Little loony Luna and crazy caffeinated Celestia's life in Canterlotby VidhwansakChaptersI don't like apples, Tia!Bananas are disgusting, Lulu!You can't be serious, Tia!I need my coffee, Lulu!This is the best day ever, Tia!Don't DO that, Lulu!An uneasy compromise, Tia!Invite me next time, Lulu!You have weird nightmares, Tia!Let's do it, Lulu!I don't even know, Tia!STOP SINGING, LULU!I will defeat you, Tia!Your words wound me, Lulu!Third pony is fun, Tia!Heck no, Lulu!Shining Armor is weirder, Lulu!I am not, Tia!Ha Ha, very funny, Lulu!This is art, Tia!I'm bad at golf, Lulu!Two is one too many, Tia!Too much bubble wrap, Lulu!You destroyed my vegetable garden, Tia!Wear this tutu, Lulu!This is wrong, Tia!I had a weird dream, Tia!Don't eat that, Lulu!OUR little ponies, Tia!Blueblood isn't insane, Lulu!I'll send you to the sun, Tia!My beautiful room is back, Lulu!S-Stop it, Tia!This is Chrysalis, Lulu!I never knew, Tia!Move over, Lulu!Eat my noise cannon, Tia!Okay, now that's just rude, Lulu!Stop drinking so much coffee, Tia!This is unacceptable, Lulu!I can't describe it, Lulu!No way, Tia!Would I ever, Tia!That was meant for you, Lulu!I don't think this was part of your plan, Tia!I have to eat that cake, Lulu!Thankfully, I already don't remember this, Tia!I'll blast it down, Lulu!Happy hearth's warming eve, Tia!I miss her, Lulu!That's nice, Lulu!Chrysalis is my enemy, Tia!Just stop, Lulu!This is why we have problems, Tia!Your music is rage inducing, Lulu!I think we broke her, Tia!Oh, back off, Lulu!Get shipped, Tia!I-I didn't say that, Lulu!T-That wasn't necessary, Tia!She's really grumpy, Lulu!You know it, Tia!Let's defeat her, Lulu!Stop laughing, Tia!I hope you enjoy it, Lulu!You're a cheater, Tia!No, wait, stop, Lulu!She's sleeping, Lulu!I want it MY way, Tia!I don't have time for this, Lulu!Yes, and big explosions, Tia! (Colgate Arc)Share, Lulu!I'm not sick, Tia!It's the end, Lulu!That's about it, Tia! (Colgate Arc)That's a terrible choice, Lulu!Na-ah, Tia!I thought it was safe, Lulu!I made a promise, Tia! (Colgate Arc)This is embarrassing, Lulu!Ew, ew, ew, Tia!Turn it DOWN, Lulu!I've fulfilled that promise, Tia! (Colgate Arc)Give me my noodles, Lulu!My accent is fake, Tia!The sea is terrible, Lulu!I need marshmallows, Tia!It was a mean but funny prank, Tia!I feel something, Lulu!Explain this to me, Tia! (End of Colgate Arc)Sure, Lulu!Meet Trixie, Tia!Let's break it, Lulu!You got incoming, Tia! (Cupcake assault on the castle Arc)It's nothing to worry about, Lulu!I'll take you on, Tia!I quit, Lulu!I can't sleep, Tia!The floor is too cold, Lulu!Cadence is weird, Tia!It's not what it looks like, Lulu!It all worked out in the end, Tia!I can imagine it now, Lulu!Don't drink Manticore, Tia!Things got weird, Tia! (Colgate Arc)That's my pocky, Lulu!I don't like apples, Tia!I don't like apples, Tia! Luna stared at the monstrosity that was in front of her; this was worse than Tirek, worse then Discord, to heck with it all, this was even worse than her sister's morning breath, and that was really, really bad. Said monstrosity was on her plate, and her sister was looking across from her, patiently waiting for her to eat it, of all things. Torture had never looked so innocent, and it made Luna sick to her stomach merely by looking at it; she couldn't think of what would happen to her if she actually ate it. Her sister spoke up quietly, with a slight frown on her face. "They aren't going to eat themselves, Lulu." "We...I wish they were able to, Tia, for I will not eat them!" "Do you still harbor feelings of resentment towards ap-" "SAY NOT THE NAME, SAY NOT THE NAME, BY FAUST'S HOLY-" "...ples." Her sister gasped mid rant, and glared at her sister with the intensity and coldness of a thousand moons, which was to say, quite an icy glare. Celestia nervously chuckled, and wondered just how much time she had left in this world before Luna banished her to the sun; at least it was warmer than the stare Luna was giving her now. "Now now, Luna, it's the only thing you haven't eaten..." "And I will not eat them, to tartarus they should go!" "...But the chefs prepared this dish with great care, and it was made especially for you!" "Especially? Especially? Are you trying to hire chefs with the goal in mind to poison us...me?!" "Luna, for Faust's sake, just look at them and tell me that there's something wrong with them, because I can't!" "There's plenty enough wrong with them, your eyes are simply betraying you!" "There is nothing wrong with sliced, crisp apples! Look at the plate again and tell me what's wrong with it!" Grumbling, Luna stuck her tongue out at her sister before looking down at the abomination that she swore that she would never eat again as long as she lived; they were sliced perfectly, had a slight glean due to the light from a chandelier from up above lighting up its surface, and if one had a good enough eye, could see the little sprinkles of cinnamon that graced upon its surface, as well as a caramel dipping sauce that complimented the whole dish, if one could call it that. It might have looked very appealing to any other pony, but to Luna, it was an unclean substance that must be purged in a complicated ritual, thrown off a mountain, purged again in another ritual, and then sent to the sun to burn, after which any remains would be thrown into a black hole to rot for an eternity, in which she would then destroy said black hole.. "...They are...Nnngh...App-les, Tia." It took much effort on her part to say the dreaded word, and she hoped that Celestia would buy her explanation, but unfortunately, all Celestia did was facehoof in despair. "Yes, Lulu, they are apples; they look quite delicious, as well." "Only because you and every other pony are sadistic enough to enjoy inflicting pain on yourselves with such a disgusting 'food' item! By Faust, how could you even look at these things, never mind eating them?!" "Well, they're sweet..." "A ruse, a concealment, deceiving you to their true nature!" "...Crunchy..." "That is not what a fruit should be like!" "...It comes in all shapes and sizes?" "There are too many of these abominations and I intend to eradicate them all!" Celestia sighed, and stood up from her chair; Luna followed suit, and both sisters stared at each other first, each daring each other to make the first move. As it was, Celestia made her move first, a faint smirk on her lips. "We shall have a guest here shortly; I knew you would have this problem, even after all these years, so I called in an expert to help you get over your fear of apples." "Oh, please, I do not fear apples, I merely hate them, and sister, I doubt as if anypony could convince me to eat those things you call food. I am like an iron wall, unwilling to break!" "You'd be surprised, the expert I called in was more than willing to show you just how good apples can be, and she can be very forceful when she needs to be; she's also one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony." "Is that so? Well, who is this so called 'expert' that you think can convince me to eat these?" "Her name is Applejack." "A-Ap...App..." Luna couldn't form a word after hearing what the pony's name was; ponies named themselves after the spawn of Discord?! This was an outrage and a truly terrible thing to befall on anypony! She would not wish such a curse upon anypony! Celestia's smirk only grew wider, into a very big grin that Luna only knew all too well, and she was afraid at what she was going to say next. "The best part is? Most of her family is named after apples as well." THUNK. The sound of Luna fainting and hitting the floor caused Celestia to giggle softly before ringing a bell three times. As soon as the third ring was heard, the room was full of servants, and most of their eyes were trained on Celestia; a few of the younger servants stared at Luna's body before snapping their gaze up to Celestia, who spoke with barely contained mirth in her voice. "Revive Luna; I believe that the smell of apples does the trick; be sure to use lots of it!" Afterwards, Luna formed an anti-apple group that wanted to destroy all the apples in Equestria, only to meet heavy opposition from Celestia and apple farmers across Equestria; later, the group would be locked in a struggle against Celestia's own group that wished to inflict harm upon the banana plantations, and they are still fighting to this day. Author's Note You tell Luna what apples are good for, AJ! Bananas are disgusting, Lulu!I'm not fat, Lulu! There are those moments in time where you just feel sorry for whatever was going to happen next to that poor pony who had just happened to say or do the wrong thing; one of those times was now, and while you might have wanted to see what would happen to said pony, sometimes, it's just much, much better for your health to leave the scene quickly, as every pony except two quickly got the concept of. Guards quietly ushered out servants and a few aristocrats, and all glanced fearfully back at the only two ponies that were soon going to be left in the room; Princess Celestia and Luna. Nopony wanted to get caught in the crossfire, so the dining hall was evacuated quite abruptly, leaving only the two together. Neither princess noticed this, and if they did, they didn't acknowledge it. Celestia frowned as she glared at Luna, who was on the opposite side of the table that they were sitting at, and she wilted underneath the tremendous weight of Celestia's eyes; this was one grave she dug that was too far for her to climb up out of. Being sisters, they, of course, liked to tease one another, that was just natural. Sometimes, teasing goes a little too far, and one of them got mad; that too, was natural, and they would often make it up to one another with subtle little gifts and hugs. This time, though, Luna went too far; she told her sister to eat the one thing that she wouldn't ever eat, and that made Celestia, very, very angry. "What did you just tell me to eat, Lulu?" "I-It was something that slipped my mind! I won't do the s-same mistake again! W-We...I promise not to say it again!" "Well, I do believe that I didn't hear you correctly the first time, Lulu, so say it again." With no response from her fearful sister, Celestia growled, and got up from her chair, clearly ticked off; she leaned in slightly, and spoke softly, a sign that things were only about to get worse for Luna if she didn't comply. "Say it. Again." Still not wanting to respond to her sister, she attempted to change the topic of discussion, even though it wasn't likely to succeed. Still, it was worth a shot. "...Tia...H-have you noticed how beautiful the s-sun is toda-." "OUT WITH IT LULU!" "BANANAS! I TOLD YOU TO EAT A BANANA, SISTER!" A silence reigned over the table as both alicorns stared at each other, one in fear, and the other in anger; both knew that this wouldn't end well, but Luna nevertheless tried to find a way to vent her sister's anger; it was either that, or endure one of Celestia's punishments, and Celestia was very, very through in her punishments. "N-Now Celestia...It's just a yellow fru-" She cut off as her sister somehow strode across the entire length of the dining table in a few seconds to stuff a hoof in her mouth and looked around wildly; fortunately, or unfortunately, in Luna's case, there were no other ponies around. Giving a sigh of relief, Celestia popped her hoof out from an indignant Luna's mouth, and spoke up quietly. "That 'thing' is not a 'fruit' Luna, and I don't want you to even refer to 'it' as such! 'It' is an abomination on this land-" "Oh, so bananas are yet those...'Things' you call 'apples' are?!" "That's different! Apples are actually good for you!" "If you're going to argue that, so are bananas!" "They are not!" "Are too!" "Are not!" "Are-" "NO." Celestia waved an apple core up in front of Luna's face, and as a result from that course of action, Luna fainted; Celestia placed the apple down, and turned around to look at her plate. This plate was scrubbed clean of all other foods, except for one, and it seemed like it was staring back at her. Oh, how she hated that so called food item that dared call itself a 'fruit', with its unnatural yellow color, the few black spots scattered across its surface in an obvious show of how corrupted it was, and the dastardly way it was shaped all led to the conclusion that it was nothing less than pure, 'edible' evil. It seemed to glare right back at her, and she returned the favor by glaring right back at it with the intensity of a thousand suns. Said action caused the banana to melt...And the plate, and part of the table as well. Celestia realized she was putting her stare on a little too thickly once she realized that she could smell the tell tale sign of wood burning, specifically, the table. Panicking, she stopped glaring at the spot where the banana once was to douse the burning table, grumbling as she saw the results from conjuring water to prevent the table from becoming anything more than a hunk of firewood; thankfully, her sister wasn't harmed by the fire, as she was slumped over on the other side. That was when another smell hit her; a smell that was worse than anything her nose ever had the 'grace' to smell before... That smell was of an overly fried, crispy, burnt banana, and unfortunately for Celestia, there was no gas mask for her nearby to escape the nauseating stench; she began to feel woozy, and her brain slowly started to shut itself down. She, too, fainted, alongside Luna. Ponies from then after that event learned to never mention bananas in front of Celestia, should they incur her wrath for all things yellow and curvy that dared called itself a fruit; there was even a group of ponies formed afterwards to abolish bananas completely, or at the very least, remove their standing as 'fruit' and replace it with 'evil inedible spawn of Tirek', and the group almost got funded by Celestia until Luna stopped her and complained about the status of apples; the two groups are currently locked in a stalemate without any true backing from each princess. You can't be serious, Tia!You can't be serious, Tia! It began like any other day in the castle; the two sisters bickering with each other as they passed each other, various bills and favors that a few ponies wished for her to look over, and of course, her own free time in between those activities, the majority of it spent eating moon pies and preparing for the one moment that she was looking eagerly to; tea time with her sister, for the first time in a thousand years. It was a long standing, unspoken tradition between the two to have tea time together during certain days, and Celestia had continued to honor that tradition even when her sister was banished to the moon, which deeply touched Luna's heart; she expected Celestia to stop drinking what she called 'liquid chaos' and hope that Luna forgot that tea ever existed in the first place. Ha! No such luck for Celestia. Although her sister quite frankly hated tea and only really enjoyed the refreshments that came with the tea, Luna adored the beverage; there was just something about a brewed, herbal drink that calmed her nerves and made her feel energized for the rest of the day, or night, in her case. It was a pity that her sister was far more interested in the crumpets and cake that accompanied the tea, but at least Luna got most of the tea to herself, which was fine by her. Humming a little tune from years bygone and with most of the words forgotten, she strode into the royal gardens, and began to navigate through them; while it was true that she could fly up and more easily locate her sister, it was agreed a long time ago that it would have most likely have drawn unwanted attention to them, which would have more than likely disrupted their sacred ritual of Celestia scarfing down all the cakes and crumpets while Luna drained the entire pot of tea in one go. Ah, good times, good times. Her instincts told her to go around a bed of lilies, straight for a few minutes, and then to squeeze through a particularly narrow entrance to a side-area that was hidden quite cleverly behind an unassuming willow tree. She followed the instructions exactly as her instincts had told her, and lo and behold, was Celestia with her regalia placed in a nice, tidy pile slightly aways from the table placed in the middle of the small side-area, made to accommodate two alicorns. Grinning, Luna strode forward, levitating her own regalia off slowly and settling them down next to Celestia's pile before joining her sister at the table. "It's about time you got here, Lulu, I was afraid of starting tea time without you!" "Ha, as if! You need us...Me to drink all the tea for you, Tia!" Celestia was about to reply to her sister, only to get cut off as Luna continued on, not noticing that her sister wanted to speak. "In any case, I hope you remembered my favorite kind of tea, Tia!" At this, Celestia nodded slowly, with a faint smirk on her lips. "Yes, of course, the teapot is full of white peony, Lulu." At this, Luna pumped a hoof into the air, and immediately began to pour herself a cup of the tea she had missed so, so badly. As she began to drink the revered tea slowly, wanting to savor it, Celestia began to pour herself some of the tea into a cup of her own, and started her own drinking, although it was at a much slower pace than her sister's. As Luna finished her first cup, she noticed that Celestia actually seemed to be enjoying the tea; then again, it was probably just out of politeness; after all, this was their first tea break in a long, long time, but she missed any of her sister's usual comments about the tea tasting like vile, rotten bananas. She reached forward for a cookie, fully expecting her sister to slap her hoof and declare that the cookie was hers, but oddly enough, she merely watched Luna with amusement twinkling in her eyes. Confused and suspicious, Luna brought the cookie to her mouth, and bit off half a mouthful from it, chewing slowly as her sister continued to nurse her cup of tea. Strangely enough, the cookie tasted just fine, but most troublesome of all, her sister did not challenge her for it! As she thought about what this strange phenomenon could mean, Celestia levitated the teapot towards her, and to Luna's surprise and horror... Poured herself another cup of tea. "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR SISTER?!" Celestia groaned as her teacup shattered, and she levitated up another tea cup while glaring at her sister in a way that made Luna wilt slightly from the intensity of said glare. "Things change over a thousand years, Luna, I thought that would have been obvious enough." This was...New. Something she had never expected to happen did indeed happen, and she didn't know if she needed to be scared or not because of this strange new development; Celestia, drinking more than one cup of tea? What was this madness?! "You...Truly enjoy tea now?" "At first I hated it, but over time, because I have kept up this tradition of ours, I suppose I have gained a tolerance and a slight affection for the beverage, yes." "Do you...Still harbor as much greed for refreshments?" At this, Celestia's eyes narrowed slightly. "I am willing to share a few, sister, but you have another thing coming if you think I'll willingly part with many of them." "...You can't be serious, Tia!" "I truly am, Lulu." After figuring out that her sister truly did seem to have a fond side for tea, Luna poured herself another cup of tea, deciding to accept this new development, and the two enjoyed a relatively peaceful afternoon in each other's company. Author's Note Princess Celestia likes tea, really? I need my coffee, Lulu!I need my coffee, Lulu! Whenever a pony asks about what made Celestia's day, there are three things that she always responded to such a pony that asked the question to her; those three things were the simple pleasure of raising the sun, of watching her little ponies happily live their life in Equestria, and coffee. When asked about the last item, she stated that she was just like anypony else; that she got tired and lacking energy in the morning, and needed a cup of coffee to help her, much like most working ponies today. Unfortunately for Celestia, today was one of those days where she needed a cup of coffee, and today was not being kind to her, if the soreness in her body was any indication of that. Playing extreme, hardcore, on the ceiling while eating marshmallows and running backwards tag with Luna late at night was not something she would recommend to anypony anytime soon. She groaned as she got of her bed, onto her newly carpeted floor (She managed an inward squeal of joy before the pain in her hooves squelched that feeling), and walked over to the private bathroom that was located a little to the left of her bed; she did need to wash up and brush her teeth just like any other pony, after all. Stepping inside of her shower, she turned one of the knobs that was underneath the shower spout, and immediately afterwards, a warm stream of water made its way from the shower spout, flowing down freely until it splashed upon her body. She allowed herself to bask in the warm water for a moment before sluggishly enveloping a bar of soap with her magic, rubbing it across a brush roughly for awhile, and then rubbing said brush across her back. The routine changed slightly as she moved the brush across the rest of her body just as slowly, pausing only to reapply more soap upon the brush. When she felt satisfied with brushing herself, she set the brush down, and grabbed a bottle, squeezing a generous portion of some extremely rich shampoo into her mane; when the amount she wanted was reached, she began to massage her scalp and mane gently. The shampoo easily breathed life into her mane, and just felt like heaven to run through her mane. However, it did not last long against the onslaught of warm water, and once all the shampoo was washed away, she began to wash her tail with that same shampoo, caressing it gently and giving it the same careful care that she gave her mane. Once she had finished washing herself and performing a quick-dry spell (One of the benefits of being the solar princess!), she set on the tedious task of brushing her teeth. Dental hygiene was one of those necessary evils that she had learned to live with, and with her tendency to eat lots of cake at any given time, it was important that she brushed her teeth twice as well, for cakes had too much ooey, gooey sweetness in them, which were bad for her teeth! That didn't mean she couldn't enjoy it, however; there was just something about those firm bristles and minty paste that made her take pleasure in the simple action of brushing her teeth. After the vigorous brushing workout her teeth went through, she went to the kitchens to receive the final part of her morning ritual for slow, groggy mornings like these; her cup of joe, maybe even multiple cups, if she felt so inclined. She strode down the final hallway, which was populated only with either silent, vigilant and boring guards, or with servants that rushed to bow at her feet and inquire if she had any needs to attend to. She gently shooed the servants away, not wanting to bother them with her simple request, and strode the rest of the way down the hallway quickly to enter the kitchens before anypony else stopped to ask her more things; coffee now, ponies later. As she entered the kitchens, she took in a deep, appreciative sniff of the wonderful aroma in the air, and smiled at the ponies that were working hard to provide food for the entire castle; they didn't stop to bow to the princess, busy with their work as they were, and she appreciated the dedication her kitchen staff had. Despite the amazing smells that were killing her nose and sending it to heaven right now, she had only one destination in mind, and that was to meet the castle's coffee maker, Coffee Joe, brother to Donut Joe and a pony that could make a mean cup of coffee. "Ah, Coffee Joe, it's nice to see you, as always!" The stallion she was addressing jumped, and turned around, startled by the princess sneaking up on him. Upon seeing her, however, a wide smile was on his face, and he offered a hoof to the princess, which was immediately taken and shook. "Well, Princess Celestia! Here for your morning cup of coffee, I assume?" Celestia nodded, looking around for the telltale sign of fresh coffee, which, oddly enough, was absent this morning. "Of course! I just can't help myself from drinking the splendid coffee you manage to brew here, Coffee. Speaking of which, may I have a cup?" To her amazement, the stallion shook his head, and looked regretfully out towards the storage room, where his coffee beans were located (And which some of them by now should have been blended to create smooth, rich coffee). "...I'm sorry, princess, but there's no coffee this morning for you." Celestia assumed that he was joking, and giggled softly; when he didn't join in with her, the giggling died out, and from the look he was giving her, she suddenly realized that what he was saying was true. "Wha...What?! You usually brew more than enough coffee for me and the whole castle! We even have to dump out excess coffee at the end of the day because it goes bad!" "Well, yes, we would have more than enough coffee, but that was before we found a note that said that some pony tried some of the coffee here last night, and was so disgusted by the flavor of it that she had went ahead and got rid of all our coffee bean supply; I trust her judgement, though, as much as I dislike it. There's not much you can say or do about it when the pony is a high ranking official. Oh, and the fact that this all happened last night when we were all sleeping." Celestia sighed, and began to walk out of the kitchens, the tempting smells of baking pies, pastries being assembled, and fresh fruit being cut open suddenly muted by the fact that she was not going to be drinking any coffee today. Darn health inspectors! In the middle of the night, as well! Coffee Joe followed the princess outside, and smiled at her. "Don't worry, princess, I'm sure we'll have some more coffee later, once we run it by her." "I hope that's true, Coffee. Speaking of which, may I have the name of the health inspector that decided to throw away all my coffee away? I'm curious as to why they did not bring it up with me first." Coffee Joe had a confused look on his face, and frowned slightly at Celestia. "Health inspector? There was no health inspector, what are you talking about?" "...The note from the pony that had all my coffee beans removed wasn't a health inspector?" "No, it was written by Princess Luna." Celestia was suddenly taken to a flashback of an exhausted Luna and Celestia giving each other a hug before parting, with the lunar princess stating that she would be going down to the kitchens to get something to drink. The only thing that was left in the kitchen at night that was readily drinkable was coffee, a drink brewed from beans which was introduced some three hundred years after Luna's banishment. Celestia had recommended coffee for Luna; unfortunately, she had neglected to tell her to brew a new batch of coffee in a pot because old, stale, leftover coffee was the most rancid, nastiest thing on this side of Equestria, and if she remembered correctly, there was one pot of coffee left in the kitchens that evening that wasn't thrown out because one of her ponies actually liked it that way (Blueblood had some weird tastes), which probably meant that Luna had drunk the coffee from that pot, and... If there was any place that Coffee Joe suddenly did not want to be at most of all, it was right in front of Princess Celestia, who had a subtle twitch of her eyes, and her teeth were slightly bared; he really did not like the look on her face, and he had a sudden urge to ran back to his room, lock the doors, close the blinds, and cry underneath his bed. "Princess...Celestia?" He dared breathe; he was then treated to the sight of Celestia running down the hallway in an undignified manner, screaming at the top of her lungs. "LULU, I SWEAR TO FAUST, I WILL END YOU! I NEED MY COFFEE, LULU!" Author's Note I think I spent too much time detailing Celestia taking care of herself rather than her actual need for coffee This is the best day ever, Tia!This is the best day ever, Tia! Luna hummed quietly to herself as she munched on a moon pie slowly while following her sister; apparently, there was a pony that Celestia had wanted her to meet today, and that she would be surprised by her. Luna doubted that; while there were certainly many new things that modern society now had, nothing had surprised her thus far. Although, yes, there were new inventions, they looked oddly similar to a few tools a thousand years ago, and were horribly complicated. At least some things were kept simple, like collectable, sweet, marshmallow, caramel drizzled and deep fried windup robot pony toys that looked like horribly discolored versions of Celestia. Oh, and moon pies. She took a moment to swallow the chewed mouthful of the moon pie in her mouth, enjoying and savoring the sweet flavor it left in her mouth before complaining at Celestia, as she often did when she was bored. "Tia, how much further is it to this pony? I want to go back to my beautiful, sweet moon pies!" Her complaint was met with a slightly annoyed tone from her sister. "It won't be for much longer, Lulu; you are so impatient, it drives me nuts sometimes!" "Well, I'm sorry, Tia! It's not entirely my fault, however; you literally dragged me out of the kitchen while barely explaining yourself!" Indeed, she was just about to pounce upon her moon pie filled refrigerator when her sister had showed up, insisting that she come along with her to meet somepony; fortunately, Luna had managed to secure one moon pie in her grasp before being dragged out of the kitchen, and she was eating said moon pie right now. She wondered if there were portable refrigerators that one could carry around for easy access to moon pies. "It's important for you to go out and meet other ponies, no matter how rude or...Or 'bad' they seem! You've had enough moon pies anyway, Lulu. I want you to not spend all your time in the kitchens; specifically, your moon pie storage!" An indignant Luna responded in the only way she knew how; with a high pitched, annoying tone that infuriated Celestia to no end when they were much younger. "BUT TIAAAAAAAAA-" "Inside voice, Lulu! Don't remind me about your whining. Besides, I think you'll be happy to see this pony! She takes after us, you know." "Oh, Faust...If she's anything like Blueblood, Tia, I don't think I want to meet her, sorry." Meeting their nephew was a rather...'Interesting' experience for Luna; that was the tamest word she could think of when she met him. He was certainly a bit different when it came to personal tastes (He actually liked that abomination that was coffee? Especially when it was cold?! Gross!), and was one of the most spoiled unicorns that lived in Canterlot. Unfortunately, she was just going to learn to have to deal with him, a prospect that she was not looking forward to. "Thankfully, Lulu, she's not anything like Blueblood, so you don't have to worry about that." Those words prompted a grateful sigh from her sister before she spoke again. "Then what do you mean when she takes after us, sister?" "You'll find out soon enough, Lulu." As if on cue, a pink blur jumped out (Or, more accurately, fell on top of) Celestia, which immediately caused Celestia's knees to buckle from the sudden weight of another on top of her. "Oof!" Fortunately for Celestia, Luna was taking precautionary measures, and had slipped back into her old way of speaking. "WORRY NOT, TIA, THINE ASSASSIN OF THOU SHALL NOT SMITE THEE!" Luna had reared up on her hind legs, and adopted a ridiculous fighting stance that required her to balance on her hind legs, commonly exaggerated in most action movies today (Celestia afterwards would put a severe limit on the amount of extremely cheesy action movies Luna would then be able to watch, upon seeing Luna's hilariously bad pose, much to Luna's dismay), and assessed the situation in front of her; more specifically, who this pony was that dared to attempt to assassinate her sister. The pink blur was a pony, a unicorn that also happened to have...Wings? Confused, Luna watched as the pink blur giggled, and got off of Celestia, who groaned as she shakily got back up on her hooves. "Who is this, Tia?" Her question went unanswered as Celestia took a long, long look at Luna, then she facehoofed before she addressed the pink alicorn instead of her sister. "Honestly, Cadence, can you not do that?" "Party pooper, it was all in good fun, auntie Celestia!" This 'Cadence' stuck her tongue out at Celestia, and at once, Luna felt a kinship with this alicorn; finally, a pony that wasn't afraid of Celestia and dared to tease her! She imagined the both of them preparing the greatest pranks Equestria had ever seen together; oh, the pranks would be glorious indeed, especially since they were both alicorns! Luna was lost in her own world for the briefest of moments before her mind caught up with the present, and she gracefully landed back on her front hooves, offering a smile and hoof towards 'Cadence' in a friendly manner. "Hello, Cadence." The reaction she got from the simple introduction was a near bone-crushing hug, followed by loud exclamations of joy, most of which flew over her head, but she did manage to hear the pink alicorn excitedly scream her mother's name while crushing her spine; she could certainly feel something pop and crack. "OH MY FAUST OH MY FAUST AUNTIE LUNA IT'S YOU IT'S YOU! IT'S YOU!" "H-H...Hi...C-Cad...Ence..." It was getting really hard to breathe, and why was there a light in her vision that seemed to be getting closer to her? "We have sooooooooo much to catch up on! I thought you were just a legend, but no, auntie Celestia said you were real and you are you are you are!" Fortunately, for Luna's health, Celestia coughed politely, and spoke in a firm voice. "Mi Amore Cadenza!" Cadance looked up at Celestia, and slightly loosened the hug, causing the light that Luna was seeing to fade away slightly, but it was still there. "Yes, auntie Celestia? "I think you're crushing Luna." "I am? Oh, Faust, I am! I'm so sorry, auntie Luna!" With that, Cadence let go of Luna, who fell to the floor with a groan; alicorn strength hurt, even amongst other alicorns. At least the light wasn't there anymore. "W-When did...We get another sister, Tia?" "She's our niece, Lulu. Mother came by to me one night, holding a little alicorn foal in her hooves; she told me that her name was Mi Amore Cadenza, and that she came from father's side of the family. She wanted me to take care of Cadence until she was old enough to leave, but Cadence decided that she wanted to stay here, instead of ruling her own world like us; so, shes been with me for awhile now, and is now a young adult in alicorn terms!" "Hmm...Ow...Interesting." As Luna tried to get some resemblance of feeling back in her body by flapping her hooves around wildly like a duck flaps its wings when startled, Cadence leaned down, and whispered into her ear. "I've read in a couple of books that auntie Celestia gave me that you like to prank auntie Celestia; there are also accounts of you being the master of pranks, auntie Luna, you have limitless years of experience at doing it...Can I come along and learn from the best, auntie Luna?" No pony knew why Luna shouted with such force that it shook the very foundations of the castle, nor why Luna and Cadence would perform mischievous winks and nudges at each other from then on, but one thing was for certain; Luna yelled very, very loud. "THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER, TIA!" Author's Note Enter Cadence, alicorn of bone crushing hugs I'm considering her to be another main character but the title is long enough already and I don't know what to call Cadence anyway Maybe 'Crushy clutchy Cadence' Don't DO that, Lulu!Don't DO that, Lulu! Celestia had many happy memories with her sister; the most memorable of those were the times where they would get into food fights with one another over extremely petty reasons (Such as which sister had more chocolate, and Celestia won most of these food fights), quite a few memories of reading some of the very first books to Luna when she was the equivalent of a small filly, and even a memory or two of tucking Luna into bed. Now those were the good memories, and she was often reminiscing the good old days whenever she had some time alone. However, with those good memories also came bad ones; ones that Celestia did not like to reflect on, yet did anyway, almost as often as she would her good memories. These memories mostly consisted of Discord, though they didn't faze her much, as Discord didn't actually harm anypony directly; no, the memories that did bother her the most were the ones of her sister before her fall to Nightmare Moon; everyday, at some point in the day, she would find herself looking up at the general direction of the moon, and wondering if she could have had stopped her sister in another way that didn't end up in her banishment, and with her being alone for a thousand years. As she was in the middle of thinking of Nightmare Moon once again, she was unaware of Luna herself stealthily sneaking up behind her, with a brown paper bag in her hooves, already blown up and full of air, ready to pull a fast one on her. Luna had seen this action being done to guards in the mess hall at times, and she wondered how her sister would react to it; she didn't seem like the kind of pony to be particularly jumpy, but you never knew what would happen to a pony until you tried something on them! Luna continued to creep up on her unsuspecting sister, taking note that she seemed to be in the middle of a daydream; perfect, just perfect. Her slow hoofsteps made no noise as the lunar princess continued to slowly close the distance between them, with the evil intent dead set on her mind; her sister would most likely call for unrelenting retribution on her, but it would be worth it in the end, with her getting the last laugh as her sister would do something unspeakable, like smacking her across the face with a pillow. Full of bricks. While on fire. She raised up the bag and a hoof, preparing to smash her hoof into the bag, ready to startle an oblivious Celestia... When a voice sounded out cheerfully at the worst absolute time. "Auntie Celestia, auntie Luna, hi!" Many things happened simultaneously, and with hilarious results that were not expected by anypony present at the time, and, once the initial rage and awkwardness from this event faded away, it became a rather funny and only slightly embarrassing memory for those involved. The voice had come from behind the two alicorns, and naturally, Celestia had turned around to address the speaker, only to be confused by the sight of Luna holding a brown bag to her face. Naturally, her response was to wonder what the heck was going on. "What th-" At the same time, Luna panicked, and having nowhere to hide the blown up, brown paper bag anywhere quickly, decided to detonate it with her hoof and taking what she could still salvage from her ruined plan, causing what would later then be recorded as the loudest explosion to have come from a brown paper bag in history. This explosion also happened to be in her sister's face, who, after receiving the blast, began to flail her hooves wildly in a panic, believing to have been shot; this caused Luna's nose to get hit with a hoof, and the lunar princess fell back on her rump with a yelp, barely managing to not get trampled by her sister. Celestia then somehow managed to fall on top of her sister, with her hooves on her ears, trying to get rid of the ringing noise that was in her head. This was all observed by a now speechless Cadence and her husband, Shining Armor, both ponies looking down at the normally dignified princesses in a moaning, pain filled princess heap. Shining Armor looked confused, and was about to say something when Cadence touched his shoulder; he looked up at her, and saw an equally confused Cadence looking at the alicorn pile in front of them. After a short moment of watching her two aunties in a dazed stupor, Cadence realized that the two weren't going to be getting out of their confusion and pain anytime soon, so she decided to give them a helping hoof. Cadence walked up to Celestia, and gently tapped the base of Celestia's horn; she repeated the action with Luna, and stood back as the two shook their heads, the confusion gone from their minds from the simple action (Something that Cadence learned: Tapping the base of a unicorn's horn was very effective in dispelling any headaches). Celestia, naturally, was first to speak. "Don't DO that, Lulu!" Her sister was quick to respond, with a sheepish look towards Cadence and Shining Armor that was just screaming 'help me'. "Ah ha, ha ha...What are you talking about, Tia? I didn't do anything! It must have been a...Ah, trick of the light! ...Get it?" Unfortunately for Luna, Celestia was not about to let her off easily this time, and growled into her face, causing Luna to give a quiet 'meep' of distress. "Don't play games with me! You exploded a bag in my face! What were you thinking?!" A cowering Luna took a moment to mentally think up of an explanation, and offered a slight smile at her sister as she thought of a very bland explanation, which wouldn't win any awards, but would (Hopefully) convince Celestia that she was not at fault. "W-Well, I..." Her words were cut off by a suddenly calm sounding Celestia, who sighed and nuzzled her sister gently. "You know what, forget it, Lulu." Luna blinked, and tilted her head slightly in a questioning manner; this wasn't something she expected her sister to say! "...Does this mean I'm not in trouble, Tia?" "Only if I can't catch you first." It took a short amount of time for Luna to realize what her sister meant by that, and her eyes widened with dismay and horror. "...Oh, Faust, help me now!" Luna pushed Celestia off of her, then scrambled to her hooves and darted away quickly, followed by Celestia, who was toting not one flaming pillow filled with bricks, but two; for the next five days, Celestia would be running after Luna nonstop with an impressive array of bedroom themed weaponry. As Luna was running for her life, Cadence sighed, and looked at her husband, who looked back at her. "Well...Okay, then. Shining?" "...Yeah, Caddy?" "...Want to get a milkshake? I'm sure those two will have fun with each other for a while before realizing that I'm here with you. Might as well get a milkshake or two before they say hi to me!" "...Aren't you afraid they're going to kill each other? I mean, they're alicorns that can sling magic five miles away to create a crater the size of Manehattan. With a sneeze." Cadence shrugged, and looked over towards the general direction of where the castle kitchens were, slightly drooling over the prospect of a milkshake. "Eh, I'm not that particularly worried about either of them, to be honest." "...Are you sure?" "I think Celestia is content with whacking Luna over the head with a flaming pillow filled with bricks rather than blast Luna with some super powerful end of the world two by four laser beam from her mouth mystical mumbo jumbo magic flare that would probably kill us all. I'm sure Celestia wouldn't kill everypony, much less Luna!" "...If you say so; In that case, let's go get some milkshakes, Caddy!" The two then began to walk down to the castle kitchens, narrowly managing to avoid a flaming brick that was meant for Luna as the two older alicorns darted around, one fleeing for her life, the other intent on catching her sister and doing unspeakable things to her with lipstick. Author's Note Cadence would rather get a milkshake then help Luna survive Celestia's wrath Brown paper bags cause huge explosions Flaming bricks hurt Celestia has five thousand different weapons based on items in the bedroom, from catapulted flaming mirrors to lipstick daggers This chapter feels incredibly lazy An uneasy compromise, Tia!An uneasy compromise, Tia! "You have my word that I shall look into your proposed ideas when time presents itself for me." A mare nodded, bowed, and wordlessly began to leave her court, secretly jumping for joy inwardly at the thought of the lunar Princess going through her proposal for eliminating apples in a cost effective (But no less surely agonizing) way while reimbursing apple farmers across Equestria. As the mare exited through the doors, Luna's mind wasn't on the fact that she might finally have a solution to Equestria's infestation; instead, there was another, more pressing issue on her mind. Luna sighed, and rubbed her stomach gently; it growled in return, and she knew that she needed something to silence the insistent noise that was quickly getting out of hoof. Still, her court (And the ponies that came to it) came first, but since there were no ponies in the immediate vicinity, she dared to ask the question to a nearby adviser. "...Is that all for the night court tonight? I see no others here." "Yes, your highness, that is all for the night court. There are no more ponies waiting outside your doors to consult with you currently, and, truthfully, most ponies should be asleep by now, Princess Luna." "Very well then, close the doors and lock them; the night court is closed for tonight! I have other business to attend to, so you may go home as well." "As you see fit, princess." Her adviser bowed, and Luna nodded at him as he left; she took a few moments to watch as the ponies of her court began to leave her court, some trying to stifle tired yawns; they still needed to adjust to their new jobs at night, so she could hardly fault them for being a little sleepy. The growling sounded out again, and she knew that if she didn't act now, all would be lost, and Equestria would be put under even more peril if she did not get fed quickly. Luna stood up from her seat, and promptly made a beeline to the kitchen; tonight, she had opened the night court without partaking in any food beforehoof, and that was a poorly thought out decision, as she found out earlier today. Meeting ponies on an empty stomach and trying to listen to their problems and proposals while also juggling her stomach was not one of the best decisions she ever made. She sped by servants and guards, nobles and commoners, disregarding all that was in her way between her and the kitchens; she wanted to please the ever hungry divine being that was her stomach, for fear of the unrelenting retribution she may suffer if she did not offer it sacrifices in the form of food. After bursting into the kitchens, she saw her sister Celestia off to the side for the briefest of moments; she didn't take much heed of her, however. She was probably unable to sleep during her night and thought that a midnight snack would help her sleep. Running past a clearly startled Celestia, she dived over the table and danced around the gigantic, open kitchen area to reach her own personalized fridge, opening it up to the whole, wide world to witness the contents of her fridge, if they had been looking in. That very fridge was full of nothing but moon pies; moon pies everywhere. The mere thought of having a treat named after her made her excited, but also a bit confused. For one thing, ponies named a dessert after her moon! On the other hoof, she didn't see anything that resembled a moon pie when she was banished to the moon, so she wondered how ponies even got the idea of calling these treats 'moon pies'. A mystery that would go unsolved, as she was too hungry to care about that now! With impossibly swift movement, her hooves darted forward, grabbing a moon pie and removing the colorful wrapping with such practiced precision that it would have made Twilight Sparkle's organisation skills weep; she brought the delicious, formerly wrapped treat to her mouth, and with a delightful crunch, devoured half of the moon pie. Her mouth immediately went to work, crunching it down to smaller bits that she then swallowed, and after those were done? She bit onto the remains of the moon pie, and devoured them as well, setting an unofficial record of taking fourteen seconds to eat a double stacked moon pie. This process was repeated three times, and after the third, Luna sighed in relief as her stomach finally had its moon pie sacrifice for the day, and with that, the angry growling stopped, content to digest the moon pies. She turned around, ready to return to her duties, when she truly saw why Celestia was in the kitchen, or, at least, the remains of why. Cakes. So many cakes, and what appeared to be former cakes as well, if the crumbs were anything to go by, which was a rather staggering amount of crumbs. She figured that Celestia was quiet only out of politeness, but it was really only to avoid drawing her gaze towards her and her...'Snack'. Luna could only stare as her sister giggled nervously, and tried to hide the half-eaten cake behind her, a chocolate cake, Luna guessed. "...Hello, Lulu." Celestia's cheeks were smeared with cake, and it took all of Luna's willpower to not break down in laughter at the messy alicorn in front of her. "Hello, Tia. May I ask you a question?" Celestia nodded slightly; while her poker face may be perfect in front of her little ponies, but in front of Luna, she could see the cracks in it, such as the subtle twitch of her wings, and the blink that accompanied her nod. "C-Certainly! What would that question be, Lulu?" Unfortunately for Celestia, Luna was blunt with her question. "How many cakes have you eaten?" "About...Two?" Luna looked around Celestia, and concluded in five seconds that her sister was obviously lying. "Liar, I see so many plates around you, there's no way it could have been only two cakes." Her sister's poker face broke, and she sighed before looking wistfully at the scattered cake plates everywhere, and the crumbs, as if they were heavenly treats; in regards to her sister, that's what they probably were, actually. "...Okay, I won't lie to you, sister; I'm on my tenth delicious, moist, and heavenly cake, Lulu. That's...Not bad, right?" Luna recoiled violently at the number that she was given; now that was going too far! She didn't expect such a large number of cakes, and this was supposed to be a 'midnight' snack, for Faust's sake! "FOR THE LOVE OF-" "Lulu! Inside voice!" Luna snorted as she strode up to her sister, and looked at all the scattered plates and crumbs. "Tia, how can you possibly eat that much cake as a snack?! How does the kitchen staff even manage to provide you with all this cake anyway?! Do you have some chefs dedicated to only making you cakes?" Celestia began to consider saying something before opening her mouth, and then closed it again, obviously not wanting to give her sister an answer; Luna's eyes grew wide, and the look of amazement, horror, and wonder of thinking about such a thing gave way to a wide grin; Celestia watched in horror as Luna giggled softly, and winked at her, planning something very, very bad for her. "Does this mean I finally have some ammunition against you, sister? What would your ponies say if I told them you had an extreme fondness for cake at night?" Unfortunately for Luna, Celestia was very, very crafty, and quick to think on her hooves; one had to, after all, especially if you didn't want your little sister spreading word of your eating habits. "If you dare mention a word of this outside this kitchen, I'll have you know first that they make and individually wrap all those moon pies for you, so if you dare to breathe this out to other ponies, I'll simply have my chefs stop making the best moon pies in Equestria for you." It was partly a bluff, since the royal cooks didn't actually make her moon pies, but they did buy them from only the best bakeries, which just so happened to also be owned by Celestia, in the case that she wanted to eat cake in private and not in the castle; a rare occurrence, but sometimes she liked eating cake in other locations. That got Luna's attention, and she looked at her fridge, stocked full of those delicious moon pies, and then back to her sister, who wasn't smiling, with her poker face back on, and she couldn't find a crack in it this time; she realized then that the only way to keep those heavenly pieces of ambrosia would be to agree to her sisters terms, unfortunately. Sighing, she lifted a hoof up, and smiled weakly at her. "I promise not to say a word about you cake 'team' if you promise not to stop production of my moon pies." "I agree to those terms, Luna." Celestia extended a hoof, wrapping it around Luna's outstretched limb. "I do not like it, however; this is an uneasy compromise, sister." Celestia rolled her eyes, and smiled sweetly at Luna, happy that her semi-bluff worked on her. "All compromises are." "Fair enough." The deal settled and the compromise made, two sisters left the kitchen happily with each other for different reasons each, but both also forgetting the half-eaten cake that some poor pony chef would find later. Author's Note What's a moon pie? Celestia is sneaky Celestia can also win every game of poker easily Invite me next time, Lulu!Invite me next time, Lulu! Celestia frowned at the alicorn across from her, which happened to be none other than her own sister. Luna was pointedly staring at the ground, not wanting to meet her upset sister's gaze. Both of them knew that what had transpired was wrong, but neither felt like the right time was now to state why it was wrong. Seconds ticked on by to minutes, which slugged onto hours; alicorns could wait a very long time before deciding to take action. By the end of the third hour, however, one of those alicorns decided it was time to speak their piece, and Celestia was the one that spoke first, with a disapproving tone in her voice. "I'm very upset with you, Luna." The younger alicorn's ears drooped in sadness, and her tone of voice reflected that back at her sister. "I know, Tia, I know, you have every right to be. It's so hard to learn all these new rules, though, in modern society today! We...I do not understand the meaning behind most of them, and some of them aren't even used! Tell me, why are there rules about littering on the moon when I was the only one there?! Or rules about alicorns being forced to become princesses?" Celestia frowned slightly as she tried to remember the obscure laws, and shrugged, unable to give her sister an answer; she made a mental note to herself to look through the current laws set in place and see if she could write them out. After all, the last thing she needed was some obscure law forbidding her to eat cake. "...I don't know. That's not the point, though! Surely you must have known that starting a food fight between the lunar and solar guards in the MIDDLE of a social gathering of bureaucrats was WRONG? Poor Cadence herself took a direct hit to the face with a berry pie! Multiple times! By you!" "I thought they wanted to join in the fun, and I thought Cadence would react quicker to my weaponry after getting hit! ...If not the first, second, third, or fourth pie, then the fifth! At least she had the sense to dodge the sixth pie and call for backup. Sister, I did schedule the food fight that afternoon, you even said that it was okay!" "Yes, indeed, I said it was alright to schedule a food fight, but I thought you had the sense not to schedule it during a meeting between the crystal ponies and our own aristocrats while I was off visiting my student! Imagine my surprise when I came back to see a battlefield full of delicious pies and slices of cake splattered across the courtyard! Did it also not occur to you to ASK the bureaucrats if they wanted to partake in the food fight?!" "To be fair, it was a solar guard that threw the first pie before anypony was ready, and he threw it at one of my guards." Celestia wasn't getting her point across to Luna, and she began to rub the base of her horn gently, feeling a familiar headache she had not had for awhile now come back to haunt her; the headache of having to deal with Luna's shenanigans. "I know, I have him doing latrine duty tomorrow for firing the first shot. Anyway, Lulu, that's not the point I'm trying to get across to you; I'm annoyed because you had to plan the food fight in the middle of an important meeting, and you even participated in the fight as well, causing Cadence to be sent to the infirmary for pie related injuries! I did not think that you were going to participate in the food fight, I thought you were only trying to lessen the tension between the lunar and solar guards with a food fight without getting involved, and only being there to supervise them so that they did not get out of hoof! Imagine what everypony will say after today, and what the press will publish tomorrow!" Luna's tone of voice grew to a whining, slightly higher pitched tone of voice, which easily marked her annoyance with her older sister. "It looked so fun that I wanted to join in, Tia! Besides, both the lunar and solar guard seemed to enjoy it, so I succeeded there!" "I suppose it's a good thing that they enjoyed it, but look at you! You look positively filthy!" Indeed, as the lunar princess looked down at herself, she realized that she still had a pie tin, complete with pie, all across her front, which, in the past few hours, had slowly slid down her body until it just now hit the floor with a dull clank; her mane was sticky and splattered with pieces of crust, her wings now rendered useless as the shrapnel from pies and cakes had effectively lodged themselves in-between her feathers, and she felt more tired than she remembered feeling in a long, long time. In short, she was in need of an immediate bath. "...I look and feel great, Tia! It's wonderful to feel such sticky desserts impact me once again; it's just like the food fights we did when we were younger, only with less fruitcake! For the love of Faust, I hate fruitcake!" Celestia sighed explosively, and slumped down in her seat, convinced that she would never be able to tell her sister what she meant; Luna reached out with one sticky hoof, and pressed it against one of Celestia's hooves in a simple but calming gesture, with a look of concern on her face. "Celestia; what's wrong with the idea of me having fun?" Celestia looked up at her sister, and smiled slightly as she gently pushed Luna's hoof away; she received a hurt look from Luna, but Celestia was quick to mend that. "I'm sorry, Luna, but there's honestly nothing wrong; nothing's wrong with the idea of you having fun! It's just...I wish I was there, to throw pies at you alongside my solar guard, while you opposed me with your lunar guard! I went a thousand years without having fun at all! I love my...Our little ponies, but they can be such a bore at times! You should have told me when you were going to do something like this, sister!" Celestia then did the one thing that Luna absolutely loathed herself for being extremely partial to; Celestia's pouting. That was completely unfair; Celestia's pout was famous for being able to stop wars and win cake from even the most difficult ponies ever, heck, she even managed to get a cake from Discord with it! It was impossible to resist, and Luna gave a sigh of defeat before wrapping her hooves around her sister in a tight hug, which was eagerly replicated by Celestia, who inwardly winced as she felt the squelch of pie remains being squeezed between the two sisters. "Oh, Tia...I'm sorry, but I couldn't find a more suitable time period for the food fight, and that was the biggest and best place to hold it!" "Well...I forgive you, Lulu. Just remember three things." Luna nodded slowly, ready for her sister's advice. "What would you have me remember, Tia?" Celestia frowned as she stepped away from Luna to check herself, and sure enough, quite a bit of cake and pie from Luna had transferred onto her coat. "One, take a bath after food fights. I know I'm going to have to." "Heh heh, sorry. The second, Tia?" "No more interrupting bureaucratic meetings with pies and cakes." "Fair enough. And the last one?" "Invite me next time, Lulu!" Author's Note By Luna's request, there were no apple pies (Or cakes) present at the food fight, because Faust save the guard that would have unluckily and unknowingly grab and throw the pie at Luna that happened to be Luna's worst enemy Celestia dropped by Twilight's home because she wanted some cake from her Poor Cadence, those pie related injuries must hurt Don't give Luna fruitcake Bureaucrats everywhere from then on learned to be wary whenever excess pies and cakes were seen You have weird nightmares, Tia!You have weird nightmares, Tia! Luna smiled as she dispelled a nightmare from a filly, and created a large land full of candy, rainbows, and sunshine for the filly to trot and play around in, at least until they woke up for school tomorrow morning. As she left the dream, confident that the filly wouldn't be troubled by nightmares for this night, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret as she left the filly's dreams; she had always enjoyed watching the dreams of other ponies and their actions inside the dreamscape, but she was unable to linger for a long time in any one pony's dream, as there was the possiblity that there was another pony in a particularly dreadful nightmare, somewhere else in Equestria for her to dispel. It was also of much regret that she didn't seem to be as powerful as she was before in the dreamscape; being sealed away from one of her domains for such a long time had weakened her power over it and caused her to go out of practice. This was an especially difficult thing to come to terms with, not only because she could not display her awesome powers to help ponies, but it also made dispelling nightmares that much harder. Only practicing her once formidable power would help her overcome her current weakness, but there was not much to practice on; years of continued prosperity and peace had caused the ponies of Equestria to become soft and content, with little in the way of nightmares. In fact, fillies and colts were her only reliable source of training, and she was quickly getting bored with creating a candy land for fillies and colts in every nightmare she visited. Her dream form walked down the streets of Canterlot, on the look out for any nightmares that were distressing ponies; at least, any that weren't from little fillies and colts. A slight twinge towards her right made her turn around and look up; she realized that it was causing her to look towards her sister's balcony. It seemed as if her sister required her assistance; Faust knew that both of her fillies still had nightmares about Discord, among other things. Luna flew up to Celestia's balcony, and after composing herself, phased through the door. One of the nice things about this job was the fact that her dream form was not (entirely) bound by most rules, so trivial things like walking through doors could happen; why she couldn't sink down through the floor, she didn't know, but oh well. One of the disadvantages of this job, however, was that she often was not able to get to dream herself, being busy entering the dreams and nightmares of others; then again, she mused, she could also have gotten nightmares when she could have gotten dreams, so it wasn't all that bad. She took a moment to gush at how cute her sister looked like when she was sleeping; she was clutching a life sized Twilight plushie in her hooves, and her mane was splayed out, in its natural color hue. She wondered how many Twilight plushies her sister had before sitting down next to her, and noticed a few things that were off with Celestia and a supposed good night's rest; her teeth were bared slightly, and were being clenched none too softly. If the Twilight plushie was the real pony, the poor mare would have been gasping for air, being hugged with the incredible strength that alicorns possessed. Her breathing was erratic, and it was clear from her pillow and sheets that her sister was sweating profusely. Celestia was having a truly terrible dream, and as the nightmare vanquisher and her sister, it was up to her to fix that. However, she hesitated, and drew back from her sister slightly. Was she strong enough to conquer whatever nightmares that were in her sister's dreams? Her power may very well be inadequate for a nightmare of this scale; her sister did not usually have nightmares, and whenever she did, they usually promised to be overwhelming ones. She raised a hoof, and gently tried to brush her sister's mane; unfortunately, since she was in her dream form, her hoof did nothing do her sister's mane, and instead went through it and a small part of the bed. The simple act (Or lack of) caused her sister's slightly labored breathing to calm down slightly, and Luna took heart in that simple, unconscious gesture on her sister's part; that simple act gave her the confidence to push through, and dive into her sister's nightmare, with the intent on trying her best to make it a normal dream again. The very first thing that came across Luna's mind when she looked around inside her sister's nightmare was that it was a completely white void with her sister slumped down on the ground, roughly a few feet away; quite the unusual setting for a nightmare. Before she moved towards her, she called upon her dream magic to help blend her into the background; that wasn't hard to do, since everything around her sister's dreamscape was white. Satisfied with her disguise so that she could view her sister's nightmare without disturbing it, Luna trotted over to her, only to have her sister suddenly stiffen, and turn around wildly; her breath caught in her throat as Luna thought that her camouflage was somehow blown, but her sister was staring past Luna. Following her gaze, she made a stifled gasp as she saw the image of Nightmare Moon; her former, darker self grinned, and walked up towards Celestia, who shrank away from her even as Nightmare Moon began to coo in a soft voice. "It has been a long day coming, sister, for this very moment." "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I really am, Lu-" "LUNA DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE, YOU PATHETIC FOAL; THERE IS ME, AND ONLY ME NOW, NIGHTMARE MOON!" Instead of the strong, willful sister that Luna knew and loved, Celestia pulled away, as if slapped, and glanced fearfully at Nightmare Moon; her eyes were tearing up, and even from this distance, Luna could see the sadness being radiated from Celestia; the very sight of her sister suffering from this nightmare was eating away at her, but she didn't know if this was just a simple nightmare, or something far, far beyond her current power. "P-Please...Don't do this..." Nightmare Moon growled, and stepped up even closer to Celestia; Luna, on instinct, began to crouch low, ready to tackle Nightmare Moon, when she realized that interfering with the dream now would only make things worse; directly influencing dream (Or nightmare) events with the pony actually seeing you often made things much worse. Grudgingly, she stood back up, watching Nightmare Moon walk up close enough to strike her again; Luna leaned in forward for a better view, Celestia turned her head away, and Nightmare Moon only grinned as she raised a hoof... ...Only to boop Celestia on the nose. What. "Tag, you're it!" Celestia whined as Nightmare Moon bounced away, scrambling after her as she left. "It's not fair, you can't hide anywhere here, and you know that you're faster than me!" "Less talking, more chasing!" Luna could only stare in dumb amazement as her sister got up on her hooves with a groan, and began to run after Nightmare Moon; she couldn't help but stare as her sister tried (And failed) to keep up with Nightmare Moon, who was laughing and taunting at her sister. After about five minutes of watching an obviously exhausted Celestia try to keep up with her, she could only say one thing about the whole ordeal, though rather quietly, so not to disturb the two. "You have weird nightmares, Tia!" Shaking her head in disappointment, she decided to leave this nightmare unattended to, and left her sister's dream, determined to help a little filly or colt from nightmares about Slendermane; at least that was a realistic nightmare, not...Whatever her sister was dreaming of right now. That, and her sister could use the exercise, even if it was from playing tag with Nightmare Moon. Author's Note Luna fails to protect Celestia when Celestia needs her the most Dream exercising is a terrible, terrible thing, for Celestia will feel it in the morning Twilight plushie is here again Luna's dream form works like so: She can phase through objects like doors, pass through ponies, enter the dreams and nightmares of other ponies, dispelling them with a little magic, and make scary noises at other ponies that are awake at this time to scare them; however other than that, she's still bound to the same rules of gravity and normality as if she were awake in the day Let's do it, Lulu!Let's do it, Lulu! Although immortality was a wonderful gift, allowing her to serve her ponies for countless years to come, it did have its downsides. Namely, that immortality caused you to get bored very, very quickly. If you couldn't overcome that boredom, it would drive you mad, which was what happened to Discord. Thankfully, her parents had seen this coming a long ways away, and sent her and Luna to stop Discord before he ruined a perfectly good world to inhabit and guide the sentient beings there to peace and harmony. If anything, however, Celestia swore that she would become the next Discord, and finish what he started if she didn't find something to occupy her time with. Sure, there were the latest trends that ponies seemed to like, but they simply felt like fads to her that would go away and fade into obscurity in the blink of an eye. There were things she did because of her boredom, such as reading (Faust forbid it would be anything related to taxes and bills, or those trashy novels about teen romance; where did all the writing creativity go?), skipping stones across a pond (her personal best was ten skips, though Luna could easily triple that in her sleep while drunk and being taped to the ceiling upside down with duct tape), and staring up at the ceiling of her bedroom, counting the tiles that made up her ceiling (she always lost count somewhere in the four thousands), but these were things that anypony could do, and those activities didn't really relieve her of her boredom; instead, they usually just made it worse for her. Indeed, she was in her room, without a single thing that she hadn't done nearby. Read old friendship reports from her student? She already did that every weekend. Squeeze specially made stress balls while thinking about something stressful? She needed to order a new one after Luna had pranked her; she had gone to her room and squeezed the stress ball so hard that it popped under the tremendous force of her hooves. Look out the balcony? Tempting, since there was always the chance that something new could happen, and she hadn't looked actually been outside on her balcony for a long while. Sighing, she took a moment to stretch her limbs out before lazily rolling off the side of her bed; despite the fact that she was the older sister that did most of the paperwork, Celestia was an incredibly lazy alicorn by alicorn standards. She once again savored the fact that the floor now had carpeting (The lucky carpenters that had furnished her room got paid twenty times the amount they would usually have been paid, much to their amazement and delight) for a moment before getting back up on her hooves to slowly walk over to the balcony. With a gentle push with some magic, courtesy of her horn, she pushed the doors that kept her balcony and room seperate, and stepped outside. The first thing that immediately came to her mind was that she should probably reconsider the silencing spell that completely nullified any sound trying to enter her bedroom; if the spell wasn't in place, she probably would've known that it was downright pouring outside. Needless to say, Celestia was instantly soaked the moment she stepped outside. Undaunted by the sudden physical change from being warm and toasty to cold and wet (alicorns didn't get sick, at least not easily), she scanned the area for any points of interest; alas, there was nothing that kept Celestia's attention for more than five seconds. Of course, any sentient being with a lick of common sense was in a nice, dry, warm place, and if they weren't, they were quickly heading there. Groaning in exasperation, Celestia walked back into her bedroom, and closed the balcony with a slam; today was the day that she would go mad like Discord, it seemed, unless her sister had anything for her to do. Deciding that it was her last chance to NOT go crazy, Celestia quickly fried (yes, fried, not boiled) the water on her coat, effectively evaporating it in an instant and giving her a slightly fluffy look that a little grooming later would take care of; for now, however, she had to find her sister, and she prayed to Faust that she would have something that would interest her. As she walked down the hallway to the lunar court, she couldn't help but notice that the ponies she ran into often gaped at her, probably from how she looked. Sighing at how impossible her ponies could be, she continued on her way to Luna's court, giving the lunar guards a curt nod before striding into her sister's court, drawing in her breath in an attempt to speak to her sister... ...Which died out as she saw how empty the courtroom was; Luna was playing checkers with one of her advisers while the rest were playing poker at a table, many of whom had extremely poor poker faces. The guards were yawning, and some were even slumped against walls, taking a nap on duty. All in all, it was quiet, peaceful, and completely different than the solar court, which was always packed, chaotic, and full of ponies asking her questions or shoving proposals for the 'benefit' of Equestria in her face. Mentally, she made a note for half of her current court to seek audience with Luna; she could handle some of her ponies if she had the free time to play checkers with one of her advisers! "...Ahem." The clearing of her throat instantly caused a chaotic uproar, seen by guards fumbling to wake up and stand at attention rather raggedly, the advisers playing poker to suddenly overturn the table in their haste to run over towards Luna in an attempt to 'advise' her, and Luna herself giving a surprised look and a suppressed snicker at Celestia before looking around at her courtroom and smiling at her sister sheepishly; silence reigned over the courtroom for a few moments before Luna dared to speak. "...Hello, Tia! What brings you here to my court?" "I need to talk with you about an important matter, Lulu. Please, dismiss the ponies in your court here." Celestia didn't miss the flicker of uncertainty that flashed in Luna's eyes before her sister gave a slight nod, causing the ponies in the courtroom to leave quietly. Some of the braver ponies chanced a glance at Celestia, who was maintaining her usual composure, despite the fact that it just looked like she had just climbed out of a dryer. Once all the ponies had exited the courtroom and the doors closed, Luna burst out in laughter, and Celestia scowled as she strode over to Luna to clobber Luna with a hoof on top of her head. "Ow! Hee hee, sister, what happened to you?!" "That's not important! I'm bored, Lulu! I need something to do!" Luna's laughter ceased, and she turned slightly pale as Celestia said that she was bored; this was terrible! She gaped at Celestia, who had a mournful look on her face. "Tia! This will not do! You remember what happened to Discord; we...I cannot allow it to happen to you as well!" "I know, Lulu! I don't know what to do, though! I can't think of anything, and you're my last hope, Lulu!" Pacing around Celestia agitatedly, Luna tried to think of things that her sister in her right mind would not have considered doing; one of her sister's few weaknesses beside bananas and spiders and other such things were her inability to cope with boredom; in fact, she wondered how her sister even managed a thousand years by herself! She shot suggestions at Celestia, who turned down or made up an excuse for all of them but one. "Have you sparred with your guards?" "The guards deem it too dangerous for me." "Help the gardeners in the Royal gardens?" "They don't want me to get dirty." "Blow up a mountain?" "Why?" "Wave your fat flank at Discord's statue and laugh at him? "That's just rude and indecent! I am also not fat!" "Play video games?" "The only pony I can ask to play with is with you, and you almost always win." "Streak across the castle?" "...Luna, we don't normally wear clothes anyway, and that might cause a political incident." "Visit your student?" "I'm not able to do that frequently enough." "Oh, oh, I know, let's prank your student, Twilight Sparkle!" Now, that was an idea that had never crossed her mind; for how often she got bored, she had never once considered pranking her student...Or anypony, for that matter, despite the fact that she liked to tease other ponies. She looked at Luna with a hopeful expression on her face that it would have killed any other pony, were they not an alicorn. "I...Have never considered that, Lulu. Do you really think that will help me fix my boredom, Lulu?" "Of course! Now, all we need is a stapler, a gallon of milk, some fish, a box of raisin bran, and a frying pan!" Celestia clapped her hooves together in excitement before hugging her sister tightly, causing her sister to wince from the force of the hug. "Yay! Let's do it, Lulu!" "Celestialetgopleaseyou'recrushingmeithurtsreallybadlyFaustpleasehelpyourdaughter." Author's Note Celestia gets bored easily Luna almost dies from Celestia's hugging Poor, poor Twilight I don't even know, Tia!I don't even know, Tia! Luna yawned as she strode down the hallway towards the kitchens; her sister had tried to persuade a mass of ponies to come to her lunar court, however, she had a very cunning mind, and told them that Celestia had far more influence in politics, and could get things done faster than she could, as well as giving far more favorable outcomes. That quickly reduced the number of ponies that wished to do business with her down to a more manageable size, and once they had been heard and her judgement given, she decided that a little snack would be welcome indeed. After all, ponies didn't really visit her, anyways, unless they couldn't get heard in the solar court, had no time to wait in line for Celestia to listen to her, or they wanted to try and assassinate her, for 'the solar empire'; unfortunately for them, they always seemed to use water guns and pie as assassination tools. Ponies these days were weird, but at least it was relatively peaceful (Though the apple pies were getting on her nerves). As she got closer to the kitchens, she heard yelling and various explosions; apparently, this was a normal thing, as Celestia had assured her one day, but she never knew why, nor did Celestia know either. The guards standing just outside the kitchens straightened up as they saw her, although she swore that they passed an uneasy look towards each other; one that didn't make her feel any less uncomfortable as they barred her access to the kitchens. She did not take kindly to this fact, and sighed. "May we...I enter the kitchen? I require a small snack from my private fridge." The guard on the right spoke up first, visibly discomforted by something. "Princess Luna, you really don't want to go in right now, trust me." An explosion sounded out from the kitchen, as well as some muted yelling, and the other guard winced. "What she said; the kitchens are...'Occupied' at this time." Luna glared down at the two guards, who, to their credit, did not flinch under her gaze. "I demand entrance into your kitchen, as the lunar princess!" The command could not be ignored, and the guards opened up the doors, though the female guard muttered softly to herself as she tugged her door open. "I warned you, princess...It ain't pretty inside, and we're locking the doors immediately after you go inside." "I do not believe that the kitchen is a terrible place to be, and what need of locks is there?!" Luna strode into the kitchens... ...Where she saw the biggest mess that she ever laid her eyes on. The door was promptly closed behind her, and she thought she heard a lock click behind her, although the scene in front of her was far more attention getting; pies and cakes were smashed across the floor, many ponies were on said floor, moaning from being impacted by whatever pie or cake they got hit from (She gave a short prayer to those that got hit by apple pies), and food carts were overturned, creating makeshift barriers between what appeared to be two warring sides, both of which stared at Luna as she took everything at face value. The silence and tension was so thick, she didn't think she could cut it with a knife; eventually, a small morsel of courage was found within her, and she raised a hoof, as well as a slight smile, in what she hoped was a friendly gesture. "...Hello, everypony? I hope I'm not..." "DEATH TO THE LUNAR TYRANT! SOLAR EMPIRE FOREVER!" The chaos immediately started again, and Luna dived underneath one of the overturned food carts, covering her head with her hooves and shouting out. "WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT HAVE I STUMBLED UPON?! