School of Hard Knocks Fan-Fanfic

by MerlosTheMad

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Berry Punch, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 3787

Cinnamon Swirl is taken to the Doctor and the Dentist by his mother, will she be able to handle the torture of reliving these childhood trips?

Firstly, Lords and Ladies, I would like to disclose a simple disclaimer. This story here? Is not my own, oh I wrote it, but the characters and on-goings belong to the one and only Hoopy Mcgee. (Who graciously blessed off on this.) If you haven't read his works, then shame on you!! Not really, but they are highly recommended not only for their quality, but their intrigue... Now, please enjoy a little one shot I whipped up out of respect for the ol' Hoopy, with his permission of course.

The Original Story
School of Hardknocks

This isn't where I belong. I left all this behind years ago, moved on with my life. But a mare from my past brought me back, and now she won't let me go. So I'm stuck here, trying to make the best of it with ponies that don't understand me, don't even like me. But when something moves in the darkness, and when things go wrong in the cold, dead night, they'll turn to me to try to set things right.

Why? Because once a police pony, always a police pony.

Published 2013-04-19 22:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-21 17:11:11 UTC

The Dentist

Despite my mother's protests, I continued to grind my teeth together hard enough to make noise. Especially, because of my mother's protests. Impressively, even the bounce of the carriage rolling down the wide suburban street couldn't drown out the grating sound I made.

"Stop that Cinnamon," my mother chided at me again. Despite her tone, a look of contentment was still welded solidly onto her face. "We've already gone over this, you need a check up at the dentist's office." She smiled down at my shrunken, pink furred form from where she sat beside me.

I didn't look up to meet her own eyes, but merely continued to glower ahead fiercely. If I were to look up, I just knew she would be smiling, putting on the perfect show of a proud mother of an adorable little filly that was making sure she was being well behaved. For perhaps the hundredth time since I'd come into these hellish circumstances, I fought back the urge to gag at the thought.

It had been a short time since I'd been brought back to my mother's home. Already I had tried escaping back to where I knew there was a cure, but each time I had been caught at the train station, or found on the road.

"If you're good, there might be a reward in it for you," she called down to me, leaning over slightly with that always present jubilant grin.

I could feel my expression shift from horror and back to anger. Being treated like this after being a full grown stallion for so long was horrific, it was depressing... it pissed me the hell off. My hooves began to tug on the stupid hair style I was being forced to wear. Although I held the two braids I was often forced into, I'd stopped trying to undo them. Every time I did, it just gave her an excuse to fuss over me; and in public, too... that was the last thing I wanted to happen.

I was helpless, and that's how the current set of events had been set into motion. At some point this week—not long after our arrival from Ponyville—she had gotten the brilliant idea to shower me with... girly things. One of those had been more sweets than I think I'd had in my entire childhood as a colt. From that, spawned her desired trip to the dentist...

"Dear? Are you alright...?" my mother asked me. "Your tummy isn't off is it?" The question felt as insulting as the tone she used. Up front, the driver pony's snickering made it sting all the worse.

Oh you better not be laughing at me buddy, or I swear on Celestia's flank that I'll... One of my rare moments of sobriety crept onto my face suddenly. The realization I wouldn't, and couldn't do anything was painful... Hopefully this insulting visit to the foal's dentist wouldn't be quite as gut wrenching.

"Well, I'm sure the doctor will be able to help if you're not feeling well, sweetie." The carriage rocked to a halt at that moment, and my head slowly craned up to face her. My expression was one of death. Her's was a concerned frown; I wish I could say it was as fake as they came, but mom was... serious. She actually believed something could be wrong with me, besides the obvious of course.

"We're going to the doctor's too?" They were the first words I'd said all morning. I think she realized this because she actually smiled in response; smiled at my misery.

"Of course! You need the new vaccines and then—oh, watch your step Cinnamon—we can go and get you some ice cream-" After we climbed down off the wagon I interrupted her, and in the harshest, darkest, cruelest tone my high pitched filly voice could manage.

"Listen to me, you need help. This is nuts. I am a grown stallion!" More chuckling and roaring laughter came from the cart, but I ignored them as they pulled away. "I mean, shots? Aren't you taking this way too far? Haven't you already—pony feathers—haven't you had enough of your fun yet?" I avoided swearing outright, believe me I wanted nothing more than to start cursing like the disgruntled old cop I was, but the last time I had... it hadn't ended well.

"Cinnamon Sugar Swirl, don't take that tone with me young lady." She abruptly pulled me along by my hoof into the dentist's office, entirely ignoring my futile attempts of trying to have her see reason. "Come along, or we'll be late." It was useless, in public the old mare just treated me as though I were actually a filly, and in private, she guilted me mercilessly and negotiated endlessly.

