Pete Powell's Life as a Pony, and Beyond

It was the day of the gala. The three princesses had arrived and Pete was feeling less sure of himself than before. Well, less sure of himself wasn't quite the phrase. He had simply found most of the princesses to be moderately terrible. The unicorn princess was a complete snob, and understandably the less liked of the three. She had gone so far as to bring her own servants with her, feeling the Canterlot ones to be inferior some how. It would take all his strength to not start a war with all three half nations just to kill her.

The pegasus princess, Sunstreak, was a rather magnificently white pegasus with an appropriately golden mane and tail. A cutie mark of a solar beam, and a refined, yet down to earth air the captain enjoyed. Easily his favorite of the three, and generally well received by others as well. Though many dark whispers surrounded her, saying that behind closed doors she was much less regal and much more heated. This made him like the mare further. It told him she knew the time and place to be cocky, and when it was time to be diplomatic.

Finally there was the earth pony princess. A very stark contrast to the two before her, the ungraciously named Mud Hole, was brown on brown with a very calm attitude. She was almost indifferent to everything around her to the point of being ridiculous. Though the rumors about her were quite straight forward and simple, she was fair. Never taking any side more seriously or with more favor than the other. An exemplary example of earth pony morals. Also a very ironic stick in the mud.

The whole situation had been made worse two days ago as well. After giving Luna the night he felt she deserved, Pete was more than shocked when the princess arrived at court an hour later still human. With high levels of shock traveling around, stories began flying left and right about scandal. Luna had then made a simple declaration, that she had never felt truly accepted by the ponies, that the humans had been her true subjects, and that she regretted letting them slip away. She declared that as soon as her sister was recovered she would essentially step down as co-monarch of Equestria, and that the only thing keeping her there at the moment was her concern for her sister. She refused any talks about reverting to her previous form, and insisted that those that didn't like it leave. A few left, many stayed for the sake of amusement, a few for serious problems.

Luna had also introduced herself to the princesses in her new form, causing even more of a stir. So now, on top of finding the remaining four ponies, he was constantly watched (more than before) and was the center of a many stories. At the moment he stood on a balcony above the main ballroom, looking down on the party. Luna had arrived in a dark blue dress that he was certain she had enchanted to sparkle with star light. Watching the party with a listless gaze, Pete's mind drifted to the last party he remembered. Pinkie Pie's twentieth birthday party.

Memory Lane: Sugar Cube corner, three thousand years ago

The six mares stared in shock at the sudden violence. Before them was a terrified unicorn, Fixit, with a bloody muzzle and on the verge of tears. Between them and he, was Pete, the dark blue unicorn enveloped in a black/gray aura that denoted dark magic. Around them the party had come to a sudden halt, almost every pony in Ponyville staring at the scene in the corner of the room.

Almost all of Ponyville had known about Pinkie Pie's issues during estrus. Earth ponies had the hardest time keeping themselves in check, and despite what many would think Pinkie was a rather conservative girl. Her personality had led many stallions to try and woo her into bed, and these undesired attentions would escalate during heat. It wasn't estrus at that time, but there was alcohol abound, and Fixit was more drunk than Berry Punch on any given day. It had been his bad luck that Pete, possibly the only pony in the whole town that didn't know about Pinkie's problem, was standing right next to the party pony.

He made a very unflattering remark, Pinkie Pie tried to brush it off, but Pete stepped up. Fixit got angry, “You're already married, you gave up your right to any other plot. So back off!” That had been the wrong thing to say. An instant later Fixit was propelled backwards with enough force to make the party cannon look like a toy. A sick crack had been heard as he slammed into the far wall, along with making a physical crack in the wall. He tried to stand up only to be savagely beaten down by Pete's magic.

Panting with exertion, Pete turned and faced the Elements of Harmony behind him. Slowly looking them in the eyes, all but one. Taking a deep breath and extinguishing his aura, he closed his eyes and spoke.

“How long?”

They looked at each other with apprehension, but Pete knew that one would respond.

“Since practically forever,” Dash said, a note of sadness in her tone. “We try to help, but what can we really do?”

Opening his eyes, a fire burning within them, Pete walked over and placed himself in front of the pink party pony. Looking out on the crowd, some more rowdy than others, but none trustworthy any more. With an agonizing pace he scanned the crowd picking out the stallions that looked at each other with fear, making note of them. Finishing that he stomped his hoof once, calling any wandering attention back to himself.

