Comic Relief

by ThatGirlOnFire

Rating: everyone
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Sad, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Romance
Length: 1955

Comic relief. That's all she was.

Pinkie Pie: happiest, most cheerful pony in Ponyville.. Not.
She may not have loved herself, they might have not loved her the way she loved them but that didn't matter.
As long as she kept smiling, it would all be alright, wouldn't it?

Published 2013-04-17 16:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-27 00:12:56 UTC

one

There were days when she found it hard to sleep because of the tears. Other times they helped- her own sobs working as a sort of lullaby for herself.
This night was more of the former.
Pinkie Pie tossed and turned, tears streaking down her face, sheets tangling around her pink body. Her mane was snarled around her hooves as she writhed in a ineffective attempt to get comfortable enough to sleep.
Their faces wouldn't stop flashing in her mind.
Rainbow Dash was first, as usual. As if she would allow herself to be anything but. In the visions, she was watching Pinkie with that seductive look on her face, wings outstretched toward Pinkie.
Then Twilight Sparkle appeared, smiling as Rainbow Dash tugged away her book.
Fluttershy was next- that soft pink hair Pinkie had always just wanted to bury herself in and stay in forever cascading down her neck and hiding her gentle smile. She was lying her head on Twilight's side, eyes half-closed as if she was falling asleep.
Rarity waltzed into view, purple curls flowing down her shoulders as she laughed and kissed Applejack, who was beside Fluttershy and underneath her wing.
The five mares- gorgeous, gorgeous mares, Pinkie thought- all began kissing and embracing one another. The dream-Pinkie watched them with a smile on her face. "Can I play too?.." she asked, bouncing up and down. The dream-mares began to laugh. Not the nice, cheerful laughs Pinkie truly adored hearing. Cruel, twisted laughs. The kind that made it clear they weren't laughing with Pinkie. They were laughing at her.
Dream-Pinkie stared at her friends, eyes widened with shock as they laughed and jeered and booed and laughed and it hurt it hurt it hurt it hurt ithurtithurtithurt--

Pinkie sat up in bed, not so much surprised as listlessly tired. She had known it would come when she finally slept, it always did, really.

Sometimes she wanted to find them, to gather them together and tell them all how she felt. Tell them how much their smiling faces made her heart so happy and made her want to smile too...
But each fantasy devolved into that same demented image of her friends, watching her, and laughing.
So she didn't tell them. Maybe it was better that things stay this same way, with them oblivious to her adoration and her dying on the inside.
She kept up a brave front. She couldn't let them see how much it cut when they smiled at her. She had to keep smiling, for Ponyville if nothing else. She knew how much her laughter and smiles mattered to some of the ponyies when they were having a bad day. She was the constant, the one thing that stayed exactly the same between the day-to-day dramas and heartbreaks. When Bon-Bon broke up with Lyra, Pinkie Pie was there to cheer Lyra up and help them get back together. When Berry Punch lost her job, Pinkie Pie was there to help her feel better and start applications to new jobs.
She was the glue that held Ponyville together. She couldn't change. She had to stay the same while everyone else changed.

She was the one who kept things from slipping into the darkness, from becoming too teary and sad. She couldn't start crying herself, could she? After all, she was the element of Laughter, and tears are virtually the opposite of Laughter. So she hid her tears, smiled wide, and pretended everything would be alright.
Everything would be alright.
Everything would be alright.
It would, wouldn't it?
It would.
It wouldn't.

two

She wanted to tell them ~~she didn't~~ she did ~~she didn't~~ she did ~~she didn't~~

In the morning she tumbled out of bed, head reeling from the nightmares again. She trotted to the mirror and attempted to push her hair into the normal curls before going downstairs.
As she trotted out the door, she pushed the normal enthusiasm into her voice as she asked everyone how they were and remembered all the minor details of their lives.
You could say what you wanted about Pinkie Pie, but everyone knew that she was a good listener when you needed her to be. She listened as Daisy began rambling about how Lily and Rose kept refusing to try her new recipes,but her mind kept wandering to the same images of her friends. Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Rarity and Applejack..then the laughter echoing through her mind.

It had been happening for longer than one might think- since that fateful day where she had looked around at her friends and realized how much they meant to her. How much it hurt seeing them with others.
I love them, she had thought. At the time she had been shocked, though her first reaction was to want to blurt out the words floating through her mind: I love you all so much. She couldn't bring herself to say them aloud. She knew how adamantly Rainbow Dash insisted that she was straight (she wasn't) how Twilight refused to date until she was finished with her studies, how Fluttershy blushed when Big Macintosh looked at her, how Rarity had that desire for her prince and fairytale ending, how Applejack insisted she was too busy with the farm to even think about being in a relationship.
And it made Pinkie cry when she let herself- when she was alone in her room after the Cakes had left or gone to bed, where nopony would ever hear her, with the curtains shut so not even a pegasus could see in. She couldn't be seen- that would be letting the curtain down, ruining the illusion for everyone, destroying their image of Pinkie Pie, the happy-go-lucky party planner.