I sighed and resumed my helpless effort to just make it through another day. I wondered to myself, when will this stop? It hadn't even been four days yet, and already I felt as though all hope was lost. Sweet Celestia, she had better not think about trying to get me into school... The thought sent a shiver down my spine as we crossed the threshold into the building.

Half an hour of waiting had gone by.

My eyes were stuck to the insultingly cutesy depictions of cartoon animals and teeth lining the walls. Beside me, my mother hummed happily while looking through a fashion magazine. I could only sit and wonder about the comforting thoughts she told herself that justified my predicament.

The small room was for foals coming to see the dentist; it would be my luck that she would see to humiliating me as much as possible by bringing me here. I let out a defeated sigh and contemplated making a hysterical scene; at the very least it might get me out of this place. My hope that I would convince someone to help me was hardly a flicker anymore.

"Cinnamon?" I look over dourly at the mare calling my name from the hallway door. I immediately take notice that she was pretty easy on the eyes. The idea that the simple observation preserved my stallion-hood, somewhat, was only a little comforting. "Hello dear," she greeted me after I looked up. "Peppermint will see you now in room B."

After heaving a sigh, I slid off the chair and walked defeatedly past the table centering the room, laden with mismatched toys intended to distract young ponies. I couldn't help but shut my eyes as I walked past the things, as if their presence was poisonous.

"Be good sweetie! Mommy will be right here for when you're done." My eye twitched uncontrollably at the sound of her acting that way yet again. Anymore and I was sure my ears would start to bleed. I needed a drink... maybe they'd leave a bottle of rubbing alcohol or mouthwash where I could reach it and-

The dentist's office door clicked shut behind me. I hadn't even noticed myself walking all the way in.

"Hello there, princess." The words stabbed at me without mercy. "How about you hop on up here and we can get this harmless little check up all sorted out nice and quick, hm?" Still, despite the insulting pretext, I had to try my best not to whistle or cat call. Maybe my brain was more addled than I thought, or maybe I was just desperate to reassure myself I was a guy... but this Peppermint was a looker. And just the way I liked, too. Light green and pink mane, short trashy hair, pale white coat... not bad. Still, it was a fleeting reaction, given my present state.

I obeyed her, and hopped up.

The seat I grudgingly laid back onto was comfortable, at least. That was hardly anything to lessen the impact of my situation, but what the hay, it's not like my thoughts were being wasted. At the rate I was going, I would be stuck like this forever... I shuddered and looked down at the floor with a morbid expression.

"Aw, now don't be scared, silly filly. We aren't doing anything scary today, just a cleaning." Her smile was a little foreboding as she snapped on a trademark of dentistry, the filter mask. "Open wide, princess pouty-pants!" My opinion of the mare pulled a complete one eighty; she was officially all that was evil in the world.

"Listen, lady, don't call meH-" Before I can finish my protest, she'd already gotten that horrible little mirror and scraping tool exploring the private areas of my molars. I let out an irritated groan in protest, my eyes glaring at her now business-like face. This gal was even more sinister than my mother; no wonder kids hate the dentist. I mean, that root canal I got last summer was no walk in the apple orchard, but this was just unbearable treatment, not to mention insulting.

"Hold still, kid. The better you behave the quicker we can call it a day." I just sat back and accepted the torturous, degrading experience. I was being treated like a child, as usual, and accepting it. But what else could I do? No one believed me. They wouldn't have a good reason to, either.

I flinched suddenly. "Aahw!" That horrible instrument of dental torture had struck something in a not so gentle way.

"Ooooh," the mare cooed, "looks like you might have a cavity. Been at the sweets a bit much lately, princess?"

That is definitely not the case- Arg! I scrunch my eyes shut as she pokes the tender tooth yet again.

"Well, guess I lied to you. Sit still and be a good girl while I go ask your mother if she'd like this taken care of." My head craned around the chair's back to watch her leave...

I scowled at my girly pink hooves in disgust, rage boiling to its peak at my luck. "This day just gets better and better..." The sarcasm didn't do much to help my mood. Maybe if I'd actually said something sarcastic or vulgar to Peppermint?

Sighing, I flopped back against the chair again and tried to reflect on better times, which was really any moment before that unfortunate tryst into the Everfree...

Author's Note

WHAT'S THAT, DON'T RHYME OR USE ALLITERATION SO MUCH? Blasphemy I say. BLASPHEMY!

I hope you all enjoy this little adventure I made for Hoopy and all of you! I felt as though he'd skipped over a rather fun opportunity with this, but it helps his story's pace and the main plot by not covering ALL of the little slice of life things. Soooo I made this! As a fan-fanfic.

