On the thirty-second day after a certain spell had swapped the cutie marks of five ponies, Lero Michaelides awoke, surprised to find himself alone in bed.

“Rarity?” he called. “Twilight? Lyra?”

No answer.

He yawned and glanced at the wall clock: it was already after ten! By this time, Rarity was probably out doing her weather work, while Twilight was probably with Lyra at her special place in the forest. The girls must all have decided to let him sleep in.

Lero sat up and stretched, slowly letting himself wake up, and with a deep breath the mixed scents of his mares filled his senses, and the memories of yesterday – and last night – began to fill his thoughts. He savored that one floral scent that hadn’t been there a month ago — that mixture of lilac and lavender. Instead of the dread he’d used to associate with it, the smell made him feel content and happy; happier than he’d been in what felt like forever. It wasn’t a replacement for the scent that had been lost, but definitely now a welcome addition. He breathed in the fragrance again before finally pushing himself up to stand and start the day, as late as it was.

After showering, grooming, and dressing himself, Lero decided that rather than join Lyra and Twilight for their exercising, meditation, and discussion, it was time to begin seriously focusing on helping the last two swapped ponies whose lives still lacked equilibrium. But it was difficult for him to settle on which one to go for first.

Applejack or Fluttershy? He asked himself, while descending the stairs.

Fluttershy or Applejack? He pondered, while entering the kitchen.

Spike stood atop a chair in front of the sink, busily washing yesterday’s dishes. With all that had gone down the previous day, no one had given a thought to cleaning.

“Morning, Spike,” he said, striding past the little guy towards the fridge.

CLUNK.

Lero flinched at the loud noise. He turned around. With unnecessary loudness, Spike had dropped the newly washed-and-dried saucepan down on the countertop. Lero recalled using that saucepan while cooking salmon en croute for Rarity last night.

Disregarding it as an accident, Lero opened the fridge, considering his options. Hmm. There was still a lot of early anniversary cake left over from last night! Certainly wasn’t balanced-breakfast material, to be sure... but, oh what the heck! It was closer to noon than not, right? And what was wrong with a little self-indulgence every now and again? Especially today. So he brought out the cake plus the jug of apple juice... just to be a LITTLE on the healthy side! And soon enough, Lero was enjoying a very sweet meal indeed.

“Fluttershy or Applejack? Applejack or Fluttershy?” he asked himself out loud this time, tapping his fork against his chin. “Three mares under my belt, two left. Which lucky lady shall I tackle next?”

THUNK!

Lero looked over, baffled: This time, it was the popcorn bowl he’d brought upstairs when he and the girls had been watching that Pony Chicks movie. This was increasingly unlikely to be an accident.

“Hey, Spike,” the human commented dryly, “Is there a reason you have to be so noisy about washing dishes?”

Spike stopped and stood very still. He didn’t turn away from the sink. He said nothing. After some seconds he resumed dishwashing.

So Lero shrugged and returned to his brainstorming. “And how best to start the ball rolling... break the ice and get down to business?”

He thought some more, spinning his fork around in the middle of his half-eaten slice of cake.

“Hey, Applejack!” he spoke, imagining the swapped palomino mare was with him. “As bad luck has it, I’ve come down with a bad case of unemployment. But the good news is, I’ve always been the biggest fashion ace ever to walk the earth since needle first met thread! Yes, I know it might’ve SEEMED like my interest in fashion was lukewarm-at-best for all the years you’ve known me... but hey, I was JUST BLUFFING the whole time! So! Maybe we could be of mutual assistance to each other?”

SLAM!

The ceramic plate came down on the countertop with such force, it was a marvel neither of them broke.

“SPIKE!” Lero thundered. This was clearly intentional and reckless, so his voice was at full angry-parent volume. “What the HELL is going on?! It’s one thing to be loud, but now you’re almost breaking them! Didn’t you hear me?”

Spike still had yet to turn around to face the human. But his little claws clenched into fists and his head looked down into the water.

“...didn’t you hear me, Lero...?” Spike’s voice sounded... off, somehow. A little fainter than normal. Unnatural. He almost had to strain to hear him. Lero had a strong intuition that Spike’s question had nothing to do with dishes.

“What do you mean?” the human asked.

“And we definitely won’t be letting young dragons interrupt us in the foyer!” the dragon exclaimed. His voice was lowered, a mocking little-boy tone that tried to match that of Lero, himself. And then the dragon’s voice went higher and feminine, a mock imitation of Rarity. “That was very embarrassing.”

Lero burned with sudden embarrassment and... regret. He heard?! Spike had HEARD them?! Lero’s stomach dropped. Even though both feet were still firmly planted on the floor, it still felt like his body was plummeting down a chasm.

The end of Spike’s tail gave a slight twitch to one side as he picked up a champagne flute and dunked it into the dishwater.

“That’s what you think of me, huh? BOTH of you. Spike the Interruption. That’s what I am.”

“Spike, what were you — no! That’s not what I meant! That’s not what EITHER of us meant!”

Lero stood up and took a step around the table, reaching out to Spike.

“Stay right where you are!” Lero froze in place, feeling ashamed and trying desperately to think. There HAD to be SOMETHING he could say to set all this right!

Spike turned back and pulled a champagne glass out of the dishwater and rubbed it with a rag.

SQUEEEEK----UUUUUHHHHH----SQUUEEEEEK---UUUUUUUUHHH....

“Heh heh heh heh heh... did you know I was crying into my pillow last night until long after midnight? Heh heh heh heh... of course you didn’t. You and Rarity were too busy with OTHER THINGS.”

SQUEEEEK----UUUUUUUHHH----SQUUEEEEEK---UUUUUUUUHHH....

The sound produced by that dishrag dragging across the glass of the champagne flute filled Lero with a vague, uncertain dread.

“Gotta hand it to you, big brother, NOBODY bounces back from loss and tragedy quite as fast as YOU do! And then Lyra and Twilight came home, and OH what a PARTY the four of you had! I heard every bit of it through my bedroom walls while I was crying and crying and NOT ONE OF YOU CARED. NONE OF YOU CAME TO CHECK UP ON ME. NONE OF YOU GIVE A FLYING FEATHER ABOUT ME.”

“That’s not true!” Lero cried, imploringly. “We LOVE you, Spike! All of us love you with all of our hearts!”

“Like you loved Rainbow Dash with all your heart?!” The stem of the champagne flute snapped and crunched in the young dragon’s clawed grip. Its glass cup fell and shattered sharply on the floor. Spike ignored it, casually brushing away the glass shards embedded in his scaly hands.

“Movies! Popcorn! Music! Cake! And let’s not forget: plenty and plenty of K-I-S-S-I-N-G! Yesterday, you and Twilight and Lyra CELEBRATED Dash being gone... like she was Star Sparkle or Honeydew!”

“It wasn’t a celebration of losing Dash...!” Lero started, a tiny bit of heat in his voice.

“SHUT UP!” snarled Spike, cutting him off. At last, Spike turned around. He clearly hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep last night. His bleary, teary red eyes held tremendous pain. Lero felt scummier with each passing second he looked into them, and he tried not to look away in shame. “And you took my girl, Lero. I mean, you’ve got THREE GIRLS ALREADY, and you just helped yourself to the ONLY ONE that I loved! You know, they call us DRAGONS greedy, but we’ve got NOTHING on YOU, big brother!”

Spike dropped from the chair and fell to his knees among the glass shards, weeping on the floor, and the dragon’s terrible words forced Lero to remember the vision Rarity had granted him; the vision of Rainbow Dash on the beach, telling him that it would all be okay.

Was it wrong? Was it right? A lustful, conniving femme fatale of a unicorn would’ve conjured a pretty, seductive mirage for Lero to fall for, just to get in his pants. But Rarity was not that girl. Rarity had fought and nearly died for him, and for all the members of his herd, she’d done nothing but love and give. For all the turmoil she’d bought into their lives, Rarity was uncategorically on their side. And so Lero believed, all the way to his core, that the vision had been real. Though Lero doubted Spike would agree.

And yet... there was one thing Spike was 100% right about. One thing to which there was no moral ambiguity.

From the time he had returned home from Rainbow Dash’s cottage and watched the heartbroken young dragon race to his bedroom... Lero truly HADN’T spared a single thought for Spike. He HADN’T considered the boy’s feelings. Caught up in the moment, he had simply repeated the same awful mistake he’d made with Twilight: he’d put so much importance on his Swapped friends — their feelings and their happiness — that he’d ignored his own Unswapped family. And once again, they had suffered for it.

God forgive him.

Words failed Lero... until he looked up and saw what was billowing from Spike’s nostrils and mouth.

“Spike?” he asked, in a faltering voice. “Is that you? What are you doing?!”

It poured from Spike’s mouth and nostrils like a campfire. The dragon rose to his feet, with a dismaying reptilian glare of coldness. When he spoke, his voice no longer had any aspect of the young boy. It was all menacing dragon, however small he was. “So what if it is?”

“Spike... I know you’re upset, but you have no right endangering our home!” Lero said, suddenly angry again and pointing his finger sternly. “Now calm down and...” He started with a reconciling tone.

FWOOOOM!!!

PAIN! Reflexively Lero jerked his hand away. Fire! FIRE! Dense and red and hot, an inferno dancing all over his hand! The ancient, primal fear filling him, Lero screamed and backed away in horror.

“DON’T YOU DARE POINT THAT FINGER OF YOURS AT ME!” Spike raged. “LIKE YOU’RE IN THE RIGHT!”

It burned! It burned! Oh God, it burned so bad!

As he screamed again and clutched his hand, he looked at Spike... and it didn’t matter that Spike was three feet tall and not as big as a mountain top, it didn’t matter that Spike was just a couple dozen pounds, instead of heavy as a house, and it didn’t matter that Spike’s mouth wasn’t big enough to gobble him down whole like the dragons of fairy tales. His eyes dripped hatred. His sharp claws were out. His pointed teeth were bared. And flames and smoke roiled and churned in his maw.

