One Night in Saddle Arabia

by A Wise Pony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Princess Celestia
Length: 1785

During her visit to Saddle Arabia, Princess Celestia discovers a new drink that has some unexpected effects on her.

Princess Celestia has lived a long time, and knows a great many things. But some things are still new to her. Unfortunately, new things, no matter how pleasant, can sometimes have unexpected side effects. Effects that might worry her sister.

Despite the description, no alcohol is involved. Inspired by an etiquette article and the fact that the Princess has only been seen to partake of one kind of beverage in the entire series; it's about time she broadened her horizons a bit.

Standard Boilerplate: All Characters from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic © Hasbro.
No infringement intended, no monetary gains made from these stories.

Published 2013-04-18 06:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-18 06:50:01 UTC

A Certain Liquor

Princess Celestia sipped her drink as she watched the evening's entertainment. Much of the expansive courtyard had been converted to a stage, and the acrobatic feats and complex dances being performed in her honor were superb; the Saddle Arabians had gone all out for her visit. In fact, the performance, though she was reluctant to admit it, might very well put the tarot routine Twilight had planned to shame.

One of her hosts asked her a question in the lyrical local language. Celestia answered without hesitation; in over a millennium of rule, she'd learned about quite a few things, languages among them. Although, this beverage was new to her. It was dark, sweet and smooth, with a pleasant aroma that seemed vaguely familiar.

As she set her cup down, a servant hurried forward to refill it. Celestia stifled a grin as she remembered a similar instance of such swift and attentive service. Still, now that she thought of it, she hoped her bit of fun hadn't stained the Cake's tablecloth. That, as well as her own dislike of repeating pranks kept her from trying the same trick here. Instead, she thanked the servant, took another sip, and set the now empty cup aside. The servant again stepped forward and, with a tilt of his head, refilled the cup from the pot he held.

An idea began to form in Celestia's head. She took another drink and slowly lowered the cup back to the table. The servant again poured more of the beverage into it, stopping just short of the brim. Celestia immediately seized the cup and drained it. He poured again, faster this time. She drank just as fast, this time with a loud slurp. Her hosts looked at her oddly. Celestia smiled reassuringly and restrained herself to polite sips. Still, she was determined now: she was going to find out just how many cups that pot held.

***

In Canterlot, the moon rose above the horizon, and Princess Luna relaxed as the glow of her horn faded. The spell would continue slowly, until it was time to fully lower the moon to make way for the next day's sun. Now, it was time to travel the world of dreams.

The Princess of the Night soared through the minds of her subjects, calming a nightmare here or there, or pausing briefly to marvel at the joy of a happy dream. She noticed, with some pleasure, that a good number of the latter did involve a nocturnal backdrop. They were not quite equal in number to those where the sun shone in the sky, but Luna did not dwell on this, choosing to be content that there were those who did appreciate her night, even as they slept.

Besides, the solar orb floating through the collective unconscious was constant reminder of the last visit she planned to make this night. Since her return to her duties as the guardian of dreams, Luna had ended each night with a visit to her sister's mind. Unlike many, Celestia typically shared her lucidity, and this tradition was a pleasant occasion, a chance to converse before day broke and Luna herself found sleep. They had had many memorable conversations, and tonight, Luna hoped to further discuss plans for Equestria's near future, and of one pony in particular. She departed the last of the dreams of the ponies who slumbered below, then cast herself further afield, towards the distant dreams of those in Saddle Arabia. As she searched, she recognized a few: the ambassadors, their families and friends, and others less familiar. But she could not find Celestia.

Had Luna been corporeal at that moment, a cold shiver would have run down her spine. Celestia rarely missed sleep; indeed, in the three years since her return, Luna only knew her to have stayed awake this far into the night on two occasions: during the time leading up to the Changeling attack on Canterlot, and the few days when King Sombra had once again threatened the returned Crystal Empire. If Celestia was again out of bed at this hour, then something was doubtless very wrong.

Luna returned to the physical world, and immediately began another spell. Her horn glowed, and a whirlwind of magic surrounded her as she warped space itself to appear in Celestia's chambers in Saddle Arabia. As the magical energies dispersed, she steeled herself, ready to offer counsel in the face of whatever new threat loomed on the horizon.

***

At the telltale sound of magical transport, Celestia set down the steaming cup she held and turned away from her writing to see who her visitor was. “Oh! Luna! Good evening.”

“You mean good morning, sister. What troubles you, to be awake at this hour?” Strangely, Luna was sniffing the air. Celestia wondered if perhaps her sister smelled her drink.

“Troubles? Nothing troubles me tonight, Luna.” Celestia took a sip from her cup before continuing. “No, I just couldn't sleep tonight for some reason.”

“Why not? Are you sure nothing is the matter?”

