The Forgotten Legends

by Uncanny Alchemist

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 9235

They were a myth, a legend. An invisible threat to the young stallion, but now their paths are about to cross.

Three years have past since that dreadful day, Three years of wandering, aimlessly across the world, desperately searching for the one thing that could solve his problems. Now the young stallion believes he has found the solution to his problem, but a ancient, once forgotten group of ponies fear that this stallion might get in the way of their quest to accomplish their masters goal.

Created by: Uncanny Alchemist
Written by: Uncanny Alchemist and Thespian Lights
Edited by: Thespian Lights

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-05-05 03:40:02 UTC

The Arrival

Wha... What happened?  Where Am I?... Am... Am I... Dead? These thoughts raced within the young stallion’s mind as his vision clears. The cold ground against his skin sent a chill throughout his body. He rolls over onto his back to get a view of his surroundings.  Dark, damp, and obscured, the only source of light that let him see through the depressing darkness was a single candle that lay on the floor, casting a faint glow that struggled to ward off the darkness.

Old textbooks are scattered across the floor, the tables in the room were either overturn or broken, and a red liquid-like substance covers the room from floor to ceiling. At first the young stallion was confused as to what this strange liquid was, but it soon became clear that the substance was blood. He turns his head to see a mangled and macob body lying on the floor just a few feet away from him. The horrendous sight startled him and the revolting smell from the corpse was enough to make him vomit all over the blood stained floor.

He wipes his lips and attempts to get up, for he didn’t have any desire to lie in a puddle of vomit and blood all night long. He raises himself up with his forelegs, and his hindlegs followed or at least they should of.  "Why can't I move my hind-legs?" He turns his head and becomes paralyzed by his discovery. There was nothing left of his hind-legs except for two disfigured, bare-boned, bloody wounds. His knee caps are visible and both wounds are bleeding profusely.

A lump forms in his throat, making it difficult to swallow. His lower lip quivers as he attempts to say something, but each time his mouth opens, only silence emerged. No... This wasn't suppose to happen... It all started to come back to him now; he and his sister had screwed up, badly. “Xenon?” He hadn’t seen his sister since he had awoken; He had no idea where she was. “She didn’t…No Xenon!" he yelled disparately hoping she would reply and his worst fear of her being killed or vaporized were nothing more than a mere fantasy formed out of fear. "XENON!" he yelled again, but an eerie silence was the only reply that came back.

Seconds pass and he finally got his long overdue reply "Brother!"  A voice called, almost demonic in nature. It sounded as though it was in an ungodly amount of pain. It was coming from the dark corner of the room were the candle’s light could not touch.

The stallion took a hold of the candle and waved it over towards the darkness to illuminate whatever had replied to him. What he saw plunged a dagger deep into his heart. A once beautiful mare, his sister, had been turned into a glob of flesh and bone surrounded by a pool of blood. Her once beautiful mane, fur, and skin all stripped from her body. The fleshy body left behind was nothing more than muscle and organs, which were luckily still held in by a thin lining or bones. The divine powers that be must smile upon her, but how long would they continue to grin was the question. Her eyes are filled with pain and fear. She chokes and gargles loudly. Only bits and pieces where understandable, “Sooorry… My faaault… for… brother.”

"Xenon!" The Stallion said fearing that she might die at any moment crawls frantically over to her. He didn't care about his well being or worsening his own wounds for his sister’s demanded his immediate attention.

"I'm sorry." Were the last semi-clear words she managed to say before her body fell limp.

"No.” he whispers softly, reaching out for her body. Hot tears stream down his face as he cries on, “No, No... NO! DAMMIT! It’s my fault this happened I should have never pressured you into this." He managed to make it over to his sister body and checked her open Jugular vein for a pulse. It lied still and her breathing had settled. " NO! DON'T DIE ON ME"  He quickly lies her gently down on the ground and begins doing compression's on her chest to get her blood flowing throughout her body, but all it did was make matters worse. Her rip cage cracked loudly with each compression and fearing that he might break through and damage her vital organs he forces himself to stop, "DAMMIT! Dammit! No! no!' As the stallion starts to cry over his sisters dead body, but at that moment, when all hope to save his sister seemed lost. An idea had popped into his head. He takes some of his own blood from his wounded hind-leg and manages to pry open her rib cage. He smears an oddly looking circle over the Xenon's heart. "God I don't care what you take. It can be my forehooves, eyes, skin, I don't care. JUST GIVE ME BACK MY SISTER!" upon saying this he clapped his hooves together, and then pressed them down on his sister's heart. The bloody circle glowed, illuminating the whole room with a blinding white light.

“This has to work.” He tells himself softly as a warm tear falls upon Xenon’s heart, “It has to.”

                                                                                    The Arrival

            The stallion had awoken from his nightmare. The whistle of the train rattles his eardrums as he looks out the window of his train cart. A buspony passes by him, "Excuse me?" he calls out to the stallion.

"Yes?" The stallion turns to meet him, "What can I do for you, sir?" He gives him a content smile.

"This is Ponyville right? Home of the Princess?" The stallion stares at him, as though he had asked him a stupid question, like where the bathroom was on this train or where they were.

"I don't think we have any princesses around here,” he moves to the widow and points out towards the city that sat upon the mountain in the distance, “except Canterlot."  The grey Stallion rubs his face; he was irritated by the fact that the stallion had not heard the news.

Of course he hasn't, it's only been three to four day's since the news, and it hasn't spread among the hoi polloi yet, "Twilight Sparkle? The librarian of this town who became a princess."  He had heard of rumors from all over Equestria that this local mare, who had once been a unicorn, had become an alicorn princess. Alicorn's are beings of divine power so surly this one could help him with his, problem. Thanks to the locals, or at least thanks to the ones with open ears, He had gained a lead that led him to this small town.

