It's A Twisted Joke

by Chrissie Hynde

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 532

Luna just wants to live life as a pony princess, but a very ugly pony threatens all she holds dear

Luna just wants to live life as a pony princess, but a very ugly pony threatens all she holds dear

Published 2013-04-17 15:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-17 15:30:01 UTC

Was feeling spicy

Spike woke up to face the new day like any other after the zombie apocalypse had come. He got up, brushed his teeth, and headed downstairs for breakfast.

“Morning!” he greeted Twilight, who was, as usual, reading a book with her remaining eye. The other one had been missing for a while now.

“Boooooks...” moaned Twilight.

Spike made his way to the kitchen and made himself some scrambled eggs.

Twilight didn’t eat anything. She hadn’t eaten anything for weeks now. Probably because she had a hole where her stomach was supposed to be.

After eating and putting his dirty dish in the sink, Spike went back into the library proper.

“So... anything on the schedule today?” he asked.

“Boooooks...” moaned Twilight.

“Of course. So... you won’t need me for anything today?” asked Spike.

“Boooooks...” moaned Twilight.

“You sure? I was hoping to go gem hunting with Rarity.” said Spike.

“Boooooks...” moaned Twilight.

“Ok then, see you tonight!” said Spike as he headed out the door.

“Boooooks...” moaned Twilight.

Morning in the apple household came later than usual. Likely because the rooster hadn’t crowed, as he didn’t have a head anymore.

Still, the apple family woke up to greet the day in their tried and true routines.

“Apppppplessssss...” moaned Applejack.

“Maaaaark...” moaned Apple Bloom.

“Eeeeeyup…” moaned Big Mac.

Granny Smith didn’t say anything.

After a few minutes, the family meet in the kitchen to eat a healthy breakfast of various apple goods. At least, they would have if they needed to eat anything.

“Apppppplessssss...” moaned Applejack.

“Maaaaark...” moaned Apple Bloom.

“Eeeeeyup...” moaned Big Mac.

Granny Smith didn’t say anything.

As they had started the day a bit late, Apple Bloom had to go straight to school. She grabbed her bags in her rotten jaw and dragged herself out the door. Applejack put her hat on her exposed brains and hobbled her way out to the fields. Big Mac put his trusty collar on, and followed after his sister.

“Apppppplessssss...” moaned Applejack.

“Maaaaark...” moaned Apple Bloom.

“Eeeeeyup...” moaned Big Mac.

Granny Smith watched as her family set out.

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only pony here with half a brain left. They all forgot to eat! Again!” she said.

Big Mac came back in with a blush on his face. he was still half asleep.

“Eeyup...” he said.

Rainbow Dash’s morning was not so typical. She woke up at the sound of something crashing through her front door.

Or rather, somepony.

With a resentful sigh, Rainbow forced herself out of bed to see who owed her a new door.

Unsurprisingly, it was Derpy.

“Morning, Rainbow Dash! I have a letter for you!” she said.

“Sigh... morning, Derpy.” said Rainbow Dash.

The letter turned out to be from the weather department. Apparently, as one of the few remaining non-zombie pegasi in Ponyville, she was being promoted. Again.

But then her half-asleep brain remembered that Derpy was missing a foreleg.

“Wait... Derpy, aren’t you a zombie?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“Oh! Right, I forgot again.” said Derpy before she fell over on the floor and laid still.

Rainbow face-hoofed.

“You’re UNdead, Derpy. Not dead.” said Rainbow Dash.

“Oops. My bad.” said Derpy.