The War for Summer

Everything in Equestria was great. Its culture, its citizens, its cuisine; everything was great. Every morning the great sun rose, and in the evening the great moon arrived to take its place. Every day ponies went about their business, determined to do their part in a world where everything was great. From the Frozen North and Crystal Empire, down to the Macintosh Hills and Badlands, greatness was a part of Equestrian living. Equestria was so great, that it the only way for things to get greater was to make things worse from time to time. (So they could get better, you understand?)

Princess Celestia understood, that was for sure. Her glorious sun beat down on everything in her kingdom, as she laid on her back on smoothest imported sands from the San Palomino Desert. One of the wonderful things about being a ruler over a kingdom of wealth and magic, was no pony questioned you using a room in the castle to replicate a beach and an ocean for when you didn't feel like leaving.

It was certainly a perk Celestia had enjoyed over the last millenium, and she had no plans to stop any time soon.

"Another drink, Your Majesty?"

Celestia turned her neck and lowered her sunglasses to drink in the image of who was standing beside her. With a towel around his own neck and a serving tray held aloft with magic, one of her finest Royal Guard stallions stood patiently waiting for her answer. There was a thin layer of sweat in his pristine white coat, causing it to lay gently on his very defined and refined muscular structure. He stood at attention as well, and stared at her with a look that showed no discomfort from her gaze.

She licked her lips, finding herself suddenly parched.

"Yes, thank you." With her own magic, she lifted her empty glass and placed it on his serving tray. He gave a curt bow, and turned to leave.

"Oh, wait!" Celestia remembered, and called out as he left. "Extra umbrellas this time!"

The guard gave her a nod, as she watched his muscular flank open the doors to her private beach room and leave.

Celestia laid back on her back like a happy filly, letting herself impact the warm sands ever-so-slightly with a small thump. Through the retractable roof her sun shown down with a bright intensity, and she winced in pleasure from the intensity of its rays. Summer was upon them; the best season. A season to rule them all! A season she wished could last...well, forever! If no pony objected, of course.

Summer in Equestria truly was great. There was noth--

"WHEEEE! CANNON BAAAAALL!"

Quicker than equine reflexes should have allowed, Celestia threw up a magic shield and caught all of the water sprayed from her younger sister's attempted dive turned belly-flop. Transforming her shield into a bucket, she poured all of the water that had almost ruined her pristine sandy beach and dumped it into the holding pool for the ocean water. Waiting for the guilty to party to surface, Luna then burst from the depths of the salty pool laughing and spraying even more water that Celestia had to catch and dump back in.

"Oh, sister! Tis' wonderful!" Luna splashed about with a happy smile on her face, her orange water-wings on her actual wings standing out starkly from her deep blue coat. "When we inquired about going to the beach, we would have never imagined that it could come to us!"

"I'm glad that you are happy Luna." Reaching out with her magic, Celestia picked out a white beach umbrella with her sun emblazoned onto it. Spiking it into the sand, she then opened it to shade herself from her own sun. "You wouldn't believe what we can do with some of the rooms in the castle."

"Oh? Pray tell, sister. Pray tell," Luna ears perked up, as she paddled her way over to the edge of the ocean pool and laid her forelegs over onto the neutral marble tile that separate sand from water. Her mane dripped messily over her eyes, and she pushed it back with her magic.

"What secrets have you been keeping from us for so long?"

Celestia chuckled softly at her sister's foal-like curiosity. "Nothing too dramatic Luna, I promise. Let us just say, that many mantelpieces and large bookshelves in some unused rooms are gathering dust for a reason."

"Oh, Tia. That's not fair!" Luna huffed out her cheeks adorably, and gave Celestia a sulking frown. "I bet you just want to make fun of me for going around the entire castle and inspecting every last furniture piece in the vacant rooms, don't you?"

Celestia laughed to herself gently, secretly impressed that Luna had managed to catch her in a half lie.

"Perhaps, Luna. Perhaps. But for now," she stretched her limbs out and her wings, and nestled herself deeper into the warm dry sands underneath her hooves. "Let us just relax and enjoy our time together on this day off, shall we?"

"Yes, lets." Luna agreed, before spreading her wings out wide and throwing herself backwards into the water with another impressive splash.