"Who?"  The grey stallion rises up from his seat, brushes off his black shirt, and grabs his blue cloak; it snaps loudly as he pins it around his neck.  He was tired of playing twenty questions with this idiot, and made his way off of the train.

Upon exiting, he was surprised to see that Ponyville was fairly similar to the villages in his country. Small independent houses scattered throughout the town, a library, a city hall in the center of the town; although the river that flowed through the town was a rarity for some parts of his country. The designs, materials, and architecture of the buildings were different, but it was setup the same way.

The wind blows gently against his face, making the black side of his mane dangle in front of his eyes while the white side flowed freely out into the air. He tightens the two identical bracelets on his hoof, both are grey and contain red gemstones in there slots.

The big tree in the distance should be a good place to start, looks as though it holds some sort of importance in this town. He thought as he travels down the dirt road.

He didn’t get far, for a strange pink mare, with a cerise cotton candy style mane and tail was jumping around rather joyfully in the middle of the road. He stops and stares at the pony trying to figure out what she was attempting to do, if anything. Suddenly she stops hopping and stares at him with her head tilted.

A long awkward silence ensued as they stared at each other; it was strange, if not flat out creepy for the stallion. He felt extremely uncomfortable. Suddenly she gasps loudly, as if in disbelief, and runs up to the stallion faster than the speed of sound, taking a hold of his right hoof, and proceeds to shake it violently at a fast pace. "Hi! My name is Pinkie Pie." She said in a high pitch voice that spoke like a tape recorder on fast forward.

"Um... Argon...nice to uh... meet... you.” He replied uneasily.

She stops shaking his hoof and grins at him, shooting out rays of joy and sunshine that sent a tingle up and down Argon’s spine. This only disturbed him even more, giving him a strong urge to get away, but he couldn’t for he didn’t want to seem rude, so he just smiled back…uneasily. Moments pass by and the awkwardness of the situation was too much for Argon to take any longer. He slowly turns around and trots away, thinking that their conversation is over, but then the oddest thing happened. The mare started following him. "So how are you?" She asked out of the clear blue.

"Uh, fine I guess." It was as if he set off a chain reaction, except instead of chemicals exploding it was questions, "What do you like to do? How long are you going to be here? What do you like to play? Why are you so short if you're a Stallion? Do you like games? Have you had a party yet? What's with the cape and clothing? Are you Batstallion or something?" She unbuttons the cape around his neck and stands upon her hindlegs, covering her body and most of her face, except her eyes, with the cape, "I am the night!"

"Give me that!" Argon, annoyed by her antics, yanks the cape out of her forehooves and reattaches it around his neck. Either she was ignorant or didn’t care that Argon was annoyed, Argon thought the latter for she just kept talking.

Her level of annoyance was off the charts; Argon thought if he spent another second around this mare he'd go crazy and strangle her to death. I'm pretty sure the guards would understand, but best not to take that chance.

He started running. Running as fast as he could from the mare, but somehow, someway she managed to keep up with him, and ask a thousand more questions at the same time! Following him everywhere he ran from street to street, from alleyway to alleyway, she even followed him into the little colt's room! "Ah! Don’t you know anything about privacy?" There was no escape. He could never get away from her. He had only been in the town for two minutes before he met this mare, and it took her only twenty to run him out.

He just ran and ran and ran hoping to escape, but there was no escape. Not only was this pink menace chasing after him, but he was lost too! The only clue that he was given was that he was surrounded by apple trees. "Argon, Where are you?" She yelled in a singsong voice.

"God! Can’t you leave me alone?" Off in the distance there was a barn; it was his only chance. He sprinted frantically toward the barn. He glances behind his shoulder and is both terrified and amazed at how the mare was catching up to him, just by hopping. Not even a jackrabbit hops that fast!

He made it! But that wasn't good enough he needed a place to hide. He entered the barn and looked around fearfully. "The barrel!" without knowing what substance was in the barrel he jumps in. A splash of yellow-clear liquid ends up on the ground, "Oh, god!" The day just kept getting worse and worse for poor Argon, "It had to be a pee barrel didn't it? Didn't it!? He whimpers to himself quietly, for he didn’t want Pinkie to find him.

Minutes pass and nopony enters the barn. The only sound being produced was that of the pee inside of the barrel being sloshed around.

Then the door suddenly creaks open and a mare steps into the dark barn, "AHHHHHHHH!" Argon screams for he knew the inevitable barrage of questions would be coming soon.

"What in tarnation! What tha hay are ya'll doin' in ma barn?” The voice wasn’t that of Pinkie’s. In fact it sounded more like a heavy stereotypical southern accent, perhaps too stereotypical.

Argon stops screaming, "Wait a minute?" he observes the new mare. Her coat obviously not pink, but orange, and her mane and tail are blonde, not cerise. "Oh, heh heh about that," he rubs the back of his head, feeling embarrassed by the situation he had just presented himself in. He gives the new mare a sheepish smile, “Hopefully you’ll let me explain how I got here.”

   "Please do, I’d certainly love ta know what ya’ll are doin’ in ma cider barrel." She taps her right hoof impatiently.

"Good it isn't pee.” Argon lets out a sigh of relief. “Well you see I was being chased by this pink psycho mare who kept asking me a billion questions at the speed of light. I think her name was... “

"Pinkie Pie?" The mare finished.

"You know her?" Argon said a little shocked as he climbed out of the barrel.

"Yeah, everypony knows her. In fact she's ma friend, although she is a little weird."

Argon, frustrated by the statement, covers his face with a hoof to keep himself calm. “A little weird” The words didn’t blend well inside of Argon’s head. It was an extreme understatement and Argon knew it, for nopony could handle the unpredictable, unstable Pinkie Pie. "She followed me around constantly asking questions, most of which were rhetorical, and she even went into the bathroom with me! Don't even get me started on the questions she had on," rises up onto his hindlegs and moves his forehooves up and down twice as he finishes, "Stallionhood."

