4chan Goes to Ponyville

SO ONE DAY I WOKE UP LIKE I DO EVERY DAY LEL (LEL IS LIKE LOL BUT LOL IS FOR FEGS(FEGS IS LIKE FAGS BUT FAGS IS FOR FEGS))))))) AND I WALK OUTSIDE. I SEE THESE FUCKING PONY BITCHES RUNNIN' AROUND. NOW I'M CALM AND SHIT LIKE I ALWAYS AM YOU CAN ASK MY MOM SHE'S MY NIGGA WE SMOKE 5 HEROINS A DAY.

I WALK OUT BEIN' COOL AND SHIT TRYING NOT TO WET ALL THE PONY BITCHES AROUND ME. I FIND THIS PUNK ASS BITCH BB PONY CRYING IN AN ALLEY PROBABLY BECAUSE IT'S A FAGGOT.

"Hey," I WHISPER COMPASSIONATELY

THE LITTLE BITCH LOOKS UP LIKE I RAPED HIS PUPPY OR SOME SHIT

"You a narc?"

"Wh-what?"

THIS LITTLE FAGGOT'S BEEN ON MY NERVES FOR A LONG TIME NOW, BUT THIS WAS TIME FOR REVENGE

"FINE, FUCK YOU AND YOUR MOM!"

THE LITTLE NIGGER WAS CRYING SO HARD, IT WOULD CRACK MY ROCK HARD ERECTION.

"HEY, EVERYONE! THERE'S A FUCKING NARC HERE."

THEN I KICK HIM, TAKE OUT MY IPHONE7, LIGHT HIM ON FIRE, AND TAPE IT.

ENOUGH OF THAT SHIT, THOUGH. MY PENIS WAS SO HARD (IT'S TWO INCHES NOW NOT 1 1/2 GUYS!!!!!) I HAD TO GET SOME OF THAT SWEET AZZ PU$$AY. I THINK I'M IN A PARK. I'M PRETTY SURE EVERYWHERE'S A PARK. FUCK PARKS. THEN I SPY A PURPLE PONY READING SOME BOOKS LIKE A FUCKING NERD.

TRYING TO BE STEALTHY LIKE METAL GEAR SOLID, I SPRINT UP AND PUNT HER BOOK AWAY WHILE SHOUTING. "NEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRD" THIS IS A SURE-FIRE WAY TO GET THE BITCHES I PROMISE MY FRIEND SAID HE TRIED IT ONCE AND SEXED THREE GIRLS IRL.

TO SEAL THE DEAL I FLEXED MY 14 PACK AND UNZIPPED MY PANTS, LETTING MY GLORY HANG DOWN. THE PONY BITCH NIGGER FAGGOT CHEEKY CUNT DIKE BEGAN TO SCREAM FOR SOME REASON THOUGH.

A BULGING IN BOTH MY LEFT AND RIGHT POCKETS ALARMED ME. PREGO-COVERED SPAGHETTI BEGAN FLOODING OUT OF MY POCKETS AT AN ALARMING RATE. PILES OF IT FORMED AROUND ME UNTIL IT COULDN'T HANDLE THE WEIGHT IT PUT UPON ITSELF. THE PILES BEGAN CRUMBLING AND FALLING ON THE PONE, CRUSHING OR SMOTHERING THEM.

MASS RIOTING AND PANIC SPREAD LIKE WILDFIRE AS PONI BY THE DOZENS WERE BEING SWEPT ACROSS THE LAND IN A TSUNAMI OF SKETTI. ALL OF CNN COULDN'T HANDLE THE PANIC, FOX NEWS COULDN'T EXAGGERATE IT, BUT ONE PERSON COULD HANDLE IT.

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN.

GEORGE ZIMMERMAN, HERO OF KVATCH, SAVIOR OF SKYRIM, TRUE HIGH KING, KING OF THE JEWS,QUEEN OF ENGLAND, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, CEO OF MCDONALD'S, WALMART, AND BUNGIE RODE IN ON A FLAMING MOTORCYCLE EVEN GHOST RIDER WOULD BE ENVIOUS OF AND SWOOPED ME UP IN HIS CARING ARMS AND STROKED MY NECK.

A FEELING OF CALMNESS SWEPT OVER ME AS THE POWER OF 45 ORGASM SURGED THROUGH MY FRAIL BODY.

HE HELD ME CLOSE TO HIS MOUTH AND WHISPERED, "You can't simmer the Zimmer."

GOD                                                           SAVE                                         THE                                                           QUEEN