It's Ole Neccy!by CadesChaptersOoh look! Fleshies!More Fleshies and Talking!2spook (All Hallows' Eve Joke Chapter)Ooh look! Fleshies!Well. It’s that time of millenia. Time to wake up. Every thousand years or so I, a Necron who took to being called Ole Neccy, wakes up to help maintain the Tomb Spyders. Why? I don’t know. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was black. Funny. I usually see black with green glow and the silhouettes of Tomb Spyders. And what I’m lying on doesn’t feel like metal. Feels like... something organic... spongy... grass? That stuff I’ve heard those funny looking humans talk about? I sit up, and look around. A lot of green stuff and some brown stuff. The green stuff was coming out of the brown stuff on somethings. I manage to stand up, getting a better view of what was around me. More organicy stuff. I think those humans called these things plants. Oh how they laughed and laughed and cried. They missed their homes. Then my curiosity got the better of me and they started to shoot me with their flashlights. So, I did what came to me first. I advanced upon them slowly, blasting them with my gauss blaster. Back to the really planty place at hand. I am very confused as to why I was here. The last thing I remember was going back to sleep after the rest of the members in my tomb. But now, I just don’t know what went wrong. I look around, searching for my flayer, which is nowhere to be seen. I allow my shoulders to sink, a thing I saw humans do when they do what I believe is called a sigh. I looked around, and heard something. Something... curious. It sounded like humans, but younger and not the ones with the junk dangling from their lower bodies. What? I’m curious. I focus in on the voices, and follow them to their source. What I saw amazed me. My gauss blaster and three little animals that were of bright, color. More importantly, they’re playing around with my blaster! Pesky little horse rodent things. “Ah wunder wut it does! Scoots?” The yellow orange thing with red on the top of her, I’m assuming it’s a her, asks the orange thing with purple, and strange things on its back. “I dunno, Apple Bloom. Maybe it’s some sort of... transpor... transper...” “Is the word you’re looking for transportation?” The white one said. I like the white one. Don’t know why, just do. Probably because it has a thing that looks like it can impale a small animal through the heart. I push the planty things apart, startling the three young whippersnappers to run away and up a tree. I walk over to my gauss blaster, and pick it up. I look over the weapon, and I feel myself smile on the inside. I love this weapon. Back to the trio of little things. I looked up at the tree they hid in, and gestured for them to some down, my hand not even on the grip of my weapon. I dropped my shoulders when i heard them bickering that I would eat them. I knew they could see me, so I tried opening my “mouth,” which didn’t work because I don’t have one. I gestured for them to come down, and to my surprise, they agreed. But quickly went back up when they heard howling and the creaking of wood. I slowly turned around, and saw large canine like creatures made of wood. Think them humies called them wolves... But these were made of wood... so are they called timber wolves? Let’s go with that. And boy, are they PISSED that I’m in their territory. The first one charged, and I made no action to move. It bit down on my right arm, and I just looked at it, my head tilted curiously. One of its eyes swiveled to look me in the face, where it peered into my cold, soulless eyes. The reaction it made was priceless, and it let go, backpedaling towards its packmates. If I could smile, I would be grinning the worst smile of all smiles, the most cruel smile, ever. Of all time. I brought my gauss blaster to bear, aiming at any of the wooden wolves. I pulled the trigger, and the green lightning like beam flew out of the barrel and collided with one of the wolves, instantly disintegrating it and sending the particles back to my gun. Silence reigned throughout our little space in the woods. Now, you may be wondering why a NECRON, a soulless heap of living metal that despises all death, is protecting three little life forms that I should be killing. I’m going to say that my programming is faulty because I have no idea either. Anyway, after the first wolf fell to my weapon, the others all looked at me. Then, they decided to charge me. Now, I managed to take out two more before the all leaped, so I had to use the blade attached on my blaster. It got wedged in the first one, allowing the others to latch onto me. While I was on the ground, for the wooden wolf that leapt at me knocked me over. Welp. I am, as the humans say, fucked. Being the ever stoic Necron I am, I pulled the trigger to my gauss blaster, and it disintegrated the wolf to my left, freeing up that arm. With that free arm, I manage to free my weapon from the wolf. Unfortunately for me, the largest of the wolves decided to bite my head, almost clean off. Which then killed me. With me out of the way, the wolves then turned to the three fleshies in the tree. Unfortunate for the fleshies and wolves, but fortunate for me. Why do I say fortunate? Because I rolled a six on my reanimation protocol, so you can just suck it! I stood up, in a rather painful looking motion, and picked up my weapon, the wolves completely unaware of what is transpiring behind them. I turn around, aim, and fire, disintegrating one wolf instantly. I repeat, another confirmed kill. Now all that remain are two wolves, the large one and a small one, which is currently lying on the ground with a cut from my blade in its chest. I focus solely on the large one, which is now charging at me. I fire without aiming, glancing it’s leg, which causes it to stumble and fall, sliding towards me now. I back up a few paces, and look down into the eyes of the beast, it clearly wanting to get this over with, wanting me to show no mercy for it. Now, I do something HIGHLY unorthodox for a Necron. I let it live. Yeah, that’s right. I step over the fallen form of the wolf to retrieve the fleshies in the tree. Someone should take a picture of me holding a hand out to those three fleshies in the tree. One of the trio pokes its head out from the green stuff, and looks at my hand curiously. It then looks at my face, and retreats back into the tree. I put my hand down, listening to them argue whether they should come down or not. But come on, I’m only a ten foot tall zombie robot with a weapon that can destroy just about anything. What harm can I do? Screw you, reader. I know what you’re thinking! Oh, but Ole Neccy, you can kill everything! Maybe even the rulers of the land which you know nothing about, myaah! The white one poked her head out from the tree and said, “Umm... Mister? Do you think you could take us... that way?” I looked in the direction it was pointing its stubby appendage, and nodded. The face of the white fleshy one expanded in a grin and retreated back into the green stuff, and emerged a short time later with the other two. “Are you going to carry us, mister?” The white one asks me. I contemplate for a little while, then nod, turning around so they can get on my shoulders and back. When I don’t feel anything, I pat my back, a motion for them to get on. I smile internally when I feel the three small things hop onto my back. I then begin walking, my weapon in my hands, to protect the three young ones. Why the hell am I doing this? I’m still going with faulty programming, or maybe something in the world is changing me... “So, uh... Weird metal thingy... what’s that thing you’re holding?” The annoying orange and magenta one asked me. That’s it! It’s magenta, not purple. I slapped a hand over my mouth, and began rubbing my hand against it. “Umm... What?” White one asked. “Hey, mister. Can you talk?” I shake my head, negative, Ghostrider. “Oh...” She said, sounding a