Equestrian Backpacker's

by Scribble_Ink

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 3287

When David end up in Equestria he meets Gray Mane, a fellow backpacker. This is their story about traveling through a land that is unlike any other.

When David end up in Equestria he meets Gray Mane, a fellow backpacker. This is their story about traveling through a land that is unlike any other.

Tags: Mature for references and possible clop in later chapters.
First storie by a dyslexic Swede, bracing for hate ^_^

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-19 18:10:01 UTC

1: David's not here man.

Looking at it now, David could only smile with sadness in his eyes. He stood at the end of a forest looking out over the sea, listening to the waves clashing against the rocky hills. With a sigh he leaned against a tree, crossing his arms and watched the sunset. The breeze felt cold, probably because the only thing he had left was a now very stained red t-shirt. Through his desperate and terrifying travels through the forest he had lost most of his possessions. After his first encounter with something he could only describe as “What in Jehovah name is that!” he had realized that his underwear and pants were no longer fit for human use. While washing them he had his encounter with the fearsome “You got to be kidding me!”  He had to leave his laundry behind and run. He was not going back for them. The shoes were a mystery and so were the socks. No matter how much he tried he couldn’t remember when he lost them.

‘My traveling money was in there’ he thought and looked at his now bare feet.

“20 dollars, 10 Euros, and 150 Yuan” he mumbled, not even considering that he had at least five times that in his pants.  The emergency travel fund was important damn it! He was clearly not in Spain anymore, it was too cold and he had encountered a “Darwin says you can’t exist!”

Sporting his Donald Duck wardrobe he glanced back at the forest, pondering the possibility of food or shelter. Logic told him that if he followed a coast line he would eventually hit civilization… if there was any. He had a hard time believing anything could survive the wildlife.

Since the sun was setting this had to be the west coast. He began traveling south in hope of warmth, with the lack of food his brain didn’t consider that he would be dead long before he found warmer lands. Growing up in a city he had little knowledge about survival in the untamed, but he did watch discovery channel that one time they weren’t building a bike. If he remembered right the human body could eat a certain amount of tree before it shut down. No, wait, that can’t be right…

The tree-eating speculation was cut short when he thought he saw something that wasn’t green in a shrub. Could it be? It was! Berries! Hopefully hallucogenic! He attacked the bush like a crazed vegan, devouvring the tiny sweet fruit. This was a blessing, surely he had found his primal instincts! Now nothing could stop him, he was a re-born survivalist! Special Forces would nod approvingly at his… and now he was thirsty. Damn.

That’s when it got weird. Weirder.

“Excuse me?” a masculine tone spoke behind him. That he had been found annoyed the world’s best survivalist, but the fact that he was squatting by a bush only wearing a t-shirt and red berries smeared around his mouth was devastating.

“Uhm, yeah?” he said with a nervous voice, staring straight ahead in hope to find pants.

“What, eh, how… you okay bro?”

It sounded like a stoner. Good, he had probably seen worse things.

David whipped his mouth with his t-shirt and turned around with a smile. That was not a stoner. That was not a human. These berries were hallucogenic.

A gray pony with wings and long deep blue mane hanging over his eyes hover just a couple of feet of the ground.

“I’m… fine. Thirsty but fine. Probably might die, but at least I’ll die high.”

The Pegasus inspected the monkey from top to tow. He didn’t look fine.

“Bro, you don’t look so good. You live near here or something?”

“No, I, eh… I’m lost.”

“Cool, cool. So… you want some water or something, like, juice?”

“That would be nice Mr. Flying pony. “

The Pegasus smiled a little and pointed south.

“There’s like a hostel down that way, they uhm… might be able to help.”

Should David trust his imaginary friend? Well, he was traveling south anyway. This might be his subconscious trying to save him.

“Thank you” he said in a neutral tone and started walking on unstable legs. He could see the Pegasus hovering behind him in the corner of his view.

“Name’s Gray Mane” he said, trying to carry on the conversation.

“Your mane is blue” David stated.

“Psha, I dye it! Gray mane and coat makes you look like, you know, a ghost.”