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CAKES AND PIES FLYING AROUND?! YOU BETTER NOT BE THROWING MY MOON PIES!" A stallion suddenly came up next to her, with a pie in his hooves, and as he lobbed it over the food cart, he smiled grimly when he saw it impact a mare on the far side of the room. Quickly, he hid behind the food cart again, and explained the situation to a cowering Princess Luna. "Gotcha! Sorry, Princess, but you came by at the wrong time in the wrong place with the wrong intentions! All of us here on this side are the real kitchen staff; we're defending you from a group of infiltrators that dressed up like us and wish to assassinate you! We've kept them contained at the kitchens, but none of us can leave the kitchens because the doors were locked until you came by, but I'm sure they're closed again by now! Oh, and, I don't think any moon pies are being thrown, either." What. So there was a huge food war occurring in the kitchens, there were guards right outside that could, or at least should be able to hear the fighting, and they haven't come in to help the ponies? Were they corrupt? What had she stumbled into? At least her moon pies were safe. She watched as the ponies on this side of the kitchen continue to lob desserts across the room, all the while dodging desserts thrown by the opposing force, and the amazing thing was, there was quite a variety of 'weapons' being used; slingshots were used to propel muffins, egg beaters and rollers were used as melee weapons, and there were even cannons being loaded with muffins! Her observing was rudely interrupted as the frosting from a cake hit her; she reached out a hoof towards the frost, but immediately, a cry went up from a mare that happened to see the princess reach out towards the frosting now adorning her rump. "The princess has been hit by shrapnel! We need medical assistance!" Immediately, a pony wearing a nurse hat had appeared, and was quickly wiping away the frosting that was on Luna, then placing a bandage on her rump; as she was 'treating' her 'wounds', the 'nurse' grit her teeth in obvious anger at the ponies on the other side. Meanwhile, Luna was indignant that somepony would messily plaster a bandage on a non-existent wound on her rump, the look on the mare's face told her to humor the 'nurse'. Even though the events happening right now were explained to her earlier, she still felt like she knew absolutely nothing about what was happening right now. "How dare they strike at the Princess! We need to use the big cakes and pies!" The stuff they were using right now was small fry compared to what else they had? What kind of bakers did they have? Luna's mulling over the though was interrupted by a soft gasp coming from some random mare nearby that was almost completely drenched in pie and cake remnants, and even had an eye patch and scars running across her face; was this really a baker? REALLY? This mare looked more like a pirate than anything else! The heck, had her sister just hired anypony that could cook for her, and skipped the background checks? "No, lassie! We cae-nae use tha' biggies!" "They have injuried Luna's big royal tushie!" At that, Luna began to hotly intervene, insulted once again. "My tushie is not that bi-" "DUCK!" The scarred baker tackled the 'nurse' to the floor, and the scarred 'baker' had taken the pie that was originally meant for the 'nurse'; immediately, the nurse set to work on the scarred 'baker', who was cursing in bakery terms and had even managed to cause Luna to blush and look away from the sheer intensity and dirtiness of her words. "OKAY, 'HAT IS IT, THEM (Omitted for five minutes of dirty words) ARE GOIN' TO TASTE THA' BIGGIES!" As the mare said this, the door opened, with a surprised Princess Celestia looking on the scene with confusion. "What in th-" "THE DOOR IS OPEN, GET PRINCESS LUNA OUT OF THE CROSSFIRE!" At once Luna felt herself suddenly shoved out the door, and unfortunately, directly at her sister, who didn't have any time at all to prepare for the sudden and painful collision with Luna. Both alicorns groaned in pain, and Luna laid her head down on Celestia's chest, wondering what just happened. The two guards at the door tried to not stare at the two alicorns in their compromising position, though it was very hard for them to focus on their job, which was, namely, to prevent any kitchen staff from leaving the kitchen; they were quite insane, all things considered. Eventually, Celestia managed to mumble her sister's name softly. "...Lulu?" "Yes, Tia...?" "What just happened?" She wanted to tell her sister everything, from the huge amounts of food that was being wasted right now, to the infiltrators of the castle that were now waging a war on the kitchen staff, to the mare that had handled her roughly as she pressed a bandage to her rump, and to the guards that were clearly neglecting their duties, but she said none of these things. Instead, she took a deep breath, and said... "I don't even know, Tia!" Author's Note Ponies still don't like Luna Both princesses don't know what the heck is going on How do they have so many pies and cakes STOP SINGING, LULU!STOP SINGING, LULU! "...And who's this cute little button?!" The mare in the nurses outfit that Celestia was talking to smiled as she introduced the little filly in the bed. "This is Starshine! Say hello to Princess Celestia, dear!" Starshine looked up at Celestia with wide eyes and her mouth slightly open, trying to contain the excitement and awe in meeting Celestia; so far, she was doing really, really well to not have burst out by now in some way. Even some older ponies freaked out at the sight of Celestia, something that Twilight Sparkle had yet to be remedied of. Eventually, the filly managed to put together a few words. "You're...So big!" Celestia smiled at the filly, although inwardly, she winced; she felt like she was just called fat by a little filly, but she wasn't going to hold it against her. Wars were fought over by less. "Yes, I am, little one. I'm also a pretty princess! Are you a pretty princess too?" The filly's eyes grew even wider at the question, and she gave a little squeak before nodding at Celstia. "Yes! I'm a pretty princess too!" The nurse chuckled, and reached into a nearby refrigerator for a juice box for the filly, which, thankfully, Celestia could see that it was not banana flavored. The nurse only managed to open the refrigerator and stick her hoof in halfway towards the juice box as suddenly, a small group of royal guards, numbering five, two of them among Luna's lunar guard, while the three other her solar guard, entered the room. They were composed of two unicorns, two earth ponies, and one pegasus; the pegasus and two earth ponies were hers, while the unicorns were among Luna's guard. Needless to say, the sight of the royal guards entering the room caused the filly to whimper in fear; Celestia frowned, and wondered what could have caused five royal guards to suddenly want to seek her out. She did explicitly say that she didn't want to be disturbed while visiting a hospital for children, as the guards would most likely frighten them, so she expected a very good reason for why they intruded upon her now, of all times. She took a moment to take in their ranks, and immediately singled out the highest ranking guard among them. "Sergeant Morning Flower, what is the meaning of this? I thought I had very specific orders to not interrupt me. Unless there is a dire emergency, it can wait." The earth pony sergeant she named sighed, and looked back towards the other guards, who nudged her onward; the actions weren't missed by Celestia, and it took awhile for the sergeant to compose herself to say the dreadful words that Celestia never, ever wanted to hear. "I'm...Sorry for interrupting your visit to the hospital, Princess Celestia, but...Your sister is singing." Celestia groaned as took off into the skies back to the castle after bidding the nurse a hasty farewell; the pegasus guard, Radiant Rainbows, was flying alongside her, giving her more detailed information about what was going on in the castle and what the current situation was. It was, as sergeant Morning Flower had said, 'very bad'. "It's chaos that would even be too much for Discord himself, mam, pardon for speaking of your sister's 'singing' as such; however, the entire castle staff has evacuated the area, and we're waiting on your orders, as we assumed that you'd have a lot more experience with your sister's...'Singing'. We are at a total loss as to what else we should have done, so the only logical option left was to disrupt your visit to the hospital." 'You have no idea behind the truth of the words you spoke' groaned Celestia inwardly, remembering the times that Luna would sing in the shower; in fact, she wondered why it only became a problem now, her sister was usually quiet in her singing. "As much as I enjoy my hospital visits, you are right in summoning me from them; yes, I do have experience with my sister's 'singing', and I'm glad you have left the castle before you passed out from her sheer...'Intensity'. I love my dear sister, but I wished she had left her 'singing' on the moon." The rest of the flight was made in silence as the two ponies pushed themselves to reach the castle, and before long, they spotted a large group of ponies standing just outside the castle. Figuring them to be the castle staff and guards stationed at the castle, Celestia pulled into a dive towards them, and ponies began to cheer when they saw the solar princess touch down on the ground. "My little ponies! Do not worry, I'll have the situation under control soon!" With that short statement accompanied by the cheers of the castle staff, Celestia launched herself back up into the air to more quickly reach the castle; it was funny, really, how she was needed to stop her sister from singing. Unfortunately, Luna sang...Quite badly. Apparently, loudly, as well, as it was quite evident by the ponies standing outside of the castle, and the fact that Luna's voice was faintly heard even from this distance...She considered classifying Luna's singing as a weapon of mass destruction. All to soon, she was standing just outside the castle entrance, and she knew that she didn't want to hear what was on the other side. She also knew, however, that this was for Equestria, and the less ponies that heard Luna's 'singing', the better. That meant, however, that she would be directly confronting Luna's singing in full force, alone... She wished she had backup, or at least a pair of ear plugs. Nevertheless, she pushed open the great doors that led into the dining room... ...And was nearly blown back from the force of Luna's 'singing', which, unfortunately for Celestia, was even louder than the royal Canterlot voice; the only thing that prevented Celestia from retreating in fear was the fact that Celestia had the unfortunate experience of dealing with Luna's singing on multiple occasions, and that she knew how to block (Most) of her sister's 'singing' from her eardrums by imagining her sister eating apples. That humorous thought always helped her whenever she needed to stop Luna from singing; however, a thousand years of not hearing her sister sing meant that she was probably pretty rusty at stopping her, not to mention that Luna's singing seemed to have gotten even worse. "I swear, Lulu, I will teach you how to sing properly one of these days. QUIETLY. Either that, or I'll be forced to do the one thing I'd dearly love to do, stop you from singing!" She walked into the castle, her ears flickering towards the general direction where her sister's voice was coming from; fortunately, she just seemed to be in her room, which made it all the easier for her to reach Luna. Unfortunately, that was not the case; every step she took towards Luna's room was, well, another step towards Luna herself. Every step increased the volume, and with every step, Celestia swore that she was drowning in the noise that Luna was putting out. Her bones seemed to rattle from the deathly voice that was her sister's, and she briefly wondered what life would be like, deaf. At least she wouldn't have to listen to Blueblood trying to convince her to make him some macaroni and cheese, only for him to take it and try to make a quick bit on E-Bay. It was amusing, but she wasn't going to make macaroni and cheese for him, only to see it being sold and not eaten. Seemly forever and all too soon at the same time, she found herself at Luna's door. Composing herself, she took in a deep breath before she smashed the door down by ramming her head through it; she could have it repaired later, and it wasn't as if the door itself was anything special. Right now, the most important thing was silencing her sister, not an old door. Celestia's mane was frayed, messy, and had splinters inside of it, and she did not have an amused look on her face as she opened her mouth to scream at Luna. "STOP SINGING, LULU! YOU'RE SCARING EVERYPONY WITH THAT FAUST FORSAKEN SINGING OF YOURS!" Unfortunately, her sister wasn't responding, and Celestia's look of anger had melted into a look of confusion that changed into horror as she finally grasped the entirety of the situation that she was in; her sister was dancing around wildly with her eyes closed, hooves flailing about randomly in a way that managed to actually be worse than her student (She mentally reminded herself that she should get the both of them dance instructors), and in Luna's magical grasp was a rather recent pony invention, dubbed the iHOOF, which could store songs for anypony to listen to whenever they felt so inclined. Celestia had praised the invention for its creativity, ease of use, and ability to have your own personal music on the go. Right now, she was starting to have second ideas about the iHOOF. Luna suddenly twirled in her direction, and Celestia barely had time to throw herself out of the way while Luna spun around like a tornado of death, then went back to flailing herself around. Groaning, Celestia picked herself off the ground, noting the dust that had accumulated on her coat. "I'm going to have a word with the maids that were supposed to clean up your room, Lulu. Anyway, please forgive me for what I'm going to do next!" Empowering her horn with her radiant magic glow, she enveloped it over the iHoof, and tugged at it violently, ripping it away from Luna's grasp and ears. Luna stopped in the middle of a mid-air somersault, defying gravity, wondering why the music suddenly stopped before gravity showed her that it did not take kindly to upstarts defying it, even if they were alicorns. "Oof! Ow...My music..." "Your singing scared everypony off." Surprised, Luna looked over towards the sound of the voice, and smiled. "Tia, you're..." Her voice died as she saw how disheveled Celestia looked like, the low snarling coming from her, and the unamused looked that she was being given made Luna feel like she was staring at death itself; she squeaked, and jumped up to her hooves. "...I'm...In big trouble, aren't I?" Celestia nodded once, and tossed Luna's iHOOF away, where it landed softly on her bed. "Yep." Luna gulped, and began to back up slowly, wondering if she'd get out alive. "...Faust hel-" "FAUST WON'T HELP YOU NOW LULU!" Celestia dived for Luna, who scampered out of the way. Carpenters, architects, and construction ponies alike would be later pleased with the amount of work they had to do in the castle. Author's Note Celestia has a hard head Blueblood sells stuff he gets from Celestia on E-Bay for his bits This particular chapter inspired by this Luna can't sing Celestia now issues noise canceling headphones as standard safety equipment whenever inside the castle This is the longest chapter yet I will defeat you, Tia!I will defeat you, Tia! They stared each other down, with fire in one of their eyes, and the other, with darkness. Arguing had got them nowhere, and it was now time for them to duel each other. Words alone would not solve anything now; only action, and action alone, would be able to decide the fate of Equestria. It would be a bittersweet victory for either alicorn, but it was necessary for the greater good. The solar alicorn hefted her sword up, and pointed it at her lunar counterpart, with somewhat reluctant malice being radiated from her. "I ask you one last time, Luna, put away your sword, and we can try to work out a favorable compromise." A cackling and mocking laugh met her words, and Luna instead stepped closer, her sword still pointed at her sister. "I think not, tyrant; I know that you would only lie through your teeth and slip a dagger between my wings given the chance. Submit to me, Celestia, and I promise you that no harm will befall on you." "You know I will not submit to you like this." "Neither shall I, under your conditions, sister." "So it is decided." "Yes." With fluid motions, the two alicorns danced a dance of near death and steel, swinging their swords at each other in an attempt to wound each other. The intent was not to kill, but to force the other to submit. The impressive sword-play was watched by members of the royal guard on the sidelines, from both the solar and lunar guards, watching in awe as the battle continued; none dared cheer, however, for fear that they may have cheered on the losing alicorn. Clang. Swish. Pwiff. Parry. Guard. Feint. Dodge. Cake. These, and more were repeated constantly in a back and forth motion between the two, and it looked as if both alicorns would match each other. However, Celestia was beginning to weaken; Luna noticed this in the lack of strength of her newer strikes, and pressed on her advantage. Celestia's weakness was further growing as she cried out the first few words in what felt like forever to the two alicorns. "No, it cannot end like this! I will not allow it!" "Unfortunately for you, sister, it will end like this, whether you want it to or not!" It was unbelievable that they would go this far, but it had, and the feeling was so, so sweet; Luna could feel victory creeping up with every second that passed as she clashed with Celestia, who was sweating from exertion and gave a mighty yell as she charged at Luna again. Victory was close, so very close; it wouldn't take long before her sister buckled from the weighty barrage that she was putting her through as they danced around each other, with blades of the purest steel clashing against each other, making the most beautiful sounds that Luna would ever hear. Every time her sister attempted a counter attack, she was fooled by Luna's feints, who then pressed her advantage against Celestia quickly before she had a chance to recover; Celestia was almost done for, and both knew this as the fight raged on, but both sisters were willing to fight to the end. Guards watched on in amazement as the two princesses duked it out, and quiet bets were beginning to take place as the fight raged on, with most of the guards confident that Luna would prevail. Celestia back flipped away from Luna, taking the short, precious break that she had to take a deep breath; Luna, too, took one as well, and both sisters glared at each other before screaming and charging at each other again, with their weapons clashing against each other beautifully. That was not to last, however. With a sudden, heavy blow from Luna that completely took Celestia off guard, her sister was disarmed quite dramatically, and her weapon, a seemingly normal, unornamented sword, fell with a soft clank into the dirt, a good three feet away, behind Luna. Many guards cheered while many others despaired as Celestia made a move towards her weapon, only to be stopped by Luna, who aggressively slashed towards her, discouraging any movement towards her weapon; Celestia immediately backed up, with a whining tone in her voice. "Sister, please, think about what you're doing! This isn't fair!" "I have thought about this moment for a long time, sister, and neither was using my weakness against apples against me could be considered fair!" "I had reason to do such a thing, there is nothing to be feared from apples! Please, Lulu!" "Liar! I will purge you from the corrupting influence of apples, and you shall see the truth! Have at thee, Tia!" Luna then began to channel magic into her horn, imbuing her sword with a glow of dark energy; Celestia, in vain, began to place some distance between herself and her sister, even though she knew it would be too late to run anywhere once Luna completed her spell. She might have a chance, though, if Luna failed this particular spell, as it would leave her completely vulnerable and at her mercy if she did not perform it right. Luna raised up her hooves... ...And began to tap furiously at the buttons and moving around the joystick in front of her, trying to get the final combo attack (a 'mercy') to register correctly; failure to do so in this game would make her feel ashamed and get teased by none other than her sister, who was watching Luna's hooves fly across the gamepad in ever growing horror; the guards supporting Luna began to chant 'Finish her, Luna' and generally causing a large ruckus as the mercy continued. With each quick but careful movement, the exact sequence of buttons was being pressed, moved, and mashed at to perform the most dazzling, incredibly long and completely redundant mercy compared to the quicker, less flashy ones that would have won her victory anyway; despite that, Luna did not want the easy way out. No, Luna was all about humiliating her sister in the best way possible, and the best way was to use the Elements of Harmony on her. Sure, she could have done one of the lesser ones such as taking Celestia out to ice cream or a tight hug, but no; she wanted the flashiest ending for her sister. With one final click of the 'heavy' attack button, the mercy was complete; both sister could now only watch, one in horror, the other in undisguised glee as Luna (in the game) began to levitate all six Elements of Harmony into the air, each directed at Celestia (in the game). Five of the Elements (Honesty, Generosity, Kindness, Loyalty, and Laughter) shot a thin beam of light at the sixth element, magic, which, in turn, fired a much larger beam of rainbow light at Celestia (in the game), who screamed as she writhed from the magic being pumped into her; moments later, in big, red letters, came the words 'Player 2 wins!'. Guards that had bet on Luna cheered, throwing their helmets into the air and jeering at the other guards that bet on Celestia, who grumbled and began to stiffly walk away from the scene; eventually, all the guards left the scene after a few words from Luna, and soon, it was only the two princesses left in the guards' break room. Luna looked over at Celestia, who groaned as she tossed her controller away, and hid her head underneath a life sized Twilight plushie. Luna giggled, and then began to jump around Celestia, quite happy with herself. "I win, sister, I win! I win I win I win I win!" "How could you have possibly beat me ten times in a row...? I've played this game longer than you have! I even practiced!" "I'm obviously better, Tia!" "Okay, okay, I admit defeat, Lulu..." "What about the 'bet' that you made with me, huh?" With another groan of despair, Celestia levitated the life sized Twilight plushie over to her, which Luna hugged with glee. "Ha ha! Your life sized Twilight plushie is now mine, Tia!" Celestia growled playfully at her sister, and threw a disdainful look at the case of the game, 'Almost Mortal Kombat'. "You made me lose my life sized Twilight plushie! Now I have to secretly have one made with another non disclosure agreement!" Author's Note Mercy = Apparently a Fatality Almost Mortal Kombat = Mortal Kombat that apparently has swords Life sized Twilight plushie makes another appearance I don't even know what I'm writing anymore Your words wound me, Lulu!Your words wound me, Lulu! Celestia hummed quietly to herself as she walked down one of the many hallways in the castle; although she was technically supposed to be working right now, a little break now and then wouldn't hurt anypony. Best case scenario would be having her study catch on fire while she was away, burning some of those weird proposal Blueblood made while mysteriously keeping the 'good' ones safe. Unfortunately, that probably wasn't going to happen anytime soon, but a mare, especially an alicorn, could dream, right? Besides, she could always dump any leftover work on Luna; some revenge for the brown paper bag incident wouldn't be uncalled for, and Luna was probably playing checkers with one of her advisers anyway. Along her unguided path around the castle, she met ponies, be they guards, servants, nobility, Blueblood (who had somehow managed to freeze a small portion of the hallway he was in, and was ice skating), and a few tourists. All had looked upon her with awe, and more than a few commented on her mane; if there was one thing that Celestia was vain about, it was her mane. She stopped right in front of Luna's room; the guards shifted a bit uncomfortably, but otherwise ignored the solar princess standing just outside the lunar princess' room. Now, the general story behind the mane that many ponies believed was that Celestia's mane had changed color after using the Elements of Harmony, causing her formerly pink mane to turn into the vibrant, flowing thing it was today. Some ponies argued that she could change her hair color at a whim, and merely prefered the many hues of the rainbow than her former pink. Interestingly enough, it was a combination of the two that leads to her current mane color of rainbow. Her little flashback was interrupted by Luna's door opening up, and she watched as Luna came outside of her quarters with a yawn, which was quickly stifled when she saw her sister just outside the door. "Hello, Tia." Celestia smiled at her sister, and stepped forward to nuzzle her affectionately. "Hello, Lulu. Sleep well?" Luna backed away from the nuzzling, and nodded, a tired smile reaching at her lips. "I'm a bit tired, sister, but I feel fine other than that." "I'm glad to hear it, Lulu; I'm sorry, I stopped here unconsciously, I suppose, while having a bit of a flashback." "Oh? Do tell?" Flashbacks were slightly related to dreams and nightmares, which was Luna's domain, and she could make sense of it if her sister had problems with it. " You have me interested now; is it bothersome, and what is it about, Tia?" Celestia waved a hoof carelessly, with a slight smile on her face as she casually dismissed her sister. "I'm fine, Lulu, and my flashback was related to my mane." "Your mane, huh..." Luna took a sidelong look at Celestia's mane, and nodded slowly; she could understand having flashbacks to something horrible; heck, she still had flashbacks to the things she did as Nightmare Moon, such as eating apples...How could she do such a thing?! It only made sense that having a mane such as that would cause reoccurring flashbacks. "I'm sorry that you have such horrible flashbacks, then, Tia." "...Excuse me? Horrible flashbacks of what, exactly?" "...Your mane? The thing that looks like Discord barfed rainbows on, and then smeared around to create that thing you dare call a mane? I can understand why you'd have flashbacks about that, Tia. I know I would." Celestia did not take kindly to what Luna thought was the reason of her flashbacks, and began to retort. "T-That's rude, Lulu! I don't say that your mane looks like...Like..." Celestia fumbled around for words frantically, trying to give a retort about Luna's mane that was worse than 'rainbow barf'. Both princesses stood there for about three minutes when Luna sighed; sometimes, Celestia could take forever to think about something, never mind actually doing anything. "...You can't think of anything, can you, sister?" It took a fair while before Celestia finally sighed, and hung her head in defeat. "...No." "You always were terrible at making comebacks; anyway, sister; what is the story behind your mane? I think I liked it pink better than that...Thing; you honestly like that?" "Yes, I do, and, well, you see, Lulu, in the 'battle' against you...Nightmare Moon," (Celestia had not dared lift her hooves to strike back at her sister, and instead, merely defended herself while she retreated to the Elements of Harmony, so it wasn't technically a 'battle') "I was so tired from defending myself and from using the raw power of the Elements that no less than five minutes after I banished you...Nightmare Moon to the moon, I collapsed and fell asleep; unfortunately, or fortunately, in my case, I had fallen asleep on a patch of poison joke, the dreaded flower that many a pony takes great pains to avoid. "For some reason, instead of cursing me with some kind of sick, twisted joke, the only effect it had on me was to dye my mane in multiple colors; I can tell you, when I woke up and saw my reflection on an nearby piece of shattered glass, I was amazed and I wondered why my mane was suddenly such a vibrant hue of colors, when I was then suddenly rushed by a crowd of ponies cheering my name, admiring my new mane, and running through the very patch of poison joke I had slept on as I tried to make sense of all that was going on, in vain. I tell you, Lulu, it was a very confusing morning, which only turned into sadness as I realized that you'd be gone for a...Very long time. "The morning after that was pretty funny, considering the day before it, and I still remember it very clearly today; when my mane was back to its normal pink and all the ponies that had praised me yesterday had hilarious curses placed on them, it didn't take long for me to put two and two together. Now, instead of rolling around in a patch of poison joke, however, I have it specially processed into a shampoo, which I now lather into my mane with everyday in the shower. That, Lulu, is the story of my mane." A skeptical Luna mulled over Celestia's words for awhile before flatly frowning at her. "...This is a joke, right? A really, really bad joke? Has Discord been teaching you how to make really long and bad jokes that have a punchline weaker than your stomach when it comes to cake?" "...Discord has nothing to do with this, or me, my stomach is not that weak when it comes to cake, and why would I be joking about this, Lulu?" Luna rolled her eyes; she couldn't honestly take her sister's story seriously. "That story seems really, really dumb, no offense..." Celestia winced, and looked away from her sister. "Wow, that makes me feel so, so much better, Lulu." "Hey, you're the one that told me the dumb story." Celestia made a melodramatic sigh, and fell over on a conveniently placed sofa, scoring more dramatic points than Rarity ever could. "Your words wound me, Lulu! The only way to ease this pain you have caused me is a nice, moist, mouth watering slice of cake!" She decided to humor her sister; after all, she needed her breakfast anyway. "Sure, let's go to the kitchens, sister." The sofa disappeared, and Celestia got back up on her hooves. The two sisters then walked off towards the royal kitchens, ready to ravage whatever they could find to fill the empty void in their stomachs, much to the chefs' near horror. Author's Note Poison joke shampoo, results may vary This has to be canon Blueblood likes ice skating and being a cameo in the stories Third pony is fun, Tia!Third pony is fun, Tia! A rather carefree Luna hummed quietly to herself as she walked outside Canterlot; while she would usually have been sighted down immediately and crowded around with by ponies, she had taken the extra effort to disguise to herself, and as a result of that, she was little more than a navy-blue, teenage filly with a horn (the wings having been placed under an illusion spell) and some bits, looking around for something to eat. While it was true that the kitchens produced some fine food, it was usually high-class fare, and as much as Luna enjoyed eating it, 'lower' class food was something that she also enjoyed (the first time she had hayfries, she nearly cleaned out the restaurant completely), so she looked forward to getting something that 'common' ponies would eat. After finding a particularly unhealthy looking restaurant, she was happily beginning to munch on her quickly made, extremely greasy and equally unhealthy tray of hay fries. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that a small crowd of fillies and colts were gathered around something. Curious, she took a moment to levitate her hay shake (yet another unhealthy concoction that she loved) to her mouth to take a small sip from before walking towards them, wondering why they were in such a slowly increasing group. The answer was given when she saw that the fillies and colts were gathered around a unicorn, showing rather impressive illusion magics and tricks. While Luna knew most of what the unicorn was doing (having invented these spells originally for combat and deceiving purposes against her sister), she nevertheless clapped with the fillies and colts, proud of the fact that ponies were still using the things she made, even if it was for something as trivial as entertaining other ponies. After a particularly impressive display of fireworks, the unicorn bowed, and smiled an extremely proud smile before speaking for the first time, in a manner that interested Luna. "Thank you, thank all for coming to Trixie's magic show! You may show your appreciation for her by donating bits to her if you enjoyed her show! Sadly, The Great and Powerful Trixie is tired now, but don't fret, fillies and colts, she'll be back tomorrow!" The former groans from the fillies and colts gave way to cheers as Trixie bowed once more, and the parents of the children tossed a few bits into a jar laid out on stage; Luna tossed ten in, unconcerned about her money, and wondering why the mare referred to herself in what happened to sound like a more modern version of the Royal We. This was something to inquire about! She followed the unicorn, and before she climbed into what appeared to be a wagon, Luna cleared her throat, catching the attention of Trixie; the unicorn sighed, and walked up to her, clearly agitated for some reason. She got off the steps to her wagon, and looked over Luna with a critical eye. "Yes, what do you want from the Great and Powerful Trixie? Autographs? She don't see any paper or a pen on you. Magic lessons? Not at this moment, for she is tired, and she does not think she could find the time anyway to train an apprentice. She trusts you have something else to ask?" Luna was a bit startled by the unicorn's straightforward and somewhat cold behavior towards her, but at least it wasn't as cold as some of the nobles. In fact, she could say that compared to them, this unicorn seemed polite, which was saying a lot. "I'm interested about something else, Trixie, was it?" "The Great and Powerful Tri-" Luna nodded quickly, and spoke over Trixie; sometimes, it was best to not let a pony finish what they were saying, lest they go off on an extremely long-winded monologue. "Yes yes, the Great and Powerful Trixie, I actually wanted to ask you a question." "What is this question that you wish to ask Trixie?" "Why do you speak like that?" A confused Trixie stared blankly at her before speaking. "Like what?" "Calling yourself 'her' and 'she' and never using 'I', as if you were another pony entirely, talking about another. Why do you do that?" Trixie looked around for a moment before shrugging, and gave Luna a short explanation. "Trixie saw ponies in days of old refer to themselves as 'thou' or 'thy', as well as a few eccentric ponies talking about themselves as if they were another pony; Trixie decided that what Trixie saw, Trixie liked, and has been speaking like this ever since then, she supposes. She calls it 'third pony'. Now, if you'll excuse Trixie, she needs some bed rest." Trixie walked back up to her wagon, opened up the door with quite a nasty squeak, and closed the door with that same grating squeaking noise. Luna was left alone to mull her thoughts over as she drank a little bit more from her hay shake as she retreated to a more secluded alleyway; it was quite interesting to see how this Trixie had decided on a unique speech patten for herself. Once she was finished with the hay shake, she threw it away into a nearby trash bin, and concentrated on some magic; with a pop, she teleported back into the castle, and she shed her disguise before walking out towards her courtroom. It would be amusing to see how Tia would react to a sudden change in speech... Speak of the alicorn, slap her rump and give her a banana, here comes Celestia right now! Luna waved at her sister, remembering her previous thought, and decided that now would be as good a time as ever to begin speaking in this 'third pony' that Trixie had talked about; it wouldn't be that hard, at least, she hoped it wouldn't be. "Hello, Tia!" Okay, so maybe she couldn't start right off. "Hello, Lulu. How are you?" Here goes nothing! "Luna is doing fine, Tia! She asks if it is the same for you!" A look of confusion spread on Celestia's face, and she slapped a hoof to her head in disappointment, completed with a sigh. "Lulu? Are you already reverting back to the Royal We? We worked hard on this! Nooooo!" Luna shook her head, and frowned at her sister before replying, "No! Lulu is speaking in the third pony, and she is confused on whether or not she is doing it right!" Although unnoticeable by any other pony, there was a hidden glint in Luna's eyes, confirming Celestia's suspicions that this was a joke. Catching onto Luna's little game, Celestia was a little miffed, but she thought it was pretty funny, and so, after a short moment, she decided to play along with her. "Well, Tia is quite certain that Lulu is speaking in third pony correctly, for now!" An opened mouthed Luna stared at her, and Celestia winked mischievously. "What? Did Lulu think that she could pull a fast one over Tia?" "...Yes, Lulu thought she could." "Well, Tia thinks that while Lulu made a good attempt, nothing gets by her older sister, Tia!" Luna scowled at her before cuffing her sister. "Lulu supposes so; Tia knows Lulu too much!" A fit of giggles overtook her before she breathed out, "Third pony is fun, Tia!" Celestia returned the cuff in good humor. "Tia supposes it is," she chirped as she cuffed her sister back; as she did so, however, an idea came to mind. "Hey, Tia has an idea!" "Lulu wonders what that might be, Tia." "Tia thinks that we should talk to our own courts like this!" "Yes! That sounds like a good plan, Tia!" So, the two went off on their on separate ways with the intent on speaking third pony to their own respective courts. Author's Note I wanted some Trixie so now there's some Trixie The nobles later on would be severely confused, and begin panicking, screaming about Nightmare Moon and Sunshine Rays (Celestia's supposed evil persona, created in some teen romance novel) banding together to take over Equestria and throw it to chaos, where Discord would then be the supreme ruler of all Luna likes unhealthy food Heck no, Lulu!Heck no, Lulu! There wasn't much that Celestia needed in life; in fact, being immortal, you happened to lose interest in most physical things. The only things that Celestia wanted was food, and plushies. Starting from Starswirl, she had a plushie made of every personal student that she had the privilege to teach, and she took pristine care of them, to try and make them last as long as her. Of course, that wasn't going to be the case, but she could always have new ones made, and she liked plushies. Of course, eventually, there was a problem with that. Celestia liked things down to the minute detail, and that often meant making the plushies life-sized. While this wasn't a problem for the first ten plushies, she was beginning to feel a bit cramped by the twenty-fourth, and was desperately looking for another place to put these plushies away in her room by the seventieth. They were now in a large storage area, but every time, Celestia couldn't help but shudder whenever she had flashbacks to what she now called the 'plushie invasion of her room'. At this very moment, in fact, Celestia was heading towards the very storage area that held all five million plushies. She cherished this area above all her physical possessions, and guarded it with a combination of state of the art security systems and magical barriers and traps, both working together in harmony to guard this most sacred area of Celestia's. Only alicorns could bypass all these security measures, and Celestia was fairly certain that Luna had no idea that this place even existed; a thousand years was a good amount of time to hide something from your sister. "Oh, don't you worry, my plushies, momma's coming for you~" Celestia sang as she twirled about the hallway. This hallway, however, was not your ordinary hallway, as it had traps that would activate at a moments notice if the pony striding down the hallway wasn't an alicorn. Rocket propelled muffins, turrets that would pop out from the walls, firing streams of licorice, and the floor would turn into quicksand; all that and many more defensive systems that were known only to Celestia were in place, and she danced down it like she didn't care. Eventually, there was one final defense in her way; it was a simple looking door that seperated her from the plushies. It wasn't simple at all, though, despite its look; this was a four hoof-lengthed thick wall of steel, and unless you had explosives (and lots of them), you weren't getting through; although, you could simply be an alicorn with a long enough horn to use the horn lock in the middle of the door. Deciding to do just that, Celestia lowered her head slightly, and carefully slid her horn into the lock completely, waiting for the door to accept the horn. A short moment passed before a 'ding' was heard, and after Celestia removed her horn from the lock, the door began to slowly open, revealing to Celestia the magical plushies stored inside. Squeeing with glee, Celestia bounded into the room, and picked up a random plushie, a stallion, and she was hugging it tightly. "Oh, Hammerjack, I've missed you so! Why, without your wonderful invention of the hammer that was originally made to crush the skulls of the enemies of Equestria, I wouldn't have nailed, carpeted floors! Oh, I wake up every morning to those carpets, which stay snugly in place thanks to your hammer and some nails!" She set Hammerjack down, and ran forward to greet another pony, a pegasus mare, pressing her hoof to the plushie's nose gently. "Boopsie! You were the very first pony that wasn't so scared of me, and even teased me! Ponies to this day still 'boop' each other on the nose after seeing you do it to me without getting fried to a crisp!" She levitated the mare away, and ran forward around the plushies to hug two ponies together, which were near identical in looks and only differed from each other by a small stripe down their tails and manes. It didn't help that they had equally sounding names, either. "Mia! Nia! It's so good to see you two rascals again! All those jokes you two played on me were both aggravating and funny! Oh...If only you could've met Luna. She'd have enjoyed collaborating with you to create some of the greatest pranks ever! There's so much more that we should have done together..." The sudden clop of hooves hitting the floor alerted Celestia, and with a scream of rage, her mane and tail blew up in flames. After turning around, she stared down the pony that managed to enter her most private sanctuary, her shrine to her five million life sized plushies, and spoke in low, threatening tone, with a cackle of electricity running around. She did not take kindly to ponies sneaking up on her, even more so in the most sacred of places. "HOW DARE YOU TO HAVE ENTERED MY MOST SACRE-" "Tia?" Upon hearing Luna's voice, the cackle of electricity disappeared, her mane and tail blew out, and Celestia's anger melted away to confusion. "Lulu? What are you doing here?" "I got bored, and started following you; you have...A lot of plushies, sister." Celestia followed her sister's gaze around the storage room, and nodded, smiling. "Five million plushies, Luna, of past students and ponies that have contributed something amazing to Equestria. Building a monument for every one of these ponies would be too expensive, and not many ponies would know why they would be praised for something so simple; instead, I have plushies of them made, so that I can remember and praise them what they have done for Equestria myself. Erm, how did you get past my defenses? How did you even find this place, anyway?" Luna smirked at her sister, clearly amused by the questions Celestia asked, and took the time to make a quick shot at her sister. "Well, it's not hard following a rump as large as yours, Tia! I also have some invisibility spells and noise-dampening spells, which I used to great effect. Anyway, after I followed you, I saw this sign that said that only alicorns could walk down this hallway. I'm obviously an alicorn, sister." As her sister was rethinking the idea of an 'alicorn-only' defense system, Luna looked around the gigantic storeroom, with all the plushies assembled, and couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the presence of all these plushies; they all had a story behind them, with accomplishments of making either some of the more mundane inventions in Equestria that she couldn't bear to live without (bubble baths were absolutely delightful) to more complex things that were purely for show (such as that 'defense' system she just walked past). "...All these ponies contributed to Equestria? Every last single one of them? Five...Million of them, you said there were?" "Yes, five million of them, and all have bettered Equestria in some way, shape or form!" Luna continued looking around the storage unit for a moment, then slowly wrapped her hooves around one of the plushies, which happened to be a replica of Rainbow Dash; she squeezed it gently as she asked her sister a question. "May I take this on-" "Heck no, Lulu!" "Tiiiiiiiiiia!" Celestia shot her sister a glare that made Luna whimper, and she lifted up one of the plushie's wings to hide her face from. The cute sight of Luna hiding behind a plushie's wing softened Celestia's anger, and she strode up to Luna, levitating a plushie in the likeness of Lyra (this plushie was made because Celestia enjoyed watching the unicorn bashing her lyre over Blueblood's head), and she sat next to Luna, with a slight smile on her face as she gently poked Luna's side with Lyra's horn. "You won't be able to take them, Lulu, but we can play with the plushies here." Luna looked up from under plushie dash's wing, and offered a smile at her sister. "Play, with the plushies? All of them?" "Why, yes, if we have the time to play toget-" "Then let's start now, sister!" Author's Note All the names of the OC plushies seem off to me Celestia likes plushies, decided to make a story on that Luna is confused and wants some plushies Not all of Celestia's students were unicorns, but all of them have had some extraordinary power compared to peers Totally not RD x Luna shipping Shining Armor is weirder, Lulu!Shining Armor is weirder, Lulu! What a beautiful day in the crystal empire! Celestia hummed to herself as she walked over to the dining room in the crystal castle, and sat herself down; while Luna was holding the fort down in Canterlot (she hoped that there was a castle to return to), she was off paying her niece and her nephew-in-law a little visit to see how things were going. One of her immediate concerns were the sudden 'crystallization' process her body and mane went through, but it was quickly written off as a temporary thing that would wear off when she left the empire. This land was a very strange, yet beautiful part of Equestria, and she had not had much time in the past to experience its pleasant atmosphere. A servant stopped by, making rather audible noise with his hooves to get her attention. Tradition, too, seemed different here, as while the servants here were loud and visible, her servants were usually hiding away and were very quiet. "Princess Celestia, is there anything that you desire from the kitchens?" Celestia nodded with a polite smile, and gave a rather simple list of what she wanted; sometimes, a simple breakfast was all you needed to start the day well. "A plate of waffles, twenty stacks high, and some syrup, please, with a cup of water." The servant nodded, bowed, and promptly went through the large kitchen doors to relay the order that he received, not a hint of amazement about how many waffles he was asked to bring her. She only had to wait a short while before her plate of waffles, a large bottle of syrup and a cup of water came by, something that pleased her greatly. "Thank you!" Once the servant left, she levitated the bottle of syrup up to the top of the imposing stack of waffles, and poured the syrup, her eyes taking in the way how the syrup would pool in the squares of the waffles before overflowing and moving onto the next square; how the syrup would slither down the sides of the imposing stack of waffles, drenched in the sweet, thick liquid that completed every waffle and pancake. It was like staring at heaven itself, if heaven were a stack of sweet, sticky waffles. Wait, what? She swore that somepony stole the first ten waffles right under her nose, because she didn't remember eating them. She only just noticed the syrup around her muzzle and the still clean fork next to her side when Shining Armor came in through the door, a tired smile on his face. Oh, hey, it's Princess Celestia! "Ah, Princess Celestia! It's been awhile." He sat down at the table, just across from her, and gave a lazy salute. The princess wiped her messy face with a napkin, which only helped slightly, and grinned at him. "Indeed it has, Shining Armor! Care to join me for some breakfast?" He nodded, and looked at the stack of waffles that had been demolished, then at the alicorn that was eating them. "Looks like some alicorn has been busy eating; servant!" A servant quickly came from the kitchens, this time, a mare, waiting for his orders. "I'd like a stack of five waffles, please, and two glasses of orange juice." The mare nodded, and went back into the kitchen. No syrup? Celestia, meanwhile, finished gobbling down her seventeenth waffle (this time, using the previously clean fork) before making a comment about the lack of syrup in his order. "Did you forget to ask for some syrup as well, Shining Armor?" "Why yes I...What, princess?" "So you did forget! Don't worry, I'm sure there's enough syrup left in this little container for your measly little stack of five waffles." She levitated the bottle of syrup over to him, though her action was stopped as Shining Armor lit up his own horn; at first, she thought it was to take the syrup bottle from her, though it was to actually repel the bottle away from him. Perplexed, Celestia tried once again, only to be pushed back a little more firmly by Shining Armor. "Shining Armor, what is the meaning of this? Do you expect me to believe you can eat waffles without syrup?" To her horror and dismay, her former captain of the guard (you can't expect him to protect two princesses at the same time who just so happen to be living miles away from each other) nodded slowly, which caused her to slam a hoof down on the table with such force that she left a sizeable dent into the crystalwork. The servant that was delievering Shining Armor's plate of waffles dropped the plate in front of him hastily before leaving for the kitchens, obviously not wanting to be near the two in case sparks flew. ...This isn't going to end well for me, is it? I'm sorry, Caddy! After clearing his throat audibly, Shining Armor carefully asked Celestia if she was alright. "...Princess, is there something troubling you?" He has to be lying. "Prove it." "...What? Prove what to you, exactly?" "Prove you can eat waffles without syrup. That should not be possible for anypony!" Shining Armor looked as he were going to say something, then shrugged as he levitated his fork; then, to Celestia's horror, he actually began eating the waffles. Without syrup, butter, without...Anything on it! Shining Armor continued to munch on his waffles, clearly amused by Celestia's reaction to him eating waffles without syrup. For a princess, she's certainly very silly! "I don't like syrup, Celestia; it's too thick and has too much sugar in it. I'd rather eat my waffles plain." "...That, Lulu, is when I whacked Shining Armor over the head with a stop sign, to show him that you should put syrup on your waffles! Shining Armor is weirder, Lulu! At least Cadence actually has an excuse to not dip cookies into milk; Shining Armor just doesn't want to put syrup on his waffles!" ...What? Luna stared at her sister impassively for a moment before deciding to focus on the one part of the story that didn't make any sense to her. "Where did you get the stop sign, Tia?" ...Where did I get the stop sign? Celestia sighed, and her hoof met her face. "Does that really matter, Lulu?! Shining Armor cannot eat waffles without syrup!" Oh, for the love of... Luna snapped at her sister, getting a bit annoyed at how her sister was blowing things out of proportion. "I can understand his plight, sister! Syrup really is a bit too thick and sugary once you think about it!" Snapping back, Celestia still refused to believe that ponies could eat waffles without syrup. "I eat it just fine, Lulu! I don't find it that thick! Why should anypony else?" "You're different because you practically inhale your waffles without even remembering you even ate them in the first place!" The solar princess opened her mouth to deny that, when she remembered the first ten waffles suddenly disappearing in front of her. Darn it. "I...will not argue with you on that." "Let's agree on one thing both, sister." Celestia leaned in slightly, interested in what Luna had to say. "Agree on what, Lulu?" "That Shining Armor and Cadence are both weird." I'm not entirely sure that Cadence is weird, but better to not argue that with her. "Agreed!" Luna nodded, satisfied of their agreement, and smiled. "Shall we go to a jacuzzi and relax in a tub of molten chocolate with marshmallows and floating rubber ducks?" "That would be wonderful, Lulu!" Author's Note First dual chapter release There is a part one to this You did read that first right The hypocrisy at Luna's statement when compared to themselves I am not, Tia!I am not, Tia! Luna sighed as she bit into a piece of toast while levitating the morning (in her case, night) paper up in front of her, wondering what was worthy enough to be put on the headlines. Ponies today seem to be more dramatic than the ones in the past; honestly, the front page was full of drivel about somepony losing a bet! Admittedly it was Blueblood that lost the bet, but come on, did that really have to be on the front page, or in the newspaper at all? It was just him eating 'commoner' food as a result of losing the bet, and THAT was on the front page? Three pages into the newspaper was an amazingly small article about a fire in Canterlot that had destroyed a bakery and could have spread even further if it wasn't for the brave firefighting ponies! How could that not have been on the front page?! Luna had almost given up on finding anything else of worthwhile interest in the paper when she realized that there was one section that she hadn't read yet; the funnies. She allowed herself a small smile as she flipped over to them, and browsed through the comics, enjoying the humor that the ponies who made these little divine tidbits. Her browsing ended almost abruptly when she turned the page to see the 'gossip' section; she had mixed feelings about it. On one hoof, it was almost assured that she would find nothing but complete garbage in here; on the other hoof, she knew gossip to be completely outrageous at times (Celestia was a changeling? She very nearly died laughing on the spot after reading that particular line of gossip), so it might not have hurt to take a little peek to try and satisfy her sense of humor. As expected, most of the gossip she found was nothing but pure nonsense and garbage, sometimes even a combination of both. Snorting, she was about to toss the paper away and finish her breakfast when she noticed one of the lines mentioning her name off the corner of her eye; perplexed, she scanned the line of gossip, wondering what it had to do with her. Immediately after finishing the line, Luna stood bolt upright, knocking over her chair, rattling the table, and scaring the maid that was clearing away the empty dishes of toast (ten in all, Luna loved her toast) that Luna had already eaten; Luna noticed this, and frowned. Ponies are still scared of me, it seems. "Err...We...I am sorry, maid, but I was surprised by something, and that something has me very offended. I hope I didn't scare you too much." Judging by how the maid had reacted, Luna knew that she did in fact scare the maid senseless, though the maid didn't answer back with words, but with a simple shaking of her head; ponies were such terrible liars now, as well. What she wouldn't give for ponies to tell the truth! It was hard to tell if a pony wanted you to do this, or do that! Sighing, she levitated a napkin to clean her face of crumbs before setting it down on top of one of the dirty plates the maid had yet to collect yet. "We are...I am going to find my sister, and discuss some things with her before she goes to sleep." Without waiting for an answer from the maid, Luna quickly made her exit from the dining room, and began to walk towards her sister's room, newspaper with her. She gave a slight nod or a murmured 'hello' to anypony that passed by her, though she quickly cut off anypony wanting to say anything more than a simple greeting. Time was of the essence, because if Celestia went to sleep now, there would be no power within her ability to wake Celestia up. Upon arriving at her sister's door, she shooed the two guards away, then knocked upon it three times, waiting for her sister to open the door. A few minutes passed before Luna knocked on the door two times, frustrated, Luna pulled a hoof back, ready to punch through her sister's door if that meant that she'd get her attention. Unfortunately, she swung her hoof the moment a tired and bleary eyed Celestia opened the door; this meant that Luna had just clobbered her own sister, who was now sprawled out on the floor from the sudden and unwanted pain. Oh. "Tia! I'm so, so sorry!" "...Get the license number of that flying poptart..." Luna's look of worry morphed into one of confusion, as she tried to make sense of what her sister had just said. "...What? Tia, have you been indulging in the royal wine cellars without informing me?" Celestia sighed, allowing herself to wallow in her pain for a moment before answering her sister. "Oh, my snout...Luna? Is that you?" Despite the fact that she just punched her sister squarely in the snout, she couldn't help but snort at Celestia's question; of course it was her! It wasn't as if there were any others that were like her. "No, Tia, I'm the other alicorn that just happens to look like your sister. We take turns lowering the moon!" Great, now she's being smart with me. "Very funny, Lulu...Ow." Celestia groaned as she got off the floor, rubbing her snout gingerly as she frowned at Luna. "Do you mind telling me why you began knocking on my door the moment I just laid down in my bed, and then flooring me?" "This!" Luna held up the newspaper, and Celestia leaned in, squinting at the newspaper. "...Prince Blueblood seen to painting graffiti on a statue of me in Canterlot public park in plain sight...?" "Yes, that's...Wait, what?" Her confusion was turned into hurt as Celestia hugged her sister tightly, with evident joy radiating off her. "Yay! I'm glad my nephew picked up some courage and painted that horrid hack-job of a statue!" "Erm, T-Tia?" "Hm?" "You're crushing me again." "Oh, I'm sorry, Lulu!" Celestia promptly let go of Luna, who grumbled as she ignored the pain of having her bones suddenly compressed against her will. I'm alive... "...It's..Ow...Alright, Tia. That's not I wanted you to see, however. Take a look at this!" She pointed at a certain line of gossip, and Celestia read through it, raising an eyebrow at Luna when she was finished. "...Luna has a crazy obsesson with moon pies?" Luna nodded, and stamped a hoof down on the ground, cracking the unfortunate marble floor and causing Celestia to wince at the sound; Luna still had yet to notice the bits being drained from the treasury because of their antics and the fact that they were destroying the castle. In fact, that was the reason why they abandoned the first castle in the Everfree; Luna and Celestia then made a rule to never rough-house with each other over a chocolate bar. "We...I do not have an obsession with moon pies!" Celestia made a disbelieving snort. "That's all you ever eat when it comes to snack time." Luna sighed, and shook her head; the line of gossip in the newspaper was bad enough, she was not going to take this from her sister as well! "I still deny the obsession!" "Everypony sees you eating moon pies." "So?! You're always seen eating cake." Celestia's temper wasn't improving; she needed her sleep, not an argument with her sister. "I don't deny eating cake, and...You...Made a shrine, dedicated to moon pies, in PLAIN sight, for EVERYPONY to see; I'm not THAT obsessed with cake as you are with moon pies. Give it up, Lulu." Luna sighed, and looked sheepishly at Celestia, who was leaning slightly on her doorway, giving her the 'Well, Lulu?' kind of look that meant that she was waiting for a response. "...Perhaps I do have a slight...Inclination towards moon pies..." "Slight inclination? Face it, you're obsessed with moon pies, Lulu." "I am not, Tia!" Author's Note Celestia is a heavy sleeper Luna hates gossip What else am I missing Ha Ha, very funny, Lulu!Ha Ha, very funny, Lulu! Well, this is new. Outwardly, Celestia sighed and looked disturbed as she looked over the damage reports that prince Blueblood had caused; graffiti on the walls, charged with the assault and battery of Philomena, and somehow hijacking a truck full of cinnamon buns with a broom and a paperclip with some accomplice playing the saxophone in the background, only to park the truck right outside his home, where he was found gorging on cinnamon buns at four o'clock in the morning with the sound of quiet sax being played nearby. Inwardly, however, she was jealous and happy for Blueblood; he was finally living the life! No more was he hidden underneath that stuffy, princey persona! Though, there was a touch of jealousy, as he was doing all the things she wanted to, and she knew that if she ever tried to do the things he did here, the whole nation would have been shocked to the core about the 'prim and proper' princess doing such depraved things. Thank you for giving me a little bit of humor today, nephew. She wrote off Blueblood's charges, even if it meant paying out of her own pocket for a little damage to Canterlot and a few scarred ponies that had their opinions about Blueblood changed; the one thing her nephew wouldn't get out of, though, was the talk she was going to have with him about laying low and being discreet next time. Things were only fun when you could get away with it. That, and if there was an actual point in doing things like this, only to get easily caught later; criminal activities weren't exactly the best place to go to for fun, especially if the cinnamon buns you stole were supposed to be a part of her breakfast. Woo! I need a break for all this. Afterwards, Celestia stood up from her desk, and exited her study room; after all, reading such a humorous report after that? There was no way she'd be able to go back to paperwork after that! She'd just dump her work on her sister. Luna might grumble at her, but that was nothing a moon pie couldn't fix. Or a little bit of tickle torture. It's so warm today...Perfect! As she passed by a window, she stretched her wings out in joy as the warmth from her sun touched her for the first time in a few hours; she disliked being confined to her study, though that was mostly her fault. Still, she really needed to get out more, and she spent a few moments standing out there, letting her sun seep through into her fur. At least, until a voice called her out on it. "Are you a statue, or my sister?" The sound of the mocking voice made Celestia roll her eyes as she played along with this pony's joke. "I'm the statue of Celestia, the one and only princess of cake!" Celestia folded her wings back in, and turned around at the sound of the voice, which, of course, happened to be none other than Luna, who stuck her tongue out at her before cuffing Celestia gently, which was replicated by her sister. The two giggled softly together before Luna spoke up, with a curious glint in her eyes. "So, why are you out of your study, Tia? I thought that you said today's papers were going to be more demanding than usual." You don't know the half of it. Celestia nodded, and vaguely waved a hoof over at her study, disgruntled about her work. "Even so, after reading a particularly hilarious report, I feel inclined to relax after reading it; it leaves a better taste in my mouth than relaxing after reading some fifty page proposal about growing apples on clouds and how it would benefit the pegasai." "...Is that even possible? Growing trees on clouds, I mean." "I don't know if it is, Lulu, but I'd feel safer knowing that the cloud I'm flying under won't suddenly drop an apple tree on me." Luna snorted, and began walking down the hallway, followed closely by Celestia, who was still thinking about Blueblood's deeds earlier this morning; Luna noticed her sister's thoughts occupied elsewhere, and sighed. Her sister could be so concentrated on her thoughts that she wasn't able to see what was in front of her; Luna stopped as Celestia continued walking forward, into a set of very heavy, and from the sound, very hurtful pair of oak doors. Celestia, zero, oak doors, one, as one could tell from the sprawled out alicorn in front of the doors. Celestia, after being so immersed in her thoughts, was a little bit loopy and tried to figure out what just happened to her, though probably not in the best of ways. "...Mommy, did Lulu drop a piano on me again?" Snorting, Luna dryly commented as she walked up to her sister, helping her back up to her hooves. "The mighty oak doors have defeated you in mortal combat, sister, and now they ask to be the sole rulers of Equestria while we languish in chains in some backwater dungeon. How could you, Tia?! Equestria was depending on you to save us all from the oak doors!" My sister, the comedian. "Ha ha, very funny, Lulu!" Celestia shot her a glare as she tried to push open the doors, to no avail; she sighed, and kicked at the doors, only to get a smarting pain in her hoof. "Ow! Why won't this darn door open?!" Luna took a long look at her sister before she gave her a simple answer for such a simple question. "Pull." Celestia looked confused by the simple answer, and voiced it as such with an equally simple question. "What?" Is it not obvious enough? Luna tried again, gesturing towards the door as she said her answer. "Pull." Lulu... Celestia fumed; she was getting nowhere with Luna's games, so she decided to be a little more specific. "Pull what?" OH FOR FAUST'S SAKE... With a groan, Luna decided to physically show her sister what she meant. Grasping onto one of the handles, she pulled the door open, flatly explaining to her sister, "Pull the door." "...And that is why I now have the imprint of a stop sign on my rump, with brick debris all over my body and some chewed up gum in my mane." Luna finished explaining to one prince Blueblood, who smirked and tried to contain his giggling; Luna rolled her eyes, and walked off, smarting from the pain from her rump getting hit by a stop sign swung at a good eighty miles per hour, had bricks thrown at her, and had gum forcibly stuck to her mane by a raging Princess Celestia, who then afterwards cried herself to sleep due to being bested by giant oak doors. Author's Note Celestia loves imprinting stop signs on rumps Gum stuck in your hair is terrible I need to write more Blueblood interaction Tia now has a hatred for doors, specifically oak ones This is art, Tia!This is art, Tia! Ugh. Today was boring; why did cheap thrills and fun have to be so fleeting and far inbetween? Luna would have killed to have Discord's power for her own, if it meant she could have some fun on a whim. Though, she'd probably then be the new god(dess) of chaos, placed into stone, and...Well, she didn't want that. Things had their drawbacks, it seemed. Sighing, she continued to walk through what was considered to be the most artistic museum in Canterlot, the 'Museum of the creative works of all sentient beings. It contained everything from the wild yet refined paintings of the buffalo to the 'art' of the ramblings and chicken scratch of some of the most insane ponies to have ever existed, and even poetry written by lovesick mules over seaponies existed here. It also meant that she was extremely bored. She liked art, make no mistake, but she liked art that was new, brilliant, dazzling, something she wouldn't usually have stopped to look at and even consider it art; now, that was what she liked to see from ponies. Not this...Boring canvas in front of her depicting a mare eating an app-. She decided to let the name of the accursed 'fruit' go unfinished, and she inwardly shuddered as she quickly left the painting. In fact, to heck with this museum, she was getting out! Ponies looked away from the paintings to see Luna stride out the doors with a bang, and take in a deep breath of clean, fresh air; finally, away from the stuffiness and boring tones of colorful yet very bland art inside of the museum! Once outside, she began walking around Canterlot, not particularly looking for anything or anypony. She was bowed to and asked if she needed anything, of course, but for the most part, she was ignored. That was great! It meant she could walk down the streets of Canterlot without her thoughts being interrupted. Unfortunately, that was not to be, as she heard the rattle of a spray can, and then the telltale sound of it being sprayed. Oh, a graffiti artist is nearby, working on their craft! Luna began walking towards the sound quietly, not wanting to disturb the artist. Graffiti! The only 'art' around that I've come to appreciate! While Luna was interested in the study of art, a thousand years of it hadn't really changed much. Graffiti, however, was the exception; it was new, clean, fresh; it was amazing, it was bold, it was...Graffiti. It had a certain charm to it, one that a pony could see in its bright colors and the messages it could convey to somepony. As she rounded the corner, she saw a stallion dressed up in a hoodie (with the hood on) and jeans, covering up most of his body (which included his cutie mark), and a backpack off to the side, which was open for the world to see. Upon closer inspection, Luna saw that it was full of spray cans, each of a different color. So many spray cans for a single picture! Her view then switched to what the stallion was making, and she placed a hoof to her mouth, trying not to giggle. Now, graffiti in Canterlot was usually made to express an idea, thought, or emotion. Obviously, this stallion was conveying emotion, as he was spray painting a hilariously inappropriate picture of Celestia and with much emphasis on her rump and for some odd reason, macaroni and cheese. Her giggling could not be held back, as it was far too strong, and the stallion tensed, realizing that he was not alone. He looked over towards the sound, and, simultaneously, he dropped the spray can in his magical grasp and his eyes widened as he saw who was watching him. Luna's eyes, too, widened, and she stopped giggling as she saw the face of the stallion, just barely through his hood. Is that...? "Bluebloo-" I am in so much trouble. "Auntie Lu-" Both had spoken at the same time, and both stopped. This is quite an awkward situation, Luna mused with a slightly amused smile. After a short, awkward moment between the two, Luna spoke up. "So...Erm, nephew..." "Yes, auntie?" Both ponies continued to awkwardly stare at each other, not knowing what this meant for either them; Luna scuffed her hooves on the street before smiling, and levitated a can of spray paint over to herself. Oh, what the hay, I might as well get into the spirit! "Can you teach me how to do this?" Blueblood had a slow, uncertain smile cross his face, and he picked up the spray can he dropped, shaking it for a moment before returning to his 'art'. Whew! "Of course, auntie!" Luna hummed quietly to herself as she worked alongside Blueblood, helping him to 'paint' an even more obscene picture of Celestia doing unspeakable things to a cake. It felt...Oddly refreshing to be doing this, especially next to her nephew, who she didn't really give much thought to. She rattled her spray can for a moment before adding an extra layer of yellow onto the cake, and Blueblood stepped back to admire their latest piece of work. "I daresay that even Celestia wouldn't be able to miss this!" "Quite right, nephew; I certainly can't miss this." Uh oh. Luna promptly dropped the spray can and turned around to see Blueblood cowering like a wimp in front of Celestia, who had a frown on her face. She pointed at the latest piece of 'art' the two did, and sighed. "I was worried about where you went off to, Luna, but I can see that I didn't really have to worry. What is this?" This is bad, this is really bad. "Erm. This is art, Tia!" Celestia raised an eyebrow, and took a good, long look at what Luna considered 'art'. "Art...Of me doing such a...Crude thing to a cake? Do you really think I'd burn a cake?" "Well...To be fair, it is a banana cake." Celestia groaned, and brought the hoof that was formerly pointing at the 'painting' to her face. "Of all the things you two could have been doing...Do you know what happens now, Lulu?" NOT THE MOON NOT THE MOON NOT THE MOON "...No?" "Take a guess, then." Luna slowly began to back away further into the alleyway, wanting to distance herself from Celestia and her surefire retribution on her. "Oh, please don't send me to the moon for another thousand years!" "Oh, please, I would never think of sending you to the moon again, Lulu!" Then...What? "Then what are you going to do, Tia?" Luna blinked when her sister grabbed a spray can, and grinned wolfishly. "I think it's my turn to make some 'art' of you two doing unspeakable things." Blueblood looked over at Luna, and winced as he got back up on his hooves. "This isn't going to end well for the both of us, is it, auntie Lulu?" "I can only hope it won't, Blueblood." Author's Note Blueblood is the number one graffiti artist in Canterlot Luna likes art Celestia also likes art I'm bad at golf, Lulu!I'm bad at golf, Lulu! There were some pretty interesting things that Celestia had done over the years to keep herself entertained; things such as bungee jumping (sure, she was terrified the entire time, but it was exhilarating), eating (a pleasure that was all too easily completed too soon and would slight her figure if she ate too much), and shark slaying with a spark plug on the shoulders of Daring Do while she was riding a bicycle on a tightrope (she wasn't sure if that actually happened or if that piece of foreign cake had disagreed with her). Yes, many things were attempted to relieve her of her boredom, though none had as spectacular (and horrifying) results as sports. Celestia kept this in mind as she bit her tongue softly, squinting her eyes as she looked over at her target, a flag placed quite aways in a hole, where she was expected to drive this golf ball into. Quite a distance! She never understood the concept of golf, and why it was played; after all, it just felt so boring, watching a pony swing at a tiny ball in an attempt to land it in an equally small hole. Still, it seemed pretty easy enough. Just hit the ball! Well, that, and hope it landed somewhat near the hole. C'mon, Tia, this is easy. "Yeah, just hit the ball with a stick," Celestia muttered to herself quietly, levitating a nine iron from the bag that encased her golfing equipment, "it should be really simple for me to hit the ball with a stick, I've done it plenty of times! Well, technically, I was hitting stress balls with a baseball bat, trying to get them to smash against Blueblood's windows, but it's the same concept!" She took a look nearby, and saw her sister, lounging by the golf cart (which happened to be completely unnecessary and redundant since they could just fly or teleport to the other holes), eating what happened to look like a cherry popsicle. Cherry...Popsicle... Hurry up, already! "Hey, Tia! We're still on the first hole! Why haven't you gone yet?!" Luna called out, continuing to lick at the cold treat. She never did understand why her sister was so reluctant to play sports; she wasn't that bad when she used to play hockey. She only caused thirty injuries, a pile up, caught the referee on fire, destroyed half the stadium and initiated an all out brawl between the two teams; that was normal! Her sister didn't seem to think so, however, and went back to playing ping pong by herself. Celestia sighed as she adjusted her visor slightly to try and block more of her own sun from her eyes, and was only partially successful. She was going to have a long, strict talk with her sun after this. Eyeing the popsicle in her sister's grasp with great longing, she did the only thing one could in this situation, whine. "Luluuuuuu! Can't you go first?! I want to go get a popsicle!" That cold treat looks divine right now. Unfortunately for Celestia, Luna shook her head, and took one long, exaggerated lick of the popsicle, giving her the luxury of having caused her sister to fume inwardly. "So sorry, Tia, but this is the last one! I took the liberty of taking it right before we left. Don't worry, though, I'm sure there'll be more when we come back from the golf course!" Luna did not like the glare that was shot at her, and it suddenly felt like it got a few degrees warmer; that was Celestia, for you. She hastily began to continue licking at her popsicle, not wanting it to melt into a little puddle of sweet, red liquid onto the grass because of (in hindsight) foolishly annoying Celestia. Clearly annoyed now, Celestia very nearly crushed the nine iron in her magical grasp, and growled as she looked at the tiny golf ball. "We'd better finish this now, then..." With something akin to the roar of a manticore, Celestia screamed as she swung at the tiny golf ball, sending it flying with the strength that many ponies would give a limb for. Her shot, however, was extremely inaccurate and wasn't heading towards the designated hole at all, but rather a tree. Now, Celestia praised the work of many ponies, and especially praised the work done on physics; they were, after all, one of the few 'rules' of this world that even she was bound to. It was especially interesting when it came to gravity and other such things. However, today just seemed like one big slap in the face to her, because the golf ball seemed to be defying physics right now. The golf ball just so happened to ricochet off the tree, flew back at Celestia, who ducked, and then just so happened to impact Luna's popsicle, shattering it into many pieces before it hit another tree and then slowly rolled over to the hole it was supposed to go into... ...And rolled into the hole. Celestia stared in disbelief at what she did, then turned to Luna, who had a comical look on her face as she tried to make sense of what just happened, with her tongue still sticking outwards, as if she still had a popsicle to lick at. Her little sister turned to look at her, and made a 'what the heck just happened' gesture. In response, Celestia shrugged, not knowing quite sure what to say. Eventually, she settled on acting oblivious to what happened to her sister. "Err. I managed a hole in one! That's good, right?" Luna finally pieced together what exactly happened in the span of a few seconds by noticing the indents in two trees, and had mentally calculated the trajectory of the golf ball, scowling when she realized that her popsicle had just so happened to be within that trajectory. She looked up at Celestia, and she had such a dark look on her face that Celestia was expecting Nightmare Moon to appear any moment now. "My popsicle. Gone. It was cherry flavored, Tia! CHERRY, FLAVORED. How could you?!" "I'm bad at golf, Lulu! Heck, I'm bad at all sports! I'm sorry!" Author's Note Cherry popsicles ?! Poor Luna Two is one too many, Tia!Two is one too many, Tia! Something was wrong. That much was obvious when Luna tried to enter her sister's room; apparently, she was too lazy today to leave her bed. Sure, it was a Saturday, which meant no court, but come on, she should have at least left her room! She fumed inwardly as she stomped off away from Celestia's room. This was going to be the day where Celestia and Blueblood teamed up against herself and Shining Armor in a pie eating contest! Unfortunately, that event didn't seem like it was going to happen. Grumbling under her breath, she found that the path that she had taken had led her to the library, situated in the middle of the castle. Seeing that the main event today was canceled, she decided that after she told the two stallions that the contest was canceled (which would no doubt be met with much groaning from the two), it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and catch up on her favorite pastime, reading. After making her rounds, she had sat down at a large table, with a copy of one of the newer Daring Do books. While she didn't particularly read fiction all that much (owing to the many history books she needed to read to catch up on Equestria's history), even she had to admit that this series of books (and by extension, movie adaptions) had a certain charm to them. The character was easy enough to like, the settings were imaginative and very descriptive, and there was always the promise of more coming up ahead, so one could never really stop after reading one of these books. Just as she was about to start reading, however, her ears perked up as she heard a set of hoof-steps slowly growing louder and louder; in time, it showed that is was Celestia who was causing them, and she appeared from behind a bookshelf, smiling at Luna. Luna frowned at her sister, and spoke in a low whisper. "I thought you were too lazy to leave your bed!" Celestia rolled her eyes, and pulled a book off the shelf; Luna's eyes blinked with surprise when she saw that it was one of those 'trashy romance novels' that she saw her sister constantly go off on long-winded monologues about. Celestia sat across from her, and opened the book, murmuring back to Luna just as softly. "My bed didn't agree with me, so I came downstairs to get a book to read; what a coincidence, eh, Lulu?" Luna studied her sister for a moment before shrugging, and returned to her book; despite the fact that her sister was now reading a romance novel, she supposed that there were probably some romance books that Celestia did like. You couldn't hate everything in a single genre, after all! There was a moment of peace between the two, disturbed only by the rustling of pages when she heard another set of hoof-steps coming closer and closer to them, and Luna was surprised when she heard the pony's voice, as it sounded so very much like her sister's. It's as if my sister had cloned herself, Luna thought to herself with a slight grin. She noticed that Celestia was squirming in her seat, and was looking around frantically; Luna opened her mouth to inquire why, when her sister pressed her hoof to her mouth in a 'shh' motion. Luna rolled her eyes, and complied with her sister's request; all the while, the voice continued to get closer. "When I find you, Chrysalis, I'll..." When the pony that sounded like her sister stepped out into full view, Luna was surprised; the pony that had just entered her view really was none other than Celestia. She looked back and forth between both Celestias, and realized that the library was deathly quiet (which wasn't saying much since this was a library); Both Celestias were staring at each other, one in unmasked anger, and the other in terror. Luna nervously shuffled with her hooves, whispering a question softly, as they were still in the library. "Which one of you is the real Tia?" Both answered at the same time in a quiet whisper. "I am!" Luna sighed, and rubbed her eyes, wondering what the heck was going on. "Two is one too many, Tia!" She didn't know what to do in this situation; heck, she doubted anypony would know. Please, Faust, I ask you, help me in my time of need, Luna prayed, eyes closed and hooves pressed against her horn, my head cannot grasp the reasoning behind why I am seeing two Tias! I have to be daydreaming! Or, if I'm not dreaming, give me a big hangover because I must obviously be drunk! ...Even though I haven't drunk anything alcoholic recently. Luna kept her praying motion for a moment before moving her hooves away and opening her eyes. She slapped herself across the face, testing the first theory; pain always woke you up from a daydream. Ow. Luna rubbed her cheek gingerly, frowning. Okay, so I'm not daydreaming. I must obviously be drunk! It wouldn't hurt to ask them if she were drunk, though, so she did. "...Tias? Am I drunk? Both of them again responded at the same time, with the same response. "Doesn't look like it, Lulu." FAUST, WHAT THE HECK DO I DO NOW?! Luna cried out mentally, slamming her head down on the wooden table, through it (creating a nice Luna-head shaped hole in the table, which would then be sold for a few thousand bits to help profit the library), and falling off from her chair due to the forward momentum of her action. It hurt. Immediately, both Celestias rushed over to her, one with her anger melting away into concern as she gently lifted Luna's head up, checking for a bruise, the other looking guiltily at Luna and trying not to look too suspicious. The Celestia checking over "Lulu! Are you okay?! Why did you do that?! There was no reason to smash your head through the table even if I do it all the time!" The other across from her stared, wondering if she actually heard her right before nuzzling Luna gently. "Get up, Lulu." While the other Celestia went on a raging monologue that was (mostly) ignored by her double for daring to do such an intimate thing, Luna realized something; there were two Tias, not just one anymore. That means...Cadence and I can double the pranks because there are two of them...OH, FAUST, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Luna suddenly bolted upright, and grabbed both of her sister's together in a tight hug; both of them swore that they heard a bone crack from the excessively forceful hug. "I HAVE JUST REALIZED THAT THERE ARE TWO OF YOU, TIA! THAT MEANS THAT CADENCE AND I CAN PRANK YOU TWICE AS MUCH NOW! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! WE CAN NOW HAVE DOUBLE THE FUN!" She promptly let both Celestias go, then began dancing around (horribly) in the library, ignoring the ponies telling her to be quiet (at least the ones that weren't staring at the two Celestias. One of the Celestias looked at the other, and slapped her. "Chrysalis, I'm going to kill you, if Luna doesn't kill me first." Chrysalis responded by blowing a raspberry at a clearly irritated Celestia. Author's Note Hi Chrysalis Chrysalis wanted to feed off some love, so she disguised herself as Celestia, subdued Celestia, then tried to feed off Luna After this incident the pranks around the castle got steadily worse Too much bubble wrap, Lulu!Too much bubble wrap, Lulu! "Packages for Princess Celestia, from one Fluttershy!" A brown pegasus that worked in the mail district pushed a cart in, dropped off quite a few sizable boxes inside her room, and then left promptly. A curious Celestia looked up from the piece of cake she was eating, and frowned thoughtfully. Hm? That's strange; I haven't asked or done anything recently to warrant anypony, much less one of Twilight's friends to send me a gift. I wonder what it could be? After standing up from her chair, it took a short walk before Celestia was within range of grabbing at one of the boxes. Fairly large; doesn't seem heavy if one pegasus could cart all this in, and it was sent by Fluttershy, Twilight's shyest friend, if I remember correctly. Yeah, I have no clue what could be inside these boxes. She prepared to open the nearest box to her when there was a knocking at her door. Sighing, Celestia waited to see who it was. One knock, two knocks. Punch. She groaned as her door now had a hole the size of a hoof in it, and she called out from her location, certain of the pony's identity now. "Lulu, can you not punch my doors? Please?" "Tia, it would help if you opened the door before I had to punch it!" No. "Remember the license plate on the flying poptart?" Poptarts! I...Oh. "That hurts, Tia, that hurts." Snorting at her sister and rubbing a hoof gently at her snout, none too fondly remembering that incident, Celestia opened the door to allow Luna inside her room. "Is there something that you need, Lulu?" Please don't destroy anything else, I already have to replace these doors. Again. "Not particularly, Tia. We...I just saw that pegasus drop by with a cart, full of boxes for you! I'm simply curious about whatever is inside them, Tia. So...Have you opened one of them up yet?" "No, I haven't, I spent the time thinking about why I'd be given all these boxes first, and then you punched my door." Gently, Celestia poked a box, and it didn't rattle. She didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. "Hm, it doesn't rattle." She tried poking all the other boxes, and they, too, did not rattle. "What do you think, Lulu?" I'm thinking Arby's. Oh, and opening the boxes. "I think, Tia, that instead of poking at the boxes, you open them up and see what's inside." "...Right." Celestia levitated a nearby letter knife, and was just about to slice the tape that held a box together when a thought crossed her mind. Perhaps Fluttershy has sent me something very, very personal, for my eyes only? I best not open it while Lulu is here. "...Actually, Lulu, maybe you should leave." Open it open it op...What? Leave, after you've received quite a few boxes with unknown contents residing inside? I think not! "Whatever for, Tia? I'm interested in whatever's in the boxes, too! That's not fair!" After placing back the letter opener to its rightful place, Celestia frowned at her sister, and made a 'shoo' motion towards her doors. "That's the problem, Lulu; what if these boxes contained something very important to Fluttershy that she doesn't want others seeing?" "Are you saying, Tia, that you're afraid that I'd see something that would be extremely embarrassing for the pegasus, who, I remind you, freed me from my evil persona of Nightmare Moon, takes care of even the fiercest animals that she chances upon, and can snarf down fries like a champion on Fridays would send you something she would find embarrassing to other ponies, much less send it to none other than you, the other half of the diarchy, who could easily reveal it to all of Equestria, and would send twenty boxes full of secret, personal belongings? Does anypony even have that many personal belongings to give out?" ...I didn't catch anything beyond 'snarf down fries' and 'Friday'. It looks like I'll have to challenge Fluttershy to a fry eating contest sometime in the near future! Challenge aside, what do I say now? I didn't listen to the other half of what she said... "...Maybe?" ...This sister of mine... "...I'm not leaving, Tia, and you can't make me. We're both powerful alicorns, and I have every right and power to see whatever it is that Fluttershy has placed in these boxes and sent to you." Wrong answer, gah. "Is it really this important for you to see what's inside the boxes?" "...No, but I'm more curious then when you first smelled cake for the first time." Sighing, Celestia levitated the letter opener back over, and very slowly began to slice through the tape that shut the box's contents away from the world. As the deed was done, Luna peered over her sister's shoulder, curious as to the contents of said box. Once the tape had been neatly sliced, Celestia opened the box up... ...And was introduced to the sight of bubble wrap. "...Bubble wrap? Is that all?" No wonder that pegasus could carry this in; it's just full of bubble wrap! Luna, likewise, was disappointed in the contents of the box. That's...Pretty disappointing. Maybe the bubble wrap is hiding something, however! "Perhaps there is something buried in all this bubble wrap, Tia?" "Perhaps. Let's see!" Celestia began pulling out the bubble wrap, and after a moment, her sister joined her. On and on, they continued to remove bubble wrap from the box, and both alicorns throwing the bubble wrap around hazardly, not caring where it ended up. This cycle of reaching into the box and removing the bubble wrap continued on, until finally, there box was empty. Celestia groaned, and looked at the other boxes with a sense of fear creeping up towards her. "...Maybe...nineteen of these are decoys...?" Oh, jeez, nineteen more boxes to go through... "I'm game if you are, Tia!" I get the feeling I'm going to regret this. Oh well! "You're on!" And so began the unraveling of boxes. Many, many boxes, full of nothing but bubble wrap, and lots of it. Both alicorns tore into the boxes (carefully), flinging the bubble wrap they found within without any sense of where they were throwing it. This would soon be their undoing, as bubble wrap piled up everywhere, making it harder for them to move around. This didn't register to the alicorn sisters, as they continued to unbox every box, until the last one was in front of them. Immediately, Celetia tore into the box, and threw the bubble wrapping away, only to find...Nothing. Celestia stared at the remains of the last box with a blank look on her face, which was equally mirrored by Luna. I...I can't believe it... "There's...Nothing...Nothing but bubble wrap..." "Tia, what did you do...? What did you do that...Required Fluttershy to send you twenty boxes of bubble wrap?" "I-I don't know...A-Am I becoming a bad princess?" Celestia sighed as she sat down. Unfortunately, she just so happened to sit on a pile of bubble wrap that was just so conveniently underneath her posterior. That day has been recorded to be the loudest bubble wrap pop in history, as well as the only time bubble wrap alone had blown an entire room into smithereens. Author's Note Luna punches doors and enjoys eating at Arby's resturants Fluttershy enjoys the (mostly) safe activity of playing with bubble wrap Celestia is crying now that her room is destroyed You destroyed my vegetable garden, Tia!You destroyed my vegetable garden, Tia! Resting on top of a cloud a few miles away from Canterlot, Luna was happily observing the countryside, taking note of the little details that she could spot. Oh, there's so many farms around Canterlot! I can see the Wonderbolts stadium aways from here, weather ponies clearing away clouds that are blocking my view, and even Rainbow Dash charging at me like an arrow! Wait, what? Luna had only a few seconds to scream like a little filly and throw herself off towards the right, narrowly avoiding the rainbow torpedo that was headed towards her. Whew! That was close! The lunar princess watched as the pegasus zoomed forward; Luna thought she heard a muffled 'sorry!' as the pegasus continued her rapid forward motion. She seemed faster than a few of the Wonderbolts! As the alicorn continued to watch her, she noticed that the air seemed to be warping around Rainbow Dash, contorting into an arrowhead at the front of the pegasus. Perplexed, Luna's confusion and curiosity suddenly made way for something that she didn't experience all too often; sheer amazement and worry. With an astounding release of rainbow energy, Luna witnessed the one thing she thought she'd never see again; the Sonic Rainboom. She wasn't all that eager to see it again, either, mainly for two reasons; one, it blinded her eyes momentarily, and secondly, it released a shockwave that could prove fatal to any pegasai in the air, as it caused massive amounts of turbulence. Unfortunately for her, she was in the air and was staring directly at the pegasus when she performed the Sonic Rainboom, as well as being relatively close by when it happened, so an immense wall of pressure smashed into her, almost knocking her out on the spot; however, the blood of the alicorns ran through her veins, so she was quite alright. For the most part, anyway. Oh my...The last time I saw a Sonic Rainboom, it destroyed my vegetable garden! Luna exclaimed inwardly as her hooves went up to her eyes, rubbing at them gently. Just as her eyesight came back to her (albeit looking a bit fuzzy), a cyan pegasus flew up to her, with a sheepish grin on her face. That was awesome, Princess Luna totally got a look at my radical moves! Yeah, I'll totally get into the Wonderbolts now! "Hey, Princess! You like my rad moves I put out there?! I was totally in my game zone, flyin' hard and awesome like, then whooooooosh, I did the Sonic Rainboom! Totally rad, right?!" ...While she looks cute, both as a plushie and as a real pony, her attitude is a bit...Crude. I like that! Even if she almost killed me just now. And reminded me of my former vegetable garden. "That was amazing, Rainbow Dash! I haven't seen a Sonic Rainboom in a long, long time!" The words spoken caused Rainbow Dash to suddenly look at her with a sudden intensity, and her energy seemed to triple as she began to spin around Luna in circles. "Oh, right, you're a princess! You're really, really, reaaaaaaally old!" Luna snorted, offended by the pegasus' words, but Rainbow Dash continued, unaware of the offense that she caused. "Do you know who caused the first Sonic Rainboom?! Huh?! Was it an awesome pegasus like me?!" Luna flatly stated, "It was my sister." She stared in amazement as the pegasus hoof-pumped the air, and did a back-flip in midair before squealing like a filly over a school crush. "Omigosh this is SO AWESOME! I did something that Princess Celestia did! Awwwwwwwesome! Can you tell me the story behind it?!" Suddenly, painful memories rose up within Luna, giving her a headache, and she rubbed her head gingerly before sighing. "I suppose telling the tale wouldn't hurt. I ask you, though, to not share details of this to anypony, for my sister still feels bad about that day and I lost something very important that day as well, and both need to be told in this story." After seeing the nod given to her, Luna smiled, and pointed up to a cloud, lazily flying up to it. Naturally, Rainbow Dash took it as a challenge, and she was already there by the time Luna reached the cloud. Laying down comfortably on the cloud, Luna began to relate the tale of the first Sonic Rainboom, thousands of years ago. "...Tia! What are you doing?!" Her question was directed at her sister, who, for the past seven minutes, continued to fly at very high speeds above her vegetable garden, and it was beginning to irritate her. "Can't you fly somewhere else?!" Celestia stopped her movements, and shouted down at Luna with regret glinting in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Lulu, but this is the best place for me to attempt my newest trick! The wind currents here will help me more than any other place!" ... Are you still making up stupid tricks in the air?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE WELL PAST THAT POINT, SISTER!" Luna grumbled as she walked over to her cabbage patch, tilting the straw hat on her head slightly. Great, now she's yelling, and she insulted my tricks! "Stupid tricks?! You call THESE stupid tricks?! No way! I'll have a group of ponies called the Wonderbolts created, just to do tricks, and pay them for it!" With amazing agility and speed, Celestia began to perform twirls, spins, loops, and all sorts of aerial tricks. While Luna was impressed by the sight, she had seen her sister do these things on a regular basis; she wanted something else, something that she hadn't seen before. "You've done all that already for me, Tia! Do something new for a change!" Upon hearing her sister's challenge, Celestia stopped her awesome aerial maneuvers to muse over her sister's words. Hm. New, eh? Well, there is this one trick I've been wanting to perform... Luna continued to check over her cabbages, and she had just checked over the first one when her sister rose up to the challenge. Luna watched as Celestia flew up towards the sky until she was little more than a pink dot (owing to her mane) in the sky. Her curiosity was switched on, as she didn't think any of her sister's tricks would be needed to perform at that high of an altitude, as they would be too high up in the sky for anypony other than pegasai relaxing on clouds (even then, from Celestia's distance, it looked like you needed to rest on a cloud fairly far up) to view. As she watched her sister continue to climb into the sky, Celestia suddenly made a sharp turn, and began her descent. Luna still didn't quite get what her sister was doing. She was just falling! At a high speed perhaps, but any pegasus could do that. She almost gave up watching what her sister was doing when she noticed her sister's horn light up; the moment that horn lit up, the air seemed to contort around her sister, sharpening into an arrowhead with her sister at the tip. Fascinated, Luna watched this new trick of Celestia's, even cheering her on as she did so. Suddenly, Luna felt an extreme surge of magic go into Celestia's horn, and a sudden explosion of light, color, and pressure lifted her off her hooves and made her lose her hat (she cried for days after realizing she couldn't find it); frantically, she flapped her own wings to avoid getting into an uncontrollable tumble. Once she regained control (for the most part), she looked up, and, with awe, saw every palette of color stretched out in the sky, slowly spreading itself out in a circle. Her sister was in the middle of it, continuing to speed forward, looking back at her creation with a wide smile on her face. Then Luna realized that Celestia was heading straight towards her vegetable garden. A quick calculation told her that Celestia, even if she were blessed with the power of ten alicorns, could not pull up in time to avoid hitting her vegetable garden. Whimpering, Luna saluted the vegetable garden that had served her well for years, and closed her eyes, not wanting to see the damage caused to her garden. With an explosion of force, Celestia tore through her garden like a bomb, flipping over and causing massive amounts of damage by the sheer impact of her descent. She rolled, jumped, and took to the air to avoid smashing into a brick wall, and she grabbed onto a now surprised Luna to keep herself from propelling forward; the two stayed like that, with Celestia clutching tightly onto her sister, until Luna gently pushed her sister away. "That was awesome! Come on, admit it Luna!" I have to admit...It was pretty cool. "Yes, that was pretty awe..." Her voice died as she stared past Celestia to look at the devastation caused by one certain alicorn's impact. Vegetables were either squashed from the impact, or fried (how, Luna never did know). Farming equipment was scattered around, there was a massive crater in the middle of her garden, and a cob of corn was impaled on her horn somehow. Looking up, Luna got a tomato to the face, which splattered across her. Great, it was raining vegetables. Her vegetables. Celestia giggled nervously, and put up a shield around them, protecting them from the 'rain' of vegetables. "...Tia..." "Yes, Lulu?" "You destroyed my vegetable garden, Tia! My cabbages! My corn! My tomatoes! My...My everything in this garden! I probably won't be able to even use this land anymore!" "...Sorry." "Sorry?! Oh, you'll be sorry!" "...And then I got into a slap fight with her. That is the story of the first Sonic Rainboom; I believe that Celestia released so much magic that day that it made it easier for pegasai like you to perform the Sonic Rainboom, even though you were the first to actually perform it." A wide eyed Rainbow Dash stared at her before looking up at the area where she performed her most recent Sonic Rainboom, and winced slightly. "I'm glad I don't cause collateral damage like Princess Celestia does." "You're not as fat as her." Rainbow Dash turned back around to stare at Luna again. Whoa, wasn't expecting that from her. "I...Uh, what, Princess?" "Oh, I'm sorry; I just tend to tease Tia. Would you like me to treat you to a meal for performing the Sonic Rainboom?" Furiously nodding her head, the pegasus hoof pumped the air, surprised and more than glad at the sudden meal offering. "Heck yes!" Author's Note Celestia is the founder of the Wonderbolts Story time Rainbow Dash now does Sonic Rainbooms to get free meals Wear this tutu, Lulu!Wear this tutu, Lulu! I think this'll look perfect on Lulu! Celestia smiled at the thought of her sister wearing a tutu as she watched as Rarity began to sketch the measurements of Luna's body (Celestia had her sister measured one week prior to this for some dresses) and the proposed tutu out. It truly looked cute, and Luna would most likely, probably, hopefully without killing her sister, would love it after being fitted into it! ...Nah, I'm delusional, she'd kill me after this. It'll be SO worth it, though, to see her dressed in this! Celestia rubbed her hooves together maliciously (and rather creepily), causing a sound that made Rarity look at her with a concerned (for herself) gaze. She tried to resume working on the tutu, but the rubbing of Celestia's hooves against each other combined with what she saw easily broke her concentration, and she couldn't focus on the tutu anymore. She gulped, and hoped that the rumors about Princess Celestia weren't true. Please tell me that gaze and the hoof rubbing is for the tutu and not me, PLEASE, FAUST, I BEG YOU. "...Princess Celestia, are you quite alright? You're...Erm, breaking my concentration. On the tutu. With your hoof rubbing." Celestia stopped her creepy hoof rubbing in surprise, and she grinned sheepishly as she backed away from the unicorn, giggling rather nervously. Oh dear, I must have looked like quite the creepy pony, doing that just behind miss Rarity. No wonder ponies spread rather scandalous rumors about me! "I-I'm sorry, Miss Rarity. Do you wish for me to come back at a later time to your boutique when the tutu is ready?" Bless you, Faust. "Why, sure! You can visit Twilight in the library, I'm sure she'd be happy to see you!" No offense, princess, but...You're creeping me out. I'm also sure that Twilight can 'handle' you a lot better than I could! "Now, run along!" Please. Rarity opened the door for the princess, who smiled a little more genuinely this time, without embarrassment being a (major) factor of it. Smooth, Tia, smooth. "Yes, I think I'll go do that, Rarity. You'll receive the other half of your payment upon completing the tutu." With that, Celestia walked outside of Rarity's boutique, wondering what her student was up to. This is glorious. Nothing can compare to the wonderful tutu in Lulu's room, that Lulu has no knowledge of; I will enjoy every...Well, okay, maybe not the part where she bashes my skull in, but every part leading up to dressing her up in this tutu! Celestia had taken the liberty of sneaking the tutu into Luna's room while her sister was not in there, and had spent an enjoyable evening with Luna, who was currently highlighting the most amusing parts of Blueblood's antics tonight. Oh, trust me, Lulu, tonight's just going to get much more interesting. As the two sisters walked towards the younger sister's room, Celestia stayed with Luna, rather than walk off without her. This caused Luna to look at Celestia perplexedly, wondering why she was still with her. "Tia, it'll only be a minute for me to grab a few things from my room; you can go on ahead." Oh no I won't. "I can wait, Lulu; besides, its been quite awhile since I saw the inside of your room!" Her voice then dripped pure, raw malice. "I certainly hope your room is clean; you remember what we did to make sure your room was clean, don't you?" ...I wish she forgot. Luna had an unfortunate flashback; back when she was a little filly (and was called 'little' by her sister whenever she could, much to her dismay), she was notorious for not cleaning up her room. No matter how hard Faust and Celestia had tried to teach her, she just couldn't clean her room. Luna would give wild explanations about why she couldn't clean her room, ranging from things such as the gingerbread man, the grim reaper, and meteors from outer space distracting her by wanting to play dress up against her will with her. Faust, tired of her excuses, had warned her that she would take away Luna's milk and cookie privileges for a month if she saw her bedroom in a complete wreck one more time; immediately, Luna had sharpened up, and cleaned her room in ten seconds flat. Even when Faust left them to their own devices, Celestia made good on Faust's warning (much to Luna's distaste), and to this day, Luna was still scared stiff of the punishment. "Y-Yes, Tia, my room is clean." I hope. She pushed open her door, revealing a clean room, much to her relief. Everything was in place, there were no messes, and there was a mannequin in the middle of the room with a ridiculous tutu on it. "Everything's fine in her-" Her wide eyes snapped on the tutu in the middle of the room. "Wait, where did that tutu come from?" Here we go! "Oh my, Lulu, I thought you told me that you hated playing dress up; it seems that I've been lied to! Wear this tutu, Lulu! I want to see how you look like in it!" I...Uh, buh? I never had a tutu! "T-Tia, I don't think that's mine! I also really do hate playing dress up!" "Nonsense, it looks like it could fit on you, and you were always such a terrible liar! Come on, put it on, Lulu!" Like HECK I will! Wait, what are yo- "No, I won- HEY! STOP THAT, NO- ARRRRGH!" After a very hard-won struggle, Celestia giggled as she took in the sight of a fuming Luna in a tutu. "Ah, you look so cuuuuuuuute in that tutu, Luna!" Oh, Tia, you are so going to get it. "Tia?" This must be the part where she makes a threat. "Yes, Lulu? Is the tutu alright? It looks absolutely splendid!" "Forget about the tutu, you're dead." "I know, but at least I got pictures of this!" Celestia crowed, holding up a camera. Luna's eyes began twitching, and she stepping menacingly towards her sister, who wisely ran away. Author's Note Luna hates playing dress up Celestia won't die, obviously, but she'll be smarting from Luna's rampage The photos are Celestia's piece of blackmail in the event that Luna demanded control over the milk and cookie industries This is wrong, Tia!This is wrong, Tia! There were many things that Luna feared. Among those fears, one of them was that Luna dreaded Nightmare Moon coming back to haunt her by keeping a cherry popsicle out of her reach. Another that scared her was watching her sister try to fit into a bikini (she swore she went blind by the sight for weeks). Even more than that, however, was eating fried cabbages (that in particular was the result in trying to save the face of a poor cook who couldn't read recipes correctly, and the result was five days of taking mints to try and get the flavor out of her mouth).These were things that shouldn't even exist! However, what scared her the most was testing; she hated and feared tests! They were nothing more than glorified assignments that teachers gave! Luna even almost went as far as to ban this from schools. Her sister, however, quickly squashed any hope of doing so by explaining that it would destroy the education system put in place. What a pity. Now, Luna found herself groaning as her sister read over the spelling test that she was forced to take earlier, inside a secluded portion of the library. While her speech had vastly improved, Celestia had a few aristocrats that had politely (but bluntly) shown her a few drafts and proposals that Luna wrote after her first public court, and from the looks of it, Luna still needed help on her writing (due to it mostly being in such old Equestrian that ponies today wouldn't be able to read it), much to Luna's dismay. Luna inwardly cringed every time her sister made a mark on her paper, for it meant that there was another mistake that she made and would later have to correct, or even worse, possibly redoing the entire paper itself. She was getting much, much better than she was a few months ago, but she was still struggling with writing at times. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, her sister smiled as she capped her pen. "Well, you're doing a lot better than before, Lulu! You still require some help, however." Celestia gave Luna the paper, complete with corrections that she made. "Here you go, Lulu, not much is wrong this time around." Time to see what I've done wrong... Luna quickly scanned over the papers, looking at her mistakes, and immediately she was offended and hurt by what she saw. What is this?! I know I spelt this correctly...And this, too! What is my sister thinking?! She has lost her touch in being a teacher for our little ponies! "Tia! What is this?! Most of these mistakes are of words that I've spelled correctly, explain yourself!" How do I break this to her easily...? "You spelled armor as armour, Lulu, that's no-." Don't state the obvious, Tia! "Yes! That is the correct spelling, hasn't it always been the correct spelling for armour?! And another thing, you circled 'flavour' as being incorrect! That is not so, it is still spell correctly!" Celestia groaned as she rubbed the area around the base of her horn, trying to get rid of the headache that was coming in. And ponies wonder why I only accept personal students and don't teach in classrooms. It's bad enough trying to teach my sister, nevermind preventing Twilight from blowing up half of Ponyville! A class full of ponies that don't understand me as much as my sister or Twilight? No thanks! "Lulu, language has changed a lot when you were...'Gone', and words do not retain the same meanings and spellings like they have before. ...That's...That just can't be possible! Why would this happen?! Surely she jests! "That's a joke if I ever heard one, Tia! Words changing around, old meanings being swept away for newer ones, how much more ridiculous can that get?!" She laughed, and it was only when she realized that her sister wasn't laughing with her that she stared at Celestia with a horrified gaze. Oh no. "What?! I understand words being executed from our vocabulary because of newer, more modern words, but words being altered from their original meaning and spelling?! Why has this happened?!" Heck, even I don't know the answer to that question. "Ponies change, Lulu, and the way they use words has changed as well. I don't know why they felt the need to change what words suddenly mean, Lulu, but that's just how it is." Ponies these days...Changing around words to suit their own needs! Why has this been allowed to happen?! "Can you give me an example of this? This is wrong, Tia!" "Well, one of the words changed is 'cool', which, as you know, once meant that something was not quite cold, but near enough to it. It still means that, but most ponies use 'cool' as a word to express a positive feeling about something. Interestingly enough, there are multiple words for this, as well, such as 'awesome', 'radical', and 'swag'. I'm not actually sure about the last one, though." Luna growled, and banged a hoof through the table (causing the library to sell the table once again for a few thousand bits), clearly agitated by this little bit of news. "You mean to tell me that there are already words that already expresses a positive feeling, yet ponies still seek to create other words simply to say the same thing?!" "...To be fair, Lulu, some words do sound better than others in certain sentences..." UGH! THIS IS A CRIME AGAINST LANGUAGE AND I AM POWERLESS TO GIVE IT JUSTICE! "I give up, Tia! Language today is unbearable and dirty compared to how it was before! Why, I'd almost want to go back to the time where ponies ate each other and spoke in grunts!" Luna stood up, sighed explosively, and walked out, leaving Celestia behind to stare after her. Well, there she goes. Celestia groaned, and looked down at the paper that Luna wrote for her, The tales of the marshmallow flavoured armour, which...Was exactly what the title implied. "I don't even know what I just graded. Oh well, it's tea time." Author's Note Luna dislikes this new Equestrian language Celestia doesn't like teaching large classes of ponies The tales of the marshmallow flavoured armour seems like something I would write involving Shining Armour and Cadence as they travel to a distant land to see if the rumours of edible marshmallow armour is true I had a weird dream, Tia!I had a weird dream, Tia! If there's something I've learned recently, it's that you never, NEVER go to sleep right after eating five boxes of pocky with hot sauce and garnished with a dollop of chocolate ice cream. The thought was made after Luna realized that she was dreaming; although, to call it a dream was questionable, at best. In reality, it felt like she was taking a roller coaster backwards through a museum full of weird and wacky things she thought she'd never see in her lifetime, and since alicorns were immortal, that was saying something. There were images of green ducks sitting on top of ponies made of cotton candy, plushies that were alive, and even cookies that were used as projectiles and not as scrumptious, edible food! These images caused Luna to be interested one moment, scared the next, and on and on, the cycle continued on this roller coaster, sending mixed messages to her. The next image she saw was of Canterlot; beautiful Canterlot! Its beauty, however, was tarnished by a voice she knew all too well. "Bwahahahaha! Now, Celestia, Luna, you two shall witness the destruction of your beloved capitol!" Is that...Discord? Isn't he supposed to be set in stone still?! An immediately worried Luna looked around for the source of the voice, and her challenge to Discord promptly died in her throat when her eyes took in the sight of Discord floating above Canterlot with a massive ball of energy in his paws, reminding her of the Pony Ball Z episode she watched last night. "Say goodbye to Canterlot, Celestia, Luna! This is what you get for not inviting me to that one party where...Uh, you two did things! It's been thousands of years, so I don't know which party it was, but I know it had something to do with you two and blowing up fireworks the wrong way!" With that said, Discord threw the immense ball of energy down at Canterlot, to Luna's horror. "NO!" Luna teleported to Discord's side, and was about to lay him out with one swift punch to the jaw... ...When suddenly, a voice was murmured, seemingly from nowhere and everywhere at once. "No, no, that won't do, how am I going to write a chapter based on that?" With that, Luna watched in shock as Discord, Canterlot, and the massive ball of energy disappeared entirely, leaving behind a white, empty space full of nothing. ...What just happened? Luna looked around the now barren landscape, and noticed a desk with a computer, with a white pegasus mare. She seemed rather small for her (theoretical) age, which Luna assumed to be about twenty-one; this mare's mane was styled like a certain dentist's mane (how could she not remember? The visit to Colgate's office was still a tender memory, and the mane color and style reminded her of toothpaste), though this mare's colors seemed to be black and orange instead of blue and white. This mare was also surrounded by boxes of strawberry pocky. Said mare was typing at the computer, and she seemed to be grumbling about something as she worked. "...That won't do...Who wants to read a story about Luna bashing a fruitcake over Celestia's head? Or of Celestia setting fire to her cereal? I mean, these stories have to make a little sense..." Curious by the only thing she could see around her, Luna approached the mare, and after a moments hesitation, tapped her on the shoulder. The mare responded by slapping her across the face with a frying pan, flooring Luna immediately as she shouted. "STOUT SHAKO FOR TWO REFINED, PINKIE, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!" A groaning Luna was holding her face in her hooves, wondering what she had done to deserve such a thing, and why her name was suddenly Pinkie. "Ow..." Picking up on Luna's voice, the mare looked down, and was confused by the sight of the lunar princess at her hooves. "Odd, I wasn't writing about you appearing in my sanctuary." "...What?" Luna groaned as she got back up to her (unsteady) hooves, and looked at the mare, who tossed the frying pan away after realizing that Luna was staring at it. Not the best first impression, but... "Hi! I'm not sure how you got in here, but welcome!" That's...A very strange welcoming, getting greeted after getting a face full of frying pan. "...Where am I?" "You seem to have broken the fourth wall, and you are talking with me, the author! Thankfully you're not Pinkie Pie; she keeps trying to get me to sell my Stout Shako for one refined, but I'm not going for that!" As if on cue, Pinkie Pie appeared by...Ripping open a rift, and then she shot a threatening gaze at the pegasus. "You're overpricing the hat! Give it to me for one refined!" "NO, GET OUT!" The pegasus threw the frying pan at Pinkie, who disappeared just as suddenly in the rift she appeared in. Pinkie's voice sounded out ominously, even though she was now nowhere to be seen. "Beware...I'll be baaaaaaack!" "Yeah, yeah, whatever, Pinks. TWO refined!" Luna wasn't getting anywhere with this pegasus, and the headache she was getting didn't help. "What's a Stout Shako, what's two refined, what's your name, and most importantly, where am I?" "A Stout Shako is a hat, two refined is referring to metal, my name is Viddy, and you're in my imagination!" I'm not understanding this pegasus at all, even though she just explained what I asked. "Your...Imagination? Please forgive me if I don't understand..." The pegasus nodded, and pulled out a pen, then...Began writing on the air? "You see, Luna, you have eaten one of the few combinations of food that allow you to peer into the fourth wall that technically should not exist. I'm assuming it's hot sauce with pocky and a dollop of chocolate ice cream, correct?" A nod from Luna told Viddy as much. "Well, then! Due to your powers over dreams and the food combination, you are now in my imagination, where I write the hilarious stories that you and Celestia get into!" "...So, you write stories about me and my sister, and they end up coming true?" "Yep! I get to watch the results of what I write, as well!" The pegasus smiled, unaware that Luna's smile was predatory. "...So you forced me into that tutu." "Yeah! One of the better stories, if I say so myself!" Sweet, sweet revenge! "YOU ARE SO DEAD!" ...I'm so dead. "...Oh my. PLEASE WAKE UP FROM YOUR DREAM AAAARRRGH NO NOT IN THE FACE OW OW OW STOOOOOP! THAT'S MY FRYING PAN!" "Lulu! WAKE UP!" The sudden addition of a third voice accompanied with the clash of cymbals woke Luna up, though just barely. Buh? "Hrm?" An irritated Celestia lowered the cymbals she held, and frowned at her sister. "I had to lower the moon for you! Why were you sleeping through your court?" She's not going to believe me. "I had a weird dream, Tia! It was about this pegasus named Viddy that talked about Stout Shakos and was writing stories about us and the stuff that happens to us! I was beating her at a food fight involving frying pans and random food items that I didn't know were around me in the first place when you woke me up! She was at the hot sauce again, wasn't she? Because I didn't understand a single thing she said other than 'weird dream'. "Did you hit the hot sauce again last night, Lulu? ...With some other food items? When I've told you not to?" "...Yes." "I rest my case; it was just a dream, Lulu. Now get up! You're doing my paperwork today since I had to do yours yesternight." ! "But Tiiiiiiiia..." "Ah, ah! No complaining! More working! Chop chop!" "Fine..." I must seek out Pinkie Pie, so that I may go back to this pegasus and beat her once again in a food fight! Author's Note This is an exaggeration of the thought process that happens when writing these stories I like pocky Yes I couldn't help but reference a few things in this I'm not going to be writing these kinds of chapters anymore after this, however, because it (really) doesn't fit with the story Don't eat that, Lulu!Don't eat that, Lulu! The things I do for my sister. Celestia was posing for her sister, who was hard at work painting the scene that was shown to her; Celestia, laying down on Luna's bed (owing to her own room still under repairs after the bubble wrap incident), blanket covering her up slightly to allow a little imagination for the mind to process, with a bowl of fruit and a Twilight plushie draped on top of Celestia innocently. The scene looked very tranquil and peaceful (if a bit questionable), and Luna was attempting to do it justice on her canvas. She had an aptitude for art, and this showed in many of her paintings, many of which were featured as grand masterpieces. As she worked, she was humming a tune that Celestia had nearly forgotten entirely, and she smiled as memories came back to her. "I haven't heard that tune in a long time, Lulu." Luna peeked over the side of the canvas, and smiled at her sister. "I'm glad you enjoy it, Tia!" "Oh, actually, I'm not enjoying the tune itself. I'm enjoying what happened after you sang that tune; I must admit, it's not everyday that you watch your sister suddenly get mauled by a flower cart." That day brings back so many memories! ...Painful ones, to be precise. "...I will treat that as a compliment." Luna continued to paint her sister, though it was with slightly more forced strokes of her brush. "I'm kidding, Lulu, I think your humming is wonderful." I'm sure. "That flower cart still haunts me, Tia. Roses hurt with their thorns! Oh, and, you can move now, I've finished the painting." "Finally!" Celestia immediately jumped off her bed, knocking the bowl of fruit to the floor, leaving the poor Twilight plushie in disarray, and wrinkling the blanket. "As much as I enjoy posing for your paintings, Lulu, even I have my limits. How can ponies pose like this for hours?! I understand that they get paid for their time, but it's absurd!" Luna sighed, and levitated a bunch of grapes that were still in the bowl. "Tia, you shouldn't get fruit dirty! It's food, you know! ...Except those hideous red things. Shame they're all I had to work with, though, or I'd have replaced them." Huh. Fruit? What is she...Oh, that. "I didn't get any fruit dirty, Lulu." Does she think me stupid, or is she mad? "What am I holding within my magical grasp then, Tia? Are they not grapes?" Celestia opened her mouth to state the obvious, then closed it, unsure of what to say. ...There has got to be a way of explaining this to her without this ending badly. Unfortunately, while Celestia was trying to think of a proper way to state her words, Luna took the lack of an answer from her sister as a victory in her favor. "I'll answer the question for you, sister, since you seem to be struggling to answer for whatever reason you may have. They are indeed grapes, and they look delicious!" With that being said, Luna levitated the grapes over to her mouth. Oh Faust no, this is bad. "Don't eat that, Lulu!" Stopping just short of her mouth, Luna looked over at her sister, who had a pleading look in her eyes. It's just fruit, come on! "Hm? Why not?! They're grapes!" "...Yes, they are grapes, bu-" "Then why stop me?!" Before Celestia could respond, Luna went ahead and ate a few of the grapes. ...Well, darn. You tried, Celly! Celestia watched as the look of triumph on her sister's face turned into one of shock and disgust as she spat out the 'grapes' onto the floor. Must...Not...Laugh... Celestia covered her mouth with one hoof, trying to not let her giggles escape her. Luna, meanwhile, was trying very, very hard to not bash her sister in the head with a frying pan, especially after seeing that Tia was (very poorly) trying to conceal her laughter. Did she poison these grapes and had meant to give them to Blueblood?! "BY MOTHER'S DIRTY UNDERWEAR, THAT WAS DISGUSTING!" "I did warn you, Lulu." Luna glared at her sister as she began to roughly rub her hooves onto her tongue, trying to get the taste of wax out from her tongue. Sensing that this was her cue to speak, Celestia cleared her throat, and explained the 'grapes' to Luna. "Well, you see, Lulu, waxed fruits exist because artists did not like having to continuously buy fresh fruit for their paintings, so they've created wax fruits, which allows an artist to continue using the same fruit over and over, since it's not actually a fruit in the first place, but a molded, colored piece of wax. Just...Don't eat them, Lulu. It's not an edible food, and even if it were, it would make it a rather...'Desperate' choice when thinking about food." At this moment in time Luna was swishing some mouthwash (where she got it, Celestia could only guess) in her mouth, and after gurgling it, spat it into a nearby waste bin. "Whew! That's much better! Now...Wax fruit?! Why didn't the art store tell me that they were wax fruit, incapable of being eaten?!" "...Didn't you notice the fact that the 'fruit' there was the only 'food' item available in the store?" Now that she mentions it... "No." Lulu... Rubbing the base of her horn as was custom whenever Luna began to give her a severe headache, Celestia groaned as she picked up the 'fruit' and placed it back into the bowl. "Well, if you don't want to repeat the same mistake again, just look for the unnatural looking sheen on a fruit, or the fact that it looks a little bit too colorful and shiny, and you should be able to tell that it's a wax fruit." Luna nodded slowly, taking in her sister's advice. "I shall not repeat the same mistake again! For now, though, let us go to the kitchens to help me get rid of this taste in my mouth!" Author's Note The day when Luna got mauled by flower carts was when she got her cutie mark Wax fruit is horrible mistake I made once upon a time Celestia's room is still not repaired OUR little ponies, Tia!OUR little ponies, Tia! This is SO incredibly boring. Holding up a hoof to ward away a yawn, Luna glumly stared at her sister giving a speech about cakes to the kitchen staff. Is this really even necessary? We could be pranking Twilight right now, or actually eating cake instead of listening to you talk about it! She fidgeted in her seat, not comfortable with sitting down for long periods of time. Currently, she was sitting on a rather uncomfortable chair as she listened to her sister rant on for two hours straight about cakes, with charts, graphs, and even mathematical equations about why her sister should be able to eat all the cake she wanted. Oh, and the reasoning behind why pi should be changed to cake. I'm going to die here, listening to my sister drone on and on about cakes. Wait...I'm sure that's the last cake graph that she forced me to make with her. I know by the bloodstains on it as I made it with my last, dying breath! ...Admittedly it was cherry juice but it's the same thing! Does that mean...? YES, SHE'S DONE, BY FAUST, SHE'S DO-...She said it again. Ugh, Tia... Groaning, Luna buried her face in her hooves, distraught over what Celestia had just done, again. Though Luna loved her sister dearly, she still wondered why she used that clearly offensive way of saying 'My little ponies'; after all, she was in the same room with her sister, and they both looked after and cared for the ponies of Equestria! Sure, she herself could say 'My little ponies' as well, but that just wouldn't feel right, especially to the ponies who've only heard her sister say it. Not to mention that it sounded a little creepy. She wanted to bring the personal issue up with her sister, but there wasn't a moment that she deemed fit enough to bring it about. It wasn't anything major, anyway; just a little technicality that bothered her. Her fuming was momentarily stopped as she saw ponies around the room get up from their seats; the presentation was over, it seemed. Luna quickly jumped to her hooves, and walked out of the kitchen, simply thankful that she could finally leave without appearing rude to Celestia or the other ponies. Eventually, she found herself outside on a balcony, overlooking the main assembly area (where they would often make grand, public speeches). She rested her hooves on the balcony railing, grumbling about her sister. Of all things... "I just don't know how you do it, Tia! I know I wouldn't be able to make a speech extend that long! Two hours of nothing but explaining why we should get more cake, and even showing multiple graphs and tables about how this would be accomplished! How does somepony even manage to make a speech about that for five minutes, nevermind two hours?!" The soft clop of hooves alerted her to another presence coming along to join her; the voice was a dead giveaway to who it was. "Oh, please, I was bored enough to try; besides, no harm trying in getting some extra cake, right? Cake is good, very good." Luna turned around, and stared with a deadpan expression at Celestia, who had walked up next to her. "You did this because you were bored. A two hour speech about cake, because you were bored." Her sister winked mischievously at her. "That would be correct, Lulu." "...Okay, that's just unnatural." You make speeches when you're bored? Wow, remind me to never be around you again when that happens. She sighed, causing Celestia to look towards her with a slightly worried look. Hm. I think something's eating at her; she seems in a bit of a short temper tonight. Celestia hesitated before speaking quietly, with a slight frown on her face; talking to Luna while she was moody would either mean she'd spill everything out to her, or punch her on the nose. Hard. She really didn't like the latter option. "You seem troubled, Lulu; is it something that you can tell me?" I might as well tell her now; I doubt I'll get a better time anyway. " Yes, Tia, though it's not much; I'm just a bit annoyed at you, sister." ...What did I do this time to annoy her? Was it the few hundred cake models I made her do for me? "Is it the way how I insist on eating garlic bread before a speech? Or is it because I dump my work on you to go frolic in the gardens?" ...Okay, admittedly, both of those things annoy me as well, but that's not what I'm annoyed about! Luna shot an exasperated glance at her sister. "I feel annoyed every time you say 'My little ponies', are they not my little ponies, as well? OUR little ponies, Tia! ...I know they're not objects to call 'ours' by any means, but it feels so weird listening to you say 'my little ponies'!" Oh my. Celestia looked taken aback by her sisters words; she wasn't expecting that as an answer. Very carefully, she extended a wing out, draping it on her sister's back gently in a comforting gesture. She's right...I have been using 'my', and of course that would make Lulu uncomfortable whenever she hears it. "Oh, that's what has been bothering you...I...Guess I have just been too accustomed to ruling alone and saying 'my'. I'm sorry." I'm glad we can finally get that out of the way now. "Apology accepted, Tia. Our little ponies may need some time to adjust to you saying that, but I'm sure it'll work." Good! I was thinking I'd get punched in the nose. Again. "I'm sure they'll adjust to it just fine, Lulu." The two sisters looked down at the assembly area, enjoying the tranquil silence that stretched between them in a rare moment of sisterly bonding that didn't involve setting half the castle on fire, causing explosions that the two sisters swore they disarmed earlier, damaging the priceless infrastructure of Canterlot by various means, or cause bodily harm in any way, shape or form, to any ponies that just so happened to (unfortunately) get caught in the antics of the two sisters. It certainly was a good evening. Though, Luna thought idly, watching as Blueblood snuck up behind a pair of royal guards with a lit firecracker, I could reaaaaaaaaaaally go for a soft drink right now. Author's Note More of a small slice of life moment between the two rather than anything humorous Wanted to try something different Our little ponies Blueblood isn't insane, Lulu!Blueblood isn't insane, Lulu! Ah, Blueblood...Never stop being you! This thought came to Celestia as she watched Blueblood stalking Luna, the latter of which had no idea that there was a pony following her. I'll have to bring Blueblood back to life after Luna is finished smiting him to tell him that he has very nice and tidy spellwork. Despite how carefree and charming he could be, Luna sometimes found it hard to connect with her nephew, most likely because he did some of the most insane things that most ponies would never dare to even imagine. One such incident was of Blueblood bungee jumping off the highest tower in the castle. To this day, Celestia never figured out how Blueblood managed to climb up the tower, let alone find the cable and harness, and it took a small rescue crew to rescue him (apparently, the reason he did this was to spy on the female royal guards shower room, as shown by the binoculars he was holding at the time of his rescue, and where he was facing). Another incident that Celestia found hard to believe that Blueblood would ever do was overpowering her guards, going through the trap infested hallway, and even knocking her out with a swift punch (to be fair, her eyes were closed as she was about to take a bite of a rather delectable pound cake), and that was all to get to her sock drawer. Her sock drawer. She still didn't know if she ever got all her socks back. Now, she was watching her nephew sneak up on her unaware sister who was blissfully taking a bite out of a moon pie. Unfortunately for her soon to be startled sister, Blueblood had a megaphone in his grasp. To ensure that her ears wouldn't get blown out, Celestia had donned a pair of earmuffs. Although she wanted to warn her sister, she did admit to herself that she wanted to see what would happen. Besides, I told Lulu to stop eating moon pies; this'll just be her 'just desserts', heh heh! Smiling at the terrible pun she made, she watched as Blueblood finally stepped close to Luna, lifting the megaphone to her ear... Something's not right here. "Erm?" Luna turned around, only to get startled and jump up through the ceiling (after this incident, the phrase 'Jumpy as a cat' was tossed at Luna mercilessly) when Blueblood began screaming the Equestrian national anthem through the megaphone. Celestia, meanwhile, was laughing up a storm, and Blueblood was grinning stupidly, not realizing the heap of trouble he just got himself into. That was about to change, though. With a rather loud thump, Luna impacted the floor (causing a rather comical impact hole in her shape roughly six inches deep), groaning and holding her hooves to her ears, clearly in pain. "Ow...Tiiiiiiiiiiia...What did I do to you...?" "It wasn't me, dear sister, it was Blueblood." Puffing his chest out in a mockery of certain birds, Blueblood proudly proclaimed it to be true. "That's right! It was me, all me!" "You're insane, Blueblood!" As those words were spoken, Celestia made a 'tsk' sound, looking at her sister with disapproval. "Blueblood isn't insane, Lulu!" While I do enjoy my dear nephew's antics, sometimes they cross the line! "Sister, if what you've told me of Blueblood is true, he must have some streak of insanity in him!" Upon hearing those words, Blueblood turned around to face Celestia, who was pointedly looking away. With his curiosity suddenly peaking high levels, he knew that he had to satisfy it before it got out of hoof. "Auntie Tia, what have you told auntie Lulu about me? I'm curious as to what you've told her!" ...Well, what has Blueblood done that isn't insane? Hmm... After a bit of pondering, Celestia decided to tell her sister the most 'tame' of what Blueblood had done, but even so, most of what he did was...Absolutely ridiculous regardless. "Well...There was the time you put ketchup packets underneath those little bumpy things in the royal guards' restroom..." How could I forget?! Blueblood's eyes brightened up, and he laughed as he remembered that incident. "Ah, yes! I remember that incident; about half the royal guard was chasing after me!" Really? While Blueblood was laughing as he remembered that day, full of angry, ketchup stained royal guards, Luna raised a brow at her sister. "That's still insane, Tia." "What?! That was probably one of the more tamer things that Blueblood has done!" "Yet he still created an incident where half the royal guard was chasing him! In fact...Has he done anything where he hasn't been chased by the royal guards?" Of course! "There was the one time he was chased by the elderly and was charged afterwards with thirty restraining orders." What in Faust's name...? "Do I even want to-" "No." "Let me rephrase my question, Tia. Has there been any time where he hasn't been chased by anypony?" "Well...Only if he's caught." "And that happens...?" "...He's always caught." Triumphantly, Luna raised a hoof in the air, while Blueblood tried to think of a time where he didn't get chased by an angry mob of ponies. "Ha ha! He is always chased by mobs and is guilty of doing dastardly, insane things! Admit it, Blueblood is insane, and if you think that false, he is at least a little bit out of his mind!" Celestia tried to counter that, but there was nothing that came to her. Sighing, she nodded, accepting defeat. "Blueblood, you are a little bit insane." After that was said, an explosion rocked the castle, and Celestia threw herself on the floor. "What in th-" Her words cut off as Blueblood cackled with glee, and rubbed his hooves together. "I set off a soap bomb in the royal guards' barracks! Since I'm always chased by a mob, one should be after me right now! I'm surprised they aren't after me already, especially since I made some graffiti on the front door that said 'Blueblood rules, royal guards drool'! Well, bye, aunties!" Blueblood quickly ran out of the room with surprising speed, no doubt gained from constant mobs chasing him. Celestia looked over at Luna, who looked back, and the two shared a moment of silence before wordlessly chasing after Blueblood. Author's Note Blueblood isn't insane, really The royal guard has used the running after Blueblood as extra training Celestia finally admits that Blueblood is a little insane I'll send you to the sun, Tia!I'll send you to the sun, Tia! No. NOT LIKE THIS. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- The screen flickered with the words 'Game Over!', and Luna groaned as she threw the controller at the television. "Why must they make you so overpowered in video games, Tia?! It's like they don't want to disappoint you by making you some weak character in these fighting games!" Over on the other side of Luna's quarters (which, still, was occupied by Celestia since her room was still under construction), Celestia was in the process of writing out a new, more agreeable bill that took the combined aspects of three others into a great compromise that would work out far better than any of these bills individually would have done. Upon her sister complaining, however, she set aside her quill, and made her way to Luna with an amused looked on her face. "To be fair, Lulu, I do overwhelm you in sheer force." "...Okay, point taken, you could blow up my moon merely by smashing your rump against it. That's not the point, though! In every fighting game I've played, it has always been you or some weird 'Nightmare Moon' esque name like 'Daylight Savings' or of the like, and you always have some super cheap move!" "To correct you, Lulu, it would probably take three smashes of my rump! Not only that, but, I never really realized that I was quite so...Powerful in these games that you play." Luna grumbled something unintelligible underneath her breath, and powered down the game console. Afterwards, she rummaged through her personal fridge in the room, bringing out a moon pie. Celestia sat down next to her sister on the incredibly large sofa, and lazily stretched herself out. "Daylight Savings, eh? Is that an actual name for me in those games?" Luna nodded, too occupied on eating her moon pie. A sudden thought caused her to stop chewing, and think about something that made no sense at all. After swallowing the moon pie currently in her mouth, she looked over at Celestia in confusion. "Wait...Why did you lock me up in the moon, again? I mean, that's where I'm most powerful, Tia? That doesn't seem like the most logical choice." Celestia flicked her crown off, letting it sail through the air before landing on the desk she was working on earlier with a loud thunk. "Ten points. The reason why I locked you up in the moon is because I didn't want to lock you up in my sun, Lulu, and because I hoped that being locked up in your beautiful moon would calm you down as you slept for a thousand years inside it. Apparently that was not the case, however." "Hm. So, theoretically, if you became Daylight Savings, and I used the Elements of Harmony on you, you'd get sent to the sun?" "Oh, yes, theoretically, I would! The problem, however, Lulu, would be the fact that I'd probably scorch you first." Luna stuck her tongue out at her sister, and took another bite from her moon pie before responding to that. "I shall not let that happen, Tia! You will not scorch my backside! I'll send you to the sun, Tia! The Elements of Harmony will help me end your reign of terror!" Deciding that now was as good a time as any to fool around with her sister, Celestia grinned widely as she stood up on the sofa, towering over her sister and looking down upon her, as if she were an insignificant bug. "I THINK NOT! DAYLIGHT SAVINGS WILL END YOU, AND MAKE WAY FOR ETERNAL SUN, FOREVER!" On the other side of the door, two guards were panicking, and began calling on their radios for backup. "Bring in the entire royal guard, Daylight Savings is real and is attacking Princess Luna!" "Get the Wonderbolts!" "Grab the Elements of Harmony!" "Make sure you get the bearers as well!" "Stock up on non-lethal weaponry, she's still Princess Celestia on the inside!" "SAVE THE TWINKIES!" With the two guards quickly making assumptions without checking inside Luna's room (owing to the fact that Luna highly discouraged ponies walking into her room without important news), chaos soon spread throughout the castle, and it wasn't long before Twilight and company got wind of this. "Daylight Savings? Really? I would have opted for a more elegant name." "Yeah, yeah, don't fret yerself over that, Rares, we got ourselves a mighty big problem on our hooves." Ignoring the bickering between the farm pony and the fashionista, Twilight levitated her Element of Harmony onto her head, and scuffed at the floor nervously. "Alright girls, we know the plan?" Rainbow Dash pumped a hoof into the air. "We smash the door down and blast Daylight Savings?!" "Ye- No! Rainbow, we don't smash the door down!" "Oh." A dejected looked Rainbow Dash muttered to herself how it would be awesome to barge into Luna's room, though she immediately brightened up after what Twilight said next. "We'll have the royal guard smash down the doors for us, and then we'll blast Daylight Savings with the Elements of Harmony!" Fluttershy was the first to respond, trying to sound enthusiastic about their upcoming doom. "Oh...Okay." Rarity was next to answer, with a hoof running through her mane. "A well thought out endeavor, darling!" Applejack stomped the floor with a hoof, grinning widely at the challenge ahead. "Ah'm game!" Rainbow Dash did a loop in the air, impatiently waiting to barge into the room. "Yeah, let's kick Daylight Saving's rump!" Pinkie Pie jumped up in the air three times further than anypony should have, and landed on her head. "We can have a party afterwards!" "Alright girls! Guards, break the door down!" "Ah ha ha! S-Stop it, Tia!" "No, I have waited forever for this moment, and now, you shall suffer!" Celestia cackled maniacally as she tickle tortured Luna. The two, throughout all this time, continued to role-play the idea of Celestia becoming a tyrant. Suddenly, a loud crash was heard, and the two sister stopped their antics to look up at the source of the noise, only to see a few royal guards pull out a battering ram. What happened next confused the two alicorns even more, as Twilight and her friends (complete with the Elements of Harmony) strode through, aggressively looking at Celestia. "What is the meaning of this, our little ponies?" Twilight spoke up, and Celestia raised a brow as her student tried to look intimidating. "We're not your little ponies, Daylight Savings! Prepare to be zapped by the Elements of Harmony!" Fluttershy meekly peeked out from behind Applejack, and smiled apologetically at Celestia. "W-We're really sorry about t-this if it hurts, princess." "Flutters, would ya stop tryna hide behind my rump? N' we're gonna set ya straight, Daylight Savin's!" Rarity sighed as she looked at Celestia, clearly not impressed by her. "You know, I'd have thought you'd look different! After all, Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna look vastly different." Rainbow Dash said nothing, but gave Celestia a glare that actually caused her to shudder inwardly. Pinkie Pie, to her credit, was actually doubtful of the whole thing. "Are you sure Celestia is Daylight Savings? She still feels like the same Celestia we all know!" Celestia sigh of relief was short lived, as Twilight pointed at her mentor's head. "She doesn't have the crown on her head, that's all the proof we need!" Luna groaned as she slapped a hoof to her head. This can't end well for either of us. "Tia! Duck!" Her sister immediately complied with her two words, and just in time, as the Elements fired off a massive blast of rainbow energy that was aimed where Celestia formally was. For all that power behind those trinkets, they sure do have a lousy aim. Celestia mused as the rainbow blast of energy sailed above her. The sustained blast of energy died out, leaving behind a few slightly smoking trinkets (and in one case, a tiara) on the bearers. Twilight sighed, and turned around to look at Luna. "Please, Princess Luna, don't help her, she's Daylight Savings!" M-MY ROOM! YOU MADE A GIANT HOLE IN MY ROOM! MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU MELTED MY PERSONAL FRIDGE AND GAME CONSOLE! "...Twilight Sparkle! Applejack! Rainbow Dash! Pinkie Pie! Rarity! Fluttershy!" Each of the bearers were now looking at a visibly shaking Luna, and even Celestia began backing up away from her. She quickly withdrew a pair of earmuffs, and sighed as she placed them on, just in time. "YOU'VE MADE A GIANT HOLE IN MY ROOM, MELTED MY PERSONAL FRIDGE FULL OF MOONPIES FOR ME TO EASILY ACCESS, AND MELTED THE GAME CONSOLE THAT TIA GAVE TO ME, NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT THIS PLACE IS ON RAINBOW FIRE NOW! TIA IS NOT DAYLIGHT SAVINGS, WE WERE PLAYING AROUND!" "...Ah think we made a mistake, Twi." "...I think so, too, AJ." Author's Note Despite their hard work, making a room to Celestia's expectations is a daunting task that must be perfect the first time around I'm not naming any specific consoles that Luna plays Have you ever talked about something theoretically with someone, and then role-played it out for giggles My beautiful room is back, Lulu!My beautiful room is back, Lulu! Now, being immortal, there were few things that would stand the test of time. Those that could stand it were treasured by Celestia greatly, and the things that didn't stand that test were even more treasured. One such treasure that she enjoyed immensely was her room; it was her private haven, where she could go and 'lose' herself, so to speak, to the pleasure of sinking into her soft, warm bed, call upon ponies who were experienced in the art of combating sore muscles, and simply have a chance to relax from the serious and stiff atmosphere that was Canterlot. Her room was one such treasure. Unfortunately, with the bubble-wrap incident, her room was destroyed, and it was currently undergoing construction. Now, she was residing in Luna's quarters (which still had the hole made from the Elements of Harmony). While they were no less comfortable than her own, it just wasn't her room. This was a room that accommodated the Princess of the night, and made little effort to make the area comfortable for the solar princess. Luna had welcomed her in warmly enough, and they even had some fun, brushing the other's mane while talking about various things going around in Canterlot, but it still felt very different from her own room. That was why upon the return of the lead construction worker telling her that her room was nearly finished sent her ecstatic. Finally, her own room was back again! Happy days were here again! ...No offense to Luna, of course. Celestia was giddy with excitement as she literally bounced around Luna's room (who later upon seeing the mess in her room complained that all her stuff was in disarray from a certain alicorn's rump smashing into everything). Now, Celestia was walking with a (for now) blissfully unaware Luna to her new room. "Oh, this is so exciting, Lulu! My room, returned to its former glory again!" "Does this mean that I don't have to show you where I hide the marshmallows in my room?" "Actually it means that I'm having the royal guard search your room for the marshmallows later while I happily bounce around in my room. How dare you make smores while I was sleeping!" A huff from Luna clearly showed how irritated she was. "I thought the smell of such a thing would wake you up, dear sister! Apparently not, if it couldn't move that fat rump of yours." Ignoring her sister's jab at her, Celestia continued to walk towards her room, eager to see it for what it was. "Isn't it exciting, Lulu?! Finally, I get to have my room again! Your room, while comfortable, just wasn't made for me!" You certainly showed that, too, when you complained the first few nights of it being 'too dark'. It's my moon, for Faust's sake, of course it'd be dark! "Well, regardless of the 'difficulties' we've had in you staying in my room, Tia, I'm glad you have your room back." The two rounded a corner, and Celestia's smiled only grew wider as she saw the golden doors that signified her room. Eagerly, she bounded up towards the set of doors, and pushed them open. The sight that greeted her very nearly knocked her off her hooves, had not Luna rest a wing upon her back, giving her an awed look. "Tia...What exactly did your workers do to your room...?" "I don't know, Lulu...But I sure hope I'm not dreaming..." A quick slap from her sister told her that she wasn't dreaming. "Ow. Okay, so I'm not dreaming!" Up in front of the two alicorns was Celestia's entire bedroom, complete with everything she formerly had; Twilight plushies, bookshelves filled with (sadly, as Celestia found out) romance novels, her study (which Celestia would also find out sadly that it was already packed with paperwork), and even her old secret (although she wondered if it was a secret anymore, since the carpenters remade it) wine cellar underneath her room. The only thing that was different was the fact that everything happened to be a little...Shinier? Celestia couldn't quite place the reason behind that thought. Who cared, though?! Her room was back! "WEEE!" Without warning, Celestia bounded forward and jumped upon her massive bed, bouncing twice in the air before coming to a complete stop, laying down on her bed with her mane all tussled and messy. "I missed my bed, my beautiful, soft bed!" Just as quickly as she bounded onto her bed, she ran over to her Twilight plushies, and squeezed them hard, with happy tears in her eyes. "Twilights! I miss sleeping in bed with you!" And so on, Celestia went, walking, jumping, falling, teleporting, skateboarding, and even reversing the gravity of her room to talk with and express how much she missed her room. Every single part of it. Luna, by now, was looking on the scene in front of her with amusement and with slight worry. ...I hope I never have my room blown up from sitting on bubble-wrap, because looking at Tia right now, I can say that it would most likely hurt very much. Especially if I were to do a double backflip on a skateboard with reversed gravity and landing on my face to say that I missed that dustball in the corner. With the reversed gravity in effect, she was now sitting on the ceiling, watching as Celestia's horn lit up. Odd; what kind of spell is she casting no- OW. Rubbing her nose gingerly, Luna complained as she stood back up on her hooves. "Dear sister, could you please KINDLY tell me that you're about to undo a gravity spell? ESPECIALLY when I'm sitting on the ceiling?" Oh. Silly me. "Sorry, Lulu! I guess I'm just so excited to be back in my room again." Too excited, if you ask me. "Well, sister, I shall retire to my own room now." As Luna turned around to leave her sister's room, she was stopped by Celestia. "Wait." Hmm? Luna turned back around, and noticed that Celestia was fidgeting slightly. "Is something wrong, Tia?" "Well...I, uh...Do you think that...We could sleep together in my bed? Even though everything looks the same here, Lulu, I think it would help me adjust a lot better if you slept with me. That, and the hole in your room has a terrible draft blowing in, so you might as well reside in my room until that gets fixed." True enough, and why not? Besides, you're warm, don't snore in your sleep nor kick out unless you have a nightmare, and you're my sister. I should return the favor, too, since you slept with me when I couldn't get sleep myself. "Of course, Tia, of course I'll sleep with you tonight." Author's Note Celestia has her room back It's hard to sleep in your sister's room, especially if it's completely opposite of yours Gravity spells hurt S-Stop it, Tia!S-Stop it, Tia! Mine sister has gone crazy, cuckoo, insane, off her block, rocking her socks, blowing her top and eating rocks! ...I did not mean to rhyme that, but it's all true! Tia has become just as insane as Blueblood! Currently, Luna was locked up in the dungeons (although, now that she finally saw what the 'dungeons' were, she really couldn't agree with what her sister thought were 'proper' dungeons. After all, the accommodations were far too good for somepony that got sent to the dungeon, the cells were practically smaller versions of their bedrooms!), resting on a massive bed. Although, resting probably wasn't the best word for her current predicament, which was being strapped to the bed with chains and a magic blocker on her horn. Really, the things her sister did to her! She thought back about what she did to put herself in this rather uncomfortable position. She couldn't scratch that itch just below her horn, and it was driving her insane! "TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIA!" "What is it, Lulu?" "Catch!" "Wha-" As Celestia turned around to look over at the direction that Luna's voice was at, she felt a very soft, squishy something impact her face, followed one second later with a sudden clang, causing pain to her nose. Poking her tongue out slightly, Celestia realized that she had just been attacked with a blueberry pie. At least it wasn't a banana cream pie. "Mmmph." "Yes, delicious, isn't it, Tia?" ...I suppose, but I'd rather eat it, not have it impact my face, thank you very much! Celestia attempted to tug the tin plate off when she realized that somehow, the tin plate impaled itself on her horn. With much grumbling, Celestia pulled it off, and was just about to wipe her face when she was suddenly attacked by something wet. ?! "S-Stop it, whatever that is!" "Oh, Tia, blueberry pies taste so much better when you lick it off somepony! You added a note of vanilla to it!" First, I get disturbed from my work, then I get a pie to the face. As if that wasn't enough, Lulu is now cleaning my face with her tongue, and apparently I now taste like vanilla. I...Don't even know what just happened, but one thing is for sure; she's getting punished. To the dungeons she goes! "Lulu?" "Yes, Tia?" "There's some rock candy downstairs for you in the dungeons!" Sweet! "Yay, I love rock candy!" With that said, Luna bounded over to the dungeons, with Celestia following her. A malicious smile appeared on Celestia's face as she strode downstairs, and a little chuckle escaped her lips as she thought about the things she'd be doing to her poor, poor sister. That's not even the worst part! "Worst part of all of this is that there is no rock candy anywhere!" I am not a liar! "Actually, there is, Lulu, though I'm giving the bag of rock candy to you after I'm done with you." Luna looked at the visitor she suddenly had to her cell, and wasn't surprised to see that it was her sister. "Tia! Why must you strap me down on this bed and put a magic blocker on my horn?! I demand you release me at once! As well as giving me that bag of rock candy!" Not until I have my revenge! "Peace, Lulu, peace! I simply wanted my revenge for getting hit in the face with a pie, getting licked by you, losing time from working on that boring paper, and overall suffering a loss of dignity. You can have the rock candy later." "Hmph! So be it, then! Do your worst, Tia, you cannot break me! I have endured one thousand years on the moon, wrestled for control with Nightmare Moon, won a game of tic tac toe against Discord, blew raspberries at Tirek, and have had more pies thrown at me then I care to count! I am as untouchable as stone, without being a stone! I have learned from the best, and his name was Tom! Come on, you'll just be another notch on my horn, and I'll make Tom proud of me!" ...I doubt you've even done half those things, sister, but I'll humor you. "Very well then." Celestia loomed over her sister, her normally kind gaze turned harsh and with a grin that spoke of future pain ahead for her. "Do you know how long I've awaited this day?" Keep the gaze steady, don't ruin the unpleasant surprise... No. "No, and I don't particularly care, either!" "Shame. You should, I've been waiting a thousand years to do this to you. After all, we used to do this all the time as little fillies..." Celestia trailed a hoof down her sister's stomach lightly, causing Luna to shiver slightly at the touch. What? You did nothing to me as a little filly that I cannot endure now! Ha! Is this some kind of joke?! "I know not what you speak of, Tia, just get on with it so I can proclaim that I have withstood your torture!" I'm going to enjoy this very much. "Oh, it's torture, alright. It's tickle torture!" With a sudden, gleeful laugh, Celestia began to tickle at Luna's ticklish belly (one of the few weak spots that the lunar alicorn refused to admit), causing Luna to shriek with forced laughter. Oh, Faust, no wonder I didn't remember this; I forced myself to try and forget all those times she tickled me! "A-Ahahaha! T-Tia, s-stop iiiii-ahahahaha! S-Stop it, Tia! P-Pleas-hahahaha!" "Nooooope! You brought this on yourself, Lulu, and the best part is, I get to do this for the next thirty minutes before I leave for my next meeting with Blueblood to discuss the possibility of new pranks involving gravity spells!" The dungeons that day had an unearthly shriek never before heard in the history of ever cry out, which, thankfully, was mostly blocked out by ample soundproofing laced in the dungeons. To those that were able to hear it, however, they swore that it was the sign that Nightmare Moon had come back to steal ponies' socks again. Author's Note Celestia does not take kindly to pies being thrown at her Luna likes rock candy Luna dislikes having her belly tickled because she's ticklish Luna never actually did get her rock candy afterwards, much to her dismay This is Chrysalis, Lulu!This is Chrysalis, Lulu! I never thought I'd see the day where I'd actually be able to welcome Chrysalis into the castle without first smacking her in the face with a golf club, then blasting her off into space, screaming 'YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH' at the top of my voice while Luna gives me a trophy for the 'Most overpowered and unnecessary magic blast ever recorded in Equestrian history' while juggling flaming chainsaws and eating a moon pie. My dreams are funny like that. The random thought came to Celestia as she walked alongside Chrysalis, who she had just made a peace treaty with. It turns out that the changelings were bored living in the badlands, and Chrysalis had decided to stage a fake coup on Canterlot, then cut out the act at the very end and laugh about it all like a really bad joke between each other. At least, that was the plan, before they were rather suddenly taken along for a skydiving lesson without parachutes (which, Chrysalis admitted wasn't that bad, if you didn't count the hard landing afterwards). After explaining the reasoning behind the fake coup, a peace treaty was immediately made between the two, and the two princesses (Chrysalis needing to give up the title of 'queen' and taking up 'princess' being one of the conditions of the treaty) were off towards the kitchen for a celebration treat. "So, Celestia, we're all good, right? No hard feelings, no sudden backstabbing, nothing like that?" "Of course not! I mean, I still harbor a bit of resentment for creating the greatest joke ever on us, but that's all in the past." "Ah." The two continued walking along down one of the castle's many hallways to the kitchens, both giving brief nods or smiles at ponies (and, now, changelings) that happened to pass by. "There are some...Things you need to know, however, if you're going to be part of Canterlot. They're not important rules, per say, but more like...Warnings, for both me and Lulu. Since you're going to be working with us personally quite a bit, you should get to know these rules unless you want to actually incur our wrath." Yeah, I certainly want to incur your wrath over something stupid. "What are these rules, Celestia?" "Well, for starters, you leave my cake alone. That's a big no-no. I mean it, too. I. REALLY. Mean it. Especially if you value your life." While Celestia was saying this, she put her face up in front of Chrysalis', and slowly walked up towards her until Chrysalis was backed up against a wall. Okay, don't even touch Celestia's cake. Seriously, don't. I value my life, I value my life, I value my life! "O-Okay, point taken!" "Good!" With a smile on her face, Celestia resumed walking down the hallway leading towards the kitchens, followed by a slightly shivering Chrysalis. "Next, you leave Luna's moon pies alone. She's very angry if somepony takes them. A lot meaner than me, in fact!" ...Not five minutes into the treaty and I already feel like my safety is getting threatened! Love and tolerance, my rump! "I-I see. So, just don't touch, eat, or otherwise do anything to your cakes and Luna's moon pies?" Good, she understands easily! "Exactly! You're learning quickly, Chrys." Huh. "Chrys?" "Oh, that's another thing, I call Luna 'Lulu', she calls me 'Tia', so I guess you'll be called 'Chrys'. Ponies still call us by our full names, but we like to refer to each other by nickname; it just feels more friendly that way." Well, it does have a nice ring to it. Chrys it is, then! "Alright then, Tia, nicknames it is, then." Celestia paused before turning the corner. "The final rule is that you watch your step, because lots of crazy things happen around here." "Like wh-" Chrysalis never got to finish her sentence, as she heard somepony yell out in the kitchens just up ahead. "LOOK OUT, GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Celestia and Chrysalis both looked towards the general direction of the voice to see a massive cheese-wheel barrel out the door of the kitchens. Chrysalis had the idea to throw her shrieking form out of the way; unfortunately for Celestia, she had a far slower reaction time, and Chrysalis winced as the wheel ran over Celestia and continued to roll onward. Ouuuuuuuuuuuch. That must have hurt really badly. "Tia? You alright?" She approached the alicorn, who was groaning after the hit and run by the cheese-wheel (which was still rolling and wouldn't stop until it somehow rolled off a conveniently placed ramp and shattered itself against Discord's statue). "Tia?" "Promise me...One thing..." "I promise, whatever it is, Tia." "Please...For the love of Faust...Don't make a cheese pun..." Nope. Promise broken. "Don't worry, Tia, I'll let it brie." "Uuuuuugh!" Celestia groaned as she slapped her hooves over her ears. Chrysalis giggled to herself, and was about to make another cheese pun when another voice sounded out. "TIA! I'M SO SORRY THAT HAPPENED! ...Kinda, anyway, I mean, it's not everyday I accidently roll a cheese-wheel on you. Also, you kinda deserved it after blowing up my room." This must be Luna. After clearing her throat to get Luna's attention, Chrysalis smiled at her. "Hi, my name is Chrysalis! You can call me Chrys, though." Hm?! Another alicorn?! Well...She doesn't really look like a pony, but she's still in the general shape of an alicorn! "Who is this, Tia?" A groan came from the fallen alicorn before she responded. "This is Chrysalis, Lulu! Ugh...Help me, I've fallen and can't get up!" Ignoring her sister for the moment, Luna smiled at the other alicorn, and offered a hoof. "Hi! My name's Luna, but you can call me Lulu!" "Please to meet you!" "Likewise!" The two shook hooves, and watched as Celestia shakily got back on her own hooves, shooting the both of them a glare for not helping her. "Thanks for...The help. Now, tell me...Why....Why did a gigantic cheese-wheel run over me...?" Chrysalis was the first to answer. "You were too slow to throw yourself out of the way?" Luna offered her explanation next. "It was an accident?" "I think it was a mix of both." Celestia reasoned as she looked at the two. "I see you two have already acquainted with each other?" Luna nodded. "Yeah!" Chrysalis flashed Celestia a smile. "Yes, Tia!" "...Let's just get something from the kitchens, then." The three alicorns walked into the kitchens, putting the cooks into peril as they strived to feed three very hungry alicorns, when they already had their hooves full with one. Author's Note Chrysalis again She balances the royal checkbook (Faust bless her for the daunting task she has ahead of her) Luna says hi As of now, Chrysalis will now be a permanent addition to Canterlot and will now be featured in more upcoming stories! I never knew, Tia!I never knew, Tia! Luna hummed to herself quietly as she watched a few royal guards spar in the training grounds. It had been a few days since Chrysalis and her changelings assimilated into Equestria, and while there was some hard feelings shared between a few ponies, they were accepted almost immediately everywhere else. After all, they looked like ponies, so there wasn't really much to fret about. Sure, their diets were a bit strange and different, but it wasn't actually all that hard once ponies figured out that they simply needed to be near friends in order for them to get enough 'food'. A strange race, changelings. I wonder why we haven't heard of these ponies before. A sudden feint combined with a smashing blow to the head of one of the royal guards caused the lunar stallion the solar mare was sparring to drop to the floor in pain, and she winced as the incident took place. Owwwwwww. That has GOT to hurt. Well, looks like sparring practice is over, from the guilty looks everypony is throwing each other, and the stretcher coming in. I guess I'll find Chrys or Tia now. I remember my sister saying something about wanting to go talk to her, anyway. Luna left the practice field behind her, walking up towards Chrysalis' room. In all honesty, it was a hastily refurbished glorified closet, but Chrysalis didn't mind the room at all. Mostly. Hoping to catch Chrysalis (and, possibly, by extension, Celestia), she asked the two changeling guards outside her chambers if either were inside. "Is Chrysalis or my sister inside?" The guard on the left nodded. "They are both residing in Chrysalis' chambers currently." "May I come in, then?" "Of course!" The guard opened up the doors, and Luna walked in swiftly, wanting to talk to both of them. The guard on the right flashed a confused look at her partner, who had an equally confused look on his face. "Wasn't there only one alicorn when we invaded Canterlot?" "Yeah, from what I saw." "Wonder where this one came from then." "Who cares? We're glorified eye candy for the alicorns, just stand still and pretend to be alert." Luna walked in on the two alicorns as they were in the middle of discussing something; she seemed to have a habit of doing so, and it wasn't intentional. Most of the time. "Hi, Tia, Chrys!" Chrysalis was surprised to see Luna walk in, as well as knowing where they were, but she quickly dismissed the thought. After all, she mused, Tia could have told Lulu that she was going to talk to me, and perhaps Lulu simply wanted to see what we were talking about. "Hello, Lulu!" After nursing her tea cup for a few seconds longer than was probably necessary, Celestia frowned slightly as Luna intruded on them. Just at the time where Chrys and I were about to talk about the invasion...The invasion that Lulu somehow missed. Seriously, kamikaze changelings, explosions everywhere, and that beam of power that overwhelmed me? That didn't alert you to anything? "What brings you here, Lulu?" Bringing up a chair to sit by the three alicorns, Luna helped herself to some tea before replying to her sister's question. "Well, after seeing one of your solar guards send one of my lunar guards to the infirmary after a pretty good hit, I remembered that you wanted to talk with Chrys about something, so I decided to come around and listen in, if you don't mind." Well, solar guard, one, lunar guard, zero. "Oh, that." Chrysalis waved a hoof nonchalantly, and levitated a crumpet over to her. "We were just going to be talking about why I failed the invasion of Canterlot." ...And here I was, about to break it to Lulu gently. Celestia watched as Luna's look of shock turned into one of laughter as she suddenly began to giggle. "O-Oh my, an invasion? That's even worse than Tia's jokes!" Luna continued to giggle, at least, until she saw the perplexed look Chrysalis shot at her sister. When it became apparent that neither of them were going to join her laughter, Luna instantly got serious. "Chrysalis, when was this?!" It took a moment for Chrysalis to recall the incident, mostly because she had put it behind her. "A few months ago, during the royal wedding. I...Never saw you present at the invasion at all, actually. I assumed that Celestia was the only alicorn there. Where were you, exactly?" Luna frowned as she tried to remember what she was doing at the time. "Hmm..." "Come on, I can dance all day, I can dance all day! Just try and hit me, try and hit me, c'mon!" Luna crowed as she threw a cupcake into a building, causing an explosion of frosting to appear and showing that she got three ponies from it. "Right, right, take the building, it's clear!" Yet another explosion rang out from outside, though Luna simply assumed that it was inside the game she was playing, Call of Cutie. It was a present from her sister, and she was enjoying every moment of it. Sure, it was a pretty standard first pony shooter, as well as being filled with whining colts, but it was more than enough to keep her attention. "Alright, I'm going in! Cover me!" "...I...May have been...'Occupied' at the time? With that...Game you bought me?" Luna grinned sheepishly at her sister, who immediately regretted buying the game for her sister. Celestia sighed, and reached for a crumpet. "Well, that's one way to miss an invasion." Her sister shot her a hurt look as she took a sip from her tea. "I never knew, Tia!" I'm going to have one heck of a new lifestyle with these two. Chrysalis mused, as she watched the two sisters bicker with each other. Author's Note The lunar stallion that got sent to the infirmary eventually hooked up with that solar guard that sent him there, so it wasn't that bad Chrysalis lives in a glorified closet now Luna plays games with the volume on max for 'realism' Move over, Lulu!That isn't right, Lulu! Hm. My changelings are adjusting well to living in Canterlot, and it is nice to not have to worry about invading a town for love. Of course, the downside to all of that is that many of the ponies here still remember the invasion and we're getting love-blocked because of that. Oh well, can't have one good thing without a bad thing accompanying it. Chrysalis was thinking about her current position, which was living in Celestia's closet. It was to be cleaned out and given a refurbishing to better suit her in a few days time, but the fact remained that she was living in a closet. A soon to be glorified closet, that is. I've slept in worse places, I can't complain, really. For now, there was a bed squeezed in with all the junk that Celestia had in one of her many closets, and this particular closet seemed to be filled with marshmallows. Marshmallows, of all things. A muffled thump was heard, and she looked over towards the source of the thumping, which happened to be at the entrance to her closet. "Who's there?" The voice of one of her changeling guards answered her. "It's Princess Celestia and Luna, my que...Princess! Shall we turn them away, or do you want them in?" The change from 'queen' to 'princess' is a bit jarring, but I'll learn to be proud of that title soon enough. "Yes, please, let them inside my closet." The door opened up to reveal Luna and Celestia, the latter of whom raised a brow at Chrysalis. "This isn't going to be a closet any longer, Chrys." It's still a closet, for now, though. "In the meantime, Tia, it is a closet and I shall treat it as such." Chrysalis said with a huff. Ignoring Chrysalis' comment, Celestia quickly found a problem with entering Chrysalis' room, and that was the fact that there was hardly any room to maneuver. With three large alicorns (though all three would take offense to being called 'large) in an already packed closet that had yet to be removed of its marshmallows, space was soon a resource fought over, as Chrysalis saw with Celestia and Luna beginning to fight over the only other chair in the room. "Move over, Lulu! That chair is mine!" "I think not, Tia! Your royal rump can sit itself on the floor!" A quick thinking Chrysalis made her way to retreat back to her bed, claiming some space for herself and giving the two sisters room to fight. You'd think that they'd be mature, given their age, but no, they're no better than foals fighting over a cookie! When a crowbar whizzed past her head at an alarming speed, embedding itself into a bag of marshmallows, Chrysalis couldn't help but stare at the instrument that could have easily been imbedded in her head instead. Correction; no better than violent foals fighting over a cookie. "...Can you two stop fightin-" "NO!" Both of the alicorns screamed, and Chrysalis ducked as a shovel and a pickax was thrown just above her head. For the love of Faust, I'm going to die. A marshmallow bounced off of her horn, and she took a moment to stare at it before looking behind her to see that the large bag of marshmallows just above her bed was ripped open. ...They're throwing very sharp things, and those bags aren't the most durable...This is not good. "Tia! Lulu! Stop!" "Not...Until...Lulu gives me that chair!" "Back...Off, Tia!" As the two siblings argued and threw sharp objects, those sharp objects ripped through the bags holding the marshmallows. As Chrysalis watched with growing horror as her room began to be filled with marshmallows, Celestia suddenly grabbed Luna, held her above her head, and threw her at Chrysalis. "MINE, THIS CHAIR IS MINE, LULU!" Luna was the tipping point, as her horn ripped through quite a few bags of marshmallows due to the way Celestia threw her, and Chrysalis immediately knew that all was not well, as the cascade of marshmallows rained down upon them. "AVALANCHE!" Celestia and Luna stopped their bickering to look at Chrysalis in confusion, which quickly turned into horror as marshmallows began to rain down upon them. Unfortunately, this caused the two to resume bickering again, even as the marshmallows began to limit movement and encase them, as Luna struggled to untangle herself from Chrysalis to get at her sister. "This is all YOUR fault, Tia!" "My fault? You're the one who threw the suspiciously and conveniently placed dinner knife at me!" "Well, you're the one who threw the toy pickaxe at Chrys!" "You threw the sand shovel and started it with the plastic crowbar!" Kill me now. Chrysalis buried her hooves into her face, before the marshmallows buried them all. About thirty minutes later, the female changeling guard looked over at her partner with visible discomfort. "Hey, um...Thirty, should we be worried?" Her fellow guard on this post, a male changeling, looked at her in confusion. "What? Why, Number Fifty-one? Things have been nice and quiet for the past thirty minutes." "That's what I'm afraid of, Number Thirty." The female changeling fretted, and she cast a worried look at the door behind her. "They were just screaming and yelling about a chair and marshmallows, and now...Nothing. It's quiet." She's right...It does seem a little too quiet. "Well, what do you suggest we do, Number Thirty?" "We could open the door..." "Is that wise? Our quee-....Princess never gave us any rules concerning our concern for her in an event like this." "Well I'm worried." "And now you've got me worried." Number Fifty-one sighed, and set aside his spear. He approached the door, and knocked on it gently. "Princess Chrysalis? Princess Luna, Princess Celestia? Is everything alright in there?" There was no answer that graced his question. He looked over at Number Thirty, who frowned. "Open it up, we might have an emergency on our hooves!" "Alright, alright! We're coming in, Princesses, I-" Number Fifty-one was cut off rather abruptly by a massive wall of marshmallow, which cascaded down upon him. Number Thirty screamed, causing nearby guards to approach their area with raised spears. Fortunately, any questions that were going to be asked were silenced as Celestia crawled out, followed by Chrysalis and Luna. The three alicorns stared at the small group of guards that had gathered around them, and thus began a rather awkward explanation of what exactly happened. Author's Note Chrysalis lives in a closet because the other rooms in the castle are being refurbished Celestia also collects marshmallows Unfortunately that led to a marshmallow avalanche It was a glorious day for smores Eat my noise cannon, Tia!Eat my noise cannon, Tia! Tia is so going to get it once she walks through that door! Luna was currently setting up a specially made cannon, courtesy of Vinyl Scratch, whom she located by asking around for the best in noise amplification machines. And Vinyl Scratch sure knew how to deliver them, as seen by (currently unfinished) cannon. It was so large and massive that the only logical and safe way to surprise her sister with it was to erect the cannon on the opposite side of a door. Unfortunately, it was also a complicated piece of machinery that she could barely piece together with the instruction manual. Chrysalis wasn't making her job any easier, either, by complaining. "For the love of Faust, Lulu, did you really have to say, and I quote, 'the biggest, loudest, and most complicated noise cannon that would rock my socks off!'