The small world of Villainy

by CeresBane

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Nightmare Moon, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Discord
Length: 3117

What if all the villains of my little pony were all just exiled to the moon?

What if all the villains of my little pony were all just exiled to the moon?

Discord, Nightmare moon and Chrysalis try to get along living out eternity in a barren wasteland with crazy people as company.

Joy.

Published 2013-04-15 23:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-24 01:24:01 UTC

A new friend

Living on the moon for a thousand years was torture, all alone in the cold eternal night, no pony there to talk to, a barren wasteland with nothing for you to do. The idleness, the silence, the loneliness had just about destroyed her. She had thought to herself so many times that surely anything was better than this.

"And that's how I nearly destroyed Equestria!" But, by her sister, she never thought it could get this much worst.

"That was also the same story of how Equestria was apparently made too." Nightmare moon's voice purred with irritation.That voice could only come from one creature. A thousand years of Nightmare's anger and hate brought, in an instant, to boiling point by some love child of a sort of depraved orgy.

"Well... after telling the story over and over for a year, I thought I'd mix it up a little." Discord said shrugging with his mismatched appendages. Nightmare moon's mane flared with power as she spotted him sneak a little smirk as he said it. She just hated it when he did this. He knew it too.

"But now the story makes no sense!" Out of habit she had shouted out her usual rebuke. She growled in frustration as she anticipated Discord's response.

"What use is making sense, Woona?" The moon princess pounced on the creature before him. For a full year raking at her irritation. After a thousand years the repetition was the only thing that kept her sane. How things always were how they were meant to be, how things had their place and events occurred exactly as they were meant to.

Otherwise, she could never accept that she was meant to be stuck on the moon for another eternity. When things made no sense to that philosophy, Nightmare moon couldn't accept it. She'd get mad, really mad, uncontrollably mad. And Discord in reaction? He'd never say it to her, but he loved her best when she was like that.

Nightmare moon was the kinda girl that was just too cute when she was angry, and he couldn't get enough of it.

"I told you to stop calling me that name!" The Alicorn mare was upon Discord trampling hooves and whipping and binding him with dark shadows. She didn't care anymore that for the fact she had been saving that power for a year so that she could eventually escape, so long as he was gone she could happily start fresh and wait for another thousand years. Scratches and bruises marred his entire body and the creature just laughed. Nightmare moon's rage only grew at that sight and quite quickly the laughing stopped, Discord was silent and the Nightmare finally ended.

"Feeling better? Good, now what do we have on the agenda today?" Discorded walked to the pile of moon dust that use to be a pile of rocks and stared down at it as the Nightmare did, breathing hard. The mare looked to her side and glared.

She wanted nothing more than to pounce on him once more and rip him to shreds. However she wasn't mad anymore, it felt so useless to be. In fact she almost wanted to just collapse right there and cry.

Again. Like so many times before.

But that's how he got her the first time. A kind word there, a shoulder to offer and padded paw on the head stroking, like he was sorry about it all. She wasn't going to humour him anymore. Enough was enough.

"Hey where're you going?" Discord called out in the distance as Nightmare moon went further and further into the tiny horizon.

"Since you won't treat me right I'm going to find a real mate." She was easily heard by the already vast (ish) distance she had covered, her Royal Canterlot Voice echoing into the eternity around her.

(Bing-bong-boon-boon.

Female attendee: We have stopped your regular fiction reading for an INB4 announcement.

Author: Yes, for some reason you can be heard in space, deal with it. We're already breaking canon by having them all be on the moon and not die of various space related deaths involving, solar winds and radiation, lack of atmosphere, low air pressure and whatever pedantic buck could be thrown in the mix. Take your headcanon up the butt where it belongs

Female: we can continue your scheduled fiction reading).

"You're not going to be seeing that moon rock again aren't you? You said you wouldn't cheat on me anymore." Discord had appeared beside the mare, looking to the Nightmare's pleasure, quite worried.

"Skippy, isn't just a moon rock." Nightmare moon said haughtily. "He's a really good listener." Flaring her horn with power she vanished before his eyes. He'd follow if he could but Skippy had always been a good hider too and now he was no doubt getting lucky with his girl.

In annoyance Discord kicked a moon rock with his cloven hoof and watched it fly up in the sky ever so slowly.

Discord's ears twitched as a strange howling filled the air. It was coming from behind him and suddenly the dully lit moonscape began to illuminate. For a the first time in awhile he could see his own shadow. Seeing as he appeared in front of him, he could tell the light coming from behind.

The rather loud screaming? Nope, didn't occur to him that it was coming from that direction too.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Looking skyward he could see a Rainbow arching towards him.

"Oh my me! They've come to finish me off." Despite teleporting being the more logically sound option of escape Discord instead ran, as fast as he could to avoid the spectral beam of light that was howling for him. Being stuck on the moon was one thing but being stuck on the moon and imprisoned in stone was not his idea of fun.

It was no use however, at the velocity it came and by the time Discord had noticed, the beam had hit him dead on.

