Fluttershy was the first to arrive at their table at Crispy’s, bounding over and sitting across from Rarity, and for a while, the four of them just shared in pleasant small talk.

“So, Twilight, what’s the skinny on this super-special something you wanted to show us?” the yellow pegasus asked her unicorn friend.

“I’d like to wait until we’re all sitting together,” Twilight told her.

Then Pinkie Pie arrived, unexpectedly bringing Granny Smith along with her.

“Ah hope ya’ll don’t mind mah granny bein’ here with us,” said Pinkie Pie.

“Whyever would we, Pinkie, dear?” Rarity said, “Please help yourself to a seat, both of you! Lero, darling, would you run and fetch an extra chair?”

As he did so, Granny Smith asked, “Any a’ yew youngins know whether they still serve eggplant parmesan here?”

Rarity took a quick skim of the menu. “Yes, they do.”

“Been a dog’s age since Ah last sank mah chompers inta eggplant,” the old Apple matriarch said, wincing slightly as her bad hip settled on the chair.

“I’ll bet!” Fluttershy suddenly giggled. “Hey, Granny Smith, do you ever get tired of apples?”

“D’ya ever get tired of candy?” Granny asked her back.

Rarity and Pinkie had a laugh at that, which Twilight and Lero were slower to join. Fluttershy looked as though she’d just been given twenty bits.

“Oh! Did you hear the one about the two parakeets who were sitting on a perch? The first one turned to the second one and said, ‘Doesn’t it smell fishy to you?’”

“Now THAT’S an image Ah can live without,” said Granny, “Birdies sittin’ atop a dead fish!”

Then Rainbow Dash found their table.

Twilight Sparkle had told Lero earlier that in her letter to Dash, she’d promised to have Spike babysit the animals for her if she came. Spike had set off for the cottage a half hour before the three of them left for Crispy’s.

“Hi, guys,” she said, and the other girls mirrored her greeting back.

Lero welcomed her with a hug. “How are you holding up?”

“Well enough!” she told him, returning the hug with an appreciative smile. “Thanks a million for sending Spike.”

“Gotta say, Dash, you’re looking a LOT better than the last time we were all together at one table!” said Lero.

“Same to you!” she said. On a good day like today, Rainbow Dash was only half as hesitant and shy as Fluttershy had originally been. “I promise you, though; I’m not gonna fall asleep like last time.”

They sat next to each other at the table; Rarity on Lero’s right, Dash on his left.

Applejack was last to arrive. Lero almost thought she’d end up skipping out entirely, but then, midway through their appetizers, the former farmer finally showed.

“Fashionably late, I see!” Rarity said, waving her over. “I hope you don’t mind that I ordered a split pea soup for your appetizer!”

“Split pea suits me fine, Sugarcube!” Applejack said. After sitting, Applejack bent down, sipping out of the bowl, and recoiled. “Still hot!” she laughed, and then gave it a cooling blow of air. For his part, Lero was gladdened to see that the power of their friendship was able to prevail over the constraints of her Diamond Mark.

Lero stood up. “Excuse me, ladies, I need a bathroom break!” He left the table. But instead of heading to the bathroom, he snuck out the side door, circled around the restaurant into its back alley, and then came back to the table with Lyra by his side.

“Hi, girls!” Lyra greeted the rest. “Mind if I pull up a chair?”

“Lyra!” Before the aqua unicorn knew it, she had Rarity’s arms wrapped tight around her shoulder. Rarity kissed Lyra like the long-lost lover her altered memories insisted she was. The same sweetheart’s-kiss-to-her-returned-sailor Rarity had given Lero, almost a full month ago. This happened all while the others were still echoing Rarity’s exclamation of Lyra’s name.

Had his own eyes showed as much shock as Lyra’s now did? Lero would have bet on it.

“Oh, Lyra, this is WONDERFUL! Just so wonderful!” With one arm still swung around Lyra’s shoulder, Rarity turned to address the whole of the table.

“My sweet songbird has finally flown back home!”

The others cheered; Pinkie even patted Twilight happily on the back, as though her friend had won a prize!

At first, Lyra stiffened, wide-eyed. To Lero, she had the look of a girl who’d been teleported into a strange cage filled with five enormous wolfhounds — and the especially toothy white one right next to her was ready to hump her leg.

But then Lyra’s eyes flicked to Lero, and what she did next surprised him.

In the space of a second and a half, Lyra shut her eyes, seeming to jettison all her panic in a single expulsive breath. As if refusing to allow these strange hounds to scent any fear. Her eyes reopened. And with her gladdest smile, she turned back towards Rarity and embraced her fully like a dear sister. She even kissed the side of Rarity’s cheek.

“You really know how to roll out the welcome wagon for me, Rarity,” Lyra told her, softly.

“As if I could ever be halfhearted about welcoming you back to the nest, my darling songbird,” Rarity replied, returning the hug in full.

Half the table went “awww.” All the table were smiling.

“But seriously, Lyra, this is such an unfit ‘welcome wagon’ for you!” said Rarity, pulling away. “Had I known we’d be seeing you now, Fluttershy and I would’ve pulled out every stop! Did you JUST come off the Friendship Express? Just now?”

“Actually, Rarity, everypony, I have a confession to make.” Lero announced. “Late last night, I’d gone for a stroll and met up with Lyra around ten o’clock, and I thought that rather than her saying hi, exhausted, and going right to bed, it’d be niftier to pull this surprise on you all!”

"How'd you pull that off?" Twilight asked. "Even I didn't know Lyra was here!"

“Twilight, you remember that old house of Lero’s you attached to the main library?” Lyra spoke up. “Well, that’s where I slept last night, and where I hid all morning!”

Rarity stared amazedly at Lero. “To think, my prince would be such a sly and sneaky fox!”

When she leaned forward to kiss him, Lero’s arms were prepared to receive Rarity. It was a soft and easy kiss when their lips met. Midway through this kiss, out of the corner of his eye, Lero could see Lyra gaping at him in closed-mouthed shock. As if he, too, had just been swapped. Lero feel very self-conscious. Now Lyra was where he had been, and he was where Twilight had been.

Rarity grinned while pulling away. “Now I’m wondering... what other delightful surprises are you hiding from me back at home? I’ll have to snoop around the house and see, sometime!”

Lyra cast a glance at the momentary look of worry he and Twilight shared.

“Hey, is Spike here?” she asked, levitating a bag that sounded to be full of rocks. Or is he in the bathroom? I brought that jet I promised him!”

“Um, well... Spike’s at my place, looking over the animals for me,” Rainbow Dash told her. “Sorry about that.”

Lyra, who hadn’t taken a seat yet, took a long assessing look at Dash... especially at the Butterfly Mark she now sported.

Dash squirmed uncomfortably under that gaze, until Lyra said, “Rainbow, I’ve, uh... heard that your animals have been getting a bit on the wild side lately.”

“Oh,” said the pegasus, turning downcast. “Yeah... yeah, they are.”

“If it’s not too much trouble... the next time Lero goes to help you out, would you mind if I tagged along with him?” Lyra asked, her eyes beseeching. “I’d love to help you out too... just to be of assistance, and to spend time with you.”

“Sure!” Dash answered, surprised and touched. “Sure, the more the merrier! But I warn you, they aren’t...!”

Lyra hugged Dash. “I’ll be there. I swear I’ll be there for you, Rainbow.”

At first Dash was surprised. But then the shy pegasus looked over at Lero, perhaps remembering how he’d hugged her at his own welcome home party... and returned Lyra’s hug warmly.

“Aw... she’s crying!” Fluttershy sighed.

Lyra wiped away at her eyes. “It’s just... so good to be home!” she explained, through her tears.

Rainbow Dash looked past the aqua unicorn. “Hey, Twilight? Rarity? I gotta say, between Lero and Spike and... and Lyra, now... you two REALLY know how to pick ‘em!”

“Don’t I know it!” said Rarity. “I’ll tell you something; if you mingled more with mares and stallions, there’s no reason you can’t meet herdmates who’ll be just as good to you as mine are to me!”

“Think I’ll give it a try, once I have a better handle on things back home! I’d love to find some really good ones!” Before the pegasus’ words could cut her heart any deeper, Lyra moved on to Pinkie Pie and her ‘grandmother.’

“Hello, Pinkie. Hello, Mrs. Smith. Thank you both for coming.”

“Shucks, Lyra, it’s our pleasure bein’ here!” said Pinkie.

“Hope ya don’t mind me taggin’ along to this here shindig a’ yers,” said Granny Smith.

“Of course not!” Lyra assured the old girl. “My shindig is your shindig! And Pinkie,” she said, turning back to her pink friend. “I don’t know if I told you this before... if not I’ll say it now: I’ve always found it wonderful of you, how committed you are to your family. Never let that change.”

Pinkie Pie nodded with deep emotion. “Ah ain’t plannin’ ta... mah family’s the world ta me!”

As Pinkie Pie hugged the old girl beside her, Lyra turned to Applejack. “Applejack! How goes things at the Boutique?”

The fashionista returned her smile uncomfortably. “Let’s talk ‘bout that sum other time, ‘kay, sugar cube?”

“Lyra!” Fluttershy said, using the flustered silence to cut in. “Hey, did you hear the one about the rhubarb that...?”

“How are Pound and Pumpkin doing these days, Fluttershy?” the aqua unicorn asked.

This question transformed Fluttershy’s whole attitude. From the nearly skull-like, tightly-wound jokester’s grin, her smile softened into something more natural, maternal, and honest. The smile of Fluttershy’s old self, or at least very close to it.

“Oh, Pound and Pumpkin are both such adorable little dears... cute as a pair of puppies!” The yellow pegasus unconsciously made a cradling gesture by her chest. “Oh, how I love watching them and laughing with them and playing with them and feeding them their milk!”

“They like you, then?”

“Oh, yes!” said Fluttershy “We’re really attached to one another!”

“Well, I’m not the least bit surprised!” said Lyra. The Cakes should count themselves lucky they can leave their foals in such good hooves as yours! You’re just the best caretaker I know of, Fluttershy,”

Dash was a bit put out to hear this. But the compliment pleased Fluttershy so much that she completely forget to try cracking another joke for the rest of their meal together.

“Twilight?” she said, coming at last to her other herdmate.

“Oh, Lyra, I’m so happy to see you!” Twilight said as they hugged.

“I missed you terribly, Twilight,” Lyra told her. “I hope you’re taking it easy on yourself.”

“Come, Lyra, you can sit right between the both of us!” Rarity said, levitating a chair between herself and Twilight, before the lavender unicorn could say anything.

Only Lero really caught sight of the gulp which Lyra gulped down, as she sat beside Rarity.

“Now, you simply MUST tell us... where have you been all this while?” The white unicorn insisted, patting Lyra’s wrist. “You haven’t been sending us nearly enough letters!”

The letters from Celestia which Twilight Sparkle had intended to pass out to her other four friend remained hidden under her chair, as the conversation was given entirely over to Lyra. Not that Twilight even minded. She was just as eager as all the rest of them to learn about Lyra’s adventures on her sabbatical. And so Lyra told her tale.

* * *

The purpose of my sabbatical was to visit three Still Way grandmasters around the world.

“Did they know you were coming?” asked Rainbow Dash.

I’d sent them all letters months in advance, and they all accepted. None of us had ever met before, but we knew each other by reputation. The first and closest one was Grandmaster Strawflower, who was taking part in a big-budget movie production way down south in the San Palomino Desert.

“A movie?!” exclaimed Lero.

Yes. Its working title is Mission Force Ninja, directed by Bay Breeze...

“Bay Breeze?!” Twilight exclaimed. The bibliophilic unicorn wasn’t as big a movie watcher as some of her other friends, but even she knew that director’s name.

That’s right, Bay Breeze. Master Strawflower acted as both martial arts choreographer and she plays the role of Mayfly, the hero’s mentor.