“Well, I am in the middle of a little contest,” Celestia admitted. “You see, at dinner, one servant kept refilling my cup as fast as I could drink it, and rather than send him away, I decided to make a game of it, and so I finished the pot he had, then turned in for the night, only I wasn't tired, and then the servant knocked on my door and he had a fresh pot of whatever this delightful drink is.” She waved the cup for emphasis, her magic wavering and almost splashing some of the cups contents onto the floor. “So I continued the contest, and he's just now gone back to the kitchen for another pot—” There was a knock on the door. “And that should be him now.”

“I see,” Luna said as Celestia opened the door to admit a tired-looking horse with a pot on his back. Luna took the opportunity to glance at what Celestia had been writing. The words were strangely uneven, almost illegible. “And what are you writing?”

“Oh, just an alphabetized history of Equestria,” Celestia explained as the servant refilled her cup. Again, the smell seemed to catch Luna's attention. “I've almost finished the section on Cloudsdale.” She thanked him before draining the cup again and holding it out for a refill.

Luna noticed an exasperated look on the horse's face. That, added to the familiar aroma in the room gave her a fairly good guess of why Celestia was awake. “How many pots have you had, sister?”

“Oh...a few.” Sip.

“How many is a few?”

“Nine, I think.” Sip.

“Nine! You mean you have drunk nine pots of coffee yourself?”

“Coffee! Is that what it's called?” Celestia smiled as she took yet another drink. “I kept meaning to ask, but after each cup so many new ideas came to me that I kept forgetting to.”

“I see. You do know what coffee does, don't you?”

“Gets the mind working at top speed? Perhaps I should send Twilight some. She'd enjoy that.”

“That...and it keeps you awake.”

“Oh.” Celestia looked sheepish. She set down her cup; Luna noticed that her magical grip again shook noticeably. The servant promptly refilled it again. “But he keeps pouring.”

“I believe I can solve that.” Luna waited for Celestia to finish drinking, then gripped the cup herself and tilted it from side to side. An expression of relief washed over the servant's face. He bowed, took the cup, and left.

“What was all that about?” Celestia asked, puzzled.

“There are some traditions regarding coffee that you should know, sister,” Luna explained. “For instance, in Saddle Arabia, they will keep pouring you more until you shake the cup.”

“Oh. Oh no...so what I thought was a contest was just him doing his job?”

“Indeed.”

“So I was keeping him up. I had better apologize to him.” Celestia trotted towards the door, planning to do just that, but Luna moved to stand in her path.

“In the afternoon, sister.”

“The afternoon? Why is that?”

“You'll see in a few hours.”

***

Halfway though scrawling the first page on the settlement of Horseshoe Bay, Celestia yawned. “Oh, finally, I can get some sleep.”

“About that...” Luna pointed at something on the desk. Celestia followed her hoof to find...an hourglass, showing it would soon be dawn.

“Oh, no...” Still, it was her responsibility. Celestia trotted wearily to the balcony, Luna at her side. She forced herself to focus. Magic surrounded her horn, creeping up around its edges, until finally the spell was begun. With painful slowness, a glow appeared on the Eastern horizon. As minutes passed, it grew, until, finally, the sun was in the sky.

“A lovely sunrise, dear sister,” Luna chuckled. “So sedate.” A snore interrupted her laughter. Luna turned her gaze away from the sun, to see her sister curled up on the balcony, fast asleep. Smiling, she gently lifted Celestia up, levitated her to the bed, and set her down. Then she trotted out of the room and quietly closed the door. Now, to explain to their hosts why Celestia would not be joining them for breakfast. And (Luna stifled a yawn herself) to ask for a cup of coffee.

***

Author's Note: I read recently that when dining with the Bedouin tribes of the Middle East, when coffee is served the cup will be refilled until the drinker shakes the cup from side to side. Conveniently, an episode soon featured Saddle Arabians. Given that Princess Celestia is mainly assumed to be a tea drinker, I thought that she might not know what coffee smells or tastes like, particularly not a high-quality variety. These, coupled with her penchant for occasional, harmless mischief, got me thinking about a possible misunderstanding that might have occurred during her recent visit. Do recall, she did look especially awake during Twilight's nighttime performance (though perhaps that can be attributed to flight-lag). The result was this little short. Chapter title is from a quote of G.W. Parry: “A certain Liquor which they call Coffee...which will soon intoxicate the brain.”
And for those of you interested, the math is just barely right as far as time zones go. If it's moonrise in Cantlerlot, Luna would arrive in Saddle Arabia at just about 4 A.M. local time, assuming she left immediately. As for why she doesn't take much time for dream patrol, you'll have to go deeper to find an answer for that.~
Any inconsistency regarding the effects of coffee and the time it takes those effects to wear off is due to this writer's complete lack of knowledge regarding the beverage's effects on immortal equines.