“So, Gray Mane, what brings you to my last moments, tripping on berries?”

“Don’t talk like that bro! You freaking me out!” he held his hooves over his ears.

“I’m freaking you out?”

“Yah!”

Clearly the monkey had some issues, you shouldn’t talk about death like that. Maybe he was delusional from dehydration.

“What’s your name bro?” Gray Mane asked in hope to change the subject.

“David Sherrings, soon to be corps.”

“David, don’t be such a downer.”

“I’m being realistic. I’m a city boy lost in a magical forest somewhere in Spain talking to an imaginary pony I summoned through hallucogenic berries. I’d say that’s a death sentence.”

Yeah, he’s dehydrated. Gray mane decided to hold further talk until he got some liquids and rest.

After half an hour’s awkward silence they arrived. There was a clearing in the woods where an old red house stood, fighting for its survival against the elements. The yard was overgrown and a rusted down wagon rested by the edge of the forest. David could see two more pegasi at the front of the house, but he was more interested in what they were doing then what they were.

“Is that… barbeque!?” David almost shouted.

“Yeah bro, but you need water first.”

This was true. When Gray Mane mentioned water David’s mouth began to feel like sandpaper. The trek wasn’t that long, but being chased through the woods an entire day without food was doing its part.

Gray mane waved a hoof at the other two and flew over while his unfortunate friend shuffled after like a zombie.

“Guys, can we get some water for David here, he’s kind of in a bad place.”

“He doesn’t want to admit that I’m dying” David rasped.

“Bro, to harsh, you’ll be fine!”

A bright yellow coated Pegasus with a red mane trotted over with a field canister in her mouth.  She watched the monkey as he was frozen in place, from what she could tell, deep in thought.

This was the moment of truth. He wanted the canister to be real, but everything pointed towards that this was a drug fueled dream. If he could grasp it and drink it, then this would be real. Then what? Wait, was he actually considering a forest full with monsters and talking ponies to be real? No, this was the end then. It had been a short and pointless life with student debts and lower middle class problems, which considering the state of the world wasn’t that bad.

With melancholy he reached out and grabbed the canister and brought it to his lips. Lemon. Oh divine cold water with a twist of lemon! This was real. Oh crap.

“My name is Sun Step!” The yellow mare said with a smile. Her enthusiasm and lack of distrust made her sound like a care bear.

“This… is real” was all he could say. Thousands of alternative theories rushed through his head, trying to rationalize the situation. Is this a coma dream? No, the pain and fatigue was all too real. Maybe the berries were really strong? No, he might be a city boy but even he can see that those were raspberries!

“I’m David.”

After a couple of grilled veggies and plenty of water David felt surer than ever that this was reality, but how? This was simply too bizarre! How did he get here? Could he go home?  Where was here?

David munched on the last grilled mushroom from his plate, glancing at the three pegasi around the table.

“Felling better bro?” Gray Mane said, shooting him a smile.

“Yah” he said, trying to hold back a burp. For some reason he had started to pick up Gray Manes speech pattern, given enough time with him he would most like be fluent in stoner.

“Cool, no more talk about dying, kay?”

David nodded, swallowing the last of his meal. He had never been big on vegetarian food, but right now it was the best thing since pants. He really had to get new pants.

“Oh, by the way, this is Dust!” Sun Step said and pointed at a dark gray mare with a long, flat black mane and for some reason slim, black sunglasses.

“Bonsoir” she spoke with a little too warm and breathy voice. Dust reminded him of a late night radio show he heard where the hostess had almost talked him to climax.

“She’s a drama student so she might get a little pretentious” said Sun Step and did a snooty face when she got to the word pretentious.

“Au contraire, I’m very casual and open! Sun Step simply doesn’t like when one is eloquent.”

Yep, he met her type before. She didn’t seem rude though, just a tad over the top.

Gray Mane coughed and looked at David.

“So bro, now that you feel better, mind if I ask… what are you?”

Fair question. David hadn’t thought that he was probably as weird to them as they were to him.