“Beggin’ yer pardon, Miz Lyra,” Granny Smith interrupted. “Not that an ol’ apple-bucker like me’d know any better ‘bout a unicorn thang like the Still Way, but moviemakin’ don’t strike me as a very grandmaster-y thang ta do. Navel-gazin’ on a mountaintop, mebbe, or headin’ a sisterhood a’ monks...”

It's true, the Still Way and other martial arts have asceticism as a long-held tradition, but not a strict requirement, even for grandmasters. Master Strawflower actually did something like that for five years running. Disappeared off the face of Equestria to meditate in a tent by a lonely oasis. We all thought she died. That was part of why I was so excited to see her.

I remember Master Strawflower welcoming me into her trailer. I asked what brought her here, and Strawflower said, “Lyra, I came to a realization: it’s easier to be principled when you isolate yourself. To keep true to your convictions among others was the real challenge. And I hungered to be challenged. So when Bay Breeze sought her out for her upcoming movie, I signed on right away.”

Fluttershy leaned in closer. “Was it the fight scenes? The special effects? Was that the challenge?”

All of that, we could deal with. As I came to find out, to be on the set of a Bay Breeze film is to wade through a quagmire of decadence and debauchery.

“So the rumors ARE true!” Rarity marveled. Then Lyra’s eyes darted over to a neighboring table, where a family with two young fillies were eating. Her voice lowered.

Keep in mind... The Still Way’s been around for a while, and there are many different views regarding substance usage. Some practitioners are complete teetotalers, like Master Strawflower. Others use mind-altering substances to aide in reaching certain meditative states. In ancient times, certain plants with stimulating properties were eaten before battle to give an edge. I, myself, practiced under the influence of certain tranquilizers used by assassins to disable the guards of their targets non-lethally, so I could continue to fight while tranquilized.

However, most schooled in the Still Way agree that recreational use, especially to excess, is a distraction and weakness. Muddies the mind, weakens the body... a thousand times more ruinous than overeating! So as for the set... I don’t want to get into TOO many details, since there are foals in earshot, but there was substance abuse galore! So many drunks! Arriving on the set hung-over... chugging liquor while skimming the script! So many stoners! You could smell the witch weed coming off their costumes... I’m almost certain the director of photography was growing it secret!

And Bay Breeze, herself... Twilight, she came onto ponies like your mother does! The teenage girl who plays the movie’s heroine was Breeze’s daughter, and she was a chip off the old block! And they were able to get away with it all because they were filming in the middle of a desert!

“And what were you doing all throughout this, Lyra?” asked Twilight.

Well, after I wrote to Master Strawflower, asking if I could visit, she helped negotiate a deal between me and Bay Breeze where I got to be a cast member.

“Yew got a role in a movie?! Ah always wanted ta be in a movie!” said a wide-eyed Applejack, before calming herself down. “Bet you were just an extra, right?”

Well, to be sure, it wasn’t that LONG of a role. Ironically, they had me play a bounty hunter who kills off Mayfly!

“Who?” asked Pinkie Pie.

Master Strawflower’s character, the hero’s mentor. I even got a line!

Then Lyra put on a villainous sneer. “‘I got her! She’s dead! The money is mine!”

Most of them laughed. Rarity clapped her hooves.

And then I have a brief martial arts clash with the lead actress, who blows up my head. But the thing of it was... in the face of all that vice and iniquity going on around her... Master Strawflower remained not simply coolheaded but incorruptible. Never tempted by any of it. Did the job she was asked to do — pleasantly and professionally — without sharing in the production team’s self-indulgence. Truly, an experience worthy of a Still Way grandmaster. Annoyed the director to no end. I think she was hoping that she'd snag a grandmaster notch on her bedpost.

I was her constant companion every day, until they’d finished filming the scenes I was in. Got a lot of teasing because of it, but I was proud to stand by her side! Master Strawflower taught me so much about serenity, maintaing your temper when surrounded by disagreeable ponies, and not giving into temptation, peer pressure, or frustration. I also picked up quite a few moves from her, between breaks in filming.

“When’s this movie supposed to come out?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“And what do you think of the movie, in and of itself?” Lero asked.

Next year, I think. And from what I’ve seen of the script and the production, it shows every sign of being a top-grossing blockbuster. I might’ve remained longer and helped Strawflower out with choreographing the rest of the movie... but I had a ship to board so I could sail off to see Grandmaster Hushpuppy.

“And where was she located?” asked Twilight.

This time, Lyra brought out a map, laid it on the table. The San Palomino sat bordered on the west by an ocean. Lyra traced a western path from the ocean to the middle of a different continent.

“Here!” she said, and an eye-catching circle of bright magic formed over one of the countries. “In the land of Gǔo-xìa, in the middle of the city of Huţul Village, that’s where you’ll find Master Hushpuppy’s dojo.”

“Ah didn’t know there WAS such a country,” said Applejack.

* * *

Few in this part of the world do. Now... Master Hushpuppy’s dojo is as traditional and old-fashioned as you can get, the sort that would be right at home in a traditional martial arts movie. A gorgeous, expertly-crafted structure fashioned entirely of bamboo, made to house one hundred Still Way students. Her village is on the edge of what the locals call the ‘Bù-Qū Sha-Mo,’ which translates to ‘Unyielding Desert.’

“Did you make yourself learn a new language before going on this sabbatical of yours, Lyra, darling?” Rarity asked.

I learned enough to get by with, Rarity. Thankfully, there were enough ponies at the dojo who already knew the language we’re all speaking that it wasn’t a problem.

Now, as a sensei, Master Hushpuppy was stern and strict... but ultimately a very... very lovable old girl. Always had her students’ best interests at heart. When I arrived at her dojo, she asked me some questions and had me perform a few moves to ascertain my level of skill... then she grouped me with her highest-ranking pupils.

"Well, that's only natural. You are a Grandmaster, yourself." Twilight pointed out.

Being a grandmaster doesn't necessarily mean I'm the best, even against those who are still training. It means I've reached a certain level of skill and accomplishment, and trained at least one student of my own to Master status. Sometimes some Senseis have higher standards than most. At any rate, I had gone on this sabbatical to learn; not to show off or flaunt my rank.

So for two weeks, I was just another student at her school... warm-up stretches, sparring with other students, learning new techniques and drilling them. But it wasn’t as though we kept ourselves shut inside the dojo all day long. We’d take our lessons outside often... running and sparring in different types of terrain! We’d always finish by sitting in a circle around Master Hushpuppy and reviewing Still Way philosophy.

“Preachin’ ta the choir,” Granny Smith said.

Not... quite. They more resemble the old philosophical debates, rather than a lecture or sermon, the students sitting in a circle with the master, debating points amongst themselves, which the master making suggestions for topics and offering guidance and wisdom, but not telling them what to think. Enlightenment is something that can't be simply told to you, it must be obtained with as much mental as physical effort. This is why things such as koans exist...

“Koan?” With her face all furrowed up, Granny Smith looked even more like a dried-up green apple. “That anythang like a pinecone?”

Er, no, Mrs. Smith. A koan, spelled K-O-A-N, is a sort of mental exercise to keep your mind limber and flexible. In addition, when you’re learning something as dangerous as a martial art, it’s only fitting to that the 'choir' be regularly reminded that you’re learning it for the sake of peace. There's little else quite as dangerous than a rogue Still Way practitioner... especially a skilled one.

When lessons were over, though, Master Hushpuppy would spend the rest of the afternoon with me. She showed me around the forestlands and the village, introducing me to the natives. We’d share tea and rice balls, or play games of shogi or go, or held hang-gliding races...

“Hang-gliding races?!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

Very popular and traditional pastime in Gǔo-xìa. I think I made a good impression on her. At one point, after I told Master Hushpuppy how I was herdmates with the Elements of Loyalty and Magic she... she actually pulled me out of my futon in the wee hours of the morning, and trained me in a few secret, forbidden techniques. Stuff even her prize pupils weren’t allowed to learn.

“What kind of techniques?” Fluttershy asked eagerly.

They’re secret and forbidden for a reason. She said she taught me them because if I was that close to the Elements, I would most likely need them, but they are not to be spread to others unless their own need was as great as mine. But by far, the single most unique thing about Master Hushpuppy as a sensei was her focus on changelings.

The entire table looked at one another curiously. “Why would they focus on changelings?” Twilight asked, speaking for them all.

You remember my mentioning the Unyielding Desert? Well, the desert‘s kind of like our Everfree Forest. A wild place that resists all efforts at weather control. A hive of changelings live there.

“How CAN they, though?” asked Fluttershy. “It’s a desert! Nothing can possibly live in a desert!”

Oh, Fluttershy, you should try telling that to the snakes, the scorpions, the lizards, the elf owls, the sand cats, and the bighorn sheep! And, of course, the changelings of the Unyielding Hive!

“How bad were these changelings?” asked Rarity.

Depends on who was in charge at the time.

“Huh?” said Applejack.

The Unyielding Hive goes through queens like my stallion goes through socks. Constant and ongoing power struggle. With ruthless queens, the Hive has raided the Huţul Village, making off with ponies to hypnotize into being a love source... or else amplify their efforts to infiltrate families, though never in such quantities as to threaten the village's existence.

“Like livestock...” Lero growled.

...Other times, there have been kindhearted queens, and then the Unyielding Hive has traded with ponies and aided them against greater threats, such as the enormous monsters of the Desert, and reaped much love and goodwill therein.

In her teachings, Hushpuppy really emphasized EVERYTHING a Still Way student would ever want to know about changelings. She was the only pony who knew the changeling martial arts school of Be-Yu. She taught us what to look for, if you suspect somepony of being a changeling impostor. Where to concentrate your attacks when fighting a changeling... or MULTIPLE changelings. But also... she taught how to fight WITH changelings, as allies.

“How did she teach THAT?” asked Rainbow Dash.

Because two of her students WERE changelings: Cuckoo Egg and Goldeneye, both raised by pony families. Cuckoo Egg loved to stay in pony form, while Goldeneye preferred looking like an actual changeling. Both of them believed that peace and cooperation with ponies were ideal - but of course, the queen at the time, the ruthless Queen Ovipositor, wouldn’t hear anything of it. On two occasions, Master Hushpuppy would pick teams, and she’d stage rescue missions into changeling territory. She let me participate the second time.

“Wow,” said Lero.

But things came to a head, about three weeks in, when a ferocious Stonedrake began terrorizing Huţul Village. Horrible, dangerous things, Stonedrakes. Dragons made out of rock. Instead of straight-out fire, their breath is like volcanic ash. And they very definitely ARE meat eaters.

They all shuddered.

Master Hushpuppy sent a student of hers under a white flag, beseeching Queen Ovipositor’s aid in in defeating the rock-bodied beast. Instead, that student was taken prisoner.

“What did the ponies need changelings for?” asked Twilight. “Couldn’t they have dealt with it themselves?”

With great effort, yes, but Stonedrakes are HIGHLY resilient beasts. Very resistant to both magical and physical attacks. Cuckoo Egg explained that the most effective way of dealing with one is to have a changeling swarm driving one off; their subtle mind-magics of the can make it 'decide' to leave.

“So what’d yew do?” asked Pinkie Pie.

Master Hushpuppy organized a task force. There was myself... and Hushpuppy was team leader... also our two changelings, Cuckoo Egg and Goldeneye, along with two regular unicorns named Edamame and Bento Box. We all set out to the Unyielding Hive. Either we would negotiate a deal with the current queen... or put a new one on the throne.

At first, we approached the Hive with our white flag, until the changelings shot arrows at us.

“There are changelings who are archers?” asked Lero.

They may be a bit buggy, but yes, they can use tools and weapons!

“What did you do?”

We threw the white flag away and galloped forward, straight into the hive!

“What’d the changelings do?” asked Rainbow Dash.

Oh, mostly they just splattered against whichever wall we propelled them into, but we were still just six! Thank Celestia we had Cuckoo and Golden! Their job was to literally sniff out Queen Ovipositor. Changelings queens secret a pheromone imperceptible to pony noises, and they were leading us to its source. Everything was counting on a blitz attack! But changelings are tricksy, of course.