Celestia simply sighed, letting her sister do as she pleased and even allowing some of the water to splash onto her beloved aridly dry beach sand. It had been a long time since they had had the time to be together, never mind seeing Luna enjoy herself without the mask of dutiful control and restraint she always put on when holding her court. It wasn't that Celestia didn't have any standards of her own when hosting the Day Court, mind you. But her little sister's court could be mistaken for a funeral with how little ponies involved spoke, and with such plain and emotionless tones when they did. Truly, the Night Court was all business and no play.

It was a little worrisome, to say the least. But watching Luna laugh and splash about like a filly was an assurance to Celestia's mind. The rigors of running a kingdom were non-stop, but it was good to see that the sudden responsibility of leading an empire hadn't shaped her for the worst.

"Your Majesty? For you." Celestia turned and saw that her royal eye candy had returned, with a small but innocent smirk on his own face in response to her sultry smile. "And extra umbrellas, as requested."

"Thank you, Loto." Celestia said, taking her drink off of his serving tray and placing it on her own table half-buried in the sand next to her. In the glass glowed her own special cocktail for the summer, the potion giving off a vibrant glow like hot magma despite the ice cubes in it. "You are dismissed... For now."

"Yes, Your Majesty," her guard-turned-servant gave one last bow, before turning to leave.

"Actually, wait one moment Loto." Celestia commanded. Taking a dainty sip of her drink, she reached over for her sunglasses on the table too and put them on before turning to him. "May I ask you a question?"

"But of course, Your Majesty," Loto nodded.

"What is your favorite season?"

Behind her shades Celestia could see his eyes drifting away, but for only a second. A single second that his training in the Royal Guard allowed him to be caught staring at her royal tush, before something would have to be said. The cogs in her mind turned in amusement, and she turned over onto her sides before criss crossing her forelegs in front of him. She then spread one wing out in its full glory, before folding it back into her side. Through the entire process, Loto had failed to come up with an answer beside his own breathing, which was becoming more intense with every passing second.

"Well, guardsman?"

"Summer!" Loto shouted a little too loudly, his eyes shooting back to her own. "Summer is the best season, Your Majesty."

Celestia toyed with the idea of spreading her wing out again, but decided to be merciful.

"And do you like your summers...hot?"

"Ooh..." Loto said in thought, almost sounding like a slight moan. "Yes... Yes, Your Majesty! The hotter the better!"

Knowing that enough was enough, Celestia gave him a gentle smile before waving her hoof at him. Although his earnest admiration and...dare she say, love, for her was apparent, there was a line in the sand that had to be drawn between good-natured fun and actual flirtations. She had taken her fair share of lovers from her personal guard, but it had never been allowed to bloom into something more...permanent. It was better that way, for all parties involved.

"Good answers, Loto. You are dismissed, again."

Loto's ears dropped slightly, before his training kicked in and he stood himself up rigidly. "Yes, Your Majesty." With another curt bow, he turned to leave knowing that her eyes were again watching his flank as he left.

"Tia... That was terrible of you."

"Oh, don't be such a prude." Celestia said, still watching Loto leave before turning to her sister. Luna had lifted herself out of the pool with her own magic, and was drying herself off with a towel. "It was just a little good-natured flirting, is all. Am I not all--"

"That's not what we were referring to, sister." Luna rubbed the towel around herself, finally trying it around her waist and letting it cover her tail and rear.

"Oh?" Celestia went to take another sip of her drink. "Then what did you mean?"

"When you said that summers were best hot." Luna began drying her mane. "Art thou mad? Hot summers are unbear--"

PPFFFFFFFFFFHHH!!!

Luna was treated to the sight of watching her older sister do a genuine spit-take, spraying her drink all over her pristine sands and each droplet looking like red-hot embers where they landed. With her eyes no longer bulging out of her head from shock, Celestia quickly snatched the towel Luna was using to dry her mane with her own magic, and cleaned off her muzzle from the molten-red cocktail. Satisfied that she had gotten it all, Celestia placed the stained towel back down on the sand and stared daftly at her younger sister.

"Luna... What did you say?"

The goddess of the night turned her head quizzically, not reading the situation at all.

"Hot...summers...in...Equestria," she started slowly, noting how her older sister seemed to be riding on each word. "Are...terrible?"

Her words were too much to comprehend. Was it possible to string together such a wicked sentence?

How could her younger sister betray her so? Had she no appreciation for everything done for her since her return?

What was the the world coming to? What evils could possess a pony into casually saying something so damning?

Before Celestia could say anything in response (not that such evils could be countered with the common Equestrian language), she heard Luna shout her name as the world began to blur around her. She felt the soft sands heated from her summer sun gently catch her as she fell, before blacking out completely.