The mare gives him a confused gaze, "Uh."

"That's exactly what I said!" He interrupted.

"Anyway," She rubs the back of her neck, "The name’s Applejack what's yours?"

"Argon" he said calmly as he walks past Applejack and cautiously peers outside. Again he sees the same large apple orchard from before, minus the pink menace. "You have a very large farm, Ms. Jack." He says as he walks out to fully survey the landscape out of curiosity and fear, fear of ‘her’ returning.

"Yes, sirey we got one of the largest apple orchards in all of Equestria." She had every right to be proud.

Apple trees cover as far as the eyes could see and possible beyond, whom knows how many acres are owned by this mare. He thought as he continues to scan the horizon. What is that? He notices what appeared to be a black stallion with red hair standing upon a hill in the distance next to a few apple trees. Argon felt troubled as though he meant him harm, yet he was so far away, and showed no signs of aggression, he just stood there, observing.

"We also make some of tha finest Apple fritters you could ever taste." Applejack continues on, oblivious to the stallion in the distance.

“Maybe he’s not real,” Argon whispered to himself for it was possible that after all that running the stallion he sees in the distance could be nothing more than a mere hallucination formed by his oxygen deprived brain. Argon turns his head to Applejack, he knew she was real, so maybe by looking at something real the stallion would fade away, fade out of his mind. He looks back at the hillside, no stallion. "Did... did I just imagine that?"

"Imagine what sugar cube?" asked Apple jack.

"N-Nothing it’s probably just nothing." It must have been an illusion, that's it-it was just an illusion. Argon reassured himself. “Now then back to business.” He stated as he remembers the reason why he had come to Ponyville in the first place, to find out information on the princess’ location. Argon turns around and presents Applejack with a friendly smile, "If no more distraction are to emerge from the horizon, and stay at bay until I get my questions answered I would find it sincerely helpful if you could help me find somepony, her name is-" before he could finish the pink haired demon popped up from underneath the ground, like a gopher. "There you are! I've been looking all over for you, silly billy." she says in her usual high pitched cheerful tone.

"Oh Crap!" Argon forgets about his question and let’s his instincts tell him what to do, and they said run! He knew it would only delay the inevitable, but delaying it was better than accepting it. He looks over his shoulder to see if Pinkie was following him, and sure enough she was hopping after him. “Get away from me you pink stalker!” he yells.

“Stalker? But I’m not slendermane.” She stops and taps her chin, “or am I?” she asks herself, with a perplexed look upon her face.

Argon looks over his shoulder again; the pink monstrosity was nowhere in sight now. Finally! He thought. I can stop running. He comes to an abrupt halt to catch his breath. The sudden quick sprint took a lot out of him. He pants heavily as he wipes some of the sweat off of his forehead with a hoof, and constantly looks back to make sure she didn’t catch him off guard like last time.

“Duck!” a voice cried out. Argon looks up to see a light blue Pegasus pony with a rainbow mane heading right for him.

“You’re not a duck; you’re a-“She slams into Argon and land on top of him. “Pegasus pony” he managed to wheeze out as the last bit of air left his lungs.

"Sorry about that" she looks up at another Pegasus mare, this one was grey in color and had a blonde mane and tail. She was still flying in the air with a dazed look on her face as though she had no idea what as to what had happened "Derpy!” The rainbow one cries out sternly, “watch where you’re flying"

"Sorry, Rainbow Dash!” The grey Pegasus yells back with an innocent look upon her face, as though she didn’t know any better.

"Sorry about that I was just flying around and..."

“Yeah that sounds nice and all…” Argon interrupts as he inhales sharply, struggling to breathe with the full weight of Rainbow Dash crushing his rib cage, “but please get off… crushing me!”

"Oh Argon, Where are you?" Pinkie finally having decided that she was…Pinkie and not slendermane was hot on Argon’s tail once again.

Argon suddenly had a change in tune, “Please continue crushing me to death.”  He begged, but Rainbow Dash had already stepped off of him and approached Pinkie Pie.

“Hey Pinkie, what are you up to?” Rainbow Dash asks the pink creature of annoyance as her wings fold to her sides.

“Oh nothing, I’m just playing a wonderful game of tag with my new friend, Argon.” She giggles happily as Argon’s face shrivels up like a prune. “Oh that’s a good one, but I bet you can’t make your face as crazy as this one!” She turns around and begins to rearrange her facial structure, somehow. When she turns around her face looks flat out creepy. Her snout protrudes from her skull farther than a normal pony’s. And those eyes, they were enlarged to the point where it look like she was some king of alien.

Argon shoots up off the ground and yells angrily at Pinkie, “Ah! Why don’t you just stop, shut up, and go away!”

“Are we having a yelling contest? Ooh! Ooh! Listen to this!” Pinkie takes a deep breath and lets it all out in one yell, “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Argon and Rainbow Dash hold on to the ground tightly as the sound of Pinkie’s voice shakes the planet and removes the leaves from all the trees surrounding them. The force of her voice was so powerful that Argon could hardly believe it, crazy and dangerous; yeah that’s the best kind of pony.

Argon and Rainbow Dash’s manes where suspended in the air,  Argon’s ears where ringing so loudly he could barely hear anything and he would probably win the lottery if he guessed that Rainbow Dash was feeling the same after-effects from Pinkie’s scream. Argon forces his eyes to blink and uses his hooves to pry open his locked jaw. He tried to take a step forward, but he was petrified at the sheer, raw power Pinkie had displayed and any movements nearly sent him crashing down to onto his face. It was frightening.

