STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA

by Alicorne

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Princess Luna, Original Character, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 375706

In the Prism Universe of the 23rd Century the New Ponies take on the Final Frontier...

In the 23rd Century A.D. , (After Departure) four years after the Roamulan War, Commander Starry-Eyes rejoins her ship on Starfleets first voyage of exploration since the War. It has been twenty-two hundred years since the Princesses left Equestria to let Their Little Ponies fulfill their potentials on their own. Ponykind has stumbled on as best they could, learning hard lessons along the way. The Eugenics Wars are over and they have made Friends in the darkness. Now the Stars beckon and Ponies essay the Final Frontier looking for answers... or at least a pair of beloved faces they haven't seen for so, so long...

Published 2013-04-16 00:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2017-03-07 17:50:01 UTC

Chapter Two Filly Fashion Follies

EPISODE TWO

FILLY FASHION FOLLIES

While we sat and talked I slipped the mangled remains of my sweater over my head and off my arms. Oddly enough, it reduced the number of curious looks quite a bit…but I wasn’t about to shuck my slacks. I have my limits! I walked the remains over to a recycling station and dropped them it and let the mechanism sort and process it into reusable format for later reclamation. I walked away quickly so I didn’t have to listen to the last link I had with Home get chopped into bits.

When I examined what Solar had got me to wear my first impulse was to march back and chuck it in, too!

The purple thing she had draped over one arm turned out to be a graphic T-shirt bearing, instead of a picture, the words, “The 2 Best Things About Rodeodondo Beach!” …I fixed Solar with a glare and she simply shrugged.

“There wasna much choice in this size, I’m afraid. Th’ only other one said, ‘Rodeodondo Beach, Home o’ th’ Big Ones’ and came in an absolutely horrid day-glow pink that would have made ye look like a great wad of bubble gum.” She said, then moved around behind me and help me cram the thing over me head and tug it down.

“As opposed to an eggplant?” I wondered aloud as I forced my head through the neck. It was a snug fit and I was already having misgivings .

“What size is this, anyhow?”

“Five-X. They wilnae hae anything bigger in stock till the beginning’ o’ th’ week.” Solar’s accent thickens when she’s distracted, I noticed. She gave the back of the thing another tug in an effort to take up any amount of slack that was left. I did the same to the front and we surveyed the results…

“Just for th’ sake o’ morbid curiosity, “ She asked, eyeing me rather wistfully. “What size o’ bra do ye take?” She arranged herself alongside me standing in profile.

I’d done more blushing that day than I did during my Starfleet Medical exams! “Well…in a low gravity environment like Earth I generally don’t bother with one. But when I do, I’m an F-cup.” I shrugged apologetically.

Alice sighed. “Well of course ye’ are! ’Tis th’ wonder of th’ world that I must be th’ only Alicorn lass who doesna need one. Och, well.” She sighed again and went back to trying to make my garment presentable.

As a shirt it was a failure. The best thing that could be said of it was that it was breast camouflage…as long as I didn’t raise my arms above my heart! The sleeves were a lot tighter than I would have liked and the neck gave me the feeling that something was just waiting for me to drop my guard before it squeezed. If I took too deep of breath I was sure it would come apart at the seams!

Solar rubbed the end of her muzzle with a hoof, obviously stifling an attack of the giggles as she circled around, taking in the sights.

“Oh, I dunno… It has a certain appeal. ‘Tis verra flatterin’ t’ yer figger, t’ be sure!” She tittered. I would have crossed my arms, but I would have been back to square one if I did so I just gave her a severe glare.

“It’s NOT funny…but is it enough to let me go out in public. What are the indecent exposure laws like out here? Back home they’d run me in wearing an outfit like this!” I squirmed a little and tried to run a finger around my too-tight collar. At which point Solar did a rather startling thing. She came around front and tsked at the lack of neck room I had. She reached up and took hold of the collar then, with a quick flick of her head, she cut the fabric with the tip of her horn! It happened so quick that I blinked! The bangle on her horn glittered in the light and, zip, I wasn’t being strangled any more and I found myself in possession of a moderately plunging neckline!

She stepped back and admired her handiwork and nodded, pleased. She waved a dismissive hoof. “Sure an’ ye’ll do just fine. Myself, on th’ other hoof, had best get dressed if we’re going t’ find ye summat better, doncha know. Come along right over here and I won’t be a tick!”

On the far side of the concession stands, at the entrance to the beach, were a set of square lockers like a wall of plastic boxes underneath an awning. Each one had a rather quaint combination lock on it and there were backless benches arranged in front of them. They looked pretty sturdy and I cautiously eased myself onto one and watched while Solar dialed a locker open. A lot of Ponies were there getting ready to venture out on or returning from the beach and I sat as primly as I could and tried not to gawk. Keeping my eyes on Solar was the politest thing I could think of doing…and was enjoyable, to boot!

Solar was an old hoof at this, I could see at once! She exchanged a few pleasantries with the Ponies around her as she withdrew a pair of lacy lavender undies that didn’t seem to serve any purpose other than to make her look even more beautiful. She balanced delicately on one hoof then the other as she stepped into them. (Seeing the tip of her tongue sticking out of the side of her muzzle while she concentrated on balancing was one of the cutest things I’ve seen in my life!) Reaching behind, she guided her tail through the opening. She grinned and waved her tail at me before bringing out a short skirt patterned in pale yellow and white stripes. She wriggled into it and repeated the tail waving process before she brought out short-sleeved blouse of white, almost shimmering material so light that it looked as if it would blow away on the slightest breeze. I wasn’t surprised that Solar would wear silk, it suited her. Lastly she withdrew a handbag and a pair of very pretty yellow shoes to put on her dainty hooves. She sat next to me and took her sandals off, knocking the sand off them before stowing them in her bag. She brushed her hooves off and slipped her shoes on, combing out her feathered ankles with her fingers. There were a few full-length mirrors here and there, but there were Ponies clustered around each of them. Instead, she took a brush and what I thought was a rather large, flat compact out of her bag. When she opened it, however, there was a shimmer in the air above it. The telltale sign of a holographic projection! I craned my head to take a closer look. I’d heard of the things before. A holographic ‘mirror’ that scanned what was in front of it and broadcast an image back in the same direction at whatever scale the user set. Solar had in effect, a wall mirror she carried around in her purse. A nifty thing to have and it only confirmed my growing suspicion that Solar was comfortably well-to-do. This casual reminder of wealth gave me a start as my current situation reasserted itself!

“Oh, crap!” I observed in a brilliant display of verbal acuity.

Solar paused in the act of touching up her mane and frowned into her reflection, turning her head this way and that. “…I admit that I’ m a wee bit worse for wear after bein’ out in th’ wind but I wouldna go so far as t’ say I look like ‘crap’! We have got to work on yer vocabulary, an’ you bein’ in Starfleet an’ all! Tsk, tsk!”

I gave her a small shove that made her giggle. “I’m serious! What with all that’s gone on, it just dawned on me that all my credits are running around loose on the streets. Right now I can’t even pay you back for the ice cream let alone this, uh, shirt… much less get a new wardrobe!”

“Oh, fiffle!” Solar, I would come to find out, never uses anything even remotely like bad language. (How can you NOT love someone like that?) “Ye mustn’t worry yourself on that account, Starry my Dear! It’s glad I am to do it. Ye’d do th’ same if I were in th’ same straits, would ye not?”

“Well, of course I would!”

“There ye are, then!”

“But….” I’ve been in combat , successfully argued down superior Officers , and even broken up arguing Tellarites! Yet I found myself stammering, looking into Solar’s lavender eyes! “But I just hate being a, a parasite! I feel like I’m taking advantage of…your good nature.” I concluded rather lamely.

“Oh Starry, Starry, Starry!” She chuckled, “I’m a big filly…no nearly as big as yerself, mind, (I quirked an eyebrow at her at that statement, and she just smiled that radiant smile of hers! I‘ve taken a lot of guff in the Star Service because of my size, usually only once per offender. Why is it so many Ponies equate being Big with being Fat??) (And she called me Starry! Squee!!) but big enough to have been around th’ block a few times. I do what I do because I’m able to do it and I want to do it. Let me worry about how I spend me money.” She patted my knee companionably. “But yer a Dear to worry!” She stretched up and gave me a peck on the cheek, causing me to cave in instantly! The Starfleet Diplomatic Corps should really be told about Alicorns!

Solar stood and brushed at her skirt. Putting her grooming kit back she picked up one of my hands and gave a tug.

“Come along now and we’ll get you kitted out, up ye get! Hup, hup, one-two, one two, march!”

I don’t remember much about that first shopping trip. Solar wanted to take me to a ‘Reputable Fashion Designer’ and it took all the persuasive power I could muster to steer her toward a regular retail store. My dismay only deepened once I got a look at the prices! (How can anypony afford to live on Earth!?) At least the place stocked clothing in my size…

The closest thing we had to a fight was when Solar wanted to deck me out in a skirt!

“No skirts!” I literally put my hoof down, causing the salespony (A nice enough Filly with a curly green mane and a yellow coat, as I recall.) to tactfully find something else to do nearby.

“Why ever not?” Asked Solar who had come by with an armful of them for me to try on.

“Because,” I lowered my voice self-consciously, “My legs are bloody huge! I’d look hideous! I haven’t worn a skirt since I was a teenager. Let ‘em look at your legs, instead! They’re a lot prettier.” I added, diplomatically. Fortunately, Alicorns are more than a little vain and Solar, mollified, let the matter drop. Then she suggested something called ‘Capris’…that I rejected as soon as I saw them. The things some Ponies will wear!

Solar frankly balked at my choice of lingerie, though.

“Oh, Starry!”

“What?! It’s underwear!”

“It’s about as feminine as a hazmat suit! Ye could at least pick another color than just white!

“Oh, come on! It’s not like anypony’s gonna see them.”

“Just look at these. Please? I wonder if there is a Victoria’s Secret nearby….?” She brought out her comm and started searching the local ‘Net.

I reluctantly began checking out Solar’s idea of underwear. “…You have a real predilection for lace, don’t you? And little bows, for goodness sake!? What keeps these things on, anyway? There isn’t enough fabric here to make them worth the effort…”
“Starry! Please…trust me?” She melted me with those lavender eyes and I bowed to the inevitable and let her pick me out an assortment.

In the end I had four full bags of the most feminine clothing I’d ever worn. Solar, who simply loved shopping, managed to get a bag full for herself. I eventually had to admit that I was pleased with it. Growing up in a mining colony and then Starfleet I had never bothered being a Filly or a Mare. I began my adult life as a miner back on Equestris. First metals, then gems. After a while I found I had a knack for physics. Eventually, after years of simultaneously working and studying, I became a Scientist. I became an Astrophysicist specializing in Cosmology…at least until the War came around. And, not to put too fine a point on it, the only two things most Ponies outside a Lab cared about me are mounted high on my chest. The whole idea of Romance never mattered outside of the occasional dalliance, (One-sided affairs, you’ll excuse the pun, that ended as soon as the Stallion got what he wanted.) that is. …Until Solar. Solar actually made me want to be a Filly, no, an adult Mare. She wasn’t interested in some flighty here today gone tomorrow fling with some giggling adolescent . I owed Solar so many things that day, but that was the thing, I supposed, I owed her most. How could you not love someone like that?

Chapter One- Welcome to Earth!

[center]STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA

PRISM, PRISM

EPISODE ONE

WELCOME TO EARTH!

Important things in our lives occur in threes, according to Sunny, that is. And the story of how Sunny came into my life is integral to the tale. That being said…

That first event was my arrival on Earth. It was June 15, 2217 a.k.a. Stardate 1001.17. The Romulan War had been over for two years then and I had re-enlisted in Starfleet for the second time.

I spent the War on a variety of ships, the last one being the first of Starfleet’s new Scout Class ships, the Hermes. I was an Ensign when I’d come aboard now I was a brand-new Commander. Not bad for a young Mare from a Colony!

After the War Starfleet was getting back into the exploration business. To that end, a whole new class of ships had been designed. Heavy Cruisers able to go out beyond the Frontiers for five years at a stretch. Glorious vessels with awesome capabilities made to carry on the mandates that make the Federation great. But those ships were years away, just designs on the drawing boards back then. To tide the Federation over in the meantime some older ships were being refitted and reassigned to the Galaxy Exploration Command. The Patton and Marshall class ships were purely warships. It just wasn’t possible to rig them for deep-space exploration. Hermes was one of the first ships built using the advancements developed during the War, utilizing the radical new disk-and-nacelle design that worked so well that it promised to be the new standard for Starship construction for years to come. It had been in Refit for over a year and was ready to launch. …And I was to be its new Science Officer! I was going to be part of a new era in Starfleet. I was twenty-four Equestrin years old then and the Galaxy beckoned.

I’d been stationed at the Starfleet Facility at Ghooran Base in Tellarite Space since the War, soaking up the advances in sensor technology that were to be applied to the refitted ship when I received my orders to go to Earth to join my ship. Re-join would be a more accurate term since I’d spent the last four years of the War on that very vessel. I was looking forward to coming back.

I mentioned that I come from a Colony World. More specifically, I come from a world called Equestris circling a star called Nova Celestia by my ancestors, also known as 54 Draconis, 64 light-years from the world of my ancestors. Compared to Earth, it’s a warmer, rockier place. Nearly 75% larger with 1.8 times the gravity it would be labeled only marginally habitable by anyone else, it was all the Colonists had to work with and they tried hard to make a home of it. In the end, they succeeded but paid a heavy price at the hands of unscrupulous raiders, unfriendly neighbors, and the world itself. But they had an advantage most others in their position didn’t…they were Genetic Augments.

They left Earth in 1991 as part of the Terra Colonization Initiative, less than a year before the Eugenics War devastated the world. Their designation was ‘Terra 3’, but they called their ship The Rose. Three hundred and seventy-six assorted Ponies, most of whom were in cryonic suspension, left with seeds, frozen ovum, and templates for all they would need to start life anew in a deep-space vessel outfitted with an advanced third-generation Fusion Drive.

All the Colonists, of course, were, by the standards of the day, genetic ‘superponies’. Not megalomaniacs, not tyrants, not arrogant conquerors, just Ponies who wanted to prove that Augmentation was a viable option, that Magic wasn‘t necessary to make Ponies worthwhile. To that end, they left Earth with two goals in mind. To life their lives as they saw fit, and to make sure something of Earth would survive the cataclysm they saw coming. That is all I will say on the subject. I have no philosophical axe to grind and I definitely do NOT endorse the views of Khan, Green, Thorson, and the rest of those ponicidal maniacs who tried to set their hooves on the neck of an unwilling world. I am what I am, the children of Ponies who did what they could to ensure their children would survive and thrive on a hostile world.

The upshot of all this was that I wouldn’t be confused with the natives! I stand a scooch over eight-and-one quarter feet tall (The Colonists, for reasons of their own, decided to retain the English units of measurement!) and mass more than four hundred and eighty pounds. My ancestors were Earth Ponies and I retain the large hooves and solid build of the Equines who were the backbone of Civilization on the Old Home Sod. My genetic template retains the same golden-brown fur and the ‘feathering’ on my wrists and ankles is pale blonde. The end of my muzzle is white, as is the patch over my right eye. (Daddy always called me ’Blinky’…usually in public and if front of my friends!) My mane is very thick and is an atypically black color. (Genetic Augmentation doesn’t dictate every aspect of our physiognomy! We‘d never be able to breed at all otherwise!) My eyes set me farther apart from Terran Standard, being a pale hazel-green and are one of my best features as far as I’m concerned. Augmentation boosted my musculature, skeletal system, and the density of my skin as well as my immune system. Compared to most Ponies on Earth, I’m thick, I’m strong, I have a deep voice, I spend a few hours per day on a grav plate doing calisthenics, and I don’t float in water but I am NOT an ‘alien’!

That being said…

I came to Earth via the Equestria Space Elevator with all my worldly goods in a shoulder bag, wearing a baggy sweater made back on Equestris that went a long way toward concealing my more prominent attributes and a comfy pair of black slacks and set forth with stars in my eyes to do just a little sightseeing before I had to report to the Ship.

For that time of year the weather was described as ‘warm’, bur I was glad I was wearing that sweater besides, having it around me was comforting. The weave was dense enough that it kept out most of the lower-than-Equestris temperatures so I blew off my discomfort and set off to do Tourist things.

I was collecting quite a few stares from the Ponies around me because of the way I filled that sweater. (A generous bosom is a desirable Augmentation on any world, it seems!) I pretended not to notice as I consulted the local ‘Net for interesting places to see. I settled on a place called ‘Rodeodondo Beach’ NOT because I had any desire to swim (We confine ourselves to splashing in the shallows back home!) but, rather, on the theory that it would be warmer by the beach. I bought a not too garish pair of sunglasses against Sol’s brighter glare from a kiosk at the Downport (The Highport being the Space end of the Elevator.) and caught a Transit Car to the beach.

It was just a long enough walk from the Terminal to the boardwalk to make me thirsty and I had just purchased the biggest cup of something called ‘Coke Cubed’ (Advertised as ’The 3rd time’s the charm!’) I could get and was forming a favorable opinion of the stuff when it happened…

I wanted to sit in the shade but the chairs under the umbrellas didn’t have a hope in Romulus of holding me intact so I opted, instead to sit in the grass. I set my bag down behind me and relaxed to do some pony-watching. I took in the too-blue sky, the too-cool Sun, the children visiting the snack stand, and sniffed the strange saline tang in the air. One can’t be in Starfleet and not be just a touch xenophilic! All at once, I felt my shoulder bag stir. Suddenly, it was gone! I heard rapidly retreating hoofsteps…

Twisting around, I saw a young Pony with an orange coat and a yellow mane charging away with all my possessions clutched in his hooves. He galloped into and around the Ponies nearby and was out of sight in a second!

Starfleet training had honed my already Augmented reflexes and I surged to my hooves in just a fraction of a second. I fully intended to set off in pursuit but Earth’s lower gravity screwed me over. Instead of getting up and running, I ended up leaping straight up into the air about a yard. My running hooves hit only empty air and I lost a precious two seconds or so sprawling on the ground in an inelegant maneuver called, in non-technical parlance, a ‘face plant’.

I regained my footing if not my composure and, with cola and chlorophyll all over me and charged off in pursuit. My impromptu aerial surveillance gave me a brief glimpse of my target. I could see him making his way to the street on the other side of the little park.

“Come back here, you, you Rat! Hey! I’m talking to you!” I bellowed with all the lungpower I could muster. I got a brief impression of startled Ponies turning to look as I lumbered off in pursuit at full Impulse. I didn’t really expect him to stop and look but it was worth a try to get him to at least slow down. He did take a quick look behind him, though. The sight of a giant, angry Mare From Another World must’ve made an impression on him, judging by the way his eyes widened. … Unfortunately, the only thing I accomplished was to encourage him to run faster, damn it!

None of us on Equestris are sprinters (By Earth standards, anyway.) but, once we get going, we can gallop with the best of them! He knew the terrain and I was being extra-careful not to plow innocent bystanders under so it was a pretty even race, all things taken into consideration. Whenever I had the running room, I was gaining a frightening (From his point of view!) amount of distance on him with my longer legs so it was only reasonable that he chose to duck into an alley between buildings. I rounded the same corner just a second or so behind him and caromed off the far side, collecting the first of a growing assortment of bruises and scratches that I planned to take out of his hide, and closed in with murder in my eyes and choice Tellarite cusswords on my breath!

He led me a merry chase, taking every corner he could and leading me into ever-narrowing alleys whenever possible. I was hopelessly lost after the first two turnoffs and I managed to stay just out of reach. I couldn’t touch him with my hooves but I did my level best to strangle him with my words.(Daddy always said that I have an awful temper once I’m provoked. …All those years of being called ’Blinky’, no doubt.) I frankly called him every dirty name in the lexicons of Equestris, Tellar, and the Federation Military with all the sincerity of a Vulcan Diplomat. I threatened the little thief with Jail, Romulan torture techniques, and a good old-fashioned bucking so bad his Granpa would feel it! I don’t believe it was just emotionally satisfying on my part. The look of panic in those eyes whenever he glanced back made it clear that he well and truly believed his life as a thief was coming to a swift and messy end could I just lay one hoof on him!

I really thought I had him when the chase led us into a dead end in a narrow alley sealed off by an old fence made of actual wood that was probably natty and neat looking back in the days of Archer. I suppose I had a carnivore’s feral grin on my face as I thundered in. I was already taking up most of the room in the alley. The only way out was either straight up or through me and he was no Pegasus.

I was just beginning to slow down just a smidge so I didn’t just pulp him on impact like a rogue asteroid when I noticed he wasn’t slowing down at all! With swift Equestrin justice just yards away, he skidded to a halt and yanked furiously on the bottom of the fence with desperate urgency. The sagging boards lifted and he darted through the opening! DAMN it!!!!!

I picked up the pace, put my shoulder down and went through that fence like the Romulans went through Starbase One!

I suppose there was a resounding crash but I never heard it, I was too occupied with my panic as I ended up in empty air, tumbling and rolling like an out of control drone. I do remember collecting a number of scratches and slivers when I hit and rolled, though. I remember that the ground felt almost soft and rather damp. I picked myself up and realized I was sprawled in sand! I was in the shade (Earth was conspiring to keep me cold!) though there was abundant sunlight on either side of me. There was some sort of roof over my head being held up by large wooden pilings that led down…to…the…water! I was underneath a pier! From the salt smell, I knew that I was just a few dozen yards from the Pacific Ocean. I was at the beach! The water lapped and gurgled softly to itself, alien in its limpid blueness and intrinsically frightening. Instinctively, I plowed to a halt. On Equestris, nasty things live in the sea! Stinging jellyfishes, parasites, toxic algae, and assorted, bad-tempered little fish with big appetites for Augment meat make every Equestrin avoid the sea like Discord!

The little so-and-so had opened up quite a lead on me, having sped through the shallows. As I watched, he splashed his way through a foot-and-a-half of water until he’d cleared the rocks under the pier and ducked behind them, presumably back toward the shore. I pushed off once again, my hooves slipping a little in the pulverized rock. I noticed there was a slight tugging sensation as I started moving. I had snagged my damn sweater! Oh was he gonna GET it! Running in sand took a lot more concentration than charging along a surfaced street, running through the sea being merely an exercise in panic, and I lost more irreplaceable seconds slogging my way up to where he made his turn. I made my way into the open and plowed to a halt yet again, pausing to shade my eyes (I lost my sunglasses going through that bloody fence!) and looking around. Two things caught my attention. Firstly that my thief was speeding his way up and away from the water and, secondly, that there were lots of Ponies in the vicinity…and they were naked!

If the thief had intended this as a distraction, he couldn’t have done much better. (I haven’t seen so many Cutie Marks since Basic Training!) I, grudgingly, had to hand it to him. We aren’t exactly prudes on Equestris but public nudity isn’t something we go in for. I gaped, and was gaped at, for a few more seconds before I returned to the chase.

Dry sand was even more tedious than the damp variety. Even so, I worked my way up the beach in short order…just in time to see the little recreant make his way through a steady stream of fully clothed beachgoers on their way back toward the city. I locked on to the exit and was just about to reacquire my quarry a Stallion in the outfit of the local Police barred my way.

“Hold on, Lady! Where do you think you’re going?”

I couldn’t very well just knock him over and chase down the culprit; I am a member of Starfleet, after all! It wasn’t as if I couldn’t have taken him in a straight fight, either. I had a good two feet and about three hundred pounds on him, besides, he didn’t seem to be armed… but I didn’t want to spend my Shore Leave in a Prison Cell, either! Time to break out the diplomacy…

“Please, Officer! I’ve been robbed. That, that…rat bastard stole my bag. We can still catch him if we hurry he can’t have gone too far…”

He silenced me with an upraised hoof. “Just hold on a minute! Ok, you might have been robbed…”

“Might, hell! I WAS robbed! And he’s getting away, for Roddenberry’s sake! Look, he‘s got my comm, my credit chip, and my…everything!” I pointed accusingly at the entrance to the street beyond.

“All right! Calm down! I’ll call it in, but there’s no way you’re going anywhere in public in that get-up!” He pointed delicately at my upper torso with a determinedly professional expression.

“What? “ I looked at him blankly, completely taken aback at what I thought was a non sequitur. Then, for the second time in as many minutes, two things became distressingly apparent. One was that I noticed that it was even cooler to my non-acclimated senses, than before. The breeze played with my mane and seemed to have gotten below the hem of my sweater somehow. Then the second apparent thing revealed itself when I glanced down to notice that all I was wearing above my waist were a couple of sleeves and a raveled collar!

“Oh…My…Goddesses!” I wrapped my arms around me and managed to cover up the naughtiest bits, a furious blush blazing on my muzzle, my ears, and across my…..

Just then, everything grayed out and I staggered. I didn’t lose consciousness, at least, not completely. I dimly remember the poor buck latching onto my arm and steering me toward a bench that mercifully didn’t collapse under me. (Though it did creak ominously!)

“Oh, crap! Lady! Hey, Lady! Stay with me! It’ll be okay, just stay with me! I’m calling the First Aid Station, don’t worry. Everything’ll be a-ok!” He must have fumbled his comm out of his pocket and muttered under his breath. “Never fails! This kinda thing always manages to happen right at the end of my shift…!” He was urging my head down with the idea of putting it between my knees, no doubt. Unfortunately, my, uh, pronounced mammalian anatomy made that practically impossible. I was just about to make a comment I would have regretted later when a feminine voice spoke up from nearby and the second Important Thing that day happened. I met Solar Cross.

“Can I help? I’m a Doctor, doncha know.”

I raised my head and saw a pair of slim hooves in a pair of expensive-looking sandals. Her ankles were feathered with long, golden hair. Her tail, I noted, was long and white and golden yellow. I followed a shapely pair a legs up, my gaze pausing for just a moment at the flash of pink skin low on her belly that would have led me to even further distraction had she not been standing with her body turned ever so slightly away from me. I spared a curious second looking at the golden Celestial Cross that blazoned her thigh, but was more urgently attracted to the sight of her frankly small, but exquisite pink breasts. After a moment, I took in her face and head. She was an Alicorn. I’d never met one before but I was a big fan of Amber Alicorn movies. (There are a LOT of female Alicorn movie stars, come to think of it!) Though this particular Alicorn was not nearly as well built as she, (Don’t tell her I said that!) she was still a looker!

Her mane was a glorious sunny gold with streaks of rose-red made up of large curls that tumbled down over her shoulders. I saw that the feathering on her wrists was longer than that on her ankles and gave the impression of flowing sleeves… Out of her forehead rose a gently twisting horn of golden-white. It must have been a foot and a half long if it was an inch! On it dangled some sort of jewelry, a bangle made up of a rainbow of colors like a multicolored metal ribbon draped over the third fifth of the length in a couple of lazy twists. Her eyes caught and held my attention, though. They were large, limpid, and lavender! …I never knew that eye color even existed in Nature!

The only thing she wore beside the bangle was a pair of amber-tinted sunglasses, now pushed high up on her forehead up against that improbable horn. Her voice was soft and her accent had a certain almost musical lilt to it and was almost arresting as her lovely eyes. She stood just a little taller than the Policeman (Though more than a foot shorter than Yours Truly, horn included!) and looked at him with a mild expression.

The Officer straightened up, comm in hand.

“Look, Miss, everything’s gonna be ok. I’ll just give the Lifeguard a call and…”

She cut him short, though. “Oh, pish-posh! The Lass isna a-drowning, now is she? In my professional opinion she’s got a wee touch of exposure n’ a great, huge case of modesty. All she needs is a bit o’something t’ eat and a bit of something t’cover her. We can verify my identity if I can borrow your comm.” She put her hooves on her hips and furled her wings just a bit, and treated him to a smile. “I’m no carrying me own at the moment. My name is Solar Cross, Doctor Solar Cross. I’m with Starfleet Medical. Go ahead! They’ll verify me voice print.” She let loose with a positively sunny smile and waited.

Alicorns must have that effect on ponies, I guess. The Policepony just looked at her and chewed the inside of his lip a moment before relenting. “Awright, then. Lady, (No ‘Miss’ for me, apparently.) if you got no objection I’ll let her have a look at you. Do you feel up to giving me a statement so I can call this in??

I began to get up but Solar’s slender hoof pushed me back down. “Just sit there a wee bit and don’t stir about. I’ll be back in just a tick, doncha know!” I was treated to a smile this time. “I’ll be right back, Constable!” With that, she put her glasses back on and sped off toward the concession stands.

We both watched her leave. Just for the record, it was the Officer who stopped looking first. He cleared his throat and produced his comm and I gave him the story of my first couple of hours on Earth.

His expression softened somewhat afterwards. “You’re Starfleet, eh? Helluva thing to happen to somepony who helped stop the Romulans! Well we’ll get the word out and try to cancel your chip before the perp can drain it, but I wouldn’t hold out much hope. They’re pretty good at this, I’m afraid. Hopefully we can get your clothes back, at least.” He interfaced with the unit and set the electronic wheels of justice in motion with a flurry of one-fingered inputs. He sighed and regarded me a little more sympathetically. “Look, if you want I can take you back to the Station when I get off shift. I’m sure we could get you a blanket or poncho or something….”

“All taken care of, Laddie!” Dr. Cross returned at that moment with a hideously purple garment of some sort draped over her arm and, so help me, an ice cream cone wrapped in a big, blue paper napkin in each hoof! She proffered one of the dusky-colored treats to me. I noticed her credit chip dangling from one wrist. She must have retrieved it from somewhere “Now then! Get yourself around that lot and we’ll be a-takin’ it from there. Thanks awfully, Constable, I believe we’ll be all right now!” She threw him a couple hundred watts of smile and hurried to start on her cone.

The Policeman gave her an irritated look. “Hey! What about giving her an examination? Ain’t you gonna look at her, even?”

“Oh, there’s no worries there, Constable! See…?” She pointed at my chest. All of us turned to look and I fought down an urge to cover myself again, although it was way too late to be modest by then. “Her breathing is slow and regular. She isnae even panting after running all that way! Also, if ye take a wee look at the corner of her eyes, ye’ll note that th’ membranes are normally colored. If she were going t’ faint they’d be pale or blue. As ye can see they’re as pink as ...” She flourished her finger in the general vicinity of my mammaries then pointed at…”th’ inside of her ears!” The Good Doctor finished with the hint of a sly twinkle in those improbable eyes. I didn’t know whether I should smile or give her a paddling.

The Officer gave up trying to not look too long and hard at anything in particular and just straightened up and pocketed his comm. “Awright, then. I’ll take your word on that, uh, Doctor Cross.” To me he said, “Ok, Miss Starry-Eyes, (He had my name from my statement.) I’ll be going on the rest of my rounds. If you need me for anything, I’ll swing around this way at the end of my shift. We hear anything we’ll advise Starfleet.” He tipped me an apologetic salute. “Welcome to Earth, Commander, from the rest of us!” He nodded to Solar and set off.

“I have to wonder…how many strings does somepony have to pull to get a clothing-optional beach on his beat?” she smirked and took a couple more rather distracting licks. “You’d best hurry, Dearie, you’re a-dripping’!”

I snapped out of it in a hurry, as I noticed the cool stickiness on my fingers. “Uh, yes!” I declared brightly. I brought the ice cream up and gave it a careful sniff. “Um, what flavor is this, exactly?”

She paused in mid-lick and giggled. “Why, chocolate, of course! The perfect pick-me-up! …Is there something wrong?”

I had made a face without quite realizing it. I could feel another blush coming on but was beyond caring at that point. “Well, I don’t much care for the flavor. Thanks anyway b…”

“What?!” She exclaimed. “How can ye no like chocolate? Everypony likes chocolate! Th’ very idea!”

“Welllll” I stammered, completely on the defensive, “Some Ponies tried selling it back home but it just didn’t catch on. Too bitter!” I almost cringed at the look she shot me.

“Bitter? How could it be bitter? …Unless, oh dear, they simply served up cocoa as chocolate! I seem to have heard about that, doncha know? Some Rigellian merchant chappies got hold of some cocoa and set off t’sell it as chocolate in foreign parts. Hmph! A hanging offense, to my way of thinking! A slander to the very name of chocolate everywhere! Look, Dearie, just give th’ Real Thing a taste then ye can chuck it in th’ waste bin if ye like and I’ll get ye another of whatever. Go ahead! See if I’m not right!” She tipped me a wink and went back to work on her own.

I gave it another, closer sniff, and I have to admit it did smell very, very tempting. It was an Orion trader that sold that load of ‘chocolate’ to a bunch of unsuspecting, nostalgic Equestrins back in the day but it didn’t seem worth the effort to correct her. I gave it a lick to keep the excess from running all down my hoof…and the flavor exploded on my tongue! Two more licks and two bites later, it was gone. I was scrubbing my hoof off with the napkin when I noticed Solar laughing quietly, almost strangling in an effort to be polite as a matter of fact.

I rolled my eyes and shrugged helplessly, the motion making me acutely aware that my sweater was now just a fond memory. I was still collecting a lot of looks, but she was making me feel a lot less self-conscious. I was having an ice cream cone with a naked Unicorn on a nude beach on Earth and it didn’t matter a bit!

“Ok, ok! So I was wrong about something for once in my life! My only defense is that I’m not from around here. I’m finding more about this planet to like by the minute!” My smile might lack the megawattage Solar can pack into one, but it was sincere nonetheless.

Solar, for her part, took a delicate bite out of her cone (When she got her breath back!) and smiled… this time mostly with her eyes, giving me an absolutely thrilling look from beneath her long, lovely lashes.

“Well I figured as much!” She giggled again, “Yer eye color isna found among any Terrestrial Pony I know of. And, when I touched yer shoulder, I noticed that yer skin is verra dense, almost hard. And when ye move, ye move all of a piece wi’ nary a jiggle. …Though ye do sway a bit, in an eye-catchin’ way to be sure. Physics are physics no matter where you come from, what? Not that I have that kind o’ problem!” She waved her free hoof at her own chest with a comical what-can-you-do expression that elicited a chuckle from me. She took another nibble as I cocked my head and regarded her.

“What is that accent? I’ve never run into it before. The closest thing I’ve ever heard to it was this Pony who came from a place called Pennessee, but that wasn’t nearly like yours.” Curiosity, the bane of Science Officers everywhere!

“Oh, Dear! Well, it does bear a bit of explaining, doesn’t it?” She used her tongue to get at the ice cream in the bottom of the cone and I nearly lost the thread of what she was saying. My eyes snapped back to her face when she resumed speaking. “My Family come from Byreland. I was raised there but I’ve spent a good many years in th’ U.K., Canterda, and elsewhere so I’ve picked up bits o’ everything from everywhere doncha know?” She dimpled and smiled and I wished for something cold to drink…or maybe wear! A bucket of ice water, maybe…

“I’ll take your word for it! Wow! I could listen to you speak forever…” I facehoofed myself suddenly! “Good Goddesses! My name is Starry, Starry-Eyes. I come from Ponyton on the Equestris Colony. I’m in Starfleet, too, and I’m…very…pleased to meet you, Solar!” I offered my hoof and she let me grasp hers and our eyes met for an instant and the third thing happened…

Before this, I always treated the old cliché about that ‘spark’ that zaps down your spine when you meet That Perfect Someone as so much poetic license. I will say this, though,…I’ve worked in a mine on Equestris, spent four years getting shot at by Romulans, and tumbled my share of Stallions and Fillies…well…one of each in between but I’ve never felt anything like what I felt with Solar just then. What’s more, I knew for a fact that she felt it, too.

We were still there when the Officer showed back up. He took one look and sauntered off. Yep, everything was gonna be A-OK!

Chapter Three- Night on the town

CHAPTER THREE

NIGHT ON THE TOWN

Solar wanted to get my mane done. “Sure and ’Tis a shame for ye t’ just bundle it up in a simply ponytail like that!” But it had a long day for me already and she relented only after she took me to a park and gave me a quick styling with her trusty grooming kit. I had to admit, it looked pretty good and I found myself idly stroking a lock that she’d arranged while I regarded the New Me that looked out of her holo-mirror.

“Wow!” I said with my customary eloquence. “Thanks, Sunny!(If I was going to be “Starry’ I could call her ’Sunny’) …I hardly recognize myself!”

“Now imagine what could hae been if we’d gone to a Salon!” She gave me a punch on my shoulder I never felt and circled me to inspect the fruits of her labor. “There now! I’d be goin’ so far t’ say that ye’re fit t’ go out in public. Aye, no a bad job if I do say so, meself!”

Lunch came next, though by then it was more properly dinnertime. Sunny took me to a favorite place of hers that, frankly, surprised me. I half expected her to bring us to some rarefied restaurant with lots of waiters in formal dress where we would eat tiny portions at outrageous prices. The American Pie, however, was quite the opposite. It was what Sunny explained to me as a ‘Theme Restaurant’, decorated in the style of something called a ‘50’s Diner’. (Meant nothing to me, but I wasn’t about to argue!) It was a local place whose owner was descended from a singer from before the Wars. It was busy but not excessively crowded and we didn’t have much trouble finding a seat. I was pleased to notice the tables at the booths were not fixed to the floor so I was able to slip right in with no problem. Sunny sat right next to me, scooting up to sit on the edge of her seat rather than taking up a position at the end of the table. I just flicked my tail to the side but she curled hers behind me and laid it in my lap from the opposite direction where it lay quietly except to tickle my tummy from time to time when she felt mischievous…which was most of the time.

Everything was done in antique-style linoleum and chrome and the floor was covered in foot wide squares of red and white. There was a big, open spot in the middle of the room that Sunny said was for dancing. …For a terrifying split-second I wondered if she was going to drag me out on the floor! Mercifully no band was present. The walls were almost completely obscured by garish neon lights worked in fanciful, obscure (To me, at least!) designs alternating with framed displays of curious black discs of varying shapes with holes in the middle of them. They put me in mind of some sort of storage media which, as it turned out, they were!
‘” They’re records!” Sunny pointed out.

“Records of what?” I asked innocently. Sunny giggled and assumed her ‘lecturing voice’ with an improbably straight face.

“Phonograph records, Lassie! Music stored on plastic disks. What they used t’ use before old-style CD’s…or even magnetic tape, doncha know?”

“No kidding! I’ve read about these, never thought I’d ever see one, though..” Squinting close, I could just make out the existence of the very fine lines that spiraled down from the edge to the center. “There can’t be more than a few kilobytes worth of storage on these things. And to think that used to be state-of-the-art!”

“Well, ye’re lookin’ at a ‘forty-five’, there. Only one song per side.(Ooops! I never considered that the other side was playable!) Th’ bigger one are ‘thirty-threes’ and could hold nigh on t’ forty minutes per side.”

Before I could ask ‘forty-five or thirty-three what?’ a young Stallion, a Colt, really, stopped over. I was getting particularly fashion-conscious by then so his attire caught my attention. He was decked out in a rather tight tee-shirt under a black leather jacket that was casually unfastened with the brilliant, honest-to-goodness zippers ( I hadn’t seen any since Home!) catching the lights from everywhere. He had on narrow-legged blue jeans and some rather archaically styled athletic shoes on his hooves. His mane was slicked back with something that rendered it wet-looking and immobile, except for a stray lock that curled over his forehead just above his eyes. He was rather ostentatiously chewing something he never swallowed as he swaggered up to our booth.

“Hey, Dolls! I’m Bopper. What can I getcha?” He handed me a pair of menus in red plastic covers and produced a small pad of actual paper that he held in the palm of his hoof. From behind his ear he plucked the stub of an actual yellow wooden pencil. I could smell the cedar wood from where I sat. The American Pie was seriously into authenticity, apparently! Bopper smiled down at us benevolently, smiling and chewing.

“Well, I…haven’t the faintest clue! What do you recommend…Bopper?” I floundered.

Sunny came to my rescue. “Heya, Bopper-me-lad!”

“Hey, Doc!” Bopper tipped her a wink that stirred just a tickle bit of jealously in my heart. …I resolved not to hate him until I got to know him better. “Who’s your friend?” He gave me an open, honest smile that did nothing for me at all!

“This is Starry. She’s from out of town. Way out of town, doncha know? It’s her very first day on Earth and I’ve been showing her th’ place. Starry, this is Bopper.”

The young Stallion’s eyes widened his smile became spontaneous instead of scripted.

“No kidding! Hiya, Stars! Hey, where’re you from? Mares Colony? Titan? Alpha Centauri? I’m gonna go off-planet one of these days, myself! He tossed his pad into his other hoof and offered the other one to me with such sincerity that I was ashamed of myself. I took his hoof and gave it a shake and offered him a smile. (Whatever was I on about? I was old enough to be his…older cousin…for mercy’s sake!) “Hey, just because it’s a special occasion, whatever you Ladies want is on the house! Any friend of the Doc is a-ok with me!” He sprang back into action and poised, ready to take out order.

“Oooh, goody!” Sunny scanned the menu, “We’ll be startin’ wi’ champagne cocktails…”

“Cute, Doc!” Bopper rolled his eyes. “Just what’s on the menu already!”

“Spoilsport! If ye were a couple inches shorter I’d be a-puttin’ ye ‘cross ma knees fer sass! Starry, though, she’d hae nae problem. Probly roll you around like a foot-ball….”

“Solar!!”

“Keep yer shirt on, Lassie, ye just got it! Right! I’m thinking’ we’ll hae a couple o’ ‘Marelyn Monroan’s’, that’s a verra nice veggie sandwich doncha know, a couple orders o’ hay fries, n’ a pair o’ cokes.”

“Got it!” Vinny scribbled. “Ya want Original Coke, Cherry, Vanilla, Lemon, or Coke Cubed?”

“Sure and we’ll be drinkin’ th’ Original here at th’ Pie! …And, speakin’ o’ yon’, we’ll have apple pie for dessert. Wi’ ice cream! …And can I get a wee bit o’ …”

“Malt vinegar for my/your fries!” They chorused together. Sunny was obviously a regular customer! Bopper finished scribbling and tore the page loose from his pad. “I’ll get this in right away. And I’ll tell Pop you’re here! Back inna couple of shakes with your drinks!” He sped off leaving me feeling just a bit bewildered.

“You’re certainly an…informal bunch around here, aren’t you?” I remarked as he hustled away.

Sunny giggled and flirted her tail against me. “Oh, I was originally an investor in th’ place. Sock-Hop, Bopper’s dad, bought me out some time ago but I come here whenever I can.”

“’Some time ago’? When, last month?” I laughed. My question caught her off guard, though. I knew that a Equestrin year was shorter than a Terran one. Back Home I was twenty-four, which made me a scooch under twenty-one here. I never would have suspected that Sunny could be older than me. They way she acted I just assumed she was younger. Before I could pursue the matter, Sunny quickly changed the subject, lecturing me on classic ‘rock-and-roll’, the ‘Big Bopper’, ‘poodle skirts‘, (And why I would look so cute one! … As if I would wear something a poodle… whatever that was… wouldn‘t!) and the evils of the ‘Bittish Invasion’ and its effect on Neighmerican music.

I was thoroughly muddled by the time Bopper dropped off the Cokes. (In my mind I had the ‘Invasion’ confused with the War of 1812, having completely missed the music referenced.) ‘Classic’ Coke, as it is called, was a bit sweet and almost syrupy for my taste but I dutifully drank it down while we crunched potato crisps, pardon me, I mean chips. (An apple by any other name…)

The sandwiches were very tasty and I said so after the first bite! Alice was puzzled, therefore, when I left mine half-eaten.

“I thought you said it was good!”

“I did, and it is but I’m not that hungry. Look, my metabolism is geared for life in 1.8 Earth gravities. Living in a lower-gee environment is just…easier. I don’t need nearly as many calories as I would back home. What with that ice cream earlier…”

“Ye gobbled that down wi’ no leftovers!” Alice chided.

I rolled my eyes. “That was different! The point I was trying to make,” I gave her tail a yank to keep her quiet! “is that, with as good as it tasted, I’m sure it was packed to the brim with empty calories. This sandwich, those fries, and the upcoming pie are sure as Luna’s Love to put me waaay over my daily intake. I normally spend an hour or so on a grav plate in a gym just to burn off the excess as well as keep myself from suffering gravity-related complications. Damn! That’s another thing I have to take care of. My vitamins and supplements were in my bag!”

Alice looked thoughtful. “I daresay ye take calcium n’ phosphorus for yer bones, that shouldnae be hard t’ find. What about minerals? Iron? Magnesium? Uranium?” …And, just like that, she was being Sunny again! She patted my knee with her practically prehensile tail assuringly. “Assumin’ ye dinna need prescription drugs we should be able t’ fix ye up in a couple o’ ticks, doncha know? But do make an effort wi’ th’ pie! It’s th’ specialty o’ th’ house and Sock-Hop’d be crushed if he thought ye didna like it.”

I promised to do it justice and Sunny finished my sandwich and the bulk of my fries as thoroughly as a famished Tellarite!

“Waste not, want not!” She said, then burped delicately behind her napkin. I just shook my head, wondering just where she put all that stuff. Envious, I guess, of someone who could get away with eating like that…

Sock-Hop ( A bigger, somewhat heftier, version of his son.) brought the pie himself, big ol’ wedges of flakey golden brown crust, oozing but not gelatinous filling, piping hot and seemingly glad of all that vanilla ice cream on top! Calories be damned! If Sunny tried putting a hoof on this she’d get back a stump!

Out of sheer sense of propriety I managed a few lines of idle banter before letting Sunny and Sock-Hop chat while I turned my full attention to the pie. I made it a point to look attentive as I ate, though I hated diverting any of my senses from that glorious treat!

As it turned out, Sock-Hop was descended of a folk singer from the mid-Twentieth century who gained notoriety from making a song with the name ‘Neighmerican Pie’. The restaurant was testimony to the song and it the era it represented. It was all very enlightening for those who made a study of Neighmerican Pop Culture. Me? I just nodded and scraped up the dregs of ice cream, apple filling, and crumbs. I would have licked the plate if I thought I could have gotten away with it…

Right about then I noticed Sunny smirking and Sock-Hop beaming in my direction!

“What was yon aboot worryin’ over yer calories? Starry, Dear, ye’ve a sweet tooth o’ mammoth proportions! Faith! Well at least th’ pie didnae hae time t’ suffer!” She hooted and then subsided into a prolonged fit of not-quiet-enough laughter.

Sock-Hop was more diplomatic by far! “Hey! What can you expect when you’re served the Best Pie on the Planet? Gives you a feeling of accomplishment to see someone eat like that! I’ll make sure to tell the Staff how much you liked it.”

“Um, it’s a very good pie! We just don’t grow apples like that back home!” I added, lamely. I had a feeling I should say something rather than just sit there and blush!

“Yeah, I didn’t figure you for a Local.” He deadpanned. “So where is ‘home’, if you don’t me asking..?”

I cleared my throat a bit before answering. You never knew how someponies would react. In Starfleet it wasn’t much of a problem. The General Public, on the other hoof…

“I’m from the Equestris Colony, around 54 Draconis. We call it ‘Nova Celestia‘…”

“Holy Celestia! No fooling? You’re a Superpony?” He cut me off and I involuntarily cringed, expecting the worst. “I remember hearing of your planet. I don’t think I’ve ever had anypony in here from that far away. Is it ok if I take a picture with you? For my Wall?” He pointed to the wall near the entrance that boasted hardcopies of video images. “I’ve had Ponies from Mares, Titan, Centauri, you name it! That Vulcan ambassador, Sorek, Surek? Well whatever his name is he was here but Vulcan isn’t that far away. Compared to Equestris, that is! Hey, Bopper! Get my photo over here!”

I blinked a couple of times before I responded. …Which gave Sunny enough time to serious up enough to interject, “Sure and ye’ hae t’ make allowances for her, she’s sufferin’ from a medical condition unique t’ superponies, doncha know?”

We both turned to look at her.

“Oh, aye! Th’ poor Lass is dealin’ wi’ a bad case o’ ice cream deficiency!” She squeed and lapsed into giggles again and didn’t stop till I gave her tail another yank!

Bopper got his video still, posing with me and another slice of pie a-la-mode. (Tragically, the pie did not survive the photo shoot. I gave it a decent burial and burped a very nice eulogy!) All the commotion attracted the attention of the nearby tables and we ended up having a pleasant time meeting other Ponies. Heck, it was practically a Party! Socializing was a new thing to me and I was almost childishly happy with the simple joy of meeting nice Ponies as opposed to (Innocently, I’ll admit.) truculent Tellarites! It was over far too soon, though, and we were on our way just as the night began to show through the sky.

We ambled along arm-in-arm, with Sunny’s tail wrapped as far around my mine as she could manage, just chatting and watching the lights of the storefronts come alive one after another. I was feeling pleasantly full and just being with Sunny was better than a lifetime supply of pie ala mode. Lighter gravity or not, though, it had been a long day for me and, after I’d more-or-less successfully stifled my third yawn, Sunny suggested we should get back to her place.

We boarded a Public Transport for a pleasant ride that took us over to San Francisco, not too far from Starfleet Headquarters! I could see the buildings as we passed by.

“You know, I could just get a bunk there…” I dutifully mentioned, not too seriously! Sunny only sniffed and snuggled me tighter with her tail.

“I kin do ye better’n yon! …Unless ye’re keen on spendin’ a night wearin’ coveralls in a barracks instead o’ a nice, soft bed with the verra strong possibility o’ a bowl of ice cream afore ye sleep, that is!”

“Mmm! Well, when you put in that way, how can I say no?” We both laughed but I was left to mull over something that had been bothering me more and more as the day had gone on.

I’d barely had experiences with Stallions, let alone Mares. My life had just sorted itself out that way. By now I VERY strongly suspected that I was, in fact, in love with Sunny. I was over ninety-nine and dozens of decimal places percent sure that Alice felt the same way. Being a sophisticated Earth Alicorn I was certain she wouldn’t hesitate to invite me into her bed, the whole evening had been leading up to just such an, uh, climax.

Don’t get me wrong! I would gladly comply with her wishes, after all, I wanted nothing less, myself! …But, when all else is said and done, I was still just a Mare from the Colonies and we’re more conservative in our ways back on Equestris. The idea of hopping into someone’s bed after only half a day’s acquaintance just didn’t sit right with me, however they did things on Earth! How could I tell Sunny without hurting her feelings…?

While I wasn’t keen on broaching the subject on Public Transport I figured that I’d better say something sooner than later. I waited for her to finish the call she was putting through on her comm. “Just makin’ arrangements fer whin we get there! ‘ Tis all set an’ ready t’ go. Had t’ give th’ Security Laddies th’ heads up, doncha know?”

My train of thought was suddenly derailed. “Security? Where are we going, anyway?”

She only dimpled a smile and dazzled me with those lavender eyes. (Seriously, Starfleet should really be looking into the Alicorn Effect!) “Sure an’ ‘tis a rather exclusive place I live in…but I think ye’ll like it!” I quirked an eyebrow at her but Sunny, I was to learn, Never Explains Anything so I held off and let her point out places of interest for the rest of the ride.

It was fully dark as the City would allow as we left the terminal. To my surprise Sunny led us to a very large, even by my standards, vehicle. Nothing less than a limousine, as a matter of fact. It was yellow and black with deeply tinted windows in the passenger compartment and was fully as large as a Delivery Van back home, though much more sleek and stately. With a start I realized that it had no wheels and was floating rock steady about eight inches above the ground. A personal gravitic vehicle! A smartly dressed Pony in a black uniform stood at parade rest nearby and smiled with his eyes at Sunny. I was rooted to the spot!

“Sunny…?”

“Yes, Starry?” I turned to look at her and she was beaming, clearly enjoying herself.

“I knew you were, uh, well-to-do, but I didn’t know you were rich! You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“Well, to be sure, I have to admit that yon chariot isna mine. It belongs to Daddy for when he gets out this way, doncha know? Mine is back Home at Elphinstone.” She waved at the Pony in Black. “Nah then, Cedar!”

The Pony touched the brim of his cap. “Evenin’, Mum! Miss.” He nodded civilly to me and moved to open the rear compartment to reveal a richly padded leather interior lit softly by indirect lighting. Wow.

“Come along, Starry-me-Dear. The quicker we get in the quicker we get home!” Sunny chirped and hooked an arm in mine and led me to the limo. Cedar relieved us of our bags, putting them aside for a moment and helping us into the vehicle in a frankly archaic and wholly unnecessary way, before stashing them in the back.

I took up rather more room than I was comfortable with, but at least there was just enough headroom …as long as I kept my ears flat and didn’t mind my mane getting a little quashed.

“Oh, dear. Maybe I should have sent for the convertible. Well there’s naught for it now! Ye’ll just have t’ refrain from bouncin’ on th’ seats for th’ duration. Home, Cedar-me-lad!” The window separating us from Cedar was dark, but his image flicked into being on it just long enough for him to touch his cap again and say,
“Very good, Mum! Straightaway!”

I settled back carefully into the deeply padded cushions. I never sat on leather before and I was kind of nervous about how much give was in it. Sunny, meanwhile, giggled softly.

“What? I’ve never had a ride in anything this fancy before. Good Luna above, this thing must cost as much as a shuttle pod! Why in the worlds do you take Public Transport when you have something like this to tool around in? With your own Driver, for Faust’s sake! Stop laughing at me, I still haven’t forgiven you for not telling me you’re an Heiress or something!”

“Oh, I never ken where I’m a-goin’ when I set out for jaunt. Why should I be a-draggin’ poor Cedar hither an’ yon when th’ poor fella has other things he wants t’ do. ‘Sides, I attract a lot less attention this way. I’m quite the retirin’ sort, doncha know?”

“…Said the Filly who runs around nude beaches!”

She only giggled. “I dinna ken hearin’ ye complain! Dinna argue wi’ Fate, Starry. Everything happens for a reason.”

I rubbed between my eyes. I was absurdly comfortable and beginning to feel more than a little punch-drunk from the events of the day. “You didn’t and I’m not, believe me! I’m just feeling like I’ve fallen down the metaphorical rabbit hole into somewhere else entirely. Uh,…things are moving so fast that I guess I’m a little overwhelmed is all.” I shrugged helplessly and gave her a wan smile.

“Aye, well…” She snuggled up to me and laid her tail in my lap again. I picked it up and stroked the end idly. When she spoke again her already soft voice was even softer… “Truth be told, ’tis been quite a day, hasn’t it? Never fret! A good night’s rest is all ye need. Remember, I’m a doctor! N’ Doctor Cross Is Always Right, ye’ll see!” She laid her head on the inside of my shoulder just looked at me with those marvelous, wonderful eyes and, quite before I knew it, my arm was around her. Our muzzles came closer so slowly and I was touched and amazed to see just a glimmer of nervous fear in her eyes. It was all right, I was a bundle of nerves myself just then!

I was the one who, just for the record, hesitated. “Sunny…”
I gulped. “I …don’t know how to even kiss a Mare!”

“Oh, Starry! I believe it goes summat…like…this” Our lips met and I frankly lost track of the rest of the ride.

The next thing I knew we were getting out of the chariot on a pier in some sort of harbor complex. Sunny, it turned out, was living on a bloody huge boat, excuse me, a yacht! Of course she did. I tried not to look at all the water and frankly hurried across the wholly (To my nervous eyes!) insubstantial-looking ramp that connected ship to pier.

She didn’t live in a cabin, rather, she had a suite…and a very nice one, too. Golden yellow wood, bright brass, and all things white (What Sunny calls ‘Th’ Family Colors’.) were the motif. The carpet was deep enough to make me feel like I was walking on clouds like some oversized Pegasus. (Don’t see many of them on starships!) The servants took a little getting used to. They seemed to take it as a personal affront if I carried anything in my own hooves and it seemed that there was a liveried Pony at my elbow everywhere I turned wanting to push something to eat or drink on me. Failing that they just hovered around in the background if ‘Miss’ would happen to desire just anything! I was actually afraid to use the bathroom…and not just for the sake of the facilities!

Sunny’s rooms were off-limits except by direct invitation, thank goodness. Even before we got there maids were putting our purchases in the closets with an efficiency rivaling the best Starfleet could boast. Sunny, I noticed, treated all and sundry like family and never made outrageous demands on their services or seemed to abuse the privilege, bless her heart. We’re a pretty egalitarian bunch on Equestris and I don’t think the President of the Federation herself had half as much staff!

We were alone eventually and she showed me around. Her bedroom was easily six times bigger than any cabin on any ship I served on and I had to wonder if she had ever served on a starship…and several quantum levels higher in sheer luxury! I gingerly sat on the bed to see if it would hold me while Sunny absented herself to take a shower. I took off my boots and socks and laid back experimentally. To its credit the bed never so much as creaked.

I had half expected (And half feared!) to see her return wearing a skimpy negligee, if she wore anything at all. My gape when she did come back must’ve been good because she was laughing after a second! Her eveningwear consisted of a very long and baggy old tee that came down to her knees. It was soft and pale yellow (Imagine that!) and, with her mane down and pleasantly damp, made her look like a different pony completely.

“What? Ye were expectin’ sequins an’ gold lame, then? G’wan wi’ ye, then! I laid towels out fer ye an’ just put yer clothes in hamper, they’ll be cleaned n’ pressed in th’ mornin’. Get along, now!” She flounced onto the bed and was forced by my presence to roll into my arms. She giggled. “Och! ‘ Tis all downhill wi’ ye here, innit?” She gave me a brief kiss, then made as if to push me out.

As much as I wanted to stay, I really did need a shower. Something occurred to me, though, as I rolled out of bed and stood.

“Damn! All that shopping and I forgot to get anything to sleep in. I don’t imagine you have any more of those,” I waved a hoof at her ‘jammies‘. “Lying around, do you? …Or were you counting on that?” I gave her a severe eyebrow.

Sunny looked smug. “Sure an’ I gave it more than a thought. But!” She raised a hoof. “I noticed ye dinna pick anythin’ out so I took th’ liberty o’ getting’ ye a little summat. ‘ Tis in yon.” She pointed delicately to the bathroom. “I hope ye like it…I’m fair certain I will!” She tittered and reached for an honest-to-goodness printed book (She had shelves full of them!) and opened it to a marked page, giving me only a teasing glance to say she wouldn’t explain further.

I rolled my eyes in a bow to the inevitable. “Ooooh, kay! But if I find fishnets and pasties we’re gonna have words, Filly!” Sunny’s only reply was a stifled giggle as I stalked off.

Her shower was something of a surprise. I was used to water spraying down from a single showerhead. Sunny’s shower had a head directly overhead that provided a welcomingly generous amount of water. …What I wasn’t prepared for were the other sprays that came out the other directions! Still, it was a very nice experience that was only enriched by the gorgeously scented actual cakes of soap (Prior to this, I’d only used gels!) and positively decadent shampoos available. It remains in my memory as the Best Shower Ever.

I’d intentionally left Sunny’s present in its box. I wasn’t sure of what exactly I would do is I found some scandalously scanty outfit in there. Part of me was saying put it on and have some real fun for once in your life. What were the odds of ever seeing her again after tonight, after all? Live a little!

…But is that all I really wanted? Was that all the emotional commitment I needed? Just a shore-leave romance in some exotic port? Was that what I was really all about?

Was that all Sunny was about, really?

Starfleet gave me the opportunity to see beyond Equestris, to live in a greater Galaxy. Starfleet was my life…but is there more to life than Starfleet? Starfleet was made by Ponies…and Ponies need other Ponies, like Sunny.

I sighed. The chance to leave Sunny passed a long time ago. I could have taken that nameless Policepony up on his offer and would have been sitting in a barracks back at Starfleet by now, thinking wistfully about What Might Have Been and getting ready to re-join my ship.

But I didn’t. I was here because I made that choice. Was I being led around by my glands? Oh, they were weighing in heavily on my decision-making faculties, to be sure. …But I was still the one calling the shots. My choice. I was here because I would probably never have anything like this again.

Sunny said to never argue with Fate. Being a Scientist, Fate was a notion I scoffed at. And yet…no scientist can deny the power of the Pony Heart…

The ever-thoughtful Sunny had laid out a selection of perfumes to chose from as well as brushes and combs. I made use of them as I considered the box and what lay inside. Finally, there was no more stalling. I opened the box, and laughed!

The Mare that looked out of the mirror (This one being much larger and more conventional in its properties!) at me afterwards beamed and turned this way and that. I was clad in a knee-length nightshirt of deep blue with a tasteful amount of white lace at the collar, sleeves and hemline. It was perfectly opaque and three bright white buttons showed at the open neck, it being rather warm in the bathroom. There was even a full night robe to go with it as well as a matching pair of slippers! I wondered just when she managed to pick this out… I drew the robe on, leaving it open in the front, and returned to Sunny.

She had put in a call to the Staff while I was gone for she was sipping something purple out of a very fancy little glass as she perused her book. She turned all her megawattage on me as I came in.

“So…how d’ye like it?” She dimpled a smile, very pleased with herself.

“It’s very nice. Thank you!” I bent and gave her a kiss of appreciation…and got a taste of something strange in the offing.
I smacked my lips a couple of times. “What are you drinking?”

“This? Oh sure and ‘tis but a wee nip o’ sherry. No th’ best I ever had,” Here she raised the glass and peered at the lamp through it. (Why, I do not know ! We‘re pretty much a cider and beer crowd on Equestris.) “But passable for a bit o’ a nightcap, doncha know? I took th’ liberty o’ gettin’ summat fer yerself, too!” She pointed with her eyes and I followed her gaze to a small stand at my side of the bed where a white stoneware bowl cuddled five scoops of, yes, chocolate ice cream!

Naturally, I did the ice cream in quickly. (Feeding a few spoonfuls to Sunny in the process so I could say that I didn’t eat it all!) Leaving the dishes for the morning I got ready for bed and had to face a moment I’d been dreading all evening.

We’d shared another delicious (Chocolate-flavored) kiss and Alice dimmed the lights down a bare minimum and laid back, so utterly desirable that it hurt! I was still sitting up wrestling with what I was about to say. Sunny got there first, though.

“Starry…?”

“Sunny. I, uh… Look, it isn’t that I don’t want to…”

“But…” She prompted patiently.

“But I just can’t” I blurted out. “I don’t know how things are on Earth but back Home… We just met today, for goodness sake!” I drew another breath and said the hardest thing I ever said. “And for the sake of goodness, what I think of it as anyway, I, uh, think I should sleep on the couch.” I snuck a glance at her for a bare instant but I couldn’t make out her expression in the gloom. I realized suddenly that I was holding my breath. The seconds dragged by as if in relativistic flight… Oh, Luna! What was she thinking? Was she angry? …Was she laughing at the ‘backwards Colonial’? In an effort of sheer will I began to shift my weight, preparing to slide my legs over the edge of the bed and stand up…

“Oh, dear!” She said, quietly. “I have taken a lot for granted, haven’t I?” I felt her stir behind me. Was she getting up to toss me out? I had a sudden vision of her calling Cedar and five or six other Ponies being summoned to evict me from the premises. Instead, a soft hoof touched me on the shoulder and I flinched! “Oh my dear, dear Starry! What you must be a-thinkin’ o’ me! Feelin’ bought an’ paid for like a… a bloody toy! An’ me just thinkin’ o’ meself wi’ no regard fer yer feelin’s.” Two soft arms twined across my waist in a fierce hug and I completely froze, not even daring to hope… “I’m so sorry, Starry. I’ll no force ye to do what ye no think is right.” Oh. My. Goddesses! Was she holding back tears? …I know I was.

I managed to turn around again slowly as if I were embedded in tritanium. Sunny released my waist and sat, shivering, on her side of the bed with her wonderful, luminous eyes bright with tears. She seemed to shrink as I looked at her. I couldn’t take it anymore! I opened my arms and took her in.

“Starry…” She asked timidly, “Can ye forgive a daft Alicorn?”

“Sunny,” I quavered, “I could never think badly of you! Please don’t cry! I… I love you!”

She made a supreme effort and drew herself up to eye level and maintained a legendary composure, her eyes smiling wider than any muzzle could!

“That’s absolutely super!” She declared brightly. “Because I very…”She sniffled, “ …m-much believe that…” Her lower lip trembled and her voice began to falter. She just barely got out, “…I love you, too, Starry!”

We clung to each other and cried and cried and cried. Sometime during that, Sunny produced a box of tissues and before the night was through we’d filled the ice cream bowl to overflowing.

I never left her bed that night. Sunny, to her credit, snuggled close and never put a hoof anywhere remotely naughty. For my part I was just happy to hold her close. The one thought kept running through and through my head…

How could you not love someone like that?

…I still had a Ship to catch, but not for a few more weeks. I quashed the thought at once and, for the first time in my adult life, just enjoyed the moment. Fate, Sunny said.

Fate.

Chapter Five- Meeting the Parent

CHAPTER FIVE

MEETING THE PARENT

When I came to Earth I never intended to spend my entire Shore Leave there. Sunny changed all that, though. We spent twenty one days flitting around the planet seeing sights I’d only seen referenced in databases before. North and South Neighmerica, Horsetrailia, Zebrica, Mexicolt, Great Bitan, Prance, Bitaly, Roam, it all passed in a whirlwind tour that made my head swim. We climbed pyramids (Ok, Sunny got carried while I climbed, but let’s not quibble over details!) toured Incolt ruins, dabbled our hooves in canals on two continents, and even took a mane-raising white water river raft trip that left me weak in the knees for half a day afterwards.(Augments. Don’t. Float.) The days were full of wonders and the nights burned in Sunny’s arms…

By the time Sunny suggested spending the last week of leave at her home in Byreland it occurred to me that I would like to make our…arrangement…permanent. It wasn’t unheard of even on Equestris. Homosexuality is as old as the Pony Race and, even though the Colony needed to increase its population, exceptions were always made. …With the unspoken proviso that same-sex couples would have to work harder for the privilege. I did some covert research on the subject at odd moments when Sunny was snoring on my arm the morning after a strenuous night! The term for such a bonding, on Earth as it is on Equestris, was a ‘Civil Union’ and it conferred all the legal rights that are granted to married couples. Before we left Earth, I was going to propose. There was just one thing I wanted to do first. Oh, I’d already arranged for a ring. I had to take out a loan but I saw an absolutely beautiful specimen while we were in Roam. It was carved and polished gold with a two caret sparkler surrounded by gorgeous little topazes amounting to another caret. Back home it would have been a LOT less expensive (We’re a mineral-rich place even if we don’t have much topsoil!) but since Starfleet was paying my room and board I figured I could justify the expense. Besides, it was for Sunny!

It took a little fancy hoof work to pick up the purchase (I’d covertly gotten her ring size from one of her other pieces of jewelry.) but by the time we caught a flight to Byreland it was safely cached away in my growing accumulation of luggage. There was just one more thing I needed to do before I popped the question.

Sunny had, on a few occasions, rather playfully brought up the idea that we elope. Usually she’d follow up the idea with some improbable suggestion of going to New Pegasus for the ceremony (The place, I gather, is rather famous… or infamous… for its wedding industry.) followed by a night at the casinos and shows. I always deferred for two reasons. The first being that I had to work too hard for my credits to just gamble them away like that! The second reason …has its roots in the reason for the first, actually.

I’m an Earth Pony, damnit! An Augmented one, granted, but an Earth Pony first and foremost. My ancestors literally built Equestrian civilization with hooves, teeth, and heads… if you believe the old stories. We value hard work and maintain to this day that nothing of value is done without it. Magic is fine and dandy but is, by its nature, erratic and unreliable. Hell, the entire reason for Augmentation in the first place was to make Ponies more capable of coping with a difficult world …or plurality of worlds. We’re a no-nonsense bunch. We’re seen as stubborn and willful and sometimes even narrow-minded by the more Supernaturally inclined Ponies. Well …it takes all kind of spices to make an apple pie. The point I’m rather circuitously making is that we’re more conservative, in our own ways, than Unicorns, Pegasai and especially Alicorns! We’re proud and honest and value our integrity. It is this very sense of integrity that kept me from Sunny’s bed (For one night, anyway. …Kinda.) and it was the reason that I didn’t feel right to just run away with her. I wanted us to be together honorably, or at least in a way I considered to be honorable. Elopement just didn’t feel right! I wanted to propose. But before I did …I wanted to get her family’s permission. Sunny mentioned somewhere along the way that her Mother was dead so I wanted to get her Father’s permission before I asked. I’m not the best Earth Pony I can be sometimes, but I wanted to do this. Going to Byreland dovetailed nicely into my plans. (Although, in hindsight, …did Sunny suggest going Home to maybe set this in motion? Hmm…)

Near the city of Elphinstone is a mountain and on the slopes of that mountain stands a castle of white and yellow granite built, they tell me, sometime in the Thirteenth Century. The castle is called Alicorne Keep as has been remodeled and added to throughout the ages. This is Sunny’s ancestral home. The Keep, the mountain, and bits of the adjoining valleys it borders have been in her Family for time out of mind. Well, I knew she was rich but… wow!

The ever-present Cedar (Who had gone from being Sunny’s personal valet to being our personal valet.) drove us along the valley and along winding roads through the forests that garbed the mountain. (Called, not surprisingly, Alicorne Hill. Would you believe that the administrative district it sat in is called Alicorne County? Sunny may be a Sybarite, but she never exhibited this kind of ego! Again, Alicorns!) Personally, I was fascinated by the forest. The tallest plant we have on Equestris is a sort of club moss that barely comes to my knees, and I’m considered a borderline midget back Home! Trees are something we look at wistfully in the databases. It is nowhere close to being in the presence of the real things!. We arrived in June and the deciduous trees, many of them ancient things older than my Colony, were in full leaf and we drove through a living green tunnel for miles, the road climbing in and out of countless dells each seeming to shelter its own quaint flora and fauna. Sunny noted my rapt expression and turned off the environmental settings and lowered the windows as we passed into the realm of the evergreens higher up. Wow! As good as they looked, the smelled even better! I hung my head out the window and let my mane stream in the slipstream all the way to the Keep.

‘Keep’ is something of a misnomer. All castles were built primarily as fortresses and strongholds. The term ‘Keep’ denotes a small castle and the core of Alicorne Keep still contains the original structure at its very heart. But the thing expanded as the lands it protected grew more prosperous, adding more towers, a wall, and finally a moat in its final incarnation.

For some reason I was expecting to see the place sitting by itself maybe on a hill commanding the lands around it, an elegant, old grey collection of museum-quality architecture. A sort of lovingly tended relic of times past. I blinked several times as the chariot curved out of the forest and into agricultural country.

Alicorne Keep did indeed sit on a hill, but that hill was the mere outer rampart of a massive mountain that reared up behind it to the north. It sat in quiet splendor shrouded in a soft coat of green colors and considered the lands around it benevolently. A moat it certainly had, wide and blue with patches of reeds and some sort of floating plant life here and there along the edges. Ducks were swimming in it as well as several Ponies. There was a wall, too. Fifty feet tall if it was an inch and made of the same stuff as the Keep itself, a pale yellow granite polished smooth and catching the light of the morning sun. Two massive gates pierced it, one on the mountain side and the other on the opposite position. Battlements lined its length and a round tower stood on each corner, a banner rose from the roof of each tower showing a yellow sun disk on a field of white. All the rooftops of the Keep were covered in what looked like white stone or ceramic tiles that gleamed in the light. I remember that the Ponies nearby must all have to wear sunglasses!

Beyond the moat an entire village encircled the Keep. The largest and most prestigious homes lay, of course, nearest the Keep with the shopping district and humbler dwellings arranged beyond. Around it all were fields and orchards that filled the gap between the Mountain and the Wood. I could see Ponies of all palettes going about their business. Foals played, Mares shopped or strolled sporting their favorite fashions, Stallions walked arm-in-arm with them or maybe made their way to their favorite pub after the day’s labor. A thriving and pleasant place was Alicorne Keep. From the highest tower of the old central Keep itself a garrison-sized flag was raised each day at dawn. The flag bore the sign of the winged cross superimposed on a blazing sun all of gold on a field of bright white edged with gold, the ancient and venerable sign of Celestia of the Sun who still watched over, at least in proxy, this corner of Ponydom. Well, whatever keeps them happy…

I pondered the flag as we made our way toward the gate. On Equestris neither Celestia nor Luna had ever tread. It was a world never intended for Ponies, a young (Astronomically speaking.) place of heavy gravity, rock, very saline water, simple plants and even simpler insects, and some very bloody-minded sea life that ultimately proved little more than challenging raw material for Earth Pony ingenuity and perseverance. Even in the days just prior to the Eugenics Wars the Goddesses were something out of the distant past. All that was left of Them were stories and tradition of a harmonious and peaceful past paradise. On Earth they lived on as a memory and became the foundation of a Faith that still binds all Pony-Folk together. …But, to we Augments they seem a quaint curiosity, one of the things that seemed to keep Ponies from realizing their full potential. Magic is all very well and good but there’s never enough of it to go around when it comes to building a progressive, expanding civilization. Besides, technology is reliable. Hard work with ones hooves and brains made Earth the place it is today, right? …But when I looked at that banner I had to wonder if there wasn’t something more. In the end whether my ancestors were right or wrong is moot. All our kinds survived the Wars, some more intact than others, and we nearly lost our Homeworld in the process. Were both sides right? Wrong?

Sunny chose that particular moment to take my hoof. (Is it a Alicorn trait that seems to tip her off to my moods, or is it just Love? …There’s so much I have to learn about the old Homeworld!) “We’re Home, Starry! I canna wait t’ show ye ‘round!”

Word of our arrival had obviously preceded us. As the chariot slid to a stop in front of the soaring central Keep I saw that a preposterous number of ponies in black and white, the Household Staff I was informed, had turned out in neat rows to welcome us. Beyond them were Alicorns and Unicorns of both sexes in yellow kilts and gleaming white tunics underneath armored battle vests were arrayed, swords on one hip and honest-to-Luna balefire guns on the other! A Guard of Honor!? Wow!

The Welcoming Committee had arranged itself in a double line flanking the stairs that led up to a pair of massive wooden doors bound with bright brass. The doorframe was equally massive and made of white marble. It was crowned with a sculpture of a large Alicorn Mare standing with wings unfurled on a plinth in a wide niche. A huge sword was sheathed at her hip but both her fore hooves were extended palms up from her sides. Her polished golden horn gleamed like Magic in the sunlight. Again …wow.

Below this imposing image, at the head of the stairs, stood a tall, burly Unicorn wearing a yellow-and-black striped kilt and a brilliant white shirt adorned with extravagant cuffs and a frilly front. Amber Rose Alicorne, Laird of Clan Alicorne stood like a benevolent colossus here in the home of his ancestors. Like the Security Troops he wore a sort of open vest over his shirt. His was scarlet red and medals and ribbons adorned the left breast. It occurred to me after a moment that this was part of some outdated military uniform. This was obviously an Old Soldier secure and at ease in his domain. His mane looked like a golden thunderhead and he had incredibly bushy yellow eyebrows above his sparkling violet eyes. Under his chin he sported a double chin-lock of gold that wagged whenever he moved his head. He grinned around a long-stemmed pipe made of some white stone or ceramic and exchanged comments with another Unicorn who stood beside and behind him. This one wore dignified black and white but sported, on special occasions, a yellow silk sash that denoted him as the Head of the Household Staff. Sunny told me that his name was Conn.

Alice was off like a shot the moment Cedar opened the doors like a filly racing to a birthday party! “Dadeeeeee!” She caroled up the short flight with her arms spread wide. In her wake the mares curtsied, the stallions bowed, and the swords flashed out in salute. So much for ceremony. I came up behind as quickly as I could, taking the steps three at a time. Climbing stairs in light gravity is an engraved invitation to have an accident. I smiled nervously at deferential staff nodded at the troops who stared professionally straight ahead until, like troops anywhere, I passed by and gave them a chance to indulge their curiosity.

Amber Rose had already scooped up his daughter and swung her in a squealing circle by the time I arrived. He put her back on her hooves and kissed her cheek before rearing up to his full height to regard me. Horn excluded, he came up about to my collarbone. Yet when he put his hands on his hips and threw his chest out and took me in with wide eyes he somehow seemed so much bigger than life. I suddenly felt like a little filly again meeting a long-lost Uncle.

“Well then! Ah have t’ say that yer pictures dinnae do ye justice! Aye, an’ ye’re an eyeful t’ be sure! So ye’re th’ Lassie that ma little filly’s been a-telling’ me aboot.” He craned his head left and right lightheartedly taking me in, in sections as it were, before stepping back a pace to get the whole picture …the old scoundrel! He tipped me a wink for an instant before stepping up and reaching for my hoof. (Hugging me was topologically out of the question!) He brought it to his lips and kissed it before clasping it in both his own. “Come along inside an’ be welcome among th’ Alicornes, Starry-me-Lass. Welcome t’ Byreland an’ welcome t’ Alicorne Keep!” Hugging Sunny with one arm and guiding me with a hand on my lower back as the huge doors swung open, we came into Alicorne Keep.

Chapter Six- Homecoming

CHAPTER SIX

HOMECOMING

Alicorne Keep was… an experience! Every day was a new day trip. Sometimes into the town, sometimes over to ‘The Continent’, and sometimes just to the forests of The Mountain itself. Places that don’t get mentioned in any guidebook everything from a Stable from the Eugenics Wars in southwest Bittian to a rustic inn in Roamania to a glorious lilac filled glen just north of the Keep itself. More often than not we traveled with one or more of Sunnys numerous and delightfully quirky family members as a guide. (I never suspected the Byrish language had so many variants!) We nearly always were home for dinner, served promptly at six o’clock, for good, solid, simple food served piping hot in a surprisingly homey atmosphere. I had half-imagined Everypony sitting around a huge table with stiff, silent servants whisking course after course away with priceless China and sparkling crystal dishes. While there was a big table involved, the reality of it was that it was oval. Amber Rose sat at one end and Sunny and I sat on his left. Like on the yacht, the servants were like old friends who enthusiastically brought in the food extolling its virtues and exchanging bits of gossip with the Llaird or Sunny. It was clear that I was a Cherished Guest and it took me a while to get used to having all that attention paid to me. Eventually, though, I unbent enough to really enjoy myself. We joked and laughed or enjoyed a good talk at every meal. It was very informal. Amber Rose himself seemed to enjoy having a beer with his dinner, (Real beer, not that thin, gassy, cold stuff from Neighmerica, dark and foamy with just enough apple in it to give it a good bite, yum!) and eating with his elbows on the table. Every night we all retired to the Library for more beer or cider to hear the stories about all the knickknacks on display there or listening while other Family members caught Amber Rose and Sunny up on the doings of their relatives. I would have been happy to stay there forever. The only fly in the oatmeal was my desire to get Amber Rose alone to ask for his daughter’s hoof.

My chance came about a week and a half into our stay. I was getting, by then, a little frantic. My plan ‘B’ was to bring the subject up after dinner when it was just the three of us. As luck would have it, though, there was always some other visiting relative around. There finally came a day, though, when Sunny wanted to go on (Yet another!) shopping trip somewhere in Prance, I think. I begged off and shooed her along, trying not to seem conspiratorial about it. She gave me a long look, knowing something was up but not wanting to press me about it. She promised to bring back ‘something nice’ (Sunny delights in finding new lingerie to model both for herself and for me… since I won’t get anything on my own!) to show me later. She gathered up a few second cousins (It’s no fun shopping alone!) and was on her way. A few minutes later I made my way to the Library and peeked inside.

The Library was Amber Rose’s favorite haunt. If he wasn’t busy elsewhere I knew I could always find him there. Sure enough, he was standing in front of the bay window that let out onto the sprawling garden beyond. He’d filled his ever-present pipe but hadn’t lit it yet, gazing at a sculpture in a corner of the flowerbeds. It was an Alicorn Mare done in dazzling alabaster, the same mare that graced the oil painting above the fireplace. From the painting I knew she had silver-grey coat, a luxurious, golden mane and an elegant silver horn. From Sunny I knew that is was her mother, Amalthea, and that she had died ‘long ago’. From the way the Old Unicorn’s gaze lingered upon her image hundreds of times a day I knew he loved her very much. I wondered what she would think about what I came to ask…

Everything in The Keep was in excellent shape and the door made barely a noise when it opened but Amber Rose heard it nonetheless. His head turned just enough to catch me with one eye. He popped his pipe into the side of his mouth with one hoof and put the other one behind his back. “Nah then, Starry-me-lass! Come along in.” He tried to look over my shoulder. “Is Solar no wi’ ye?”

I exhaled and steeled myself. “No. She’s gone off shopping somewhere.” I paused and fought an impulse to swallow nervously. “I was wondering if you could spare a moment?”

He fired up his horn and a gleaming, golden spark arced away from and made an expert landing in the bowl and brought his pipe to life. He regarded me through the smoke with a quiet smile at the corners of his muzzle. “Sure n’ fer yerself I kin spare whole minutes!” He guided me to a comfy chair next to his own favorite one. Along the way he reached behind and extracted from the bar a heavy, stoneware bottle with an elaborate bail-and-stopper. It bore no label, rather it had a sort of bas-relief of a Unicorn head in profile. He snagged a couple of heavy, crystal glasses and deposited the lot on the little table between the chairs. He sank into the cushions, snagged a footstool with one hoof and dragged it up. He removed his pipe and scratched his nose with the pipe stem and regarded me brightly. “Nah then, Starry. …What’s on yer mind?”

I was literally sitting on the edge of my seat. I’d rehearsed a dozen ways to say it but in the end I couldn’t remember any of them. I wiped my suddenly sweaty palms on my knees and caught the Old Unicorns eyes. The Pony on the Bridge in my head braced herself against the Helm console as I forged ahead. “Amber Rose. …Lord Alicorne.” I took a deep breath. “I want to marry your daughter.” I held his gaze, never flinching. “May I?”

He didn’t reply at first. He only puffed in silence, the smoke dribbling vertically out from around the pipe stem to gather in swirling layers above his horn. Something closed off his expression. The sparkling bonhomie that dwelt there faded away and those enigmatic violet eyes went flat and neutral. The grin that lurked on his lips vanished. He didn’t frown or scowl (I hoped that was a good sign!) he just regarded me steadily. …I had the uncomfortable feeling that I was sitting in his gun sights!

“Is that so, then?” He said quietly. “An’ whose idea is this? Yours or ma daughters?” He waited for a reply while the ornate grandfathers clock at the back of the room ‘tock-tocked’ solemnly. I kept my gaze locked with his and made my reply.

“The marriage is a mutual idea, but I wanted to get your permission first. I …wanted to be sure that all of her family would support her in this.”

“…Ye’re worried aboot Solar’s reputation if she married an …Augment, are ye not?” His eyes narrowed fractionally and the smoke began to jet out of his mouth with each soft breath.

I went cold at that but refused to look away. “Yeah …something like that.”

“An Augment, a ‘Superpony’ …wants t’ marry ma daughter? An’ ye’re lookin’ fer me blessing?” He slowly steepled his fingers and cocked his head ever-so-slightly.

The damning thing was that, if the positions were reversed, I’d be reluctant, too. Sure, we could elope. …But I didn’t want Sunny to lose her Family in the process. I couldn’t do that to her. I said the only thing I could think of.

“I love her, Lord Alicorne. And she loves me. I just want to do …the honorable thing by her and hers.”

That seemed to give him pause. “Well, there’re none who’d fault ye fer yer intentions. Tell me, though. …What if Ah were t’ say ‘no’?”

“…Don’t make me make that choice, Lord Alicorne. …Please.” I’ve never pleaded for anything in my life before. And only for Sunny will I. I didn’t have the mystic megawatts in my eyes that Sunny did, but I poured my heart into them toward Amber Rose.

“Ah. Th’ ‘honorable thing‘again, innit?” His eyes strayed to the portrait over the fireplace and a sparkle of …something… stole into those violet eyes. He seemed to draw strength, or resolve, from the image. His eyes came back to mine with more than a ghost of their former benevolence. I realized, suddenly, that I’d been holding my breath.

Amber Rose took his pipe out and scratched the top of his nose with the stem before continuing. “Ye ken, Ah always tried t’ raise ma little Solar right. T’ do th’ right thing. …N’ Ah’m gittin th’ uncomfortable feelin’ that Solar’s no been doin’ th’ honorable thing in regards t’ yerself.” He replaced his pipe deliberately and looked at me with what I can only describe as guarded sheepishness. The clock impassively ‘bonged’ the half-hour.

For my part I was completely taken aback. “I …don’t understand.” A sudden thought struck me like a photon torpedo. “Wait! Are you saying that she’s already married!?”

Amber Rose choked on his smoke! He waved his hands dismissively until he recovered from his coughing fit. “Nay! Nay! Great Solar-Flarin’ Celestia! Whatever made ye jump t’ that conclusion?” He recovered his aplomb after a moment and continued.

“How old d’ye ken ma Solar t’ be?”

The Little Mare in my mind sat back in her Command Chair utterly perplexed! The confusion was passed straight along to me.

Just then it occurred to me that Sunny had been coyly evasive about her age. I always figured that she was about my own age … maybe just a couple of years younger. Still …I wasn’t by any means a perfect judge of age among Alicorns. Hell, I’d only been on this planet a few weeks! She could be flighty, naïve about some of the baser aspects of other Ponies, impulsive, and sometimes downright immature in her reasoning… A second torpedo hit home and I sat bolt upright, blushing!

“Hol-lee Luna! She’s underaged?!” Oh this was going to look sooo good on my Service Record…!

Amber Rose sighed, shut his eyes, and silently worked his pipe from one side of his mouth to the other. …I think he was quietly counting to ten. He eventually opened them and regarded me patiently.

“Fer a Scientist ye tend t’ be more thin a wee bit o’ a pessimist, Lass! Now take a deep breath r’ two an’ calm yerself doon a bit.” He waited a few seconds, watching me closely. “Na then. Come October, Solar will be celebratin’ her two-hundreth n' twenty-ninth birthday. Ah’m not jestin’ nor jokin’.”

…The little Mare on the Bridge was frowning at her readouts. I blinked a couple times slowly, trying to make sense out of the turn of conversational events. I finally had to admit, “I …don’t understand. Sunny is two hundred and twenty-nine years old?”

“In October.”

“OK! Two hundred and twenty-eight then!” I winced and rubbed my forehead, closing my eyes. I sighed heavily and glared back at Amber Rose crossly. “Look! I didn’t just fall off the ore cart you know. If Sunny, er, Solar is two hundred and twenty-nine…”

“Two twenty eight, till October. ‘ Tis all in the facts, ye ken.”

I bit back a colorfully obscene remark with a real effort, reeling with a sudden burst of anger that almost immediately melted away into heartbreaking grief. I couldn’t speak for several anguished seconds. Finally, I turned to look at Amber Rose with hot tears dimming my vision.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked quietly, damning the quaver in my voice. “Because I’m an …Augment? If I’m not good enough for Solar then just say so! But don’t cook up some idiotic cock-and-bull story about her to insult my intelligence…”

Amber Rose yanked his pipe out and stabbed the stem at me. His voice was quiet as ever but his horn burst into brilliance with the force of his emotion.

“Hoosh!” He sat up and leaned forward and got right up into my face close enough that I could smell his cologne. “Now listen, Lassie! Ah. Never. Joke. Aboot. Anythin’. Concernin’. Me. Little. Filly. Ye ken?” He locked eyes with me sternly while a golden nimbus of light pulled open a drawer of the side table and extracted a slim rectangle of plastic and artificial sapphire. I recognized it as an expensive padd. He jammed his pipe back into his mouth and puffed energetically. He released my eyes and bent over the device and began poking at it rapidly with both forefingers as I sat, confused, heartbroken, and angry. I hated myself for doing it, but I sniffed and dabbled the tears from my eyes.

Amber Rose paused and looked up from what he was doing. The Old Villain had the decency to look regretful at least. He worked his pipe over to the other side of his mouth and plucked a yellow-and-white hanky from his sleeve. He offered it to me and I turned away from him in sheer spite. Something soft settled onto my knee.

“Here ye go, Lass.” He said gently. “…I’m no th’ monster ye ken Ah am. There’s summat ye ought t’ ken afore ye ask fer ma daughter’s hoof. Summat ye ought t’ have been told by now, Ah might add! If Ah’m angry wi’ anypony Ah’m angry wi’ young Solar. Yon filly desairves t’ hae her backside warmed up, she does.” His voice had become distracted. Whatever he was accessing was taking up his attention. “Na then!” He said triumphantly. “As Ah said afore, ‘tis all in th’ facts. Aye, well, here’re th’ facts!”

I turned back to him timidly. My eyes fell on the hanky draped over my knee and I took it up and dried my tears and blew my nose just like a little filly, damnit! Amber Rose held the padd out to me.

He’d accessed a database. More specifically, he’d called up a copy of a Birth Record from ‘Saint Amber’s Hospital’ for one Solar Cross Amalthea Alicorne born October 15th… 1988!

I don’t know how long I stared at it. Eventually I just looked at Amber Rose.

“Family Archives. Ye have Starfleet access. Check wi’ St. Amber’s yerself. Th’ buildin’ was bombed t’ bits durin’ th’ War, mind, but they still hae their records backed up elsewhere. Ah’ll authorize it.” He sat back again emptied the ash from his pipe, tapping it on the edge of a crystal ashtray with a bonging sound that mimicked tha ancient clock along the wall. He drew up a jar of tobacco and filled it again, this time he lit it with a brilliant spark from his horn. He puffed quietly, waiting for me to say… something.

I did try to say something, but my throat had gone dry. I swallowed and tried again. “OK. I’ll check this later. Assuming this is real…” He grinned around his pipe stem. “ …How could it be?”

Amber Rose puffed a few more times while the clock tocked on. “How long do Alicorns live, Lass? T’ be sure there’s Alicorn blood in me veins. Me ever-so-great Granny was an Alicorn name o’ Cadence. Th’ Superponies wanted th’ ‘Immortality Gene’ ,as they called it, fer themselves. No Alicorn would give it t’ them. …They were less than happy wi’ that.“ Then, “Solar… Sunny… never told ye how her Mother died, did she?”

I numbly shook my head.

“Let me tell ye a wee story then. It was th’ Winter o’ ‘91. Nineteen Ninety-One, ye ken. That bastard Khan n’ th’ psychopath Colonel Green gathered up their Superpony cronies n’ declared that only th’ ‘Genetically Superior, Optimal,’ Ponies were fit t’ rule th’ world. Th’ rest o’ us, Unicorns, Pegasai, Earth Ponies,’ th’ Alicorns, Dragons, an’ whatnot were t’ be ‘reconstructed’ (Aye! There were some that took ‘em up on that. Fer genetic ‘modification’. None o’ yon were ever seen again! Summat th’ History Books dinna mention any more, eh?) …or exterminated. We were less than animals to that lot, ye ken.”

I stirred, about to protest, but Amber Rose bade me settle down. “Ah ken, Ah ken! Terra Three had launched th’ year before. How they vilified yer Forebears for that! They hated them worse than us fer they were ‘traitors’, ye ken.! (I started! I had no idea of that. We were out of contact with all of Earth but nothing in the databases even hinted that the Colonists were at odds with the Augments that stayed Behind.) Anyroad, ye kin imagine that yon didnae sit well wi’ th’ rest o’ us. …I was Colonel Alicorne then, o’ th’ Royal Infantry. (Ma Cousin, th’ Alicorn Queen Beryl, was th’ Queen o’ Th’ Realm then, ye ken.) Th’ United Pastures declared War an’ we were bein’ deployed t’ Zebrica t’ contain th’ Cadre forces there. Ah’d boarded, wi’ me troops, submarine transport at Southstampton docks. It was seven o’clock in th’ mornin’, ma Amalthea had come t’ see me off. Little Sunny was in Coventry wi’ ma Sister sound asleep. She was only a wee thing o’ three.” His gaze wandered back to the portrait over the mantle and puffed in silence a few moments.
It was a family portrait done, I suddenly realized, in this very room. I recognized the window and the clock. A scarcely-changed Amber Rose stood next to the statuesque Amalthea who had one wing curled around him. In the crook of her arm she carried a tiny foal that lay clutching a dolly. Their smiles were a light that shone from a different world… “We weren’t barely underway. Maybe a hundred, hundred-twenty feet down when all th’ lights went out. Most o’ the emergency lights came on an’ there were any number o’ electrical fires. Ah didn’ have t’ be Sailor t’ ken that summat was badly out o’ whack! Th’ Exec ordered Emergency Surface but th’ Captain held us at periscope depth. After a bit he let me look…

Amalthea n’ all th’ other wives n’ lovers were standin’ on another pier, wavin’ us farewell. There was a light rain that mornin’ an’ she was soaked through. They all were. Oh, Celestia! How th’ dress clung t’ her wet body! Th’ hardest thing Ah did in me life till then was t’ go into sub.” Amber Rose tried in vain to catch his wife’s eye in the portrait. How many times had he tried over the years? The greatest part of his tears had been shed long, long ago but there was a bright glimmer in his gaze as he tried again…

“When Ah looked it was dark. Dark as night. Yet there was light o‘a sort. Where she stood… where they all stood… was glowin’ slag. No buildins’ just… junk lyin’ ‘round lookin’ burnt n’ dusty. Beyond was smoke as far as eye could see. All of it, a braw, great brown wall rushin’ straight up into th’ black, black sky. Green Witchfire danced on th’ waters n’ th’ wreckage. Twenty. Megatons. O’ Balefire. Afterwards Ah heard that there was three whole minuets warnin’. What must’ve it been like for her? Where was there t’ go?” He ground his teeth slowly.

“In twenty hours three out o’ five Ponies in all th’ World died. Th’ Superponies had declared Total War, ye ken. What th’ Balefire didna kill the Radiologic, Biologic, n’ Mutagenic weapons ravaged. We did unto them th’ same way. In Neighmerica n’ th’ United Kingdoms there’d been underground Stables made. A hundred thousand or so made it inside. Th’ rest o’ us fought on.” The old Unicorn tore his gaze away and rubbed each eye with a thumb before looking at me again.

“There’s many who tell us Th’ Goddesses went away long ago t’ leave us t’ ourselves after bestowin’ th’ Last Gift.” He took his pipe out of his mouth for a moment and regarded the hoof that held it. “But if They were gone, who kept th’ rest alive? Aye, too many innocent Ponies died but it was naught short o’ a miracle that any lived. There was a Divine Wing somewhere that sheltered th’ survivors an’ Ah’m grateful fer it every day that ma Sunny lived.” Amber Rose shook himself, ridding himself of clinging nightmares, and picked up his story.

“Ah lived on an’ fought. Ye’ve fought Romulan ships, but I killed Superponies, robots, mutants, n’ half-starved, disease-ridden, wretches who wanted our food n’ water n’ guns. Ah killed Ponies that, if we had th’ resources, we might’ve saved. They were th’ worst of all. Ye have no idea, no idea at all o’ Total War.”

I held my peace. True, no Pony had ever met a Romulan muzzle-to-muzzle. But Starfleet ground troops did go hoof-to-hoof alongside their allies and I’d been part of many landing parties helping to set up refugee camps. I’d been forced to fire on rioting civilians as well as looters and gangs of raiders more often than I ever wanted. …But I never lost what Amber Rose did, or seen what he had seen. At least we didn’t fight our enemies on Earth.

“My entire life,” He went on, “was devoted t’ getting’ just five minutes alone wi’ the arch-bastard Khan. I was a General in 1995 (Easy t’ advance in th’ ranks wi’ so many Ponies dead!) when we broke th’ Superponies n’ drove in on their last strongholds. I fought alongside me troops n’t’ Hell wi’ Military Protocols! Ah wanted him dead by ma hooves, Lass. Not just dead, Ah was gonna skin th’ bugger n’ make him into a rug in front o’ me loo. I would’ve dribbled on him every blessed day n’ used his tail as a toilet brush!” He jetted smoke like a Dragon. “We watched th’ shuttle take off when he rendezvoused wi’ th’ Sleeper Ship in ‘95. Do yer histories tell o’ how he broke orbit usin’ Main Drive? Sprayed half o’ Zebrica wi’ hard radiation out o’ spite! …So Ah never got ma revenge for ma Amalthea. Ah’ll no be happy till somepony finds his desiccated corpse in space. Now yon is a mission fer yer Starfleet!” He pulled on his pipe but it was empty . He began filling it again.

There were a lot of clever, or more tactful, things I might have said then. Instead, “You were going to kill Khan in single combat? Wow.”

He gave me wicked look from under his bushy brows. “N’ why no? Even a Manticore’ll go doon if ye put a few kilowatts o’ plasma in him or even a foot or two o’ good Alicorn steel. Make no mistake, Lassie, if Ah could but have put me hooves on Khan, he’d a been a-choking on his own black blood.” He stuffed his pipe and his horn flared again. A golden spark gleamed in the bowl and smoke jetted out of his nostrils. He fixed me with his eyes again. “D’ye ken ye could take me, Lass?”

I had over two hundred pounds on him as well as Starfleet close combat training. My reflexes, strength, and stamina were designed to be far superior to his own… but I wouldn’t have come near him in a fight if he had both hooves tied behind his back and was embedded in a bucket of ferrocrete!

I cleared my throat delicately. “Point taken.” He chuckled. I forged on. “So… what are your views on Khan’s relatives. We’re all metal from the same furnace.”

He stopped puffing for a second or so and his bushy, golden eyebrows contracted as she scrutinized me. Long moments passed as the clock tocked solemnly…

He exhaled a breath of smoke, almost liquid in its thickness, directly at me. End on, it looked alarmingly like those devastating sublight plasma bursts the Romulans fielded against us. An arm’s length away I puffed a breath of air at it and it swirled upon itself and came apart. (Would that the real ones could have been fended off so easily!) The Old Unicorn stirred in his chair…

“Aye…’metal’s’ th’ right word. There’s steel in ye, Lass. Yer an Earth Pony t’ yer core.” He paused and his expression softened a bit. The scowl born of the Eugenics War left his face and an element of sheepishness peered out from around the borders. “Yon was long, long ago. Still hurts. Ah canna forget. Ever. But these days there’s naught fer me t’ forgive, ’tis there? In th’ end we all must take folk on a Pony-by-Pony basis, eh? Anyroad…”He relaxed in his chair once again. “ Ma Sunny thinks th’ world o’ ye and Ah like t’ think th’ Little Filly’s inherited th’ Old Stallions’ knack fer bein’ a good judge o’ Pony character.” The grin I thought I‘d never see again quirked his lips. “Welcome t’ Family, Starry-ma-Dear.” He rubbed his nose with the pipe stem again with an improbably innocent expression on his face. “…Ah daresay Sunny’ll be relieved. Ye were cutting’ it mighty close, Lass. We were beginning’ t’ think ye’d never ask!”

…And the jolts just kept coming! “Wait, what?” I looked at Amber Rose who only laughed silently around his pipe. I facehoofed and groaned. “Who else knows?”

Amber Rose reveled in his glee. “Well the Postmare n’ th’ Milkpony r’ out o’ th’ loop… Ah think! Sairtanly nopony outside o’ Family knew, which means everypony inside th’ Keep did! Ah’m no supposed t’ let on, but th’ Staff had a bit o’ a pool goin’. Ye’ve made th’ Cook an hundred credits richer!” He blew a few expert smoke rings. “For th’ record, Ah didna place bet. Wouldna been ethical, ye ken.” He hooted quietly to himself while I sat there feeling like a chump.

“Och, now! Dinnae be so glum, Lass! Yer too honest n’ open t’ be sly n’ sneaky-like. May ye never change! Come along, then! Let’s have a wee drink t’ celebrate!” His Magic undid the bail and stopper and the stoneware bottle decanted a few inches of a golden-amber liquid into each of the heavy glasses. I eyed the stuff curiously. He reached over and handed me one. “’Tis ‘Auld Hornsgleam’, Lassie. Good Byrish uskebaugh, what th’ Neighmericans call ‘whiskey’. Ye sip it now, ye dinna toss it back like some Appleoosan cowpony!” He demonstrated, pouring a quarter-inch of the stuff into his mouth and swirling it ‘round reverently before swallowing. He smacked his lips in utter delight. “Ahhh! Mother’s milk! Ninety years old if ‘tis a day. Bet ye never had th’ like back in th’ Colony, eh?”

I raised the glass and took a cautious sniff. Like I said, we’re a beer and cider crowd on Equestris. During the War I’d sampled a lot of stuff from Engine Room Hooch to exotic liquors from a double-dozen other worlds. My Augmented physiology kept me from any permanent harm but I never really got a taste for the hard stuff. I was dubious… but the stuff smelled appley enough with an oddly enticing smoky, woody sort of tang to it. I inwardly shrugged and had a sip. No harm in being polite…

The stuff seemed to evaporate as soon as it hit my tongue! My sinuses rocked with the strong but not unpleasant flavor. I gasped in surprise and I felt a soothing coolness go deep into my lungs…

“…Wow!”

Amber Rose chuckled and drank some more. “Aye, well ye see what Ah mean then!” He settled back into his chair then and put his hooves back up on the stool. “Na then! We’ve a good bit o’ time afore Sunny gets back. What d’ye say we sit n’ swap lies n’ stories, eh?”

I took a bigger drink, enough to make sure enough remained to be actually swallowed this time. I sat back in my own chair, more utterly relaxed than I’d ever been this particular morning.

“That sounds like a great idea. …Lord Alicorne. Thanks, …for everything.”

The Old Unicorn snorted smoke and waved a hoof dismissively. “Na then! Call me ‘Amber Rose’ or, better yet, ‘Amber’ , Lass. In a few days ye’ll be callin’ me ‘Daddy’ if ye’d like, eh?” He smiled warmly. “Lemme tell ye ‘bout ma wee Solar Cross Amalthea…”

…But he would always be Amber Rose to me ever afterwards, more a good, dear friend than an in-law. Of course, we had our differences but they only brought us closer. It may have been the uskebaugh, but I always felt that, for this last old soldier, the Eugenics War ended that morning…

How could you not love a Family like that?

We talked the rest of the morning and the bulk of the afternoon away, Amber Rose telling me tales of things and places I’ve never even heard of (And, I’m sure, never showed up in ’official’ databases!) while I regaled him with the events of Equestris Colony and the rest of my family. Whenever my glass got down to less than a splash he filled it again… and again and again. Somewhere in there a light lunch, sandwiches and finger food, were brought in and duly consumed… with more uskebaugh, of course! Eventually I was sprawled bonelessly in my chair. I don’t remember doing it, but my own hooves were propped on a stool as I sat there wrapped in a cozy, warm blanket of glorious inebriation. We both were grinning like fools. Amber Rose’s muzzle was flushed pink and his pipe drooped carelessly when it wasn’t bobbing up and down when he spoke. Eventually he heaved a great, contented sigh.

“Lasshie, Ah do believe that we… have become schtuperously… drunk!” He observed brightly.

My arms, like the rest of me, felt like they were being operated by remote control. I watched my arm raise my glass. “Schtuperously!” I agreed, and giggled. The Little Mare in my head frowned at her readouts… and giggled, too!

The Old Reprobate giggled as well, nearly losing his pipe in the process. Reaching over, he picked up the bottle and shook it.
“Well thin! Only a wee bit t’ go in here.” He blinked at it blearily, apparently forgetting where he was going with this, then, “Och! We may as well… finish it off, eh? ‘Tis th’ decent thing t’ do t’ put this poor ol’ soldier out o’ his misery.” Solemnly he weaved his way over and managed to fill my glass to brimming, spilling just a little and making us both hoot and cackle like loons! He topped off his own then tilted the bottle to his lips and poured in what was left, causing him to plop backwards into his chair prompting another round of inebriated hilarity. For the record, he never lost a drop! The bottle ended up on the floor next to him, the deep carpeting alone keeping it from shattering.

“Hey, Am…bosh! Ambross…Amber!”

“Eh?” The Lord of the Alicorne tried to focus in my direction.

“… I’m drunk!” I broke up, slain by my own wit! Amber Rose hooted and pounded his knee. Wow, I was funny! I waved my free hand wildly. “Thass… thash…Waitaminnet!” I took a breath and plowed on. “Wha I wanted to know is…uh… oh, yeah! How do you keep from catching on fire drinking this stuff, anyway? Thish schtuff is practically hyperglok…hypergolk… hypergolic!” I collapsed into my chair exhausted at that effort at coherency… and giggled!

He drew himself up proudly and intended to wave a hoof dismissively… and ended up looking like he was fending off an angry bee! “Oh, dinna fash yesel’ ‘bout me, ma bonnie Lash! Ah’ve had years n’ years n’ years n’ years n’ years o’ ‘sperience!” To demonstrate he dug his pipe into the jar and jammed a careless wad of tobacco in with his thumb. He brought it back up with festoons of the stuff hanging over the sides and put it carefully in the center of his mouth. Squinting cross-eyed at it, he fired up his horn. A gleaming, golden spark leapt off it and swirled around, diving at and missed the bowl again and again, finally landing on target. He puffed it alight quickly and beamed! “Aye! Y’ see? Second nature t’ me! Easy as fallin’ off log!” He accepted my boozy cheers gracefully, then cussed as a few glowing sparks landed in his lap.

We were still laughing about that when the door behind up popped open. Sunny sailed into the room.

“Here you are! Why would ye be a-shuttin’ yourselves in on such a glorious day, I’ll never know. …” She stopped dead and gaped when she saw her Father grinning and blinking at her. I waved and patted my lap. “Hey, Sunny! Have a seat!”

“Oh, Daddy! How could you?”

“Tut, tut, lil’ Filly!” Amber Rose strove to look dignified, an effect that was spoiled as a stray lock of his mane fell into his eyes. The Old Hero rose to his hooves with nary a hitch… though he did sway a little when he got there. “Starry n’ Ah have been have bin havin’ oursels a grand bit o’ a talk while ye were out, fine, bonnie Lass that she is! Come mornin’, whin she’s feelin’ up t’ it, she’ll have summat t’ ask o’ ye.” He gestured his daughter to come closer and, after a couple of tries, laid a forefinger alongside his nose and stage-whispered conspiratorially, “I s’pect ye’ll be pleased t’ hear what, eh?” He straightened up with and efforts, staggering back half a pace. He tugged at the bottom of his shirt to smooth out the wrinkles and dislodged the stray ash and tobacco there. “As fer mesel’…” He declared. “Ah could do wi’ a wee bit o’ fresh air n’ stretch me legs. Ah have news t’ pass along t’ Cook, anyroad. N’ there’re plans t’ be made! Leave it t’ Daddy, m’ Dear!” Missing her cheek, he gave Sunny a peck on her ear. He stood up again, facing away from me. “Starry? Where’d ye get to, Lass?”

“Here!” I caroled, waving!

“Ah! There y’ are! Ye shouldnae be scootin’ ‘round like that in yer condition, ye ken” He took a couple unsteady steps over and bent to kiss the top of my head, causing me to break out in two hundred proof tears. “Ah’ll be a-leavin’ ye t’ Sunny’s tender mercies, thin. Ah have work t’ do!” He took a deep breath, threw out his chest and weaved his way to the Library door, reaching out for the knob right about the time he banged into it. He ‘harrumphed’ in an annoyed way and exited, Sunny glaring daggers at him all the way.

I, unfortunately, chose that moment to giggle again.

“Your Dad’s a great guy! I wish he could meet my Daddy. I think they’d hit it off!”

“Feh!” Sunny snorted. “Daddy n’ his bloody firewater! Oh, Starry, look at you! Ye’re a mess! Honestly! Come along, let’s get you t’ bed!”

“Whoopee! Let’s go!” The Mare in my head wobbled over to the con and started pushing buttons and frowned when nothing happened… “Uh-oh!” I said quietly.

“What?” Sunny asked sharply. “Ye’re no goin’ t’ be sick, are ye?” She scrambled to fetch a wastebasket.

“No… nothing like that. Gimme a minute…” I tried to get up, the Mare in my head trying her console again. She gave it a thump and shrugged. Wobbling back to the Command Chair, she plopped down and composed herself for a nap. “I, uh… can’t move. Wow. …What’s in this stuff, dilithium?”

Sunny facehoofed. “Celestia n’ Luna gi’ me strength!” She drew a breath and shouted, “Nutmeg! Heather! Anypony!” I winced.

The door opened almost immediately and Nutmeg, the mauve-and-yellow Unicorn who saw to our rooms bustled in closely followed by a younger Filly whose name I couldn’t recall.

“Lend us a hand here, please. Och, an’ spread th’ word that ‘th’ Master’, “She fairly spat the term. “ Is in his cups again. Have Cedric lock up th’ garage ‘fore th’ Ol’ Bloody Bugger does somepony a mischief!”

“All took care of, Mum! Which we’ve been a-watchin’ since the two of ‘em sat down. He’s in his office a-makin’ calls n’such. I had a nice pot o’ strong tea sent in wi’ him. He’s seems t’ be mighty pleased aboot summat. Eeee, I’m a-thinkin’ she finally asked n’ he said ‘yes’! We’re so happy!”

“…I’m right here!” I muttered grumpily around a numb tongue.

“’Course ye are, Ducks! There now!” Nutmeg patted my head. I was indignant but couldn’t do much about it.

“She better had!” Sunny lost a lot of her crossness as she caressed my cheek. “Oh, Starry! What am I to do wi’ ye?” She sighed. “Well, there’s not much else for it. Ye take her feet an’ we’ll get her up t’ room. An’ you!” She tapped the end of my nose to get my attention. “Don’t be a getting’ in t’ habit every time we come t’ visit. I love ye, but yer no sort o’ drinker! Right, then!” Her horn flared to life and I was cocooned in her magic. I might have been a seat cushion for all the effort they needed to maneuver me upstairs…

By the time they turned the bed covers down I was beginning to drift off to sleep. Somewhere in there Nutmeg was, I hope, dismissed. I was undressed and put under the covers. …The last thing I remember was Sunny bending over me, her horn glowing in the dimness. She touched my forehead with it and everything went blank.

I came to with a start. Sunny was snoring softly in her customary position pillowed on my right breast. The clock on the bedstead informed me it was 4:05 in the morning. I was wide awake and alert, apparently no worse for the alcoholic wear…

I slipped away to the bathroom and, eventually, took a look at myself in the mirror. No bloodshot eyes, no nausea, no headache, aside from the bad taste in my mouth I might have just imagined the whole episode. I remembered reading that some Ponies were tinkering with the concept of synthetic alcohols but I never heard that they were approved for Equine consumption. I seriously doubted an old campaigner like Amber Rose would ever consider them an any rate! I used some mouthwash and considered the frowning mare in the mirror. Right.

I slipped back into bed and put Sunny back where she was as gently as possible. She merfed and grumbled a little before snuggling back in. I kissed the top of her head. “There’s a lot you’re not telling me, Princess!” I whispered. “But I love you, anyway.” I lay back and managed to doze until she finally awoke.

When we came down for breakfast, every Pony who could find the slightest excuse was milling around the dining room. Amber Rose was tucking in with gusto no worse for wear, himself. (A Alicorns horn can work on himself, apparently!) Nutmeg served me herself with a knowing sparkle in her eyes and there were more assorted nephews, nieces, and cousins than usual. Everypony seemed to be in an especially good mood. All eyes were on the both of us and whenever I opened my mouth there was an expectant hush. Hoo-buck!

The parasprite was well and truly out of the bag. Well… two could play at that game!

“Sunny?” …The crowd held its breath.

“Yes?” My Darling perked up and gave me both ocular barrels. …I almost caved in immediately! I recovered just in time, though.

“Would you pass me the toast, please?”

She blinked a couple of times. “Oh! Why, yes, here you go!”

“Thanks!” I took up a couple of slices and slathered on the pale, fresh butter with no regards for the calories. “Mmm-mm!” I munched away happily and the audience made haste to act as if they weren’t paying attention. Amber Rose, for his part, quirked a bushy, golden eyebrow and served himself another bowl of oatmeal with a big dollop of brown sugar and half a quart of cream.

Things quickly fell back into rhythm, my teacup never went dry, the oldest niece began to talk about yesterday’s shopping trip. Sunny shot me glances when she thought I wasn’t looking. I was beginning to enjoy myself. I thought a moment, then…

“Sunny? I want to ask you something…”

She dabbed her lips with a napkin and turned to face me, her hooves dropping demurely into her lap. She looked so heartbreakingly eager that I almost felt bad. Almost.

Everypony went quiet again, all ears straining in our direction…

“I just wanted to ask,” I paused. Amber Rose stopped chewing his oatmeal and looked up expectantly. “…if it would be ok if we went over to see Canterlot today? Be a shame to come to Earth and not see it, after all.”

Sunny’s ears drooped and my poor Dear stammered. “Oh! …Um, s-sure. No problem ‘t’all. We can be there in a couple o’ shakes. R-right after breakfast.” She gulped and grabbed up her teacup, shooting an embarrassed glance at the assemblage over its rim.

Amber Rose frowned silently. Then he gaped silently and his whole face lit up in sudden understanding! He stifled a sudden laugh taking another spoonful of breakfast then, tipped me a knowing wink.

A ripple of uncertainty went through the ranks of the spectators. The youngest niece tugged her mother’s arm. “Momma! I though you said she was gonna-”

“Hush now n’ eat yer muffin!” One of the second cousins snatched one off the tray of an immobilized maid who gave a start and quickly began passing the others out.

“Fan-tastic!” I continued . I snagged a muffin of my own when they went by and demolished most of it in one bite. “These are great! They don’t make ‘em like this back Home!” I beamed widely at the crowd around us who did their level best to act as if nothing was wrong. I blithely pretended not to notice the looks that were passing between them all and finished my muffin. The crowd were beginning to think that they had somehow got their collective wires crossed! Smiling to myself, I refused to look at Amber Rose lest I would fall apart laughing.

Sunny seemed to have lost her appetite and just clutched her tea with both hooves, sipping nervously. Just one more time…

The table conversations resumed falteringly, just a trifle bit too loud and enthusiastically to be normal.

I made a show of facehoofing myself! “Good grief! Whatever was I thinking! Sunny, Dear…?”

“Yes?” She squeaked, barely audible. There was such an adorable expression of hope in her eyes! Everypony in the room, except Amber Rose, held their breath…

“You‘re looking especially beautiful today!” I caroled, and kissed her hoof. I quickly took a deep drink of tea, hiding as best I could behind the cup.

Somepony dropped a cup in the near-silence that followed. Sunny, stunned, only gaped. I snuck a glance over to Amber Rose who by now was doing all he could to be quiet. The old Stallion was pounding one knee silently, tears in his eyes. A couple of the foals were just looking at him, clearly as lost as Sunny was to what was going on!

I propped my elbows on the table and cradled my muzzle in my hooves and grinned at Sunny. “So… Still want to marry me?” I quickly got up and knelt at her hooves, producing the ring an opening the box. My expression became more serious, no easy task with the Lord of the Alicorne whooping like that! “It would mean the Worlds to me, Sunny, if you said ‘yes’.” I offered it to her. “Please?”

“Yer a-littin’ ‘er off too easy, Lass!” Amber Rose guffawed. “Ye coulda kept th’ wee Filly squirmin’ fer a good, long time yet!” He hugged his sides and stomped his hooves in almost indecent glee! “Oh Sunny, Honey! If ye dinna marry her I will! Och, what a Lass! What a Lass!! Sairves us all right, dunnit? Oh, me!” The Lord of the Alicorne paused for some much-needed breath.

Sunny shot the Old Soldier a murderous look before looking at me. Her huge eyes softened and threatened tears but she never said a word.

For my part, I stayed where I was as the crowd, for one last time, held its breath. I cleared my voice and stage-whispered. “You know, in this light gravity I could stay here for hours. …But I’ll stay here till you give me an answer. Will you marry me, Sunny?”

“’Atta girl, Lass!” Amber Rose thumped the table with one hoof. “Th’ Magic’s in th’ askin’! Ye must ask her three times fer th’ Charm!” The assembled Ponies stirred, craning forward in anticipation.

I had no clue as to what he was talking about… and it didn’t matter. If it was tradition so be it, I’d play along. “Sunny, Solar Cross, Love, would you do me the honor of marrying me?”

The tears came into her eyes, displaced by beaming Love! “Oh, Starry! I’ll marry” ye, I’ll marry ye, I’ll marry ye! Yes, yes YES!” She slid off her chair and onto my knee and gathered me up in a fierce hug while Amber Rose raised a yell, the foals ‘yayed’, the adults cheered, and I was cuddled close into the warm heart of the Alicorne.

Author's Note

Perceptive... or suspicious... readers might notice an oblique reference to a certain Ponyfic tie-in with a popular Post-Apocalyptic RPG here. Ever since I came up with this project I thought how neat it would be, in the context of the crossover genre, to meld the world of Fallout with the Eugenics Wars. If I was the sort to indulge in Grimdark stories there could be a slew of stories about Amber Rose's time in the Wars. *Makes a note to look into it*

Chapter Seven- A New Life

CHAPTER SEVEN

A NEW LIFE

The Ceremony was conducted by Priestesses of both Celestia and Luna and it happened at just after dawn with both the Sun and the Moon in the sky. (A Good Omen, for those who reckon these things!) At its climax my left hoof was bound to her right one by two ribbons, one of golden yellow and the other of midnight blue. I kid you not, there were hundreds of Ponies present! Sunny’s relatives and throngs of Ponies from the village turned out to wish us well. I was stunned that the impromptu guest list included, among others, the Tellar Ambassador to the Federation, the Ambassador from Equestris herself, the actress Angel Avallone, (An Alicorn, go figure! Yet another of Alice’s numberless cousins!) and a live video call from Her Majesty the Alicorn Queen Amber III of the U.K.! But the guests that thrilled me the most were the short grey Pegasus Stallion with the grey coat and green-and-white mane and the Earth Pony Mare with the with the dull red coat and brilliant blue mane. Captain Cloud Caper and Merry the Communications Officer from the Hermes! Both were decked out in the new dress uniforms Starfleet was in the process of trotting out. He was resplendent in mustard yellow and gold while she sported a brilliant crimson single piece blouse and (Rather short, by my admittedly prudish reckoning!) skirt combo. I gathered them both up in one-hoofed hugs! Poor Sunny!

“Caper! Merry! Oh, WOW! Damn me for an idiot! I never thought about making up invitations! Say hi to Sunny!” I hugged my new Civil Partner to me, beaming like a foal!

Caper dutifully kissed Sunny’s hoof, she curtsied as best as she could. Merry punched us both on the shoulders!

“Crike! So this ‘ere’s the Sheila ya been keepin’ under wraps, eh? Hey! Congrats to the both o’ ya! Oy’m Merry, yer Ladyship! G’day!” She pumped Sunny’s free hoof vigorously.

Captain Caper cleared his throat to signal Merry to back off, his thick, Rushin accent, as always, only underscoring his gruff voice. “I am Captain Cloud Caper. This is Merry, Chief Communications Officer on Hermes, Mrs. …Eyes?” He rubbed his chin with one hoof and peered upward at the two of us. “Who is who? Are you both Mrs. Eyes or Alicorne. I need to know how to address my officers.”

“Actually we decided to swap last names.” I said. “I’m Mrs. Alicorne and she’s Mrs. Starry-Eyes.”

Caper grunted and shrugged his shoulders. “Hokay then! As long as everypony is happy. Jerry sends regards but could not get away. Ship is only ten days away from launch! You two don’t lose track of time on Honeymoon, da? Many congratulations both of you! Hoopah! Come here, Starry-pushka!”

I leaned down, tugging Sunny with me and Cloud Caper administered a peck on the cheek to both of us. An extremely maudlin display of affection for him!

“Roight! What the Boss Feller said goes for me, too!” Merry chimed in. “But Oy’ll leave all the Mare-kissin’ for you two! Wink-wink, nudge-nudge. Eh? Eh?” She dug me in the ribs with a wink and a good-natured, theatrically lewd grin. “Seriously, though! All th ‘appiness in the Worlds at both of ya! Oy wanna buy ya drinks come Shore Leave, roight? We’ll have a good, proper Pub Crawl to get to know each other, eh? Lookin’ forward to it! Roight now we gotta rub some elbows with the mucky-mucks an’ pick up the data chip to send to yer Pappy back ‘Ome on ‘Questris. Aw, crumbs! That was s’posed to be a secret, wasn’t it? Well act surprised, eh? A wink’s as good as a nod to a blind bat, eh? Eh? Got the ‘ole shindig recorded by way of a weddin’ present. Roight fine feller is that Mr. Alicorne!”

Cloud sighed quietly. “Oy! Come, let us leave Lovebirds alone. New Father-in-Law wants us to have drink to celebrate. We can only stay little while. See both of you onboard, da?” He gave Merry a glower no one who knew him would believe. “Oy! Is too much for Officers to act like professionals? Is not shore leave, try not to make Diplomatic Incident, hokay?”

“Lead on. Boss! Hey, I wonder if Oy could get an autograph from that Avallone Sheila? Eh? Eh?” The two of them trailed away into the throng.

“Oh I do believe I’m gonna like those two, doncha know!” Sunny exclaimed. “…An’ don’ ye ever make fun o’ my accent again, Mrs. Alicorne!”

“Duly noted, Mrs. Eyes! Come on, we’ve got a party to attend… for a little while. Eh? Eh?” I did my best Merry impression and gave her a nudge with my hoof-fasted arm.

Sunny tippy-hoofed to give me a kiss. “Right y’are! Let’s go make our appearance. …An’ don’t ye dare take a drop! I want yer complete attention for… later!” She gave me a mock-severe look, then added in her best Merry impression. “Wink-wink! Nudge-nudge!”

Neither of us were very hungry. We snacked, had some very delicious (Chocolate, of course!) cake and danced and danced and danced. For the record, I never had anything stronger than a Sparkle-Cola… though the uskebaugh and vodka seemed to be flowing freely at the Wedding Table! (I wondered if Amber Rose would do The Horn Trick for Captain Caper?)

We left at mid-morning and were driven by the ever-reliable Cedar to a snug little place up on the Mountain by the shores of a lovely little lake whose name I never learned where I came to find out that Sunny had been pulling her erotic punches all this time. Augmented physiology or no Augmented physiology I was left gasping for breath by the very next morning! During the ensuing week I burned off every single excess calorie I’d ingested on Earth.

Alicorns! Wow!

Author's Note

I know it's been a rather long time but we REALLY are going into space! Stick-a-cupcake-in-my-eye!

Chapter Eight- Goodbyes

CHAPTER EIGHT

GOODBYES

We spent a day saying goodbye to Alicorne Keep and all its dear, eccentric inhabitants. The morning we left for Starfleet I got a hug from Amber Rose I that registered even through all my Augmented anatomy. There were proud, sad, happy tears in the Old Soldier’s eyes as he made the formal farewell in the Great Hall.

“Nah then! Ah’ve got t’ admit that ye Lassies have given me the bonniest n’ saddest time o’ me life so far. Be good t’ each other n’ hurry back home. Don’ be a-doin’ anythin more foolish than situation calls for an’ fer th’ sake o’ Celestia be careful! Dinna try fer any medals, jus’ come back all of a piece both o’ ye or ye’ll find that neither o’ ye are too big fer spankin’! D’ye hear? ….Ah, bugger it! Gi’ me a hug, me Fillies! Ah love ye, aye, we all do. Ah’ll keep a candle a-burnin’ fer each o’ ye in t’ window till ye come home. Celestia n’ Luna both keep ye an’ yer bonnie ship! Good bye, ma Dears!” He turned away and we exchanged hugs and well wishes with what seemed an endless line of relatives and Staff before climbing into the waiting chariot driven by a solemn Cedar.

As we drove past we saw, in the bay window of the Library, two thick, white candles already lit. Behind them, Amber Rose stood with one hoof behind his back. He waved silently with his pipe as we drove away…

We both lost it and cried in each other’s arms until we got to the Transport.

“Hey!” I sniffled, trying to cheer my new bride up. “We’ll be all right, Sunny. Hermes is a great ship. Even better now she’s been refitted! …’Sides, I’d rather fight the Romulans again than piss him off!” I hooked a thumb toward the Keep and mustered the best smile I could.

“Oh, aye! It’s just such a wrench t’ be goin’ ‘tis all. Ah haven’t ever been headin’ so far away from Home before! Ah’ve never been beyond Hospital Ship at Alpha Centauri much less beyond th’ Frontier.” She snuggled into my arms and drew one of my arms across her like a blanket. “Ah’m jus’ bein’ a silly Pony. Pay me no mind, Love. …Ah’m glad Daddy dinna see me go off a-blubberin’ like a foal.”

“Well, he won’t be blubbering when we get back, now won’t he?” I gave her a cuddle. “After all, the War’s over and it’s not like there’s anybody shooting at us anymore! Don’t let the Entertainment Networks fool you. Life on a Starship is 99.999% sheer boredom and routine!”

“Aye, well, let’s hope yon .001% dinna make up for it!” She dabbled the corners of her lovely eyes and settled against me. “Anyroad, it’ll be fun meetin’ all your ‘old shipmates’. “

“In a year’s time they’ll be your ‘old shipmates’, too. Still, there aren’t that many of them left onboard anyway. Captain Caper, Mary, Jerry-Rig the Chief Engineer, a hoof-full of Petty Officers and Boson’s Mates… that’s about all that’s left now that Starfleet’s decommissioned so many ships.” I shrugged. “What with the refit and all it’s going to be a brand-new ship. We’ll be writing a brand-new chapter in Starfleet History!

Sunny gave me a kiss. “Listen t’ ye! Ye’re fair excited at th’ prospect. Well…” She hugged my arm and snuggled closer. “I’m happy just t’ be wi’ ye. Let History write itself!”

Author's Note

By far and away the most concise chapter in the story! We're THIS close to getting into space, promise!

Chapter Nine- Changes

CHAPTER NINE

CHANGES

I shouldn’t have been surprised after seeing Caper and Merry at the Hoof-fasting but, in my defense, my attention was elsewhere at the time! But the new uniforms were a bit too much for my taste! I grumbled and groused at the latest and final style the replicator presented me with.

“Oh for the Love of Faust!” I held up the skirt-and-blouse one piece and eyed it with disgust! “What am I, a Starfleet Officer or a cocktail waitress?” There were exactly three, count them, three styles for crewmares to wear… and all of them incorporated a ridiculously short skirt, the only real difference being in the collar and neckline. …At least the royal blue color for the Sciences was nice.

Starfleet was instigating a new dress code for its officers. Gone were the blue jumpsuits I’d grown accustomed to during the War. In their place the powers-that-be in Starfleet decreed that all Command Officers wear mustard-yellow, Engineering and Support Services would wear red, while Sciences would wear royal blue. (Medical wore a blue variant incorporating a sort of silvery, shimmery sheen to the fabric…Sunny just loved it!) I suppose it made sense to somepony… But just skirts for all the Mares!?

“It’s out-and-out sexism, that’s what it is!” I draped the garment against my nearly-naked self and just growled. “None of these things even go even halfway to the knees!”

Sunny had chosen the model featuring a plunging rolled collar and the shortest skirt she could get away with. (If she bent over to pick up anything she’d cause a riot… Did I mention she favored a thong to go with the thing?) She’d been preening in front of the mirror in our room all the time I’d been thrashing out my choice, styling her mane this way and that way, picking one set or earrings then another, happy as a Tellarite at a political debate!

“Starry, really!” She laughed, not unkindly. “You’re a Mare! Unbend a wee bit an’ let ye’self look like one.”

I freed up a hoof and pointed at my most prominent female features impatiently. “I already look ‘way too female already! Great Galloping Luna do these things have to be so… clingy? Might as well wear a bathing suit!”

“Showing your legs’ll will distract ponies from th’ rest o’ ye, wonnit?” She slipped a golden bangle onto her horn and considered her reflection. She giggled and tried to catch my eye in the mirror. “Though I will concede ye’ th’ point that ye dinna need any sort o’ further enhancement t’ yer, um … upper torso. Don’t think I could stand it if ye did. Not t’ mention all the whiplash n’ neck complaints it’d cause among th’ crew!”

I turned and gave her a reflected glare. “Ha. Ha. Ha. My legs are huge compared to everypony else’s, and my hooves are even bigger. …And that’s another thing! What kind of derp came up with the idea of boots with a skirt anyway? Somepony in the Quartermaster Corps has some sort of fetish…” I wadded the thing up and stuck it back in the replicator for reprocessing.

“’Tis progress. Everthing changes, Starry!”

“’Progress’ my Augmented Ass!” I growled and turned my attention to the display. “There’s got to be some way I can get around this.” I folded my arms defiantly and considered the options while Sunny came by and gave my bottom a companionable pat.

“Dinna be so self-conscious, my Dear! Nopony is a-makin’ fun o’ ye… unless they be a-fancyin’ an extra-special physical next time they come by, that is! Seriously, though, how can ye be in Starfleet an’ still believe Ponies are so shallow that they’d think less o’ ye for bein’ a wee bit fat?”

That jarred me out of my irritation! “Do you think I’m fat?”

“Oh, Starry!” She facehoofed in irritation. “Ye’ve gained a wee bit over three pound since ye came onboard.” She splayed two fingers and prodded me either side of my cleavage playfully. “Right there, as far as I can make out. Not even noticeable considerin’ how big ye are t’ begin wi’.”

“Great! I’m even bigger now! These things are more trouble than they’re worth!” I crossed my arms out of reflex. “… I’ll probably start getting saggy now…”

“Oh fer th’ sake o’ Celestia’s socks!” She gave me a swat on the bottom. “Ye’ve got boobs other Ponies’d kill for! Stop making out that ye’re some sort o’ freak. Honestly, some Ponies! Trust me, Starry-me-Love, ye’re a bloody knockout! …Which makes me the envy of every post-pubescent Pony on board this ship, dunnit?” She batted her enormous, improbable lavender eyes at me and dimpled so cutely that I relaxed and even managed a smile. Sunny has gone a long way toward improving my self-image, for which I’ll always be grateful! Prior to her I always considered my… feminine endowments to be more a hindrance than an adornment.

“Nice try, but I’m still not going to wear a skirt!”

“Oh, bugger! Well, I tried!” She changed tacks. “Well, how about wearin’ hose then? Summat dark t’ make yer legs look slimmer p’raps? Oh! I have it!” She patted one arm eagerly. “Ye’re part o’ th’ Clan now! That means ye can wear a kilt wi’ Family Tartan! Starfleet wilna object an’ ye can wear it as long as ye want it? Hoots! I’m a genius!” She congratulated herself, beaming.

I squirmed uncomfortably. While she had a valid idea the idea of being decked out in a yellow-and white striped kilt made me cringe. I might not have much fashion sense but that color combo coupled with a blue blouse was just too much! … Now how to break the news to Sunny without hurting her feelings…

“I don’t know…” I ventured. Then Sunny gave me a way out!

“Well ye canna dress like a buck, now can ye?”

Why not?

“Why not?” I echoed my thoughts. “Yeah, this could work! Let’s compromise, shall we?” I had a sudden inspiration. “How about I wear a blouse, nothing too daring, and a pair of slacks? If there’s nothing on the menu I could make do with a pair of pants for the time being!” I started punching up the request.

“Oh, Starry!”

I raised a conciliatory hoof. “I’ll wear lacy panties underneath, ok? …Ha! See! There’s nothing that expressly forbids it. Take that, Sexist Starfleet Regulations!”

“Well, half an apple is better’n none I s’pose…”

I called up a pair of black slacks that flared a little at the ends that went a long way toward hiding the obligatory boots as well as a long-sleeved blouse (The winged horseshoe of the Hermes on my left breast and my Cutie Mark patch on the right.) with a big, rolled collar that was roomy enough to de-emphasize my breasts… mostly, anyhow. I modeled my ensemble for Sunny.

“Aye, well, they do set your bottom off quite nicely, don’t they?” She grudgingly admitted, giving them a tug before running her fingers along my nether cheeks. I switched my tail at her!

“Never mind my butt! It’s yours that’s on display, you little exhibitionist!”

“Oh, pish-posh! ‘ Tis underwear an’ ‘tis th’ right color. Anyroad, I’m a-wearin’ a skirt aren’t I?” She replied in her best Sunny-Is-Always-Right voice. “Ye’re th’ one wi’ th’ clothing issues, not me.”

“Only barely! And that’s not underwear that’s floss for your vag-…”

She was saved by the whistle of the comm unit! She stuck her tongue out at me and trotted over to activate it. It was a voice-only message, Merry calling in from the Bridge.

“Oi, you two! Just given’ you the heads-up. Department Heads meeting in Briefing Room One at oh seven forty-five. Be there or be late, eh? See ya there!”

Sunny closed the connection. “About fifteen minutes. Right! How do I look?” She fluffed up her mane some and smoothed out imaginary wrinkles in her outfit. I shook my head wearily and gave her a gently push, crowding her away from the mirror so I could brush my own mane out. Undeterred, she peeked out from behind me and continued preening.

“Oh for goodness sake, it’s a Staff Meeting, not a Social Event you know!”

“No reason not t’ make a good impression, innit?”

“Just try to take this seriously, ok? Can’t you wear something a little less…” I chose my next word carefully. “Salacious?”

Sunny gave me a dig in the floating ribs and stretched up to whisper in my ears. “Yer just jealous tha’ somepony might look at me!”

I found myself blushing! “You lean more than ten degrees off vertical and everypony will be able to look at a lot more than they should!” I retorted, which only made her giggle. (Again, Alicorns!) “And, for the record, I’m not jealous. I trust you implicitly… it’s the other Ponies I worry about!” I leaned down and accepted the kiss Sunny offered and put the finishing touches on my coiffure. She picked up our padds, linked her arm through mine, something I never get tired of, and we made our way out.

The first couple of ships I served in during the War were… cramped. The corridors were only a few feet across and I had to duck my head every time I came through a hatch, nearly getting concussed on more than one occasion when I didn‘t react fast enough. Starfleet built its ships with Terrestrial Ponies in mind back in its beginning. When I was transferred to the original Hermes I was surprised and relieved at the difference. For one thing I could stand up fully erect without my mane brushing the ceiling and there weren’t any of those pesky hatches to negotiate. With the advances in shielding, navigational and otherwise, the chances of a hull breach made all those hatches about as necessary as crash helmets in an old-style ground chariot. The bulkheads still sealed off the ship but, in the case of a catastrophe that made that necessary, hatches wouldn’t have been much use anyway. And the corridors were wider! I didn’t have to turn sideways to let other crew ponies through any more. (Although, in view of my topography, turning sideways only gave the through traffic a ceiling to duck under!)

This latest refit of the Hermes did one better. With only half the wartime crew compliment there were only eighty-five ponies on board, plus or minus a few civilian scientists. Fewer ponies and the latest advancements in building materials meant even more free space. The corridors on the refitted Hermes were big enough to get a full camera crew through. It was almost like walking down a covered street back in Equestris. Each deck had a different color scheme. The corridors and the bulkheads were adorned in different primary colors depending on where you were ranging from red in Engineering to gold on the Bridge. (Sunny and I lived in Officers’ Country on deck 2, Yellow, just for the sake of illumination.)

The Briefing Room was on deck 3 right below us. It seemed pointless going all the way to the turbo lift so we opted to take one of the service ladders instead. I went down first ‘cause I didn’t want anyone looking up Sunny’s skirt except me. It was a tight squeeze but I made it through the deck opening with a minimum of fuss. I plucked Sunny off the last few feet of ladder and set her down to minimize the amount of time she‘d be on display from below. A few yards later we were there.

The doors parted with a muted ‘whoosh’ in the up-and-down pattern that all Equestrian doors shared and I held them open for Sunny. Inside there was one of the new asymmetrical, tetrahedral tables Starfleet designers were trying out. The new ones had a dedicated space at one end for a terminal and an operator as well as a three-sided display screen in the center. Merry was sitting carelessly at the terminal talking with the short cinnamon-brown Unicorn with the white mane and tail across from her, our Chief Engineer, Jerry-Rig. (Nopony could do more with less than him!) Next to him sat a slender Earth Pony Mare with a bottle-green coat and lustrous purple mane that covered most of her face. One of the new faces, our Chief Helm Officer from the Mares Colony, Evee. (The Cutie Mark Patch on her uniform showed an environmental suit!)Across from her was a familiar, if somewhat homely face, our Navigator, Lt. Guiding Star. He was from Neighmerica and was the second oldest Earth Pony onboard beside the Captain and sported a chestnut-brown coat with a bright yellow mane. Next to him sat the last Pony present another old hoof, our Chief of Security Little Rock, a grey Earth Pony Stallion with a short, dark blue mane. Not physically imposing yet an absolute whiz at hoof-to-hoof combat. He never goes armed unless he has to, and if he figures he needs a weapon, the situation must be very bad indeed! Taught me everything I know of close combat! Quiet and unobtrusive, he sits alone even in a crowded room. He looked up and smiled broadly at both of us.

The last Pony in the room wasn’t properly a Pony at all. Along the far wall was a small counter upon sat a tray with a couple of insulated decanters and several cups. Standing quietly in front of this stood a Zebra Mare looking very fetching indeed in her red one-piece. Her black and white mane was trimmed close in a crest and she sported big, gold hoops in her ears and wore what seemed to be a leather cord around her neck upon which an egg-shaped piece of amber hung inscribed with some complicated symbol. The thing was adorned with small crystals and little, discrete feathers on either side. Very exotic on its own, but it was her voice that got my attention. Soft, yet husky, warm and penetrating without raising her voice she commanded complete attention. …Sort of like Sunny’s eyes!

She closed her long-lashed eyes demurely and did a respectful bow. “To make your acquaintance I am pleased as can be. I am the Captain’s Yoemare, Xantippe. I have coffee as well as tea, what would your drinking pleasure be?” She straightened and indicated the tray behind her, clasping her hooves before and waiting expectantly.

I blinked, astounded. I’d heard of the Zebrican penchant for rhyming speech but I never thought I’d encounter it firsthoof !

“Wow! I mean, uh, hello there! I’m Starry-Eyes and this is my wife, Solar Cross. Pleased to meet you, Xantippe, was it?” I offered my hoof and I felt Sunny suddenly go stiff beside me. Sunny took her hoof in turn.

“Charmed.” She stated flatly.

Hoo-buck! “Uh, we’ll have tea, please. Sugar and lemon for Solar and just lemon for me.” I led Sunny to a pair of seats near the head of the table. She made it a point to take a seat between me and Xantippe. Merry, who never misses a thing like this, snickered more-or-less to herself. Jerry-Rig, who hardly ever picks up on things like this, gave her a curious look. If the others noticed they gave no sign.

Xantippe served our drinks and Sunny declined, for both of us, the offer of some very nice looking carrot sticks and sliced apples. It was the Captain’s arrival saved the situation.

He bustled into the room resplendent in his new uniform.

“Hoopah! Everypony is here, da? What does everypony think of new outfits, eh? I think I can get used to!” He fingered the fabric of his sleeve and nodded approvingly. His gaze settled on me. “Ah! I wondered how you would cope with new uniforms! Merry owes me twenty credits. Says you would change mind about skirts after wedding! But I know Starry-Eyes better, eh?” He grunted appreciatively. “Looks good on you, too. You should get commendation for original thinking, nyet?” He grinned briefly then took his place at the head of the table an accepted a cup of coffee from the ever-prepared Xantippe. He grunted a soft ‘thank you’ and turned toward the rest of us.

“So! We are all here at last.” He settled into his chair and adjusted his wings, turning warm eyes all of us. “For those I have not met I am Captain Cloud Caper. I have commanded this ship since it was built during the War, as well as a few other ships before that. I have been in Starfleet for thirty-five years. This will be my last command. I plan to retire after this mission to make room for younger officers to carry on grand tradition of Federation.” All of us old hooves stirred at this. Caper had talked for years about leaving but this was the first official word we had on the subject. The Captain drank deep and grunted something appreciative. He half-turned and offered his cup to Xantippe. “Is good coffee. More where that came from?” She topped up his cup and he turned back toward us. He sipped and his eyes fell on Sunny and Evee. “I see new faces among Command Crew. Introductions are in order, then we hear Department Reports, da?” He gestured with his cup to Sunny. “You I have had pleasure to meet at wedding but others have not. We start with you?”

Sunny rose and treated the room (Managing to ‘forget’ to include Xantippe in the process.) to a smile and the full megawattage of her eyes.

“Thank you, Captain. I am Commander Solar Cross and I will be your Chief Medical Officer… so I expect I’ll be seein’ more of you all in the next few weeks. My specialty is in Genetics but I’m a fully-certified Physician n’ a dab hoof at surgery as well. I’m from Earth an’ this’ll be me first deep-space posting. I hope the lot of ye will be patient wi’ me till I learn th’ ropes!” She resumed her seat and took a dainty sip of tea.

“Well she’s been playin’ Doctor with ol’ Starry-Eyes long enough that she’s gotta have enough experience to take care of the rest of us, eh?” Merry chimed in, laughing. “Got a roight good grasp of Earth Pony physiology by now, Oy bet! Eh? Eh?” Jerry and I both blushed and the Captain rolled his eyes and made a silent appeal to Celestia for strength as the rest of the room smiled at her open bonhomie. Merry was nothing if not playful. For her part, Alice sipped her tea as if she hadn’t heard… though she did waggle her eyebrows a couple of times, eliciting a laugh from Merry and a knowing smirk from the silent Xantippe.

Cloud Caper sighed heavily. “And Ponies wonder why I choose to leave Starfleet. As Captain I get no respect from officers!” His attempt at self-pity got nowhere among those of us who knew him well. Merry grinned her no-hard-feelings grin straight at him. Honestly, those two carried on like an old married couple for as long as we knew them!

He turned to the Mare from Mares. “Lieutenant, maybe you could put us on proper track.”

Evee stood a little self-consciously and addressed the group.

“Well, I’m Lieutenant Evee and I am the Chief Helm Officer. Prior to this posting I served as Helm officer on the destroyers Saladin and Boromir. I come from the Mares Colony under the Maregaritier Terra Dome. This will be my first non-wartime posting. I look forward to getting to know you all better.” She sat back down and tried to look inconspicuous.

Captain Caper nodded. “I knew your Captain on Boromir. A good Pony. Lieutenant was at helm during battle of Charon.”

Captain Rocky Road had not survived the loss of his ship. Those of us who had been through the War turned our gaze to Evee. Charon was the last Romulan offensive. The destroyer Boromir had fought a rearguard action against an undetected force of six Romulan warships. She had been bracketed by the whole group when she engaged them, enabling the rest of the Federation forces to regroup. Unable to go to warp in time she had been subject to repeated attack by those sublight plasma charges I mentioned before. Not twenty-five Ponies were alive when the Federation fleet rallied and counterattacked. Boromir was a complete write-off, the fact that anypony survived at all was due to the masterful maneuvering skills of the pilot. Lieutenant Evee was certainly hiding her light under an apple basket!

Just then, though, she was carefully looking at nothing and trying to tactfully ignore the curious looks directed at her. She wasn’t inclined to talk about it. Fair enough. I had my own memories of the War I didn’t care to dwell on… we all did.

I cleared my throat and prepared to change the subject, but the Captain was half a beat ahead of me.

“Hokay. Now is Department reports. We hear from Science Department first. Go ahead, Starry.” Captain Caper sat back and had another drink.

I didn’t bother to refer to my padd though I placed it in front of me. “The biggest changes to the ship, outside of the engine,” I gave a nod to Jerry. “Have been to the ship’s computer systems and our sensor suite. The new duotronic quantum computer system will give us an almost unheard-of level of automation to basic Ships Systems… which is going to come in handy since we’ll have just a bit more than half the crew we had during wartime. Where once we had one hundred and fifty crew ponies we can now run this ship with eighty-five, with a twenty-five percent increase in efficiency to boot!”

Caper grumbled. “Will make Federation bean counters happy, da?”

“Keeping the bureaucrats off our backs will make us all happy, now won’t it?” I reminded the old Pegasus who conceded the point with a grunt and a shrug. Captain Caper’s intolerance of bureaucracy was legendary on the Hermes. Though all the old hands quietly chuckled I didn’t even crack a smile as I forged on. “Our database is vastly improved as well. We’ll have access to an incredible amount of information on a wide variety of subjects. Something that will come in very handy indeed when we’re out on our own. It’s my understanding that, eventually, the entire Federation database will be available on future ships. Still, the amount of information we’ll have at our disposal will be nothing short of amazing!

And, speaking of amazing, the upgrades to our already enhanced sensors are going to give us an astounding edge on our ability to detect and gather information. We have equipment onboard that’s better than most stationary observatories. If nothing else we’re going to make significant contributions to Federation Astronomy. I’m quite excited about this and my staff are already applying for sensor time to further their own studies. As am I. Maybe I can get my Doctorate if I can get enough data on this trip!

Anyhow, we’ll be breaking in some new equipment Starfleet wants to field-test. Namely a nifty-sounding combined scanning and analysis instrument called a ‘tricorder’ for on-the-spot data gathering. How we use them will determine the protocols for future applications, just another of the growing series of firsts this ship will be responsible for.” I smiled wryly. “Sciences will busy all right, but we’re ready. And that’s my report.”

Caper nodded then Merry, invariably, spoke up.

“Ol’ Starry’s gonna be like a foal in a candy store, ain’t she?”

“Well, “Alice quipped, “Intellectual calories don’t count so she can indulge as much as she wants… as long as she doesna put in too many late nights in front of a telescope that is!”

“I dunno, Doc! Them new sensors an’ such might be givin’ ya a lot of competition fer ol’ Starry’s affections, eh?”

“Just as long as she keeps confines herself to star-gazing she’ll be all right.”

Merry hooted and I gave Solar a little kick under the table that she primly ignored. Captain Caper pursed his lips and regarded her with a neutral expression for a second.

“What of Medical Department, Doctor Cross?”

“I have a Doctor and two nurses available on each shift, er, watch, that is. In an emergency t’ entire staff is on call, of course. Our Medical Database is expanded to cover non-terrestrial as well as terrestrial ailments n’ procedures. O’ course, we expect t’ be adding’ to them durin’ th’ trip… er, voyage. Och! I’m no sort o’ sailor I’m afraid, though I will try t’ get better at pickin’ up th’ lingo.”

“No worries, Doc! Oy can teach ya how to talk right proper. You’ll sound like an Old Spacer in no time!”

The Captain looked mildly alarmed. “Celestia forbid!”

Sunny gave Merry a warm smile and a demure look. “Thank you but th’ Commander’s been a bonnie good teacher so far.”

“Oi bet she has! Eh? Eh?” Merry chortled an gave me a wink. For my part I just wanted to slink away and hide…

Caper sighed tiredly. “Thank you, Doctor. Medical Department is in good hooves. Have read your record. Is very good.” He flicked his gaze over to Evee. “For benefit of new officers I add that most of our meetings are not so…” He skewered Merry with his eyes. “ casual. This is Starfleet ship, not a tramp freighter.”

Merry held up a hoof in surrender. “Roight! That’s me cue to zip it. Just let me say to you new lot don’t moind me. All kiddin’ aside, this ‘ere is a great little ship, even with all the muckin’ about with all the new bells an’ whistles, yer chances of comin’ back in one piece from this little walkabout are a lot higher with these ‘ere foyne Ponies runnin’ things. Ya can’t ask fer finer shipmates an’ that’s a fact! Oh, “She waved a padd toward the Captain. “ All the technical stuff’s in ‘ere but the straight of it is that Communications is all set and ready to go. Just give us the word, Boss!” Unrepentant, she lounged in her seat and offered smiles all around.

Captain Caper harrumphed and turned to Jerry.

I always liked Jerry. He’s rather shy, not comfortable talking in groups outside of his Engineering Crew. Probably the most socially awkward pony onboard outside of myself he generally keeps himself busy fine tuning the Ship’s systems. (Being short, he’s more comfortable in a Jiffy Tube than most others, something I’ve always been envious of!) Yet he’s never afraid to try something new and is Merry’s most constant companion on shore leave which, given Merry’s taste in R&R, is a tribute to his tenacity! Not surprisingly, he’s a techie and helped me cobble together more than one specialized widget for my Department no matter how busy he was. He’s good-hearted and thoughtful and an all-around good buck, the little brother I never had!

He nodded pleasantly to all assembled. “Hi, everypony. I’ll try to be brief. Ahem.” His horn lit up and his padd took up position in front of his muzzle. “The work on the Advance Second Generation Warp Drive Refit is complete and all the ship’s systems have been integrated successfully. I can state with full certainty that, for the first time in its operational career, Hermes have power to burn!” The biggest Achilles heel of the Scout and Destroyer design has been the fact that the ships could either move fast or power their systems fully, never both. For Scouts it wasn’t as much of a problem. With minimal armament our biggest power commitment came from our sensors. While this left us very nimble it didn’t give us many options in a fight… not that we didn’t try! The brutal fact was that we more often than not had to stay off to the side, using our powerful sensor suites to provide electronic countermeasures to aid our fellow ships. In reality, as it turned out, we were more often than not forced to go head-to-head with the Enemy. The Destroyer-Class ships had it a lot rougher. They were designed to be front-line fighting ships with four full phased-balefire banks and four photon torpedo launchers as well as heavier shielding. The idea was to come into battle with all weapons fully charged, deliver a devastating attack, then dart away to recharge before coming in for another pass.

To give the designers their due, the keels for the new disk-and-nacelle ships were already laid before the War. A very well thought out and workable design it was, too. Far superior to the older models… but one that did not count on the Romulans with their pernicious electronic jamming and devastating close-range weaponry. To get a good lock on them our ships had to get ‘way too close. The fact that we had Warp Drive and they did not was the only reason we won out. Our ships and reinforcements could get from star system to star system infinitely quicker than theirs… but the battles were fought at sublight in realspace. Fast, hard, deadly with no quarter to give and fought against an Enemy we never set eyes upon. Whole and healthy one second, dead and or maimed the next with precious little in between…

The Romulans started it with the destruction of Starbase One. They had no concept of Peace through Friendship. Khan would have understood them, we did not. Earth had purged itself of conquerors and the Federation came into its own to protect everypony and their friends from them. In doing so we learned a costly, informative lesson. May we never have to do so again!

Jerry’s voice snapped me out of my reverie.

“I can say without fear of contradiction that we’ll be able to cruise at Time Warp Factor Seven with up to a projected Warp eleven point two for emergencies!” Jerry positively beamed! “Needless to say all this excess power will greatly enhance our sensory” He nodded to me. “ And weapons.” He gave another nod to Evee. “The new advances in replicator technology will go a long way toward extending our range since we won’t need to carry bulk spare parts and food as long as the Bussard collectors keep us topped off with raw material for the replicators to work with. It won’t be haut cuisine, but it’s eminently serviceable. …Well, better than mealpacks, anyway!” All the old hands looked skeptical. Mealpacks were better than chewing on artificially apple-flavored cardboard, but just barely. Synthetically produced apples and oats didn’t seem much of an improvement. Having it look like grey or red modeling clay didn‘t help matters. “In any event we’ll be stocking a supply of seeds and hydroponic equipment should we have the opportunity to find an uninhabited planet or moon to set up agricultural shop on. Needless to say, no other Starfleet vessel has tried this trick either.”

Sunny blinked. “So… we’ll just drop what we’re doin’ n’ turn our hooves to farming for a while?” The idea of getting her hooves dirty was clearly not sitting well with her! (Alicorns!)

“No worries, Doc! With ol’ Starry pullin’ a plow we’ll be eatin’ like royalty in no time, eh?” The irrepressible Merry chimed in.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. In that case I’ll provide the fertilizer and you can be in charge of spreading it!” I thought of tossing my padd at our favorite Comm Officer but squelched the idea.

“ A job supposedly zipped-up Merry is very well suited for, da?” Captain Caper quirked a thick eyebrow at her before continuing, “We have eight month’s food on board before this becomes issue. Also we might forage or maybe trade with other people we meet… within limits of new Prime Directive, of course.”

Sunny looked from the Captain to me. The rest of the table nodded in various degrees of agreement. She cleared her throat delicately. “At th’ risk o’ soundin’ even more like a piker…”

“It’s the new non-contact order from Starfleet.” I put in. “We’re not to initiate contact with any other less developed civilizations.”

“Oh! …Who makes yon decision? Seems t’ me that we could be a-doin’ a lot o’ good sharing our knowledge wi’ those less fortunate.”

Little Rock, rather surprisingly, spoke up. His voice was quiet as always, but demanded attention. “It’s for their protection. The cultural shock would be devastating to them. Look what happened to the indigenous ponies of the Neighmaricas and Horsetrailia and even the Zebras.” He nodded to Xantippe who looked carefully neutral. It was a delicate issue. Her people fared unnecessarily badly after the Eugenics Wars…

“But… it doesna seem fair somehow!” Sunny protested.

“Is one horseapple we must tread carefully around so we do not step in.” The Captain said. “I do not set policy but I will say that Directive, as stands, is annoyingly vague. Too much room for interpretation to apply broadly to all. Personally I think needs to be applied on culture-by-culture basis.”

Evee tugged one ear absently. “A pity that nopony else outside the Federation seems to bother with it.” She observed. “The Romulans didn’t give a rotten apple about others cultures, as long as they got what they wanted. Same seems to go for the Klingons, the Orion Syndicates, and the Frontier Traders too.”

“Well,” Sunny persisted. “Nopony seemed to object t’ Vulcans stopping’ by when they did.”

“Depends on who you talk to.” Pointed out Little Rock.

Captain Caper rapped the table with his knuckles.

“Is not debate! Directive stands and we will do what we can to enforce.” We all shut up obediently and he surveyed the table before chuckling softly, defusing the situation. “Is great to be Captain, da? Jerry, is more to say?” He put his cup off to the side and Xantippe topped it off unobtrusively.

Jerry, his padd still hovering, cleared his throat quietly before resuming. “Ahem. The new Magical Containment Protocols for antimatter storage are working like a charm as well as the enhancements for the Spell Matrix for the dilithium crystals. Even in the event of complete Magical failure, I might add, the purely mechanical systems will assure us of warp power… though at substantially reduced capacity. Of course anything that would take all my Engineering Unicorns out of commission would like as not take out the whole ship. You see? Magic has its uses!” He waggled his eyebrows at me playfully. Since it was Jerry I let him get away with it. He asked me once, soon after we met, how we Equestrins managed without Magic. I told him then as I did at that moment.

“Feh! Science is reliable! The laws of Physics…”

“Change depending on your frame of reference!” Jerry, not able to resist, continued our good-natured argument. “Look at subspace! Different ‘laws of physics’ for different situations. Magic just has more variables, is all! I’ll take Warp nine over Warp five any day of the week.”

I propped my head on my hoof and stuck my tongue out at him, eliciting a chuckle from all present as Jerry put his padd down.

“Things change all the time!” The Captain said. He swept an arm out to indicate Xantippe. “I even have Yoemare now to keep me up on datawork. …Am still wondering if this is good thing or not.”

Xantippe bowed graciously. “In my defense you do save time if I organize reports you but have to sign. At any rate I’m worth the price as long as the coffee is always nice!” She kept her eyes averted as she smirked quietly.

Captain Caper made a what-can-you-do expression and nodded wearily. “Da, that is so. Speaking of which…” He waggled his cup suggestively.

Xantippe filled it halfway. When Caper gave her an inquisitive look she admonished. “If I may be allowed an opinion as such you should not drink this so much. Your health is partially under my care, though our Good Doctor’s wrath I may dare…” She gave Sunny a firm but unapologetic look.

Sunny fidgeted for a second, feeling a little guilty perhaps for her initial dislike of the Zebra. “… She does have point. For a Pegasus o’ your age,” She coughed delicately into one hoof. “… Too much caffeine can be a bad thing. I’ll be able t’ tell more after I get your physical out o’ th’ way. When would be a good time for you…?”

Caper hung his head in practiced martyrdom. “Oi! Is conspiracy! Am I Captain or not?”

“Captains must take orders, too. Shall I get you some decaffeinated brew?” Xantippe made a move to another decanter and the Captain made a unpleasant face.

“Ugh. Coffee without caffeine is like kissing Grandmother!”

“Then there is nothing you should miss. I always enjoy my Grandmothers’ kiss.” Xantippe smiled sweetly and made to take his cup.

The Captain snatched it back, covering the top with one hand lest any of the profane brew would get in.

“We will have words about this later. How much coffee do you drink, bubula?”

“As for me I prefer herbal tea. Very good for body and mind, many benefits you could find.”

“You tell ‘im, ‘Tippy!” Merry sang out. “Oi wonders if ‘er reports rhyme, too?”

Xantippe opened her mouth to speak but Caper headed her off. “Lieutenant Evee, your report please.”

Evee stood, wiping the smile off her muzzle quickly.
“Helm systems are go, Captain. All our simulations with the upgraded phased balefire weapons and torpedoes predict that they will be functioning at optimal efficiency. Hopefully we can get in some live-fire practice soon just to make sure but I’m sure we could whip twice our weight in anything anypony has flying!”

She sat down and, unbidden, Guiding Star spoke up.

“All our charts have been updated with the latest Navigational data for Federation Space. Of course we’ll be further updating the charts once we get out beyond the borders. My people will be working hoof-in-hoof with Starry’s ponies in Astronomy on that.” He nodded with a tilt to his head. “We’re green for go, Captain!”

Caper turned in his seat to look at his Security Chief. “You I always leave for last since your department always runs so well. Am I liar?”

Little Rock served under Captain Caper longer than anypony else except myself, though he would never dream of imposing on it there was an especially easygoing relationship between these two old campaigners. “No you are not. Everypony on this ship is running around like it’s the night before the Gala. I’ve had no complaints of any sort of. Hopefully they’ll stay too busy during the mission to get moody.” He shrugged. “Time… and circumstances… will tell. The only worm in the apple for me is that I only have six, count ‘em, six ponies on hand if anything drops in the pot.” He raised a hoof to forestall the Captain’s burgeoning comment. “I know we’re not on a war footing nowadays and that this is a voyage of exploration, but we should have some means to deal with, well… the unknown should it happen. I’d like to at least get all crewponies proficient with the new phased-balefire sidearms as well as touching up their close combat skills beyond Basic Training.” He regarded the Captain levelly. “You may as well know that I want to form a ‘Trouble Squad’ to give us the ability to stand in for Troops if need be. Not all battles are fought by the main batteries, you know.”

Captain Caper mentally chewed the idea over, and then drained his cup. He began to hold it out for a refill, remembered, then put the cup aside instead and helped himself to a carrot stick. He crunched meditatively for a bit before speaking. “Is merit to this idea. Romulan War is over but that is no guarantee that everypony wants to be our buddy-buddies, da? Proceed with plan, Rocky. Maybe you should tap Damage Control crewponies for recruits first. Sciences and Medical will be stretched thin as is.”

“My thoughts exactly, Captain” Little Rock nodded, his mind already going through a list of probable candidates.

Caper nodded. “Da! I have only one item to add before breaking up meeting.” He stood and put his hooves flat on the table. “There is no Executive Officer here. I intend to have Commander Starry-Eyes take on position. Will be good experience for her, I think. Crew is small so task will be negligible, da?” He cocked an expectant eye in my direction.

I felt my ears droop. Because it was Caper, I could get away with saying, “Gee, thanks.” with the all the lack of sincerity I could muster. The Captain smiled mostly to himself. Then…

“We launch in three days. After shakedown cruise to Alpha Centauri we take on civilian scientific personnel and proceed to Sector 28 to begin exploration mission. Welcome aboard, everypony,” He half turned to Xantippe and waggled a finger at her. “Even you, and keep up good work. Dismissed! …Commander Starry, a moment of time, please?”

Being the closest stallion to the door, Jerry held it open for the rest. Merry hung around to be last. “Hey, Starry! Make ‘im give you a second pay rating as long as yer holdin’ down two jobs, eh? Cheer-oh!” She gave Jerry a punch on the shoulder and left with him. Alice stayed where she sat and Xantippe quietly gathered up the cups after snagging an apple slice to snack on. Captain Caper put his arms behind his back and sauntered up. Sunny checked her hoof polish and fiddled with her mane.

“Uh, Sunny? Onboard the Ship when the Captain wants to have a word with somepony he means with just that somepony.” I gave her an apologetic smile. “I’ll see you later, all right?”

“Oh, pish! Ye two be as Militry as ye like but what concerns ye concerns me as well. I’ll treat it as Medically confidential, won’t say a word t’ anypony else. Promise!” She dazzled, or tried to dazzle, Caper with her eyes and held her ground. Maybe I’d been in Starfleet too long, but I was aghast! I had a sudden vision of Little Rock escorting Sunny to the Brig on her very first day onboard…

“Sunny! Caper is your superior officer! You just can’t just…”

“No, no! Doctor is right… in this instance. What I have to say is for both of you. However…” He leveled a finger at Sunny and somehow seemed to grow five inches. “Do not mistake casual banter of past few minutes as lack of discipline. Ask Starry. On my ship I outrank Celestia and Luna both. When I give order is always for good reason and I. Will. Be. Obeyed.” He shrugged deprecatingly and managed to drop the mantle of command. “…But I try not to give unreasonable orders. Most of time, anyway, and never to anypony who I don’t think can fulfill them!” He swung his gaze up toward me as he seated himself on the table. “Is why I made you Executive Officer. You are good scientist, but you have potential to be good Captain some day. This mission could put you in Captain’s seat of this ship, maybe. With your record is small step. Have seen you handle ponies in hard situations. You earn respect. You would do good. To that end I have recommended you for Command Training.” He leaned back and resettled his wings, eyeing the both of us expectantly.

I kept silent, mulling over just what I would say. Sunny spoke up first.

“I dinna ken. How does bein’ Executive Officer end up wi’ her bein’ in command o’ a starship?”

“Is second in chain of command.” Caper said. “Captain in all but fact. An intermediary step. Starfleet sees her do good then is no sense wasting her as just a Commander. Hoop-a! Off she goes to command ship of her own.”

“Oh!” Sunny said. “Yer sayin’ tis’ but a formality then?”

Caper shook his head. “Da and nyet. Final decision rest with what two of you decide. Is big step, think hard!” He glanced over to the industrious Xantippe, then leaned in to whisper hoarsely. “…As long as you are thinking, think about how happy coffee makes Captain! ” One of Xantippe’s ears popped up and she turned to give a dark look toward the Captain who decided he was needed on the Bridge just then anyway! …Which left just the three of us.

“Well then, “Sunny started. “ … that’s a lot t’ think about t’ be sure! How long till he wants an answer, then?”

I took her hoof and gave it a squeeze of reassurance. “It’s not immediate! I daresay we’ll have three years to decide one way or another. Starfleet will want to see how I do during the mission anyway.” I sighed. “Sorry, Love, I didn’t see that coming. I never saw myself as any sort of leader, I just did what I had to do when I had to do it. Sheesh! If I knew that anypony was keeping score I would have sat on my hooves and stayed put!”

Sunny bent to kiss my hand. “Dinna kid a kidder, Dear! Ye’d do it all th’ same n’ we both know it.” She gave me a dazzling smile. “And I didna ken that I’d be married t’ some sort o’ heroine!”

“Cut that out! Nopony said anything about ‘heroines’!”

Xantippe, laden tray in hooves, chose that moment to walk by. “If the Doctor heard half the tales I am privy to, she would agree that your reputation has preceded you.” She paused and smiled warmly, lingering just long enough to show that she wanted to talk but too polite in her Zebrican way to impose on us. Mindful of Sunny, I didn’t want to prolong the conversation. Which was a pity since Xantippe seemed like a likeable enough Zebra…

But it was Sunny who, rather surprisingly, spoke up. “Stories, is it? Ye ken, I’ve never talked t’ anypony about Starry’s exploits on this ship. I was led t’ believe…” She cocked an eyebrow at me. “…That t’was all business as usual. …Well, as usual as can be durin’ a war!”

“In the short time I have been here, many stories of Science Officer Starry-Eyes I’ve been privileged to hear. But my favorite tale, if I remember it right, concerned a berserk Tellarite.”

“He had it coming! He was an officer at Ghooran Base when I was stationed there when I was an ensign. Years later we put in to Ghooran for resupply on the Hermes and first thing I knew I get a call from the cargo bay. The miserable furball had come down to supervise the loading in person and he was making life miserable for all my ponies. I outranked him by now and I told him to get off my deck and let us get to work. Well, one set of words let to another and the upshot was that he left the cargo bay… in a half-empty container of recyclable organic waste that he somehow, uh, stumbled into.” I looked off to the side, avoiding their eyes.

Xantippe leaned in and confided to Sunny, giving me the ghost of a wink. “There’s more about how she dealt with the lout, she’s left many gory details out!”

“Do tell?” Sunny chuckled. “Ma Starry’s been mighty close-mouthed about her sordid career in Starfleet. Hmm… tell ye what, Lass, why do you no have lunch wi’ us today an’ fill th’ gaps in official record for me? …If ye can pardon me ill manners earlier, that is…” Sunny added sheepishly. I was so proud of her.

Xantippe did another one of her curious, formal bows tray and all. “The pleasure is entirely mine, with the two of you to dine. I look forward to the luncheon date, but I must hurry now or I will be late!”

“Super! Cheerio, then!” Xantippe bustled out, leaving the two of us alone. I gave Sunny a nudge.

“You changed your tone awfully fast. You know I never figured anypony as beautiful as you being the jealous type!”

Sunny made a show of pulling the wrinkles out of her outfit. “Well, ‘tisn’t a good practice t’ dislike a pony till ye’ve met ‘em good n‘ proper. N’ I’m no jealous… just a wee bit proprietary! Now mind yer eyeballin’ in future at least while I’m about.”

“Duly noted! C’mon, we both have places to be. Seeya at lunch!” I gave her a swat on her bottom to get her moving. Sunny squawked and hopped up to give me a kiss before scooting out the door.

It was sooo good to be home!

Author's Note

We're in orbit! That's space, technically! ...Don't look at me like that, Johnny! My Father looked at me like that...once!

Ahem, this Trek story is set in the days before TOS, hence the to-do over the new uniforms and equipment. My source materials are my memory as well as the Star Trek Technical Manual from the '80's as well as the Starfleet Chronology of Spaceflight from the '90's. I'm trying to stay loyal to the classic Trek History... as far as the Equestrian Elements will allow ;)

Chapter Ten- Pre-Launch

CHAPTER TEN

PRE-LAUNCH

The last three days we spent in Earth orbit passed in hectic activity as last minute preparations rapidly came to a head. One unanticipated source of frustration came from a seemingly never-ending string of well wishers and visiting dignitaries with their accompanying hordes of media correspondents. Well meaning Ponies, I’m sure, but still a collective nuisance. Captain Caper handled his share of it but I still spent way too much time giving guided tours to ponies who were much more fixated on my Augment ancestry (AND my Augment anatomy! Sheesh!) than the mission of the Hermes!

Eventually, though, the last nuisance was put firmly ashore, the ship was sealed up and the last steps to making her shipshape were completed. The day before launch we’d moved away from spacedock and hung poised in orbit. The Hermes stood quivering and alert, the physical embodiment of eighty-five eager Ponies and the dreams of Starfleet. Merry and her communications crew were kept busy as hundreds of messages streamed to and from the ship… good-byes and well-wishes by the score.

Merry alerted us that we had a recorded message all the way from Equestris… from Daddy!

We’d both just came off watch. I settled down into the chair in front of the terminal and punched up the playback. Sunny came and sat in my lap and draped a wing around me, bless her heart.

An instant later I was looking at the achingly familiar scene of our living room back Home. The same sofa with the soft, red-brown synthetic upholstery with the dull green blanket of native mossweave draped across it, Daddy’s Big Chair, and the low table, all of which faced the terminal that was making the recording. The shelves built into the far wall still held the geological knickknacks, mainly prize crystals from the patch of ground Daddy lovingly tended when he wasn’t working for Red Opal Acres Mining Corporation. I could see the 3D capture of the Rarity Nebula in all its violet and gleaming white glory still hanging opposite the room’s sole window still sporting the same cream and brown drapes I remembered. It hadn’t been even a decade since I was there… so why did it feel like so many years had gone? My eyes stung and I guess my breath caught because Sunny laid her head against mine. I snugged her close.

The deep blue Equestrin night showed outside and the stars traced the outline of the Tumbledown Mountains beyond, striking silver sparks off some of their hardest facets. On the table sat a plate of my favorite Rockfarmer cookies, the one thing Daddy managed to be able to cook, and a glass of apple juice. Oh, Luna, how I craved one of those just then!

Daddy came in from the left, stepping around the table after turning the recorder on. He plopped down into his chair with a creak and a hiss of deflating cushions. He was deep red-brown with a thick, black mane that always looked like he was a few weeks past a trimming. His eyes are greener than mine by a shade or so and his brows are black as space and just as bushy as his mane. He wore a set of roomy coveralls that most of us on Equestris wear. In his case they were pale brown. He sat on the edge of his seat and smiled into the monitor.

“Hello, Blinky.” He said, using the nickname
he’d used ever since I was born.

“Oh! Ye have his palette!” Sunny breathed. I patted her bottom to hush her as Daddy continued.

“I just got a delivery this morning from Earth! Everypony is dying to find out what was in it but I’ll be keeping them guessing for a little while longer. It came from Mr. Amber Rose, your… “ He fumbled for a bit trying to find the right word. “ … wife’s Father. He sent along a vid of the Ceremony, a bottle of very fine Byrish Apple Whiskey, and an actual by-Luna letter… though I had a clinker of a time reading it! Does he talk anything like he writes? Do you sound as strange to him? Wow.” He shook his head and laughed. Sunny giggled but kept silent otherwise. Daddy looked sheepish suddenly.

“It just occurred to me that you two are watching this together. Hello, Solar Cross. I’m Jackhammer, but you can call me Jack. Or… Daddy, if you’d like. I’m guessing that Blinky calls you ‘Sunny’ like your Father does so I’ll do the same since you’re part of the family now!”

Sunny cuddled closer and whispered into my ear.

“’Blinky’! Oh that is so verra, verra dear! I love him already!” I gave her a swat.

Daddy reached out and chose a cookie, dipped it in the juice and took a bite. His eyes, for a moment, were looking somewhere else in time…

“Blinky and I used to have juice and cookies ever since she was this big.” He raised a hoof about waist high. “At the end of the day before we went to bed. She would tell me about her day, whatever was on her mind. Her happiness and her sadness, her dreams. … I watched my little filly grow up over a plate of cookies and these are the best memories of my life.” He paused for a breath, his eyes going bright. There was so much he wanted to say and such a pitiful amount of time to do it. Sending this was horribly expensive, I knew. We weren’t poor, as Equestrin standards went, but we never had a whole lot to spare. Yet he never stinted when it came to me. Oh, Daddy!

Daddy passed a hoof over his eyes and straightened up. “I watched the ceremony again and again. You look so beautiful, um, you both did! Your Mother would have been so proud! I haven’t seen Blinky so happy in such a long time. Oh I wish I could have been there… but I understand. The Colony can just chuck it on the slag heap, I just want my little filly to be happy! It’s all I’ve ever wanted. Well, that and to have just one more plate of cookies with my lit….” He paused again and smiled. “…with my beautiful Mare again.” He frowned, then winked. “… But I reserve the right to call you Blinky, in private of course!” He paused again and swallowed the lump in his throat. Daddy never cried that I saw, though I heard him in his room after Momma died when he thought I was asleep. Earth Ponies don’t waste time crying when there’s a job to be done, and I was his job and his job alone for so long... It’s how we are on Equestris. Luna Love me, but I missed Home so much just then!

“I just wanted to say,” He sniffed discretely, “…congratulations to you both. Much, much happiness to you two. Please come by for a visit some day. I’d like that so very, very much.” He reached out gently and touched the screen. Across the light-years I swear I could feel him stroke the side of my face. I reached out to touch his hand. “I love you… both. Be good for each other. Good-bye, my Dears!” …And the screen went dark.

“What a dear, grand sort he is, too!” Sunny said warmly.

I buried my face in Sunny’s breast and mewled, hugging her tight, so incredibly homesick it hurt! I waited for the tears to stop before I raised my head again. Sunny wiped my eyes with tender fingers, her own eyes bright.

“Nah, nah!” She scolded. “Dinna get all Augment on me, Love! Tis’ all right to cry… ye’d be less than ‘Optimal’ if ye dinna.” She smiled tenderly at the blank screen. “Oh, how can ye no love a laddie like that?” I broke down entirely and we clung together until all the tears stopped.

“We’re goin’ t’ see him th’ verra first chance we get!” Sunny had got rid of her uniform, it having become uncomfortably damp in the meantime, and settled herself back in my lap wearing only her skimpy undies. As a distraction it was a rousing success!

“Sure! We’ll just change the Mission Profile and detour the ship.” I sniffled one last time and made it a point to smile. “Easy as cupcakes! Now why didn’t I think of that?”

She bopped me on the end of the nose with a fingertip.

“Dinna be foalish wi’ yer elders, lassie. We’ll be a-gettin’ Leave sooner or later. Do ye a world o’ good t’ tread th’ ol’ Home Sod again!” She wriggled delightfully in my lap a moment before asking. “So… what was yon about th’ Colony? I get th’ impression that yer no telling me summat.” She waited patiently, looking so adoreable.

I sighed. “Hoo-buck! Ok… well when the Colony was founded there were less than a hundred of us. Only a relative hoof-full could be, um, adapted to the new environment at a time. Ponypower was at a premium. To remedy that all the Colonists were expected to do everything they could increase the population. Large families were needed. It is our, ahem, ‘Duty to Equestris’ to have as many foals as possible to make the Colony grow. Those who don’t aren’t eligible for citizenship.”

She blinked. “Wait, wha’ now? Are ye no a citizen by birth?”

I shook my head. “That’s not how it works… worked… on Equestris. You’re not a ‘First-Tier Citizen’ until you have a family. Until then you’re a ‘Second Tier’ with limited voting rights and fewer particular entitlements. Everypony must work, of course, but ones choice of job is governed by one’s status. There are any number of modifications for education and training, but the bottom line is that your main task is to provide more Ponies for the Colony. Homosexuality is… discouraged… as being ‘unproductive’. Not overtly, exactly, just with an attached social stigma. Reprisals against nonconformists like myself are illegal but as a matter of practicality I, and others like me, are more or less outcast What we refer to as ‘Third Tier Citizens‘. Criminals serving sentences, ponies who Failed The Colony in some drastic way, … undesirables. Our labor for the Colony makes up for our existence. Even an outcast is too valuable to waste. I never would have become a First-Tier Citizen unless I got a personality wipe.”

“… Well! What a bunch o’ bloody-minded… buggers!” Sunny sputtered. “Th’ verra idea!” She shook her wings in irritation. “How can they get away wi’ summat like that?”

As unfair as the System was, it was my Home and I felt that I should defend it somehow. “Well,” I began, discretely, “Look at it from their point of view. No outside support, no way to leave once they got there. It was do or die… and they weren’t about to die! The first Equestrins hit the ground, dug in, and prevailed. Lucky for us the place is lousy with minerals. Nearly five generations later there are over seventeen thousand of us despite what the Orions and Rigellians could do. A majority of colonies with a lot more ponies don’t make it, you know. …Unless they keep in contact with the Homeworld. We did it with no Magic, only the abilities bred into us. Determination and good old Earth Pony perseverance were all we had.” I realized I was dangerously close to getting up on a metaphorical soapbox. Damnit, I wasn’t happy with the way things worked out but I was still an Equestrin, by Luna!

Sunny had gone silent and regarded me narrowly. “That’s a wee, tiny gene pool. Augmentation or no, how did ye handle recessive genes?”’

“Besides the First Hundred, there were over five thousand assorted frozen sperm and ova from donors on Earth. Every other child was required to be one of those while they lasted. Our Augmentation saw to the rest.” I regretted that bit of information the nanosecond I said it.

“What!?” Sunny shrilled, her wings extending reflexively. I flattened my ears and hoped she didn‘t knock anything off the shelves in the relatively narrow room. “Not only were ye forced t’ have bairns, but ye had t’ hae somepony else’s, too?” Her accent, I noted long ago, devolves in direct relation to her sense of outrage.

“Well,” I said feebly, “They were considered to be yours no matter who produced them.”

“An tha’ makes it right?” If she could have reached the floor she would have stomped. I folded her hooves between mine.

“Necessity made it right, Sunny.” I said quietly. “Look at what the Mares Colony went through during the Eugenics War. And they were only twenty light-minutes away! Survival trumps societal mores.”

That gave her pause to think. The plight of the Mares Colonies was far better known than that of the average Equestrin. However bad it was back on the Homeworld, the Maresians had it worse! (We of Equestris sniffed when we heard their history after we joined the Federation. It’s chauvinism on our part, I know, but it’s hard to feel sorry for a bunch of ponies what had so much more to work with than we did!)

“Besides,” I added. “Most of that had changed since joining the Federation. Equestris still has its own laws and government, but concessions were part of admission. The full citizenship is guaranteed for anypony who joins Starfleet, among other things. Friendship is Tolerance, after all!” I smiled winningly.

Sunny folded her wings and looked contrite, blushing in appealing places. “Aye, well…” She shot me a guilty look. “I was no verra tolerant, wasn’t I? I’m sorry t’ fly off handle like that. I was just so angry f’ yer sake n’ all.” She gave me an adorable look out of the top of her eyes. “Forgive me?”

I nuzzled her nose to show no hard feelings and got a kiss in return. She rested her head on my shoulder.

“Och! What must th’ rest o’ us must’ve seemed like t’ ye when ye left Home!” She mused.

“Well, I read the databases the Federation provided. I knew you just had to be an improvement over the Tellarites!” I chuckled.

“Thank ye ever so much fer that!”

I got serious, or at least sounded serious. “I have to admit that I was better disposed toward Earth Ponies at first. It was nice to see that the work ethic of our forebears survived! The Pegasai are nothing short of amazing with their ability to control the weather. Hoo-buck! Could we use some of that caliber of environmental control! Remind me to tell you how windy and wet Equestris is some day! I had reservations about Unicorns, of course. But it didn’t stop me from getting to know them. Just like anypony else most of them are darn pleasant.” I nodded sagely before adding. “Everypony told me, though, to watch out for those Alicorns. Loco in the coco every last one of them!” I smiled hugely.

…Damn telekinesis! I never saw that powder-puff coming. I was spitting scented talcum powder all night!

Author's Note

The concept of Equestris arose from a portion of Federation History gleaned from STAR TREK: The Animated Series. (Remember that one?) In the name of convenience I decided to make it part of the Prism Universe history as well. Soon after the Eugenics Wars a total of ten colonization efforts were launched from Earth. Most were never heard from again except for Terra Ten. Starry's ancestors were Terra Three, though they named their ship The Rose. (Superponies have their sentimental side, too!)

Things were hard for the Colonists. In my original notes Equestris was the second place they stopped at, the first being a Tellarite Mining Colony. By the time they reached their present home their ships First Generation Time Warp Drive was pretty much a shambles and the rest of the ship was pretty much in the same shape. As Starry said, it was do or die. They made hard decisions and made their Colony work, a point of personal pride for them! The Maresian Colony of the Prism Universe = The Martian Colony of TOS. Ah! Those Equestrian puns! ;)

Chapter Eleven- Launch

CHAPTER ELEVEN

LAUNCH!

Stardate 1001.22. December 17, 2217 1023 hours, launch! The preceding watch, I’m sure, hadn’t gone to sleep yet and it was a fair bet that the mid-watch were all up as well. Everypony onboard was in high spirits. It was Landing Day, Federation Day, and Hearthswarming Eve all rolled into one! There would be parties aplenty all day and night in all the Departments of our reborn and eager ship. All systems were perfect, all the cargo stowed and I would have sworn that even the ships computer system had picked up on all the good feeling onboard. (Sometimes these new-fangled duotronic systems can be… surprising!) Everypony who had even the slightest excuse to be there was on the Bridge. Sunny was lingering by my station and offered to share the cup of tea she got from the tray that Xantippe had brought up. I managed only a sip, I was too excited to be thirsty.

“Look at ye!” She chuckled quietly. “Ye’re positively bubbling!”

“Can you blame me?” I whispered back. “This is an historic occasion. I joined Starfleet to explore the Galaxy. Now I’m getting the chance. We’re all getting the chance!” I amended, feeling just a little guilty. Sunny noticed the blush.

“Aye, yer livin’ yer dream. No many ponies git t’ do that in their lifetimes. I’m so happy fer ye.” She sidled closer and gave my hoof a squeeze since she knew I would have died if she kissed me on the Bridge.

I covertly squeezed back. “And what’s your dream, Beautiful?” I teased.

Sunny leaned over and made a show of pointing at something on one of my displays. I leaned in, too, curious as to what she saw.

“My dream is just t’ be wi’ ye wherever ye are, Love!” Her body shielding her from casual glances, she gave me a peck on the ear. I jumped in my seat and nearly turned off a whole bank of dynoscanners! Sunny straightened up and leaned on my console, hiding her mischievous grin in her teacup as she looked around so innocently.

“Sunny!” I hissed.

“Let that be lesson fer ye. Be more careful when yer fishin’ fer compliments, ye never ken wha’ ye catch!” She murmured, the Pony of Mischief dancing in her eyes. I loved her so much at that moment… but I still wanted to spank her! …I contented myself with reaching out to give her tail a tweak when she wasn’t looking.

Merry distracted us all with the words we’d been anticipating all morning.

“Signal from Starfleet on channel one. Admiral Quicksilver, Skipper!”

Caper swiveled his chair in her direction and nodded. “On speakers, Lieutenant.” Only the subdued twitch of his wings hinted at his own excitement.

Merry keyed a couple of muted tones on her board and the voice of the Admiral filled the Bridge.

“Hermes, this is Starfleet Spacedock. You are cleared for launch. On behalf of all of us here, and the Federation of Pastures, I wish you a safe voyage. Celestia speed you and your crew, Captain. Admiral Quicksilver out.”

Caper grunted softly and nodded thoughtfully. “Understood, Spacedock. Crew and I thank you for your well-wishes. Will see you all in three years time! Caper out” We all held our collective breath…

The Captain, slouching ever so slightly in his chair, swiveled to take us all in turn, grinning that half-grin we all remembered so well from the War. The same grin that told us how he trusted us and our good ship, how proud he was to be our Captain. The grin that told us that he would move worlds to bring us all back Home safe and whole. Suddenly I was blinking back tears. Somehow, Sunny’s hoof had found mine again…

“Helm!” Caper said.

“Course laid in for Alpha Centauri at Starbase Two. Estimated arrival time in one point six days at Time Warp Factor Seven, Captain.”

He nodded again, then turned his head slightly toward me. “Departure angle on viewer, please.” He turned a bit in the opposite direction to Merry. “Put on intraship.”

The Main Display came to life. Earth in all its blue and white glory framed within it, the slender needle of the Equestria Space Elevator just on the verge of passing into night. I remembered how I’d come to Earth there just a couple of months ago…

“Fillies and Gentlecolts,” The Captain began, snapping me back to the present. “This is Captain Cloud Caper. In few moments we begin our voyage of exploration. The first since end of Romulan War.” He paused for a moment, looking at the world below us. “Seventy years ago the Federation Era began when Earth launched a starship on very similar mission commanded by Earth Pony named Archer. His words upon founding of Federation then serve us well now. Space is Final Frontier. We now begin the voyage of Starship Hermes. Our three year mission; to seek out strange, new worlds, new Friends and new civilizations, to boldly go where no Pony had gone before.” He paused again to let the historic words sink in, then. “In proud tradition of Captain Archer and Starfleet, with best ship and best crew, … we go. Captain out.” We all sighed. The Captain sat up straight and addressed the Helm. “All ahead one third impulse. When clear, go to Time Warp Factor Seven.”

We watched the Earth begin to recede slowly. From all around came the soft, building thrum of the Time Warp Drive powering up. In less than a minute we were beyond the Moon. Evee called out on the ship‘s speakers. “Stand by for Time Warp.” As per Starfleet training we all stopped what we were doing and braced ourselves. Those walking stopped and came to attention, we who sat surveyed our boards and held on. The transition from normal space to subspace, when the Time Warp Field generated by the nacelle slung beneath and behind the saucer of the Primary Hull formed, came a lot faster than it did on civilian ships. They could take up to ten minutes to go to Warp. The Hermes achieved Warp in seven seconds and the ride, as the ships systems compensated for the adjustments to inertia and acceleration, could get rough. With each Time Warp threshold a slight but noticeable tremor passed through the ship. Nothing overtly violent, but a tremor at the wrong moment could trip somepony up or cause a piece of equipment to fall. Better safe than sorry was Starfleet’s motto so the protocol was put in place long ago.

Evee called out our progress as the ship thrummed. Every seven seconds, at each new Warp threshold, she sang out. “Time Warp Factor One… Two…”

The Earth had shrunk almost immediately to a pinhead of light, Luna’s Moon a pale dot close by. Our course would take us above the plane of the ecliptic all the better to lessen the already astronomical chance of crossing the path of civilian vessels plying the harbors of the other planets in the Solar System.

“… Three… Four… Five…” Evee droned on. At Warp Five, the Hermes gave a more pronounced lurch as if the ship, eager to be going, tugged at its reins impatiently. Sunny looked not alarmed, but concerned. She whispered. “Is yon s’posed t’ happen?”

“Piece of cupcake.” I assured her. “We’re just accelerating.” My eye caught the sight of Xantippe nearby. She had put her tray on the floor behind the Captain nearby to us. Instead of standing, though, she had knelt with her head bowed and eyes closed. With both hooves she clenched the amulet around her neck. Her lips worked silently and calmly. Seeing her, Sunny took a step and laid a hoof on her shoulder.

“From your lips to Celestia’s ears!” She whispered. Xantippe never paused or looked up. Poor filly. Well, she’d get used to it soon enough. She and Sunny.

“… Six… Seven!” Evee concluded a little triumphantly. We were now going faster than ninety percent of anything else in Starfleet.

Jerry scanned his displays. “All reading nominal across the board, Captain.” He turned to beam at Caper. “The new engine is purring like a well-fed manticore!”

Caper nodded acknowledgment. “Had no doubts it would, Chief Engineer.” He turned to Merry. “Signal all decks to go to Cruise Mode.” He gave his chair a lazy kick and spun to survey the Bridge with a smile. “Well, My Little Ponies, we are underway. Hoo-pah!”

In the time it took him to turn, Xantippe patted Sunny’s hoof warmly and gathered up her tray, pausing to stand and bow gratefully to My Little Alicorn. Even as the Captain spun into view she had poured a cup of coffee and offered it to him. She also slipped a couple of padds into his lap before she hurried away to the turbolift.

“A couple of reports for you to sign. I will be back in just a short time.”

Caper frowned at her retreating back. He looked our way.

“Is something I should know about, Starry-puska?”

“She’s new to space.” I explained.

He nodded sagely. “Ah! She will get space legs soon enough, da?” He sipped appreciatively.

“Well I can’t say that I blame her!” Sunny put in. “Yon was more than a wee… unsettlin’ t’ those no used t’ it! … No reflection on yer engine, grand thing that it is.” She nodded to Jerry who only grinned with unabashed pride.

“No offense taken here!” He chirped. “You just have to remember that this is a Starfleet ship and not a civilian carrier. Our engine is quantum leaps and bounds more powerful. It takes everything they have just to reach warp threshold so the transition is much less pronounced. You ought to be in Engineering when it happens! A lot more intense there in the heart of it all.”

“Celestia forbear!” Sunny shuddered delicately. We all of us chuckled.

“Is waiting that is worst.” Caper put in. “Back in Bad Old Days before Eugenics War Ponies used to go into space in chemical rockets. No inertial dampening, no structural integrity fields, no super strong alloys, just thin metal shell on top of potential big bomb. Oi! I shudder to think about it! Last ten seconds before launch they are strapped in tight while Ground Controller counts down. Ten seconds immobile on top of huge, fragile, complicated machine that could, and sometimes did, go flooey at last second! Could you imagine?”

“Ah, the ‘romance of space’.” Sunny said flatly and we all chuckled, including Sunny. “Well then! Now that we’re fairly off… some o’ us more than th’ others… “ She cocked an eye at Jerry who just smiled winningly. “ … I’ll be off t’ Sickbay t’ go through me lists t’ see which Ponies have no had their physicals yet.” Most of us hadn’t. Way too many things to do what with the launch and all. “I want t’ make sure all th’ instruments are nice n’ cold. Sensors are all verra well n’ good but I like t’ see for mesel‘, ye ken.” She swept the bridge with her eyes and strode casually to the lift. There in neutral territory, as far as she was concerned, she blew me a kiss just as the doors whooshed closed. We’d all stopped grinning long since.

Caper rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. “Making fun of Doctor is risky business, da?” He bucked his chair around to face me. “Maybe Starry-pushka could put good word in for us?”

“Me change her mind?” I feigned horror at the thought. “The last voluntary decision I made was to have that ribbon tied ‘round my hoof!”

Author's Note

One of the things that caught my attention when watching the The Menagerie and Where No Man Has Gone Before was the apparent protocol of everyone coming to attention when the ship got underway. Something that had gone the way of the Dodo in Starfleet by the time TOS got under way. In Our Girl's day this procedure is still on the books. obviously a holdover from even earlier in Starfleet History. There is a precedent in our own time. I once had a friend in the Army who told me it was standard practice to NEVER put a Jeep battery on the bare ground without putting a board or similar piece of wood underneath it to keep the battery from 'going to ground' and discharging, something that was put into effect back in the days when automotive transport/maintenance was in its infancy. (This anecdote was brought to you by Trivia, Inc., a subsidiary of Alicorne Enterprises. Provider of Unrelated Facts since 1958!)

Chapter Twelve- The Soul of Cimarron

CHAPTER TWELVE

THE SOUL OF CIMARRON

The run to Alpha Centauri went without a hitch except for one event. An event that turned out to be very pivotal, in hindsight.

It was four days after Launch. We were scheduled to make planetfall late that afternoon to pick up the last of our personnel, a pair of civilian scientists. Sunny and I were looking forward to having dinner at the Starbase with Xantippe and Jerry after doing a little bit of shopping at a place Sunny remembered from her time there during the War. I hoped she wouldn’t clutter our cabin with a lot useless junk. I was thinking of how I could gently steer her into seeing reason when Merry spoke up.

“’Ere, Skipper! Oi got a distress call comin’ in. Audio only an’ it’s on a standard radio frequency. Really low power, too. Only picked it up by way of all the interference it made on the shield frequencies.”

I perked my ears up, interested. That style of distress beacon was phased out more than twenty years ago. Somepony had some seriously out-of-date equipment!

“Put on speaker.” Caper grunted. Merry nodded and pressed a switch.

The voice that filled the bridge was male and agitated. The sound quality was bad, being almost overrun by the static between the stars.

“This is First Mate Roundhouse of the Trading Vessel Soul of Cimarron, eighteen periods out of Earth in sector two. We’re under attack! I don’t know who they are! They dropped out of Warp right on top of us and opened fire. The engine is out and we have multiple hull breaches. Captain’s dead, hell, half the crew is dead already! We…” He paused, listening to excited voices in the background… and the sounds of weapons fire. Plasma bursts. Roundhouse came back on in a hurry. “We’re being boarded! I have a wife in Appleoosa. Her name is Cloth-of-Gold. Tell her…” There came a louder plasma burst, shouting, grunting, scuffling hooves. A final shot, suddenly truncated… then silence.

Merry said quietly. “…The time stamp on that was more than five years ago, Skipper. Judgin’ from the strength of the signal I don’t think anypony heard it on Earth or Alpha-C.”

Caper nodded, then. “Give coordinates to Helm. Advise Starbase Two of distress call. Tell them we go to investigate. See if you can find owners of Soul of Cimarron. Am sure they want to know what happened to ship and crew. Lieutenant Evee, change course and proceed to site at best speed.” The Captain’s look had hardened. The War had been bad enough without Piracy to go along with it. Depending on who took them out we might or might not have remains to bring back. I got the location from Merry’s board and had trained our long-range sensors on the locale. I bent over the hooded viewer at my station and watched the three-dimensional display build up as the data came in.

“Starry…” Caper said.

“On it, Captain!” Then, after the readings began to taper off… “I’m showing a small ship, about a class eleven vessel. Less than two thousand tons volume. Not a freighter with that amount of cargo space! … I’m showing zero energy readings, zero life readings… Massive damage to spaceframe and engine.” I paused and adjusted the scanners. “There are what appears to be, um, organic remains both onboard and a few thousand miles away. Bodies, I’d say.” I concluded quietly.

“Well, damn!” Merry muttered. “Poor bastards. Ya think they spaced ‘em?” I looked up and took in her grim expression. She shrugged. “Guess it was too much to ‘ope that they got what they wanted and left the survivors behind, wasn’t it? Bloody ‘Ell!” She smacked one hoof into the other.

One of the new crew, Ensign Crane, a Unicorn buck whose red uniform nearly blended with his coat but not his metallic green mane and tail, spoke up.

“Survivors? After five years?” He asked incredulously. When Merry looked at him he blanched and quickly added. “Ma’am.”

Merry shrugged again. “Stranger things ‘ave ‘appened, Mate! Loike ta think there’s always a chance, eh?”

I cleared my throat. “It isn’t impossible. Over the years there are several ships unaccounted for from Khan Singh to this day that weren‘t confirmed as destroyed. If the Warp Drive goes out and the ship can still make full impulse power they could disable their inertial dampers and head for the nearest star system in relativistic space, as long as the food holds out. A year or two for them could be decades to us. If they have stasis ability… “ I shrugged. “ They literally have all the time in the world to get where they want. Before the development of Time Warp Drive, Earth had plans to colonize the nearer stars that very way.” I tilted my head to my console. “They didn’t, though.”

Crane nodded, gulping.

“In any event.” The Captain rumbled. “Could be thought of as mercy. Better to be spaced then live life as slave in alien market!” Ten seconds of agony versus years of suffering, I guess. I had memories of Daddy telling me of Orions, Rigellians, and the odd Tellarite group all having a go at looting Equestris’ mineral stockpiles. No Equestrin had been taken alive… but they hadn’t been looking for slaves, either.

“I just wish I had those pirates on my scopes!” Evee put in. “I’d love to give them even just a few seconds of these new phased balefire weapons!” She reined in her tone a second later and announced. “Coming up on their position, sir.”

“Onscreen.” Caper said, then talking over his shoulder to Merry. “Advise Starbase Two we have found ship and will board her to investigate.”

I toggled the Main Viewer to life and we watched the hulk of the Soul of Cimarron grow rapidly. It hung in space at a skewed angle motionless after the attack that destroyed her five years earlier. Her hull was the dull bronze color of bitanium, (An alloy that had been superseded by tritanium and more exotic metals in the years since her construction.) scorch marks radiating from the gaping ruin of her drive and life systems. She was shaped rather like a flattened and stretched horseshoe, the entire ship less than a quarter as big as our Saucer section. The Warp Engine, obviously added after she was built, was situated on top in a dorsal mount. The cargo bay doors on the underside gaped wide. The pirates, apparently, had no transporters or spells to move the cargo and had taken it onboard manually.

“Oy!” The Captain grunted in surprise. “Is CT-200 design! In-system ship upgraded to Warp Drive. Was museum piece already when destroyed. Grandfather was engineer on one between Earth and Europa Station!” He watched the wreck intensely, then shrugged. “Was better than chemical rocket at least.”

I bent back over my viewer and reviewed my database. While we had access to a lot of information, fifty year old ship designs were not included. I remembered, enviously, that the proposed Heavy Cruiser Design was slated to contain pretty much the sum total of Federation knowledge in its computers. I had to admit defeat.

“I’ll take your word on that, Captain. Nothing in our database on civilian designs. Somepony, though, went to a lot of expense to convert a sublight ship into a Warp transport.”

Jerry was poring over his own display. “From what’s left I’d say that that is a First Generation Time Warp Drive. Warp two point five, maximum. Say Earth to Centauri in ninety-four days. Fast for the day! How much space do they have for cargo?”

I went back to work for a few seconds.

“I’m showing maybe three hundred tons capacity. …Doesn’t seem enough to pay for the antimatter, much less the enchanted dilithium crystals.” I mused.

“Maybe they were using straight lithium crystals…?” Jerry said doubtfully.

“Then they would have been running dangerously close to overload all the time. The unique four-dimensional properties of dilithium were certainly known at the time and would have been available… at an exorbitant cost. Still, it would have been worth the expense to ensure the safety of the ship, wouldn’t it?”

“You are saying, then,” Caper interrupted. “That ship is not a freighter?”

“Not one that made any money, anyway.” Jerry answered. “Unless they were hauling dilithium. Can’t think of what else they’d be able to ship in that bitty cargo hold that could turn a profit.”

The Captain looked as if someone had squirted lemon juice in his coffee.

“So… a small, fast, expensive ship with tiny cargo capacity is a target for pirates. I do not wish to cast aspersions on dead, but what does this suggest to both of you?”

The Mare in my mind facehoofed herself. Jerry, being the innocent soul he was, was still working it out.

“Smugglers.” I said flatly. Jerry frowned, then looked sheepish.

“Oh, yeah. Makes sense. Probably fronted as a transport for some companies’ Very Important Ponies. I wonder what were they smuggling?”

Caper bucked his chair around to address us both. “Will not know till we get there, nyet? Starry, take small party over to wreck and evaluate. We will stand by. Merry,” He swiveled in her direction and added in a softer tone. “Advise the Good Doctor that will be bringing remains of crew onboard to examine and store till we get to Starbase.”

I signaled for my replacement to come to the Bridge and went through the duty roster to see who was available to come with me to the ship. I picked a midshippony from Engineering, a bottle-green and black Earth Pony named Stimbolt and a violet and white Unicorn Mare from Security named Dazzle before going to the Quartermaster for an environmental suit.

The suits were pretty much the same ones I used during the War, the only real difference being the harness that held the environment pack and tools. Nowadays the harness was color-coded to whatever Department the wearer was assigned to. Mine was blue, the Middie and Chief Dazzle wore red. Honestly, what was wrong with just a plain brown EV suit? My suit, because it was so much bigger in certain places, had to be resynthesized a couple of times before it fit right. As a result I was the last one to show up in the transporter room.

Sunny and one of her Medical Ponies were chatting with the boarding party, towed antigrav gurneys lying dormant on the deck. Stimbolt and Dazzle came to attention quietly when I entered. Sunny looked puzzled that the conversation had come to such an abrupt end but her face lit up when she saw it was me.

“Aye, well ‘tis about time ye got here! What kept ye?”

“Trouble with the fit.” I said briefly, glancing meaningfully down at my chest for just an instant. I ignored the playful look in her eye. “All right, Ponies! We’ve picked up a five year old distress call from the ship out there. They were apparently attacked by Pirates. We’re going over to see what we can find out about who did it and why. Sunny, there are bodies in there we’ll be bringing back for identification and to ship back to the next of kin. Mr. Stimbolt I need you to see what state the ship’s systems are in and to pull the data from their Engineering. It’s a fifty year old civilian ship so I can’t tell you where to look. Chief Dazzle, I want you to scout out what parts of the ship you can get in to and see what you can determine about who hit them and with what. I’m going to the Bridge to access their database and get the logs and flight plans. We’ll gather up the remains and return, easy-peasy.” I paused for a moment. “It’s probably going to be rather… grim in there. These guys were pretty thorough. Just be prepared is all.” I cleared my throat. “It’s an old wreck so don’t take any chances trying to go someplace of do anything that puts you in danger. It’s five years too late to help these poor Ponies. This, unfortunately, isn’t a rescue mission.” Dazzle nodded and Stimbolt looked determined and a little grim.

“How many bodies d’ye ken?” Sunny asked softly.

I tried to shrug but the suit made that difficult. I shook my head instead. “Two for sure. With no life signs it’s hard to sift out the organic debris from corpses. Uh, there are four more scattered outside. We’ll be beaming those onboard when we leave.”

“Och, Celestia! N’ we’re no even out of Federation Space yet!” Sunny’s lips thinned and she looked grave. I wanted to kiss her, to comfort her, but I was a Starfleet Officer right now. As her Wife I would have to wait till later. She wasn’t cut out to deal with the dark side of the reality of a Universe that just didn’t care. The hoof I raised to her shoulder couldn’t feel her through the gauntlet, but I gave her a squeeze anyway. She felt it, regardless, and patted it with one of her own. That’s my Mare!

“Be safe!” She admonished, showing her Matronly side. “All o’ ye!” Then, showing her other side, “If I hae’ t’ treat anypony fer a stupid suit puncture or sprain I’ll be verra disappointed, ye ken?”

“Yes, Ma’am!” We chorused.

“Oh, gi’ on, the lot o’ ye!” She frowned, not too convincingly and flapped a hoof at the transport platform.

We trooped up the two steps and dogged our helmets and turned on our lights. The suits, activated by the helmets, pressurized and came online. As per regulation, we gave each other a visual once-over to make sure everything was in place.

“Ok, Chief!” I signaled the Unicorn buck at the transporter control. “Ready to transport.”

The Chief, Ratchet was his name, nodded and consulted his console. “I’m putting you in the cargo bay. The interior of the ship had too much debris drifting around to put you anywhere else.” He tweaked a medley of tones from his board and took hold of the three sliding controls that managed the triple-redundancy of the transport signal. “Ready!”

“Energize.” I said. I could imagine the subdued, warbling howl of the transporter building up. The pads beneath us flickered in opposition to the emitters above us in the alcove. It would take the better part of a minute for the system to cycle. A spell would have been faster, but there was no Unicorn waiting at our destination to provide a target. A lot of Ponies find particle transporters unsettling. Personally, I had no problem with good-old Earth Pony technology. Neither did Stimbolt.

“Are all Starfleet Doctors that snarky?” He wondered over the suit comm.

“You ought to try living with her!” I admonished quietly. The transporter room began to fade away. An instant later we were floating in the cargo bay of the Soul of Cimarron. Dazzle was chuckling.

I was about to hail the Hermes when Sunny’s voice came over the channel. “I heard that!” Oh, ponypies!

“Sunny, get off the comm! Hermes, this is the boarding party confirming transport. We’re proceeding inside.”

“Confirm, Commander. Transporter lock is steady.” Ratchet replied. “I’m switching you over to the Bridge. Good luck!” A distinctly feminine-sounding raspberry occurred in the background. “…I think you’re gonna need it!” He added in a lower tone.

I took hold of a railing perpendicular to my position and pulled myself into normal standing position for the wreck. Dazzle and Stimbolt did likewise and we cast our lights around. Vacuum made it a place of stark light and darkness. Pale grey walls, sporting an occasional dusting of frost here and there, spoke little of the events of half a decade earlier. Dark LED light panels, a scrap of paper, a stylus, an honest-to-Luna pencil, and a few sparkling crystals of ice or frozen air were all we could see. The bay doors framed a slowly careening vista of stars. A particularly bright one passed through the frame. Celestia’s Sun or Alpha Centauri? Given our position it could have been either one. I sighed and touched the comm button on my helmet ring.

“Hermes, Starry-Eyes here. Cargo bay is structurally intact and empty. I’m sending Stimbolt to Engineering and Dazzle going to recon. I’m heading for the Bridge.”

Caper’s voice came back. “Carry on, Commander. Keep us posted, da?”

“Will do, Captain. Boarding party out.”

“Hermes out.”

I released the comm and continued on the suit-to-suit frequency. “Let’s go, Ponies! Sing out if you find anything.”

“Aye-aye, Ma’am!”

“Roger that, Commander!”

There was a manual hatch leading out, the heavy door still flat against the wall still held open by the magnets that were meant to hold it open. Dazzle and Stimbolt made their way through and I went last, opting to go through horizontally instead of having to bend nearly double to negotiate the normal pony-sized door. The airlock was dogged open and we passed into a corridor that terminated in a ladder that passed through all the decks. No turbolifts on a ship this old, of course. According to the readings, Engineering was on the uppermost deck, the Bridge was the one below that. The remaining deck above the Cargo Bay were the living quarters, dining facility and storage, apparently. Dazzle got off there and Stimbolt and I continued up.

Unlike the cargo bay, the rest of the ship was seething with… junk.

“Lots of crap floating around in here.” Dazzle noted as we went up the ladder. “Blankets… clothes…personal effects. I got a few blast marks here. Looks like it’s from a medium-energy plasma weapon, probably in the ten to twenty kilowatt range. Not much cratering, mostly scorch and melt marks. Ah… I’ve got what looks like frozen blood on some of the walls. … Drifting around loose, too. I’m going to check out the crew quarters now. Structurally all intact here.” She sounded calm and business-like.

One deck up, I pushed off into a short corridor thick with debris. There were four hatches, two to each wall on either side. Another hatch stood open at the end of the corridor, the Bridge. I batted a drifting toothbrush away from my faceplate and peered through the clutter.

“Ok, Dazzle. I’m on the Bridge deck. It’s a mess up here, too.” I shooed a pillow out of the way as something caught my eye. “I have blast marks up here, too.” I took a closer look at the stuff tumbling around me. “Most of what I have here is all broken and burned. Must have happened when they stormed the Bridge.” A lamp still connected to its gooseneck mounting drifted by. The gooseneck ended in a charred and melted stump. I pulled myself up to look inside the nearest hatch.

It was a stateroom. Smaller, actually, than the quarters Sunny and I shared but plenty big by the standards of this ship’s day. The mattress, torn and slashed, blocked a lot of the view. Wads of batting and chunks of support gel engaged in an endless dogfight with the sheets and blankets. The dresser drawers were open, some of them were adrift every so often adding another nick to the once-opulent wood-paneled walls. Some male underwear slowly wrapped itself around my arm and I flicked it away thoughtlessly, sending myself into a spin just like a Cadet zero-g trainee, damnit! Glad that nopony saw that, I braced myself against the doorframe and got ready to move out.

“Hol-lee Luna!”

“What is it, Stimbolt?” I gave myself a gentle push and began icebreakering my way through the junk towards the Bridge.

“I just got off the ladder. Pretty clear up here. For all intents and purposes there is no Engineering. Just one hell of a gaping hole! I’m standing in what’s left of the bulkhead. Hatch’s gone. So’s the outer hull. The bulkheads between me and you seems to have held but everything in here is blasted to bits. I’ve got no radiation, the antiduterium must’ve bled off long ago. Secondary power cells are just gone! This place is just a shell. Uh, I don’t see any sign that anything’s been removed… Seems like anything salvageable was destroyed in the attack. There’s just nothing here except for a great view of the Hermes, Ma’am. I’m getting a data recording of what I’ve got. Should I come down to help with you of the Chief?”

Dazzle spoke up before I had a chance. Her voice sounded tired and disgusted.

“Buck me in the ears.” She stated under her breath. Then, more loudly. “I’ve got a body here. Male Unicorn. Third cabin on left, facing aft. He’s just a colt, damnit.” She never raised her voice. “Damn near blew his head off. Didn’t make it easy for them. Kid’s got a knife in his hoof. There’s blood on it.” She paused and I could imagine her leaning in closer. “Not Pony blood.” Then, softly, “Good for you, kid.”

“What was a kid doing onboard, anyway?” Stimbolt wondered.

“Having the last adventure of his lifetime.” Dazzle said flatly and Stimbolt shut up.

It occurred to me just then that neither of them were party to the idea that this was a smuggler’s ship on an unlawful venture. I wasn’t about to slur the memory just then. All that mattered in an uncaring Universe in that instant was that Ponies fought a hopeless battle. They fought hard and died swinging. Something rebellious in my genes stirred. I was suddenly proud of these… criminals. I shook my head. Sometimes being an Augment is… bemusing.

I stuck my head into the Bridge and stopped. Not unexpectedly the place was a shambles. Bits of shattered panels and electronics drifted around. Unlike a Starfleet Bridge there were just a few stations. The Captain, I recalled from somewhere, was more than likely the Helm and Navigator. Sciences was called Sensory and was combined with communications. Engineering was controlled from the Engine Room. Three chairs, two bodies. An Earth Pony mare and stallion in pale brown jumpsuits. Both of them scorched and disfigured by close-range weapons fire as if grenades had gone off in their bodies. He got it in the guts, she got shot in the chest. I turned myself to follow the body of the buck. First Mate Roundhouse, Mate of a mare named Cloth-of-Gold in Appleoosa on Earth, had his eyes still screwed up in a wince. Frost rimed his eyelashes as he floated in a cloud of flash-frozen blood and ashes. The moisture of his eyes sublimating from under the lids, no doubt. The Mare in my mind looked at me reprovingly for being so clinical in the face of pony tragedy. I blew her off. I still had a job to do.

“I have two bodies on the Bridge.” I heard myself say. “First Mate and unknown crewpony. Both dead by plasma fire. Stimbolt, get down here and get them down to the cargo bay. Dazzle, how many rooms do you have left to search?”

“Four.” Came the prompt reply. “I’ll bring the kid… and anypony else I find… down to the cargo bay when I’m done.”

I suppressed an urge to rub my eyes behind the faceplate. Suddenly I was so damn tired. “Roger that. Don’t forget to have a look through any terminals or personal data sets you find. We’re awfully short on information about what was going on here. Stimbolt, head up to their sickbay when you’re done and check out any computer systems you find there. I’ll see what I can get out of the ship’s computer. I‘ll contact the ship when we’re finished.”

When he arrived I gave Stimbolt a hand in maneuvering the corpses into the corridor. The young buck seemed to be holding up well… though he seemed to avoid taking a direct look at the bodies. I made a note to myself to talk with him afterwards just to see how he was holding up. Starfleet training can only prepare you for so much. The reality of an uncaring Universe can be a rough teacher…

The Cimarron’s computer, as I suspected, was pretty much a wash. The Pirates weren’t likely to leave anything In the database that would allow the authorities to identify or track down their stolen goods. I had to try, though. If only for the murdered crew.

One thing became apparent as I tried to salvage the files. The Pirates spent a lot of time trying to wring information out of the computer. Worm programs and hacks I’d never seen before! When they failed it seemed they turned a virus loose in the system and completely trashed the core. I put the pieces together and figured out the sequence of events. It all pointed to a systematic search that culminated in the destruction of the ships computer. The information they wanted, the manifest of the cargo, the Captain’s data about the same, wasn’t in the system! Therefore, it must be outside the system. If they had captured the recorded data there would have been no need to so thoroughly gut the computer. The data might still be onboard somewhere… but how to find it?

Stimbolt and Dazzle rejoined me on the Bridge while I was mulling that over. I filled them in quickly.

“So the Captain, or somepony, downloaded the data into some media somewhere.” Stimbolt said.

“Maybe into hardcopy?” Dazzle wondered.

Stimbolt snorted. “On plas sheets? It would be bigger than a set of encyclopedias! And when would he have had the time?”

“Hey, I’m just speculating here. You two have more computer savvy than I’ll ever have!”

I held up a hoof. “I’ve got an idea. Look,” I indicated the digitally eviscerated computer. “These computers use the same storage media we use today. Actually, this system is only a few years out of date. Remember? This ship is extensively retrofitted. Their computer uses data solids like ours does. Data solids are tuned synthetic molecularly-aligned quartz crystals. The information is stored directly on the lattice just above the atomic level.”

“And they’re heavy for their size.” Dazzle chimed in. “You can brain a pony with one. I know, I’ve seen it done.” I gave her an odd look that she ignored, wondering under what circumstances she’d found that out.

“Bingo!” Stimbolt exclaimed. “I think I know where she’s going with this! An intact crystal resonates at a standardized frequency. That’s why they use synthetics, to make them all behave at the same frequency!” He turned to Dazzle, so excited that he set himself into a spin. I felt better seeing that. I anchored myself with one hoof and grabbed him with the other.

“Precisely!” I said. “All we need do is set the ships sensors to scan for that frequency. We find a harmonic signal and we find the data solid!”

Dazzle pondered that. “That would work! Nothing else onboard would have the same frequency or you’d run the risk of blanking the information.” She nodded emphatically, grinning through her faceplate. “That’s why you wear the gold on your blue shirt, Commander!”

“Well, let’s hope we can salvage something good out of this barrel of horse apples.” I conceded the point humbly. “Let’s get on this.” I reached up and tabbed the comm. “Boarding Party to Hermes.”

The Captain’s voice came back almost immediately. “Hermes here, Commander. Report.”

“Sir. The ship is a complete write-off. We’ve recovered three dead crewponies. Drive section is gone. No hope of restoring power. The Cimarron’s computer had been ransacked in such a way to make me believe that all pertinent files have been downloaded and hidden somewhere onboard. I need the ship’s sensors to scan this vessel for the signature of the data solid. It’s our only hope to find out what was going on here.”

Caper grunted thoughtfully. “Pirates may have done same thing, da?”

Oof! I hadn’t thought of that. Oh, well. “I’m hoping they were in too much of a hurry to loot and scoot. Other than that I can’t think of anything else to try.”

“Is good idea, regardless. Wish I had thought it, Commander.”

“Well, when you write the report you can say you thought of it. Fine by me.”

“Ha. Ha. Nice try, bubula!” I could just see him waggling his finger at me. “Your idea, you write report. You can’t trick old Pony so easy, da? I will make sure to mention your resourceful idea in glowing detail in my log, hokay?”

Stimbolt chuckled and Dazzle shook her head inside her helmet. I smiled with my voice. “Gee, thanks. Standing by.”

“We scan now.” Caper kept the channel open and relayed the request to my replacement, an Earth Pony mare named Melody who came online a few moments later.

“Commander? I’m reading storage media in the ship’s computer core and a few terminals. Other than that the only readings I’m getting are on the Bridge.”

I perked up my ears inside the helmet. Stimbolt carefully spun around and started looking. Dazzle stirred, waiting to get the search narrowed down. “The core and the systems tied to it are wiped. Where on the Bridge is it in relation to us?”

I heard Melody tweaking her board in a series of muted beeps. “You’re right on top of it from what I can see. Somewhere within a few feet. I’m getting some interference… Is there a magically-powered device nearby?”

I did my own visual scan of the Bridge, just a bit irritated. Leave it to magic to muck up good, reliable technology…

“Negative.” I replied. “The Bridge is dark and…” I almost said ‘dead’. “Unpowered by anything. …How long would it take to decouple the magical enhancements to the sensors?”

“Take them offline and scan the straight EM frequencies?” Smart filly! She’d already seen where I was going with this. She had a bright future ahead of her. Should have been an Equestrin! “Better part of an hour. I can get a team on it straightaway.”

“Excuse me, Commander?” Dazzle came on the suit-to-suit channel.

“Stand by, Melody.” I switched frequencies. “You have an idea, Chief?”

Dazzle pointed at her horn with a gauntleted hoof. “I have a few spells I picked up as part of my training. One of them is for detecting magical objects. You know, like surveillance talismans, anti-detection screens, magical explosives, things like that. I can take a buck at finding whatever it is.” She waited patiently while I blinked.

“… Wow. I had no idea you ponies were even trained in stuff like that!”

She shrugged inside her suit. “You can enchant the damndest things to go up in a cloud of balefire. Part of the job. It’s not all cupcakes and parties out there.”

I nodded. “You just got yourself a job, Chief! Have at it.”

“Balefire booby traps?” Stimbolt wondered, looking aghast.

“Oh, yeah!” Dazzle turned herself carefully to look at the Midshippony. “We did a sweep once and found that somepony had rigged a toilet seat to go off when the target…”

“Ouch!” Stimbolt said as his imagination filled in the details.

“You joined Starfleet to look for bombs?” I interrupted, genuinely curious.

“Security training, Ma’am.” She gave me a slight smile. “Better than any Detective training planetside. Starfleet needs bomb squads as much as it needs starships. Lots of unfriendlies out there.”

“Wow.” I said again. “Everypony says I’ve led such a sheltered life. I guess they were right. It’s your show, Chief!” I waved her on and switched back to the Hermes. “Hold off on that, Melody. Dazzle’s going to try to isolate whatever it is.”

“Standing by, Commander.”

Dazzle paused for a moment, then her horn lit up with violet radiance. Stimbolt and I looked around to see if anything lit up in response. She gave an expert twitch of a hoof that propelled her in a slow transit of the Bridge, waving her head back and forth in gentle arcs. She frowned.

“Well… I’ve got something.” She checked her forward motion using Stimbolt who promptly rebounded slowly away, grabbing a console to stop himself. She drifted over to the Comm/Science station where Roundhouse made his last stand. “It’s in here, Commander. Somewhere.”

“That can’t be right. The storage in there is useless for anything except being an expensive paperweight.” I pointed out.

But Dazzle flipped herself upside-down and cautiously inserted her head under the console. After a moment she waved a hoof at us. “It’s under here. Inside the console! … Can’t find any panel or lock, though… Huh. Stimbolt, take a look, will you?”

Stimbolt crept hoof-over-hoof and looked under the console from the opposite side. Both their helmeted heads took up nearly all the space underneath so I drifted off to the side and waited. After a bit Dazzle pulled out and righted herself relative to myself, her horn still glowing.

“It’s inside all right. But I can’t make out how anypony could have put it in there.” I watched her chew her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Teleportation, maybe. But putting it somewhere you can’t even see would be a really neat trick. Anyhow, there’s two objects in there. The magical whatsit and something that feels like the data solid we’re looking for.” I wondered how she could ‘feel’ something with her horn, but squashed the thought.

“Good job, Chief. I’ll talk glowingly about you in my log!” Dazzle smirked as I grabbed the console and inverted myself to take a look.

Stimbolt glanced up as I eased my helmet inside to join him.

“I think the Chief nailed it on the head, Commander. As far as I can tell there’s no opening in here.” He said. “Had to have been teleported. I was just going to open it up.” He held up a vibrocutter from his toolkit. Basically an oscillating diamond blade on a handle, it was a general-purpose cutting tool capable of carving anything short of duranium. “This is just plastic. Shouldn’t take but a couple seconds.

I nodded to him and he sketched out a neat rectangle. On the last stroke the piece he cut came loose, half of it depressed inward and the other half sticking up. He carefully pinched the protruding bit between thumb and forefinger and drew it gingerly out.

“Careful! The edges are going to be sharp.” Rather than slide the piece out past him, and risking a slice to his suit, he backed out bodily with the thing in front of him. I eased forward as he left and took a peek inside…

Behind a lattice of dark fiber-optic cables was a narrow space between some transtator boards in which floated a bright yellow data solid slipped inside of…

I blinked three or four times as the Mare in my head kept rejecting the image of what I was seeing. Finally she just stared at her screen and joined me in a moment of disbelief!

It was a… statue. Well, a statuette, actually. Just a little big bigger than the rectangular data solid and made out of something white. It was shaped like some sort of four-legged Pegasus! Something from the Old Days when all Ponies went on four legs, if you believe that sort of thing. … I squinted, looking at it more closely. No, not a Pegasus. The wings were wrong. This thing had what looked like butterfly wings folded tight against its body and two thin antennae lying flat against its head. It was half crouched as if it were cowering, I found myself rejecting a wild notion that popped into my head for some reason that insisted that the little thing was crouching to fit in such a small place. The little face was looking upwards with a frozen expression of almost forlorn hope… I scowled at myself inside my helmet for wasting time on equimorphosizing an inanimate object. I took another look. The data solid was tucked between its legs like a napkin in a napkin holder. Why in the name of Luna’s Lavender Socks would somepony…. ?

Stimbolt stuck his head back inside. “What do you see, Commander?”

I started, my helmet bonking off the console and back onto the floor. I stopped myself in time to keep it from happening again and shot a cross look at the hapless Middie. “Damnit, Stimbolt!”

The Engineering pony drew back. “Sorry, Ma’am. Thought you saw me coming.”

“No, I didn’t. … Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that.” I said sheepishly.

“Everything ok in there?” Dazzle asked, concerned.

“A-ok, Chief!” I called out. “It’s just that I have something weird in here.” I thought for a second. “Can you fire that spell up again? What can you tell me about the magical object? Is it a balefire trap?”

Stimbolt looked alarmed. “But if they wanted to destroy it wouldn’t it have been easier to do it when they were boarded in the first place? I mean, why bother hiding it then?”

Dazzles’ violet aura had enveloped the little thing, the shimmering light seeming to strike a spark of light into those tiny eyes. I tore my gaze away and looked at Stimbolt.

“Maybe the crew hoped somepony else would find the ship eventually. Somepony who could defuse the damn thing.” Without waiting for a reply, I continued. “What do you think, Dazzle?”

Dazzle waited a few more seconds before answering slowly.
“I… don’t know, Commander. I’m not getting a bomb vibe from it, exactly. There’s a lot of magic involved, but just what it is I can’t put my horn on it. Never came up against anything like it.” She paused for a moment. “Maybe I should take it out of there. I’ve got a shield spell…”

“Against balefire?” I asked. “No, you take Stimbolt back into the corridor and shut the door. Rig up your shield out there and wait.”

“Uh.” Stimbolt took a deep breath and kept most of the quaver out of his voice. “Look. I’m, ah, the lowest ranking pony here…”

“Zark off, kid!” Dazzle cut him off. “I have the training to…”

“And I have the pretty gold filigree on my sleeves that says I get the chance to order you both the hell out of here!” I said more sharply than I intended. I took a deep breath and went on. “Look, let’s not be melodramatic here. For all we know this thing is just rigged to fry the data solid, if it does anything at all. Stimbolt, give me that tool then the both of you get out of here. I’ll give you a shout when I’m done. When we get back to the ship you two can put me on report, ok? Now get going.” I reached for the vibrotool.

He handed it over slowly. I could see in his face that he was desperately trying to think of some way to change my mind. Dazzle kept grimly silent, but I could feel her disapproval.

I switched channels to just his suit alone. “Stimbolt. Do you really want an insubordination charge on your record this early in your career? I appreciate what you’re willing to do. Really, I do! You did all you could do, but it’s my Command so it’s my job, ok? Comes with the gold braid. Give me the tool and we’ll all laugh about this over dinner tonight.” I tossed him a smile. “Now, scram, Mister!”

The young buck gulped and put the cutter in my hoof and paused a moment before jerking himself away. His eyes sought mine and locked on. “So… How early in your career did you get your first insubordination reprimand?”

I held his gaze for a moment and deadpanned. “About three weeks. But it was wartime and everything happened faster in those days! Now, as my dear, old, Aunt used to say… ’G’wan, beat it!’” he scooted away and I re-enabled the general suit-to-suit channel in time to hear Dazzle.

“-me on, Kid! It’s her show now.” I waited a few moments and felt the deck vibrate as the door to the Bridge shut. Almost immediately Dazzles’ voice came back over my helmet. “All set, Commander. We’re in the first stateroom and my shield is up. Let’s hope we’re all just a bunch of silly ponies here.”

“Copy that, Dazzle. I’m going to get this thing out now.” I reached forward with the tool and paused. “Hey, Dazzle?”

“Commander?”

“If anything should happen… Tell Sunny…”

“Got it covered, Commander. …As the most expendable pony Stimbolt gets the job of telling her.”

“…Oh, hell no!” Stimbolt squawked! “That Alicorn scares the crap out of me! I‘ll take my chances with a bomb any day!”

I couldn’t help it, I broke up laughing! I was more nervous than I thought. When I could breathe again I assured the hapless Middie.

“Relax, Stimbolt. Sunny is all bark and no bite. If she does give you a hard time, though, tell her I’ll haunt the hell out of her!”

Dazzle chuckled. “Duly noted. Good luck, Commander.”

“Right!” I raised the cutter and sliced the fiber-optic lines, opening up a slice just long enough for me the reach in through. “I’ve cleared out the clutter and I’m reaching in for the data solid.” As an Augment I’m able to control a lot of what, in any other pony, would be involuntary physical processes. I quelled my heart rate and calmed my mind using the mental disciplines our ancestors developed back on Earth. Intellectually I realized that the odds that the damn thing would go off in my face weren’t likely. After all, why go to all this trouble to risk destroying such valuable data? …The mare in my mind pointed out that non-Augment ponies don’t always act rationally and played back a lot of Sunny’s antics by way of example. I sent her back a reply that made her tsk when she read her screens and reached in and grasped the little statue. For the record, I wasn’t shutting my eyes defensively I just happened to blink is all. I let out the breath I hadn’t realized I was holding.

“Got it. Come back in and we’ll all be silly ponies together!” I plucked the data solid from between the knees of the figure and flourished it as the hatch opened. Dazzle glided into the room to make an expert landing standing on the far wall followed by Stimbolt who contented himself pulling himself around and anchoring himself to the doorframe. He jerked to a halt when he saw what I was holding.

“That’s what we so worked up about?” He began to laugh.

“Nopony suspected that toilet seat either, kid.” Dazzle pointed out, shutting him up. Then she drifted closer, halting her forward motion on the console I just gutted. “Must have some sentimental value for somepony to invest that kind of enchantment. Can’t see why. Just a knacky piece of junk...” She reached out for the thing for a closer look. I handed it to her and the instant she took it her suit lights went out and the glare shielding of her faceplate opaqued! She reached reflexively to her suit controls, her body going tense. She flung the statue away.

I jammed the data solid into a pocket and, anchoring myself with one leg, spun her around to check her suit integrity. Stimbolt drifted up as fast as he could and began to jack his suit into hers to run a diagnostic.

“I’m not seeing any venting !” He called out. “Suit intact from here!”

“Here, too!” I acknowledged. Then, “Dazzle! Do you read me? Squeeze my hoof if your environment controls are working!” If she had a total life support failure her air would last a few minutes at least. The properties of the suit would keep her from freezing. Quite the opposite was the real danger. The suits were so thermally insulated that a pony could cook in their own juices if left unattended. I grabbed her gauntleted hoof and squeezed. She squeezed back and I relaxed just a little.

“…-at the Hell is go-…” Dazzles’ voice emerged in very irritated snatches between intervals of static. “-cuking Cadet! The rat-molesting little….curse on it! …never gonna liv-…-is down!”

“Take it easy, Chief. We’ve got you. Copy that the figure is cursed. Do you want an emergency beam out?” I was sorely tempted to send her back whether she wanted it or not… but she was feeling embarrassed enough already for falling for a booby trap ‘like a Cadet’, apparently.

Dazzle shook her head and made a negative gesture with her free hoof. “No. I’m g-… …you receiving.. -mander?”

I gave her hoof a squeeze. “Your transmissions are all broken up. Better stay off the channel unless something important comes up.”

She gave me a thumbs-up and relaxed just a little, her body language speaking volumes of profane prose.

“Stimbolt?”

The Middie replied distractedly. “It’s a… non-specific interruption of some of her suit systems. Life support is ok, comm channels are, obviously, uh, compromised. Suit sensors and lights are out. It’s just non-life threatening stuff, thank Celestia.”

“Sounds pretty specific in those regards to me, Stimbolt.” I observed.

“The physical location of the malfunction is non-specific, Ma’am. There’s no damage to the actual components, the power and data flow to the affected systems is being constantly obstructed at random points in the circuits. I would detect a computer virus, therefore, and obviously, this is magical in nature. Uh, I’ll try to be more precise in the future.” He got back to work.

“It wasn’t a criticism, Stimbolt. Just a reminder. .. Something you can pass along when you pick up a cuff full of gold braid.” I said gently. The young bucks’ eyes widened for a moment. I suspected that he thought his prospects of promotion were at their lowest point. His eyes darted to me for just an instant and I caught a spark of gratitude there. Hell, I was a Middie too, once upon a time.

Dazzle reached behind her, grabbing Stimbolt’s helmet and working downward until she could get hold of the young pony’s arm. She gave it a squeeze. Good for her!

“Um, right!” Stimbolt flustered. “Let me see what I can do to work around this. I think I can restore her systems using my suit.”

“Carry on, Mister!” I said. Dazzle tossed another thumbs-up in his direction as he set to work. I tabbed the ship’s channel again. “Boarding party to Hermes.”

“Everything hokay, Commander?” Caper sounded more curious than worried.

“We recovered the data, Sir. The magical object turned out to be a…” I paused, wondering how to put it best. “…Particularly well disguised and subtle sort of security device.” Dazzle threw a particularly grateful thumbs-up in my general direction. “Dazzle’s suit is experiencing some minor malfunctions. She’s inconvenienced, not endangered.” I added hurriedly.

Caper grunted. “We picked up odd readings on suit telemetry but did not interfere since life signs still strong and I trust judgment of Science Offic- I mean, Exec.” I could hear the smile.

“Both of us appreciate that, Captain. Give us a few minutes and we’ll be getting underway here. Boarding party out.”

“Da.”

I clicked off. “What’s the word, Stimbolt? Can we reboot the suit?”

“Gonna give it a try right now, Ma’am. Chief? Your suit is going to go offline. That should purge whatever is happening to it. I’ll do a quick diagnostic and re-initialize your systems. Should take about twenty seconds. If I run into a snag I’ll have you beamed back before you can say ‘applesauce’, all right?” Dazzle gave his arm a squeeze and another thumbs-up.

I chuckled. “Chief, you’re going to sprain your thumb if you keep talking so much! Just imagine what Doctor Cross would say!”

The Chief quickly folded her arms across her chest, tucking her hooves in her armpits. It was odd to think that the Love of my Life had my shipmates in such a terrorized state. I mentally shrugged. Alicorns!

“Take it away, Stimbolt.”

“Roger! Going offline in three… two… one!” He scrutinized the readouts on his arm display. “… Completely depowered. I’m getting no readings of any anomalous energy readings magical or otherwise.” He tapped a few commands and checked the cables linking his suit to hers. “All right. Re-initializing now!

Dazzles’ suit lights came on almost immediately, her faceplate depolarizing in accordance to the ambient light.

“That was a mighty quick twenty seconds!” She beamed at us both.

Stimbolt smiled winningly. “Old Engineering trick! The estimated time to repair is always at least twice as long as it actually takes. How else do you think we keep our reputations as miracle workers?”

I shook my head in my helmet. “I officially didn’t hear that! Welcome back, Chief. Everything all right?”

Dazzle checked her internal displays. “Everything’s all five-by-five in here. Just like nothing ever happened. Hey, thanks for the good word, Commander. Little Rock will still ream me a good one, but it won’t be as bad this way.”

“Come on, Chief! It wasn’t like you were taking an unwarranted risk or anything.”

“Yeah, maybe. But with things like that you only get exactly one mistake to make. Should have given it another spell-check before I even touched it. The question now is why it didn’t go off when you touched it?” She looked around. “Where’d the damn thing go anyway?”