“The next time I hear about this, I'm taking it right at face value. You'll get no official inquiry, no investigation, and no mercy.” His tone was dark, the threat blatant. “I had thought that this was a nice place, a quiet town with good hearted ponies. ...I guess I thought wrong. If I so much as hear a WHISPER that some stallion is making unsanitary comments about Pinkie Pie,” he gestured to, the now unconscious, Fixit in the corner. “That will be you.”

After that the party, which had already been winding down, died, and everypony went home. All but seven. After helping nurse Redheart toss Fixit on a stretcher, Pete joined the Elements of Harmony in cleaning up the party mess. He was wiping down a table when Rainbow Dash floated over to him.

“I-I should have told you,” she started lamely. “I knew about this stuff going on but-”

“But you didn't think it was your place to say something. You'd tried helping before and it just never worked out. You wondered what could I do that you girls hadn't already tried, right?” Even after the scene he'd just caused, and Dash feeling that she should have told him SOMETHING, he was smiling.

“Twilight even sent a letter to the princess once,” Rarity said, magically tossing a sack of trash into the can. “None of us really expected her to do anything, but... well it was a nice gesture.”

“Rainbow Dash got a lot of it to stop once when she beat up a couple of guys in the store,” Pinkie chimed in with a smile. “...but then estrus happened and...”

“Well I'm not bound by either of those things,” Pete declared. “Celestia can't come around and stomp out bullying personally, and when estrus hits I've seen how it turns into every mare for herself. But neither of those things effects me that much.”

“You can't just beat up everypony in town!” Twilight practically shouted, “You'll go to jail!”

He turned and flashed the purple unicorn his almost signature smirk, “Miss Sparkle, I am the law.” Getting a rousing chuckle from his wife and Pinkie Pie for his reference Pete turned serious again. “Honestly, they take me in, send me a letter. I'll walk out and deal with it and go back.”

“That's not how jail works!” Twilight shouted exasperatedly.

“It will if they put me in it. As if they could hope to stop me from just waltzing out whenever I felt.”

Twilight gave up after that, as did the others. In a few days the incident would reach the ears of Luna, who would attempt to give her far off captain a lecture. A lecture that he would promptly ignore, laugh off, and once more do as he pleased. By that time even Celestia had agreed to let the situation lie, and it did in fact improve. Less talk about Pinkie Pie's nonexistent carnal activities was spread, and once the truth got out a few well intentioned guys shown up.

Before that though it was after the clean up, the others had gone home, and Dash had made a quick trip to the bathroom. Pinkie Pie and Pete were alone in the main area of Sugarcube corner. The unicorn was breathing a relaxing sigh when the pink earth pony threw her hooves around his neck. With a gentle smile he placed his own forelegs around her waist.

“Thanks,” she breathed into his ear.

“Any time.”

The ball

Letting out an exasperated sigh Luna's captain, and imagined fiance, peeled himself from the railing around the balcony and made his way down the stairs to the main ballroom. He couldn't avoid being the main attraction all night. Of course as soon as he stepped out onto the floor Luna was at his side, for no reason other than to prove how preferred he was now. Her declaration that she no longer wanted to be considered one of the pony goddesses had gained her the ire of almost all of Canterlot. Even Celestia had given her sister strong, and loud, words. None of them swayed her.

After giving Luna some small instruction on formal human dances, of which Pete was no expert at all and was capable of giving only light instruction on the box step he learned in fourth grade, the princess was drawn away by Shimmering Gale, the unicorn princess. Seizing the opportunity of the break Pete stepped over to the refreshment table and downed several glasses of wine in rapid succession. As a stunned unicorn waiter took away the empty cups, the now slightly inebriated captain turned and faced the party at base level. It was quiet, except for the music in the background, all the voices were just below speaking tone, but the cacophony raised into a mumbling tide giving the illusion of many loud voices. The dance floor swirled with colors, some vibrant, some muted. The politicians had all gathered at one end of the hall, most likely talking shop, with a few aristocrats trying to barge in every few moments to get their does of self importance in.

Sighing at the sight, Pete turned away to find a bathroom. The party had started four hours prior and he had been standing in view of the public for most of that. Deciding it was better to suffer the gazes of the aristocracy and find a bathroom than wet himself, he went to the far side of the floor, and exited the ballroom near the musicians. The corridor was dressed up for the occasion, this being the hallway all ponies were directed to when asking about a toilet. Halfway there he encountered a familiar situation.

“Aw, come on now princess,” the dressy unicorn closest to Pete said. The captain identified the two instantly, they were related to Shimmering Gale, her brothers. They were also notorious for using their station to impress mares. Equestrian womanizers in essence.

