The War for Summer

Why me...

Those were the only two thoughts on Princess Cadance mind, as she comforted her weeping aunt in her forearms. Three whole bottles of wine later (nine-tenths of which had been consumed by the solar monarch), Celestia had degraded into an emotional mess that continued to flop back and forth between her bed and her niece's arms. The night had started out as a perfectly normal one, but the more and more Celestia told of her side of the story the more she had begun to drink. It hadn't taken long for the alcohol to hit the elder alicorn's system, and so Cadance and Twilight found themselves in the care of an immortal Princess with a thousand years of emotional baggage to drop onto anypony in sight.

"Oh Cadance," Celestia bemoaned, rolling around on her bed. "Where did I go so wrong? Is it so wrong of me to love being adored by my subjects?"

"Of course not auntie," Cadance said, reaching her hoof out and stroking her aunt's mane where she lay. "But...everything in moderation, right? Maybe you should--"

"Send my sister to the moon?" Celestia's eyes lit up.

"No!" Cadance shouted quickly. "Not that! Anything but--"

"Maybe I should send the moon to my sister," Celestia giggled with a fiendish delight. "Yes, she would never see that coming. Although she might, since the moon is so big and everything. Hey, did you ever notice how small the moon is compared to my sun? Haha...just goes to show who got the real talent from our mother."

Cadance turned silently and looked over at Twilight pleadingly, begging her to trade places with her for a little. But the librarian-turned-goddess was searching around the room with her back turned to her, seemingly looking for something in particular. With her magic she was going through the various objects with her magic, carefully inspecting each thing she lifted.

"Twily, is something wrong?"

"Hmm... I'm not sure," Twilight answered cryptically. She opened a drawer in Celestia's vanity before shutting it closed with a small slam. "Does something seem off to you?"

Cadance gave Twilight a flat stare in return, pointing to the delirious monarch still being held up in her forelegs.

Twilight rolled her eyes in response. "I meant anything else."

Cadance took a few seconds to think, before pointing out the window of the bedroom. The sounds of fighting echoed lightly even through the closed windows, and a thick black smoke could be seen rising from somewhere in Canterlot as if something were on fire.

Twilight facehoofed before groaning.

"You know what I mean. I want to find out what caused this."

"I'll tell you the cause of this!" Celestia shouted suddenly, springing up from Cadance's arms. "That spoiled brat I once called a sister! She has no appreciation for the finer things in life!"

Sinking back down onto her bed like a deflated balloon, Celestia looked over at Twilight who was still searching about her room furiously. The youngest alicorn was opening shelves and drawers, sifting through their contents like a burglar searching for valuables to steal.

"Twilight, what are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing." Twilight said nonchalantly, still hunting around intent on finding something.

"...It doesn't look like nothing."

"It's nothing Princess, really." Twilight insisted. "I just feel like something...strange is around here."

"Heeey..." Celestia rolled right-side up. "You're not a spy for my sister, are you? ARE you?"

"A what?" Twilight looked back at her and shook her head. "No, of course not Princess. Don't be ridiculous."

"Well why won't you call me 'Celly' like I asked?" Celestia rolled over in her bed again, still looking at Twilight but now upside down. "Don't you love me anymore? Just because I can't order you as a princess, you won't do little things for me?"

Twilight groaned, starting to feel as if she were talking to a thousand year old filly. "Yes, Princess. You know I love and respect you. That's why I still look up to you as a princess."

"So why won't you call me by my name? You call my bratty little sister hers. And...and... Hey, why don't you visit Canterlot more? It's not fun around here without you breaking into the library in the middle of the night."

"I did that once!" Twilight defended. "And I had my reasons!"

"Oh, I don't care about that," Celestia said. "But it was so cute watching you sneak into the castle library with your pink friend and Spike. Sneaking along stealthily, and trying to avoid the patrols of my guards. Saaay, have you tried wearing that skintight catsuit for Flash...Flash... What was it? Flash Sandwich? No, Flash Singer? No, Flash...Sentry?"

"Flash Sentry?" Cadance repeated. She remembered the name and how it belonged to one of the orange coated castle guards in her kingdom. She looked at Twilight quizzically, but almost laughed at the completely flustered and shocked face Twilight was giving them both.

"We are NOT talking about that here!" Twilight shouted, turning away in embarrassment.

"Ahhh, how fast they grow up," Celestia sighed happily. "I remember the days before Discord became so wrapped up in himself. And I remember the days where your brother never had the courage to even give a valentine for Hearts and Hooves day to little Cadance here..."

"Oh auntie, stop it," Cadance said, nudging Celestia gently. "You are never too old for a loving relationship."

"Maybe so," Celestia murmured dreamily, but then frowned with a large scowl. "But not so long as my brat of a sister insists on causing trouble!"

"What did she do exactly?" Cadance asked. Celestia's explanation had started out sensible, explaining that the two elder alicorns were in a bit of a friendly competition with each other. But as time had gone on, the conversation had degraded into a ramble about flavors of cake, diplomatic issues, diamond dog alpha males, Discord's history, and even graffiti on the surface of the moon. None of it had made any sense, with the only link seeming to be that the elder alicorn blamed her younger sister for all of it.

"I'll tell you what she did," Celestia grumbled furiously. She looked around angrily, searching for a wine bottle that still had some of its contents left for her to drink. "She...she... She insulted the summer!"

Cadance and Twilight exchanged looks.

"She insulted a season?" Twilight asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Summer is NOT just a season!" Celestia shouted suddenly, blowing Cadance off of her bed with the Royal Canterlot Voice. "Summer is my BEST creation! It was I who brought balance to this world by creating the four seasons, and stabilizing the world for ALL life on it! My little BRAT of a sister whines about her night never being appreciated, but what did the stars ever do to bring peace and stability to the ENTIRE world!?"