More than a few times, they tried to stop us with a ‘false hostage.‘ One changeling would shapeshift into a hostage, while her friend would play ‘kidnapper,’ demanding we cease our attack, ‘or the girl dies!‘ There were other times where smoke bombs would explode at our feet, and when the smoke cleared, EVERYPONY suddenly had twenty doppelgängers trying to attack them! Ugh! I hadn’t seen THAT many changelings since... since...!

“Since Twilight’s brother’s wedding!” Pinkie Pie shouted out. “Him ‘n’ Princess Cadence! Golly, girls, this all really takes ya back, don’t it?”

The rest of them all burst out into remembrances.

“Ya’ll remember that dress Ah made fer Cadence?” Applejack asked Rainbow Dash, elbowing her side.

“The dress?” Rainbow Dash grinned. “Nah, what I remember was at how far YOU could sock a changeling sailing through the sky, Miss Passion-For-Fashion!”

Applejack smiled modestly. “Well, brutishness ain’t a talent Ah wanna hang mah hat on, Dash, but when Ah’m backed inna corner, yew bet yer bottom bit this here rose got her thorns! And yew, Dash... Ah was jest AWED at how yew danced around them hole-legged beetles!”

“Uh... danced?” asked Dash.

“Yep! Changeling leapt at yew, ya ducked right in time for it ta crash headfirst inta another changeling!” The fashionista slapped her knee. “Pure slapstick! It was like yew was a black belt, not even needin’ ta raise a hoof at ‘em!”

Rainbow Dash laughed weakly, looking both scared and abashed by the memory. “Yeah. Me, a black belt. Because you all know how much a girl like me loves...” she gulped and cringed a little. “....confrontations.”

Lero didn’t blame Lyra for falling quiet. At the time, she'd been overjoyed to have been selected to be a bridesmaid for Princess Cadance, which would have been quite an honor, except that Queen Chrysalis had placed his poor herdmate under mind control, and had her serve as a prison guard for the actual Princess Cadence.

“Well, I was amazed at how Fluttershy weaponized her party cannon!” Rarity said, raising her glass respectfully towards the yellow pegasus.

Fluttershy grinned. “Usually, I have that cannon at: ‘Cake & Candles’ as a default setting, but when I saw how those changelings meant business, I cranked it up to ‘Bring Da House Down!‘“

The grin Rarity grinned was one part lioness and one part Conan The Barbarian: the same glee Rainbow Dash had always shown when leaving all the other racers eating her dust. “As for me, the memory of myself as a four-legged fly-swatting bug zapper is one I will savor! Were any of you keeping count of how many of those ugly lovesuckers needed to dogpile me before I was overpowered?!”

“All I remember is sharing a cocoon with your father, Twilight. And trying to see and hear through that goop they filled the cocoon with, and make sense of what was going on underneath us.” Lero muttered. God, he DESPISED cocoons. “Felt weird being able to breathe through that gunk.”

“So what happened THEN, Lyra?” Twilight Sparkle asked, cutting over the all the babble. The rest of them looked chagrined.

* * *

Well, eventually, we made it to Queen Ovipositor. She actually looked a lot like Chrysalis did, except a lot fatter, with more holes in her legs, and her mane was all crimped. Master Hushpuppy approached the the Queen.

“Lay down your crown,” she said, “And we’ll let you leave this hive alive.”

“I’m sorry, it doesn’t work that way, peasant.” The Queen answered. And that was when Master Hushpuppy’s spine was snapped.

“What?!” half the table screamed.

Yes. Shot in the back by a traitor in our midst.

“One of them changelin’ students, huh?!” cried Pinkie Pie.

No, Cuckoo Egg and Goldeneye were firmly on our side. The true culprit was Edamame, one of the unicorns.

“But... why?” asked Rainbow Dash.

Edamame spouted something about how Master Hushpuppy never truly respected her, and about how Queen Ovipositor was going to reward her with a slave village to rule while the changelings set forth to conquer all Gǔo-xìa. Then the Queen’s changelings closed around Edamame, and she disappeared into their ranks.

In the end, here’s how it played out: I focused on defending Master Hushpuppy from attackers, Bento Box did her best to heal our sensei, Cuckoo Egg fended off the horde of changelings, while Goldeneye dueled against Ovipositor. Thank goodness that Goldeneye prevailed and vanquished the Queen, otherwise I wouldn’t be here today.

“Unless...!” Granny Smith pointing an accusing hoof across the table. “...Yer not the real Lyra Heartstrings! Yer jest a changeling tryin‘ ta pull the wool over our eyes!”

* * *

The old biddy’s hoof hung pointing in the air, while the rest of them considered her words speechlessly.

“I’m... uh... not a changeling, Mrs. Smith,” responded Lyra, with no small amount of awkwardness.

“That’s jest the sorta thang a changelin‘ WOULD say!” Granny shot back.

Rarity pressed her hoof against Lyra’s cheek, turning her head so both of them were snout against snout, squinting into the aqua unicorn’s eyes. Lero could practically see beads of Lyra’s sweat sink into her fur as quickly as they were secreted from her pores.

“She’s the real Lyra,” Rarity pronounced.

“How d’ya KNOW, missy?!” said Granny.

“I know my songbird,” Rarity said.

Twilight smiled towards the old mare. “Look, Granny Smith, if it’d help ease your fears, I’d be perfectly happy to take a quick blood sample from Lyra as soon as we’re home.”

Pinkie Pie looked apologetically at Lyra and everyone else in her herd. “Ah’m dreadfully sorry ‘bout mah granny! She don’t mean nothin’ by it!”

“No, no, it’s quite alright, Pinkie!” Lyra assured. “I can hardly blame your grandma for her caution. If there’s anything I learned from Master Hushpuppy, it’s this: sometimes ponies aren’t what they outwardly appear to be. Even if you think you know somepony, it’s only smart to be a little wary, every now and then.”

“Heh! Wise advice,” said Applejack.

"Bah! Just funnin' ya youngsters!" Granny Smith cracked a smile. "You all takin' this so seriously! 'Sides, I ain't no spring chicken, any smart Changelin' wouldn't be tellin' us 'bout no changelings anyhow! Brings up suspicions. She'd make up some other story 'bout the master in tha' desert."

The rest of the table blinks at her, Fluttershy giggling. "Good one, Granny! You had us all fooled!" The others join her in light laughter.

Then Rarity gave Lyra a playful leer that set the Still Way master on edge again. “You know, I almost don’t care if she IS a changeling! If it’s love you feed on, then you shall certainly feast tonight!” The way she licked her lips at Lyra said: And so will I!

The lip-licking managed to actually catch Lyra off-guard. “C...cut it out, Rarity!” Lero hearing the brief stammer before steadying her voice. “Not in front of our friends!” She finished, actually managing a bit of playful sternness to cover.

“Mmm... alright, I’ll behave,” Rarity promised. “So what happened next? Did your sensei survive?”

Lyra hung her head, and the smile dropped from Rarity’s face.

* * *

Bento Box... was only able to stave off Master Hushpuppy’s death for so long. She lived to see the changelings of the Unyielding Hive bow to Goldeneye as their new queen. Lived to declare Cuckoo Egg to be the new master of her dojo. When Master Hushpuppy died, I got to watch her pony form burn away, revealing the changeling she’d actually been all along.

“No way...” Rainbow Dash whispered.

Yes way. You never can tell!

"What happened to Edamame?" asked Fluttershy.

I never saw her again but, well... the people you were hiding amongst suddenly becoming loyal to the person whose master you just murdered? Not good for your long-term survival. All Goldeneye had to say about Edamame was she ‘was dealt with,’ and that was fine with me.

After that, I stayed to watch Goldeneye’s changelings drive off the Stonedrake and to attend Master Hushpuppy’s funeral but then I moved on. One more grandmaster to visit. Profound Koan.

* * *

Profound Koan lived on an island small enough that it barely registers on most maps; Aardvark Island. I had to ride another train for about a day and a half, but after I reached the station, the island was close enough for an athlete like me to swim the rest of the way.

“Don’t like boats?” Applejack chuckled.

I like them well enough, and there was a ferry available. But I figured: ‘Why not? What's the point of all this physical fitness if I don't use it from time to time?’"

"Wait a moment, Lyra, I thought you couldn't swim!" Lero said.

Remember that time you'd dived after that mare Honeybee to save her from drowning?

"Yeah, I remember," Lero said. How Honeybee had kicked and struggled against him, as he tried to drag her back to the surface...

I taught myself how to swim right after that had happened. I figured that the next time someone's drowning, you won't have to risk yourself, or at the very least, you wouldn't have to go it alone.

Lero, Twilight, and Rarity all nodded. "You were so brave and noble, my prince, risking yourself to save that pony's life... and to think it was one of the Honey sisters, at that!" Rarity gushed. "I remember how Twilight got us all sick with worry, making us think Lero was doomed to sink to the bottom of that lake because 'most apes can't swim!'" Rarity recalled.

This was Lero's first time hearing this little detail. The whole table, Lero included, had a laugh as Twilight gave a shamefaced smile.

Anyway, Aardvark Island lives up to its name. There were only a couple things living on it: aardvarks, lots and lots of ants... and one single pony.

...Let me throw you all a question. When you think of a hermit, what kind of words come to mind?

“Alone,” said Fluttershy

“Hates company,” spoke Pinkie Pie.

“Austere,” said Rarity.

“Learned,” said Twilight Sparkle.

“Bum,” spat Granny Smith.

“Threadbare,” said Applejack.

“Stern,” said Lero.

When I reached the shores of Aardvark Island, I walked forward until I came to a what looked to be a roadside diner.

“Huh?!” said everyone.

Yeah. A small roadside diner. Like it’d been teleported straight off a Manehatten block. The kind that could fit maybe thirty ponies, maximum... Barstools and booths with red vinyl seating. Gum ball machines. Checkboard tiles on the floor. Venetian blinds. That kind of place.

“What’d they serve?” asked Lero.

Well, the menu I picked up and read indicated it was a sandwich joint. Grilled cheese, daisy and hyacinth wraps, baked beans, hay fries, malts and milkshakes... that kind of joint.

And then came this voice behind me: ‘Whatever you wanna get off this menu, I’m afraid they’re fresh out!”

I turned around and found this unicorn, grinning like a colt on his birthday. Light yellow mane, plum-colored coat.

“Are you Profound Koan?” I asked him.

And he answered: “A name is but a blanket of syllables thrown upon a pony’s back, a horseshoe to eventually be thrown. Name are inconsequential.”

And so I answered: ‘But does your blanket of syllables come out sounding like ‘Profound Koan?’”

And he gave a little hop and told me, ‘You’re gonna be a FUN one, Lyra Heartstrings!” Boundless energy, boundless enthusiasm; this was what defined Profound Koan. That and the endless wisdoms he shared with me. It was like being with a philosophical Pinkie Pie who could cast magic!

“Ya mean ta say this Koan guy was hardworkin’ and industrious?” asked Pinkie Pie.

I... uh... oh my goodness! Where’s my head? I was thinking about FLUTTERSHY, but somehow PINKIE PIE was what came out of my mouth!

“It happens,” Granny Smith said. Why, ya won’t believe how often Ah get mah own granddaughters’ names wrong!” She elbowed Pinkie Pie playfully. “Ain’t that right, Princess Celestia?”

...Although, Master Koan actually WAS industrious in his own respect. For the first day, when we were first getting to know each other, we cleaned the diner which Master Koan lived in. He was talkative and questioning, and encouraged me, above all else, to be talkative and questioning in turn.

I asked him what a diner was doing here on an island like this, and he answered, “Being a metaphor.”

I asked him to explain, and he said this: “in the end, are we not ALL like the diner on this island? Our WORLD is an island floating on the ocean that is the cosmos. And what are we, if not diners upon it; EXISTING in spite of all the astronomical odds?”