“Yeah, everypony knows about the itch your hoof can't scratch when it comes to earth ponies,” the one furthest away said, his tone as smooth and slimy as oil.

Princess Mud rolled her eyes. “Please, gentlecolts,” her voice nearly annoyed, “I've heard this a million times, and it won't work. I'm not impressed with your self given titles, and I'm less impressed with your manner of speech.”

The first one laughed, “Oh come on now, it's just us here. Almost all of us noble born have heard the tales about you. All proper and level headed out here, but a real vixen in the bed!”

The laugh that followed was what tore it. Above all things it was this that Pete would not tolerate. He would never understand the mentality that others held about 'no' meaning 'try harder.' There was persistence, and then there was being a sick nuisance to everyone you meet. He could even understand that a few mares would like those pick up lines, everyone was different, but when someone basically tells you “Not interested, you're gross, get out of my face?” It was time to go, and these two had a bad reputation for not getting the hint.

“You heard the lady,” he said, making his presence known. “Just leave, before I get violent.”

The one closest to Pete took a couple steps towards him, chuckling. “Look, we all know that you're sleeping with Luna. So why don't you cut a guy a break and let someone else pick up a kinky princess?”

Curiosity took hold first. “'Someone else pick up a kinky princess?'”

“Well, if she's with you, Luna can't possibly into regular rutting.” He laughed again, the kind of obnoxious, self righteous laugh that made sane men's blood boil.

With a growl and a flare of magic the brother furthest from Pete was tossed several feet backwards, as the one closest was strangle held up into the air. Keeping his left fist clenched at his side, he allowed the black gray aura to surround him visibly. The pony in his magical grasp began to kick wildly at the air as the glow began to envelop Pete completely.

Since his return to life Pete had lost touch with whatever baser magic he'd had before. His normal magics had manifested in a deep blue, same color as his coat had been. Now he had nothing but the dark powers he had learned to master. The loss of his other magic was not so great, to him. He had hands once more for more mundane tasks, the only true reason for him to cast spells anymore was for combat. The dark look of his magic then gave him a useful edge, fear.

Out of the corner of his eye, Pete saw the other brother rise and begin to cast his own spell. With a swipe of his hand Pete slammed the floating unicorn into the wall, next to the princess, and raised his other hand. Already prepared to fire a spell and take his opponent out, Pete decided to give the stallion a choice.

“You can try it if you want to, but I'll stop it. Then you'll be against the wall like your brother.” The stallion paused, his aura wavering with doubt as he looked at his kin suspended in the air. “I'm going to give you a way out. Run, now. Find your sister, and beg for forgiveness. If she gives an official apology, I'll drop the little incident.”

The thought of fighting crossed his mind for only the briefest of moments, but news had spread of what ponies were calling 'The Dread Captain' and his fight with Celestia. No matter what folks thought, Celestia and Luna were still the most powerful alicorns, and this magically inclined ape had defeated one and was currently herding the other. His dark magical aura, which at this point had only been rumored to the other royalty, was what had brought about his title as the Dread Captain, and it was in full effect now. It spread all around his towering form and tendriled off his body like smoke, casting menacing shadows that danced across the floor, as if closing in on the terrified prince. He fled, as fast as he could, his shouts echoing for miles in the almost completely empty corridors.

With the lesser offender off, Pete turned his attention to the one choking against the wall. With a negligent toss of his hand he sent the white and blond pony sailing down the hall. As the remaining prince coughed and began to stand, and splutter curses, Pete flared his magic and made a slamming motion with his right fist. Once more the invisible force at his command violently forced the pony flat, and this time into unconsciousness. Pete waited for a moment, letting his aura fade to just his main hand before extinguishing it completely.

“Are you alright?” he asked, turning to the princess.

She stared at him for a moment, unsure what to think. Suddenly her lime green eyes grew wide, and a nearly face breaking smile spread across her face.

“PETE!” She shouted the name with a high pitched tone that nearly shatter the glass behind him. In a single move she bounced straight at the tuxedo wearing human, gaining enough height to be face level with him. In an instant she wrapped her fore legs around his neck and kissed him square on the lips. She pulled back, giggling, and bouncing her hind legs into his knees.

It had taken only a moment for him to realize, to connect this exact situation to the one he had remembered. To place the voice and actions to the mare. With a smile of his own spreading on his face Pete pulled the chocolate colored pony close to him in a tight hug.