The little boy had disappeared. Before Lero now stood a creature of myth. On Earth; a metaphor for the unending destruction of fire, the fear of the alien reptile, and the unending consumption of greed. In Equestria; very real, capable of chewing rubies and bathing in molten lava. And here Lero was, soft and cookable, in a house made of wood and filled with thousands upon thousands of very flammable books. Spike had the power — he had ALWAYS had the power! — to burn this whole house down around him, with Lero in it, and he could just walk away unharmed from the blazing wreckage.

“If you EVER point those fingers at me like that again,” seethed the dragon whose greatest treasure Lero had stolen, “I swear on everything Rarity was that I’ll BITE THEM RIGHT OFF!!!”

His index finger had gotten the worst of it; it pained him most, and looked ugliest. But the rest of the burn on Lero’s right hand was only slightly less of a blistered, swollen red mass. The nerves in his hand were still screaming in agony at him, the fire might as well still be upon it.

“What... what are you going to do, Spike?” he asked, attempting to keep his voice steady, but the strain and shakiness from his pain and fear relentlessly seeping in. He backed away slowly from the enraged baby dragon now stalking towards him. “Are you gonna kill me?”

“Oh, the thought HAS crossed my mind.” Seething billows of hot smoke poured from between Spike’s tightly clenched and very pointy teeth. Lero could vividly imagine his throat being simultaneously clamped down upon and chargrilled.

“Spike, please, you’ve got to listen to me...!”

The jet of flame Spike shot from his jaws came mere inches from cooking Lero’s left ear; he felt the heat rush past it and smelled the stench of singed hair. He jerked his head away, throwing himself awkwardly to the floor. It was not a small flame, either. They were lucky nothing had caught fire. Especially him.

“THAT was a warning shot,” Spike growled to the human. “Now you’re going to shut up and do what I tell you to! Nod if you understand.”

Lero nodded.

“Good. Now, hands in the air.”

Lero awkwardly got to his feet, raising his hands. His adrenaline was pumping so hard through his veins that his hand’s throbbing felt distant, like it was happening to someone else.

“You’re going to turn around and walk into the bathroom. SLOWLY. No sudden movements, or tonight I’m serving Bellerophon Flambé for dinner!!” he snarled, exactly like a thug during a stickup.

“Alright, Spike, alright.” When Lero turned around, he heard Spike grab something that gave a small, metallic-sounding scrape. Step by careful step, Lero headed towards the downstairs bathroom, his hands in the air. “See? I’m cooperating nicely! Peacefully! We don’t have to resort to anything drastic, do we?”

“I said shut up!” Spike snarled from right behind him. When Lero finally entered the downstairs bathroom, the angry young dragon remained by the door and shut the human inside. Lero heard a key turning in the door’s lock.

“Spike? Spike?!” Lero now could hear the sound of dragon feet running away from the bathroom. He tried the doorknob, but it was well and truly locked. He pounded on the door. “Spike! Whatever you’re planning, you don’t want to do anything you’re going to regret later on!”

From the next room over, the dragon gave a loud, evil chuckle that raised every hair on Lero’s back, neck, and arms. “Oh, don’t worry! I’m not going to regret a THING I’m about to do to you, Lero!”

Lero’s burned hand throbbed worse than ever... and Lero imagined what it would be like to experience that pain across all the rest of his body, as well. He heard Spike’s feet padding back towards the bathroom door.

“Are you ready, Lero? Heh heh heh...”

“NO!” he cried. “PLEASE!"

“Dear Princess Celestia...”

“DON'T… What?!” Lero could hear a quill scratching across paper.

“Last night, I learned some valuable lessons from Twilight, Lyra, Rarity, and especially from Lero.” Spike called through the door, narrating his own writing. “First, they taught me that grownups make their most important life decisions based on what’s between their legs; a lesson I intend to make good use of, well into my own adulthood.”

All sorts of shame crashed down upon Lero’s head.

“What do you think so far? I learned an awful lot writing all of those letters for Twilight, Lero!” Spike taunted. “But even more importantly, they taught me the most valuable lesson about family and friends! Namely; to recognize when they don’t actually respect you.”

Lero slammed his good fist against the door. “We DO respect you, Spike! We LOVE you!”

“YOU CAN TRY,” Spike bellowed, angrily raising his voice above Lero’s, “to be reasonable and understanding about what your other family members are going through during a weird situation. Particularly if it involves a certain Swapped pony hitting on everyone else BUT you. You can try to find a middle ground with them, to keep things from going too far. But last night I learned that if one pony’s offering herself while the other isn’t... guess which one’s family? Guess which one isn’t?”

“Spike... please...” The weight of Lero’s growing guilt felt like it would crush his heart. He flinched when Spike leaned hard against the door and hammered at it with his dragon fist.

“I know you must’ve thought I’d just put up with your horse apples forever and ever!” Spike shouted at him, “That you being older than me makes you KING... But last night, you and everyone else went too far! INCLUDING Rarity!”

Then Lero heard Spike pick his quill and paper up again, and resumed dictating his vitriolic letter.

“But here’s some good news, Princess Celestia! My four herdmates will never have to worry about that pesky baby dragon walking in on their fun ever again! Why? Because I’m moving out! I’ll be running off straight through the Everfree Forest until I find some magical place to TRULY call home! A place where there are no Swapped ponies to tiptoe around! I’m fed up with my emotions being toyed with, every which way! I’m sick of no one REALLY caring about anyone else! And I’m SO done with being treated like a slave... PARTICULARLY with having to be the one to wash their stained, musty bedsheets! I’m sick of the Swap, sick of Twilight, sick of Lyra, sick of Rarity trampling all over my heart, but above all else, I’m sick of the dirty, thieving APE they all love!

Best Wishes,

Spike.”

Lero tried calling Spike’s name again, shouted demands that the little dragon unlock the door... but he only heard Spike run off, and soon the front door opened with a bang and slammed shut behind him with a louder bang. The human felt his body slide against the bathroom door towards the floor. He’d never imagined Spike would’ve ever hurt him.

Nor had Lero ever imagined he’d hurt Spike so badly. The little guy really, truly, HATED him. No tears fell from his eyes, but the human’s heart felt hollow and crushed as he thought about Spike’s tears, and Spike’s teeth, and the fire he’d hurt him with.

Him and Spike: enemies. He felt like a wicked stepfather. Lero felt like he could roll over and die...

For a few angry seconds, resentment flared inside him. What a HYPOCRITE that little dragon was! The ONLY reason he was upset was that it’d been Rarity! If it’d been ANY of the other Element Bearers who’d swapped into Dash’s role... Spike wouldn’t have raised a peep, would he?! Spike would’ve acted like some side character in a sitcom, dropping clever quips every now and then, as Applejack or Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy treated his older herdmates like longtime lovers. Then he’d have gone chasing after Rarity the Farmer, or Rarity the Animal Caretaker, or Rarity the Party Queen... just as surely as he’d always chased after Rarity the Fashionista! Half the domestic drama he’d suffered was thanks to that stupid dragon’s puppy crush!

But then Lero thought of how Spike had cried yesterday, when they’d been walking back from Dash’s cottage. Spike could be immature and selfish as hell... but he really HAD loved Rainbow Dash. And it would’ve hurt him to lose her as a sister, regardless of who’d taken her place.

He shook his head. Enough! He was wasting time. Spike was running away from home, running towards the Everfree Forest! Lero needed to catch up with the dragon before he REALLY had something to wallow in misery over! His burned hand hurt as he used it to prop himself up to a stand.

Lero looked about the room, from the door to the window. Now to solve the bewildering mystery of how he was going to escape this bathroom. Yell for help? Break down the door? Worth a shot: he tried ramming the door with his shoulder.

SLAM!

“Ow.”

* * *

Blazing resentment ate at Spike’s heart as he ran through the streets of Ponyville. Every few steps a little choked sob leaked out, but every time it happened he crushed it down, letting anger and hate fill the empty space that was burned away in his heart, and his little clawed hands clenched with rage.

That human! What a selfish, heartless, dream-crushing, sleazy, two-timing home-wrecker! And his name was dumb, to boot! The worst day of Spike’s life was when Twilight made the mistake of falling for that ape — even if Spike hadn’t known it at the time! What a JERK!

It was one thing for Twilight to fall for Rarity... and Lyra too! Girls falling in love with other girls was, like, normal. A natural part of ponies forming their herds. But for LERO, the ‘stallion’ to place himself at the center of that, for him to take advantage of Rarity offering herself when he KNEW she wasn’t in her right mind, for him to steal away Spike’s future girlfriend...!

Oh, Spike should’ve KNOWN better than to even let Lero enter their home. That slimeball! All those days watching him and Rarity grow closer and closer... Well, they could HAVE each other now! What did HE care?!

Spike sniffled and unclenched and reclenched his fists, as if relentlessly squeezing something, growling in furor. Smoke leaked from his mouth and nostrils. Ponies walking nearby got out of his way in a hurry, stepping across the street from him and breaking into a quick trot... away from the grumbling, smoking dragon.

Rarity! Spike would never be able to think anything good of that mare ever again! So what if she was under a spell?! So what if she ‘didn’t TRULY understand’ how her actions, her infatuation of that stupid human affected him?! There were only so many times a guy could put up with a girl ‘unintentionally’ ripping his heart apart before reaching his limit! And Twilight! Ha! What would she even do without him? Forced to reorganize all her own books herself! Forced to write her own checklists! Forced to wait for the POSTAL SERVICE to deliver her friendship reports to the Princess, instead of being able to have instant-access to her! Wouldn’t THAT be funny?! Wouldn’t SHE be distraught?!

Well, serves her right! Serve them ALL right, for forgetting about him! He’d show them all he could be just as heartless as they were! And he’d be more SUCCESSFUL in life than all of them put together! He’d find some BETTER ponies to take him in, somewhere on the opposite end of the Everfree Forest, put himself to use for them, and Twilight’s herd would BEG him to come back home, and he’d tell Twilight to hatch a new egg for herself before laughing in all their faces: ha ha ha ha HA!!!

Midway through the marketplace, however, Spike ran out of breath. Damn it! He was out of shape. He shouldn’t have scarfed down so many sapphires and rubies this month: corundums were notoriously fattening! (Not to mention all the cookies and cakes and doughnuts he’d been helping himself to, as well.)

