The barred iron door slammed behind you as you took in the sight of the cell in which you had been dumped. It was dirt brown all around and looked like something you could dig your way out of if you had a spork. Why a spork? Because sporks are cool. The two creatures that had dragged you down here began talking amongst themselves as they went on their merry way. You could still hardly believe it, talking horses? What the actual flying fuck? You must really be losing it... Alright, reality check. Who, what, why, when and where are you?

~

You are an ordinary young lad, not exactly a model, but not too shabby looking either, with your semi-long light red hair, your lightly toned body from all the soda crates you move everyday and your decent height of a 176 centimeters. You live an ordinary life, with a few friends and a decent job flipping burgers at the local burger place. All in all, life is pretty good.

Your name? Anonymous. You never understood your parents either, but that is your name, and you’re sticking with it.

It had been another tiring day at Larry’s Burger House, but you were finally off and looked forward to getting back home and hitting the shower. You swear, if you didn’t actually move, the local hobos might mistake you for a giant burger with the way you smelled right now.

It still didn’t guarantee that you wouldn’t be mobbed by a bunch of hungry, hungry hobos. So you quickly moved along the road, opting to cut through the local park.

As you walked through the gates, you were greeted by the lush park bathed in the burning orange light of the setting sun. You couldn’t help but stop and look for a bit as a gentle breeze blew by, getting stronger... And stronger, and that crackling sound doesn’t sound like the local wildlife. You turned around and saw a floating orb of light, it was as if it halted in its tracks the moment you looked at it.

The epic staredown continued for a while, until you finally took a step backwards... The bloody thing moved a step as well! Two steps, three steps... And you ran like a little girl would from the local rapists. But the darn thing smelled burgers and planned on devouring you whole, you were sure about it! The exit, almost out. You put all your strength into your legs as you bolted for the gate, your apartment complex being just across the road from it. Feeling overconfident you dared a look behind you and yeah, it was still following you at an alarming pace. Wait, why is everything suddenly upside down? In your moment of stupidity, you had missed the bottle on the road in front of you and was now busy spinning in the air, and just as suddenly as it began, the spinning stopped. Instead all you saw was white light flashing faster and faster before you had to shut your eyes. And then it all stopped, you dared to open your eyes, only to see the ceiling of some weird room before finally registering the feeling of falling down. With a mighty splash you landed in what looked like a fountain with a horse sculpture on the top spewing out water from its mouth and down on your head... At least you got your bath.

Getting up from the fountain, you wiped the water and rose petals that was in said water out of your eyes, and moved your soaked hair aside to get a proper look at where you were. It looked like the inside of the palace from Disney’s Aladdin with lots of golden decorations and colorful curtains, as well as a ton of pastel colored horses everywhere... Staring at you with shocked looks on their faces that you didn’t think was even possible for a horse. They seemed to be in the middle of eating, sitting by a long table with lots of plates on it. You were trying to make out what it was they were eating when something shocked you to the very core.

“ONE MILLION YEARS DUNGEON!”

~

Right, that was what had happened... The horse had talked, you couldn’t believe it... THE HORSE TALKED! What the bloody fuck is going on here! One moment you’re being chased by hungry light orbs and then suddenly you’re flippin’ jailed for taking a bath in their stupid fountain! Fucking horses! In frustration, you kicked the door... And it opened... Not one to miss out on a chance like this, you ran out and down the hall in the opposite direction of where you came from. No need to get yourself tossed back in the slammer after all.

You made sure to check around every corner as you slowly made your way down the hallway you were currently in. The wall on your left seemed to be lined with nothing but empty cells and on the right, it occasionally broke off into other corridors which you had no intentions of going down for now. After all, all the cells were equipped with windows, small ones, but windows nonetheless. Meaning that you only had that bloody wall between you and freedom, so you hoped that there might be an exit further down this hall.