Please enjoy and if you like what you saaaaw, you could read my other fantastical fantasy adventures! (Also one sci fi epic, not sure how that got in there.)

There is one update to this, it will be published on Monday in the late afternoon.

The Doctor

"Come along, Cinnamon!" my mother chimed jovially, for all her credit appearing as light as a feather on her hooves. Her new-found agility was likely from the emotional state she was in. Was my suffering really worth so much to her?

I let out a languid huff of breath while following a small distance behind her, and out of the dentist's building. It wasn't my suffering directly—I knew that—she was just enraptured by the feeling of having a daughter finally... a filly. That much was obvious... All I knew for sure was that this was illega-

My breath became very rushed and my chest felt tight suddenly.

"Cinnamon dear, is something wrong?" My mother called back to me after taking notice.

I gulp and look up at her. "No... let's just get this over with." My voice was steady and dour, the same as it had been all day, even the burst of hope didn't override my training. We continue walking, but my eyes and head are glued to what had startled me, or rather, who.

The mare had been easy to recognize, I was one of her best customers back in Ponyville, after all. Berry Punch, the solid purple sales pony of quality spirits was pulling a cart cheerfully, eyes shut and nose in the air without a care. She must be here restocking or something, I thought. The wagon she pulled was filled with familiar looking casks.

My freshly cleaned teeth chewed on the numb lip flanking them nervously. I desperately thought to myself, maybe... maybe I could get her to help me, somehow.

"Stay close now, Cinnamon," my mother said merrily. "We don't want to get separated before we get there." The way she spoke was such a cliche way to speak to a filly. I almost gagged again.

Instead of getting distracted, my eyes just stay locked with the cart that was slowly moving further and further away. I couldn't let it get out of sight. A hasty plan formed in my head. It was true, any escape attempt I usually made was quickly foiled by my... appearance. But, if I could get to Ponyville with the help of someone, even if it was unknowingly... by say, hiding in a wagon? I might stand a chance-

A hoof wrapped around my shoulder roughly.

I closed my eyes and put on a pained expression. I knew what I'd see if I looked up. One of my now baby blue colored eyes cracked open hesitantly. Sure enough, my jail keeper had followed my intense gaze.

"...Cinnamon, come on. Let's hop on into the new cart; your mother's legs are getting tired." Her expression was dark, and fixated on Berry and her wagon. My mother had known what I was thinking, then.

Mom held me until Berry Punch turned around the corner, moving further and further away from possibly helping me. I could still try and make a break for it, lose my mother in the crowd, hop the next train to Ponyville... but it didn't seem like it was going to happen.

My mother's hooves nudged me up and into the back of the carriage, typically only used by the elderly to get around. Which, I suppose mom was. Her eyes glued themselves to mine as she dug out a few bits and paid the driver. The way she stared was creepy to say the least.

"What?" I asked in an obnoxious tone, as if I didn't know that she knew about what I'd been thinking. Who would've thought she was such a mind reader? I certainly hadn't, not until recently...

"Sweetie, please don't cause a scene." She implored to me.

Oh, I'll cause a scene if I bucking well please... Despite my internal reaction to her words, I could only slump my shoulders and stare at the back of the driver's head in defeat. I should've made a break for it...

The doctor's waiting room was even worse than the dentist's; this one was bright pink.

If I ever make anything clear in my life, let me make this little fact perfectly, clear.

I. Hate. Pink. So of course, every edifice of the doctor's chamber was riddled with the color; even the chairs and carpet.

My hooves scratched against my back legs while I sat in morose contemplation of my situation. Beside me, my mom was talking about something or other, but nothing important. I heard her mention stuffed animals, supplies for something... clothes, toys, too, of all things. It was all I could do to not throw my hooves up and scream bloody murder having to listen to it all.

A tiny foal across the room did just that for me, and from about a stride away, on top of that. Its cry was blood curdling; it was horrible, and worst of all my mom had begun oooing and complimenting the owner of it. Normally I didn't mind foals and younger ponies too much, unless they were trouble makers, but right then, I hated, children.

"Cinnamon Sugar Swirl?" The expression I wore as I slowly craned my head to face the doctor must have been something else, he actually flinched. "Uhm, Cinnamon?"

A hoof rapped against one of mine soundly. "Cinnamon dear, manners. Now go on." My mom frowned, smiled and pushed me out of my seat all in the span of a couple of seconds, leaving me wide eyed from the sudden movement. You wouldn't think about it until it happened to you, but being smaller was really disorienting.