After I reflected on these words, Master Koan grinned and confessed that the diner was already here when he’d arrived on this island, and he had no clue as to its origins: “But it’s fun to make wild guesses, wouldn’t you say?”

“Sounds like a real goofball,” said Rainbow Dash.

He was a goofball... a WISE goofball. Absurdity was the salt he seasoned his wisdoms with. I remember one of the other things he asked me: “Why did you come to this island?”

I already knew this wouldn’t be a straightforward question, but still, I took the bait. I told him, “Because I wanted to find you.”

“And why did you want to find me?”

“Because I wanted to learn from you.”

“And why is it you feel you need more learning?”

“Because I’m aware I have room for improvement.”

“That’s the biggest room you’re ever going to live in: your room for improvement!”

Groaning, head-shaking, and eye-rolling followed from everyone sitting at Lyra’s table with her. Except for Fluttershy, who grabbed a pencil and copied this onto a napkin.

“Yet... I sense desperation in you, Lyra,” Master Koan then said. “You do not seek improvement lightheartedly, there’s something you desperately need it for.”

So then I admitted: “Not too long ago, I got a letter from home, saying that a terrible accident had taken place, and my stallion was near death. Theres nothing I can do about it from here. I’m hoping I’m lucky enough, and that things will be fixed by the time I’m back home.”

“Funny how luck never seems to be around for the pony who counts on it most.” Master Koan said.

“I know,” I said. “That is just what made it so desperate. Some things have made me doubt my strength and so I worry for the future. I have two strong herdmates I dearly care for that regularly face horrors unimagined by your average pony. I wish to be able to help them when needed... but as strong as I am, I still found myself falling prey to such horrors’ machinations. A while back, Chrysalis, a changeling queen, brainwashed me, forcing me to guard her prisoners. If one of them hadn't been Twilight Sparkle, it'd be unlikely they'd have escaped, and Canterlot would have fallen. Now, if things are still bad at home... or if they’ve worsened, heaven forbid... I’ll need the inner strength to deal with it.”

Then Master Koan brought me to this place... he’d created an underground dojo for himself, digging it out with his magic. First we meditated... in a way I’ve never quite meditated before. Master Koan would shout out something like: “Whoever came up with the phrase ‘quiet as a mouse’ has probably never stepped on one. Reflect on this for five minutes.”

And for five minutes I — obedient student that I am — DID reflect on mice being crushed underhoof. Put great mental energy towards it!

Then Master Koan would say: “Many arguments have two sides, but no end. Reflect on this.”

And I would. Of course I was laughing... but the fascinating thing is, when you give a little one-liner like that some real deep thought, it really does take on all sorts of new dimensions! Then he’d challenge me to come up with something equally profound.

I remember one of them was: “the best nicknames tend to be the ones ponies don’t know they have.” And for five minutes we reflected on that. Remember what I said about keeping your mind limber? Master Koan was, well... a master at it. After meditations, we stretched, we sparred, and he taught me some new techniques. And to my surprise, I found that Master Koan is a more fearsome fighter than Master Hushpuppy was.

The next day, Master Koan woke me up, and the first thing he asked me was, “Did I tell you why it is that I came to Aardvark Island?”

“To meditate in solitude?” I guessed.

Master Koan grinned and said, “What fun is that? Follow me.”

And he let me to this clearing... where I saw these THINGS, all of them around the size of bulldogs. They weren’t just ugly, they weren’t just animalistic. They didn’t belong in this world at all.

I saw things that looked like giant kidneys with all-red-eyes and horns. Things that looked like surgically-removed tumors with jaws full of teeth, oozing along the ground. Things that resembled large, skinless mice that stalked about on their hind legs, snapping at everything. And do you know where all these creatures were coming from?

“Underground?” Rainbow Dash hazarded her guess.

Imagine the air, itself, was nothing more than a cloth backdrop on a stage. Now imagine somepony took a sword and slashed a large cut across the middle of the backdrop, and you could see the backstage straight through it. That’s what I saw. A gash in the air that served as an open window into another world.

“Another world?” Twilight breathed. All of them were paying deep attention.

Sadly, nothing that would be useful for finding where Lero came from, I don't think, Twilight. What I saw was this thick, red fog, pouring out continuously from the gash into our own world. But instead of rising into the sky like proper smoke or vapor, the red fog sunk downward into the soil, like water. When I squinted, I could almost make out something like structures in the far distance of that other world. And through the thickness of the fog, I could see eyes. All sorts of eyes, stared at me and Master Koan.

I asked Master Koan, “What IS that?”

“It’s a place where the barriers between worlds grow thin.' he answered. ‘A split in the fabric of the pants we call reality. I think science fiction fans would call it a 'Dimensional Rift'. And what you see on that other side is a netherworld. One of a thousand hells.”

We watched some of the tumor-creatures dribble over the side of the rift, and splat on the ground, then get back up, hissing and shrieking, with smoke coming off their bodies.

“Demons?” Twilight guessed.

It turned out that’s EXACTLY what they were, Twilight. Or at least, something so alike as to make no difference. Spirits of malice and cruelty, ensconced in wet and dripping flesh.

I’m not too proud to admit that I found them scary. But at first, I actually decided not to prejudge them and extend them the benefit of the doubt. So I called out to them from where I stood and said, “Greetings, from my world to yours! My name is Lyra Heartstrings! Welcome to Equestria! On behalf of all my people, we mean you no harm!”

They charged at me like a pack of starved jackals. The noises coming from their throats didn’t sound like any sort of language. The smell of their smoke coming off their bodies was absolutely vile, like rotting peppers set on a grill. For about two minutes, Master Koan just stood off to the side, watching me dodge their and try to be the bridge-building ambassador. Then he stepped in, crushing every one of them in a whirlwind of kicks and magic.

* * *

Rarity turned her nose up a little. “Well, you shouldn’t have even bothered trying to be nice. If it were me, watching something spilling out of another world that looked demonic and smelled and sounded demonic, I’d have attacked!”

“Except that our stallion came spilling from another world looking rather like a wild, filthy ape, wouldn’t you say?” Lyra reminded her.

Rarity stopped, stunned.

“And what’s more, from what I recall Lero saying, the beings who’d captured and hurt him... THEY’RE supposed to all physically resemble humans! Or at least, when they want to. So it’s worth taking an extra second to see who’s really who!”

As Rarity looked away, Twilight Sparkle said, “That’s actually a good line of logic! It reminds me of this book I read upon animal mimicry and...”

“Lero!” cried Rainbow Dash. “Dude, are you alright?!”

The ponies all turned their head towards the human. He’d been bringing his glass of ice water to his lips... and had frozen up, seemingly unaware that his drink was falling into his lap.

“I... I’m fine! I’m fine!” he insisted, quickly putting down the glass and grabbing a napkin.

Rainbow leaned herself against him, looking at him worriedly, until Lero had calmed.

“Lero... I’m so sorry...” said Lyra.

“Not your fault. Bad memories... sort of,” said the human, sweeping a last ice cube off himself. Brief moments of remembrance were all that he had of his time in the place-before-Equestria, moments he could never make sense of, except that they terrified him. He looked at Lyra. “Lyra... do you think that these demons of yours came from that world I escaped from?”

Lyra shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you remember seeing creatures like that, when you were there?”

“I don’t know!” Lero whispered, all the more unnerved. “If they’re trying to get into Equestria... they’ll be kidnapping others... they may even be after me!” The human’s voice became small and tiny, only Dash could really hear, looking over his back. “Not them, not them, don’t let it be THEM, not now, not ever...”

“We won’t let them take you!” The rainbow-maned pegasus set a comforting hoof on the back of the human’s still-jittering hand, looking up at him with the solicitude of a kindly caretaker. Dash’s voice was the softest and most Fluttershy-like he’d ever yet heard, but her voice held surprising conviction in it. “If... if some big meanie tried to steal you away to hurt you, I... I wouldn’t let them! I’d stop them!”

Lero smiled, his nervousness disappearing. “Dash, you’re awesome.”

“I’m not the LEAST bit awesome,” she said.

“The HELL you aren’t!” he barked, startling her quite a bit. “I'm not going to hear anyone talk bad about you, Dash, not even yourself! You may have forgotten how awesome you really are, but I NEVER WILL.”

Twilight eyes were wide and warning, frightened about where he was going with this.

“What’s there to remember?” Dash asked, confused and hesitant.

“Ladies, back me up on this!” Lero said, turning to the rest of them.

The others were all staring at him in confusion, as though he’d claimed that a gerbil had just built a stadium. Until Fluttershy piped up: “Twilight must’ve told you about the time you helped that manticore with the thorn in its paw, Dashie!”

Twilight nodded enthusiastically, catching on. “And remember when you stared down that cockatrice as it was turning you into stone? That saved my life, Dash! And the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ as well!”

“Or how about that time yew walked out on that modelin’ job with Photo Finish?” Applejack remembered. “Wasn’t what Ah’d’ve done, but that still took GUTS!”

"Or that time you stared down that dragon that just batted me away!" Rarity added.

All this seemed to be overwhelming Rainbow Dash. “I didn’t... that was all just...”

Lero placed a hand around Dash’s shoulder. “Dash, here’s something I absolutely guarantee: a day will come when you will fully remember just how much awesomeness you really have inside you. And when that day comes, you will be utterly unstoppable.”

Her amazed eyes studied his confident, smiling face, not seeing a speck of mockery. She turned towards the lavender mare. “Seriously, Twilight, where did you FIND this guy?”

“From another world,” Twilight Sparkle said, levitated her own glass of water for Lero to drink. “Speaking of which, I’ll be writing to Celestia the first chance I get about Aardvark Island. She’ll be able to send specialists to seal this dimensional rift.”

“Well, it’ll spoil Master Koan’s fun, but there’s no denying it’ll need to be done,” said Lyra.

“Anyway, Lyra... your story?” Dash prompted.

“Ah, yes,” Lyra said.

* * *

Anyway, Master Koan explained to me that these were just MINOR demons. This netherworld’s equivalent of rabid lynxes and polecats.

“On a danger scale of newborn Shih Tzu to Cerberus, these guys rank at ‘angry wiener dog.’” Was how Master Koan put it. “Their bodies are so weak, that they burn in direct sunlight. And moonlight!”

The demons’ bodies were always emitting smoke, every moment they were out in the open. You’d think they’d have the sense to seek shelter, or burrow underground, or even retreat back to their home world, but they just stayed into the open, eating ants, murdering aardvarks, and trying to murder us, and their bodies continued to sizzle until they burst completely into flame, alive or dead.

“Ah almost feel sorry for them,” said Applejack.

Well, they WERE vicious little monsters, all the same. But still, Master Koan spent a good eight hours just practicing his techniques on them, then throwing most of the bodies back into the dimensional rift. I followed his lead. Learned a few more techniques that way!

But at the end of that day, I asked Master Koan: Why go to all this trouble over small fry that, while malevolent, were weak and doomed to die on an empty island? The demons couldn’t even swim in the ocean water! Master Koan pointed into the dimension rift, at some of the other creatures who had been watching us in the mist, unmoving.

“Somewhere in there, lurking in the red mist, are more powerful demons who WILL be able to withstand the sunlight. Craven cowards, all of them, but still more powerful, all the same. You see how they’re watching me, Lyra. Watching US, now. And every day I fight these smaller spawn, I’m showing all the REAL baddies in there that a pony exists who’s willing to sit atop their rift and not let so much as a single runt of a demon gain a toehold in our world.”

Then he grinned and said, “Or to put in simpler terms, I’m teaching the demons to never play leapfrog with a unicorn!”

For four days, I stayed with Master Koan, fighting demons. We lived off the land, slept in the diner, and fought whatever spilled out of that rift. I might’ve stayed longer, but I was too anxious to return home, especially to see how Lero was doing. So I bid Master Koan farewell, swam back to the mainland, boarded a train, and began my long journey back home. And here I am.