bit.. downtrodden? Huh. After that revelation, the trip was rather quiet. The trip lasted an hour or two before I heard somethings, voices. Off in the distance, the way we’re headed, I could hear voices. Not just any voices, panicked voices. The slightly less annoying yellow on, who was on my left shoulder asked if I could speed up. So I did. The really annoying orange-ish one was on my right shoulder, looking around with wide eyes. And on my head, was the not annoying white one. The white one said shouted something which sounded, which prompted a rather refined voice to respond, equally as loud. Why were they shouting at each other? I mean, come one. I’m right here, guys. The brush parted, revealing a slightly larger white thing with purple on its head, followed by a flying blue thing with a lot of colors on its head, an orange thing with a cool hat, an annoying looking pink thing, another yellow thing with long pink stuff that was hiding behind a purple thing with purple head stuff. All of their mouthy things were wide open, in shock at seeing three small things, possibly their kin, riding a ten foot tall zombie robot. “Hi, Rarity!” Not annoying white thing said, waving. That broke them out of their stupor. What happened next surprised me, only slightly. The orange one ran up and kicked my left leg with her back appendages, while the blue one flew at my torso a high speed. Of course, being a Necron I didn’t budge, but the two that attacked me felt the pain of attacking something made of solid metal, which, at least to me, is pretty funny. Well, it was funny before the two things with horns on them tried to grab my arms with their warp powers. I’m assuming this because their horny things on the top of their heads started to glow, indicating a connection to the warp. And to their surprise, the glow around my arms started to fizzle, along with the glow around their horns. And to surprise them all, I set my weapon on the ground, got onto my hands and knees, and tilted forwards to allow the three young things off of my shoulders and head. Yet again, jaws dropped to the floor at my actions. I righted myself, and picked up my weapon, shrugging at the peculiar looks that the six are giving me. The blue one was the first to recover. It flew up to my face, shouting something at me, which I didn’t even bother listening to. Instead, I just looked straight into her eyes with my cold, soulless ones. Her rant started to falter as she noticed the bored, not caring look in my glowing eyes. As she started to back away, the purple one approached me, curiosity positively bursting from her. A scholar, I presume. I hope she is nothing like Trazyn. That Necron is annoying, what with his tendency to take ancient relics and send out copies of himself. As this scholar approached, I looked down at her. Now, I’m just going to assume that these fleshies just believe me to be a mindless automaton with little to no purpose in its seemingly immortal life. “Can you understand me?” It asks, talking slowly, almost like I’m some sort of young thing. I roll my eyes and nod my head. It makes a high pitched noise, a huge grin appearing on its face, and spews stuff about a princess and first contact with an alien race. Something like that. Before it can say anything else, a regal sounding voice shouts something, which sounds like “Twilight,” and the purple one turns around. “Princess? What are you doing here?” More Fleshies and Talking!"Twilight, what are you doing here?" The giant, horned chicken asked medium sized purple thing. "Well, princess, we were looking for those three," Purple points to the young fleshies that I rescued, "When this alien came out of the brush, with them on its head and shoulders." "Hm. Curious. Do you know how it got here?" White chicken asked purple thing. "Uh, no princess. All we saw was a single bolt of green lightning, and that's it," Purple responded. "Hm. Alien, where are you from?" My head jerked up when I figured out that the big, white chicken was talking to me. I really don't like when beings of authority talk to me. And by talk I mean the Necron Lord I'm serving under just points at me and signals what I should do. "Um. E-excuse me p-princess. B-but he c-can't speak..." I really like the small white one, even more now that it is speaking up for me. Takes some real, as the humies say, balls to speak to speak to a person of authority without being spoken to. “Really, now?” Big ass white chicken looks at me, and is about to speak when a slightly smaller, dark blue chicken intercepts. “Yes, it seems that this beast doth not possess mouth,” The blue above average height blue chicken says, walking up to the larger chicken. And really? Beast? I’ll have you know that I am no beast! Big white chicken thing is about to speak, when an angry sounding howl fills the air. Instead, she suggests that it is best if we back out of the forest. When we left the forest, we skirted around a medium sized town. Why were we doing this? I don’t know, for I was not paying attention to what they were talking about after we heard the howl. Where we ended up seemed like another forest. Except that there was a considerable distance between each tree, and they were placed in a grid pattern. Upon closer inspection, these trees had, in addition to the green stuff, red orbs. We approached a rather large building that was painted red. Don’t know why, but I get anxious around things that are red. Maybe, just maybe, it was those pesky human flashlights that shot those beams of red at me. And I tell you, they HURT. Oh shut it. I still feel pain even though I’m made from metal. “Red... why is it always red?” Everything looked up at me. Oh shit. Did I talk? That was supposed to be a thought! Curses! Good thing I spoke in my native tongue! But I still gave away that I can talk. Okay. Here is where some things get cleared up. I am a Necron Immortal, and I think I am broken. The language these fleshies speak is similar to that which the humans use, albeit rather informal. The three things of varying annoyingness have befriended me because I saved them. The huge ass white chicken and the smaller blue chicken things have a lot of armored fleshies that are glaring at me. I don’t like the color red. I like long walks on the beach with a smoking hot Eldar. Just kidding. I hate the Eldar. Those elves were made by the Old Ones, and I hate the Old Ones. I’m the O to the L-E-N-E-C-C-Y, and ain’t no Necron be as broke as me. I’m Neccylicious. Yes. I just did that. Also, I named my gauss blaster. I named it Thor, acronym for The Hertz of Rudeness. Who the hell is the... God of Thunder? You’re crazy. Also, the large chicken thing is smaller than your truly. So with all the fleshies looking at me, I start to panic. Just a little. But I try my best to remain calm, and point to my self and mimic talking, all with my left hand. As I shrug, most eyes revert away from my. Oh, and when I said all eyes were looking at me, I lied. The not annoying white one was actually on my head. I put it on there on the walk here, making the larger white one protest. I do not know why it protested, but it did. As we entered the giant red building, I was mildly surprised. There was absolutely no red in here. Except the red fleshy thing lying on a pile of what I believe is straw. The medium sized orange one walked over to it, poked it a couple times, and said something to it. What orange said will remain a mystery because I was too busy with the three small things, who were climbing all over me. I think the medium white one passed out. I manage to suppress laughter at the medium white one. What? I may be broken, but I’m not entirely good. I mean come one. I’m a sixty million year old zombie robot who hates all life. I mean come on! I have a plan to kill—The white one is now on my weapon. If I had a heart, I’m sure it would would explode at the way she is looking at me. I push all those that are in my way out of my way, looking straight