Spike found himself a bench to sit down and catch his breath, panting as he gave his leg muscles a chance to cool and stop feeling so weak and wobbly. However, as he sat, attempting to relax his legs, he found his temper slowly cooling off, and suddenly this all started seeming less and less like a good idea. He set his mind to reviewing everything he’d done since blowing up at Lero.

How stupidly he was going about this. Running away from home was all fine and dandy, but he hadn’t taken any money with him! No food, either! All he’d brought from home was his stupid quill and inkwell, and the letter he’d written to Celestia. Really, he’d already tried to run away once, he should have been better prepared for the second time.

Remembering the letter, Spike held it up, unfolded it, and skimmed it over a second time. Huh. While writing these words, Spike thought he’d been witty and scathing. It was still scathing on the second read-through, but witty? Not so much. It sounded more... petty. Nasty. Childish... and not in the good way that a child like him could be proud of. Did he really want to send Princess Celestia a letter like THIS?

He would’ve burned it to ash, except this might’ve accidentally mailed it to Celestia. So instead, Spike tore the letter up into the tiniest pieces he could, and tossed them all in a nearby marketplace rubbish bin.

As his anger had calmed, the smoke he’d been huffing out steadily faded away as he sat there and thought. Now what was he going to do? Was he really going to enter the Everfree Forest? He didn’t know how to navigate through the wilds, even if he was just cutting through to another town! He remembered there being a dragon living in a cave somewhere in the Everfree... but he’d been mean, and most certainly unwilling to welcome a baby dragon. Come to think of it, an awful LOT of dragons tended to be mean, and most ponies seemed to know that.

So where could he go? Who would take him in? Who would give him a chance? Hard to say. What would become of him, all alone, especially in a worse-case scenario? Would he be a thief? A beggar? Another foul-tempered feral dragon, living in the forest?

Dead?

No! It would never come to that. He was the number one assistant of Princess Celestia’s faithful student; it was only a matter of time before somepony freed Lero from that bathroom, or Lero freed himself. If he wasn’t free already. Simply a matter of time before they sent search parties after him, before Twilight, Rarity, and Lyra, themselves, went looking for him. And they were ‘only’ three of the strongest, smartest, most magical unicorns he knew of. Frankly, Spike had never been great shakes at hide-and-seek to begin with.

Ponies passed Spike by as he sat on his bench. Happy mothers with happy foals. Happy herds. Happy individuals Spike knew had come from happy herds. It made him feel more alone than ever.

...Would it really be THAT horrible, continuing to live with his family? They’d proven themselves to be selfish, last night, but they’d never been all-around EVIL. Not even Lero. Maybe they didn’t care about him as much as he thought they cared, but they cared SOME.

Spike remembered little Ruby Pinch, who was the same age of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. She thought the world of her drunkard mother, Berry Punch. Little Ruby could always be counted on to defend her mother, even as Berry’s progressively worsening boozing had caused her to start to neglect her daughter more and more. Maybe he could stand to live with bad parents, as well. Maybe. Even if it was just to get by.

...He loved Twilight so much. Even if he couldn’t have Rarity... they still had something special, didn’t they? He was her number one assistant, after all, and she always said it with the nicest smile, like she really loved him and really meant it. When he came home, maybe she’d at least pretend to understand where he was coming from.

But wow, they’d all be so MAD at him when he got back home! And even if he grit his teeth and bore it, their bedroom shenanigans with Rarity would NEVER be a thing Spike could stomach easily. Wasn’t there ANYTHING he could do to make this situation more bearable? Less painful to deal with?

He looked to the quill and ink he still carried, then to a poster on a wall: LOST PUPPY: ZIPPY. And he realized; yes, there was something he could do. One last compromise to try.

Spike ripped the poster off the wall, and composed another, better message on the back side:

Dear Princess Celestia,

Since the days I was young enough to write words for Twilight onto paper, I have served you and your faithful student faithfully. Everything from sorting books to sending super-important messages between you and Twilight. I do what I do with almost no complaint. I don’t ask for much in life. A sturdy roof over my head, a soft bed to sleep in at night, a serving of precious gemstones to get me through the day... nothing extravagant or unreasonable.

So now I have a huge favor to ask, in honor of all my dutiful dutifulness. I want my name removed from Discord’s exemption list. I want him to Bewitch me. Dealing with all this insanity has become almost more than I can bear! It’s changed my whole family! It’s gotten to the point where I don’t think I can even stand to live with any of them, unless I get Bewitched!

Please, Princess, I’ve done so much for you, and I don’t want to have to run away from home! Can’t you find it in your heart to do this for me?

Your Obedient Servant,

Spike

There! Perfect! Before he could let himself change his mind, he breathed a blast of green fire at the rolled up message. He watched the smoke curl up in the air and whisk it towards Celestia’s palace. He tried not to feel too pleased with himself; after all, it wasn’t like he had a real choice. The only way he could see himself dealing with a Rarity who loved Lero was to forget he ever had special feelings for her. This way, he could look upon Rarity kissing Lero, and feel as even-keel about it as if she really HAD been Rainbow Dash, herself. The Swap was ALREADY turning his life into a lie. Might as well go all-out!

He waited. And waited. And waited. Discord did not come. Spike considered the possibility that Discord HAD come, invisibly, but Spike knew his memories hadn’t been altered. He still remembered the days of Rarity being a fashionista.

“C’mon, c’mon!” He grumbled under his breath.

He waited.

“COME ON!!!” He shouted at the sky.

He waited some more. His spiked tail thumped the ground. His little claws balled into fists in frustration.

“What’s TAKING you so long?!” He shouted at the ground.

“I know you’re here!” He yelled into a drainpipe (with Discord, you just never knew!) “I know you’re watching me! You’re watching ALL of us, all the time! I’m ASKING you to come change my brain! Why would you POSSIBLY be dragging your heels?! Or is it just not FUN for you when the victim’s willing?!”

“Spike?”

The young dragon turned from the drainpipe spout. From a few yards away, Applejack stared at him with alarm and worry. Newly-bought groceries sat in the saddlebags she wore.

* * *

It was the first time Spike had set foot in the Carousel Boutique since Rarity had begun living in his house. Looking from ponyquin to ponyquin was so mind-boggling an experience, it was enough to drive his unhappiness away for a little while.

“Ah see they caught yer eye,” Applejack said, shrugging the grocery bags off her back, right in the middle of her showroom. “So which one d’ya like best?”

Spike first considered the ponyquin farthest to the left. Sheer white silk shimmered like the sun, draping gracefully backward and swelling into wide, full skirts. Matching golden shoes complemented it perfectly. A multicolored veil draped back from the neckline, so light as to float in the air.

"This one’s fantastic, Applejack, but I think a fat-flanked Celestia costume is a little too daring, don't you?" Spike suggested.

“Celestia costumes are timeless... never REALLY go outta style; haven’t fer centuries. Though Ah agree; Ah might’ve given a bit too MUCH leeway on the flank, though. Ya think it might not be too late ta do alterations on it?”

“Worth a try,” Spike said, diplomatically, and looked over at the next set of ponyquins to the right.

Black plates gleamed with an ominous oily sheen as the light played across them, each forcefully warped and worked into shape, leaving countless horseshoe-shaped dents across its otherwise-ungiving surface. The unholy hybrid between a coffin and a hockey mask seemed to have little in the form of cloth or articulation about it, though its heavy hinges clearly showed it was meant to open rather like an iron maiden. No limbs marred its unique cocoon-like appearance. No openings but for a small slit for the eyes, and a small grille for the snout.

"Missus Cake'll never have to worry 'bout Pound Cake gettin' hurt with those li’l numbers! Soon, every mother'll be wanting one for their foals," Applejack proudly announced. "Ah lined it with lead, too."

“Lead?”

“Fer protection,” she explained. “And don’t you love how they match the one Ah made fer Mrs. Cake, herself?”

Spike gave his best show of an approving nod, while looking at the next one. It was... boxy. Very boxy. Actually made out of wooden boxes for the most part, in fact. Lero would have recognized the pattern immediately, painted mostly in reds and blues, with an open-faced box over the head and more boxes on each leg.

“Transformative, ain’t it?” asked Applejack.

“Transformative... it certainly... IS that!” Spike agreed. “Optimally so. Prime, even."

Applejack was silent for a brief moment. “Why thank yew kindly, Spike! Ah might just have to borrow that name from ya! So you like that one best?” the former farmer asked, hopefully.

“I think so!” Spike could actually remember designing an outfit like this for himself, long ago, when pretending to be a daring fairytale knight. It had even been made of boxes, like this was. He’d used up a wealth of grey crayons, coloring the cardboard ‘armor!’

Applejack beamed at her young dragon friend. “Come inta the kitchen with me, Spike, lemme give yew a treat!”

She picked her grocery bags up in her mouth, and Spike followed her into the Carousel’s Boutique’s kitchen. What he saw stopped Spike in his tracks, and he gasped and felt cold all over again.

With the Carousel Boutique’s showroom, you would be appalled by the sheer horrific tastelessness of the dresses on display. But at least the showroom had been kept CLEAN, for whatever few customers had happened by. But the kitchen... the kitchen was appalling for its sheer FILTHINESS.

Trash cans overflowing with refuse were the first thing Spike saw. Then his surprised eyes darted from one horrifying spot to the next. More trash, empty boxes, dishes and flatware, and the molding remains of past meals were piled across the countertops. He walked across the floor, and discovered it was... sticky. An overripe stench hung in the air; old rotten banana peels and coffee grounds, mostly-empty cat food cans, and a few other equally pungent, um, things. Spike knew he couldn’t run and he couldn’t hold his breath for long, so the fire-breathing dragon started taking desperate, shallow breaths. He was starting to think of a really positive use for his fire at this moment.

Rarity had always been a fastidiously neat, cleanly sort of girl, and she remained so even after her Swap. (Just one small part of what made her so lovable!) Whereas Applejack, (especially in direct contrast with Rarity) was not. Yet Spike knew that what he was seeing went far beyond Applejack’s high tolerance of dirt. Even before the swap, Applejack knew to throw garbage out, and keep her home clean. Sweet Apple Acres might be a farm where ponies sweated and toiled and got dirty all day long, but their house was always clean and homey. So no, this was a clear indication of how far Applejack’s dressmaking addiction had consumed her. Particularly given what sat in the center of this room.

