The Woes of a DJ

The Woes of a DJ

Beat One: No Taste

"Mr. Osci, sir? There's a unicorn here who wishes to see you."

A dark red pegasus removed his glasses and looked up from the seemingly endless supply of paperwork on his desk. "Send 'em in." He sighed. It was that time of Saturday when no-talent hacks started appearing like parasprites in front of his desk, demanding that he listen to their gruesome attempts at songs and sign them to insanely extravagant record deals.

The exasperated chairman looked up to see a white-furred unicorn with an unkempt blue mane and purple, oval-shaped glasses. It was all Osci could do not to laugh in her face; she looked ridiculous!

"So... who are you?" Osci said, sparing the pony in front of him any pleasantries. The unicorn simply grinned. "The name's Vinyl Scratch..." With these words, Vinyl took a CD out of her bag and handed it to the pegasus. "And I'm here for a record deal."

The pegasus grinned at the unicorn's straightforwardness; if he was going to have to crush the dreams of an unsuspecting producer, he'd prefer to do it before his lunch break. "Well, Vinyl, have you done any high profile gigs I should know about?"

Vinyl thought about it, searching her memories for every important thing she had done. "Well, I deejayed for Hoity Toity back when she was doing those mobile fashion shows, I deejayed for the after-party at Princess Cadance and Shining Armor's wedding, I opened for Daft Pony on the Northwest Equestrian leg of their world tour, I..." she noticed the pegasus's look of disbelief. "I'm telling you the truth, dude." she reiterated. "Suuuure you are...." Osci replied sarcastically.

Okay, Mrs. Scratch." He concluded. "Let's get this over with."

"That was... something." Mr. Osci muttered after hearing the song Vinyl prepared. "It was decent, I guess."

Vinyl looked up, surprisingly maintaining her cocky demeanor through the label head's positive remarks. "So, what do you think about signing me to your label?" she asked.

Usually, Osci enjoyed rejecting the music spoiled musicians put in front of him; their music was only average yet they thought they were the best thing to happen to music since the idea for music was conjured.But while this producer was extremely confident in her music, she had the legitimate talent to back it up. The only problem with her was that she misunderstood the meaning of the music she made.

"I said it was good, Ms. Scratch," He started. "but I didn't say it would sell.

"I can tell you put unique aspects and slight variations in every measure you wrote, but this isn't classical music; it's techno! People don't listen to this in order to analyze every nuance of its musical structure. All the people want is something they can shake their asses to! It's that simple, Vinyl."

He handed the CD back to the pale unicorn. "Dumb your music down a couple of IQ points, and then come back to me, okay?"

Vinyl snatched the CD from his grubby hooves. It would have been different if he had insulted her songwriting abilities; it would still hurt, but it would give Vinyl a way to improve her music and skills. But to suggest that she had to dumb it down to be famous, to suppress every musically unique urge she had in order to become famous, was far more insulting and inconsiderate.

"Thanks for nothing, asshole." Vinyl said as she headed towards the entrance. "By the way," she said as she pushed the door open, not bothering to look back at the chairman. "It's electronic music, not 'techno' music. If you're gonna be the head of a fucking record label, at least get your shit straight!"

"Rejected again?!"

Vinyl was at the one place she knew to go when something like this happened: the bar. Luckily for her, her friend Octavia was able to join her there; Vinyl needed someone to talk with about everything that happened that day. It was rare that Octavia had time free to drink with a friend; she was usually away playing music with Celestia's royal orchestra, or as Octavia so eloquently put it, "Canterlot Musical Business."

"I can't believe it either, Tavi. I worked SO HARD on those tracks... it hurt to see him just shove them away."  She would never admit it to anyone else besides Octavia, but this wasn't the first time something like this had happened; Vinyl had gone to MANY labels asking for a deal, even going as far as Ponyville in the hopes of making it big.

I heard those tracks, Vinyl." Octavia said, "And they were on par with every piece of electronica I've ever heard. There was just so much complexity."

"That's the problem, Tavi!" Vinyl whined, yearning for some alcohol to wash the day away with. "He said it was too complicated and that all people wanted from electronic music was something they could 'shake their asses to!'"

"He really said that?" Octavia replied, mortified at the oversimplification the label head provided. "He wouldn't know music if it hit him upside his inflated head!"

"I can confirm that." Vinyl said. "The music in the lobby was absolute shit."

Vinyl and Octavia shared a laugh at the expense of Osci. For the rest of the evening and well into the night, they discussed things that were going on; Celestia was heading over to Trottingham for a week on national business, so Octavia would be heading across the continent in a couple of days. Vinyl was jealous of her friend's profession; Octavia got paid a substantial amount of money to do what she loved and travel to extravagant corners of the world, while Vinyl was just a customer service representative for some obscure computer software.

"Hey, Vinyl, it's getting late." Octavia said after a couple of hours of chatting. "I need to head home, okay? My boyfriend's texting me profusely, asking where I am and where I've been."

Vinyl sighed; she really didn't want to go home; she would no doubt get hounded by her landlord for "paying the rent a week late" or some trivial bullshit of that nature. "Alright, Tavi. I'll catch you later."

As Octavia left the bar, she dialed the phone number. Vinyl eavesdropped on the conversation, walking out of the bar a couple of yards behind her friend. Despite this, she could only hear bits and pieces of what Octavia was saying. "No...I was with Vinyl...you're so paranoid...I'll be home in an hour..."

"Goddamn it, WHY?!"

Vinyl was working on a chiptune song on her computer. But no matter how much she tried, she couldn't quite tweak the sound correctly...

She looked at the clock, which read eleven at night. Only eleven? Vinyl thought. I got time. She continued messing with the oscillator, editing the sound wave bit by bit until the sound emulated her video games exactly...

"8 A.M?!"

Vinyl didn't know what happened. Last thing she knew, she was editing the effects on the filters and listening to the rain outside...

The rain. The calm, soothing, rhythmic, sleepy rain. Vinyl cursed herself for not being more vigilant in her attempts to stay up, but she didn't have time to dwell on past actions; she had to somehow get completely ready and get to her job on the other side of Canterlot in half an hour. Without hesitation, Vinyl ran to her computer, put fast, heavy house music on her stereo loud enough to shake the entire apartment complex, and ran into the shower; she had no time to waste.