Quite honestly, that pony had died the day she realized how they would react- how they would just reject her. She was the pony to go to for playing games or eating sweets. Not the pony they could ever see as anything more than their friend Pinkie Pie. good for a laugh, always there with that big smile on her face.
She reasoned with herself. Rainbow Dash wasn't straight, Pinkie knew what had happened in Flight School with Gilda. Twilight may want to focus on her studies, but surely she might make an exception for her bestest, bestest friend Pinkie? And maybe Fluttershy did like Big Macintosh..but Pinkie knew she loved her, too, didn't she? And Rarity..Pinkie could be a prince for her if that's what she wanted. And Applejack may be busy, but with Mac and Apple Bloom to help out surely she could take off enough time to see Pinkie if she knew how much Pinkie loved her.
No. No, she wasn't, and she wouldn't, and she didn't, and she couldn't, and she wouldn't. They might let those things happen for others, but not for Pinkie Pie, silly friend. Comic relief. That's what she was to them, really, wasn't she? Always there to lighten things up, make them feel a little better between all the dramas of the real world. She wasn't anything more than that.

three

"RAINBOW DASH!..." Rarity screamed indignantly. Twilight was giggling with Fluttershy while Applejack tried to hide a snicker as Rainbow Dash pranced around the room and Rarity's white, excessively frilled nightgown. "I am Raaaaaariteeee!" she proclaimed as she twirled. The real Rarity put her nose in the air, unable to hide the smirk on her face. Pinkie watched, a huge smile lighting up her whole face as she laughed so hard it was painful. She wasn't sure if she would be able to last the night here, surrounded by all the mares she loved so deeply. She forced a grin as she kept cackling about Dash's exaggerated Rarity impression. ---

Late in the night they had all put their sleeping bags in a circle on the library floor as they played one of their super-competitive games of Truth or Dare. Twilight was hovering a marker beside the large classroom whiteboard, waiting to make a mark in one of the point tallies.

"So what'll it be, Dash?" Applejack asked mischievously. "Truth?..or Dare?"
Dash wrinkled her nose as she thought carefully about her move.
"....dare!"
Applejack smirked. "Alrighty then... YOU have to eat one of Spike's GEMSTONE CRUNCHIES!"
Dash protested. "That'll KILL me! Ponies can't eat gems!"
Twilight grinned. "It's fine. They're imitation. You can eat one."

Dash was never one to turn down a dare. She bounded into the kitchen and took out the box of Gemstone Crunchies, holding it in the air over her head for everyone to see. She stuck her hoof in and yanked out one crusty Crunchie, trotting back to her place in the semicircle.
Everyone leaned in intently as she took a deep breath and bit in. She winced. "Eeuuuuggghh. Applejack, this is DISGUSTING!"
"You have to eat it all! Part of the dare!" Applejack said smugly. Dash made a face as she finished the dragon treat.
"My turn now!" she said as she wiped the crumbs off her face. "Umm..."

She glanced around the circle at all her friends. "...Pinkie! Truth or dare?"
Pinkie froze. She had been distracted by the thought of the laughter again and wished more than anything she would sink into the floor as to not have to take a turn. "...Truth!" she said in a falsely happy tone. Dash's face lit up.
"Okay then..if you had to kiss somepony here, who would it be?"
Pinkie's eyes went huge as she tried to think of somepony, anypony she could lie about. Her mind finally settled on a solution.
"Spike!" she said cheerfully, making everypony burst into laughter as they thought of the grumpy little dragon who had taken his pillow and stomped down to the basement "so he could finally get some sleep around here!"
Dash looked annoyed. "That's not a real answer!" she began. Twilight interrupted.
"How about we just keep going? Pinkie, your turn next!"

Pinkie named some mindless dare for Rarity next without really thinking about it. They continued with Pinkie managing to not be chosen again, ignoring it for the most part until Dash looked at Twilight with that devious smile. "Truth, huh?.."
she mused. "..I know! If you could go out with one of us would you and who would it be?"
Pinkie tried to look away but her gaze was firmly fastened on Twilight. Twilight shrugged. "I don't have time for dating, Dash, are you crazy? I have a paper due, and then I have to do a weekly study on.."
Rarity interrupted. "I know what you mean, darling."
Applejack nodded too. "I've got so much work on the farm lately now that Big Mac's fancying a mare..." Her gaze flicked to Fluttershy, who blushed deeply.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Sucks to be you guys. I'VE got a date with SOARIN! The WONDERBOLT! It's going to be SO COOL!" she squealed.

She rambled, Pinkie not focusing. She felt like her head was underwater. It was one thing to tell yourself you would be rejected. It was another to really be rejected. Her head was buzzing. "Don't have time for dating..." Rarity and Applejack agreeing...Fluttershy blushing about Big Mac...Dash's date with Soarin..
She abruptly stood up and ran for the door, not really listening to their cries of "Pinkie! Where are you going?! Come back!" She ran through the shadowy night, tears flying out behind her as she ran and sobbed. She didn't know where she was or where she was going, and she didn't particularly care at the moment. Or EVER AGAIN! she thought bitterly. This dream, with her and her friends being together in that way, was exactly that. A dream.