The greatest story ever

by Erebos

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Human, Comedy
Length: 1008

There will never be a greater story

Dave is a human and ends up in Equestria, what do.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-15 19:05:14 UTC

The greatest chapter ever

The greatest chapter ever

Teh worst greatestt story eva

By, the greatestt worst author ever

Dave was minding his own business when a bus hit him. Dave died but Discord/Yaweh/Allah/Jesus/Buddah/Shiva/Rah/ Hades/ Odin/ Shrek/ Dawkins/ Aniubus/ Exodia/ Mewtwo/ Hitler/ Stalin/ Bismarck/ Patton/ Celestia/ Tupac/Biggie/moot/Arnold shwartznager/Brock lesnar/ superman/batman/ The Flash/ The Hulk/ Iron man/ Magneto/ Jackie Chan/ Sonny Litson/ Patrick Bateman/ Mario/ Sonic/ the fantastic four/ RAPTOR JESUS ALL HAIL HIM/ Chuck Norris/Bruce Lee ( depending on what you believe in of course) revived him and sent him to Equestria.

Dave walked around the town of Ponyville until he found the library.

"Hello." He said to the treehouse

The treehouse replied " would you like to learn about surgery?"

"Of course!"

And so the tree began

"The first  time surgery was used was by the new Guineans as a way to over throw there lizard people overlords, now the lizard people were extreamly intent on keeping there rule over the earthlings so they played hopscotch day in and dy out and dew phallusmshaped objects of interest all,over humans faces..,"

Then Princess Twilight Sparklers came out of the house looked at Dave and sarted saying" neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh ."

Dave responded " neigh?"

Twilight then started shouting " NEIGH NIEGH NIEGH NIEGH!"

Dave didn't understand what was going on and left he went to le farm. And found Applejack

He tried to talk to her but she only said "apples apples apples apples apples apples apples"

Dave said "apples apples apples apples apples apples McApples."

Applejack tilted her head and said " apples apples apples?"

So Dave looked at her and said. " oranges"

And Applejack tattooed a dick on his arm

Frustrated Dave went to Fluttershy's house and got shit thrown at him

Like legit fecal matter

And not just one kind of shit but multiple kinds of animal feces.

However dave then went to the carousel bootike butique butane booty backpedal boutique.                       hore house asshole butique

Where rarity was just giving a presentation to her slave sister sweetie bell.

"Now sweetie remember 1 fish 2 fish red fish blue dish 3 fish 4 fish core dish door fish 5 fish 6 fish good wish basketball swish, Raptor Jesus is our lord sweetie bell we must not forget that as the ancient prophecies fore told ON THE FIRST DAY RAPTOR JESUS BROUGHT LIGHT AND DARKNESS INTO THE WORLD, ON THE SECOND DAY RAPTOR JESUS IVENTED THE EARTH FOR LIVING, ON THE THIRD DAY RAPTOR JESUS INVENTED DORITOS SO WE WOULD NEVER GO HUNGRY AND ON THE FOURTH DAY HE INVENTED BLARK All PRAISE RAPTOR JESUS ALL HAIL OUR LORD RAPTOR JESUS. Rarity then started uttering a prayer to her creepy cult god. CANIES EDIT CANEM DESU DEUS EX MACHINA

However when she saw Dave she dragged him in and made him eat blark

After escaping that hell hole he decided to go to the pink stink, so he went to shitcube corner

After looking at pinkie Dave says " he bitch give me some of that cookie"

Pinkie looks at him an says. "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

After that he tries to find rainbow dash but crashes into her instead. And THEY SWITCH BODIES

"ZOMFG" Dave says in Rainbows body

Then pinkie hits him with a frying pan

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

( meanwhile in real life)

A man is foaming at the the mouth and seizing uncontrollably on the floor of a 20 something stoners apartment.

"You good dave"

" grhhhhh"

"You good"

"Grhhhhh"

" Dave come on man"

"Grhhhhh"

" come on man you don't want me to tell people that you like My Little Pony."

"Grhhhhhhh"

"Your loss man"

8==================D

(Back in ponyville)

Dave wakes up and finds that the cutie mark crusaders have sold him to a museum after choping his legs and arms off

He is know known as stubby and has the same routine every day

1.wake up

Start counting

uno

dos

tres

cuatro

cinco

seis

siete

ocho

nueve

diez

once

doce

trece

catorce

quince

dieciséis

diecisiete

dieciocho

diecinueve

veinte

veintiuno

veintidós

veintitrés

veinticuatro

veinticinco

veintiséis

veintisiete

veintiocho

veintinueve

treinta

Then he goes to sleep.

The end