//-------------------------------------------------------// The greatest story ever -by Erebos- //-------------------------------------------------------// //-------------------------------------------------------// The greatest chapter ever //-------------------------------------------------------// The greatest chapter ever Teh worst greatestt story eva By, the greatestt worst author ever Dave was minding his own business when a bus hit him. Dave died but Discord/Yaweh/Allah/Jesus/Buddah/Shiva/Rah/ Hades/ Odin/ Shrek/ Dawkins/ Aniubus/ Exodia/ Mewtwo/ Hitler/ Stalin/ Bismarck/ Patton/ Celestia/ Tupac/Biggie/moot/Arnold shwartznager/Brock lesnar/ superman/batman/ The Flash/ The Hulk/ Iron man/ Magneto/ Jackie Chan/ Sonny Litson/ Patrick Bateman/ Mario/ Sonic/ the fantastic four/ RAPTOR JESUS ALL HAIL HIM/ Chuck Norris/Bruce Lee ( depending on what you believe in of course) revived him and sent him to Equestria. Dave walked around the town of Ponyville until he found the library. "Hello." He said to the treehouse The treehouse replied " would you like to learn about surgery?" "Of course!" And so the tree began "The first  time surgery was used was by the new Guineans as a way to over throw there lizard people overlords, now the lizard people were extreamly intent on keeping there rule over the earthlings so they played hopscotch day in and dy out and dew phallusmshaped objects of interest all,over humans faces..," Then Princess Twilight Sparklers came out of the house looked at Dave and sarted saying" neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh neigh ." Dave responded " neigh?" Twilight then started shouting " NEIGH NIEGH NIEGH NIEGH!" Dave didn't understand what was going on and left he went to le farm. And found Applejack He tried to talk to her but she only said "apples apples apples apples apples apples apples" Dave said "apples apples apples apples apples apples McApples." Applejack tilted her head and said " apples apples apples?" So Dave looked at her and said. " oranges" And Applejack tattooed a dick on his arm Frustrated Dave went to Fluttershy's house and got shit thrown at him Like legit fecal matter And not just one kind of shit but multiple kinds of animal feces. However dave then went to the carousel bootike butique butane booty backpedal boutique.                       hore house asshole butique Where rarity was just giving a presentation to her slave sister sweetie bell. "Now sweetie remember 1 fish 2 fish red fish blue dish 3 fish 4 fish core dish door fish 5 fish 6 fish good wish basketball swish, Raptor Jesus is our lord sweetie bell we must not forget that as the ancient prophecies fore told ON THE FIRST DAY RAPTOR JESUS BROUGHT LIGHT AND DARKNESS INTO THE WORLD, ON THE SECOND DAY RAPTOR JESUS IVENTED THE EARTH FOR LIVING, ON THE THIRD DAY RAPTOR JESUS INVENTED DORITOS SO WE WOULD NEVER GO HUNGRY AND ON THE FOURTH DAY HE INVENTED BLARK All PRAISE RAPTOR JESUS ALL HAIL OUR LORD RAPTOR JESUS. Rarity then started uttering a prayer to her creepy cult god. CANIES EDIT CANEM DESU DEUS EX MACHINA However when she saw Dave she dragged him in and made him eat blark After escaping that hell hole he decided to go to the pink stink, so he went to shitcube corner After looking at pinkie Dave says " he bitch give me some of that cookie" Pinkie looks at him an says. "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. After that he tries to find rainbow dash but crashes into her instead. And THEY SWITCH BODIES "ZOMFG" Dave says in Rainbows body Then pinkie hits him with a frying pan €€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€ ( meanwhile in real life) A man is foaming at the the mouth and seizing uncontrollably on the floor of a 20 something stoners apartment. "You good dave" " grhhhhh" "You good" "Grhhhhh" " Dave come on man" "Grhhhhh" " come on man you don't want me to tell people that you like My Little Pony." "Grhhhhhhh" "Your loss man" 8==================D (Back in ponyville) Dave wakes up and finds that the cutie mark crusaders have sold him to a museum after choping his legs and arms off He is know known as stubby and has the same routine every day 1.wake up Start counting uno dos tres cuatro cinco seis siete ocho nueve diez once doce trece catorce quince dieciséis diecisiete dieciocho diecinueve veinte veintiuno veintidós veintitrés veinticuatro veinticinco veintiséis veintisiete veintiocho veintinueve treinta Then he goes to sleep. The end