“Pinkie Pie!” He didn't shout, with her head being next to his and all, but the feeling was there. The pair stayed like that for a few moments before Pete set the newly awakened mare down.

“What is going on?!” she shouted, half confused, half excited.

“In a nutshell, there's a hole in Celestia's reincarnation plan I slipped through it some how. Now I'm trying to find the rest of you girls. I've already found, well half of you now actually, but Twilight didn't want to come back, and Fluttershy is recovering right now.”

“Ooh! Is that why I look like chocolate?”

“Yeah. You've actually sorta brain jacked some other mare's body. ...which reminds me. We need to find Luna and get you into your body ASAP.”

“Silly, my body's dead.” Pinkie replied, following Pete as he made his way back down the hall. Leaving the unconscious prince on the ground.

“Yeah, but Luna made a new one, like how I'm in my old human body?”

Her eyes widened as she noticed, for the first time, that he was once more human. When they arrived at the door Pete had exited the party from moments ago a thought struck him, stopping him cold. He needed to convince Pinkie Pie to stay in the hallway while he got Luna. There was no telling what kind of damage the fresh eyed party pony could do in the form of a princess. It was risky, but his only hope.

“Pinkie, listen,” he said, turning to face the pony with a sigh. “I'm going to be honest. Behind this door is a huge party, like the grand galloping gala.” She nodded in response. “I need to go in there and find Luna, but I know how you get around parties so-”

“So you want me to stay here so I don't get lost?”

He blinked in confusion, “Uh, yeah, actually.”

She smiled, “Okie dokie lokie!”

Pete made his way slowly through the door, keeping an eye over his shoulder. Stepping back into the party with genuine surprise that Pinkie would actually wait in one spot, he looked for Luna. Thankfully her new form and tendency to gravitate to his position proved useful and it took no more than a minute to find her. Getting her away from the curious gawkers was another challenge altogether, however. Ultimately it took nearly five minutes to get the princess dragged away, and each minute the fear in his chest that Pinkie would simply walk off, or worse enter the party, grew.

“You are telling me you left Pinkie Pie, the most notoriously random Element, ALONE?! In the body of a princess no less?!” Luna's whisper was harsh as they made their way along the wall.

“I'm sorry, but what else could I have done? I couldn't walk in here with her next to me, then all three of us walk off like that. And who knows what she'd have done once she got in here!”

The pair held their breath, and hoped against hope that she was still there, as they opened the door. They both let out a massive exhale as the found her standing exactly where she had been when Pete left. Exactly.

“Pinkie,” Pete said, closing the door behind him, “You could have moved around a bit, you know? Just sorta stayed nearby?”

The words were lost on her ears, however, as she was busy looking over Luna's new form. The Princess of Night explained her change, almost in more detail than Pete would have liked had he not stopped her from going further. Pinkie Pie seemed to understand, roughly at least, why she had done it, and embraced the change.

Once more in a stroke of once a night luck, the halls were mostly empty, save a few of Luna's guards, meaning the three proceeded to the infirmary without being stopped. Once there Pete began his slow sleep spell as Pinkie hopped up into a bed across from the still asleep Low Tide. Leaving things in her captains capable hands Luna stepped off to ready Pinkie Pie's new body.

“Hey,” she called to Pete, her voice slowly going back to the Princess' and her eyes getting groggy.

“Yeah?”

“When I'm back, and me again, there's something important I need to say.”

Pete chuckled, “Something you can't say now?”

Pinkie shook her host's head, “No, it's too important to say from somepony else's mouth.”

The human's eyebrows arched, “Really?” She nodded with an affirmative sound that fell into a yawn. “Alright. Take a nap, and you can tell me when you wake up.”

“Y-you gotta promise me you'll think about it when I tell you, okay? Pinkie promise!”

He laughed, in his entire double life span of knowing the pony he had never once had to make such a promise. “Alright, alright. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” he recited, mimicking the actions as he did so.

With a content smile on her face she drifted off to sleep, and Pete was rushed out of the room soon after by Luna. Her obvious concern being that he might be able, despite the ability stemming from her godhood, to recreate the magic that she used to bring his friends back.

Slowly walking down the hallway, making his way back to the party, Pete was abruptly stopped by the unicorn princess. He brother was trembling behind her, a whimper escaping his mouth a few times. They stood there facing each other for a moment, Shimmering Gale obviously seething with rage. Pete on the other hand was calm.

“We need to have a talk, captain.” She said, spitting the word captain.

Pete but smirked and said, “Lead the way, princess.”