* * *

Their waiter brought in their lunches. For Granny Smith, her eggplant parmesan. For Pinkie Pie, fried green tomatoes and collard greens with a side of baked cinnamon apples. For Lyra, vegetable stir-fry. For Lero, shrimp stir-fry. For Rainbow Dash, a kale and watercress salad. For Applejack, kelp quiche. For Rarity, a plate of steamed mussels and scalloped oysters over a rice pilaf. For Fluttershy, two slices of chocolate lava crunch cake. And for Twilight Sparkle, a bowl of hearty vegetable stew.

As they ate, the rest of the girls all made small talk with Lyra and one another. When their meals were starting to wind down, Twilight levitated her spoon to ding against her water glass, until she had all the others’ attention.

“Listen, girls,” she said, “As glad and surprised as we all are to see Lyra back... she’s not the reason I called you all out here.” And Twilight levitated the letters from Celestia from underneath her chair. “The thing is, Princess Celestia sent me these letters last night to pass out to the rest of you.”

“Is she sending us on another mission?” Fluttershy asked, as the purple unicorn passed the letters out to her other four friends.

“You’ll see,” Twilight promised.

So Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy all tore open the envelopes with their names on them, and read the letters within.

“From Her Royal Majesty, Celestia, Princess of Equestria, Regent Of The Sun, Eternal Protector of Our World...” read Fluttershy.

“...meritorious efforts ‘n’ courageous resolution in the face a’ overwhelmin’ odds which’ll no doubt continue ta inspire ponies fur generations ta come...” Applejack read.

“...recognition of your heroic endeavors on behalf of the Crown and all ponykind as the Bearer of the Element of Kindness...” Rainbow Dash murmured to herself.

“...A sum a’ no less than...!”

One by one, as they reached that part of the letter, each mare drew in an astonished gasp.

“She’s PAYING us now?!” exclaimed Rainbow Dash.

"Technically, it's not a payment, as this isn't a salary,” Twilight explained, “But rather a gift in recognition to the services provided to Equestria. The money’s tax-free as well."

“Oh my GOODNESS!” said Fluttershy, nearly flying out of her seat.

“Gals, we’re RICH!” Applejack grinned. “Ah’m outta the red! Hey, Twi? Rarity? Didn’t yew two get anythang?”

“We opened ours last night.”

“Send it BACK, Pinkie!” Granny Smith demanded, scowling coldly at the line of zeroes on Celestia’s letter. “We’re Apples, not a buncha no-account welfare wards!”

“Granny, no! Don’t ya see?” Pinkie pleaded. “Ah ain't one to accept somethin' Ah ain't earned but... with this kinda money, we’ll be able ta afford that special super-expensive operation fer Macky! He’ll be outta the hospital in a matter a’ days!”

“Really?! Didn’t thinka that! Well, Ah HAVE been frettin’ ta see may sweet lil’ grandson again...”

Lero felt like he could jump for joy. Mac was coming back! Sooner rather tha later! He and Pinkie both shared a grin across the table.

Rainbow Dash hugged him. “This is... this is wonderful! Lero, just think! I’ll be able to replace all the furniture the animals have been trashing!”

Applejack leaned forward. “Ah been meaning ta ask... just what’s UP with that, Dash? Why is it that yer critters turned on yew like that? Have yew not been feeding them or somethin’?”

Rainbow Dash gave a little jerk. “I... I feed them plenty! Tell her, Lero!”

“We do feed them!” Lero said.

The fashionista peered at her caretaker friend. “Do ponies even come ta ya asking fer help with their pets anymore?”

“Applejack!” Pinkie cried, in a reproachful tone.

“Ah’m just asking out of friendly concern!”

“Oh, like you’re one to judge!” Rarity said with a scowl. “I might ask well as you what’s up with all those dresses of yours?!”

“Ah’m... Ah’m explorin’ new directions!” Applejack said, shrinking backwards.

“Exploring new directions, is it?” The weathermare gave a disdainful sniff. “Looks to me like you’re lost in the woods! Every time I peek in your window, there’s never a customer to be seen!”

“That’s not fair!” Fluttershy protested. “I buy from her! I buy plenty from Applejack!”

“That’s because yer tryin’ ta look clownish.” Pinkie Pie reminded her.

“Well... I...” the baker stammered.

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Aw, fess up, Shy!”

The yellow pegasus wouldn’t meet any of their eyes. “Yew... yew buy mah dresses ta DELIBERATELY make yerself look sillier?!” Applejack cried.

“Well, at least they get people to laugh!”

Applejack scowled. “Unlike those so-called jokes a’ yers! Seriously, everypony says that they’re lame and dumb and irritating!”

“Leave Fluttershy alone!” snapped Rarity. “At least she still holds a job that puts bread on her table!”

Applejack tilted the brim of her cowgirl hat at a low angle. “Mah artistic muse is leading me through sum highly experimental territory! Ah woulda thought YEW of all ponies woulda understood, Rarity!”

“What do you mean?!”

“Oh, Ah can’t imagine, Miss Argyle-Patterned-Mini-Tornados! Mah designs might be ahead of their time... but at least MAH artwork’s not a serious health hazard! Ponies are gettin’ ta be downright SCARED a’ yew, Rarity!”

They all gave a jolt as two hooves slammed down hard on the tabletop. “None of you are losers! Not one!” Twilight Sparkle cried.

Silence fell over the table as they turned to face their tear-streaked friend, all with wide and conscience-stricken looks.

“You’re HEROES! All of you! You’ve saved the world countless times over! Nightmare Moon, Discord, King Sombra, those changelings at my brother’s wedding... don’t tell me you’ve forgotten them all!”

“No!” said Fluttershy.

“Of course not!” said Rainbow Dash.

They were drawing the attention of ponies sitting at neighboring tables and booths. Twilight didn’t care.

“From eternal night, from eternal chaos, from thwarting tyranny and invasion... you’ve BEEN there whenever our world has cried out for help! And when the next superpowered evil thing comes to threaten Equestria, you’ll be there too! That's why Celestia send these to us - because she remembers how much you've done! And if our neighbors are so quick to forget all you’ve done for them... because of some dresses they think are ugly, because of some weather they find scary, because of some jokes they don’t like, then SHAME ON THEM!”

Hiccoughing, she stared downward the tablecloth soaking up her tears. “I owe everything to you girls! The friendship you’ve given me... all the lessons you’ve taught me about how to be a friend! I’d be NOTHING without you girls! Every one of you is worth TEN of me! I love you all so much, and I’ll NEVER be ashamed of you! So... so hold your heads up high! I... I never felt prouder than when I was with the five of you!”

Completely overwhelmed, she fled, sobbing, to the bathroom. The rest of the table looked around at each other, guilt and sadness on all their faces. Applejack removed her hat. “Girls, Ah’m sorry, Ah’m the one ta blame fer startin’ this stupid, stupid squabble... right when Twi jest went ‘n‘ saved me from bankruptcy! Maybe a nag like me deserved ta have her muse go bonkers on ‘er.”

“Oh, Applejack, you mustn’t say that!” Rarity begged, patting her telekinetically.

As Rainbow Dash and Lyra both got up and entered the bathroom after Twilight, Fluttershy looked down at her letter from Celestia.

“You couldn’t have picked a better student, Your Majesty,” she said.

As the others all exchanged apologies, Lyra and Dash emerged with Twilight between them. She had a faint smile back on.

“Hi, girls. I’m better now. Sorry for ruining the mood.”

"Yew didn't ruin tha' mood." Pinkie replied. "We all did. Yew jus' snapped us out of it." All of them got out of their seats and swept her into a group hug, Lero included. Swap or no Swap, it felt glorious to Lero, knowing they still remained the most truehearted batch of friends ever to stand together. It made everything else so worthwhile.

“Twilight? I think I speak for all of us when I say that you’re the best friend of all,” Rainbow Dash said. “Our lives are so much more awesome with you in it.”

“We’ve been through worse, together. We’ll get through this, together.” Rarity agreed.

“Hey, girls? Everyone?”

They all looked at Lyra.

“Have we paid our bill yet? Because there’s something I’d like to show you all.”

* * *

“There! Right over there, Rarity!” Lyra pointed.

Rarity had conjured an extra-large cloud platform for her not just for herself and Lero, but for Twilight, Lyra, their two Earth pony friends, and Granny Smith. It was probably for the best that Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy instead chose to fly behind her, because the extra passengers were taking a strain on Rarity. Fortunately, Lyra seemed to know exactly where she wanted to go.

They landed in what looked to be a stark wasteland; a slightly hilly area comprised of rocks and arid grit. There was nobody else around but themselves; the land looked to have never been settled by any sapient being. Lero almost felt like he’d landed on the surface of Mars.

“I think we’re close to my old rock farming home!” Fluttershy announced to the others.

Rarity was panting and sweating off by the side as Lyra hopped off the cloud, looking around favorably at some of the skull-sized stone.

“Lyra... what’re we doin’ way out here in the boonies?” Pinkie asked. “Ain’t nothin’ here but rocks!”

“Exactly!” said Lyra. “Lots and lots of rocks!” Then she turned around towards everyone else. “I thought it might be fun to show off some of the Still Way fighting techniques I learned while I was traveling abroad.”

“Yer gunna put on sum kinda chow mien spinnin’ roundhouse kick show fer us?!” Granny Smith said.

“Something along those lines, Mrs. Smith!” said Lyra. “But I’m going to need Twilight’s help!”

They all looked towards Twilight; Lero with some anxiety.

In the days before the Swap, Lyra Heartstrings and Rainbow Dash had sparred against one another regularly... partially for fun, and partially to keep their skills honed. But Lero couldn’t remember a time when Twilight, herself, had participated in a bout. The purple unicorn had always seemed to be of the opinion that fighting was strictly reserved for foes. Indeed, Twilight approached Lyra with great reluctance.

“W... what do you want me to do, Lyra?” she asked.

“I’d like you to make opponents for me to fight,” she said, waving a hoof around at all the many, many rocks littering the landscape. “I remember you saying you learned how to make rock golems not long ago. Come on, let’s see one!”

Some amount of relief crossed Twilight’s face; thankfulness, perhaps, that she wasn’t being asked to engage in a one-on-one duel with her herd-sister. Her horn glowed. A purple aura formed around several large stones, which floated together into a pony form: a close-knit constellation of rocks, about Lyra’s size.

It trundled towards the Still Way master slowly, stiff and herky-jerky, like the earliest prototypes of real walking robots. A golden gleam of light shone from Lyra’s horn and around the stone pony’s legs, which all flipped ninety degrees to the left, shattering like fired clay. The golem went down like a wall of un-mortared bricks.

Twilight blinked at the loudness of her stone pony’s falling apart. All the rest of them settled themselves upon the base of a rocky hillside, to watch with growing eagerness. Rarity was kind enough to clear most of the stones away for everybody to sit. Rainbow Dash settled right up against Lero’s side.

Lero knew that if Lyra were the Rainbow Dash of old, this would be the part where she’d taunt Twilight with something like, “Is that the best you got, egghead?” Instead, Lyra Heartstrings told her, “Hey, Twilight, let me make you a deal. In the next twenty minutes, if you’re able to draw blood from me with your golems... just the TINIEST little nick... I will buy you thirty books of your own choosing.”

Celestia’s student drew in a rapt breath. Trepidation was leaving her, Lero could see. “Twenty minutes, you said?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“I’m in!”

With a slight smile, Lyra called out, “Hey, Fingers! Would you be our timekeeper?”

“Sure thing, Horny!” Lero rolled down his sleeve, exposing his wristwatch. “Fighters! Face your opponent!”

Both the unicorns’ heads dropped in a respectful bow.

“Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine... begin!”

Blocks of sandstone, coquina, and quartzite floated together into an Earth pony form. It charged toward Lyra, who regarded it with unruffled equilibrium. A moment before it raised a heavy stone arm to swing, her hoof lashed out. Four brief flicks of a hoof against the magical creation's torso and then her horn flared. The golem’s main body neatly cleaved in half, the arm crashing down not four inches from her side.

The next golem Twilight made had ‘body parts’ from the previous golem’s body.