“Why... Applejack, why did you bring your sewing machine into the middle of your kitchen?” Spike questioned.

Applejack shrugged while pulling open the refrigerator door. “Inspiration room weren’t givin’ me the right inspiration no more. Bedroom weren’t givin’ me the right inspiration either. Thought Ah’d give the kitchen a shot.”

Spike saw the fridge was an empty as the day it’d first been bought; nothing but stains inside. It was a relief to see Applejack loading groceries into it.

“Can I ask what yew were hollerin’ about, out’n the streets?” she asked him.

“I was yelling for Discord,” said Spike, because his tongue was just thirty times faster than his brain today.

A bag of snap peas fell out of Applejack’s mouth. “Discord?”

“Y-yeah,” the dragon said, trying to think quickly as he ran to scoop the fallen pea pods back in their bag for AJ. Ick, the floor was still sticky. “S...something happened that REALLY upset me, and I wanted Discord to... to wash it right out of my brain.”

“What were yew tryin’ to forget?”

“IT’S PRIVATE!” he growled, with anger he did not need to fake. “Please, Applejack, for the love of... EVERYTHING, just don’t ask me, okay?! I don’t even want to remember that it happened, let alone open up about it. Please.”

“Okay, okay. Ah understand.” Then, from soft reassurance, Applejack’s tone switched to whispered warning. “But Ah will say this: yew don’t want ta go ASKIN’ things of Discord like he’s sum kinda god yew go ta pray ta fer stuff! VERY risky, even if... or maybe ESPECIALLY if... he IS in a helpin‘ mood!”

The little dragon nodded grimly. He hadn’t forgotten Lero’s story about his own first encounter with Discord. It’d been ridiculously easy for the human to attract Discord’s notice; Spike seriously doubted Lero had even had the draconequus in mind when he’d screamed his drunken wish to be insane.

Discord had ended up helping the human, yes, but Lero’d had to go through a smorgasbord of lunacy, first, that could’ve just as easily gone real bad for him. But Spike only needed to remember the noises that’d come from that bedroom Lero and his mares all shared to remind himself: getting bewitched was worth any risk.

Really, it was just LIKE Discord, turning his back on him when he was on his knees, begging! Maybe he was safe, after all...

“Still, not like he’s ALL bad, anymore!” Both of them gave a tense look around the kitchen, each wondering if the Chaos God was with them right now, watching. If he was, it was impossible to sense his presence. “Discord actually bought some clothes from me yesterday!”

“Really?”

“Yeah, though he’d disguised himself as a unicorn. Called himself ‘Zany Antics!’” They both laughed as she set several wine bottles in the fridge. “Like Ah couldn’t see straight through ‘im!”

Then she shut the door, turning towards Spike. “Ah’m sorry ta say yew caught me at a time when Ah’m plum outta jewels. But please have some cookies, instead! Yer welcome ta as many as ya please!”

And she handed him a box of coconut macaroons so delicious, Spike didn’t even mind that they weren’t gems. As he ate, she strode over to the sewing machine at the other table, and sat down herself down.

Clacka-lacka-clacka-lacka-lack...

“It's so mighty good ta see ya here again, Spike,” he heard her say, far more subdued and softer than he could ever remember from her. “Ah really missed havin' ya around.”

“...Around?” Spike repeated, after gulping down a particularly tasty macaroon. This was only his first time here, with her.

She kept to her work. She kept her back towards him. She did not turn her head around. Up and down went the needle on her machine: Clacka-lacka-clacka-lacka-lack.

“Ya've given me so many wonderful memories. Ah remember when ya helped me dig up those gems in that Diamond Dog territory. Ah remember how ya looked after Opal when me an’ the other gals needed ta go up ‘n’ see Princess Cadence and make sure the Crystal Empire got to be picked ta host the Equestria Games, and yew did it fer a tiny, tiny sliver of a jewel.”

A great pit opened within Spike’s mind, and every word from the orange-coated mare was filling it up with bombshells. His eyes shot towards Applejack’s flank, and stayed locked upon it, mesmerized. They slowly widened...

“...Yew always helped me out with whatever Ah needed help with. Ev’ry li’l thang.”

Three diamonds. Three gorgeous diamonds. Rarity’s soul. The missing part he’d yearned for all this time!

“...And yew were so sweet about it too, Spike, even lettin' me use yew as a pincushion once, and yah never once complained...”

Sweet Celestia, he was the stupidest dragon ever. How had his brain not made this connection until now?! They all knew what the Swapped were! Spike had always known on a SUPERFICIAL level that Applejack now had Rarity’s mark, and that she spent nearly every waking hour in this Boutique cranking out dresses, but why had it taken THIS LONG for him to think deeper and consider what that really MEANT...?!

“...Always a perfect li'l gent of a dragon... remember that fire ruby yew gave me?”

It instantly struck Spike that for all Applejack's youth... she sounded and acted like some grandmother, forgotten by her family after they shut her up in an old folks' home. To see strong and vibrant Applejack reduced to this, to hear the terrible loneliness in her voice...

“Ah used to be flocked with customers, had lots of suitors all vyin’ fer mah hoof in marriage...” Sadness crept into the mare’s voice and grew as she continued to work, her eyes fixed blankly on her sewing. “Biggest must-know names in all Equestria... but none of ‘em was ever good enough fer me. Ah wasn’t settlin’ fer anythang less than a great big gold medal of a stallion, a prince from a fairy tale, a prince even better than what Rarity’s got...”

Looking at those three diamonds, STARING at those three diamonds... it felt like the cutie mark itself was speaking directly to Spike right from that orange-coated flank, like the REAL RARITY was speaking to him...

“...And now Ah’m lucky ta have clowns and chaos gods buyin’ from me, cuz no one else will,” she said quietly, and a gleam of wetness began to form at the edge of her eyes. “Ya know, mah dresses were once the talk of Canterlot, and now no one else will LOOK at the ugly thangs. That’s all mah threads’re fit fer: clowns ‘n’ chaos gods.”

“...And humans,” Spike found himself saying before he could think.

Applejack paused in her work and gave a shuddery laugh. “Lero... bless that fellah’s heart...”

Spike’s claws dug into his palms. Bad enough having ONE part of Rarity singing Lero’s praises...

“Hey, Spike?” Applejack resumed her sewing: Clacka-lacka-clacka-lacka-lack... “Yew wanna know what the funny thang is? The thang Ah’ve come ta miss most, more’n all the celebrities, all the publicity, even all the money Ah made... was yew. Yew comin’ by. Have yew found sum other gal? Some filly yer own age?”

“I... uh... I...” It was hard to form words while watching Applejack wipe her arm across her eyes.

“Mah sweet li’l Spike, growing up! So proud a‘ yew. Who is she? Ah know it ain’t Sweetie Belle, she’d’ve told me! Can Ah guess? Is it... Apple Bloom? That Twist girl, maybe? Ah’ll admit, Spike, Ah’m jest the tiniest bit jeal... AAAHHH!!!!!”

The mare jerked her hand away from the sewing machine, Spike seeing a flash of bright red as she did, she rapidly cradling one hoof in her other hoof, her breath hissing out between her teeth.

“Rar... Applejack! What happened!?" Spike jumped up and rushed to her side, but the mare shifted away from him.

“Now, now, nuthin’ to worry yerself about, just got nicked by tha’ sewing machine.”

Spike glanced back over to the sewing machine, seeing the sewing needle still glimmering with a darkening red. “It wasn’t nothing. Show it to me.” He said firmly.

“But...”

“No arguments.” He insisted.

“Faihn. Sweet of ya, but yer makin’ a mountain out of a molehill, Spike.” She extended her hoof to him; the blood dripping off didn’t add much to her argument.

He carefully examined the wound, his mind flashing back to all the first aid books Twilight made him read, in case of accidents like this. “Okay, this is pretty bad, but it shouldn’t need stitches, but it needs to be properly bandaged.”

“Ah kin take care of tha...”

“No!” Spike shouted. Just a glance around at the filthiness of their surroundings caused him to shudder at the thought of leaving herself to it. Then he noticed the odd look Applejack was giving him. “I mean… Please, AJ, let me help you.” He gave her the best pleading look he could manage.

“Ah… Alright.” She finally decided.

“Here.” He grabbed the half-mangled wedding dress off the sewing machine. “Sorry… but it wasn’t exactly your best work, anyhow. Hold this to the wound and keep pressure. Where do you keep your first aid kit?”

“Bottom drawer in the bathroom,” She said, following his instructions, as he skittered off. “And Spike?”

He paused, looking back. “Yeah?”

“Thanks… Thanks fer carin’ about me.”

“...Always.”

* * *

Tall, twisted trees with thick trunks encased in gnarled, scratchy bark seemed to practically enclose around Lero. Strange birds called through branches; cawing crows, screaming hawks, and the guttural hissings of turkey vultures, and other he couldn’t even begin to identify. Nothing that the Fluttershy of old would’ve ever included in her songbird choirs, he was sure. For his part, Lero was giving calls of his own.

“SPIKE!” he shouted for the fortieth time, cupping his fingers through his hands. “SPIKE! COME ON OUT!”

At least it was still bright with daylight. Had this disaster had taken place in the middle of the night... well... Lero assured himself he’d find Spike before it got that dark! He’d continue sticking to the well-trodden dirt trails for now. He peered through some of the surrounding foliage, searching for a glimpse of purple scales. Be a pain to have to go bushwhacking through all that. Did they even sell proper bushwhacking machetes in the marketplace?

“PLEASE, SPIKE! SPIKE!”

Some animal that sounded like a wild dog bayed in the distance, and his hands went to his pockets for a weapon he hadn’t actually brought. This was getting to be a real bad habit of his: racing towards danger without bringing anything to increase his survival odds! Was it too late to race back home and get some of that stuff? He stumbled on a tree root, but managed to right himself before falling flat on his face like some airhead bimbo in a slasher flick.

“You’re only going to get hurt if you stay here.” Even before turning around, Lero recognized the voice as Rainbow Dash’s.