down at the white one on my weapon. I then sit down on a round looking wooden thing, and it surprisingly handles my weight. I take my left hand, pat it on the head a couple of times, and put my thumb and index finger on the center of my mouth, and simulate a smile using my two appendages on my hand. I then point to myself, and repeat the smile gesture. I am about to pet it on the head a couple more times when the huge chicken thing interrupted me by clearing its throat. “Now, that we are safe from whatever may be lurking in the Everfree Forest, I want to know how an alien, especially one that I have not seen before, managed to find its way onto this planet,” It asked me. Wait. Other aliens have came here? I pondered this for a good three seconds, my... I want to say brain, but do I even have a brain? I probably don’t have a brain. But if I don’t have a brain, how am I thinking? Anyway, whatever it is that I use to think was working hard, trying to come up with any possibilities as to why I woke up on this strange, organicy planet, and not wanting to kill everything I see. It came up with one solution: Shrug. What I believe were her eyebrows rose at my answer. The other chicken with a stabby device on its head walked up, and said something that I didn’t catch, was too busy with the small white thing. You know, I just got really bored. Was I reprogrammed with a shorter attention span as well as not wanting to destroy all organic life. Is it a specific reprogramming that applies just to this planet? Or was I completely reprogrammed? Maybe I’ll learn what’s wrong with me, maybe I won’t. The purple one tells the big white thing something that I don’t quite catch, and the white one looks outside, my gaze follows, and I spot a really big purple bubble over what looks like a city built onto a mountain. That is pretty cool. The white thing says something that I don’t catch at all, and exits, followed by the other horned chicken and a large amount of identical things, leaving four identical things and one with a spear like object on its head. The purple one walked up to them, engaging in conversation with the one wearing slightly more ornate armor. I wonder how strong their armor is. Probably not as strong as my body, or that armor those bigger humans with those weapons that shoot exploding things at us wear. I feel like I should test that sometime. Why? Because I’m a curious little Necron. Well, little isn’t the correct term to use, since I’m about ten feet tall. Oh, I love irony, don’t you, reader? I love irony! What the—Who are you? I’m Pinkie Pie! Who are you? Well, I’m Ole Neccy. Ya know, the giant metal zombie robot with the three little fleshies things on it. Oh, you mean the Crusaders! They’re nice fillies, and they seem to like you! And that means that I like you too! GASP! I have to throw you a party! Party? Uh, Pinkie Pie? Hello? You there? I guess not. Well. What just happened? Because I don’t even know. All I... felt was a noise that was pink and then we had a small conversation. And one other question: What is a party? I will ponder this later. In the meantime, the purple one disengaged its conversation with the five armored things, and walked over to your truly, while the five things went outside, to stand guard this building, I presume. The purple one walked outside, with three others, leaving the white and purple one, orange one, and what Pinkie said were the Crusaders. “Can I pleeease stay here, Rarity? Please?” Adorable white one asked the medium white one. “Yeah, sis. Can ah stay in the barn, too?” Small yellowish one asked large orangey one. “Well, if Applejack says it’s okay, Sweetie...” Medium white one responded to small white one. “Ah guess... But ah won’t like it. Ah don’t like th’ looks o’ him,” Orange one responded to the small yellow one. Both gave a cheer, while the orange and purple one was sleeping on my chest. What, I didn’t tell you that I went to lie down on a bed of hay? I must be way out of it to forget something as simple as that. Anyway, the other two ran over, and made themselves comfortable on my metal body. Heh, adorable. As my gaze came to rest on the ceiling, I started to regain a memory of sorts to about a millennia ago, when the sixty thousand Sleep was over.... “Sir, sir! The left flank reports a monolith among the ranks! We can’t hold them back any longer!” A low ranking Imperial Guard officer radios in to command, using his vox. “Earthshakers, fire on that Monolith! Basilisks and Manticores, keep up the fire. I want nothing to get past this line!” The Imperial Guard General orders his men, over the vox. “Yes sir,” Comes the reply from the man in charge of the Earthshaker platforms. Almost immediately, the area around the Necron monolith was set ablaze by the shells coming from the Earthshakers. The General allowed himself a small smile at the short amount of time it took the left flank to receive support from the Earthshakers. This smile quickly fell as he heard the screams of Guardsmen directly outside of the large control room he was in. Immediately, all of the Storm Troopers’ guns were pointed at the door, waiting. The door opened. Running into the room is an extremely bloody Guardsman, missing his right arm and helmet. He stops in front of the General and collapses, muttering something about Necrons in the base. The General orders the door to be closed and sealed. Seconds later, the door bursts open in a cloud of dust and green lightning. Everything in the room opens fire immediately, save for the General. Next, comes silence. Then, the form of a Necron Immortal enters the room, gauss blaster at the ready. This Necron is followed by four Necron Warriors.. A quick exchange of fire results in over half of the Storm Troopers and Command Staff dead, the General injured, and most of the Necrons destroyed, by means of grenades and the General’s Lightning Claws. The only surviving Necron, the necron Immortal, is lying on the ground, head on the wall. The General smiles, then gasps as the blades of a Necron Wraith find their mark, in the General’s torso. He looks down, and sees claws protruding from his chest. The Wraith lifts him into the air, and rips him in two as the Necron Immortal stands back up. Both Wraith and Immortal kill everyone inside of the Command Center, then depart. ...They were talking too much. I hate talking. 2spook (All Hallows' Eve Joke Chapter)Nightmare Night chapter. Just to show I'm not abandoning this. This has nothing to do with the actual plot of the story, folks. I'll try and have the next actual chapter out between American Thanksgiving and American Christmas. Stay healthy, my fellow zombie robot ghosts. It's been about a week since I've started living in this barn. It's been pretty swell. Sitting there, eyes unblinking, spooking those little four legged creatures that happened to enter this place. Except for a few. Like the little ones. They're young and carefree. Earlier, the nine of them: the three little ones; Purple; Butter; Apple; Marshmallow; Pink; and the one that looks like a Rainbow Warrior, cool guys, despite being worse than the Sisters at life. Anyway, the nine of them came in to the barn, and after a fright, calmed down and started to talk. I didn't hear what they were saying, but I did pick up words like "Nightmare Night" and "Giant Metal Scarecrow" and Butter whimpered something that sounded like "Too spooky for me." I like Butter. Butter is my favorite. When they finished talking, and taking a few glances at me, most of them came up to me and told me to stand up. I tilted my head in confusion, but obliged. Marshmallow pulled out a measuring device that was really primitive, and measured all around me. Its magicy stuff was working. I don't want to kill them. **** It's been a couple of days when they finished taking my measurements. Marshmallow and the others returned. It unraveled a package, and used her magic to hold it up to me. It was what the mortals called