Equestria Dark: Tales of a New Appleloosan Stallion Water Salespony

Written by VelvetHeart

Windsnap fluttered her wings in frustration before forcing them back against her sides and the cool metal of her guard-armor. "Why are we guarding this place, Blitzkick?" she asked of her senior partner. "It's a nightclub, not the outer perimeter."

Blitzkick's response was a casual extension of her foreleg, before firmly slapping the back of Windsnap's helmet. "Idiot, didn't you read the sign?  It's stallions' night here. There's at least ten to twenty of our stallions in this building right now. I wouldn't vote for a mayor who didn't put effort into protecting the club on a night like this; even if there are no predators about, there's always some heat-crazed mare who tries to get in somehow. "

"Oh, right." Windsnap couldn't help but feel even more like a rookie than she did twenty minutes ago.

Approximately thirty-five minutes later, she opened her mouth again: "What do you suppose they do in there?"

"They talk about stallion things," Blitzkick calmly replied, expression stern as she scanned her surroundings. "They gossip about mares, their homelives, discuss things that they don't feel comfortable talking about around mares. That sort of thing. Maybe they dance a bit."

"Oh." Windsnap couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.

"And then they take out the tape-measure, and they have a penis-measuring contest."

"W-what?" Windsnap choked out as a sudden U-bend derailed her train of thought.

"So they all basically drop from their sheathes, and in turn, one of them holds the tape-measure along the whole length of the penis. They don't really win or lose at this stage, they just use the measurements to pair themselves up."

"Pair themselves up for what?" Windsnap turned her head to stare at Blitzkick's face, but the stern, straight expression showed no hint of deception.

"The fencing matches, of course. All the stallions try to find partners about equal to them in length, rear up on their hindlegs, and embrace. They then begin fencing and grinding their firming penises together. Of course they get all excited in the process. The one who orgasms last wins, so by the end, the floor and most of the stallions are covered in fresh sperm."

Windsnap's mouth fell open. Whatever she said, it came out vaguely more akin to a gurgle than intelligible words.

"And when they're all done, they start grooming each other, with their tongues, murmuring sweet nothings while they lick and kiss all over their fellow stallions' bodies. And, well, that's about it, really. Nothing special." Blitzkick carefully kept her face straight. Years of training and experience kept her from cracking even the faintest smile as conversation died down.

But she could well see the distant look in Windsnap's eyes, and that distinctive little sideways twitch of her tail no matter how she tried to stay still throughout the rest of the night.

Oh Celestia, it was such fun messing with the rookies!