What’s SHE doing here?! Was the first wild thought that ran through his head. But Lero calmed as he then remembered how Fluttershy had always gone out to the Everfree Forest for her wildlife care stuff, so of course, Dash would be doing that, now. Plus, he HAD been shouting his lungs out for Spike, so he’d attracted her attention. All very straightforward and logical.

The rainbow-maned pegasus stood against the side of an elm, as if she were still unsure whether to stand out in the open or hide behind the tree. Around Dash’s neck hung the same whistle she’d worn yesterday, when he’d visited her cottage with Spike. For some reason, she also had a baseball cap on her head: blue with a white-colored visor.

“Sorry, what did you say?” Lero asked.

“I said, you’re only going to get hurt if you stay in this forest,” said Dash, stepping out into the open. “For... for all you’ve helped me with my animals, you’ve never been the outdoorsy sort, Lero. If you don’t end up getting lost and hurting yourself... you’ll get hurt by the animals here. And that’s the last thing I want to have happen to you.”

“I don’t care about that!” Lero insisted. “I’m looking for Spike.”

“Spike?”

He looked downward by a sprig of poison sumac. “We... got into an bad argument. He swore he’d run away to the Everfree Forest, so I’m trying to find him here.”

The pegasus came closer, eyes widening at his burned hand. “What happened to you, there?!”

“...Like I said, Spike and I got into a BAD argument.” Lero heard an angry sound come from the pegasus’ throat.

“Well, he’s not here!” Rainbow Dash told him. “I saw Spike just a few minutes ago, he was at the Carousel Boutique!”

“The Carousel Boutique?!” The human gave a disgusted sort of laugh. “Of course. Of COURSE he’d be there! Thanks, Dash.”

He started running towards the direction of Ponyville.

“WAIT!” He looked back at her, confused. “Do you... do you wanna... would it help if I gave you a lift?” She was bending, offering her back for him to mount on, with a trepidatious sort of look. It almost made Lero feel trepidatious himself.

But in the end, he said, “Actually, if you don’t mind, yeah, that’d be great! I’d rather catch back up with Spike as soon as possible.”

But when he climbed on Dash’s back, she went tense, almost as stiff as a board as her wings flared up erectly.

“Come on, Dash!” he pleaded. “Please! If you want to help me, then help me! Spike could leave the Boutique at any moment!”

“S-sorry!” she said. All throughout their flight to the Carousel Boutique, Lero was ready to swear he could feel Rainbow Dash’s body heat rise sharply beneath him, even through the cold air whisking past him!

But he had to be imagining things; Dash couldn’t have REALLY grown hotter just because he’d climbed on top of her! That was a thing of the old days. And even if she had, it was clearly an effect of Fluttershy’s chaste shyness and nothing else.

Rainbow Dash the Animal Caretaker had made her feelings about him painfully plain, after all.

* * *

Dash landed right outside the Carousel Boutique. It had been a fast but well-controlled flight this time around.

“Thank you for helping me look for Spike,” Lero said, as he dismounted her.

“Anytime,” she replied.

“Now, we’ll want to be careful,” Lero warned Dash, before they went in. “If we do find Spike here, there’s a chance he may... still feel aggressive. Especially towards me.”

She gave another hard look at his burned hand and nodded. No one was there to greet them in the showroom when they entered. They needed to call out.

“Applejack?!”

“Spike?!”

“Welcome tew the Carousel Boutique, where everythang’s sheek, yew-neek, and mag-niff-feek!” Applejack recited, before even fully stepping out. Then, seeing who had come in, she grinned.

“Lero! Oh, good ta see ya, pardner! How’s that Fifth Doctor outfit workin’ for ya?”

“Fifth Doctor?” asked Rainbow Dash, in puzzlement.

“The super-colorful one.”

“It’s the Sixth Doctor,” the human muttered under his breath.

“Oh! Yeah, I saw that one,” the pegasus said. “The day he came in wearing that... that was an UNFORGETTABLE day.”

And her eyes immediately went to Lero, flashing him a look of deepest regret. Lero looked at her, confused...

“Say, Rainbow! Are ya looking’ fer sum threads fer yerself?” Applejack asked.

“Uh...”

“Cuz Ah got JEST the getup fer YEW!” And she pointed a hopeful hoof over to a certain ponyquin. “D’ya like it? Twilight ‘n’ Lyra stopped bah mah Boutique the other day, and they talked ‘bout how yew came by their place ‘n’ flew Lero out ta yer house! It inspired me ta make this!”

It was close to being wearable; heartbreakingly close, really. The rainbow pattern matched Rainbow Dash's colors perfectly, and it wasn't made out of anything absurdly impractical for a material. There were just two major problems with it. Instead of the colors arranged in stripes from front to back, the stripes were vertical, starting with violet at the neckline and shifting until it highlighted her rump in bright red. It clashed terribly with Rainbow Dash's mane, but that wasn't the critical flaw. It had an integrated ornate saddle, one suited for Lero to ride in, even, but it lacked the vital element of any possible way for Rainbow Dash's wings to extend.

For a few seconds, the pegasus struggled to find words to soften the blow of rejection. In a moment, she found the perfect distraction. “Applejack, what happened to your hoof?”

She raised up the bandaged hoof. “This ‘ol thang? Taint nothin’, jest a sewin’ accident. Spike bandaged it right nice, now, too...”

Lero cut in. “Spike? I’ve been looking all over for him! You’ve seen him?!”

The orange pony appreciated the gravity of their situation at once. “Yeah, Ah’ll take yew right to ‘im.”

She led them right into her kitchen, which Spike was in the middle of cleaning. The floor was still wet and smelled lemony. A mop and bucket filled with grey sudsy water sat in the corner of the room. Sunlight shone through the drawn curtains and the freshly-sparkling windowpanes. Spike, himself, was diligently washing dishes. He turned upon hearing them all enter the room, hands on a plate dripping soapy water.

“Oh, uh, hi Lero.”

The vengefully violent fire-beast who well might’ve murdered Lero earlier today appeared to have used up his anger. All that remained was this sorry-looking little boy of a dragon, who wasn’t going to be attacking him or running away from home.

“Er... would you mind giving me a couple more minutes before bringing me home? I just want to finish AJ’s dishes for her and...”

“Spike? NOW,” Lero commanded.

Spike dropped the dish in his hand gently into the water. Wordlessly, he crossed over to Applejack and hugged her legs tightly before following Rainbow Dash and Lero out through the Boutique’s front entrance. The three of them walked towards Golden Oaks Library on foot... as Rainbow Dash was too angry to carry the little dragon back home on her back.

“You BURNED Lero, Spike?!” she seethed, as the three of them walked. “You actually BURNED Lero?!”

“Uh... yeah,” Spike admitted. He tried to look away from the other two, but Dash simply fluttered to his other side to glare into his eyes.

“Why?” She was showing an awful lot of teeth at Spike now. She poked him in the chest with a hoof. “What’d he do to you? Punch you in the eye? Toss you down the stairs? Swing an axe at you?! What?!”

“Uh, no...” he said, very discomfited. “Nothing like that, Dash...”

“What, then?!” she barked. “What did he do to deserve getting his hand fried?!”

“I can’t tell you! It’s... private!” Spike would’ve moved to put Lero between himself and her, but she brought a hoof down rather firmly on his tail.

“No! I wanna know! Now!”

Lero couldn’t have been more rattled if he’d seen the ghost of his grandmother blow him a kiss. Dash looked absolutely furious. Her anger, her protectiveness of him, it felt like a step backwards in time, like he was seeing her OLD self. Especially the way she’d been with that one colt... what was his name? Cognac? Bourbon? ....Absinthe! That was it, Absinthe! God, that was SO long ago… However, he quickly realized that this line of inquiry could only lead to bad places.

“Dash!” Lero interjected.

She looked up at him, surprised. “Huh?”

“It... what Spike got angry about really IS a private matter for us, something we don’t discuss outside our family.”

“But Lero didn’t do anything physical to me,” Spike assured the pegasus.

While she stepped off Spike’s tail, Rainbow Dash backed him against the side of a building, so they stood forehead against forehead, with the back of Spike’s head against a brick wall. The little dragon let out a yelp.

“Then you had no business, no RIGHT burning Lero!” Knees quaking, the little dragon never blinked at Rainbow Dash, who glowered at him like a sheriff glowering at some thuggish delinquent. “He shouldn’t have to be afraid of being attacked in his own home by his own family! I ought to bring you over to the place Angel Bunny is right now! Then we’ll see where your fire gets you!”

“Dash, please! Spike’s NOT Angel Bunny!” Lero begged. “Lay off him!”

Dash backed away reluctantly, still looking furious.

Spike was quite shaken up. Lero saw fear, yes, but the human was struck by how greatly overshadowed that fear was by sorrowful distress. He could read the thoughts in Spike’s eyes: A month ago, we were family, yesterday, we were ‘just friends,’ and today we’re enemies?!

Welcome to the club, Spike.

But the little guy stepped up to Lero, fixing him with his soberest and sincerest expression, wanting to show that his apology came straight from the heart, rather than the evil eye Rainbow Dash was shooting him. “Lero, I am really sorry for overreacting and lashing out at you, and for... for burning your hand. I was wrong. Being with Applejack helped put things in a new perspective for me. I’m sorry.”

Spike was still due for a punishment, and Lero let his face show that. But instead of anger or yelling, he simply nodded sternly at the little guy, the way a proper parent should.

“Apology accept—”

Spike waited seconds for the ‘ed’ but it didn’t come. He stared at the two figures.

“Lero? Rainbow Dash?”

Even after he’d called out their names several times, they did not respond. They did not move one iota. Spike watched very carefully and saw that their lungs weren’t even drawing in air. He reached out and poked both their legs. Dash’s fur didn’t even feel like real fur. Lero’s pant leg didn’t feel anything like cloth. Instead, their texture reminded him of hardened glue.

Spike’s own breathing, the slight shifting of his body sounded very loud to his ears. Why? He looked around and realized that every other pony around them, all the townsfolk and passers-by, had gone just as still. He spotted a frozen Cheerilee; with three of her legs held still in the air like that... even a statue couldn’t hold that position and not topple over! (Not without being propped up, anyway.) There was even a bird above him, wings spread in the air, but motionless as a mere illustration of a bird.