“It’s probably in a million pieces by now.” I said. “It’s been cold-soaked at absolute zero for five years and you winged it away pretty good. Pity, it was a pretty little thing for all that it was cursed.” I began a slow spin to visually sweep the Bridge.

Stimbolt finished stowing his tools before he looked up. “Maybe it was rigged to go off on a magic-user? You might even had primed it when you scanned it. You know, gave it a target!”

Dazzle growled something under her breath along the lines of ’I’ll show it what a target feels like!’ as she, too, spun slowly.

We finished our spins within a second of each other, spotting nothing. Dazzle frowned.

“Must’ve rebounded into the corridor.”

Considering she had thrown it at a right angle, plus fifteen or so degrees in a vertical plane, I looked dubious. “That had to have been one hell of a fancy bank shot! I would have thought that it would have shattered. Well… we have the data solid, at least. Hopefully we’ll pick the little thing up on our way…”

While I spoke, I dropped my hand to the pouch in my suit where I’d stashed the ‘solid. I was intensely surprised when my hoof encountered something else. We all looked at the head of the little statuette sticking out of the pouch in stunned silence until Stimbolt cleared his throat.

“Remind me to never play pool against the Chief. Oddball in the side pocket!”

I plucked it out of the pouch. The data solid was tucked back between its legs again. …Of course it was!

“Well then.” I said, finally. “It’s definitely got some magic left, doesn’t it?” The Universe may not care but, sometimes, it’s just plain weird!

“Commander?” Dazzle looked at the little curio narrowly. “Could you take the data solid out again? And just let the little weirdo float there a bit. I’ll give it another going over.”

I plucked the yellow module out and stashed it away. A moment later the little thing was covered in the soft, violet aura of Dazzles’ horn.

“Ok.” She murmured. “I’m getting a much more subdued magical reading now. …Must be a minor enchantment to protect it and keep it clean or something. Pretty low-power stuff.” She peered at it closely as she telekinetically brought it closer to her faceplate. “Odd sort of feel to it, though. I’d almost bet my next shore leave that it isn’t Unicorn magic.”

“Maybe it’s a Zebra-made talisman of some sort.” Stimbolt volunteered, drifting up to look over her shoulder.

“Your guess is as good as mine!” I admitted. “I know about as much about magic as I do of Romulan drinking games. Glad it’s in one piece, though…”

The glow from Dazzles’ horn faded and she reached out to take it in hoof. “Though why anypony… or Zebra… would invest any magic in a five centicredit piece of junk like this is beyond me!” She plucked it out of the vacuum and stiffened as her lights went down again! A burst of static blurred her voice before cutting it off. “Celestia damn it!”

I managed to grab it away before she could hurl it against the far wall. I grabbed Dazzle to keep her from caroming off the ceiling. Stimbolt anchored himself and did the same, drawing his toolkit out with a free hoof.

“Uh, Chief? It’s my technical opinion that you should stop pissing it off!”

I sealed the curious curio up in my suit pouch and we rebooted Dazzles’ suit again with no problem. I wasn’t in the mood for any more ‘excitement’ so I shepherded our little group back to the cargo bay to bring the remains of the Cimarron’s’ crew back to the ship.

While I changed back into my uniform the Hermes had moved off to transport the other bodies aboard. Sunny was already in the briefing room by the time I’d arrived. She looked grim and a little angry. Well, at least she didn’t have to see those poor ponies drifting in the wreckage like so much junk…. I banished the memory as I took a seat next to her and picked up a cup of hot tea from the tray on the table. Stimbolt was sitting rigidly at attention to Caper’s immediate right with both hooves clasped in front of him on the table. Dazzle sat in a more relaxed, though scrupulously respectful, version of attention next to him. Caper, as usual, sat forward in his chair, leaning on an armrest. Chairs made for anypony else just don’t work for Pegasus wings. Xantippe had arranged herself just behind him on the left with her eyes cast courteously, as Zebras seem to reckon it, downward with her hooves clasped in an over-and-under fashion in front. One of the new tricorders was slung over her shoulder.

I’d brought the curio with me and deposited it on the table. Dazzle gave it a sour look, Stimbolt gave it glance and Sunny quirked an eyebrow at it, momentarily jarred out of her anger. For his part, Caper gave it a sad look and grunted.

“Ah! Such pretty little thing to bring back from such a somber place, da?” He shook his head and continued. “ Have been hearing reports from rest of boarding party. Is anything you wish to add to record, Commander?”

I took a sip from the cup then toyed with the thing idly. “No. We’re five years too late to help those poor ponies. Whoever hit them didn’t leave much. That ship is a wreck, pure and simple. Any luck with the data solid?”

Caper waggled a finger at me. “Was coming to that! Melody had begun decrypting information.” He sighed. “Am sorry to say that initial suspicions were true. These ponies were smuggling.”

“Is that t’ say that t’was all right they had t’ be killed like that, then?” Sunny said dangerously.

“No, Doctor Cross. It. Does. Not.” He gave her a broadside with his eyes that even Sunny had to slow down for before continuing. “Were still Federation citizens. Federation would have dealt with them more… appropriately, nyet? Would probably have finished serving sentence by now and been back making legal living and serving society instead of being corpses. Would have had chance, anyway. Not like what they got at hooves of pirates!” He released her from his gaze. Sunny, I could just see, was going to come back with something indignant so I stepped on her hoof. I got a dirty look but at least she shut up.

The Captain looked to the rest of us. “Soul of Cimarron was dealing in stolen antiquities. Manifest indicates that cargo was decorated stonework, polished stone facings, even a few worked stone blocks as well as some partial marble statuary. All from a site a few miles away from present-day Ponyville in Whitetail Wood Nature Preserve. According to data they were taking artifacts from what is considered to be the former Royal Residence of the Goddesses Celestia and Luna. According to legend.” He acknowledged. “Crew went in, grabbed what they could until orbiting ship could beam them up. Very slickly done! Must hand it to them for chutzpah!”

Dazzle frowned. “Who in their right minds would want to pay for that stuff?”

“Orions, apparently.” Caper shrugged. “Black Market antiquities appeal to diverse groups. What is broken stone to us is exotic curiosity for aliens. Is customer for anything, da?”

“But it wasna junk!” Sunny exclaimed, looking shocked. “This was part of something Celestia, aye, n’ Luna lived with! D’ye no ken?” She looked from face to face in disbelief. Dazzle didn’t quite roll her eyes. Stimbolt looked carefully at nothing at all while the Captain regarded her with a neutral expression. For my part, I laid a hoof on top of one of hers and gave it a soft squeeze.

“I do not say that artifacts have no cultural value.” The Captain continued carefully. “Theft is theft. Fate of Cimarron crew in no way deserved in any case, as good Doctor will agree, da?”

“O’ course!” Sunny shot back. “’Tis just th’ idea that somepony’d be stealin’ from th’ likes o’ them! …Or am I th’ only Pony who feels this way?” She sat back in her seat, spreading her wings a bit to make room. Her eyes traveled to each of us in turn.

Dazzle cleared her throat. “Assuming ‘they’ existed outside of mythology, that is. As it was they didn’t seem to be able to do much about the theft. …Unless you want to call death by Pirate some sort of ‘divine retribution’.” She made air quotes with her hooves, which irritated me on Sunny’s behalf.

So, for her sake, I spoke up. “Look, I’m an Earth Pony from Equestris. The Goddesses were strictly a Terrestrial phenomena but we brought the concept with us because, although they were the, ah, living embodiment of All Things Magical, they were also the living embodiment of All Things Pony, wings, horns, and know-how. My ancestors rejected Magic on principle but they never rejected the fact that they were still Ponies. The Goddesses were an Ideal, whether they actually lived or not and that was good enough for us. Other Ponies have other faiths and it’s not for any of us to denigrate them. All that we can say is that the crew of the Cimarron died while doing something illegal by the laws of the Federation. They weren’t evil and they certainly didn’t deserve to be butchered in deep space for mere credits!”

To her credit Dazzle looked contrite. She regarded me levelly for a few seconds before turning to Sunny.

“The Commander is right. Sorry, Doc! I wasn’t meaning to step on your hooves there.” She smirked bashfully at Sunny before continuing. “… I’m probably going to get the cold stethoscope next time I come in, aren’t I?”

“Och! Dinna fash yesel’! I grew up in a different environment ‘tis all.” Sunny waved a dismissive hoof and I had a sudden thought of her living through the bombing of Coventry and spending so much of her fillyhood living in fallout shelters. I loved her so much at that moment! “’Sides, if I were th’ truly vindictive type I’d be turnin’ yon bit o’ bric-a-brac loose on ye again, wouldn’t I?” … The smile she gave her told me the thought had crossed her mind.

Dazzle reared back although she was diagonally across the table from it. “Keep that thing away from me! I wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot stimbolt! Er, well, you know what I mean, kid!”

Stimbolt had the grace not to chuckle at the Chief’s expense, but he did smile widely! “No problems, Chief! The little whatsit sure does seem to have it in for you, doesn’t it? So… is that thing part of the cargo?” He pointed across the table at the little figurine.

Caper shook his head and grunted a negative. “Was not listed. Is probably personal property of some crewpony. The Captain, maybe, since it was hidden with data.” He shrugged. “Pending claim by relatives who can identify is now just souvenir.”

“You uncovered it, Mister Stimbolt!” I began sliding it across the table. “It’s yours.”

But Stimbolt waved it off. “Me keep that thing in Engineering with all those Unicorns and magically-powered equipment? No thanks! Dazzle found it, anyway.”

“Don’t look at me! I’d just as soon chuck it in the recycler!” Dazzle crossed her arms and shook her head. “No. Way! I don’t even know what the damn thing is supposed to be anyway.”

“Oh, come now!” Sunny interjected. “’Tis a Fairy!” We gave her an assortment of blank looks and she continued. “One o’ Th’ Little Ponies, ye ken. Wee little magical folk fond o’ playin’ pranks n’ helpin’ out ‘round house. … Did none o’ ye ever had bedtime stories told t’ ye afore?” She looked pained. “What do they teach young ponies anymore? She cocked a challenging eyebrow at Dazzle for just a moment.

Dazzle shrugged. “I read the stories of the Light Bringer. You know, right after the Eugenics War. Always liked those stories even though no Pony could get that shot up that many times and live!”

“Grandmare always read me the classics.” Stimbolt put in. “All the stories of the Mares who wielded the Elements of Harmony back before ‘The Bad Old Days‘.” It was his turn to make air quotes. “… Nothing in those stories about Fairies, though.”

“Da! Rainbow Dash, the greatest of Mane Mares.” Caper looked reminiscent. “ Was good Rushin mare! Read them when was just little flyer.” Xantippe looked as if she were going to say something but bit her tongue, though her eyes sparkled at the thought of the Captain capering through the clouds as a colt.

Sunny rolled her eyes. “Am I detectin’ just a wee bit o’ Pegasai prejudice? Still, somepony had a bit o’ whimsy t’ enchant th’ little thing like that, to be sure.”

“Yeah.” Dazzle said sourly. “A veritable Pinky Pie. Har-dee-har-har.”

I pulled it back toward me by its little tail. “Right then. I’ll hang on to it. If anypony claims it, it’ll be in our cabin. Don’t worry, I won’t take it anywhere near Engineering or Security!” I winked to the other two ponies across from me. Dazzle, for the record, looked relieved.

Caper nodded. “Then for now we are done! We will get to Alpha Centauri tonight and turn over report to Starfleet. Will be in their hooves then.” He stirred and stood up. “If nothing else to add…?” He glanced around the room. “Dismissed.”

Everypony filed out of the room. As they left I gathered the little thing to me and stroked the tiny head. “Looks like you’re coming to live with us, Squirt! Hope you don’t snore, one in the cabin is bad enough!”

Sunny chuckled and shook her head. “Ye didna play wi’ dolls growin’ up, did ye?” Then she stood and flicked me with a wing. “And I dinna snore!”

Chapter Thirteen- A Reunion...Kinda

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

A REUNION…KINDA

The curio took up residence on a stand next to the door to our cabin and was promptly forgotten when the ship put in to Starbase Two that evening.

Shore Leave was authorized for the few days we’d be there. I elected to stay on board though I did promise Sunny that we’d take in dinner and some shopping on the last day. Heck, we’d hardly been on board long enough to need a change of scenery. Sunny agreed with me content just to be where I was, bless her heart! “Wait till we’ve been in here a year or so.” I warned her. “You’ll be begging for a spacewalk! I promise not to turn down the next Shore Leave no matter where it is, fair enough?”

“’Tis a date then!” She said breezily. “Speakin’ o’ yon, ye’d best put a wiggle in it if we’re no goin’ t’ be late.”

“I wasn’t the one who had to style her mane.” I pointed out delicately, tactfully omitting her insistence on getting her wings preened, too. “Sheesh! It’s not like we’re meeting the Federation President.”

She slipped the bangle she’d chosen from her collection over her horn and tilted her head this way and that, admiring the polished gold and little sapphires in front of the mirror.

“Fiffle!” She admonished. “No reason not to put our best hoof forward, isn’t it? We dinna want these Science-types t’ think we’re a lot o’ barbarians in Starfleet, now don’t we?” She touched up a few stray curls that dared to almost deviate from perfection. …Alicorns!

“They’re civilian scientists, Sunny! Like as not they’ll have eyes just for our equipment.” I chided.

“Precisely!” She declared. “N’ I want t’ make sure all me equipment is in top-notch order!” She snerkled and fluttered me a wink. I gave her tail a yank.

“Steady on! Took me th’ better part o’ an hour t’ comb that out!”

“I know, I was here all the time! And I hardly think a Vulcan is going to interested in your, uh, personal equipment anyway.” I loomed over her shoulder and patted my own mane into place before giving her lovely neck a nibbling smooch that made her giggle like a filly. Then I gave her bottom a swat. “’Sides! I thought I had first dibs on your ‘equipment‘!”

Sunny gave me a full dose of reflected megawattage from her eyes as she dimpled. “Just keepin’ ye on yer hooves, Dear!”

“But he’s a Tellarite, for goodness sake!”

She turned and bopped the end of my muzzle with a finger. “Oh dinna be such a bigot! Sure an’ they can’t all be that bad! An’ ye bein’ a Starfleet officer!” She tsked.

“It’s not bigotry.” I insisted. “It’s bitter personal experience. I was stationed with Tellarites for two years, don’t forget.” I held my hooves up in surrender. “For your sake I hope I’m wrong! Just let’s not be late, okay? Why push our luck?”

Sunny, ever the optimist, gave me a peck on the cheek. “Stuff n’ nonsense! It is th’ twenty-bloody-third century, Starry! Now come along n’ quit dawdlin’!” She waited for me to offer her an arm and we left.

The nearest transporter station was two decks down and I kept us to a brisk pace until we got there. The transporter tech, a blue and orange Unicorn in a red jumpsuit was going over his board as the doors parted with a subdued whoosh. He nodded, smiling to both of us.

“Commander, Doctor. Starbase Two just signaled that they’re ready to teleport.” Being a Federation Starbase they had plenty of Unicorn arcano-techs around so, naturally, they’d opted to use a teleport spell rather than the beam transporter system. I nodded to him.

“Very good, Mr. … Puzzle, is it?”

The young buck blinked, obviously surprised. I made it a point to try to remember all the crew’s names. After all, we all depend on each other, right?

“Yes, Ma’am! Gee! We’ve hardly met for more than a minute days ago. I’m surprised you remembered.” He fumbled for a moment, suddenly realizing he was talking with a superior officer. I waved away his embarrassment.

“Don’t worry about it. We’re all crew here, right? Is this your first deep-space posting?”

“Yes, Ma’am. It’s an exciting job.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t get too exciting!” I offered him a knowing smile before getting back to business. “Who do we have coming up?”

Puzzle consulted his display. “A Mister Sekkack of the Vulcan Science Academy and a Mister Bors Bogan of the Science Ministry of The Unified Families of Tellar.” He recited, looking up as I flinched.

For my smile froze as a shiver went up my spine when I heard the Tellarites name.

“That name rings a bell, doncha know?” Sunny mused. “I seem t’ recall that Merry was tellin’ me that there was a Tellar fellow by that name back when ye were here durin’ th’ War…”

“Can’t be the same person.” I cut her off, shaking myself. “The Bors Bogan I knew was a glorified shipping Forepony, er, foreperson! A bureaucrat, not a scientist. The name is pure coincidence. Lotsa Bogans on Tellar.” I tried to sound confident but I suddenly taken with a sense of foreboding. I drew myself up and gave Puzzle a wan smile. “Spell them aboard, Mr. Puzzle. Cast away!”

“I should hope ‘tis another Bogan!” Sunny chuckled. “Did ye no stuff that other laddie in cargo container when he got a wee boisterous? Ye’d make a grand sort o’ Diplomat, wouldn’t ye?”

I shushed her and came to attention as Puzzle concentrated on the spell. Teleportation is basically instantaneous. In situations like this, teleporting from surface-to-ship, two unicorns cast the spell simultaneously after making magical contact with one another. One ‘transmits’ while the other ‘receives’. Otherwise the Unicorn on the surface would have to guess where exactly to deposit his charges. Magic, for all its advantages, has its limitations.

An orange aura built up around the transporter platform as Puzzle cast his half of the spell. Within it there arose a dark blue glow. (The Unicorn down below having, apparently, a dark blue or violet horn. Hard to be sure, it being seen through an orange filter as it were.) Hardly more than a pinpoint at first, it expanded almost instantly until it touched Puzzle’s glow whereupon both fields collapsed in a two-toned flash of magical luminescence. Two figures stood on the platform, one blinking away the afterimage and the other gazing serenely about him.

Puzzle toggled his communicator. “Hermes confirms successful spellcast, Starbase Two.”

“Copy that, Hermes. Starbase Two out.” The voice of the unknown Unicorn from below signed off as I put my best professional face on for our two guests.

The Vulcan, an aged and frankly portly Sehlat (As opposed to the reptilian Le-Matya that comprised Vulcans’ other intelligent species.) wore various shades of brown and pale orange under a long tan cloak. His eyes were mild brown, his fur just a few shades darker. His ears were round and comparatively tiny in relation to the size of his head, a biological adaptation to the hot, dry climate of his homeworld no doubt. Back in my youth (Was it really only ten years ago?) I once had a Vulcan described to me by a Terrestrial Trader Pony as looking like a ‘Teddy Bear’. …On Vulcan, though, the Teddy Bears have six-inch fangs! He inclined his head gravely in my direction. I maintained a respectfully neutral expression since only a real derp would smile at a Vulcan!

The Mare on my minds Bridge facehoofed as she noticed Sunny treating him to her trademark smile complete with the full effect of both lovely, lavender eyes! Sheesh! How could you be in Starfleet and not know anything about Vulcans? Still, I mentally chuckled when I realized that this was one person who wouldn’t notice her ‘equipment’!

He did notice her, to give him his due. His gaze went from me and lingered on Sunny for perhaps a whole second. Maybe he felt something from those eyes… (Again, Starfleet should really look into that Alicorn Effect!) He didn’t smile, of course, …but his head did cant slightly to one side for just a moment and I caught a glimpse of something I couldn’t identify. Amusement? Appreciation? It was gone in an instant as he came closer.

“Greetings, Commander. I am Sekkack, son of Serik. Peace and Long Life.” He raised his left hand and made a vee by splaying the his ring and middle finger in the Vulcan version of a greeting hoofshake.

I’d tried to copy the gesture before and never could get it right so, rather than make a mockery of the gesture, I gave him a courteous half-bow.

“Welcome aboard the Hermes, Doctor Sekkack. I am Commander Starry-Eyes. Science Officer and First Officer for this voyage. I look forward to working with you. Your reputation in Cosmology precedes you.” The Vulcan inclined his head modestly at the compliment. I turned, indicating Sunny. “And this is my wife, Doctor Solar Cross. She’s our Chief Medical Officer.”

Sunny put a hoof out and I cringed inwardly. “How d’ye do, Doctor? This is a treat! I’ve never met a laddie from Vulcan before. I hope ye enjoy your stay on the Hermes.”

To my surprise, Sekkack grasped Sunny’s hoof, he obviously had experience dealing with the protocols of alien culture, though he did give a minute quirk of an eyebrow at her speech.

“I am quite well, thank you. I am sure my stay here will be very productive.” He paused for a moment, tilting his head ever-so-slightly. “I have never had the occasion to make the acquaintance of a member of your sub-species before. Alicorns are a comparative minority of Earth’s population.”

“Oh, aye! Well we like t’ think we make up for in quality what we lack in quantity, doncha know?” Sunny chuckled and treated him to a dazzling smile. Inwardly, again, I facehoofed.

“Indeed?” Sekkack intoned. “Perhaps we may meet later on and discuss some of the particulars regarding our cultures. I would find that most interesting. You and your spouse are representative of two fascinating cases of cultural development. For now, though, He swept one arm out gracefully to indicate the Tellarite. “… May I introduce my colleague, Mr. Bors Bogan of the Ministry of Science on Tellar.”

I’d intentionally been avoiding looking that way because I was suddenly taken by a feeling that the Universe was going to take it out on me today. Now I had no choice. With a resolutely calm and benign expression I turned my gaze squarely to Sekkack’s companion. The Mare in my head raised the shields and went to Yellow Alert…

The figure on the transporter platform was as short as I remembered, but several inches wider in circumference and was stuffed into a pale mauve outfit trimmed in equally pale yellow of some shiny synthetic. The red-gold fur was tinged in grey now… Tellarites age faster that Ponies… and was getting just a little bit thin on top. The scowl on his short, frankly porcine muzzle was sickeningly familiar, though, and those beady, close set eyes glared at me balefully. Yep, Not. My. Day.

My polite greeting never made it out of the hangar…

“Where is the Captain?” Bogan demanded in that hectoring, reedy voice I remembered so well. “How is it that such important and prestigious guests are met by mere subordinates?” He locked me with a defiant gaze.

I spent a fraction of a second utilizing a few mental disciplines to will myself calm before answering. “Welcome aboard, Mr. Bogan…”

“Doctor Bogan!” He corrected me with an added layer of glare. “I am a scientist now and will be treated with the proper respect.” His eyes dared me to say something, just anything, wrong. I backtracked and started again.

“Welcome aboard Hermes, Doctor Bogan. Captain Caper was not able to come because of events connected to an unfortunate encounter we had shortly before our arrival. He has asked me to apologize for his absence,” I lied. “And to extend to you both our best hospitality.” I smiled a thin, artificial smile. “May I introduce my wife and Chief Medical Officer, So-”

“Yes, yes! I heard already!” He made an impatient gesture, sparing Sunny not even a glance. I wondered if he would still fit into a cargo container… and how much fun it would be to find out!

Sunny, bless her heart, stepped right up and extended her hoof again. “Oh, aye! Well what can ye expect from a lot o’ soldiers, after all? Pleased t’ meet ye, Good Doctor Bogan, n’ welcome aboard!”

Maybe she was a little concerned because her eyes had no apparent effect on the Vulcan. It seemed to me, though, that she put everything she had into the dazzling smile she offered the Tellarite…

Bogan finally spared her a glance… and stalled in mid-rant! The blustering bureaucrat-turned-scientist blinked rapidly several times. Slowly, his scowl receded. His thick eyebrows drew apart gradually and an unrecognizable, utterly alien expression crept onto his face. Sweet Solar-Flaring Celestia… he was actually smiling!

He took the proffered hoof in one three-fingered hand and patted it gingerly with the other. For an instant I swore he was actually going to kiss it! Instead, though, he gave a peculiar sort of cringing bow before addressing my beloved.

“Thank you, Doctor Cross. Yes one must make allowances, mustn’t one? How wonderful to see that not all Starfleet personnel are barbarians!” He shot me a very brief, annoyed glance.

“Oh ye dinna ken th’ half o’ it!” Sunny said airily. “We must compare notes some time! Right now, though, I ken ye’ll be wantin’ t’ see your staterooms n’ get settled in before dinner. They’re just along this way on deck three. All th’ comforts o’ home in deep space!” She began leading the Tellarite toward the door, tossing me a triumphant look as she passed.

Bogan was, frankly, entranced. “What a delightful accent you have, Doctor Cross. I don’t believe I can place it… “ The doors swooshed shut as they passed through leaving the rest of us stunned.

Puzzle was staring with his mouth open. He shut it quickly and made a show of being busy with his board. I looked to Sekkack to find him staring at the doors with slightly widened eyes… the Vulcan analog of slack-jawed amazement, it would seem. From his posture it seemed to me as if he was getting ready to speak, no doubt to put some Vulcan oil on the troubled waters. Something, I had no doubt, he’d had to do all too often working with Bogan. Sunny, it seems, had caught him flat-pawed.

Before I could look away he darted a glance at me. He looked away quickly, drawing a deep breath and serenely tucking his paws into the cuffs of his sleeves. If it were anypony else I would say he was embarrassed. When he looked back he seemed to be ready to ask a question about what just happened. I saved him the trouble.

“Alicorns!” I shrugged and gestured him to the door.

Sekkack digested that for a fraction of a second and nodded thoughtfully.

“Fascinating.”

Chapter Fourteen- Bogan

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

BOGAN

Three days later the Hermes, belting along at time warp factor eight, was on the verge of crossing the official boundaries of Federation Space. The Mission Profile stated that we would, after making the crossing, throttle back to warp five and cruise with all sensors active and investigate anything that looked interesting. Star-mapping, observation, and good, old-fashioned scouting all on our own. Contact with Starfleet was already a matter of hours. Later on, it would be days and even months. The prospects were a little daunting but this is why we were in Starfleet, wasn’t it? Besides, the Ponies who established Equestris and the other colonies had it rougher. They were, after all, on one-way trips!

It had been a hectic week and I was looking forward to the dull routine of data gathering for a while. Our new guests were settling in with surprisingly little trouble. Sekkack, by nature, wasn’t much trouble. His performance in Astronomy was letter-perfect and he wasn’t above assisting other Departments when called upon. He seemed genuinely appreciative of the chance to use our state-of-art equipment, spending the vast majority of his free time on his own research. He wasn’t very sociable, but he was never rude. He ate alone, rarely initiated conversation, and seemed to get by on a mere three hours of sleep a day! Sunny, having reviewed her Vulcan Medical Database, assured me that this was perfectly safe so I didn’t bother to interfere. The rest of the crew seemed happy to indulge him so all was well in that regard.

Bogan, though…

Now Celestia knows I’m not one to indulge in stereotypes… having to live down the exploits of the megalomaniac Khan and Company… but Bogan was turning out to be the living embodiment of every bad thing you’ve ever heard about Tellarites. He was rude, arrogant, and generally obnoxious all around. He continuously demanded more computer time (Time he spent, I might add, playing elaborate role-playing game programs!), offered unsolicited and uninformed opinions on other ponies research to the point of driving a promising young filly in Geology to the point of tears. I needed to put a hoof down… and I wanted sooo much to put it down square on his noggin! The trouble was that the good Ponies who dictate policy in the Federation maintain that me all must exercise ‘Tolerance and understanding in the name of interspecies Friendship‘. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful idea… but I know Tellarites, damnit! If you don’t establish a sense of authority over them they’ll run out of control. Once you show them who’s boss they’re the some of the greatest, most productive people in the known Galaxy. … The trouble was getting them to that point!

Sunny and Xantippe and I were having lunch one afternoon and I was venting my frustrations on the subject. We’d put our dishes away and were having a cup of tea until our break was over.

“I dinna ken what you’re a-goin’ on about. Sure an’ th’ laddie has some rough edges but he’s always been naught but pleasant t’ me.” She said smugly.

“You have an unfair advantage.” I said sourly. “I wish you could teach me that eye trick!”

“Pfeh!” My Darling picked up her mug and took a delicate sip. … I love her but sometimes I just want to paste her with a pie!

Xantippe, who was drinking pale green tea out of a shallow bowl instead of a mug, paused with her drink nearly to her lips. “I know that I do not have the facts there are to be had, but surely he cannot be that bad!”

“He is an albatross around my neck.” I growled, knocking half my tea back like bad apple whiskey.

Sunny, an avid fan of ancient sketch comedy, chose that instant to have a flashback to a routine she liked from something called Mounted Python’s Flying Circus. (I had to see them all, of course. The bit about the pony who was sold a dead parrot was pretty funny... but I wasn’t in the mood just then!)

“Al-batross! Al-batross!” She caroled, causing ponies at the nearest table to give her an odd look.

I sighed. “Sunny! She probably doesn’t even get the reference how I meant it much less what you’re going on about! You see, it’s a reference to an ancient poem…”

But Xantippe held up a hoof to politely cut me off and began to recite in her exotic voice…

“And I had done a hellish thing,

And it would work ‘em woe.

For all averred, I’d killed the bird

That made the breeze to blow.

Ah, wretch! Said they, the bird to slay

That made the winds to blow!”

…Of course a Zebra would know rhyming poetry! I hung my head. “I stand corrected.”

Sunny patted my hoof. “A wretch ye may be, but ye’re my wretch!”

I couldn’t help but to giggle, it made me feel better!

Xantippe picked up her bowl and sipped. “So now instead of a Celestial Cross from your neck to wear, you now sport a truculent piggy-bear.” Then she tipped us a wink. “ Now you see that I am not just another pretty face, I have knowledge from all over the place!” Her lips sipped while her eyes smiled and we all shared a laugh that went a long way toward dispelling the Shadow That Came Out Of Tellar.

“Thanks, you two… I really needed that!”

Sunny patted my hoof again and Xantippe closed her eyes, clasped her hoofs with interlaced fingers and bowed her head to me. How could you not love friends like this?

“D’ye want me t’ have a word wi’ the wee Laddie?” Sunny asked. “I’m sure I could get through to him.” She winked.

I shook my head. “No. Thank you, but no. For the same reason I’m not going to Caper. It’s my Department so it’s my problem. I know I’m being an Earth Pony, but if my ancestors could take on an unfriendly and uncaring planet I should be able to manage one Tellarite, right?”

Xantippe tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Perhaps I could find a way to locate an empty module in the cargo bay…”

I chucked a napkin at her and we all enjoyed a therapeutic chuckle. We were distracted a moment later by the Quartermaster Chief, a light brown and cedar-red Earth Pony name Apple Bob, who ambled up with three servings of his Hermes-famous apple crisp.

“G’day, Ladies!” He drawled in his reedy, Horsetralian voice. “I was wundrin’ if you spare me a moment ‘r two?”

“Sure, Bob! But if you just wanted to talk you didn’t have to bring us apple crisp!”

“Sure an’ we’re not complainin’, mind!”

“For a treat such as this I would grant whole minutes!” …It wasn’t her greatest rhyme but then, Xantippe's eyes weren’t on the apple crisp either!

Bob gave her a crooked smile and set the biggest piece in front of the smitten Zebra before snagging a chair and serving the rest of us. “The tucker ain’t fer talkin’. It’s fer butterin’ up! Y’ see, Oi got a favor to ask the Boss Lady ‘ere.” He pulled his hazel eyes away from Xantippe and gave me a level look.

“Then I get all three pieces! Gimme!”

“Th’ Hell you say!” Sunny snatched up a plate to herself while Xantippe just shoved hers in my direction, never taking her eyes off Bob. “If ye were t’ eat all that I’d have t’ be puttin’ ye on water n’ vitamins for a week t’ make it up!”

“One piece?” I offered. She had a valid point. I simply didn’t need all those calories living in this low gravity. But Bob’s crisp is good!

“A quarter!”

“A third?” I countered.

Sunny chewed the inside of her lip a moment. “Done! But ye’ll need t’ do extra calisthenics on yon grav plate today!”

“Sold! What do you need, Bob?” Sunny, the old softie, cut me closer to three-fifths of a piece and piled the rest onto her plate. Xantippe’s she scooted back to her where it sat sadfully ignored.

Bob leaned in conspiratorially then hesitated. Then he lounged back in his seat, tossing us a wink before addressing the rest of the dining hall over his shoulder.

“’Ere, you lot! There’s fresh apple crisp up there! Best get some ‘fore it’s gone. Get it while it’s ‘ot!”

While the rest of the room filed to the serving counter he leaned back in.

“Oi got a bit of a sitchation Oy’m tryin’ to keep ‘ush-‘ush in Food Prep.” He whispered.

I’d cut a morsel off and had it halfway to my mouth. As tempting as it was to eat, though, I stopped. “Oh…?”

Sunny gave her own, much heavier laden forkful (I noticed, wistfully.) a sudden, dubious look. Xantippe… was somewhere else.

“Nah, nah, nah!” Bob waved a hoof at her reassuringly. “Food’s all good!” He leaned in closer. “But we may be runnin’ short faster than we planned if this keeps up!”

I perked my ears up. “If what keeps up? What’s happening?”

Bob looked around covertly before continuing.

“Oi think we got a vermin sitchation onboard. Been goin’ on a few days now. Sumpin’s been rummagin’ ‘round in food stores. Always at night. Oy come in ta git breakfast goin’ just ta find some o’ the foods been eaten on. Got me in a roight proper lather, it does! Oy run a clean kitchen an’ Oy don’t need some little pest a-muckin’ it up!”

I put my fork down, the treat forgotten. “That… doesn’t make sense! Our supplies come packed and sealed. The cargo containers are stored in vacuum prior to coming on board just to keep this sort of thing from happening. Hell, we haven’t taken any food on since Earth!”

“Roight! Oi think it came on at Centauri. Started right after we left. If Oy gotta keep tossin’ good food inta th’ recyclers we’ll be down ta mealpacks n’ synthetics in no time!” To somepony who had to live on mealpacks, let alone synthetics, the prospect was daunting. And to have to leave part of the crew to grow hydroponics somewhere would restrict the range of the ship…

“I can see where you’re coming from! So you want help finding and catching the thing without an ‘official’ investigation. I can do that. Hell, I’ll do anything to cut down on unnecessary red tape!” I was keeping my voice low since other ponies were resuming their seats nearby.

“Oy knew Oi could count on ya! We been mates a long time, ol‘ Starry an‘ me!”

I shot Sunny a worried look, knowing her propensity towards jealousy. She, apparently, was familiar with the idiom and was snacking away happily. Xantippe, who was not, gave me a stricken look.

“He means we’re friends.” I assured her. I hooked a thumb at the Chief. “He’s been on half the ships I’ve served on!”

“Too roight! Starry ‘ere taught me ‘ow ta make them ‘Rockfarmer’ cookies like they make on ‘Questris. Gotta run up a batch o’ them sometime soon… while we still ‘ave the makins’, that is.” He settled back in his chair and gave our resident Zebra a crooked grin. “No worries, eh?” The Captain’s Yoemare dropped her eyes and blushed daintily while the Mare in my head ‘Dawwed’!

I scooped my portion of apple crisp up and popped it into my mouth. It really didn’t deserve to get gobbled up like that but I wanted to get started on this before I had to go back on station.

“Right then! Let’s go to your office and you can fill me in on the particulars before I have to get back to work.”

Bob shook his head. “No need ta hurry. Nuthin’ ever comes up missin’ till morning anyway. Come back at end of watch n’ we’ll put our ‘eads together then. All roight?”

“Fair enough.” I stood up. Sunny dabbed her muzzle with a napkin and belched almost inaudibly.

“Ah should be getting’ back, meself. Thank ye, Bob, for th’ excellent treat. Now I have t’ find a way t’ burn up excess calories!”

“I’ll see you in the gym later!” I teased.

Sunny gave me a knowing look. “I’ve got a better way t’ burn ‘em away. I’ll see you later in private!” She went tippy-hoof and planted a smooch on my cheek and it was my turn to blush as she trotted out!

“Blimey! You two!” Bob shook his head before turning to Xantippe. “What about you, Missy? You leavin’ or d’ye ‘ave time fer another cuppa?”

“Fortunately there is nowhere that I absolutely have to be.” Xantippe leaned her head on one hoof and gave Bob a, frankly, captivating look. Poor buck never stood a chance…

“Roight! G’day ta ya, Starry an’ Oi’ll seeya later then!”

“I’m gone! I’m gone! I can take a hint”

Author's Note

May all the Fans everywhere forgive me but 'Mounted Python's Flying Circus' was as Equestrian a thing I could think of! ...I have to wonder what kind of Pony John Cleese would be? *Peers through Magic Prism with curiosity... and doesn't believe what he sees!* (How much funnier would The Ministry of Silly Walks be with four legs each?! Squee!)

Treknologically inclined Fans may take issue with the anachronistically high speeds Hermes is capable of. My justification for this is Magic, the thing you fall back on when Physics just Won't Do! As I recall from TOS dilithium was already a quasi-magical substance. It made high-performance Starships possible by virtue of its ability to focus the energy of the matter/antimatter reaction without being consumed in the process. (A lasing effect, perhaps?) There was an excellent Trek novel, The Final Reflection, that offered a possible reason why. It the story it was revealed that dilithium has a unique four-dimensional properties. I.E., it has an enhanced duration in Time. The comment was made during the course of the tale that cutting a dilithium crystal took two weeks of constant labor on the same point! Hmmm... Given that tidbit perhaps the energy from the reactor is put through a rectifier to produce an alternating-current effect in which the crystal is alternately exposed and then not exposed dozens, hundreds, thousands, millions (?) of times per second. During each period of exposure the process would have to begin again. There's bound to be some degradation every time it was exposed, we are dealing with antimatter after all, but the crystal would last much, much longer than it would otherwise. Now, imagine how four-dimensionally durable a magiked crystal would be! Like Dear Mr. Roddenberry back in the day I opt to use just enough science...and/or magic...to keep the story rolling along!

Long-winded rambles on Treknology aside, I was curious to know if I'm going a bit overboard with the accents? I'll freely admit that I'm having way too much fun with them! (In my mind...no Mare but a roly-poly Stallion...Apple Bob is Crocodile Dundee and Captain Caper sounds like Boris Badenov!}

...I lead a rich mind-life! :)

Chapter Fifteen- An Interlude with a Tellarite

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

INTERLUDE WITH A TELLERITE

My good spirits lasted just as long as it took me to get back to the Bridge. Sitting in my chair, poking around my board was Bors Bogan. He was wearing another one of his seemingly endless supply of what passes for professional wear on Tellar. Papaya-yellow trousers decorated in big, slate-grey blocks with an open-collared shirt exactly the color of three-day-old lemon meringue and a blazer of alternating black and brown rectangles on a pale green background. He would have made a passable clown back on Equestris if it wasn’t for the beetle-browed scowl. (Not to me, precisely, I’ve always thought clowns were creepy!)

His eyes snapped right to me the moment the lift opened. “It is easy to see how you stay so big when you take such long meal breaks, Commander.” He said, nastily.

Now ever since I’ve been spending so much time with these relatively tiny Terrestrial Ponies I’ve been very self-conscious about my weight. Even with Sunny’s policing of my diet I was eight pounds heavier than I wanted to be. (Sunny, bless her heart, assures me that I’m carrying it all in just the right places but too much is too much no matter how high on your chest you carry it!) Bogan, with the genius of malicious insight, had zeroed in on that insecurity and it became his go-to target when he was feeling obnoxious… which was over ninety-eight percent of the time. Ten years ago I would have squirmed and wanted to hide. That was before I’d punched my first Tellarite loudmouth, though. I was a lot tougher now, and experienced… in the ways of Tellarites, at least. As it was, I locked him with my eyes and began strolling to my station.

“Well since I don’t take five meal breaks a day I have to eat more, don’t I?” I said smoothly.

Caper, lounging sideways in his command chair, swiveled slowly in our direction.

“I do no normally countenance civilians on Bridge, Mr. Bogan. You are here only because you wanted to see Commander Starry-Eyes about urgent concerns in Science Department, da?” He quirked a bushy eyebrow in my direction. “Is something I should be concerned about?” He rumbled.

Before I could speak, Bogan butted in. “I have been trying to see the Commander, “He sneered the word. “ For days now and I’m tired of being put off and ignored. I will be heard and now!” He sat forward in my chair and jutted his fuzzy jaw (Adorned with some positively ridiculous little green ribbons tied into the fur, for Faust’s sake!) aggressively. …I began counting to one thousand in base six numbers.

“Ah! Then is case of miscommunication.” Caper looked thoughtful. Only the Ponies that knew him well picked up on the dangerous glint in his eye. “Mr. Bogan is not familiar yet with Starfleet protocol regarding proper venue for discussing Departmental issues. Perhaps should re-read orientation materiel sent to personal terminal on arrival maybe.” He speared Bogan with a passing glance before turning my way again. “Business is slow today. Feel free to show Mr. Bogan way to Briefing Room and give him refresher course, da? Oh, and Mr. Bogan…” Caper waved him over closer and leaned on the arm of his chair to continue in a more hushed and personal tone. “Just friendly word of advice to uninformed civilian. Commander Starry-Eyes is Starfleet Officer of excellent standing. While you work on this ship you…” He prodded the Tellarite in the chest with one finger “…you, bubula, will show proper respect like she does to you. We’re all friends here, nyet?” He waved him away. “Dismissed.”

Bogan harrumphed and stomped his way up from the Captains chair toward where I was standing near the lift. I lifted an arm and triggered the sensors of the door for him.

“The Briefing Room is on deck th-”

“I know where it is! Do I look like an Augment?” The Bridge fell silent. Jerry looked up in utter shock, Evee stiffened in her seat and shot a backwards glance out of the corner of her eye as Merry threw her stylus down with a brittle sounding clatter. “Oi! C’mere, ya sheep-humpin‘wog! Who the ‘Ell-”

I laid a hoof on her shoulder and it took a considerable portion of my Augmented strength to keep her down in her seat. She had the sense not to struggle for more than a second.

“Merry.” I gave her a look. “I’ve got this.”

Merry seethed for a moment, then, “Roight, Starry. ‘ Ave a good trip, choom. Trip an’ break yer bloody neck! Oy’ll come visit ya in ‘Ospital!”

Caper slowly twirled his chair toward the turbolift. It wasn’t easy to see for whom his hardest glare was reserved for.

“Mr. Bogan. Please to grab handle and clear lift. Must have word with Communication Officer. After…” He raised a finger in awful emphasis. “.. you apologize to Commander Starry-Eyes for callous and racist remark. This. Instant.” If his eyes were phased balefire the Tellarite would have been glowing pink ash then and there!

Bogan saw fit not to escalate things. He gripped the actuating handle of the lift and ground out. “I apologize…” He said insincerely. “For anything untrue I may have said.” He gave the control a savage twist and the doors hissed shut. The Bridge beeped and thrummed in silence for a long moment.

Merry squirmed. “Look ‘ere, Skipper…”

“Lieutenant Merry!” Caper skewered her with his eyes.

“Oy’ll apologize, but Oy’ll be damned if Oy say Oy’m sorry…”

“For your remarks to guest aboard this ship…” Caper worked his mouth thoughtfully for a moment. “…On behalf of Bridge Crew, in appreciation, you may have my dessert tonight.” He shrugged, resigned. “Will make Doctor and Yoemare happy, da? But!” He gave a bushy eyebrow to the Communication Officer. “In future, pending formal reprimand, you will exercise proper sense of decorum, da?”

“Too roight, Boss! Yer gonna git such a hug next shore leave, you are!”

Caper made an exasperated noise and rolled his eyes. I cleared my throat quietly.

“Captain. I’m sorry this had to happen on the Bridge…”

“So am I, Little Grandmother.” His expression softened and his eyes relaxed a little as he watched me keenly. “I thought you were better at handling these things. But is not like dealing with reasonable Ponies, da?”

I stiffened, all too aware at how I’d disappointed my friend.

“This ends today, Caper. I promise. With your permission?” I stepped toward the lift.

“Carry on, Commander. And good luck. While you are gone will have Maintenance come and disinfect seat and board, da?” Something in his eyes made me think that maybe I hadn’t disappointed him… yet.

Merry snickered, picking up her stylus. “Bit of a nice touch, that! Maybe we oughta dip that blighter as well… just fer the sake of general hygiene!”

Caper shook his head and ruffled his wings tiredly. “If is so much time to spare at Communications maybe Maintenance Crew could use help?”

Merry busied herself at her board. “Workin’, Skipper! Workin’ ‘ard! Workworkworkwork!” She started playing a medley on her station as the lift doors closed.

A more emotional, suboptimal pony (As non-Augments were reckoned by my ancestors in The Bad Old Days.) would have punched a wall in the seclusion of the turbolift. I had no doubt I could hole the interior paneling quite a few times with only a token amount of damage. But I was a better breed now, wasn’t I? …Yeah, right. Part of me wanted to send Bogan back to Tellar in six separate horseshoe boxes. I spent three whole seconds imagining how good that would feel before summoning the mental disciplines to focus my thoughts, redirect my anger to allow my mind to free itself to optimize the situation. I grabbed the lift handle and gave it a twist to activate it.

“Deck Three. Briefing Room.” I said. The duotronic systems would shunt the lift car by the quickest route possible, taking into account the traffic of the other cars using the system. Since I didn’t invoke a priority override my trip would take me, in this instance, to the other side of the Saucer Section before arriving at my destination. I used the time to indulge in some of the almost ritualistic tai chi-style breathing exercises my ancestors brought from Earth long, long ago. I clasped my hooves, shut my eyes, and adjusted my stance before sweeping into the controlled, graceful, almost dance-like steps…

By the time the doors opened my anger was a bright, burning spark deep within me. There it flared not unlike the antimatter in the core of the time warp drive, controlled and harnessed, ready to be used at a moment’s notice in the service of my intellect and my will. It was against my personal code, and the code of my people, not to intimidate and I really do try not to do it… too much. (I suppressed a guilty pang.) Anypony could use an iron horseshoe but a velvet hoof could yield much better results. The iron horseshoe was the mark of Khan. We of Equestris kept ours under a velvet glove and I was determined that it was with that I would deal with Bogan. However expedient my actions were years ago I made a mistake. The Universe does not care but does it forget and neither the consequences of all out acts, good or ill, come back threefold. I had come up with a solution. Peace arises through compromise and sacrifice. If the Federation could make peace, as I’d pointed out not too long ago, why shouldn’t I? At whatever price…

It was a considerable distance to the Briefing Room after the doors opened again. Without having to adjust my Equestrin pace to accommodate shorter Terrestrial legs I made it there in seconds. I was so caught up in what I was about to do that I ignored the friendly smiles and nods I encountered on the way. I hoped they would forgive me just this once…

Bogan was seated behind the terminal of the asymmetric, hexagonal table, looking like the very poster foal of impatience with legs far apart and hands on his knees. As if dominant male body language was going to intimidate me! He glared as I entered.

“You took your time! I should not be kept waiting when I have valuable work to do!” He barked.

In each Briefing Room as well as the Mess Hall there is one chair built to accommodate my physique. I didn’t drag it into place opposite him. Rather, I picked it up bodily between thumb and forefinger and carefully held it aloft until I’d found just the right place to put it… with a thump. He straightened up, closed his knees and folded his arms across his chest. (Take that, Mr. Dominant Male!) (The Mare in my head scolded me only half-heartedly.)

I seated myself and carefully steepled my fingers. “Mr. Bogan-”

“Doctor Bogan, if you please!” He snapped.

“Your Doctorate,” I continued without missing a beat. “Is appointed, not earned. I checked. You got your ‘degree’ by virtue of seniority rather than research. ‘Doctor of General Science’ is not a recognized field of study. On ethical grounds I will not accord you the title outside of purely formal occasions, which this is most surely not.”

He was going to argue the point (Big surprise!) but I cut him off by tilting my wrists and pointing all ten steepled fingers at his chest like an oversized spear head.

“Let us reason together, Bors Bogan. We’re here now in this place because a few years ago I gave you a love tap and arranged for you to take a smelly nap in a cargo module of recyclable organic waste. I’m sorry about that. Believe it or not, I truly am. My only excuse was that I was a lot less mature back then, I was in a hurry and there was a War on. The ends never justify the means, though. Give me just a few moments, please.”

For he was about to try to butt in again. At my look he subsided. An intensely interested gleam came into his close-set eyes. One paw came up to tug idly at one of those Luna-awful little green ribbons on his chin…

“Now you are working on my ship in a Department I head alongside some damn fine Ponies who happen to be my friends. I accept and understand that you do not like me. I appreciate that you quite probably hate me for what I did. It was a humiliating experience that brings me nothing but shame to this day and has given me an embarrassing, but not undeserved, reputation among the crew that I’m trying to rectify. But!” I fixed him with a calm and level look. “This does not give you license to run roughshod over any Pony on this ship. Petty vengeance and spite are not options in my Department or any ship of the Federation!” I emphasized my point by disengaging my hooves and jabbing one forefinger point down on the tabletop with an audible thump. I paused diplomatically to let him blow off some steam.

Instead, though, he laid his arms flat on the table and leaned in, scrutinizing me keenly before speaking in a surprisingly casual tone.

“What are you getting at, Commander Starry-Eyes? I’m curious to know.” He didn’t sneer the title or my name. … One compartment of my mind began to wonder just what was going on in that fuzzy head while the rest of me forged on.

“Just this, Mr. Bogan.” I took a fortifying breath before I realized I did it. “I can’t undo what I’ve done. But I can offer to put it behind us both. Not forgotten, but acknowledged. I… would rather be your friend than your enemy. I would have peace in my Department and my ship. To that end I am willing to make a formal apology to the Tellar Ambassador and to Starfleet. I want to be your friend for all our sakes so think of this as an earnest of my intentions.”

He mentally chewed that over. “… It could mean the end of your career, if I am not mistaken.” Well, I made this pile of straw. Time to lay down on it. I did my best to ignore the chill that shook me to my core and ponied on.

I nodded, acknowledging the point. “Conceivably. The whole affair was pretty much buried under the tailings back then. I imagine some up-and-coming bureaucrat trying to make a name for themselves could get me drummed out of Starfleet. Assault is assault. The charge could stick. At the very least it would be blot on my permanent record that will follow me the rest of my career. … However long that might be.” I dropped my gaze for just a moment as the implications I’d imagined, but never vocalized, sank in. When I looked up, Bogan was stroking his ribbons in thought.

I continued. “Of course they won’t likely make us turn the ship around so it will be a solid three years Terran before anything comes of it. Captain Caper will have a lot to say about what happens to me till then.” I had an uncomfortable moment at the thought of putting Caper in the middle of this. I could always claim that I misrepresented the facts to him. His hooves and his record would be clean or, at least, clean enough. I cleared my throat.

“Like I said. I’d rather be friends. If that isn’t acceptable I’m willing to offer an… alternative.” I eyed him coolly.

He rose to the bait.

“And what would that be?” He asked suspiciously.

“I’m prepared to set aside half an hour a day at the end of my watch for you to complain to your heart’s content. I’m your problem. Not my people, not this ship, not Starfleet. You want to take it out on somepony take it out on me. I’ll listen to whatever you say and I’ll swear to The Mothers Of Tellar that I’ll try to meet you halfway.” I smiled wryly. I’ll be your private whipping Pony.”

The expression was giving him trouble. “You want me to beat you, Commander? One assault does not make up for another!”

“Don’t push your luck, Bub! You want to act like a prick, act like a prick to me and nopony else. Make me the target of your verbal abuse and leave my shipmates alone. That’s the deal. What do you say?”

He regarded me speculatively and chewed the inside of his cheek.

“Make it a full hour a day. I’ll exclude Tellarite and Federation Holidays, of course. I am not unreasonable.”

‘Of course you’re not!’ I mentally grumbled.

“Fair enough.” I conceded. “You get nearly eleven hundred hours of being the nastiest bastard you want to be to your heart’s content.” ‘You must be so happy.’ I didn’t add out loud.

Yet he didn’t even smile. Was he thinking of even more?

“Who else knows of this… compromise, shall we call it?”

I shook my head. “This is between you and me and nopony else!” I pointed a finger at him, hooked a thumb to me, then made a slashing motion all with the same hoof. “I can’t see any other way to do this, can you?”

He actually sat back in his chair, gripping his lapels in classic melodramatic villain fashion as the beginnings of a smile tugged at his squat muzzle. …Oh, I was going to learn to hate that face!

“I really… what is the expression… ‘get under your skin‘, as the Earthers say?” He drawled. I wanted to wipe that smug look off his face with a brick!

Instead, I forced another wry smile. “You’re a veritable artist. Your ah, technique has improved with time. If you had been like this a few years ago…” I shrugged. “Lucky for you I’m more mature these days.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” He agreed. He suddenly leaned forward eagerly and actually rubbed his paws together in gleeful anticipation! I put on a carefully neutral expression and wondered, wistfully, if any court would really convict me if I fired him out a torpedo tube…

The Mare in my Head gave me a kick in the backside. … Well, I deserved it!

Bogan sat forward almost unbearably pleased with himself.

“What is the Equestrin method of ‘sealing the deal?’ ” He asked.

I stifled a sigh. Time to face the music! How was I going to explain this to Sunny and Caper?

“We grip forearms, so we can feel the strength behind our words.” I pushed back the sleeve of my blouse and reached over the table and offered my arm. …And waited.

Bogan regarded my arm for a few moments. Then he inclined his head up to look at me. My personal warp core flared for an instant. That miserable rock-humpin’ creep was going to insist on more conditions!

“You win, Commander.” He stated. “Congratulations and well played!” …Was that admiration on his face? I froze as the Mare in my head blinked blankly as all the breakers on her Bridge popped open!

I’ve always prided myself and my vocabulary. I flatter myself to think I can just about out-talk a Vulcan when it comes to reasoning a point. I am the product of over two hundred years of selective breeding for mental acuity…

And all I could come up with was. “Wait… what now?”

“You win!” He repeated. “I can’t outdo what you are prepared to do. Such devotion! Such dedication!” He threw his arms about enthusiastically with each statement while I resolutely kept my jaw from dropping open.

Some of my confusion must’ve seeped into my eyes. The Mare in my head was chin deep so it had to overflow somewhere!

He noticed after a few seconds and began to explain.

“It’s the Tellarite Way. Surely an Equestrin knows that nothing worthwhile is easy, Commander! If I had rolled over on my back a few years ago it would have demeaned us both. Though you did give me the victory back then, if I might say so. ‘Love tap’, indeed! I thought I was concussed for sure!” He actually chuckled.

“I’m… confused.” I admitted. “How did I give you a victory?”

“By resorting to physical violence, of course, instead of outdoing me. You were just an Ensign then, but it still gave me a considerable amount of …” He waved a hairy paw, searching for a term. “Status! Yes, status will do. Even though you didn’t stay on very long I still came out on top in the eyes of my supervisors.” He looked at me benevolently. “You helped advance my career considerably!”

My mind race to assimilate all this. “And now… since I’m a Commander, the parameters have changed. It became necessary for you to accommodate yourself to my increased ‘status’.”

“Precisely!” he beamed. “And this time you played the game like a civilized person! I challenged and you became more challenging in turn. The more demanding I became the more you accepted without surrendering… or invoking outside forces to put me in my place, as it were. Which, of course, would have made me the victor.” He declared in an offhoof manner.

“Mind you!” He continued. “I was beginning to have a rough time keeping up. After all, I wasn’t getting any work done, and that would have been no good for anyone onboard. I almost, almost, surrendered myself. Quite frankly, Madame, your style of play is almost reckless in its audacity. I would go so far as to say it is intimidating! To think that you were going to go so far as to accept three years of discomfort just to keep everything working smoothly for the good of all!” He shook his furry head. “I honestly don’t think I could have made it that long. I’m not as young as I used to be. But!” He raised a paw. “That’s not an excuse. Life’s challenges must be met no matter what the cost to one’s self… as you so ably proved! Again, well played! You have given us both much more status. You will have no further trouble out of me, Commander, now that my honor demands I conduct myself to be worthy of your standards.”

I actually hated to bring it up, but I stopped him in mid-paean.

“Look, before you go any further. …I have to admit I had no idea of ‘The Tellarite Way’, much less how it works. I did what I thought I had to do for the sake of peace. I wasn’t aware of your custom so I’m not worthy of any victory, I’m afraid.”

Bogan only laughed! “My Dear Commander! How many of your own Equestrin values do you keep to and apply on a ship full Earthers? Do they adhere to the Equestrin Way? Does it matter to you? Of course not! You treat them like Equestrins because that is how you were raised! How could I do anything less?” He splayed his paws.

So help me, I actually laughed! “Good point! I had to bring it up, though.”

“Of course you did! Your honor demanded it. You see? I was right!” He paused for a moment, a smile that I thought only Sunny could invoke quirking his face. …Which prompted me to ask.

“Wait a minute! Why were you pleasant to Sunny, anyway?”

“Oh, well, I didn’t have to work for her. There was nothing to prove, wasn’t there? And she’s such a charming girl, if you don’t mind me saying so.”

Oh! The things I could tell him about living with red-maned Alicorns! I chose to be diplomatic, though, because I just didn’t want to taint this moment.

“She is at that!” Then something else occurred to me. “But you say that your superiors already knew of my, uh, previous indiscretion? And Starfleet wasn’t concerned?”

“It never made it to them, didn’t it? No need since we saw it as a purely local matter settled to local satisfaction. After all, I hardly had reason to complain, didn‘t I?” He waggled a fuzzy finger at me. “The only danger to your career would have lain in your bringing in up after it had been ‘buried in the tailings’. Is that an Equestrin expression?” He cocked an eye at me.

“Uh, yes it is. So… it’s all settled then. Mr. Bogan I have to say that I never suspected…” I trailed off and shook my head. “Wow. I was going to say, ‘Had I but known I would have been a lot more understanding.’, but that would’ve just uh, ‘demeaned us both‘ , wouldn’t it?”

“We both would have lost face. This way we both win more, eh?” He chuckled, then he paused. “Speaking of winning… Commander, if we are to be friends then you must call me Bors.” He offered a paw.

“What? Not ‘Doctor’ Bors?” I engulfed his paw in my hoof with a grin.

“Only on formal occasions, of course!” He squealed the Tellarite version of a laugh.

“My friends call me Starry, Bors. Finally… welcome aboard!”

He added another paw to pat my hoof. “My pleasure, Mrs. Starry!” I wondered if that was some unknown Tellarite politeness as he released my hoof. “Well! If you will excuse me I must be off to change into something more practical. I have mountains of work to catch up on!” He beamed and headed for the door.

I cleared my throat quite deliberately and he stopped as if he expected it.

“You are going to apologize personally to Ensign Wind Gauge and Captain Caper, of course.” I stated, rolling an eye at him meaningfully.

He clasped his paws in front of him and gave me a half-bow. “You enrich us both, Mrs. Starry! It shall be done!” For all his bulk, he twirled lightly on his heel and was gone.

I sat for several seconds as the Mare in my head tried to make sense out of her readouts. When she gave up I lowered my head and bonked it on the tabletop once, twice, thrice, and left it there. It really is true! As a wise Pony once observed long, long ago. The Universe is stranger than we can imagine! Sometimes all a Pony can do is just quit struggling and accept it!

Author's Note

My first reaction, back in the Day, when I saw the Tellarites in TOS was 'How did a bunch like THIS ever get into space?' (I had the same reaction the first time I saw a Fehrengi. Remember, back when TNG was being promoted in the papers before it premiered, how the Fehrengi were described as 'The New Threat to the Federation'? I expected something truly badass...pardonnez moi ma Francaise...not a bunch of snaggletoothed little clowns!) (Pity they didn't think up the Borg a few seasons earlier!) I wondered how a species so intent on bickering could ever develop a workable civilization... then I got older and watched our Congress in action! (What hath the ancient Greeks wrought when they unleashed the concept of Democracy upon a hapless world?)

Thus my take on The Tellarite Way! (Big tip of the floppy straw hat to Issac Asimov of sainted memory for his Golden Age Sci-Fi story 'The Martian Way') Lest we judge them too critically, look around at all the strange cultural mores practiced by all the peoples of our own world!

Also... can you just imagine somepony the size of Starry doing all those Khan moves from 'Space Seed'? Squee!

Chapter Sixteen- The Phantom Snacker

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

THE PHANTOM SNACKER

I returned to the Bridge feeling better than I had in days. I resumed my station, politely ignoring the inquisitive looks of my friends. I hummed a little ditty about a lumberjack I’d heard on one of Sunny’s old entertainment vids as I set about checking the sensor logs to see if anything happened while I was otherwise occupied. I waited…

Finally… “Hsst! Oi! Starry!” Merry, always as subtle as a photonic torpedo, tried to get my attention in a stage whisper that most Ponies in Engineering might have missed. “’Ow’d it go then? Ya ‘ave t’ bust ‘im up much?”

I was feeling so good that I decided just to play along. After all, I’d give them the full story later on at dinner. I gave her a serene look and stage whispered back. “Oh, he kicked up a little fuss at first. But he won’t be giving anypony any trouble ever again. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.” I tipped her an exaggerated wink.

“Oi!” She chuckled. “A wink’s as good as a nod ta a bloind bat, eh? Eh? Wish Oy coulda bin there! … Oi! Look sharp!”

For Caper, who didn’t have any choice but to overhear, had spun his chair around in my direction and casually wandered over to my station.

“Commander.” He rumbled.

“Captain.” I smiled sweetly.

He turned his back to the Bridge Flight Recorder and pitched his voice to an even lower rumble. “Situation in Science Department all settled then, da?”

“Oh yes!” I said chirpily. “We won’t be having any trouble out of Bors Bogan ever again.” I leaned in conspiratorially. “Ever!” I waggled my eyebrows meaningfully.

A look of alarm flashed across his face. Wow! I really did have a reputation for violence! “What…?” He leaned in closer and lowered his voice even more. “What do you mean, Starry-pushka?” His eyes narrowed. “… Do I need to call Sickbay for Mr. Bogan? …Or Morgue?”

“Oh a Doctor won’t do him any good right now.” I said breezily. “… Except to verify his condition, I guess.” I made a show of cracking my knuckles.

Caper leaned heavily on my console as if he needed the support. His voice stayed very low, even if it was tinged with shock. “Starry! You… ?”

I had a quiet laugh, not able to keep it up any more!

“I never laid a finger on him, Caper! Don’t worry!”

Merry had given up any pretence of stealth.

“Oi! Made it look loik an accident, then? That’s the ticket, eh? Good thinkin’!”

Poor Caper was looking so alarmed that I just couldn’t help laughing harder! After a bit I wiped my eyes.

“Look! It’s really all right now! I’m not entirely sure why… I’m still sorting it out myself… but I can say for certain that the next time anypony meets Mr. Bogan they’re going to be in for a surprise! I’ll fill you in after the watch. It’s kinda an involved story involving hitherto unknown quirks of Tellarite psychology. Just trust me on this, ok?” I hugged myself gleefully, just basking in the moment.

Caper appealed silently to the Heavens for a moment, then. “Every confidence I have in your capabilities, Commander!” He patted my shoulder. Then he added quietly, just to me. “Will want full story later! And…” He poked the same shoulder with one finger. “Don’t do that to me again! Am too old for this hoopla!” He strode back to his chair. “Let’s get back to work, Ponies. Situation is in good hooves. Never had any doubt. … Zip lips, Communications Officer!”

“Jus’ clearin’ ma throat, Skipper! ‘ Ad a bit of a frog in it! No worries!”

“Turn head and clear throat for Good Doctor!” Caper threw himself back into his seat and busied himself with the padds Xantippe had left him.

Luna! I love this ship!

* * *

After my watch, and after a quick trip down to Engineering for some things I wanted to pick up, I swung round the Galley to see what I could do for Bob. Not surprisingly, Xantippe was there as well.

She gave me one of her curious, closed-eyes bows with clasped hooves. “My watch has ended, too, so I thought I would come to assist you. I thought that perhaps, together, we could solve the mystery of the Phantom Snacker.”

I rolled my eyes. “So now it has a title? Well, after today the little pesk is gonna be out of business!” I unslung one of the new-model tricorders from around my neck and patted it warmly, putting it on the table of Bob’s office along with the sheets of special materials I’d synthesized in Engineering.

Xantippe peered at them for a moment, then her face lit up with recognition. “Then this will be a snap. You intend to set a trap!”

“Right in one. Give that Filly a bonus ration!” The Zebra folded her hands across her tummy and took a modest bow as I continued. “I ran off a set of good, old-fashioned glue traps to put around in likely areas in Food Storage. That’s plan ‘A’. This little honey…” I patted the tricorder. “Will be on hoof in case the little critter avoids the traps. It’ll be set to record and analyze whatever comes lurking around. Should be easy-peasy.”

Xantippe looked thoughtful. “Let it be as you hope! But Bob has told me some interesting dope. The creature may have it in its mind to make itself very hard to find.”

“Oh?” I quirked an eyebrow at her. “What’s the word?”

She began ticking points off on her fingers many of which, I noticed, bore rings mounting various semiprecious stones on silver bands. “ Let us review what we already know to give ourselves a smarter way to go. It seems the creature is selective in what it eats. Lately it has confined itself to sweets. It has opened just one mealpack but found it not to its taste since it seems to have discarded it in haste. A ration of synthetics was also tried but after one bite it was set aside. Vegetables it can eat, though it feasts far more upon sweet treats. Desserts seem to be its favorite prey, cookies and cakes are plundered no matter how safely tucked away.”

“Wait a minute! The thing is getting into covered food? How was Bob covering it? In what, I mean.”

“At first he used plastic wrap, the thief to fox. Then he began to use a plastic box. But, poor he, cannot foil the creatures villainy. He noticed as he tried to guard his snacks, the creature seems to leave no tracks!”

I, pardon the pun, digested this for a moment. Sorting through Xantippe’s rhyme was becoming a distraction!

“Well….” I mused. “The predilection for sugar would seem to indicate an insect of some sort. But even a mosquito lands to eat! On the other hoof… any bug big enough to wrestle a storage box open would have been seen long ago.” I frowned. “And where would it be living?” I thumped the wall behind me with a hoof. “The walls here aren’t that thick and there’s precious little room in them for even ants much less some sort of body-building beetle with a taste for cupcakes.” I rubbed my chin in unconscious imitation of a certain Tellarite…

Xantippe came up with an idea. She was certainly getting into solving this!

“Wait a tick! Perhaps it is telekinetic!”

“A Magical bug, then. Or some sort of creature, anyway. It’s bad enough that Ponies insist on relying so much on Magic. Now Nature has to get into the act!”

“You needn’t sound so sick.” Xantippe said gently. “Nature by itself is full of Magic. It was alive and well and on the scene long before the first Pony.”

“Okay, okay! It’s just the Equestrin in me coming out.” I decided to hit her with a pop culture curve ball from Sunny’s archaic collection. “I yam what I yam an’ that’s all what I yam!”

But Xantippe never missed a beat. “So you are strong to the ‘finich’ ‘cause you eat your spinach?” She chortled to herself at my expression of defeat. Ever since Bogan I was on a roll, too…

“The trouble…” I sighed. “With you Terrestrial types is that you spend waaay too much time soaking up antiquarian trivia!”

“Now do not grumble because you took the fall. It was you that made the reference as I recall.”

“Yeah, well, I had to sit through it all, didn‘t I? Sunny has a passion for old cartoons and sketch comedy. And I’ve to see every… last… bit of it It’s so…” I searched for a word and settled on, “Preposterous! For instance, any Pony with forearms like that would be in a hospital and not in a wet-Navy.”

“It hurts me to hear you grouse at such treatment at the hooves of your spouse.” The giggling Zebra lied. “But, come, I’m positive you would admit that even you laughed just a little bit.” She gave me a confidential nudge and I made a mental note to keep her away from Sunny’s ‘Mounted Python’ collection.

“Okay.” I admitted. “It has a certain slapstick appeal… and his speech was pretty funny, especially in the older ones when he was always talking under his breath.” I grinned then shook myself, getting back to the task at hand. “Ahem! Where were we?”

Xantippe gave me another nudge. “It seems to me that you were showing you are not as pragmatic as you paint yourself to be.”

I felt the need to divert the subject from myself. To that end I mustered all my command of rhetoric and stuck my tongue out at the exotic, giggling Zebra.

“So…” I picked up the tricorder and folded the top back, exposing the readouts and activating the device. “You and Bob, eh? How long has that been going on?”

She hid her blush behind an upraised hoof and averted her eyes.

“Hah! Not so funny when it happens to you, isn’t it? Aw, come on…!” I gave her a playful push that rocked her gently. “I wasn’t asking for lurid details. I was only making conversation! …Waitaminnet! Are there lurid details already? Wow!”

For Xantippe was looking smugly coy. She gave me a serene smile.

“As a matter of fact Bob and I plan to indulge in certain pleasurable arts…” She paused and batted her eyes demurely.

I stopped, more than a little shocked and gaped at her, wide-eyed. I never figured Xantippe to be such a fast operator… or Bob of being the type to take advantage of a Filly’s infatuation!

“… he plans to take me bowling and I will teach him darts!” She giggled behind both her hooves as my ears drooped and I facehoofed!

“You sooo set me up for that, didn’t you?”

She gave me teasing punch on my arm. “It is as Sunny said it would be! She told me there are times when you are so easy!”

I chuckled sheepishly, then frowned. “Hay! What did she mean by ‘easy’?”

Xantippe held her hooves up in mock surrender. “Oh I would not dare to pick a fight with she who tamed the fearsome Tellarite!”

I was thunderstruck! “What? How did you find out about that already? It was only a few hours ago!”

“Surely one as experienced as you knows how it goes. On a ship this size by now everypony knows!” The tease-ball was firmly back in my court again. …Sometimes I wonder why I even try!

I should have realized that the small-town nature of a starship in deep space would mean that news would travel faster than subspace radio. It’s just that I didn’t realize that our ship had gotten to that point already. I seemed that our Merry Little Crew had knit together faster than I’d anticipated. The realization gave me a warm feeling. I was so caught up in it that I didn’t notice Bob rolling up.

“G’day, Ladies! Just come to see what th’ Brain Trust come up with. Tippy fill ya in all roight?” Bob, clad in a spotless t-shirt and immaculate apron, gave me a nod and Xantippe a secret, crooked smile that made her just glow! I sighed to myself. Is that what I look like when Sunny is around? Well… I couldn’t help it either!

“Hey, Bob! ' Tippy’s' been a veritable fount of information.” The smitten Zebra rolled an eye at me and snuck just a moment away from Bob long enough to stick an orange tongue out at me as the ball thumped back to her side of the field! “I had hoped to set some traps and be done with it.” I indicated the glue traps on the table. “But this new information is giving me second thoughts. There’s an off chance we may be dealing with some sort of magical lifeform here. You say that some of the food had been gnawed on?”

Bob, who had been looking attentive all along, began to frown at the mention of a magical pest. “Yeah, a mealpack, them synthetics, an apple an’ a carrot or two. Nothin’ left’uv them pieces of cake or the cookies but some crumbs.” He shrugged. “The sugar an’ frosting an’ such just ‘ad little scoop marks loik.” He made a digging motion with two fingers.

I raised my eyebrows. “Frosting?”

“Too roight! Oy ‘ad a hunch an’ checked on the frostin’ Oy ‘ad made up for tomorraws cake. Sure enough, a patch as big as me fist is gone outa it! ‘Ad to trash the lot! Oy gotta tell ya, Starry, there’s gonna be some mighty dull eatin’, this keeps up!”

I shook my head. “It’s almost as if we have a bunch of invisible foals running loose on this ship!”

Bob grunted an affirmative, then added. “Oice cream ain’t been touched, though. Nor whipped cream, neither. Don’t seem ta go for no frozen stuff.”

I mused. “So it can get into a locked store room but no into a freezer? …This just keeps getting weirder.”

“It could be true that it does not want to.” Xantippe offered.

We both looked at her and she explained. “The creature may not be so bold in the presence of the cold.”

“Hmmm… I wish you had kept some of that gnawed-on stuff. We could have made a cast of the bites.” I shrugged. “It might have given us a clue about what we’re dealing with. In the meantime, though, …how cool can you make it in here at night?”

His face lit up. “Oy gotcha! Oy reckon Oy can get ‘er set down inta the sixties or so. Reckon that’d be cold enough?”

I pursed my lips, thinking. “I can bypass the environmental controls without too much problem. For one night, anyway. I’d like to get us down to refrigerator temperatures if I can. How much of a problem would that be for your night staff?”

Bob made a dismissive gesture. “They know what’s up. They can wear coats, no worries there!”

I nodded firmly. “Then we’ll give it a shot. Shouldn’t take but a few minutes…” I looked away as there came a crash of falling pans from the galley. Bob sprinted to the doorway and we followed. A couple of metal bowls were still rocking and settling into place in front of the shelves. The only other Pony present came in from the far end where the serving counter was. Both groups stared at each other.

“Get that, willya?” Bob said to the startled Pony and we went back to his office.
“Can’t figger that out. We normally get a smooth roide down ‘ere…” Then he stopped short and pointed at his desk. “Wot th’ Bloody ‘Ell!”

Every glue trap on the desk was unsealed and stuck to each other face-to-face!

Xantippe was the first to find her voice. “I do not wish to invoke a portent… but I do not think that was an accident!”

“All right!” I said. “Let’s not jump to any conclusions, Ponies! There has to be a rational explanation for this!”

“Oy’d be glad ta ‘ear it, Starry!” Bob poked at the conglomerated pile of ex-traps.

Xantippe began to quietly whistle the first four notes to another one of Sunny’s favorite old shows, an old saw named ‘The Twilight Zone’.

“That isn’t helping, you know!” I snapped. Out came that tongue again!

The situation called for a re-group. I tinkered with the environmental controls and arranged for the temperature to take a dip in food prep that evening. It couldn’t hurt to try anyway. I did a set of cursory scans before I left the tricorder behind, more from curiosity than anything else. Not unexpectedly, we were the only living things in the area. I did get a transient reading though, just for an instant as the tricorder came on. A faint trace of Kirlian energy on the biologic sensors that seemed to disappear the instant the tricorder locked onto it. Suspicious, but inconclusive. It might have been a fluctuation in the systems of the tricorder itself. After all, these new models were coming along with us for field testing!

I tried to pass all this along to Sunny when I returned to our cabin… but I had to give her the blow-by-blow description of the Bogan Episode first! She was somewhat less than sympathetic.

“Aye! Sure and if Ponies didna start a-tricklin’ a wee bit after lunch. They all wanted t’ ken wha’ shape Mr. Bogan was in? ‘Why should he no be in th’ same shape he was before?’ I asked. ‘Because!’ Says they. ‘He finally went too far wi’ th’ Commander. Insulted her on th’ very Bridge n’ all! She up n’ told him t’ meet her in th’ Briefin’ Room to settle the issue!’

‘Did she now?’ I asked.

‘The very truth!’ They say. ‘He left n’ she followed. When she came back t’ Bridge she was purrin like kitten n’ told th’ Captain Bogan would be no problem t’ anypony again! An she was smilin’ as she said it!’”

I gave her a skeptical look. “Those were their exact words, eh?”

Sunny flapped a hoof and the same side wingtip at me in unison.

“Sure n’ I were paraphrasin’ f’ th’ sake o’ brevity! But, seriously, I’ve heard half a dozen different version o’ how ye put th’ Laddie in Intensive Care. I ken there was bad blood atween th’ two o’ ye but that’s in th’ past is it no? I remember ye have a bit o’ temper t’ ye but, t’ listen t’ ye shipmates, I’ve a-married Th’ Headless Horse, herself!”

I stopped in the middle of massaging my forehead. “I thought The Headless Horse was a he.”

“I never got close enough t’ take a peek. Now dinna cloud issue wi’ facts, Lass! Wha’ happened wi’ Mr. Bogan?”

The realization that I would be telling this story way to many times in the future suddenly settled in. I sighed, sat down in my chair, pulled Sunny into my lap and told her the Tale of the Truculent Tellarite to its turnabout conclusion. Then I threw in the Case of the Phantom Snacker for good measure. Her opinion of the situation in the Galley was more cynical than even mine!

“Seems t’ me that ye’re th’ victim o’ a practical joker. Th’ fallin’ bowl, classic misdirection t’ keep yer attention away from telekinetic jiggery-pokery wi’ yon glue traps!” She declared.

“But Bob isn’t a Unicorn, remember? Besides, he’d never mess with his Mess like that!”

Sunny looked deflated for just a moment, then rebounded. “Ah, then ‘tis obviously th’ work o’ another Unicorn who works there. Remote telekinesis is tricky, but it can be done. Dinna need much finesse to wad up some bits o’ paper.!” Her horn glowed in demonstration and the blanket of our bed gathered itself into a lumpy ball is a faint nimbus of opalescent light.

I coughed lightly into my fist. “I point out that the glue traps weren’t ‘wadded up’. They were peeled and stuck together like a sandwich! In the space of three or four seconds. Pretty good time for any slight-of-hoof artist, let alone a telekinetic one!”

She still seemed doubtful. “Well, still seems more likely than th’ idea o’ some great, magical cockroach!”

“Then why didn’t I find so much as a DNA trace on the scans?” I asked, frustrated. “All I came up with a blip on the Kirlian sensor that didn’t last long enough to get a fix on.” I scowled. I guess the universe was taking me down a peg after that unlooked-for success with Bors…

Sunny clucked sympathetically. “So instead o’ relaxin’ a wee bit afore dinner ye’d rather obsess about yon mystery?

I wiped the scowl off my face and managed to look contrite. “Not particularly. It’s been a stressful enough sort of day without adding to it. I could do with a bit of relaxation!”

Sunny hopped out of my lap and tugged my arm. “Then come along t’ me office fer some o’ Doctor Solar Cross’s Sovereign Cure fer What Ails Ye!” A tendril of pearly telekinesis wafted to our bed and the covers were pushed unceremoniously off onto the floor.

I got up and shook my head again. “Is that your answer to everything?“ Her only answer was to telekinetically remove her blouse. It dropped to the floor while another magical limb undid her bra. Sunny gave me an absolutely thrilling look from over her shoulder. Her wings spread just enough to hide the telekinetic removal of her undies. Still largely concealed by her alabaster wings she sat on the end of the bed and just looked so positively alluring! Suddenly, bellicose Tellarites and phantom food thieves seemed a lot less compelling than they were moments before! “Ok! Ok! I’m coming!“ I bent over and pulled my boots off.

“Not yet yer not…“ Opalescent radiance tugged my own blouse up and over my head before focusing on my slacks, shucking them down. “… But give me a wee bit o’ time n’ we’ll see what happens!“ Sunny smiled her best bedroom smile while her magic took care of the last of my clothing. Alicorns! … Bless ‘em!

Author's Note

It seems the least I could do after The Great Italics Fiasco to post the next chapter straightaway! I only wish that my Word proggy was more compatible with this format. I was genuinely scared to insert the italics this time around!

Does anyone else remember the B&W Popeye cartoons... or was it a pointless exercise in trivia? ;)

The Hermes food setup is midway between Archers Enterprise and Kirks. In the Prism Universe they haven't had much luck (Yet!) with replicating food at the quantum level. The mealpacks depicted here are the equivalent of a military K-ration. Nutritious but not very exciting in an Epicurean sort of way!

I hope those last two paragraphs don't cost me the Teen rating. There's just a little more salaciousness in the next chapter but this is about as graphic as it will get. ...So... anyone want to speculate regarding the identity of The Phantom Snacker?

Chapter Seventeen- Tyllae

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

TYLLAE

It didn’t take all that long, Sunny is a true artiste… she’d be the first to admit it! Or maybe I was more stressed out than I realized. In any event, some little time later I was trying to catch my breath while Sunny was setting me up for another, somewhat less urgent repeat. I sprawled flat on my back, wriggling under her ministrations and had opened my eyes lazily with every intent of watching her work. My gaze wandered around the clothing-littered room until it was caught by an unfamiliar sight on the bookshelf that ran across the head of our bed. There, crouched next a collection of Sunny’s old-fashioned bound books, sat a tiny figure clad in yellow-brown fur with a rose-pink mane and tail. Pink and yellow butterfly wings were folded to its side and two antennae tipped with glowing pink balls nodded from the top of its little head. It was startling because of its familiarity and its strangeness. With a shock I recognized the little figurine from the Soul of Cimarron! What made me gasp a non-Sunny induced gasp was not the fact that it was no longer a shiny white, rather, it was the fact that it was smiling benignly and waving one little fore hoof!

“Hi-hiii!” It caroled in a high-pitched warble. “Don’t stop, Tyllae will wait! Tyllae does not mind!” She tucked her foreleg back into place and smiled benignly.

I gave out a whoop and covered myself with my hooves while clapping my legs shut, I was only peripherally aware of Sunny’s head being in the way as I scrambled of to the side, trying to sit up!

“Owowoww! What’re ye at, ye great nit?” Sunny demanded, wrenching her head free and feeling her jaw. “Ah didna even use ma teeth! Struth! . S’prised ma eyes didna pop out o’ me head! What in bloody blue blazes is wi’ ye?”

I just pointed to my pillow, too stunned to talk! For the little mite had fled under it while I was flailing around. I might have been scared, but not scared enough to lose track of the thing!

Sunny, worked at making her eyes focus, and looked just in time to see part of a little muzzle, a shock of pink mane, and a round, alarmed, all-black eye peer out!

“Don’t swat! Don’t swat!” A reedy voice clamored. “Tyllae did not do anything! Tyllae just said ‘Hi-hiii’! Honest! Pleasepleaseplease do not hurt Tyllae!” The entire little head emerged slowly and looked at us warily. “Pretty, pretty, pretty please?” She essayed a tentative smile.

Sunny sat back and carefully felt her neck with both hooves as if to see if anything was out of place. “Starry, ma Dear, I‘ll fergive ye fer nearly breakin‘ me bloody neck if ye’d take a wee look by yer pillow n’ tell me what ye see.”

By then I was perched on the edge of the bed, my hooves concealing what I could and my hips closed resolutely and pointing away from the intruder. I took a calming breath, in control of myself once again.

“It’s the little figure from the Cimarron. Or at least it looks very much like it, only very much alive and in our bed!” I stopped to suppress the urge to start yelling, Augmented self-control or not! I would have felt bad if I had done so for the little tyke had emerged from under the pillow and crouched, cringing, on the bed.

“Aye, I thought as much.” Sunny nodded cautiously as if she were afraid her head would fall off. “Just wondered if I were seein’ summat… other’n stars!” She shot me an accusing look before settling her gaze on the little being again. “Well, Missy, ye’ve got a mort o’ explain’ t’ do, d’ ye not?”

“This one is named Tyllae, not ‘Missy‘.” The little one pointed out, sitting on her hindquarters and pointing to herself with a tiny fore hoof. “Tyllae was not trying to be mean and scare anypony. Honest!” That same fore hoof made an ‘x’ in front of her chest. “Tyllae just wanted to talk to Sunny and Starry. Tyllae is sorry to scare Starry.” Her fear seemingly forgotten, she giggled like tiny, tinkling silver bells. “Starry is so big Tyllae did not think a little thing like Tyllae would be scary!”

“For the record.” I stated. “I wasn’t scared, I was just startled, there’s a difference!”

“Oh, aye! Th’ difference is in th’ involuntary muscle movements, no doubt!” Sunny worked her mouth and tugged at one ear. “Damn it, Lass! Ye nearly pinched off th’ end o’ me tongue n’ boxed me ears wi’ yer ‘startle’! Startle, forsooth! If ye were really scared I’d be th’ Headless Horse ‘bout now!” She made a show of working the stiffness out of her neck, glaring at me all the while.

“Oh! No, no, no!” Tyllae piped. “Tyllae has seen the Headless Horse before and Sunny is too pretty to be that scurry!” She giggled. “ ‘Sides, the Headless Horse is a stallion! Silly Sunny!”

“Aye well Ah stand corrected on that point then, doncha know?”

“All right!” I snapped, trying to get some control of the situation. “Just what the Hell are you and why are you in our cabin?”

The little mite drooped her ears and cowered. One teeny hoof pointed to Sunny. “Sunny knows! Sunny said so! Tyllae is here ‘cause Starry brought Tyllae here. Tyllae did not break rules! Tyllae was not able to talk then!”

“Squirt, you’ve got five seconds to start making sense or I’m going…”

“Oh, fiddle ye are!” Sunny reached over and punched my shoulder. “Stop throwin’ yer weight around! D’ ye’ really ken ye need t’ intimidate sich a wee, little tyke as this? And take yer hooves down, fer Luna’s sake! Hard t’ look stern coverin’ yer boobies like a gigglin’ schoolfilly!” She turned her attention to the diminutive figure. “Pay her no mind, Lassie!” She mock-whispered behind a hoof. “She’s just a mickle bit over-modest is all!”

I dropped my hooves with an effort, my muzzle blushing hard enough for me to feel it! “Sunny!” I hissed. “You’re not helping! There. Is. An. Intruder. In. Our. Room!” I pointed an accusing finger at the Peeping… Tomisina!

“Pifflesticks!” Sunny snorted. “Use yer noggin, Lass! If she meant us any harm she’dve done so long ago. She’s been here since we brought her into our room days ago. Och fer the celebrated Science Officer! This wee one is th’ one who’s been raidin’ yon Kitchen all this time, ye great straw-head!”

“Galley!” I corrected automatically. “On a ship it’s called a galley.”

Sunny stuck an orange tongue out at me! “Whatever ‘tis called! Quit pickin’ on me grammar and this little Fairy!”

“A ‘Fairy’ is a mythological creature about as real as Celes-..” I bit my tongue.

“Go ahead n’ say it!” Sunny glared. “Ye have no problem a-blasphemin’ Her any other time!”

“Look-”

A tiny figure, wings blurring like a hummingbird, flitted between us. “No no no! Starry and Sunny should not fight because of Tyllae!” The little mite turned toward me. “It is true! Tyllae is a Faery! (Somehow, the difference in the spelling became apparent when she said it!) Really, really, really! …And Tyllae did take food from food place. But Tyllae was sooo hungry an’ there was sooo much yummy, yummy, yummy food there! Tyllae did not think Big Ponies would miss what Tyllae took. But Tyllae heard Bob say that Big Ponies were going to run out because of what Tyllae ate up. Tyllae has starved too many Winters to make other Ponies starve, too! Tyllae is very very very sorry an’ Tyllae wants to help make right!” She nodded so eagerly that she nearly did a somersault! “…An’ Tyllae does not mind that Starry does not believe in Faeries. Starry can call Tyllae whatever Starry wants, Tyllae does not care.” She shrugged comically. “Tyllae does not know what an Awg-Mint is either, but Tyllae still likes Starry. Starry saved Tyllae! Tyllae will never forget, no, no, no!” She shook her head violently back and forth, nearly going into a spin. She darted over to Sunny suddenly, making her blink in surprise. Tyllae patted Sunny’s nose companionably. “Tyllae likes Sunny, too! Yes, yes, yes! …Even if Sunny talks funny! Tyllae thinks the Zeeba talks even funnier, if that makes Sunny feel better! But Tyllae could listen to both all day so is all goody-good!”

She zipped back to hover right in front of my muzzle in an eye blink! “But Starry should not say bad things about Celestia! Celestia is very, very, very nice! But Faeries did not see Celestia much. Faeries were special friends of Luna since Faeries come out at night. Luna used to come an’ play with Faeries… ‘til Nightmare Moon came!” Tyllae shuddered, shutting her eyes on some terrible memory for just a moment. “Faeries all run an’ hide, screaming! All except poor, poor, poor Tyllae.” The mercurial mite sniffled and did a whole-body droop. “Tyllae was turned to cold, cold, cold stone and forgotten.” She covered her eyes and whimpered, nearly falling out of the air in her grief.

It’s really hard to be hard when faced with such a pitiable sight. At the moment I couldn’t believe her story… but her pain was real enough! Without a thought, I reached out and cupped her in my palm, and snuggled her to my breast. “Hey, hey!” I soothed. “It’s all right now. You’re with us and we won’t let anything happen to you! Hush now!”

For the poor little thing wailed and clutched at me, burying her face and crying. “What did Tyllae do? Tyllae does not know! Oh, it was so bad, bad, BAD! Tyllae could not move, could not cry, could not speak! Nightmare Moon did such bad things! Tyllae lay onna ground ‘til dirt covered poor, little Tyllae up. Tyllae could not see any more! Long, long, long time an’ Tyllae was sooo cold! Then Big Ponies came an dug Tyllae outa dirt. Big Ponies did something that made Tyllae feel sick an alla sudden Tyllae was in new place! Then Green Peoples came an killed everypony an everything got so very, very, very cold an dark again!” She broke off and just cried and cried. I could feel the hot tears soaking me. All I could think to do was to stroke the little head with the forefinger of my free hoof while she wailed and trembled. My heart both broke and burned for the poor Fairy and the horrible thing that had been done to her. Sunny edged over and draped a wing around me, hugging me with the same-side arm. She added her free hoof to mine, cupping the weeping ‘Faery’ in a snug, warm embrace against me. Sunny laid her head on my shoulder. When I turned to look her eyes were bright with tears. So were mine, I suddenly realized.

“Sunny…” I gulped the lump in my throat away. “I’ve been wrong about some very fundamental things, haven’t I? Uh, I’ve truly been a Very Silly Pony.”

Sunny smiled, the tears beginning to leak from her eyes. “Aye, but yer my Silly Pony, aren’t ye?” She buried her face in my neck, adding to the general level of moisture I was collecting. “Ah’ll always love ye, but there are times Ah love ye even more!” Her bright eyes reappeared when she tucked her head underneath my chin. “Little lessons teach the best, do they no?”

“What lesson did she have to learn… like this?” I cuddled the weeping form closer as she cried away years, centuries, maybe more, of fear and despair.

Sunny stroked the little head. “Tha’ there is Love in th’ end no matter how bad things get, maybe. That’s th’ real trick though, innit?” She mused. “To know just when th’ lessons are a-bein’ taught.” She wriggled her way in to kiss the hoof that cradled the Fairy. “But it plucks me raw t’ think there’d be any justification fer a-doin’ evil t’ such a harmless, wee creature! …An’ dinnae ye dare say ‘Th’ Universe Doesna care’! Good n’ Evil are no forces o’ Nature, they’re conscious acts done by somepony or something! Och! I’m no snappin’ at ye, Love!” She kissed my hand again. “I’m just… me emotions are just all over th’ place right now. I dinna hae th’ Augment or Vulcan trick o’ sortin’ me glands from me mind, ye ken!”

“Yeah.” I gave her a nuzzle. “I’ve noticed.” She fetched me a smirk and gave the un-Fairyed breast a tweak. I winced more for effect than from any real discomfort dished out by the Old Fraud. “But you’re still my ‘suboptimal’ Alicorn!”

She buried her head in my shoulder and hugged me. When she released me she straightened up and sniffed. “Right, then!” She wiped her eyes and stood, stretching. “It’s me very own Medical opinion tha’ wee little ‘un’ll cry herself t’ sleep, poor thing. But she’ll be hungry when she wakes. I’ll drop by th’ Galley or whatever n’ see about sweet-talkin’ yon Bob out o’ some leftovers seein’ tha’ ye just solved th’ problem o’ Phantom Snacker! Dinna fash yerself’!” She raised an admonishing hoof. “I’ll no go into details. But…” She paused. “Have ye no given thought t’ just how we’re gwin’ t’ spring this on everypony? We canna just turn her loose on the Ship!”

“We’ll take her to Caper in the morning. He’ll have to make the call.” I sighed. “After I tell him how I brought a stowaway onboard.”

“More like a refugee, I’d say! Well… ‘tis th’ proper way t’ do it, I ken.” She added, doubtfully. She popped into the washroom to freshen up and put her mane back into order before slipping back into her uniform, sans underwear. She caught the look I gave her and she made an impatient gesture. “Oh, I’ll just be gone fer a few ticks! Dinna be such a prude!” She administered a quick kiss and was gone.

Tyllae by then had subsided into quiet whimpering punctuated by the occasional hiccough, exhausted and on the verge of sleep. I prayed that, for a change, her dreams would be pleasant now that she was safe and warm. …I wondered how I would have coped with what seemed to be a never-ending cold… unsleep? Such a tiny, fragile-looking thing to have endured it all!

I keep our room at a compromise between Equestris and Terrestrial standard, as if Sunny’s predilection for near-to-full nudity needed an excuse! Still, my shoulders were feeling just a bit chilly after a little while so I tugged the blanket around me. The motion nearly brought the traumatized tyke to consciousness. She stirred and began to sob softly…

It’s true, I never had a doll growing up. Or a pet. We didn’t do such things on Equestris. But Tyllae was neither. Consciously or not, maybe the little Fey had been deliberately playing on my Maternal instincts. The Mare in my head frowned when that thought came across her board and deleted it with a sniff. Yeah, we’re pragmatic. Some Ponies even go so far to call us hard. We had a different cultural experience than the Ponies on benign Terra. But we’re still Ponies and no Equestrin likes to hear a foal cry in the night. I remember Mommy and, later, Daddy singing to me when I was afraid…

I struggled to recall the words. I remembered the tone and the love rather than the lyrics. A very old song, most of it anyway, came to me…

I have a passable singing voice, as long as I keep it low. I tucked the blanket ‘round us and cleared my throat quietly. I rocked slowly as I stumbled over the half-remembered words from so long ago.

“When I was just a little Filly,

And the Sun was going dowwwn.

The darkness and the shadows,

Would always make me frowwwn…”

By the time I made it to ‘crack up at the creepy’, the little tyke was fast asleep. I think she was actually smiling, though I didn’t dare disturb her to verify that. I crooned the song a couple more times, reliving dear memories and weeping just a little for the hardness of the worlds…

Author's Note

Human folklore on every continent has a tradition of the existence of an entire species of mystic, mischievous (And sometimes dangerous! There's a reason Fairy Tales are called 'Grimm'!) people called, in Western Tradition, 'Fairys' or, in a more archaic form, 'Faeries'. I've provided fair Equestria its own version. Tyllae will expound on her people later so I'll just say that Faeries predate Ponies, though they lay no special claim on the World in particular.

Faeries operate with a different system of values than more materially-minded folk. There is a line from The Hobbit that best sums it up where Thorin observes of Hobbits (As Ponies can of Faeries!) that. "If more of us valued your way, food and cheer above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world..." Compared to us the Fey are mercurial, flighty, and naive. But this is a dangerous over-generalization. Like Ponies, Faeries are no pushovers! 'Up the airy mountain and down the rushy glen/ We dare not go a-hunting for fear of Little Men.'

I'd best say no more for fear of 'spoilering' myself. Don't let Tyllae's speech fool you! She's wise in her way, and as deep as any Vulcan Philosopher. Although born of the same world as Ponies she's as Alien as anything that hails from the stars!

Happy Mother's Day, all!

Chapter Nineteen- A Breakfast and a Briefing

CHAPTER NINETEEN

A BREAKFAST AND A BRIEFING

I’d coached Tyllae about how she should behave but the little so-and-so was having doubts as we made our way to the Galley. I had her stashed deep in my mane behind one ear. Ever since I met Sunny I’ve been wearing it loose and down to my shoulders instead of the functional ponytail I’d used before. Tyllae thought it was great fun! I could feel her parting the strands to peek out as we passed crewponies in the halls. I put up with it as long as it kept her occupied but, as we neared the Galley she whispered right in my ear. I supposed she thought it was a whisper, anyway. I winced a little as we strolled because it tickled!

“Is Starry sure Tyllae should let everypony see Tyllae? Doesn’t seem right! Nope, nope, nope! Against Faery rules an Tyllae has always been a good Faery!”

“Will you keep it down!” I hissed. “You have your mouth right in my ear canal! Look, you’re going to have to trust me on this!” I broke off and gave a preoccupied smile to a passing Ensign before continuing. “The Captain needs to know about you running around the ship. I’ve never kept anything from him before and I’m not starting now!”

“Then why is Tyllae hiding now? Shouldn’t Tyllae be outside where everypony can see? Tyllae is confused.” In my mind’s eye I could imagine the frown on that tiny face.

“Because,” I whispered patiently. “I don’t want to have to put up with a mob of curious Ponies just now. Be quiet for just a little more, we’re here!” I held the door for Sunny and we threaded our way across the Crew’s Mess toward the Wardroom.

“Not right!” Tyllae insisted stubbornly. “Tyllae does not like lying and Tyllae does not think Starry should lie either!”

We were working our way across the room just then so I couldn’t say anything. Instead, I picked up my pace a little. Sunny gave me a curious look, then glanced into my mane. Just a step away from the door I heard the little Fey call out. “Hi-hiii!”

Melody, my senior Science Department crewpony, looked around trying to see who was talking to her. I ducked through the door ahead of Sunny with a little hop, turning the Faery side of my head away and trying to look nonchalant!

The Wardroom was where the Senior Officers took their meals. I didn’t use it all the time since I genuinely enjoyed eating with the Crew and I was just egalitarian enough to feel a little snobby when I did. From what I understand the custom is a holdover from the Navies on old Earth. Well, Equestris never had a Navy and as long as it wasn’t mandatory I would take my meals where I darn well pleased! This morning was special, though.

The custom extended to Senior Officers inviting juniors to dine with them on occasion. Caper would have some Ensign or Middy come in a few times a week. I suppose Starfleet saw it as a privilege but from what I’d observed it was a rather nerve-wracking experience for the hapless guest, sitting nervously trying to remember every nuance of polite dining etiquette they ever learned in their short lives and trying desperately to contribute to the small talk. Poor things!

The place was as full as I’ve ever seen it. Besides the three Ponies I’d invited there was Mister Sekkack sitting quietly on Caper’s immediate left. The table was a convex rectangle, sporting a centerpiece in the form of a metal sculpture of the Hermes itself in a gold-toned aluminum alloy as well and the ever-present computer terminal Starfleet installs everywhere. The crowd thoughtfully left the far end of the table open for myself. I’d be crowding elbows otherwise. All the friendly, familiar faces looked up as I came in. Except for Little Rock, who never ate breakfast and Jerry, who was covering for one of his Engineers. Bob had just wheeled in a cart heavy with bowls of oatmeal and a big platter of apple muffins. Coffee and tea decanters had already been set out along with a couple of pitchers of apple juice. Everypony had a cup or glass of something in front of them already. We nodded and exchanged greetings as we made our way to the end of the table.

“Good morning, Starry-pushka, Good Doctor!” Caper pitched his voice above the general din. “We have full house today! Is somepony’s birthday or something?” Hoo-buck!

I pulled a chair out for Sunny and steeled myself for whatever was going to happen. Tyllae, intimidated by all the company, maybe, held her tongue. Thank Celestia for little, winged favors!

I ignored the oatmeal and muffin Stimbolt passed down to me and decided to just get on with it.

“No birthday, Captain. This is my doing. I’ve just come across….” I hesitated, choosing my words carefully. “… A situation that I wanted you all to be made aware of.”

The talk dried up and all the faces turned my way is various degrees of curiosity. Under the table, Sunny took hold of one of my hooves and squeezed.

Caper sipped his coffee and sat back in his chair. “You have all our attention, Starry! What is up?”

I drew a deep breath and was fully intending to just tell it like it was when I paused, startled. Reflexively, I reached toward my mane. Tyllae was gone!

I shot Sunny a panicked look. She shot one right back. In hindsight we must have looked pretty funny. Just then though…

“What?” Sunny silently mouthed.

“She’s gone!” I whispered frantically. I gulped and turned toward Caper, trying to figure out how I was going to explain… It was only then did I realize that nopony was looking at me anymore The room had gone silent and I followed the stunned looks back to their source.

There by my elbow our resident Fey was sitting just behind the muffin I’d been served. She had just taken a huge bite and was chewing away blissfully with her cheeks bulging. She waved a foreleg at the assembly and smiled benignly with her little eyes! The Mare in my mind lowered her head and started bonking it on her console…

“ ‘Ere! Lookit that!” Merry pointed excitedly.

“Bli-my!” Bob dropped his empty tray.

“You…gotta…be…buckin‘…kidding me!” Dazzle stared in open disbelief.

Evee and Guiding Star exchanged looks and thought it politic not to say anything and contented themselves just to stare.

Xantippe said something in some language I’d never heard before, but she actually sounded delighted!

Stimbolt, sitting just around the corner to my right and was the very last Pony to notice something was amiss. He was taking a drink of juice when he noticed everypony was staring. He turned to look… and choked on his drink! He kicked his chair away from Tyllae in surprise, who gave him a curious look before returning to her meal, and bent over coughing!

My anatomy hid Tyllae from Sunny until she craned her neck to look. Then, “Well bugger! Yon didn’ go right, dinnit?”

Sekkack leaned forward silently and surveyed the scene. Not surprisingly, his face gave no clue as to what he thought. …Though one dark eyebrow did go up about half an inch.

Caper slowly and deliberately set his coffee down then laid his hooves flat on the table. He didn’t gape or stare, he just… glowered! When he spoke, a moment later, his voice hushed everypony again.

“Commander. You will be good enough to explain, da?”

The last time I’d felt like this was when, as a little Filly, I’d dropped a particularly nice looking (And fragile!) optical quartz crystal that came from the plot of ground behind our house. Daddy had been growing it for years and had finally harvested it a week or so before. Although I was…. well, fairly certain I wasn’t going to get a spanking this time, I still felt about two inches tall! I managed not to hang my head, though.

“I, uh … seem to have brought a stowaway onboard.” I cleared my throat. “I just found out about it last night.”

Caper’s eyes bored into mine. “And last night was not good time to tell Captain or anypony else about intruder… why?”

I kept myself from gulping with a real effort. “It was late and it took a while before I, ah, had her secured.”

Sunny jumped in before he could speak again. “Yon 'intruder', as ye so call her, was in hysterics last night, yer Honor, an’ about as dangerous as a terrified foal…”

Caper did a one-hoofed mime of zipping something shut at her. It did the trick, but I could feel her just seething next to me! I laid a hoof on her knee…

Tyllae had been following the exchange intently and chose just that moment to zip into the air in front of me with all her limbs splayed as if to protect me from Caper’s ire.

“Wait, wait, wait! Don’t be mad at Starry an Sunny! Is all Tyllae’s fault! Tyllae is sorry Tyllae took the food! Tyllae did not know Big Ponies would starve! Be mad at Tyllae!” I could see the plucky little Fey was trembling.

Caper looked like something just bopped him on the nose! He reared back and quirked a thick eyebrow.

“What food? What is going on? Also… you can talk!” His brows drew back together in a frown. “… Somepony had better make with answers very quickly!” He looked at me, then Tyllae, then the rest of the room with awful expectation.

Bob blanched, wiped his hooves on his apron, then spoke up. “It’s loik this, Cap’n. A few days ago Oy noticed there was food comin’ up missing. Jus’ little bits here an’ there… Nuthin’ much, really! N’ Oy thought Oy’d ask ol’ Starry ‘ere ta kinda take a look ‘round th’ Galley ‘cause Oy couldn’ figger out where it was goin’! Oy thought we ‘ad a rat or sumpin’…”

“We both did a search, though our findings left us in the lurch.” Xantippe, in an valiant effort to share in the blame, leaped in. Caper looked at her as if she’d sprouted snakes from her mane!

“I volunteered my services. On my own time, after watch.” I put in. Caper swiveled his head back to me. “It didn’t seem important enough at the time to make it part of ships business.”

“Tyllae had just finally got done with being made to stone after Starry brought Tyllae here where is nice an warm!” The little Fey ventured a few inches closer to Caper and was waving her forelegs around in excitement. He was giving her the same sort of look we Equestrins give Terrestrial comedy shows. “Tyllae was soo happy to be able to move again! But Tyllae was soo hungry, too!”

“Ya see…” Caper snapped back to Bob again. “Oy was a-getting’ a little upset since Oy was ‘avin ta throw out a barrow-load of food Oy thought was contaminated boy some sorta pest or sumpin’.”

“Had this been allowed to continue we’d soon be on a dull menu!” Xantippe chimed in from another direction.

Caper, tired of bouncing from face to face, spread his wings for silence. Sekkack brushed a Primary out of his eye and quietly leaned to one side.

How a Pegasus can thunder so quietly is still a mystery to me. Must be some aspect of their ability to control weather…

“Quiet! Everypony please to Shut Up.” He fixed us all with a Significant Look one at a time finishing up with Tyllae, who dropped to the table and promptly scooted back to hide under my upper torso anatomy.

Caper grunted softly and reached for the coffee decanter and poured himself another cup. He furled his wings, took a sip, and then rubbed his eyes with one hoof before speaking again. “In future when we look back on moment will seem funny.” He declared in a reasonable voice. Then, “Is clear to me that Commander Starry-Eyes had situation well in hoof. Perhaps not waking up Captain in middle of night was good idea, da? Better to wait until Captain has first cup of coffee in this case! I trust Starry’s judgment. This much I know, if was danger to ship she would have been first to act. When in Deep Space, bulk of regulations I prefer to regard as guidelines rather than set-in-stone rules. A Good Officer, and Starry-pushka is Good Officer, knows when and how to interpret. I overreacted. So send me to Gulag!” He quirked a tight little grin for just an instant and I would kissed him if we were alone!

“So…” He considered the little mite thoughtfully. “I will read all your reports later to catch up. Right now, please to come closer, leetle pooka! You have name, da?”

The little Fey fluttered up a foot or so in front of me, uncertain. “This one,” She touched her breast with one teeny hoof. “Is called Tyllae. Hi-hiii, everypony!” She essayed a feeble wave at the silent assemblage.

Caper nodded solemnly. “Good Morning, little Tyllae. I am Captain Cloud Caper of Federation Starship Hermes. You are on my Ship now and I need to know how you came to be on Soul of Cimarron. You understand, da?”

Tyllae listened attentively, then shook her little head. “Tyllae does not understand. Wassa ‘Star-ship’? Other Big Ponies took poor Tyllae to Big Inside Place when poor Tyllae was all stuck as a pretty little stachoo. Tyllae is confused! Isn’t this,...“ She waved a hoof all around her. “ All parta same place? Tyllae is sorry that Tyllae is not smarter about the way Big Ponies do things. Tyllae will try to learn!”

I thought about some of what the little tyke had said earlier and cleared my throat quietly. “Caper, I think Tyllae believes that Hermes and Cimarron are both parts of the same big building. I don’t think she comprehends the idea of a ship.”

Caper considered that for a moment and was just about to speak when Sunny spoke up.

“I’m thinkin’ it fair t’ point out that wee, little Tyllae’s suffered a huge trauma in th’ course of her past. For her, remembrin’ th’ past is re-livin’ it. For th’ sake o’ not upsettin’ th’ wee Lassie more thin we have to, I suggest that ye approach yer questionin’ wi’ a wee bit o’ tact, if ye ken what I mean.” She gave Caper a reproachful look.

Caper grunted softly and nodded to her. “Noted, Doctor. Yet in all fairness even you must understand I need to know.” He admonished, then turned his attention back to Tyllae. “Now, leetle Tyllae, I am not ogre…”

“Oh, no!” Tyllae agreed, shaking her head vigorously and making her antennae whip. “Tyllae has seen Ogres before an Cappy Caper is much, much, much nicer! Is okey-dokes, Sunny! Tyllae was a scardey-chicken last night but Tyllae will try an be brave now!” She drew herself up in mid-air resolutely. “Tyllae is just a simple Faery but Tyllae unnerstands… a little. Cappy Caper is like Chief Faery, right? Tyllae will try an do good!”

The Mare in my head stabbed the controls on her board and wiped the grin off my face before it got started. ‘Cappy Caper’!

The Captain narrowed one eye in a squint and raised the other eyebrow at the title, but carried on without comment. “Da. Now, leetle Tyllae, please to tell just how did you come to be little statue in hold of cargo ship? Did you turn self into stone?”

“No-o-o!” The little Fey quavered then collected herself with an obvious effort. “…Wassa long, long, long time ago, Tyllae thinks. More years than Tyllae can count!” She gulped. “One night there was no pretty dawn. Alla Faeries wondered whahoppen. Then, instead of nice Princess Luna, Nightmare Moon came to Faeries an demanded alla Faeries obey! Nightmare Moon wanna make Night last Forever! No more pretty, pretty, pretty, warm Sun ever again! Nope, nope, nope! Tyllae an alla Faeries there tried to talk to Luna inside, but Nightmare Moon got so very, very, very mad! Raged with very, very, very bad Dark Magic! Tyllae saw nice Faeries killed, all burned up inna little crisps…” Her voice sank to a quavering whisper as her eyes wandered off to look at something far, far away. I reached out to hold her but the little Fey, knowing that a friendly touch would set her to crying again, resolutely flitted out of reach. The poor, little thing was trying so hard to be good and help!

“Some Faeries just changed in the Dark Magic! Got all twisted an mean. Beautiful but scary! Tyllae was so, so, soo scared! When changed the new not-Faeries cheered the bad, bad, bad Nightmare Moon!” The pitiful little Fey seemed to literally dim and drift down to the table top where she crouched. “When the Dark Magic came for poor Tyllae, Tyllae tried to fly far, far, far away! But Nightmare Moon said…Nightmare Moon said…” She wasn’t crying, yet the tears over brimmed her eyes. She was beyond mere fear, beyond injustice, and quite beyond the familiar Wardroom just then.

“Nightmare Moon said that if Tyllae would not serve then Tyllae would never fly again ever, ever, ever! Just like that, poor, poor, poor Tyllae was turned to stone and fell onna ground. Thump, thump, thump!” She turned her gaze to Caper. “Cappy Caper is old an wise. Wiser than a little Faery. Can Cappy Caper tell Tyllae what Tyllae did… what Faeries did… to make Nightmare Moon so mad?” She hung her head. Somehow she just didn’t collapse. I was so proud of her, and so sad.

“Leave off wi’ yer Inquisition, Cap’n!” Sunny growled. Caper waved her off with a face set in stone.

“She needs to talk, Doctor. To ask. Leetle one is made of sterner stuff than you give her credit for, da?” He leaned toward the huddled form sitting on the table. “Is good question, little one. But I am only Ship’s Captain. Only person that can give you answer is gone long ago. I. Am. Sorry.” He said quietly, then. “What happened after, leetle pooka? Can tell us, or do you wish to… wait?”

Somehow, the Little Fey lifted her head again to regard the Captain sadly for long moments. She sniffled, then… “Cappy Caper does not lie. Poor Tyllae. If Tyllae only knew then Tyllae could make it up an everthing would be Good again…” The little Fey shook herself slowly, her tiny tears flinging away.

“Aw, give ‘er a break, Skipper!” Merry protested.

“Eat oatmeal, Merry.” The Captain said quietly. He gave the Faery an unreadable look. “You, Tyllae, would bear responsibility for catastrophe yourself? For sake of all others? Is tall order for little Faery, nyet?”

“But if Tyllae can’t find answer, if Tyllae cannot make it good, alla Faeries dead for nothing! Luna will never have chance to be Good again! Tyllae has to try! Oh, Tyllae feels so very, very, very sad!” I really thought she was going to lose it again. This time when I picked her up she didn’t try to get away. But neither did she collapse into hysterics, brave little thing! She spared me a grateful glance as I cupped her in my hand and leaned on my thumb as I stroked her.

“You see, Doctor. Stern stuff, indeed! Leetle pooka would atone for sins of the world. Could you say same? Could any of us?”

My Darling held her peace, looking like she was tasting something very sour. I tore my gaze from her when Tyllae patted my thumb.

“Tell Sunny not to be mad, Starry! Cappy Caper is not mean. Cappy Caper does not like acting mean! Why can’t any Big Ponies see? What Tyllae says is very, very, very important to Cappy Caper. Tyllae unnerstands, really Tyllae does! Cappy Caper is Chief an is responsible for whole Herm-ees tribe. Cappy Caper loves all the Ponies in Herm-ees an wants to keep safe! So Tyllae must tell alla Cappy Caper needs to hear. Tyllae does not mind! Tyllae promised to help an be good! Tyllae tries, but Tyllae does not feel as strong as Cappy Caper thinks Tyllae is.” She rubbed her eyes dry on my thumb and drew a deep breath before continuing.

“Worse of all was that poor Tyllae was awake alla time as a stone-Faery. Tyllae tried to cry but stone does not cry, does not even get to sleep!” She sniffled again, then dashed her eyes with a hoof. “Days an days an days went by. Many full Moons. Poor Tyllae lay in sun all summer but never got warm! Tyllae watched leaves fall, but dirt covered poor Tyllae before snow did like Tyllae was drowning sooo slowly inna Earth. …Tyllae does not know how many seasons went by poor, forgotten Tyllae. Tyllae lay there so, so, sooo sad with nopony to talk with, nopony to play with. Only memories over an over an over again and the cold that… never… went… away!” She mewled for just a few seconds. “Tyllae thought Tyllae would go mad! …Maybe Tyllae did. Tyllae would remember that, wouldn’t Tyllae?” She appealed to me with a look.

“Sure, kiddo, you’d remember!” I said softly and gave her a little squeeze.

Tyllae nodded once. “Starry is a fibber, but a nice, nice, nice fibber.” She gave me a weak smile before turning back to Caper.

“Tyllae thought Tyllae was going mad because Tyllae began to feel like Tyllae could almost move again, just a little. Then Tyllae was even more scared! Faeries know that even Magic gets old an tired! Faery spells need to be made again and again over time, why should Dark Magic be different? What if spell went kaflooie an poor Tyllae was buried deep, deep, deep? Poor Tyllae!”

“Then one night Ponies dug lucky Tyllae up! Big Ponies, but strange-looking ones! These Ponies were different than Ponies an Pegasuses an Unicorns Tyllae knew before. When did that happen, Starry? When did alla Ponies lose front legs an get hands?” The little mite looked up at me, her sadness and fear forgotten for a little bit. The Wardroom went silent but for the distant thrumming of the plasma conduits that ran from the Warp Core.

“We always had them, Squirt.” I said gently.

“Nuh-uh! Tyllae remembers Ponies had four legs like Faeries! Tyllae is sure! … Or maybe Tyllae is a little loco inna coco…”

“Only in old pony-tales, Tyllae.”

“Aye!” Sunny snorted. “Like ‘pony-tales’ o’ Celestia n’ Luna! Open yer eyes n’ ears, Ponies! Yon sits an eyewitness t’ yer ‘legends’ n’ ‘folklore’!”

“Tyllae can’t say anything that doesn’t get somepony mad today!” The Fey wailed. “Don’t be mad! Nopony has to believe Tyllae if nopony wants to! When did Ponies get so silly?” Tyllae pranced up and down in frustration in my palm. “Let Tyllae tell rest of first story before arguing abouta nex one!” She whirled back to the Captain and hurried to continue.

“Big Ponies dug Tyllae outa ground an put Tyllae with real stachoos an blocks of stone. Tyllae was soo glad just to see the stars an Moon again! Big Ponies were all inna big, big, big hurry. Tyllae thinks they were scared that Nightmare Moon would find them. Tyllae thinks that Big Ponies knocked Luna an Celestia’s old house down ‘cause it was gone when Tyllae got dug up. Nightmare Moon would be really, really, really mad then! Tyllae was happy to be outa ground but Tyllae did not want to be there when Nightmare Moon came back! No, no, no!”

“Then one Big Pony said something to his hoof an something funny happened. Tyllae felt all sick an dizzy even when all stoneied! Tyllae thinks Big Ponies were not really good at Magic! When Tyllae felt better Tyllae was in Cimarron-place! One Big Pony, Tyllae thinks it was Cimarron-Cappy, took Tyllae an kept safe in Cappy room onna table like this one, only smaller.” She pointed a hoof by way of explanation. “Tyllae did not care! Tyllae was someplace warmer again! Tyllae could tell Dark Magic was getting all weak cause Tyllae could begin to feel an hear again! Tyllae was sooo excited!”

With the change of the memories locale came a change in the little Fey’s mood, thank Celestia!

“Bad Cappy kept Tyllae on toppa desk alla time! Tyllae watched as Bad Cappy sat in front of funny window-thing an did things with hoofs.” She pointed at the terminal at our end of the table with a tiny hoof. “Every time Bad Cappy sat at window Bad Cappy always had yellow brick-thingy in it. Tyllae figured it was very, very, very important cause Bad Cappy hid in secret place when it wasn’t in window-thing. Tyllae was right, wasn’t Tyllae? Yellow thingy was important!”

I nodded. “You’re right, Squirt, it was very important! All the, ah, ‘bad things’ he and his crew did were recorded on it. He didn’t want just anypony to find it! Is that where we found you? In the ‘secret place’?”

“Yep, yep, yep!” She nodded vigorously enough to set her antennae whipping around! “Bad Cappy would hide Tyllae an brick-thingy there to keep safe from…” She knitted her little brows, remembering hard. “The ‘Damfedderayshun Po-leece’!” She announced proudly!

“But one day alla Ponies got all excited an scared! Got a message from Green People! Tyllae saw on window-thing! Big Ponies with green fur an black, black, black manes! Green People all mad at Ponies. Ponies in Control-place played message on Bad Cappy’s window-thing. Bad Cappy was really, really, really scared! Bad Cappy grabbed Tyllae an brick-thingy an ran to Control-place to hide. Then wassa a big, big, big boom! Whole Cimarron-place shook an everthing started floating around. Everypony was shouting an Tyllae was getting scared again. Bad Cappy put Tyllae an brick-thingy away in cabin and poor, scared Tyllae listened as Green People came in. Tyllae listened to Ponies an Green People fight. Green People killed Ponies. Tyllae thinks Ponies killed some of Green People, too! Green People got very, very, very mad before fighting was done!” Tyllae shuddered and shut her black eyes for a little bit and paused before going on again.

“Tyllae heard Green People yelling an beating on things. All sortsa noise! Green People stayed for a long, long, long time an got madder an madder an madder. Tyllae thinks Green People were trying to find brick-thingy but Tyllae kept safe! Tyllae had a little bit of Magic, just a little, but Tyllae was able to keep Green People from looking where Tyllae was!”

“I hate to break it to you, Squirt, but I think they didn’t find you because they didn’t have any way to detect Magic. Only Ponies use Magic.”

But Tyllae was Earth-Pony stubborn! She shook her little head! “Nuh-uh! Tyllae used a spell to keep Green People from looking at place where Tyllae hid! Same spell Tyllae used to keep Starry an Sunny from paying attention to Tyllae when Tyllae sat on little table inna bedroom!”

I opened my mouth then shut it again when I realized suddenly just how quickly we forgot about the little statue once it was in our room! I treated the little Fey to a narrow look.

“Well! You’re just full of surprises, aren't you?”

The little mite, recovered at least for the moment from the emotions of her memories, flitted in front of my eyes and gave me a dazzling smile by way of an answer. I would have commented something, but Caper spoke up.

“Rest is evident. Unable to find what they wanted for whatever reason, Cimarron was looted, vented to space, and abandoned for more than five years.” He rumbled.

“Tyllae heard a big whoosh then Tyllae couldn't hear anything! Then it got all cold, cold, cold again! Worse cold than Tyllae ever think of! How could Cimarron-place get colder than Winter? Was like being under the dirt again! Poor Tyllae was all alone in cold, cold, cold dark! Tyllae was beginning to think Tyllae must have been a very, very, very bad little Faery cause Tyllae was always getting stuck inna cold!”

“Then boarding party found you and brought you aboard, da? This part of story we already know.”

“Yes, yes, yes! Tyllae was sooo happy when Ponies came to Cimarron-place! Well… after Tyllae found out Ponies were nice, that is!” She drooped a little and shot a hangdog glance at Dazzle and added. “Mostly nice!” As Dazzle glared back the little mite got positively defensive. “Well… Dazzle Pony called poor, little Tyllae names!”

Stimbolt leaned over to the disgruntled Unicorn and gave her a nudge. “Told you that you should have stopped pissing it off!”

“How the Hell was I supposed to know the damn thing was alive?” Dazzle growled back. “She could’ve just gave me the middle finger…” Her eyes darted to the little Fey who was waving one of her most decidedly non-digitized hooves at her. “Or stuck out her tongue or something! She could’ve killed me messing with my suit like that!”

Tyllae flitted cautiously just out of reach in front of Dazzle. “Tyllae was not trying to hurt! Honest!” Out came that hoof to sketch an ‘x’ over her breast again! “Tyllae just used a little hex enough to piss Dazzle off ‘cause Dazzle made Tyllae mad!”

“Watch yer language, Tyllae-ma-Dear! And yer temper!” Sunny shook a finger at the naughty Fey like she was an unruly niece at a Family Picnic.

“Oops!” Tyllae covered her muzzle with her hooves. “Sorry, Sunny! Tyllae will behave! Tyllae is sorry to Dazzle, too! Really, really, really! Does Dazzle think Tyllae an Dazzle can be friends?” She asked shyly.

Dazzle crossed her arms and considered the little Fey with a wary eye.

“Well… never let it be said that my Pa raised a Filly to hold a grudge! …But no more rough stuff, ok?” She leveled a finger at the hovering tyke.

Tyllae zipped up and hugged the finger! “Yay! Tyllae promises not to be mean to Dazzle ever again! Tyllae will be a good, good, good friend!”

“Ok! Ok! Lay off, will you? Sheesh!” Dazzle, apparently, was one of those Ponies who were embarrassed by public displays of emotion. “Here! Have a muffin on me!” She slid her muffin to the affectionate Faery, a sure-fire distraction for the four-legged Bottomless Pit!

“All for Tyllae?” She goggled at the goody wide-eyed then dragged her attention back to Dazzle. “Aww! Then what will Dazzle eat? Tyllae has taken enough of everypony’s food already…” She shot a guilty glance at Bob.

“Kid,” Dazzle said. “Food’s the last thing on my mind right now. All I really want is a good, stiff belt! …Uh, not while on duty, Sir!” She added in Caper’s direction.

“Sentiment is appreciated, Chief, by all of us here!” Caper nodded. Then. “Which leaves one item of unfinished business. Leetle Pooka, what do we do with you, eh?”

Tyllae, never one to look a gift muffin in the crumbs, had pulled her new acquisition back over by me. Oblivious to everything else, she tugged on my sleeve to get my attention.

“Here, Starry! Tyllae has already starting eating Starry’s muffin so Tyllae gives this one. Now Starry can have a whole muffin!” When the Captain spoke she hurriedly flitted back into the air halfway to where he sat. I stiffened, having agonized over this moment for a while now. I already had my mouth open when Sunny spoke up.

“As for yon, sure n’ th’ wee little ‘un can stay wi’ Starry n’ me. She’s nae trouble n’ she likes bein’ there. Durin’ th’ day I’ll keep her safe n’ sound in Sickbay. Ye won’t hear a peep out o’ her, yer Honor!”

“To give Sunny a break I could keep her in the Science Department. My Ponies could keep an eye on her until I collect her at the end of watch. It’ll be no problem!” I put in.

“Or she could accompany me.” Xantippe said. “I would be delighted with her company. My duties are comparatively light so the burden would be quite slight!”

“Tell ya what, Boss!” Bob stood with his hands on his hips and grinned his crooked, disarming grin. “Since th’ little Sheila already knows ‘er way ‘round the Galley already she can come down there! The food sitchation’s all apples now we know what’s goin’ on. Now that we ain’t throwin’ stuff out we’ll be awright! We pitch out scraps that’d make more n’ enough ta keep ‘er fed roight proper! ‘Sides, my lot’d get a kick outa her bein’ round! We’ll foind sumpin’ fer th’ little choom ta do. Whaddya say?” He flashed his brilliant teeth like a used ground-car salesman!

Caper followed each speaker silently, his lips pursed and slightly twisted, letting everypony have their say. But I knew Caper and I could tell that he’d already made up his mind… and the Captain’s Word Is Law onboard! I’d really hate to buck him on this…

“All generous offers.” He said evenly. “Is clear that Leetle Pooka has charmed one and all! Please to remember that we have only word of tiny being as proof of existence of species that may never had existed in first place.” He fixed Tyllae with a penetrating look. “Tyllae may, in fact, be Alien (Visions of Tyllae in the Brig bouncing off four bare walls for years crossed my mind!) with Alien agenda. Space is deep! Things in it are very strange sometimes. Similar things have happened in past, da?” He shot a hard look at me. “Da, Science Officer?

Internally, I writhed. There was just a possibility that Caper was right. Ever since the Enterprise mission five decades earlier Ponykind has run into everything from Romulans to enigmatic artifacts to evidence of unimaginable Alien civilizations that leave us all in the dust. No, it’s not all rainbows and cupcakes Out There… but we’re not Romulans or Klingons. Ponies offer Friendship and Cooperation and Understanding. It’s what makes us better, damnit! Tyllae is about as dangerous as a stale donut… and she trusted me!

But in the end… I had to nod, conceding the possibility.

“Oh, Starry!” Sunny’s voice was sad… and pitying. I felt like a real jerk. But I was a Starfleet Officer and Caper was my Captain and there was the Ship and everypony on it to consider.

I raised a hoof to keep her from adding anything else, then spoke.

“I admit there is a chance Tyllae isn’t what she… portrays herself to be.” Some of the Hardest Words I Ever Said. “If such is the case, then she represents an unknown Intelligence with no proven history of hostility to the Federation. It isn’t Federation policy to toss strangers in the Brig just because we don’t know them. However subsequent developments play out, what we seem to have here is a genuine First Contact. Whether it is with an actual Alien species or a previously Extinct one makes no matter. Personally, I believe Tyllae. Though I concede that my judgment is not backed up by any concrete evidence. I just take Ponies… and Faeries… on a Pony-by-Pony basis. Everypony deserves a chance.”

“Well… and logically… said, Commander.”

The whole table turned as one to regard the heretofore silent Vulcan. Sekkack folded his paws on the table before him and looked at the Captain.

“I regret if I speaking out of place. I am not part of the Command Crew of this ship. However, I am compelled to point out that Commander Starry-Eyes has made a cogent point. The being, Tyllae, from all accounts, has not displayed any hostile or belligerent behavior aside from acts of pure self-preservation that stopped well short of doing physical damage. Furthermore, her ethical behavior, though admittedly bizarre, indicates a thought process that passes for logical, rational behavior in the context of her unknown culture. Without more detailed information in order to be more precise regarding her I can only conclude that there is a high probability that she indeed poses no threat.” He stated placidly, then added. “Since I have no duties directly related to running the ship any infringement upon my time is less than critical. Therefore I wish to offer my services toward keeping Tyllae company.”

“You tell ‘im, Smiley! …Ow!” Xantippe had apparently kicked Merry under the table! …I wondered if the Vulcan had the barest inkling of what could be in store for him. The very idea of Tyllae chatting up the Stoic Vulcan made the Mare in my head reach for an aspirin!

Caper nodded cordially to Sekkack who inclined his head in acknowledgement. Then he turned his head to me again, his expression quizzical.

“Who here mentioned the Brig, Commander?” He wondered, looking at me searchingly.

“Whether it’s the Brig or a Specimen Cage doesn’t make a difference. Captain. I respectfully submit that neither is a proper option under the circumstances.” I took a breath and refused to let go of his eyes. “I wish to assume full responsibility for Tyllae. If I’m wrong… but I don’t believe I am for an Andorian minute… I want it to be my fault and nopony else’s.”

Caper grunted thoughtfully. “Are finished, Commander?”

“Yessir! I am.” I dropped my gaze only for a moment in embarrassment when Sunny kissed my cheek.

Caper stayed silent for a little while, taking all his officers and crew in before speaking. “Have said… before now… that Starry-Eyes is good officer.” He inclined his head slightly and regarded me out of the top of his eyes. I felt a chill race down my spine. Well… here it comes!

“Recent events show that I am right in these regards, da?” The Mare in my head sagged in relief! “For what is worth I, too, believe Leetle Pooka. But!” He raised a hoof. “Am not Federation Council! These things must be proven to satisfaction of all. Doctor, believe you can provide such evidence, da?”

“Sure n’ it’ll be me great, good pleasure yer Honor!” Sunny, well, beamed!

Caper grunted and nodded, then turned back to me. “Safety of Ship and all Ponies aboard is of top priority, but…” He shrugged his wings. “This is Starfleet ship on voyage of exploration. Everypony here knew there would be risks before coming aboard. Leetle Pooka is risk I think we all can afford to take… on my responsibility, Starry-pushka! Captain bears all blame all time!” His gaze softened. “… Though I will mention your initiative in personal log, hokay?”

“Hokay!” I agreed.

Caper nodded. “Hokay. Commander Starry-Eyes was faced with difficult position, nyet?” He addressed the table. “She made hard decision for excellent reasons… as pointed out by good Meester Sekkack.” The Vulcan inclined his head to the crowd then took a delicate bite out of one of the synthetic meat bars on his plate. “Is type of decision that often comes back to haunt even best of Officers. Who would think that extra bit of gold braid on sleeve could be so heavy, eh, Starry-Pushka? This time… this time, risk is reasonable. Other times Will Not Be. But lives of fellow crewponies are always responsibility. Be prepared!” He admonished me with a heavy finger and I nodded my acceptance.

Caper nodded one final time. “Now, as regards Leetle Pooka…” He gave the breathless Fey a hairy eyebrow. Tyllae cringed in mid-air but stayed resolute.

“Since is my belief that Tyllae is telling truth then I have no choice but to consider Leetle Pooka resident native of Earth and therefore Citizen of Federation, da? But she is not Starfleet member! She is Civilian! Therefore is not beyond reasonable expectations that she may stay in lodgings so generously offered by Commander Starry-Eyes and Doctor Solar Cross. She may also have access to all of ship except for Command or Control areas. Until further notice,” He looked at Dazzle for her to pass the word to Little Rock. “Security will be posted outside these places until am sure Tyllae knows where she can and should not go, da? Tyllae, as long as keeps promise to be good, will be Guest onboard like our Vulcan and Tellarite friends. Is reasonable, nyet? Am nothing if not reasonable Pegasus, but know this, Leetle Pooka…” He gestured Tyllae closer and leaned in. “I am Captain of Hermes. As Good Doctor will tell you, I outrank Celestia, Luna, and Federation President on my Bridge. Even cutesy Leetle Pooka civilians must obey what I say and not Starry or Doctor Sunny will be able to help. Leetle Pooka will be eating muffins in Brig! Is clear to you, bubula?”

Tyllae blinked and nodded. She raised a hoof for permission to speak. Caper nodded graciously. …I wanted to alternately hug and kick the older Pegasus!

“Does that mean,” She quavered, uncertain. “That Tyllae can stay an be part of Her-mees Tribe?”

“You are as free as any other Civilian on board, da.”

“Wheeeee!” The little mite launched herself straight at Caper and tried to wrap her forelegs around his neck in a hug… which couldn't happen, of course, so she contented herself with nuzzling his neck. A second later she was orbiting his head in a display of aerobatic dance moves! “Thanks, thanks, thanks, Cappy Caper! Tyllae will be good an listen really, really, really good to Starry an Sunny! Tyllae wants to help! Tyllae can do all sortsa stuff! Tyllae can clean, carry messages, an fix things inna jiffy! Tyllae is sooo very, very, very happy!”

Caper rolled his eyes and offered the ceiling an imploring look that usually was prompted by Merry.

“Oi! One crazy Pony on ship was enough. Now is two! Next time Captain gets such good idea feel free to shoot, Starry-pushka!”

“You know what they say about no good deed going unpunished, Caper!” It was time to rescue him, though. “Tyllae!”

She zipped back to me in less than an eye blink! “Starry, Starry, Starry! Tyllae gets to stay! Nice Cappy Caper said so!”

“I know, Sweetie, I was there!” I offered her a palm to sit on and she did, executing a loop-the-loop four-point landing that would make any of the Wonderbolts proud! “But there is something you must learn. A Starship Captain is A Very Important Pony and must be treated with respect! You mustn’t carry on like that with him, ok?”

“Oopsie!” Tyllae covered her muzzle with both hooves then whirled to face Caper. She waved! “Sorry, sorry, sorry, Cappy Caper!” She warbled. “Tyllae will not do again! Tyllae wants to be good member of Her-mees Tribe!”

“Don’t you worry, Tilly! The Skipper ain’t ‘alf the Old Poop ‘e lets on ta be!” Merry snatched her hoof back with a yelp when Caper whacked it with his spoon!

“ ‘Tribe’ is right word!” Caper grunted as he polished his spoon with a napkin. “Younger generation of Officers need more discipline! Maybe should bring back flogging to keep unruly Cossack element in line!” He gave Merry a glare nopony who knew him believed.

“Don’t take it ‘ard, Skipper! Wot with the floggin’ n’ all yer a kinky Old Poop, but we all luv ya anyway!”

Caper shook his head wearily and addressed the Vulcan.

“And for this I postponed retirement! Oi!”

Sekkack nodded sagely. “However unorthodoxly it is expressed I have no doubt of your crews sincerity… though their emotional displays are difficult for me to understand.”

“Da.” Caper agreed. “Just so! Still, would not trade for any other crew… with few notable exceptions!” He shot a look at Merry who just smiled her no-hard-feelings smile. Caper pretended not to see that and cleared his throat. “Matter of Tyllae is tabled in favor of breakfast. Starry and Good Doctor will keep me appraised of progress. Leetle Pooka! Avail self of new roommates and study hard! Is very different life than what you knew before, nyet?”

“Tyllae will work very, very, very and learn alla what Tyllae needs to know, Cappy Caper!” She sat up proudly and put a hoof to her chest. “Tyllae issa 'per-vert'! Starry said so! … What? Why is everypony looking at Tyllae like that?”

I hung my head as everypony turned to look our way. “It’s a long story! I’ll tell you all later. Eat your breakfast, kiddo!” I fiddled my oatmeal just to avoid the eyes and tried to block out Merry’s whoops and Sunny’s titters!

“… Da.” Caper eyed the little Fey for a moment, then rapped his spoon on the table to get all our attention. “One last thing!” He leveled the spoon like a phased-balefire gun at the table. “Anypony says to me ‘Cappy Caper’ while on duty… bread and water in Brig! Everypony understand?” He slid his eyes to Merry… who busily tucked into her oatmeal with every indication of delight and thus avoided committing herself to a definite answer!

* * *

I couldn’t eat much breakfast after that. Truth be told I was feeling pretty weak in the knees and emotionally exhausted after all that. I gave my food to Tyllae who packed it away in an amazingly short time! With the now-plump Faery tucked back into my mane I took a detour before dropping her off in Sickbay.

Below the Primary Hull, the ‘saucer section’ of the Hermes, is the Secondary Hull that connects the Warp Nacelle to the rest of the ship. About halfway down that is a corridor that runs along the outside on either side. In that set of corridors are some of the few actual portholes on the ship. Thick windows of reinforced transparent aluminum, now clear of the armored shutters that protected them in hazardous situations. I paused there to look out at streaks of starlight that smeared themselves on our Warp Field, tens of thousands of tiny rainbows Doppler-shifting from white to indigo is silent parade.

I felt rather than saw the tiny head poke through my mane…

“Ooh! Pretty-pretty!” Tyllae exclaimed. “Is like the window-thingy Starry an Sunny have in little house. Why put window-thingies in hallway, Starry?”

I raised my hand up and the little Fey dutifully hopped onto it. I held her close and scritched her teeny head.

“In our cabin we have a monitor screen, kiddo. That’s what the Captain of the Cimarron had in his, too. It’s for watching entertainment or reading data.”

“Tyllae knows! Tyllae hid onna bookshelf an watched what Starry an Sunny watched inna bed!”

I stiffened, feeling a blush break out on my muzzle. “Er…, everything we watched?”

“Yep, yep, yep! Tyllae liked the Three Stoogey Ponies with the funny manes! An the cartoonies, too!” I began to relax just a little when she concluded, “An the sexy-sex stuff, too! Starry should have been taking notes! Maybe Sunny was trying to teach Starry by showing!” The little twerp tittered and giggled.

“These,” I tapped on the view port, desperate to change the subject, “Are view ports! Actual windows. We’re looking outside the Hermes.”

The little Fey flitted up and touched the view port with a hoof, excited!

“Ooh! Tyllae had looked an looked by Tyllae had never ever been able to find a door to go outside! Tyllae loves to be with Starry an Sunny an Her-mees friends, but Tyllae wants to go outside an play inna flowers an trees. Looky-look! Is night outside!” She paused, cocking her head and squinting at the star-streaks. “… But why are stars all funny-looking, Starry? Where issa Moon?”

I gathered her close again and sighed, wondering how to break this to her as I gathered my thoughts.

“Tyllae… remember that we call Hermes a ship? Do you know what a ship is?”

The little mite sat down, turned her little face to me, and got ready to learn.

“I think you think the Hermes… and the Cimarron… are houses.” I began, “In a way they both are. Both of them are places Ponies live in. Lots of rooms full of lots of things Ponies need to live.” I paused a moment. “Ships are like houses, but made of metal and synthetics. The roofs and walls all built tight so air can’t get out. Ships have things called engines that let them move from place to place. The first ships moved across oceans of water. But the Hermes is a starship, and flies among the stars. Cimarron was a starship, too! …A much smaller one, of course. Instead of a single house, you can think of Hermes as being a small village in a metal shell zooming through space.” I was actually proud of my little analogy. I cocked an eye at my pint-sized pupil. “… Is any of this making sense, kiddo?”

Tyllae blinked three times, then raised a hoof in front of her eyes and made a zooming motion over the top of her little head and resumed waiting patiently to hear something she could understand. I sighed.

“The stars look like that because the Hermes is inside a… a…” I waved my free hoof and tried to think of a better word to describe a Time Warp Field. After a second I gave up. “…Magic Bubble that lets us travel between stars. The bubble changes our view of the space around us like looking through wavy glass. Outside this window is nothing. No air, no gravity, nothing but energy and radiation. If you were to go outside you’d pop like a little balloon while you cooked to a crisp!”

That much seemed to sink in, at least. Tyllae’s ears drooped and she looked shaken as she strove to digest all this.

“Tyllae was thinking Tyllae could just poof through glass an play outside! Tyllae is very, very, very glad Tyllae listened to Sunny first!” She turned to look outside wistfully and sighed a teeny sigh she couldn’t quite suppress.

“Tyllae is happy to be where Starry an Sunny are. Tyllae likes being part of Her-mees Tribe. Tyllae will ride in funny flying village an be very, very, very good. But… Starry… ?” She hugged my thumb, drawing strength enough to ask, maybe. Her little black eyes were wide and trusting while voice brimmed over with barely contained hope. “If Her-mees village is going someplace, does Starry think there will be grass an flowers an trees? …Will Tyllae get to go outside an play someday?”

I lifted her up and nuzzled the little mite.

“We’re on a voyage of exploration, Tyllae. We’re going places we've never been before. Anything could be out there, we just don’t know yet! That’s why we’re here. It’s what we do. I can promise you this much, kiddo. If we get somewhere where we can go outside… I’ll bend Caper’s elbow till he authorizes Shore Leave for ‘Leetle Pooka’, hokay?” I gave her my best Caper impression, heavy Rushin accent an all!

“Oakey-dokey-lokey, Starry!” The Fey giggled and nuzzled my muzzle. “Tyllae will wait an be very, very, very good! Tyllae promises!”

“I know you will, kid!” I gave her a little buss and looked out at the streaming Beyond. “One day, when we get back to Earth, we’ll take you to meet Sunny’s Daddy. He lives in a castle with a mountain and a huge forest all around it with lots and lots of gardens to boot. You’ll love it! …Just stay away from the uskebaugh!”

Author's Note

The 'Green People' are, in fact, Orion Pirates. The Gorn I want to save for a later cameo! *Looks thoughtful* ... You know, I never really thought about the Kzin or the Caitians! You'd think they'd be naturals for the Prism Universe! Let's see what we can do with them! *Starts scribbling frantically*

Chapter Twenty- Life with Tyllae

CHAPTER TWENTY

LIFE WITH TYLLAE

Caper had given the task of verifying Tyllae’s origins to Sunny. I had a few ideas about how to do it but I didn’t want to step on Sunny’s hooves since my ideas involved her Medical Department.

Sunny had kept the little Fey with her in Sickbay during her watch. Word of our most unusual newest addition had spread at warp speed and an inordinate number of Ponies found some pretext in the form of some imagined ailment or injury to make their way into Sickbay that day. … Until Sunny put her hoof down and started dispensing laxatives and emetics on the spot along with quick check-ups involving archaic and very cold instruments from the display hung on the wall of the Sickbay! (Sunny can be a terror when she wants to be!)

Mealtimes were a circus! It was amusing to remember how the now-gregarious little mite had originally balked at the idea of openly interacting with Ponies. My initial intention was to start dining in the Wardroom all the time but the crew positively thronged out of curiosity. Ponies came in from other watches, sacrificing sleep just to see the Legendary Faery! We instantly collected a crowd whenever we came to eat and Tyllae enjoyed talking and sharing stories with the Ponies she met.

I originally thought… and prayed… that the novelty would soon wear off and the crew would just take her for granted. But, as Tyllae innocently related the stories of her life… particularly the times she’d been in the presence of Luna Herself… I noticed how they hung on every word. There was a positively reverent look in most of their eyes that made me anxious about the can of isotopes we’d opened. After all, for over twenty centuries the Goddesses and Their Final Gift had been nothing but a ponytale. Science and rationality had all but driven them from the collective mind. Hell, just a few days before I’d only invoked Their Names as a preface to a particularly lurid cuss… usually not in Sunny’s presence. Now, though…

On board the Hermes there were a lot of Ponies who began to wonder if all the old tales were actually true! What would the ramifications be for all the Ponies throughout the Federation? For the Federation itself?

Everything hinged upon what Sunny could or could not verify about the little tyke. With that in mind we took her back to Sickbay to give her an exam.

“Hop up here now, Luv!” Sunny patted one of the new bio-beds that was part of the experimental equipment Hermes was evaluating on this trip.

They were nifty pieces of equipment! I was never fond of being slid into one of the old-style cylindrical examination chamber that were standard-issue in those days. I’m not claustrophobic, mind, but I take up a lot of room in those things and it just wasn’t comfortable!

The bio-bed was mounted to the wall and looked like nothing so much as an overdone cot or wheel-less gurney. A tapering sensor antenna projected over the top that fed remotely collected data to the display above the head of the bed. Lying down on it activated the mechanism and displayed a Pony’s’ vitals, among other things, instantly. It made examinations and diagnoses so much faster and easier. Like I said, nifty!

The little Fey flitted from Sunny’s shoulder for a four-point landing on the thinly padded surface and sat down obediently and looked around.

“Whatta gonna do here, Sunny?”

“We’re goin’ t’ be givin’ ye a wee check-up wi’ yon device, Darlin’.” Sunny gave her both lavender barrels because at the words, ‘check-up’, Tyllae began to look anxious. Her ears and antennae drooped.

“Is Tyllae gonna get poop-an-puke stuff like Sunny gave other Ponies?” She quavered.

“Never in life, Dearie!” Sunny soothed. “Those Ponies weren't sick, they were just pretendin’ so they could come n’ gawk at yer little self! I just didn’ want them a-botherin’ me is all. Now ye just sit right there n’ yon machine will tell us all sorts o’ intrestin’ stuff about how fast yer wee heart beats, how often ye breath, what yer temperature is, all manner o’ bonnie stuff!”

Tyllae peered up at the display suspiciously. Then she noticed the slim spike of the sensor and pointed excitedly!

“Looky-look! A Unicorn horn! Is there a Unicorn sticking her horn through the wall, Sunny?”

Sunny chuckled. “Nay, nay! ‘ Tis part o’ machine-”

“Sunny took some poor Unicorn’s horn off an stuck in there?” The little Few was positively aghast!

“What? Whatever gave ye sich a notion, ye wee flibbertigibbet?” Sunny took a calming breath before continuing. …It was nice to see it happening to somepony else! I carefully kept from snickering, though I suppose I smirked. Sunny shot me a look and I did my best Vulcan impression. “Ahem! Now then… This here is th’ sensor that will look ye over n’ show us what it finds up yon, ye ken? Think of it as a-havin’ verra good, sharp eyes like, oh, I dinna ken… a hawk or summat!”

“But Hawks eat Faeries, Sunny!”

“Och! D’ ye no ken a metaphor? ‘Tis like a hawk, but no a hawk. Fair enough?”

“Well-l-l-l…” Tyllae looked uncertain.

“Just park yesel’ there n’ we’ll be done in a couple o’ ticks! I promise!” Since the Fey was orders of magnitude too light to activate the mechanism, Sunny reached for the switch on the wall.

“Now there’ll be a bit o’ noise whin it starts. Every time yer wee heart beat ye’ll hear a beep. Now sit tight n’ watch th’ pretty lights!”

She thumbed the switch and the display glowed into life. The vertical bars indicating heart rate, respiration, and life energy were quickly scaled by the floating indicators that sprang up from their ‘zero’ positions. With every beat of Tyllae’s heart a soft, red light pulsed in time to the audio monitors ‘weet’.

“There we go!” Sunny declared. “Now let’s see wha we got then…” She studied the readouts as they climbed to their positions.

Weet. Weet. Weet. Weet! The bio-bed chimed away rapidly.
Weet. Weet. Weet. Weet!

“Aye.” Sunny murmured. “ ‘Tis about what ye could expect from a wee thing like yerself. Ye’ve th’ metabolism o’ a huminbird…” She broke off and frowned as the audio alert sped up. Weet-weet-weet-weet! All the indicators began to climb and bobble and we both looked to the table.

Tyllae was trembling, but holding her ground… for the moment! She raised a trembling hoof.

“T-the Hawk-machine is staring at Tyllae! How can something not alive stare lika that? Make it stop, Sunny! Make it stop! Tyllae does not like nasty Hawk-machine!” She abruptly turned around with her rump in the air and her head on the bed, covering her little face with her hooves! (I thought with anti-hawk behavior like that, it was no wonder Faeries went extinct! The Mare in my head gave me a jab to shut up and insisted there had to be an Evolutionary motive for it.)

“Tyllae, now, dinna be foalish!” Sunny coaxed. “ ‘Tis no more lookin’ at ye than a terminal wi’ th’ video enabled.”

But the little Fey was having none of it! Without turning she jabbed a shaky foreleg at the mechanism. “Is looking all through Tyllae! Like lotsa, lotsa, lotsa, hungry hawks all together! It stares so haaaard!” She wailed.

Weetweetweetweetweet!

“It’s scurry, scurry, SCUREEEEE!”

Weetweetwe- Two things happened in the same instant. The monitor darkened and went silent and there was a flare of rose-pink light under my chin! I blinked and dodged aside, thinking that the monitor had somehow exploded! When I did so I felt an extra something sway in my blouse! Something soft and warm and familiar nestled in my cleavage, trembling.

“Tyllae! … Where th’ bloody blue blazes she get off to? I didna see her leave!” Sunny stood, shocked, for a moment then looked wildly around the Sickbay for the panicked Fey. She ducked and looked under the bio-bed!

“It’s ok! It’s ok! I’ve got her! She’s right here!” I hurried to calm Sunny while grabbing my blouse to keep the little thing from sliding down any further.

“Well how’d she get in there?”

“She can teleport!” I pulled my collar open and addressed the figure huddling between my breasts. “Can’t you?” I yanked my head back as Tyllae poked up to hang over the edge of my collar.

“Of course Tyllae can do! How else does Starry think Faeries keep from being eaten up by bad ol’ Hawks?” (The Mare in my head gave me an I-told-you-so look!)

Right then the Mid-Watch Doctor (A Brown and light-Green Unicorn buck named Willowbark.) looked around the corner of the Pharmacy and gave us a questioning look.

“Is everything all right in here, Doctor Eyes?”

Sunny waved him back. “We just hae a wee patient wi’ a braw, great case o’ Bein’ Scared O’ Th’ Doctor is all. Sorry t’ make a ruckus!”

Willowbark nodded and withdrew.

“Tyllae is never, never, never ever scared of Sunny!” Tyllae scolded. “Tyllae is scared of bad, bad, bad Hawk-machine! Tyllae loves Sunny an wants to be good an do as Sunny says, but Tyllae will not go back onna there! Nope, nope, nope!”

Sunny facehoofed. “Och, fer th’ luv’ o’… Tyllae! Come out o’ there, ye daft, wee imp!” Her horn fired up and Tyllae dove back under cover.

I raised a cautionary finger as I felt something move. “If you’re thinking of going in there after her I’d like to point out she’s got a hold of something I don’t want to risk losing to a misfired teleportation or telekinesis spell. I was born with two and I want to go out with two, thank-you-both-very-much!”

Sunny’s horn dimmed and she shook her wings, irritated. She took a cleansing breath, counting to ten .

“Tyllae, Dear!” After a moment the taupe-and-rose-pink head peeped out. “Have I ever done anything t’ hurt ye, Sweetie? I’m sorry yer scairt but I hae t’ get this done. Come on out n’ I’ll finish this up th’ old-fashioned way. No more time savin’, convenient machines. I promise. Put-a-cupcake-in-ma-eye!” So help me, Sunny made an ‘x’ over her chest! … Must be an Earth thing.

Tyllae wriggled her way out and, while I adjusted my blouse, flitted back over to the bio-bed and landed gingerly. She gave the display a distrustful look, but it stayed dark.

“Tyllae is sorry to be a scardey-chicken, Sunny.” The adorable mite hung her head and looked sheepish as Sunny opened a drawer and rummaged around in it. “Tyllae is sorry Tyllae made a mess, too. Tyllae will clean up!”

“Oh?” Sunny pulled out a stethoscope and peered over to where the little mite was pointing. “Oh! Dinna fash yesel’, Tyllae-me-Lass! I could use a urine sample!” She produced a spray hypo, fitted an empty ampule to it, siphoned up the teeny puddle and scritched the little Fey behind the ears to show no hard feelings.

“Now this wee instrument is called a ‘stethoscope’. N’ ’twill let me listen t’ yer wee heart. Ye work it like this.” She popped the earpieces into her ear, then took them out. “Would ye like t’ take a bash at workin’ it?”

“Tyllae?” The little Fey pointed to herself, surprised.

“Oh, aye! ‘ Tis an easy enough a thing t’ work. … If ye ken ye can manage th’ earpieces!” She brought them down to her level and opened them up on either side of her elfin head.

“Tyllae can do!” She said excitedly. The pips on her antennae glowed like fireflies, enveloping the ends of the earpieces in rosy-pink light. They snugged up to and covered her tiny ears. “Easy-peasy!” She called out in a louder-than-usual voice.

“Here we go then!” Sunny knelt and slipped the other end down her own blouse and held it there patiently.

The little Fey frowned, concentrating. Then her little, black eyes opened wide!

“Tyllae can hear Sunny heart-beaties! …Sounds like Starry’s when Tyllae is sleeping at night. But Starry’s is louder!”

Sunny withdrew the business end of the ‘scope. “Well, she has a bigger heart in more ways than one. Doesn't she?” She crinkled her nose and smiled at me. …How can you not love somepony like that?

Tyllae removed the ear-bits and shook her head. “Tyllae heard really, really, really good! Was almost as loud as Sunny’s snoring!”

Sunny collected the instrument and put it on. “Now let’s be havin’ a listen t’ yerself.” One finger came down and tapped the giggling Fey on the rump. “An’ I dinna snore! Now keep quiet while I do this. I dinna need me eardrums burst!”

It took a little doing but Sunny is nothing if not resourceful. After a little bit she was able to get an idea of Tyllae heart and respiration rate by dint of keeping one eye on the chronometer and an even sharper on her wriggling patient. Sunny jotted the results down on a padd then sat back and frowned.

“… I dinna ken what I can do ‘bout yer blood pressure, ye lil’ scamp. I dinna hae a blood pressure cuff that wouldna squeeze ye into taffy! D’ye ken ye could put up wi’ me usin’ a medical tricorder fer a few ticks? ‘Tis a sensor, but just a wee, little ‘un hardly bigger than yer wee self!”

“Like the nasty looky-box that Starry used inna Food Place?” The little Fey looked apprehensive. “That’s why Tyllae knocked the big bowls over! Tyllae wanted to get away fast, fast, fast!”

Sunny’s ears drooped. “Aye, close enough. Well… bugger!” She chewed the inside of her cheek a little. “Tell ye what! I’ll program th’ bio-bed fer just blood pressure n’ mute th’ heart monitor. I’ll fire it up fer just two seconds n’ shut ‘er right down! D’ye ken ye can make it for that long? Come along on, then! A braw, fierce Faery that tussled wi’ th’ likes o’ Nightmare Moon ought t’ be able t’ go two wee seconds wi’ a harmless biosensor!” She gave the Fey a poke in the ribs.

“Tyllae did not tussle! Tyllae was trying to get away!” Tyllae pointed out, giving the sensor a nervous look. “An it didn’t work!”

“I happen t’ ken tha’ Bob’s a-makin’ sugar cookies fer dessert tonight.” Sunny singsonged, changing tacks neatly. “Ye play yer cards right n’ be a brave lil’ spriggan it’ll be in me t’ gi’ ye me cookie!”

Tyllae was interested, but unsure! “A whole ‘nother cookie just for Tyllae? Oh-o-o-o-o-o…” She fidgeted all four legs and bit her lip. Little Faeries are not meant to make big decisions!

“Big n’ soft n’ still warm! Mmm-mm!” Sunny set the hook and splayed two fingers. “Fer jus’ two wee seconds!

Tyllae looked up at me. “How long is two seconds, Starry?”

I extended one finger at a time. “One thousand one, one thousand two. Just that long! Easy-peasy, Squirt!”

“Well…. Okey-dokes!” She nodded determinedly… after bracing her little self. The little mite hunkered down on the bio-bed gingerly.

“Super!” Sunny declared. “Just gi’ me a couple o’ ticks t’ get set up!” She made the requisite adjustments and gave me a significant look. “Starry, Dear! Will ye no gi’ me a hoof wi’ procedure?”

“Gotcha!” I knelt by the bed and picked up the Fey and re-positioned her facing away from the display. Carefully keeping out of the sensors range I took up a position in front of her, putting my head down on her level. Sunny counted down from three on her fingers…

When she pressed the switch I crossed my eyes and stuck my tongue out at Tyllae who blinked, surprised and cocked her head!

“… Wassa Starry doing? Tyllae gotta concentrate on being brave for Sunny!”

“Sssh!” I put a finger in front of my muzzle. “I’m being a distraction!”

She shooed me away with a hoof! “Starry! Tyllae is trying to be good an brave! Hush, hush, hush!” I gave her a raspberry!

“Hay! Starry! Tyllae wants to get a cookie, no fair making Tyllae mess up!” She started hopping up and down on all fours in protest. I goggled my eyes, tilted my head, and waggled my tongue… hoping nopony else was seeing this!

“Star-ree!” The little Fey stomped a hoof!

“All done!” Sunny declared, switching off in triumph! “Ye’re rollin’ in cookies, me wee Lass! Thank ye, Starry! I may hae t’ git ye transferred down t’ help out wi’ the difficult patients!”

“Thanks, but no thanks!” I straightened up and stretched.

“Hay!” Tyllae whipped around in a quick one-eighty and eyed the display! “No fair tricking Tyllae! Tyllae was not ready!”

Sunny gave the little Fey a scritch! “Ye did jus’ grand, Dearie! I even had enough time to do a quick whole-body scan!”

Tyllae blinked! “All done? Then Tyllae gets another cookie tonight?”

“Aye! Blood pressure’s all done.” Sunny retrieved her hypo and fitted a very small ampule into it. “I just have to get a wee, little bit o’ blood now t‘ get an idea o‘ yer DNA. I can guarantee that this wilna hurt even a little bit n’ll even take less time!”

Tyllae did a whole-body droop! “Aw, burrs! Tyllae just can’t win today!”

I leaned an elbow on the table next to the hapless Faery. “Cheer up, kiddo!” …Sunny moved into position… “You can have my cookie, too! Think of it as hazard pay! But…” I leveled a forefinger at her and gave her a stern look as Sunny came in from her blind side. “I’m not making any more faces!”

Wssst went the hypo and Tyllae squeaked and hopped straight into my mane! She stuck her head out an instant later, indignant!

“Hay! No fair sneaky-sneaking up on poor Tyllae!”

“Sure n’ why should ye have all th’ fun!” Sunny teased, popping the ampule free and tagging it. “I’m sorry if I scared ye, wee scamp.”

“Tyllae was not scared, just startled. There’s a difference! Right, Starry?” I could feel her rubbing her rump.

“Yep!” I agreed. “I guess Sunny and I are still having trouble reading Faery body language. Any big, tough Faery that can wrestle cookies into submission like you wouldn't be scared of an itty-bitty spray hypo!”

…The little twerp stuck her head into my ear and gave me a raspberry! It tickled!

Chapter Twenty One- The Day of the Hawk

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

THE DAY OF THE HAWK

“Personal log stardate 1004.3, Commander Starry-Eyes recording. The Hermes is on course for the Equestrin Colony in Cruise Mode at Time Warp Factor Seven, all systems optimal. At 0652 hours this morning we received communications from Starfleet Command regarding a minor change to our Mission Profile. The Ambassador from Equestris, Ms. Hammer Hoof, has declared that the Colony of Equestris, in tribute to the voyage of the Hermes and as a mark of devotion to the Federation itself, has offered a gift of a complete set of dilithium crystals for our ship. The Federation Council has asked that we divert from our planned course to rendezvous with the Colony at our earliest convenience to accept this generous gift. Chief Engineer Jerry-Rig assures us that at Warp Seven we can divert to Equestris for two days and get back to our scheduled locale with no time lost.
On a personal note, I’m thrilled to death at the prospect of seeing Home again. I haven’t been there in over a decade. I’m really looking forward to seeing Daddy again and introducing him to my wife… and Tyllae!
On the subject of Tyllae, the DNA tests Sunny performed on her blood indicates that she is completely related to every other lifeform presently living on Earth even down to the ambiguous ‘magic’ genes in her genome. She is, in fact, what she says she is; a living, breathing representative of a world that has for thousands of years been thought to be mere legend. The implications are astounding. … I hope we can keep the little tyke from being cooped up in a laboratory for the rest of her life being quizzed and studied by the time we get back. Nopony should have to endure that and I’m sure she wouldn’t.
Commander Starry-Eyes, out. Copy all but second paragraph to Science Officer’s log.” I thumbed off the recorder at me station and settle back, pleased. It was nearly the end of another uneventful watch. Oh, Astrometrics had some anomalous readings on a few distant starts that weren’t quite where they were supposed to be, but that was probably just the result of some errors on the part of the civilian Traders who’d done a rough job of charting this area of space decades ago. We’d be out there in a few weeks to nail down their positions and get them properly charted. Just more routine cruising for the Hermes, easy-peasy!

Sunny had found an excuse to wander onto the Bridge to wait for me to end my watch. (Tyllae was with Bob in the Galley. Turned out that there were going to be raisin-oatmeal cookies for dessert and he thought Tyllae, cookie expert extraordinaire, should be on hand to make sure they were up to standards!) To while away the time while she waited she’d brought along a padd programmed with a selection of crossword puzzles she’d been working her way through since the trip started. Just then she’d propped herself against my console and frowned over her padd, pausing to ask every so often whoever was paying attention for an x number letter word that meant whatever. Merry was no help, offering comic puns and double entendres for a quick laugh. Caper would chew over a clue for awhile while he lounged in his chair and more often than not would give her the word she needed. She’d stopped asking me when I told her a seven letter word for somepony who was making a nuisance of themselves was ‘Alicorn’. The way her tail kept flirting with my leg told me there were no hard feelings!

The Long-Range Sensors beeped for my attention and I gave Sunny a poke to her Cutie Mark to make her shift over. Ducking my muzzle down, I peered into the soft blue haze of the 3-D display and had a look at the data coming in.
The Long-Range Sensors were on Cruise Mode, passively scanning an area radiating fifteen light years around the ship. Mainly they are on the lookout for changes is star position from designated star charts, new astronomical phenomena, and, as in this case, unnatural energy readings. At the fringe of our detection radius was a subspace distortion, a classic indication of a Time Warp Field in flight! I focused more of our Sensory on it and the image built up. I saw a substantial Warp Field take shape and began getting information on radiated emissions…

Caper had apparently caught my motion out of the corner of that third eye in the back of his head all the really competent officers have. From the volume and clarity of his voice I deduced that he must have swiveled his chair in my direction.

“Is something, Commander?”

I paused just a moment to soak up a little more information before replying. “Long-Range Sensors have picked up a starship. Three light-years out, moving at a speed of Warp five point oh-one on a course that is roughly convergent to our own on two planes. Fifteen megacochranes of field strength with no indication of magical enhancement. Whatever it is, it isn’t one of ours. I’d say it’s just about the same size as us, plus or minus five percent.” I tied in the Ship Recognition Manual and turned to face Caper. “The Computer is looking for a match in the Federation Database.”

Caper nodded. “Do they seem to be aware of us?”

I shook my head, “Unless their sensors are better than ours, and we have a vastly enhanced sensor suite, we should still be light-years beyond their range. I’m detecting relatively low levels of active scanning. It’s my guess they are in Cruise Mode like us. They’ve neither changed course or upped their scanning.” My board beeped for my attention again and I turned back to my display as the information built up. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sunny put her padd on my console as she chimed into the discussion.

“Well since yon ship isna one o’ ours p’raps we should exercise some o’ th’ famous Federation Diplomacy n’ pop over t’ say hello. Seems pretty straightforward enough. Steady as she goes’ n’ all that. First star t’ th’ left n’ straight on till mornin’!” I gave her bottom another poke to shut her up and got a flick of a tail in, ah, rebuttal. (The Mare in my Mind frowned at the pun!)

“Please to put our location on Main Viewer, Commander-pushka.” Caper drawled.

I forwarded the information and spun in my chair to address the Bridge.

The Main Screen showed a schematic of a region of space ten light-years by ten light-years gridded off in one light-year squares. Along the bottom and up the right side of the picture ran an irregular line that formed the Federation border consisting of the space claimed by the Andorians and Tellarites respectively. High on the right side the Equestris Colony was highlighted eight light years from the nearest Tellarite world, Ghooran. The void between the borders represented space that had not been officially charted and explored by the Federation, though Traders had been feeling out the space for years. A half-dozen non-aligned worlds, depicted as blue points, were scattered within it, ports of call for these very Traders. Six-tenths of the way across this expanse was a blinking white pip with a directional arrow labeled ‘NCC-585 Hermes’ that was tracking steadily toward Equestris.

I cleared my throat. “What we’re seeing is a representation of unexplored space on the Federation border between Andorian and Tellarite space that we’re currently star mapping. The six worlds on the display are trading partners with Federation. Stellar Cartography section had located four more M to N-Class worlds as yet unexplored.” I reached to touch a control and four yellow points labeled with sector coordinates sprang into view. “The lack of electromagnetic signals indicate that these are habitable but uninhabited worlds. In a few weeks we’ll be making flybys of these systems to gather more data for later missions to investigate. We’ll be spending our time considerably farther out!” This close to the border, the Federation would send other vessels. The Hermes was bound for more distant parts! “The vessel we’ve picked up is here,” I toggled a switch and a yellow pip with a directional arrow pointing down and to the right towards the Tellarite border sprang into view three squares away. “… on a course that will eventually take it into Federation territory in Tellarite space. The pip, labeled ‘UNKNOWN’ blinked and tracked more slowly than our own. The projected paths would nearly cross in the next hour or so. My console made a noise and I bent over my viewer again.

“The Federation database,” I announced. “Has made an identification of the ship.” I tabbed another control and turned to face the display. The white pip had turned red. “It comes up as being identical to a Klingon ship type designated by Federation Intelligence as a Frigate, F-5 class.”
Evee raised her eyebrows and Caper chewed the inside of his lip.
“Touchy lot, them Klingons!” Merry observed as the red, ‘KLINGON F-5’ pip wended its way on the screen. “Gotta wonder what they’re doin’ out this way, though…”

“What are ye lookin’ so grim for?” Sunny wondered. “P’raps they’re out explorin’ th’ same as we. Last I heard we’re no at war wi’ th’ Klingons!”

“Neither are we at peace.” Caper grunted. “Treaty exists that says we must respect each other’s boundaries. In deep space we have agreed to be… non-hostile.”

“The Klingons,” I told Sunny. “Work differently than us. As far as we can see they do no indulge in gathering abstract knowledge for its own sake. They are… ruthlessly practical in their dealings with other species. They don’t explore, they conquer. They’ve enslaved entire cultures to provide resources for their Empire. To my knowledge there is no such thing as a Klingon Research Starship. They have no analogue to our Starfleet. Their Deep Space Fleet is an organ of their Military Forces and their Military is their Government. In short, they are the antithesis of us. Really! Don’t you read any of your briefings?”

“I read th’ important stuff.” Sunny declared loftily. “We know that yon Klingons have a higher metabolic rate, more efficient digestive system, and are carnivores. Starfleet Medical knows enough how to treat then if they’re injured. It’s up to you lot t’ make sure neither of us get t’ th’ point o’ shootin’ at each other.” She ruffled and resettled her wings defensively.

“ Sentiment that Klingons do not seem to share.” Caper observed dryly. “Klingons are notoriously confrontational.”

“They have an aggressive psychology n' they respect strength n’ martial virtues. Y’ see! I do keep up on things!” Sunny stuck her tongue out at me briefly before adopting a more refined expression for the rest of the Bridge. “Th’ Xenopsycolological database makes note o’ th’ fact that, fer all their bluster, they can be reasoned with as long as ye keep that in mind. What ever happened t’ ‘everypony deserves a chance’?” She gave me a poke on the arm.

“They are most definitely NOT Ponies.” I stated flatly. “They’re just a cut above Romulans from all accounts. They haven’t moved overtly against the Federation because they appreciate that we’re capable of mauling them in a real war to the extent of destabilizing their Empire. They’ve been trying in other ways like diplomatic channels by making the Federation seem weak and feeble to non-aligned worlds through widespread an ‘unofficial’ propaganda. And Klingon ships have been implicated in several acts of deep space piracy… that their government disavows, of course. They’re more subtle than the Romulans, they have more resources at their disposal so they figure they can maneuver less openly. They are a threat… or, at least, they have the potential to be.”

“It behooves us then, t’ gi’ th’ laddies th’ benefit o’ doubt till they do summat overt, dunnit? If Discord could be made t’ see reason so can th’ Klingons.” Sunny said patiently.

“The best thing you can say about Klingons is that they’re not Romulans. They’re nothing but murderers and pirates, you know. The next war will be with the Klingons.” The unexpected voice made us all turn and look.

Guiding Star is the quietest and most laid-back Pony I’ve ever met. He’s not shy or introverted. By all accounts he just doesn’t have anything to say! He’s in love with being out among the stars and does his job almost reverently and I’ve never heard his voice raised in anger. Next to Little Rock he’s the most laconic Pony I know. …Neither is he politically opinionated, which made his quiet statement all the more surprising.

He didn’t move the rest of his body. Only his head half-turned to cock an eye at the rest of the Bridge. “Talking reason to somepony is all well and good… providing that that pony is willing to listen. I’m just saying, is all.” His head turned back to his board, then to the Main Viewer. “Our courses will converge in ten minutes and seventeen seconds Sir, Ma’am.”

“Oi! There y’are, Star! Thot Oy saw ya come in!” Merry leaned over and waved comically. “ ‘Ere, do us a solid ’n tone it down a titch, eh? Some ponies ‘re trying to work ‘ere!” She gave him a thumbs up that he seemed to ignore.

“Any you would know about work how?” Caper raised an eyebrow at the Communications Officer who promptly started tapping out a beeping medley on her board with an unrepentant grin. He swiveled his chair toward the rest of us.

“ ‘Twould seen th’ propaganda’s alive n’ well on both sides.” Sunny commented dryly.

“Both sides have room for improvement, Good Doctor. To be sure there is mistrust and lack of understanding between Federation and Klingon Empire.” He shrugged his wings. “Is job for diplomats. But, am nothing if not sociable Pony! In interests of interstellar friendship and harmony am not for one not adverse to dropping by to say hello… especially to Klingon vessel so far out of Klingon territory, da? Helm, lay in intercept course. Communications Officer! Please to stop making nonsense noises on board and send following message…”

Merry tabbed a control on her console with a grin. “Ready to record at your station, Skipper!”

Caper gave a long-suffering grunt quietly, then activated the comm station on the arm of his Command Chair. “This is Captain Cloud Caper of Federation starship, Hermes, to Klingon vessel near Federation border. We are en route to your position and were wondering if we could come alongside and talk for little bit, da? Am standing by for your reply.” He nodded to Merry who closed the circuit and popped her earpiece into her ear.

“Transmittin’ now. They should get it in about ten seconds at this range, Skipper.”

Caper nodded and grunted. “ Signal Yellow Alert. Advise phased-balefire and torpedo stations to prep their batteries but stop just short of activation. Same message to shield crew. Wish to be ready at moment’s notice if necessary. Advise Engineering.” He nonchalantly noticed Sunny’s arched eyebrow and swung in her direction. “We are friendly, Good Doctor, but not stupid. Am reasonable Pony who is not willing to take unreasonable chances when dealing with Klingons. As Leetle Pooka would say, ‘Nyet, nyet, nyet!’ ”

“It seems t’ me that there’s morena wee bit o’ tactics bein’ talked for a simple social call.” Sunny crossed her arms and sniffed.

“Is old Rushin proverb, Good Doctor. ‘ Are old Captains and bold Captains, but there are no old, bold Captains.’ Please to exchange ‘reckless’ for ‘bold’ and draw own conclusions.” He waggled a forefinger at her and swiveled to face me. “As long as somepony mentioned ‘tactics’ , Commander Starry-pushka, what does database say of armaments of F-5?”

I reached for the control but was distracted by a change in my display. “Just a moment, Captain. The Klingon has changed course.” I bent over the viewer and peered inside, studying the readout. “… The Klingon vessel is steering a series of overlapping switchback turns.” I looked up at him. “It’s going ‘Crazy Khaless’.”

Caper grunted and nodded and Evee smirked silently. Sunny stomped a hoof irritably.

“Would I be breakin’ some Militry protocol t’ ask t’ be let in on th’ joke?”

“This kind of behavior has been observed in Klingon ships before, Sunny.” I soothed. “It would seem that their Sensory is most accurate forty percent starboard and port of their forward direction. When surprised… like by us, apparently… Klingon ships steer a search pattern doubling back on their previous course to bring their best sensors to bear until they locate the target. The ship acts like it’s gone crazy trying to catch its own tail. ‘Khaless’ is some important figure in Klingon culture. The maneuver was given the nickname ‘Crazy Khaless’ by Federation Intelligence.”

“O’ course it was!” Sunny rolled her lovely eyes. “It seems t’ me that if we put as much effort into gettin’ t’ know these laddies as we did a-spyin’ on them we’d be that much farther along into a peaceful relationship!”

Caper lounged in his seat and regarded Sunny patronizingly… something he was well aware… irked her to no end. “Is your first voyage into deep space, Doctor. Few Ponies get to be out here to see reality as opposed to information in public database. Klingon borders against Romulan border. Klingon ships very scrupulous about our respecting Klingon Space… and were of no help against Romulans! Politics are real and not some idealistic desire on part of uninformed Civilians. Galaxy is hard place, da? People like Klingons and Romulans are why. Federation does not start wars. Is our part to discourage others from trying to start them by not behaving as easy target. Again, we are not stupid or aggressive… we are vigilant! Is big difference as even Doctor Ponies can see, nyet? You were about to say, Commander…?” He kicked his chair a few degrees over to me, leaving Sunny to formulate a suitable acidic reply.
But before I could even speak, Merry butted in.

“ ‘Ere! Pardon me, you lot. Engineering and Tactical reported ready a few seconds ago, Skipper. All decks rigged for Yellow Alert.”

Caper cocked an eye to the chronometer and gave a pleased grunt. “Very good! Signal Captain’s compliments to all departments for being on ball. … Let us hope is just another drill, da?”

Sunny had mustered up a reply but I gave her a poke in the ribs to shut her down. “As I was going to say, the database reports that the F-5, like all Klingon warships mounts disruptors as its main armament. (‘Think of it as shotguns versus our rifles.’ I said aside to Sunny.) In this case there should be two banks of one weapon each with a one hundred and eighty degree forward firing arc ahead of the ship effective out to eighty thousand kilometers. It also mounts a half-dozen short-range phased energy weapons similar to our phased-balefire weapons, without the magical enhancement of course, effective to about twenty thousand kilometers. Intelligence speculates they either lack the ability to project phased energy farther or that the Klingons have developed the system for dealing with multiple, smaller targets. Both weapon systems’ lethality fall off rapidly at longer ranges. Standard Klingon operations call for formations of three ships acting in unison. In addition there will be one or possible two launchers deploying a short-range, warp-capable missile able to deliver a ten to fifteen megaton antimatter warhead. They do not seem to have developed photonic torpedo technology. Their ship outmasses us by about three thousand metric tons with nearly three times our crew compliment including several Marine boarding parties. Klingons seems to prefer boarding and taking ships when they can for reasons we can only guess at. Finally, their shields are strongest in the forward hemisphere. Since most of their weaponry is oriented in the same direction this is reasonable given their penchant for close-in fighting. In a straight fight at medium-to-close range we’d be in real trouble. Our shields are stronger and more comprehensive, but their weapons recharge faster and there are more of them. If it comes down to it we should keep them at arm’s length and try to get behind them. Unfortunately for us, the F-5 is nearly as agile as we are. Fortunately for us we have a much stronger capability for electronic warfare than they do.” I folded my hands in my lap as I finished my report.

“Oi, Doc!” Merry chortled. “Oy can’t see through all that mane. Are her ears Pony-shaped or they round an’ fuzzy?”

Never slow for a comeback… especially at my expense… Sunny back with, “Sure n’ some of her best attributes are verra round, indeed! … N’ wi’ pointy bits, too, now that I come t’ think on it! But no like her ears by any means!”

I narrowed my eyes and casually stomped on her hoof to shut her up and got switched by her tail in response.
Caper tactfully ignored all that. “Is why she is Number One Science Officer, da? Send to Klingons our bearing so they know where to look. Is nice to know our Sensory is much stronger than theirs, nyet? …Speaking of this, there is no reason to leave ourselves open to casual scanning eh, Starry-pushka?”

“I read you loud and clear, Captain!” I reached over and began shunting extra power to the navigational deflector, a dedicated item of our shielding that keeps space debris from out of the way of the ship. No ship, even at impulse speeds, turns it off since even a hoof-sized rock moving at eighty percent of 'c' packs a terrific wallop with the potential of damaging the hull. Not meant for combat, it’s extremely directional and has a pretty limited energy capacity. We found out during our time with the Romulans that if we reinforced the circuitry and tweaked the frequencies we could broadcast a cone of ‘white noise’ that made us harder to scan by other ships. It wasn’t on par with Romulan countermeasures by any stretch of the imagination, but it kept us from sticking out on their sensors quite so much. It gave us the edge in a lot of encounters and the same trick would work now and keep the Klingons from picking up much on their passive scans. At close range against active scanning it was worthless… but if they were actively scanning at close range we were in a fight already!

“Now what’re ye up to?” Sunny wondered, then looked down at her feet. “Och! Ye scuffed me bloody boot, ye great cart-horse!” She whispered accusingly.

“Then keep my personal topology out of casual conversation on the Bridge!” I hissed back. Then, louder, “I’m upping the power to the Navigational Deflector to keep the Klingons from getting too good a look at us. Star? I’m going to need you to keep the Klingon within thirty-five degrees dead ahead of us for this to work, ok?”

“Roger that, Commander. Just like in the old days. Intercept in less than one minute.” Guiding Star said placidly.

“Any reply from Klingons?” Caper wondered.

“Not yet, Skipper. No doubt they heard us. I coulda picked up that call in a museum with a metal coat hanger in my hoof facin’ the wrong direction!”

I peered into my viewer again. “The Klingons have dropped to sublight and turned in our direction, Captain. They’re running with minimum shields. As far as I can make out their power systems are on standby, too. The generated energy capacity is available but not allocated yet.”

“ N’ th’ trust goes round n’ round!” Muttered Sunny.

“Hush, Sunny.” My Darling stuck her tongue out at me but held her peace.

“Very good, Commander.” Caper ignored the byplay. “If situation deteriorates, if, Good Doctor, full sensor probe of Klingon vessel at full power at earliest convenience. Will interfere with their shooting at us as well as picking up worthwhile information maybe, da?” I nodded and made adjustments to my board.

Merry’s hoof went to her earpiece. “Incomin’ transmission from Klingon vessel, Skipper!”

Caper straightened in his seat. “Put on buddy-buddy faces, everypony! Please to put on Main Viewer, Merry.”

The image that sprang to life on the screen was all the more alien because of its familiarity, it was so Pony-like. The Equinoid that regarded us speculatively from the screen had a dull brick-red coat that seemed to be oiled with a deep black mane that was cropped close into a stiff crest that also gleamed with some sort of dressing. His eyebrows, though not a bushy as Capers, were thick and coarse. They slanted up above each eye and hooked slightly back down at the ends ending in little tufts, just long enough to look disturbingly unnatural. (“Said the eight-foot tall, five hundred pound Equestrin.” The Mare in my head commented. “Keep an open mind!” …I sent her a nasty text message that made her tsk and shake her head!)

At the end of his muzzle he sported a pair of thin, wiry moustaches that reminded me of nothing so much as those on a catfish I saw in an aquarium back on Earth. He wore a black turtleneck garment over which was a sleeveless vest of iridescent shades of gold sparsely threaded with indigo. He sported a pale gold sash that ran across his chest from the left shoulder that bore a few angular badges and a much larger ornament not unlike a high-tech arrowhead underneath.
The camera angle was low. His hooves were out of picture but we could see that his trousers were black. He wore a wicked-looking blade on one hip and some sort of sidearm on the other. His chair was rather overly massive and well upholstered in scarlet. The back rose behind him to form two points not unlike naked, reptilian wings. To me it looked like nothing so much as a barbaric throne. (The Mare in my head nodded in silent agreement ‘Open mind’ , indeed!.) Slightly behind and to his right at about collarbone level stood a slightly less ornate version of himself with a more subdued sash who bore a wicked scar on the left side of his muzzle that revealed an ominously large and developed canine tooth. This one glared contemptuously at us from behind his the seated figure.

“We’ve rendezvoused with the Klingon vessel at twenty thousand kilometers, bearing five degrees relative.” Guiding Star announced quietly.

The Klingon in the chair smirked at us from his perch and I wondered of the low camera angle and elevated chair was a deliberate ploy to assert a sense of dominance over the viewers. My respect for the Klingons went down a notch or two.

“Captain Cloud Caper of the Federation Starship, Hermes. I am Captain Kyr of the Imperial Klingon warship…” His mouth moved and the translation matrix stumbled for a moment before supplying the name, “Switchblade. Tell me, Captain, what give you the right to approach a vessel of the Klingon Empire?” His voice was unctuous and oily and I really didn’t like the way he looked at Sunny who stood just within his field of view.

Caper feigned injured innocence. “Why, this is just social call, Captain Cur…”

“Kyr! My name is ‘Kyr,’ Pony.” The Klingon Captains’ eyes narrowed but his voice never rose above its previous level, though a note of warning had crept in as his translator footnoted the word.

Caper blinked slowly. “Is so? Apologies are all they should be, Captain!” He reached up to tug one ear casually. “Hearing is not all it should be any more. Old age, oy! Eh, Captain? In any event, we were passing through and noticed your ship just outside of Federation Border. Space is big and borders mathematically thin. Easy to trip over, da? Would hate to see Klingon ship make unfortunate diplomatic incident. So, in order not to make too much work for already busy diplomats, we come to show good Klingon buddies location of border and keep politicians happy, nyet?” He smiled a thin, toothless smile and added. “By the way, admire your chair! Clever way to make up for being short, da?” He hooked a thumb over his shoulder. “Border is behind us. Please to go other way, Captain, and make everypony happy. Is small thing to do, nyet? Easy-peasy.”

The Klingon behind Kyr glowered but Kyr pursed his lips and smiled sympathetically at Caper. “It’s a pity that the Federation should put old and feeble Ponies in command of their old and feeble ships. Why, any ship of the Empire would be ashamed to be leaking so much static!” He shook his head pityingly. “It’s a sad comment on the level of Federation technology, isn’t it? Our ships are well-crewed and maintained not by politicians but by Warriors. The strong are meant to govern and command, Captain Caper. The old and the weak should submit. Ours is a far more efficient system.” He paused and gave Caper an insincere, menacing smile. “We’d be so glad to show you how!”

“Do tell, Good Captain Kyr? Is amazing number of civilizations that do not agree. Just ask Romulans about Federations ships and they would tell you different story.”

“Romulans!” Kyr spat the name. “The Empire will crush them!”

“Maybe yes, maybe no.” Caper looked thoughtful. “Have held out longer against you than against us. Is sad comment on state of Klingon ships, da?” He said confidentially. “How is cease-fire working for you, bubula? Safer on Federation side of space than Romulan, da?”

Kyr bristled visibly and Sunny chose that instant to intervene. She stepped up beside Caper.

“Gentlecolts! Gentlecolts!” She turned her dazzling lavender eyes on the Klingon Captain… who gave her far, far too much attention for my liking! “Let’s no be a-turnin’ this into wha Daddy would call a ‘pissin’ contest’ !” Both Klingons frowned as their translator rendered the idiom. “We’re all civilized beings here, are we no? Captain Kyr. I am Commander Solar Cross, Chief Medical Officer of the Hermes. Pleased t’ meet you.” She smiled sweetly at Kyr.

I was forcibly distracted from the exchange by a muted pink flash and a barely audible ‘pop’ that occurred under my bust right at the edge of the console. An instant later, Tyllae stuck her head into my field of view and waved a hoof at me urgently!
“StarryStarryStarry!” She whispered. “Tyllae knows Tyllae should not be on Bridge-place but Tyllae came to warn Cappy Caper Bad Ponies are watching Her-mees! Watching real, real, real hard lika whole buncha bad, bad, bad Hawks! Something bad gonna happen soon, soon, soon! Tyllae does not think anypony knows yet! Why can’t Big Ponies see? Use stupid machines if Starry does not trust Tyllae, but warn nice Cappy Caper Bad People gonna hurt everypony! Hurry, Starry! Hur-ree!” The little Fey was literally hopping with alarm!

The passive scanners had been soaking up information the whole time. I consulted my viewer, carefully keeping the near-frantic Faery hidden by my body. According to what I saw, the Klingon disruptors were not fully charged… yet energy was stored in them. To be sure it was bleeding off but there was enough in them for a one-quarter power shot. Enough to do damage to an unshielded ship. And energy was being diverted in the vessel! Not into weapons or shields… but somewhere! Without going to active scanning I just make out where it was going but, wherever it was, it couldn’t be good!
I grabbed up a padd and stylus and began scribbling on its surface while keeping one ear cocked to the discussion behind me.

“… I have never before seen an Alicorne, Doctor Cross.” Kyr drawled, undressing my Darling with his voice. “Allow me to introduce my Second-in-Command, Kruze. He is a loyal officer and very zealous in his attention to duty.” … Don’t ask me how, but I could feel Kruze leering at Sunny as Kyr continued. “You have so many females in your crew, Captain Caper. Did the Romulans kill all your males?”

Sunny chuckled. “Well half th’ species is female, ye ken! We’re a pretty egalitarian lot in th’ Federation!”
Something in Kyr’s voice made me want to grind my teeth! “Do your females always speak for you, Captain? They know their place in the Empire.”

I scribbled onto the padd, ‘Tyllae came to Bridge to warn us. Klingon attack imminent. Klingon weapons partially powered and energy is being transferred to unknown systems. Don’t know how she knows but Something Is Up!’

“Stay out of sight!” I hissed to the Fey who nodded and disappeared in another pink flash with a ‘pif’ to reappear behind Caper’s chair with a quiet ‘pop’. I rose and stepped over to where Caper and Sunny were, pointedly keeping my face neutral and my gaze off the screen. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kyr’s expression as I came into view and showed the padd to Caper.

“You certainly feed them well in your Federation, Captain!” Kyr remarked. I gripped the padd hard enough to make it creak as Caper dropped his eyes to it, wishing I had that hand wrapped around Kyr’s throat! I darted a glance at the screen. Kyr had partially turned his head and spoke to Kruze.

“That one would be good enough for the Marines, I think!” He remarked.

I glared into his image. “Thank you, but I have no desire to join the Klingon Military.”
“Of course not!” Kyr smiled. “Ponies make terrible soldiers… but exquisite playthings. Alicorns even more so!” For just an instant he glanced off-screen. “Action!” he barked.

The screen went dark at the same moment Caper rapped out.

“Red Alert! Evasive maneuvering, full impulse! Energize weapons! Lock on target!”

I vaulted back to my station in one bound and poured all the power I had available into a sensor probe of the Klingon! I scanned my readouts. Sensors had identified the destination of the energy transfer even as my readings rarefied as out shields built up. The readings were easily identifiable, the technology being similar to ours… but faster!
“Klingon transporters powering up! Transport in progress!” I couldn’t believe my eyes. Transporting while our shields charged! These guys were bucking nuts!

The ship shuddered and the power levels fluctuated. Our partially-built shields faded to practically nothing under the assault. …Ok, maybe they weren’t nuts after all. Just reckless, which made them all the more dangerous! Still, with all the distortion and reflected signals bouncing back from what shields we had, they had to be getting pieces parts back on some of their transporter pads… The Mare in my head grinned a savage grin at the thought.

“Merry!” Caper barked. “Advise Security to repel boarders! Fire all weapons as long as their shields are down. Maximum firing rate!” I could hear Evee’s tactical scanner deploy from her console. I could also hear her firing before she had a complete lock. Sharp kid! At this range she could hardly miss!

The power levels on the Klingon ship dipped and wavered. Phased nadion beams are wicked stuff capable of causing matter to simply break down into a cloud of fermions as they interfered with the Strong Force that binds conventional matter together. Augmented by the Magical Balefire which burned ,clung and clawed away even after being fired, they were simply devastating! (The stun effect of phased energy is a diluted form of the full-strength beam. Part of Starfleet training is get shot by a stun setting. Very unpleasant! …The instructor had to shoot me three times to put me down! Really! I got the point after the first one!)

Phased Balefire weapons are wicked stuff… if only we had a couple more of them!
`As the Hermes shields flickered to practically nothing I could hear the relays clack as our photonic torpedo joined the fight. I watched the readouts of indicate a hit as the Switchblade began to duck past us. Their number two shield went from green to yellow to orange in an eye blink. In Starfleet there are six shield generators, each one providing sixty degrees of spherical coverage. The number one shield is situated directly forward and the other ones are numbered clockwise with number six just to the left of number one. Other species reckon these numbers differently but that’s how we do it in Starfleet. The custom… and I’m not sure I believe it… seems to stem from certain two-dimensional war gaming conventions more than two centuries old! (Sometimes I wonder why the Universe needs aliens since Ponies are weird enough on their own!)
Sensors showed something leaving the Switchblade and speed right toward us. The database tagged it as a Drone Missile making impact in four seconds! I slapped my comm button, going out on all speakers.

“Brace for impact! Incoming missile in three!” I secured myself against my station as the Klingon secondary batteries shattered what was left of our shields. The Bridge shuddered as we took the hits.

“Status of Klingon!” Caper barked.

“Their forward shield is degrading under the effect of the balefire hits. Number two was nearly destroyed by photon torpedo…”

The Hermes rocked as the Klingon drone hit! I stayed glued to my readouts using all my Augmented strength. Sunny squawked and grabbed the Bridge railing in a death grip while everypony else (With the understandable exception of Tyllae!) bounced in their seats!

“Shields are down, Captain! Overloads and blast damage indicated. Spaceframe is intact! If we’re gonna get out of this we need to get behind them!”

“Trying!” Evee called out in an incongruously calm voice. I darted a glance at her. She looked incredibly focused, but relaxed. I’m told that old-style fighter pilots cultivated the same mannerisms. She would have made a good Augment!
She worked her board and the sound of the impulse drive hummed through the entire superstructure as she pushed the ship as hard as she dared. “We’re what they call a ‘nimble ship’ , trouble is… so are they! Let’s see how good their Helm is… “ She stabbed her firing controls and I consulted my readouts as the phased-balefire relays clicked.

“One near miss. Balefire residue on Klingon number three shield. One direct hit on aft number four shield! …It’s collapsing! Damn thing must be made of glass!” I was making sure the recorders were getting all this when I heard Merry call out.

“Oi! Heads up, everypony! Company!”

Klingon transporters cycle faster than ours, mainly due to a lack of redundant safety systems. What takes us almost a minute takes them about seven seconds. Safer to put a suit on and jump off one ship to another… during a solar flare in orbit around a singularity! Like I said, these guys are bucking nuts!
As I looked up, Kruze and two warriors went from being rainbow-patterned, two-dimensional blotches into terrifying solidity. Kruze stood just behind Caper, right next to Sunny who blinked at him stupidly. One materialized between Jerry and Merry and the last one ended up in front of the Main Viewer. All had barbaric shortswords and some sort of pistol in either hoof, and none of them wasted a second!

Kruze snatched the arrowhead-thing off his sash and slapped it onto Sunny’s neck. She gave a sort of breathless squeak and collapsed, writhing. At the same moment, with his off-hoof, he aimed his weapon straight at Evee’s back and fired!

But Caper was faster. Spreading his wings in classic Pegasus threat display, he vaulted for Kruze! The gun gave a warbling discharge, there was a burst of green light and Caper fell to the deck. Bitter smoke rose from his body.

Merry wrenched her earpiece out and winged it at the Klingons face, missing and almost popping Jerry with it! She balled her fists and roared at the Klingon warrior between them!

“Oi! Come git sum, ya bleedin’ whanker!”

The Klingon dithered for a fatal fraction of a second, then turned his attention toward her… sealing his fate.

Starfleet hoof-to-hoof combat training teaches all sorts of fighting techniques. All of them can be extremely effective, but take a lot of training to master. But, sometimes, you just can’t go wrong with the basics! When the Klingon turned, Jerry took a half-step and rocketed his hoof straight up between his foes splayed legs, obviously in the hope that Klingon physiology was similar to Pony. As the Klingons gonads apparently bounced off his larynx, he gave a whistling grunt. With his attention elsewhere, Merry came up with a roundhouse right to the jaw that hit him like a runaway ore cart! His head, but not the rest of him, spun back to look at Jerry with bugged, unseeing eyes. From where I stood I heard the crack when, as Merry would say, she ‘Broke ‘is bloody neck’!

I saw all this in incredible detail because, as I saw my Beloved collapse, my senses went into Time Warp Drive. Everything I described happened at practically the same instant. The Klingons weren’t slouches. They were good, damn good! They’d been doing this for a while that much was certain… but this time they were trying to do it to us!

Augment troopers (Yes, we have soldiers! As noted earlier, it’s not all rainbows and cupcakes Out There!) undergo specialized gene therapies to further ramp up their already Augmented reflexes, perceptions, and strength. Certain other people like the Klingons, so the rumors go, dope their troops with combat chemicals to do the same thing. (Colonel Greens soldiers during the Eugenics Wars were famous for the various drugs they took to do everything and anything. …Really! How 'Optimal' was that?) The goal is to achieve an almost supernatural level of focus and perception during close combat allowing them to move with lightning speeds and strike harder for more effect. I never underwent the therapies or took the drugs… I was a scientist, after all… but I did take a lot of personal combat training. Sometimes, under the right conditions, it’s possible for the brain to enter the same state all on its own. …Seeing Sunny hit the deck like so much dirty laundry was all it took.

I was halfway to Kruze by the time Caper collapsed. My eyes were, by then locked onto the Klingons… as his were to mine.

I considered vaulting over Sunny’s body, but I wanted to draw him farther away from her. Whatever he did to my Love I wanted to make sure he didn’t do anything more. I circled around toward his free hand. The farther he had to move his gun the more chance that he would miss me… though I doubted that a pro like Kruze would miss at this range. That was ok. That disruptor pistol didn’t dismember Caper. I could take anything but a direct head shot. The loss of a limb wouldn’t stop me from killing him. Amber Rose’s words echoed through my head. All I needed to do was get one hoof on him and he was dead! …And Kruze knew it!

Not that he was afraid, mind you. Our eyes locked and he just knew what he was up against. The fatality of a True Warrior possessed him and he made his stand, drawing from his hip a more ornate and wicked-looking blade than his troops from his hip. The outcome of any battle is never certain… and dying is part of the job of any soldier anyway… He drew the blade, swung the gun to bear on me… and snarled a laugh, showing his bright bare fangs!

He got two shots off. The first one singed my mane. I smelled it as I felt the pain bloom in my ear. I was watching all of him by then, not just his gun hand. He knew how big I was and was trying for that debilitating head shot. He saw how fast I was and realized that he would only get two. He saw how I moved and just knew that It Wasn’t Gonna Happen. But he tried anyway, what Warrior would not?

The second shot missed entirely and fried one of the displays that ringed the Bridge. I saw how fast he could move and he’d never get another shot off I couldn’t dodge even at this range!

A gun is made for killing at a distance. Within arm’s reach it’s only value is as a bludgeon, painful but not fatal unless he got real lucky and put out one of my eyes. Firing it while grappling could be suicidal but Kruze was a realist. He brought the gun in close and low, aiming for my guts. Even if he hit me he’d catch some of the backblast. Small price to pay. Like I said, he was a realist!

He half-turned, the blade feinting toward my nearest arm then veering toward my face. I turned my body a few degrees and deflected the thrust the same instant my far hoof stabbed his gun wrist, killing the nerve cluster there and breaking more than a few bones judging from what I felt. The gun flew away and I brought a knee up to slam into his abdomen. Not that I had any qualms about giving somepony a shot to the jewels… there aren’t any rules in a fight to the death… but a ruptured liver or twisted bowel would hurt a lot more. Contrary to popular belief, it can be harder to hit such a relatively small (Sorry, bucks!) target, and I didn’t want him wrapped around my leg in reflex. Anyway, I’m not a warrior. For what he did to Sunny and Caper I wanted him to hurt!

It another axiom of personal combat that multiple fighters aren’t always as effective as one. A fighting team is only as good as its least trained component. The same instant I rid Kruze of his gun and his tiddly-winks career I gained two more allies.

Merry is a bar brawler. Lots of enthusiasm… but not a lot of strategy. Jerry has helpful intentions but is, after all, a rather small Pony even by Terran standards. Neither of them were trained in coordinated close combat.

I intended to body-block Kruze, get a hold of that sword arm and start breaking bones one extremity at a time. I figure I needed about six seconds. Kruze would never touch me, I was certain. Unless he’d swallowed an armed photon grenade just before the fight I was home free…

Merry slugged him where a Pony’s kidney would be on his left side. Jerry jumped onto Kruze’s back and twined his arms under the Klingons to get him in a full-Nelson. It didn’t turn out that way, though.

Klingons don’t carry kidneys there, it seems. Oh, that punch hurt because Kruze snarled and slashed her arm. Merry hissed and bounced back, feinting with her hooves and striving to set the Klingon up for another powerhouse punch.

Kruze, much stronger and far better trained that poor Jerry, only had to flex his muscles to break Jerry’s hold. He twisted his torso and stepped back, flinging the hapless Chief Engineer right at me!

I ducked, letting Jerry roll over the top of me. I hoped he wouldn’t land on Sunny! I swept a leg out and spun, hoping to knock Kruze off his hooves. I planned to continue the spin and cave in his ribcage with a well-placed kick or two. But Kruze danced back then darted forward in during the split-second my admittedly broad back was to him, knife poised for the killing blow...

But Merry got there first! She put her head down and bum-rushed the Klingon. The thrust that would have gone between my ribs got knocked aside and the blade plunged into my left hip as he dodged just enough to let Merry plow into the Bridge railing.

In the action-adventure vids, the victim always screams in agony as the blade goes in. The reality of the matter, though, is quite different. The blade felt cold as it stabbed me, so sharp that it passed through me like I was so much cloud vapor! I knew it went deep, I could feel it slice and part tissue. But it didn’t hurt… just yet! My left leg collapsed as he had the luck (Good or bad, depending on your point of view!) to sever the nerve cluster there. That was ok. I still had another leg and both my arms still worked. I only had to get one hoof on him to settle this Once And For All. For his part, all Kruze had to do was stay out of arms reach, dancing around me to dart in and finish me off as the opportunity presented itself.

I flipped onto my back, trying to wrench that blade out of his hand but luck was still with Kruze for the moment. The blade slid out, the outgoing slice not doing me much good. The warm gush as it came free told me that he’d opened an artery, damnit!

But Merry came through in the end! As Kruze’s face lit up in a victorious smile I saw Merry’s arms wrap around him, pinning the blade to his side. She hefted the Klingon into the air and body-slammed him face down onto the deck next to me! She rolled off and bounced to her hooves, preparing to spread his thinking stuff all over the Bridge with a kick to the temple. But I wanted Kruze!

I pulled myself onto the Klingons back. Unless he was an Augment he wasn’t going anywhere! I grabbed the wrist that held the blade and squeezed with everything I had. I didn’t break those bones, I crushed them! The blade fell from his hand and I felt a cold wave of dizziness wash over me as I began to bleed out. My mental disciplines did what they could to control the damage. The Mare in my head was stabbing buttons like a mad pony as display after display dimmed and darkened. I put one hoof on the back of his neck and reached for his muzzle with the other. He bit me, fighting right to the end, but I didn’t care. He could eat as many fingers as he wanted for his last meal. My only regret was that he wouldn’t live long enough to choke on them!

To my Augmented strength there was hardly any resistance. I wrenched his head around two hundred degrees. I felt the snap more than I heard it. I would like to have looked into his eyes when he died… but he was dead by the time I got to that point. His whole body bucked but I held him down until he subsided into random twitching.

I rolled off him, fully intending to crawl to Sunny, but I stopped… you’ll pardon the expression… dead (Well, dying, at any rate!) when I saw one of The Strangest Things I Ever Saw In My Life.

The last Klingon was backed up against the Main Viewer. In the twenty or so seconds it had taken the fight he never advance any farther. No crewpony was near him. Gun and blade were up, but defensively as he absolutely cowered at bay under the threat of… Tyllae!

The little Fey weaved and ducked just out of arms reach, her wings whizzing at warp speed as her forelegs windmilled at the Klingon warrior!

“Go ‘way! Get backa from came from! Get, get, get! Nasty, ugly Kling-gone no good! Go ‘way from Her-mees! Go home an don’t hurt any of Tyllae’s friends! Scat, scat, scat! Shoo!” She trilled.

From under her wings came a constant rain of… stuff! Teeny little pinks bursts of light that, judging from the Klingons reaction, must have stung, puffs of something like smoke that made the Klingon gag, sudden little gusts of winds buffeted his face, and I swear that I saw a cookie bounce off his nose!

The Klingon recoiled from the little thing before him, his face a picture of loathing and… fear! I shook my head, wondering how much of what I was seeing was just blood loss to the brain. But the Mare in my head even paused her Damage Control duties to stare in disbelief!

It wasn’t just me. Merry gripped the railing, halting in the process of vaulting over it and just gaped.

“Wot… the… Bloody… Buckin’… ‘Ell?”

Just then the Klingon screwed up his courage enough to take a couple of half-hearted swipes at the flitting Fey who darted back a foot or two, outraged!

“No, no, no! No using nasty iron on Faery! Bad, Bad, BAD!”

With that, Tyllae decided to up the weirdness up another notch!

She spun in place and burst into rosy-pink radiance bright enough to make us all cover our eyes! When I could look again, Tyllae had… transformed!

What hung in the air before the Klingon was still recognizably Tyllae, in shape anyway. For the little Fey had gotten bigger by about fifty percent and she was completely consumed in a glowing, pink radiance. When she opened her eyes they were sun-yellow and sun-bright. Shades of pink billowed around her like plasma flames and she shone like what I imagined one of the legendary Phoenix birds would. The light she cast seemed to hurt the Klingon. At the very least, he didn’t seem to enjoy it. His lips moved, repeating something again and again that I couldn’t catch. Was he praying?

Tyllae hovered before him, beautiful and more than a little scary, as if she had somehow opened a door into another realm… revealing, perhaps, an aspect of Faerykind that never gets shone in our world. Something they shared or used against their ancient foes. I’d read something about the Fey in Sunny’s literature and the beginning of an ancient poem hummed in my head.

‘Up the airy Mountain,

Down by the Holy Oak.

We dare not go a-hunting,

For fear of The Little Folk.’

…I wondered what kind of place Equestria was when Ponies and Faerie-folk shared the world.

This was an aspect of Tyllae that would take some getting used to! I know that I never looked at her the same way again. I could never be afraid of her but I knew that I’d never have to be afraid for her ever again! Just let some bureaucrat try to put her in a cage!

Tyllae spread her wings, regal in her terrible beauty, and keened an echoing, eldritch cry that… somehow I had no doubt… was heard aboard the Switchblade. The Klingon, out of sheer desperation, aimed his gun at the motionless, hovering Fey…

“Look out, Tilly!” Merry cried. “Duck!”

I held my peace. I doubt that I had enough strength to manage more than a croak just then, anyway. Jerry scrambled to his hooves and froze in place, riveted by the scene. Amazingly enough, I heard Evee still fighting the Hermes! Phased-balefire relays clicked and the distant twanging of the torpedo firing almost overwhelmed by the sound of the ship thrumming with power as it twisted and hurled itself around in space. I resolved that, if I lived, she was gonna get a commendation. I shook my head again, irritated that my mind was wandering. I crawled to where Sunny lay, wondering why the Bridge was so dark… and cold!

Daddy… and Amber Rose… were going to be so mad!

I looked up as the Klingon fired once, twice, thrice. The glow of the shots were utterly lost against the light that was Tyllae. Wherever those bolts went they never came near her. She lowered her head and her eyes blazed at him. She folded her wings and arrowed straight into him… like a hawk… and it was over.

The light went away and there our familiar little Fey was bouncing up on down on the dead Klingons back!

“Take that an that an that! Tyllae said to go ‘way! Tyllae said so!” She flitted a foot or so above the corpse, spread her hind legs, lifted her tail, and… so help me… peed on him!

I couldn’t look any more. It was too preposterous. I crept to where Sunny lay and saw that she was shuddering and writhing. She was still alive and being tormented by the thing Kruze put on her!

I batted it away, the momentary agony of the touch cutting straight through the fog and giving me just enough energy to grab Sunny up and shake her.

Sunny heaved a sobbing breath and seemed about on the verge of fainting in relief… but she was alive! Bless Celestia and Luna both! I didn’t care about anything else any more. I held her close. She was so alive… and so warm that I didn’t mind that everything was going so dark.

Sorry, Daddy…

Blessed warmth cut through the cold and pushed it most of the way back. I opened my eyes. I wanted to go back to sleep but a familiar, piping voice was clamoring for my attention. Tyllae, perched on my right breast, nuzzled my muzzle.

“Starry gonna be ok now! Tyllae an Sunny made all better! Starry is very, very, very brave but Starry should wait an let Tyllae fight nasty Kling-gones inna future! Tyllae fix ’em good!” She huggled my nose. “Don’t scare Tyllae like that ever, ever, ever again!”

I tried to sit up and nearly fainted. I tried to speak but only made a slurring noise. I marshaled all the concentration I could and managed to say, “The Captain! He was shot!”

Tyllae patted my nose with a reassuring hoof. “Cappy Caper gonna be ok, too! Sunny saved! Tyllae gotta go an see if any other Ponies need help! Starry should stay still! Still hurt! Don’t make more work for little Tyllae or Sunny! Don’t make Tyllae spank!” The little Fey giggled and planted a quick smooch. Then, with an audible ‘pop’, she was gone! I blinked and let my head flop back down onto the deck. I was cold! I wished I had a thermal blanket or at least a jacket. I was aware I was lying in a puddle of what used to be my nice, warm blood and I was absurdly irritated that it felt so chilly on me…

I listened to the activity around me.

“Shields are coming online. We’ll have Warp Capability in less than half a minute!” Jerry called out.

“Oi! Security says the Klingon boarding parties ‘ave retreated or bin contained. Damage Control reports minor damage in Engineerin’ and to ships systems. Ya ask me, Oy think it was a good, ol’-fashioned ‘smash n’ grab raid. Well, looks loik we did all th’ smashin’ an’ they did none of the grabbin’, eh? Bloody Klingons!” I looked out of the top of my head to see Merry back at her station, Kruze’s bloodstained sash wrapped around her forearm.

There was movement near me and I looked to see Caper being loaded onto an antigrav gurney by a pair of Sunny’s Medical Unicorns. Reaching out, I tapped Sunny ankle to get her attention.

“Sunny! A little help here? I need to get to my station!”

She glanced down in surprise.

“Th’ Hell ye say! What’re ye even doin’ awake? Yer goin’ nowhere but Sickbay on the next stretcher!”

I did The Augment Thing and pulled myself together by force of will and stubbornness.

“The Hell you say! I may be a quart low and have a bum leg but I’m Not Leaving This Bridge as long as I can think! Now gimme a boost into my chair or I’ll haul myself there. I’ll do less damage with your help. Sunny, there’s no time to debate this! I’ve got a job to do!” I kept my voice as level as I could and put every ounce of power I could spare into my eyes as our gazes locked.

Sunny chewed the inside of her cheek for a second. She knew how stubborn I could be once I dug my hooves in! She tried to reason with me.

“Look, yer more than just a quart low, Missy! N’ that nerve damage needs morena wee, quick healin’ spell kin do fer ye…”

“I’m an Augment, damnit!” I cut her off. “The fact we’re having this conversation should show you what I’m capable of! Now are you going to help me or not?”

“I dinna care if yer Khan hisself! Yer in no condition…”

“Wrong answer!” I heaved myself into sitting position then grabbed onto the wall and proceeded to haul myself upright, my blood-soaked slacks clinging coldly to me. The Bridge darkened and bright specks danced in my vision as I got up on my good leg. I kept myself distracted by calling out to Evee. “How’re we doing, Helm?”

Dimly I saw Evee sneak a look my way. She spared a look at Sunny, who only glared, before answering. “I’m clinging to his rear hemisphere. If we try to run he’ll get his forward guns on us. If he can bring them to bear we’re toast. I’ve got one phaber (Short for ‘phased-balefire’ .) bank reserved for those drone missiles. Our remaining bank and torpedo are mauling him. His phasers are mauling us. One of us is going to have to try to disengage and soon! If I can get another crack at that number four shield I’ve got him. I’m sure of it!” She got back to her board and the Bridge thrummed as ghostly tugs of inertia pulled us minutely this way and that as the Hermes darted around the Klingon ship and maneuvered for The Killing Shot.

I nodded, the motion making everything spin for just a moment.

“We’ll just have to see what we can do about that!” I measured the distance to my station and figured I could do it in five easy hops. The Mare in my mind pursed her lips and looked doubtful…

I held my breath and hopped. Luna, that hurt! I stifled a gasp of pain by pure willpower and refused to sag or even stop. As the pretty, bright lights danced in my eyes and made the Bridge get even dimmer I made ready for hop number two…

Turned out that some of those bright lights were from Sunny’s horn, thank Celestia! I was wafted to my chair in just a second and I hurried to twist around so I could keep my bad leg straight as I landed.

“Thanks, Sunny! Get Caper down to Sickbay, I’ll be down as soon as this is over. Put-a-cupcake-in-my-eye!” I gave her a grateful look. “Oh, hey! Gimme one of those thermal blankets? Life Support must’ve taken a hit or something.”

Sunny was on me in an instant draping the flimsy, silvery thing over my shoulder with a professional twitch.

“Yer impossible, ye ken tha?” She fussed. “I’ll hae look round t’ see how bad things are n’ be right back, situation permittin’. Dinna die in meantime ‘r I’ll never speak t’ ye agin!” She gave a quick, fierce kiss on the side of my head before pulling the blanket up in a hood. “Dinna make me send th’ Bug after ye!”

“Yeah, yeah! Scoot, Toots!” I made a mock swat at her Cutie Mark as she sprang away to hustle Caper into the turbolift… and immediately regretted it. Only the fact that I had the other hoof grabbing my station in a death grip kept me from doing a face-plant on the deck.

I hauled myself back to my display and concentrated the fireflies in my eyes away…

Switchblade was looking more like a nail file at the moment. But a nail file was more than enough to take us out just at the moment. Well, I could fix that!

“Jerry! Keep one balefire bank and the torpedo charged! I’m going to need everything else you can spare from propulsion into Sensory. After I make this play shunt it back to Helm”

“Aye-aye, Commander!” I didn’t need to see him to know Jerry bent over his board, routing all the power the ship had to where we needed it.

“Stand by, Evee!”

“Ready and waiting, Ma’am.” …I wished I sounded that cool under stress!

Our sensors give us the ability to actively scan and gather information across light-years of space. All told, they take more power than a phased-balefire bank. The difference being is that their signals go out on a far different set of frequencies. Even in standard situations it’s positively suicidal to be floating in front of the Main Sensor Dish when its being used. Safer to dip yourself in old-style gasoline and dance in front of an old-style microwave oven with the door open while wearing a cutlery necklace!

What makes a Scout-class vessel so dangerous in combat is that we have so much more power available to our sensors. The Romulans found that out… and now the Klingons would! Power enough to scan the Event Horizon of a singularity at three light-years distance was going to be brought to bear at a marginally shielded target at seven thousand kilometers range on a tight a beam as I could manage with all the power I could supercharge it with. With any luck every electronic device onboard that ship would flop over on its back and die! At the very least we’d wipe that data off all their control systems and it would just be possible that we’d wipe their computer core as well. (Good luck rebooting that, Kyr!) We’d have to repair and realign our Sensors afterwards but it would be a small price to pay…

The power levels on my board rose and peaked!

“That’s all there is, Commander!” Jerry called out.

“Here we go, Ponies!” I piggybacked my scanning onto the Navigational array (So I could an idea of what happened!) and sent Celestia’s Own Sensor Probe into the Switchblade!

To the naked eye there was no outward sign that anything was amiss, other than the fact that the Switchblade had begun to tumble as its guidance controls failed. The information on my readouts was much more entertaining! Power levels across the spectrum wavered and fell, many of them disappearing at once! The Klingon shields fell, the balefire that clawed at them falling on the naked green-gray hull instead. I was showing spontaneous energy discharges in their Engineering areas. No doubt containment fields were collapsing to add to their distress. I couldn’t bring myself to feel much empathy just then.

“Evee? …Give Captain Capers compliments to Captain Cur, won’t you?” I tried to keep the gloating out of my voice, I really did!

Evee triggered the phased-balefire banks. “Done and,” She fired out photon torpedo. “Done!”

On the Main Viewer the twin scarlet beams of our phasers dug twin glowing orange trenches in the Switchblades Engineering Section. The green Witchfire spread out from the strikes and ravaged the hull plates spreading like the magic wildfire it was. An instant later the bright blue-white blob of our photon torpedo struck between them and the viewer blanked out the sudden glare. When the image restored itself there was a gaping crater one-third the span of the hull sparking with balefire, plasma, and loose antimatter…

I dropped my eyes to my display. Given what I’d just done to our sensors it was no surprise that I couldn’t get much. This much was apparent, though. Not one third of the Switchblades crew were alive. The survivors were concentrated in the bulb and narrow boom of the forward section.

“A palpable hit, indeed.” Observed Evee, thoughtfully.

Merry snorted. “Coulda saved ourselves a lot of trouble and just beamed ol’ Tilly in there, eh? Prolly ‘ad the ‘ole lot surrenderin’ and beggin’ fer mercy boi now!”

“What was up with all that?” Evee demanded. “I only caught it out of the corner of my eye but it looked weird!”

“Focus, Ponies!” I raised my voice because everything around me was getting disturbingly quiet. “There’s loose antimatter out there. The only thing holding that ship together is the coating of fused Klingons inside it. Move us off to a safe distance but try to keep in transporter range to pick up any survivors. Merry! Keep an ear peeled for any distress call from Kyr or anypony else. Advise Little Rock…” I frowned and rubbed between my eyes as things began to spin away into blackness again. I took a breath and continued. “ … Advise Little Rock that we’ll take them in with the cargo transporters and he can stun every one of them as they materialize if he wants.” I gathered my blanket around me like a shawl and realized with a start that I was shivering again. “I do not want another armed Klingon on this ship ever again!”

Aww, whatcher worried ‘bout, Boss Lady?” Merry scoffed. “ ‘Em Klingons ain’t so much now we got the measure of ‘em! Eh, eh?”

I would have told her that I had about two billion corpuscles lying on the deck backed up by a very cantankerous, outraged leg that would disagree with her… but I just didn’t have the energy just then.

When I tried to speak to Jerry all that came out was a weak squeak so I cleared my voice and tried again. “Jerry? Can our shields take it if their Warp Core goes?” I peered through the fog at him.

“Keep our number two shield toward them… I’m specifically reinforcing it… and we should be ok.” He looked at me, on the verge of asking one question then switching to another.

“Are our sensors going to be able to detect their life pods, Commander? That little trick had to pretty much take them offline.”

I smiled weakly in his direction. “Sorry ‘bout that, Jer!” The Mare in my head blinked sleepily as I said that on the Bridge! “But seriously, did Life Support take a hit? It’s colder than a wild Tellarites ass in an ice mine here!” I pulled the thermal blanket tighter and tried to blink the cobwebs out of my eyes.

Jerry had to speak twice before I heard him.

“Commander?”

“Hm?” I tried to see where he was speaking from. It felt like I’d had another good slug of uskebaugh. Damned if I could remember where I got it from, though…

“Uh, Commander…? You don’t look so good!”

“I don’t?” I asked innocently and in all seriousness.

“Too roight! Ya either got the Mother of all Monthlies or ya opened up yer wound again.” I swung my head over to where Merry sat, barely discernible through the dark haze. I blinked, confused.

“Oh…”

“Now you just siddown an’ shut up an Oi’ll ‘ave Medical ‘ere in a blink.” She worked her board for a second. “Oi! Medical Team to the Bridge. The Boss Lady’s down!”

I realized that I could feel something warm running down my leg again. I wanted to curl myself around it and go to sleep. I slouched in my chair and nearly dropped off. I came to with a start as Merry stepped up to me.

“Roight! Now tell ya what. Let’s git ya settled down for a noice little kip ‘ere on the deck all cozy n’ comfy-like. Ere! A couple-three o’ you lot c’mere n’ gimme a hoof! Oi don’t think Oi kin shift ‘er meself… Whoa, Nelly!”

For I tried to stand up to go to Sickbay. Seemed to be a reasonable thing to do at the moment. I was just trying to be helpful! The pain that lanced through me woke me up a little but wasn’t nearly as bad as before. I blinked in surprise and turned toward the Mare in my head for an explanation… but the little bitch was gone, leaving an ‘Called in Dead’ sign in her chair!

“Ere! Settle down, Starry-girl! Who ya lookin’ for? It’s all apples, we gotcha!” Merry draped one of my arms over her shoulder while Jerry and Guiding Star got under the other and they all heaved. I revived enough to squirm around in protest when Evee’s voice cut through the murk!

“They’re breaking up!”

On the Main Viewer the Klingon ship shuddered. There was a flare of light where the two sections connected. The Engineering Section spun away, fragmenting. Rippling explosions, each one more powerful than the one preceding it, wracked the structure as the boom-and-bulb section seemed to jet away on a controlled vector…

We all nearly fell over as Jerry ducked out from under and dashed for his station. The screen flared into blinding white again then faded into white noise and static. Several systems on the Bridge beeped and warbled in protest as a wave of radiation and charged particles… all that remained of a Klingon Warship… washed over the Hermes. The whole ship gave a lurch, no worse than our Time Warp Five transition, then settled down.

“There go the sensors!” Jerry called out. “Shield reinforcement is gone… Number Two shield is stable. …Ships systems a-ok.”

“Splash one Klingon ship.” Evee commented.

The turbolift opened and a Medical Team headed by Dr. Willowbark hustled in with another antigrav stretcher. Each one of the team carried a Medical kit.

“Make way there! Make way! Commander, Doctor Cross’s compliments and you are getting on this stretcher come Hell or High Water if I have to sedate you to do it!” He took the situation in at a glance and broke open his kit!

“Good Celestia! …You!” He pointed at Merry, “Put her down here and advise Sickbay that I’m starting a full-bore plasma drip at once. Somepony get me a vitals scan on the tricorder, stat! Get those clothes open and get a protoplaser to seal that wound now! Move it, Ponies!” One team member broke out a Medical tricorder and played it over me while Merry laid me into the stretcher. Another other produced a cutter and slashed my slacks open. Together they all started in on all the embarrassing ignominies that all Medical Ponies inflict on their patients. I summoned all my reserves for one last burst of lucidity.

“Jerry?” I laid back and closed my eyes, concentrating on keeping my voice audible. “You have the Conn. Get those sensors back up. Everypony else…” I winced as the protoplaser started its work. “… You all did a great job! Thanks”

Willowbark made a disgusted sound and slipped a needle into my arm, dropping the plasma bag onto my stomach and everything just Went Away…

Author's Note

Nostalgic readers may recognize my play on words with the title of this chapter. John Colicos would have made a great Captain Kyr! Perceptive ones may have picked up on the fact that the Klingons are already anthropomorphized. The far-sighted Goddesses were obviously making sure Their Little Ponies would be up to the task when it came time to meet their 'nieghbors'! Fans who are a fan of sci-fi wargaming will notice that I was a big fan of STAR FLEET BATTLES. The stats for the F-5 Frigate come from memory. I hope I got them right!

This chapter highlights the difference in the way of thinking between the wartime Starfleet and the more idealistic one that is emerging. Caper and Starry are a lot more pragmatic in their dealings with the Klingons while Sunny, exemplifying the attitude or more understanding Ponies back home, offers an olive branch. Like Guiding Star said, though, "Talking reason to somepony if fine.... provided they're willing to listen!"

Finally, I'd like to offer my thanks and gratitude to everyone who's taken time to read this. I NEVER thought I'd ever gotten 157 views on this! Wow. Just...wow!

Chapter Twenty Two- After Action

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

AFTER-ACTION

I was glad of the blanket when I came to. The soul-chilling cold was gone but I was still cooler than I cared to be… but at least I woke up! I laid there and counted my blessings for a bit before squirming the thermal blanket up to cover my shoulders with an annoyed grumping sound.

When I opened my eyes I saw that I was surrounded by white curtains on three sides. Behind me was the wall display of a bio-bed, the heart rate monitor muted and flashing away steadily. I yawned and stretched carefully and was grateful not to feel anything worse than a stiffness in my wounded thigh. Twenty-second Century Medical Science was a truly wonderful thing!

Unlike my Dear Sunny I come awake in an instant. The muted quality of the lights told me that it was late… or very early… and the small bit of warmth snuggled into my cleavage told me that I wasn’t sleeping alone. Big surprise! I picked up the blanket and peeked inside.

Our Favorite Faery sat there with her legs curled up beneath her with her head stretched out on the curve of my left breast. I was starkers, of course. Well, I guess my uniform was a write-off… but you’d think somepony would have at least given me a gown at least! Sunny’s doing, no doubt…

One bright, black eye opened as I stirred and Tyllae smiled at me before yawning. The little mite got up and stretched fore and aft before trotting up to nuzzle my muzzle.

“Hi-hii, Starry!” She whispered. “Put blankie back down an stay warm! Tyllae can tell Starry is still cold!” She pointed with a forehoof imperiously, the very picture (In miniature) of yet another Medical Tyrant.

“You don’t have to tell me twice, ‘Doctor Squirt‘!” I kept my voice down. “Is anypony else up? Where’s Sunny?”

“Tyllae is Doctor Sunny’s’ Number One Medical Assistant! Sunny said so! Yep, yep, yep!” The little Fey beamed proudly, then pointed beyond the curtain. “Sunny inna office, working!” She put a little hoof up to her muzzle and pitched her voice even lower. “But Sunny is really sleeping! Bad, bad, bad Kling-gone hurt Sunny more than Sunny says. Sunny did not heal self until Sunny healed everypony else. Sunny was very, very, very tired but didn’t go to bed. Sunny wants to stay close ‘til Starry wakes up. Sunny says Sunny could not sleep good without Starry being there, anyway!”

“You didn’t seem to be having a problem, I noticed!” I gave the Fey a poke in the ribs that made her giggle and cocked my ears to pick up the soft, familiar snore from next door.

“Tyllae was mon-eye-tore-ing Starry’s condition! Good little Tyllae lissen to heartie-beats an feel how warm Starry was while Sunny sleep. Tyllae is a very, very, very good Assistant! Tyllae only took a kitty-nap after Tyllae was sure Starry oakey-dokes! … ‘Sides, Tyllae was pooped after helping heal so many of Tyllae’s friends!”

A chill beyond the Earth-standard environment took me…

“How many were hurt, Tyllae? … Did we lose anypony?”
` Tyllae shook her head vigorously enough to set her antennae bouncing and I sagged in relief. “Nopony died! Starry came closest! Three ponies got all shot like Cappy Caper, poor Dazzle got all cut like Starry an lost her left hoof, but she still killed nasty Kling-gone no-good!”

“WHAT?”

“Is oakey-dokes!” The Little Mite assured me, “Sunny was able to put back on! Dazzle all better real, real, real soon! Tyllae was very, very, very worried at first. Tyllae does not know how to re-grow Pony parts! Not like apple tree! Sunny did ‘sir-jer-ree’ an fixit all up. Is what Sunny was doing when Starry fell down! Tyllae is very, very, very impressed with how good Sunny is at healing! Dazzle inna nex bed, sssh! Dazzle must rest, Sunny!”

I let my head flop down onto the hard Medical pillow and thanked Celestia for little Faeries and Alicorn horns!

“Oh, an poor Stimmy-bolt tried to jump down ontoppa Kling-gone who hurt poor Dazzle an missed an broke his arm! All better now! Stimmy-bolt was very, very, very embarrassed but Tyllae told him not to be. Tyllae said he was very, very, very brave… just unlucky!”

I couldn’t help but chuckle, thinking about the young buck. I imagine he jumped down off the high-bay in Engineering, one of the very few elevated places in the whole of the ship that was big enough to have an exposed second floor. Well, I probably would have done the same thing. Good job he didn’t break his neck!

A rumbling whisper came from beyond the curtain to my left…

“Is good ting am not vindictive Pony or might have angry words with bigmouth Executive Officer! Very rude to wake up everypony in Sickbay, da?”

“ I haven’t been asleep for a while now!” Dazzle’s voice came from my right. “Glad to hear you up and about, Commander! I’ve been hearing all sorts of horror stories about you. I was beginning to get worried!”

“Bah!” Caper snorted. “Would take guillotine to take Good Commander down, not some eentsy-teensy Klingon pocketknife! Eh, Starry-pushka?”

At the cost of baring more of my upper torso than I was comfortable with I was just able to reach out and slide the curtain between Caper and myself away far enough to see him sitting up in his bed, bare-chested with a large, glittering dressing on his shoulder. The old Pegasus positively beamed at me!

“Good Morning, Starry-bubula!” He said. “Is good to see you again!” His eyes twinkled. “…Though I have never seen so much of you before!” He added, playfully before turning his attention to his hooves under the blanket trying hard for my sake not to grin!

I snatched my blanket up so high that my own hooves popped out into the chilly air. Damn it!

“Feh!” He waved a dismissive hoof. “You have nothing have not seen before… on smaller chassis, that is!” He stuck his tongue in his cheek and rolled his eyes while I tried, unsuccessfully, to keep warm and modest at the same time. I wanted so much to give him a dirty look, but I was just so happy to see him conscious that I settled for just sticking my tongue out at the old buck!

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it, Bub! Somepony took my clothes when I wasn‘t looking!”

Caper nodded thoughtfully before sneaking a glance to make sure I was decent.

“Do not think old heart could take seeing more! Oi! Am not as young as used to be! Still… was very stimulating! Almost as good a coffee first thing in morning!”

Tyllae had flitted up to take the other curtain in her teeth and back-fluttered to drag it back to reveal Dazzle lying on her side with her good hoof propping her head up and her bandaged one draped over her hip. Oh, sure! She had a gown!

“Hay! What’s going on over there? You two doing some sort of new physical therapy I haven’t heard about?”

Caper leaned ‘way forward to see around me.

“Ah! Is good Security is here! I tink maybe Commander Starry-Eyes is trying to stage coup to remove Captain by giving heart attack! You can handle Captain’s light work and haul Cossack to Brig, da?”

“I’ll bop her one with this thing!” She raised her bandaged hoof. “It’s numb as a block of wood, anyhow.” She pursed her lips and considered me. “… Might have to wallop her more than once, though! Good thing she’s still feeble!”

“I’ll show you how ‘feeble’ I am! Oh, you two are so gonna get it…!”

“ What’s all this bloody noise, then?” Sunny stood in the doorway of her office with her arms crossed, her mane in a shambles, her uniform wrinkled, and generally looking like a hundred yards of bad tunneling. The familiar too-early-in-the-morning glare in her bleary eyes blazed and she never looked more lovely!

“Hi, Honey!” I smiled.

“Heya, Doc!” Dazzle waved.

‘Good Morning, Good Doctor!” Said Caper, cordially.

…Tyllae zipped for cover behind the curtains!

“ ‘Honey’ my Cutie Mark!” She stomped a hoof! “Is it no too much t’ ask th’ lot o’ ye remember yer in a bloody Recovery Ward n’ not at a bleedin’ slumber party? Or did ye even give a though t’ other Ponies in th’ other room tryin’ t’ sleep?”

A series of voices chimed in from the other room…

“We’re ok in here, Doc!”

“Keep it down, willya? I’m trying to win my money back from Stimbolt!”

“Shut up and deal!”

‘HOOSH!” Sunny thundered! “Or it’ll be in me t’ prescribe twenty-four hour Romulan enemas fer all ye hooligans! N’ you!” She shook a finger at where Tyllae was cowering. “What kind o’ Assistant are ye? Did I no say they were all t’ be restin’ instead o’ carryin’ on like so many foals on a field trip?” The rest of the Third Watch Medical Staff gathered in the doorways but stopped short of coming directly into the line of fire!

The little mite flitted up and hovered in front of My Darling looking hangdog and waving her forehooves!

“Not Tyllae’s fault! Everypony sleepy-sleeping last time Tyllae looked! ‘Sides, Tyllae was keeping special watch on poor Starry mosta time! Tyllae can’t be everywhere at once! An Tyllae is very, very, very tired, too! Tyllae is sorry, Sunny! Don’t be all mad at Tyllae ‘cause poor, little Tyllae tooka little, little, little nap!” She looked so woebegone that, nude or not, I wanted to get up and fetch Sunny a kick to the shins!

But the wrath evaporated. Sunny’s bark is far, far worse than her bite!

“Ah ken, Ah ken!” She flapped a hoof and cooed to the distraught Faery. “Dinna ye be mindin’ me, Tyllae-ma-dear! C’mere!” She reached out and gathered the grateful little Fey in for a quick nuzzle. “Yer still me number-one Assistant ‘n that’s a fact! ’ Tis this lot I’m upset wi’!” She frowned at us, then broke into a huge yawn. When she finished she suddenly looked as worn out as she felt. “What’s th’ bloody time, anyway?”

“Brekkist time!” Tyllae said with Utmost Confidence. (Tyllae couldn’t read a chronometer, of course. As far as she was concerned there were only five times that counted; Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Snack-time, and Bed!)

I looked up to the time display on the bio-bed.

“It’s five hundred thirty-six hours, Hon. By the time you check us over and discharge us we should just be able to make Breakfast.”

Sunny quirked a dangerous eyebrow at me.

“Oh? N’ is tha yer professional Medical Opinion, is it? Ye look through yer tellyscope n’ leave the Docterin’ up t’ me, Miss I’m-too-tough-’t-leave-me-post! Feh! If we had more Ponies like ye, we’d hae fewer Ponies like ye!” She grumped and stifled another, even huger yawn before fixing all of us with a critical look.

“Well… th’ Good Captain I’ll certify as fit fer duty. If he promises no to do anythin’ stressful for a day or two, that is!”

Caper raised a hoof in a pledge. “Will not be flying through hoops on Recreation Deck any time soon! Now where is shirt?” He threw his blanket down to his ankles revealing that he was still wearing his pants. …Of course he was!

“In th’ bloody recycler, o’ course! Where else do ye ken?” Sunny snapped at him then turned her gaze to Dazzle who carefully sat up one-hoofed and swung her bare legs over the side of the bed expectantly.

Sunny crossed to her and carefully held her bandaged hoof. The tips of the fingers stuck out of it as far as the last knuckle. She stroked the end of her index finger with her own…

“Like a block o’ wood, ye say? Can ye feel that?”

“It was like wood when I woke up. Now they all feel kinda zingy… like my hand fell asleep and is just coming back to life.”

Sunny fussed with the dressing and scrutinized her fingers. “Aye n’ yer no far wrong fer thinkin’ yon! Good job ye fetched yer hand wi’ ye when ye got here…”

“Waitaminnet!” I said. “You carried your own severed hand into Sickbay under your own power?”

Dazzle looked at me like I’d suddenly grown a trunk!

“Well I couldn’t just leave it there on the deck, now could I?”

I cocked a hairy eye at Doctor Bligh. “I’m getting gigged for being macho but it’s ok for her to swagger in to get body parts sewn on? I’m sensing some sort of double standard here!”

“Hay!” Dazzle said, defensively. “I was able to put a tourniquet on my wound! Sickbay wasn’t three minutes away tops.” She shrugged. “All part of the Security job, Commander. …Though I wish they’d issue us some sort of body armor for situations like this! Am I ok to go, Doc?”

Sunny gave her hoof a last inspection. “Hmmm… Go see Nurse Green Tea t’ get dressing changed. Have her take a wee look, if she thinks ye’ll be ok have her put a splint on it n’ get it bandaged up tight again. Th’ nerve’s regeneratin’ nicely but they’re still thinner than a shysters promise. Ye can go back on light… light…duty, mind ye! If ye pick up anythin’ heavier than a stylus I’ll be havin’ yer horn for a coat hook n‘ I‘ll kit ye out wi‘ a brass hook as a lesson t‘ all would-be Doctors! Ye ken? If ye feel any pain coom back here at once. If not, then coom back at end o’ shift, duty, watch or whatever ye bloody call it and we’ll get ye started on some physical therapy. Now g’wan wi’ ye!”

“Read you loud and clear, Doc!” Dazzle offered Sunny her good hoof and they shook. “Hey, thanks Doc. For everything!” She leaned in closer and added, rolling an eye my way. “I don’t care what the Commander says, you’re all right!” She hustled off the bio-bed with a hop and went to see the rest of the Medical staff.