“Lyra?” Twilight asked, while the Still Way grandmaster dodged at the last moment. “Is there a limit to how many golems I’m allowed to construct at once?”

“Not at all!” the aqua unicorn said, ending this newest golem with one sharp attack, its head shattering. “Send as many as you can make!”

Twilight’s next set of golems were three ogreish bipeds with gorilla arms. Lyra deftly sidestepped the monsters’ fists slamming into the ground. Her right forehoof planted in the ground and her left forehoof swung sideways, cracking against two of their shoulders at once. She lifted her rear hooves as well, letting that horizontal strike spin her neatly in place on one hoof, bringing both rear hooves into line with her nearest foe.

Her buck landed both hooves against the hard stone. As the golem staggered back, she took a running leap and landed atop the golem’s head, bringing both forehooves sharply down at the back of its neck, severing its crystal spine, and the golem crashed down.

“Come on, Twilight!” Rainbow Dash cheered beside Lero. “You can beat her!”

“You just have to nick her!” cried Fluttershy. “One little nick!”

“Think of all ‘em BOOKS yer gonna be able to read once ya win!” Applejack shouted.

On and on the duelists fought; over ten minutes had passed, and Twilight hadn’t landed a single blow; the grandmaster just danced and shattered through every golem she threw at her, with either a well-placed hoof or precise telekinetic burst. Nonetheless, Twilight’s friends were cheering her on, Lyra didn’t seem the least bit bothered that none of their cheers were for her. In fact, the grandmaster almost seemed to treat it as a bonus - her advantage was so clear she didn't need cheering.

“How much time do they have left?” Dash whispered to Lero.

He checked his watch. “Five minutes.”

“TIME OUT!” called a voice. “TIME OUT!”

The fighting ceased. The golems under Twilight’s control collapsed. All of them turned to watch as Rarity rushed over to stand by Twilight’s side.

“What do you say we make things interesting, grandmaster?” the white unicorn challenged. “Care to take on two golem crafters at once for the last five minutes?”

She wore the same sort of bold and feisty grin Rainbow Dash had always had just before they began a sparring match. Lyra froze up for a moment at seeing such a familiar expression on such a different face.

“Rarity,” Twilight said, “Maybe we should...”

“Fine!” It was a truly rare thing to see calm, meditative Lyra lose her cool like this, actually shuddering a little in anger. Or was that anticipation? It was hard for Lero to tell. Maybe both? “Go ahead! Two-on-one! I’m not afraid,” she finished with determination, regaining her calm.

Rarity’s cocky grin widened. “We begin on our stallion’s say-so! Lero, just say when!”

Lero brought out his watch again. “Fifty-eight, fifty-nine... TIME IN!”

The weathermare’s horn shone. Clouds formed in the cloudless sky. Not just any old clouds, either: these took on a definite PONY shapes.

Having been Rainbow Dash’s live-in boyfriend for as long as he had... Lero Michealides was very well-acquainted with the Wonderbolts. However... there was no pony on the Bolts’ roster that would go out in public with such devilishly sinister leers. Rarity had applied her cloud-coloration magic, as well: and these ponies’ full-bodied uniforms were a dark purple instead of the proper Wonderbolts’ blue.

Most notable of all, the three flying ponies all had unicorn horns jutting out from their heads. And Lero knew them to be the Shadowbolts of Nightmare Moon, as Rarity the Weathermare remembered them.

Except...

The one in the lead, as soon as the shaping as coloration were complete, rather than being the one Rarity had described to him, it was... her. The unmistakable purple, perfected coifed hair and white fur of her horn and face where it peeked out of the unform. However, there was two notable differences; one, she now sported wings; not the ethereal, fragile, but breathtakingly beautiful butterfly wings of the flight spell, but rather, solid, unnatural-looking batwings that nonetheless perfectlly merged with her form; and the cutie mark on her uniform, rather than an exact copy of Dash's rainbow-bolt cloud, the colored lightning now emerged from a menacing Unicorn skull.

Lero immediatelly grasped what it was: Rarity's envisioning of herself if she'd accepted the Shadowbolt's offer. The way her doppleganger and the Shadowbolts moved was remarkable. Their facial expressions and the movements of their bodies were uncannily lifelike, especially the beat of their wings. But because these golems were formed of cloud instead of flesh and blood... the Shadowbolts also had an unnerving, weightless ghostly quality to them.

Lyra Heartstrings was practically transfixed by the sight of the cloud colems, as they circled around her like vultures. Lero looked to the side at Rainbow Dash, and saw that the pegasus mare was even more fixated on the sight of the Shadowbolts.

“Dash?”

“Shadowy... Wonderbolts...” the pegasus whispered. “I dreamed of this, one night... they were talking to me... my friends were far away in the mist... they wanted me to do something... but these guys have horns on their heads... it’s not the same, it’s not LYRA, LOOK OUT!”

The Shadowbolts all lowered their horns towards Lyra and shot hail at her. She sprinted to one side to dodge it.

“They’re NOT ALICORNS, Lyra!” Lero called out, hoping that would help. “They’re winged unicorns! You can take ‘em!”

Rarity nudged Twilight’s side. “Twilight, come on! We’re double-teaming her! Don’t forget your own golems!”

Twilight shook her head, having been just as distracted as the others of the artistry - and menace - of Rarity's creations, and drew a hard breath, and then the rocks on the ground were rising to sweep at Lyra Heartstrings with their arms, to buck her with hooves of basalt, schist, and kaolinite.

As Lyra ducked, spun, and whirlwind-kicked through the opponents, Twilight turned a worried look at her white-coated herdmate. “Rarity, we’re taking it too far!” The rock golems‘ attacks weakened as she whispered these words. “I think we’re really going to hurt her at this rate!”

“Ssh, don’t worry, my sweet kitten,” Rarity whispered back. “I’m taking it very easy on our precious songbird... believe me! It’s all just part of the show!”

Meanwhile, Lyra was ripping apart pieces of the rock golem to throw at the Shadowbolts. Though her aim was spot-on, the stones passed straight through the cloud golems’ bodies, disrupting their forms briefly, but they reformed again almost immediately.

Even though Twilight wasn’t looking at her, Rarity could see she still had qualms. “I’ll end this with the very next blow,” she promised, refocusing her magic back on her cloud golems.

The Shadowbolts all flew towards Lyra Heartstrings at once, hooves outstretched to slam into her face. The lead duplicate of Rarity aimed dead center at her. The aqua unicorn’s eyes flicked around at the mass of rock golems all around her.

“You’re not real,” she told the Shadowbolts. “You’re just cloud. You’ll pass right through me. Your blow will have no force.” She seemed absolutelly confident, but Lero — and he suspected Twilight and perhaps Rarity — knew her well enough to see the undertone of uneasiness, as she stood in a defensive pose against them.

And indeed, almost all of the cloud golems DID pass right through Lyra Heartstrings as easily as colored mist. Yet SOMETHING sliced a thin little cut across her right cheek, as Shadowbolt Rarity 'struck' her.

“Alright, stop!” Rarity called, and her Shadowbolts vanished in a spurt of magic. “The fight’s over! We won!”

Gratefully, Twilight Sparkle let her rock golems fall to pieces, as Lyra touched the dripping cut on her cheek in disbelief.

“How much time did Lyra have left?” Rainbow Dash asked Lero.

“One minute, nine seconds,” said Lero.

As everyone cheered a fight well fought (waking Granny Smith, who’d fallen asleep halfway through the fight), Twilight and Rarity approached Lyra.

“How did you cut me?” Lyra asked.

Rarity levitated up a thin, small length of ice. It was as small and sharp as a shaving razor’s blade, and already beginning to melt.

“I hid this inside the ‘arm’ of a cloud golem, and kept it in place with wind magic!” Rarity explained.

“Are you okay?” the lavender unicorn asked.

True calmness washed over the Still Way grandmaster. “Of course I am,” Lyra told her. “Do you think I’d let myself turn upset over a small scratch like this?”

As Twilight nuzzled against her in relief, Rarity closed the cut with her healing magic, kissing the spot where it had been.

* * *

It was time for everyone to go home. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were able to fly their way back on their own, so Rarity humbly volunteered to taxi the rest of them to their houses. All throughout, the others were abuzz with excitement.

“Yew were AMAZING, darlin’!” Applejack told Lyra. “Ah know Ah wouldn’t wanna cross YEW in a dark alley! Heck, not even a well-lit one! And Ah’ll be sure ta look out for ya when that movie comes out!”

“Thank you, Applejack!” said Lyra.

“Hey, Twilight, Rarity... big thanks to ya’ll fer everythang: the meal, the show, and the money! We’ll be able ta fix Big Mac up with these bits, lickety-split!” Pinkie Pie said, with a friendly thump on Twilight’s back. “And Ah’m glad Lyra’s home too!”

“Well, thanks, Pinkie, but the money came from Celestia,” Twilight said.

“Ah, yeah! Ah thank Ah’ll be writin’ Her Majesty a big thank-yew letter when Ah get home, then!”

“Say, Rarity,” Applejack then said, “Ah had no idea yew could make evil Wonderbolts outta clouds like that!”

“I didn’t either!” Rarity admitted. “But I just watched how Twilight crafted HER golems, and from there, I was able to figure out what I needed to do!” She whipped her hair back showily, very pleased with herself. “I’ve really outdone myself today as a weather artist!”

“How does that work?” Granny Smith asked. “Ta me, it just looks like yew unicorns jest point yer horns wherever, make ‘em glow, and whatever ya wanna have happen, happens!”

“It’s not... it’s not LIKE that, Granny!” Twilight protested. “It’s... well, it’s like...”

“Let me try explaining,” Lyra offered from her spot on the cloud platform. “All of you who can’t cast magic, turn to me.”

They all did. Twilight watched in interest, while Rarity, who was piloting the cloud platform, could only listen to what they were saying so she could focus on flying.

“Now, I’m going to whistle a short tune, and I want you all to whistle the same tune back at me. But first, I want you sent your hooves firmly against your ears so that you can’t hear a thing.”

“But how are we supposed to do THAT?!” Lero asked, speaking for them all.

“Lip reading,” Lyra shrugged. “Now, hooves on ears!”

They all did, Lyra included. Lero peered at the aqua unicorn as her lips puckered, discovering he was woefully pathetic at reading lips.

“Hooves off!” she said, while bringing down her own. “Now, whistle what I just whistled.”

Applejack and Granny Smith didn’t even try. Lero, Three completely different tunes from Pinkie Pie, Lero, and even Twilight floated through the air.

“Alright!” said Lyra. “Now, let’s try again, only this time, everypony swivel their ears towards me!”

And this time, everyone floating about Rarity’s cloud platform could clearly hear the proper notes: C#, C, D#, D. So they were able to whistle the tune back at her: C#, C, D#, D.

Lyra smiled. “So if your ears aren’t working and you watch somepony whistle, it looks like she’s making fish lips at you, and you have no idea what she’s really doing. In the same way, if you can’t cast horn magic yourself, and you watch it being cast with your eyes alone, all you see is glowing. But when a unicorn observes another unicorn casting magic... she has a stronger awareness of how the other unicorn’s manipulating the world around her... and can therefore potentially learn from it. Does that make sense?”

“Y... yes.” said Lero. The others seemed to be also to also understand.

“Well put!” said Twilight.

Later on, after bringing Applejack back to the Boutique and Granny Smith and Pinkie Pie to Sweet Apple Acres, the four herdmates landed back at Golden Oaks Library.

“Well, home sweet home!” said Rarity; the cloud platform dissipating when she bucked it. “Bet it’s going to feel nice, being in your old bed with the rest of us, hmm, Lyra?”

But Lyra backed away from the door with a tense smile. “Actually, Rarity, if you don’t mind... That sparring session was a lot more intense than I was expecting, thanks to you. Those cloud golems caught me off guard." She smiled softly, letting the earlier tension ease out, the expression becoming more genuine. "If you don't mind, I'd like to go meditating with Lero to help re-center myself. Besides, it's been a long while since he and I got to do so together.” She glanced over at him. "If you don't mind, of course."