What the heck was happening?!

Then the young dragon felt a telltale fiery heat building inside his stomach. It grew and grew and suddenly he convulsed and belched out green flames, instinctively reaching out his hand. When the flames cleared away, there sat a scrolled letter in his palm. He unrolled it.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Since the days I was young enough to write words for Twilight onto paper, I have served you and your faithful student faithfully. Everything from sorting books to sending super-important messages between you and...

“I believe these were YOUR words, little Spikester?” a malevolent voice echoed around him.

Spike hadn’t even had a chance to blink; the letter in his hands had folded itself up into a perfect likeness of Discord’s head, glowering at him. The young dragon let out a startled shriek, and Discord’s paper lips peeled back delightedly, revealing sharp, papery teeth.

If the normal laws of physics had been working, the paper head would’ve been flung against the wall when Spike threw it from his hands. Instead, it floated in the air and laughed wickedly at him. Page after page grew out from the base of Discord’s head, like a time-lapse film of whipping, fast-growing tree from a seed, until the whole of Discord stood before him in paper form. Every page of paper that made up draconequus’ body was a perfect copy of Spike’s letter to Celestia: both the front, where his actual writing was, and the back, which showed Zippy the lost puppy.

“So! Our pwecious baby dwagon got his fwail, fwagile widdle heart bwoken in two, and he just can’t take it anymore! Not to fear!” He announced, the origami nightmare taking on a heroic pose. “DISCORD is here!”

Spike turned and ran from Discord as fast as his stubby little legs would go. Ten seconds passed, and the little dragon cried out as he found himself hoisted up to Discord’s eye-level by his tail.

“My breath’s not THAT bad, is it?” he asked, as as a spearmint plant suddenly sprouted out of the ground, as tall as Discord himself. He breathed on the plant and it grew another few feet taller. “Doesn’t seem like it!”

Burn him! Spike’s survival instinct urged him, as the draconequus began ingesting the spearmint plant. He’s made of paper!

But the rest of his brain quickly overruled this stupid, panicked idea. That’ll just make him mad! Or worse, it’ll amuse him, and he’ll turn it into a game!

“Please, Discord,” Spike begged. “I...!”

The draconequus leaned forward, his eyes like twin abysses, hungry to swallow Spike’s mind. The young dragon squeezed his own eyes shut against their cavernous stare. Discord merely touched a claw to the center of Spike’s forehead.

Aaah, Applejack, sweet and breathtaking Applejack... forever the apple of my eye...

It took great force of will for the little dragon to keep his eyelids shut: if he opened them, he really would be lost to those mind-bending eyes of Discord’s. The voice Spike heard in his mind was and wasn’t his own. This was the voice of the Spike From The SWAPPED Universe...

...The Spike which Rarity the Weathermare and Rainbow Dash the Caretaker and Pinkie the Farmer and Apple Bloom, her sister, and all the rest THOUGHT they were speaking to, each time they talked with him...

...The Spike he felt himself being transformed into.

Always have I loved you, Applejack, always, from the first time I saw you in town hall, putting up those ribbons...

“No!” Spike cried, shaking his head. “That wasn’t AJ! That was Rarity! Rarity!”

Rarity? Rarity was outside, making sure the weather would be clear for the Summer Sun Celebration. We met her first, just before entering town hall.

“No! RAINBOW DASH was in charge of the weather! Dash knocked Twilight into that mud puddle, and the way she ended up washing and drying her mane inspired Rarity to bring her to the Boutique to fix it...”

Are you nuts?! Applejack invited Twilight to the Boutique as... well... as a way to ingratiate herself with Princess Celestia’s representative, and Twilight was too kind a pony to refuse her! Then when Applejack was showing off her dresses, and they got to talking, that was when Applejack decided she really DID want to be Twilight’s friend for real! Applejack didn’t NEED to do anything to fix Twilight’s mane!

“No!” Spike argued. “That’s not how it went! That’s not how it went at all!”

But the voice of the doppelgänger in Spike’s head only gave a wistful sigh.

Oh my darling Applejack, how I’ve always adored you... every bit of you! The silken quality of your gorgeous orange coat!

White! The mare I love has a WHITE coat! Spike tried to remind himself. But when he tried to evoke the memories back of Rarity’s coat... all he could see was orange. Orange like a sunset. Orange like a leaf being toyed with by a playful autumn breeze. Orange like a passionate flame. White was such a BORING color, such a BLANK color, such a NOTHING-color...

Those breathtaking green eyes of yours...

Again, Spike fought to remember the amethyst hue of Rarity’s eyes... even the memory of Rarity The Weathermare would do! But no: gorgeous green irises, shimmering and bedazzling... emeralds, lucky clovers, lush meadows, the freshness of springtime! To gaze back into such eyes when Applejack looked upon you with a favorable smile... Spike could feel the flutter back in his heart all over again...

The enticing yellow of your mane!

Yes, that lovely mane of gold, a sight sweeter than honey! To watch it bounce on the back of her head was to gaze into the glow of a sunrise... NO! No, his love’s mane was colored purple! PURPLE!

Purple? Purple is TWILIGHT’S color, through and through! Honestly, I could never feel comfortable having romantic feelings towards any mare who reminded me of my older sister...

I’ve NEVER had problems differentiating between Twilight’s purple and Rarity’s purple, and you know that! You KNOW THAT!

Even so... Rarity’s already spoken for. She’s Twilight’s girl! She’s LERO’S girl. And YOU know THAT.

Spike gave an unhappy cry.

It’s not like I DON’T like Rarity. I love her, in fact! As an older stepsister. As my herd-mother. So Lero and Twilight are quite welcome to her! Besides, Earth Ponies are WAY more exotic than any unicorn could ever be.

“Exotic?!” Spike balked. “Earth Ponies?!”

Yeah! Between Twilight and Rarity and Lyra, I deal with unicorns every day of my life! I love them all, but unicorns are boring and mundane. It’s EXOTIC loving an Earth Pony, it’s EXOTIC having a girl who DOESN’T use magic to get around! I can’t use magic, either, no more than I can fly, so I’ve always identified with Earth Ponies more than either of the other pony races. Oh, if Applejack fell in love with me, I’d be the luckiest dragon in the world...

Discord, for his part, was getting a real kick out of watching Spike’s face; it alternated between a screwed-up look of torment and a blissful lovey-dovey reverie. Mind alterations were ALWAYS were always really cool, through and through, as troublesome as they were to maintain afterwards.

Right now, Spike’s memories were like a digital manuscript on the computer of an author from Lero’s old world. And he’d hacked into that file and was going to town with the find-replace function. Find every instance of the phrase “white coat” and replace it with ‘orange coat!‘ Find every instance of ‘amethyst eyes’ and replace it with ‘emerald eyes!‘ Find every memory of Spike saying ‘I love Rarity,’ and replace it with ‘I love Applejack.‘ Then go and apply a touch of creativity here and there to fill in some of the ‘plot holes‘ and embellish what was there.

Nothing quite like a mental overhaul!

“Why fight this?” Discord asked, whispering into Spike’s ear in a perfect replication of Spike’s own voice.

Not that Spike COULD fight this. No matter HOW much willpower Spike had, he was doomed to succumb to Discord’s bewitchment.

“Does it really matter if the girl you’re crushing on has a horn or not? If her eyes are purple or green? If her name starts with the letter A or R? She’s still going to be a fashionista! She’s still going to be the girl of your dreams! Your odds of winning her love are no better or worse than before! So what’s the big deal? Besides, if nothing else, remember that you asked for this, Spike! You DEMANDED it!”

“I want to be the one to bring equilibrium to Applejack!”

The Chaos God gave a small start. In his own voice, he asked, “What did you say?”

“I said I want to be the one to bring equilibrium to Applejack!” the dragon wept. “But I need to remember what she really is! Even if your bewitchment makes me gaga for AJ and convinces me SHE’S always been my #1 girl... no matter how many times I come over to help her, I... I’ll never be able to fix what’s TRULY wrong with her if you make me forget what the REAL problem is: that inside, she’s two ponies, not one! Please, Discord! Please!”

Discord pulled away the finger he’d placed on Spike’s forehead. Then he placed it gently inside Spike’s ear, using it as a vacuum cleaner to suck away all the rewritten memories he’d just inserted into Spike’s brain. Through it all, Spike kept his eyes squeezed shut.

“...You can open your eyes, Spike. I promise I’ll leave your memories untouched. May the Elements of Harmony strike me down if I lie.”

As the young dragon opened his eyes, Discord set him down on the ground. He was a flesh-and-blood being again, and not made of paper.

“Spikester, I want you to imagine something for me, okay? Imagine you’re a cook, and a customer has just commissioned you to create a ten-layer wedding cake, with all the trims and fittings. So you gather up all the ingredients, you’re preheating the oven and are about to begin baking, when the customer calls back: the wedding’s off! Don’t need the cake no more!”

He leaned in.

“How do you feel, Mr. Cook?”

“I... I think I’d be a little irritated... maybe?” Spike guessed, smiling nervously as he dried his eyes.

“I agree! And as it just so happens... I am irritated. At YOU. Just who do you think you are, DEMANDING that Celestia call ME in to fix YOUR unhappy life, you SCRIBBLER?! You scaly, spiny, gem-guzzling, fork-tongued fax machine?!”

Spike shrank away. “Ah... w-what’s a...?”

“Never mind,” Discord huffed, not wanting to get into a discussion about faxes. “The important take-home message is this: as a Chaos God, I’m NOT a big fan of Order. But if there’s one thing I loathe MORE than Order, it’s being Ordered Around! As though I were your plumber! Your carpet cleaner! Your MAID! JUST because I’m powerful, JUST because I’m immortal, doesn’t mean MY TIME ISN’T VALUABLE!”

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!”

Discord calmed a little as Spike quivered on the ground. “I hate to tell you this, Spike, but I just can’t let you off with a warning. If I let ONE guy get away with this kinda thing, everypony ELSE will expect me to do it for them, too.”

But the draconequus placed a comforting hand on the dragon’s trembling head.