Sunny turned toward me and crossed her arms…

“You’re a veritable Holy Terror down here, aren’t you?” I said. “Luna in lavender socks! If I ran my Department like this I’d get lynched! Can I get some clothes now? I’ve had enough sleep for a week and I’m ready to get back to work!” I gave her my best winning smile…. Which faltered under her steady look. “…Um, please?”

“Ye’re goin’ nowhere, Lassie!” She stabbed a finger at the readout behind me. “Yer core temperature is a degree n’ a half doon n’ th’ only reason I dinna gi’ ye another transfusion is that yer bloody Augmentation is a-bringin’ yer blood count up so fast I didna want t’ drown ye in yer own juices! Now while I’m morena wee bit satisfied wi’ th’ way yer Femoral Artery is comin’ along, th’ nerve bundle in yer bloody great leg…”

“…Then you do think my legs are too big, don’t you?”

She squinted at me so fiercely that I shut up at once!

“As I was bloody saying…! Yer nerve tissue is different enough that it’s provin’ difficult t’ regenerate them as quick as I’d like. Och! Dinna gi’ me yon stricken look! Ye’ll keep yer leg n’ ‘twill work just fine but ye must stay put fer at least twenty hours! That means lyin’ still! No bloody runnin’ round, climbin’ ladders, no exercizin’ on yon bloody grav plate, and ESPICIALLY no takin’ on th’ bloody Klingon Deep Space Fleet in bloody single combat to th’ bloody death!”

She loomed over me and, so help me, I cringed and tugged the blanket up to my neck while her lavender eyes blazed!

“But… it was only one Klingon. And I had help! …I thought he killed you, Sunny! I couldn’t let him just walk away after that!”

“Oh, aye! There were three bloody great Klingons each wi’ a bloody hand cannon n’ a braw, great butcher knife as I recall!” She squeezed her eyes shut and turned away, hugging herself tightly. I could see she was trembling…

Caper had come back from the replicator, resplendent in a fresh uniform with Dazzle in tow. They both stopped short. Caper touched the Security Crewpony’s shoulder and hooked his thumb silently back toward the other ward. They exited quietly while Tyllae settled on Sunny’s shoulder and worked herself under her mane to nuzzle her ear.

I reached out and stroked her leg. “Sunny? Honey? I can understand why you’re angry with me and I’m sorry. …I did what I had to do. …For the Ship, for you! Goddesses! I thought you were dead! No way was that Klingon ship gonna get the chance to do that to anypony again!”

Sunny whirled around and grabbed me up in a hug that I felt, Augmentation or not! She sobbed quietly into my mane.

“Starry, Starry! I was so scairt! As scairt as when th’ Bombs went off whin I was a wee filly! Ye’re just like Daddy, a-puttin’ yerself in harm’s way like that! Yer Starry Eyes ‘r gwin t’ git ye killed! I lost Momma, I nearly lost Daddy a hundred times, and I nearly a-lost ye! What kind o’ Universe is it we live in that th’ Ponies ye love have to risk their lives like that? What were Ponies then tha‘ we‘re like this now?”

I’m not a pithy Pony, normally, but I had an answer that always worked for me when I asked the same question.

“Sunny… a few Ponies have to walk in harm’s way so the rest never have to know fear. Even Celestia had guards! We’re out here so all your nieces and nephews… my Daddy and Uncles and Aunts can live without a relative care. That’s why there’s a Starfleet, Honey. It’s not the Equestria of the stories… but it’s all we have nowadays.” I patted her rump. “Your Solar Cross is what my Starry Eyes look up to, Honey! Don’t cry!”

She did, anyway… and so did I. Well, it was a release!

Tyllae, smooshed between our manes, wriggled out and flitted up to hug Sunny’s nose.

“Go ‘head an cry, Sunny! Crying helps! Just don’t cry forever! Things always get better! Tyllae knows! Tyllae’s whole world went floowie an here Tyllae is all safe an sound with both Sunny an Starry! Summer always comes no matter how long Winter lasts! Trust Tyllae! Remember how Sunny told Tyllae even Nightmare Moon didn’t last forever? Just like that! Brave Ponies, not Faeries, not Dragons, not even Celestia, could make things all better inna end. Tyllae thinks Star-fleet is just like that! Just wait an see! Tyllae is right, right, right! If Sunny can’t be brave alla time Starry an Tyllae always be here to help just like Sunny an Starry helped Tyllae!” The little Fey gave her an elfin kiss and sketched another ‘x’ across her teeny chest, the ultimate Faery sincerity apparently. …Well, sincere is sincere no matter how its expressed!

I gave my Love another hug. “Keep the Faith, Sunny! You’re the beacon that always draws my Starry Eyes back! Always!”

Sunny wiped at her eyes and gave Tyllae a delicate kiss.

“Right, then!” She gathered herself up gave me the kiss I’d been waiting for all morning!

“Just dinna do that t’ me again! My heart nearly froze whin Willowbark brought ye in n’ I saw yer condition. ‘T’was Coventry all over agin! You just lie doon n’ I’ll get ye ‘nother thermal blanket. N’ I’ll see what I can do ‘bout settin’ the bloody heat up a wee bit in here. Really! Would it hurt some Starfleet Engineerin’ Boffin t’ be puttin’ a simple thermostat here ‘n there?” She ran her fingers through her mane and tried to smooth out her rumpled uniform. “But first I ken I hae t’ go n’ apologize fer bein’ a right bloody Harpy t’ everypony first thing in th’ mornin’.” She wiped her eyes again and studied her reflection in the bio-bed display.

“Och! I’m a bloody mess!” She muttered.

“You’re dead on your hooves,” I conceded, “But you’re still lovely, Honey!”

“I’m no as dead on me hooves as ye were twelve hours past, Missy!” She retorted, then bent to give me another sweet kiss. “Cease yer flatterin’! I’ll fetch ye another blanket straightaway!”

She did, too! Before I knew it, she draped it over me expertly and tucked me in like a foal before squaring her shoulders and going out into the outer ward to deliver her apologies.

Tyllae fluttered in for a soft landing between my breasts.

“Sunny gonna be oakey-dokes now, Starry! Sunny was just scared for Starry. Yep, yep, yep! Don‘t worry!”

Author's Note

A nice, short one this time as we leave Starry to Sunny's Tender Mercies! More revelations to come in the next chapter! Tune in next time, same Pony-Time, same Pony-Channel! ;)

Chapter Twenty Three- Prehistory, Faery-Style

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

PRE-HISTORY, FAERY STYLE

I settled back and tucked both hooves behind my head and began to get blessedly warmer. I wasn’t a bit sleepy so I hit the little tyke up with a question that had been nagging at me for a while now.

“Tyllae? On the Bridge when you were facing that Klingon… what happened? What did you do and how for Pony’s sake did you do it, anyway?”

Tyllae folded her legs beneath her and snuggled down into the silvered fabric, getting comfy.

“Oh, that?” She waved a nonchalant little hoof. “Tyllae has magic, but magic that scares off mousies an spiders an deerses does not do much good on nasty, big, smelly Kling-gone no-goods! Tyllae tried very, very, very hard! Tyllae warned Kling-gone to go ‘way but no-good Kling-gone didn’t listen to little Tyllae! Nope, nope, nope! Tyllae had to go to Other Side to use much, much, much stronger magic!” She nodded as if that just explained everything!

“Oooh, kayy… The other side of what? I come from Equestris, remember, and we never had Faeries… or much in the way of magic, for that matter!”

Tyllae furrowed her little brow, trying to find the words to make it clear.

“Long, long, long time ago Faeries lived inna world like Sunny an Starry do. Faeries moved into Other Side of the world. After long, long, long while Faeries came back into this side. Other side is very, very, very nice but Faeries remember how nice thissa side is, too. Faeries remembered Sun an Moon an flowers an trees an grass so Faeries came back. But Faeries know how to be in both Sides at once. Faeries like stay thissa side, but know how to reach Other Side when need to.” She illustrated her point by continually switching her fore hooves back and forth. “On Other Side is very, very, very strong magic Faeries can go back an use on thissa side when have to, see?” She blinked up at me helpfully. “Dragons came from Other Side but stayed on thissa one. Faeries are smarter an go back and forth! Yep, yep, yep! That way Faeries don’t need to be so big an fierce an mean an fight alla time. Much, much, much more fun to play an help Ponies. Tyllae thinks Ponies an Faeries related ‘waaay back! Pegasuses an Unicorns are older than Earthy-Ponies. Alicornies like Celestia an Luna older than that. Sooner or later will live long enough to figure out how to get to Other Side. Faeries will be there to welcome an show how to have fun, too!”

While I laid there and tried to digest this Tyllae looked thoughtful.

“Tyllae thinks alla magic is on Other Side. Faeries an others bring in onna this one. Only a little bit. Too much would make things messy like when Discord came in. Too mucha magic too mucha time. Tried to make This Side lika Other one but didn’t work. Poor Discord! Shoulda stayed on Other Side till learned more about how This Side likes to be! …Once ‘ponna time two ponies talked to Tyllae. Wanted to know alla bout Faeries! Tyllae was much, much, much younger then an not quite as smart as now. (I remember quirking an eyebrow at that comment, but kept quiet!) Tyllae hopes Tyllae was helpful! One was a Unicorn with a white beard and wore a very, very, very pretty cloak with all sortsa stars an bells onnit! Tyllae thinks that Pony was called ‘Star-Swirly’, or something like that. Tyllae remembers Star-Swirly getting all confoozled after talking with Tyllae… (Imagine that!)

The other Pony was much, much, much more fun! Was an Earthy-Pony like Starry! Well, not ezackly since this Pony had four legs. Starry knows what Tyllae means! Oooh! Tyllae remembers! That Pony was a Doctor, too! But not like Sunny! A very, very, very smart Pony! Told little Tyllae lotsa, lotsa, lotsa stories about all kinda funny peoples! Now who was that Pony…?” Tyllae scritched her head with a hoof, trying to remember. I only half-paid attention, trying to work this out in my own mind while the Mare in my head sat looking as ‘confoozled’ as Star-Swirly… whoever the heck he was!

Tyllae gave up trying to remember and carried on. “Anywho, Doctor-Pony wore a pretty, red bow-tie an he traveled in a magic blue box. Faeries knew it was magic ‘cause it was smaller onna outside than onna inside. Tyllae never went inside, though. All fulla metal an machinies! But it was a nice magic box! When Doctor was running around the box would talk to Tyllae an other Faeries. Magic box would listen to Faeries for hours an hours. Magic box liked Faeries! Even gave Faeries nice things to eat an drink! Tyllae really, really, really liked the blueberry muffins! Yum! Ditzy liked muffins a whole, whole, whole lot!

Doctor had a Pegasus that traveled with named Ditzy-Doo. But Doctor always called Ditzy ’Miss Doo’, Tyllae does not know why. Doctor was very, very, very in love with Ditzy. Ditzy was a very, very, very good an gentle Pegasus with a gray coat like Cappy Caper anna yellow mane lika sunflower! Had yellow eyes, too! But something was wrong with one of Ditzy’s poor eyes an it sometimes pointed inna wrong direction. But Faeries did not mind! Ditzy was always very, very, very nice an Faeries made sure nothing bad ever happened to Ditzy even when Doctor would get in trouble.” Tyllae frowned. “Doctor was always getting in trouble! Was oakey-dokes, though! Doctor always helped people no matter what! Faeries liked that about Doctor.” She yawned and laid her tiny head on my left breast again. “Tyllae remembers that Doctor said he would come back an visit again. Tyllae must have missed that. Tyllae would like to see Doctor an Ditzy again…”

With that, the little Fey sighed and began to drift off to sleep leaving me not much better off than I was before!

“Hay! Wake up!” I wriggled my upper torso to shake the little confoozle-artist awake. “You’re saying that Faeries lived in the world so long that they evolved into something else, right?”

“Starry! Tyllae is still pooped!” She grumped. “An Tyllae said no fair using words Tyllae does not unnerstand! Wassa ‘eee-volved’ ?”

“It means ‘changed through time’ . Foals change into adults as they get older, animals who move to different places change their appearance over time to…” I almost said ‘adapt’, but changed words to avoid another elfin protest. “…be able to live better in their new surroundings.”

“ ‘Course Faeries did! Everything changes in time, Starry! Faeries know that! Mountains become hills, forests become deserts, shores become plains. All Magic of Time! Faeries remember how little lizards became birdies while other lizards became not-lizards. Lands change shape alla time and living things change with! Ponies don’t live long enough yet to see it happen in lifetime. Sooner or later they will, just like Faeries did. Now let poor, pooped Tyllae go ‘sleep!”

“No way, kiddo! I’m wide awake and I want to hear more! You’re telling me that at one time Faeries looked different, that they used to be… well, mortal?”

Tyllae picked her head up again wearily, not unlike Sunny first thing in the morning. “Starry is lucky Tyllae loves Starry!” She yawned again. “Yes, yes, yes! Faeries used to be Big like Ponies. Like Tyllae said, everything changes. Lizards lost scalies an got nice, warm bodies an became not-lizards. Not-lizards spread everywhere! All sortsa shapes an sizes! Faeries happen somewhere in there, too. Many, many, many kindsa animals. Every so often some learn how to be smart. Faeries did! Some not-lizards, too. Became Peoples an not animals any more. Had to be smart not to get eaten by lizards an not-lizards. Peoples come together to be safe. Learn to grow an gather nice, yummy food! Peoples learn to make houses an build things, just like Ponies do! Is just lika tree, Starry! First groupa Peoples issa seed. Little seed grow into big, big, big trees! But trees die, Starry! Faerie tree almost died. Not-lizard trees did. All gone now! Poor not-lizards!

Things change alla time! Sometimes warmer, sometimes colder. Air get better, get worse. Sickness come, sickness go. Fire come outa ground and land change shape. Big, big, big Ice come, then go. Discord liked, but was never happy that change did not happen fast enough. Shoulda been more patient like good Faeries!

Faeries make an do all sortsa things. Some good, some very, very, very bad. Still, Faerie-Tree keep growing. Faeries learn from mistakes. Faeries learn how to live long, long, long time. Then learn how to live forever an not get old an sick, nope, nope, nope!
Not-lizards go away an animals get nice, soft fur. Some nice Furries become Peoples an plant own Trees. This time Faeries try an help other Trees grow. Faeries come an teach an try to make Furries unnerstand. But Faeries teach too much or not enough and alla Trees die time an time again. Faeries were very, very, very sad. Faeries only wanted to make other Peoples happy like Faeries are. After long, long, long time Faeries stop. Faeries learn a little wisdom an let other Trees grow onna own. Oaks can’t teach Walnuts how to be Oaks, Starry!

Then, one day, Faeries find Other Side an Magic! At first Faeries very, very, very excited! Faeries wanna change alla world! Make weather all nice an warm, make all sortsa nice, yummy foods! Enough to feed all Peoples! No more being sick! No more being scared! No more have to watch other Trees die ever, ever, ever again! Was gonna be all so good forever, Starry!

But Faeries got stupid again! Faeries let Magic loose onna this Side an Magic changes things on This Side much, much, much faster than onna Other Side! Faeries meant good but found out that, onna This Side, Magic didn’t care if good or bad! Peoples… an some Faeries, too… got all greedy an used Magic to do wrong things! Try make alla Trees grow like Bad Ones wanted no matter who got hurt! Keep alla other Trees in shadow of their Tree all stunted an twisted! Bad Trees wanted their Trees to be biggest an to phooey with all others. Dragons come over to This Side an planted greedy Trees. Discord came, too, an had all sortsa fun! Even some animals found way to use Magic to make stronger, meaner, and fiercer! This is how nasty Manticores an Hydras an Griffons happen, Starry! All Faeries fault!” Tyllae shook her head and sniffled.

“Faeries very, very, very sorry and did what could to seal off Other Side. But sooo much Magic got in Faeries knew it would take long, long, looonngg time… even as Faeries reckon… to go back to normal. Soon almost alla Trees die. Faeries try an protect little Saplings but all but very, very, very few live! Finally Faeries used Magic of Other Side to fight back. Faeries learned to get mean!

Sunny told Tyllae ‘bout balefire bombs an guns and phaser-thingies, but that was all just Dannylion fluff nex to Dark Magic! Faerie Tree very old by then with lotsa, lotsa, lotsa branches! Elfs, Pixies, Sylphs, Dwarfs, all kindsa Faery-Folk go makea big, big, big fight for long, long, long time! Faery-Folk very, very, very brave but Bad Ones very, very, very strong! An they learned how to be mean lots sooner than Faeries!

One little Tree Faeries tried to keep safe was Pony Tree an biggest, bestest branch on Pony Tree were the Alicornies! Alicornies were very, very, very good an learn how to use Magic, not like Faeries do but in own, good way. When Faeries almost all too pooped to keep fighting Good Alicornies come in an help poor, tired Faeries!

Discord was Last Big Enemy. Faeries not happy to fight. Faeries know that Discord not evil, not really. Discord never unnerstand not every people liked Chaos! …Star-Swirly said that there is Chaos in Faery-Folk. Tyllae just remembered that! Anywho… good, good, good Celestia an Luna made Big Magic alla own an used it to stop Discord by turning all into stone. Faeries were glad Discord not killed. … Though poor Tyllae knows now that being a stachoo is no fun, not one little bit! Nope, nope, nope! Poor Discord! Tyllae was very, very, very happy to hear that Discord was let go inna end. Even Discord can learn, too! Nice wins in end alla time!

… But Discord is all gone away, too, Sunny? Maybe Discord is with Celestia an Luna? Tyllae hopes so! Discord really, really, really likes Celestia!

After Big Fight was finally over most Faery-Folk went back onna Other Side but come back onna This Side sometime. This Side still Home an everypeoples lika visit Home, right? Faeries like Tyllae still stay to help Pony-Tree grow. Don’t want Pony-Tree to die. Tyllae thinks there are some very, very, very nice flowers onna Pony-Tree! Yep, yep, yep indeedy!”

The little Fey yawned hugely and long, paddling her forelegs a little with the force of it!

“Can Tyllae go sleep now, Sunny? Tyllae is sooper-dooper pooped an wants to take a nap before brekkist!”

I disengaged my hands and scooped the little tyke up and slipped her under the blankets to cuddle up in her Number One Favorite sleeping spot.

“Here you go, Squirt! Thanks for the story! I’m… not entirely sure I believe it but thanks, anyway! Sleep tight! I’ll let you know when the food gets here.”

She murmured something in agreement but was already asleep by the time I let the blankets back down. I carefully put my hooves back under my head and laid back to think about this.

The Mare in my head looked up from her display and eyed me speculatively…

If I understood her correctly, Faeries were a species that evolved on Earth. They survived so long that they ascended, apparently, to another plane of being. There seemed, anecdotally at least, a precedent on other worlds. Civilizations grow from simple beginnings and grow more and more complex. They reach a critical threshold and become… less so. In the end all that is important are the simple things. Eating, playing, having fun in the sunshine. Some go beyond, though…

I shook my mental head. It’s more metaphysics than archaeology! Species are born, mature, and grow old. Some get senile, even! … How much of this is just Faery Folklore? Are Augments just a twig on the Pony-Tree? Were ‘not-lizards’ Dinosaurs? And how did she know about the Evolutionary progression from Reptile to Dinosaur to Bird?

Tyllae said there were all sorts of other Trees. Pre-historic Civilizations? Ponies have been around a few thousand years on a three-and-a-half billion year old planet. … How long does it take achieve sentience, anyway? The Science I knew made my head whirl with all the potential variables! The chemistry of Life is a commonplace thing in the Universe. Hundreds of worlds in space bore life. More than a few of them harbored intelligent life, some friendly, others not. How many ‘Trees’ sprang up and withered in the march of time? The Mare in my head tapped the reference to the Magic Blue Box and raised a quizzical eyebrow at me that I flatly ignored! The Universe is already weird enough, thank you!

I contemplated the extra-warm spot under the blankets. I was Earth Pony enough to want tangible proof. Tyllae’s tale was appealing and it would be nice to be able to just accept and go with it. …But, like so many things about the little Fey, there were more questions involved than answers! Tyllae had the potential to upset the applecart of not just Pony history but prehistory as well!

I slipped a finger under the covers and stroked the little head. I turned the thoughts over in my mind, ‘Did you fight in the Big Fight, little Tyllae? Did you step into the Other Side one fateful, terrible day and open your blazing eyes and unfurl your blazing wings to do battle for the sake of Ponies? Did you keen your weird, majestic cry when you learned to kill for the first time?’

She stirred a little in her sleep. She never opened her eyes when she sleepily admonished me. “Silly Starry! Tyllae is not that old! Tyllae’s Mommy taught Tyllae how to fight like Mommy did inna Big Fight! Now let pooped little Tyllae sleep!” She snuggled her head closer against me and shook her mane in irritation.

I paused, understandably surprised! Then I fetched the teensy telepath a little swat on the rump with a forefinger.

“Hay! It’s considered polite to tell somepony when you’re reading their mind, you little sneak!”

The Mare in my head looked up in alarm as the sleepy giggle came over her speakers! “Tyllae can’t help it when Starry is so close! Stop thinking at Tyllae an let Tyllae nap, Starry! Please, please, please?”

“Okay! Okay! Sheesh!” I tucked the blankets around the little mite and just gave up. Enough Was Enough!

Author's Note

One of my favorite lines from 'Doctor Who' was from the OK Corral episode in which a suspicious Wyatt Earp (Or was it Doc Holiday?) asks the Timelord. "WHO did you say you are?" To which the Doctor simply said, "Quite!" That's funny, I don't care who you are!

What's an alternate-history sci-fan Pony story without Doctor Hooves? Trust a Faery to describe the TARDIS as being smaller on the outside than on the inside!

It seemed to make sense to me that Faeries are a very, very old species. In the Prism Universe they occurred about 120 million years ago in what we would call the Cretaceous Period. In the TOS tradition of 'superior', exotic species they are in possession of powers and abilities beyond the ken of mere mortals. But, unlike the Melkot, the Thasians, or the Organians, it behooved (Equestrian pun?) me to illustrate just HOW they got to that point... and why. Darn that human need to rationalize things! Who was it who said that 'Man is not a rational creature. He is a rationalizing creature!'?

Chapter Twenty Four- The Non-recovery ward

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

THE NON-RECOVERY WARD

It’s one of the ironies of the Universe that a Hospital is no place to rest. Sunny came with breakfast and sat with Tyllae and me throughout the meal looking so drooping and wilted that I chased her away to take Tyllae back to our cabin and get some sleep! She was so out of it that I actually got her to do it! (A Gold Star day for me!)

I fully intended to just relax with a padd and review some of the Astronomical data we’d been pulling in for the last week and maybe access my files and do some work on the research paper I’d been working on for the last year or so. For a break I planned to send a message to Daddy to let him know when we were arriving. Then, for a treat at the end of the day, I thought I would get in some plain old recreational reading. I’d gotten hooked on one of Sunny’s old fantasy novels and was curious to see how The Fellowship was faring…

It didn’t work out that way, though...

Jerry stopped by around mid-morning to tell me that the bulk of the Sensor repairs were done. We put our heads together about how the forward section of the Switchblade made that suspiciously controlled exit from the wreck of the Secondary Hull.

“You ask me, it was an evacuation!” He said. “Our own saucer section is made to detach from the rest of the ship in the event of catastrophe. Why shouldn’t the Klingons do the same?”

“… It might explain why the shielding was so much stronger in the forward hemisphere.” I said, thoughtfully. “Maybe all their Command and Controls assets are in there. Damn! I wish I had more time to get a better detailed scan! Oh, well. They won’t be going anywhere fast at sublight to get fixed up again, at least.”

“I wish I were an Augment! That Klingon tossed me off like a rag doll!” Jerry laughed ruefully and rubbed his shoulder.

“Well, it’s just like what they say on Equestris…”

“What’s that?”

“‘Tough luck, Buck!’”

“They have a saying back on Earth, too! ‘ Blow it out your Augmented…’”

“Ah, Jerry! Is good to see you here!” Caper stuck his head ‘round the one curtain I’d left up. “Was wondering how are repairs going.”

“All shipshape, Captain! We’re on course and on time for Equestris. I’ll fully realign the Sensors once we’re in orbit where we can better access the Main Dish. I just stopped in to give Starry a heads-up and see how she was doing.” He vacated the chair next to the bed and Caper slid into it smoothly. “I should be going. Stay off that leg, Starry!”

“I’m only using to go to the bathroom. Be damned if I’m using a bedpan while I’m conscious and all four limbs are attached!”

“Which raises question of how one uses bedpan when unconscious!” Caper nodded sagely then concluded, “Must be Augment thing, da? Good Morning, Chief Engineer!”

Jerry gave my good hoof a pat and sped off while the older Pegasus leaned forward and settled his wings.

“So… everything hokay with you and Good Doctor, Starry-pushka? Could not help but notice earlier she was… leetle bit upset, eh?”

I pulled myself into a sitting position. After Sunny left I’d gotten a gown from the Nurse, and a robe!

“She’s fine, Caper. She spent the War on a Hospital Ship near Vulcan. She’s never been in a Space Battle before, let alone hoof-to-hoof combat! Seeing me get mussed up just rattled her a little. You have to admit it didn’t affect her professional performance, she did a bang-up job on Dazzle’s hoof!” I rolled my eyes away and added, “She’s also not much of a Morning Pony.”

“That much I noticed! Oi! If were me, would be drinking ouzo in morning instead of coffee! For all our sakes, Starry-pushka, curb reckless behavior in future!”

I gave the Old Poop a hairy eyebrow! “Hah! I didn’t do anything you wouldn’t have done if you had another quarter-second!”

“Is Captain’s prerogative to be reckless when situation calls for!” Caper waved a dismissive hoof. “’Hah‘, yourself!”

“… And it became my prerogative when you hit the deck like a pile of old laundry! Hah and hah!”

“Was all part of carefully calculated Master Plan to lull Klingon into false sense of security! If took one step closer would have reared up like Manticore to tear off his leg and beat him to death with it. Brash Commander Starry-pushka rushed in to steal Captain’s thunder is all!” He shook his head, waggled a finger at me and tsked. “But am nothing if not magnanimous Pony! So I forgive youthful exuberance. Even went so far as to say nice things about you in Log. See? Captain is absolute soul of discretion, da?” Caper’s grey eyes twinkled as he ground to a theatrical finish!

I listened patiently before quirking an eyebrow at him.

“What you are is a…”

“But Leetle Pooka was big surprise, nyet?” Caper cut me off from saying something that would get me court-martialed on another ship. “Must have happened when Captain’s back was cunningly turned waiting to ambush Klingon Cossack!”

All the kidding left his eyes as he got serious. “Sickbay examined bodies. Klingon Leetle Pooka killed had no mark on body. No internal injuries. Just dead like turned-off flashlight. Alive one second then, hoop-a dead the next.” He hunkered in closer and dropped his voice some as he eyed me shrewdly.

“Have talked with Bridge Crew already. Now I want to know what you saw, Starry-bubula. How does cutesy Leetle Pooka go from having hard time wrestling cookies to dropping beeg Klingon warrior like nothing?”

I sighed. “Better go get us something to drink, Caper. This’ll take a minute!”

“Da, da!” He hustled off to the replicator to get tea and coffee. Then I gave him everything I just found out about Faeries! When I was finally done he looked thoughtful as he rubbed his jaw and grunted softly. He fixed me with a stern eye.

“… Must ask, Commander. I know you will give honest answer.” He hunkered back in again. “In light of new knowledge is Leetle Pooka, in your opinion, danger to ship and crew? If we get her mad will we all end up very tidy corpses?”

I’d been dreading that question ever since I woke up and I took care to choose my words…

“I don’t believe so, Caper. Tyllae is not by nature violent or vindictive. She didn’t even get mad when Sunny snuck up on her for a blood sample, though she wasn’t happy about it! Her idea of revenge would be more along the lines of a prank, like putting salt in your coffee or something. Her kind regard our kind benevolently, and have done so for ages. Even when faced with the Klingon she tried everything in her arsenal before breaking out the Big Magic Guns, up to and including trying to warn him off!”

Caper relaxed visibly. He’d come to the same conclusions. Bless his old heart, he just wanted to hear it from me, too.

“Putting salt in Captain’s coffee would be bad enough, da? A Brig offence! … But what Brig would hold Leetle Pooka? Leetle Pooka is like very powerful child… Nyet! Is wrong.” He waggled a negative hoof. “Leetle Pooka is not child. Leetle Pooka is honest and uncomplicated and wise enough in strange-to-Pony way of thinking. Maybe she understands us better than we do, nyet?” He broke off for a second and wrapped his arms around himself, wincing just a little as his healing wound pained him before shaking his old head. “No, Leetle Pooka is not danger to anypony here. Do me beeg favor, Starry-Pushka. Send Faery to see me. She will be allowed to come to Bridge in future… for only leetle social calls! After all, if had acted on warning sooner Klingons would never had chance to beam in!” He glanced at the chronometer. “Must go now. So far have stayed one step ahead of well-meaning Yoemare with hoof-full of padds and want to keep it that way rest of morning!” He rose and stretched arms, legs, and wings. Looking around to see if anypony was about, he leaned in and administered a quick, paternal kiss to the top of my head before pausing to shake an admonishing finger at me.

“Be good, Starry-Pushka! …And thank you for keeping My Ponies safe! Will come back after Watch, hokay?”

There were tears in my eyes but I kept them in check for the sake of Capers dignity. Yeah.

“Hokay! Oh, there’s just one thing I need you to do!” I motioned him in.

“Da?”

When he got close enough I gathered the old Pegasus up in a hug, ruffling his feathers maybe… but he didn’t seem to mind!

After that I did manage to get a few minutes to myself. I was poring over the readouts from the Astrometrics sensors, trying to puzzle out why two separate stars in our target sector would be five and ten light-years out of their respective charted positions! Civilian Traders didn’t have our sensors, granted, but it didn’t seem possible they couldn’t have been off that much!

A theatrical whisper interrupted me!

“Oy! Starry! Ya awake er what?”

I sighed quietly. “Come on in, Merry!”

The Communications Officer tromped in and gave me a punch on the shoulder before throwing herself into the chair with her best all-around grin!

“Oy tol’ Skipper me war wound was ouchin’ me a bit so Oy could nip down ta see howyerdoin’. E’s a bonzer sort, ain’t ‘e? Eh, eh?”

“He’s the best.” I agreed. “Is your arm hurting? I remember you got slashed…”

“Nah!” She shot her sleeve up to show me. There wasn’t even a scar by now. “Roight as rain! Got ’urt more when Oy busted the other one in the chops. Bleedin’ fangs! Nurse ‘ad ta disinfect me ‘oof before she patched me up. Did a roight proper job of it, too! See?” She stuck her powerhouse right hoof under my nose and waggled her fingers. The skin and fur over her knuckles were smooth and unblemished. Sunny’s Medical Ponies do great work!

She flopped back into her seat, her arms draped over the back of the chair.

“So!” She said with a horsy grin. “You ok? Kin Oy getcha anythin’?”

“Nope! I’m just fine. I’m only killing time till the nerves in my leg heal up. I’ll be back on the job tomorrow, easy-peasy.” I assured her.

“Roight! Never say die, say ‘kill’! Eh, eh? Crike, but you shore gave me a proper scare yesterday! Never saw nopony lose that much ketchup and live, much less git up and command a ship! Gotta be sumpin’ t’all that Augmentation bizness after all! Eh, eh? Ya served that Klingon wog out roight and proper, too! Good job, that!” Merry beamed at me proudly!

“You didn’t do so badly, yourself, as I recall!”

Merry scoffed. “Nah! Oy jus’ got in a good ‘it is all! Granite jaw, but a glass neck. Eh, eh? ‘E weren’t nuthin’ special! ‘At bitty lil’ knoyfe sure weren’t gonna save ‘im none! (The Mare in my head wondered what Merry considered a big knife!) Oy’m jus’ sorry Oy weren’t more ‘elp with that Kruze feller. Woulda loiked ta twisted ‘is ‘ead clean off meself fer what ‘e did to the Doc, an’ ‘at’s a fact!” She lost most of her grin, becoming apologetic, even hangdog. “Fact is Oy reckon Oy shoulda left ‘im alone. When Oy was thinkin’ on it afterward Oy realized you’da ‘ad ‘im cold without a-gitten’ so much as a scratch! … Sorry ‘bout that, Starry, Oy really am!”

“It’s all right, Merry.” I waggled my eyebrows and added, “No worries, Mate!” We both giggled, which seemed to ease Merry’s conscience quite a bit because she threw herself back into her seat with a decidedly relieved expression!

“Roight then! Oy’m roight ‘appy ta ‘ear ya say that! Would’ve ‘ated ta ‘ave ya ‘old it agin’ me. Don’t reckon Oy could take ya in a straight foight! Eh? Eh? Tell ya what! Nex’ time Oy’ll jus’ ‘ang back till ya give me the ol’ ‘igh-sign an’ Oy’ll come bustin’ in then! Eh, eh?”

“’Next time’? You must be out of your, ah, flippin’ mind, Filly!”

If there was anypony even trying to sleep in the ward Merry’s guffaw would’ve jolted them out of any pretense!

“Yeah! Me ol’ Mum always said Oy weren’t quite roight in th’ ol noggin! Figgered Starfleet’d be a good influence on me, bless ‘er ol‘ ‘eart! Well Oy moight not be th’ sharpest tack in th’ carpet, but Oy knew enuf not ta git in ol’ Tilly’s way! That lil’ Sheila’s a proper, bleedin’ terror when ‘er dander’s up! Liked ta peed myself when she pulled ‘at switcheroo on the Bridge! Glad she’s on our side! Eh, eh? Oughta take ‘er wit me nex’ Shore Leave! We’d ‘ave a right proper pub crawl, then! ‘Specially we foind ourselves a Klingon pub! Eh? Eh? Would’n be two scorched stones left standin’ ‘gainst one another boy th’ time it was all done, Oy bet! You tell ‘er nex’ time ya see ‘er that Oi’m gonna get ‘er a ‘ole crate a cookies fer doin’ such a bonzer job! …Oh, ‘eck! Oy gotta be gettin’ on back! “Ere! Ya got a message fer yer Dad just send it along upstairs. Oy‘ll make sure me people git it sent out, straightaway! No worries!”

She bounced out of her chair and came round the foot of my bed, flipping the blanket off my hooves before I could even squawk!

“So ‘ow we doin’ ere? Hmmm… Crike! Lookit them gunboats! ‘Ere! Ya feel that?” She fluttered her fingers along the bottom of my hoof, looking absurdly pleased with herself as I squirmed and tried to stifle the giggles!

“See! Yer gonna be just apples! No worries!”

“What are you doing?! She‘s not to move that leg!” Doctor Willowbark stuck his head around the door frame and glared at Merry who hurried to tuck the blankets back around my hooves!

“Roight! Gotta scarper! Seeya, Boss-Lady! Oi’ll find me own way out, Doc! Cheer-o!”

Willowbark fussed around for a while, making me lie still while he used the bio-bed to get a full readout of my well-being. After that he took the blankets off and wanted to physically check my leg himself. I bared as much of my leg as I wanted… from the knee down… and he felt his way down the length.

“Hmm… your leg is warm all over so the circulation is fine. Can you feel this? …And this? … How about now?” He’d taken a stylus from his lab coat pocket and poked my leg here and there. He worked in this fashion all the way down and drew the stylus lightly across the surface behind the hard bottom of my hoof. I worked my face to suppress a smile but I couldn’t help but wriggle a little.

“Yes. It tickles. That’s already been established.” I said flatly.

“Don’t get upset, Commander. Anypony but an…” He paused, obviously about to say ‘Augment’. “…With anypony else there would have been a real chance of damaging the healing nerves. You’re coming along amazingly well. Not surprising in your case, isn’t it?” He smiled thinly with expressionless eyes as he tapped my knee to provoke a reflex. …I suppressed the temptation to ‘accidentally’ kick him in the guts.

“What about ‘my case’ , Doctor? Specifically, I mean.” I fixed him with my eyes, just daring him to say it!

“I’m glad that you’re healing so well, Commander, that’s all.” He said, utterly professional and scrupulously courteous. … But he made it a point to carefully disinfect his hooves after touching me. “Please don’t exert yourself any more than necessary and call me if you feel any pain or numbness. Lunch will be along soon.” He gave me another thin smile and went back to whatever he was doing.

I watched him leave. The temperature in Sickbay seemed to drop about five degrees… Two. Hundred. Twenty. Years. It’d been that long since the Eugenics Wars, but some Ponies never want to forget. A part of me wanted to stalk after him, grab him by the lapels and explain to him that my ancestors left Earth because they didn’t want to fight anypony because of the way they were born. They were trying to prove an Ideal no less profound, in their eyes, than the Federation that came later. They weren’t out to conquer the world, they wanted to build one of their own, damnit, without forcing anypony to accept their views!

Let me guess! He lost distant relatives to Khan and Greene and Thorson! Well, boo-hoo! I lost two Grandparents, three Aunts, four Uncles and over a dozen assorted Cousins to a mixed bag of assorted Orions, Rigellians, Tellarites, and to Equestris itself! (Not to mention all the thousands of Augment Cousins back on Earth!) In a population less than one thousandth of Earths those losses are that much more magnified, let me tell you! … But you don’t see me on the warpath for the sake of it! If I had a puny, little body or a horn on my head and/or a pair of wings I’d be acceptable, is that it?

I let myself seethe for a little while before I was distracted by an almost inaudible ‘pop’! (Score one for Augmented ears, Willowbark!) Tyllae settled into my lap and yawned.

“Wassa matter, Starry? Wassa wrong?” Our Favorite Fey patted my tummy and yawned again, looking up at me with troubled eyes.

“What are you doing up, kiddo? I thought you were pooped?” I patted her tiny head with a forefinger.

“Tyllae still is!” To illustrate the point she did a whole-body stretch and yawned yet again! “Tyllae was sleepy-sleeping with Sunny when Tyllae felt Starry get all upset. Tyllae came to see whassa wrong. Whahoppen?” She looked around the room.

You know… I almost told her! I thought about launching into a minor tirade about Pony prejudice and injustice. … But why burden the little thing with all that? To what end? To make me feel better? Tyllae might comprehend but she wouldn’t understand. And if she did I couldn’t help but think the knowledge would taint the little Fey somehow. As far as she knew Ponies were Good. On the other hoof… she already knew that Ponies are Good but not Perfect. Hell, she acknowledged that Faeries aren’t Perfect either already. Faeries have their own problems so why should I burden her with pedestrian Pony ones?

I hadn’t realized I was looking at the little Fey until I noticed her peering back up at me curiously.

“Starry? Tyllae wants to help fix! Yep, yep, yep!”

“It’s nothing, kiddo.” I assured her. “I’m just being a Silly Pony is all. …What are you, an empath or something?”

Tyllae sighed! “Issa lika ‘per-vert’? Talk so Tyllae unnerstands, Starry! Starry alla time asking question! Tyllae thinks Starry issa ‘per-vert’, too!”

I laughed. It felt good! Hell, maybe that was Willowbark’s problem! For all I really know he just doesn’t approve of Lesbians! (The Mare in my head pointed out that liking Fillies is not an intrinsically bad thing in and of itself. ‘Pervert’ is just a derisive title applied by others who don’t feel the same way. Like ‘Augment’ or ‘Superpony’.)

“It’s ok, Tyllae, promise!” I paused to sketch an ’x’ across my breast. “Like we say back Home, ‘It takes a lot of different minerals to make a rock.’”

Tyllae looked dubious. “Uh-huh. …What is Starry not telling Tyllae?” She cocked her head at me… and yawned.

“Go back to Sunny and go back to sleep, Squirt! I’ll be ok, really!”

“Nuh-uh! Tyllae gonna stay an keepa eye on Starry-fibber right here!” She gave a jump and slid down my gown into her Favorite Spot. She poked her head out. “ ‘Sides! Warmer inna here!”

Yeah. Sickbay seemed a lot warmer now! Little things teach the best, after all.

“Suit yourself, kiddo! I’ll be quiet and good. Sleep tight!” I gathered my robe up tight. I hoped the Little Fey could feel emotions. I loved her so much just then!

The contented sigh from my cleavage affirmed the suspicion. I stroked the barely discernible little mound softly. Sleep well, Little Spirit Of Hope.

Take that, Willowbark!

… Astronomy kept my busy after that. At this range it was hard to be certain but there were some indirect indications that something was happening in subspace out there. I did some mental math and the Mare in my head frowned at the results. What could be making normal space act like that? I made a note to discuss this with my Department tomorrow. At the very least Hermes should take a closer look, if only to clear up the discrepancy in the star charts!

Xantippe walks so softly I never heard her come up. I didn’t even notice the black-and-white face peering around the edge of the curtain until she quietly cleared her throat.

“Knock-knock!”

“Hey, Xantippe!” I said quietly, mindful of the sleeping Fey. “Come in! Quietly, though. I’m packing a sleeping passenger! ” I hooked a thumb at my chest.

The Zebra entered on tippy-hooves bearing a laden tray covered in a Starfleet-blue cloth. “Dear me, now I see. I shall be as quiet as can be. To give your spirit a lift, I come bearing a gift. To help you recoup, Bob sends salad, sandwich and soup. Looky, there’s even a cookie!”

Almost at once an elfin head poked over the top of my gown, little antennae up at attention!

“Cookie? Tyllae loves cookies!

“What happened to being ‘super-duper pooped’?” I turned my head to look at the tiny, four-legged eating machine.

“Tyllae can sleep much, much, much better with a full tummy! Yep, yep, yep!” She flitted up to hover over the cookie, a big oatmeal job with walnuts in it, and rubbed her little forehooves in anticipation.

Xantippe set the tray down carefully across my knees and took a seat. “I seem to have made a boo-boo since I did not bring enough for two!”

“It’s ok. I don’t need so much while I’m living in such a weak gravity, anyway. I can certainly live without that cookie!” I picked up the packet of salad dressing and tugged it open. Blue cheese! Yum!

“Aww! Issa very, very, very good cookie, Starry! Starry should have some. Tyllae will share!” She flitted down to grapple the thing. She stood it up on one end and eyed it critically, turning it round and round ‘til she had it just right. She raised one little hoof… and rapped it sharply, dead center! It fell apart in three perfect sections with nary a crumb lost! Neat trick, that!

“Nicely done, Hon!” Xantippe applauded. “But none for me. I’m big enough already!” With one hoof she gestured demurely at her hips, casting her eyes down in Zebrican modesty.

“Thatta buncha stinky-bugs!” Tyllae declared, flitting the cookie piece into her lap. She hovered up and gave her tummy a companionable poke. “Tyllae knows Appley-Bob thinks nice, nice, nice Zeeba looks jus fine! Yep, yep, yep!”

Xantippe looked pleased even as she blushed. “I hope what you said is true but unless he told you how is it that you knew?”

Tyllae had settled down into her lap and was just about to tuck into her cookie. “Tyllae knows! Plain assa wings! Why can’t Big Ponies see?” She prepared to take a big bite but stopped, thunderstruck. She actually dropped her cookie! “Waitwaitwait! Big Ponies can’t see can they, Starry?” She peered up at me to see if it wasn’t true.

“No, kiddo. We’re not Faeries.” To Xantippe I added, “She’s an Empath and at least a little bit telepathic… among other things.”

Xantippe cocked her head. “I do not see, the word is unfamiliar to me.”

“She can read and interpret emotions and feelings without relying on body language or expressions, can’t you Squirt?”

“Of coursa can! … But Big Ponies can’t? Poor Big Ponies!” She scritched behind one ear thoughtfully. “…Probly why Big Ponies talky-talk so much alla time!”

“You’ve been around all this time and you never realized that?” I tossed my salad some, spreading the dressing around. “Nice to know you’re not perfect. I was beginning to develop a complex!” I winked and speared a forkful and began munching.

“Hay!” The Fey said defensively, “Tyllae stayed hid an never talked to Big Ponies… like Faeries s’posed to! An Tyllae never said Tyllae wassa perfeck! Tyllae is jussa Faery, no more anna no less! … But looky likes even Faeries can learn, huh Starry?” She looked uncharacteristically thoughtful for a moment, then looked back up at me, stricken!

“Then Starry does not know how very, very, very much Sunny loves Starry! Sunny does! Trust Tyllae!”

I gave the little Fey a rub with my free hoof. “We’re not Empaths, kiddo. But, believe me, the idea comes across loud and clear! Sunny and I know precisely how we feel about one another. Ponies just have other ways of knowing, ok?”

Tyllae looked relieved and picked up her cookie again. But it simply was not to be! Xantippe leaned on the edge of my bed and rested her head on her forehooves.

“Tyllae, dove!” She asked coyly. “How does Bob feel, Like or Love?” The Mare in my head wondered if I looked that sappy where Sunny was concerned and went to sit in her Command Chair. …I made sure there was a tack on the seat!

Tyllae opened her mouth to answer and stopped short. She rolled one eye back to me and considered. “…Big Ponies have ‘other ways’ so Tyllae is not sure is right for Tyllae to blabber-mouth, right Starry?”

I nodded and mumbled around a delicious mouthful, “Better not to mess around in pony’s private lives, kiddo!”

Tyllae nodded and drew herself up. She cleared her little throat. “Tyllae should not grant you wish….” She peeked my way then raised a hoof to hide her muzzle and whispered to the smitten Zebra, “But Tyllae thinks Xantippe is Bobs favorite dish!”

Xantippe looked so absurdly pleased that I actually rolled my eyes!

The Zebra leaned in close and whispered to the smug, little Fey. “From your lips Celestia’s ear! Thank you so much, you little Dear!” She straightened up and shone brighter than the gold hoops in her ears. “And, no matter what any Pony says, that was quite an elegant turn of phrase!”

“Suck-up!” I gave the giggling Fey a nudge. “…And what did I just say?”

“What? Tyllae did not say anything nopony already knows! Tyllae did not hurt anything! Nope, nope, nope!” I sighed and took another bite while she tucked into her cookie.

“Now I feel I should leave you with your meal!” Xantippe rose and gave me a bow with clasped hooves and downcast eyes. “The Captain has led me a merry chase, but now I will catch him in his home base! I let him scurry as he would since the exercise would do him good. Fun is fun but now I’m through, both of us have a job to do! Good bye, Starry! Have a nice day, little Tyllae!”

Tyllae beamed and waved as she left, her mouth too full of cookie to do anything else. I glanced at the chronometer.

Right after lunch! Oh well, he made it through the morning at least.

“Cappy Caper does not really mind! Itsa game for him to passa time!” Tyllae giggled and floated up a spinach leaf to dip in dressing. I rolled an eye at her.

“… You’re going to Zebra-talk for a while now, aren’t you?”

“Tyllae likes how Zeeba talk!” She had to think for a moment before continuing, “Though for her issa easier than how to walk!”

“Well for Xantippe it’s a matter of reflex anymore.” I kept a straight face. “…For anypony else it would be a chore!”

“Now Starry jussa being silly!” The Fey laughed, nearly losing control of her latest snack!

“As goofy as a Faery, maybe?” I upped the challenge a little.

The little mite chewed and swallowed before launching herself into the air to begin circling my head.

“Big Pony thinks is as smart as smart can be. But when comes to talking ability, Tyllae rhymes circles ‘round Big Starry! Hee-hee!” The little fink did precisely three victory rolls over my head!

“Oh sit down and have some sandwich, you little…”

“Hay!”

“…Faery!”

“Yayyy for Tyllae! Tyllae win yet again!”

“Yeah, yeah. Tyllae one, Starry zero! Now get back down here and eat!” I plucked the tittering bug out of the air and set her back onto my lap. “…And that last one wasn’t a proper rhyme. You were using the wrong tense of the verb!”

The little tyke stuck her tongue out at me twice by way of having the last word (‘Pbfft’ rhymes with ‘Pbfft’, after all.) and I gave her a tickle to show no hard feelings. …But when the Mare in my head told me I had a good sort for being a good sport I pasted her with a cream pie! Enough was enough! Tyllae giggled.

Since I was sitting up Tyllae curled up under the blankets in my lap after lunch. I’d given up on the Astrometrics reports and was composing a nice letter to Daddy when a discrete cough behind the curtain got my attention.

“Commander Starry-Eyes? Are you awake?”

“I sure am, Evee. Come in.” I put my padd aside, wondering if being in a coma wouldn’t be more restful after all. The Mare in my head… after having her shower…reminded me that I should count my blessings for having so many friends. I had to agree… and sent her a nice bouquet of flowers. She sniffed them appreciatively and smiled before munching on a daisy!

Lieutenant Evee stepped out from behind the curtain and stood hesitantly.

“My watch ended early since I had to cover during the, uh, after-action. I thought I’d come by and see how you were…” She trailed off and fidgeted. I wondered what was up.

“I’m fine, Evee. My tap-dancing career, should I ever try to have one, is in no danger. Have a seat! Oops! Better keep your voice down, though. Sleeping Faery on board!” I pitched my voice lower.

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t know! Maybe I should come back later.” She lowered her voice and seemed to be on the verge of seizing the chance to leave, her nerve deserting her. After her performance on the Bridge I just had to know what could have her so shaken!

“No, no! It’s ok. She just had a huge lunch and is dead to the world. Probably wouldn’t wake up for a Klingon Dreadnaught! Please, have a seat. My Augment Senses tell me that there’s something on your mind.”

She sat down quickly… at attention… and looked alarmed.

“ ‘Augment Senses?’ , Ma‘am?”

“It’s a joke, Evee! Sheesh! Lighten up!” I gave the young Mare my best ‘Sunny’ smile. “And you can call me ‘Starry’. After all, I’m hardly in uniform right now. Besides, after that little episode yesterday, I don’t think we have to be quite so formal any more. You did a hell of a job!”

But the hapless Lieutenant didn’t relax. She turned her eyes away and stopped herself from drying her palms on her knees by clasping her hooves in her lap. “It’s about that, actually. I…um…” She took a breath and looked straight at me. “I understand that you recommended me for a citation.”

“That’s right. I wasn’t so out of it that I didn’t notice that you fought the ship while the whole Bridge was engaged in a firefight. And you took out a bigger ship with superior firepower to boot! We all appreciate… Starfleet appreciates… what you did. Hell, I‘d hang another medal on you myself if they gave me the chance!”

“But that’s just it, Commander!” Evee looked at me urgently. “I didn’t deserve that medal… or this citation! I don’t.” She added miserably.

“Hay!” I reached out and took her hoof. “Take it easy, Evee. What’s wrong?”

“They made me a hero for Charon. For what I did on the Boromir. I didn’t deserve it, but they never listened to me! Commander… I didn’t fly that ship to save it or the Federation. When it came down to it I flew like I never did before to save myself. Those Romulans… and those Klingons… were trying to kill me! I was trying to save me! I’m not a ‘hero’,” She spat the word. “I’m a… a…self-centered coward!” She whispered the last word, shame bringing tears to her eyes and only the iron in her will keeping her erect. I had to admire the Earth Pony in her!

I gave her hoof a squeeze, knowing she’d never forgive herself if she collapsed into tears during a hug. “Oh, Evee!” I said softly, carefully choosing my next words. So this is why the young Mare never talked about Charon! Poor thing!

“Look!” I began, hoping I wasn’t going to make things worse. “… I’m not going to pat you on the back and give you a soothing talk about Survivor’s Guilt. I’m an Augment, we’re experts in Survivor’s Guilt! I’m not going to sit here and tell you to feel better about yourself. I will tear up that citation depending on how you answer this next question, though. Fair enough?”

She raised tortured eyes to me and waited.

“Right!” I fixed her with my eyes and asked. “Turn it around, Evee. Suppose those Romulans… or those Klingons on the Switchblade… had captured you. Tortured you into flying their ship to kill the Boromir or the Hermes! Suppose they told you the only way they would let you live is that you would have to kill all those Ponies. Would you have flown their ship like that just to save your particular life? Tell me, Lieutenant. Would. You. Have. Done. It?”

I’m a Pony of my Word. If she even had hesitated I would have ripped that citation to quantum particle waves and not Caper, Starfleet, or the Federation President would keep me from doing it! But she came back right away, the look of shock at the idea fading away to one of dawning realization… and relief.

“No! …No. …I wouldn’t.”

“…. Then what kind of ‘coward’ is that?” I sat back on my bed. “There’s a difference between being scared and being a coward. Starfleet doesn’t put computers in charge of fighting, or commanding, their ships. Machines don’t get scared. But neither can they reach down inside themselves and pull up the guts to win against the odds. You can. You did, because you’re afraid! …And you’re more altruistic than you let yourself believe!” I fussed a bit with the blankets. “There you are! I’m no psychologist but I think you did right for all the right reasons. The citation stands, Evee.”

Poor kid. In the chaos of the last stages of the War Starfleet needed every able-bodied Pony it could get. Evee, with her guilt and shock held tight within, just fell through the cracks of the System. No Psychologist or Counselor ever got to her and she carried on like a true Earth Pony with a job to do, Celestia and Luna love her!

Evee sagged in her seat just a little bit, just for a moment. Her eyes were bright when she lifted them to me again but her voice was steady and calm. “I understand… now. Thank you, Commander.” She essayed a weak smile.

Somehow, I must have twitched, (Or was it somehow connected to the subdued puff of pink radiance and the almost-audible ’pif’ and ’pop’ that happened just then?) A napkin ended up falling on Evee’s knee. She discretely dabbled her eyes while I reached for my padd again.

“I should be going now, Ma’am. I’ll see tomorrow on the Bridge then?”

“Wild horses couldn’t stop me, Lieutenant!”

Evee smiled a stronger smile and rose to leave. Just as she was going to duck out of sight behind the curtain I called out.

“I’m glad to know you, Evee!”

She paused and gave me a positively radiant smile.

“Me, too! Starry!”

Tyllae squirmed her head out from under the covers when she left and flitted up just in front of my muzzle.

“Tyllae was good an didn’t butt in, Starry! Tyllae kept all quiet an lissened. Tyllae thinks Tyllae unnerstands alla bout ‘Other Ways’ now. Starry was very, very, very good to poor Evee. Evee feel much, much, much better ‘bout self now!” I collected a huggle and a nuzzle as a reward.

“You didn’t do so bad yourself, kiddo! That napkin was very considerate of you.”

“Aw, fuffles! Evee tried so very, very, very hard to be brave for Starry an not get all sobby. Was just a little thing for Tyllae to do. Tyllae was trying to be all Faery-quiet an sneaky but Starry still saw Tyllae. Awg-mint eyes are very, very, very sharp!”

“Well we were made to be that way, weren’t we? Besides, I know my Faeries and knew what to look for! You’re probably still just sleepy is all. You’re not getting much sleep down here, aren’t you?” I let her land on my palm and gave the little mite a nuzzle of my own.

She chose that moment to yawn again! “Oh, Tyllae will just sleep extra-good tonight. Will Starry be able to come back to sleep with Sunny an Tyllae tonight, Starry?”

“We’ll have to wait and see when Sunny comes on shift. She’s got the second Watch tonight since Doctor Willowbark is covering for her today.”

Tyllae peered comically at the chronometer. “How long till then, Starry?”

I glanced up. “Just a little more than two hours, Squirt. Want to catch another nap? If anypony else comes by I’ll put a gag on them! I promise I’ll be quiet. Hopefully Sunny’ll let me go back to the cabin as long as I promise to take it easy an you can have another nap until dinner. Sound like a plan?”

“Sound like a sooper-dooper idea, Starry! But don’t worry about little Tyllae. Tyllae likes to talk with all Starry an Tyllae’s friends!” She bounded up to deliver an elfin kiss before diving back under the covers in my lap. I tucked her in and gave the little lump a pat before taking up the padd again. The Mare in my head grumped a little about the fact I wasn’t getting anything accomplished today. I looked up the way Evee left, though, and considered… Well, maybe I did get something constructive done today at that! I sure hoped so.

I managed to get that letter done and forwarded it Communications where, as promised, it was put at the top of the list of outgoing traffic. Daddy would get it in just a couple of hours. I spent a little while feeling homesick and spent some time wrangling out how I could squeeze a few hours leave out of our stay to go see him. Sunny wouldn’t be able to go unless she volunteered to confine herself to lying flat on an antigrav gurney the whole while. I knew she wouldn’t hesitate to say yes, but I also just knew she’d find some way to get off it once she got there! I was wondering if anypony onboard had a gravity-nullifying spell in their repertoire when my ears caught a familiar footstep… and an odd rattling noise.

Bors stuck his head around the curtain and peeked.

“Ah! Good afternoon, Mrs. Eyes! We thought we’d drop by and pay you a visit to while away the time!” He’d cut back to wearing just one ribbon under his chin. This one was a hideous shade of metallic chartreuse.

“Hey, Bors!” I winked at him. “What’s with this ‘we’? Or have you finally gone senile and developed schizophrenia?”

Bors squealed a laugh that made Willowbark stick his head through the door in alarm. “Four out of five voices in my head think that is very funny, Starry! The fifth one, though, says you should wait and see who I brought with me!”

Mr. Sekkack followed the Tellarite in and nodded civilly to me. “Greetings, Commander. I trust you are feeling well.”

“I’m very well. Thank you for your concern. I’ll be back to work tomorrow morning. What brings you two here?”

Bors noticed just one chair and scurried away to the next bed to liberate another. Sekkack took up position at the foot of my bed and stood at ease with his paws behind his back.

“My colleague has informed me that prolonged inactivity has a detrimental effect on many otherwise active Pony patients. He suggested that we come here in an effort to, ’lift your spirits’. I came because I was curious. Are you a Spiritualist, Commander?” His always serene face was guilelessly innocent as always… but there was this (Dare I say it?) almost playful twinkle in his placid, brown eyes. If I didn’t know better I would have sworn he was making a joke!

I suppressed a grin to keep from offending the Vulcan. “Ah, no. He was talking about spirits in the metaphorical sense of sadness. Unless that’s a Ouija board he’s got with him!”

For Bors had come back pushing the chair in front of him, the metallic box he’d been carrying sitting on the seat. It had some lurid lettering on it written in a Tellarite script I’d never learned. Whatever was in it rattled with every motion of the chair.

“A Ouija Board?” Bogan scoffed. “I’ve heard of those. Really, Starry! If you need to contact the next world you need to use bones! Everybody knows that! And you talk about my mental condition! But what can you expect from backwards, unsophisticated Ponies?”

“As far as that goes I know somepony who might be able to tell you exactly what goes on in the Other World. Speaking of whom, we’d best keep our voices down… Oops! Too late!”

For Tyllae had wriggled her way out again to do another full-body stretch complete with a shuddering yawn. After a moment, fresh as the proverbial daisy, she waved at the two newest visitors. “Hi-hii, Mr. Bogan! Hi-hii, Mr. See-kack!”

“Ah! The little being with the legendary appetite! We missed you at lunch. There was enough food to go around for a change!” Bogan poked a furry finger in the Fey’s direction.

“Hah!” Tyllae snorted. “There was prolly lossa food till Mr. Tellar-Piggy got a hold of it! Poor, skinny Tyllae came here an ate with Starry to keep from shriveling all away!” She darted out to prance on all four hooves around Bogans ample midsection before flitting a safe distance away, giggling!

“Tyllae!” I scolded. “Be nice!”

“Aww fiddlefluff, Starry! Bogy-Bogan is having fun with Tyllae an Tyllae is having fun right back! Right, Mr. Bogy?”

“Precisely! At last, someone on this ship of Ponies who understands the nuances of civilized discourse!” He presented his fist to the Fey who flitted over and bumped it with one of her tiny hooves while I just facehoofed!

In the meantime, Sekkack had quietly drawn up the existing chair and made himself Vulcanly comfortable. …Meaning that he sat rigidly at attention with his paws in his lap.

“Greetings, Little Tyllae. I regret that we have disturbed you.”

The little Fey flitted over to hover in front of Sekkack’s squat muzzle. “Issa alright, Mr. See-kack! Friends are always welcome! Tyllae can always sleep later! Yep, yep, yep!” Knowing Tyllae, I was ready to warn her off. But the little thing darted in to actually hug the Vulcans furry neck before I could speak!

“Tyllae! Don’t! Vulcans are contact telepaths…!” I broke off in horror as she wrapped her tiny forelegs around as much of Sekkack as she could manage and nuzzled the Vulcan!

“It is quite all right, Commander.” The Vulcan said quietly. “Under any other circumstances you would be correct. Tyllae, through some fashion I cannot fathom, is able to keep her rather intense emotions from causing any discomfort.” He presented a palm for the Fey to land on and reached up with his free paw to delicately scratch the elfin mane with the barest end of an exposed claw-tip. “She is a very considerate being. As well as being a more talented telepath than you may give her credit for. We have had several interesting discussions she and I.”

The Mare in my head mirrored my gape then declared that now she could die since she’s just seen everything!

“Well,” I stammered, not sure what to make of this latest display. “Tyllae is just full of surprises we keep finding out about. It’s getting difficult to keep up with the pace sometimes!”

Tyllae flitted back to sit on my shoulder. She gave me a companionable pat. “Starry should not worry so much! Tyllae may be a Faery but Tyllae is not a stoopid Faery! Nope, nope, nope!
Tyllae lissened when Starry told Tyllae ‘bout Vulcans. Tyllae made sure to be good an be polite to nice, nice, nice Mr. See-kack!”

Sekkack nodded gravely to the Fey. “Your discretion is deeply appreciated, Tyllae.”

“See?” She pointed a hoof at Sekkack. “Tyllae learned how to be good with Vulcans! Tyllae goes see Mr. See-kack late at night when Tyllae wakes up while Starry an Sunny all sleeping. Mr. See-kack only sleeps a little at night so Tyllae keeps company. Starry would like Mr. See-kack’s room. Issa very, very, very warm there! Tyllae tells Mr. See-kack alla ‘bout Faeries an Mr. See-kack tells Tyllae alla ‘bout Vulcans, too! Yep, yep, yep!”

I must have looked surprised for Sekkack spoke up. “I was unaware that you did not know this, Commander. Since you are one of Tyllae’s guardians would you prefer that she no longer does so? I assure you that she is no imposition. Indeed, she would not even enter my cabin the first time until I invited her precisely three times.” He cocked his head ever-so-slightly. “Apparently it is a ‘Faery Rule’. Another example of her fascinating… and complex… code of behavior. I never would have suspected that such an outwardly chaotic being would possess so many voluntary restrictions.”

“Um…” I bit my lip as I thought how to word what came next. “Tyllae is a fully functioning adult so neither Sunny nor I can tell her what not to do. As long as she isn’t intruding upon your privacy I have no objections. My only concern is that Tyllae, being a very, uh, gregarious sort likes everypony. She naturally assumes that everypony…and non-pony… likes her as well. I’m afraid that she does not understand that Vulcans are incapable of…”

“Starry!” Tyllae flitted up to scold me! “Shame, shame, shame! Starry must not put nice Mr. See-kack inna place where nice Mr. See-kack is forced to say things against Vulcan Rules! Tyllae thinks Starry does not know as much as Starry thinks Starry does! Starry told Tyllae that Mr. See-kack is never happy or sad or anything! But Tyllae knows what Tyllae knows ‘cause Tyllae is a clever, clever, clever Faery! Yep, yep, yep!” She gave Sekkack a secret, knowing look before turning back to me. “That is all Tyllae will say ‘cause Tyllae respecks Vulcan Rules like nice, nice, nice Mr. See-kack respecks Faery Rules!” She flitted over to stroke Sekkack’s cheek with a tender hoof before settling back onto my shoulder with a self-righteous look.

I turned over the implications of this and shot the Vulcan a shocked glance! Sekkack regarded me impassively… except for the tiniest glimmer of something in those seemingly cool eyes! I was on the verge of asking something that would have been culturally awkward… to say the least… when the Vulcan saved me from embarrassing the both of us.

“In any event the reason for our visit is to indulge in a recreational activity designed to distract you from your ennui, as is apparently the social custom among those who suffer from it.”

I was still reeling from the sudden bombshell delivered by tiny, tiny hooves. (The Mare in my head staggered off for a quick, strong drink. …A slug of ’Auld Hornsgleam’ would have been just the ticket then!) I blinked.

“Say what now?”

“We are going to play a game.” The Vulcan stated patiently. “It is based on Tellarite base-six mathematics (Tellarites have six digits between their two paws.) so the permutations should be quite mentally stimulating.”

Bors, who hadn’t missed a word of what Tyllae had said, had maneuvered my table across the bed and sat staring narrowly at Sekkack. He tugged absently at the ribbon on his chin and didn’t stir as the Vulcan turned his gaze upon him.

Well,” He rumbled. “What else can one expect from someone who lives on a diet of cookies? All those chocolate chips have gone to your brain, Little glow-bug!”

Tyllae, for her part, stuck her little tongue out at Bors and gave him a raspberry and a giggle! “Fatty-fatso!”

“Bah!” The Tellarite dismissed the Fey with a hairy paw. “Let us introduce an element of rational thought into this gathering! The game is called B’iv and it is a planetary pastime on glorious Mother Tellar! The rules are simple but don’t let that fool you. The strategies are complex!”

He opened the box and decanted dozens of triangular ceramic tiles, each one inscribed on one side with numbers ranging from zero to eleven. It played like dominoes in that we each had six tiles set up in front of us and had to draw from the unused pieces until we had a playable tile. The scoring was by multiples of three rather than five and there were several tiles that would allow exceptions to the rule. It was complex but not too terribly so. Unlike Sunny, who prefers… of all things… wargames and role-playing sims, I genuinely enjoy playing dominoes so I picked it up quickly and managed to give Bors a few thrashings. Sekkack, not surprisingly, played conservatively and won as often as he lost. He seemed neither to like or dislike the game and was content to add what he could to the camaraderie simply by just being there. …Though none of us there would go so far as to say anything so gauche. Tyllae flitted above the tableaux urging us to add tiles here and there to make shapes she would supply fanciful descriptions to. Just for fun she would poof down and ‘accidentally’ knock one of our tiles over so the rest of the players could see and retreat into my mane giggling like the idiot she most decidedly was not!

I was enjoying myself so thoroughly that I managed to ignore Willowbark as he came by to take discrete readings from my bio-bed. At some point during the session he simply turned it off and I ignored that, too!

The game broke up when Tyllae hopped into the air, waving madly! “Hi-hii, Sunny! Come an play!”

A refreshed and decidedly non-disheveled Sunny soared into the room. “Sure n’ I thought this is where ye’d got off to! Right! Pack it in, boyos! After I examine this patient I’m a-dischargin’ her. From all accounts she’s doin’ naught but takin’ up valuable bed space!” She gave our favorite Fey a nuzzle and shooed the others away with the firm authority of a true autocrat! Again and forever, Alicorns!

Sunny’s ‘examination’ consisted of an abbreviated version of Willowbark’s tests, tickle included, …and a long kiss behind drawn curtains afterwards! For the record I felt about one thousand percent better!

“G’wan wi ye then!” She gave my bottom a pat to scoot me on my way. “Draw a uniform n’ get back to cabin… at a sedate n’ calm pace, mind… n’ take it easy for rest o’ th’ night. Dinner’ll be sent round if ye dinna feel up t’ comin’ t’ cafeteria.” She said with an adorable twinkle in her eye

“Galley, Sunny! It’s called the Galley! How long have you been aboard?”

I got another swat that would have atomized any anemic mosquito with a terminal condition for that! “None o’ yer sass now! I’ve gone over yer chart wi’ Doctor Willowbark n’ he concurs that, aside from bein’ a wee bit on th’ weak side, yer in the bloom o’ health. Bless Celestia n’ yer bloomin’ Augmentation! At this rate ye’ll be right as rain come mornin’!”

“ ‘Weak?’ “ I was indignant. “ I’ll show him ‘weak’! I’ll tie that prejudicial so-and-so into a Granny knot to show him how ‘weak’ I am. Where is he? Lemme at him!”

“Oh, hoosh, ye great ninny!” Sunny said. “Yer foolin’ nopony wi’ yer savage ways! Cut th’ poor Laddie some slack. He did a bonnie job on your not-so-wee leg, after all. Everypony gets a chance, as ye recall! He’s entitled t’ his opinion n’ who knows? He might come around of a day if ye keep on bein‘ yer charmin‘ self. See n’ if I’m not right! Now scoot, Lassie! Not all o’ us have time t’ be playin games all day. Git, git! Hup, hup, hup! Hubba, bloody hubba, fer all love!”

“All right! All right! I’m going! This is me going! Sheesh!” I paused for a moment then, “What do you mean ‘my not-so-wee leg’?”

“Oh, sufferin’ Celestia in an eclipse!” Sunny facehoofed tragically! “Not this again!”

“I’m perfectly proportioned for somepony my size… aren‘t I?” I protested.

Sunny took a breath and counted to ten. “I’ll no be arguin’ wi’ yer proportions. I’m verra fond o’ them, as a matter o’ fact! But…!” She fixed me with a glare! “If ye dinna get yer Cutie mark outa me Sickbay this instant I’ll put this through it!” She raised one booted hoof dangerously and I scooted away to the replicator!

I got dressed quickly in the bathroom, thinking about what Sunny said. I hurried out and caught Dr. Willowbark just as he was about to leave.

I cleared my throat to get his attention and he looked at me with guarded eyes.

“Yes, Commander?”

“I… well, Sunny told me that you worked on my leg…”

“Yes, I did. A tricky job given your… situation. Still, you came through it admirably well. I would even call it a tribute to your, ah, ‘designers’.”

Oh, I could quite easily rankled at that. But Sunny was right. And he did do a great job. I put all that in my eyes, wishing I had Sunny’s trick of making them say sooo much. Instead, all I could come up with was, “Um, yeah. Look, I just wanted to say ‘thank you’. …And I’m sorry for being such a thin-skinned jerk. Not very ‘Optimal’ of me, wasn’t it?” I essayed a lopsided, wry smile.

Willowbark held my eyes for a moment, then looked away. He never lost that carefully neutral expression. Well I did what I could.

“Good night, Doctor Willowbark. Thanks again.” I turned to leave.

“Commander…”

I stopped and looked.

“I… heard what you said to Lieutenant Evee.” He paused and looked sheepish. “The acoustics of Sickbay are set up like that. To make it easier to monitor patients when we can’t see them.” He paused again and shot me a glance. “You did good, Commander. Very good. I’ve made a note for Doctor Fisher, our Psychiatrist, to arrange a talk with her. It’ll be very casual. Doctor Fisher is very discrete. He’s quite the expert! But we wouldn’t have known, but for you. She might have carried that baggage around for years. It probably would have become something ugly.” He looked at me fully. “That’s not something that can be designed into a Pony, isn’t it? You’re more a Pony than a Process, after all.”

It wasn’t quite an apology or an admission that one was necessary, but it was something from the heart.

“It all was a long, long time ago. Wasn’t it Commander?”

“Yeah.” I agreed. “ Way before my time.”

“Mine, too.” He conceded and dropped his eyes. He took a breath and straightened his lab coat. When he looked at me again there was something different in those eyes.

“Have a good night, Commander Starry-Eyes. I doubt you’ll have any problems with that leg at this late date. But if you do, be sure to let me know. I’ll be… happy to help.” A fleeting phantom of a grin quirked his lips for a bare nanosecond and the ghosts of Khan, Green, and Thorsen were buried that much deeper… as far as I was concerned, anyway.

It wasn’t Friendship, and it sure as hell wasn’t Magic! At least it was a Fresh Start and that’s still a Good Thing whenever you can get it!

I tossed him a quiet smile and a nod. “Sure thing, Doctor. If it hurts you’ll be the second one to know!”

He smiled a crooked smile at that truly lame attempt at being funny. “Fair enough, Commander! Good night.”

I collected Tyllae and ambled my way back to our cabin, exchanging greetings with all the friendly, familiar faces. As I went my heart swelled and swelled and I felt sooo good that Tyllae tugged my mane.

“Whassa goin’ on, Starry? Starry is very, very, VERY happy alla sudden!”

I gathered the little tyke up in both hooves and gave her a careful smooch before sticking her down my collar where she rode with her head sticking out. Ponies giggled and waved back at her as we went along.

“Tyllae, have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE this ship?”

Tyllae tapped her chin with a forehoof as she thought. “Nope, nope, nope! Not today anyway.”

“Well, I do! Celestia and Luna, I do!”

Author's Note

Ah, the perils of popularity! Never fear, True Believers, Starry will be hale and hearty for her Shore Leave on Equestris! *Discretely puts away the Pepsi Max for a while*

While I had fun with this chapter...as I do with ALL of them... I have to admit that I'm at the end of my tether when it comes to real drama. I can't but help to feel I could have done better with Evee's problem as well as the anti-Augment aspect of good Doctor Willowbark. ...My big trouble is that I LIKE my happy endings! What we call the 'Real World' is full to brimming with tragedy and pain, why add to or glorify it? (Soap Operas... and their apparent popularity... as a continuing source of mystery to me!) What else is Fantasy for, anyway?

Chapter Twenty Five- Equestris

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

EQUESTRIS

We made planetfall at Equestris precisely on schedule at 0935 hours. I paused to drink in the spectacle of my Home World as it expanded on the Main Viewer orbiting just off to the side of our Primary, Badlantis. Just beneath the swirling white clouds I could make out our small, green, iron-rich seas and the thin rime of green-blue sky at the edge of the world. The familiar red-purple, rocky deserts peeked out shyly at me. The mountain chains that rimmed them, the Brokenback Range, the Trove and the beloved Tumbledowns, in whose shadows I’d grown up, pushed the unruly clouds aside and frowned in taciturn greeting while the myriad valleys clothed in dark, gray-green native moss around the swift, bright rivers beckoned. It was raining in Ponyton, the sensors told me, and Mount Thunderball was putting on yet another pyrotechnic display while a hurricane came sweeping out of the misnamed Sluggish Sea to the annoyance of the Ponies in Crater City and its environs. The Rattling Hills had just had their fourth 6.5 magnitude quake this month and the Equestrins there were going through their never-ending routine of checking the mines and fixing the ‘bots that got caught in the occasional collapse. The Molten River had overflowed its banks again and the miners and their machines clustered around waiting patiently until the deposits cooled enough to harvest the newest batch of assorted metals brought up from the mantle while the broad, orange disk of Nova Celestia shone from fifty-four million miles away.

All over Equestris the ground shook, the storms raged, and nearly a quarter million Augments shrugged and went about their lives wringing a living out of the recalcitrant planet. Equestrins don’t complain. We hunker down and Get The Job done in the proudest Earth Pony tradition! I watched and just glowed from within!

Capers voice snapped me out of my reverie.

“Is imposing place, da?” He remarked to nopony in particular.

Evee cocked her head and regarded the image on the screen. “At least it’s got more water than Mares had before terraforming. You guys had it easy, Starry!” She looked back and tossed me a wink. The last couple of days had seen a real blossoming of the normally retiring Helm Officer. She stopped wearing her mane in that face-covering way and was actually socializing for a change! Doctor Fisher had introduced himself by ‘accidentally’ spilling his drink on her. He’d begun a friendship with her with some really productive conversations. The upshot of which was that the young Mare was finally coming out of her self-imposed shell without formally treating her as a ‘patient’! Good for the both of them!

I swiveled to give her a reproving look. “Am I detecting just a bit of Maretian bias here? Nasty things live in the water here! Just dabble your hoof and see what comes out gnawing on the stump! Then tell me how lucky we are to have it!”

“Hay! At least you could drink it. Ours was all frozen! And look at all that plant life, not to mention the atmosphere! Like I said, easy!” Evee looked smug… and about thirteen years old when she was being playful!

“That plant life is moss and lichen, there’s hardly any topsoil as such. I’ll conceded that the atmosphere is nice… even if it is a bit heavy on the sulfur compounds! All that volcanism, you know. The gravity and the seismic activity make up for it, though. And we only had one, count ’em, one ship! No reinforcements every six months from Earth! So there!” I stuck a broad orange tongue out at her!

Evee smirked. “Well…. Ok, maybe not too easy! But it’s nothing that good old Maretian ingenuity couldn’t cope with!”

“Puh-leeze! Those tinker toy domes would be just so many fallen soufflés on Equestris. We have positive air pressure here!” I said, loftily.

“Be careful, Starry-pushka!” Caper rumbled. “Hometown pride is showing! Most unprofessional in seasoned officer, nyet?” I shut my mouth so quickly, embarrassed, that I didn’t catch the laugh in his eyes. Everypony else on the Bridge did, though, and a chuckle got passed around all stations. Eventually I caught on to what was happening.

“Ok, ok!” I rolled my eyes. “So I’m proud of my home! I wasn’t knocking the achievements of the Mares Colony, Evee. I was just pointing out that there were… different variables involved, is all!”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Starry!” Evee turned and treated me to an impish grin! “We Colonials have to stick together. After all, they had it easy!”

“Too easy!” I agreed. “They just don’t know how hard it is to make a start from zero…”

“Like maybe rebuilding civilization from ashes of Last World War?” Caper retorted. “Is old Rushin proverb….”

“Noice lookin’ skoy, though!” Merry put in. “A Pony could get used ta that!”

Guiding Star looked up from his board and contemplated the Viewer. “I’ll still take blue any day.” He remarked and returned to his board. “Coming up on final approach to Starfleet Equestris Base Facility. Over to you, Evee.”

“Roger that, Star.” She scanned her board quickly and announced. “We’re right in the groove. Decelerating to Standard Orbit Velocity. We’ll be matching orbit at Equestris Base in five minutes and…” She consulted her chronometer. “Twenty-eight seconds.”

Caper, cheated out of trotting out another Old Rushin chestnut, grunted and nodded. “Standard approach, Helm. Communications Officer! Advise all decks Shore Leave for authorized personnel will commence once we have docked for duration of stay. Keep ear peeled for Base Control docking instructions.”

Merry touched her earpiece. “Ere! They almost beat ya to it, Skipper! Incomin’ from ‘Questris Base!” She toggled a control and a deep female voice came over the speakers.

“Starship Hermes, Equestris Base welcomes you. You are cleared to dock at Berth Seven. The beacon is transmitting on your frequency. Please reduce velocity to zero relative and take up station at one-zero-zero miles. Tugs are being dispatched to warp you in.” Evee scrunched up her muzzle in irritation.

Caper noticed the expression and cleared his throat. “Equestris Base, is Captain Caper of Hermes. Thank you for generous offer of tow but will not be necessary. Advise tugs they may escort Hermes to dock, da?”

“Read you loud and clear, Hermes!” The voice laughed. “Yeah. Well I had to follow the protocols didn’t I? Tugs’ll be along for the ride. Remember, you break it, you buy it! Welcome again and Equestris Base out!”

“Advise tugs same message! Hermes out.” Caper ruffled his wings just a little. “Oi! Like we are club-hoofed civilian ore barge! Make Captain proud, Lieutenant. Ship is yours.” He settled into his seat and watched the viewer calmly.

“Roger that, Captain, and thank you.” Her hooves danced across her board as she turned her gaze to her personal display. I could see on my readouts that she gave the impulse engines a fraction of a second burst, just enough to give the Hermes headway relative to the Base. “Impulse engines on standby, switching to maneuvering thrusters…”

The Main Viewer didn’t carry all the vectoring information that was on her screen, constantly displaying range to target, orientation, and rate of closure. It only showed Berth Seven center on the screen growing larger and aligning itself for docking. My display, though, showed it all. Evee’s hooves danced on the thruster controls, adjusting our relative position, braking, and tweaking our final velocity in the three-dimensional ballet that left the Hermes at a dead stop within the confines of the open frame of the berth waiting for the docking clamps and umbilical to make us fast… all in less than two minutes!

“… But next time give me something challenging to do, sir.” Evee sat back, looking smug. The tugs peeled off, one of them doing a slow barrel-roll by way of a salute!

To Capers credit he sat quietly the whole while looking almost bored. But I just knew that he’d been tracking her progress the whole while though his view of her display was blocked. Strictly seat-of-the-pants flying, no doubt a Pegasus thing!

“Duly noted, Lieutenant.” He nodded and grunted, pleased. “Next time we should do loop-the-loop right into dock backwards to show what real flying is, nyet?”

“Hay! That sounds more like it! Let me back us out and we’ll really give them a show…!” he hooves poised above her board mischievously.

“Hah!” Caper whinnied a short laugh. “But why should we embarrass watching civilian crews any further? Base Commander will not thank me for making other ships look bad, da? Well done, Evee.” He gave the Maretian a brief, paternal smile before swiveling his chair to address the rest of the Bridge in turn. “Secure to dock! Mr. Jerry, please to make ready to put systems on standby and link up to Base systems. Assign work parties to work with Base personnel to put finishing touches on Sensor Systems. Merry! Signal all decks we are docked and in Stand-By Mode. Shore Leave commences at end of watch after ship is secured. Welcome to Equestris, Ponies! Hoopah!” He came to stop facing me. “And welcome Home, Starry-pushka! Beeg plans to see family?” The Bridge smoothly slid into action around us.

“Oh, yes! But I’ll wait for my leave until the Sensors are all done. I Can’t just leave the work just for the sake of my personal enjoyment. After all, I broke them in the first place, it wouldn’t be right. Besides, I don’t know what Daddy is doing right now anyway. And don’t give me that look! He’d feel the same way!”

For Caper was shaking his head, no doubt on the verge of telling me I should just go relax and have some fun.

“Oi! Earth Pony Work Ethic, squared! Would not dream of pointing out that is not wartime any more to such conscientious officer. Suit self!” He shrugged. “Is wise old Rushin proverb that applies, ‘All work and no play makes Ivana a dull Mare!’ nyet?”

“There’s an old Equestrin proverb… that I can’t quote in mixed company!” I retorted. “So when are you planning to take leave, Captain-bubula?”

“Bah!” Caper waved a hoof. “Will wait until Crew has had chance at Leave. Besides, one Base looks pretty much like any other. Is not like can beam down to do sightseeing in any event. I like wings… and everything else… to stay just where they have always been, da?”

“And I’d like Sunny to keep all her, um… equipment intact, too! I’ll pop down and we can do a conference call to introduce her to Daddy from there. Easy-peasy!”

“And why not have Papa come up to Base? Or is Starry-pushka only Equestrin with fortitude to tolerate lower gravity?” The old Pegasus pointed out smugly.

I opened my mouth then shut it with a ‘clop’ before I facehoofed! I sheepishly looked back at him after a moment. “In the immortal words of the sage, ‘D’oh!’”

“See?” Caper crowed. “Captain is genius! Moreover, Science Officer obviously needs break after all if she can miss such simple solution, nyet? Make arrangements for tonight.” He waggled a finger at me. “After watch so Starry-pushka will not feel like shirking duty! Easy like bucking rain from thundercloud!”

“All right! All right!” I conceded. “Why don’t you come, too? Daddy would be thrilled to meet you after all I’ve told him.”

“So legend of Valiant Captain Caper precedes me, eh?” Caper held one hoof up. “But am nothing if not modest Pony! Family reunion is for Family, nyet? Take Good Doctor and Leetle Pooka instead. I will wait for later. Besides, will no doubt be Cutie-Mark deep in datawork at hooves of would-be Czarina Yoemare with overweening sense of efficiency. Goddesses save me from well-meaning, padd-pushing, bureaucrats! Bah!”

However much I liked the old Pegasus, Xantippe is my friend so I felt compelled to say something in her defense, but the words died on my lips as I stared…

Xantippe was standing just behind the Captain, three padds tucked into her right arm and a platter with a steaming cup of coffee and a slice of Bob’s Hermes-renowned coffee cake on it. She stood with politely downcast eyes as patient as a boulder, sometimes that Mare is scary!

Caper, noticing my expression, stiffened a little with his wings partially spread. “Is right behind me, da?” He whispered hoarsely.

“Da.” I nodded to the Zebra. “Hi, Xantippe, I didn’t see you come in.”

The Zebra bowed from the neck before raising her eyes to meet mine. “Hi, Starry. It was not my intention to be a sneak, I was just waiting for the proper time to speak” She gave me a knowing wink. “So that the Captain may enjoy his free time, I’ve prepared these reports for him but to sign. I’ve also brought a snack and some coffee hot, to help him with his weary lot.”

“Ah! Ensign Xantippe! Is so good to see you! Were just talking about how good a job you do with datawork! Da, Commander?” Caper hastened to relieve her of her burden. Merry sniggered (There’s no real privacy on the Bridge!) and he shot the Communication Officer a dirty look.

For my part, I discretely rolled my eyes away. I really don’t like bending the truth, even to cover the Captain’s feathered butt! Just the Earth Pony in me, I guess. Xantippe saved me from having to say anything.

“I am grateful to hear such praise from you, but we all have our jobs to do.” She clasped her hooves over-and-under fashion and gave Caper a polite bow with downcast eyes. Only her black-and-white tail moved, beckoning Caper in closer. When he did so she whispered. “Though you might think me less a jerk if only your work you did not shirk!” Her tail dealt the Captain a discrete smack, hidden from sight by his wings, right on the Cutie Mark! Her face the very picture of serenity she straightened up, the oval gold hoops in her ears swinging just enough to distract the casual observer from the impish glimmer in her eyes. (Though the Mare in my head, in the privacy of her Bridge, was cracking up!)

Hoist on his own petard, Caper could only go over the log entries and reports on the padds with such aplomb he could muster. For the record I didn’t smirk… outwardly, that is!

“Hmmm, all seems to be in order.” He said, thoughtfully. He scrawled his signature on all three padds with a fingertip and handed them back to her. “My compliments, Ensign, when doing this myself always took much longer and with more padds! Must be something to this Yoemare hoopla after all, da?” He smiled wanly.

Xantippe smiled and bowed her head deferentially. “This I knew but I am glad you think so, too. We all bring skills to use on this trip. As for myself, I would never be able to command a ship. Such a task is beyond me, I am happy to function as a secretary!” She took a small step back and bowed again. “Good-bye, Captain and good-bye all! I must trot to answer Duty’s call!”

Trot she did, but her legs hardly moved. Instead, she hustled off to the turbolift with her load of padds using a smooth, shuffling, utterly silent gait with just her hooves with her eyes demurely averted. Neat trick, that! Before the lift door closed, she lifted her face and treated the Bridge to a dazzling smile, the little scamp!

Caper sighed and sipped his coffee. “Oi! When did I lose control, Starry-pushka?”

I made of show of racking my memory. “Hmmm, I dunno… how many stardates in a Terran year again?”

“Hah!” He grunted a chuckle. “A good crew runs self with minimal interference. Is tribute to a Good Captain, da? …Is something wrong, Communications Officer?”

“No worries, Skipper! Just ‘ad a catch in me throat is all. Must be all the hot air on the Bridge eh, eh?” Merry turned and grinned.

Caper shot her a dark look nopony believed for a second! “Maybe should schedule full exam in Sickbay. Is too much to hope that loudmouth Comm Officer gets laryngitis and gives entire Bridge a break!” He made a lip-zipping motion to Merry, who snickered and went back to her board, and turned to Survey the Bridge. He overlooked the quiet smiles and merry eyes somehow before taking another sip, settling his wings.

After a bit he sidled over to my station to lean against the console and enjoy his snack. He offered me some coffee cake, which I politely refused purely on caloric grounds. Not that I wasn’t tempted, Bob really does make a mean coffee cake! (The well-intentioned Mare in my head gave me a pat on the back showing me rather exaggerated pictures of a plump version of me… complete with arrows pointing at my bust and butt. I snuck another thumbtack onto her Command Chair!)

Caper pitched his voice lower and rumbled. “Now am feeling more than a leetle guilty! Yoemare does good job and I do not make things easy for her. Oi! Am getting too set in ways, da?” He set his plate down almost on top of my dynoscanners controls. I slid it off to the side as he continued. “Now that I have free time this evening maybe will run into her on base and buy drink by way of apology. Am nothing if not reasonable Pony, da?”

“Good luck with that!” I said. “All her spare time is tied up with Bob these days.” I winked.

Capers bushy eyebrows shot up. “Oh? Yoemare and Chief? When did this happen? Oi! Am getting out of touch!”

“For some weeks now, probably when you were finding ways to avoid her.” I chided.

“Well… good for them, eh?” Caper leaned back and crossed his arms casually, one of his wings nearly activating my sensor hood. “Will buy drinks for both. Am nothing if not magnanimous Pony, nyet?”

I brushed one of his Primaries out of the way. “Caper, you’re a veritable Minotaur in a miniatures shop! Watch where you’re flapping those things already!”

“Flap, schmap!” He moved his hooves and levered himself off the console. “Commander is jealous for not having glorious set of wings like Heroic Captain… oops!” One of his fingers had triggered a sensor probe of the Base. I tabbed it off pointedly and made to give him my own poke to the Cutie Mark. Given the size of my hoof compared to Xantippe’s tail-tip, he stepped away quickly! This just wasn’t Capers day!

The old Pegasus salvaged what dignity he could. “Perhaps should stretch legs and take stroll around ship while business is slow, da?”

“Good idea! And take this with you!” I handed him his empty plate.

“’Ang on while I lock me board, Skipper!” Merry called out. “There! Yer free an’ clear ta navigate, Boss Feller!” She made a show of shielding her controls with her body until Caper passed by.

The Captain gravely accepted the plate. “You have the Conn, Commander!” He strode away at a dignified pace, not even pausing as he reached out to bonk Merry on the back of her head with his plate. “Chetnik!”

Daddy wasn’t home so I left him a message inviting him up to the Base this evening. Mindful of the fact that he was retired and living on a fixed income, I transferred some credits from out account to his and made a startling discovery!

I don’t do recreational shopping as a rule. Starfleet provides my room and board aboard ship so I don’t have many expenses outside of charitable donations and stipend I send to Daddy every month. My trip to Earth was made by doing a working passage, exchanging my services for a berth whenever I could. I only booked passage on civilian transport a couple of times, travelling Third Class at that. Even so, the trip had seriously depleted my savings. (As I mentioned before, I grievously underestimated the cost of living on Earth!) I knew I wasn’t broke but when I accessed our account, I saw that my estimate of funds was off… by about five decimal places! I braced Sunny about it while we made our way out of the ship that evening.

“Sure n’ I set up a joint account after th’ Ceremony.” She said. “Community Property n’ all!” She waved a dismissive hoof.

“Do you always carry this much in your account? Wow!”

“Our account, Lassie!” She smiled impishly and bopped me on the end of my nose. “N’ I only put in wha doesna go into savings n’ retirement, ye ken!”

“Wow!” I repeated. “I’ve never been rich before!” Then the Equestrin in me came out. “I doesn’t seem fair that I should be spending this, after all, I didn’t earn it.”

Sunny coughed delicately into one hoof. “Well, if I were th’ kind o’ Pony who be a-fishin’ fer compliments, I’d say that puttin’ up wi’ th’ like o’ me would qualify as earnin’ it, would it no?” She fluttered her improbable eyes at me.

I gave her a squeeze as we strolled, arm-in-arm. “In that case there should be another zero or two by way of ‘Hazard Pay”!”

She stuck a ladylike tongue out at me before continuing. “Well ye got it whether ye like it or no. ‘Fer better or worse’ n’ suchlike! Spend it while ye have it, Starry-ma-Dear. Money’s nae good just sittin’ in Bank, it does more good t’ be a-puttin’ it back into circulation. Prudently, o’ course! Anyroad th’ time’ll come when it’ll all be fer naught. Credits’ll be a-goin’ th’ way o’ th’ Dodo sooner or later!”

I blinked. “Say what now?”

Sunny patted my hoof condescendingly. “An’ there ye are wi’ yer Starry-Eyed Cutie Mark! Ye really should sit in next time I meet wi’ Accountants. In a century or so yon Federation o’ Pastures… or Earth, at least… will be havin’ a cashless economy what wi’ Replicator technology bein’ what it is n’ all.” She shrugged.

“Issa true!” Tyllae, who had been riding in my mane, stuck her head out and chimed into the conversation. “When Tyllae has lotsa goodies Tyllae does not keep alla for self, Tyllae shares with Tyllae’s friends! Credit-thingies must be like cookies an candy, right, Sunny?”

“Oh aye! Close enough, anyroad!” Sunny nodded. “Now have a care to not be messin’ up Starry’s mane, ye little flit! N’ mind yer ribbon!”

Besides giving me a mane-do Sunny had touched up Tyllae’s and added a final addition in the form of a pert little red bow in the little tyke’s tail, much to the delight of the little Fey!

Tyllae popped out and flitted back and forth in front of us, flaunting her new accoutrement. “Issa oakey-dokes, Sunny! See? Tyllae is being very, very, very careful of Tyllae’s new pretty-pretty!” Mindful of my mane, she settled into the crook of our arms. “Tyllae is bee-yoo-ti-full like Sunny now! Yep, yep, yep!”

I tabled my thoughts of Federation Economics for the moment. “Hay! What am I, a pile of gravel?”

She patted my hoof with one of her tiny ones. “Aww! Tyllae was trying to be mean! Tyllae means that Tyllae is pretty in same way Sunny is now. Starry is pretty, too, but mostly from inside!”

That must have made perfect sense to her, but I quirked an eyebrow at it. The Mare in my head gave me a jab for being vain and I sent her a rude message that made her plop down in her Chair in a sulk.

“Starry! Be nice to Little Starry inna head! Little Starry is just trying to help Starry be a better Starry!” The little Fey scolded.

Both my eyebrows shot up and I stopped dead, jerking Sunny to a sudden stop!

“Oof!” She complained. “What’re th’ two o’ ye goin’ on about? Faith! Ye came nigh t’ dislocatin’ me shoulder, ye great lump! N’ who th’ bloody heck is ‘Lil’ Starry’?” She eyed us both closely.

I glanced about nervously at the crewponies coming and going around us. “It’s nothing, really. Tyllae is just being Tyllae, right, Squirt?” I gave the Fey a Meaningful Look.

Tyllae looked, as she would say, ‘confoozled’! “Tyllae is always Tyllae, Starry! Who else would Tyllae be?”

I started walking again. “And there you are! And no matter where you go there you are, right? Come on, I want to get a mug of good, Equestrin cider! Or maybe two since we’re so rich… for a while, anyway!” I added lightly, hoping I’d changed the subject!

Sunny was silent, but she kept sneaking me looks as we walked. Tyllae flitted up and carefully inserted herself onto my shoulder between us, looking troubled.

“Starry…? Was Tyllae bad? Tyllae is sorry!” She nuzzled my ear.

I reached up to give the little thing a rub with a forefinger. “If you were bad I wouldn’t be about to get you a brownie, kiddo, now would I?”

As I had hoped, she perked right up!

“Oooh! With nuts an lotsa frosting, too? Yummyyumyum!” She clapped her forehooves together in anticipation.

Sunny, however, was not so easily distracted…

“’Nuts’, forsooth!” She snorted delicately. “I dinna ken wha’ yer a-tryin’ t’ gloss over, Lassie…”

“It’s nothing I want to talk about Right Here, ok?” I lowered my voice to a whisper. “It’s … embarrassing from an Equestrin point of view.”

Sunny shot me a concerned look. “A ‘Questrin cultural thing is it yer tellin me? From th’ sound o’ that wee Starry in yer noggin I was beginnin’ t’ wonder if I’d best be settin’ ye up to see Doctor Fisher.”

I patted her hoof. “Four out of five voices in my head assure you that you don’t have to… the fifth one just keeps muttering ‘Kill! Kill!’” The Mare in my head facehoofed and Tyllae giggled, making me wonder exactly which display she thought was so funny.

Sunny’s tail is quite long enough that she’s more than able to use it to give me a swat on the bottom, as she proved at that moment!

“Tha’ is no funny, Starry! Yer sense o’ humor leaves summat t’ be desired at times, ‘specially now.”

“Well, if I was the kind of Pony that would fish for compliments, it could be argued that living with an Alicorn would be enough to earn anypony a Psych discharge!” I collected another swat for that.

“Just tell this… all jokin’ n’ jestin’ aside, mind!” She fixed me with one cocked eye. “Is there summat t’ be concerned about?”

Sometimes, I’ll freely admit, I just don’t know when to quit! I stuck my free hoof inside an imaginary jacket and adopted a cheesy, nasal Prench accent. “I geev you my word as the Great Neighpolean, ma petite Sweet! Vive le Revolution!” The Mare in my head resigned in disgust and plopped back into her chair. She waved to the Little Fey who… unsurprisingly by now, waved back!

Sunny rolled her eyes to the ceiling in an appeal to the heavens! “I wonder if they’re a-serving uskebaugh in yon? Ye’re enough t’ drive a mild-mannered Mare such as mesel’ t’drink!”

“Said the Pony in denial over her snoring! …And since when are you suddenly ‘mild-mannered’? Talk about delusional!” That being my third strike, I collected a third tail-swat while she muttered some Byrish malediction under her breath.

While the Hermes lay in the open framework of the spacedock it was connected to the Base by way of a temporary access tube snugged up to our shuttlecraft hanger on the forward underside of out Saucer a short distance above the Main Sensor Dish called, by Terrestrial Naval Tradition, the ‘gangway’. One of Little Rocks’ Security Ponies, a wine-red and yellow Stallion named Dandelion, stood guard in a new uniform complete with phased-balefire pistol and tricorder. It was his job to log arrivals and departures to the ship. We got in line and gave him our information. Tyllae got a huge kick out of hiding in my mane until the last second, emerging like a jack-in-the-box and waving ‘Hi-hii!’ madly. The young buck jumped three inches! ...Faeries!

The wide, even by Equestrin standards, access tube led us up into the receiving area of the Base proper where another Security Guard, this one a nine-foot tall Equestrin in a russet jumpsuit, was doing the same thing. (It wasn’t redundant, just thorough! It’s how we do things!) Instead of standing with a tricorder, he was sitting behind a counter with a terminal on it. The constant, colorful flow of midget Ponies was keeping him amused… you could just tell it from the bemused expression on his otherwise homely face! He didn’t carry a weapon, not even a stun prod. Since it would have taken a direct hit from a balefire cannon to put him down he’d have all the time in Equestris to tie any malefactor into a square knot. When we rolled up his eyes flicked to me immediately, earning him a disgruntled look from Sunny who normally steals the scene in social situations.

“Hay there, Equestris!” He boomed quietly. “Welcome back! My name’s Hematite.” He reached out across his counter and we gripped forearms. “Good to see you!” He released me. “Now who have we here?”

“I’m Commander Starry-Eyes, this is Doctor Solar Cross, and Tyllae.” I said pleasantly, wondering if the little Tyke would pull her surprise again.

Hematite regarded the two of us, then leaned from one side to the other in an effort to find that third Pony. “You two outrun the other one?”

“No.” I couldn’t help but smile. “She’s right here. Suddenly she’s being shy! Come on, Squirt, you’re going to hold up the line.”

I reached up to my mane and withdrew a goggling taupe-and-pink handful of Fey and deposited her on the counter. Tyllae sat and stared up at Hematite with her head cocked.

“Ooooh! And Tyllae thought Starry was big! Are all Ponies here as big, Starry?”

“As big or bigger, kiddo.” Sunny was staring at me. I rolled my eyes away, embarrassed. “I’m, uh, short for an Equestrin… but still within acceptable standards!” I hastened to add. “…Barely.”

My discomfort was wasted on Hematite, whose complete attention was focused on the little thing in front of him. He peered down at the little Fey who waved back up at him.

“Hi-hii! This one is called Tyllae. Tyllae wants to go onna Shore Leave with Sunny an Starry, please!” Her smile faltered a little under Hematite’s scrutiny. “Tyllae has permission! Cappy Caper said so, yep, yep, yep! Ask Starry!”

He stared at her for several long seconds… wondering, no doubt, if he was actually seeing this. Eventually he pointed a finger as long as the Little Fey and addressed me.

“Oo-er!. I’ve got to ask… just what’s going on?”

“You’re not seeing things.” I assured him. “Check your database. She’s attached to our Crew. She is a Faery and, believe it or not, she comes from Earth.”

“Why does that not surprise me?” He said as he called up the information. He read the entry and shook his head ponderously. Earth is a continuing source of amazement to Equestris! “Well, put me in the tanks I’ve seen it all now! You’re not thinking of taking her down planetside, are you? She’d end up flatter than stale beer in no time. She’s breaking the laws of gravity just sitting there!”

“S’okay!” Tyllae chirped. “Tyllae never studied law! …What? What did Tyllae say?”

Sunny hid a grin behind a hoof as Hematite’s’ ears drooped.

“I walked into that one, didn’t I? Tell you what, stop over at the Aluminum Horseshoe… just take a right and it’s at the end of the concourse by the observation bubble… and have a round on me. Tell Chrys to put it on my tab. Nopony’ll believe me otherwise!” He hooked a thumb down at Tyllae and winked. “Better make it a short beer for her, eh?” Even Tyllae laughed at that one. An instant later she flitted up in front of his nose, making him squint cross-eyed at her.

“Tyllae thanks Really Big Hem-a-tight Pony! Tyllae thinks a shorty-short beer here would still be enough for little Tyllae to swim in!” She hugged his nose, which made the Big Buck almost blush.

“Na, then! No more rough stuff!” He warded off the affectionate Fey with one hoof, one finger brushing a foreleg in what… in the case of a frivolous Terrestrial Pony… could have been interpreted as a caress. “Don’t get stepped on, Short Stack! The three of you have a good time!” “Ok, who’s next?”

We hustled off onto the Concourse, a truly impressive expanse and a pleasant change of pace from the borderline claustrophobic environment I’d been living in for so long, and took in the sight of Equestrins, Ponies, Tellarites and a smattering of weasel-like Rigellians as well as a very occasional Andorian or Vulcan milling about going about their business or leisure within the huge, oval enclosure. The floor was beige and textured to allow an Equestrin to get a good grip in the Earth-normal gravity. The walls were cream-white and were adorned with abstract art. (Imported from elsewhere. Equestrins are too pragmatic to indulge in that sort of nonoptimal activity… officially, that is!) Various luridly colored storefronts and eateries that eagerly vied for attention, plying delicacies and goods from a dozen worlds took up the vast majority of the perimeter. Here and there, the white-and-silver columns of help terminals stood with small groups around them, announcing the arrivals of ships and offering directions along with informational tidbits about the planet below. There were tables and chairs in discrete groups scattered around, the tops and seat cushions colored mossweave slate-green. The middle third of the Concourse sported a second level and Promenade where the more expensive restaurants resided under a transparent aluminum dome. The crown jewel of the Concourse sat in the very middle, a raised bit of landscaping sporting a riot of flowers, flowering shrubs, and a venerable Maple tree raised from a seed brought from Earth seventy years ago rooted in a priceless reservoir of honest-to-Luna, actual dirt composted from ground Equestrin rock and organic materials. By now, the top of the tree projected well into the upper level and there was a list of Ponies as long as the Hermes eager to get a cutting when it grew to the point where it got close to the top of the dome. (Like any other foal, I’d put myself on the list years ago. Ah, the optimism of youth!) Benches lined the edge of the planted area and a low-level forcefield had been erected long ago to keep a tempted Equestrin from nabbing a blooming souvenir. (It hurts if you try to shove an arm through it… or so I’m told! Ahem!) Three free-floating sunglobes, tuned to Terran frequencies orbited it, dimming dutifully every night to make it grow.

Tyllae, as soon as she saw it, gave a happy cry and would have made for it at Time Warp Speed had I not snatched her out of the air before the first flap! To keep her from teleporting I told her about the forcefield, reminding her that she’d just bounce off like a little pink tennis ball and probably end up getting stepped on.

“Awww….burrs!” The disappointed Few sulked. “Whatta point having nice, nice, nice flowers an trees if nopony gets to touch an smell?” She gave the scene a longing glance. “Issa not fair, Starry, nope, nope, nope!”

Sunny gave the little thing a poke in the ribs, making her giggle despite herself. “Sure n’ they didnae make th’ place wi’ wee Faeries in mind, dinnit they? But ye have t’ remember, me little lass, that there’s nae dirt fer growin’ t’ be had on ‘Questris. That’s what makes th’ plants so precious! If they let everypony pluck a bloom whene’re they fancied they’d be a-havin’ naught but stubble left in no time flat. This way they kin at least look at th’ pretty things. Dinna think bad o’ Starry’s kinfolk now! An’ ye kin be sure yon plants never had it so good a-growin’ in th’ wild, would ye no say?” She gathered the little mite for a nuzzle.

“Tyllae unnerstands, Sunny!” She tore her gaze away to nuzzle her back. “If there was just one special flower in alla forest Faeries would keep safe so everypony can enjoy. Issa same thing, right, right, right?” She looked back at the bright blooms with a sigh. “Tyllae will be good an will be happy just to look. …But Tyllae sometimes gets alla sick for Home. Tyllae will get to play in flowers an trees someday, right Sunny? Right, Starry?” She looked at both of us in turn with eyes that just broke my heart! The Mare in my head looked around for a phased-balefire gun to take the forcefield down. Finding none, she shot her sleeves back and vowed just to punch it until it overloaded! What’s mere pain to an Augment, anyway? I gave her a gold star for good intentions and told her to stand down.

Tyllae waved a foreleg at my head. “Thassa all right! It would be bad of Tyllae to hog alla flowers when nopony else was allowed anyway! Tyllae will be good an lissen to rules an be strong, strong, strong lika Awg-mint!” She threw her chest out and tried to make herself look bigger (I was really touched!) while Sunny gave me a speculative look, wondering just what Tyllae was responding to.

“You just keep being you, kiddo!” I said softly, giving her a tickle under her ribs that popped her bubble and sent her into giggles again. “Caper is right, you’re tougher than you think you are. No Augment could do what you did and not become a basket case! Come on! Let’s get a brownie or two!” My eyes strayed across the Concourse, looking for the Aluminum Horseshoe. A bit of color on the upper level caught my eye, though, and I had a real Moment of Inspiration. Up there, in Posh Territory between two very expensive restaurants, was a shop that sold potted plants to very well-hoofed Equestrins!

“Hey, Sunny! We’re stinking rich, right?”

“Oh, aye, as these thing’re reckoned. Why, ye got yer eye on some expensive lingerie then? Maybe a sapphire-studded corset or summat…?” She waggled her eyebrows naughtily but I caught her eyes and tilted my head toward the upper level. She followed my gaze, puzzled, and then broke into a… well, Sunny grin! “I think I see where yer a-goin’ wi’ this! Sure n’ yer just th’ very best kind o’ Pony, aren’t ye?”

“What? Whahoppen? Whatta lookin at?” Tyllae peered around, Sunny’s body luckily shielding her gaze from what we were looking at.

“I just found yon ‘Aluminum Horseshoe’ is all!” Sunny winked at me and picked the Fey up. “All by my lonesome wi’ no Augmented eyes s‘tall! Come along, Tyllae dear, n’ we’ll see about a wee snack. I’ve a fancy to try a mug o’ th’ cider Sunny’s been a-goin’ on about!” She picked up the Fey and tucked her into her mane.

“Get me one, too! Real Equestrin cider! Make sure it’s Claybottom’s or Tumledown Lode, they’re the best! I’ve got an errand to run then I’ll be right back!” I waved them on. “Be good, Squirt, and I’ll bring you a souvenir!” I gave Sunny a kiss and sent them on their way.

Now I’d been on the Upper Concourse before as a Filly, window shopping like the vast majority of foals who could never afford the stuff up there. I had a minor flashback as I got off the escalator and had to shake off the lingering feeling that I was trespassing here somehow. Well… I certainly had the credits behind me now!

There was a clothier up there right next to my primary objective and I couldn’t resist just going in for a peek at what they had. Sunny’s suggestion was still running around in my head though I thought I’d turn the tables on her. There was no way I could buy anything so outrageous for myself, but maybe I could find something here for Sunny.

The ‘Intimate Apparel’ section was at the back of the store, discretely screened from casual view from prudish Equestrins… who were filing in and out, many with fancily-wrapped packages in their arms! I suppressed a smirk as I slipped in to view the displays.

Wow. Just… wow! My time off-world hadn’t made me as sophisticated as I thought I was! I thought back to that day on Earth in the lingerie department with Sunny. I had been scandalized by what I saw then, here I was simply… shocked! I just couldn’t believe that Equestrins would be actually wearing these kind of things! I really must have led a sheltered life, after all!

The majority of the things were made for Equestrins. I’ll freely admit that I spent quite a bit of time looking at the faceless equiquins modeling the latest in salacious fashions. But, try as I might, I just couldn’t see myself wearing any of that. My naked body has always been enough of an aphrodisiac for Sunny, bless her! …Still I had to (Guiltily!) admit that it would be fun to try something out.

The Mare in my head was giving me a reproving look as I toyed with the idea so, by way of a compromise, I got myself an emerald-green satin choker garnished with a light green beryl that I fancied brought out the color of my eyes. She clucked, disapproving… but admired her reflection in the holomirror I put in the Bridge when she thought I wasn’t looking! When I commented on it she hurried to remind me of just what I came in for in the first place… the old fraud!

Only a few of the displays featured Pony-sized apparel. One in particular caught my eye. The equiquin was a Pegasus but that was close enough to an Alicorn that I didn’t see any problem. The outfit was a bustier of gleaming white satin adorned with lots and lots of yellow topazes and came complete with matching long, white gloves and a simple bikini-style bottom. I examined it from all angles and was daydreaming of just how angelic Sunny would look in it when the Equestrin sales attendant trotted up. The look of gleeful anticipation in her eyes of a sure sale made me feel sheepish but I didn’t really mind. I was sure Sunny would just love it! I had an anxious moment while we hunted for something in her exact bust size. As it turned out, I got the last one in her size! It was expensive… damn expensive (I could have booked a weekend at the South Pole, the Garden Spot of Equestris, for that kind of money!) …but I didn’t flinch.

I left the boutique feeling like I needed a drink and made a note to have Tyllae sleep over at Xantippe’s or even Sekkack’s one night really soon. I considered dropping into one of the Posh Restaurants but killed the idea, after all, I had a nice, cool cider waiting for me downstairs and I’d spent enough time away from my primary goal already.

Fyng’s Fashionable Florals was just next door and as the muted gold doors opened, I was barraged by the scents of dozens of alien blooms. It reminded me of driving through the woods outside of Alicorne Keep!

Given the prices of his stock, Fyng’s was never a crowded place. There were a few Equestrins and Ponies here but they were mostly just looking and reveling in the scent. I must have a sign hovering over my head because old Fyng himself gravitated his way over to me almost at once as if he could just smell a sale!

Fyng was a member of a species that called itself ‘Ferengi’, a diminutive people who, apparently, specialize in commerce. He was short even by Pony standards, not even clearing five feet in height. He was furless and sported a pair of huge ears that seemed to meld right into his skull on either side of his shrewd, tiny brown eyes. He wore something like a fringe skullcap that left the top of his relatively huge, flattened head bare. It matched the rather ornate, metallically-colored clothing that covered him completely. In his case, this consisted of a gleaming, coppertoned vest, a pale gold, long-sleeved shirt sporting a paisley-esque design (With gold threads incorporated in it!) that had big, shiny gold cufflinks on it. His trousers were metallic bronze with a stripe of gold filigree up each side. Even his shoes, at the end of his awkward-looking, partially bowed legs, were gold with huge gold buckles worked up in some outlandish design. His posture was hunched; his broad nose looked as if it had been shoved up into his face, wrinkling his scant forehead and his snaggled needle teeth (One of the biggest ones inset with a gold nugget, go figure!) shone at me as he smiled ingratiatingly. I was at once fascinated and repulsed by the character and the Mare in my head put her shields up.

“Good evening, Madame! Any welcome to the finest collection of exotic plant life in Equestris! My name is Fyng, I own all this and I am at your service!” he reached up to touch my arm in a paradoxically firm, yet fawning way as he prepared to steer me toward choice bits of botany. I found myself suppressing an urge to bat him away against the far wall! He led me around to look at all sorts of things, starting with some Zinnias and progressing along to Posies, Daffodils, (“Pretty and nutritious, too!” He expounded.) Violets, Bluebells, some tasty-looking Daisies, and even a collection of Dandelions in full bloom. …I was beginning to get hungry by the time I stopped him.

“Look, I’m not trying to set up a snack farm. I want a nice size flower or maybe a flowering shrub. Something with a fair amount of greenery as well as blossoms. I have a friend who would like to dress up her cabin onboard so I don’t want anything huge or spreading. Do you have anything like that?”

“Ah!” His eyes roved to the packages with their store logo tucked under my arm. “Someone with discerning… and expensive… tastes, eh?” His weaselly eyes flicked back to my purchases before tipping me a confidential and knowing wink, his whole manner exuding a cloying sense of familiarity that irritated me. “Then let us dispense with these mere baubles! Allow me to show you some of my more refined wares!”

This being Equestris and all, I was tempted by the selection of roses. (The Colonists had named their ship, The Rose.) The idea of Tyllae running the gauntlet of all those thorns gave me second thoughts, though. I downchecked the collection of cacti on the same grounds. The Equestrian Fly Trap just creeped me out by virtue of the fact that it was a meat-eating plant! The Giant Sunflowers, though intriguing, were just a little too giant. (Despite the fact that they had tasty seeds!) He led me through a selection of gnarled and twisted bonsai trees that I’m sure would have had the little tyke weeping over their tortured shapes. The vines and ivies were nice, but a little plain for what I had in mind. He never once talked price… none of his plants displayed any… but I did pick up on an undercurrent of repressed excitement on his part as we went along. No doubt we were coming to the higher-end stuff!

Now we were coming into the alien (To Earth as well as flora-deprived Equestris!) plant life. Fyng grew a little more animated as he extolled the virtues of his more exotic specimens.

“Now here I have some very lovely Denebian Water Lillies, truly beautiful blossoms wouldn’t you agree, hmm?” I looked askance at the accompanying aquarium and took a discrete sniff at the musty, swampy smell that came from the heated, cloudy water.

“I’ll even throw in a collection of symbiotic minnows that keep the plant from growing over large as well as providing cleaning for the tank itself. Quite the bargain!” He added.

From the smell I deduced that the fish droppings provided fertilizer as well! While I had to acknowledge the biologic handiness of the arrangement, I had to decline.

“Too messy. Besides, I’m not over-fond of fish.” It’s an Equestrin bias, I’ll admit. However harmless these things were I’d instinctively would be afraid of losing part of a finger when I cleaned the tank!

“Ah! So you two females are sharing a cabin, eh?” He displayed those crooked teeth in what he thought was a confidential smile… while the ghost of a leer flitted across his face!

“That’s right.” I turned to loom over him. “Is that all right with you, pal?”

Fyng backpedaled a step and looked away guiltily before resuming his sales pitch. “I meant nothing! None of my business! Let me see now… Something low-maintenance yet attractive…” He rubbed the lobe of his left ear in thought, then, “Aha! The very thing! Perhaps I could interest you in this Vulcan Sunflower. It’s one of the jewels of my collection!” He steered me to a nearby display to distract my attention while the Mare in my head toyed with her phased-balefire controls.

It was a pretty plant, for all that he snarked me off. It had very dark green, oval leaves with smooth edges set below a sturdy stem that rose three full feet to support a very pretty eight inch wide bloom of flaming orange and scarlet. I noticed that it was in its own enclosure, a hotbox as a matter of fact. If I put this in our room, Sunny would end up with a heatstroke. After all, Tyllae would never go for the idea of her new plant having to stay in a box with her outside!

“No, thanks! I need something that will thrive in Earth temperate zone conditions.” I said, feeling just a little wistful about having a plant that would grow in a decent temperature. (On Equestris we like things about ten to fifteen degrees warmer than most Ponies!)

“Just what I needed to know!” Fyng seized upon the new information with zeal! “Now that I know your environmental requirements I can show you the perfect floral accoutrement for your quarters! Feast your senses on this!”

He scuttled over to a rather deep planter, the depth of soil seeming to be way out of proportion to what lay above the surface. There, in the pebbly soil, sat five squat, twisted… shapes! It’s difficult to say what exactly they looked like. My first thought was that they were stumps since they were flat on top. Upon further examination it turned out that they were hollow. ‘Rotted stumps?’ I wondered, ‘What was this, a mushroom garden?’ I tried to look into the stumps but it was too shadowy in this corner. I wondered, irritably, why every other display in this place had its own floating sunglobe except this one?

“You’ll just love this!” Fyng gushed. “Just let me…” He reached past me, leaning in too close for comfort, to activate the sunglobe that lay tucked in the corner of the planter. At his touch, it rose a foot and a half in the air and began to shine with a yellow-orange light. I couldn’t place the spectrum. Fyng cackled to himself, rubbing his hands together. “Just watch! Any second now! Sssh, sssh, sssh!” He admonished, a finger to his leathery lips.

I’d taken a step back as the little so-and-so rubbed up against me. I was working on putting just the right touches on a suitably acid comment when I was distracted by the sounds coming from the planter. That’s right… sounds!

As the light waxed I became aware of a low, puttering coo. Each of the tubes was making noise, all of it variations on the same purring chirps that sounded avian one moment and mammalian the next. As I watched, something began to stir in each of the hollow stumps. I had a brief impression of delicate, feathery fronds in red, green, and yellow stirring inexplicably within their confines… Then, suddenly, there emerged from each hollow something that looked disturbingly like a four-fingered hoof done up as a low-budget puppet! Feathery foliage lined the backs of the ‘fingers’ while the ‘hoof’ splayed itself open revealing a soft, mossy surface with a bit of something different in the center of each. One looked like a bit of fresh carrot, another was just wet and sticky, another had what looked like a gobbet of meat and all of them mewled and piped while the ‘fingers’ fluttered and trembled.

“This one is my favorite!” Fyng pointed to the one in the near corner, the one with the red fronds and the meaty-looking spot in the center of its ‘palm’. He accessed something on the back of the display and brought out a fistful of objects. They turned out to be dead mice in stasis! He put one in the center of each plant, smiling benevolently as each plant folded itself around the treat with a trilling sound! He saved the biggest mouse for the red one, feeding it delicately in while the fronds actually seemed to stroke his bony fingers! “I call him ‘Bo’! Give him your regards, do! He doesn’t bite!”

I backed away, my hands well clear of the planter. “I’ll leave the Bo-regards to you, if you don’t mind.” I managed to keep the nervousness out of my voice as the plants, attracted by my movement, turned as one in my direction and splayed themselves and began to coo and twitter!

“Oh look! They like you!” Fyng crowed!

“It’s probably a case of cupboard love. I’ve got to look like the mother of all feasts to them!” I eyed my new fan club dubiously.

“Oh, no, no, no, Ma’am!” Fyng protested. “This species has the ability to perceive subliminal impressions of people. They only come out for people they feel comfortable around. Watch!” He turned and scanned the store until he saw another, less fashionably dressed Ferengi not busy with a customer. “Vyr!” He made an impatient gesture, “Get over here! At once!”

Vyr was a younger Ferengi, if the number of folds and wrinkles were any indication. I honestly couldn’t tell if they were related by blood or simply species except that the way he ordered the young one around seemed to indicate a degree of authority mere employment just didn’t grant! He shuffled up quickly, ducking a nervous bow to both Fyng and myself.

“You called, Fyng?”

“Yes! Stand here next to this planter!” The elder Fehrengi pointed imperiously to the precise spot.

If her ears weren’t’ so firmly embedded in his skull, Vyr’s ears would had drooped at least as far as his shoulders did. “You want to demonstrate those wretched plants again, don’t you? Why me all the time? Why do I have to chance losing a commission just so you can show off to the customers?”

“Because,” Fyng bared his teeth slowly to Vyr. “I own the shop and you work for me… for the moment, at least!” His eyes flashed. “Now come-here-and-help-me-with-a-customer!”

Vyr sighed and sidled up to the planter and glared into it with an expression of disgust.

“Go away, you miserable things! I swear I’m going to feed each and every one of you a poisoned snuff-beetle!” He spat out.

Each and every plant flailed and warbled in distress then retreated back into their holes, Bo having to spit out his mouse in order to fit!

Fyng beamed proudly! “See what I mean? Now who could say no to a plant that genuinely likes you?” He paused a moment to make a shooing gesture to Vyr who scuttled away looking very put-upon.

I took advantage of the pause. “I could! Look, I don’t want anything mobile, carnivorous, insectivorous, or cannibalistic! I want a plant that eats dirt at a Terran temperate temperature and just sits there looking pretty while I water it occasionally.” My eyes roamed around the shop and came to rest on red-glazed stoneware pot of soil from which a slightly droopy stalk arose a good yard high. It was festooned with feathery, narrow, serrated leaves that were a bright green-yellow. On closer inspection, though, the leaves were rather limp. Several fronds lay on the soil. Nestled among the leaves were numerous swelling bulbs, four of which had already unfolded into a blossom as big as Tyllae colored orange and dark amber-brown in a tiger-striped fashion!

I pointed at it. “How about that one? What is it?”

Fyng peered around me to see what I was pointing at, a look of irritation pinching his face after failing to make what he thought was a guaranteed sale! He perked up immediately!

“You do have discriminating tastes! This is a Rigellian Geeva plant native to a world called Lerull-Four, in the Rigellian Combine, fifty-seven light-years from here. It’s an ornamental shrub and blossoms as long as the conditions are right. Wonderful plant, the Geeva! Beautiful flowers!” He stroked one of the blooms and a petal fell. The smile never left his face, though it became more desperate!

“Is that so?” I mused. I didn’t dare touch one of the delicate flowers with my big fingers but I did kneel down to turn the pot around and get an all-around view of the plant. A dead flower had been turned toward the wall. It dropped as I rotated the planter. I ignored it…after giving Fyng a significant look (He cringed!)… and leaned in to sniff one of the blossoms. Not being an expert in botany I had no idea what to expect. I’d only had experience with a few Terrestrial flowers and most of them came from the area of Alicorne Keep.

My first impression was that it smelled… sweet! Not honey-sweet but, rather, sugar-sweet. That made sense. What better way to make yourself popular to pollinating insects that by giving them what they want? There was another component to the scent, though. I mulled it over as I took another sniff, the familiar combination of smells eluding me as I tried to associate them with flowers that I knew. The closest thing I could compare it to would be a compromise between cinnamon and ginger. The Mare in my head facehoofed! A cookie! A flower that smells like a cookie! Of course the Universe has such a thing in it! She shook herself and hunkered down to the task of not letting the little skeeve rob us blind! Tyllae was going to get this plant one way or another, but I wasn’t going to let this twisted little rascal take advantage of me while doing it!

I made a point of looking not too impressed. I poked one of the branches, feeling the limpness of the leaves. “I don’t know… this plant is looking rather droopy.”

“Not at all! See? It’s just fine! Wonderful plant, the Geeva! Beautiful bloosoms!” Being so much closer to the base than I was, Fyng obviously thought I’d never see his paw sneak in to prop the sagging plant up. He didn’t count on Augmented perceptions, though.

“You’re propping it up!” I accused.

“Oh no! Not at all!” He snatched his paw away and continued on smoothly. “Madame is only misinterpreting the Geeva’s present state. It is currently in a… dormant state as a result of coming back from a particularly prolonged and draining round of growth and blooming!” He gave me a sincere… and a little panicked… look.

“Is that so?” I cocked a skeptical eye down at him.

“Most definitely! Why, with a little water and a bit of time to recover, this plant will explode into vitality! Vroom!” He made a two-pawed pantomime of bursting growth by way of example.

“Pal,” I crossed my arms and glared down at him. “This thing wouldn’t ‘vroom’ if I put four thousand grains of dilithium in the pot! Face facts, Fyng! This thing is looking mighty poorly.”

“Oh it’s not poorly…” Fyng quickly searched for a word, “…It’s pining, pining for its old pastures!”

“Pining? This thing is practically passed on!” I carefully parted the leaves to look at the stem. “I’ll bet the only reason it’s standing up is that somepony nailed it into place! The poor thing is about to shuffle off this mortal coil to join the rock-humping Choir Invisible!” I had raised my voice just enough to attract the attention of the other customers.

Fyng glanced around and took in the looks directed our way. “Madame please! Let us be discrete!” He lowered his own voice a bit and gestured me closer. I bent down with my hooves on my knees to hear what he had to say. “I, of course, am willing to make a discount to a Mare in Uniform in tribute to your valiant service.” He babbled. “I’ll hardly recoup the cost of acquiring such a unique specimen but I could let this go for a reasonable and fair sum of…” His gaze wandered away from mine and drifted to the loose, rolled collar of my uniform that had sagged forward. I chucked him under the chin and hooked a thumb up to my face.

“I’m up here, Bub!”

His eyes snapped up to mine without missing a beat! “Eight thousand credits!” He squeaked!

I got down on one knee so I was closer to eye level, giving me an excuse to straighten my posture …and to deny the little wretch the chance of any more ‘sightseeing’! I put one comparatively huge hoof on his back close to his neck. I resisted the urge to use him like a maraca despite the urgings of the sometimes bloody-minded Mare in my head.

“Come, Fyng. Let us reason together! I don’t want to buy your entire shop and the starship to take you home in retirement. I’m interested in just one plant. That one!” I turned his head toward the Geeva and back to me. “Now let’s look at the facts as they are presented, shall we? Wherever this thing came from, it’s plain to see that it’s hardly the jewel of your display. As a matter of fact, it’s sitting off the main floor behind another display! And it obviously has been here for a good, long while.” I reached out with a forefinger and ran it through the dust that had collected and stuck it under his nose for inspection.

Fyng shot a dirty look at his partner in botanic burglary who cringed and moved out of sight! “That’s not dust, it’s pollen!” He protested.

“Fyng, Fyng, Fyng!” I gave him a friendly shake with each word, turning him into a snaggle-toothed metronome. “Look, I’m willing to take this thing off your paws so you can put some really fast-selling stuff in here! An expert like you surely knows that in just a couple of weeks at this rate that plant is only going to be useful as compost. I’m doing you a favor. But…” The poke I gave him in the ribs that would have made Tyllae giggle made him flinch, instead. “I’m not going to pay full price for such a bedraggled specimen. Now, let’s hear a more… realistic figure. Ponies are listening, Fyng!” I gave him a pat on the back that staggered him, “Show them what a shrewd and fair businessperson you are!”

Fyng wasn’t …entirely… intimidated. There’s a core of duranium even a Ferengi! He shook my hoof off and straightened his clothing to reestablish his dignity and buy time to think.

“As I said.” He began. “I’m willing to offer a generous discount to Starfleet Officers! But I can’t be expected to take a loss simply out of the kindness of my heart, now can I?” He slipped me a patronizing grin… while he wrung his paws together, trying to gauge just how much he could wring out of me. “After all there is the cost just to get this lovely plant as well as my overhead to consider. The rent I pay just to keep this shop alone is enough to make you weep! And yet…” He paused to make a show of thinking. “I could let this one go for four point nine kilocredits. A fair price, all things considered!”

I rubbed my jaw. “I don’t know. I don’t want to buy something that’s going to die in a few days… Tell you what! We have some Botanists aboard. Let me bring one over to look the poor thing over to have a look at it. They’d be able to tell me exactly what the thing would be worth. I’m sure they’d be more than happy to do the same for your customers, too! Just think of how appreciative they’d be to know just how scrupulous you are in your pricing!” I reached behind me for my comm.

Fyng grabbed my arm reflexively… I let him get away with it.

“Now, Commander! There’s no reason to bother so many Ponies with such a simple, straightforward transaction! I’m sure we can arrive at a compromising figure all on our own, eh?” He tried, almost successfully, to hide the glint of panic in his eyes. “Make me an offer!”

“Well…” I leaned back and put my hooves on my hips. “I can respect that it had to cost something for someone to hop out of a shuttle with a shovel and nab a plant. But you’d be paying rent and so forth if you had one plant or a thousand, now wouldn’t you? I’ll take this thing off your paws so you can put in something more profitable for…” I considered a moment. “Five hundred credits.”

“That’s larceny!” He squeaked.

“Not if it’s cash-and-carry, Fyng old pal! What do you say?”

“The dirt alone is worth more than that!” He protested.

“Then sell me the pot and dirt with the dying plant thrown in as a gesture of goodwill. If worse comes to worse I’ll find a seed or something to plant in it while we’re cruising! Make it six-fifty and we’ll call it a deal. How about it?” On an impulse I scritched him on the far-side earlobe. He squirmed like he got gooseflesh!

“And if the plant does live?” He asked, clearly distracted by the touch.

“Why I’ll show it off to everypony I meet in all of space and tell them I got it at Fyng’s, the place to go for ornamental plants! I’d be doing your advertising for you free of charge!”

“Well….” He dithered. Experimentally, I gave him another scritch and the little crook seemed to melt.

“Nine hundred ninety-nine!” He sighed.

Scritch, scritch. “Seven hundred!”

His eyes closed halfway. “Nine hundred.”

I lowered my head to look him in the eye… and pinched his earlobe! “Seven-fifty.” I squeezed a little harder. “And I don’t give you an impromptu piercing!” I whispered so low that Tyllae would have had trouble picking it up. Fyng heard it loud and clear, though, and snapped back to attention at once! He made a token effort at shaking off my hoof but I held him fast with just enough strength to show him that, in my own way, I meant business too! He straightened his clothes and tried to look casual.

“Done and done! It will be a pleasure to get rid of that thing anyway. I just can’t stand that smell!” He fumbled out his store padd and set up the sale, passing it to me when he was done.

I docked my credit chip to it. “Fan-tastic! Just have it delivered to the Hermes and they’ll make sure it gets where it had to go.” I entered the information and handed it back to him, forgetting to undock my chip.

“I thought you said it was ‘cash and carry’.” He grumbled.

“Consider it an inexpensive lesson in the nuances of Pony slang, Fyng old pal!” I gave him another thump on the back.

He staggered and looked over the padd. He tapped out a few commands and finalized the sale, undocking my chip and handing it back to me. “Thank you for your custom, Madame, and for the lesson as well! Teaching goes both ways, eh?” He shot me an odd, triumphant look. “ Now, if you will excuse me, I have other patrons to tend to. Good day, Madame, and feel free to stop by again to exchange more knowledge!” He smiled his crook-toothed smile then scuttled away to harangue his clerks into packing up my purchase.

I was so pleased with myself that his last words didn’t register with me until after I left the shop. Just before I got to the escalator I stopped dead and pulled out my chip to review the last transaction. My chip was still interfaced to his padd when I handed it back to him and he made a point to undock it before giving it back. I stared at the readout… The little fink had slapped a fifteen-hundred credit delivery charge to send my plant three thousand feet!

Ferengi have a reputation for being cutthroat businesspeople… and I just found out why! I read the facsimile invoice and took in the notation, ‘All Sales Are FINAL’, with a sigh. Oh, well! Tyllae would be happy beyond belief anyway. And I did get the thing for about a third of what he was asking for it. …I still felt like a noob, though.

Author's Note

...Caper would accuse me of writing a Rushin novel!

Equestris and Badlantis were two legendary nations in ancient Pony legend. Equestris was a Terrestrial Paradise inhabited by enlightened Ponies while Badlantis was home to a race of particularly vicious race of Dragons. The two countries were hereditary enemies evenly matched in Magic and armed might. Both lands were overwhelmed by earthquake and floods caused by Evil Magic called up by the Badlanteans to aid them in the conquest of their ancient foe. The Colonists were making a statement when they named their world after the Perfect Society of Equestris... an atypical thing for the notoriously pragmatic pragmatic Augments!

Badlantis is a giant, rocky world four times the size of Equestris possessing surface conditions that make the smaller world seem like an Earthly Paradise, indeed! The gigantic Primary of this double-planet system is the source of the rampant vulcanism that makes Equestris the mineralogical treasure chest that it is.

A special note concerning the Augments of Equestris. Unlike the Ponies of Earth, they only have one palette consisting of deep chestnut-brown fur and black manes. The only distinguishing features they posses... other that their imposing physiques... are the random white markings on their bodies that typically are only large enough to cover the extremity of a single limbor accent a face. The Equestrin Colonists were recruited from the North-east of Bittian and retain a relatively subdued (Compared to others in this story! *coughs delicately into his fist*) accent very reminiscent of the Yorkshire Dales of our own Earth. By and large they are a restrained and taciturn lot not given to public displays of emotion. Not that they are unfriendly by any means, they are just very restrained... especially around strangers! They are fiercely proud of their Colony and almost rabidly proud of their Earth-Pony work ethic.

Khan and Green are NOT held to be Augment Role Models on Equestris. In their own way they the Equestrins can be considered to be an analog to the Pilgrims who came to our New World. The Colonists were keen to display to viability of Augmentation by example, not conquest.

How many TOS fans remember the 'Beauregard Plant'? And... any similarity of Starry's Floral Shop encounter to a certain sketch involving a deceased avian lifeform in a Pet Store is, uh,...purely coincidental! Yeah, that's is! ...Don't tell Mr. Cleese, please!!!! ;)

Chapter Twenty six- Best Shore Leave Ever!

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Best Shore Leave Ever!

The Aluminum Horseshoe was easy to find, it’s doorway framed by a twelve foot tall downturned representation of its namesake. Equestrins and a few Ponies were passing through it in a pretty constant stream and, as I drew closer, I could hear Equestrin folk music (Mainly fiddles, accordions, and deep vocals.) wafting out. I was suddenly thirsty for cider!

I didn’t think it would be hard to spot Sunny! Alicorns stand out even among Ponies, let alone a crowd of giant chestnut-brown and black Equestrins. I stepped inside and spotted her straightaway in a booth along the righthoof wall. In here, as on the Concourse, the seating arrangements were mostly Equestrin-sized so her hooves were swinging a few inches off the floor as she looked around at the oversized crowd. She saw me about at the same instant and beamed a smile, the bangle on her horn flashing in the light of the lamp at her table. On a plate before her sat half a donut bright with multicolored sprinkles. Tyllae, wearing a napkin like a poncho, sat by her elbow if front of the remains of an Equestrin-size brownie. The little tyke waved a forehoof madly as I came to sit next to Sunny with my packages.

I collected a smooch as I settled in. “What, no cider? You didn’t have to wait on my account!”

“Sure n’ it’s on its way now, innit? I’m on me second mug, bonny stuff that it is, it bein’ so warm in here!” The station was kept even warmer than I kept our cabin which made it borderline shirtsleeve temperature for us Augmented types!

“Oh.” I looked around sheepishly. “I didn’t know they had servers here.” I spatted Sunny’s hoofs as she peeked inside the larger box. “Hay! No peeking! It’s for you and I’ll give it to you later… in private!” I whispered.

“Ye actually went clothes shopping? N’ fer me?” She squeed and tried to sneak another peek. I moved the boxes beside me out of her reach. She giggled like a filly and just then I noticed there was a tell-tale pink flush to her muzzle.

“How many ciders did you have?” I asked. “…And you tell me to watch my drinking on Leave!”

Sunny fanned herself and gave me a feeling-no-pain smile. “Well t’was an honest mistake! I ordered mesel’ a cider but didna count on bein’ served a braw, great aquarium o’ th’ stuff now did I? I didna want t’ look like a piker so I drank it down. Th’ next one, though, is gonna be half size or I’ll be a-leavin’ this fine establishment on a shutter! Och, but ye make a mighty fine cider hereabouts!” She giggled again and gave me a nudge. “’N I’m no so far gone t’ recall ye werena a-goin’ clothes shoppin’, me fine Dear! Ye didna get me a set o’ coveralls so I kin blend in wi’ locals, did ye?” She propped her head on the table and tried to peer around me at the boxes again, giving me another mostly inebriated grin.

“I went shopping for the both of us.” I tweaked Sunny’s pink nose. “You lush! Don’t worry, kiddo! I got something for you, too. It’s a surprise and it should be waiting for us when we get home!”

Tyllae was finishing up her brownie. She scrubbed her chocolaty muzzle with her poncho and swallowed. “But Starry already got Tyllae a very, very, very nice brownie. Starry said Tyllae would get two but the brownies here are very, very, VERY big! Tyllae will have to wait a while to eat another one. ‘Sides, Tyllae does not wear Pony-clothing, Starry! What would Tyllae do with Tyllae’s pretty wings in a jumpy-suit?”

“I didn’t get any jumpsuits! I went…” I glanced around to see if anypony was in earshot and whispered. “Lingerie shopping!"

“Oooh! Sexy-sex clothes!” Tyllae caroled.

“What’d ye get me, a titanium underwire bra so I kin go down to planet?” Sunny laughed and a couple of nearby Equestrins cocked ears toward us.

“Will you keep your Luna-loving voices down!” I hissed, feeling my own muzzle blush and really wanting a cider!

“So what’d ye get fer yesel’?” Sunny gave me a punch on the shoulder. “I always thought ye’d look just grand in a snug little Teddy wi’…”

“Here! I got this!” I said quickly and snatched the smaller box, opening it up enough to give them both a look to keep them quiet. As an attempt to deflect attention away from us it was a failure. Tyllae shook off her napkin and fluttered in a circle around my head as I opened the box. Sunny squeed louder than when she…well, it was loud!

“Oooh! Pretty-pretty! Tyllae likes shiny stonies!” Tyllae clapped her forehooves in midair.

“Verra nice! I’ve got t’ hand it t’ ye, Starry! Ye’re a-learnin’! Sure n’ ‘tis just th’ perfect accent fer yer lovely self!” She was in the process of lifting it out of the box to admire it and more than a few Equestrins nearby were about to sneak a glance when I clapped it shut again!

“Sunny! Not in public!” I blushed which only made the two of them giggle louder. The Mare in my head turned off her Main Viewer and hid in the turbolift. I wished I could join her!

“Oh, Starry!” Sunny gave me a tipsy kiss on the cheek. “If there were more ‘Questrins like ye, there’s be fewer ‘Questrins like ye! Bless yer wee, bashful heart!”

“See?” Tyllae flitted up to nuzzle my other cheek. “If Starry didn’t wear clothes just like Tyllae Starry wouldn’t have to be embarrassed about wearing any. Ponies should be smart like Faeries!”

“Uh, I’ll go see about that cider!” I made ready for a quick exit but Sunny patted my arm.

“Dinna worry, Love! Drinks’re here! Bonny great service hereabouts!”

I turned to look where she pointed behind me where a broad Equestrin gentlestallion stood, tray in hooves. He was an older buck in a pale brown jumpsuit, no doubt making a few credits on the side to supplement his retirement. He had a white splotch covering his muzzle and he’d paused to turn his head sideways to look with one eye just like…

“Dad?” My heart froze and I almost crushed the box getting it shut! “Daddy?”

He turned his head to look at me with those big, brown eyes and smiled that slow, tender smile that was all for me. “Hello, Blinky!”

He had just enough time to put his tray down as I surged out of my seat to throw my arms around his neck. Daddy squeezed me in a good, solid Equestrin hug that left me breathless!

When he finally put me down we’d become the focus of attention of everypony around us. Not many Starfleet types get hugged in the Aluminum Horseshoe, apparently!

Daddy beamed at all around and tousled my mane. “She’s my daughter and she’s home on leave from Starfleet!” There was some scattered applause and a few mugs were raised in our direction while faces that were normally guarded smiled shyly in our direction. (A couple faces frowned as well, but we all ignored them!) I tried to put my mane back in order as I slid back into the booth, scooting Sunny farther back to make room for Daddy. Tyllae came in for a landing in front of me, prancing excitedly.

“Surprise, Starry! Tyllae was very, very, very good an didn’t blabbermouth ‘bout Jacky-Jack being here! Is Starry surprised? Huh, huh, huh?”

“You betcha I am, Squirt!” I gave her a careful scritch between the antennae that made her giggle! “Daddy doesn’t…or didn’t… get offworld much. Are you working here, Dad?”

Daddy was unloading the tray he’d brought up, placing a tall mug capped with creamy foam in front of myself and him. A smaller mug went in front of Sunny and a teeny cup meant for holding malt vinegar, now repurposed for the occasion, was put out for our favorite Fey. He set out a bowl of hard pretzel sticks before answering.

“Me? No, no! I’m comfortable enough with my retirement that I don’t need a job, Blinky.” Sunny giggled and Dad winked at her. “I’m here because I’m part of the presentation ceremony tomorrow. Since I helped grow those damn crystals in the first place and since my Darling Daughter is part of the Crew the Company is hoofing the bill! It only took a little arm-twisting on my part to make them see that it was only reasonable. Easy as gravel!”

“Aye! I ken how things get done on Bonnie Equestris after seein’ yer Darlin’ Daughter in action!” Sunny giggled. I gave her a bump with my hip!

“Well…” Daddy rumbled, then quoted the unofficial motto of the Colony. “‘We Get The Job Done’, now don’t we? Ladies,” He lifted his mug. “Your very good health!” He blew the foam off his mug and drank deep! I followed suit, feeling very nostalgic about the old custom just then! Sunny slurped hers off, getting a creamy dab on her nose that made her giggle and sneeze. Tyllae flitted in front of hers and blew it off with a blast from her wings like an old pro before dipping her muzzle in! Daddy belched softly before chuckling at the performance.

“You tunnel with an interesting crowd don’t you, Blinky?” He mussed my mane again. …Well, he could muss it all day as far as I was concerned!

“Tyllae was a surprise for us all! I, uh, take it you’ve already been introduced?” I took another big drink, loving the way it coursed down my throat!

“Yep, yep, yep!” Tyllae said. “Jacky-Jack (The Mare in my head squeed at the pet name!) Came over to where Sunny an Tyllae were sitting. Tyllae was all scardey-scared at first! Starry’s Daddy is big, big, BIG! But Jacky-Jack is very, very, very nice!” She darted up to nuzzle Daddy’s cheek before hovering in front of my nose. “Tyllae thought Starry was all grown. How come Starry isn’t Big, too?”

“Luck of the old Genetic Draw!” Daddy boomed, reaching for a pretzel rod and breaking off the last couple of inches with his thick fingers, quite the precision operation all things considered, and offered it to the little Fey. “It’s a condition that crops up in our Family Line on rare occasions. One of my great, great and so forth Grandads was a buck named ‘Pip’. I understand the name means a ‘little seed’ or something like that. The Genetic Potential remains. Little Blinky came within a quarter inch of being aborted but she was too stubborn for that. Put on a real growth spurt in the second trimester, bless her little heart!” He gave me a one-armed squeeze as he crunched.

Sunny quirked a golden eyebrow at the abortion comment and buried her view on the topic by taking a ladylike drink.

“Daddy!” I gave the Old Stallion a dig with one elbow. He leaned over and winked conspiratorially to Sunny.

“Blinky’s always been sensitive about being a midget!”

“I’m not a midget, I’m just short! There’s a difference! Especially on Equestris, damnit!” I killed half of what was left in my mug while Tyllae methodically ground away at the pretzel bit she held in her forehooves. The little flit darted back to her cider and dipped the treat into it before getting trying another mouthful. We have hard pretzels on Equestris!

“Tyllae does not unnerstand. Tyllae is short nex to Ponies but issa okay. Nopony minds little Tyllae being little! Nope, nope, nope!”

Sunny smacked her lips and settled back into her seat. “‘Tis all bound up in bein’ an Augment, I ken.” She stated. “An overweenin’ emphasis on Genetic Purity, if I’m no mistaken. In this day n’ age, too!” She dunked her muzzle into her cider again. I shot her a warning look. There are three things you just don’t publically discuss on Equestris with non-Equestrins; Politics, Religion, and Augmentation!

Dad saluted her with his mug. “Well we like to think we have our standards!” He took another drink and licked the foam off his lips. “It’s mostly Tradition, nowadays. Since we’re back in the Terrestrial Fold again we can afford a little more leeway when it comes to the old personal genome. I’ve been saying that for years!” Daddy leaned back with his arms sprawled across the back of the booth behind Sunny and myself in a classic protective gesture. He cast a defiant look around the room and I noted a couple of dark looks among the Ponies around us. Hoo-buck!

I drank off my cider in a single gulp. It was high time to change the subject!“ Wow! That was good! Who wants another? My turn to buy!”

“Bide a wee!” Sunny took a deep breath and poured the rest of hers down her throat in five swallows, thumping her mug down onto the tray while she took a much-needed breath! She belched discretely and giggled. “N’ speakin’ o’ ‘wee’, I need t’ find Little Fillys Room! Take a peek over all these fine Ponies n’ see where ‘tis, Starry-my-Dear!” She lounged in her seat and offered a friendly… if woozy… smile to the patrons around us.

I stood, gathering up the tray, and did a fast recon. “It’s at the back to the left. You’re going to want the door to the right.” (Sunny didn’t read Equestrin.)

“Left, right!” Sunny giggled again. “Time fer me t’ march, innit? Hup one, hup two! Excuse me, Father Jack-me-lad!” She snickered as she shooed Daddy into standing up to let her out. I had to wait while Tyllae insisted on finishing her own drink before taking the tray back.

“Oi! Fancy meetin’ you lot! Make a ‘ole, choom! G’day!” Merry’s voice boomed out from behind me. I turned and didn’t have any trouble spotting the two Starfleet-red uniforms wending their way toward us. Merry plowed her way through the press clearing a path on sheer force of personality. Jerry-Rig followed close behind before the crowd closed in again. Both of them had Equestrin two-pint mugs in their hooves though, in their case, it was beer rather than cider.

“Noice place, this!” Merry declared. “Properest pub Oy’ve seen since back ‘Ome!” She took in Daddy standing by looking bemused. “Crumbs! Oy didn’ mean ta barge in on yer company! ‘Ere! We’ll just push off, eh? Come on, Jer!”

“Not at all! Join us!” I indicated the unused side of the booth. “I was just going up for refills. Sit down and meet my Dad! Dad, this is Merry, our Communications Officer, and Jerry-Rig our Chief Engineer. Guys, this is my Dad, Jackhammer! Daddy had a hoof in growing those dilithium crystals we’re taking on tomorrow!”

Merry put her beer down and took Daddy’s hoof in both her own. “Put ‘er there, Jack! Roight proud t’ meetcher! Whatcher drinkin’? This round’ll be on me to celebrate!”

“I got this one, Merry!” I hefted the tray. “You can get the next, ok? Back in a couple!”

I returned at the same time Sunny did just in time to hear Merry telling Dad about the fight on the Bridge with Kruse.

“…Me an’ Jer ‘ere did fer the bloody wanker after a bit. Oy went t’ ‘elp ol’ Starry with the bugger what took out th’ Skipper an’ Doc ‘ere. She ‘ad ‘im dead ta rights already, though. All Oy did was muck things up fer her when Oy went jumpin’ in. Got ‘erself a roight nasty cut outa the deal but it didn’t keep ‘er from wringin’ ‘is bloody neck roight there on the deck. Almost felt sorry fer the bleedin’ sod! Almost, eh? Eh?” She took a deep pull on her mug and helped herself to a pretzel rod, her eyes widening at the effort it took to crunch through it! “Croike! ‘ A’s wot Oy call an ‘ard pretzel!”

“Dippit inna cider, Merry!” Tyllae warbled. “That’s what Tyllae does!” The little Fey wafted a fresh stick over to her cider and offered a demonstration before snacking again.

“Moight be sumpin’ to that at that!” Merry dunked her pretzel and chomped experimentally before smiling a wide pub grin! “Score one fer the Little Filly, eh? Eh?”

Daddy resumed his seat after Sunny got back. “You never said anything about being hurt, Blinky! Are you all right?”

“Oh she’s right as rain!” Sunny caroled. “A wee transfusion, a bit o’ protoplaser work and ye’d never know she’d ever had a hair out of place. If I had a shipload o’ Blinkies I’d have to be a-takin’ on a second job t’ justify my existence!” She gave me companionable pat on the shoulder and regarded me with loving, woozy eyes. She was having trouble focusing though… And Daddy called me Blinky!

“Er,” Jerry cleared his throat. “I’m confused. Who’s ‘Blinky’?”

“It’s me.” I sighed, giving Daddy a rueful look. “Daddy calls me Blinky because of the white patch over my eye and because of my Cutie-Mark.” I hooked a thumb to the embroidered patch on my uniform. “Sort of a double pun he trots out whenever I’m with my friends. The Old Stallion’s got a perverse sense of humor!” I gave Daddy a dig with an elbow to jolt him out of his fit of chuckling.

“Parental prerogative!” He boomed. “When she was just a foal that patch on her eye made her look like she was blinking in surprise at everything! She was the cutest little thing in the whole world, my little Blinky!” Whatever was left of my manedo got finished off by another affectionate mussing!

“Damnit, Daddy!” I groused with no conviction, “I’m gonna look like a Tellarite if you keep that up! What’re Ponies going to think seeing me like this?”

“Slag ‘em if they can’t take a joke!” He gestured his mug toward Merry sensing, perhaps, a kindred spirit! “Am I right or am I right?”

“Too roight, cobber!” Merry saluted the Old Stallion with her drink. “Bin tellin’ ‘er for years to let ‘er ‘air down once in a while. Do ‘er a worlda good, eh? Eh?”

Jerry raised his mug with an effort. “Well then! Here’s to Blinky!” Everybody except Tyllae (Who, worse for the alcoholic wear, had settled down in the crook of Sunny’s arm for a nap!) drank to the toast while I rolled my eyes, tossing in an exaggerated blink for laughs all around!

Not used to real cider, herself, Sunny couldn’t stop giggling.

“Blinky, Blinky, Blinky!” She tittered boozily. “Wonder if Blinky had a favorite binky?”

“I’ve still got it!” Daddy guffawed. “Her favorite quilt! Little green squares with yellow stars in ‘em! Wouldn’t go to sleep without it when she was a little foal!”

“Aww, what a wee Darlin’!” Sunny rested her head in her hooves since she was having so much trouble keeping it steady and gazed up at Daddy, urging him with her eyes to dish up some more embarrassing dirt!

I took another quick drink, trying to figure out just how to change the subject again. Turned out, though, that I had nothing to worry about.

“Ere, ow!” Merry squawked. “Watch here yer puttin’ ‘em barges, Mate!” She snatched her hooves out of the way of a big Mare in a pale beige jumpsuit with a purple feldspar patch on her shoulder, one of the ones who gave our group a sour look earlier.

“Keep your puny hooves out of the aisle, throwback!” She snapped. “Go find yourself a Starfleet Pub to do your drinking, you’ll be safer there!” She made a show of pulling her free arm back for a backhoof blow.

Daddy thumped his mug onto the table and stood up slowly, fixing the Mare with a warning glance. “Mind your manners, Feldspar! This is a Public Pub open for all!”

“Sit down, Jack! This is between me and this piece of Raw Stock here!” She glared at Merry who locked gazes with her even as she took a deep draft of beer. “You just cozy up with your freak filly and her collection of sideshow pals and mind your slaggin’ business!”

Feldspar’s ‘Raw Stock’ comment made me feel embarrassed for all Equestris. Even in this day and age there are some Augments who regard the Ponies of Earth with contempt. I didn’t care how much she’d been drinking already, it was no excuse for being so plain rude! The freak comment cut me deep as well. I can’t help being how I am but that was between me and Equestris. I fought a War for Equestris and the Federation and that counted as much as any amount of labor in a mine any day!

Daddy clamped a hoof down on my shoulder to keep me in place. Sunny blinked owlishly trying to sort out what was happening. After a bit she look startled and closed her eyes as her horn lit up. I recognized the Horn Trick she used to sober me up. Jerry looked up and noted the positions of Feldspar’s drinking buddies as Merry spoke up again. The Ponies nearest us went silent while the rest of the Pub reflexively ratcheted up the noise a few decibels.

She leaned over and examined her boot, wiggling her toes experimentally. “Well then!” She said evenly. “No real ‘arm done after all. Just a bitty scuff on me noice, purty boot! Tell ya what! Since me n’ me mates ain’t good enough fer this foyne ‘stablishment what say Oy getcha a drink? ‘Ere!” She tossed the contents of her mug in Feldspar’s face, followed immediately by the mug itself! “’Ave a drink on ME!” She couldn’t reach Feldspar’s jaw from where she stood so she planted a right jab to her solar plexus!

Any other Pony from Earth would have collapsed on the spot to busy trying to draw a breath to do much else. But Feldspar was an Augment! She winced and the air whooshed out of her lungs as she sagged in place but she still stood and tried to brain Merry with her mug. Merry ducked then, hampered by the fact she was still in the booth, hooked a couple vicious swipes at the Big Mares kidneys before scrambling out to take up a fighting stance before her.

Feldspar took a half-step back and shot a glance back toward her table. The two bucks she was drinking with sprang up and Daddy stepped right up to them, relaxed and his voice full of scorn.

“Siddown!” He thundered. “You don’t want any of this!”

The nearby patrons made room for him and stopped their drinking, looking up in anticipation. A few voices called out.

“Give ‘em Hell, Jack!”

“I know a couple bucks gonna miss a shift tomorrow!”

“Mind yer temper, cobber! Don’t ee kill any of ‘em this time!”

Just another night in the Aluminum Horseshoe, apparently! I began to wonder about Daddy, this was a side of him I’d never even heard of before!

“Come on then!” Merry called out, her hooves raised. “Don’t git scared now, ye bloody Nag! Come git some! C’mon!”

Jerry scrambled up, mug in hoof, but I got to my hooves first and barred him with an arm from across the table.

“Stand down, Mister!” I barked.

I got up and stood an arm’s length away from Feldspar. The two bucks at the table dithered in front of Daddy who shook his arms out and balled fists the size of firebombs from Mount Thunderball. They kept still, much to the amusement of the onlookers.

I was worried for Merry. She was small, which could work to her advantage, and she was scrappy. She also thought she was fast enough to keep dodging whatever Feldspar could throw at her and throw kicks and punches from a distance. Drunk or not, Feldspar’s Augmented reflexes would give her the opportunity to close with the Communications Officer. Once she got a good grip it would be all over and I didn’t trust her to stop short of killing Merry. Bar fights are usually just scuffles but Feldspar had a real pickaxe to grind! Fighting Klingons or Romulans is one thing but I wasn’t going to let any of my Ponies die in a stupid bar fight!

“Put it back in the rack, Feldspar!” I said to the glaring Mare. “This isn’t a fair fight. She doesn’t have a chance!”

“’Ell Oy don’t!” Protested Merry. “Lemme at ‘er! This screw’ll be spittin’ teeth for a bleedin’ week!”

“No way. No how!” I fixed Merry with my best no-nonsense Command Look. She lowered her fists…partway.

“Aww! You ain’t no fun since you got ‘itched! ‘Ave it yer way then!” Merry shook her head, disgusted. “Looks like it’s yer lucky day, ya Two-Ton ‘Eifer! Ol’ Starry ‘ere just saved yer loif!”

“That’s enough, Merry!” I turned my eyes back to Feldspar. Why don’t you and your pals call it a day and go talk a walk?”

“Out a bloody airlock!”

“I said that’s enough!” I pointed a finger at Merry. “When we get back to the ship we’ll slip on down to the Gym and I’ll show you a thing or two about Augments! Sit back down and shut up, that’s an order!” I switched that finger to Feldspar. “Like I said, take a walk and cool down.”

There was real hatred in the Mares eyes as she glared at me. She bid me to do something biologically impossible that would be immoral in the religions on a double-dozen worlds. The remark caused quite a bit of disapproving tsking from the onlookers and made Daddy cock his head back far enough to fix Feldspar with a baleful eye. The language made Sunny gasp while Jerry blinked in surprise. A terrible, cold rage swept over me but I kept it in check.

Merry eyebrows shot up in grudging admiration, perhaps, of such a command of the language. “Oh ‘Ell no! You gonna let this wannabe Khan get away with that?” She reared back defensively at the looks she suddenly got from those patrons nearest her.

“Merry when this is all over with you are going to apologize to everyone in this Pub and you are not eligible for any more Shore Leave here until I sit you down to and explain what you should have already checked on before you set hoof on this Station. Khan is not remembered fondly here and you are being positively insulting in applying him to any Equestrin! Am I coming through loud and clear, Communications Officer?” I fixed her with a steely glare.

She gulped and lost a lot of her bluster. “Yer comin’ in foive-by-foive, Starry!” She darted a hangdog look at the Ponies around her. “Shoulda done me homework, shouldn’t Oy? Roight! Oy’m sorry ‘bout what Oy said but this lot…” She jerked her head to Feldspar. “Got me dander up! Tell ya wot! Drink’s ‘r on me till Security runs me inta the Brig!” She scanned the crowded Pub, doing the math. “As long as me credits ‘old out that is!”

Most of the expressions around her softened and there were even a few chuckles, bless their Equestrin hearts!

“Listen to the High and Mighty Starfleet Officer!” Feldspar sneered. “The miserable deviant couldn’t cut it doing honest work so she spent her time looking at stars instead of doing something constructive for the Colony! She slinks off to Starfleet first chance she got so she can feel special living with all the suboptimals. Now she thinks she can just come back here like she was a real Equestrin instead of a throwback freak!” Feldspar spat on the floor at my feet.

I peered at her closely, curious. “What is your problem? Did I steal your fillyfriend or something?” I said it just to needle her but even as I said the words, I recognized something in those hate-twisted features from long ago as some in the Pub laughed…

“Good Galloping Luna! I did!” I actually laughed and some of the throng hooted! This was turning into a veritable nights entertainment! “Grow up already! That was ages ago!”

“Topaz deserved better than a Fourth-Tier drone!” Feldspar snarled. “You weren’t good enough to clean her recycler! You’re one cut above a robot!”

I let that one slide. “So you’re pissed off because your Second-Tier lover decided I was a better lay than you? Sheesh, Feldspar! Let it go!” I felt myself beginning to blush. Sunny says that I’m a prude, well…maybe I am! But this sort of talk isn’t meant for a public venue!

“I’m not a deviant like you! I’m Bi!” She shot a look at the crowd hanging on to every word. It was her turn to be defensive. “What? It’s acceptable!”

“Only since incorporation into the Federation.” I pointed out. “Just like Lesbianism.” I shrugged. “Times change, Societies adapt or die. That’s Optimal Thinking, in case you hadn’t noticed! How did you manage not getting culled with all that crap in your brain anyway? If I’m suboptimal what does that make you?” I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “Do us all a favor and pack it in already, will you?”

Little Rock would (And did!) disapprove that I turned my back on an enemy. While I resumed my seat in the booth there came a flurry of voices!

“Hay!”

“Look out, Missy!”

“Watch it!”

“Ruddy bitch!”

Feldspar tried for my kidneys with a kick. She was either too drunk, too angry, or just too inept to land on target though… As it was there was a terrific impact to the ribs low on my right side. The pain made sparks dance in my eyes but I rolled with the blow and spun to grab that leg or grapple the body-check that followed it. Instead, I clutched at air as the squirming Feldspar floated above me wrapped in the pearly glow of Sunny’s telekinesis!

I straightened up, resisting the urge to feel the broken ribs. I watched Feldspar kick and punch impotently. Without leverage all she could effectively do was cuss, and cuss she certainly did! I clamped down on my anger like I did so often growing up.

“Put her down, Sunny!”

“Like hell I will! Somepony fetch me a ballbat! I’ve a mind t’ give a demonstration o’ what we call a ‘piñata’ back on Earth!” Sunny was grim and unapologetic. “Call me a freak, will she, th’ hyperthyroided Sassenach? Aye, attack my wife? From behind, for all love? Th’ not-so-wee filly needs a good, old-fashioned attitude adjustment n’ I’m just th’ Pony t’ give it to her!” She glared at the helpless Feldspar with real malice in her lovely eyes. I hated seeing her like that! “I wonder how small I can make this thing. D’ye fancy gettin’ made into a beach-ball, ye monster? I’ll squeeze ye like a rotten grape till yer bloody eyes pop out! I’ll…”

“Sunny.” I kept my voice low and reasonable. “She’s helpless now. How fair is that?”

“N’ how fair was it t’ attack ye when ye weren’t a-lookin’?” Sunny shot back, quivering with righteous anger.

“It wasn’t. That’s why I want you to put her down. We’re going to have this out here and now. This is Equestris and we don’t need magic to take care of this. Put her down. Turn it off. Stay out of the way. I got this.”

Sunny held my gaze for a long second. “…Yer a stiff-necked, prideful thing you are, ye ken that?”

“Yep.” I agreed. “It’s part of my essential charm!” I smiled sweetly.

She sighed. “Right! Fine! Have it yer way then. But if she starts t’ savage ye if ye go down I’ll have her back up in mid-air n’ I’ll vivisect th’ bloody cow! See if I don’t!”

“Oh I’m not going down!” I turned to address Feldspar as she was lowered back to the floor. I watched her knees flex as the spell dissipated. She brought her fists up and glared.

“Attack me from behind, huh? Let your petty anger warp your thinking? Indulging in the same pointless prejudices the Founders left behind on Earth? Not very optimal…or honorable… of you isn’t it, Feldspar? What’s in your genome? How much did your family pay to have it ignored? How did you avoid culling? Think you’re Equestrin enough to take a drone, you genetic trash? Put your assay where your ore is! Or are you just all methane, you…”

I watched the raw, primal rage build in her eyes as I taunted her. Given her state, I had to give her credit that she lasted as long as she did. As it was she sprang at me like a photon torpedo! I almost didn’t have time to avoid that first rush. I chopped her on the back of her broad, Equestrin neck as she sailed by. I even managed to add to her momentum with a quick kick to the backside that broke her tail for good measure! For the record, that’s the only bone I broke on her during the whole fight!

Starfleet Close Combat Training teaches that a real fight between two determined, trained professionals will only last a few seconds. Well, Feldspar wasn’t trained in anything other than in Pub fights and I was hampered by the fact that I didn’t want to kill her. I wanted to humiliate her instead! Besides, we were both of us Augments.

Her technique was simply an endless series of bull rushes with the occasional try at a punch or kick when I closed in. Every time I threw her I was scrupulous in making sure she landed in the aisle instead of the cheering patrons. I was usually able to stop her dead with a jab to a nerve cluster or a kick of my own judiciously applied to just the right spot. Not that I had it all my way! She was so deranged with rage that it was sometimes hard to read just what she was going to do next. In a clinch, she bit and gouged and strangled, using every dirty trick in the book of Pub fighting. The only time I used my fists was when she ripped my uniform off from collar to ribs, exposing one of my Primary Assets to public view! I clouted her under the chin so hard she bit her tongue and followed it with a right hook that knocked out two teeth! (Teeth aren’t bones, there’s a difference! Besides, they were knocked out and not broken. So there!)

And, just like that, Feldspar was face down on the floor with her muzzle bent beneath her oozing a little blood from her mouth and nose! Her teeth lay a short distance away and I suppressed a petty urge to kick them away where she’d never find them and have them replaced. Instead, I retrieved them. I rolled her onto her side and tucked them into her breast pocket, wiping my fingers on her shoulder afterwards. Only then did I hear the cheers and clapping from all around. I blushed as I fumbled to pull my uniform back into some semblance of wholeness.

Sunny came to kneel at Feldspar’s side, checking her vitals.

“Aye she’s obviously born t’ be hanged! All things considered she’s in fine shape.” She turned Feldspar’s head gently to one side. “Don’t want th’ Filly t’ choke on her vomit or whatnot. After a bashin’ like that ye never ken what’ll happen.”

“This from the would-be vivisectionist!”

Sunny pointed at me delicately. “N’ that from th’ ships biggest prude! Must be th’ warmth in here keeps ye from feelin’ a draft!” She peered closer. “Or maybe no!”

Clutching my uniform together at the top only made me spill out below and grabbing it shut below made it look like I was groping myself. I cycled frantically between both options several times before compromising on holding things together in the middle of the rip. It still left me more exposed than I liked but it was truly the best I could do under the circumstances!

Sunny thoughtfully partially extended her wings by way of a screen as I slunk back to our booth where I slid as low down in the seat as I could, jerking to a halt with a hiss as my broken rib asserted itself! Sunny was on me in an instant!

“What’s wrong?”

“Her boots had reinforced caps!” I whispered. “She broke a rib on my right side. STOP that!” For Sunny laid her ear against my chest listening for the telltale signs of a punctured lung. To the casual observer it may have looked like an intimate public moment, especially with her arm going around me like that.

She didn’t pay attention, of course, and continued listening and gently probing my side. The rest of the table was getting curious.

“Everything a-ok, Starry?” Jerry kept his eyes scrupulously on mine and nowhere else.

“Blinky?” Dad peered over Sunny.

“Ere! Give ‘em a little room, eh? The Victor’s collectin’ ‘er congratulations from the Adoring Crowd is all, eh? Eh? Croike, you two! Get a room!”

“Hoosh yer gob, Merry!” Sunny snapped quietly. “She’s a broken rib in her. Just sit still a wee, Starry, n’ I’ll have this fixed up in a tick!”

Her horn flared to life and I quickly reached out and grabbed in the manner of snuffing out an old-style candle. Sunny squawked and tried to pull away but I held her firm.

“No Magic! Not here, anyway!” I whispered urgently, giving her head a slight back-and-forth shake for emphasis.

“Ye need Medical Treatment if ye dinna want t’ chance a punctured lung!” Sunny gave me as severe a look as she could manage from her position. “‘N leggo me noggin, ye great Sod!”

I released her. “And I thought you liked it when I touched your horn!”

“There’s a time n’ place for suchlike and now ‘tis nowt!” She reared up and patted her mane back into shape.

“Now who’s the prude?” I teased.

“This might be what they refer to as too much information…” Jerry coughed into one hoof.

Merry guffawed! “Oy wonder if she ‘as to wear protection when they’re gettin’ all up close an’ personal! Know wot Oy mean? Eh? Eh?” She dug Jerry in the ribs. He had the decency to blush!

“Well she does put a thing on it when we go to bed…” I began.

“Ponies!” Sunny thumped the table. “We’re a-gettin’ off-topic!”

“Here, here!” Jerry put in. Merry made a rude noise at him.

“I think I’ll just go see about a First Aid kit.” Daddy was mostly successful at hiding a smile. “The Barpony should have one behind the Bar! Sunny, dear, is Starry going to be ok in the meantime if she keeps still?”

“If she stays put n’ behaves hersel’… aye, she’ll do. For a wee bit, anyroad. But I dinna ken wha else could be wrong wi’ the great, daft lump without I get her t’ Sickbay!”

“I love you, too!” I grumped.

“Hoosh!”

“Well,” Jerry looked resigned. “Getting back to the Ship won’t be a problem. It’s my guess the Shore Patrol, or the local authorities are on their way even as we speak.” He gave Merry a here-we-go-again look.

“Ey! Oy didn’t start it! They want to arrest somepony let ‘em arrest ‘er!” Merry hooked a thumb toward Feldspar who was in the process of being dragged away by her drinking buddies. The crowed muttered darkly as they passed by.

“No you didn’t start it… but I finished it!” I put in, fussing with my uniform …until Sunny spatted my hooves! “I’ll take responsibility. Ultimately it was between me and her, after all. Besides…” I looked up as Daddy returned with the first-aid box as well as the Barpony who bore a tray of cider-filled mugs and something wadded up under his arm. He wore a rumpled, green apron over his brown coveralls. “Unless things’ve changed radically since I’ve been gone, nopony called for Security.” I looked up significantly at the Barpony. “Am I right?”

The old Buck grinned. “Give that Filly an extra ration! Don’t the rest of you worry! However they do things on Earth on Equestris, we take care of our own problems. As far as anypony here is concerned justice was done and the Better Pony won. It’ll be a long time before Feldspar shows her face in here again, I can tell you! I can do without her custom. Hell! Once word of this gets ‘round I’ll have Ponies from all over the station in here to hear the story getting bigger and bigger! The name’s Chrysoberyl, by the way. Jackhammer and I tunneled together many a year. Call me Chrys!”

As a rule, Equestrins are reticent about displaying emotion. (The occasional bar fight, aside!) My years in Starfleet have bred that trait out of me, I suppose. Chrys’s eyes smiled more than his muzzle did, but the grin that tugged at his lips made me forget about the scraping pain in my side!

“Take this, compliments of the House of Chrysoberyl for a job neatly done. You didn’t even break a mug, much less any furniture! Neat job, that! Oh, and about your other, ah, problem…” He rolled his eyes away and presented the bundle he had under his arm. “I keep a sweater back in the Office. Sometimes it gets a little chilly in here since we keep the environmental controls close to Earth tolerances. You take it. It’s an old one anyway, but that’ll just make it more comfortable!” He dithered for a moment and snuck an anxious look at the other tables. Like I said, Equestrins don’t like to look maudlin.

“Welcome Home, Little Starry-Eyes. I’m that glad things worked out for you after all. You had a rum way to go compared to most, but you Got The Job Done, didn’t you? You’re a tribute to the Colony.” He reached out and we gripped forearms. By dint of a minor miracle, my uniform stayed in place!

“Thanks, Chrys!”

“Sure n’ that’s verra generous o’ ye!” Sunny gave him both lavender barrels, nearly staggering the older Buck.

“Thank you very much, Sir!” Jerry almost sagged in relief.

“Oi! Thanks fer the drink, Mate! ‘Preciate it!”

Chrys drew himself back up, shaking off the Alicorn Effect no doubt. “Don’t mention it. From the looks of things,” He pointed with his head at the thirsty patrons plying the Bar. “You’re gonna need all the help you can get!”

“No worries, Mate!” Merry handed over her chip. “Was a bee-yootiful brawl while it lasted, wunnit? Mind ya, wasn’t nothin’ compared to that little set-to with the Klingons! Shoulda seen the Boss Lady ‘ere! Mopped the floor with ‘em, she did!”

I rolled my eyes. “It was just one Klingon, Merry! And you had a hoof in the story as I recall!”

“Might be worth a drink or two if you’ve a mind to tell it up at the Bar, you know.” Chrys suggested. “Bring the Little Flying One, too! Where’d she end up, anyway?” Most of the table checked the floor, under the nearby tables, and the bottom of their boots until Sunny called off the search.

“Which I put th’ wee thing down when things got feisty! Och! Still sleepin’ it off, she is! Tyllae, dear! Come join th’ Party!” She scooped the little thing off the padded bench and put her on the table.

Tyllae got up and stretched fore and aft before shaking herself briskly, smacking her lips a few times before snapping fully awake. Her eyes took in all the fresh mugs!

“Tyllae gets a whole, big cider all for Tyllae? Yumyumyum!” She clapped her forehooves together in glee. A moment later, tipped off by whatever means, she flitted up to my face!

“Star-ry! Whahoppen? Tyllae closes eyes for one little nap an Starry gets all hurt! Tyllae can’t let Starry outa sight for one little minute, nope, nope, nope!” The little Fey zipped here and there, taking in all the bumps and scrapes I collected in a quick inspection tour before fetching up low on my right side. She gasped and flitted up far enough to fix Sunny with an accusing look!

“Sunny! Starry all hurt! Howcome not all healed?”

“Dinna ye lecture me on malpractice, ye wee shyster!” Then she lowered her voice. “They take a dim view o’ Ponies a-doin’ Magic in these parts, ye ken!”

“Pifflesticks!” Tyllae snorted. “What Big, Big, Big Ponies can’t see Big, Big, Big Ponies can’t complain ‘bout!” With that, she worked her way under my uniform. An instant later the pain there was replaced by a growing, soothing warmth, never to reappear again. She wriggled her way up and out by way of the tear in my blouse, puttin me back on public display again! “Tyllae the Number One Medical Assistant to the rescue! Yay Tyllae!”

“Damnit, Tyllae! This isn’t a Strip Club!” I scrambled to cover myself up again! Jerry, Daddy, and Chrys looked away into their drink, the crowd, and the Bar in that order.

But the little Fey refused to budge! Irritated by the lack of applause, maybe, she sat down squarely down on the most embarrassing bit (Well, it rhymed with 'bit'!)and looked up to scold me.

“Hmph! Tyllae thinks that if Celestia an Luna knew how silly Ponies would get about boobies being out inna open, Ponies would still be walking onna four legs steada two! Starry got big boobies, so what? Whatta big deal? If nopony wanna see Starry’s boobies why everypony try to look? Tyllae thinks Ponies all loco inna coco!” She sat up and crossed her forehooves defensively while the Mare in my head hid in the bathroom. Me? I just wanted to die on the spot!

“Tyllae, Lass!” Sunny dabbed the little mite on the end of her nose. “Why d’ye no go up t’ Bar wi’ Merry n’ introduce yer wee self t’ all th’ Ponies? I’d be willin’ t’ bet there’d be a brownie ‘r two in it fer ye! Ye just scamper along now while I get Blushin’ Beauty changed into summat more t’ her likin’! Flit along n’ have fun, there’s a good, wee Fey!” The prospect of another brownie went a long way toward dispelling Tyllae’s sulk!

Sunny led me back to the washroom with the sweater draped across me. A few mugs were lifted in our direction as we passed but most of the eyes were politely averted, much to my personal relief!

The sweater that would have comfortably rested on Chrys’ hips came down to my knees even with my pronounced upper torso anatomy! It looked ridiculous but I loved that turtlenecked gray-green, baggy mass so much like the one I lost my first day on Earth like a Sister!

Between Daddy and Feldspar, my mane was a shambles! I ended up pulling it back into a serviceable ponytail that was held together by dint of a ribbon sliced from my own uniform courtesy of Sunny’s formidable horn. She’d magically annealed the edges to keep them from raveling and had even managed to incorporate the winged horseshoe emblem of the Hermes into it!

“There now! Nopony can say that yer out o’ uniform now can they?” Sunny dimpled at me in the mirror as I admired myself. “Ye look ten years younger in that get-up! A reg’lar Filly-Bopper!” She giggled and gave me a hug in the privacy of the washroom. She’d taken the opportunity, quoting Tyllae’s maxim of ‘what they can’t see, they can’t complain about’ to mend my collection of cuts and scrapes. I felt like a million credits by the time we rejoined the throng.

In the time we were gone the press of bodies had thinned out. Equestrins with any excuse at all had made their way to the Bar to catch a discrete glimpse of the tiny figure that flitted from face to face chattering away at warp speed, pausing only to dart down to bury her face in a rapidly diminishing brownie or to take a pull from a thoughtful straw stuck into a half-empty mug of cider. Merry lounged with her back to the Bar with a drink at her elbow and if any Equestrin managed to ‘accidentally’ step too close to her hooves she was bought off with a wink and the offer of another mug. Daddy, having taken refuge from the press behind the Bar itself, waved us over and the three of us helped Chrys keep up with the sudden increase of custom in the Aluminum Horseshoe. Mugs and mugs later somepony started singing the old Equestrin Pub standby, the Rockfarmer Song. We all of us chimed into the chorus, “Oh I’m a Rockfarmer and I’m o-kaayyy! I work all night and I sleep all daayyy…!”

Times change, even on Equestris! But it so good to know that, contrary to the old saw, one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole barrel!

***

The Geeva plant was a rousing success! Tyllae was ecstatic when we finally got back to our cabin that evening and was busy until early in the morning fussing over Myrl… she declared that was the plants name… and clucking over his condition.

Fyng assumed that, since the plant was Rigellian that the sunglobe would be set to radiate in the spectrum of the star Rigel. What he didn’t take into account, though, was that the Rigellians had extraplanetary holdings beyond their home system. The Geeva plant grows on a colony world called F’lnas under a yellower sun than the blue giant, Rigel. No wonder the poor thing was drooping! The only thing that was keeping it alive was the rest of the lights in the Shop itself! Re-programming the sunglobe was a snap and my standing with our favorite Fey soared to new heights as the sunglobe took up position over the grateful plant!

“Myrl likes, Starry!” She clapped her forehooves as she eagerly circled the planter. “Myrl gonna be oakey-dokes now! Just wait! Tyllae gonna take real, real, real good care of Myrl an Myrl gonna be the biggest, happiest flower onna Her-mees! Yep, yep, yep!” She danced an aerial ballet around her newest Best Friend.

“I hope so, kiddo!” I eyed the plant as another leaf gave up the ghost and drifted down. “I’m no botanist but, uh… Myrl here is looking like two miles of collapsed tunnel! …Maybe we should leave the sunglobe on all night tonight.” I began to get undressed. Sunny was way ahead of me and had tossed her clothes in the general direction of the recycler and had slipped into bed. She yawned and stretched lazily, that thin sheet leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination! Losing a two-thousand credit houseplant suddenly became my least pressing concern! I wondered if Tyllae would mind spending the night chatting up Sekkack…? A moment later, Sunny herself popped that bubble!

“I dinna ken fer you lot, but I’m absolutely fagged out!” She smothered a truly impressive yawn with a hoof. “Have a wee bit o’ faith in yon botanical beastie, Starry-me-Lass! Wee Tyllae has four green hooves t’ be sure!” She reached out to turn on her fan, (A sure sign that she’s ready to sleep and nothing else. …Damnit!) revealing enough of her intimate anatomy to make me sigh. All that cider had got me in the mood for some real… recreating, too!

All of which passed by the distracted Faery!

“Fiffle-faffle! Myrl just making room for new, strong leaves! Myrl gonna have the biggest, bestest flowers ever! Yep, yep, yep!” The little Tyke beamed at the Geeva fondly and took a deep sniff of one of the remaining blossoms, one of the striped blooms coming off even under her elfin touch! Tyllae, supremely confident in Myrl’s recuperative functions, never batted a teeny eye!

“Oooh kay! Come on, Squirt! Let’s get to bed. It’s been a long day and we have the Presentation to attend tomorrow, you know.”

“Gonna see Jacky-Jack again, Starry?” The Fey hopped into her Favorite Sleeping Spot after I settled in, Sunny snugging herself up and burying her head into my shoulder against the light of the sunglobe.

“Count on it, Kid! He’s going to be part of the show! Hopefully we can slip off for some more cider after the formalities are done.”

“Goody-good! Tyllae likes Jacky-Jack!”

I kissed my fingertip and applied it to the little mite. “You made a lot of new friends tonight, didn’t you?”

“Yer both gwin’t’ lose one if ye dinna go t’ sleep!” Sunny growled sleepily. (Chief among Sunny’s pet peeves is being kept awake and being awakened once she falls asleep. Really! She can be a real manticore when she wants to be!)

I gave her bottom a little pinch, making her grope around a moment to pinch something of mine in return. I held my peace but couldn’t keep my body from shaking with quiet chuckles.

“G’night, you two!” I hugged one and squeezed the other. Then, because I just couldn’t resist… “G’night, Myrl!”

Tyllae popped out from under the blanket and caroled. “Night-night, Myrl! Night-night, Starry! Night-night, Sunny!”

“Put a bloody sock in it already, ye bloody night owls!”

Author's Note

Just another night at the Aluminum Horseshoe! Equestris has a more Frontier flavor to the way they do things compared to the rest of the, perhaps, overly-civilized Federation where a scrape in the Pub would result in Courts and Jail! Augments are nothing if not expedient, eh?

This chapter brings me to the end of the pre-made chapters I had in store. (I had 22 when I started posting!) Truly I did not think many folks would have gone for this story and I'm ever so grateful so many people like it! I know this is no Fallout: Equestria but I'm feeling mighty pleased nonetheless! I'll shake a hoof to try to keep up the posting schedule! Many thanks to all and I'll see you in the next installment!

Chapter Twenty Seven- Remembrance, Suspicions, and an Anthem!

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

Remembrance, Suspicion, and an Anthem!

The Ceremony itself was almost anticlimactic. The dilithium crystals, eight perfect specimens of rose-grey, octagonal exo-geology, were formally presented to the Hermes by the Executives of the Red Opal Acres Mining Company. Daddy, looking distinctly uncomfortable in the brand-new formal outfit he’d bought just for occasion, brought the case out and gave it to Captain Caper. Fully half the Concourse was roped off (Though not the half with the Garden! Special though the day was, there would have been a minor riot if all Equestrins weren’t allowed access to the biggest display of greenery on the planet!) for the event. Equestris Newsnet covered the event as well as several Federation Databases, the latter reps having to mount their avi feeds on antigravs that floated over the heads of the Equestrin crowd. A few more daring individuals, wanting more dramatic coverage, knelt beneath the legs of unsuspecting Equestrins to get their pictures! Well… drama they certainly got!

The Mare of Equestris, named Tourmaline, presided over the proceedings with an anxious eye. Her term of office was nearly up and she wanted everything to go just right. (On Equestris, the Mare is chosen randomly from among the First-Tier Citizens. If she does a good job she’s allowed to step down when she’s done. If not she has to stay on. If her performance doesn’t measure up by the end of her next term she gets booted out and is reduced to a Second-Tier Citizen! Hay! It’s no more crazy than some of the political setups I saw on Earth!)

We were resplendent in our Class-A uniforms. Caper wore shimmering yellow with gold trim, his awards and pips adorning his blouse just under his Cutie-Patch. I wore deep blue while Sunny was decked out in a metallic lighter shade of the same as well as the yellow-and-black striped kilt of the Alicorne Clan. (The same thing she wanted me to wear! Well… at least it came to her knees!) Even Tyllae got into the act, Stimbolt having cajoled the replicators to produce a Medical tunic based on the measurement Sunny got complete with a somewhat oversized Hermes patch on her breast as well as a cute Medical-blue bow for her tail. The little thing was in transports of joy and would have happily showed off her ensemble to everypony if Sunny and I didn’t keep her under tight rein!

There was a very nice buffet table set up but I didn’t do it justice. I did a few interviews with the various Newsfeeds and rubbed elbows with the Important Ponies until things began to thin out but I always had one eye cocked toward The Aluminum Horseshoe. I slipped away as soon as I politely could with Tyllae in tow, Sunny having already having made her escape!

I was surprised not to see her when we arrived. Daddy was there, of course, and was chatting with Chrys as the latter plied his taps for the better-than-usual crowd that thronged the place today. Daddy’s collar was open and his sleeves rolled back in an effort to get comfortable, a process that was being helped along by the half-empty cider mug at his elbow!

Chrys saw me first since he was, after all, looking out at the customers! “Now then, Starry!” He drew off a two pint mug of Tumbledown Lode and slid it my way, waving off my credit chip with a quiet “Bugger that!”

“Blinky!” Daddy fetched me a big hug and made a point not to muss up my mane. “We’ve been watching you on the Newsfeeds.” He nodded to the video screen over the Bar then turned his attention to Tyllae who flitted up into his face! “Hay there, Little Gem!”

“Looky-look, Jacky-Jack!” Tyllae trilled, modeling her new ensemble. “Tyllae gotta uny-form just lika Starry an Sunny! Isn’t Tyllae beeyooteeiful?” The little ham struck a pose in mid-air, turning in profile and flirting her new bow! The crowd at the Bar cocked interested looks her way, too polite and reserved in their Equestrin way to butt in on the conversation.

“On you it looks good!” Daddy smiled then tipped me a sly wink. “You didn’t meet my friends here yet. Why don’t you go say hello and introduce yourself? Hey, Bucks! This is Tyllae from my Daughter’s Ship. She’s from Earth, I ain’t jesting nor joking!”

The gregarious Fey zipped in for a landing on the bartop and waved a little hoof! “Hi-hiii! Any friend of Jacky-Jack is a friend of Tyllae! Yep, yep, yep!”

It wasn’t long before there was a nice, Equestrin-sized donut as well as a mug of cider complete with a dainty straw set up for the little Fey as she held forth before an attentive audience of miners and shopponies. She was very taken by one particular old cobber with silver streaks in his mane and a white beard who looked old enough to be one of the First Landers. The little mite had dragged her goody and drink up close and, when she wasn’t dashing around, settling down to rest on one work-gnarled old hoof. The Old Buck was smiling like a foal on Hearthswarming Day and was the envy of the growing throng!

Daddy gave me a nudge and tossed his head toward the end of the Bar. We edged our way down while he fished out his old stone pipe, a truly venerable old thing that belonged to his father made of dolomite and carved to look like a Dragon’s head. Not many of the younger Equestrins smoked and Daddy didn’t get it out in deference to my friends last night. Since it was just the two of us just then he dug out his ‘Baccy pouch and lit up before he spoke.

“The Federation newsnets didn’t interview her, I noticed.” He inclined his head toward the screen which was dedicated to Equestrin news and gave me a Significant Look.

“Well it is pretty hard to get her to stay in one place for more than an Andorian minute, you know! May I have that a bit?”

I took the Old Stallions proffered pipe and had a puff, taking the smoke deep in and dribbling it out slowly while I handed it back. Yep, he was still smoking ‘Rockfarmer Red’! I’d given up my own pipe when I joined Starfleet. It was a fairly expensive thing to do on Equestris and the Ponies from Earth don’t go in for it much at all, ponies like Amber Rose being the notable exception! If I hadn’t more pressing matters on my mind back at Alicorne Keep I would have gotten myself a neat little meerschaum number like his. Sunny wouldn’t approve but between modern tobacco and my Augmentation the stuff would be harmless. I had a sudden inspiration, since I was so flush with credits nowadays, to order one for Daddy. It would get here just in time for Hearthswarming Eve, too!

“You know what I mean, Blinky!” The Old Stallion admonished, discretely wiping the stem before popping the pipe back into his mouth. “You’ve heard what she talks about and what Ponies ask her! It’s true, isn’t it? She’s from Back In The Day.” A swirl of smoke underlined the capitalization of his words before wafting up to the ventilators.

I sighed, letting go of the last of the smoke. “Yeah. As far as we can make out. Sunny checked her DNA and she’s definitely from Earth… and there’s no genetic evidence to show that she’s been cobbled together by somepony else for just this purpose.” Before I realized it, my gaze fell upon the Fey enjoying herself with her newest friends.

“That’s one little pebble that can set off one hell of an avalanche… or a cave-in!” He regarded the little tyke thoughtfully and puffed up another cloud. “What did Starfleet have to say about her?”

“Well, we filed out reports to Starfleet Command days ago. Still no word one way or the other.” I shrugged, trying to fend off an ugly suspicion, and took a drink. “There’s not much they can do about it now. The isotope is well and truly out of containment, right?”

Daddy said just what I was afraid he would say in just the tone I didn’t want to hear.

“…I hope so.”

“Dad! This is the Federation we’re talking about here!”

“Ponies are Ponies no matter what their political affiliation, Blinky!” Daddy admonished me with a wave of his mug before taking a deep pull. “Brush just a few stars out of your Starry Eyes is all I’m saying! Remember, even though we’re Ponies here on Equestris, the Federation had to vote on allowing us to be members. After two centuries there’re still enough Ponies who don’t… or won’t… forget or forgive us for something we didn’t have a hoof in! Now, even after twenty-two centuries, I’d bet my last ration ticket there are some who won’t forgive the Goddesses for abandoning them. I’d even go so far as to say that they’d even had a vested interest in keeping them as a myth! Can you see the Earth President just stepping down without even shaking her mane? And what would the Vulcans, Tellarites or Andorians do if Earth became a Theacracy? Would there even be a Federation? What would the Goddesses have to do with aliens?” His pipe and his rhetoric having gone dry, he set both aside to finish off his drink.

Ok, maybe I had been intentionally keeping myself from dwelling on the ramifications of Tyllae’s existence. Daddy’s musings on the subject, though, shook me. It’s one thing to mull thoughts over and over in your head, but to hear somepony speak the same thoughts out loud is another story! How many Ponies on Hermes were thinking the same things? How long until Equestrins started following suit? …And what about Earth itself? Billions had died in the course of the Eugenics Wars when thirty-thousand Augments made their bid to take over the world…

The Mare in my head gave me a jab! Tyllae most assuredly did NOT want to conquer Earth or anyplace else. All she cares for is being happy with the Ponies she loves. Earth native or not, her motives and outlook just aren’t compatible with modern politics.

…But what of the Ponies who rallied around or against her? I countered the Captain of the Bridge In My Mind. Visions of ‘Believers’ versus ‘Non-Believers’ fought out a bloody pageant on her screens. There is, I reminded her, historical precedent for Ponies to act out of real or imagined fear of the unknown… or change! I paraded the images of the Roaman Empire, Neighpoleon, Hitter ,Stallion Joe, and Chaircow Moo to illustrate my point.

But, if Ponies are so inherently flawed and evil, how is it that Good survives at all? …Unless the Potential was always there to begin with! Depictions of the Reinassance, The Enlightenment, and the Founding of Neighmerican Republic rolled across her screens in rebuttal. A final image came and stayed. An image from long, long ago. Six Mares in a Magical Land called Equestria. The Living Embodiments of what makes Ponies Ponies! Evil dies, the Mare in my Head reminded me, Virtue Does Not! Her point made, she looked insufferably smug and stuck an orange tongue out at me!

I pondered the thought. Those who would lay blame at the Hooves of the Goddesses conveniently forget that the all They are guilty of is giving Ponies the freedom of making Choices. Sometimes, as a Species, we make the wrong choices. We learn, though, and choose wisely more often than not. The Federation and its mandate of Peace Through Friendship is proof of that. Stubborn Earth Ponies, thoughtful Unicorns, decisive Pegasai and a relative hoof-full of inspirational Alicorns ultimately unified a world and held it up as an example for other worlds to follow. All on Faith based on what we were taught Once Upon A Time. Those ideals still hold even after the Romulan War even if the Faith is more of a tradition than a rational fact these days…

I watched Tyllae try her hoof at a game of darts. She would carry the dart in all four hooves, back a good six feet from the throw line, and zoom in to release the thing in a graceful loop like an old-style jet delivering a bomb! The nuances of scoring were beyond her and all that cider wasn’t helping her accuracy, but she was having one of the times of her little life!

I was struck by a sudden thought. The Universe is vast and inscrutable but things happen for a reason. Tyllae happening here and now at this pivotal point in the history of the Federation just seemed too much of a coincidence! The Equestrin in me balked at the concept of omens or signs ...but wouldn’t let go of the fact that she was important somehow.

Part of the reason Ponies went among the Stars was the hope of finding a pair of beloved faces Out There. …Was Tyllae somehow the key to finding Them? Who, if anypony, wouldn’t want Them found? …And why?

“Blinky?”

I, well, blinked and came out of my reverie to find Daddy watching me thoughtfully as he refilled his pipe.

“Sorry, Dad! I was woolgathering.”

He frowned over the expression as he lit up. “Gathering wool? From ‘sheep’, right? Some sort of animal?”

I searched my mind for an Equestrin equivalent. “I was just scaling rust is all!”

“Ah! Gotcha then!” He settled back as Chrys exchanged our empties for full one, refusing Daddy’s chip till he thumped the bar top emphatically with a finger. (Given the choice, Equestrins Pay Their Way.) I pushed his out of the way and replaced it with mine.

“I got it, Dad. I’m a big Filly now. Whatever Tyllae wants just tack in onto my bill, Chrys!”

Dad cocked a hairy eyebrow at me. “Put that away or you’re gonna find out you’re not nearly too big to put over my knee, Little Filly! I can buy my own Daughter’s drinks and the little Flutterbugs, too!”

“Cram it up your assay, the both of you!” Chrys retorted. “This is my slaggin’ Bar and I’ll do what I crumblin’ well please so the two of you sit down and drink up! As far as Short-shanks there…” He gestured toward the dartboard. “She not taking anypony’s last nugget so let her be. Ponies’ll be happy to buy her drinks till the Station spins in. ‘Sides, she’s good for business! Between herself and that shindig outside I’m rolling in credits! Two Tumbledowns coming up!”

“When did you get so cantankerous?” Daddy grumped.

“When did we get so old, Cobber?” Chrys slid the drinks down the Bar and we saluted the Buck with our mugs. I poured a good quarter-mug of foamy, apple goodness down my throat before turning back to Daddy to pick up where I left off.

“I guess I’m just counting on basic Pony goodness, Dad! It’s stood the old Species in good stead for a long time now.”

Daddy echoed Sunny’s words. “Good and Evil are choices, Blinky. A lot of evil is done in the name of good. ‘The portal of Hell’ and all that!”

“The Hell with ‘all that’!” I said firmly.

Daddy chuckled. “You and your Starry-Eyes, Blinky!” He raised a mug to me. “I hope you’re right!”

Our attention was diverted back to the Bar. Tyllae, having done with darts, had retreated back to the Old Miners hoof and composed herself for a nap. The old buck shooed away some of the throng.

“Na then! Give the little ‘un a bit of peace for a bit, will ee?” From a back pocket he shook out a huge red-with-white-polka-dot hoofkerchief and draped it over the napping Fey. Some of the others drifted away reluctantly while a couple picked up a recorder and a squeeze-box, getting ready to strike up a tune for a song.

“Nay, nay!” The old buck jutted his grizzled jaw at them. “None of your new, flash stuff then! Let her sleep to this ‘un!”

He took a pull from his mug and cleared his old throat. Then his quavering, sweet voice rose to sing a very, very old song from Earth itself… from Equestria!

“Blessed Bodies of the Heavens,
Sun and Moon of Greatest Light!
Bathe us in your warm embraces,
Shield us with your Peerless Might!”

The players picked up the tune, being careful to neither wake the sleeping Fey nor to drown out the old singer. The Ponies nearby ceased talking and strained to hear the half-forgotten words.

“Help us to stand firm as mountains,
Doing Right while shunning Wrong.
May we find our strength in Friendship,
Unite our Herd as one group strong!’

The zone of silence grew as a few of the older Ponies began to add their voices to the song. Somepony began to clop his hooves on the Bar in cadence while I held my breath…

“Kindness save our Herd from Sorrow,
Laughter lift us through the day!
Honesty will purge our anger,
Gen-er-ous we’ll be in our ways!”
More voices chimed in as Equestrins, stirred by the lyrics they were remembering, perhaps, were moved to sing…

“Loyal to our Roots remain us,
Day by day the Magic swells!
Love and Tolerance shall lead us,
O’er the seas and hill and dells!”

Ponies stood and came closer and mugs were being swung softly in time to the music…

“In Brotherhood we stand together,
In Sisterhood may we find Grace!
The Sun and Moon will ever guide,
Our ne-ever ending Pony Race!

Why should we fear threats of Discord,
Standing now all here as One?
We shall find our Strength in Friendship,
Unite our Herd as One..Group..Strooong!”

The recorder player ended on a flourish not unlike the birdsongs I heard back at Alicorne Keep. The old buck barely had enough time to wet his throat again before the murmuring crowd urged him to begin again. This time, though, many voices joined him, those who didn’t remember the words hummed the bits they forgot. Voice, hoof, recorder, and concertina rang out together as Chrys muted the newsfeed. My heart swelled! It was so… right!

Amber Rose had observed, once, that the Magic lay in the Third Time. So it seemed so fitting and proper that all in the Bar, from the old Buck to the Patrons in the back booths, came together for the next singing! Tyllae woke up somewhere in there and added her trilling voice, capering and dancing above their heads and ending the Song with a pretty burst of pink and yellow fireworks. Any other time such a gauche display of Magic would have been frowned upon. But she had, I hoped, inspired something in all our hearts.

“I’m right, Dad! I’m right!” I rubbed the moisture from my eyes. Mine weren’t the only ones in need of drying, either! The Old Buck was dabbing at his own with his kerchief as he was clapped on the back time and again.

“The Federation came from this! It wasn’t all forgotten, you’ll see!” I hugged the Old Stallion because I just needed to share what I was feeling just then!

Daddy hugged me back and couldn’t resist mussing my mane! He settled back and began filling his pipe.

“A lot of Ponies do remember, Blinky!” He cautioned, then fixed me with one eye while he tamped his pipe down. “But there’s bound to be some after all these years who’ll want proof. It’s not just Ponies involved anymore!”

We don’t do premonitions on Equestris, we just don’t! Nearly two hundred years of hardscrabble existence made us ruthlessly pragmatic. And yet, watching the little Fey frolic fearlessly with her new friends, I was taken by a feeling of… certainty! The Mare in my head frowned at the validity of that word but I shushed her!

“I think…” I began slowly. “Somehow this mission will give us that proof, though I can’t imagine how!” I shrugged and had another drink. “After all, if They were out on some planet just sitting there somepony… or alien… would have mentioned seeing them. Starfleet would have heard something!”

“But you’re going into unexplored space, right?”

“Space,” I conceded the point. “That has been felt out by Traders for decades. Besides, a lot of that space Out There may already be claimed by somepony, er, somebody else. All we know is that the Vulcans, Tellarites, or the Andorians have never seen Them.” I sighed. “Where could They be, I wonder?”

Daddy raised an eyebrow at me. “I thought you just said you were certain they were going to be in sector you’re headed for.”

“I know! I know!” I smiled sheepishly. “It’s just that the sector we’re headed for, while it hasn’t been thoroughly explored, had been at least been under observation for some time now. Any M-Class planet in there has at least had an unponied flyby if not an actual survey by a civilian ship. Hermes, despite its refit, isn’t set up to make it very far into truly virgin space. The new Constitution-Class ships that can do just that are just now being built and won’t be available for some years yet. We’re all Starfleet has in the meantime… but we’ll Get The Job Done, somehow!”

Daddy squeezed my arm. “That’s my Filly!” Then he grew more serious. “Let’s hope they let you do it!”

“I can’t see Starfleet calling us back at this late date! What are they going to do, censor the whole damn ship? Eighty-five Ponies, one Tellarite and one Vulcan have already seen and heard Tyllae. What are they going to do, brainwipe the whole Crew and two alien scientists? Colonel Green himself wouldn’t have been able to get away with that even in the name of his ‘Greater Good’!”

“There’s always the good old ‘unfortunate accident’.” Daddy put in, then waved his hoof at my stricken look! “I don’t mean they’d gun down the Hermes or sabotage it… though I wouldn’t put it past them if buck came to shove! If I had to do it…” Daddy looked thoughtful. “I’d quietly alert the Klingons of the location of the ship through covert means and let them do the deed! After your little set-to a few days ago I’m sure they’d jump at the chance.”

I gaped at my Dad who sat there smoking grimly. I shut my mouth with an audible ‘clop’ only after I realized it fell open!

“Hol-lee Luna bucking meteors! Daddy! When did you get so paranoid?”

“When did I get to be so old… and how did I make it there?” My Dad, who most assuredly had no stars in his eyes, smiled a grim little smile. “All I’m saying is be careful. You, Sunny, and Tyllae. Be careful for her! After all, you can lead a Pony to Truth… but you can’t make him Believe.”

Shaken, I sat and just thought about what Daddy was implying. The Mare in my head rejected the concept entirely… but she was even less world-wise than I. And it was more than a little disconcerting to realize that Loving and Tolerating the heck out of someponies was no guarantee that they would reciprocate in kind! I beckoned for Daddy’s pipe and he filled and lit if for me then just sat back and drank while I puffed in contemplation. The Old Stallion’s eyes kept what he thought was a covert watch on me as he let me mull it all over. I was, forever and always, his Little Filly and he would always be there when things got rough. But he never once in his life tried to do my thinking for me, we were both too Equestrin to let that happen!

I savored a fragrant lungful as a thought occurred to me. I glanced at the silent newsfeed then took in the crowd at the Bar.

“The Equestrin newsfeed is carrying Tyllae!” I stabbed at the screen with the pipestem. “And she’s certainly making herself well known here! Everypony in this bar is going to spread the word of what they’ve seen here… I puffed and did the math then let a smile light up my face! “Anypony in Starfleet is going to have a rough time trying to stifle all of Equestris, aren’t they? And the story’s going to get out on all the ships that come and go from here each day. I’d say that avalanche has already begun, Dad!” I tried my hoof at blowing a smoke ring, feeling pleased. Well… I was waaay out of practice! I watched the twisting blob of smoke waft up to the ventilators.

“I was thinking the same thing, Blinky.” Daddy nodded. “But Equestris is just one Colony. Hmmm….” He thought for a bit. “Seems to me that if we stoke this furnace it’ll be that much harder to put it out. Tell you what! I know some Ponies who know some Ponies in the local Media. I think we can keep this going. And nopony is about to accuse we ‘sober and unimaginative’ Equestrins of concocting a story, now are they?” He supplied the air quotes with an ironic twinkle in his dear old eyes. Really! Most ponies think we’re right up there with the Vulcans!

“This is going to work, Dad! I just know it!”

I was so caught up in the topic that I never saw Sunny coming!

“What in th’ name o’ all things Pony’re ye doin’?”

Damn Earth-normal gravity! I must’ve jumped four inches on my seat! Hoping to sly, I popped the pipe out of my mouth and tossed it to Daddy who caught it against his body, cussing under his breath as he swatted the coal before it burned through his new suit!

“Hi, Sunny!” … All the leftover smoke puffed into my Love’s face as the last hope of pulling the deception off wafted away exactly like smoke in the wind. The Mare in my head raised the Bridge Shields and braced herself in her chair in anticipation of a force-ten Ion Storm!

But Sunny only looked on in mild irritation her mind, mercifully, being on something else.

“ Och fer th’ Science Officer! D’ye no ken tha’ yon will stunt yer growth?”

“Too late!” Daddy chortled and rolled his eyes to avoid the murderous look I gave him.

Sunny had come in with no fewer than two potted plants cradled in her arms! One was an ivy of some sort and the other was a squat, evergreen shrub. More surprising was the sight of an Equestrin youth, almost my size, standing patiently behind her his arms hardly encumbered by the assortment of packages Sunny had accumulated. Sunny had dragooned him, doubtlessly, to act as a bearer. From the look in his eyes he didn’t mind a little bit!

“Just be a-puttin’ it all up here, Laddy-me-Buck!” She waggled an elbow at the Bar. “N’ gimme yer chip fer a tick so I can gi’ ye a reward fer yer kindness! Chrys, lad, draw this fine fella…” She ran a critical eye over the colt. “A sarsaparilla ‘r a cola or summat on me!”

The young buck, clearly under my Dears’ spell, had reached for his chip reflexively and had it out of the pocket of his jumpsuit before he realized it! He blinked and froze.

“Nay, Ma’am! I was glad to help! No trouble at all…” He stammered.

“Well I don’t know anything about a ‘sarsaparilla’,” Chrys rumbled. “ much less a cola!” He actually shuddered at the prospect! “But if he has a chip that means he’s got a job and he’s a workin’ Buck. And on Equestris workin’ Bucks drink cider! Or beer…?” He cocked an expectant eye at the youth, an empty mug in his hoof.

The young buck took a quick look at what everypony else was drinking. “Cider’d be great! Thank you, Ma’am!”

Sunny offered her chip to Chrys who shooed it away. She looked hurt and was just about to give the Barkeep a dose of her marvelous eyes when Daddy took the pipe from his mouth.

“Forget it, Sunny! He’s being cantankerous today!”

“Slag off, Jack! Here you go, kid!” He slid the mug down the bar. “Pull up a stool and take a load off! That loudmouth over there is Jackhammer, the filly next to him is Starry-Eyes. She’s his daughter! You’ve already met Sunny here! My name’s Chrysoberyl, call me Chrys!” He spotted the taupe-and-pink blur coming our way. “And this is Tyllae, the hardest drinking Faery that ever came from Earth!”

“Hi-hiii!” Tyllae zipped up in front of his muzzle and waved manically. “Tyllae can drink a whole, BIG cider alla by self, yep, yep, yep!” The little mite shrugged. “But Tyllae has to sleepy-sleep after. Still issa pretty good for a little Faery like Tyllae! Ooh! Prezzle-sticks good, good, good with cider!” She zipped off to retrieve one from a bowl and ponihandled one back to hover in front of the young buck, making heavy weather with the burden with her wings going at Warp Speed! “Dippit inna cider an eat! Yummy-yum-yum!”

“What’s your name, kid?” Chrys eyed the black crystal patch with the flowing pattern on the young buck’s shoulder. “Obsidian? Onyx? Jet…?”

“Rhyolite, Sir.” The buck relieved the little Fey of her burden and dutifully dunked it in his cider.

“Yeah, that was gonna be my next guess! Drink up, Rhyolite!”

“I dunno…” Sunny eyed Rhyolite narrowly. “Seems that we’re a-contributin’ t’ th’ delinquency o’ a minor.”

“Oh, but I’m not a miner, Ma’am! I live here on the Station and work in Tech Support. In Sensory and Scanners, mainly.” He explained, looking embarrassed while the rest of us, Tyllae excluded, chuckled.

Sunny’s ears drooped and she rolled her lovely eyes. “Och! Everypony’s a comedian! He who’d make a pun would pick a pocket! Yer all a frivolous lot th’ bunch o’ ye!”

Rhyolite startled and blushed… Sunny has that effect on lots of Ponies! “Oh, no! I mean..”

“Dinna fash yesel’, Laddy! I’m only havin’ a wee bit o’ fun wi’ ye!” She gave the hapless youngster a playful push that made the poor buck bury his muzzle in his mug to hide the blush! I decided to come to his rescue.

“Are we starting a botanical garden now, Sunny?” I poked at the ivy.

“Which these are no fer oursels’, ye greedy thing! These’re presents!” So saying, she deposited the ivy on the Bar and slid it toward Chrys… who nearly dropped the mug he was filling! “Here ye go, Chrys-me-Lad! In ‘preciation o’ th’ finest cider t’ be had this side o’ Earth, grand stuff that it is!” The other pot she deposited in Daddy’s lap with a little-filly grin. “N’ this ‘un if fer yerself, Father Jack!” She gave Daddy a peck on the cheek and batted her lavender eyes at the Old Stallion who was so stunned he nearly dropped his pipe out of his mouth!

“Between the two of us Fyng is gonna retire early!” I commented dryly.

“Oh, I dinna ken! Got th’ whole lot fer two hundred credit!” Sunny said breezily, looking pleased with herself.

I choked on my cider! “What!?”

“Oh, yon Ferengi lad is no so hard t’ get along wi’! Tickle his braw, great ears n’ he’ll be a-doin’ backflips fer ye t’ be sure!”

I remembered how the little runt behaved when I scratched his ear… and suddenly wanted to wash my hoof! Well, between that and Sunny’s eyes, the little fink never stood a chance! Still…

“Sunny.” I fixed her with a look. “You’re absolutely scandalous!”

She put her nose up, looking superior. “Takin’ advantage o’ folks works both ways! Why should th’ wee shyster be a-havin’ all th’ fun? Sairves th’ bugger right!” She twinkled an eye at me. “Just chalk it up t’ th’ exchange o’ cultural nuances!”

“Well… he was asking for it, wasn’t he?” I subsided. “And, thanks to me, he still came out ahead I’m sure… if only a little bit. Maybe he’ll think twice before he tries to swindle anypony else in the future!”

“Aye! Those F’rengi’s need a-watchin’ t’ be sure!”

Chrys was staring at the ivy in awe! “Are you sure about this, Sunny? I know you got a clinker of a deal but…wow!” He touched one green leaf with a tentative hoof as if he were afraid of breaking it. I had to smile! On Equestris, this was a princely gift!

“Oh, aye! ‘Tis our own great pleasure t’ be sure! Just put a wee trellis up there by yer mirror n’ I expect ye’ll have t’ be prunin’ it back in no time ‘tall! Be a bonny conversation piece for th’ Bar, doncha know? Ye’ll be th’ talk o’ th’ Station!” Sunny winked! “’N who knows, ye could be a-rafflin’ off cuttings t’ drive yon Florist daft!”

Tyllae was flitting around the ivy, arranging the leaves just so. She cocked her head at the plant intently then zipped up into the Barpony’s face!

“Giml likes being here, Chrys-Chrys! Likes alla ponies being ‘round, yep, yep, yep! Just needa little light!” The little Fey found the sunglobe and rapped the activating switch with a tiny hoof. She followed it into the air and moved it to just the right distance! “Yes, yes, yes!” She beamed! “Giml one happy, happy, happy ivy now!”

“Uh… ‘Giml’?” Chrys looked at the Fey.

“Giml is ivy’s name!” She pointed to the plant. “Giml told Tyllae so! Yep, yep, yep! Don’t forget to talk to Giml, Chrys-Chrys! Make Giml feel at home!”

The older Barpony appealed to us with his eyes!

“You have to trust her on this one, Chrys!” I couldn’t help but chuckle. “It’s a Faery Thing, it would seem!”

Daddy was looking at is shrub closely. “Does this one have a name too, Tyllae?”

The little mite zoomed over to Daddy’s pot and sat in the dirt to stroke the needles and ruffle the branches.

“Coursa do, Jacky-Jack!” Tyllae scolded, “ Everything alive hassa name. Parta Magic! Biggy-Big Ponies very, very, very smart making all sortsa stoopid machinies but Tyllae thinks Biggy-Big Ponies wrong about Magic. All Ponies have Magic, even Biggy-Big Ponies!” She paused and cocked an ear to the shrub, listening intently for a few seconds while Daddy and I exchanged glances concerning the concept of Equestrin ‘Magic’!

The little Fey suddenly nodded to the plant. “Oakey-Dokes! Tyllae tells!” She waved up at Daddy! “Jacky-Jack! This one…” She pointed to the shrub. “Issa called ‘Pe’! Tyllae told Pe that things all heavy where Jacky-Jack lives but Pe promises to try real, real, real hard to grow an be strong lika Awg-Mints are, yep, yep, yep! Pe wanna be good an issa very, very, very proud to be only Shrub where Jacky-Jack lives! Pe wanna have lots of little sprouts all over Ee-kwes-triss so Jacky-Jack gonna hafta help little Pe an pay special attention till Pe gets bigger!”

Daddy turned his head to cock one eye at the Faery. “You got all that in just a few seconds, Little Gem?”

“Yep, yep, yep!” The little Fey noddled. “Unspoken Words much, much, much faster thana Spoken Words! Ponies have Pony way, Faeries have Faery way! Ask Starry! Starry knows alla ‘bout different ways now. Tyllae issa very, very, very good teacher. Yep, yep, yep!” The little thing looked smug, polishing one hoof against her breast then admiring it. I gave her a poke in the tummy!

“Don’t get cocky, Squirt!” I said as the little thing collapsed into giggles. Then, to Daddy, “Looks like you have a shrub with plans on your hoof, Dad! Don’t ask how Tyllae knows, she just does! Apparently our plant…”

“Myrl!” Tyllae put in. “Usea right name, Starry! Myrl doesn’t call Starry ‘Pony’, nope, nope, nope!”

I rolled my eyes and gave the little tyke another poke! “Fine! Myrl has plans to be the biggest bloomer on the whole Ship!”

“Has anypony else had occasion t’ read ‘Th’ Day o’ th’ Triffids’?” Sunny wondered to nopony in particular.

Rhyolite lowered his head to the Bar and propped it one two stacked fists as he watched the little Fey in naked wonderment.

“She’s telepathic with plants? I knew they were alive but I never knew they were intelligent!”

Tyllae flitted up to perch on the end of his muzzle, making the buck look at her cross-eyed!

“Plants been alive since before Celestia an Luna, since before Faeries, Rhy-Rhy! All alive, all smart! Just in different way is all! Starry tells Tyllae allabouta mossy-moss on Ee-kwes-triss. Tyllae thinks mossy-moss all smart, too, but Tyllae has never gotta chance to talk to any yet! Nope, nope, nope! Does Rhy-Rhy got any mossy-moss inna house Tyllae can ask?” She trotted eagerly up his nose and the poor buck did his best to keep her in focus!

“Me own a plant?” He blinked in surprise. “I couldn’t afford enough dirt to keep an earthworm alive much less a plant!”

“Aww! Too bad! Plants like having Ponies take care of! Tyllae useto help other Faeries keep special gardens deep inna woods inna secret places for when Celestia an Luna to come visit an play with Faeries. It was very, very, very nice! Tyllae was ‘specially proud of one big, purple Lily that Luna…”

“Wait, what?” Rhyolite blinked and gave the Fey a doubtful look. “You ran around with… with the, uh, Goddesses?” He looked up quickly at the rest of us, looking for the smirks that would tell him this was some sort of joke. Needless to say, he didn’t see any!

“Why everypony so surprised when Tyllae says that?” The little Fey stomped a hoof on his nose, irritated. “Luna an Celestia visit Faeries an Ponies alla time back then! Tyllae sees lotsa times before… before…” The little Fey shuddered, then collected herself. “Tyllae went away! Just wait, Rhy-Rhy! Celestia an Luna come back again soon!” (Daddy and I exchanged significant looks!) “ Sunny tell Tyllae allabout when both leave. Celestia an Luna never said never coming back, nope, nope, nope! Ponies anna Biggy-Big Ponies just needa be patient lika little Faery! Alicornies liva long, long, long time! What is little time for Alicornies is long, long, long time for everypony else! Don’t worry, Rhy-Rhy! Tyllae maka sure to tell allabout nice Biggy-Big Ponies! Maybe come back an get some yummy, yummy, yummy cider and Tyllae can show all nice new friends off!” The innocent Fey hovered in front of Rhyolite’s eyes and nodded with antennae jangling!

Rhyolite sat back and searched all our faces simply at a loss for words!

Chrys asked the question the young buck could not…

“She on the level, Jack?” he eyed Daddy shrewdly.

All the ponies within earshot… and Tyllae’s voice carries… had given up the pretense of politely not listening.

Daddy puffed his pipe quietly for a moment before removing it from his mouth. “You’ve been around a while, Chrys. You all have.” He swept his gaze around the faces, his face carefully neutral. “Equestris doesn’t breed fools. We got our hooves planted hard on the ground and that’s a fact. Any you bunch think your leg’s getting pulled here?” He jutted his jaw toward the Fey.

Equestris doesn’t breed fools. Neither does it breed demagogues! Equestrins make their own decisions. Some of the Ponies there frowned, some drank their drinks, a couple rubbed their jaws but none of them looked to somepony else to make up their minds, bless ‘em!

“Tyllae.” I said gently. “You seen awfully sure about that. …What brought you to this conclusion, kiddo?”

“Tyllae been thinking for a long, long, long time now, Starry!” She flitted up to sit in my outstretched hoof. “Tyllae jussa little Faery… only Faery now as far as poor Tyllae knows…” She shook her head sadly then bucked up. “But even a little, lonely Faery is wise enough to see, yep, yep, yep! Tyllae thinks Ponies feel alla lone for long, long, long time now. Ponies maka big, big, big cities an machines an build funny Star-shippies to fly ‘way out inna stars an meet all kindsa peoples. Some nice lika Mr. Sekkack anna Mr. Bogan! Some not, like nasty, nasty, nasty Kling-gone no-goods! But Ponies still foals, Starry! Pony-Tree not that old, nope, nope, nope! Foals still wanna see Mommies again, even if mostly grown-up! Tyllae is all grown but Tyllae would like to see Tyllae’s Mommy again. But Momma is gone, all dead an gone to Other Side an never come back to This One, nope, nope, nope!” She sighed. “But Celestia an Luna not dead, only go away a little! Tyllae come back onna Star-shippy inna this time anna this place ‘cause Tyllae thinks Tyllae can help Ponies. Bigger help than any Faery ever did before! Yep, yep, yep! Tyllae hopes Tyllae is up to job! Tyllae promises to help an promises to try real, real, real hard!” She sketched an ‘x’ in front of her breast earnestly! “Ponies needa find Celestia an Luna an soon, soon, soon! Tyllae thinks Tyllae is here to do just that, yep, yep, yep!” She nodded firmly to me, then to all around as deadly serious as a Faery can be!

Silence reigned all along the Bar. Some Ponies in the back were still talking but I had a feeling that all that would change and soon! First the Aluminum Horseshoe, then the Station, then Equestris itself. From there, who knows? A wind was beginning to blow that would sweep the entire Federation. A wind swept up by, not just tiny Faery-wings, but bigger wings. Much bigger!

The Old Pony at the Bar, Tyllae’s singing buddy, broke the silence!

“Well buck me all to Hell!” He quavered, then raised his mug. “Here’s to Good Times Comin’, Ponies! Am I right or am I right? O-er! To think I lived to see it!” Cautious smiles broke out that grew stronger as they were shared. More drinks were raised and a voice called out.

“Hay! Let’s hear that one again, Dad!”

“Oooh, goody! Come on, Sunny!” Tyllae tugged at Sunny’s hoof. “Gonna since nice, nice, nice song again! Tyllae thinks Sunny knows the words!” She flitted into the air above the throng and she lifted a hoof to be the Galaxy’s Teeniest Conductor!

“A one, a two, a one, two, three…!”

“Blessed Bodies of the Heavens….!”

Author's Note

And so the Mission of the Hermes takes a turn for the Even More Pivotal! What ominous forces lie in wait for the good ship Hermes and its crew? Tune in next time for more STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA!

(And a nice, little shrubbery it is, too! Nothing too big! Nee I say more? *snickers and can't help but to 'Nee!' again!*)

(I'm sure I don't have to provide a link for the Bronies out there for the Equestrian National Anthem v.2. All Hail The Once And Future Equestria!)

Chapter Twenty Eight- The Trouble With Tyllae...

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

THE TROUBLE WITH TYLLAE…

Commanders’ Log, copy to Science Officers Log. Commander Starry-Eyes recording. Stardate 1006.3. On course for Sigma Pegasus Star System at Time Warp Factor Five. All ships systems optimal.
It has been six weeks since we left the Equestris Colony. The Chief Engineer informed me today that the final enchantments for the dilithium crystals we took on at Equestris are complete. In the highly unlikely event of a total power systems failure the Hermes will be able to carry on with but the loss of a day to swap out crystals. In all probability we’ll be bringing them back with us so Starfleet can put them in another ship, maybe one of the new Constitution-Class cruisers! I can’t think of a more fitting passing-of-the-torch gesture from one class of Exploration Vessel to the next!
Little Rocks’ concept of recruiting non-Security crewponies to augment his own Department is developing nicely. Virtually every Pony onboard has been touched up on the nuances of handling a phased-balefire pistol beyond Basic Training. The Security Chief and myself have been giving lessons in medium-level Personal Combat Training…with Yours Truly being set up as a sort of Final Exam! Any Pony that can get off a debilitating mock attack or throw passes. …We’ve got some really vicious.. Ponies onboard! I’m still not quite sure how she did it, but Merry managed to put me flat on my back and was poised to cave in my temple on her second try. …And to think I called her off Feldspar! Unorthodox but highly effective! Speaking of unorthodox methods, Yoemare Xantippe practices a Zebrican Martial Art form called ‘Fallen Caesar Style’ that certainly merits attention. That Filly is slipperier than a greased Tellarite! She hasn’t managed to pin or throw me yet, but it’s all I can do just to keep up with the whirlwind of moves she can produce. I hope Bob continues to conduct himself as a gentlestallion, lest the poor buck will ends up tied in a square knot!
Sunny refuses to take up a weapon on moral grounds as does the majority of her Department. Her argument is that if the rest of the crew is fighting all her Ponies will be busy in Sickbay, anyway. Willowbark was the only dissenter, saying that he was willing to fight as a sort of last-ditch defense of the Sickbay so the others could concentrate on tending to the wounded. Well, ‘half an apple’ and all that…
The Crew are coming together nicely, beyond my previous anticipations. The monotony of star-mapping and updating star charts has not dented morale in the least. The encounter with the Klingons seems to have taught one and all the virtues of An Uneventful Cruise!
The Hermes now sports its own band. The Hermes Eclectic Downbeat Combo made its debut last week in the Rec Hall. So far we have guitars, drums, violins, and a keyboard in our repertoire. The Combo is lending its talents to a collection of budding vocal talents as well as providing background music for any number of would-be re-enactors of what Sunny refers to as ‘sketch comedy’. …Terrestrials spend waaay too much time re-hashing old entertainment vids. I mean, really! “I once shot an elephant in my pajamas… how an elephant got into my pajamas, I have no idea!”? If the Eugenics Wars served any constructive purpose it was to bury things like The Cutie-Marks Brothers safely out of sight of otherwise sane and rational Ponies!
Questionable comedy aside, Mr. Sekkack has been offering interested takers tutoring in chess as well as a fascinating variant of the game played on a three-level board with rotating mini-sections in the rooks’ corners. Now that’s entertainment! Well it certainly beats the rust off of three-hundred year old cartoons, doesn’t it?
Getting back on-topic, our long range scans of this sector have verified that something beyond a mere charting error has occurred. The stars Pegasus Rho and Pegasus Epsilon A are now confirmed to be eight and eleven light-years out of their respective positions while Pegasus Tau seems to have simply disappeared! In view of the, ah, astronomical odds against these events being scientifically understood natural phenomena we’ve decided to alter our Mission Profile to investigate after we investigate the disappearance of a Civilian Survey Marker left in orbit around an M-Class world in this sector logged by the Cestus Corporation out of Alpha Centauri. The planet in question has been designated by the Corporation as Cestus-Three and is less than a day away at our present speed.
Cestus Three was surveyed eleven years ago by a ship of the Cestus Corporation. An automated vessel, it used long-range sensors to scan the nearest star systems and put itself in orbit around promising worlds. After transmitting its findings via subspace radio it would leave a Survey Marker behind and move onto the next target. The Survey Vessel was declared lost three years later after it aborted its next mission after recording evidence of a technological civilization on Pegasus Theta-Two. It changed course three light-years out and all telemetry was lost a month after that. The final data from the probe vessel indicated multiple kinetic impacts just prior to all contact being lost. Since it was passing through a loose collection of interstellar asteroidal debris at the time it seems likely that catastrophic collision was the reason for its loss. The vessel only carried limited navigational deflector capacity but it would have only taken one large object to overload the system with disastrous consequences for the rest of the vessel. …But why didn’t the automated navigation systems move to avoid the problem?”

I paused the recording and stifled a yawn, rubbing my eyes. One of the purchases Sunny made on Equestris was an honest-to-Luna mechanical cuckoo clock. The ‘tick-tock’ of the thing wasn’t so bad but, in my own humble opinion, that miserable mechanical cuckoo couldn’t carry a tune in an ore cart! Even after all this time the damn thing still manages to wake me up out of a sound sleep three or four times a night. Sunny just loves the thing, of course, and Tyllae simply lives for the top of every hour so she can flit up and watch it pop out of its little doors and caterwaul. It was getting to the point where I was positively dreading midnight!

I tabbed the recorder again, making a note to drop by the Rec Hall for a cola after watch. I wanted to have my turn at gawking at the voice-actuated Food Replicator prototype Jerry’s Engineers rigged out there anyway.

“Whatever the cause of its loss, the Hermes will do a flyby of Pegasus Theta-Two in order to gather more data on the state of the civilization there. En route we will scan for the vessel and try to salvage it… if we can find it!
As a final note, two and a half weeks ago Starfleet requested that we do a thorough physical on ‘The life-form named Tyllae’ and forward the results to Starfleet Medical as well as Starfleet Arcane Sciences Division. They also wanted a recording of Tyllae recounting in her own words about the events that led her to be on the Cimarron. The implied request included a recap of her encounter with Nightmare Moon as well as any details of her experiences with the Goddesses Themselves. Since Tyllae relives rather than recounts memories she was more than a little shattered by the ordeal… though the memories of Luna and Celestia seemed to go a long way toward countering the effects of her account of Nightmare Moon. At my suggestion she also gave her account of history as Faeries know it as well as Tyllae’s insistence that she feels she is somehow instrumental in our locating the Goddesses… I hope that was a good idea.
We’ve heard nothing since and the silence is making me feel uneasy. Starfleet Bureaucracy should have moved faster than this! I’ve asked our Communications Officer to keep me informed of any reply. A couple hours ago Captain Caper received a private communiqué from Starfleet Command that he took in his quarters. He hasn’t returned yet, though he did request that Mr. Sekkack and Sunny come to his quarters. Neither Tyllae or myself were included in that request. I am… understandably curious about what is going on. Commander Starry-Eyes, out.

I eyed the chronometer and drummed my fingers on my knee impatiently. It was the end of the watch and I really wanted to be up and doing.. something, anything! I was in the process of turning to look at Merry. She’d already anticipated me, though.

“No word from the Skipper yet, Boss-Lady! ‘Ere! Whatcha think’s going on, eh?”

“I can’t say.” I said, really wanting that cola just then! “It must be something important, though.” I sat back again and rubbed my eyes, tired and trying to feel optimistic.

“Do you really think they’ll recall the Ship?” Evee turned to look back at me. “Because of Tyllae, I mean!” The rumor mill had been running nonstop since the little tyke came aboard.

“Be a shame to have us turn back now we’ve just gotten started.” Guiding Star quietly said to Main Screen.

“They can’t!” Jerry put in. “Years of planning went into this mission! I mean, Tyllae’s important but she can’t be that important… can she?”

“Got a lot of Ponies back ‘ome runnin’ scared, Oy’ll bet she does, eh, eh?”

“Scared of what? One Faery?” Jerry scoffed.

“Think on it, Mate!” Merry rounded on the Chief Engineer. “What ‘appens to Earth government when Their Nibs get back, eh? Ol’ President Buttercup’s out of a job, ditto fer the United Paddocks! Roight proper shake-up of the ‘ole bloody chain of command from top ta bottom, that’s what it’d be! Lotsa politicos stand to be out on their bloody ears and Oy’d bet me last credit they ain’t gonna go without they kick up a ruckus! ‘Ere…!” She motioned us all in to listen closer… though how she thought she’d have a conspiratorial conversation across the entire Bridge is quite beyond me!

“Oy ‘appen to know ol Round-Ears sent hisself off a report to the bloody Vulcan Science Academy about ol’ Tilly! Ol’ Fuzz-Face (Merry never did warm up to Bogan!) did the same to the mucky-mucks of Tellar!”
I was shocked! “Merry!”

“Don’t get yer knickers in a twist, Starry! Oy didn’t read ‘em! But the subject and destination’s all public record. Gimme credit fer a little bit ‘o brains!”

“All right, a little bit of brains then. I’m sure the Captain would agree!” I was trying to keep it light… but I couldn’t help but to wonder just how many Ponies in Starfleet Command were thrashing out these same ramifications.

Merry laughed. “Well Oy’ll be the first to admit Oy ain’t the sharpest knoyfe in the drawer but even Oy can see Ol’ Caper’s in a bit of a bunch! Ya gotta admit there’s some in Starfleet what ain’t ‘appy ‘bout them reports goin’ out roight from under their noses, eh, eh? Betcha ‘e’s being raked over the old coals fer just that!”

“I can see why he’d want to see Mr. Sekkack,” Jerry mused. “But why Doctor Cross?”

“Yeah!” I tried not to sound too put out! “What am I, a bucket of gravel?”

“Aww! ‘E prolly just needed sumpin’ fer ‘is stomach is all! Ya know ‘ow them ‘igh an’ moighty officer types are, eh, Starry?”

I was saved the trouble of coming up with a suitable reply by the turbolift doors opening to deposit the first wave of our replacements for the oncoming watch. I exchanged greetings with Melody while Merry’s replacement waited by Merry’s station. A pale-brown and sandy-blonde Earth Pony Stallion in Services Red stepped up to me after doing a quick survey of the Bridge. He was one of our new Ponies, a Lieutenant we’d picked up on Earth. I searched my memory for his name but I couldn’t find it. My eyes dropped to the cutie-patch in the shape of a small, steepled building on his tunic as came up…

“Good afternoon, Lt. …Church, is it?”

“Kyrk, Ma’am. Gorge Kyrk, from Security. I’m on Bridge Rotation today. I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting you till now.” He gave me a polite, affable smile as he offered his hoof. For a terrestrial Pony he was fairly tall, just a few inches shorter than Sunny without her horn, but more robustly built. Not overly-muscled, but capable looking. He wore his mane military-short and military-straight… except for one stray lock that managed to fall across his forehead! His grip was firm even though overwhelmed by my bigger hoof.

“I’m Starry-Eyes, Lieutenant Kyrk. Sorry about mangling your name. There aren’t that many of us on Equestris yet to have to worry about cognomens! So your family follows the old practice of assuming the wife’s family name then?”

“That’s right, Commander. My wife’s people come from the north of Bittain.” I noticed his eyes were green.

“No kidding! My ancestors came from the same place. Sunny and I exchanged last names, but it doesn’t seem to make much difference to anypony. So, is your mother an Earth Pony? Maybe we share cousins or something.” I winked, liking this Pony already.

Kyrk laughed quietly. “I don’t think any of them made it to Equestris. Mom’s folks are Pegasai!”

“So much for that then! At least she isn’t an Alicorn. What a bunch!” I stood and stretched just a little bit. “You have the Conn, Lieutenant. We’re steady on course for Pegasus Sigma. Sensors are still scanning for further developments from Pegasus Rho and Epsilon-A. There’s no Communications traffic since late this morning and Engineering reports a-ok. The Ship’s all yours!”

“I relieve you then, Commander.”

“I feel better already, Lieutenant! Have a good day!” I hustled out just in time to squeeze into the lift with Merry and Evee.

“Where ya headed, Boss-Lady?” Merry had her hoof on the controls.

“Rec Hall. I need a drink of caffeine and then I’ll go home and try to get a nap… if I can.” I yawned.

“Cuck-oo! Cuck-oo!” Evee chirped while Merry guffawed!

“Don’t you start!” I tried to look indignant while bumping my head against the roof of the lift. “I wish the damn thing had a mute button! I’d do a laryngectomy on it if I thought I could get away with it!”

“Aww ya get used to it sooner or later!” Merry said breezily. “Oy remember when Oy was a little sprog! We ‘ad an ‘ouse in the old part of town roight smack over the top of one of ‘em maglev subways. You get to the point where you never ‘ear the noise after a bit! Some Ponies’re just hoigh-strung, I guess!” I gave her a dark look.

“Let me get you one out of the kindness of my heart since your sooo understanding!” I grumped.

“Thanks anyway, Boss, but Oy’m not much a hoof at fiddlin’ round with woinding things up much!”

“Except the Captain!” Evee giggled.

“’E don’t moind none! Oy’m just keepin’ ‘im on ‘is toes, is all. Ol’ Skipper’s a roight good sport… just don’t tell ‘em Oy said that! Never bloody’d believe it if ya did!”

“You sure there’s nothing going on between you two?” Evee gave the Comm Officer a nudge.

“Damn, the secret’s out!” Merry declared and tipped me a wink. “Truth is we been carryin’ on now on the sly for years!”

Evee blinked, surprised, while I just rolled my eyes.

“Yep! Oy’ve ‘ad four of the Old Goats luv kids back ‘ome in Adleneigh! Been a roight good sport ‘bout the child support, too! All of ‘em’s gonna grow up to be Admirals so Oy’m gonna be sittin’ roight purty in my old age!”

Evee’s ears drooped flat and she facehoofed while Merry chortled! The lift doors opened.

“…And I’m outa here!” I declared.