? This thing is taking forever to set up, and we even had to take it down and reassemble the entire thing! Twice!" "I didn't think Vinyl would take my words to heart!" "Well, she did, and we had to assemble this thing by ourselves, since the guards would have probably tattled on us. At least we're almost done." "Yeah, that's a relief." Luna grunted as she hefted the large battery that was almost as big as her into its rightful place, and wiped away at the sweat that came with the daunting task of assembling the noise cannon. "Are we almost done?" "One moment." Chrysalis looked over at the instruction manual that was provided with the parts for the noise cannon, and sighed. "One last thing, Lulu." Finally, we're almost done! "What is it, Chrys? Tia should be entering her room any moment now, so let's hurry up!" Okay, okay, sheesh! Now, the last step is...Huh. Chrysalis read through the last instruction twice to make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her, and when she was convinced that they were not, she spoke in a confused tone of voice. "...Uh, I'm not sure if I'm reading this right, but the cannon needs a sacrifice of a vinyl record, with us chanting 'Noise for the noise god!' three times in the background as the machine accepts the sound sample given to it." Did I hear that right? "Huh? Could you repeat that again, Chrys?" "Well, apparently, that oversized coin slot looking thing at the top? Yeah, you're supposed to insert a vinyl record 'sacrifice' in that slot, and wait for the cannon to 'digest' the record, and we chant that phrase for...Some reason. It's how the cannon operates." "You're pulling my hoof." "It's on the instruction manual, I swear!" "Let me see that." Luna snatched the instruction manual from Chrysalis, and skimmed down to the last step, where it just so happened that Chrysalis was telling the truth. When did technology get so complicated? "...Do we even have a vinyl record to sacrifice, Chrys?" "Yeah, apparently it comes along with the cannon as a sort of 'freebie', I guess. Want me to put it in, or do you want to find another vinyl record?" "I don't think we're going to find another vinyl record anytime soon, so pop it in, I guess." Chrysalis looked around in one of the boxes (there were sixteen in total), and eventually found a vinyl record with the words 'HELLO THERE' written in capital letters. "I think I've found it, Lulu." "Great! Put it in, and let's get this started!" Chrysalis nodded once, then fluttered up to the slot on top of the cannon. She slid the vinyl record in, then quickly went to Luna's side. As one, they took in a deep breath, and began to chant. "Noise for the noise god! Noise for the noise god! Noise for the noise god!" As they chanted, the noise cannon made an irritating grating sound that was almost as annoying as Celestia when she was hyper on sugar. Eventually, though, the grating stopped, and the two alicorns gave each other a hoof-five, glad that the hard part of setting of the cannon was over. "Ha ha, yeah, Lulu, we did it!" "Right on, Chrys!" At that moment, there was a faint knock at the door. "Chrys, Lulu? Is that you two I hear in there, and not a group of changelings making a mock bet about which one of you is the better fighter?" Chrysalis mentally reminded herself to have a word with her changelings before responding. "Yes, Tia, we're in here, no, we're not changelings...Uh, changeling drones, that is, and why are you still outside the door? Come in, Tia!" She picked up some earmuffs, noting that Luna had already done the same. "This is gonna be so great!" "Well, alright then." Celestia stepped inside the room, and was instantly met with a cannon barrel at face. "What th-" At that moment, Luna pressed down on the comically oversized red button, causing the cannon to fire its ammunition in the form of sound. "HELLO THERE!" Unfortunately, Celestia could not say hello back to the cannon, as she flew backwards, through a few walls, and only stopped when she reached the kitchens, where her landing zone was the giant cheesecake that she had asked the chef to create for her that evening, to share between all three of them. As ponies tried to piece together what just happened, Chrysalis and Luna were laughing it up. "Oh, Faust, did you see how far she flew?!" Chrysalis roared as she pounded the floor with a hoof. "Like, whoosh!" "Ahaha, yeah!" Luna cried, doubling over in laughter, "That was absolutely priceless!" A muffled cough was heard, and Luna turned around to see who made it; that pony was none other than Twilight Sparkle. "You know, if I were you two, I'd run." "Ah, good to see you, Sparkle! Run? Hee hee, whatever for, Twilight Sparkle? It was a good, if over the top prank, and my sister will see that!" "...Not when she landed in the cheesecake she asked to be made earlier. You know how much she likes cheesecake." Uh oh. Luna squinted at the direction that her sister had 'flown' through, and sure enough, she could just make out her dazed sister, with her normally clean, pristine coat covered with cheesecake. This is not good. "I think we're dead, Chrys." "Oh?" "Tia's gonna kill us. She landed in a cheesecake she wanted to eat later!" That does sound rather...Problematic for us. "...What do we do, then? "RUN!" "Agreed!" The two alicorns ran off in different directions, while 'Twilight Sparkle' grinned. "I knew the day would come where it would benefit me to have my faithful student be able to masquerade as me perfectly." With a dim flash, Twilight Sparkle turned into Celestia, and she sighed as she looked at the destruction the noise cannon created. "Though I do wish the cheesecake was spared." Author's Note Vinyl has made a small fortune selling noise cannons, there's quite the surprising demand for them Noise for the noise god HELLO THERE Inspired by this Poor Twilight Okay, now that's just rude, Lulu!That's rude, Lulu! One thing that has never been thoroughly taken note of were the alicorns. Most ponies took them for granted, and looked up to them as their guardians, and in some cases, as goddesses. Some...Even had 'unhealthy' obsessions with the alicorns, of which the most recent member, Chrysalis, finally joined. Historians have long sought to truly understand them, but very little information was present; after all, they behaved like normal ponies for the most part, so there wasn't anything specific to the alicorns that anypony could distinctly say was 'alicorn-only'. Today, that changed, however, as historians finally recorded something that would become the basis of many books; alicorns had a very bad temper when annoyed long enough. This was found out by Prince Blueblood, who had done some graffiti work on a castle wall. In hindsight, it probably wasn't wise to add 'By Bluebloodz sickk l33t magick 5killz' underneath his work, but he didn't want some rascal claiming his work for their own! Though, he was clearly regretting his decision now, as a very angry Luna was glaring at him. The only reason he wasn't in the dungeons right now was the fact that Luna deemed the dungeons as 'too good' for him, and was thinking of some other punishment for him. That, and she wanted to know the reasoning on why he mocked her so. This is unacceptable! I will not allow Blueblood to sully my name like so! This mockery of me will not go unpunished! "What do you have to say for yourself, Blueblood?! I cannot believe you would go to such lengths to disgrace me!" "Dang, Lulu, now I know what he did was wrong, but c'mon, can't you admire his work? It's very...Interesting." Chrysalis was with Luna, subbing in for Celestia, who was called away on official business with the builders guild concerning the constant destruction of the castle. Apparently they were going to discuss a potential way to make things easier on the workers, and things easier on the royal treasury. "After all, at the end of the day, it's just paint." Luna sighed, and shot an exasperated look at the alicorn across from her. "That may be so, but it's a painting of me! He drew me with a comically oversized moon pie, with the words 'Little loony Luna goes loony for moon pies' said by a nearby picture of my sister! Why must he make fun of my affection for moon pies?! That's not something you should be doing to anypony, much less me!" At this, Blueblood frowned, and spoke up against the accusation, offended by what his auntie said. "That was not my intent at all, auntie Lulu, to make fun of your inclination for moon pies! I was merely spreading out the word that you enjoy moon pies, and I had no ill intentions when making that picture!" Luna clearly wasn't buying his explanation. "Then why was your graffiti showing a clearly oversized me eating an equally oversized moon pie with Celestia calling me 'little loony Luna'?! I am little, I am not loony, but I am certainly and only Luna!" What did I get myself into...? Chrysalis studied Luna for a moment, and carefully picked out her next few words to avoid obtaining Luna's wrath. "...Well, you're smaller than Tia and you certainly...Have a bit of a crazy streak in you." Luna snorted. "I am not that much smaller than my sister! As to the remark about me having a crazy streak, so do you! So do all of us! We are all crazy, have you seen what happens around in this castle?!" ...Point taken. Too many crazy things happen around here, and I fear for my health in the future. "I suppose we all have a little bit of crazy in us, Lulu." Feeling like she had gained a little leverage over Chrysalis, Luna pressed on with attacking Blueblood verbally. "Indeed! However, none of us have as much of a crazy streak in us like Blueblood does, the villainous scoundrel!" I think I'll draw the line here; now she's just name calling. "Okay, now that's just rude, Lulu! You shouldn't call him out on that, you've done worse!" "Well, he made degrading graffiti of me! He made one earlier about Celestia, with the words 'Crazy caffeinated Celestia goes cuckoo for coffee cake!' I wouldn't be surprised if he made one of you, even though you haven't been with us long!" "So? I would personally find it flattering if he did so. It means he cares enough about me to make such things, and he obviously cares for you a great deal, Lulu, if he went ahead and did everything you're telling me right now!" I can't believe Chrys right now, and I can't believe what she's saying! "...That would flatter you, to have a spray painted picture on a wall somewhere, depicting you in a bad light?" "How exactly is your picture depicting you in a bad light? All it did was show you with a moon pie." "That's what I want to know! I need to know what Blueblood's intentions were with that picture, and what message it was meant to convey! Explain yourself, Blue...Blood?" While Luna was trying to explain why Blueblood was crazier than the rest of them, he had jumped out a now open window to escape the room. Without much thought put into her next action, Luna jumped out after him, bent on capturing him again so she could get some answers. "Oh no you don't, you rascal! You will explain yourself to me, come Faust or high water!" A very confused Chrysalis tried to process what just happened, and deciding that it would be better if she didn't understand what was going on, she began to think about what she'd tell Tia when she came back from the builder's guild. Author's Note It's about time I actually referenced the title of the story Chrysalis is replacing Celestia in this story Ponies jumping out the window Stop drinking so much coffee, Tia!Stop drinking so much coffee, Tia! Luna yawned as the sun rose; this was her cue to prepare for bed. Night court was exhausting, and she wanted nothing more than to sleep. A growl from her stomach, though, told her otherwise, and she wasn't about to try and go to sleep on an empty stomach. That wasn't very healthy. So, with the goal of filling up her tummy with some sort of snack in mind, she began to travel towards the kitchens; along the way, she met up with Chrysalis, who waved at her. "Lulu! How was night court?" "Terribly exhausting...I'm going to get a small snack from the kitchens before I go to sleep." "Ah. I'm feeling a bit peckish myself, so I'll join you. Balancing your check is weird...Did you really ask a unicorn to enchant a moon pie to become your pet?" "Yes, and it ended terribly, as it almost ate Blueblood. I had to dispel it personally." Oh. "I'm sorry, Lulu." Huh? "I'm not, that moon pie was twice as delicious as any moon pie I've ever eaten!" ...Even though that thing was your pet once upon a time, you still ate it? Only you. "Ah, I see." The two alicorns opened the doors to the kitchen, only to see Celestia sitting up straight and staring off into space next to an apologetic looking Coffee Joe, with empty coffee mugs littered all around Celestia like a minefield. Luna immediately knew this was a bad sign; after all, her sister wasn't usually that rigid, surrounded by coffee mugs, and lost in her train of thought. She didn't quite understand why it was a 'train' of thought, but if it indeed was a train, then truly, her sister's train of thought seemed to be derailed, if what she was seeing right now was anything to go off by. Chrysalis cleared her throat, and circled around Celestia. "Tia?" She raised a hoof to Celestia's face, and began waving it about; unfortunately, there was no reaction at all. "What has happened here, Coffee Joe? Has Tia's mind finally snapped?" The stallion sighed, and rubbed the back of his head, wondering where it all went wrong. "I don't know 'bout her mind snappin', but Celestia here came by, seemingly grumpy this morning. I know I would be, raising the sun early. She had a cup of coffee, then asked for seconds. Never have I ever heard her ask for a second cup, but I didn't think too much of it. I think that's where the problem began, actually. She said 'seconds', not 'second' cup, so...Yeah. I thought she was nursing her coffee nice and slow, though, apparently, that's not the case." "Indeed." Luna counted twenty coffee mugs on the floor, some of which still had dregs of coffee still inside. Her sister could be such a slob, and a lazy one at that. "So, when you looked back at her, she looked like...This?" "That would be correct." Chrysalis then made the mistake of gently pressing her right hoof against Celestia's nose, in an attempt to see if physical contact would snap her out of it. It did, though at the cost of realizing that Celestia certainly didn't drink decaf. "CHRYS!" Celestia cried out rather loudly, and the changeling alicorn suddenly found herself wrapped up in a bear crushing hug, constricting her ability to breathe. "Omigosh omigosh I feel soooooooo good! It's like I'm so happy and I'm happy and I jumpy and twitchy and my back itches and why aren't you saying anything Chrys Chrys Chrys?" Due to the lack of air, Chrysalis could not respond to the hyperactive alicorn, and she promptly passed out. Sighing, Celestia set Chrysalis down, then lunged at Luna, who swiftly dodged her sister after seeing the effects of what would happen if she were caught. "What are you doing, sister?!" "I feel so happy and amazing! It's like I can do anything! Wee!" To Luna's horror and astonishment, her sister jumped at a wall, and somehow, instead of her weight (which was always a tender subject) causing her to go through the wall, she bounced off it like it was made of rubber. Celestia began bouncing around like a pinball, and Luna swore she was hearing the 'ding' of points being awarded. "Everypony out! Celestia is hyper!" Her proclamation caused a ruckus as ponies scrambled to leave the kitchen, though she supposed that it was more because Celestia was now a living pinball then what she actually said. When it was just her, Coffee Joe and an unconscious Chrysalis, Luna threw a frying pan at Celestia, causing her to go off-course and land in a sack of potatoes meant for lunch later. "Stop drinking so much coffee, Tia! Look what you've done to the kitchen!" "I'm sorry but I'm having so much fun bouncing around like bouncy bouncy bouncy bounce!" This is going to be impossible to deal with. "Please, sister, stop!" "Nope, I won't do as you say!" Celestia prepared to start bouncing again, when she suddenly tripped over a bag of potatoes. Luna expected her to jump right back up and ricochet off the walls again, but her sister made no movement at all. Concerned, Luna walked up to her sister, and did what any concerned pony would do; grab the biggest stick (or similar to) they could find (in this particular case it was a nearby pot), and poke at Celestia gently. "Tia? Tia, are you okay?" "She's under a coffee crash right now." Luna turned around to see Coffee Joe, who was looking around in dismay at the destruction caused by the living pinball. "Even though coffee can help you stay awake, it can also sometimes give you a massive 'crash' later on, in which you'll feel extremely tired and cranky, and the only real solution after that is to either drink more coffee which I would not recommend in this case, or take a nap, which I do. I'm guessing she spent all her energy becoming a pinball." Luna processed this information slowly, then looked at her sister, who was indeed sleeping. "...Don't tell me I'm going to have to take care of her duties and Chrysalis', aren't I?" "Yep." "And I won't get any breaks in-between duties?" "Most likely." Luna suddenly located a pair of sunglasses that weren't damaged, and she levitated them over, placing them over her eyes. "Bring it on." Author's Note Coffee Joe returns Crazy caffinated Celestia makes her appearance as a living pinball Today is not Chrysalis' day This is unacceptable, Lulu!This is unacceptable, Lulu! Celestia hummed quietly to herself as she walked down a long pathway in the castle, not particularly headed in any direction. The reason why was because she had just finished a rather tiring meeting with a few of the aristocrats (made only slightly better by Fancy Pants, which she thanked immensely for keeping them under control, for the most part), and she felt that she should spend her recess walking around the castle. Hm. Fancy Pants is bearable, as always, though not even he can help me through this meeting. Honestly, what are ponies thinking these days? It's as if they've lost all sense of dignity nowadays. Due to her musing, she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings, and Celestia bumped into Chrysalis, who was perplexed at why Celestia didn't return her greetings yet continued to walk at her. "Oof! Oh, hello, Chrys; I'm sorry about that." I think somepony here is distracted. Just a guess. "No harm done, Tia. Bit for your thoughts?" "Well," Celestia began, resuming her walk, with Chrysalis following her, "I'm just thinking about the latest thing that the aristocrats wish to add to Canterlot. It's rather confusing, to say the least, and I don't know why it was brought up in the first place." Oh; I don't envy you, then. My changelings can be just as difficult. "What have they brought up now?" "They want to add a roller coaster as a means of transportation around Canterlot. Roller coaster tracks everywhere, judging by their demands; that would be chaos! It would probably take three times our current guard to cover over, and that still may not be safe for ponies." ...That actually seems like fun, though I agree, dangerous as well. "Oh my. Haven't your aristocrats been to school?" "Yes. Their schooling, however, is about learning how to flaunt money and make ridiculous demands simply because they can pay for it. In other words, homeschooled. Their parents didn't want to send them into 'common' school, so...This is what I have to work with." "How have you put up with them?" "Some are bearable, such as Fancy Pants, who grew up in an orphanage and rose to become an aristocrat; he knows what ponies really need, having been a 'common' pony himself. Fluttershy also knows what ponies want, though she's often too busy to attend the meetings here, and I don't want that pegasus to attend such meetings, anyway; she's too shy, although she does speak the truth most of the time, which most aristocrats don't like to hear." Chrysalis snorted, remembering the shy pegasus. "Fluttershy? She's an aristocrat? I never would have guessed her out of all ponies would be among the Elite of Canterlot." "Oh, she actually is, though! She was sent by her parents to live in Cloudsdale with her aunt and uncle to learn how to fly in flight school, as is custom of most pegasai. She simply found her calling in taking care of animals in the countryside, that's all. Her current name that she gives to her friends is an anagram of her actual name, 'Fley Truths'." "Well, that's certainly a bit of information I never knew. Oh, we're nearing the mailroom; do you mind coming along with me? I need to grab the packaging records in the storage room, and I think there's a special package for you thats been set aside." "I get sent packages all the time, but I'll follow you in; I have nothing to do anyway." The two alicorns walked into the massive mailroom, nodding at the ponies who worked there. It was always quite busy, with ponies constantly sending mail to the alicorns. Most of it was simple affection, although others were...Disturbing and questionable, to say the least. After a few near accidents of mailbags tipping over and a sudden tornado that was throwing letters everywhere in the right places (due to a unicorn testing a new spell to speed up mail sorting), Celestia and Chrysalis arrived at the package section of the mailroom without much injury other than a few papercuts. "That spell was amazing, Chrys!" "Indeed. Sure, we got a few papercuts and it was messy, but, if it was refined, it could save the mail district tons on injuries caused by sorting mail!" "My ponies get injured sorting mail, Chrys?" "Like you wouldn't believe, Tia. Why-" A sudden crash was heard, and the two alicorns quickly rushed to the source of the sound, which happened to be Luna, who was grumbling about poor hoof placement. When she looked up, she visibly gulped, and Celestia instantly knew that Luna was up to something. "Hello, Lulu." "...Hi, Tia, Chrys! How are you? Ha ha, fancy meeting you two here..." "Spit it out, Lulu; what are you doing here?" Luna seemed to be at a loss for words, and Celestia was waiting impatiently for her sister to answer her, so only Chrysalis noticed the stamp located next to Luna. She levitated it up, and slowly read what the stamp said, with some confusion apparent in her voice. Both Celestia and Luna looked at her when she began speaking, Celestia with curiosity in her eyes, and horror in Luna's. "Return...To...Sender. Why do you have a stamp that says 'Return to sender', Lulu?" Returning my packages, Lulu? "Indeed. Why?" Luna sighed, knowing that her gig was up."I was stamping packages of apples sent to you by Applejack. I've been doing it for a few months, Tia. I really, really don't like apples!" Of all the things you could be doing... "This is unacceptable, Lulu!" "You're not going to be able to finish eating all those apples Applejack sends you, so you'll probably make me eat them!" Celestia could not believe what her sister was saying right now. "That's not true!" "How would I know?!" "You mean you did all this because you thought that I would force feed you apples?!" Luna considered what her sister said, then nodded. "...Yes." Chrysalis, meanwhile, slowly walked away from the two, picking up the packaging records and leaving Luna to her fate. "Those two..." Author's Note Fluttershy is actually the fifth richest pegasus in Equestria Luna gets caught Luna has gone behind Celestia's back all this time I could, possibly, make a little side-story about 'Fley Truths', though I'm not exactly sure it'd be humorous I can't describe it, Lulu!I can't describe it, Lulu! Chrysalis was currently rummaging through her refurbished room (though it still felt like a closet) for a snack. Although she mainly fed on love, it wasn't very nutritious, so she still had to eat like every other pony. While it was true that she probably could have just gone into the kitchens nearby for a more filling item, she didn't want to disturb the cooks; apparently Celestia and Luna bothered the cooks every other day, so she didn't want to add to that. Unfortunately, her own personal little fridge had absolutely nothing inside of it, which irked her immensely. "There was literally a mountain of marshmallows here, and now there's nothing! Tia mentioned something about each of them having a little space set aside for each of them containing their own snacks, and I know I sent my list of things I like to the chefs! Ugh..." Upset over the fact that she had no food to consume now, she picked up the mini fridge and threw it at her door. Of course, that was when the door opened, and a startled voice rang out. "What the heck?! Chrys, are you TRYING to kill me?!" Life was funny like that; Chrysalis indeed wanted her mini fridge to die, though she didn't think it would try to take another pony with it. Nice timing, Chrys. She flashed an apologetic smile at the annoyed alicorn. "Sorry, Lulu! I assure you it was not my intention to kill you with an empty mini fridge!" "Doesn't look like it from what I saw." Luna walked into the room, levitating Chrysalis' mini fridge behind her. "Honestly, Chrys, you need to be more careful." I need to be more careful? This is coming from the alicorn that jumped out the window and just barely managed to fit through it, just to chase Blueblood. "Uh, okay. That is deliciously ironic, Lulu, coming from you." Luna set down the mini fridge next to Chrysalis, and stuck her tongue out at her. "Stop mocking me, Chrys! I hate it when you turn my own words around on me like that. Anyway, I came back to ask you a question, that is, if you're comfortable about answering it. It's...Something I felt like should come from you rather than asking a random changeling." Interesting. "Oh? What do you need asking me for that cannot be answered by any other changeling?" "Well, I also wanted a personal view on it, and since, well, you were the former queen of the changelings, you'd know something of it." Luna pulled up a chair, and sat across from Chrysalis. "Not to be rude, but your changelings also aren't the easiest things to talk to. They tend to...Absorb a few details from the ponies they've masqueraded, apparently, because I've recently met a large group of changelings asking for permission to take leave for Ponyville because they suddenly feel like becoming crazed bakers, obsessive fashion designers, stubborn apple farmers, paranoid librarians, quiet animal caretakers and loud, obnoxious Wonderbolt hopefuls. They're not really who I'd go to in the first place. You are, though!" I really wish I knew why my changelings keep a few personality traits of other ponies with them, because it's not making my life easier. I also sincerely hope she's not about to ask about the holes in our hooves, because that's a story I'd rather not explain. "Well, you're keeping me in too much suspense, Lulu! I'm going to need you to tell me what the question is if you want an answer to that question." "I know how the process works, Chrys, sheesh. Anyway, what's it like, taking love from a pony, and how does it taste like?" Hm...That's a very interesting question, actually. It's about on the same level of difficulty of trying to describe color to a blind pony. "It's...Well, it's just like eating, really, Lulu. Just...A lot different. It's like...Um..." Chrysalis began to think about changelings and their unique need for love. How exactly did you describe that to somepony that wasn't a changeling? "...All I can say for sure is the first part of your question about 'taking' love from a pony, and my answer to that is that they might feel a little drained of energy, but they won't be any worse for wear, unless a changeling feeds off them regularly. I can't really say anything about the taste, you have to be a changeling to understand what love tastes like." Luna had a look of despair on her face that was very accurately showing how sad her curiosity was. If there was ever a word able to fully describe what I'm feeling right now, it would be disappointment. "But Chrys, the taste! It's something that I really, really want to know! You can't just tell me it's something that only changelings would be able to understand!" "I can't describe it, Lulu! I'm sorry, but that's all I can say!" Luna stood up from her chair, with a sudden, desperate look in her eyes. No! I need to know! "You don't understaaaaaaaaaaaand Chrys, I neeeeeeeeeeeeed to know! It's annoying to have this curiosity you just can't satisfy, like an itch that won't go away, or that moon pie you want but can't have because you ate them all already, or...Or something else equally annoying! This will haunt me for a very long time, and as immortal alicorns a long time is too long! Please, I need to knooooooooooow!" "First, you put me down. Gently." During Luna's panic, she had picked up Chrysalis in her hooves and was adjusting her position in what seemed like an attempt to throw her. How does that even happen? I need to panic less. Sheepishly, Luna set Chrysalis back down, who was trying to figure out an answer for Luna's sake. What do I say? I don't exactly have an answer to her question, so I should probably think of something that would push her away. Hm...Ah, got it! She hates apples but likes bananas, so I should combine the two together and see if that's enough to push her away! "Well, the closest thing that I can say that love tastes like for me is a banapple." Once Chrysalis said that, she dearly wished she could have captured Luna's confused expression on her face, because it was by far the best thing she'd seen in a long while. "I...Huh? What? A banapple...?" "Yes, Lulu, a combination of bananas and apples, and what a delightful combination it is! I try to mix actual apples and bananas together in an attempt to replicate the taste, but sadly, it just doesn't taste the same, like love does." There was an unsettling twitch of Luna's eyes, and her voice suddenly took on a menacing tone. Unfortunately for Chrysalis, she didn't notice. "You...You eat apples...And mix them with bananas...?" "Correct, Lulu! It's actually one of my favorite things to do, since it tastes great!" You did not just...HOW COULD YOU, CHRYS?! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING! Luna grimaced, and spoke with the intensity that was the Royal Canterlot Voice. "THAT'S DISGUSTING! HOW COULD YOU EAT SUCH AN UNHOLY ABOMINATION?! I WILL KILL YOU, HERETIC!" Uh oh. Author's Note Mini fridge projectiles on sale for 2.50 Luna wonders what love tastes like and is too curious Chrysalis can't describe anything so she tries to push Luna away It backfires Badly No way, Tia!No way, Tia! Alicorns like mischief. Who could blame them? They had all the time in the world to themselves, and so they needed a way to relieve their boredom. Playing pranks, tricks, and all sorts of things on other ponies and each other to amuse themselves was something that they needed to do in order to go through their daily routine. It was here, though, that the problems began; sometimes, one alicorn's mischief tended to get out of hoof. Really quickly, as Chrysalis was finding out. "I swear I didn't do it, Tia!" Chrysalis was currently running away (with a duck perched on her head and quacking what she assumed to be insults) while performing some excellent parkour as she weaved around ponies, taking great care to avoid causing harm to them as she ran on walls, grabbed onto ledges, and just, well, did things she didn't know she could do in the first place. In contrast to her graceful, death defying stunts and acrobats, Celestia was a bulldozer that didn't care about what got in her way, since she could just smash into it and be none worse the wear. She didn't trample over her ponies and changelings, but she didn't make any attempts to avoid them, either. Thankfully, most ponies and changelings had the sense to step out of Chrysalis' way, and those with even more sense took three steps to avoid Celestia. Those that weren't as lucky or had slow reaction times would find themselves in the suddenly crowded infirmary later that day, much to Celestia's later embarrassment and shame. "Of course you did! Who else would have set up banana bombs in my room?!" Maybe if you would stop rampaging through the castle and listened to me, we'd be pulling a return prank on Lulu! Chrysalis was going to get her revenge on Luna, if Celestia didn't kill her first. The duck quacked as if in agreement with her, and she wondered if ducks could read the minds of ponies if they were settled on their heads. Her mind wandered back to when this all started, and to that accursed lever that was in Luna's room. The day had started off normally, as did most days; today, Luna was off on an important meeting with a few ponies, something that she was oddly excited for. Before she left, she took Chrysalis aside, apparently wanting to speak with her in private. That probably should have had been Chrysalis' first clue that Luna was planning something. "Chrys, there's something very important I have to tell you." Chrysalis was a bit confused, since she thought that Luna would first confide with her sister first before her. "Shouldn't you be confiding in your sister, then, instead of me?" Luna shifted uncomfortably, obviously discomforted over something, though what, Chrysalis didn't have a clue at all. "Tia is precisely the reason why I cannot tell her of all ponies; she would banish me if she knew about this!" I'm getting myself into something I shouldn't be involved in, aren't I... Chrysalis placed a hoof on Luna's right shoulder in an attempt to try and comfort her. "Whoa, whoa, okay, Lulu, hold up. Breathe slowly. Explain this to me, and explain why your sister would banish you for whatever it is." Luna looked around, making sure there was nopony around, and leaned in, speaking quietly to her. "I have been working on strange things, things that would cause no end of trouble if used incorrectly. That is why I need you to stay in my room, guarding it from others that may try to use the devices I have hid within! They aren't dangerous, per se, but they do have the ability to anger a lot of ponies if used incorrectly! I need to tell Tia the benefits of using these devices, but first I must thoroughly test them out! They may be unsafe as of now, so please, don't touch anything that looks suspicious!" "Alright Lulu, I'll keep your room nice and safe, don't you worry!" -Some time later- "This is so boring. I thought this would be fun, adventure filled job!" Chrysalis groaned as she looked up at the duck that was nesting on her head. She was laying down on Luna's bed, and although she was supposed to be 'guarding' her room, in reality she was killing herself by simply being in there. There wasn't much out of place in Luna's room; heck, you could pass it on as an alicorn-sized playroom. There were toys scattered around, ranging from plushies of Rainbow Dash (Chrysalis counted twenty in all), water guns, rubber ducks, real ducks (they were currently snuggling up with her, which she found to be slightly disturbing and a clear violation of personal space, and only tolerated because they were Luna's ducks), and the odd painting. Oh, and the lever in the middle of the room. This lever was avoided by the ducks, which gave her all the reason to avoid it herself. Chrysalis didn't know why there was a lever of all things in the middle of the room. She assumed that it was just a prop, since she didn't think Luna of all ponies would actually put a working lever in the middle of her room, where anypony could flip it. Her curiosity, though, was nonetheless working against her, due to being put in a boring situation. She got up from Luna's bed, causing all the ducks except for the one on her head to flap away. She neared the lever, and paused as she reached out a hoof. Should I really do this? I mean, Luna told me not to touch anything, but it's so boring in her room, and the ducks aren't helping. I'm not sure if this is a prop, or something else... Her mind raged a battle between wanting to satisfy her curiosity, to simply going back to Luna's bed and doing nothing. In the end, her curiosity won and utterly crushed the other side, so she threw the lever. The duck on her head seemed to quack fearfully, though nothing actually happened. Well, that did nothing. I guess it was a prop after all. Probably a decoy that Luna put it which...Probably activated a trap somewhere. Did I just spring a trap on myself? As she looked around Luna's room for any signs of incoming confectionary or frying pans, she heard a rumble throughout the castle. It took awhile for Chrysalis to realize it was her name being called out by a very, very angry Celestia. "CHRYSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIS!" I think she's mad at me. Faust help me. How was I supposed to know that the lever I pulled happened to activate a booby trap that shot out banana cream pies in Celestia's study? AND WHAT KIND OF TIMING IS THAT, WITH TIA JUST ABOUT TO SIT DOWN IN HER STUDY?! "You got nothin' on me, Tia! No proof that I did anything! I didn't do anything to you, honest!" The duck quacked, and threw a feather at Celestia, which did nothing to improve Celestia's mood. All I wanted to do is sit down and read a book, but no, I get attacked by multiple banana cream pies all at once! "I highly doubt that's the case, Chrys! Now get over here!" "No way, Tia!" And so, chaos rampaged through the castle until Luna came back, and then once the truth got out, all three got into a brawl that only ended when Cadence arrived from her surprise visit, and she went through the painful task of breaking them up and forcing them to make apology cupcakes for each other. Author's Note Celestia has a part time job working as a living bulldozer Chrysalis has made close friends with the duck on her head, and calls her Quackum Luna's gonna get what's coming for her Would I ever, Tia!Would I ever, Tia! What is with the saying 'You can't have your cake and eat it, too'? If the cake is in my stomach, then surely it's 'mine'! It sure as heck isn't Tia's or Lulu's, or any other pony, for that matter. Ponies come up with the weirdest things sometimes... Quackum, who was perched on her head seemed to agree with her, letting out a quiet quack. Currently, Chrysalis was eating some cake with Celestia, and with them feeling a touch too lazy to go down to the kitchens today, had it sent up to Celestia's balcony, where they were enjoying the sun setting. It wouldn't be long before Celestia had to go to sleep, so she decided to spend a little time with her before that happened. The free cake was a bonus, too. "Mm...Isn't this how life should be like, Chrys? Just sitting out in the somewhat warm twilight, with a friend with a duck on their head and some cake for company? It just feels right." Celestia levitated another spoonful of cake into her mouth, while looking over at a content Chrysalis. A slight nod accompanied Chrysalis' words as Quackum quacked her agreement. "That sounds far better than what Luna wanted to do, so yes, it indeed is right." A curious Celestia raised a brow, wondering what her sister tried to rope Chrysalis into this time. "Oh? What did Luna want to do, Chrys?" "Well, it involves Bluebloo-" That's never a good thing, and it'll probably have me questioning my sanity. "Never mind, please don't tell me." Chrysalis stuck her tongue out at Celestia, and put a forkful of cake in her mouth. "Mmmph, knew ya'd react that way." Rolling her eyes, Celestia set her plate aside, and watched as the duck jumped off of Chrysalis' head to wander around the balcony. "You've grown attached to that duck, haven't you?" "I suppose. She wouldn't leave me alone, and apparently likes sitting on my head. I have no say in the matter, apparently. Her name is Quackum." Celestia grinned at that. "Oh, poor Chrysalis, having been bested by a duck!" "Not funny, Tia!" "Hee hee. Well, as much as I want to continue teasing you, I have to lower the sun completely to make way for the night; Luna should be up now, and she gets cranky when she has to move my sun out of the way first before she can lift up her moon." Chrysalis watched as Celestia extended her wings out slowly and lit her horn, levitating herself up in the air. No matter how many times Chrysalis saw either Luna or Celestia perform the ritual for raising and lowering their respective domains, it still managed to be an amazing sight that never lost its grandeur. It was like eating rainbows, though a heck of a lot cooler (or hotter; whenever Celestia raised to sun, it always felt like it got ten degrees hotter nearby) and was actually possible to witness. There were no words that existed to even try to explain the phenomenon in front of her; there just weren't any words at all. Many have tried, and none have even come close to describing how serene and breath-taking the scene could be. You were watching an alicorn raise the sun, how could you describe something like that? You simply can't, Chrysalis murmured inside her head, you simply can't describe something this beautiful. It's times like this that I truly see their power, and how easily they could crush me under the sheer weight of it. I really, really hope I didn't sign my death warrant early by siding with them. All too soon, and yet seemingly having taken forever, Celestia was done with lowering the sun completely, and slowly, her hooves were back down on the ground. With an amused glance towards Chrysalis, Celestia spoke softly, and even hesitantly. "So...Do you enjoy watching me raise the sun, Chrys?" Of course! It's only the most amazing thing ever! Though her mind was exploding with compliments, Chrysalis could only nod at Celestia. The beginnings of a rather sinister plan worked up in Celestia's mind, and she smiled at the alicorn across from her. "Well, then...How would you like to learn how to raise and lower the sun?" Chrysalis was astounded by what she heard; she couldn't believe that such thing was offered! Raising and lowering the sun? She'd be a fool not to leap on this chance! "Would I ever, Tia! Please, it's just so amazing whenever I see you do either action!" Excellent. "Of course, there is one thing I want you to promise to do." I'll gladly accept any terms and conditions! "I agree!" I...Huh? I haven't even said what I wanted her to do. Confused and slightly regretful over abusing her relationship with Chrysalis, Celestia made a slight frown at the very giddy alicorn in front of her. "Chrys, I haven't even said what I wanted you to do." "Doesn't matter, I can raise and lower the sun! Besides, I doubt you'd make me do something you know is disturbing and wrong." "...True, it's not 'wrong' the way I see it, bu-" "Ah! Say no more, I agree to whatever it is." Well, then... "Alright, Chrys, I'll teach you how to raise and lower the sun, and in return..." One year later I hate Celestia. On the bright side, I get to do this! Chrysalis was currently under guise as Princess Celestia, and was attending the Summer Sun Celebration in Manehattan. All things considered, it wasn't bad, though it was annoying having ponies coming up to you, kissing your hooves and praising your name like some kind of object to be worshipped (especially if you were a changeling disguising as Celestia). No wonder Celestia said this was her most hated public event, and it apparently was one she was always forced to attend, as a public relations move. At least, unless Celestia ordered her to take her place. This shapeshifting is a curse in disguise. Well, let's get on with it, Chrysalis! At least you get to raise the sun. Slowly, she levitated herself up in the air, and began the awesome task of raising the sun. Author's Note Celestia uses spoons, Chrysalis uses forks, which one of them eats cake the right way Quackum Chrysalis, being the youngest alicorn in my headcanon, is easily impressed by Celestia and Luna's raising and lowering of the sun and moon, respectively Which led to her being easily tricked It was her fault though That was meant for you, Lulu!That was meant for you, Lulu! A piece of cake a day, lackaday, a piece of cake a day! Not two, not three, not zero, but one! Oh, lackaday, only one piece of cake a day! A mourning Celestia was upset over the piece of cake she practically inhaled; due to many of the cooks taking their leave for summer vacation, food production in the castle had decreased dramatically. That meant smaller meals, which meant less food, which meant... Less cake. Of all things, less cake! ...And with less ponies to share it with. Glumly, she looked around her room, which was, as always, spotless, clean, perfect. Everything a pony could ask for and more! ...However, it still wasn't enough for her. Chrysalis was off on a little trip to teach some young changelings how to shape shift, and Luna was currently sleeping. She was alone, without much to do that wasn't mind-numbingly boring. She set aside the (now crumb-filled) plate, laid down on her bed, and began to think about possible things she could be doing right now to occupy her time. Ugh, nothing's more boring than paperwork, so I think I'll pass on that; besides, most of it is already done, so I can finish it tomorrow. There's a nearby hospital I could visit and hold a little story time, but by the time I get there, it's going to be past visiting time, and I don't want to cause a fuss. Hm... While judging her options, she was staring up at her ceiling, lost in thought. ...Could really use another piece of cake right about now...Why do most of my chefs take their vacation in the summer? It's not fair to me! Do they not see the importance of cake?! Feeling miffed, she rolled over on her bed, and sunk her head into one of her pillows. Being Princess isn't all fun and games; I wish I could be like Twilight, without much responsibility other than a few letters from time to time. Say...That should occupy my time for a short while! With newfound purpose in her life, Celestia walked up to her desk, sat down at the really comfy chair located there, and pulled out a quill, some ink, parchment, and an iHOOF, all the necessary tools for writing a letter to somepony. As she found one of her favorite tunes to listen to, she set to work on writing a letter to Twilight, mostly inquiring as to what she was doing. My faithful student, You may be anticipating a new assignment, or perhaps something of the like upon opening this letter. That is not so; I needed something to occupy my time, and writing a letter to you seemed to be the best thing to do. I am sorry if you are disappointed in the lack of any additional assignments, but fret not, because I'm sure you're too busy with your friends for another assignment. You're probably now thinking of ways to tell me that I'm wrong, but, the statistics show that Ponyville is quite the busy village! Speaking of which, how is Ponyville? Statistics and the like of said place don't do it justice enough, if at all! However, even the statistics are rather unusual and in some cases unbelieveable. How did such a small village get so much trouble in such a short amount of time? I'm considering extending a small guard outpost to the area, though I'd like your input on such a thing. After all, it could potentially disrupt the town's seemingly natural way of attracting trouble. I'm sure some ponies would like that, though. As for me, well, I'm doing fine. Other than the boredom, at least. I can't really help it, though; the duties of my position and the demands of ponies drains what little free time I get, and the time I do get to spend is usually in my room, without much to do. That's probably why I began writing this letter in the first place. I really need to get out and experience more in life, don't I? Anyway, it's been awhile since your last visit to the castle; how about stopping by for a cup of tea? Luna and I would enjoy your company immensely. There's also a special, permanent guest here at the castle that I'd like for you to meet! Though, I'm going to have to ask you not to blast her on sight. You'll know why I wrote that later, if you decide to come on by. Speaking of Luna, she's doing quite well! Her adjusting to modern society is rough, but it's only to be expected. She enjoyed Nightmare night and would be thrilled to see you again! Well, that's all I really wanted to write about, Twilight. I hope to see you here in the castle soon! Sincerely, Princess Celestia With the short letter done, Celestia zapped it with a small burst of magic, where it would then be regurgitated by an unfortunate dragon later. As she watched a small wisp of smoke dissipate into the air, she realized that she had nothing to do now. Disturbed by this knowledge, she stood up from her desk, and looked over at a nearby clock. Surprisingly, writing that short letter took a lot of time, leaving only thirty minutes until Luna woke up. Just enough time to set up a prank on my sister. Luna always was a heavy sleeper, and was just as grumpy as her when waking up. A wake-up call in the form of a prank should be a lot better than a cold shower. At least, that's what Celestia reasoned, as she set her trap. All that was needed now was one alicorn to complete it! She was currently hiding behind a pillar in such a way that she was only able to see the silhouette of anypony that might happen to walk by; thankfully, this hallway was mostly empty, so her prank could go off without any complications from any unfortunate pony who might wonder why there was an unattended, perfectly frosted and mouth-watering cupcake on the floor. There was an invisible web all around the cupcake, ready to trigger upon Celestia's command. Soon enough, she could hear the slow footsteps of somepony approaching, and in the dark, Celestia could faintly make it out as an alicorn. All going to plan. She saw the cupcake being levitated up, and with a mere flick of her horn, triggered the trap. Celestia heard the sounds of struggling, and knew that her prank worked. She walked out, laughing, though the laughter died when she realized she got the wrong alicorn. "Chrys?! I...What?!" A very annoyed looking Chrysalis stopped struggling to look at Celestia. "Please tell me you didn't set me up for this, you know how much I love cupcakes!" A new voice rang out, mixed with fatigue and curiosity. "What the heck is going on here?" Celestia looked beyond Chrysalis to see her sister pointing at Chrysalis. "And why is Chrys in a net, with what looks like cupcake splattered all over her body?" Celestia groaned as she let go of the magic holding Chrysalis, and the mentioned alicorn fell to the floor with a thump and an undignified groan. "That was meant for you, Lulu!" Luna stared at her sister, then at Chrysalis, who was shakily standing back up. "...That wasn't what I was expecting to hear, but okay." A purple flash on the edge of Celestia's vision caused her to sigh as Twilight teleported into the area. "I didn't mean 'soon' as in 'after you finished reading the letter', Twilight!" The three alicorns (and unicorn who was trying her best not to blast Chrysalis right there and then) all looked at each other, with varying levels of confusion and exasperation, and it wasn't until Twilight spoke up that the awkward scene broke. "So...Seeings as we're all gathered around...Who wants to go get a slurpee?" "Hm. 'A' slurpee, Twilight?" Celestia said, staring at her student hungrily. The unicorn began backing away slowly upon seeing that the other two alicorns gave similar looks at her. Seeing as there was no real way out of this situation, Twilight resigned herself to her fate. "...Alicorns must really like slurpees...Goodbye, bits!" Author's Note More slice of life than humor Celestia is bored once again Chrysalis suffers because of it Doesn't matter to her though because they get slurpees I don't think this was part of your plan, Tia!I don't think this was part of your plan, Tia! Chrysalis was in the process of feeding Quackum some bread. While it was rather random that one of Luna's ducks had decided to take a special interest in her, there wasn't much she could do now; the duck practically made her head her home. It wasn't all bad, though; at least she couldn't complain about needing a hat now, since Quackum's feathers were very good at keeping heat in. Luna didn't mind one of her ducks going rogue, either, so that was good. "Here you go, Quackum! Some nice, warm bread from the kitchens!" She scattered some fresh bread around, and watched as Quackum waddled around, gobbling up the bread. "That's a good duck." Quackum quacked in agreement, and Chrysalis wondered if ducks had more intelligence than they showed. It was then that there was a knocking at her door, followed by one of her changelings calling out. "Princess Chrysalis, you have a message from Princess Celestia! She wants to you to join her in the private dining room for a little snack, two hours from now! She...Uh, specifically said to bring Quackum along! Will you attend?" Huh. Snack time with Celestia, with Quackum? Perfect timing for me, I haven't eaten anything in awhile. "Sure! Give my regards to Celestia, and tell her I shall join her two hours from now!" As the message was being sent, she turned around to pat Quackum on the head gently. "Looks like we'll be getting more food in two hours! Does that sound good, Quackum?" Quackum quacked, and Chrysalis took that as a 'yes'. Two hours later, Chrysalis (with Quackum upon her head) arrived in the dining room, only to enter with a rather ridiculous scene in front of them. Philomena had Celestia's crown clutched in her talons, and she was flying around the table, playing keep-away with an exasperated looking Celestia. "Philomena, please, give me my crown back before Chrysalis and Quackum show up!" Celestia launched herself at Philomena, in a desperate attempt to grab the crown. It was then that Philomena threw the crown at Chrysalis, just before she was tackled to the ground by Celestia. Sensing immediate danger to her life, Quackum quacked loudly as she flew off of Chrysalis' head, and just in time, as the crown neatly landed on Chrysalis' head, which, given the circumstances, Chrysalis found to be unbelieveable. Silence reigned throughout the area as Celestia realized that she and Philomena were not alone, and Chrysalis didn't want to say anything that would make the situation any more awkward than it already was. Fortunately, they were both saved from waiting for the other to talk first by Philomena and Quackum, the latter of whom quacked loudly to get their attention. Both princesses looked over at their respective birds to see them playing a game of charades, and then what they assumed to be laughter. Smiling at both the sight and the fact that the awkward situation was defused, she walked on over to Celestia, and removed the crown from her head. "This thing is heavy, Tia...How can you wear it?" Celestia took the crown from Chrysalis, and set it snugly on her head. "I don't really think about it, Chrysalis, and I've been wearing it for so long that the weight doesn't really bother me. Now, then, I called you down here because I want snack-time with a friend, but also to have our little pets mingle with each other. Luna should also be down here, though she may be a bit late." She offered Chrysalis some cheese and crackers, which Chrysalis took gleefully, having not eaten much today. "Yes, cheese and crackers! So this get-together was also to have our pets introduced to each other?" I never thought of Quackum as a pet; more like a hat that quacks, really. Celestia nodded, watching as the two began circling each other. Probably a part of their game. "Indeed, I figured it would be nice to have the two of them get to know each other, and it seems like it's going we-" Quackum suddenly launched herself at Philomena, quacking what both alicorns later thought of as a warcry, while Philomena quickly backed up from the rampaging duck, and flew around, trying to avoid the duck while finding a vulnerable spot to attack. Both Celestia and Chrysalis exchanged a quick glance at each other before grabbing their respective pets up, and gently scolding them. "Philomena! I expected you to be polite when introduced to another bird!" "Quackum, you shouldn't fight other birds, especially ones that could make a roast duck out of you!" Their words fell on deaf ears, as Philomena suddenly and willingly became too hot for Celestia to handle (which was quite hot), and launched herself at Quackum again. At the same time, Quackum bit on Chrysalis' hoof, causing her to drop her duck in pain, and Quackum began quacking defiantly at Philomena. As both alicorns nursed their injuries, they soon realized that things were quickly getting out of hoof. "I don't think this was part of your plan, Tia!" "Nevermind that, Chrys, we need some help!" "Agreed, Lulu will know what to do!" It was then that Luna entered the dining room, and she took everything she saw as yet another prank ready to be played upon her. She quickly backed out of the room while yelling at the top of her lungs. "OH NO, I AM CERTAINLY NOT FALLING FOR THIS!" Celestia groaned as Philomena set fire to the table, forcing Quackum off of it with singed feathers, and tried to reason with her sister. "Lulu, wait, this isn't a prank!" Snorting, Luna still kept her distance away from the dining room, which was beginning to fill up with smoke that was drifting off into the hallway. "Likely story, Tia! Why is the dining room trashed and the birds fighting?! This is nothing more than elaborate prank upon me!" Chrysalis was hit by a wave of coughing due to the smoke from the table, and she wheezed before waving her hooves at Luna. "No it's not, Philomena and Quackum are just getting out of hoof, and are going to burn the castle down if we don't do something!" Luna narrowed her eyes at her sister, then looked over at Chrysalis, who was now trying to calm the birds down. "There is no prank set for me?" Nodding, Celestia offered her a slight smile. "None, Lulu!" Although still wary of her sister and Chrysalis' intentions, there was no doubting that the dining room needed to be saved. I need a vacation from all this madness. Luna cleared her throat, and levitated over her cellphone, dialing the emergency code for rescue ponies, nine-one-one. "Alright. Okay, now, let's stop those birds from destroying the private dining room, starting with the fire!" Author's Note Quack quack Quackum The dining room was just barely saved by the brave fireponies Quackum and Philomena are now kept seperate I have to eat that cake, Lulu!I have to eat that cake, Lulu! You know, if something is beautiful, then ponies will cherish it, naturally. It also stands to reason that any destruction of something beautiful would make ponies cry; I am no exception to that rule. I've cried as the old castle in the Everfree was ruined in Luna's rampage, and I've mourned the loss of breathtaking works of art lost in the Canterlot museum of Art fire not too long ago. Yet, all of that seems pale in comparison to what I'm seeing right now...I just don't know what to do! Why, if I could call something perfect, this would be it! With a groan, Celestia tried to ignore the life sized cake of her student, Twilight Sparkle, which was currently on a massive plate in the grand dining room. It's so enticing to look at, and it must be amazing to the tastebuds! However, I must be strong! I must not eat the cake! I must at least wait for Twilight Sparkle to arrive first before snarfing down that delicious hunk of a cake! With a buttery resolve, Celestia tore her eyes away from the cake, and out towards the grand hall doors, where, in about five minutes, Twilight Sparkle and her friends would be arriving to celebrate the day where, by some extremely strange coincidence, they all got their cutie marks. To be fair, while Celestia was doing a decent job of not slobbering over the cake, she was quickly losing her mind over the remarks Chrysalis and Luna were making as they circled around the cake, admiring it out loud. Eyeing the cake with what one could consider to be a sultry gaze, Luna began the unintentional torturing to her sister. "Chrys, the cake looks magnificent! Truly, I have never seen such a creation of edible artwork in my life! Why, it probably tastes divine with all the preparation and care the chefs must have put into it!" Chrysalis eagerly agreed with what Luna said, though concentrating more on how realistic the cake looked like rather than the taste. "I couldn't agree more, Lulu. However, the way they managed to create a life sized, realistic looking cake of Twilight Sparkle is astounding! In fact, if I say so myself, if I tried to shapeshift into Twilight, the cake would look more realistic than me!" "Really?!" "Yes, look!" With a flash of green light, Chrysalis turned into an alicorn-sized Twilight Sparkle, who, upon closer inspection, did seem a little bit off, though Celestia couldn't tell if it was from the height or because of some other detail. Chrysalis cleared her throat, and spoke in a voice that was slightly off-pitch of the original Twilight's voice. That was probably what was off. "By my exact, perfect calculations, I deem this cake to be the most tasty cake ever created by the Canterlot chefs! In theory, that is. I require some of this cake in order to prove my findings right!" Luna was on the floor at Chrysalis' attempt to sound like Twilight, apparently laughing up a storm. "T-That's perfect, Chrys! T-That'd almost be exactly what Twilight would say!" Please...Shut up... Celestia moaned inwardly, her seemingly calm and friendly demeanor very carefully hiding the fact that she was feeling conflicted between wanting to strangle the two alicorns and crying out obscenities because she couldn't eat the cake yet. The pain, it's unbearable! I need to stay strong in the fact of such a worthy adversary, but I cannot do that when my allies backstab me like so! For Celestia, life wasn't about to make it easier for her, as Chrysalis called out to her. "Hey, Tia!" Uh oh. Leaving Luna to catch her breath, Chrysalis (who was still in Twilight's form) walked up to her, and placed a hoof over Celestia's shoulders as she sat down next to her. "What about you? What do you think about the cake?" Mother, give me strength. "It's very...Nice." Celestia didn't dare go into detail about the cake, as doing so would probably make her succumb to the very desirable cake. "Yes, it's very, very...Nice." Unfortunately for her, Chrysalis continued to press on. "Nice?! It's just nice?! Tia, this thing is beyond nice! It's amazing! indescribable! I might even say perfect! How is it just 'nice' to you?" Groaning, Celestia placed a hoof next to the base of her horn, trying to relieve herself of the headache that was building up. "I've...Eaten a lot of cakes in my time, Chrys. One more isn't...Really a new thing to me, no matter how...Good it looks." Managing to catch her breath, Luna strode over to the two, and sat down on on Celestia's other side, unable to believe that her sister had more or less said that this cake was just another cake. "Tia, this cake is magnificent, you cannot deny that! It cannot simply be...'Nice'! I agree with Chrys, you are deliberately not giving the cake enough justice! I mean, just look at it!" Luna grabbed her sister, and turned her around, holding her head so that Celestia could not look away from the cake. "Now tell me it's just 'nice' now, Tia, because it's certainly not just 'nice'!" Must...Be...Strong...OKAY, THAT'S DONE IT. No regrets! No mercy! No surrender! THAT CAKE IS MINE. "You two are infuriating! I have to eat that cake, Lulu! I no longer have the patience to wait!" Launching herself forward, she dived directly at the cake and began to eat it ravenously, with a ferocity that scared even Luna and Chrysalis, the latter of which turned back into their original form for fear that Celestia might mistake her for another realistic cake. Crumbs, frosting, and much more began to fly, and inwardly, Luna and Chrysalis' heart broke when they saw the beautiful cake get ravaged by Celestia. However, their safety was far, far more important, and slowly, they inched themselves towards the grand hall doors. Unfortunately, this was the time where Twilight and company decided to enter the hall. "Hello, Princ-" Almost immediately, their sights were set upon Celestia eating away at the cake, and Twilight herself began trembling at thoughts of her mentor suddenly casting a spell on her to turn her into an edible cake. After all, she turned her parents into plants, so it was most likely foals-play to turn her faithful student into a cake. Surprisingly, it was Pinkie Pie who spoke up first; while she enjoyed cake, what she saw was just disturbing to her. "Maybe...We should leave Princess Celestia alone..." Quick to agree with her was Rarity. "Indeed..." "That would be wise." All the ponies looked up at Princess Luna, who made a discreet hoof at her sister. "We shall...Celebrate this day elsewhere. Preferably at the mini-mall down the street that sells ninety-nine cent slurpees." Chrysalis nodded, holding up some coupons. "I got a two-for-one deal for all slurpees, so let's go!" All ponies at the scene began to leave the grand hall, leaving Celestia alone, who continued to eat the cake, happy that her torment was now over. Author's Note Celestia was suffering Twilight is scared I still believe alicorns have a soft spot for slurpees This story was made due to a comment by matt567890 that I found to be an amusing idea Go ahead, throw out a suggestion here or there, I might humor you and write a story about it, though it might not end up the way you think it will unless you are very specific about what happens, in which case I think it'd be better for you to write it yourself Thankfully, I already don't remember this, Tia!Thankfully, I already don't remember this, Tia! I know I enjoy learning about things, it's just who I am! Knowledge, glorious knowledge, from everything and everypony! Sometimes they're not even ponies, but it's knowledge! Books, movies, newspapers, even that ad for plushies of me and my friends which I found to be slightly off detail of us! There is a lot of knowledge, and I love it! Which is why I'm near killing myself now by thinking this; I wish I DIDN'T know about this! Twilight Sparkle was currently with Celestia and Chrysalis in the royal library, and the topic that they were discussing was magic. While the unicorn was skeptical about having Chrysalis over, she realized that it would do no good to hold a grudge against her since she was now an official princess, and, in hindsight, she did ruin a good prank played on Cadence's wedding. So all was said and forgiven, though Twilight was still a bit wary of Chrysalis. "You're telling me that you can do that?!" The question was directed at Chrysalis, who nodded slowly. "Yes, it is a very powerful spell, but it is by no means perfect. Here, this is how it's done." Chrysalis levitated over some parchment where she began to write down the mechanics of the spell to a powerful if limited memory control spell. It was, however, not very practical, as Twilight saw from the notes that Chrysalis was jotting down. Beside Twilight, Celestia was raising a brow, concerned about what she was seeing. "Chrys, is this spell really safe for Twilight to learn? From what I can tell so far from what you've written down, it uses a lot of energy, goes off with a bang, and can cause permanent damage if not used correctly." "It's perfectly fine, Tia." Chrysalis continued to scribble her notes about the spell down, making sure to jot down even the most minor effects the spell could do; after all, spellcasting was never a perfect process, and spells were constantly wired and rewired to either put less strain on the unicorn (or alicorn), work more efficiently, or even perform a different task entirely. "It's just that this spell isn't wired to be the most efficient or safe thing around, as it was something I made up on the spot." That was horrifying to Twilight. "You used an untested spell on my brother?!" Chrysalis groaned, and set down the quill to look at the unicorn dead in the eyes. "Of course not! What do you take me for, a mad scientist?! I would never do something that would endanger a pony or changeling's life! I admit, my wording was not the best there, but I assure you it was not 'completely' made up on the spot. I simply took the idea of existing spells that dealt with memories and took only the good bits of wiring and combined them together in a logical if somewhat impractical manner. The result was a power memory control spell that made it possible to plant false memories into a pony's mind, though constant use of this spell did, as you saw, cause Shining Armor headaches. In any case, I'm done, I believe I've outlined the general spell as well as any effects you might have; I'm the only one to have cast this spell, so it might be different for you, no matter how powerful you are, Twilight." Twilight looked down at the notes Chrysalis had, and frowned as she saw the intricate yet seemingly simple framework of the spell. "This is...How did you even manage to get the spell to work within these limitations, Princess Chrysalis?" Being called princess by a pony that had learned to say her mentor's name without adding the title to it somewhat irked Chrysalis. "Please, Twilight, just Chrys will do. The reason why the spell even works with its obvious faults right now is because of the fact that I channel the spell over a long period of time; it's not meant for an immediate 'now' result like most unicorn magic is. Most changelings don't have the magic power to instantly get results like that, so we tend to use spells that work over a period of time; it's more time consuming, but we get just as good results as if we instantly made it so." "I see...Interesting." Twilight continued to study the notes for a little while longer, the beginnings of a new system creeping up inside her thought process. She levitated over a new piece of parchment and the quill that Chrysalis set down, then began to rewrite the spell. "The problem with this spell is that it is completely impractical to anypony or changeling because of the massive power required that very few unicorns or changelings would be able to output over the course of your written 'safe-zone' of every twelve hours before requiring to be cast on the subject again. Quite frankly I'm surprised that you managed to pull this off without being caught." "Well, you do have to admit, as a couple and a royal couple about to get married at that, you're able to take certain liberties and excuses, such as being able to get more cake and being allowed to leave to spend some time together. I took the latter option to recast the spell, though I agree, the 'safe-zone' I have created for this spell is not at all practical and would wear down a normal unicorn in about a week of sustained casting, and most likely less for my changelings." "Mhm, mhm..." Twilight continued to write down certain parts of the spell, skipping over some parts of it entirely, and adding new parts that Chrysalis would never have had thought of in the first place. The scritch scratch noise of the quill was all that was heard as Twilight continued to write out her version of the spell, with Chrysalis and Celestia watching her intently, both waiting to see what would be done. Eventually, Twilight finished off the newly revised spell with a flourish, and smiled. "There! I have reduced magic consumption by fifty percent, increased the potency of the memory control spell, and done away with the safe zone! It is now a spell that takes instant effect upon the subject!" Chrysalis was skeptical of this; after all, it was a very complicated spell, and as she browsed through the new spell system that Twilight had created for it, there was something off about it that Chrysalis couldn't place down. Unable to find it, she set down the parchment, and smiled. "Very good, Twilight! However, every spell is considered useless if it is not used. Come on, use it on me! We shall see what happens." "Are you sure? I mean, I did just make it just now..." "Twilight, you had my spell to base yours off on, and my spell didn't have too many negative downsides to it. Most likely all I'll get is a headache." Twilight looked over to her mentor, who nodded slowly. "She's right, Twilight, there's not much that needed changing with the spell, so the idea of hurting Chrysalis is virtually slim." "Well...Alright then." Twilight took one last look at her notes again, memorizing the spell system she created, and began gathering the magic needed to perform the spell. Sparks of magic flew from her horn and wrapped around Chrysalis' horn, orbiting it. It was about another five seconds before Twilight let go of the magic in her horn, and let fly with it. With a loud bang, Chrysalis was thrown backward and propelled through a bookshelf, causing screaming from the other patrons of the library and panicked running from the rest. After exchanging a look with each other, Twilight and Celestia ran over to Chrysalis, who was on top of a pile of books with a dazed expression on her face. Fearfully, Twilight looked up at her mentor, who was gently prodding Chrysalis. "I didn't think the spell would do that! I just don't know what went wrong, Celestia, I don't!" "Well, perhaps it's because of the fact that Chrysalis is a changeling, and as such created this spell to be specifically used for changelings. You are a unicorn, so you must have tried to rewrite the spell with unicorn wiring in mind when this spell does not use them. I suppose that's why there was such an explosive backlash." "That seems logical. I...Oh, she's waking up!" Indeed, Chrysalis was waking up, with a snort and shaking her head around. "Ow...What happened, Tia, Twilight? Why am I on top of a pile on books, and why are there ponies screaming and running around?" Celestia groaned, and began her explanation of what happened to Chrysalis, with Twilight offering little bits of information that Celestia didn't mention. When all was said, Chrysalis smiled, and got off the pile of books. "Thankfully, I already don't remember this, Tia! That's one heck of a memory loss spell Twilight put on me!" Author's Note I like thinking of spells like computer hardware or something Twilight has an oopsies Chrysalis doesn't remember any of this More of a chapter to explore what I think spellcasting goes through than humor Do I dare break the now fifty-three long combo chain of Tia!, Lulu!, Tia!, Lulu!, Tia!, etc. ? I'll blast it down, Lulu!I'll blast it down, Lulu! There were many advantages to being an alicorn; you didn't have to eat or sleep much, had the power of both wings, magic, and strength, you were often pampered, and ponies looked up to you as a rolemodel. Of course, there were also downsides that came to being an alicorn; you couldn't fit into small places, you were always expected to work, you had to deal with the fact that some ponies had an unhealthy obsession with you, and you had to listen to ponies (or changelings, in Chrysalis' case) and their problems whenever you held court, and some of those problems could be very tedious indeed. The downsides, while few, are very taxing, and Luna was quickly learning just how tiring it could be, as she kept dozing off in the middle of her work. "Princess?" With a snort, Luna looked up towards the pony who said her name, which was one of her advisors, who had come along to check up on her progress. "Yes?" Her advisor looked at her with a concerned look on his face. "Erm...Are you feeling well, Princess? You keep dozing off, and the paperwork isn't any further along than it was two hours ago." Ugh...Dumb work...Can't I get some sleep? Even though I don't require much of it, I still need some, like every other pony. It took Luna a moment to think of a reply to her advisor that wasn't incredibly rude. Fortunately, she succeeded. "I am fine, I'm just...'off my game', as some ponies would say. Do not worry about me, I'll get this done soon." Her advisor shot her an unconvinced look, but he nodded, hoping that she would keep to her word. "If you say so, Princess." He left her study, and Luna looked down upon the paperwork that should have been