His body racked with pain and his vision was filled with white light. A moment past and he groaned. Another moment and beside him, he felt and heard something shuffle. It moaned with the most demonic voice.

"Nightmare?"

Slowly he opened his eyes and looking down on him was a weird black pony-like creature.

"You! Where am I?" Her, he at least assumed it to be a her, spoke with a feminine voice. It's jagged horn glowing with power. Power that was threatening to be unleashed on him.

Discord could feel a smile forming on his face.

"Did you like bananas?"

Author's Note

Nothing really comedic happened (yet). Sue me.

if you haven't noticed.

Nightmare is OCD
And Discord is nonconformist to common sense.

Heart complications

"Did you like bananas?" Discord said with a smile. There he was with a powerful magical being that was willing to vapourise him out of existence, and he was smiling at it.

"W-what?" Oh look, he struck a chord. The changeling queen faltered with her intent to kill and for a brief moment lost the concentration of her magic. By the time she refocused, he had already gone.

"My my, such a delicate wing span." Chrysalis turned her head around to see the creature taking a claw and paw at her right wing, spreading it out from its folded position. He marvelled at it long enough to burn into green flamed cinders.

"And holes on your hooves..." He tsked at the craftsmanship. "You poor dear." Discord slithered out of her reach as green flames engulfed her body.

"And black colours." Discord made it all to clear his disdain through his disembodied voice.

Chrysalis, jolted as a loud slap came to her rump, ruining her concentration again, forcing her flames to sputter and die.

"No red though... well I guess there's that." Discord paw groped up and down her flank, patting her with satisfaction.

"Ah... I guess I spoke too soon." Chrysalis was blushing her black face into a deep and dark crimson. The love she was getting was a strange and alien flavour, but hungrily she took it.

Turning around she met the creature face to face. Their eyes met. Coolly Discord made a show of his burnt paw and merely blew on it. The charred flesh and bone blew away like ashes replaced by a paw that was as good as new. With that paw Discord held the mare's forehoof and with his claw he held her other hoof.

Willingly she let him lead her into a slow waltz, for some reason a saxophone was playing in the background with soft chords of an accordion, coupled with a pipe organ.

"Tell me...You ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" Chrysalis only blushed deeper, her eyes looking deeply into him. His eyes into her that mirrored the reflection of himself.

Her green eyes began to glow and in reaction Discord's eyes became hypnotically rippling outward.

With a flash of green light that could even been seen on Equestria below, energy beams exploded out from Chrysalis's eyes and right into Discord's eyes charring them into two black holes.

"£%&*! You %$^%$! ^&^^$&6!65%*&%&%(&^(^(*^&%%(&%!!!!!!!" All over Equestria that night, parents were covering the ears of their foals.

And each other if they could help it.

*******************

"And that's what happened. Me and him are over now. Nothing will keep us apart." Nightmare moon nuzzled Skippy by his little snout, propping his tiny self up by the hooves so he could reach her.

"Ah... I missed this. This silence. The quiet. Just you and me and the pale moonlight." Nightmare had done all the things she had done. Scratch poetry into nearby rock faces about how and why she won't or can't die, marking the time at first in seconds, then minutes, then hours and pretty soon she'll be marking her first day. Just nine-hundred and ninety-nine more years and a bit to go. Yup, just a little bit of this and she and Skippy will return triumphant to bring Equestria into eternal night. Oh how she would laugh at that moment.

Nightmare moon laid there for awhile, counting the stars in her mane. It was so romantic with Skippy there, not trying to piss her off with nonsense.

"Well... aren't you gonna say anything?" Nightmare moon said to her new lover. She understood that he tended to be the quiet type, but a good relationship is borne of the foundation of good communication.

Skippy said nothing. He didn't even move.

"Skippy? You're kinda scaring me now." Nightmare moon took her close into her bosom. He was stone cold!

"Skippy!?" Nightmare moon pulled his snout closer. He wasn't breathing.

"Skipping. If this is one of your jokes, skipping you're being kinda. You're hurting my feelings." No reply.

The Nightmare put Skippy to the ground and to her relief he showed enough strength to stand. However, he still wasn't talking so maybe he was unconscious while standing up for some reason.

"You're making my heart hurt. You're giving heart complications" Tears were beginning to form in the Nightmare's eyes.

"Are you still mad at me? Was it that comment about your mother and the circus? I didn't mean that honest." Lu-Nightmare moon crouched down to look him face to face, eye to eye, down on his level. Tears were still in her eyes. Whether it was her being upset or the dust on the ground, she couldn't really tell.

"I was just mad at the time. I'm sure your mother is beautiful and lovely. After all she gave birth to a handsome son like you. Who's sensitive and good at listening and really good with his body. OOOOooh Remember that time Skippy? You remember? It was amazing and I'm not just saying so like with Discord."

The moon rock had nothing to say to her.

"Please just say something. I'll do anything for you. Even that thing I thought was kinda gross before." Lu-Nightmare moon rose up to shake her flank at him seductively. If there was a pony in Equestria that wouldn't react to this then they wouldn't have a soul.