“Um... sure!” said Lero.

“You and Twilight don't have to tag along — I know how boring my meditation can sometimes get. We won’t be long.”

“Okay,” said Rarity, looking slightly confused. “If that’s what you want, Lyra. We'll be here when you get back.”

* * *

A light breeze whisked across the fields of long grass. A faraway magpie sang.

“I remember being on one of the trains. I wasn’t anywhere near Ponyville, yet, but I was homeward bound,” Lyra told Lero, as they both strode through the grass, tall enough to brush Lyra’s chin. It crunched beneath their legs.

“There was this elderly stallion sitting next to me,” Lyra continued. “No one I knew. Just a stranger on a train.”

The tall grass carpeted the the hilltops which the unicorn and human ambled across. The scent of decomposing leaves hung in the air. The whole of the landscape instilled a sense of relaxation and quiet. Almost ironic, considering how close it lay to the Everfree Forest.

“We got to talking about each other’s family. He told me he was a grandfather and he lived in Mustangia. In turn, I told him about what kind of herd I lived with.”

They spotted the gentle brook they were looking for, with all the many trees that flanked it, weaving a watery line to the place they wanted to go.

“I told him that I lived with a being called a ‘human,‘ who wasn’t remotely equine. I described how you stood on two legs, had a somewhat monkeyish form, and how you’d come from another world,” Lyra said. “I talked about my unicorn herd-sister, who’d hatched a dragon’s egg, and how the baby dragon now lived with us as an adopted younger brother. Finally, I told him my last herdmate was a pegasus.”

Lero listened in silence as they trailed alongside the river, into a thicket, rich with cedars, rowans, and magnolias. Lyra spared a second to gaze at Lero’s clothed legs, lifting one foot in front of the other. Somehow, the way his body were built to walk never quite failed to fascinate her.

“And then the grandfather said and I quote: ‘You don't seem the pegasus type, young lady. Why, I’ll bet that last herdmate of yours is actually another unicorn! Am I right?’ I had to look at him to see if he was teasing me, but I'd never seen a more earnest face.”

They stopped at a glade where the sunlight shone haphazardly through gaps in the leafy canopy overheard. They brook that had led them here ended in a small waterfall, pouring into a shallow pool.

“He was willing to accept that one of my lovers was a biped from another dimension, and that my other lover was a unicorn with mythical levels of magical power, and that we had adopted a dragon into our family... all without question. But somehow, me with a pegasus was past the bounds of believability.” Lyra looked up at Lero. “That’s when I knew beyond ALL doubt all this business about the Swap and Bewitchment really WAS real.”

The both of them sat.

“It really does take a while to sink in,” Lero told her, drawing his hands out from his pockets. “I’ll tell you something, Lyra, there’s this part of me that would still love to believe that this is all some elaborate put-up job... like a surprise birthday party, you know? Everyone’s in on the gag except the birthday boy. And the five of them have all painted new marks on themselves, and are acting like each other just to wind us up, and they’ve gotten everyone in town to play along... and eventually they’ll all yell ‘surprise!’ And have a good laugh at how gullible we all were.”

“Well, I got a good look at those new marks for myself, Fingers,” Lyra said, with a shiver. “It’s no makeup job. No illusion spell. And the way Rarity kissed me... and the way she kissed YOU... and not a peep from Rainbow Dash...”

They were in a special place Lyra had stumbled upon, one day. A beautiful glen, strangely unvisited by birds or insects. The patch of bare earth in particular was one of Lyra’s favorite spots to meditate.

“Well, I’ll tell you one thing,” Lero said, stroking Lyra’s withers. “You’re adapting a LOT better than I first did. Like a fish in water.” He let out a slight laugh. “Looking back, I’m actually LUCKY that spider paralyzed me and made me unable to talk. Otherwise, I’d have ruined everything the moment Rarity caught up with me. Either gotten myself shut in the loony bin, or broken her heart. Probably both.”

“You really think I handled myself well with them?” asked Lyra, trying to reach for the peace she'd sought all trip long.

“Oh yeah,” said Lero, toying with a blade of grass, rolling it into a ball between his fingertips.

“Because I was scared inside,” said Lyra. “And sad, all throughout.”

And she showed it fully and openly on her face. Lero knew enough of Still Way philosophy to know that for a Grandmaster, control was everything; they didn't promote repressing your emotions, but rather controlled expression — through meditation, battle, art — or sharing their feelings with trusted friends. Lero honestly felt touched at how easily she shared this part of herself with him. He stroked her back soothingly until she had calmed down some.

“Hey, Fingers?” she asked. “You’re pretty experienced dealing with the Swapped, right? Mind giving me a crash course? Just... tell me everything you wish you could’ve gone back in time and told yourself, at the very beginning of it all.”

Lero looked around. As far as he knew, the only other ones who knew of this location were Twilight and Rainbow Dash. At least, before the Swap. Meaning that Rarity was the one who knew about this place now. Therefore, there was a chance that Rarity could find them at this place, right in the middle of discussing the Swapped. But seeing the desperation in Lyra’s eyes, it was a risk he was willing to take.

Still, he spoke in a quiet voice, and Lyra followed suit.

“The first thing is to always be mindful of who’s now who,” Lero started. “It'll never be as simple as simply looking at their cutie marks. They're still themselves... and yet not. But cutie marks are always a good place to start. Diamonds? Treat her like a Fashionista. Butterflies? The Animal Caretaker. Apples? The Farmer. But always be ready for them to surprise you; they're all still a bit of their old selves. As you’ve seen, Rarity's still classy — just also aggressive and uninhibited, like Dash. Dash is now timid and shy, but she still likes to fly.”

Already, Lyra was beginning to calm, just listening and watching him.

“Second: when it comes to the way the Swapped remember the past, NEVER CONTRADICT THEM,” he told her. “And never do anything to disprove them, either. Just smile and nod, no matter how silly it is.”

“Yeah,” said Lyra. “I remember reading about what happened to you when you brought Dash’s old stuff to her, and what Discord warned you about.”

“Good,” said Lero, silently thanking Discord for the second chance he’d given him with Dash. “Go ahead and pump them for information about their ‘past,’ if you like, but always ask it in a plausible way. A good strategy is this: if your question is about something ‘you should already know,’ coordinate with one of the rest of us on the exemption list to ask the question for you. Spike's been brilliant at it so far. It’s best to be on the same page with the Swapped. They’re all enthusiastic storytellers! But always agree, always play along, always treat it as real history to their faces.”

A thin breeze played with Lyra’s mane as she nodded emphatically.

“A wise human once said: ‘all the world’s a stage, and we are but players.’” He gave a theatrical little flourish with his hand. “Never has that been more true than now, with the Swap. The whole rest of the world’s been bewitched into accepting this fantasy as fact. They’re all playing their parts and the production won’t end anytime soon. So play along, ALWAYS be ready to improvise, and DON’T damage the fourth wall. Because that wall will crush you with a vengeance.” The human snickered wryly, looking up towards the canopied sky. “You almost have to think of it as being THEIR world, not yours.”

“A parallel universe that isn’t,” said Lyra.

Lero grinned. “Well put, grasshopper. Twilight found the idea plausible enough that she suspected that was the case for a while.”

The aqua unicorn levitated some water from the brook to drink. “Alright,” she said, “These swapped memories actually sound pretty easy to deal with. When you get right down to it, won’t it pretty much all boil down to Rarity taking credit for every single thing Rainbow ever did... and so forth with the rest?”

“For the most part, yes,” Lero told her. “But you’ve still got to be prepared for them to tell you ANYTHING.”

She raised a surprised eyebrow. “Anything?”

“Anything. Rarity has quite a few ‘memories’ of things that never happened to Rainbow Dash. Events sometimes play out differently in their memories due to certain things being physically impossible because they're the wrong species, or else elements of their true personality force 'rewrites to the script,' so to speak. Rarity is straight, and remembers dating a lot before meeting me... which is the complete opposite of how it went for Dash. And since you're both unicorns.... who knows? Maybe Rarity will remember competing against you in a fireball-shooting contest last June!”

The sound of Lyra’s scoff was such a funny noise!

“You laugh, but it’s true!” Lero told her. “Rarity’s story of how she fell in love with me is very different from how it went with Dash.”

Discussing Rarity in love was making Lyra grow tense. He put a reassuring hand on her back. “Third... don’t be scared by the Swapped Five. Don’t think of them as ‘the enemy.‘ In the end, they’re victims. Magically compelled to be obsessive about their ‘special talents,’ and to self-sabotage their new lives. Never forget that all of them are still our friends.”

“Friends, yes,” she echoed, in an unconvinced voice. “How should I deal with Rarity?”

“How were you planning on dealing with her?” Lero asked.

She swallowed. “I was... intending to treat her as family. Like Twilight is.”

Lero smiled supportively. “That seems to be the best option. Take it from me. This version of Rarity is extremely warmhearted and loving. Think Rarity's romantic outlook spliced with Dash's enthusiasm. She grows on you after a while. Not that her old self was an ice queen, or anything...”

She fell quiet. For a while, Lero just listened with her to the babbling of the brook. “Was there anything else you wanted to talk about, Lyra? I can’t think of any more advice right now.”

“Lero? Will you make love to me?”

Lero was startled by how plaintive her request was. The Still Way grandmaster looked so nervous and vulnerable, it surprised him, leaving him unable to reply for a moment, as she took a deep and shaky breath.

"I need this.” She came in front of him and kissed his cheek. “It’s been so long.” She kissed his other cheek. “Soon, we'll be plunged headlong into madness — friendly madness or no — where we’ll always have to be mindful of how things ‘have always been.'" She kissed him on his lips. "I can do it, I can adjust, immerse myself fully in it. Embrace Rarity with open arms." She kissed him even deeper. "But... I need this. One last moment as if everything was normal, and I don't have to think about the Swap. One last moment... just you and me, Lero, in each other’s arms. And then I’ll be ready.”

She was right. It had been so long. Lero hadn't allowed himself this pleasure since before the Swap, when he’d still had Rainbow Dash in his herd. Doing it now, even with Twilight, brought up up too many issues with Rarity. While he accepted her, actually passing the line of being with her still made him hesitate... another kiss from Lyra, long and deep brought him to the present, and more pressing issue - and the realization that it had been even longer since he’d last been with Lyra.

He found his voice. "Of course, Lyra." He strokes his hand through her mane. "Of course I will."

They started off softly, lips meeting repeatedly: small, supple morsels of love, eager to share with each other. His fingers slide down from her mane, and ran along the sides of her body, sweeping through her glossy coat, feeling the slender curves of her muscles underneath, learning the subtle differences from before her training. Such a fine, toned body. As trim as Rainbow Dash. Did she have an ounce of fat to her anymore?

Their kissing intensified, their lips interlocking for much longer stretches of time, deep and passionate. He kicked off his shoes, combing his fingers through her mane again, grazing along the sides of her flattening ears. She responded in kind; shifting her head aside, her tongue slid along the creases and curves of his right ear, and Lero felt the first trickle of sweat on his body.

Lyra’s horn shone, and Lero experienced the always-peculiar sensation of every button on his shirt unbuttoning itself at once. He lifted his arms in the air, while still in mid-kiss with Lyra, and felt his shirt be lifted off. Surprisingly, it floated in Lyra’s direction; she brought it to her face, breathing it in like a rose, before pressing her snout against Lero’s chest, shutting her eyes and inhaling the scent of that, running her tongue along the dark, wiry hair of his chest.

It always astonished Lero just how alluring his girls found the smell of his sweat. They'd even compared it to fancy cologne. He supposed it was only natural, as he found their natural scent pleasant, in general. But right now, he especially appreciated the musky, heated fragrance Lyra was giving off at this moment.