The Rec Room always has a crowd in it and is one of the physically largest places on the ship, coming in fourth behind Engineering, the Hangar, and the Gym. On the time-honored tradition that more is better, there are billiard tables, dart boards, a couple of ping-pong tables, and not a few electronic games arranged among several gaming tables with a small bar (With a two-drink-per-Watch-Per-Pony limit!) and snack stand tucked into the corner. In the opposite corner was the raised platform where music and performances were done. Factor in all the chairs and there was just about enough room to navigate. Put more than five Ponies in the room and things begin to get positively congested!

Tyllae was with a group of Ponies at the bandstand/stage where a rehearsal was going on for an upcoming production of some more of those Luna-awful Cutie-Marks Brothers skits. A few of the musicians were getting together with some of our budding actors striking up… time and again… variations on,
“The Captain is a very moral Pony!
Hooray for Captain Gelding!
The Zebrican Explorer!”
A Crewpony from Engineering was wearing a pith helmet and sporting a ridiculous fake black mustache and matching beetling black eyebrows. He plucked a huge, fake cigar out of his mouth to chime in…

“Did somepony call me a schnorer?”
… to the evident amusement of one and all!

I flattened my ears and sighed. Sometimes I think all these Ponies are crazy!

Tyllae zipped over and huggled my neck before I saw her coming!

“Hi-hii, Starry! Tyllae was watching ‘Animal Crackers’!”

“I know! I know! Sunny has all those shows, remember? We’ve seen them all a zillion times!”

“Issa more fun with Tyllae’s friends doin’ it, Starry! Cappy Gelding is funny! Watch, watch, watch!” The little tyke tried to lead me by tugging at my unmoving hoof while Pith Helmet quipped,
“If I stay here, I’ll go nuts!”

… Which pretty much summed up my position!

“I just came in to get something to drink before going home for a while, kiddo! Why don’t you join me?”
Snacks and goodies get the little flits attention every time!

“Ooh! Talky-machine givin’ out food, Starry! Tyllae watched Jerry-Ponies put in today! Can Tyllae try? Please, please, please?” She flitted in front of my face and gave me the biggest little black eyes she could!

“You want to get food from a machine?” I quirked a Vulcan eyebrow at the little Fey.

“Yep, yep, yep!” She noddled hard enough to jangle her antennae. “Looky like fun! Come on, Starry! Right over here!”

Well it was a good twenty feet farther away from the stage…

“Ok, kiddo! Let’s give it a try.”

“Yaayyy!” Tyllae did a couple loop-the-loops and came in for a landing square on top of my head, making the Mare in my head cock her head toward the sounds coming from her ceiling!

We got in line behind two other Ponies and watched the process. There were data solids for drinks or snacks or even hot meals. Each solid, I was given to understand by Jerry, contained templates for hundreds of selections in each category. One slipped in the proper solid, activated the interface, voiced a selection then the machine, using replicator-based technology, would synthesize your request to be retrieved from the compartment in the front. It was an inefficient process given the amount of energy involved and just wouldn’t do to feed large numbers of Ponies. The synthetics that would be our standby food when the real stuff ran out were made by the same process. In that case the efficiency was tweaked higher… at the cost of aesthetic appeal. This device, though, was made to produce a more palatable product at the cost of horrible energy usage. It would only be a matter of time before Starfleet ironed out the bugs in the system. In the meantime a unit like this, intended for purely recreational purposes by a relatively small number of Ponies, was justified in the name of morale. Hermes was a test-bed for all sorts of cutting edge technology!

When our turn came I chose the blue solid for drinks, tabbed the size selector for thirty-two ounces, and toggled the button that activated the interface.

“Wor-king.” The synthetic, female voice stated. Tyllae looked on with interest.

“Sugar free Sparkle-Cola Rad. No ice.” I said then watched as a series of lights indicating successful identification of request, verification of operational status, and replication in process in that order played across the display. A soft series of musical beeps indicated the process was finished and the door over the retrieval bin opened to reveal an insulated tumbler of Starfleet blue. I picked it up an took a sip. It was a little sweet and maybe a trifle flat but not a bad attempt. I shrugged and took another drink as the machine intoned.
“Com-plete.”

“Tyllae’s turn!” The little tyke exclaimed then flitted down to the data solid. “Tyllae wanna drink, too, so little blue brick stay there, right Starry?”

“That’s right, Squirt. Now press that button for an eight-ounce cup.” Tyllae zipped over to stomp both forehooves on the thing decisively.

“Now hit the white button to activate it and there you go!” I took another sip, thinking the stuff could have been just a little bit colder…

Tyllae rapped the white button smartly and hovered over the speaker/pickup expectantly.

“Wor-king.”

“Hiii-hi!” She waved to the machine. “Tyllae wants to get something nice to drink, please!”

The machine gave a two-toned error warble, then. “Un-able to process request. Please re-state.”

Tyllae frowned at the thing. “Tyllae said Tyllae wanna get a drink!’

“Un-able to process request. Please re-state.”

“Stoopid machine! Tyllae wanna get a drink!”

“Un-able to pro- “

“Hay!”

“In-cor-rect data module in place. Please select cor-rect module and try again.”

Tyllae spun in mid-air and dealt the thing a buck with both back hooves capable of tipping over a beetle or pulverizing an anemic mosquito that made no impression on the plastic housing! I came to the little Fey’s rescue.

“Order cancel.” The machine whirred and beeped and shut down. I turned to the seething Faery.

“Tyllae. The machine didn’t understand your request. It’s not very bright…”

“Issa stoopid machine!” She snarked.

“Just start over and tell it what you want right after it says ‘working’. Use as few words as possible. It’s not as smart as a Faery.” I said gently, suppressing a grin for her sake.

“Starry can say that again!” The little Luddite shook herself and went through the process once more…

“Wor-king.”

“Hot choccies!” Tyllae hovered over the speaker looking as menacing as anything so cute could!

“Un-able to process re-quest. Please re-state.”

“Grr-r-r-r-r-r!”

“Tyllae!” I whispered. “It doesn’t know what ‘choccies’ are! You want chocolate, tell it that!”

The little Fey, wings fluttering at relativistic speeds, glared at the thing and drew a breath to enunciate carefully. “Choc-oh-let. Hot!” She looked to me in approval and I nodded, giving her a thumbs-up.

The lights played, the tones sounded and the door opened to reveal… a half-melted bar of chocolate in a cup! Oops.

“Com-plete.”

Tyllae began prancing up and down on the literal-minded replicator!

“Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid machiney! Tyllae gonna hex it! Give Tyllae hot choccies!”

“Maybe you should let me do it for you…”

“No, no, no! Tyllae is waaay smarter than stoopid ol’ machiney! Tyllae fixit!” She flitted down to ponyhandle the cup of melted chocolate bar into the nearby recycler, thumping the button with her rump, before flitting back to the replicator quivering in elfin wrath!

“Lissen to Tyllae, stoopid!” She waved an angry hoof. “Or Tyllae gonna hafta get real, real, real mean!” She jabbed the size selection savagely then jumped with all four hooves on the activation stud!

“Wor-king.”

Tyllae raised a hoof to me to forestall any comment before barking into the pickup.

“Hot choccies!”

“Un-able to res-“

Tyllae really had been paying attention when Jerry’s Ponies had put the thing in and were testing it out. She screwed up her face, remembering exactly what they said!

“Over-ride!” She stated. “Ex-trap-o-late!” Interesting! She’d just instructed the machine to use its cybernetic judgment in fulfilling her request. I wasn’t the only interested onlooker. A couple of ponies… including Pith Helmet… had queued up behind us and were leaning around me to see what would happen.

Tyllae looked absurdly smug as the thing beeped and whirred to itself meditatively before launching into the replication process. The completion tones sounded and the door slip up once again to display… half a dozen gleaming cylindrical sticks of chalk upright in a Starfleet-blue mug! I didn’t have to be touching them to know they were hot…

Tyllae whimpered and pointed an accusing hoof at the results!

Pith Helmet chose that moment to waggle both his cigar and his Luna-awful eyebrows! “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen!”

Defeated, Tyllae slunk into my mane and hid. She stayed there as I dumped the chalk into the recycler and ordered a ‘hot cocoa’. I switched modules and called up a pair of nice, fluffy marshmallows to go with it. The marshmallows did the trick to entice the sulky Fey back into the open!

“Issa stoopid machine!” She grumped as she dunked a marshmallow into her drink. “Tyllae gonna tell Jerry-Jer onna rep-lee-cay-ter an maybe Jerry-Jer let Tyllae hex it good!”

“Don’t be too hard on it, kiddo!” I soothed. “It was doing its best to do what you wanted. It just didn’t understand you is all! If you want to hex something, try hexing that miserable cuckoo clock!”

“Whyfor, Starry? Issa nice, nice, nice clock!”

“It’s keeping me awake at night! Every hour on the hour, ‘cuckoo-cuckoo’! It’s enough to drive a Pony to drink!”

“Issa why Starry drinking fizzy-stuff? But Tyllae thought Starry didn’t have to sleep as long as Sunny does!” She flitted up to peer into my tumbler.

“I just felt like a cola. It’s a figure of speech meaning that it’s driving me batty to the point of turning to alcohol. Besides, I need four or five hours of solid sleep to get by, not four or five catnaps! Sheesh!”

“Awww! Poor Starry! Tyllae can fix!”

“Don’t mess with that clock! I was only kidding, kiddo! Sunny just loves the damn thing.”

“Trust Tyllae! Tyllae can fix! Tyllae can make a little spell so Starry’s side of the bed all nice an quiet alla time! Yep, yep, yep!”

I’ll admit, I was tempted by the idea! “Well… no, that wouldn’t work. I’d need to be able to hear the intercom or, Luna forbid, a Red Alert! Thanks for the offer, though.” I passed her the remaining marshmallow.

But Tyllae had gotten ahold of the idea and wouldn’t let it go. Ignoring the sweet treat she zipped up for a landing on the end of my nose! As an attention-getter the act was a rousing success but I felt ridiculous looking cross-eyed down the end of my muzzle at the excitable Fey. Nearby crewponies turned and smiled in our direction.

“Will you get off my nose and sit on the table and talk like a civilized Pony already?” I shooed her off and she landed, prancing in place!

“Tyllae gotta real, real, real good idea, Starry! Tyllae issa geen-ee-us, yep, yep, yep!” She would have patted herself on the back if she could reach that far!

“All right, all right! What’s the idea, Little Miss Genius?”

“Remember spell Tyllae used so Starry an Sunny would not notice little Tyllae-stachoo? Tyllae can use same spell only with cooky-clock! Jussa little, little, little spell an Tyllae knows it already works jussa fine! Tyllae can do! Let Tyllae help! Please, please, pleeeeze, Starry?” Her eyes, while lacking Sunny’s mystic megawattage, were just do darn eager!

“Well….” I rubbed between my eyes and staved off another yawn as I mulled it over. She did have a point, the spell the little tyke employed earlier seemed to edit her right out of everypony’s mind while she used it. And there didn’t seem to be any adverse effects afterwards… and I was tired! The Mare in my head, Equestrin to the core, was dubious as I nodded to the little Fey.

“Okay. …Okay! What can it hurt? Go ahead, Squirt! Er… what do you want me to do?”

“Jussa sit still an let smart, smart, smart Tyllae do alla work! Won’t take a couple of tickey-tocks, nope, nope, nope! Wheeeee!”

The little flit zoomed in an ascending spiral around me ending up poised just off the end of my nose. She paused dramatically with quivering wings spread wide and one little forehoof raised while the little pips on the end of her antennae glowed bright pink, a touchingly solemn expression on her elfin face.

Down came the teeny hoof to bop me lightly on the end of the nose…

“There! All done! Starry is now enchanted, yep, yep, yep!”

I didn’t realize I’d been holding my breath. I let it out while the Mare in my head scanned her readouts anxiously. I blinked. “That’s it?”

“Yep, yep, yep! All done! Tyllae very, very, very good at Magic!” The little Fey beamed proudly.

“Oh.” I cautiously checked to see if I felt… different and was pleased to notice nothing! “I was expecting a flash of light or some… I don’t know… pixie dust or maybe a rhyme or something.” I shrugged apologetically to Tyllae who was looking suddenly indignant!

“Pixy?” She shrilled. “Tyllae is no silly, little scattery-brain Pixy! Tyllae thought Starry wanted real magic an not just silly lights! Hmph!” She crossed her forelegs and looked away.

“Hay!” I tried to mollify. “Don’t be that way! What do I know for Magic? I just thought there was more to it than that!”

“Tyllae makes a perfeckly good, good, good spell to help Starry an Starry says ‘Pixy’ to Tyllae who jus wanna be good an help! Phooey! Lika stoopid, giggling Pixy could do Magic like clever Tyllae!” The little Fey grumped. “An Starry didn even say ‘Thank You’ to poor, hardworking Tyllae! Tyllae make it so clocks never bother Starry again an Tyllae gets called Pixy ‘cause Tyllae did not use dumbo machienies with stoopid lights an noises! Feh! Tyllae gonna go where someponies ‘preciate nice, nice, nice Tyllae!” With that, she flicked her little tail at me and disappeared with an audible ‘pif’!

“Tyllae!” …But it was too late. I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose again. Sometimes Tyllae can be so… flighty! I took comfort in the fact that she’d forget the whole thing in an hour or two, Faeries… Pixie comments aside… just don’t hold grudges!

I popped the marshmallow into my mouth and washed it down with the rest of the cola as the Rec Hall doors whooshed open to admit a brown-and-blonde mare wearing a shabby overcoat and a grubby top hat, carrying an ‘oogah’ horn under her arm. She was closely followed by a black-and-green stallion decked out in a brown jacket that was one size too small for him with big patches on the elbows. A floppy, shapeless brown hat with a tiny feather in it was jammed down upon his head and the both of them were grinning like whatever-the Hell a-Loon-is does!

The Cutie-Marks Brothers were evidently about to ride again so I decided to pull out and try for that nap. Reflexively, I looked up and the chronometer over the doorway… and was surprised to see it wasn’t there! I blinked. Well Jerry’s Engineers were in here today connecting up the Food Replicator and everypony knows how Engineers just love to change things! I always thought it would have made more sense to put the thing on the back wall, anyway… I twisted around to look at the back of the room. No chronometer! I checked the remaining walls with the same result. Huh!

Finally I went up to the snack bar where Ensign Scoop was on duty. “Hey, Scoop!”

“What’ll it be, Commander? That phony cola leave a bad taste in your mouth?”

“No, no. I was just wondering where they moved the chronometer. I can’t find it anywhere!”

“Say what now?” He looked at me like I’d grown Tellarite fur!

“The chronometer.” I explained. “Where did they move it to?”

“Uh…” He pointed with a hoof at the doorway. “It’s right over there where it always is.”

I looked back in surprise. How could I have missed it? …But nothing but a blank wall greeted my gaze! Oh, no! My ears drooped and the Mare in my head played Tyllae’s words back to me. … ‘Tyllae makes it so clocks don’t bother Starry again…’

“You ok, Commander?”

The oogah-horn honked and the blonde Pony was capering around the stage with Pith Helmet and Brown Hat in attendance. I was suddenly very tired, indeed!

“I’m fine, Scoop. Just been a long day!”

Just then the intercom sounded its two-toned whistle. “Commander Starry-Eyes please report to the Captains Quarters. Repeat, Commander Starry-Eyes please report to the Captains Quarters.”

…And the day just kept getting longer!

Author's Note

Since I don't have access to a star chart I cobbled together a scheme by which Stars are identified by their date of discovery within a given constellation as viewed from Earth with a Greek-letter signifier afterwards. Sounds TOS enough, right? *crosses fingers*

Chapter Twenty Nine- The Call from Chaos

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

THE CALL FROM CHAOS

I buzzed the annunciator at Capers door after touching up my mane and indulging in a few seconds of Equestrin Biodisciplines to ward off the fatigue and shake the cobwebs out of my mind.
“Come in, Commander.” The speaker bade me. I made note of the formal address and braced myself as a tabbed the door control and ducked through into the Captain’s Cabin.

Caper’s cabin is the same size as ours but it looked three times roomier since it wasn’t cluttered with so much of Sunny’s antique stuff! He had a single bed, scrupulously made up, with a neatly organized collection of framed holos on the little shelf at its head. The wall above it was hung with large framed reprint of The Rings of Saturn by the twentieth-century space artist, Barnstall. The adjacent wall, along the Living Area, bore an even larger work by the same artist depicting an alien landscape of cliffs that bore the hoofwork of some intelligence. Strange, pyramid-shaped mountains were shrouded in the distance while a calm, alien sea lapped the hooves of them all. It occurred to me that this scene had been incorporated into one of Sunny’s Old Movies, the title of which escaped me just then. On the wall next to me was mounted a twisted and scorched piece of pale green alien metal, a fragment of a Romulan ship from the War that had self-destructed during a particularly hair-raising encounter with the Hermes. This particular piece of debris had embedded itself into the hull around the Bridge, we were that close to it! Caper kept it as a souvenir after it had been gone over by Starfleet intelligence and decontaminated. The wall by the workstation was blank.

Caper was not a collector of bric-a-brac. A few old-style actual photographs, heirlooms maybe, sat on the table of the workstation. One of them was in black-and-white and featured an older Pegasus Mare in a high collar and pearls. His great-great-great Grandmother from Moosecow in the nineteenth century as I recall.

There were exactly two chairs. Caper sat in front of the workstation while Sunny sat nearby looking thoughtful and irritated. Mr. Sekkack stood quietly off to the side with his paws behind his back with a Vulcanly neutral expression on his face. A very pretty teapot, white with a blue paisley design and obviously very old, sat amid a set of matching cups. Nopony was drinking.

Caper met my eyes as I came in. The Old Pegasus smiled grimly, his eyes looking tired. It was the same look I’d seen so many time during the War when the Hermes was tasked to do something… unpleasant. My Old Friend needed me once again and I reflected on just how heavy those insignificant bands of gold braid on his cuffs could be.

“Ah, Starry-pushka! Come in, have seat! Edge of bed is best bet, da? Chairs in cabin are not set up for Pony of such stature! Is tea, have some. Have laid out Grandmare Roamanov’s tea set. Is shame to let go to waste, nyet?”

I pricked up my ears. I’d been musing about what Starfleet might have said in the communiqué since he left. I half expected to hear suppressed anger or frustration in his voice. I’d known him long enough to pick up on the nuances of his feelings. Just then, though, there was something I’d never encountered in the Captain before and it made me wonder what was going on inside his head. I’d heard the Captain coldly rage, heap scorn on inept superiors, dispassionately chew out clumsy civilians, and joke with his beloved crew… but I never thought I’d hear uncertainty in his voice before!

I … very carefully… picked up a tiny teacup and delicately used the little tongs to put in two sugar cubes. Pinching the handle between thumb and forefinger, I stirred the mixture with the antique spoon and carried cup, saucer and all engulfed in one hoof over to perch on the edge of his bed. I waved off the offer of the cream pitcher.

“Ok, Caper. Now that you’ve got me in your bed, what next?” I quipped. I kept it light to show Caper that I knew that there was something in the message he had reservations about and that I would be behind him in however he decided to deal with it. The subtle message was not lost on the sharp old Pegasus. His eyes positively twinkled as he replaced the pitcher on its ebony-and-silver tray!
The comment jolted Sunny out of her train of thought who blinked then eyed me narrowly. Sekkack’s expression, naturally enough, didn’t change… though there was the merest glimmer in those placid, dark brown eyes that told the discerning observer that he hadn’t missed it!

“Ha!” Caper whinnied. “Nothing so dangerous to Captain’s well-being… and ego… as might be expected otherwise, da?” He picked up a cup and blew on it noisily. Something of the tension left the room as he slurped at the bitter dark-brown tea. He smacked his lips in overdone satisfaction and gestured to Sunny.

“You should try some, Good Doctor! Is not like namby-pamby Bittish tea! This will put feathers on wings!” He half-spread his own in demonstration.

“Or make them fall out, I shouldn’t wonder.” She observed dryly. She reached to take up a cup and took a delicate, well-bred marelike sniff… then hurried to add no less than four cubes of sugar and as much cream as she could without overflowing the cup!

She took a sip and shuddered. “Faith, boyo! Where’d ye learn t’ make tea? N’ out o’ what?”

“ Bah! Old Family recipe in family for generations! Good tea, real tea, is Rushin invention perfected by leetle old peasant mare outside Leapingrad. In hooves of decadent Western ponies is leetle more than tepid eyewash!” He took another sip and made a point of savoring it!

Sekkack cleared his throat politely. “It has been my understanding that Terrestrial tea was first cultivated in Southeast Neighsia in the region of…”

Caper waved a dismissive hoof! “Mere propaganda on part of capitalistic Bittish East Hindia Company to claim bragging rights and subjugate native Donkey Peoples!”

“Indeed.” Sekkack chose not to press the issue. The Vulcan poured himself a cup and took a sip. He quirked an eyebrow on an otherwise impassive face. “… Bracing.”

“Da!” Caper agreed. “Of course is better with just few drops of vodka to bring out full, robust flavor!” He drained his cup and poured himself another. I choose that moment to sample my own. Sugar or not, it was bitter but not unpleasantly so. After that rather syrupy, replicated cola (And marshmallow!) it was rather refreshing. The stuff had real body to it, not unlike our admittedly hard Equestrin groundwater!

“But did not call Starry-pushka here for mere, decadent Oriental tea ceremony!” Caper pushed on. He turned his chair round to regard me. “You know I have had communication from Starfleet Command today, nyet?”

I carefully put cup and saucer down onto my broad knee and folded my hooves in my lap before answering. “Everypony onboard knows it by now, Caper. Hard to keep something like this a secret on a ship this small.”
“Da. Is given fact.” Caper nodded. “Subject of communication regards, not surprisingly, Leetle Pooka. In view of Leetle Pooka’s … significance to Ponies and all Federation itself, Starfleet has taken an inordinate amount of time in getting back to us. Today they have done so. I want you, Starry-pushka, to view message. The rest of you have seen before but I ask that you watch again, carefully!” With that, he swiveled the screen of his workstation around and triggered the playback.

Official messages from Starfleet are normally prefaced with a screen indicating the stardate and origin of the transmission. This one did not. Instead, the screen lit up to show a blue Pegasus with a brilliant, elegantly coiffed, gleaming silver mane and eyebrows in a mustard-yellow uniform with the triple solid gold bars of an Admiral on his cuffs. He was seated at a large, expensive-looking desk with a polished black-and-green marble top that was bare except two unusual objects. One sat on the far side of the desk and took the form of an odd statuette of gleaming gold maybe half a foot tall. It was hard to make it out exactly since it was apparently out of the focus of the video pickup. It seemed to depict a sinuous Dragon of some sort with odd, asymmetric horns. There was something amiss with its limbs, too, but it wasn’t possible to make out just what. It’s body was contorted in an ‘S’ shape and in its jaws it clenched a flagstaff with the flag of the Federation held at a downward angle. The Dragons of Earth died in the Eugenics Wars. I had no idea what alien this thing was a depiction of!

More distracting by leaps and bounds was the forearm-long, two finger thick crystal rod the Admiral toyed with. I gave it another look. No, it wasn’t a rod after all. As he rolled and fidgeted with the thing I saw that it had nine facets and came to a nine-sided point at each end. Each time it caught the light, a facet would light up with a different color. Sometimes red, sometimes blue or green or yellow… sometimes I could not describe the color. It never left at least one of his hooves and he would gesture and point with it, carrying it like an old-fashioned swagger stick.
Behind him on the wall was the logo of the Federation, the upturned horseshoe wreathed in stylized laurel leaves encompassing a radial display of the Founding Star Systems with Earth at the center.

The Pegasus leaned into the pickup with a dazzling, insincere smile on his face. “Ah! Captain Cloud Caper!” He exclaimed in an oily, smooth voice. “ I am Admiral Quicksilver of Starfleet Galaxy Exploration Command. You know, the chap that sent you on this little… jaunt.” His eyes seemed to smile, but there was an almost subliminal element of …what? Amusement? Gloating? I couldn’t quite lay a hoof on it.

Quicksilver flipped the crystal and pointed it dead on, the facets of the tip flashing with a nimbus of rainbow light. “You’ve been given a lot of leeway in regards to how you carry out your mission, Captain, but you’ve overstepped your boundaries this time! Really! Making such a to-do about a glorified, talking parasprite! Making such outrageous suppositions! Filing reports to aliens without consulting me! Tsk, tsk, tsk!” As he spoke he flipped the thing endwise, spinning it on the end of his finger so that it positively coruscated multicolored light. His eyes never left it as he spoke. He flipped in end-for-end, turning it into a prismatic wheel for a few beats before snatching it out of the air and pointed it straight at the pickup once again! I was rapidly becoming irritated at the thing…

His voice lowered and his eyes hardened. All the seeming good-naturedness fled his features. “The Princesses are dead, Captain. Dead and gone! Sooo last epoch!” His manner… and the crystal… flipped again. “You are hereby ordered to proceed at once to Pegasus Epsilon-Two…” He paused to chuckle, looking smugly pleased with himself for some reason. “Or as close to it as you can, these days! After you conclude your little business at Cestus-III, of course!” He waved a dismissive hoof at the screen then, “Once you are there you will remain until such time as I arrive. You will then hand the Faery over to me. She’ll be better off with me than with your bunch, anyway!”

One of his pale, almost white eyes fixed upon the pickup. “Oh, one more thing, Captain!” Clutching the crystal with both hooves he leaned in until his face filled the screen. “Since you have proven yourself unable to keep your mouth shut about things that are quite beyond you I’m taking this opportunity to give you a lesson in… resourcefulness!” He smiled winningly. “ I am ordering you to put the Hermes under a communications blackout. No more transmissions! No personal messages home, no inquiries to Starfleet, no contact with any vessels whatsoever as per my direct command. I’m in charge here. I make the rules. I can do that!”

He threw himself back into his chair carelessly and positively gloated into the screen! “But that shouldn’t be a problem, shouldn’t it, Captain? After all, we Ponies are all grown-up and mature these days, aren’t they? Twenty-two hundred years are a long time to learn to cope by ourselves. We haven’t done so bad in all that time, haven’t we?” An element of combined patronization and mockery tinged his voice as he waved the crystal baton airily. “A few global wars aside, that is! What’s a few billion Pony lives more or less in the long run in order to prove an ideal?” He hunkered forward in his seat suddenly and peered intently out of the screen!

“Let’s just see how much mature and grown up twenty-two centuries have made us, shall we? You have your orders, Captain!”

He struck the tabletop with one end of the crystal and lounged in his chair like it was a throne! He threw the other hoof out in a grand gesture, a grim, gloating smile lighting up his face. “Admiral Quicksilver, out!” He began a low, sinister chuckle as the screen faded to black. The chuckling continued for some seconds until the audio switched off.

When I looked up the others will still contemplating the screen. As soon as I caught Caper’s eye I asked. “Ok… What. The. Hell. Was. THAT?”
“A performance.” Sekkack stated quietly. “I have had occasion to meet Admiral Quicksilver before. That individual was most certainly not he… unless he has undergone a dramatic psychological reversal in the recent past.”
“Aye, a performance.” Sunny put in. “Has anypony had th’ occasion t’ see a movie called Doctor Strangelove…?”

Surprisingly, Sekkack nodded. “The movie in question was made in the sixth decade of Earth’s Twentieth Century as I recall. The title character in the story was a metaphor for certain elements of what was then called ‘The Cold War’…”

Caper cut him off unapologetically. “Admiral Quicksilver is like name. Slippery, accommodating to current environmental conditions, and poisonous in even small quantities! A thorough Bureaucrat with Political aspirations. A scrupulously by-the-book type but not crazy Pony! Galaxy Exploration Command alone cannot alter our Mission Profile. Must be put before all of Starfleet and Federation Council. Nyet, person on screen is Admiral Quicksilver like I am Tsar of all the Rushias! Beeg question is who is impostor and how was able to send message over Starfleet channel?” He cocked a bushy brow at me.

“I’ll go over the sensor logs.” I said. “Hopefully we can get an idea of just where that transmission came from. Source of the transmission aside, though, how much stock do we put in this story?” I took in the assembled Ponies and Vulcan with my eyes. “Even if it is Admiral Quicksilver…like I’m Khan… he’s weeks away even with our engines! He’s not in a position to have much say in what we do or do not do one way or another. In my opinion he’s a kook with inside information about Tyllae. I mean, just listen to the guy! A highly placed kook, but still a kook! We already know there are a lot of Ponies and Others who are, uh, … insecure about defining the reality of the Goddesses.”

“Then why send us to the Pegasus Epsilon system?” Sekkack asked. “It is a very remote location. Surely it would be more logical to divert us somewhere in Federation Space where this individual would have assets to use against us.”

“The daft Laddie could be an alien!” Sunny took up her teacup, took another sip, and quietly screwed up her face in reaction to the taste! She put the cup down quickly and continued. “Th’ Klingons’ve got an axe t’ grind wi’ us already! P’raps they have some friends out here we dinna ken.”

“Pegasus Epsilon is seven hundred point three-eight light-years beyond any Klingon outpost I am aware of.” Sekkack countered. “It is even farther removed than Federation Space, Doctor.”

Only Sunny would argue with a Vulcan! She was just coming up with a counter of her own when Caper spoke .

“Perhaps are stranger forces at work, da?”

We all looked at him.

He shrugged fatalistically. “After all this time we find Faery. Maybe is coincidence, maybe not.” He caught all our eyes in turn then, “Who knows what else is stirring? What was sitting on ‘Admirals’ desk, Good Doctor?” He suddenly speared Sunny with his gaze! “ Or am I suddenly smarter than local expert in mythology? Or is that you only want what you consider good examples of mythology to come to life again? Other forces may not have same regard for Doctor’s preferences, da?”

I racked my brain for what I could recall about ancient Pony history. Damnit! It was all word of mouth by the time the Colony was founded!

Sunny remained silent. It was Sekkack who spoke up.

“The creature called ‘Discord’, the Spirit of Chaos?” A frown flirted with his eyes though the rest of his face didn’t betray it. “I submit that there is far more circumstantial evidence to support the supposition that purely mundane agencies are involved in these proceedings. To make the assumption that wholly supernatural forces are involved is simple not logical.”

“Until short time ago Faeries were ‘wholly supernatural’! Da, comrade Sekkack?” Caper gave the Vulcan an innocent look.

“This is a classic case of being a non-sequiter, Captain.” Sekkack stated. “Your facts are not following a logical procession…”

Caper thumped his table decisively. “Then let me do leetle experiment to bear out findings! Hopefully Captain is wrong, will not be first time. I am first to admit! Am nothing if not humble Pony!”

He tabbed the communicator control on his desk. “Communications!”

“Here, Captain.” Merry’s replacement, Lieutenant Holly, came over the speaker.

“Please to send to Starfleet Command request for verification of orders received earlier today. Priority message.”

“Yes, Sir!”

“Captain out.” Caper switched off and made a show of looking all around the cabin for a sign that something was wrong. I would have thought him serious but for the look he slipped me.

I cleared my throat and pointed out. “Starfleet is more than a week away even by subspace. You’re going to have to wait a while to see if you’re right.”

“Good point, Science Officer! Purpose second experiment to see if Captain is few shots short of full bottle of vodka!” He toggled the communicator again.

“Helm!”

“Lieutenant Glidepath here, Captain.”

“We have new orders, Lieutenant. Change of course. Alter our flightpath to rendezvous with Ghooran Base. Maintain same speed.” Caper swiveled his eyes to lock with mine.

“Laying in new course, Captain.” We could hear the quiet beeps of the controls as he inputted the new destination. There came an error beep. I heard Glidepath re-enter the correction. Again, there came an error beep!

“Sir? We’re, ah, having some difficulty in making the course change, Sir. The Helm keeps rejecting the change, Sir.” He tried again with the same results.

Caper was calm. “Disengage Time Warp Drive. Override Helm controls. Use thrusters to point ship physically at Ghooran Base. Proceed at impulse.”

The descending thrum of the Warp Drive droned around us. We could hear the commands being inputted. All at once the Yellow Alert klaxon sounded! An instant later the sound of a distant explosion came conducted through the very hull!

“Sir! There’s been an explosion in the thruster assembly!”

Kyrk’s voice came over the intercom. “Damage Control report to Engineering, Maneuvering thrusters! Captain Caper to the Bridge! Captain Caper to the Bridge!”

With terrible calm, Caper toggled the communicator again. “On my way, Mr. Kyrk.” He switched off and held his eyes with his own.

“Experiment concluded, Starry-pushka! Go over Sensor Logs. We will need all information we can get, nyet?”

Chapter Thirty- Assessments and Options

CHAPTER THIRTY

ASSESSMENTS AND OPTIONS

Caper called for a Staff Meeting at the end of the Second Watch. As well as the Department Heads, Mr. Sekkack and Bogan were present as well as Tyllae per the Captain’s request. The Old Pegasus had requested that she come to his cabin after we’d been dismissed. …She refused to come in until Caper invited her precisely three times. (Faeries!) The two of them had been closeted up ever since.

The little Fey was sitting near the Captain’s elbow when I ducked through the door, munching on a plate of carrot sticks and apple slices. Appreciating the seriousness of the occasion, apparently, she’d decked herself out in a new uniform. She rose into the air and waved excitedly to me as I entered. I gave her a small smile as I took my seat by Sunny.

Jerry was looking grim. Merry was restless like she was bursting with the need to punch something! Sunny seemed subdued while Evee and Guiding Star looked preoccupied. Little Rock seemed to be engaged in a Stoic contest with Sekkack while Bors sat with his arms crossed, tugging absently at the lurid purple bow on his chin with a frown on his face. Xantippe stood demurely with downcast eyes behind the Captain with a coffeepot on the shelf behind her on a warming plate.

The klaxon had been muted but the Yellow Alert signal still flashed over the door. Our shields were up and we were coasting on momentum as all Power Systems were being gone over.

Caper was in the process of taking a drink when I entered. His eyes regarded me warmly over his coffee cup as he drained it. He set it down and Xantippe discretely refilled it without complaint.

“Now we begin!” He sat straight in his chair and gathered us all with his gray eyes. “Chief Engineer, please to report on malfunction with maneuvering jets!”

Jerry stood and looked quickly around the room with a contrite expression on his face before launching into his report.

“At fourteen forty two hours and eleven seconds the maneuvering thrusters came online in response to commands from the Helm. These thrusters are simple reaction drives. Rockets, to be exact, burning a mixture of hydrogen and liquid oxygen. Technology that has been around from well before the Eugenics Wars. They are located on the Main Engineering deck at the ships center of gravity in four locations, two starboard and two to port, providing vectored thrust in any direction sufficient to allow us to maneuver in tight quarters such as a spacedock or a debris field. Compared to our impulse drive they are extremely low yield, relying on our Inertial Dampening System to lower the ships effective mass to the point where they can function at maximum efficiency.”

Jerry paused for breath, looking like a lemon had got into his hay. “This is very old tech for us and, with modern materials and control systems, practically foolproof. Ponies would have sold their souls at the dawn of the Space Age for these systems! As it was… at fourteen forty two and twenty seconds Thruster Number Ones’ ignition system shut down. In less than one-thousandth of a second after that the temperature in the ignition chamber dropped from twenty-three hundred degrees Celsius to exactly absolute zero… with no apparent cooling interval we could detect!” He took another deep breath, then. “ The ignition chamber fractured. However, contrary to every safeguard on the books, fuel and oxidizer continued to flow into the chamber which by now was clogged with a plug of frozen oxygen and hydrogen. Point one-one seconds later the thruster control systems received false data indicating the ships Inertial Damping had gone offline. The thruster throttled up accordingly to make up for it. At fourteen forty two and twenty one seconds the thrusters’ ignition system came back online. The thruster was now effectively a bomb… and behaved accordingly. Engineering bulkheads held. The outer hull over the thruster was completely blown out as the resultant explosion followed the path of least resistance. Thruster One is now an expanding plume of debris headed out for Deep Space at point zero one-one c. The telemetry is all here.” He produced the padd he brought with him and laid it on the table.

“Engineering reported half a dozen injuries. Two cases of second-degree burns as plasma from the event forced its way through adjacent component assemblies. Three cases of broken bones and aural trauma, it was one hell of a bang, from adjacent areas. Ensign Knight was passing along the bulkhead containing the thruster when it went. As I said, the bulkhead held… though it deformed deeply! Knight was walking along it and was punched into and off the far wall. He suffered two broken arms, skull fractures, broken ribs, a broken pelvis, and internal injuries galore. One of my most talented Unicorns, damn it! A damn sharp kid who may or may not die from something that should not physically be able to happen! Engineering is dangerous work, sure! But the danger is based on proven arcane and physical Science that we know and understand. Physics, arcane and otherwise, operate in accordance to established laws! This…!” He pointed an accusing finger at the data in the padd. “Is an out-and-out impossibility! I keep my Ponies safe as our jobs allow, Captain! I don’t know how this could have happened in my Department… and yet it did. And that’s my report.” He said, bitterly, and sat back down. He met nopony’s’ eyes and just glared at the padd in front of him.

Sunny spoke up in the uncomfortable silence. “Doctor Willowbark n’ his Trauma Team got t’ th’ Laddie in less’n three minutes. He’s a canny buck n’ didna waste a second in callin’ in Special Help in th’ form o’ our very own Number One Medical Assistant here.” She stroked Tyllae’s head who, her mouth being full, noddled enthusiastically!

“He was teleported t’ Sickbay at once and received intensive Magical and conventional healing therapies. He’s currently in a medically-induced coma while he completes healin’. Grand, tough Lad he is, I expect we can bring him out of it tomorrow. He’ll live but only time can tell if there was any lastin’ damage t’ his brain. Two o’ th’ skull fractures were depressed.” She pointed out delicately.

Tyllae swallowed and spoke up, rising into the air so all could see her.

“Fiffle-faffle! Tyllae fix up good! Everypony will see! Tyllae keep from going Knighty-Night!” Somehow she made the pun apparent without even trying! “Not remember a thing ‘bout getting alla hurt! Nope, nope, nope!”

“Get back doon n’ quit tootin’ yer horn, ye wee braggart! I’ll be final judge o’ what becomes o’ th’ poor Lad!” Sunny said, not unkindly, and hauled the smug Fey back to her snack by her beribboned tail!

But Tyllae only giggled and took up a carrot stick. She munched while the Captain spoke up.

“Nopony here is laying blame, Engineer. For reasons I will reveal after reports are done! Now, what is status of Navigation and Helm?”

Guiding Star stood and spoke in his slow voice. It seemed that, since he had seniority, he’d elected to speak for the both of them. “Evee and I have been going through the Navigation and Helm programming in the ships Main Computer. We haven’t found anything so far. And yet the Helm refuses to accept a course that does not take us nearer the Pegasus Epsilon. We did a little experimenting, though. At first we had a one hundred and seventy-nine degree range of motion relative to Pegasus Epsilon. We plotted a spiral course keeping us moving closer by one degree. At first everything was fine, but when we tried to go to warp we discovered that warp speed was unavailable for any course other than Cestus-III and Pegasus Epsilon! The commands just don’t make it out of the console. The circuits look live but when you try to change course it shuts right down just like the thing had a mind of its own. Darndest thing I ever did see! It’s the same story in Auxiliary Control, too. We thought about doing the math up here and having Engineering steer the ship without Helm input… but after what happened to the thrusters we kinda figured we’d hold off on that idea as a sort of last resort pending on what Starry finds out with the Main Computer, that is!”

“For what it’s worth…” Evee spoke up from where she sat. “Tactical Systems seem unimpaired. Our shields are up and weapons check out a-ok. I’m having hourly diagnostics being run in an effort to spot any potential trouble before it happens. If we get some warning maybe we can keep this from spreading… whatever it is!”

Taking that as a cue, I spoke up. “It’s not a fault in the programming of our Main Systems.” I stated flatly. “Although we haven’t had nearly enough time to go through every last byte yet I can say that there is no evidence of extraneous files or programming. It’s not a virus or malevolent subroutine. What I am picking up on is a dramatic increase in activity in the central processors of the Main Computer itself. Somehow the structure of the crystalline Processing Modules of the Computer Core itself have been… altered. Apparently by remote means. At present ten percent of the Core has been compromised.” I paused to rub my eyes, trying to shake off an urge to stifle yet another yawn. When I opened them I saw Xantippe putting a cup of decidedly non-Rushin tea in front of me. I smiled at her in gratitude and took a sip before continuing.

“This process began when we received the transmission that was thought to originate from Starfleet Command earlier today. It ceased after the thruster explosion as soon as the ships shields went up at the commencement of code Yellow Alert. Accordingly, I have ordered the Yellow Alert to be maintained since our shielding seems to be keeping the, ah, outside influence from inducing any further alterations.”

Caper, who had been toying with a stylus with his eye focused on the table, looked up at me sharply.

“What is nature of changes to Computer Core, Starry-pushka? Data removed? Damage to system? Is not like you to be vague. You make valiant Captain almost nervous!”

I gave our ‘valiant Captain’ a smirk! “Allow me to be more precise! Ahem! What I’m observing is in an increase of processor activity NOT being prompted by input from anypony onboard. The Main Computer seems to be running some process that is changing the way its operating system works. Mind you, this Quantum Duotronic System is already leaps and bounds more complex than anything installed on a Federation Starship to date… a precursor to the more complex systems slated to be installed on the new Constitution-Class ships in the next decade or so. It’s autonomous functions are enhanced to the point that its sometimes difficult to remember that one is dealing with a machine. More precisely, and unlike current systems, it is designed to act on its own programmed initiative with an eye toward making it more efficient. In the future one will simply ask them a question and the machine will decide on its own which constitutes the best, most logical, answer. The computer will research the data available on its own and the operator will be on hand to simply judge the results. It will be a real revolution in computing power. Doctor Daystorm, its creator, had every right to be proud!” I waved a hoof at the question swelling Caper’s lips. “It acts half-alive already. Based on what I’m observing… the process is being accelerated! In simpler terms the Computer has taken it into its head to act on its own. …And it has a different agenda than ours it would seem!”

Caper digested that for a few seconds. “Computer is deciding to running ship without our say-so, da?” He half-spread then shook his wings in irritation. “It goes without saying that you have isolated Main Computer from rest of ship, nyet?”

I nodded. “As far as one can cut a brain off from the rest of the body and expect it to live, yes I have. Most of our systems have sub-processers of their own. Although they were made to function in concert with the Main Computer it is possible for them to perform without it. The problem with this is that they have far less processing power than the Main Computer. I believe that we can bypass the Core to the point where we can run the ship… at the price of an enormously longer amount of time needed for each and every action. For instance, we can program a course correction but the computations will have to be run through the computers at the Helm, then transferred to Engineering to be run through their processors. An action that was implemented in less than a second before will take maybe two or three minutes now. Sufficient for gross navigation, but I’d hate to take us into combat with it in place!” I cleared my throat delicately. “That was perhaps a poor example since we know the Navigational computers on the Bridge were corrupted early on. If we bypass them as well it will take even longer to navigate… but at least we’ll be navigating on our terms!”

“Hmm…” Caper fairly growled, not pleased at all with what he was hearing. Then, “What are chances of replacing faulty sections of Main Computer? We carry spares, da?”

“No, we do not.” I was really hating to be the bearer of bad news! “For much the same reason ships don’t carry spare sets of dilithium crystals. It was felt that anything that could damage such well-protected systems would have destroyed the ship already! Oh, the modules can be replicated but they’re so fantastically intricate… the density of the molecular components mimics that of an Equine brain…that it could take the better part of a day to replace one module! With ten percent of the Core compromised it could take us more than a week of nonstop replication to come up with enough components. A process that would put an incredible strain on the computing power left to us to the point that we’d be flying deaf, blind, and dumb. That is assuming that the replicated modules check out! Like I said, they’re fantastically complicated. One atom out of line and the whole thing is just a high-tech doorstop!” I sighed apologetically. “This ship has been highly automated so that we could get by with such a relatively small crew. The Main Computer is just too much to do without! Sorry, Caper! But that’s where we stand right now!”

“It gets even better.” Jerry put in. “Under the circumstances Starry outlines we wouldn’t be able to do much better than Time Warp Five, flat out! Not if we want to maintain safe control over antimatter containment, that is!”

It was only because I had seen the movie that I recognized where Sunny was coming from when she said…

“Aye, looks like I picked a bad week t’ stop sniffin’ glue, t’ be sure!”

The comment earned her a few odd looks but Caper ignored her!

“…So!” He began in a dangerously calm voice. “As I understand we will have only limited control of Ship at best, da?”

Jerry and I nodded in unison.

“We can return Home to make Starfleet aware of conditions prevailing in this sector, da?”

“I believe so, yes.” I told him.

“But would whole fleet of ships have better chance of dealing with strangeness we have discovered, I wonder?” Caper rubbed his chin. “Make no mistake, Ponies! We are in precarious position… but do not relish idea of turning tail and running like frightened foal at first sign of danger! For whatever reason, this ship was singled out in this place and have uncomfortable feeling that what singled us out would follow us back. Would much rather deal with it out here rather than in heart of Federation!” He sat up straighter in his seat and pointed to the three-sided monitor on the table.

“Is time now for all of you to view message I received late this morning. Before I present let me say this. One reason Starfleet came into being…perhaps not sole reason… but one on minds of Ponies for millennia, was to locate Goddesses of antiquity! Is my belief that circumstances of this voyage show that we are very close indeed to finding answer. Is also my belief that there is at least one being who does not want us to do that. This being, I believe, sent this message. Is not rational or logical to believe this. …But belief is neither rational of logical, da? Is very Pony thing, I think. Thing that makes us special among all beings we have encountered from Vulcans…” He nodded to Sekkack. “To Tellarites…” He nodded to Bogan who looked up and grimaced a grin. “…To even Leetle Pooka!” He hooked a thumb at the industriously munching little Fey who smiled at him with bulging cheeks.

“Klingons and Romulans I do not count! They are about as Pony as Fehrengi and Orions and Rigellians, bah!” He dismissed them with a wave of his hoof before indicating the screens again.

“Watch now. This will explain, I think.”

He triggered the playback and even we who had seen it before leaned forward in our seats as ‘Admiral Quicksilver’ gave his orders again.

Silence reigned after the screen went dark for several seconds. I wondered how things would fall out…

Merry spoke first. “Oy can’t speak fer the rest of these Ponies, Skipper…” She began. “’Ell! Oy’m not sure Oy believe what yer layin’ out meself! But you ain’t ever led us wrong all these years, not one bloomin’ bit! You think there’s somethin’ to this, that’s good enough fer me! Whoever that choom is, ‘e’s got real balls of brass thinkin’ ‘e can chivvy us ‘round loik that! Oy fer one would loik the chance ta kick ‘em up round ‘is ears!” She jutted her jaw out defiantly at the screen. “ If them Goddesses’re dead and gone loik ‘e says then Oy’m thinkin’ it’s up to us to take ‘im down a peg or two! Just on general principles, ya understand!” She looked around the table to the rest of us. “Even if it is that Discord fella ‘e can’t be so much if a bunch if ‘e let a bunch of low-tech Ponies kick ‘im off the planet way back when!”

“I should like to point out…” Sekkack steepled his claws before him on the table. “That the creature, Discord, was in command of vast allegedly supernatural power. It is my understanding, based on my study of Equestrian History, that the Ponies of those days were similarly equipped. Although much historical data has been lost in the proceeding centuries references exist to an artifact…or artifacts, the histories give conflicting accounts, that were instrumental in his downfall.”

“Th’ Elements o’ Harmony.” Sunny put in, looking a little irritated.

The Vulcan nodded. “Just so. The fact that these ‘Elements’ no longer appear to be in existence only bolsters the belief among many non-Ponies that the entire tradition is little more than revered folklore. The Vulcan Science Academy has determined to its satisfaction the what Ponies call ‘Magic’ is nothing more an advanced psionic discipline unique to your species that surpasses Vulcan techniques.” He paused, his face going even more carefully neutral. “I, for one, do not believe in Angels quadrepedal or otherwise. Nor do I believe in the existence of chimerical demon archetypes. Rather than invest our present dilemma with an unnecessary amount of irrational, supernatural dread I believe that we should proceed with the actual facts at hand. Fact One; An Alien Entity or a cabal of conspirators within the ranks of the Federation are capitalizing on the Legend of the Goddesses to their own end. Their aim is to sow confusion in the ranks of the Federations most influential members, possibly with the aim of staging a coup to destabilize or take over the Federation. It is an axiom of science that the simplest explanation is the best. I submit that the baser aspects of Pony behavior are problematic enough without having to invoke supernatural subterfuge.”

“What’s th’ Vulcan translation o’ th’ word ‘arrogance’, ye patronizin’, fuzzy, round-eared computer!” Sunny spat out. I was really afraid she was going to launch her tea cup at Sekkack!

Caper reined her in with his Command Voice! He never shouts, his seemingly calm and low tone being far more menacing!

“Doctor Cross!” His eyes latched onto hers like tractor beams. “Mr. Sekkack is entitled to opinion, nyet? Please to compose yourself with dignity befitting a Starfleet Officer or remove yourself from room.” He met her blazing lavender eyes with his glacial gray ones and continued in duranium tones while I flinched! “Make no mistake. Is not debate, Good Doctor! I can and will have Security escort you to cabin…or brig… if you continue to disrupt this briefing. We all need facts, not histrionics, to face problem at hoof. In deference to Commander I give you choice. Make it and make it now.”

The Mare in my head urged me to take notes and I was too shocked to shush her up!

Sunny had initially reared back in surprise… she just isn’t used to being bucked…before leaning back in to glare at the Captain.

“Ye wouldna dare….” She locked eyes with him for a long second and I held my breath. I couldn’t just sit by idly while my Beloved got herself court-martialed!

“Sunny…!” I began, but Caper simply pointed a finger at me from the table without taking his eyes off the irate Alicorn before him. Such was the amount of sheer, imperious power he put into the gesture that I shut up at once! Even Tyllae, cowed by Caper’s status of ‘Chief Faery’ no doubt, dropped her carrot and held her piece.

Sunny’s wings were half furled though Caper held his neatly close as he locked eyes with her. After another breathless moment, though, Sunny’s eyes lost their hardness. She didn’t quite slump but she did relax her stance significantly.

“Aye…” She chewed her lips for an instant. “Could be ye would, at that.” She said quietly. “Sure n’ who would blame ye?” She sat back in her seat and coughed a Marelike cough into her hoof before continuing. “Beggin yer pardon, Captain Yer Honor.” She shot a guilty look at Sekkack who simply sat waiting for the ruckus to die down. “N’ I’m beggin’ yer pardon too, Mr. Sekkack. ‘Th’ Baser Aspects o’ Pony Behavior’, forsooth!” She essayed a weak smile in his direction.

“I was not passing a judgment, Doctor Cross.” The Vulcan inclined his head and closed his eyes for a moment in an oddly ceremoniously looking bow to Sunny. “I was merely stating a fact… as observed from outside your species. As for your apology it is unnecessary. I am incapable being insulted.” A fleeting, barely suppressed Faery giggle tinkled in the background. The Vulcan continued smoothly. “I is unfortunate that I caused you…or any of those present… any discomfort. I was merely endeavoring to address our mutual situation in a rational, logical manner. If I may continue…?” He looked to Caper expectantly.

Caper swept the room with his eyes first. “Trust point has been made, da? We are all in same sled with Timber Wolves running alongside. We must work together and in unison toward finding way around this horseapple!” He grunted softly before addressing the Vulcan directly. “Subject of Goddesses is divisive one among Ponies, Comrade Sekkack. Feelings run high on both side! Alicorns like Good Doctor have strong ties to old traditions. Unicorns and Noble Pegasus Race mostly feel much same way. Earth Ponies… not so much!” He shrugged. “Is way things are these days. Pray continue!”

The Vulcan nodded. “Fact Two; This vessel has become compromised. It’s functions are being interfered with to the point that it may be impossible for us to carry out further investigation. While it is true that running with our shields up seems to be preventing any further degradation to our systems it is not unreasonable to assume that, as we draw nearer to the source of the interference, such countermeasures may become ineffective. At this point it behooves me to point out that an all-powerful, apparently omniscient creature like the Entity, Discord, would hardly need to endure any such restraint. This seems to reinforce my theory that we are dealing with a strictly corporeal, physical adversary. By the same token, an equally omniscient and all powerful pair of Goddesses should be able to counteract such activity if they indeed are working for the good of Ponykind. Gods, by definition, are beyond restraint.” He paused for a moment, like a Professor waiting for questions.

“Am assuming next fact is conclusion that we should return to Federation Space, nyet?” Caper asked, eyeing the Vulcan closely.

“It would seem to be the logical conclusion, Captain.” Sekkack said reasonably. “This ships computer systems could be purged or replaced. The shielding could be reinforced before returning to this sector. Or an automated probe could be sent in to evaluate the conditions to better prepare the next ship for what awaits it. We are hardly operating under a time constraint.”

“’Admiral Quicksilver’ would not agree, Comrade Sekkack.”

“We are under no obligation to honor the request of an unknown, presumed hostile entity.” Sekkack pointed out.

“There is crux of problem, Sekkack-bubula!” Caper thumped the table with a hoof. “ Enemy is unknown. Capabilities and nature of Enemy are unknown. We have too many unknowns to justify turning back now. Our job is to explore, da? To investigate! Another ship would be just as much in dark as we are at this point.” He paused and raised one finger. “But we have asset other ships do not have! We have actual witness to both Goddesses and the Cossack, Discord! Did not call Leetle Pooka here just to munch up surplus snacks!” He gestured to the little Fey. “Leetle Pooka! Please to give report!”

Tyllae swallowed her latest mouthful quickly and took a quick draw from the straw stuck into a cup of what I suspected was some very sweet tea before flitting up to where she could survey the assembled crowd. She waved to one and all!

“Hi-hii, everypony! Hi-hii, Mr. See-kack! Hi-hii, Mr. Bogey! Cappy Caper says what Tyllae knows is very, very, very important! Cappy Caper wants Tyllae to give a big, big, big ree-port jus’ like any other member of Her-mees Tribe! Tyllae is proud to do an wants to help. Yep, yep, yep!”

With that she drew herself up and put a hoof to her breast in what I imagine passes for classic Faery rhetoric style before launching into her account of Equestrian prehistory, Trees and all! He static posture didn’t last for ten seconds since she had such an attentive audience! The little Fey was flitting back and forth in no time, waving her hooves wide in emphasis, arching her little body to describe Evil and soaring angelically to show the Good, even bursting into radiance from the Other Side to illustrate it… something the vast majority of those present had only heard about second hoof!

But she had been listening after all. Eventually the tale wound its way back to the subject of Discord…

“Faeries had littlest reason to fight Discord. Discord was different, yep, yep, yep! Discord not bad… not good, either. Discord just Discord! Long, long, longago Discord come onna This Side an find Magic Discord brought with really, really, really strong! But This Side not like Other Side, nope, nope, nope! Things stay put an wanna stay put same way as when began. There was no Magic in every little bit of everything here. Issa nice changea pace from Other Side! Magic on thissa side gotta be found or made to come. Ponies like Unicornies an Alicornies found out how… a little, anyway. Even Earthy-Ponies gotta Magic, too! Quiet Magic ‘waay down deepa inside! Just like Starry!” The little mite flitted over to point a hoof at me in illustration.

I blinked. “Speak for yourself, kiddo! I have the Magic Potential of a parsnip! Just ask Starfleet!” I went through the obligatory testing like any other cadet. I wondered why they bothered at the time. Now, hearing Tyllae talk, I had second thoughts…

“Thatta buncha stinky-bugs!” Tyllae scolded. “All there onna Cutie-Mark! Starry Eyes always look to higher, better things! Yep, yep, yep! Starry work hard onna ‘Questris an have bad, bad, bad time ‘cause Starry keep eyes fixed on what beyond mines an rocks! Starry help other Ponies do same thing! Help other Ponies lift eyes higher an wanna be better Ponies! Even Tyllae sees that an Tyllae not even a Pony, silly Starry!”

“I think you’re confusing my work ethic for something else, Squirt!” I said gently. “Anyway, you were talking about Discord!”

“Earthy-Ponies alla like!” Tyllae sighed, then… “Discord have nothing to look higher to. Tyllae an resta Faeries think Discord all hollow inside, never happy with self so looka outside self to be happy. But nothing ever works for more thanna little while so Discord gets all bored an uses Magic to change things to make interesting again an again an again. But nothing ever works, Starry! So Discord keeps making things different, the more different, the better! Bigger changes alla time to keep from having to look inside empty, lonely place! Poor Discord!” Tyllae huddled in mid-air and shook her elfin head sadly.

Caper stirred and rumbled. “May not be expert in Pony History from back in Leetle Pooka days, but seem to remember that Discord made life miserable for everypony every chance he got. Is hard to think of a ‘poor’ Discord!”

“All things change, Cappy Caper! Faeries livea long, long, long time an see it happen to everything! Discord never used to be mean. Both sides in Big Fight try an try an try to kill Discord when Discord not take sides! Discord very powerful an both sides afraid that Discord would beat both! But Discord jus wanna be left alone to do what Discord wants. Dark Magic, Bright Magic, spells terrible an beautiful makea no matter. Discord turned all into nonsense an jokes all bya self with no help, nope, nope, nope! But Good an Bad Faeries alla time fighting gave Discord idea. Discord learned how to be cruel, learned that making others sad can take mind off own misery! Discord changed, Cappy Caper, like Chaos Discord likes so much!” Tyllae flitted into the Captain’s face, trying so hard to make him see!

“When Big Fight all done an Bad Faeries all gone or fled back to Other Side Faeries made big, big, big talk with Celestia about whatta do ‘bout Discord. Celestia wanna kill Discord. Celestia see no other way! Discord, with alla Discord’s Enemies gone, roamed alla world using Magic of Chaos to make things all topsy-turvy. But Discord found that making Ponies sad an scared ‘specially fun so Discord stayed inna ‘Questria. Not many Faeries left for Discord to have fun with. But Faeries know Chaos, too, an were not bothered so much by what Discord did. Faeries always could fix, anyway, so was not so bad!” The mercurial Fey shrugged nonchalantly. “Discord knew Celestia very, very, very strong with Bright Magic! Stronger than whole armies of Faeries all at once, yep, yep, yep! Discord stay anyway. Many Faeries think Discord wanna force Celestia to make big fight. Think that Discord wanna be killed so not feel so empty any longer. Poor, poor, poor Discord! But wise Faeries, like Tyllae, remember that Discord loved Celestia from long, long, longago! Always wanna be with but too scared that Celestia would send away! Tyllae thinks Discord stayed not to be all killed but to have chance to make Celestia see how Discord feels. Maybe Celestia would fill empty place with something besides self. …But all things change! Maybe Discord did go loco inna coco a little. When Celestia an Discord met was big fight, Power against Power. Bright Magic against Chaos! Maybe Chaos too much for even Discord. Magic does what Magic does, no one person can hope to hold alla Magic inna self an be unchanged! But Faeries were there inna end ‘cause even Celestia needed help! Faeries helped make Special Magic using alla things that make Good Ponies… an Faeries… Good. Made Power of Good Virtues infused with big, big, big Magic! With these special Harmonious Elements Celestia beat Discord. Wise Faeries, who know that nothing is really forever, begged Celestia to be wise an not kill poor, poor, poor Discord. There is always Hope for better change. Even Discord gets another chance! Wise Celestia showed Mercy an used Elemental Magic to show Discord empty place inside Discord. Make Discord see that Discord made empty place! Discord never let anypony in ever, ever, ever! Celestia wanted Discord to see that was always room for more than just Self! …But Discord was all afraid an scardey. Even atta end could not let go of Self even for end of loneliness. Poor, poor, poor Discord! So wise, good, beautiful Celestia… seeing that Faeries were right… used Magic not to kill Discord, but to make into stone against day when Discord would be able to face Self again!” Tyllae shuddered. “Being made into stone issa no pic-a-nic! Musta been very, very, very hard for poor Discord! Sunny told Tyllae Discord got out while Tyllae was all stonyied. Told Tyllae that Discord got all better an became Nice. Sunny said Discord and Celestia an Luna all go ‘way years an years an years ago someplace inna Stars.” She waved a hoof at the ceiling. “Tyllae thinks Discord never leave Celestia, nope, nope, nope! Discord never hurt Celestia, nope, nope, NOPE! Tyllae wonders if Discord somehow turned Celestia to stone an hid waaay out inna Space? Anywho…” She shook her head, the deedle-balls on her antenna jangling! She flitted over to point an accusing hoof at the screens. “Tyllae knows that no Quicky-Silver Pegasus! Tyllae knows Discord! Faery eyes not so bad as to not see!” She abruptly flitted over to hover in front of Mr. Sekkack. “Tyllae thinks Mr. See-Kack is wrong! Sorry, Mr. See-Kack! Discord all too real an Discord knows little Tyllae onna Her-mees! Tyllae is not the brightest flower inna bed but Tyllae wise enough to know Discord does not want Tyllae just to play with! Nope, nope, nope!”

The Vulcan regarded the little Few patiently until she finished. “A sufficiently powerful telepath could make you believe what you want to believe, Tyllae. To make assumptions based on…”

“Bah!” Bors spat out. He looked the Vulcan from top to bottom… and did it again, a contemptuous sneer on his shaggy face. “As they say back on Tellar, if it waddles like a wayo, honks like a wayo, and humps your leg like a wayo… it must BE a wayo!”

“A cloud may look like a cotton ball but it is most certainly not cotton.” Sekkack pointed out.

Tyllae cocked her head at Bor. “Whassa ‘why-oo’?”

“Thank you for report, Leetle Pooka. You have been beeg help. Please to sit down now, da?”

The little Fey zoomed back to her snacks obediently where she tugged at Sunny’s sleeve and whispered. “Did Tyllae do ok, Sunny? Tyllae never did a ree-port before!”

“Sure n’ ye did just fine, Dear!” She stroked the tiny head with a finger. “At least ye dinna almost get yer wee self tossed in Brig!”

“Aww! Cappy Caper didn’t really wanna do! Sunny gotta ‘member that Cappy Caper is Chief! Just wanna keep mind onna big, big, big problem! Tyllae remembers Tyllae’s Chief, Maeglym! Hard to keep bunch Faeries in line, Sunny…!”

I gave Sunny a kick under the table and she made haste to hush the little Fey as Caper spoke!

“Until we get evidence otherwise,” He nodded to Sekkack. “Is my opinion that we proceed under assumption that what we are shown is in fact what we see. Who knows? If fake then maybe we make overconfident enough to give us chance in critical situation, da? Same thing applies if real. Let Discord think he has us under hoof. We will watch and analyze every move. He is nothing if not arrogant and maybe will underestimate fact that twenty-two centuries have made Science as powerful as Magic, nyet? Discord does not hold all cards! Maybe we can dish out nasty surprise or two yet!” He swept us all with his gaze before continuing.

“Realize Ship is in critical condition. We are all in grave danger. But if we turn back now we will still know next to nothing! Even if Starfleet could put together task force it would be made of technically inferior ships. Upgraded designs of which we are test bed will not be available for maybe decade or more. Is my opinion that risking one ship is better than risking fleet. What else is Scout-Class ship for, da? We will go in, eyes open and alert! Exploration is dangerous but that is what we are all about, nyet? Comments, anypony?”

Sekkack folded his paws on the table patiently. “In view of the fact that I am not a member of Starfleet I do not presume that I am in a position to go against the dictates of the Captain. I have stated my opinion. Having done so I am, of course, willing to do anything I can to assist with the mission at hand. I am at your disposal, Captain Caper.”

“Ha! There is hope for the Vulcans yet!” Bors squealed a laugh. “There is more to the Universe than stale logic and cold Science!” He rubbed his paws together eagerly. “To turn back now would be a loss of face for all of us and the Federation. How could we not go on? Count me in, Captain!” He thumped the table with one hairy paw in emphasis of his point.

Jerry rubbed his jaw before speaking. “Look, I’m an Engineer and not a Theaologist! I put my faith in proven Arcane and Physical Science. Whether the Goddesses exist doesn’t matter much to me one way or another, but this Discord character… whatever he is… represents a threat to the Federation no matter how you slice it! As far as I’m concerned I agree with the Captain. We’ve got a crackerjack ship here even with our current difficulties. So far it’s just an Engineering problem. Give my ponies a little time and we’ll work them out. I’ve got a few ideas I want to run by Starry as far as circumventing the Main Computer but even if that doesn’t pan out I can guarantee you at least seventy-five percent power and mobility in a couple of days… which puts about where we were during the War!” He nodded grimly. “ We handled the Romulans well enough so we can handle whatever ‘Discord’ dishes out.”

“I hate t’ be th’ one t’ be puttin’ a fly in yer applesauce…” Sunny put in. “But I hae t’ point out tha’ we’ll be a-goin’ up against a Magical foe. T’ ma knowledge th’ Federation, grand thing that it is, never fought an enemy wi’ Magical Capability afore!”

“You’re forgetting the Eugenics Wars!” Jerry retorted. “They were fought using Magic and Science! Our arsenal is more advanced than then. Even Celestia would feel it after taking a phased-balefire hit!”

Sunny pulled a sour face at the comment but didn’t press the issue.

“Is where you and Leetle Pooka come in!” Caper said. “Between the two we can augment our capability, nyet?”

“You are discussing tactics.” Sekkack said. “It may not have to come down to a conflict. Discord may be reasoned with yet.”

“Discord is no a rational bein’!” Sunny looked skeptical. “No tellin’ which way th’ Laddie will jump when push comes t’ shove!”

“Tyllae will help! Yep, yep, yep!” The little Fey leapt into the air to hover in front of Sunny. “Tyllae does not want to see any of Tyllae’s friends or Discord get hurt, nope, nope, nope! Tyllae has spells Tyllae will show to Jerry-Jer’s Unicornies to help keep everypony safe! Big Magic! Yep, yep, yep! Everypony see! Tyllae is only a little Faery but Tyllae can be a big help!” The little tyke was so touchingly eager to help that I had to suppress a smile. …I just hoped that magic, like antimatter, packed a wallop in even small quantities!

“There ya go, then!” Merry threw a hoof out at Tyllae. “If worse comes to worse we’ll just turn ol’ Tilly loose on the bloody blighter! The choom’ll never know wot ‘it ‘im once she does ‘er ol’ switcheroo!”

Tyllae flitted in front of Merry and waved a hoof at her, shaking her elfin head. “No, no, no, Merry! Tyllae has Bright Magic of Other Side but so did alla Faeries back inna day an it wasn’t enough! An Tyllae is not happy ‘bout the crystal Discord carries! Nope, nope, nope! Tyllae thinks Discord made a really, really, really Big Magic to use lika Celestia an Faeries did once ‘ponna time!”

THAT statement certainly got everypony’s attention! Sekkack frowned ever so slightly, Jerry looked intensely attentive, and Sunny looked grim.

“What?” Tyllae whirled in place as we all stared. “Is plain assa wings! Very, very, very powerful Magic in crystal-thingy!” She shook her tiny head. “Issa good, good, good thing Tyllae is here to point these kina things out!”

“Are ye sayin’ then, Dearie, tha Discord hae summat akin t’ Th’ Elements t’ do his dirty work wi’ nowadays?” Sunny asked gently.

“Tyllae thinks so, yep, yep, yep!” The little Fey noddled enthusiastically.

“Maybe he does, maybe not.” Caper said decisively. “We still go on! Top Priority remains same, we gather all information we can about Discord until we can use against him. Biggest concern to me now is whether or not we can get word to Starfleet to appraise of situation. Is any chance to pierce communications blackout, Starry-pushka?”

I pushed aside my misgivings long enough to address the Captain. “Since our shielding seems to be keeping his influence at bay, at least at this range, we may be able skew the shielding enough to allow us an opening enough to transmit and maybe receive for a little while. We can also deploy a recorder marker from our present location and set it to start transmitting after we leave. Hopefully Discord won’t be able to perceive or understand its purpose. That being the case, we can just drop off a string of the things as we go. It’s worth a try, anyway!”

Caper nodded. “Is best we can do under circumstances. Implement plan. We will proceed to Cestus-III at best speed and per directive of would-be Admiral. We will use time to prepare ourselves as best we can. We have our tasks, Ponies! Suggest we get to them! If no other comments…” He looked around the room for a moment. “Dismissed… and may luck be with us all, da?”

“Inta th’ Abyss…” Sunny said.

“Never say ‘die’!” Bors dredged up from somewhere.

“Say ‘kill’! Eh, eh?” Merry added.

Sekkack frowned bemused, perhaps, by the antics of illogical Ponies. Tyllae flitted over to pat him on the shoulder.

“Everything gonna be oakey-dokes, Mr. See-kack! Just wait an see!”

…I wished I had her optimism!

Chapter Thirty One- Under Way

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

UNDER WAY

“First Officers Log, Stardate 1007.7. Commander Starry-Eyes recording. The Hermes is on course for Cestus-III at space normal speed. The ships Main Computer is still compromised but our bypass measures will be coming online shortly and we expect to retain at least seventy-five percent efficiency in all ship’s systems.
It has been five days since we received the false transmission for Starfleet Command and all shifts have been working non-stop to restore secure control of the ship. Note commendations to all Departments for their efforts with the modifications.

In an intership communication five days ago, Captain Caper informed the crew of our situation and advised them of the nature of the adversary we’ve been pitted against. While opinion among the crew seems divided in regards to the authenticity of the being, Discord, morale remains high. Among the ‘Believers’, if I might use that term, there seems to be a real sense of anticipation building while the ‘Non-Believers’, who either outrightly scoff at the idea or maintain a neutral position, seem to regard this as just the sort of thing they joined Starfleet for… an Adventure in the Unknown. It is interesting to note and perhaps it is a comment about the nature of Ponies after the Romulan War that we veterans seem to represent a sort of transitionary period in Starfleet between ourselves and a newer, more idealistic breed of ‘New Ponies’… that is the term I heard used in the Media back on Earth…that Starfleet is drawing its ranks from in the future. I have noticed the change in the emphasis in our training between the wartime Federation and the peacetime. Our newer crewponies seem inclined to be more open-minded in their dealings with other species than we stodgy soldiers!

As a case in point, most of the Senior Staff are in the Non-Believer camp, the notable exception being Sunny, myself, and quite possibly Captain Caper. Merry doesn’t give a flying buck one way or the other, it seems, as long as she’s in on the scrap! Dazzle, Stimbolt, Melody, and the rest of the, ahem, Younger Generation (Did the War age the rest of us so much?) seem to accept Tyllae and her story at face value. The prevailing opinion seems to be that even The Goddesses can find a place within a Federation that co-exists with so many Aliens. Is this simply the optimism of Youth or are they, indeed, fundamentally different Ponies than those who waged the Eugenics Wars? …And since when did I become a member of the ‘Older Generation’? Hmph!

Ahem! Our efforts to deploy a Recorder Marker were a success. To bypass the Main Computer entirely all our information and logs were transcribed directly into a tricorder and uploaded into the Recorder’s memory banks. Not surprisingly, we have detected a Magical Aura surrounding the ship effectively isolating us from the electromagnetic and subspace influences of the rest of the Galaxy. Nonetheless Jerry and I determined it was just possible, by dint of precision spellcasting on the part of the Unicorn Engineers as well as deft manipulation of our electronic shielding within the limits of the technology, to pierce this Aura long enough for us to deploy the Marker. To cover its launch we broadcasted an abbreviated version of our message through the opening as the Recorder Marker went through. The attempt succeeded and no increase in the strength of the Aura, no retaliation of any kind, has been forthcoming. The Marker was programmed to remain silent for three days before activating itself, givin us time to move well away. Discord’s attention will be focused on the Ship and it seems he did not, or cannot, detect such a small target… at least at this range.

The Aura was pierced for less than a tenth of a second but in that amount of time Communications picked up a repeating burst transmission from Starfleet Command to all ships in this sector. The Hermes, it seems, has been incommunicado for some weeks now! Any ship coming into sensor contact with us are being required to hail us immediately to advise us to contact Starfleet at once. Automated, repeating calls to us have been transmitted from Starfleet facilities all along the fringes of Tellarite and Andorian Space as well as Equestris, itself. Admiral Quicksilver… the real one… is quite concerned!

Whereas it’s good to know that Starfleet is aware that we’re in trouble… or at the very least they know that something is wrong… the fact remains that they are weeks or perhaps months away from sending help. We are well and truly on our own, but that’s just part of the job. This time, though, so much is riding on the outcome… one way or the other.
Copy to Science Officer’s Log, Commander Starry-Eyes, out.”

I logged off and swiveled my chair around just in time to see Jerry come out of the turbolift. He nodded to the Captain and made straight for his station where he conferred with Lieutenant Sprocket, who commanded this station on this Watch, and checked the readouts once again before coming up to Caper’s chair.

There was an air of expectancy on the Bridge today. Earlier this morning our by-pass repairs had been completed and pre-flight checks had been going on ever since. If they were acceptable we’d be getting underway under Time Warp Drive today. Otherwise Cestus-III would be more that eleven and a quarter years away at Space Normal speed! As Jerry approached, Caper caught my eye motioned me over with a tilt of his head.
Jerry look preoccupied and more that a little tired as I came up.

“Hay there, Starry.”

“Hay, Jerry. What’s the word? Are we getting under way today?” I don’t believe he’d slept for the last day and a half. I hoped this would work if only for his sake!

“As far as the simulations say, yes! The closest thing we have to a problem is the synchronization of the Inertial Dampeners and their Compensators. The lag involved in shunting them through the Sensory Processors has then coming out borderline safe two out of five times. The rest of the time they’re strained but ok. It’s hard to see just what part of the system is giving us problems in simulation. We’d be able to identify once we actually gets going and it happens. Right now it’s just a statistical probability.” He crossed his arms and shrugged with a sigh. “That’s as far as we can get it nailed down without actually accelerating, Captain, unless you want to wait another day for us to go through the systems again.”

Caper grunted, then… “Am not inclined to linger in vicinity of Marker Buoy. If we stay so slow maybe prying eyes will have that much more time to take in other scenery, da? Let us be fast moving target that takes more watching! Hopefully systems malfunction only leetle bit enough to reveal themselves.” We all looked up as Xantippe, padd tucked under one arm, made her smooth, shuffling way over to stand just off to the side with her eyes cast down deferentially.

“Otherwise we are ready, da?” He asked Jerry.

“As ready as we’re going to be. Yes, sir!” Jerry said resolutely.

Caper nodded once. “Da, then! Assume stations, everypony! We get under way! Merry, please to put me on intership speakers.”

“Ain’t loik Oy’m able to do much else these days, Skipper! Moight as well take up knittin’ ta whoile away the time. Tell ya what! Oy’ll make ya a noice sweater as me first project!” She worked her board and made a final connection, nodding to Caper that he was on ship-wide intercom and neatly cutting him off from any retorts!

Caper quirked a dangerous, bushy eyebrow at her before speaking up! “This is Captain. All decks prepare for Time Warp Drive in ten seconds. Be advised, this could be rough.” He nodded curtly to Merry who switched him off. Then, to Evee, “Lay in course for Cestus-III. Are trying for Warp Five but make best speed we can, da?”

“Aye-aye, Sir. Updating course for Cestus-III. Going to Time Warp in five seconds.” Evee and Guiding Star worked their shared boards.

Caper nodded. “Accelerate at half speed. Is reasonable precaution, nyet?” He took the padd from Xantippe and gave it a cursory look before scrawling his signature with a fingertip. He handed it back to her and sat up ramrod-straight. Xantippe took the padd without a word and stepped back to stand behind Caper on his right, her ears drooping just a bit as the poor Zebra mare made ready for her least favorite Starfleet routine.

Evee flicked a glance to Jerry hovering about Sprocket’s station. Jerry spared her just enough attention to nod back curtly. Evee poised her fingers on her board before toggling the engine into action. All through the Ship the low thrum of the Warp Drive began.

“Initiating Time Warp Drive at one-half acceleration.” She said quietly, scanning her board intently.

I turned back to my board and called up a display into my viewer. A graphic of the Hermes sprang into being englobed in its emerging Warp Field as the high-energy plasma from the Warp Core and it’s dilithium-laced reaction chamber flowed from Engineering down into the long engine nacelle slung underneath the ship on the end of the connecting support superstructure. There it passed through the series of coils lining the core of the cylindrical structure inducing the controlled spacewarp pioneered by Starbubble so long ago in much the same way that magnetism induces an electric current in the copper coils of an old-style generator.

In ten seconds Spacetime had curved around the Hermes in its protective bubble. The Ship was officially in subspace and was in a position to cut ‘below’ the curve of normal Spacetime. Four seconds later, at Warp threshold, the bubble began to flatten somewhat its long axis pointing forward in the direction of our intended course. A perceptible tremor quivered for the barest fraction of a second through the Ship and everything in it as Evee intoned, “Warp One.” The Time Warp Field flattened even more at its forward end, dragging the Hermes along its line of travel. To an observer from beyond the Field we were now moving at the speed of light itself the Inertial Compensators, by their virtue of lowering our apparent mass, neatly avoiding the Relativistic energy-to-mass ratios of normal space. (It’s interesting that everypony hails Starbubble for the Time Warp Drive while forgetting his development of the Inertial Compensator that makes it possible! That’s History for you!)

As I watched, the Field contracted again as the sounds of the Engine rose in pitch. Spacetime resistance built up forward of the Hermes, not unlike the wind resistance felt by old-style aircraft struggling against the once-infamous Sound Barrier. In those days the shapes of the aircraft had to be redesigned to allow better aerodynamic performance. Nowadays the Time Warp Field itself alters it shape to alter its spatialdynamics to allow it to pass through quicker. Like the variable-geometry wings of those bygone aircraft, the Field flattened even more as the Hermes progressed ‘deeper’ into subspace where the universe itself seems to contract and the distances between the stars grows less.

Each Warp Factor represents the cube of our apparent velocity. Time Warp Two, when it came at twenty-eight seconds, indicated that we were now moving at a relative velocity of eight time the speed of light. At forty-two seconds underway we achieved Time Warp Three as twenty-seven times ‘c’. As I scanned my board I noted sourly that, as Navigation utilized more and more of my Sensors processing power, the range of my long-range sensors dwindled. Well, given our current circumstances, it couldn’t be helped! My computers were doing the job of Helm and Navigation, making the billions of calculations that both kept us on course as well as maintaining the Inertial Dampers and Compensators. If either of those systems faltered for even a nanosecond even an atoms worth of course change at transrelativistic velocities would reduce us all to carbonized films on whatever deck or wall lay opposite or direction of travel… right before the Ship tore itself to bits! …A fact that Xantippe was acutely aware of, poor thing!

Time Warps Three and Four came and went, the normally barely perceptible tremors of each Warp Threshold more pronounced and prolonged as our systems strained to take up the slack normally taken up by the Main Computer. I did another quick survey of the Sensors and swiveled my seat to inform Caper.

“Long-range Sensors down to ten light-years capability, Captain.”

Caper sat in his seat looking around an everything at once while not seeming to, looking thoughtful at the performance of the Ship so far.

“Noted, Starry-pushka. How do we do, Jerry?”

Jerry never took his eyes of the board he was sharing. “So far so good, Captain. Warp Field nominal, antimatter containment nominal. Arcane dilithium matrix nominal. Inertial Dampers and Compensation nominal.” I was hoping to hear a note of relief in his voice…

“Helm?” Caper asked.

“Steady on course and handling well, Captain. Coming up on Time Warp Five. …Four point eight…four point nine…Time Warp Five!”

It is a quirk of the Hermes that the Time Warp Five threshold was more pronounced than the others. Perhaps the effect would present itself at Warp Ten as well, but we’d never pushed the Engine that far before. As it was, as soon as we hit Warp Five the whole ship gave a lurch as a nearly subsonic rumble passed throughout its entire being. At once we all felt a ghostly tug toward the back of the Bridge in the direction of the turbolift as if the whole ship had begun to climb a hill! It lasted just long enough to make us brace against its pull, then faded away! The Red Alert began to sound and flash!

“Engineer!” Caper barked.

“There it is!” Jerry said excitedly. “Potential fault in the Compensators! We’re on it!” Sprocket’s fingers were already dancing on the displays pointed out by Jerry’s stabbing finger!

“Maintain current speed, Helm.” Caper said calmly.

“Holding at Warp Five point two-one-six, aye!” Evee acknowledged in her incredibly calm tones, both of them aware that the slightest change in speed…even decelerating… could have disastrous consequences in the event of a total Compensator failure.

My eyes flew back to my own display but not before taking in the sight of Xantippe standing with eyes closed, her free hoof wrapped around the amulet round her neck. She whispered something, apparently in Zebrican from the sound of it. Yeah, it rhymed!

I called up the Ships System Status display and studied it for a fraction of a second before calling out. “No stresses in Spaceframe. Hull integrity intact. Warp Field stable.”

“Ditto for antimatter containment!” Jerry added, working part of Sprocket’s board quickly. “Reassigning processor priorities to Engineering to isolate and reroute the problem!”

A warning flashed on my display as further tugs pulled at us, not more strongly but more numerous! The ends of my manedo twitched and swayed toward the turbolift. “Compensator failure in one minute ten seconds, mark!” I looked to Jerry as I called out and caught the surprised look on Xantippe’s face as her hoop earrings swung and tugged parallel to the floor time and again. She clutched at one ear with the hoof that held the padd, nearly putting her eye out in the process!

“We’re on it!” Jerry said tersely as everyone and everything in the Ship gave a little skip astern, making us all sway and clutch at our stations. Xantippe stumbled and caught herself on the back of Caper’s chair as Jerry informed us, “Port and Starboard Compensators are lagging and falling out of sync with each other. I’m allocating more processing priority to them. Starry! I need more of your computers! About twenty percent more!”

Inspired, I reduced my Sensory needs! “All yours, Jerry!”

“Ok! Reallocating!” The two of them bent to work as we rode out more twitching and tugging.

“’Ere!” Merry called out. “Sickbay’s compliments an’ the Doc says the Morgue wants ta know what we all want on our Memorials!”

Caper had reached back to pat one of Xantippe’s hooves calmly. “Advise Good Doctor not to be such pessimist. Have faith in capable Engineering Staff!” Even as he spoke both the frequency and strengths of the tugs began to abate. In just a few seconds they were gone. The sound of the Engine, now that it had come up to speed, faded away and allowed the Red Alert klaxon full voice.

“See?” Caper said reasonably. Then, to Merry, “Damage Reports?”

“Nuthin’ on moy board… though the Doc sounds likes she needs a fresh set of knickers!” Merry smirked.

“Please to advise that she has permission to avail self of clothing replicators!” Caper said gravely before turning to Jerry. “How do we sit, Jerry-bubula?”

Jerry gave his readouts one final look before answering.

“Compensators nominal. We’ll have to fine tune the Starboard set to make up for the lack of processing power.” He sighed before looking my way apologetically. “What does that do to your sensors, Starry?”

I consulted my readouts and kept the dismay out of my voice.

“We have active Sensors out to three point seven light-years distant, passive Sensors out to eleven point six light-years. At this speed that gives us three and one-half days warning of anything in Normal Space. More than adequate for Navigation, I should think!” I said in an effort to find the silver lining somewhere.

“Piece of apple cake!” Evee declared brightly. “Steady at Warp Five point two-one-six, by the way. Wild ride while it lasted, wasn’t it?”

Xantippe had been cautiously tugging at her earrings, checking for damage no doubt.

“For most of you this must seem like bliss.” She declared ruefully. “But I wonder if I’ll ever get used to this!”

“But we survived, da?” Caper shrugged at her. “In words of great Rushin philosopher, Neightzche, ‘That which does not kill us only makes us stronger, nyet?”

I coughed delicately into one hoof. “He was from Germaney, as I recall.”

Caper waved a hoof breezily. “Is common misconception fostered by Twentieth-Century nogoodnik, Hitter, to bolster reputation of evil regime. Records no doubt have become distorted in ensuing centuries, da? Do you doubt Valiant Captain’s grasp of Glorious Rushin History, Starry-pushka?” Caper kicked his chair to swivel in a circle so that the entire Bridge could see the twinkle in his eyes and share in the humor that we all needed just then!

“History is always open to debate.” I said. “It’s the ‘Valiant Captain’ part that’s hard to swallow!”

Smirks, smiles, and quiet chuckles passed along the Bridge as Caper completed his circuit, coming to rest facing me with a pitying look on his face.

“Bah! True Genius is always unrecognized in own time!” He grinned as he said it, though. Then, “What is estimated time until arrival at Cestus-III, Lieutenant?”

Evee consulted her Helm. “Twenty-five point five-six days…” The Mare from Mares dimpled impishly and added, “Valiant Captain!”

Caper threw out a hoof to her in vindication!

“See? Is some hope for younger generation after all!” He declared.

A raspberry came from Communications closely followed by a stylus in a high, arcing trajectory that carried it safely past the Captain to bounce harmlessly off Evee’s back!

“Don’t egg ‘im on! Barely enough room up ‘ere already without swellin’ ‘is ‘ead any more’n ‘as it is!” Merry chortled!

“Get back to work and will disregard misfired assassination attempt, Cossack Communications Officer!” Caper waggled a finger over his shoulder at Merry, smirking since she couldn’t see it! He became all business again a moment later.

“Good work, Chief Engineer. Please to pass compliments to your staff.” He gave his chair another little kick so that he was able to regard the rest of the Bridge… except Merry! “Good job…to most of you! Level heads best way to handle situation, da?” He got up and retrieved Merry’s stylus and gave it an underhoof pitch back to her.

“There! Now Ass gets assassinated !” He said smugly.

Before Merry could launch into any more theatrics, Xantippe shook her head and made her way to the turbolift.

“That is my cue to head for the door.” She said with a wink. “The Doctor is not the only one in need of a replicator!”

Author's Note

A little comic relief from an otherwise grim situation! ...Though I may have been feeling a little pedantic in regards to the Warp Drive segment ;)

Chapter Thirty Two- Cestus III

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

CESTUS-III

We entered the Sigma Pegasus system from below the plane of the ecliptic at a thirty-degree angle decelerating from Time Warp Five to Warp One point two at the heliopause, (The point at which the Solar Wind from the local star is overwhelmed by that of its neighbors, a convenient waypoint used while navigating in-system.) with all sensors up and running. The Cestus Probe had down a quick survey of the system during its flyby but it was more concerned with avoiding collisions while it scanned for habitable worlds than it was with collecting abstract knowledge. In the ten hours it took us to make the transit into the inner system we charted a dwarf planet, a dozen comets, two asteroid belts, and seventeen assorted moons to add to the Probe’s tally of eleven worlds and twenty moons. Sigma Pegasus-IV was an L-class planet similar to Mares or Equestris… though a lot smaller than my Home Sod… and suitable for colonization using domes and careful terraforming techniques. (The terraforming of Mares turned it from a sere desert into a nearly waterlogged mudflat by over-zealously bombing the place with ice asteroids after the Eugenics Wars. The atmosphere thickened so quickly that the previously frozen groundwater thawed nearly all at once, threatening to inundate a few of the domes in the lower-lying areas! The Hellas Sea and the Great Mariner Valley Lake System are a source of both pride and embarrassment to those early terraformers.)

Our target was Sigma Pegasus Two, labeled Cestus-III by the Cestus Corporation that claimed it. We watched it swell into view as the Ship dropped back into normal space and slowed into Standard Orbit some eighteen thousand miles above it in synchronous orbit. It was quite an inviting place for all that it was named for a business concern!

Its mass was point nine that of Earth with a surface gravity of one point zero-seven gees. The atmosphere broke down as containing seventy-six percent nitrogen, twenty-two percent oxygen, and just enough inert gases to give the sky a faint greenish tinge to its otherwise Terran Blue. Underneath the ice-white clouds the seas covered fifty-five percent of the land clad in pale green vegetation under Sigma Pegasus’ whiter sun. In the thriving ecology below an impressive variety of life-forms swarmed in every environmental niche. The average planetary temperature was forty-seven degrees, the icecaps at the poles were minimal, volcanism was contained to just a few active areas along the equally few plate boundaries and at thirty-three degrees north latitude on the second-largest continent lay the remains of the Cestus Probe claim marker where it had fallen from orbit, not far from a riverbank on the fringes of a forest lapped at by a broad plain. …It wasn’t alone on the surface of Cestus-III!

Nearby sat a small vessel of a little more than one thousand tons displacement, a squat looking thing taller at the stern and tapering somewhat toward the blunt bow. From our high viewing angle we could see that the hull was colored medium-brown with a few yellow markings along the sides that didn’t correspond to anything in our linguistic databases. Our sensors showed that there was power available on the vessel. The neutrino emissions indicated either a fusion power source or possibly even an antimatter pile ticking over in standby mode. The lack of an extensive fuel reservoir, coupled with the possibility of antimatter being present, pointed to the fact that it was in fact a starship as opposed to a space vessel. It was hard to scan through the hull… it was well shielded… but there seemed to be something comparable to warp coils in a mid-line mount through the core of the vessel.

We'd managed in the meantime to restore short-range communications, though the Aura still defeated our long-range efforts.There had been no answers to our repeated hails and detailed scanning on our part indicated that there were three sets of indeterminate life readings onboard that neither moved nor reacted to us the whole time we were in orbit. There was also evidence of damage to what we assumed was the Engineering section of the ship. Blast marks and charring were visible though the hull remained intact.

In the end it was decided that I would head up a Landing Party to evaluate the situation. Given that the ship was damaged and the lifeforms onboard seemed unresponsive we probably would be performing a rescue operation. To that end I included Sunny into the party along with Stimbolt and Dazzle. It was going to be old Home week!

We met in Transporter Room One to draw our equipment. The replicator there issued us rusty-brown jackets to wear over our uniforms, we were going to be outside after all! Sunny brushed an imaginary bit of lint of hers and quite frankly preened, pleased with how it looked on her. My anatomy played me false again, the shoulders and sleeves were loose enough but I couldn’t get the damn thing to close over my mammalian assets! Oh, well, it would have to do.

Sunny carried a Medical tricorder as well as a Starfleet medical bag slung over her shoulders. I contented myself with a Sciences tricorder. Stimbolt carried a Sciences tricorder as well as more in-depth and specialized scanning and analysis gear, presumably for dealing with whatever we found on the Alien ship. He was by far and away the most encumbered of any of us and I made a note to relieve him of some of that before we transported…right after I finished with my own jacket!

He politely turned his back and chatted with the Transporter Tech, a Neighsian buck in a red jumpsuit named Robo-Tech, as far as I could make out from his Cutie-Patch, while Sunny fussed with the front of my jacket trying to tug it together enough to fasten. The best we could manage was to close the bottom part, making the whole thing into an impromptu bustier. I vetoed the whole project in disgust and let it hang open. The temperature on the surface was sixty-four degrees. I might be a little chilly but I wouldn’t freeze at least.

I was toying with the idea of re-replicating the thing when Dazzle came in from the Armory with our weaponry. She brought a phased-balefire pistol for each of us (Mine being larger to accommodate my bigger hoof!) and had a phased-balefire rifle slung over her shoulder for herself!

“Good bloody grief!” Sunny blinked at her. “Sure n’ I thought this was t’ be a rescue operation!”

“Glad to hear that!” Dazzle said cheerfully. “I still want one!”

Sunny refused to carry a weapon so Dazzle just stuck in onto the jacket she drew without batting an eye. She turned to me, affronted.

“Are we goin’ t’ attend a skirmish is it then? Why do we no just blast th’ place from orbit then strain th’ remains t’ find out what we need t’ know n’ have done wi’ it?” She grumped.

“Quiet, Sunny!” I made one last, futile attempt at the jacket and gave up! “An ounce of caution is worth a pound of regret and all that. We’re dealing with an unknown race here and there’s no telling how they’ll react to our arrival. Besides, we may end up having to burn our way into that ship if Stimbolt can’t bypass their locks!” I drew myself up and gathered the Landing Party together with my eyes.

“This is the situation! The Cestus Survey Marker came out of orbit and has impacted at the site below. We don’t know if it malfunctioned or was knocked down. There is an alien vessel parked near it on the surface that, for whatever reason, is refusing or not receiving our hails. If they have sensors they must have detected our arrival. They haven’t seen fit to tell us one way or the other. There are low-level life readings coming from the vessel that may indicate injured or incapacitated crew. That’s where you come in, Sunny. Maybe they examined the Survey Marker and came down with the Pony Pox or something. If they’re sick or hurt you can fix them up and we’ll get some answers as to what happened. Failing that we can at least pull their flight recorder or logs for examination up here. That’s where you come in, Stimbolt.” The Young Buck nodded, thumbs hooked through the straps of his equipment.

“Dazzle is going along to provide support if things get out of hoof or we run into hostile native fauna. Our sensors don’t show anything larger than a raccoon within a mile and a half radius at the landing site but that’s no reason to let our guard down. My tricorder…” I tapped the device hanging down from my neck. “Is loaded with a translation matrix in case the Aliens are in a mood to talk and are reasonable, rational beings. Ponicidal maniacs don’t build starships as a rule, Klingons excepted!” I gave forth a tight smile before continuing. “Our weapons are to be set on standard stun setting. Do not fire unless attacked or I give the word. Is that understood?”

Dazzle unshipped her rifle and adjusted the intensity of her weapon. Stimbolt and I twisted the force setting rings on our squat, cylindrical pistols to the proper setting and we all engaged the safeties as Sunny sniffed at all the Military Protocol.

“Are we done a-playin’ soldier yet?” She scoffed. “As ye pointed out there may be folk in need o’ me help!”

Dazzle slung her rifle in front of her at ready. “Who’s playing, Doc?” She changed the setting on the pistol Sunny refused to carry pointedly and stuck it inside her jacket with a grim grin. “They made it this long, they’ll keep for another few minutes!”

“Let’s hope they’ll be grateful at least!” Stimbolt put in. “I’m eager to compare notes with their Engineers. No telling what they know compared to us!”

Sunny gave Dazzle a sour look. “Aye, well, I’m stayin’ close t’ you then while th’ Miltary types do all their struttin’ n’ posin’!” She hitched her tricorder up higher on her shoulder and made it a point to stand next to the hapless Engineer. “Dinna want t’ be seen as bein’ part o’ th’ ‘hostile’ crowd, ye ken!” She took the opportunity to stick her tongue out at me.

I gave her a pained look and took a pair of dark sunglasses out of my pocket and put them on against the brighter light of Pegasus Epsilon. “Check you communicators and leave them on ‘standby’ so the ship can beam us you back in case of an emergency.”

Everypony removed the palm-sized, clear plastic devices with their embedded circuitry and verified their status.

“OK, if we’re all ready…?” I indicated the transport pads with a hoof.

“As ready as I’ll ever be t’ be gettin’ meself squirted through a sub-a-bloody-tomic keyhole by yon devilish contraption, grand bit o’ Engineerin’ that it is!” Sunny rolled her eye skeptically at the transported, ignoring the hurt looks on both the faces of Stimbolt and Robo-Tech.

“Get on the platform, already!” I aimed a kick at her bottom that made her skip ahead of the rest of us. “Sheesh! What side of the bed did you get up on this morning?”

“Th’ only side left wi’ ye in there!” She retorted as Dazzle and Stimbolt chuckled and smirked respectively. “Th’ prospect o’ bein’ sprayed all over th’ bloody Universe by this thing’s enough t’ put anypony in a mood!”

“Your objections are duly noted.” I said as I took my position and adjusted my glasses. “Next time we’ll kick you out the Hanger and you can practice sub-orbital sky diving!”

Sunny looked me up and down with a glare! “Humph! Right proper Termanatrix ye make! ‘Hasta-la-bloody-vista’, forsooth!” Just another one of her cryptic old-movie references that made me shake my head while the others looked at her quizzically.

“Remind me to lecture you on quantum entanglement when we get back!”

“I’ll put it right on top o’ me bloody to-do list!” Sunny muttered as she carefully centered herself on her pad as Dazzle snickered.

“Hay, Robo!” She called out. “I’ll give you five credits if you leave her behind!”

“Maybe you should take a pill, Doctor.” Stimbolt said gently.

I was not inclined to be so gentle. “Make it a suppository! Chief….”

“I’ll gi’ ye a suppository, ye great…!” Sunny began to snap, her wings spreading dangerously close to Stimbolt and myself.

“Energize!” I cut her off with a mirror-black glare!

There are some Ponies who shut their eyes during transport. Sunny certainly did, screwing hers shut almost frantically as the whistling, warbling hum of the transporter built up. Realistically, though, it makes no difference. As we froze into immobility…it’s impossible to move during the process…the transporter room dissolved away into dancing, golden motes to gradually be replaced by the dappled shade at the edge of the trees we materialized under. A cool breeze teased my mane and the breath I’d begun to take on the Ship continued where it left off, mixing cool, herb-scented air with the filtered and reprocessed atmosphere of the Hermes. I turned and adjusted the glasses I wore, turning away from the sun peeking under the canopy of leaves.

“…Lump!” Sunny finished, popping her eyes open to gawk at the scenery. She patted her chest and re-settled her wings in a huff. “Bloody thing! One o’ these times I swear I’ll come out the other end a bloody buck!” She took a sniff of the air and shaded her eyes to look at the sunlit meadow before us and remarked. “Nice enough place, innit? Almost worth th’ trip!”

As I fished out my communicator Dazzle and Stimbolt got their tricorders going. I turned to verify their status before reporting. Dazzle had her rifle on one hip, her tricorder held close to it. No doubt so that she could bring the thing to bear on whatever the tricorder picked up. Her eyes constantly flicked between it and the copse of trees that lay between us and the Alien vessel as she scanned it. (Little Rock, though a firm believer in the advantages of technology, is a great proponent of the virtues of the Mark One eyeball and passes that concept along to his Ponies!)

Stimbolt stood erect and held his before him, turning to do a circular sweep of the area, his eyes never leaving the display.

I flipped the communicator open. “Landing Party to Transporter Room. Transport confirmed. Patch me through to the Bridge, please.”

“Acknowledged, Commander. One moment.” Robo-Tech’s voice came back at once. There was a pause while my call got routed, then Caper came online.

“Da, Commander.”

“We’re down and performing initial scans of the area. Any sign that we’ve been noticed?”

There was a pause wherein I could imagine Caper looking over at Melody who ponied my station then, “Nyet. Everything is same. Can you see Survey Marker from where you are at?”

My eyes flicked to the meadow. I squinted against the glare. “Negative. The trees are blocking our view of the impact site. We’ll have to circle around them to bring it into view. We’ll be moving out in just a minute or two.”

“Hokay.” Caper grunted. “Be careful, Commander. Is nice, peaceful First Contact Mission, da? Introduce selves, shake hooves, kiss babies, offer assistance. Federation wants to be everypony’s buddy-buddy, after all! Do not make Valiant Captain to have to do lots of bothersome datawork!” …I could just imagine him waggling a finger. “ Am having plenty fun enough already, da?”

I rolled my eyes at the communicator. “We’ll be the very souls of decorum! Landing Party, out.” I flipped the antenna/cover down, ending the call, and looked over to Dazzle.

“What have you got, Chief?” I opened my tricorder and set it to record.

“I’m showing lots of lifeforms in the trees.” She waved the muzzle of the rifle at the stand of trees between us and the ship. “Hoof sized and smaller. High metabolic rate. It’s my guess that they’re birds or bats, maybe.” She shrugged. “I’m showing lifeforms on the ground and the tree trunks. Nothing bigger than a gopher. Thousands of what appear to be insects, including a huge concentration low down in the trees at the far end. I’m thinking it’s a hive of some sort.” She pointed with the rifle again. “Pretty much the same thing for a quarter-mile around us. Wildlife and nothing else, Commander.”

I nodded. “How about you, Stimbolt?”

“I’m reading generated power onboard the ship, Commander, but no heavy power usage. Drives appear to be on standby, no indications of energy stored in weapons systems and no active scanning, either.” He paused for a moment, working his nose. “I’m showing a few parts per billion of…of…” He raised a finger in apology and turned his head to sneeze twice. Pshoo! Pshoo!
“…Sorry about that, Commander!” He sniffed quickly before continuing. “ There’s something in that smell that’s been tickling my nose since we got here. As I was saying, there’s a few parts per billion of plasma residue in the area. Just what you’d expect from an antimatter core running at low power le….achoo!” He jerked his head away to cover his mouth this time, sneezing two more times.

Sunny was on him in an instant, breaking out her tricorder and waving the pickup over the young buck. “Just sit still a wee bit n’ let me have a bit o’ a look at ye, Laddie.” She scrutinized her readout for a few moments then, “There’s a wee inflammation in yer sinuses to be sure. D’ye have any trouble a-swallowin’? Vision all right? Open up n’ give us a peek then!”

Stimbolt shook his head, nodded, and opened his mouth obediently while Sunny fished a depressor out of her kit and peered down his throat. She turned the Engineer’s head so the sun shone into his mouth while I took a cautious sniff of the air. There was a scent to it, faint though it was. It was reminiscent of the evergreen smell that surrounded Alicorne Keep back on Earth, but more earthy and faintly floral.

“Dazzle, you ok?”

“I’m fine, Starry. Just smells like the Wide Open Spaces to me!” She gazed around speculatively as Sunny felt the glands in Stimbolt’s neck.

“Sure n’ it seems t’ be just a wee touch of allergies!” Sunny declared as she rummaged in her bag. “Are ye prone to them back Home, Stimbolt-me-lad?”

Freed from her grip, the buck let loose with a truly impressive nasal explosion before answering! “Excuse me! I was born under Capernicus Dome on the Moon.” He paused to sniff, embarrassed. “But I do get it bad when I visit my Grandparents in Mane. Especially in the Fall. They said it was Nagweed or something like that.” Sunny passed him a bandage and he blew his nose.

“Right! I’ll hae ye kitted up in just a few ticks, never ye fret now!” She fitted an ampoule onto a hypospray and dialed a dosage. “Ye just need a few cc’s o’ a broad-base antihistamine t’ set ye aright again. Let me give ye a ‘pill’! I promise it’ll no hurt… too much!” She took Stimbolt’s hoof and, rather than pressuring the shot through his jacket, applied the hypo to the inside of his wrist where the blood vessels lay close to the skin with a whsst!

The young buck yelped and sneezed at the same time! “Ow-choo!”

“Oh dinna be such a colt!” My Love chided, uncorking her instruments and replacing them in her bag. “Ye werena so timid when ye did yer Mountain Lion impression on yon Klingons!”

“The Klingons were a lot less terrifying, I guess!” Dazzle chortled!

Sunny eyed her darkly, toying with her hypo. “Seems t’ be an element o’ roupiness in yer laugh, Lassie…”

“Not me, Doc! My voice was never better!” She struck a pose and broke out into song, tipping Sunny a wink! “I’ll take you home again, Canterleene! Across the waters wide and foaming….!”

Sunny went fishing around in her bag. “Right! Daft as a Denebian Dodo! I prescribe a Medically Induced Coma, got just th’ thing right here…”

“All right, all right! Focus, Ponies!” I shook my head. “This is a Landing Party, not a Birthday Party! Dazzle, if you don’t straighten up I’ll authorize that coma! Sunny, are you feeling anything?” She dimpled and simply pointed up to her horn which was probably glowing, though I couldn’t make it out through the glasses. “Right! Stimbolt, how are you doing?”

The Engineer blew his nose noisily and thoroughly into the bandage one last time and straightened back up. He sniffed experimentally. “Much better now! Thanks, Doc!” He offered the bandage back to Sunny who screwed her face up and made a shooing motion at him. He stuck it in his back pocket.

“Ok!” I said. I pointed to the near end of the copse. “The Marker is out there, forty yards in front of the Alien ship. We’re going this way…” I pointed toward the far end of the stand of trees. “Precisely because of that. The ship will be our first objective and we’ll approach it from behind. I’m not going to chance approaching a potential hostile from the direction of its Main Guns!” I consulted my tricorder. “It’ll only be a couple hundred yards. Dazzle, keep your eyes and scanners peeled for anything coming our way. Sunny can try to get some scans of the lifeforms onboard the ship. Stimbolt, give me some of your overburden, you’re loaded down like the White Knight! See what information you can gather about the ship in the meantime.” I relieved him of some of his instrumentation. “I’ll collect some recordings of the local environment as we go. I’ll take the point, Dazzle can bring up the rear just off to the side. Sunny and Stimbolt behind me at ten feet. Formation ‘L’, Ponies, just like in Basic! Let’s move out!”

Sunny stood absurdly straight up at attention, her left arm shooting out at a right angle, her open palm snapping into position smartly alongside her head with her thumb pointing at her collarbone.

“Sah! Yes, Sah! By th’ right hoof…march! Hup, toop, threep, four!” She turned in place with a neat hop (Jiggling quite nicely, I might add!) and proceeded to high-step, the perfect parody of a parade-ground cadet!

Caper would have put her in her place with a growl and a thickly-accented comment. Me, I gave her a boot to her rump as she tromped by that made her squawk and deploy her wings to keep her balance! Dazzle laughed and poor Stimbolt looked alarmed.

“That’s it, Sunny! Fly right or I will personally smear choice bits of you with honey and stake you out next to that hive! In the words of an unremembered Sergeant before the walls of Trot, I will restate my previous comment…’This ain’t a Party, see?’! Now get in your spot or I will have you beamed back up to the Ship with no safety protocols in place after the rest of us get our jobs done. Am I Making Myself Clear, Medical Officer?”

Shock, sudden anger, and embarrassment flitted across her face within a second. Her blazing eyes held mine for just an instant before dropping down to the alien grass tickling her knees. She remained silent.

I had it in mind to say something gentle to her just then… but I didn’t want to look like I was playing favorites, not even for Sunny...not in my Command! The Mare in my head shook hers, reminding me that I was going to pay for this behind closed doors later before strolling off to check her Damage Control Boards. I told her to have faith in Sunny.

Dazzle broke the uncomfortable silence by laughing again.

“Doc, meet Corporal Punishment! You don’t want to meet Major Catastrophe or General Disaster, trust me!”

“Um…” Stimbolt put in hesitantly. “I’m sure the Doctor wasn’t meaning any disrespect, Ma’am. Medical Department just operates differently…”

“I’m not asking for excuses… from anypony.” I said with just enough emphasis to shut him up. I relented just a little. “Look, I’m not putting anything down on anypony’s Permanent Record for Pony’s sake! But I don’t want anypony in my command getting hurt or worse because they aren’t taking the Mission seriously.” I gave Sunny a meaningful look over the top of my dark glasses.

“Sunny. I brought you with us because you are a highly-trained and competent Officer no matter what Department you serve in. Am I right or wrong?”

“Aye, yer right… momentary lapses into bein’ a wee bit of an Ass, aside.” She said meekly, rolled her eyes away in embarrassment. Her gaze snapped back to mine with a cautiously playful twinkle.“Sorry about that, Chief!”

“Don’t worry about it, ‘Eighty-Six’! Just Get Smart and stay smart!” My mouth twitched in the barest flicker of a grin, not caring that neither Stimbolt or Dazzle would catch the reference to Sunny’s hoary collection of ancient entertainment vids. My heart swelled as I caught the laughter in her eyes. I sent an I-told-you-so to the Mare in my Head who only rolled her eyes. I rolled my own to Stimbolt.

“…And if you keep calling me ‘Ma’am’ I’ll introduce you to Corporal Punishment! I think we’ve served together long enough to be on a first-name basis on a Landing Party, ok?”

“Ok, um… Starry!” The Middie struggled with the term and broke out in a nervous grin.

“Careful, Starry! You’re going to tarnish all his brand-new training!” Dazzle put in, scanning the area with her tricorder again with her gun at the ready.

“Like the Captain….” I began.

“The ‘Valiant Captain!” Dazzle corrected.

“Ahem! Like our ‘Valiant Captain’, in Deep Space I prefer to regard the Regs as guidelines rather than hard-and-fast rules. There’s no reason we can’t be polite and reasonable as long as we get our jobs done efficiently. I like to think that we’re all mature enough that we don’t have to insist on imposing an artificial hierarchy over every aspect of our behavior!”

“Och! ‘Polite, reasonable’, n’ ‘mature’, is it?” Sunny rubbed her rump. “Permission t’ say ‘ouch’…Ma’am?”

“Oh, get a move on or I’ll show you a real ‘ouch’, you weenie!” I moved out in front of her, not quite stepping on her hooves.

“Don’t ye repress me! Come see th’ violence inherent in th’ system!” Sunny slid into another of her obscure quotations. …I suppose she was old enough that she just didn’t care what anypony thought about her!

Stimbolt moved into position near her. “I’ve just got one question. ‘Eighty-six’ what?” He asked plaintively. “Inches?”

“…Around the hips, maybe!” Dazzle put in from the side, happy to lob in comments at a distance.

“Yuk it up, do!” Sunny said loftily. “Next time ye lose a body part I’ll put it on yer…”

“Move out, Ponies! Formation ‘ L’!” I called out using just enough volume to let them know Corporal Punishment was still listening!

We never saw the hive itself, though we all could hear it well enough. A deep, busy buzz came from somewhere in the trees off to our left. A constant stream of shiny copper and metallic blue insects the size of the end of Sunny’s thumb wended their way in a wavering line from the meadow into the shaded darkness beneath the leaves. I passed closest to it, thirty-five yards distant according to my tricorder. One of the little whosits swerved off his course to orbit me a few times. Maybe he thought my bright blue uniform was a flower. Sunny told me stories about bumblebees on Earth and how touchy they could be at times so I didn’t make any sudden moves, contenting myself with waving my arm slowly to discourage the little pest from coming in for a closer look. It was a clumsy flier, Tyllae could flit loops around it, adjusting its course in swinging arcs with about a two-foot turn radius to make pass after pass at me. I was beginning to get nervous that the little monster would get past my guard and under my open jacket or, even worse, down my open collar. I have an admittedly thick hide but it wasn’t that thick in there!

Fortunately he lost interest after a bit and made his way back to the hive. Oddly enough… or not, considering the spectra of Pegasus Sigma… Dazzle and Stimbolt’s uniforms didn’t seem to hold any fascination for them. One landed on Sunny and she let it walk along her hand, being careful to clamp that sleeve shut against any unwanted excursions. It flew away on its own after a minute and we rounded the copse without further incident and came in sight of the Alien ship.

Boxy and squat and only superficially aerodynamic it reminded me of one of our own shuttlecraft writ large, with the exception of the lack of the two engine nacelles. The only viewports I could see were part of a wraparound set forward on what we assumed was their Bridge. They were polarized dark and gave us no information of what lay within. The hull was bronze-brown with faint signs of reentry scorching predominantly on the forward and bottom parts. More prominent scorch marks, these being radial in nature and about a yard across were apparent on the port aft quarter about halfway up the hull. The metal in the center of each of the twin marks was visibly slagged. We stopped twenty-three yards away while Stimbolt scanned.

“There’s a Warp Core in there.” He announced firmly and pointed to a hemispherical protrusion a quarter of the way up from the keel on the stern of the ship. “See that? That’s part of their Space Restoration Matrix. It’s a starship all right. A small one, but still a starship. Wonder where it’s out of? Can’t have but a dozen or so light-years range, unless they have phenomenal engine efficiency.”

“Can you make out the status of their engine?” I swung my tricorder to bear on the ship while Dazzle looked alert and brought her own weapon up. “I’m not showing radiation or coolant leaks aside from that trace amount of drive plasma we picked up on earlier.”

Stimbolt adjusted his tricorder. “It’s hard to get accurate readings through their hull.” He concentrated on his readouts for a bit. “I’m showing burnouts and overloads in the vicinity of the engine. Serious but not irreparable damage. They made it down ok so they should be able to get it fixed up in no time. It’s nothing they’d need to put into a spacedock for.”

“So why aren’t they out fixing it?” Dazzle wondered. “Where’s the crew?”

I gave Sunny a significant look, but she already had her Medical Tricorder out and had it sweeping the ship.

“Aye, well yon Laddie was no exaggeratin’ that ‘tis hard to scan through their hull!” She tilted her head sideways to Stimbolt. “But I’m a-gettin’ no fewer than six life-readin’s from th’ inside. Bless me if I can make out just what they are, though! I’m showin’ body temperatures o’ ninety-nine degrees wi’ only two or three heartbeats a minute! If they’re mammals r’ summat similar I’d say they were in cryonic suspension but for those high temperatures! If it were some sort o’ Arcane Medical Stasis we’d read naught at all, outside o’ th’ Aura o’ th’ spell of course. Whatever th’ case, th’ readins’ r’ steady wi’ no fluctuation. I dinna ken wha’ they are but that’s why we call them ‘alien’, innit?” She shrugged and continued. “Internal atmosphere’s similar t’ outside wi’ a twenty-one percent oxygen content. Internal air temperature ‘tis eighty-six degrees wi’ eleven percent humidity. Internal gravity is point nine-six gees. There! Now ye ken all I do. Now what?”

Dazzle frowned. “If the ship wasn’t that damaged and the internal environment wasn’t contaminated, why put the crew in stasis at all? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Where are they located, Sunny?” I nodded toward the ship.

“Up yon, behind th’ viewports.” She pointed with her horn as she fiddled with her tricorder.

“Arcane Stasis…” I mused. “Dazzle. Are you close enough to do a Magic sweep of the ship, or at least the Bridge area? Maybe we’ve found ourselves another Magic-using species!”

Dazzle nodded thoughtfully. “Well it’s worth a try! I should be able to pick up on the spell matrix of their drive at least.” She lowered her weapon to port arms as her horn lit up. She regarded the ship intently, seeing with her mind’s eye perhaps.

Stimbolt coughed quietly as she worked.

“Uh, Starry…?”

“What do you have, Stimbolt?”

He indicated the damage to the ship. “Those are balefire hits as far as I can make out… though I can’t figure how they put it out in the meantime. They were shot up by a Federation vessel!”

Chapter Thirty Three- Regards from Chaos

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

REGARDS FROM CHAOS

I snapped my head around to look at Stimbolt so fast that my mane swung!

“A Federation Ship?” I considered the damage to the Alien. “Now who could be out here besides us?”

“P’raps ‘tis another Civilian outfit like yon Cestus Corporation?” Sunny offered.

Stimbolt wandered closer toward the hull, still scanning. “Might be… could be a rival business concern. A planet like this would be worth, well, an astronomical amount of credits! Enough to indulge in a little hardball out where they think nopony is looking. Ponies have been killed for a whole lot less!”

Maybe the wildlife had recovered a bit since the shock of our arrival, or maybe I just hadn’t noticed before. As we came up to the ship I was suddenly conscious of the assorted quiet tweets and muted whoops coming from the trees around us. Something tiny, looking like a cross between a miniature deer and a rabbit with a dappled brown and white hide vacated the copse we’d circled. It took a few cautious steps among the tall grass and paused to look our way, it’s willow leaf-shaped ears cocked in our direction as it regarded us for a long second. It flicked its ears and startled as something from the hive flew too close. An instant later it bounded away on a zigzag course among the tufts, lost to sight almost at once. I could just make out the sound of water chuckling over rocks in the stream on the far side of the Alien ship.

As I came up to it I laid a hoof on the hull. It was cold, not freezing, just cold. Not surprising, there were probably thermal superconducting elements in the hull to help keep hot spots from developing during re-entry or combat. The Hermes had just such a system incorporated into its being. I looked around an noticed a patch of withered grass here and there next to the hull. For all its weight the ship still lay on the ground rather than being sunk into it. Their inertial dampeners were still online and they seem to have landed on maneuvering thrusters. Landed, not crashed.

I slapped the hull and looked up along its looming expanse. “That doesn’t explain these guys!” I said. “This ship doesn’t come from the Federation. And this planet is uninhabited! The nearest inhabited world is still pre-spaceflight. If somepony was trying to jump the Cestus Corporation claim why shoot these guys up?” I was struck by a sudden thought that made the Mare in my head frown. “Unless…”

“These are the claim jumpers!” Stimbolt finished for me.

“Or th’ jumpees!” Sunny chimed in. “Could be th’ Survey ship scrapped wi’ yon while in orbit. Like th’ laddie says there’s enough credits at stake t’ risk bendin’ th’ rules a wee. Oh, dinna look like a scandalized virgin, Starry-me-Dear! Th’ Federation holds itself t’ higher standards than businessponies t’ be sure! Open yer Starry Eyes just a mickle bit wider, dear.” She smiled at me fondly. I hate being condescended to!

“Some business concern is willing to risk an interstellar incident for the sake of a few billion credits?” I spat before calming down just a little. “Besides, the Survey ship was unarmed.”

“Officially, maybe.” Stimbolt didn’t quite flinch as I glared at him. “A weapons system wouldn’t take up that much room, what’s mass when you’re using a warp field? Freighters carry low-yield balefire weapons, why not the Survey Ship? It would explain why the balefire went out…” He nodded thoughtfully. “They wouldn’t have Military-Grade spell matrices. The balefire would be unstable.” He explained.

“The Survey Ship was automated.” I protested. “I can’t believe that anypony, no matter how much greed is involved, would put an Artificial Intelligence in charge of any sort of balefire weapon! Look what happened with the Bolo Project during the Eugenics Wars! That’s a level of reckless corruption I refuse to accept even from Corporate Executives!”

“I hope yer right!” Sunny said as she contemplated a pale brown and green butterfly that paused to sun itself on the back of her hoof. “But I’ve been around a wee bit…” She rolled her eyes away. Stimbolt looked at her doubtfully…but I knew her better! “N’ I’ve come to know firsthoof wha’ some ponies r’ capable of when it comes t’ th’ temptation o’ riches!”

“’Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of Ponies?’, eh?”

We all looked up as Dazzle rejoined us, rubbing her forehead just below her horn.

“What did you find out, Dazzle?” I asked.

“That was a good call, Starry. Wish I’d thought of it! Somepony out to propose a Magic Sweep whenever we come up on an Unknown. Make it part of the Regs!” She rested her rifle on her hip and watched Sunny’s butterfly flutter away before continuing.

“I scanned the Ship… twice… and I’ve got six Magical Resonances from what I’m calling the Bridge. Nothing from the equipment. I’d bet my next Shore Leave there’s no Arcane enhancement to their systems, the only hits I got were from living bodies. Not unlike what we picked up on the Cimarron!” She looked at me significantly. “With the Little Fidget!”

My ears drooped despite myself and Stimbolt whistled softly.

“You mean we could be looking at a ship full of Faeries?” He asked, chuckling. Sunny… unsuccessfully… hid a smirk.

“Luna lob me into a crater, I hope not!” Dazzle looked sour. “One’s enough!”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here!” I cautioned. I paused and regarded the impassive hulk in front of us. “What can you tell us about the crew, Dazzle? Were you able to get any impressions of them?”

“They’re big, Starry! About your size but not as, uh, well padded!” She rolled her eyes away for a moment while Sunny tittered. She snapped her eyes back in an instant while I glared at her. “Thick, heavy and lean. Bipeds with Plantigrade feet instead of Digitigrade like ours.” She lifted a booted hoof to illustrate. “ I’m not good at farsensing, but it’s my guess that they’re put together along Reptilian lines. At least, that’s the impression I got. Like nothing I’ve even heard about before, that’s for sure!” She spread her hooves at me. “That’s my report.”

I mentally ran down a checklist of known sentient species in the Federation… and came up blank.

“Sunny? Is there anything in the Medical Database about Reptilian sapients?”

“Bide a wee!” Sunny opened the cylindrical storage compartment at the back of her tricorder and fished out a data disk. She checked the label and inserted it, then paused to fiddle the controls below the readout on her small screen. After a bit she shut it down.

“Nary a thing! Th’ indigenous tribes on Deneb Three r’ protomammalian wi’ reptilian traits. That’s as close an I can find, Commander Darlin’.” She smiled, mainly with her improbable lavender eyes. “Sure n’ there’s nothin’ left t’ do but t’ have a look inside, innit?”

“Well we’re not going to find out anything else from out here!” I conceded. “Stimbolt, is there any way inside or do we try to beam in?”

I kept the smirk to myself as Sunny sighed. ‘Commander Darlin’, indeed! Stimbolt consulted his tricorder.

“I’m showing an airlock on the other side of the ship. Circuitry seems to be active. We should be able to get in without too much trouble.”

“Good enough for me!” I nodded and fished my communicator out as the others hitched their equipment onto their shoulders. I flipped open the lid.

“Landing Party to Hermes.”

Caper himself came back a second or so later. “Hermes here, Commander. How goes it?”

“We’re showing six Reptilian lifeforms inside, on what appears to be their Bridge. As far as we can make out they’re in some of some sort of Arcane stasis. The ship is damaged but not crippled. They seem to have soft-landed without incident. Caper, the ship was hit by balefire weaponry.”

“ Is so?” Caper grunted. “Somepony has lot to explain for, da? No notice has been taken of Landing Party, then?”

“None whatsoever. I take it they still aren’t responding to our hails?”

“Nyet. Quiet as tomb. Can you ascertain crew status?”

“Not from out here. We’ve found a way to get inside and we’re about to try and board the ship. Advise Sickbay we may have new arrivals.”

“Da. Will also have Security on standby, just in case.”

“You’re a cynical old Pegasus, Caper.” I smiled up at where the Hermes orbited.

“Is old Rushin proverb that tells us, ‘Better safe than sorry!’ How else did Valiant Captain get to be so old, eh? Carry on and be careful, Starry-pushka!” I could hear him shift around in his seat before he added. “Oh, did not mention before! Have been watching Landing Party from orbit. Sky is very clear over your location! Is good to know Good Doctor can be reasoned with, da? Commander’s motivational technique is inspiration to all crew!” We all could hear the chuckle in his voice. “Hermes out!”

Sunny blanched, blushed, then turned her face to the sky and stuck out her orange tongue!

I suppressed a smirk, Dazzle and Stimbolt didn’t. “Acknowledged. Landing Party out!” I put the communicator away.

“Quit mugging for the camera, Sunny! Time to get some answers! Stimbolt you’re with me at the airlock. Dazzle, you and Ms. Mime here take up a position where you can cover the airlock about ten yards distant. Let’s go!”

I needed Augment hearing to pick up on Sunny’s muttering as I pulled out ahead with Stimbolt in tow.

“ ‘Ms. Mime’, is it? Well here’s a mime fer ye!” I could just imagine the ancient and venerable gesture she made. “Not loud enough? Lemme turn it up fer ye!” The same gesture, no doubt made higher in the air. I let her rant, though I was curious about the rapid hoofsteps I heard immediately afterward. I almost turned around to see what was happening when I heard Sunny ask Dazzle.

“Where’re ye goin’?”

“About one balefire blast away, Doc. You take too many chances! That ain’t Pinky Pie watching us up there!” I turned just far enough to catch Sunny dart a glance at the sky. She gave a meek wave and hurried to catch up with the snickering Dazzle!

The airlock was on the shady side of the ship, a good ten degrees cooler than out of the direct sunlight. Times like this make me wish I wore a bra in light gravity! I tugged my jacket closer with predictable results as we studied the nine foot tall, four-foot wide, trapezoidal panel nearly three feet above ground level. To the right as we faced it was what appeared to be a control mechanism set about head-high on Stimbolt. He trained his tricorder on it and scanned. I looked over my shoulder to where Sunny peered out from behind Dazzle who covered us with her rifle precisely ten yards back and off to our side. Dazzle nodded and knelt, Sunny hurrying to copy her position!

“This is it, Starry.” He announced. “Direct live circuitry to the door mechanism. Do you want the honors?”

I nodded and reached out to tap the rectangular plate as big as my hoof. …Nothing happened. I tapped it harder with no result.

“Well, so much for that!” I said. “They must have locked it. We’ll have to bypass it somehow. Think you can open it up enough to get us in, or would we be farther ahead just to burn our way in?”

Stimbolt consulted his readings one last time then put his tricorder away.

“It’d be a shame to have to compromise a perfectly good spaceframe…” Experimentally, he reached up to touch the plate. Instead of tapping it, though, he pressed in and tried to slide it to the right. When that didn’t work he slid it to the left… and the whole thing moved aside to reveal a slightly smaller touch-pad!

“Protective cover!” Stimbolt pointed out smugly. “Don’t want your airlock controls to burn off during re-entry!”

“Ok, wiseapple! You found it so you open it up!” I gave the Middie a Grand Gesture of permission.

He tapped the touch-pad and it glowed amber-yellow. I stepped out of the way as the big trapezoid lowered itself outward from the top onto the ground, forming a ramp. As it did so, two other panels nested beneath one another slid away in opposite directions to reveal the chamber of the airlock itself with a soft hum of choreographed mechanics.

“I thought that was a mighty big first step.” Stimbolt commented as the ramp laid down. “That’s an elegant design. You know, you can tell a lot about a species just by the way they build the most practical things!”

“Well, I prefer not to judge a species by its airlocks!” I peered around the doorway and took in the large chamber beyond. It was rectangular and roomy. Maybe twenty feet long and twelve wide with an eight foot ceiling. The deck was black and the walls were medium-brown up to four feet, painted beige from that point up to the off-white ceiling. The short walls bore lockers with pale orange covers, vented against vacuum. Most of them looked large enough to contain environmental suits. I counted six big lockers, suits for the entire crew if I was right, and four smaller ones. Tools perhaps. A cluster of three hexagonal panels on the ceiling threw down a bright light shifted down to the yellow section of the spectrum compared to the outside. The far wall held another trapezoidal door and an (Uncovered!) touch-pad.

“The airlock’s clear!” I called over my shoulder to Dazzle and stepped up the ramp to get inside, Stimbolt following closely. I noticed that it was pleasantly warmer inside, something in the order of the mid-eighties, and the air was drier and carried an almost flinty flavor almost like the aftermath of blasting back Home.

It took a couple minutes of fiddling with the inside controls to get the outside doors to stay down and locked. I stationed Sunny and Dazzle just outside before I triggered the far door. Beyond it six steps, with risers a foot tall, led up into a long hallway running fore and aft. Open bulkheads on either side of the landing gave us a clear view along the entire length. Doors capped either end with half a dozen more scattered along either side. We heard the gentle blowing of the life support but nothing else. I took off my glasses and tucked them away as Stimbolt consulted his tricorder.

“There’s one deck beneath us smaller than this one. Engines are down there.” He nodded forward. “The Bridge is at the end of this hall.”

I called Dazzle forward again to take up position in the hallway. I told Sunny to stand by as I clapped Stimbolt on the shoulder.

“Let’s see what there is to see!” I drew my sidearm and double-checked the setting. Stimbolt did the same, looking almost absurdly grim.

“Stimbolt?”

“Commander, uh, Commander Starry?”

I smiled to reassure the young buck. “I’m guessing you’ve never seen combat before.” Before he would have to admit anything I cut him off. “I’m not saying that we’re expecting a fight. It’s just that this whole situation stinks on a cryo-slab! If it’s a trap it’s the most over-elaborate and unnecessarily complicated one in the history of traps. They could have had us cold any point after beam-down. No, I think we’re dealing with some sort of freak malfunction here. Maybe these guys go into hibernation every so often. Maybe they picked up an alien parasite that put ‘em into a coma or something.” I suppressed the gory memories of one of Sunny’s ancient movies. “Point is, we’re gonna do this nice and easy and by the numbers. I’ll go in first to check things out then I’ll call you in and we get Sunny to figure out what’s happening with the crew while you dope out their computers and maybe download their logs. Easy-peasy! But…” I fixed the Middie with my eyes. “If anything does go sour I want you to gather the others up and get back outside so fast your hooves won’t have time to touch the ground before beam-up! No heroics, no making the pickup, just get yourselves out of here and get back to the Ship. Got that, Mister?”

Before Stimbolt finished his nod Dazzle spoke up.

“Don’t let her fool ya, kid! She’s just looking for an excuse to lounge around this flying greenhouse a while, is all! If these clowns try anything, well, I’ll make it a whole lot hotter for them!”

“Let’s be a-gettin’ on wi’ it, already!” Sunny said peevishly. “Or are ye no done wi’ melodrama yet?”

“Shut up and stand by, Sunny.” I rolled an eye at her, then counted down from three on the fingers of my free hoof. At ‘zero’ I nodded to Stimbolt who triggered the door. I stepped onto the Bridge.

It was… dark! The only light in the room came from the displays and the wraparound windows forward. This Bridge was long and narrow compared to the Hermes. The Pilot and his console sat up by the windows. Behind him was a pentagonal station where most of the rest of the crew were stationed. Behind that was a single station with multiple displays. The Captain, perhaps.

Dazzle wasn’t kidding, they were big! Nearly Equestrin-style tall but more massively built, especially around the neck and shoulders. They had large heads, egg-shaped with the smaller end containing blunt muzzles with powerful jaws and conical teeth showing from under the dewlaps. Their heads sported crests and ridges, no two quite alike, splashed with shades of green and tawny-brown. A pale, nearly completely transparent silver-green aura flickered over each of them as they stood.

Their eyes were… arresting! Quite large and either amber or yellow, they seemed to be compound eyes like some sort of insect writ incredibly large. The way they caught the light they seemed to glow from within! It was impossible to tell just what they were looking at. Given the placement of those eyes they had a one hundred and sixty degree field of vision! With no pupils I had the uncomfortable suspicion they were all watching me!

Their skin was smooth and tough-looking… I had half-expected scales… and came in all shades of light-brown to green. They all of them wore tunics made of leather dyed in different colors. Who I assumed to be the Captain wore bronze. Another steel-gray. There were two who wore copper, one who wore green, another rust-red, while the Pilot had on cobalt-blue. Each of them wore corresponding arm wraps. The tunics extended well below the waist and their legs were bare right down to their bare, clawed feet.

Whether they were all male of female I couldn’t say. There was no evidence of sexual dimorphism I could detect… though I had no clue as to what to look for! I noticed with some curiosity that four of them had three-digited hands while the other two sported four! Where they the females/males?

The Bridge was silent except for some muted chirps and almost bird-like tones from the instrumentation at all stations. I made my cautiously toward the four aliens clustered at their stations and stopped at Copper-Tunic’s display where a rhythmic orange light pulsed in time with a high-pitched warble. None of them stirred. I wasn’t about to touch him, if this was indeed Magic I didn’t care to break the Spell just then! Instead, I waved a hoof in front of his face. No reaction.

I checked the translation matrix on my tricorder and set it to record before touching the orange light on the display. Unseen speakers came to life!

“Attention on planet surface. Is Captain Cloud Caper of Federation Starship, Hermes, in synchronous orbit above you. In name of Federation of Pastures I greet you and ask if you are in need of assistance. Please to respond… Attention on planet surface. Is Captain Cloud Caper of…”

I shut off the repeating message. Nobody down here was in condition to answer it. I backed a step away and called to Stimbolt.

“Stimbolt? Better get Sunny and Dazzle in here and get to work. I think I’ve found their Communications console.”

The others hustled into the room, their faces registering curiosity, shock, and suspicion depending on who was looking. Sunny stopped at the nearest alien, the one I thought was the Captain, and unshipped her tricorder. She waved the remote pickup over him. I motioned Stimbolt over to where I stood and indicated the console I got the playback from.

“See if you can access their Logs from here. They’re receiving our hails all right, they’re just not able to respond.”

“Shouldn’t be too much of a problem.” Stimbolt edged cautiously nearer the console, keeping a wary eye on the being before him. “A logic circuit is a logic circuit no matter who makes it! Just give me a few minutes to feel things out here.”

“You got it!” I stepped away to stand near Dazzle who’d taken up a position where she could cover the entire Bridge. Her gun was at low port and her eyes scanned everything continuously.

“Starry?” She asked. “With your permission I’m changing to a Heavy Stun setting. I’ve got a feeling that plain stun would just piss them off!”

“I think you’re right, Chief!” I agreed. “Go ahead.” We both re-set our weapons. I had just got my communicator out when Dazzle commented.

“Did you get a load of those eyes? Creepy! It’s like their blind yet still watching you!”

“I hear you!” I flipped open the communicator. “Landing Party to Hermes.”

“Go ahead, Starry-pushka.”

“We’re on the Bridge. The crew seems to be in what I’m assuming is Arcane stasis. They’re frozen at their stations, apparently while performing their duties! Sunny is getting readings while Stimbolt is attempting to access their systems. Stand by for uplink.”

I activated the video pickup on the communicator and panned it across the Bridge. I heard Caper grunt out “Put on Main Viewer.”

I kept panning back and forth while speaking.

“Their equipment is picking up your recorded message just fine. As you can see, though…”

“Da.” Caper acknowledged. “Message falls on deaf ears! Is chance of safely reviving crew?”

“We’ll know as soon as Sunny checks them out. I’ll keep you posted. Landing Party, out.”

“Hermes, out.”

I left Dazzle standing guard and made my way to Sunny’s patient. If he was the Captain I had the idea that his displays were repeaters from the other stations. If I could establish the relationship it would help in identifying the individual systems. I noticed that one of the displays had the same orange light on the communications console. I spent some time tracing the circuitry on the next display. Most of the circuits ran to points on the outer hull. I touched a control and a graphic display sprang up, surrounded by angular glyphs in stark white that looked like stylized carnivore teeth. The notion almost caused me to ignore the fact that the display was showing the Survey Marker buried in the meadow in front of the ship!

I applied more power and the graphic showed greater detail, the notations on the screen multiplying at a dizzy rate. A blinking cursor alerted me to something else. I accessed it and the display dissolved and reformed into a graphic of the Hermes as seen from this angle. On an impulse I increased the power…

As I watched our Ship sharpen in detail my communicator beeped. I flipped it open, not taking my eyes off the screen.

“Landing Party here.”

“Commander.” Caper said quietly. “Sensors show we are being scanned from you location. Is everything hokey-dokey?”

“Sorry, Caper. That was just me. I just found their Sensory Station is all. They had their sensors focused on the Survey Marker when whatever happened to them happened. It’s my belief that they saw it from orbit and came down to investigate.”

Caper grunted thoughtfully. “Question is did they knock Marker down in first place?”

“That wouldn’t make sense.” I replied. “If it was in orbit when they got here they could have taken it onboard to study it… or destroyed it where they found it. The Marker is in surprisingly good shape considering it took a five-hundred mile high dive!”

Somehow I could hear Caper frown! “Da. Why bring Marker to surface at all? Must have been on surface when they found it. Is Good Doctor ready with report yet… or is more ‘inspiration’ in order to improve performance?”

I caught Sunny’s eye and offered her my communicator, being careful not to smile!

“I’ll no dignify yon remark wi’ an answer!” She said stuffily. “As to th’ person I’ve checked out I have t’ report tha there’s summat strange goin’ on. Shi… and it’s a Hermaphrodite, by th’ by… seems t’ be in perfect health wi’ no sign o’ injury or disease I can make out. Shi’s indeed under a state o’ Arcane stasis, but it’s a type o’ stasis I’ve never seen in me Medical career! Shi seems t’ be in a stutterin’ state o’ …what d’ye call it… ‘time dilation’! Ever so often shi pops into real time n’ draws a breath. There! Shi’s a-takin’ one now!” She pointed to the Captain.

My ears flicked forward as my eyes locked on its face then its diaphragm. Concentrating hard, I could just pick up the inhalation… though it was just barely louder than the sound of the ventilation system!

“Then it, er, shi is in real time now?” I took a step back, pulling Sunny with me, waiting for some sign of reaction from the Captain. Sunny shot me an annoyed look.

“If ye’d let me finish!” She shook my arm off and continued. “Aye, shi’s in real time all right. Sure n’ shi’d be well aware o’ us but fer th’ fact tha’ I’m gettin’ readins’ o’ intense cranial activity. A braw, great amount more’n ye’d expect from an unconscious mind. Summat’s goin’ on in there…” She stabbed a finger at the crested cranium. “Keepin hir occupied! N’ tisn’t pleasant! If it were a Pony brain I’d be sayin’ shi’d be havin’ a nightmare r’ summat similarly traumatic. I’d like t’ hae a go at bringin’ hir out o’ it. No tellin’ how long shi’s been in this state.”

I cocked a wary eye at the being seated in front of us. It was difficult to read expression on such an alien face. Were those fangs exposed in a rictus of fear, or was that hir normal expression.

“Think it through, Sunny.” I cautioned. “What do you think you’d do if you woke up from a nightmare to find a crowd of aliens in our bedroom?”

“Um…” Sunny conceded. “Well all I’d do would be t’ wake ye up n’ let ye mop th’ floor wi’ them! I see wha’ ye mean, though.” She chewed her lip for a moment. “But shi’s still sufferin’ n’ I’m morally bound t’ give hir relief, alien or no!” She got that stubborn look in her lavender eyes I knew all too well.

“And it’s my responsibility to keep all of us safe.” I said reasonably. “And I’m in Command here. They all stay just as they are until we can bring them out with no risk to us. We’ll figure something out. Don’t worry, Sunny!” I gave her arm a squeeze.

“An if it were ye in her state?” She objected. “Look, why do ye lot go back into hallway n’ leave me here alone. I’ll have a bash at wakin’ hir up. It’ll be just me, then, n’ I’m hardly th’ threatnin’ type. Sure n’ I’ll take full responsibility fer it! Look, we’re riskin’ th’ possibility o’ possible permanent trauma, th’ readins’ r’ that high! Fer me money shi’s goin’ through Hell in there!”

“Sunny, you can’t even talk with them!”

“Then leave me yer gizmo there!” She pointed to my tricorder. “Sure n’ we’ll be bosom buddies in no time ‘tall!”

“I said no, Sunny! I’ll note your objections in my report but until we can figure out a better way to rouse them, they stay put!”

“Bloody paranoid maniacs, ye Militry types! Each n’ every bloody one o’ ye! Ye can be sure I’ll be mentionin’ this in me report as well!” She huffed. “There’s sich a thing as compassion…!”

“And practicality!” I retorted. “End. Of. Discussion.” I glared at her meaningfully. She crossed her arms and dug her metaphorical hooves in, a threatening glare building up in her own eyes.

We locked gazes for a while. Then, I began to raise Corporal Punishment’s hoof once again…

Sunny’s eyes widened in alarm and she backed off, dropping her eyes and scrambling to salvage her dignity! She turned to put her bottom against the Captain’s console.

“All right! All right! Ye’re in Command! I ken tha’! Och! Now who’s th’ bloody Holy Terror? Struth, is this how ye deal wi’ all yer Ponies?”

“Only the ones that ask for it.” I said with a not unapologetic grin. “You have to admit, it has the virtue of saving a lot of time!” I got serious again. “Look, I’m not insensitive to their predicament. But if the situations were reversed I’m sure their Landing Party would take the same precautions!”

“Aye, well like they used t’ say back in th’ day, tis a Hell o’ a way t’ run a railroad!” She relaxed just a little, looking sheepish and resettling her wings.

“Starry.” Stimbolt coughed. “I think I’ve got their Bridge Recorder isolated.”

“Can you get me a playback?” I hefted my tricorder and made my way over to him. Sunny tagged along and began scanning Copper Tunic.

“Yes. It’s the most recent entry as far as I can tell.” He cautiously reached beneath the alien’s clawed hands and prepared to tab a control. He looked up at Copper Tunic. “Hermaphrodite, you say?”

“Aye.” Sunny said distractedly, waving her sensor over the form. “…N’ this one’s carryin’ an egg, fer all love!”

“Oh!” Stimbolt looked startled and nervously addressed the alien. “Congratulations and, uh, excuse me ma’am…mister…?”

“Kid.” Dazzle put in from behind. “I don’t think it can hear you. …Though she does seem to have her eye on you, doesn’t she?” The Chief grinned at Stimbolt’s nervousness.

“Shi, wi’ an ‘i’.” Sunny corrected. “Tis an Herm, ye ken. Tis all in th’ pronoun!”

“If it’s got an egg on board it’s a girl as far as I’m concerned, Doc!” Dazzle grinned and looked around at the motionless throng. “I wonder who’s the father? The one that bought her dinner? I wonder if they take turns being on top?”

“Settle down, Dazzle!” I cautioned. “You’re giving me a mental image that’s beginning to turn my stomach!”

Sunny replaced her scanner and mused. “Well, t’would be a case o’ th’ best o’ both worlds, wouldn’t it?”

“Reptile chassis.” I hooked a thumb at the alien. “No boobs.”

“Aye.” She considered Copper Tunic doubtfully, then gave my chest a fond glance. “There is that. Takes th’ fun right out o’ everythin’, dunnit?”

“Even I gotta admit the Doc has a bigger set than the Lizard!” Dazzle laughed.

“Technically speakin’, they’re no lizards!” Sunny said in her ‘lecturin’ voice’. “They’re endotherms, warm-blooded ye ken wi’ a high metabolic rate. Rather like what th’ Paleontological types call an ‘Archosaur’. Not unlike th’ Dragons that used t’ live on Earth. …N’ I’ll be thankin’ ye not to be comparin’ me assets t’ th’ likes o’ yon!”

“Take it easy, Doc! I’m just making an observation here.” Dazzle snickered. “Maybe you better look at the Recorder before poor Stimbolt dies of embarrassment!”

The Middie was looking definitely uncomfortable at that!

“Oooh, kay.” He said, blushing. “Here we go!”

He tripped the control and we watched as the screen before Copper Tunic sprang to life. It showed the Bridge from a vantage point above and just behind the Captain. I looked up in the dimness and could just make out the pickup.

It was somehow eerie to see the crew of the ship animate! They way they moved dispelled any lingering notion of reptilian sluggishness. The Pilot’s claws darted here and there on hir console as their ship made its descent through the atmosphere. The crew at the cluster of stations behind hir attended their stations, their heads moving in sudden, quick jerks as they scanned their displays. Their claws poised and ready to make adjustments with lightning-like jabs. I was startled to see dark eyelids flash back and forth across their eyes now and then from both left and right instead of the more familiar up-and-down pattern Terrestrial life espoused. It occurred to me that it was like watching a group of sentient birds at work! The idea was bolstered a moment later when they began to talk amongst each other.

The sounds ran the gauntlet from gentle hisses to soft whoops and sudden, well, chirps! I made sure the translation matrix on my tricorder was picking this up.

We watched as Copper Tunic… the First Officer, maybe… turned hir entire body around to address the Captain. Their necks didn’t turn, apparently. She said something and made a gesture at hir display upon which a graphic representation of the terrain around the Survey Marker was displayed. The Captain dipped hir head once and replied as the First Officer turned back to her screen. We could just see out the Pilot’s windows as the ship broke through the clouds. Their bow was pointed at the ground below. As they neared touchdown the point of view leveled out as the ship assumed a parallel position relative to the ground. The tree line became visible as the ship sank further, rising up until the sky was no longer in sight and slowing all the time. The view stopped moving as the ship came to rest.

The Pilot began shutting down her systems as the others called out in turn from their stations, adjusting their controls as the ship grounded. They chatted among themselves, taking occasional glances out the viewports and I silently egged them on. The more they spoke, the more the translation matrix had to work with.

The Captain began speaking into her console and the crew deferentially refrained from talking, damnit! One of hir displays… the one I triggered… showed the Survey Marker in all its graphic glory.

We all jumped a little as a green light came on my tricorder as the matrix sank it’s electronic teeth into what it was picking up and began translating!

“… have landed the *Proper Name* at the site of the *orbiting machine*.” The translator was having trouble with technical terms and names and inserted corrections as it went. Hopefully it would get better as it went along and I found myself wishing we could pack a full duotronic processor in these things! But nopony would want to carry a tricorder half the size of a knapsack. I hoped future developments would be able to overcome that in years to come.

Herm or not, there was nothing marelike in the Captain’s voice. The translator gave hir a decidedly male tone with a gravelly element to it at odds to the tenor warbling of the being on the screen. I ignored the quirk of the mechanism and paid close attention as shi continued.

“This would seem to be the source of the *unnatural-calling* we received as we entered this *gathering-place-of-worlds*. Our *amassers-of-lore* have long been detecting *spoor* that this region of Space is inhabited an intelligent *form-of-life*. This *made-thing* may be first proof of that. Whether or not they are a threat to *The Hegemony* is not clear yet.”

“The *made-thing* is in remarkably good shape for all that it seems to have fallen from the sky. It’s *way-of-being-made* is simple and there are no *fighting-claws* in it. What damaged the *Proper Name* remains a mystery. This thing is little more than a *posted-message*. Why it has fallen down is not known. I intend to send out a *scouting-pack* to examine it and take it onboard for further study. *Pack-Leader*…”

The Alien gave a hiss as the sickeningly familiar face of ‘Admiral Quicksilver’ snarled out at them from all their screens.

“This is Admiral Quicksilver of the Federation of Pastures, whose space you have violated!” He declaimed. “For your action in destroying this claim marking this planet as property of the Federation I give notice that an immediate state of war now exists between the Gorn and Pony races! This atrocity will not go unpunished! Prepare for your doom, you bunch of pathetic geckoes!” Maniacal laughter persisted for seconds after the Captain’s screen went dark!

We watched as the startled ‘Gorn’ froze and were enveloped in the flickering auras we found them in! The playback went dark.

Sunny was the first to find her voice.

“Bloody Hell!”

“That motherbucking son of a bitch!” Dazzle swore.

“What now, Starry?” Stimbolt asked quietly.

“We’re sooo getting out of here, that’s what!” I reached for my communicator as the others clustered around me. A sudden flare of blue light from forward interrupted me and a nauseatingly familiar voice came from near the Pilot’s station.

“You thought you were all so clever, didn’t you?”

We whirled to regard ‘Admiral Quicksilver’ and his trademark crystal baton sneering at us!

Chapter Thirty Five- The Wrath of Discord

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

THE WRATH OF DISCORD

Stimbolt ducked beneath their arms and backed away until he ran into the Captain’s Station. I grabbed up my tricorder before I realized the translation matrix was just a fond memory. I dropped it to dangle off my neck and spread my arms wide, palms open an empty.

“Wait!” I boomed at the Gorn. All those Reptilian faces swiveled to look in my direction, their uncanny eyes staring! I lowered my voice to something approaching conversational level before continuing. “We didn’t do this.” I stated slowly and, I hoped, reasonably. “We’ve been lured here by the being that lured you here. He attacked us.” I indicated my burned clothing. “We drove him off. I’m sorry for the damage to your ship. …Can you understand me at all?”

To their credit the five Gorn did not attack. Two of them leaned heavily on their consoles. Another closed hir eyes and raised a clawed hand to hir head. The Pilot spun hir chair ‘round, legs splayed and braced against the deck to leap to hir feet, but stayed in hir seat. Hir maw opened to emit a set of sibilant rasps and atonal noises. Copper-Tunic split hir concentration between Stimbolt and myself, cocking hir ear-holes toward the Pilot. Hir own arms came out slowly, hir claws waving to hir crew in what I sincerely hoped was a stay-calm-and-lets-see-what’s-going-on gesture.

Shi certainly had their attention. Articulated hissing and weird, almost birdlike calls came from each of the others until shi arched the claws of one hand, turning hir body to glare at the majority of hir crew. The fell silent and turned to their boards, keeping one eye on us all the while. One at a time they spoke again. Short phrases and subdues gestures starting with the Pilot and ending with Green-Tunic who stood nearest hir. Were they giving status reports? I began to wonder how we would have reacted if we were in their place? Long seconds passed while the lingering smoke wafted off into the life-support systems.

“Starry?” Dazzle said softly. “I don’t know if our phased-balefire guns are still gonna work after Stimbolt’s little stunt…”

I turned my neck to catch the Chief’s eye… a maneuver that made the Gorn hiss softly, more than a few of them cocking one eye bird-fashion at me!

“Keep your hooves open and empty, all of you!” I said levelly. “We have to convince them we aren’t responsible for what happened to them. They haven’t started shooting. Barbarians don’t build starships. They’re rational beings, let’s hope they’re rational enough to give us the benefit of the doubt!”

Copper-Tunic turned to face me and mimicked my gesture, turning hir palms toward me. I turned toward hir and we locked gazes. Shi hissed something and pointed with one claw to the body of the Captain.

“Hoo-buck!” Dazzle said softly. “Here we go! Let’s hope they don’t access their logs!”

“Quiet!” I said over my shoulder. I regarded the Gorn before me and shook my head slowly from left to right as they all stared. “No. We did not do that. That was Discord. We are Ponies.” I pointed to myself, then at my crewmates. “Ponies.”

Shi turned her body and warbled something to the Gorn who stood at the Sensory Station Stimbolt had vandalized. That individual began working hir board, hissing in frustration as she worked around burned out systems. Next to hir the assumed Communications Officer sprang into action. An instant later, hir display lit up with a view of the Survey Marker buried in the meadow beyond the ship. Copper-Tunic pointed to it with one claw.

“Fffone-iss.” Shi hissed, then pointed at me. “Fffone-iss.”

“Shi has no lips!” Sunny said quietly. “Shi’s sayin’ ‘Ponies’!”

“I think shi’s wondering if that’s our satellite.” Stimbolt said hesitantly. Copper-Tunic turned to look at him and he blanched, edging away from the slain Captain to stand by me. Shi turned her body to look at me once again and one of hir claws made a horizontal pawing motion at me while the rest of hir crew stared intently.

“Er, I think we’ve reached an impasse.” Sunny whispered.

“Now what?” Dazzle whispered back.

“Quiet!” I watched as the pawing motion was repeated more urgently. Copper-Tunic raised that same appendage to her mouth and opened and closed hir fingers a few times before pointing at us.

Stimbolt caught on a fraction of a second before I did.

“Shi wants us to keep talking! I think they’re running our voices through what’s left of their computers. They must have a translation program!”

“Or maybe they just want to record our last words for posterity… before they turn us into snacks!” Dazzle put in grimly.

“Words.” We looked up at the synthetic voice, gravelly and hissing, rang from the Bridge speakers. “Your words make into our words. Keep talking.”

“Fillies and Gentlecolts I believe we have First Contact.” I said quietly before raising my voice to address Copper-Tunic. “I am Commander Starry-Eyes from the starship orbiting above this location.” I paused to let their machine digest this. “We represent the United Federation of Pastures and we come in peace. We saw your ship from orbit and came to investigate. We found your crew incapacitated and unable to move. We wanted to help. We were attacked while we were here by…” I wondered how to describe Discord. “…An enemy of both our people. We drove him off by using the equipment on your ship. In doing so we damaged it. We’re sorry about the death of your Captain. We wish to help repair your ship to show our good intentions.” I paused as the speakers began rendering what I said into the twitters and hisses of the Gorn language.

The crew began talking among themselves, their voices becoming agitated as Red-Tunic pointed at the body of the Captain. Copper-Tunic took no part of it, watching us intently and in silence with those unsettling eyes. Shi abruptly arched the claws of one hand and hir crew went silent. She spoke, after a pair of seconds the translation came over the speakers.

“Keep talking. More words. Machine wish help.” Shi splayed the claws of one hand to hirself. “I am…” The translator stuttered and supplied the closest analog. “…*Commander* of this ship. Federation of Pastures damage our ship. Damage *Higher-than-Commander*. Damage crew. No enemy here now. We investigate Federation of Pastures damage ship and crew. Now.” She clopped hir jaws shut to indicate the emphasis on that last word.

Sunny stepped up to the plate. She offered the Gorn a bow before speaking.

“I am Doctor Solar Cross.” She pointed to herself demurely. “I am a Doctor… I repair damaged people. Damaged in body or mind.” She touched her breast then her head. “Th’ Federation of Pastures is made up of many people. We are called ‘Ponies’. All o’ us…” She gestured to our little group. “…Are Ponies. If any o’ ye are hurt or in pain I want to help.” She turned her dazzling eyes on the Commander. “Please, may I?”

The Gorn remained silent listening to the playback then tossed subdued comments back and forth as their translator tangled with Sunnys’ accent.

I pointed to Stimbolt. “This one is an Engineer. He works with machines that make a ship function. Both he and the Doctor will help with your ship and crew. Our enemy is a creature of vast power and ability. But he does not understand machines as well as we do. We were able to trick him because of this…” I stopped as the Commander arched hir claws at me.

“Understand Doctor. Understand Engineer. Understand Ponies part of Federation of Pastures. Descriptive words funny. What is ‘he’? He…” Shi pointed to Stimbolt. “…Damaged the ship? Why should we let he do more damage? You not explain enough. We do not understand. How can enemy be here and then not be here? Our machines show no one else on this planet. We think you lie, Commander Starry-Eyes. Understand ‘lie’?”

“Oh, come on!” Dazzle stepped forward. “If we wanted you dead we would have pasted you from orbit! Why would we come down here with just a few of us? Think it through, damnit!”

I laid a hoof heavily on her shoulder. “Easy, Dazzle!”

“ I don’t trust them, Starry!” Dazzle retorted. “Have you noticed that their translator only seems to be working one way? They’re all hearing what we say but all we can hear is what they want us to!”

“Stand down and now!” I fixed her with a glare. “They have no reason to trust other than the fact that we’re not being hostile, now do they?”

“That one is a warrior, is he not? You brought one warrior to go among we Gorn?” The speakers asked.

I turned my attention back to the Commander.

“Your translator is very good and I am impressed that it still functions at all after what happened. But it is still learning our language and our understanding of one another is still imperfect. For example, Ponies have two genders! Male…” I pointed to Stimbolt. “…And female.” I pointed to myself. Dazzle cleared her throat significantly and rotated my wrist to point at her! I felt my ears droop and hurried to continue. “We saw from orbit that all your crew was asleep. We did not understand why that should be so we came here to offer Doctors an Technicians to see if we could help. Dazzle is not a soldier as such and was brought along to help keep us safe from whatever happened to you.” I stopped to let all that go through the system.

“We came into orbit. We saw your machine in the ground. We were attacked in orbit by could see no other ship. We landed near your device. We dreamed nightmares. We awoke to find you here and our *Pack-Leader* dead and our ship damaged even more. Did you think to capture us alive to learn more about the Gorn before attacking? Perhaps your Nightmare Weapon does not work on Gorn like you hoped. Perhaps your Doctor and Engineer came to make sure it would. Perhaps you can hide your ship from ours with technology. Ponies have a strange way of making war. As strange as the story you want us to believe. Where is the proof of what you say, Commander Starry-Eyes? Why should we trust what you say? Why?” She clapped hir jaws shut hard on that last word.

‘Why, indeed?’ I wondered. Intellectually I couldn’t blame hir. If the horseshoe was on the other hoof what would I think? I seethed at the fact that we were being set up but for the life of me I couldn’t think of any way to prove it, damn Discord! All I could think to tell hir was the truth… as improbable as it sounded. At least they hadn’t gotten around to playing back what Discord put in their logs yet…

“The enemy I spoke of is a… supernatural… creature. One that exists to cause chaos and mayhem for his amusement.” I paused and sighed, giving the Commander an exasperated look. “Look, I know what this sounds like! I understand that there is no good reason for you to trust me. But, if I were lying, don’t you think I could have made up a more believable story?”

“Supernatural is not real. *The Everything* works by laws that can be worked out by *calculation*. Facts are facts. Are Ponies insane?” The Commander wondered as flatly as hir synthesized voice could.

“D’ye no ken, er, do ye understand that plain facts are just statistics?” Sunny asked softly. “N’ statistics can be manipulated. Usin’ mere ‘facts’ I could ‘prove’…” She made air quotes, a gesture the Gorn found very interesting. “…That apples cause shuttle disasters because most pilots who crashed shuttles ate apples. In a Universe that operates accordin’ t’ th’ laws of physics are there no things that seem t’ happen against these laws? Do they no happen all th’ time throughout time? Is it just a coincidence o’ probability, or is summat… eh, some-thing… (She enunciated carefully!) else involved? Magic is supernatural yet Magic is part o’ th’ Universe.” Her horn shone brightly in the dimness of the Bridge and a cascade of pastel red and yellow ethereal blooms fell around her like supernatural snow only to vanish when they hit the decking. “N’ th’ Universe is part o’ th’ Magic.” She finished quietly.

Most of the Gorn hissed softly at the display and all of them stared with their unnerving eyes. I reached out to touch Sunny on the shoulder as the translator did its work.

“It was a good effort, but they’ll either believe us or not. That’s ‘facts’ for you!” I gave her a tender smile.

She looked back at me and for a fleeting moment the Sunny I knew and loved was there… but, as she looked at me, her eyes grew troubled and she looked away. My hoof, suddenly as heavy as the lump of neutronium in my chest, fell to my side limply as the Gorn held conclave before us. I just didn’t have the heart to pay much attention just then.

“If this is war…then it is an insane way to make a war.” The Commanders’ voice wrenched my attention back at attention. “In our experience insane peoples do not build starships.” I shot Dazzle a brief, I-told-you-so look! “My *self-feeling* tells me that perhaps you do not lie. Perhaps we do not have all the information to understand.. yet.” Shi waved a clawed hand at the sensor station. “Your ship in orbit is watching us with its machines. Our ship cannot stop this in its present condition. It is very large. There are many on board. It is not doubted that your weapons can reach the surface of this planet easily.”

“That is true on both counts, Commander.” I said, the beginnings of a wave of relief threatening to overflow my senses. “But we did not come here to fight. It is as I said. We came to help and investigate.”

“There is no indication of a small ship nearby. Like the Gorn, Ponies have a *Remote Placing Device*. Your ship could have taken you up at once and you could have slain us at will. Yet you stayed to… talk.” The Gorn cocked hir head to look at me with one sparkling, orange eye.

“Well…” I gave hir a smile and a shrug. “…I won’t lie to you, Commander. When we used your equipment to save ourselves from our enemy we destroyed our ability to call our ship. We were in the process of seeing whether or not your ship retained the ability of communicating at, uh, speed-of-light methods when you woke up. We did not understand what had happened to you and needed to get more help in order to find out.” I pointed forward to beyond the ship. “ The small machine in the ground outside is a marker left by an automated Survey Ship that was programmed to search out worlds for colonization. We have since lost contact with that ship. It is part of the reason we are in this area of Space.”

The Gorn Commander went back to looking at me with both eyes and hissed softly.

“Then… from where you stand… The Gorn may have destroyed the Survey Ship.” She splayed the claws of one hand, a sign of negation maybe? “We did not do that. We have seen no other ship before coming here. This will be a point of contention between the Federation of Pastures and the *Hegemony*, Commander Starry-Eyes. The Gorn do not recognize a claim made by a machine. This is a good world. A rich world. The *Hegemony* want it very much. And the Gorn landed here first!”

“Well…” I gave the Gorn a helpless grin. “That will have to be a job for the Diplomats, won’t it? Hopefully the Federation and the Gorn can work something out. A planet is a big place with room for all sorts of people. I believe the Federation would be happy to share one. In the meantime I’d like to offer the help of my shipmates and I in getting your ship spaceworthy again… if you will allow us?” I slowly extended my hoof to the alien Commander. “Among my people it is the custom to grip forearms when we greet new friends.” I explained.

The Gorn regarded my open hoof with one eye then the other in rapid succession before returning hir gaze to my face. Shi hissed softly as shi stretched forth her hand and took my forearm, hir three-clawed hand having an awkward time of getting a comfortable grip. We squeezed firmly. The Gorn felt cool to the touch.

We released one another but her claw remained poised.

“In our culture.” Shi stated. “We put our claws to each other’s throat. The meaning is the same, is it not? To show there is no indication to fight.”

I nodded. The gesture making the rest of the Gorn hiss.

“Then I will do the same.” I raised my hoof to lay it alongside hir throat just under the jaw. Hir claws came up to rest alongside my jugular, barely making contact.

Shi returned hir claw to her side.

“This may not be friendship yet, Commander Starry-Eyes, but at least it is a pause to allow understanding. The Gorn will abide.” Hir maw parted just a little bit… an emotional expression, maybe… and the quality of hir hissing changed as shi added. “How do Ponies keep their heads on with such loose necks? It makes us feel *pain-by-sympathy* to watch you!”

Shi half-turned as Red Tunic spoke up. Shi arched her claws at hir and turned back to me.

“Your ship calls you.” Shi pointed to the screen by Red-Tunic. “There. We will wait.” Shi motioned hir people to stand to one side, presumably in the range of the visual pickup.

All I wanted to really do was sag in relief just then. I wouldn’t have given a hoof-full of low grade gravel for our chances up until those last few seconds! As it was I drew myself up and released the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

The Romulans, I’m sure, wouldn’t have believed a word of it and would have bided their time waiting for just the right moment to strike back. The Klingons would have taken just one look and came out swinging and to Hell with the consequences. The Gorn had shown patience that maybe even a Starfleet Crew might not have… and for that I was eternally grateful! In the course of the Federations’ history there had been worse First Contacts and I held out a lot of hope that things were off on the right hoof between these Gorn and ourselves.

Red-Tunic lingered by hir station, one claw-tip poised over the control that would open the channel. Hir eyes blinked at me in the back-and-forth way their eyes had as I nodded cordially to hir. Shi closed the contact as I stepped up.

I was about to thank hir when she erupted into green flame to the trilling tone of a full-strength phased-balefire hit!

I dodged away and whirled just in time to see the rest of the Gorn crew fall in rapid succession, a small bale-bonfire marking each fallen form. The Commander was the last to go. Shi had just enough time to look right at me, hir mouth agape and her conical teeth displayed. Shi warbled something… and then she was gone in an arcane blaze!

“What? What treach-?” Hir last words, time-lagged, came across the speaker and died away into the shocked silence. A moment later the fire suppression system on the Bridge sprang into action and a chemical fog spread from the ceiling to begin pooling on the deck.

I whirled to face the landing party!

“Who fired? Why?”

“Hay! Don’t look at me!” Dazzle declared, displaying her open and empty hooves. Sunny was wide-eyed in shock. I knew she was unarmed so I bent my glare on the hapless Stimbolt who splayed his own empty hooves and shook his head violently.

I looked at the miniature pyres burning on the deck, the balefire gleefully consuming the extinguishing gas and being indifferent to the tragedy.

“I know I sure as Hell didn’t do it!” I growled. “Damn it!”

“What a tragedy!” Exclaimed the insincere voice from the screen behind me.

I whirled again, my mane swinging, and snarled at the face I saw.

A couple seconds ago I’d been expecting to see Capers’ welcome face there. Instead I was face to face with The Prince of Chaos!

He wasn’t quite the same as before. One of his eyes were swollen and blackened. The deer antler on his head was being held together by a splint, a pair of band-aids made an ‘x’ on his cheek, and the broken fang he’d sported before had a new neighbor on the other side of his muzzle. The end of his goat’s beard smoldered as we watched and his shoulders and arms were scraped and raw in places. The hand that held the Magic Prism alone was unscathed. The rest of the old Monster had been through Hell, it seems, but there was nothing wrong with his annoying, oily voice!

“What a tragedy!” He repeated. “I saw the whole thing happen! Do let me show you!” He sneered into the screen and his visage went away to be replaced by a view of the Gorn Bridge…

We watched as the Gorn crew were chivvied into a group under the sadistic gaze of none other than myself as Dazzle covered them with her rifle! Sunny was bent over the still-twitching body of the Gorn Captain, thick blood spattering her body as she continued dissecting the still-living form beneath her! Stimbolt was busy at work ransacking their electronics, vital components stacked on the deck next to him as he worked.

We all of us were wearing gleeful, maniacal smiles that would have made a Klingon stop and think twice before saying anything! As we watched, the faux-Stimbolt looked over his shoulder and said. “Wait a minute! I’m almost done!” He ripped out on final device and threw it on his pile before hopping over it and drawing his balefire pistol to stand beside me. “Ready, Commander!”

My Evil Twin cocked an eye at the Marquise de Sade-Alicorne as she giggled and sliced away, happy as a foal in a sandbox.

“Last chance, Doc! Ya gonna join us for the fun?”

“Nay, nay! Ye go right on ahead!” My erstwhile Love made a bold slash with her surgical laser, then carelessly shoved organs out of the way as she rooted deep. The Gorn Captain gave forth with a pitiable hissing groan as she continued.

“All this is givin’ me quite th’ appetite n’ I’ve a mind t’ have a wee snack!” She reached deep and pulled out a leathery, blood-smeared egg the size of her fist. “An Omelet! Th’ very thing!” She licked spots of blood off her muzzle as she contemplated her prize.

The Captain hissed weakly and made a weak grab at her.

“Oh, dinna be sich a sissy!” Sunnys’ image made a deft motion with her scalpel and flipped the Captains’ heart out of hir body to throb and spasm wetly on the deck as absurd jets of blood geysered around her. The Captain finally stopped moving and fell silent, the air coming out of hir lungs in one last, mournful hiss.

“Hay! I’ll have that for dessert. Just gimme a minute!” The false Dazzle looked up at me with real bloodlust in her eyes! “Let’s skrag these bastards already!”

“That’s why you’re just a Chief, Chief!” My deranged doppelganger admonished. “As an Officer you learn that half the fun is watching them wait for it!” I waved my gun at the Gorn and they flinched and hissed in alarm. “See?” ‘I’ giggled. “And we’re gonna do ‘em one at a time so the others can watch it. That officer…” The balefire pistol indicated the Commander. “Is mine, so hooves off! That leaves two each for the both of you since The Doc is busy!”

In the background, Sunny had conjured up an iron skillet over a balefire flame that appeared near the corpse. With a flick of her horn she lopped off the end of the egg and decanted it into the hot grease and choice bits sautéing there. Something larger than a yolk tumbled out and squalled piteously as it fell into the pan.

“Oooh!” She squealed and clapped bloody hooves together. “Goody! ‘Tis me lucky day t’ be sure!”

“Right!” Evil Starry beamed at her. “Save me the Prime Rib, Sunny! Ok, you two.” She nodded to her firing squad. “Show me what you learned in Basic!”

Faux-Stimbolt grinned and shot Red-Tunic in the guts. As the body went up in green-flame-rimmed blue he put a second shot square in the chest of Green-Tunic! Two shots in less than two seconds! The bodies crumbled and showered the deck in glowing pink ash as the Commander cringed away.

Dark Dazzle triggered her rifle with a feral chuckle and the two Brown-Tunics went up in writhing pyres at the same instant as Evil Me shook her head.

“You see? That’s just what I mean! You’re always in too big of a hurry! Quality over Quantity! Good shooting, Stimmy!” She clapped the malevolent Middie on the back, almost making him stagger into the crumbling and dissipating ash before she adjusted the her own pistol to the lowest balefire setting. “Now let me show you chumps how it’s done!”

With that, she shot the Commander low on each leg. The balefire consumed each limb, the arcane conflagration moving steadily upwards the writhing torso. The Commander wailed and reached with lashing claws for her as the legless body fell to the deck and burned. It took seven long seconds until the balefire consumed hir head and shi lived through each, agonizing one of them!

She stuck her pistol back in her jacket and rubbed her hooves together with every evidence of satisfaction.

“It’s all in the technique!” She said smugly. Then, “Ok! Let’s eat! Who brought the ‘tater salad?”

The screen went dark for a second before Discord reappeared, grinning!

“There! I caught the whole thing, and that’s exactly how the Gorn will see it! Trust me!” He propped his mismatched head on one paw and regarded us with deranged appreciation, patting his muzzle with the crystal in his free claw. “I must say that you Ponies have really polished your technique over the years!” He wiped at a huge tear that formed in the corner of his good eye. “I’m so proud of you!” He frowned at Stimbolt. “Almost all of you, that is!” He added. He snapped the fingers of the talon that held the crystal and the console gleamed with a verdant aura. The mechanisms there murmured to life.

“Damn you!” I found my voice at last! “What the Hell do you think you’re doing now?”

“I think that’s the Comm panel.” Stimbolt said quietly. “Uh, I think he’s sending a subspace message.”

“But all the subspace circuits are fried!” I protested.

Stimbolt shrugged helplessly. “Magic makes up for a lot.”

Sunny, who had been looking green on her own, suddenly fell on all fours and proceeded to lose her lunch!

“You’re a buckin’ maniac, you know that?” Dazzle stepped forward with balled fists.

“AND HOW DID I GET THAT WAY?” His voice thundered from every speaker on the bridge. We all flinched. The screen dissolved into a multicolored swirl before it stabilized again to show a glaring Discord!

“For more eons than you can possibly imagine with you shriveled Equine mind I was happy. I was free!” He raged. “I was Discord, the Lord of Chaos! Until you Ponies corrupted me! ME! Oh, you all were so very clever about it! No Magic was as powerful as mine. No magic is as powerful as mine!” He brandished the crystal at us in the screen as he declaimed. “You fight dirty, Ponies! I never would have stooped to such tactics! I am a creature with honor…” He became terrifyingly calm again and added matter-of-factly. “My kind of honor, that is…and that’s the only kind that matters, you know!”

Sunny wiped her mouth wearily and came to her knees to look up into the monitor.

“Ye’re sick!” She said thickly. “Yer mind is broken by grief n’ longin’! If ye’d only come t’ us before ye’d’ve found another friend eventually t’ love…” She paused as a damp washcloth, a brush, and a bottle of mouthwash flashed into being, hovering before her.

“Do clean yourself up, Dear!” Discord urged. “You look a positive fright!”.

How he glared at the rest of us!

“That’s your answer to everything, isn’t it?” He sneered. “Lose a friend? Just make a new one and another and another and another and another.” The image on the screen multiplied itself, new heads springing from his body, each one adding it’s voice in turn until he was a chorus!

“As if that takes away the pain!” He howled. “You Ponies are the sick ones! You make a virtue of grief!” He changed. Suddenly he was wearing a lab coat, a ridiculous fringe of frizzy white hair adorning the back of his head. Reading glasses were perched on his muzzle as he regarded with half-closed eyes the old-style notebook he held in one hand. He scribbled in it with the crystal with his free one.

“It’s all terribly unhealzy.” He concluded clinically in a cheesy Germane accent. “Nein! You should conzider your own verschliggered behaviors before you prezoom to cazt asperzions on mine own! But I feel zat, viz the proper terapy, …” He glanced up sharply as Stimbolt cast a glance at the Captains’ command station.

“Now, now, now, Herr Schtimbolt!” He said patiently, waggling the crystal at the Middie who jumped. “You haff already shown a tendency tord antizocial behavior, ja? Tch, tch, tch! I zink I vill haff to restrain you. No more monkey bizness mit your little toys! Ve haff had quite enough of zat, haven’t ve?” He smiled sympathetically at Stimbolt with lightning flickering in his eyes.

With a flash of light, the young Unicorn was hanging upside-down in mid air wearing a tight, green straitjacket secured with an absurdly huge padlock!

Dazzle leapt at him, trying to pull him down and ended up swinging her legs in futility for her trouble while Sunny watched in dismay!

“Put him down, Discord!” I said as calmly as I could. “What he did was with my blessing. You want to pick on somepony, pick on me!”

Dazzle dropped to the deck, trying to tug on Stimbolt’s’ bound arms. After a few tugs she gave up and whirled on the screen!

“All right, you fruitcake!” She seethed. “Let the kid go! He was just doing what any Starfleet member would do in the same situation! You’ve already started a Goddessdamned war with an alien species! What the buck else do you want!”

Unperturbed, ‘Doctor’ Discord tapped the end of his muzzle thoughtfully with the crystal as he regarded the haplessly hanging young colt.

“Oh, ze var iz only a zide issue!” He waved the crystal dismissively. “Vot iz really important iz der lack of ze… communication betveen us. Ja! Vat ve haff here iz a failure to communicate!” He said decisively and turned his mad, mad eyes on us all.

“You Ponies do not respect me.” He explained patiently. “Everyzing I do, you fight me at every turn! You are all zo caught up in your deluzions of rationality zat nozing I say reaches you!” Pleased with himself, he scribbled a note in his book!

“Zerefore!” He said triumphantly. “I perschribe a radical new terapy! Zince I cannot dischipline any of you, vun uff you will adminischter der dischipline! Ze lezzon is driven home mit such force und clarity! I am brilliant, ja?” He tapped his chin meditatively with the crystal as he considered us.

“But vich vun vill it be? Vich vun….”

“Forget it!” I growled. “Like I said, pick on me! Leave the others alone!”

“Nein, nein, nein!” Discord waved me away. “To pick you vould only feed your already overdeveloped Martyr complex, ja? Und zis vun…” He indicated Sunny who was rising to her hooves, fighting off the advances of both brush and washcloth. “Iz zuch a pathetiker already zat ze benefitz vould be lost on her as anyzing else but an obzerver.”

His cold, clinical eyes fell upon Dazzle like glacier chunks!

“Zis vun, I tink!” He pondered for a moment then nodded, pausing to make another note in his book. “Ja, zis vun vill do nicely!”

“Guess again, Belfry-Brains!” Dazzle gave Chaos the Universal Salute! “Like my Pa always said, ‘I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire!’”

Sunny fended off both items with one hoof each!

“Wait!” She said. “Why not Stimbolt? What’s th’ Laddie exempted fo-glarghh!” The mouthwash had zipped in and hosed off her mouth! She coughed and spat!

“Drop this idiotic charade, Discord!” I stepped up to the screen in the desperate hope that if he couldn’t see the others he couldn’t do anything to them. There was a flash of green light and I suddenly found myself standing on the far side of the room in the doorway of the Bridge!

“Herr Schtimbolt, Frau Doctor, iz in ze nature of an object lezzon.” Discord lectured. He turned his gaze on the helpless Middie.

“Und… like I zaid to anozzer… he’s earned zis! Zey both have.” He added darkly. His eyes snapped to Dazzle and he gestured impatiently.

“You! Come here! Schnell! Look at me vhen I talk to you!” His eyes bored into Dazzle’s sternly.

“NO!” Sunny yelled. “Dinna look in his eyes! He’s-” Sunny gagged and fell to all fours again, choking on a lungful of astringent mouthwash.

“Dazzle! Turn away!” I thundered with all the lungpower I could manage… the volume surprised even me!

I sprinted toward the Chief, fully intending to body-block her to keep her out of Discords’ line of sight. But as I took the first step I flipped forward as the grav plating suddenly shot up to at least five gees, doing The Worst Shoulder Roll Ever!

I picked myself onto my aching elbows just in time to watch Dazzle fall under Discords’ spell!

She didn’t go stiff, she didn’t even flinch! Instead, her face went utterly calm as she stood straight as casually as if she were getting up to answer a call. She turned to look at Stimbolt with no particular expression on her face at all. As if she were doing nothing out of the ordinary, she walked up to the struggling Middie.

Discord, still in his cockamamie mode, cackled!

“Mein Fuehrer! She can valk!” He waved his crystal like a bandleader’s baton and actually began singing off-key!

“Oh, ve’ll meet again! Don’t know how! Don’t know vhennn…”

Dazzle drew the balefire pistol from her jacket and adjusted the settings…

“Dazzle! Dinna do it!” Sunny screamed as best she could.

“Dazzle!” I bellowed, struggling to rise to my hooves.

“Starry….?” Stimbolt wriggled helplessly as Dazzle extended her arm and took aim.

“But ve’ll all meet again…” Discord’s cracked voice cackled on!

Dazzle stopped three feet away, her pistol centered on Stimbolt’s chest.

“NOOO!” Sunny shrieked.

“Dazzle!” I yelled.

“Don’t…” Stimbolt got out.

“Vun sunny dayyyy!” Discord put all his lack of heart and soul into the finale.

Just as her finger tightened on the trigger, an awful awareness dawned on Dazzle’s face… but the rest of her was firmly in Discord’s control!

There was just enough balefire set to cauterize the neat three inch hole that passed through Stimbolt’s body. The blue-green beam lasted for barely a second and transfixed him like a butterfly on a pin, blasting a pockmark in the wall behind him before snuffing out. Stimbolt was already gone by then.

Chapter Thirty Six- At the mercy of Madness

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

AT THE MERCY OF MADNESS

In the popular entertainment vids a pony gets shot and just flops down, case closed… the reality is different. A dying pony convulses as his body refuse to accept his brains’ ruling that The Party Is Over. Stimbolt shuddered and shook in the confines of the straitjacket Discord had him in as he gasped, burbled wetly, and hissed. His eyes bugged and seemed to be trying to pop straight out of his head and his hooves drummed on the deck.

Sunny scrambled over to him on all fours, her usual grace deserting her in her urgency. Her horn flared to life but its nimbus washed off Stimbolts’ body impotently, warded off by a sickly green aura.

Dazzle goggled at the sight that lay at her hooves for a long second before she threw her gun away with a snarl and fell to her knees, clawing at the padlock that secured the body of the poor Middie.

“Do something, Doc!” She didn’t yell. Instead, there was a terrible urgency to her voice. “He’s dying!”

Sunny bit her lip in frustration as she tried spell after spell in rapid progression, the tears streaming down her face.

“I canna!” She moaned plaintively. “Naught can touch him! Not stasis, not healing… I canna even get th’ bloody jacket off th’ laddie!” Her own hooves clutched at the straitjacket frantically, but she might have been trying to get a hold of oiled glass for all she accomplished. Stimbolts’ struggles tapered off as dark blood and vomit began to spray out of his mouth as he choked. Finally, as Sunny and Dazzle watched helplessly, his writhing ceased and the light forever left those oh-so-young eyes.

Sunny tried to lay a hoof on his breast.

“His glow is fading.” She said quietly. She watched him for a space then closed her lavender eyes. “…’Tis gone.”

“No! Oh, Hell no!” Dazzle fell to trying to administer CPR to a body she couldn’t quite touch until Sunny touched her shoulder.

I sagged. All I wanted to do was slump to the deck even if it meant breaking my neck in this higher gravity! The Equestrin in me stirred, though. Sunny and Dazzle needed me, damnit! I tensed every muscle in my body and heaved myself onto my knees, trying to ignore the cacophony of chiropractic sounds from my protesting joints, and glared at the screen.

Discords’ image had abandoned his trappings and has resumed his throne-like seat. Indifferent to the tragedy before him, he’d conjured up what looked like a glass of chocolate milk and drank it down with relish. A snap of his fingers called forth a dainty white hanky. He dabbed at his mouth delicately and flung the thing away where it hovered in the form of a white cloth butterfly. He frowned at it and, with another snap of his fingers, burned it to ashes. As the debris sifted down out of sight he held up his Magic Prism and eyed it with irritation.

“All right, ‘Doctor Strangepony’!” I ground out, psyching myself up to attempt standing. “Since when does the Lord of Chaos stoop to senseless murder? History paints you as a trickster, not a killer!”

Discord gave up his scrutiny to spare me a glance.

“That’s ‘Doctor Strangelove’, not ‘Doctor Strangepony’! Really! If I’m going to all that trouble you might as well get the name right! It’s your culture I’m referencing, after all.” He cocked an unkempt eyebrow at me. “And since when am I History instead of Mythology? Am I making a Believer of you, Starry-Eyes?” He purred.

“The only thing you’ve made me is a freak!” Feeling like I was balancing an ore cart on my back, I carefully and slowly got my hooves underneath me. Certain bits of anatomy I’d recently acquired twinged painfully as they felt like they were being dragged out by their roots. “Why did you kill him, Discord? He was just a colt… and there are plenty of Ponies who hate you more than he did!” Treating the bastard to the most baleful glare I could muster, I braced my hooves underneath me and put everything I had into standing!

It was like picking up a shuttlecraft, but I was doing it! …Discord, of course, switched off the grav plating beneath me just as I got underway!

I caromed off the ceiling, hitting my head hard enough to see stars, and was in the act of rebounding when he resumed normal gravity. I got my hooves underneath me just enough to break my fall but not enough to make a graceful landing!

It wasn’t quite a belly-flop. I ended up full–length on the deck, my teeth clacking together, the breath whooshing out of my body, and tears springing into my eyes as my new Tender Bits exploded with pain! The concept of external genetalia, I came to the conclusion as I groaned, is highly overrated!

I forced my eyes open as I heard Sunny speak up.

“Why kill him?” She asked sadly. “Just t’ make a point? D’ye no ken tha’ we’re bloody powerless against th’ likes o’ yourself? D’ye ken tha’ this…” She indicated the body of Stimbolt. “Will get ye what ye want, ye cold-blooded bloody Chimera!”

He tore his amused gaze off me to whirl on Sunny.

“Aww! Why are you so sad, Princess?” His voice dripped poisoned sarcasm. “Don’t cry because he’s gone, smile because he happened! Death is but a Door, after all! That’s what they told me! …Or am I held to a different standard than all of you?” He added darkly.

Dazzle had been silent all this time, staring fixedly at the face of the slain Middie. With a hesitant hoof, as if Stimbolt would wake and hurl accusations at her at any instant, she reached out and closed those tragic, stricken eyes. Her gaze wandered around vacantly until it fell on the balefire pistol. She recoiled from it until she became aware of Discords’ voice. Her eyes snapped to the screen and blazed! She snatched up the weapon and brought it to bear right between the eyes of the image there. She screamed incoherently as she triggered the blast!

The screen shattered into a spiderweb of fractures around the melted hole! Against all the laws of physics, the image of Discord remained leering at her from each and every shard. Each and every image there spoke with its own tiny voice in varying volumes according to its size.

“Good shootin’, Calamity!” They chorused. “But then, we’ve already seen how accurate a shot you are!”

The tiny voices cackled in insane laughter as Dazzle fired again and again, ruining the console entirely. Discords’ image transferred itself to the remaining screens and he taunted her from a half-dozen directions at once!

Before she could manage even one more shot, though, she was enveloped in the aura of Sunnys’ horn. It was an anesthesia spell and it made her collapse onto her back, the gun clattering out of her hoof as Sunny caught her and eased her down.

“Stop it! Stop it!” Sunny shrilled, stomping a hoof! “Have ye no done enough already?”

“… Apparently not.” The faces on the screens stated matter-of-factly, tapping his chin thoughtfully and peering about into all corners of the Bridge.

I picked myself up off the deck painfully, the pain in my groin making it difficult to stand up straight.

“What…?” My voice came out in a strained squeak. I coughed and tried again. “What’s that supposed to mean? It doesn’t help us understand what you want when you don’t make sense, damn you!” I essayed a few cautious steps toward Sunny. It became easier to walk, though I still felt nauseous from the shot to my new hardware.

I came to kneel next to Sunny as she arranged the unconscious Dazzle on the deck. I laid a tender hoof on her shoulder. It broke my heart to feel her flinch away from my touch…

Trust Discord not to miss a thing like that!

“What’s the matter, Starry-Eyes, trouble in paradise?” His voice dripped with hammed-up sympathy and concern. He appeared on the screen nearest me, whole and hearty again, leaning in to speak confidentially behind the claw that held the Prism.

“If you ask me, I think she’s just jealous! Maybe I switched the wrong one around. She has a lot of ‘butch’ tendencies already, don’t you think? Mind you, I’m not saying I was wrong in my choice but I can see how it could work out the other way around. I really think she’d like to be the big, strong type. What do you say? I can even make you little and skinny, wouldn’t that be fun? It’s the least I can do to make up for all the trouble I’ve caused! Come on, what do you say?” He winked at me and brandished the crystal.

I contemplated Dazzles gun lying on the deck. I was sorely tempted to pick it up and carry on where she left off… but where would that get me?

“I’ll be thankin’ ye to no talk about me as if I werna here.” Sunny said dangerously. “N’ as far as yer offer goes, boyo… stuff it!”

The Lord of Chaos stuck his forked tongue out at her briefly before turning to me again.

“Humph! Alicorns! Never met one yet that wasn’t just so full of themselves. Sooo hoity-toity! Turning her into an Earth Pony would do her good, wouldn’t you say?” He eyed my Love darkly, toying with the Prism

“You heard the lady, Bub!” I said evenly. “You touch one hair, one feather, one chromosome on her and I’ll find some way to make you eat that fancy gemstone of yours. Got it? And since when are you so suddenly concerned with our well-being?” I stood and squared off with the mocking image on the screen. “You’ve killed one of my crew and deranged another!” I fought to keep my voice from rising higher than it already was. It took every last scrap of Augment control at my disposal to keep from raising my hooves to threaten him. “I won’t even get started on what you did to me, or these Gorn! I don’t care if you’re fruitier than a nut cake, you’ve gone to a lot of trouble to set all this up. Now, What Do You Want With Us?” Without realizing it, I’d balled up one huge fist and begun cocking my arm back.

But Discord only smirked. Then he grinned. The grin turned into a snicker, then a giggle, then full-blown laughter! His image collapsed onto his throne-like chair, practically doubling up in helpless mirth as I seethed. Sunny rose to stand next to me. She didn’t take my hand, but at least she was there and that made me feel better by exactly that much.

“How’s that testosterone working for you?” He giggled, wiping at his eyes. “You’re so adorable when you get mad! And you talk about my sense of humor!” He hooted and held his belly while Sunny and I exchanged looks.

With another of those switchback moods swings I’d come to know all too well, he changed tacks again.

“Where is all that intelligence that all your ridiculous kind are so proud of?” He glowered at us from his throne. “Do you really think I need anything from you? I’ve had quite enough of Ponies, thank-you-very-much, and I don’t intend to be trapped like that again! I’ve got a higher goal in mind!”

He threw himself back in his chair carelessly and seemed to forget us for a moment. He muttered to himself, ticking points off on the fingers of his paw.

“Let’s see… I’ve killed that silly Engineer, had my fun with the pathetic Earth Pony, and paid back that Security Pony. That’s three and three should have been enough! What could she be waiting for, I wonder? Hmmm….” He tapped his chin with the crystal in meditation. “Maybe nine times would draw her out, don’t you think?” He addressed the last remark to the crystal itself. “She probably just needs more coaxing. Well…” His mad gaze wandered back to us, his brimming with dark intentions. “We can arrange that, can’t we?”

I put myself between Sunny and the Lord of Chaos, my mind racing. Now what was he on about? And who was ‘she’? Every time I thought I was getting a handle on this mad thing he’d spin off in another direction!

Something about this talk of threes was familiar. Then it went off like a gamma-ray burst in my head!

Given a choice, Tyllae did things in threes. She wouldn’t enter Sekkacks’ cabin until she was invited three times. She said it was a ‘Faery Rule’! And ‘Quicksilver’ said he was coming to collect…

“Tyllae.” I stated aloud. “You want Tyllae!” I squinted at the image on the screen. “Why?”

“It took you long enough!” Discord scolded. “But what else could I expect? You probably never would have guessed it at all if I didn’t give you a clue!” He stuck his tongue out at me in petty smugness.

“She’s immortal, by all accounts.” Sunny said quietly. “Is that is, ye great, arrogant lump? Ye want a friend that’ll never die, do ye? N’ what makes ye think fer even a wee instant she’d take up wi’ th’ likes o’ ye?”

“She’s only hanging around with you bunch until she finds something better!” The Clown Prince of Chaos retorted. “Do you really think she actually cares for you? She’s a Faery! She has as much in common with you as you do to a worm. Don’t mistake practicality with maudlin affection! Trust me, Ponies, all Faeries are flighty. Like me, they’re creatures of Chaos. She’s just making the best of a bad situation. First chance she gets she’ll gladly leave for greener pastures! I’m here to give her that chance!”

I remembered the night Tyllae came to us. I remembered cuddling the sobbing little Fey to me. I remembered the terrible loneliness and despair in those tiny, black eyes. As well as the devotion and trust I saw in them countless times since. The implication that Tyllae was just using us burned in my heart!

“The only thing I trust about you,” I told the thing on the screen. “Is that you lie like a rug! If what you say is true why bother with the whole charade in the first place? Why pretend to be ‘Admiral Quicksilver’? Why put our ship and crew through your… your… tortures, you sadistic maniac?”

Maybe with Stimbolt gone and the Bridge a wreck Discord felt safe. Maybe I just provoked him… I had to admit that it gave me more than a little satisfaction to find that I was able to needle a god! In any event, he abandoned the screen, springing to being on the Bridge once again. He stretched and arched his back, sighing with delight as his joints popped and cracked. His absurd relief disappeared at once as he whirled to loom over me.

“Hello-o-o-o-o!” He singsonged and ducked down suddenly to look at me snout-to-muzzle. “I’m Discord!” He disappeared in a flash as I took a reflexive swing at him! He reappeared a few feet beyond reach, grinning malevolently at me as I dropped into a fighting stance, daring him with my fists to come back.

“I’ve really missed playing with you Ponies, you know. Aliens aren’t nearly so much fun. They aren’t filled with the righteous self-delusions of goodness you Pony folk are. It makes them so dreadfully boring and predictable.” He lounged against the far wall and proceeded to file his nails with the crystal nonchalantly.

“Take those Klingons, for example…” He paused to peer closely at his claw tips. He buffed them against his chest for a moment and didn’t resume speaking until he had a chance to admire them. “Gullible as foals! For all their prattle about honor and tradition all they’re really interested in is loot and plunder. Why, the least little tale they hear about a wealthy star-faring race just ripe for the plucking was enough to send them off to the races. It was glorious! They were practically falling over each other to get in there first. A race of pure pirates! …If they were only half as organized as those Romulans you Ponies would be in real trouble!” He chuckled to himself, amused by some memory.

“The Romulans are true xenophobes, you know. All it took was for someone… “He coughed delicately into the fist that held the prism. “…To tell them there was a technologically advanced race right next door! They dropped their own petty squabbles so fast it would have made even you spin!” He flashed up next to me just long enough to give me a dig with one scaly elbow! “Why I daresay they became more unified than your silly Federation will ever be. You Ponies should be so proud of yourselves, inspiring another species like that! It makes me want to weep in admiration!” He wiped a phony tear from an eye then clasped his paw and claw together to regard us both with simpering adulation… just before he broke down into laughter again!

“You…” I struggled for the words, thunderstruck. “You… set the Romulans on us? And the Klingons?”

“D’ye ken how many lives your meddlin’ cost?” Sunny put in, outraged. “I was on one o’ th’ Hospital Ships…”

Discord silenced her with a single upraised claw!

“Oh, spare me your tiresome whining!” He snarled as his mood flipped. He would have said more but something caused him to look away to a point behind us.

“Well, well, well.” He purred “Finally!”

A bright burst of pink radiance filled the Bridge…

Chapter Thirty Seven- The Magic Prism

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN

THE MAGIC PRISM

The last time Tyllae pulled this trick on the bridge of the Hermes she was still under a foot tall. Then the door to her Other Side was open but a crack, this time she’d bucked it wide open!

The figure that stood wrapped in a coruscating cocoon of lambent pink fire stood as tall as the figure of Celestia in Discords’ vision, statuesque and almost terrifying in its eldritch beauty. Like Celestia, she stood on four legs but Tyllaes’ gem-hard hooves never touched the deck. Her coat, though it should have been washed out by the arcane aura that surrounded her, shone like luminous gold and her blazing pink mane rode her neck and back like a slow-motion bonfire fanned by a wind from another realm. Her antennae were like thin wisps of pink fire tipped with the gleaming hearts of rose-colored galaxies and her wings looked like twin nebulae swirled with all the shades of pink, stretching out to merge with the plasma-esque envelope that quivered around her. They beat slowly but no breeze reached us or disturbed either the balefire flames of the Gorn crew or the remnants of the fire suppression system. And yet, the scent of exotic, alien blooms from under ancient, mysterious trees stole across the Bridge. Faerie wings, it seems, tread the aether of old and not the mere air of mortals.

Her eyes were huge and black as obsidian, yet warm with silver highlights that I never noticed in her smaller, elfin form. Her brow was furrowed with determination as she appeared but her eyes flew wide in eloquent dismay and shock as she beheld the scene before her. I couldn’t see her ears but I did see her tail, like the flowing tail of a magical comet, droop as her eyes fell upon Stimbolts’ corpse.

Tyllae threw her head back and half-reared. A strange, echoing cry keened through the Bridge. Was it a song? Were there even words in it? To this day I can’t tell. The one fact that I do recall clearly was that this incarnation of Our Favorite Fey did not have a mouth… even though she did have a voice!

“Discord!” It was still Tyllaes’ voice even if it was deeper register, and it rang from everywhere as far as I could make out like the note of some enchanted carillon. “What hath thee done? Thou wert never Evil of Old! We are dismayed by what thou hath become!”

However Sunny and I felt, Discord was not cowed by the display. He stood up to his full, misshapen height at his end of the room and regarded the regal being at the other. The two of them made poles, positive at Tyllaes’ end and negative at his, the rest of the flotsam and jetsam of the Universe scattered between them.

“An occupational hazard!” He declared airily. “One can’t help but become tainted by hanging around creatures like these after a while! That’s why I’m so glad you came…”

“Didst thou think Our eyes were so blind, Base Lord of Chaos? We watch from a higher point and thy deeds and thoughts are plain to see from here. From what thou hath done in the past to what passeth through thy mind even at this moment, all is plain to Us.” Tyllae declaimed with the stamp of an eldritch hoof.

“Renounce thy mad scheming and make good what thou hath done. Restore the life thou hath wrongly taken and heal the mind of the unwilling tool of thy sickness! Thou must also undo the mischief thou hath done to one that We love. These things will be as unto a token of thy good faith and a surety of thy willingness to abide by thine ancient Compact again.” The Fey gestured with one hoof toward the crystal prism clutched in his grasp. “Thou must also destroy what thou hast made in thy arrogance and pain. It is not what thou wisheth it to be. It hath no love of thee and will work thy undoing.” Much of the sternness left her and both her voice and her eyes softened as she continued. “Verily, Discord, thou ailest in thy mind. Come, there is yet time to undo it if thou but taketh this first step toward healing. We may yet play together in the Other Realm in time could thee but do this thing. Leave off thy rage! Forget thy loss! Forsake thy sterile revenge! This Realm wast never meant for one such as thee. Let Us take thee Home and know peace once again. This Realm will forgive and forget thy works but its gratitude will be forever! Come, Discord, take a Faery by the hand for this Realm is more full of sorrow than thou canst understand.”

Tyllae reached out for Discord with one hoof, imploringly. The Lord of Chaos regarded it with uncharacteristic impassivity. He raised his head to look beyond Tyllae. Where we could only see the glowing nimbus of her power I could not help but to think Discord saw beyond her to the Other Side. He pondered the sight, his paw coming up to tug absently at his scraggly beard, his gaze thawing slowly and the lines smoothing from his unlovely face.

He took a step forward, his hoof quenching one of the balefire pyres on the deck. As he moved, the crystal flashed in his other hand and his eyes moved to look at it. He paused. He cocked his head toward it and he listened to something none of us could hear while Tyllae keened softly… sadly.

For Discords’ eyes left the Faery and focused on the crystal prism again. His features slowly twisted back into madness and his right eye developed a tic.

“I might have known…” He began slowly. “… I did know, didn’t I?” He spoke to the crystal for a moment. “That even you would end up corrupted by these Ponies. Well… you all come from the same place after all, don’t you? Must be something in the air there!” Something of his old swagger came back to him by then, though he refrained from his usual harebrained behavior in the presence of the Fey, it seemed. He pointed the crystal straight at Tyllae and continued.

“I like it here, Faery! I always did! You can keep your precious Other Realm. I don’t need it anymore. I have this!” He brandished the crystal on high and it flashed in a blaze of colors.

“What is that thing, anyway?” I ventured to ask. Sunny gave me a nudge with one wing and put a finger to her lips, but I wasn’t going to have it. Ok, I got that they were both incredibly old and in possession of powers and abilities we scarcely could conceive of. But they were both caught up in something that concerned the entire Pony race and its Friends. As far as I was concerned their business became our business and, by Luna, I wasn’t just going to sit off to the side at the Kiddies Table while the ‘adults’ talked!

“And,” I forged on. “While I’m thinking about it,” I turned to address the Fey. “…What the Hell, Tyllae?”

“It is as thee surmiseth, Starry-Eyes. We are on the Other Side now. We felt thy pain and thy fear. In defiance of Cappy Capers’ orders We came with all Our power to be at thy side in thy need. Though We fear that Cappy Caper may forbid Us dessert for at least a week for Our disobedience, We do not regret!” Her head came down to peer urgently at me as she added. “But if thee wouldst have words with Cappy Caper in Our behalf We wouldst be most grateful. We hath learned that Bob makest brownies tonight!”

I couldn’t help it, I laughed! It felt good, somehow, that even someone who dwelt… at least part of the time… in a Higher Realm could like brownies! I raised a hoof to touch her face and stopped short, unsure, at the surging aura around her.

“Starry.” Tyllae chided. “We hath snuggled in thy bosom countless times, what hast thee to fear of Our touch now?” She nuzzled my hoof tenderly and I stroked her face.

Sunny, being far less inhibited threw her arms around Tyllaes’ neck and hugged her. The Fey drew us both together under her wings as I followed suit. Sunny wept into her neck but I didn’t have the heart to touch her to comfort her. I hid my pain and screwed my eyes shut tight against the hot tears.

“Be not afraid, my Dear Ones! Though, even from where We stand, We cannot see how We believe… We hope… all will be well in the end. Much depends on Discord. Look upon him!” She urged. “Look upon him! Fear him and pity him for he is no longer his own master! He is a thrall to the thing he hath made in his madness, yet even now he could breaketh its chains could he but summon the strength to do so. Behold what he bears in his claw! Behold The Bane of Discord!” She pointed imperiously with an elegant hoof at what The Lord of Chaos clutched in his claw.

Discord looked annoyed at being upstaged. He had crossed his arms and tapped the Magic Prism against his shoulder in impatience.

“All done now?” He rolled his eyes. “Had our ‘touchy-feely’ moment, have we? Maybe you can have a tea party next. After all, you can always talk about the Most Powerful Magic Artifact Ever later! When it’s convenient for you, of course! Do take your time, do! I’ll just wait over here, shall I? Until you decide you have time for me, that is. Don’t worry! I’ll keep myself occupied somehow!”

With that, he snapped his fingers and Stimbolts corpse hung suspended in the air again. A blindfold appeared over Discords eyes as he limbered up the crystal like a ballbat.

“Piñata time!” He caroled then swung… and swung and swung and swung! Each time he swung his effort went astray though Stimbolt hung perfectly still. A frown creased his brow as he continued, growing more pronounced with each swing.

I growled and started forward, fully intending to yank that thing out of his hands to give him a few wallops with it somehow!

Sunny got in there first, though. Stimbolts corpse glowed with the magic of her horn and wafted back to where we stood in complete silence. Discord swung a few more times, his face lighting up with glee as the last swing passed straight through the spot vacated by the poor Middie with enough force to spin the old fiend around twice!

“Oh, now that’s just cheating!” He protesting, banishing his blindfold and glaring at his crystal accusingly.

“We’re no gwin’t’ sit by n’ let ye desecrate th’ poor Laddies body, ye bloody ghoul!” Sunny spat. “Now put th’ Lad t’ rights like Tyllae said… or is yon beyond yer over-rated power? ‘Lord o’ Chaos’, forsooth!”

Discord disappeared in a flash of blue, apparently with the intention of reappearing to loom over Sunny threateningly. Instead, his flashed into being halfway across the room from her and rebounded off some barrier unseen by either of us. He flailed and fell flat on his tail, both hands frantically securing the crystal! He scrambled to his feet in an instant and snarled at Tyllae who made a threatening gesture with one hoof.

“You think you’re sooo smart, don’t you? Well I couldn’t bring him back even if I wanted to! He’s somepony else’s problem now!” His face lit up in malevolent glee at the frown on Tyllae’s face. “What? The high-and-mighty Faery doesn’t understand? So much for your Higher vantage point! Things have Changed since you were gone, Tyllae. …And they’ll change even more soon!” He brandished the Magic Prism menacingly.

“‘Discords Bane’, indeed!” He snorted. “The Magic Prism is my greatest triumph! Long, long, long ago before we left your miserable dust-ball I made a promise to Celestia herself. I promised I would use my Power… for the most part… for ‘Good’”. He made a disgusted noise. “And I kept that promise for her sake, not for the sake of the Holier-than-Thou Celestia! …DON’T SAY HER NAME!” He suddenly thundered at Sunny, pointing the Prism at her like a sword! He brought himself under a semblance of control with an effort.

“Don’t any of you dare to sully her name by speaking it! And spare me your pathetic pity while you’re at it! I am Discord and I am beyond your feeble comprehension or your worthless sympathies!” He shook himself, stroking the crystal with his paw as he continued.

“Celestia never trusted me, not really. None of her friends did, either. I was under careful scrutiny all the time, my power carefully checked and monitored to see if I was ‘behaving’ myself.” As he spoke his eyes looked far away, focusing on something that happened long ago and far, far away.

“Fluttershy was put in charge of my ‘reform’. She believed in me! …She always did. She suggested to her high-and-mightiness that I might be happiest working with Celestia’s Academy of Magic and using my awesome power to help all of Equestria. Oh, I went along with it and it was so amusing to see what little those Ponies knew of Real Magic! They lapped it up, the least little crumbs of what I taught them. All those wise Unicorns and Zebra Shamans, feh! And yet even I was able to learn the odd nugget of insight from all those bumbling amateurs. Just goes to show you that even an idiot can get something right once in a while!”

I was going to point out to him who the ‘idiot’ really was, but I held my tongue. I glanced over to Sunny who had apparently had the same thought and we exchanged glances. Tyllae remained gravely silent.

“In the name of ‘research’ I was able to glean more bits of fascinating Arcane knowledge. There were leftover bits of Dark Magic scattered all over the globe, hidden away and almost forgotten except by a few pathetic individuals who were content to mutter their incantations in the dark and squander their knowledge for the sake of their petty, short-sighted dreams of Power. As if they would know True Power if they could see it!”

He fixed Tyllae with his mad eyes.

“There were still some Dark Faeries left, don’t you know? Oh, and the occasional Troll and a few things that fancied themselves to be Dark Gods as well.” He frowned at a memory. “That squid-faced chap showed real promise! Claimed he came from Somewhere Else, too, for all the good it did him. I was instrumental in ‘putting them down’, if you take my meaning. All in the name of Public Good and Equestrian Security, of course! But not until we got from them what we needed and certainly not before I got to have a little ‘fun’ with them. Oh, Celestia wasn’t entirely happy at my methods but she allowed herself to be outvoted by all my starry-eyed…” He tipped me a wink! “Co-workers! But even she couldn’t argue that we had done wonders. I helped turn deserts into orchards, swamps into croplands, tundra into forests. Powerful magic ‘untainted’…” He made sarcastic air quotes, the Prism tracing weird afterimages in the air as it moved. “By Chaos. But hidden in those dark secrets were hints of even more subtle and powerful magic. No, not mere magic…!” He checked himself and he leaned forward, his mad face intent. He’d been dying to tell this to somepony for literal ages!

“Pure, Primal POWER! What Ponies… and Faeries…” He sneered at Tyllae who only regarded him steadfastly. “Call Magic is only the safest edges of it. Can’t understand? I expected as much! Allow me to elucidate!”

The Discord the Ponytales were most familiar with reappeared as, with his trademark flash of magic, he appeared before us in a lab coat. A pocket protector jammed full of pencils, pens, and even a few elaborate quills bulged his breast pocket. Under the lab coat he wore a comfortable-looking and utterly incongruous maroon turtleneck shirt. He sported a thick head of hair of a chestnut hue, moderately long, that fell to the nape of his neck. A wave of it, obviously gelled in place, rode above his eyebrows in immobile serenity. When he spoke his voice took on a cultured, mellifluous tenor tone as he pointed to the blackboard he’d just conjured up with the Magic Prism.

On the board there was sketched a cartoon bonfire radiating heat and light. On the periphery of its influence were drawn tiny stick figures. Some of them wore robes adorned with stars and astrological signs, some wore skins and carried staffs, some wore tiny lab coats and brandished honest-to-Luna slide rules!

Closer to the flames other figures capered. Celestia-model Alicorns soared, spreading their wings to the blazing source of heat and light. Dragons orbited there as well, their sinuous necks craning this way and that. Closer in than that tiny figures played, the Faeries, among them… things… stalked and shambled and were seemingly held at bay somehow by their mere presence. One particularly disturbing figure held court in an orbit of its own just slightly closer in. Tentacles… I think… hid much of its face and the chalk itself mercifully glossed over the more hideous aspects of its being. I speculated as to what twisted love crafted a thing like that and wondered if this was the Dark God to who Discord so recently referred to…

With a smirk I noticed that the figure circling closest to the fire was none other than Discord himself! The egomaniacal son of a…

“The fire….” He began. “Represents The Power that lies at the heart of Everything. The source and engine of life, magic, and all versions of reality! And these figures represent the billyuns and billyuns of beings in the Cosmos who draw upon it to work Magic.”

I quirked a skeptical eyebrow at that statement, multiple dimensions had been postulated centuries ago but Science had never managed to definitely prove their existence.( The Vulcan Science Academy had ruled out their existence!) As of this Stardate they only exist in the minds of Arcane mystics and as mathematical models of the intricacies of Quantum Theory. I held my peace, not out of respect for the lecturer by any means, only in the hopes that he would have done with it quicker without questions-and-answers time.

“The Power grants its strength in proportion to a beings’ proximity to it. Naturally only the most Magically Powerful beings can dare approach it closely.” He coughed into his paw and rolled his eyes delicately as the talon holding the Prism tapped the cartoon Discord… erasing most of it. When he noticed that, he frowned and called an eraser into being that wiped it away. A conjured piece of chalk restored it. When he snapped his fingers to banish them they merged and changed into a trio of pink-and-yellow butterflies that fluttered up to hover just off his nose. The Great And Powerful Lord of Chaos recoiled from the sight and could only stare wild-eyed at them until they vanished of their own accord. He recovered fast enough, though the tic in his right eye grew worse…

“Heed thy own Portents, Discord, for all our sakes!” Tyllae caroled.

“Shut up! Shut UP!” Discord barked at her before turning his attention to the Prism. He shook it then peered at it closely with first one eye then the twitching other.

“…Don’t even think about going there again!” He growled to the Prism. “Do you hear me? Do you?” He shook the thing again before slipping smoothly back into his academic persona.

“As I was saying. Most beings can only bear to use the barest fraction of the power it provides, like these delicate and silly creatures who can only warm their hands at a distant fire they cannot approach without burning up. Some creatures are a little more tolerant of the blaze.” The Prism tapped the ring of Faeries and their kin while he gave a noncommittal nod to Tyllae who only looked on sadly.

“But even the most powerful of beings cannot approach the heart of the fire. Even I, Discord, could only stare into it from afar. It nearly drove us mad to…”

“Me.” I said, only too glad to interrupt him. “You should have said, ‘It nearly drove me mad.’”

“I said that!” He snapped pettishly.

“No, you didn’t.” I pointed out calmly. “You said ‘us’. How many bats do you rattling round in your belfry anyway?”

“You’re one to talk!” Discord sneered at me. “How’s the little Mare in your mind doing? Oops! I mean stallion!”

“D’ye ken th’ term ‘schizophrenia’, boyo?” Sunny helped me put more antimatter into the metaphorical reactor. “Th’ caramel’s a-slippin’ off yer apple for sure! Why d’ye no conjure up a wee couch n’ have a long talk about yer childhood wi’ yerself?”

“The Secret was there all the time!” Discord continued in thunderous tones, whacking the blackboard so hard with the Prism that it became crazed (Like its maker!) with ‘billyuns’ of shatter lines.

“In every spell, no matter how trivial…” He ranted. “Is an element of that Power, analogous to a quantum of that electromagnetic energy you wretched Ponies are so fond of!”

“Electricity is old news, Discord!” I put in, hurting secretly at the reference to the Mare in my Head who, for the sake of record, had been replaced with nopony at all! “Where have you been? Oops, that’s right! You were banished!”

“I WAS NOT BANISHED!” He roared! “I LEFT WITH THEM! I’VE BEEN WITH THEM ALL THIS TIME!” He struggled to compose himself, an effort that left him panting and clutching the Prism to his chest.

“Do you see how they are, Faery?” He spoke over our heads to Tyllae. “So unrepentant and disrespectful, they’ll drive you off your own world in time, you know.”

Tyllae spread her wings and her eyes blazed with eerie radiance as she pawed the air above the deck with one hoof. “We have another one to go to until they learn the lessons Our kind have already. In any event Thou art not one to speak of repentance and respect, Discord! Thou art not worthy…yet! Finish thy story. Tell them what We know now. Tell them from whence thy foul Magic Prism came!”

“Ahem!” Discord, flying straight and level once again, straightened is lab coat and ran a paw through his hair before resuming his rather nasal discourse again as the ruined blackboard joined the rest of the broken rubble in his mind. “As I was saying, I discovered that in every scrap of magic there resides the tiniest portion of the ash of that Primal Fire. Even as the sparks that fly from a mundane bonfire contain a bit of the fire itself so do the billyuns and billyuns of sparks of magic that propagate from the burning Heart of all Realities!” He stopped for a moment and buffed the Prism on the sleeve of his coat.

“Needless to say, I didn’t share this aspect of my research. No, no, no! Say what you will about the nature of my sanity but I wasn’t about to give mere Ponies access to such limitless power. Look what they did with mere atomic fission and balefire! Look at what Faerykind ultimately did with the Magic they loosed upon the world!”

I spoke up in anger as I say Tyllae flinch.

“And look what you’re doing!” I said. “Interstellar War is no joke. From where I stand you’re hardly any better than the beings you scorn. Sounds to me that you’re just afraid of competition, are you so petty that your life’s aspiration is to be the only Bully in the Dorm?” I was thunderstruck by a sudden thought.

“Good Luna! …You want to be worshipped, don’t you? ‘The Great God, Discord, Master of Magic’? Is that it, you….” I couldn’t find a word to sum it up better than, “You… Sap? Just because you enchanted a gem we’re all supposed to bend a knee to your genius?” I shook my head. “I’d point out that you are crazy beyond the dreams of madness, but you’re actions and words more than amply state my case. If you think for one instant…”

“Do you know…?” Discord cut me off and displayed the Prism to me. “How many beings it took to make this?” His mad, mad eyes reflected the highlights of the Prism.

“… What?” I whispered.

“Not just magic, but life itself contain the ashes of The Great Fire.” Discord purred. “All those creatures we searched the World for. First their Magic, then their very selves, all went into forming the nucleus of the Prism. And the Ponies I’d gathered ‘round me went along with it! I hardly had to convince them. Celestia’s Good Little Ponies decided it was for the best, in the name of Equestrian Security, of course. I could hardly believe it! They never knew how hard I laughed up my sleeves at them. So don’t prate to me about the Nobility of Ponies!” He said, scathingly before executing one of his patented personality flips.

“Aww!” He said sympathetically. “Don’t feel bad, Starry-Eyes! It wasn’t the only moral pitfall Ponies fell into. Surely a granddaughter, er, grandson of Khan would understand! Some things never change, don’t they?” He would have laid an arm across my shoulders, but Tyllae warded him off and his arm slid off the arcane barrier she interposed between us. He wandered away dropping his latest charade and standing before us in all his asymmetric glory.

“It was my link to the Great Fire!” He whirled to face us again. “The larger the Prism became the more of it I had access to. And it never gets tired or exhausted no matter I used it. What Unicorn or Alicorn could say that? It’s perfect! And…” He looked at us slyly. “Since it isn’t part of me not even Celestia could know of it! She could examine me all day and not detect the power I had at my command. I built it day by day right under her upturned nose and she never had a clue! It was hilarious!” He cackled and slapped his knee. I wanted sooo much to wipe that glee off his snout with something weighty!

“How many…?” Sunny’s voice faltered for a second. “How many… people did ye sacrifice t’ make th’ horrid thing?”

“Oh, I lost count long ago!” Discord said breezily. “Thousands definitely, probably hundreds of thousands…” He tapped his chin with the Prism thoughtfully. “Maybe even millions!” He frowned, concentrating. “Oh yes, definitely millions, now that I think about it. All of them in here! …Well just the part I needed, anyway!”

Sunny gagged and leaned against Tyllae who folded a prismatic wing around her. I reached out for her and she took me hoof and squeezed it desperately. If the horror we’d just heard served any purpose it brought me that much. New physiology or not, tears welled up in my eyes.

“Have you wondered yet why it takes the shape of a prism?” Discord asked us. “Of course you haven’t! Your minds are far too limited, aren’t they? Let’s take this one analogy at a time, shall we?” He flourished the Prism and held it flat in front of his face.

“What color is Reality?” he asked. “The light of The Great Fire is so powerful that it goes everywhere and everywhen. Realms seen and unseen, it reaches them all! Through the Prism I can see… and reach… them all!”

I was intrigued despite myself. “So, like a sufficiently hot fire produces everything from infrared to gamma rays… invisible to sight…the ‘Great Fire’ spawned multiple realities we can’t see? These realities are analogous to colors of a spectrum, is that what you’re saying?”

“Very good!” Discord beamed. “‘A’ for the day!” The gold star he’d intended to stick to my forehead slithered down the Faery shield instead, making him frown at Tyllae.

“I do wish you’d stop that! In my day Faeries were a lot more spontaneous and fun-loving. You’re no fun at all! I can see why Nightmare Moon put you away!”

“In Our day thou wert not evil. Oh, Discord, thou hath truly become a monster! It makes Us weep to see thee now, thou poor, wretched, unhappy child. Thou mayest yet redeem thyself. We beg thee to take the counsel We offer! Even in all thy pride and arrogance thou dost not truly comprehend the nature of the thing thou hast done. It hath blinded you and even now feeds thy madness. It serves thee not, Lord of Chaos. It cares naught for thee nor any other. The whispers thou hearest come from within thine own self, the deeds of thy Prism are but the stirrings of thine own twisted conscience. Take heed, Discord! Thou art not beyond redemption and forgiveness. Even now thou canst still come back. Honor the memory of thy Fluttershy and thy Celestia. How they would weep to see thee now!” Tyllae’s dark, dark eyes pleaded with the Monster before us.

Discord slowly froze. Only his eyes moved as they darted to the Faery upon whom they blazed with manic intensity. The light around him dimmed… or would it be more accurate to say that it fled from him?

In my life I’ve faced explosive decompression, cave-ins, radiation burns, war, and waking Sunny too early in the morning… but nothing filled me with so much instinctive dread as the sight of the Lord of Chaos descending into his wrath.

When he finally spoke it was in a low voice harder than dilithium, colder than the intergalactic abyss, and deadlier than a gamma-ray burster.

“That’s three times, isn’t it?” He slowly pivoted his head to fix the Fey with the full intensity of his gaze. Tyllae flinched back and pawed at the air, something like a low moan resonating in our ears…

“Well I refuse you three times!” He menaced her. “Now what?” He ground his teeth and growled. “I loved Celestia and she refused me… but I could live with that. I recognized that we were just too different. But Fluttershy was my friend and she loved me, she DID!” He let loose on that last word. He didn’t shout… he screamed so loud they must have heard it on Romulus! Our clothing shook and we stopped up our ears while Tyllae winced and braced herself.

Discord advanced on Tyllae. He snapped his fingers and something tiny suddenly glinted in his paw. I couldn’t make it out but whatever it was it made the Faerys’ eyes widen in alarm.

The Prism glinted coldly and he just walked through the Magic Tyllae summoned to keep him away. Sunny stepped in front of Tyllae and tried to shield her. I was not so passively inclined! I slipped under and gave him a solid right to the guts that would have dropped a Capellan Power Cat or a squad of berserk Klingons.

It was like punching a starship! I definitely broke fingers and maybe my wrist. I paid it no mind and swiveled my body to give him a kick but I never got the chance. The Prism twitched and batted me aside like a rag doll. As I flew away I caught a panicked glance of Sunny lowering her head to menace Discord with her horn!

Whatever he did to her I missed as I hit and rolled. When I wrenched my head back up I saw her senseless on the deck, her mane and wings disarrayed and disheveled. I surged to my hooves with every intent of charging straight into him. I may be an Augment, the heir of unnatural selection, but I was an Earth Pony, damnit! I wasn’t going to give up as long as I was breathing! Yet I froze in surprise when I saw what Discord held in his paw. It was a pin. A pin! Did he think he was going to pop a balloon?

But Tyllae never took her eyes off it. She held her ground, though, and even managed to look calm as he threatened her with it. She watched him intently, waiting.

Discord raised his paw and paused. He caught the Faerys’ eyes. “I told you, nopony mentions her name.”

As he struck, Tyllae changed her form. A Pink and Yellow Pony with three butterflies on her flank looked steadfastly into his mad eyes.

“Thou. Wert. Never. Her. Friend. She hatest thee!”

It was too late to recall the blow, or maybe the Prism drove the pin into her shoulder. Tyllae shrieked and keened a wailing cry as she fell to the deck. Discord, his face a mask of despair and shock, howled in dismay.

Pink radiance filled my eyes and it all went away…

Author's Note

-Enter Starry-Eyes, stepping up to the Author at his computer and clearing her throat for attention.
AUTHOR: Yes?
STARRY: We've been talking together backstage and we've been meaning to ask you about all these screwy, obscure references you see fit to toss in...
AUTHOR: And...?
STARRY: Sunny's been a big help in explaining them and we can usually thrash then out given enough time. But 'Squid Face' here...*She produces a padd and highlights the part of the scrip* ...is a complete mystery to all of us. Just who in the name of Luna is this guy?
AUTHOR: Cthulhu!
STARRY: Gesundheit! *She pauses* Well...?
AUTHOR: Well what?
STARRY: Who's the Squid?
AUTHOR: Cthulhu!
STARRY: Do you need a tissue or something...?

Chapter Thirty Eight- From the mouths of Zebras and Vulcans...

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

FROM THE MOUTHS OF ZEBRAS AND VULCANS…

...Pink radiance faded from my eyes and I blinked at the light panel in the ceiling above our bed. Something tiny and screaming in Tyllaes’ elfin voice thumped down onto my chest. My right hoof did some non-verbal screaming of its own as I scramble to catch her!

I hissed in pain and surged into a sitting position, cradling the writhing form to me as Sunny, in a flurry of hooves and wings, flailed her way upright. I turned partway to the side, shielding the screaming Fey from her windmilling wings and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I would have stood but for the presence of Stimbolts’ body stretched out on the deck…

“Get it out, get it out, get it oouutttt!!!” Tyllae shrieked and sobbed, almost convulsing in her frantic agony. I crossed my legs and laid her on my leg, trying to steady her against my already swelling right hoof as I tried to see just what was wrong.

Sunny hit the deck on the opposite side with a muffled thud having stumbled over, as I later learned, Dazzles’ unconscious form. She scrambled to her hooves and circled ‘round the foot of the bed.

“Wait!” She cautioned urgently. “See where ‘tis! If it’s in her lung ye’ll decompress it fer sure if ye take it out!”

I did my best to look the writhing little form over. The pin was two-thirds of its length into her left shoulder on the chest side. Discord… or the Prism… had been aiming at her heart and may or may not have made it. There was no blood in her mouth and I took that as a good a sign as I could hope for under the circumstances. I noticed with a shock that the skin and fur around the pin looked charred and singed! A tiny curl of smoke rose from the wound.

“We’ve got to get it out and now!” I held Sunnys’ eyes with mine. “It’s killing her just being there!”

Tyllae was weakening as we watched. Her wound aside, that teleportation spell had to have taken a lot out of her. Her writhing began to subside into a horrible prelude to the final relaxation of death while her cried had softened to mere breathless sobbing.

“Take it out! Take it out! Take it out! Pleeeaaassee! Hurts, hurts, hurts sooo bad!” The little Fey moaned, her tears burning my wounded hoof.

“Hush ye now, Tyllae Dear!” Sunny crooned to her. “We’re here, Darlin’! Hang on n’ be a brave, wee elf!” She shot a glance at me.

“Right! Try n’ hold her still. ‘Tis now ‘r never!” With that, her horn fired up and a nimbus of pearly white formed around the pin impaling the poor Fey. As I held the weakly struggling form as tenderly as I could, it slid straight out and back until it came free. Sunny flung it to the floor as Tyllae’s body arched and quivered. She gave forth a long, quavering wail and collapsed into a twitching heap unconscious at last.

Tyllaes’ form became englobed in shimmering white magic, the aura rippling with layered healing and life-support spells as Sunny wafted her into her own hooves.

“I’ve got t’ get her t’ Sickbay! Will ye no let them know I’m on th’ way?” She gathered up the wounded Fey and held her close, her lovely eyes tragic and troubled. They came up and looked into my own and we both held our breaths.

“Oh, Starry! I’m so sorry…” She paused, trying to find the words. I wanted to kiss her so much, but I stayed rock-still.

She came to me, instead, leaning in quickly and pausing only for a second before our lips met. Whatever physical changes were wrought between us, it was good to know our heart of hearts were the same. I hugged her with my good arm as we kissed, tears coming to both our eyes. As she stood I gave her a swat on her bottom as well as the most heartfelt, grateful smile of my life!

“Come on, we’ve got work to do!” I said, more hoarsely than I intended. “Hubba-hubba one time! Time and tritium and all that!”

“Bugger yer tritium!” She blinked away tender tears with a wink. “N’ I’ve got yer bloody ‘hubba-hubba’ right here!” Her lovely tail came up and flicked me on the cheek before she sprang away, crowding the door until it opened and allowed her to hurry away.

I twisted my torso and thumped the comm panel next to the bed.

“Priority message for Sickbay!”

“Sickbay here.” Doctor Willowbark replied at once.

“Doctor Solar Cross is on her way with one critically wounded. Tyllae has been injured. We need a Medical Team to deck three, cabin seven. One wounded, one unconscious… and one dead.” My eyes fell upon the calm face of poor Stimbolt.

“We’re on our way!” Willowbark said briskly, then, “Who are you, Crewpony? I don’t… quite… recognize your voice.”

“This is Commander Starry-Eyes, Doctor, and I need help now!” I said wearily, then added. “You’ll get the details soon enough. Just hurry!”

“Acknowledged. Sickbay out.” …If he thought my readings were weird before, I couldn’t wait to see his face when he got here!

I tabbed the comm again. “Captain Caper on the Bridge.” I told the duotronic paging system and winced as my hoof, tired of being ignored, stabbed me mercilessly.

“Bridge ‘ere!” Merry spoke up. “Whatcher need, Mate?”

“Merry! It’s me! We’re back onboard.” I decided against telling her about Stimbolt yet. “I need to talk to Caper. We’ve got to break orbit while we have the chance!”

“…’Oo the ‘Ell is this? Look, choom, clear t’ line and sleep it off!” She made a disgusted noise and continued in what passes for a whisper for her. “If ya can’t ‘old yer likker, save it fer those of us ‘oo can! Bloody snot-nosed…”

“Damnit, Merry! It’s Starry! Also known as your Commander!” The pain put extra urgency and grumpiness into my voice. “Put Caper on the line now!”

But Merry wasn’t having any of it. “Roight! An Oy’m lil’ ol’ Tilly ‘erself! Yup, yup, yup! Now piss off an sober up!” In my minds eye I could see her reaching for the disconnect.

“If you switch off,” I said hastily. “I’m gonna get on the public address system and tell everypony about what really happened at Altair Station between you and that young ‘buck’!”

I heard a gasp and a gulp at the other end. When Merry spoke again it was in a very low whisper indeed!

“Oy was drunk an she was all done up loik a bleedin’ retro rock singer, she was! She set me up, she did! …Starry? Wot t’ ‘Ell?”

“Caper. Landing Party Report. Now!” I ground out, laying my broken hoof onto the bed with a hiss.

“Roight! Boss Feller in two! … An a winks as good as a nod t’ a bloind bat, roight?”

“My lips are sealed! Now move it!”

The signal went on ‘hold’ for a second before Caper came on-line.

“Starry! Where are you? What is status of Landing Party?”

I gulped and offered a little prayer. “Dazzle is unconscious but in good health, Sunny’s on her way to Sickbay with Tyllae who may or may not make it. I’ve got a broken right hoof. …And Stimbolt’s dead, Caper. I’m sorry. … Look, we have to break orbit! Discord is down there and there’s no telling…”

“You… are Commander Starry-Eyes? Please to understand that I have hard time believing that, da?” He sounded distracted and I feared the worst. I could just see him making hand signs for Security… not that I wouldn’t have done the same thing in his place!

I sighed and tried to remain calm. “Look, Caper, I’ve seen him face to face! He did… insane things to us! He’s real, he’s down there and he’s a couple loop-the-loops short of an Air Show! Tyllae bought us some time maybe at the cost of her life. We’ve got to move off and figure out what to do next before he pulls his pieces back together!”

“Is so?” Caper’s voice was mild but terrifyingly intense. “And where do you suggest we go? Back to Federation Headquarters, maybe? Where is rest of Landing Party…Starry-bubula?”

The damning thing was, I could really empathize with the Old Pegasus! Given the nature of the foe we faced he had every right to be suspicious. I wondered how trusting I would be in his horseshoes…?

I rose to the bait. “What happened to ‘Starry-pushka’? Or did I get demoted? Tyllae disobeyed your orders when she felt us in danger. She was too late to save Stimbolt. Discord attacked her. Her last act was to bring us back to the Hermes, to our cabin. She felt safest here, I guess. Dazzle is with me… and Stimbolt. Sunny took Tyllae to Sickbay. I don’t know if she can save her. Look, she’s probably already there. Call her and see what she has to say about it all. But in the meantime I strongly suggest that we get the ship out of here. This is the first place he’s gonna look when and even if he comes back to his senses and I’d rather we were somewhere else!”

There was a long silence from the comm panel. I was just on the verge of saying something more desperate when the screen on our terminal lit up, the visual pickup enabled.

Caper peered out from it and his eyes widened fractionally as he focused on me. It would hurt too much to move closer so I stayed where I was on the bed; my legs arranged straddling the corpse at my hooves.

Caper took in the scene, his eyes flicking to Dazzle and lingering for a long second on Stimbolt before returning to me. He was looking at me from the visual information screen above Merrys’ station. As he weighed what he saw I saw Merry peek around his body. She froze and blinked.

“Croike!”

Without taking his eyes off me, Caper reached behind himself and rapped her on the top of her head with one knuckle! She squawked and ducked out of the picture. I couldn’t help but grin… it took my mind off the pain in my hoof!

Caper rubbed his chin slowly and grunted.

“Medical Team will be there soon. You will wait there until escort arrives to take you to Brig. If you are who you say you are I will apologize, am nothing if not magnanimous Pony, da? If you are not…” His eyes bored into my own. “You will have much to answer for.” He finished darkly.

“Damnit, Caper!” I spoke quickly. “We don’t have time for Rushin paranoia…!” but the screen went dark even as I spoke.

I paused and shut my eyes, using my Augment disciplines to calm my emotions and block the stabbing, throbbing pain in my hoof. I sprang up after a moment made for the door… it didn’t open.

I didn’t waste time seething, instead, I made my way to the terminal and accessed the computer. I’ve got an A-5 rating on the new systems, the only other Pony on this ship as good was Jerry and he no doubt had his hooves full still with keeping the ship running. It took me almost a minute to override the Security protocols. As the door slid open I ran for them!

I made it into the hallway and was on my way to the nearest access ladder, the turbolift was out of the question, when the klaxon began sounding.

“Intruder Alert, Deck Three. Officer’s Quarters! Security seal off deck three! Intruder wearing Commanders’ uniform is attempting escape.” Capers voice rang throughout the ship. “Use whatever force is necessary to subdue!”

I rounded a corner and there, halfway between me and the ladder I was making for, stood Willowbark and two nurses with antigrav gurneys each with a small pile of supplies. They dithered, caught by surprise at the Security Alert. I decided to bull my way through, I dog-trotted for the ladder as if I had every right to go there. I tried not to favor my bad hoof as I moved.

“You guys better get to your stations!” I winked, trying very much to look like an old pro to the newer faces. “There’s an Alert on!”

The nurses gave me barely a glance and were nervous enough they’d already begun swinging their inertialess burdens back toward the turbolift as soon as they heard me. Willowbark though, zeroed right in on my broken hoof. Doctors are made that way, I guess.

“Good grief! What happened to you? Hold on, this will take just a moment! Just lay your hoof down here and we’ll have a look…”

He guided my hoof down onto a gurney and broke an imager out of the medical pack, unrolling the parchment-like synthetic and holding it over my damaged extremity. Just before he activated it, his gaze took in my uniform.

“Crewpony… are you wearing a blouse?”

I broke out into a sweat, not so much because of Willowbark as the sounds of booted hooves hurrying up the way I’d just come!

“Eh, heh, heh, heh…” I stammered. “Damn replicators! Nothing’s worked right since the computer screw-up! Look, Doc, I’ve got to get to my station but I’ll come by to see you as soon as the alert is over. You know what a prick the XO can be about these things!” I added from behind my good hoof.
Willowbark quirked one of his crooked grins. “Well she has a lot more on her plate than the rest of us, now doesn’t she? If she gives you any grief ask her to see me and I’ll vouch for you. I can even write you…” His voice trailed off and he peered at me closely.

“… Didn’t I just speak with you on the intercom?”

The booted hooves rounded the corner behind me. I turned my head just far enough to see the red uniforms of Little Rock himself and one of his Security Mares, a red-and-brown Filly named Habanera. Both had phased-balefire pistols in their hooves as they skidded to a halt, covering me from two angles.

“You…!” Little Rock’s gun stared at me, locked on a point right between me eyes. He didn’t shout, he never has to, his tone of voice alone is enough. “Freeze.” He suggested. “The rest of you move away now!” His cool eyes had already sized me up as he thumbed the safety off his weapon.

Willowbark and his ponies scurried away, halfway to the turbolift in an instant! Little Rock’s reputation had preceded him, no doubt.

“Little Rock, it’s me! Starry! I’ve got to see Caper. We’ve got to get out of this area at once…”

“All you’ve got to do is put your hooves behind your neck, get on your knees, and be quiet.” He said in a reasonable voice, his gun never leaving my head. Even a standard stun shot at this range directly to the head could have devastating consequences that no magic or medical science could overcome. I began easing my hooves up, being careful of the injured one.

“I know how it looks.” I strove to keep my own voice calm and reasonable. “We ran into Discord down on the planet. Discord! He’s real, Little Rock! He changed me into Luna-be-damned buck as one of his twisted jokes…”

“You can keep quiet voluntarily or I’ll do it for you.” He stepped forward one pace, increasing his chance of a direct hit from one hundred percent to about one hundred and seventy-five percent. He’s that good… and he’s all business!

His eyes never left me and his finger took up the slack on the firing stud. “Doctor Willowbark? Use your tricorder…from where you’re standing… and get me a reading. What am I looking at? One of you others get to a comm panel and advise Security we’ve got the Intruder and we may need back-up… or a cleanup crew. Move it!”