Skippy however seemed to be the only one on the moon with such an iron will as to resist Lu-Nightmare moon's regal highly worshipped flank.

"Skippy please. Say anything. Anything and you can have all of this" Lu-Nightmare moon was now gyrating her hips, mere millimetre away from the stubborn mate, as was her masterful control of that fine ass. The rival of all Equestria.

"What's that?" It was either just the wind or Skippy had said something.

It was a whisper, Nightmare moon thought.

Leaning low and putting her ear to Skippy's mouth, she heard the words.

"Your friends are so dead."

Kicking the rock a few leagues over the horizon she shouted at it.

"*&^> You SKIPPY" With her piece said she turned around stomping towards the lighter side of the moon.

I hate you less than stuff

Discord wasn't such a bad errr... him. He was just a bit of a tease a lot of the time. Skippy was the jerk, never a kind word to say, never any expression of love. The jerk was just a user that wanted to get his rock offs her, and then go and hang out with his rock buddies so he could brag about doing things with her, a good princess would never do. He lived the rock star lifestyle of sex, drugs and rock n roll when was around, living off of her with little favours, snorting flank and rolling in her curves and plumpness while she worked on their relationship. It was all her, giving her all and he would just take take take.

"I can't believe I was with that jerk for a thousands years." Luna (sticking with it, dealing with it) mumbled as she began walking towards the glow of the bright glow of Equestria. She stopped for a moment and turned around where she had left Skippy to think on what he's done.

"There's more to a good mate than being hard all the time!" She shouted in his general direction. As ever, he gave no response. She resumed her walk, dejected and eyes downcast, almost afraid that if she looked up she'd see him, begging to change, promising to treat her better. All the usual lies that damn Skippy used to get her back by his side. She never did ever win against that. She was a real foal for mates that were below her.

Almost as if someone pitiful like her was capable of pitying another being, as if she'd know what it'd be like to be love something because of her mercy.

"At least Discord gave me cotton candy and chocolate milk..." For that... maybe she could hate him a little less than anyone in the whole moon.

"£%&*! You %$^%$! ^&^^$&6!65%*&%&%(&^(^(*^&%%(&%!!!!!!!" Luna's ears perked up at the sound.

"That was Discord!"

For reasons she couldn't fathom she was galloping, focused on the never moving horizon, hoping that soon in the distance she'll see him.

By Celestia that stung. Sure his eyes were good as new and everything, all the acid had been cleaned off and all the feeling returned to him. But his heart was hurt.

"I mean honestly dearie, is that how you treat everyone who wants to says a little greeting?"

"Om gomma ommm ooooo!" With a snap of his fingers Chrysalis was gagged, blindfolded and shackled by the limbs. Her horn flashed and whizzed about firing off magic in random directions. Her ears twitched in several directions to find her target but with those ear plugs she was as good as deaf.

"Now Chrissy my dear. Can I call you chrissy? You look like a Bob so I presume you're enough of a good natured Bob to allow it." Discord wanted to admit his digression but he'd forgotten his original intent.

"Discord!" A loud echoing and strangely layered voice sounded into the distance. He knew right away that it was Nightmare moon, coming back after her little fling with mr rock star. Why were rockers always gettin' the ladies? He could be hip too if he really wanted. He had one somewhere along his serpentine body.

She'd show her.

"You jelly?" Discord said while he laid on the ground, a creature that looked like a mare peppering his bird-like claw with love bites. Really passionate love bites.

"Who's that?" Luna said as calmly as she could, trying her best to not betray any emotions. Mainly because she couldn't pick between enraged, confused or just sad.

"Just a new friend. As you can see, she can't keep herself away." Discord was already down to the his elbow with his paw limb, while the stub that was his griffon claw had already gone down to his... shoulder? With hatred and hunger, the changeling queen brought canines rending upon him. Discord made no sign in noticing.

"What are you doing back? Did the moon rock leave you already?" He knew he guessed right as Luna looked away blushing. Well it was either that or his sexy new partner's kinky ways were too much for her to look at. It was cool, he didn't need a heart anyway.

"I..." She wanted to say she wanted things to go back to the way they were but things are different now. Somehow he'd magicked a new mare to his side. He didn't need her as much as she needed him right now.

And that just ticked her off all over again.

"I came to say you're on my side of the moon." Luna's horn glowed with power. She floated there suspended with magic as the moon rotated so that the darkside was on the light side and Discord was on the darkside.

She had hoped that it'd hurt him somehow. But in reaction, the instant before he vanished over the other side of the world, he was smiling.

"... You're such a jerk." Everyone was, she shoulda known she only needed herself to be happy.

She thought she was alone, forever and ever on this side of the moon while in the dark everyone was having a ball. But just behind her, there was someone there watching her cry in plain sight, as clear as day.

He felt nothing for her pain. Content to just keeping that stoic grin on his face as he looked at her sobbing her heart out..

Author's Note

no comedy.

laugh at my feeble attempt.