The human’s arms encircled the aqua unicorn, drawing her in closer, relishing the sensation of his skin pressing against her silken coat. He felt her magic brush aside a swatch of his hair as her left foreleg wrapped around his neck. His fingers swirling through her mane, stroking and massaging the scalp and neck underneath, but mostly, enjoying its long, silken length. She’d allowed it to grow quite long. Perhaps she hadn’t had it trimmed even once through her entire sabbatical. It was so gorgeous at this length.

“Mmm... I missed this...” she breathed. "Lero, I can’t even count how often I’d be all alone in my train compartment or my ship cabin, deep in the dead of night... and I’d rub my hoof everywhere under my dock, and think of you... pretend it was you..." Then Lyra gave a sort of halfway-laugh. "But a hoof isn't nearly satisfying enough... even for a filly who doesn't know any better. It's impossible to keep a steady touch on yourself with magic when you're getting worked up. And after you taught me what you're capable of, nothing else will ever do." Lero laughed and bent to kiss her again.

As their tongues found each other, Lyra bent the wrist of her right foreleg and stroked her human’s growing bulge with her trimmed fetlock, even as it was still trapped in those pants, even as her magic unzipped its zipper, and tugged down the... ah! There it was, free at last, rising to attention.

Both their hearts galloped in their chests as a delightful friction built between them. The soft, steady massage of Lyra’s wrist, coupled with a deft and precise touch of her trained telekinesis, helped encourage that part of Lero to perk up the rest of the way. Quivering in bliss, the human’s stiffness twitched, and Lero gave an instinctive roll of his hips. Lyra did not move to spear herself upon Lero, though she did rock herself back and forth against him, rubbing her soft fur against him while she magicked the pants the rest of the way off.

Lero fell backward when the waistband of his pants caught his foot, and the two of them rolled, clinging to each other, over the barren earth, onto the grass, until they splashed into the waters of the brook. For a moment, Lyra’s lips left Lero’s to laugh hysterically, a string of saliva still linking the both of them together. Lero made to get out of the shallow stream of water, but Lyra twisted around, repositioning herself above him with her tail in his face.

The sight of her eager sex winking in his face stopped him short. His breath quickened and grew heavier as her tail whipped back and forth invitingly, teasingly. She stepped forward a pace and lowered herself... mistakenly missing the mark in the flow of the water, so that his stiffness poked up from between the fine strands of her tail.

Both of them laughed. Lero moved to put his hands on her croup to help guide her, but before he could touch her, she tried again; this time, the head of his stiffness bumped against her clitoris, and she arched her back, letting out a long feminine moan. Grinning, he got a firm grip on himself and rubbed the two together. She seemed to enjoy that. He definitely did.

On her third effort, he entered her. Lyra threw back her head while clenching down on him, her sweet depths taking him all the way to the base. He bucked up eagerly into her; she ground back against him with a climbing whine. As tightly as she was gripping him, the end of his stiffness poked a slick wall within her again and again, and she cried out in greater and greater delight.

Lero saw the faint glow starting to form around her horn, and reached out to trace circles around her horn with his fingertips. Each jolt of exhilaration added to the rush of ecstasy, as he just held onto her haunches and thrust with ever-building vigor, until she clamped down with all her strength.

Sparks shot from her horn; smaller, less violent ones than Twilight's eruptions, but more delicate. Her nectar flowed down his shaft as Lero’s seed spattered her inner depths. As the climax ebbed away, Lyra actually took a breath and lay down flat against the shallow riverbed, her whole body sinking beneath the surface of the stream, lost in the glorious daze, letting the cool water ease her down. He stroked her velvety pelt, even as it billowed underwater.

Her head broke the surface. “That was... that was...” she gasped, turning a loving look back at her human. “Just like old times.”

Lero grinned at her. “Like the first time. After that you started showing me things Twilight doesn't know a horn can do. Ready for Round Two?”

“I’m ready for Round Seven,” Lyra told him. Then grinned. "But in the meantime, you've got fingerwork to do... and I may not have participated in all the fooling around on that movie set, but I learned a few new tricks by accident, anyhow."

And so Lero made love to Lyra, again and again. He tried not to think about what would come next, about Lyra joining in the masquerade of the Swap. Even if their true identities were intact, the Swap had altered them all the same.

Spike's jealousy.

Twilight Sparkle's guilt.

And Lero himself... the Swap had motivated him to find strength he hadn't known he had.

Both he and Lyra were fighters. They’d stand loyal and true for their herd in the face of this madness to the bitter end... ‘til they all died of old age, if need be. And yet, they relished this one last chance to forget all the rest of them and escape into each other. Before Lyra fully plunged into this chaos as well... and was changed forever. Just like himself.

* * *

The moon was out, as they both neared the house, some hours later.

“One more question,” Lyra asked quietly. “I have all those letters you mailed me hidden behind a dresser in your old house. Where are we hiding all the stuff like that?”

“Well, we had this special place in the basement, but a few days ago Spike came up with an even better idea. You know about his postal fire, right? Well, we wrote to Princess Celestia, and here’s the system we came up with: if we have something we don’t want Rarity seeing, Spike flame-mails it straight to Princess Celestia with the word 'Swap' posted on it, and she shuts it away in this special royal vault of hers. If we should happen to need it back, we send a regular letter asking for it.”

Lyra nodded. “Good. I’ll give the letters to Spike.”

It was Spike who answered the door when Lero knocked. “Lyra!” He opened his arms, and ran to hug her.

“Spike! Oh, it’s so good to see you, little brother!” she said, smiling as he squeezed her legs.

“Rarity’s been telling me all sorts of things about you!” Spike said. Is it true that you’ve been in a movie?! And fought with demons? And... and is that jet?”

She’d levitated her bag in front of his face. The young dragon reached in and pulled out a nugget of the supremely black gem.

“All yours! Dug it out, myself, from Aardvark Island! Dig in!” Lyra invited.

And so Spike ate it. “How’s it taste?” Lero asked.

“Kind of... like a weird hybrid of onyx and obsidian!” he said through a stuffed mouth, rolling the mineraloid in his cheeks.

“Is that good?” asked Lero.

“Oh, yeah!” said Spike, reaching in for another lump of jet. “Tastes excellent!”

His heavy crunching drew the attention of the other two unicorns in the house.

“Well, well, WELL! Where have YOU two been all this time?” If Rarity had had human arms, she’d have planted them on her hips in irritation. "A bit long for meditating, hmmm?" Rarity came up to Lyra and Lero, looking ready to reproach them, but then she stopped, nostrils working rapidly. She drew a little closer. Lero had a horrible certainty he knew what she was smelling off them, and so did Lyra, by the look of things.

The white unicorn gave them both a salacious sort of smile. “Oh, I see.”

“See what?” asked Lyra.

Twilight’s eyes flicked to Spike, who was listening in. “Spike? Why don’t you go eat those up in your bedroom?”

The little dragon took one look at the smile Rarity was sporting at Lero and Lyra and scampered upstairs.

“I see you’re wearing each other’s perfume,” said Rarity, once the dragon had shut his door. “I can tell you both did your best to wash it off, but I can still smell it.”

“What perfume?” asked Lero.

She circled around the two of them “You, my prince, are wearing what the Prench would call Eau de Oiseau Chanteur... and on you, Lyra, I smell Eau de Homme.”

Lero did not know either Prench or French, (which he was almost completely certain were analogues of each other,) but he had a very strong sense of what the weathermare was implying. Especially since Lyra, who did know Prench, went rigid at Rarity’s words.

...And they really HAD scrubbed themselves down hard in that brook!

“You went off by yourselves and didn’t even invite me to ‘meditate’ with you? Or Twilight? Hmm?”

Rarity’s tone was that of a friendly tease, her annoyance at being left at home without them for so long, so shortly after Lyra's return, vanishing in favor of teasing them about their indiscretion. But through the whole time she’d been talking, Lyra’s expression was serious, staring at the Rainbow Mark on Rarity’s flank, with a trembling lip. Finally, her lip quit trembling, and she met Rarity eye-to-eye.

“You’re right,” she told the white unicorn. “It was selfish of me to exclude you, Rarity. I’m truly sorry.”

To this, Rarity laughed. “Oh, Lyra, you sound so serious!”

“I am,” she told her humbly. “The truth is... Rarity, you’ve been on my mind constantly while I was on that trip. You and Lero both. Ever since I heard back from Twilight about that accident in the Bramblewood Forest.”

That took the wind out of Rarity’s sails. She turned around, facing away from all her herdmates . “I... I feel like I can never stop apologizing for what I did back there.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Rarity,” Lyra told her, coming up from behind.

“You’re too kind, Lyra, but...”

Lyra came over to look the white unicorn square in the eye. “Rarity, it WAS NOT your fault. What happened in Bramblewood was an ACCIDENT. When Lero was in trouble... you were the one there for him! You saved him! AND you survived! I mean, I heard that that spider nearly got the best of you at one point! I don’t know how we all would’ve lived with the grief if you had died there, so I’m just so glad to come home and still have four herdmates living in this house with me!” Then Lyra hugged Rarity around the neck. “And that letter you sent me was just so very heartfelt. I can’t even count the number of times I reread it!”

Lyra released the hug, taking in an emboldening breath. “So I’m sorry for keeping you all waiting. It really is good to be home! So if you’re ready, Rarity, I’d be happy to go up to go up to the bedroom with you and...”

“Actually, Lyra-my-love... would you believe I’m not in the mood right now?” The slightly downcast look in Rarity’s face was humbled and shy. "Despite your kind words — which I thank you dearly for — remembering that time doesn't exactly make me feel... enthusiastic." She looked back up at Lyra, her smile widening. “Although... one thing that’d make my night is... would you mind playing your clàrsach for me for a little while?”

Lyra stared in surprise between Dash’s old cutie mark and Rarity. “You want to hear my clàrsach?”

Twilight Sparkle and Lero shared a look, for they could understand Lyra’s confusion. Bach before the Swap, Rainbow Dash had loved Lyra well enough, but her harp had just never been her favorite cup of tea, nor Lyra’s penchant for soothing music. To the extent that Dash HAD a favorite musical instrument, it would’ve been the rock guitar.

“Oh, yes!” said Rarity. “I can only begin to imagine what sort of exotic melodies this journey of yours has inspired, and I’d love to hear them! If you’d like, I’d be happy to brew us all up a kettle of rooibos while we listen!”

“Rooibos?” Lyra repeated. While she remembered Lero's warning to expect a bit of Rarity's old personality to show itself, associating such a mellow activity as tea-drinking with Rainbow Dash was... a bit much.

She looked like she was about to say more, but before she could, there came a rapid, feverish hammering on the front door that just kept going. The type that suggested that starving wolves would soon be pouncing upon the knocker and savaging them.

Twilight Sparkle answered the door. “Rainbow Dash! You look...!”

The hyperventilating pegasus brushed right past her friend, eyes darting about wildly, until they fell upon Lero. Her front hooves rubbed against each other with a scraping sound, like Twilight’s rock golems. Small patches of her fur had gone missing, and there was the oddest smell on her body, foul and acrid, as if someone had eaten several pounds of lemons, then had gotten violently ill.

“Heeeeeeeeeey, Lero!” Her voice was cracked and jagged. She smiled the wide, unnatural smile of a girl whose only chance of being rescued from the burning building she was trapped in was pretending nothing was wrong. “Olllllllld buddy! Olllllllld pal! Bestest animal care friend evvvvvvvvver!”

“What’s wrong, Dash?” he cried. The wild juxtaposition of her appearance and words made a flurry of dire possibilities race through his mind. “What’s the matter?!”

The rainbow-maned pegasus was in his face so fast that he failed to track her movement. The whites of her eyes were clearly visible, showing a spiderweb of red veins. He could feel her sanity tumbling from them.

“Help me!” Rainbow Dash begged.

Author's Note

Big thanks to Rikmach, for his editing... but also for commissioning that amazing picture of Swapped Shadowbolt Rarity!

Also, SpinelStride, for helping me brainstorm ideas for Hushpuppy and Profound Koan.

You guys... just you WAIT for Chapter 18!

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