finished hours ago; it was a request from the Apple family, and she was to decide if she was to grant it or not. They were requesting more bits to repair a few storerooms and barns around the farm, as well as equipment for easier apple harvesting. Although Luna would have liked nothing more than to destroy the farm and feel happy knowing that there was one less apple farm in Equestria, she couldn't do that without outraged ponies wanting a 'word' with her, and her sister would kick her rump if she so much as sneezed at the farm; neither could she deny the request, because it was well-thought and did not require too much to fund and provide for. Unfortunately, she was going to have to approve the request. Grumbling to herself, Luna stamped 'approved' on the request, and added her signature on it before her head hit the table, glad that she got that out of the way. Another bright and sunny day, for ponies to enjoy! Celestia smiled at the thought of ponies enjoying her sun; it was one of those things that she never tired of thinking about. Slurping her morning cup of coffee, she began to think about something else that disturbed her slightly. However, even my bright sun cannot erase the cold dread that grips at me. I had to move Lulu's moon to make way for my sun; I'm not sure what happened, but she can't possibly be that neglectant of her duties. Something must have happened. Coffee Joe must have noticed her anxiety, for he pushed another slice of coffee cake towards her. "Somethin' botherin' you, Princess?" "Hm? Oh, thanks for the cake! Yes, something is bothering me, though I'm sure it's nothing." In his time working at the castle, he knew that 'nothing' usually meant 'something crazy is about to happen'. Still, it just might be that she was telling the actual truth this time, so he simply nodded politely. "I see. Well, I'm going to go brew some more coffee, just leave the dishes there and I'll clean up once your done." "Thank you, Coffee Joe." I'll find out what's wrong with you yet, Lulu! ...Right after this cake. "Lulu? Lulu, are you in there?" Celestia knocked on her sister's door again, feeling impatience growing within her. She had waited outside Luna's room for awhile now, and she was getting annoyed as well as worried; after all, she was her sister. She motioned for the guards standing guard to move aside, and they did so quickly. You did not want to be next to an alicorn annoyed at her sister. Once they were out of the way, Celestia growled at the door. "I'm going to count to five, and if you don't open this door, I'll blast it down, Lulu!" No response graced her, and Celestia sighed as she gathered the magic in her horn. "Five." The door shattered from the force of the magical blast it received, and Celestia walked through the carnage she dealt. "Lulu? Are you even in here? I-" Her voice trailed off as she saw her sister at her study, drooling on what Celestia hoped wasn't an extremely important paper. "Seriously? Come on, I know you're a heavy sleeper, but this is just ridiculous!" Celestia didn't want her sister to wake up with a sore neck from sleeping in that position, so she lifted her sister up onto her back, and made the journey to her bed, with much groaning along the way. "You're not just only a heavy sleeper either, Lulu." She heard a faint murmur from Luna, and she couldn't help but smile, despite the way Luna had made her worry. "I love you too, Lulu." Celestia gently set her sister down in her bed, and pulled the covers up, tucking her into bed. As an afterthought, Celestia levitated a Rainbow Dash plushie into Luna's hooves, which was grasped at instinctively. Memories of her mother doing the same (minus the plushie) for her came by, and a single tear fell down her face as she gently stroked Luna's mane. "I'll take some of the paperwork away from you, Lulu, so this doesn't happen again." Looking up towards Luna's study, she made her way over, wondering what exactly she'd find there. "Hmm...A bit of...Actually, scratch that, a LOT of drool on this, but...Looks a request for more bits and equipment from the Apple family, and it's...Approved? My, my, Lulu...I didn't think you'd do this, out of all things." Celestia let out an amused chuckle before wiping away her sister's drool from the paper. Maybe I'll leave out a fried moon pie for you. Author's Note Poor Luna Yay Apple family Luna snuggles up with Rainbow Dash Fried moon pie Happy hearth's warming eve, Tia!Happy hearth's warming eve, Tia! Hearth's warming eve; the time where ponies celebrated coming together to become what is now known as Equestria, spending time with family and friends, exchanging gifts (and kisses, if one was lucky) with each other, and enjoying the holiday spirit that seemed to be in the air. Chrysalis, however, wasn't enjoying the festivities as much as she should have been, mostly because she was fretting over the fact that she needed to send a gift to Celestia. Luna was easy; Chrysalis just bought some limited edition Hearth's warming eve holiday flavoured moonpies for her. Celestia, though, was the challenge. I'm not sure what would please Celestia...I understand that she likes cake, but she eats that every other day, so another cake wouldn't mean too much to her. She's already content with most physical needs, and I can't think of anything I could actually get her that she couldn't already get herself. Hm... Chrysalis was with Luna, and both were in the frosty castle gardens, taking a stroll through them. While it was argued that the royal gardens were the most beautiful thing in Canterlot in the summer, in the winter, it certainly didn't lose any of its grandeur by any means. Chrysalis was staring at one of the many frosted over stone statues before getting hit in the back of the head by a snowball. What th-?! Chrysalis turned her head around to pout at a grinning Luna, who had been quiet this entire time, making a snowball behind Chrysalis' back. "Ow! Lulu!" The alicorn rather maturely blew a raspberry at her. "It was only to be expected, Chrys!" Grumbling under her breath, Chrysalis straightened the scarf and beanie she was wearing, having been knocked slightly askew from the snowball. "Yeah, expected." There was a silence that stretched between the two, with Chrysalis continuing to look at the statues scattered around the garden. It was clear she was lost in thought, and Luna wanted to know what was troubling her friend. She slowly crunched through the frosty ground, ending up by Chrysalis' side with a slight frown on her face. "Is something wrong, Chrys? You're making me worry a bit." Despite the fact that Luna was probably the best absolute choice to go to for advice, Chrysalis hesitated before telling her what was on her mind. "I still need to get something for Tia, and I have no idea what that's going to be." Oh, is that it? That's nothing to worry about! Luna rolled her eyes, and punched Chrysalis on the shoulder playfully. "Well, you could always give a gift from the heart; it doesn't have to be something expensive, or even a true gift." Chrysalis punched her back, not happy with the advice she was given. "...I don't think I could do something like that, Lulu. It's different for you, you're her sister! You could give her a rabid rabbit and she'd be happy with it." Luna pressed up gently against Chrysalis' side, attempting to gain a little warmth as she was still feeling cold even through her warm winter jacket and scarf. "I actually did give her a rabid rabbit once; she said it was the thought that counts. Tia 'donated' the rabbit down to a pegasus family, if I remember correctly. I think the descendant of that rabbit is Angel Bunny, though that's another thing entirely. The point is, Chrys I don't think you should worry too much about getting a 'suitable' gift for Tia. After all, it's almost like you're family now anyway!" "Yeah, 'almost'." Chrysalis stiffened slightly as Luna pressed up against her, but didn't pull away from the sudden body contact. "I don't think I'll be able to find something with as much meaning like your wrapped up holiday themed Twilight plushie." I didn't expect that coming. Luna looked at Chrysalis in shock, slightly upset that her gift was so easily found out. "How did you know I was giving Tia a plushie?" "It's not that hard to figure out once you realize that Tia is a sucker for Twilight plushies, and the fact that the tag is sticking out." Oh... Luna groaned, and slapped a hoof to her head, immediately regretting it when she realized how cold the ground was, and the fact that she just rubbed snow on her face didn't help. "C-Cold...Ah, I knew I was forgetting something when I p-packed that up. Can we talk about this inside, Chrys, so I don't hit myself in the face with cold hooves?" Smirking at the lunar alicorn, Chrysalis nudged her towards the castle. "Alright, you silly." Immediately, Luna whined at being called silly. "I'm not a silly!" Ignoring her for the moment, Chrysalis strode into the castle, which had been decorated beautifully with ornaments hanging, candy horns being passed out, ponies running around everywhere, bringing food and friends along in preparation for the hearth's warming feast, the whole nine yards. Even with all this joyous spirit in the castle, it somewhat paled in comparison to the gardens, in Chrysalis' opinion. Still, she was glad to be inside, where it was warm, dry, and safe from snowballs. She discarded her scarf, beanie, and winter jacket onto a changeling, who then proceeded to take them to the laundry room after gathering up Luna's winter wear as well. The two alicorns wordlessly made their way to the massive hearth in the main, public dining room that was only used in feasts and holidays such as this one, and sat down in front of it, enjoying the warmth that it radiated along with a few other ponies that had were already there. A few minutes of sitting in front of the raging fire contained within passed before Luna spoke up lazily. "Chrys?" "Hm?" Luna didn't speak for awhile, busy as she was cuddling up closer to Chrysalis for more warmth. "Why not just give Tia a hug? Sometimes the simplest things are the best things to give to somepony." The simplest things, eh? A hug is one of them? "A hug, as a gift? Surely that can't be the only thing you expect me to give her." Luna looked up at the ceiling, and gave a smile as she saw a little cluster of mistletoe, just above them. "...Well, you could add a kiss under the mistletoe, under where we're sitting." "Oh, ew!" Chrysalis made a face, and would have attempted to move away from Luna if it weren't for the fact that she was so warm. Darn body heat. "I can't believe you'd actually suggest that, Lulu, much less point out the fact that we're underneath some right now." "Hey, it was worth a shot, playing matchmaker for my sister!" A new voice sounded out, disagreeing with Luna's exclamation. "You're a terrible matchmaker, Lulu." The two alicorns turned their heads around to see Celestia smiling at them, who then sat down on the other side of Chrysalis with a smile. "Hello, you two." Chrysalis turned around, and gave a nod at Celestia. "Hello Tia." Inwardly, she was scared; she still hadn't found a present for her yet! Luna hadn't really helped her, either, in trying to get a gift for her. "Tia!" Luna scrambled over to give her sister a hug, which was eagerly given back by her sister. Chrysalis watched the tender moment of sisterly bonding with a touch of jealousy. It's so simple for them...All they really need is each other. They don't need gifts, they just need each other's love...Heh, that's almost like us changelings. That was when she was surprised, once Luna untangled herself from Celestia. The white alicorn still had her hooves out, and she winked at Chrysalis. "Come on, Chrys; I know you haven't got a present for me. That's okay, though; all I need is a hug from a friend, and that's present enough." "I told you so!" Luna crowed, sporting a cheeky grin on her face. Ignoring what Luna said, Chrysalis walked over to the waiting alicorn with her hooves outstretched, and hugged Celestia, somewhat awkwardly, but it was a start. She felt a warm set of hooves wrap around her neck, and soon after, also felt a strong surge of love come from her. It tasted like friendship; warm, strong friendship, laced with cinnamon and very filling. Chrysalis pulled away slightly, only for Celestia's strong hooves to pull her back in tightly. "Happy hearth's warming eve, Chrysalis." "Happy hearth's warming eve, Tia!" Another set of hooves wrapped around her from behind, and from the smell of marshmallow, she assumed it was Luna, which was confirmed by her voice a moment later. "Group hug!" Author's Note Angel Bunny's rudeness has been passed down for generations Hearth's warming eve themed Elements of harmony, get yours today I know it's not winter anytime soon but I wanted to write something winter themed because it's so hot here I miss her, Lulu!I miss her, Lulu! It's dark. You should be sleeping. Go to bed, Tia. I...just can't, though. Tonight...Is just one of those nights, I suppose. Oh, how I miss her so; I have to ask the question that I continue asking myself once in awhile, why did you leave us? Couldn't you have stayed with us a little longer? No answer came from the starry sky above her. A sigh escaped the pony, and she stared up at the moon, wondering if there were any answers up there. Celestia was currently located in the center of the castle gardens, remembering past memories, most of which were unpleasant. Her foal-hood had a few happy memories, yes, but they felt so few and far in-between as her mother did her best to help the ponies in the newly made Equestria before leaving the reins to her daughters. It was not a very peaceful time, as tempers were blown, words said that shouldn't have been, and Equestria very nearly fell apart just a mere week after it was formed. However, with Faust's support and guidance, they managed to pull through, just barely. When that happened, she left Equestria, but also left behind her two daughters, who would eventually become the princesses of Equestria. Celestia and Luna, as per their mother's wishes, took over in caring for Equestria as best they could, both waiting for the day when their mother returned. She never had, however. It's dark. You should be sleeping. Go to bed, Tia. That's what mother would have said. She would have made sure that I was sleeping, too, with a friendly threat of replacing my cake at snack time with bananas. Oh, mother... Celestia groaned, and her ears flattened as she looked down at the ground. There was always that time of the month where she just couldn't help herself, and the emotional strain of having to run a country and the aching pain in her heart for her mother just broke her in. It's just overwhelming, mother. I'm glad that nopony knows that I do this to myself, that nopony knows abou- "Sister, are you alright?" ...The universe must hate me tonight. Celestia looked up towards the sound of her sister's voice, and saw a concerned looking Luna watching her for a moment. Without replying to her, Celestia looked back down at the ground, hoping that Luna got the hint and left her alone. She didn't. Luna sat down next to her sister, with a wing wrapped around her for comfort. It didn't help Celestia much, but she did take some comfort in the fact that her sister was there with her. It still, however, begged the question of why her sister wasn't attending to her duties. She had expected Chrysalis out of all ponies (or changelings, if she wanted to get technical about it) to find her, not her sister. "Lulu...Why are you here? Don't you have your duties to attend to?" Her sister didn't answer immediately to her question. Instead, she reached up with a hoof, wiping away at the tears on her face. I don't even remember crying... Luna continued to wipe at her sister's face diligently, with neither of them speaking. It was only once Celestia's eyes were moderately dry that Luna spoke. "My duties can wait, Tia, for you; they are of less importance than the distress my sister is going through. Tia...Are you thinking about mom?" At that, Celestia gave forced, choked laughter, and turned her head to look at her sister directly in the eyes. "...Was it really that obvious, Lulu?" "...Sometimes, Tia, when I look out from my balcony on certain nights, I see you alone in the gardens. I never bothered to check on you since it seemed like you were doing something privately, but I'm glad my curiosity got the best of me this time." Luna's hooves wrapped around her sister in a tight embrace, which was hesitantly returned by Celestia. "Not much makes you sad, and the only thing I could possibly think of that you could be sad over is mom." "I miss her, Lulu! I miss her so much!" Unable to contain herself any longer, Celestia began sobbing onto her sister's shoulder. Luna, having expected as much to happen, began to hum a lullaby that their mother always sang to them whenever they refused to go to sleep, and gently patted Celestia, trying to calm her down. Slowly, Celestia's sobs reduced in force, giving Luna a chance to speak over her crying. "I miss her too, Tia...You know what she'd say, though. She'd tell us to stop being such a big baby, to take responsibility of guiding Equestria to harmony, and remember her fondly." "I-I know...I just...Miss her...W-Why did she have to l-leave us?!" There was a pause as Luna tried to find an answer. Their mother never did leave them a reason as to why she left, so it was all up to speculation as to why she did. "I...Cannot say, Tia. I just know that mother would not want us to cry over her...She'd want us to remember her with happy memories." After a few quiet minutes, Celestia slowly pulled away from Luna, with a slight frown on her face. "I-It's not that easy, Lulu...It's not easy at all..." "We do the best we can, Tia. It's all we can do, and at least we have each other. Chrys, too, even though you obviously don't see her as anything more than a friend." "...W-What? What's that supposed to mean?" Luna smiled slightly, with a mischievous wink. "If it floats, it can ship!" There was a moment of silence as Celestia tried to comprehend what her sister just said, then sighed, rising up to her hooves slowly. "I...Don't know what you just said, Lulu, but I think I don't want to know. I should probably starting heading to bed now." Luna nodded, knowing full well her sister sometimes liked to stay up late. "Get some rest, Tia." One of Celestia's hooves began rubbing at her eyes, in an attempt to dry them. "I will. Thanks, Lulu; for helping me; I imagine I'd have stayed here the whole night, and would have been cranky in the morning." Luna rose up, patting gently at her right shoulder, which was absolutely soaked in Celestia's tears. Quite the waterworks you have, sister. "Everypony needs help. Especially a fat flank like you!" Here we go... Celestia pouted, and lightly bumped her rump against her sister (which nearly shoved Luna completely over). "You take that back, Lulu! I'm not fat!" After regaining her sense of balance, Luna blew a raspberry at her sister. "Nope! That shove just proved my point!" Unknown to the two bickering alicorns making their way back to the castle, a pair of eyes were watching them; the owner of those eyes smiled, glad to see them happy and bubbly as ever after that small moment of insecurity. "Stay strong, Tia, Lulu. You might just see me again soon enough." The words were whispered in the wind, and just as quickly, the alicorn that whispered them left Equestria, as she was called elsewhere to tend to. Author's Note At least add some backstory even though it really isn't necessary because I need a basis to go off of Luna still tries to ship Chrysalis and Celestia together in a sinking boat No Faust is not the character I mentioned earlier that would be joining Celestia, Chrysalis and Luna That's nice, Lulu!That's nice, Lulu! Chrysalis was humming to herself as she sat down on her bed. Quackum was currently with another pony, who was her designated caretaker when Chrysalis wasn't around to take care of her. While originally apprehensive of the idea of another pony taking care of her duck, she had learned to trust in this caretaker, especially after seeing who it was. In fact, that very caretaker was coming along any moment now... A faint knocking on her door caused Chrysalis to smile. Ah. She arrives here at last. Striding over to her door, Chrysalis took a small moment to compose herself before opening the door, revealing Quackum perched upon Fluttershy's head. "Hello, Fley Truths. I trust that Quackum has not been difficult for you?" In Ponyville and certain trips to Canterlot, Fluttershy was just the shy animal caretaker most ponies saw her as. However, if she was needed in a meeting (which was very often, considering she funded quite a bit of projects in rural areas and certain other plans regarding wildlife) or something else that required her presence for whatever reason, she came to Canterlot as the mysterious Fley Truths, the quiet yet fifth richest and most influential pegasus aristocrat in Equestria, who could almost never be found unless Princess Celestia herself requested her presence. However, she made quite sure that if her friends in Ponyville ever chanced upon her in Canterlot, they would have never known that it was her on a first glance. This process was a very lengthy one, but it involved dyes, a simple alteration to her voice via a very tight-lipped unicorn, changing her mane style, and clothes, to name a few of her procedures. Instead of a naked, buttery yellow pegasus with a pink mane, there was a now snow white pegasus with a flowing light yellow mane, styled in a way that simply spoke elegance yet seemed practical (while also not being similar at all to her usual hairstyle), along with a dress that wasn't too overly flashy but still with that look that would stand out just slightly in a crowd. This, in front of her, was Fley Truths, the original form of Fluttershy. "Not at all, Princess Chrysalis, Quackum behaved herself quite well, if I say so myself." Gone, too, was Fluttershy's hesitance to speak up; she now spoke firmly, with a smile, and with confidence behind her words. "She is a very great duck, so you better be taking good care of her when I'm not doing it." Quackum quacked, most likely at the compliment, and jumped off of Fley Truths' head to land on her owner's head. "Of course, Fley Truths, you have my word that Quackum is under great personal care. Now, Princess Celestia wants you to join her for a meet involving you, your projects, Ponyville, and the builders guild." Immediately, Fley Truth's smile turned upside down into a frown, and she sighed as she ran a hoof through her mane, mostly at the spot where Quackum was sitting on just a moment ago. "They're still trying to get clearance to clear the Everfree? Those ponies..." Fley Truths left Chrysalis, muttering about how selfish some ponies could be. Not halfway down the hall, she was met with Luna. "Greetings, Princess Luna." Fley Truths bowed low, and Luna returned the bow, though it was not as low as Fley Truths'. "Good day to you, Fley Truths! I trust everything is going well?" The pegasus shook her head, and pointed at Chrysalis with a hoof. "Princess Chrysalis has told me that Princess Celestia wishes me to be present for a meeting regarding the builders guild and the Everfree; they still want to clear it for some project of their that clearly conflicts with one of my projects, and I have to defend it today, it seems." A look of remorse was on Luna's face as she looked out towards the general direction of where the Everfree was. "Ah, yes, the Everfree forest would be something I would dearly miss if it was cut down. I should really take a stroll through it someday; even though it probably hasn't changed much, it would be nice to seem the old castle ruins again in my free time. Do try to convince them not to cut it down, will you? It's one of my favorite places." Fley Truths reached inside her dress to pull out a small sheet of paper, with many, many names already written upon it, all of whom had exceptional standing in Canterlot and were very powerful. She also procured a pen. "I can do better than that; if you sign here, I'll have written proof that you yourself do not want the Everfree cleared, and that might give me a little more leverage over the builder's guild that these names may not be able to provide me." "Very well." Luna levitated the offered pen up, and signed her name clearly on one of the few spaces left on the paper. Fley Truths nodded, and after she packed everything back up within the folds of her dress, she walked past Luna. Chrysalis had watched the exchange with interest, and as Luna walked towards a now curious Chrysalis, she spoke. "You actually like the Everfree, Lulu?" "Of course, Chrys! Why, it's amazing! All that wild, untamed magic in such a heavily dense forest is remarkable! You also can't forget that it's where Tia and I used to live. It's a shame ponies want to clear it." "That's nice, Lulu! Though...I have to ask, why did you chose the Everfree, out of all places to build your first castle in? It doesn't seem like the kind of place you'd want to live in, given the choices in Equestria." Chrysalis stepped aside, and Luna entered Chrysalis' room. The two alicorns wordlessly sat down across from each other, and after a short moment of silence, Luna began her explanation. "Well, the Everfree at the time wasn't as wild or filled with that much magic as it is now. Quite a few centuries ago, it was just a forest, though with a rather curious amount of magic power laced throughout the area. Why? I'm afraid even I don't know the answer to that, but the presence of magic nearby seemed to be a good place to build the castle, since this particular magic was easy to shape by our spell-casters and ourselves, which intrigued my sister and I. Heck, even earth ponies and pegasai could use the magic! We created a settlement, a small one, mind you; it was supposed to be nothing more than a small research outpost. Over time, that settlement seemed to make way for a town, a city, a fortress, and then it finally stopped at a castle, surrounded by a small legion of homes and businesses. More and more ponies were hearing wonderful things about the Everfree castle, how it was a center of trade, how safe it was, the amazing magic in the air; it was where everypony wanted to go, so, everypony did go. "Now, you're probably curious about this magic; it was in the air, faint, but rather noticeable. The magic also manifested itself in a physical form, quite unlike anything I've seen before. If you merely thought about magic, and held a hoof out, a small blob of 'magic' would appear on it. The color of this magic blob varied between the ponies that gathered it. While unicorns could more easily gather this magic, they could not gather it as much as an earth pony could, or be able to get higher 'quality' magic, which was in the air. All three races benefited from this magic because it had special properties; you could make medicine with this magic, it was easier to shape than clay, making it ideal for construction and statues, and it made for some very, very durable armor; in fact, Tia's crown is made of only the finest magic gathered there." Chrysalis wasn't expecting a history listen on the Everfree, and she gently picked up Quackum from her head, and set her on the ground, where she began looking for food. "Well, that was something I didn't know. Physical magic; that seems like something many, many ponies would be interested in, especially unicorn scientists. What do you think about the magic in the forest today?" "Sadly, I cannot be certain, what with my last visit being when I tried to bring eternal night, but from the few minutes I've been in the forest, the magic has increased exponentially. While this is a good thing, the magic located in the forest has now attracted the attention of many monsters; I doubt a pony could gather magic in the forest without predators noticing the sudden drain of magic in the area, and they would be drawn to the spot in moments. It's just as well, really; the technique has most likely been lost through history to our little ponies, and I don't think I want any aristocrats to try and make an even bigger profit then they already have on this." "Ah, I see. Hmm...Do you think we could leave and go visit the forest for a moment, to show me this magic and to give you a chance to walk around the Everfree again? We can dump our work on Tia and Moonie." "You're evil, Chrys. I'm in!" Author's Note Fluttershy babysits Quackum Chrysalis and Luna talk about the Everfree forest More backstory, yeah, because I wanted to write something about the Everfree and I couldn't think of anything humorous Chrysalis is my enemy, Tia!Chrysalis is my enemy, Tia! One downside to finally being my own alicorn is the fact that ponies think I'm the long-lost sister of Lulu and Tia. Though...Once you think about it, since I was an alternate persona created by Lulu, technically, Lulu would be my 'mother'...Oh, ew, ew, no, Faust forbid, that's disgusting! Nightmare Moon gagged at the thought, causing Celestia to turn her head around in confusion and worry. "Is something wrong, Moonie?" Don't let your mind wander again...I don't need those mental images. "N-Nothing you need to worry about, Tia. Just something that crossed my mind." I wish it hadn't. A confused Celestia studied Nightmare Moon for a moment before continuing to move onward. "...If you say so." The two alicorns continued to make their way to Twilight's former living quarters, which were to be Nightmare Moon's permanent residence within the castle. It was dark, so it was almost impossible to see the other alicorn in the night. The thought of her slinking away suddenly worried Celestia slightly, but so far, her fears were for naught. "I have to say, Moonie, I can't say I was happy to see you-" "Naturally, Tia, naturally; after all, I was Lulu's downfall and the reason why you two have been separated for a thousand years. Oh, and the reason why your room always smelled like moldy cheese after a long day of court. I don't regret that, though." Celestia wasn't expecting Nightmare Moon to interrupt her and state exactly why she didn't have a good first impression of her, so she was a bit lost before she found the words she wanted to say. "...Right. It's just so weird, seeing you here as a princess among us. I would have thought you'd have tried to take over Equestria and proclaim yourself queen instead of siding with us and sharing power between us all. Or, at least give me a hard time." "The way I figure it, Tia, as long as I get to exercise some power and don't get locked up somewhere for a thousand years, I'll be fine with it. Besides, I'd rather get the respect from ponies without making them fear me; not only would that be far better for my image, but it also feels...Nice. It's quite different, yet feels...Right. Also, don't think you're off the hook; I'm still going to give you a hard time, it'll just be a lot tamer than what I did long ago." Darn. "Well, that makes sense, I suppose. Just don't over-do it on the pranks and stuff; I get enough of that already." With a little spark of magic, Celestia opened up the door to Twilight's former room, and coughed as a wall of dust descended upon the two. "I knew I should have asked ponies to come in here and dust the place at least once a week." Nightmare Moon fanned a particularly stubborn dust bunny away from her face as she took a look around the area. "This is where I'm residing in?" "Yes; it's not much, but that's because Twilight was never one for fancy furniture and the like." "It matters not; I shall personalize this room with my own additions soon enough. Where are you and Lulu residing?" "If you go down the hallway to your left and take the steps up to the northern tower, that is where Luna resides. If you travel to the right hallway and up the southern tower, my chambers are located there. If you go downstairs one floor and past the mail district, there is a door guarded by two changelings; that is where Chrysalis lives. Now-" At the mention of Chrysalis' name, Nightmare Moon turned around to face Celestia, once peaceful (if bored looking) face now contorted into furious anger. "Chrysalis! That wretched bug resides in this castle?! Show me where she is and I'll tear her forgiveness from her body!" Celestia was not expecting the harsh words to come out from Nightmare Moon's mouth, and she held up her hooves defensively, indicating that Nightmare Moon went too far. "Whoa, whoa! Moonie, calm down! Calling ponies names and giving out threats isn't going to help you in today's world!" "I will NOT calm down, Tia, and I will call Chrysalis whatever I please, as well as whatever I intend to do to her! She has sullied my name, and I demand an apology from her!" Please, Faust, make this situation not impossible for me to resolve... With a groan, Celestia sat down on one of Twilight's study chairs, immediately regretting the decision as even more dust went up into the air from the action. "I'm so getting ponies to dust this place up...Anyway, what did Chrys do to you, Moonie, that makes you feel this way?" Two days ago, about seven hours after Nightmare Moon separated from Luna's mind Nightmare Moon hummed to herself softly as she took a stroll throughout the castle, impressed by the level of detail and the designs that went along with it. It was truly something that she could appreciate, especially the castle gardens. Now that is what every garden should aspire to be like. Nightmare Moon was currently overlooking the gardens from a window, and the sunset just made it all the more beautiful. I never did stop to smell the roses; perhaps, if I took a moment to look at the smaller things in life, I'd have saved Luna and I a thousand years in the moon. "Oh, hi!" Startled from her thoughts, Nightmare Moon turned around, scowling. Her face, however, was soon contorted with confusion, as she saw a weird bug-like alicorn approach her. That's...New. "My name is Chrysalis, but you can call me Chrys. What's your name?" What a strange looking alicorn. Must be a foreign dignitary of some far off land; I'd best not insult her in any way, if I don't want Lulu or Tia coming down hard on me. "It's Nightmare Moon, however, Lulu and Tia seem to have taken to calling me 'Moonie'..." Looking over at a suddenly apprehensive Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis nodded slowly. "Ah, I see. The nickname fits you well. Moonie, I'd stay and chat a little bit more, but the work just keeps piling up! I'm going to have to take care of it before I do anything else, so, take care of yourself, fattycakes!" WHAT?! DID SHE JUST CALL ME FAT?! Nightmare Moon watched as Chrysalis walked away, humming a little tune to herself. HOW DARE SHE?! IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FACT THAT SHE WAS A GUEST HERE IN THIS CASTLE, I'D SMITE HER ON THE SPOT! ...That, and I don't want to clean up the mess I'd make. "She called me fattycakes!" Judging by the way Nightmare Moon disdainfully spat Chrysalis' name (quite literally, in fact), she seemed to take it as a serious offense. Celestia eyed the black alicorn's body, and while she had some fat in...Certain areas, it certainly wasn't something to worry too much over. Nightmare Moon noticed this, and frowned at Celestia, expecting another comment about how fat she was. She was not expecting Celestia's response. "...What's the problem with that? Lulu calls me fat-" Nightmare Moon cut off Celestia once again with a snort. "Lulu, calling you fat, and you're okay with it?! What kind of sister are you, taking insults from your younger sibling?!" Celestia was getting annoyed with Nightmare Moon cutting her off, but she needed to endure this in order to find out why she hated Chrysalis. "I'm the kind of sibling that can tolerate what her sister says. While it annoys me, I know she's just joking-" Nightmare Moon stopped her right at 'joking', unable to comprehend the fact that Luna called her sister fat as a joke, of all things. "She calls you fat and-" "Will you stop interrupting m-" Nightmare Moon yelled over Celestia's voice. "NO I WILL NO-" "OH COME ON MOONIE, LET ME TALK!" "...Fine." An irritated Celestia began the explanation. "...I can see you have a lot to learn, like Luna does. Calling somepony fat is rude, yes, but it isn't enough to warrant the death penalty, which, may I also tell you, was ruled out for everything except the most severe cases." "What?! She insulted my beautiful body, and you expect me to let it go?!" "...Yes. besides, a little fat on a pony never hurt them...I mean, I don't want my ponies to be fat, but if I had to chose between fat ponies and starving ponies, I'd rather go with fat ponies; at least it means that there's food around for ponies to enjoy." Nightmare Moon sighed, upset over the fact that she couldn't smite Chrysalis and not get into trouble for it. "Well, darn, she would have made a nice trophy on the wall over there." "Moonie!" Author's Note Is Nightmare Moon technically Luna's daughter Nightmare Moon doesn't like Chrysalis Fattycakes Just stop, Lulu!Just stop, Lulu! I'm not sure what to think of this. On one hoof, I'm alone, with Lulu. On the other hoof, I'm alone, with Lulu. This should be pretty...Interesting, to say the least. A very apprehensive Chrysalis was in Luna's room, wondering why the lunar princess wanted to talk with her in private. She was supposed to be getting her sleep in preparation for a meeting called by Fley Truths about the changeling and pony public relations problem that had stirred up in Ponyville, at least, before Luna summoned her to her room. Why, the messenger didn't know, so it was probably something very serious indeed. Though, she couldn't fathom what, since Luna was currently smiling like she won the lottery (which was probably a very poor comparison, really; they got all the bits they ever needed in the treasury, so there wasn't really a point in getting anymore bits). Nothing was said for awhile, which made Chrysalis uncomfortable; by now, Luna should have said something, but instead, she continued to grin at her, as if expecting her to ask a question. Deep breath, Chrys. Now, ignore how creepy Lulu looks like right now and ask why you're here. "Why are you so happy, Lulu, and why did you call me over?" Luna gleefully clapped her hooves together. "I've finally figured out how to ship you two together!" Her words only had the effect of confusing Chrysalis even more than when she had first entered her room.. Huh. Ship? Together? What? Is she using 'ship' in a different context? "What are you talking about, Lulu? What's this 'ship'?" Luna gasped, holding a hoof up to her chest. "Isn't it obvious?! Why, you and Tia, of course, shipping off together in a sinking ship being shipped off to immortalize your shipping legacy as the greatest ship to have ever existed in the history of shipping! Ship, ship, ship! We need more shipping!" You aren't making any sense whatsoever and quite frankly you are also beginning to scare me with your insistence on using the word 'ship' and its other forms of said word extensively. "I still don't know what you mean by 'ship' and applying that word to me and Tia. What the heck do you mean by ship, Lulu?" "You really don't know what I'm talking about?! Well, at least I can give an example about what will happen eventually when you two get shipped together! It'll be the greatest thing ever!" Luna's horn lit up, and brought up what looked like two miniature ponies. Upon closer inspection, Chrysalis saw it was Celestia and herself, and quite well done, as well. Unfortunately, her admiration for the miniatures was ruined as Luna then brought them together, making kissing noises before giggling. "Ship! Together! You two! Forever and ever in love! Shipping off into the great unknown!" At the mentioning of the word 'love', Chrysalis recoiled as if struck, and stuck her tongue out at Luna. "Whaaaaaaat?! Why?! I don't even like Tia like that!" Snorting, Luna brought up a little scene that she saw before, which, to her, was evidence that these two were destined to be shipped together. "Oh, but you do! I've seen you back away and watch her sway her rump every time she walks seductively to a piece of cake!" You watched that scene out of context, Lulu. "That's because I don't want to get hit by her rump and get sent flying across the room! You know she could break this castle down by smashing herself against it." Luna rolled her eyes, easily dismissing that as nothing more than denial of an obvious crush. "What about the time where you two shared a cuddle in front of the hearth without me?!" You've got to be kidding me. "It was cold and she suggested the idea first, not me!" "Likely story! How about the time where you two were sharing food with each other?" "Uh...What does sharing food have to do with love?" "Oh, oh, you can't hide from this one! That plushie that Tia gave you, it was of herself! She gave you a plushie of herself!" ...Hmm. Chrysalis had no reply to that, which only seemed to encourage Luna. She began detailing how this 'shipping' would work, what the public opinion would be like, as well as pulling up graphs, charts, and so much more out of nowhere, reinforcing the fact that she was very, very serious about 'shipping' them together. It's amazing how much effort Lulu has put into all this. Luna continued to drone on and on about the importance of them being shipped, and Chrysalis made an attempt to tune her out. It worked, mostly; the subject was interesting at times, so Chrysalis couldn't tune it out entirely, to her misfortune. A lazy look at the clock nearby scared Chrysalis; the meeting was about to happen in five minutes! She had actually listened to Luna rant on about shipping for the past seven hours! For the love of... Seeing as Luna was probably going to continue on for a few more hours and possibly take weeks to explain if she didn't do something, Chrysalis decided on interrupting her harshly. "As much as I want to hear you talk about 'shipping', I have a meeting I have to go to in five minutes, so I'll just say this; seriously Lulu, I have no romantic interest in your sister!" She drives a hard bargain, I'll give her that! "What about the time you two 'accidently' bumped into each other and kissed?!" "T-That was an actual accident!" Luna noticed that Chrysalis was now red in the face, and she smiled. "You're blushing! That means you like her!" "I-I'm blushing because you keep e-embarrassing me with past memories that don't need to be brought up again! Just stop, Lulu! I-I don't need you trying to pair me up with your sister!" "It's soooooo cute though! You two would make a great couple, the greatest ship ever!" "Ugh!" Chrysalis groaned as she covered her eyes with her hooves, wanting her blush to disappear. "Do I have to repeat myself?! I don't have a crush on Tia!" The little miniatures of Chrysalis and Celestia continued to bump into one another, as Luna winked at the real Chrysalis. "You don't have to lie to me, Chrys! I know you're just trying to hide it from me! Why, just let my plan go smoothly sometime over the next few days, and I tell you, you'll be kissing Tia in no time!" "I told you I-" "Ah, ah, no need to thank me! Now run along, Chrys, Lulu has some work to do to set up the perfect date, and you must go to your meeting! The shipping must commence, and nothing will stop me!" Luna grabbed Chrysalis, and before the other alicorn knew what was happening, was promptly forced out of Luna's room. A flustered Chrysalis stared at the lunar alicorn, who winked at her before closing the door. Afterwards, Chrysalis looked over towards the two guards outside her door, and frowned. "Say nothing about this." The two guards both threw her a salute, though the guard on the right was grinning widely. "Matchmaker Luna, eh?" "I sincerely hope that she fails in her 'mission' to 'ship' me with Tia." Chrysalis walked off, wondering what Luna was planning on doing. Author's Note Luna insists on shipping Chrysalis doesn't know what to make of it Alicorn miniatures I understand that Luna seems a bit out of character, but in my defense I'll just make up the excuse of her being enthusiastic about pairing Chrysalis and Celestia together This is why we have problems, Tia!This is why we have problems, Tia! Cadence's hooves gently crushed the snow on top of the concrete path she was walking on that was inside Canterlot's public park. Accompanying her was Chrysalis, who was now clad in a newly bought black and green coloured scarf that was very fitting for her. The two had engaged in a small shopping spree with each other, especially when they went to the food court and utterly decimated the slurpee machine and a few pounds of fries. Fun times were had all around, and they were ending it with a walk through the chilly, snowy park. "Well, today was fun, Chrys!" The alicorn to her left nodded with a content smile, and adjusted her scarf slightly. "Indeed, Caddy! I haven't had this much fun in awhile, other than the time Blueblood and I prank called Tia. It makes you wonder why we hardly get any time for ourselves and each other." With a sigh, Cadence regretfully had to acknowledge the fact that their time together was almost over. "Yeah; unfortunately, we probably won't be able to spend another day like this with each other for a long, long time. It's pretty dumb, really; we have immense power that our ponies have come to respect and even fear, and yet we aren't able to really do much outside our work since there's so much of it. You'd think ponies would be a little more sensible and not dump all that work on us; we need breaks, too!" Sighing, Cadence drank in the last dregs of her slurpee before tossing it at a tree, which it bounced off of, orbited Chrysalis' head three times, attacked a flock of ravens and narrowly missed crushing a snail before it flew into a nearby garbage bin. "Ten points. Our little ponies, or, changelings, in your case, always seem to have some kind of problem that they can't fix themselves, or hoof over some kind of political thing that needs our approval. While I love them, they can also be rather...Dependent on us to set things right for them." "You're telling me; some of the things I've had to do for my changelings leave me wondering what would happen if I wasn't here to assist them in such matters." Chrysalis tossed her slurpee forward, bouncing off a very startled bird, rolling across the ground and then flying up into the air at near sonic rainboom speeds before landing squarely on Celestia's horn. "Twenty points, beat that. Hello, Tia, Moonie!" Moonie? What? Cadence looked over to see a suddenly agitated Celestia clad in a pink and white scarf pulling the unfortunately empty slurpee drink from her head, and... Oh my gosh, it really is Nightmare Moon, it's NIGHT, MARE, MOOOOOON! Nightmare Moon! Wearing a white scarf that contrasted her dark coat perfectly! Actually here! Cadence was internally screaming, and her screaming only intensified as she realized that her hooves were locked into place, rendering her unable to run. MOVE! I HAVE TO MOVE, NOW! COME ON, GET WITH THE PROGRAM, HOOVES! HASTA LA VISTA! ¡AY CARAMBA! MAMMA MIA! She looked over at Chrysalis, and to her horror, she didn't seem surprised at all to be meeting Nightmare Moon! Celestia was the first to exchange words as she removed the slurpee drink from her horn, and the pitiful gaze she shot at Chrysalis could destroy worlds. "Chrys, you do not tease me by throwing an empty slurpee on my horn! You know how much we love them!" Fortunately, Chrysalis wasn't fazed by Celestia. "That's why I did it, Tia! It was priceless, the look on your face when you suddenly got all excited for a slurpee that wasn't there!" "You little..." The two exchanged friendly (or not so friendly, depending if you saw playfully smacking each other with frying pans friendly or not) banter that was tuned out as Cadence saw Nightmare Moon level her gaze upon her. "Who might this be, Tia?" Please don't please don't please don't- "Oh, that's Cadence." Celestia dodged an incoming strike from Chrysalis, and blew a raspberry at her. "Nice aim, Chrys!" "Oh, you'll thank my aim when I'm done with you, Tia!" The 'fighting' intensified to include more kitchen appliances, including, but not limited to pots, can openers, plates, whisks, and blenders. Cadence, meanwhile, was watching Nightmare Moon slowly stride towards her, with a neutral expression on her face. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, Nightmare Moon is walking over to you...She might be merciful...Don't think about it too much... Her body threatened to betray her, but she tried so hard not to let her wits escape her. Nightmare Moon stopped in front of Cadence, hesitating. The poor alicorn in front of her was just oozing fear out, and she didn't blame her. A simple greeting might scare her off, but there wasn't much she could do, so she just tried to sound as soft as she possibly could. "Well, hello, Cadence. My name is Nightmare Moon. I'm pleased to me-" Cadence couldn't hold herself back any longer due to Nightmare Moon's close proximity to her, and promptly screamed something incoherent as she threw her hooves around a startled Nightmare Moon in an almost-crushing bear hug. This had the effect of causing Nightmare Moon to fall to the ground, taking Cadence with her, who didn't seem to mind. Nightmare Moon did, though. What in the blazes is this Cadence doing?! "What th-" A squeal for Cadence cut Nightmare Moon's words off as Cadence somehow managed to hug Nightmare Moon even harder, and she swore that she heard a bone crack from the tremendous strength of Cadence's hug. "Oh, my, gooooosh, it really is you, you are the Night, mare, Moon! You're so famous for creating the gothic scene back then, and I thank you soooooo much for it! You revolutionized the teen scene in Equestria like nopony else has done before! " Unfortunately, Nightmare Moon had absolutely no idea what Cadence was talking about, so she responded with the only thing she could say in a situation like this, which was also probably the worst thing she could say. "...What?" A sharp gasp escaped Cadence, and she immediately went into a short and frantic explanation, letting go of Nightmare Moon in the process, who was never more thankful to be able to breathe and never as scared for her body structure. "You don't know?! Since you were sent to the moon, teenagers saw your dark clothing, makeup and piercings as a way to rebel against their parents, so they dyed their coats black, wore piercings, performed rituals, and lots and lots of dark and gloomy stuff in order to annoy their parents and proclaim themselves different! Though, looking back on it now, since so many ponies were doing it, they kinda all looked the same..." Nightmare Moon slowly stepped away from Cadence as she looked over at Celestia and Chrysalis, the former of which was sighing and lowering her frying pan as she remembered Cadence's 'phase' into that. "Yeah, I remember when Cadence picked up on that goth trend...By Faust, that is not something I want to go through again; she was an absolute terror to raise." Cadence stepped up towards Celestia, with a scowl on her face. "You were just being a hater tater alligator, Tia! You wouldn't understand the importance of goth during that time, and ponies still dress up in gothic fashions today! Even I dressed up like this because you wouldn't let me express my freedom when you raised me." An exasperated looking Celestia responded to the claim of not letting Cadence express herself with a flat tone of voice. "You dressed up like that because I took away your dessert privileges away for a week." "Which means I was justified in embracing the goth culture! Oh, and, I set fire to that icky pillow cover you bought me." That was something Celestia wasn't expecting, judging by the immensely loud voice she screamed in. "YOU DID WHAT? I MADE THAT WITH MY OWN BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS! MOSTLY TEARS!" Cadence gagged, and shuddered at remembering the 'gift' she was given; a small pillow cover that was very similar to Celestia's mane, in both looks and how it felt. "That's why I didn't want it! That's such a literal gift, auntie, and that was disgusting!" "It was an expression of speech that has nothing to actually do with blood, sweat, and tears, and it most certainly was not meant to be taken literally!" "...You need to explain things better next time. This is why we have problems, Tia!" Chrysalis rolled her eyes as Celestia and Cadence continued to bicker, and nudged Nightmare Moon gently, getting her attention. "What do you want, Chrys?" "Just wanted to tell you something. You know, we can leave, if you're feeling uncomfortable. Cady likes to argue a lot and Tia is very stubborn, so they'll probably be here for a few hours before they realize that we're gone, and follow us back into the castle. It's getting cold, and I'm not going to stay out there with them along with the chance of somehow getting dragged into all of this. That happens a lot." Nightmare Moon swapped her gaze over to the two alicorns, who seemed to be strangling each other. "Shouldn't we stay nearby, though, in case they try to kill each other, like, right now? I'm pretty sure that's not safe" Chrysalis shook her head as she looked into her shopping bags for a candy bar. "Nah. They'll be fine." A doubtful Nightmare Moon began walking towards the castle, accompanied by Chrysalis. "If you say so." The two alicorns walked off, leaving behind the other two alicorns that somehow began bickering over socks and what effect they had when placed on a horn. Author's Note Chrysalis and Cadence go shopping Celestia's horn makes a nice slurpee catcher All alicorns need are scarves in order to brave the cold Nightmare Moon inspired the goth fashion Cadence likes to rhyme words Your music is rage inducing, Lulu!Your music is rage inducing, Lulu! My choices are...No. I really don't want to...No! I'm telling you...No! Stop that, I said no! No! NO! Luna groaned as she was forced to pick the option to kill a certain character in the RPG she was now playing. Of course my previous choice to steal from the bandits would cause me to have to kill the leader; he would have made an excellent pick-pocketing companion that just might slit my throat given the chance, but that is now irrelevant now because I cannot recruit him at all! Sure, I just smote him in one magic spell, but the possibilities I could have had with him! There could have been a hidden side-quest or character romance interest or...Or something else, but now I can't since this character is dead! Urgh...I'm going to need a break from this. I hate these predetermined choices in games. Luna was clacking away at the controller, accessing the save point and saving her game at an inn. She didn't want to stop playing, but after the loss of a potential comrade, she felt like she needed to take a break from all of this. Groaning, she popped a few bones as she stood up, and walked over towards her fridge. Maybe a little popsicle will help; I need something sweet right now, and I am in no mood to travel down to the kitchens for food. She opened up the top half of her fridge, and scanned for her choices in popsicle flavours. "Cherry...Orange...Lime...Mixed berry...So many choices...I think I'll just settle for a lime flavoured popsicle, I'm feeling the need for green right now anyway." Reaching into the fridge, she pulled out a popsicle with her hooves, then shut the door slowly. She peeled the wrapper off, and stuck the popsicle in her mouth, enjoying the lime flavour that exploded in her mouth. Just a few seconds after she placed the popsicle in her mouth, she saw a notification pop up on her screen. Hmm...I wonder what that could be. After sitting back down in her chair, she checked the notification, which was an invite to a video chat by her sister. A video chat? I would have expected something like this from Moonie, but alright. She pressed down on her mouse to accept the invite, but instead of just one screen with Celestia,four seperate windows opened up, with her sister, Chrysalis, Cadence, and Nightmare Moon. I was not expecting this. The first to speak was Celestia, who grinned at them all. "Hello, everypony." Over from her vantage at the Crystal Empire, Cadence waved. "Hi auntie!" Nightmare Moon merely nodded slightly at her screen, while Chrysalis smiled. "Hey!" Unfortunately, since Luna didn't want to remove the popsicle from her mouth, she merely waved at the screen. With greetings exchanged throughout all of them, Celestia cut to the chase. "I suppose you're wondering why we're all here; well, this is a rare chance where all of us don't have any work!" Celestia chimed in cheerfully, which was eagerly accompanied with enthusiastic cheering from Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis, and a grin from Cadence. Again, Luna nodded, unable to say anything with the heavenly popsicle in her mouth. All of us without work, eh? At the same time? Truly, a once in a...Never mind, we're immortal, I'm sure this'll happen a little more often...Maybe. "So...What now?" Celestia's question was left lingering in the air as each alicorn thought about what there was to be done. The simple fact that all five of them had absolutely nothing to do at the same time was an amazing feat in itself, and since they had all given up on the possibility of ever all meeting up like this, nothing had ever been planned out. While it was true that all five of them have been inside Canterlot at one point or another, there simply was too much work to allow themselves to get together, and once that work was done, more work called elsewhere. Cadence was currently a long ways away in the Crystal Empire, so that didn't help either in their current predicament. Seeing as nothing was being done, Luna switched tabs to access her playlist of music, picking out a song to listen to. As the song began playing, there were mixed reactions to the music. Nightmare Moon had an annoyed look on her face as she took off her headset. "Who's playing that? I wasn't expecting music." "I don't know about you, but I enjoy this!" Cadence grinned as she bobbed her head slowly in tune with the music. Rolling her eyes, Chrysalis saw that Luna was the only that wasn't showing a reaction to the music, and so, she tapped her camera gently, assuming she was the one who started playing the music. "Hey, Lulu, mind turning it up a little?" Luna nodded, and increased the volume up slightly, though her sister evidently was annoyed now, shooting a death-glare at her camera. "Oh, so it's you, sister, who's playing it. Turn it off, please, I can't think about what we need to do with that music blasting in my ears." A startled gasp came from Chrysalis and Cadence at Celestia's words. "C'mon, Tia, it isn't that bad!" Chrysalis urged, trying to get her to keep Luna's music going through her speakers. "Besides, I think ponies think better when there's music to help them." "Chrys, music distracts ponies from making sound decisions!" "Funny you say that; if I made a decision right now with the music in the background, wouldn't that be a 'sound' decision?" A series of groans was heard all around from Chrysalis' pun (with a mental one from Luna), though Celestia was the only one to voice it. "Your play on words is terrible and you should feel bad." Nightmare Moon coughed, bringing the attention to her. "That was quite rude, Tia." "So was trying to bring eternal night over all Equestria." An indignant Nightmare Moon scowled at her camera. "Oh, we're going there, aren't we?" Celestia leaned in forward towards her camera, shooting a death glare. "Maybe we are, Moonie!" A now worried looking Cadence spoke softly, hoping that things didn't escalate quickly. "Um...We should calm do-" "Is that a challenge, Tia?! If so, than I accept it! Come at me, sis! I'll take everything you give me and then some!" "Alright then, Moonie! Meet me in the Canterlot gardens and we'll settle this like mares!" Promptly, Celestia's screen went blank, showing that she disconnected from the video chat. Nightmare Moon laughed while the other alicorns merely watched in stunned silence at what just occurred. "Pfft, Tia gets upset easily. One of you shoul-" Nightmare Moon was yanked off from her chair, and she was now screaming incoherently as an aura of magic washed over her, yanking her from her chair and out of her camera's sight. The camera itself fell over, most likely dislodged from Nightmare Moon's sudden, violent yank from her position, and the other three alicorns could just barely see Celestia dragging Nightmare Moon away. "You accepted this challenge, and you're going to do it with me now!" The two alicorns were past the camera's range, and Nightmare Moon's screaming was soon lost in the silence that followed. Chrysalis looked guilty since she was the main cause of the argument, and Luna couldn't help but feel sorry for her. As Luna pulled the popsicle away from her mouth, she said her first few words since the beginning of all this. "Well, that escalated quickly." Her play list switched to another track, and Luna groaned at what caused all this. "I never knew my playlist of music would do something like this." Cadence nodded. "Your music is rage inducing, Lulu!" A moment of silence followed, with the three remaining alicorns not sure on what to do next, at least, until Chrysalis spoke up. "Was my pun really that bad?" Author's Note Lime popsicles are the best Video chats with the most powerful ponies on Equestria It does not go as planned Celestia and Nightmare Moon played hacky sack to determine the victor I think we broke her, Tia!I think we broke her, Tia! All work and no play makes a dull pony grey. No offense to those that have grey coats, of course, but I can certainly feel my white coat turning into a dull shade of grey with every passing day I spend inside the castle when I could be spending it outside. The snow won't be covering Canterlot soon, and I want to frolic in it just like I did when I was a tiny filly...Then again, you have to admit, it'd probably cause some newspaper to write about how playing in the snow is the next 'big thing', and then we'll have one massive snowball fight in Canterlot. Actually, now that I think about it, that wouldn't be such a bad idea... Inside a very warm castle, Celestia was looking out through a window at the snow that was in Canterlot public park. One of them, anyway. While summer was her season, and she loved it so, it just didn't compare to how everything had a 'clean' look to it in the winter. That, and the snow could be used for so many things; it was a wonder why ponies wanted to have a winter wrap up at all. "Tia?" "Hmm?" Celestia turned her gaze away from outside the window to see Chrysalis, clad in winter gear and a slight smile on her face. "Did you need something, Chrys?" "Well, I've more or less finished my work, and since I saw you out here, I figured that you're done as well. I'm about to head into the mall down the street to buy a slurpee and walk around the park for a bit before spending the rest of the day in front of the hearth. Do you want to come along? I'd like some company, and Lulu and Moonie are probably busy with their work." "Nothing's holding me back here as far as I know. Of course, Chrys, I'd love to come along, especially since you mentioned slurpees. Just let me grab a scarf and I'll be set." Watching this encounter from afar off was Luna, who gleefully rubbed her hooves together. "Oh, this is perfect! Chrys and Tia, getting a slurpee together?! I'm glad I dumped my work onto Blueblood to see this! Now, all I have to do is manipulate the events to ensure the perfect date for them!" Luna giggled as she teleported to the mall that Chrysalis mentioned that they were going to, and ignoring the startled looks and bows she was receiving, placed down five-hundred bits in front of a scared teenage colt. Excessive? Possibly, but she didn't mind; she had to make sure this worked, after all. "Two ultra large slurpees, one made with cherry, the other made with cola! They are for my sister and Princess Chrysalis, who shall be arriving here shortly. Tell them nothing; just say that these drinks are already paid for, but do not say by whom. Farewell." Just as quickly as she entered the food court, she left, via teleportation again, planning on setting things up in the park. Music needed to be in the park. The manager of the food court looked at the pile of bits on the counter, then looked over to the colt with a smile. "Well, I don't know how you managed to get Princess Luna as your first customer, nor how you managed to snag five-hundred bits for two slurpees, but what I do know is that you're getting promoted." "That was certainly generous of the pony at the register, though I find it a bit strange; our favorite slurpees, already laid out and paid for us? I thought we'd have to wait in line like everypony else, Tia." Chrysalis placed her mouth onto her straw, and began sucking in the massive ninety-two ounce heavenly cherry flavoured slurpee that threatened to give her brain freeze. "Indeed, it's strange, but certainly not unwelcome. Perhaps it's just a sign that things are going to go well tonight." "...Say, do you hear that, Tia?" "Hear wha-" Celestia trailed off slowly as she heard faint music coming from the park. "My, I didn't expect music in the park; I would have figured that these ponies would have wanted to play inside, rather than outside." Turning the hedge, the two alicorns saw famed musician Octavia Melody with her sister, Fiddlesticks Melody and friend, Vinyl Scratch. Their eyes were closed, seemingly lost in the pure musical bliss. The three were playing in a gazebo, and, strangely enough, there were no ponies surrounding the famous musicians. At least, until they showed up. Feeling a nudge to her side, Celestia looked over at Chrysalis, who made a subtle nod towards them. "Come on, this is interesting." The footsteps of the two approaching alicorns caused the three musicians to open their eyes and see who had dared to approach. Instead of stopping the music, like Celestia feared they would, they merely smiled, and continued to play their breathtaking melody; it wasn't a song that she recognized, but she didn't need to. They were not famous musicians right now; they were simply two sisters and a friend, enjoying a moment of simply playing what felt right to them. "Hey...Tia?" "Yes?" "So far, today's been strange; we've been given free slurpees, and now there's music playing in the park, without anypony else here except for us. Now that I think about it, it reminds me of those terrible romantic movies Moonie watches in her spare time where somepony sets up two other ponies together without them knowing. Or, in other words, Cadence." Now that you mention it, it does seem like...Oh, come on, Lulu, was this your doing? While I don't mind the free slurpees that were hopefully from your own bits, you really don't have to play matchmaker. However... "That seems correct. I remember a scene similar to this...And this is the scene where the fair unicorn asked the changeling for a dance." "I see. I...Wait..." "Would you like to dance, Chrys?" Celestia had to admit, Chrysalis did look rather cute when she suddenly went red in the face. "I'll take that as a yes." Before Chrysalis could protest, Celestia took hold of Chrysalis' hooves, and went into a slow dance with her. Vinyl, who was still watching the pair, gently nudge Octavia and Fiddlesticks before winking at them, and the trio went into a slightly more romantic version of what they were playing. The music did not go unnoticed by Chrysalis, who started to pull away slightly. "Tia...As much as I like you as a friend, I-" "Shh, Chrys. I have a feeling that Lulu is watching us dance right now; I'm sure that she is very pleased with what she thinks is going to her plans. I, however, have other things in mind." Chrysalis' voice quietened down, and she slowly placed herself back in Celestia's hooves. She's quite the leader in dancing. "Ah, I see. What are you going to do?" "Lead Lulu on; then, when she crows about her victory, I'll tell her that we knew all along and we're still not together, despite her efforts to do so." "That's mean. Funny, but mean." Chrysalis was suddenly twirled around by Celestia, and she couldn't help but be slightly jealous of Celestia's dancing skills. While slow dancing wasn't really a dance and more of a hugging and swaying kind of thing, she had never really gotten used to it, so she was very surprised at how well Celestia was guiding her. "This is coming from the alicorn that threw an empty slurpee at my horn." "Fair enough." The dancing continued on, though Celestia felt that the music was going to end soon. With a sudden kick, Celestia tripped a startled Chrysalis, and she caught her low to the floor, with a slight smile on her face. The things I do to prank my sister. "Shh, all part of the plan, Chrys. Now you better enjoy this because I'm only going to do this once." "What are yo-" Chrysalis' eyes widened as Celestia went in for a kiss, completely taking her by surprise. While she certainly needed to kiss a few ponies when she needed to disguise as one, she never had a kiss while undisguised. It felt...'Different' somehow. It was also especially different when she felt Celestia press deeper into the kiss willingly. I...Understand that you want this to look convincing, Tia, but this is just going a little too far! Regardless of her personal thoughts on what was happening to her, she closed her eyes, agreeing with Celestia's words; she really should enjoy this moment, if not because she actually liked getting kiss by Celestia, but because Luna was going to have one heck of a surprise coming to her. A thud startled all five of them, and they turned towards the sound of the thud, which happened to be none other than Luna. An awkward look was shared between all the ponies present before they abandoned their positions to run to Luna, and Chrysalis gently nudged her, checking for a response. "I think we broke her, Tia!" Vinyl snorted, earning her Octavia's glare. "I'll say. I know I'd gag if I saw my cousin Rarity going at it like you two were!" Celestia only then just realized that their little moment might have told these ponies a little too much that they didn't need to know, nor need to spread around. "I trust that you three will understand that we are not together? We were merely playing a prank on Lulu here." Fiddlesticks looked up at Chrysalis, then at Celestia, disappointment clear in her eyes. "Aw, shucks, y'all ain't together?" Chrysalis scrunched her face, unable to believe that they thought they were together. "No, we are certainly not together!" Octavia cleared her throat, which had the effect of getting everypony to look at her. "Well...As much as I want to dwell on the problem of Princess Luna being out 'cold' right now, I also want to get back to playing music; might as well, really, since Princess Luna pulled all of us out of my warm home just seven minutes ago." "I would be grateful, actually, if you would continue playing a little longer. Chrys, would you like to dance again? It's been quite awhile, and I won't force you into a kiss this time." A part of Chrysalis told her that she wanted nothing more to do in the park, but she also enjoyed the dancing, even if Celestia was leading the entire time. "Of course, Tia, I'd love to dance again." Author's Note Luna tries to make everything perfect It works, sort of Kissy kissy They're still not together Luna is now crying and eating moon pies topped with ice cream after she heard that her plan fail and it was a joke on her There is an amazing lack of pictures of these two shipped together Oh, back off, Lulu!Back off, Lulu! You know, out of all the things that could have happened when Nightmare Moon was freed from my mind, this was certainly not what I thought she would do with me. Who am I to complain, though?! I now have somepony to play with! Currently, Nightmare Moon and Luna were playing some Pony Knights, and it was refreshing to have another pony to play with; Celestia was more interested in shooters then dungeon crawlers, and while Cadence did happen to like playing with Luna, the distance between them often caused a problem for them, as the signal strength was weak in the crystal empire. So when Nightmare Moon expressed some interest towards gaming and certain parts of the genre, Luna immediately picked up on that and began showing Nightmare Moon the games that she played in an attempt to convert Nightmare Moon into her gaming buddy. It was going pretty well, all things considered. Luna adjusted the microphone on her headset for a moment before speaking. "Hey, Moonie, you want to go downstairs into the kitchens after this depth? I'm getting a little hungry, if that's alright." "I wouldn't mind a snack myself, Lulu. I'll accompany you down to the kitchen." Well, that was rather convenient timing on my part. "Alright then. Let's finish this royal jelly already so we can eat." Nightmare Moon's sarcastic voice sounded over. "Uh, who was the one that insisted on bringing along piercing weapons?" "Look, I didn't know the new weapons I was bringing along were piercing!" "Whatever...I have to carry you, again." After setting her headset down carefully, Luna stepped outside her room, grumbling under her breath. "I swear I didn't know they were piercing! Nice going, Lulu." Shaking her head in annoyance, she continued her path until she was at the intersection where she was going to meet Nightmare Moon. She sat down on one of the many benches, and waited for her gaming buddy. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Chrysalis walking towards her, and she nodded slightly in her direction. "Hello, Chrys." "Hello, Lulu." The alicorn sat down next to Luna, who scooted over to make room for her. "How has your day gone so far?" Luna smiled at Chrysalis. "It's going well! Moonie and I have just finished a session of Pony Knights, and now we're going to get some food from the kitchens. You?" Chrysalis sighed before rubbing the base of her horn. "Paperwork. It's always the paperwork, and most of it is...Dumb." Oh, I don't envy you. "Tell me about it. It was an absolute nightmare when Tia first showed me the massive amount of paperwork I had to complete. In an hour. The stack of papers reached the ceiling!" "That sounds about right. Oh, there's Moonie; well, I'm off, Lulu, I don't want to get slapped silly by Moonie. You two have fun with whatever you're doing!" Chrysalis waved at Luna before walking off, past Nightmare Moon. The latter shot a glare at her before turning her head around to smile at Luna. "Well, I'm here. Sorry about the delay; I was held back by a guard named Elhaym that wanted to ask me a few questions about myself." "That's fine; I was busy talking to Chrys anyway. Let's go into the kitchens!" The two eagerly made tracks to the kitchen, stopping only to apologize (briefly) to accidentally running into a now crying Celestia, who had dropped her slurpee upon Luna accidentally smashing into her like a truck when she rounded the corner. After that little incident, the two of them quickly left before Celestia began throwing a tantrum. It was in the best interests of their health, to say the least, when they heard muffled explosions in the hallway they left Celestia in. "Wow, even though slurpees are heavenly, even I don't throw a tantrum like a little filly when it spills." "It's not like Tia can't get another slurpee anyway, she needs to not whine over split slurpees!" "You got that right!" The two alicorns shared a laugh as they entered the kitchen, and Luna gave a slight nod towards the head chef. "We're just here for a light snack." The chef still paled from what Luna said; a light 'snack' usually meant something that would take two starving ponies to munch through. Fortunately, however, Luna wasn't interested in anything the chefs could make for her; she was only interested in the marshmallow goodness that were called moon pies. With that in mind, she walked over to one of the massive fridges dedicated to alicorns and their snacks. The particular fridge she was opening had her cutie mark on it, so she knew there were going to be moon pies within it. Unfortunately, when Luna opened the fridge, it was completely empty. No moon pies were in sight. Surprisingly, she didn't panic at first; she closed the fridge door as her first course of action. Then, despair ran through Luna's system, and she dropped to the floor, twitching slightly. "N-No moon pies...T-There are no m-moon pies! WHY...What did I do wrong?! There a week's supply of moon pies in there!" "Oh. I ate them all." The silence that suddenly rampaged through the kitchen created an aura of tension that a pony would later remark as 'So much tension that not even a hot knife could cut through that butter'. Luna stopped twitching on the floor to unsteadily get back up on her hooves to stare at Nightmare Moon before taking in a deep breath, which was the cue for everypony other than Nightmare Moon to cover their ears. Luna shouted a single word at Nightmare Moon, who was confused over why everypony had their ears covered. "WHAT?!" Nightmare Moon groaned as she held her hooves to her ears far too late, as they were ringing with the echo of Luna's shout. "Why are you shouting?! All I said was that I ate all the moon pies in that fridge." "Those were my moon pies, Moonie! It was my fridge, not yours! You're getting your own delivered to you sometime net week to stock with your own snacks!" "We have...Personalized fridges of food in the kitchens? I doubt that; Lulu, it doesn't have your name on it." Frantically, Luna waved a hoof at the fridge. "It has my coat colours! Cutie mark on it! What else does it need?!" Snorting, Nightmare Moon walked over to Celestia's fridge, and pulled it open, eyes widening at the contents within. "Oh, back off, Lulu! So I made a mistake; at least I know better now. Those moon pies were delicious." Slowly, Nightmare Moon pulled out a plate with a slice of plain cheesecake on it, and smiled. "Ah, yes, cheesecake...Somepony, get me a bottle of strawberry syrup and some berries!" Luna watched with barely contained, seething rage as she looked back at her fridge, devoid of moon pies. "You're getting what's coming to you,Moonie..." She muttered quietly to herself as she walked forward to Celestia's fridge, grudgingly getting some cheesecake for herself. Author's Note Celestia is number one when it comes to shooters and is accused of aimbotting in every game she plays Pony Knights = Spiral Knights, just a little game I play when I'm bored at times Poor Celestia Poor Luna Luna has competition with Nightmare Moon for Moon pies now Get shipped, Tia!Get shipped, Tia! Enough is enough. I think it's about time I confronted Lulu about this; she still insists on trying to 'ship' Chrys and I together. This is...Not something she should be doing in her free time, and I would rather not have to put on a charade for her to convince her to leave us alone about it. That, and it's getting a little annoying with her always putting mistletoe above us. Celestia very gently knocked on Luna's door, and spoke just as softly. "Sister, are you inside? I need to talk to you about something." "Wow, what a coincidence, I was about to do the very same, Tia! Come on in, it'll be easier to explain when you're inside!" I have a bad feeling about this. Actually, why is it that when somepony says that line in a book, it always comes true? Writers really need to write that line in same other fashion, it's getting a little too predictable whenever I read something now. Celestia walked into Luna's room, noticing that her sister had a smile on her face as she began shuffling some papers. The fact that her sister even had papers and was working baffled Celestia completely. I thought you didn't have any paperwork today; maybe I came in at a bad time? "Err. I was under the assumption that you didn't have any work left to do, Lulu. Should I-" "No, no, it's fine, Tia! Just sit down and we can talk; this isn't much anyway." There was an uneasy feeling in the back of Celestia's mind as she sat down across from her sister, wondering what those papers were for. "Now, Lulu, I need to talk to you abou-" Luna interrupted her sister with a chirp. "Shipping!" "...Pardon?" "Shipping, Tia!" Luna smiled as she brought out a toy boat, complete with two miniatures of Celestia and Chrysalis on it. "You two need to ship away! There's no other reason why you're here; you want to discuss the possibilities and ways on how you and Chrys can ship away, happily ever after!" Chrys told me that Lulu was a little loopy...I didn't think it would be this bad, though! "Erm...Do tell. Anyway, Lulu..." "No! You do not stop the shipping train!" "...Isn't that a boat, though?" "Details, details, just get on the boat-train thingeramajiggy!" The confusion; it hurts. I think I'm starting to understand Twilight's frustration whenever she writes about the one called Pinkie Pie. At least, I think Luna's getting as confusing as Pinkie Pie. "Now, Lulu, while I did want to talk about this 'shipping'..." "Get shipped, Tia!" Luna's eyes widened and her grin only seemed to grow larger, and Celestia groaned upon realizing that she said the wrong choice of words. "Finally, you've accepted the fact that you need to be shipped with Chrys and are willing to help me! It's been driving me crazy how you two haven't hooked up together yet!" You're crazy. I'm crazy. We're all crazy. Mostly you, though, and I will eradicate any thoughts of this 'shipping' once I'm through with you. "That's what I want to talk with you about, I-" "Good, I wanted to talk with you about that as well! I have several hundred thousand ways to ship you two together, ranging from a simple kiss under the mistletoe to skydiving to your doom together!" Luna tossed a piece of paper at her sister, which, now that Celestia saw clearly, was a plan outlining how to get the two 'shipped' while skydiving. In the...Ocean. Literally, in the ocean. With Twilight piloting a boat-train thingeramajiggy and the rest of her friends as the crew. ...Other than the fact that this plan might have actually worked, I don't think I'd feel very safe skydiving in the ocean in a boat-train thingeramajiggy piloted by Twilight and her friends. "I...No, Lulu! That's not what I want to talk with you about!" Luna huffed, and levitated the piece of paper back over to her while giving her sister another piece. "Then do you mean to talk about what you two will do after getting shipped?" "Listen, Lulu, I was thinking that-" "Why, you two would get married, of course!" I don't even... "No! Lulu, I was thinking that maybe you're doing something that neither of us want a part in! I, DON'T, WANT, TO, GET, SHIPPED." Silence reigned over the two sisters as Luna stared at her sister with wide, confused, and hurt eyes. I'm so, so sorry, Lulu...I know you wanted this to work, but it's just not happening. Neither alicorn so much do anything more as breathe until Celestia sneezed. As if a switch had been thrown, Luna smashed her head through the table, and groaned. Quickly, Celestia moved so fast to her sister's side that it was almost like she teleported to her, and gently patted her back as Luna finally accepted that she couldn't ship them together. "Shh, Lulu, I know you're upset, but that's just the truth; neither of us want to get shipped together." "I thought...I was just trying to make you happy with somepony special, Tia! You yourself said you've never had somepony special in your life, so I thought Chrys would be perfect for you!" "That's not true." Luna lifted her head up, with a surprised look was on her face, and Celestia gently placed a hoof on her sister's mouth, silencing whatever she was going to say next. "I do have a very special pony in my life. Multiple ponies, in fact. All of Equestria. You. Chrys. Caddy. Moonie, to an extent; you're all very special to me, just not in a romantic way. Who knows? Maybe I will fall in love with Chrys someday; maybe it'll be Moonie, as unlikely as that sounds. The point is, dearest Lulu, I already feel special, and no, it's not because I can sneeze and immediately get hoofed over about twenty tissues. It's not because I'm on a golden throne that hurts my rump to sit on with a straight face, and it's definitely not because of the title I hold. Or the paperwork...You get what I mean. It's because of the fact that I make a lot of ponies happy with what I do for them, and that's all I need, the love and thanks of the ponies." As Celestia removed her hoof from Luna's mouth, the lunar alicorn sniffed, and gave her sister a smile before hugging her sister tightly. "Okay, Tia...I'll stop trying to ship you two together...And you sounded like Chrys a little at the end." "That's because I am Chrys, duh." "W-What?!" Luna recoiled as if she was struck, and Celestia laughed as she bopped her sister on the nose. "Gotcha." Luna promptly broke out from the hug with her sister, and crossed her hooves in front of her chest. "Hmph...I really wish you two got together, though." "I thank you for your effort to do so, unneeded as it was, Lulu. I'll see you later." Luna watched as her sister made her farewell before walking off, leaving Luna with a table with her head imprint on it. The smile on Luna's face vanished immediately once Celestia had left the room, and she smashed her head against the table again. Actually, I didn't really care if you two suddenly got shipped together, I'm upset that I lost my bet with Caddy. Now I owe her a slurpee, and I have to watch her drink it in a transparent crystal cup... Author's Note Celestia wants to talk with her sister Boat-train thingeramajiggies exist Luna lost her bet to Cadence and will now pay the price I-I didn't say that, Lulu!I-I didn't say that, Lulu! I thought this was going to be something simple. Simple for a genius, no doubt. Why has technology advanced so much and in such a complex way while I was in the moon?! Sure, I do love the fact that there are these things called video games and the heavenly invention of slurpees, but when it comes to other things such as this, I am absolutely clueless! It doesn't help that Elhaym isn't making any sense with what she's saying about these light-bulbs either. The mentioned guard watched as Luna fumbled around with a light fixture; the one that was in Luna's room had died, and needed to be replaced. Unfortunately, Luna had refused her help and insisted on fixing the lights herself, though Elhaym was seriously doubting that Luna could even go through the manual, since it was taking her five minutes to read one page. That light-bulb didn't look like it was going to be replaced anytime soon. Clearing her throat audibly to catch Luna's attention, she tried for the tenth time to try and assist her. "Princess Luna, are you sure tha-" Her words were cut off quickly. "Quite sure, Elhaym! Now, do your job of protecting me from rabid marshmallows." I...What? Isn't that the job of the kitchen guard? I'm just a library guard, the most I have to worry about are enchanted flying books trying to bite my mane off. "Princess, with all due respect, I'm sure the kitchen guard has section five locked down tight, and I'm a section eight guard. Not only that, but I should be helping you replace the light-bulb in your room, as I am an experienced electrician, or at least was, before I became a royal guard." "Oh, please, Elhaym! I really do not require your help. After all, how many alicorns does it take to screw in a light-bulb?" ...Are you really referencing that joke, or are you actually being serious right now? "...Do you really want me to answer that, or are you just joking?" "What are you talking about? It doesn't take an alicorn to screw in a light-bulb, I see normal ponies do it all the time! It surely won't take much effort on my part." With that said, Luna stood up on a rather unsteady looking chair, holding up the accursed light-bulb she had been trying to replace all this time. At first, things seemed to be going well; Elhaym figured that she would would be the first one to see if it really did take just one alicorn to screw in a light-bulb. History was in the making! That was before Nightmare Moon showed up, curious about why Luna hadn't showed up online at all yet to play Pony Knights. She had waited an entire twenty minutes for her, and she feared that Luna had suddenly been dumped with paperwork. "Is everything okay, Lulu? "Just fine, Moonie! What're you doing he-" As Luna's attention was on greeting the newcomer to her room, she slipped off of the unstable chair and fell with an ungraceful thud on the floor. The light-bulb was in the air, and, not wanting any harm to come to the light-bulb or the princess due to shattering glass, Elhaym dived at it, just barely managing to catch it in her hooves in a perfect dive that would have won top awards in a sports competition. Nightmare Moon was immediately at Luna's side, looking over the alicorn with worry; Luna looked like she had a really nasty fall. "Are you okay, mom?!" Her hooves immediately shot to her mouth, wondering what possessed her to call Luna her mom, despite the logic behind such a sentence. Wait...Did I just call her my mom out loud? Oh. This isn't good. Well, this is certainly getting interesting. Elhaym watched the events unfold in front of her with interest as she juggled the light-bulb in her hooves. Surprisingly enough, Luna didn't react too badly to Nightmare Moon's words. "Mmm...I'm okay...I...Wait..." Luna stared at Nightmare Moon with a confused look. "Did you...Just call me mom?" Nightmare Moon looked over at Elhaym with a look that just screamed 'help'. Sighing, Elhayn nodded at NIghtmare Moon, wondering why her, of all ponies. When I signed up to be a royal guard, this wasn't in the job description. "Erm...I saved the light-bulb, Princess Luna!" Elhaym's words broke Luna's gaze off of Nightmare Moon, and she nodded slowly at her. "...Good. I suppose you're right, you can screw the light-bulb in for me." Seeing as she had no way to ignore the order Luna gave her, she nodded slowly before attending to the task that Luna ultimately failed in, while keeping an ear open towards the two alicorns in the room. "Now...Moonie, what on Equestria was that? Why did you call me 'mom'?" Luna's questioning gaze rested on a fidgeting Nightmare Moon, who was trying to think of a way to get out of this situation without explaining. Seeing that there was no way out of this situation and that she would only be delaying the inevitable, Nightmare Moon laid down next to Luna. As Luna scrambled up to sit up properly, Nightmare Moon draped a wing over Luna's back; that wasn't something Luna was expecting, but she didn't shy away from Nightmare Moon because of it. "I understand that probably makes you feel uncomfortable, Moonie, but I have to know; you don't just blurt out 'mom' randomly." Nightmare Moon nodded, and sighed. "I know. I'm sorry about that. I...I've been thinking about our relationship for awhile now, and, as much as it might startle you, I think I've come to think of you as my mother." Luna frowned slightly at what Nightmare Moon said. "Well, does that really mean I'm your mother, though? You're not a pony that has been born by...'Traditional' means, so I don't know if you can apply the word 'mother' to me." "Admittedly I was not physically born, nor have I actually had a foalhood, but that doesn't mean you're not my mother. Tia is often considered the 'mother' of Equestria because she takes care of everypony she can and tries to keep teach them about Harmony. That's not much different from what mothers have to do, and, whenever I'm with you, it certainly feels like you're my mother, even though you don't particularly teach me anything I haven't already found out about." Maybe...Maybe she's right. She technically 'sprung' from my horn, I did create her personality, as flawed as it was in some areas, and I do a lot of motherly things with her. In a surprise move that wasn't expected by anypony present, Luna began to nuzzle Nightmare Moon gently. "Well, then, if I'm your mother, that means you're going to have to listen to me, right?" Nightmare Moon pulled away from the nuzzling to blow a raspberry at Luna. "Fat chance, mother." "Aw..." Luna was going to say more, but Elhaym spoke up first. "I got it!" Elhaym grinned as she finally screwed in the light-bulb, much to Luna's anger. "That stupid light-bulb..." Author's Note How many alicorns does it take to screw in a light-bulb? The world may never know Expanding character relationships, yay Elhaym saves the day with the light-bulb T-That wasn't necessary, Tia!T-That wasn't necessary, Tia! There's nothing weirder than an alicorn. It's just the truth! You can't get any weirder than...Us. Even Discord has nothing on us. Alicorns are weird, and we do things that nopony would ever think about doing, or can't do. Still, once you think about it, you'd think the universal deity that makes our lives weird would give us alicorns a break; we're already such a huge magnet for the weird that we don't really need much more of it! A musing Luna was prowling about in the castle gardens, in an especially old clearing that she faintly remembered being in before, but couldn't remember what exactly had transpired here in the past. Accompanying her was Celestia, who was enjoying the walk around the rather sparse and unimpressive clearing they were in. Celestia had wanted to talk a walk with her, though Luna wondered why she picked here, of all places, as it wasn't the best place to take a walk in; the only thing of interest was a gazebo in the middle of the clearing, and even that looked small and unimpressive, just like the clearing surrounding it. Unable to believe that her sister would just pick this particular spot in the gardens to walk to, she decided to question her sister's motives. "Tia, why are we here, and why have you not decided to put flowers and plants in this clearing? It looks rather out of place compared to the beautiful gardens surrounding it. It's certainly not the first place I'd like to stroll through, that's for sure, and I know that you love the beautiful plants and flowers in other parts of the garden, so there's really no reason to ever come into this clearing to admire the 'view'." Her sister looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry about that, Lulu; there is a reason why I have asked for you to take a walk with me in this specific clearing. Tell me, doesn't this place bring back a memory to you, back when we were little fillies?" Luna stared flatly at her sister. "It's been a thousand years inside a cold, hard rock, Tia, you can't possibly expect me to remember everything that transpired in the past when I'm sleeping for that long. I especially can't remember anything involving an empty clearing with nothing but a gazebo around. While I admit that I have some faint remembrance of this area, I know not of the exact details of what happened here." "...So, you don't remember your first kiss?" I...Okay, that was rather sudden and weird. Not to mention slightly suspicious. "No, Tia, and, if I may be so bold, why are you asking me such a question here? It seems...Inappropriate. This also doesn't look like where I'd want to have my first kiss." "Huh; you really don't remember, then. Fair enough, you were just a little filly back then." Striding up into the gazebo, Celestia left behind a confused Luna as she took residence on a bench. "That's a shame; I thought we could have had a laugh about it, but it doesn't seem like we're going to have one." "Now you're just not making any sense whatsoever, Tia; I don't remember kissing anypony, much less as a filly! Tell me what I did, now!" Luna sat down next to her sister with a frown, wondering about what her sister was going on about. "This sounds important, and I want to know who I first kissed!" "I think it'd be far easier to show you, Lulu." Show me? What are yo- Luna's thought process was interrupted and then promptly shutdown as her sister leaned in and kissed her. Her surprise and shame in the sudden act of getting kissed by her sister was slowly drained away as she realized that she was actually enjoying the kiss! Before she could summon the courage to kiss Celestia back, her sister pulled away, leaving behind a flabbergasted Luna with a thousand yard stare. "I-I...T-That wasn't necessary, Tia! And for all I know is that I just got my second kiss, with you! I don't understand what the purpose of that was!" Glumly, Celestia pointed to herself. "Jeez, you can't connect the dots at all. I was your first kiss, Lulu." What you believe in is not real anymore. A still dazed Luna struggled to snap out of her stupor, which was only partially successful. "Y-You mean I...I...Wait..." With some intense concentration, Luna tried to remember the incident that happened so, so long ago, with success this time around. "Tiiiiiiia!" "Hmm?" A much younger version of Celestia with a pink mane was in a gazebo, drawing a picture of the sky. It was very blue, like Luna. Speaking of which, she turned around to see her little sister charging at her, with a massive smile on her face. "I love you!" Hee hee; that's sweet. In anticipation of a tackle, she spread her hooves out, ready to catch Luna in her grasp. "I love you too Lu-" With astounding strength in one so young, Luna propelled herself at Celestia, pressing her mouth against hers in what she thought was a normal way to show affection for another. Celestia, however, was not expecting such a thing, and her stance slackened as Luna tackled her to the ground, hitting the wooden gazebo floor with a thud that would have moderately injured a normal pony. Just as quickly as it happened, Luna pulled away from the kiss with a smile, giggling at the dumbstruck expression on her sister's face. "I saw two guards kissing each other, and when I asked them about it, they said it was a way to show affection to a loved one, and since I love you, I kissed you!" Present day Luna was now blushing as the scene from the past replayed in her mind, and she groaned. "I was such a silly filly back then..." "Agreed." Celestia's own cheeks were red as the two sat in silence, both mulling over what had transpired now and in the past. "...Thank you, Tia, for being my first kiss." "Don't mention it. Ever." The solar princess lightly punched Luna, and she smiled as the punch was returned. Author's Note And here's a picture Kissy kissy No I'm not shipping these two together either She's really grumpy, Lulu!She's really grumpy, Lulu! Oh! Listen to the sound, of hope that's rising up, over your old horizon! Listen to the sound, listen to the sound! Celestia was inwardly singing as she walked down the hallways in a very good mood; after all, she just had breakfast in bed, read the letter sent to her overnight by Twilight, and just had that morning energy she got from coffee! Today was looking up to be very good for her. She even did a little twirl as she traveled down to her day court. And listen to the sound of a new beginning, oh, this is where the old is ending! Listen to the sound, listen to the sou- The door in front of her shattered into many wooden pieces, causing Celestia to pause mid-twirl as she stared at the sudden destruction of what was once an oak door. That's not the sound I was expecting to hear at all, but, okay. The solar alicorn then realized that she was in an awkward position, and crashed down onto the floor due to the fact that the awkward balancing required to stop perfectly mid-twirl was something that she didn't possess at all. Ow. Slowly, the pony responsible for smashing the wooden door into wooden chips stepped out into Celestia's view, and it was none other than Nightmare Moon, who looked down at Celestia lamely before greeting her with very little energy behind it. "Urgh...Hi, Tia. The door broke." I didn't like that door anyway. You, however, look like somepony that got up on the wrong side of the bed today, and then got attacked by a bear. Might as well humor you, though! "Hi Moonie! Sleep well?" When asked that question, Nightmare Moon glared down upon Celestia with such intensity that Celestia suddenly felt like a little filly again, after having been caught trying to steal cookies from a jar. "No, and it's no thanks to your sun..." Brushing off a few pieces of wooden shrapnel that managed to accumulate on her coat, Celestia got back up onto her hooves with a uncertain smile. Moonie must not be a morning pony...I'd best tread carefully. Non-morning ponies can be...Rather rough to deal with. "Oh, come on, Moonie, everypony has to get up sometime! Besides, it's not like you have much work to do today. All you have to do is sit through three meetings and you're pretty much done for the day, so you can get some sleep after them!" "I don't think I can stay awake for one meeting, let alone three..." Nightmare Moon sluggishly began walking down the hallway, and to her dismay, Celestia began following her. "Not to sound rude, Tia, but isn't your day court about to start soon? No need to follow me around like a lost puppy." Even though you said you weren't being rude, I can't help but think you were rude. "Well." There was a pause as Celestia considered her words. "I think my time would be better spent trying to cheer you up instead of listening to ponies asking for winter wrap up to start. It's winter! It doesn't stay around forever, you know." "I assure you I have no need of getting cheered up..." Celestia bit back a sharp retort as she saw a yawning Luna approach them. Ah; maybe Lulu can help me energize Moonie! ...Or at least try and make her a little more cheerful. "Hi, Lulu!" "Mornin', Tia!" Luna gave a tired smile at her sister. "I see you roped Moonie in with you." "Yes, unfortunately. You two can catch up with each other, I think I'm going to go pass out in the kitchen." With a snort, Nightmare Moon brushed past Luna quickly, leaving the two siblings together. A bewildered Luna looked at her sister with dismay. "Why is she so grumpy? Was it something I said? Wait, was it something you said?" A now worried and slightly upset Celestia watched as Nightmare Moon stomped off. "Uh, I'm not sure myself. She's really grumpy, Lulu! I'm sure she got up on the wrong side of the bed today. She also looks like she hasn't gotten any sleep last night." Did she really...Well, darn. "I think it had to do with last night..." Curiously, Celestia switched her gaze onto her sister, sensing that she was going to get a very stupid reason about why Nightmare Moon didn't get any sleep. "Oh? What exactly happened last night?" With a groan, Luna watched as she progressed to the next level. "Oh come ON, Moonie! Even I can't continue playing! I can only go for so long before I need sleep!" A voice responded to her with whining tones. "We haven't even reached level ten yet! At least until we fight our first major storyline boss, Lulu!" Deciding that enough was enough, Luna logged off, and rubbed at her eyes. "We've been at this for awhile now, Moonie, can't it wait until next week when we're free again? I have a small stack of work to do tomorrow, and I need some sleep for it, and you also got a few meetings tomorrow. I think now is a good time to stop playing; we can always play Dungeon Defenders some other time." "Sleeping is for the weak! I can go all night if I have to!" Hmm... "Is that a challenge?" Luna cringed as Nightmare Moon's voice boomed over her headset. "YES, IT IS A CHALLENGE!" For the love of my moon, your voice sounds terrible over the mic when you yell. "...R-Right, Moonie...Then stay up all night." "I accept your challenge!" "...I might have...Challenged her to stay up all night?" That's cruel, to deny a pony their sleep over a challenge. With most of her her cheerful morning gone with Nightmare Moon's grumpiness due to Luna's challenge, Celestia could feel her day getting worse with every passing second. "Well...We should probably try and cheer her up, Lulu. I think she'll be happy to know that I'll cancel her meetings so that she can get some sleep today." "Although that sounds like something she'd be glad to hear, you can talk to her first, while I'm directly behind you; I don't want to die once she figures out that she just walked down to the kitchen for nothing, and your rump makes a nice shield for all things related to rampaging alicorns." An indignant Celestia slapped her sister before walking off towards Nightmare Moon, followed by a laughing Luna who was also massaging the area where her sister slapped her. Author's Note Celestia's fond of singing Nightmare Moon hates mornings Luna gets slapped You know it, Tia!You know it, Tia! This isn't weird at all. Nope. Na-da. Zilch. This is perfectly normal for somepony to do and I am totally not violating Tia's personal space by doing this. Mhm. Nothing is wrong at all about this. This popcorn is tasty, too. Luna was currently setting up camp outside of Celestia's bathroom, and was enjoying the singing that her sister was performing in the shower. While the idea of sitting outside your sibling's bathroom to listen to them sing in the shower might be considered strange and outright disturbing to other ponies, it wasn't her problem. It really wasn't. Her sister had such a beautiful voice that not many ponies ever got to hear, usually because thirty seconds into her singing, Celestia could practically make anypony cry with it. So, she never tried again, at least in public. Right now, though, she was singing softly in the shower, where she couldn't accidentally make everypony within hearing distance of her start crying as if thousands of onions were cut. The fact that most ponies couldn't listen to her sister sing deeply upset Luna. It is truly a curse, is it not? To have such a beautiful voice, yet being unable to let other ponies listen to such beautiful singing. I am saddened, Tia, that you cannot sing in public, for you far outclass any singer I've ever listened to; then again, in this era, ponies don't really have that much talent, as I've seen from browsing the internet. Honestly, auto-tune and terrible lyrics do not make a good singer. Compared to those ponies, I think you'd easily demolish your 'competition'. The rush of water suddenly stopped, and Luna guessed that her sister was getting out of the shower, and beginning to dry herself off. This suspicion was confirmed as no singing was heard from Celestia for awhile and the faint sounds of ruffling feathers was heard. A good five minutes passed by before Celestia's voice sounded out again. "Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are..." Smiling, Luna remembered when Faust taught her that old rhyme, long ago. Ah...That old nursery rhyme! That's one of my favorites. "Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky..." Once you think about it, it's rather ironic that she's singing this, isn't she? "When the blazing sun is gone, when the nothing shines is gone..." Celestia's voice was suddenly muffled, and Luna winced as she heard something fall down onto the floor with a crash. "Well, that's just great! Ugh, stupid wings, always getting in the way, tipping over things and making me look silly." Typical; you're so clumsy! What did you break this time, Tia? Luna got up from the large beanie she was sitting on, placed her popcorn off to the side, and reached out with a hoof towards the handle of the doorway separating her from her sister, but she pulled away slightly, unsure of how to proceed. There were too many unknowns for her to make a decision just yet. Her sister was obviously annoyed, but over what, she couldn't tell, though the tinkling of glass wasn't a good sign. Maybe she broke her mirror? As Luna thought about the potential routes she could take, Celestia rambled to herself as the sound of tinkering was heard. "This is terrible...Now where am I going to put my toothbrush?! I'm not going to find a vase like that again. Lulu would be so disappointed if she knew about this." Out of instinct, she replied to her sister. "Disappointed in what, Tia?" All too late, she clamped a hoof over her mouth. Nice going! Now Tia knows I'm here! The response was immediate, and Celestia's voice was hysterical. "L-Lulu?! W-What are you doing in my room?!" Me and my big mouth. Quickly, Luna came up with an excuse to her presence. "I-I was passing by, and heard you sing! So I sat down in front of your door and began listening in!" She need not know that I've been sitting outside her bathroom door in the mornings for the past three months. "...I see. Well, could you leave my room for a moment? I...Need to go put some clothes on, I'm...Indecent!" If Twilight Sparkle is terrible at giving out excuses, Tia, she must have learned from the best; and I know she most likely got that bad habit from you. At least try to make a good excuse! "Tia, please, you know I heard the...Whatever the thing is that you broke. Now, since I'm concerned about it, on the count of three, I'm coming in." "N-No, Lulu, don't-" "Three." Luna push the door open, and took things in very quickly. Celestia's eyes were wide with indignation of having her sister barge into her bathroom, but then anypony would have that same indignation. At her hooves, however, was a pile of what looked like to be glass, something very colourful that sparked faint recognition within Luna. She approached her sister, who groaned as she drew near. "Okay, look, before you get mad at me, promise me that when you banish me to the sun, you at least give me some cookies." No banishing for you, Tia, I'm not running Equestria with Moonie and Chrys, that would be ridiculous. Anyway, I think I know what this is...Or, rather, was. "Tia. Is this...What used to be that glass vase I gave to you on one of your birthdays? The vase that I personally went to a horrible smelling pony that smelled like sulfur to learn glass-blowing from, and has been kept safe all these years until you probably tipped it over with your wings and broke it today?" With obvious reluctance, Celestia admitted to what she did. "...Yes." "Wow. I...I don't know what to say." Unfortunately for her, Celestia took these words the wrong way, and responded by staring down at the mess on the floor with a sad look, sending Luna on an immediate guilt trip. She approached her sister, and took hold of her in a hug, being careful not to step on the broken glass. "I didn't mean it like that, Tia...It's just amazing that you would keep such an ugly piece of glassware all these years." The look on Celestia's face was priceless, and Luna couldn't help but giggle at it. "No, seriously, that thing was ugly and quite frankly I'm surprised you didn't put it out of it's misery sooner." The hug was returned by Celestia, who was now leaning on her sister (who stifled a groan from having to hold up Celestia's weight). "I-I couldn't throw it away, Lulu...Y-Yes, it was undeniably ugly and most likely would blind anypony that wasn't an alicorn, but it was made from you; that's the important thing. It also held my toothbrush, once upon a time." "Aw, that's so sweet; so sweet that it makes me want to puke." Celestia pulled away from Luna, who was glad to not support her sister's weight anymore. "The toliets over there, Lulu." "I know that; you're just really fat and heavy, so I didn't want you leaning on me and accidentally crushing me when I fall over due to being unable to support your weight." Celestia's eyes narrowed. "You're evil." With a wink, Luna walked away from her sister. "You know it, Tia!" Author's Note The way I imagine Celestia singing is the Dead Space version of Twinkle twinkle little star, which is definitely something not rated E for everyone, so I advise trying not to look for the song due to the related videos that follow it (it's practically the same thing as the original song, just sung creepier, so you're not missing much) Luna doesn't like this era's song writers and singers Celestia broke a thing I don't know either Let's defeat her, Lulu!Let's defeat her, Lulu! "Ah, a sanctuary! We should set up camp here; I doubt we'll find another sanctuary anytime soon." With murmurs of agreement, the six adventurers sat down, and began making preparations to their temporary camp at a sanctuary, a large, holy stone that somehow ended up in these dungeons. Nopony knew what these sanctuaries were doing here, nor where they came from, but ponies, griffons, changelings and all other manner of intelligent life all agreed that these sanctuaries were a dungeon delver's best friend, as they repelled monsters far, far away, ensuring a safe camp for those lucky enough to find one. One of the adventurers, a white unicorn with a pink mane, sat down next to a purple unicorn, and pulled out a journal, where she had been recording what happened in the dungeons thus far. Thankfully, she had extra pencils in the event that one broke, and many more would break before this expedition would be over. It is now day twelve of our expedition into these dungeons, filled with all sorts of dangerous monsters and traps. So far we have only found some minor treasure, nothing to boast about; some coins, enchanted jewelry, slightly magical weapons, the items that any adventurer could find in the lower levels. We still have quite a bit of supplies, so our trek will continue onward, which is good, as right now we are just breaking even, assuming members of our party don't decide to keep a few trinkets for themselves. Our party is still alive and well, thankfully, though we have had a few close calls. Sir Armour very nearly got his head decapitated, and Lady Caddy almost took an acid bath. Mage Twilight almost got touched by death when an arrow nearly hit its mark, and Chrys narrowly avoided getting impaled on a spike, had she not realized she was walking on a trap. Lulu and I are lucky to not have had too much trouble, which is quite strange; being a warrior, one would think that I would be placed into the most dangerous situations of all present, and with Lulu being a thief, well...Disarming traps sometimes doesn't go all too well, and some monsters...Aren't easy to sneak behind. As to our current moods? Well, Chrys has been complaining about her dwindling arrow supply, but there is not much we can do about that; we can only hope that she has enough arrows to last her for this entire trip, or perhaps find some arrows, somehow. Lulu is cheerful, though I know that she is troubled by our lack of progress regarding treasure. Caddy has been a brave, kind soul, wonderful in helping Sir Armour and I, and I have no doubt that she'll be a fine knight one day. Twilight is...Tense, but I'm sure that she'll be fine. As for me? Well, I'm doing fairly well, though something tells me that we're about to be in for something over our heads. I can't put my hoof on what that might be, though. Regardless, the smell of charred corn (Shining Armour really can't cook) distracts me from writing any further, so I shall break now and resume writing later...If there is a later to write about. Tia With her log finished, Tia looked over at her party, and couldn't help but grin as Sir Armour was ridiculed by his squire. "Once you're done sassing Sir Armour, Caddy, pass me a skewer and some corn." Upon her perch within the dungeon's treasure vault, a pitch dark alicorn, one of the most feared monsters of all Equestria, watched a group of adventurers feasting on some roasted corn. Snorting, she gently stroked the head of the dragon beside her. "Those fools are enjoying some corn at a sanctuary, unaware that they are running into death itself; you'd think the few adventurers I let out alive would be smart enough to scream about how evil and dangerous my dungeon is, but instead they relay tales of treasures and monsters within." The dragon beside her rolled his eyes, and picked up a gem, admiring its quality before chomping down on it. "Do you plan on letting one of these adventurers go, mistress?" "No. Prepare to incinerate them tomorrow." After a rather refreshing sleep, the group of adventurers set off on their quest. Surprisingly enough, the hallway they were travelling along seemed to grow even wider, and yet it was completely devoid of monsters. Sir Armour warily looked around him, then stopped in his tracks. "Stop." The word was said like a command, and all present obeyed it, tensing up. Indeed, there was something...'Off' about this area, though Tia could not place the words to it. "Is there something wrong, Sir Armour?" Caddy asked, and held her short sword at the ready. Sir Armour looked at his squire, and nodded. "Yes, it feels like we're walking into-" "A trap." The party of adventurers looked around to see a black alicorn walking towards them. "I'm sorry, but I've heard that line far too many times and I don't want to hear it again." The purple unicorn of the group, named Twilight, pointed at Nightmare Moon. "An alicorn! We shall do the world much good once we have rid you from this evil you have created! Prepare to die!" The alicorn whistled, and then smirked as the party suddenly felt the ground quake underneath their hooves. "You're the ones who are dying, not I." At the mentioning of the word 'dying', all the adventurers shot each other worried looks before assembling their weapons and wondering what this alicorn had up her sleeve. Tia stood a little bit in front of everyone along with Sir Armour, while Lulu stood a little bit away from the group, ready to try and engage in any trickery to ensure their survival. Chrys, too, was a small distance away, notching an arrow onto her bow and ready to release it between Nightmare Moon's eyes at the first chance she could get. Twilight mentally ran through a series of spells that she could use, either to engage this threat or to help heal a fallen member of their party, should it come to that, while Caddy stood next to Twilight, ready to defend her at any cost. They were ready. What they were not ready for, though, was the thunderous roar that shook the hallway more than the quaking ever did, and soon, a monsterous dragon came into view. With a quivering voice, Tia yelled out a battlecry, and the adventurers began their epic fight. "...And tha's why I dun liek berries no more." A mare with an eyepatch and a few scars on her face sighed as she fumbled around for the keys to the kitchen. Beside her, another mare whistled softly, amazed what she just heard. "Wow. I mean, I know something bad happened to you, but I didn't realize it was hilariously bad." The mare smacked her companion's gigantic white chef hat onto the floor, grumbling. "Ya, laugh it up, t'is funny, but ah hope ya dun repeat mah mistakes, ya hear?" The mare paused as she heard yelling in the kitchens. "Why is de door locked when I kin hear screamin'? Ya think its guards n' som' wild marshies agin?" Shrugging, the mare dusted her hat and placed it back on her head. "I don't know, but we're probably going to find out anyway and have to deal with it." "True 'nuff." The scarred mare finally found the correct key, inserted it into the slot, and turned it. Despite the fact that they lived in threat of monster marshmallows and mutated tomatoes, nothing compared to what they saw now. Nightmare Moon and and a little dragon were lying down on the ground with pie covering their forms, playing dead, while Celestia, Cadence, Shining Armour, Twilight, Luna and Chrysalis were a little ways off. Celestia, Cadence, and Shining Armour were clad in cardboard box armor, a wooden toy sword (or wooden halberd, in Celestia's case), and had some form of kitchen pot perched on their heads for helmets. Twilight, Luna, and Chrysalis were in simple white cloth that suspiciously looked like the table cloth that went on top of the table in the grand dining room, and they held a wooden staff, a wooden dagger, and a bow with plungers for arrows, respectively. "We got the treasure! Yay!" Celestia giggled, and was joined by Luna and Twilight, while Cadence and Shining Armor shared a 'victory kiss' between them. Only Chrysalis noticed the two mares standing in shock at the mess that was made in the kitchen; pie was everywhere, on the ceiling, on the floor, suspended in midair by some unseen force. She gently nudged Celestia, and gave a slight nod towards the two mares, both of which were wallowing in despair at the cleaning they'd be doing. Clearing her throat, Celestia spoke softly, with a meek tone. "I-I can explain..." Author's Note Requested by Sage Probo Twilight and Spike say hi Remember that pirate mare from 'I don't even know, Tia!' ? Stop laughing, Tia!Stop laughing, Tia! "...And so, Quackum here then proceeded to eat the rest of her sandwich while epic sax music was playing in the background." "Quack." With a smile, Chrysalis gently nudged the duck on her head. "That's right, Quackum! Though, I really wish you had more of a reason to assault a guard; after all, they're paid and trained to protect us from evil threats so that we don't have to fight them ourselves!" "...Do I even want to know what became of the guard?" Celestia questioned, realizing that she now knew the reason of why a few guards have asked for restraining orders on Quackum, specifically the guards near the kitchen. "...You really don't, Tia. Let's just say that another bed is being occupied in the hospital, with doctors saying the guard may have a fear of ducks for the rest of his life." With a sudden splutter, Cadence snorted her Parasprite through her nose, and quickly excused herself. "S-Sorry...O-Ow..." Wincing, Celestia tried not to think about the guard and Cadence as she speared some lettuce onto her fork. The three of them were sitting in a cafe in Canterlot, enjoying the view that their current vantage point offered them. While it wasn't as grand as one of the many balconies that gave the viewer a lovely view of the castle gardens, their current view wasn't any less grand. After all, to have such a great, private view over Canterlot's main square was very hard to get, and this cafe worked hard to keep its place here, as the faint rustling of other diners reached up to the three alicorns currently dining in the room. Or two, since Cadence left the room to tend to her 'injuries'. Wanting to break the silence, Chrysalis tried to strike a conversation with the remaining alicorn in the room. "Anyway, Tia, how are we going to meet with the crystal ponies and their request for some extra supplies? They're asking a fair lot from us." Celestia didn't answer her immediately as she speared another leaf of lettuce, observing it before setting her fork down with a sigh. "I don't know; and that's the problem. I want to help Cadence, Shining Armor and their ponies, but I also cannot anger our farmers and business owners by asking them to make excess supplies for the crystal ponies; they would lose far too much profit, and that's something I certainly wouldn't want to do that. We've also sent them quite a large amount of supplies so far, so there's bound to be ponies crying out that I am helping 'too much'. There's just no possible way to please both groups at the same time." Quackum jumped off of Chrysalis' head, and proceeded to waddle around on the table, though she had the sense not to walk on the food. Chrysalis shot Quackum a stern glare before addressing Celestia. "Well, why not have the crystal ponies pay for the supplies? I understand their economy is very unstable, but I'm sure they could cough up something. I mean, crystal ponies, living in the crystal empire, that sounds like a lot of crystals." "The problem with that is the fact that crystals are of low monetary value since there's such an excess amount of them in the Crystal empire. There's also not much demand for crystals anyway, so they are worth virtually nothing." "So much for that." At the end of Chrysalis' words, hoof steps were heard, drawing near them. The voice belonging to those hooves called out, sounding very embarrassed. "S-Sorry, auntie Tia, Chrys." "It's quite alright, Caddy, I understand that must have been...'Painful'." Celestia looked up to see a red faced Cadence, who sat back down on her seat, pushing her plate away. "I'm...Not hungry anymore. So, auntie Tia...What are you going to do about our current situation?" There's nothing much I can do. Unless... The beginnings of a plan formed in Celestia's mind, and she quickly went through the pros and cons of such an idea. "Hmm..." On one hoof, I gain virtually nothing from this and my ponies get angry at me, as well as losing a little political support. On the other, certain farms and factories such as Applejack's farm and Fancy Pants' assets are still willing to donate to the crystal empire, so it won't be too much of a strain for the big, multi-bit companies that have supplied the most. I also get a laugh out of this, which is worth a lot. "Oh, look, Tia is actually thinking for once." The jab came from Chrysalis, who was trying to get Quackum off the ceiling with a plunger. "Shut up, Chrys. Caddy, I was thinking...I may be able to pull a few more strings and send you the supplies that your ponies need, though, of course, there is something I must ask of you first." With a sigh, Cadence rubbed the base of her horn. I hate playing these political games with my auntie...She's so much better at them than I am. She also asks for things that are just slightly pushing it, but I have no choice. "Very well, for my ponies. Within reason, of course." "This will perfectly be within your abilities, Caddy, I assure you. I simply want you to deeply kiss Shining Armor." The look on disbelief was something that Celestia would forever treasure. "Uh, okay? I mean, he is my husband, auntie..." Here comes the punchline. "Ah, yes, that's true! However, I didn't say 'I want you to deeply kiss your husband Shining Armor." What is she...Wait... Cadence's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You aren't possibly implying that..." With a look over towards Chrysalis, Celestia began snickering. "Oh yes, I'm implying that." "Wait, what?" Chrysalis had just taken Quackum off of the ceiling, and only heard the end of what the two alicorns were talking about. "Did I miss something important?" "You did." Celestia smirked at Cadence, enjoying the look of indecision on her face. "Your move, niece; after all, they really do need those supplies, and you're getting them virtually free!." You have got to be kidding me. Cadence watched Celestia's smug grin, then looked over to Chrysalis' questioning gaze before sighing explosively. To heck with it! It's just one kiss, and I'm sure we'll all soon forget about this incident. I hope. "Chrysalis, can you do me a favor?" Chrysalis waved a hoof in Cadence's general direction. "Sure, Caddy. What do you want?" My husband had better not hear about this; he'll go nuts! "Could you please stand up and change into the form of my husband, Shining Armor, for a few moments, Chrys?" What an odd request. Still...I see no harm in it. Slowly, Chrysalis stood up from her chair, and focused some magic through her horn. With a dim flash of light, Chrysalis changed into Shining Armor, though, to the surprise of the other two alicorns, didn't turn into his correct gender. The result was a mare that very similarly looked like Shining Armor, who grinned sheepishly at them. "Changing into a stallion requires a lot more effort on my part, and takes far more time for something that I'm sure would be wasted. Just pretend I'm a stallion." "Well...This just got a little more interesting." Ignoring the glare of death Cadence shot at her, Celestia grabbed some popcorn and waited for Cadence to make her move. Chrysalis was more interested in the popcorn than what Cadence wanted. "Where'd you get the popcorn, Tia?" With a shrug, Celestia mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn. "I don't know." "Why do you eat something if you don't know where it came fro-" Chrysalis, now looking like a female version of Shining Armor, was suddenly swept off of her hooves by Cadence into a deep kiss that immediately sent Celestia into a world of laughter (and pain) as she fell off her chair, laughing hysterically at the scene playing out in front of her. T-This is so perfect, C-Chrys didn't see it coming a-at all! Cadence held the kiss for another ten seconds before dropping a red-faced Chrysalis on the floor (who fell with a very heavy thud), and glaring with distaste at Celestia. "Stop laughing, Tia! I-It wasn't that funny!" "Y-You should see the looks on both your faces, ahaha! T-This is priceless!" "Hmph..." At least I get my supplies; I'd go crazy if I had to hear one more crystal pony complaining that they didn't have macaroni and cheese for dinner. Author's Note Quackum has been hit by restraining orders It's painful to snort soda through your nose No I'm not shipping these two together either I need to stop with the pseudo shipping I don't think this was as funny as my previous attempts at making fun of shipping I hope you enjoy it, Lulu!I hope you enjoy it, Lulu! I can't believe I'm actually about to do something like this. I really wish Moonie could find some other way of entertaining herself that won't end up with us getting chased by a baseball-bat-wielding Lulu. "...Okay, just to make sure I heard you right and just need to get my ears checked, what did you just say?" A bored looking Nightmare Moon rolled her eyes. "You heard me the first time, Chrys, but I'll humor you. I said, I dare you to put hot sauce in this milkshake I confiscated from a few servants. It's not that hard! We could just blame it on the servants and can pretend that we thought it was cherry syrup." The two alicorns were located just outside of Luna's bedroom, and were in the midst of performing a prank on Luna. A very simple prank, but one that promised to have very good results all the same. However, the nature of the prank was what was concerning Chrysalis. Chrysalis looked at the hot sauce bottle in her hooves, then at the milkshake. It was a mint vanilla milkshake, topped with a cherry and a rather large straw, which was a poor fit for the massive cup the milkshake was in. "You want me to put an entire bottle's worth of hot sauce into this milkshake? Why not just drink this milkshake meant for Lulu?" Nightmare Moon shrugged. "I'm not feeling particularly thirsty right now, and besides, even I couldn't down this massive milkshake by myself; I don't know where Lulu puts it all. Or Tia, for that matter. There's also the chance that mother might just order another milkshake anyway, so the effort in drinking her milkshake would just be wasted and give me a stomach ache." ...Huh, she actually thought this prank out, somewhat. I have to give her credit for that. With a nod, Chrysalis broke the seal that prevented her from opening up the bottle of hot sauce. "Fine, but I'm blaming you if she realizes that we pranked her." "Fair enough, I'll take the blame if things go bad. Now, put the hot sauce in!" I can tell I'm going to regret this course of action soon enough, like I have with the rest of these pranks. With a pop, Chrysalis opened up the bottle of hot sauce, and poured it all over on top of the milkshake, and to a pony's eyes, they really would have thought that it was a cherry syrup topping. Chrysalis watched as the hot sauce continued to flow down onto the milkshake, covering it with its fiery red sauce. Soon, with a wheezing noise coming from the bottle, both alicorns knew that the bottle of hot sauce was finally emptied onto the milkshake. "Alright; let's go!" With slow movements, Nightmare Moon moved up towards Luna's bedroom, not wanting to spill the milkshake on the floor. Chrysalis followed up from behind, hoping that Nightmare Moon would take the brunt of the force Luna was sure to unleash upon them. After all, they were playing a prank on Luna, who had let slip that she couldn't handle her hot sauce last night. Apparently, Nightmare Moon was going to make a prank out of it. As Nightmare Moon reached Luna's door, she began to knock upon it. One knock. Two knocks. Luna's voice was heard before Nightmare Moon tried again for a triple knock and completing the combo. "Yes, who is that?" Even though the door was closed, Nightmare Moon smiled innocently, knowing that first impressions were the first thing in a successful prank. "It's me, mother, with Chrys! We got a milkshake with cherry syrup topping for you! I hope you enjoy it, Lulu!" In an instant, the door opened, and Luna grinned widely, welcoming them in. "Great! I've been dying for something sweet to drink; it's about time I got it, and delivered by you, no less!" She levitated the milkshake off from the giant serving tray that was balanced on Nightmare Moon's back, and set it down next to her desk. "I didn't ask for the cherry syrup, though. Did you put it on, Moonie?" Chrysalis could only watch in horror as Nightmare Moon shook her head. "No! It was Chrys! I suggested it, though!" Traitor. You said you'd take the blame! Unfortunately, Chrysalis could only wince as Luna hugged her, knowing that things were only going to get worse for her. "Well, that's very sweet of you, the both of you! I can't wait to drink this milkshake! Literally!" With gusto, Luna grabbed the straw that was embedded in the milkshake, and promptly went to work on demolishing the massive milkshake at a speed that impressed the other two alicorns present. What amazed Chrysalis the most, however, was the fact that Luna was showing absolutely no reaction to the hot sauce at all. She didn't even stop chugging the thing! Gently, she nudged Nightmare Moon. "Is this supposed to happen?" With a shrug, Nightmare Moon frowned. "I'm not too sure myself. I'm wondering if I grabbed really weak hot sauce." Well, this was one dumb prank. Can I even give it the dignity of being called a prank anymore? A sudden noise made Chrysalis switch her gaze to Luna, who happily let go of her poor, abused straw, which had just taken an entire milkshake in roughly thirty seconds. Suddenly, Luna turned around to look at them a questioning gaze. "Ah, that milkshake has been demolished without me getting brain freeze! It also tasted like hot sauce, and not cherry syrup. Mind explaining this to me?" Seeing that there was no point to it all anymore, Chrysalis groaned as she began to explain what happened. "It wasn't cherry syrup; Moonie here made me pour hot sauce over your milkshake since she wanted to prank you after hearing that you couldn't handle your hot sauce last night." That seemed to satisfy Luna, and she poked at the straw in the empty milkshake container. "Ah, I see; that makes sense, I was wondering why it tasted slightly salty and not sweet." At that, Nightmare Moon began shrieking at Luna. "S-Salty?! It just tasted salty to you?! I thought you said you couldn't hold your hot sauce!" A perplexed Luna tilted her head slightly, wondering why she was getting shouted at. "I'm telling the truth, I really can't hold my hot sauce! Compared to Tia, anyway. She always beat me in hot sauce drinking competitions! I can only hold about a barrel of hot sauce while she can drink oceans of it!" Chrysalis rubbed the base of her horn, trying to get rid of the headache that was beginning to hurt. "Nice going, Moonie..." Author's Note Based on a true story that happened to me Hot sauce really does look like cherry syrup topping to me Celestia pours three bottles worth of hot sauce on her food daily You're a cheater, Tia!You're a cheater, Tia! Of all possible games I get to pick for game night, it has to be this one; friendships will be tested, wars will be fought, and romance...Eh, who cares about the romance? I just want to win! ...And so do three other alicorns, fighting for the prize...This is going to be historical! We shall begin with the gaming! Currently, Celestia, Luna, Chrysalis, and Nightmare Moon were gathered inside of Luna's room, to begin playing what could be considered the polar opposite of the Elements of Harmony, as this was known to break friend-ships faster than Quackum could quack; it was none other than Pony Party. All four alicorns were sitting in a massive couch that could seat all for of them (and could double as a bed when needed), along with the snacks placed on a table that were, of course, absolutely necessary for something like Pony Party. Many were fooled by its simple gameplay and promises of a good, fun time with friends, and unfortunately, those that fell for such a trap often ended up arguing and getting into fights, sometimes escalating into so much more. Pony Party was even put on trial for unintentionally being a rather destructive game to the relationships of other ponies, though the trial failed. Regardless, the game had an infamous reputation, so of course Luna was drawn towards purchasing it; after all, a controversial game like this was legendary! Now, Luna was eagerly anticipating the kind of fun they'd have in playing the game; after all, despite the fact that the game provoked uncontrollable rage in ponies, they were alicorns! They were above pitiful arguments over a game! She was especially happy by the fact that earlier, she had sabotaged Celestia's controller, so there was a chance for even more hilarious things to happen tonight! Her poor sister wouldn't know what would hit her. "Right, everypony ready?" A set of three nods answered Luna's question. "Alright then, pick your ponies, and let's go!" Luna called out, and flicked her controller upwards to chose a pony in red clothing. "Ahem; some of us here are changelings." Chrysalis playfully poked at Luna while picking another pony that was similar to Luna's pony, but dressed in yellow instead. "I don't think she particularly cares, Chrys." Nightmare Moon chose a pony that was in a pink dress, and smiled. "Neither do I, for that matter." "Oh, shush, you two. Lulu, is there a reason why my controller isn't working?" Celestia tried to operate her controller, but to no avail, as the character selection screen timer timed out, and she was automatically given a pony in green clothing. With a straight face, Luna cast a frown at the controller she sabotaged. "I'm not sure, Tia. Try and figure out what's wrong with it, quickly, before you get into a mini-game. I know none of my controllers are broken." Unfortunately, a few minutes into the game, Celestia still didn't know what was wrong with the controller, and she was up against Chrysalis, in a mini-game that tasked her to avoid rocks in space. It wouldn't have been a problem, if her controller actually worked. "This is going to be an easy win." Chrysalis crowed, popping a few chips into her mouth as she eagerly awaited for the game to start. Celestia groaned as she watched the mini-game start, without her participating in it. "Well, that's just not fair!" As the mini-game played out, to every alicorn's surprise, Celestia actually won, much to Chrysalis' embarrassment. Luna herself was seething inside; her sister had won by doing nothing! That was not supposed to happen! "You're a cheater, Tia! There's no way you could have won against Chrys by doing nothing!" Shrugging, Celestia began drinking her slurpee, just as surprised as the other alicorns. "I know I'm not cheating, because my controller still isn't working!" The game continued on with the next mini-game, and Celestia picked up her controller again, trying to make her character move to avoid getting hit by giant spiked balls thrown by an oversized turtle. "Are you sure nothing's wrong with this controller, Lulu?" "Quite sure! Unless you suddenly broke it somehow, Tia! I...I-I..." With wide eyes and an open mouth, Luna trailed off her sentence as her sister won once again, by doing nothing. I...This is just luck! Tia will lose eventually! Yeah, eventually. Unfortunately for Luna, her plan backfired with every mini-game that followed, with Celestia winning simply by doing nothing. No matter what, Celestia won, and the fact that Celestia had just given up on trying to make her controller work and was instead watching them lose was just the ultimate insult to Luna. This was frustrating to the other alicorns, though none of them noticed the tension that was gathering inside Luna's room as a result of Luna's sabotage. "And she won. Again. Without doing anything." Chrysalis sighed, and set her controller down. "Now I've seen everything." "You sure this game isn't rigged? It looks like it." Nightmare Moon scowled as she got up from the sofa. "Moment, I'm grabbing more chips." "I want some more poptarts." Chrysalis got off the sofa as well to replenish her supply of poptarts over by the dwindling snack table. I can't help but think that all of this was my fault now. Glumly, Luna looked over at Celestia, who was innocently eating some noodles. "Tia, how can you possibly win nearly every game by doing absolutely nothing?" "I don't know. Maybe you could tell me why you sabotaged my controller in an attempt to play a joke on me that horribly backfired on you." Celestia's words were just loud enough to reach Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon, who dropped their snacks onto the floor, staring at Luna with mixed confusion and anger. With the cat out of the bag, Luna knew that her life was quickly on the line. "S-Sabotage? Don't be s-silly, Tia, I would neve-" "I saw you tampering with a battery pack when I looked out my balcony from my room last night, and I assume that battery pack is in my controller, Lulu." Celestia then bit into a cookie before frowning slightly. "Oh, I think Moonie and Chrys want a word with you." Well, that's the end of me. Luna watched as Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon advanced on her, both with angry expressions on their faces. I lived a good life. Author's Note Mario Party tests friendship like no other Except maybe Twister Celestia wins by doing nothing Based off of 'Luigi wins by doing absolutely nothing' This chapter also feels a lot different, probably because there's no real joke to be found No, wait, stop, Lulu!No, wait, stop, Lulu! Ah, sports! It's been awhile since I've done anything with my sister and a few friends, so this should be interesting... Currently, one of the castle's gyms was being used to host a dodge-ball game for two teams. On one side of the gym, Team Tia was assembled, consisting of Celestia, Elhaym, Twilight Sparkle, Chrysalis, Applejack and Fluttershy, of Team Cheesecake. On the other side of the gym, Team Lulu was quietly discussing tactics, and they consisted of Luna, Nightmare Moon, Rainbow Dash, Spitfire (who Rainbow Dash was practically drooling over), Cadence, and Shining Armour, of Team Moonpie. Both teams were on separate sides of the gym, and the bleachers were packed, full of guards and other staff members of the castle who were on break, eager for the carnage to begin. After all, it's not everyday you see some of the most powerful and inspiring ponies play a dodge-ball game. Rarity was currently acting as one of the referees, as she had no wish to get hit in the face with a dodge-ball. Surprisingly enough, Pinkie Pie didn't want to play, either, though that was because somepony needed to bring out the snacks, and Pinkie Pie could be seen all around the sidelines, popping up out of nowhere to offer drinks, popcorn, whatever the pony seemed to want at the moment. Those who didn't question how the pink blur suddenly managed to appear next to them did question how they managed to get service so fast, and would forever ponder that. With a shrill whistle sounding out, both teams looked up to see Rarity holding a whistle in her magical grasp. Once she had everypony's attention, she strode down to the middle of the gym, and beckoned for both teams to come over. Celestia shot Luna a sly wink before striding over with her team, and Luna could only grin as her team also made their way over. Rarity cleared her throat before sounding off the rules of the game. "Right, these are the rules! I don't want anypony trying to find a way around these rules, and you know I have an eye for detail, so nothing is going to get past me. No magic (this was met with a whine from Twilight Sparkle), no flying (Rainbow Dash nearly died from that rule), no cursing, no cheating, no stepping over your side of the field, and you must start at the ends of the gym, where upon when I blow my whistle, you run to the balls located in the center and...Ugh, use them to bludgeon each other to death. Upon getting hit by a ball, you're out, and must move to the sidelines. Catching a ball from an opposing player will let you bring back a teammate who has been hit earlier, and the pony who threw the ball that you caught is out. If you get hit by a ball but manage to catch it before it hits the floor, the former rule applies. Any other rules can and may be made on the spot if it looks like unfair play to another team, and I reserve the right to call off the game in the event that somepony gets severely injured. Are my rules agreeable and fair?" A wave of nods and murmurs of agreements satisfied Rarity. "Very well then. Return to the back of your team's side and await my whistle." Both teams slowly made their way on over back to their side of the gym, and Rarity walked away, nodding to several attendants, who took that as their cue to lay out the balls that were going to be used in the game. There were eight in all, spread out on the line that separated both teams. Once placed down, Rarity held her hooves up, and silence overtook the entire gym. Horrified that all eyes were on her while she was wearing such a tacky referee uniform, Rarity levitated the whistle up to her mouth, and blew on it, sending out the shrill sounding noise that started the game. With a speed that rivaled sound, Celestia ran up to the center, picking up a ball at the same time that Luna did. Both locked eyes with each other and immediately let loose with their projectiles. Since they were both close to each other, there was no missing for either of them. Celestia's ball hit Luna square in the face, while Luna's ball was impaled on Celestia's horn, deflating immediately with a bang. "Princess Celestia, out! Princess Luna, out! Somepony get another ball in!" Both alicorns glared at one another before retreating to their sidelines. Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, was the second to reach the balls, and she as she grabbed one, she let it fly, hitting Elhaym in the chest and almost hitting Twilight Sparkle in the face as it rebounded. "Rainbow Dash, out!" Rarity's call was unappreciated by Rainbow Dash. "WHAT?! I'm not the one who got hit by a ball!" "You stepped over the line, get out!" Looking down, Rainbow Dash saw that she indeed stepped over the line, and she smacked herself in the face with a wing before trudging over to join Luna. By now, all participants in the game wised up to the dangers of throwing a ball so close to another player or the line, and had begun to back up slightly with their balls before letting them loose. This crossfire was exchanged for awhile, and the crowd was on the edge of their seats, wondering what would happen net. After throwing herself onto the floor to avoid a ball, Spitfire grabbed a ball, tossing it over to Shining Armour. "Captain, throw that ball up lazily, where anypony can catch it; I'll do the rest." "Heh, sounds like a plan." Shining Armour tossed the ball up in a low arc at Applejack, who smirked at the seemingly easy catch that she was about to get. Unfortunately for her, since her attention was on the ball, she didn't see Spitfire's thrown ball, which impacted her in the chest, causing her to take a step back and missing the ball thrown by Shining Armour. "Applejack, out!" "Bah!" Applejack stomped out of the field. Chrysalis noticed the trick that Spitfire and Shining Armor performed on the farmer, and she kept that in mind as Shining Armor threw the ball up lazily. Chrysalis pretended to have her concentration on the ball thrown overhead, but quickly made a grab at Spitfire's thrown ball, which was sucessful. Shining Armour's ball landed a few inches away from the alicorn, who stuck her tongue out at the two; unfortunately, karma was out to get her, as she was hit with a ball from Cadence. "Spitfire, out! Princess Celestia, you're back in! Chrysalis, out!" Celestia gave Chrysalis a grateful nod before going back into the game, dodging a ball thrown by Nightmare Moon; however, that very ball impacted Elhaym, who didn't see the ball that went flying in her direction. "Elhaym, out!" "Aw, shucks." The guard left the playing stage, leaving behind Fluttershy (who everypony was surprised at lasting this long), Celestia, and Twilight Sparkle, against Shining Armour, Cadence, and Nightmare Moon. With half of each team out, the balls weren't flying around as thickly anymore. Twilight Sparkle squeaked with fear as Cadence and Shining Armour started an unrelenting attack on her, throwing balls that Twilight could barely avoid. Her few returning shots were very pitiful, as she had very small windows of opportunity to return fire. In the end, Cadence realized that it would be far easier to just catch one of Twilight's weak throws. "Twilight Sparkle, out! Princess Luna, you're back in!" "I don't even like sports! Why did I agree to this?!" Twilight Sparkle walked off the playing field, and Luna eagerly scrambled back into it. So, we're back in again, eh, Lulu? Celestia grinned as she picked up a ball and flung it at Cadence. Shining Armour, however, took the ball for his wife, sparking a series of gasps from the crowd and from Cadence. Even Rarity had trouble not being moved by the scene in front of her, and she wiped a tear from her right eye as she spoke her words. "Shining Armour...O-Out." Cadence was not taking her husband's sacrifice well, as her tear-stained face was enough to say. "Shiny! Why?! That ball was meant for me! Y-You didn't have to do such a thing! W-Why, why?!" Shining Armour looked up at her with a faint smile, and reached out with a hoof to touch his wife's face. "Because I lov-" The moment was utterly ruined as a ball impacted Cadence in the face. "All's fair in love and war!" Crowed Celestia, as she readied another ball. "...Cadence, out." Shining Armour groaned as his plan backfired on the both of them. "Oh, come on! I was sure that was going to work! You needed to be more convincing, Caddy!" "Excuse me?! Who was the one that tried to act like an overly dramatic diva just now?!" The couple bickered with one another as they left the floor, and Luna sighed as she began trading balls with Celestia. "I have to admit, Tia, it was smart of you to ignore those two!" "You have to learn to be very observant of your surroundings, Lulu." As she said that, irony caught up with her in full force as she tripped on a ball that she didn't see, sprawling out on the floor and causing an impact that made more than a few ponies wince. Even more unfortunate was the fact that Celestia was very, very close to the line that separated the two teams. Taking the opportunity presented to her, Luna quickly ran up to her sister, and grinned down upon her as she prepared to fling a hastily grabbed ball down upon her sister. "It ends now, Tia! I shall win and take your cheesecake!" Horror and scenes of unimaginable things happening to her cheesecakes flashed by Celestia's eyes, and she held a hoof up to shield her face, knowing that her end was near. "No, wait, stop, Lulu! I-I'll do anything for you!" "It's too late to try and trade promises and services, Tia! Now, I shall have my revenge!" Luna threw the ball down on Celestia, who whimpered as it impacted her rump, adding insult to injury. Luna then laughed loudly (and extremely creepily), enjoying the sweet, sweet joy of having bested her sister. That joy, however, was short-lived, as she felt an extremely soft impact against her side. Her laughing ceased and she looked with wide eyes at the pony who threw the ball, which was one Fluttershy, who, after all this time, was still in. "Princess Celestia, out! Princess Luna, out! Team Cheesecake wins!" Author's Note Requested by Zamairiac Drama on the battlefield is possible even if it's filled with balls Luna is merciless Fluttershy wins it for the team I suck at describing dodge-ball She's sleeping, Lulu!She's sleeping, Lulu! Popcorn? Check. Hilariously terrible and cheesy movie about how Twilight Sparkle and her friends defeating Nightmare Moon? Check. Drinks? Check. Spending time with my nephew? Check. If one thing could be said about Celestia and Blueblood's relationship, it was that while they happened to get along very, very well with one another, they also weren't able to spend a whole lot of time together, what with crazy alicorn shenanigans and political issues taking away what little time they could spend together. Now, however, was a good time for them to be together, and they were beginning to watch a movie labeled 'Twilight Sparkle and her battle-maids against the evil Nightmare Moonpie', which stated to be 'The most accurate representation of the Elements of Harmony against Nightmare Moon'. The title alone promised lots of laughter and fun to be had for the two. With a sigh, Celestia sunk into a very comfy chair, very nearly falling asleep just by sitting down on it. Although she had made time to spend with Blueblood, her day didn't go very well for her at all, and she was tired from the usual political deal that came with being a princess. As Blueblood slipped the movie into the DVD player, he looked up at Celestia with a slight frown. "You sound very tired, auntie, judging by that sigh. Are you sure you want to watch a movie with me when you could be turning in early for the night instead? I know how depressing and energy-exhausting the nobility can be at times." With a waved hoof of dismissal, the alicorn shot down Blueblood's recommendation. "Quite sure, Bluey." Celestia stretched her hooves out, groaning with pleasure as she felt something in her back snap. "I'd rather watch a movie with you." The unconvinced look on Blueblood's face told Celestia that she really needed to take lessons in learning how to lie better. However, Blueblood didn't press the issue, and simply walked on over to his chair, and sat down in it with a grin. "Alright then, auntie, if you say so. I'll go ahead and start the movie." With a flick of his magic, he pressed 'play' on the remote control, and the two were treated to the rather overly dramatic and poorly done introduction of Twilight Sparkle, whose name was sounded out as 'Twilight Spahkul'. Unfortunately, a yawn left Celestia's mouth, betraying just how tired she was. Drat. "I-I'm sorry, Bluey, that one slipped. I'm fine." "You're such a terrible liar, auntie; we haven't made it past the first five minutes of the movie and you're yawning! Either this movie is really that bad or you're tired, and I know which one that is because I haven't started yawning myself. Or maybe you're just getting a little too old." With a cheeky grin, he winked at her before levitating some popcorn over, chewing on it with gusto. The nerve of...! Ah, he's just teasing me. I'm sure I don't need any sleep. Sleeping now would show him I'm just an old pony that needs to be tucked into bed at night like a little filly! As the night went on, however, it became apparent that Celestia was getting very, very tired. Her eyes were half-closed and yawning was becoming frequent from her; Blueblood swore that he heard more yawning than action-packed battle fighting scenes (which were decent in the movie, especially once you consider the actors were doing them in maid dresses) from the movie. Soon, though, he had enough of Celestia's stubbornness. Blueblood sighed as he got up from his chair, and turned off the television. "I think you need to get some sleep, auntie." No! I've waited for a long time to spend some time with you, and I will not have it ruined simply because you think I need sleep! I'm a princess, an alicorn, but most of all ,your aunt! "I insist, Bluey, I am perfectly fine!" "What happened in the last five minutes of the movie?" Why is this of any importance? "You were watching the movie as well, you should know!" Her nephew fixed a glare on her. "Stop dodging the question, auntie." "You little rascal...Right, what happened in the last five minutes of the movie..." Celestia trailed off, trying to remember what happened. She was drawing blanks in her mind, however. Surely it isn't this hard to remember? This is what happened in the last five minutes! Celestia's inability to answer quickly told Blueblood all her needed to know. "Auntie Tia, please, get some rest; it was obvious you had your eyes closed throughout the movie, and if you're going to do that, you might as well sleep." "I...I just need a few minutes to lay down and rest my eyes! That's all I need!" Her hasty excuse was laughable, but Blueblood merely smiled; while he often had a childish and immature air about him, he, too, could be calculating and manipulative if it suited his own needs. "Very well, auntie! Please, lay down on your bed for a moment to rest your eyes! I'll just go and get some more popcorn for us." "That sounds very...Good, Bluey." Celestia walked on over to her bed, where she flopped down upon it heavily. Her eyes started to close when something light draped over her back, and she turned her head around to see her blanket on top of her. "I don't need my blanket, Bluey." The stallion picked up the nearly empty bowl of popcorn, and explained his action. "I was just trying to make you more comfortable, auntie. Please, you deserve to be pampered out of anypony in Canterlot right now." "I...Yes, alright then, Bluey, but...But remember, only five minutes!" "Shh, auntie, get some rest." "I...Will...Just re...Remember..." Celestia's eyes closed, and not five seconds after she did so, her breathing was slowed to a very slow pace, telling Blueblood that his aunt had just fallen asleep. Smiling at his deviousness, he quietly walked out of her room, and happened to meet Luna, who was just as surprised to see him. "Bluey! Hello!" With a hiss, Blueblood tried to silence Luna. "Shh! She's sleeping, Lulu!" I'm afraid you're going to have to wait until tomorrow to ask her whatever it is." Luna groaned, and walked away with Blueblood. "I wanted my Rainbow Dash plushie back..." Author's Note Celestia and Blueblood bonding Luna's problems wait until tomorrow Blueblood needs to be in these stories more I want it MY way, Tia!I want it MY way, Tia! "Well, that was rather fun, don't you think, Lulu?" An eager nod accompanied Luna's answer. "Yes, it was! It was so funny seeing Spitfire on fire, she must have had a lot of training and other such things for that!" "...That wasn't actually part of the show." "Oh..." I can't believe Lulu actually thought that Spitfire suddenly catching on fire was actually part of the show; despite her name, Spitfire doesn't actually spit fire. Or catch on fire. Or...Has anything to do with fire, actually. With an exasperated roll of her eyes, Celestia went into a slow dive, followed by Luna. The two of them had just come back from a Wonderbolts show in Cloudsdale, and other than Spitfire's sudden ignition, it was a wonderful show and a chance for the two alicorns to bond with each other. "Hey, Tia?" "Hm?" Celestia flew a little closer to her sister in order to hear her words better; miscommunication was common among pegasai in the air, as they couldn't fly too close to one another, and sometimes the wind would drown out what words were said, often leading to hilarious problems that could have been prevented. "I'm feeling a little hungry; do you think we can stop by a local fast-food restaurant and grab something greasy? I don't want to wait two hours in the kitchens back in Canterlot, with the chefs insisting that they have the experimental corn under control while cooking our dinner." Yeah...That certainly wasn't the best dinner I've had in ages either, and I shudder to think of what will happen tonight if we waited for our food, since they mentioned something about potatoes. "I don't mind, Lulu; in fact, I think I'd prefer going out to eat tonight. Have any place you want to go to particularly?" Luna's eyes lit up, and she nodded. "Yes! Let's go to Burger Princess, I could really go for some grilled fish burgers!" "Now that you mention it, that does sound good; lead on!" Celestia slightly sped up as she went into a slow dive, following her sister as they flew towards a fast-food restaurant that was common all around Equestria, Burger Princess. Its specialty was grilled fish burgers, a delicacy that ponies gobbled up like hotcakes. As the two princesses landed on the cloud that the restaurant was located in, their presence caused most of the ponies to bow or otherwise give respectful gestures of acknowledgement. Both princesses walked up to the surprisingly non-existent line to the bit register; that was a rare sight in Burger Princesses. As they reached the register, they were even more surprised to see that it was Rainbow Dash who was at the cash register. "Hello, princesses! Welcome to Burger Princess, how may I serve you?" Celestia was the first to speak, curious about why she was here. "Erm...A double fish burger, with cheese and tartar sauce, hay fries on the side, and a cola. Rainbow Dash, not to pry, but, why are you here? I thought you worked on the weather team." A nod was given back to Celestia as Rainbow Dash began punching (literally punching) the machine to record Celestia's order. "Yeah, true, but some of the eggheads up in Canterlot say there shouldn't be anything in Ponyville's skies for about a month, and so there's just a skeleton crew on the weather team; since I won't be doing much, I thought I might as well pick up a part-time job here. It's not so bad, actually; though, I gotta say, you don't want clean-up duty. Ever." That made sense to Celestia, and now she was curious about this clean-up duty. "Well, that sounds...Interesting. Lulu, what would you like?" For some reason, Luna took in a deep breath that spanned ten seconds, though Celestia knew why once Luna began blabbering. "I want a few dozen quadruple stacked fish burgers with mayo, hold the pickle, give me the lettuce, tomato, some fried hay strips and three different kinds of cheese layered on top of each fish patty and held together with a toothpick, grill the buns in the best vegetable oil you currently have, stack up my hay fries to the ceiling, give me tubs of ketchup and napkins galore, and empty out your Parasprite into a gigantic cup for me. For dessert, I request two dozen cookies, five slurpees, a giant chocolate cake, and an ice cream cone. Don't forget the plastic toy that comes with a filly or colt meal, and I also want you to dress up in a frilly maid outfit while you're delivering me all my food and I want you to address me as 'mistress'. To go, please." With a brow raised, Celestia looked at Rainbow Dash, who was staring at Luna with a blank expression on her face and a hoof raised up, ready to punch her register. "W-What...? I...You lost me at 'pickle', Princess Luna." With a groan, Luna opened her mouth to say everything she just said. "I want-" Luna's words didn't leave her a second time, as with a swift flick of magic, Celestia closed her sister's mouth. "Lulu will just have what I'm ordering, thank you." "...Thanks, Princess Celestia." Rainbow Dash was relieved to not have to punch the machine for everything Luna ordered, and was about to print out the receipt when Luna broke free of her sister's magic grasp on her mouth. "Tia! You cannot stop me from ordering what I want!" Celestia frowned at her sister, wondering why she was being so difficult right now. "Lulu, you cannot just ask for everything on the menu, ask for Rainbow Dash to play dress up and treat you like a superior being, as well as asking all of that to go! Can you even carry all that?" Stamping a hoof on the ground (causing the bit of cloud that her hoof impacted to poof away to non-existence), Luna whined. "Yes I can, Tia! We are superior beings anyway, and you underestimate the power of brown paper bags! I want it MY way, Tia!" You sound more whiny than Blueblood wanting chocolate milk. "What does wanting your way have to do with anything?" "It's their slogan! See?!" Luna pointed up, and Celestia followed her hoof, seeing the slogan 'Have it your way!' up above the register. "...You're not going to let me convince you otherwise, are you, Lulu?" "Nope!" With a weary sigh, Celestia looked at Rainbow Dash with sad eyes. "I am truly sorry, Rainbow Dash." "Yeah? Not as sorry as I'm going to be." With a pained look on her face, Rainbow Dash began punching her register for Luna's entire order. Author's Note I picture ponies as the vegetarians that still eat fish, you know, for protein and all that To be honest I prefer Five guys Luna wants it her way, and her way is complicated I don't have time for this, Lulu!I don't have time for this, Lulu! I need a pay raise. A big one, at that, though that might be asking for a bit too much. No offense to princesses or anything, of course, but I'm not being paid enough to deal with what I encounter daily, nor is it enough to deal with...'Situations' like these. It certainly isn't enough to cover my insurance in the event I get mauled by something. Elhaym was currently brooding over her financial status in Luna's room, while trying to calm down the alicorn, who, for some reason, was thoroughly spooked. You'd think you'd be absolutely fearless as an alicorn; obviously, that's not the case here. "Please, Princess Luna-" "Call me Lulu, please. I will also not calm down! Y-You didn't see t-that...Thing! You have no idea of the horror I have seen! It's out there, somewhere, in my room in this very instance!" With a sigh, Elhaym looked around the massive room, trying to find the 'thing' Luna was speaking of. It had apparently snuck up behind the lunar princess as she was unwrapping her last package of holiday flavoured moon pies. Her scan of the darkened room came up with nothing, and flatly stared at the cowering alicorn. "I don't see anything that isn't where it belongs, Prin- Lulu." Frantically, Princess Luna was looking about in her room, trying to find the source of her trouble, wondering where such a thing could have gone. "You know not what you speak of, Elhaym! It was here! Bothering me! Scaring me! I cannot eat in safety if that thing continues to walk about, safe within the shadows!" That...Doesn't make any sense, though. Your room is dark, and I can hardly see anything, much less something stalking you in the dark! "...Is that why it's so dark in here and there's very little light?" "Precisely! You're very smart, Elhaym!" "...Wouldn't it make more sense to turn on the lights and then try to find this thing? Right now, if this 'thing' wanted, it could wait safely in the shadows to strike at you when it's ready." "I feel safer in the shadows! Princess of the moon, remember?" That wasn't obvious enough to me yet. Elhaym was about to leave the alicorn to her doom when she heard a faint munching. Are you seriously eating right now? I thought you were afraid. "Lulu, are you really eating a moon pie during what you consider to be an emergency for you? I can hear the crunch." The response given was not one Elhaym was expecting or wanted. "I...Thought that was you eating a moon pie." A silence descended upon them, with the munching of moon pies in the background scaring the both of them. Slowly, through sheer willpower, Elhaym managed to slowly edge herself over to Luna. "Listen, I'm going to turn on this lamp and just find out what the heck is that thing." "No, don-" "I don't have time for this, Lulu!" Elhaym shouted in exasperation, and turned the lamp on. The incoming light that flooded the room was a relief to the bat pony, and she quickly scanned Luna's room for the threat that was creeping her out. As it turned out, Luna had every reason to be afraid. A very large, very frightening, and very hungry looking black jaguar was in Luna's room, munching on her moon pies and looking up at the two with a curious expression on its face. It waved a paw at them before returning to its meal. Elhaym stared at the panther for a little while longer before looking at Luna, then shouting at her. "How does a jaguar show up in your room?!" Luna's answer was less than satisfactory for Elhaym. "How should I know?! I certainly didn't ask for a jaguar to be sent up into my room!" "Well, this is just-" Something rubbed up against her side, and Elhaym cringed, wondering if her life was about to end right there and then. Surprisingly, for the ponies, the jaguar was actually giving what seemed to be a purr as it rubbed up against Elhaym, and the guard couldn't help but give the jaguar a few pats on the head, wondering what was happening to her right now. I...Okay, I think I'm not going to die yet. Maybe. It depends if it's actually snuggling with me, or just trying to lull me into a false sense of security. "Lulu...Uh, what do I do with the jaguar? It...Seems to like me." "I don't know, just don't let that thing near my moon pies! She devastated my special holiday flavour moon pies! WHY! WHY?!" Luna began sobbing as she saw the carnage wrecked upon her moon pies, unable to take in the sight that would forever be burned into her eyes. Elhaym and the jaguar stare at the grieving alicorn together, until something clicked in Elhaym's mind. "She, eh?" Elhaym looked down at the jaguar, and saw eyes full of intelligence staring back up at her. "Well, Lulu seemed to figure out your gender quickly, and I see no reason why you aren't female. I should give you a name...How about I call you Wayang? It means 'Shadow', and I think it would fit you perfectly, since, well, you hid really, really well in the shadows as you freaked Luna and I out." The jaguar seemed to enjoy that name, as it purred louder before nuzzling her face. Laughing, Elhaym tried to stop the jaguar as it continued to nuzzle her face. "S-Stop! H-hahaha, that tickles! L-Luna, do something!" As it turned out, Luna did do something, though it wasn't what Elhaym was asking for. The alicorn panicked, and ran out of the room, screaming. "Guards! I need some guards! A jaguar is eating Elhaym's face off!" Author's Note Trouble in Luna's room It's a jaguar Elhaym now has an overgrown house cat she can ride into battle with Yes, and big explosions, Tia! (Colgate Arc)Yes, and big explosions, Tia! (Colgate Arc) You know, you'd think that I'd keep better tabs on my ponies, but when all is said and done, I'm just a pony, just like the rest of them, which is probably why this happened. Quietly, Celestia was observing Blueblood, who was content in staring back at her with a slight frown on his face. Despite his singed and sooty fur and his unamused look towards me, he doesn't appear any worse for wear, though obviously that's not the case for the chair he's sitting on right now. "I'm very sorry to hear that things went badly at Twilight's home." A thoughtful expression erased Blueblood's frown from his face, and he spoke after what seemed to be much consideration on his