“That said, I do promise to go easier on you than I would for some other schlub. Partly because you’re still just a mouthy, snot-nosed BABY dragon, who hasn’t grown up yet. But also... you did two things a lot of ADULTS wouldn’t’ve been able to do.”

“What?” asked Spike, finally looking up at Discord.

“You were able to recognize you were asking for something stupid before it was too late AND you’re putting someone else’s best interests ahead of your own happiness. Can’t help but admire that, especially since I’ve recently come to learn how hard that is. The old Rarity and Applejack would both be proud. The new ones would be, too, come to think of it.”

If Discord hadn’t just threatened to punish him seconds ago, Spike might’ve smiled at the compliment. As it was, he asked, “W... what are you going to do to me?” At that moment Spike recalled Lero asking him the same question only a short time ago, and a chill ran through him as he remembered his own response. “What’s my punishment?”

The grin Discord gave was like that of a sadistic feline. “Oh no, that would be telling. Really, the better question is: WHEN’S my punishment? And I’m not telling that, either.”

With that, Discord pulled a magazine out of his neck, opened to the middle of its pages, and dived inside. His paper body scrunched and crumpled tightly, quickly disappearing into the open pages. The magazine flopped to the ground. Spike went over to see that the magazine was actually a comic book issue. Gnarly Gnarls.

He stepped cautiously around it, as though it were a broken beaker of hydrofluoric acid. Even if Spike were anywhere near a comic-reading mood, the last thing he wanted to do was bring home an object he knew contained Discord.

“—ed.” said Lero, blinking in confusion. “Spike? How’d you get over there?” he asked.

* * *

Lero, Rainbow Dash, and Spike walked the rest of the way in relative silence, until they had reached Golden Oaks Library.

“Well, thank you for all your help, Dash,” Lero sighed, careful to open the door with his unburned hand. “I really appreciate it.”

“Anytime, Lero!” she said, brightly. “Any time at all.”

He saw Rainbow Dash stare past him through the open doorway, as though curious to see if Rarity or Twilight or Lyra was there. They weren’t. This brought a new thought... when Twilight and Lyra DID come home, he’d need to inform them about Spike’s tantrum, wouldn’t he?! AND the reason for it. Wasn’t like this could be swept under the rug.

Wonder which of us is going to get chewed out hardest? Lero brooded miserably, turning to enter his house. Me or Spike? And what’re we gonna tell Rarity?

“Lero!” the pegasus called out, with such urgency that he and Spike both wheeled around.

“What is it?”

Rainbow Dash suddenly seemed unable to hold herself still, squirming in place where she stood as though a giant bee were threatening to land on her body while her hooves were glued to the ground.

“L... Lero, when I... when I said... uh... that... you know, when I was wearing the pretty gown thing, and you... I, um, well, I’d, you’d...”

Several lumps seemed caught in her throat at once. Her tongue tasted the corners of her mouth in rapid little darts. Her eyes never quite connected with his.

“...Been a month, and, well, erm, here we both are! You know? Uh... and I’d always be doing the whistling and doing the smiling... uh, no, no, YOU were whistling and smiling, Lero... that’s what I meant to say, and... gosh, you know I’m not a speechwriter, but what I’m trying to get to is...”

Politeness was the only thing keeping Lero smiling. Listening to the pegasus babble made him feel like a small, cold square of refrigerated butter, scraaaaaapeeed hard against an over-toasted bread slice.

Somehow, clenching her eyes completely shut, was what Rainbow Dash needed to squeeze real words out of herself. “W... when I said the things I said the last time you came by my place... the last thing I wanted was for you to go home feeling like garbage. I just wanted you to be proud of me.”

“Dash, I know you weren’t trying to hurt me. And I already am proud of you.”

To think, he’d been so full of energy this morning. So psyched, so confident, high as a kite. Ready to pop the hood on Applejack and Fluttershy’s heads, fix them both lickety-split, and still be home in time to dictate a smug letter to Celestia about how awesome he was, well before the old girl lowered the sun.

Flash forward about three hours later from that point in time... and here Lero could not remember feeling more worn out. Unmotivated. Completely used up. Old, even. He was tired of having to deal with it all. His family. Animals. Weather. Cutie marks. Equilibrium.

Magenta eyes gazed earnestly into his hazel. “You sound so tired, Lero. Like you’ve got the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

Shoulders slumping, Lero managed a wan, limp smile. “Not the whole world. Just a few ponies.”

It was still early afternoon, at this point in the day... but right now, Lero wanted nothing more than to shut the door gently on this wearisome animal caretaker with the butterflies on her side, drop into his chair and just do NOTHING for once.

He didn’t want to sleep. Lovemaking wouldn’t help, even if his girls were around to offer it. Wasn’t particularly hungry. Had no interest in discussing his feelings. Didn’t want to drink himself into a stupor either, this time... well, perhaps ONE bottle of beer.

All he wanted to do was just sink into a chair, give into fatigue, settle in, and veg. Maybe play solitaire, or draw doodles in a sketchpad or bum a comic book off of Spike. Been a while since he’d read comics. Maybe tomorrow he’d be up to try helping Applejack or Fluttershy, but for now he just wanted to get his mind off his life and speak to no one. What was the name of the guy that’d said, “The quickest way to make yourself miserable is to try making everyone else happy?” What a smart man that’d been!

Heh... first Twilight, now Spike! All that was left was Lyra... and he’d have screwed over every member of his family!

“You’re not alone, you know,” Rainbow Dash told him.

“Huh?”

Rainbow Dash only stammered twice this time. “Lero, I’m looking at you right now, and your eyes... those are the loneliest pair of eyes I’ve seen in forever. It breaks my heart just to look at them. But you have to know that you’re not alone. Believe me, I know what it’s like having a zillion things needing to be done. And when the ones you share your home with suddenly decide to hurt you, despise you, make an enemy of you... no one knows how painful that is better than me!”

Spike was standing right behind Lero. For him, the most demeaning part about listening to this was how Dash never once looked his way. Unworthy of even a fleeting scowl from her. She hadn’t forgiven him.

“It’s easy to think you’re completely alone! But you’re not! Others still care about you! They care lots! YOU taught me that, Lero! Others... others wanna be there for you... if you’re willing to let them!”

A silence fell between them, but she just kept focused on him.

Her eyes...

...those heartfelt eyes of hers...

...that look she was giving him, it was almost like...

...it was EXACTLY like...

They had been talking and laughing merrily together; two figures laying sprawled on the Equestrian grass, just stopping to rest. She’d flopped down half atop him, with her head and one foreleg across his chest and a wing spread across his torso. With one hand, he’d idly stroked her mane while they both cheerfully discussed the pickup hoofball game they’d just finished in the village green. His arm eventually moved to half-embracing his pegasus friend, elbow pressed against her lower shoulder.

There they’d lain there for several minutes, cheerfully bickering over who’d done more to secure victory in the game, fencing verbally with each other as the best of friends.

And Lero had felt himself grow quizzical as Rainbow’s voice had inexplicably trailed off, distracted for some curious reason. He’d met her eyes questioningly... and she’d looked back at him for a few wordless seconds, an odd look in her rose-colored eyes...

The same odd look, the same odd silence... right before Rainbow Dash had leaned in and kissed him for the very first time.

Weariness flared into panic. Stomach-dropping, gut-freezing, wild PANIC.

“MaybetomorrowgottafixmyhandandpunishSpikeforburningmeyouknowhowkidsarethanksagainbye!”

Lero felt absolutely terrible for slamming and locking the door on Dash, even as he was doing it. As though Rainbow Dash were some kind of bloodthirsty undead ghoul. It was an irrational knee-jerk reaction. But it was just too much. It was just too damn much!

“She’s cursed!” he babbled to himself, between rapid gasps. “Rainbow Dash has always been cursed... from the VERY MOMENT that damn Swap happened, and she let you fall into those thorns. Yeah, she’s innocent, yeah, it’s unintentional. But the fact remains, Lero: you’ve been hurt, every time you’ve gone to see her! It’s a jinx. The Swap has jinxed her. Anything you do with her’s doomed to end in more pain. Maybe a lot of pain, maybe a little, maybe from her, maybe from her damn animals, but I just can’t take it anymore! Besides, that look doesn’t mean what you thought it meant. It couldn’t have!”

From outside, Lero heard the sound of pegasus wings flapping away. He breathed a sigh of relief, hating himself for it.

“Hey, Lero,” Spike called out from right outside his bedroom. “Come up here to my room.”

Lero glared up the stairs. “You are in SO much trouble, Mister! Just wait’ll I think up a good punishment for you! Just wait’ll Twilight gets home!”

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll have time to punish me later.” Spike told him. “For right now, come up to my bedroom. It’s important. I promise.”

* * *

Once upon a time, Spike the dragon baby had slept in a basket by the foot of Twilight Sparkle’s bed. Then came a new day where Twilight began sharing that bed of hers with one of her truest friends, plus her human coltfriend, and later Lyra Heartstrings, and the four of them all got cozy with each other in ways no child should bear witness to.

And so, Spike was given a bedroom of his very own.

It was impossible to be a member of Twilight Sparkle’s family and NOT have some of her bibliophilia rub off on you. Spike’s personal bookshelf contained several reference guides to gemstones and minerals, books on dragon culture and dragon physicality, some young adult novels, a cookbook for gem recipes, a couple books on pony fashion, and many, many comics and graphic novels. Mostly superhero-themed.

Action figures and toys lined some of the shelves. Posters of superheroes, superhero teams, and a few recent movies adorned the walls. There were some family photos... and more than a few photographs simply of pre-Swap Rarity which Spike hadn’t had the heart to mail to Celestia’s vault. (Rarity, of course, saw Applejack in those old photographs instead of herself whenever she stepped into Spike’s room.)

“Okay, Spike, this BETTER be good.” Lero grumbled, entering in.

“Patience, patience!” The little dragon was pulling something out from a bottom drawer of his dresser: a small box full of medical supplies, then quickly stepped out and stepped back in with a bucket full of fresh cool water.

“First, I want you to dunk your burned hand in this water, and we’re going to let it soak for a while.”

A small bit of Lero’s anger reluctantly faded away as he sat, cross-legged, and dropped his red, blistered hand in. This was nice.