“Whoopsies!” She giggles like a little school filly, “Pretty loud, huh?” Argon stares at her in disbelief. She was unaffected by her own scream, she didn’t even flinch. Pinkie just shrugged off any after-effects like they were nothing and continued to be her normal self, if being crazy was considered normal.

“Yeah! That was pretty loud Pinkie!” Rainbow Dash yelled loudly. “My ears are still ringing after that one! “ Rainbow Dash elbows Argon in the ribs, he doesn’t react. “I think you broke your new friend Pinkie!”

“You,” Argon began slowly, “You ponies are…Insane!” To praise such a feat by Pinkie Pie was like encouraging a criminal to commit diabolical acts of evil.

Pinkie Pie giggles loudly, “Oh Argon your funny. We’re not insane, in fact were the sanest ponies in town.”

“Oh God.” He groaned loudly as he rubbed his temples gently for he could feel the sting of a headache lurking. If these two were the sanest, then the rest of Argon’s trip to Ponyville will be filled with more agonizing misery.

“Who’s God?” Pinkie inquired, but before Argon could answer her she formed her own conclusion as to who God was, “Is he some kind of mystical pony that flies across the sky at night dropping presents off at all the good little fillies and colts homes and those that have been bad get a rotten cupcake…Oh no my cupcakes are burning!” Pinkie zooms past Rainbow Dash and Argon faster than the speed of light back to Ponyville.

“I’m not going to question that.” Argon turns to look at Rainbow Dash, “Now then, I presume you’re Ra-“

“Rainbow Dash?”  She exhales loudly on her right forehoof and rubs it against her chest, “Yeah, you heard right. I’m Equestria’s most loyal, fastest, and heroic Pegasus.” She shot an arrogant grin at Argon, as though she half-expected him to bow down and worship her like a goddess.

“You forgot egotistical too,” Argon said aloud, for he knew she wouldn’t know what the word meant.

“What?” She gives him a bewildered look just as expected, “that sounds like a word an egghead would use, you’re not an egghead are you?”

“Never mind,” He dismisses both the question and his previous statement, “I would ask of you a favor Rainbow Dash. Could you please fly me back to town?” It’s not that Argon would enjoy being lifted by the underhooves all the way back to Ponyville, but it was the quickest way and the sun was bound to set soon, and he didn’t see a faster and more accurate way back to town.

Her arrogant grin returned; irradiating her cocky behavior once again, “Certainly! After all I’m here to help defenseless pony folk such as you.”

“Supercilious!” Argon coughs loudly with his hoof over his mouth; luckily the blue Pegasus didn’t hear, even though the word would be unknown to her. Rainbow Dash picks Argon up and ascends into the air.

The view Argon saw as he soared slowly through the sky was filled with awe and astonishment for the beauty it held was unrivaled. The sun’s bright orange hue distorted the environment below, forcing it to bask in orange. The river flowing from Canterlot, to Ponyville, and then beyond reflected the light back at the sun in a glistening sparkle that made it appear as though it was made purely out of diamonds, The capital, Canterlot, irradiated with a unique beauty, a tranquil beauty as the rays seemed to focus its glare perfectly upon it, and the sky is shared by both the sun and the moon who stand opposite to each other on the horizon. A gentle cool breeze blew against his face. It relaxed him. It brought him joy; it brought him memories for it was a day similar to this one. Back in his hometown, upon a hill he once sat with someone he cared for, someone who he has now lost, and promised them that he would protect them no matter what and he would never put them in harm’s way. It was an empty promise, shattered by ignorance and a false sense of control.

“Here we are.” Rainbow suddenly drops Argon onto the ground. He snaps back to reality just in time to land on all four hooves. “Hope I’ll be seeing you around, Argon.” She swiftly flies away before he had a chance to thank her.

He looks up at the dying sky and whispers, “I promise,” a tear runs down his right cheek, “I’ll fix this.”  Now he just had to find the library again and talk to this Alicorn Princess. “Now then which way is the library?” He scans the horizon looking for that large tree that he had sighted earlier.

“What cha looking for?” a familiar voice called out from behind him.

Argon swings himself around and comes face-to-face with the pink terror for the millionth time this day. “I thought your cupcakes where burning?”

“What cupcakes? Oh you mean the cupcakes in the fridge…well funny story actu-“Argon shoves his forehoof into Pinkie’s mouth and shakes his head while mouthing the word no. “O yay I’ll well yooh ladder,” she mumbled gibberish

“What?” Argon removes his hoof so Pinkie could make sense of her words, if that was even possible.

“I said: Oh, Yay I’ll well you ladder, duh!” Argon just stares at her for a second in confusion, but shakes it off. He walks past her, maybe if he was lucky, emphasis on lucky, he could ignore her stupid little remarks and questions, but god knows he’s tried that before. Argon looks behind his shoulder to see her following him like before, bouncing happily up and down off the ground at supernatural heights, but something was different, she was silent.

“Uh? Aren’t you going to ask me anything or annoy me? “Argon started to pray that he hadn’t jinxed it.

Pinkie stops bouncing and taps her right hoof against her chin, thinking, “Nope!” she exclaims loudly before continuing to defy gravity by bouncing high into the air.

“Well, good I prefer you this way.” Argon smiled happily knowing that Pinkie Pie was no longer going to be a problem, well not a problem, but more or less a nuisance, a pest.

Pinkie turns her head in confusion and gives Argon a puzzled look while still bouncing, “What way?”

Here it comes. Argon thought as realized what his statement had created, annoyance. Now she was going to start up the old who, what, where, why, and how question machine again, and throw the switch on overdrive. “I mean I prefer you as a silent pony and not asking fifty thousand questions per second.”. Surely Pinkie Pie is a reasonable pony, capable of understanding this and is mature enough to respect my need for…peace. She still seems confused though.