clothes. It included a hat too. I like hats. Oh! This one time, I killed one of those team-killers the humans have, and took his hat. The others in my command got a kick out of that. I think I used to be a comedian turned soldier before I was turned into a killing death robot of doom. But this hat looked as it was made of straw, or hay. But is was a hat none the less. I grabbed the hat, and placed it upon my head and sat down. They never told me to sit back down, did they? No they didn't, and yes I was standing for a few days. It's great. **** A few more days passed, and the nine minus three came back around my domain again. This time they had a bunch of other things with them. Like paints. Are we doing arts and crafts? I hope so. Oh, they also had faux spiders, bats, and other creepy crawlies. They also brought along a few devices. One of them started to produce smoke. Purple commanded me to go and lie on the hay bed. I did so. They she started to paint my skull mask, with the others helping to paint the rest of my body. So they are doing the arts and crafts, but on me. Interesting. And fun. They kept painting until Marshmallow said stop. They did. Then Purple preformed some spell on me. Oh wait, I should go into detail about what happened in the forest when they attacked me. Marshmallow and Purple couldn't use their fancy magics on me because I have the innate ability to cancel out minor magic discharges. Like telekinesis, or whatever they call it here. That's only because it is a really simple spell to cast. To be able to move me, one would need a large amount of magic powers and skill and experience and focus to be able to affect me with telekinesis. Amazing, is it not? Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Purple cast a spell on me that, if I am correct, made the paint dry faster. Nifty spell, is it not? They all stepped back to admire their work, passing smiles and giggles and praise and a couple scared whimpers at each other. Marshmallow produced the outfit that, if I am correct, Marshmallow made itself. They somehow managed to get it on me, I didn't pay attention. By now, the sun was setting, and it was turning dark. They scurried around, and set up the smoke devices. And the fake critters. And everything else they had brought with them. "Now, I want you," said Purple, talking to me, "To stand way back there, and just be frightening." I obliged Purple's command, and go stand to where she had gestured with her hoof. And I then waited. **** If my guess is correct, several hours had passed before the nine minus three returned. When they did, they were all dressed up in different costumes. They were giggling and stuff that fleshlings do. Their costumes were all, and I quote "Spooks and giggles." I honestly have no idea what they mean by that, but I simply do not have a single care. I would keep talking, but I heard many many voices coming from outside. I wonder what the voices are saying. All of a sudden, the lights in the barn went out, except for a few lights. The door opened, and a group of four, maybe fi- Ë̷̶̹̞͉́̀̿̐ͭ͌̑̈́ͮͤͣͦ̌̈ͦ̏̀͟r̮̞̮̞̦̖̞͈͕̠̹̞͕̪̞̬̠̅̓̿̉̊̌ͤ̿̑̏ͧ̀͘͢͡͝ͅŗ͒͛̋̈̉̿̌̑̅̒̅ͩ̓̃͆̑͘͏̷̪̫͖̲͇͕̩̼͓̩̞̱̝ȯ̡̰͓͔̫͔̘̬̫̝̬͓̭͔ͫ͂̉̉̇̃ͩ̂ͮ̋͞r̢̼͉̗̙͓̠̣̻̻͙͍͕̼̦̓͐̓ͨ̍ͩ͢.̡̍̃ͩͩ͆ͫ̈ͨ̄ͩ̏̾͌̑̊͢͠҉̧̙̪̤͇̤ ̵̛͕͎͓̖͓̟̻̣̹̯͎̗͎ͯ͌͊̔̉͐ͬͪ̂̊̇̿͢͠͝ͅͅẄͤͬ̑̎ͫ̍̆ͩ̏̔̿ͨ̒ͨ̃ͤ̊͏̷̸͙̞̖̰͈͖̣̰̳͙̫̙͖͡a͔̹̦͓̟̲͇͇̱̟̹̻̫̫͎̮̞̅ͪ̋̉ͤ̕͡ṛ̶̵̗͖̱̣̞̮̲̮̟̩͇͈͗̒̽͗̈́͢͟͝p̧͕͎̼̭̱̠̙͕̗̘̻̼͓̱̭̑̇̑̄̌̆ͦ̌ͧ̂̔ͥ̾̀͢ ̛͙͇̯̗͍͖̹̫̥͓̭̠̩͇̻͔͎̗̳̄͌͗͐ͤͭ̾̓ͫ͗ͯ͊͆̀̈́ͪ́̅̍́͜͠͞s̡͐ͬ̓̊͒ͣ̂̆ͬ̆̕͝҉̠͓̙͉̞͍̘̻̻̰̯̥i̧̮̣͔̯̬̥̘̥͈̣̯̜̬͈͈͔͓ͥͧ̍̅͋̈́̐͜g̴̷̢͙̤̻̤̯̍͛͗͋́̾ͩ̋͐̃̐͌̇̉ͬ̓ͯ͌̚͘͟n̡̔̌ͣ̊ͦ̆̋̽ͣ̈́ͭ͋͏͇͓̜͈̲̰̞̻̠̯͇͞ą͇̹̩͕͇̭͓̩͈̦̘͇̥̪ͣͩ̽ͮͭ̍͂̔͐̇ͥ͆́̚̚ṫ͕̦̱̝͓̭͎̠͓̹̅ͦ̋ͯ͌̒ͮ̉ͤ͆́͜͞ͅu̶͇͕̞̫͔̤̻̤̗̼͙̝̻̖̼̟̥̻͑́͐̔̋ͪ̌̈ͫ͆̓̍ͨ̿̀̏̀̄͂̀͟͜r̷̷̮̹͎͉̟̤̱͓̤͉̤͓̥̊ͨ̊̎ͦ͐͑̑̆͡e̵̷̢͎̙͇͈̫̩̞̠̩͍͕̹̐ͬ̌ͣͣ̀̏ͣ͡͡ ̶̩̦͕̻̱̊̍̎̚̚͡dͯ͌ͤ̍ͮ͑̎ͦͫͪ̆̽ͨͣ͋̐̚̚͏̷͙̱̲̮͉̞͍͎́͢͜eͤͭ̓̆̀̎̔̎̍ͯ̾̕͞͞҉͖̻͖̝̯̰̟̩̗͖͓̳̙̟̤͜ṫ̶̛̪̱̮̘̬̜̜̰ͮ͋͑͑ͯ̀̍ͫ̏ͣ͂̍̕͠e̸͚̩͚͔̜͍̯͇̠̙̯̲̭̯̟̫̩ͤͮ͒́̈́ͥ̾͌̂ͪͣ̃̍̅́́͡ç̖͈͚̺̘̪̖̭ͬͫ̀̽̽̃ͭ̈ͣ̿ͧ̽̏̑̃͊̆́̚̚͝͠ͅt̵̂̈́̓҉̸̖͈͉̫̺̜͈͚̰̲̖̹̩͍͓̭̰ę̵̮̤͓̬̟͔̣͍͕͉̻͕͎̺͎͚̗̞͗̿̄ͣ̂̎̊ͭ̒ͮͦ̌ͮ̐͆̿̉͘͟͝ͅḑ̳̳̲̱̜̟̟͆ͤ͋̍̃ͮ̃͠.̌̑ͨ̐ͣ̄͛̈́͋̐́̆͗ͤͣ͒͐͌́͏̵̢̰͇͓̪͚̞̜̟͓̭͎̞̟̻̭͉̟̟̬ ̸̵̧̝͉̣̹͂ͣ̃ͧͣ́͟T̸ͮ͋́ͤ̂ͨ̕͏͕̰̫͔̟͇ḩ̶̶̠̘͍͓̝͈̜͍̝̣̭̻̥̥̞̬̭̄̾̇ͪ̎͗͂ͥ͌̊̑̀̋͐͌̀̆̅̀ͅi̡̩̝̲͍̯̯̝̫͉͙̾̊̂͆̓̍ͧ͂͑ͪͬ͟ͅs̪͔͙̯̝̜̥͇̜̦͉̖̩̿͛ͤͭͯ̈́̏ͦ͌̽ͯ̋ͯ́̈́́̚͜͠ ̢̃͒̂ͩ̈́̊̊̌҉҉͉̱̮͚̬̲U̵̧̱̱͚̳͖̲ͣ̄̓̾̐̂ͦ͂̀n̐͛̔͜҉̻̱̻̹͕͔͈̠̮̦͈͟i̵̧͖̮̖̲̮̼̜̠̩̗̙̓̃͐͗ͧt̲͓̻̭̯̙̻̻̣͈ͦ͗͊̃̿ͩͦ͆ͤ͊͛͊ͬ̎̃̈͘ ͌͆̿̈̈́͏̢̺̙͉̙͍̮̮͡i̐̂ͮ̈́ͯ̋̋̂̉̓̌̓ͦ͋͒̚͝҉̬͔͍̜̤͚͔͚̣̞̖̹̰̯̤s͉͖̮̣̩̮͔͉͈͓̲ͤͮͦ̃ͪ̌̂͆ͭͧ̚͢͝ ̷̨̛̬̮̮̮̥͕̫̜̪̟̪̺̪̯ͨ̈̈́̇̓͋͐͌̋̉͗̓̓ͨ̈́ͯ͛́̚͡ͅnͣ͒͋ͫͮ͐̄̄͏̦̲̫̗̞͉o̬̲̰͎͕̭̫̩̖̹̺̳͚̝͍͚̯̺̦̎̈́͊ͩ͘w̷̛̫̭͕͙ͦ̎̄ͭ̀ͤ̓ͭ͜ ̢̧̜̱̰̹͈̙̹̽ͩ͋ͤ̽ͬ̚͟͡u̖̪̞̳̫͔͍͖̝̖̞̯ͯͬͩ̍ͧ̏̿̅͆ͥͪ͘͘n̶̷̬̞̱̥͚̩̫͙͍̰̰̹̻͖̫̰̏ͭ̌̿̆͋̍̈͆̍̾̚̕͟͡d̶͙̬͔̙̲̳̬́̇̏̑́ͤ͛́̃̍̕͜͡ę̫͙͙̭͙̹̟̼̜ͨ̽̓̎ͤ́͝͞r̶̺͇̪̳̲̮͕͎̬̣͔̰̝̣̝͇̥ͣͧͯ̋͛̾͒́͒̚͜ ͥ̔̍̓҉͕̜͇̻̥̹̰̣̗̤̤̯͔̤̬̲͓͞͡c̛̦̦̙͓̳̯ͣͮ͌ͭͫ̎̾̂̒̍ͅö̶͓̪͉̟̱̥̠͖́ͭ͐̄̊ͯ̾̍͌̂̈̂ͪͥ̋̓̚̚͟ͅn͙͚̪̘̹̳̼̹̄̈̔͐͑̃͑͒ͦ̏̋̾ͣ̀̎ͧ͞ͅt̷̢̢̺̫̱̰͉̺̳̳͚̻̹̒͐̾͆̉͑̀͗̓͐ͨ̽̿ͯ̊͐̋̚͞rͭ̈́̐̇̍̓ͯ̿́́҉̶̸̸̦̭̫̫͕͙͇͔͕͇̙̘̰̣o̴̢̞̹͓̞̦͓̻̙̦̘ͫ̈́ͣ̓ͧ̃͌̔̍̍͊̚͜͟ľ̸̝̪̺̩̱̱̗ͨ͂ͤ̏̍ͪͫ̈́̎̓̄̂̊̂ͣͮ̚͠ͅͅ ̶̡̢̪͔̥̰̤̞̟̭̪̯͍͛ͩ̈́͒͂̃͛̃̉͞ͅơ̡͍̪͙͖̖̘̞͎̹̙̳͌̓̀͑ͧͫ͟͝f̷̡̰̮̮̮͙̤͉͇̣͇̩̬̮̜͉̥ͯͣ̌̌̿̄ͭ̏̇ͬ̇̆̈ͮͬ̽̊ͨ́̚̕͞ ̸̿̓ͥ̂̓̈̅̚͏҉̙̫͓̙̤̦̻̙̗̬̭Õ̿̆͌ͮͬͣ̈́ͩ̊͘͏̸̯͇̬̖̕v̘̰͕̖̖̱̰͓̟͂̓͆͐̐̅͐̎ͮ͆̿̆̑̂̀͡͞ë̷́ͪ̓͒̄̓̏̎̒́͏̨̰̯̯͇͘r̷̵̞͎̗̥̫̖̖̙̝̝͉̪̈͑ͤ̉ͭ͛l̴̨̳̭̼͇̫͕̖͇̙̬͐̓̐̃ͪͩ̽̆̐͋ͨ̉̎ͩ͌͑o͔͉̮͔̞͉ͭ̈́͒̒̆͑ͫ͛͊͌͆ͥ͡͞r̢̛͍͙͎͈͕̤̙̫̩͇͙̦̠̗̲̃̌ͫ̇͛̄͊͝d̵̢̿̅ͣ̐͑̾̓ͯ̈́̈̊ͪ͌͢͞͏̟͔̤̩̯̗̗̘̝̻ ̷̶̪̻͖͖̩̿̾̾ͦ̄̓̌ͩͥͧ̕Z̵̪̖̬̙̤̥̥̲̞̹̠̫̳̘͖̱̗̰̊͊͐̓͊͑̎ͭ̃̽̾ͩ̑̚̕͝a͗͒̔̃ͭ̅ͥ̑͑҉̶̶̢̧͈̫̩̠̳̻̹͖̮̯̫̱̖̞̠͍͖̣̻e̲̗̰͉ͣ̄͊͋ͯ̇͗͒̃͂̈́̀͜r̿͑̎̍̍̈́́͋͛ͫͭͨ͗ͤ̿̂̚͏̛͓̺̝̜̗̠̙̲́ẏ̜͔͉̻͚̟͈͇͇̮̬̦̖̫ͮ̾̂͋ͮ́́͜ḱ͔̰͓̣̝̖̜͍̪̺͙ͨͦ͆ͮ̾̿͋ͤ̐̃ͦ͛̓̀͡ Interesting body. It seems that it does not feel like fighting these fleshy creatures. No matter. My mission must continue. I walked my host forwards, surprising everything in the room. I grabbed my host's weapon, a well crafted gauss blaster. I exited the building, scaring the mortals. Right as I exited the building, a warp portal opened up. Out came a Noise Marine squad, accompanied by several Daemonettes. I raised my weapon, and moved my stance to one more fit for defense. The leading Noise Marine noticed me. "WHAT IS THIS? LIVING CREATURES IN SUCH CLOSE PROXIMITY OF A NECRON? HA. BROTHERS, LET US KILL THIS FIEND!" I hate Noise Marines. They are very loud. The other Noise Marines shouted, and activated their Doom Sirens, bringing their Sonic Blasters to bear. Mostly on the crowd. The leader was wielding a strange weapon, what looked like a fusion of human and a different type of alien technology. They opened fire upon me. The sound that their weapons produced was almost deafening. If it affected me. I pulled the trigger on my weapons, striking one of the charging Daemonettes in the face, banishing it immediately. I kept the fire on them, the streams of sound turning into semi-solid beams. These beams swept across the crowd, causing injury to all those it touched. I payed no mind, I kept firing until all of the Daemonettes were banished. Unfortunately, one of them managed to land a strike. I am still not used this weapon. Once all of the Daemonettes were banished, I focused on the Noise Marines. I shifted my attention to the squad of Noise Marines. I was surprised when the leader had gotten to such close proximity to me, and even more so when he activated his weapon. "FEEL THE POWER OF MY KAKOPHONI!" He screamed over the cacophony of his Kakophoni. The Necrodermis of my host's body was starting to show signs of burning. The inner workings of this body starting to fry. I managed to get in close, and struck him down with a diagonal strike. He let out a strangled cry, his neck squirting his corrupted blood over the place. "My s... soul go... goes to... Slaane-" I cut him off, shooting his head at near point black range. I turned on the others, seeing as they faltered at the fall of their leader. I showed them no mercy, crippling them before approaching them. I placed my weapon on the ground before crushing their necks, slowly. I stood back up, their blood still on my host's hands. I looked back towards the crowd, and assessed the damage. Many of them suffered heavy injury, physical and psychologically. I then left my host, allowing this one to collapse to the ground, inactive. **** "Cryptek... I managed to stop the scouting party. But I fear more will come... Continue to monitor the progress of our... subject..." "Yes, Overlord Zaeryk."