You reach another branching path and slowly peek around the corner, spotting five guards busy playing something that looks like a children's card game. You quickly rolled across the floor and made it to the other side without alarming them, but as you rose up from the ground you accidentally elbowed an empty can on the barrel next to you.

“Wait! Did you hear that!?” One of the guards yelled.

“Yeah, I heard you activating my trap card, you sore loser...”

“No, not that! I heard something over there!”

Oh shit! Gotta think fast!

“Meow~! Meow~!”

“Relax my friend, it’s just one of those mangy cats...”

“Oh... So where were we?”

Phew... Just barely made it out of that one. You wiped the sweat from your forehead and continued to stealthily make your way towards the exit, or at least you hoped so.

And that hope was hereby utterly crushed. Nothing but another stinking cell down here, though this one had a pedestal with something on it inside... Oh well, not any of your business after all. Guess you’ll just have to find another way out.

But just as you turned to leave, you heard ‘It’... An eerie female voice coming from the empty cell behind you.

“Come... I can help you...”

A shiver ran down your spine as you turned around to face the cell again. Still empty, unless you count the pedestal. But the last time you checked, pedestals didn’t talk... Then again, neither did horses.

Against your better judgment you tried opening the door, finding it to be unlocked, not that they’re that hard to open with brute force. Once inside, you find the pedestal to hold a bracelet that shone like moonlit silver, and on what you assumed to be the top of it, sat a jade green stone that seemed to be weaved into the bracelet.

“The bracelet, put it on,” the voice urged you on.

Should you really be listening to disembodied voices? Even if she did sound cute now that you listened properly... “Oh to hell with it.”

You grabbed the bracelet and put it over your right hand so that it came to rest on your wrist. Immediately after it began to glow brighter and brighter, and you also noticed that it felt cold as ice. After the light had died down and you regained your vision, you saw that the bracelet had somehow shrunk to fit your wrist perfectly, of course now you can’t get it off again...

After scrutinizing it for a bit, you tried shaking your arm to no result. Rubbing the gem stone... Nothing happened. Poking it repeatedly, still nothing. In the end you leaned in and tried whispering a quiet hello. Suddenly something grabbed each side of your head and two yellow orbs with red irises stared into your own. The sheer shock of it made you give out the manliest yelp in history as you tossed yourself backwards and slammed into the bars behind you.

In front of you stood the most peculiar creature you had ever seen. It seemed to be made of a mashed up animal shelter, if said shelter contained all sorts of weird creatures instead of dogs and cats. You could swear that it had the body of a pony, legs of both a goat and a giant reptile,like a dragon. It had both a giant eagle claw and a lions paw on its arms. And wings, it looked like a demon and an angel wing. Its head was also horse like, though its muzzle didn’t seem to be as long as the horses you knew of. and to top it all off, it had two horns, one of a goat and the other was an deer antler. Its long white mane swayed gently in the breeze that came from the window giving you the impression of a woman. Perhaps the voice you heard before belonged to this creature.

As if it knew what you were thinking, the creature flashed you what you could only describe as a seductive smile, its cute canines giving it a bit of a dangerous flair, “I am indeed the one who called you... Whatever you are.”

Well, she’s a female, no doubt about it. That seductive voice would have made any man turn his head if they heard it. It was thick as the sweetest honey with a hint of playfulness that would have made you imagine a hot redheaded minx of a woman, had it not belonged to this mishmash of creatures.

You got up from the ground and took a couple of steps forward, “I’m a Human... And you?”

She somehow floated over and inspected you, poking and prodding you as she swirled around you. Seemingly satisfied, she flew back to where she was before and somehow summoned a recliner with a snap from her lions paw, which she then plopped down in.

“I am a Draconequus, and I also happen to be the genie of the bracelet which you are currently the bearer of,” she said as she pointed a claw at said piece of jewelry, “You may call me Jennie.”

“Anonymous,” you curtly replied, giving a slight bow.

“So let me get this straight. You are a genie? The wish granting sort?”