“I don’t understand. I’m not being silent. I’m talking to you.” Pinkie pauses for a second and gasps loudly, “Oh my gosh! Is it opposite day?”

Argon, upon hearing this ridicules rhetoric escape from Pinkie’s mouth, trips over his hooves and falls onto the hard ground. “You’ve got to be kidding,” he mumbles into the dirt. Maybe if I just lie here long enough she’ll think I’m dead and go away.

“Now it all makes sense, by saying I was silent when I wasn’t you meant I was talkative so because it’s opposite day and silent, means not silent then by saying that I was silent you meant I was talking, but I wasn’t talking, well except to answer you, then what you said was right or did you mean I was silent before I was talkative… What are you doing on the ground silly?”

“Studying ants! What do you think Pinkie?” Argon mumbles from the ground again before getting up.

Pinkie tilts her head and raises an eyebrow, “You dropped your cupcake?”

“I didn’t even have a… you know what, never mind” Argon dusts himself off and trots away, “I going to the library with your annoying comments or without them. I don’t care anymore, because today I learned that you’re insane.”

“The library’s the other way silly.” Pinkie turns around and points towards the tree behind her. Argon turns around and trots past her and mutters a thank you, “You’re welcome.” Her face glows with a happy smile as she continues to follow Argon.

"Oh dear Celestia you look terrible " blurted out a voice from nowhere.

Argon looks around and finds that the voice had come from a stunting, beautiful young mare. “Whoa!” Argon checks his breathe and fixes his mane as he sees the mare trotting up to him. Looks like this country is worth visiting after all. Argon straightens his posture and attempts to look professional as the mare stops in front of him and begins to study him, a little weird, but all countries’ courtship styles were different in one way or another he guessed.

Her white coat sparkled in the dying sunlight; it appeared as though she was made out of the smoothest silk in existence, one touch would send you to paradise. Her mane and tail were groomed to perfection, not a single hair was out of place. And her moderate azure eyes were like expensive jewels that nopony was allowed to touch. She was indeed a beautiful mare, not too bad looking, but in my travels around the world I’ve seen other mares that go out of their way to look this good, so she’s nothing too special. Of course none of the other’s ever approached him.

“You look absolutely dreadful darling!” She cries out loudly.

Argon legs become weak and his posture falls flat. In a attempt to still seem semi-professional he puts on a false, uneasy smile and remarks sarcastically, “Gee, thanks for that,” if there was one thing Argon hoped that was true out of Pinkie Pie’s randomness, it was probably that opposite day in Ponyville was a real holiday and that’s why this mare said what she said, but apparently his streak of misfortune had to continue.

“Hi, Rarity!” Pinkie waves to Rarity by flailing her arms about frantically. “Rarity hi hi, Rarity over here Rarity!” apparently Rarity knew that Pinkie would only stop if she said hello.

“Hello Pinkie, now darling,” Rarity turns back to Argon, “your outfit is so… bland and your mane is tacky; not to mention you smell.” She covers her nose and averts her eyes from Argon’s direction.

Argon sniffs his underhoof, he didn’t smell that bad, at least not enough to draw attention from anypony, “I don’t smell that bad.”

“Yes, well it’s the smells you can’t smell that smell the worst darling,” Argon stares at Rarity with a confused gaze for what Ms. Rarity had just stated was…puzzling.

Don’t tell me this town is full of recolored, alternate personality Pinkie Pies He looks at Pinkie then Rarity. One is enough.

“Oh, forgive me for I’m getting ahead of myself. My name is Miss Rarity, Owner of the Carousel Boutique, and creator of Equestria’s finest and most authentic dresses, gowns, and suits. Who might I have the honor of meeting?”Rarity lowers herself slightly to curtsy.

“Um, Argon, owner of the clothes on my back and uh, creator of… nothing,”

"Oh, this simply will not do.” Rarity stated as she raises her head high and strikes a pose, “Come I’ll fix you up." As she turns around to trot away, Argon is enveloped in a light cornflower blue aura and is dragged across the ground after her. “Now then darling we must get you inside where I can work my magic and get that dreadful outfit off of you.” The aura dissipates and Argon has control over his movements again

"Um... okay." said Argon confused as to what was actually going on.

Rarity opens the door to and building and trots in, apparently it was the Carousel Boutique and he was supposed to follow her inside. He steps in cautiously and looks around to observe the interior of the building, but no sooner had he entered he was thrown into a chair. Rarity uses her magic to unbutton Argon’s cape, slide the two bracelets on his hooves off, and removes his black shirt. “Uh, is this really necessary, Miss Rarity?” Argon blushes heavily.

“Of course! How else am I to fix up you’re disaster area?” She pulls a lever and the chair reclines back. Argon eyes met a fancy faucet of some kind embedded with jewels and colored gold, or maybe it was actually pure gold, he wasn’t sure.

A voice, obviously belonging to someone really young, a filly, addresses Rarity. "Hey sis can we borrow... um why is there a stranger in our house. I mean I know you have a lot of customers and all, but I’ve never seen this guy before… He looks kinda dirty is he a hobo or something?"

“I’m not a hobo. I’m…” Argon attempts to reply, but was apparently ignored, since Miss Rarity decided to interrupt.

“Sweetie Belle! That’s rude to assume such a thing, even though I did find him wandering the streets dressed in rags…”

“Hey!” Argon shouted in retaliated for he resented that remark.

Rarity continues regardless of Argon’s protest, “and he is quite filthy, not to mention he smells, but that’s no reason to assume a pony is a homeless wallow of filth, who’s also poor and probably has odd obsessions with young foals. But we’ll fix that. Sweetie would you mind assisting me?”  Rarity turns on the faucet.

Argon is blasted in the face with water; the faucet was on full blast. He garbles and attempts to get Rarity’s attention so she would turn it off, but she didn’t. He could hear bits and pieces of what she was saying, stop, calm down. Sweetie, and then something about shampoo. The faucet is shut off, “Oh no.” he knew what was coming.