I didn’t dare turn my head toward Willowbark as I heard the wavering whistle of his Medical tricorder. The fact that he was willing to give me a scan gave me hope. I eased myself to my knees.

“Rocky, we’ve got to get the ship out of here! Every second we stay here gives…”

“On your knees and conscious or flat on your face brain-scrambled, it’s your call.” His eye, over the sight of his pistol, betrayed no emotion whatsoever. “I’ll let you know when you can talk."

Willowbark cleared his throat quietly. “Ahem.” He displayed the Feinberger pickup he held in his hoof, the salt-shaker like device that passed information to his tricorder. “I’m showing readings for a male Equestrin equivalent to a twenty-four year old Terran Earth Pony. Extensively Augmented, of course.” He added.

“What’s more this individual, aside from having three broken fingers on the right hoof as well as a fractured wrist, shows signs of recent damage to the lower ribs on the right side as well as indications of regenerated tissue and nerve damage to the thigh. The damage is exactly where I operated. I recognize my own work.” He eyed me up and down clinically. “I’m at a loss to explain the, um, glandular differences but for my money that is Commander Starry-Eyes. And, if the K1 and K2 readings are any indication, he’s in extreme pain from his injuries and needs treatment.” He re-packed his tricorder and picked up a medical bag from the antigrav and waited expectantly.

“Is that so?” Little Rock regarded me over his gun sight, then, “What’s Starry-Eyes middle name?”

I cocked an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t have a middle name, Rocky… and neither do you.”

Neither his eyes nor the gun wavered. “When are you going to pay me that twenty-five credits from the poker game last week?”

I blinked! “You owe me fifty credits from playing dominoes, you fink! Don’t try to weasel out of it now!”

He considered me thoughtfully before thumbing the safety on his weapon.

“Damn.” He said quietly. Then, to Willowbark, “Patch her… him up, Doc, quick.” He drew his communicator from behind him and flipped the lid up. “We need to see the Captain!”

* * *

I fidgeted with the light splint and the bandages that bound my hoof. Willowbark used what Magic he could to heal me but there is a strong anti-magic bias in Equestrin physiology, as he discovered, and he was no Tyllae. I contemplated my numb extremity and wondered if the little Fey was still alive as I sat at the table in the Briefing Room. I heard the announcement go out over the ships public address system.

“All decks secure from Intruder Alert. Secure for Time Warp Drive!”

I counted the Warp transitions. The fifth, and last, one was more pronounced in that characteristic way the Hermes had. One hundred and twenty-five ‘c’, one light year in two days, twenty-three hours and twelve minutes, a pretty fair clip… I hoped it would be enough.

I know I’d felt worse before… I just couldn’t remember when! I was sore, exhausted, and felt lower than the grit under a maglev bed. Whenever I shut my eyes I could still hear little Tyllaes’ scream and see that last, desperate appeal on Stimbolts’ face as the phased-balefire gun centered on his chest. I’d lost Ponies under my command before but that had been during a War, not the result of mean, petty sadism on the part of an insane wannabe god. It was so pointless… I’d never been so helpless in regards to doing something about it before and that’s what hurt the most. I’d been made into a freak, my Love recoiled from my touch, an innocent young buck had been killed, the little Fey that occupied such a large part of our hearts had been wounded, perhaps fatally, and all I could do amounted to nothing!

Alone and in the privacy of the Briefing Room I slumped until my forehead rested on the table. I shut my eyes and let the nightmares come out to play. I squeezed my eyes shut against the sudden tears; it was actually easier to do in this new form. So this was what it was like to be a stallion. I felt dirty and wanted a shower and some clothes that fit my new anatomy. I also wanted to punch something or someone… preferably someone with one deer antler and one goat horn over his smirking, loopy face. Whoop-dee-do.

I wanted to cry and I just couldn’t… and that was the worst of it all.

The door whooshed open and I slowly sat up as Caper came in. The old Pegasus looked at me gravely as he took his place at the head of the table next to me.

“Caper! How’s Tyllae? Did she make it?”

The Captain did not meet my eyes. “Others are coming soon.” He grunted. “I wanted to see you first. To say how sorry I am for what happened to you… and Stimbolt.” He met my gaze finally. “Of Leetle Pooka I do not know. Good Doctor is working very hard. We must hope for best, da?” He said softly.

I smirked bitterly. “You should have seen her, Caper. She wasn’t so ‘leetle’ when she came for us! She was all the way on the Other Side… and it wasn’t enough. He was just toying with us. When he made his move he just walked right through her Magic to get her and there wasn’t thing one we could do to stop him!” I paused to rub my face with my good hoof, my heart swelling fit to take my breath away. I managed a weak smile. “She was afraid you would be mad at her for disobeying you and leaving the Ship. I told her I’d put in a good word to you on her behalf.”

Caper grunted again, then smiled a tight, terse smile.

“Defiance of direct order is serious offense.” He nodded sagely. “Is in my mind to sentence leetle mutineer to eat Captain’s desserts for rest of voyage…after I hang medal on her, of course… even if posthumously.” He fell silent and chewed the inside of his lip for a while.

“She brought all of you home. That is what is important, Starry-pushka. I am in debt to Leetle Pooka for that.”

“Not all of us, Caper.” I reminded him quietly. “Stimbolt only came home in body and poor Dazzle may never be the same. I led them into a damn ambush. I should have gone by myself.”

Caper growled an obscenity. “Fooey that, Commander.” He fixed me with a bushy gray eye. “I gave order for Landing Party, is my responsibility.” His eyes flashed. “You want to play blame game? Whose fault is? Real Admiral Quicksilver, Galaxy Exploration Command, Federation President? Every Pony in Starfleet knows risk when they put on pretty shirt. Stimbolt and Dazzle both adults. Do not demean them by implying they were mindless robots! Please to stop engaging in endless game of ‘what if’!” He thumped the fingers of one hoof on the table, hard, then collected himself.

“Is very old Rushin proverb, Starry-pushka, which tells us there are two paramount rules of Command.” He ticked the points off on his fingers. “Number one is that Young Ponies die. Number two is that Officers cannot change rule number one. Is not fair, is not right… but is way things are until day comes when Starfleet is no longer needed and everything is all cutesy sweetness and light throughout entire Galaxy.” He shrugged in trademark Rushin fatalism. “Is better that we few wrestle with these problems out here so that loved ones back Home do not have to, nyet?”

“So Stimbolt is just the latest in a never ending series of Equine sacrifices on the altar of Peace for the sake of the Federation?” I fixed the old Pegasus with an angry glare. “That stinks in stasis, Caper! Haven’t we gone beyond trading lives for security? I can’t accept that. It’s the Twenty-bucking-Third Century already!”

“For us it is.” Caper retorted quietly. “Rest of Galaxy still lives in Paleopony Period, though. Federation is best bet to bring order and peace to vast majority of sentients, not just Ponies. In words of Pinkemenea of Sainted Memory, ‘Must care, must share!’.” He laid one arm flat on the table and regarded me levelly. “Is rough job, da? Too rough for just anypony. You don’t like it, hokay…then quit. Go home! Dig rocks, drink cider, pick flowers and dance naked under Moon if is what Starry-Eyes really wants. Let somepony else make hard decisions in places nopony ever hears of. Federation will go on without you… or me, for that matter. Is still free society! You’ve got better plan? Would love to hear it! Give up if is too much for delicate sensibilities. Choice is yours… because Ponies like Stimbolt die in lonely, dark places. Make choice! Stimbolt and thousands of others before him will not judge. They served so that you could have that right. Go back or go on.” He paused to eye me shrewdly as my pride was stung by masterful hooves.

The grief didn’t drop away any more than did the frustration and anger. There was never any chance that I was going to give up my commission, as if an Augment could be swayed by two-bit pop psychology! I slid the emotions into powerpacks like ammunition kept hot and ready to use when the right target presented itself. I owed Stimbolt that much.
There’s one thing you learn in the mines of Equestris, the Colony as a whole is bigger than any one Pony… but you dig for the sake of your shaftmates. Ship or mine shaft, it makes no difference. We all of us are here to do a job we signed on for in good faith and it behooves us to do our best and Get The Job Done. Earth Pony thinking… but good thinking nonetheless! Grieve later, work now!

I would be lying if I denied I was thirsting for some bit of vengeance for the sake of a young Pony killed before his time. I might be tempted to rationalize it as a need to see Justice done… but how do you impose your law upon someone who has none? By force? In the end might does not make right no matter the motivation. How would we be better than Discord if we simply sought to kill him… assuming he could be killed, that is! No, Discord had to be brought to see reason. Tyllae seemed to believe he could be and she was in a better position to understand the Lord of Chaos than any of us. …I wished we had her guidance just then!

I chambered a round of Faery-dedicated power into my metaphorical gun. If the Mare in my Head was still around she would have written ‘To Discord with Love’ on it. I raised an eyebrow wearily at the Captain who waited patiently.

“Laying it on kinda thick, aren’t you?”

“All the better to penetrate thick Equestrin skull, da?” He smiled grimly. “Must admit was effective, nyet?”

“Yeah.” I admitted, rubbing my face with my good hoof. “I’m with you, Caper. We’ve got a job to do and this isn’t helping.” I squared my shoulders and sat up a little straighter.

“Da. We never forget but we grieve later… when we have time.” Caper nodded and reached to pat my hoof. He changed his mind halfway there and clapped me on the shoulder instead… like he would a stallion!

I quirked an eyebrow at him and he shrugged. “New you takes leetle getting used to. So send me to Gulag!”

The entry buzzer sounded for attention once… twice!

“You locked the door?” I cocked my eyes at Caper.

“I wanted few moments alone before Dog and Pony show begins. Captain to Commander, eh? For reasons that are now moot, da? Am nothing if not considerate Captain!” He smiled winningly at me.

“You’re a real Prince among Pegesai!” I said sarcastically, and then became serious. “Thanks, though, for giving me a few moments to… collect myself.”

“Da, da!”He flapped a hoof dismissively as he rose and headed for the door. He paused and turned back just before he got there. “You want minute to fix mane, maybe put on make-up?” he gave me a slow wink with a twinkling eye.

“Get back here before there are any witnesses, you old Pirate! I’ll tie your wings in a granny-knot!”

“Is good to see you retain trademark sense of humor! Welcome back, Starry-pushka!” He waggled his eyebrows at me before composing himself and unlocking the door.

Bors crowded in at once… he’d been the one buzzing the door… followed by the grave Mr. Sekkack. This being nearly the end of the second Watch, Jerry, Evee, Guiding Star, Little Rock and Merry filed in behind them. Instead of Sunny, though, Doctor Willowbark came in last behind Xantippe and her ever-laden tray.

The Rumor Mill had been grinding away, apparently at Warp Speed, since our unorthodox arrival. The hushed buzz of conversation ended as the door opened and Everypony hurried to find a seat. I was the subject of a series of stares, some covert, others more blatant as Xantippe deposited her cargo of coffee, tea, and some snacks on the table before taking up her place behind the Captain. As she passed me she paused to lay a hoof on my shoulder, her enormous eyes brimming with sympathy. I reached up to pat her hoof and gave her a smile I didn’t feel.

“Fillies and Gentlecolts,” Caper took his accustomed seat, as well as a cup of coffee. “As you already know our Landing Party has returned under most unfortunate circumstances. We will now hear report from Commander Starry-Eyes.” He took a sip then nodded to the Doctor. “Doctor Willowbark will confirm that this is indeed our Good Commander despite indications to otherwise.”

Willowbark coolly took in the stares directed at him before speaking up. He cleared his throat.

“I’ve had the opportunity to run some scans on the Commander. My readings are an exact match with those I made during recent surgical procedures I performed. Brain activity patterns, Kirlian fields, and synaptic responses all correlate. Aside from the unaccountable dominance of the ‘y’ chromosome this is Commander Starry-Eyes. This is not a clone or some sort of synthetic lifeform, I’d stake my Degree on that statement.”Willowbark looked out at the audience with an air of defiance.

Little Rock spoke up while everypony and every alien stared openly at me.

“I just want to add that I had the chance to talk to this, um, individual. He knows things only the Commander would know, personal stuff. For my money, it’s Starry.” He smiled tersely at me.

“Thanks, Rocky.” The crowd started at my new, deeper, voice. “… But you still owe me those credits!”

Merry slapped Jerry on the shoulder hard enough to make him wince. “Told ya so! Good job ya didn’t take the bet, eh? Eh?”

Bors studied me closely for long moments. “Until I hear from Doctor Cross and Tyllae I will refrain from making a decision. Speaking of whom, where are they? You’ve been very close-mouthed on that subject, Dr. Willowbark. Why aren’t they here at this briefing?” He squinted his piggy eyes accusingly.

Willowbark had never gotten on the pro-Bogan bandwagon. His gaze, as he locked it with the truculent Tellarite, became several degrees cooler.

“I chose not to say anything in the hallway because I thought the Captain had the right to hear this firsthoof. He is the Commanding Officer, you know. This is a Starship, not a High School!”

“Is stipulated to, Doctor.” Caper rumbled. “Your discretion is appreciated. Now please to tell what you have heard from Good Doctor Cross.”

Willowbark nodded deferentially to Caper. “The best of the news is that Chief Dazzle is sedated. She began coming out of the anesthesia spell put on her earlier and was quite… agitated… for reasons that the Commander will relate shortly.” He paused and folded his hooves together on the table. “I wasn’t there when Tyllae was brought in, though I was able to check in prior to coming here. I was on my way to the Commander’s quarters in response to her… his call.” He darted me an apologetic glance. “Tyllae’s condition is critical and almost certainly fatal, I’m sorry to say. The trauma from the physical injury was severe though not irreparable with modern medical techniques. The greatest threat lay in the fact that the weapon involved came within a centimeter of her heart and missed a lung by half that distance. In anypony else’s case she’d be on her way to a full recovery… however…” He squared his jaw and looked up into everyone’s eyes. “There are complications. Doctor Cross indicated that whatever was happening was akin to a massive toxic reaction as if she had absorbed enough systemic poison to kill a full-size Pony. When I left her organs were failing. Doctor Cross was utilizing every life-support and chelating spell in our arcanopharmacopia and was being assisted by two other Doctors and the Nursing Staff. Doctor Cross, uh, advised me that I would not be needed and was delegated to attend this briefing. I’m sorry, everypony, but Tyllae is probably dead even as we speak.”

Willowbark has a cold personality. He is very professional, if almost callously detached. I can certainly attest to his surgical skills but it had to be admitted he is not the most personable Pony. I was privileged to gain an insight into his personality and this gave me the ability to look under his façade and see the pain there as he spoke.

“I’m so, so sorry.” He finished quietly. “She will be missed.” Willowbark sat back, wooden-faced as a Vulcan.

The rest of the table sat, stunned. Caper frowned direly, Rocky’s eyes hardened. Evee shut hers against the tears as she gasped and Star put an arm around her. Sekkack’s face remained unperturbed, though his gaze seemed to turn inward. Jerry dropped his eyes to the table, looking troubled while Bors’ face fell. All by herself behind the Captain, Xantippe closed her eyes and clutched her amulet, mouthing silent prayers.

“Wot the ‘Ell?” Merry, more angry than sad at the moment, exclaimed. “Oy saw ol’ Tilly shrug off ‘em Klingon disrupter shots loik nuthin’! An she took out a Klingon warrior a hundred times ‘er soize with just one hit! ‘Ow could any-bloody-pony lay a ‘oof on er?”

“It was a pin.” I said flatly. “Discord stuck her with a pin.”

Merry stared incredulously for a moment. “Get outa ‘ere! A bleedin’ pin? …Loike she was a bloody balloon animal?”

“Ancient legends have much to say of the effects of iron on the Fey. A Faerie’s life and Magic would be undone by a steel pins prick.” Xantippe murmured quietly.

I dredged up a memory of Tyllae on the Bridge. “… She got upset when that Klingon tried to get her with that steel sword. Turns out she had good reason, didn’t she?”

“Discord, eh?” Merry cracked her knuckles suggestively. “Bloody wanker’s got sumpin’ comin’! Lemme git ‘old of ‘im! Oy’ll run a bloody railroad spoike right up ‘is…”

“He’s not a Faery.” I cut her off. “He’s… something else entirely different. Something from another reality… and he isn’t very susceptible to physical assault.” I displayed my bandaged hoof to her.

“You have actually seen him, then?” Sekkack looked at me curiously. “You are convinced that this creature is the Discord of Equestrian legend?”

“I didn’t have the luxury of running detailed tests on him.” I gave the Vulcan a wry look. “But he certainly fits the profile!”

“Then, logically, if this is the same being we need to emulate the strategies that foiled him in the past by taking advantage of his behavior patterns.” The Vulcan suggested patiently. “From my research I’ve noticed that, while he is a bizarre, random personality he can be dealt with.”

“There’ve been some changes in the ensuing millennia.” I said grimly, then launched into an account of our Landing Party, the Gorn, their ship and the advent of the Lord of Chaos and his descent into madness. I spared them nothing concerning the cruelties played upon any of us. To this day I don’t know how I kept my composure relating the execution of Stimbolt, remembering that look of horrible awareness in Dazzle’s face in that last second as she pulled the trigger. I told them how Tyllae came and spurned Discords’ advances and his terrible revenge afterwards.
“Tyllae saved us that much I know.” I concluded. “She brought us back to the safest place she knew of… with her last strength, it seems.” I sighed, Tyllaes’ scream echoing in my head yet again when I closed my eyes. “She seemed to think there was hope for him even now. She thought we should pity him. After what he’s done, after what he’s become, I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I even want to for that matter.”

“Leetle Pooka had luxury of being in position to grant pity.” Caper said softly. “I do not see how we can afford to be that lenient. Is clear to me that Discord is too dangerous to be allowed to act at own leisure. While his attention is focused on us we must do all within power to destroy him before he turns attention to Earth or rest of Federation.”

“But why us?” Evee asked plaintively. “Why doesn’t he just go to Earth in the first place?”

“Is sixty-four thousand credit question, Comrade Lieutenant.” Caper said before turning to me. “Any insights, Starry-pushka?”

But it was Xantippe who spoke up. “Much lore has been lost in ages deep, but I seem to recall a tale that says Discord had a promise to keep.” The Zebra blanched nervously as all eyes turned her way, her hoof coming up to touch the amulet she wore. She dropped her eyes and folded her hooves in Zebrican modesty almost at once.

“Tyllae mentioned something about a ‘Compact’ between Celestia and Discord.” I prompted her. “Is that it?”

“There are legends and tales from time out of mind that are still kept alive among my kind.” Xantippe said softly. “We who have lost so much over the years have little else to comfort us against modern fears. What Ponies have chosen to forget may now be cause for them to regret. The pursuit of science and intelligence have led you into arrogance. The wisdom of the old tales you have forsaken may yet serve, if I am not mistaken.” She looked up briefly before dropping her eyes again.

“Roight!” Merry said, thumping the table. “Let me pop down to the Bar fer a tick. This’ll make more sense after a point or two!”

“The tale I’ve heard concerns the given Word to Celestia from the errant Discord.” Xantippe continued. “From his stony prison Discord was free at the behest of Celestia’s majesty. The Lord of Chaos sought, as he will, to run amok. He wrought a careful bargain with one Fluttershy to avoid becoming, once again, a stone block. He pretended in his falseness to be her friend to gain her trust and avert his end. Yet that what he scorned at the time turned out to be genuine! For the sake of his new-found friend he agreed his reign of Chaos to end. For the good of all he pledged to work and never more be such a jerk.”

Merry dug in her ear with a little finger and shook her head. “No offence, Tippy, but Oy think it comes through clearer when the Ol’ Doc tells it!”

“Quite the contrary.” Sekkack admonished her. “The nuances of the rhyming cadence aside…” He nodded politely to Xantippe who bowed her head in acknowledgement. “The message is quite clear. Discord made an agreement with Celestia in the past to never more trouble Equestria. It would appear that he is honoring that promise to this day, in letter if not in spirit. We are fortunate to have another source of data to supplement what the official records fail to tell us.” He squared his shoulders and went on. “It is clear that we cannot afford to dismiss the evidence of folklore any longer. The existence of Discord argues for the existence of Celestia and Luna who, if I am not mistaken, were responsible for bringing him under control in the first place. Indeed, the fact that Discord feels compelled to honor his bargain seems to indicate that at least one of the two still exist. Since we cannot cope with Discord with the means at our disposal…”

“Don’t write our technical know-how off yet, Mister!” Jerry put in. “Stimbolt gave him a hotfoot using unfamiliar equipment on a ship with less power available to it. With that as a guide I think we can do a lot better!”

Sekkack waited patiently until Jerry was done. “I was not denigrating either the late Mister Stimbolt or the capabilities of your ship, Chief Engineer. But Discord, having been injured before, is not likely to risk himself a second time in the same way. He may be insane but he is not ignorant. That he will come for us again is a given and it is certain he will be more on his guard the next time. I should think his next attack will be more devastating and will minimize his direct exposure to us. Make no mistake, we are in grave peril. Therefore, as I was saying, it behooves us to attempt to find the whereabouts of either of the beings who are capable of dealing with him of old.” He regarded the rest of us placidly. “It is the only logical option for us to pursue.”

“Roight! I’ll just nip up to the Bridge an’ put a call in to ‘Er Hoigh Mucky-Muck ‘Erself! Easy-peasy!” Merry snorted.

“You are being facetious.” Sekkack said calmly. “I submit that you consider the timing of the events. After all these years of silence Discord appears only after this ship finds Tyllae who put us on the trail of the Goddesses. The odds of such a thing being a coincidence are less than one in…”

“Existence of one is proof for the other, eh, Comrade Sekkack?” Caper grunted. “Leetle Pooka has made believer of you in the end, nyet? Can die happy now, having seen everything!”

“It is not a matter of belief, Captain Caper, but fact. One does not waste time arguing with facts; one accepts them and acts upon them. That is logic.”

“Feh! Transcendental numbers are facts but one does not spend eternity working them out to the last decimal place!” Bors looked the Vulcan over as if he’d just taken a roll in a waste container. “Logic works fine for computers but it doesn’t work for understanding a mad thing! And as far as calling up supernatural beings on subspace radio…!”
“I did not mention using subspace communications, Doctor Bogan. I was attempting to use logic to determine our most productive course of action. May I continue?” Sekkack folded his paws on the table and waited patiently.
“Bors! He’s right.” I cautioned the truculent Tellarite. “We need to think this through. We may only have one chance at this. Without Tyllae we’ll need all the help we can get and I’m curious to see where Mister Sekkack is going with this.” I nodded to the Vulcan, bidding him continue.

Sekkack nodded gravely. “Thank you, Commander. To put it as succinctly as possible for the sakes of those less patient…” He quirked an eyebrow that somehow took in both Bors and Merry. “As I perceive the logic of our situation, the existence of Discord presupposes the existence of at least Celestia. One cannot be without the other. Therefore if we find Discord I believe Celestia will be nearby. It is not irrational to propose that Discord’s cutting us off from communication with the rest of the Galaxy has the dual purpose of hiding us from her or them. They may not be aware of our plight. Could we but get close enough we should be able to get their attention despite Discord and the Prism. As for Discords’ location I would suggest we proceed with all speed for the astronomical anomalies in the Pegasus Sector. I believe he is herding us in that direction already.” Sekkack stirred not a finger during his dissertation. Now he sat back in his chair and folded his paws in his lap. “That is my recommendation.” He concluded simply.

We all regarded the Vulcan in varying degrees of shocked silence. Predictably, Bors spoke up first.

“Your recommendation is to jump into a Rowrgs’ Den to send up a smoke signal for help against the rowrg? Vulcan, you are truly insane!” He shook his fuzzy head pityingly.

“How do we foight this ‘ere Prism?” Merry demanded.

“We don’t.” Little Rock said simply.

“I concur.” Sekkack agreed. “We cannot match its raw power therefore we should not try. It is Discord we must contend with. We must use his madness and irrationality against him.”

Jerry pursed his lips in thought. “He can’t hit what he can’t see. Tyllae taught us some tricks to keep under his radar. I think we can get by with adapting her spells to our electronics, I wish she were still around to lend a hoof but I think my Unicorns can pull it off. I can get us started on the modifications right away!”

I nodded thoughtfully. “The same goes for Sensory. I could dedicate some of the subspace sensors, beef them up and reinforce them to use as a method of keeping him off us until we nail down his location. It’s what happens at that point that has me worried. How long can we keep him talking… and what do we do when he starts swinging?”

“We cross that bridge when we come to it.” Caper said decisively. “Hopefully we have time between then and now to come up with brainstorm.” He sighed, not the sigh of a defeated warrior with no hope, but the sigh of a Pony setting himself to a heavy task. “Leetle Pooka has bought us this time, let us make best of it, da? Plan is audacious. As Comrade Sekkack reminds us we are in great danger, indeed! But is no better plan to hoof I can see.” He nodded brusquely. “Until better one is devised this one will do!” He drained his coffee and stood to gather us all up with his eyes.
“We have our jobs to do, everypony. Starry, please to ready recorder marker with current logs, use same procedure as before. Starfleet will hopefully get message and maybe succeed if we fail. Let us make Leetle Pooka and Stimbolt proud of us. Dismissed!”

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE- Blessings Counted

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

BLESSINGS COUNTED

Feeling numb and drained, I lingered as the briefing broke up. Caper led the exodus, Jerry close behind, bound for Engineering. Bors and Sekkack went out together, bound for the Sciences Department to impart what they’d heard and to start the wheels turning there. I knew Melody wouldn’t waste any time getting started on the sensor modifications. Evee and Star were hot on their heels, the Helmspony giving me a sympathetic look as she filed out. As she left, Merry crossed the room to where I sat. She insinuated herself between Doctor Willowbark and me with a muted “S’cuse me, Mate!”
Willowbark looked up, distracted, and moved a couple of seats down but made no other move to leave the room. He watched Xantippe gather up the cups quietly as Merry hunkered down next to me.

“’Ere now!” She began in, what for her, passes for a quiet voice. “Oy just wanted to say ‘ow sorry Oy am fer what ‘appened to ya… an’ fer little Tilly. Bad ‘nuf ta lose a roight bonzer young buck like ol’ Stimbolt, but the rest’s a croyin’ shame!” She rubbed the end of her nose to covertly cover a sniffle before continuing with a growl. “Weren’t any need fer it ‘cept fer sheer bloody-moindedness! Well, if there’s any justice in the bloody Galaxy, you Boffin toypes’ll figger out some way to serve the bloody bugger out roight an’ proper. When ya do, just lemme push the button, eh? For Tilly an’ Stimbolt an’ poor ol’ Dazzle? Don’t seem loikly Oy’ll get the chance to clobber ‘im meself, eh? Eh? Just a thought!” She threw herself down in the seat and leaned in. “So… ‘ow’s the Doc takin’ yer new look? Bit o’ trouble in Paradise Oy bet eh, eh?” She tipped me a knowing wink. “Ya want Oy should go talk to ‘er?”

I considered the earnest, open face before answering. Merry is almost as subtle as a photonic torpedo and I was sure Sunny would be in a devastated frame of mind already… But how could you say no to a well-meaning friend without hurting their feelings?

“She’s… coping with it.” I smiled weakly. “We haven’t had any time to thrash out the, um, ramifications of it yet… if you know what I mean!” I gave her a meaningful look.

“Roight!” Merry laid a finger alongside her nose and winked. “Well don’t you be too worried, Boss Lady! The two of ya need each other, now more’n ever! Oy reckon she’ll remember that in the end. S’loike they says in all ‘em ol’ movies! ‘True Love’ll foind a way’ eh, eh?”

I wished I’d felt as confident as she did. Sunny never went into any lurid details but the idea of being with a Stallion gives her the willies. When I asked her about it up she shivered in disgust and changed the subject so it had to be something pretty traumatic. In my case, I’d never found a satisfying… or considerate… male lover so I just widened my interests. I’m a Lesbian by choice, but Sunny gave me the impression she never got a choice. That she loved me I never doubted… but this promised to put a hell of a strain on our relationship! …And I was more than a little scared.

“Well… things will never be the same from this point forward, that’s for sure!” I admitted, deflecting the course of the conversation. “She’ll take Tyllae’s loss hard. …It’s like losing a child.”

“Yeah, Oy can ‘preciate that.” Something in the look she gave me let me know that she saw more than I’d let on. “Oy’ll drop by Sick Bay an’ see ‘ow she’s ‘oldin’ up then.” She clapped her knees with her hooves and stood up. “Keep yer chin up, Starry. We’ll get through this all roight, you’ll see!” She gave me a little dig with her elbow. “Eh, eh?” She gave me another wink and made her way to the door at about the same time Xantippe passed by me with her eyes downcast in Zebrican courtesy.

I reached out to touch the Zebra’s arm. “Xantippe…”

She stopped and lifted limpid, brown eyes that glimmered with sadness briefly before she drew her veil of Zebra decorum over them. I felt a sudden rush of empathy for the Mare. Like me, she was almost an alien among Ponies. Her culture… and mine… made us that way. Like me, she left her home to live among another people for her own reasons. I was Equestrin enough to respect that and not to ask her why, none of my business as I reckoned it. The fact that she was on this ship showed that she had devoted herself to working for the common good of the Federation and not just for Zebrica or Earth. I gave her arm a squeeze before I dropped my hand.

“Xantippe, you mentioned that iron poisons the Fey.” I swallowed before continuing. “Do the stories mention a cure? Is there any hope that Tyllae…?” The look in her eyes made me trail off into silence.

“The Little Folk are brave and strong… but against cold iron they do not last long.” She said in a quiet voice almost drowned out by the distant thrumming of the plasma conduits that brought power and life to the Hermes. “The Faeries, by another name, were long venerated among my kind. For their gentle wisdom and their gaiety they have been revered for time out of mind.” She looked wistful for a moment at something far removed in space and time. “They taught us important things like how to be happy and patient and to live with land we called out own, lessons, it seems Ponies seem to have outgrown. Despite the firmness of out position, we were told we believed a superstition.” She shook her head wearily. “For the sake of good they did good to return threefold, in hindsight a lesson lost on us all if I may be so bold!” She dropped her eyes and shook her head, her earrings swinging. “Poor lost little dove! As it is said, ‘There is no greater love…’” She closed her eyes, bright tears appearing at their corners.

I took her tray from her gently and deposited it on the table. Even seated I was taller than she was so it wasn’t an effort to gather her up in my arms for a hug. I stifled her single sob against my shoulder, my own eyes burning with tears that never fell. The words of Celestia rang in my ears and I echoed them as I patted the back of her head.
“Don’t cry because she’s gone, smile because you remember her.” I said softly.
Xantippe hugged me fiercely before disengaging to compose herself.

“This is true; I must not be so silly.” She smiled an unsteady smile. “What would Tyllae think to look at me?”

“I think I know this much,” I gave her the ghost of a wink. “…She’d be pleased to know she was loved so much!”

Xantippe held my eyes for a warm second before dropping them demurely. She gathered up her tray and offered me one of her Zebrican bows before she shuffle-stepped out of the room. I watched her leave. When the doors whooshed shut behind her I turned my eyes to Willowbark.

“What’s on your mind, Doctor?”

He looked up, once again caught up in whatever he was thinking. He quickly assumed a professional expression.
“Hm? Yes, I wanted to schedule you for a complete physical. With your new… situation, we’ll have to establish new baseline readings for you. I would also like to have another look at your wrist and hand before I go back to Sickbay.” He stopped dithering and looked at me frankly. “As long as I’m here, I wanted to ask you something. May I?”

I extended my arm toward him. He rose and began fussing with the splint. He didn’t look up at me as he worked.

“Commander, while you were down there…” He partially undid then retightened the splint. “You actually saw Celestia, didn’t you?” he darted a glance at me.

“I think I know where you’re going with this, Doctor. Yeah, she’s real. We saw her, at least as she was millennia ago. A quadruped… like the rest of the Ponies of the day. The stories were true after all.” I gave him a wry grin. “Looks like we’re all descended of Augments in the end, doesn’t it?”

He matched my expression. “Touché, Commander.” He gave my hand a visual once-over and resumed his seat. “What happens if we’re able to meet her, I wonder?”

“Meet them, you mean.” I corrected him. “Celestia and Luna are a pair. What are you getting at, anyway?”

Willowbark contemplated me for a moment, then, “I’m a Doctor, I’ve been one a good time now. I was in The War, you know. Front-line stuff, I was a medic on the cruiser Roamel, one of the old-style ‘Hammer-Head’ ships. You know the kind. I understand you were posted with Captain Caper on Mountgomery.”

I nodded, my mind briefly filled with memories of the cramped…at least from my standpoint… vessels with their characteristic T-shaped forward hulls. They were the last ships in service without Shielding, their hulls reinforced with superconducting armor plating. They were also among the last Starfleet designs incorporating the inboard Time Warp Drive before the present Saucer-and-Nacelle configuration. Primitive by today’s standards, real bare-bones down-and-dirty warships.

“I saw a lot of frankly horrific things.” Willowbark went on dispassionately. “The Engineers told me that the Romulans couldn’t make a Warp Field large enough for a ship. They knew enough about it, though, to be able to accelerate a laser beam into the delta frequencies. Nasty things, delta lasers…” As if he had thrown a switch, his eyes became blank as he put distance between his conscious mind and the memories. His voice assumed a practiced, neutral tone. “Most of the energy went straight through the armor like it wasn’t there. Anything organic just went up in a steam explosion. Just being in the vicinity of a hit caused horrible, disfiguring burns that went cancerous every single time. I was nearby Doctor Retort when we took a hit at the battle of Charon. We were gearing up to tend wounded on another deck. One second she was there helping us load supplies on a gurney then zap, splat! I was pelted with boiling bits of her as that end of Sickbay went up in a blast of superheated air! I caught a piece of it. From armpit to knee I was burned. Lung, liver, bowel. All delta-burned.” He causally indicated himself beneath his uniform. “You can’t imagine how much it hurt. The scarring is irreparable. Five years of cancer therapies and reconstructive surgery. I was among the lucky ones. I was evaced to another ship. Most others weren’t nearly so fortunate. There are thousands of living horror shows still alive out there. Like them, I’ll never have children. I don’t even have the inclination to try any more. I’m forty years old.” The haggard ghost of a note of bitterness crept into his voice though his eyes stayed resolutely neutral.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I said carefully. “When the Hermes was commissioned we cruised by ourselves more than a few times. We lost good Ponies. Many more were… wounded and medically discharged.” I could empathize with him, if only a little. I got a delta-burn on most of my left arm. Augmentation saved me. The fur fell out, the scars eventually went away. The fur that grew back came back solid white before falling out again to re-grow normally. It hurt like Hell, but I had a job to get done. At least my DNA survived intact… though I did take the precaution of having a few ova removed and preserved when I enlisted. I figured I could will them to the Colony if I came through all this alive.

I didn’t lose what Willowbark did nor did I have to deal with what he did on a daily basis. To his credit I’ve never heard him complain about it to anypony… though it did go a long way toward explaining the more irascible elements of his personality. My estimation of his character ratcheted up a few points. And yet, there had to be a reason for him to bring it up now. I made a guess about where he was going but he spoke before I did.

“If these ‘Goddesses’ have been alive all this time.” He said. “If they had the potential to keep all this from happening…” His eyes went glacial as he locked gazes with me suddenly. “…Then they have a lot to answer for, haven’t they? Not just for me, Commander! I’m just one Pony who made his choices and lived with the consequences. What’s done is done on that account. Just like you and Equestris. Do they have the right to just come back as if the last three thousand years never happened… do we even want them back after they left us?”

I regarded him for long moments before replying, wondering just how to answer that. “Look, I can’t presume to speak for everypony.” I began. “I don’t believe I have that right. We don’t have all the facts yet. All we have is tradition and folklore that hasn’t survived intact over the years. All we know is that the Goddesses were important to Ponykind and that their loss affected the course of our History. We have the chance now to get some answers… if we can get by Discord, that is! Tyllae thought that getting them was worth the risk and that’s good enough for me. As for the rest…” I shrugged. “If we win through in the end you can ask Celestia herself. I’ll make sure you get the chance, you’ve got my word on that.” I offered him my good hoof. After a moment he extended his and I gripped his forearm hard enough to show him that I meant what I said. “Fair enough?”

He squeezed me back surprisingly hard and held my eyes. “I believe you.” He said, searching my gaze. “Fair enough. Who could ask for anything fairer than that?”

He released me and collected himself, becoming all business again. “I should get back to Sickbay. It is my Watch and Doctor Cross, I daresay, will be glad to be relieved.” He stood and stuck his hooves into his lab coat. “You should be able to remove the splint by the end of this Watch. The healing and regeneration spell matrices are doing very well, if I do say so myself. Call me if you have any discomfort.” He said briskly, and then hung back for a moment.

“I would have thought that you would have been a bit more… fanatical in your beliefs, Starry-Eyes. I am pleasantly surprised.” An element of a twinkle made itself visible in his eyes for just a moment before being hidden away again. “And gratified. Thank you for listening.”

“I prefer to think of myself as a rationalist rather than a fanatic, Willow.” I gave him a twisted grin. “I’m sure you’re not asking anything that hasn’t already occurred to many other Ponies. In any event, you’re welcome!” I paused for a moment. “Could you do me a favor?”

He raised his eyebrows inquisitively and waited.

“I have some things to do first but I’ll be going back to our quarters afterwards. Tell Sunny I’ll be there if she wants to, uh, talk about… what’s happened.”

Willowbark quirked a Vulcan-esque eyebrow. “‘If’, Starry? I was privy to the talk you had with the Comm Officer.” He coughed delicately into one hoof. “I’m not a qualified Psychiatrist by any means, but maybe you shouldn’t sell yourself… or Doctor Cross… so short.” He removed one hoof to sketch me a loose salute. “I’ll pass along your message, never fear. Take care in the meantime.” He smiled his trademark tight smile and left.

As a self-proclaimed rationalist, my first stop was the Quartermaster where I got my remodeled body scanned for a new set of clothes. As before, it took a few tries to get something that fit well enough. I couldn’t get a set of trousers baggy enough to de-emphasize that damn bulge in the front… the story of my life, it seems! The boxer shorts were pleasantly roomy, though…

I had an anxious moment when I had to use the bathroom. Though there were no others using the facilities I had to will myself to go through the door marked ‘Stallions’ and was so self-conscious I couldn’t bring myself to stand in front of the urinal. Going into a stall wasn’t much better. The height difference between me and the toilet seemed to be way too far for sanitary comfort. In the end I ended up sitting down, feeling somehow mortified! In the future I resolved to use the facilities in our quarters no matter how out of the way it was!

The Quartermaster Department contained the ships stylists and I got myself a more appropriate manecut. I chose a no-nonsense Military style that left the vast majority of my luxurious mane on the floor. I really liked my mane! I always thought it was my best feature although, prior to Sunny, I rarely bothered to style it in anything like an elaborate fashion. I was proud of its thickness and its body and its comfortable weight on my neck and shoulders. Letting it go was a wrench. Tears actually stung my eyes when I had my tail trimmed down to masculine norms. Somehow the enormity of my change never hit home until I regarded the new me that looked back out of the mirror with tears shining in his eyes…

The Starry-Eyes that strode purposefully through the corridors was just familiar enough to those I passed that I collected countless double-takes as I made my way back home. A few ponies stopped dead and turned to say something but I just couldn’t do it. I. Just. Couldn’t.

By the time I got there I was furious. Furious with my failure to protect Stimbolt and Tyllae; furious that I couldn’t keep Dazzle from being Discord’s plaything, furious with a universe that let itself become riddled with illogical and insane Magic! Grief piled upon guilt. Stimbolt, Tyllae, and what had been done to me jostled each other in my mind and I’m forever ashamed to say that I couldn’t decide what hurt me worst just then. How much could one Pony be forced to bear? By the time I hit the door I had to clamp my jaw shut to keep my chin from quivering and the tears I’d been staving off filled my eyes and blurred my vision.

When I stepped inside, the lingering scent of Sunny’s perfume and the blossoms of the Geeva plant broke the last fragile threads of my restraint. I shut my eyes and sobbed, the hot tears running down my face as I sagged against the wall and just gave up.

A soft noise made me throw open my eyes. I could just make out a splash of color against the bedspread. Brilliant white, Medical Blue and the golden curls of her mane, Sunny sat on my side of the bed. Her head whirled my way and her lovely eyes went wide.

I froze against the wall. The way Sunny kissed me when we returned to the ship should have convinced me that she still loved me… but my insecurities were so inflamed by this particular point that I was terrified that even now she would take one good look, come to her senses, and flee from me.
I flinched as she studied the newly-refurbished me, her head slowly cocked to one side and I held my shuddering breath. She stood slowly and deliberately and I saw that she had been holding something in one hoof… the ribbons that had been wrapped ‘round our hooves when we were married trailed in the air as she stepped forward. One step… the next one came faster… she half-jumped and half-flew that last step into my waiting arms, draping those ribbons across my neck. I remember sinking to my knees at some point, my head cradled against her breast as I moaned and sobbed unintelligible apologies and regrets. Sunny held me tight. I don’t remember what she murmured to comfort me, I just remember the love in her voice and the sympathetic tears that dampened my mane. It healed my wounded soul just to hear her tell me again and again that It Was Going To Be All Right.

Eventually the storm passed to the point that I became coherent again. Drained by the events of the past day I numbly let her help me to my hooves.

“Och, me poor Dear!” She whispered soothingly. “Sure ‘n ye’ve reason t’ cry! I ken ye need t’ sleep but I’ve summat here I fancy’ll brighten yer dreams just a wee bit.”

I shook a head that felt like it weighed more than a starship. “Sunny, I just can’t! I don’t even know how all this new plumbing is supposed to work and in any event I feel like ten miles of collapsed tunnel…”

Her tail switched me on the bottom! “Let’s be takin’ things one step at a time… boyo!” She growled, not unaffectionatley. “If ye can drag yer mind out o’ gutter long enough t’ pay attention t’ what I’ve got t’ say I’ll be thankin’ ye t’ keep yer voice down t’ dull roar! Ye’re no th’ only one that needs t’ sleep!”

I nodded muzzily. “Well let’s go, then. I promise to keep on my side of the bed. Like I said, I feel like a wreck!” I blinked, on the verge of just collapsing face-down on the bed. “Maybe you should put on some pajamas, though. I’ve heard of this thing called ‘the gallant reflex’…”

Sunny made a disgusted noise and fetched me a kick to my shins!

“Ow! Damnit, Sunny! Look, I’m just not in the mood for Doctor Cross’s Cure-All Remedy right now… though I applaud your willingness to experiment! Maybe later if you feel up to it, ok?”

“Dinna flatter yerself! I dinna think yer that handsome… yet!” She amended with a coquettish gleam in her eye that was replaced immediately by tolerant irritation as she reached up to grab my chin and my attention!

“Now then, Mind yer manners, ye great lump!” She gave me a tender swat with her tail. “There’s someone here that wants t’ say hello n’ good-night t’ ye!” She turned my head toward my side of the bed.

There, curled up under a Starfleet-Blue towel, too tired to finish the brownie on the plate next to her, too tired to flit into the air, almost too tired to stay awake, lay Tyllae! Those incredibly weary black-button eyes smiled up at me as she gave a feeble wave of a tiny foreleg.

“Hi-hii, Starry!” Her voice was heartbreakingly faint. “Surprise!”

Chapter Forty- The Faery Rede

CHAPTER FORTY

THE FAERY REDE

I stopped myself from gathering her up, she looked so frail! More delicate than a hothouse flower, more fragile than a snowflake, and more beautiful than a young star in a nursery nebula Tyllae contented herself with nuzzling my outstretched finger as I sank down on the bed and sagged against Sunny who joined me.

“Sunny! …You’re a genius!” I breathed shakily. “The way they were talking it seemed like… like….”

Sunny leaned her head on my shoulder and reached out to caress the elfin head. “Well I’ll admit that maybe we bought the wee lass a few minutes but, in th’ end, it was her doin’. Wasn’t it, ye wee spriggan?” She tickled Tyllae’s neck who nodded with only a fraction of her usual manic energy. She made a motion with a tiny hoof for Sunny to continue before shutting her eyes to better concentrate on enjoying our joint ministrations.

“She was delirious by th’ time I got t’ Sickbay n’ fadin’ fast.” Sunny spoke quietly so as not to disturb her Dearest Patient. “I got her on Bio-Bed n’ watched as her readins’ just kept sliding down. Doctor Willowbark was reportin’ that he had to answer a priority call r’ somesich. Poor Dazzle came to ‘bout then n’ started ravin’! I hit her wi’ another tranquilization spell so fast it made her spin. Aye, I was understandably preoccupied n’ told him t’ take a flyin’ buck at a bloody rollin’ cupcake or summat. I wasna on me best behavior by any account… I’ll have t’ ‘pologize t’ laddie for that!” Something in the way she chuckled suggested to me that that wasn’t going to happen. In her Sickbay Sunny Doesn’t Explain Anything.

“Th’ diagnostic computer was a-tellin’ us Tyllae was dyin’ o’ some sort o’ poisoning as well as a severe allergic reaction. Trouble was there was no poison or allergen in her system th’ bloody machine could recognize from its bloody database! I dinna mind tellin’ ye I was morena wee bit frantic! She was slippin’ away as I watched. I dragooned a couple o’ Unicorns and we concentrated on multiple spells t’ clean her blood and vitalize her system. Th’ gross physical injury was practically healed by then, though th’ scarrin’ persisted despite all we did throughout th’ entire wound. I finally had a brainwave then! Th’ old tales, ye ken, tell us that iron ‘tis deadly t’ Wee Folk, burns ‘em like refined plutonium n’ toxic as strontium-90 to boot. Wi’ naught else t’ do, I had th’ three o’ us hit her wi’ every antiradiation spell n’ therapy we had. We gave her healin’ as well, enough t’ mend a battalion o’ shot-up Manticores! She soaked it all up like a bloody Magic sponge. Th’ readins slowed n’ finally, fer one brief second, stopped. We couldna keep it up, o’ course. Th’ second we had t’ recharge a spell r’ break out another potion we’d lose th’ edge n’ she’d slide again. But the wee thing had no more room t’ slide, ye ken!” She paused a moment to tuck the little Fey in tenderly. Tyllae nuzzled her finger then, looking a little more alert, reached to take a mouthful of brownie. Just like a foal having a snack during Story Time!

“Aye, we stabilized her fer th’ grand total o’ three seconds. But it was enough fer her, wasn’t it, lassie?” She nudged the brownie closer, urging her to eat. “I dinna ken if it were reflex r’ if she retained just enough consciousness t’ make choice. Whatever it was I’m glad she did it. We couldn’t last, I was seein’ black patches across me vision by then and Doctors Balm n’ Chamomile weren’t in much better shape. We none of us were gonna stop while we could still stand n’ th’ Nurse wi th’ potions was hookin’ a cart full o’ potions wi’ his hoof so he could keep ‘em comin’ wi no interruption, bless his heart! Still, th’ Moment o’ Truth was upon us all. I was actually reachin’ for a hypo o’ cordrazine… ye ken, th’ new hyperstimulant? Wicked stuff, t’ be sure, but I was gonna stick all o’ us wi’ it if it could give us any more time! Tyllae saved us th’ trouble, though! She went t’ Other Side right then n’ there!”

She carefully scratched the little Fey between the antennae as she continued.

“Like so much o’ what she does in that state, ‘twas beautiful n’ a mickle bit terrifyin’! One second she’s a pitiful wee thing glowing wi’ multiple spells like a magical Hearthswarming ornament, th’ next we’re all staggerin’ as we’re shoved back n’ away from Bio-Bed by th’ full-size Tyllae suddenly lyin’ there! Balm fell flat on floor while Chamomile collided wi’ Nurse Splint. I fetched up against next bed n’ watched as not-so-wee Tyllae spread her wings n’ cried out summat in her eerie, Otherside language. I almost wish ye could’ve heard it, Starry! It was so… majestic… n’ so unspeakably sorrowful it sent shivers down all our spines, I can tell ye! The call faded away n’ so did her Other Side form. She collapsed on herself ‘til she was our wee Tyllae again. We scrambled back, summoning our last strength fer our spells, but the readins’ had stabilized. They were terrible low, but she’d saved herself wi’ her sacrifice.”

I eyed the recumbent Fey. “’Sacrifice’? What did she give up, real food?”

“Tyllae was dying, Starry.” The little Fey said softly. “Hurt so bad, hurt so much poor, poor, poor Tyllae couldn’t think straight. Tyllae just folded up little wings an’ got ready for Other Side. Very, very, very nice onna Other Side, Starry. No iron, no Discord, an’ alla Tyllae’s friends from Long Ago are there!” She laid her elfin head on my finger and looked up at me, half in a dream it seemed. “Tyllae’s Momma an’ Daddy, too! Alla waiting for Tyllae. Faeries onna Other Side know when Faery from This Side cross over for Last Time, thassa parta Magic of Other Side, yep, yep, yep!” Tyllae stopped to yawn a huge, Faery yawn and shook her head a few times to clear it up, her antennae jangling.

“Just when Tyllae bouta cross over, Tyllae stopped! Tyllae was all confoozeld atta time but Tyllae thinks that was when Sunny anna other Dokkers stopped Tyllae from dying for a little bit. Tyllae was all tired an’ hurt and wanna go Other Side anna rest an’ wake up on Other Side with all Faeries Tyllae missed but Tyllae’s Momma stood right inna threshold an’ wouldn’t let Tyllae through, nope, nope, nope! ‘Tyllae!’ Momma said. ‘Where think going? Tyllae is Last Faery onna This Side. What happens to Tyllae’s friends if Tyllae Goes Away? Faeries help! How Tyllae gonna help if Tyllae goes to Other Side?’ Momma not being mean, Tyllae knows Momma always loves Tyllae! Tyllae told Momma alla bout how bad Discord got an how This Side is without nice, nice, nice Celestia an Luna. Tyllae told Momma how Tyllae was too hurt an sick to stay onna This Side. Momma gave Tyllae a hug. Momma unnerstan how much poor, little Tyllae hurt an how bad little Tyllae felt but Momma said Tyllae must be very, very, very brave. Momma knew poor Tyllae was dying on This Side but Momma also very, very, very wise an said Tyllae must stay onna This Side. Momma knew it hurt really, really, really bad an was very, very, very sorry but Tyllae just hada stay This Side!

Poor Tyllae was all confoozeld! Iron kills Faeries an no Faery who got stuck like poor Tyllae ever, ever, ever got better! Nope, nope, nope! Always end up on Other Side every time!

But Momma said there was a way but Tyllae would have to make a big, big, big choice; a very, very, very important choice that only Tyllae could make. Momma said it possible to Tyllae to stay onna This Side only if Tyllae give up Other Side forever an ever an ever. Faeries live in two worlds at same time, Starry. All Faeries starta out onna This Side but end up onna Other Side when die here. Until Faeries die Faeries can move from one Side to another. Safer on Other Side… but This Side is Home.

If brave Tyllae gives up Other Side the life Tyllae would have there Tyllae can have here. But Tyllae can never, never, never go back to Other Side. Tyllae never see Momma an Daddy or Tyllaes’ old friends ever again. Never getta play in Magic Gardens an hear the pretty, pretty, pretty wind that blows through the Stars no more, nope, nope, nope. No Faery could make Tyllae do this, Faeries are Free, Starry! No Faery ever, ever, ever choose to stay when life on This Side was over.

But Momma said it was very, very, very important that Tyllae stay here but, as wise as Momma is, Momma did not know why. Faeries very, very, very old but not even Faeries know everything all at once. Faeries do know that Faeries goofed long, long, long ago an everyone on This Side suffered for it. Remember alla Trees, Starry! Faeries tried to fix but the World Changed before Faeries could make it right. Faeries died an went to Other Side before Wild Magic Faeries bring could be made safe. Faeries think that Tyllae can fix even though Faeries not sure how.

Alla Faeries asked, even Tytanya the Faerie Queen asked if Tyllae would stay! Yep, yep, yep! But Tytanya never give order, no Faery would ask another Faery to forsake the Faery Realm, nope, nope, nope! No Faery would blame Tyllae is Tyllae did not. Faeries could stay all together onna Other Side for ever an ever an ever an be happy.
…But Faeries said they would help Pony Tree. Faeries promised! How could The Last Faery just flit away to play forever while Friends were in trouble on This Side, Starry? After all this time, alla those lives… one Tree should survive to show Faeries not all the way stoopid. Faeries mean well, Faeries really did. If Tyllae gotta die an be gone forever then that not so much to ask, is it?

Tyllae was real, real, real scaredy-scared. Tyllae is not brave, nope, nope, nope! But Tyllae always tried to be a Good Faery an do right things an if Momma thought it was a good thing how could Tyllae say no? Tyllae tried to be brave but Tyllae cried alla same when Tyllae said yes. Alla Faeries onna Other Side cried, too cause alla Faeries missed Tyllae. Tyllae felt very, very, very sad an thought Tyllae would never be happy again even if Tyllae got to stay with Starry an Sunny an Her-mees Tribe… then Tyllae saw little Dendi onna Other Side.

Tyllae told Sunny an Starry bouta little Dendi! Dendi was Tyllae’s little baby an the most bee-yoo-tee-ful thing onna This Side. Dendi cried like alla other Faeries but Dendi also said how proud Dendi was that Dendi’s Momma was so brave to go back an make everything Good for the Big Ponies.

Then Tyllae had a scary, scary, scary thought! If Discord not stopped how long until Magic Prism talk Discord into going to Other Side to eat up alla Faeries to make Magic Prism bigger? Tyllae gotta make Dendi, Momma, alla Tyllae’s friends safe, Starry, on both Sides! Tyllae just gotta!

Tyllae begged Faeries to tell Tyllae how cause Tyllae was fresh outa ideas how to do it, yep, yep, yep! But is hard to see This Side froma Other Side, even harder to see how Prism thinks. Prism does not think like Ponies or Faeries. Magic Prism does not feel an only does what Prism is told to do, act like Prism is told to act. Prism is unfree an yet Prism is not a slave. Faeries think Prism gonna eat up Discord an replace with a twisted thing that thinks is Discord, more powerful an less feeling than Discord ever was! Poor Discord too messed up inna coco to know whahappening! Discord gotta be made to see, Starry! Faeries say that if save Discord, save everybody on both Sides… but how to do?

But alla Faeries shakea heads, too hard to know. All Faeries could say was the Discord must not be killed. Kill Discord an whahappen with Prism? Does Prism run away to do what Prism wants or does someone else less able to control take Prism? Bad, bad, bad either way!

Tyllae was still all scaredy but Tyllae was getting all mad, too! How Tyllae s’posed to find a way to save Discord an destroy Prism alla by Tyllae’s self? Tyllae said thatta bunch of stinky-bugs that Tyllae was gonna give up Other Side forever for nothing! That not fair an Tyllae said so right to Queen Tytanya, yep, yep, yep! Tyllae was all tough like Starry-Eyes an Tyllae thinks Tyllae scared alla other Faeries a little bit. Tyllae was sorry but Tyllae was running outa time. Whatever Sunny an Dokker Ponies did was running out an Tyllae had to know right now!

Faeries put alla heads together an tried real, real, real hard an makea big, big, big Magic. Alla us lissend really, really, really hard to Wind That Blows Through The Stars. Star-Wind oldest thing ever and Faeries followed the Song of the Star-Wind to Other Side inna first place. Star-Wind sings songs ‘bout everything that happen everywhere an everywhen but not even Faeries unnerstan what Star-Wind sing about alla time. Tyllae thinks Tyllae lissened hardest cause Tyllae needed to know the most. It almost tooka too longa time, yep, yep, yep! Just when poor, brave Tyllae begana dying again Tyllae thinks Tyllae heard sumpin inna Song! Tyllae hugged Momma an kissed little Dendi one last time an Came Back with alla Faeries crying an saying ‘Bye-Bye’ to poor, poor, poor Tyllae.” The little tyke blinked wearily and laid her head back down on my pillow. The effort of telling the tale had clearly cost her but she didn’t want to rest until she told us both, bless her little heart!

Tyllae stretched where she lay, her wings unfurling and shaking just a little before furling close again. “Tyllae gotta sleep now. Tyllae is sooper, sooper, sooper-duper pooped an Tyllae still hurts a little.” She raised her head to look at both of us solemnly. “Tyllae is less than Tyllae was but Tyllae issa still here an Tyllae still wanna help alla Ponies.” Her little head drooped a little and those tiny black eyes grew even brighter than usual. “…An Tyllae is feeling lonely an scared. Tyllae loves Starry an Sunny an wants to be with for alla time Tyllae has left but mosta everyone Tyllae knew an loved is onna Other Side an Tyllae will never, never, never ever see again. Tyllae hopes Tyllae does good an keepa all safe. That why Tyllae made Tyllae’s big, big, big choice… but Tyllae so sad, Starry! Tyllae hada die once an Tyllae not happy bout having to die again, this time forever!” She sniffled, crushed for a moment by the weight of her decision. But the plucky Fey bucked herself up a moment later, trying so hard to be brave that we both reached out to cup her in our hooves.
“Tyllae is not sorry, Starry! Not sorry one little bit, Sunny!” She looked at us in turn. “But Tyllae has had the worst day in Tyllae’s life so far an Tyllae just feels so mizzerble that Tyllae jussa needs to cry for a while. Keep Tyllae close! Please, please, please? Tyllae does not wanna be alone any more, nuh-uh!” She sniffled again, her composure finally faltering. “T-Tyllae m-m-must be one b-b-bad Faery! N-not fair! No, no no! Whyfor gotta pick on poor, p-p-poor T-Tyllae all timeee…!”

I thought she was bad before, that night she came to us with the memory of Nightmare Moon fresh in her mind. Now she was beyond mere hysterics. Her body shook; she writhed and moaned mostly, though here and there we could pick out a word. After that first moment of weakness she never wept for herself again. Her grief was for her little daughter, her Mother, her relations, the lost friends of her fillyhood, even the crew of the Cimarron as well as ‘poor Stimmy-bolt’. She wept for Discord, too and I felt ashamed that I could not share her nobility. Just then, with a grief-stricken Faery cradled between us, I wanted to beat two tears out of his chimerical hide for every one shed by this innocent little tyke with his bloody Prism… right before I skewered him with it! But even I had to admit… reluctantly… that Tyllae had the right of it. Discord was no longer his own master. Whether he’d handed his soul to the Prism or it took it I do not know but I was at least fairly certain that, if here were in his right mind… assuming he ever had one… not even he would countenance what had been done. Don’t get me wrong! I’ll never forgive him for what he did to Stimbolt, Dazzle, or Tyllae… let alone the uncounted ponies and other people who suffered for the sake of his grief and loneliness. If the Pony race could pull itself up out of the ashes of the Eugenics Wars, survive the Romulans and still go on to build the Federation why couldn’t he? Celestia and Luna held themselves accountable for their actions, why not Discord?

I considered the wretched little Fey cupped in my hoof, her hot tears coating my fingers. I raised her to my lips and kissed the top of her shuddering head. “You’re not a bad Faery, Tyllae. You’re the best one of us on This Side. The Very Best!”

Sunny drew my hoof down and added a tender kiss of her own. “Aye, we love ye, ye wee scamp! Ye have yerself a good cry now, we’re here n’ we’ll never leave ye. I dinna ken th’ Other Side but I canna help but t’ think Celestia n’ Luna both would save ye a place wi’ them in th’ end. Ye can spend yer Eternity wi’ us Ponies n’ teach yer Star-Songs t’ us if ye’d like.” I kept my mouth shut. Metaphysics is not something we Equestrins put a lot of stock in. We believe in the Conservation of Energy and the rest of the laws of Thermodynamics. Everypony is an individual and once they’re gone they’re gone. Life is good so work hard and do good and enjoy what you can before the end, that’s just part of the Equestrin Way. Still…

Until a very short time ago I would have thought that anything else was just a quaint superstition that ponies afraid of death comforted themselves with. But now, assuming that Discord’s memory was true, I’d seen Celestia and Luna. If they were real then maybe the afterlife is, too. We of Equestris made our choices long ago in those regards with no regrets. If it turns out we were wrong that’s our fault but Tyllae was another matter entirely. Faeries aren’t Ponies, but they helped Ponies come into existence and that’s got to count for something, doesn’t it? For the sake of what she had given up and the reason she gave it up for I liked to think that the Goddesses could make enough room in the hereafter for such as she. I could walk into oblivion with head held high knowing that Tyllae would rest cuddled under Luna’s wing under the benevolent eyes of her Elder Sister…

Sunny touched my arm and jarred me out of my reverie.

“Come along, then!” She said softly. “’Tis late n’, as has been observed, ‘tis been a long n’ terrible day. Let’s get what rest we can.” She reached back and began to unfasten her uniform. She paused and quirked a suspicious eyebrow at me.

“How serious are ye ‘bout those pajamas…?”

“I don’t think it’ll be an issue tonight.” I summoned up a weak smile. “Even in my original state I’d be hard pressed to be in the mood… given what’s happened.”

“Aye, me own sense o’ adventure’s about at its lowest ebb just now t’ be sure!” Sunny agreed. Soon boots, blouse, stockings and bra littered the deck as she made for the bathroom wearing only her brief panties. My eyes wandered over to the calendar on our terminal. Great. On top of everything else Sunny was beginning her estrus cycle! For the next several days it was going to be that much more difficult being in such close proximity to her, being a male an all. All I could do was put my faith in twenty-third century feminine hygiene products and hope for the best. I stuck another pin in my mental Discord voodoo doll… no, not a pin, a crystal shard… and concentrated on the sobbing Faery I held close until she returned and took her off my hands.

I undressed and recycled my clothing before I fished my customary sleepwear… from when I used to wear it… out of the closet. A faded, green ‘Loderunners’ jersey from my days playing spatball in the Company Leagues back on Equestris. It came down over my butt and I kept my boxers on as I slid self-consciously into bed. Sunny deposited the sobbing Tyllae on my chest and drew the covers up and I dimmed the lights and the three of us lay there, not sleeping. Every time I shut my eyes I saw the after-image of the phased-balefire shot that killed Stimbolt and with them opened I couldn’t concentrate on anything but the horrible grief in Tyllaes’ sobs. My personal problems were pretty small apples by comparison so I lay there feeling miserable. I wanted to put an arm around Sunny and hug her but I thought that might be pushing things at this point. I contented myself with easing a hoof up to stroke the sobbing Fey.

Sunny’s hoof crept up, feeling around blindly across my chest until she closed in on Tyllae’s location. I kept stock still, though her touch made me jump within my skin. Our fingers interlaced and we cuddled the little Fey in our hooves. Sometime after midnight she finally drifted off into sleep. I lay awake, unable to sleep and afraid to wake Sunny to talk.
She squirmed and made disgruntled, grumbling noises. Eventually she wriggled around and tugged my free arm out from under my head. She draped it over her and laid her head down on my shoulder with a quiet sigh, quite possibly the most beautiful sound I ever heard.

It was just possible, I decided at that moment, that Everything Would Be All Right, after all...

Chapter Forty One, Vale, Stimbolt

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

VALE, STIMBOLT

Stimbolts’ memorial service was held the next day in the Hangar Bay on deck Eight forward, the midmost deck of the Hermes’s Saucer Section. It’s the second most spacious single structure on the ship after Engineering, narrowly beating out the Rec Deck by a couple hundred cubic feet. It takes the form, roughly, of a forty-degree wide wedge of the Primary Hull extending from decks Seven to Nine at its widest extant aft. The Landing Pad lies at the end of a short tunnel that terminates with the curved twin doors of the Hanger itself. Flight Operations occupies a gallery above it with wide transparent- aluminum windows that afford a panoramic view of the entire working area. Elevators connect it directly with the Main Cargo Bay and it is the only deck on the ship that is rated as a variable-gravity area in the course of operations and is subject to routine depressurization, to boot.

Two of the new boxy shuttlecraft, eight-passenger descendants of the sturdy shuttlepods of a generation ago, squatted off to one side in the Service Area in the company of half-a-dozen assorted workpods and EVA vehicles that are necessary at some point in every voyage. That day the Landing Pad was occupied by a tube-metal framework that functioned as a bier for Stimbolts’ coffin, the casing of a photonic torpedo, and contained a magnetic launcher that would cast his body into the Void between the Stars.

Earlier his body lay in state while the deck was still pressurized so that we all could pay our last respects. Stimbolt was always short but, tucked into the torpedo shell, he struck me as being almost foal-like. It made the tragedy of his passing even more poignant.

I was the last to visit him. By the time I got there members of the crew had left tiny keepsakes and remembrances with him. There were a couple of credit chips, Stimbolt was a deft hoof at poker it seems and his crewmates made it a point to settle their debts. He’d made his mark among the Mares, too. Midshippony Olive Branch and Ensign Quanta both left folded notes like Hearts and Hooves Day cards scented with perfume tucked into his crossed arms near his heart. Xantippe made him a tiny bag of scarlet material, the same shade as his uniform, into which she’d placed various tiny items. She didn’t elaborate and I didn’t press for details but I got the impression that it contained items pertaining to his onboard life as well as a few things reckoned sacred among Zebras. Tyllae left a single, perfect Geeva blossom tucked behind one ear as well as a choice chocolate-chip cookie from her dwindling cache of goodies. (Where she keeps them and how she keeps them fresh is a mystery to me!)

Caper laid his awards on his breast. The Starfleet medals for Conspicuous Gallantry and Performance Above And Beyond The Call Of Duty gleamed against his tunic and the abbreviated gold of a Starfleet Ensign shone on his wrists. The old Pegasus was looking a lot older these days but his features were iron-firm as he paused by the casket, the brightness in his eyes alone betrayed him as he patted Stimbolts cheek softly before turning away.

Dazzle was ahead of me. She stood rigidly as she stared into the casket, her eyes haunted and looking a lot like they did in that Last Awful Moment on the Gorn ship. I’m told by Doctor White-Light, the Third Watch attending Physician, that Tyllae had slipped out of our cabin in the wee hours and had showed up in Sickbay. She’d settled down next to the Chiefs’ head and, according to the good Doctor, sang to her in words he could not understand. She did it for the course of an hour or so, rebuffing the Doctor’s suggestion to let Dazzle rest with an elfin rank-pulling as ‘Number-One Medical Assistant, just ask Sunny! Yep, yep, yep!’ On the theory that the patient was tranked to the gills anyway, he desisted.
Dazzle woke hours ahead of schedule, grimly angry but apparently no worse for the wear. She checked herself out of Sickbay, telling White Light to ‘Zark off!’ when he attempted to get her to stay. He did manage to keep her long enough to verify there was no Medical reason for her to stay. She drew a new uniform and departed with Tyllae to the Galley for an early breakfast. Doctor Fisher had been alerted and ghosted behind her until she gave him the same advice she gave White Light. Tyllae insisted she was going to be ok an interceded on Dazzles’ behalf with Little Rock. Coming back from the dead did a lot for the little Fey’s credibility… the story had already begun to circulate… and Rocky let it be… but he made sure to apprise us both of it that morning.

I watched her closely while trying not to too obvious about it. Magic is all well and good when it comes to healing a broken bone or patching a cut, but a Pony’s mind is a whole lot more complicated and delicate a proposition. I wasn’t the only one who felt the same way. I noticed Doctor Fisher and a couple of Medical Orderlies loitering in the Hangar as part of the crowd. At least one of them, I was sure, was packing a loaded hypo just in case.

She lingered in front of Stimbolt, waiting for the nearby Ponies to disperse a little. I gave her room but my Augment hearing enabled me to catch what she said. She reached out and touched the gold on his sleeve.

“Looks good on you, kid.” She whispered then fidgeted, at a loss to say anything else for a little. No tears brightened her eyes, they only shone with loss and regret. Then, “You did good, kid …I wish I could have done better by you, but there you are. …Aw, Hell!” She leaned in and kissed the room-temperature cheek. “You hold your head high and tell ‘em how it happened. You make sure you tell ‘em how you gave the high-and-mighty Discord the hothoof of his life. He’s gonna regret crossing us yet, you wait and see.” She stroked the cheek she’d kissed. Her hoof faltered just a little. “I’m so sorry, kid. I wish I…” She paused and shut her eyes. I could just imagine what she saw every time she shut them. She dropped her hoof suddenly. “I wish you could have talked more with The Bug. She’s got… a different perspective on things. Maybe you do too, now. It’s just too bad that it takes something like this to make us see what’s really important. If we all did…” She smiled a crooked smile. “But that’s the real trick, isn’t it? To know then what you know now? I don’t like that half-dragon bastard, but I can’t bring myself to hate him… any more. The Bug told me all about him last night. She says he’s completely around the bend, but I guess you know that by now. In the end she couldn’t do anything to stop him. You’re the only one that found a way and he used me to kill you for it!” The last few words were said in such a coldly angry tone that I pricked up my ears, afraid she was going to lose it right then and there. Before I’d realized it I’d shifted my weight, ready to spring forth and restrain her… but whatever Tyllae sang to her in her sleep kicked in. Dazzles’ eyes contemplated the still form in the torpedo casing and she sighed. “Working in Security you get more than a little cynical about the way things work out. You know, jaded! The Bug… Tyllae… says it’s going to be all right in the end. She’s not sure how, herself, but she says we’ve got to have faith. My faith is pretty much used up so I’m going to borrow yours, kid. And with that faith I’m going to help take him down. A few hours ago I just wanted vengeance, now I’d rather see justice. Wave good-bye to him when we send him to Hell and remind him…” She reached up again to chuck the posthumous Ensign under his chin. “Well, what else could he expect? See you later, kid. Take care, ok?”

She stepped away and I hastened to drop my eyes to my boot tips, something I haven’t been able to do easily until recently! Dazzle walked right up to me and I looked up reflexively.

“Starry.” She nodded. “Sorry I took so long. I had some things I wanted to… you know.”

“It’s all right.” I said, trying not to eye her too critically. “I’m not sure what I’m going to tell him, myself.”

“Yeah, I know.” She agreed as she caught my eye. “You ok, Starry?”

“Given the circumstances, yes. Well, as ok as possible.” I conceded. “How about you?”’

“I’m better than I would have thought… thanks to the Bug. You heard what she did when I was in Sickbay?” Dazzle asked rhetorically. She’d been around and knew how fast things get around in the closed community of a starship.

I genuinely like Dazzle so I chose not to insult her by lying. “I heard she came by and had a subliminal talk with you as you slept. She’s got a highly developed empathic sense though she refrains from using it… except in emergencies.”
“Yeah she does!” She agreed. “Turns out it works both ways. She never put it in so many words but I got an idea of what happened on her end. Compared to her and you, my problems are pretty small apples by comparison. I ain’t saying I’ve got nothing to kick about, but I’m not going to get anything useful done crying about it aren’t I? She gave me that much. She let me stand back from it all enough to keep going.” She gave me a level look. “I can’t ever forget that look on his face when I pulled the trigger… but I know, I know he knows it wasn’t my fault because she meant it when she told me. She thought it was important to let me know… even with all that had happened to her.” She shrugged her shoulders. “I trust her. So help me, I trust her!”

I smiled. “She’ll be glad to hear that! She always felt guilty about what she did to your suit back on the Cimarron.”

Dazzle waved the comment away. “Yeah, she mentioned that last night. I told her it was ok. No blood, no foul and don’t worry about it! She’s got a good heart.”

“She does at that.” I had to agree.

Dazzle nodded. “Look, I won’t keep you any longer. We’ve all got stuff to do soon.” She nodded grimly to the torpedo casing. “I just wanted to ask you…” She trailed off and caught my eyes again. “Do you really think that we were meant to find her? Are we all just being forced to play a part in something bigger that we don’t have any control over?” Her eyes bored into mine. She was serious!

I chose my next words carefully. “… Sunny has a book, an actual paper book, where the Hero is asked the same question. He says something like, ‘If I am just a character then right now I feel like strangling the author!’ I can empathize with him! We don’t go in for predestination on Equestris. I’d hate to think that the dark chapters of Equestrian history were somehow necessary as part of some Grand Design. Did we really need the Eugenics Wars and the Romulans? We’re all individuals and we make our own choices to either live with or not. That’s what it all comes down to, choices. We have the opportunity to see this through but there’s no guarantee we’ll like were it goes. In the final analysis I’d have to say that there aren’t good choices or bad choices, just choices. Those who come after us will have to decide on the merit of our decisions. All we can do is to do what we feel is right. If we have the chance to confirm the existence of the Goddesses I think it’s a good thing that we try. We very well may fail but somepony else may sooner or pick up on some other clues and carry on. I don’t know if we were meant to do anything… except try. And that’s all anypony could ask us to do in the end, isn’t it? All our tragedy didn’t happen for nothing. Does that help?”

Dazzle smiled with the corners of her mouth and clapped me on the shoulder. “Damned if I know! I didn’t really expect an answer. Me, I wear a red shirt and toss Ponies into the Brig. What do I know?” She shrugged again, then winked. “Nice to know you’ve been thinking on it, though! Yeah. We gotta try, don’t we? Why else are we here then? Times like this make Ponies ask questions, don’t they?” She dusted her hooves off and made ready to leave.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be going. Think I’ll pick up something heavy and stroll along with a maniacal glint in my eye just to keep my ‘escorts’ on their toes. How’s this?” She pulled a face that was more comical than deranged and strode off to mingle with the crowd.

Though the orderlies looked alarmed, Fisher shot me a questioning look. I shook my head smiled a tired smile. He smiled sheepishly as Dazzle walked by, gathered up his troops, and made a dignified exit.
It was nearly the end of viewing time. As the crowd began to disperse I made my way quickly to where Stimbolt lay, watched over by Rocky and two of his Security Ponies as an Honor Guard.

We neither bury nor cremate our dead on Equestris. The needs of the Colony are too great. That was especially true back in the early days. Equestris abounds in mineral wealth but suffers from a natural dearth of organics and their complex compounds. As distasteful as it sounds to our Terrestrial cousins, we recycle our dead. Corpses go into the tanks to be reclaimed, a far more efficient and sanitary process than sticking dead things in the ground or roasting them to ashes to put in jars on a shelf. In either event, there isn’t enough of an ecosystem beyond the warrens to break the bodies down. In our closed ecology a bit of every Colonist from the Founders onward lives on in every Equestrin in every drop of water and every green ration crumb. It’s just the way we had to do things.

Thus it was that, try as I might, I couldn’t equate the cold, motionless thing before me with the memory of the eager, vibrant young Midshippony I’d met scant months before. The Wake is a tradition we keep alive and well on Equestris. Friends and Family gather ‘round a holo of the deceased and drink and reminisce. Tears are shed, deeds are celebrated and all the while within the bowels of the Colony the patient machinery, originally patented by the Soylent Corporation back in The Bad Old Days, busily adds the guest of honor to a leavening of the biomass gleaned from the rocks of Equestris to be returned to and for the expanding Colony. Not, from my standpoint anyway, any more gruesome than the wasteful concept of a hunk of preservative-infused organics in an overly-elaborate underground box that would never get incorporated back into the ecosystem short of a mountain-building geologic event or the prospect of catching a whiff of somepony you knew on the breeze. (I know what you’re thinking, but it’s still tastier than replicator food!)

Before I’d joined Starfleet the idea of paying last respects to an inanimate corpse would have seemed frankly silly to me. The dead are dead, it’s too bad but life goes on and we all have jobs to do for the sake of the living. That was Equestris and, no doubt, why Earth Ponies think of us as rather cold and unsympathetic. Since then I’ve attended twenty-seven funerals and dozens of memorial services…not all disasters during the War left bodies…and I’ve had ample opportunity to sample how other Ponies did things. Grief is grief no matter who feels it and, it would seem, everypony deals with it in the context of their own culture. There was nothing I could think of saying to Stimbolt at this late date. As far as I was concerned, anything I could say would be solely for my own benefit to make myself feel better. I don’t like to think I’m that selfish in the face of tragedy. I’m sorry I never knew Stimbolt better. He was a nice enough little buck and a crackerjack Engineer to boot. I had no doubt that, even if he didn’t save all of us, he gave the rest of us the chance to do the best we could. He stepped up and got the job done and I’ll honor him forever for that. Discord had a lot to answer for and if I ever got the chance to come to grips with him again I wouldn’t suffer any qualms about putting him down any more than he did about killing this selfless, eager young Engineer. …But, even then, I didn’t believe for an Andorian minute that his disembodied spirit was hovering around the room to hear our comments on his behalf. The unvarnished truth, as far as I was concerned, was that the vital spark of what consisted of him had been snuffed out on Cestus-III. He was my responsibility and I failed him… that we were pitted against the Master of Chaos or not didn’t figure into it. I did my level best to save him but it wasn’t enough. I wish it could be otherwise but, like we say back on Equestris, ‘Wish in one hoof and grab a hoof-full of recycler gloop in the other. Ball your fists and see which one is real.’ That’s the difference, I guess, between Equestria and Equestris. The best thing I could do for Stimbolt would be to work my best to make sure we came out on top in the end. And if I ever got to meet the Goddesses, well …I’d make sure they heard all about Stimbolt and the price he paid.

In the meantime his culture demanded that certain things had to be done and I had one more duty to perform. I stood there in front of his body in silence and considered the thing lying there. The corpse looked so serene and at peace, so unlike those last terrible seconds when he looked at me for help I just couldn’t give. What could I do for him now that I couldn’t do then except follow the rituals his culture expected?

A hoof touched my arm, almost making me start. Sunny stood next to me and twined her hoof around mine, her lovely lavender eyes looked up at me with tender understanding.

“’Tis enough that ye’re here, ye ken.” She said softly. “Th’ laddie’d no ask anything more from ye than what ye can give. Sure n’ he’d understand it were he here.” She tousled the buck’s mane tenderly. “This is from th’ two o’ us, Stimbolt-me-lad. Sleep well, now.” Sunny leaned in and kissed our newest Ensign before gathering me up in as much of a hug as she could manage.

With one arm I reached out and closed the lid of the torpedo casing, the seals clicked shut quietly and the Security Guard of Honor draped the Federation flag over it before withdrawing to a respectful distance again. I saw that the Hangar Crew had brought them their environment suits on antigrav carts. Looking up I could see Caper and Dazzle suiting up. A Tech came up with our suits on a cart and waited patiently.
One last duty to perform…

* * *

We suited up and checked each others seals as the Hanger Deck rigged for depressurization. We waited patiently while our suits stiffened up ever so slightly as, bit by bit, the air was pumped out of the Hangar. Eventually the voice of the Flight Controller came over our comms.

“Pressure zero. Gravity zero. Opening Hangar doors.”

The curved surface of the twin doors of the Shuttle Bay pulled apart slowly and the panorama of the stars streaming over our Warp Field a scant hundred feet beyond the hull peered in to witness the proceedings.

Caper cleared his throat and we all came to attention.

“Question heard most at times like this is ‘Why?’.” He said, his voice and a view of the proceedings being piped to all the terminals of the Hermes. There was something almost indefinably odd in Caper’s voice. A certain thickness was apparent that made me wonder if he’d been drinking before the ceremony. No… that couldn’t be it, he’d been fine moments before. I turned my body to look at him. He ignored me and forged on.

“Exploration is dangerous business even when just Space is being explored. This mission, though, we find ourselves exploring more than Space. Nature of our present mission is now journey toward heart and soul of Ponykind. Some would say we are re-covering old ground, Posterity will have to make judgment of that but no historian would deny that we stand on edge of making discoveries… or perhaps re-discoveries… that will have profound implications for ourselves and all members of Federation as well as Galaxy at large. Comrade Stimbolt was fully aware of that in same way that he was aware that momentous discoveries sometimes come at costly price. Each and every one of us in Starfleet are prepared to pay that price for sake of those we leave behind at home.”

Caper paused for a long moment while I frowned inside my helmet. His accent had always been a bit thick and it got thicker under stress. This didn’t strike me as his usual tone… it seemed almost like slurring, especially on soft consanants.

“Discord, concept as well as Being, has long been greatest obstacle our kind has faced in our long history. We as a species have prevailed against both before. The gallant and worthy deeds of Ensign Stimbolt show that we are still capable of rising to occasion in best tradition of our race. I am as proud of him as I am of all of you on this ship.” He paused once again and drew a deep breath before continuing. I thought I detected a catch in that breath. Well… it was an emotional moment and Caper had always been notoriously protective of the Ponies under his command. I certainly wasn’t going to blame him for feeling a sense of loss! I made a determined effort to stop nitpicking.

“Today we gather to pay final honors to this young Stallion and to give his body back to the Cosmos from which we all came. His Spirit precedes us in our voyage… perhaps even now he has achieved the goal we have yet to attain and rests for while under Divine Wings to wake into world we have allowed ourselves to forget in our Troubles.” The old Pegasus drew himself up and squared his shoulders. “I, for one, would like to think so. Farewell, Comrade Stimbolt. You were first of us to die on this voyage… Celestia and Luna grant you are last.” He came to attention and slowly, solemnly saluted. We all followed suit as the ancient melody of ‘Taps’ played over the ships audio systems. As the music ended the torpedo on its launcher began its slow slide forward. As Caper reached out and made the first fold in the Federation Flag another tune began. The old Equestrian Anthem, a nearly forgotten song that was experiencing a revival on the Hermes as well as Equestris, swelled from our speakers.

As it passed along the pallbearers each one completed another fold. I was at the end of the line. I made the final fold, compacting the flag into a triangular wedge with the laurel-wreathed circular field of the Home Systems of the Federation displayed before picking it up and holding it to me. I led the Landing Party and I would make sure Stimbolt’s family received it when… and if… I returned to Earth.

The torpedo left the launcher and drifted away as the music played. I was told, later, that many voices took up the tune just like in the Aluminum Horseshoe back Home. I was glad and was sure Stimbolt would have appreciated it.

We’d calculated the speed of the launcher to give enough time for the song to play before the torpedo crossed the Warp boundary. Unlike the Hermes, which performed billions of calculations per second to maintain speed and heading, Stimbolt was on a purely ballistic trajectory moving independently of us. From our viewpoint he pursued a slow, right handed corkscrew course as he left the hangar. Unseen by us, the starboard phased-balefire bank pulsed twenty-one times at one percent power firing over his body in tribute.

As he approached the boundary between subspace and normal space the Anthem played out.

“Unite our Herd as one… group… strong!”

With no inertial dampening or Warp Field of his own Stimbolt re-entered normal space trying to decelerate from one hundred twenty-five ‘c’ to just under lightspeed in accordance to the physical laws codified by Hindstein centuries before. All that psuedomomentum would be converted almost instantaneously to heat and light in normal space. Stimbolts final memorial would be a brief, bright flash of radiation, a megaton-range firework display that, years hence, would just be detectable from Earth by those who knew where to look. We wouldn’t see it, of course, since we were moving one hundred twenty-five times faster than the event. All that was visible from our side was the smearing effect as his torpedo crossed the Warp Field, a peculiar elongation haloed by a red-shift the instant before he disappeared from view.

Stimbolt was well and truly gone, his body as well as his essence now moved on to higher states of being. The Hangar doors slid slowly shut. Rocky and the Honor Guard made their way toward the bulkhead, waiting for the pressurization cycle to doff their suits and get back to their duties. Sunny stayed where she stood, gazing at the Hangar doors, bidding a final farewell maybe.

Caper stood near her and there was something naggingly wrong with the way he half-crouched, his forearms partially drawn in and constantly in motion half-fumbling toward the instrument clusters on his chest and wrists again and again. A Red Alert went off in my head the same instant I heard him make a strange, gurgled strangling sound. He clutched urgently at one of Sunny’s gauntlets as he turned toward her. One hoof came off the deck and hung there limply, his body anchored to the deck by the magnetic sole of one boot for just a moment until he convulsed. He went halfway into a fetal position… I could see his wings pushing against the material of his environment suit as he strove to unfurl them in his panic.

Sunny beat me to the comm circuit by a nanosecond! “Belay, avast, eighty-six th’ bloody gravity n’ get some air in here!” She fumbled with one hoof to access the readouts on Caper’s suit, her other locked onto the Captains in… what I hoped… wasn’t a death-grip! “Medical Emergency in th’ Hanger!” She called out on all frequencies. “Full Emergency Team! Th’ Captain’s a-havin’ a stroke!”

Author's Note

The book Starry refers to is part of the Amber series by Roger Zelazny. A rollicking good Fantasy, check it out! Oh, and it's true! On Equestris, Soylent Green (Apples) is made our of Ponies!

Chapter Forty Two- The Last Command

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

The Last Command

Acting Captains log, Stardate 1012.5, Commander Starry-Eyes recording. We are on course in Cruise Mode for the Epsilon Pegasus System at Time Warp Factor six point one. All ships systems are good with modifications to Sensory and ongoing repairs to Computer Core proceeding as planned.

Captain Caper has been in a coma for the last three days, his condition remains critical. The Chief Medical Officer has determined that microscopic particles of scar tissue from our earlier encounter with the Klingons have become detached and have become lodged within his brain resulting in severe… perhaps fatal…damage. Surgery is not possible and I am told that the particles are so tiny that no Conjuring Spell is finely tuned enough to remove them without taking healthy tissue along with it. The cure would be worse than the condition in this case. Chemical therapies have, to date, been ineffectual in dissolving them. There are limits, it seems, to what Twenty-Third Century Medical Arcaneoscience can do…

Captain Caper’s brain is still active, though at a borderline vegetative state. There have been inconclusive indications that it is possible that at least some of his cognitive functions are still intact, though for how long is anyponys guess. Life-support mechanisms can keep his body alive for the remainder of his natural life but whether or not somepony is still in there is a matter of debate.

In accordance to Starfleet Regulations, based on these findings, I have taken Command of the Hermes as of zero eight hundred hours this morning at the behest of Doctor Solar Cross and on behalf of the best interests of the ship and crew. I am determined to carry out our Mission as the Captain would have us. … Turning back is not an option in any event.

Although we have regained control of our Helm and can return to Federation Space what would this accomplish? No single vessel, no Task Force the Federation could field could hope to stand against the Lord of Chaos in a straight fight. Caper believes… believed… as do I that it is best to keep Discord’s attention focused out here and away from the Federation at large. Although we have detected no indications of such, I’m sure that he lies in wait for us somewhere out here. I am certain he is fixated on us and I would much rather have him hounding us rather than having him run rampant through the civilized Galaxy.

Therefore we continue on course to the anomalies we’ve detected in the Pegasus stargroup. We continue to deploy marker buoys with time-delay updates to Starfleet concerning our experiences in dealing with Discord including suggestions, based on our prior efforts, on how to possibly fight him. For fight him we shall have to. Any attempt at clemency would, in my opinion, be fruitless despite urgings by Tyllae and Doctor Sekkack to the contrary. It is my opinion that any method that can separate Discord from the Power he controls… or is controlled by… would be fatal to him. No balephaser weapon exists that could just ‘stun’ him and we cannot hope to muster a level of Arcane Power to match the Prism. Our only hope lies in using the methods pioneered by Ensign Stimbolt. To that end we have modified elements of our Sensor Suite to broadcast on select high-frequency bands of subspace. We are also attempting to retool the balephaser banks to emit in subspace frequencies. It isn’t an easy task, a rebuild like this is best handled at a Spacedock! Even worse is the fact that it will leave us relatively vulnerable in the event we get jumped by somepony more conventionally armed. For precisely that reason I’ve held off trying to modify our torpedoes. We can’t afford to be so helpless in the face of the unknown.

The promised notion from Tyllae’s Last Trip to the Other Side seems to have panned out. What she heard in the ‘Star-Wind’ is hard for her to describe or understand it seems. She tells us that ‘It isn’t time yet. Tyllae will know when it happens!’ I’ve made it abundantly clear to her that we need to know what to do now… with predictable results. If I were in a sour mood I would say that this is just what you’d expect to happen when you rely on Magic too much. Starry-Eyes, out".

I thumbed off the recorder and plucked the media out of the armrest of the Command Chair and handed it to the waiting Xantippe who took it with quiet Zebrican grace as well as a knowing smile.

“Were I in an ironic mood, I’d roll my eyes and say ‘If you were in a sour mood?’”

I favored the Yoemare with a dark look she didn’t believe for an instant. “Caper was right you are darn annoying at times, you know that? No wonder he spent so much time ducking you!”

“Bark all you want if it makes you feel all right.” Xantippe assumed a superior air. “I know you too well to fear your bite!” Then, more quietly, “I heard your recording but still I hope. Is Captain Caper truly at the end of his rope?”

I sighed. “You heard what Sunny said. She’s done all she can. It could happen at any time. Whenever I’m up here I’m half afraid I’ll get The Call from Sickbay…”

I kid you not! At the very moment the two-tone bosun’s whistle of an incoming call sounded on the Bridge followed by Sunny’s voice. “Sickbay t’ th’ Bridge!”

The sheer coincidence made me raise my eyebrows. Xantippe gasped, clutched her amulet, and made an averting motion with her padd laden hoof. The ears of everypony on the Bridge perked up as they all held their breaths. I signaled to the Comm.

“I’ll take it down here, Merry.”

“Roight! Let’s keep our fingers crossed, you lot!” She tabbed her console carelessly. “Go ahead, Skipper.” An awkward silence followed for an instant. ‘Skipper’ is how she always referred to Captain Caper and it didn’t feel right for me to answer to it. She caught herself too late and offered me an apologetic look. “Sorry ‘bout that, Boss Lady… er, Boss!”

“Never mind.” I said evenly. I tapped the comm set on the chair.

“Starry here, Sunny.” I swallowed quickly. “How’s the Captain? Is he…”

“Nay, nay.” She hurried to assure us all. “There’s naught different there. I just need t’ see ye as soon as ye can manage it. Tis a matter concernin’ th’ Captain.”

“I don’t understand.” I said, frowning. “If there’s no change in his condition then why do you want me down there?”

“I dinna want t’ say over open comm.” The edge of irritation in her voice made me wonder just what was going on in Sickbay. “How soon can ye come then?”

I glanced at the chronometer between Helm and Navigation, glad that I could read it. (It took me over two hours… they told me… to track Tyllae down after her sulk to get her to revoke that spell!) It read fourteen hundred oh-seven minutes, fifty-three minutes to go on the Watch. I chewed my lip for a moment. Whatever was on Sunny’s mind sounded important enough that I could justify leaving early.

“Just let me arrange a replacement and I’ll be right there, ok?”

“Right. We’ll be here. Sickbay done, out, whatever!” She broke the connection and I raised an eyebrow at that ‘we’.

“If I may be allowed to say, you should get down there right away! From the sound of it, she’s chomping at the bit.” Xantippe murmured with downcast eyes.

“And ‘er bite’s worse’n ‘er bark, eh Starry? Ya better get steppin’, eh, eh?” The irrepressible Merry swiveled in her seat, grinning.

It was one thing to be sitting on the sidelines watching it happen to Caper. Being the focus of it myself was quite another!

“All right! All right! I’m going already!” I carefully put my palms on the too-tiny armrests of the crowded arms of the too-tiny Command Chair and pried myself out of its tight confines. Jerry promised two days ago to get it remodeled to accommodate my physique, but they were so backlogged by the Computer rebuild as well as reworking the Balephaser banks that such a relatively low-priority job kept getting pre-empted. Well, I could put up with being unable to open my knees for a while longer. I wished they could at least make the tail-hole bigger. Every time I come in for a landing in the thing I have precisely one chance to get the thing in there straight. Sooner or later it’s going to double up and I’ll have a painful and embarrassing accident! I mean, really now! How hard could it be? Give me a vibrocutter and half an hour and I could have the job done. It might not be aesthetically pleasing but it would make my life that much easier!

I stood and stretched, suppressing the urge to rub my cramped thighs and butt… though I did shake out my tail. “Merry! My compliments to Mr. Kirk and could he please report to the Bridge early? Advise him that I’ll relieve him for the last hour of his Watch.”

“Oy’m on it, Boss!” She turned back to her board as I contemplated the Chain of Command I’d have to redo. Jerry was in Engineering and I hadn’t appointed a new Chief Science Officer yet. I’d planned to nominate Melody but that wasn’t official yet. I was going to eschew the Executive Officer Position for the time being, though I was tempted to fob it off on Jerry the way Caper did with me. The next pony in the chain would be the Chief Helm Officer, therefore…

“Lieutenant Evee, you have the Conn. I’ll be in Sickbay.” I reached out to clap her lightly on her shoulder and took a step toward the turbolift.

“Aye-aye, Ma-… Sir!” She said brightly. “I’ll just stay here till Mr. Kirk shows up, though. That chair’s too big for me!”

“Prolly all stretched outa shape boy now! ‘Nother day loik this and the poor thing’ll be all sprung out loike me ol’ Dads easy chair back ‘Ome!” Merry chortled as my ears drooped flat against my head.

“Yeah, well that’s just the, uh, weight of all the responsibility involved with the job. So there!” I mounted the upper deck of the Bridge with all the dignity I could muster.

“It’s loik they say. Uneasy’s the chair that bears the butt that bears the ol’ Boss! Eh? Eh?” Merry observed. Muted groans, chuckles, and winces swept the Bridge as I stopped just short of the sensors of the turbolift.

“Oh, one more thing Merry.” I cocked a leg. “Call Corporal Punishment to the Bridge. Never mind, here I am!” I administered a scaled-back savate kick to the seat of her chair alongside her tail! Merry hammed it up, clutching her chair and rocking it like we were in a force-ten Ion Storm.

“Oi! Black-and Blue Alert!” She squalled. " Come see the violence inherent in the System! Oy wanna cheap lawyer!”

Xantippe, who’d followed me up, leaned out from behind with an observation of her own.

“There is a lesson to be learned from your applesauce; tender is the butt that crosses The Boss!” Even Merry guffawed!

I stepped closer and opened the turbolift for Xantippe. She shuffled in with politely downcast eyes and a smug smile. I crowded in with her. As the doors closed Merry got in a good-natured last word.

“Bloody suck-up!”

Xantippe got out a few decks before me, on her way to the Captain’s Office to transcribe the log entry and forward the reports that had accumulated over the previous day to the computer terminal in our room for me to electronically sign. I continued on alone and contemplated the implications of the, pardon the expression, horseplay on the Bridge.

Caper’s condition had flashed through the ship in less than a quarter-hour after he’d fallen. I’d made no move to conceal it whatsoever. Morale on a Starship can be a tricky thing, especially on small-crewed ones like the Hermes. The loss of a well-loved officer could and, in the past, had wrought havoc on many a ship. Caper’s illness, coming as it did hard on the hooves on the tragic loss of Stimbolt had the potential to severely disrupt the sense of unity and teamwork onboard. I’d been holding my metaphorical breath ever since the funeral in anticipation of seeing how things would fall out. I’d been keeping my eyes and ears open in the Rec Room, Galley, and the corridors keeping a low a profile as I could in my new gold-yellow uniform to gauge the status of the Crew. Thus far it had been a case of so far so good but Caper’s death, should it come, had the potential of being a tipping point. I was well-liked and, I hoped, trusted by the Crew. More importantly, they knew that Caper trusted me. But push had not come to shove yet, the ship itself had not come face to face with Discord…

I exchanged greetings with Willowbark and the Nurses and made my way to Sunny’s office where I found my Love behind her desk moodily sipping tea and casting the occasional dark glance at the patient form of Mr. Sekkack sitting upright on a nearby chair with his paws folded in his lap. Tyllae was crouched on a padd near Sunny’s elbow playing one of those games involving brightly colored geometric shapes that had to be flipped and turned in order to slip them into place with like colored groups that would go up in a blaze of electronic pyrotechnics and allow everything stacked above them to settle downward to change the dynamics of the playing field. Her antennae were erect with concentration and her little wings quivered in excitement as her hooves skittered across the face of the padd almost too fast for me to keep track. She caught sight of me as I entered and smartly rapped the pause control before launching herself at my chest. Old habits die hard, it seems!

I caught her like a spatball and tucked her into my elbow, making her squeal with delight. “How goes the game, Squirt? What level are you on?”

“Dunno! This many!” She extricated herself and flitted back to the padd, giving it a smart buck with her hindlegs to spin it in my direction so I could take a peek. Teaching Tyllae to read was becoming a lost cause. To the little tyke pictures were worth far more than boring old words.

I gave the padd a quick glance and raised my eyebrows in surprise. “Level sixty-four? Wow!” It was a rather simple children’s game… the kind that many adults find so fascinating… that basically kept becoming more and more difficult until it was frankly impossible to win. … I never got past level twenty-nine, myself, but my fingers are so big it’s hard for me to manipulate the thing accurately. …That’s my story and I’m sticking with it!

“Tyllae is very dexterous and her reactions are commensurately in proportion.” Sekkack put in. “Good afternoon, Captain.” He added with a civil nod.

“Acting Captain, Mr. Sekkack. Caper is still alive and my rank is hardly official until and unless Starfleet approves it.” I said apologetically.

Sekkack regarded me serenely. “And yet you wear a Captain’s uniform. It is my understanding, in any event, that the officer in Command of a ship is customarily referred to as ‘Captain’ regardless of their actual rank. From what I gather from your Service Record it seems to me that the promotion is overdue. I regret that I have spoken in error.”

“My choice of uniform,” I began carefully, squelching a temptation to be irritated at the Vulcan. “Is for the sake of the Crew. They need to see a Captain on the Bridge, that somepony they trust is in Command. You are not in error…outside of a presumption that I want this command. I’m not taking Caper’s ship from him. I’m taking care of it until he can return. If, if ,I seek a command I’ll earn it and not inherit it over my friends’ dead body. Have I illuminated you, Doctor Sekkack?” I held his eyes with a frank gaze for a pair of long seconds.

“The nuances of Equestrian and Equestrin psychology have not been my fields of study, though my time aboard this vessel has been very instructive.” The Vulcan conceded quietly. “Again, I regret that I have spoken in error. I stand corrected, Acting Captain.” He gave me another formal nod and relapsed into silence, staring forward at nothing at all.

A soft, elfin nose nuzzled my ear. “Don’t be mad, Starry! Remember Vulcan Way all differnt from ‘Questrin! Mister See-kack not being mean at all! Nope, nope, nope!”

I reached up to poke the tiny Faery. “I’m not mad, Squirt. I’m just clearing up a case of misunderstanding. I’m positive Doctor Sekkack isn’t angry either. I wouldn’t insult him by implying that he was.”

Sekkack extended a palm for the Fey to land on. “I cannot become angry, Tyllae. Anger is unproductive… and I do not indulge in unproductive behavior.”

From her perch, Tyllae regarded us both with elfin exasperation. “Well… Tyllae is nice enough not to call any of Tyllaes’ friends big fibbers. All Tyllae will say is that everybody all…” She frowned in concentration, casting an eye at the Vulcan. “Wondering ‘bout Poor Cappy Caper. Alla folk wonder if poor Cappy Caper gonna wake up soon. Some,” She darted a hairy, Faery eye at Sekkack. “Worry that it never happen, thatta why Tyllae ask Mister See-Kack to come. Mr. See-Kack can help, yep, yep, yep!”

I regarded the mismatched pair before me a moment, only then becoming aware of Sunny tapping the rim of her teacup with a stylus as her never copious store of patience began to run out. I looked her way.

“Ok. I’m officially lost! What’s happening, Sunny?”

“Nay, nay! Dinna fash yersel’ on me account! Go ahead n’ compare notes on bloody video games or debate grand notions o’ Miltry Protocol, do! Celestia knows I’ve naught better t’ do!” She harrumphed, giving me a baleful look. “Just let me know when ye’ve time t’ git ‘round t’ me, I’ll wait right here, won’t I?”

I stepped up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Sorry, Sunny. I got distracted. Now, what’s so important that I had to leave the Bridge?”

“Think that gets ye off th’ hook, do ye?” She said in a definitely less snarky voice. “Well…” She dealt me a return kiss straight on the lips, just lascivious enough to make Tyllae giggle, Sekkack look away, and make me stiffen in embarrassment. Again and forever… Alicorns!

“Right!” She broke off and spoke briskly. “Down t’ business!” She drew a fortifying breath and drew herself up in her chair. “’Tis been three days now since th’ Good Captain went into coma. We’ve done what we could to rouse him to no good effect. Ye all know that n’ I put it into th’ ships records. Well, imagine my surprise when I get a message from the ships bloody computer bearin’ a copy o’ Captain Capers’ living will. Apparently tis Starfleet Procedure for th’ thing t’ do a search for such in these cases!”

I nodded. “That’s right. I thought you knew.”

“I most certainly did not! It’s th’ practice o’ any decent Hospital t’ give th’ patient n’ the Staff more time t’ find a cure or t’ come out o’ it on their own. Starfleet, t’would seem, expects its patients t’ be more efficient n’ not be a bloody bother!” Sunny glared at the inboard bulkhead that housed the Computer Core.

I flicked my tail over the corner of her desk and carefully leaned on it. It gave a quiet creak and put up no further complaint. “All right, the problem lies in Capers’ living will?”

“Tis all in here.” Sunny had a hard copy of the document and slid it my way. “Th’ Good Captain’s a bit o’ a fatalist t’would seem. He wishes no heroic measures be taken t’ preserve his life. He also states that, should he lapse into vegetative state, he should be taken off life support n’ be allowed t’ die.”

“But he’s not on life support, at least not yet.” I pointed out as I scanned the document. It was pretty standard wording, only needing the declarers’ name to be inserted in the requisite places. “Ok, what’s got you worked up?”

“There’s a provision that, if he ends up in a nonresponsive state, he wishes t’ be bloody euthanized! If yon tisn’t a reason t’ be ‘worked up’ what is?” Sunny demanded. “Yon Starfleet gives him three mortal days t’ recover! Just three! Medical history is full o’ cases o’ Ponies who recover on their own if given enough time! Tis monstrous t’ simply take th’ chance away from a patient fer the sake o’ a bloody regulation made by a bloody bunch o’… o’ accountants!” She shrilled, slapping the stylus down on the table with a crack!

I scanned the thing again, paying attention to the pertinent clauses. I cleared my throat quietly. “I see…” I steeled myself for what was coming. “But these are his last wishes, Sunny, and they’re perfectly legal. Caper knew and understood what he was talking about. I understand where you’re coming from… and I sympathize, I really do… but…”

“’But’ me no buts, Laddie!” Sunny barked. “I’m no gwin’ t’ kill a Pony who may recover on his own wi’ proper medical care!”

“Or he may not.” I countered as gently as possible. “Doesn’t he deserve the dignity of making that choice for himself?”

“Tis suicide n’ suicide is no a decision a rational person makes!” Sunny snapped back. “I willna condone it if there’s a chance he’s still aware in there! Celestia n’ Luna save me, I may be workin’ fer the bloody Miltry but I still have me conscience t’ answer to!”

“Starfleet is not a Military Arm of the Federation, per se.” Sekkack pointed out in a neutral voice. “Though it is governed by many of the same rules and restrictions.”

“You bloody stay out o’ it!” Sunny rounded on him, her eyes blazing with righteous wrath! “I’ll no be dictated to in me own Sickbay by a gang o’ braid-wearin’, swaggerin’…”

“I cannot ‘stay out of it’, Doctor.” Sekkack’s’ expressionless eyes held hers as he continued. “I was asked to participate in these proceedings. Since I can be of service I am ethically bound to do my best to help as a member of this Crew.” He raised his arm to show Sunny his sleeve and carried on, unperturbed. “I am not a soldier, Vulcans are not soldiers and do not practice violence. I serve onboard in any capacity I am able to.”

“Bloody Vulcan ethics!” Sunny sneered, ready to launch into another tirade.

“That’s enough, Sunny! Clam up and calm down! You’re not accomplishing anything acting like this.” I didn’t raise my voice. Caper never had to and neither did I. Shouting at Sunny was a no-win proposition, anyway. “Who asked whom what and why?”

Tyllae had been watching the exchange half-cringing on the desktop looking unsure and wary. At my question she flitted a little way into the air. It hurt me that she kept pointedly out of Sunny’s reach.

“Tyllae did.” She said in a small voice. “Tyllae wanted to help. Sunny said Sunny needed to talk to Cappy Caper before Sunny would do anything. Tyllae can hear Un-spoken words but Cappy Caper’s are so faint Tyllae can’t hear. Tyllae knows Mr. See-Kack can hear. Mr. See-Kack has Ways Faeries do not. Tyllae thinks Sunny won’t let Cappy Caper Go On to Pony Other Side ‘less Cappy Caper says to. Tyllae promised nice, nice, nice Cappy Caper that Tyllae would help any way Tyllae can. Tyllae was trying to help.” She repeated miserably.

Sunny had wrapped her arms around herself and was breathing through pinched nostrils, forcing herself into a semblance of calm.

“As I stated in me Log,” She said tensely. “I willna be party t’ murder whatever th’ legal niceties say!” She fixed the Faery with a glare that made her drop back to the desktop and hide behind Sekkack’s elbow. “Tyllae acted on her own at no behest o’ mine t’ fetch yon alien hatchetpony t’ force me hoof!”

“If I understand the situation correctly…” Sekkack’s eyes held neither compassion nor judgment. “As long as you could maintain no evidence that the Captain’s personality still exists you felt you could thwart his last wishes on purely moral grounds merely to keep from having to make an emotionally painful decision. You would keep a corpse alive but you cannot bring yourself to end a doomed life at the behest of that life.” He slowly raised his left eyebrow. “The convolutions of Pony rationality are… fascinating.”

“He isna necessarily doomed, damn ye!”

“Neither is he assured of recovery.” Sekkack countered. “It must also be taken into account that, if he is indeed conscious, he may be suffering needlessly. Add to that is the fact that, as an inferior officer, you are obligated to obey the orders of your superiors. These orders were issued by the Captain when he was of sound mind and body. Since he has never been declared unfit to issue these orders you have no other logical recourse than to discharge them as dictated.” The Vulcan ground out his points remorselessly then paused. The glacial eyes didn’t thaw, but there was something indefinably softer in them as he added. “Do not think me to be heartless, Doctor. Vulcans indeed understand the difficulty of making, for lack of a more precise term… emotional decisions. You may consult with Tyllae for verification about this. I will say no more on that subject. For whatever worth it is to you… I grieve with thee.”

Tyllae emerged timidly and flitted forward. “Cappy Caper is like poor, poor, poor Tyllae when Tyllae was a little stachoo buried all alone inna ground, Sunny! Can’t move, can’t talk, can’t cry. All stuck, not really alive an’ not dead. Tyllae never ever gonna forget how bad, bad, bad it felt being made into stone. Not right to have happen to anypony, not Faeries, not Nightmare Moon, not even Discord! If somepony gave poor, poor, poor Tyllae chance to go Other Side, Tyllae would have been very, very, very glad! Yep, yep, yep! What good is being alive if not allowed to live, Sunny?”

“But ye were saved in th’ end.” Sunny whispered.

“Maka no nevermind!” Tyllae retorted. “Every second Tyllae lay inna ground was forever, Sunny! Yes, yes, yes! Tyllae all alive now but nightmares never stop an’ poor Tyllae never same as before! Nope, nope, nope! Tyllae gonna suffer alla resta Tyllae’s life. If Tyllae knew then what Tyllae knows now… Tyllae would have been happier to die. Tyllae would still have had Other Side an’ alla Tyllae’s family an’ friends forever.” She flitted cautiously closer to Sunny and stroked her nose with one tiny hoof. “If Tyllae hada choice to let a friend live in pain or sleep in peace Tyllae would choose mercy. Cappy Caper very, very, very wise like Chief Faery should be an’ Cappy Caper chose mercy too, Sunny.”

Sunny regarded the hovering Fey as if she’d never seen her before. “D’ye ken what yer sayin’?” She asked, incredulously. “Yer askin’ me t’ kill, or at th’ least to authorize th’ killin’, o’ a patient under me care! Does he no deserve th’ same chance o’ livin’ ye yerself had? …Or is yer life now wi’ us so verra, verra terrible that ye’d no wish it ‘pon anypony else?”

Tyllae looked at her with stricken eyes. “Tyllae is very, very, very happy to be alive with Sunny an’ Starry. Tyllae loves Sunny an’ Starry an’ alla new friends. Yep, yep, yep! But Tyllae is very last little Faery onna This Side. Tyllae is very, very, very tired an’ lonely. Even now Tyllae issa still a Faery an’ Tyllae will outlive alla nice, nice, nice Ponies. Even Sunny an’ Starry! How many more friends will Tyllae love an’ leave behind? Even big, big, big Faery heart can only break so many times, Sunny. Now Tyllae gonna die… maybe lots sooner thanks to Discord… an’ Tyllae has no Other Side to go to now. What choice would Sunny make in Tyllae’s place, Tyllae wonders?” She paused to sniffle piteously.

“Tyllae never hada chance to make choice for self. Cappy Caper does. Cappy Caper did! Not fair to take brave choice away from such a good, good, good Pony, Sunny! Not fair at all, nope, nope, nope!” She fluttered down to perch on the swelling of Sunny’s breast and nuzzled her.

“Tyllae gotta be true to self. Tyllae promised to help. All Faeries promised to help nice, silly, confoozled Ponies, Sunny. ‘Sokay if Sunny wants to hate Tyllae now. Tyllae will still love Sunny. Maybe Sunny will unnerstan’ some day, Tyllae hopes so!”

Sunny raised her hooves, at first to support the little thing that lay against her, then to hug her tight. She bent her head to kiss the tiny head with the tears beading bright at the corners of her tightly shut eyes. When she spoke again her voice was barely audible, intended perhaps, just for the Fey.

“Aye, then ‘tis just an example o’ th’ difference ‘tween Faeries n’ Ponies, innit? I dinna ken tha’ I’ll ever understand, me wee Sprite, but tisn’t in me t’ hate yer wee self. Not ever.” She cleared her throat and looked up, blinking back the tears. She regarded me wearily, her emotions spent for the moment.

“Sure n’ ye’ve been mighty quiet now!” She said. “Tis it t’ be three t’ one ‘gainst me now?”

“No pony is ganging up on you, Sunny.” I said softly. “Believe it or not, I really sympathize with your position. I really do. Captains… and First Officers… have to make decisions that send good Ponies to their deaths. It’s part of our job to have to make these choices for the good of the ship and the Federation. …But we don’t often have to sit and care for the ones we give those orders to and watch them die, do we?” I reached out and gave her arm a squeeze. She disengaged one hoof from Tyllae to take mine and squeeze it back.

“Remember what Caper always said?” I said gently. “Whatever happens to any of the Crew is the Captain’s responsibility. For better or worse, I’m the Captain now. I’ll duly note your protest in my log and I will absolve you of any responsibility in what comes. It’ll be my decision and mine alone. Fair enough?”

Sunny regarded me for long, long moments before raising my hoof to her lips, her eyes shining. “Aye. Seems t’ me that no so long ago I took an oath that mentioned ‘Fer better or worse’, didn’t I? Before that I took another one to do no harm t’ any Pony in me care. I’m caught ‘tween th’ two o’ them, aren’t I?” She sighed, whether for myself or her I could not tell. “Tis too great a responsibility fer one Pony t’ bear. I’ll withdraw me protest n’ we’ll share whatever blame there is together. That’s as fair as I can manage it, may Celestia n’ Luna forgive us both!” She drew a shuddering breath and hugged my hoof to her alongside Tyllae who watched with troubled eyes.

“Let’s hope that this will all be moot and we’ve worked ourselves up for nothing.” I disengaged from her reluctantly and turned toward the patiently waiting Vulcan. I nodded to him. “What do you propose to do, Mister Sekkack? Tyllae is the most accomplished empath I know. If she can’t make contact with whatever is left of Caper what can you hope to accomplish?”

Sekkack quirked an eyebrow at me. “How many other empaths do you know, Acting Captain?”

“Touché.” I rolled my eyes. “I misspoke. I should have said that Tyllae is the only one I’m aware of.”

“Vulcan joke, Starry!” Tyllae whispered, giggling.

“I'm sure neither of us has any idea what you're referring to, Squirt.” I deadpanned. “As I was saying, Mister Sekkack...?”

Sekkack folded his paws in his lap sedately before he spoke. “Vulcans have certain extrasensory disciplines unique to our species.” He began. “Among which is an ability to assume direct contact with another mind. You may consider it to be a temporary melding of two minds into a single entity between two bodies. If I may anticipate your next question, yes, it is possible with certain other species including Equestrians. The process is very demanding and personal in nature involving, as it does, a complete lowering of personal boundaries. I am given to understand that it can be quite unsettling when performed with more emotional species.”

“I... see.” I lied. “Then you have never done this with another non-Vulcan before? What dangers, if any, are involved?”

“To answer you first question, no I have not. It is done between Vulcans on certain... ceremonial occasions that Outsiders are not normally privy to. I am, however, conversant with the protocols involved in cross-species Melding. It is not a subject we speak about in casual conversation.” Sekkack averted his eyes politely and I didn't pursue the topic any further.

“In regards to your second question,” He continued. “There exists a tendency for the two minds to resist separation. Third parties are preferred to be in attendance to assure that this takes place. Because the dominant mind will tend to adjust the subjects’ physiology to match its own Medical monitoring will be required to keep harm from befalling either party. Should death occur during the process there is a real danger that both will be lost. Needless to say, I would prefer that Doctor Cross be in attendance... unless she chooses not to participate on moral grounds. Any suitably trained Doctor would do but I have come to trust Doctor Cross's... integrity.” He inclined his head in Sunny's direction. “In any event, her familiarity with Captain Caper could potentially prove critical to the process. I concede there are real risks involved. However, in view of the gravity of the situation, I am prepared to essay them. As a member of this Crew my duty is clear. I, too, wish to help in any capacity that I may.”

Sunny sniffed and dabbed her eyes, making Tyllae squeak and flutter her wings to keep her balance. “'Twould seem tha' we're positively awash in good intentions here. I could point out that th' Portal t' Hell is paved wi' th' same... but I can see th' writin' on th' bloody wall! I'll attend yer Vulcan Magic procedure fer both yer sakes, if Starry'll sign off on it.”

“'Magic', as a supernatural manifestation, does not exist.” Sekkack pointed out. “There is only Psi. The Vulcan Science Academy has proved that...”

“Dinna start wi' me, boyo!” Sunny said wearily. “Tis been a long day n' tisn't a-gettin' any shorter.”

“As you say, Doctor.” Sekkack nodded placidly.

“How do you assess the chances, Mister Sekkack?” I broke in. “It'll be bad enough if we lose Caper. I don't want to lose you, too!”

Sekkack didn't purse his lips in thought. That would imply uncertainty! He did cock his head ever so slightly as he calculated the odds. “Although it is impossible to take into account all the variables of random chance I am confident in both my abilities and those of Doctor Cross. The risk should be minimal. My preliminary estimate of the situation indicates a seventy-seven point eight-one-six chance of success with no adverse effects to either party.”

We both just blinked slowly.

“Yer rough estimate, is it now?” Sunny chuckled. “Well, tis better odds than we'd get in Neighgas, as Daddy'd say! Though I dinna hold wi' gamblin' as a rule, ye ken!”

“Gambling is imprudent as well as being a waste of monetary resources.” Sekkack agreed.

“Those seem to be reasonable odds, Mister Sekkack.” I said dryly. “I'm willing to authorize the attempt... if you can guarantee the odds won't drop below seventy-five percent. Given the choice I'm not a gambler either. Especially when lives are on the line!”

“My estimates were necessarily pessimistic and took into account minimally acceptable conditions as a precaution.” The Vulcan said dismissively. “I should rate our actual chances as somewhere in the approximate range of eighty-six point three-two-five-nine. Better odds than we could expect, indeed, than from the casinos of Las Neighgas, Neighvada. If I am interpreting the reference correctly, that is.” He added.

“You're spot-on, Mister Sekkack.” I said, shaking my head at the sheer incongruity of it all. “In the future, if I should invite you to join me for a game of dominoes, remind me to rescind the invitation!”

“I would have an unfair advantage.” The Vulcan nodded thoughtfully. “I have not been invited to participate in poker for some time now... except as an observer.”

“Small wonder, that!” Sunny quipped. “I seem t' recall from somewhere tha' Vulcans're 'politely requested' from playin' th' games... 'r givin' advice fer that matter!”

“All right, then!” I steered the conversation back on-topic. “I'll ok the procedure. Do you require any special preparations, Mister Sekkack? How soon can we get started?”

Sekkack shook his head fractionally. “Almost immediately. I require a few minutes of meditation before starting. Once I begin I must not be disturbed. The Captain is in the Intensive Care Unit as I recall. If the Staff can be advised that we need privacy that should be sufficient.”

“Then lets do this. I just need to call the Bridge and tell them... we're trying one last thing.” I stood up and eyed the chronometer. Good, Merry would still be at her station.

As I stood and made for the comm Sekkack rose, his face looking even more withdrawn as if he were already preparing himself. “I shall await you there.” He stated and inclined his head in farewell.

As he made to leave, Tyllae poked Sunny with a hoof and jerked her tiny head toward the Vulcan. Sunny gave a hangdog look and cleared her throat.

“Mister Sekkack...”

He paused and turned her way with no particular expression on his furry face.
Sunny fidgeted a little. “... I was about t' say that ye must think me th' worst sort o' Pony. But that would be doin' ye an insult, would it no?” She looked at the Vulcan searchingly for a moment then, “I dinna claim t' be any sort o' expert on Vulcans. But I'm no so daft as not t' realize when I've been a bloody, hysterical fool. I'm no even sure tha', by yer lights, an apology is in order 'r even proper. But in my culture...”

Something came back from wherever it had gone into Sekkack's eyes as he raised one paw to her. “Doctor, this need not be said. I cannot be insulted nor do I presume to judge. We each of us face crises in our own fashion. I am certain...” His voice rumbled softly. “That the Captain would merely grunt and tell you to 'forget it, Good Doctor'. I am honored to perform this task. I... regret any discomfort I may have caused.”

“Aye, well... yer a Grand Sort, fer all yer inscrutable Vulcan ways! I wanted t' let ye know that.” Sunny concluded lamely before turning the full megawattage of her lovely eyes on him in an effort to convey what she was feeling. Magic or Psi, something seemed to pass between the two if the look in Sekkack’s eyes were any indication. It might just have been the hormones I was still getting the hang of, but I couldn't help but to feel a twinge of jealousy!

Sekkack bowed and left. Sunny didn't help my feelings what with the way she smirked at the door. “'Vulcan Science Academy', forsooth! Th' old bloody fraud!”

Tyllae leapt up and huggled her neck. “Sunny did very, very, very good! Yep, yep, yep! Tyllae is very, very, very proud!”

Sunny nuzzled the little thing brusquely. “Feh on yer blather, ye wee Spriggan! I'm a bad-tempered auld bitch at times 'n ye know it. Why ye insist on hangin' round th' likes o' me is a mystery, ye wee, little optimist! ...'N no comments from ye, ye great lump!” She stabbed a finger in my direction.

I shut my mouth with an audible 'clop' in the process of saying something, in my opinion, snarky yet endearing. Magic or Psi, it was hard to get a dig in on Sunny sometimes!

“Tyllae loves Sunny, that's why!” The Faery nuzzled Sunnys' cheek. “Tyllae knows a Good Pony when Tyllae sees one!”

She poked the little Fey in the tummy; something that invariable set her into transports of giggles. “I love ye too, ye wee Scamp. Never doubt it fer a hot, bloody second! Get along then n' tell the Vulcan Laddie we're on our way! We'll be just a tick!”

“'Kay-'Kayyy!” Tyllae zipped up to plant an elfin kiss on her nose before rocketing over to do the same to me before disappearing with a soft 'pif'. Something about the way she left so quickly made me suspicious.

Sunny seemed to deflate visibly and the brave, tender face she put on for the Fey vanished. When she looked at me her marvelous eyes were wide and bright. I changed course and took her in my arms. She buried her head in my chest and mewled a sob as I stroked her horn and curly mane.

I held her tight as I dared as she cried, becoming once again the lost and dismayed Filly she was in the Eugenics Wars.. After a little bit her sobs became words.

“I thought th' bloody War was bad! But this...! This is just horrible! Wha' sort o' Healer kills their patients?” She paused, sniffling plaintively in a little foals' voice. “I dinna want t' do this any more. I canna!” She finished miserably.

“You're not gonna kill anypony, Sunny.” I assured her. “Give me the pill or hypo. It's my responsibility, I'll do it.”

“Nay, nay!” She bucked up and wiped her eyes on my tunic. “Tis like I said. We'll do it... 'cause we have to. Only....only...” She peered up imploringly at me. “D'ye ken They will ever forgive us?” She whispered, so heartsick that I silently vowed to impale Discord on a shard of halite to wriggle for all of eternity!

“Honey,” I gave her the sincerest look of my life! “If They don't they'll to answer to me!” If Sunny was right Khan, Green, Li Kuan, Hitter and Stallion Joe have all had to pass before the Goddesses. We had to be pretty small apples by comparison, and I told her so.

“Aye, 'n ye’d just be bold enough t' stand up t' both o' Them, wouldn't ye?” She paused to sniffle and dry her eyes on my tunic. “Well, ye'll no face Them alone. They'll forgive us both or none t'all. We're a package deal!” She straightened and wiped her eyes, this time with her hooves. “I just need t' grab a tricorder for Sekkack, Caper'll be on th' bio-bed. Gi' me a moment t' freshin' meself up n' we can get this over n' done wi'.” She made an attempt at patting her mane back into place. “I'm sure I look just as bad as I feel.”

“Call me a liar, but I can't believe that you're feeling that beautiful right now.” Maybe it was the new hormones spurring me on to gallantry but it felt right!

Though she smiled, she almost burst into tears again.

“Yer no sort o' liar...” She said tenderly. “But yer nine kinds o' flatterer!” She hugged me tight again.

“We'll get through this, Sunny. Everything will be all right. I promise.” I chucked her under her chin. “You're a stronger person than you think you are. I love you.” I added simply, earning another kiss.

“Make yer call, I'll only be a minute!”

In the privacy of her office, I gave her bottom a little swat as she moved off. The flick her tail gave me was more accurately a caress.

I sighed and damned all that testosterone surging through me as I hit the comm button.

“Sickbay to Communications.”

Merry, as I suspected, must have been hovering over her board. “Roight 'ere, Boss!”

“Caper has a living will authorizing euthanasia if he's been unresponsive for three days.” I said without preamble. “I've authorized a last-ditch procedure to try and bring him out of it. We'll know one way or another in about an hour. Advise your replacement to stand by... and cross your fingers!”

“Fingers, toes, and eyes, Starry! Oy'll stand boy, moyself!”

“Fair enough, Merry. Sickbay out.”

“Luck!”

I clicked off and just stood there for a little. Ever since Caper had fallen ill I'd managed to push away the possibility of his death. Just then, alone in Sunnys' Office, the prospect became suddenly, frighteningly real.
During the Romulan War I'd lost twenty-seven shipmates among four ships, six of them on this very vessel. Although I'd counted them all among my friends I'd never been as close to any of them as I was with Caper.
He'd always embodied for me the highest ideals that the Federation represented, this Old Pegasus from Earth. He was harder than duranium, more unrelenting than gravity, and fairer than an uncaring Universe deserved. The best officer that a Raw Colonial from Equestris could have to serve under!

He made me a Lieutenant after we took part in the battle for Barada-II and made sure Starfleet made it legal, despite lingering anti-Augment prejudice among the Top Brass. In me he saw a Pony who he could work with hoof in shoe. Our strengths and weaknesses overlapped and between the two of us there wasn't anything we couldn't get done. We drank together on Leave, wrangled the Regs to keep the wheels of Starfleet Bureaucracy from gumming up our Ship, and agonized over final letters home to grief-stricken families. Yeah, we'd saved each others' lives now and again, as well as comforting one another in the face of tragic news from the Front. No, I hasten to add, we were never lovers! But neither was he simply a Father Figure, condescending and indulgent. He was, forever and always, my best friend second only to Sunny.

What would I do if he were gone? The Equestrin answer would be to buck up and carry on until The Job Got Done. … But to be an Equestrin one has admit to being but one step removed from being Equestrian, ultimately, and I'd spent enough time among our sometimes bizarre, unfocused cousins to have picked up, if not an understanding then at least tender acceptance for the ways they did things. After all, Family is Family… despite the efforts of Khan and Company who attempted to estrange us. Family, that was it, Caper was like the older Brother I never had. The tears I’d been staving off for days stung my eyes, though I sternly forbade them to fall. There would be time for that later, in private. The Crew didn’t need to see their new Captain-in-name blubbering hysterically. But I was alone, just then, wasn’t I?

I bent my head, closed my eyes, and choked on the single heart-wrenching sob I allowed myself to indulge in. Oh, Caper…!

Earlier, Dazzle asked me if I thought all this was meant to happen. Were we all just characters in a story begun long, long ago? At that particular moment I was taken by a terrible suspicion that if the Goddesses were writing this story They were being mighty casual about the storyline! The Earth Pony… or the Equestrin… in me rebelled at the thought of being a tertiary character in a Pony-Tale. …But good Ponies weren’t supposed to die in Pony-Tales! Weren’t these things supposed to have happy endings? I could see why the characters would be tempted to strangle the Authors…

I forced the tears away and opened my brimming eyes. I straightened my bowed-but-unbroken back with a resolve that Khan would have envied. I was an Equestrin, damnit! If that means nothing else it means, at least, that we recognize the fact that the Universe Doesn’t Care. It’s absolutely neutral as interstellar hydrogen and doesn’t give a Romulans’ damn about what happens in it. It most certainly does not go in for Pony-Tales… but it remembers Histories even if only as quanta streaming through an endless Void. Ponies may very well be a brief, warm spark in the neverending Darkness but, for the sake of Tyllae, Caper, Stimbolt, and my fallen shipmates; it would be a spark the Universe would remember!

This much I could do for my old friend. Failure Was Not An Option.

I never heard Sunny come up to me. When she touched my arm, though, I wordlessly turned and gathered her up in my arms and tried to patch the hole in my heart with her warm body. Magic, Psi, Tyllaes’ Un-spoken Words or Love she knew. She always just knows! Eventually I let her go and she reached up to wipe the tears from the corners of my eyes. Together, always Together, we made our way to where Caper lay in the ICU.

I'd been to see Caper countless times in the last few days, but the sight still tore at my heart each and every time.
The Old Pegasus lay on his back and wore pale blue pajamas decorated with dark blue asymmetric triangles brought down from his cabin three decks above. He was in the bed I occupied after our fight with the Klingons. The last one in the row, farthest from the entrance and closest to the lavatory. His face was drawn, his expression frozen somewhere between a frown and a shout. His arms and knees were drawn up halfway with his hooves out in front. But for the expression on his face he looked like a caricature of an old-time prize fighter taking a stance for a photographer. The tops of his wings had curled up and in like they had stopped in the process of coming up to protect him. His mane had been mussed and the antiseptic light from the bio-bed washed whatever animation the stroke had left out of him. The tears that always threatened came again and I thrust them away, my hooves curling into fists in frustration as the bio-bed blinked and displayed his medical status.

Sunny told Willowbark the bare essentials about what was going on, saying only that there was a Vulcan procedure she wanted to try as a last resort before fulfilling Capers’ Last Wishes. She’d left out the more esoteric details but did emphasize the fact that she wanted the ICU cleared and that we were under no circumstances to be disturbed. He shot the silent Vulcan seated at Capers’ side a dubious glance and did as he was told, helping Sunny draw the privacy curtains around the area before withdrawing. No doubt to stand guard outside the doorway where he felt he could step in if things got out of hoof. Well, I couldn’t damn him for his sense of duty.

The Watch was being changed and we waited for all the comings and goings to cease in the Sickbay as it settled down to its routine. As it did I watched Sekkack closely, an idea taking shape in my mind.

The Vulcan sat quietly, his fingers steepled together in his lap and his eyes looking past them into whatever realm his Altered State had admitted him and he moved not a muscle. I had to look close to see that he was even breathing.

I cleared my throat quietly. “Mister Sekkack…?”

“Yes, Acting Captain?” His naturally calm voice was even more subdued, seeming now to come from somewhere deep within and far away.

“You once mentioned that Tyllae demonstrated a unique ability to keep her emotions from disturbing your mind. If Caper is in there we don’t know what state his mind is in. Because of what’s happened to him, for all we know, he’s a raving madpony by now.”

“And you wish Tyllae to act as a buffer between myself and the Captain.” Sekkack stated in his eerie, distracted tones. “That would be prudent. For all my training, I have never touched a Pony mind before.” He slowly turned his gaze ‘round the room until it alighted on the Fey hovering nearby Sunny who was busily setting up her tricorder. “Tyllae. Are you agreeable to this?”

She flitted to his side so quickly she may have teleported!

“Tyllae says yep, yep, yep! Tyllae said wanna help an’ Tyllae gonna help!”

“You must consider this carefully.” Sekkack cautioned. “There are dangers involved you may not be aware of. Once our minds are entwined there is always the chance you, as a distinct individual, may not return.”

I felt my ears twitch up in alarm! “You didn’t mention this before, Sekkack. I’m not sure I want to risk losing all three of you.”

“Remain calm, Starry.” He admonished and I wondered at the implications of, what for him, was an uncharacteristic lapse of precise Vulcan formality. “It is a necessary risk inherent to the act. Despite the handicap of adding a third mind I would say our chances of success have still improved by as much as five point three percent.”

“We’re no talkin’ ‘bout statistics, ye great, fuzzy calculator!” Sunny butted in. “We’re talkin’ lives here!”

“The risk to myself is acceptable.” Sekkack said serenely. “It is for Tyllae to decide… and Starry.”

“I’ll need another tricorder then. T’ monitor Tyllaes condition if she decided t’ go ‘long wi’ this.” Sunny protested.

“Fifflesticks!” Tyllae waved the need aside with a tiny hoof. “Faeries very, very, very hard to kill, Sunny! No iron in Mister See-Kacks’ mind or Cappy Capers’. ‘Sides, Tyllae is not a stoopid Faery, nope, nope, nope! Tyllae knows enough to be careful. Remember what Sunny an’ Starry saw down onna Gorn-shippy thingy. That was Tyllae then like now, justa shape all different. Just like Starry!” She pointed a hoof at me to illustrate. “Onna outside Tyllae lives on This Side. But in here…” She bonked the side of her head carelessly making her antennae wiggle. “Tyllae is all Other Side, very, very, very strong. Too strong to show all at once alla time. Hard for inside Tyllae to show up onna outside. What Sunny an’ Starry an’ everypony else sees is all that leaks through. Tyllae knows alla Ponies think little Tyllae look an’ sound silly but thatta ok. Tyllae does not mind, nope, nope, nope! Don’t worry for Tyllae! Tyllae keepa Mister See-Kack anna Cappy Caper all safe, safe, safe. Trust Tyllae!”

We all paused to digest that. That the regal, radiant being we saw on the planet dwelt in the head of the little Faery honestly never occurred to me. Personally, I thought that half of her came from the Other Side. It seemed that I was wrong about that.

“Tyllae, Sekkack is right. Are you sure about this? Really sure?”

Tyllae bounced up and down on her hooves in Faery frustration! “Thatta what Tyllae jus said, Starry! Tyllae sometimes wonder what crazy Ponies use to thinky-think with! Does Tyllae gotta say alla that again? Tyllae though Starry smarter than that!”

“Take it easy, Squirt! As far as you’re concerned I’m the Chief Faery here…”

“‘Acting’ Chief Faery, as I recall.” Sekkack said quietly.

I stabbed a finger at the Vulcan. “I’ll get to you later! Like I said, I’m the Chief Faery around here and if you don’t want to eat your cookies in the Brig… like Captain Caper once promised…”

“Muffins.” Sekkack corrected and then clarified. “Apple Muffins. Again, as I recall.”

“Oh for the love of…!” I gave each of them a hard glare. “Are you two in cahoots or something?”

“Her courage is undeniable.” Sekkack intoned. “And I am willing to take her word as to her capabilities. Shall we proceed?” He asked in ostensible innocence.

So help me, I couldn’t help but grin a tight grin. “All right, go ahead. But if you end up frying your collective noodles… well, just don’t! Got me?”

“Understood.”

“Yep, yep, yep!

“Just t' be givin' ye fair warnin'...” Sunny put in as sternly as the action of wiping the smirk off her face would allow. “If anythin' goes South I'll have th' entire Sickbay in here faster n' ye can say 'Donovan’s' Brain'.”
Has he been more actually present, no doubt Sekkack would have quirked an eyebrow! I made a note to acquaint him with Sunny's eclectic library.

“I fail to see what Cardinal compass points have to do with this situation given the lack of reference points inherent in deep space. ...And I am unfamiliar with crewpony Donovan or the workings of his brain.”

“Get t' work, Laughin' Boy … n' mind th' wee Faery!”

Sekkack knew when enough was enough. “Very well. Tyllae, I shall need to be in direct contact with you for this to work. Is that acceptable?

By way of an answer, the little Fey flitted up to perch on the very edge of the bio-bed. Folding legs and wings she sat and smiled brightly at the Vulcan. “Ready, Mister See-Kack. Tyllae is not afraid. Everthing gonna be oakey-dokey, yep, yep, yep!”

Sekkack regarded the little Fey solemnly for a moment, then stretched out his arm slowly. He splayed the fingers of his paw, halting just before he made contact. His fingers quested about, as if he were feeling along the surface of an invisible hemisphere in search of something that would afford him a grip.

“My mind to your mind, Tyllae.” The words were spoken slowly as if each syllable were an exacting effort. His voice sank even lower and became terribly insistent... and, frankly, hypnotic. “Our minds are growing close. Our minds are becoming as one...” His forefinger and ring finger arched slowly and came to rest with butterfly lightness on Tyllae's forehead and the left side of her jaw. Tyllae closed her eyes and crouched stock still as his remaining finger and thumb came to rest on the back of her head and high on the right side of her neck respectively.

Without quite realizing it I stepped forward, concerned for both their sakes. I shot a glance at Sunny. She'd muted the quavering whistle of her tricorder and was scrutinizing the readout. She noticed my look and simply shook her head without saying a word.

Sekkack's fingers shifted their positions ever so slightly as he, himself leaned in toward the Fey.

“My mind to your mind.” His voice tolled, slowing even more as if he were slowing himself down just before making contact with... something. “Our minds are becoming...one.” His index finger suddenly twitched a final millimeter.

“I... am...Sekkack. Our... minds... are... coming... closer. I... am...” A muscle above his eyes gave the faintest tic...

“Tyllae.” They both said in unison!

Despite having some inkling of what was going to happen, I jumped about half an inch!

They spoke quietly in complete synchronization.

“We... are... Sekkack. We... are Tyllae. We are…One.” The last word was spoken with quiet satisfaction. I hoped the decreasing gap between the words meant that the link between them was complete.

I had to swallow before I could speak. I've felt uncomfortable in the presence of Magic before but this was worlds more utterly eldritch than anything I'd ever seen before!

“Sunny...?”

She frowned and adjusted something on her tricorder. “Sekkack is readin' no change, aside from th' depressed activity one'd expect from somebody in a bloody trance.” She muttered with no real venom. “Bide a wee! I want t' check th' Little 'Un.”

Her horn fired up and an opalescent aura sprang up around the crouching Fey. Some variation, I suppose, of the spell Dazzle used to examine things for explosives. I wondered which spell came first?

When Sekkack spoke she almost lost the concentration on her spell. Not being so preoccupied, I whipped my head around and gaped in disbelief!

“Hi-hii, Sunny!” He rumbled, his eyebrows springing up and his face assuming an almost foal-like expression of happiness. I swear on the Honor of Equestris that he smiled! “Hi-hii, Starry! Whee! Thissa fun! Oops! Tyllae should not say things like that when using Mister See-Kack's body! Sorry-sorry, Mister See-Kack. Tyllae jus wanna say Tyllae is a-okay an' not to worry. Bye-bye now! Tyllae gonna let Mister See-Kack talk from now on!” His face fell at once into its accustomed lack of expression before he continued.

“There is no apology necessary, Tyllae. Doctor Cross, I believe that you will find that Tyllae is in perfect health. Her control is... admirable and I am in no discomfort whatsoever. I find that the Meld, thus far, is proceeding splendidly. As you can tell our personalities have indeed remained separate although we exist in what amounts to a shared organism, most extraordinary and by no means the norm in these situations. The experience is proving to be very instructive.”

“Glad ye’re havin’ sich a Grand Time of it. Ye’ll no mind if I verify that mesel’.” Sunny muttered, concentrating on her spell. Tyllae remained englobed for several seconds before the aura faded away.

“She’s got th’ right of it!” Sunny declared. “I canna find a thing out o’ place wi’ the wee Darlin’.”

“Tyllae advises that she ‘told you so’, Doctor.”

“Tell her to no get cocky!” Sunny snapped. “Th’ real job lies ahead o’ ye!”

Sekkack looked, not surprisingly, as if he were listening to something we could not hear.

“Yes, Tyllae. I am quite aware that Doctor Cross is not a ‘meanie’. She is under stress and we must make allowances for her.”

Sunny got That Look and was about to say something further on the subject but I cut in purely in the interests of keeping things moving.

“Make allowances for me as well, you two. Quite frankly I am officially creeped out by this whole performance. Tyllae can explain the idiom to you, Sekkack. Tyllae, behave yourself! You’re a guest in there.” I looked around for a chair and eased myself down into it. The duraplastic creaked with a brittle sound but held.

“We both understand, Starry.” Sekkack sounded distracted and I could only imagine what kind of dialogue was passing between the two of them. The only analogy I could come up with was to liken them to two networked computers exchanging data far more quickly and accurately than we poor, plodding Ponies with our voices.

“If you two are comfortable with your, uh, arrangement I’m authorizing you to go ahead. Contact Caper if you can.” I carefully eased forward in my seat, trying to keep most of my weight over my legs. I heard a slight sound and looked over to see Sunny breaking out a Medical Bag to arrange a hypo and a selection of ampoules within easy reach.

“We are beginning now, Starry.” Since he was facing away from the Captain I was startled that Sekkack’s free hand moved out and made a beeline for Caper’s head until I realized, with a little shock, that he was seeing through Tyllae’s eyes. The Vulcan closed his own as his fingers spider-walked over Caper’s face.

“My mind to your mind, Cloud Caper.” He intoned once again. “…Our minds are growing closer. …Our minds will become One.”

It was different this time. He spent much longer searching Caper’s features compared to what he did with Tyllae as if he were having a harder time finding a way in… or was having to fight against resistance.

His fingers suddenly stiffened and the Vulcan’s features drew tight, his face turning away slightly as if dodging a blow. He made an almost inaudible noise, not quite a grunt nor a gasp. At the same instant Tyllae’s head lifted in his grasp. She almost broke free and I worried about the implications for Sekkack if she did. The little Fey’s wings spread out at high angles and quivered. Her tiny face remained impassive, though the Vulcan’s features erupted in a rapid-fire sequence of uneasiness, concern, and, finally, alarm. Her words but Sekkack’s deep voice charged the air.

“Cappy Caper very, very, very afraid! All scardey-scared, all in pain! Hurtshurtshurts!” Sekkack twisted his face up in resolve. “Don’t worry, Cappy Caper! Tyllae is here! Tyllae brings help! Don’t cry no more! Lissen to Tyllae! Lissen hard! Reach out for Mister Sekkack! Hollld onnn! Don’t worry, Mister Sekkack! Tyllae helps! Reach, reach, reach past alla pain, alla fear. No, no, no Cappy Caper! Scream to Tyllae! Leave Mister Sekkack alone please, please, pleeeaassse! Be sad to Tyllae! Make alla noise Cappy Caper want! Tyllae knows better! Lissen to Tyllae! Tyllae knows Cappy Caper good an’ kind. Pay ‘tention to just Tyllae!”

Shock froze me at first. Shock and a cold terror that clutched at my heart. I sprang to my hooves, narrowly avoiding knocking over my chair. I had to restrain myself from jumping forward to pull Sekkack off Caper and yank the little Fey into my arms.

“Tyllae! Sekkack! Talk to me!” I barked as Sekkack groaned and whimpered the muscles of his body wrestling against an intangible foe. Suddenly he slumped and his head lolled, only his fingers remained rigid, locked against Caper’s head.
The sudden silence was broken only by Doctor Willowbark yanking the curtain aside and rushing in only to stop dead as he took in the tableaux. Before he could speak Sunny snared him with her voice.

“Monitor th’ Captain’s bio-bed! I’ve got th’ Vulcan laddie! ‘N fer th’ love o’ Celestia dinna touch him wi’ yer hoof! 'Tis some bloody sort o’ Vulcan telepathic link!” She rapped out, racing over with tricorder in hoof intent on Sekkack. Willowbark knew enough not to bother with asking Sunny questions at a time like that and didn’t lose a second in coming to Caper’s side. He scanned the display in a second.

“Heart rate, respiration, blood pressure are twenty percent over baseline!” He called out in a steady voice. “K1 and K2 readings are bouncing all over the scale. Alpha, beta, and theta band brain activity is erratic. Temperature is one degree above normal and climbing. I really need to know what’s going on, Doctor!”

“’Tis th’ link!” Sunny said rapidly. “Sekkack’s mind’s hooked up t’ Caper’s body n’ ‘tis doin’ what it can t’ make itself at home! Get ready t’ administer a general sedative, five cc’s o’ tetravalium t’ combat th’ hyperstimulation ought t’ do it. Stand by wi’ cold packs t’ bring his temperature down if it goes up another degree. If we need we can do a cold gastric lavage t’ bring it down more forcefully!” She scanned her tricorder quickly. “As far as readins’ can be trusted wi’ Vulcans, Sekkack is vergin’ on shock. He’s shaky but no in danger…”

“Doctor!” Willowbark’s hooves worked to prep the hypo, his eyes only leaving the display for an instant to dial the dosage. “The Captain’s readings are leveling out. They’re falling back into the normal ranges across the board.”

“Sekkack!” I called out, unable to do anything else and hating it! “Tyllae! Somepony say something! What happened? Are you still with us?”

“Please to not shout, Starry-pushka.” Caper’s thick accent slurred out of Sekkack’s mouth as Sekkack stirred and grimaced like somepony waking up with a truly epic hangover. He opened his eyes and looked around blearily. When his gaze wandered to the form on the bio-bed it stopped and his body stiffened. “Ah! …So is not nightmare after all, nyet?” He said quietly.
We all of us froze in place and in complete silence until I worked up the nerve to speak.

“… Caper?”

“You were maybe expecting the Tsarina of all the Rushias, Starry-pushka?” Sekkack’s face quirked into Caper’s weary grin. “Vulcan ears hear as good as I always imagined your Augmented ones did.” He turned his head cautiously to look around the room, though he seemed careful to avoid looking directly at the bio-bed.

“Good morning, Good Doctor. Do not look so worried! Comrade Sekkack and Leetle Pooka are safe and well. They both decided to let me talk alone for leetle while. Imagine you are as astonished as I am, da?”

I’ve never seen Sunny so at a loss for words! In any other context I would have laughed. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before clearing her throat determinedly to try again.

“I’ll no lie t’ ye, er, Captain. I never expected t’ be hearin’ from ye again! How…?” She had to swallow before going on. “How are ye feelin’?”

Sekkack grunted the patented Caper multipurpose grunt. “Have been feeling worse than Gulag food looks! Does Good Doctor really want details? Oi! Would not wish this on no-goodnik Discord! Is good that it stops for this leetle while. Am so very tired, but Rest comes soon enough, nyet?” He smiled a so utterly weary smile at her.

“I know what Vulcan and Leetle Pooka know, Leetle Grandmother. Is Third Day and I am…” He grimaced. “Effectively dead, nyet?” He paused as the silent tears gathered and began to fall from her tragic eyes. “ … Please to not cry Doctor Sunny. Through Comrade Sekkack I know your reasons, from Leetle Pooka I know how you feel. But you must be brave now, braver even than sick, old Pegasus who now begs you…you hear, da? I beg you to do this thing! May you never know how much of a mercy it is!” He closed his eyes for long moments. For so long I feared he’d drifted away from us back into the Hell he’d fallen into. Sunny covered the end of her muzzle with one hoof, smothering her sobs as she hugged herself with her free arm.

Sekkack… Caper… opened his eyes again. “Where is Starry? I have taken too much time. Brave shipmates have only so much strength and will not endanger them on my account!”

“I’m right here, Caper.” I stepped up, fully intending to hug the Vulcan and to Hell with the risk! But a faint pink shell came between us like a sheet of rose-colored transparent aluminum to stop me.

“You must not, Starry-pushka!” Caper admonished. “Our friends do not have strength to waste and is something Valiant Captain wishes to share with favorite hot-headed Equestrin. You must listen to me one last time for just leetle while, eh? Consider it one final order, hokay?”

“What is it, Caper?” I knelt so I could look into his eyes scant inches away.

“At first I thought I was mad with pain and panic.” He began urgently. “But as ship gets nearer to our goal have begun to become aware, even in nightmare and delirium, that somepony was nearby and coming closer all the time. I catch glimpse of now and then. Just leetle, quick peeks at first out of corner of eye at distance then for longer times and more clearly.”

“Is purple-and-blue Mare, Starry. An Alicorn with wings dark as nebula, mane like billowing cloud on a starry night and eyes like Moon on Nipper River back home on Earth. She is beautiful and terrible at same time… and she walks on four legs, Starry-pushka!

“You told me what you saw down on planet, the vision Discord showed you! Is Luna, Starry-pushka, am sure of it! At least have lived long enough to know…” His voice drifted away and his eyes closed suddenly older and more tired than his mere years.

“Caper…?”

His eyes snapped open and fixed upon me at once. “Time is too short, Starry-pushka! Others are tired and Angel of Night is very close. Soon now she comes for me, nyet? Maybe I will be there to see you again when you bring your ship to where Goddesses are. Silver-Tongued Captain will put good word in ears of Sisters on your behalf, da?”

“Your Ship, Caper. I’m just taking care of it for the duration.”

“Bah!” Caper rumbled. “You know Regs! You are Captain now! … New shirt looks good on you, by the way. With little bit work could almost look as good as Valiant Captain, do I lie?” The old Pegasus smiled at me from the Vulcan's relatively youthful face. We wasted several precious seconds looking into each other's eyes, both of us striving to figure out how to say so, so much in such a little time...

“Good-bye, Caper.” Was all I could say in the end. “Thanks for being there.” I choked on the next breath. “We... we won't let you down.”

“Starry-pushka... tell me something I did not already know! Bring all our Little Ponies Home, da?” His gaze flicked to the curtain screening off the foot of the bed and his breath caught. “... Angel of Night is come.” He said in a voice so low we could barely hear it. “I must go now, Starry-Eyes. You are fine Officer, and an even finer Friend. Please to tell Crew how very proud Valiant Captain is of all of them.”

All of us swept the foot of the bio-bed with our eyes, then searched one another s faces. I could see what Willowbark was thinking, that it was the hallucination of a dying mind. Sunny, of course, never had a doubt. Until a month ago I would have sided with Willowbark. Just then, though...

“Sure thing, Caper.” I said softly.

“Wait...” The eerie voice said. Caper's borrowed face became bemused. “I have been asked to pass along message. Captain's work is never done, da? Well, this Yoemare is not one to be ignored!” The Old Pegasus listened intently for a bit, then. “First is announcement... Hoop-ah, Good Doctor! There is to be no talk of guilt or forgiveness. Put mind and soul at rest, Valiant Captain is going through Door with escort! Ha!” Caper barked a laugh before continuing. “Second is message for Starry-pushka-Eyes!” Once again he listened intently, the levity draining from his face as I watched. When he looked to me again he was grave. “Discord is on trail of the Ship and will find soon. Maybe matter of few days, could be much less. Hermes must follow present course and must reach... 'The Ruined Star'...?” He frowned and listened again. “Is, and quote, 'Five hundred and thirteen years away as the light streams. Look for the Storm Among The Stars.' ...Oi! Would be too much trouble to maybe go get Star Chart and just point hoof at destination?”

A hoof, a bare hoof stamped imperiously on the deck at the foot of the bed where nopony stood! Willowbark looked sharply in that direction, then rolled an eye at the rest of us to see if we heard it too.

“Or maybe not! Am nothing if not accommodating Pony! Is old Rushin saying, 'Please to not shoot Messenger'. You are familiar with, da? Hokay, hokay! Last message! ...Is for Doctor Willowbark.”

Willowbark, who had been leaning on the frame of the bio-bed for support, stood straight and tucked his hooves into his labcoat. He looked around warily.

“Yes?”

“Ahem! 'We did what We thought was Right. We are sorry. We are so, so sorry.'” Caper pointed with his eyes to the deck at the Doctor's hooves. “Is gift from apologetic Goddess, believe or not! This will cure any disease, any condition. You may use it three times, then keep it forever.”

Willowbark stared down at the deck and just froze. The bio-bed kept Sunny and I from seeing what lay there.

“Now is time to leave.” Caper said softly. “You will give Good Doctor hug in my name, da?” His eyes searched my face tenderly. “Do not cry, Starry-pushka. Need to remind you of words of Goddess?”

I blinked back mutinous tears and did my level best to smile. “Is that an order, Captain?”

“Da. Last one you get from me... Captain.”

All the Caper drained from Sekkack's face. The magic shield dissolved and the indicators on the bio-bed fell smoothly down to ground against the bottom of their scales. The Vulcan's eyes focused on me as he released himself from both Tyllae and Caper. Wordlessly, he sat back in his seat and ignored us.

“She took him with Her.” Sunny breathed. “Sure n’ I’d be a hypocrite if I didna say I was glad th’ choice was taken off me. hooves. Bless Them both.” She shut down her tricorder with a snap of the lid and came to kneel next to me. I was glad for her company just then.

Tyllae rose and stretched, fluttering her wings but keeping grounded. Alone of us present she behaved as if nothing untoward just happened. She shook herself vigorously before she started chattering.

“Alla oakey-dokes now, yep, yep, yep!” She chirped. “Cappy Caper all good now. All happy! Sunny an’ Starry don’t gotta worry no more! See, Sunny! Jus lika Mister See-Kack said, everthing alla fine! Tyllae wassa little bitsy surprised when Cappy Caper didn’t recognize, but Cappy Caper was very, very, very sick an’ all in pain so Tyllae won’t blame. Mister See-Kack was real, real, real brave, Sunny! Sunny should be proud of Mister See-Kack, da, da, da! Oops!” She shook her head until her antennae whipped. “Little bitsy of Cappy Caper still in there! Oh, hey, Starry! Tyllae knows what ‘pushka’ mean now! Whyfor Cappy Caper call you a big cannon-thingy?”

As she nattered on, I took Sunny’s hoof and gave it a grateful squeeze. My emotions were a surging maelstrom just then and all the new hormones weren’t helping one little bit! When I turned to look at Sekkack it felt like somepony else was doing it by remote control.

The Vulcan sat as still as a statue, his paws once again steepled in his lap. The slightest frown creased his brow as he regarded them in silence.

“Mister Sekkack?” I asked. “Tyllae seems fine. I was wondering how you are doing. She gives you all the credit for the success…” I trailed off when he gave no sign of responding. “…It was a success, wasn’t it? …Sekkack?” I released Sunny and she started her tricorder again, removing the Feinberger to wave it over him. The action dragged his attention away from wherever he had it focused.

“I am…” His voice rasped as his vocal chords rebelled against their recent mistreatment. He cleared his throat and tried again. “I am fine, Goo- … Doctor Cross. Aside from straining certain small muscles I do not usually use…” Absently, he reached up to touch his face. Only the gravity of the situation, I’m sure, kept her from making a quip about a smile breaking a Vulcan face! “I am fine. As is usual in these situations residual elements of the subject’s mind will come forth. I assure you the effect is temporary.” He paused for a fraction of a second to pull himself together. To his credit, he did sound better when he spoke again.

“I have assimilated a vast quantity of data from both Tyllae and the late Captain. I will have to meditate to process it properly.”

Sunny finished scanning him and double-checked the readings. “I canna fault ye on yer physiology, laddie, but yer brain activity indicators seem t’ be showin’ ye’ve run yerself a mental marathon t’ be sure! I prescribe rest, but I reckon meditation is yer equivalent of it. Just fer th’ sake o’ me own conscience I want ye t’ drop back in tomorrow fer another wee look. Yon circus was a learnin’ experience fer me as well!” Once again she shut down the tricorder. But she wasn’t through with Sekkack just yet.

“Indulge me strictly scientific curiosity, Sekkack-me-lad! Th’ two of ye were in direct contact wi’ th’ Captain’s mind. I heard him use yer voice n’ it seemed t’ work just grand. I was wonderin’ if your eyes worked just as well for him?”

“The three of us had access to our collective sensory apparatus.” Sekkack conceded.

“Did ye see Her, then? There at th’ foot o’ th’ bed?”

Sekkack locked eyes with Sunny. “What did you see, Doctor Cross?”

“I asked ye first, Boyo. Dinna try t’ evade th’ question!”

Sekkack held her gaze quietly for a quartet of seconds, his eyes absolutely neutral. Then, “I evade nothing, Doctor. The late Captain was in great pain and mental distress, effectively in tortured isolation for three entire days. Given the manic strength of his mind there is every reason to believe he was deranged by the experience. I saw what Captain Caper thought… or wanted to see. It is even possible that Tyllae may have supplied the imagery from her subconscious.” He stated flatly.

“Then who stomped that hoof?” I asked.

Sekkack dismissed the question with the barest shake of his head. “A noise, nothing more. Your own chair may have caused it when it fell.” He pointed with his eyes to the space behind me.

I turned my head to look at the chair I’d been using. It had fallen, at that.

Tyllae trotted up and plopped her hindquarters down so she could engage a foreleg to waggle at Sunny and me.

“Stop picky-picking on Comrade See-Kack!” She scolded, another stray bit of Caper coming out. “Oops, dida again! Never mind Leetle Tyllae-Pooka, Mister Comrade See-Kack gotta make up own mind about what Mister Comrade See-Kack see! Starry-pushka an’ Good Doctor Sunny should not be so mean an’ try to change mind, nyet, nyet, nyet!” The little Fey tilted her head with a frown and bonked it with a forehoof like a Pony trying to get water out of her ear.

“Fooey!” She declared in disgust. “Thissa no good! Leetle Tyllae-Pooka gotta go take nap an’ get Leetle Tyllae-Pooka’s coco alla straightened out! Nighty night-night!” She vanished with a ‘pif’.

“I am fatigued as well.” Sekkack said. “May I suggest we continue this discussion after we all have had time to reorganize our thoughts?” He rose smoothly to his feet. “I will take my leave of…”

“Willowbark!” Sunny looked up. “What ails ye, lad?” For the stiff, silent Willowbark had slowly bent his knees and reached down to something on the deck. He frowned, unsure whether or not to believe his eyes but unwilling to take them off whatever it was.

When he arose there, across his palm, lay a single midnight-blue feather half again as long as his hoof!

Sekkack never batted an eye, even when Sunny dug him in the side with an elbow and crowed. “What d’ye ken th’ vaunted Vulcan Science Academy’d make o’ yon, laddie!”

I strove to keep a straight face as I did my duty to Vulcan Dignity. Sekkack, after all, was part of my Department!
“I think that I speak for all of us when I say that Enough is Enough. It seems to me that the best thing to do now is to get some rest and try to sort out… all our new data. Mister Sekkack, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you did today. Now go get some rest. We all need you to be as your best in the days to come.”

Sekkack tore his eyes off the feather only by dint of a supreme effort. He inclined his head gravely to me and made his way out. As I watched him leave I wondered if it would be considered gauche to feel pity for a Vulcan?
Willowbark’s voice distracted me from my musings.

“I… I… should be getting back to my duties.” He said in a daze, poor buck!

“Light duty, I should think.” Sunny suggested. “Things r’ slow, Nurse Snowflake should be able t’ handle it. I’ll have a word wi’ her. Come along t’ me office, then. I’ve a drop r’ two o’ summat called ‘Saurian Brandy’ I keep fer strictly medicinal purposes… n’ I think we both need a mort o’ restorin’ just now! Will ye no come wi’ us, Starry?”

I shook my head slowly. “No. Thank you, but no. There’s something I have to do first.” I made my way to the Comm panel at the Nurse’s Station.

Sunny’s eyes softened. “O’ course.” She said softly.

“I’ll meet you back in our cabin… in a bit.” I assured her.

“I’ll be waitin’.” She promised and then left with Willowbark in tow. I drew a breath and hit the button.

“ICU to Communications.”

“What’s the good word, Boss?” I could hear the anxiety underlying Merry’s voice. This was just going to kill her. I almost switched off again, but what good would that do?

“Put me on speakers, Merry.” I kept my own voice as neutral as possible, but she knew at that very instant.

“Damn it.” There was a brief pause then, “Go ahead, Starry.”

“Attention all decks! Attention all decks!” I wondered how I could possibly get through this. “This is Captain Starry-Eyes. After a final attempt to rouse Captain Caper from his coma…Captain Caper passed away at fifteen hundred eleven hours. He told me to pass along to you all how proud he was of everypony aboard this ship. His Last Words consisted of an order. An order that I now pass along to you all.” I paused to swallow the lump in my throat. “As of this Stardate all personnel on this ship are directed not to cry because Captain Caper is gone. We are all to smile because we knew him.”
“…I ask you now to join me at the conclusion of this announcement for a minute of silence in honor of a great Officer, a dear Friend, and a wonderful Pony. Memorial Services will be held at eighteen hundred hours tomorrow. That is all. Captain Starry-Eyes, out.”

Chapter Forty Three- The Princess of the Night

CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

The Princess of the Night

Ever since the events of Cestus-III I hadn’t been sleeping well. Augment or not, meeting the Devil of Equestria, watching a First Contact spiral down into massacre, seeing an innocent young buck gunned down before your eyes by an unwilling and equally innocent gunpony, and being the recipient of an involuntary full-spectrum gender swap besides was a bit much for the subconscious to be expected to handle quietly.

I really missed the Mare in My Head, the mental construct I’d come up with as a filly that acted as a filter between me and the things in the outside world. So it was not to be unexpected that I would take a turn around her scaled-down Bridge in the course of my dreams…

I stepped forward from where the Turbolift doors were, my hooves leading me by force of habit to the Science station. I looked around the empty Bridge, taking in the visual displays above each of the Command Consoles. On the Hermes, if they weren’t in use by the individual station, they showed static images of random celestial bodies. Here, though, the screens carried images of Sunny in varying stages of dress… and un-dress! Well, they were still images of a Celestial Body as far as I was concerned! I followed the progression of images clockwise from the turbolift, starting with Sunny on Rodeodondo Beach wearing nothing but her sunglasses and running the gauntlet of her posing a dizzying array of garments culminating in a positively angelic view of her in the outfit I’d bought her on Equestris right over the Engineering Station!

The last screen, over Communications, was different. On it a frankly stunning deep yellow Equestrin mare with a honey-gold mane was caught in the act of shucking off her jumpsuit. Her arms were back and her breasts were thrown forward and she was bare to just below her navel. Her smile was the only light but for the safety lamp in the tunnel we’d stolen off to on that wild night. Topaz Lode, the Mare that threw Feldspar over for me all those years ago. Well, I’m sure Sunny had fond memories of previous lovers, too. Even I’m not that naïve! Here in the privacy of a dream I paused and revisited that night a while before making my way down to the Command Chair, whistling. Yep, she was worth a few broken ribs!

There was a small plastic sign lying on the seat, one of those things you’d see in the window of a small shop when the proprietor needed to step out for a while. There was a blue circle, representative of an old-style analog clock face with to black, moveable hands. Above the clock face ran the caption, ‘Back by…’. All the numbers on the clock were replaced by question marks. Cute.

Fiddling with the clock hands, I turned and sat in the chair. This one was a perfect fit. At least I could open my knees while sitting and had enough room to lounge a little. I gave a little kick and spun around in a lazy circle, listening to the muted beeps and warbles of the consoles and taking in the sights. I came to rest facing the Commissioning Plaque on the wall just to the right of the turbolift as you faced it. This one bore a silhouette of Yours Truly in all my former feminine glory and bore the caption, ‘Starry-Eyes. Ponyton, Equestris. July 17, 2182.’ I frowned when I noticed a second plaque beneath that. It was twenty-four years newer and showed my present outline. ‘Starry-Eyes-A. October 25, 2217’, ran the legend. I snorted and gave the chair another kick and turned to face the Main Viewer.

The screen within the narrow maroon border was dark, just a shade or two bluer than the walls of the Bridge. Beneath it the chasing lights of the Range and Distance Indicator moved sedately left-to-right giving forth a quiet ringing electronic ‘ping’ at the end of its travel as the ships sensors scanned local space. I wondered idly, since this Bridge was entirely in my head, if my senses were scanning whatever room I was in…

I settled back in the chair and got comfortable. For a dream this wasn’t shaping up badly. Not a nightmare, not even the mild sort like the one where I’m sitting down to a nice salad only to have the fork go utterly limp in my hoof and I have to eat the thing with my fingers while everypony around me tries not to stare. Just a goofy little nonsense dream, the kind that makes you wonder just what the heck brought that on when you woke up. Maybe Sunny would come wandering in wearing a Top Hat or something! I turned toward the turbolift again in anticipation. I thought that, maybe if I worked this just right, she’d come in wearing her bustier… or maybe nothing at all! As long as I was dreaming why not have Xantippe come in topless and sit in my lap for a little ‘dictation’? What happens in a dream stays within a dream, I always say!

A feminine voice giggled! I froze and perked my ears. I didn’t recognize the voice. I swiveled the chair slowly, trying to lock onto the source. I heard it again. It was a youthful voice, not much younger than myself, and she was having fun. Not the lascivious sort I was just contemplating, mind you, but the innocent pleasure of simple play like making a hardcopy airplane and tossing it back and forth during slack time or even just telling jokes with friends… activities I’d given up for a long while now.

My questing ears led me to face the chair forward toward the Main Viewer. I listened to the unknown Mare enjoy herself while I chewed my lip. I could activate the View from my chair but, given the nature of the circumstances, I was hesitant. With the uncomfortable inevitability of most of my dreams things were taking a definite nightmare turn. Some lucky Ponies claim to be able to guide their dreams to wherever they wanted to go. With my luck I’d be greeted by the sight of some brain-eating Zombie or some rubber-suited Pony devastating Nip-On straight out of Sunny’s antique video collection. … More probably, I’d be treated to the sight of Stimbolt looking straight into my eyes as he got shot through the heart. Once, just for once why couldn’t it be animated bimbos? With a sigh I steeled myself and hit the switch.

The screen came alive with its characteristic plexing sound as I stared resolutely at the image that built up… and blinked, staring!

It was a clearing in a forest at night. Huge, dark trees framed an open glade in which pale, night flowers bloomed. A patch of thickly-starred sky was dominated by Earth’s full Moon, the face of the Mare in the Moon looking down at her namesake cavorting in the starlight!

Luna stood, caught in the act of rearing playfully, her forelegs windmilling as she tried to tag with her nose the shimmering figure of Tyllae who dodged and weaved around her head like a maniac meteor! The jet tiara on her head was askew and her star-spangled, midnight blue mane billowed and floated almost independently of her body as her half-outspread wings fluttered to a stop. The smile on her muzzle froze and her indigo eyes widened in embarrassment as they saw me looking. Tyllae zipped to halt next to her head and she turned to look to see what interrupted their game.

“Hi-hiii, Starry! Tyllae an Luna just playing a little before Luna has to hava big talk with Starry. Tyllae gotta go now! Bye-bye!” The tiny Fey darted in to nuzzle dark purple muzzle and ‘pifed’ away!

The Goddess of the Night hurriedly, yet gracefully, regained Her footing and settled her wings one at a time. Her horn flared darkly and a starshot aura set her tiara aright as she closed her eyes, collecting the Royal Dignity no doubt. Only then did she stand regally upright and pace forward, her eyes opening in calm determination.

So help me, she stepped straight through the Viewer’s frame and stopped in front of the Helm and Navigation consoles, banishing the Viewer’s image as soon as her luxurious tail cleared the screen. With a practiced motion she raised one foreleg and stretched it out imperiously.

“BEHOLD, STARRY-EYES! THY PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT HATH ARRIVED!” Backed by distant thunder, Her voice boomed in the confines of the Bridge and the display screens above each station flashed with simulated lightning.

I winced and stood, rubbing one ear. “You know, I’m standing right here. Less than ten feet away. On top of that, I have Augmented hearing, there’s no need to shout.”

The imperious hoof faltered and something like doubt came into those indigo eyes. “WE ARE NOT SHOUTING. WE ARE USING THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE AS BEFITS THE OCCASION OF A ROYAL VISIT, THE FIRST ONE IN AGES.”

I rounded the consoles on the port side and stood at Parade Rest before her. “I’ll stipulate to the solemnity of the occasion. If I were awake and conscious I’d be much more deferential. Since you saw fit to come into my dream, however, I don’t feel that a little common courtesy is out of place. So, if you please, Tone It Down.”

Her hoof came down onto the deck quickly and she fidgeted, dropping her eyes just for a moment. When she looked back up it was almost apologetically. When she spoke again, it was in a quieter, warmer voice.

“We beg thy forgiveness, Starry-Eyes. Our Sister suggested that the ancient custom be followed. We begin to suspect that We have been set up for the sake of Her amusement… yet again.” The Princess of the Night frowned ruefully.

“Don’t worry about it. Dreams are just dreams and I don’t take them seriously.” I assured Her. “…Truth be told I was expecting a swarm of gremlins or something else unpleasant.” I paused for a little and eyed Her warily. “…This is about the point in the course of things when it usually happens.”

But She only nodded understandingly. “Verily thou hast the right of it. Thou dreamest but rest assured, We are quite Real.”

“Uh-huh.” I said skeptically.

“I am Princess of the Night, Starry-Eyes. It is part of my duty to come into the dreams of all our subjects. Hast thou ever seen Us in thy dreams before?”

“Until recently I haven’t had any reason to dream of you or your Sister.” I pointed out reasonably. “And as far as being your subject goes, well, I work for the Federation. Actually, given the last several days, I’m surprised that I’m not talking to Discord right now!” I cocked a wary eye at the Alicorn. “…Or am I?”

“Discord is a trickster but would he be this subtle, Starry-Eyes? Wouldst he not twist thy dream into something more to his chaotic fancy?” She cocked Her head, fixing me with one eye to emphasize her point. “He hates thee and thy kind! Thou wouldst be in a nightmare realm from the outset.”

“If anypony would know it’d be you. Nightmare Moon would be an expert in nightmares, wouldn’t she?” Look, in my defense, I thought it was all just a dream!

Luna flinched. “Were We of such a mind We would say that a child of Khan would be an expert in being cruel, could We not?”

“Look, Lady…!” I advanced on Her with the full intent of administering a browbeating, but gave up. “Oh, for the love of…! How can you win an argument with a dream? It’s like trying to find the last digits of ‘pi’, never gonna happen!” I turned my back on Her and stalked back to my chair… checking it for tacks first. I know my dreams!

“Forty-two.” She said quietly.

“What?” I whirled the chair around to look at her.

“We pray thee do not panic, Starry-Eyes! Forty-two is the ultimate answer, the last two digits in the sequence. …We once worked out the entire answer while We were exiled to the Moon.” She said in a matter-of-fact tone. “We are surprised that with all thy technology thou hast not arrived at the answer.” She ambled up slowly, craning her head this way and that to take in the machineries of the Bridge. Her eyes took in the Visual Displays and she rolled a playful eye my way. “…But ‘twould seem thou hast kept thyself busy with other, more practical, pursuits to occupy thy mind! Would that We had such diversions on the Moon! Truly, thy new bodies leave little to the imagination! Is this why thy kind coverest thyselves from neck to toes so?”

I hurried to access the Displays from my chair, replacing them with neutral shades of blue, a shade that nicely counterbalanced the blush I could feel on my muzzle!

Luna chuckled. “Worry not, Dear Starry-Eyes! Gently We are thus revenged for thy remarks concerning Nightmare Moon… and thus We apologize for Our invoking the shade of the hated Khan as well.” Standing, her head was still level with mine. As she stepped up next to me something of the Princess seemed to drop away from Her to reveal a Mare… no, little more than a Filly… who had never had much of a foalhood of her own. Somepony who struggled to maintain an image expected of her at the expense of her own self. Only in the intimacy of dreams that could be denied in the light of day could she let the vulnerability… and loneliness… be seen. I couldn’t help but feel like a stiff-necked heel.

“Shall We begin afresh, good Starry-Eyes? I am Luna, Princess of the Night. And We have come to speak with thee in thy dream if thou wilt hear Us.”

I chewed my lip and considered the being before me for long moments. It was the Equestrin in me, I guess, that wanted final proof. I cautiously raised one hoof, extended a finger and sought to touch the indigo nose in front of me. She crossed her eyes to watch my progress and I couldn’t help but to smile.

Her nose was velvety soft and Her warm breath brushed my hoof. I couldn’t help but rub her nose a little. She abruptly sneezed and I snatched my finger away!

“We beg thy pardon… but that doth tickle!” She spent a second composing Herself, then, “Art thou convinced of Our reality now?” Those dark eyes positively twinkled!

“I don’t know…” I said slowly. “I’ve felt things before in a dream… I think.”

“What doth thy heart knowest that thy finger doth not?” She asked softly.

I sighed. “All right. You’re here… somehow. I’ll just take it on faith.” We regarded one another for a few moments while I fidgeted.

“Um, I’m unsure of the protocol here. Am I expected to bow or kiss your horseshoe or something?” I looked at Her frankly. “Look, I’ll be honest with you! I don’t want to be accused of showing lesse majeste but…”

“As thou hast already pointed out so delicately…” Luna looked away innocently. “Our Crown hath no authority over thee. It was presumptuous of Us to number thee among Our subjects. We spoke out of old habit… and humbly beg thy pardon. We can lay no claim of fealty upon thee or thy people. Plain courtesy would be appreciated, good Starry-Eyes.”

“Fair enough, Luna… Princess… Goddess…Your Majesty… what the hell should I call you, given the circumstances?”

She laughed. “Given the circumstances, ‘Luna’ will suffice!”

I settled back in my chair and lounged on one arm. “So… is it my imagination or do you and Tyllae speak the same lingo, when she’s on the Other Side at least?”

“Thou referest to the Royal Pronoun? …Or to Our mode of speech altogether?” She folded Her legs gracefully and settled to the deck, getting comfortable. “In the case of the Faery it is a consequence of living in two realms at the same time. The Fey choose to consider the two beings as separate individuals occupying a pair of linked bodies each with its own identity. Confusing, forsooth, from the Pony point of view but a condition the Fey take for granted! The Royal Pronoun comest from that, since the Fey patronized Ponykind since its inception.” She shrugged Her wings. “The custom was adopted long, long ago and hath become Tradition! Celestia hath overcome Her teaching and chooses to use it not, the better to make Herself less remote from Our Little Ponies.” She looked away, self-consciously. “We… I.. however, have yet to unlearn it completely. But, in Our… my… defense, my interactions with our subjects have suffered a lapse.” She trailed away, looking uncomfortable.

I knew better than to evoke the subject of Nightmare Moon again, though! I hastily changed tacks.

“You sound like you’ve studied the subject, though, almost like an equinopologist.”

“I’ve applied myself to learn all I could about Modern Society!” She said, eagerly. The last vestiges of Her imposed aloofness falling away in almost foal-like earnestness. She looked at me just like a young schoolfilly eager to show off her knowledge. I suppressed an urge to smile.

“I have studied hard to learn the mysteries of Science and Technology! I can even make microwave popcorn all by myself… most of the time.” She declared proudly, rolling Her eyes just a little bit at the last few words.

“You’re one up on Tyllae at any rate!” I said, ransacking my memory of any recollection of radiation-emitting grain. I concluded that it must be an Earth Thing from during the Eugenics Wars when it was hard to get uncontaminated food… “She can recognize the on button of a vid player but that’s about it. She has the habit of hexing machines that frustrate her… which is most of them!” I leaned in confidentially. “We try to keep her out of Engineering!” We both laughed.

Luna looked around the Bridge. “Even with all that I’ve learned, I can scarcely comprehend the nature of the devices I see here.” She pointed at the Communications Station with her horn. “That is a wireless telegraph device, is it not?” She shot me a unsure glance that I pretended not to notice.

“Ah, yes it is. We call it ‘radio’ and it operates in electromagnetic frequencies as well as in subspace ones.”

“E-lect-tro-mag-netic.” She repeated, nodding sagely. “I recognize the term, though ‘sub-space’ is a mystery to me. Twilight Sparkle is much more knowledgeable in these matters. She taught me all that I know.” She gave me a private, embarrassed smile. “… Such as it is.” She looked around wistfully. “I wish she could be here with us, she would be ecstatic!”

“I’d be glad to give you both the Grand Tour, but…” I coughed into my hoof politely. “If I understood Tyllae correctly you had something other than the, uh, wonders of science to discuss.”

It was Her turn to sigh. “Yes, yes I do.” She tore Her eyes away from all the pretty lights with an effort. “Your body does not require as much sleep as others do and time runs strangely in a dream. The time to socialize will come later. There will be other dreams.”

She collected Herself a little. When She looked at me again She was, once again, the young Filly with a grown-up job to do.

“Celestia knows now of Discord’s perfidy, thanks to both Stimbolt and Cloud Caper…”

“Wait!” I sat bolt upright. “Stimbolt is with you too?”

Luna blinked. “Of course. Discord, in his madness, acted rashly when he killed him. Perhaps he thought the distance too great. More likely he misjudged or never understood the nature of Stimbolt’s spirit. Upon his death he found his way to us, the first in many a long year. Speaking to him, we learned a little of what the Lord of Chaos has been planning.”

“Is he…? Does Stimbolt…?” I faltered.

“He is well, good Starry-Eyes.” Luna said gently. “He bears no ill-will against you. He understands there was nothing you could do to save him. You were both pitted against a foe you could not prevail against. He was worried that you would blame yourself.”

I must have looked pretty shattered at that moment because Luna rose to tuck my head under her neck. Before I shut my eyes I stared blindly at the alabaster crescent Moon emblazoned on the halter that she wore. It couldn’t have been a dream. No nightmare I ever had smelled like violets… or hugged me so warmly.

I patted the Royal Shoulder after a few seconds and we drew apart. “Thank you.” I sniffed back tears of relief, successfully for the most part. “He’s happy now, right?”

Luna wiped my eyes with a delicate wing tip! “He is a celebrity, believe it or not! Twilight Sparkle and many Unicorns of her Academy compete for his time that they may learn something of the Science of your day. He has little enough time for himself, the poor colt, but he is happy. Our Equestria-Among-The-Stars has proven to be Paradise enough for him at least!”

“And Caper….?”

Luna smiled indulgently. “Cloud Caper is most of the reason I am here now. He is concerned that the details of the message I sent by him was too vague.” She rolled her eyes. “Well, I haven’t your frame of reference… or the language… to express myself correctly, haven’t I?”

“The part about five hundred and thirteen light years was pretty plain.” I conceded. “But the rest was more poetic than practical… from our pedestrian Pony point of view!”

“One who speaks with such alliteration should not sneer at the notion of poetic language!” Luna poked my shoulder with her nose. “In any event I have prepared a scroll, under Cloud Caper’s direction, that will make things clearer.” She gestured with a hoof and there came a starshot burst of purple, heatless flame in my lap. It was gone before even my reflexes could kick in and in its place laid a scroll tied up with an indigo ribbon bearing a silver crescent-moon seal. Neat trick, that, and I told Her so!

“And this is going to be with me when I wake up? Or do I have to memorize it before that happens?”

“That and more, good Starry-Eyes. Both for the sake of those who may not believe… and for He that pursues you.” Luna nodded solemnly.

“Ok, you’re lapsing into the cryptic again. I need a little more, ah, moonlight shed on the subject.” I said with a smile.

Luna returned the expression. “The scroll may be considered proof for those who require it. Celestia and I have it in mind to send something else as well, a gesture of defiance for Discord to show that we both know of his treachery. In his arrogance he believes his Prism to be all-powerful. He believes that the Magic he wreaks with it cannot be undone, we mean to show him the error of his ways and shake his faith in that he has created.”

“… I’m curious about how you intend to do that.” I said cautiously. “I’ve seen the damn thing in action! If we weren’t able to exploit Discord’s ignorance of certain aspects of our science we’d all be part of the thing by now! Look, I’m an Equestrin and therefore not the best judge of Magic but, based on what I’ve seen and what Discord said…”

Luna silenced me with an upraised hoof and a calming look. “The Prism’s Magic is that of Death and Death is a solitary thing. My Sister and I deal with the Magic of Life and Harmony. Discord, In his cruelty, did not kill you and thus unwittingly exposed the limitations of his power. We have it in mind to restore what he has taken from you so that, when he beholds you again, he will see that Celestia and I are aware of what he has done and he will know that we have arrayed ourselves against him. The knowledge may stay his claw… or at least cause him to hesitate at a critical moment. For all his imagined might and glory, he will hesitate to act against Celestia.” She stated sternly.

“Your memories of Discord are millennia out of date.” I cautioned. “He’s rattling-off-the-rails, barking-at-the-Moon… you’ll pardon the expression…insane these days. If Tyllae is right, then who knows how much of the Discord you knew still runs around in his head?”

“Discord loved my Sister, once.” Luna said softly. “She was much of the reason he stayed in this Realm. Love is mightier than Death, Starry-Eyes. He remembers, never fear. The loss of Fluttershy tore at his mind, but the memory of Celestia burns at his heart!”

I sat back in my chair once again, wishing for a jolt of that Saurian Brandy in Sunny’s Sickbay… or a good slug of Amber Rose’s uskebaugh… just then! “I’ll defer to your knowledge on that.” I ruminated on the Princess’s previous statement for a bit.

“Wait!” I eyed her narrowly, my heart giving a little leap. “What do propose to…‘Restore’?”

“Your rightful body, of course!” She said with a playful twinkle in those Regal eyes. “There is enough before you to deal with as it is without having to do so in such an unnatural shape!” She rolled Her eyes innocently. “Unless you prefer to remain that way, that is. I know of at least one Alicorn that dreams differently!”

I was speechless for a little, blinking back grateful tears. “I would like that. Thank you.”

“You have both our gratitude, Starry-Eyes, for what you and yours have undertaken. I only wish we could do more.” She regarded me warmly for a moment before getting to the task at hoof. “Shall I begin…?”

I dismounted my chair to stand towering head and shoulders before Her. “I’m ready. Um, what do you want me to do?”

“Don’t worry!” She had the good grace not to laugh. “There is still no Pixy-dust involved.” …Now how could She have heard about that? “Merely accept this with our thanks.” She bent her head and her horn flared into life.

I was lifted a little off the deck as the dark nebula of Her magic surrounded me. It felt like Sunny’s telekinesis spell so that wasn’t so bad. But when the brilliant violet sparks began arcing around me I couldn’t help being… concerned. It didn’t hurt, mind you, but they rapidly increased in number, merging and enveloping me from heel to collarbone. Something like a wind stirred my shortened mane, billowing my clothes under the brilliance that spread upwards. I shot a nervous glance Her way as it climbed up to my chin but She remained still with Her eyes closed and the tip of her horn glowing star-bright. I relaxed as best I could and closed my eyes, thinking of Sunny until the light reached them, shining through as if they weren’t there. My mind whirled…

felt my boots touch the deck and I put out my hooves to keep from pitching forward face first. I blinked the afterglow out of my dazzled eyes… and my mane in all its thick, dark, lustrous glory fell around my shoulders! I felt the long-missed weight of my tail do the same with a thrill! Then and only then did I clutch at my chest to encounter the familiar heaviness there. I swore in that moment that I’d never bitch about them again! For the record I didn’t grope between my legs, I just knew it and they were gone!

“It is done.” Luna said simply.

I stood and tossed my mane out of my eyes in a gesture I didn’t realize until then I’d missed so much, and smiled the widest smile of my life at the Princess of the Night!

Luna’s eyes widened and her wings half-deployed! “Are… are you sure I got it right? I know that you are very tall… but you are huge!” Her horn gestured at my chest.

I glanced down and hefted them both, un-self-consciously for the first time in my life! “Yep, that’s all me all right!”

She folded Her wings back in one at a time and flopped down on her haunches eyeing me skeptically. “Are you sure? … How do you manage to walk? I mean, going around on two legs seems to be a mighty dicey situation to begin with but you’re so…. top heavy!”

“The Augmented physiology goes a long way toward helping out.” I laughed. “And, believe it or not, it’s considered attractive!”

Luna pondered that then smirked. “The Stallions must have it rough!” She giggled. “I can see why you all go clothed now!”

“I hope you never have occasion to find out!” I gathered the Alicorn up in a grateful hug! “Thanks, Luna, from both me and Sunny!”

“For what you are about to do, you have the gratitude of Celestia, myself, and all who dwell in Equestria-Among-The-Stars, Starry-Eyes.” She said as we disengaged, Her telekinesis setting Her tiara aright again.

“There’s that title again!” I hopped back into my chair, feeling so good that I just had to give it a single merry-go-round spin! Luna sat once again, smiling tolerantly. “Is that where you and Celestia have sequestered yourselves all this time? Where ‘among the stars’ is it? And who is living there with you? Two Ponies, be they Alicorns or not, do not make a country. Or are Stimbolt and Caper the first citizens? From what I recall of the Legend, you and Celestia left on your own.”

Luna blinked. “That is not so! Celestia announced The Leavetaking years in advance so that Ponies could decide for themselves if they wanted to stay. Thousands came with us in the end.”

“We found a world very much like our old one. Celestia, Cadence, Twilight, and I labored mightily to make it as hospitable as possible.” She continued. “Twilight helped me the The Moon, her appreciation of celestial bodies is almost on a par with your own!” She nodded to the displays circling the Bridge and winked.

“Ahem!” I shifted in my seat and re-blanked the displays that somehow rebooted themselves, giving The Princess of the Night a mildly remonstrative look. “Ok, but what star does it orbit? There’s nothing at five hundred light-years that fits the bill.”

“Equestria-Among-The-Stars circles no star made by Nature. Our Sun is an arcane construct and exists on no map of the stars of your science, Starry-Eyes. Neither it nor our world resides precisely within the bounds of the Universe you know, it is apart and yet linked to it. It was intended that Ponies would one day find the subtle clues its existence leaves in the fabric of the Universe and thus find us.” Her brow darkened as she frowned.

“But Discord, who indeed came with us, slipped his bounds unbeknownst to all by the Power of his Prism and crossed back into your Universe time and again. To our eyes he was the same as when he came and we had come to trust him. Celestia was eager to believe he had truly Reformed and so we allowed ourselves to be deceived. We had no reason to venture back into the Universe and contented ourselves to wait until… and if… Ponies found us.”

“Discord, in the meanwhile, had cloaked our Gateway in what I can only describe as pure Chaos! A roiling mass of energies arcane and physical, terrible to see and yet beautiful, that shred Reality and lays waste to all in its path. For Discord has set it flying among the Stars at speeds that rival your star-ship. For now it careens at random but Discord, I think, may yet learn to use his Prism to steer it at even greater speeds and to go where he wills it, this terrible Nexus of Realities formed around the core of our Gateway.”

“Discord intended that no Pony ever make it to the Gateway. If no Pony ever passed through then Celestia would never know what transpired beyond it, She is bound by the terms of the Magic She wove to make our Realm and is thus unable to look beyond the Gateway. She is an Honorable Alicorn.” One silver-shod hoof came out to trace idle designs on the deck as her eyes rolled away innocently. “…Her Little Sister, on the other hoof, is more precocious!”

“We all kept one arcane eye on the Gateway all those years. One Night, I perceived the Dreams of Ponies beyond it and chose to exercise my Royal Prerogative. Coming into a Dream is not the same as actually going there, after all! Once beyond the Gateway I saw what had become of it. Once I walked in the Dreams of your shipmates I began to piece together the sequence of events that led you all to this place.” She caught my eye and held it sternly. “I have no doubt that Discord is responsible for the Eugenics Wars as well as the terrible Wars that preceded it. You have heard from his own lips of his involvement with these Klingons and Romulans. I recognize his mark on these things. I, too, once heeded Discord’s whisperings… and paid a terrible, terrible price for my weakness.” She bent her head as if the weight of Nightmare Moon’s helm still bore her down and was silent for long moments, then… “To be Alone, be it within ourselves or wandering on the face of The Moon, is a terrible thing. Alone, we none of us are able to stand against Discord. The strength of Ponykind lay in working in Harmony with one another. That strength is there no matter how much Discord tried. Your Federation is proof of this. It is an outrage to Discord and he will move the stars themselves to bring it down.”

“And the Prism gives him a big enough lever to move them, doesn’t it?” I concluded grimly, rubbing my palms on my knees until a thought suddenly occurred to me. “Discord, by his nature is the very antithesis of Harmony, right?”

“Just so.” Luna nodded.

“Then that’s his Achilles Heel! It’s a paradox we can exploit! The archetypal Loner is paired with a partner now! Tyllae hinted that the damn thing has an agenda of its own! Hell, I’ve seen it buck him myself! If we can drive a wedge between him and the Prism somehow we can pry him away from it. … A rather poetic turn of events for the Lord of Chaos, given his track record.” I concluded.

“A commendable concept…” Luna pointed out. “But how to put it into practice? To speak to Discord is to be within the joint Power of both him and the Prism.”

“That’s a risk that needs to be taken.” I conceded. “While he’s talking he’s not swatting us from the sky, and Celestia knows… you’ll pardon the expression… the bastard dearly loves to talk!”

“I was under the impression that Equestrins like to swear by me since, like yourselves, I've dwelt among the stars!” She winked.

“Sunny's been rubbing off on me of late! Besides, Earth's Moon is only two light-seconds away. Hardly 'among the stars', you know!”

“It's still farther than any Pony got before a scant couple centuries ago, so there!” She stuck the Royal Tongue out at me and continued. “The stories I could tell you … will have to wait for another dream!”

From various stations on the Bridge displays were blinking, the muted beeps and chirps of the equipment altered their tone as they powered up. The Science Station indicated increased Computer activity while Engineering informed me that power levels were increasing and that fuel status was low. I was waking up, it seems, and breakfast was on my mind! We both looked around as the Bridge lights came up.

Luna rose gracefully to Her feet and gathered the Royal Dignity to Her once more. For now, the Slumber Party was over and She had other dreams to visit. “We must take thy leave of thee, good Starry-Eyes. For others the Night is still young!” She spread Her wings and flapped into the air, the ceiling seeming to recede from Her. “Remember! In three days time thy Ship must be at the appointed place lest the Gateway be swept beyond thy reach. If thou canst breach the Gateway then Celestia may come forth to aid thee in confronting Discord!” The Bridge grew dim and wavered as if it were a stage set at the mercy of a wind machine. The seats wind-vaned in the breeze, a loose stylus clattered onto the deck and Luna rose farther and farther away with each flexion of Her wings. The plaque designating the Starry-Eyes ‘A’ came loose and swirled up into the ether to follow Luna as an impatient thumping came from the turbolift doors.

“Fare thee well, Starry-Eyes! It was a Merry Meeting! Fare Thee Well… and Congratulations!” Luna cried, springing up high, her eyes blazing like comet nuclei. She rose up into star-strewn darkness until she was silhouetted against a blazing Full Moon…

I came awake with a little start as Sunny’s cuckoo clock squawked out the third hour of the new day. I fought off the familiar dream-disorientation and took stock of my sensations. A glance at my chest told me that it had all been real indeed. The spot of warmth between my breasts told me that Tyllae still dreamed. I could feel the scroll that rested there with her… I somehow just knew the little tyke was using it as a pillow! I stayed still, not willing to take away from her time with the Luna she loved so well.

I gave Sunny a squeeze as she snoozed on my shoulder. I would have kissed her head but she stirred, raising her head to look up at me sleepily.

“I’m sorry, Sunny!” I whispered. “Go back to sleep, Honey. The most wonderful thing just happened! I’ll show you in the morning.”

“S’alright.” She yawned and gave me a drowsy kiss. “She told me. She told me every blessed thing!” She snuggled herself under my chin and laid a hoof on my left breast, patting companionably.

“Oh?” I should have seen it coming...

“Aye.” She murmured. Then, before I knew it, she fetched me a tweak to the nipple that made me squeak! “I’ll allow ye yon Topaz Lode, but keep yer bloody eyes n’ hooves off that bloody Zebra! She’s taken n’ so’re ye!”

Author's Note

That's right, Ponies! From Luna's mouth to Mr. Adams' ears, the Answer is Forty-Two'!

Chapter Forty Four- An Assessment and a Summons

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

AN ASSESMENT AND A SUMMONS

Breakfast that morning became more of a Staff Meeting. The Scroll, it turned out, was written in Capers’ hoofwriting. Xantippe recognized Capers’ odd tendency to print Standard in capital letters at once. The Wardroom as well as the crew in the Galley greeted my reversion to normalcy with almost jaded acceptance… as if this sort of thing was becoming routine in Starfleet! Merry wanted to start a pool to see what I would be next week. … I told her exactly what she could do with her granola after she stuffed it into a wad of steel wool first! She took the comment, as she did Caper's, in the spirit in which it was offered. Some Ponies!

Xantippe wasn’t helping, either. “Next time, to enhance your aura, you might end up as a noble Zebra!” Maybe it was my guilty conscious, but there was something deep within her eyes that made me wonder just how much Luna took from my dream… and who she spread it around to! When I noticed Sunny looking at me looking at her I braced for the expected kick to my shin. But Sunny only waggled her spoon at the Yoemare who smiled quietly and turned her attention to eating her apple. The Mare in my head hooted and clapped her hooves, calling up something on her personal display I couldn’t make out from this angle. From the way she stared I just knew there were stripes involved!
Celestia must really give Luna a hard time!

Jerry snapped me out of my reverie.

“Five hundred and thirteen light-years in three days is a physical and arcane impossibility! We’d have to maintain a speed Time Warp thirty-nine…”

“Thirty-nine point six-seven.” Sekkack supplemented, munching on an artificial meat stick.

“Add all the decimal points you want…” Jerry treated the Vulcan to a glare. “Even with our computer working at one hundred percent efficiency and with the best Arcane enhancement to the crystals I couldn’t give us much more than Warp fourteen. Even then we couldn’t hold it for more than an hour or so at best! At Warp thirty-nine our Warp Field would be so tight we’d be squirted at our destination in a spray of tachyons and neutrinos… and a fat lot of good we’d do anypony in that state!” He shoved his empty cereal bowl away and rolled his apple behind it. Tyllae pounced on it and brought it back to give the bulk of the unwanted fruit a good home in her tummy.

“Ok.” Evee said, putting her own empty bowl on the serving cart Bob brought in. Tyllae, her cheeks bulging with apple, looked up eagerly but Evee folded her hooves protectively around it and continued. “We can’t make the rendezvous there so is there any way for us to predict its future course? Maybe we can intercept it.”

I made a face and tapped the open scroll. “Caper knows what the Ship is capable of so he must have been thinking along the same lines. With Discord at the Helm there’s no way of telling which way the damn thing’ll jump but Caper noted its last four major course changes and at no time did it make more than a forty-degree turn.” I suppressed a sigh. “To make things more complicated its velocity changes unpredictably, as well as its physical dimensions. Its speed varies between point three sublight and Time Warp six. Its size alters from a little over seven million miles to more that one-and-a-half light years, and no, there is no correlation between size, speed, and maneuverability. This thing is an abomination in the eyes of Physics!” I said in disgust, tossing off a glass of apple juice like it was sour cider.

“The shifting parameters of its physical size is most probably a consequence of the nature of whatever adjacent Universe is interacting with our own at a given instant. Like a three-dimensional object being perceived from a two-dimensional point of view.” Sekkack mused, steepling his fingers and looking thoughtful. “Were it not for the urgency and danger of the task before us this would be an excellent opportunity for us to gather unparalleled and unique scientific data that could further immensely the field of Quantum Physics.”

I appreciated the Vulcan’s ‘Flatland’ reference but I doubted any of the others did, though Jerry was jolted out of his frown when he said it he didn’t comment.

“The vast majority of our Sensory will be devoted to the modifications that, we hope, will allow us to deal with Discord.” I conciliated. “What’s left will, I assure you, be devoted to learning what we can. If… big if… we make it that far I’ll make sure you have first crack at the data. There’ll be enough for at least a dozen research papers in there I’m sure!”

“I look forward to the opportunity, Acting Captain.” He nodded gravely.

“Roight!” Merry dusted her hooves. “All we gotta do is head off a bleedin’ runaway Stellar Phenomena and doyve down its bleedin’ throat after we put down the biggest bloomin’ mad dog dragon-critter in the Galaxy! Piece of apple cake eh, eh?”

“That’s why we get the big credits, Merry!” I told her. “If it was easy anypony could do it!”

“Me old Dad always said Oy’d come to a bad end!” Merry shook her head. “Well… reckon this foight’ll be worth it, eh?”

We’re not dead yet, Mate!” I gave her a wink that earned me a more-or-less stifled guffaw. “This Ship has come through a lot and we’re still here. We have the advantage of knowing who and what we’re dealing with now and we’ll have allies once we breach this… Nexus of Realities. We just have to hang in there to that point.”

“We’re about as ready as we’ll be.” Jerry put in. “The balephaser banks are as modified as we can manage. The problem is that the emitters are made to project nadions, if we bump up the power too much either way they won’t be nadions any more! As it stands as of now we’ll either be pumping a coherent warp field out of them or a semi-coherent inertial damping field. Either way they simply aren’t made for that. You can’t turn an old-style shotgun into a sandblaster and expect it to last! …And don’t think re-enchanting the balefire elements hasn’t been a little slice of paradise, either!” He grumped. “I wouldn’t even know what to call them at this point! Weaponized subspace emitters are more properly duotronic countermeasures. These things’ll have more range but they’re horribly inefficient and if we’re not careful about which frequency we blaze away on we can screw up our own Warp Coils in the process.”

I poured myself another glass of juice and set my own apple in front of the Bottomless Fey who had just about done for Jerry’s.

“Don’t mince words, Jerry. Tell me what you really think!”

Jerry had the good grace to look sheepish. “Ok, ok! There isn’t much wiggle room in the safety margin and it won’t have nearly the range of a balephaser, but it’ll work. … I just hope somepony from Starfleet Engineering Corps doesn’t get a look at the shambles we had to make out of the balephaser assemblies. They’d bust me back to shuttle mechanic third class!”

“We’ll write it off as battle damage!” I assured him. “Our biggest problem is trying to put ourselves in the way of the Nexus. How much can we get out of the Time Warp Drive?”

“That’s a whole ‘nother set of problems.” Jerry said, settling back in his chair wearily. “We’ve been replicating new modules to replace the ones contaminated by Discord. I haven’t even tried to recycle the old ones! Given the nature of what he did to them I don’t want to get them near any duotronic device. When we first started replacing them I loaded the bad modules onto an antigrav cart to haul them away. Next thing I knew the damn thing took off on its own trying to pulp my Engineers against the bulkheads! All it takes is close proximity and it just jumps into another device. Now we just put the infected module on the deck and hit it with a maximum-power balephaser blast! It’s safer that way!”

I blinked. “Wow. I had no idea!”

“Well, you’ve had your hooves full with your own problems, haven’t you?” Jerry smiled wanly. “We’re handling it but the going is slow. You’ll remember that I warned you that the Main Computer modules are incredibly delicate things to replicate. The molecular tolerances involved are right on the thin edge of our capacities. We’re only getting a sixty percent success rate for our efforts. On top of that we’re integrating the new components into a currently running system, in effect upgrading a computer without shutting it down! It’s a ticklish business but we’re making it work.” He paused to rub the bridge of his nose. “I can and am giving you Warp Six point one. If the next set of modules comes out I can give you Warp Eight with Warp Eleven for brief emergencies. If not, all I can promise is a little over Warp Nine, call it two hundred and fifty-six days to cover the distance… and I can only give it to you for a few hours. That’s all I and my Ponies can do until we get our next shipment of miracles. Deliveries had been kinda slow lately.” Jerry smiled and I finally noticed the lines around his eyes that were never there before.

“Have you been getting any sleep, Jerry?” I asked softly.

“Enough.” He lied. “I’ve been developing a real taste for that Sparkle-Cola Rad. Running to the bathroom all the time keeps me awake! Don’t worry, Starry, it’s no worse than cramming for exams!”

“Uh-huh.” I said. “Look, I’m brevetting Melody to Science Officer in an hour or so. I’ll have her free up some Ponies to help with the Computer situation. We all need you and yours in the best shape possible for what’s coming. Check with her around ten hundred hours.”

Jerry raised his hooves. “Hay, you’ll get no complaints from me! Far be it from me to look a gift…”

“What am I, chopped vort?” Bors demanded, the mauve ribbons on his chin quivering with all the hot air he was generating. “I have an A-4 Computer rating even on these overthought Federation systems! I would be worth at least three Ponies when it comes to the repairs… if your Chief Engineer isn’t afraid of being embarrassed by superior Tellarite know-how!” Bogan stood as near to the table as his paunch allowed and glowered a challenge at Jerry.

For his part, the Chief Engineer reared up like his favorite antique soldering iron just burned him! “Are you kidding me? You never even saw a duotronic computer until you came aboard this ship!”

“Bah! A Logic Circuit is a Logic Circuit whether it’s in a quantum format or not!” Bors scoffed, rolling a hairy eye toward me with the shaggy ghost of a wink. “Admit it! You’re afraid of competition!”

Sekkack, doubtless having experience with the sort of situations Bors got involved with, interjected himself into the conversation smoothly. “I possess an A-5 rating and, of course, offer my services to the Engineering Department as my duties in the Science Section allow.” He folded his paws in his lap serenely and continued. “However, I feel it is my duty to clarify a previous comment on the part of my colleague. When he says that he is equal to three Ponies he was obviously referring to his mass and not, as he may have been misinterpreted, to his technical prowess.” It must have been an artifact of the lighting in the Wardroom that caused that seeming twinkle in the Vulcan’s eye…

I cut Bogan off as he swung himself toward Sekkack who only looked up expectantly. “Congratulations! You’ve both been assigned to assist with the Computer repairs. Consider it to be your top priorities.” I turned a stern eye to the pair of Aliens. “If I don’t see an immediate increase in productivity, gentlebeings, I’m sure Commander Jerry-Rig will find you something to do more in line with your abilities… like recycling machinery maintenance, maybe. Am I coming through loud and clear?”

“Acknowledged, Acting Captain.” Sekkack nodded.

“If you don’t see a two hundred percent increase I’ll trim off my chin-locks!” Declared Bors.

I looked around the Wardroom, gathering my Friends up with my eyes. “I know things have been rough and you’ve all been working very hard indeed and I appreciate all your efforts. I’m not about to insult your intelligence by trying to make you believe that we’ve gained the upper hoof with our preparations. This race is still neck and neck. Discord has to stop us and we have to win. Both sides have everything to lose… but we have all our loved ones back in the Federation counting on us and Discord only has what’s left of himself. That’s the edge we have on him. We’re in this not only for ourselves but for the billions back Home. Friends and Family matter more than Self-Indulgence and hollow Vengeance. He’s Powerful, frighteningly so… but we Care. We just have to hang on long enough to Get This Job Done.” I smiled a lopsided grin. “That’s my pep talk! Star, see what you can do about predicting where this thing’ll be and run up some intercept courses. You can bounce some ideas off me on the Bridge. I’ll be working with Melody fine-tuning our Sensor modifications. Let’s get back to work, Ponies!”

Bob had come back to gather the dishes. Tyllae had been busy ferrying gnawed-to-death apple cores to the refuse bin on his cart. As I wrapped up, she zoomed over to tug on my sleeve.

“Starry, Starry, Starry!”

“You can’t still be hungry! Look, Squirt, we only have a couple of years of food onboard…”

“No, no, no!” Tyllae waved a hoof and shook her head violently, only all the ballast she’d just taken on kept her from spinning out of control. “Tyllae hassa idea, a big, big, big idea! Tyllae lissened to alla Ponies an Tyllae knows now what Star-Wind wants Tyllae to do, yep, yep, yep! Tyllae knows how to get Her-mees where Luna wants!”

“All right! Calm down!” I offered her a hoof to perch on. “What do you have to do?”

The little Fey settled her rump into my palm and beamed up at me. “Tyllae gotta write a letter, Starry! Tyllae figgered out what Star-Wind told Tyllae. Tyllae can help but Tyllae gotta write a letter first to getta big, big, big surprise for poor old Discord!”

“Seems to me that all ‘em apples she ate turned to brandy in ‘er stomach!” Merry chuckled, then gave Jerry a dig in the ribs. “Wish Oy could get the ‘ang of that trick! Be a roight, proper time saver eh? Eh?”

“Hush, Merry!” I brought the Faery up to eye level. “Tyllae, you do know the nearest thing to a Post Office is back on Earth, don’t you? Nopony sends letters any more.”

“Gotta be a letter!” The Fey said stubbornly. “Gotta be able to read it, Starry! Trust Tyllae! Tyllae not stoopid, Tyllae knows what gotta do! Why don’t silly Ponies ever take Tyllae serious when poor, poor, poor Tyllae jus wanna help?” She got up and pranced on all fours in frustration.

“Tell ya what, Short-Stack!” Merry called out. “You wroite it up and Oy’ll transmit it moyself. Where’s it gotta go?”

“Jus gotta go out!” Tyllae pointed at the ceiling. “Out beyond Discord’s Magic!”

“Who are you sending this to, Squirt?” I wondered.

“Ekzackly!” The Fey nodded emphatically.

I sighed, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that this wasn’t going to get any clearer. I gestured to Xantippe who produced a padd out of the bag that she always carried.

The Yoemare patted the table next to her. “Come down here, Tyllae Dear. You recite and I shall write.” She snuck Sunny a knowing look. “At the risk of causing consternation, I’ve got quite the reputation for dictation!”

I facehoofed and blushed as the Fey leapt down. Sneaking my own glance around the table I was relieved to see only Sunny reacted to that statement, coughing delicately into her napkin. Mercifully, everypony else just looked confused.

Tyllae looked up at Xantippe. “Gotta rhyme?”

“No, little Fey, I will only write what you say.” The Zebra said gently.

“Oakey-dokes!” Tyllae cleared her throat and began. “Tyllae an Tyllae’s friends all need help! Discord gonna make everything bad, bad, bad for everybody! Tyllae needs help to help all Tyllae’s nice, nice, nice friends. Tyllae remembers enough not to ask for big, big, big hurry. Tyllae knows Doctor always comes in Time! Pee-Ess, Tyllae will make sure to have plenny of muffins!” She said brightly, then turned to Xantippe. “All done! Tyllae thanks!” She nuzzled the Zebra’s hoof in gratitude.

The Yoemare rolled her eyes to me silently.

“Tyllae.” I asked gently. “Who is the ‘Doctor’?”

The little Fey flitted up in front of my nose and noddled. “Thassa ‘zackly right, Starry! Yep, yep, yep!”

I contemplated the little mite with crossed eyes for a moment before extending my hoof for the padd. To be honest, my initial impulse was to swat her with it! We just didn’t have the time to indulge in Faery nonsense just then! ...Then I remembered how she charged in just to save Sunny and me. I remembered just what that heroic act cost the dear, little Fey. There was more to Tyllae than the perpetually hungry, silly-from-our-standpoint, almost unbearable cutesy thing that was all we could superficially see. There was nothing superficial about her. It’s a shame that History forgot the Fey as completely as it forgot the Goddesses. I couldn’t say with certainty that the best parts of what makes us Ponies were inherited from the ancient Little People who tried so hard to keep our forbears safe to make up for their archaic mistakes. Uncounted millennia later, the Very Last Faery hovered before me, still helping as best she could. It wasn’t her fault we didn’t understand how she did things. It certainly wasn’t an excuse to stop trusting her now!
I took the padd from Xantippe and slid it across the table to Merry.

“Deploy a marker buoy and have a hardcopy of this inside. Set it to transmit this message in plain text on all frequencies, just to improve our chances.” I said in the silence that filled the Wardroom. “Will that work all right, kiddo?”

“Thatta be just fine, Starry!” She whirled in place to address the room. She didn’t need to be an Empath or even a Vulcan to pick up on the undercurrent of skepticism. “Tyllae promised to help… longa time ago Faeries promised to help Ponies forever! Tyllae not the best Faery ever, nope, nope, nope! But Tyllae still tries even when Ponies think Tyllae all loco inna coco! ‘Sokay! Tyllae loves Ponies an never, never, never gonna quit! Neither should Ponies! Poor, poor, poor Discord gave up long ago after only one little try! Tyllae thinks Ponies are much, much, much better than Ponies realize. Better inna different way than Faeries! Tyllae wanna make sure Ponies stay around long enough so Tyllae can see how better!” She fluttered backwards to land in the palm she somehow knew I’d extended for her. “Tyllae just wanted to say that to all Tyllae’s friends. Tyllae thought alla nice, nice, nice Ponies should know. Whew! Tyllae is pooped!” She folded her legs and I rubbed her tiny head with my thumb as she gave every indication of getting ready to nap. I looked around expectantly.

“Questions? Comments?” I didn’t mind that all eyes on the room rested on Tyllae. I was genuinely touched when I noticed the looks of resolve tinged with tenderness and pride in the Wardroom.

“Oy got one!” Merry raised a careless hoof. “Yer all roight, Tilly! Roight bonzer sort!” She glanced around the room speculatively and made a point of cracking her knuckles. “Anypony don’t think so can meet me in the gym later. Bring yer pals! …And ya better bring yer bleedin’ ‘A’ games!”

“I don’t know about you guys…” Evee spoke up. “But after the Romulans and all, it’s nice to know that somepony thinks we’re worth the trouble!”

“We Tellarites recognized your worth from the very first moment!” Bors said breezily. “That’s why we let you ally with us!”

Sekkack gave him a glance that was neither annoyed nor pitying. “As I recall, the Tellarites reported that they had ‘conquered’ the Equine Race upon their First Contact… which came decades after the Vulcan Race became the first species to open diplomatic relations with Earth. Relations based on our admiration for their indomitable spirit, I would add.”

“Bah!” The Tellarite snorted. “The Vulcans sat on their hands while Earth fought two Global Wars! They didn’t even bother to talk with them until they saw the Earthlings test their Warp Drive Prototype!”

“A prototype they made available as a gesture of goodwill to all.” Sekkack countered. “We were deeply impressed by their altruism.”

“Bugger th’ lot o’ ye!” Sunny made it a point to keep her voice at a conversational level although her expression positively thundered! “Can ye no see th’ wee thing’s tryin’ t’ sleep? Gi’ me th’ wee Darlin’ n’ I’ll take her wi’ me t’ Sickbay. Fine way t’ be thankin’ her for her efforts, th’ poor Lassie!” Both aliens shut up, Bors cringing and Sekkack nodding his head in grave apology.

I handed her off to Sunny. I knew better than to point out that, when she puts her mind to it, Tyllae could sleep through an explosive decompression!

Jerry got up. “If Tyllae’s going to stick up for us I can at least make the mess look orderly! Let’s hope this Doctor is an Engineer!”

Hope is the Order of the Day!” I agreed. “Let’s go, Ponies! We’ve got a full day waiting for us.”

Author's Note

Whats another franchise infringement between friends? Especially nice friends with friendly lawyers with a well-developed sense of humor! I suppose, given my track record, that this shouldn't come as a complete surprise. I did mention that Tyllae remembered a certain Pony with a Blue Box after all! :)

Chapter Forty Five- By Way of Gallopfrey

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

BY WAY OF GALLOPFREY

I watched the torpedo casing carrying the body of my old friend stretch and disappear with a dull red glow as it exited our warp field. In the privacy of my environment suit I pondered the nature of the grief these situations cause. I wondered if part of the sadness of those left behind was caused by a nagging uncertainty concerning the fate of the dearly departed. Until recently Death was an absolute. Nopony who experienced it ever came back... the anecdotal and questionable reports of purported mediums aside... to offer any data. Now, though, there was a Scroll written by my departed friend and Captain that offered an answer.

I had it scanned and stored in the memory banks of the Ship's Computer. The original I left in the Galley for anypony to read and draw their own conclusions. Sunny seemed shocked that I didn't lock it up someplace. My position, however, was that it had been written for the sake of all the Crew, it's not as if it were a personal letter! With Equestrin stubbornness I maintained that locking it away would only invite charges that it was a forgery created to justify my continuing our Mission. I could only offer my Word for its veracity and if that wasn't good enough for some Ponies then that was on them. Me, I knew!

I wasn't surprised... though I was ashamed... when I heard that there was an attempt to steal or destroy it, I don’t have all the details and I suppose I never will. It happened while I was on the Bridge prior to the funeral. I received a call from Sickbay from Rocky. When I arrived, two Ponies whom I flatly refuse to identify were being treated for multiple bruises, abrasions, and a cracked forearm. It was explained to me that they were caught in the act of either tearing up the Scroll or simply snatching it. There are always some crewponies in the Galley and unidentified Ponies stopped them. An altercation followed, and a younger newcomer to the Ship did what they thought was The Right Thing and Security was called.
A good Crew polices itself, and I inherited an excellent one. Whatever shortcomings the perpetrators have, they refused to identify their assailants. I'm reasonably sure that Rocky wasn't the original responder since he would have getting ready to participate in the ceremony. He was there, though, looking grim and taking responsibility for the call without so much as a hair in his mane out of place and wearing an unruffled uniform. Not that I had any doubt of his ability to subdue two amateurs, mind you, it was clear that he was covering for his Ponies. Shielding them from the fallout, ok, I'm an Equestrin and I could appreciate that.

The Scroll was partially crumpled and one corner was nearly torn off. I carefully smoothed it out as I listened to the two of them make their case. Since I knew the truth of its origins I didn't pay them much mind. I did tell them, though, that we live in a Free Society and they were certainly allowed their opinions. I was sorry that they refused to accept the evidence I made available. I politely inquired if they believed the worlds to be flat and that Hoofstrong never landed on the Moon as well? I pointed out that, unlike them, I didn't take it upon myself to deprive others of the chance to make up their own minds. To remind them of my fairness I told them that to my knowledge the only thing they were guilty of was brawling. It would be up to Starfleet to decide if they were guilty of anything more significant. More telling... at least I hoped so... was the fact that they had forfeited my trust in them. I told them that, as far as I was concerned, they were not fit to wear a Starfleet uniform. Accordingly, I restricted them to separate cells in the Brig. They would be allowed out on their Watch to perform their duties... and I made they would assigned to duties that would give them no access to vital systems. I made it clear in no uncertain terms that they had inconvenienced their Shipmates who now had to shoulder the extra work. In a quiet voice I damned both of them to whatever Hell would have them and had Rocky take them away. I didn't want to see either of them ever again. Whatever Ship I commanded or served on in the future, I swore I would make sure they never sullied its decks!

I made damn sure that this incident went into their Service Records as well. I wasn't being vindictive. I had the authority to drum them right out of Starfleet. Their actions, after all, were in direct violation of the spirit the Federation was chartered. It was just conceivable; however, that one or both of them would see the error of their ways and be better Ponies for it. The Mare in my head, being an even more pragmatic Pony than myself, only snorted at that and bid me to keep thinking wishfully!

Before he left I made it clear as vacuum to Rocky, with the understanding he would pass it along to the rest of the Crew, that I would tolerate no hazing of these individuals. In their solidarity, nopony stepped up to indict these two. It was just a brawl involving a couple of hotheads. As I mentioned, a Good Crew polices itself. Until, and if, they redeemed themselves they were effectively dead to their Shipmates. They'd both have to live with that.

A Klingon Captain would have probably gutted them on the spot. A Romulan one, based on what we observed during the War, would probably blow the ship up out of shame. On Equestris they would have gotten their lumps and would be set free. There would be one and only one warning. We don’t believe in the old ‘three chances’… if they did it again they’d end up at the bottom of a worked out shaft or had an ‘accident’ on the surface harvesting The Molten River. I was as just as I could bring myself to be, caught between two worlds as it were… I like to think that I incorporate the best of both of them. In any case, if recent events were anything to go by, they'd have to answer to a Higher Authority eventually, wouldn't they?

So it was in something of a moody state that I made my rounds of the Ship after the Services. The revelations of the last couple of days took a lot of the sting out of Caper’s loss so there wasn’t the sort of subdued air of sullen somberness one might have expected otherwise. The Grapevine had spread the word about what happened in the Galley across the entire Ship by then. I was half afraid I’d be greeted with protestations of loyalty wherever I went… the deeds of those two had managed to shake me that much! I didn’t want my Ship to become a Police State with me cast in the role of Big Sister!

The reality was a balm to my soul! Ponies made time to talk to me no matter how busy they were glad, perhaps, for the excuse for a break. What happened was a shame and, though nopony wanted to look like a sycophant, there was a general feeling that the parties involved deserved worse. We talked about Caper, about the odder elements of the Dreams they were having of late, even about my time walking on the other side of the gender line! I didn’t mind a bit. Given that we all lived in such relatively close quarters and were facing an uncertain future to boot there didn’t seem much point to be reserved!

The Second Watch was winding down as I made my way along the corridors feeling better than I’d felt for a while. I was outside Cargo Bay Two, thinking about popping up to the Galley for a bowl of ice cream, calories be damned, when I heard it!

Living aboard a Starship one is accustomed to various levels of background noise. Generally speaking, the closer one gets to Engineering the pulsing thrum of the plasma conduits gets louder. In portions of the Ship nearest to high-energy equipment there is always the hum of high frequency electricity leaking through the walls. Near the turbolifts one hears the muted swoosh of a car going by and those living or working near the various reclamation facilities get treated to the odd thump and gurgle as the automated systems recycle everything organic onboard. Over it all is the gentle susurration of the life support system cleaning and redistributing the very air we breathed.

This sound, though, was one guaranteed to send chills down the spine of the most inept Engineer! I froze in my tracks when I became aware of it. It started out softly but quickly grew louder, a slow, grinding scraping noise like a giant grinding a metal drum into the deck with ponderous twists of its hoof! Or maybe like Celestia’s Own Elevator seizing up and grinding to a halt! There were odd, almost chiming noises as it reached its climax and a sudden wind blew down the corridor though the nearest vents were around the corner from me. I was already sprinting for the nearest comm panel when it all ended with a pervasive, almost subsonic boom! As I thumped the button my mind was racing to figure out what had just happened. I kept one ear open for the sounds of explosive decompression and sniffed the air for the signs of a fire.

“Captain Starry-Eyes to the Bridge!”

“Lieutenant Kirk here, Captain.”

“Signal Yellow Alert! I’m on deck Ten outside of Cargo Bay Two. There seems to have been some sort of…” I couldn’t think of a better way of describing it. “Catastrophic mechanical failure in or around the Cargo Bay. Get a Damage Control party down here immediately and have Sensory do a sweep of the area. I’m going to check the Cargo Bay for damage or injured Crew!”

“Yellow Alert! Yellow Alert! Damage Control to Cargo Bay Two!” Merry's replacement, a Stallion named Code made the announcement. At every intersection the yellow Alert lights began to flash. I could hear the bulkheads closing nearby, sealing off this section of the hull. Without an override from the Bridge they would open only for the Damage Control Responders.

“Yellow Alert, aye-aye, Ma'am!” Kirk came back crisply. “Damage Control in on its way...” He paused and I could picture him looking over to Melody at the Science Station. “Sensors show no damage. I'm checking with Engineering.”

“Keep me posted. Starry-Eyes out!”

“Aye-aye!”

I thumbed off the comm and made my way to the double doors sealing the Cargo Bay. With the Yellow Alert on they'd have to be opened manually. I gingerly touched their surface. they weren't nearly as well insulated as the walls If there was a fire on the other side they'd be warm. On the other hoof, if the Bay decompressed they'd be a lot cooler... and they wouldn't open at all!

I flattened myself against the wall... failsafes had been known to fail in the past and there was no point in taking chances... and triggered the door mechanism.

The doors slid smoothly open as I held my breath. I heard rapid hoofsteps coming quickly from within. Somepony was trapped inside, trying to get out!

I stepped into the doorway just in time to have somepony run into me! I reached out to fend whoever it was off and grabbed... something warm and soft. Bob slid to a halt, windmilling his arms to keep his balance. He wasn't wearing a shirt. He had it clutched in one hoof instead. I looked down at the figure in my arms, straight into the wide, brown eyes of my Yoemare!

Xantippe had her blouse in one hoof and her bra in another and was wearing something black and lacy by way of underwear. She would have covered herself with her hooves, but I was already doing that for her!

“Oh, no!” She whispered, freezing when she recognized me.

Bob tried to stand at attention and salute at the same time. ...Part of him was at attention already and gave a one-eyed wink to all of us!

“C-Cap'n!” He gulped and blushed, mortified, pointing with his free hoof behind him. “You ought to see it! Came roight outa nowhere! The damndest thing you ever saw! ...Uh, next to this!”

The Mare in my head was doubled over, laughing! No doubt she was filing this image away as a treasure memento...
I popped my hooves open and took a quick step back, staggering Xantippe and making her jiggle enticingly. I could feel my muzzle and ears burning.

“All right,” I managed to get out in a more-or-less normal voice. “I won't ask what's going on here, but what the Hell was that noise?” The Mare in my head suggested that the Starship has just Moved. I spun her chair around fast enough to make her squawk and hang on! “Bob, put that thing away before you hurt yourself! Xantippe... get dressed! Damage Control is on the way!”

The trouble with an integrated crew on a long-duration voyage is that, well, Mares are Mares and Stallions are Stallions! A Starship is not a luxury liner and there is no real privacy, officially, to be had. Junior Officers share quarters. Command Officers have private cabins. The rest of the Crew live communally by Department, eight or ten to a room much in the same way I got by back Home. When Biology rears its uh, head, one has to make... arrangements one way or another. There's always a quiet corner on some ship a couple could steal away to. Me, I took cold showers until I made Lieutenant. Then I uh, took matters into my own hooves while my roomy was away.

I stepped into the Cargo Bay turning my back on the Zebra while she scrambled into her clothes the Mare in my Head tweaking the peripheral vision settings. I sent her a reminder to get back to work! Bob turned aside and sealed his trousers while I winced, remembering all too well what that felt like!

What I saw completely took my mind off the lovers!

At the back of the Bay, right against the shuttle doors, stood a rectangular box standing on its end. It was made of wood, I recognized the stuff from my time on Earth, and was painted a dark, somewhat weather-worn blue. The side facing me had two narrow doors, each one bearing a group of six vertically-aligned rectangular windows of solid white glass. Upon the left was affixed a sign. On a weathered, white background, printed in centered capital letters of varying sizes ran the notice...

POLICE TELEPHONE
FREE
FOR USE OF PUBLC
ADVICE & ASSISTANCE
IS AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY

OFFICERS & CARS
RESPOND TO ALL CALLS
PULL TO OPEN

Along the top was a band of black which bore the legend, POLICE PUBLIC CALL BOX. Its roof was flat, but the center peaked up gently and bore at its apex a light underneath a domed, cylindrical covering of some sort, dark as I looked at it. The thing was only a few inches taller than I am. Amid the neatly stacked, polygonal cargo containers it stuck out like the proverbial sore thumb!

Bob shrugged into his shirt and stepped up beside me. His voice could have been twenty-percent calmer but he did a great job of salvaging his aplomb... if not his dignity. His normally repressed accent came through.

“That's the beast. Made a hell of a racket comin' in! That loight on top was blinkin' blue in time with that caterwaulin' it was doin'. Just came outa nowhere, it did. First we heard the noise, then it just faded into bein'. Not loik any sorta transporter, magical or otherwise I ever saw.” He eyed the thing sourly. “Roight proper mood killer, that!”

“Didn't look like it from here.” I said drily, never taking my eyes off the thing.

“Well, ‘S loike they say. ‘Can’t keep a good Pony down’, eh?” He gave me his easy grin while I facehoofed.

I snuck a cautious peek over my shoulder. “You ok, Xantippe?”

“My dignity is ruffled but I will manage.” She stepped up and peered out from behind Bob. “Do you suppose that is the Doctor’s carriage?”

I stepped over the comm panel by the door and hit the button. “Bridge! Belay Damage Control and secure from Yellow Alert. Everything’s quiet down here.” I paused to eye the enigmatic thing that just arrived. “Call Sickbay or the Galley. See if anypony knows where Tyllae is at and send her down here. Her friend seems to have arrived.”

“The Doctor, Captain?” Kirk asked. “Doctor who?”

“Damned if I know, Lieutenant.” I sighed. “Damned if I know.” I clicked off and took up station in front of the Big Blue Box, putting my hands on my hips and giving it another visual going-over.

“This thing can’t be a ship! It’s more like some sort of crazy escape pod!” I gave it a dubious look. “Is anypony packing a communicator by any chance?”

“Nah!” Bob gave Xantippe a quick wink. “Only brought enough equipment for the job at hoof.”

“Well we couldn’t jimmy a door open with that no matter how highly you think of it!” I rolled my eyes while the Yoemare ran a hoof through her short mane and smiled a small, secret smile at the Quartermaster.

“So, do we only stand and balk? Or should somepony be so bold as to knock?” She asked, smoothing out her outfit and adjusting her straps.

I gave the doors an irritated look. “Seems like we should since whoever’s inside doesn’t seem inclined to come out.” Stepping up to the right-hoof door I noticed there was a keyhole in a round, brass lock. I rapped on the door with my knuckles three times. When nothing came of that I tugged on one of the D-handles the doors were equipped with. It didn’t budge at all, not one millimeter of give. Odd, given the relatively flimsy-looking construction of the thing! I tugged harder twice, the last time with enough strength that I should have ripped the thing free.

“Ok.” I rejoined our little group. “So much for that!”

“If it’s an escape pod they might be injured or unconscious in there.” Bob drawled thoughtfully.

“We’re still left with the same two conclusions.” I considered the thing. “He won’t come out or He can’t come out. The question is can we get in? That thing is more solid than it looks!”

“Are we sure that this belongs to the Doctor?” Xantippe stepped a little to one side, looking it over from a new perspective.

“Tyllae mentioned she knew a Pony who had a Magic Blue Box once upon a time.” I nodded to it. “Seems like too much of a coincidence to be anything else. Great! More Magic to have to contend with!” I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice as I turned away from it, the idea of calling in somepony from Engineering to take a crack at getting it open taking shape in my head. “Give me good, reliable technology any day! I’ve always said my ancestors had the right idea when they eschewed…”

I stopped as Bob and Xantippe looked behind me at the same moment while a voice spoke up behind me.

“As a wise man, er, Pony once said, ‘Any sufficiently advanced technology would be indistinguishable from magic’. It’s all a matter of perspective, isn’t it?”

I whirled around, nearly knocking Bob over with my upper torso in the process! The door I’d tried was now open and before it stood…

I blinked twice while the Mare In My Head leaned forward, staring intently at her screen. In the vision supplied by Discord I’d seen Ponies who went about on four legs but that entire episode, coming from where it did, made me skeptical about the concept. Luna and Celestia I could accept as quadrupeds, they were archetypes after all! But the idea of rank-and-file Ponies having four legs never took hold in my mind. It just didn’t seem reasonable, somehow!

The Stallion who stood before me was just a bit more than half my size, his head just about up to Xantippe’s collarbone. He was a soft brown with a chestnut mane pushed back carelessly from his forehead. On his bare hindquarters he bore the image of a cocked hourglass and he wore an open brown jacket on his forequarters with darker brown patches on the elbows. Something silvery like an overgrown stylus or maybe an old-style pen protruded from one of the pockets. There was an old-style wristwatch with an analog display with a flexible gold band on his right wrist, er, hock. A pert red bow tie was fastened around his neck, a nice compliment to his smiling, blue eyes.

“Hello.” He held a foreleg up to his breast and said brightly. “I’m The Doctor!”

Author's Note

STARRY- Hay! I've got a question about this Doctor! What's his name? I have to know whom I'm talking to!
AUTHOR- *Busy writing* Who.
STARRY- The Doctor. What's his name?
AUTHOR- The Doctor.
STARRY- Who?
AUTHOR- Yes. *Cusses and backspaces*
STARRY- *Blinks* His name is what?
AUTHOR- Who. *Takes a cola break*
STARRY- *Breaks a cola over his head*

Chapter Forty Six- ...And Ditzy, too!

[center]CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

…AND DITZY, TOO!

I was the first to recover. Composing myself, I stepped forward and peered down at the figure before me. He looked up at me fearlessly, his eyes darting to my Cutie-patch, my hooves, my legs… as well as my primary mammalian assets! He craned his neck and cocked his head from side to side as I approached.

“I am Captain Starry-Eyes of the Starship Hermes, upon which your… device… has arrived. That gentlestallion over there is Apple Bob, our Quartermaster, and the Zebra Mare next to him is Xantippe, my Yoemare. In the name of the United Federation of Pastures I welcome you aboard, Doctor… who?” I extended a hoof out of courtesy, not sure if he would recognize the gesture.

The little guy had to half-rear to get his hoof up high enough. He put it in mine and gave it a quick shake, smiling.

“Yes, quite!” He resumed his footing, readjusting his tie and giving me a reassuring pat above the knee. “That never gets old no matter how many times I say it! Just call me The Doctor and we’ll get along famously. Allow me to introduce my dear Companion, Miss Doo. Ditzy? Come say hello, don’t be shy!” he made a come-hither gesture at the open door behind him and out stepped a soft grey and blonde Pegasus who paused self-consciously in the doorway with her wings held tightly against her. She smiled up at us tentatively and gave a little wave of a foreleg. “Hi, everypony!” Her eyes were huge and marigold-yellow, as I watched the left one rolled to look away and upward. It would be an off-putting performance all by itself, but it was her voice that made the Mare in my Head sit up, alarmed.

She replayed it for both our benefits, noting the definite slowness in her pronunciation and the element of vacantness in her expression. Before I quite realized it, I’d snatched my hoof away in the act of extending it. There was something wrong with her mind… she was a Cull! I gave her a look Earthly Ponies reserve for unshielded, infectious waste.

“Miss Doo.” I nodded, giving her a brief, intense scrutiny before returning to the self-styled Doctor. His pale blue eyes had narrowed slightly in disapproval as if he had, in a split second, somehow been privy to what he been going through my mind.

“Yes…” He drawled. “Well, we got your message and came at once, didn’t we? Oh we had to make a stop or two along the way…”

“I just don’t know what went wrong!” Ditzy-Doo put in.

“But we got here just the same!” The Doctor finished smoothly. “And that’s what counts! The TARDIS may have her eccentricities but the old girl always comes through in a pinch!”

From the open doorway behind him came a discordant, twanging sort of bong…

“Steady on!” The Doctor admonished, giving what lay inside a warning look.

The proceedings were interrupted an instant later by a familiar figure who appeared with a soft pop to circle the newcomers in a flitting figure-eight flight path.

“Yayy! Dokker, Dokker, Dokker! Ditzy, Ditzy, Ditzy-Doo, Doo, Doo! Remember Tyllae? Hi-hiii, nice, nice, nice Blue-Boxy!” She paused for a microsecond to wave at the wooden structure before resuming her zooming in and around the four-legged pair as the blue light atop it blinked three times in apparent acknowledgement.

The Doctor watched her tolerantly, as if it were all old hat to him. His Companion, one the other hoof, flapped into the air about eye level with me and did her best to match the Fey’s aerobatics with foal-like abandon. As the two capered in mid-air, Bob and Xantippe stepped quietly forward.

“G’day, Doc.” He said in his unhurried way and extended a hoof. “Any choom of the little ‘un’s a choom of moine. Loike the Boss Lady said, name’s Apple Bob. Pleased t’meetcher.”

“As for me, I am Xantippe.” The Zebra’s culture being more reserved, she clasped her hooves before her in over-and-under fashion and bowed from the hip.

He shook Bob’s hoof warmly and bowed his neck to the Zebra as Tyllae returned, perched on Ditzy’s head and grinning like a maniac.
“Happy to make your acquaintance, the both of you.” He coughed delicately into one hoof. “Forgive our abrupt arrival. I needed to put us down as close as I could to your power systems and this was the largest space I could find. I, ah, didn’t think anypony was using the area at the time. We thought it best to wait a little bit before opening the door.” He gave Bob a broad wink, who only put his arm around the Yoemare’s waist and shrugged.

“No worries, Mate!”

Xantippe only closed her eyes demurely… and sidled closer to Bob.

I cleared my throat in an effort to get back to the task at hoof. “Doctor, if Mister or Miss ‘Tardis’ would like to come outside and stretch their legs they’re more than welcome to join us.” I cocked an eye at the structure. “It must be pretty crowded in there.”

“Oh, TARDIS isn’t a proper name.” Ditzy put in helpfully. “It’s an acronym. That’s a title that is made of up the first letters of…”

“I am quite well aware of the definition of an acronym.” I said more coldly than I intended, barely giving her a glance while Tyllae frowned and the Pegasus shut up in a hurry. She averted her good eye while the other rolled even farther off-kilter as she fidgeted in embarrassment.

“TARDIS…” The Doctor put in to the uncomfortable silence. “Stands for Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. It is what my people call this type of machine, though it’s really more than a mere mechanism. It would save us all a great deal of explanation if I would just show you and get it all out of the way. Won’t you all please come inside for just a moment? Miss Doo, would you be so kind as to show them the Control Room? Follow Miss Doo, everypony! Tyllae, you’ll want to stay outside if I’m not mistaken.”

“Right, right, right!” The Fey agreed. “Too much metal an’ buzzy-thingies. Hurts poor, poor, poor Tyllae’s ears!” She launched herself into the air to flutter next to my head. “Tyllae will wait right here. Appley-Bob an’ Zeeba-Tippy gonna get big, big, big surprise! Hee-hee!” She tittered and tried to smother her giggles with her hooves.

“Oaky-Dokey-Lokey, Doctor! Come on, everypony!” With that, the Pegasus got airborne and waved us to follow. With an ease born of long experience she zipped right through the narrow door… and clipped her starboard wing in the process. “…Ow.”

“Just through there, if you please!” The Doctor said briskly. “…And, please, don’t touch anything you see! Lots of delicate instruments in there!”

