Tea, Discord and a few drops of alcohol

by Dronster

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Nightmare Moon, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia
Length: 1007

What happens when Celestia Gets drunk?

The history of equestria as it was seen through the eyes of a drunken sun godess.

My first Fanfic and my main language is not English but please do tell what needs improvement.

Published 2012-02-19 14:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-02-19 14:44:01 UTC

U mad?

Celestia had just sat down and poured herself a steaming cup of tea. Settling her muzzle above it, letting the warm smell sooth her nerves after a stressful day.

An urgent knocking could be heard from the direction of the door. Sighing she stood up ”Another distraction from having a nice, quiet, stressfree evening.” The knocking started again as she realised she had yet to open the door. Turning around flicking her horn imagining herself slamming the door open. The door spun gently on it's hinges.

A bright blue noblepony came rushing in as quickly as his noble legs could carry him. He skidded slightly, not much mind you a noblepony is never in a hurry, the panic in his eyes said otherwise though.

”Mcmuffintop how nice to see you again” the THIRD time this hour, she thought to herself ”what seems to be the problem?” this time?

”Haveyoulocatedmycarrotsyet? IstillneedthemforaVERYimportantcustomer”

”I am sorry but...”

”HowlongwillittakebecausemyclientisVERYimpatientandIreallydon'twanttokeephimwaiting...” and thats about where she stopped listening to this blue, red maned little ANT that was completely ruining her otherwise stressfull but normal day.

Completely ignoring the annoying little VERMIN that was puking out words nearly as quickly as a certain pink party loving pony. Instead of listening to this again, she had a nice little teaparty in her head.

She sat down again this time opposite a purple unicorn. Taking a second to sip at her most delicious tea.

Then she opened her mouth as if to speak...

Sensing that his rant was coming to a halt, she said goodbye and thank you to Twilight that had joined the princess in her all too short mindparty. Taking a deep breath, she started listening to the little PEST that had been there at least twice, every hour, the whole day.

”...butifyouwouldbesokindastotellmewhenyouwillhavethem.”

”Like I tried to say a few moments ago.” This will shut him up. The Princess grinned inwardly and continued in her usual kind voice. ”You will have to go and speak to my sister, she is in charge now as the sun has set.”

And he was off with something that sounded like ”okthanksbye”.

Oh, how she loved having her sister around again so she could pull that card.

The alicorn grinned though when she thought of how the whole Nighmare Moon thing had started.

This was the second time the alcohol had posed it's all too lovely flavour on her tongue.

After a several too many drinks, she had summoned a little gray cloud that sparkled like thousands of stars were hidden inside it's nebula like form.

Impressing even herself with the amount of laughter she could scream at the top of her lungs before having to breathe again when it latched onto her sister and turned the mare's usually dark coat to a black that was as dark as the emptyness of space.

And the lunar princess had gotten so angry that she could have sworn that she had grown a whole foot.

The elder sister had laughed even more at that.

The sun godess sat down in her now nearly pitch black room and accidentally tipped her cup.

The sweet smelling fluid fell out of the cup and onto the floor.

She had done that before too.

On the same occasion Nightmare Moon was created.

She had rolled around in her laughter and tipped her sisters tea right onto her own face.

It had landed right in the mare's face, she had thought that she should punish her sister as revenge for spilling tea on her.

The first thought that came to her was ofcourse the Elements of Harmony that they had used to turn Discord into stone a few years earlier.

She had been the cause for that one too.

It was the first time she tasted alcohol.

The first drink had been tasty. The second even better. Third better still, the fourth... the fifth...

And then there was the food. Whatever she had stuffed her face in had tasted just incredible.

Alright, she still blushed a little at that one. Eating cake just never would be the same again.

She had flown so incredibly good and her speed had been impossible.

She had spotted some animals running from a really pissed off griffon when a lion had suddenly mustered enough courage to swing back at the angry flying thing.

So too did the other creatures but both sides recived heavy losses, the lion it's foreleg a bird it's wing and so forth while the the griffon lost more than a few brain cells. All of them in fact. With their convenient storage vessel and a few little less vital pieces.

And through the haze that was her mind at the time she saw that it all fit together again if you just forced it a little. Except the one piece that was still missing. The head.

The magic she had put into it still enabled it too move around but it looked a bit... off without one.

So she borrowed one from a fellow onlooker and smiled contently at her creation.

She the proceeded to fall asleep.

And let aunt Celestia tell you that when you wake up with a really, REALLY bad hangover and your whole kingdom is literally turned upside down you get a little bit ticked off.

Lighting the room up a bit with her horn and forgetting the fact that her tea had long since grown cold, she decided it was time to pour another cup.

She sipped it.

And spat it out just as quickly again.

Cold tea was never anywhere near as pleasureble too her tounge as the warm version is.

Wonder how it would taste with alcohol?

She decided it would be nice to crawl down beneath the royal bedsheets. But on her way she stumbled upon something.

Her stash.

The one with the BOOZE.

A wild grin spreading on her face.

And she thought that maybe, just maybe, she'd try out for the Wonderbolts this time.

Thank you for reading this silly little story