Sweetie Belle lifts the shampoo bottle above Argon’s face, “Now be careful Sweetie, we don’t want to apply too much.” Sweetie turns her head to look at Rarity to reply, unaware that she had started to squeeze a large amount of soap into Argon’s eyes.

“God Dammit!” Argon covers his eyes and screams in agony. He thrashes about and rubs his eyes ferociously to get the soap out, but it didn’t work.

“Mr. Argon!” Rarity yelled sternly at him, “There is a filly present! Sweetie, go wait in the corner I’ll finish things here.” A strong force began to restrain Argon; Ms. Rarity wasn’t a strong pony, so she must have been using her magic to restrain him.

I hope I’m not blind! He worried as the stinging sensation continued to burn his eyes. His head is forced back by Rarity’s magic and he hears the faucet turn. Not again.  Argon holds his breath, this time he was prepared for the blast of water.

The water came out slowly, gently tapping his face before flowing out like a calm spring. The water was cold, but felt good over his burning eyes. As the pain withered away he began to feel relaxed and embraced the water that flowed down his face and into the sink below. The creak of the faucet came once again and the water stopped. The chair is brought up and a towel wipes his eyes and dries his face. He could see again.

“There.” Rarity began, “Terribly sorry about that, Sweetie Belle can sometimes cause accidents when she helps.”

“Its fine, just give me my stuff back and I’ll be on my way.” Argon gets out of the chair and moves over towards a mirror, his mane was soaked. He does the best he can to return the mane to its former glory.

“Oh, but we’ve only just begun. Here let me measure you and I’ll whip up an elegant outfit in no time.” Rarity attempts to measure his height, but Argon raises up his left forehoof, signaling for her to stop.

“That’s very kind of you Ms. Rarity,” he replies calmly, “it really is, but please. I don’t care about being a fashion disaster or smelling like a smell that nopony can smell, I just want to find Princess Twilight Sparkle and be on my way.”   Rarity nods her head and sets the measuring tape down and proceeds to retrieve Argon’s clothing.

“Hey mister? Why is your flank all black and disfigured looking?” A voice asked from behind Argon, it was Rarity’s little sister, Sweetie Belle, if he remembered correctly.

“It was burnt off on that side by chemical burns,” He moves away from her and attempts to hide the scared flank from her by showing her the side that wasn’t burnt. It was some kind of circle with various symbols and marking on it. One was a triangle that marked three points within the circle.

The filly stares long and hard at his cutie mark and suddenly shouts, “You’re a math teacher!”

“No,” he replied bluntly.

“Oh,” Sweetie lowers her head in disappointment before. “Does it mean you’re a preacher?” Her smile seemed so confident in her answer.

“No.” Argon gives her a puzzled look, “Why would you think that?”

“It seems religious I guess. Hmm,” she thought for a minute, “I got it! You’re part of the circus!”

Argon chuckles a little. This little filly sure has a active imagination, “Sadly, no.” he stated again, “You wouldn’t really understand why I have it, but it represents alchemy, kind of a mix of science and magic that only alchemist can perform.”

The little filly’s face lights up as she runs towards the door, yelling, “Cutie mark crusaders alchemists!” She runs out the door and slams it behind her.

Rarity returns and hands Argon his things, which he quickly proceeds to put on, “Thank you,” he said as his cape snaps loudly. “I best be on my way.” He heads for the door, but is stopped by Rarity.

“Wait a minute darling; you said something about a princess named Twilight Sparkle before? Why?”

“Wait? You know her?” Argon was surprised a little that a small time fashion designer, like Rarity knew a princess. But he remembered Rarity did say she created the best designs for all of Equestria and Twilight did live here so she must have met her somewhere along the line.

"Why yes I do, in fact she's my best friend." Rarity answered much to Argon’s excitement.

"Really!" said Argon excitingly "can you take me to her?" Finally his journey was at an end. No more silliness from Pinkie Pie or Rainbow colored mares knocking into him. Just the sole reason why he came here and nothing was going to stop him from meeting this princess.

"I'm sorry but she's not home at the moment." Argon heart sunk, all his hopes were dashed.

“When will she be back?” She couldn’t be gone forever, a pony always returns home eventually.

"Sorry, but she's in Canterlot with Princess Celestia conducting royal business. I don’t know when she’ll return, but I don’t think it will be for quite a while."

Argon’s right eye started to twitch as if he was about to go insane, but he managed to keep his sanity in check."Th-Thank you Rarity. I'll just be going now." All the suffering he had to endure being in this town of crazy ponies was in vain. She wasn’t here and the time she’d be getting back would range from a possible thirty minutes to a month, or even longer. He didn’t just feel disappointed, he felt depressed, sick to his stomach. He opens the door and slowly drags his hooves out of Rarity’s shop.

"Oh well, nice meeting you" said Rarity as she waved goodbye and closes the door behind him.

"Yeah,” He murmured quietly back to her, “Nice meeting you too." He couldn’t help but feel frustrated with himself. He was used to disappointment, but to be so close, to get a quick nip at success only to be shot down in flames was heartbreaking. He could easily take a train to Canterlot the next morning, but time had finally caught up with him. Three years he wondered the planet searching for answers, and now he had a chance by enlisting the help of an alicorn, but now he’d have to go to Canterlot to get that help, something he wished to avoid for he shared no love for the other two princesses of this land and asking them for help would be insulting.

At this moment the pink demon popped up, from who knows where, and hopped in his direction. "There you are silly..."

"SHUT UP!" Argon yelled loudly at her, for he was in no mood to deal with her craziness.

"Oh we having another yelling contest again?" just as she asked this Argon screamed no directly into her face. He didn’t care if he upset her, if that was even possible.