Bob gave me a questioning look and I nodded. “You two go in first. It’s gonna be a squeeze for me to get through there. Does that other door open?”

“No.” The Doctor said firmly. “There’s plenty of room inside but you’ll just have to manage the door as it is. It was only a matter of time before this came up. I simply must get the Chameleon Circuit fixed one day! You two trot along and we’ll bring up the rear.” He gave me a significant glance. “I’d like to have a word with the Captain first.”

“Roight.” Bob nodded, looking carefully at the both of us. “We’ll just have a quick look ‘round and we’ll be back in a jiffy then.”

“We’ll be right behind you, Bob.” I assured him.

With that he gathered up Xantippe, who had been doing her best to penetrate the gloom beyond the doorway, took her hoof, and stepped inside. The Doctor and I were alone in the Cargo Bay.

He leaned against a cargo container and looked up at me affably. “You’re from…” He searched his memory for a moment. “Fifty-four Draconis A, if I’m not mistaken? The world settled by the Superponies who didn’t align themselves with neither Khan nor the Cadre of Colonel Green?”

I regarded him coolly. “Are you asking me or telling me? We call it Equestris…and we prefer the term ‘Augments’ as opposed to ‘Superponies’.”

“I stand corrected.” He said with a disarming grin. “My, you are a big drink of water, aren’t you? Though rather smaller than the rest of your fellow Colonists, hmmm. …How do you cope with that, shall we say, distinction? As I recall they’re none too forgiving of those who deviate too much from their arbitrary norm.”

I put my hooves behind my back and tossed my mane back before giving the Doctor a level look. “I’m considered very short by our standards, though I’m within acceptable standards. Barely.” I added, frankly, before cocking my head slightly at him.

“You seem to know a lot about the place, though I doubt it comes firsthoof. You’ve made quite a study of the database.”

“Young Lady, there aren’t many places in all of Time and Space I haven’t walked.” He looked at me with such conviction that I refrained from commenting. “You see, I prefer to investigate these things for myself rather than rely on the observations of others. It’s the mark of a true Scientist.”

I considered the Little Pony before me. “I’m not impressed by your attempts at being enigmatic, Doctor. Is there a reason for you bringing up Equestris just now?”

He crossed one foreleg over the other, sneaking a glance at his watch in the process. “How do you handle the, ah, genetic inadequacies of your crewmates, I wonder? You seem to accept them without a qualm from what I’ve observed. Indeed, you seem to be on quite good terms with them. Especially the young Zebra.” He nodded thoughtfully. “She does have a certain amount of exotic appeal, doesn’t she? Personally, I don’t have time for anything like that any more…”

The Mare in my head started in her seat, blushing, while I ignored the lie. “They can’t help how they’re born. After all, their society doesn’t make distinctions in that regard. I can hardly hold it against them and they don’t hold my upbringing against me.” I said flatly, seeing where he was steering this conversation.

“Ditzy… Miss Doo…” He amended with a lopsided grin. “Can’t help how she was born, either. The Science of her day did not allow her condition to be detected, let alone, treated before birth. She copes quite admirably despite her disadvantages.”

“Your point, Doctor?”

He was silent for a moment, sizing me up with his eyes. “Before coming here I was advised by somepony important that you had an important role to play in the forthcoming events.” He gave me a speculative look. “Meeting you, though, makes me wonder in just which way?” His voice trailed off and he pursed his lips.

“I can’t help but feel that I’m being judged here. Doctor, I didn’t call you here. If you can help keep my Ship and Crew safe I’d greatly appreciate it. We can, frankly, use all the help we can get! I’m sorry if I offend you, but I have a Job I Have To Get Done. Is your assistance dependent on your approval?”

“Not at all, not at all! I was just wondering…?”

“Yes?”

“How is Miss Doo any less of a person than a Gorn, a Tellarite … or a Faery?”

I scrutinized the Pony who scrutinized me in return.

“Let me answer that question with a question.” I began. “You seem to be remarkably well informed in regards to my activities. Fine. You might have hacked the Federation database but you sure as Hell couldn't have gotten into our computers. So I'm going to go out on a limb here and put forth the proposition that you're not a Pony, aren't you?”

The Doctor said nothing, gave away nothing.

I tilted my head toward the Blue Box. “I'm going to go in there and see some sort of incredible technology, aren't I? Something beyond Earth, Equestris, or the Federation. Your glib smugness in regards to that thing suggests to me that it's more than a simple travel pod with a bad décor.” I eyed him. “'Time And Relative Dimensions In Space', was it? That thing is the terminal point of some sort of Time-Travel device, isn't it? From some world outside the Federation, or some time.”

“Very good!” The Doctor spared me a smile. “And very perceptive of you, well done! You're very nearly right on all points. Suffice it to say that I am, indeed, an Alien.” He gestured deprecatingly. “Was that you question?”

“Just the preamble.” I shook my head. “Let's look at the facts. You have a working Time Machine. By inference you can move in both Time and Space. Your manner says to me that you've been doing this for a while now, from the viewpoint of us outside observers anyway. In all your, ah, time, Doctor. All the places you've visited...” I gave him a sharp glance as an idea just then occurred to me. “Or perhaps you were more than a tourist! Your foreknowledge must come with a terrible temptation to do more than just look. Let's leave that for a moment.” I said as he stirred. “In all your travels I'm sure you must have seen things that, despite your intellect, simply revolt you on some primal level. I am a product of my culture, Doctor. On Equestris the brain-damaged are not suffered to live. That's changed a lot over the last couple decades. The Federation gave us the means to better manage what, before, was deemed a liability The Colony couldn't afford. I try to keep an open mind but I'm still a Pony with my own biases and preconceived ideas. I'm sorry if that bothers you. If it makes you feel better I promise to give Miss Doo the benefit of the doubt. I'm not Khan, Doctor, and I'm getting more and more tired of people who judge me by his example. In the meantime you'll just have to be patient.”

The Doctor stood and took a step closer. Yes, there was something undeniably alien in those eyes. Something that hinted at a point of view... or collection of experiences... that I could scarcely imagine. No, there was no hostility there. I'm hard put even now to say with precision what I saw, it was too complex.

“Oh, brave new world that has such Ponies in it.” He quoted softly. Then, “That's an odd sort of question, isn't it?” He asked noncommittally.

“The question, Doctor, is how am I any less of a person than you?”

I genuinely believe that I surprised him! He looked at me blankly for less than a second before breaking into a frankly horsey grin.

“Touché!” He exclaimed. “Oh you are just the most interesting sort of Pony! … And I'm sorry to be such a sanctimonious prig, but that's the price you pay for Regeneration! You never know how all the old marbles will fall out, eh?” He couldn't reach high enough to give me a companionable punch to the arm without rearing, so he settled on giving me one in the ribs. “You come highly recommended, indeed, and I'm sure you'll like Ditzy... once you give her a chance.”

There were no particular reasons, given the circumstances, for me to warm up to much less like this Pony. … Yet I found myself smiling.

“A chance is all any Pony can ask for, isn't it?” I gave him a serious look then. “Just who are you, Doctor?”

He sighed and shook himself before answering. “As time goes on, my dear Captain, I've come to realize that, in the end, all I am is a Mad Pony With A Blue Box.” He looked up at me with quiet, earnest eyes. “But I'm here to help, and I'll do so to the best of my ability. You have my Word on that.” What could there have been in those timeless eyes that made me believe him? The Faeries only wanted to help. I wondered just how old his species were that they produced somepony like him? Is benevolence a by-product of long-accumulated wisdom? What mistakes did the Doctor... or his people... make that he felt he had to atone for? ...And why did I feel that I had to analyze this so much? His past, and his reasons, were his own. Honestly tended help is the best help, after all.

I extended my arm slowly. He raised his hoof and blinked in surprise when I gripped him 'round his foreleg. There was a Strength, there, and a Firmness that had nothing to do with muscle tone.

“Welcome aboard, Doctor.”

“I'm pleased to be here, Starry-Eyes. Pleased indeed!”

We began walking toward the enigmatic TARDIS.

“Who've you been talking to, anyway? Have you been through the Portal and been hobnobbing with Celestia or something?”

“Oh,” He said breezily. “Celestia confirmed the information afterwards. But the Pony who first told me was named Pinky, actually, Pinky Pie. A bit on the strange side, but blessed with extraordinary flashes of insight! Unfortunately, they don't often make sense until much later. She told me to cut you some slack, she was talking to The Fourth Wall when she said it, but that's Pinky! You learn to just roll with these things after a while. All part of the wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey nature of the Universe, you know!” He paused and looked thoughtful as we got to the doorway. Hmm... you'll just have to manage the door, I'm afraid.” He took another look at his watch absently.

I would have asked him to go into more detail about those last bits but I had that door to contend with. We’d been away from the others long enough already and I was curious about the layout inside. There were two Ponies and a Zebra in there and I couldn’t hear a thing coming out of that curiously dark portal.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t bend over far enough to make it through, the hatches on the old Hermes were actually a little shorter. The rub was that this door was a lot narrower, not being much wider than the Doctor himself. Now matter how I went in I was going to be inches wider than the doorframe allowed. In the end I bent my knees, leaned backwards, turned sideways and went in left leg first. As a weird combination of the Limbo and the Watusi it was a passable artistic success. As I was struggling to get my upper anatomy through, my blouse got bunched up, I looked back at the Doctor. He had a crumpled paper bag in one hoof. Tyllae was in the process of extracting her head, something bright yellow that I could tell was loaded with sugar even at this distance clenched in her teeth as he looked on genially. With a twist, a wiggle, and an uncomfortable draft, I made it through.

The threshold was utterly dark and completely silent but the moment my head came through I was awash with light. I straightened up, tugging my blouse back down from my collarbone in a hurry. From where she stood, Xantippe had, I’m sure, gotten a fleeting eyeful as I made my entrance. The sight, no doubt, inspired her to new heights of rhyme.

“Just a little bit of a tight fit, was it?” She had the decency not to giggle, though she did smile!

“Do you get bonus points for putting three rhymes in a sentence or something?” I muttered, dropping the subject entirely as I took in the surroundings.

We stood in a hemispherical space two or three times the size of the Bridge. Like our Bridge the center of the space was sunken, though in the case of the TARDIS this area was taken up by a large, multisided console bristling with controls. At its core stood a glass or crystalline enclosure, more or less cylindrical in nature, within which floated three gleaming horseshoes with their open ends facing each other to enclose nothing between them. I couldn’t identify what they were made of. A subtle, prismatic hue seemed to flow over them in random waves changing their color endlessly. Drawn by this display, my hooves had already led me to the lower deck by the time my eyes swept the room.

The walls were tinted a bronze color, the light coming from hemispherical fixtures here and there high up on the arching walls. Bob was on the upper deck with Miss Doo, clustered around a trolley bearing a plate, of all things, muffins! He waved a half-eaten one at me when I looked his way.

“Blueberry.” He said with a full mouth. “Not bad, but Oy could show ‘em a thing or two!”

“I like muffins!” The grey Pegasus enthused. “They're my favorite thing ever!” She fluttered her wings in excitement, nearly knocking the tray off the trolley, and gave me the opportunity to ponder the seven bubbles that adorned her flank. She snatched a choice snack up in her forehooves and zigzagged her way through the air to the lower deck where I stood.

“Try one!” She offered it to me, both her eyes for once staying focused forward. “They're delicious! … Oops!”

I snatched the thing out of the air almost as quickly as she lost control of it, the speed of my reflexes making her backpedal through the air as she startled until one of her wings struck the console. The speed that she folded it in spoke of long and painful experience. She dropped to the deck with a thud, looking away in two different directions in embarrassment. “Sor-ree.”

Ok, I'll admit it. The cozy little confab outside aside, my first impulse was to flinch when she flew up in my face. If she hadn't dropped that muffin the hoof I'd already set in motion probably would have shoved her away forcibly. It was irrational and I'm not proud of the impulse, but I didn't want a Defective to touch me.

I wasn't above tickling a Ferengi behind the ears or even shaking hands with a hermaphroditic Archosaur, but they were Aliens and, presumably normal as they reckon it. But to have an individual of ones own species... more or less... running around with a suboptimal mind was an embarrassment. Thousands of my ancestors gave their lives to produce perfect biological offspring. Ones free of defects and disabilities that would be assets to their culture all the days of their lives. On Equestris fetuses that show abnormality are aborted as a matter of course. As mentioned before, I came within an ace of suffering the same fate. I don't gripe about it. If I'd been aborted Mom and Daddy would have tried again or availed themselves of the ova in the Banks. I made the cut, no matter how closely and That Was That, enough said. It was part of the Order the Augments wished to establish for themselves and others by way of example. The idea that a defective individual would be allowed to live strikes us... struck me... as a blasphemy.

Ours is a hard culture, as the winners of the Eugenics Wars reckon it, but we had a hard time of it from the word go. An Equestrin has no intrinsic right to life. To us, it's a privilege and not a gift. Those who are worthy of it get it, those who aren't don't, move on to the next candidate! Our standards are just higher than others. Prior to this Mission mine was the standard Equestrin position, the Universe doesn't care a cracked geode about an individual. It's the Whole that counts and if the individual doesn't... or can't... contribute to the Whole then they aren't needed.

Then came the Federation, our cousins several generations removed, who not only survived the Wars, but thrived. That they found us and not the other way around is a continuing source of embarrassment to the old diehards of the Colony. With all their mish-mashed, addled genes, their unrestricted and unmonitored breeding, and their maudlin sympathies they beat us back to the Stars. It was a hard pill to swallow and there was a lot of lingering ill-feeling on both sides. If it hadn't been for the Romulan War and the common threat they represented things might have come out much differently...

But both sides came out the stronger for it, didn't we? For all the careful planning and optimizing on the part of the Eugenicists of old here we all were. Well, we have a saying back Home. 'It takes all kinds of minerals to make granite’. Without all of them you no longer have granite, just piles of minerals

The Federation was right and we of Equestris are still coming to terms with that... some of us more slowly than others. The memory of Feldspar's ugly prejudice gave me a twinge. In my self-righteousness I was ashamed of her. How was I behaving better?

“You, uh, don't have to eat it if you don't want to...” The little gray Pegasus with the funny eye snapped me out of my introspection. “I'll understand.” Both eyes managed to get a fix on me for a second and looking into them... I had no doubt that she did. I felt lower than the underside of the crust of a neutron star. The Mare in my Head turned her coat so fast she should have caught fire before she started hitting her shame circuits!

“No harm done.” I said gently. “Thank you. It does look tasty at that.” I delicately peeled the baking cup off the treat and popped the whole thing into my mouth. For the record, I did it without a moments regret and I didn't gag!

It was tasty! I chewed it down enough that I could talk.

“Don't mind him, Miss Doo. Bob's our chief cook and I think he's just a little jealous!” I swallowed. “Think you can spare another one of those? I've got a bigger stomach than most!”

She brightened at once. “I'm glad you like them. They're my specialty!” She fluttered into the air again, beaming.

“Oy heard that!” Bob pitched another my way with an underhoof lob. “Oy'm not jealous, Oy just have my own recipe is all!”

“I'd like to try some. I never get tired of muffins!” She giggled and her eye did its Thing again. “And you all can call me Ditzy, its my name. Ditzy-Doo.”

“Better to be a Ditz than a Derp, eh?” Bob chuckled as he trotted downstairs with a muffin, no doubt, intended for Xantippe. He stopped suddenly. “Wot'd Oy say?”

For Ditzy had dropped to the deck again, giving Bob a stricken look.

“For the sake of future reference...” The Doctor came trotting in. “We don't use that name in here or anywhere within my earshot... and I have excellent hearing, mind you!” He put a comforting hoof around Ditzy's shoulder and treated the Chief to a severe look. The Mare in my Head kicked herself in the backside after she called up the historical data she could.

“Bob.... she's from our past. Way in our historical past!”

He did a double-take. “Get owt! You're sayin' she's the original Derp? G'wan!”

“Hel-lo!” The Doctor said, peevishly. “I just said...”

“It's ok, Doctor.” Ditzy wrapped her forelegs around the Doctor and nuzzled him, rather to the prissy Stallions' discomfort! She dismounted and turned to look toward Bob, blinking tears from her eyes. “Ponies... some Ponies... used to call me that name. They made fun of me because... because of my eye. And because I can't fly right all the time. And because I’m clumsy.” She paused, looking down for just a moment before raising her head bravely.

“That’s why I went with the Doctor when asked me to come with him. He helps people from all over the Universe for no other reason than it’s right. He’s the noblest Pony I know… and he asked me to help him. Me!” She sniffed and looked at the Doctor adoringly. “Back Home I’m a joke and Ponies make fun of me. But here, with the Doctor, I’m a lot more than just a mailmare; I make a big difference and we keep everypony safe… even if they don’t know it.”

“It’s perfectly true!” The Doctor nodded. “There are hundreds of worlds, thousands of billions of people scattered through the cosmos who sing her praises each and every day for what she’s done. She’s a heroine, my Miss Doo.” He gave her a prim, proper nuzzle to her ear.

“Because you gave me a chance!” She tucked her head under his chin while the Mare in my head just went ‘D’awww!’ I spun her chair around and told her to mind her own business!

“Rubbish!” The Doctor said. “I don’t give chances, I just don’t stop you from being you. Better they sing for you than for me, anyway.”

“I’m only a heroine to my Little Muffin.” She essayed a tiny, tender smile mostly to herself.

“She has a child.” The Doctor put in. “A Unicorn filly, back in Ponyville, a most adorable little thing, too!” He gave the Pegasus a restrained nuzzle, looking into her eyes.

“And I thought this Stallion was your Muffin!” Xantippe stepped up and smiled at the pair. She looked at the startled expressions on our faces. “What, is it not plain to you the affection between these two? It is plain to me that it’s there for all to see!"

“Ditzy!” The Doctor adjusted his tie nervously and snuck a glance at his watch. “Not now! Ahem…!” He cleared his throat. “As I was saying, So, Captain, what do you think of the TARDIS?”

I took in our surroundings and gave the Doctor a significant glance. “It’s smaller on the outside than it is on the inside. Neat trick, that!”

He looked at me like I’d just spit on the floor! “What?”

“I said that it’s smaller on the outside than it is on the inside. Not surprising, once you think about ‘Time and Relative Dimensions’ and all that.” I said matter-of-factly, then, as the Doctor gave me an irritated look. “What’s wrong?”

“Everypony else always say that it’s bigger on the inside than the outside.” The poor buck sounded almost hurt. “… I’ve rather come to think of it as a tradition.” He smiled sheepishly. “Well, that’s just an indication of how your mind works, isn’t it?”

“I do not wish to appear dense, but I do not see the difference.” Xantippe frowned to herself.

“The differences, Madame, are what make all of us uniquely unique!” The Doctor bounded from Ditzy’s side and almost seemed to dance around the central console. It was all old hat to her, it seemed. She smiled a patient, fond smile as she watched him caper about, throwing a switch here, cranking a crank there until he’d completely circled the thing. “And that uniqueness is very much worth preserving, isn’t it?” He declared brightly, coming to rest by a display that incorporated an honest-to-Luna old-style CRT screen on a mounting attached to the central console.

I noted at that point that the console was festooned with a bewildering display of archaic devices, everything from the aforementioned cranks to levers, knife switches from the days of Tailsla and Ponison, even a few wooden handled pull chains suspended from high up on the ceiling! I peered closer at what I took at first to be an archaic alphanumeric keyboard. In fact it turned out to be the chassis of a very old-style typewriter. The kind with the type set on little arms instead of a ball. Weird! All of this stuff sat cheek-by-jowl with more-or-less conventional touch pads, buttons, and photoelectric switches of varying styles all tacked onto and almost encrusting the bronze-finish material that lay underneath. The TARDIS hadn’t seen regular maintenance in a long, long time indeed!

“Ah! Captain, it would seem your crew is trying to reach you.” The Doctor nodded to his CRT which bore the image of the comm panel in the Cargo Bay. He hoofed a switch and the Kirk’s voice came in from hidden speakers.

“-tain Starry-Eyes! Respond please. What is your status?”

Tyllae appeared, the Doctor’s paper sack clutched in her forehooves and her cheeks bulging as she chewed furiously. Flitting up, she swung her bottom around and thumped the comm button. Swallowing quickly she turned about to face the speaker/microphone.

“Hi-hiii!” She caroled. “Starry went inside to talk with Dokker but Tyllae is here, yep, yep, yep!”

I could imagine Kirk blinking! “Tyllae? I need to speak with the Captain, could you put her on? It’s important!”

“Tyllae go get! Back inna jussa little bit, Mister Kirky-Kirk!” She disappeared so quickly she might have teleported. The Doctor’s equipment had no problem following her, though. The viewpoint reset instantly to a view of the TARDIS doors. The little Few did an aerial about-face and bucked the doors three times just as the Doctor threw a switch. We all heard the ‘Bap-bap-bap’! He pulled a lever with a big red knob on it and the exterior doors opened.

Tyllae zipped right into the threshold, keeping scrupulously in the exact center, and called out. “Star-ree! Mister Kirky-Kirk wanna talk ‘bout something important!”

“Can you patch me in from here or do I have to go outside again?” I asked the Doctor quickly. He nodded, frowning absently as he reached for and flipped a couple of toggle switches.”

“Go ahead, Captain.” He said quietly then began scrutinizing some of his displays, calling up information on his screen. I could see it was date and time information rendered into Earth reckoning. He shot an embarrassed glance at his watch as I began speaking.

“Go ahead, Lieutenant!”

“Captain! Long-range sensors are picking up another ship on an intercept course at Time Warp Seven. ETA is about ten minutes. There was no prior sensor contact. Captain, that ship just teleported in!”

“Oh dear.” The Doctor said in a small voice. I shot him a glance as I continued.

“Can you identify the ship?”

“Hull configuration matches that of the Switchblade, Captain, though the energy readings we’re getting are showing extensive Arcane augmentation! We’re at a loss to account for that.” He added grimly.

“Signal Yellow alert. Raise shields and bring our weapons on-line! Stand by for a moment, Lieutenant!”

“Aye-aye, Ma’am! All decks Yellow Alert! Weapons crews to your stations!” Through the doorway I could hear the klaxon begin to hoot as I fixed the Doctor with a look.

“Doctor…?”

The brown Stallion in his archaic clothes fidgeted.

“Yes… I seem to have made the tiniest error in my arrival time. Really, though! This ‘stardate’ system would fuddle a Cyberpony! I mean, really now! How many hours are there in a ‘stardate’ anyway?” He checked his watch against the readout on the screen guiltily. “Captain… may I bother you for the time?”

“It’s Stardate One-Zero-One-Three point One-Three, about twenty-one hundred fifteen hours.” I said slowly, my eyes boring into his. The Doctor winced.

“Ah.” He cleared his throat quietly. “Not twenty-hundred hours, then?” He checked watch and display again and did some math in his head. “… Didn’t carry the two. Still, given the overly-complicated nature of the whole ‘stardate’ thing, I wasn’t that far off, was I?”

“Doctor!”

He jumped. “You should be on the Bridge… about three minutes ago!”

I didn’t have the time to do it, but I gave him a three-second look that would have made a Denebian Slime Devil cry for its mommy!

“Lieutenant! Signal Red Alert. All hooves to battlestations!” I gestured him to kill the connection as the Red Alert sounded through the open doorway. “Doctor, can this thing…” I waved a hoof at my surroundings. “Fight?”

Chapter Forty Seven- Battlestations!

CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

BATTLESTATIONS!

The Doctor shook his head quickly. “The TARDIS doesn't mount offensive weaponry. We'll be more help to you in your Power Room! Miss Doo!” He turned and gestured urgently with one hoof.

“On it, Doctor!” There was nothing soft in the expression of the gray Pegasus as she leapt into the air to open a panel behind one of the light fixtures. She shrugged into a black harness upon which twin saddlebags were hung, each one bulging with Luna knows what! With a single flap and a wiggle she settled them neatly behind her wings. I don't know what kind of effort it cost her, but both her eyes were steady and forward under her determined brows.

The Doctor whirled and began working his eclectic controls. On the old-fashioned display a schematic of the Hermes flashed onto the screen. He studied it intently for one entire second.

“Right! Three decks down and to the rear of the Ship. Lift station just down the hall! We'll do what we can, Captain! Come, Miss Doo, allons-y!” With no further preamble they he scrambled for the door, the tails of his coat flapping. I had to dodge as Ditzy zoomed after him.

“Keep the shields up and the power steady!” I bellowed to them with enough lungpower to give Luna pause! I swept an arm to Xantippe and Bob. “Come one!”

I let them get to the door before me. I went through headfirst this time, twisting my body and kicking off with one hoof. Yeah, I didn't get through.

Daddy, when I hit puberty, once made a not-unkind comment about trying to put fifty pounds of ore in a five pound sack in regards to the way I was filling out my clothing. The comment came back to me as I squeezed through the TARDIS door. I realized that I'd overestimated the amount of room I had as I felt the doorframe scraped along my chest. I turned sideways as I stuck my head through and tried to stand as straight as I could, trying to bring my hips in and my chest back. A Yoga artist might have made it... but we don't do Yoga on Equestris! I grounded out on both fronts. Wriggling, I got the doorframe into my cleavage, ignoring the discomfort of nearly scraping a choice bit of anatomy off in the process. I choose expediency over comfort and heaved myself through by brute force. Even Equestrin flesh is softer than wood and I would fit if I just gritted my teeth and squeezed through!

It hurt and I felt as well as heard something rip as I powered through the opening. I examined the damage as I sprinted for the comm. The shirt collar had ripped. Oh, well, at least I wasn't as exposed as I was on Equestris. I wondered what they made these things out of these days! The old jumpsuits wouldn't have ripped like that!

Tyllae flitted up into my face straightaway, still clutching that ridiculous bag!

“Tyllae! Find Sunny and get to Sickbay!”

“Ok take jelly-babies, too?” She pulled the bag tighter to her while the Mare in my head facehoofed!

I bit my tongue to avoid saying something I would regret and she wouldn't understand. “Oh for the love of....” I willed myself to be calm. “Yes, go ahead. But hurry!”

“Kay-kayyy!” She trilled and pifed away, bag and all! Faeries!

The shipwide intercom blared just as I hit the button with my fist. “Captain to the Bridge! Captain to the Bridge! All decks prepare to repel boarders!” The Hermes swayed as the impulse engines powered up, the combat maneuvering just within the abilities of the inertial dampening system to keep pace.

“Bridge! Status report!”

I lost part of the reply as the Hermes took a hit from the Klingon disruptors!

“-eleported right on top of us!” Kirk didn't shout, though he did raise his otherwise cool and collected voice over the din. “Klingon transporters are powered up. They're so close their shields are interfering with ours. We've got multiple beam-ins and point-blank weapons fire! It's a slug-fest up here! … Belay those torpedoes! At this range we'll both be toast!” The ship shuddered again.

What's the range?” I felt myself slipping into the familiar time-dilation of Fighting Mode as the universe seemed to slow around me. A preternatural chill swept over me as I paradoxically relaxed and tensed up at the same time.

“Three hundred seventy-five yards!”

THAT registered even through the Augmentation! “Get above and behind them, over their Engineering section! Their disruptors won't bear on us there! What about the balephasers?” I barked.

“The only good thing about being this close…” I could just see Kirk's grim smile in my head. “Is that we're mauling them....” The Hermes rocked and shuddered. “But they have more secondary weapons!”

“Do what you can to break off and run for it! I'm on my way, Starry-Eyes, out!” I don't know what I could do up there Kirk couldn't, but my place was on the Bridge, damnit!

I charged toward the Turbolift just as my ears caught the sound of familiar voices and pounding hooves from that way.

“Gangway!” Bob shouted. “Wot are these guys?”

“I'd swear they're Diamond Dogs!” The Doctor said, not sounding winded or very much upset.

“Wotsa bleeding Diamond Dog, an' why're they wearing Klingon kit?” Bob wondered as he skidded around the corner in front of me, Xantippe in tow. Beyond them I could hear claws sprinting toward us.

I flattened myself against the wall as best I could as the little group swarmed around the corner. Ditzy wasn't with them!

“The TARDIS!” The Doctor cried out. “Get to the TARDIS! We'll be safe in there!” He brought up the rear, casting anxious glances up the corridors in all directions before hurrying by.

Bob dug a heel in and screeched to a halt as he passed me. “Three of 'em, Boss! Big blokes, too! Toight formation, they got no guns! Just bleeding big claws on their hands!”

“Where's Ditzy?”

“They split us up!” The Doctor spoke quickly. “Transmat or something! They appeared right behind us! I ducked and made it back to others but Ditzy...” He sighed. “Flew off in the wrong direction!”

he claws were getting close! “We'll be trapped in here!” I said.

“We'll be safe in the TARDIS.” The Doctor insisted. “We can regroup and come up with a plan...”

“I'm not interested in being safe, Doc! These clowns are running around on my Ship and I'm damned if I'm cowering down here! The rest of you follow him, I have to get to the Bridge!”

The Doctor was about to protest, but they were almost on us. I could hear their panting breath.

“Go!” I shoved the Stallion in the chest, bouncing his bottom off the far wall as they rounded the corner.

They were big, not quite as big as me but having huge upper torsos clad in what looked like steel chestplates adorned with silvered sashes like the ones Kyr and this First Officer wore. Round steel caps were jammed tight on their heads, very nearly hiding their eyes. They had short, floppy brown ears, pugged muzzles with wet, black noses, and heavy jowls. Their bare lower halves had ridiculously short legs with clawed feet that were bare but they had leather cesti on their forepaws with hoof-long steel claws on them. They stank like, well, dogs!

I doubled my hooves and clubbed the leader alongside his jaw, hoping to break his neck but only succeeding in shattering his jaw and knocking him into the mutt behind him. They weren't as big as me but they were almost as massive. All my momentum spent, I reached out and grabbed the third one right behind his steel claws and twisted my body one hundred and eighty degrees, trying to do the same to his arm. I would have dislocated any Pony... or Klingon... shoulder with that one. But these guys were fast on their paws! He made a creditable swipe at me with his free claws but his feet were already off the deck as I managed to flip him flat on his back. He landed with a sound like an avalanche in a scrap yard, all the breath whooshing out of his body. I made sure he never took another. I yanked up on the arm I held, pivoted back to face my original direction... and stomped as hard as I could on his exposed throat and sprang away as he flailed his arms, maiming himself as he clutched at his crushed larynx. I paid no heed or spared any pity to his wet retching sounds as Number Two threw Number One aside, swiping with one paw and punching with the other.

I danced back, feinting a grab at whatever claw he darted my way looking for a chance as he advanced slowly. Number One got up, bleeding from the mouth and snarling incoherently from his shattered maw and sprang for the Doctor!

I didn't hold out much hope for the Little Stallion. I hoped with all my heart he would take his own advice and make for his TARDIS at Warp Speed. Instead, though, he sprang to his hooves and did the Absolute Worst Thing He Could Have Done. He reared onto his hind legs! Very macho in a Stallion sort of way but not only was he less nimble on just two legs,he left his guts wide open for disembowelment! What he did next startled me so much I caught a cut from one of those claws!

Even though I didn't have the attention to spare to see what he did I couldn’t help but look. Somehow he dodged that first swipe by the combined grace of Luna and Celestia if nothing else.

“Hai-ta!!” He cried, as he spun inside that other claw, tucking his head up under his attacker's chin and jabbed his forehooves into the Dog's arms on either side! It yelped as it staggered, it's arms locked rigidly into position. The Doctor spun away and raised his hooves again, but it was only a feint. So help me, he hopped straight up in the air and fired off a forward kick with a hindleg!

“Satike!” He yelled as he connected with it's hip. The Diamond Dog fell flat on its mangled face, the Doctor helping it on its way with a forehoof strike to the back of its neck that apparently rendered it unconscious before it hit the deck!

That was the point when Number Two scored his one and only hit. I registered rather than felt it as the claws raked me from elbow to wrist. If I hadn't already been in the process of pulling that arm back I might have been far more seriously hurt. It must have surprised him when he caught me, for he hesitated for a fatal fraction of a second on his follow-through. My other hoof darted out and pasted the end of his nose with my fist, not elegant but undeniable effective! I snatched my hoof back as he clapped his paws to his nose and howled, albeit in a muffled fashion!

I caught a blur of blue out of the corner of my eye and danced back just as the Zebra Cavalry arrived. Xantippe slid in like a baseball runner making for the bag, all her weight concentrated on her outstretched hoof. With a start I recognized both the maneuver she very nearly took me down with while sparring and the fact that her skirt bunched up high on her hips to reveal her black, lace undies once again! After getting sliced once, though, I didn’t spare her more than a microsecond… though the Mare in my Head filed the image in her database with a cheery thumbs-up!

The blow snapped his ankle and it occurred to me that she only failed in practice because she didn’t want to do the same to me! I feinted to his face as he lurched against the wall, his previously unseen eyes bugging out in either anger or agony. I hoped I could keep him busy enough for her to get clear. If he decided to throw his life away just to get Xantippe there wasn’t a lot I could do about it. He could just fall down and pin her to the deck as his final act! Bob, though, had other plans.

He jumped forward and planted one hoof just short of Xantippe and delivered a spin kick to the side of the knee of the Dog’s opposite leg, blowing it out with a liquid pop! He wavered, teetering back and forth; flailing at the wall with his claws and trying with all his canine might to throw himself onto Xantippe!

But that Zebra was fast, far faster than I gave her credit for and I had to wonder if she’d been sandbagging me in practice. She got to her hooves in a graceful movement and snarled into her opponent’s face.

“Screw you!” She said with a nasty grin on her face as she flicked a blow with the heel of her hoof to his chestplate, toppling him backwards in a thrashing heap.

He swiped frantically at the air around his head, warding off an attack to his least damaged parts. I didn’t hesitate for an instant and stepped forward to deliver a kick to his fuzzy puppy jewels with everything I could put into my right leg! Contrary to what the slapstick comedy vids would have you believe such a blow… and I’d buried my foot up to the first metatarsal… is fatal, not funny. He didn’t live long enough to make a squeak. I jerked my boot free and it was over.

“A truly tasteless individual…” The Doctor said with a distasteful grimace. “Would no doubt make a comment about crushed nuts now being available with dessert tonight.” He straightened his tie and swept his eyes around our little group with a carefully straight face. “… Fortunately I am not such an individual.” I noticed he wasn’t even breathing hard, though Bob and Xantippe were panting with adrenaline. That was ok, I wasn’t either… and for probably similar reasons!

“Yeah.” Bob grunted. “That’d be roight insensitive. …Wish Oy thought to say it first, though!”

“I do not wish to be rude, but the two of you are truly crude!” Xantippe smoothed her outfit and treated the two stallions a reproachful look.

“There aren’t any rules in a fight to the death.” I remarked dryly. “Except to get it done as fast as possible by whatever means” I gave the bodies a once-over as I clamped my good hoof over my sliced wrist, the Augmentation already slowing the blood loss. “Speaking of means, Doc, what do you call that fighting style of yours?”

He looked at me questioningly, giving my wrist a significant glance. I shook my head and he flicked an eyebrow at me before answering.

“Venusian Aki-do.” He said as if that explained everything. “A non-lethal martial art I picked up long ago.” He surveyed the carnage for a moment. “Apparently not in fashion with Starfleet.”

“Hold on! You’re saying you learned it on a planet called Venusia? Never heard of it.” I eyed him skeptically.

“Your people call the planet ‘Diamel’ or Sol-II. In other times and other situations, my dear Captain, people do. Trust me in that.” He gave me a crooked smile with eyes that sparkled with Alien condescension.

“Uh-huh!” I held his eyes for a second before turning my attention to other matters. “Is anypony hurt?” A stray trickle dribbling into my palm made me amend that statement with a grimace. “… Anypony else, I mean!”

“I do not wish to poke fun, but it seems you are the only one.” Xantippe said delicately. “At the risk of spreading mutinous discourse, perhaps you need a refresher course!”

“I took one down and set you two up for this one. That’s one and a half for me and a quarter each for you and Bob so don’t sound so smug!” I prodded the Yoemare in the shoulder with one finger just hard enough to make her stagger but not hard enough to wipe the smirk off her muzzle.

“I took this chap all by myself, without killing him and without a scratch to be had!” The Doctor buffed a hoof on his shirt then admired it.

I was about to say something suitably acerbic, but Xantippe cut me off with a raised hoof.

“Wait a bit! It’s been a while since we last took a hit!”

We all listened intently to the sound of the Vectored Impulse Drive, our sublight propulsion, laboring.

“We musta did fer them...” Bob said doubtfully.

“Or we may have disengaged to go into Warp.” I said. As if on cue, the intercom blared to life.

“All decks rig for Time Warp Drive, emergency acceleration! All decks rig for Time Warp Drive, emergency acceleration!”

With no further preamble the Warp Drive kicked in, and the whole Ship gave a lurch as the Compensators barely did their jobs. The Hermes was in bad shape…

“We’re running!” I turned to Bob and Xantippe. “Tie this guy up, use those stupid sashes! If that won’t work…” We braced against the walls as Warp Two threshold was reached. Under emergency acceleration, with the damage we’d taken, the transitions were faster… and harder! The sound of the Warp Drive thrummed louder and louder. Xantippe looked around anxiously. “You’ll have to finish him off.” I cocked an eye at the Doctor. “We can’t risk his coming to and running around loose at a time like this!”

The Warp Three transition was worse than our usual at Warp Five and I envied the Doctor his extra legs as we rode it out.

“There’s rope in the TARDIS!” He dipped his muzzle into a pocket and came up with a brass key on a bead chain affixed to a… Luna help me… rabbit’s foot! He flipped it to Bob who fielded it neatly. “Use this key to get in. Ask the TARDIS where the rope is and she’ll show you!”

“Roight!” Bob clenched his fist around the key. “Where’s the terminal at?”

“Just talk, she’ll hear you!” The Doctor assured.

Warp Four came and the whites were showing around Xantippe’s eyes!

She swallowed and fixed her eyes on Bob. “I will remain on guard! Go fast and run hard! If he dares to stir, my wrath he will incur!”

Warp Five, our old bugaboo, began with an almost subsonic rumble as the engine strained to put us over the threshold. The otherwise smooth thrumming rose in pitch and began to oscillate ominously as the Hermes shuddered along its entire length!

“Crap! Hold on!” I bent my knees and got ready.

Xantippe clutched the amulet around her neck and dropped onto all threes. Bob crouched against a wall and the Doctor hunkered down and looked around anxiously.

“I suppose it’s too late for us to get to the TARDIS…?”

“No time! We’ll have to ride this out!” I barked.

“If this is to be my last deed,” Xantippe glared in the direction of Engineering. “I just want to say that I hate Warp Speed!”

The Hermes didn’t lurch, it bucked! The deck dropped a good six inches and the whole Ship slewed to one side, flinging us against the far wall as a catastrophic wrench imposed on us by our Warp Field shuddered the spaceframe! We heard the very bones of the ship creak and groan as the lights flickered off leaving only the permanently-enchanted glow-panels of the Emergency Lighting System going as the shaking receded and the sound of the Drive leveled off.

I shoved the corpse of Number Two away from me and got to my hooves, cussing as I collected a shallow cut from his steel claws in the process.

“Everypony ok?”

The Doctor hauled himself upright from where he’d ended up across the way from me, rubbing his forehead with one hoof.

“Owww…” He muttered, shooting me a dark look as if it were my fault!

Bob and Xantippe must have grabbed each other when they went airborne for they were twined together tighter than a ball of yarn just then. He raised his head cautiously, none too willing to loose his grip on the Zebra!

“Bleedin’ heck!” He said. “It’ll be mealpacks fer dinner tonoight. Foive to one all moy pans’re all over the bleedin’ deck!”

Xantippe wriggled free and knelt on the deck with her knees tightly shut. She couldn’t bring herself to meet our eyes. “I have only one lament, I seem to have suffered an accident!” She muttered.

Bob guffawed and gave her rump a slap! “Well them bloomers’re not much more a strainer, aren’t they? More pretty than practical! No worries! They’ll dry out roight quick!”

The mortified Zebra punched him lightly in the chest as he helped her up by way of an admonition.

I smothered a grin. “I think we all need clean underwear after that one!”

“Speak for yourself!” The Doctor quipped, waggling his hindquarters in emphasis. He looked about as the lighting came back. “Did the lights come on or is that just the sparks in my eyes?”

I looked around. “Engineering is still with us, though we’ve stopped accelerating. Warp Five seems to be about all we can manage.”

“Five times the speed of light?” The Doctor, I thought to myself, indulges his curiosity at the damndest times!

I shook my head. “Geometric progression. We’re doing one hundred and twenty-five times ‘c’. Let’s hope its enough!”

“Fancy that! With antimatter, no less! What’s life without a little risk, eh?” He beamed and shook his head. “How quaint!”

“What’s your power source then?” I eyed him sourly.

“Black Hole at the End of the Universe! Bet I get better mileage than you lot!”

I gave him my best Vulcan Eyebrow for a moment. “Fine, be that way! Let’s go, Engineering’s gonna need all the help it can get! You two…” I turned to the others. “Get squared away here and report to your battlestations!”

“Roight!”

“Aye-aye.”

“Come on, Doc!”

I sprinted down the corridor, my ears pricked for sounds of more Diamond Dogs and the Doctor frankly galloping to keep up. With him being so relatively short it wasn’t much of a squeeze to get us both into the Turbolift. I twisted the handle.

“Engineering.” The car accepted the command and sped off horizontally, then down, and then horizontally again. The Doctor, for once, kept silent. His eyes followed the progression of lights in the Turbolift visual progress window distractedly; no doubt his mind was on his Companion.

I took advantage of the silence to tab the Comm Panel.

“Bridge!”

Kirk came on almost at once. I could hear the subdued chaos going on around him, though none of it showed up in his voice.

“Captain! We’ve disengaged the Klingon for the moment and are making a run for it. We estimate seven minutes before they can begin to catch us. We’ve got damage to the Warp Drive and the port side balephaser bank. Partial decompression on Decks Six and Three. Minor damage to Spaceframe. At least four Boarding Parties still onboard. Sickbay reporting casualties, no numbers yet.” I heard him draw a breath before continuing, doubting what he was about to pass on. “And Engineering reports there’s a naked, cross-eyed, four-legged Pegasus tearing around down there trying to tell them what to do. I’m, ah, trying to corroborate that.”

The Doctor closed his eyes and sighed in relief. I gave him a pat on the shoulder as I replied.

“She’s on our side, Lieutenant. She’s a friend of Tyllae’s Doctor and I sent her along to do what she can to beef up our defenses. Advise Engineering to cooperate with her but Warp Drive is to be their primary concern. I’m taking the Doctor down there to assist then I’ll be right up.” I took a relieving breath of my own. “Sounds like you’re on top of things, Gorge. My compliments to you and the Crew!”

“I might be on top, but it’s one hairy vantage point! We’ll keep things together till you get here! I’ll pass along the Good Word and keep your chair warm for you!”

“Make it bigger and I’ll make you Commodore! Starry-Eyes, out!” Kirk, I had to admit, had turned out to be a real gem. Starfleet needed more Ponies like him on its Bridges. I was impressed that he didn’t waste time asking banal questions about my health when it was the Ship that really mattered. He should have been an Equestrin!

I shooed the Doctor out and pointed him toward Engineering. He galloped off, coat tails flailing, with a determined look on his face. I rode the lift up to Deck Three where I had to stop because of damage to the tube.

My ears popped as the door opened and the air was cold! The bulkhead to my right was shut and there was the stink of smoke and ozone in the thinned air. Damage Control parties in airsuits (Think of them as lightweight Environment Suits with inflatable hoods rather than helmets!) with the hoods thrown back trotted back and forth, antigrav sleds piled with equipment in tow. Crewponies in varying states of dress aided them, ignoring me scrupulously. That was ok by me, they had more important things to do than observe military protocol! I stiffened suddenly at the implication. Evacuations? Things were worse than I hoped!

I snagged the leader of a Damage Control Party as they double-timed by. I eyed his cutie-patch, an old-style optical storage medium, and his name popped into my head.

“Ensign Laser Disk! How bad is it?” He stopped, which I hoped was a good sign that things weren’t quite so bad, and waved his crew on.

“Hit in Battery Room Three.” He nodded toward the sealed bulkhead. “It penetrated into the corridor and we lost pressurization. Six crew trapped in their cabins on minimal life support. They’ll be ok, we’ll get things patched up in no time. Environmental Systems took some damage. We’re down to seventy percent air pressure but at least we’re not losing any more. No casualties except burns and bruises as far as I know.” He smiled a grim smile. “They got one of their own Boarding Parties in the process. If we had more enemies like them we’d have fewer enemies like them!”

“They must be taking Romulan lessons!” I agreed. “Keep up the good work. I’ve got to get to the Bridge. Can you bypass the safeties on the nearest ladder up?”

“Can do, Ma’am!” He sprinted down the corridor and climbed two rungs at a time until he could access the hatch that slid across the opening to the next deck when the pressure dropped. I waited while he inputted the code that would allow it to open. After a bit there was light at the top of the ladder and a breeze blew down hard enough to stir the ends of my mane. Laser Disk slid down using just his hands as brakes to land lightly and step aside.

“I’ll lock it down again after you go, Ma’am!”

“Thanks, Laser! My compliments and get those Ponies out of there, ok?”

“Can do, Ma’am!”

The ladder access was actually a little bit wider than the TARDIS door, enough to keep from doing any more damage to my uniform anyway. As soon as I got my shoulders through I planted my hooves on the deck and pulled myself up in a single heave and ran for the Turbolift. I didn’t get three steps when I caught the telltale sounds of bare claws hurrying from the left side of the T-intersection in front of the Lift doors! They sounded too close to risk peeking around the corner; I might not pull back all my head if one of those mutts had good reflexes!

I slid to a halt just shy of the intersection and dropped into a crouch. From the sound of it there were just two of them. My plan was to hit the lead one hard enough to put him out of the way long enough for me to deal with the other. One-on-one I figured I had a decent enough chance as long as I could buy enough time to keep it that way.

They must have heard me pounding along, or maybe they were on the run from Security and were wary. The first one put on a burst of speed and sprinted along the far wall out of my reach, Augment reflexes or no Augment reflexes. His beady eyes locked on me and he, well, barked to his comrade!

“’Round da corner! Just one!” They spoke Standard!

He kept his steel-clawed arms close to his body as he crabbed along just out of reach, ready to rip me to shreds if I came a fraction of an inch too close as he maneuvered to get behind me. To keep my attention on him he darted a claw at me, trying to tempt me to close with him.

His buddy came in low and fast around the corner. He kept his arms close as he surged at me like a runaway ore cart. As big as these guys were, I doubted I could stop him with a single kick even if I wanted to risk laying my leg open to those claws!

Even worse, these guys had their teamwork down. As soon as the second one got in range of me the other stepped in, one claw going for my eyes and the other coming up to give me an impromptu hysterectomy!

I didn’t jump backwards, I couldn’t afford to risk getting caught in mid-air. Rather, I danced back with one hoof on the deck at all times until I retreated three quick steps to take up position in the middle of the corridor. If nothing else it kept both of them more-or-less in front of me.

There was no way they could flank me, whichever one tried it first would be at least crippled if I had anything to say about it! But if they both rushed me at once one of them would have a good chance of landing a killing blow. How to keep them uncoordinated…?

I feinted toward them half a step and they fell back in near-unison. Damn! Impasse!

Neither one took their eyes off me as they darted in and out, gauging my reach and reflexes and keeping me from going on the offensive.

Ok, discretion is the better part of valor and all that. Fifteen yards behind me was a bulkhead. The corridor going through it would narrow and they’d only be able to get through one at a time. I could make Starry’s Last Stand there. If they were that gung-ho about taking me one of them would have to decide to sacrifice himself. As long as they didn’t get any reinforcement from behind me I hoped I could psych them out enough to decide I wasn’t worth it. I wondered how far I could push my altered time sense… Damn dogs!

The Mare in my Head repeated the thought and had a sudden epiphany; of course she wouldn’t call it a ‘crazy idea’! She ran the concept across her displays for me. I let her know exactly what I thought about it and she sweetly wanted to know what my plan was!

The dogs saw the bulkhead coming up as I cautiously retreated. They both snuck a look at each other and I nearly had the one on my left in that brief instant. They closed up at once and pressed me closer. It would only be a matter of a few seconds before they’d try me, they weren’t about to let me get into a defensible position. Dogs, faithful in duty, keen of smell, acute of hearing…

No idea is crazy unless you try it! I backpedaled quickly and drew a deep breath. I jammed my fingers in my mouth and blew for all I was worth!

I’ve often been accused of not knowing my own strength. It was nice to know my lungs were on par with the rest of me! Both ears were ringing and I swear my teeth were rattling when I was through! As bad as it was for me, they had the worst of it. Both dogs wilted where they stood, eyes bugging and mouths opening in silent howls. The one on the right brought his trembling arms in to cover his ears while his companion went straight to his knees! The Mare in my Head… wearing ear protection, the little twerp... crowed in delight!

To my accelerated senses, they barely moved. The one who covered his ears got the heel of my palm under his chin, knocking his head straight back so hard I felt his neck snap through my hoof! I whirled and aimed a kick low down on the other below his chestplate. Like I said, these guys were good! Through his pain, his paws were already were moving to slash me. But the pain slowed his just enough. The kick went home and the arms stopped moving. I grabbed his closest arm and broke it over my leg like a plastic strut. Without wasting a motion, I grabbed his head and twisted it around as far as I could, I felt things pop and part. I kicked him in the back and he went face down on the deck. I danced back and watched them both twitch uncontrollably. Urine and feces stained the air as they finally went still. My time sense went back to normal as a wave of fatigue swept over me, quickly quelled.

I didn't spare them a moment of pity or regret. After all, I'm sure they wouldn't. I turned and raced to the Turbolift.
What with the Red Alert, I needed to use a password to ride up to the final deck. When the doors parted I was met by one of Rocky's Security Ponies, a Mare named Lock-Heart, who had a balephaser pistol aimed at the center of my mass. I noticed a look of relief on her rather plain face as she recognized me, she must have heard about the Diamond Dogs.

“Glad to see you're safe, Captain!” She nodded, eyeing the blood and the tattered uniform.

“Not as glad as I am!” Kirk spun the Command Chair around one hundred-eighty degrees and stood up. The stallion looked tense but hardly overwhelmed. “Ready to have a seat, Captain?” He gave me a coltish grin and held the chair for me. He, too, took in my rather worse-for-the-wear state of my clothing but mentioned nothing.

Throwing myself into the seat was quite frankly out of the question given that my hips were, ahem, just a little bit wider than the seat. I flicked my tail through the hole quickly, put my knees together and wedged myself in with a firm thrust that garnered a creak of protest from the swivel mechanism in the base of the chair. It was a long trip but I finally made it!

“Status, Mr. Kirk! How did we manage to get away and where are the Klingons now?” My eyes roamed the Bridge as I spun the protesting chair. Jerry’s number two, an electric blue and curly red stallion named Maglev, was intent on his board. His fingers flew as distributed what power the Hermes could still generate, routing it to where it needed to go while riding shotgun on the alarming number of alarms on his displays.
Communications was doing a brisk business at the hooves of the brown and cream stallion, Code, as he coordinated Damage Control and Security throughout the Ship with a padd in his lap and a stylus tucked behind his ear. Subdued chatter from multiple sources poured from his board, live reports from the various partied involved.

The newly-appointed Second Watch Science Officer, the coal-black and stippled silver-and-black Mare named Milky Way was bent over her Sensors Display keeping close tabs on our pursuer, no doubt.
Helm and Navigation were busy, the short pink Mare with the blue-and-yellow swirled mane named True North recalibrating her Tactical Scanner via intercom with the balephaser crews while High Jump, the mint-green and jade stallion at Navigation constantly updated the Hermes course with every fluctuation of our Warp Drive.

“We got on top of them,” Kirk said as I completed my turn. “Just like you said, their disruptors couldn’t get at us… but the rest of their arsenal could. For such a small ship that thing is bristling with weapons! Short-range non-magical phasers or maybe some sort of point defense systems. Makes you wonder what… or who… they’re used to fighting to be mounting that kind of weapons array! Anyhow, at that range we couldn’t use the photon torpedoes; we’d be in the fireball when they went off. The problem was that they were mauling us with all those guns. Our pseudo-balephasers were hitting them hard but for every hit we scored they were scoring five of their own! We needed to hit them hard without cooking ourselves in the process and we had to do it fast before we lost too many vital systems. A torpedo was just the thing… and we had to get creative to use it!”

“Don’t keep me in suspense, Lieutenant! How did you manage it?” I was well and truly curious. A photon torpedo has a yield in excess fifty megatons; it’s basically a warp-propelled antimatter bomb. Three hundred and fifty yards was in the vaporization radius of anything short of neutronium possessing less than protoplanetary mass!

Kirk smiled deprecatingly. “We disabled the propulsion system on the torpedo and kicked it out of the launcher using just the air pressure in the launcher. We physically pointed the Hermes at the Klingon and shot the thing out at the speed of a champagne cork! We figured seven seconds to impact. At emergency acceleration we’d go into Warp in just under four seconds…”

“So by the time the torpedo hit we were already making four or five times the speed of light, outrunning the explosion!” I finished, giving him an approving look. “Very neat, Gorge!”

“Well we were lucky we still had Warp capability by then! If they’d been a little more on the ball in their aiming it would have been a different story.” He nodded toward the Science station. “Ensign Way and I have been comparing notes. I don’t think that’s a Klingon crew over there, not any more! I see you’ve run into one of their boarding parties…”

I nodded, displaying my arm. “Two of them, well, maybe one and two-thirds anyway! Diamond Dogs from Earth, but they’re extinct like Dragons and Manticores!”

“The last Diamond Dog died over ninety-eight years ago in an isolated environment after the Eugenics Wars.” We turned as Ensign Milky Way spoke, absently pushing her luxurious mane to one side and fixing us with her pale, almost silver eyes. “Victims of the same sort of genetic and virological weapons that were deployed against all non-equine sentients by the, ah…”

“You can say, ‘Augments’, Ensign. My people left Earth because of those people for precisely that sort of thinking.” I said, yet again damning the memory of Khan! “So how is it that they’re showing up on a Klingon ship? They were dead and gone by the time they made contact with us.”

“I think their appearance goes hoof in hoof with the Magic that permeates that ship. As far as we know, Magic is a purely Equestrian phenomenon. No Alien species we’ve encountered have exhibited any trace of it.” She continued. “Therefore, this Magic has a Terrestrial origin…”

“Discord.” I said flatly. “Why am I not surprised?”

“You’d think that, with all the Arcane megawattage at his disposal that he’d just blast us out of the sky and have done with it!” Kirk put in. “Why bother with all these… theatrics?”

“Because he’s fruitier than a nut-cake!” I growled. “Nopony at home, toys-in-the-attic, too much LDS at Buckley insane!” I stopped to unclench the fist I didn’t realize I’d made. I forced myself to calm down. “It’s been the one thing going in our favor so far. He's obsessed with what he perceives as revenge and he wants to do it his way and it keeps him from doing what's expedient, like blowing us out of space without an effort.” I shrugged, trying to simply write his off as a typical non-Optimal by way of some trivial source of personal revenge on my part. “He knew of Diamond Dogs from back in the day so he staffed that ship with them. What would you care to bet that that ship is some sort of magical construct?”

“Not all of it!” Milky Way put in. “Sensors show that the forward section, the one we couldn't absolutely confirm as destroyed, is original construction. Everything aft of that is new... and Arcanely enhanced with power equivalent to a ship three times our size.” She added grimly.

I nodded, making a face while the Mare in my Head threw darts at a picture of Discord. “... They survived the torpedo then, didn't they?”

“Yes.” She confirmed. “They got under way about three minutes ago and are accelerating on an intercept course. They'll catch us in about five minutes unless we can get creative again.”

“We're at Warp Five point one-two-five, fluctuating plus or minus five points.” Kirk supplied. “How good is this Doctor guy and his Pegasus? And what's with the four legs?”

“They're more than we had before, that's all I can truly say.” Was all I could bring myself to say. “His manner suggests that he's supremely confident in his ability to Save The Day. We'll just have to cross our fingers and hope he's just not blowing smoke up our-”

“Power levels increasing!” Maglev called out. “Committing to Warp Drive!”

I thumped the all-call on the arm of my chair. “All decks rig for continued acceleration!” A heartbeat later I nodded to Helm. “Give her all you've got!”

“Aye-aye, Ma'am!” True North acknowledged and the Warp
Drive thrummed louder. “Warp Five point two... three...six...nine...”

Kirk braced himself on the back of my chair while I put faith in my tightly-wedged status and waited...

The Warp Six transition was hard, but not on a par with the earlier ones! The Hermes strained at her traces and soldiered on.

“Warp Six! Six point three...point six...point nine...Seven!”

The ship gave a little skip and the sound of the Drive faltered ever-so-slightly before resuming. I noticed Maglev staring at his readouts, swallowing dryly.

“Seven point three...” True North continued as we held out collective breath. “Point six...point eight... point nine....”

Warp Eight happened only after a prolonged shuddering strain like an old-style aircraft pushing through the sound barrier.

“Eight point one...point two...point three....” She paused as the Warp Drive howled and the whole ship shivered. “...Warp Eight point three eight one five and holding firm!” No longer accelerating, the Warp Drive subsided into the background. We all took a breath as a beeping came from the Communications Console.

Code screwed and earpiece in and listened. “Engineering calling for the Captain!” He announced, grinning. “I think it's that Doctor guy!”

“Put it through, Code.” I said, permitting myself the luxury of sitting back in my too-tight seat.

“Hello? Helooooo...? I say, anypony home? Did the Captain make it all right?”

“Right here, Doctor! I take it that was your hoofiwork?”

“Oh, well we helped. A nudge there, a tweak there! I know a few shortcuts you lot won't pick up on for until the next generation or so! ...What?” He spoke to someone off to the side. “No, no! It's quite all right, it's supposed to make that noise! Ignore the smell! It's all within the limits I assure you... oh, dear! Back in just a second, Captain!” I heard him dash away and a peculiar buzzing trill ensued. In the meantime, Jerry came online.

“Captain? Starry...?” I heard him swallow. “You've got to see this! The dilithium crystals are regenerating! They did something to the Arcane enhancement and they aren't degrading under maximum power! Their matrix is re-initializing during use! … I don't know whether to buy him a drink or knock one back myself! If we were in prime shape we'd be outrunning subspace radio!”

“Status of the Klingon ship!” I swiveled my chair toward Milky Way who was already bent over her readout.

“Warp Six point nine and accelerating slowly!” She said then frowned. “I don't see how they're doing it. Base on what we've observed earlier our torpedo devastated a lot of their Engineering section...” She trailed off, stiffening suddenly. She looked up and straight at me. “I'm reading massive damage... but it's being repaired even as we speak. Their ship is healing itself! I can't describe it any other way!”

“Magically.” I stated with no little disgust in my voice. “Klingons magically repairing their Magically-enhanced ship.” I paused to close my eyes and rub the bridge of my muzzle, taking pains to keep the frustration out of my voice. It wasn't the time to indulge in either frustration or anger. I gathered up my emotions and dumped them in the lap of the Mare in my Head and told her to hold on to them for a while. She gave me a sour look that I ignored.

My voice and expression were neutral. “Can they catch up with us?”

“Unknown, Captain.” Milky Way tossed back her really quite lovely mane and looked at me honestly. “We don't know their capabilities... yet. I need more data.” She took a breath and steeled herself. “All I can give you is my opinion. And my opinion is, based on what I've seen, yes. They're being supplied with whatever capability they need. That can only be happening if Discord is onboard. That's my evaluation.”

I nodded. “I concur, Ensign. Time to intercept?”

“Based on current data, less than six minutes.”

“I heard that!” The Doctor spoke up. “Captain I can't explain how Discord would be able to do that. He has absolutely no knowledge of the Science involved.” He paused and continued again before I could speak. “That's it, of course! He's been able to gain some sort of insight. Access to knowledge he didn't have before! Power he never had before! Well this can't be good, can it?”

Part of me was pettily pleased that there were some things even the Doctor didn't know! I didn't indulge myself, however.

“He's made a thing he calls the Magic Prism.” I said hurriedly. “A crystal made up of, in part, of the very life force of countless beings. He told us that it allows him to see into and move among other realities. Its raw power is inestimable and he treats it like a tool, some damn sort of Magic Wand that makes him all-powerful. He's only limited by what he can think up. But he's gone crazy, Doctor! He's fixated on destroying us personally; otherwise we'd just go pfft!”

“Pfft is not good! We must avoid pfft at all costs!” The Doctor said in a rush. “Right! The trouble is that I've never run across Discord with this kind of power before. It's never happened before, it can't have happened before! He's mucking about with things not even he can control. He's trying to change the unalterable flow of History! Time can be rewritten... but not by him! Hmm... It would help if I could examine this Prism. That's it, then!”

“Slow down, Doctor!” I said calmly. “I think I'm one step ahead of you.”

“... Are you now? Really?” He said, intently.

“We can't outrun or outgun him.” I said. “The only thing left is to get him to talk... and he dearly loves to talk.” 'The bastard!' I added silently.

“His ego has always been his weak point.” The Doctor agreed. I could imagine him smiling. “Quite full of himself, that one!” I heard him cough discreetly into his hoof. “Not that I have that problem, you know!” In my mind's eye I could see the twinkle in his own.

I was glad ours was an audio-only connection! “I'll need you up here, Doctor. If he knows you it may shake him up enough to do something that will give us an opportunity.”

“My thoughts exactly, my Good Captain! Miss Doo can handle things here. I'll just nip up to the Control Room then, won't be a tick!”

“You'll never find the 'Control Room', Doctor. I'm on the Bridge.” I said gently. “Wait one minute before you set out. I want to pin down the rest of the Boarding Parties.”

“Of course! Of course!” He lied. I just knew he'd bolt off as soon as I broke the connection!

“Starry-Eyes out!”

“Toodle-loo!”

I signaled to Code to end the communication, then. “I need you to find out what decks the Dogs are on. Use the intercoms to flood the decks with ultrasonics. It'll stun them or slow them down at least. Get me Little Rock.”

He raised the Security Chief while he set up my request. In a moment Rocky spoke up from the comm.

“Little Rock here!”

“Rocky! What's your status?”

“We got Hostiles in the Primary Hull, decks Four, Seven, Eight, and Nine. Bulkheads are sealed and they are isolated. They have no heavy weapons so we're lucky in that regard. As long as we can hear them coming we can stun them at a distance. We haven't suffered any casualties since the initial beam-in. We'll be mopping them up in no time. It’s just a matter of coming at them so they'll have to close with us... just not too close! These clowns are fast on their bow-legged feet!”

“Sit tight, Rocky. I've got a countermeasure that works against them.”

“What's that? Rolled-up newspapers? I'd rather not get that close!”

“Sonics! Think about it, Rocky. They're dogs!”

“... Son of a, uh, bitch!” I heard him grunt a laugh. “How'd you find out?”

“They had me in a corner. I stuck my fingers in my mouth and whistled as loud as I could!” I said smugly. “They couldn't handle it!”

“Three cheers for your healthy pair!” He chuckled.

“...What? You better be talking fingers, buddy-buck!”

“Of lungs! Sheesh, already! Get your mind out of the gutter!”

So much for overcoming body-consciousness. “I should permanently reassign you to Chief Dog-Catcher!” I muttered. “Starry-Eyes out.” I tabbed off the comm and looked expectantly at Kirk who’d just wiped the smirk off his face… if not his eyes. I looked around at the rest of the Bridge Crew as they carefully studied their boards and sighed.

“All right! You all get five seconds of mirth at the Captain’s expense starting… now! Get it out of your systems, everypony!” I egged them on with my hooves and waited patiently while grins broke out all around. At least they were grinning with me rather than at me!

“Just for the record,” Kirk said innocently. “I’ve never had anything but the most professional admiration for all your parts!”

“You’re a source of inspiration and envy to all the female crew, Captain.” Milky Way rolled her eyes diplomatically.

“A good Captain is supposed to be bigger than life, right?” Code snickered as the less bold crew contented themselves with quiet smiles. Well, as a tension breaker it was a big success!

I made a show of shaking my resignedly. “And to think I gave up being a Miner on Equestris for this! Ok, Gorge, I’d like to buy us some time. Your trick with the torpedo got me thinking. Can we launch some at zero speed and scatter them behind us with proximity fuses? Anything to slow that ship down!”

“We can do one better than that!” Kirk became all business again. “There’ve been discussions in Starfleet about using the cargo transporters to deploy photonic torpedoes as a sort of space mine. Nopony’s had to do it yet, this might be a chance to see if the idea works. We’d have more tactical flexibility placing them that way!”

“You just got yourself a job then!” I nodded and jerked a thumb at the Turbolift. “Make it happen. Coordinate with Helm scanners when you’re ready to drop ‘em!”

“Aye-aye, Ma’am!” Kirk flashed me a feral grin and made it to the lift in two steps!

“Activate Main Viewer. Show me the Klingon ship.” I swiveled forward and waited until the image sprang onto the screen.

I scrutinized the grayish, bat-winged ship that was growing larger and larger on the screen. It was true, the bulb-and-boom at the front of the ship was darker than the rest of the vessel. Aft of that, livid green stripes pulsed and slowly writhed within the hull! They were concentrated and glowed brightest in the twin warp nacelles and high on the back of the ship were, presumably, our torpedo detonated. Looking at it, I couldn't help but think that the whole thing had become... infected somehow. Tainted by Chaos and crewed by Celestia-knows-what now?

“Ensign Milky Way.” I asked quietly, not taking my eyes off the screen. “Can you get me a life-form reading on the Switchblade?”

“Captain?” I heard her frown.

“Scan for life-forms on that ship. I'm checking out an ugly suspicion here. Indulge me.”

“Their shields are up, Captain. All I'll be able to tell is that there are life-forms aboard, I won't be able to-”

“I know what the Sensors can do, Ensign. I was Science Officer a couple of weeks ago.” I kicked the chair around far enough to look at her with one eye. “Scan the K1 and K2 emissions from Life Sciences and let me know what you come up with.”

She was still Ensign enough not to argue with a superior officer. “Aye-aye, Ma'am! Kirlian Field and Arcane Life Energy bands. Scanning now...” She bent over the hood of her display and worked her Sensors with both hooves. I finished my turn, facing her way and idly contemplating the end of her two-toned tail as it brushed the deck. The Mare in my Head swept her gaze higher. She, for one, didn't have a problem with the new Starfleet mini-skirts! I gave her a jab and told her to keep her mind on business!

Milky Way froze for a moment then lifted her head away from the display to recalibrate her instruments. She ran the scans again while my blood ran cold.

When she finished she turned my way with eyes wide in disbelief. My eyes met hers immediately.

“How many?” I asked quietly.

“I...” She swallowed and tried again. “I shouldn't be able to read much of anything. The last time around, when we first tangled with them before Equestris, we scanned just under two hundred Klingons over there. After their shields went up all you can tell is that there were Klingons onboard. Now, though, their shielding can't cover it up! Their ship is radiating a Kirlian Field of its own... and there's the life-energy of a metropolis on that ship! They aren't even trying to hide it. Or maybe they can't! I just can't explain it!”

“The Prism.” I told her. “It's made from people... and other... things. All their life-energy distilled into its being. A billion souls, probably more. Discord can spare a few million and not miss them for a second.”

The Turbolift opened and there stood the Doctor with his mouth on the control handle. He caught my grim expression and trotted onto the Bridge without a word as I swiveled forward and stabbed a finger at the thing on the screen.

“That's not a ship any more. It's a creature, isn't it? And it’s hunting us!”

Chapter Forty Eight- The Weird of the Werewolf

CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

THE WEIRD OF THE WEREWOLF

“Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…” The Doctor said softly as he came to stand by my chair, his eyes scrutinizing the Main Viewer. “That… should not be possible by these ‘Klingons’, Captain. Or anyone else in this day and age and region of this Galaxy for that matter.”

“That thought had occurred to me.” I said dryly. I turned toward the Doctor and pointed to the thing on the screen with my eyes. “So you’ve seen something similar before. My question to you is, based on your experience; can we hope to fight it? Our Sensors confirm that it’s indeed alive with a life force equal to a few million souls, presumably separated from The Prism for this purpose.”

“’Millions’, did you say?” His eyes regarded the thing on the screen almost sympathetically.

“We can’t be more precise.” I confirmed. “But at least a million individuals died to make that thing.”

“Are you sure they’re dead?” He asked, giving me a significant look.

I made an effort not to blink. “I don’t see how they could not be! Discord as much as told us that he sacrificed whole populations to make the Prism. How could anything live through the process?”

The Doctor shut his eyes, though his head remained high. “I am not a Magician, I am a Scientist. To me, Magic is infinitely more frightening than Science. Scientific knowledge is what you make of it, there’s always that choice. Magic, on the other hoof, by its very nature is function of intent! The choice is pre-made, intensely personal and colored… or tainted… by the will and desires of the spell-caster.” He opened his eyes suddenly to look at me intently. “Good intent makes good magic, evil makes evil. The trouble is,” He mused. “…That evil is so much more expedient. Especially when you all you care about is the results!”

“You’re preaching to the choir here, Doctor!” I said. “I’m an Earth Pony and an Equestrin, to boot! I have as much use for magic as a starship has for screen doors. I put up with it, but I don’t understand its ins and outs. Give me Physics over Metaphysics any day!” I looked at him narrowly. “Are you saying that there’s a chance that the people who went into the Prism are still alive?’

“It makes more sense, doesn’t it?” The Doctor said distractedly, eyeing the ship slowly growing larger on the screen. “As I understand it, a dead thing has only so much inherent Magic to it. A finite quantity, if you will. An enchanted gem, once it is exhausted, is nothing more than a rock. A live thing has so much more. Once tapped, if you take a modicum of care it will make more again and again. He’d be much farther ahead in keeping his ‘batteries’ alive, wouldn’t he?” He looked at me with eyes that defied description.

“That’s… a ghastly thought, Doctor.” I considered the thing that was stalking us. “But there’s no way to tell, is there? For all we know that… thing… is little more than an animal. No more sentient than a plague bacterium.”

“Let’s hope you’re right, Captain. Let’s hope you’re right…” He eyed the Science Station. “May I?”

“Make it quick, Doctor. We’re running out of time!” I reminded him.

“Shouldn’t take a moment!” With that he trotted over to Milky Way’s station and reared up on his hindlegs, planting his forehooves on the edge of the console as his head dipped into his pocket to retrieve what I’d earlier taken for a rather clumsy stylus.

It was dull silver in color and asymmetrically studded with rectangular protrusions here and there along its length. The end he held in his teeth was plain but the end he pointed at the displays bore a convex blue lens or perhaps it a gem, I was too far away to tell. It was bracketed by three small protrusions evenly spaced around it. He propped his splayed elbows and reached with his forehooves to touch the thing purposefully with his hoof-tips. The blue end glowed and the thing emitted the trilling buzz that I recognized hearing over the intercom earlier. With his mouth, he waved it in a lazy figure-eight over the station. As I watched, the indicator lights flashed and changed pattern. He paused, peering intently, and hoofed a control here and there and repeated the process. When he was satisfied he reached up and turned the thing off, dipping his head to return it to his pocket. He dropped lightly back onto all fours and beckoned to Ensign Way with a forehoof.

“Just put that over your speaker, would you?”

Milky Way, clearly as bemused by all this as I was, gave me a questioning look. I nodded and she tabbed her comm panel.

At first, the Mare in my Head refused to believe it was anything more than static issuing from the speaker. It rose and fell, changing in pitch not unlike the radio-frequency noise from the depths of any gas giant world. Badlantis or Jupiter made similar noises, as did similar celestial bodies in a hundred other star systems. But it soon became apparent that there was a different quality to this sound. I can think of no better description of it than a veritable Choir of the Damned, innumerable voices crying out all frozen on a note, the very essence of pain and fear and madness and despair neverending. One note, a voice of preternatural timbre and raw primal power twined itself among the others, tormenting them as it was tormented with an eerie wail that set it horribly apart from the tortured multitude. The sound filled the Bridge and seemed, somehow, to begin seeping into our heads. Augment Control or not, in a few more moments I’m sure my mane would have been standing on its end. We Ponies blanched as we heard it, the Doctor looked grim as he reared up and hoofed the comm panel off.

“That,” He said as he resumed his footing. “Is the audio representation of the signals coming in over your Sensors, rather than floating indicators of signal strength. Something on the order of over five million, two hundred thousand combined… sources.” He made a bitter face as he continued in the silence that smothered the Bridge. “It’s an atrocity worthy of the Daleks!”

The Bridge crew exchanged stark glances. I was the first to break the silence.

“If we destroy that ship we’ll put them out of their misery, won’t we, Doctor?”

“I hope we can do better than that, Captain.” He said quietly. “We should try to save them. Don’t they deserve that chance?”

I cocked an eye at the looming image on the screen. “I don’t think they’re going to give us the chance, Doctor. We’ll have to fight, there’s just no other way.”

The Doctor moved not a muscle and only gazed at me a little sadly.

“In the Federation I knew Ponies would have moved Paradise and Earth to do such a thing. Granted, such altruism came about later in its history. Still… one would think the seeds of that noble, idealistic organization would have at least been planted by now.”

“Starfleet just fought the Romulan War.” I said a little stiffly. “It was a Hell of a fight and we’re still pulling ourselves back together! All our Captains and most of our Crews are War Veterans…”

“You’re not at war now, Captain.” He pointed out reasonably. “Maybe it’s time to start thinking outside of the old helmet, eh?”

I bit back an impulse to throw the Damn Civilian off my Bridge… but he did have a point. The Federation was founded on higher ideals. The very reason the Tellarites, Vulcans, and Andorians agreed to join in the first place was the fact that we held ourselves to a higher moral standard for the betterment of all … even when it was inconvenient or dangerous to do so! The Romulans hardened us and the tone in much of Starfleet these days was much more cynical than the halcyon days of Archer. I would even go so far as to say that we’d become jaded after our experiences with the Romulans and Klingons. It’s true that Starfleet is not, per se, a Military Organization… but there had been a tendency of late to rely on balephasers and torpedoes rather than diplomacy and giving the benefit of the doubt. The memory of Starbase One still burned in a lot of hearts and Harmony and Friendship had taken a back seat to Security and Prudence.

Concerns had been voiced in the Federation Council along these lines and, indeed, the criteria for joining Starfleet had been in the process of being updated ever since the War. Starfleet needed more than just numbers these days. A whole new class of class of future Officers and Crew were being sought for a new generation of ships. My old shipmates and I were among the last of the Old Guard. I was, you’ll pardon the expression, ‘starry-eyed’ enough to anticipate the changes yet… I was a product of my times, these ‘New Ponies’ the Media made such a fuss about were a thing I had trouble comprehending. When… how… did I come to feel so old fashioned all of a sudden?

Yeah, the Doctor’s words stung. I swiveled slowly to face him.

“All right, Doctor.” I said patiently. “Do you have an idea about how we can safely get those people separated from that ship? We have…” My eyes flicked to the chronometer. “About five minutes till they intercept us, if you have a plan now’s the time to implement it!”

“Well I’m just making this up as I go. Necessity is the mother of invention and all that!” The little brown stallion gave me a brief, winning grin before turning to Milky Way. “I was wondering if I could enlist your help. I’m not a magic-user by any definition of the term…”

“Said the Pony with the Time-Travelling Blue Box!” I muttered.

The Doctor rolled a fey eye at me and continued. “As I was saying, I understand that these Klingons do not use magic yet that ship is positively blazing with it now! I was wondering if you could do some sort of comparative scan with your own vessel. I need to know how their magic differs from yours. They simply can’t be experts in the craft in so short a time! There may be subtle aspects of magic they may be ignorant of. It may give us something to work with.”

Milky Way glanced over at me and I nodded. “Work with him, Ensign. He’s got a point… even if he isn’t a Unicorn!”

“That, Madame, was truly execrable!” He grinned as he said it, though.

“You’re only mad that I said it first!” I brought my chair to face the screen again. “Now get to work! I’m going to see what I can do to buy us some time. Code! Open hailing frequencies and get me the Klingon ship!”

“Aye-aye, Ma’am!” He worked his board a moment then, “On screen, Captain!”

I nodded and braced myself to come face to face with Discord yet again. I was surprised… and disturbed… when Captain Kyr’s face leered at me from the Main Viewer.

He was worse for the wear in more ways than I’d expected! The viewer angle was still low; all we could see was his upper torso. There was an even more pronounced, oily sheen to his hide and there was a scruffy patchiness to the portions I could see. His version of a mane was slicked back away from his forehead and I would have sworn his ears were even longer, more pointed, with bristling tips. He looked gaunter than before and his fangs were even more pronounced as his lips split open in a feral grin.

He wore the same uniform as before, but his gold sash had been replaced with a new one. This version was bare of medals and bore the device of what I could only describe as some weird, octopus-head motif. Tentacles of gold ran from it, forming a band that circled his torso diagonally. I had the uncomfortable impression that the thing was clutching him in its grasp, and the blank silver eyes glared from his chest.

His moustaches were even longer and they quivered as he assumed an expression of mock concern.

“Where is the old Pegasus? Too feeble to fight his ship?”

“Captain Caper is dead, Kyr.” I said flatly. “I’m in command now.”

“Ah! So you’ve killed him for his senile incompetence then. There may be hope for you Earthers yet!” His voice still retained the oily unctuousness I remembered. He smiled condescendingly at me as he sat back in his seat.

“Caper died as a result of combat with your Boarding Party, the one Kruze led.” I ground out.

The Klingon nodded approvingly as he eyed me searchingly. “Then he managed to die a Warrior’s Death after all. You’ll be in good company then when we destroy you. Take heart, female, your end will add to the glory of the Klingon Empire!”

“Bold talk, Kyr, but as we say on Equestris ‘Cider costs credits’! Get within spitting distance again and the Switchblade will need more than a facelift to take us out… as you’ve already seen! Now get off the line and let me talk to your boss, Discord! I don’t have time waste talking to his servants.”

The ‘servants’ crack must have a special significance among Klingons, for Kyr’s eyes blazed though his expression didn’t. Rather, he looked upon me pityingly and pursed his lips.

“Bold talk, indeed, from a mere female.” He cocked his head and appraised me in disgusting detail with his gaze. “I had thought to give you to my Marines. My old ones, that is! My new ones have no need of you, but I only give them real meat that is worthy of them. Rather than kill you, perhaps I might take you for myself along with the Alicorn and show the two of you the error of your misguided, soft, Earther ways. Equestrins are simply Earthers writ large, after all. You’re still soft, mewling Ponies underneath all that bluster.” He waved a hand dismissively. “We’ll see! In any event, the Switchblade is no more. Haven’t your feeble systems told you that, female? You are in the presence of a new ship now. Behold the…” The translation matrix paused for a moment before supplying the name. “Werewolf!”

He touched no control or even made a gesture yet the camera panned back to reveal a nightmare that would make Nightmare Moon turn away! In the dim, reddish light of the Klingon Bridge we all could see that Kyr was part of his throne-like chair now. His legs were gone, below his ribs he was a mass of swollen scarlet tentacles… roots… cables? I simply could not tell, but he was solidly connected to the deck by these pulsing, trembling extremities. The deck at what used to be his feet was an uneven mound, the plating overrun by finer and finer versions of the massive trunks that made up his lower body. Those that weren’t latched firmly into the floor quested blindly at the air like tiny rootlets covered in maggots. With a start, I suddenly realized that portions of that uneven mound were actually corpses twined about with uncounted ropes of the stuff that entered their bodies through every open orifice of their naked bodies. … Then one of the bodies opened an exposed eye that rolled up in its socket, staring at nothing except the nightmares within as the body gave a feeble, hopeless quiver.

I’m an Equestrin, bred to be strong and enduring to survive a harsh and unforgiving world. I’d survived the Romulan War and all the Equine suffering it caused. I’ve seen Delta-burned Ponies writhing as their very flesh sloughed away. I’ve seen Ponies, eviscerated, trying to futilely stuff their living guts back into their bodies in the aftermath battle with a foe we never set eyes upon. I’ve seen flash-burned corpses still at their posts after plasma fires fall to sifting ash when Damage Control opened their compartments. The sight of Captain Kyr, however, was a magnitude of horror beyond my worst imagining. I gripped the arms of my chair and forced my eyes up again to meet Kyr’s. Somepony, True North I think, gagged and retched dryly as the Klingon chuckled.

“Lord Discord is a good judge of character. He knows that the Empire is the most fit to rule the Galaxy and has graciously offered his assistance to bring about the downfall of your puling Federation.” He sneered; his lips curling back to expose his fangs. “My ship is the equal of any Federation Task Force! And it is only the first of many! I will take your ship; make no mistake about that, female! Those among your crew we do not take as prizes will be used like the spineless beasts of labor they are to make it a worthy vessel to maraud and plunder the shipping of the Federation and other lesser species. Other vessels will be blessed with Lord Discord’s Gift of Strength and they will pass that Gift to countless others until we overrun all the Empire’s deluded enemies and they are reduced to their proper rank as servants of the Warriors of the glorious Klingon Empire!” He all but howled the last, raising a victorious fist as his ‘sash’ twitched and wriggled independent of his body.

I like to think that I’m not easily intimidated… but I had to swallow nonetheless before I could reply.

“You’re a poor judge of Discord, Kyr, if you think that he gave you this… gift… out of the kindness of his heart! He doesn’t have one!” I strove to catch his mad eyes although I frankly shuddered at what I saw there. “What did he offer you, Kyr? The governorship of Earth? The Federation? The Klingon Homeworld? He’s the Living Embodiment of Pure Chaos, you cracked geode, think about it! What do you think the Empire will do when you bring your freakshow fleet to them? Welcome you with open arms?”

“I am a loyal Warrior of the Empire, Pony!” Kyr snarled. “Not a weak, spineless bureaucrat!” He spat that last word and glared at me. “The Empire will send overseers to administer the slaves your people will be. My fleet will turn outward to do glorious battle with the next enemies of the Empire until the Klingons reign supreme as is our right as the greatest Warriors!”

In that moment I finally found my Center. The desperation, disgust, and, yes, fear fell away and I looked at the once-Klingon with the perfect clarity and dispassion as the techniques my ancestors honed on distant Earth took hold. I took a cleansing breath and locked eyes with him.

“Those claims of rightful superiority have been made before, on Earth. My own ancestors genetically altered themselves to be Perfect Physical Specimens of Equine kind. We were stronger, healthier, clearer of thought and stronger of will than our cousins. The idea among us began that we alone were worthy of continuing our race, that we were the fittest, that we were the Destiny of Ponykind. One among us heeded that idea and launched a war of extermination that Earth is still recovering from. Not all of them listened. My direct forebears left Earth to pursue their path among the stars. The Earth was thrown into turmoil for a century. In the end they all lost, Khan, my ancestors, and the Earth itself. Nothing was gained for anypony except for the One whose whispered urgings began it all… your ‘Lord Discord’. It was all for his amusement, Kyr. Billions died while he laughed! He left the Earth long, long ago but he hasn’t changed. His game board is bigger now, that’s all. He set the Romulans on us, he arranged for the conflicts between your own people and mine. And now he’s playing you like a tin flute, manipulating you, Kyr, for his personal amusement. He has no regard for the Klingon Empire and will bring it down, setting world against world in endless conflict with no victory except for him. It’s what he does, Kyr! It’s all he ever does! Think, Kyr! Do you want to fight the battles of your Empire for your Empire or do you want to be the puppets of an insane demigod? For he is crazy, you know, crazier than a computer in a solar flare!” I laced my fingers in my lap and leaned forward in my chair. “Consider this, Kyr! Discord built a brand-new ship for you out of nothing but malice and magic. If he wanted to destroy the Federation why didn’t he make an entire armada so irresistible that he’d sweep all before him? Instead he souped-up just one ship, yours, and put it on our tail. With that kind of power at his disposal he could flick us like a flea but he got you to do his dirty work for him! Why would he do that, Kyr, except because the thought of you and me fighting to the death strikes him as funny? You’re just a toy to him! Have you seen the Prism yet? The thing that gives him all his power? You’ll be part of it in the end, we all will unless we stop him! We’ll all be the playthings of the Lord of Chaos.”

I flattered myself to think that some of what I hurried to say was getting through to him. He didn’t cut me off and it was just possible that for a fleeting instant I saw something like a shadow of doubt in his dark brown eyes. I pressed my case.
“We’re trying to stop him once and for all so that the fight between your peoples and mine will be an honest one, fought with our own hooves and minds for an honest victory without interference. What kind of idiocy is it to waste time fighting in a collapsing tunnel, Kyr? Let us pass… for all our sakes!”

Were I trying to reason with any other being but Kyr it might have worked. But the Taint of Chaos was upon him and I watched whatever reasoning he had left flee his eyes even as something like calmness soothed his expression. He became once again, the oily, smooth creature I first met.

“You are truly pathetic, you Earthers!” He shook his head, his thin moustaches whipping. “Instead of steeling yourselves to die like Warriors you seek to add a few more seconds to your worthless lives by talking!” He gave me a look that dripped mock-pity. “But the time for talking is gone, I’m afraid! When next we meet it will be aboard my ship… in the company of your pretty friend.” He leered into my face. “I do so look forward to it!”

“Wait Captain, ‘Kyr’, is it?” During my unproductive talk with the Klingon the Doctor and Milky Way had been working in quiet haste at the Sciences Station. Now the Stallion stepped forward and addressed the screen.

“She’s right, you know. You have the ability to stop this before it starts. You don’t have to do this. I urge you to reconsider for your sake and the sake of what is left of your crew. For the sake of your Empire, the Federation, and all the worlds caught between them I ask you; please do not do this!” He appealed to the Klingon abomination with all the sincerity his wide, blue eyes could muster.

Kyr kept the channel open just long enough to curl his lip. He ignored the Doctor entirely and turned his gaze to me.
“Earthers!” He sneered. “Even your livestock are cowards!”

The screen went reverted to its view of the one-time Switchblade and I slumped as far as my cramped seat would allow as I released myself from Augmented Control, shutting my eyes for just a moment and trying to rid my mind of the image of Captain Kyr and his nightmare Bridge.

“Um, two minutes and eleven seconds till intercept.” True North said in the silence that followed, peering hesitantly over her shoulder at me. I straightened up as I saw the fear… and trust… in those young eyes. There was no time to indulge in doubt or uncertainty. Caper’s crew… my crew… deserved better.

“Stand by to secure from Warp.” I told her, then directed my voice toward Engineering.

“Maglev! Prepare to divert Warp Power to shields and weapons systems. Leave me enough for a burst of Warp maneuvering. Warp One should be sufficient.” I gathered their eyes up with my own. “You all saw what’s on that ship. You heard what Kyr intends to do. We’re going to have to fight and fight hard! But if it goes against us I’m not going to allow anypony aboard this ship to go the way of Kyr’s crew. If he wants this ship so badly I’ll ram it down his throat at lightspeed! I don’t care if that ship is made of degenerate matter, thirty-seven thousand tons of mass at trans-relativistic velocity is enough to ruin anypony’s day!” I paused to smile grimly. “If it comes to that! He’s underestimated us twice already, let’s teach him his final lesson about tangling with Starfleet!”

I swung my chair around to face the Doctor who was still frowning at the screen.

“Doctor, if you and Milky Way have a plan I need to hear it and now. Otherwise it’s going to be one hell of a slug-fest!”

“‘Livestock’, indeed!” He said, affronted. “That’s a classic example of bipedal bias against quadrupeds! Never thought I’d see it directed against me, though. I didn’t choose this form, you know! It’s the one I ended up with when I came to this Universe! … Personally, I thought I cut quite the dashing figure if I do say so myself!” He paused and gave himself a once-over, craning his neck to examine himself from as many angles as possible. Though I didn’t dare show it, my heart leaped inside me. If he could be so frivolous at a time like that it could only mean that he had something up his four-legged sleeve!

I couldn’t manage a proper kick to his backside; the best I could do was to extend one leg and swing my chair enough to make contact smack in the middle of his Cutie-Mark!

“Spill it, Doc! What have you two cooked up?”

“Steady on!” He gave me an injured look that evoked no sympathy whatsoever, if the smirks from around the Bridge were any indication, that is! “It’s no wonder you Equestrins have a reputation for being so heavy-handed, er, hoofed!”

“Like we say on Equestris, ‘You can’t argue with results!’. I’ll apologize later… if we’re still around to do so. Now give!”

“Ahem!” The Doctor made a show of straightening his clothes and collecting his eclectic dignity before answering. “With the help of Miss Way, who understands the ins and outs of Magic far better than I ever will, I might add, I believe we can exploit a defect in the way the Klingons are making use of their new-found power source. With the aid of your Engineers we should be able to neutralize their ship and make free those souls trapped within it. Like most brilliant solutions it makes perfect sense in hindsight…”

“Work now, smug later!” I told him an instant before True North cried out.

“Captain! They’ve teleported!”

The Hermes gave an almighty heave as it rocked under the Klingon barrage…!

Chapter Forty Nine- Save the Day?

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

SAVE THE DAY?

I clung to my chair and tried not to think of the energies required to overcome our superluminal momentum and toss us around like that!

“Emergency deceleration! Put us back in Normal Space!” I called out and hung on as True collapsed our Warp Field as fast as safely possible. Federation Engineers long ago developed a process called the Positron Flywheel Effect that transferred a portion of a ships Warp momentum into a burst of subspace radiation, effectively allowing us to brake three times faster than comparable ships our size. The Hermes went from Time Warp Eight to point eight ‘c’ in two and one-thirds shuddering, whining seconds with all of us braced at our stations. Padds, styli, anything not secured went flying in the direction of our travel, in this case about forty degrees port and up from dead ahead, as the compensators howled their protest throughout the ship. I dug my heels into the deck, glad of my tight-fitting seat, and grabbed at the Doctor as he went by, airborne, with a look on his face that would have been hilarious under any other circumstances. I missed his hindleg and got a death-grip on his tail a hoofsbreadth away from his body and jerked him to a stop in his impromptu trip to the Engineering Station, wincing in sympathy as I felt the tiny bones crackling in my grip. I held him there for maybe half a second, his hooves flailing, before the ships systems re-asserted themselves and he dropped to the deck straining against my hold the very microsecond he made contact! I let him go and got back to business.
Kyr shouldn’t have been able to stop that quickly and should have overshot us by at least light-minutes in Normal Space, giving us precious time to prepare.

“Ensign Way!” I kept my voice to normal level with double urgency. “Full duotronic countermeasures! Helm! Evasive maneuvers! When he gets in range try to avoid his disruptors and target his secondary weapons. Security standby for boarding parties. Flood all decks with ultrasonics in preparation. How are we doing, Maglev?”

“Warp Power, Impulse Power intact, though shaky. Especially the Warp Power! Whatever those modifications were…” He glared reproachfully at the Doctor who jumped up to survey his board in three places, dodging around the Engineering Officer like he was a garden statue. “We’re on the edge of an overload to our grid. What are you looking for?” He demanded of the little Stallion.

The Doctor paused in the act of drawing his weird tool out of his pocket, the back half of his tail hanging oddly limp at a strange angle. I’d apparently broken his tail but he was too busy to notice it. “I need access to the electromagnetic collectors attached to your Stardrive! They’ll have to be synched to the Sensory Station for what we have planned. I’ll have to make certain adjustments to them to make this work. Is that them? Thanks ever so much!” Without further preamble, he hopped up again, shouldering Maglev to one side as he began poking at the controls for the magnetic scoop that funneled interstellar hydrogen into the ships Engineering section to get made into deuterium for use in the Time Warp Drive.

“I need to reconfigure the magnetic field this generates. We won’t need faster-than-light travel just now, anyway! Now we need to make a magnetic bottle!” He paused for just a moment, startled, before turning to look over his shoulder at his backside. “Also… my tail seems to be broken!” He shot me an accusatory glance. “You broke my tail!”

“I grabbed what I could to keep you from doing a face-plant into Engineering, Doc.” I said. “Considering where I was able to grab you, just be thankful it wasn’t anything else! Think about it!”

Code kept him from saying anything in reply.

“Sickbay on the line, Captain!”

I nodded to him, ignoring the Doctor’s indignant, injured look. “Put then through, Code.”

It was Sunny. “What the Bloody Blue Blazes ‘r ye on about up there?” She demanded. “Do ye no mind not shakin’ th’ place up so much? We’ve got patients doon here I dinna want t’ break more bones than necessary!”

“We had to hit the brakes, Sunny.” I told her, glad she sounded unhurt. “Better strap everypony in, we’re going to have a rough ride for a while. The Klingons are back and out for blood!”

“Oh, Bloody Hell!” She said after a second. “I’ll get out o’ yer hair, then. We’ve got eleven Ponies n’ a great, grumpy Tellarite all wi’ lacerations, punctures, n’ broken bones. They’ll be makin’ it, if things dinna get much worse. I’m also getting’ quite a collection o’ them slobberin’ dog-laddies goin’ on. I’m treatin’ ‘em fer balephaser stun n’ injuries after I trank th’ Hell out o’ ‘em! I’ll be sendin’ th’ lot doon t’ th’ bloody Brig as soon as Security can spare th’ ponypower!”

Given the nature of the Diamond Dogs I couldn’t help being pleasantly surprised. “We didn’t lose anypony?”

“It was no fer lack o’ tryin’ on their part!” Sunny said grimly. “Doctor Willowbark’s wee gift has been busy. We’ve needed it exactly three times t’ save our people from death. Luna made a shrewd guess as t’ what we’d need, t’would seem!”

I sent a brief, silent prayer of thanks and hoped it made it through the Portal. Still, over ten percent of the Crew were temporarily out of action, heavy casualties by anypony’s reckoning!

“I wish I could tell you that it’s over, Sunny. The truth is, though, that it may soon get worse… a lot worse!” I swallowed, wanting to tell her so much just then. “The Klingons mean to take this ship and the crew for their own purposes. I’ve talked to Kyr and… well; there are things a lot worse than death in store for us if he wins. I can’t let him do that. I won’t let him do that!” I said with dreadful urgency. “… Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Oh, no.” She said softly. I wanted so much to be holding her just then! I could imagine her looking out across Sickbay, at the injured Ponies she was trying so hard to save. I could just see the tears gathering at the corners of her lovely, lovely eyes… I love her and she followed me into the stars for this… because she loved me.

“Sunny…” I began, and then faltered. What else was there to say under the circumstances?

I heard her gather herself up and blessed her strong, loving heart. “I daresay it’ll no coom t’ that, not if ye have aught t’ say aboot it! N’ don’t let us count yon canny Doctor laddie out, either! From what I hear he’s a right proper whiz at all that technical claptrap. Tyllae thinks th’ world o’ him n’ that’s got t’ count for summat! Oh, crumbs! They’re a-bringin’ in yon Doctor’s wee Pegasus now! I’ve got t’ go! I love ye, Dear Heart! I Love You!” She broke the connection in a hurry and I paused before shutting down my comm. In all the adventure vids the Lovers get such meaningful Last Farewells, sometimes I really hated living in reality!

The Mare in my Head idly speculated what our chances were of ending up in the Equestria-Beyond-The-Stars. I ignored her and spun to face the Sciences Station.

“Where’s the Werewolf, Ensign?”

She was already bent over her readout. “… He overshot and is coming around for intercept again. Estimating five minuets until he gets back to us… unless he pulls that teleport trick again!”

“Let’s hope countermeasures can buy us some time!” I said. “What’s the plan you two came up with?”

Milky Way stayed glued to her viewer. “The Klingons are making full use of the raw magical power Discord’s supplying them with. Every Arcane erg of it is being funneled into maneuvering and weapons as far as I can tell. There’s so much power that their shields can’t keep me from reading it, like trying to hide a magnesite flare behind tissue paper! They’ve never used Magic before, though, they don’t understand how it works. Captain, they’re running with zero Arcane safeguards! …Klingon is teleporting!”

We all held our breaths and scanned our boards, waiting for his location…

“Werewolf is now three light-minutes away, bearing one seventy mark one seven, plus seventeen… and firing on empty space!” She called out triumphantly. I permitted myself the luxury of shutting my eyes for a moment in relief!

As I’m sure I mentioned sometime earlier, the thing that makes a Scout-class vessel dangerous is its supercharged duotronic suite. During the War our sensors were so powerful that we were able to electronically fool the Romulan ships by actively feeding them false information about our distance and heading. Their sensors couldn’t sort out the real signals from the false ones. We cold make ourselves appear as anything from a simple freighter to a cloud of ionized gas. Depending on the abilities of their sensor techs we’d be able to manufacture multiple false images on their screen, ghost ships indistinguishable from us by anything short of direct visual observation… and nopony steers their ships by looking out a windshield! Even a ship’s Main Viewer displays only what the sensors tell it. Kyr was chasing phantom ships that refused to take damage no matter how much firepower he poured into them!

“Take that, Kyr!” I smacked one hoof into the other allowing myself a feral smile! “We’re still in this fight, Ponies! Let’s hope they keep taking the bait! Ok, pretend I’m not an Engineer and I’m an Equestrin, Milky. What’s the significance of ‘zero Arcane safeguards’?”

She looked up from her viewer and smiled. “They have no Magical Shielding for their Arcane systems at all, Captain. No anti-Magic defenses, they’re relying solely on standard shields. Granted, they have shielding equivalent to a ship five times our size…”

“But Magic ignores standard shielding!” I finished for her and then frowned. “You mean any Unicorn grade-schooler could just trot in there and telekinetically tinker with their systems at will?” I blinked, not sure I could believe our luck.
“Or something could be apported in!” Milky Way gave me a significant look.

“The Good Lieutenant what’s-his-name has some torpedoes in one of your Transmat devices, I believe.” The Doctor added smugly. I swiveled to face him “But before we do that I propose that your Unicorns cast a dispel-magic spell into their ship. From what Miss Way tells me it should at the very least cut them off from the source of their power. At that point I propose to use your hydrogen-collecting ramscoop, suitably modified, to draw off the essence of those trapped souls onboard in what amounts to a magnetic bottle. They needn’t be killed, Captain. I’m certain I can use the TARDIS’s systems to return them to whenever and wherever they came from. I can at least give them release from what they’ve been put through.” He gave me a level look as he hopped down from Engineering. “The Klingons will be at your disposal in an unpowered hulk… to do with as you will.”

I eyed the little brown Stallion. “I can’t take them onboard, Doctor. They’re Klingons! There’s nowhere near enough room in the Brig to hold them all and Life Support wouldn’t be able to accommodate so many even in without our battle damage.” I chewed my lip for a moment. The Mare in my Head pointed out that the practical thing… the Equestrin thing to do… would be cut them loose to freeze, suffocate, starve, or blow them out of the stars. My eyes wandered to the younger Crew on the Bridge, these first graduates of a newer, more enlightened Starfleet. The processes of change had already been started with them. If the Doctor was correct these changes were meant to continue; making Starfleet into something more concerned with mere survival, something unlike those entities that surrounded it, something to be even more proud of in future days. It was up to me at this point to lead the way and show them that even we of the Old Guard were up to the new challenges. I noticed the Doctor scrutinizing me with his Alien eyes. Was he somehow privy to the thoughts in my head?

I nodded thoughtfully.

“Very well, Doctor. Can your TARDIS send them home as well, across these distances? The nearest Klingon world is hundreds of light-years away.”

The Doctor treated me to a private, knowing smile before lapsing into breezy confidence. “Time and Space, Captain, are the TARDIS’s specialty! Give me the proper coordinates and I’ll tuck them safe into their beds!”

“I wonder if we’d actually be doing them a favor.” I said. “From what I understand, the Empire doesn’t suffer failures gladly!”

“Now what do you actually know about the Klingons, Madame? What firsthand… firsthoof… experiences can you cite? The authorities who interrogate them will know that you showed mercy to a helpless foe and that knowledge will always be there, giving the Empire pause to reconsider the Federation. The Klingons have a sense of Honor, Good Captain Starry-Eyes! More martially-oriented to be sure, but the experience will stick with them. Future incidents will give more forward-thinking elements of their society reason to compromise with your own. I daresay that, in a future generation, peace might break out between the Federation and the Empire!”

I regarded him skeptically and tapped the Cutie-Patch on my chest. “And I thought I was ‘starry-eyed’, Doctor!”

“Well,” He crossed both sets of legs and leaned against the console. “There are stars and there are stars, Captain. Some shine more brightly than others is all!”

“Uh-huh.” I grunted before thumbing my comm panel. “I still wouldn’t give a corroded copper credit for their survival once they get home! Engineering! Jerry, are you there?”

“Right here, Starry!”

“We’ve got a new plan! I need all the Unicorns you can spare to cast a ‘Dispel Magic’ spell into the Klingon ship when I give the word!”

“Say what now?” So help me, I could hear him blink in surprise!

“It sounds loopy but Sensors show they’re not using any Arcane safeguards over there! We hit ‘em with that spell and, zap! There goes their power!”

“How sure are you about this, Starry? That sounds too… easy to be true!”

“It beats the ever-loving heck out of Plan B!”

“Which is…?”

“Plowing into them at Warp One! Which one would you rather try?”

“I love Plan A! Just don’t shake us up too much getting us close enough. Our own power is hanging by a thread down here. We’re on the edge of overload as it is!”

“I’ll do what I can. Keep our power stable as possible. Make Shields your priority; give me as much magical enhancement as you can until we need to switch over. Do we still have full Impulse Power?”

“So far. The Warp Drive’s taken a beating. Regenerating crystals or not, we’re leaking drive plasma. I’ve had to vent to space to keep from contaminating the lower Engineering decks!”

That was bad news! Sooner or later Kyr would notice that only one of his sensor ghosts was trailing radioactive plasma. All he would have to do was point an old-style Geiger counter in our direction to realize we were the real McCoy!

“How much Warp capability do we have left?”

“Warp Six for just a little while. I can give you Warp Five or lower for longer. If we push things could blow out part of Engineering and we’ll have to repair the hull as well, which will add hours or maybe days to the repairs!”

Well, damn! “Ok! Get your Ponies ready. We’ll hide from his sensors as long as we can. Do what you’re able!”

“Maybe we can pull some Unicorns from Sciences and Medical.” Jerry suggested. “You don’t have to be an Engineer to cast a piddling spell like that!”

“I’ll round up who I can and send them your way! We’ll send you coordinates when we’re ready. Bridge out!” I shut down the Engineering Comm and switched to Public Address.
“This is the Captain! All able Spellcasters report to Engineering and see Jerry-Rig for an emergency casting! Anypony who can cast Dispel Magic, report to Engineering at once! That is all!”

I swung to face the Science Station. “Status of the Klingon, Ensign?”

“Werewolf has ceased fire and has gone to active scanning.” She said, peering intently into her display. “He’s using an incredible amount of power! Sensors show that he’s intensely scanning random areas of space. I believe he’s checking out each and every false target before he makes up his mind which to attack.” She stiffened suddenly and I perked my ears!

“Werewolf has teleported! … Five light-minutes away, bearing three-one-seven mark two-seven, minus two-zero-nine. …One burst of fire. …He’s scanning again!” She tore herself away to look at me. “If he scans us with that kind of power he’ll pick us up for sure, Captain.”

I nodded. “He’ll get us by process of elimination sooner or later. Keep me apprised of his movements!” I turned back toward Engineering to where the Doctor had his mouth full, waving his weird device over Maglev’s board. The Engineer looked on with a suspicious frown.

“How much time do you need, Doctor?”

“I’m eddy en oo are, Cat’n!” He put the thing away in his pocket again so he could speak more clearly. “That is to say, I’m all set here! I was wondering, though…” He looked troubled. “Is there any way I can ring up your Infirmary from here? I believe I heard your people say that a Pegasus was brought in from the Power Room…”

I raised two fingers one at a time as I ticked off the points. “It’s called ‘Sickbay’ and ‘Engineering’, Doctor!” I politely ignored his rolling eyes. “And I have no idea what it is to ‘ring’ anything! Don’t worry! If Ditzy was badly hurt Sunny would be calling. She’s in the best protected part of the Ship. Besides, she has Tyllae to keep her company.” Then I added gently. “The Mare that I love is down there with her, but we have to worry about the whole Ship right now.”

He smiled softly. “That’s one thing we have in common then, isn’t it?” He shook himself briskly and looked over the part of Maglev’s board he’d commandeered and muttered. “Never thought I’d see the day when I became such a sentimental old fuddy-duddy!”

“You’re never too old to be in love, Doc! Stand by your systems!” I faced forward again and watched the Werewolf scenting Space for us. “Ok, Ponies! I don’t like that teleporting trick of theirs. The question to the floor is how can we circumvent it?”

“They can do it, but they’ve needed at least half a minute between jumps.” Milky Way put in. “Maybe it takes them that long to recharge.”

“They’re five light-minutes away…” The Doctor mused. “Why not kick in your hyperlight drive and dive in on them? You’ll be moving faster that his ability to see you coming!”

“They’ve got subspace sensors, uh, Doctor!” Maglev shook his head. “They’d detect our going into Warp the same way we can detect them. …And nopony’s called it ‘hyperlight drive’ for decades. We call it Time-Warp Drive or just Warp Drive for short.”

The Doctor fixed him with a narrowed eye and stomped a forehoof.

“Young fellow, I’ve seen more kinds of superluminal travel than you could shake a figurative stick at! Let’s not quibble over local nomenclature, shall we? Warp it, jump it, tie it in a knot, I assure you I’ve seen it all!” He shook himself again. “Harrumph! So it’s a matter of our maneuvering in such a way that they don’t see it coming until it’s too late. Does your ship’s electronic countermeasures extend into hyper, er, sub-space?” He flicked an eye toward Maglev, daring him to say something and looking exactly like some crotchety old fogey in the process!

“Yes they do, Doctor.” I said, diverting his attention and saving my Engineer. “In fact, that’s what this Ship was designed for. During the War we were a countermeasures platform and a darn good one, too! They fact that we’re here now is a testament to its abilities. We’ve been flooding all their channels with noise and spurious signals for some time now. So far they haven’t been able to get a lock on us. Eventually they’ll sort us out, unless we can come up with something clever in the next couple of minutes!” I caught his eye. “You’re about to propose we try to blind his subspace sensors, aren’t you? The only trouble is his power curve. He’s got so much power available to him that he can override our jamming channel by channel!”

“We don’t have to blind him permanently!” The Doctor said. “Just pop a flashbulb into his sub-space face!” He laid his ears back and regarded me dangerously. “… And don’t tell me they don’t have flashbulbs any more! You know what I mean!”

Honestly! I wasn’t going to a say a thing! His idea got me thinking. I whirled back to Milky Way.

“Can you identify what subspace channels the Werewolf is scanning?”

Down went her head to her viewer. A few seconds later it popped up again and she was smiling.

“He’s scanning the primary subspace bands, the minimum required to find a ship our size. He’s got more power but he’s spreading it out on between normal and subspace. If we drop all other countermeasures and hit him on those frequencies we’ll blank him for at least half a minute!”

“All right then!” I tapped my forefinger on the arm of my chair, thinking. “He’s had time to recharge his teleport spell by now! We’ll wait till his next jump, when he does, drop standard countermeasures and put all your power into jamming his subspace bands. We’ll go to Warp One point one at emergency acceleration. As soon as we’re there we emergency decelerate back to normal space right on top of his squirmy ass before he sees us maneuver. We hit him with the counterspell and the Doctor makes his move. Once we depower him we’ll give Kyr the chance to surrender. Whether he wants to or not, without shields he can’t do much to stop us from sending his crew back home anyway. Once we evacuate that ship we beam those torpedoes Kirk has set up onboard and we destroy that ship once and for all!” I thumped my fist on my knee. “That’s the plan! Anypony got any input?”

“What if Kyr self-destructs his ship?” Maglev spoke up. “He won’t want it falling into our hooves for Starfleet to back-engineer!”

I wondered just how much of that ship is still Klingon! I nodded to him. “At the first sign of anything along those lines, we blow it up. I’m sorry, Doctor,” I said as the little Stallion stirred. “But I can’t and won’t risk my ship or crew. You’ll just have to work fast!”

He subsided and nodded tersely. “I’ll have to get down to the TARDIS when I’m done here.” He gave Maglev a stern look. “Just keep the power levels steady while I’m gone!”

“Understood, Doctor.” I said for Maglev, who was giving our new ally a dubious look. I made a real effort to at least look relaxed in my chair as the seconds slipped by. To keep from drumming my fingers I tabbed the comm button again. “Lieutenant Kirk!”

“Aye-aye, Ma’am!”

“We’ve got a plan. There’s a fatal flaw in the Klingon’s magical power supply. We think we can sever them from their power source using a counterspell. We’re going to blind their sensors and maneuver close to deliver it. How many torpedoes do you have ready?”

“I’ve got four of them primed and on the pad, Captain. Just give me the word and the coordinates!”

“Good work, Kirk! Stand by!” I called up Engineering.

“Jerry! Can the Ship manage an emergency jump to and from Warp One point one? We’re going to blind the Klingon sensors and hit him with the counterspell before he sees up coming!”

“One point one? Piece of apple cake! I’ve got half a dozen volunteers from Medical and Sciences down here ready to cast their spells. I can spare four of my ponies so between our Departments we should have enough mystic megawattage for the job! We’re ready when you are!”

“We’re waiting on the Klingon to do another one of his teleports. We want to catch him while he’s recharging between jumps. Stand by on this channel, Jerry. True will patch you in to her tactical scanners so you’re people can see what they’re casting at!” While I said that I made hoof motions to the Helmspony to illustrate my request. I patched Kirk into the circuit as well and kept the lines open and resumed waiting.

The seconds dragged by as I listened to the comforting and familiar beeps and quaverings of the Bridge instruments. Ensign Way never stirred from her viewer, her body almost as tense as Maglevs as he anxiously surveyed the trembling displays on his board. True’s hooves hovered over her tactical controls and High Jumps never strayed far from his, his eyes flicking between the Navigational Display and the Main Viewer where the Werewolf crouched, snarling into space with its disruptors!

Milky Way spoke up before I had time to call back over my shoulder.

“Werewolf is firing disruptors, apparently at distant sensor images. One gets you five he’s waiting to see if there’s any reaction from the target’s shields! He’s cagey, that one!”

“More to him than just a pretty face!” I nodded, feeling keyed up and not a little optimistic. I forced my feelings back down and tabbed my comm panel one more time while the Doctor nosed around in his pockets and brought forth an object wrapped in crumpled white paper. Holding it in one hoof... I made a note to ask him just how he did that... he undid the paper with his mouth to reveal a somewhat worse-for-the-wear muffin, He took a bite, decapitating the treat and munched, looking for all the worlds like a tourist waiting in line at an amusement park for all his body language let on!

“Captain to Sickbay.”

Sunny replied almost at once while the Doctor perked his ears my way. “Aye, go ahead!”

“Sunny, we've got a plan in the works. We needed your Unicorns because the Klingons don't have any Arcane defenses for their new systems.”

“'N ye're preparin' t' show them th' error o' their ways, is it? Would I be breakin' Miltry Protocol t' ask wha' ye' ken our chances are?”

I couldn't help smiling. “Let's just say that confidence is high. We're waiting for him to teleport again so we can catch him while he recharges that spell.”

“I've got t' say I like this idea much better'n th' other one!”

“It's my current favorite, too! Say, Sunny...?”

“Aye?”

“I was just wondering how Ditzy is doing, you mentioned she was brought in.”

“Ye can tell yon Doctor laddie she's doin' just grand! Has a wee case o' a broken wing. When th' Ship took that lurch she launched herself into air, thinkin' t' be safe but th' bulkhead, wall, whatever, hit her. All in all she's in fine shape after bein' run over by a bloody Starship! We've got her taped up for a bit but she'll be fine except fer worryin' fer th' Doctor!”

“Tell her he's fine and she should meet him in the TARDIS after we make our play.”

“Sure n' I'll tell her. As long's she's careful she'll be fine.”

“... Maybe you should give her an escort just to be on the safe side.” I said delicately. “Long story, I'll tell you later.”

“Just make sure there is a later, then! Though I dinna ken what yer worried aboot...” There was a clatter beyond her as something fell. Tyllae laughed and a familiar voice said “Ooops! Sorry! I'm not sure what went wrong, I just wanted to move the tray.”

“Captain out!” I closed the connection and looked over to see the Doctor giving me a grateful look. He saluted me with his muffin and took another bite.

“Werewolf is teleporting!” Milky Way called out. I jerked my chair her way and strove to look calm and waited.

“New location is two light-minutes, twelve seconds away bearing thirty-eight mark one-one-seven, plus one-one-three! His heading is three-fifty-two, mark one, minus one-six!”

I tried to keep from sounding too eager, despite my pounding heart. “Is he firing on a false echo?”

Ensign Way shook her head in her viewer. “Negative. … He's coming about! He must have crossed our plasma trail!”

“Drop countermeasures, then hit him with everything we've got in the subspace bands!” I spun around and faced the Main Viewer as she worked her board. I could hear the soft buzz of feedback from her station as the Hermes blazed like a subspace supernova!

“Helm! Implement our maneuver! Emergency Warp to one point one, then emergency deceleration! Maneuver in close!” I bent my head to address my open comms. “Stand by for spellcast! Standby cargo transporters!”

We all hung on, except for the Doctor who splayed his hooves and braced himself, swallowing quickly. As the Warp Drive thrummed into life the Ship seemed to slew slightly to port then starboard. No sooner than acceleration started, it seemed, we braced as the Compensators mostly made up for the sudden stop. The Main Viewer blanked for a moment, then the Werewolf filled the screen in all its diseased malevolence as we shuddered into normal space.

We were coming in from above in the direction of what would be our number five shield, overtaking his from behind.

“Our speed is fifty-seven feet per second, relative, heading twenty-five mark one. Target bearing nine mark six, heading ninety-four mark seven. Range seven hundred, twenty-six yards and closing!” True North declared triumphantly! I couldn't blame her! She lined him up almost directly ahead of us as we appeared, good flying in anypony's Fleet!

“Good job, True! Spellcasters, go! All weapons stand by in case this doesn't work! Milky! Monitor Klingon shield and power status! Belay subspace countermeasures! Cross your fingers, everypony!” I hunched forward on the edge of my seat as far as my cramped quarters would allow while the Mare in my Head shook a hoof at her Main Viewer with a positively feral grin on her face!

We watched as the Werewolf began to turn, its disruptor banks gathering a baleful green glow as they powered up.

“Secondary weapons are locking on!” Milky warned. We'll be under their main guns in five seconds!”

“Turn with them, Helm! Keep us out of their forward firing arc! All available power to Shield reinforcement!” I gripped the arms of my chair and wrenched it around, trying to turn our Ship all by myself while a lump of cometary material settled in my stomach. It didn't work! Damn magic!

I glared at the screen. The Klingon seemed to cease moving as we matched turning speeds with him. That wouldn't last, though. In a few seconds Kyr would start evasive maneuvering and we'd be hard put trying to out guess him. Half a minute later he'd be able to teleport into position to deliver a killing blow. He had our radiation signature now and even our countermeasures would only buy us a little more time before the inevitable. With our shields up we couldn't deploy Kirk's torpedoes.

“Secondaries locked on and energizing!” Milky Way called out.

“Brace for it!” I ground out, swallowing a cold meteoric iron lump as I did so. “Helm, set course for center of Klingon's mass...” My voice trailed off while the Mare in my Head suddenly crowed!

We couldn't see his disruptors at our angle just then, but the livid green glare from what used to be his warp nacelles faded suddenly! The lurid lines of power flowing through the hull of the Werewolf flickered and grew dark! Was it just my imagination or did they writhe as they died out...?

A few feeble flickers of red sputtered along its hull as its secondary phasers did what they could. They might have been searchlights for the good they did!

“No appreciable damage to shields! Klingon is depowered!” Milky looked up from her viewer and gave a whoop! “We got him!”

“Belay that, True.” I said, quietly. “Doctor, go ahead.” I held myself erect in my seat, wondering how Caper coped with these situations. I was more than happy to follow his lead during the War, but it was worlds away from sitting there giving the orders! Frankly, for what I was prepared to do, I wanted to faint! The Mare in my Head called me a softie and I dug up a suggestion from Feldspar's lexicon by way of a reply that made her sniff in refined disgust.

The Doctor sprang up and worked Maglev's board. “Just stay with me, young fellow!” He murmured, intent on his task. “Despite myself I've learned a thing or two about Arcane Science since I came to this Universe! Oh, I'm no Twilight Sparkle, but I like to think that I'm able to come up with a real whizzer now and then! The thing to remember about Magic...” He paused and started making a series of lightning-quick adjustments to his controls. If he was pressed for time his voice betrayed nothing, keeping its soft, conversational tone as he worked. “Is that it can behave very much indeed like its electromagnetic and superluminal counterparts. Energy is energy is energy, I suppose! And it will always take the road of least resistance! Space is a notorious vacuum and, as such, keeps things tremendously well insulated from, well, other things. The net result of the spell your crewmates have cast was to render this particular bubble of space terribly, terribly non-conductive, if you follow my meaning. I need you to invert your magical shield reinforcement. That's is!” He beamed at Maglev approvingly. “Lower it straight down below zero and keep going oh, I don't know....” He laid a hoof across an indicator display and presented it to the bemused Ensign. “About that far. Yes, that'll do for starters! Good lad!” He warmed up to his subject and began making a show of playing his board like a piano, flourishing his hooves and bringing them down quickly and dramatically.

“What we're doing here is making an area around this ship very attractive to all that Arcane energy that's bouncing around that ship. It's got nowhere to go now, doesn't it, since we've made it such a poor conductor? The trick is to not let it come into physical contact with us. Oh, no! Wouldn't do at all! You see, poor old Werewolf has been possessed. Unlike good old electricity or magnetism, this particular Arcane energy has a malevolent purpose guiding it. Quite against all their wills, I'm sure, but still driven nonetheless! Hence the need for your magnetic ramscoop to create a magnetic bottle, suitability modified, to contain what is, in essence, Arcane Plasma. Once we have it stabilized... when you adjust the flux density there... See? It'll just follow the lines of Arcane force as it folds over on itself until it all zips up tight, sure as Bob's you Uncle!” He gave Maglev a companionable punch on the arm and gleefully pounced on a final control before hopping back down on the deck. He extended one foreleg, drew the other one back and bent his neck in a bow, his performance at an end... almost!
“Et viola, Madame la Capitenne!” He held that posture for just a moment before he hopped straight up suddenly, clearing the deck entirely and punching the air with one hoof in a burst of exuberance! “Who's the Pony? Eh? … Anypony?” He looked around expectantly, the grin fading from his face as the blush colored his muzzle. He shook himself and adjusted his bow tie self-consciously as the entire Bridge stared at him. “Oh, Dear. ...You have an open mike, don't you?” He muttered, deflated. “You'd think I'd learned my lesson about that the last time, wouldn't you? Ahem! Miss Way, what do your sensors tell you?”

Milky Way closed her mouth abruptly and ducked her head back to her scanners. “Minimal stored power readings, fading fast. K1 and K2 scans falling. Already down by fifty percent...” She looked up soberly. “The Werewolf is dying, Captain.”

“Well I wouldn't go that far!” The Doctor put in. “The life-energy it had was stolen. We're just transferring it to another form. Just like with non-metaphysic energy, eh? Nothing is ever truly destroyed! Once we have it safely stored the TARDIS will put it back where it came from, never fear!”

“Can you make out individual Klingon readings, Milky?” I asked. “There were nearly two hundred on board the last time.” I turned to watch the image of the quiet ship on the screen.

I heard the hesitation in her voice. “Yes... and no, Captain. I have half-a-dozen readings that are nearly Klingon. And there are broad stretches of the ship that have Klingon incorporated into it... somehow. I would say that the biologic mass is equivalent to perhaps two dozen individuals.” She sounded faintly sick as the implications of her statement sank in.

“Like Kyr?” I asked.

“More so, I'd say.” I could hear her steady her voice. “These are far less... centralized. My guess would be they've been, uh, cannibalized and used in control circuitry.”

“'For the Glory of the Empire', was it?” The Doctor said bitterly, looking at the ship with his alien eyes. Luna knows what memories he was comparing it to, I sure as Hell didn't... and I didn't want to!
“I must tell you about the Cyberponies one day...” He said darkly. He veiled his troubled blue eyes and looked to me.
“I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry. I wanted to save them, but I don't know how many of them I can put back when they've been reduced to... that!” He shot the ship on the screen a reproachful look, then. “Perhaps we should give Captain Kyr a call, he deserves the chance.”

I raised a forefinger at him. “One moment, Doctor.” I addressed my comm panel. “Lieutenant Kirk? Make ready your torpedoes. Space them out through the Werewolf. I want the memory of that ship blown out of space! Stand by to transport.”

“Aye-aye, Ma’am. Coordinates set and standing by.”

I caught the Doctor’s eye. “The way I figure it it’s the least I can do for …what’s left over there. I wouldn’t hold out much hope for Kyr’s being reasonable or rational.” I did what I could to soothe the frown on that enigmatic face with my words. “Five point two million will be saved, Doctor. Innocents, at that! That’s more than you can say about two dozen Klingons.”

“We are all born innocent, Captain!” Part of his mind was elsewhere… or elsewhen… when he looked at me with eyes that refused to divulge what was hidden behind them.

“People grow up and make their choices, Doctor. They have to live or die based on what they chose to do.” I said stolidly.

“There are many who have their choices made for them!” He snapped at me unexpectedly! I sat back, blinking as he went on. “Many more let others do it for them willingly because they feel that they can’t aren’t able to make them themselves. As if their ability to make the right choice is somehow inferior to those who are all too willing to do it for them. These are the ones I feel sorriest for… the ones who believed they weren’t capable of trying and would never get the chance!”

He caught himself and stopped suddenly. Wisely or not, I chose that moment to plunge in. “Like Ditzy, perhaps? Is she the symbol of some sort of Crusade to you?”

The Doctor was half my size and a quarter of my mass. No fancy martial art of his would give me pause. I did not judge him to be a Fighter except in the moral sense. He was an eccentric, eclectic, idealistic genius with a Time Machine who took an inordinate amount of pleasure in flaunting his knowledge at people less privileged. Fine, there were worse personality flaws. Let him carry on any way he wanted as long as he wasn’t a threat to me and mine.

But suddenly the Pony-shaped thing before me glared with ancient and bottomless eyes and I caught a mercifully brief glance of something profoundly tragic and old. Not old like immortals in the fashion Celestia and Luna. They were born that way, it was their natural existence. They were wise and patient and benign. The Doctor… or perhaps his entire species… started out mortal and became otherwise, going down a different road than the Faeries travelled. It was a journey that left horrific marks that I only dimly perceived on this individual.

I never backed down from the Lord of Chaos, but the eyes of the Doctor made me want to fall back and get reinforcements! Still… I was an Equestrin, damnit! That miserable chair was feeling more like a cage by the second but I forced my hooves into my lap and I met his poor, damned eyes and stood my ground.

And just like that, his eyes were merely hard and simply blue! I honestly don’t know if I had been warned or had been unlucky…

“Leave off trying to analyze me, Captain Starry-Eyes.” He said in a low, neutral voice. “I’ve given Freud and Surak both nightmares. I. Am. The. Doctor. …And that’s explanation enough for Empires, Federations, or any Pony curious enough to ask and bold enough to listen. The lives of my enemies are still lives, and I will never allow myself to forget that again. So don’t even imply that a few lives are some sort of fair trade for millions. Unless you are in a position to appreciate their potential don’t dare to treat them as some sort of tally in an obscene game!”

It would have been safer to cut myself and go wading on Equestris… but I cocked my head ever-so-slightly and asked. “Like you, Doctor?”

“Exactly like me, Captain. Just exactly.” I should have been disgusted at his arrogance, but…

“What are you, Doctor?”

“A Timelord.” His eyes softened just a bit, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that they became just a little more Equine. “Do you really want to know more?”

I hesitated before I spoke. “No… but for the sakes of the Ponies under my command… I have to.” I wasn’t being noble in particular, truth be told, I haven’t been that scared since I thought Sunny had been killed by Kruse. If I was the only one at stake I’dve let the matter lay but, like I said, I’m an Equestrin…and he was part of my job.

He considered me for a long moment, weighing me up with his impossible eyes, before a smirk twisted his lips.

“As hard as it is to believe coming, as it does, from a Pony with a Time Machine…” He began in an abruptly lighter tone. “I simply don’t have the time to go into all that just now! Let’s finish saving the day first, shall we?” He treated me to a winning, fey smile and I felt like sagging in relief!

“Sounds like a plan to me, Doctor!” I kicked my chair into a slow spin and took in the faces of my Bridge Crew. They were all still staring at the self-declared Timelord as if he’d just pulled a mask back down over something Alien and inscrutable. Well… he just did at that, didn’t he?

It was time to get everypony’s mind back on business! “What’s the status of the Klingon life-force readings, Milky? Maglev? Shut your mouth before something flies into it! Code, is the Klingon capable of receiving our transmissions?”

Maglev gave a start in his seat, shut his mouth with an audible clop, and turned back to his board to give it his absolute attention! Code stuck his earpiece into his ear and played a medley on the Comm circuits while Milky Way bent over her viewing hood. True North and High Jump sat at attention and paid scrupulous attention to their boards and the Main Viewer respectively. Everypony avoided the Doctor’s gaze. For his part, the Timelord idly monitored his board with a ‘Well, what you expect?’ expression. There were reasons I shouldn’t, damn good ones, but I couldn’t help feeling that he and I could almost be friends. In its own way our little clash of wills served to give us a measure of one another… and we both liked what we saw.

Code broke the silence first.

“I’m getting feedback on both EM and subspace carrier waves, Captain. For my money he’s got enough power to transmit and receive.”

I was going to have him open hailing frequencies when Milky Way spoke up.

“Klingon K-band readings are holding at twelve percent. There are signs of some sort of feedback through the Arcanomagnetic matrix the Doctor set up. …It’s increasing in frequency and strength!”

The Doctor couldn’t have looked more surprised if his tie and coat had been magically swapped for a Fez and a mop! His eyes flew wide, then he frowned.

“That’s impossible!” Me made as if to fling himself upon the controls but froze, instead. He raised one hoof and looked my way. “Unless… No, that would mean that there’s a… Of course!” He spoke the last words with disgust directed at himself, punctuating the comment with a hoof to his forehead repeatedly!

“What ‘of course’, Doc?” I demanded. “I’ll bomb that ship in a Salusian second if you can’t…”

“The tentacled motif!” He said as if that just explained everything! My irritated look goaded him into expounding. “I thought it was something Klingon! But Discord’s been raiding Earth… or at least a near-Earth… for Prism fodder! And he’s been one busy Dracoequitaur, it seems!” He sprang up to the board he was sharing with Maglev, nearly shouldering the hapless Ensign aside in the process! He ran an anxious eye over the panel and began making rapid adjustments, keeping up a running commentary all the time.

“Lord of Chaos he might be, but I can’t believe that even he would have the absolute temerity to snatch…” He paused and stabbed a hoof at a display! “There! Plain as day! I made a mistake, Captain. I equated the strength of five million, two hundred thousand souls to five million, two hundred thousand individuals. But there as souls and then there are souls! Some darker and more powerful than others, to be sure. Case in point!” He pointed at a display I couldn’t hope to read at that distance.

“Weighing in at an equivalent of six hundred sixty-six thousand, six hundred sixty-six souls, the absolute proof of Discord’s insanity and thirst for power! Our boy has bagged himself an Elder God to make his Prism! The Werewolf is in the clutches of none other than Mighty Cthulhu!” The Doctor studied his displays for a moment and concluded. “And he is not amused. Then again, it’s always so hard to tell with those Elder Gods! Completely alien frame of reference and all that, never tell which way they’ll jump, crawl or ooze!” He propped one foreleg up on the Engineering console and rested his chin on the other thoughtfully before summing it all up so succinctly.
“Oh, bugger!”

Author's Note

'Who's the Pony' is a reference to something Matt Smith's Doctor did in 'Prisoner Zero'. The look on his face was priceless!
Did anypony pick on on the Salusian reference? I know it's Ben Dunn before, but I couldn't pass up the alliteration!

How will the crew deal with the likes of Cthulhu... and how do you pronounce it, anyway!? Is this the End for the good ship, Hermes? Will Starry and the Doctor become sushi for some eldricht horror from beyond the stars? Should I stop trying to do cliffhangers? Tune in next week to STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA and find out

STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA- SUPPLEMENTAL

STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA SUPPLEMENTAL

THE NIGHTMARE
Or
SUBJECTIVE REALITY

Something woke me up…
Our cabin was dim, there’s no point in allowing any room on the Ship to become totally dark. Even in a total power failure the enchanted glowpanels maintain fifteen percent illumination, enough to allow a pony to navigate to the bathroom and avoid the furniture or make their way to emergency stations. It was enough for my Augmented eyes, though, and I peered blearily as I strained my ears to discover just what roused me.

Sunny’s fan purred away, the sound almost-but-not-quite masking her snores as the cuckoo clock tick-ticked to itself on the wall next to the door. I gave it an irritated glance. I had thought I’d finally come to terms with the thing making its Goddess-damned racket every hour on the hour! The ever-present sounds of the Ship’s power systems thrumming through the walls like a high-tech lullaby as well as the various noises of the Life Support Systems I’d long ago accepted and ignored as part of the routine workings of the Hermes. But that clock, on the other hoof, had taken some getting used to. I would have gladly fed it to the recycler days ago if Sunny wasn’t so attached to it!

I turned my head just far enough to read its face. The fact that it read three-seventeen registered to me the very same instant that I realized that something was curled up in my mane. Something warm and trembling that whimpered to itself right in my ear!

…Tyllae was having another Bad Night.

It happened sometimes. Flighty and carefree by day, Tyllae was careful to get under the covers… and my sleepwear… to tuck her head into my breast before I dimmed the lights at night. Listening to my heart, snug and warm, she passed most nights honing her appetite for the next morning’s breakfast and dreaming Faery dreams for her rest. Once in a while, though, her dreams take her back to the uncounted years she spent buried in the ground spelled into stone at the whim of Nightmare Moon where, lost and forsaken, she huddled cold and alone in the dark and cried tears that never came in her fear and loneliness. Sometimes she awakes in the dark confused, afraid that she’s still in the ground and she’s only dreaming a hopeless dream of warmth and comfort. Afraid that she dreams and afraid to wake up she has a miserable time of it until she finally exhausts herself and lapses into actual sleep again only to wake in the morning fresh as a daisy and bright as a home-grown sapphire, apparently none the worse for her ordeal!

…All of which is cold comfort to either of us in the wee hours of the morning. I comfort her as best I can when it happens. Sunny, for all her understanding and compassion any other time, is an advocate of Tough Love at three in the morning! But Sunny can sleep through anything when she puts her mind to it. I, on the other hoof, need less sleep and the sounds of the little Tyke’s distress tugs at my heartstrings like nothing else can.

So, feeling guilty for feeling irritated, I worked a hoof up to cup the trembling little Fey and nuzzled her against my cheek.

“Shhh, kiddo!” I whispered. “It’s all right. I’m right here. You’re all right. Go back to sleep, Honey!”

“Tyllae is all scared!” She mewled into my ear, hugging my mane so tightly I would have lost hairs if I tried to drag her out! “Tyllae is afraid Tyllae is dreaming and gonna wake up all cold an’ alone again! Tyllae doesn’t wanna be cold any more, no, no, nooo! Sooo dark! Tyllae can’t see! Tyllae can’t move! Tyllae still buried, Tyllae knows it! No fair! Tyllae never did anything to anypony!” She curled herself up tighter around my mane and hiccoughed, sobbing.

I stifled a hiss as she tweaked a few hairs loose! “Damnit, Tyllae! That hurts! Come on!” I squirmed and pulled her away from my head as far as I could, brushing my excess mane away from her with my free hoof.

“Take a look around! See? You’re in our cabin!” On an impulse I reached out and triggered the sunglobe for the Geeva plant into life. It rose into the air and cast its green-tinged yellow light onto the plant next to the bed, the brown and yellow tiger-striped, poinsettia-like blooms looking particularly vivid in the dim room. I crossed my fingers that I wasn’t waking Sunny up as I hitched myself up a little and pointed the little Fey in that direction. Sunny made a disgruntled noise and shifted in her sleep, burrowing her head into my shoulder against the soft light. I held my breath for a moment but Sunny stayed silent.

“Look! There’s Myrl. Have you ever dreamed in color before?”

“Tyllae dreams in colors alla time!” The little thing wailed. “Flowers an’ Sun an’ leaves poor, poor, poor Tyllae never gonna see againnn!” Tyllae shook her head and ducked into my palm and whimpered.

“Shhh! You’re gonna wake Sunny! Tyllae you can hear me. Have you ever spoken to anypony in a dream before?”

“Tyllae talks inna dreams alla time!”

“But have you ever had a conversation in a dream? Actually had a talk with somepony who said something you didn’t expect?”

“Anything can happen inna dream, Starry! Tyllae could be dreaming Tyllae is talky-talking to nice, nice, nice Starry. Then Tyllae gonna wake up an’ be all cold again!” The terrified tyke protested. “Tyllae is dreaming Tyllae just knows it! Is all too good to be real!” She sniffled and trembled, hot tears trickling down onto my fingers. “Nothing good ever happens to Tyllae any more! Tyllae must be a bad, bad, bad Faery!”

“Calm down, kiddo! You’re not a bad Faery; you’re just having a nightmare.” I nuzzled her against my cheek. “Feel that? I’m real. Have you ever felt anything in a dream before?”

Tyllae sniffled and nuzzled my cheek with a soft elfin nose. I felt her gather up my mane in her hooves and rub her face. I felt a surge of hope as her trembling backed down slightly but there was still an element of doubt in her voice when she spoke.

“Tyllae could be dreaming…. Anything can happen inna dream, Starry!”

“That’s it, Tyllae! Stop and think!” I urged her. “Trust your senses. You can hear and see in your dreams but have you ever physically felt anything before?” To emphasize my point I cupped her in my hoof and jiggled her, something that always set the waking Fey into giggles.

But the little cynic was refusing to be comforted!

“Tyllae could still be dreaming!” She said stubbornly, but in a firmer, less tearful voice as doubt gnawed at her terrified resolve.

“Keep it down, will you? You’ll wake Sunny at this rate then we’ll all be in for a real nightmare!” I admonished as I felt Sunny squirm restlessly. “Now think, already!” I paused for a moment, a sudden inspiration coming to me. I came to bed late that night, having taken a turn around the Sciences Department for more than an hour and lending a hoof with the Sensor modifications. On the way back I stopped by the Galley and scrounged a late-night snack in the form of leftover garlic bread with toasted onions from the spaghetti dinner we’d been served that night. As fate would have it, I jumped straight into bed without brushing my teeth first… I knew I’d be getting up before Sunny anyway and would have plenty of time to get presentable!

“Tyllae, you can see, hear, talk, and maybe feel things in your dreams, right?”

“Uh-huh…” She quavered, unsure.

“Well, have you ever smelled anything in a dream before?” With that, I cupped my hooves around the little Fey and puffed an aromatic blast straight into her face!

I felt her go rigid for an instant before she backpedaled out of my grasp and free of my mane. She hovered in front of me windmilling her wings and shaking her head!

“Acky-poo, Starry! Tyllae never ever, ever, ever smelled anything inna dream before! Tyllae would have remembered something lika that!” She worked her nose and sneezed before flitting up to hug my cheek and dry her tears. “Tyllae is sorry for being a silly, scardey-scared Faery!”

“All right! All right!” I hissed. “Keep it down, already! It’s all right! Now come on and get back to bed. Think you can sleep now?”

“Tyllae can sleep now. All goody-good dreams from now on!” She caroled, nodding hard enough to set her little antennae jangling.

I turned onto my side, facing her and pulling my top open and the blanket down. “Shhh, will you? Come on, let’s get back to sleep, ok?”

Just then I felt the bed shift as Sunny pulled herself up and peered over my shoulder. Oh, crap!

“I’d better be a-dreamin’ this…” She growled sleepily.

“Hi-hii, Sunny!” Tyllae waved at her. “Tyllae knows how Sunny can tell if Sunny is dreaming or not! Starry just showed Tyllae how! Tyllae will show!”

Before I could stop her, the little fink zoomed straight up in front of Sunny’s muzzle and did a smart about-face in midair. She lifted her tail and, fanning her wings backwards for good measure, pooted right into Sunny’s nose!

“Ever smell anything inna dream before, Sunny?” She asked brightly.

Author's Note

Just something to tide one and all over while I knock the current chapter into place. This scene is the genesis of the original Furry STAR TREK story I came up with a few years back. A goofy little Faery and two Mares in love and one nightmare-filled night onboard the Hermes. Just another night in Starfleet! Happy Thanksgiving, all!

Chapter Fifty- The Plan

CHAPTER FIFTY

THE PLAN

“What,” I growled. “Is a ‘Cthulhu’ and how would you spell it?” I gave the Timelord a dangerous glare as he burst into manic motion, stabbing at and adjusting settings on his borrowed control board.

“Ages ago and in another Universe,” The Doctor’s voice said in a distracted voice. “After the Silurians went into stasis and long before anything like a mammal developed on the planet there came to Earth a collection of truly alien beings that were reckoned as Gods by the inhabitants of the place at the time. Now I don’t, as a rule, have anything against ‘Gods’ as such… as long as they don’t make a nuisance of themselves. But this lot were truly in a class by themselves!” He paused for a beat, chewing the inside of his lip before launching into another series of rapid-fire adjustments to his controls.

“It can be said in their defense that these things were utterly indifferent to the people who lived there. They had as much in common with them as you or I have with exotic particles created in high energy atom-smashers. …Though that isn’t quite correct, those particles at least came from this universe! You see, these creatures did not descend from the Heavens in flaming chariots or emerge from the Primordial Chaos in a victorious fanfare of divine trumpets. They seeped down into that reality from fathomless, unknowable… places and stayed out of the light of the sun in dank, misty locales and dreamed their dark and twisted dreams unaware of and not caring about anything around them. Their very existence, though, had an effect on the places they stayed. On the rare occasions one of them stirred forth on unknowable errands they warped and defiled the world around them. I suppose that was the catalyst that set the whole Miasma in motion; you’ll have to ask Luna or Celestia about the Miasma, I just don’t have the time right now! In any event, intentionally or not, they allowed themselves to be seen on occasion. You see, there were people about in those days. Oh, not the sort of people you would recognize as such but they thought and reasoned and were self-aware in ways no animal can lay claim to. They saw these beings from afar and wondered at the strange signs of their passing. The boldest… or perhaps less prudent of them… driven by curiosity or some emotion our kind have no analog to, sought them out. What they found, more often than not, was so utterly alien and therefore terrifying that they simply could not wrap their minds around the significance of what they’d discovered. Most of them died outright, their minds blasted from within as they made contact with these twisted intellects. A very few, perhaps those who stayed on the very thin edge of sanity, returned to tell the tale of these incredible beings from Beyond The World. They exhorted their brethren to revere them and urged one and all to pay homage to these, for lack of a better description, Gods. It’s a story that’s played itself out countless times in this Universe and Others! …Just give me an increase of a few megacycles in the field there, won’t you?” He pointed to a set of controls in front of Maglev who was frankly gaping at the little Stallion.

The Mare in my Head was leaning forward in her seat, hanging on to his each and every word with an intent expression. I spun her chair around in a circle, making her clutch her armrests and squawk, to get her mind back to business!

“Doctor, this had better be going somewhere and fast!”

“Yes, yes, yes!” He flapped a hoof at me irritably. “I’m filling you in on events that took nearly a billion years to unfold in just a few minutes. I’m going as fast as I can so you must be patient, my Dear Captain!” He fixed me with a stern gaze and did his best to intimidate me. In a one-room schoolhouse in a bygone age he might have pulled it off. But he was on my Bridge on my ship and I would be damned if he was going to get away with it!

My gaze let him know it, too, as I locked eyes with him!

“Captain… Starry!” His gaze lost its pedantic crotchetiness but none of its urgency as it appealed to me. “I’m truly explaining as fast as I can. What Discord has done is appallingly monstrous! Something is stirring over there…” He waved a hoof at the ship on the screen. “That must never be wakened. As long as Cthulhu dreams, as long as its consciousness never comes to bear on us directly we have a chance! It walked the Earth, not your Earth but one very much like it and certain insane individuals were able to gain a measure of Power from the merest excreta of its existence. They worshipped it in their ignorance, you see. Made it into a God of their purposes, though Cthulhu has no use or need for any devotion! Its mind is so utterly alien and unknowable that any communication with it would lead to madness, death or worse! It could blast this ship just by noticing it!”

“Doctor, I don’t have time for ghost stories! I have over two hundred megatons of photon torpedo on deck ready to go. Discord himself couldn’t cope with the EMP much less the radiation! I’ll guarantee you it won’t know what hit it. It’ll be dead before its nerves tell its brain what’s going on, trust me!” I made a move to my comm panel to give Kirk the go-ahead but the Doctor halted me with a pointing hoof aimed straight at my heart!

“Captain.” His voice was quiet and so utterly sincere that I stayed my hoof. “If you do that you will kill us all… if we’re very fortunate.” The blue eyes of the Doctor blazed with the knowledge of uncounted years and horrifying experiences. The eccentric little Stallion was gone and the Timelord exhorted me with his gaze and his absolute… authority!

The Bridge muttered electronically, the Main Viewer pinged with every sweep of its scanners, the various stations beeped and warbled quietly but not a Pony spoke as the Doctor and I locked eyes.

“Look at Kyr, Starry.” He said quietly, drawing a veil over and concealing most of what showed through a moment earlier. I didn’t know that I’d tensed until I relaxed. “He’s already been… twisted… by the thing he has onboard. The bulk of his crew no doubt was the price he paid to keep what little of himself he had left intact. That instinct for self-preservation is all he has left, that and his burning for revenge and his craving for what he calls power and glory. Poor fool! Everypony thinks they can bargain with Hell when they approach it, that they will manage to come away the better for the exchange! Delusion! Sheer delusion!”

“I am looking at Kyr!” I retorted, gesturing at the ship on the screen. “From where I sit it seems that all he has to do is whistle and Old Squid Face will do to us what it did to Kyr’s crew. If we can’t kill that thing over there we sure as Hell can kill the guy that can wake him up! We don’t have the time to debate this!”

“Hellooo!” The Doctor said smugly. “Mad Pony with a Blue Box here! I have all the Time we’ll ever need! I have to get to the TARDIS!” He spun around, pointing a hoof at the Ponies under my command in turn.

“You there! Maglev, is it? Keep these settings intact! Under no circumstances don’t allow the integrity of the containment field I’ve set up degrade. I’ll be extremely cross if you do!” Maglev gulped and turned back to his board, shooting me a panicked glance as he did so.

The Doctor whirled toward Code, his coat tails flapping. “Accept no communication from the Werewolf whatsoever! Don’t call him, he won’t call you! Stand by… whatever it is you stand by at times like this! By the same token…” He turned to Milky Way. “Do not do any detailed scanning of the Werewolf. Passive scanning will tell you all you need to know as sure as Bob’s your Uncle! The last thing we need right now is a paradox! …And somepony tell that Mad Bomber in the Transmat Room for Time’s sake to keep his hoof off that button! Kyr will detect any hostile action and wake Mighty Cthulhu at once… to all our detriment!” He sprang toward the turbolift with a Fey glint in his eye, intent on the plan that blazed in his head.

“Starry, if this works I’ll be back in just a few moments. All you have to do is sit tight. If nothing else I should be able to buy you time to move off and hide. If the Werewolf shows signs of regaining power, if there is a huge spike in the Arcane Energy coming from over there, I will have failed. In which case you should proceed as you see fit. Only…” He paused and caught my gaze, lowering his voice to a more personal level. “Take care of Miss Doo for me, won’t you? Tell her I’m so very, very sorry and that I …”

“Now wait one rock-rubbing minute!” I planted my hooves on the arms of my chair and pulled myself free to stand up, swishing my tail to work the stiffness out. I caught the
Timelord’s eyes. “If I read you right you’re planning on going over there by yourself. Not gonna happen! I don’t see a horn on your head much less a set of wings. Whatever else that hyperthyroided flashlight of yours can do it isn’t going to be worth slag against the likes of that!” I hooked a thumb at the image of the Werewolf as it lay dazed in space.

“If all I can do over here is sit tight,” I continued, taking a giant step to join him on the upper level of the Bridge. “I’ll be of more use with you. I’m damned if I’m going to sit on my thumbs while somepony else risks their lives to save my Ship! Save your breath, Doctor!” I said in response to the rebellious look on the Timelord’s face. “I’m your Wingpony on this! Code! My compliments to Lieutenant Kirk and recall him to the Bridge. He has the Conn in my absence. The rest of you carry on with the Doctor’s ‘suggestions’ … since he would never have the bad manners to presume to give orders on my Bridge, wouldn’t you Doctor?”

“Now see here!” The Doctor stomped a hoof and glared up at me. “I’m one thousand and five years old and have more years of experience in things like this than your species had with electricity…!”

“Why the insistence on the lack of detailed scanning, Doctor?” I cut him off, giving him a smirk. “Indulge me about the paradox.”

“Don’t try to mollify me!” He grumped. “I swear! It’s U.N.I.T. all over again! Are you sure you’re not related to a certain Brigadier of that Service? Better them than Torchwood, I suppose.” He shot me a dark look before continuing. “We can’t go out of our way to see what’s going on over there just now because there’s a very good chance that I… we… are already over there!”

Chapter Fifty one: INTERLUDE WITH A TIMELORD

CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE

INTERLUDE WITH A TIMELORD

I held the Timelord’s eyes for a moment. “Ok, you heard the Pony!” I said briskly. “Communications blackout with the Werewolf, no detailed scans! If they show signs of powering up we’ll have failed in our attempt. Break contact with it and get the Ship to what safety you can manage. In that event, pass along to Lieutenant Kirk that my orders are to return back to Federation Space at best speed and advise them of what’s happened out here. Hopefully Admiral Quicksilver has a contingency plan set up by now.” I took a quick step up to the turbolift and paused to look around at the Bridge Crew. The young Ponies regarded me silently, their eyes shining with so many things we none of us had time for just then. “If we don’t make it back…” I turned toward Milky Way, the only one of them I’d had any sort of prolonged interaction with. “Tell Sunny and Tyllae that I love them both… and that I’m sorry.”

“Of course, Starry.” She said softly. “Be careful!”

“We both will!” The Doctor had trotted up to the doors until they opened and stood there with one forehoof raised and gave us all a devil-may-care look. “Let’s not be too grim, eh? Where there’s the TARDIS, there’s hope! Kyr may well think we’ve put ourselves into a trap when we’ve arrived but he’ll soon find out what deadlier creatures have discovered, namely that the worst thing one can put into a trap is, well, me!” He paused and treated us all to a wide, frankly horsey grin before poking me in the bottom with his raised hoof and retreating into the turbolift. “Come along, my good Captain! Geronimo and all that!”

If anypony else had done that I would have backhoofed them straight across the Bridge. I was so taken aback by the act, though, that all I did was follow him in with every intention of reading him the riot act once the doors closed!

It was a tight fit, only the fact that he was short enough to stand up to stand under my upper torso assets make it less awkward. As it was I had to twist myself around so I could glare at him as the doors closed and I reached for the activating handle.

“Ok, Doc…!” I began, but the Timelord was busy peering at the wall next to him, ignoring me completely.

“Button, button, where are the buttons?” He mused to himself. “Oh, wait! I remember how this works!” He peered out from under my overarching topography and addressed the ceiling, looking smug. “Cargo Bay Two, if you please!” He paused expectantly. When nothing happened he cleared his throat and tried again, carefully enunciating each and every word.

“I say, Cargo… Bay… Two.” He frowned and waited. “Energize, make it so … please?” He sighed and looked up at me with a twinkle in his eye. “Maybe it only responds to Ponies wearing badges, I seem to recall something about badges… Give yours a tap, will you? I’d do it, but it wouldn’t be proper given its locale!”

“As opposed to poking my butt on the Bridge?” I said icily. I grabbed the handle and twisted it so hard that it creaked. “Cargo Bay Two, Command Priority! Look, Doctor, I don’t know how it goes wherever the Hell you come from…”

He cut me off… again!

“I don’t know what you have to complain about!” He said defensively. “I didn’t break your tail! It hurts like the Dickens, too, thank-you-for-asking!”

“And I kept you from breaking your slaggin’ neck, you clay-brained…”

“And I kept you from scaring your Command half to death!” He said primly. “Really! Such melodrama! Wherever did you learn your Command Style? It seems to me…”

“Stop interrupting me, damn you!” I thundered out. He shut up but remained looking up at me with that annoying, patronizing smile of his!

The car thrummed to life, dropping us down and beginning to arc its way along the Primary Hull on its direct route to the nearest lift station. I gave him a hard look and took a deep breath before continuing.

“I appreciate that you are privy to a lot of information that I’m not. I get it that you come from some sort of more highly-advanced society.” I gave him a warning look when he looked like he was about to say something. “I also suspect that you’ve interacted with more Alien Species than there are Ponies on Equestris! That being the case, I should think you’d have the elemental good taste not to act like some sort of scatterbrained twerp while you’re doing it! The Federation may be pretty small apples from your perspective but we’re not idiots and I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t treat me or the Ponies under my command with such superficial patronization, got it?” I glared down at him until the smirk left his face. “… And I’m sorry I broke your tail, but it was all I could grab as you went sailing by.” I added.

The lift carried us on in silence for a few more seconds before beginning its descent to the lower decks. The Doctor’s gaze lost a lot of its manic enthusiasm and his expression softened, looking almost hangdog by the time he spoke again.

“Well… it’s true that my unique, um, circumstances do give me a rather different insight into the Bigger Picture as it were.” He reached up to tug absently at his ear while he rolled his eyes away, contrite. “But that doesn’t give me the right to run roughshod over people I’m trying to help, doesn’t it?” He quickly glanced at me before looking away again. “I really do mean well, Starry, and I do have your best interests at heart. It’s only that I’ve been at this sort of thing for a very long time now and it’s been my experience that… in most cases… it doesn’t help matters for me to stop and explain in detail. What I do I do best alone, or with a few Companions who serve to remind me that I really am... in the final analysis... nothing but a Mad Pony with a Blue Box.” He smiled up at me apologetically. “Sometimes the colossal arrogance that I intensely dislike about my kind manages to come to the fore and I manage to forget on occasion. For that I do apologize and I promise I’ll tell you something about Gallopfrey and the Timelords should we come through this intact to satisfy your curiosity… and explain a little.” He reached up and patted my knee paternally, snatching it away when I cocked an eye at him!

“Ahem! In the meantime I just want to say that what we’re about to do, although very dangerous, isn’t altogether hopeless! I have an advantage that Kyr does not!”

The car began its final deceleration as I peered down at the little stallion curiously.

“I speak the language of the Elder Gods!” He said triumphantly.

The doors opened and he scampered out, taking the wrong turning until I called him back. Around the last corner we came upon Rocky and two of his Security Ponies guiding an antigrav sled with a pair of trussed-up Diamond Dogs sleeping upon it. I paused just long enough to get a status report from him.

“As far as I can tell this is the last of them. No real problem now that the ultrasonics are going. Just a matter or walking up and stunning them if they aren't already unconscious.” He adjusted the position of a body while his mates held the sled steady. “Piece of apple cake now!”

“Glad to hear its working!” I eyed the snoring, whimpering cargo and, despite myself, couldn't help but feel sorry for the militant mutts. The Mare in my head snorted and offered a replay of past events. I told her to show a little compassion and she replied with something barely audible and probable obscene regarding the entire Canine race.

“Put the 'sonics on standby once you have them in the Brig. If we come through this all right the Doctor can see what can be done about sending them home. In the meantime...” I gestured to the bodies. “Do as you see fit to keep them under control...” The Mare in my head cheered. “...Within Equane reasons.” She shook her head disgustedly.

Rocky eyed us both. “If we get through what? What's up?”

“We're boarding the Klingon ship while its disabled. The Doctor has a plan, gimme your balephaser!”

Rocky handed the thing over hoof-grip first while the Doctor made a face at it that the two of us pointedly ignored. He spoke up as I checked the readout.

“Two standard stun settings used. You have maybe eight maximum-power shots left depending on whether or not you use the balefire settings. Call it two dozen standard stun shots. One pistol versus an entire ship? Doesn't sound like my kind of plan, Starry!” He gave the Timelord a skeptical look.

“We're not going over to fight!” The Doctor said petulantly. “We're going over to prevent a fight, or worse. Think of it as a raid! In and out, very actiony and ninja-esque don't you know?” He skittered his forehooves around like an old-style martial arts actor from Sunny's collection of improbable movies. Rocky eyed him sourly before turning back to me.

“Seriously?” He asked. “That guy?”

“Steady on!” The Doctor admonished. “I hold a gold belt in Venusian Aki-Do awarded to me by sensei Warth the Elder himself, so there! I cold fight you and your whole squad under the table if I had a mind to. I'm a veritable Dalek when I get my dander up!” He suddenly dropped his guise of nonchalant buffoonery and gave Rocky a glimpse of what lay behind those soft, blue eyes. Rocky's own eyes hardened at what he saw but he stood his ground.

Rocky worked his mouth for a moment, appraising the Timelord. “'Dalek', huh? I heard a story once in a bar on Rigel. Weird old guy, an alien of some sort. Never found out where he came from. He told us about a fight involving an army of psychotic robots. Only he called 'em 'Day-lex'. He said they were run off by a Pony, a Pony with blue eyes. Just showed up and confronted the whole mob and they ran off like Discord was after them. Called him The Last Time-Lord, or something like that. Helluva story and he told it just right so we'd keep listening. Just figured he was spinning a yarn so we'd buy him drinks. You know the type, Starry; you find 'em in all the bars near the starports.” He shrugged. “Maybe you don't. You're not much of a drinker, at least that's what the Doc says!”

Before I could protest he'd turned back to the Doctor and scrutinized him with narrowed eyes. “A blue-eyed Earth Pony. Like I said, Helluva story. You know anything about it, Bub?”

“My dear colt,” The Doctor regarded him levelly. “I know things that would freeze your blood in its veins. Tell me, this alien... what did he look like?”

“Short, about your size, but big and wide.” Rocky's lips quirked up on one side in a grin. “No neck. He looked like nothing so much as a potato! Itty-bitty eyes and nose. Dark skin. He wore a leather outfit that might have been an old uniform. Didn't take any guff off nopony. Other folks there left him alone but he made a beeline for our table when he saw us. Short or not, everyone got the hell out of his way! I figured he was already drunk and was spoiling for a fight but he just pulled up on us and asked if he could drink with 'real warriors'.” He shrugged again. “Turned out all right. He bought the first round and accepted everything we pushed his way after that. Damned if he didn't act like it was due or something! Figgered him as an ex-soldier of some sort. Traded War stories with him though I can't say that I believed everything he told us. Nobody lives through that many fights! Real gung-ho type!”

“Was there an eye patch involved?” The Doctor asked suddenly. “And a scar, right about here?” He drew a hoof high up across his eyebrow on the left side.

“Yeah, didn't help his looks none but he wasn't exactly a fashion template in the first place!”

The Doctor nodded, smiling about something we weren't privy to. “There is no thing as an 'ex-soldier' in the terms of his people. He's a Sontaran, Major Strax of the Fifteenth Sontaran Battle Fleet. A bit too eager with the grenades, but a likeable enough chap once he realized there was no going back to Sontar. He and I were associates for a while, nice to know the old boy is still knocking around. Rigel did you say? I'll have to pop 'round that way and see if I could look him up. It's only reasonable, I suppose, that some of them made it into this Universe, I did, after all. And I wasn't even trying! But first things first! We have a job to do and we'd better be tottering off! Geronimo and all that!” He turned to trot briskly on but I jerked him to a halt by grabbing his coat tail.

“Wait one rock-rubbing minute, Doc!” I paused to double check the settings on the balephaser pistol Rocky passed me. Being a standard model, it was tiny in my hoof almost like a hold-out gun, the cylindrical barrel and its three tiny waveguides alone stuck out of my fist as I hefted it. Tiny or not it was still a balephaser and only an idiot would take somepony’s word for the state of the weapon without verifying it. I didn’t want to end up as a double amputee or go up in a cloud of baryons because I didn’t check the safety! Not that Rocky would ever be so careless, of course, but he’d never forgive me for being careless no matter what the circumstances.

The settings checked. Eighty percent power and set for heavy stun, the safety was well and truly locked. I enabled the magnetomic dihesion plate, Starfleet doesn’t use holsters for handguns, and almost stuck the thing on my hip. I remembered the TARDIS’s narrow door with a wince and moved it halfway back toward my spine high on my left gluteus. The only other alternative was to stuff it into my cleavage, where it would at least have a soft ride, or hold the damn thing in my teeth when I went through the TARDIS door. Neither option appealed to my dignity just then so I cocked an eye at the Doctor and continued.

“Is that true, Doctor? How long have you been knocking around our neck of the tunnels… and why is it nopony’s ever mentioned you?”

He gave the coat-tails in my fist an irritated look and I released them. “My good Starry-Eyes, I am a Timelord with a functioning TARDIS. I’ll always be coming, I’m already here, I’ve been and gone long ago. It’s as simple as that!”

I laid my ears flat with just the tiniest bit of a grimace and he saw fit to continue. “As far as my non-notoriety goes, I make it a point to work behind the scenes as it were. My job is to see that fixed points in Time and History remain fixed and intact. Otherwise all of Reality would become unglued and you’d have to contend with all sorts of alternate realities becoming hopelessly entangled. History must carry on as it should and when I do become involved it’s best for everypony if my efforts only exist in folklore or bar stories. It’s better that way, believe me!”

“But you’re here!” Rocky interrupted. “And if you’re here that means we’re gonna make it all right since you’re going to be here in the future so what’s to worry?”

“Think about what he said, Rocky.” I cautioned. “The fact that he has to be around to fix things indicates that he’s not always successful. Am I right, Doctor?”

The Timelord’s face went expressionless for a long second and his body almost sagged as if he’d taken a heavy blow. “I have failed before, on more than one occasion. Trillions of billions have died because of what I’ve done or failed to do in the course of Time. How clever of you to deduce that.” He said flatly, giving me a look with eyes that resonated of guilt, sadness, and despair. I suddenly realized that the persona of the manic madpony was his only shield against the knowledge and the memory, his only lifeline to what his kind reckon sanity. I was so shaken by the realization that I almost missed what he said next.

“Tell me, what do Starfleet Records have to say about the Temporal Cold War?”

I blinked. “The say what now?”

“Never heard of it.” Rocky stated, then turned to his Security Ponies. “And neither did you two. This meeting never happened, read me? I’ll debrief you later. I still got a bottle of Genuine Ancient Rocket Apple Bourbon, pretty smooth, too! I got a feeling we’re all going to need a snort before this is done. Now get goin’!” He fixed them each with a stern eye. Trust Rocky to recognize a Security Breach when he saw one!

“Admiral Forest and Captain Archer were Ponies of their word.” The Doctor observed as the Security Ponies hurried on their way.

“Captain Archer? Of the Enterprise?” But that was decades ago. There’s nothing in the Federation Database about anything like that!” I protested.

The Doctor gave me a Fey grin and tapped his nose coyly. “Magic Blue Box, Captain! I’ve been at this for a very long time indeed.”

“Temporal means having to do with time, right?” Rocky said. “Are you saying you had a hoof in that?”

“Yes and no.” The Doctor nodded. “I was never onboard Captain Archer’s ship. I was needed … elsewhen.” He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts before proceeding. “The Temporal Cold War was… from this point in Time… a theater of a greater conflict. Namely, The Time War fought by the Timelords of Gallopfrey and a coalition of enemies the chief of whom was a race called the Daleks. This conflict splintered Time and is reflected in countless realities. The Daleks and Cyberponies I know are represented in your timeline by a species called the Borg…”

“Who the Hell are the Borg?” Rocky demanded.

“Spoilers, my good colt, spoilers!” The Doctor patted him on the knee to keep him quiet. “As I was saying, the Klingons and Roamulans you know are analogues to the Sontarans, Rutans, and dozens of other militant species of my time. All the timelines bear certain similarities, all contain reflections of the events that were spawned in that first, Primal Timeline. The Time War is the penultimate conflict that runs through them all. Evil and Good are in conflict in all Space and Time. Your Federation, by its very existence, made it a target for those forces. It’s enemies sought to attack it at its source, trying to destroy it before it began. And old trick, really, one that most species try when they develop Temporal Technology... with rare exceptions. It never turns out well. Not. At. All.”

“The, ah, Timelords won then.” I stated, hesitating at the look he gave me. “I mean, you're here to carry on the fight so they must have won.” I regretted that the instant I said it for the Doctor’s face, though it did not fall, shut itself tighter than any Blue Box and his eyes became flat windows lit from behind by a light that brought no warmth of comfort to what lay inside.

“The Time War ended with the destruction of the Daleks... and Gallopfrey. I saw them all burn in the Vortex. I made it happen, you see. There was one chance in that one instance, an instance that would never come again ...and I took it. The Daleks would never be a threat again. But there would be Gallopfrey no more.” There was hurt in those haunting eyes and deep, abiding shame in that low voice. “I committed a genocide to stop countless others. If they had won the Daleks would have 'ex-ter-min-ated', as they were fond of saying, all other life. ...I've been cleaning up the leftovers ever since in an effort to keep the timelines separate and secure so that all of Reality does not descend into Chaos. But Chaos is persistent and echoes of that One War rumble like a subtle drumbeat throughout the ages” As he spoke one hoof drummed the deck, one-two-THREE-four, one-two-THREE-four. If the look in his eyes was any indication, that sequence held a special significance. It meant nothing to us if the look on our faces were any indication to him.

“Where and when those echoes concentrate and reinforce themselves...” He went on. “The Old War, the Chaos grows strong and tries to start the cycle all over again in some other timeline. That's where I go, wherever, whenever I'm needed. It's the job I chose for myself. It's what I do. I'm the very last Timelord... and it's my responsibility to make it all right again. To my dying breath, Starry. To my last, dying breath.” He gave me a weary, horsey smile while the shields slid into place over those tragic eyes with the smoothness of long practice.

“You're telling us,” Rocky said slowly. “That you're some sort of War Criminal, at least, in your eyes? We have a saying out here, Doc. 'The Enemy of my Enemy is my Friend'. I don't know if I'm ready to believe all this applesauce about alternate realities and so forth. I'm just a Security Chief and I've got what you call a pragmatic take on things. You're here and you're here to help. That makes you all right in my book. I'm sure as Hell not gonna judge you, not my department. I only know what I've seen and heard from the other decks. The Word is that the Doctor and that cross-eyed Pegasus are All Right and that's good enough for me! You ever get called up on the carpet for whatever you did or didn't, you make sure they call up me and mine for character witnesses. We'll set 'em straight, see if we don't!” He reached out to thump the little stallion on the shoulder, his face creaking into one of his rare smiles. “Thanks, Doc, for trying. You gave us this chance at least and a chance is all anypony can ask for, Right, Starry?”

I was silent, regarding the Doctor. Not that long ago Tyllae told Caper that she thought it was her job to find out what the Faeries did to make Nightmare Moon so mad... so she could make it all better all by her little self. For the sake of all her departed kin she stayed in this world to help us. In her sadness and regret this Last Faery could still summon up the courage to smile and play. What, I wondered, did the Doctor do in order to carry on? I wondered if the two of them had any time to compare notes about the hardness of the worlds? I had to shake my head slowly before I spoke.

“I don't know if the ends justifies the means. Khan thought it did. So did Hitter and Stallion Joe... but they all had different motivations, didn't they? Would they have at least tried to atone if they had the chance? Does your knowledge of alternate future history include those scenarios, Doctor? Or is that another case of 'spoilers'?”

The Doctor only shook his head. “Fixed points in History, Starry, they can't be changed so there are no alternatives to consider. In that much, at least, I've been successful.” He gave me a wan smile. “I have had my triumphs from time to time!”

“Hmm...” I considered the Timelord. “I can intellectually comprehend your position, though I can't fully appreciate it on an emotional level. I'm the only Equestrin that I know of in Starfleet and that can be rough enough, living up to the deeds of my forebears. Still, I can empathize with you if just a little on those grounds... assuming you need the sympathy. You are frankly a case beyond my imagining. I wouldn't ever want to be in a situation to have to make the choices you did. I can only hope that I would make the right one...”

“Be careful what you wish for, Starry-Eyes!” The Doctor said softly, giving me an unreadable look.

I quirked an eyebrow at him but he remained silent.

“Be that way, then! Look, I'm certainly not going to stand in judgment of you, I don't know if I even have the authority to do so! We all have to take the responsibility for our actions in what way we can. That's how we do it on Equestris. Do Good when you can and do your best when you can't. You never gave up and, from my admittedly biased viewpoint, that works out in your favor. At any rate, Tyllae thinks the worlds of you and any friend of Tyllaes' is a friend of mine. I don't judge my friends, it's not what friends do. If helping us stop Discord helps you then I'm ready to help and that goes for the Ponies under my command. If it'll help I'll purge all mention of you from our logs. I would imagine that mentioning you would only draw unwanted attention anyway, am I right or am I right?”

“You are a quick study, aren't you?” The Doctors' Fey look was back. “Yes, I would prefer that. The fewer Ponies... and others... that know of me, the better!”

“Fair enough!” I drew myself up and checked the position of the balephaser behind me, making ready to be off. There was just one niggling point I wanted to make out of sheer cussedness, I suppose. “Just one other thing...”

“Yes?”

“You seem to be awfully sure that yours is this 'Primal Timeline'. What's to say that this one isn't and the events here aren't reflected in yours? Our trouble with Discord seems to me to be on a par with your Time War. The stakes seem to be the same. With the Prism, Discord bids fair to become all powerful. He's already penetrated other realities to make the damn thing, you know! Chaos across all Time and Space can hardly be worse than your Daleks. I wouldn't give a hoof-full of gravel for anypony's chances anywhen with him in charge!”

The Doctor drew back as if I'd just smacked him on the nose!

“What? I assure you, Madame, that Timelord history is very explicit in its conclusion that we were the first to unlock Temporal Technology. By dint of this fact our History extends from the Event One to The End Of The Universe! Prior to the Time War there were no other realities beside ours. We had conclusive evidence to support the claim, trust me.”

“They used to say the Light Barrier and the Sound Barrier couldn't be crossed, too!” I countered. “And did the Timelords ever develop Magic? Has anyone else?”

“Now see here! Magic is only a term for a technology that hasn't been scientifically qualified. I couldn't tell you of all the times I've seen an advanced culture take advantage of an undeveloped one by passing its technology off as magic...”

“I'm still waiting. You’ve been around Ponies enough to see real Magic at work. Did the Timelords ever develop it or not?”

The Doctor eyed me crossly and drew a grumpy breath. “No.” He ground out. “No other species has managed to develop real 'Magic', whatever that actually is...”

“Yet we, in our limited experiences, have encountered many species that have legends of Magic. They have none themselves, but the stories persist. It seems to me that there is only one timeline where it happened. Using your analogy of reflected images it doesn't seem impossible to me that this one would cast its reflections into all the others, giving Science the semblance of the Magic it resembles. The Chicken or the Egg, Doctor!”

“My dear Captain!” The Timelord shook a hoof at me. “All species tend to put themselves at the Center of the Universe as it were. Sheer arrogance on their part...”

“Like the Timelords, maybe?”

The Doctor worked his jaws as if he were trying to chew a particularly stale ration bar. “It may be...” He said slowly. “That Equestria may represent a polar opposite to Gallopfreyan Technology...” He shot me a sudden glance. The idea had never occurred to him before. In all fairness, though, there was no reason that it should... except that I felt that he needed taken down a peg or two! Maybe it was just the Augment in me rebelling in the face of dogma. It was just an off-the-cuff observation on my part, after all... but it felt good!

“... The idea opens up all sorts of possibilities, I have to admit!” He eyed me narrowly. “Are you a student of Temporal Physics, Starry?”

“Nope! My field is Cosmology as a matter of fact.” I gave him a smug smile. “I'm doing my Doctorate paper on the relationship between Dark Energy and Subspace in regards to the distribution of matter in observed Galaxy clusters.”

“Well, well, well...” He eyed me speculatively, and then grinned. “So you want to be a ‘Doctor’, too? Again, be careful of what you wish for, Doctor Wistful Eyes!”

“Doctor who?” Rocky cocked an eye at him.

“That one’s taken.” The Timelord said quickly, waving a hoof at the Security Chief. “Besides, that is a question that should NEVER be answered, trust me in that!”

“Yeah…” Rocky rolled his eyes at me with a shrug. “Well I got a bottle that’ll make it real easy to forget any of this ever happened.” He tipped me a wink. “After my watch, that is!” My Old Shipmate lapsed back into his usual somber mien. “Do it right, Starry! Come back safe!” He gave the Timelord a penetrating look before adding, “I got the feeling you can take care of yourself, Doctor Whosits. Just keep an eye out for the loose cannon here and I’ll take it kindly.”

“Commanding Officer standing right here, you know…!” I said warningly.

“We’ll both do our best, I promise!” The Doctor said warmly, reaching one hoof up for Rocky to shake. The Security Chief looked at the little appendage dubiously and carefully gripped it.

“Yeah, I know you will.” He grunted. “That Strax character had you pegged right, I think. ‘Nuff said. We’ll be waiting.”

“You should know one way or the other in five minutes, I should think.” The Doctor looked thoughtfully at the old-style watch on his foreleg. The boson’s whistle of the comm panel on the wall made us all jump.

“Cargo Bay Two, respond! There’s a massive energy surge on the Werewolf! Captain Starry-Eyes respond, please!”

“Don’t take that!” The Doctor cried out as Rocky reached for the comm button.

“Doctor, we’re supposed to be watching for that, remember?” I said sharply. “It may to too late to do anything now!”

But the little stallion was already scrambling down the corridor to the Cargo Bay. He called back over his shoulder. “Unless I miss my guess we’re already doing it! Allonz-y, Captain! Geronimo!”

I gave Rocky a hard look and charged after the Doctor!

Author's Note

Ah, Genuine Ancient Rocket (Apple) Bourbon! I wonder what Forbidden Planet he found that on? *Chortles to self until a large Equestrin hoof smax him on the back of head!*

Ahem! This is my humble attempt at integrating the Doctor into the Prism Universe, may Zelazny have mercy on my soul!

Chapter Fifty-Two: TARDIS Blues

CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO

TARDIS BLUES

I caught up with the Doctor in three strides, gaining on him as he waited for the doors to the Cargo Bay to open.

“If we’re in so much of a hurry why did you stop to chat with Rocky?” I asked as he checked his archaic watch again.

“You were the one who stopped as I recall!” The Doctor said prissily. “Though I have to admit I allowed myself to get sidetracked by that young fellow and his tale about Strax. Nice enough fellow, that Rocky! Quiet, self-assured, competent and boring as Hell, no doubt! Shouldn’t this thing have opened by now?” He reared up and jabbed at the door button repeatedly in irritation.

“Let me see that!” I gave the Timelord a gentle body-block he couldn’t counter with a cargo handler and scrutinized the door controls.

“It’s locked!” I stated, already inputting my Command Override. “Now who in Hell decided to do that? I didn’t give any orders to that effect.” I grumbled.

“Somepony in Security is being just a tad overzealous, no doubt.” The Doctor echoed my state of grumpiness. “Time save me from well-meaning amateurs!”

“Don’t let Rocky hear you calling his ponies ‘amateurs’ or he’ll do worse than break your tail!” I admonished as the doors unlatched and slid apart. The Doctor sprinted through as soon as he had space enough to pass which gave him a quarter-second lead on me, call it two pony-lengths at the rate he was going. I was right behind him in two strides but I slowed down when we approached that single short and narrow door on his improbable blue box. I wondered how much of my wardrobe I’d lose going through this time?

“Ah! Just give me one moment, won’t you?” The Doctor worked the latch and stepped halfway through the door, his body bent around the other half of the door with his back half blocking my passage.

It is a peculiarity of the TARDIS that the open doorway showed absolute blackness beyond it no matter what side of the doorway one was on. The interior, as I remembered, was brightly lit though not a glimmer showed through to my side. When I exited the last time I couldn’t see the lights of the cargo bay. As for the Doctor, he might have been standing in the shadows of an airless moon for all that I could make out. His back end, with its broken tail hanging at a peculiar half-mast, moved a little this way and that while his unseen front end fiddled with something in the impenetrable blackness. There was a clack and the Timelord passed all the way inside only to reappear as both doors swung wide!

“You said it didn't open.” I observed, giving him a severe look.

“Well...” He rolled his eyes away and gave an apologetic cough, “You put my back up with your reaction to Miss Hooves. I'm sorry now but even Timelords have feelings you know! Although...” He rolled his eyes away again, perhaps to keep me from seeing the impish gleam in them. “If you were to lose even more of your clothing it would enhance the shock and surprise value of our little visit, wouldn't it? But you'd already know that, having been on the testosterone side of the street for a while.”

“Stop trying to look innocent, Doc, it doesn't suit you!” I gave the little stallion just enough of a shove aside to let him know it wasn't funny, ducked my head, and went sideways through the blackout barrier. I straightened up immediately as I stepped into the brightly lit Control Room just in time to make a reflexive grab at a colorful something that sprang at my neck!

“Star-reee! Starry, Starry, Starry!” Not even Augmented reflexes could intercept an excited Fey! The little tyke slipped through my fingers like organic superlubricant and gave me a hug! “Looky look-look what Tardis made for Tyllae! Pretty, pretty, pretty! Keeps alla metal from hurting Tyllae ‘cause Tyllae is all in-soo-late-ed! Now Tyllae can come inside to visit!”

I stepped aside so the Doctor could enter, reaching for the exuberant elf. “I can't see a slagging thing with you so close, kiddo!” Just when I scooped the giggling mite up I noticed we weren't alone in the room. I froze in mid-motion when I caught sight of Ditzy standing by the hexagonal center console stretching out her wing to have it tended to by Sunny.

“Hay!” ...Was the only thing I could think of saying.

Sunny, with a loop of glittering bandage draped across one arm, was intent on playing a subdural protoplaser across the midsection of Ditzy's starboard wing. She gave me the barest glance by way of a greeting while she worked. She spared enough concentration, though, to reply.

“Tis dandelions on th' menu fer lunch. Haycakes were this mornin'. I can understand why ye didna remember ‘em since ye scarfed yers doon so fast. Two great bloody helpings! Struth! I've seen sharks wi' more restrained appetites!” She gave me a reproachful look before turning tender eyes to her patient, smoothing the soft gray feathers down and gently flexing the wing before releasing it. “There now! Ye should be right as rain, Dearie. Jus give it a few hours afore tryin' any aerial acrobatics n' suchlike!”

The little gray Pegasus stretched her wing experimentally and gave it a cross-eyed examination before unfurling the other one. She was airborne in a single flap, fluttering in place with a huge grin on her open face.

“Thanks, Doctor Cross! That feels great! Just in time, too!” She pivoted in one air and waved a hoof at me. “Hi, Captain Eyes!”

“Now now, Miss Doo!” The Doctor hustled in behind me, making a beeline for the console. “We're on a first-name basis after all!” He snapped a hoof down on a lever with a big, red knob on it and the doors swung shut behind me. He trotted over to the far side on the station, running businesslike eyes over the readouts. “The lovely Medical Officer is Sunny...” He trotted clockwise around the island, scrutinizing one segment at a time. “The Captain is Starry, Tyllae is, well, Tyllae... and we're all set to dematerialize! Good job, Miss Doo!” He paused just long enough to rub noses with Ditzy... who wriggled in mid-air like a puppy... before taking up a position in front of that archaic CRT display of his to throw a wooden-handled knife switch.

At once there came an almost subsonic, echoing, somehow muted 'boom'. The transparent column in the midst of the center console lit up and began surging up and down slowly. The glittering trio of golden horseshoes within in began to rotate around their common axis as the echo of that weird, scraping groan I heard outside the Cargo Bay made itself heard from all points of the compass. As I watched each horseshoe proceeded to spin on their individual axes at right angles to its neighbor. All three spun and flashed within the confines of the cylinder in perfect synchronization. When they came up to speed... I can't think of any other way to describe what happened next... they all somehow managed to turn in unison ninety degrees relative to their common rotation!

I had to look away, my Mare in my head turning off her displays and refusing to look at, for lack of a better term, a full-blown tesseract...four dimensions of spacetime made manifest in three! My stomach lurched and I fought down a wave of irrational panic while a wave of dizziness made me lean heavily on the console. I looked around, desperate to latch my gaze onto something that was stable in the three dimensions I'd grown up in.

My eyes wandered to Tyllae who giggled as she watched the things spin and whirl all over the laws of physics. She was clad hindquarters to head in a snug outfit like a set of footed pajamas made of a shimmering fabric like woven gemstones in swirls of pink and gold complete with a hood with wide eye hole leaving only her wings, tail, mane, and the soft end of her nose exposed. It would have looked a lot prettier if she hadn't chosen that moment to try and copy the motion of those impossible horseshoes. It was just a game to her!

“Whee!” She launched, somehow, into a forward spin, a portside tumble, and a yaw to a right angle to her previous directions all at once! I broke out into a cold sweat while breakfast tried to make a bid for freedom. I screwed my eyes shut and swallowed hard and almost didn't realize that my knees were buckling. The room grew dark around me as I thumped down on my backside, narrowly avoiding the breaking of my own tail by some minor miracle. I wanted to call out to Sunny, but it was taking all my concentration to ward off the waves of nausea and inexplicable panic.

I heard the Doctor say with unabashed self-satisfaction. “There! We are now outside Time. That should give us a little breathing space for us to plan our next move!” There came a short pause and I could imagine the cross look on his face. “… Don’t let’s everypony cheer at once!”

“I think Captain Starry is sick!” I heard Ditzy observe.

“What ails ye, Starry-love?” I felt Sunny touch my arm just as blessed relief from the tumbling confusion flowed through me. When I dared opened my eyes I found myself staring at Sunny through the opalescent veil of her healing magic. I resolutely turned my back to the center console and tried not to tremble as the world righted itself. I could still hear the Goddess-awful scraping screech that synchronized with the bobbing cylinder behind me though and the sound brought back the memory of the sight of those damn horseshoes tumbling impossibly into improbable dimensions and I reflexively screwed my eyes shut as the Mare in my Head blanked the playback on her screens and reset her systems.

“What?” The Doctor snorted, sounding affronted. I heard hoofsteps and when he spoke again his voice came from much nearer. “Oh, dear! Well, well, well! As I said earlier, that’s just a tribute to how her mind works isn’t it?” I couldn’t see it just then, but I could feel his smug, patronizing smirk!

“Wassa matter, Starry-Starry?” Tyllae settled on my shoulder and patted my mane with a tiny hoof. “Starry looky all froggy-green!”

“I’ll be all right… in a minute!” I slurred before putting everything I had into bracing against the floor and preparing to stand. I made it over Sunny’s clucking protests, but it felt like I was standing on a thin sheet of very flexible duraplast high on top of a scaffold of a space elevator tower in progress… during an earthquake! Breakfast wanted out again as I broke into another cold sweat. I swallowed hard enough to gulp down a photon grenade and tried to make it look like I was casually leaning against the console behind me instead of propping myself up on it. I opened my eyes and blinked, locking my gaze on the doorframe we’d just come through. The double doors were reassuringly stable and firmly fixed in space. I shook my head cautiously and tried to shake that subdued roaring out of my ears…

“I’ll be ok.” I said more firmly without giving Sunny the slightest clue that I wanted her to stop. “I just had a bad turn or something. It’s my first ride in a damn time machine is all!”

Behind me and off to the side I could hear the Doctor opening and shutting what sounded like cabinets.

“The thing I like best about travelling with Ponies,” He said casually. “Is that I get to see things that I’ve never seen before. The Captain gets high marks for her self-diagnosis! She’s exhibiting all the classic signs of a condition I’ve never encountered before outside of the TARDIS manuals. She’d never have made it on Gallopfrey, I’m afraid. She’s time-sick! Some Ponies… or other beings… are unable to subconsciously tolerate the TARDIS’s translation into other dimensions. Their minds rebel against the irrationality of the situation and take it out on their bodies! It most commonly happens to beings with a highly developed and entrenched world-view that happens to be coupled to higher than average latent psychic abilities. I’m curious, Starry. Have you ever taken a … now what do they call it in this day and age… a Rhine test?” I heard him open a final cabinet with a satisfied sound. “Here we are! I knew I had a bottle knocking around somewhere!”

“Ye mean an ESP evaluation?” Sunny said, edging closer to offer me something to lean on. “There was some noise about yon before th’ Eugenics Wars but I’ve heard naught in decades about any serious research. Though th’ Vulcan laddies have been keen on finding out the psychic potential o’ Ponies for years. Seems they’re awash wi’ th’ ability by all accounts. I was informally tested back in Med School. …N’ by ‘tested’ I mean a bunch of us got together in th’ Dorm with a deck o’ cards wi’ stars n’ wavy lines n’ suchlike symbols and had a go at tryin’ t’ guess what card th’ dealer was a-holdin’. We were doin’ a wee bit o’ drinkin’ while we were at it, mind you! More of a game than a serious test, ye ken. Anyroad, nopony took down results!”

I had to swallow again before I could speak. “Starting next year Starfleet Academy will be testing the esper ratings of its cadets as part of its curriculum… at the behest of the Vulcans, I might add. I always figured I had the psychic potential of a cracked geode. I can’t predict lotteries or move an ore cart by concentrating on it much less setting things or people on fire or hearing pony’s thoughts or anything like that!” I made a motion to Sunny to have her stop her healing. I thought that, now that I was prepared for it, I’d be all right. She gave me a skeptical look but stopped anyway. I sagged against her despite my best intentions. Hoo-buck!

I ignored her reproachful look as the Doctor trotted up with a long-necked bottle filled with an oily, electric-green liquid gripped in his mouth.

“Ere oo go!” He said as best as he could. I took the thing out of his mouth delicately and eyed the contents dubiously. The Doctor worked his tongue around in his mouth.

“Hmm, a bit of residue on the neck of the bottle... Oh, what memories that taste brings back! The last time I drank this was in the company of a delightful young lady, a courtesan of the court of Albraxis the Forty-third of The Mingian Drift.” He gave me a little poke with a forehoof. “Charming young thing, extraordinarily talented in the arts of… of…” The Doctor trailed off as Ditzy fluttered down to hover next to him with her errant eye firmly targeted on his face beneath a cocked brow.
The Timelord glanced at me for help but I wasn’t in the mood. He thought fast and cleared his throat.

“Cooking! She was quite the accomplished chef. Specialized in desserts as I recall. You know, cakes, pies, candies, all sorts of sweets and gooey goodies.” He smiled a weak and faltering smile at the blonde-and-dove gray Pegasus who only scowled at him.

“Aye, I’m sure she made a grand sort o’ tart!” Sunny sniffed. “Th’ hussy sounds t’ be eminently qualified!”

“Yeah, Doctor.” Ditzy said in a dangerous tone. “Tell us about how much you loved eating her ‘goodies’!”

I shifted my grip to hold the bottle by its base and eyed the slender neck and its rounded stopper askance. “…What the hell did you two do with this bottle, anyway?”

But the Doctor managed to regroup in that brief instant. “The drink is called Janx Spirit and it has the unintentional property of deadening psychic abilities in most species.” He said in his best lecturing voice, turning toward me and away from two pairs of accusing eyes. “It is instrumental in several telekinetic drinking games in dozens of star systems.” He shot a virtuous glance at Ditzy. “It also figures into several dessert recipes, I might add! Had quite a snappy advertising jingle associated with it as I recall… A mouthful or maybe two, given your robust physique, should set you up right as rain in no time.” He sat back on his haunches and looked steadily into Ditzy’s eyes, adjusting his red bow tie with both forehooves. Then his eyes widened and his expression froze suddenly and he gave a sort of strangled squeak…

“Oh dear! Forgot all about the broken tail. Ouch.” He said calmly. “If we’re quite done with the incriminating innuendoes I wonder if I could avail myself of your medical expertise, Sunny-my-dear, hard to concentrate with this going on, you know.” He hopped up and presented his injured extremity to Sunny who paused in her recriminations to blink in surprise.

“How in th’ name o’ wonder did ye manage t’ do that? Looks like ye had it crimped in a bloody hydraulic press!” Her professional instincts took over as she gently lifted it with the aura of her horn, concentrating as the spell revealed the details of the damage. “Ye’ve three breaks in a span o’ six inches, fer all love!”

“Doctor!” All of Ditzy’s burgeoning anger melted away into sympathy as she repositioned herself to survey the scene. Tyllae zipped around and took it in from several angles.

“Oooh! All crinkly-crinked! Tyllae can help!” She reared up in midair and quivered her wings, conjuring a little pink aura of her own that sought to insinuate itself between Sunny’s and the Doctor’s tail.

“I’ve got it, ye wee ambulance chaser!” Sunny waved the Fey away. “Tis no brain surgery, ye ken!”

“Aww! Sunny-Sunny doesn’t let Tyllae have any fun! Tyllae just wants to help. Tyllae knows what its like to breaka taily-bones. Tyllae hada tail caught inna mousie-trap once an it hurt!”

“That’s what ye get fer poachin’ th’ cheese! Now hush n’ gi’ me a minute t’ set this right, ye prattlin’ pooka!”

“Tyllae wassint stealing the cheese! Tyllae was taking it to give to poor, starving mousie who wasn’t hurting anypony. Nope, nope, nope!” The little Fey retorted. “And who Sunny calling a stoopid pooka? Tyllae issa Faery, not some stoopid magic Bunny! Stop calling poor, helpful Tyllae names like pixie anna pooka!” She stuck her tongue out at Sunny, her aura darting away to settle into Sunny’s mane… which promptly turned a mottled green and purple. Ditzy blinked, both eyes coming into focus out of sheer shock while I held my breath. The Doctor arched his eyes and murmured.

“Oh dear!”

“Now dinna be a sissy! I’ve given ye a proper arcane topical anesthetic. You’ll no feel a thing but a wee tug while I set th’ bones. A quick spell t’ mend things n’ ye’ll be just fine!” Sunny grumped. “Stallions ’re th’ biggest foals when it comes t’ bein’ hurt!”

“I’ll just look over here for a while then if you don’t mind.” The Doctor turned away to study the sedately bobbing cylinder of the center console. I almost looked myself, but stopped just in time. Instead, I popped the stopper of the bottle and took a quick swig. Compared to some of the Engine Room hooch I’ve sampled over the years it wasn’t so bad… even though it tasted like olives and cough syrup! The burning path it traced down my throat certainly took my mind off my other problems!

“Suit yerself!” Sunny shrugged. “Tis no even a compound fracture, though it must’ve hurt like fury! How ever did it happen?”

I was able to breathe by then, the Janx broiling my stomach like a hoof-full of sub-critical fissionables. I displayed the fingers of my free hoof. “It happened when the ship decelerated after we jumped in on the Werewolf. Must have been the same time Ditzy got hurt. The Doctor was airborne and heading face first into the Main Viewer. I grabbed what I could when he went sailing by. Like I told him before, considering where I grabbed him it could have been a lot worse!” Before I could stop myself, I giggled! I blinked in surprise at the funny bottle in my hoof as a warm blanket of wooziness settled over me. The dizziness and sense of panic collapsed like a warp field transitioning into realspace. Not bad stuff, it was no uskebaugh but still… not bad!

“Oh it’ll rot my brain and drive me insane. Won’t you give me just one more of that Ol’ Janx Spirit?” The Doctor singsonged to himself. He rolled his eyes my way and explained. “That’s part of the jingle. Just remembered it… Oy! Steady on!” He looked back at Sunny in alarm as she set the bones in his tail with a series of pops and crackles.

“Oh, hush yer gob ‘r I’ll let Ms. Ham-hoof have another grab at ye! If she nabbed ye at a different angle ye’d be a-singin’ soprano fer sure! ‘Hero o’ Time n’ Space’, forsooth!” Sunny muttered, intent on her task. “Struth! All that macho behavior goes right out th’ bloody window at th’ least wee ailment!”

Ditzy, her good eye on the Doctor’s tail… I guess… and her wandering one on Sunny’s mane giggled. I wondered exactly which thing she found amusing. I shrugged and took another belt just before Sunny snagged the bottle away.

“N’ that enough fer ye! Look at yerself! Pie-eyed already!” My Love gave me a severe look as she silently demanded the stopper. She paused to take a sniff of the contents and pulled a disapproving face. She treated the Doctor to a withering glare.

“I’m not pie-eyed!” I declared through a warm haze. “That’s just my natural…” I fumbled for the proper word until I was struck by a sudden inspiration. “… Soulful expression!”

“Sunny’s being a big ol’ grouchy-grouch!” Tyllae scolded from her perch on my head. “Starry jussa little tippy-tipsy is all!”
The Doctor cleared his throat diplomatically and glanced at the archaic timepiece strapped to his foreleg. “Starry will be fine in a few moments. What you’re interpreting as intoxication is just the Janx hitting her system. As soon as she reaches equilibrium she’ll be just fine, I assure you. Shouldn’t take but half a minute or so.”

Sunny whirled on the Doctor. “N’ I’m assurin’ ye that yon Filly has blood like mountain spring water! No tolerance whatsoever! She’s three sheets t’ wind already! Hark at her gigglin’ like a bloody Loon!”

Okay, I was giggling but it was only because she looked so much like her Dad when he starts throwing his titled weight around. But he’s older and better at it! The Mare in my head, to make her look more convincing, cut and pasted Amber Rose’s double chin-lock onto her face and gave her bushier eyebrows before running the image up on her Main Viewer. It was hilarious!
I stood up straight and made a serious effort to look super-sober, an effort that was spoiled by the first words out of my mouth!

“Oh balls, Sunny! Oops!” A tiny whee of laughter more suitable to a Fey escaped my lips before I regained my composure as she lifted a vindicated eyebrow at the sheepish Timelord. “Ahem! I’m stober as a sone, shober as a tone!” I took a deep breath and focused with all my Augmented might. “I’m fine …’cept my tongue feels kinda numb… an’ it’s kinda hard to focus… an’ there’s a ringing in my damn ears!” I couldn’t help giggling again. “Reminds me of our last night on Equestris Station! Remember? We got that bottle of alien brandy and Tyllae spent the night with Xantippe and you tried on that outfit I got for you! Wow! You looked hotter than the Molten River during a solar flare…!”

“Five… four… three… two… one!” The Doctor counted the seconds off against his watch and made a Grand Gesture toward me when he was done, looking smug.

And, just like that, everything snapped into crystal-clear focus precisely as if my nervous system had rebooted… which it apparently had! It was like one of those nightmares when you’re in front of the pickup about to present a lesson only to realize you aren’t wearing a jumpsuit. All the boozy camaraderie fell off me like electrostatically-repelled dust from a mine suit and left me with a hollow shell of an affectionate leer twisting my muzzle as it finally registered with me that there were other ponies in the room beside Sunny and Tyllae! I’ve felt more foolish on more that one occasion in my life but I would have been hard put to remember a specific occasion just then. The Mare In My Head sat bolt upright in her seat and slapped the kill switch to my larynx and initiated mortification protocols!

“Er, um…” I stammered as my muzzle flushed and my ears fell flat. Sunny shut me up with a finger laid to the end of my nose and peered intently into my wide eyes.

“Bloody Hell! I would’ve sworn she was bloody crocked, if me ol’ Dad is any comparison!”

“I’m not one who likes to say ‘I told you so!’…” The Doctor began, only to be cut off by Ditzy Do silently rolling her eyes, one out of sync with the other! He cleared his throat quietly and changed the topic.

“If she had taken much more you would have been correct. As it is she’ll have to take a little nip every hour, just a little taste should suffice. Just a couple of tablespoons worth should do it. Strictly for medicinal purposes, you understand!”

“Aye, ‘tis what me ol’ Dad always says about his uskebaugh!” Sunny snorted.

“Never stopped you from taking the occasional belt!” I grumbled, folding my hands behind my back and coming as close to parade rest as my dignity would allow.

“I ken when t’ quit, unlike some Pony I could be mentionin’! Drinkin’ tis a relaxation n’ no some bloody contest against meself t’ see how much I can hold!” Sunny replied primly. “Th’ trouble wi’ yon Equestrins is that everythin’ t’ them is some sort o’ personal challenge! Drives th’ whole lot o’ them batty if they feel they fell short!”

“If we’re going to descend into racial stereotypes…” I said, giving her a warning look. “I might be tempted to make some observations concerning the shallow and frivolous characteristics inherent to some Terrestrial Alicorns, particularly their nihilistic obsession with eccentric behavior at the expense of productive activity.” I said in my best Vulcan tones, staring straight ahead at a point on the far wall. Ok, I was feeling snarky. Truth be told, I was feeling a little bit hung over already and not at all in the mood for any more nonsense especially at my expense!

“Oh, dinna be a-throwin’ yer Command weight around!” Sunny glared at me. “There’s more n’ enough o’ it… Command n’ actual… t’ do somepony a mischief no matter how roomy ‘tis in here!”
That barb sank home with an almost audible thud and shattered my defensive composure more completely than a Roamulan Plasma Charge!

“Then you do think I’m fat, don’t you?” I asked, stricken.

Sunny turned her back to me just far enough to look at me out of the corner of one eye and crossed her arms defensively. “N’ ye think I’m naught but a spoiled airhead! Just try n’ deny it!”

“Hay! Wassa matter? Stoppit, stoppit, stoppit!” Tyllae entered the verbal fray, hopping from my head to Sunny’s landing with all four hooves in order to get our attention!

“She started it!” The two of us chorused, pointing at one another. “No I didn’t! You did!”
Neither of us ever came closer to being hexed by a Faery in our lives, if Tyllae’s resolute expression was any indication. Before she could screw up the resolve to do it, though, the Control Room of the TARDIS resonated with the shrill, trilling bleat of a referee’s whistle!

I clapped my hooves over my ears, wondering if this was how the Diamond Dogs felt when I pulled my desperate stunt. Sunny winced and did the same, her eyes wide with shock while Tyllae soundlessly yeeked and blinked away to the safety of my blouse to use my anatomy as an improvised set of earmuffs! Sunny and I turned to face the source of the noise.
The Doctor, with a shiny, tin whistle gripped in his mouth, gave us both a stern look. He quickly dipped his head into the nearest pocket of his suit and spat the whistle back where he got it.

“That’s it! Both of you, especially you, Starry, look at me. Don’t look at each other! Concentrate on me!” He locked eyes with me and weaved his head around, making me follow the motion.

“That’s it!” He encouraged. “Lock onto me and pay strict attention… or you’ll both get a red card!” He flashed us both a frankly horsey smile!

“Now that I have your attention I just want to point out, before things get out of, ah, hoof that you are experiencing a quaint side effect of the Janx Spirit! It’s quite fascinating, actually! Not my idea of a recreational tipple, but ‘to each their own’, I always say! Personally I prefer a nice cup of tea with just a little lemon… and a blueberry muffin on the side with fresh butter. We’ll have to scare some up once I get done here. I could do with a bit of a snack!”

“Ye ken…” Sunny rubbed her ears and gave the Timelord a withering glance. “Once upon a time Ponies made a bloody industry out o’ suing Doctors fer malpractice!”

“Well we’re living in much more enlightened times now aren’t we?” The Doctor dismissed the comment with a smug smile and came over to where I stood, craning his neck to keep his eyes locked onto mine. “As I was saying the Janx has suppressed Starry’s latent active telepathic tendencies but has left her empathic functions intact or perhaps, just perhaps, maybe even amplified them a little if I don’t miss my guess. That is to say she’s no longer capable of higher telepathic functions but she’s still emoting, if you take my meaning. And, due to your already being in sync with her emotions, you’re picking up on it!” He pointed to Sunny triumphantly.

“I ken th’ difference atween telepathy n’ empathy, ye addle-pated twit!” Sunny snapped at him.

“Exactly! Just like that!” He cocked his head and peered intently at me. “It’s all tied up with her Augmented metabolism, you see! The alcohol hit her system faster and harder due to her higher metabolic rate. It’s also being purged from her system at an equally accelerated pace. And what happens after one goes on a minor bender…?”

“I get a headache from when some Pony starts blowing whistles.” I stated, suppressing an urge to rub my aching head. “Ok, I get it. I’m hung over! But what crawled up her…?” The realization struck home and I closed my eyes and sighed. “Sunny’s picking up on my, um, malaise on a subliminal level, isn’t she?”

“Precisely! There’s a lot more going on inside your head than you suspected, isn’t there?” He peered up into my eyes, first the right one then the left. “Must be crowded in there! I wonder if even you realize it.” The Mare In My Head ducked back and forth out of his line of sight, trying to stay hidden.

I waved him off irritably. “Stop that already! What do you think you’re looking for? Miniature Ponies looking out the windows of my eyes?”

“You might be surprised how often one runs into them…” The Doctor murmured, dodging around my hand trying to take my eyes by surprise.

Tyllae squirmed her way up to hang out of my ripped collar. “Only one Pony inna there anyway, Doctor! Poor itty-bitty Cappy Pony that Starry doesn’t listen to alla time!” The little fink giggled as I shoved her back down into my blouse like Amber Rose tamping an unruly wad of tobacco down his pipe.

“Do tell?” The Doctor drew back and cocked an eye at me shrewdly. “Well your mind works in truly interesting ways, doesn’t it? It goes a long way toward explaining why you are so important at this juncture in History!”
I blinked. “I what now?”

The Doctor’s only answer was to trot off to retrieve the Janx bottle. He picked it up delicately in his mouth by its long neck and returned to stand in front of me expectantly.

“Can’ awk ow. Eye outh eh foo!”

I took the thing from him, cupping my hoof around the bottom and scrupulously avoiding the area he carried it by. I fully intended to demand an explanation of his remark but he started talking as soon as his mouth was freed up.

“Just a sip or two ought to do it. A little venom from the manticore that bit you as they say… or something along those lines! Just enough to stave off your psychic hangover and no more, you’ll have to be clear- headed for what we’re about to do after all!” He beamed at me and urged me to take another drink with one hoof, completely ignoring the look I threw his way.
I gave up and yanked the stopper out with an audible ‘pop’, tilting the bottle up just enough to wet my tongue and fill my sinuses once again with the flavor of olives and cough syrup. I had to admit that, as alien booze went, the stuff wasn’t half bad after a while. It was certainly more palatable than some of the stuff Sunny had me try back on Earth. That Tequila from Mustangna we had back in Mexicolt took five years off my life with one sip!
Timelord inspired placebo effect or no, my burgeoning headache faded almost immediately. I rammed the stopper back home and looked around for a place to put the bottle. The idea of putting volatile spirits on a console of exotic electronics seemed to be an open invitation to disaster so I just jammed the thing into the left pocket of my slacks.

“Just fer th’ record.” Sunny cleared her throat pointedly. “I dinna believe that hangovers’re transmitted tele-bloody-pathically no matter who brews th’ liquor. I’m perfectly capable o’ bein’ a bloody bitch wi’out anypony’s help, thank you very much!” I kept My Big Mouth Shut and prepared to do the best thing I could in this sort of situation.

“Look, Sunny, I’m sorry for saying…”

“Oh bugger it!” She waved me off. “I’ve no been at me best these last few mornin’s n’ yon’s a fact. A matter o’ female plumbin’ I wilna get into wi’ mixed company. Gi’ me a few days n’ I’ll be back to me regular Sunny self. No harm done n’ no ill feelins’.” She sidled a bit closer to me and took one of my hooves. “Yer no fat n’ yer no sort o’ tyrant. I’m just a wee bit overwrought ‘tis all!” She gave my hoof a squeeze and treated me to a blast from her lovely, improbable eyes… something I’ve always been a sucker for… and I let the matter drop.
Tyllae, though, had other ideas. She squirmed her way up once again and pointed an elfin hoof at Sunny.

“Hay! Thassa fibby-fib! Tyllae thinks Sunny should tell Starry the truth! Tyllae has been very, very, very good and kept Tyllae’s mouth all shut jussa like Sunny asked ever since Tyllae noticed. Starry gonna notice sooner or later so howcome Sunny not tell? Wassa matter? Tyllae thinks everypony would be happy as Spring to hear! Phooey! Big Ponies all loco inna coco!” The little tyke crossed her forelegs and turned her back to Sunny.

“Hush yer gob, ye wee blabbermouth! There’s a time n’ place fer everything and this is no it!”

“Thassa buncha stinky-bugs! Starry gonna be doing something very, very, very dangerous! Faeries know alla bout Outsiders like Thooly-Doodle, yep, yep, yep! Strange Magic sometimes get lost anna come down outa Stars. Not bad, ekzackly, just way, way, way too different from what Big Ponies unnerstand. Faeries kept Big Ponies away until there were too few Faeries an way too many curious Big Ponies for poor Faeries! Big Ponies get all messed up by Outsiders every time. Tyllae gonna help, yep, yep, yep! Doctor an Starry gonna need Faery help with Thooly-Doodle!”

“Whoa, back it up, Squirt!” I plucked the little Fey out of her hiding place and put her in my palm so I could look at her with a little more of what passes for dignity within the confines of the TARDIS. “First of all, you’re not packing a full load of Faery firepower these days. From what the Doctor is saying I don’t know just what you think you can do against this… thing! Don’t swing a pick at more than you can dig kiddo! You’re as brave as they come but you’re way out of your league when it comes to these ‘Elder Gods’. …And what’s this about Sunny?”

But Tyllae was not to be distracted. “No, no, no!” She shook her tiny head until her antenna whipped back and forth! “Big Ponies alla time think Big Ponies can make Outsiders behave! Big Ponies just not grown enough to have that kinda strength, nope, nope, nope! Big Ponies think Big Ponies can just trot up and wake Old Sleeping Things up and give orders. Nuh-uh! All Big Ponies can do is get caught up inna edges of Old Ones’ Dreams but thassa nuff to get all crispy-crisped like poor moths inna bonfire. Very, very, very bad! Big Pony brains cracka up lika old, dead leaves an poor bodies get all twisted up when they get caught up inna Old Thing’s dream. Big Ponies very, very, very clever but sometimes too fulla own cleverness an thassa fack! Big Ponies onna Her-mees think Tyllae jussa silly little bug ‘cause Tyllae talks funny to Big Pony ears but Tyllae doesn’t mind! Faeries smart fromma long, long, long way back. Faeries don’t build star-shippies or have anny-matter but Faeries been doing Magic long, long, long before there were Ponies. Very ,very ,very old an deep ,deep ,deep Magic that not even Celestia an Luna know! Clean alla big Pony brains outa ears an lissen to Tyllae!” The little tyke, antenna quivering, hopped up and down on my palm in frustration.

The Doctor chose that moment to intercede. He cleared his throat diplomatically and spoke in a calm, reasonable voice.

“Ahem! Now while I can’t claim to be any sort of expert on Things Magical…”

“Hoots!” Sunny stage-whispered to Ditzy. “Write that in yer Diary, Dearie! Yon Doctor’s admittin’ there’s summat he knows naught about!” The grey Pegasus only smiled a soft, secret smile at the stallion from Gallopfrey.

“I didn’t say I didn’t know anything about it!” The Timelord cocked an irritated eye at Sunny. “Magic is a Science that I am, at this phase of my long life, not as conversant with as I am in the Physical Sciences. I do however have sufficient working knowledge of its basics to know that we lack the sheer Arcane power to take on an Elder God! The technology of the TARDIS should give us ample protection…”

“Fooey!” Tyllae stuck her tongue out at the Doctor. “Dokker hasn’t lived as long as Faeries! Alla years of Dokker’s life jussa little pile of mousie-poop nex to Tyllae an Tyllae’s family almosta old as the World! Just like Tyllae said, Big Ponies too fulla self alla time!”

“Now see here my little Fey!” The Doctor regarded her sternly, for all the world like a Captain dressing down a cheeky Ensign on the Bridge of his own ship. “I am very over one thousand years old and I spent the vast majority of that time dealing with more Alien species that you could shake your little pink tail at! As a member or a species that has travelled all of Time from one end to the other I know whereof I speak!”

Tyllae’s prefaced her rebuttal with a very wet raspberry that carried all the way to where the Doctor stood, if his sudden blinking and shaking of his head were any indication! The Mare In My Head cheered the little Fey on though I kept a carefully neutral expression.

“Wassa thousand years? Tyllae has flea-bities ten times older! Fooey! Timelords not so smart! Timelords needa build all kinds of TARDIS to go zippety-zip through Time an poke noses inna what not ready to know yet. Tell Tyllae what good came of alla fancy making an doing. Tyllae knows when Tyllae talks with Dokker. Tyllae sees! Timelords so very smart an great! Where Timelords now, Dokker? Tyllae knows! Tell Starry an Sunny an Ditzy whahappen to Great an Powerful Timelords! How many left?”

The Doctor went very still and a veil seemed to drop over his eyes. What looked out of them was something aloof and terribly alone. He didn’t quite flinch before he asked softly, “And where are the Wise and Wonderful Faeries?”

“Safe onna Other Side!” Tyllae snapped back immediately. “Almost every little one… for now. Future not done yet. Faeries not so silly as to say what is an what must like all of Everything gotta do like what too-proud Timelords say! Faeries passed outa this world into nex one an wait. Timelords all dead, dead, dead forever with nothing left! Faeries stayed Home an tried to do good by alla peoples there. Timelords wanted to make alla worlds do what Timelords said should do when Timelords wanted. Who wiser, Dokker?” Was it a habit we had gotten into or was it some design of the Fey that made us tend to regard her as silly and flighty? I paused to wonder as she regarded the Timelord with a sad regalness that she wore like a badge in memory of her kind. For his part, the Doctor held her gaze with a sad defiance. Perhaps he, too, was honoring a memory of a person… or a place… or a people. For a brief instant something like a terrible guilt flashed across his eyes before the shields slammed down. After a thousand years there must be many things, given the life he’d chosen, he chose to suppress. I often wondered about the things Sunny and her Dad saw in the long journey of their lives. The hints and occasional comments they both made on occasion made me curious. On Equestris we mind our own business. Whatever he did in the past the Doctor offered to help us now and that was good enough for me. …Though I wondered about what Tyllae was privy to. I had just cleared my throat to say something to deflect the course of the conversation when Ditzy spoke up, making an effort to fix the Fey with both her golden eyes.

“That was mean, Tyllae. I didn’t think you could be that way. The Doctor told me what happened to Gallopfrey and I don’t care. He’s the most wonderful Pony who ever lived!”

Tyllae dropped her gaze and just about wilted under the eyes of the gentle Pegasus. “Tyllae is not trying to be mean but Tyllae sees what Tyllae sees when the Dokker talks… and summa what Tyllae sees is scary! Tyllae is scared of an for the Dokker. Dokker walks onna thin edge, sometimes onna Light side, sometimes onna Dark. When onna Light side Dokker is as wonderful as Celestia but, when walking inna Dark, Dokker is scarier than Nightmare Moon. The scariest thing is… that the Dokker chooses where Dokker walks. Tyllae hopes the Dokker will stay onna side of Light forever. But the Dokker sometimes feel old an tired, Tyllae knows! Really, really, really! Wanna help an do good but sometimes is too, too, too much. Sometimes the Dark is too big. Even a little Faery like poor, poor, poor Tyllae gets sad. But Tyllae has Tyllae’s nice, nice, nice friends around alla time. Tyllae does Tyllae’s best not to let the Dark scare Tyllae’s friends. Yep, yep, yep! Tyllae last little Faery an Faeries help Big Ponies no matter how big an scary the Dark gets! The Dokker has Ditzy. Issa same thing! Tyllae knows, Tyllae sees!” With that she launched her little self into the air to hover in front of the Timelord’s muzzle. She laid her cheek against his nose and stroked it with a tiny hoof.

“Tyllae only said what Tyllae said ‘cause Tyllae loves the Dokker. But Timelords aren’t Faeries, nope, nope, nope! Tyllae knows what Dokker does issa big, big, big thing anna years pile up on poor, poor, poor Dokker like snow onna pine tree. But a tree is jussa tree an’ can’t hold up alla snow inn whole world by poor, tired self. Trees know better than to try, but Big Ponies…” Tyllae shook her little head and looked at each of us in turn before continuing. “Big Ponies need help no matter what Big Ponies think! No more Faeries, no more Celestia, no more Luna. Poor Big Ponies alla lone with nothing but Science an bravery to hold back the dark.” She sighed and flitted up to perch in my mane like an exotic flower.
Sunny took my hoof and gave it a squeeze and Ditzy moved over to nuzzle the Doctor.

“We’ve a wee bit more thin Science t’ get us by, ‘n case ye didna notice! Not all o’ us ‘r content wi’ their computers n’ suchlike.” Sunny gave me a little poke in the ribs.

“We’ve always got each other… and muffins!” Ditzy said brightly. “Muffins make everything better! Let’s make some, I’m hungry and I think we could all use a snack.” Her muddled marigold eyes beamed at all of us before returning to the Timelord. “What do you say, Doctor?”

The Doctor did not reply immediately, he was far, far away from us at that moment. He stirred and looked at Ditzy, blinking. At first his eyes were flat and cool, still focused inward upon something we were never made privy to. They lit up, the warmth and life flooding back in from somewhere he shut them away at times like that, and he smiled a smile aimed just at Ditzy.

“I think that is a simply smashing idea, Miss Doo. Do we have any blueberries left, I wonder? And tea! I could do with a really good cup of tea just now. I have some particularly good Darjeeling grown on a world in the Nebu Cluster you might appreciate, Sunny, since you’re a denizen of Bittain… Bittain still exists at this point, doesn’t it? Oh, well, it doesn’t matter. It’s still very good tea. Let’s get the good china out while we’re at it since we have guests. We’ll make it a proper tea party!”

I felt rather than saw Tyllae nod thoughtfully.

“Big Ponies got thissa much from Faeries, at least!” She giggled.

“Now wait one rock-rubbing minute!” I protested. “We’ve got time for muffins?”

The Doctor paused just long enough to rub noses with Ditzy before springing away like a manic puppet!
“Madam!” He fixed me with a severe look before attending to various controls on the TARDIS’s main console. “We are in the TARDIS and we have all the time in the worlds! Well… maybe not all the time, but we can spare an hour or so of relevant continuum for the sake of preparation without stressing things too much!” He’d completed his circuit of the TARDIS control island and skipped his way to the upper deck surrounding it, his mind sprinting along as quickly as his voice. He stopped dead, suddenly, remembering we were there no doubt.

“I’ll be back in a tick! There might be a thing or two knocking about in one of the storage rooms that just might give us the edge we need to send our mutual problem back to R’lyeh for a good, long nap! Miss Doo, why don’t you take our friends down to one of the kitchens and see to those muffins? I’m famished! If you don’t want muffins there’s any number of things to eat. Custard is good! Custard and fish-fingers! Sounds a bit off-putting but just give it a try, I speak from personal experience! It’s all a matter of finding the right cupboard in the right kitchen!” He lurched into motion again, tossing comments over alternating shoulders as he took the last few steps toward the door.

“Stay close to Miss Doo! Don’t wander off too far! All corridors lead to the Control Room but some corridors take a more roundabout route than others. It’s all safe, well, mostly safe… fairly safe, anyway. Tell you what…if it moves toward you, well, run away! I’ll sort it out later! Let’s meet in the Garden, we’ll have a picnic! Toodle-loo!” He trotted through the door and was gone.

“Bye-bye, Dokker!” Tyllae trilled and waved a forehoof. Ditzy smiled a peculiar sort of smile, the kind that was sort of like a relief valve for all the affection she obviously felt. The alternative was to burst into sheer radiant joy and splatter innocent bystanders with unsolicited mushiness. The same sort of look Sunny says I give her when I think she isn’t looking. Alicorns!
Sunny sealed up her medikit and slung the strap over her shoulder. “Sounds like we just got our marchin’ orders then. We’d best be off! Truth be told, I could do wi’ a wee bit o’ summat t’ settle me stomach. All this bleedin’ dodgin’ about in starships like they’re bleedin’ fighter planes’d be enough t’ put anypony off their bleedin’ feed!” She paused in her grousing to fish a compact from her pocket and flipped it open like a Starfleet comm with a practiced flick of her wrist to expose the mirror.

“… Sure n’ I’m certain t’ be lookin’ like a bleedin’ train wreck…” She muttered as she took stock of her locks. She froze, except for her wrist which twitched frantically as she took in the entirety of her new mane colors.
I flattened my ears out of reflex, preparing for the screech while the Mare in my Head hit the Red Alert button and braced for the explosion. Ditzy held her breath and managed to bring both eyes to bear in widened anticipation while Tyllae took refuge behind my mane. The little so-and-so, feeling a little bit guilty by then, peeked out.

“Welllll… Shouldn’t have called Tyllae names, nope, nope, nope!” She quavered.
I shifted into peacekeeper mode. Sunny doesn’t have a violent bone in her body but she does have temper that would make a Tellarite beam in admiration. Her storms never last very long, to be sure, but she can be a (Self-professed!) awful bitch while they last. The trick is to distract her by making her listen, if not to reason then to just babble. As long as I was doing the distracting there was a chance she’d listen. Still… I’d rather face a Tellarite Grievance Committee!

“Now, Sunny, I’m sure it’s not permanent! Tyllae’ll make it right and she’ll even apologize. Won’t you, kid?” I said, quickly and with pointed emphasis to the wannabe mane-stylist cowering behind my ear.

“Uh-huh! Tyllae is very, very, very sorry!” The little Fey chimed in dutifully, nodding emphatically enough to make my ear twitch. I experienced a wave of gratitude for Faery discretion that lasted for one tenth of a second until she added.

“… But shouldn’t call Tyllae names! Tyllae does not call Sunny bad names! Nope, nope, nope! Alla time pick, pick, pick on poor little Tyllae who only tries to help!” The Mare in My Head facehoofed while I stifled an urge to swat my mane.

“Damn it, Tyllae!” I figured I had to act fast and dramatically if this was going to end quickly. “If you want to help, stick a few more control rods in instead of yanking them out! Fix her mane already and say you’re sorry with no conditions or no muffins for… hey!”

For Sunny, instead of rounding on the two of us in fashion-offended indignation, rolled her lovely eyes up into the top of their orbits and collapsed backwards!

I caught her before she fell six inches, her compact clattered to the deck and I kicked it out of the way as I lowered her dreadfully limp body onto her back. My mind raced and I forced my heart not to follow suit as I felt for her pulse behind her ear. She wasn’t fevered, but there was an element of dampness there and on her forehead as well. Her pulse was steady enough and she seemed to be breathing all right so what the Hell was going on…?

The scandalously low, by Equestrin standards, neckline of her blouse was no impediment to her breathing and I knew for a fact that the eschewed a bra that day. I didn’t have any concerns for her respiration as far as her clothing was concerned. I turned her head to one side lest she should vomit and choke before I tore open her medikit to retrieve her Medical tricorder. Ditzy darted out of my field of vision for an instant and returned dragging an incredibly long scarf; the damn thing had to be fourteen feet long if it was an Equestrin inch and was banded in muted shades of brown, tan, and red. With a dexterity I wouldn’t have thought possible for a Pony without hands, she folded upon itself seven or eight times into a hefty pad with plenty left over and slid it under Sunny as I paused to gently lift her head.

“Thanks, Ditzy!” I spared a moment to pour all my gratitude into my eyes before hurrying back to business. “Does this thing have a Sickbay?”

The blonde Pegasus looked doubtful. “There’s an Emergency Room and an Operating Room, is that close enough?”

I nodded quickly as I broke out the tricorder. “Works for me! Just let me find out if it’s safe to move her…”

“What’s wrong with her? She was fine when she was fixing me up. I didn’t do anything, I promise!” The way she said that last bit made me look at her. She looked back at me with out-of-sync marigold eyes that so trembled with self-recrimination that I had to pause. She dropped her gaze to the deck next to Sunny’s head.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that back Home in Ponyville… in my time… if something broke or something happened to somepony when I was around it was usually my fault.” She swallowed. “Or at least they said it was.” There was just enough defiance in those last words to make me feel proud of her. Equestris wasn’t built on a roll-over-and-take-it attitude and we don’t have any patience with anybody who wallows in self-pity. Fiddling with the equipment kept me from saying something kindly just then.
The tricorder was made, of course, for a Terrestrial Pony; a too-tiny box with itty-bitty buttons and a remote sensor that was like a thimble in my hooves. I bobbled the thing and almost crushed it as I kept it from dropping.

“Luna damn it!” I snarled.

“Here, let me.” Ditzy reached up with her head and delicately removed the stylus attached to the side of the thing with her teeth. She transferred it to the bottom of her upraised left forehoof and held it up expectantly.
“Ok. Now what do I press to turn it on?”

I didn’t really have time to but I gaped anyway!

“… How in Badlantis are you even holding that thing?”

“What?” She blinked and looked at the stylus in her hoof like she was doing it wrong or something. “I’m just holding it. It’s not much smaller than a pencil, after all! You should have seen the Doctor when he first came to Ponyville! He still holds things in his mouth, but he’s getting better with practice.” She dimpled a smile at me.
I had to shake my head. “For being a so-called Derp, you’re head’s on tighter than mine! I should have seen the stylus. I guess I’d never make it in Ponyville, either!”

“It’s not the mistakes you make; it’s what you learn from them. The Doctor taught me that.”

“Well… he knows a good Pony when he sees one, doesn’t he?”

She blushed but was cut short from making a self-deprecating comment by our favorite Fey who chose that moment to flit up between Sunny and the tricorder.

“Starry doesn’t need that thing, nope, nope, nope! Sunny ok! Jussa needa little air!” She proceeded to hover solicitously in front of Sunny’s muzzle and fanned her face with her wings.

“Look, Squirt, malpractice on your own time!” I made a shooing motion with my sensor-bearing hoof and held it over my Darling. “Just press that one on your left, Ditz! …Your other left! That’s got it!” The Feinberger whirred to life in my fingers and I waved it from Sunny’s head down to her navel twice, letting it gather information on all her major organs while Ditzy waited intently with the stylus.

“Ok. Hit that one to display the results… now touch the top one in the subwindow to compare to Alicorn baseline readings. Green for Earth Ponies, Blue for Pegasai, Yellow for Unicorns, White for Alicorns, hit that one.”

“What’s the red one for? It says ‘Xeno’.”

“Aliens. Hitting that will open another window to give you more baseline readings to compare to. …Here we go… Ok, heart rate and respiration normal, blood pressure ok, no abnormal brain activity, Kirlian and Arcane Aura normal… so what the Hell is going on?” I frowned at the readouts. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Tyllae put a forehoof in her mouth and bite it, looking worried.

If I had a hoof free I would have snatched her out of the air and demanded an answer. As it was I speared her with my eyes. “Tyllae…?”

“Nuh-uh! Tyllae already inna ‘nuff trouble for today! Tyllae promised notta say a word, nope, nope, nope! Trust Tyllae! Sunny a-ok, Tyllae promises!” She sketched a little ‘x’ across her chest and looked so solemn that I was having a hard time being irritated with her.

“Hay!” Ditzy pointed with the stylus at the tiny screen. “It says her blood glucose levels are rising. But they’re rising back into the safe range… I think.”

I pulled the tricorder closer to my face. Sure enough, the readings were coming up from low normal as if they’d just dipped and were recovering. I squinted at the readouts. It didn’t make any sense! Sunny is an Alicorn! As far as I understood these things their inherent Magic keeps them healthy. There was no possible way she could be diabetic. The only way she could have a non-permanent low glucose levels would be if she were fasting. True, she hadn’t been eating breakfast for the past few days but she was just coming off her, ah, female cycle and she sometimes had a few digestive issues. She’d said something to that effect just before this happened…

On an impulse I had Ditzy call up readings on Sunny’s blood chemistry. There was only so much a tricorder could do with remote readings but I didn’t think the situation warranted my taking a blood sample to put in the analyzer compartment.

For an amateur, the little grey Pegasus didn’t do so bad. She only hit the wrong commands twice and dropped the stylus once, snatching it out of the air with her mouth with an apologetic look before getting back to work. The results didn’t make sense! I had her run the sequence again… and again.

Finally, “Ok. I can’t make sense of this! In the corner of the screen is an icon labeled ‘diagnose’. It’s for non-Medical Ponies like us to use in emergencies. We must be missing something the machine will catch.”

“I don’t know…” Ditzy looked up at me hesitantly. “I’m not a medical doctor, but from I’ve read… and I read a lot of stuff… it’s kinda obvious!”

I gave her a quizzical look. “It is?”

She shrugged her forequarters and wings and ran the diagnostic function. The tricorder whirred and beeped to itself.

“She has to be sick or injured somehow.” I protested. Ditzy rolled her eyes away and looked non-committal.

“What?” I demanded. The tricorder beeped that it had reached a conclusion but before I could consult the screen Sunny spoke up.

“‘Sick ‘r injured’ me hoof!” She groused quietly. “I’m pregnant, ye great lump!”

“What!?” My eyes flicked to Sunny, who raised herself onto her elbows with a sigh, then back to the screen. There, in glowing letters, “Diagnosis: Pregnancy < than 1st Trimester. Fetal Development 2.78%. Access Obstetric Database or consult Physician. Nearest Medical Facility is **Unknown Distance** away.”

Chapter Fifty-Three TARDIS Blues, Part Two

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

Tardis Blues: Part Two

“But… Sunny is right here!” Ditzy protested. “She’s a physician, isn’t she?”

Sunny propped herself up on one elbow and yawned. “Oh, yon machine is tryin’ t’ establish a link t’ nearest active Medical Facility. I ken ‘tis tryin’ t’ find me Sickbay.” She reached up and ran a hoof through her mane. She tugged a lock into visual range and fixed the little Fey with a stern look. “A-hem!”

“Tyllae fix! All oaky-dokey!” The little mite beamed and fluttered her wings, summoning a pink aura that flitted forth and settled onto my Darling’s mane. Just like that her golden curls were back looking, if at all possible, even more lustrous and full than ever!

Sunny squinted at the results and gave our Favorite Fey a warning look. “Now what’d ye do?”

“Tyllae did good! Tyllae is sorry to make Sunny feel bad so Tyllae gave Sunny mane lika Sunny a Faery! Don’ needa alla those bottles of silly mane soap, nope, nope, nope! Just wash off with water inna shower an be all pretty in no time at all every time, yep, yep, yep! Sunny gets to sleep little bit longer inna morning now! Tyllae did good! Not mad at poor, little Tyllae for being a grouchy-grouch now?” She flitted up to huggle Sunny’s nose. “Tyllae promises to watch Tyllae’s temper from now on, yep, yep, yep!”

Sunny fingered the lock she’d been looking at before running a cautious hoof through her mane, looking smugly pleased with the results.

“It really is beautiful!” Ditzy put in rather wistfully.

“Tyllae can help! Make do for Ditzy, too! Is jussa little spell. Tyllae can do faster than Tyllae can blinky-blink!” The little Fey fluttered her eyes almost faster than the eye could follow by way of illustration.

“It’s all right, Tyllae. The Doctor likes me fine just the way I am.”

“Well…” Sunny shook her head slightly, clearly enjoying the bounce and the way each separate curl waved and refused to tangle! “… It’s in me t’ ‘pologize mesel’! Ah ought not t’ve called ye names in first place. ‘Specially a-knowin’ how ye dinna like it.” She coughed delicately into one hoof. “ Ah’ve a wee tendency t’ havin’ a bit o’ a temper from time t’ time as ye may have noticed…” Out of the corner of my eye I saw her roll an eye at me, waiting for a snarky comment.

For I was running the Feinberger in a slow figure eight pattern low over Sunny’s abdomen with the utmost concentration using the lowest possible sensor strength with my eyes glued to the tiny display that told the tale of the precious miracle that lay before me…

It should have been the most obvious diagnosis, given what the tricorder was showing me, but I ran the scan again and again. Every time the thing showed me the results I started over. I could imagine the Mare In My Head frowning in irritation as she slapped the breaker in my cognitive functions back into position every time it tripped!

“… Ah’ll be thankin’ ye t’ no be bouncin’ sensor beams off our wee one.” She said with a hint of irritation. “I’m pregnant no matter how many times ye check…” She paused to fix me with one eye darkly, “Or is it that ye’re a hopin’ ‘tisn’t so?” She made as if to sit up and blanched as a wave of dizziness made her think twice about it!

Ditzy was there in an instant, kneeling behind Sunny and letting her rest against her body with her head snuggled in the soft, gray feathers of her wing.

“Starry! How could you?” The little Pegasus fixed me with one then, an instant later, both eyes accusingly. “It doesn’t matter who the Father is! Sunny needs your support right now!”

I snatched the Feinberger away so quickly that, this time, I did break it! I felt the casing give way in my fingers and I wrapped my fist around it so the loose components wouldn’t fall onto Sunny. Numbly, I poured the remains into the tiny bay that held the complete instrument and closed the tricorder with a snap, breaking that as well. Silently I regarded my hooves, trying to will them to behave as The Mare In My Head became disgusted and jammed a screwdriver into my mental circuit breaker to keep it from tripping yet again!

“A baby.” I stated in a small voice. I turned to look at Sunny like she’d just sprouted up from the deck. “You’re… having… a… baby…” The Mare In My Head gave me a quick slide show involving a crib, stacks of diapers, and a montage of cute little button-eyed foals beaming adoringly up at me just to drive the point home.

Everything snapped into focus in an instant, my mind shifting from glacial slowness to warp five and to Hell with the inertial compensators!

“You’re having a baby!” I said with a degree of maudlin sappiness that would shame the most inveterate soap-opera star! “A baby!”

“Put yer sunglasses on, Dearies!” Sunny murmured, snuggling into Ditzy’s wing. “Comprehension dawns!”

“Aww! Don’t maka fun of Starry! Starry been very, very, very busy an worried for alla Ponies onna Her-mees an everywhere!” Tyllae scolded, flitting up with the crumpled white paper bag the Doctor gave her clutched to her teeny chest. Luna knows where she keeps things like that but they always seem to be at hoof when she needs them!
She plopped the thing down where the low neckline of Sunny’s uniform made a convenient pocket and began rummaging the contents. She came up a pair of bright yellow confections in her hooves.

“Open wide, Sunny-Sunny! Number One Medical Assistant Tyllae knows jussa what Sunny needs right now. Candy makes everything better, yep, yep, yep! Trya the lemony ones, Sunny! Tyllae likes those… anna licorice anna cherry anna piney-apple, too!” She flipped the treats into Sunny’s obediently open mouth and busily began arranging an assortment of more to follow, laying out neat little piles sorted by color on her outfit. In just a few seconds her uniform had more color than a Starfleet Admirals!

“Mmm!” Sunny munched. “Pineapple, did ye say? Lob a few o’ yon this way! Ah can do wi’ a bit o’ a snack!”

Ditzy craned her neck around to look and held a hoof out.

“Are there any orange ones? I like those!”

“Yep, yep, yep! Lots an lots an lots! Tyllae will get!” The little mite snagged the rim of the bag with her teeth and fanned her wings, tugging backwards until the bag flopped over sideways with its mouth pointing back toward Sunny’s collarbone. Without missing a beat she leapt into the air and did a tight inverted loop whose terminus coincided with the opening of the little sack. Tyllae vanished completely though the bag was barely longer than her tiny self. I missed the performance. Orange candies began piling up on Sunny’s blouse. My mind was otherwise occupied!

“But, Sunny!” I blurted out. “How are you having a foal?”

“Hark at yon Science Officer!” Sunny dug Ditzy in the ribs with one elbow. “Biology ‘tisn’t her strong suit, innit? Struth! The smarter they get the dafter they become! I shudder t’ think o’ what they’re a-teachin’ colts in school these days! Ours’ll be home-schooled f’sure!”

Ditzy looked confused. “… I thought she was the Captain.”

“I’m quite well aware of the process, thank-you-very-much.” I said patiently, attempting to squelch the smirk on my Darling’s face. “It’s just that we, um…” The blush rising to my muzzle only egged Sunny on. “…Only, ah, ‘did it’ once. All the way, I mean.” I added hastily. “Full insertion, that is…” I trailed off, too embarrassed to continue and unable to look anypony in the eye just at that moment. …Sunny can be a real sadist at times!

“Ye dinna have t’ tell me, Ah was there!” She crowed! “But Ah dinna know ‘bout yon ‘full insertion’!” She turned to address Ditzy, one laughing eye catching mine as she did.

“Och! Ye should hae seen it!” She said confidentially to the confused Pegasus. “Big as a bloody cricket bat though maybe no as quite as thick. …Though ye couldna proved it by me at the moment! Ah’m a trooper, t’ be sure, but there was no way Ah could manage morena hoofspan o’ it. Ah still wince thinkin’ o’ yon! Ah made bloody sure Ah was on top ‘r she’d a split me in half when she…”

“Sunny!” I hissed.

“Oh, fie!” She patted me on the forearm, not even bothering to look my way as she continued. “We’re all girls here these days! Now as Ah was a-sayin’, if Ah had a been payin’ more attention durin’ Physics class back in th’ day Ah would’ve been a wee more conversant wi’ th’ concept o’ action n’ reaction. As ‘twas Ah was just about blown clean off th’ bleedin’ bed n’ across th’ room when she had her…ahem… climactic moment! If Ah didna spread me wings afore Ah got t’ far wall Ah shudder t’ think what would hae happened!”

“Damn it!” I protested, trying to look stern. “Now you’re just making stuff up! We get it already! We had unprotected, um…” I swallowed and met her eyes resolutely as I whispered the next word. “Sex once and once is all it takes…”

“Well all ye need is one egg n’ one sperm cell t’ do th’ job.” Sunny conceded. “But she was a-loaded fer bloody dragons wi’ a pair like bloody great grapefruits! Must’ve been a gallon in each o’ yon! N’ ye’d no believe how fast they recharged!” She confided to the goggling Ditzy.