Ooh look! Fleshies!Well. It’s that time of millenia. Time to wake up. Every thousand years or so I, a Necron who took to being called Ole Neccy, wakes up to help maintain the Tomb Spyders. Why? I don’t know. When I woke up, the first thing I saw was black. Funny. I usually see black with green glow and the silhouettes of Tomb Spyders. And what I’m lying on doesn’t feel like metal. Feels like... something organic... spongy... grass? That stuff I’ve heard those funny looking humans talk about? I sit up, and look around. A lot of green stuff and some brown stuff. The green stuff was coming out of the brown stuff on somethings. I manage to stand up, getting a better view of what was around me. More organicy stuff. I think those humans called these things plants. Oh how they laughed and laughed and cried. They missed their homes. Then my curiosity got the better of me and they started to shoot me with their flashlights. So, I did what came to me first. I advanced upon them slowly, blasting them with my gauss blaster. Back to the really planty place at hand. I am very confused as to why I was here. The last thing I remember was going back to sleep after the rest of the members in my tomb. But now, I just don’t know what went wrong. I look around, searching for my flayer, which is nowhere to be seen. I allow my shoulders to sink, a thing I saw humans do when they do what I believe is called a sigh. I looked around, and heard something. Something... curious. It sounded like humans, but younger and not the ones with the junk dangling from their lower bodies. What? I’m curious. I focus in on the voices, and follow them to their source. What I saw amazed me. My gauss blaster and three little animals that were of bright, color. More importantly, they’re playing around with my blaster! Pesky little horse rodent things. “Ah wunder wut it does! Scoots?” The yellow orange thing with red on the top of her, I’m assuming it’s a her, asks the orange thing with purple, and strange things on its back. “I dunno, Apple Bloom. Maybe it’s some sort of... transpor... transper...” “Is the word you’re looking for transportation?” The white one said. I like the white one. Don’t know why, just do. Probably because it has a thing that looks like it can impale a small animal through the heart. I push the planty things apart, startling the three young whippersnappers to run away and up a tree. I walk over to my gauss blaster, and pick it up. I look over the weapon, and I feel myself smile on the inside. I love this weapon. Back to the trio of little things. I looked up at the tree they hid in, and gestured for them to some down, my hand not even on the grip of my weapon. I dropped my shoulders when i heard them bickering that I would eat them. I knew they could see me, so I tried opening my “mouth,” which didn’t work because I don’t have one. I gestured for them to come down, and to my surprise, they agreed. But quickly went back up when they heard howling and the creaking of wood. I slowly turned around, and saw large canine like creatures made of wood. Think them humies called them wolves... But these were made of wood... so are they called timber wolves? Let’s go with that. And boy, are they PISSED that I’m in their territory. The first one charged, and I made no action to move. It bit down on my right arm, and I just looked at it, my head tilted curiously. One of its eyes swiveled to look me in the face, where it peered into my cold, soulless eyes. The reaction it made was priceless, and it let go, backpedaling towards its packmates. If I could smile, I would be grinning the worst smile of all smiles, the most cruel smile, ever. Of all time. I brought my gauss blaster to bear, aiming at any of the wooden wolves. I pulled the trigger, and the green lightning like beam flew out of the barrel and collided with one of the wolves, instantly disintegrating it and sending the particles back to my gun. Silence reigned throughout our little space in the woods. Now, you may be wondering why a NECRON, a soulless heap of living metal that despises all death, is protecting three little life forms that I should be killing. I’m going to say that my programming is faulty because I have no idea either. Anyway, after the first wolf fell to my weapon, the others all looked at me. Then, they decided to charge me. Now, I managed to take out two more before the all leaped, so I had to use the blade attached on my blaster. It got wedged in the first one, allowing the others to latch onto me. While I was on the ground, for the wooden wolf that leapt at me knocked me over. Welp. I am, as the humans say, fucked. Being the ever stoic Necron I am, I pulled the trigger to my gauss blaster, and it disintegrated the wolf to my left, freeing up that arm. With that free arm, I manage to free my weapon from the wolf. Unfortunately for me, the largest of the wolves decided to bite my head, almost clean off. Which then killed me. With me out of the way, the wolves then turned to the three fleshies in the tree. Unfortunate for the fleshies and wolves, but fortunate for me. Why do I say fortunate? Because I rolled a six on my reanimation protocol, so you can just suck it! I stood up, in a rather painful looking motion, and picked up my weapon, the wolves completely unaware of what is transpiring behind them. I turn around, aim, and fire, disintegrating one wolf instantly. I repeat, another confirmed kill. Now all that remain are two wolves, the large one and a small one, which is currently lying on the ground with a cut from my blade in its chest. I focus solely on the large one, which is now charging at me. I fire without aiming, glancing it’s leg, which causes it to stumble and fall, sliding towards me now. I back up a few paces, and look down into the eyes of the beast, it clearly wanting to get this over with, wanting me to show no mercy for it. Now, I do something HIGHLY unorthodox for a Necron. I let it live. Yeah, that’s right. I step over the fallen form of the wolf to retrieve the fleshies in the tree. Someone should take a picture of me holding a hand out to those three fleshies in the tree. One of the trio pokes its head out from the green stuff, and looks at my hand curiously. It then looks at my face, and retreats back into the tree. I put my hand down, listening to them argue whether they should come down or not. But come on, I’m only a ten foot tall zombie robot with a weapon that can destroy just about anything. What harm can I do? Screw you, reader. I know what you’re thinking! Oh, but Ole Neccy, you can kill everything! Maybe even the rulers of the land which you know nothing about, myaah! The white one poked her head out from the tree and said, “Umm... Mister? Do you think you could take us... that way?” I looked in the direction it was pointing its stubby appendage, and nodded. The face of the white fleshy one expanded in a grin and retreated back into the green stuff, and emerged a short time later with the other two. “Are you going to carry us, mister?” The white one asks me. I contemplate for a little while, then nod, turning around so they can get on my shoulders and back. When I don’t feel anything, I pat my back, a motion for them to get on. I smile internally when I feel the three small things hop onto my back. I then begin walking, my weapon in my hands, to protect the three young ones. Why the hell am I doing this? I’m still going with faulty programming, or maybe something in the world is changing me... “So, uh... Weird metal thingy... what’s that thing you’re holding?” The annoying orange and magenta one asked me. That’s it! It’s magenta, not purple. I slapped a hand over my mouth, and began rubbing my hand against it. “Umm... What?” White one asked. “Hey, mister. Can you talk?” I shake my head, negative, Ghostrider. “Oh...” She said, sounding a bit.. downtrodden? Huh. After that revelation, the trip was rather quiet. The