“I’m a tourist right now, planed at being a mechanic some day. But I guess ‘I’m a Human’ would be what you´re looking for.”

“Don’t think I heard about Humans before” said Sun Step while Gray Mane looked confused as he tasted the foreign word. Dust however looked like she found out that the Easter bunny was real.

“No way!?” she shout and removed her shades revealing a pair of purple eyes.

“You… heard about Humans?”

“Hell yeah! There is this crazy ‘Cult’ that call themselves ‘Order of the Hand’ back at school that talks about them!”

“They are not a cult.” Sun Step sighed.

“They are fans of this fantasy book series called ‘Call of Man’ and they play a game based on the series called ‘Order of the Hand’. And the characters are called ‘man’ if I’m not mistaken.”

“That’s just a more common word for humans.” Dust said annoyed.

Sun step smiled with narrowed eyes.

“Almost sound like you read the series? Didn’t you say such books were low-brow.”

“I haven’t read the books, my roommate was in to them. He was always talking about them. Wow, I wish I could show him David, he would flip!”

“Well, good to know I’m popular.” David mused.

“Yeah, if you were female he would probably have a stroke right there. I found some fan art while cleaning. It was kind of… risqué.”

That made Sun Trip turn dark red and Gray Mane nod approvingly.

“Colt’s got to dream bro, colt’s got to dream” the stallion mumbled.

“Look, I’m liberal and all, but I don’t want to pear in to the mind of those nerds.” Dust whimpered.

This discussion suddenly reminded David of the lack of clothes. The sun had already set and there was cold winds sweeping in from the sea, he could no longer ignore the elements.

“Hey, you have all been nice and thank you for the food and stuff, but I kind of lost my pants and stuff so… is there like any chance to get some clothes around here?”

“Hardly bro…” Gray Mane began.

“We are in the middle of nowhere” Sun Step continued.

“It’s like 300 miles to the nearest town” input Dust.

“Wait, how did you guys end up here?”

“We’re backpacker’s bro” said Gray Mane.

“Its summer bro, so we go backpacking all over Euqestria.”

“No way!” shout David, showing of the eight point chaos cross tattooed on his left breast. The three ponies watched confused, like they were trying to solve a complex equation. After half a minute embarrassing silence, Sun Step spoke up.

“Ok, I give up, what does it means?”

“Yeah, right, you probably don’t have that tradition here” David mumbled to himself.

“It’s a Chaos Cross, a tattoo passed from backpacker to backpacker, kind of like an initiation rite. It stands for freedom and stuff.”

“So, your special talent is to… be free?” Dust asked, tilting her head slightly.

This resulted in an almost hour long discussion about tattoos and cutie marks. David, now with a long skirt fashioned by a bed cover Dust had given him, got a long lecture about cutie marks from three different angles… simultaneously. Gray Mane’s cutie mark looked like a UFO, but he explained vibrantly that it was something called a hang drum. Apparently doing street performance was an excellent way to backpack when you were low on cash. Dust had, as expected, a masquerade mask showing her talent for acting. It took some time, but eventually Sun Step explained her mark. She had a sun dial, something that had given her parents high hope that she would somehow work with royalty.

“It turned out” she sighed “that I could tell the exact position of the sun without seeing it.”

David stared at her, trying to figure out what she meant and what use that could have.

“She’s a clock, bro” Gray laughed.

Sun Step did not look amused, this was the first time David had seen her frowning.

“Hey! It makes me feel connected to the world! Like I’m… controlling time or… you know!”

She was obviously offended and someone had to set this right.

“Look, I don’t even have a special talent!” David said hastily.

“And I can’t tell time. I suck at it, if I didn’t use an alarm clock I would be late for my own birth! Speaking of time, I’m about to pass out…”

The three ponies nodded, it was way too late to answer all the questions and despite the masterly craft skirt the human looked cold.

“Yeah, sleep sounds nice, we should leave before someone finds us.” Said Dust.

“Wait, I thought you said this was a hostel, Gray!?” David panicked.