“Why yes. Though, I do not fulfill wishes that I do not like or don’t feel like granting.”

“Ok... How many wishes do I have then?”

“Until I grow tired of you.”

You couldn’t help but to cock an eyebrow, “That’s quite vague.”

She let out a soft giggle, “You try being immortal, you’d get bored too. This is just my way of relieving said boredom.”

You were about to open your mouth and deliver the greatest comeback in the history of humankind, but none came to mind and you quickly closed it again so as to not get any flies inside.

But then it hit you, like a freight train would the drunken man who fell asleep on the tracks, “Can I wish myself back home?”

“That would be child's play for one as great as I.”

“Awesome! Then I wish for y-”

“Not gonna do it.”

“What? Why!?”

“Think, human. Think. I’ve been stuck in this cell for the past five generations of sultans! That’s almost five hundred years in this dinky cell! Unable to move because I had to be so foolish as to promise my last wielder that I would not create a contract with any other Equestrians outside of his lineage. But all of his descendants have been nothing but wet blankets, they all lacked the adventurous spirit that he had... But now my break has finally come!”

She got up from her recliner which immediately burst into a pack of rats which scoured out the bars and down the nearest hallway, she then flew over and jabbed her paw in your chest.

“You! With you, I don’t have to wait for the next sultan to grow some balls! I can finally go outside and see the world again, and you expect me to give that up?”

She was only inches from your face now, her eyes wide and desperate. You couldn’t help but feel for her, being stuck down here with nothing to do... Ah to hell with it all. You may lose your job at Larry’s, but that’s fine... It’s not everyday you get a chance like this.

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

“Don’t even think of decli- Wait? You will?” She blinked, confusion clear in her eyes. It was obvious that she had expected you to put up more of a resistance than that.

“Well, sure. I can always get a new job back home. Only reason I worked there, was that it’s only a quick jog from my place. I was getting tired of flipping burgers everyday anyway... The smell of cooking grease is hard to get out of your clothes.”

A smile that was bigger than it had any right to be spread across her face as her eyes seemed to sparkle with excitement, “Then what are we wasting daylight for? Move it... Master~” She said those last words in a way that made it tingle all the way down your spine.

“You’ll hear no objections from me!”

You quickly ran out of the cell and down the hallway in front of you, Jennie floating right behind you. No need to take the path you came from, after all, seeing as there were guards down there.

“Halt! Criminal scum!”

Well, that was a bust. Turned out that the guard station was placed in the center of the area, with hallways in each of four directions for easy access to each cell block. You didn’t stop to stare but just legged it with all of your might, Jennie still floating behind you laughing with glee. Suddenly a bunch of guard burst out the hallway further down you path, effectively cutting off your escape routes.

“Fuck! I wish we could just get out of this stinkin’ Jail!”

The only thing you heard, was the snap of two fingers. Suddenly you felt that falling sensation again, but instead of a fountain, you landed on something soft which let out a muffled yelp. Rolling over, you figured that you were now on a bed... But whose bed? You slowly turned your head around and saw her. A light pink mare with a sapphire blue mane and tail. She was looking at you with her frightened light blue eyes. She opened her mouth to scream, but you quickly leapt towards her and clamped it shut with your hands. Now the only sound in the room was your hard breathing from the ordeals you had just been through, and Jennies muffled laughter.

You looked around, noticing only the balcony ahead of you, as well as a door behind you.

What do you do?

Author's Note

Dice rolled this chapter:

Starting Point:

1:Canterlot
2:Everfree
3:Manehattan
4:Crystal Empire
5:Saddle Arabia
6:Las Pegasus

Roll D6.

Got a 5, starting in Saddle Arabia.
__

Probability rolls.
1~4 = Epic Fail.
5~7 = Barely made it.
8~10 = Epic Win.
___

Dungeon Guards.
Rolled a d10.
Got a 7 and barely made it.

First wish.
Rolled a d10.
Got a 6 and barely made it.