“Made hell o’ a mess by th’ time t’was all over …Had t’ chuck th’ bedclothes afterwards, no hope o’ savin’ them, ye ken. ‘N we had a mort o’ cleanin’ o’ th’ walls n’ such as well, as Ah recall… N’ never mind th’ time Ah had t’ spend in shower! Lucky Ah got away wi’ me life!”

“You’re about two seconds away from the paddling of your life!” I growled as convincingly as I could. “I mean, really now! Taking a private and very personal moment like that and turning it into some sort of… of…” I fumbled for the words, my eyes growing hot and brimming. “…Ribald anecdote! Was it just a joke to you or something? Or don’t my feelings count as long as you can get a laugh at the expense the backwards Equestrin? Excuse me for being raised not to discuss intimate, personal business with complete strangers! Damnit, Sunny! Even if we get past that damned Thing on the Werewolf we still have to figure out how to survive Discord and his slagging Prism! We all could be dead before this is all over. You, me, Tyllae, the Crew, the Federation, everypony and everyone! Including our foal, Sunny! Our. Foal. It’s not a joke, Sunny. None of it is. Grow up…” I paused and caught her eyes. In a softer, yet bitter, voice I continued. “I was going to say, ‘For Luna’s sake’ but what would be the point? They abandoned us. The only reason They’re with us now is that we’re all screwed together and They need our help.” I was hurting and I wanted to pass it on, that’s my only excuse for saying what I did the way I did. Willowbark, Doctor Fisher, or even Sunny could point out any number of cogent psychological reasons for it. Sudden paternity, accumulated stress, the strain of Command, take your pick, throw The Mare In My Head in for good measure and all that you’d end up with in the end still would be just excuses. We’re hard on Equestris, but sometimes we’re brittle… some of us more than others.

Everypony has a point from which they have to pull back from and regroup. I’d just reached mine. You see, it’s one thing for a bunch of adults who signed on knowing the danger to risk their lives… or have it risked for them. It was quite another thing to put an unborn life on the line, especially one that I helped bring into being! The abstract concept of the teeming billions of innocent children whose lives hinged on what we did or failed to do didn’t prey on my mind because they were faceless abstracts. It’s horrible to admit but I could handle that. I could accept their risks. But now…

A single face kept coming to my minds eye. Its gender was ambiguous, but it was real because it was The One Special Foal that would come into this world or not because of what I did. Could I really accept the responsibilities of billions of strangers, be willing to gamble their existence but be unwilling to chance this one particular one? What made my foal more important than anypony else’s? What made theirs less important?

…And how did I come to end up making the decisions for them?

It was too much. Just. Too. Much. I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it! In that moment, I refused to do it.
I carefully put the tricorder down on the deck, ignoring the tears that fell upon it as I did so.

“I…” I choked. “I have to leave.”

I stood without feeling it and turned away. I heard paper rustle and could just imagine Tyllae poking her head out of the goody bag.

“Starry…?” I heard her say but I was already in motion.

In two strides I’d rounded the center console. Ahead of me lay the doorway out of the TARDIS and into the Hermes where decisions would have to be made…

I turned right instead and made for the door the Doctor took. Unlike the doors on the Hermes this one was a single panel that pulled away to the right as I approached.
I ducked low and passed through, not seeing anything in particular. I just had to move!
Sunny didn’t raise her voice but I heard her clearly.

“Oh, Starry..”

Chapter Fifty Four- A Momentary Lapse of Reason

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

A MOMENTARY LAPSE OF REASON

I broke into a trot, with my Equestrin physique that amounted to a flat-out run for Terrestrial Ponies. Even a Pegasus with a dive behind them would have been hard put to keep up with me. A Unicorn could teleport faster but I could cover an awful lot of ground in the time it would take to cast the spell and Luna help the one who tried to materialize directly in my path in an effort to stop me!

The Mare In My Head quietly tried to put on the brakes but I overrode her inputs every time. She tried to point out that I had no idea where I was going and that I was in unfamiliar territory but I told her what to do with her suggestions… after wrapping them in razor wire first! She replied with some choice retorts straight from the lowest levels of Equestrin Society complete with visual aids and threw herself back into her Command Chair and produced a padd to catch up on some reading. She pointedly swiveled her chair away from the Main Viewer and hunched her shoulders just to drive home the point that she could be just as stubborn as me. She made a gesture over her shoulder with one hoof and a single digit that effectively ended the discussion.

Out of sheer spite I killed the lights on the Bridge and left her fumbling to find the light on her padd in the dark, cursing in the dark!

Ok, it wasn’t my proudest moment… but I wasn’t much concerned with my pride just then. All I had was my grief and fear and the burning tears that I had to keep dashing from my eyes as I tried to run away.

To this day I have no clear recollection of the path I took or how long I ran. Eventually, though, I managed to notice some of the weirder aspects of the place I was running through.

I started down corridors that wouldn’t have been out of place on any ship of the Starfleet, or any good passenger liner for that matter. But at some point the neutral walls and hidden lighting gave way to other decors…

There were occasional frames in the corridors like the bulkheads in a ship where one would expect to find the housings for the doors that would seal a corridor in the event of an emergency. More often than not, in the TARDIS, these signaled a chance for a change in architecture.

I remember going down corridors lined with synthetic flooring and walls, not unlike those on the Hermes. I also remember times when my boots rang on metal decking, thumped hollowly on wooden planking, or slapped on stone. The lighting would change, ranging from hidden track to old-style fluorescent tubes, incandescent bulbs, floating glow-globes of various shades, even incredibly archaic oil lamps made of brass and smoky glass!

There were doors every so often. Modern sliding pocket-doors, metal panels, painted wood, even brass-bound timbers or planks with bright copper nails. Bright, worn copper door latches, stainless steel doorknobs or their crystal or plastic counterparts refused to catch my eye noncommittally as I passed. I didn’t care. I. Just. Didn’t. Care.

I ground to a halt eventually. I wasn’t tired, far from it. I was bursting with the need to do something but there just wasn’t any point any more in just running. I sank to my knees and hugged myself. I cried and, when that just wasn’t good enough, I screamed and beat on the floor. But the floor only mocked me silently. I snarled and looked around for something that would yield satisfying results. My hoof found the balephaser attached to the back of my trousers. I tore the thing clear and regarded it with mayhem on my mind.

The sarium krellide power cell in it contained enough energy to vaporize me and a hundred feet or so of the immediate landscape, the Balefire that remained would be my only tombstone. The energy density of the thing is truly frightening; the casing was about skin temperature, a tribute to the fantastic amount of power pent up inside it. The tiniest crack in the insulation would set off the equivalent of a one point five kiloton explosion right in my face. Balephasers are recharged via a high energy plasma tap routed from Engineering. An arc from a loose connection in the process can take out cubic yards of the Ship before the safeties killed the circuit as they engaged in less than a billionth of a second! Engineering and Security don’t get paid enough!

I’m Equestrin stupid, but I’m not Roamulan stupid! I carefully removed the powercell and slid it a discrete distance away. I gripped the tiny, lifeless remnant of the weapon as best I could with both hooves and wrenched will all my might. The thing popped and creaked as it bent and twisted in my grasp. The cylindrical forepart of the gun, the part that rotated to allow changes in the power settings, broke free of the rest with a snap into my right hoof leaving the ruined pistol grip in my left. Leftover components littered the floor in front of me as I flung both halves away. As I listened to the clattering impacts I became aware of a stinging in my left hoof. Looking there, I saw blood. The duraplastic housing had shattered and some stray shard, sharp as glass, slashed my palm and three fingers. The bleeding slowed and stopped even as I watched. Score one for Augment physiology! I wiped the blood off on the side of my trousers and encountered the bottle of Janx Spirit in my pocket.

I pulled the thing out carefully, grateful and a little amazed that it hadn’t broken by then. Obviously it was made of something sturdier than mere glass! I hefted it in my hoof and held it up to the light to study it with an Equestrin eye that was more familiar with exotic crystalline forms than the average Terrestrial Pony.

It felt cold to the touch and the surface was free of scratches or the blurring one could expect from mere reheated silica. I popped the stopper, made from the same stuff, and tapped the neck of the bottle with it. It chimed a soft, deep chime. Rock crystal, possibly a precious or semi-precious gemstone of some sort I wasn’t familiar with…

The area of the TARDIS I was in just then was walled in stone blocks, gray in color. Dressed but not polished, the stone was rough to the touch and the blocks were set without mortar. I couldn’t identify the type of stone. The ceiling was apparently slabs of the same stuff, darker in hue. The floor was paved with hexagonal flags of something dark like polished basalt. This section of the place was lit by short sections of cylindrical crystals held in brass brackets high up on the wall opposite me every twenty feet or so. They gleamed with cold yellow light faintly tinged with orange; call it about forty watts apiece. Dimmer than the corridors of the Hermes but just about as bright as the sections of the Mines of Equestris I labored in when I was younger.

I held the bottle up until it was between me and the nearest light fixture. No refraction or distortion, only the faintest prismatic effect as the light flowed through the smooth edges of the thing. Quite a neat piece of work!

Maybe it was the pain, maybe it was the primal satisfaction gained from the gratuitous destruction of over fifteen thousand credits worth of equipment… the dilithium chips in balephasers are expensive… but my useless anger had drained away leaving only the echoing void of despair and uncertainty in my heart. I grinned a grim grin as I tried to convince myself that this was an improvement.

I looked around at my surroundings. I usually have an eidetic memory but my grief and heartache had kept me from paying attention to precisely which turnings and twistings I had taken to get to my present locale. I was lost and alone in the labyrinth of a time travelling, extra-dimensional construct built by an enigmatic alien species belonging to a self-professed madpony and his sweet natured, autistic sidekick. To make matters worse I had gotten myself lost, running away blindly from the prospect of my responsibilities. I sighed and sagged back against the wall. …So much for the advantages of being a genetically ‘superior’ breed, I could just imagine the Eugenics Council back Home shaking their heads. In the pre-Federation days my personal DNA would be reevaluated in an effort to weed out whatever imperfection brought me to this state. I’d probably be sterilized. Maybe Daddy would be, too. Certainly my entire bloodline would come under intense scrutiny. I was already a Tier Four Citizen, existing on probationary status until I could demonstrate that I could be of some viable use to the Colony. I was a borderline dwarf, my body being just above an arbitrarily acceptable minimum height that would just allow me to operate equipment designed for my more Optimal kinsponies. My sexual preference was for my own gender and I’d already eschewed the idea of being a broodmare for excess sperm and ova from more ‘gifted’ Equestrins. Performing manual labor in exchange for a higher education was my only hope of proving my worth. If my genes were declared defective the only alternative was the Soylent Tanks. In the eyes of the Council there was no gain in feeding useless mouth, at least my biomass would serve some useful purpose.

Is it any wonder that I jumped at the chance when the Federation called for volunteers to fight the Roamulans? It was my chance to show all of them that I was worth keeping, that I was an asset and not a liability. I didn’t do so badly after all. I survived the War… a lot of other Ponies didn’t… and I made the rank of Commander in Starfleet to boot. Hell! Nowadays they call me Captain, not too shabby for a Mare from the Colonies!

But I could just imagine the Council’s reaction. It’s easy to shine, I’m sure they’d point out the fact, when you keep the company of non-Augments. I’m supposed to be better by my very nature. It’s what I was bred to be. That was the whole point of Augmentation, remember? Or was I too inherently inferior to feel the pride of my ancestry? Too many of them say that I live with suboptimals just so I could feel superior to somepony, to be the big nugget in the pile of gravel for a change. I’m only in Starfleet for the sake of stroking my poor little ego that I choose to live in a society steeped with Magic because I need all the help I can get. They would point out, in any event, that I only got the Captain job over the dead body of my friend. I didn’t make it on my natural talents; I was just next in line for the position. It was given to me by a quirk of Federation bureaucracy.

The smell of olives and cough syrup wasn’t an attractive distraction but it was a more appealing prospect than my dark musings just then. I contemplated the bottle I held in my hoof and shook it a little, setting the electric green fluid within it dancing in the weak light. I raised the thing in a silent salute to the Federation that gave me the chance to become something better and took a drink.

I gasped and coughed. My eyes watered as my sinuses and palate seethed with, well, green! The color of the trees and grass back on Earth, the waters of Equestris, and the fur of the exotic dancers from the Orion system in that bar on Wiggley’s Pleasure Planet…

I blinked and shook my head, eyeing the bottle askance. I put the stopper back in firmly and rose to my hooves with just a little bit of swaying. I paused and took a deep breath that made the green fumes swirl in my nasal cavities. I wiped my eyes and stuck the thing back in my pocket resolutely.

I might not be the most Optimal daughter of Equestris or the most dutiful granddaughter of Earth. I don’t make any claims to being the best or brightest anything of the Federation. I’m just a Pony with no wings or horns or any sort of Magic in my genome that can be scientifically quantified (If that is even possible, semantically speaking!) Maybe I don’t measure up to their exacting standards but I sure as Hell didn’t need to resort to a bottle to cope with my inadequacies! Take that, Equestris! And a little gesture as old as Equine middle digits for the Council for good measure!

On the subject of Magic, they teach us on Equestris … and the Vulcan Science Academy agrees… that ‘Magic’ is nothing more than raw psi, Metaphysics rather than hocus-pocus. Pegasai flight is a result of a psionically-created inertial dampening field. Telekinesis is obviously the result of manipulating local Spacetime, the same goes for teleportation. A Science based on a different set of physical laws that at present defies conventional qualification. The latest theories postulate an ability to manipulate energy at the sub-quantum level via an act of will. It amounts to nothing less than changing reality. Think of it in relation to the ways the forces of electricity and magnetism were perceived before the Industrial Revolution and it falls into place. An author of the early twentieth century, I think his name was Clerke… Carte… something like that. He was quoted as saying that ‘Any sufficiently advanced technology would be indistinguishable from Magic.’ Any Pony from the Paleopony Period would swear that each and every one of us in the present were Sorcerers of the highest caliber! Even the abilities that Tyllae exhibited aren’t so farfetched when you consider her as a member of a fantastically advanced species. After all the gulf between the Paleopony Period and us is less than an eye blink in the history of her people. What is incomprehensible ‘Magic’ to us is as natural to her as being able to do simple arithmetic in our heads is to us.

Like Hindstein said, it’s all relative. If we keep calm and look at things logically, like the Vulcans, we’d be better off. The Vulcans have been around for a long time so there has to be something to what they say…

I paused to look around me and frowned. The Vulcan Science Academy also proved, mathematically, that Time Travel is categorically impossible. It would be interesting to see how Sekkack would take the news of the TARDIS. Would the Academy be as hidebound as the Council of Equestris or would they be willing to admit that they were wrong about something? The peril of associating with Aliens, it seems, is that they can point out things about your culture that you take for granted… like the unshakeable faith in ones people’s infallible correctness and the intolerance of others ideas. The idea that the culture one was bred in is the only one with the correct grasp of what is Right and Good is something that every intelligent species seem to share with one another. Hell, even the Vulcans hint at a dark, savage past in their histories. Something that made Khan look like a fumbling piker. Now there’s a frightening thought!

The Augments had a dream of the Perfect World once upon a time, one which they refused to compromise on. They tried to cram it down everypony else’s throats… a process that ultimately killed sixty percent of the Earth’s population. Before that the Rushins and the Neighmaricans were locked in a war of ideologies that held the world hostage for decades. And before that, the Germanes tried the same thing with less finesse… twice… as the ghosts of Neighpoleon and the Roaman Emperors looked on approvingly.

A cynical observer of Pony nature… like, oh I don’t know, maybe a certain group of voluntary exiles residing a marginally livable world twenty-odd light years away for instance… would be tempted to point out that it is an inherent flaw in the species that allows it to follow the drumbeat of a single leaders ideal vision time and again to catastrophe, allowing superstition and intolerance to override their better instincts. They might be right in their conclusions… except that, in every case, something better arose from the ashes. The Mater of Roam, the Prench Republic, the Neighmarican Democracy, the League of Pastures, the United Pastures, and, finally, The United Federation of Pastures. All of these represent a step up toward a Better Ideal indicating that, for all its other faults, the species has a Potential… a potential that the Tellarites, the Andorians and even the staid and sometimes stodgy Vulcans recognized. The Roamulans and the Klingons realized it and fought against it, the former unsuccessfully and the latter gamely holding out on matters of principle apparently. One wonders if that means there’s hope for the Klingons. After all, they’ve avoided all out war against the Federation… so far. They might be militaristic and barbaric by our standards but they certainly aren’t stupid. Insensate animals don’t build starships. Time will tell, I suppose.

So there I stood, heiress of twenty-three centuries of Pony civilization. Feeling very much a living metaphor of my species I paused and gathered my thoughts after my emotional meltdown.

How could I carry out the mission I’d set myself on if it meant risking the life of the foal I helped bring into the world? Would the defeat of Discord be worth his or her existence? How could I make that decision?

The answer came to me. If I ran, turned the Ship back to safety and fobbed the responsibility off onto somepony else I could buy us time, years maybe even decades, depending on the whims of the insane Lord of Chaos and his Prism. He would come to take his irrational vengeance as sure as crystals grow in a rock farm. It was just a matter of when. Time would only make Him stronger as he sowed the Chaos across the Galaxy that would ultimately weaken the Federation beyond the point of being able to fight back.

One day I would have to face my child and answer the question of why I didn’t go forward when I had the chance. Our child would be the best of both us… and could I bear to see the disappointment in those eyes when I told the tale about how I lost my nerve? That I chose to watch my child’s life be cut short just for the selfish sake of having him or her with me for a little while living under a cloud of doom rather than taking this one best chance to make sure everypony’s foal could grow up safe and secure? I wanted our foal to be proud of me… I owed him or her that much at least. I’d do my damndest to make sure Sunny survived even if I didn’t. A lot of Ponies died for less noble causes.

There! The decision was made at last. I wasn’t the hardest tool in the box but I could still make the cut to my own satisfaction and I’d stack the results up against anypony else’s proudly. The Mare In My Head nodded approvingly and I welcomed her back, arranging for a nice little bouquet of daffodils to show there were no hard feelings. She waved me off as she took a nibble and shrugged as I wondered just which way I should go to rejoin the others.

The balephaser wreckage was behind me therefore I had to come from that direction. It was a good an attempt as any toward retracing my steps. I started off, a little unsteadily thanks to the Janx, (Sunny’s right, I’m no sort of drinker!) and nearly fell over when the lights went out.

Slagging Hell! Now what?

Author's Note

I'll admit that I'm just pulling the stats for the potential energy in the sarium krellide powercell out of thin air. I seem to remember from the STAR TREK roleplaying game that the type II phaser on overload would destroy everything in a 150' radius. That's a 300' complete kill zone... a lot of potential destruction riding on one's hip without even a holster! It goes a long way toward explaining Captain Kirks anxiety in regards to getting the overloaded phaser out of his room in The Conscience of the King. Remember how that one phaser literally rocked the ship when it was jettisoned? E-gad!

The (Bale)phaser that Starry so gleefully tore up, for the sake of TREK purists, is the model carried by Captain Pike in the days of The Menagerie with the big, cylindrical barrel and the heavier pistol grip. I'm imagining the powercell resided in the pistol grip like the magazine of a contemporary automatic pistol. Standard issue for his time but cutting edge new technology for hers!

CHAPTER FIFTY FIVE- The Company of K-9

CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

The Company of K-9

Again, it might have been the Janx, but when the lights faltered and I stopped dead in my tracks I had a sudden flashback to one of Sunny’s endless collection of 2-D ‘movies’. In this case it was a Bittish film by Hammer Studios from the mid-twentieth century entitled Five Million Years to Equestria. A technician working in an underground environment grumbles when the lights went out for him. “Where was Luna when the loights went out? …In th’ flippin’ dark, Mate!”

I shook myself as the Mare In My Head raised an eyebrow at the memory and began to run a discrete systems check on my motor functions. She tsked at the readouts but didn’t say a word. I ignored her when two things became apparent. The first thing I realized was that there was something under my right hoof, something that didn’t crunch into progressively smaller fragments under my weight. The other thing was that I could see!

My night vision is, of course, superior to that of a Terrestrial Earth Pony. On Equestris we see about twenty percent deeper into the red end of the spectrum than our unmodified siblings. (When I revealed that fact during Basic Training the Eye Doctor who examined me…a Cobalt Pegasus with a rainbow colored mane and tail… in an effort to appear unflappable in the presence of an Augment no doubt, quickly pointed out that Terrestrial Pony vision was ‘Twenty percent cooler!’ than Equestrin vision. I let the matter drop and proceeded to pass the exam with flying colors.) I was surprised to notice that there was light streaming out from behind me. I turned my head to confirm the phenomena. Sure enough the lights behind me, in the direction I was going, were still lit but the lights in the places I’d just been were out.

I was didn’t understand just what kept the lights, in all their variety, going much less what kind of malfunction it would take to knock them out. The Doctor said that he was a thousand years old, if the TARDIS was at least as old as he was I could see how a certain amount of degradation would be present in the system. The Timelord seemed to be a whiz at patching things together at a moments notice. If his ship was falling apart around his little ears I could see how he kept in practice. I remembered the odds and ends that adorned the Console in the Control Room with a sudden sense of alarm! I was feeling a whole lot less that safe wandering around lost in this self-professed Madpony’s mobile labyrinth.

I shifted my weight and bent to retrieve the thing under my boot. My fingers wrapped around the ever-so-faintly warm sarium krellide powercell. It would take more than a quarter-ton of stumbling Equestrin to breach the casing… thank goodness… but it just seemed unnecessarily careless to let the thing just lie there. I stuck it in my pocket along with the Janx bottle. After a moment I transferred it to the opposite pocket. Two potential disasters in contact with each other were more of a risk than I cared to take just then!

I took a breath and turned about, heading for the lights before me. I could still smell the Alien booze in my sinuses. My head swam and I reached out with one hoof to steady myself against the wall. It took more concentration than I would have like to keep myself going in a straight line. Touching the wall as I went helped and I was glad Sunny wasn’t around to see me; she’d have a field day!

Once I’d built up my momentum it was easier going. The only time I faltered was when I passed my first light fixture. The very moment it dropped behind me it went out, just like that. When I turned to look the thing had faded from dull red into blackness.

I was ready for the next one. As I came up on it I turned to keep it in sight as I went by, doing a slow and rather unsteady pirouette in the process. The instant the center of my mass progressed past it the damn thing dimmed and faded away like the scented oil lamps in our honeymoon cottage did when Sunny turned them down ‘way back on distant Earth that night we were married and she pushed my Augment physiology to its limit…

I realized I was blushing as I made an effort to keep focused on the situation. Ok, it wasn’t some sort of malfunction in the lighting system. I was being guided… or herded. In my slightly pickled frame of mind just then, the idea the idea made me angry. I picked up speed, setting my jaw and striding down the corridor. I fended myself off the wall only about every third step and resolutely ignored the occasional doors. No more distractions! I wanted to get over to the Werewolf and get this job done one way or another and get on with our mission. I wanted to get my Ship back Home intact. I wanted to get back to honest exploration and the more or less anticipatable hazards of the job. I wanted to wrangle with Starfleet Bureaucracy instead of ancient insanity. I wanted my Magic in manageable, scientifically quantifiable doses. I wanted my life back with Sunny, Tyllae, and our pending foal. And, if to achieve that, I had to shove that miserable Prism down Discord’s grinning throat, twist it ninety degrees and pull him inside out then so be it. I’d do it in a heartbeat and hope it hurt like Hell! He had it coming if only one thousandth of what I heard about him was true. He was irredeemable. Even if we were occasionally repentant it was never a permanent condition. If I had the chance, and I didn’t have to be a Timelord to see that events had conspired to put us in this place at this time, I’d gladly put the bastard down once and for all. No court in the Federation, the Orion Syndicates, or even the Klingon Empire would convict me. Celestia herself, if the tales were true, cut him some slack… once… and this is how he repaid that trust. If she had a problem with my resolve, well, she could take it up with me… if we ever got to meet face to face. Me, I’m just an Equestrin and we see things differently. We cull the insane back Home… and Discord was long, long overdue for culling.

Another TARDIS bulkhead occurred and I swerved my way through it. The corridor had changed again, becoming something more conventional to my way of thinking with a pale brown smooth composite floor that melded seamlessly with walls of the same stuff that narrowed slightly where they met the off-white ceiling. Narrow glowstrips ran along both sides where wall met ceiling, fading into darkness as I went along with murder in my heart and alien hooch in my veins.

The occasional doors had frames of dark brown, narrower at the tops than the bottoms, just like the corridor. They looked like pocket doors like the ones on the Hermes, only these opened side-by-side rather than the traditional up and down ones the Federation used. They were colored in muted brown, red, or green and were labeled in some sort of radial script like wheels that were connected to one another by fine straight lines like wheels that were connected to one another by fine straight lines like wheels that were connected to one another by fine straight lines like wheels that were connected to one another by fine straight lines like wheels that were connected to one another by fine straight lines. The effect reminded me of a child’s model of a molecule made of modeling clay representing atoms and dowels to represent the atomic bonds. I wondered if this was Gallopfreyan writing… why would the Doctor label his doors in any another language? Given the, um, eccentric nature of the Timelord, however, anything was possible!

I shook my head again against the insidious effects of the damn Janx and the Mare In My Head increased power to Life Support to purge the stuff from my system faster. I noticed I was developing a headache and a sour stomach. When I brought this up to her attention the little tyrant primly pointed out that I could expect nothing else from drinking any alien booze that came my way and rather pointedly suggested that I take my mind off it by getting back to the task at hoof. She even pulled up a display listing my priorities and ticked them off with a pointer one by one. Find a comm panel or something similar; failing that, find the Doctor, find Sunny, make plans, get over to the Werewolf, and… dusting off an hoary old Equestrin chestnut… Get The Job Done!

I suppressed an urge to put sneezing powder on her daffodils and concentrated on putting one hoof in front of the other in proper sequence. The corridor had begun to curve and I was determined not to go weaving from one wall to the other as I went.

A sudden noise from beyond the curve made me come to a sudden halt, planting my leading hoof hard and making me rock. I felt my ears poke up out of my mane as I blinked blearily.

Something… no, several somethings, were approaching making quiet whirring noises as they came on. They were low to the ground, whatever they were and were moving just about as fast as I was until a second ago. The Doctor’s warning to run if anything approached echoed in my brain… but just where was I supposed to go? I dropped into the best semblance of a combat stance as I could manage and waited…

A boxy thing, about the size of a suitcase, came into view. An automaton of some sort, not unlike the kind we send into damaged tunnels on Equestris to gauge the damage. Its main body was shaped something like a truncated pyramid with a flat top. The whole thing was a series of flat planes and angles made of some flat gray synthetic with dull bronze highlights and a little chrome highlighting. Affixed to the front on the end of a very short sort of a neck was a sensor cluster with a flat red optical input with a pair of glowing red photocells in it, two parabolic scanners were mounted on top and what I took to be some sort of sensor probe mounted at the very front. What made it truly unique, though, was the way the equipment was arranged. The housing was put together in such a way as to suggest a head. A distinctly canine head or at least a robots idea of what a canine head would look like. The parabolics were arranged on top where ears would be and the sensor probe was stuck onto an angular muzzle where the nose would be. The optical sensor was a red, rectangular plate where the eyes would be. A sort of high-tech pooch analogue wearing minimalist sunglasses. There were no legs, the thing rolled along on some sort of drive wheels or perhaps tracks concealed beneath it.

There was even a short tail sticking out the back end like an aerial as well as flat panel with push buttons mounted on the things back. On its flank it bore an identification designation. In quaint, old fashioned computer-esque script it bore the legend, ‘K-9.1’ in white.

A flash of color caught my attention. Around the things neck was a plastic collar. Its color scheme was reminiscent of the scarf I’d propped Sunny’s head up with back in the Control Room. Hanging off the collar was a circular tag, dove gray in color with seven silver bubbles on it.

It wasn’t alone. It was leading a small convoy of toy vehicles less than half its size consisting of a dump truck, a bulldozer, a mobile crane, and a small vacuum truck. Riding atop the cab of the dump truck was a tiny Smarty Pants doll with turquoise blue button eyes with a sappy grin stitched onto its muzzle. The sides of every little vehicle bore the logo of seven tiny bubbles.

Ditzy, apparently, had a lot of spare time on her hooves…

Just before the improbable troop drew abreast of me the dog-bot dipped its head in a nod. I jumped a little in surprise as it spoke in a chirpy, synthesized tenor voice.

“Good afternoon, Mistress.” It said, primly. Its eyes flashed as it enunciated each syllable.

The little parade swung wide of my position to hug the far wall as they passed. As they entered the darkened corridor behind me little headlamps flicked on and tiny tail lights dwindled into the gloom and disappeared…

I played the scene back through my memory a few times and compared notes with The Mare In My Head just to verify that it was real and not just some Janx-inspired hallucination. She thought the whole ‘K-9’ thing was hilarious, going so far as to bring up the words ‘K-9’ and ‘Canine’ on her display by way of illustration in case I didn’t get it. Sometimes I wonder about her…

My first inclination was to just bang my head against the wall a few times until it all made sense. After a moment, though, I just gave up and let the absurdity of it just happen. I smirked, then giggled, then propped myself against the wall and laughed quietly to myself until I had to wipe the tears from my eyes. I had to admit that it felt good.

I must have been at it for a while. In no time at all, it seemed, I saw tiny lights reappear in the darkened corridor. The convoy was back with the remains of my balephaser piled into the bed of the dump truck.

Dog-bot stopped as it reached me, elevating its tail as a signal to the vehicles behind it just like an old-style traffic cop directing traffic. It raised its head and turned it to regard me. The parabolic ‘ears’ traversed several times, doing a scan no doubt.

“Are you well, Mistress?” It asked.

I wiped my eyes a final time and made an effort to stand up straight.

“I’m fine, just fine.” I had to suppress another giggle.

The ear-antennae scanned again before it spoke.

“Your physiological condition contra-indicates that.” It stated helpfully. “Lachrymal discharge from the eyes of mammals is generally indicative of pain or emotional distress. The only other option available in my database is a reaction to extreme amusement. Which state describes your present situation?”

I blinked, frankly bemused!

“I’m actually feeling rather surreal, thank you for asking.”

“That is understandable.” It nodded its improbable head again, somehow displaying an unmistakable note of condescension I might add! “I am detecting the presence of a partially-filled bottle of volatile spirits on your person. According to my bio-scans it seems extremely likely you have consumed a portion of said spirits. Is this correct, Mistress?”

I looked away, embarrassed. “Well…just a couple of swallows for medicinal purposes, you understand. It seems that I’m prone to ‘Time-sickness’. And my name is Starry, Starry-Eyes, not ‘Mistress’.”

The head nodded again and the stiff little tail wagged twice with a faint whirring noise. I had the impression that the thing found me amusing.

“I am called K-9, Starry Eyes. I am pleased to meet you.” It… he… cocked his head as he looked up at me.

“Janx Spirit is eighty-nine point seven percent grain alcohol, nine percent water, and one percent vegetable extracts containing various psychoactive elements… as well as traces of fusel oil. My scans indicate that, despite your mass, you are a lightweight when it comes to consuming liquor.”

“Well, I’m not the most experienced drinker… Hay! What about my mass, pipsqueak?”

“Belligerence is a classic indication of inebriation in most lifeforms. You should not be wandering around the TARDIS in your condition, Starry-Eyes. Are you able to proceed or should I summon assistance? There is no motorized travel chair that can accommodate you but I can summon a small cargo handler with gravity-nullifying capability.” He paused, waggling his parabolics again. “Or perhaps two would be appropriate.”

“Keep it up, dog-boy, and you’ll need a few more dump trucks to haul your…” I stopped myself with an effort and took a deep breath before continuing. I gave the snarky little bot a hard look.

“You’re baiting me. Why?”

“I am merely stimulating the release of adrenaline to counteract the effects of inebriation.” Given the nature of his face, ‘deadpanning’ an expression should be his default expression… but this particular bots voice, despite the limits of its vocal synthesizer, got lots of mileage out of his ability to express emotions!

“Sure you are!” I admitted dryly, eyeing the little fink askance.

“One cannot argue with the results, can one?” The robotic head nodded. If K-9 could, I’m sure he would have been smirking!

I reigned myself in. There’s no point in being angry with a robot, right?

“Based on your vocabulary… at first…” I gave him a meaningful glare. “I would have pegged you for being programmed by Vulcans. But I daresay you have no idea who they are, don’t you?”

“The Vulcans are the two indigenous dominant species of Epsilon Eridani 2-A. The two species are the mammalian Sehlat and the reptiloid Le-Matya.” The little bot informed me. ‘Vulcan’ is the term coined by Terrestrial Ponies for their world since the Vulcan language is too difficult for the average Pony to comprehend. Their culture is notable for its complete devotion to the concepts of rational thinking and nonviolence as well as an almost complete suppression of emotions since these are perceived as obstacles to the achievement of Logic. Theirs is a world of scientists and scholars…”

“All right, all right!” I waved him off. “I’ll concede that your personality matrix is beyond even Vulcan cyber technology. Where were you constructed?”

“I am a collaborative effort of the Doctor and Mistress Ditzy-Doo, constructed from plans already existing in the Doctor’s database. I am an improved model of the original K-9 unit.” The red photocells locked onto me as the mechanical head turned to regard me. “Like you, I am an upgrade.” The parabolic ears waggled in a way that simply screamed impishness. “In my case, though, I am a much more successful upgrade than could be achieved by mere eugenics. You are a good effort nonetheless, given the nature of what your species have to work with. Perhaps in a few more generations your people will be almost at my level of perfection.”

If I still had my tricorder I’m sure the smugness indicators would have been rocketing clear off the top of the scales!

“I’m glad you cleared that up.” I said frostily. “…My second choice would have been Tellarite.”

“The Tellarites are the inhabitants of 61 Cygni-IV.” K-9 promptly recited. “Theirs is a race of upright biped mammalians with a matriarchal society, the second species to join the Federation of Pastures after the Vulcans. They are known for the aggressive, chauvinistic attitude they display toward other species that is generally expressed as a perception of inherent, self-evident, unwarranted superiority.”

“Yes.” I conceded. “You can see how I could make that assumption.” K-9 lifted his head a little higher and was on the verge of saying something, if the sudden flash of those photocell eyes were any indication, but I didn’t give the little so-and-so the chance. “You’re exceptionally well informed, especially given that neither you nor the Doctor aren’t native to our little portion of reality.”

The dog-bot adjusted his position, doing a three-point turn to face me straight on before he spoke.

“And what brings you to that conclusion, Mistress?” He asked curiously.

“Deductive reasoning based upon all the data available to me.” I began, getting an inordinate amount of pleasure in confounding the little know-it-all. “Granted, the Federation is only a small part of this Galaxy but it contains dozens of intelligent species. If there were a race of Time-travelling superbeings somehow in charge of keeping History on track they would have left a trace in somepony’s mythology. Given the premise that History is subject to being altered by malevolent forces these interventions cannot go unnoticed. Somepony somewhere would have noticed and documented such extraordinary events. There are gods and demigods aplenty in Alien folklore but definitely no ‘Timelords’!”

K-9 digested this for a moment then, “The process of correcting the Timeline would, of itself, make such beings inherently unknowable would it not? In essence there would be no problem in the first place and no reason, therefore, to take note.”

I leveled a forefinger at him. “You’re talking of a classic paradox. Can an error that never existed still be called an error? You’re indulging in semantics and not provable scientific data.”

“And yet here you stand in the TARDIS, Mistress Starry-Eyes. A functioning Time and Space craft at present in a state of Temporal flux relative to the Universe.”

“Which proves my point!” I waved an unsteady arm at our surroundings. “The Doctor, the TARDIS, and you have to come from somewhere else. You’re new to our Universe. You must be from someplace… some reality… that shares many characteristics with our own.” I frowned. “Which does not explain just how you could have amassed such detailed information about our reality… or are there Vulcans and Tellarites and Ponies where you come from?”

“None whatsoever. However, Earth is a very important world. Its History is intimately tied up with that of many other worlds. The Doctor has dedicated himself to protecting it for reasons of his own. Your Earth occupies a similar situation in this particular reality. Though the dominant species there is a sort of evolved hairless primate referred to as a ‘Human’.”

That rang a bell from somewhere! I’d heard that term before, but the source data was simply too ridiculous to believe.

“Wait! A Hoo-min being?”

“It’s pronounced ‘Hue-man’.” The little bot corrected.

“But that’s just silly! It’s right up there with Bighoof, Merponies, and little almond-eyed grey ponies in flying saucers kidnapping people for anal probes!” I protested. “That’s delusion, not data. Sensationalism and not Science…”

“…Alliteration and not analysis!” K-9 put in.

“Whatever!” I snapped. “You’re equating rank publicity-seeking on the part of individuals with a desire for notoriety with concrete fact…!” I paused, an idea making its way upstream against the Janx.

“But if two realities were so closely tied, so similar in so many ways…” I shook my head in an effort to clear away some of the electric green fumes. “…The Doctor said something earlier about multiple Universes like progressively dimmer shadows of a primary source.” I took a deep breath and collected myself. “It’s an improvable concept, just a conjecture made in an effort to reconcile aspects of current Physics with observable phenomena. Like the extra dimensions needed in String Theory back in the Twentieth Century. …If I wasn’t drunk this wouldn’t make so much sense!”

“If I may be so bold…” K-9 said, as gently as his synthesized voice could, “You are basing your worldview upon empirical data. You are correct as far as your ability to perceive allows you to be. You lack, however, the ability to take in the larger picture. The Doctor is able to do so. It is simply a matter of having access to the properly advanced technology. At one point in history electricity, magnetism, and subspace were phenomena that were perceived but not understood until the technology existed to quantify their properties.”

“All of which is to say that we, as a species, will understand it all when we’re older!” I said, impatiently. “You’ll forgive me if I’m not content to get a metaphorical pat on the head and be told it will all make sense in the end. I need answers not platitudes, damnit!”

“My information comes from the Doctor’s database. The Doctor receives his information from the Vortex. The Vortex is a Temporal Singularity in which all of Time exists at once. The Doctor is able to look into the Vortex and extract the information he needs. The process is invariably fatal to non-Timelords and extremely difficult even for him. Is that simple enough for you, Mistress?”

I sighed and gave the little bot a dirty look. “Simple enough, yes, satisfying enough, no… but it’s all I’m about to get, isn’t it?”

“That is correct, Mistress.”

“…There’s a lot of the Doctor in you personality matrix, do you know that?”

“While Mistress Do assembled most of my hardware, the Doctor is responsible for much of my software. I like to think, however, that I remain my own distinct entity. I am more than the sum of my parts.” The little bot said with just enough smugness to make me wish for a large hammer and an even larger electromagnet!

“…You’re an exasperating little mutt, you know that?”

“Affirmative, Mistress!” The robotic tail wagged while the stylized head nodded.

“Oh, for Ponies sake…!” I took another breath and decided to let it go for the moment. “Just answer me this, okay? This other universe… the one with the ‘hue-mans’… how did he come to spend so much time there, and why? He would stick out like a dilithium crystal in a bucket of gravel. Hard to keep a low profile while being so obviously Alien!”

“The Doctor did not always look the way he does now.”

I blinked. “Excuse me? I don’t understand.”

K-9 did another three-point turn to face away from me.

“Please refer to the visual display on my back, Mistress.” Below the keypad was a flat screen that glowed to life. It began displaying a series of still images of… beings. Their skin was bare of fur, except for the tops of their heads. The stuff that grew there grew in a bizarre range of styles in a rather narrow range of colors from silver-white to shades of brown. It was the Pony in me, I guess, that expected a little more color in their palettes. The lack of a proper muzzle made them rather disquieting and I had to ramp up my scientific detachment just to look at them, but after a few moments I was able to appreciate them as actual faces of people with distinct personalities. Personalities, I might add, not unlike those of any other Pony I’d met, a strange blend of alien and familiar that went a long way toward making them more acceptable to my Equine perceptions. One in particular… the fourth one… caught my eye, he had a curly mop of hair that did its best to overwhelm a wide-brimmed hat, a nose that came closest to being a proper muzzle, and a wide, frankly horsey smile that somehow put me at ease. Around his neck were wound lengths of a multicolored fabric…

“Hay!” I blurted out. “I recognize that scarf! Wasn’t that in the…”

“The Timelords…” The little bot squelched the comment. “In this alternate reality come from a world called Gallifrey. They, like the Timelords of Gallopfrey, have practical immortality in that, when a given body dies it discorporates and then re-incorporates in a different form. Physical attributes as well as personalities change but the core memories remain intact. The process is called ‘Regeneration’ and only the complete destruction of the body will halt it.” The images kept playing across the screen. Nine more faces came and went before the screen went dark.

“That bow tie and the coat look an awful lot like…”

But K-9 interrupted me again, damnit!

“Compare those images with these, Mistress.”

A new sequence of faces played across the screen. This time, though, they were familiar-looking equine faces… direct analogs of the hominids I’d just seen, though in a more conventional color scheme to my admittedly biased point of view! Interestingly enough, the face of the Timelord I’d met, the last of this current series, wasn’t the same as the last ‘hue-man’ face of the other.

The screen went dark and K-9 trundled about to face me again. He waited in silence for the inevitable questions…

Questions I had aplenty, but which ones first?

“Are there two sets of Timelords in two universes, or is this Doctor the same person existing in…” I searched for a phrase. “… Two, ah, frames of reference? Did he begin as a Pony or a Hominid?”

“The Doctor does not like to admit it…” Was there a note of gloating in that electronic voice? “… But there are gaps in his knowledge he cannot resolve… yet. The inability to resolve the questions irks him.”

“So even he doesn’t know, eh?” I grunted. “…It makes him seem a little bit more like the rest of us, doesn’t it, bringing him down to a more-or-less Pony level?”

“Speak for yourself, Mistress!”

I stifled a chuckle, as well as an urge to scratch behind those parabolic ears. “The Doctor gets under your skin with his attitude at times too, doesn’t he? But you’re still his friend in the end, aren’t you? You’re a good dog, K-9.”

The ears did their waggling act again. “Yes, Mistress!”

“… As well as a modest one! Sheesh! You and he are more alike than you realize, I think.” I didn’t give the little bot time to dispute the statement. “In any event, what difference does it make whether Gallifrey or Gallopfrey came first? That’s something for the Doctor to figure out. I’ve got bigger, tentacled fish to fry right now. I’m grateful for his help, even though I’m only a minor interlude in his career…”

“More than minor it would seem.” The little bot interjected.

I believed I sobered up by two orders of magnitude at that point! I caught K-9’s glowing red eyes with my own.

“The Doctor alluded to something like that earlier. You wouldn’t care to fill me in on the particulars, would you?”

The little head elevated a little to regard me steadfastly. Somepony told me once that a dog could never win a staring contest with a Pony. I suppose it was foolish of me to even try, given the fact I was trying to stare down a robot. Yet it was K-9 who dropped his gaze, lowering his head to gaze at my knees.

“The TARDIS we are in is an older model. Outmoded by the standards of the day when the Doctor stole it and most definitely obsolete by the time of the destruction of Gallopfrey. Many of its systems… most notably its ability to blend in with its surroundings… are in a state of disrepair. Yet it, too, has access to the Vortex and the complete knowledge of the timelines. How could it not? Like me it is a sentient being… and it has taken a fancy to the Doctor. She identifies with the crusade he has undertaken.”

“Hold on one rock-rubbing minute!” I butted in. “He stole, er, kidnapped the TARDIS?”

“That is correct, Mistress. He took it from a repair facility on Gallopfrey in his youth. Due to the complex way Timelords regard these devices it is not precisely regarded as kidnapping as such. The core elements of a TARDIS are a species of something very much like coral that grew in the seas of Gallopfrey. Too many Timelords, it seems, regard them as particularly talented animals rather than individuals.”

“You’ve already changed the subject once, pooch…” I warned.

“Understood, Mistress.” The robot dipped its head in acknowledgment. “The TARDIS by its nature knows more about the timelines than the Doctor can since his ability to perceive is hampered by the failure of the systems available to him. Therefore the TARDIS tries to bring the Doctor to where he needs to be as opposed to where he wants to be. The conflict between the two directives often causes the Doctor a loss of precise control over where and when he goes, to his chagrin. In the present case the TARDIS received a summons that allowed it to zero in on these spatio-temporal coordinates.”

“Tyllae!” I breathed, remembering.

“Correct, Mistress. The TARDIS had to come here. The summons allowed it to arrive at the most opportune moment, bringing the Doctor to where he would be of the most effectiveness.”

“And I figure into things… how?” I prompted.

“According to the information in the Vortex you command the starship that reunites the Princesses with the Pony race. This reunion revitalizes a Federation in doubt and traumatized by war and allows it to become an even greater force of peace and harmony for its members, neighbors, and, eventually, the Galaxy at large. All because you had the courage and faith to see if the Legends were true.”

K-9 paused, waiting for me to say something but I was rather taken aback. I’d never thought of myself as a particularly faithful person in regards to spirituality. I have my integrity and try to follow the code of honor we’ve established on Equestris. But as far as being a spiritual people…? We just don’t think that way back Home. Luna is the Princess we evoke in our speech… but mostly in cussing out some recalcitrant piece of equipment! Perhaps I never really knew my own culture or, perhaps, there were things about it I was never told.

K-9 continued.

“The being, Discord, has always been a wild card; a true element of Chaos that cannot or will not behave by any rules. It would seem that his power is beyond that which governs time and destiny. Prior to this time his actions have always been able to be counteracted or compensated for and history has been able, for the most part, the follow its proper course. Now, though, his actions threaten to completely break down the integrity of the timeline to unleash a state of Chaos that will engulf not just Equestria or the Earth, but everything, everywhere, and at every point in Time. The damage will spread backwards in Time. Past, Present, and Future will dissolve into formless Chaos as he, in effect, creates a new, alien sort of Universe to his own specifications. Or lack of specifications, given his nature.” The little bot added thoughtfully, before continuing on. “He has already inflicted damage to history the Doctor may be unable to repair. Conjecture: this may be why no historical records exist for you to validate the existence of the Timelords. Entire segments of the Future have already been compromised, the Past will follow suit unless he is stopped here and now.”

I rubbed my forehead and shut my eyes, stalling for time while The Mare In My Head coaxed and cudgeled my logic circuits into action against the ebbing tide of the Janx.

“Gallopfrey is destroyed, you say? Discord did that to stop the Timelords from interfering with him?” I hoped that the Doctor could mend his fences with his people long enough to bring their resources to bear on the mad God of Chaos. K-9, with true cybernetic dispassion, destroyed that hope.

“No, Mistress. The Doctor destroyed Gallopfrey to end the Time War… which in all probability was a manifestation of Discord’s design. The agents of Chaos come in many forms and their goals, in the final analysis, may not be solely their own whether they realize it or not.”

I got the impression of dark deeds in the past of the eccentric Timelord from Gallopfrey… but I never expected something like this!

“…He destroyed his own Homeworld?”

“Affirmative, Mistress.”

“By himself, it was his decision?”

“Affirmative, Mistress.”

The Mare In My Head looked on in exasperation as all my circuit breakers popped! I shook my head as she reset them.

“This is the buck Tyllae wanted to go to for help? …I’m not sure I like his methods!”

“The Doctor did not make the decision lightly or in haste, Mistress.” There was a real note of reproach in K-9s voice. Snarky electronic mutt that he was, at least he was loyal. “Perhaps you would do well to remember Tyllae is a member of an ancient and wise species despite her demeanor. She trusts the Doctor. Or is it Augment arrogance that makes you believe that you are a better judge of character than she?”

That stung! It was one thing to have to endure the stigma of Khan among Ponies, but to have some jumped-up electronic schnauzer from another universe rub my nose in it was something else entirely!

“Look, Rover!” I glared into those expressionless electronic eyes. “Tyllae is my friend and I trust her. If she says we need the Doctor, ok, we need the Doctor! You’ll excuse me, though, if I have some reservations concerning his methods! Or is it cybernetic arrogance that suggests that I’m not fit to judge the character of a hoighty-toighty Timelord because I’m a mere Augment?”

“Touché, Mistress!” K-9 wagged his tail slowly, raising his head to look me square in the eyes. “Being a product of Timelord programming it would seem that I have inherited an element of Timelord thinking. The Doctor and I are often at odds. I surmise that I serve as a reminder of what he rebelled against in his own people. The destruction of Gallopfrey weighs heavily upon him and he has sworn to never take another life. He is dedicated to the principle that lives cannot be traded even to save other lives. The Doctor always finds another way. It is what he does, but he cannot do it alone. He will always need people like Miss Do, I, and you. He is your Friend… and friends should stand together in trust, should they not?”

I was rapidly coming to the conclusion that his voice synthesizer must be transmitting subliminal signals to convey emotions. The sincerity in his voice was undoubted. He’d make a handy sort of diplomat once he filed the rougher edges of his personality down! In any event I found myself relaxing and feeling more than a little bit ashamed of how I must have represented my people.

“Yeah, they should. Look, K-9, I’m sorry for being so thin-skinned. I …” I trailed off for a moment, at a loss for words. “This is a lot to take in all at once! Look, I don’t have a clear idea of the Big Picture… but I’ll do my best to do my part. For all of us.”

“That’s all that can be asked of all of us when it’s all said and done, isn’t it? Still, I’m glad to hear it, Captain Starry-Eyes. Bravo!”

I jumped and K-9 swiveled his ears toward the new voice. Neither of us, it seemed, heard the Doctor approach but there he stood leaning against the wall just a short distance away with his left legs crossed casually over his right ones. The ghost of a horsey grin from another face shone through the one he wore and he smiled with his eyes.

“Bravo!” He said tenderly.

CHAPTER FIFTY SIX- Prelude to a Picnic

CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX

PRELUDE TO A PICNIC

“You see, this is why I just love ponies!” The Doctor fairly sprang away from the wall. “No other species has such breathtaking range or potential. Oh, they stumble along their path now and then but even when they fall flat on their faces they pick themselves up and carry on. They might not have a clear idea of where they’re going but they have faith that it’s somewhere better. It’s not just an Earth Pony thing, you know, all Pony species have that same wonderful spark…” His sometimes unfathomable eyes rested on me warmly. “In some individuals it just shines brighter than in others.”

There were a lot of things I could have said just then but that statement triggered a memory of a quasi-historical musical I’d watched with Sunny. Learner and Low’s Canterlot, I believe. It might have been the last remnants of the Janx, but before I could stop myself I was quoting from the last line of the story.

“…Less than a drop in the great blue motion of the sunlit sea. But it seems that some of the drops sparkle. Some of them do sparkle!” I fixed the Timelord with my eyes as sternly as I could. “Is that it, Doctor? I hate to disappoint you but I’m nothing special. I don’t believe in Fate. I’m just a Pony in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m no heroine… but I’m not going to back down from a job just because it’s hard work.”

“Don’t you believe in yourself, Starry-Eyes?”

“Individuals don’t exist in isolation, Doctor. One person by themselves can’t accomplish much unless they form the nucleus of a larger group.” I shrugged. “It’s basic biology. A cell by itself is nothing but if it’s part of a larger, organized system like a body… well, that’s another thing altogether. A person is the sum of their friends. By myself I can’t do this but with my crew and my ship we’ll find a way to pull this off… or die trying.”

The Doctor looked like he was going to say something heartening but I stopped him cold.

“Look, don’t patronize me! Don’t patronize us! I’m not being noble or aspiring to be an inspiring martyr. I damn Discord for putting us in this situation and damn you for not being able to handle him yourself! This whole state of affairs stinks floating in liquid hydrogen! It’s just our bad luck that we have to sort it out as best we can. Sympathy and wishful thinking isn’t going to be enough. I just hope we can get out of this with as many of our skins intact as possible!”

“Ah. …And who decides whose skins will be sacrificed?”

“I’m in command here, Doctor. If we can get away with just one casualty then I’ll be it. Case closed. End of discussion. A lot of good Ponies died in the War while I got by on sheer luck and Augmentation…”

The Doctor’s brow furrowed. “Survivor’s Guilt Syndrome? I could tell you a thing or two about that! Surely you don’t think …”

“I’m not worth them, Doctor! Too many really good and brilliant Ponies lost their lives while I made it through and for what… for this to happen?” I didn’t realize it but I’d clenched my fists. I took a breath and continued in what I hoped was a calmer tone. “It’s not even our fault, damn it! Celestia let that whacko son of a bitch loose thirty centuries ago and left us to clean up after her!”

“I see… now you’re angry with Celestia I take it?”

“Yes... No!” I sighed. “Damnit! What’s the point of being a

Goddess if you can’t foresee the consequences of your own actions?”

“Well as far as titles go…” The little Timelord offered. “The whole ‘Goddess’ thing never came about until after she… they… left. I’m curious, what does your history say about Cadence and Twilight Sparkle?” His bright brown eyes smiled disarmingly at me.

“On Equestris they don’t figure into it at all. I heard after I joined Starfleet that Cadence ruled the mythical Crystal Empire while Twilight Sparkle was Celestia’s personal protégé or something.” I shrugged. “Assuming it existed in the first place, The Crystal Empire is now just a carbon layer deposited around Earth. It was an early target. There apparently was a tradition that the place by its very existence promoted peace and harmony throughout the world. I saw pictures of a crater with a balefire plume that was never extinguished. I was told it was a memorial of the place. I wanted to see it but Sunny wouldn’t go. She talked me into going to Carnival in a place called Rio instead. Come to think of it, we never did get to go to Canterlot either…”

“Cadence was her ever-so-great Grandmother as a matter of fact.” The Doctor said quietly. “Is it any wonder why she wouldn’t want to go? It would rather be like you wanting to see that place in Hindia where Khan was, um, conceived.”

“Khan was…!” I snapped back, halting myself just in time to keep from saying…

“‘Real’ was what you were about to say, I believe.” The Doctor sat down and remonstrated to me with one eye. “What is it about the evil that Ponies do that they will believe in while the good…?”

“Why in Hell would I want to see Khan’s birthplace except to relieve myself on his grave?” I plowed on when I saw him open his mouth to speak. “I know! I know! There was never any body! He pulled out on that Mystery Ship in 1995 rather than take his lumps when his enemies got the upper hand. And he called us Colonists ‘cowards’!” I fixed him with one of my own eyes. “Or are you going to tell me that the conspiracy nuts were right and he never left? Like Hitter bugging out to some base in the Antarctic at the end of the Second Phase of the Great War or something.”

“I wouldn’t presume to tell you any such thing. I never met Khan… though I did lock Hitter in a closet once!” It was his turn to keep me from saying something just then, forging straight ahead before I could even draw a breath. “The two of them are way too much of a Hot Topic, temporally speaking, for anypony to meddle with. People like Hitter and Khan are effects, not the causes. In the terms of my people their careers are Fixed Points in Time. Removing them, not matter with what good intentions, would be disastrous for the Timeline. And the Timeline is in trouble enough, trust me!”

I raised a cool eyebrow. “… You get that just because I don’t know about this Cadence or Twilight Sparkle? Look, a lot of historical data was lost in the Eugenics Wars? Half of Earth’s history is up for grabs these days! All anypony can do is to pick up the pieces and carry on and make damn sure that it never happens again!”

The Doctor shook his head and stomped a forehoof emphatically. “History is being rewritten, overwritten, and ultimately doomed to be deleted when the Timeline loses its integrity entirely and collapses into sheer chaos! …Unless you manage to prevail in the near future.”

“Fine!” I snorted impatiently. “Tell me what I have to do to make it happen! You’re the one watching everything from Mount TARDIS with the whole thing laid out at your damn hooves! What do I do next? Well?”

I glared down at him and he set his teeth, took a deep breath and met my eyes resolutely.

“Captain Starry-Eyes.” He said calmly. “I realize you’re under a terrible amount of stress and I am sorry, I am so, so, sorry! Realize, please realize, that this Fixed Point in Time is a grey area to me. Because of what Discord has done. From this point on the History that Was teeters on edge, the smallest nudge from any direction could topple it. Let me give you an analogy! Ponies think of time as a linear sequence of cause and effects leading from the Past toward the Future when, instead, it’s actually a great, huge ball of timey-wimey stuff that…” He trailed off, frowning. “Yeah… it’s gotten away from me again, I’m afraid.” He looked up at me with a helpless grin. “That’s the trouble with trying to explain four-dimensional quantum spacetime foam to a three-dimensional brain.”

“Oh, for the love of…!” I suppressed an urge to grab him by the bow tie and shake his head like a maraca. My own head was beginning to pound and I was feeling like sharing the sensation. Instead I took a deep breath and counted to 600 in base six numbers. After a few moments I continued.

“What do you mean by ‘grey area’?”

“Right! I mean that, although I know what will happen… what should happen…, all the possible ways for the situation for the resolve itself are all viable at the same instant. Each possibility is valid and has an equal chance of success compared with all the others. All the possible ways to fail are equally empowered. The upshot is that, given the state of the Timeline, I cannot rely on my foreknowledge as an absolute guide. The fine details are a blur now… and it will only get worse as we approach the Moment of Crisis with Discord.”

I chewed that over in my head, and a moldy bit of ration bar that was!

I rubbed my forehead while I cudgeled the Mare In My Head to activate certain mental subroutines to deal with the more uncomfortable aspects of my burgeoning hangover.

“If I read you right… you’re saying that we’ll effectively be rewriting History from this point forward, forcing it to conform to the original format. And if we get too many things wrong…”

“Pfft! Chaos!” The Doctor nodded grimly. Then he went through one of his mercurial mood changes again. “But it’s not as hopeless as it sounds! I still have the TARDIS data banks to use as a template. Their data exists outside the sphere of influence of Discord. Unfortunately, though, I am only free to move through those particular sequences of History that he hasn’t muddled.”

“…Because he’s in effect creating a separate Universe, one that you simply can’t function in. Am I correct?”

“Just so. But cheer up! He isn’t omnipotent… yet! We don’t have to have everything one hundred percent correct. We just need to keep the Timeline intact enough to keep going. We have a margin of error that gives us a little wiggle room as it were. Just take care of the high points and I’ll get around to doing the fine work soon enough!”

K-9 choose that moment to make a noise somewhere between a burst of white noise and a snicker. The Doctor cocked an irritated eye at the bot while I forged on.

“Oh? And how much of an error margin is that?” Truth be told, I was more than a little surprised to hear it… as well as a little disturbed. It was somehow disquieting to realize the Universe wasn’t running at one hundred percent efficiency!

“The last time I looked we have a whole seven or eight percent. And eight percent of infinity is quite a bit once you think about it!” He smiled a sunny smile, looking uncomfortably like a certain Faery.

“What?” I stared hard at him. “But any percentage of infinity is still infinity! Talk about your irrational math!”

“It still puts the odds in our favor though, doesn’t it?” So help me he looked a little hurt that I’d pointed that out!

“You’re just indulging in semantics! Fine, you want to have fun with words? This cuts both ways, Doc! Our chance of failure is also infinite! Holy Luna in a hypermass…!”

“Discord has been after you a long time, Starry-Eyes, don’t give up now!” The Doctor said mildly.

I stopped, disoriented by the sudden change of subject.

“Look, the last few weeks have seemed like a few years but…”

“But it has been years! I won’t presume to comment on a Lady’s age, but it has been decades I should think. Remember! I told you that you… you, Starry-Eyes, are an important part of History. Without you Celestia and Luna remain legends and the Federation goes down into obscurity drowned in a Galaxy of turmoil and, well, chaos! Think, Starry! If Discord takes you out of the equation he’s won! Based upon what I’ve read of your personal History he’s been trying for a long time. Think!”

The Timelord’s voice remained mild and reasonable but the urgency in his tone held me in chains of duranium and his eyes blazed like tractor beams as he proceeded to get his point through my thick skull.

“You led a pretty horrible life on Equestris, didn’t you? Your Mother died when you were just a little filly. It was an accident as I recall. …An accident on a world of technologically proficient Ponies who couldn’t afford the loss of a single life. It nearly ruined your family. Your Father’s work suffered and you were in financial distress. There was no way to afford the cost of a higher education for a bright and gifted child. Given the nature of Discord I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t have a cloven hoof in exacerbating the more rebellious aspects of your nature… by which I mean your tendency toward homosexuality, not to put too fine a point on it. Would you be interested to know that Topaz Lode only exists on the Equestrin Personnel Files for a period of only a year? Only long enough to set you on a course of behavior that put you at odds with your culture, making it that much more difficult for you to be anything but another miner who never gave a thought to seeing the stars. I’m told that it was a clerical error aggravated by the destruction wrought on the central database by one of raids by the Orion Mining Syndicates. In any event you never saw her again after she accomplished her… or should I say his purpose. If it’s any consolation, though, yours was not the only life this individual, ah, tampered with. Feldspar, I daresay, was just a little bit of fun on the side. A pointless bit of further amusement at somepony else’s expense.” He paused and smirked. “Rather puts his recent gender-swapping stunt into a new perspective, doesn’t it? … Oh dear!”

I’d sagged back against the wall, feeling sick. It was Time Travel all over again! I gagged and it was only my Augmented biocontrol that kept me from losing my breakfast. As it was I’d already leaned forward out of pure reflex, aiming for the little toy dump truck though it didn’t have a Tellarite’s hope in a Tea Party of coping with could have happened.

I put my hooves on my knees and rested there, taking several deep breaths while the Mare In My Head engaged the manual overrides on my upper digestive system.

“I’m all right! I’m all right!” I said, more feebly than I cared to sound. I had to swallow hard when I made the mistake of thinking about what I was going to say.

“Topaz was Discord? I had… sex… with Discord???” I said thickly, breaking into a cold sweat while I fought off a wave of nausea. Even after all these years I wanted to take a boiling hot shower with lots and lots of disinfectant followed by choice organ replacements and gene therapy!

“Oh, Holy Humping Luna doing a lap dance…!” I moaned. “Just kill me now!”

“If he was in his right mind he would have done so.” The Doctor said, tapping the side of his head and then making a circular motion. “But he isn’t and he didn’t. He wanted… wants you to suffer. I have no doubt that… if he wins out in the end… he’d take great pleasure in tormenting you with the news. His desire for revenge makes him even more irrational. I have to wonder, though…” He trailed off, looking thoughtful.

“Now what? ...If you’re gonna tell he was my Daddy I’ll paste you right here and now!”

“What?” The Timelord looked startled, then waved a dismissive hoof. “Oh no, nothing like that! He’s been waging a relentless campaign aimed at crushing your spirit and keeping you from ever leaving Equestris. Obviously and thankfully it didn’t work. After so many millennia he still underestimates the tenacious Earth Pony Spirit, doesn’t he? I just wonder if he didn’t find himself caught up by his own scheming.”

“You’re changing the subject again.” I swallowed again, hard! “Thank you and continue!”

“Oh, that’s just another example of the whole timey-wimey thing, isn’t it?” He tipped me a winning grin and continued. “I just had a thought…”

“Congratulations, Master!” K-9 put in, tail whirring as it wagged.

“Oi! That’s just about enough out of you!” The Doctor scowled at the cyber-pooch with no real rancor. “Aren’t you supposed to be on clean up?”

“I have completed my task already, Master.” The little bot said primly. “The remains of one phased-energy weapon with Arcane enhancement collected and en route to Reclamation.”

The Doctor ran a mildly interested eye over the junk in the toy truck. “Well that’s about the most constructive use for a thing like that isn’t it? Really though, if you just wanted something to smash there’s any amount of old bric-a-brac knocking around here you could have had a go at.” He began poking a hoof through the collection of ruined parts. “Somewhere I have a collection of pottery from a place called Kelba on world called Tohn, makes an amazing noise when you bash it against a wall. Made with a sort of memory ceramic, pulls itself back together good as new when you’re done! The potters there literally put themselves out of business after a couple of generations, fascinating stuff! …Haven’t quite worked out how it does it yet, though. Hmm…”

He separated a tiny component from the rest. “You might want that one back. It’s dilithium, isn’t it? How quaint! It’s at quite a premium at this point in time if I’m not mistaken. If you’re intent on throwing the rest away I’ll take it off your hooves. Transtators are handy things for tinkering.”

“You are an expert in tinkering… as opposed to serious technical expertise, Master.” K-9 observed.

“I put you back together as I recall!” The Doctor said archly.

“One sterling success set against countless half-successes does not constitute evidence of true expertise, Master.” The little bot stated. “Mistress Ditzy was extremely helpful in my reconstruction. She has true talent when it comes to higher cybernetics. Her insights into the problems with the Chameleon Circuit…”

“Bah!” The Grumpy Old Stallion aspect of the Doctor’s personality came shining through. “Miss Doo is a truly wonderful person and a wonderful Companion…”

“Merely a ‘Companion’, Master?” The electronic pooch made that snickersound again.

So help me, the Doctor blushed! He grumbled. “She’s a talented amateur, hardly a qualified TARDIS technician.”

“You never completed the requisite training, Master.”

“Oi! Hold it right there, you tin-plated…”

“Keep the junk, I’ll write it off as ‘Lost In Combat’.” I jumped into the verbal fray. “What about Discord’s scheme?”

The Timelord, who had whirled to face the snarky dogbot, kept whirling to regard me.

“A-hem! It occurred to me that Discord had a talon in bringing about the Eugenics Wars. If Khan had won he and his would surely have killed off your Colonist ancestors. After all, in their eyes, your lot would have been ‘defectives’. If that had happened you would never have been born. If you’d never been born he’d never be able to enjoy tormenting you. He couldn’t have it both ways… yet. He must have hatched the Augment plot when the Prism was far less powerful.” He made a face. “…Or, perhaps, he hadn’t at that point even hatched his Grand Design. Hard to fathom the mind of a lunatic, though… and don’t you say one word along the lines of ‘Like minds thinking alike’!” He kept on whirling until he was able to point an accusing hoof at K-9, who raised his mechanical head to look at him inquisitively.

“Too fast for you, wasn’t I?” The Doctor said smugly. He turned back to me. “That’s the limitations of a purely cybernetic brain for you! All the processing speed in the Universe isn’t a match for good old organic spontaneity!” He actually buffed a hoof against his coat and paused to admire the shine, clearly pleased at cleverly making his point.

“There was no need for me to speak, Master,” The little bot began as he turned away with his cleaning charges in tow. “…When the facts plainly speak for themselves!”

The Doctor didn’t quite grind his teeth!

It was time for me to be diplomatic, or at least tactful. “So he couldn’t have Eugenics Wars and me both…” I had a sudden thought of my own. “Unless he rigged the outcome!”

“Of course he did!” The Doctor said irritably. “How else could the Superponies have lost? They had enormous advantages in technology, surprise, physical capability, you name it!” He paused to collect himself and continued in a calmer tone. “Off the cuff I’d say he organized the splinter groups that began the War allied with the Superponies then sought domination on their own, Colonel Green and the others. It the classic cause of military downfall, too many fronts to fight on. Not even the Superponies could pull it off! …Though I wouldn’t put it past Our Boy to have facilitated Khan’s escape from Earth. It would be just like him to keep the old villain available for more mischief later on, don’t you think?”

“I …don’t know what I think any more!” I found myself leaning against the wall again for support. “I honestly don’t know what I feel worse about, having been tricked into having sex with Discord… or the fact that he played around with the lives of billions just to make sure I’d be there for him to gloat over in the future. All together that’s quite a load in the old ore cart!” I rubbed my forehead and closed my eyes. “My head hurts, my heart hurts, and I’m slagging exhausted. I want to find Sunny and get this show on the road while I can still stand.”

The Doctor looked me over not unkindly for a moment. “Well you know what they say, there’s no rest for the wicked! Come along my Good Captain, just one more thing to do before we deal with the Werewolf!”

“Great.” I said with all due enthusiasm. “What’s next?”

“Don’t you remember? You must be in a bad way!” He gave me a playful poke on the knee. “We’re having a picnic!”

CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN INSPIRATION

C

HAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN

INSPIRATION

I stared at him blankly, just too plainly overwhelmed by the days events. The Timelord looked hurt.

“Don’t look at me like that! I promised you one, and I always keep my promises. As far as I can, anyway… usually. I’ve got quite a good track record as far as these things go. Oh…!” He abruptly changed tracks. “I understand congratulations are in order! I just heard the news. It rather surprised me, actually! For some reason I had the impression that the Blessed Event happened later on. Oh, well, I was just sort of skimming the information about you in the database anyway....” He looked thoughtful. “Something about the news just stuck in my mind so I called up an image to see if it would strike a spark. Nothing sprang to mind, though. As I said, it was just a feeling.” He shrugged and smiled waiting and looking coy.

I remained silent… though I did have to keep myself from reaching out for the picture. I won’t lie; I was about beside myself for a look! However, given the nature of the knowledge…

The Doctor dug me on the knee with an elbow. “Are you sure? It’s my understanding that on Equestris you lot arrange just about every aspect of your children just after conception. Gender, physique, intelligence, pretty much the entire package! You won’t be breaking any cultural rules as far as I’m concerned and it certainly won’t change future events… given the state of flux in the Timeline already.”

“We try to do all that.” I said as my curiosity began to get the upper hoof. “It doesn’t always work out that way. Our genes are already reworked to the point where it’s pretty hard to modify them. One of our Augmentations is a resistance to genetic change as a protection against genetic weaponry. The Augmentation works both ways. Look at me! I came out as a borderline dwarf with a personality inclined toward um… unconventional behavior.” I chewed the inside of my lip for a moment and cocked an eye at the expectant Timelord.

“You’re just dying to show me, aren’t you?”

“Quite.” He waggled his eyebrows at me. “But if you’d rather not…”

I squirmed, tempted. “It probably wouldn’t be set in stone anyway. It occurs to me that anything we do from this point forward could alter the outcome…” I gave the Doctor a meaningful look. “Is it a picture of What Will Be, or just one of What Might Be?”

“As things stand now it is an image of What Should Be, if you take my meaning.” He said softly. “It occurs to me that you, ah, need to see this. It is important that you see this especially at this particular instance, not to put too fine a point on it, for your sake.”

“Uh-huh.” I grunted. I fixed him with a hard eye. “You got this place bugged, Doctor?”

“Nothing happens in the TARDIS that I’m not aware of it, Starry. We’ve been together a long time, she and I. We have quite the symbiotic relationship! At any rate one needn’t be a Timelord to see that you’ve been crying… or to understand why.”

It’s discomfiting, as an Equestrin, to seem so transparent. We like to keep our personal troubles to ourselves. Nopony likes to appear weak… as they deem it…but I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes we Equestrins take it to extremes. I didn’t say a damn thing for long moments. What I would have shared with Sunny I never would have revealed to a comparative stranger.

I cleared my throat quietly. “Do you usually keep such detailed tabs on everypony on board this thing?”

The Doctor refused to meet my gaze. He began speaking as he rummaged through his pockets.

“I rejoined the others after I picked up a few things that we may need for what comes next.” He began laying things on the deck as he encountered them. The first object was the muffin he’d been snacking upon back on the Bridge. Next came an apple, a yo-yo, and a ball of twine the size of my fist. He kept on searching.

“They told me you left the Control Room in something of a state after you’d heard about Sunny’s condition…” A hoof-full of honest-to-Luna wooden pencils in a variety of bright colors, bound together with a rubber band, were added to the pile. Then came a thin cloth bag that clanked as he laid it down. The drawstring sealing it had come loose and a couple of metal jacks fell out as well as a tiny, red ball. The next item was something I recognized only from an image in a database, a newspaper folded open to expose a very smudged crossword puzzle. Well… that explained the presence of the pencils anyway! Most of a dull pink eraser bounced around on the deck after it.

“The TARDIS can be quite the labyrinth so I asked the Old Girl to show you the way back to where we were…” His voice became muffled as face disappeared up to his ears as he delved. It became clearer as it reappeared. He frowned.

“I know I had it! I distinctly remember printing it up an putting it in a pocket somewhere…” He began nosing into his right pocket and extracted a bright brass compass and a brilliantly multicolored cube with nine squares to each side. A smooth, gray rock thumped down next to it. The Doctor pointed a stern hoof at it, addressing it as one would a pet.

“Stay! Sit! Good boy!”

“… How in Hell can you be loaded down like that anyway?” I asked, irritated with the preposterous things that just seemed to swarm around the Doctor. “Your pockets aren’t even bulging! And why for Ponies sake are you talking to a rock?”

The Doctor looked at me innocently before he answered one question and ignored the other. “They’re bigger on the inside. What, you didn’t think we just did it with the TARDIS, did you? Handy things, nested dimensions! Oh, wait! Wrong pockets!”

His head dove into the inside of his jacket. He emerged with a small leather carrier dangling from his lips. I’d seen ponies carry their credit chips in something similar.

“Drat! Grabbed the wrong one, just hold onto that a moment, will you?” He asked out of the corner of his mouth.

I took the thing and his head disappeared back into his coat. There was something small and hard in it. Not a credit chip, it felt like an ID card or something similar. Out of curiosity I flipped the cover open…

It was an ID card! The Great Seal of the Federation of Pastures, with the stylized star map of the founding star systems embedded within, was emblazoned on it. The card informed me that the bearer was a Special Agent of the Federation Council reporting directly to the Federation President. The seal of the Security Division was appended to it.

I caught the Timelord’s eye as he came back out of his coat and flicked him a questioning eyebrow.

“Psychic Paper.” He said…like that just explained everything! I held his gaze until he felt prompted to explain. “It shows the viewer whatever they need to see to convince them I’m here to help. Apparently you needed a little more convincing!” His eyes twinkled. “This is how I got Tyllae’s call. Now that you know the truth, look again!”

My eyes flicked back down to the document. Now it was just a creamy yellow blank.

“Cute.” I said flatly. “Trade you!” The thing the Doctor held carefully in his mouth, quite frankly, held a lot more interest for me!

He held it facing away from me and deposited it upside-down onto my waiting palm. The Psychic Paper went back into his coat and he sat back on his haunches expectantly, looking so pleased with himself that I would have glared at him if my attention wasn’t elsewhere!

I tenderly flipped the thing over and stopped breathing!

It was a very good tri-vee pic, taken by a very expensive imager, giving the impression of looking through a tiny window at something in the next room.

The room in question was the Library back in Alicorne Keep. The very room where I asked Amber Rose for his daughter’s hoof in marriage! That ancient clock sat it the background mutely informing one and all that it was eleven thirty-eight in the morning. Brilliant sunlight streamed through unseen windows, striking rainbows from the facets of the cut glass decanter on the massive oak table. Uskebaugh glowed warmly within it.

There, behind the selfsame chair I sat on the fateful day, I was seated wearing my dress uniform beaming like an idiot, my meager collection of awards concealed behind Sunny as she sat in my lap, wearing a gleaming white, gauzy gown that clung to her like a second skin. Her shoulders were bare and she wore neither necklace nor earrings for propped up on her lap swaddled in a pure white blanket The Most Adorable Foal In The Universe blinked directly at whoever took the picture. One chubby arm was caught in the act of waving vaguely while the other one held tight to a gleaming white plastic ring upon which dangled brightly colored baubles in the shape of a red apple, a blue diamond, a pink and yellow butterfly, a mauve starburst surrounded by five littler stars, a rainbow bolt depending from a cloud, and a little trio of blue balloons.

A single lock of void-black mane hung down over a rich chestnut forehead. The foal’s right eye was surrounded by a bright patch of white and white was its muzzle. My heart melted. My palette… our child had my palette. Then and only then did I notice the stubby ebon horn next to that wayward lock…

“A Unicorn? …We had a Unicorn!” Fresh tears came to my eyes and I found myself smiling as widely as my holographic twin.

“Well, you’re half right.” The Doctor corrected me. “You can’t tell with the blanket and all, of course, but your daughter is an Alicorn. An Equestrin Alicorn at that! I daresay those twentieth-century Eugenicists would certainly have been proud to see that! …Some of them, anyway!” He amended. “Quite the first, in any case! Congratulations, my dear!”

“Thank you.” I whispered as the tears ran. Despite of the fact I knew it was just an image, I couldn’t help but to reach out with a forefinger to touch that tiny hand and stroke that perfect face.

I sensed rather than saw him dive back into his pockets. I was too busy sharing the image with The Mare In My Head who immediately began dabbing her eyes, grinning like a maniac! She paused in her adoration only long enough to archive the image, flying to her Science Station and jabbing buttons with a lightning-like flurry of her hooves before flinging herself back into her Command Chair so hard that it spun!

Something light touched my free hoof. I looked down to see the Doctor holding a large white hoof kerchief adorned with purple question marks.

“Here you go, my dear.” He murmured out of the corner of his mouth. I took it and mopped up my eyes. It smelled of jelly-babies.

The Timelord patted my knee as I blew my nose. To call attention away from the truly tremendous racket I was making… as has been previously noted, Equestrin lungs are powerful… he began to chatter.

“The image was lifted from a newsfeed, the Elphinstone Times, I believe. ‘Captain Starry-Eyes and Doctor Solar Cross of Starfleet proudly announce the birth of their daughter, Accord, on July 17th, 2217’…”

He never got the rest out because I gathered him up to me in a bone-crushing hug!

To give the old buck credit, he was tougher than he looked! I felt him tense up in my grasp as he squirmed helplessly.

“Oh… dear! Yes, well, you see I’m not, ah, much of a hugger you understand.” His voice became rather strained as he continued. “… But I am very much a breather! Do you know who is a hugger? Sunny! Don’t you think you’d like to share a happy moment like this with… ooohhh dear!”

I picked the Timelord up bodily and whirled him around three times, coat and tail flying while his hindlegs flailed. Before I put him down again I loosened my grip just enough to plant a big, wet one square on his astonished lips! The panicked look in his eyes was simply priceless!

He flopped down on his haunches, narrowly missing some of the loose jacks on the floor as he scrambled to gain his composure. He fussed with his coat and tie and ran a hoof through his mane a couple of times before treating me to a reproachful look.

“Well that was certainly invigorating!” He shook himself where he sat. “I'm glad you weren't having twins or triplets..there wouldn't be an intact bone left in my body! Nearly squeezed all the Regeneration Energy out of me as it was! Madame, you clearly have no idea of your own strength!” He got up on all fours and cautiously stretched. “No harm done... in fact...” He paused and alternately bobbed his forequarters and hindquarters, looking quite pleased. “I feel limber as a monkey's tail! I've had a little stiffness in my back for a while now but it's quite gone now.”

He started humming a catchy tune to himself an proceeded to start kicking both sets of legs alternately into the air, doing a dance step that tickled something in my memory. Once upon a time on that glorious summer on Earth Sunny and I took a day trip to Prance where we saw dancers doing...

“The Can-Can? You're doing the Can-Can...?” It was so preposterous that I said to Hell with Timelord Dignity and all but collapsed into helpless laughter.

The Doctor broke into a tolerable version of a ballet twirl and finished gracefully.

“Oh, that's nothing! Give me the proper shoes and I could show you what I can do with the Flamenco!” He arched his body like a cat and started a series of abbreviated steps punctuated with occasional loud stomps in dramatic poses. “Ole!”

“More like 'Uncle'! I give! I give! I'm glad you're OK.” I wiped my eyes. “It's true, sometimes I forget I grew up in a deeper gravity well. I promise to restrain myself in the future. Uh, stick-a-cupcake-in-my-eye!” I touched my right eye with my left finger in the ancient Terran tradition.

“No harm done, my dear Starry-Eyes.” The Doctor smiled affably, not even a little winded after his display of hoof-work. “Now, if you're up to it, the others are waiting in the Garden. Sunny won't admit it but she's worrying. Fortunately Miss Doo and Tyllae are keeping her occupied... otherwise she'd go tearing off in an effort to find you. The TARDIS being what she is, I thought it would be better if I came to fetch you myself. She'd already started pointing you in the right direction...”

“The lights.” I said thoughtfully. “The lights were going out behind me. That was the AI of the TARDIS, wasn't it?”

Before he could answer a low, discordant gong rang over unseen speakers... perhaps. The Doctor pursed his lips disapprovingly.

“The TARDIS is not an Artificial Intelligence, she's a quite natural one. For the sake of future reference it would be helpful for you to remember that. She and I are the last bits of Gallopfrey in all of Eternity. The two soul survivors as it were... and she's even crankier about her identity than I am, thank-you-very-much!”

“O-o-o-oh, kay! Uh, sorry about that!” I addressed the empty air. When in Roam and all that...

I don't know where it came from. I never saw or heard a trace of anything like a transporter effect, but something came fluttering down in front of me. It was no trick for my reflexes to snatch it out of the air. I found myself in possession of a brilliant blue blossom. A rose on a tiny bit of thornless stem complete with two tiny green leaves.

“She's forgiven you, the sentimental old thing.” The Doctor patted a wall. “She knows about your child, of course. You're getting to be quite an old softie aren't you, Sexy?” The lights around us went off and came on twice and a warm breeze scented with alien blooms wafted over us as the Timelord chuckled. I was suddenly feeling very much the outsider. I reevaluated my interpretation of the relationship between the Doctor and his TARDIS. Initially I had the impression that he was its operator, that it was in essence a machine. A fantastically complex machine, true, but a machine nonetheless. After that moment, though, I wasn't so sure. These two had a history!

“She's older than I, you know.” The Doctor, with his uncanny ability to divine my thoughts, startled me. “By an order of magnitude. She was already an obsolete model when I, um, ran off with her.” His hoof came up once again and stroked the wall in a caress. “But we... synched... I have no other way to explain it. She never tried to alert the Gallopfreyan authorities nor did she ever try to thwart me in my travels, the Dear Old Thing.” He paused to give me a rueful, reminiscent smile. “It took me a while but I realized that she'd been fighting this fight before I'd even considered it. She knows more about, um, things than I do and I do my best to catch up. She arranges things to happen that I need. Things that, because of her nature, she cannot provide. Don't you, Old Girl?”

I had a flash of insight. “Companions. When you said the word it had a...” I paused while I sorted things out to express them tactfully. “Certain weight of meaning.”

“Quite.” The Doctor flicked a bit of imaginary dust off a door frame. “She knew, even before I did, that I should never travel Alone. It took me a while to realize that but I got the message eventually.” He treated me to a private smile. The Doctor was admitting that he was actually wrong about something. It was something that the enigmatic, eccentric little kook would only admit to his closest friends... and I was touched that he said so in my presence.

I kept the warm feeling to myself. It wouldn't have been Equestrin of me to reach out and give him a hug... recent events nonwithstanding. (That was different, so there!) So I tucked the bloom into my mane silently.

“Well, it's nice to know that you're capable of learning even at your age!” What I couldn't bring myself to do physically I did with my eyes as I caught his gaze. Trust the old buck to pick up on it at once! He knew enough about Equestrins to tip me the barest hint of a wink with his left eye just before he sprang up.

“Well even I can see through a brick wall in time, can't I?”

“Sure you can. ...What the hell is that even supposed to mean?”

The Doctor ignored that. Instead, he stuck a hoof tip in his mouth and wetted it. He held it up as if checking for a breeze.

“Picnic, right! The Garden is...” He cast his gaze up and down the corridor. “This way, I should think.” He pranced off down the corridor the way I'd be coming. I had to take a long step to catch up to him.

“Now hold on one gravel-spitting minute, Doctor!” I said as I fell in beside him. “The lights were guiding me the other direction as I recall. If the Garden was back here why would...”

“The geometry of the TARDIS is variable.” He said briskly. “The internal layout can be changed. 'Relative Dimensions' and all that. The Old Girl was pointing you in the right direction but we can get there quicker along this way, trust me. Just a little help, please, there's-a-good-girl!” Until just a few moments ago I would have said that he'd addressed the last line to the empty air, but now I knew better.

“Just around the next corner if I'm not mistaken! Shake a leg, won't you? I hope there's some food left. I could do with a bite.” He looked wistful “ ...I wonder if there's any of that apple pie left? Well, there's sure to be muffins if Miss Doo has anything to say about it!”

I should have known better than to protest, yet I did.

“If memory serves the next corner is way the Hell down along this corridor and I was running when I passed it! How could it possibly be closer...?”

“Ah! Here we go then!” The Doctor turned right so quickly that I had to wrench myself around to follow. He watched me out of the corner of his eyes, just waiting for me to say it.

As long as he was waiting for it, I spoke up.

“OK ...That was sooo not there a little bit ago. Handy trick, that!”

“Isn't it, though? Comes in very handy indeed when you just have to get to the bathroom! Thank you, Sexy!” He paused in front of a brassbound timber door and patted the frame.

I couldn't resist teasing him. “Do you call her that in front of Ditzy?”

“Oh the TARDIS and Miss Doo made their peace ages ago! In that regard she's a better judge of character than I am... just don't tell her I said that, eh?” He tipped me a wink as he paused with an upraised hoof at the door.

Unlike most of the more conventional looking doors in the TARDIS this one didn't sport a knob or even a handle. Instead there was a simple hasp not unlike the ones on the grounds of Alicorne Keep to keep the foals out of the more delicate gardens. He flipped it up and slid it in one careless motion.

“Don't tell who? Ditzy or the TARDIS...?” I trailed off when, after the Doctor gave the door a careless kick, the sunshine made me blink. I raised a hoof against the glare as a mild breeze, dizzy with the scents of blooms I couldn't identify, toyed coyly with my mane.

Chapter Fifty Eight- THE GARDENS OF GALLOPFREY

CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT

THE GARDEN OF GALLOPFREY

The Mare In My Head stared at her screen, consulted her readouts with a frown... and started doing a diagnostic of her systems! I calmly sent her the data again and she rejected it, the little cynic! After the third time I just gave up and told her to cope with it while I took in the details.

The sun that dazzled me was a brighter orange than the comparatively dim disk of Nova Celestia back Home. It was larger, too. About a quarter again as big, call it a K-5 bordering on an M-class star. Cooler, older than Earth's sun. A star past its prime and whiling its way toward old age smiling benignly in a pale, sky and taking no note of the sparse, wispy streaks of cloud that barely moved.

A quarter of the sky away there rode a half-phase disk of copper and ivory, most of the colors washed away by the sunlight. I assumed it was a natural satellite, about the size of Earth's Moon but with no brooding equine face upon it. There were some features visible, some of them looking suspiciously angular and geometric. Habitats? Mining Facilities? There was simply no way for me to tell and I never got round to asking the Doctor about it.

My gaze dropped to the foreground attracted by the blaze of color. Red, it was all the shades of red. Not the sere, parched red of Mares one orbit out of Earth back in the Solar System nor even the stark ocher and cinnabar I'd glimpsed in holos of Vulcan. There was precious little bare ground visible in this place. Nearly every scrap of it was covered by plants... and their leaves were red .

The ground was covered with grass or a close analog to it, trimmed to a uniform height and as dense and straight as a military manecut on either side of a meandering pale brown dirt path lined with (Equestrin) fist-sized rocks. Judging from what I could see they were a mix of igneous, metamorphic, and sedimentary types strewn more-or-less neatly on either side of a one pony wide track that curved out of sight behind a shrub with narrow, scarlet leaves with serrated edges.

I noticed that the plants were larger the farther away from the path they lay. Bushes, shrubs, isolated beds of brilliant white, yellow, green, or blue flowers in beds of red-brown mulch lay near at hoof and gave way to stands of something like decorative grasses taller than me. Beyond them lay honest-to-Luna trees with black-to-brown trunks whose wide-spread branches flourished hundreds of thousands of carmine, scarlet, and just plain red leaves of all shapes and textures and each and every one of them gleamed with silver on their undersides. … I haven't been dazzled by plant life like this since Earth!

The air was noticeably drier than in the forest surrounding Sunny's place back in Elphinstone. Hardly desert-like but I noticed the difference. The breeze began to blow past us into the corridor.

“Just give that a tug, won't you? It'll only get harder to close the longer it stays open.” The Doctor said rather absently, nodding toward the gate and not taking his gaze away from the horizon behind the trees and the vault of the sky. When he noticed me looking at him he came back to himself and gave me a wink. “Higher air pressure on this side, don't you know. Besides, it wouldn't do to let too much of the damp in!”

Wordlessly, I reached out and grabbed the latch, dragged the gate shut and slid the hasp home. When I glanced back at him he had returned to his reverie. It would have been polite to leave him to it for a little while... but I was curious!

“You have a working biosphere in here? Is it part of the life-support system?”

“Hmm...?” The Doctor came back from wherever he was. “Oh, yes and no. In that order.” He gave me a sly look. “Care to guess what this place is?”

I looked around more intently, comparing the dryness of the air and trying to get a feel for the gravity. I took a step and raised one arm half-way and let it fall back to my side. It didn't jibe with what I knew of Vulcan. The plants were beyond me entirely. I'd never seen anything like them. Knowing what I did of the TARDIS I hazarded a guess...

“The planet Mares about a billion years ago...? But the gravity isn't right. But why would you have a simulated Maretian environment?” I frowned, concentrating. “I'm thinking even the TARDIS would be stressed if you made yourself a model of every habitable world you know of. Therefore this has to be someplace that has some special meaning for you. I don't care how advanced your Science is this has to take a lot of engineering to pull off on a whim...” The most probable answer flashed into my mind at that very instance. “This is Gallopfrey, isn't it?”

“Spot on! Good show! And they say Equestrins are dense!” He beamed at me just before he began to trot down the path. “Mares? Goodness, no! The Ice Warriors would have been all over us like ugly on a Dalek!” He said over his shoulder. He halted abruptly, his hooves slipping just a little bit in the dirt. “Oh, that's right. 'Mares' never had Ice Warriors. Slip of the old mental tongue! Mares and Mars sound so much alike. One little letter and a whole Universe apart! Oh, well, no harm done!” He shrugged and began off down the path again. I was caught up to him in two steps.

“Hold on one crumbling minute! Who says Equestrins are dense?” I demanded as we rounded a curve.

“I didn't say I said it!” The Doctor grinned his fey grin and kept on grinning while he waited for me to get the joke I had no clue about.

“It's in the nature of a pun, don't you know?” He prompted me. “'Who' says...? Ha ha ha.” His grin held on desperately. “You see I've come to be known by some as 'Doctor...' oh, never mind!” He made an irritated noise and kept his gaze strictly forward.

“Back to the question at hoof, Doc!” I said patiently, choosing my next words carefully. “Which group of people call Equestrins...”

“Tellarites!” He said curtly. “And not a few Terrans, I might add! ' Dense' and 'unimaginative' are the two kindliest terms that leap to mind, though there are a host of others.”

“Is that so?” I restrained an urge to strip a whippy-looking branch off the limb I had to duck under and lay it right across his cutie-mark! “We're also crabby and irritable especially when having a long and emotionally-exhausting day like this. Did I mention that we're prone to stuffing a Pony's face up his own back end when we get ticked off? Look, I'm sorry I didn't get whatever you you're referring to but I think I'm doing a rather admirable job of coping with all the weirdness...”

“You are!” The Doctor cut me off and continued more softly. “You really are. Far better than most of the relative few who've been allowed in the TARDIS. Miss Doo handled it especially well, but she's rather a special case, isn't she? Don't mind me, my dear. Mad Pony With A Blue Box and all that!” He gave me an apologetic look that managed to speak volumes. “Seeing Gallopfrey whole and intact stirs... a variety of emotions within me.”

I regarded him for a few moments. We don't press on Equestris. A Pony will tell his story or not, it's all up to them. I had to wonder, though. The Doctor killed this place, his home... Well he was entitled to his privacy.

“Fair enough, Doc.” I nodded and resumed sightseeing. It was a few moments before I ventured to speak again. “Nice enough place, though. Beats the Hell out of Mares at any rate. Don't tell Evee I said that!”

The Doctor smiled . “I am the very epitome of discretion, my Dear. Well, discretion and eccentricity that is! Mostly eccentricity, actually. It's my most endearing trait, well that and my daring fashion sense!” He paused and reared up just enough to adjust his pert red bow-tie. “In any event, while I'd be the first to admit that Mares isn't a patch on old Gallopfrey, you have to give the Maretians credit! They did a simply marvelous job of taming a hostile world. A real, first-rate survival story!”

“Feh!” I snorted. “All they had to do was inflate those Tinkertoy domes and turn the heat up!” I started ticking off points on my fingers. “ All that ice underground and at the Poles, practically no tectonic activity, lower gravity, and they were only five light-minutes from Earth! They would have had to try not to survive! We would have killed to have it that easy on Equestris!”

“Be fair!” The Doctor admonished. “Remember the conditions of the day! The Maretians had to start from scratch. No ship full of colonization hardware for them! The domes, and practically everything they needed had to be built from the materials on hoof. They were hardly counting on the breakdown of civilization during and after The Eugenics Wars! They were caught out quite flat hoofed and effectively isolated. They may have well been in another galaxy for all Earth could do for them, poor fellows!”

“Lemme tell you about that 'ship full of colonization hardware', pal!” I retorted. “About half the ship was Time Warp Drive! The Rose was so old by the time it found Equestris that it was falling apart! It was their third planetfall and everything was in short supply. It was Do Or Die time when they made orbit. If we weren't Augments... oh, ha-ha!” I ended sarcastically.

For the Timelord was snickering as he trotted. “Touchy, touchy! I had no idea there was such jealousy between Equestris and Mares!”

“We're not jealous. Equestris is just under-rated by Earth is all. Everypony thinks that just because we're Augments it was a picnic!” I gave the little twerp a playful shove that would have made him scramble to keep his balance if he were getting around on two legs like everypony else. As it was he had to resort to some adroit hoofwork to keep his pace up. I had to admire him for his reflexes. I'm not sure I could have pulled it off!

“Speaking of picnics,” I was in the process of reaching out to steady the agile so-and-so. When he recovered so effortlessly I changed course and brushed a stray lock of mane out of my eyes in what I hoped was a casual and natural gesture. “Why are we having one on what amounts to Gallopfrey instead of Earth?”

“Ah, well, Miss Doo sometimes gets muddled when it comes to directions. She's quite sensitive about it. An embarrassing experience from when she was younger about a job she had to do at what they used to call 'Winter Wrap-Up'. In any event she ended up here instead of Equestria. It would make her feel self-conscious if I asked her to pack everything back up again and move. In any event, Gallopfrey isn't such a bad place to have a picnic, isn't it? Very calm and peaceful once you get away from the cities. Besides, you're xenophilic enough that I daresay you'll rather enjoy it. Spirit of adventure and all that! Tyllae is enjoying herself immensely and Sunny is happy to be wherever you happen to be, bless her heart. All in all it's a win-win situation, isn't it?”

I couldn't help laughing. “And we have an expert guide to the place to boot!”

“You have no idea, my Dear! I've wandered all through here when I was a lad, er, colt. I was born on the other side of that hill as a matter of fact.” He shot me a warning look. “No, we won't be going visiting. Our destination is right through these bushes. Allonz-y!” With no further warning he hopped to the right, straight through a stand of bushes with dense clusters of narrow oval leaves, his coat tails flapping for just an instant as he went out of sight!

I barely had time to stop when he burst back, a look of panic in his eyes!

“Um, run!” He said quickly.

“What the Hell, Doc...?” My ears perked up through my mane as an ominous low buzzing became apparent. Small things, insects with dark bodies and silver wings, began to circle and dart around us. More arrived every second.

“Basically... run!”

And he was off at Time Warp Speed! He sped off to the left of the path, dodging trees and plowing through the undergrowth! He skidded to a stop maybe thirty feet away and whirled to face me.

Live and let live is my motto, at least when it comes to wildlife. In any event, the bugs didn't seem that interested in me. Maybe my Equestrin physiology confused them. Maybe I just didn't smell like a threat. Maybe the color of my uniform was soothing, yellow wasn't a color that seemed to occur naturally on Gallopfrey. Although I had a pretty dense swarm going around me they seemed to be content to just circle, thought a daring few made passes now and again, making as if to land but aborting at the last instant.

“Stay calm, Starry...!” The Doctor whispered urgently. Was he afraid the bugs would hear him?

I raised a hoof slowly in his direction.

“It's ok, Doc!” I said calmly. “They don't seem to know what to make of me. I'm going to walk slowly away down the path. They should break off after I go away far enough... whoops!” I twitched my head when one of them made to land on the end of my nose.

The Doctor hid himself behind a tree! “Do be careful! The Kel are analogous to Terrestrial Bees. They pollinate plants and aren't normally aggressive unless somepony, ah, disturbs their hive. ...Purely by accident, of course!”

I rolled an eye at him. “Good going, Genius!”

He cautiously emerged from hiding.

“Anypony can make a mistake, my Dear!” He said huffily. “ It isn't as if I didn't have sex with Discord! In any event I never really damaged the nest... I just sort of bumped it with my head as I came through. No harm done, really, but they don't know that. They do seem to be rather taken by you, don't they? Lucky me!” He looked thoughtful. “Must be the color of your uniform. To them you're a gigantic, exotic blossom. Oh, dear! Are you wearing perfume?”

The buzzing of the swarm had become less intense. I took that as a hopeful sign. The trade-off for their lessening of aggression, though, was an increase in their curiosity. More and more of them were landing on my arms, milling around. I peered closely at them. Six-legged dark bodies with a lateral silver stripe down each side, almost exactly the same color as their wings. Or the undersides of the leaves of Gallopfrey. I wondered if they roosted there for camouflage. I was snapped out of my reverie by the sensation of feeling them on my back and I was beginning to collect patches of them on my belly and breasts. I invoked my Equestrin biocontrol to keep from breaking out in a cold sweat and kept my arms extended away from me.

“Equestrin perfume.” I informed him in a steady voice. “Extract of native moss and synthetic wood esters. Sunny says it reminds her of tree sap and sawdust. ...And if you mention Topaz Lode again I'll reach through these bushes and brain you with the damn nest!”

The Doctor nodded and grinned. “Touche! Well, it could be worse. In the Equestrian garden we might have run afoul of a beaver dam!”

“I'm glad you're amused.” I said coldly. “Let me come over and shake your hoof to congratulate you on your sense of humor... ah, damnit!” I reached up to comb a few out that had crept into my mane and almost flew into my ear. They buzzed a little louder in annoyance before finding one of the increasingly fewer bare spots on my shirt to congregate.

“Steady on!” The Doctor warned. “If you hurt one the rest are liable to attack. Pheromones, you know!”

“I'm aware of the phenomena.” I growled. “Science Officer, remember? Now how far away from the hive do I have to go before they head back? One hundred feet? Two hundred...?”

“Ah!” The Timelord rubbed a hoof under his chin. “That may not work in this situation. Reason it out.” He said as I threw him a cold glare.

“You're a flower to them. Like the Bees of Earth, the Kel have been known to fly miles to a source of pollen. Of course you're not packing any pollen on you but insects are creatures of instinct and persistence. They're not about to give you up any time soon. Not, at least, until they've thoroughly investigated you.” He coughed apologetically. “We could be talking hours. Several of them. Gallopfreyan ones, if that's any consolation. Only seventy-seven percent of a Terrestrial one but about one hundred twenty percent of an Equestrin.” He smiled feebly in an attempt to cheer me up.

I would have bored holes in the little twerp with my eyes but I was distracted by a Kel landing on the end of my nose. I everted my lower lip and blew it off. It took it in stride and spiraled back to join his pals on my stomach.

“Swell.” I said with as much enthusiasm as a Vulcan at a Pep Rally. Then a thought suddenly occurred to me.

“Wait! If they're like bees they'll go dormant after dark. How long until sund...”

“It's mid-morning.” The Doctor pointed out. “And Summer, to boot! All you have to do is look at the Sun, you know.”

“How the Hell do I know what direction the sun rises on Luna-damned Gallopfrey?” I said hotly.

“It's a fact that an overwhelming proportion of worlds rotate clockwise on their axis as well as around their sun. ...And I'll thank you to mind your language when talking about my home world.” He gave me a quick, severe look before continuing. “There's only one thing for it, I'm afraid.”

I quirked an eyebrow at him... slowly.

“You'll have to take off your uniform shirt, drape it over a bush, and walk away slowly.” He said patiently.

“Oh for the love of...!” I bit off any further comment and counted to five hundred and twelve in base eight before continuing. “Look! Why not just light a fire and smoke the little bastards off?”

“Gallopfrey is a drier world than Terra, my dear Starry-Eyes. I'm not willing to chance a forest fire in order to preserve your over-weening sense of Equestrin modesty. Really! You people are a bad as the Victorians when it comes to...”

“All right! All right!” I growled, easing my hands around to tug my shirt up to give myself some slack, grumbling. “...And I'll thank you not to compare my people to an elitist bunch of uptight prudes!”

“Said the pot to the kettle! Just think of it as taking a stroll at Brighton Beach! A bra isn't so different from a bikini when push up come to shove, eh?” I wanted to wipe the smirk off his face with a shirt full of angry Kels...

“You might as well know, I don't wear bras. So Not... One ...Damn ...Word, got it?” I began easing my shirt off, pulling it up over my stomach and willing myself not to flinch when the little pests landed on me briefly before flying off in pursuit of my uniform.

He shrugged. “So you're taking a walk along the Riviera! There's no reason to be embarrassed. Your physiology is simple a consequence of being a mammal. Your, ah, distinguishing attributes are the salient reasons the species is called 'Mammalia', after all. I'm older than your Science of Electricity after all. Besides, I'm an alien! Your anatomy is a curiosity and not a cause for prurient interest. ...Oh, my word! That uniform does cover a lot, doesn't it? How do you manage not to fall flat on your face?”

“Again,” I ground out between clenched teeth as I eased the garment up over my head. “Not. One. Damn. Word!”

It was perhaps the slowest and most inelegant strip-tease on record. The bugs buzzing around my head and settling on my newly-bared bits were the only reason I didn't just shuck the damn thing off and chuck it into the brush. That and my erstwhile audience, that is! I had to pause the process in order to tug my sleeves off since I didn't want to risk having a bunch of the little things getting tangled up in them. As I mentioned, they would fly off and settle on me while I moved the garment. One particularly over-familiar little so-and-so managed to crawl into my cleavage. As Sunny pointed out long ago, my flesh is denser and harder than the Terrestrial norm. No give to it. He got squeezed between them, tighter than he cared for! I heard him buzz right before I felt a hot sting on the inside of my right breast. I threw my shirt to the ground and swatted him by instinct. With my reflexes it was no great challenge to get one bug!

Biocontrol or no biocontrol I broke into a sweat as the swarm around me buzzed in anger.

“... Oooh, crap.”

The Doctors' ears drooped. “I told you to be careful! Run! This way, to the water, hurry!”

He was off like a shot and it took me maybe a whole millisecond to lay in a pursuit course!

On an athletic track or even a few hundred yards of flat ground I would have been fine. Terrestrial insects can barely make twenty to twenty-five miles an hour in a calm breeze and, with my physique, I can make forty in a sprint! (As an Augment, I was automatically disqualified for track and field games back in Basic!) Even your run-of-the-mill Pony on the street would have had a fair chance to outrun this irate insect mob. Equines, after all, are born runners!

In an alien forest with dense undergrowth though, I just couldn't get up any real speed... not that I didn't try! I caught up with the fleeing Timelord in just a few seconds and immediately passed him up, dodging trees and collecting twigs, leaves and welts from every bush I plowed through! My insect escort kept up with me with no apparent effort... the little so-and-sos must have belonged to the Gallopfreyan Olympic Aerial Acrobatic Team!

“If you didn't mess with their nest, Genius, we wouldn't be in this mess!” I tossed over my shoulder, snapping my eyes back forward as the Doctor's voice rang out plaintively behind me.

“It was an accident! If Augments weren't so quick to resort to force we'd still be safe... ouch!”

“You sawed-off little...!” I dodged around a tree. “If I could get my hooves on you I'd use you as a flyswatter to take out the whole damn swarm! Serve you righ- yeow!”

My good luck ran out in mid-tirade. I'm more than twice as tall as the Doctor so I towered above the undergrowth. I couldn't see where I was putting my hooves! The first log I ran into must have been in an advanced state of decomposition because I pulverized it as my booted hoof swept through it. I stumbled, but recovered well enough. The second one, half a second or so later, was made of sterner stuff! My hoof stopped dead like I was trying to drop-kick the planet and I fell face-forward. I threw myself into a credible semblance of a shoulder-roll and sprang back up, my Equestrin body sending me springing into the air like it did back on Earth months earlier. I must have surprised the Kel, though. I plowed through the swarm on my way up, their hard little bodies bouncing off me like meteorites off the hull of the Hermes! Maybe they thought that I'd turned and attacked, maybe they were confused and were wary, maybe I was reading too much into the communal intelligence of the swarm. In any event it seemed to me that they pulled back away for a second to regroup. I would have had more time to think if they didn't already have a boarding party onboard stinging for all they were worth! (Unlike Terrestrial Bees, the Kel can sting over and over again... the little bastards!)

I had less than a second to scan the terrain and get a sense of the surroundings. The ground was sloping downwards to my left and the trees were thicker there. If Gallopfrey was anything like Equestris or Earth, that meant there was a stream or pond was nearby. The water the Doctor was talking about. I hope to Luna that he meant a swimming pool...

My time sense had slowed down in response to my stress levels. I twisted my body to avoid wrapping myself around a tree that happened to intersect the trajectory of my downward arc. I ducked my head under an oncoming limb but still collected a painful scrape as my back grazed the trunk. The Mare in my Head grimly added it to the tally of pain signals she was registering from elsewhere on my back, my neck, my stomach and my exposed breasts.

I pushed off with my right hoof as soon as it hit the ground, adjusting my course to follow the slope down to its terminus with no loss of speed or momentum. I had to cover my nose with one hoof. With perverse precision born of countless generations of adaptation the Kel were insinuating themselves into any and every vulnerable opening they could find. With my other hoof I raked them away from my eyes. I blessed Luna I was at least wearing pants... and damned the Kel as they found my armpits!

Instinct made me want to stop and slug it out with them but intellect forced me on. I ruthlessly squelched my growing panic as I crashed my way down to the dubious safety of the water. On Equestris mean things live in the water that made the Kel look like a soothing caress by comparison!

Just then my arms were tucked in tight to protect my armpits. I didn't have any arms free to steady me so the next obstacle to my hooves pitched me headlong. I tucked my limbs in and rolled downhill like a runaway boulder!

Somewhere on the way down I came into contact with an actual bolder, or a rock, anyway. I heard and felt the crack as entire constellations exploded behind my eyes!

I didn't lose consciousness but I was stunned just enough that I went limp and slid to a stop on my back to fetch up against another tree with my left shoulder. Damn Nature! There's a lot to be said for living in a closed environment!

There are safer ways to navigate a slope but damn few quicker ones, I suppose. I sprang to my hooves again and made off, pausing to kill a few more Kel out of sheer revenge. As I stood and charged off I could see the glint of water under the lowermost branches not a hundred feet away. Safety, I guess.

The Mare in my Head, safe and secure on her Bridge, told me not to be so picky. If I had the time I would have arranged for a swarm of Kel to pop out of the turbolift behind her. As it was I sent her a nasty note across her boards an I proceeded at maximum Warp toward the shore.

I couldn't have gotten there faster if I'd teleported! Yet, for all my urgency, I skidded to a stop on the muddy bank. All my years on Equestris just wouldn't let me jump in. I just couldn't!

The Mare in my Head called me... among other things... an idiot and engaged her manual overrides! I overrode them and offered a compromise. I would go in to a depth of about one foot and start splashing water at them. The water would drive them off sooner or later and besides, it wasn't as if they were gonna kill me with those bitty, little stingers anyway. There couldn't be more than a thousand or so of Kel in the immediate vicinity. Besides, what's mere pain to an Augment?

She pointed out the tally on her Damage Control Display and told me I was being irrational. I told her... in detail... what she could do with her displays and treated her to a quick slide show of all sorts of hostile aquatic critters from Equestrin Gnawers to Denebian Slime Devils to Terran Leeches and backed up my argument with a surge of pure, primal fear that threatened to overload her displays! When she called me 'suboptimal' the metaphorical gloves came off!

It was not my most rational moment, I'll freely admit, and I'm eternally grateful that the Eugenics Council back home couldn't see me at that moment. But, believe you me, I would have very much stormed a Roamulan bridge armed with a squirt-gun and wearing nothing but the flag of the Federation rather than jump in that water!

Looming threat of Discord or not we might still be debating the point if I didn't hear a noise over the buzzing of the Kel...

“Owowowow! Oof! Ouch!” The Doctor burst free of the undergrowth, coat-tails flapping, his pert bow-tie askew, and a look of unrestrained panic in his wide-open eyes as he pushed off with his hindlegs for that final leap for safety. Only in that split second after being airborne did he see me! The look on his face would have been comical under different circumstances. “Geroni-oh, no!!”

In his defense I imagine that he naturally assumed I'd be diving in headfirst and Discord take the stragglers! But my hooves were planted and I wasn't going to go anywhere! ...Or so I thought.

He caught me full in the face with his chest and momentum did the rest.

As it turned out there was a drop-off close to the shore... of course!

I toppled over backwards into nearly ten feet of cold, murky water. I heard the splash and felt the wet darkness cover me. Every scrap of Eugenic self-control vanished faster than Tyllae hunting down a fresh cookie! The frigid swirl of the water against my exposed skin was the flick of the fins of every water-loving horror every worlds of the Federation had to offer slickly darting in to investigate the morsel that had come its way! Aquatic weed trailed along my back and all I could imagine were the tentacles of Centauri Hydras, octopus arms or swarms of lampreys. It was dinner time and my name was 'entrée'!

I screamed under water and shoved the struggling Doctor away from me with all my strength... launching the hapless Timelord straight out of the water like a ballistic missile from an old-style submarine! I screwed my eyes shut and lashed out in all directions, Earth Pony enough even in that state of mind to make whatever ate me sorry it tangled with an Equestrin!

It couldn't have been more than a few seconds but it felt like an eternity, thrashing the cold water into foam with all the, pardon the expression, horsepower I could pack with each punch! I was beginning to run out of air when I realized I was standing on the bottom. I stood, preparing to jump for the surface.

My Equestrin physiology makes it impossible for me to swim. I'm far denser than water and there's just no way to displace enough of it to allow me to swim in the conventional sense. My only hope was to get my head out far enough to get a bearing on the nearest land and walk out, hopping up for a breath every couple of steps and hoping to Luna I didn't run into a deep spot! I straightened up for that jump and my head burst through the surface like Ponyzilla getting reading to teach Nip-Pon a lesson in humility in one of those Luna-awful movies in Sunny's collection.

I wished I had a thick rubber suit of my own just then! The Kel were on me in an instant, landing on my muzzle stinger-first, apparently and getting tangled in my mane to burrow through to my scalp even as they drowned. These guys were even more suicidal than Roamulans!

I ducked my head and scraped them off my face and out of my mane. I went to take a step and was horrified by the amount of force it took to lift my hoof. The bottom was soft and I was on the verge of getting stuck in it! Visions of quicksand and bottomless ooze sent a chill through me keener than the frigid water that had me in its icy touch.

I pulled a hoof free, the action driving the other one deeper into the muck. I wrenched that one free with a terrifying effort and raised my head for another breath. The shore was maybe two yards away and I was in water up to my throat. If I could get one hoof on it I'd make it back even if I had claw my own personal landing ramp out of it and to Hell with the Kel!

My head broke water again but this time I came up flinging sheets of water with my hooves. Unless those bugs had aqualungs they were gonna be out of luck. I was going to make it! I could keep them at bay until they gave up and I'd be safe. I had a plan with a reasonable chance of success and I squelched my fear far down within me. Don't think about the water, don't think of what's living there. Just forge on! Six or seven feet and I'd be safe. Home free!

I took a step, this time keeping my head above water while doing my impression of a localized tsunami with my hooves. The waters splashed, the Kel buzzed, and I bore resolutely for the bank grinning like a Klingon seeing a helpless enemy. Victory! Take that, Nature!

Something grabbed my mane and tugged, hard! Something scrambled its way across my broad back and wrapped its appendages across my shoulders and under my armpits. Something cold and wet and floppy draped itself over my head!

Just like that Primal Fear surged back! I screamed so loud they must've heard me back on Equestris!

I wrenched my body back and forth, ignoring the Kel and trying to reach whatever had latched onto my back. Augment or not, it's my one vulnerable point. I'm the first to admit, compared to a Terrestrial my body is wide and the space between my shoulders is impossible to reach with my hooves. I just don't bend that way!

I reached up to yank whatever covered my face away. I pulled with everything I had and it began to give. It was attached to whatever grabbed me but it was coming off! If it was part of whatever bloodthirsty critter that had me that was just too bad! It was slippery and thin, some sort of membranous webbing used by some Gallopfreyan sea monster to snare its prey no doubt. This monster was going to need plastic surgery by the time I got done with it! One more savage tug and it came free... and I found myself staring stupidly at the Doctor's long coat!

He'd clambered onto my back, of course, after grabbing a mouthful of my mane to pull himself close enough. I'd dislodged him by yanking the coat over his head and just then he was pony-paddling frantically behind me.

I whirled around, sending up a sheet of water to add to the anger of the Kel, and grabbed him by his skinny neck. I let him have it with every decibel I could muster!

“WHY WOULD YOU SHOVE ME INTO THE WATER, YOU FRIGGIN' MENACE? YOU... YOU ONE-PONY DISASTER AREA! I'M NOT SURPRISED YOU DESTROYED THIS PLACE! YOU PROBABLY BLEW THE DAMN PLANETARY POWER GRID TRYING TO CHANGE A LIGHT PANEL!!! I SHOULD'VE LET YOU GO ALONE TO THE DAMN KLINGONS! TEN SECONDS ONBOARD AND THEY'D BE SO MUCH SPACE DUST! HOW IN THE NAME OF SWEET SUFFERING LUNA DID YOU MANAGE TO LIVE TWO THOUSAND YEARS ANYWAY? YOU MUST HAVE NINE LIVES!!!”

As far a sonic assaults go it must have really been something! Not one Kel came near us the whole time I had him in my clutches... blown out of the air by the shockwave, doubtless. The Doctor didn't fare much better. His ears were blown back, his sodden mane streamed away from his panicked face with its bugged out eyes and his bedraggled bow tie on its false collar gave up the ghost and hung limp. It would have fallen off entirely if it hadn't been bunched up in my hooves!

My hooves... Only when the Doctor scrabbled at them with his own did I realize just how tight I was gripping him in my panic. Without further ceremony I let him go and he dropped out of sight. By the time he came gasping to the surface I'd retrieved the coat and draped it over us as a bug shelter. It had been what he was doing in the first case, of course. I held it up to give him breathing room. I could feel the Kel swarming onto the outside but their stingers couldn't penetrate its surface, thank goodness.

It was dark in there and I wondered if the Timelord would be able to see how ashamed and embarrassed I was.

Taking the Kel out of the immediate situation, or at least postponing them, brought my emotional state below critical mass. I was trembling at the thought of being up to my clavicle in alien water with Luna-knows-what swimming in it but at least I was back in control.

The Doctor coughed and tossed his head to get his mane out of his eyes. “... Help!” He shouted.

I got one arm under him just behind his forelegs and supported him. He hung limp in my grasp.

“I've got you, Doc. What's wrong?”

“What?” He shook his head and rubbed both his ears. “You'll have to speak up... just not quite so loudly! My word! Just like that one and only time I had a front row seat at the Disaster Area concert! Are my ears bleeding?”

“I can't tell, it's too dark.” I ramped my voice up a few decibels and continued. “What's wrong? Are. You. Hurt?”

The Timelord shook his head. “I can just barely swim. Haven't had much call to practice in this form, you see. Thank you, by the way!” He treated me to a happy-go-lucky smile as he took in our surroundings.

“Well here we are! Safe and sound in the end, eh?”

I had to force myself to keep my voice below a bellow!

“Safe? You call this safe??? All we have between us and ten thousand pissed-off bugs is this cockamamie coat, I'm up to my neck in ice water, and...” I stopped short as I felt something brush past my knees. Something else touched my belly! I became aware of movement in the water around me...

“Something just touched me! Several somethings!” I hissed. I tensed reflexively, squeezing the hapless Timelord to me.

“Oof! Steady on! I'm rather fond of breathing you know!”

“Doctor!” It took all I had to stay calm, believe me! “There's something in the water with us!” I gasped and stiffened as something ticked the small of my back.

“I daresay there is.” The Doctor retorted. “This is a working environment, after all! Life is everywhere! Nothing to worry about! Probably minnows or some such. You were kicking up the bottom quite a bit a moment ago. Stirred up a lot of food off the bottom that the local fish are taking advantage of, I should think! Good grief, My Dear, haven't you ever gone wading in a steam before? I seem to recall that there was a fair amount of open water on Equestris. Less than Dear Old Gallopfrey but still a respectable amount.”

“Listen, Genius!” I squirmed him around in my grip enough to get muzzle-to-muzzle and glared into his eyes! “If you'd ever been down to the surface you'd know that the water on Equestris is chock-full of very carnivorous life-forms that love Equestrin meat! I know Earth has its share of aquatic predators, too! What I need to know... and right now... is what Gallopfrey has swimming around in it!” I gave him just enough of a squeeze to let him know I meant business!

“My Dear Starry-Eyes!” The Doctor chuckled... until I applied a little more pressure. “You needn't worry!” He hastily added. “The deadliest thing you'll find here is a lost fishing hook. We'll be fine!” I kept locking eyes with him.

“Honestly! We will! Trust me! I know the wildlife of my own world!”

“Oh, yeah!” I snorted. “You're a real Genius all right!”

“I do wish you'd let that go already.” He said peevishly. “After all I'm not the 'Science Officer'” He lifted his hooves to make air quotes. “That decided to massacre a member of a distraught hive!”

“You didn't get stung in the boobs, either! Let me stick one of the little bastards on your tender bits and see what your reaction is! And who made them 'distraught' in the first place, Genius?”

“Now see here, My Dear Girl...!” The Timelord took a deep breath and continued in a much quieter voice. “Starry. I'm truly sorry about how this came about. I appreciate your state of hydrophobia but there really wasn't anything else for it. There just wasn't anywhere else to get away from them, now wasn't there? I promise you that you needn't be so frightened. It will be all right. You don't have to tremble like that!”

“On top of everything else, Genius,” I said coldly. “ I'm freezing. Equestris is about fifteen degrees warmer than Earth or Gallopfrey. If we don't get away from these damn bugs in the next five minutes I'm going ashore to have it out with them one way or another. And as much as I'd enjoy using you as a flyswatter I'm going to leave you in the shallows. Go find Sunny and Ditzy maybe they'll be able to come up with something... or at least treat me for an overdose of Kel venom.” I smiled grimly. “Unless you have a better idea.”

“Poor, poor Starry-Eyes.” He said tenderly. “Are all Equestrins so fatalistic, I wonder? Never count your friends out, My Dear! And, current events nonwithstanding, I am your friend. Even more, I'm The Doctor... and I have a plan!”

Chapter Fifty-Nine Bonding

Chapter Fifty-Nine Bonding

CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE

BONDING

...If he was looking for applause he was sorely mistaken!

“Don't look like that!” He looked hurt. “Really! You Equestrins are such pessimists! A couple of minor mishaps and you're ready to throw in the old metaphorical towel! Is this the attitude that allowed you to build a colony from scratch on a marginally habitable world? Where's that fighting spirit, eh? The never-say-die attitude? The-”

“Back Home.” I interrupted in a dangerous tone, “We never say die, we say 'kill'. It's a philosophy that stood us in good stead for two hundred years against Tellarites, Orions, and the fauna of Equestris. You're about five seconds from having me apply it to crazy Timelords. What's the plan, Genius?”

The Doctor sighed. “Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent. The mark of the Barbarian. If I had the merest inkling that you were either of those I would never had let you into the TARDIS. I daresay the old girl would have locked you out herself. She's almost as astute a judge of Pony character as I am! ...Or were we both wrong, Starry-Eyes? Somehow I just can't believe we both could be that far off the mark in this particular instance.” He wriggled in my grasp to bring his face more on a level to mine. He cocked his head to regard me with one bright blue eye... I was suddenly struck by how much the light in his eye was so much like Tyllae's... and he winked.

I just deflated. What was the point of being irritated at a Pony who flatly refused to acknowledge it? How was that going to help? I didn't like the way he did things... especially the cavalier way he treated what I knew were absolute laws of physics... but that didn't make him a bad person as such. The worst thing I could honestly say about him at this point in time was that he rubbed me the wrong way. Somepony who had such resources at his disposal should behave in a much more... well, rational manner, damnit!

The Mare In My Head gave me a poke and wondered how many by-Luna Time Machines I had that I wasn't telling her about? If I were in a position to be able to regard all of History at once from the outside what would that do to the way I looked at things?

Something I'd read in one of Sunny's books occurred to me. The Mare In My Head highlighted the line and put it on her Main Viewer. “Sanity is relative.” Who was that author? Riven? Given? It was the story of the discovery of an enormous artifact discovered orbiting a distant star. I found the mechanics of the tale just a bit much to swallow but I enjoyed the characters...

I shut my eyes for a moment and sighed. If I could get along with a Tellerite I could get along with an eccentric Pony with a Magic Blue Box, couldn't I? Was I that inflexible that I couldn't trust anypony's judgment but my own? Tyllae thought the Worlds of him... and I trusted her. Time to be the enlightened Pony of the twenty-third Century I always thought myself to be. Time to act like a civilized Pony of the Federation instead of a bloody-minded Roamulan or Klingon... or a petulant, whiny Filly having a Bad Day at the very least!

The Mare In My Head called me a good girl and sent me a candy apple ration bar whose memory I savored...

I opened my eyes and caught The Doctor's gaze.

“All right, Doc!” Despite the situation I summoned a smile, not my best but I put as much sincerity as I could into it. “What's the plan?”

“Right!” The Doctor rubbed his forehooves together briskly, causing the jacket around our heads to collapse. On the other side of that flimsy barrier the Kel buzzed and swarmed angrily. I propped the thing up with my arms as their stingers sank in again and again just microns short of my skin!

Without my support the Doctor nearly sank out of sight. Being so close to me he couldn't... with his quadrupedal arrangement... grab enough water to displace. He scraped me with his hooves as he flailed wildly for just a second before reflexively wrapping as much of me as he could with all four legs. It almost worked. His eyes and muzzle stayed up but his grip kept slipping on my wet fur.

“Oh, dear!” He muttered as he kept trying to scrabble up my side. “Ohdearohdearohdear..!”

There just wasn't anything else for it. I considered draping him across my shoulders but that would have pulled so much of our protective garment up that there would have been a real threat of letting the damn bugs in. I ducked down to give myself some jacket-slack, grabbed the gasping Timelord, and tucked him up to his shoulders into my cleavage and stood up enough for me to prop our impromptu tent up once again.

“My word!” He paused to give his mane as much a shake as he could in the cramped quarters. Before I could open my mouth my face was splattered with river water and the ends of his mane!

“I do beg your pardon! Let me get that for your! Purely reflex on my part! So sorry!” He brushed my own mane out of my eyes as I glared and resolutely ground my teeth, keeping my mouth shut against a whole slew of acerbic comments!

“I'm sorry about this, ah, set-up...” At least he had the grace to look embarrassed at our situation. “...But I do need my hooves free for this!” Then he went an ruined it. “My word! But that's quite a, well, grip you have there! I wouldn't have thought it possible but here I am, snug as a bug in a rug, eh!” He bounced a little, experimenting no doubt to see how secure he was. He tapped my right breast with a hoof, peering closely at it.

“You're flesh is naturally dense, isn't it? Well, UN-naturally dense in view of your species Genetic rearrangement, that is. Then again, it would be purely natural to you, wouldn't it? Tsk, tsk, tsk! No wonder you don't like deep water! You'd go right to the bottom in an instant like you were wearing a suit of armor! You know, in other upright bipedal mammals female breasts are collections of fatty deposits, naturally buoyant, but you might as well have a pair of cannonballs strapped round your neck for all the good these do you in the water!” Absorbed in his observations, he stretched a hoof out to either side and hefted each one experimentally with his head laying on my collarbone as he gave me a purely scientific grope!

“Great Whickering Stallions!” He exclaimed. “Thirty-six pounders if they're an ounce! Ha! Fit for the guns of a ship of the line... or a battleship!” He gave them both another squeeze. “... I wonder what the specific gravity comes out to?”

That water was damn cold! Colder than that brush with absolute zero I got when that Roamulan attack decompressed the Bridge once during the War. Caper and I herded the rest into the turbolift. There was no way I'd fit in there with them. So I threw Caper on top of the rest and sent the thing on its way before ripping a seat cushion off a chair and stuffing it into the crack as my ears popped and I screwed my eyes shut to keep them from freezing open. I still remember how the sound... and the air that carried it... slowly died away as the cold settled round me. For the record it was Caper that came back for me. The sensors confirmed that it was less than fifteen percent air pressure when he entered the Bridge. There wasn't air enough to shout so he kicked me square in the butt to get my attention and we got ourselves back to safety with a mild case of frostbite for our trouble.

Somehow the water felt even colder than that! Even so, I could feel my ears and cheeks burning as the absent-minded Timelord indulged his scientific curiosity!

I put up with a lot from Terrestrial Ponies when it comes to my size, mass and physical dimensions. Astonishment, disbelief, lust from males, and naked envy from other females. In the privacy of our quarters Sunny has a Field Day, but she loves me and I don't mind the attention from her. ...But to be buckhandled in an alien river by this little weirdo was a whole different grade of ore! Regardless of the circumstances! ...And that crack about fatty deposits was, in my opinion, a low and un-called for comment!

Enlightened foal of the Federation or not, my first impulse was grab him by his skinny neck and make good on my threat of using him as a flyswatter!

I could... I should... have shouted, laid his ears back with every decibel I could muster before I showed him what Equestrin mares do to bucks who take liberties they shouldn't! But I was better than that, wasn't I? I wanted to believe so, anyway. I shoved my emotion down so hard that my voice was barely a squeak with the effort.

“Doc... Take. A .Good. Look. At. What. You. Are. Doing.” I said quietly, trembling with far more than the cold.

“Hm?” He paused in prodding me. “I was wondering just how much of you is water. On Earth, seven-tenths of the world is water. Land species have pretty much the same ratio. I would guess that Equestris is closer to... what? Twenty-five percent? Thirty?” He palpitated my right breast... his favorite, I guess... before continuing. “Certainly less than fifty percent or you'd achieve neutral buoyancy... depending on the salinity of the water, of course. Pretty brainy of the Eugenicists to adapt you like that! Hats off to them! I always say that if you're going to meddle with genetics take a look at the local conditions first! Otherwise you'd have to retro-adapt the entire ecology to fit the new species which is more trouble than it's worth quite frankly. The Daleks, though, didn't give a wet slap about...”

“I...” I coughed and lowered my voice to a deadly growl. “Am going to give you a VERY wet slap into next week if you don't stop pawing my boobs and just get on with this plan of yours!” If eyes were balephasers he would have become a cloud of baryons just then.

“What?” He blinked at me for a moment. “Oh. Oh!” Even in the dimness I could feel him blush. He snapped his hooves back to himself so fast that, if he wasn't so... firmly wedged into place he would have sunk like a stone.

“Well...” He cleared his throat a couple of times. “I just occurred to me while I was in this, um, position...”

“This very awkward and embarrassing position...” I injected coldly.

“Precisely!” He agreed. “A very awkward and, um, unfortunate position. That I came to be in not of my own volition, I hasten to add!... ”

“Of course.” I said flatly. “It isn't as if you knocked me into deep water. Deep freezing water, I hasten to add, full of Luna-knows what hungry creepy-crawlies after managing to knock over a beehive and setting a million bugs...”

“Kel! They're called Kel, not bees!” He sputtered petulantly, the crotchety old buck side of his persona popping up. “And I cannot believe you're going to start going on about that again! That was an accident! Purely an unfortunate accident!”

“Like you 'accidentally' copping a cheap feel just now?” I said acidly, making air quotes that made the Kel outside thrum in agitation.

“I was curious as to the reason for your ultra-dense flesh, Madame! Nothing more and nothing less!” He said indignantly. “A curiosity, I might add, that leads me to theorize that this density phenomena extends to the matter between your mule ears!” He reached up and tapped my right ear to illustrate. “I can see why you wear your mane in such an overbuilt fashion!”

I was shocked. There are no Donkeys on Equestris. The Founders never recruited them in their drive to improve the Pony genome. But the cultural stereotype of crude, stupid, stubborn behavior persisted and was passed down in the barracks and the pubs for generations. That he would apply that to me caught me completely by surprise. There was a lot of gutter language the Doctor might have used that wouldn't have hit me harder!

“Mule.” I repeated calmly. “Mule, is it? Maybe it slipped your mind, genius, but mules are sterile and there aren't any Donkeys back Home. If you're suggesting Daddy had a fling with a passing Starfleet...”

“Well the behavioral precedent is there, isn't it?” He said waspishly. “Reckless behavior seems to be in your genes. I mean, really now, what sort of rational being would go tearing off in a weepy fit on board an Alien Time Machine in a drunken rampage? Time for a little chlorine in the old gene pool if you ask me!”

“You fed me that hooch in the first place, genius!” I said hotly, my voice rising despite my best intentions. “And what kind of scientific prodigy goes tear-assing through Time and Space in an antique phone booth? Can't you afford a decent Engineering Staff? The whole damn thing looks like it was put together from parts on a scrap pile!”

That crack wounded him as much as the Mule comment did me!

“Now see here, Madame!” He reared up, his head tenting the jacket as his eyes glinted in the dimness. “It's a Police Box and... and...” He sputtered and waved his hooves for a moment before abruptly going very still. I felt his body quiver and I thought that he was shivering... I know I was! But me ears caught the sound of a quiet chuckle that grew progressively louder.

“...Do you have any idea how preposterous we must look right now?” He giggled. “Oh me, oh me, oh my!” His giggle became a laugh that set me jiggling.

“I... am an idiot!” He declared and wiped at his eyes. “You know, if we survive the future I'd very much like to have you come back aboard the TARDIS for a while. I do like you, bless your stubborn heart!”

“Stubborn like a mule, maybe?” I asked warily, not sure what to make of the sudden turn of events.

“Do let that pass, my dear!” He patted the side of my muzzle. “And try to forgive a two thousand year old madpony, won't you?” He tugged at one of his ears and looked away. “I do tend to get sidetracked by very interesting things...” His gaze swept back to me and he added. “... And, bless me, you are a very interesting Pony, my dear Starry-Eyes!”

“Well... you're OK too, Doc.” I admitted. “I'm sorry as well. You haven't caught me on one of my better days, I'm afraid.” I paused, unsure of what to do next. In the end I just gave into instinct and administered a chaste and sincere kiss on the end of his muzzle.

“Friends?” I offered.

“Oh, indubitably!” He exclaimed then briskly rubbed his hooves together.

“Right! Now all I need to do is get my Sonic! It's in one of the pockets of my jacket.”

“What's it look like?” I spread my arms a little, making more room for him to rummage his pockets.

“Oh, I used it in the Control Room... and the Engine Room, as a matter of fact. I made one for Ditzy, too! But that doesn't help us much now, doesn't it?”

“That cylindrical gizmo you had?” I felt my ears perk up with curiosity, trying to distract myself from the cold tightening its grip.

“The very same!” The Doctor said proudly. “The Sonic Screwdriver! A neat little device. It uses sound to do all sorts of fascinating things, think of it as the ultimate multi-tool! I'm quite proud of it as a matter of fact.” He just couldn't keep the smugness out of his voice.

“No kidding? I'd like to get a closer look at it. Jerry'd give his left arm for something like that! Where did you keep it?” My hooves were full so I just watched him rummage.

“In my inside left breast pocket next to my hearts... oh, crumbs!”

The Mare In My Head was still mulling over the word 'hearts'. “What?”

The Doctor cleared his throat quietly. “My jacket seems to be, ah, inside-out. The pocket we want is on the...” He gestured vaguely.

“... Outside.” I finished. “With the Kel.” I sighed. “Well of course it is!”

“It must have happened when you...” He made a tugging gesture, keeping his voice carefully and casually neutral.

“Thought I was being jumped by a Sea Monster.” I finished for him, nodding. I sighed again.

“Well, I did say it wasn't one of my better days!” I squared my shoulders. “OK, here's the plan! I'm going to duck down and pull the jacket back around. Hopefully the water will stun them long enough for you to do what you have to do. Keep your hooves crossed that the damn thing doesn't fall out in the process! If it does, we go diving. Ready?” I prepared to take a deep breath.

“Wait a tick!” The Doctor poked his jacket then laid an ear cautiously against it. “I do believe they've moved off! Hmm... I wouldn't have thought they'd give up so quickly.”

I realized with a start that the Kel were gone! I strained my ears, listening. Sure enough the Kel were no longer swarming our cover, but they were still in the vicinity. I could still hear them close by, their angry buzz now more muted and preoccupied.

We exchanged glances and nodded to each other.

“On three.” I said. “One... ”

“Quick peek!” The Doctor cried out, flipping our cover over his head in a hood and peering over my shoulder!

“Oh! That explains that, doesn't it?” He said, sounding pleased.

I made a note to the Mare In My Head to remind me to never take the Timelord on a Landing Party and pulled the jacket off completely to see for myself.

The sunlight made me blink for an instant but when the glare died out I found myself staring at Our Favorite Fey hovering less than a yard away waving her little hooves.

“Hi-hii, Starry!” She caroled. “All safe to come out now, yep, yep, yep! Buggy-bugs got more fun stuff to do now!” She pointed a teeny hoof toward the riverbank.

There, not far beyond the water, lay three lavishly frosted cupcakes, a slice of cake, and a generous wedge of pie nearly buried in an industrious swarm of Kel! While we watched, a thin rope of them coalesced out of the swarm to trail off into the woods in the general direction from which we came. The Kel were taking their bounty back to their Hive one bug-sized bite at a time!

I didn't pause to question my good fortune. Without a comment of my own, but plenty of annoyed and indignant grumpiness from the Doctor, I slung him under one arm and forged my way to the shore farther downstream from the distracted swarm!

I needed both hooves to negotiate the steep shelf near shore so, without further ceremony, I simply tossed the Timelord to a dry landing before scrambling out. Without a word I made my way further downstream till a bend in the water put us out of sight of the swarm. There on a sunny bit of shore I sank to my knees with my back resolutely toward the river. The Doctor's wadded-up jacket I simply let fall in a sodden heap. The sunlight felt good, but I was trembling and soaking. I was safe after what seemed to be ages. Oh, Hell! No point in sugar-coating it. For the second time that day I sat and cried like a little Filly...

I was even a little hysterical, I remember sobbing to Tyllae about drowning will all the nasty critters in the water... or something along those lines. Way, way down on the list of My Proudest Moments! I can't remember any more and I quite frankly don't like trying. Enough said.

The first coherent thought I had was that the tears were messing with my vision. It didn't go away when I blinked and I suddenly realized I was seeing the world through a shimmering pink haze. Tyllae, sopping wet from wriggling through my dripping mane, was cuddled up to my ear and healing me. She spoke to me, or maybe it was Faery Singing. It wasn't Standard, that much I remember! I can't recall any of the words, they just slipped past the cognitive part of my mind and went much deeper. I do remember the assurance, the love, and and the warmth going straight to my heart of hearts more potently than any slug of uskebaugh or alien booze.

I reached up and took her in my hoof, cutting her song short, and gave her a grateful kiss before hugging her close.

“Thanks, Squirt! Uh, sorry to get you all wet...”

“Aww! Don't worry 'bout Tyllae, Starry-Starry!” The little tyke beamed up at me. “Feeling all Better now?”

“I am at that, kid. Guess I'm not so tough an Augment as I thought, am I?”

“Fifflesticks, Starry! Everypony gets sad and scardey-scared sometimes! Remember poor Tyllae the night Tyllae came? Starry sang to Tyllae an makea all better. Tyllae got to do samea for Starry, that's all! Tyllae loves Starry! Tyllae helps Starry like Starry helped Tyllae. All oakey-dokes now, yep, yep, yep!”

With that she leaped off my hand, flitting off a safe distance to whirl in place until she was a soft blur. The sunlight made a rainbow aura out of the mist of water she flung off. She stopped dead in mid-air doing a victory pose. “Ta-daaaaah!”

I couldn't help but to smile. “Show off! I don't suppose you can conjure me up a towel or something?”

“Nope, nope, nope! Tyllae can't get back to Her-mees till TARDIS gets closer. Sorry-sorry, Starry!”

I nodded. “Well there's nothing else for it then. You'd better get back a little, kiddo!” I rose and began squeezing the water out of mane. It took a little doing, thick and heavy as it was it held a lot of water! I wound things up with a vigorous full-body shake that left me standing in a the center of a patch of very damp ground indeed!

The Faery was doubled-over laughing in mid-air!

“Hay! Don't knock it, kid! It worked didn't it?”

“Not unlike the 'Twist', as I remember... if one were to be doing it in a downpour!”

I turned. The Doctor was sitting on the grass upon which he'd spread out his worse-for-the-wear bow tie with its false collar. He'd been pressing the excess water out with his hooves and had paused to watch my performance. He was wet but not dripping, anyway. I'm sure he'd had a good shake of his own while I was... indisposed.

The old buck wasn't in much better condition than his tie. There are collapsed diggings back Home that looked better than the Timelord just then! He smiled at me around his swelling welts and stings. It made me feel guilty about my present condition.

“I thought it better to leave you be...” He said apologetically. “You were in capable hooves and I'm just not much of a 'hugger', if you take my meaning. Beyond Miss Doo, I mean!” He winked and then winced. “Ow.”

“Not a problem, Doc. Neither am I... beyond my immediate circle! Tyllae? Can you do that healing trick with Timelords?”

“I would be very grateful if you would.” The Doctor said. “I ask you three times, as a matter of fact!”

“Aww! Dokker don hafta ask! Any Faery would do!” She zipped up and landed delicately on his head. Her antennae waved and soft, pink light flowed over the little stallion who shut his eyes and sighed.

“Oooh, that's good! Almost makes me want to learn Magic!”

I paused to pick up his sodden jacket and began to carefully wring it out, feeling for anything in the pockets that I might damage in the process. Seemed empty to me! I shook it out as I approached.

“I think you'd be out of luck on that score, Doc! Unless you have a false horn to go with that false collar! Sorry, but you're screwdriver must be on the bottom after all.”

He opened one eye and regarded me lazily through the healing aura. “Hm? Oh I don't know about that.” He said lazily. “Oh, just turn it upside-down. I've got very deep pockets, you know.” He went back to relaxing under the Fey's ministrations.

I shrugged and upended the thing, holding the sleeves up clear of the ground... and danced back with a yelp as a torrent of somewhat murky water splashed around my boots!

With the water came a collection of …stuff!

I recognized the wallet holding the Psychic Paper, the bundle of pencils and compass I'd seen earlier, and the sodden and wrecked crossword puzzle. A red rubber ball, the mushy remains of a muffin, an archaic vacuum tube, a single chopstick, an hourglass egg-timer, an old-style CD in a clear jewel-case, a folding fan painted in a swirl of garish colors, something like a spray hypo, a few coins of bright silver, a recorder, (“I'd been wondering where that went!”) a cloth measuring tape, a tattered ticket to something called 'Woodstock', a neat looking smoking pipe with brass bands on the bowl, a few un-inflated balloons, and, finally, the Sonic clattered onto the pile!

Without moving my head, I gave the Doctor a look.

He, of course, was looking back with a smug smile on his lips.

“Bigger on the inside, of course! Handy old trick, that! The rest must be log-jammed somewhere. Oh, well! At least the water's out now. Thank you, Starry!”

“Extra-damn-dimensional pockets!” I shook my head. “Well, why should the TARDIS have all the fun?” I flipped through the eclectic collection with the tip of my boot. “What's the hypo for, Doc?”

“That?” He craned his head to look. “Oh, that's a stimpack. Not quite on a par with healing potions but very useful nonetheless! Ought to be a couple of Rad-Aways and a Rad-X or two in there somewhere...”

“I'll take your word for it.” I said, refusing to rise to the bait. I gave the thing another wringing and waited for our Number One Medical Assistant to finish before tossing it over him. Tyllae dodged away, giggling, just in time to keep from being engulfed.

I turned my attention to her as he struggled out from underneath.

“Good timing, kiddo! I just wish you'd gotten there a few minutes sooner.”

“Tyllae came almosta at once, Starry! Felt Starry get all scardey-scared but Tyllae waited jussa little before Tyllae talked to buzzy-bees.”

I blinked. “What the heck for? I was freezing in there!”

“Tyllae knows! But Tyllae sees, Starry! Starry anna Dokker hada work things out first, yep, yep, yep! Starry an Dokker too mucha like to get along righta way, nope, nope, nope!” The little mite shook her head till her antenna jangled!

I gave her my best Vulcan eyebrow. “I... say what now?”

The Doctor said nothing. He'd fished the Sonic out of the motley collection and held it in his teeth. He pressed a stud with a hoof and played the trilling, buzzing thing over his bow tie as he watched us intently.

The little Fey held up one hoof. “Dokker an Starry both very, very, very strong Ponies... inna own way!” She declared. “Both hava own way to do things. Tyllae is not tryna sound mean, nope, nope, nope! But Starry anna Dokker are fulla selves! Both strong inna head an heart! So strong that both sometimes forget there other ways that work jussa good. Butta heads alla time like deers, yep, yep, yep! Own ways notta only ways! Dokker an Starry just hadda take time to see is all. Jus hadda take time an lissen, really lissen to each others hearts an see how good each other is. Starry an Dokker very, very, very smart. Wise little Tyllae wanted Starry an Dokker have time enough to see smarts inna hearts, yep, yep, yep!” She cocked her elfin head. “That maka sense... or does Tyllae needa gather all Tyllae to self so can talka better? Poor Tyllae can't go Other Side no more, nope, nope, nope! But Tyllae can try!”

“I think...” The Doctor said slowly. “That she just told us that we've both been a throwing our rather inflated egos around at each other. Oh, Dear! I rather hoped I was beyond that at this stage in my lives.” He finished almost to himself.

I opened my mouth in denial... and shut it with a 'clop'. I wasn't an egomaniac... was I? I pretty much convinced myself that, based on superficial observations, the Doctor was what he claimed to be... a madpony. A madpony with flashes of brilliance, to be sure, but a madpony with all the negative stigmas attached to the title. I chose not to dwell on the inconvenient possibility that he was more than he seemed. How many other Ponies... and other people... had I done that with? (Images of a certain dove-gray and blonde Pegasus danced across the screen of the Mare In My Head...) Starfleet had shown me a way that worked for me but who was I to say that it was the best way for everyone? Hoo-buck! It really was a good thing the Eugenicists couldn't see me now! Then again... who were they? I shook my head then just let it drop with a rueful chuckle.

“We're lucky she did it this way! If she'd gone all Otherside on us she probably would have saved herself the trouble and banged our coconuts together to make us see reason!”

“Or stars at least!” The Doctor agreed. “I've seen the Fey in action before! Thank you, Tyllae, for your forbearance. ...We must seem a pretty rum lot to you, eh?”

“Oh husha-husha!” Tyllae waved a dismissive little hoof. “Tyllae goofs plenny times! Faeries goof plenny times in alla years! Tooka long, long, long time before could unnerstan sometimes just can't teach, gotta let goof in order to learn, yep, yep, yep!”

“It's certainly nice to know that I'm not too old to learn a thing or two.” The Doctor admitted, lifting his tie and eyeing it critically. He passed it through his hooves, trying to smooth the wrinkles out. He sighed and then looped the thing around his neck.

“Tyllae, I wonder if you'd pop back and let the others know that we'll be along in just a little bit. I just want to get presentable first.”

“Speaking of which...” I cleared my throat and gestured toward my upper anatomy.

“I'd offer you my jacket but it just wouldn't be up to the occasion, wouldn't it?” He stuck his chin straight out and began to fiddle with his tie.

“Now that the Kel are distracted maybe I could go back and liberate my shirt... ?” I wasn't crazy about the idea. The Mare In My Head was even less enthusiastic about the prospect.

“Nu-uh!” Tyllae shook her head emphatically. “Buzzy-bees still very, very, very mad at poor Starry, yep, yep, yep! Starry shouldn't go back there notta for one little second, nope, nope, NOPE!”

I sagged, disgusted. “Figgers.”

“Oh, I don't know!” The Timelord rolled his eyes away innocently. “Your new look does have a certain 'Amazon' appeal to it. Very intimidating! Makes a body want to look, er, think twice before trying anything!” His smirk didn't last a second before he bobbled his attempt at tying his knot.

“'Twice'! Har-dee-har-har.” I snarked, folding my arms across me defensively.

“Jussa follow water!” Tyllae pointed farther downstream. “Don't worry, nope, nope, nope! Plenny, plenny, plenny food! Tyllae tell Sunny an Ditzy all OK! Bye-bye!”

She piffed away only to reappear in front of the Doctor's muzzle. She administered a teeny, elfin kissed before piffing away to do the same for me. He bobbled the knot again, muttering.

“Dokker wanna say more to Starry, yep, yep, yep!” She whispered confidentially before disappearing one last time.

I turned to look at the Timelord as he fumbled with his bow-tie. Oh, well...

“Let me see that thing, Doc.”

I knelt in front of him and still had to lean down in order to get a good look at what he was doing.

“Have you ever tied one of these before?” He wondered.

“The topology can't be that hard to figure out.” I assured him. “Pick your chin up!”

He craned his head up obediently and let me get to work. After a few moments he spoke.

“Fourteen.” He said.

“Hm?” I was distracted. Given the shape of the thing it was obvious how it was supposed to end up. My problem was that it was just about at the limit of my manual dexterity.

“Fourteen lives, not nine.” He said quietly. “I've lived thirteen lifetimes. This is my fourteenth. When Timelords die their bodies... “

My conversation with K-9 reoccurred to me. “'Regenerate'. K-9 told me.”

“That little tin-plated blabbermouth!”

“Keep your chin up and stop moving around, damnit!” I growled not unkindly. “I'm at the tricky bit!”

I had to back up a step and start again...

“So... you get born again? As an infant?” I shook my head. “I'd hate to have to go through puberty that many times!”

The Doctor chuckled. “No, no. Once an adult always an adult, eh? Regeneration is always into a fully grown format... though there can be quite a variation in the apparent age afterwards.”

I paused in the process of wrapping up the project. “You can come back as an old buck? Hard to see the evolutionary advantages of that! … Unless it isn't strictly a natural selection at work. Did your folk dabble in Augmentation, Doc?” I finished the knot and drew it tight.

The Doctor subtly changed the subject. The little fink made a faint strangling noise, making vague motions toward his neck. I was this close to undoing the thing when I caught the impish gleam in his eye!

“Ha... ha. You don't like that knot? Let me show you another one called 'The Alcatraz Ascot'! A real once-in-a-lifetime experience. Thirteen turns and a big loop! Fix you right up!”

“This will do nicely... as long as you got the bow straight! I wish I had a mirror. In any event, I make it a point never to be hung with anything except a new rope. If you're going to do these things you may as well do them right, eh? Hold this a moment, won't you?” He snatched the jacket off his back with his teeth and presented it to me with a muffled “Pease?”

I held the thing for him as he fished the Sonic device off the pile, stuck it in his mouth and played it over the damp garment. As I watched, the wrinkles relaxed and the vast majority of the remaining moisture wafted away... along with the mud and stains it'd collected. Neat job, that!

“Just a bit of Gallopfreyan dry cleaning, isn't it? The Sonic is the best idea I every had even if I do say so myself! Just one more thing if you would? Hold this open over and just behind me... yes, just like that...”

He backed into position and then reared. He slipped his hooves into the sleeves with practiced precision and dropped back to the ground with the jacket neatly arrayed over his back!

“Oh, much better!” He beamed. “I do love this coat! The patches make me look scholarly, don't you think?” He paused to admire the thing for just a moment before picking the Sonic up in his mouth once again.

“Ow 'is yer 'urn! 'Ont take a tick!” He made a twirly-motion with one hoof to get me to turn around. I stood at Parade Rest while he gave me a sonic once-over. He even ran the thing over my tail and made it presentable, though I warned him off with a look when he began to smooth the tangles and snarls out with a hoof. My Personal Space had been through enough already!

He looked hurt so I didn't object when he motioned me lower so he could do my mane. That was a much more involved situation, as mentioned before I have a lot of mane!

He gave my knees another dust off as I stood to rake it all back into place with my fingers.

He carefully put the thing back into his inside breast pocket before running a hoof through his own mane.

“There we are! A little worse for the wear but all's well that ends well, eh?”

“Thanks, Doc! You know, Starfleet's been doing some experimenting with ultrasonic cleaning systems as a way to take some of the load off the reclamation systems onboard our ships. The Hermes has a prototype in the locker rooms in Recreation. Never used it, myself. I don't have a hope in Hell of getting inside! It seemed to me to be a dubious way of getting clean but, now, I don't know...” I fingered my mane speculatively.

“It has the value of being expedient...” The Doctor conceded. “But nothing quite beats a good, hot shower after a stressful day, to my way of thinking!”

“Especially if you have a good, hot someone on hoof to scrub your back!” I gave him a wink.

It was just a little barracks-talk. We were friends now that we'd gone through our Faery-inspired team building exercise. Still, remembering what Tyllae said about the Doctor destroying the planet, I think I was just casting about for some way to understand what kind of person he had to be to bring himself to do it. I had the impression that he genuinely liked the place, after all, who doesn't love their Home? What would drive me to kill Equestris? Would I do it to save the Federation? The Mare In My Head gave me a disapproving look but I ignored her.

The Doctor chuckled quietly, looking away. “Well, there's a lot to be said for that isn't there?” He sat by the pile and began re-loading his improbable pockets in silence. He paused as he picked up the recorder and brought it to his lips. The holes were too impossibly close together to manage with actual hooves... yet he managed a few sweet notes before going off-key. He sighed and put it away in a pocket by itself before turning to regard me. I had the uncomfortable but certain feeling he was privy to what was going through my mind. Were Timelords empathic?

“It wasn't an accident, you know.” He said quietly. His eyes were absolutely neutral. There was no plea for understanding or sympathy, not even the resignation of martyrdom. He just wanted me to know... because he counted me among his friends.

The Mare In My Head had just enough time to warn me about getting what I wanted when he continued.

“It was the climax of the Time War. Aeons of conflict with the Daleks had come to fruition... and we were losing. They brought every horrible, horrible weapon and ship they had for this Last Fight. We'd used every last terrible secret we'd secreted away in our Archives, all the ancient and horrendous things the Timelords had made in our long history.” He paused again, his eyes looking far, far back at something that made him blanch even from here.

“But the difference between Timelord and Dalek was that they never hesitated to use what they had made ever! We hesitated... and it cost us everything. By the time we employed them it was far, far too late.” He left off and stared down between his hooves for such a long time I almost spoke... though what could I have possibly offered by way of comfort or understanding?

“There was only one weapon left in our Arsenal by the time their ships had ringed Gallopfrey. More a concept than an actual weapon, it could never have been tested. You see...” He waved a hoof vaguely in an effort to find the words, then, “It would destroy Time itself. Well, the bits of it belonging to its creators at least. Timelords made it and it would burn the Timelords out of Time Itself and all things touched by them. So, since our History encompassed all of Time itself, setting the thing off would erase all of Time. That's what the models said, anyway. What madpony would ever dream of using it? Under what circumstances? There were just too many uncertainties. Only a madman... madpony... would dream of using it. … A madpony.”

He lifted a hoof and pointed away across the river. “Out there in The Dry Lands, beyond the hills, is a barn.” The barest ghost of a smile flitted across his face. “You might say that I seized The Moment.” He flicked me a glance. I had the impression that, somehow, it was a pun. The Mare In My Head and I exchanged looks.

The Doctor went on in a quiet tone that sank closer to a whisper with every word. “ I took it there and... well... did it. Gallopfrey burned... the Daleks burned... the Vortex screamed.”

He went silent but not unmoving. He pawed the ground and brought up a hoof-full of rich soil worth a mine owners salary back Home. He let it fall. His face worked almost as if he was working on a sneeze. His sniffled once and looked around at several nothings in particular with bright, bright eyes that blinked rapidly.

On Gallopfrey as on Earth or Equestris... bucks don't cry. ...Except when they think nopony can hear them. It must be something in the Universe's DNA that makes them all that way.

I remember Daddy sobbing to himself in the night and I went into action before The Mare In My Head could urge me on. I knelt and took him in strong Equestrin arms and held him to my breast. If I could do the same for The Last Faery how could I do less for The Last Timelord?

I wasn't surprised that he still didn't cry. Those tears had been shed millennia ago, hadn't they? I vowed I wouldn't insult him by falling to pieces like a 'suboptimal' Filly... but the tears still slid from my eyes though the sobs I locked down by Main Force.

The Eugenicists would be proud that I kept the quaver from my voice!

“Oh, Doctor...” I whispered. “I... just don't know what to say! I haven't... there aren't any words. ...I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry!”

He was in no position to return the hug, so he patted one of my articulated hooves with one of his own Standard Models.

“There, there My Dear.” He said quietly. “You mustn't cry for me. I don't deserve it... but bless you anyway! And besides... that's my line, isn't it?” He stirred and I released him, scrubbing my face dry as I stood. If he choose to notice, well, that was on him!

“In any event, it didn't work. Not all the way. I mean... I'm still here, TARDIS and all! Like I said, there was no way to predict exactly what would happen.” He stretched fore and aft and ran a forehoof through his mane again.

“Truth be told I don't remember much of the actual event except...” He cocked his head and looked preoccupied. “There was a big, red, button. … And the Bad Wolf was there... and all my Other Selves...”

The Mare In My Head played that last bit back, frowning. I shook me head to her, hoping the Doctor wouldn't notice as he continued.

“I can't help it... but I think, or maybe hope, that I did something incredibly... clever!” He shook himself. “...No, no. Just wishful thinking after all. I... killed the Daleks... and Gallopfrey. Do you know that's the last time I allowed myself to use a weapon? I've eschewed them ever since. There's blood enough on my hooves for even a Dalek, isn't there?” He gave me a sad, twisted little smile that never made it to his eyes.

“At any rate I was clearly out of my mind for a while. A good, long while, I should think. Somewhere in there I'm sure I Regenerated. My memories afterwards don't begin again until the TARDIS landed. I trotted straight out the door... and met Ditzy!. For some reason, being a Pony just flummoxed me! But all my memories... have memories, if you follow me!” He locked gazes with me and for the briefest instant I wondered just what I was looking at.

In the end there just wasn't anything else to say...

“Who knows, Doc? Who knows?”

“Would that I did!” He snapped irritably and scowled.

I did what I could, I shrugged!

“Not my department, Doc. I'm not in-”

“That's just it!” He jerked around and stabbed a hoof at me with a look of terrible urgency on his face. “It just might be your department!”

Chapter Sixty- A Picnic...No, Really...With Fezzes!

CHAPTER SIXTY

A PICNIC... NO, REALLY,... WITH FEZZES!

“All right, Doc, you're losing me. I must be...”

“No, no, no!” The Doctor began pacing, trotting a few steps one way then reversing direction so abruptly his coat tails were swinging!

“It's just I'm very much afraid... I seem to remember... oh, confusticate and bebother it! It's all in flux now!” He abruptly plopped down on his hindquarters and stomped a forehoof in frustration before collecting himself with an effort.

“Despite appearances to the contrary...” He began at a slower pace, his eyes locking onto mine urgently. But his tempo picked up immediately afterwards. “Time is not a linear series of causes and events. It's more of a web... lattice, actually. Picture a three-dimensional lattice, OK, four-dimensional... we'll just table the more esoteric quirks of Spacetime and just keep things confined to the observable Universe for the moment! Ooh! That's it! Think of a sort of infinite series of trellises stacked alongside of and around each other. These are Universes, realities... you get the idea! Time is like the roses that twine through them. The blossoms are the fixed points in time linking it all through the common vine. I like that! Roses! Very poetic, don't you think?” He beamed and then frowned. “No, bad analogy. Forget I said that, it's all rubbish! Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey, that sums it up! The point...”

“Doc!” I said sharply. I drew a line with two fingers from my eyes to his own. “Focus! Slow down! What's. Wrong?”

“The point I'm making is that there are Fixed Points in Time that just have to happen! They're linked to points in other universes mutually shoring up the whole lattice holding the whole silly thing together. The Great Depression and the Blar Famine in Segoh are linked by way of other realities! One has to happen so that the other can!”

“Doc!” I reached out to grab his jaw, forcing him to look at me. “Banjos! Turquoise! Forks!”

His eyebrows shot up then scrunched down in irritation.

“My Dear Girl... what are you going on about? … And kindly unhoof me!”

“My question exactly, Doc! You're beginning to run off the mag-lev rails! Slow down and pretend I'm not a Timelord!” I let him go and waited.

“Of course you aren't a Timelord. ...You'd quite emphatically be a Timelady!” He rubbed his jaw. “In the future, you pretend that I'm made out of porcelain!”

“Doc, meet Corporal Punishment!” I hefted a boot and lined it up with his cutie-mark. “She's great motivational inspiration. Sunny can tell you all about her...” I let the implication speak for itself.

“All right! All right!” He drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. When he began again it was at a much more restrained pace... though a terrible urgency frayed the edge of his voice.

“It's being Undone, Starry! Fixed points in Time are destabilizing into Flux! Remember what I said! As I sat here and told you... my tale... it suddenly occurred to me that you had to make a similar decision!” He drummed his forehooves on the ground. “That Never Happened Before! Never!”

“... What are you saying, Doc?”

“Starry, I once made a decision to kill billions. I burned a world out of existence in all Time and did in two intelligent species. Unless you are very, very careful... my Dear Starry-Eyes... you may find yourself in a position to do much worse.”

By his own definition he wasn't one to offer hugs. Yet he reached out, tentatively and unsure, to clasp my hooves with his forehooves with a strength I found surprising for such a little stallion. Solemn, sad dread haunted his eyes...

“ I don't want you to have to make that decision!” He whispered. “Believe me, you don't want to have to live with that. Be very, very, VERY careful when you confront Discord! So many lives and potential lives are at stake!”

I lowered my hoof and planted it firmly. I needed the stability just then!

I opened my mouth to speak only to shut it... several times while The Mare In My Head kept hitting the resets on my Cognitive Functions Board. I squeezed my eyes shut and concentrated on the stimuli at hoof. The chuckling of the river, the rustling of the scarlet-and-silver leaves, the twitters and cheeps of the unseen birds... the sun was blissfully warm on my naked back and shoulders and the Doctor's grip never faltered.

Minutes... I don't know how many passed. Finally the breakers stayed closed. When I could speak my tongue felt like it weighed fifty pounds!

“When... where?” I asked thickly. “Do we make it to... do we find the Goddesses?” You know... it never occurred to me to doubt him!

“I don't know!” He dropped his hooves and ruffled his mane fiercely. “... It could be five seconds from now or it could be never! Wait...!” He held up a hoof and looked around for precisely five seconds.

He let out a little sight of relief. “... Probably later than sooner, then! It should be impossible for him to get in here... but it also should be impossible to muck around with History! Time save me from bungling amateurs!” He shook a hoof at the skies.

“It's no longer a fixed point, he's bollixing it up! Your sole contribution to history was your participation in the re-discovering of the Princesses and the rel-uniting of Ponykind. You weren't even supposed to be in Command of the ship! Now, though, you could end up decimating the Universe, destroy it in by failing, or slaughter untold trillions fighting Discord to a stalemate!”

“Doesn't it strike you as being, ah, reckless to be filling me in about the possible outcomes?” I wondered quietly.

“My Dear Young Mare, don't presume to lecture me on the nuances of my job!” The grumpy old buck side of him leaped to the fore as he glared at me severely. “I've been fixing History since before your species began banging rocks together as a rhythm accompaniment for sing-alongs!”

We all of us on Equestris are Earth Ponies, with all that has to say about our collective characters. We find our own way in our own way and the Hell with anypony's opinion of our chances!

“All I'm asking...” I said evenly. “Is are you assigning my options or am I free to come up with my own?”

He looked at me as if I'd just turned red and sprouted suckers all over my body!

“Well whatever else...?” He began crossly and then caught my eye. His expression softened at once as the cranky old buck fell away and another pony's easy smile graced his features.

“Oh bra-vo!” He said softly. “I've said it before, haven't I, how much I admire Ponies? Earth Ponies especially... I reckon that's why I've regenerated as one, I suspect!” He reached up to critically eye a bit of his mane. “... Though just once I'd like to see some ginger! Is that so much to ask, I mean really!”

As he hopped to his hooves and shook himself briskly I wondered... is this his defense against thirteen lifetimes of memories? Or maybe his way of coping with it...?

The Mare In My Head shrugged and tapped her nose twice, keyboarding with her free hoof.

“Who knows? Who knows?”

Only one Pony could say, and he danced forward and dealt me a companionable punch to the thigh.

“That's the spirit! Confidentially speaking, I prefer to keep my options open right up to the last moment! Nothing like it for keeping one on ones toes, eh?”

He stilled and looked up at me, sadness and and incredible world-weariness a poor filter for light of hope in his eyes! Instead of another punch he patted me softly above the knee.

“What else can one do against Chaos? … I'm sorry you got caught up in this, like this. I'm so, so sorry...”

He sprang to his hooves again! “You see? I told you it was my line! Nopony can deliver it quite like me! It's the soulful eyes, wouldn't you agree? My best feature, well, that and my impeccable fashion sense... and my modesty! I'm great at modesty! I could be...” He reared up and spread his hooves toward an imaginary marquee. “... The Great Modester... Modesty Pony... whatever!”

He whirled away, heading downstream in a series of twirls with his coat-tails swinging and his forehooves flapping to illustrate his words!

“Right! We have a picnic waiting! I don't know about you but I am famished! This way, My Dear! And I can promise you no more indigenous wildlife! Well, maybe a few ants... though we call them 'Sems' hereabouts! Throw them a little sugar and they're your friends for life which, in their case, is about twenty days give-or-take the odd bird or bug...” He stopped dead thirty feet away and looked at me quizzically. “Coming?”

“On my way, Doc! On my way, all the way!” With that I shoved What May Come as far into the future as I could. Time for just a little R&R... while I could.”

“That's my filly!” The little stallion beamed while I caught up. He fell in beside me, high-stepping to keep up.

“Tell you what! Let's just compare notes on Equestrin ecology vis-a-vis good old Gallopfrey while we walk, er, trot! Don't worry! We'll stay well clear of the water, eh?”

We blazed a trail through broad-leafed bushes and around trees with rough, black bark, the Doctor nattering away and pausing every so often to turn over a leaf or look under a rock to show me the small things living or taking shelter there. It was a pretty one-sided conversation! Compared to anyplace else with an atmosphere Equestrin ecology is pretty rudimentary. Wind and rain break down the igneous rock into a thin dust that mostly washes into the rivers and the seas. Moss and a few lichens grow on the flat spots and play host to a hoof-full of tiny insect life-forms that feed on it. The water is the real action is! The rivers and seas are just full of life and is the old Homeworld's one working ecosystem. Conditions are rough given the wildly varying PH and mineral content of the water due to underwater eruptions and magma flows. Competition is fierce and evolution unrelenting. Early on the Colonists made plans to kill off the sea life in order to perform aquaculture but nothing could be done that wouldn't kill them as well so we wrote off Terraforming the seas and kept to ourselves on the dangerous enough land! Plans were made to dredge up the organic-rich ooze but the toxic metals and the overabundance of almost microscopic things living in it made it less than cost-effective. Once we sterilized the stuff all we had left was a thin dust just like we had on land... plus a little carbon. Not enough to offset the hazards no, thank you! Mining was, and is, a lot safer!

We climbed a gentle slope, the higher ground making the river bend far away in a loop, and almost at once hit the path we should have been able to take before our unfortunate encounter with the Kel.

There was naked bedrock at the top. A hard ocher-brown sandstone or something very much like it. The soil was thinner as our path wound down the far side. The trees gave way to shrubs and bushes growing in broad patches as islands in a sea of grasses and herbs, the former with heavy heads of seeds and the latter sporting feathery or needle-like leaves lending a variety of heady scents to the soft breeze. Looking up, the genial sun stood just past mid-day while the more businesslike moon was already tending toward the horizon.

I wanted to ask him about those markings on it but the Doctor was telling a story about how he found our how male platypus... whatever the hell they are... were poisonous so I filed it away for later and just enjoyed the walk.

The smells from the herbs were preoccupying my attention, reminding me that I was hungry! Crying really takes it out of a person, I suppose. On an impulse I snagged the head off a passing specimen and gave it a sniff. It certainly smelled enticing enough...

“Go ahead, it's quite good and I daresay it'll hardly spoil your appetite!” He stopped and tipped me a wink before reaching out to nip a bit off the same plant with his teeth and began chewing.

“Think of it as a mint...” He said around his mouthful. “Good for settling your stomach if you eat too much. But go easy! Too much will bind you up tight as a drum!”

“Do tell?” I murmured, giving it another sniff. Looking at it, I would have expected it to taste like parsley... but it smelled more like licorice! I shrugged and popped it into my mouth.

Yep, it had a strong licorice flavor with a hint of something like a resin. The natural oil of the plant, I figured.

“Not bad.” I conceded, chewing thoroughly. “... Kinda leaves a coating in your mouth, doesn't it?”

“Nothing permanent, I assure you!” The Doctor trotted on. “Add some sweetener, mix in a little flour by way of a filler, put in just a touch of salt and you have a neat little after-dinner treat!”

I twigged off another little bit, trusting my Augmentation to keep me from coming to any real harm, and ambled off behind him.

Our path took us downward at a gentle incline. Before we got too far down I could see the river looping back toward us before getting lost to sight by virtue of the chest-high-to-an-Equestrin foliage. For the record, I wasn't even a little bit uncomfortable with it... as long as we weren't eating on a raft or something!

I was about to explore the possibility of that with the Doctor when we encountered an intersection. Off to the side of the new path lay a small pile up rocks piled atop on another. At the miniature summit seven small, round balloons waved gently. They were pale gray, almost silver colored and were held down to the stone with a strip of brilliantly yellow tape.

“As if I wouldn't know the way!” The Timelord scoffed. Yet he regarded the little marker softly. “Well...” He gave me a little smile. “Stranger things have happened! Not One Word! Allonz-y!

We followed the new path through a couple of hairpin turns into a patch of bushes sporting little pale-red leaves liberally adorned with big pale green-white flowers that smelled like a water-downed version of something Sunny would dab behind her ears.

The Doctor let me lead the way. The path made a sharp turn ahead of us around a particularly large botanical specimen. From the other side of it I heard voices.

“I guess from the way you're set up that it would make sense. Seems like you'd make a lot of milk that way!” Ditzy was saying.

“Oh, aye!” Sunny agreed. “Now if we could get wee Starry a-lactatin' th' wee bairn'd a-swimmin' in th' stuff! We could probly set up a cheese shop!” The two of them giggled like schoolfillies.

I rounded that last corner and into the little clearing.

“Damnit, Sunny! You're just jealous!” My frown was purely for form, I was too happy to see her again!

One the ground lay a large cloth, white with a pattern of little purple question marks. On it sat a wicker hamper, one insulated pitcher, two ice-filled ones glistening with condensation, an impressive platter of sandwiches, a bowl of salad, a pile of apples, a bunch of bananas, most of a chocolate cake with bright white frosting, one each apple and cherry pies now worse for the wear, a depleted tray of assorted cupcakes and muffins, and a bowl of honest-to-Luna potato chips! Wow! I hadn't had those in ages!

I only had an instant to savor the spread! Sunny, who was sitting on a little pillow on the far side of the cloth, spread her glorious wings with a flap and leaped onto me, twining her arms around my neck and wrapping her legs around my hips in order to administer a truly A-one proper kiss! My hooves cupped her bottom out of reflex and we just stayed that way for as long as her breath held out.

With just half an ear (I wasn't concentrating on too much of what was going on around me just then!) I heard Tyllae giggle and something I imagined sounded like the Doctor rubbing noses with Ditzy who cooed something endearing just to him. I carefully choose not to hear what he murmured in reply.

Sunny hardly weighs a thing by Equestrin standards so I was able to free up an arm to give her a squeeze that pretty much drove what was left of her air out of her!

She came up for air with a gasp and she buried her face in my mane.

“Starry love, I'm so sorry fer me blather before...”

I cut her off with a swat to her bottom that made her wriggle!

“Oh slag it, Sweets!” I crushed her to me tighter. “I'm sorry for being so thin-skinned. Not very 'Optimal' of me, is it? As far as I'm concerned you're just bragging me up to your friends!”

That earned me another kiss, frosting-flavored, as I recall!

“Sure n' yer just th' best kind o' Pony, fer all yer savage ways!” She snuggled into my embrace with her muzzle in my ear.

“... Starry, Hon?”

“Mm?” I said, thoroughly enjoying myself.

“... Why're ye runnin' around half starkers? For me own part Ah dinna care, but 'tis just a wee out o' character fer a dear prude like yersel'!”

“...Oi! She's one to talk!” The Doctor stage-whispered.

“Doctor!” Ditzy scolded and apparently fetched him a whack with a wing from the sound of it!

“Oh, wait! My mistake, she is wearing under wear... if only for decorative purposes, that is!”

“Stop!” Wap! “LOOKING!” Wap!

“Oi! Steady on! You just broke that! No hitting in the TARDIS!”

“Curiosity killed the Timelord!” “A synthetic voice observed.

My hoof had pushed Sunny's skirt up, of course. Purely by accident, I might add! I covered her up with one broad hoof and half turned to look around.

“Oh! Hi, K-9! ...What in the name of Luna's pet Mooncalf have you got on your head?”

“Greetings, Mistress Sunny.” The dogbot nodded, careful not to dislodge the crimson cylindrical headpiece jammed onto his noggin.

“Oh, sure!” The Doctor said indignantly. “He gets a fez!”

“You've got one too!” Ditzy said in a long-suffering voice, rolling her eyes, lifting her Timelord-beating wing higher to reveal a slightly crumpled one tucked there.

The Doctor gleefully picked it up and tucked it onto his head, happy as a foal on Hearthswarming Day!

“What?” He looked around at all of us. “Fezzes are cool! Almost as cool as bow-ties!” He swung his head a couple of times, delighting himself with watching the tassel wave!

“Sure n' we all got one!” Sunny giggled. “T'was Ditzy's idea t' be a-makin' it a proper Party n 'all!”

I stared at the thing on the Doctor's head. ...I had to stifle an urge to snatch it off and use it for balephaser practice!

“You got me one of those things?”

“Oh, aye!”

I shook my head resolutely. “Ain't gonna happen!”

I took a really long step and carried Sunny over to where she'd been sitting. There was a teensy... compared to an Equestrin butt... pillow there. I switched my tail out of the way and folded my legs down for a perfect landing, making Sunny whoop in the process!

“Wow!” I surveyed all the food in front of me. “You guys must've used a cargo sled to truck all this in!”

“Would ye believe it! Yon basket only weighs a few pound... Ah know because I carried th' thing fer th' Lass! But when we got here she started unpackin' n' unpackin', n' unpackin'! Th' damndest thing ye ever could hope t' see!”

“I've had some experience with it, Toots!” I nodded to the Timelord who was busy filling his plate with sandwiches and bananas. “The Doc has a junk shop in his pockets!”

“Everything I carry has a purpose!” He said with dignity, squirting mustard onto a dandelion-and-shredded-carrot sandwich. “It's amazing the sort of thing you can use a yo-yo for!” He took a big bite and I just winced. The sorts of things some Ponies eat!

I looked around to rinse the sight of that out of my mind and found Tyllae over by K-9. She had a fez, too. But in her case she'd tipped the thing over on its side and made a three-sided shelter out of it. She'd tucked it into the base of a flowering bush and made herself a snug little Faery bower. A plate with three cupcakes, a wedge of apple pie and a few crumbs of chocolate cake sat to one side near at hoof. Before her, propped up against K-9, was a short stack of garishly colorful magazines of some sort. From where I sat I could see that the pages contained nothing but panel after panel of bright drawings sparsely sprinkled with some sort of captions in little balloons.

“What do you have there, Squirt?”

The little Tyke looked up, putting a teeny hoof down on the bit she was looking at so she wouldn't lose her place.

“Hi-hiii, Starry! Tyllae is reading Power Ponies yep, yep, yep!”

“'Reading'?” I cocked an eye at her.

“Well Kay-Kay is helping Tyllae with the big words! Not really needa know what Ponies are saying. Pictures maka plain as wings yep, yep, yep!” She fluttered hers by way of illustration.

“Comic books, ye ken!” Sunny mussed my mane a little, giggling.

“The firs' ten issues uh Power Ponies!” The Doctor explained with a full mouth. “Picked 'em up for Dinky-Doo nex time we're in Ponyville!” Ditzy, snuggled up to the Doctor, tsked and wiped a bit of mustard off his muzzle.

I felt my ears droop a little.“Oh... ponies in tights with capes? Back during my first cruise on the Hermes my roommate had reprints of Superpony one through sixteen. Claimed they were classics. You'd think an Engineer would read something just a little bit more, well, educational!”

“Aww, don be sucha ol poop, Starry! Power Ponies are fun! Tyllae specially likes Fillysecond! Zippity, zip, zip!”

“And you're OK with that, K-9?” I cocked a sardonic eye at the little bot.

“Affirmative, Mistress Starry.” He nodded his head carefully, mindful of that Goddess-awful thing perched there. “For Beginner-class reading material it is sufficient. Besides...” He waggled his parabolic ears. “It amuses me to see her amused!”

“Well buck me down a shaft!” I chuckled. “Tyllae has such a rocky relationship with machines that I'd never thought-”

“Hay!” The little Fey scolded. “Kay-Kay notta real machiney like stoopid compooters onna Her-Mees nope, nope, nope! Heesa real, real, real person! Jus notta made of same stuff is all! Be nice to Kay-Kay, Starry! … Whassa this word, Kay-Kay?”

K-9 lowered his head and looked where the Fey pointed.

“Nefarious. Neh-fair-ee-us. It means 'exceedingly wicked' … a bad guy, Little Mistress.”

I just had to laugh! I raised a hoof in the vicinity of Sunny's bottom palm-up.

“I stand, er, sit corrected! As long as you two are having fun I'm happy! Hey, Sunny! Grab me some of those chips!”

“Wha? Ye mean th' crisps? Who broke yer arms, ye great lump?”

“My hooves are full and I don't plan on letting you go for a long, long time!” I gave her a playful spat on her cutie-mark. “Now feed me, Mare!”

“Oh 'tis that the way of it, then? Well how can I be a-sayin' no when ye ask so politely? But...” She gave me a blast of her lavender eyes. “'Twill cost ye!”

“Kisses for chips?” I waggled my eyebrows at her.

“Nay, summat better!” From somewhere behind her she retrieved and clapped a fez on my head!

“Oh, very nice! Bravo!” The Doctor put his second sandwich down and applauded. Tyllae cheered, K-9 only cocked his head while his eyes blinked on and off rapidly. Ditzy sighed and produced her own fez and got a prim kiss on the muzzle from the hooting Timelord as she donned it. Me? I only groaned theatrically, I was having too good a time to really care!

“OK!” I laughed. “But I better get the whole bowl!”

Episode Sixty-One Omens

EPISODE SIXTY-ONE

Omens

It is a rule of the Universe the All Good Things Come To An End. Entropy ebbs and flows and all a Pony can do is enjoy the Good while it lasts... this much I've learned from the Doctor, at least!

The picnic party wound down as the Gallopfreyan sun sloped toward the horizon. All too soon we found ourselves back in the Control Room of the TARDIS, tummies full, minds relaxed, resolves focused, and hopes running high. ...That's how things work in all the heroic adventure stories Sunny has, anyway. In reality only the Doctor and Tyllae were unruffled at the prospect of boarding a Klingon warship under the command of some sort of Eldritch Horror who was the henchpony for the Lord of Chaos himself!

Ditzy trusted the Doctor wholehearted and implicitly but, if the pair of bulging saddlebags she had lying on the deck were any indication, she was hedging her bets! Her eyes... well, one of them, was/were grim. The other one kept wandering off until she made an effort to call it into line.

Sunny had fallen silent and was keeping her anxieties to herself, the only outward indication of her concerns showed up in the form of a death-grip she kept on my right hoof.

I would have liked nothing better than to keep holding her tight with both hooves... but I had A Job To Do and, Augment Daughter of Equestris or not, I couldn't do it with just one hoof. I gave her a kiss and my best reassuring look before disengaging her.

I smacked one fist into the other palm briskly and took a step to better look over the gear we'd be taking.

Besides Ditzy's saddlebags there was a single smaller bag with a blue cord threaded through the top holding it shut... a disappointingly small bag given what I knew of the the crew complements of Klingon ships. Assuming it was the Doctor's I could just imagine what was in it. A cheese sandwich, maybe, or a hoof-full of dog biscuits to distract the canine mercenaries onboard. I felt my ears droop inside my mane as The Mare In My Head suggested it was a yo-yo... or a fez!

“I know what you're thinking!” I turned to look at the Timelord shaking a hoof at me.

“Need I remind you that we aren't going over there to fight? As I see it we're going over there to sever the link between Captain Kyr and Mighty Cthulhu... keep him from pressing the big, wriggly, tentacled panic button so to speak!” He said brightly.

“Unless that bag is extra-dimensional and packed to the brim with photon grenades or pulse generators there's going to be a bit more to that scenario.” I pointed out dryly.

“This is not a military operation, My Dear! Besides, mere force won't do with an Elder God. As I'm sure I pointed out before, we must NOT rouse him! Bringing his attention to bear on us would be invariably fatal. No...” He nosed the bag open and stuck a hoof inside up to his elbow and began to rummage around. “We have all that we'll need here. Aaannd... Voila!”

With a little flourish he extracted a pair of … bracelets! Really little more than flexible metal links, very much like the one holding his wristwatch onto his foreleg. Pretty enough in a tacky, fashion accessory sense but as useless as a nose on a reclimator-maintenance drone as far as I could see!

“Doctor!” Ditzy said reprovingly. “... They don't know what they are for Ponies' sake!”

“Perception Filters!” The Doctor ignored her tone. “Timelord technology, My Dear, a spin-off of the Chameleon Circuit. Can you spot the Temporal Restoration Matrix from where you're standing? It's out in plain sight! Of course you can't, you don't know what you're looking at so there's no reason for you to dwell on it! These work by enhancing the impulse to ignore it. We'll be fine... that is, unless we do something...” He waved a hoof, looking for a word.

I gave him one! “Stupid?”

“I was thinking along the lines of 'dramatic', actually!” He gave me a pained look. “See here, Starry, you'll just have to trust me. This works! How else do you think I can put the TARDIS down in the middle of a strange town and not cause a riot? It's really quite subtle in nature. Hardly uses any psychic energy, certainly not enough to set off any detectors... unless they're very sensitive ones! In any event, Klingons will hardly be in possession of any such technology. We'll be fine!”

OK, I was frankly doubtful of this talk about 'psychic energy'. Brains, whether they have lobes or mere notochords, are bioelectrical in nature and the energy they produce wouldn't be enough to power a Roamulan ear mites' tunnel scooter halfway around a hydrogen molecule! Electromagnetism and Subspace are quantified measurable types of energy with defined and understood characteristics. 'Psychic Energy' sounded too much like...

“Magic.” I said unenthusiastically. “It's magic. … But I didn't think-”

“Oh for the love of Time!” The Doctor facehoofed, making a face. “It is NOT magic! If it were Magic we'd have to paint pink polka dots on ourselves or something!”

“Magic is as Magic does.” Sunny nodded sagely. Ditzy agreed with a smug nod of her own. Tyllae, clad in what she now called her 'Sooper-Suit', giggled.

“Ah ken ye've got nobbut two o' yer contraptions...” Sunny said pointedly.

“That is because you three are going to remain in the TARDIS while Starry and I...”

“Nuh-uh!” Tyllae trilled. “Nope, nope, nope! Tyllae gonna come too! Tyllae can help! What Dokker an Starry gonna do against Ol' Thooly-Doodle? Tyllae keepa safe! Faeries don't fear Outsiders, nope, nope, nope!” The little Fey said proudly.

“As far as that goes...” The Doctor reached into his bag again. “I have just the thing! I may not know just how it works, but I do have a bit of proper Magic at my disposal. Fillies and, er, Faeries! Let me present an Eldar Seal!”

When he pulled his hoof out on it lay a small discus of what looked like polished gray granite, maybe five or six inches wide and less than an inch thick. Upon it was graven a five-pointed star within a triple circle.

Sunny looked interested, cocking her head while she scrutinized the thing. Ditzy flapped up over her shoulder to get a better look. Tyllae zipped over and took up station about a yard away from the thing and gazed wide-eyed at it.

“Oooh! Looky-look!” She positively goggled!

I took in the expressions of my friends and My Love then turned my attention once again to the rather plain and simple thing resting on the Timelord's hoof. I wished Jerry were there. Maybe he could see what everypony was so intrigued by, it certainly was beyond me!

The Mare In My Head gave me a little dig and scolded me for breaking the tricorder and its Arcane Sensors. I spun her Command Chair like a festival ride and told her to mind her own business!

I ended up sighing in frustration and had to admit, well, if not defeat... then stalemate.

“OK. What are we supposed to do, bean him with it or use it to wedge the door shut he's hidden behind?”

The Doctor gave me a companionable wink.

“I can't see it, either. But they can!” He pointed with his eyes to the others. “Pegasai are infused with Magic that lets them fly and manipulate clouds and weather. Alicorns are super-Unicorns with all that entails and Faeries, well, ... are the reason Magic is here in the first place, aren't they?”

“I can't actually see it.” Ditzy admitted, concentrating to put both eyes on the thing. “But I can feel it! The same way you can feel a fire or a sunbeam with your eyes closed. There's a LOT of Magic caught up in that!”

“Aye, well, Ah kin see th' Aura plain as day!” Sunny said, looking impressed. “But Ah'd be hard put t' tell ye jus' what kind o' Magic we're a lookin' at. 'Tisn't an Abjuration r' Conjurin', though Ah'd swear they're present in there! 'Tis a fancy bit o' Spellwork...” Her eyebrows shot up and her wings half-unfurled in alarm! “Dinna tell me ye went back t' Eugenics War fer a bleedin' megaspell!”

“One of the first!” The Doctor conceded. “... But I went considerably farther back in Time for it!”

The Mare In My Head sat bolt upright in her chair so fast she almost jumped! The Colony's history database pretty much starts with the Eugenics War, so I know all I needed to know about megaspells! The minimum yield on one of those things was on the order of fifty megatons. The real trick with them was reining them in once they started up! Antimatter was as safe as modeling clay by comparison!

Once upon a time Starfleet Engineering tinkered with the idea of using one to power a Time-Warp Drive. After all, they did have the blueprints for megaspells. I suppose it was a temptation too hard to resist! There had been exactly ONE attempt at fitting one on a ship.

Thirty years ago Starfleet had made a test facility on a rogue planet halfway to Barnyard's Star. Since it is patently impossible to sustain a Time-Warp field on a planetary body, the Excelsior, XP-76, was fitted out as the test bed. Computer simulation showed it was just barely possible to make it work with maximum safety protocols in place. Subspace telemetry was being relayed to Starfleet Command. When they powered up their flight plan called for a maximum speed of Time Warp Factor Three. They made initial Warp threshold in just one point one seven seconds. After three seconds they were at Time-Warp Factor ten! Before anypony or computer could throttle back the ship was outrunning it's own telemetry. The last readings were so red-shifted as to be undecipherable. It was estimated they were belting along at Time Warp Factor twenty-two when their intentionally-overbuilt Inertial Compensators gave up. One and one-half light years away from their launch point... in about four seconds... their Warp Field destabilized. There's a dark joke in Starfleet Engineering that says the Excelsior went up in a 'Subspace Rainboom'. Fifty-seven Engineers and thirty crewponies died in a subspace detonation that knocked out every Unicorn on Starbase Three and nearly blew out every transtator in half the Quadrant!

… So I was understandably leery at being in the presence of one of the damn things!

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Doc!” I summoned up every scrap of calm I could muster to keep my voice at a decent level. “For Pony who portrays himself as a dedicated Pacifist-”

The Doctor appealed to the ceiling with his eyes. “Oh for the love of Time! ...This is most assuredly NOT a weaponized megaspell! Why do you automatically assume that every megaspell has to be a weapon?”

“Sure n' th' boyo has a point!” Sunny said reasonably, regretting her earlier outburst. “Th' first 'uns were fer healin' great mobs o' Ponies hurt durin' th' War.” She made a face, then, “... But the 'Miltry learnt that t'was easy t' make 'em go 'boom'... n' thin add balefire t' them in th' bloody process! Why is it that nopony wants t' invest in an Arcane Technology that doesna-”

“Doctor?” Ditzy fluttered into the air and raised a hoof. “What was the first megaspell?”

The Mare In My Head waggled a hoof at me for thinking her a brain-damaged Cull! We all were glad for a change of subject just then. I gave the little Pegasus a warm look as she waited for an answer.

The Doctor, never one to hang back when it came to displaying his knowledge of History, smoothly transitioned into Lecturing Mode.

“By Ponies? That would have to be The Elements of Harmony wielded by Celestia and Luna when they dethroned Discord. Would that we had them at our disposal now! Before that, well, ...” He made a motion toward Tyllae.

“Faeries used!” She admitted glumly. “Really, really, really big ones to fight the Dark Faeries. But they used first! … But that notta 'scuse.” She paused to sniffle a little bit. “Faeries were sorry, sorry, sorry an used big, big, big spells to help put whole world back together. Faeries wanted to save even jussa few little Trees so the Big Fight wouldn't be for nothing, yep, yep, yep!” She looked at Ditzy, Sunny, and myself.

“Faeries wanna help... but little Faeries sometimes stoopid in big, big, big ways. Tyllae thinks Big Ponies getta their stoopid fromma Faeries.” She brightened just a little bit. “ But Tyllae likes to think Big Ponies get big hearts from Faeries too an thassa fack!”

“Gi' us a mickle bit o' credit, ye wee scamp!” Sunny reached out to gather the little mite to her.

“Nopony is assigning blame, Tyllae!' The Doctor said gently. “Every species has to accept responsibility for their own deeds, that's only reasonable.”

“Wait!” Ditzy looked confused. “ 'Trees'? What trees?”

Both the Doctor and Tyllae perked up to speak but I headed them both off!

“Long story! So, Doc, where did you get this thing... and what's it supposed to do?”

The Doctor looked hurt for just a moment and Tyllae just giggled.”

“A-hem!” He put the Seal down on the bag and adjusted his tie before beginning anew.

“What you see here is the hoofwork of a great Unicorn Mage. One Starswirl The Bearded, by name-”

“Star-Swirly!” The Fey exclaimed. “Tyllae remembers now!”

Sunny almost dropped the excited Fey! “Starswirl? … Faith! Even Ah thought he was nobbut a legend!” She turned toward me.

“He was th' mentor o' Merlin th' Magician , ye ken. Ah gave ye th' book t' read. Th' History o' th' Queens o' Bittain, sure n' ye couldna forget!”

“Wel-l-l....” I rolled my eyes away. “I was more interested in the Rings Trilogy so I never got around to reading it.”

“Hark at the pragmatic Science Officer! Now if ye'd jus learn t' 'preciate th' nuances o' Mounted Python's Flyin' Circus!”

The Doctor saved me from saying something that would have put me in the proverbial doghouse.

“It occurred to me...” He began just loudly enough to steer the conversation back onto his heading. “That if I truly wanted to get a handle on Equestrian Magic who better to go to than the Premiere Magician of his age? As it turned out, I showed up just in time! Seems the Ponies of that day were dealing with a cabal of their fellows in league with Nyarlotep... a cousin of Our Boy over on the Werewolf! We put our heads together and between my knowledge of the Universe and his Arcane expertise we came up with this little gem!” He buffed it with the sleeve of his coat and admired it.

“It's intended to, well, deepen the sleep of one of the Old Ones when applied to its abode. Kept the old fellow from waking up and wreaking havoc long enough to allow me to take him somewhere he couldn't harm! Which reminds me...” He caught my eye and touched my knee. “ If things fall out the way we want them to, you might ask Starfleet to pass along a message to the Klingon Empire to stay well away Eta Sagittarius Seven. They won't like what they find there!”

“Uh, sure!” I blinked. “... But you realize that little bit of news would only make them want to look, don't you? Assuming they put any stock in the tale at all!”

“I suppose you're right.” He sighed. “Still, wouldn't you feel better warning them as opposed to letting them open a dangerous can of worms knowing what would happen?”

I was this close to opening my mouth to explain to him that the Federation relationship with the Empire had been rocky from the get-go; that there were a lot of Ponies who would say that the Klingons deserved whatever they got... and more besides! I was none too fond of the bastards myself... but I'd seen Kyr and what he'd become. Did even Klingons deserve that?

The Doctor noticed my hesitation...

“They're only your enemies because neither of you has ever truly understood the other.” He said softly. “All it would take would be a Friendly gesture... one they would respect... to get them to come to the table. I believe they've built a base in the nearby Khitomer system. Somepony might advise their Base Commander, if not now then maybe in a generation or so! I believe they should be safe for the time being. ...If Discord gives us the chance!”

“Big if!” I agreed. “I'll tell the Diplomatic Corps. I'll come up with some reason I should know. Fair enough?”

“There's hope fer ye yet, me Bonny Dear!” Sunny grinned. “Nice t' know there's no so much of th' bloody Soldier t' ye after all!”

“Shut your pie hole, Sunny!” I muttered, then I turned back to the Doctor.

“So Starswirl just gave you the thing when you the two of you were done with it?”

“It was the most interesting thing!” He replied. “I was there when he made it... he allowed me to sit in on the process. When all the lights and smoke were done there were two of them lying there! I rather fancy it threw the old boy for a loop, if the look on his face was any indication! In the end he made me a gift of the extra. He said I might need it later. Saw it in a crystal ball or something, you know how these metaphysical types are!”

“Don't I know it! So... did you pick up any insights?'

“Not a bit! Whole thing went, whoosh, right over my head! For him it was like trying to teach a blind pony how to paint. Made up my mind then and there to stick with Temporal Physics and resign myself to being a...” He snickered. “One Trick Pony! Eh? Pretty good for a spur-of-the-moment thing! I've still got it after two thousand years!”

I winced, then cocked an eye at the time-traveling stand-up artist. “To paraphrase Starswirl The Bearded...”

“Bring it on!” The Doctor said gamely.

“... Don't give up your day job, Doc!”

“Oh, is that it? Well, I can prove I'm more successful at comedy! Look what happened to you!”

“Oh?”

“Well... you lost your shirt, didn't you? Oh I am on a roll!”

“Och!” Sunny muttered. “'T'was bad enough when it was just her... now there's two o' them!”

“The stories I could tell you...” Ditzy agreed with a sigh.

Somewhere behind us a bell rang with a bright 'bing'!

“I think we've just been saved by the bell!” The Doctor sprang away to the console to check the readouts in the hodgepodge of instruments he'd collected.

“Is summat wrong... ?” Sunny wondered.

“Nope!” The soft gray Pegasus assured her. “The bell that means something's wrong is really loud and goes 'b-o-n-g'. That's just the TARDIS trying to get our attention for something. Behind you, Doctor! Roundel thirty-six!”

“I knew that! I was just checking if anything had changed You can never be too careful when it comes to random bells!” He grumped as he spun around and checked the round things on the walls.

“... Why you decided to start numbering the things is beyond me!”

“It's called being organized! You should try it sometimes! Honestly! You should have seen this place when I first got here! Stuff lying all over the place!”

“I'm perfectly organized... in accordance to Chaos Theory!” He replied indignantly. “A pile for everything and everything in its pile, so there!”

It turns out the round things were doors over storage places in the walls... lighted cupboards, effectively. Sure enough one of them was blinking on and off. He braced himself with one forehoof to reach high enough to use the other to open it.

He peered inside and waved me over.

“It seems we have just a little more equipment to take with us. Seems the old girl is looking out for you, My Dear!”

He hopped down and stood aside for me.

“Just as well! All I could think of by way of clothing for you was a Judoon tunic or some Sontaran light armor... though we'd have had to alter it quite a bit to get it over your...”

I shot him a warning glare!

“Hips!” He said quickly. “Sontarans... big shoulders, tiny little hips! Not like yourself.” He regretted that the instant he said it!

“What I mean is that, in your case, as an Augment...”

“Hoots!” Sunny nudged the hovering Ditzy. “So much fer bein' saved by th' bloody bell!”

“My hips aren't that big!” I said defensively. “... Are they?”

“Word t' th' wise, boyo! Zip yer bloody lip!”

“Oh, look!” He changed the subject with just enough desperation to garner a chuckle from The Mare In My Head. “That'll come in handy!”

Inside the cupboard lay a brand new uniform shirt complete with Cutie-patch! I wasted no time shrugging it on!

“I won't lie, I feel a lot better with this on! But...” I wriggled a little in its warm embrace. “It feels heavier somehow...”

Both the Timelord and Ditzy cocked an ear at a sudden, soft warbling that arose from the noises coming from the Console. He spoke as soon as it ended.

“It's been modified. Two threads out of ten have been, um, Augmented with superconducting fibers and armourcloth. Should be able to turn a knife or stop a small caliber bullet, not to mention fending off a ten-kilowatt blast! If anything goes wrong I'll make sure to stand behind you! Should be plenty of cover!”

“Och!” Sunny muttered, coming up to us. “'N ye were so close, too!” She patted the Doctor sympathetically on the head before turning her attention to me. “Sure n' 'tis a bonny fit, a lot more flatterin' t' yer figger thin that baggy lot ye like t' wear!” She ran a hoof across my belly and finished with a little tickle that made me spat her away!

“Stop that!” I tugged the bottom hem down and gave her a stern look that only made her smile.

“I'll admit, it fits a lot better than my old Standard Issue. The TARDIS could give our Quartermaster computers some lessons!” I paused and addressed the open air. “Thanks, I appreciate this!”

The console orchestrated a brief melody in reply as all the round ports on the wall blinked once!

“You're welcome, My Dear.” The Doctor translated.

“... And take care of The Doctor!” Ditzy finished. She didn't back down from The Doctor's sharp look!

“She asked her to, and you know Starry can't understand her!”

“I can cope! No reason to worry about me! I survived the Pandorica and I'll survive this little jaunt!” The Timelord said soothingly.

With an effort she brought both eyes to bear onto him.

“What's the TARDIS worried about, Doctor?”

“She's just being an old fuss-budget, as are you!” He gave the Pegasus a tender little bop on the end of her nose before he sprang away and started throwing switches and stabbing buttons on each of the six boards of the console with what looked like reckless abandon.

But Ditzy wouldn't be denied. She fluttered after him, taking up a position opposite him with that damn spinning horseshoe thing right between them! I had to look away, those chips suddenly trying to make a break for it!

“Doctor!” I heard her say. “She's really worried this time! … What aren't you telling me?”

I swallowed hard and went to close the door of the roundel... desperate for anything to wipe the memory of that Tesseract from my mind!

I was already closing the thing when I started... there was something else in there!

Reaching in, I withdrew a brand-spanking new balephaser pistol! Re-tooled to fit my hoof, too! I searched my back pocket and withdrew the powercell I'd been carrying and slipped it it, frowning at the readout. … How did the TARDIS manage to recharge the thing with me carrying it?

I closed the door and the light inside blinked one more time! I popped it back open and peeked in.

It was a communicator, again, made big enough for my hooves to manage. But this one, instead of being made of clear Lucite, was paneled in TARDIS-blue wood! Wow, I guessed that she really did like me! I was genuinely touched!

I turned to show it to Sunny but she'd gone stock-still, gazing at the Timelord with a troubled look.

I looked that way out of reflex and forced my gaze down to his right hind hoof. Damn that thing in the console!

“Summat's up!” Sunny whispered. “Ah dinna ken... but it doesna look good fer th' Doctor Laddie. Whin Ah was a-lookin' at him just now...” She looked away, shaking her head and wrapping her arms around herself. “There was somepony else a-standin' there! Taller, thinner, wi' great, beetlin' silver eyebrows n' mane!”

She hugged me, burying her face in my breast. I slipped the communicator into my pocket and stashed the balephaser by its magnetomic disheshion plate on my back hip and hugged her back.

“Hay! Come on, Sunny! It's just nerves! Everypony has them just before a dangerous mission. Don't dwell on it. We'll Get The Job Done and we'll come back. Or we'll re-group and try something else. It'll be OK!”

But there was an element of hollowness to my words. I'd had a sudden suspicion, forwarded to me via The Mare In My Head. How much of an 'accident' was it, I wondered, that the Picnic was on Gallopfrey than Earth? Was he saying his good-byes? But why? If he just Regenerated what would be the point of being maudlin? All he would have to do would be jump up, straighten his tie and keep moving, right? ...Unless there was something else about the process I was in the dark about. Were there limits on how many times he could do it? With a jolt I remembered the shadows of other personas that manifested themselves on his personality. … How different was the new persona anyway? He'd have to be the same Pony at the core... wouldn't he?

What did the Timelord know or suspect about what was coming... and why wasn't he telling us? Or Ditzy? I suddenly found myself wishing I has the opportunity to check his database!

Sunny looked at me with bright, imploring eyes, jolting me out of my reverie.

“'N what're ye no tellin' me?”

I was saved not by a bell, but a Faery!

She choose that moment to zip into Sunny's mane to nuzzle her ear with her elfin head!

“No, no, nooo, Sunny! Big Ponies should stay away from Prophecy! Never try an maka Universe what want or fear! Nope, nope, nope! Things happen inna way things happen! Look whahoppen to poor, poor, poor Timelords! Dokker smart but not so smarty-smart as Dokker thinks! Oooo! Tyllae wishes Big Ponies could just see! Anything can happen inna future! Not for Timelords or Discord, Big Ponies, or even Faeries to say! Nope, nope, NOPE!” Sunny just gotta be brave! Brave as everpony gotta be!”

OK, it didn't make sense to me... and I had more insight into the matter than Sunny did! She tried, though, bless here heart!

“But Ah saw...'Twas th' Doctor 'n yet.. 'twasn't th' laddie...!” She struggled.

“Be Strong, Sunny!” The Fey insisted. “Keepa true to Heart! Keepa giving Love! Keepa being Good! Smile, Sunny, an remember Magic alla time! That alla Big Pony gotta know, yep, yep, yep! Lissen to a little Faery an trust Tyllae!” She punctuated each statement with a teeny kiss on Sunny's earlobe.

There were... real elemental truths in her words. How else can I describe it? Twenty-three centuries of sophistication, second-guessing the Universe, and what passes for rationality fell away in a second and I gathered them both up in a hug! Was it a Spell? Did it matter? It was right... and I felt it down to my Augmented Earth Pony core!

Sunny dried her eyes on my shoulder quickly. “Right then! 'N stop slobberin' in ma ear, ye wee scamp! How'd ye like it if Ah did same t' ye?” She snatched the giggling Fey out of her mane and bussed her alongside her tiny head!

“Tyllae likes jus fine, yep, yep, yep!” She patted Sunny's muzzle with a teeny hoof. “Thissa why gonna be all right inna end! Tyllae hassa friends, an Tyllae's friends all have friends too!” She waved a hoof at Ditzy and The Doctor who were locked in a similar embrace over by the Console.

… I might be a stubborn Augment from Equestris, but I knew a cue when I saw one!

I practically lifted Sunny off the deck and carried her over there in three strides!

The Doctor opened one eye and regarded us as we approached. He gave Ditzy a final squeeze and let her go. The soft, gray Pegasus sniffed and rubbed at her eyes. Sunny disengaged me and twined her arms around her neck. The Doctor and I locked eyes. I wanted to look stern but the effect was spoiled when Tyllae choose that moment to perch atop my head.

He dropped my eyes hastily and focused on the Fey.

“Added a hat to your ensemble, have you?” He slid into carefree devil-may-care mode! “Love the color, but stick with a Fez! Remember! Fezzes are cool!” He partially reared and rubbed his forehooves together, looking everywhere and anywhere except at me. “Right, then! Gather up the Seal! It's time we materialized and got this show on the road, isn't it?”

“Hold on a second, Doc.” I said quietly. I fixed him with my eyes again and plopped down onto all fours. I forged on without preamble in what I had to admit was classic Equestrin style.

“Sunny and I have both had in our respective ways what amounts to a...” I couldn't find any better word. “Premonition. She'd call it an Omen but, me, I'm more pragmatic so I prefer to call it a suspicion. We both get the impression that you are under the impression that you're not coming back from this. Are we right?”

A ghost of that Fey smile flickered across his features.

“Well... “ He said quietly. “I have the advantage of being able to look at things from another perspective, don't I? I've looked into the Vortex and so I have a fair idea of how things are going to turn out. One of the last things I saw before things collapsed into Flux was the fact that... it isn't likely I'll be coming back from the Werewolf. It's just how this has to play out. I'm sorry...”

“But you said yourself that History is in a state of Flux!” I pointed out. “Since nothing is written in stone any more all bets are off as far as I'm concerned. If I have anything to say about it we're both coming back from this mission. I don't go on Landing Parties with Ponies that have a death wish. I don't need my life to be depending on somepony moping on his own mortality instead of paying attention to what's going on around him! If you can't handle it I'll take Ditzy instead. Pick or shovel, Doc! Make up your mind and I mean NOW!”

“My Dear Filly...” He narrowed his old, old eyes at me. “Are you presuming to give me orders on my own TARDIS? Need I remind you that this is not a Starfleet operation...? Oh, ha-ha, I see what you're doing there.” He adjusted his bow-tie and looked at me with an ornery look in his eyes. “You should know that I have a long and acrimonious relationship with Military Organizations so you may dispense with your pep-talk-to-the-raw-recruit efforts! I've managed armies larger than the populations of most developed worlds in my time, I'll have you know! And speaking as one who KNOWS how these things work, yes, the Timelines are in flux. Fixed points are now gray areas to me but the results all come out the same!” He punctuated the last words by tapping on my knee while holding my eyes like tractor beams.

“Do you want proof? Take a look at the photo I gave you! Go ahead!” He snapped, the ghost of an older and vastly less patient persona possessing his features.

Without dropping his gaze I withdrew the holo. Sunny and Ditzy craned around me to look and I felt Tyllae lean way forward from her perch. Neither The Doctor or myself spared it a glance.

Sunny didn't breath for a long second, then... “Wha' a bonny wee colt! We had an Earth Pony like yersel' He's adorable!” She sounded so happy I just couldn't bring myself to say anything!

“Congratulations!” I could just feel Ditzy beam!

Tyllae was silent and I hoped to Hell the Timelord would follow suit...

“A little while ago...” He said softly while I damned him silently. “It was a Filly and an Alicorn.”

“That just proves things are still in flux. It's all just potential!” I glared daggers at him as I heard Sunny go deathly still. I made it a point not to show the thing to Sunny until after the birth. I was half-afraid of something like this and I know Sunny! She'd fret herself into a frazzle checking the damn thing every day!

“When I retrieved that image it was of a Fixed Point in Time, the inevitable consequence of things the way they stood. Look again in ten minutes. It could be a Filly again, or twins, or Sunny will be there with just whatever child. Or maybe her Father will be there with the child that is all that's left of his daughter.” His eyes bore into mine relentlessly.

“As of this moment all that is certain is that there will be a birth... but even that can't be certain any more.” He finally dropped his eyes and looked away. “I'm so, so, sorry! … I was an idiot for even showing it to you. My only defense was that I thought you really needed to see it, to give you strength to see this through...” His voice trailed away as he rubbed his eyes with a hoof.

In the silence only Tyllae found her voice.

“Oh, Dokker!” She said sadly. “Dokker made a big promise long, long, long ago. Tyllae heard in inna Star-Wind. 'Never be cruel or cowardly'. Tyllae heard, yep, yep, yep! … Dokker goofed. Starry should tear that up in little, little, little bitses an throw away! Stop trying to tell Time how it should be an hold to promises that might or might now be. Tyllae asked before, where are Timelords now? How came to this? Thissa how, yep, yep, yep.”

There was neither self-righteousness nor accusation in that tiny voice. Only the sadness of a grandparent witnessing the deeds of an errant child.

“Well...” The Doctor wrapped himself up in something remote and aloof and gave the Fey a cold look. “If we had had the benefit of the Wisdom Of The Elders things might have turned out differently. But we didn't. … Forgive me, little Fey, if I don't feel compelled to apologize for my species. We did... I did and always do... what needs to be done. I'm sorry if you don't approve.”

“Dokker... no, no, nooo!” The Fey implored. “Don' go inna dark place alla lone! Let go Timelord Pride an stay onna side of light. Tyllae loves Dokker... but alla Time an Space never bend to any one Pony will, nope, nope, nope! Faeries were there, long, long, longa go and Faeries smart enuf to never try! Whatever Dokker sees, remember what little Tyllae says. Never give up but never think things gotta be! Future alla time being made, every last little second every second! Try real, real, real hard an hope for best but never expect this or that lika anypony gets to say what gonna be! Nope, nope, NOPE!”

Perhaps two very ancient and venerable members of two hoary old civilizations were philosophically duking it out in front of us lesser beings, but I didn't care! For putting Sunny through an emotional wringer like that I was madder than a miner who spent months breaking into a lode only to find it was worthless dross! Corporal Punishment balled her fists and I had to restrain her from popping the Timelord square on the nose... and I told him so!

“Doc, when we get back from this... and I'm personally going to move the Sun and the Moon to make sure we do... I'm warning you now that I fully intend to take a swing at you for doing this to Sunny! You should have let it be and you know it, damn you!”

But I might have well been talking to a tree. His eyes were still on the Fey. His gaze was hard at first, but it thawed and his features softened.

“... You certainly manage to hear a lot, don't you? The 'Star-Wind', was it? Well...” He managed a feeble but only marginally sheepish grin. “It's nice to know there's still something new to learn about. I look forward to hearing about it from you!”

He finally looked my way, but if he'd heard what I said he gave not one sign of it.

“Timelords Regenerate, that's true. But what comes out the other end of the process is an entirely new personality coping with all the memories of who came previously. The thing that you don't realize and I feel you should know is that there is a limit to the number of times it can happen. We never evolved Immortality. For better or worse we came up with this.” He shrugged. “Twelve Regenerations is the limit. My thirteenth occurred... under extenuating circumstances I won't go into now. The upshot is that I'm effectively living on borrowed time. … No sort of Timelord pun intended! There is no way to tell if my Regeneration Energy is refilled or only sufficient for this last one life. Tyllae and I are alike in this regards, aren't we? One last life to live...” He suddenly arched an eyebrow at the Fey on my head.

“Do you, I wonder, accept that your end is The End? Or do you allow yourself the hope of another chance at The Other Side? How much faith do you have in Faery wisdom? Why is your fate certain while mine is to be left to be arbitrated by hope?”

Tyllae was silent, but I heard Sunny draw an indignant breath. Even Ditzy made a scandalized sound!

Maybe it was my Augmentation that allowed me to speak...

“OK. Two swings! That's a low blow, Doc.”

“... What?” He blinked and looked at me as if I'd just popped up out of the deck.

“ Stop moping and suck it up!” I said in the way the Instructors in Basic always managed, not shouting but making their point Loud And Clear all the same. “I won't let you die and you'd damn well better not let me die 'cause you and I are going to have some words about how you treat the ponies I love. Just between we friends, you're a hell of a buck, Doc... but you're WAY overdue for a refresher course in personal interactions and I'm just the Pony to give it to you! ...Since you're so keen on learning new things.” I gave him a grim wink.

“Why does everything with you devolve into violence?” The Doctor had the good grace to at least appear alarmed. “You're worse than a Neighmerican, punching this and shooting that! And don't look so overconfident! I may be two thousand years old but I daresay I can give you a run for your money! I was quite the scrapper in my youth... small for my age! You know how that is!”

“Time will tell, won't it? And that's not a Timelord pun, either!” I was still snarked at him but... for the record... I didn't hate him. Maybe we would trade lumps and we'd let bygones be bygones, what else are friends for?

“Come on, Doc! We got a Job To Do. Time to make good or get off the Recycler! Hubba hubba one time...!”

“If ye say one word 'bout 'Time n' Tritium' Ah'll lock th' bloody door behind ye!” Sunny groused. “Ah swear! She didna graduate Basic Trainin', that lot kicked her out just t' get rid o' her!”

“ Madame... are you chivying me?” The Doctor blinked at me. That look alone made all the stings, hypothermia, and the events of the day worth it and I made sure The Mare In My Head filed the image away for future enjoyment! “ I loathe and detest being chivied! Now see here! Certain rules of Universal Conduct apply when one is in the presence of certain select species! Clause five hundred of the Shadow Proclamation clearly states...”

Tyllae cut off his bluster by flitting into his face to administer a very fruity raspberry!

“Oh fifflesticks! Iffa all that true then Dokker should watcha self! Since Tyllae is one an only Faery left that makes Tyllae Queen of The Faeries on thissa side an Faery Queen outranks silly ol Timelords, yep, yep, yep!”

She zipped back up onto my head where, I'm told, she pointed one teeny hoof imperiously at the Console of the TARDIS.

“Now Tyllae commands that Dokker go ask TARDIS very, very, very nicely to take Tyllae, Dokker, an Sunny over to talk to ol Thooly-Doodle choppity-chop-chop! Tyllae does not wanna miss dinner onna Her-mees, nope, nope, nope! ...Hay, Starry!” I felt her tap a hoof on my head for attention.

“Hmm...?”

“Maybe Tyllae oughta get extra dessert since Tyllae is Faery Queen. Whee! Tyllae likes being Queen!”

I plucked Her Giggling Majesty off my head and stuck her down the rolled collar of my new uniform!

“Long live Queen Squirt! Well you heard the lady, Doc! What do you say? Am I going with you or Ditzy... or is going to be just me and teeny-Queenie?”

A complex series of expressions paraded over that impossible face. Irritation, exasperation, and bemusement where the only ones that lasted long enough to make a clear impression. At long last that gay, Fey showed forth and he let go a laugh that left him helpless for long seconds!

“Oh dear!” He wiped at his eyes. “Oh me, oh my!” He drew a much-needed breath and dazzled us all with a smile and a look that Sunny herself would be hard put to beat!

“Oh I do love you Ponies! I really do! Every Timelord should have had a go at being one! Right!” He whirled back to the Console and began punching buttons. He hauled the CRT screen over to him. “Since this is going to be a Command Performance, Ditzy, I'm going to need you there at the Proximity and Temporal Restoration Matrix controls, the green and blue switches right there!. Sunny you stand by to pull that green one!”

“Me?” Sunny squeaked! “Ye want me at th' controls o' th' bloody thing?” She took up station by a green-handled pull chain that hung from the ceiling.

“What's it do, anyroad?” She wondered.

“It's fun!” The Doctor insisted then turned toward me. “Starry, I daresay you'll find this unsettling so I need you...” He waved a hoof in the vague direction of the door. “To look hard at the TARDIS door! Concentrate on it and anchor your perceptions... unless you want me to get more Janx Spirit?”

“Ooooh, no! Let 'er rip, Doc!” I resolutely turned my back to the Console and checked the balephaser. I twisted the power setting to 'stun' and locked it. ...After a second I changed it to 'heavy stun'!

“Oooh kaay then!” I heard him say. “Since I don't have Arcane Sensors I'm setting us down at the edge of the place where I cannot get any readings. For my money that will be the highest concentration of Arcane Energy onboard the Werewolf. That's where Our Boy is, or I'm a giggling Dalek!”

That goddess-awful scraping screech began and in my minds eye I could see the cylinder in the middle of the Console begin to do its disturbing thing. Just the though of it made my stomach squirm and I began counting the windowpanes on the door to distract myself.

Like on the Hermes, many of the controls of the TARDIS had audio confirmation that sounded as they were activated... but some of them sounded just weird!

I heard falsetto buzzes, off-tones beeps as well as something that sounded like a synthesized raspberry all in rapid succession as he plies his board.

Then the Doctor rapped out. “Now, in sequence, yellow, green... and blue!

I heard a bleep, a bloop, then as Sunny did her part... something like a hoof-full of party horns and an ascending whir-r-r as a light shower of confetti and glitter dusted us all!

I spun around just in time to see Sunny's shocked expression as she clutched the handle!

“See?” The Doctor crowed. “I told you! It's fun! Thank You, Pinky-Pie!” He slammed home a final lever and that hollow, almost subsonic boom echoed around us!

“Geronimo!”

Author's Note

I'm going to start calling these 'Episodes' now, since that's how they play out in my head. ...OK, I'll be the first to admit that, especially THIS time of year, I have waaayy to much time on my hands!:derpytongue2:

Episode Sixty-Two Desperate Measures

Episode Sixty-Two Desperate Measures

EPISODE SIXTY-TWO

DESPERATE MEASURES

“Right!” The Doctor sprang away from the Console and snatched up his bag. “Ditzy, I need you to dematerialize the TARDIS as soon as we leave. Keep tabs on us with the monitor. You'll know when we need to be picked up! Sunny, you stand by. I hope we shan't need your professional expertise but you never can tell. Starry, put this on!”

He nosed open the bag and extracted one of the Perception Filter bracelets. He flipped one at me and I caught it deftly, looping it over the wrist opposite the balephaser. It was a tight fit, the links expanded to their limits and tweaking at the fur on my wrist.

He slipped his on just in front of his watch and tucked the bag with the Seal into his coat pocket as he galloped for the TARDIS door!

I caught up with him in two strides. As we hit the door I looked back straight into Sunny's shining eyes. I dithered for just a second, trying to find something, anything, assuring to say!

But she was Equestrin Strong, my darling!

“Hurry back, Love. We've got this!” She said without a quaver or a hitch, laying a hoof on the back of the soft gray Pegasus next to her.

Ditzy nodded, a stray blonde lock falling across her mis-sychronized eyes.

“Don't worry about us, Doctor!” She called out. “Just... just come back, OK?”

The Timelord paused with one hoof raised to the handle.

“We'll be back in no time!” He smiled a frankly horsey smile. “I think we've earned a trip back to Ponyville after this, don't you think? ...Wasn't there a wedding or somesuch pending?”

Ditzy's smile faltered and she suddenly seemed to remember something VERY important! She was about to say something when Tyllae, hooked head and shoulders over the edge of my collar, waved a hoof and called out.

“Don't worry! Tyllae will keep all safe! Tyllae promises, yep, yep, yep!” I didn't have to look to see her sketch that 'x' over her little heart!

I tipped Sunny a wink and blew her a kiss as The Doctor worked the latch and stepped through. I turned sideways, ducked low, and crabbed my way out behind him.

It was dark on the other side... and it stank! I could make out the Doctor standing a little ways off, using his Sonic thing like a flashlight to take in our surroundings. I sidled over next to him, bumping into and forcing to one side a table in the process. It scraped and screeched across the floor.

“Sssh!” He whispered.

I was going to make an apologetic gesture but was cut off as the TARDIS wheezed and groaned into action as it faded away!

“You're shushing me?” I hissed back at him. “They must've heard that back on the Klingon Homeworld!”

He shook his head, the green light of the Sonic in his mouth waving in an arc. He moved it to one side like Amber Rose re-positioning his pipe and spoke around it.

“As I said before, the TARDIS has its own Perception Filter. Only the people who need to hear it will pay attention to it.”

“...And the Klingons don't figure they would want to hear something invading their ship?” I demanded.

“Don't underestimate the Old Girl, Starry!” He looked around him curiously, then raised his voice. “I wonder where we are exactly...”

The Doctor had his own light. If he found or ran into something important he'd sing out. I cast my own gaze into the surrounding gloom to check out my own locale. I raised my own voice cautiously.

“You mean you don't know?” I turned slowly, keeping one hoof on the table both to keep it moving any further as well as marking its position, and scanned around.

It was more properly dim as opposed to dark. Pale orange light showed from a light strip high up along the ceiling. We were in a large room littered with tables and chairs all scattered randomly around. Some of the chairs were toppled. They were made minimally, little more than thick wire frames with unpadded seats and low backs. As my eyes grew more accustomed to the light I could see that many of them were bent and sprung.

The air was cold and damp and smelled like the inside of a Recycler hopper, the receiving side! I sniffed distastefully and got a whiff of organic rot of some sort. My eyes took in the plates and utensils on tables. There were lumps of stuff on many of them. Even in the dimness I could see they were furry!

“The Galley.” I said quietly. “We're in their Galley. Where the crew eats...” I moved over and peered a little closer at the impromptu petri dish in from of me. “... Or ate.”

Tyllae had slipped out and was keeping close. Without a word she put up a shining bubble of Celestia-Sun light. The stuff wasn't worth looking at.

“Ah! The Cafeteria then!” The Doctor put away his Sonic in favor of Tyllae's light and came to inspect what we'd found.

“... Well I must say I'm not a fan of Klingon cuisine.”

“Smells like foxy-poop!” Tyllae declared. “Yuck, yuck, yuck!”

“They're carnivores, of course.” He said matter-of-factually, wrinkling his nose as he peered more closely at the stuff.

He stretched out his head... apparently intending to grab the edge of the plate with his mouth... and thought better of it. Instead, he got his forehooves up onto the table and... somehow... picked up a fork and inserted it under the mass and flipped it over like a pancake.

The smell hit my Augmented senses hard enough to make my eyes water! Tyllae flitted back after taking one look.

“Wormies! Klingon no-goods eat wormies lika birds!”

“Gakh... they call it 'Gakh'.” The Doctor corrected her, eyeing the desiccated remains laced with dead maggots “As I recall it's best served alive. Quite the delicacy from their point of view!” He dropped the fork with a clatter and wiped his hoof on his coat, looking around.

“But not the normal bill of fare. The crew eats more simply while their Marines eat what amounts to processed yeast culture. ...This must be the Officers Dining Room.”

“The Mess.” I supplemented, standing up to get my nose farther away. I could feel my mane brush the ceiling but I was more concerned about keeping my picnic goodies back in my stomach where they belonged. “The Klingon Deep Space Fleet has a wet-Navy tradition just like Starfleet. It's called the Officer's Mess.”

“Yes, it certainly is!” He agreed. “But they don't seem particularly keen on cleaning it up.” He didn't see... or patently ignored... my grimace as he continued. “There hasn't been anyone, officer or otherwise in here for quite some time...” He ran a hoof over the table top and displayed a coating of dust.

The Mare In My Head replayed the memories of the Doctor's arrival on the Hermes and gave me a jab as she highlighted the relevant passages.

I cleared my throat and wondered as delicately as I could manage...

“Uh, Doc? When are we now?”

“I know what you're thinking!” He said with a little snap, briefly wagging a hoof at me. “As a matter of fact I've put us down right about the time or your inspired counter-attack. Even as we speak your crew should be casting their spell... Ah!”

What light there was went out. An alarm klaxon, lower frequency than the one on the Hermes, bleated twice before petering out with a defeated groan. After a second or two the lights came up again at half power. Battery back-up emergency lighting, apparently, a bit dimmer than the lights in the mines of Equestris but serviceable enough.

As the light built up to full anemic intensity the Doctor stood beaming smugly.

“So there! I'm normally not one to say 'I told you so!', but...”

“Oh slag it, Doc!” I rolled my eyes. “Even you would have to admit it was a valid question!”

“Well...” He coughed into a hoof. “Be that as it may, now is our window of opportunity. Every Arcane power source and support system of this ship is now permanently out to lunch!”

Even as he said that I had a terrible premonition. I broke my balephaser out and checked the readouts. The balefire LED was dark and only Luna knew the state of the Arcanely-enhanced dilithium chip in the emitter assembly!

I gave the Timelord a rueful look. From the uncomfortable look on his face he knew exactly what I was thinking!

He laid his ears back and shuffled nervously. “Ah! ...Um, it's dead, isn't it?”

“Yes and no.” I said flatly, checking the safety and re-holstering the weapon. “The powercell should be intact, but the enhancement to the dilithium chip is more than likely out. Best case scenario, I'll have more shots since I won't be able to push that much power through it.” I sighed. “Worst case scenario... the damn thing will go up in my hoof. The emitter, anyway. The chip is made smaller since it was enhanced to handle the load. It cuts down on the cost of the weapon. Dilithium is expensive, after all!”

“Quite.” The Doctor murmured. “Well, it can't be helped. We're not here to fight at any rate. We'll just have to be that much more careful, won't we?” He blew out a breath that wasn't quite a sigh and looked around.

“We'd best get rolling along then!”

I scanned the room. There were three doors. Pocket doors like on the Hermes, but the seams that separated the two halves were vertical instead of horizontal. Apparently they opened side-to-side rather than up-and-down Equestrian standard. Well, what else could you expect from aliens?

“Pity we don't have a tricorder.” I said. “Any idea which way?”

He grabbed the Sonic up in his mouth and made an adjustment on it with a hoof before firing it up. As the trilling buzz started I looked to see what Tyllae was doing.

The little Fey was exploring a set of condiment containers on one of the tables. She'd been unscrewing lids and been sniffing the contents, occasionally dipping in a teeny hoof to sample things. She looked up at me.

“Tyllae was hoping for some jelly or jam or sugar but Klingon no-goods don't have any, nope, nope, nope! Lossa salty an hottie-hot-hot stuff but nothing sweet.” She said sadly. “Wha kinna people don't like sweet stuff, Starry?”

“The kind that never had Faeries, kiddo!”

She plopped down on her hindquarters and stuck a tongue out at the collection.

“Tyllae was hoping that there was even one nice thing about Klingon no-goods. Even nasty Goblins have candy!” She grumped.

Before I could say anything I was distracted by a change in the Sonics sound. That weird buzz sputtered and changed pitch before cutting out.

I turned back to the Doctor who was shaking the thing irritably and giving it an occasional whack with a hoof.

“What's up, Doc?”

“... Shouldn't you be chewing a carrot when you ask that?” He muttered. Then, before I could ask him what the Hell he was talking about, he went on.

“I put us down as close as I could to the source of the Arcane Energy on this ship.” He said irritably. “The trouble is that it is Arcane Energy and the Sonic is having difficulty reading it! The best I can do identify the more conventional aspects of this ship and steer us toward the blankest bits as it were!” He took the thing and tapped it repeatedly against the floor, try to activate it again and again. I mentally tsked. Jerry would have a fit if he caught his Engineers using the if-it-doesn't-work-beat-on-it-till-it-does method!

He brought it up to his face and peered closely at it.

“...It's acting as if there's a fault in the mechanism, confound it!” He gave it another, more forceful, whack. The thing buzzed weakly, the green light at the end flickering feebly.

“Imagine that!” I said dryly.

“Don't underestimate Timelord Technology, my dear, provincial Equestrin!” He said just a bit hotly. “It's a very rugged solid-state device with only four moving parts! Even a ham-hoofed Equestrin would be hard put to break the thing!”

“You're the only ham in this room, Doc!” I prodded him pointedly in the Cutie-mark. “Just reboot the damn thing or run a diagnostic. ...It's fully charged, isn't it?”

He snuck a look at whatever relevant readout before he answered!

“Of course it is!” He gave it another shake and tried it again. “...It's acting for all the world as if some key components are dead and its trying to compensate. Come on, you little beauty! You can do it! Work.” Whack. “Work!” Whack. “WORK!”

The Sonic warbled, flickered, and shut itself off with a final noise like an electronic raspberry!

He looked at it as if it had snapped its teeth at him! I do believe he was on the verge of dropping it to the ground and hopping up and down on it when Tyllae, watching the performance, spoke up.

“Let Tyllae hava looky-look! Tyllae can fix all kinna stuff! All Faeries good at mending an fixing, yep, yep, yep!”

“You?” We both said in unison.

“Whatta say that for?” The little Fey looked indignant.

“My dear, little Faery!” The Doctor said, “This isn't as simple as mending a cracked plate or patching a sock...”

“Tyllae!” I smoothly overrode the Timelord. “You don't exactly have a sterling track record when it comes to dealing with technological devices. Remember the replicator in the Rec Room?”

“Fiffle-piffle!” She waved an elfin hoof. “This notta like stoopid talky-machiney, nope, nope, nope!” She shook her head and her antennae jingled. “Sonic issa smart, just like TARDIS! Lossa smarter thanna silly Timelord or 'Questrin lika Starry! Tyllae is not trying to be mean... but sometimes Dokker an Starry shoulda jus hush an lissen to Tyllae!”

With that, her rosy aura sprang into being around the thing and it floated out of the Doctor's grasp and came to hover in front of the little Fey who turned her attention away from us as she carefully examined the device.

“S'okay now!” She cooed to it softly, stroking it with one hoof and nosing it here and there. Her antennae were erect and quivering with concentration.

“Now whassa wrong? ...Hmm?” She cocked a tiny ear to it and listened. She flitted to a point two-thirds of a way toward the end and peered intently from several angles.

“Awww!” She said sympathetically. “Tyllae sees now! Itta gonna be all oakey-dokes now! Starry anna Dokker jus didn't know, is all! Hmm...?” She laid an ear alongside the Sonic.

“Tyllae knows! Big Ponies don't lissen to Tyllae either nope, nope, nope! Tyllae will tell! Trust little Tyllae!” She darted up and gave the dark green crystal at the end a tender kiss and pat before wafting it back to the Doctor's waiting hoof.

“Herea go, Dokker! Be nice to poor, poor, poor hard-working Sonic from now on! Anna clean out pocket more often! … An eata mint oncea while, OK? Sonic is hurt but not in pain, nope, nope, nope! Sonic is smart an turn off hurty bits! Alla Magic parts inside all dark an still. But itta oakey-dokes, jus gotta get back to TARDIS an TARDIS fixa up inna jiffy yep, yep, yep!”

She flitted up to a point just in front of my nose and I had to go cross-eyed to look at her!

“Starry hurt poor, poor, poor Sonic when Starry giva order to cast big spell onna Klingon no-good ship! Sonic forgives, don't worry! But thissa what Tyllae means...”

She turned her gaze to the Doctor and piffed away to reappear just over his head with a pop! She drove her next points home with all four little hooves gathered together in a series of hops on the Timelord's noggin.

“'Bout how Big Ponies...” Boink! “Shouldn' messa round...” Boink! “...Witha Time!” Boink! “Nope, nope, nope!” Boinkboinkboink!

The Doctor simply stared, mouth hanging open with a look of utter and complete disbelief his eyes. If a cream pie had materialized out of nowhere and pasted him in the face he couldn't have looked more shocked! The Mare In My Head hurriedly filed that expression away for future reference as well!

“That... is... preposterous!” He declared, shaking his head emphatically and dislodging the little Fey.

“It's a mnemonic circuit, nothing more and nothing less! Science and Physics! Fantastically intricate and complex by the standards of this day, but a circuit nonetheless!” He sputtered. “With a neutrino microscope I could trace each element precisely! I've had the wretched thing apart time and again! The density of the individual connections is on the order of ten to the seventh power per micron...!”

He appealed to me with his eyes for backup, apparently.

I may not be the brightest gem in the lode but I knew... if only in that moment... that I knew less than I thought I knew. And I was just wise enough to realize it!

“Of course it's impossible to directly observe the effects at the quantum level... Schrodinger's Cat and all that... however there is no reason the density of connections should be any less.” He babbled on for the sake of his dignity. “In fact, they should increase with a commensurate increase in computational power. Toss in the variables inherent in the Uncertainty Effect and you'd have, well...” His face froze, his eyebrows shot up and The Mare In My Head had another photo op!

“... But it's all Probability at that level, isn't it? How much of a nudge would it take to cross that crucial threshold? You want a machine to act like a living mind and...” He brought one hoof up to cover his mouth. “Oh... my... word!”

“Whyfor acta so surprised?” Tyllae plopped onto her haunches there on the Timelord's head and facehoofed! “More thinky-stuff inna head than any Pony all thinking way, way, way faster! Howcome TARDIS can be alive anna not Kay-Kay or Sonic? Pony who came up with stoopid talky-machineies onna Her-mees almost getta right. Maybe soon no longer stoopid. Alla depend on how much stoopid Pony goes inna making, yep, yep, yep!”

She started prancing up and down on the Doctor's head in frustration. With more than a little trepidation I recognized the beginnings of another Faery tantrum! Before I could say anything, though, Tyllae stomped a final hoof!

“Oooo! Thassa it! Tyllae comma long to keep Big Ponies safe but nopony wanna lissen or believe little Tyllae, nope, nope, nope! Tyllae sometimes thinks Big Ponies shouldn't be allowed out 'cept onna leashes to keep from falling all over big, big, big eee-gos!”

“Uh, hey there, Squirt!” I spoke up. “Just for the record I'm behind you on this one!”

“...That's what they used to call 'throwing somepony under the bus', if I'm not mistaken!” The Doctor said accusingly.

“Hush, Doc!” I said quickly. “I'm just trying to head off...”

“No, no, no!” Tyllae shrilled. “Tyllae loves Starry but Starry finds it too easy to think Tyllae justa silly little cutie! Does Starry forget whahoppen with the Gornies? Tyllae is less than Tyllae was but Tyllae issa still a Faery an Tyllae gonna help save silly Big Ponies fromma selves! Yep, yep, YEP!”

With a final stomp to emphasize her point, she leapt off the Doctor's head toward the center of the room. The Mare In My Head jumped out of her Command Chair and ducked behind it as if somepony just tossed a live grenade in there! ...I remember thinking that wasn't such an inaccurate metaphor!

“Oh, crap!” I braced myself for whatever was coming. “Way to piss off the Faery, Doc!”

“I think we're both to blame, unless I miss my guess.” He murmured, rubbing the top of his head.

Tyllae spun in the air, drawing her little wings in tight, picking up speed until she was nothing by a rosy-pink and pale yellow blur. She shrank even more, getting brighter and brighter until...

There was a flash of buttery yellow radiance that should have dazzled my eyes. I blinked purely out of reflex and stood stock-still at what stood before us.

There was no Other Side any more for the Dear Fey, but every scrap of what she had on This One stood on display then, the haunted gloom of the Klingon Officer's Mess only making her that much more beautiful by comparison!