“I don't want anything to do with you ever again!" He stares at her with rage in his eyes, like a wild animal preparing to charge.

. "I'm sorry I just wanted to get to know you and become friends." Her smile vanished, but she still had that crazy, giddy tone.

"Friend?" Argon was no longer in control of his emotions. His head shook violently and his throat felt tight from yelling so hard. He had never hated a pony more than Pinkie Pie at that moment, she just didn’t know when to stop, but now she will. Argon thought as he began to insult Pinkie, “We, are not friends. Not now not ever. Ever since I stepped foot into Ponyville you have been annoying me to death!”

“Oh,” Pinkie replied rather softly, her giddiness and bubbly personality had disappeared. “I’m sorry, I…”

Argon cuts her off, “No! You’re not sorry Pinkie and you know it. All those times I said leave me alone or go away you continued to do the opposite. Either you’re very ignorant or you don’t care how I feel Pinkie! Did you ever once think about other ponies and what they think of you? Do you comprehend what I am telling you? You’re a freak! A blight on society that likes to sit there and be an annoying blemish! Go away forever and never come back! Argon stops to catch his breath and begins to see the damage of his hurtful comments.

Pinkie’s eyes twitch as they fill up with hot tears, she sniffles and whimpers loudly. Then a strange phenomenon occurred. Her mane and tail went from its puffy, cotton candy like appearance to a completely long, straight, and untangled look. She begins to cry loudly.

“Oh, uh.” Argon felt a little guilty now, sure she was annoying, and he did want to tell her off, but he didn’t want to make her cry. “Pinkie,” He says softly, “Pinkie I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, I was upset with myself, and I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“But,” her voice cracks loudly, “You ca-called me a freak… and that I that I should go away forever!”

“I know and I’m sorry I really am. Please don’t cry, you’re not blight, you’re not a freak, and you’re not a blemish either. Please I’m sorry. I don’t want you to go away; I want you to stay right here. Okay?” Argon places a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder.

“You do?” She sniffles loudly as she wipes away her tears.

“Yes.”

Pinkie silently crosses her heart, stands upon her hindlegs and flaps her arms like a bird, and puts her right hoof into her eye, “Cross your heart?” She asks.

Argon crosses his heart, silently mouthing the words, cross my heart, back to her.

“Hope to fly?”

Argon imitates this part of the sequence and quietly whispers, “Hope to fly.” He knew what came next, the placing of his hoof over one of his eyes.

“Stick a cupcake in your eye?”

“Stick a cupcake in my eye,” upon saying this Pinkie’s mane and tail bursts back into its puffy, cotton candy form. She giggles happily as a large grin formed upon her face. Pinkie was back to normal.

“So are we’re friends now, right?”

“If it makes you happy, then whatever, but don’t expect any birthday cards or hugs.” He smiles back at her, feeling the shame wash off of his body.

“Hey Argon?” Pinkie began to inquire, “Do you have a place to stay?” Argon thought about it for a minute, with all the time wasted in Ponyville he hadn’t exactly checked into any hotels, for every two seconds that he wasn’t being chased by Pinkie Pie he was busy getting information out of ponies about Princess Twilight. “I’d offer you a chance to stay at my house, but it’s not really my house and Mr. and Mrs. Cake doesn’t like it when I bring in hobo ponies.

“First off, I’m not a hobo, just a little lost and confused as to where I am.” All the shops looked the same to him, how was he supposed to know what was a hotel and what wasn’t. Maybe if they put signs up! Whose bright idea was it to suggest to the entrepreneurs that keeping your business unidentified was a good business strategy, honestly! He realizes that Pinkie was still waiting for him to finish. “Sorry, got lost in my thoughts. I guess I am without a place to stay, and no I don’t want to hear any of your suggestions.”

“Look!” Pinkie points towards a yellow mare with a light pink mane; a satchel bag was attached to her side as she trots on, oblivious to Pinkie, “Fluttershy! Hey Fluttershy!” The yellow mare, Futtershy, was startled by the sudden yelling of her name and quickly dashes into some bushes to hide.

“Okay?” Argon raises an eyebrow at Fluttershy’s strange behavior; then again nopony in this town was in their right mind. “What’s next?” he began to mutter to himself as he followed Pinkie Pie over to the frightened mare. “A pony that believes in a mythological creature that has opposable thumbs and walks upright?”

Fluttershy pops her head out of the bushes and begins to calm herself as she realizes that it was one of her friends that called her name. “Oh, Hi Pinkie Pie. I didn’t know it was you, well I did recognize your voice, but I thought you where somepony else that sounded like you.”

Argon attempted to introduce himself, but upon extending his hoof, Fluttershy went silent and stared at his extended hoof. “Hello?” Fluttershy squeaks loudly as she recedes slowly back into the bush. “Uh, okay.”

Okay I know your name is FutterSHY, but come on, you can’t be this shy. Fluttershy then mumbles something so quietly that it was nearly inaudible. “I’m sorry what?” She mumbles again, but Argon still couldn’t comprehend what she was saying. “A little bit louder, please.”

“I have the right to defend myself.” He could only make out bits and pieces of what she said, luckily she repeats loud enough to make her words understandable, “I have the right to defend myself. I’ll use pepper spray against you if I have to, I mean if that’s alright, if pepper spray is too much I could use something less harmful like a tissue or I’ll throw a pebble at you.” She picks up a tiny pebble so minuscule that it looked like a speck of dust; the only reason why it was visible was because of her yellow hoof. She throws it halfheartedly at Argon, but as soon as it left her hoof it disappeared into oblivion. Argon was confused as to what was going on, was he under attack or being threatened?

“I think you’ve taken too many stranger danger classes.” Argon remarked.