trip lasted an hour or two before I heard somethings, voices. Off in the distance, the way we’re headed, I could hear voices. Not just any voices, panicked voices. The slightly less annoying yellow on, who was on my left shoulder asked if I could speed up. So I did. The really annoying orange-ish one was on my right shoulder, looking around with wide eyes. And on my head, was the not annoying white one. The white one said shouted something which sounded, which prompted a rather refined voice to respond, equally as loud. Why were they shouting at each other? I mean, come one. I’m right here, guys. The brush parted, revealing a slightly larger white thing with purple on its head, followed by a flying blue thing with a lot of colors on its head, an orange thing with a cool hat, an annoying looking pink thing, another yellow thing with long pink stuff that was hiding behind a purple thing with purple head stuff. All of their mouthy things were wide open, in shock at seeing three small things, possibly their kin, riding a ten foot tall zombie robot. “Hi, Rarity!” Not annoying white thing said, waving. That broke them out of their stupor. What happened next surprised me, only slightly. The orange one ran up and kicked my left leg with her back appendages, while the blue one flew at my torso a high speed. Of course, being a Necron I didn’t budge, but the two that attacked me felt the pain of attacking something made of solid metal, which, at least to me, is pretty funny. Well, it was funny before the two things with horns on them tried to grab my arms with their warp powers. I’m assuming this because their horny things on the top of their heads started to glow, indicating a connection to the warp. And to their surprise, the glow around my arms started to fizzle, along with the glow around their horns. And to surprise them all, I set my weapon on the ground, got onto my hands and knees, and tilted forwards to allow the three young things off of my shoulders and head. Yet again, jaws dropped to the floor at my actions. I righted myself, and picked up my weapon, shrugging at the peculiar looks that the six are giving me. The blue one was the first to recover. It flew up to my face, shouting something at me, which I didn’t even bother listening to. Instead, I just looked straight into her eyes with my cold, soulless ones. Her rant started to falter as she noticed the bored, not caring look in my glowing eyes. As she started to back away, the purple one approached me, curiosity positively bursting from her. A scholar, I presume. I hope she is nothing like Trazyn. That Necron is annoying, what with his tendency to take ancient relics and send out copies of himself. As this scholar approached, I looked down at her. Now, I’m just going to assume that these fleshies just believe me to be a mindless automaton with little to no purpose in its seemingly immortal life. “Can you understand me?” It asks, talking slowly, almost like I’m some sort of young thing. I roll my eyes and nod my head. It makes a high pitched noise, a huge grin appearing on its face, and spews stuff about a princess and first contact with an alien race. Something like that. Before it can say anything else, a regal sounding voice shouts something, which sounds like “Twilight,” and the purple one turns around. “Princess? What are you doing here?”
More Fleshies and Talking!"Twilight, what are you doing here?" The giant, horned chicken asked medium sized purple thing. "Well, princess, we were looking for those three," Purple points to the young fleshies that I rescued, "When this alien came out of the brush, with them on its head and shoulders." "Hm. Curious. Do you know how it got here?" White chicken asked purple thing. "Uh, no princess. All we saw was a single bolt of green lightning, and that's it," Purple responded. "Hm. Alien, where are you from?" My head jerked up when I figured out that the big, white chicken was talking to me. I really don't like when beings of authority talk to me. And by talk I mean the Necron Lord I'm serving under just points at me and signals what I should do. "Um. E-excuse me p-princess. B-but he c-can't speak..." I really like the small white one, even more now that it is speaking up for me. Takes some real, as the humies say, balls to speak to speak to a person of authority without being spoken to. “Really, now?” Big ass white chicken looks at me, and is about to speak when a slightly smaller, dark blue chicken intercepts. “Yes, it seems that this beast doth not possess mouth,” The blue above average height blue chicken says, walking up to the larger chicken. And really? Beast? I’ll have you know that I am no beast! Big white chicken thing is about to speak, when an angry sounding howl fills the air. Instead, she suggests that it is best if we back out of the forest. When we left the forest, we skirted around a medium sized town. Why were we doing this? I don’t know, for I was not paying attention to what they were talking about after we heard the howl. Where we ended up seemed like another forest. Except that there was a considerable distance between each tree, and they were placed in a grid pattern. Upon closer inspection, these trees had, in addition to the green stuff, red orbs. We approached a rather large building that was painted red. Don’t know why, but I get anxious around things that are red. Maybe, just maybe, it was those pesky human flashlights that shot those beams of red at me. And I tell you, they HURT. Oh shut it. I still feel pain even though I’m made from metal. “Red... why is it always red?” Everything looked up at me. Oh shit. Did I talk? That was supposed to be a thought! Curses! Good thing I spoke in my native tongue! But I still gave away that I can talk. Okay. Here is where some things get cleared up. I am a Necron Immortal, and I think I am broken. The language these fleshies speak is similar to that which the humans use, albeit rather informal. The three things of varying annoyingness have befriended me because I saved them. The huge ass white chicken and the smaller blue chicken things have a lot of armored fleshies that are glaring at me. I don’t like the color red. I like long walks on the beach with a smoking hot Eldar. Just kidding. I hate the Eldar. Those elves were made by the Old Ones, and I hate the Old Ones. I’m the O to the L-E-N-E-C-C-Y, and ain’t no Necron be as broke as me. I’m Neccylicious. Yes. I just did that. Also, I named my gauss blaster. I named it Thor, acronym for The Hertz of Rudeness. Who the hell is the... God of Thunder? You’re crazy. Also, the large chicken thing is smaller than your truly. So with all the fleshies looking at me, I start to panic. Just a little. But I try my best to remain calm, and point to my self and mimic talking, all with my left hand. As I shrug, most eyes revert away from my. Oh, and when I said all eyes were looking at me, I lied. The not annoying white one was actually on my head. I put it on there on the walk here, making the larger white one protest. I do not know why it protested, but it did. As we entered the giant red building, I was mildly surprised. There was absolutely no red in here. Except the red fleshy thing lying on a pile of what I believe is straw. The medium sized orange one walked over to it, poked it a couple times, and said something to it. What orange said will remain a mystery because I was too busy with the three small things, who were climbing all over me. I think the medium white one passed out. I manage to suppress laughter at the medium white one. What? I may be broken, but I’m not entirely good. I mean come one. I’m a sixty million year old zombie robot who hates all life. I mean come on! I have a plan to kill—The white one is now on my weapon. If I had a heart, I’m sure it would would explode at the way she is looking at me. I push all those that are in my way out of my way, looking straight down at the white one on my weapon. I then sit down on a round