part. "Well...It wasn't too bad, all things considered, but auntie, can you please warn me of the projects you send to Sparky? As much as I'd like to help her, I'd rather not participate in one where there's a rather large chance that there will be explosions and ponies dressed up as poptarts flying by us." "Oh, of course, I'll...Wait, ponies dressed up as poptarts?" What the heck is he going on about? "Yes, and big explosions, Tia! You'll probably hear about it in the news sometime tomorrow, auntie, but, I'll continue..." "Oh, Twilight, you're doing the experiment all wrong!" Blueblood and Colgate paused before pouring their respective reactants and catalysts in, and Twilight set aside her notepad to cross her hooves and look at Pinkie Pie with a frown. "How is this experiment wrong? We're testing to see if this new carbonated candy is safe enough to eat while also drinking soda!" Pinkie bounced on over to Blueblood and Colgate, smiling widely. "That's what you're doing wrong! You're testing a myth whispered by the candy company manufacturers! It's just candy and soda! There's no possible way for anything to happen, watch!" Pinkie Pie grabbed the bottle of cola from a startled Colgate, and Blueblood took a step back, not wanting to get in the way of the party pony. In hindsight, however, he should have blocked her from attempting to reach the poprocks. "This can't go well." Colgate muttered, and Blueblood nodded slowly, agreeing with her as Twilight tried to stop Pinkie Pie. Unfortunately, she couldn't stop the physics defying pony. "Down she goes!" Pinkie Pie opened up the bottle of cola, and poured the entire thing down on the sample of poprocks. On instinct, Blueblood, Colgate, and Twilight hit the floor, not wanting to expose themselves to whatever happened once the cola hit the poprocks. A sinister sizzling sound and pops were heard, causing Pinkie Pie to giggle. "See?! That wasn't so bad; just a really scary sizzling sound and popping! Poprocks and cola can mix together!" "Pinkie!" Twilight shouted in exasperation, "Pinkie, what have you done?! Those are poprocks that have been magically carbonated, not the standard poprocks carbonated through a candy machine! That soda has also been magically carbonated! The experiment was to see if magically carbonated substances could combine with one another without blowing up!" "Oh. Oops." Pinkie Pie stared at the sizzling mess she made, then joined Blueblood and Twilight on the floor. "Twitchy, twitchy! Something's going to ex-" Indeed, the mixture of magically carbonated poprocks and soda not only exploded, but caught on fire as well, causing Twilight to go hysterical. "W-We gotta get outta here!" Don't have to tell me twice! Blueblood scrambled up to his feet, ignoring the slight pain he felt from sparks and embers being thrown at him as he ran up the stairs, followed by Twilight and Pinkie Pie. The flames were licking up the walls of the tree, and soon, little bits and pieces began falling down, creating a hazard that was not too easily avoidable for the ponies, though Blueblood was the one who brunt the worst of it. Smoke was beginning to ascend with the ponies, and breathing was beginning to get slightly difficult. They did, however, manage to safely ascend to Twilight's living room, and scrambled to the door that led outside. Well...The worst of it is behind us, now, I- A massive explosion from within the lab caused the entire tree to go up in flames, and the shockwave caused Blueblood to fall down on his rump, hard. His hurting backside, however, was ignored in favor of gaping at what was once considered to be Twilight's home entirely go up in flames, looking like a sick bonfire. "O-Oh dear..." This, of course, was nothing compared to Twilight's reaction. "My books! My home! My books! My lab! My books!" Pinkie Pie, surprisingly enough, had a smile on her face, and gently nudged Twilight. "Oh, don't be sad, Twilight! You told me yourself you enchanted your bookshelves and by extension, the books in those book shelves to be completely fire-proof after you realized Spikey could burn your collection of romantic novels in one go with a sneeze! Your books are safe!" "Y-You're...You're right, Pinkie!" Twilight grabbed Pinkie and began bouncing up and down with her, and Blueblood couldn't help but stare at his foalhood friend happily bouncing with another friend while her home was burning down. It made for a rather...Interesting sight, to say the least. You...Care more for your books than your home? That's...A very odd sense of priorities. A female voice from behind nearly gave him a heart attack as he wondered why Twilight would put so much safety upon her books. "Duuuude. What happened?" Blueblood turned around to see Rainbow Dash, though the pegasus was clad in what appeared to be a poptart costume. Today is just getting ridiculous, and I've had more than enough of this! "Why are you dressed up as a popta-" The pegasus was quick to react to Blueblood's words, shoving her face in his. "Have something against poptarts?!" "...No, but why are you in...?" With a sigh, Rainbow Dash pointed at a nearby boutique. "Had the costume made for a fundraiser to promote how delicious poptarts are and their new rainbow splash flavour, and, well, I was the obvious choice for this, sadly. There's a few more pegasai dressed up as poptarts, too, in the air." She waved a hoof up at the air, and indeed, there were multiple pegasi dressed up in poptarts, circling the burning tree at a safe distance. "Err...Isn't it...Weird, though? To dress up as a poptart, I mean." Rainbow Dash nodded, shuddering. "Yeah, it is, but it's a few more bits though! I'd chat with ya more, but I think I need to chat with Twilight first." Blueblood rolled his eyes as the pegasus approached Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie, exchanging words with each other. I'll never look a poptart the same again. Wait...Aren't we forgetting... A gasp left him, and he approached Twilight with alarm in his eyes. "Twilight! Where's Colgate?! I didn't notice her leaving with us!" A startled gasp left Twilight, and she looked back at her burning home fearfully, with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie looking at each other with uncertainty in their eyes. "D-Do you think she's still...?" "Outta the way, ponies, the fire fighters are here!" Blueblood turned to the sound of the voice, and looked on in disbelief as he saw Colgate, without any singes or soot on her fur, the lab coat and goggles were gone, and she was leading a group of fire fighters to the scene. I...But, I didn't see you escape with us...Hmm... Regardless of his personal curiosity in wondering how Colgate managed to leave the library, it was put aside for relief as the fire fighters began the attempt to douse the fire with water. Pinkie Pie immediately ran up to Colgate, her hooves thrown open for a hug. "Oh, that was really, reaaaaaaally good timing, Colgate!" A grin was on Colgate's face as she hugged Pinkie Pie. "Yeah! I just know when to get things done on time!" Excusing herself for a moment, Twilight Sparkle walked on over to Blueblood, and she spoke softly to him. "You're wondering how, aren't you, Bluey?" Blueblood spoke just as softly, making a slight nod towards Colgate. "About how Colgate managed to leave your home quickly, as well as managing to contact the fire ponies as well?" With a nod of affirmation, Twilight sat down next to him, then gazed at her still burning home. "Yes. This isn't the first time Colgate suddenly appeared with the right tools or ponies for something; it's something of a town legend, where Colgate just so happens to have the right timing for everything." "Hmm...That does sound strange. You know, I-" Celestia was confused as Blueblood suddenly stopped speaking. "Is that the end of the tale?" That seems to be a rather...Abrupt ending. "No, because then I was mauled by one Rarity, who was dressed up as a marshmallow." Author's Note Poprocks and soda urban legend Pinkie Pie doesn't know what she's getting into Poptarts are sponsors of the Wonderbolts Colgate is very suspicious Share, Lulu!Share, Lulu! They're getting closer...They are nearly through the gates, but I will not let them take what is rightfully mine! They shall not take away what I love, never ever! They will have to go through me, first, and I will not make it easy for them to do so! Fighting will happen for every inch of ground that they need in order to approach me, I- "I gotta go use the restroom, Lulu." Luna shot a nasty look at Elhaym, who was unfazed as she stared back with an unamused look at her superior. With a sigh, Luna waved a hoof, and Elhaym quickly shot out from her spot with a white flag. "Cease-fire, I have to use the restroom!" Wayang looked over at Luna with what could be considered a grin (a very scary looking one), and nuzzled Luna's side, unaware of the fact that her mistress was about to get hit with a barrage of pillows. Waving a hoof at where Elhaym had gone, Luna spoke softly, with a sad tone in her voice. "Wayang, does she not know of the dangers out there?! She knows not what she's getting into. Why, I doubt they'd-" Celestia's voice interrupted her. "Okay, you got ten minutes, Elhaym, then we'll resume the war! Lulu, I kind of need a break as well; we've been at this for hours." Everything's out to stop me from making this dramatic, isn't it? Oh well, I guess a break is in session, so I might as well make the most of it. Wayang seemed to think so, too, as she bounded out of the pillow fort that Luna made with Elhaym, seemingly wanting a break too (even though Wayang hadn't really done anything other than lounge around the fort). Luna followed Wayang out of the fort, and she saw Celestia and Cadence leave their pillow fort as well, heading towards a table with a magical barrier around it, designed to keep pillows out from it. On that table was an array of snacks, perfect for a pillow fight late at night. Hmm...Now, what to eat? There's quite a nice selection of snacks laid out... There was popcorn, poptarts, toast, little candies and chocolates, moon pies, all manners of baked goods, and even a few slices of cheesecake, all along the table, just enticing anypony to come around and take something from it. The one thing I don't like is the fact that we have so many snacks! Sure, we eat them all in the end, but that doesn't mean we need to bring around twenty different items. Luna picked up a small package, which contained two strawberry poptarts. She pulled out one of them, and bit into it. She watched as Cadence and Celestia wandered around the snack table, looking confused. "Caddy? Where is that package of poptarts?" Luna looked down at the poptart she was eating, and groaned. Oh, sure, SURE, I just happened to pick up the poptarts, and soon, there will be some kind of argument that happens that I unintentionally caused. Nice going, Lulu! Luna was spot on for her prediction, as Cadence looked over at her. "Lulu's eating a poptart, auntie!" "Share, Lulu!" Celestia and Cadence were immediately at Luna's side, looking down at the last poptart (having seemingly both mentally agree that it was only fair to let Luna eat the poptart she was attempting to eat right now). "Caddy, as your aunt, I-" "No!" Cadence growled at Celestia, who widened her eyes at such an aggressive noise towards her. "That poptart is mine! I may have eaten the rest of the packages of poptarts when I came back from the mall with Chrys and Moonie, but that doesn't mean anything!" Luna snorted, finishing off her first poptart. What exactly makes you think I'm going to share my last remaining poptart with either of you?! Maybe I want the poptart to myself! Huh?! "T-Tia, Caddy, please, there's no need to-" With a growl of anger, Celestia lowered herself into what Luna easily recognized as her battle-stance. "You nearly ate five packages of poptarts on the way back from the mall! I should at least get one poptart to myself!" "Why shouldn't I finish the job I started?!" Cadence stared hungrily at the poptart, only to be slapped across the face with a small beam of magic from Celestia. "Are you saying that you deserve to eat the poptart when I haven't got a single one?!" Cadence nodded, and levitated a pillow up. "Maybe I am!" The two alicorns glared at each other before running back to the pillow forts, though this time, Celestia took Luna's. Pillows began flying everywhere, propelled at unsafe magic velocities. Wayang screeched, and bounced out of Celestia's pillow fort to hide behind Luna, looking up at her with scared eyes. Luna took a moment to finish off the poptart she bit into before looking down at Wayang. "You're a jaguar. Not an overgrown housecat. Suck it up." Luna's answer was met with a low hiss from Wayang, and she gently batted at Luna with a paw. Luna patted Wayang's head gently as she watched her sister and Cadence go to war with one another. "Err...Why are Princess Cadence and Princess Celestia fighting each other? I thought it was us against them." Elhaym walked up to Luna, amazed at the barrage of pillows being flung everywhere. With a sigh, Luna pointed at the remaining poptart. "They began fighting over a poptart. A POPTART." ...I'm not going to ask. "Aw, is poor Wayang scared?" The jaguar nodded, and Elhaym hugged her gently, generating a purr from the jaguar. "Don't be scared, Wayang, the princesses won't hurt you!" "Just don't get caught in the crossfire." Luna muttered as she grabbed the last poptart, and lifted it up towards her mouth. Unfortunately, both alicorns sensed that the poptart was in danger, turned around to see Luna reaching forward for it, gasped. Together, without any sort of planning, the two of them quickly picked the biggest pillows they had nearby, and both flung two hyper-charged pillows at Luna. The result was an immediate drop of the poptart back onto the table as Luna was propelled through the ceiling, creating a Luna-sized hole in it. Realizing what the other had done, Celestia and Cadence shot each other a salute before going back to throwing pillows at each other, with a scared Elhaym and Wayang watching them fearfully, afraid that they would be the next ones to go through the ceiling. Author's Note Pillow fights Luna doesn't like sharing Poptarts Elhaym and Wayang are scared I'm not sick, Tia!I'm not sick, Tia! Why?! Why me?! Why not Chrys?! Why not...Well, anypony other than me?! Sure, I don't have to do any paperwork or any other things today, but why me?! I can't be sick! I'm not sick! This is a cruel joke that Lulu or Tia must be playing on me! This is the worst day ever! Nightmare Moon was in bed, though it was not because she wanted to stay in bed today. She found herself too weak to move and very, very tired. Deemed sick, Celestia was keeping watch over her, despite the protests given by Nightmare Moon, insisting that she wasn't sick and that she was fine. For the love of...Seriously, I'm fine! I'm not some sick little filly that needs to be doted on by her mother! "I'm not sick, Tia! Y-You don't have to worry about me! I assure you that I am f-fine!" Nightmare Moon feebly tried to wave Celestia off, with no effect other than slightly irritating Celestia, who was adding another blanket on top of the seven that were already on top of Nightmare Moon. "You have a cold, Moonie, and it just wouldn't feel right, leaving you all alone like this! Like it or not, I'm staying with you!" With a sniffle, Nightmare Moon tried to shoot a look of disdain at Celestia, though her attempt failed when she sneezed. "Ugh! O-Okay...Maybe I'm a little under the weather...T-That doesn't mean I'm sick!" "...You do realize 'under the weather' practically means 'sick', right?" Oh. I got to learn what these things mean before I say them! "N-No it doesn't." "Yes it does." "No it doesn't." "Yes it..." Rolling her eyes, Celestia looked over at the hot tomato soup, and took a sip of it with a spoon. Deeming it just right, she dipped a new spoon (not wanting Nightmare Moon to possibly get anything else from her), and smiled as she levitated the spoon towards Nightmare Moon's mouth. "Well, maybe it doesn't. That doesn't matter, though, because here comes the choo-choo train!" With a groan, Nightmare Moon opened her mouth to allow Celestia to feed her, as she didn't want tomato soup dripping down on her coat on top of everything else. Once she had the warm soup safely resting in her stomach (and not on her coat), she complained. "J-Just what the hay is that, Tia?! Are you sure you're the one not sick, taking pleasure in treating me like a sick filly?!" Aw...Isn't that sweet! A big, powerful alicorn, complaining that she's being treated like a little filly! It almost makes me want to pity her situation...Almost. With a sigh, Celestia set the bowl of soup off to the side, and stood up. "Moonie, please, I'm supposed to be taking care of you, and I can't do that if you're going to fight me the whole time." "I'm also telling you that I'm not sick! Watch!" With a grunt, Nightmare Moon flung off her covers, and slowly eased her hooves onto the floor. "See?! Perfectly fine!" Her sentence was finished off with a sneeze. ...I want to help her right now, I really do, but I think it's best if she finds out for herself how weak and sick she really is. Celestia watched as Nightmare Moon took one, two, three steps, and on the fourth, she lost her balance, falling to the floor with a sickening thud. Biting back a sharp retort, Celestia walked up to Nightmare Moon, and offered her a slight smile. "I don't think you're leaving bed today, Moonie." With a slight glow of her horn, Celestia levitated Nightmare Moon back over to her bed, who was complaining again. "I-I can't be sick...A-Alicorns can't be sick!" "We can be, especially if you were up all night having a snowball fight with Lulu! I'm surprised she isn't sick and bedridden like you, honestly." Celestia zapped the tomato soup with a bright beam of light, as it had gotten slightly cold while Nightmare Moon tried to prove to Celestia that she could at least walk. "Besides, why are you not accepting the fact that you're sick, anyway? It's not like you have anything important to do today." "That's the problem!" Nightmare Moon pointed at the bowl of soup, and Celestia couldn't help but chuckle a bit as she fed Nightmare Moon again, though without the little filly treatment this time. "Tia, I had absolutely nothing to do today! That's what's so important! I could be out pranking with Blueblood, shopping at the mall, drinking a slurpee, doing...Doing so many random and needless things! There could be so much I could have done today, because I have nothing important to attend to! Now, though, I can't, because I'm sick!" With that, Nightmare Moon crossed her hooves and looked at Celestia with an angry expression. To Nightmare Moon's surprise, though, Celestia didn't look fazed throughout her little rant. "I understand, Moonie, and while I don't particularly want to stay in your room and take care of you, either, I have to do it; the others are busy with work. You know what, though? In a way, you can thank yourself for getting sick." Celestia's piece of advice wasn't taken well by Nightmare Moon. "What?! Why?! You actually mean to tell me that it's actually a good thing that I'm sick right now?!" With a nod, Celestia inserted another spoonful of warm soup into Nightmare Moon's mouth. "Yes. The reason why, though, is because you are now looking forward to your next free day, and you'll want to make it so much better than what you could do today. There's a silver lining in everything." "...I...Haven't thought about it like that. It doesn't help me very much in my current position, though!" "I know." Celestia was waiting for Nightmare Moon to make a snide comment, but she was silent, with a thoughtful look on her face. I wonder what she's thinking about; she's such a hard alicorn to read sometimes. Heck, it's easier to talk to Discord, even though he's a stone statue. Celestia was able to feed Nightmare Moon the rest of the soup without any other incident interrupting her, and once the soup was all gone, Celestia picked up the bowl, and smiled down at Nightmare Moon. "Thank you for not making too much of a fuss, Moonie. I'm going down to the kitchens to clean up this bowl and to get myself a snack." Celestia managed to walk all the way up to the door when she heard Nightmare Moon call out her name softly. "Tia?" Turning around to face Nightmare Moon, Celestia blinked at her before replying."Hmm? Was there something you wanted me to get for you on the way down to the kitchens?" Although she seemed to calm down, Celestia expected some sort of request that was just silly. "Can I get a waffle?" You just had a bowl of soup, but...Okay. "...Sure. No butter, no syrup." A look of sadness was on Nightmare Moon's face as she sighed. "...Fine." Author's Note Alicorns can get sick Snowball fights at night aren't a good thing Nightmare Moon wants a waffle It's the end, Lulu!It's the end, Lulu! Ah, a day of relaxation! Just me, my sister, and Chrys! Poor Moonie, having to stay in the castle, but hey, she drew the shortest straw! No doubt she'll lace some poison joke in our beds tonight like last time; hopefully I don't wake up and get an effect that isn't as...'Weird' as Tia's. It was pretty funny, though, to see her in the little body of a filly; and her voice was so cute when it cracked! Luna, Chrysalis, and Celestia were making their way through one of Canterlot's many malls, shopping, looking around, and just having a very good time with each other, as most ponies would have in a mall with their friends. However, Luna was beginning to feel hungry; the moment she'd been waiting for most of all throughout their trip in the mall. When shopping, always go on a half-full stomach, because then when you get hungry in the middle of shopping, you get to whine about needing food, and nothing's better than mall food! With a lick of her lips, Luna envisioned what she could possibly look forward to; slurpees, fish burgers, slurpees, hay fries, slurpees, fried marshmallows on a stick, slurpees, fried ice cream, fried slurpees, and all manners of unhealthy yet delicious food, all found within the food court of the mall. Especially slurpees. Let's start whining now and hope it works! "Tiiiiiiiia!" Luna almost sang out, while grabbing hold of her older sister. "Hmm?" Celestia turned her head slightly to look over at her younger sister, wondering what she could possibly be screeching like a cat about. "Did we pass by something that you like?" "No!" Luna pointed over at the general direction of the food court. "I'm hungry! I want something to eaaaaaat!" With a grin, Celestia laughed as she shook her sister off. "Okay, okay! I could go for a bite to eat as well, Lulu, we have been shopping for awhile now." "You two have the fastest metabolism ever, I swear." Chrysalis rolled her eyes as she eyed the two with a frown. "Didn't you just eat an entire plate of waffles before we left, Lulu?" "Well, it obviously wasn't enough, because I'm hungry now!" Luna said, stamping her hoof on the ground softly (which was still hard enough to cause a crack on the poor tile she stomped on). "I want something to eaaaaaat!" "Shh, Lulu, just don't bring the mall crashing down on us with your voice, and you'll get something to eat!" Celestia passed a few bits (which, in reality was a sack full of a few hundred bits) to her sister, smiling at her. "Just go buy whatever you want, and meet us back here, alright?" "Yeah, okay! Thank you, Tia!" Luna quickly dashed off to the food court, where she smelled greasy food in all its glory, being made to unhealthy perfection. The scent of frying oil and sweet treats was almost overwhelming, but also subtle, trying to draw ponies in to sample its unhealthy food. It was also successful, as seen by the large amount of ponies taking a break from shopping to eat within its clutches. Now, Luna was about to join them. If ponies were concentrating on Luna, they would have seen an alicorn travelling throughout the food court, barely visible as a blur that went around ordering food. She bought fries, burgers, noodles, chips, cookies, sodas, and many more unhealthy foods quickly, slowed down only by having to wait to get her order cooked by the food ponies working here. To top her entire greasy and sugary meals, she bought a salad, with non-fat dressing. Ah! I think this is all that I need to sate my ever-growing hunger! It shall be cleansed with the strongest, greasiest, and most sugary foods known to pony-kind; the food that comes from the food court! My hunger will wail in agony as the food promptly demolishes it with unrelenting power! Oh, and, the salad too. I can't forget about that. It will...Be backup! Yes! It shall be on the lookout, making sure my hunger does not strike back at me when I least expect it! Now, to top off my food with only the most delectable food of all...That no other food will ever come close to it at being the best food item ever made in the history of pony-kind...Slurpees! With a hum as she pushed her wheelbarrow full of food towards the convenience store a little beyond the food court, she noticed something very wrong, something that chilled her to the core and threatened to rip apart her sanity. It wasn't due to Chrysalis foaming at the mouth in front of a store, with Celestia sitting down on her rump in front of Chrysalis, staring blankly ahead at the same store. Nor was it the fact that they were letting their own wheelbarrows of greasy food growing cold. No, it wasn't either of those things, and it also wasn't the fact that the mall cop who was trying to get a response from the two alicorns was Rainbow Dash, who looked surprisingly cute in the bland uniform. No, it was the fact that the convenience store had signs on it, saying that the store was moving locations, to another mall, one that was very far away from this mall. This caused panic to immediately swell up inside of Luna; they were the only ones who supplied slurpees in this entire mall, and the fact that she was now unable to get one caused Luna to cry out in sudden pain and fear at what she was seeing. Upon hearing her sister cry out, Celestia turned around, and wailed at her sister, pointing a hoof at what Luna already knew. "It's the end, Lulu! It's the eeeeeeeend! We don't have slurpees in this maaaaall!" "No! Not the slurrrrrrrrpeeeeees! Why have we been forsaken?! This is not how it's supposed to end!" Quickly, Luna ran up to Celestia, and threw her hooves around her, sobbing into her chest. Rainbow Dash could only watch as Luna and Celestia held each other in each others hooves, crying and wailing loudly, to the discontentment and discomfort of other ponies who happened to be nearby. Even though she was supposed to be making everything better, she was a mall cop; she wasn't paid enough for this. Reaching behind her, she brought out a phone, and began to record the alicorns reaction to the convenience store closing rather then trying to calm them down. I'm probably going to get fired again, but, eh, I can always crash at Twilight's place. Besides, recording all of this is far more satisfying then getting a few more bits. Author's Note Requested by zyr1987, though I have butchered the idea to better fit my ability to write, sorry Celestia became an alicorn sized marshmallow Did I mention slurpees enough yet Rainbow Dash is a mall cop now after she punched the register so hard it flew at a customer The end is near That's about it, Tia! (Colgate Arc)That's about it, Tia! (Colgate Arc) Blueblood's story just gets more ridiculous with everything he says; how can I even be sure he's telling the truth? With a sigh, Celestia tapped the base of her horn, wanting to know why it always suddenly began hurting after Blueblood tried to explain things to her. Must be something he's doing wrong. Oh well...You can endure this, Tia! "Please, repeat what you just said to me again, Bluey, so I know that I'm not going deaf...Rarity...Mauled you? In...A marshmallow costume?" A nod from Blueblood confirmed that she was not going deaf, and the tapping to the base of her horn intensified. Okay, once this is all over with, I better keep better tabs on what the heck happens in Ponyville. "I...See. What, exactly, did you do again to earn her disdain for you?" "I...Err...More or less became an insufferable brat to her at the Gala, like I was when I was younger." You still are a brat, though in a good way. The kind where everypony loves you whenever you do your thing. Like setting fire to cereal. I don't know how that happened, but it did. "So, tell me, what happened next?" "Pain." Blueblood had never wondered how mares could leave scratch marks whenever they 'broke' and began flailing their hooves (which didn't have any manner of claws or the like) around at somepony, but that was something he'd reflect on later, after his encounter with the marshmallow (he was also, later, wary of putting marshmallows in hot chocolate for a long time after this incident, for fear that they would suddenly swarm him and attempt to beat him into submission). "OW OW MAKE IT STOP OW-" "You...You...Evil thing! How dare you treat me in such a fashion at the gala! I'll teach you to mess with somepony as fabulous as moi!" Blueblood's response was occasionally interrupted by pain as he held his hooves up, trying to deflect the blows from the crazed mare. "I-OW, assure you, that I tho-STOP THAT, thought you were another mare just trying to get int-NOT IN THE FACE, trying to get into good standing with auntie Tia!" Unfortunately, Blueblood's words only seemed to anger the marshmallow hitting him, and she continued to smack him around until Twilight finally stopped panicking long enough to put up a shield around the suffering (and now grateful) Blueblood. "Rarity, stop hurting my friend!" The last two words spoken by Twilight were met with a cat-like screech by Rarity, who whirled around to face the other unicorn. "You?! Friends with this brute?! Twilight Sparkle, I expected better from you!" Twilight winced at how her friend was screeching at her; it wasn't doing any good for her ears. "It's not entirely his fault! He tends to act like that in public to put off ponies away from him that he doesn't like or know! He assumes everypony he meets wants to try and use him to gain favors from him, and by extension, Princess Celestia!" With a glare, Rarity stared down at a whimpering Blueblood, then at Twilight. "Gala." Sighing, Twilight nodded. "He'll apologize. Won't you, Bluey?" For good measure, she forced him to stand back up, and unsteadily trying to keep his balance after such a vicious attack, he nodded. "Yes...I'm v-very sorry, Miss Rarity, I d-didn't know you actually had a genuine interest in me, and for that, I am sorry for treating you as I do with the others." "Well! You should not be too quick to judge ponies." Suddenly smiling, Rarity extended a hoof out towards Blueblood, who stared at it warily before gently taking it, giving Rarity a hoof-shake. "Now that's all settled...TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" From frightening, to warm, to frightening again, Blueblood wondered what kind of friends Twilight made in Ponyville, as his friend recoiled from having her name shouted. "What on Equestria did you do to burn such a beautiful if somewhat unconventional home?!" Twilight raised a hoof to her right ear, convinced she had gone deaf in that ear. "Pinkie." That name was all was needed to be said, to Blueblood's surprise. "Oh. Say no more, Twilight! I'd stay and chat a little more about why this all happened and why...Blueblood is here, but I'd rather not get involved with anything involving Pinkie Pie. Now, if you two will excuse me, I need to get back to the marshmallow convention." Rarity walked rather elegantly (which was quite the feat, as the marshmallow costume she was in dwarfed her) away, leaving behind a scared and confused Blueblood with a temporarily (to Twilight's later relief) deaf Twilight. "Err. Okay." Still unsure on what terms he was with Rarity, Blueblood turned around to Twilight, and spoke, though he made sure it was to her left, and not her right. "Your friends are weird, Twilight, and I don't envy you. So, what about Colgate do you know?" "Well, Bluey, they aren't so bad once you...Get used to the fact that they certainly aren't from Canterlot, and don't mind how crazy things get here sometimes. The first thing that tipped me off about Colgate's strange mannerisms was her cutie mark. I-" At this, Blueblood couldn't help but chuckle and make a lewd question, as he had been trained to do so (the best fifty bits he ever spent, in his opinion). "Oh, really, Twilight? Been studying Colgate's cutie mark long and hard, like you do when you usually study things?" "B-Bluey!" Twilight's face was flushed red, and she gently punched him, while he was trying to contain his laughter (to his failure). "Y-You're so immature! A-Anyway, it just seems a bit strange to me; an hourglass? I mean, she works at a workshop, and I've actually seen her work there, but I don't think her cutie mark matches the work she does, because she doesn't seem to be very good at it." "That's rather mean, and, of course, cutie marks can mean very vague things; there isn't exactly a right or wrong way to interpret them if you think about it." Blueblood said, once he finally stopped laughing. He then settled his gaze on Colgate, who seemed to be conversing with a fire pony. "What do you think her special talent is, then?" "Time." "...That's a bit too broad for me to determine what you mean by that so you'll have to explain it to me." With a sigh, Twilight took a moment to simplify her words before speaking. "She's always on time, always seems to have the right ponies or tools for the task at hoof whenever something needs to be done, is almost always there to avert a small disaster with some help, and is always first in line at Sugar cube corner for free franzbrötchen Friday." Blueblood's next question was, of course, about what Twilight said last. "What's a franzbrötchen?" Twilight waved a hoof over at a building designed as a gingerbread house. "Something that they bake at Sugar Cube Corner. Never mind that, Bluey! Point is, she always seems to be on time in instances like this, and it's just as impossible to figure out as Pinkie Pie, since she's so mysterious!" With a sigh, Blueblood shook his head slowly. "That's about it, Tia! If you want to know where Colgate resides, she lives in a small home, sharing it with one Lyra Heartstrings, in a building located just off of Rarity's boutique. Nothing else of interest happened, and now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take a shower. Maybe multiple ones, at that, for my fur." "Of course, Bluey, you may go. Take the chair with you, I think I've been wanting to order a new one anyway." Celestia nodded towards the door, which he shuffled on over to as he dragged the chair with him. With a slight frown, Celestia waited for him to leave her room (with her poor chair) before looking up at the sky. Lyra...If she's who I also think it is...It couldn't be mere coincidence, what this 'Colgate' is doing, and her description.... "Well...It seems like I'm paying Colgate and Lyra a visit. After all, I'm sure they remember what happened a thousand years ago." Author's Note Blueblood gets smacked silly Twilight just might maybe slightly could be perhaps interested in Colgate Almost done with the arc here That's a terrible choice, Lulu!That's a terrible choice, Lulu! "I'm bored." The words came from Luna, who was laying down on top of Celestia, and had her head resting on her sister's barrel. The two of them were exhausted from today's work, and so, they did the only thing that would begin to make them feel better; cuddling with one another on a sofa while talking about each other's day (both of which happened to be quite boring). It was working, somewhat; the downside was that there wasn't much to actually talk about, so the ever-increasing threat of getting killed by boredom was creeping up on them. "So am I." Raising her right hoof up, Celestia began running it through Luna's mane, admiring how her sister's mane caught the light. Caught pretty much everything, actually. Her sister's hair was like a brick wall. "...So why aren't we doing anything?" "You tell me." A cheeky, short reply was given to Celestia. "No." Lazy, Celestia thought with a slight frown, you expect me to think of something for you? Fine; there's a theoretical question I've been wanting to ask anyway. "Fiiiiiine, if only to relieve our boredom somewhat. If you had to pick a pony, any pony, to become an alicorn like us, who would you pick?" Luna lifted her head up slightly, interested in her sister's question. "Hmm. That's kinda interesting, Tia. I'm not being serious with this answer, but Pinki-" Celestia was quick. "No." "I figured as much. Well...I'd have to say Rainbow Dash." Obvious choice, coming from you, Lulu, but seriously? "Excuse me for saying this, please. That's a terrible choice, Lulu! Seriously, all Rainbow Dash would do is sonic rainbooms all day and complain about suddenly being too cool for the wonderbolts. She also would probably not do any political work required within the castle, and would most likely cause an international incident, what with her attitude of hers. You don't pick her because you have a crush on her." With a sigh, Luna looked at her sister with a slight frown. "I do not have a crush on her, and oh, sure, like you have a better choice in mind." "You hide your feelings very poorly, and I do, actually." Whatever. Totally don't have the hots for Rainbow Dash. Luna lowered her head back down onto Celestia's barrel, feeling too tired to keep it up anymore. "Name?" A slightly happy Celestia immediately thought of the only pony who she would pick to take this theoretical position. Only the most suitable pony, of course. "Twi-" Groaning, Luna gently slapped her sister across the face. "Now you're just playing favourites." Smarting from the slap, Celestia rubbed her muzzle gently while scowling at Luna. "What?" "Tia, she's not a serious pony you can honestly pick; she can't be, if you have any sense at all, which I doubt you do. She panics easily, thinks too hard about some subjects, is known for being very OCD, and she is the most powerful unicorn I've seen in a long time; if we theoretically picked Twilight Sparkle to become an alicorn, chances are she'd start a war because some ponies don't like hash browns. I've seen Twilight eat hash browns. It's not pretty." ...That's true. Especially the hash brown part. "Lulu, think of the possibilities, though!" Luna scoffed at what her sister said. "What possibilities? We'd be trying to stop her from going to war against our own country, specially the ponies that don't like hash browns. That's a possibility I don't want to experience because potato prices will probably raise everywhere. Oh, and ponies would get hurt." "Well, being so organized, Twilight could do all of our paperwork!" Yes that'd be nice, but you're missing the point, Tia. "...While putting us into a war; I really don't want to smack ponies around with those giant pretzel sticks our soldiers use as spears. You're blind to her faults because she's your favourite, Tia." "Well...I could argue that Rainbow Dash is your favourite, as well." "True enough, Tia." A new voice began speaking, off towards the side. "Oh, you two look cute." Celestia looked at the general direction the voice was coming from to see Chrysalis, who happened to be smirking at them. "Hello to you too, Chrys." "Hey." The changeling alicorn sat down in front of them, stifling a yawn. "Bored?" An unenthusiastic reply came from Celestia as she gently nuzzled her sister. "Ya." "Figured as much. I am, too; figured a walk might relieve my boredom, and it might just happen to work, assuming you two have anything to do." "Not much," Luna mumbled, "we've just been talking about what pony we'd choose if we had the ability to turn one into an alicorn like us." "Sounds interesting. Dumb, but interesting. Hmm..." Chrysalis was now deep in thought, and Celestia couldn't help but be interested in what Chrysalis had to say; after all, she had a vastly different personality compared to theirs. "I would have to say that the best overall pony for such a position would be Fley Truths." Celestia's eyes widened in surprise. That's certainly not a choice I was expecting to hear. "Fley Truths, huh? Why?" Celestia stopped messing around with Luna's mane, much to the lunar alicorn's disappointment. Chrysalis took in a deep breath before explaining her choice. "It's all a matter of perspective, really, but I think Fley Truths would be the ideal pony to chose for the job because of the fact that she already deals with the nobility and their insane requests. She also has been able to keep them in check, something that we've never been able to do and only Fancy Pants has also been able to do. Fley Truths also, like you, has a softer side, so she'd be able to easily sympathize with other ponies very well, and the large amount of bits she has doesn't hurt either, as she'd finally be able to push on through with her own projects rather than having to wait months for the chance of having it approved. Also, she makes nice waffles." "I see. I...Wait, waffles?" A nod was given from Chrysalis. "I visit her every now and then; she does take care of Quackum, you know, and offers me some food whenever I come by; when I tried her waffles, they were just heavenly, and I'm sure turning into a alicorn would make those waffles so good, it'd probably kill me with bliss." Celestia's eyes narrowed in suspicion, wondering if Chrysalis was one of them. "...Do you eat them with syrup?" With a laugh, Chrysalis shook her head. "No. Syrup is nasty." Quickly, Luna scrambled off of a now malicious Celestia who was advancing on Chrysalis, and hid behind the sofa. "You shouldn't have done that..." Author's Note I like to cuddle on sofas too Boredom is the number one killer in Equestria Twilight loves hash browns so help you if you say you don't like them in front of her No I'm not hinting that a pony is becoming an alicorn with this chapter In all honestly I truly forgot where I was going with this chapter Na-ah, Tia!I say no, Tia! Ya go down, down, down, this time I woan save ya, when ya drown, drown, drown, ya sun of a gun, sun of a gun! Spitfire slowly walked down over to Celestia's room, singing the lyrics to a song inwardly while doing so. She was here to make a few requests to Celestia, then quickly fly off to rejoin her pegasai, most of which were really green and needed to be trained. Unfortunately, her former training staff were very incompetent, lazy pegasai that didn't teach the new recruits any more than flight school did, and she wanted to fix that (the Wonderbolts couldn't have any weak fliers among their ranks!). So, without so much a warning to the trainers, she fired all of them, and while there were plenty of candidates to chose from as her new trainers throughout Equestria, she specifically wanted pegasai from the royal guard; they had rough conditioning to ensure that they could fly under rough weather when needed, strong knowledge of how to strengthen their flight capabilities, and she was sure that a few veterans would jump at the chance to 'retire' early and work as trainers for her. Jus' liek ma owld teecher used ta say, ya can't expect no gween pegsai ta bang left if ya ain't got the right pawnies to teach 'em how. She casually walked up to the doors, and pushed them open, causing one Celestia to look up from her papers with a smile on her face. "Ah, Spitfire! Just in time to save me from this dreadfully boring paperwork. How are you?" She offered a hoof towards a very comfortable chair, already placed out and ready for her (for some ponies, Celestia didn't even bother offering a chair, so it was a very high honor indeed to be offered a chair from her, and a pony would do well to make sure they kept that privilege). "Awm great, Pwincess Cerlestia, but I gotta be honest wid ya, I ain't got tiem ta waste, I got pawnies waitin' to be trained, so I gotta make dis quick befer I gotta book it outta here wid some pawnies ta train them green-wings, ya?" Spitfire took the offered chair, and sat down in it, letting out a sigh as she sunk into the very comfortable velvety chair. "Understandable, Spitfire." In all honestly, Celestia had absolutely no idea what Spitfire was saying half the time. I really must spend more time in Spitfire's hometown, though I have the feeling it will confuse me to no end and will fray my nerves to the point of insanity just trying to figure everything out. "I understand you have come here to discuss about the Wonderbolt's budget, as well as new trainers you wish to aquire for the Wonderbolts?" "Ya got thad rwight, Pwincess Cerlestia! I needa see if I can't get some moar moolah and different pawnies fer breakin' in the recruits! The old chowdaheads I had befer ain worth any of the moolah they're got paid, so I fired them! They tell me they're doin' fine! Na-ah, Tia! I wan replacements fer those chowdaheads!" ...I think she insulted the ponies that are currently in charge of training her pegasai. I think. I also think she wants some bits. Celestia pushed away her papers to look at Spitfire with a slightly confused expression on her face. "Erm...Okay, Spitfire. So...How much more 'moolah' do you need, and how many 'pawnies'?" "Ah, ya! Finaly, a pawnie thad listens to me! I need moolah thads at least numberin' at foddy thousan, and I'd liek 'bout seven pegasai vets from the royal gward!" ...I think I'm actually beginning to understand her. That's scaring me. That's scaring me really, really badly. Yet, it's not as scary like when Luna snores; now, that's scary. Celestia gently tapped on the table a few times, mulling over Spitfire's words before speaking, as she wanted to make sure she understood her words first. She spoke once she got a rough grasp of what was said. "So...'Fourty' thousand bits, and seven pegasai veterans from the royal guard is what you're asking for?" "Ya! Thad's what I need!" Spitfire put emphasis on her words by pounding the table with her right hoof once, and then nodding. "Thad's all I need fer the W-Team! I promise, Tia, you'll see resalts soon!" With a nod, Celestia pulled out a check, writing down the sum of forty thousand bits. I actually expected a lot more bits and the demand for more pegasai; it seems like Spitfire is doing very well, minus the fired trainers, and simply needs the resources to expand her operations a little bit more the way she wants it to expand. Fair enough. "Very well; I have no wish to see the team I created a long, long time ago to suddenly stop now because of a few bits not going your way, and without the right pegasai training your recruits. You can also pick any seven 'pawnies' from the royal guard that you want; though, of course, you must have their consent first. If you need anything else, Spitfire, don't be afraid to ask me, and I'll see if I can provide any help." "Awright!" Spitfire grinned as she grabbed the check, taking a moment to punch the air with a hoof. "Awh, heck yeah! I gotta find them pawnies now! Later, pwincess Tia!" Spitfire got up from her seat, and walked over to the other side of the table. Celestia was wondering what the flight captain was up to, though she found out when the pegasus reached over and pecked a kiss on her cheek. Immediately, Celestia's wings shot up, and her embarrassment reached critical levels never before personally experienced by her; all this from the rather simple action of getting kissed on the cheek. "Thanks, luv! I can use this moolah to get the W-Team back on track!" Just as quickly as the kiss happened, Spitfire was walking out towards the door, leaving behind a red-faced, flabbergasted Celestia behind, who was trying to piece together what just happened. She was still sitting like that when Luna came by to check up on her, complaining that her 'fat-flanked sun' wasn't moving for her moon. Author's Note Hi Spitfire Celestia is confused How do you write Boston accents I swear it's so difficult and I seriously don't mean to offend any of you true Bostonians with this, it's just how I envision Spitfire as I might Might Maybe Perhaps Make SpitTia shipping Only because it feels so right to me But for the love of god that accent is going to be hard to write consistantly I thought it was safe, Lulu!I thought it was safe, Lulu! I'm stupid. Really, really stupid. The negative thought was from Chrysalis, who was sitting in a jail cell due to her actions earlier. She had tried to plead with Elhaym, but the guard (understandably) couldn't simply flat-out refuse to not imprison her, as doing so would have made ponies believe the princesses were above the law. Well, technically, they were, but still, it wouldn't do much good for ponies to think that they might get shot by a massive ball of confetti out of nowhere, which was what happened to Shining Armour. Okay, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to see if it worked, but that pink mare told me it was safe to fire it! Gah... A tinkling noise alerted her; it seemed to have been something that was dropped in her cell (which was very, very comfortable; after all, all ponies were innocent until proven guilty, and nopony wanted to live in a cell that was unclean). Unfortunately, so, too, was the guard alerted to the noise, and he turned around with a questioning look in his eyes. "You hear that?" "Yes." She looked around her cell, and found a piece of paper folded in half, with a paperclip attached to it, which she assumed made the noise. Chrysalis picked up the piece of paper, unfolded it, and took a look at it. Once she did, looked up at the ceiling, confusing the guard. "What did the note say?" "Look up." As the guard followed Chrysalis' gaze, an inky black...Something that vaguely looked like a very large pony dropped to the floor, and knocked out the guard with a quick slap (which ended up hurtling him through a wall). Chrysalis winced at the bruises and soreness the guard was sure to experience in the morning, and she looked at the shifting black mass that took out the guard. "Hi Luna." The dark, pony-like mass recoiled, as if struck, and spoke in a whining tone. "Drat! How did you know it was me?! I-" "Actually, I didn't; I just figured that if somepony could cast a spell like...That, it would be you or Moonie." "Hmph. I spent lots of time making sure I couldn't be recognized, too!" The inky darkness that surrounded Luna dissipated, revealing herself truly, and she looked at Chrysalis with a frown. "Why exactly did you fire a massive ball of confetti at Shining Armour? From a cannon, no less?!" I remember it like it just happened a few hours ago... "I thought it was safe, Lulu! Pinkie Pie is evil. Very, very evil." "Right, so...Why did you ask me to come down to one of the guard stations, why are you showing a cannon to me, and why is there a pink mare in what seems to be poorly restrictive cuffs bouncing around the place?" A Curious Chrysalis asked, as Shining Armour was escorting a pink mare that seemed happy, for whatever reason. "I needed you here to help me with this; Pinkie Pie here was seen toting around a cannon to celebrate-" "A guard named Elhaym's birthday!" Pinkie Pie chirped up, interrupting Shining Armour, who sighed, presumably from having to escort her. "I really wanted to surprise her but for some reason I forgot to put a party cannon in Canterlot so I began dragging one here and then Twilight's brother stopped me and then began escorting me here and oh wow Canterlot looks so nice I should really throw more parties here and well while I was thinking about how much Celestia has a crush on Spitfire and then I got arrested but I'm sure nothing bad will happen to me because I'm here to make everypony happy especially Elhaym but I have to follow the law and so here I am!" Chrysalis stared blankly at Pinkie Pie for a long moment before turning over to Shining Armour. "Uh...?" The most Chrysalis got from Shining Armour was a shrug. "I don't know either. In any case, I need to fill out some paperwork; I believe this is Miss Pie's first trip to a prison cell, and while I don't want to do this, I really can't ignore the fact that she brought in a cannon in Canterlot. Unfortunately, there's no official papers here, so I have to wait for a guard to come by here with the required papers." Very well then; I know I wouldn't sleep well at night if ponies were bringing in cannons, so I suppose this is necessary, even though she's an Element of Harmony. Chrysalis mused, as she studied the pink mare. She seemed happy, even though she was about to earn some time in a cell. How could she be so happy at a time like this? Suddenly, out of nowhere, a voice entered her thoughts. It's because these cells are really comfortable and I've been in them before! W-What?! Who is this?! It's Pinkie Pie, silly! Chrysalis was getting more confused and scared with every moment she was spending with the pink mare. How are you speaking to me?! I thought telepathy was something only a few select unicorns and us alicorns could do, and I know I didn't open a focus link with you! Tele-what? Focus-huh? That's silly, like you! I think I'm going to get a headache. Don't! Headaches are bad, and...Omigosh omigosh omigosh she's coming she's coming! ...Who's coming? Elhaym, Elhaym! She's bringing in a stack of papers and...Omigosh, I can't operate the cannon like this! I need you to do it! Please! What?! No! There's no way I'm firing that cann- Chrysalis was interrupted as she suddenly felt what it was like to be the spam folder for an email address. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! Wanting to get rid of the annoying voice in her head, she had no choice but to comply with Pinkie Pie's insistent whining, and she punched the cannon, activating it. Many things happened. The door to the guard house opened, showing Elhaym bringing in a stack of papers. "I got the pa-" Her voice was cut off by a large boom as the cannon exploded, hurtling a giant mass of confetti at Shining Armour, propelling him through the guard house and out into the street, where many sharp gasps and screaming was heard. Pinkie Pie jumped for joy, beginning to sing a happy birthday song for a throughly confused Elhaym, and Chrysalis slumped over on the cannon, rubbing the base of her horn, trying to relieve herself of the massive headache she got. "...And so, that is why I'm here, Lulu." The lunar alicorn nodded slowly, and looked around the cells, confused. "I see. Where, though, is Pinkie Pie?" Chrysalis vaguely waved a hoof behind her. "She's in a maximum security cell a few blocks away." "No I'm not, I'm right here!" Neither Chrysalis nor Luna were surprised to see Pinkie Pie, and Luna sighed. "Right, well...Pinkie Pie, can you return to your cell for a few more days?" "Okay!" Pinkie Pie flashed a giant smile at them before walking away, leaving the two alicorns (and a giant guard-shaped hole in the wall) alone. There was a brief moment of silence before Chrysalis tapped the bars to her cell, getting Luna's attention. "So. Are you going to free me, or not?" "Actually I just wanted to sit here and laugh at you for getting arrested." Chrysalis narrowed her eyes as Luna, true to her word, began laughing at her. Just wait... Author's Note Requested by SmirkyThread Pinkie Pie is actually evil Sorry for the coloured text but I thought it got a little confusing trying to tell which one was Pinkie Pie and Chrysalis, so I personally did that for my own benefit, sorry Pour nameless guard that was guarding Chrysalis, poor Shining Armour How does everything in Equestria work by punching it I don't understand I made a promise, Tia! (Colgate Arc)I promised, Tia! (Colgate Arc) ...Ponyville. Let's see...From Pinkie's instructions after I bribed her with a few dozen cakes...Take a left, go down the street...Pass the golden statue of Rainbow Dash which I have absolutely no memory of it ever being there...Ah! This must be where they're living in. Celestia was currently in a changed form, which was a much smaller pegasus, and gone was her rainbow mane (having used normal shampoo for once instead of the poison joke shampoo that usually made her hair turn into a rainbow colour), leaving her behind with a pink mane. Her horn was carefully hidden away with magic, and it would take a pony like Twilight Sparkle to figure out it was Celestia, and even then, only if they scanned her with magic. Her disguise hadn't failed yet, and for that, she was glad, as she didn't want anypony knowing that royalty was within the vicinity. I might change back into my true form later, once this is all done, though; I like the royal treatment at bakeries, especially Sugarcube Corner. Before she decided on entering the home where Colgate and Lyra supposedly lived in, she took a moment to look over the choice of housing they chose to reside in. It's...Interesting taste in terms of house design, I have to say, though that pink flamingo is giving me the creeps. Oh well, you're not here to rate their home design, so let's see if they're inside! Raising her hoof, Celestia knocked on the door a few times. On the fifth knock, the door opened, and her hoof almost hit a blue mare in the face, who was looking at her with confusion, but her greeting was warm, if slightly wary. "Hi! My name's Colgate, what can I do for you?" The pony in front of Celestia confirmed all of her suspicions, and she smiled widely, happy that her search was at an end. ...Oh, Faust, it really is her, and if Lyra is who I think it is... Celestia motioned Colgate to come closer; the two ponies closed the small gap between them, and only then did Celestia murmur one word, in a very low tone of voice. "Minuette." Immediately, Colgate gasped softly, and then whispered at Celestia. "Come inside, living room, sit down, questions, now." Taking the offer, Celestia walked inside of the home, just before the door was shut and locked. Playing along with Colgate, Celestia walked on over to the living room, where she sat down on a rather comfortable sofa. There was the smell of fish stew and baked potatoes in the air, and it danced around Celestia's nose, causing her to give a deep sigh of appreciation for good cooking. Colgate didn't seem to notice the smell, as she sat down across from Celestia, and offered her a slight smile, which was returned. "I...I have to say, Celestia...I wasn't expecting you to...Find me and Lyra so quickly." A voice, not Celestia's, rang out from the kitchen. "Waaaaaait wait wait wait, Celestia's here?" The mentioned alicorn (now pegasus but really isn't) turned around to see Lyra emerge from the kitchen (with a 'kiss the cook' apron on), looking at the pegasus with a raised eyebrow. With a grin, Celestia winked at her. "Heartstrings." The mint-green unicorn recoiled as if she was struck, and then grinned at Celestia widely. "Tia! Oh, it's been so long, and unfortunately, it'll be a little bit longer! Sorry, but I don't want lunch to burn!" Just like that, Lyra was back in the kitchen, monitoring the cooking. With a chuckle, Colgate relaxed slightly, and winked at Celestia. "Just like Heartstrings to do something like that. You know, I was wondering when you would show up for us; I nearly lost hope when the Elements of Harmony were found before you found us!" Deep inside, Celestia knew that while Colgate's words were meant to be light and playful teasing, she couldn't help but feel bad for abandoning them. "I-I'm sorry, Colgate, I-" "Shh." Colgate walked over to sit down next to Celestia, and gently nuzzled her in an attempt to comfort her. "Call me Minuette. It's who I am, and what I am. We don't blame you for not trying to find us, as we've seen just how rocky your rule could be when Luna was...Missing. You didn't have time for us, and while it hurts, we know that it was in the best interests of Equestria." Nodding slowly at Minuette, Celestia remembered just how difficult things were back then. "Yes...It was a very hard time for me. Minuette, I know I should feel bad for asking this, especially since Blueblood more or less explained something that I know that only you could have done, but, you have been protecting Twilight Sparkle and her friends with Heartstings' help, right?" "Of course, and with the help of some others, as well! I suppose the way Blueblood described the incident had you curious enough to seek us out, but yes, we have been protecting your student and her friends from threats; at least, whenever we can. It's our duty, after all." "That's all I can ever ask from you." Celestia paused, then gently nuzzled Minuette back, causing the unicorn to blush wildly. "Thank you for guarding them when I myself cannot. Consider your debt paid, and, if you wish, I can release the burden I have placed on you." Minuette shook her head, which surprised Celestia. "No, Tia; I do not wish for that to happen! In fact, I want to extend my contract with you, and so does Heartstrings!" Immediately, Heartstrings' voice came from the kitchen, confirming Minuette's words. "That's right, Tia, I also want my contract to exte- OW THAT'S HOT." Celestia and Minuette winced as they heard glass shatter. "Are you alright, Heartstrings?" Minuette called out, worried about her, "I can come over and help you with whatever you're doing wrong." "I'm fine! I'm also not doing anything wrong!" As Celestia put aside Heartstings' trouble in the kitchen beside her, she focused her attention on Minuette's words. Almost every pony I know of that has been put under this contract has eagerly relinquished their duties to the Elements of Harmony, so why are these two the exception? I had a few other guardians in mind, as well... "I...Well, this is new. Why do you not want your duties to be over? I can't imagine it being easy." "That's the thing. We know it isn't easy." Both Minuette and Celestia looked up to see Heartstrings (minus one apron), and she walked over to the two, sitting down on the other side of Celestia. "Food's done, and it's totally not burnt. Nope. Anyway, we know that we don't have the easiest lifestyle around, but we also know it's not easy for you, Celestia, to have to pick new ponies and teach them how to defend the Elements of Harmony with the tools they have without drawing attention to themselves, though Minuette failed there." "Hey!" Minuette complained, pouting at Heartstrings. "You try when your talent is turning back the clock, but not ponies minds!" "You're not subtle, like me," Heartstrings said with a grin, "Celestia must have forgotten something when she made you the pony of time." Celestia frowned slightly, remembering that she indeed forgot to be very specific when assigning Minuette her powers. "Erm...Yeah...Regardless, your only defense is the fact that it will take time for me to train guards?" Minuette interrupted her. "No, Celestia, it's not just that; it's the fact that we actually do genuinely enjoy our job, and because of the fact that there are too many of us as it is right now. The more ponies that you assign to the Elements of Harmony, the more chances of failure you get from each pony not doing their job correctly." "You've mentioned 'others' before; are they other ponies under the same contract as you and Heartstrings?" Minuette paused, then nodded slowly. "That is correct. They are the ones who are helping us." Heartstrings spoke up, with a worried look on her face. "Tia, they are still loyal to you, they simply aren't as...'Active' as we are, as they need to keep up appearances with what they have chosen as their occupation. I hope you understand." ...I see. Before asking her next question, Celestia took a moment to admire Minuette and Heartstrings; they were still loyal to her, even though they could have misused their powers and create a harder time for her, but instead, they merely kept to themselves, waiting, all this time, for her. "There...Is something I want to ask you and Lyra about. What happened, a thousand years ago?" Minuette hesitated in giving an answer, looking over at Heartstings, who nodded once. The nod was all Minuette needed to continue. "I made a promise, Tia! I made a promise, and I've kept it ever since, with Lyra helping me. I'm now ready to fulfill that promise, if you'll listen." "Of course." Author's Note Yes I roped Lyra into this Yes why not I like the idea of them being under contract for something Mini-arc is over in one more chapter I think To explain in greater detail, Colgate is the pony of time, though she can only change so much (her limit is being able to go back in time at a maximum of fifty-nine minutes, hence her name), and Lyra is the pony of the heart, who can pull at the heart's 'strings' in an attempt to gently guide a pony's heart in the right direction, hence her name Yes more stupid headcanon yay This is embarrassing, Lulu!This is embarrassing, Lulu! Where is Cadence? I haven't seen her around all day. With puzzlement, Luna was wandering around a section of the castle that was reserved entirely for guests, trying to find where Cadence was residing. She had wanted to talk with the pink alicorn, wanting to tell her of a new, mandatory meeting she had to go to, though she couldn't find her anywhere. That might change soon, though, as she was fast-approaching the last guest room, and she knew that with any luck (though right now she hardly considered herself 'lucky') gained out of searching through roughly five-hundred and twenty rooms, Cadence would be in the last one. She was about to open the door when she heard a loud thump, followed by the giggling of two ponies; curious, Luna opened the door to witness Cadence on top of Chrysalis. Luna was beginning to think she stumbled onto something she probably shouldn't have when Chrysalis looked up at her, and stopped her laughter, suddenly blushing. "A-Ah...Ah...This is embarrassing, Lulu! Please don't tell Tia! Lock the door too, please!" Cadence wrapped her hooves around Chrysalis' neck, laughing as she squeezed the poor changeling underneath her. "Oh, don't be silly, Chrys, this is nothing to get embarrassed over! It's just a little cuddle-wuddle-snuggle with a friend!" I'm not particularly sure what's going on, but the way Cadence is talking makes me want to throw up, repeatedly. Luna stepped inside the room, closed the door, then locked it, for Chrysalis' benefit. "Err. Do I even want to know why you two are on the floor, cuddling with each other?" Quickly, Chrysalis answered, short and to the point. "No!" On the other hoof, Cadence giggled, and winked at Luna. "Don't worry, auntie, now this is the story all about how Chrysalis got all snuggled up, it'll take just a minute so just sit right there and I'll tell you all about that blush on her face!" ...Okay. Luna sat down in front of Cadence, who then began to recite what happened, much to Chrysalis' discomfort (as she was still underneath the pink alicorn). "Ugh. Tia is sleeping, and Lulu is busy trying to figure out if the moon is made of cheese. Why, I don't know, but she's gone, and it's just us two." Chrysalis groaned, as she sat down lazily in a chair across from Cadence, who was doing a little light reading by going through a picture book. "Why are you reading that, anyway? It's for little foals, and last time I checked, you're a fully-grown alicorn." Cadence looked up with a smile. "I read these because I want to make sure I like it! I learned that if I didn't like a picture book I was reading to a little foal that I'm taking care of, such as Twilight, I wouldn't have enjoyed story-time as much as I would have if I did pick a story that I like!" "...So you're saying that you pick stories that you like, thus unintentionally guiding the foal you're taking care of to those particular stories? So, if I were to read nothing but princess stories to a foal, would I be giving them false dreams of becoming a princess?" "Oh, pfft, you're looking waaaaaay too into this! Reality will hit sooner or later! Or never, when you look at Lulu. Cheese, on the moon, ha!" Cadence went back into her book, leaving Chrysalis bored again without a conversation partner or anything to do. Not wanting to die of boredom, Chrysalis got up off from the chair, and settled down next to Cadence. The action was barely registered by the pink alicorn, whose attention was still on the picture book, and the most she did in response was to flutter her wings slightly. Hmm...I wonder... Chrysalis took a moment to look at Cadence, who continued to read the picture book. Her ability to concentrate on the most mundane things impressed Chrysalis. Right now, Chrysalis was drawing a blank on what she could do to distract Cadence; after all, there was only so much she could do. Her gaze tilted up slightly, and noticed that Cadence's ears were twitching slightly, which gave her a slightly disturbing but practically sure-fire way of getting Cadence's attention. A few moments of thinking passed before Chrysalis decided that nothing could really go wrong, and so, she reached up with her muzzle to gently bite on Cadence's right ear. The results were near instantantous as Cadence suddenly shuddered violently under the gentle bite, causing Chrysalis to stop biting, afraid that Cadence might try to floor her. Cadence turned her head around to look at Chrysalis with a look of bewilderment. "I never knew you were the snuggly type, Chrys!" What. I just wanted to bring your attention off from the book and find something to do with me! "I'm not, Caddy, I-" "Denial, huh?! Don't worry, as the princess of love, I can show you just how fun snuggling can be, especially with somepony you know!" Sensing that things were about to go horribly wrong for her, Chrysalis backed up away slowly from Cadence. "I-It's fine, Caddy! You don't have to show me!" Her words didn't dissuade Cadence's mind, and the pink alicorn pounced on top of Chrysalis and began tickling her, causing Chrysalis to giggle loudly, which Cadence soon joined in with, enjoying the forced snuggling. Nice one, Chrys. Luna couldn't help but snicker at Chrysalis, who glared at her. "Well...Snnrk...I just wanted to tell you, Caddy, that you have a meeting right after breakfast tomorrow, and it's mandatory, so please don't try to skip out." Cadence nodded slowly with a frown, not enjoying that particular bit of news. "Aw...That's a bummer. Is there anything else that you need to tell me?" "Other than that the meeting is about cake, no, that'll be all. Oh, and Chrys? Don't worry, I'll keep this...'Incident' away from Tia's ears. I'm sure that's satisfactory for you?" You have no idea, Lulu. Chrysalis gave the smallest of nods to Luna. "Very much so." Satisfied, Luna walked outside of the room, having told Cadence of a slight change in plans with the bonus of seeing Chrysalis so embarrassed. After Chrysalis locked the door after her with her magic, she sighed explosively. "I wish I knew that biting your right ear would make you all snuggly." "Oh, this is nothing! You should bite my left ea-" "NO." Author's Note Luna catches them in the naughty Ear-bites solve everything Chrysalis gets more than she bargained for Luna's mission to see if the moon was made of cheese was not successful Here have a picture Ew, ew, ew, Tia!Ew, ew, ew, Tia! This would be the last thing I would be doing with the last pony that would cross my mind in the last place that I would chose while eating the last thing I'd chose to eat while...Being the first time I've actually had fun going out on a date with a pony that for the first time isn't intimidated to heck by me! The positive thought was from Celestia, who was currently residing in Spitfire's cloud-mansion, watching old kung-fu movies with her while eating deep-fried sushi (she didn't understand why Spitfire would ever deep-fry something that was supposed to be eaten raw, but the results were delicious, unhealthy and a delight to crunch in-between her teeth) and, of course, enjoying herself, which was very refreshing and a nice change to the usual antics that went on with her sister, Chrysalis, Nightmare Moon and sometimes Cadence. Speaking of which, she dumped quite a bit of work on Luna, but it wasn't anything too difficult, mostly just a few signatures that could or could not be given to some petitions. After the little kiss on the cheek earlier when Spitfire had asked for some extra bits for the Wonderbolts, Celestia had cornered Spitfire a few days later, and confessed to her that she had a slight interest with her after receiving said kiss. Amazingly, Spitfire merely grinned, and asked her out on a date to get to know her a little better, to which Celestia immediately accepted. It went off well, and now the two were simply hanging out in Spitfire's mansion, though in all honesty, Celestia was glad, as she wasn't sure if she wanted any of the other alicorns to know that she was now dating Spitfire (though she had a suspicion that Luna knew). "Awwh, yeah, it don't get no better than dat, Tia! Kung-fu movies are always da best things to watch while eatin' deep-fried chop-suey!" "Ya, Spit, it's nice seein' these pawnies ge-" Spitfire immediately placed a hoof on Celestia's mouth, and shook her head slowly with disappointment and dismay. "Tia, I luv ya, hun, but fer Faust's sake, dun try agin." Now, in an attempt to connect with Spitfire better, Celestia had begun to try speaking the way the captain of the Wonderbolts spoke like, and she thought she was doing fine. Unfortunately, in practice, with Celestia speaking properly most of her life (which was countless years), the attempt to change from properly speaking to broken Equestrian that was vaguely able to be understood was nigh impossible for the alicorn. She tried, and Spitfire immediately stopped her before any more damage could be done. Even so, Lives were forever changed when Celestia tried talking, and some ponies would never again look at her the same way again. Slowly, Spitfire removed her hoof from Celestia's mouth, and the princess smiled sheepishly at her. "...Sorry, Spitfire." "It's okay, luv, ya tried. Badly, but ya tried." Just as the protagonist (Berry Punch the drunken) of the kung-fu movie was about to face off against the antagonist (Ditsy Doo the invincible), one of Spitfire's servants began walking up to the two. Spitfire saw the servant approaching them, and paused the movie. "Luv, can ya get more sushi out fer me while I attend to whaeva this servant needs?" "Of course, Spitfire." Celestia gave Spitfire a kiss on the cheek, and the pegasus just managed to keep her blush under control as the alicorn left to travel down into the kitchens. Once she was out of sight, she turned over to her servant, and coughed. "Ya?" "Excuse me, mistress, but you have another guest waiting outside. Shall I admit them in or chase them off with a broomstick?" Spitfire narrowed her eyes slightly. "Is it ma sister Rainbaw Das agin, demandin' she gets in tha W-Team n' wants 'er Lulu plushie back?" "No, mistress, it's not your sister, but it is rather ironic that you mention your sister's plushie, as at our door is indeed princess Luna, Spitfire." "Aw, hell, let 'er in! I ain't makin' Tia's sister wait!" "Very well, mistress." The servant bowed before walking off, and Spitfire walked back over to the sofa, awaiting Celestia to return with the sushi, and for princess Luna to arrive. Huh. Neva though I'd be datin' a princess, but it's...Nice. She's like Fley Truths, tho not as scary... Spitfire began musing over past ex's, most of which happened to be unicorns. I wondah what Twi would say if she saw me n' Tia tahgether...It's too bad me n' Twi didn't hit it off tha great...Ah well, she's a bookie, I can't handle her. The faint sound of hooves hitting the floor caused her to turn her head around, and Spitfire watched as Luna made her way over to her. "Hey-o Loony!" "Hello Spit!" Luna smiled; Spitfire was one of the few ponies that wasn't so easily intimidated by her. "I understand Tia is here?" "Ya, we've been watchin' a kung-fu movie while eatin' deep-fried sushi!" ...You...Deep-fry sushi? Luna tried to comprehend what Spitfire said before sighing. Spitfire's...Unique, I have to say that much. "I...See. Well, Spitfire, I've come to tell Tia that it's almost time for her to lower the sun, but I don't see her anywhere with you. Where is she?" "Alright, Spitfire, I got the sushi! Oh, hi Lulu." "Thar she is, Lulu!" Spitfire grinned as she stepped up to Celestia and gave her a kiss on the cheek before taking the plate of deep-fried sushi from her. "Thanks, luv!" A small smile and slight blush was on Celestia's face from the kiss, and she was about to comment on it, Luna made a very inappropriate noise, causing Celestia to look at her sister with worry. "Is something wrong, Lulu?" "Yes! Ew, ew, ew, Tia! You two are...Dating?!" Unfortunately for Luna, a slight nod from her sister told her everything she needed to know (even though she never wanted to know in the first place). "That's gross!" Spitfire was openly frowning at Luna now, wondering why she was suddenly against the two. "There a prob', Lulu?" Luna made a face, and nodded furiously. "Yes! There's nothing as disgusting as knowing that your older sister is going out on a date with somepony!" With a sigh, Celestia gently nuzzled Spitfire (ignoring the fact that Luna was pointedly looking away). "I'll be back sometime tomorrow, Spitfire, if I can make some time." "Eh, no worries, luv! Ta-ta!" Spitfire waved a hoof in dismissal, and Celestia began walking out with Luna, who was glaring at her. Sighing, Spitfire resumed the movie, watching as Ditsy Doo suplexed Berry Punch to the ground. Ouch. That's gotta hurt. Not three seconds after they left the mansion, Luna cuffed Celestia over the head. "Tia, I can't believe you! You dumped all that work on me to go on a date with Spitfire!" Celestia was quite frankly surprised that Luna even mentioned the work, for she forgot all about it after seeing Berry Punch headbutt Ditsy Doo. "Oh, you're done with all the work?" Luna shook her head. "No, I dumped it on Bluey and Chrys. That's not the point, though! The point is, it's weird to see you dating somepony! You're my sister!" Celestia wasn't quite sure what Luna was getting at. "So?" A groan left Luna, who was waving her hooves around in agitation. "It's gross! I don't want to see you in the future getting lovey-dovey with Spitfire, making doe eyes at each other and...Urrgh, calling each other pet names! The thought of it makes me want to throw up!" "...Then why haven't you?" "What?" You aren't saying that... "We already make doe eyes at each other, call each other pet names, and some other stuff." A poor choice of words on Celestia's part, as she had to explain to Applejack why pony-vomit suddenly rained down from the sky upon her. Author's Note Commence the SpitTia shipping I kind of want to keep the accent but it's getting painful to write It was never this hard with the pirate kitchen worker Yes I'm having Spitfire and 'Rainbaw Das' as sisters, just like Vinyl is sisters with Rarity Berry Punch and Ditsy Doo are professional actors but they forgot it was supposed to be kung-fu and not wrestling Turn it DOWN, Lulu!Turn it DOWN, Lulu! Now, I haven't questioned my sister's music choices...Too much. Sure, some of it is annoying, but it's fine for the most part, and I have even enjoyed some of what she has found and shared with me; it's a rather nice change to what I usually listen to. However, when she's blasting some very loud 'rock' music around the castle at the sound levels that are higher than a sonic rainboom, there's a problem, and one that threatens to cause me to go deaf. My poor ears cannot handle this noisy assault any longer so yes, I must unfortunately be a killjoy; I must stop my sister from destroying our second castle with her music! ...Even though it sounds nice. I like nice music. A somewhat determined Celestia (with extreme noise-cancelling earmuffs mounted on her ears, which, while stopped most of the noise, didn't stop the feeling of wading through a sea of sound) was struggling to walk to Luna's room, and indeed, it almost felt like having her face forced to the floor from the sheer intensity of the music. I have to admit, the song doesn't sound bad; BUT COME ON, IT'S TOO LOUD FOR ANYPONY TO SERIOUSLY APPRECIATE THE MUSIC. Luna's lucky there's plenty of these earmuffs to go around for all the ponies working here, because I'm sure they'd have gone deaf by now. Celestia struggled against the immense wall of sound when she noticed that something was different. It wasn't immediately obvious to her, though, until she realized that she was no longer walking through what felt like jelly; it took a moment for Celestia to figure out what it was, after she slowly pulled her earmuffs off. There was no music. It wasn't her earmuffs blocking out the sound, because there was no sound at all to be heard anywhere. Seizing the opportunity, Celestia sprinted towards Luna's room, taking the most of the temporary break in music to get closer to the madness. Unfortunately, this break was very, very short, as the music blared outwards again, causing Celestia to cringe as the wall of sound came back, giving back the feeling of wading through a sea of sound. Ugh! I'm just a few steps away from the door! Come on! Why would you play music this loud, Lulu?! As fate would have it, the song currently playing was now unintentionally mocking her. Either way, it makes ya mad! ...Am I being mocked right now?! Okay, that is it! Perfectly timed song lyrics that make fun of my rage, though unintentional as it may be, are very infuriating for me! With renewed determination, Celestia pushed through the barrier of sound, slowly gaining ground, when suddenly, the door to Luna's room was blown off its hinges, hurtling towards Celestia, who closed her eyes and braced herself, not wanting to witness what was going to impact her. Fittingly, the appropriate song lyric accompanied the door, 'you might as well ask for the door, end over end'. A world of pain met Celestia's head, and stayed there; she wanted to stop and lick her wounds, but Luna was about to bring down the whole castle on top of them if she didn't stop playing her music. With a groan, Celestia opened her eyes, and was confused when all she saw was brown. Huh. I...Oh, for Faust's sake, I now have door impaled on my horn! Just you wait, Lulu! With grim determination, Celestia (and the door impaled on her horn which was causing extreme stress) managed to enter Luna's room (how, Celestia never figured out, but she never wanted to remember this incident anyway). She immediately yelled at her sister, hoping that the sound of her voice would drown out the music. "Turn it DOWN, Lulu!" Unfortunately, her command was unheeded by her sister, who...Seemed to be sleeping. Sleeping. With music being played that was louder than a jet engine. I swear, Lulu, I...I...Okay, now, this is just getting absolutely ridiculous and dumb. Inside Luna's room was Chrysalis and Cadence, who were listening to their own music on their own iHOOF's while playing patty-cake (and having not even notice Celestia enter the room), which only served to infuriate Celestia more. As Celestia continued walking over to Luna, who was the more serious offender here (and had gigantic sub-woofers broadcasting the music), she noticed something that finally pushed her over the limit. There was a plug that wasn't plugged in that was just outside one of the ports. Her gaze followed the wiring of the plug, where it eventually led to Luna's headphones. They weren't plugged in. Celestia felt the last of her sanity slip away as she stared at her snoozing sister, then at Chrysalis and Cadence. Suddenly overcome by a bout of laughter, Celestia grinned manically, and tore out the power plug from Luna's speakers, which effectively silenced the music; the Faust-Forsaken music that was playing stopped. It also happened to wake up Luna with a snort. "Why has the music stopped playing?! T-Tia?! What are you doing here?! ...And why is there a door impaled on your head?" "...Music...Is...Too loud..." Although Luna couldn't see Celestia's facial expression (owing to the door on her head), Celestia had a look of extreme displeasure on her face, the kind that literally screamed 'don't push your luck'. Unfortunately for Luna, she didn't know this, and so she suffered the consequences. "Is that what you're really jawing at me about? Pfft! Music too loud. You're just trying to limit my freedom! My headphones are clearly plugged in!" Celestia's next words caused a chill to go down Luna's spine. "Headphones...Weren't...Plugged in...I'm going to...Kill you..." Luna looked down at her headphone jack and indeed saw that her headphones weren't plugged in at all. The fact that she was playing her music on the sound setting 'louder than a jet engine' probably didn't help either, and neither did the fact that her sister was breathing heavily and with what seemed to be an amazing desire to murder her literally radiating off from her. Luna giggled uncomfortably for a moment before dashing off, followed by Celestia screaming at her. "I'M GOING TO BLOODY MURDER YOU, LULU!" As the two sisters left the room, both of them screaming for entirely different reasons, Chrysalis took off her headphones, and Cadence followed suit a few seconds later. "Did you hear something, Caddy? Could've sworn I heard something." Cadence merely shrugged, looking around Luna's room for signs of what may have happened. "I'm not exactly sure what it was you heard, but I can guess. Luna's