“So how DID you escape from the bathroom?” Spike asked, looking up at the human.

No remorse. No embarrassment. Fine.

“The window was open.”

“Oh. Now, we’ll give it a few minutes,” said the dragon, who also sat cross-legged. “I got an interesting story to tell you. I talked to Discord today.”

“Discord?!”

“Keep your hand in the water!” Spike urged him. And the dragon told him his story, about the letter to Celestia he wrote, about Applejack bringing him over to her house, about the realization he experienced while staring at her Diamond Mark, everything about Discord and ending with the moment Lero and Dash came to, and found Spike suddenly a few yards away from where he ought to’ve been.

“You idiot! Do you have ANY idea what you almost DID?! Discord’s NOT someone you try and push around!” Spike could tell even though Lero’s tone was angry and critical, there was a definite undercurrent of worry to his tone.

“Yeah, he made that very plain to me,” he said, lifting Lero’s hand out of the bucket, then setting the bucket off to the side. “He said he’ll get back at me for it at some point.”

Then from his box of medical supplies, Spike pulled out a squat-looking, blue-colored container. “This is burn ointment. Strongest stuff on the market. Now I’m usually in control of my fire,” Spike met Lero’s eyes with a little challenge, “so I haven’t had to unscrew this lid in years. Hope it hasn’t dried up or anything.”

He opened it. “Oh, good!” The dragon immediately been rubbing the gelatinous stuff all over Lero’s hand, careful not to scratch Lero with his claws. It smelled of aloe vera.

“You know, that’s another thing I worry about! Discord punishing you! I mean... the things he could do to you are far worse than anything I ever could! The possibilities are endless!”

Spike shrugged his shoulders, wiping the ointment off his own hands with a piece of paper. “Maybe he’ll turn me into a penguin. Maybe he’ll make my jaws and stomach as weak as yours so I can’t eat gems.”

“You sound very nonchalant about this!” Lero snapped. He was halfway sure he was being mocked.

“I choose to be nonchalant,” Spike said evenly. Now Lero was positive he was being mocked. “Besides, whatever magic Discord uses on me, I doubt it’s anything Twilight can’t fix. And we know he won’t do anything too bad that it’ll mess with Twilight finding the cure.”

Lero snorted and shook his head. “He doesn’t have to cast a spell on you, you know.”

Then Spike started wrapping a dry gauze bandage loosely around Lero’s hand. “Whatever. But when I told him that I wanted to be the one to bring equilibrium to Applejack... I was drop-dead serious about it. I want it so badly... it actually hurts a little.”

“Well, that’s noble of you,” Lero told him. “Maybe tomorrow or sometime, we could both go down to the Boutique and...”

“NO!” Spike shouted, standing up. “I said that I want to be the one to bring equilibrium to Applejack! Me and NOT you! There is no ‘we’ to this!”

Lero stood up too, showing how much he towered over him. “Spike, you listen to me...!”

“NO, YOU LISTEN TO... I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get angry and shout at you all over again.” Spike drew a long breath, and Lero heard him count to ten in a whisper before speaking again. “Look, I don’t want to be an ‘Angel Bunny’ to you, Lero. I know there’s been a lot of confusion in this house, but I want us to go back to being brothers. After seeing Applejack, things are a lot clearer to me now.”

“How are they clearer?” asked Lero, only vaguely aware of how soothing the ointment was feeling.

Spike looked over flatly at one of his pictures of Rarity with the correct cutie mark on her. “That mare... that unicorn with the rainbow cutie mark... she really ISN’T the girl I love, not underneath. All that’s left is her name and a few old mannerisms. Residue. No different than... than pouring blueberry juice into an empty milk jug without rinsing the jug out first. She really IS just Rainbow Dash repackaged... slightly milky blueberry juice. Simple as that.”

Lero fumed. His new love, residue? “It’s not as cut-and-dried as you think, Spike—”

“SIMPLE as THAT,” Spike repeated loudly. “Since Miss Rainbow-Thunderbolt Mark has always been YOUR marefriend, you’re free to do with her as you like, I guess. But Applejack? Applejack contains the TRUE soul of the girl I’ve always loved. I’ve just been way too sidetracked by, well... by the beauty of Rarity’s body up until now. In a way, I should almost thank you, Lero, for helping me face the truth.”

Spike picked the picture of Rarity up, holding it in his hand like a wounded bird. The picture showed Rarity at a side angle inside the Carousel Boutique’s showroom. The smile on her face was one of her pleasant, everyday sort of smiles.

“And so I’m going to be the one to bring equilibrium to her.” Spike vowed. “What you were to Rainbow Dash, I’m going to be to Applejack. I’ll visit her every day! I’ll help her in every way! And I WON’T EVER be some limp-wristed no-show like I was with Rainbow Dash. I’ll make up for that terrible mistake!”

Spike’s increasingly manic smile, coupled with the zealous gleam in his eyes unsettled Lero greatly.

“I’ll be the one to restore balance to the real Rarity’s heart, Lero... and when I do, she will LOVE ME for it! Just like Rainbow Dash loves you now!”

“‘Loves me now?!’” Lero bristled, while his heart rate sped up. “Rainbow Dash does NOT love me! Are you blind?! Didn’t you see how it went yesterday at her cottage?! Didn’t you see the butterflies still on her flank?!”

“Yeah,” said Spike. “But I ALSO saw how fiercely she came to your defense, buddy! And didn’t YOU see the way she looked into your eyes at the doorstep? I know that look well; it’s the same sort of look your girls give you!”

That horrible panic welled back up again inside him. “I didn’t see anything but a girl trying to be a friend!”

His voice must’ve come out a little too anxious, a little too quick, for Spike just smiled mockingly. “Then YOU’RE the blind one, Lero! Or maybe you’re just too much of a FRAIDY-CAT to see the love for what it is!”

Lero was just about ready to flip the brat over his knee and tan his purple scaly hide.

“...Or maybe I am wrong, and you are right,” Spike conceded with a sly smile that held no actual fear of Lero. He shrugged. “Doesn’t really matter anyways.”

The dragon began gathering all the medical supplies and putting them back in their box.

“Listen, Spike, about Applejack... I understand where you’re coming from, believe me, I do. I didn’t think about your feelings when I... was with Rarity last night, and I’m sorry. I truly hate myself for how that made you feel, for how I dismissed your feelings. But helping a Swapped Pony isn’t the sort of thing you can do entirely on your own!”

“Yeah?” Spike scoffed, slamming the medical supplies back in the drawer. “Pull the other one, Captain Equilibrium!”

“I couldn’t have fixed Pinkie Pie without help from Rarity, Big Macintosh, and Apple Bloom.” Lero reminded the dragon evenly. “With Rainbow Dash, EVERYONE was pitching in: me, Twilight, Lyra, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Apple Bloom! Even with Rarity... I talked about it with her, and she said what saved her were memories of all FOUR of us showing her kindness and love: you, me, Lyra, and Twilight!”

For one moment, Spike’s face registered uncertainty. Then it left. “Well... there’s always a first time for everything! I can and WILL fix Applejack all by myself!”

“Spike... I’m sorry, but for Applejack’s own good, I can’t let you do this. You’re gonna be doing this the wrong way and for the wrong reasons!”

Lero’s larger size had never intimidated Spike. Barely anything about the human ever did. Since Lero’s bare, fleshy skin was so very burnable, the dragon would’ve usually felt extremely confident about beating the human in a fight. Usually.

But today, Lero’s eyes blazed with ominous intensity. It actually scared Spike. His eyes said that if Spike were to set his whole body on fire, Lero would just ignore the agony and beat him to a pulp as a human torch.

“...It’s completely within your power to forbid me from seeing Applejack,” Spike admitted softly. “You’re the grownup and I’m the kid, after all. Whatever you tell me to do, I promise I’ll be a good boy and obey this time.” Then he fixed his own hard look upon the human. “But I’ll tell you something, Lero. If you take this away from me, if you take APPLEJACK away from me the way you took away Rarity... then I really will never forgive you for it. I will go on hating you until the day I die. Is that what you want?!”

Lero could have wept. The good relationship he had always had with Spike now teetered on a precipice.

Over the course of this mad catastrophe, Spike had been selfish and petty and childish in a lot of ways. But the kid had a heart, a good heart: and he was being traumatized by a huge psychological triple whammy. He’d decisively lost Rainbow Dash as a sister, and felt personally responsible. His fear of Lero making love to his dream girl had come horribly true. And now came this thing with Applejack. Realizing that he’d forgotten all about the ‘real Rarity’ inside Applejack — and permitting his beloved to suffer — that couldn’t have been easy for Spike to bear.

Lero would be stupid not to cut Spike some slack... allow the kid SOMETHING he could cling onto. The chance to redeem himself. The desperate hope of proving himself a hero to his sweet ladylove, and winning her heart. If not... well, Lero knew what it was like when family members bore lifelong grudges against each other. Aunts, uncles, and cousins of his had done that to each other: sons hating fathers, sisters not talking to brothers, year after year, until one or the other was shut in a coffin.

“You know... I think I can probably give Fluttershy my full attention for now.” Lero said, backing off. “At least until I’ve found equilibrium for her.”

“Yeah. Fluttershy. You do that,” said Spike.

Perhaps Spike just needed some time to calm down. Hopefully, by the time Lero DID help Fluttershy find equilibrium, his temper would’ve cooled enough to allow others to help him. If nothing else, Spike could be counted on to treat Applejack right, help her in every way he could, and not let her feel lonely.

“And in the meanwhile, you’re going without supper tonight!” Lero finished.

Spike shrugged, as though to say he could afford to go supper-less for one night.

“...AND you’re grounded until this...” He held up his hand. “Is fully healed!”

“Fair enough,” said Spike. “I suggest you show Twilight that hand as soon as she’s back home. We’ll both want that burn gone as soon as possible, huh?”

With that, Spike went over to his bookshelf and pulled out a book titled A Beginner’s Guide To Clothing by Ballpoint Needle. He hopped up on his bed and turned to the first page.

Author's Note

Kudos to SpinelStride and VelvetHeart for coming up with the some of the dress designs for Applejack in this chapter!

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