looking wooden thing, and it surprisingly handles my weight. I take my left hand, pat it on the head a couple of times, and put my thumb and index finger on the center of my mouth, and simulate a smile using my two appendages on my hand. I then point to myself, and repeat the smile gesture. I am about to pet it on the head a couple more times when the huge chicken thing interrupted me by clearing its throat. “Now, that we are safe from whatever may be lurking in the Everfree Forest, I want to know how an alien, especially one that I have not seen before, managed to find its way onto this planet,” It asked me. Wait. Other aliens have came here? I pondered this for a good three seconds, my... I want to say brain, but do I even have a brain? I probably don’t have a brain. But if I don’t have a brain, how am I thinking? Anyway, whatever it is that I use to think was working hard, trying to come up with any possibilities as to why I woke up on this strange, organicy planet, and not wanting to kill everything I see. It came up with one solution: Shrug. What I believe were her eyebrows rose at my answer. The other chicken with a stabby device on its head walked up, and said something that I didn’t catch, was too busy with the small white thing. You know, I just got really bored. Was I reprogrammed with a shorter attention span as well as not wanting to destroy all organic life. Is it a specific reprogramming that applies just to this planet? Or was I completely reprogrammed? Maybe I’ll learn what’s wrong with me, maybe I won’t. The purple one tells the big white thing something that I don’t quite catch, and the white one looks outside, my gaze follows, and I spot a really big purple bubble over what looks like a city built onto a mountain. That is pretty cool. The white thing says something that I don’t catch at all, and exits, followed by the other horned chicken and a large amount of identical things, leaving four identical things and one with a spear like object on its head. The purple one walked up to them, engaging in conversation with the one wearing slightly more ornate armor. I wonder how strong their armor is. Probably not as strong as my body, or that armor those bigger humans with those weapons that shoot exploding things at us wear. I feel like I should test that sometime. Why? Because I’m a curious little Necron. Well, little isn’t the correct term to use, since I’m about ten feet tall. Oh, I love irony, don’t you, reader? I love irony! What the—Who are you? I’m Pinkie Pie! Who are you? Well, I’m Ole Neccy. Ya know, the giant metal zombie robot with the three little fleshies things on it. Oh, you mean the Crusaders! They’re nice fillies, and they seem to like you! And that means that I like you too! GASP! I have to throw you a party! Party? Uh, Pinkie Pie? Hello? You there? I guess not. Well. What just happened? Because I don’t even know. All I... felt was a noise that was pink and then we had a small conversation. And one other question: What is a party? I will ponder this later. In the meantime, the purple one disengaged its conversation with the five armored things, and walked over to your truly, while the five things went outside, to stand guard this building, I presume. The purple one walked outside, with three others, leaving the white and purple one, orange one, and what Pinkie said were the Crusaders. “Can I pleeease stay here, Rarity? Please?” Adorable white one asked the medium white one. “Yeah, sis. Can ah stay in the barn, too?” Small yellowish one asked large orangey one. “Well, if Applejack says it’s okay, Sweetie...” Medium white one responded to small white one. “Ah guess... But ah won’t like it. Ah don’t like th’ looks o’ him,” Orange one responded to the small yellow one. Both gave a cheer, while the orange and purple one was sleeping on my chest. What, I didn’t tell you that I went to lie down on a bed of hay? I must be way out of it to forget something as simple as that. Anyway, the other two ran over, and made themselves comfortable on my metal body. Heh, adorable. As my gaze came to rest on the ceiling, I started to regain a memory of sorts to about a millennia ago, when the sixty thousand Sleep was over.... “Sir, sir! The left flank reports a monolith among the ranks! We can’t hold them back any longer!” A low ranking Imperial Guard officer radios in to command, using his vox. “Earthshakers, fire on that Monolith! Basilisks and Manticores, keep up the fire. I want nothing to get past this line!” The Imperial Guard General orders his men, over the vox. “Yes sir,” Comes the reply from the man in charge of the Earthshaker platforms. Almost immediately, the area around the Necron monolith was set ablaze by the shells coming from the Earthshakers. The General allowed himself a small smile at the short amount of time it took the left flank to receive support from the Earthshakers. This smile quickly fell as he heard the screams of Guardsmen directly outside of the large control room he was in. Immediately, all of the Storm Troopers’ guns were pointed at the door, waiting. The door opened. Running into the room is an extremely bloody Guardsman, missing his right arm and helmet. He stops in front of the General and collapses, muttering something about Necrons in the base. The General orders the door to be closed and sealed. Seconds later, the door bursts open in a cloud of dust and green lightning. Everything in the room opens fire immediately, save for the General. Next, comes silence. Then, the form of a Necron Immortal enters the room, gauss blaster at the ready. This Necron is followed by four Necron Warriors.. A quick exchange of fire results in over half of the Storm Troopers and Command Staff dead, the General injured, and most of the Necrons destroyed, by means of grenades and the General’s Lightning Claws. The only surviving Necron, the necron Immortal, is lying on the ground, head on the wall. The General smiles, then gasps as the blades of a Necron Wraith find their mark, in the General’s torso. He looks down, and sees claws protruding from his chest. The Wraith lifts him into the air, and rips him in two as the Necron Immortal stands back up. Both Wraith and Immortal kill everyone inside of the Command Center, then depart. ...They were talking too much. I hate talking.
2spook (All Hallows' Eve Joke Chapter)Nightmare Night chapter. Just to show I'm not abandoning this. This has nothing to do with the actual plot of the story, folks. I'll try and have the next actual chapter out between American Thanksgiving and American Christmas. Stay healthy, my fellow zombie robot ghosts. It's been about a week since I've started living in this barn. It's been pretty swell. Sitting there, eyes unblinking, spooking those little four legged creatures that happened to enter this place. Except for a few. Like the little ones. They're young and carefree. Earlier, the nine of them: the three little ones; Purple; Butter; Apple; Marshmallow; Pink; and the one that looks like a Rainbow Warrior, cool guys, despite being worse than the Sisters at life. Anyway, the nine of them came in to the barn, and after a fright, calmed down and started to talk. I didn't hear what they were saying, but I did pick up words like "Nightmare Night" and "Giant Metal Scarecrow" and Butter whimpered something that sounded like "Too spooky for me." I like Butter. Butter is my favorite. When they finished talking, and taking a few glances at me, most of them came up to me and told me to stand up. I tilted my head in confusion, but obliged. Marshmallow pulled out a measuring device that was really primitive, and measured all around me. Its magicy stuff was working. I don't want to kill them. **** It's been a couple of days when they finished taking my measurements. Marshmallow and the others returned. It unraveled a package, and used her magic to hold it up to me. It was what the mortals called clothes. It included a hat too. I like hats. Oh! This one time, I