My obnoxiously tiny hooves stumbled from the push and I almost tripped. I recovered, and spoke irately back to her. "Oh yes, mother. I'll be perfectly good, you'll see." I strode stiffly past the old unicorn holding the clipboard, ignoring the worried look he gave me, which he then shifted to my mother. "Come on, lets get this over with, buddy," I mumbled at him. Looking back, I saw my mother laugh nervously and shrug her shoulders to the guy.

A satisfied smirk, the first I'd had in a long time it seemed, settled on my face.

The doc and I walked around the corner and a kindly looking nurse had the door held open for us. "So," he began hesitantly. "It says here you're long overdue for a few shots. You're a mighty brave little filly just sauntering in here all on your own." He winked down at me, smiling, and I rolled my eyes in response.

"Whatever, let's get this over with." I was cringing on the inside at the idea of getting shots. I hadn't had a shot in at least a decade.

"Of course, right away..." The way the old guy responded to me, it was almost as though I weren't a filly. I was probably just imagining it, or he was humoring me. Either way I didn't hate it. "Now, would you like this all in one leg or spread out?" I can't help but wear a pained look as the nurse brings in a tray full of needles. Holy buck, are they trying to kill me!? Legitimately, they are the largest, scariest, pointiest, sharpest and most terrifying implements of health care I had ever seen in my life.

My eyes blinked worriedly and I try to look away. Still, the sheening metal of the tools glinted in the corners of my eyes.

"A-aah, just... get it over with, would you?" My answer was shaky, which certainly didn't improve my mood anymore. I tried to shake the feeling of dread in my face and body, heaving a sigh to calm down. Shutting my eyes altogether helped; it wasn't like me to get nervous over anything. Then again, a lot of weird had been dumped on me lately. I suppose I was off put simply because the needles looked as big as riot batons, due to my current size.

The nurse's hooves clopped on the tile floor as she came to stand by me. She stood beside me insultingly close, as if I were moments from freaking out. The needle punctured my right foreleg eventually. I tensed up, but otherwise didn't move any.

"You look a little worried there, Princess. Sure you wouldn't like us to call your mom in here?" The doctor gave me a genuinely concerned look and tilted his head.

"No." I answer simply. As if I'd want her in here to try and hold my hoof or humiliate me...

"Nooo you aren't sure? Or no you'd like your mom to-" My eye twitched in immediate response.

"Just give me the hay forsaken shots!" I cringed again at the sound of my own voice breaking.

"Ooookie Dokie." I watched him scoop up another needle and make his way over to me, then paid close attention to the wall once more.

I had a stray thought that helped; the fact that I had to endure this just so my mom could live her dream of having a little girl? That thought alone caused the pain from the next three needles to fade to nothing more than a dull ache.

Before I knew it, the nurse started to rub my arm therapeutically with an alcohol pad. After that, she even began patting my back, as if I needed comforting. I appreciate the gesture, lady, but lay off, I thought.

I tried to scoot down the bench away from her, and she followed me, giggling. I'm about to start trying to shoo her away, when my eyes widened from another thought which had occurred to me.

"Hey, Doc, you ever hear of poison joke? It's a blue flower with magical properties." The unicorn I was addressing dropped the needle into the bin and looked back at me thoughtfully; actually, perhaps even condescendingly.

"I can't say that I have," he responded in an overly cheerful voice. "Great job though, you barely even flinched. Your mother must be really proud to have a filly as brave as you."

The slight glow of optimism I'd foolishly grabbed hold of blew away as if from a sudden gale. I was really alone and on my own in the world... I could only hope that maybe the poison joke would run out on its own at this point, or maybe Pinkie would come to my rescue.

I ignored everything else the doctor pony had to say after that.

A sober chuckle escaped me as I walk back into that sickeningly namby pamby lobby. My mother's bulky form stood at the door, chatting with another mare. They both looked at me as I approached. The stranger's eyes widened as I approached, and mom put on a look of pride like you wouldn't believe. I would've facehoofed if I hadn't been in the middle of walking.

"I know," she replied to something the stranger had said. "I can't wait to enroll her back into school now that she's all moved in!"

I stopped dead in my tracks at the words I had just heard. "What?" I asked. I know, right? As if the world hadn't screwed with me enough already.

Author's Note

Well, that's all there is folks, if you haven't read it yet please go and read Hoopy's story, School of Hard Knocks, and if you havn't read the ORIGIN of Cinnamon yet either! Then have a go at Why am I Pinkie Pie!? Which is honestly the funniest, best written, most original, icing coatedlemonfrostedsprinkletoppedwhipcreamedcherryfilled story chock full of AWESOME! That I've ever had the pleasure of reading. But that's just my opinion, I like it alot, surprise surprise?

So please give the guy a big thanks for his time and effort in those stories, if not for me, then, for pony! :pinkiehappy: