Equestria Dark: Tales of a New Appleloosan Stallion Water Salespony

Written by VelvetHeart

"Now what's the button for... no, that wasn't it," Rumble mumbled to himself as the little mare on the screen, the one he assumed he was controlling, went into an impressive breakdance of spasms that sent other little mares running for cover.

"Hey, I killed one! Success!" Things were finally looking up for Rumble as, by sheer luck, his little mare-puppet-thing ran over another with a chariot, flattening it into paste.

Rumble's cheer was quickly flattened by a barrage of angry voices over the headset: "Teamkiller!"

"That's one of ours!" "What a total noob!"

Quickly fumbling for the headset, he finally (for the first time) managed to find the button that would open the microphone he'd awkwardly stretched out to its limits in order to fit around his outgrown snout; "Ah, sorry, sorry! It's my first time, I don't really know how to play this yet. I'm on my sister's computer."

There was a moment of stunned silence that stood for all of three seconds before being breached like a badly-maintained dam. "You're a stallion?!" "Yeah right, nice trick!" "Drop dick or get the hay out!" "I'm gonna rape you so hard your cock's gonna fall off!" "You want some pussy, don't you, stud? You're a total stud!" "Send me pictures!" "You're probably totally ugly."

Windwhistler just caught Rumble stomping out of her room in a half-teary huff. Her little stallion brother quickly rushed back to his room, but not before imparting his new discovery upon his older sister.

"Your online friends are cunts."