killed one of those team-killers the humans have, and took his hat. The others in my command got a kick out of that. I think I used to be a comedian turned soldier before I was turned into a killing death robot of doom. But this hat looked as it was made of straw, or hay. But is was a hat none the less. I grabbed the hat, and placed it upon my head and sat down. They never told me to sit back down, did they? No they didn't, and yes I was standing for a few days. It's great. **** A few more days passed, and the nine minus three came back around my domain again. This time they had a bunch of other things with them. Like paints. Are we doing arts and crafts? I hope so. Oh, they also had faux spiders, bats, and other creepy crawlies. They also brought along a few devices. One of them started to produce smoke. Purple commanded me to go and lie on the hay bed. I did so. They she started to paint my skull mask, with the others helping to paint the rest of my body. So they are doing the arts and crafts, but on me. Interesting. And fun. They kept painting until Marshmallow said stop. They did. Then Purple preformed some spell on me. Oh wait, I should go into detail about what happened in the forest when they attacked me. Marshmallow and Purple couldn't use their fancy magics on me because I have the innate ability to cancel out minor magic discharges. Like telekinesis, or whatever they call it here. That's only because it is a really simple spell to cast. To be able to move me, one would need a large amount of magic powers and skill and experience and focus to be able to affect me with telekinesis. Amazing, is it not? Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Purple cast a spell on me that, if I am correct, made the paint dry faster. Nifty spell, is it not? They all stepped back to admire their work, passing smiles and giggles and praise and a couple scared whimpers at each other. Marshmallow produced the outfit that, if I am correct, Marshmallow made itself. They somehow managed to get it on me, I didn't pay attention. By now, the sun was setting, and it was turning dark. They scurried around, and set up the smoke devices. And the fake critters. And everything else they had brought with them. "Now, I want you," said Purple, talking to me, "To stand way back there, and just be frightening." I obliged Purple's command, and go stand to where she had gestured with her hoof. And I then waited. **** If my guess is correct, several hours had passed before the nine minus three returned. When they did, they were all dressed up in different costumes. They were giggling and stuff that fleshlings do. Their costumes were all, and I quote "Spooks and giggles." I honestly have no idea what they mean by that, but I simply do not have a single care. I would keep talking, but I heard many many voices coming from outside. I wonder what the voices are saying. All of a sudden, the lights in the barn went out, except for a few lights. The door opened, and a group of four, maybe fi- Ë̷̶̹̞͉́̀̿̐ͭ͌̑̈́ͮͤͣͦ̌̈ͦ̏̀͟r̮̞̮̞̦̖̞͈͕̠̹̞͕̪̞̬̠̅̓̿̉̊̌ͤ̿̑̏ͧ̀͘͢͡͝ͅŗ͒͛̋̈̉̿̌̑̅̒̅ͩ̓̃͆̑͘͏̷̪̫͖̲͇͕̩̼͓̩̞̱̝ȯ̡̰͓͔̫͔̘̬̫̝̬͓̭͔ͫ͂̉̉̇̃ͩ̂ͮ̋͞r̢̼͉̗̙͓̠̣̻̻͙͍͕̼̦̓͐̓ͨ̍ͩ͢.̡̍̃ͩͩ͆ͫ̈ͨ̄ͩ̏̾͌̑̊͢͠҉̧̙̪̤͇̤ ̵̛͕͎͓̖͓̟̻̣̹̯͎̗͎ͯ͌͊̔̉͐ͬͪ̂̊̇̿͢͠͝ͅͅẄͤͬ̑̎ͫ̍̆ͩ̏̔̿ͨ̒ͨ̃ͤ̊͏̷̸͙̞̖̰͈͖̣̰̳͙̫̙͖͡a͔̹̦͓̟̲͇͇̱̟̹̻̫̫͎̮̞̅ͪ̋̉ͤ̕͡ṛ̶̵̗͖̱̣̞̮̲̮̟̩͇͈͗̒̽͗̈́͢͟͝p̧͕͎̼̭̱̠̙͕̗̘̻̼͓̱̭̑̇̑̄̌̆ͦ̌ͧ̂̔ͥ̾̀͢ ̛͙͇̯̗͍͖̹̫̥͓̭̠̩͇̻͔͎̗̳̄͌͗͐ͤͭ̾̓ͫ͗ͯ͊͆̀̈́ͪ́̅̍́͜͠͞s̡͐ͬ̓̊͒ͣ̂̆ͬ̆̕͝҉̠͓̙͉̞͍̘̻̻̰̯̥i̧̮̣͔̯̬̥̘̥͈̣̯̜̬͈͈͔͓ͥͧ̍̅͋̈́̐͜g̴̷̢͙̤̻̤̯̍͛͗͋́̾ͩ̋͐̃̐͌̇̉ͬ̓ͯ͌̚͘͟n̡̔̌ͣ̊ͦ̆̋̽ͣ̈́ͭ͋͏͇͓̜͈̲̰̞̻̠̯͇͞ą͇̹̩͕͇̭͓̩͈̦̘͇̥̪ͣͩ̽ͮͭ̍͂̔͐̇ͥ͆́̚̚ṫ͕̦̱̝͓̭͎̠͓̹̅ͦ̋ͯ͌̒ͮ̉ͤ͆́͜͞ͅu̶͇͕̞̫͔̤̻̤̗̼͙̝̻̖̼̟̥̻͑́͐̔̋ͪ̌̈ͫ͆̓̍ͨ̿̀̏̀̄͂̀͟͜r̷̷̮̹͎͉̟̤̱͓̤͉̤͓̥̊ͨ̊̎ͦ͐͑̑̆͡e̵̷̢͎̙͇͈̫̩̞̠̩͍͕̹̐ͬ̌ͣͣ̀̏ͣ͡͡ ̶̩̦͕̻̱̊̍̎̚̚͡dͯ͌ͤ̍ͮ͑̎ͦͫͪ̆̽ͨͣ͋̐̚̚͏̷͙̱̲̮͉̞͍͎́͢͜eͤͭ̓̆̀̎̔̎̍ͯ̾̕͞͞҉͖̻͖̝̯̰̟̩̗͖͓̳̙̟̤͜ṫ̶̛̪̱̮̘̬̜̜̰ͮ͋͑͑ͯ̀̍ͫ̏ͣ͂̍̕͠e̸͚̩͚͔̜͍̯͇̠̙̯̲̭̯̟̫̩ͤͮ͒́̈́ͥ̾͌̂ͪͣ̃̍̅́́͡ç̖͈͚̺̘̪̖̭ͬͫ̀̽̽̃ͭ̈ͣ̿ͧ̽̏̑̃͊̆́̚̚͝͠ͅt̵̂̈́̓҉̸̖͈͉̫̺̜͈͚̰̲̖̹̩͍͓̭̰ę̵̮̤͓̬̟͔̣͍͕͉̻͕͎̺͎͚̗̞͗̿̄ͣ̂̎̊ͭ̒ͮͦ̌ͮ̐͆̿̉͘͟͝ͅḑ̳̳̲̱̜̟̟͆ͤ͋̍̃ͮ̃͠.̌̑ͨ̐ͣ̄͛̈́͋̐́̆͗ͤͣ͒͐͌́͏̵̢̰͇͓̪͚̞̜̟͓̭͎̞̟̻̭͉̟̟̬ ̸̵̧̝͉̣̹͂ͣ̃ͧͣ́͟T̸ͮ͋́ͤ̂ͨ̕͏͕̰̫͔̟͇ḩ̶̶̠̘͍͓̝͈̜͍̝̣̭̻̥̥̞̬̭̄̾̇ͪ̎͗͂ͥ͌̊̑̀̋͐͌̀̆̅̀ͅi̡̩̝̲͍̯̯̝̫͉͙̾̊̂͆̓̍ͧ͂͑ͪͬ͟ͅs̪͔͙̯̝̜̥͇̜̦͉̖̩̿͛ͤͭͯ̈́̏ͦ͌̽ͯ̋ͯ́̈́́̚͜͠ ̢̃͒̂ͩ̈́̊̊̌҉҉͉̱̮͚̬̲U̵̧̱̱͚̳͖̲ͣ̄̓̾̐̂ͦ͂̀n̐͛̔͜҉̻̱̻̹͕͔͈̠̮̦͈͟i̵̧͖̮̖̲̮̼̜̠̩̗̙̓̃͐͗ͧt̲͓̻̭̯̙̻̻̣͈ͦ͗͊̃̿ͩͦ͆ͤ͊͛͊ͬ̎̃̈͘ ͌͆̿̈̈́͏̢̺̙͉̙͍̮̮͡i̐̂ͮ̈́ͯ̋̋̂̉̓̌̓ͦ͋͒̚͝҉̬͔͍̜̤͚͔͚̣̞̖̹̰̯̤s͉͖̮̣̩̮͔͉͈͓̲ͤͮͦ̃ͪ̌̂͆ͭͧ̚͢͝ ̷̨̛̬̮̮̮̥͕̫̜̪̟̪̺̪̯ͨ̈̈́̇̓͋͐͌̋̉͗̓̓ͨ̈́ͯ͛́̚͡ͅnͣ͒͋ͫͮ͐̄̄͏̦̲̫̗̞͉o̬̲̰͎͕̭̫̩̖̹̺̳͚̝͍͚̯̺̦̎̈́͊ͩ͘w̷̛̫̭͕͙ͦ̎̄ͭ̀ͤ̓ͭ͜ ̢̧̜̱̰̹͈̙̹̽ͩ͋ͤ̽ͬ̚͟͡u̖̪̞̳̫͔͍͖̝̖̞̯ͯͬͩ̍ͧ̏̿̅͆ͥͪ͘͘n̶̷̬̞̱̥͚̩̫͙͍̰̰̹̻͖̫̰̏ͭ̌̿̆͋̍̈͆̍̾̚̕͟͡d̶͙̬͔̙̲̳̬́̇̏̑́ͤ͛́̃̍̕͜͡ę̫͙͙̭͙̹̟̼̜ͨ̽̓̎ͤ́͝͞r̶̺͇̪̳̲̮͕͎̬̣͔̰̝̣̝͇̥ͣͧͯ̋͛̾͒́͒̚͜ ͥ̔̍̓҉͕̜͇̻̥̹̰̣̗̤̤̯͔̤̬̲͓͞͡c̛̦̦̙͓̳̯ͣͮ͌ͭͫ̎̾̂̒̍ͅö̶͓̪͉̟̱̥̠͖́ͭ͐̄̊ͯ̾̍͌̂̈̂ͪͥ̋̓̚̚͟ͅn͙͚̪̘̹̳̼̹̄̈̔͐͑̃͑͒ͦ̏̋̾ͣ̀̎ͧ͞ͅt̷̢̢̺̫̱̰͉̺̳̳͚̻̹̒͐̾͆̉͑̀͗̓͐ͨ̽̿ͯ̊͐̋̚͞rͭ̈́̐̇̍̓ͯ̿́́҉̶̸̸̦̭̫̫͕͙͇͔͕͇̙̘̰̣o̴̢̞̹͓̞̦͓̻̙̦̘ͫ̈́ͣ̓ͧ̃͌̔̍̍͊̚͜͟ľ̸̝̪̺̩̱̱̗ͨ͂ͤ̏̍ͪͫ̈́̎̓̄̂̊̂ͣͮ̚͠ͅͅ ̶̡̢̪͔̥̰̤̞̟̭̪̯͍͛ͩ̈́͒͂̃͛̃̉͞ͅơ̡͍̪͙͖̖̘̞͎̹̙̳͌̓̀͑ͧͫ͟͝f̷̡̰̮̮̮͙̤͉͇̣͇̩̬̮̜͉̥ͯͣ̌̌̿̄ͭ̏̇ͬ̇̆̈ͮͬ̽̊ͨ́̚̕͞ ̸̿̓ͥ̂̓̈̅̚͏҉̙̫͓̙̤̦̻̙̗̬̭Õ̿̆͌ͮͬͣ̈́ͩ̊͘͏̸̯͇̬̖̕v̘̰͕̖̖̱̰͓̟͂̓͆͐̐̅͐̎ͮ͆̿̆̑̂̀͡͞ë̷́ͪ̓͒̄̓̏̎̒́͏̨̰̯̯͇͘r̷̵̞͎̗̥̫̖̖̙̝̝͉̪̈͑ͤ̉ͭ͛l̴̨̳̭̼͇̫͕̖͇̙̬͐̓̐̃ͪͩ̽̆̐͋ͨ̉̎ͩ͌͑o͔͉̮͔̞͉ͭ̈́͒̒̆͑ͫ͛͊͌͆ͥ͡͞r̢̛͍͙͎͈͕̤̙̫̩͇͙̦̠̗̲̃̌ͫ̇͛̄͊͝d̵̢̿̅ͣ̐͑̾̓ͯ̈́̈̊ͪ͌͢͞͏̟͔̤̩̯̗̗̘̝̻ ̷̶̪̻͖͖̩̿̾̾ͦ̄̓̌ͩͥͧ̕Z̵̪̖̬̙̤̥̥̲̞̹̠̫̳̘͖̱̗̰̊͊͐̓͊͑̎ͭ̃̽̾ͩ̑̚̕͝a͗͒̔̃ͭ̅ͥ̑͑҉̶̶̢̧͈̫̩̠̳̻̹͖̮̯̫̱̖̞̠͍͖̣̻e̲̗̰͉ͣ̄͊͋ͯ̇͗͒̃͂̈́̀͜r̿͑̎̍̍̈́́͋͛ͫͭͨ͗ͤ̿̂̚͏̛͓̺̝̜̗̠̙̲́ẏ̜͔͉̻͚̟͈͇͇̮̬̦̖̫ͮ̾̂͋ͮ́́͜ḱ͔̰͓̣̝̖̜͍̪̺͙ͨͦ͆ͮ̾̿͋ͤ̐̃ͦ͛̓̀͡ Interesting body. It seems that it does not feel like fighting these fleshy creatures. No matter. My mission must continue. I walked my host forwards, surprising everything in the room. I grabbed my host's weapon, a well crafted gauss blaster. I exited the building, scaring the mortals. Right as I exited the building, a warp portal opened up. Out came a Noise Marine squad, accompanied by several Daemonettes. I raised my weapon, and moved my stance to one more fit for defense. The leading Noise Marine noticed me. "WHAT IS THIS? LIVING CREATURES IN SUCH CLOSE PROXIMITY OF A NECRON? HA. BROTHERS, LET US KILL THIS FIEND!" I hate Noise Marines. They are very loud. The other Noise Marines shouted, and activated their Doom Sirens, bringing their Sonic Blasters to bear. Mostly on the crowd. The leader was wielding a strange weapon, what looked like a fusion of human and a different type of alien technology. They opened fire upon me. The sound that their weapons produced was almost deafening. If it affected me. I pulled the trigger on my weapons, striking one of the charging Daemonettes in the face, banishing it immediately. I kept the fire on them, the streams of sound turning into semi-solid beams. These beams swept across the crowd, causing injury to all those it touched. I payed no mind, I kept firing until all of the Daemonettes were banished. Unfortunately, one of them managed to land a strike. I am still not used this weapon. Once all of the Daemonettes were banished, I focused on the Noise Marines. I shifted my attention to the squad of Noise Marines. I was surprised when the leader had gotten to such close proximity to me, and even more so when he activated his weapon. "FEEL THE POWER OF MY KAKOPHONI!" He screamed over the cacophony of his Kakophoni. The Necrodermis of my host's body was starting to show signs of burning. The inner workings of this body starting to fry. I managed to get in close, and struck him down with a diagonal strike. He let out a strangled cry, his neck squirting his corrupted blood over the place. "My s... soul go... goes to... Slaane-" I cut him off, shooting his head at near point black range. I turned on the others, seeing as they faltered at the fall of their leader. I showed them no mercy, crippling them before approaching them. I placed my weapon on the ground before crushing their necks, slowly. I stood back up, their blood still on my host's hands. I looked back towards the crowd, and assessed the damage. Many of them suffered heavy injury, physical and psychologically. I then left my host, allowing this one to collapse to the ground, inactive. **** "Cryptek... I managed to stop the scouting party. But I fear more will come... Continue to monitor the progress of our... subject..." "Yes, Overlord Zaeryk."