She was still big, big as Celestia in the visions I'd seen, but there were differences. The old version was statuesque, this one was... willowy with almost impossibly slender limbs with tiny ankles atop those shiny, jet-black hooves. Her arching neck would almost be considered too long had not her mane... a huge, curling mass of pink tipped with pale blonde highlights... covered most of it. It rippled and swayed in an unfelt wind that seemed to come from about thirty-five degrees port-forward. Not unlike the manes of Celestia and Luna, come to think of it! ...I wondered if it was her Star-Wind that blew through it.

Her antennae quested about with a flexibility the Andorians wished theirs had as they focused on one thing after another, never still. The glowing orbs on the ends seemed to randomly orbit her brow on slender tethers.

Gone was the blazing nimbus that surrounded her, though. Instead she seemed to stand in a moonbeam from long, long, ago. It teased highlights out of her gauzy, wings with their pink paisley patterns as she folded them regally to her.

Her eyes under their curling pink lashes were still her eyes, crystal-black shot through with tiny stars, and they regarded me warmly as she settled to the deck. One pale gold eyelid slid down in a wink.

This model had a mouth and the voice that came from it was warm and matronly, seeming to fill every corner of the dark room.

“Thou whilst note that there is still no 'pixie-dust' involved, Dear Starry-Eyes.”

“Hey, Tyllae! I … thought we were really in for it there. You took five years off my life just now!”

“We apologize.” The regal head bowed. “We were not truly vexed with thee or the Dear Doctor. But We experience a great deal of frustration trying to communicate complex ideas in Our... less complex form. Because Time presses us all We thought 'twould be more expedient to change Our perspective. Should we win through in the end We will see that Thee gettest thy five years back and more!”

“As long as we're handing out extra lifespans...” The Doctor chimed in. “I could use any old spare decades you have lying about, Your Majesty!” He knelt from the front, one foreleg extended and the other bent over it, his head bowed. He spoiled the effect by waggling his eyebrows up a her!

“We are a Queendom of one, thou silly soul!” She flicked him with one wing-tip as she smiled, though her eyes filled with a solemn sadness as she added. “... As art Thee, though thee hidest thy melancholy behind jest. Thy nobility is not lost upon Us yet there is nothing We might give you.” She shut her eyes slowly. “...Thee art beyond Our ability to grant or deny in any event, O errant child of Gallopfrey. The next turn of thy Destiny approacheth and nothing We can do shalt deter it. Thee must have courage, Dear Doctor... as We must!” When she opened her eyes again they were bright with unshed tears. “The Star-Wind blows where it wilt and none may dictate its course nor say what it will bring upon it!”

I cleared my throat and caught the eyes of the not-so-little Fey.

“... Weren't you the one warning us about Prophecy? And why do you feel you need courage for? I thought you had a handle on the spook over there.”

“Cthulhu hath no power over Our kind, Starry- Eyes.” She conceded patiently. “As far as Prophecy goeth...” She shrugged her wings. “We know what will soon come to pass as surely as thee knowest the consequences of thy next breath! Yet the token the Dear Doctor gaveth thee troubled Us.” Both her fathomless eyes held mine. “... We were not in the image though it hath changed twice. Even now, were thee to gaze upon it, We believe We would still be absent. Knowing Our other Self as thee knowest, dost thee not believe We would be there?”

The thought trouble me plenty, but I refused to believe it.

“Come on! It was probably Baking Day and you were just, ah, quality-checking the latest batch of cookies! Or maybe the flowers were blooming in the gardens, Hell, there could be a thousand reasons you weren't around when Amber Rose picked up the recorder! You're reading too much into it, Tyllae.”

“Oh, Starry-Eyes. We bless thee for thy thoughts! Yet... how can We hope to explain even in this form how Our Vision runs? Consider! Imagine thee art standing in tall grass up to thine ample breasts. With thy greater size thee seest more of the world around thee than thy shorter kin. It is simply thy nature to be able to do this... as it is simply Our nature to see farther by token of what We are. We cannot explain more simply than that, Starry-Eyes. Time presses Us. In nine minutes, three score ten and seven seconds...” She pause just a beat and tapped a forehoof on the deck to mark time. “As thy kind see fit to quantify what they cannot grasp... We all of us must be gone and there is still the Old One to attend to. Come, We will lead thee safely.”

Tyllae began walking away unerringly heading to the door on the long wall to our left.

“Wait! What happened in nine and one-half minutes?”

She pause and looked back at me.

“Our friends on the Hermes will destroy this ship... at thy command. We have little time... dost thee see now what We meant when We said about Time Travel being more trouble than it is worth!” She fetched The Doctor a little bop on his head with a much more substantial hoof as she passed him! “All this moving in Time and yet We must hurry! Truly! Leashes are not the half of it! We sometimes wonder why We love thee and thine so much!” Her eyes positively twinkled as she look back at the Timelord.

The Doctor, for his part, was looking like he was chewing a moldy ration bar. Well, Tyllae's words were no doubt hard for him to digest! The thump to the noggin brought him back to the present.

“Neotany, of course! All creatures tend to react favorably to ones who call to mind the aspects of their own children. ...How much of the Faeries are in Pony stock anyway?”

Tyllae's silken tail swept up and spatted the end of his nose as she stepped onward.

“Tales of Changelings... the original kind and not the corrupted Fey... must wait for later. Blame thyself, Dear Doctor! Had thee planned better We would have more leisure. Truly thy Ditzy hath the right of it! Thee should be more organized!” Smiling to herself, she ducked her head low as the doors parted and she walked into the corridor beyond.

I moved to follow, stopping by the thoughtful Timelord to give him a nudge with my elbow.

“I hope you're taking notes, Doc! That's what it's like for me around you! How does it feel?” I asked sweetly.

“Oh go peel apples with your back hooves!” He ran his forehooves through his mane, putting it back into order. “I'm by no means so patronizing and condescending, so there!” Then he rubbed his jaw thoughtfully.

“I'll admit I'm quite... astounded at the implications of what I've just discovered. Do you realize the ramifications of what this means?” He touched my knee and peered eagerly up at me. “The Timelords, wittingly or not, managed to work Magic! Magic! If we did then how many other species unravel the process? My word! There are a lot of anomalous things I've seen that I'd like to go back to in light of all this! ...Oh, dear! ” He grimaced. “I may even have to apologize to K-9! … He'll never let me live it down, I just know it!”

I didn't have time to respond. At that moment we were both caught up in a rosy telekinetic field and were wafted out into and away down the corridor.

“Quoth a Wise Mare...” Tyllae stood in the middle of a t-intersection ahead, the pips on her antennae glowing. “ 'Time and Tritium wait for nopony! Hubba-hubba one time! Hup one, hup two, hup three!'” She chuckled as she deposited us behind her.

“Alas! Even in this form We go unheeded! Poor Us, aye, aye, aye!”

* * *

If anypony had informed me a year earlier that one day I'd stroll through the bowels of a Klingon warship with complete impunity I'dve told them to go home and sober up!

OK, it wasn't precisely a purely Klingon ship any more... but if that same Pony had said some day I was going to serve an eviction notice to some slavering Eldritch Hobgoblin in the company of a Faery and a time-traveling Alien I would have socked them, bound them up in ten-ought cable, and deposited them at the nearest Psychiatric Facility where they wouldn't be a danger to anypony else!

It was... surreal! The walls of the corridors were a bit narrower than those on the Hermes and canted in somewhat the top, making them trapezoidal rather than rectangular. Medium-Grey with more, larger access panels... I wondered what that said about Klingon Engineering... with a single wide light strip running continuously through the ceiling. The light that came from it was a pale green-yellow and alongside it on either side ran a two foot span of... cables... segmented arteries... tentacles? They seemed to hang limp and I had no doubt that when the Werewolf was in top shape they would have writhed and strained with malevolent Arcane energy provided by The Prism.

The air was cold and damp and more than a little stale as if it was barely circulating. I let The Mare In My Head wonder if this was Klingon environmental standard, for my part I was feeling like a role-player in some Eugenics Wars Post-Apocalyptic simulation game... the kind that Sunny kept trying to drag me into! I sat in on a couple of sessions but was never moved to join in. Now... I had to suppress an urge to stop to scavenge the rooms behind the sealed doors we passed or loot the bodies!

For bodies there were! The Diamond Dogs, in their armor and wearing their sashes like Kyr's crew, roamed the ship. Half a minute after we started traveling a squad of three rounded a corner ahead of us at a dead run and charged with a howl and a flash of their wicked bladed claws. Exactly as if they knew we were there!

My gun came up faster than Tyllae could flit... but they fell and sprawled with a clang and a clatter, skidding bonelessly to a stop almost at our hooves!

Tyllae never paused or even looked, stepping over the bodies and sedately continuing on her way.

The Doctor and I paused, checking for a pulse on wrist and neck. He pulled one eyelid open and regarded the blank, unseeing eye silently. We exchanged looks and hurried to catch up!

“They're dead.” The Doctor said hotly. “You didn't have to kill them!”

“Of course We did, Dear Doctor.” The Fey paced on, not looking at him. “They will all be dead soon enough. Better for them to sleep and have their hearts and brains stop than to burn or gasp for air and freeze in the Void. We are being as merciful as We can be.”

“This hardly 'mercy', Madame!” The Doctor sped up and whirled to a stop in front of the Fey, blocking her path. “Incapacitate them and I can take them back to their homes after we've sorted things out here! Killing them is unnecessary! ...Or do mortal lives mean nothing to you if they become inconvenient?”

Tyllae stopped and considered the Timelord. I found myself holding my breath, remembering Caper's concern after Tyllae dealt with the Klingon on the Bridge of the Hermes. What the Hell was I supposed to do if she decided...?

With a start I realized Tyllae was looking right at me, her ears poking out of her mane and antennae erect, look of hurt in those star-strewn eyes.

“Starry! … We are grieved that thee couldst ever think that We would ever harm thee and thine.” Then her eyes softened and an expression of sheepishness came across that regal face.

“That is Our fault. If We spent more or Our time with thee in discourse with this form thee wouldst know Us better and fear Us never. ...But thy rooms are small enough and We like our warm bed too much to put thee out!” She stretched out and nuzzled my nose with her warm one before returning her gaze to the Timelord.

“Dear Doctor, We know the blood on thine own hooves makes thee treasure each and every life. The Fey have always honored thee for thy compassion! But know thee this! These creatures never trod the soil of distant Equestria. Nay, these are but tools of Discord made by the vile virtue of his hated Prism. Their counterfeit lives little more than blind instinct and the compulsion of the will of their poor, sick master!” She lifted an angelic hoof to stroke the side of The Doctor's neck.

“Verily there are none here for thee to bear home. Hath thee not wondered where all the Klingons are? They are all about us but we will see them not. … But thee hath already suspected as much. Thee hath seen this before. Behold!”

Her telekinesis glowed around a fitting mounted over the next bulkhead, just where somepony would mount a Security Monitor...

The cover came loose and drifted gently to the floor, exposing to the air a naked eyeball in a container of clear gel. Fine green tendrils covered its rear hemisphere and twined together behind it to connect with some unholy network hidden within the walls. As we watched it twitched, jerking around to focus on each of us in turn again and again and again!

I felt sick and The Mare In My Head threw up her hooves and threw in the towel, swiveling her Command Chair resolutely away from her Main Viewer and reaching behind her for a flask of Auld Hornsgleam...

Milky Way said the Klingon life-signs were indistinct, as if they were dispersed throughout the Werewolf. ...Here was the reason why.

I was unable to turn away from the sight so I just shut my eyes. Dear Luna doing backflips...! I just wanted to go home and get away from all this!

I heard Tyllae speak softly and sadly.

“Captain Kyr thought his crew were above being mere soulless hoofsoldiers for even so great a Master who was not, after all, any sort of 'True Warrior'. In his madness and lust for vengeance he though it better for them to become as one with their great ship... for 'The Glory Of The Empire'”. They became his eyes and ears and limbs that he would know all that transpired within these tainted walls.” She paused and though I couldn't see it, I just knew that the light went out of that twisted morsel of what used to be a Klingon soldier.

“Through these and many others he would have been aware of us at once and would have roused the Old One to the danger of those We hold dear. ...We slew him the instant We came here, of course.”

In the silence that followed The Doctor cleared his throat quietly.

“Of course.” He said quietly. When I opened my eyes again he was rubbing his face with one hoof.

“That's twice I've badly underestimated things so far!” He arched a knowing eye at the Fey. “These things happen in threes, don't they? At this rate of progression my next one should be a real, ah, doozy!”

“Speak no words of ill-omen, Dear, Dear Doctor!” She looked at him with real alarm before sidling close to me to hold me with one iridescent wing.

“Starry-Eyes... truly we must be going.” She said softly.

I drew a deep breath and let it out.

“I'm fine. I'm fine!” I assured her. “... I just have to wonder how bad are things going to get before this is all over?”

The Fey blinked and blanched and looked away quickly.

“Truly, We implore thee both three times! Speaks no words of ill-omen! Come!”

She broke away and resumed her pace. The Doctor and I hurried to keep up, keeping our misgivings to our respective selves.

We ran into two more packs of Dogs. The last ones had guns!

They lay in ambush and fired around the corners of a four-way intersection ahead of us. They carried white and silver pistols that made weird ululating sounds as they fired, making the air in front of us quiver and shimmer visibly as they impacted against the shield she summoned. I couldn't make out any ionization trace in the atmosphere... were they sonics? Given their sensitivity to sound that seemed ridiculous!

She had been silent since our last exchange and was looking preoccupied, picking up her pace unconsciously as if something was gnawing at her.

When they fired The Doctor dodged and I threw myself in front of Tyllae instinctively as she just stood there.

“Three times!” She caroled, stomping a hoof. “No more!”

They fell dead, of course. After that we encountered no more living Dogs.

I snagged one of the guns as we hurried by. Looking down I could see, since one of their helmets came off as he fell, that they had hearing protection of some sort jammed in their ears.

It was a little longer than a balephaser, but slimmer with a gleaming white stock upon which were the shiny silver assemblies holding what I assumed were the powercell and the mechanisms that regulated the power flow. Two long, six-sided wave guides flanked the end of the barrel, looking almost too absurdly delicate and fragile to be part of a weapon. There was no magnetomic dihesion plate in evidence so... once I figured out how the safety worked... I stuck it in my pocket. Rocky would appreciate the chance to study Klingon firearms. For I had no doubt it was Klingon, the Dogs were having difficulty holding them in their paws... they just weren't articulated in that way!

Tyllae led on onward, stepping around and over more and more bodies as we progressed. She'd killed them all throughout the entire ship after their third try at killing us. The Faery Rule Of Three...

She was right, I was in the habit of thinking of her as the giggling little cookie-glutton with the penchant for talking with plants and hexing technical things that irritated her. That episode on the Gorn ship was just a one-off aberration and I was dismayed at how quickly I'd put the memory away.

I wondered how much of that attitude was her doing? I looked at her as we went along, but her attention was turned inwards and her antennae never strayed in my direction. If she had picked up on my feelings just then she didn't give any indication. It was nice to know she wasn't completely omniscient!

No... and for the record... I wasn't afraid of her! But the idea that the charming little thing that laughed and played and slept snugly between my breasts at night and the all-powerful Angel of Death with a penchant for Royal Pronouns were one and the same being was... disturbing!

Yet she wasn't infallible! Discord nearly killed... had killed her... with a sliver of steel just longer than one of my eyelashes! She gave that half of her life trying to save us back on Cestus-III. That three of us walked away wounded in our various ways didn't detract from the fact that she couldn't save Stimbolt. I take the responsibility for the Ponies on my ship by virtue of my being in Command... but hers was a more ancient responsibility. In her eyes I didn't fail to save Stimbolt's life, Dazzle's sanity, or Sunny's heartbreak. She failed us, and the traditions of Starfleet and Military Protocol be damned!

How could you not love... and pity... a Faith and Devotion like that?

“We love thee as well!” The Fey murmured only to me as she stopped. OK, she really was paying attention. I gave her shoulder a pat as I came to a halt.

The corridor she was following was the vertical leg of a 'T' and let out upon a double-wide corridor. We could see a double-wide door, massively armored and set in an equally massive-looking bulkhead. Engineering, I assumed. The wide corridors led, maybe, to airlocks set in the hull to accommodate the moving of large pieces of equipment and components. Old Starfleet ships had the same set-up, at least until Transporter technology and Arcane Teleportation made them unnecessary. Starfleet Intelligence suggests the Klingons make extensive use of slave labor. Maybe they just had gangs of slaves do the heavy work. Mental visions of dozens of ragged souls dragging antimatter core components with ropes under the whips of sadistic taskmasters fell away as my brain caught up with what I was seeing!

The Dogs certainly hadn't been idle! Maybe the teams sent after us were designed to slow us down just so their brethren could do this!

No fewer than thirty of them sprawled in front of the door to Engineering, piled so close together they could only have just barely been able to move. A few had just their clawed cesti, many had the Klingon pistols, more had rifle-sized versions of the same thing. There was even something in black and bronze set up on a tripod sporting a blackened two-inch muzzle! An honest-to-Luna ballistic gun?! But the kicker lay beside it, a roughly cylindrical casing of dull red that trailed the components that once linked it to its propulsion mechanism...

There's an old cliche that talks about having ones mane stand up on end... in that instant I would have sworn it was perfectly true!

“Ho-lee Luna playing marbles with asteroids!” I gaped and pointed at the thing. “... A photon torpedo? They were gonna stop us with a motherf...?”

“Antimatter bomb?” The Doctor leaned around the Fey to look at the weapon with an irritating aplomb. “Well, it certainly speaks volumes about their fighting spirit, doesn't it?” He said dryly, then added. “ ...And mind your language, My Dear!”

“Give me a ….” I shot the Timelord a glance. “Flipping break! A photon torpedo!? What in the name of Faust did they think they were going to do with a photon torpedo warhead? I thought the Roamulans were nuts but these clowns must've been as loopy as...”

Tyllae spread her wings in alarm, her antenna questing about with rapid flicks as she braced all four feet!

“No, no, no!” She moaned. “Conjure him not by his name!”

All in an instant, the Diamond Dogs shimmered and dissolved away into a vapor that was pulled straight through the sealed door behind them! I used a word that would get me a paddling even at my age and drew both my guns, savagely twisting the force setting on the balephaser to its maximum setting!

The Doctor seemed to take it all in stride.

“This is it, then.” He said calmly.

Then he roared out, rearing onto his hindlegs. The little stallion could really put out the decibels when he wanted to!

“Well, bring it on, Big Boy! I brush my teeth with tougher things than your sorry lot! There are a LOT of dead Cyberponies and Daleks who thought they could take me! D'you think YOU can, you spineless, maggot-mouthed, freakshow!”

This was the Doctor in his element! The frenetic, reckless daredevil aspect of his persona possessed him completely as he stood there jeering in the face of impossible odds. The terrible concentration in his eyes alone betrayed the act as his mind worked at Warp Speed, combing centuries of unfathomable experience for the solution that would Save The Day. This was The Doctor at his most brilliant and dangerous!

… Would it be enough against the Prism and the mad thing that wielded it?

He dropped back onto all fours, his body singing with adrenaline!

“There! See what I mean? You don't have to lapse in vulgarity to get your point across. It's all in the...” He struck a pose. “Delivery!”

The doors to Engineering unlocked with an echoing clang! They slid apart slowly, first the left then the right. Absolute blackness showed beyond them and absolute silence seemed to flow out of them.

When nothing happened, The Doctor called out.

“Oi! Afraid to come out, you great, steaming...?”

What happened next is... hard to describe!

The gaping doors seemed to rush up at us in an instant, growing huger and huger until the blackness in their frame completely engulfed us!

Then, just like that! The lights were on again!

We were standing in what I assumed was, originally, the Klingon Engineering Bay. Pale yellow light shone down upon up from light panels on the ceiling high above us. For a starship it was a cavernous space, a little more than two decks high... not unlike Main Engineering on the Hermes. I scanned the room, taking in the sight of the Klingon analogue of Impulse Drive mechanisms, vast Engineering computer banks, and the stairs that led up to the upper level where their Warp Core lay back in the days then this was only a Starship.

Now most of the lower deck was dominated by something that looked like an old-style acceleration couch, or maybe Doctor Frankenpony's idea of a bio-support bed, forty feet long if it was an inch! There was barely room for the three of us with it there.

It was contoured, form-fitted for its occupant. Empty now, I could make out indentations accommodating grotesque limbs and an oddly-curved spine. The headrest was particularly large and was made for something truly weird! I was glad to tear my eyes away from it.

More of those strange cable/tentacles ran from it in all directions, really big ones that inserted themselves into walls and instrument banks. One of them blocked the right-hoof stair to the upper level on its course to where it lay jammed into the one time Warp Core.

Above the bed, jammed up against the wall, sat the carved wooden throne of Discord with its gems and the Lord of Chaos lounging upon it! He was worse for the wear of recent events. His mane, never neat, was decidedly scraggly looking and there were creases on his formerly smooth and untroubled face. His huge eyes with their yellow sclera were bloodshot and he seemed to squirm with nervous energy even as he appeared to sprawl at ease upon his seat.

“How's that for 'Relative Dimensions'! What? You were expecting 'Mighty Cthulhu'? He's in here where he belongs!” He cackled at the Timelord, whacking the Prism in his talon against his lion's paw for just a moment, then his mad, mad eyes flicked to the rest of us!

The Prism in his talon stabbed at Tyllae!

“Didn't I kill you already? You really should have the good sense to stay dead, you know! But since when could Faeries be accused of having good sense? Sooo flighty and caught up in whatever catches their fancy for the moment... like YOU!”

The glittering thing centered dead on me, I felt like I was in the metaphorical cross-hairs of the Hermes' main balephaser banks!

“A sex-change operation...?” His bushy eyebrows gathered together in a frown. Don't ask me how, but I could just feel him examining me down to the cellular level. It was... unpleasant! “No...” He muttered to himself a moment later. “It's more than that isn't it?”

He whipped the Prism across his eyes and peered at me through one of its gleaming facets.

“So...” He slowly lowered the thing and regarded me with dilithium-hard eyes. “ The 'Princess of the Night' found a way to come snooping into your dreams, eh? I'll give her something to look at! I'll make her sit and watch the nightmares of a trillion lives as I add them to my Prism! I'll suck the whole of their precious Equestria-Among-The-Stars up and her precious Sister...!” He stopped suddenly and glared at the Prism.

“No, not Celestia!” He said firmly. “ We leave her alone! Powerless... but alone... got me?” He shook it like The Doctor trying to cudgel his Sonic back into working order.

“It is as We told thee, Discord.” Tyllae said softly. “Renounce the work of thy madness whilst thou yet hath dominion over it. Verily, thou hast wronged Celestia and the kin of Fluttershy but thou mayest yet redeem thyself. Only the hoof that wields thy Prism may undo its vile work! Which is the stronger, the Prism or the claw of Discord?”

At the mention of Fluttershy's name one eye blazed yet, somehow, the opposite one softened. On Ditzy that would have been a cute performance, but this was Discord ...and the Prism was held by the arm on the side of the blazing eye!

He leaped up in his throne and gripped the thing like a javelin, holding it over his shoulder as his body tensed to pin the Fey to the deck like a butterfly in a collection!

“Right! Now that we've got your attention...” The Doctor trotted off to one side, seeming to be unruffled as the Prism followed his progress. He stopped and adjusted his bow tie and cleared his throat into one hoof before suddenly hooking the Lord of Chaos with a stern gaze.

“As a representative of the Federation of Pastures and in accordance with the Articles of the Shadow Proclamation, as well as for the sake of trillions of lives on countless un-aligned worlds who otherwise have no stake in your self-proclaimed vendetta, I am hereby ordering you to stop your wanton Temporal Activities! You're mucking about in Time, my friend, and that's MY domain!” “... If I were you, I'd just...” He gave a little shrug. “Run!” A shadow of that devil-may-care bravado accented the terrible menace in his eyes!

I swallowed hard and put away my weapons... what good would they have been anyway... and moved off away from Tyllae. If The Doctor thought it was a good idea to keep his attention off the Fey who was I to argue?

I summoned up every last erg of willpower at my disposal to keep my voice steady and loud enough as I put my two credits worth in.

“Look, my credentials may not be so nearly impressive...” I began. “But I'll speak on the Federations' behalf.” I spared The Doctor a firm glance. He acquiesced with a nod as I continued.

“Your quarrel is ultimately with us after all, isn't it? Why drag everthing and everybody else along into it? I know who I'm talking to, but I have to ask. What's the logic to it? Even you have to have some rationale behind your motives! What's the point of turning the whole Universe into Chaos? You can do that to any locale you set up shop in and even you can only be in one place at any given instant. How are you any further ahead by doing this? Even a God has to make sense for his worshipers praise to mean anything!”

I wet my lips and forced my hooves behind my back like I was addressing a review board.

Discord must have picked up on the vibe because, with a flash of light, he was in his Admiral Quicksilver guise sitting behind his desk again. He'd materialized the thing right in front of me, his elbows were propped up on it and the Prism made a bridge between his hooves. He rested his chin upon it as he regarded me with cool, only marginally-interested eyes. This time, though, the little figurine on the desktop was different. It was kneeling beneath a new banner. This one, instead of displaying the device of the Federation, bore an image of the Prism itself on a radial field of rainbow colors. He seemed oblivious to it, but it gave me an idea! The concepts whirling around my brain crystallized in that instant.I took a page from The Doctor's book and just winged it! What did I have to lose, anyway?

I took a step forward, unfolded my arms and leaned on the corners of the desk, my muzzle just inches from his. His breath stank and I concentrated on breathing through my mouth.

“Tyllae is right, you know.” I said confidentially. “The Prism isn't just a tool any more... if it ever was in the first place! Oh, I'll concede that you nabbed something out of that Primal Fire of yours, but you weren't making it. I think you were actually feeding it all those lives, but you didn't notice. Now its grown strong but do you know what I think? I think that whatever gratitude it once had is getting strained. Its powerful and I think its wanting to express itself. Billions of sentient minds have been added to it and you know how it is with sentience, its organized! Simple thoughts and emotions... chaotic thoughts and emotions...naturally become more codified. Simple systems give way to more complex ones. Whole populations stop shouting and whacking each other on the head to act together to promote their common good. It's just the nature of things. Energy gives way to matter and Chaos gives way to Entropy!”

“You've been a Hell of a guide for it... at first. But from where I'm standing, as a purely objective bystander, I think you're just holding it back now. ...And it knows it!” I casually flicked the banner with a forefinger, drawing his attention to it.

“Just between you and me, Pal!” I said quietly. “I think it needs somepony with a more … rational point of view to show it what it could really become.” I put all my credits into the pot and turned my gaze to the gleaming Prism.

“Isn't that right?”

Well, desperate times call for desperate measures and all that! I had no clue what, if anything, would come of it... but as I watched the Prism seemed to twitch in his grasp. One of the facets oriented in my direction and I had no doubt in that one bone-chilling instant that something was returning my gaze! Something that brooded upon me with speculation and... interest!

Admiral Quicksilver disappeared at once, never again to return! Discords' shaggy eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened. He sat up straight, towering over me!

“Oh no you don't!” He snarled, then thundered! “How dare you! You miserable plodding, pedestrian PONY! IT'S MINE!”

He clutched at the Prism, but paw and talon passed through it as if he were trying to grasp a sunbeam! The Prism hung there in empty air as solid as a fact and waited. ...I only had to reach out a hoof and take it.

Damn me, but I hesitated an instant too long! Look, given a choice between leaving it in his hands and taking it into mine, the decision seemed obvious! I still shudder at the prospect of what could have happened! Still...even Trottenheimer must have has some doubts when he oversaw the making the first Atomic Bomb. And Starbubble himself must have had some qualms when he climbed into the cockpit of the Phoenix and set Ponies on the road to the Stars.

What would I have done with the Prism in my grasp? ...But how could I justify not taking the chance? I'm not the best my People, nor even in the top ten million of the Citizens of the Federation, but this was A Job I Had To Do. … And I blew my chance. My gamble had failed spectacularly and I wondered how long I would live to regret it!

Discord grappled the Prism and strained against it like he was trying to key-wind Celestia's own gigantic cuckoo clock! It moved only slightly in his grip, reluctant perhaps. He kicked the desk straight at me as I belatedly made a grab for it!

I slammed against the bulkhead hard enough to see stars but I grabbed the thing up bodily and flung it straight back at him, charging in right behind it with bloody murder blazing in my eyes!

Did he reassert his dominance over his creation or did it let him take it up? Who knows? But in that instant he snatched it up and swung it at me like a baseball bat and brought it down right on top of my head!

Ouch! I had no doubt that he fully intended to kill me but I'm convinced that the Prism itself lessened the blow. I'd done that much, at least!

Still, it felt as if I'd been hit by a runaway Starship! I hit the deck with my chin and only my Augmentation kept me from blacking out. I could feel the blood wetting my mane as I forcibly focused my eyes and watched him grab the thing up like a spear to deliver the finishing blow while I frantically willed my body to get up and move!

Something like a discus rocketed in edge-on and smacked him on an ear! The Eldar Seal rang like a bell... or maybe it was Discords' head that made that sound... and it rebounded back the way it came while the Lord of Chaos screwed up his eyes and screamed in pain!

If The Doctor had a follow-up for that he never got a chance to use it for at that moment Tyllae cut loose with the Big Faery Guns!

A ravening bolt of blazing golden light as thick as my body blazed from behind me not a yard above my head and Discord was hammered into the back wall straight through that ghastly support couch.

The clever Fey aimed not at the Prism, catching Discord with a low blow below the belt! There are no rules in a fight to the death, after all...

I had a brief, almost comical, impression of the Lord of Chaos' eyes bugging out and his cheeks distended with a scream that just couldn't come out as he disappeared into the smoking hole his body ploughed out of the Klingon Engineering Bay!

There was no antimatter back there any more, or else we all would have been goners! Still, coolant and smoke billowed out, lurid maroon and gray billows lit by brief flashes as battery-powered systems shorted out! The lights stayed on by a miracle or perhaps the Klingons had their own version of permanent light panels.

Whatever the case, I sprang up when I saw paw, talon, and Prism grip the edges of the horizontal crater as he pulled himself out.

I spoiled Tyllaes' next shot but I didn't care. This was personal and he had it coming!

He came out with his head thrust far forward and I hit him with a no-finesse right cross delivered at Warp Speed!

The last time I hit him he was the proverbial Immovable Object but now the Prism wasn't lending itself to the fight. The results were both gratifying... and disturbing!

I didn't break my hoof this time, though I did scrape my knuckles raw as his head smacked back into the jagged edge of the hole he pulled himself out of. He hit so hard that his stag horn broke off... and both his eyes popped out of his head!

They bounced like balls, spinning rapidly and glared up at me from two different vantage points on the deck as the rest of him fell backwards. I was in no mood to be charitable or repulsed by the display. Instead, I lashed out with a hoof and did my best to stomp them flatter than day-old cider!

But they were nimble little things! The heavier-than-air coolant vapors didn't help my aim as they bobbed and bounced, dodging my best efforts.

The coolant was toxic and looked very similar to the stuff the Federation uses to keep the balephaser coils from turning themselves into plasma during use. I was trying to breathe in shallow gasps but I was stirring up clouds of the stuff while more kept billowing out that damn hole. I was coughing, Augmentation or no Augmentation, by they time they zig-zagged their way back Home!

I was mad as Hell, but I wasn't stupid enough to charge in there to slug it out with that maniac in close, poisoned quarters! I sprang away, trying to find some higher ground to take refuge on.

But Tyllae was still with us! A faintly rosy globe occurred around me and cool, clean air flowed in from Luna-knows where! I took a cleansing breath and spat out maroon-colored phlegm!

I looked about quickly and saw Tyllae blazing in all her Elfin Glory and gave her a grateful look. I spotted The Doctor on the other side of the room perched upon what, in the Hermes, would be one of the Intermix Control Assemblies.

He, too, stood in a rosy bubble of clean air with the Eldar Seal leaning up against one foreleg.

“That was soo good!” He enthused. “That was brilliant! Couldn't have done better, myself! Let's hope we live to capitalize on this! Help's on the way! Listen!”

After what Tyllae did, in a rational Universe, I should have been deafened! But I caught the faint sounds of the screeching wheeze of the TARDIS building in intensity and I began to hope that we would get out of this after all!

“That ...HURT!” Discord bellowed as he hauled himself into the open... peeking first to the left and right of the hole before fully emerging!

Tyllae pasted him again with a tighter, more coherent argent beam! Although it staggered him, he leaned into it as if he were facing a driving wind and held the Prism before him. The blazing radiance washed across an otherwise invisible sphere, enlarging the mouth of the hole he stood in and gouging the deck but leaving him unscathed. The Prism was protecting itself and Discord was benefiting from it indirectly.

The Fey furrowed her angelic brow and she reared as she poured everything she had left into it, desperately buying us time for the TARDIS to arrive. But there were limits to what she could do, marooned on This Side as she was! She almost did it, but fell back to all fours exhausted. ...And the TARDIS still wasn't there yet!

I swore and got ready to leap down and go to her aid as he advanced, holding the Prism like a dagger to deliver a gutting blow. But he stopped dead, looking shocked as he finally picked up on the sound!

“Not this time you don't!” He said fiercely, hoisting the Prism onto his shoulder like a rocket launcher and whirling to cover all the corners of the room.

The Eldar Seal arced in and impacted at a perfect ninety-degree angle!

...You know, I really think it was his head making that gonging sound!

“Oi, Stumpy!” The Timelord called out. “What's that behind you, then?”

Discord stopped clutching his head and whirled to face the hole in the Engineering Bay... and the TARDIS flicked into being directly above him and pounded him flat into the deck in a swirl of smoke and coolant!

The same instant it landed the door flew open and my beautiful, beautiful Sunny leaned out the door.

“Move yer butts! Th' bloody cavalry's arrived!”

We piled in, Tyllae first, instantaneously assuming her tiny form 'sooper-suit' and all! I was a fast second, with The Doctor almost trampling my tail as he crowded behind!

“Go, go, GO!” He called out as soon as he shut the door!

But Ditzy didn't need and prompting! She threw the switch at the second syllable and the TARDIS wheezed to life.

Sunny threw her arms around me and kissed me!

“Ye were bloody marvelous! Knocked his bloody lights out his bloody head! Och, Ah wish Ah could o' got a picture!”

“Hay! Tyllae helped! Tyllae gets kisses, too!”

Sunny gathered her up with one arm in a three-way hug and lavished the giggling little tyke with kisses!

The Doctor couldn't, I suppose, help sounding smug.“ I got a couple of good licks in myself... though I'll settle for an 'atta-buck', eh?” It was a wonder that he could even work the controls the way he did with Ditzy hugging him so tight!

I found myself grinning like a maniac in dawning realization. We'd actually made it! Not only that, we'd found a way to drive a wedge between Discord and the Prism! We could fight back!

I crushed Sunny to me and gave her such a kiss!

Then... the TARDIS lurched! The wheezing groan it made shuddered and stuttered. From somewhere came the tolling of a deep bell pealing with an echoing b-o-n-g-g-g-g!

A gleaming nine-faceted spear, three inches wide and yards long sheared through the deck between myself and The Doctor!

It withdrew and I dumped Sunny unceremoniously as I steadied myself . Ditzy was flung away and The Doctor flung himself at the controls, shouting!

“No! No, no, nooo!” He threw switches, punched buttons, and yanked levers like the self-proclaimed Madpony he was!

The Prism stabbed up again, penetrating the deck at a thirty-degree angle not a yard from the Timelord! The Doctor hung on, desperately trying to save the TARDIS and all the rest of us.

“Tyllae!” I shouted. “Change back and blast the damn thing! We have to keep it off us to give us enough time to get out!”

“Tyllae can't!” The Fey wailed. “Too much metal, too much Magic! Tyllae will kill poor TARDIS an Tyllae if do!”

I swore with enough savagery to blister bitanium! Discord had control of it again! Enough, at least, that he was able to persuade it to this much. However the Prism thought of me, he'd convinced it that The Doctor was a mutual threat. And it was zeroing in on him!

There wasn't anything else for it, I made a grab for the thing. If I could get my hands on it I should... I hoped... be able to get its attention. Maybe I could get it to lay off us... it wasn't as if there was a viable plan 'B'!

But it withdrew again as I threw myself toward it! I scrambled back to my hooves.

“Move it, Doc! It's coming for you!”

“I can't leave the controls! I'm not leaving her!” The Doctor cried back. “Ditzy! I need you at the Dimensional Controls! Emergency micro-jump back to the Hermes! Re-materialize, then give it all we've got! I'll hold her together in the meantime!” He yanked a flurry of levers and pounded buttons as he danced around the Console! He couldn't spare me a glance but he spoke as he worked.

“Full power take-off from a standing start!” He said in a hurry as Ditzy pounced on her panel. “Enough power to cross half of Time put into a thousand yard jump! Very bad for the local Spacetime! They'd revoke my license on dear old Gallopfrey... if I'd every bothered to get one!” The Console spat sparks and smoke!

“Hang in there, Sexy!” He waved the smoke out of his face and batted down a small fire. “Ditzy!”

“All set, Doctor!” The soft gray Pegasus literally hovered over her board keeping the controls in easy reach. A stray lock of blonde mane fell across her eyes as she determinedly kept both eyes focused!

B-o-o-n-n-n-g-g-g-g-g!

Small explosions happened somewhere nearby. In the walls, I think. A hoof-full of the roundels burst open, spewing smoke at the whole place juddered like the Hermes sprinting through the Warp Five threshold!

The scraping moan of the TARDIS became unsteady, sounding eerily like a drawn-out scream. No mere mechanism would have put up with so much. Safeties would have shut anything else down long ago.

… But the TARDIS really loved The Doctor! She powered on, letting him do what she didn't have the strength for!

“Hang in there, Old Girl!” He half encouraged, half pleaded. “You're going to get such a round of maintenance after this! We'll jettison half these old decks so you don't have to lug so much stuff about! We'll even get rid of the swimming pool, I know how much you hate it! Ditzy! Re-materialize... now! With any luck we'll squash him flat again! Right! Jump in three... two...on-”

His voice cut off in a straining gasp as the Prism erupted from the deck by his left rear hoof and passed through his body to exit high on the right side of his neck, six inches of gleaming crystal shining with deadly brightness!

He blinked in almost comical surprise then shuddered and convulsed, his body trying to curl itself around the thing that impaled it. His hoof spasmed at the controls as he forced his jaws open to silently mouth “Go!”

Ditzy screamed and threw the switch. Tyllae wailed and I froze in place. My first impulse was to haul him straight up and off and hand him to Sunny... but he'd bleed out in an instant if I did that! I thought about trying to break the damn Prism off at the deck but that would have done even more damage to him! I cudgeled my brain for something to do!

The Prism saved me the decision and withdrew so quickly I barely saw it move. The Doctor, rigid in his dying agony, fell against the Console and toppled to the floor.

The engines of the TARDIS screamed and strained, jerking us all around so badly that I missed catching the Timelord. I sprawled on my side and scrambled to regain my footing!

From outside the TARDIS came a clap of thunder that red-shifted almost instantly to a dull rumble. The whole place gave an almighty leap that made all of us not airborne bounce off the deck. ...And then everything leveled out!

The TARDIS still sounded... sick... but we were free and clear!

I made it to all fours and made for The Doctor. Sunny was already there. She didn't bother with her medkit and had fired up her horn. Her back was to me, but I could tell by her body language that something was wrong!

I crabbed around her, reaching out to hold him down so she could get to work. I stopped dead, staring!

Blood. There should have been blood, lots of it! The damn thing should have sheared through half a dozen major blood vessels and assorted organs. Hell, it had to hit his heart! At that angle it just had to!

But not a drop showed. Instead, bright golden smoke drifted from his wounds! He coughed a bright cloud of it as he lay there, his convulsing winding down to the final rictus of death.

“What...th'...bloody...Hell?” Sunny wondered. “Ma spell wilna touch him!” Panic edged into her voice.

“His glow isna fadin'. 'Tis growin' by leaps n' bounds! If Ah didna know better Ah'd say th' laddie's goin' up like a bloody bomb! ...How is that even possible?” Her tear-stained face turned to me.

I spread my hooves silently, only then feeling the tears running down my face.

Tyllae zoomed up, pushing at Sunny's shoulder urgently.

“Dokker all gone now, Sunny! Gotta go now! Not safe to stay, nope, nope, nope! Pleeeze, Sunny! Pleeeze, Starry! Lissen to Tyllae! Gotta go, go, go!”

I learned my lesson about heeding the tiny Fey! I took her by the arm and urged her up, looking around in a daze.

Smoke drifted lazily in the Control Room. The explosions had stopped, though some of the controls still fizzled and sparked. In between the tolling of that bell, beyond the noise of the ailing TARDIS, the only sound was a quiet whimpering punctuated with sniffles and the muted sounds of controls confirming their activation.

Ditzy was still at her post, her face a hellish mask of mingled fierce concentration and heartbroken grief. She operated her controls at arms length lest the tears that ran off her face would fall onto it adding to the chaos.

“She's right!” She sniffled and dashed a hoof across her eyes before continuing. “You've got to get out of here. I'm... I'm taking you back to your ship but you have to leave as soon as you get there. You have to be off the TARDIS before... before... before he dieeees!” Her voice frayed away in a sob that wracked her where she hovered.

She sounded like a five year old foal, even more wretched than Tyllae on that first night in our cabin.

We moved toward her but she held up a hoof!

“No...!” She choked. “The longer you stay the more it's hurting him! I have to take us away until it's over... one way or another.”

She threw a final lever and the TARDIS groaned to a stop with that pervasive boom! The doors, both of them, opened silently.

“Go!” Ditzy whimpered. “Hurry and just go...please!”

Sunny wanted to go to her but I pulled her gently away. Tyllae didn't recognize my authority just then and flung herself against Ditzy's neck to deliver a last elfin hug before making a beeline for the door.

I paused in the doorway and took one last look within. The Doctor's body was flaring with golden light. I could hardly make him out any more. Beyond him, almost lost in the glare, Ditzy whimpered and sobbed.

I stepped out backwards, whacking my head on the door-frame, and stood with Sunny as she cried silently in the gloom of Cargo Bay Two.

The doors to the TARDIS closed one last time. The light atop it started to blink and that tortured, wheezing groan shuddered into being. The TARDIS faded, came back, and faded again. Before it went away completely, a blaze of golden glory pulsed from its windowpanes that washed all the shadows from the room for long seconds. ...Then sound and light and sight were gone as if it had never been there.

Sunny buried her face against me and sobbed while Tyllae regarded the empty space solemnly.

It would have been nice to be alone for just a little bit, if only to be able to order my thoughts enough to pay a tribute to that gay, sad, enigmatic little eccentric stallion.

But it wasn't to be. Kirk's voice rang out from the ships Public Address System!

“Captain Starry-Eyes, respond! There's a huge energy build-up on the Werewolf! Captain, respond!” Who knows how long he'd been paging me? From his tone he was on the verge of giving his own orders. Well, I would have done the same in his place!

I reached out and pounded the wall intercom button, breaking the faceplate and not giving a prospector's damn!

My own voice, ragged with emotion, boomed throughout the Hermes.

“Kirk! Energize transporters. Bomb that damn ship! Helm, get us out of here. Emergency Acceleration!”

Episode Sixty-Three The Morning After

Episode Sixty-Three The Morning After

EPISODE SIXTY-THREE

THE MORNING AFTER

Captains Personal Log, Stardate 1013.8. The Hermes is in Cruise Mode on course for the co-ordinates stipulated in Luna's Scroll at Time Warp Five point one seven six on a heading of two, zero, five mark three-five, Ships systems Fair. Repairs to our Engine and Computer Core are ongoing. I am submitting Official Commendations for Jerry and the entire Engineering Crew who have been working miracles with our limited resources. The ship really needs a Starbase to get back into prime working order!

Starfleet Tactical should be advised that its proposal to use the Cargo Transporters to deploy Photon Torpedoes is a viable one, if only as a desperation measure, that is. It was effective against a ship running without shields that was dead in space. Against an effective vessel in running combat I'd be hard put to see how it would work out!

Attached to this log is the reason I am committing this copy to the Starfleet Archives at the new Memory Alpha complex to remain sealed until cleared by the Federation Council. The file contains all the data we have been able to gather regarding the individual known as The Doctor. The Doctor intimated to me that he had dealings with certain organizations on Earth prior to the Eugenics Wars. I am recommending lines of inquiry being opened regarding 'U.N.I.T' and 'Torchwood'. Captain Archer's logs of the Enterprise should, in my opinion, also be referenced. I suggest a search using the keywords 'Temporal Cold War'.

The Doctor seemed keen on keeping his activities out of the public eye. As a tribute to efforts for this ship and crew... and to honor his Final Sacrifice...I intend to honor his wishes. All Departments will be debriefed in regards to this matter before this Ship come Home.

Final note. When we get access to the complete Federation database I intend to acquire any and all references to one Miss Ditzy-Do, female Pegasus, resident of Ponyville, Equestria, Earth circa thirty to two hundred Before the Change. Subject; identify any and all living descendants. Intent; ...to offer my congratulations and condolences to the family of an heroic Mare.

Attach file designated 'TardisBlue'. Archive and seal for Memory Alpha upload. Copy audio for Ship's Log. Captain Starry-Eyes, out.

I clicked off the recorder and cocked at ear toward the bathroom. Sunny had finished her shower while I was speaking and I wanted to be sure she hadn't fallen asleep on the toilet.

Eleven hours ago we had returned from the TARDIS, precisely three minutes and thirty-three seconds after we'd departed. I had my injuries attended to in Sickbay from which we'd gone to bed.

We didn't get much sleep. We talked long into the ships night in quiet voices, discussing our time with the Time-traveling pair and comparing notes and impressions. Tyllae drifted off early on, 'sooper-duper pooped' after her efforts on the Werewolf.

Neither of us would venture an opinion regarding the fate of the Timelord or poor Ditzy.

I almost had to pry Sunny out of bed. I waited until she began her shower before I checked the Communicator the TARDIS had given me.

'No signal/Out of range.' Was all it said. ...Damn.

I sighed and set about sending messages to the Department Heads. We all had plenty to do these days and I intended to combine breakfast with a briefing to get everypony up to speed with what we had found in our time on the Klingon Ship.

I also had an idea I wanted to trot out to Tyllae...

I turned to look. She was were I'd left her, taking a nap on my pillow after we'd made up the bed. She snoozed in the light of the sunglobe where Myrl sat in his planter near the head of my side of the bed.

“Hey, Squirt!” I called softly. “You up?”

One antenna and ear flicked in my direction before that tiny head popped up and nodded. She flitted slowly over to where I was, combining a slow stretch and a barrel-roll during the trip.

She came in for a four-point landing on the top of my head... then hopped back into the air!

“Hay! Looky-look!”

I had to look in the mirror to see what she wanted. She was hovering over my head, pointing with a forehoof.

“What? What's wrong? I got bed-head? I brushed it out already!” I protested, bending my neck and trying to see. Dipping my muzzle and peering out of the top of my eyes I could just see it!

Sunny had used a protoplaser to mend the three-inch split in my scalp the Prism had given me. Back in the day I'm given to understand that Ponies used to sew skin back together with sutures, more often than not leaving lurid scars. Protoplasers use light beamed through an enchanted focusing lens to heal lacerations, stimulating the natural healing process one hundred fold. With my Augmentation the process goes even faster, neat and clean and with no scars. The procedure was a complete success. Hell, I'd had my own shower that morning and didn't notice a thing while I'd shampooed!

Now, though, there was a strip of gleaming white in my mane as long as Tyllae's foreleg and exactly as wide as the original laceration growing out of the left side of the site!

I'm not a vain Pony by any means. Prior to meeting Sunny I'd just done my mane up in a tail and tossed it over my shoulder, neat and practical. But she'd coaxed me into doing more with it and I'd genuinely come to like the more built-up style I'd adopted and took a real... if secret... delight in the sheen of those jet-dark curls and the topology I managed to pull off as my own personal style.

The thought that Discord had managed to somehow... taint my mane was really upsetting!

“Sunuvabitch! I growled, trying to tilt my head to get a really good look and feeling the new growth with my fingertips.

“Issa not so bad!” Tyllae flitted around, taking my head in from multiple vantage points. “Tyllae can fix... maybe. Holda still, Starry!”

In the mirror I saw her go into an Arcane wind-up. I dodged aside and stood so fast the chair fell over with a clatter!

“What 'r ye two on aboot?” Sunny yawned, entering the room wearing just her towel slung over one shoulder.

Any other time I'd sit back and enjoy the show. Just then, though, I had a Faery stylist to secure!

I snatched her out of the air just as she brought her hoof down. Encountering nothing but air, she went into a forward tumble!

“Hay!”

“Sorry, Squirt! But this is my head and I don't want to end up with a polka-dot mane or something!”

“Aww! Starry should not be sucha scardey-chicken! Polky-dots looka nice!”

“Not in my mane they don't!” I cupped the Fey completely in my hooves and shook her like a hoof-full of dice as she giggled.

“What's all that then?” Sunny squinted at my head. “Are ye indulgin' in a wee bit o' dyein' yer mane or summat? Och, but ye could pay just a wee bit more attention t' th' directions. Remember, highlights go on th' end o' th' hairs!”

“It's not cosmetics! It showed up overnight!” I insisted. I bowed my the top of my head to her eye level. “Take a look and see what you make of it.”

Tyllae pried against my fingers and I let her free and distracted myself with looking at Sunny's lower half. I reached out to move the towel out of my way.

“Aye...” I could imagine Sunny's frown as I felt her gently parting my hair to look at my scalp. “'Tis th' site o' yer scalp laceration fer sure. Th' skin looks fine, whatever's goin' on is a-goin' on only wi' th' follicles. ...Looks morena half like radiation. But fer th' lack o' scarrin' I'd put me money on a Delta Radiation burn. ...'N behave yersel'!”

Her tail came up and spatted my hoof!

“Issa curse... kinna!” Tyllae declared.

I winced and retrieved my chair. Setting it to rights, I sat down and Sunny settled down onto my knee and laid her towel primly across her lap.

“Great.” I said with as much enthusiasm as a Tellarite invited to a Vulcan dinner party. “More Luna-be-damned magic! I'm getting sick of being the subject of whacked-out spellcasters!”

Sunny gave my pectoral anatomy a companionable pat.

“Aye n' that's just because yer sich a braw, great target, are ye no? We'll be a-keepin' our eyes on it. Just coom by at end o' th' shift n' we'll have another look-see. If 'tis radiation we'll start ye on some hyronaline or summat n' get ye cleaned out in no time!”

“Watch.” I corrected her, my mind on other things. “It's a watch onboard a ship, not a shift in a mine.”

She fetched me a tweak to a certain sensitive bit and gave me a warning look!

“I'll be a-makin' yon a hyronaline enema if ye're no careful, Miss Walkin' Bloody Dictionary!”

“Issa not ray-dee-a-shun, issa curse!” The Fey insisted, lighting atop my head and stomping a hoof on the white bit! “Tyllae does not know why Tyllae bothers to say anything! Big Ponies jus don' respeck little Tyllae, nope, nope, nope!”

I reached up and snatched her again.

“If you're trying to make it ring like a bell you're banging up the wrong coconut, kid!” I poked her in the tummy and collapsed her into giggles before continuing. “Which reminds me! I've got something I want to ask you.”

The little tyke sprang up to hover in my palm. “Whassat, Starry? Tyllae wanna help, yep, yep, yep!”

I felt a pang of guilt at her eagerness. It was true, as Tyllae pointed out herself earlier, ...she was just so cute and lovable in this form that all of us wrote her off as an adorable little tyke instead of a functioning adult with as big a stake in the events of the day as any of us. Well, that was going to change!

“When you, ah, shift into your other form... how long can you hold it? Does it cost you to stay that way?”

“Huh?” She cocked her elfin head and peered up at me.

“Can you hold your Big Faery form or does it tire you out?”

“Tyllae can do as easy as Starry changes clothes. Lots, lots, lots faster too! Whyfor Starry ask?”

“Aye!” Sunny shifted a little to get into my lap as opposed to staying on my knees. “What're ye drivin' at?”

“I think the whole Crew needs to know there's more to Tyllae than goodie-scarfing and good intentions.” I pointed out. “They need to see her as she really is as compared to what they're comfortable with thinking her to be.”

“Och! Ah ken noo!” Sunny gave me a dig in the ribs. “They desairve t' be a-seein' th' Faery Queen in all her glory is it? Aye, well, 'tis only right. Why should we be a-keepin' her t' oursels? Ye're a canny one, t' be sure!”

Tyllae plopped down to sit in my palm, looking unsure.

“... But thissa how Tyllae really is! Big Tyllae, Little Tyllae, alla same inna coco!” She bopped the side of her head to illustrate. “Don't need alla that magic around Tyllae's friends, nope, nope, nope!” She shook her head resolutely, her antennae jangling.

“Oh ye kin bear t' put on yer Sun-Day n' Moon-Day Best fer a wee while each day!” Sunny coaxed. “Th' Lassie's a bonny good idea there. Ah must be a-rubbin' off on her!”

I gave her a poke in the tummy!

“Don't flatter yourself! What do you think, kiddo? I think it would raise everypony's spirits... and give you more respect on the part of the rank-and-file of the Crew!”

She waved a teeny hoof in my direction.

“No, no, no! Tyllae was not really complaining, nope, nope, nope! Tyllae loves Tyllae's friends an don't care if alla think Tyllae jussa silly little bug. Tyllae still help alla same, yep, yep, yep!”

“Well, it's up to you Squirt.” I conceded. “It was just an idea on my part. I'm not going to twist your arm. You've been a big help already and I don't doubt you're going to Do Your Part before this is all over. ...But I think everypony would get a big kick out of it in the meantime!” I tipped the Fey a wink and tickled her with a finger-tip.

“Sure and t'would only be a-givin 'em more reasons t' be a-lovin' ye, ye wee Spriggan!” Sunny snuck a finger in to tickle from the other side.

The little Fey collapsed onto her back, giggling and flailing her hooves in the air until we stopped! When she regained what passes for Faery composure... and her breath... she stood up and shook herself!

“No fair ganging up on Tyllae, nope, nope, nope!” She settled her wings and plopped down on her rump, looking up at me with solemn eyes.

“Starry sure bouta thissa idea? Tyllae does not know...” She shook her head, her forelegs fidgeting. “Oooh! Tyllae wanna say issa all against Faery Rules... but Tyllae throw away alla Faery Rules since Tyllae got here already! Tyllae lets Tyllae be seen by everypony cause Starry wants Tyllae to be safe inna new Her-mees place... but thissa different, yep, yep, yep!”

She paddled her hooves in frustration and looked to me for support.

“Tyllae does not want Tyllaes' new friends to be all scaredy-scared of Tyllae! Looky whahoppen back on Gornie-ship! Even Starry an Sunny were scared at Tyllae!”

“Sure n' yer just a mickle bit wrong on that one, ye wee Scamp!” Sunny waved a finger in the direction of her tummy and the little Fey danced back!

“Ye surprised us 'n that's a fact! Ye did a bonny job o' hidin' yer light under a bushel basket n' when ye brought it out ye caught us all flathoofed! But we were no a-fearing ye, we were in awe!”

“And...” I put in, reaching out to bop the end of her nose with a fingertip. “We're better off knowing a side of you we never expected till then! We got to know the whole you and not just the half you keep out in the open all the time. I'm just saying... shouldn't the rest of your friends have the same chance?”

“What we're a-sayin' is...” Sunny got the Fey's attention again. “That we're proud t' know ye... th' whole bloody package... n' we think yer friends should be able t' share that. Now is that sich a chore fer such a bonny Fey?”

Tyllae pawed my palm with one tiny hoof, then looked at me coyly.

“...Tyllae does not know...”

The Mare In My Head accessed my Memory Banks and called my attention to that hoary old Faery Rule...

“...You're going to make me ask three times, aren't you?”

“Coursa am! Thissa important, Starry!”

I raised her up to eye level.

“Well, will you do it?”

The Fey considered, tilting her head to one side.

“... Gotta do alla time? Hard to play Faery games all biggety-big-big likea that.”

“Sure n' ye'll just have t' come up wi' new games then.” Sunny egged her on. “Th' possibilities'll be endless!”

“Just don't do anything,” I cautioned. “Around Engineering or the Computer systems. From what I've seen you have a lot more Magic at your disposal and Jerry's Ponies have enough on their plate as it is!”

I took a page out of Caper's Big Book Of Command and added.

“I'm nothing if not a reasonable Pony. You don't have to do it twenty-four, seven! Just between one meal and the next. Call it one watch. ...But stagger it out over a few days so that everypony on every watch gets a chance to see you. Give it three days. If it works out, then use your discretion. Sound like a plan to you, Squirt?”

The little Fey rubbed her jaw with one hoof, looking almost absurdly thoughtful!

“Hokay!” She nodded three times. “Tyllae will do! But...?”

“But what?”

“Gotta do all night, too? Tyllae likes sleepy-sleeping witha Starry an Sunny but Tyllae thinks Starry would be a lumpy, lumpy, lumpy mattress!”

“Oh, aye!” Sunny chortled. “Me Auntie had a couch like that! Great pillows, but th' frame always dug through th' paddin'! Yon lassie's got titanium bones!” Sunny wriggled her bottom in my lap as the two of them shared a giggle at my expense!

I gave her tail a tug that made her jump!

“You want lumps? I'll give your lumps, Toots!'

“Feh!” Sunny gave me a snuggle. “ Hoosh on yer savage ways. Yer foolin' nopony, ye great Softie!”

I cleared my throat and continued. “ Consider yourself off-duty at night, kiddo! Fair enough?”

“Oakey-dokey-lokey, Sunny!” The little Fey trilled. “Want do now?” She flitted backwards towards to one side of the bed to give herself room, no doubt, and went into another Arcane wind-up.

I held up a hoof. “No, it can wait until breakfast. ...Don't look at me like that! We introduced Tyllae to the Crew at breakfast and, well, it just seems fitting that we re-introduce her at breakfast. It appeals to my sense of symmetry, all right?”

“Have it yer way, thin!” Sunny shrugged.

“Issa hokay with Tyllae, yep, yep, yep!” Tyllae noddled, then frowned. “Wassa 'sim-a-tree'?”

“It means that it worked out great the first time we did it so why not do it that way again? Get a move on, Sunny, get dressed and lets get this tunnel dug! I'm hungry!” I picked her up by her bottom and deposited her on the deck.

“Come on Sunny!” The little Fey caroled, circling her like a manic meteor! “Brekkist-time! Hubbity-hubba-hubba! One-two, one-two! Huppity-hup-hup! Thassa right, Starry?”

“Give her Hell, kid!” I said as I discretely moved my chair farther away.

“Bugger th' both o' ye!” Sunny groused, flapping her towel at Starfleet's tiniest Drill Sargent and glaring daggers at myself! “Struth! How's a body get out o' this chicken bloody outfit? Hurry n' roosh first thing in th' bloody morn then sit on yer bloody thumbs all bloody day! Tis enough t' make a body take up drinkin'!”

* * *

We don't stand on ceremony on the Hermes. We were the last to arrive at breakfast but that was no reason for anypony else to have to wait... especially since I gave them all such short notice!

Merry, Xantippe, Bors and Sekkack sat along one side of the table opposite Jerry, Evee, Dazzle, Guiding Star. Rocky sat in Caper's old spot at the foot, the head of the table being reserved for myself and Sunny. All in all a pretty cozy fit... I began to wonder just how we were going to squeeze Tyllae in there! Oh, well...

Breakfast had an Appleoosan theme that morning. Bob's cart was loaded down with cornbread drenched with white Country Gravy laced with just enough cracked pepper to make it interesting. Bowls of grits, steaming hot and just begging for butter, lay alongside platters of biscuits fresh from the oven! Plates of carrot sticks and the inevitable platter of apples stood ready to take up any slack that anypony had left. Honey, syrup, jam and sugar were laid out in containers around the model Hermes in the center of the table. My stomach rumbled as I pulled Sunny's seat out for her!

“G'day, you lot!” Bob, wearing a his customary spotless t-shirt with a pristine apron covering his trousers drawled, smiling with his eyes as he began laying our dishes out for us. Tyllae got extra helpings, of course!

Sunny blanched at the sight of the cornbread and gravy he set out for the Fey and I. I knew Sunny had been feeling ill these last few mornings. Sunny being Sunny, whenever I tried to broach the subject with her she told me... with plenty of colorful expressions from her lexicon... to stick to running a starship! I held my peace as I watched her search for a tactful reason why she would pass up Bob's wonderful cuisine.

A good Crew looks out for itself, however! With only a sly wink on his part Bob reached back to his cart and laid a cup of tea and three slices of dry toast in front of her.

“Got fresh coffee cake comin' up in just a couple, so save some room!” He advised the table before moving to collect dishes.

I seated myself and gave the assorted faces a smile.

“Now that Bob's given us the good news it's my turn to dish out the bad! But, first...”

I dug out a heavy fork-full of cornbread and popped it into my mouth!

“'Ere it comes!” Merry dug Xantippe with an elbow as I chewed. “Starfleet's on a 'conomy kick and all ranks under Captain 're takin' a seventy-foive percent pay cut. Oh, me achin' bar-tab! Eh? Eh?”

“...If you make me spill gravy on my dress I'll make you clean up the mess... under duress!” The Zebra warned her, hurriedly replacing her fork and taking up her bowl of tea. “And, trust me, you do not want to know what happens if you spill my tea!”

Rocky gestured with his coffee cup. “See? This is why I don't do breakfast!” He paused, looking thoughtful. “Coffee cake is an exception. Put me down for a hunk, Bob!”

Evee put her empty plate aside and helped herself to syrup, pouring a good quarter-inch of the stuff over her grits.

“Gee, if that's the case, I'd better eat up... unless they're going to start charging us for our food!”

“Ssh!” Merry hissed across the table. “Don't be givin' 'em any oideas! 'Ave another biscuit, Boss Lady, whoile we talk treason!”

I split my biscuit open and slathered on some butter. I grabbed a couple more for the bottomless Fey and heaped jam on them. ...She'd nearly finished her cornbread already!

Star paused halfway through his bowl of grits and poured himself a glass of apple juice.

“Don't mind paying for good food, no sirree.” He said placidly.

“Mother Tellar pays me well for my hardworking services!” Bors declared, helping himself to another bowl of grits. “You Ponies should renounce your citizenship and apply for membership with a truly advanced culture!” He nudged aside a growing pile of dirty dishes and belched.

Sekkack drew an elbow in, making room, and paused with a meat stick halfway to his mouth.

“Unfortunately Vulcan immigration quotas are quite full.” He murmured quietly. “Though I'm given to understand that the Andorians are always looking for skilled personnel. At least they are civilized... by comparison.”

“Bah!” The Tellarite said through a full mouth. “Pass me some biscuits before that four-legged Singularity absorbs them all!”

Jerry slid a cloth-covered platter his way. I noticed with a pang the element of weariness in his eyes. I wondered how long it had been since he'd had a full nights sleep?

“I'll stay where I'm at where I get to work on real cutting-edge systems.” He said. “At least I'll never be bored!”

“You Ponies put too much faith in your over-rated Magic!” Bors grabbed himself a trio of biscuits and proceeded to drown them in syrup! “True advancement comes through working with honest tried-and-true hardware!”

Xantippe poured herself another bowl of tea and brought it to her lips to cool it.

“I shall stay with the Federation, if you please. I have never been comfortable being infested with fleas!” She said with a smile in her demurely downcast eyes.

“Hah!” Bors sprayed crumbs! “Somepony else finally learns civilized discourse!”

The Vulcan reached pointedly through the Tellarites' personal space and primly offered the grateful Zebra a napkin.

“Beware, you Pony Folk, beware!” She muttered. “There are too many calories in the air!”

“ As if Life Support didn't have enough to contend with! More work for Engineering!” Jerry sighed.

“Yer a basket case, Fuzz-face!” Merry shook her head at the Tellarite, then pulled an overdone expression of comic surprise. “Oi! Must be all the stress, Oy'm turnin' into a ruddy Zebress! Pretty good, eh? Eh?” She dug Xantippe in the ribs again. She chucked the napkin at her in reply!

Star took a long sip and put his glass down before taking up his bowl again.

“Eyup. I do declare there must be something in the air.”

“Goodness gracious!” Evee chimed in. “It's contagious!”

Sekkack looked around the room from face to face and returned to his meat stick wondering in his Vulcan way, no doubt, why he even bothered to get up this morning! Bob, shaking his head, left the room for a bit.

Tyllae sputtered, nearly choking on a sticky mouthful of biscuits and jam. I swallowed quickly before I suffered the same fate and turned to see Sunny frowning at me.

“Och! Go ahead! Go ahead!” She flapped an irritable hoof at me... before adding quietly. “Ye were never th' kind could resist a bad rhyme!”

“I disagree, of course.” Xantippe came to my defense. “This is what I call civilized discourse!” She made a face at Bors.

“So poo on you!”

The Tellarite would have responded but he was busy pounding on his chest to get his food down!

I saved him the effort by banging my spoon on the table for attention!

“'Ang on, you lot! Incomin' punch loine!” Merry braced herself!

“All right! All right!” Only an Augment could have kept such a straight face as I looked sternly out at the faces around me. “Time to rein in all this 'sport'” I began, looking everypony levelly before breaking out a wide grin. “...Or do I have to put you all on report?”

Bors sprayed a laugh, Xantippe saluted me gravely with her tea, and the rest of the table rolled eyes, chuckled, or groaned!

“N' there goes me appetite!” Sunny dropped her last bit of toast back on her plate while Tyllae rolled over on her back and giggled, waving all four legs in the air! “Pull yersel' together, ye wee exhibitionist! 'Struth...!” She glared at all the more-or-less composed faces. “ What's it say aboot th' bloody Roamulans if we beat 'em wi' ships full o' this sort?”

“We 'ad 'em by the ol' technological fuzzy-wuzzies!” Merry hooked a thumb at Jerry who nodded as he added sugar to his coffee. “We're loight years ahead of 'em 'cept in the 'air-dressin' department! Whatcher do to yer mane, Boss-Lady? Some sorta 'Questrin fashion statement? Or is this Zebra stuff really contagious? Eh? Eh?”

“A bed in Sick Bay you'll have dibs if you don't stop hitting me in the ribs!” Xantippe scooted her chair as close to Bors as she could and warded the Communications Officer off with a spoon!

“Thanks but no thanks, Tippy!” Merry chortled. “Oy don't go in fer spoonin' with Mares. Oy leaves that fer them Command Toypes! Roight, Boss-Lady?” She tipped me a, well, merry wink and took a swig of juice from her glass.

“Maybe with the Crew I could share a ration of what went on at Altair Station...?” Xantippe said sweetly.

Merry almost drowned in her juice! She wiped her mouth on her sleeve and whirled to face the smiling Zebra!

“'Ere! Oy was...!” She peered closely at Xantippe for a moment, then guffawed! “Oi, yer a scrapper, aintcha? Must be sumpin' to that there Fallen Seize 'Er foightin' stoyle! You and me oughta go on a Pub Crawl next Shore Leave! Ol' Jerry needs some proctectin' and Oy could use somepony to watch me back! Wotta ya say, Mate, no 'ard feelin's?”

She stuck a hoof out to the Zebra who took it at once.

“I would hate to see you choke on juice so I am happy to declare a truce.” She declared formally, closing her eyes for a moment and bowing her head in that Zebrican way. “... And the 'C' in Caesar is hard not soft. It is an error in translation that happens oft.”

“You're really reaching with that one!” Jerry protested from across the way. “... And for the record, I don't need protecting!”

“Sure ya don't Mate, sure ya don't!” Merry patted the Engineer's hoof reassuringly without looking at him and leaned toward the Zebra conspiratorially.

“Ya know 'ow it is with these Boffin toypes, Tippy! Get 'em outa their Departments and they're reglar' Foals in the Woods. Woyde-eyed and innocent! Put a drink in their 'oofs and before ya know it they've said the wrong thing to some local and there's three kindsa o' “Ell to pay!” She hooked a thumb at the Engineer. “They needs watchin, look fer yerself!”

Xantippe tilted her head and peered sagely at Jerry before leaning toward Merry.

“You know, there is some truth to this! I heard about what happened on Equestris!”

“Hay! I didn't do anything!” Jerry said plaintively!

“... Though I seem to recall that it was another Officer that instigated the brawl!” The Zebra waggled her eyebrows meaningfully at the Comm Officer.

“Ere! Quit turnin' the tables on me, this ain't one of them Smarty-Pants fancy chess games! Oy wuz the very soul of Diplomacy Oy wuz... by Pub Standards, you understand! You Zebra toypes are slipperier than a greased wallaby! Oops...!” She shot a theatrical glance over the Zebras' shoulder. “'Ere comes ol' Bob! Act casual, Oy won't say a word about you makin' a pass at me if you don't!”

“You are one to talk of a slippery switch, you silly, blowhard Horsetralian...”

“'Ey, Mate!” Merry called out in her Pub Voice, cutting off the acerbic end of that particular rhyme. “Whatcher got there? Coffee cake? Park a slab roight 'ere!”

Bob came in rolling a cart with with a fresh pan on it hot out of the oven. The smell alone was enough to focus everypony's attention!

“What's that I hear 'bout Horsetralia?” He drawled, producing a knife and making swift, practiced cuts in the hot confection.

“A load of treason... without a reason!” Xantippe shot the Comm Officer a spiteful look.

He produced a spatula and began loading up plates that he began laying out at our places. ...Xantippe got the biggest piece. Mine was the second smallest... after Merry's!

“ S' ruddy favoritism, that wot is is!” Merry regarded her serving indignantly.

“Luck of the draw, Mate! Luck of the bloody draw!” Bob pointed out before the corner of his lip lifted ever so slightly.

“Still more then what ya got on Altair, innit?”

“Oi! Don't you start in! Really gotta learn t' zip me bloody lips someday! ...'Ere, Doc! Think you gotta patient there!” Merry pointed my way with her fork.

I had put down my utensils and was just hugging myself, trying to keep the laughter penned inside. I looked around at my friends and wiped my eyes.

“Just give me a minute, OK?”

“Nowt wrong wi' th Lass!” Sunny sliced the end of my coffee cake off with her fork and raised it to her lips. “Just got a touch o' th' silly vapors is all!”

She popped the treat into her mouth and chewed... a look of relief broke across her features and she waved to Bob.

“Ye ken, Ah think Ah can manage a bit o' this, grand stuff that it is! Would ye be so kind, Bob-me-Lad?”

“Starry jus feeling happy, yep, yep, yep!” Tyllae declared as she ferried her empty dishes back to the serving cart. “Cake makes everypony happy anna thassa fack!”

She zipped back to her place at the table and danced around in all the empty space, waving a foreleg at Bob.

“Lossa room over here for cake, Bobby-Bob! Pleeeze?”

“Gotcher covered, kid!” He murmured, laying a Xantippe-sized piece before the almost indecently pleased Fey, before serving the rest of the table.

Dazzle leaned in to peer at me.

“You sure she's all right?”

Sekkack politely refused the offer of coffee cake. Bogan added it to his serving!

“Speaking from a strictly non-medical point of view...” He said thoughtfully. “She does seem to be in some respiratory distress. Captain, are you well?”

“I'm fine! I'm fine!” I wiped my eyes again. “It's just...” I caught my breath. “It's just great to be back Home again!”

Epsisode sixty-four Old Cusotms

EPISODE SIXTY-FOUR

OLD CUSTOMS...

Rocky finished a mouthful of cake and washed it down with a sip of coffee.

“Yeah well we're glad you're back in one piece but, sheesh, it's not as if you've been gone on a month of Shore Leave or anything!”

I freshened my own tea and slid my cake over to the delighted Tyllae.

“As far as I can tell we've were gone for better than half a day. Better get comfortable and listen to this!”

I gave them the tale, personal breakdowns and wardrobe malfunctions not included, and finished up with my encounter with The Prism and our rescue from the Werewolf with the fate of The Doctor as a post-script. Sunny provided color commentary and Tyllae chimed in with 'Yep, yep, yeps!' in between bites of cake!

By the time I wound down everypony I was the subject of narrow looks, frowns, frank astonishment, and an arched Vulcan eyebrow!

Bob was leaning against a wall, munching on a piece of cake he held in a napkin.

“What 'bout Der-... Ditzy?” He corrected himself grimly. “The little Sheila get out OK? Helluva thing to have happen to a noice kid like that!”

I shook my head. “She rode the TARDIS down to whatever happened to it. She got us back before it went up.” I cleared my throat quietly.

“I dropped the spatball on that one! I should have called Kyrk in for this to find out what happened when the Werewolf went up. With everything else that just happened I didn't...” I shrugged. “I had a purely Equine moment in response to the stress. Merry, could you page Lieutenant Kyrk?” I gestured to the terminal at her end of the table.

She wiped her mouth quickly and waved a hoof at thing.

“No sense toying up the circuits, eh? Prolly havin' a bit o' tucker even as we speak! Won't be a tick!”

She got up and made her way to the door leading to the Galley. When it opened she leaned through it.

“Oi!” Her voice cut through then stilled the chatter outside. “Lieutenant Kyrk in 'ere? ...Oi, Lieutenant! Boss-Lady wants ya insoide-loik! G'day, you lot!”

She came back and plopped down in her seat, hooking a thumb over her shoulder.

“On 'is way, Boss! That oughta be worth a real sloice o' cake fer me trouble, whaddya say, Mate?” She held her plate out to Bob.

“Yeah, yeah!” He muttered, scooping another portion up for her.

“Roight decent of ya, Mate! 'Preciate it!” Merry tucked into it at once!

“Oy'll get another chair.” Bob said quietly. “Anypony need anything?”

Nopony took him up on it and he left the room just as the doors opened and Kyrk entered to stand at parade-rest just inside.

“Lieutenant Kyrk reporting, Captain.” A stray lock of his mane fell forward onto his forehead as he scanned the room as casually as he could manage. Well, getting called into the Captain's presence before breakfast qualifies as a traumatic experience... it happened to me more than once!

“At ease, Gorge, and thanks for coming on such short notice. There's a chair coming for you in a moment.” I smiled my best reassuring smile.

“We're just 'andin' out court-martials in 'ere an' thot we'd share the ruddy wealth, didn't we? Eh, eh?” Merry winked and nudged Xantippe again!

The Zebra closed her eyes and sighed.

“I know when I am beat! Miss Dazzle may I switch to your seat?”

Dazzle leaned in and stage-whispered...

“Altair Station!”

“Oi! Sittin' purty, hoofs to meself! This is me behavin', behavin, behavin'!”

“Didn't hear a thing.” Kyrk declared, having the grace to look innocent.

“As I was saying...” I gave Merry my best Caper glower as Bob came back with a folding chair. He set it up and set it down next to me. Tyllae dragged her food in front of me and nearly upset my tea cup as she hopped up and down, waving at the Lieutenant!

“Here go, Mister Kyrky-Kyrk! Plenny room right here, yep, yep, yep!”

Bob plied his cart silently, setting out another breakfast.

“Ahem!” I pointedly slid my cup a few inches out of harms way staying as still as possible while my crew swept into action. “I should have invited you to breakfast with us. In the rush of yesterdays excitement I never bothered to get your report. In my defense, I was sure you would have alerted me if anything, um, untoward had happened. Sit down, Gorge!” I waved him down as Bob withdrew.

Bless his old-fashioned heart, the stallion held my chair for me before settling into his own. He nodded, exchanging non-verbal pleasantries with the rest of the company before turning to me.

“Yes, Ma'am! If anything had gone sour I would have been on the horn at once!” He nodded emphatically. “As it was, after I got your confirmation, I energized the transporters and deposited four photon torpedoes... two in Engineering and two Forward... and headed off on our original course as maximum acceleration. There was no pursuit or scanning detected. We secured the Ship and kept running. Before that...” He paused for a moment, gathering his recollections.

“After you left the Bridge with The Doctor we maintained passive scanning. Call it six minutes after you left we detected a massive energy spike on the Werewolf. Arcane sensors went off the scale! Right on the heels of that we picked up a massive subspace disturbance almost like some sort of... singularity that fractured the spaceframe of the Klingon ship and gutted their Engineering Section. Good news as far as we were concerned, but with the way the damn thing could repair itself I wasn't in the mood to take chances. Especially with you beaming over there!”

I chuckled. “We didn't use transporters, The Doctor took us over there... eventually!”

Kyrk gave me a questioning look.

“Long story, Laddie!” Sunny put in. “Drop by Sickbay n' Ah'll fill ye in on th' details!”

I shot her a warning glance. “Just the, ah, pertinent ones!”

“Oh, aye!” She flapped a hoof at me and took a sip of her tea. “Ah wouldna dream o' sayin' aught t' impugn yer reputation as a bloody tactical genius!”

Kyrk saved me from saying anything that would have put me in the proverbial doghouse.

“At that time I thought you were still on the Hermes. I didn't want you... going over there while the place was falling apart! I paged you repeatedly. I was glad when you responded... I was this close to taking matters into my own hooves!”

“Don't worry about it, Gorge. I would have done the same in your place. All part of the job when you have the Center Seat! ...How many times did you page me, anyway?”

“Three times. I wanted to give you every chance to respond. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, call it independent verification of The Rule Of Three. Three strikes, three chances, I was just struck by an insight into how old the custom is!” I backed up from the table far enough to cast a look at the little Fey who had helped herself to more jam-slathered biscuits.

“Am I right or am I right, kiddo?”

Tyllae swallowed a mighty elfin mouthful and noddled exactly three times for emphasis!

“Yep, yep, yep! Little Trees all grow in likeness to the seed, Starry!”

I shook my head, smiling down at the Fey.

“Why am I not surprised?”

“Shouldn't be, nope, nope, nope! Faeries wanted alla Trees to grow right, Starry!”

“Touche, kid!” I agreed, pausing to roll my apple over to her before scooting my chair back to resume my conversation.

“Pardon me, Gorge, but its been a... surreal last twenty-four hours. I'm still processing it all!”

Gorge was too good a Junior Officer to presume to prompt a Senior ones conversation.

“Not at all.” He said smoothly before adding with a grin. “You have even more on your plate than I do at this moment!”

I couldn't help but to laugh. I really had come to like this buck!

“Welcome to Command School! Let me ask you just one more thing before your food gets cold. ...The Doctor was setting up some scheme to siphon those poor damned souls off the Werewolf using our Sensory. What became of that?”

Kyrk frowned. “Again, when you left the Bridge our shields had been collecting some sort of Arcane charge, like Saint Elmo's Fire! Sensor logs have it recorded, a flickering golden aura around the Ship. I think the Doctor was setting us up as a sort of plasma containment bottle for whatever he was extracting.” He rolled his eyes and shrugged.

“That's the way Milky Way explained it to me, anyway. I'm not any sort of Engineer! After you answered my hail we picked up an energy spike on this ship, in Cargo Bay Two. We never detected that TARDIS when it arrived. Maybe he had it Stealthed or something but when it came back it was blazing all over the subspace spectrum... and a whole lot of others! Again, according to Milky Way. I was worried it was some sort of feedback from what was happening over there! It was there for precisely seven seconds then it just went off our scopes... which was especially weird since it was growing in strength all the time it was here! That much energy couldn't have just gone away... but it did, along with whatever we'd been collecting around the Hermes! Then you came over the intercom, I sent those bombs on their way, and we got the Hell out of Dodge Junction!”

He shrugged with his hooves palm-up.

“I just figured he took off and took it all with him. It's been smooth sailing since... aside from picking up the pieces after the roughing we took from the Werewolf, that is. That's my report, Ma'am.”

I digested that for long moments. Tyllae maintained that the Diamond Dogs were only constructs made by the Prism according to Discord's mad image. ...But the strength of the Prism came from the millions...billions, maybe... of souls sacrificed to the damn thing against their will. The Doctor indicated that nearly six million souls... people... were powering that ship. Where were they now? Were they back in the Prism... or was the price of our survival the equivalent of a metropolis?

I shut my eyes and The Mare In My Head hit the overrides on my Emotional Matrix. She didn't delete the thought, she only archived it. Six million people didn't deserve to be forgotten and it made me feel ill to think that Discord could afford to... waste so many lives as if they were cardboard tokens on a game board!

Breakfast was a cold lump in my suddenly too-full stomach as I opened my eyes again.

“The Doctor didn't make it.” I said quietly. “Discord speared him with the Prism right through the hull of the TARDIS. It was fatally damaged. Ditzy brought us home before it went up.”

Gorge put down his fork.

“Oh. … Damn!” He finished softly.

“Yeah.” I agreed flatly before asking. “... Sensors didn't pick up its destruction?”

“Only the Werewolf as far as we could see.” Kyrk contemplated his food, choose a single biscuit , and ignored the rest. Bob looked annoyed and Tyllae looked interested. “No other energy discharges... or lifepod beacons for that matter. We would have picked up a transporter trace and detected an environmental suit if Ditzy bailed out.”

He slid the food away. Tyllae looked at it hopefully. Well... she burned up a lot of calories the day before.

Given the state of our Sensory one environmental suit wouldn't have stood out very much against the background of four photon torpedoes and the breakup of the Werewolf. If she'd gotten out somehow and was alone in just a suit in proximity to all the radiation...

“She didna leave.” Sunny said. It was obvious she was replaying that last terrible moments in her mind. “She stayed wi' th' Doctor.” She fidgeted with her teacup, staring down at it for a few moments. Then she lifted it up to the table in a toast.

“T' Ditzy Doo n' Th' Doctor, an' they be dead!”

We raised our various drinks and saluted their memory. Sunny drained hers then quite deliberately gave her cup an underhoof lob into the wall behind her, shattering it. Bob looked pained and Dazzle jumped at the sound.

“What the Hell, Doc!”

But Sunny only dabbed her lips... then her eyes... with a napkin and said not a word while the rest of us stared.

The Vulcan cleared his throat quietly. Then, instead of a statement regarding the illogical behavior of Ponies, he said.

“It is an archaic custom on Earth in several cultures.” He stated. “A tribute to the solemnity of the toast. The gravity of the occasion has, in essence, consecrated the drinking vessel to the honor of the subject. Therefore it would be considered dishonorable to ever use the vessel again for any other purpose since that would detract from the honor bestowed upon it. ...As I am given to understand, that is.” He considered his empty juice glass.

“Vulcan has had no such tradition since before the teachings of Surak. We honor the memories of the deceased in our minds.” He wrapped his glass carefully up in his napkin and held it before addressing the table again.

“However, to coin a Terrestrial phrase and to honor the efforts of our fallen companions... 'When in Roam...'”

He closed his paw, crushing the glass with a series of brittle snaps and cracks before laying the bundle neatly next to his empty plate.

“Your information is out of line.” Xantippe clasped her hooves and bowed from the neck with averted eyes to the Vulcan, correcting him in her unobtrusive Zebrican way, before she wrapped her own drinking bowl up. “In Roam we use such as this to make a shrine. To keep fresh in our minds their memory from day to day, we light incense and bow our heads to pray.”

She set the swaddled bowl before her, bowed her head and clasped her amulet bag with both hooves and paid silent respect while the rest of us made up our minds.

In deference to Sunny I sent my cup to ceramic Valhalla. Tyllae carefully put her glass on the edge of the table, turned around, and dealt it a buck against the back wall!

“Wheeee!”

Dazzle shrugged and tossed hers over her left shoulder. “Works for me!” She looked expectantly at Star.

“Eynope!” He shook his head. “Wasn't raised to make a mess.”

“Barbarians!” Bors snorted. “Smashing crockery in uncivilized. On Mother Tellar we fight to assuage our grief!”

Merry dropped her mug to the floor and stomped it to bits with her boot! She cracked her knuckles at the truculent Tellarite.

“Well, Mate, if yer offerin'...”

“I wouldn't dream of depriving the Crew of its Communications Officer when all hands are so desperately needed.” Bors said smoothly, pointedly putting his glass back on the table and refilling it. He took a sip and smacked his fuzzy lips!

“Count yourself lucky!”

“Izzat so, Fuzzy-Wuzzy?” As I believe I stated earlier, Merry never did warm up to Bogan. She balled one fist and smacked it into the opposite palm. “Wot say you n' me pop on down to the ruddy gym fer a little bit of playful murder? Eh, eh?” She brandished her fist over Xantippe's head as the Zebra ducked.

“Merry!” I fixed her with a baleful eye. “ If I thought you were serious I'd put you on report. Both of you behave yourselves.. and the point to Bogan!” I nodded to the Tellarite who only chuckled, shaking his shaggy head.

“Point to you, Captain! Truly you could give lessons on Tellar!”

Merry looked at the two of us suspiciously, rubbing her jaw.

“... Oy think Oy'm missin' sumpin' 'ere.”

“Maybe...” I began delicately. “You and Bors could sit down and have a civilized... in the Federation sense of the word... discussion about The Tellarite Way. You might clue him in how things work Down Under.” I treated both of them to a Significant Look. “...I'd rather not make that an order.”

Merry blinked. “Wot? Me and this 'ere choom?” She gave the Tellarite a distasteful look. “Well... since you asked all polite-loik...”

Bors pounced at once!

“Hah! She's afraid of being shown up as a backwards brawling barbarian! I on the other paw, being a sophisticated citizen of the Federation, will heroically rise to the occasion as any good child of Mother Tellar would to educate a member of a less advanced race.” He gave Merry a scornful look under his shaggy eyebrows. “Like those from Down Under A Rock!”

“Merry!” I said sharply as the Comm Officer's face clouded up in a scowl. “ That was a challenge ...are you going to let him play you into giving him a victory or is there another way to make this work? You get this one clue for free. Bors...” I pointed to him. “ You're on your own. Just remember my buttons took more effort to push!”

Rocky toyed with his coffee, giving the pair of them a skeptical look.

“You sure about this, Starry?”

“Oh, I think I can trust them both to imagine the consequences if Security has to be called or if anypony ends up in Sickbay! ...Can't I, Filly and Gentlebeing?”

“Read ya foive-by-foive, Boss-Lady!” Merry gulped and nodded.

“Of course, Captain.” Bors made an expansive gesture to Merry, almost bopping Xantippe on the nose in the process! “We will be the soul of diplomacy and discretion!”

“I never had a doubt. I have the uttermost faith in my Officers and Guests.” I coughed into my fist. “... To make things go smoother I can see my way clear to double the alcohol ration on this one occasion. At the end of the Watch.” I amended.

Merry brightened and Rocky rolled his eyes.

“Oh, Sister Celestia on a slalom...!”

“Can it, Rocky!” I leaned on the table with my fists. “I had it in mind to have a meeting with the Department Heads during breakfast... but things seem to have worked out differently. The best-laid plans of mice and ponies oft go astray...”

“Oft gang awry.” Sunny corrected me quietly, taking a ladylike sip of tea.

“Ahem! Unless there are matters that can't wait until the end of the Watch...?” I scanned the faces around me. Only Xantippe stirred, glancing at Bob. I wondered what was up with that for just an instant before shoveling on.

“... Then lets meet at fourteen hundred twenty hours in the Briefing Room. Before you finish up your meals I have one last item I wanted to bring up.”

I paused, gathering my thoughts.

“You know who and what we're up against. Recent events have given us an edge in our dealings with Discord and the Prism. Gorge, I'll fill you in on the fine details later!” I smiled apologetically at the Lieutenant who looked, frankly, interested.

I returned my gaze to the rest of the table. “Like I said, you all know what we're up against. I just wanted to show you, well, what we've got going for us! You were all here when she came aboard but only a few of us have seen what Tyllae is all about. I think it's time that situation was rectified.” I cleared my throat and stood off to one side, making room.

“Fillies, Gentlecolts, and Interested Beings... I'd like you to meet Tyllae!”

The little Fey gulped the last bit of apple from the core she was working on and launched herself into the air. Her bright button eyes smiled at the assembly before she went into a twirl. In a burst of golden radiance she returned in her full-sized state! The results were all I could hope for!

“Bloody 'Ell!”

“...Fascinating.”

“Whoa.” Star said quietly.

“Fabulam venit ad vitam!” Xantippe whispered, clutching her amulet as Bob came to stand behind her and laid his hooves on her shoulders.

Kyrk, to his credit, kept to his seat though he sat stock-still with his hooves clamped to the side of his chair as he froze and regarded the transformation with wary eyes.

“... I heard of what happened on the Bridge but I had no idea...” He whispered.

Dazzle leaned back and looked around Kyrk.

“Hey, kid!” She waved at the Fey.

Evee leaned forward and goggled across the table!

“Hol-lee Celestia! OK, I know I was only looking out of the corner of my eye but weren't you smaller on the Bridge?”

The Fey's antennae quested tentatively as she huddled as she stood, trying to make herself smaller and shot me a troubled look before nodding to her friends.

“Here where we all first met We greet thee again. ... Though one of thee we hath not met before.” She raised a cautious hoof toward Gorge. The Lieutenant recovered quickly and accepted it gravely, giving it a brief shake before releasing it as the Fey continued.

“We are called Tyllae, friend Kyrk. Starry speaks well of thee and We are pleased to make thy acquaintance.” She smiled shyly. “We have seen thee often as We, in Our less complicated Self, played among the Crew. Thee saw Us not and it would not have been proper... as Our other Self perceived it... to show Ourselves to thee. We would like to make amends for that and beg thy indulgence for Our behavior. We are what We are whatever form We wear but in this form...” She gave him a wink and a smile. “We can behave in a manner more to the understanding of thee and thine! Shall we be friends, Good Mister Kyrk?”

Her eyes strayed to his plate with a wistful glance. “... And, pray, wert thee intending to finish that? We would be more than happy to take it off thy hooves...” She glanced at the now silent throng before adding. “Aye, aye, aye, verily!”

It was the single most reassuring thing she could have said in that moment!

“That's ol' Tilly, all roight!” Merry guffawed, pounding on the table! “Gets a lot more mileage outa her words now, don't she?”

“Feh!” Bors snorted. “Quality at the expense of quantity! She spouts like a Federation Diplomat now!”

Tyllae conjured into being a pale yellow pillow with green trim. She settled her hindquarters onto it delicately before turning toward the truculent Tellarite.

“Hush thyself, Fatty-fatso! Lest We will never tell thee where thy purple chin ribbons are!” She stuck her tongue out at Bors before turning her dark eyes on the Zebra next door. “Fair Xantippe, wouldst thee pass the strawberry jam... and the biscuits?”

It was Bors turn to bang on the table, making the Zebra jump in her seat!

“It was you!” He squealed, clutching the lurid lime-green ribbon that dangled beneath his jaw. “You turned them into something else, didn't you? I can't find them anywhere!”

“We most certainly did not!” Tyllae said patiently. “It is as We said, they are hidden in thine own room. Tell Us once again how much better the eyes and noses of Tellarites are than a Fey's!”

“Bah! You used Magic, admit it!”

Tyllae let him stew for a moment as she used her Magic to open three biscuits just in time to intercept three pink blobs of jam. She rubbed her forehooves together eagerly as she watched the process, pausing just before popping one into her mouth to address Bors.

“Thee knowest The Rule! Ask three times and We will tell thee... and thee shalt admit defeat.” She added sweetly, popping a biscuit into her mouth and chewing blissfully!

She drummed her forehooves on the deck like an oversized filly before turning to Bob... who had left only to return with a broom and a dustpan. As the Tellarite blustered he began sweeping up broken drinkware, muttering to himself and casting dark looks at most of us!

“Oh, We do love thy cooking, Noble Bob! Aye, aye, aye, verily!” She beamed veritable Alicorn Eyes and the Chief! “We regret not telling thee so earlier, but Our vocabulary was limited. Truly thee art a Prince among Ponies!”

Bob, singled out, stopped what he was doing and straightened up. He looked pleased, but a scowl still lingered on his brow.

“Well...” He drawled. “Oy'm glad you loike the tucker. Me and mine do our best and that's a fact. But...” He gave a select few of us a disapproving look. His accent became more pronounced. Bob was more than a little irritated at our behavior! “Woyle Oy 'preciate the sentiment, Oy run a clean shop 'ere! Now, lessen' ya want to be eatin' mealpacks or synthetics at this table fer th' foreseeable future, you'll keep yer smashin' stuff up antics fer Shore Leave! Oy know Oy ain't got the stuff goin' on in my Department loik Engineerin' does but Oy take pride in wot Oy do! 'Nuff said!” He nodded curtly and went back to pointedly sweeping up.

Sunny, as the ringleader, looked embarrassed and scooted her chair back to help with the cleanup. Bob waved her back with a wink meant only for her.

“You just keep yer seat, Missy! Mare in yer condition don't need to be bendin' and fetchin'. Me Mum 'ad six foals in fifteen year and Oy know 'ow it is with 'ormones and suchloik. Oy don't 'old it 'gainst ya! … But the rest of this able-bodied lot of Officers coulda least begun to clean up after themselves!”

“Told you-all so.” Star said.

“Crumbs! Any you lot ever seen them synthetics? Wouldn' 'it a doyin' dingo in the butt with 'em! S'cuse me, Mate!” Merry slid off her seat and began gathering up fragments, giving the Zebra a nudge on the ankles to give her room to work.

“Above the table and now below!” Xantippe complained, moving her hooves. “Why I sit here I do not know!”

“Sorry, Bob!” I reached for the broom. “Let me get that.”

Dazzle didn't waste any words, hastening to gather up her own pile of fragments.

I don't know how much stock the rest of us put in Bob's threat, but Tyllae was genuinely alarmed!

“Pray, friends! Allow Us!”

With that, the pips of her antennae lit up and each and every shard... as well as Sekkack's carefully wrapped bundle... glowed with rosy light as they were wafted up off the floor and out of the dustpan! The dancing fragments whirled through the air and collected into a spinning miniature galaxy of glass and ceramic that twirled every faster within the blazing nimbus as it contracted into itself. As it condensed the whole thing grew brighter and brighter until it went up in a soundless pink explosion!

...In its place, sitting next to the model of the Hermes, sat an elegant crystal vase in the shape of a daffodil bloom containing three perfect daffodils in what I was certain was precisely three inches of water!

We blinked in the wake of the flash. Dazzle winced and grabbed at her horn while Sunny looked pained. Evee was the first to say anything.

“What's up with the lights?” She asked, pointing to the ceiling.

I looked up with the rest. Three light panels ran across the space and the middle one was out.

I heard Jerry sigh.

“Arcane safeties tripped... if we're lucky! One third of the light panels on the ship are permanently enchanted in case of power failure. The excess energy of that spell overwhelmed their enchantment.” He gave the Few a wry smile. “At least it didn't trip the Sensors!”

As if on cue the Bosun's whistle of the paging system sounded from the terminal as Lieutenant Speculum, who had the Bridge on the Third Watch, called!

“Bridge to Captain! We're showing an Arcane Energy spike in the vicinity of the Galley. Seems like an unauthorized Spellcast. Is everything all right down there?”

Right on the heels of that one of Bob's crew, a white and green Unicorn buck in a pale brown jumpsuit named Sugarcane sporting a neat mint-colored mustache, came in rubbing the base of his horn.

“S'cuse me, folks. Hey, Chief! Some of the lights are out in Food Prep and the Mess. We lost some minor foodkeeping spells as well...” He trailed off, eyes locking on the Fey.

“Hey! Is that... Tyllae?”

“Yeah.” Bob grunted. “All apples in 'ere. ...You bang yer head or something?”

“Nothing like that, Chief. Just got a Hell... pardon me, folks... a heck of a headache! Some sort of Magic backlash. Something in Engineering must've blown.” He shot Jerry an apologetic look. “Nothing in our systems, no sir!”

“Wasn't Engineerin'.” Bob nodded significantly toward Tyllae. “Not to worry. 'S all taken care of! You need Sickbay?”

“Nah!” Sugarcane shook his head, not quite able to take his eyes off the Fey. “Only hurt for a little bit. Just wanted to let you know what was happening is all.” He tore his eyes off Tyllae and bobbed his head to the rest of us.

“Sorry to butt in like that, folks, Captain!”

“No problem, Cane.” I assured him. I motioned to Merry to activate the comm button. She thumbed a switch and gave me a thumbs-up.

“Wardroom to Bridge!”

“Aye-aye, Captain!”

“We're all secure down here. Tyllae was demonstrating a spell for us that was stronger than we expected. Any damage anywhere else?”

“Emergency light panels and minor spell disruption in various systems in your location and adjacent rooms above and below...” She paused, consulting the Bridge Engineering Display. “Call it about a fifty foot radius. No critical systems affected.”

“Acknowledged.” I said. “Advise Damage Control. I'll be up directly. Captain out.”

“Aye-aye, Ma'am!”

Merry thumbed off the switch as Sugarcane hustled out.

“That...” I said in the silence afterwards. “Was a mere... what's the word for a minor magic spell?” I asked the room.

“Cantrip.” Sunny supplied. “Like basic telekinesis. A foal's spell, ye ken.”

“Right! You should have seen her on the Werewolf! All by herself she packs more Arcane megawatts than a Starbase's balephaser banks in this form. Between our Technology and her Magic we're hardly defenseless!”

“Yet it was not enough, dear Starry-Eyes.” Tyllae reminded me gently before turning her star-flecked eyes to the others. “The might of the Prism will not be overcome by force.” She stated solemnly. “And ,mad though he is, even Discord recognizes the folly of admitting Starry-Eyes unto the presence of the Prism again.”

“Meaning...” Rocky said. “That he'll stand off and paste us at a distance. That's what I'd do.”

“Discord has yet to display logical behavior. Since he has never done so it is only...” Sekkack glanced around the table and decided to refrain from stereotypical Vulcan behavior. “Reasonable to assume he will not begin doing so at this late date. It may be that he will engineer another confrontation. One that will enable him to show himself in a favorable light to the Prism.” He laid his paws on his knees an looked thoughtful before adding. “Though it is practically impossible to anticipate the actions of an insane being of such power. We also have no idea of the exact nature of the relationship between Discord and the Prism. Clearly it is not merely a tool. The question now becomes is it a pet, a slave, or a colleague?”

“Or a Master.” Tyllae let her next biscuit drift back to her plate. Her eyes sought mine. “Poor Discord even now hath no clue as to that which he brought into being. His madness hath blinded him.”

Merry made a frank rude noise. “Poor Discord moy hoof! Serves the bloody bloighter royt! Oy 'opes he gets gobbled up with lots o' ketchup, eh, eh?” She nudged Xantippe with an elbow. “ 'N Oy 'opes it 'urts, too!”

“He's got it coming, all right.” Rocky stated, sipping his coffee.

“Eeyup.” Star nodded. “Hanging's too good for him.”

Tyllae looked sad and Sekkack seemed to withdraw behind his neutral Vulcan expression, going to wherever Vulcans go when they have to deal with rampantly emotional aliens.

I looked out at the suddenly silent assembly, noting the expressions... or lack thereof... and examined my own feelings.

Discord was evil through and through. Who knows how many people went into the creation of his damned Prism? And what did he do with the doubly-damned thing once he got it? He started ripping up History, turning the Universe into his private playground regardless of the teeming multitudes living in it. Even worse he started taking out his private grief on innocent beings everywhere! Sure he's insane now...privately I wondered if he was ever sane. Can the Spirit of Chaos by its very nature be sane by the standards we measure it? Turn it around, are we sane in the eyes of Discord? Are We or He the norm... and in whose eyes?

The Mare In My Head frowned and reset my board. I shook my mental self. There can be no cohabitation between him and us. We are simply too different to exist side by side, like matter and antimatter. In our Universe... under normal circumstances...the distance between the two on the average keeps things safe. But now the Universe isn't big enough any more. The antimatter is seeking out the matter to the detriment of the latter!

I reached out for my tea, not really wanting a drink but needing to do something.

“As I see it, it's Him or Us.” I said decisively. “There's no middle ground. He's got to die... if he can die.”

The Fey regarded me with real pity in those improbable eyes.

“Oh, Starry! Others, Fey and Pony, hath made that decision of old. Hath thee and thine learned nothing from the Fey?” Alas for the Pony Tree!” She regarded her food sadly and pushed it away with a pink telekinetic glow.

I fixed her with my eyes.

“If you've got a better idea I'd love to hear it. What have I decided that you and your kind haven't before? You told me yourself that at the end of your Great War the Fey wanted him dead.”

The table went silent. More than a few eyebrows were raised. I've never bucked Tyllae on anything important before now. Although I kept my voice level the reaction from the assembly was as if I'd just bawled her out like a new recruit. I had the distinct impression I'd be getting the smallest piece of cake from now on, if the look on Bob's face was any indication!

But if the Fey was insulted or hurt she gave no indication. Still, she didn't meet my gaze. Her gaze was focused on the middle of the table... or on events long, long ago.

“We spoke in sooth, Dear Starry-Eyes. After the fight to contain the Dark Magic we Fey decided the Discord was too dangerous to be allowed free reign across a depleted and ravaged world. In the brief time after the fighting, as the Fey measure Time, he wrought so much mischief and delighted is defiling and undoing what had been brought about with so much caring and labor.” She wrenched her eyes away from the past and regarded me.

“He tormented the Pony Tree, the last surviving Good Work of the Fey!” Her eyes bore into mine trying to make me see! Age-old sadness and frustration sparkled in those enigmatic eyes for a timeless instant before she dropped her gaze to continue more softly.

“ ...That we could not abide. But there were so few of Us left, spent and tired and sore in heart at the scope of the devastation. In the end we crafted a mighty Magic. One that could not be wielded by the Fey! Nay, We who in our Wisdom or Folly almost destroyed all that we loved so much did not wish to wield such Power again!”

She sighed. “In any event, the Power... or the Wisdom... of the Fey was in question. We Fey doubted and were fearful. For all Our Good Intentions We failed time and again. We cultivated other Peoples, planted so many Trees and took them under Our wings and tried to impart what We, in our eagerness to Do Good, called Wisdom. We brought The Magic into the World to work Wonders and set in motion events that nearly ended it. Could we but raise a Power to end Discord We wondered if We could save this last cherished Tree once We had it? With such Power comes the temptation to use it. What harm might We, in our Good Intent, do the Pony Tree? We dared not risk the undoing of all We held most dear to Us.”

She shut her eyes, squeezing out two diamond tears that dropped and splattered like shattered gems, and leaned her head against my upper arm. Her mane sighed forward to cover her face. When the Fey Remember, they remember Hard!

Before I quite realized it, my arm went around her neck and I held her as firmly as I dared. Gorge raised a tentative hoof and, after a little hesitation, laid it on her shoulder. Sunny, less restrained than anypony else, circled me and threw both arms around her and squeezed her to her breast. In an instant Jerry, Evee, Star, and even Rocky were clustered around. Merry clumped around the table and ducked under my arm to add her moral support. I lost sight of Bob in the shuffle but my attention was drawn by the two aliens.

Both had risen, Sekkack peering intently from a stoically impassive Vulcan face with his paws behind his back while Bors fingered his chin locks with one paw while the other fidgeted on the table. His own features were a repeating loop of concern, disbelief, and frustration. He wanted to say something soothing … but the Tellerite language just isn't set up that way! He'd come up with something a moment later and his lips parted to impart it when Xantippe startled us all!

Seeing there was precious little room left on that end of the floor, she stood and leapt up onto the table in one fluid motion. The table was anchored firmly to the floor and was made of thick duraplastic. It didn't even quiver as she nimbly navigated around the dishes in three dancing steps. Again, in one move, she delicately pushed Tyllae's dishes to one side and knelt before the Fey and caressed her mane. It happened so quickly I didn't have time to blink... though I noted that she has a real predilection for sheer lace!

Only Xantippe spoke. In tender reverence she said,

“Do not weep Old One, what is Done is Done. Whatever burden you are heir we do not want you to go back there. Nopony here denies your love, our not-so-little dove!”

Three rhymes to drive the point home. To make the Charm, as Amber Rose would say. How old is the custom? Alicorns and Zebras remember, it would seem. The lesson never traveled the gulf to Equestris. We're too new a branch on The Pony Tree.

Tyllae stirred and lifted her head to give me a grateful look before she nuzzled Sunny and turned to beam at the faces gathered round her. Before she spoke, she delicately kissed the Zebra's palm. Xantippe curled her fingers round it and grasped her amulet, depositing there to keep it safe, no doubt.

“Thee knowest the Magic. Behold, all of thee show it so well! Three branches hath the Pony Tree and three deep roots! Three and three and a mighty trunk combining all three! We Fey couldst not let thy Tree wither and die when it showed such Promise! Aye, aye, aye verily! To that end we brought forth a Spell that could be invoked by Ponies and Ponies alone. A Spell to make manifest the best qualities of thy Blessed Tree and wield the Power that came of its long growth!”

“Celestia and Luna evoked it and turned its Power upon Discord. Yet, in their mercy, they slew him not. We Fey were so proud!” Tyllae drummed her forehooves on the deck and swept all of us Pony with tender looks.

“The trouble with Discord is that naught about him lasts long enough for him to dwell upon it. Being sealed into stone would force him to reflect upon the error of his deeds. That was the intent of Celestia and Luna and the Fey supported their Wisdom... though We hath come to learn firsthoof that becoming stone leaveth much to be desired!” Tyllae shuddered. “Stone is so cold. Aye, aye, aye verily!” She shut her eyes against the memory only to open them an instant later at the sound of Bobs' voice.

“'Ere, you lot! Comin' through! Give the Sheila a little room!”

The crowd parted, some to resume seats that they dragged closer while others simply backed up against the wall. Sunny released the Fey, but kept one hoof resting on her neck right under mine. I stepped aside just far enough to let Bob through.

In one hoof he carried a large bowl, bigger than the ones used for soup. He must have repurposed one of his mixing bowls, bless him! The other hoof held a dinner plate heaped high with coffee cake.

“Just a cuppa. Sounded loike ya could use one.” He drawled in his reedy Horsetralian accent. “Made it sweet loik ya like it. There's a bit o' cake to go with. Least Oy can do from th' sound of it, eh?” He quirked her a crooked grin. “Oy ain't complainin', mind.” He reached up and mussed her mane right between her antennae for just a little before dropping it and favoring the Fey with a warm, private wink. “ Yer awright in our book, you just remember that!”

He coughed and wiped his hooves on his apron before looking around at the rest of us.

“Now, ain't you lot got better things t'do? If ya don't want mealpacks fer lunch ya oughta let us get to cleanin' up. Breakfast's over with!”

I may Captain the Ship but Bob certainly commanded the Galley! Well... we did put him through a lot that morning!

“That's our cue, everypony!” I said in a lighter tone than I actually felt. “Meeting of Department Heads one hour after the end of the Watch. Bring your best ideas!”

I lingered by Tyllae who busied herself telekinetically lifting her tea to her lips and taking a long, bracing sip as the others filed from the room. I had misgivings about her resistance to killing Discord and I wanted a private word with her before leaving. I needed to know if she really did have a better alternative before I committed us.

The Fey smacked her lips and gave herself a delighted wiggle before wafting a choice hunk of cake into position. I saw her look out of the corner of her eyes at me.

“Fear ye not, Starry-Eyes. We will not oppose thy wishes. We only wish that another way kind be found. Killing Discord hath been tried before and it worked ill for the world!We cannot slay him and we cannot let him live, it is a riddle we cannot solve...yet!” She took a big bite and chewed blissfully.

I grimaced. “I'm assuming there's a reason for you just sitting there scarfing cake. Anything you'd care to let me in on? Or is it some Deep Dark Faery Secret From Before The Dawn Of Time?” I made the air quotes.

“Have Faith in thy friends, Starry-Eyes. Failing that, have Faith in the madness of Discord! His schemes are many and over-wrought and he may yet stumble ere the end... whatever that end may be!” She took another bite, nearly finishing the piece she had.

I reached into the pink nimbus and broke a corner off the remains and popped it into my mouth and to Hell with the calories!

“...It's my fault anyway. If I had been more on the ball when I had a chance to grab that damn Prism this would all be over. The Doctor and Ditzy would still be alive and I wouldn't be risking the lives of my Ship and Crew trying to gun down a demented devil with illusions of godhood!”

Tyllae nudged my arm with her muzzle to get my attention.

“Oh, Starry-Eyes! Thee art brave, but unwise! Look what the cursed Prism did to Discord... what hope hath thee against it?”

A line from one of Sunny's book occurred to me and a grunted a bitter laugh.

“I would throw down a Dark Lord with replace him with a Dark Queen?” I paraphrased. “'And all shall love me and despair!' Is that it? Well we'll never know now. It isn't likely I'll get close enough to it to try.” I smacked a fist into a palm. “I was so close! It... saw me! I know it did!”

“Aye verily thee art marked by the Prism. It hath tasted thy blood and knows thee now. ...We can only hope this is a good thing. Be wary, Starry-Eyes, of what thee wish for!”

“Wishing is all we've got now, isn't it?” I asked sourly.

“Despair not, Dear One! Hope sustainith in the face of Darkness.” She said in a voice just for me. “That as well is a custom. One of the eldest, aye, aye, aye verily!”

Episode Sixty-Five: The Stresses of Command

EPISODE SIXTY-FIVE

THE STRESSES OF COMMAND

The Gym is one deck below the shuttle hangar and is actually adjacent to the Galley. It occupies a portion of the outermost areas of that level and contains the most open space on the Ship. The windows looking into space were added during the upgrade. The intent was to provide something of an open-air environment to offset the relatively cramped conditions everywhere else. It contains two playing floors that can be set up for a variety of sports from basketball to volleyball to badminton, pretty much anything one could think to do with the space. There is also a section set aside and stocked with exercise equipment. But the thing that makes it truly special is the fact that it is two and one-half decks high! The highest ceiling in the Hermes.

The reason, of course, is due to the Pegasai among the crew. The rest of us ground-bound types can get by lifting weights or pedaling bikes but a Pegasus needs to fly once in a while.

Mounted high on the walls of that relatively huge space are compact wind and cloud generators that can set up conditions for calisthenic against-the-wind flying or fluffy obstacles for aerobatics. I suppose it's for Pegasai what a pool is for Earth Ponies or Unicorns.

Just then a group of four, Sunny included, were getting together an impromptu game of Cloudball wherein some Pegasus pats a bit of cloud together into a roughly spherical shape and turns it loose. Both sides try batting the thing using only the wind stirred by their wings into the opposing wall where it poofs into fog. A new ball is fashioned and the process is repeated. Well, even wings need exercise!

Down at ground level ten assorted Unicorns and Earth Ponies as well as one Zebra were gearing up for a volleyball game. Looked like Mares against Stallions. I pitied the buck on the receiving end of one of Xantippe's spikes!

I had other business.

Living in almost half gravity has its advantages. No doubt it would add decades to my life since my heart and other organs didn't have to contend with the gravity of Equestris. But if I stayed in it long enough I'd never be able to go Home again and be able to stand on the slope of the Tumbledowns and watch the sun rise over the Sluggish Sea or even take a walk among the boulders seeing what the latest quake turned up. More importantly I'd never be able to sit with Daddy in our Module and small-talk about the events of the day over a plate of Rockfarmer cookies. I don't care if my breasts never get a chance to sag, I'm not giving that up!

The weight machine at the end, right in the corner, is by common understanding Mine. It sits upon a square slice of deck plating under which is a gravity generator. Like the standard models it can produce anything from .001 to 5 'G's. This one was set to a maximum of 1.8 to be attained over five minutes so I could get some stretches in before I got to work.

In a shallow locker against the wall were three more segments each three feet wide. Thin deck-plating on the top with the back a matrix of rare earths, from Earth and other worlds, that have the unique property... when alloyed and treated... of becoming gravitic superconductors. A big improvement over the early days of Star Travel when they had to space hundreds of grav generators out evenly throughout a ship to maintain constant gravity levels. Nowadays we get by with just a few per deck.

The superconductive layer on the back is half an inch wider than the deck-plating in this application to allow me to use a magnetomic dihesion tool to connect the segments. In five minutes time I had a twelve foot by twelve foot grid with the machine in the starboard upper corner.

Before I could activate the gravitic booster there was one more task. Out of the locker I withdrew a set of placards, black with bright yellow stripes each one bearing the notice 'Warning High Gravity'. These I placed a yard outside the grav plates.

Anypony who's been onboard more than a week knows I work out in high-gravity but it's amazing how many of them wander blithely up to the plates to praise or gawk. The border of the gravity field, when focused this tightly, is variable and always extends a short distance beyond the matrix. My career in Starfleet is littered with assorted sprains and pulled muscles on the part of innocent bystanders who should have known better. There was one memorable occasion... after I came up with the placards, mind you, that Caper turned to leave with one of his wings partially unfurled and ended up yanked flat on his butt, injuring his pride and nearly dislocating one wing!

Everything set up, I dusted off my hooves and switched on the grav-plates. They were set up to increase gravity by point three six 'g's a minute for five minutes taking me up the one Equestrin gravity while giving me time to do some warm-ups. I indulged in some stretches and calisthenics to loosen up, biding my time until I could feel the weight of my baggy workout clothes and the air begin to stream down from above. It was a convection current that occurred as a result of my grav-plates. I was at the bottom of a rectangular column of air being pulled downward and reaped the benefit of a refreshing wind that would come in handy later on in the workout. Other ponies nearby shared in the bonus breeze as well and I hardly ever got any complaints... except from the Pegasai!

As I was doing my final check on the equipment... it had been modified to accept my physique and gravity needs so I took special care of that particular piece of machinery... there came an annoyed squawk from above and my vision blurred as I was swept by a very brief, but chilly, burst of fog from above.

“Mind yer contraption, ye great sot!”

I shook off stray droplets that had condensed on my mane and cocked an irritated eye at Sunny who hovered a few yards shy of the gravitic effect, patting another cloud-ball into shape with a wicked grin! Her playmates were busy adjusting the cloud generators and tweaking the breeze aloft, fixing the distortions my impromptu low pressure system caused.

“Damnit, Sunny! We came in here together and you knew I'd be setting up for a workout!” I pointed out, resigned already to the inevitable consequences of my Love in a playful mood.

“Tut- tut!” She admonished. “We started our game afore ye started yer routine so 'tis incumbent 'pon yerself t' no be interferin' wi' another ponies lawful recreation. Marequess o' Queensbury rules 'n all that!”

“I've got your Marequess...” I bit back the rest of the comment and took a deep breath. “Look, just realign your cloud makers and stop being a playground lawyer already!”

But there was just no gainsaying the glint of mischief in Sunny's eye...

“Hoots!” She exclaimed, turning back to the other Pegasai. “Hark at th' High n' Mighty mucky-muck dismissin' th' likes of meself like I was soom poor, ploddin' Earth Pony 'r summat!” She at least had the decency to wink as she turned back to me.

The volleyball game, hardly begun, screeched to a halt as everypony turned to watch.

Well, the quicker it all got over with the quicker I could get back to my workout...

“Yuck it up!” I said, fixing her with a severe glare. “But you'll have to land sometime and when you do you'll see how fast I go from plodding to paddling!”

The volleyball crowd, not wanting to be left out, chimed in with a few jeers on behalf of the ground-bound two thirds of Terran civilization. Everypony wants to get in on the act.

Sunny reared back in hammy outrage. “I'll be takin' that from no Mare! C'mon, Lads n' Lassies! Up th' Rebels!” She flung her cloud-ball in my general direction and swooped up to get a reload.

I let them send a few shots my way... none of which came close to dampening me... before I hefted a free weight and threatened to send it at them discus-style!

The four of them scattered into the artificial clouds!

The volleyball teams threw laughter and cat-calls at the ceiling and soon came under dive-bombing attack from Sunny & Company. Before things devolved into a wet-gym suit show the Pegasai yielded to challenges to come down and play fair. They sent for reinforcements and soon the game went from Mares versus Bucks to Pegasai versus Earthbound. Both sides even managed to put together cheering sections!

I shook my head and let them have their fun while I got on with my workout. I needed it, too!

The Briefing I'd called for after the Watch was... memorable! Jerry and his crew had come up with something truly terrifying. I shouldn't have been surprised, I guess. I'd called for weapons powerful enough to put down a god and I wasn't fussy about the particulars. Well, Jerry came through in spades!

The core of the thing was a standard photon torpedo, basically an antimatter warhead with a short-range warp-capable chassis. The new Mark III's that we carried were rated at a fifty-megaton yield and are the most powerful one-punch weapon mounted on a starship. Not incredibly maneuverable but possessing a longer range that our balephasers, factor in the balefire enhancement and you have a truly awesome anti-ship weapon.

Jerry admitted that his idea wasn't anything original. There had to be Ponies in the weaponry R&D departments in Starfleet that had toyed with the concept but it just wouldn't have been economically feasible. What fleet could afford to carry an arsenal of weapons that cost more than the ship that carried them?

Dilithium, that paradoxical substance with its unique multidimensional properties that made faster than light travel possible, was the key. As far as modern science can tell, it is formed in the aftermath of hyper-nova explosions when stars at least thirty times the mass of our Earth's sun burn through their hydrogen. After the fusion process uses up the hydrogen it begins fusing the helium it had been stockpiling during its career. The helium is fused into lithium, lithium to beryllium, and so on down the periodic table to iron. At that point the cycle breaks down. The atomic structure of iron makes it physically impossible to fuse into denser materials and the star in question simply turns off. Now, without the force of the fusion reaction of the core to prop it up, the star collapses in upon itself. In stars less than thirty solar masses, the core is crushed into a neutron star while the outer layers are blown off in a nova explosion. Truly huge stars collapse into a Singularity, the infamous Black Holes that were the darlings of twentieth-century astrophysicists. But in that middle range the incredibly dense neutron core itself is shattered in a truly awesome display of pyrotechnics and the incredibly dense, high energy environment spawns the heavier elements that make planets... and people... possible.

As a general rule of thumb, the higher up on the periodic table an element is, the rarer it is. Federation science has currently identified one hundred thirty-seven elements, dilithium is number one hundred twenty-three... but it is weirder that all the rest combined!

Terrestrial elements starting with Polonium onward are radioactive, spontaneous decaying into less dense elements over the a span of time measuring from fractions of a second to billions of years. Twentieth century scientists suspected... and twenty second century scientists confirmed... that the elements become stable beyond a certain point. Starting with element 121 begins a string of exotic but stable, hyper-dense elements that have since been confirmed to exist naturally... in very tiny amounts. Really tiny amounts as in parts-per-trillion and beyond! Minute quantities all forged in the fires of hyper-novas and scattered across the cosmos.

These elements necessitated new updates to the Periodic Table. A few, like dilithium, occupy that latest series labeled 'transdimensional'. For instance, it should weigh more than forty-four times more than gold... yet one can heft a chunk of it the size of my palm in one hoof at an apparent weight of a little over two pounds! It's mass, according to the latest theories, is distributed across adjacent dimensions. Which, no doubt, explains its most well known peculiarity.

Dilithium has an exaggerated persistence in Spacetime, a durability that spans several adjacent dimensions. A crystal can be shaped with an industrial cutting laser but you have to cut it for a few months before you start to make a mark in it... which is why we use Magic to alter the raw crystals form. For reasons I have no hope of understanding it can be shapechanged... with Magic. Why a perfectly understandable physical substance should be so susceptible to metaphysical forces I'll never know. Blame the Fey, I guess.

The upshot of all this is we have access to a material that acts, in essence, as a catalyst for an antimatter reaction. It participates in the event without changing itself in the process. The reaction chamber in a Time Warp Core is lined with dilithium and it is where the high energy plasma that is the lifeblood of a Starship is produced. Handy stuff, indeed. ...But it gets even better!

Dilithium, properly shaped and enchanted, acts as a lens! It makes that energy, for lack of a better term, coherent in the same way a laser takes otherwise radiant light and lashes it into a tight, powerful stream of wavelengths moving in one direction. Which is why we can cross a light-year on a hoof full of antiduterium atoms. Before dilithium it was hard to squeeze that sort of efficiency out of the old-style synthetic lithium crystals that Starbubble took the Phoenix out with.

Incredible stuff, dilithium. Without it, a balephaser would be a piece of equipment so bulky it would take two Ponies... or one Equestrin... to carry it. And a Starship's balephasers would take up a couple of decks each!

Until that afternoon that was about as weaponized dilithium got... until Jerry produced his latest Engineering miracle.

As mentioned earlier, we were carrying an extra set of crystals gifted to the Federation by my cousins on Equestris. Enough to outfit another ship of our size for its lifetime.

Dilithium is rare. It occurs in microscopic portions on the vast majority of worlds, but megatons of rock and ore have to be processed to get a half an ounce of the stuff! Large deposits of it are very rare and very much sought after in known space, which makes the stuff... as Tyllae would put it... very, very, very expensive indeed!

We mine... and grow... the crystals on Equestris. It occurs there and the conditions are just right to make them rock-farmable. This is the main reason that the Tellarites and Orion Syndicates took such a covetous interest in us. There are still a few on Equestris that maintain that the Federation took us in, not by virtue of our kinship, but to secure a trove of dilithium to power its Fleets. Personally, I prefer to think that the dilithium was icing on the cupcake. If greed was their only goal, the Federation would have 'nationalized', to use the old-style term, the works and appropriated it. Instead, we sell it to the Federation at a tidy profit while still offering a generous discount compared to other sources.

Whatever the reason, we were sitting on something over six billion credits worth of premium dilithium not doing anything at all! As I said earlier, a princely gift indeed!

...Jerry wanted to pack it around a photon torpedo warhead.

It wasn't as simple as merely duct-taping it to the magnetic containment bottle of the payload. The crystals would have to be carefully aligned and positioned to amplify the explosion to create a million-megaton detonation!

I was floored by the idea but he wanted to carry it one step further. He envisioned two shells of dilithium. The first one to amplify the original event, and the second one to re-amplify the first and focus it inward to force a sort of subspace implosion...sometimes I think there's a streak of the classic Mad Scientist in Jerry. Back Home the Eugenics Council would be keeping a very close eye on him! In any event he had run mathematical models that suggested it was possible. The real trick lay in getting the crystals into the proper position and having them last that crucial fraction of a femtosecond before everything went up in a flash of radiation that would be visible in the Andromeda Galaxy!

The best way I can describe the event would be calling it a 'clean' nova. A titanic release of energy without all that ionized high-energy plasma that comes of the stellar atmosphere being blown off into space getting in the way. This bomb, though, would propagate a lot of its energy into the subspace spectrum. More than any controlled experiment or engineering disaster in history!

...Which meant, of course, that its effects would radiate out from Spacetime Zero faster than light. The initial estimates indicated a kill zone two light-years in diameter in which anything made of matter would simply be wiped out due to the disruption...or destruction...of the local spacetime fabric. Lethal radiation and near-terminal spacetime disruption out to five light-years.. Beyond that out to eight light-years a delta radiation wavefront would accompany a severe subspace shockwave that would be instant death to anything using transtators or Time Warp Drives. The delta radiation would decay into the gamma frequencies out to twelve light-years. Life-bearing worlds beyond that radius would have to roll the dice for survival out to another dozen light-years. Subspace communication as well as radio would be impossible for years within that volume of space. Time Warp Drive would be impossible possibly forever since the event would have permanently altered subspace, having created what could best be described as a shoal in continuum.

Any life-bearing world within a twenty-four light-year wide bubble would be killed. The ecology of living worlds beyond that zone for another twenty light-years would be compromised. Such a thing set off on Earth would gut the Federation. Celestia alone knows what the effects would be on stable stars nearby, it was simply impossible to estimate accurately. Destruction on this scale is a thing out of nightmares!

When Jerry finished his proposal, as I recall, the Briefing Room fell silent. Merry spoke first, a hushed, lurid string of language that would have made my old Drill Sargent weep in admiration.

Sekkack reminded us quietly that he was under the impression that to attempt to take on Discord by brute force had been dismissed as impractical as well as illogical. There was no proof that the Prism itself would be destroyed.

Jerry reminded him that there couldn't be any proof since nothing on this scale existed as anything more than a Doomsday Scenario in a Federation war game.

Rocky favored the idea... as a last-ditch effort. He reminded us that any battle plan that favored immolating ones self as well as the Enemy was more properly a Roamulan tactic... and it hadn't worked out so well for them in the end.

Star looked from Jerry to myself for long seconds before sitting back in his chair and crossing his arms before stating,

“Eynope. Got to find a better way.”

Melody wondered if there was any way to scale down the effect by reducing the initial antimatter charge in the torpedo. Jerry pointed out that it would take more time than we might have to figure out the proper amount... but it was possible.

Evee, conscious of her rank, cleared her throat and said that it all seemed kind of extreme while Bors simply gaped in absolute silence.

Xantippe said nothing, simply bowing her head and clutching her amulet. Well... the Zebricans have reason to be sensitive to the nuances of weapons of mass destruction after their experiences in the Eugenics War. I couldn't find it in myself to hold it against her.

Sunny's eyebrows almost flew off the top of her head as Jerry outlined his proposal. I'm sure she was having flashbacks to the dark days of her own experience in that war. But she kept her peace and folded one hoof over the burgeoning bulge on her abdomen and took Xantippe's free hoof in her own.

“Aye,” she muttered. “Innit wonderful, th' march o' Progress?”

Tyllae was solemn and she turned to look at me.

“Discord hath his Prism and thee wilt have thy bomb. And if thee survivest these days how many more wilt thee have thy kind make, We wonder? We shalt stand by thee in thy decision...but We pray thee remember that the making of a terrible thing spawns a desire to use it! Heed the words of the Fey who stood once where thee and thine standeth now. We hath seen many thinking Peoples tread this path only to follow it to oblivion. We beg thee think long and hard ere thee do this. We love thee and thy kin... yet We fear for thy willingness to contemplate such a work. Aye, aye, aye verily!”

I pointed out to her that no star-faring culture could afford to build more than one of these things. Bankrupting one economy in the name of security was a concept that died in the Twentieth Century. The days, I informed her, of stockpiling weapons of such shocking devastation with no intent to use them were long gone. Our current predicament was unique.

I remember chewing the inside of my lip in silence for a while, the eyes of all upon me...

I authorized Jerry to go ahead. ...Luna help me I said yes! I told him to assemble as many of his Ponies to do the job, even though there was plenty of other important work that still needed to be done. If we couldn't get close enough to the Prism to wrest it away from Discord then there was no other choice but to use every means at our disposal to kill it and him. I made it clear, though, that this was my decision and I would bear the responsibility for whatever came of it.

The meeting broke up... where else can you go after you commit yourselves to building the Ultimate Doomsday Weapon... and we went our separate ways. Jerry to Engineering to set the wheels in motion and the others to their departments. I didn't see any reason to make this some sort of Secret Project. On a ship this small it just wasn't possible. Besides the damn thing would likely fry us as well as Discord... the state of the Hermes Time Warp Drive at that moment made our chances of outrunning the explosion iffy at best. At Warp Seven we would cover one light-year in one and one-third days. We'd need about two and one half days to get to the minimum safe distance. Everything depended on just how fast the subspace component of the detonation propagated itself. Jerry's models weren't a lot of help, giving rates as varied as Time Warp two to Time Warp twenty... depending on the yield which was a direct function of how accurately the crystals were placed and aligned. Too many variables and an appalling lack of experimental data on the subject made the Scientist in me... and the Engineer in Jerry... grind our teeth in frustration.

Jerry had his work to keep him busy. Me, I opted for the Gym. I just had to do something to deal with the stress! The Bomb aside, we were still hopelessly behind schedule for making the rendezvous with the coordinates in Luna's scroll and there wasn't anything we could do about it. There was simply no way the Hermes could muster enough speed to make it in time without destroying ourselves in the process.

As far as using long-range sensors to find the 'Storm among the Stars' we were continuing our run of bad luck. The trouble was we had no way of knowing just what the rock-rubbing hell to look for! Thanks to the arch-whacko of Chaos the entire Pegasus Sector was an astrophysical nightmare. Something had shoved two entire stars light-years out of their charted positions and another seemed to have simply disappeared... was this the 'Ruined Star' Luna mentioned... and we were clueless as to what!

An Ion Storm creates a characteristic radiation wavefront but those are detectable light-years away and while they might be able to sterilize any world they wash across they most certainly do not have the capability to move stars!

A pair of rogue neutron stars zipping along in orbit around one another might explain the phenomena... but we would have picked up the gravity wave signature long ago. Besides, anything that could drag a star that far that fast by mere gravitation would have ripped it to shreds.

...And what destroys a star without leaving some sort of hyper high-energy event?

No, it was apparent that whatever was happening in the Pegasus Sector wasn't emitting any sort of energy in the electromagnetic or subspace bands. ...Which only left the Arcane energy frequencies.

OK, it's just the Earth Pony in me that made me check out more conventional options for the problem. Given the nature of Discord and his triply-damned Prism it should have been obvious.

I ordered a scan of the Arcane spectrum and we hit pay dirt... more or less.

Scans confirmed that the Pegasus Sector was awash in Arcane energy, basking in the metaphorical glow of a point source that was cutting a shallow chord through the near corner from nadir to zenith at a seventeen degree slant canted toward the Galactic Core. At its nearest approach it would come within twenty-four light-years of us. We would need nineteen-plus days at our current speed to intercept... which would leave us eighteen days late on our rendezvous!

Unfortunately the Sensors couldn't give us anything more concrete to work with. The Source Point... and not one of us doubted for an Andorian minute it wasn't Luna's Storm-Among-The-Stars...wasn't moving at a constant pace. It had gone sublight to Time Warp Nine while we had been observing it. (Our estimate for intercept were based on its average velocity.) The size of the damn thing was impossible to lock down as well. Its size was, to say the least, variable. That was all we could ascertain at this distance... yet another set of variables and missing data to add to our frustration!

For frustrations we had... in abundance! At the end of the briefing Jerry let me know that our last three attempts at replicating replacement modules for the Main Computer had failed. The accumulated damage to our Ship and its systems was taking its toll on our ability to perform the delicate work. His new estimates gave us no better than a one in ten chance of success...

I ground my teeth and bade him and his already overworked crew to continue replicating. There just wasn't anything else for it. We needed the Main Computer to keep the Hermes operating at peak efficiency. In the end I seconded most of the Science Department to Engineering. Research was pretty low on our list of priorities just then anyway.

I was in a pretty sour mood when I returned to the Bridge for a quick stop to update my log entries. Of course I took pains not to show it, no Equestrin worthy of the title would admit that they weren't Up To The Job publicly. Besides, the Crew didn't need to see their Captain as anything but confident and assured. Caper gave me a fine crew and I was beginning to worry about how much longer they'd hold up. I was hoping that all the work we were doing would keep them from dwelling too much on our current predicament... but these were Ponies and not robots. How long could I demand them to keep this up? How long could they keep it up?

Tyllae was one of my better ideas, if I do say so myself. Prior to her re-introduction to the Crew she had assumed the position of a mascot, her antics a pleasant distraction from the hectic pace of the last few weeks. Since she had taken to showing the Other Side of her personality... Faery Pun intended... she'd become something of a celebrity. A living piece of the History that had nearly been forgotten in the last few centuries. The story of Caper and Stimbolt's fate was just that, a story. But Tyllae in all her Elfin Glory was the promise of the truth behind the tales. It was a Sunny predicted, they loved her before and they loved her even more afterwards. I'm given to understand that she spent two entire Watches in the Galley regaling the Crew with stories of Days Gone By... while making sure leftovers were at an all time low!

This One Good Thing I hugged close to my heart as a counterweight against the odds stacked against us when I got to the Bridge. Ordering my thoughts for my log entry I flicked my tail through the hole, put my knees together, and jammed myself into that too-tight chair...

It turned out to be the nugget that broke the mine cart! With a creak and a snap the whole thing tilted back about ten degrees and rotated about fifteen degrees to port. I froze in place, mortified, as I rocked side-to-side in ever decreasing arcs until it stopped.

It was bound to happen sooner or later. I was more than twice as heavy as the damn thing had been designed for and it was a tribute to its makers that it had lasted that long. Still... it was very embarrassing.

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it, but I'm very sensitive about my size. While it was pleasant to be considered tall for a change as opposed to Back Home, and strong enough to take care of myself in the face of hazards of my job, the fact that I outweighed everypony around me almost by a factor of three had the effect of making me nervous about doing the most prosaic things. When you spend your life crossing your fingers every time you sit on a chair you get mighty self-conscious! My life beyond Equestris is littered by a lot of embarrassing incidents involving me ending up flat on my butt in a restaurant or even, on one very memorable occasion, a Staff Meeting!

It leaves a body feeling positively fat! I don't know how it works on Earth but on Equestris being fat equals being lazy with all the negative implications of not doing One's Bit For The Colony that entails. I know, I know! It's strictly an Equestrin Thing but that's just how I was brought up. In this modern day and age its just silly to obsess over calories or narcissistic concepts of beauty but I do... and that's just how I am.

None of which did me any good as I sat there swinging to a stop! To give the Crew their credit nopony laughed. Melody and Code looked up in genuine alarm and Gorge offered me a hoof up out of my seat. Everypony else snatched a quick look and got back to what they were doing.

I gave the thing a tug and put it back on an even keel, but it was hopeless. The least little bit of pressure set it rocking back again. Capers' chair... I had just broken my old friends' Command Chair with my oversized butt. I couldn't help a depressed sigh.

“Right.” I said quietly. “Somepony get a hold of Engineering and see if they can't tack this back into shape. If anypony needs me ...I'll be in the gym.”

Which leads us rather circuitously back to why I really needed to vent some stress that afternoon!

I can bench press eleven hundred pounds in the course of a workout to build up a decent sweat and blaze off extra calories. On that particular session, over the course of an hour and a half I had worked up to an even thirteen hundred. That's a decent load for a mining drone. Me, Augment from a high-gravity world or not, I was left drenched in sweat and gasping!

I'd been so focused on what I was doing that I completely lost track of the volleyball game. By the time I'd gone into cooling-down exercises while the grav-plates cycled back to Earth normal I managed to notice that the Gym was more-or-less deserted except for two Ponies... well an Alicorn and a Zebra, to be precise... who hovered beyond the border of my workout area indulging in some classic Ta i-Chi training moves. They were waiting on me, apparently. Sunny was understandable, but I wondered just what Xantippe needed...

I stowed my gear as quietly as I could and cleaned off the machine. I threw a towel around my neck and sat on the padded bench and waited for them to finish. I hoped they wouldn't take too long, now that I was done I was feeling definitely chilly sitting there in my damp sweatsuit. Cramped quarters or not I was seriously considering drawing a jumpsuit from the Quartermaster Replicator and indulging in a hot shower in the Gym's facilities. I'd easily take up two spaces in the group shower but it wasn't as if there was a crowd in there at the moment.

I'd tucked my hooves into my armpits and was just about to indulge in some calisthenics to warm up again when they smoothly slid to a stop. Xantippe clasped her hooves in front of herself and bowed from the neck to Sunny who did the same. The serene expression on her face morphed instantaneously into a scowl as she turned her gaze to me.

“'N what th' bloody blue blazes are ye tryin' t' do then? Ah saw the braw, great stack o' weights ye had on yon contraption! Half a bloody ton, forsooth! Yer lucky ye didna crush yer windpipe or dislocate yer shoulders! Are ye no s'posed t' hae spotters r' somesuch when ye do that?”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on, Sunny! Who would I get to stand in there with me? Besides, the safeties on the machine are there to keep anything like that from happening. I just needed a good workout is all.” I fetched her a tender swat to her bottom that Xantippe pretended not to notice.

“All in all it was nicely done.” She demurred. Though in truth it came to more than half a metric tonne.”

“'Twas still reckless no matter hae many hairs ye care t' split!” Sunny shot back.

Xantippe leaned in to speak to me confidentially, smiling slightly with downcast eyes.

“Do not let yourself be bossed, she's only mad that her team lost!”

“Dinna be so smug!” Sunny brandished a finger at the serenely smiling Zebra. “ We lost by only one point n' ye only got that by virtue of a bloody foul! 'Struth! Th' things some ponies will do t' win a friendly game!”

“Oh?” I looked to Xantippe for explanation.

As usual, she never raised her eyes to mine... though she did slip Sunny a playful glance.

“The rules must be different from race to race.” The Zebra nodded thoughtfully. “ But I never learned how to play using my face! I wonder if this is one of the jewels of the Marequess of Queensbury rules?”

“Aye, Ah never saw it comin'!” Sunny admitted. “Ah was in th' second row, a prime spot t' stop an incomin' spike ye ken. Whin Ah saw her go up n' swing her arm, Ah got ready. Ah heard th' 'wap' when she hit the ball... then all I saw was bloody stars! Faith! It was like a bloody photon torpedo! Whanged off me noggin' n' soared off! Crosswind got a piece o' it n' tipped it back into air but 'twas already in th' exercise equipment whin Sunstrike made a try at it but 'twas a lost cause. Still, th' laddie kept it from endin' up in yer lap so 'twasn't in vain after all. Oh...” Sunny dug me on the arm. “Incidentally, we're a-blamin' ye fer th' loss. If 'tweren't fer yer bloody no-fly zone th' laddie might had it!”

Xantippe made a scoffing, coughing noise. When we looked at her she said.

“If I were to suggest a word, I would say, um... merde!”

Sunny had to explain the word to me, I never studied Prench. We all laughed.

“OK. Well everything that happens on the Ship is the Captain's responsibility isn't it? I'll tread carefully around any Pegasai I come across in the future!”

“Oh Ah dinna ken ye've anythin' t' fear from th' Aerial Mafia, Lass. Yer reputation precedes ye!” She winked at the smirking Zebra.

“Yes, they've decided to be beware, lest they end up like your Command Chair!”

I felt my ears droop. “Well, crap! That didn't take long, did it?” I sighed. “As long as they continue taking orders from 'Captain Fatso' I ...”

“Och! This again!” Sunny appealed to the ceiling for help. “Th' only appreciable fat on ye is 'tween yer big, hairy ears! How could anypony wi' yer overweenin' insecurity end up in command of a bloody starship is beyond th likes o' me! If yer too blind t' th' facts o' yer bloody biology...” She narrowed her eyes at the softly chuckling Zebra.

“What's so bloody funny then?”

“At the risk of joining this affray I only wish to say...” Xantippe pointed one delicate finger my way. “Before I end up in the doghouse you might want to pay attention to your spouse! I am very much afraid that you are being played!”

“Wha d'ye mean...?” Sunny narrowed her lovely eyes at me instead and I gave her a wink!

“And I'm told that I'm easy! That volleyball must've scrambled your brains, Toots! I should take you back home and give you a thorough, ah, physical... just to be sure.” I waggled my eyebrows meaningfully until her scowl melted away.

“Aye well there's a lot t' be said fer that isn't there. Just remember that Ah'm th' Senior Physician here, ye've got a bit more t' learn 'bout playin' Doctor!”

“I make up for in enthusiasm and stamina what I lack in technique.” I admitted. “But even you have to admit I'm a conscientious student.”

“That ye are but there'll be no Docterin' whatsoever 'till ye take a shower, ye great smelly lump!” She wrinkled her nose up and gave me a kiss on the end of mine.

“That is my cue to bid you adieu.” Xantippe laughed, but then grew solemn. “I have, however, set myself to a task. There is a thing I'd like to ask.” She hesitated and snuck a peek up into my eyes for a bold instant before dropping them again as she continued.

“As the Captain of a ship in space you possess, or so I am led,” She lifted her eyes resolutely to meet mine. “The legal capacity for two ponies to be wed. I wish to ask, as a favor to me, if you would perform the ceremony.”

Introduction

PRISM, PRISM: An introduction

PRISM, PRISM is an anthropomorphic story inspired by and set in the milieu of the classic STAR TREK series created by Gene Roddenberry and the wonderfully enjoyable My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic series by Lauren Faust, the excellent (If somewhat grim!) Fallout: Equestria story by the talented Kkat, and last, but by no means least, the good people at Hasbro.

In the original series Captain Kirk and the crew of the good ship Enterprise had the opportunity to interact with their opposite numbers from an alternate universe that was essentially a flip-flopped mirror image of their own. The episode was titled, appropriately enough, ‘Mirror, Mirror’ and it showed how things can turn out when people make the Wrong Choices.

The Mirror Universe, as it has come to be known, was a polar opposite of the benign and constructive Federation. It postulated a Galaxy dominated by a power-centric Terran Empire that conquered its rivals rather than incorporating them into its being, founded on the principles of might makes right, xenophobia, and intolerance…the banes of our much-touted ‘Human Condition’.

This story is a further expansion on that topic. The mirror of our conscience, to further the analogy of the original story, shows us the mirror image or ourselves. We can choose to act on what the mirror shows us or not, make that person in the mirror more presentable… or smash it and have done. Become someone better or not.

But the light that makes the mirror work is made up of a vast spectrum of colors. A mirror throws that whole spectrum back at you but a prism, on the other hand, reveals the individual colors that make it up. A rainbow gives us a hint at the beauty that is otherwise not realized in the light that surrounds us and is taken so often for granted.

The Prism Universe… as I am pleased to call it… can be thought of as one of those separate colors, (Pink, perhaps!) part of a glorious whole that combines to make up the Light so beloved by the philosophers. Other eyes see different sections of that vast spectrum and the day will yet come when we, as a species, can compare notes with the Others about what they see in Friendship. Such was the vision of Mr. Roddenberry and Ms. Faust.

This story is a lighthearted romp with occasional moments of weirdness, a fantasy, a foray into the timeless realm of ‘What If…?’. Quantum Physicists are in a better position to make a ruling on the existence of parallel worlds in parallel universes. I go nowhere new in that regard. This is a story about People and People are People whether they wear pastel fur or not, whether they have one color of skin or another, whether they practice this form of politics or that. All of us shine in the Light whatever we are, let us try to shine brighter. …This, too, is the vision evoked by Mr. Roddenberry.

It is vogue, these days, to cast the tale of Star Trek in an alternate universe. In that spirit I have tinkered the tale of Equestria as well. May the fans forgive…or at least tolerate… me.

In this latter-day Equestria, history is divided into two eras. The most ancient era, which encompasses the events of the series, is referred to a ‘Before the Change’ or ‘B.C.’. The latter period, now over twenty-two centuries in duration, is designated ‘A.D.’ or, ‘After Departure’. ‘What Change?’ and ‘Who departed?’ are fair questions. Let’s peer through a magic prism and see what might have happened…

For millennia Celestia and Luna ruled over and protected a gradually growing and prospering population. Pegasai, Unicorns, and Earth Ponies worked together to build a civilization. The work was hard. Magic was a great help but was, by its very nature, unreliable or inefficient. Useful in the broad context, it often falls short in dealing with more precise and specific issues. Magic can light lamps but it cannot build a house. It gives solutions but not understanding. It fell to the Earth Ponies to make tools and develop Science to improve their lives. With only their heads and hooves they began the long climb toward an Industrial Society. The Princesses were sympathetic but were unable, or unwilling, to do much to change things. When the challenge became too much for the industrious Ponies they were able to fall back on Them for help.

As time went by Ponies multiplied and spread across Equestria and the Earth itself, founding new realms from Roam to the Neighmericas to Horsetralia. So many cities full of Ponies of all walks of life and all of them turning to Canterlot for guidance and assistance. In the fullness of time Celestia perceived that the Ponies had become too dependent upon Herself and the other Royal Alicorns. Her Little Ponies were growing up and the time had come for them to assume the responsibility for their own destinies… Thus, after centuries of debate, She Came to a Decision.

Twenty-two hundred years ago Celestia and Luna decided to leave. They told Their Little Ponies that they were not abandoning them. They would go elsewhere and wait and any Pony could find them in the end if they truly wanted to. Like Twilight Sparkle, the entire Pony race were set to a Task. They would have to learn to work even closer with each other in Harmony and Friendship to bring to fruition their potentials. When the Ponies found their Princesses again they would report on how they had done. Such was the Covenant. It was a hard task, but one Celestia felt her Ponies could perform.

With the Covenant came a Last Gift. One that would allow Ponies to better cope with the world without relying on Magic. The Change. On the eve of their leave-taking the Moon was risen one last time. All over the world Ponies slept to the tune of a mystic Lunar lullaby while Celestial Magic flowed across the world... When they woke they no longer walked on four legs. They became bipeds and now possessed hands! The changes to their physiology, for obvious reasons, prompted a even greater emphasis on clothing since now all their previously concealed bits were so prominently displayed! The world now spun around the Sun, the Moon spun around the Earth in accordance with fixed physical laws that no longer needed constant oversight …and things would never be the same. With this ability to better wield and make tools the slow simmer of Equestrian Industry burst into a roiling boil.

Whether it was a consequence of the Change or not, when the Princesses left a certain portion of the inherent Magic of Equestria left with them. Certainly for centuries to come Magic waned in strength and Science came into supremacy. Only in the last few centuries had it begun to make a comeback. …Given the nature of the ensuing centuries some historians debate on how much input Discord had into crafting the Last Gift.

The Princesses were gone but their memory remained but became more and more apocryphal as generations passed away who were eyewitnesses to their existence. Time, practicality, and the social upheavals of twenty-one hundred years conspired to make them, in the end, mere legend.

Two hundred and fifty years before the events in this story a group of well-meaning Scientists and Politicians made an attempt to improve Pony Society by improving Ponies themselves by selective breeding and genetic enhancement to produce a ‘superior’ Pony. But, as has been observed in Later Days, superior enhancement produces superior ambition, arrogance, and greed. The ‘Superponies’ ,as they were called in the late twentieth century, were intended to be quietly introduced from behind the scene. They were to unobtrusively inserted into positions of power and influence to be unveiled in triumph when they proved the theories of their creators. Instead, these Ponies looked upon the others as a lesser breed and were impatient with the slow moving plans their creators had laid. The Superponies turned on their patrons and declared themselves openly. They declared their intention to rule the world as was their right by virtue of their superior condition. All other Ponies would submit to ‘Optimization’ or be destroyed. The Eugenics Wars had begun.

What followed was the bloodiest, most grim chapter in Pony History. Equestria… the world… was nearly destroyed in thirteen horrible years. The Augments were put down but it took generations for Ponykind to begin to recover. The destruction was widespread and indiscriminate and the legend of the Princesses and their Golden Age became little more than a legend of hope in dark, dark times. Canterlot survived mostly intact but was little more than a collection of quaint, revered architecture by then. The pragmatic survivors of the Wars turned their energies toward healing the world and unifying what was left of Ponykind.

Among the survivors was a theoretical physicist named Starbubble who finished a line of research instigated before the War and created the first practical faster-than-light drive out of the ashes of the destruction. His test flight attracted the attention of a fusion-powered starship from the planet Vulcan. They had been observing Earth for decades but refrained from making contact on ethical grounds. Starbubble’s flight piqued their curiosity and they landed and initiated Earths First Contact. Starbubble shared his discovery with them and, a few decades later, The United Federation of Pastures was born and Ponies ventured into Space… with one eye cast looking for a familiar, beloved face in the darkness.

Enjoy the story and take from it what you will. As for me, I’m pleased to present it as a tribute to several of the things that I love. Let us then peer into a magic prism to catch a glimpse of what might have been had the dreams of Roddenberry and Faust coincided…

Chapter Four- Everypony gets a chance

CHAPTER FOUR

EVERYPONY GETS A CHANCE

I woke up the next morning to discover that Sunny had abandoned her pillow in favor of something warmer and snugglier, her head lay on my left breast and she had a hoof draped across my tummy. She wasn’t doing anything lascivious, just lying there with a contented, quiet smile, snoring softly. I stroked her mane, fingers running lightly through her curls and simply loved her.

Her horn ended up just in front of my muzzle. Remembering just how sharp the thing was I was in no great hurry to do anything that might make her jerk her head around should she wake suddenly! This left me in something of a dilemma, especially since I had to pee just then! It would have been a shame to disturb her. She lay against my left side, as much of it as she could, snugly as a second skin with one of her knees hitched up on my left thigh as if she were going to climb onto me. She clung there so at peace like a little Filly hugging a beloved stuffed toy. Sunny’s bitter use of the word came back to me at that moment but it wasn’t in me to feel anything but affection just then. But if she climbed up any further she wouldn’t be improving my bladder situation…

“Sunny?” I said softly.

She mumbled something and squirmed closer, that horn of hers ducking under my chin and coming to rest alongside my right jaw line. Oh crap!

I went rigid, keeping absolutely still as I felt my pulse beating right next to her built-in bayonet. I cleared my throat and tried again a little more loudly.

“Sunny? Honey? Time to wake up just a little…please?” I jiggled her shoulder just a bit, conscious of that horn’s every movement.

Sunny made an annoyed noise and wriggled herself closer, burying her face in my mammary and actually climbing on board the rest of me. While she didn’t weigh much what weight she had was making life awfully uncomfortable! Even worse, she was one of those Ponies that hate to get up in the morning…

Keeping that wicked point off to the side, I leaned in closer. My free hoof slipped off her shoulder, down her back and poised near her bottom.

“Sunny! Wakey-wakey! C’mon, let’s go!” I gave her a soft, but firm, whack right behind the Cutie-Mark!

I felt her start, finally awake. After only a second she recovered her voice. “Here! I dinna do THAT first date or any! What’s th’ bloody time, anyway?” She looked around blearily.

I scooped her up in my arms and stood to deposit her back on the bed with a hurried kiss. “It’s time for me to pee! But I couldn’t figure out a way to wake you up without getting my throat cut by that spear on your noggin.” I hurried out of the room and had a few anxious moments with her too-tiny, utterly fragile-looking toilet. When I returned she was sitting on the edge of the bed, her head hanging and her mane over her face, yawning.

“My turn!” She yawned and shuffled away like a zombie Pony I say in an old movie once. I climbed into bed and pulled the covers back for her.

“Six bloody fifteen in th’ mornin’!” She groused wearily, “Sure an’ if I didna love ye, Ye’d be feelin’ ma bloody hoof on yer bloody back side, that ye would.” She yawned tremendously and gave me a sleepy kiss when she climbed back in. “’N fer th’ sake o’ future reference…” She reached up and plucked something off the end of her horn. A small sheath that slipped over the end of the sharp tip. I hadn’t noticed it in the dim light! “Ah never go t’sleep wi’out ma U.P.D., ye see!” I let her replace the thing before I gathered her up and rolled onto my back with her sprawled atop me.

“And how the hay am I supposed to know what a U.P.D. is?” I asked, running one hand through her mane and letting the other rest on her bottom.

Sunny clearly liked the new sleeping arrangement. She plumped up my right breast like a pillow before snuggling back down, the rest of her seeming to melt right into place. She yawned again. “Sure an’ it stands for Unicorn Protective Device. Invented by a Unicorn named ‘Whit Pony’ or summat. Been around fer ages. Now…” She yawned again, “If ye wake me up as such an unholy hour again I’ll tickle ye silly, see if I don’t. G’night, Dear!” She kissed the closest part of me to her muzzle and I gave her a mock swat on her bottom. Alicorns!

A ‘holier’ hour for Sunny turned out to be 9AM. My internal clock was still running along Tellarite time and the seventeen day trip to Earth was on a Civilian Transport that had not adopted the Stardate system. In light gravity I’m happy with five standard hours of sleep so I was quite rested when I roused Sunny earlier. Still, cuddling a sleepy, beautiful Alicorn to your breast isn’t a bad thing and I occupied myself by dozing, listening to the sounds of the harbor, and, finally, with a book from her collection. I was halfway through ‘Nine Ponies in Amber’ when I was startled to hear a series of chimes from what I assumed was the Public Address System on the yacht. “Bing, bong, bong, BING!” I put the book open and face down back on the shelf when the sounds repeated.

Sunny stirred and looked up blearily, smacking her lips a few times and yawning. She poked the breast she wasn’t sleeping on a few times. “Time t’git up, Starry-ma-Dear! Up an’ at ‘em an’ all that!”

“I’m up here!” I growled good-naturedly, administering another swat to her bottom which only made her giggle.

“Aye that ye are. …But some of th’ more fun bits start down here!” She wriggled up and gave me a good-morning kiss before she bounced off to the shower just ahead of another swat!

I had laid out my clothes for today when she re-emerged wearing just a damp residue of water and toweling off her mane

“Ye know, that was some o’ th’ best sleep I’ve ever had.” She mused, “Just like a water bed but wi’ more support!” She smiled brightly.

“And your better than any blanket I had since I was a foal.” I countered. I had shucked my gown waiting for the shower and I gathered her up and held her close for a somewhat damp kiss, then another…

I was uncomfortably close to flinging my inhibitions out the porthole when my stomach rumbled loud enough to make me blush!

Sunny giggled into my mouth then broke away. “Saved by th’ dinner bell.” She sighed and began rummaging her closet for clothes. “I’m doin’ me best t’ honor yer wishes, Dear, but ‘twould seem I’ve set meself up for a harder task than I reckoned. Ye’ll let me know th’ very instant ye’ve made up your mind, right? Now ye go ‘n shower while I see about gettin breakfast arranged. Scoot now!” She shooed me away and I took my shower, several degrees cooler than I liked!

She was finishing brushing up her mane when I returned, dressed in a pale brown skirt and silken yellow blouse with a lacy collar and half sleeves that showed off the feathering on her wrists. I put on dark slacks and a loose, blue top and let Alice brush my own mane. Breakfast, though I would have thought of it as brunch, was fried haycakes, muffins, apples and pears and cups of black breakfast tea served on elegant white china with genuine silverware that must have cost more than two month’s wages…even for a Commander!

Once she fully awake, Sunny was her bright and chipper self. She kept up a flow of small talk that centered around all the places she wanted me to see and ponies she wanted to introduce me to. It allowed me to pay the food the attention it deserved since all I needed to do was to make encouraging noises whenever she paused for breath. I was put just a little bit off by the presence of the filly in black and white who quietly kept the plates full. I’ve never been waited on before and it took a little getting used to.

I really hated to bring it up, but it would have been cruel not to. I cleared my throat deferentially and Sunny paused. “Um, look, Sunny this sounds like fun and all…” I took a breath and forged on. “But in just a few weeks I have a ship to catch. Should we be making, uh, long range plans?” The thought of having to leave her cast a gloom across my heart, but it was something we’d have to face.

Sunny, I could see, was putting a brave face on things. “All th’ more reason t’ make th’ best o’ what time we have, Dear.” She said softly. She reassumed her bantering tone after a second. “In a month’s time I’ll be aboard th’ Hermes an’ ye’ll be Goddesses know where…oh, dear! Did I say summat wrong?”

I’d dropped my laden fork with a clatter making a mess of the snowy-white tablecloth and eliciting an anguished look from the maid. I swallowed and tried to keep the quaver out of my voice.

“Say what now?” I managed. “What ship?” I was frantically going through the names of ships I knew, trying to remember if Starfleet had another Hermes on its roster.

Sunny knew something was up, her lavender eyes locked onto mine as she answered patiently. “Th’ Hermes, Dear. ‘ Tis in orbit right now …” She pointed straight up. “…Bein’ set up for travel. …Why?”

“Hermes NCC-585? The refitted Scout from the War? That Hermes?” I asked, wanting to be absolutely sure that I’d heard correctly.

“Aye, I s’pose ‘tis th’ one. I never bothered wi’ ship numbers. Why? D’ye know of it?” A slow, wonderful smile was lighting up her lovely face…

I leaned back in my chair and dropped my hooves into my lap. It creaked alarmingly but I was too numb to care! So help me, I couldn’t talk for a few seconds. I turned to look at Sunny and opened my mouth. Nothing came out. I swallowed and tried again, afraid that it somehow wouldn’t be true if I said it. “I’m your Science Officer!” I squeaked.

Sunny was positively radiant! “Sure an’ I’m yer Medical Officer! Oh, Starry!!!”

I never saw her coming! Before I knew it, she was in my lap and hugging me fiercely. It was too much for the chair which signaled it defeat by emitting a loud CRACK! I stood up, cradling the Alicorn that I love in my arms, feeling like I’d taken a direct hit by the Romulans. I shook my head slowly, wondering if this was a dream…

“I…I just don’t believe it!” I repeated again and again.

Sunny lifted her face from my neck and fixed my with her lovely eyes, damp with joyful tears.

“Starry, Love! ‘ Tis Fate, ye cannae argue wi’ Fate. Oh, thank ye, Celestia n’ Luna both!” She hugged me like she’d never let go again. I squeezed her to me, dazed but finally able to move again. I began to make my way back to the bedroom, stepping carefully. If this was a dream I didn’t want to jar myself awake.

Sunny lifted her head and wondered. “Where’re we off to, Lass?” As if she didn’t know!

“I need to lie down.” I said, solemnly. “And I don’t want to do it alone. I’m done trying to buck Fate! If I’m dreaming I want to make the most of it!” We headed down the hall and I had to bend my knees so Sunny could open the door as my hands were pleasantly full.

She let go with a war-whoop as we entered. Some sort of victory cry, I guess. Alicorns!

* * *

We would have been there the rest of the day had the Comm not chimed. As it turned out, we were taking a breather. Well… I was anyway, Sunny could have gone on far into the night! Then again, she knew what she was doing and I was just a newbie. Our clothes were, frankly, scattered all over the room and the covers were bunched up at the foot of the bed. I wasn’t tired as much as I was overwhelmed…yes, that’s the word! Sunny was sprawled on top of me again idly toying with my upper bits thereby keeping me from drifting off to sleep. I reciprocated by reaching under her tail and massaging her lower bits, thinking about how I would try doing that tongue thing she just showed me…

The Comm chimed three times before we noticed it. In all fairness I have to point out that the poor thing was buried under an untidy pile of discarded clothing that muffled it quite a bit, since it was mine and my clothes are, well, bigger!

Sunny frowned direfully at it and a shimmering white field of opalescent telekinesis (Alicorn and Unicorn ‘magic’ is actually a form of psi. …They just don’t want to admit it!) enveloped the clothing and moved it aside unceremoniously onto the floor. She rolled off me and reached for the console and I eeped and grabbed up a couple of pillows to cover myself with. Sunny, thoughtfully, blanked the pickup, though.

“This had better be good, Laddie!”

“Beg pardon, Mum.” Said the voice of Cedar. “But a call has come in from the local Police regarding Ms. Starry-Eye’s …predicament. I have them on hold, Mum.”

“Oh!” Sunny blinked. “Well switch them through then, and thank you, Cedar. Didn’t mean t’ snap, doncha know!” She waved me over to the Comm. Rather than risk the bed, which had been through enough already, I got up and circled around.

“Sure and don’t mention it, Little Lassie!” Cedar’s tone grew softer. “Here tha goes!” His voice was almost instantly replaced by a firmer, no-nonsense sort of voice.

“Is this Ms. Starry-Eyes?”

“Speaking.” I said in my best Officer tones.

“I need to verify your ID, ma’am. Can you enable your visual?”

“Hold one moment, please.” Sunny had already sprung into action, fetching my robe and draping it around my shoulders. She slipped into hers as I secured it, caught my eye and activated the pickup when I nodded.

The face of a dark brown Earth Pony with an incongruous apple-green mane wearing the uniform of a Sergeant of the Rodeodondo Beach Police Department flashed onto the screen. He quickly took in my appearance, his gaze roaming the room reflexively and taking in the, um, disarray without comment. Very professional. Sunny sat down next to me, patting her mane back into shape.

“Sorry to interrupt, Ladies.” He deadpanned. “I’m Sergeant Pounds of the RBPD. Ms. Starry-Eyes, would you state your name and rank please to establish your identity?”

“Certainly, Sergeant.” I waited a moment until he touched an offscreen button. He nodded to me. “ I am Commander Starry-Eyes of Starfleet, S-8-5-4-7-6-9-F-7-9-8-1-9-5. …Is that sufficient?”

Pounds regarded something off to the side for a moment then nodded slightly. “Turn in profile, please.” I did and he flicked his eyes to me, then offscreen again. He nodded more emphatically. “Yep, over ninety-nine percent match. Thank you, Commander.” He cracked a little smile. “Again, sorry to intrude. But we were given this comm-number to contact regarding your lost property.” I gave Sunny a look that just dimpled. Pounds continued, “We have someone here who, ah, found your belongings…” A note of sarcasm found its way into his voice. “…and turned them in this morning. We were wondering if you’d like to come down here and…thank him in person.” ‘Before we can arrest him.’ I finished in my head. Well, the legal niceties must be observed.

“I’ll be down at once. Thank you, Sergeant Pounds.”

“My pleasure, Ma’am. Have a good day.” He switched off and our screen went on stand-by.

“Sunny? Can I bother you for a ride? I think they caught my thief. …Back Home they’d call me in to give the little so-and-so a medium set of lumps and let me toss him out in the alley. What’s the protocol here?”

Sunny busied herself fetching a fresh pair of towels and took them to the bathroom. She’d slipped out of her robe again in preparation for another shower, distracting me from most of my thoughts of righteous revenge.

“Hmmm… Well, if it is yer thief he’ll be arrested for sure. Since we’re going t’ be on ship soon he might not come up for trial in time. I daresay they’ll record a statement from ye t’ use then. Then th’ poor Laddie will be shipped off t’ Prison. Should ye be wantin’ t’ press charges, ye ken.” She made a face like she’d tasted something sour.

“’Poor Laddie!?’ He robbed me! I hope they put him in a Penal Colony!” I fumed.

“Aye, robbin’ anypony tis bad enough. Th’ Courts really frown on messin’ wi’ Starfleet personnel, though. He’ll be a-getting th’ hard way t’ go, t’ be sure. Ye’ll be in yer Rights, sure enough.” Her voice was carefully neutral and she was scrupulously looking anywhere except right at me.

I just gaped at her! “Well I’m not about to congratulate the little slime! He’s gonna get what’s coming to him. I’m the victim here, damnit!” I would have stomped a hoof but I had a feeling I would have done the floor some real damage had I done so.

“As ye say. Well, let’s have a bit o’ a wash an’ get this over with, doncha know.” Sunny sad a little sadly. I was left with the distinct impression that I’d just lost some points with her. I shut my mouth and ground my teeth, refusing to feel guilty.

We both, in the interests of saving time, squeezed into the shower. It was a tight fit, but taking a shower with Sunny was fun (It’s nice having somepony scrub your, uh, back! ) and the both of us were feeling less resentful of the other by the time me got out. But a tension remained and Cedar took up to the Station in silence, each of us looking at the scenery and wrapped in our own thoughts.

Police Stations look pretty much the same on any world, it turned out. Not surprising, I guess. They aren’t intended as works of architectural art. They’re functional, limited-access facilities designed to hold prisoners and the administration that deals with them after all.

All the uniforms made it seem like being on a Ship. The windows were all sealed and could have been high-grade holographs for all I could tell. We saw a different Sergeant when we arrived and were escorted to a waiting room and offered coffee and tea. I sat on a flimsy chair and concentrated on not moving much. There were a couple of generic tablets on the table next to the seats and we amused ourselves scanning through Net entertainment services. I was about to ask Sunny what it was with the prevalence of Alicorn Video Stars when Sergeant Pounds came in . I blinked. Wow, he looked a lot taller on the Comm!

“Thanks for coming down, Ms. Starry-Eyes. Ma’am.” He nodded to Sunny who gave him a strained smile. “If you’d just follow me we can get this wrapped up in a jiffy, ok?” He held the door open for us. There was an embarrassing moment when I began to stand only to discover that my chair had clamped down onto my bottom. Pounds diplomatically looked elsewhere while Sunny tugged it off. I could tell that she was just aching to say something witty but the warning look in my eyes made her think better of it.

The Sergeant led up through corridors and down a short flight of stairs before holding another door open for us. I went in first, ducking my head momentarily to get inside. When I straightened up it was in a large room with a conference table surrounded by minimal chairs made of tube steel and orange plastic. I refused to even consider trying to sit on one. An officer stood to one side of the doorway at parade rest with his stun baton prominently displayed in easy reach. He was jadedly regarding the figure who sat at the table on the far side of us.

My eyes flicked to my shoulder bag sitting on the table then shot up an locked onto the figure sitting behind it. The orange-and-yellow Pony jumped in his seat and sat up straight when I came in. His eyes met mine and widened in alarm. The last time he‘d been this close to me I was thirsting for blood! He looked away quickly. Alice stepped up next to me and laid a hoof softly on my arm, saying nothing.

For my part I just stared. …Crap! He was just a friggin’ Colt, for Luna’s sake! Here in the heart of the Station he looked so small and skinny. I could stuff him in a cupcake cup with one hoof. Hell, just a couple of fingers would be enough! Against my better judgment, some of my rage sublimated away.

Pounds cleared his throat quietly. “This is Mr. Racer, Ms. Starry-Eyes. The ‘gentlepony’ who,” He ‘ahemed’ discretely, “…found your stuff and brought it in out of the goodness of his heart.” He ended, flatly. “He’s been here before.”

“Is that so?” I asked quietly. Then, to the Colt. “Where’d you find it, kid?”

Racer gulped and started. His voice was high and cracking. (Daddy would have observed that his balls hadn’t even dropped yet!) He hurried to get it all out.

“I found it outside one of the fences around the nudi-uh, private beach this morning. I looked around inside it, just to see if I could find an ID you understand! I-I found the Starfleet stuff and figgerd I should see you got it back.” He finally met my gaze. It was shaky, but he held it there by sheer guts.

“I had an Uncle and a Cousin die in the War…” He trailed off and looked down, miserably.

“Uh-huh.” Said Pounds. “So, what do you think, Commander? Is this the Pony took your stuff?”

Ok. The Law was on my side. All I had to do was give the word and this…Colt…would go to Prison, he looked just old enough to be charged as an adult. …And do what? Learn how to be a better criminal at the hooves of real pros?

When I was just a filly I once saw a documentary about how the brain works. The makers had likened its function to a little pony sitting in a control room inside the head. The image stuck with me for the rest of my life. It always pleased me to imagine a little Me in the control room. When I joined Starfleet that control room became a Bridge and the little Me sat in the Captain’s Chair, Just then The little Mare at the Bridge in my head read a display and facehoofed! Oh you are NOT gonna let him go!

But I’m Starfleet. We’re not Police, though our job can call on us to make judgment calls where whole worlds are at stake. The letter of the law is one thing…but Ponies, not statistics in a database but real by-Luna Ponies…are another. Everypony gets one chance. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath. I let it out and shook my head slowly in negation and bemusement of myself.

“Lotsa orange Ponies out there. Lotsa yellow manes, Sergeant. The one that took my stuff was …older.”

The cop at the door quirked an eyebrow but held his peace. Pounds gave me a long, searching look.

“You’re sure about that, Commander?” Yeah, he’d seen it all. I’ve seen a lot, too. I just had a different vantage point.

“Yes. Quite sure, as a matter of fact.” I looked back at him levelly.

He nodded wearily with a ‘hope-you-know-what-you’re doing’ expression on his face. “All right, then. Just take your stuff to the desk and sign a receipt. Kid, you must have a four-leaf clover as a Cutie Mark! You’re free to go. Just remember, this kind of luck is a once in a lifetime sort of thing. You’d better thank this Mare every day for the rest of your life.” He gave Racer a hard look then turned a more speculative one on me but held his silence.

I didn’t have to explain myself. But I felt I should say something.

“We fought the War for Everypony. Not just the ones we like. Every Pony. Hell, If Starfleet can cut the Romulans some slack how can I treat one of our own any differently?”

Pounds chewed that over for a few seconds. “Yeah. Well, all I’m going to say is that…” He looked me up and down, on the verge, I’m sure, about saying something about the way Augments do things. I turned toward him, fully intending to loom over him the way I did. He stood his ground, looking up fearlessly at me. “…Starfleet can afford to cut slack. Me, I’m doing what I can here. Hope you’re right.” He held the door for us and didn’t say a single word again.

Fair enough. I gathered up my bag and slung it over my shoulder, wrinkling the hell out of my new outfit but not caring a damn bit. Racer tagged along behind us at a discrete distance. Sunny gave my arm a squeeze and didn’t let go until we were outside. Only then did I notice that she was positively beaming!

“Uh, hey.” Racer hung back until we started making out way to Cedar and the waiting chariot. It was obvious, when I turned to look at him, that he had something he wanted to say. I regarded him coolly. The colt shuffled nervously. “I just wanted to say…thanks. And …I’m sorry for, uh…”

“Robbing me?” I speared him with my eyes until he writhed. I sighed after a moment. “Look, I can’t forgive you for that but what’s done is done. If you’re really sorry just Don’t Do It Again, got me?” Ok, so I’m not one to hold a grudge. I looked at him again and took in the disheveled clothing and the general air of shabbiness about him. “You got a job…Racer? Or is this what you do for a living?” He began to stammer something but I cut him off. “Forget it, none of my business. Give me your chip for a minute, ok?” He fumbled his out of a pocket and I docked it with mine. I transferred three hundred credits into it. Hell, Sunny spent way more than that on me already. “Look,” I said. “A lot of Ponies and Allies died to keep all this…” I waved a hoof at the City around us. “… around. I took a gamble just now thinking you’re better than what you are. I like to think that I’m right. Make a liar out of Pounds and clean up your act. In a couple of years you can join United Earth or even try for Starfleet. Make it worth all those lives, ok?” He took the chip back numbly and didn’t say a word. Teenage bravado fought against something even more primal in his eyes. I was this close to giving him a hug, I swear!

Sunny cleared her throat delicately and opened her handbag. “In th’ meantime, in th’ interest o’ keepin’ body n’ soul together, doncha know, ’tis me understandin’ that there’s a position available for a deckhand over at Harbor. ‘ Tisn’t much but it offers room n’ board in addition t’ modest wage. Ye should give a call as soon as possible. Dinna ken how long positions open an’ ‘twould be shame t’ pass up a chance like this fer a deservin’ Laddie like yerself.” She gave him a card and gave him a double dose of Lavender encouragement. Poor kid never stood a chance…

Racer took the card moving like he was having a paranormal experience. Maybe he was. I don’t know what sort of life the colt had up to that point but I didn’t doubt for a nanosecond that nopony had ever shown him such unsolicited kindness before. I gave him a handout, Sunny gave him a job. Together we gave a colt a chance.

I did give him a hug then and held him there for a quivering moment. Sunny laid a hoof on his shoulder. He gave a sort of muffled sob and clung there, his hooves around me as far as he could reach. Silently he broke away, not quite staggering down the street. He looked back once as if the reassure himself that it all really happened. We watched him go until he turned a corner.

“Are we nuts or what?“ I wondered aloud.

“Aye, well ‘tis a wholesome enough insanity.” She tugged me down and gave me a kiss. “I am so proud o’ ye, Starry, lass! Ye’ll make a bonnie sort of mother some day!”

I rolled my eyes. “Uh-huh. If you haven’t noticed by now,” I gave her a poke in the ribs. “My inclinations don’t make that a possibility. The job was a nice touch. Good idea!”

“Och! ‘ T’was a small enough kindness. “Captain Bollard can always use another hand ‘round boat. Which reminds me, I have t’ make call t’ him!” She got out her comm and made the arrangements as we walked to the chariot. Cedar be damned, I held the door for her when she got in.

How can you not love somepony like that?

Chapter Eighteen- ...And Faery Makes Three!

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

…AND FAERY MAKES THREE!

Sunny came back with a couple portions of dandelion-rice casserole, steamed carrots, and a pair of cookies for dessert. I wasn’t particularly hungry and left most of mine for our new roommate. Just for the record, I didn’t even touch the cookie. Sunny herself only managed a few bites, eschewing her own cookie, before going to bed.

Because I keep the room so warm she runs a small fan at night, a habit she got into when she was a foal. Living as she did in fallout shelters during her formative years she became acclimated to the sound of the air recycling systems blowing. Now she can’t get to sleep without listening to it. I could understand the habit. I have an Aunt who wears eye-covers at night to this very day. Oh, well, the white noise is rather soothing…

She gets by with just a sheet. I keep the blanket on my side of the bed, hardly necessary since Sunny invariably ends up sleeping more onto rather than next to me by morning and she makes an excellent, exquisitely snuggly blanket. Me, I sleep on my back and never stir. No need to since I lay so lightly, compared to Home, on the mattress that I never have to find a more comfortable position. I tucked Tyllae away in my cleavage, I didn’t have the heart to make her sleep somewhere else, (Creating an unintentional precedent, it turned out!) and pulled the blanket up snugly. Sunny was quite correct, Tyllae slept like, well, if not a log, then a toothpick. (We don’t have trees on Equestris but I’m told they sleep soundly. Someday I’ll have to brush up on my xenobotany. They sound like fascinating plants!)

I woke up because I was being prodded in the mammary. Fuzzily, I thought it was Sunny who isn’t above giving me a grope or two in her sleep. (Alicorns!) But this groping was distinctly damp… and warm! I cracked an eye open and saw our littlest houseguest hard at work scrubbing me down with a washcloth. She apparently had ponyhandled the thing out of the bathroom after she wet one end and set out to indulge in a little housework. She worked the cloth diligently with and against the grain with her hooves, whipped it away quickly to inspect her progress, then applied the dry half. She paused, cocking her head back and forth, seemingly pleased with the results. It was at that point she noticed me.

“Hi-hiii!” She waved and whispered. “Tyllae was cleaning Starry up. Tyllae made Starry all messy when Tyllae was all sobby.” She flitted up to give my muzzle a hug. “Tyllae wants to thank Starry for being so nice! ” She positively beamed at me. “Starry even sang to Tyllae like Tyllae’s Momma used to! Starry is a very, very, very Good Pony! ” She administered a brace of little kisses as a bonus.

“That’s all right, short stuff! ” I kissed a fingertip and applied it to the side of her elfin face, making the adorable little mite giggle! I stretched a little and turned to look at the tray Sunny brought back. “Did you get anything to… oh, you did.”

The majority of the casserole was gone, the carrots had sustained major damage, and both cookies had vanished. Now that I was more fully awake I noticed a noticeable bulge in the little Fey’s tummy.

“Yes, yes, yes! Tyllae found the food when Tyllae woke up. It was very, very, very good.” She sat in mid-air and rubbed her bulging stomach with both fore hooves. “Tyllae left some for Sunny an Starry… ’cept for the cookies. Tyllae kinda ate both of those. Tyllae is sorry.” She became very somber and resolute as she prepared to make a Major Sacrifice. “Nex time Tyllae gets cookies, Starry can have Tyllae’s. Tyllae promises!” She sketched another ‘x’ in front of her chest again.

I squelched an urge to chuckle. “That’s all right, kiddo. I’ve got a feeling you burn a lot more calories a lot quicker than I do anyway!” I wriggled aside, easing Sunny’s head down onto the pillows as I slid out of bed. She merfed and stirred but never woke.

“Oh, yes!” Tyllae nodded sagely. “Tyllae does! …Wassa ‘kal-o-ree’, Starry?”

I did chuckle at that point, then frowned as something scratchy sifted down from between my breasts as I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. Tyllae had apparently had her dessert in ‘bed’. I cocked an eye at her.

“Ehhehe!” The mite grinned sheepishly. “Tyllae is not done cleaning up yet. Hold still! Tyllae will fix!” She zipped down and grabbed the washcloth in her teeth and flitted a beeline (Do bees really make lines? And, if so, why? Xenobilogy will have to be added to my list of things to do someday!) for my bust.

I waved her off, that washcloth was bound to be cold by now! “Don’t worry about it, Tyll! I take a shower every morning at this time anyway. But… “ I leveled a finger at her. “ For future reference we don’t eat in bed! Well…” I rolled my eyes away. “Not cookies, anyway…” Sunny sometimes saved pudding or chocolate sauce to have ‘dessert’ later. Ok I know I’m an uncultured Mare from Equestris but, ... Alicorns!

Tyllae covered a giggle with both forehooves! “Tyllae has seen what Starry and Sunny eat inna bed before!”

“Hay!” I gave her as severe a glare as my embarrassment would allow. “And no more watching us when we want to be alone!”

“Awww! But Starry looks sooo cute when Starry makes that face when Starry…”

I growled and made a grab for the little mite who evaded me easily. She flitted up and gave my neck a teeny hug, laughing.

“Starry can’t fool Tyllae! Tyllae knows Starry isn’t mean!” She backed away to where I could see her. “Tyllae promises to be good! Tyllae won’t looky-look any more! Tyllae promises!” She crossed her heart again, then giggled. “But Starry does not need to be so embarrassed. Starry just needs more practice at having sexy-fun! Don’t worry! Starry will get better at it! Sunny is a good teacher!”

“Waitaminnet! What’s wrong with the way…” I glanced around anxiously and lowered my voice even more. “With the way I have sex? …And what the Hell do you know about sex anyway?”

“Silly Starry! Faeries happen the same way Ponies do! Tyllae is not a foal. …Tyllae had a foal once. Tyllae hopes little Dendi is still safe.” After seeing how Past and Present were so much one and the same for the little Fey I was worried that she was going to relive another unpleasant episode. Thankfully, I was wrong. The little mite shook herself and picked up where she left off. “Starry had lots of energy but needs more work on style! Like Tyllae said, stick with Sunny an Starry will get better!”

“Hay! I admit I’m not the most talented lover but I never heard Sunny complain!”

“ ‘Course not! Sunny loves Starry very, very, VERY much!” Tyllae flitted up to give me a little punch on the shoulder. “Tyllae never said Starry was a bad lover, just needs more practice. Starry should not be so sensitive!” She perched herself high up on my shoulder, worked her way through my mane and gave my ear a nuzzle.

“Yeah, well, I’m going to get a shower in. Then we’ll go to breakfast so we can break the news about you to the Captain and everypony else.” I headed for the bathroom, snagging a washcloth and towel on the way. I heard the little mite clap her hooves together excitedly.

“Yay! Tyllae gets to eat again!” In a different room the little thing didn’t think it was necessary to keep her voice down anymore. “This is why Faeries like to live with nice Ponies so much. Ponies grow an make food that Faeries have to work so much harder for.”

I cocked a skeptical eye even though I knew she wasn’t in a position to see it. “So you and yours would just swoop in at night and eat what they cooked? That’s not exactly what I would call a symbiotic relationship.”

Tyllae zipped out in front of me suddenly, to defend Faery Honor, no doubt. “No, no, no!” She waved both forehooves and shook her head so that her rose-petal mane waved! “Faeries are not mean! Faeries help! Faeries keep mices an’ rats out of pantries. Keep nasty spiders outa house! Fix cracked jugs an’ plates an’ windows, too! Faeries keep watch on foals playing in forest an’ heal poor sick farm animals! Faeries find hard-to-find herbs in deep woods in places only Faeries know an’ bring back to Ponies to make medicines. Faeries help watch over crops an’ keep crows an’ gophers an’ bunnies an’ deers from taking too much away from poor, hard-working Farm Ponies! Faeries do all sortsa things! In return, nice Ponies would make food an’ leave for Faeries to eat. Good food! Fresh bread an’ yummy butter an’ jam an’ jelly! Hot soup on cold, cold days! An’ pies an’ cakes an’ cookies, too! No more nuts an’ little berries an’ raw vegibles anymore. Nuh-uh! An’ nice Ponies would let Faeries stay in house all snug an’ warm an’ dry alla year long! Faeries work very, very, very hard for nice Ponies! …An’ no fair using big words Tyllae does not know! Wassa ‘sim-bee-ot-ick‘?”

All that in the time it took me to pick up soap, cross the bathroom and draw back the shower curtain! I stepped into stall. (A snug fit for me, but Sunny can always find a way to make room for herself, too!)

“Is that what you were doing for Bob? Didn’t seem like you were ‘helping’ much. …And ‘symbiotic‘ means working together for the benefit of all. ” I wasn’t being mean. I was being stern. There’s a difference!

Tyllae drooped a little in mid-air and looked troubled. “Tyllae tried to help! But Tyllae could not find much to do. Tyllae has not seen even one itty-bitty bug since Tyllae came here. Tyllae thinks this must be a very, very, very new an’ big house! Tyllae did help keep aprons all clean an’ tried to make things all neat.” She frowned. “But Bob an’ other Ponies were always cleaning. An’ when a bowl or plate cracked or chipped they would put in little box inna wall an’ it would just go away before Tyllae could get to it! New stuff would come in another box. Very, very, very strange kinda magic Tyllae has never seen before!”

I stopped in the act of drawing the shower curtain, startled. “Good Luna, kid! That ‘box’ was a recycler! If you got in there at the wrong moment you’d be just so many quantum bits in matter storage and came back as a napkin or a plate! The other is the replicator. One takes things apart and the other makes new things. It’s not magic, it’s technology.” I explained, stifling a chuckle at the look on the Fey’s face.

“… Eeep!” She squeaked. “Tyllae would have been safer hiding inna oven!” Then she looked thoughtful. “Tyllae wondered why Tyllae never saw anypony washing dishes…”

“And that’s another thing!” I draped the towel over the top of the curtain. “Why were you hiding? You could have come to Bob and offered to help for food. You’re so damn cute he would’ve given you something to eat just on general principles. For that matter…” The thought just occurred to me. “Why didn’t you tell Sunny or me you were here? And why didn’t we ever notice you weren’t sitting on the table?”

The little mite looked scandalized! “ ‘Cause that would be against Faery rules! Faeries must never been seen! Faeries get eaten if Faeries get seen! Faeries hide to be safe!”

“And who, pray tell, came up with that rule?” I gave the hovering runt a look.

Tyllae opened her little mouth then shut it again. “Is just… the way it always was. Tyllae does not make rules, Tyllae just does as Tyllae’s Mommy an’ Daddy taught! Like Mommy an’ Daddy learned from parents. So there!” She crossed her forelegs defensively.

“New time, new rules, kiddo! I can personally guarantee that nopony on this ship is interested in making a Faery sandwich! You’ll be safer if ponies know where you are. Remember the recycler!” I paused, reaching for the shower knobs. “Uh, you’re going to get awful wet if you hang around in here. I’m going to wash.”

Tyllae peered at the walls suspiciously, giving the shower knobs a distrustful look. “How gonna do that? Tyllae does not see a tub… or does Starry have a box that will make a bowl of water in here? … A big bowl!” She amended.

“Not all of us can take a bath in a measuring cup.” I hooked a thumb up at the shower head on the ceiling. “I never said I was going to take a bath, I’m taking a shower.” I explained patiently, then waited for her to leave. And waited…

“… You aren’t going to leave, aren’t you, you little pervert” I sighed, already knowing the answer.

“Whyfor Tyllae wanna leave Starry? Tyllae loves Starry! ‘Sides, Tyllae wanna see how ‘show-wer’ thing works! Tyllae must learn these things so Tyllae does not get ‘ree-sy-killed’! ” She flitted up to one side of the showerhead and waited. Then she looked back down at me and tilted her elfin head. “… And wassa ‘per-vert’?”

“Short for ‘Curious Faery’ .” I set the temperature for a nice, warm Equestrin shower. It would have made Sunny yelp, but she wasn’t here this time! And I had the distinct impression it would be right up the little Fey’s alley.

Tyllae looked around as the exhaust fans purred to life then pranced back as the water sprayed out and the steam rose. While I worked the shampoo into my mane she stuck a tentative hoof into the stream and gave a delighted whoop!

“Warm! Warmwarmwarm!” She launched herself into the cascade and cavorted in a splashy circle ‘round my head. I couldn’t help laughing. “Starry!” She hove to just off my muzzle and waved her hooves at the falling water in open amazement and delight. “Thissa wonderful idea! Just like a waterfall, but so warm! Tyllae likes! Wheee!” I watched her zoom off to play in the droplets as I rinsed my mane and soaped up.

I wondered how fair it was to apply Pony notions of maturity to something like a Faery. She seemed to act like just a foal, most of the time, but how much of that was just plain innocence? And she, herself, claimed to have borne a foal! How old is Tyllae… and how odd would I seem to a civilization of Faeries? My musings were cut short as Tyllae, who had found the soap, flitted up just beyond the spray looking like a foamy parasprite!

I scooped up the giggling suds-ball gave her a good rinse then turned her loose to cavort in the warm waters as I rinsed myself off. Later, Tyllae didn’t need a towel to dry. She soared and kited in the warm air draft on the platform just outside the shower. I scrubbed myself down and stood in front of the mirror brushing out my mane.

Tyllae’s mane and tail had turned into wild poof-balls. My manebrush was more of a full-body scratching-post for the little Fey so, on an inspiration, I called up a soft toothbrush from the synthesizer and did a passable job of making her presentable. She seemed to enjoy it, admiring herself in the mirror as I worked so much like Sunny I just had to smile! As a piece de resistance I gave her a dab of perfume after I’d put some on. It was Equestrin and the little tyke frowned as she fluttered her wings, trying to place the fragrance.

“When Sunny has perfumy it smells lika flowers!” She declared. “Wassa this? Tyllae cannot tell for sure…” She fanned her wings and sniffed again. “Smells kina like some … herb?” She cocked her head at me in the mirror.

“Close!” I scritched her tummy and sent her into wriggling giggles. “We don’t have flowers on Equestris. We hardly have any real sort of plants at all. The Colonists didn’t have room on the ship for flowers. They brought grain and some fruit trees instead. Oh, they had some roses… but they never had much smell to them after a few generations. What we’re wearing is a synthetic based on sandalwood oil and an Equestrin moss. Quite the popular fragrance back Home! How do you like it?”

“Um….” The little Fey turned her eyes away, trying to be diplomatic. Then she brightened when she found a way out. “… Tyllae smells better than any moss Tyllae has seen before an thassa fact!”

I laughed. “It’s ok, Squirt. I would have used some of Sunny’s but some of that stuff costs two hundred credits for just a sniff! I wouldn’t have felt right giving it away without asking her first. If it’s any consolation though…” I leaned in and gave her a sniff. “I think you smell just fine!”

The little mite beamed! “If Starry thinks so then that’s good enough for Tyllae! Tyllae will be happy to smell like sumpin’ growing onna tree!” The little sycophant declared brightly.

I shook my head. “Come on, you little suck-up! Let’s get Sunny out of bed. You don’t want to miss breakfast, do you?”

Tyllae zoomed out of the room at Time Warp Three!

Sunny, by now, was sprawled face down over the covers hugging my pillow while wearing hers jammed over the top of her head her horn pointed out at ten o' clock. Before I could say anything the industrious Fey had launched herself through the air and onto her bottom, prancing from cheek to cheek caroling, “Wakey-wake, Sunny! Time for brekkist!” My Love wriggled in annoyance and flailed her tail at the evasive Tyllae!

“I’m up! I’m up! Gerroff me, ye lil’ flibbertigibbet!” She pulled the pillow off her face and yawned, working her mouth and looking around blearily. She stretched and sat up, her mane hanging in glorious disarray all around her face as Tyllae came in for a landing on her knee and waved!

“Och! ‘ Tis yourself, is it?” She paused to yawn a truly awesome yawn. “Celestia presairve me! Another bloody morning Pony!” She smiled sleepily as she said it, though, and gave the little Fey a pat to show no hard feelings. “What’s the bloody time?” She wondered. I swear! The same question every morning!

“Time to get moving, sleepy bones!” I gave her the same answer I gave her every morning. “Come on! Up and at ‘em! Hup, hup, hup! Hubba-hubba one time! Time and tritium wait for no Pony!”

Sunny heaved herself into a standing position and scratched her head muzzily. “Bugger th’ bloody tritium!” She growled. “An’ I got yer bloody hubba-hubba right here!” She smacked herself on the rump as shambled off like a zombie pony I saw in one of her old 'entertainment' shows toward the shower. I stopped her long enough to collect my first kiss of the day. Just for the record, like every morning, there were no hard feelings there either!

I made the bed up, keeping one ear cocked till I heard the shower running. (Sunny, once in a while will fall back to sleep on the toilet! So many things My Darling is, but she is not a morning pony!) Tyllae insisted on helping, grabbing one corner of the sheet and blanket in her teeth in turn and flapping backwards with all the Faerypower at her disposal. By the time I finished dressing she had settled down onto my pillow and composed herself for a nap.

I sat at the computer terminal and reviewed what was going on in my Department that day purely out of reflex. My mind was on what would happen when I revealed the existence of Tyllae to everypony. I mean, it isn’t as if Faeries were a recognized species in the Federation database! What would be her status, animal or person? Citizen or alien? We only had her word on it that she indeed came from Earth, after all. Intellectually I realized that it was just possible that she was, in fact, some bizarre alien lifeform playing on my maternal instincts for her benefit…

The Mare in my head raised a severe eyebrow at me as the line of reasoning scrolled across her screen. She reminded me that those were real tears and real fear trembling against me last night. And where could an alien have learned so much archaic Equestrian history? Why bother constructing an excuse to say on such esoteric terms? Surely it would have been just as easy to say she was an alien in the first place instead of going through this kind of song and dance!

I half-turned and checked on the snoozing little mite. She looked about as dangerous as a cupcake. She was cute, damnably cute as a matter of fact, but that wasn’t a crime. Every instinct I had told me that she was sincere. Just a lost and frightened little soul who got caught up in the devious machinations of others who didn’t even know she was there. The only thing Tyllae was guilty of was poaching food. Even then she stopped and even turned herself in when she thought she’d be making everypony else starve! I’d be damned if I’d let anypony toss her in the Brig… or a cage… just for that! If she had to be confined I vowed I’d confine her to the Science Department and let her have the run of the place. I was certain Sunny would do the same offering Medical. If worse came to worse I could push for confining her to our quarters…

I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose. Daddy… and Sunny… tell me that I worry too much. Maybe I was working myself up for nothing...

But there were the implications she represented as a living, breathing witness to things that were little more than legends nowadays! Somepony who actually saw Celestia, talked with Luna, and suffered at the hooves of Nightmare Moon! This one little being could rewrite modern history and heal a schism that had been a sore spot with Ponykind for centuries. …It was just possible that Tyllae would be the greatest discovery of our entire voyage! I wondered how they would take the news on Equestris? Or in the rest of the Federation!

I took a moment to compose my thoughts and turned back to the console. I sent a message to Stimbolt and Dazzle to join us in the Wardroom for breakfast. They were there when Tyllae was found so I figured they should be among the first there to hear this. After a moment I sent another one to Xantippe. After all the mystery of the Phantom Snacker was tied up in this, too.

At least Tyllae would still have an appetite…

Sunny came back in eventually, fully awake and back to her… well, Sunny, self. I collected my second kiss of the day, a much more sincere and better tasting one than the first!

“Oh sure! I hae t’ get up while t’ little monster gets t’ sleep!” She whispered. “Well… all wee things needs lots o’ sleep, don’t they? Look at little thing, will ye no?” She gave me a little dig. “Ye should look so cute when ye sleep!”

I rolled my eyes off to the side. “At least she doesn’t snore!’

I collected my first bop on the head with a manebrush for the day. “Wag a civil tongue in yer noggin, wench! …I’ll show ye where t’ wag it later on!” She became more serious as she turned to me. “What’s t’ become o’ her d’ye ken?”

“I’m hoping for the best.” I tried to sound more confident than I felt.

“Aye, well, let’s no be borrowin’ trouble then. If they want t’ lock her up I’ll keep th’ wee one wi’ me in Sickbay! Sure n’ she’ll be a great help for recoverin’ patients… should we be a-gettin any, ye ken.”

I chuckled and patted her hoof. “I was thinking the same thing, only for the Science Department. Great minds do think alike, don’t they?”

Sunny buffed one hoof against her chest and paused a moment to inspect the shine. “Aye! I knew I’d be a-rubbin’ off on ye sooner r’ later!”

I fetched her a swat to her bottom that made her jump. (Why should Tyllae have all the fun?) “Get dressed already and let’s get this over with!”

Author's Note

What becomes of Tyllae now? Starry's observations regarding the implications of the little Fey are just the sort of morality play that was the bread-and-apple butter of TOS. How benevolent are Ponies after twenty-two centuries of hard lessons without the sheltering wings of the Goddesses (To coin Kkats term!) to shelter under? Tune in next time, True Believers!

(Oh I have JUST got to lay off soo much Pepsi Max before turning myself loose on a keyboard!) ;)

Chapter Thirty Four- Who Mourns for Discord?

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

WHO MOURNS FOR DISCORD?

The False Admiral sneered and waggled his crystal rod at us. He snapped his fingers and Discord dropped the disguise, standing before us all in his Chaotic Glory!

“Did you really think I wouldn’t be able to notice your truly feeble attempt to get a message off to your precious Starfleet? You’re all so perfectly predictable! I’d hoped giving you hands would have made you just a little bit cleverer.” He shrugged, flipping the crystal from one paw to another. He seemed to forget about us for a moment, using the tuft of hair on his practically prehensile tail to dust the Pilot’s head like shi was a curio on a bookshelf. He smiled, pleased with his efforts, before giving us a sly look out of the corners of his maniacs eyes.

“That was my idea, don’t you know? One of my proudest moments!” He struck a heroic pose as unseen flashbulbs popped and a shower of confetti settled over him and the deck. In a literal flash he stood right before us, leaning in and gathering us into a huddle with his mismatched arms. He peered into each of our faces in turn as he went on.

“The ‘good and noble’…” He made air quotes, rolling his mad eyes. “Celestia just wanted to up and leave you all alone just the way you were…she always could be so stodgy in her way of thinking… and let you muddle through on your own. But I was sooo good.” Air quotes. “Sooo helpful.” Even more of them. “I stepped in on your side. I was your friend, Ponies! I saw how hard it was for all of you struggling to do the simplest tasks. I mean, really now! Swinging hammers, using wrenches, with your mouths? Yech!” He made a spitting-a-rotten-apple-out-of-your-mouth face! “I saved you from all that! I begged Celestia to give you that Last Gift… and she let me!” He chuckled like duranium ore tumbling down a chute.

“What?” Sunny was shocked to her core!

He was at her side in a blue flash, decked out suddenly in a ridiculous kilt decorated with multicolored squares. He wore a parody of Amber Rose’s jacket and had a silly little flat hat jammed on top of his head with a bobbing little poof on it. A ridiculous triple-chin lock dangled from under his mouth that fluttered like a flag every time he spoke.

“That’s rrright, Prrretty Prrrincess!” He made it a point to make his false Byrish accent as annoying as possible. “D’ye ken tha’ th’ High n’ Mighty Celestia could pull off sich a grrrand bit o’ Magic all by herrrself? Nay, Lllassie! T’was farrr n’ away beyond th’ likes o’ Her Llladyship, Grrrand old thing that she is! Hoot n’ begorrah!” He nudged Sunny with one elbow, leering into her eyes.

“Cut it out, Discord!” I snapped. “Besides, I thought you said she was dead!”

‘Admiral Quicksilver’ loomed over me one flash of light later, chucking me under the chin with that cold crystal wand.

“Mind your manners, Cadet!” He said softly, his eyes poised to strike like claws. He flipped the thing under his arm and strode away a few paces before whirling on me, practically spitting with rage!

“As far as your concerned she is! They all are!” He said, bitterly. “ You’ll never see them alive! Your whole, stupid quest is pointless!”

I regarded him coolly. In the presence of the Devil of Equestria it pays to be circumspect!

“We have evidence to the contrary.” I pointed out. “And, given your track record, I’m not inclined to take your word for anything.”

His rage evaporated in an instant. He chuckled slyly and began to step back toward me. Dazzle’s gun came up at once.

“That’s far enough, psycho!” She barked. “Make another move and I’ll be flushing your pink ashes down the nearest toilet!” With her thumb she switched her rifle to full power, her cold eyes never leaving the form of Admiral Quicksilver. She paid especially close attention to his hands… and the crystal baton!

Discord reverted to his normal self. The Dracoequitaur reared up and blinked at Dazzle with a smile on his face and a preposterous ten-gallon hat perched between his horns!

“Y’all got the drop on me, Pard!” He drawled in a corny Appleoosan accent. “Reckon it’s time fer the Last Roundup!” He plucked the hat from his head and posed with it over his breast, his eyes cast tragically toward a clock tower that sprang up off to the side. Both hands pointed straight up as it tolled its way through all twelve bongs. None of us moved.

I never saw it happen, but suddenly there was a smoldering cigar butt in Discords mouth! He worked it from one side of his mouth to the other while he slowly turned his head toward Dazzle. When he spoke his voice had become low and gravelly.

“Well.” He rasped. “Ya gonna shoot that dog-leg or whistle Dixie?” His eyes bored into hers. “Do you feel lucky, Punk? Do ya?” He took on deliberate step toward her…

Dazzle didn’t flinch. She squeezed the trigger and the phased-balefire rifle trilled its deep-throated song of destruction!

The brilliant blue beam caught him square in the middle of his chest and his entire being glowed as the nadion stream strove to sever the Strong Force binding his very molecules together. The green Balefire raged around him, trying to arcanely consume those same molecules down to the last quark and lepton!

I took a step back, trying to shield both Sunny and Stimbolt with my body. At this range and intensity there was a real danger of balefire spillage. Dazzle wasn’t taking any chances!

She kept him in the beam for five long seconds, the trilling rising in pitch slowly until she was in danger of overloading the gun. She snarled at the impossibly intact form before her silently as she switched off, her eyes trying to do what the balefire couldn’t!

Discord admired his radiant self as the Witchfire danced on and clawed at him impotently.

“Hmm.” He mused. “Not unlike a Crystal Pony, wouldn’t you say? Pity about them! But that wasn’t my doing, that was all on you people!” He began twirling the balefire up on the claw of one finger like it was cotton candy until it was concentrated in a roiling ball. He contemplated it for a moment, poking it here and there with his crystal as stray bits threatened to spin loose. His tail came up and the scraggly tuft on the end snapped exactly like a pair of fingers! A glass materialized, hovering in front of him obediently. He tossed the balefire into it and poured it into his mouth. He tilted his head back and gargled with the stuff, waggling his eyebrows at us lewdly all the time! Mouth full, he looked around for a place to spit it out. His eyes fell on Dazzle with malevolent glee…

He expectorated the whole thing out in a disgusting, green-glowing blob that struck the balefire rifle squarely! Dazzle didn’t have time to react. The rifle went up in a nimbus of plasma, Dazzle went down with flickers of Witchfire licking her body! She didn’t scream, though she did make a choked, snarling sound as she slapped futilely at the green flames!

Sunny darted to her side, her horn lighting up with a balefire-dampening spell and her hands tearing open her bag. Discord conjured up a napkin and wiped his mouth delicately, indifferent to the display.

I stepped up, placing myself between Dazzle and Discord. I didn’t ball my fists though I dropped into a combat stance. Every fiber of my being flared with the desire to rip the smug right off that smirking face and cram it down the bleeding stump of his neck! It took all the Augmentation at my command to keep my voice level…

“All right! You proved we can’t hurt you! Leave my Ponies alone, you gene-addled Defective! I was the one who figured out how to get the message past your Magic. It was my responsibility. Take out your petty wrath on me but leave these Ponies alone!”

Discord regarded mockingly. “Well…” His head changed into one of a pretty orange and blonde Mare with half-a-dozen red freckles adorning her cheeks. She wore a cowpony hat and who she was supposed to be was a complete mystery to me! “Aren’t you the honest one?” ‘She’ shook ‘her’ head, morphing back to its asymmetric, wild-eyed self! I refused to be impressed or intimidated!

“Do you spend all your time impersonating others because you can’t stand yourself?” I strained my ears backwards to get some idea of how Dazzle was doing. I could hear strained gasps and could make out the bitter smell of charred clothing… and fur.

Discord laughed!

“Oh, don’t try to get inside my head, Starry-Eyes!” His own eyes blossomed with exaggerated stars for pupils as he leant over and put a paw over my shoulder, drawing close. His head expanded like a balloon until it popped. “There’s nothing there!” His voice echoed from all around as I recoiled from the sight.

He blinked out from beside me to reappear next to Stimbolt who jumped and gave me a desperate look.

“You don’t say much, do you?” He poked the Middie in the middle with a claw. He flinched then drew himself up resolutely. When he tried to speak all the poor buck could manage was a weak squeak. He drew a ragged breath and tried again.

“I’m sorry.” He stated with a nervous shrug. “I’ve never met a god before.” He gave me a wan smile.

“And you haven’t yet!” I glared at Discord. “There’s nothing Divine about him. He’s as alien as a Tellarite… and Magical as an Alicorn, to boot!”

“Now look who’s calling whom an Alien!” Discord patted Stimbolt on the shoulder companionably and bent his head down next to his. “Ask her what planet she comes from! ‘Alien’, indeed! …She certainly throws her weight around a lot, doesn’t she?” He gave the hapless Middie a dig with an elbow. “Then again, she certainly has a lot of weight to throw around!” He chuckled and tipped him a wink.

“At least I don’t look like I’m cobbled together from leftovers.” I said defensively, a pang of embarrassment making me blush. He certainly knew what buttons to push, damn him! I wished I could take that damn crystal and whack him over the head with it… repeatedly!

“You’re just jealous!” He stuck an improbably long tongue out at me… which sprouted a small tongue of its own that gave me a miniature raspberry! Goddesses! I HATED this clown!

“If you were to ask me…” He flashed back to where I stood. “You’re the one with the image problem, not me! I’m happy being who I am! Poor old Starry-Eyes…” He patted my head and gave me a pityingly look. …I HATE being patronized! “ You’re personality is constantly at odds with your physical predicament, isn’t it?” While Discord’s back was turned, Stimbolt began quietly working on the Gorn’s board. The Mare in my head wondered what he was up to, but the looming presence next to me drew her attention right back.

“Trust me!” Discord wrapped an arm around my shoulder and threw out the other in a dramatic gesture. “I know what it’s like being stuck in a form that doesn’t suit one’s self! You could say it’s a heavy burden to bear!” He brought one paw to his brow melodramatically! His voice dripped bitterness in another one-hundred-eighty degree shift .“Like a stone around ones neck!”.

He switched again in an instant as he came to stare into my face muzzle-to-muzzle! I stared into his mad, mad eyes as my mind raced. Sunny told me that he’d spent a thousand years as a stone statue. Tyllae waxed eloquent about what it was like…

“W-wait!” I protested.

“Oh, it’s no trouble!” His eyes began to rotate in opposite directions as he smiled nastily. “I’m happy to help! Nothing is too good for such a nice, responsible Pony like you!”

The Ship’s computer couldn’t have reacted faster! Balefire didn’t faze him. Realistically, I didn’t have a hope in Hell of touching him… much less killing him. But, if I was going to end up as a statue, even if he burned petrochemicals he was going to have a hard time breathing with a stone hand wrapped around his windpipe!

I was dazzled by the blue flash even as I felt my arm move! My hand closed upon empty air as he brought a claw up and snapped his fingers! Blue radiance washed through my eyes, blinding me. A burst of almost electric intensity passed through me, over and done before I could even spasm. My skin crawled, every follicle of my fur stirred and bristled. The air in my lungs burst forth in an incoherent, strangely deep, cry! Discord looked on with an expression of malevolent glee…

I blinked and sagged where I stood, amazed that I was able to move anything at all! I drew a deep breath and stood erect, flipping my mane out of my face. I sneered defiantly at the Prince of Chaos.

“Not quite infallible, are you? Nice to know…” I paused, shocked at the baritone of my voice! A second, much more fundamental shock went through me as I felt my blouse collapse and sag across my chest. The worst shock of all came as I became acutely of the fact that the skimpy underwear Sunny coaxed me into wearing was suddenly waaay too tight and confining! And what was that bunched up in the front!?

I clutched my chest and encountered only firm flatness! I yanked my blouse up to my throat and peered down in disbelief at the broad, muscular pectorals I exposed! In a panic I pulled my slacks open and confronted what winked up at me!

“What the Hell…?” I clutched at my throat, my fingers informing me of the strange, hard swelling there as that strange, deep voice boomed in my ears. The Mare in my head gaped at her readouts and locked down her Bridge as I reeled.

Ok, I fainted! …But it wasn’t as if I didn’t have a reason to!

I came to flat on my butt, propped up on my back-spread arms with my tail splayed out behind me. Sunny was holding my lolling head with her forehead pressed tightly against mine the tears streaming from her tightly shut eyes. Dazzle, her naked and raw burns glistening with the dressings Sunny had applied, propped me up with her body. From behind Discord, Stimbolt gaped at me over the console he’d been fiddling with.

“Now who said anything about stone? Not a bad job, makes me wish I’d thought of it!” Discord regarded the end of his crystal baton fondly before polishing the end with an elbow, beaming proudly! He strolled over and bent his body over to address me. “Don’t thank me, you’re welcome! It’s the least I could do for your all services!” He flipped again, snickering malevolently once more.

“What the Hell are you talking about, you Goddess-damned freakshow?” Dazzle snarled. “The only service I’m gonna do for you is piss on your rotting corpse!”

Unimpressed, Discord snapped his fingers and the Security Chief was suddenly gagging on the thick, wool sock sticking out of her mouth! She brought her mangled hooves up to yank it out, hissing in pain and raw rage!

“Tsk, tsk, tsk! In my day, Ponies were much more circumspect in their speech!” The sock came free and Dazzle drew a breath. A froth-covered bar of soap popped out of nowhere and hovered in front of her face menacingly. She held her peace.

“Please!” Sunny lifted her tear-stained face to him. “Put her back as she was! Ye’re older’n th’ whole Pony race! Ye must be wiser than us! Be merciful in yer wisdom! Why are ye doin’ this?”

He knelt, his body bending impossibly in that serpentine way of his, and lifted Sunny’s chin with one talon. He became clad in brilliant scarlet-and-gold robes. His muzzle suddenly sported two thin, drooping moustaches that dangled limply below him as he peered solemnly into her eyes.

“Why not? He asked dispassionately, then sprang to his feet again! A violet nimbus formed behind him and lightning crackled within it. He brandished his crystal on high and cackled like the mad thing he was!

“I’m CHAOS, you silly foal!” He thundered. “My only rule is that there are no rules!” With a flash of light he was suddenly sitting in an overstuffed chair, wearing a plaid smoking jacket and puffing an enormous meerschaum pipe in the likeness of himself. He regarded her mildly over the half-moon glasses perched on the end of his muzzle. “Does that answer your question, my Dear?”

I surged to my hooves, ignoring what was getting pinched and painfully tweaked by my undies as I changed position and knelt next to Sunny and hugged her protectively.

“Don’t beg him for anything, Sunny!” I growled, my new vocal apparatus adding whole new dimensions to the sound! “He’s not worth it!” That bar of soap swooped in my direction. I snatched it out of the air and squeezed for all I was worth. This thing yelped in alarm just before soap squirted spurted between my fingers in all directions. I flung what remained at him but what made it over there was a shower of daisies that swooped and swarmed and arranged themselves as dainty little floral crowns atop the heads of the motionless Gorn crew folk!

I stood and took a step, keeping myself between Discord and Sunny. I winced as some particularly tender new equipment got into a bind! With a snort I reached down into my slacks with both hooves and tore my underwear in half, the act of ripping it out from under my clothing and flinging it away bringing new pain to parts I’d only theorized about before. The discomfort stopped being a warning and only served to feed the mounting and towering rage that pounded in my very blood!

Sure, I’ve been mad as Hell before… on more than a few occasions! But I’d never before experienced the kind of overarching, bloody-minded urge to stomp and trample I was feeling right at that moment. I was dimly aware of the Mare in my head wondering if this was what testosterone felt like…

It took every quantum scrap of Focus at my disposal to drag myself to a stop. I balled fists the size of basketballs, the hard tips of my hooves at the ends of my fingers digging into my palms. My chest was tight and I realized I was positively snorting as I glared at the mismatched figure who steepled talons and claws as he regarded me with amusement.

It was that mocking smirk on his face that halted me more than anything else, though. The only thing more galling than being provoked to anger was becoming a source of entertainment by doing it! My Pride, it seems, was more overweening than my Anger.

I ground to a halt like one of the ancient Bolo Fighting Machines as some of the metaphorical red receded from my vision. I planted my hooves and willed myself out of the combat crouch I’d fallen into.

“No.” My baritone voice shocked me even further away from my primal wrath. “Dress me up all you want, I’m not going to perform for you. You want to hold me responsible? Fine! I am. That’s what I get paid for and that’s what I choose to do.” With an effort I lowered my arms and opened my fists.

“You said I did you a service…I’m curious to know just what such an ostensibly omnipotent creature such as yourself needs somepony like me to do for him. Or are you, indeed, less than make yourself out to be? Why start an interstellar war between the Federation and these ‘Gorn’?”

As an attempt at needling and turning the tables it was a feeble ploy… but it was better than yelling and shaking my fist!

As I spoke I watched Discord’s smirk quaver and twitch as he fought unsuccessfully to contain himself. By the time I finished he broke down completely, hooting and cackling in glee and thrashing himself around in his chair! …I did mental cube roots in base three numbers to keep myself from doing something futile!

“That voice! Coming from that hairdo!” He pounded on the arm of his chair, wiping at his eyes. “You’re hilarious! Just like when the Poison Joke made Flu…” His mirth faltered and the smile twisted into a sneer as he flipped again.

“But she’s dead.” He said with bitter flatness. “ They’re all dead! The Others never really wanted to trust me, but they did while she lived! That’s the trouble with you Ponies!” He glowered at me like a thunderstorm coming over Mount Thunderball! “You prate and prattle about your precious ‘Friendship’, but it never lasts, doesn’t it? A few decades and then what? Feebleness and Death! It’s all so useless!”

The chair and the floral crowns disappeared in a flash and he suddenly towered over me with his eyes blazing, one violet, the other livid green!

“She could have lived forever… but, no, she wouldn’t let me do it! All I could do was watch as that stupid disease ate her alive! It was beyond Pony doctors, but I could have saved her with just a thought!” He snarled, his eyes looking at something far away and long ago. They snapped back to me an instant later shining like twin portals to Hell. The Devil of Equestria is always depicted as evil and insane… it was somehow unsettling to see the hurt in those glowing orbs.

“I kept the pain away right up to the end. Celestia…” He spat the name scornfully. “Let me do that much in her infinite goodness! ‘Don’t cry because she’s gone, smile because you knew her!’ That was her ‘Divine Advice’! The Wise and Powerful Celestia! Pah!” He spat a glowing green gobbet across the room in a brass cuspidor that suddenly appeared there… it went up in a small, green mushroom cloud. A shockwave fluttered the cuffs of my slacks and muted thunder rolled across the alien Bridge.

“Fluttershy. I remember th’…” Sunny began and stopped dead as Discords’ neck telescoped to reach her.

“If you… or anypony… say her name again you’re going to find out what it’s like to be a transgendered iguana like ‘Godzilla’, here…” He reached out a talon to flick Green Tunic on the side of hir head in emphasis. It rang somehow, like a bell! “With parasites!” Discord raging and loud was par for the course… but the eerie calm that took him at that point was enough to make my blood run cold!

He looked away into to the far side of the room. An image had formed there. A yellow, quadrepedal Mare lay in a hospital. Her mane was gone, only a few patches of pink fuzz showed beneath a brilliant pink headband that was decorated with golden butterflies. There were IV’s running in each foreleg and her huge eyes were shut.

She was thin, emaciated. Her cheeks rose up over her hollow cheeks and her limbs were incredibly slender, accenting her already fragile, doll-like appearance

She wasn’t alone. Her friends thronged her bedside. A shockingly pink-on-pink Earth Pony, a dusting of gray on a few of the locks of her incredibly curly mane, finished tying a bunch of bright pink balloons that bore bright yellow butterflies to the headboard. She alone had a smile on her face, defiant and subdued.

Next to her was a cyan-blue Pegasus with a garish, red, yellow, green, and blue mane and tail. Not a speck of gray marked her, but her face carried a few wrinkles beside those eyes bright with unshed tears. She toughed it out, this Pony, being brave for the sake of the Others.

Beside her stood an orange and blonde Earth Pony Mare who had a smattering of small, red freckles on her honest, open face. With a small shock I recognized the Mare that Discord had partially impersonated moments before. This one looked oldest of the rest, strands of gray ran through her mane and she looked… tired. She held a cowpony hat pressed against her breast with one hoof and her head was bowed. A frankly gorgeous white and purple Unicorn, her lips pressed thin and trembling, raised a hoof and laid it on her shoulder. Three diamonds shone on her flank and her stylish tail drooped.

The last Pony was an Alicorn, purple with an indigo and mauve mane. She sat primly opposite the Pink Mare with her eyes squeezed shut, diamonds of tears bright in the corners. She hugged… I blinked twice… a white rabbit in her forelegs that seemed to be glaring accusingly right at us! Behind her was an open window through which a glorious, golden sun shone. There was a collection of brightly-colored birds perched on the windowsill, their voices raised in a harmonious, whistling melody…

In the foreground of the tableaux an eagle’s talon and a lion’s paw lay softly on the sheet-covered side of the sleeping Mare. She stirred and lifted her head wearily. Her enormous, lovely eyes opened slowly and she took in every face around her. Her eyes settled last upon us before closing One Last Time. The head settled down on the pillow and her last breath went out in a tiny…squeak.

Talon and paw snatched away from the figure and the point of view wrenched around to settle on….The Goddesses!

We all of us gasped at the statuesque Alicorn Mare with the gleaming white coat, towering white horn, and improbably huge, multicolored pastel mane that rippled slowly in an unseen wind. She wore a harness in which an enormous golden topaz shone and a regal gold, bejeweled tiara rested behind her horn. Her wings were folded demurely at her sides as he bowed her head in Respect For The Dead. When she raised it again, she looked straight at us with pain and sympathy and sadness is those majestic eyes.

“Do not cry because she is gone, Discord. Smile because you knew her.” She said softly.
Beside her the other Alicorn stirred. Smaller than Celestia, she was a vision of midnight blue and shades of purple. He soft mane glowed like a nebula in the deeps of space and I would swear there were tiny stars in it! She wore a harness in similar fashion to her Sister, though hers was deep indigo and bore the device of a crescent Moon upon it. A small tiara of jet nestled upon her regal head. She stood straight, her sadness no less than any of the others but kept tightly reined within the straitjacket of the Royal Dignity she took very seriously indeed!

Luna bowed her head and her horn glowed. A purple nimbus gathered up the end of the sheet and drew it up to cover the lifeless face solemnly. She stepped forward and touched the corpse with her horn in benediction.

“She is gone from this world but not from our hearts. Remember, Ponies. Death is but a Door.” He voice was like that of a foal old beyond her years. It was compelling, hinting at things hidden in shadows… and was soft as the Night. She paused to nuzzle the form beneath the sheet, the tears she’d suppressed peeking out from under her eyelids. “Another Star Shines in the Night.” She said quietly.

We all jumped as Discord howled! He leapt at the image and slashed it with his crystal wand again and again, ripping it into tatters. He wadded the pieces up in a ball and tossed it into the air where it went up in a blazing scarlet display of tiny, blazing Discords belching flames!

Maybe Dazzle was foggy from painkillers. Maybe the pain made her too mad to care. In any event she came to her hooves with a lurch.

“Let me get this straight!” She snarled. “You’re all bent out of shape because you’re carrying a torch for some dead Bimbo out of a Pony Tale? Grow up and get over it, already!”

“PONY!!” The Spirit of Chaos thundered, somehow growing too tall to be standing on the deck of the alien ship. “YOU’VE EARNED THIS!!” His eyes blazed like molten, moldy gold and the Crystal Prism came to bear on the hapless Dazzle who, bless her heart, stood her ground like a trooper!

Behind him, Stimbolt closed a final circuit…

Half the displays on the Gorn ship stuttered and winked off. Alarms that sounded like urgent bird calls sounded as overloads tripped…

Discord whirled on Stimbolt. “What are you…ow!”

He flinched and took a step back, raising his arms to hold the crystal defensively in front of him! He wavered like a video transmission during an ion storm and screamed! His body stretched back and forth vertically and horizontally maybe half a dozen times in rapid succession, his contorted body frozen in attitudes of agony. I can’t say that I sympathized with him!

Eldritch lightning flashed around the Bridge! Stimbolt threw himself down as a bolt of green malevolence nearly demolished the console he’d be working on. More bolts scored hits on other displays, but they were falling randomly as if The Prince of Chaos was losing the ability to aim them accurately. The Gorn Captain took on square in hir chest that blew her out of hir seat and flung hir to the deck. Dazzle dived and bore Sunny flat, covering her with her body. I was just fast enough to dodge one that blackened the deck by my left hoof. Every hair on me stood on end as the left side of my body spasmed with electricity. I tumbled and rolled onto my back just in time to see Discord lose coherency entirely! His entire being devolved into a twisting green cloud no bigger than my head, the crystal twirling in mid-air! As I watched a talon reached out of the cloud to snatch it up, then cloud and crystal vanished along with the fading sound of Discord’s final wail!

Silence finally returned to the Bridge. I sat up and slapped at the flames licking the side of my pants!

“Stimbolt!” I bellowed. “Are you still with us?” I twisted around to see Sunny and Dazzle disentangling themselves. I winced to see Dazzle crawling around on her elbows, her burned and blistered hooves held up high and she scrambled off Sunny who was scrambling to make her way to me with her Medical bag in tow.

Stimbolt crawled out on all fours from behind the central displays and peered around the legs of the Gorn there.

“Is he gone?”

Dazzle got to her hooves and stood cautiously.

“Looks that way!” She paused to survey the smoking Bridge. “Kid, what the hell did you do?”

Stimbolt had crawled over to help Sunny who just shooed him away impatiently as she examined my burns. He got to his knees and grinned sheepishly up at the Security Chief.

“I let him have it with alternating subspace pulses from the Gorn sensors! It made sense at the time. After all, that’s how we got around his communications blackout in the first place.” He shrugged. “He wasn’t physically here when we arrived so his appearance had to be the result of his ‘transmitting’ himself here in real-time. If he’s transmitting in real-time the only way he could do that is via subspace…unless he’s less than a tenth of a light second away… so I used the sensor emitters to basically jam his signal with an overloaded series of random emissions. Like an EMP with old-style electronics.” He looked around the devastated Bridge with his Engineer’s Eye. “I, uh, may have overdone it…a bit!”

“Hay! If it’s worth doing it’s worth overdoing!” Dazzle tipped the Middie a wink. “Good job, kid!”

“Well…” Stimbolt rubbed the back of his neck. “It got the job done! Just wish I could have done it sooner.” He added ruefully, not quite looking at me or Dazzle.

I sighed with relief as the knots in my muscles relaxed under the spell of Sunny’s horn. Without the distraction of the raving Discord she’d already tended my burns, the blisters and char reduced to smooth, healthy skin even as I watched. When I tried to catch her eye she hurried over to finish tending Dazzle…I swallowed a sudden lump in my throat.

“Subspace EMP, did you say?” I forced my attention back to the situation at hoof and carefully stood, putting weight on my burned leg gingerly. “Then our equipment is probably slagged. Congratulations, Stimbolt! You just trashed tens of thousands of credits worth of Starfleet Property…” Stimbolt blanched, no doubt imagining what Jerry would say later! “And you saved our collective oatmeal! I’m recommending you for a citation. Like the Mare said, Good Job… and thank you!”

“No problem, Starry! Looking harmless has its charms, doesn’t it? But, like I said, if I’d been quicker about it you and the Chief wouldn’t have ended up…well, you know.” He trailed off and broke eye contact.

Involuntarily I looked down at myself, then over to Sunny casting her Magic on Dazzle’s balefire burns. I made it a point to catch the Middie’s eye.

“It couldn’t be helped, Stimbolt.” I said gently. “How could anypony predict how Chaos will play out? It’s…” One of my hooves wandered up to my chest as if it couldn’t believe what it didn’t find there. “A hazard of the job.” I said more bitterly than I intended.

“We’re alive and we have to get in touch with the Hermes!” I said briskly. “Unless we’ve been very lucky our communicators won’t even be able to transmit on radio frequencies. I’m hoping the Gorn’s communications systems might be in better shape, otherwise we’ll have to cobber something together. Everypony check your communicators for radio capability.”

I retrieved mine and flipped it open without much hope. It was dead. Well, a transtator could only take so much…

“Mine’s gone.” Stimbolt pronounced. “Then again, I was at Ground Zero, wasn’t I?”
Sunny got Dazzles’ for her then checked her own. Dazzle peered at the displays.

“All we got here is a matching pair of bookends, Starry!” She announced. “Good for recycling, but not much else.”

“So much for that.” I acknowledged. “Try the Gorns’ board, Stimbolt.”

“Right!” The Middie circled around Copper Tunic and reached for the Communications Station. As he stretched out his arm the aura around the Pseudoreptilians faded away! Their eerie, orange eyes blinked from the sides once, twice, thrice! Hissing gasps of surprise arose from all of them at once. Stimbolt had time for one comment.

“Crap!”

…Which just about summed it up!

Author's Note

Happy Birthday to me! I turn 55 today... it's a highly overrated event, I can tell you! That being said, here's the latest installment! I'm not sure if I'm happy with it, it's hard to do Discord justice. He's such a visual sort of guy! And even I have to admit I went a little overboard with the obscure movie references...again. Only a blind Pony could miss the Clint Eastwood... but did anypony catch Ming the Merciless?

STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA supplemental Shipboard Life 2

STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA

Shipboard Life -Two

Sunny was running late in Medical that night. One of the Engineering Techs, a Unicorn named Spanner, tripped while performing maintenance on the one of the shuttlecraft. His skull failed in its attempt to put a dent in the super-hard composite material of the port drive nacelle and he ended up with a depressed skull fracture. He was rushed to Sickbay just before Sunny’s watch ended and she elected to stay and assist Doctor Willowbark with the surgery. The prognosis was excellent and the poor buck could look forward to nothing worse than a headache and the gift of a helmet from his fellows afterwards.

After dinner I took Tyllae back to our cabin. I changed into my old spatball shirt and sweatpants and set the little tyke up with her favorite padd full of Three Stooge Ponies episodes before settling down on the bed with one of Sunny’s old-style books and a tumbler full of Sparkle-Cola Rad to while away the time till Sunny returned.

Reading with a Faery in the room is an exercise in interruption. Tyllae has the attention span of a gnat at the best of times and the two hundred year old slapstick antics of those Stooges… and the huge chocolate-chip cookie she’d retrieved from her magical stash… did nothing to calm her down. Thus she zipped from here to there in our room, tending to Myrl the Geeva, indulging in aerial dance numbers, and exhorting me to watch choice scenes involving the maneless Stooge undergoing what seemed to be variations on epileptic fits complete with whooping noises. I managed to keep up with the events in The Fellowship of the Horseshoe nonetheless, pausing only when she’d conjured a long straw to refresh herself from my cola. I’d rather stir antimatter and deuterium with my bare hooves before I’d mix sugar and caffeine in a Faery crucible!

I snatched the giggling little twerp out of the air and roughhoused her over to the replicator for a cup of decaffeinated peppermint tea with lots of non-caloric sweetener. It tasted like liquid candy so she allowed herself to be reigned in to sit with me on the bed. I tucked her into my mane up on my left shoulder after she got a tummy full of peppermint sweetness. Not being able to read she asked me questions about what was happening in the story. I had to explain to her about Halfling Ponies, a concept she took as a given rather to my surprise.

“All kindsa Faeries are shapey-shifters, Starry!” She admonished. “How does Starry think so many Ponies have Magic? All comes from Faery grandparents, not just from Alicornees! Faeries make look like Ponies an’ have all sortsa foals to make Pony Tree grow strong an’ healthy. Faeries very very very wise, Starry!”

“Uh-huh!” I grunted skeptically. “I’m an Earth Pony and an Equestrin on top of that. I’m about as Magical as a bowling ball, kiddo. Hate to burst your bubble!”

Like all small things, Tyllae balances one hour of frenetic activity with four hours of sleep… and she’d been going strong for hours now. I heard her yawn as she nestled into my mane.

“Silly Starry!” She said sleepily. “Earthy-Ponies gotta special magic alla own. Very subtle, very secret an’ special. Earthy-Ponies do anything Earthy-Ponies puta mind to. Make do big things nopony thinks of before. Build housies, build machinys, build star-shippies…” She yawned hugely and I smelled peppermint. “…Makea awg-mints, all sortsa stuff! Whatever thinka ‘bout, Earthy-Ponies do sooner or later!” She gathered my mane to her and nuzzled the soft curls.

“Mmmm! Softy-soft-soft! Tyllae likes Starry’s nice, nice, nice mane. Very, very, very snuggly!”

I reached up and stroked her with a forefinger. “Why don’t you catch a nap, Squirt? I’ll wake you when Sunny gets in. Then we can all go to the Rec Deck. I think Sunny has a role-playing game going tonight. We’ll cheer her on and you can help her roll dice, she says you’re lucky!” More Terran Pony entertainment nonsense. I mean, really now! Pretending to be the descendants of mutant survivors of an arcanotechnological holocaust in a warped and twisted future world where Magic and Science have gone wild is a bit too much like the actual reality of the post-Eugenic Wars! What some Ponies call ‘entertainment’! As games go it’s hardly what I’d call fun, too much pointless work involved to be relaxing by my way of thinking. Still, watching and listening to the players is like attending some weird fantasy play. I’ve never allowed them to talk me into ‘rolling up a character’. I’m just there for the snacks and to be moral support for Sunny. Tyllae gets to roll the dice for the Game Master, ostensibly to ensure impartiality on his or her part. Watching her choose the prettiest dice to roll like they were exotic bowling balls is a big part of the night’s entertainment!

“Yay! ‘Gammy World’! Tyllae gonna rest up so Tyllae can make alla important rolls! Night-night, Starry!” She planted an elfin kiss on my ear and snuggled in eagerly.

“Night-night, kiddo!” I got comfortable and found my place again. Listening to the little Fey’s breathing lapse into soft snores made my own eyes heavy after a bit, it was a lot like listening to the white noise of Sunny’s fan. I closed my eyes just for a little rest and let the book rest on my chest. Just as I began the warm slide into sleep I felt her stir and heard a soft, muted noise from the Fey.

“Cover your mouth when you burp, kiddo.” I admonished with a yawn.

Tyllae giggled sleepily. “Oopsie! Didn’t burp!”

I opened one eye in alarm as I caught a whiff of something besides peppermint!

“Damnit, you little gasbag! In my mane? Ick! Out, out!” I shooed the little Chemical Warrior from my mane and stomped off to the shower.

When Sunny came in I was still in the shower with Tyllae apologizing from the other side of the divider. I filled her in while I lathered up for the second time… with lots of green apple scented shampoo!

Sunny couldn’t keep the mirth out of her voice. “Sure n’ it sounds likes a case o’ just desserts! Ye told me t’ be philosophical ‘bout it as I recall.”

I rinsed off and shut the shower down. I slid the divider aside and was greeted by Tyllae flapping her wings at Warp Speed with my towel clutched in all four legs. She looked so woebegone that I couldn’t bring myself to growl at her as I relieved her of her burden and began scrubbing my mane.

“Tyllae did not mean it, Starry!” She said earnestly; ready to flit away at any sudden movement on my part. Despite the situation I was feeling more like a bully with each passing second. “Tyllae was all sleepy-sleepy an’ it just happened. Tyllae wasn’t being mean, honest!”

“There!” Sunny pointed out reasonably. “Ye see? T’was an accident is all! I survived n’ so will ye. ‘Tis no like ye never broke a no-so-wee wind yerself on occasion. Remember that chili last week? I’dve made ye sleep on th’ couch if we had one. Good job I had the fan. Bloody ‘bout blew blanket right off th’ bloody bed! ‘N th’ smell! Could’ve knocked a Manticore down at twenty paces upwind! S’truth, talk about yer bean-fed horses!”

“I never had habeneros before, ok? And we don’t grow beans on Equestris! You’re the one who says I should try new things as I recall.” I peered out from under the towel at my reflection in the mirror, comparing my much larger physique to hers. The comment about being a horse; an overgrown, crude, good-for-only-physical-labor, stupid Equine never fails to make me self-conscious of my size.

Tyllae stopped tittering and jumped up and down on Sunny’s head three times, her way of bopping somepony on the back of the head no doubt. She sometimes has a low sense of humor… as evidenced by her taste in antique comedy vids… but she also has a highly developed sense of fairness, bless her elfin heart!

“Sunny! Don’t be mean an call names on poor, poor, poor Starry! Starry didn’ mean it, either! Be nice or Sunny can roll own dices an have all sorta bad luck!”

“Oh, dinna get yer antennae in a twist, ye little flitterbug!” Sunny snatched the Fey out of the steamy air with a practiced gesture and held her up to her cheek. “I was only gettin’ point across through that thick Equestrin skull that she’s no really mad at ye! Am I right ‘r am I right?”

I draped my towel over my shoulder and stopped trying to hide in it. The effect I created in the mirror was not unlike that of certain ancient sculptures I’d seen in museums on Earth depicting partial nudes. It was certainly catching Sunny’s attention, at least!

“All right, all right!” I sighed. “I’m sorry I yelled, Tyllae. I know you didn’t mean it. I was half-asleep and you startled me. Ok?”

The little tyke flitted into my mane in a microsecond, nestling in the damp curls! “Tyllae is sorry, too! If Tyllae was more awake Tyllae would not have done it. Everthing all oakey-dokes!” She tickled my ear with a Faery nuzzle that made me squirm and reach up to poke her tummy in retaliation, making her giggle and squirm!

Sunny adjusted my towel, smoothing it down and observing the effect. She had to collect herself before speaking.

“Right! Now all that's done you should shake a leg n' get dressed or we'll be late for game. I have it on good authority that there will be bean dip n' corn crisps for snacks...” She managed to catch us both with one stern eye. “So there'll be a wee pill I'll be thankin' th' both o' ye t' take afore we start! I'll be wantin' t' get a good nights sleep for a change!”

“Sounds good to me! Howabout you, Squirt?” I pulled the Fey out to sit on my palm where she beamed up at Sunny.

“Sunny-Sunny gotta pill for everthing! Tyllae wonders if issa pill for snoring? Tyllae needs a good night sleepy, too!”

“I dinna snore, ye half-pint hobgoblin!” Sunny made a grab for the giggling Fey who zipped out of the bathroom. “Get back here, ye sawed-off pixie, 'r it'll be in me t' tell th' others ye put a hex on their dice!”

I chuckled and began getting dressed. The Players, I reflected, are more fun than the game!

Author's Note

It's been a heck of a month for me so far. Computer problems, a bout of the flu, and a new vehicle to boot! I should be back on a more practical schedule now... assuming I make it through the Holidays! Please accept this humble aside while I get back to the Big Work. Also... does anypony out there remember Gamma World? :)