With that said, Celestia flopped back down onto her bed and sighed.

"...I need more wine. Somepony bring me more to drink."

"Oh, of course!" Cadance shouted, getting up from the ground. "We'll both do just that! Come on Twily!"

"What? B-but Cadance!" Twilight protested, only to be lifted up and carried out of the room by her foalsitter's magic. She flailed in the air, still holding onto one of the empty wine bottles with her own magic. "I'm not done yet! Wait a sec--!"

Ignoring her protests, Cadance opened the double doors to her aunt's bedroom. Walking out as quickly (but calmly) as possible, she flashed Celestia with an uneasy smile. "We'll be back soon, so don't come looking for us! I promise! In fact, please stay right there in bed. Like you are. And don't drop the moon on Luna."

Not waiting for an answer, Cadance closed the doors shut and put Twilight down.

"Alright Twilight, what were you thinking?"

"Ooooh? Now you want to listen to me, huh?" Twilight said, rolling her eyes.

"Twily! Don't be like that," Cadance whispered in a hushed voice. "You saw how she was acting! If we said something wrong she could have taken it the wrong way, and then we would really be in trouble."

"Well, it's only a theory so far," Twilight said, as she and Cadance began to walk down to the cellars of the castle. "But I think we should try talking to Luna as well. I want to hear both sides of the story before we try anything."

"Ahem. Mares? I have a theory on the matter as well."

Both Cadance and Twilight stopped and looked around. They both turned at the same time, and saw that a nearby scenic painting of several ponies besides a lake included one mismatched draconequus in the group. Discord looked down at the two princesses from his painting, before snapping his claws and appearing before the two of them in a puff of smoke. He wore several fluffy pink towels all around his body including one wrapped around his head, all of which were soaked wet with water.

"I'd almost forgotten how wonderful the baths in the castle are. I haven't had to bathe like a mortal in hundreds of years." With another snap of his claws, the wet towels around him disappeared and his fur dried instantly. "Say, either of you haven't seen most of my powers lying around, have you?"

"Discord, we don't have time for your games." Twilight said, moving to walk around him.

"Oh, but I beg to differ." Walking alongside her very ordinarily, Discord kept pace with her, with Cadance following behind. "I wasn't joking, by the way. You two want to find out why sunny-butt and moon-butt are acting so silly, right?"

Twilight stopped suddenly, glaring up at him. "Did you do something to them!?" she accused.

Discord let out an indignant snort, crossing his mismatched arms. "Really, you insult my artistic taste. Do you still fear me as some sort of crazy mastermind who controls the universe? Do you think I would do something so cliche' and predictable?"

Twilight continued to glare up at him, but she had to admit that he was right. She would probably never understand the taste of an immortal god of chaos, but the one thing Discord constantly avoided were performing tricks that could be construed as predictable. She didn't doubt that even the most elaborate plans he could come up with would probably never satisfy him if there was the slightest risk of somepony understanding it.

"Mister Discord, could you please tell us what you are thinking?" Cadance asked politely, breaking the silent stare down.

"Hmph. Well, I see some princesses have some respect for their elders," Discord stuck his tongue out at Twilight. "To put it simply, I think that Celestia is stealing my thunder."

"Your thunder?" Twilight asked, clearly confused. "What does the weather have to do with this?"

"I don't mean it literally, you adorable little bookworm," Discord mocked, reaching out a hand to tug at her cheeks that was immediately slapped away. "What I mean, is that Celestia and Luna are drawing in the forces of chaos without knowing it. And because of that, they're acting a lot like...me! Haha!"

"What!? That's absurd! How could that even be possible!?" Twilight shouted. "Celestia and Luna would never experiment with chaos magic!"

"Very true, very true." Discord nodded in agreement. "But it may not be as simple as that. I doubt you know, because Celestia would never teach you, but chaos magic is something much more finite in the world. Flexible, but finite. Not at all like the natural magics ponies that use every day."

To demonstrate his point, Discord held out both of his arms and opened his palms. Twilight and Cadance watched as a small white light glowed in his left claws and a purple glow started to emit from his right paw. Slowly the light of the left claw was absorbing the purple glow in the right paw, changing its color to a more grayer tint.

"As much as it kills me to admit it, Celestia is a much stronger magnet for magical power than me. If she and her sister ever willed it, I would be hard pressed to fight them both for control over the chaos magic in our world." Discord rolled his eyes. "But since we all know what Celestia thinks of my beloved chaos, she would never even try having a little fun from time to time. Except for now, that is."

"Hold on, do you expect me to believe that Princess Celestia would try to use chaos magic to one-up Luna?" Twilight asked incredulously. "After hundreds of years of being against it?"

"Oh of course not," Discord nodded. "That would be ridiculous. That's why I think she doesn't know that she's doing it. I think somepony or some THING is feeding it to her in secret," he whispered, wiggling his digits around spookily for dramatic effect.

"Well...what do you think we should do to fix it?" Twilight asked hesitantly, still not believing him fully.

"Well..." Discord mimicked her hesitancy, before chuckling uneasily. "I have no idea. I've never had to deal with this before. No one has ever managed to use chaos magic without destroying themselves, excluding yours truly, haha! I might just have to man up and suck the chaos out of her through skin contact, if you know what I mean." He winked suggestively, waggling his eye brows as he did.

Twilight looked at him with a face of utter disgust. Letting out a groan, she walked past him brushing him off.

"Forget about him, Cadance. Let's go talk to Luna."

"Fine! Be like that!" Discord shouted after her, noting the apologetic look he at least got from Cadance. "I'll get my powers back without your help! Some princess you turned out to be!"

Sticking his snout in the air, Discord snapped his fingers and walked right into a wall he wanted to phase through.

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