“Oh Fluttershy your so funny sometimes,” Pinkie giggles loudly as she gives her friend a big hug, “Fluttershy is the nicest pony around, I’m pretty sure she’ll let you stay at her cottage.”

“I will?” Fluttershy stated out of surprise. She didn’t seem too sure with Pinkie’s statement, but she didn’t speak against it.

“Anyway, I’ll let you two come to an agreement and be on my way.” Pinkie Pie hops away giddily.

“Now then, Fluttershy is it? It would be very kind of you to offer me a place to stay, but I can tell that you’re not comfortable with the idea so I’ll just leave.” Argon turns around to leave, but was stopped by Fluttershy who flew in front of him.

“Wait it’s not that I don’t want to help you, it’s just that I don’t have any room for you, and I wouldn’t want you to sleep on the cold, hard floor, that would be just awful.”

Argon had been around the world many times, and a floor was definitely one of the most comfortable things he could sleep on, when he thought about the other places that he slept. “That’s fine; I’ve slept in worse places.”

“Are you sure, I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable,”

Argon waves his hoof, dismissing the claim, “It’s no trouble at all, a floor is better than the dirt ground, which I have had to sleep on, on some occasions.”

“Okay, well I’ll show you to my cottage, follow me.” Fluttershy slowly leads the way back to her cottage with Argon right behind her.

Finally, Argon thought to himself as he’s following Fluttershy to her cottage, something is going right for a change.

—Outtakes—

Parts that didn’t make the cut or where formed within the mind of Thespian Light {most were from his mind}. All outtakes we’re developed solely by Thespian Lights and have no canonical ties to the story enjoy.

Pinkie Pie

She even followed him into the little colt's room! “Hey Argon!” Argon, being startled by Pinkie’s voice, slams his back against the stall’s wall and looks up angrily at Pinkie Pie. “Hey Argon? You got a little tiny minuscule thing dangling in-between your legs there.” She points down at his stallion parts. Argon quickly covers himself and blushes. Pinkie catches on and averts her eyes by covering them with a hoof. “Oh,” she begins uneasily. “You should get that checked out.”

“IT’S NOT THAT SMALL!” Argon snaps back.

Fluttershy

“I mean you can stay it’s just that I have no place to put you.” Futtershy rubs her left forehoof nervously.

“Well I don’t mind sleeping in a shed, if you have one. I’ve slept in worse places.”  Sleeping in a shed was nothing compared to what happened that one night in Las Pegasus.

Fluttershy develops a sinister glare on her face, her ear’s twitch, and teeth grind against each other. Her voice changes from a soft, quiet mare to a menacing, yet somewhat silly low voice. “Stay the buck out of my shed motherbucker!”

“What?” Argon was taken aback by the sudden change in Fluttershy’s voice.

Fluttershy’s voice returns to normal, “Oh, of course you can stay in my shed, if you want your brain to be eaten like a Toaster Strudel! I’ll lay down some pillows…” She goes silent and pulls a chainsaw out of nowhere and revs it up. Argon runs away. “Hey hey hey ya’ll come back now.”

Rainbow Dash

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie stand face-to-face, “Wait you two are friends?” Argon asked as he got up off the ground.

“Yeah, we’re friends!” Rainbow Dash yelled excitedly

“Best Friends!” Pinkie added.

“The bestest buds in the whole world,” Rainbow said a little quieter as she leans closer to Pinkie.

“In the whole entire world,” Pinkie leans in closer to Rainbow and stares deeply into her eyes with a seductive look on her face.

“Best lovers.” Rainbow whispers as she and Pinkie begin to make out.

Argon just stares at them, confused as to what was going on, “What is this? A clopfic?”

A big red pony with an orange mane walks up next to him, “Eeyup !”

Bon bon

Argon approaches a light apple greenish grey mare with a moderate cobalt blue mane, with light pink highlights. “Maybe she knows where the Princess is. Hello?”

The mare turns around and in a low deep voice replies, “Sup’!”

Argon stares at the pony with a confused gaze, but shakes it off, “Uh, yes I would like to know where I can find the princess?”

She smiles happily and points to Canterlot in the distance, “Ya’ll, musta missed the train to Canerlot. That they be there, I reckon, are where the princesses are livin’ at.”

“Uh,” Argon had no idea how to reply to that, he couldn’t make out a word she said, “Why are you using a bad stereotypical southern accent to talk to me?”

Her voice suddenly changed to an elegant one, “Whatever do you mean?” she shifts to a Russian accent, “I no talk in accents.” Suddenly she’s German, “Zat is a confuzing question. Ze Princezezzez are in ze caztle in Canterlot.”

Argon began to feel a sudden urge to walk away, but that would be rude, and he still needed some answers as to where Princess Twilight is at. “Okay, Stop talking in these bad stereotypical accents, there’re hard to understand, okay?” Argon hoped she finally understood, but instead replied back in a different language.

“Je me demande combien de personnes vont regarder pour voir ce que je dis en français?”

“Bye!” he yells angrily as he stomps away

.

Applejack

“Ahhhhh!” Argon screams in fear.

“What the hay are ya’ll doin’ in ma cider barrel?” The southern mare asks.

Argon realizes that this mare isn’t Pinkie Pie, but a backwoods redneck. Oh thank god! There vision is based on movement so as long as I don’t move I’m fine. Sucks in his breath, remains completely motionless, and waits patiently for it to lose interest. The pony just stares at him with a bewildered look.

“Ya’ll do know I can see ya, right?”

“Crap! It’s one of those smart rednecks!” he covers his mouth with his forehooves, he didn’t mean to say that aloud.

The mare glares at him; she grinds her teeth and slowly tells him in an aggressive manner, “Get the hell out of ma apple cider.”Argon looks down and becomes embarrassed, “What?”

“Most of it’s not apple cider anymore.”