“It kind of is, it’s a ‘don’t get caught by the land owner’ kind of hostel. The house is up for sale and has been for, like, ever! We heard about it from an other backpacker, as long as nopony finds out we can crash for free, bro!”

The ponies trotted in to the house with David walking slowly behind them, scouting for a deranged redneck with a shotgun ready to chase them out.

The inside of the house was a mess. No one had lived here for decades and there was dust and cobwebs everywhere. Most of the furniture that was still intact, but considering their age they would most likely break if anyone tried to use them. The quartet continued up the creaking stairs to an almost empty room. The only thing in there was three backpacks and a lantern.

The started to roll out sleeping pads right next to each other and then huddled up in a pile.

“Come on bro, there is room” said Gray.

David was used to cramped spaces during his travels, but this was a first for him. Was this some hippie thing?

“Why do you sleep in a pile?”

“For warmth and comfort” said Dust.

With some tactical maneuvers David managed to get in the pile, hoping this was some kind of orgy deal. He had to agree, this was comfortable and warm. Like plushy filled with warm water. David didn’t have time to think about it anymore, the fatigue from the day hit him like a sledge hammer and he was the first to fall asleep. A light snoring could be heard through the night.

“He is really hairless.” Sun mused.

“Yeah, it’s like sleeping with a leather couch filled with warm water.” Gray said.

As the first light streamed through the window, Sun Step was already up. She could only giggle lightly when she inspected her friends. Dust was sleeping with her back to the rest of them, hogging all the blankets. David and Gray were hugging each other like a child hugs her favorite stuffed animal. She knew she had to wake them if they were going to make the train on time, if only she had a camera.

“Time to get up guys” she said in a happy voice and pulled the blankets of Dust.

“Futility” Dust moaned stretching her hooves in all directions. She stayed in her Vitruvian Pony pose for a couple of seconds and the abruptly fell asleep.

“Come on! The train will be here in 43 and a half minute, and we can’t fly there with David!”

“It’s ok” David yawned “we can all ride on Fluffy Butter” he squeezed Gray tightly.

“Cool bro, because my legs kind of hurt” answered Gray.

They both opened their eyes, staring at each other through the morning haze.

“David, bro?”

“Fluffy Butter?”

Within 30 seconds they were all up and packing, putting the night and its shame behind them. They had to drag Dust down the stairs before she finally gave up and started to stumble after them. There was a bad taste of yesterday’s meal and dust in David’s mouth, and the smell of sweat around them all. This brought a smile to his lips. He should be freaking out, stranded in a place that couldn’t exist without a clue how to get home, but this was truly freedom. An entire world that he knew nothing about, and no technology that could shrink it to the palm of his hand. He always felt that he had been born too late, he should definitely been an explorer. Sure, he used a smart phone and GPS as much as any backpacker, but it always made the travel feel like a tourist package. This was what it was all about!

His smile vanished quickly though when they started walking along a gravel road. The lack of 200 dollar sneakers made his march extremely painful. By the time they got to the station he had lost all the feeling in his feet. He sat down on a bench and started rubbing them in hope to regain some feeling.

“Something wrong with your hooves, bro?” said gray.

“Not really used to go bare feet on gravel, lost my shoes in the woods.”

“No worries bro, we’re going to a town next, got a friend there that’s cool with us crashing. I can work you in to my act so we can make some extra bits for shoes and a new skirt.”

He had to agree that it sounded tempting, maybe trade the skirt for pants though, but what could he do as street performance?

“By the way” David started “Why is there a train station out here? I don’t see any houses around.”

“There are some farms around here, though most have moved south” said Dust.

“Apparently there has been some kind of magical turbulence here that made the wildlife hostile.” Added Sun Step. That could explain how David got here. No, wait, Magic!?

The sound of a steam whistle made him forget everything. It looked like it had come straight out of a fairytale. Exaggerated lines, colorful coaches and a long trail of steam spewing out of the chimney. The locomotive slowed down with a screeching sound until it stopped by the platform. David hadn’t felt this exited in a long time, watching this scene that should be lost in time.

Like an echo across the platform a voice shouted.

“All aboard! Next stop, Vanhoover!”