gone, and so is the door." Chrysalis rolled her eyes, and clapped her hooves once. "Tia?" "Tia." With a nod, Chrysalis began the motions of placing her headphones back on. "Ah, Tia." Swiftly, a pink hoof reached out to stop Chrysalis from completing her desired action. "I just said it was Tia." "...I know you said Tia." Chrysalis once again tried to put her headphones back on, though she was stopped once again by Cadence. "Then stop saying Tia!" "No! You stop saying Tia!" The beginnings of a bitter battle between Chrysalis and Cadence surfaced as the two prepared to engage in a game of extreme patty-cake. Author's Note Requested (somewhat) by Granitecrab, I didn't use the bands you listed but I searched around the genre and found Chevelle, which I quite enjoy now (at least I don't think you mentioned Chevelle, I'm too lazy to find the comment again) Neither did I use the idea of them arguing about bands but I do intend on doing that in a later chapter Luna also enjoys Chevelle, she must take after me Ever forget to plug in your headphones I've fulfilled that promise, Tia! (Colgate Arc)I've fulfilled that promise, Tia! (Colgate Arc) Tension was everywhere; in the air, ponies, and especially in us ponies under the contract, Tia. You assigned a great many of us to look after the Elements of Harmony, and while that helped in terms of giving us less duties, it also meant that you were spending less time training each pony, to the point where you only gave ponies under your contract the most basic battle-practice instead of teaching them the history of their position and the more advanced techniques of war, which most likely was the reason so many of us fell that day. Heartstrings and I were guarding the Elements at the time. I was taking a little nap when... "Minuette." The sound of her partner's voice caused Minuette to look up with a yawn, who watched as Lyra placed down her crossword puzzle. "Yes, Heartstrings?" Instead of replying, Heartstrings waved a hoof at two ponies who were walking up towards them. Unfortunately, Minuette's eyesight was blurred slightly from her nap. With a sigh, Minuette rubbed at her eyes to clearly see two other ponies, and judging by the fact that she had not seen these ones, new ones that had been trained by Celestia and put under the contract. Again. Why, exactly, are you training so many ponies? One would think that you were raising your own private army, Tia. Despite her own personal thoughts on the matter, she knew that it did not matter in the long run; she was nothing but a glorified guard, and right now, until these two checked out, they were potential threats to the twin thrones of Equestria and the Elements of Harmony. "Halt. Identification?" Both of the ponies spoke softly in unison the traditional contract oath and code that was their (rather long-winded) form of identification. "To serve, and only serve the princesses of Equestria and the Elements of Harmony, is my eternal vow, and nothing but death may tear us from it. Be it rain, snow, or a threat to all that Equestria holds dear, the enemies that wish us harm will have to go through us, first. We are the first and last line of defense, the first ones into danger, and the last ones out of it. We are true. We are pure. We are eternal." Despite the code being spoken perfectly, Minuette couldn't help but think that they did something wrong, so she opened up a telepathic link with her partner. I'm bothered. Sure, there's no hesitation in the reply, it was perfectly synchronized, and they don't look shifty, though something still feels off. What think you, Heartstrings? I think them fine to me, Minuette. Green, obviously, like the colour of my fur, as well as looking like the kind of ponies that I'd find in a street gang rather than contracted ponies like us, but they pass. Barely. You probably are just accustomed to seeing high-class ponies and forgot what the riff-raff looked like on the street. I know I haven't. Despite your cruel words about the unfortunate ponies on the street and the passive-aggressive baiting you're giving me, I concur with your analysis. Minuette yawned again, softly before smiling at the two ponies; first impressions to rookies were very important, after all. "Welcome, comrades. Here to relieve a pair of bored ponies from guard duty?" The mare on the left nodded slowly, and spoke in a voice that Minuette would forever wonder about how she ever managed to speak the oath without having any sign of her accent bleeding through. "Ya. Name iz Cloud Kickah. Mare next ta me is Sassyflash." A groan came from the turquoise pony. "It's 'Sassaflash', not 'Sassyflash'." Cloud Kicker cuffed Sassaflash over the ear with a scowl on her face. "Whaeva, ya try speakin' wid mah accent. N' way, we be takin' over a pair of ya posts, n' I'd be glad ta take yers, Minuette, Heartstings. I've gone and done a 'lil research on ya two; yew two are almost due fer 'retirement'. Hows it feel?" Ah; a pony that does some research on their fellow guardians a bit. I'm glad we aren't leaving the Eternal guard in the hooves of total idiots and rookies. "It'll be nice," Minuette spoke softly, dreaming of the day where she and Heartstrings could live a normal life. "I have seen so many new things over the past one-hundred years, and while I thank Celestia and Luna for taking me in, introducing to my partner Heartstrings, and braving the perils that have plagued Equestria, I think it's time that I finally live my own life, experiencing the things that other ponies can that I myself cannot." Heartstings chirped in, eager to add her input. "Oh, yes, it will be wonderful to finally be a normal pony, although I have no wish to be back on the streets, where the princesses found me." The mare nodded, taking the time to mull over the answers before speaking. "I see. Well, Sassyflash, let's g-" Cloud Kicker never finished that sentence because a giant explosion occurred, blowing open a hole in the ceiling and instinctively lowering all four ponies into battle-ready stances. What they didn't expect to see, though, was a pair of battered, singed, and wounded ponies fall down from the ceiling. Immediately, all four ponies scrambled up to them, and Minuette realized that these ponies were under the same contract that she and Heartstrings were under. Oh, Faust; this doesn't look too good. "Heartstings, condition, stat!" "Waaaay ahead of you. They're alive, but barely. Unconscious. Can survive to live another day; these ponies are tough." Heartstrings looked up at the gaping hole in the ceiling, frowning slightly. "A few days rest and magical healing influence should fix them up." ...Alright, that's reassuring...Somewhat. But why was there an explosion, and a pair of contracted ponies that seem to be suffering from the result of it? Minuette's question was answered as two alicorns suddenly crashed through the same ceiling that the two ponies came through, causing the four guardians to quickly back up towards the Elements of Harmony (with Cloudkicker and Sassaflash carrying the two unconscious guards upon their backs). The two sisters were breathing heavily, and each seemed to bear wounds. Celestia's, however, were far more severe-looking, while Luna seemed to have very minor injuries. What shocked Minuette the most, however, were Luna's eyes; hatred filled them entirely, and all that hatred was being directed at her sister. Decked out in armor that Minuette never knew she had and a new look that just screamed 'scary'. In contrast, Celestia's eyes were filled with sadness and remorse, as if a foal had broken their favorite toy. She was clad in her signature golden armor, but it was dented and even broken in a few places, smeared with blood that Minuette did not ever want to know where it came from. ...Heartstrings, what say you? I think we're about to have our loyalties tested. Minuette was going to ask why her partner thought that, when Luna turned her head around to face them, snarling out a command as she took a step towards them. "Guardians! Hoof me the Elements so I can make an example of my sister!" A blast of magical energy caused Luna to take a step back and growl aggressively, and the guardians turned their heads towards Celestia, who shook her head violently. "No! Don't listen to her! She's...Possessed, by some...Thing! This is not Luna!" I hate it when you're right, Heartstings. I hate it too, when I don't want to be right. The question is, though, which princess' orders do we follow? We are at quite the pickle, Minuette; we cannot ignore the orders of either princess, as they have equal power, and Cloudkicker and Sassaflash seem to be hoofing over the ability to chose to us, as per regulation whenever a rookie guardian is near the company of an experienced one, and feels unable to- Bah! I know the rules, Heartstrings. She shot a glare at the younger guardians, who smiled sheepishly at her. In any case, what think you, should we do? The two alicorns looked expectantly at the guardians, who slowly felt like their time was running out. There was a slight pause as Heartstrings stepped back towards the Elements of Harmony, and both alicorns tensed, both eager and terrified to find out who's orders Heartstrings would follow. ...We are bound to the princesses, but our greater duty is to Equestria, which overrides any loyalty to the princesses as far as I'm concerned, so the contract will not kill us if we happen to go against one, or even both of the princesses as Equestria is far more important than the figureheads leading it. If I had to choose, however, I would pick Celestia, as she seems...A little more composed than Luna. Wait...If you had to choose? The ball falls in your hooves, Minuette. Promise me that whatever happens, you live long enough to tell either princess our side of the story. Shall we support Celestia? Do we give our trust to Luna? Or shall we attempt to take them both on? The blue unicorn gulped as the responsibility of choosing which alicorn to support (as she immediately rejected Heartstring's third option) fell upon her. I...I promise, Heartstrings. As much as I hate to say it...It seems like we'll be supporting Celestia, as I trust her more. Minuette sighed, and looked up at the ceiling, stretching her hooves out. "...I've fulfilled that promise, Tia! I estimate our casualties to number in the hundreds, and with such a dent in our numbers, we were unable to assist you with the political fallout and provide support after this event. However, there were just enough of us to act upon what we saw fit to benefit Equestria, namely by eliminating groups that sought to usurp your power, helping out ponies that were affected the most by Luna's banishment to the moon, and doing all the little things that would cement your power over the next one-thousand years. After that...We argued. Some of us wanted to live as normal ponies again, others wanted to continue serving you, despite the fact that we could not directly place ourselves under your command." "That's what I'm confused about," Celestia spoke up, feeling saddened at what her contracted ponies had to go through, "I was awaiting your return for a long, long time. Why could you not serve me?" Heartstrings spoke up, having been quiet as Minuette explained their side of the story. "That would've been suicidal. Our contract states that we serve both princesses of Equestria, and do not favor one princess over another. Since Luna was banished and had no way of receiving the benefits of us contracted ponies, that theoretically would be 'favoring' you, and the contract would enact it's punishment and 'fail-safe' protocol." With a nod at Heartstrings that was returned, the two suddenly got off the sofa, and knelt down at Princess Celestia's hooves. However, since Luna has returned and you have found us... We wish to be assigned under a new contract, under the both of you, with better rules that do not restrict us as much as they have before. Although Celestia wanted to release them forever, she knew that she could use more help. "I accept, and will make a new contract for you two soon." Author's Note If you're wondering how the heck I came up with 'Sassaflash' Cloud Kicker lost the accent over time and no she's not hitting on everypony she sees in this story because she likes waffles instead This isn't a funny chapter and I apologize but then again this arc wasn't supposed to be funny so I don't know if I should feel bad Arc is over I think I shall create an information bank of sorts later for parts of the story (mostly about this 'contract') later Oh my god I almost went over two-thousand words with this chapter without any humor, shame on me Give me my noodles, Lulu!Give me my noodles, Lulu! It's almost done. I can sense the warmth of the water heating it up quickly, making it possible for me to eat the delicious, previously unable to be eaten bounty hidden within. I shall be quick as lightning when it actually is done, pouncing upon my prey with no mercy for it as I eat my fill. My fork is ready. The noodles are not. Instant ramen in a cup, you're mine! ...When you finish cooking. Soon. Very soon. But not soon enough. Nightmare Moon was glaring at a cup of noodles, tail swishing behind her to and fro like a cat about to pounce on its prey. She was hungry, and the cup of noodles she had made were going to provide her with the nourishment that she so desperately needed. Sure, she could have demanded that the chefs make something for her, or raid Luna's fridge for moon pies, but she didn't want to bother the kitchen staff (and they still took forever to make anything that was even remotely edible), and she also didn't want to be maimed by Luna after she found out that she had her moon pies stolen, respectively. C'mon, c'mon...Cook faster...My stomach is itching to devour your slightly-too-salty goodness! So focused upon her noodles that Nightmare Moon didn't notice Luna creeping up behind her, wondering why she was raising her rump up to the air and shaking it around, where anypony could see it. That's not a very flattering pose for you, Moonie. It would be best if you waved your rump in a slightly slower way; that'd be more attractive, because right now, it's making my eyes bleed. What are you doing, anyway? Luna circled around Nightmare Moon, curious as to what her concentration was on. To her surprise, it was just one of those cup of noodle things that she heard college students go on a 'diet' on, which also contained a lot of sodium and weren't healthy to eat at all in mass quantities. Which meant it was one of the perfect foods for alicorns, which also meant that they had to eat these things in moderation. Moonie, I can't believe you! You would eat something so unhealthy when there are better options to eat, such as moon pies?! No wonder you're getting as big as Tia now. Determined to not let Nightmare Moon become as fat as her sister, Luna levitated the cup of noodles away. This action was not appreciated by Nightmare Moon, who whined as it flew up out of her reach. "Nooooooodles! Noooooo! Come back! I have not finished stalking you and taking you into my belly!" In any other situation, Luna would have laughed, but she was dead-set on making sure these noodles weren't consumed. "No, Moonie! You need to eat real food, not a cup of noodles! Why don't you eat a salad or some fish-steaks from the kitchen?!" Nightmare Moon pouted at Luna while waving her fork in the air. "The kitchen staff take forevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver to make anything that's actually edible that won't kill me in the process!" ...Oh, right, I forgot about that. She does have a point. "Well...Why a cup of noodles, then? I mean, there's a lot of other foods that you could eat instead." "No! No, no, and of course, heck no! Give me my noodles, Lulu! I prepared them, and I want to eat them! You cannot stop me from eating such an amazing piece of heaven, and I won't let you stop me!" One would think that it was impossible for Nightmare Moon to eat anything else, with the way she keeps going on about how heavenly these noodles are. Seriously, though, cup noodles, out of all things? I'd be laughing if it weren't for the fact that Nightmare Moon actually looks serious right now. With a wave of her right hoof, Luna tried to fend off Nightmare Moon's advance upon her. "Look, Moonie...I understand that you made these noodles, but...Can't you make something else? I'm sure there's something else you can make that isn't as unhealthy." With a gasp of horror, Nightmare Moon grabbed the cup of noodles violently from Luna, and held the cup close to her, glaring at Luna with sudden fury in her eyes. "A cup of noodles requires some of the least preparation for it's massive benefit gain! You most likely do not have the willpower to stand up to the deliciousness of these noodles, but I do, just barely! They are perfect, absolutely perfect, and anypony who says less about them says less about me! So what if they're not the most healthy food in the world to eat, lots of other stuff isn't healthy at all, but ponies still eat them!" She looked down at the cup of noodles in her hooves, and began stroking it gently, smiling down on the cup of noodles as if it were her foal. "It's okay, mommy's here to protect you now, with her life..." Quite frankly, Luna's confusion only grew as she watched the disturbing sight of Nightmare Moon cradle the cup of noodles in her grasp, and then give it a little kiss. "Ooooooookaaaaaaay. I think I've seen everything now when it comes to ponies obsessed with food, and I've seen a lot with Tia around." Nightmare Moon gave no comment as she gently peeled back the paper lid on the cup of noodles, and readied her fork to plunge into it's unhealthy, noodle depths of deliciousness. "I'm sorry, baby, but even you have to go sometime!" Without restraint, Nightmare Moon began eating the cup of noodles, with an intensity that would put out even the most intense fires simply by how intense it was. It was just that intense. I cannot unsee what has been seen, and if I ever had a wish to unsee something forever, this would be it, as Nightmare Moon's eating habits when it concerns a cup of noodles is very disturbing. Luna quickly walked away, leaving Nightmare Moon with her cup of noodles. Fare thee well, Nightmare Moon, I hope you realize the evil that those cup noodles bring, and quickly, too, before you get consumed by the madness, if you have not been already. Author's Note Nightmare Moon x cup of noodles The best ship ever Too bad it sinks like everything else My accent is fake, Tia!My accent is fake, Tia! I wonder if I should break it to Tia yet; after all, she still thinks that the terrible accent I put on is actually my real voice. I think I'll break it to her today; there's no reason to continue putting it off, and at least I'll have some back-up with me. Spitfire was flying low and slow over towards Canterlot's castle, debating on the possible pros and cons on what she was doing. On one hoof, Celestia would probably be happy that she could now understand what she was saying (Spitfire herself sometimes didn't know what she was spouting off), but on the other hoof, it was part of her charm, so to speak, and it was the public image that she had, so revealing who she actually was like was very different then putting on 'air' and pretending to act like somepony she wasn't. I have to admit, I'm a bit scared, like one of those school-fillies admitting to another pony that they have a crush on them. I just hope my sister can provide some support for me, as well as...Not screw things up, like she usually does. With a sigh, Spitfire touched down near the entrance of the castle, where Rainbow Dash was waiting for her with a grin on her face. Steeling herself for what would most likely be humiliating words from her sister, she walked on over to her, giving a simple greeting. "Hey, sis." "Hey." Surprisingly enough, Rainbow Dash didn't open up with a 'smart' snark at her. "So you need some backup trying to explain how your accent isn't really real to Princess Celestia? Doesn't this, like, break every pony that you tell, and causes them to be sent to a mental hospital for a few weeks?" Unfortunately, that snark came right after the greeting. Spitfire rolled her eyes as she strode inside the castle, followed closely by Rainbow Dash. "I'm sure this time will be different! After all, I'm sure Princess Celestia has met ponies who have been hiding secrets. Mine isn't that big of a deal!" "Sis, everypony thinks you're a hard-talking pony that grew up on the streets without a bit to her name and somehow managed to become a Wonderbolt. I'm pretty sure they aren't expecting the truth about that pegasus who happens to instead be a pegasus that lived a comfortable middle-class life, a weekly allowance, likes to meditate, eats healthy and actually likes wearing dresses and slow-dancing." Spitfire continued walking ahead, giving back a snark of her own at her sister. "Who was the one that made up that ridiculous back-story for me which somehow got accepted as the truth?" Now on the defensive, Rainbow Dash tried to defend her reasoning. "Hey, the story you submitted to the press that one time was downright boring and totally uncool! I had to spice it up a little! Nopony would believe that a middle-class pegasus managed to be a Wonderbolt. I did you a favor that you haven't returned for me yet!" I don't think having me fight up ninjas from space while I was tied to a chair, had a time-bomb strapped to my chest while blindfolded and forced to eat fried alfalfa spiced with a few bottles of hot sauce is considered 'spicing' things up a little, Rainbow Dash. Ah, well...No point in continuing to argue, we'll just end up fighting each other, and that would make a poor impression on Celestia. "Whatever, Dashie. We should be approaching Celestia soon, so I'd rather not have to tell her the truth while we're arguing with each other." Despite the fact that Rainbow Dash wanted to continue arguing about how much cooler she made her sister, she knew that it was probably best if she saved it for later. "Alright. What are you going to say to Celestia, anyway?" "...I have no idea, but it looks like we're about to find out." The two had stumbled upon Celestia, who was eating some apple-pie in the dining hall. Upon seeing the two, the princess waved over at them, and Spitfire waved back with a slight smile on her face. "Hope she understands." "She probably won't, like Twilight did when you went out with her. Which, by the way, was gross knowing about." "Hey, I didn't know." Spitfire thought it was pretty funny to see the shocked expression on her sister's face when she mentioned that she had formerly dated Twilight. She had never seen Rainbow Dash puke so fast. The distance between casually eating an apple-pie Celestia and slightly nervous Spitfire closed slowly, but it wasn't long before Spitfire was sitting down next to Celestia, with Rainbow Dash hovering next to her. "Hello, Spitfire! Hello to you as well, Rainbow Dash. I have to say, I wasn't expecting you two to show up today." "Well, that's because Spitfire has something to tell you, Princess." Rainbow Dash spoke up for Spitfire, as they had rehearsed earlier (it only took them twenty tries to get the right words that Spitfire wanted her sister to say). "Oh?" Celestia's curiosity was now taking an active interest in Spitfire, wondering what the captain of the Wonderbolts had to say. "Well, what do you have to say, Spit?" "It's about my accent. My accent is fake, Tia! I had to go along with it since my idiotic sister-" Rainbow Dash was quick to complain, almost as fast as she was to fly. "Hey!" Spitfire, however, continued over her after shooting her sister a glare. "...Changed my back-story I sent to the press into something that was totally untrue and I was forced to act like some hard-life pony with a really bad accent." "Like your description was any better! It was so boooooooring and uncool!" Before a sisterly brawl could erupt (Spitfire and Rainbow Dash were absolute terrors for their parents whenever they began fighting each other), Celestia intervened with a few words that Spitfire didn't expect she'd hear as an answer from her current marefriend. "Oh. I already knew the accent was fake." "I...What?" A look of confusion washed over Spitfire, and that same confusion was apparent in Rainbow Dash. "How did you know?" "Well," Celestia began, taking a moment to bite into her remaining apple pie before continuing, "I'm sure you've remembered me trying to talk like you?" "Oh. You mean..." "Yes, I indeed visited the ponies that truly have the accent you try to imitate, and while many ponies would be fooled, you cannot fool somepony that truly knows how to talk Manehattan. I asked around, and many ponies whom I talked to said that your accent was not right." "Oh." Spitfire was embarrassed that Celestia had known that her accent was fake. "Well...You don't mind that I lied to you?" "Not at all, Spitfire! Do you want some apple pie? I know I want some more" A look was exchanged between the two sisters before both nodded furiously. "Sure!" Author's Note They came to discuss a lie Instead they got apple pie Spitfire's accent says bye This all rhymes, why The sea is terrible, Lulu!The sea is terrible, Lulu! I know not what has happened, but mine sister looks like she fought with death itself, and then went along and partied with Pinkie Pie and Discord! Luna was with a sheepish looking Chrysalis (the latter of whom was with Celestia), and the two were sitting down next to a sickly looking Celestia, who had heaved up the contents of lunch. Repeatedly. Buckets were stationed nearby in the event that Celestia began throwing up more of her lunch in an attempt to keep the environment vomit-free. If there's one thing I know now, it's that one should never attend an 'all-you-can-eat' buffet before going somewhere important. Though her sister looked incredibly sick, Luna still had not been told why. "Chrys, what happened at the naval port today? I haven't seen Tia this sick in...Well, forever!" Celestia croaked out, immediately bringing the attention to her. "B-Bucket!" Not wanting her sister to make a mess in a clean hospital setting, Luna grabbed a bucket and quite literally shoved it at her sister. Just in time, too, as Celestia retched, causing Chrysalis to wince. "The sea is terrible, Lulu! You cannot fathom how unlucky Tia was to be hit by seasickness!" Huh? Confused, Luna looked up at Chrysalis. "I thought Tia was just visiting the captain in charge of the newly constructed cruise ship, The Amazing Grace?" Chrysalis squirmed a bit in her seat, obviously uncomfortable with what she had to say. "Weeeeeell...You see, she was invited onto the boat, and she couldn't refuse, the way the captain worded it. I couldn't help her, either; any attempt to leave the scene would have been considered rude." "You mean..." A single nod from Chrysalis, confirming Luna's fears. "It couldn't be avoided at all." "Tell me everything. Now." A groan from Celestia caused Luna to ready a new, fresh bucket. "Okay. It all started after we met Captain Pepper Jack after leaving Fancy Pant's restaurant, having just eaten our fill of food with the all-you-can-eat special, and we were just about to conclude our tour outside of the new ship when..." "Well, I have to admit, this is a very wonderful ship, Captain Pepper Jack!" "Indeed! It's been a long time in the making, and made to my exact specifications!" Celestia was currently touring with Chrysalis, with Pepper Jack being their guide and the captain of the ship, The Amazing Grace. They were here to see off the ship during shakedown, after which it would make its maiden voyage. The full tummy gained from eating at Fancy Pant's restaurant also helped make things very enjoyable for Celestia. So far, things were going splendidly, and the tour was coming to a close, so Celestia felt it time to quickly leave; she did not like being near the sea. "Well, Captain Pepper Jack, this has been a very nice tour, but Chrysalis and I must conclude this to be over and return to the castle." "Hm? Leaving so soon, princesses?" Pepper Jack frowned, obviously discontent with the fact that the princesses were leaving. "We haven't even toured on the ship yet, which is the best part! It's not really a tour of the ship if we haven't actually toured inside of it! Besides, you need to actually make sure that everything is in top shape yourself!" I'm not sure I'm liking where this is going, at all. How can I refuse in a polite manner...? Celestia cast her eyes on Chrysalis, begging for desperate help, though, regretfully, none was able to be given by the changeling, as Pepper Jack strode over to a bridge that led up to The Amazing Grace. "Princess Celestia, come up! The ship awaits your inspection! Jump in the boat! Open your eyes and see the surprises we have for you up in the boat!" "Be strong, Tia!" Chrysalis whispered as she strode up to her, trying to calm her down, "I know you can get through this!" "I certainly hope so..." With a resigned sigh of defeat, Celestia walked up the bridge, and soon stood on the deck of The Amazing Grace. Already, Celestia was beginning to feel a little bit queasy simply by standing on the deck; she did not take well to the slight rocking motions of the boat. "Come, come!" Pepper Jack waved, and Celestia walked over to the captain, with Chrysalis trailing behind her. "Up there is the bridge, where I will be steering the ship around on its voyages! And here is..." The tour continued on, but as time went by, Celestia found herself becoming increasingly unable to concentrate on Pepper Jack's words and more on the slight swaying motion of the boat. Chrysalis was becoming increasingly worried about Celestia, and had slowly strayed closer to the solar alicorn's side until she was directly pressing up against her. "Tia, just say you are feeling unwell and must go..." Slowly, Celestia shook her head, still unable to bring herself to simply say she was unwell. "I-I cannot, Chrys. I do not w-wish to sound rude to Pepper Jack! You said open your eyes, and, I said I don't like surprises..." Chrysalis rolled her eyes at the reference to a certain song, and decided to play along for Celestia's benefit, if it meant that she wasn't concentrating on her weakness on boats. "You said surprise, you're up to your knees in the water and don't have a life vest." Smiling slightly as Chrysalis played along with her, Celestia sang a little louder. "I know, I know, I know, but don't worry, 'cause I've got it figured out." Pepper Jack looked behind her, confused on why the two alicorns were slowing down. "Is something wrong?" Celestia was now in full-swing as she continued singing along the lyrics to the song. "You said, jump in the boat, mare!" Similarly, Chrysalis continued singing along with Celestia, enjoying the small moment. "I said, no you reach your hoof!" "You said the storms that will come will be more than enough and alone you cannot win!" Celestia twirled around Chrysalis, giggling at the look of disbelief on Pepper Jack's face. "You know, you know, you know without hope, you'll only sink not swim!" Perhaps they would have gone through the whole song, if Celestia suddenly didn't run over to the side of the boat, and threw up, with her stomach finally being unable to hold back the uncomfortable queasiness. "...That's what happened, Lulu." Luna was struggling to come to terms with the absolutely dumbest story she had ever heard. That's...I don't... "...So, let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly; you two got up on The Amazing Grace, Celestia mentioned the lyrics to a song, which ended up in you two singing on it, and then Tia threw up." Chrysalis nodded slowly, realizing just how silly it all sounded. "...Pretty much." "...Can I have the name of the song?" Author's Note Celestia can't hold her lunch She gets seasick easily I'm not entirely sure what this chapter was supposed to be about I need marshmallows, Tia!I need marshmallows, Tia! Although many ponies like it when it gets cold, many of those ponies also agree that sometimes, it can be unbearable, as is all things in excess (though, many would argue that having too many friends is the exception). The cold bites, it snaps, and it doesn't get any better when the wind and rain decide to join in on the fun, especially if they're just as bitter. Luckily, a pony created something that could effectively combat the cold as well as bring in ponies together, and some even say that it's even more effective than the Elements of Harmony themselves at helping ponies become friends with one another. Hot chocolate was this pony's creation. While many rejoiced when this was made, some, after sampling this wondrous drink, knew that something was missing, as heretical as it sounded. But what? Many tried different items; all with varying degrees of success. Many thought it was more chocolate, others, graham crackers. What many found out, though, was marshmallows. Ponies celebrated this fact by pouring tons of mini-marshmallows into their hot chocolate drinks, and all was well, with ponies celebrating with their mugs of hot chocolate and mini-marshmallows. However, a new controversial issue was coming up now, between three alicorns. "Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiia,I cannot find the marshmallows!" Currently, Luna, Celestia, and Nightmare Moon were awaiting for Chrysalis to come back from Ponyville, and they were waiting for her to arrive in the grand dining hall, in front of one of the massive fireplaces that kept the hall warm and toasty for most of the year. In order to warm themselves up further, Celestia had suggested the idea of consuming hot chocolate to increase the amount of warmth they currently had and to have something to drink, which was readily agreed by the other two alicorns. Hot chocolate was made quickly, and was being consumed by two of the alicorns, but the third, Luna, was complaining about something very, very important, as she could not consume her hot chocolate as the others did. "There has to be marshmallows around here somewhere! You just had to be greedy and take them all for yourselves!" Nightmare Moon and Celestia exchanged glances at each other, each assuming that the other alicorn would share their marshmallows with Luna. Since that didn't happen, they were now with one upset Luna, trying to find marshmallows around the dining hall. "Tia," Nightmare Moon began, watching as Luna patted-down a nearby maid for marshmallows, "I think Lulu is going a little too far with this, if she's personally patting down every pony, looking for 'marshmallow smugglers' that are stealing 'her' marshmallows. Quite frankly, it's disturbing." "Thank you for stating the obvious, Moonie." Nightmare Moon shot Celestia an annoyed look that went unnoticed as Celestia took a moment to drink from her cup of hot chocolate (which was loaded with two entire bags of mini-marshmallows) before continuing to speak. "I just wish Lulu would just drink her hot chocolate without marshmallows." "Whaaaaaaaaat?!" As if Luna was just waiting for those words to be heard, she suddenly popped up in front of Celestia, waving her hooves frantically. "Hot chocolate without marshmallows?! That's like...That's like Twilight without books!" Oh, Faust. I remember trying to separate Twilight from a book once... Shuddering from the memory of attempting to do such a thing, Celestia wondered if this was going to be nearly the same exact scenario with her sister, just with marshmallows as the thing of affection rather than a book of some kind. "What...I'm saying, Lulu, is that you don't need marshmallows in your hot chocolate." "Oh, but I do, but I do, Tia! The sweet warmth of the hot chocolate meshes perfectly with the marshmallow chewiness! It blends together so well that once you try it, you cannot go back! I cannot drink my hot chocolate until I receive some marshmallows!" Luna noticed a group of ponies walking into the dining hall to warm up from the bitter cold outside, and promptly dashed towards them, when Nightmare Moon suddenly lashed out with her magic, tripping Luna and then pulling the struggling alicorn back over to them. "Lulu, please, calm down, Chrys is bringing along more marshmallows with her." "Nnngh! Let go! Leggo, leggo, leggo! Marshmallows call to me! They want to be devoured and be in my warm tummy but they can't because they're being held hostage by evil ponies that want us both to suffer! Leggo! I need to save my captive friends from those evil ponies!" Unfortunately, that was when Chrysalis decided to show up, levitating up some hot chocolate mix and quite a few bags of marshmallows up in the air around her. "I'm here, and I got more hot chocolate and marshma-" "RAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" With a scream of rage that shocked everypony in the vicinity, Luna countered Nightmare Moon's spell with sheer, raw magical power, causing Nightmare Moon to drop Luna in sudden pain from the counter. Luna, in a blind fit of rage, tackled Chrysalis to the ground, and promptly stole the bags of marshmallows away from her while running off. All of this, in full view (especially in Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis' case) of three other alicorns and everypony that was using the dining hall to warm up. "...Is that the whole reason why I'm in a jail cell right now?" Luna asked, with a rather uncomfortable magic-inhibitor on her horn. A nod from her very annoyed sister told her as much. "Yes. You have embarrassed all of us, Moonie is hurting from your magical lash, and Chrys is now scared of you! What do you have to say for yourself?!" Silence reigned over Luna before she opened her mouth, stating her one desire at the moment. "...Can I have some hot chocolate and ma-" Promptly, Celestia thrust a mug, some hot chocolate mix, and a bag of marshmallows at her sister. "Yeah, yeah, I knew you were going to ask about them, sis. Anyway, I need to get back to the castle; Moonie wants to be tucked into bed tonight and Chrys needs therapy sessions and asked me to be there with her. Take care, Lulu! You won't be here long, so don't get too comfortable in the cell." Celestia, having said everything she needed to say, left her sister in the jail cell, who, despite the fact that she was now stuck in a jail cell alone, was finally happy that she got what she needed. She grabbed the items tenderly, and hugged them close to herself, before grinning. "Hoorah! I have hot chocolate and marshmallows! Now, I can begin my praise to such a divine treat!" It was then that something clicked, and she looked around her jail cell frantically. A whisper left Luna's mouth, one that confirmed the harsh, terrible truth. "...There's no hot water faucet in here..." A moment passed before Celestia giggled as she heard Luna's screams of anguish reach her. "That'll teach her to be so obsessive over such a little thing." Author's Note I was drinking hot chocolate at the time With marshmallows Luna would be proud of me and give me a medal Though that would be after she steals hot chocolate It was a mean but funny prank, Tia!It was a mean but funny prank, Tia! Nightmare Night; the one night where ponies could dress up in their costumes, getting free candy and have a wonderful time with one another while not getting arrested by the guards for 'scaring the populace' for wearing scary costumes that sometimes realistically looked like monsters (in a few Nightmare Night events, actual monsters attended the festival sometimes! Thankfully, they were just there to have fun, too). Of course, like all things, there is more to it, and that includes pranks. It was a prime night for pranks, and Nightmare Moon (and company) was convinced that they were about to pull the ultimate prank on Fluttershy, who also happened to be the easiest one to prank, thanks to their intelligence network (which was stalking Fluttershy for a few hours each day, alternated between the conspirators, for the past two weeks). Fluttershy didn't celebrate Nightmare Night, and while indeed she was Fley Truths, even she would be at the very least surprised about what was coming to her; she didn't take very well to pranks. Raising a hoof, Nightmare Moon knocked on the door, awaiting for Fluttershy to open the door. Slowly, said door creaked open slightly, revealing Fluttershy looking out cautiously. "Erm...I-I don't celebrate Nightmare N-Night..." Sensing that Fluttershy would say something like this, Nightmare Moon merely smiled at the pegasus. "No worry, I have not come to ask you for candy! I have come to ask you for a place to reside in temporarily!" "Um. Okay." The door slid open, and Fluttershy stepped aside, allowing Nightmare Moon inside. "I guess you can stay and rest up for a bit, Moonie." "Thank you, Fluttershy." Nightmare Moon sat down on a rather comfy sofa, satisfied that she was able to gain entry into Fluttershy's domain. "It is rather exhausting out there, and the festival gets too loud for me to comfortably rest in any of your friend's homes! Rarity suggested that I rest in your home, where it is far from the celebration." "When you put it that way, it does make sense. "Fluttershy sat down next to Nightmare Moon, smiling slightly. "Do you need any refreshments?" With a slow shake of her head and a wave, Nightmare Moon refused. "No, I merely require my royal rump to rest!" "Okay. Well, I'll be-" The sound of knocking upon Fluttershy's door took both their attentions. "Erm. Excuse me, I'll get the door." Fluttershy got off the sofa, and slowly walked on over to her door, wondering who it could be. She cracked the door open slightly, just enough to whisper out. "Hello?" "Greetings, Fluttershy!" Confused upon hearing the voice, Fluttershy opened the door to see Nightmare Moon, smiling at her. "I've come to raid your supply of candy! Trick or treat!" "I...Uh...Didn't you...Already come inside?" "What are you talking about? I have just arrived here!" Fluttershy turned her head around, and sure enough, Nightmare Moon was still sitting there, at the sofa. Unsure of what was happening, she pulled her door open, and stepped aside. I-It can't truly be another Nightmare Moon. It's probably Twilight; I mean, she could probably use her magic to look like an alicorn! She had weird taste, though; I'd prefer if she changed into Cadence. Pink is better than black...No offense. It would also look better on her. Still, a very convicing costume! "Erm...I don't usually celebrate Nightmare Night, but...I do have some candy upstairs. Make yourself welcome, Nightmare Moon." Fluttershy slowly backed away from the second Nightmare Moon, before walking up her stairs a little quicker than anypony should be when going up a staircase. The second Nightmare Moon giggled, and walked over to the first Nightmare Moon, winking at her once Fluttershy had gone upstairs. "Flutters totally bought it." With a grin, the first Nightmare Moon winked back. "This idea was genius, Chrys!" "I know, right? And you have such a flattering figure; it goes well with this awesome armor you wear." Blushing slightly from the comment, Nightmare Moon turned her head away slightly, and looked up at the staircase. "Thanks, Chrys. I can't wait until Luna knocks! Oh, shh, shh, Flutters is coming down!" Just then, Fluttershy slowly walked down the stairs, with a small bag of candy that she kept for herself whenever she needed her sweet cravings sated, but she figured she could always buy more candy later. "I have some candy for you, err...Second Nightmare Moon. I-" Knocking was heard again at her door for the third time, interrupting her, and Fluttershy slowly turned her head around to the door, dreading what she might find on the other side. She did, however, give the second Nightmare Moon her candy, first, before she walked over to her door, opening it slowly,hoping it wasn't what she thought it was going to be. "H-Hello?" Fortunately, instead of a third Nightmare Moon, it was simply Princess Celestia, who had decided to go for a slightly more youthful look, keeping her mane pink and donning her golden armor (which, while scary to think about Celestia fitting into a suit of golden armor, was offset by the princess' friendly demeanor). "Hello, Fluttershy. I understand that you don't celebrate Nightmare Night, but I figured it wouldn't be too long of a shot to ask if you have any candy laid out for those that do make the trek to your home." "Oh...It's no trouble at all, Princess Celestia! I do have some candy, in fact." Fluttershy tried very hard not to look behind her, over at the two Nightmare Moon's sitting over at the sofa, and brought out her bag of candy, giving Celestia a few pieces of chocolate. "Happy N-Nightmare Night, Princess!" "Happy Nightmare Night, Fluttershy." Celestia smiled warmly at Fluttershy, then stepped aside. "C'mon, Lulu, don't be shy!" ...Uh oh. With wide eyes, Fluttershy watched as Luna stepped up in her view, looking just like Nightmare Moon. At this point, her brain couldn't comprehend the ability to think of the fact that there were indeed three Nightmare Moon's in close proximity with each other, and so, she promptly fainted on the floor. Concerned, Celestia barged into Fluttershy's home (just barely being able to fit through the door, no thanks to her armor and rump), and checked her condition. "She's still breathing...I think she got scared of you, Lulu. I told you dressing up as Nightmare Moon wasn't a good idea!" "Apparently not, because I see two more of me over there." Luna spoke lamely, pointing over at Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis. Celestia looked up at her sister, and then followed her hoof over to see the other two alicorns. I don't think I even need to ask what happened. Ugh, Chrys, Moony...You two certainly like to push the envelope! "The only thing I can ask is 'why'?" Chrysalis spoke up, in a very enthusiastic voice. "It was a mean but funny prank, Tia!" A new voice not belonging to either of the three piped up. "It was mean? It didn't seem like it!" The three alicorns turned around to see a fourth Nightmare Moon, who happened to be Pinkie Pie; one could easily tell because her hair was still wild and untamed. "Whoa! I seriously thought I was the only pony going as Nightmare Moon tonight, I didn't think you all would, too! Did I miss out on all the fun?!" "You? Miss out on the fun? That's new. I must add that to my calcul..." Twilight Sparkle's voice died as she saw that there were five Nightmare Moon's, counting herself. "Well." "Well." Celestia responded, taking a few moments to look at all of the gathered Nightmare Moons that she was surrounded by, then down at Fluttershy. "I know Fluttershy's going to be having nightmares." Author's Note That was a very mean prank Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle also joined in, to every pony's surprise I suffer from same-costume syndrome every year Happy Halloween (I understand it's tomorrow but I don't update on days that don't end on an even number!) Sacrifice a small candy or two (or your entire bag) to me, yes yes? I feel something, Lulu!I feel something, Lulu! I sense danger may be near. Luna's prediction wasn't that far off or too surprising; after all, this was Canterlot, and she was an alicorn princess. It was practically assured that she would find trouble, or trouble would find her. I believe there is a set of universal rules that govern our world that specifically applies to alicorns and everpony near them, and it most likely follow as such; one will always hate bananas, one will always hate apples. Alicorns get all the cake, and as a penalty to that, alicorns also have the weirdest misfortunes ever, and the ponies they are close to also suffer from these misfortunes, though on a smaller scale. Currently, Luna was located within the dining room with Quackum and Blueblood, and all three were in the process of eating a very satisfying lunch. Unfortunately, that might change very soon, as Luna sensed that things may be taking a turn for the worse, which was a pity, as she didn't yet get to eat the wonderful roti tissue dessert that the chefs in the kitchen, for once, made on time for her lunch. It was sitting there, in equal distance to the duck, unicorn, and alicorn, and each had commented on such a fine looking dessert before starting on their main meals, looking forward to when the roti tissue would be eaten. Hopefully, the roti tissue would be spared for later consumption. "Bluey," Luna spoke, wanting to alert the unicorn in case he did not yet know, "I sense danger. Are you feeling it? Something is going to happen soon..." With a nod, Blueblood was now casually but very attentively looking around the dining room, sensing the same uncomfortable feeling of danger that Luna did. "I'm feeling something, alright. Should we attempt to defend ourselves?" With a shrug, Luna continued eating. "Can't really defend yourself when you don't know what the threat is, Bluey." A quack from Quackum seemed to agree with Luna, and Blueblood nodded slowly, agreeing with Luna's analysis of their current situation, though he did not like the fact that Luna was basically suggesting to just stay put. "Very well, then. I-" Blueblood's words were interrupted as a loud thud was heard as a pony with a rather comically over-sized duffel-bag filled with mail crashed down in front of them, causing all three present to recoil from the sudden, jarring impact of the pony hitting the table. Thankfully, the roti tissue was spared, and the pony didn't seem hurt from the impact, merely dazed. With a muted quack, Quackum walked up to Blueblood, and jump up, nesting on his head, though in reality, Quackum was preparing to use Blueblood as a shield to take the full force of whatever danger may be coming her way. Luna smiled at the sight of a slightly annoyed Blueblood with a worried looking duck on his head before inspecting the pony that had crash-landed on the table. It was a gray pegasus, with a dirty blonde mane and with bubbles as a cutie mark. The most striking feature about her, though, was her eyes; they never seemed to both point in the same direction, which made Luna feel concerned about the health of this pegasus. She got up from her chair, and moved up to pegasus' crash-site, checking over her to ensure that she didn't have a serious injury. "Pray tell, are you alright?" The pegasus looked over at Luna (causing the alicorn to cringe inwardly when she saw that her eyes still weren't straight), and nodded, giving her a salute. "I'm okay, mam! I'm Ditsy Do, working for the Peg-Ex, stationed in the Ponyville branch, ranked second lieutenant! We push the envelope everyday, all day, delivering letters and packages to those ponies that are expecting one! We only have a twenty-five percent casualty rate of lost and slash or misplaced mail, ten percent lower from our closest competitor, and most of our losses and misplacement of letters and packaging are caused by me! You won't find a better mail service anywhere else in Equestria!" "...I see." Luna looked over towards Blueblood, who shrugged, clearly as lost as she was. Some help you are, Luna thought in annoyance as she looked back down at Ditsy. "Well, Ditsy, what mail comes from Ponyville?" "It's from Pinkie Pie, classified as 'party'!" Ditsy reached into her bag and pulled out an extremely festive-looking letter, in pink, with stamped balloons on it and what Luna swore to be sprinkles on the outside, as if it were a cupcake. "She says it's an extra-special letter for you, and extremely vital that you take a look at the letter immediately!" Extra-special, eh? Luna took another look at the letter before placing a hoof on it, ready to tear the letter open, when Blueblood shook his head rapidly. "I feel something, Lulu! It feels like something terrible will happen if you open that letter. Don't do it!" Pfft. It's a letter. I sense no magic or harmful substances located within the letter itself, so, obviously, it must be safe. I'm confident that Peg-Ex screened the mail! "Fear not, Bluey, as an alicorn, I have the power to trump whatever is inside this letter! That, and it's not like you can put much dangerous stuff inside a letter." Without heeding his warning, Luna tore the letter open, unaware of what she just unleashed. "Surprise! Happy It's-Almost-Your-Birthday! Woo, it's hard, stuffing yourself in an envel-" While Luna was prepared for a great many things, she was not prepared for a pink pony to pop out from the envelope. So, she did the most rational thing that anypony would do in her situation; fling the envelope away. Unfortunately, she did not give much thought as to where she flung it. She watched as the envelope (plus one Pinkie Pie) sail into the air...And land on the roti tissue. "Wow! Your throwing hoof is a bit lacking, Princess Luna! I barely flew!" Pinkie Pie chirped as she climbed out of the envelope. Luna's attention was not on Pinkie Pie, who had somehow defied all known paths of logic when it came to mail, but on the delicious roti tissue dessert that she just ruined. She swore she felt her heart break upon seeing such a wonderfully crafted dessert in utter ruins. "Nooooo! The roti tissue! It's...It's ruuuuuuuuined!" Luna fell down onto the floor, crying and wailing. Confused, Pinkie Pie looked at where she landed, and saw that her landing site was in fact a now ruined roti tissue. Being a long-time goer at dessert conventions across Equestria, Pinkie Pie's eyes could not take in the dreadful sight. Immediately, she bounded off the table and began crying with Luna, joining a comrade who was also suffering from the same symptoms of dessert destruction. Instinctively, Luna hugged onto the pink party pony like a giant plushie. While the two were shedding tears over the ruined dessert, Blueblood stared at the two for a moment before turning his gaze over to Ditsy. "Lieutenant?" Ditsy saluted Blueblood, tilting her head slightly. "Yes, first lieutenant Blueblood?" Blueblood took a moment to clear his throat before tossing a small bag of bits at Ditsy. "Here's your tip." "Thank you, sir!" Author's Note Opening letters is dangerous Blueblood is feeling it, HE'S FEELING IT I'm saddened I had to sacrifice the roti tissue The mail system in Equestria is militarized Explain this to me, Tia! (End of Colgate Arc)Explain this to me, Tia! I understand not why Tia has suddenly up and went crazy after her visit to Ponyvile. She keeps mentioning ponies under a 'contract', something that I do not understand, either. She still refuses to tell me why, saying that it should be a surprise. Why would I need to be surprised about ponies working under a contract? I mean, seriously, she obviously can't be referring to the 'contract' that was put in place countless years ago, I don't think any of those ponies even exist anymore! Upset that her sister hadn't told her a thing since her sudden visit to Ponyville, Luna was brooding in the council room, where her sister had promised her that she would have all the answers she needed there. So far, no answers were given, since her sister was five minutes late. You'd think my sister would be on time to tell me what the heck is going on recently. I- Before Luna could start a mental rant, the door opened, and Celestia entered the council room, followed by two unicorns. It's about time. Luna noted that her sister had two scrolls with her, and wondered what was printed on it, as well as to the reason why the two unicorns were here. As the group of three sat down, Luna spoke softly, awaiting her answers to her questions. "Tia, thank you for finally coming to sate my curiosity; it's about time you've given me some answers about whatever the heck is going on." Celestia nodded, giving her sister a slight smile. "I know, and I apologize for not telling you sooner, but I had to find a few other contracted ponies first; they're scattered around Equestria, and I have not found them all yet." She mentions this 'contract' again. Just tell me what it is, already! With a groan, Luna smacked the table she was sitting on with a hoof. "There you go again, spouting nonsense about this 'contract' without remembering that I know nothing about it! Please, at least give me a hint, so I can guess as to what you're talking about." One of the unicorns, a minty green, spoke up, causing Luna to recoil violently once she heard the unicorn's voice. "I'm sure it'll all come back to you eventually, Lulu." ...I'm hearing things. That can't possibly... Despite the fact that she thought she was suddenly hearing voices, Luna spoke up hesitantly. "...Heartstrings? Is that you?" The one and only, Lulu. It's great to be back. Shocked, Luna stared at Heartstrings, then at the other unicorn at Celestia's side. "If this is Heartstrings, then you must be..." Minuette. It's a pleasure to finally converse with you, Lulu, after all these years. With a bewildered look, Luna looked over at Celestia, and demanded to know what was going on. "Explain this to me, Tia! I cannot fathom how contracted ponies are still alive, a thousand years later!" Celestia laid out one of the scrolls onto the table, and Luna recognized it as the original contract that bound these ponies. "There appears to be a loop-hole within the contract that we created, Lulu. It appears that we did not account for the fact that we would become...'Separated'. Thus, I had no authority over these ponies since you were not there to challenge my orders, and you could not give them any." Minuette nodded, pointing to a section of the contract. "Due to the fact that you were banished, Lulu, this contract condition was activated. Since you were technically missing, we had to await your return, thus extending our life well beyond the date our contract should have ended." Luna looked over at the two unicorns with remorse, ashamed for what she had put them through. "I am sorry for causing this; I know that you were due for 'retirement' and had no wish to continue serving." A wide smile was given by Minuette, not scathing words, which surprised Luna. "No need to apologize, Lulu. I actually enjoy the work that we do, and I wouldn't want to change a single thing if I could." "However," Heartstrings spoke up, with a slight frown on her face, "I have to say that this contract is no longer suitable for present-day politics and life, so this contract must be rewritten, which is the purpose of this meeting. Sentimental feelings can wait until the contract is fixed." "I agree." Celestia pointed at the first rule of the contract. "I only need help with the five commandments; everything else, I can do on my own, so let's begin." All ponies signed under this contract must be a pony that has been on hard times, or is looking to prove that they want to turn their life around. This may include prisoners, the homeless, or any that wish for another chance at life. Partners are picked out by the princesses, and are determined by compatibility. A pony's natural lifespan is halted so that ponies do not age while under this contract, to ensure ponies are kept at the peak of their physical and mental health at the time of accepting the contract. "I remember when Tia came to me, a lowly thief caught and thrown into a cell, shouting that I'd do anything to redeem myself." Minuette murmured, clearly remembering when she was first approached by Celestia and offered something she couldn't refuse. Heartstrings nodded, allowing a small smile to grace her face as she remembered her own circumstances. "As I, Minuette, when she found me, in a little alleyway that I was calling home for a few weeks. I could not believe that she was offering me." "I remember you two very well." Celestia said with a smile, taking a moment to remember both ponies at their lowest. A brief moment of silence passed before Celestia spoke up again. " The problem, however, is the entire commandment. Well, everything other than the lifespan bit. Equestria has been known peace for far too long, and for once, that is beginning to cause a problem. There are hardly any crimes committed in Equestria anymore, homeless ponies are few and far in-between, not to mention that most are housed with their friends, and very few ponies want another chance at life, for whatever reason. The issue of needing to find two ponies that are compatible with each other just makes it worse." That is quite the problem, should we need to recruit more ponies underneath this contract, and I know that there can't be many of these ponies left. Luna brought up a very simple answer to the problem, but one she fully expected to get rejected. "Why not change it to volunteers, then? Surely there would be many ponies jumping at the chance to serve." "I am unsure if we want this contract going out to the public, Lulu." "How about," Heartstrings interjected, "Minuette and I, as well as the existing contracted ponies, search for suitable candidates on our own time? While recruits would trickle in very slowly, you can be sure that they'd be of exceptional quality, get along well with others, and you wouldn't have to devote your own time into searching the small pool of available ponies. Of course, compatibility may be an issue between ponies due to the slow recruitment speed, but that's unavoidable." Celestia look over at Luna, frowning slightly. "Should we, Lulu? Faust knows we're busy enough trying to hold the fort here, and this would remove an enormous responsibility away from us." "I think no reason to counter Heartstring's proposal with something else." With a nod, Celestia unrolled the second scroll, and began writing down a revised commandment onto it with magical ink, a rare commodity that was just as dangerous as it was rare, if handled improperly. "Then let us move onto the next rule. That requires some attention." Ponies under this contract do not talk about the contract. Celestia pointed back up at commandment one. "It contradicts revised commandment one." Luna nodded slowly. "Erase it, the commandment does not need to exist any longer." "Objections?" As Minuette and Heartstrings shook their heads, Celestia crossed out the second rule. "Very well. Next!" The duties of ponies under the contract include, but are not limited to, protecting Equestria, protecting the Elements of Harmony, and to protect the Princesses, in order of importance. Contracted ponies may break off their obligations to the princesses and the Elements if they feel they threaten the safety of Equestria. In the event that two or more conflicting orders are given, a contracted pony is given the freedom of choice to choose what order they will follow, or follow their own agenda, as long as it benefits Equestria as a whole. Shrugging, Luna sighed as her stomach grumbled. I knew I should have gotten something to eat first. I've always hated revising these things, even if I'm not the one writing the new commandments. "Doesn't really need to be changed." "I agree, Lulu. Next!" Contracted ponies have a mandatory hundred-year service, after which they are removed from service and allowed to live peacefully in 'retirement' for the rest of what would have been their natural life-span, unless there exists a problem that may cause their contract to extend well beyond the hundred-year service. They may choose to live with their partner if they wish, but they cannot speak of their time under the contract, and they do not retain the abilities blessed onto them by the princesses. Minuette sighed, and looked up at Celestia. "I understand removing the abilities of ponies and making them unable to speak of their time underneath the contract, but what of us few that want to continue serving? I don't want to 'retire', I want to continue working for Equestria. The same could also be said for the 'mandatory' service; some ponies I've talked to just didn't like this position of power they were in, and were eagerly awaiting for their 'retirement'." "Wait," Luna said, frowning slightly, "I am not sure why you wish to stay, Minuette, but even the royal guard changes its ponies around on a three-month basis, so why does the general idea not apply here?" "That," Heartstrings murmured softly, "is because the royal guard is comprised of a healthy pool of hopefuls from other branches of the Equestrian military, upon which it draws from the best of the best. We do not have such an ability to do so, and this contract under revised rule one will make it extremely difficult for us to gain any new ponies. Also, I doubt you and Tia wish to 'start from scratch', as the training for these ponies would consume too much of your time." "Hm...Very well then." Luna tried to dissuade her sister. "I don't like it, Tia. Are you sure you wish for ponies to have the ability to leave whenever they please?" "Above everything else, the contract is more or less made up by volunteers, Lulu. These volunteers, while trained in military exercises and the like, are not actually a part of our armed forces, and as such should not be treated as if they were. They should have the right to back out of the service if they so choose." "...Fair enough. What of the forced lengthening of the service of ponies in the event of a problem? I can't imagine all ponies will be accepting of having their service extended like Minuette and Heartstrings." The answer seemed fairly obvious to Minuette. "If you're going to sign underneath this contract, you had better read the fine-print, Lulu. I'd feel better if I knew my comrades wouldn't suddenly turn tail at the first sign of trouble, and there will be instances where forced service will occur." With a sigh, Luna admitted defeat on the matter. "Very well. Let us continue." Celestia nodded, and pointed at the last rule. Ponies will be trained by the princesses and will learn various skills and abilities, as well as, but not limited to, increased magical output, increased flight stamina, increased strength, increased endurance, various techniques to defend oneself, reconnaissance, mental resistance to probing of the mind, and the ability to blend into the background without getting noticed. Celestia immediately began rewriting the rule already, without consulting with the others. "In regards to rule five and because of the point brought up in rule four, I believe that it will be fair if I dictate most of the training to the current 'veterans', while Luna and I will personally teach the new recruits the more advanced techniques that you may have difficulty with." Minuette nodded slowly. "That sounds fair." "Well, then. We have finished revising the five...Well, now four commandments, and now I just have to sort through all this legal stuff, so you may leave, all of you." Taking up on her offer, Minuette and Luna promptly left the council room to catch up on old times with one another. Heartstrings, however, stayed, and looked down past the rest of the legal jargon that made up the old contract, smiling at the last sentence of the old contract. If you have accepted the rules above and understand the penalties of disobeying them without putting Equestria's well-being up first, congratulations, you are now a 'Background Pony'. Background ponies, ready to serve. Author's Note Not funny, more of a chapter explaining this 'contract' in the Colgate arc a little more Sorry if you wanted a dose of funny The reason why this section of the arc was delayed for awhile was because I wasn't exactly sure how Luna would come to terms with the fact that the 'background ponies' were still alive, so I just went with the most boring yet most believable circumstance while also giving a look into what rules these 'background ponies' are under Yay stupid headcanon Sure, Lulu!Sure, Lulu! Ah...It's so nice that things appear to be normal, for once. After all, there's only so much crazy I can take, and it seems like the world has agreed with me. I'm glad, because I really, really don't want anything else happening to me, lest I break out into a rage over finding out I'm wrong, or find myself crying over some incredibly sad thing. In a rare moment given to her, Celestia found herself alone on her balcony just as day was turning to night, without any crazy stuff happening around her (though she suspected that it would not last long). This allowed her a moment to think about her current position in life (which she had not done in quite a long time). Things have changed quite a bit, and mostly for the better. I'm amazed at how much was done in the past few months...It's astonishing how I was able to put up with it all without breaking. Not only do I have my sister back, but I also have Chrys and Moonie, a changeling and deranged pony that wanted to bring eternal night working side-by-side with me through the sluggish politics and disasters that happen around Equestria. I would have never seen this coming, and even if I did, I'd have been unprepared in the manner that they came by into my life. A subtle movement caught her eye, and she observed a pony, working in the bitter cold, cleaning up after an especially wild party for Luna's birthday last night that still needed lots of attention. The mere sight of a pony toiling through a mess that she knew was most likely made by her caused her to cringe inwardly. How many messes did we make? Is there anything I would do differently, given the chance? Would things still work out between us four with these theoretical new changes? Celestia sighed, and immediately winced afterward as her exhaled air instantly froze, then dropped down upon the pony working underneath her balcony, impacting upon his head. Oops. Maybe I need to increase the temperature just slightly enough to avoid having that happen. With a brief flash of her horn, she increased Canterlot's temperature slightly, not enough to get rid of the cold, but just warm enough as to avoid having instantly frozen exhaled breath. Now where was I...Oh, yes, I was about to move onto Canterlot. The unyielding fortress of fun upon where much of Equestria's politics and merchants go to, creating a social hub that is utterly massive and contains so many new things for one to experience. It is also where much of our crazy antics have occurred, and I'm glad our ponies are able to forgive us for everything we've done, as I know we have made life hard for them on several occasions unintentionally. Do they look back on those moments, and laugh, or do they cry? Nothing was there to answer Celestia's questions, but she continued thinking, something that she always never had enough time for. I'd like to think that they were amused by whatever situation they were in. I have never been prouder of our ponies, living in harmony with the occasional joke here and there. I have done so many things for Equestria, and yet...Perhaps it's time to let it go. Perhaps, let it all go. Equestria needs to learn to take care of itself, without us guiding them...But, would I want it any other way, would they want it any other way? She paused in her rambling to lower the sun, to give way to Luna's moon. Once that task was done, she continued thinking, getting a little upset over her thoughts. I know not the answers to my own questions, and I doubt anypony out there has the answer for me, either. Is it alright if I have questions, if I can appear as any other pony, without the answers to everything? I doubt even you, mother, could truly give me an answer to my questions. I'm pretty sure the answers are right in front of you, you're just blind. The sudden voice intruding on her thoughts caused Celestia to recoil violently, and she swiftly turned her head around, trying to find the source (even though it was mental). "Can you NOT sneak up on me like that?!" She decided to ignore the remark that she was blind. "I'm sorry; the opportunity presented itself far too well, ha ha!" Heartstrings chuckled as she rappelled up onto the balcony with a flowing scarf attached around her neck, protecting her from the cold. She took a moment to stow away her climbing gear before standing next to Celestia's right side. "So, I'm guessing that you're thinking again?" Wow. She's good. "How did you kno-" Heartstrings clicked her tongue, and stated the obvious. "Background pony." With a mock groan, Celestia tore her gaze off from the unicorn to stare out towards the dying sun. "...I never should have given you the secondary ability to sense the feelings of others." "That would just make my ability to manipulate others that much harder. Why do you bother to think, anyway?" Celestia raised a brow at the unicorn beside her. "Why do I think? Why do you ask such a question, Heartstrings? It seems quite a silly question." "Not really. As a Background Pony, we don't think so much as we act. In fact, some of the most brilliantly executed tactics that you've seen us do are done on instinct, not because we thought the course of action through. It's quite refreshing from what you've told us to do." What?! Improvising on the spot...That's something we deliberately told the Background Ponies not to do! A worried Celestia poked Heartstrings' side gently, almost toppling the unicorn over. "Why would you attempt such action, then, without thinking about the consequences?!" Heartstrings just barely managed to prevent herself from being tipped over, and frowned slightly at Celestia's action before waving a hoof slowly at the landscape before them. "I know all of us Background Ponies look at the commandments differently and as such are affected by it in different ways, but the way I see it, I do whatever course of action I deem necessary because of the fact that serving Equestria is literally the first and foremost thing that I am to keep safe, and as such there are times where I must do questionable things in order to eventually reach that goal. If I stopped to think about every single thing I was about to do, I would have most likely attempted a much safer course of action that would also most likely take longer to accomplish and may not make Equestria that much safer than if I had simply taken action without thinking too much of the potential harm that may come to me or the other Background Ponies. "Consider this, Tia; we have gathered intelligence that there are a group of ponies that wish harm on the Elements of Harmony, however, we do not have definite proof of them actually going to do so, other than, say, a written threat. Now, there are a number of things that we could do, however, let us narrow down two possible routes to take; one, we can wait until the group actively pursues the Elements of Harmony, or two, we track the note and neutralize the threat immediately, preventing the problem entirely and reducing the amount of harm that could come to the Elements, and by extension, Equestria. To me, the second option is far safer for the Elements and it also ensures that we have the upper hoof, as we do not have to wait for them to make the first move before we act." That's not much of a choice to decide between. "Heartstrings, your tactical analysis is very unfair towards the first option." Heartstrings merely shrugged off Celestia's accusation. "Be as that may be, the second option requires far less thinking, and more doing, as well as being a far more realistic scenario then what you and Lulu have taught us in the past with your other scenarios. My point is this; you sometimes just need to stop thinking and start doing things, because thinking sometimes just isn't going to get you anywhere. You haven't stopped to think in awhile from what little I know, which is good, but you must continue that." "...Despite your long-winded analogy, I still don't see what it has to do with me thinking." With an exasperated sigh, Heartstrings gently punched Celestia's jaw, nothing more than a little tap with her left hoof. "Well, just think a little less. Ponies like Twilight Sparkle get into far more trouble then they need to be simply because they think too much." Your logic has a fatal flaw that I cannot help but point out. "I get into trouble even if I don't think. Remember the time Minuette accidentally set me on fire?" "That's your problem, not mine. By the way, Luna's coming by, so I should probably leave you alone with her." Heartstrings pulled out her climbing gear, and before Celestia could protest for her to stay a little longer, Heartstrings began rappelling down the balcony. True to her word, once Heartstrings was out of sight, somepony knocked at her door. Background Ponies...I wonder what I'd do without you. Slowly, Celestia made her way over to her door, opening it up for her sister. "Hi, Lulu." "Hey. Want to join the whole gang downstairs? We're playing Twister." Well...Heartstrings did say not to think too much, even though something bad is probably going to happen if I accept. "Sure, Lulu!" Author's Note A chapter that's actually somewhat normal?! This is ~~the end~~ only the beginning! I wrote this as kind of what probably goes through Celestia's mind as the months went on by, and I felt like she needed some character development I've reached the one-hundredth chapter, something I thought I knew I would never get as far to; I'd like to thank all of you for staying with me! Meet Trixie, Tia!Meet Trixie, Tia! Today started off rather boring and normal (which probably should have gave Celestia much warning that something bad was going to happen soon), though that soon changed during Celestia's lunch hour. She was eating a very enjoyable lunch in the dining room, when a scroll appeared by her, with an automated female voice speaking out, alerting her to the sudden scroll received. "You got a letter!" Oh, a letter! The redundant thought came from Celestia, who smiled fondly at the sudden mail she received. Quickly, she grabbed hold of it before it could spill into her tomato soup, and tucked it neatly underneath her left wing to read later. At least that's something to look forward to, once I've finished up lunch here. Who knows what I've been sent? "Drop the scroll harder and faster than Octavia dropping her bass when she's drunk, Princess!" A voice called out, and Celestia turned her head around to see Ditzy Do and Blossomforth glaring at her, both of them senior members of Pegex and, of course, wanting to scan the scroll sent to her, as was their duty when concerned about all things related to mail sent throughout Equestria. Celestia, however, had no intention of having her private mail sent to her from her student of all ponies getting searched through, and she stuck her tongue out at the two pegasai. While such a thing was very rude to the ponies that it was aimed at, Celestia felt like it was an appropriate gesture in this situation. She didn't like having her mail read. "I think not! This is from my student; I'm sure there's no ill intent within the scroll! Besides, you can't make me." Celestia got up from her chair, and tried to walk away, when she was suddenly surrounded by twenty pegasai, all of them affiliated with Pegex. ...Why was it a good idea to militarize the mail system, again? And cross-trained with ninjas, of all pony combat experts?! I'm going to have a word with Bluey. "Be as that may be," Blossomforth said, circling around Celestia, "I, as well as every other pegasus in Pegex has been trained to view every letter, scroll, package and other forms of sent mail to be a potential threat to you and Equestria. This includes personal mail, as stated within our codex, and I am not going to be the reason that you suffered from a sudden magical trap because I failed to scan the letter for any signs of magical tampering. I ask kindly, again, to hoof over the letter, without any sudden movements." It was then that Celestia sneezed, quite loudly and suddenly. This was counted as a sudden movement, and immediately, Celestia found herself drowning in a sea of pegasai determined to grab at the letter from her. One very satisfying (if suddenly turned hectic) lunch later, Celestia was somewhat contentedly (after all, one could not be truly content after being tickle-tortured by pegasai and then having your private mail searched for threats) laying down on her bed, having, for once, actually finish all her paperwork without dumping it on her sister, Chrys, or Moonie (which was an amazing feat in itself). Now, she was eager to read the letter that Twilight had sent her; it was a fairly large scroll, as well, so it promised to be a rather large friendship report. Or, a lot of charts and a bunch of rambling about some new discovery that Twilight made; while Celestia enjoyed responding to Twilight's latter letters, she always had to add 'please, send discoveries to the scientists of Canterlot' at the end of her reply. After all, she didn't really want to read a few hours worth about a new discovery that her student made; that was for the scientists to discuss, and she really didn't want to be weighed down with more work, trying to figure out what her student sent her and what she could possibly say that made her sound intelligent. Let's see what I got in store for me this time... Dear Princess Celestia, I've made a new friend recently! Well, I think. You see, she's...Still a bit hostile towards me. That's okay, though! We're all trying our best to make sure she fits right in Ponyville, even if she caused a few problems for us. Meet Trixie, Tia! A showmare with a talent for doing lots of unbelievable tricks! She came by one day, asking if she could borrow my phone to make a call, so, of course, I let her in and let her use the phone! We talked for a bit after she made her call, and it turns out we have quite a few things in common! We both enjoy reading books, writing is the devil (thank goodness I have Spike to write for me!), we both love the Warrior cat series, and like our tea with two sugar-cubes and cinnamon! Ponyville has had trouble with Trixie in the past, but we've dealt with whatever trouble came our way quickly. Apparently, she has a rivalry with me! I suppose that isn't too hard to believe; I did show her up a few times, and generally, unicorns do get sensitive when comparing magical power with one another, but it's still a bit hard to think that somepony considers me as their rival. I swear, I don't mean to one-up you in any way, shape or form! She understands my concern, though; she calmed me down by saying she only had a friendly rivalry with me (after the incident with the alicorn amulet), so that's good. I'm not exactly sure how to describe her personality; she takes some of the best and worst qualities of my friends all together, and then some. She's...Err, as rude and out-going as Rainbow Dash, has a keen eye for detail like Rarity when it comes to her work, has the same determination in working hard just like Applejack to improve her magic, gets excited and bouncy like Pinkie Pie over pocky (based on one of the letters you've told me warning me away from Canterlot and saying why, I'm sure Trixie will get along with Moonie and Lulu!), and has an extremely shy side like Fluttershy! As for some of her personal quirks, she seems to speak in third-pony (though, only in public; in private company among friends, she speaks just like any other pony). I'm not exactly sure what to make of her; she's a lot different from any pony I've met. Trixie doesn't have a place to stay at in Ponyville, so I, naturally, offered to let her sleep in the library! In hindsight, though, it probably wasn't a very logical idea. Unfortunately, there's no guest bedrooms (I live in a tree meant for one librarian, one!), so we have to share the bed together. It's pretty awkward! Especially when Trixie suddenly hugged me like a teddy bear. I thought I was going to die from lack of air, but thankfully, that didn't happen! Sheesh, who knew she was going to be so clingy. Oh, and, as I'm having Spike write this letter for me (who is currently gagging at the thought of Trixie hugging me like a teddy bear), Trixie came up and asked who I was sending a letter to. Upon mentioning that it was to you, she had a rather curious look on her face, and then asked if she could make a response to you, once I was done having Spike write whatever it was for me. She also asked that I leave for awhile, as she wanted to relay something private to you. I'm bemused by whatever she intends to say, but I'm sure it doesn't concern me if she's asking me to leave her alone with Spike. I'm not sure what else I can have Spike write for me, so I suppose after the line-break underneath this paragraph, it'll be Trixie speaking, and not me. P.S: I need more assignments! Hello, Princess Celestia. I...I'm not sure about any proper way of making this seem like an informal letter to you, but Twilight did mention once that you liked things informal and being referred to as 'Tia' instead of your full title of 'Princess Celestia the first and only solar alicorn of Equestria that has an insatiable appetite for slurpees and other sugary goodness so Faust help you if you dare get in the way', so I'll do just that. I'm...Trixie Lulamoon. I'm not a special pony like Twilight or you, but I'd like to think I was somewhat important, even though I'm just a travelling showmare. Looking up at what Twilight has written, she has more or less described me by comparing my traits to the rest of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, so I suppose I'll skip on describing myself, because that would just be terribly redundant and waste space on the scroll (which has very little room left for Spike to write on). I also see that she mentioned that she was leaving because I asked her to. There's...A reason for that, and I sincerely hope Spike here can keep a secret from who is effectively his mother. I know that I told Twilight that our rivalry (which was also mentioned; geez, I want to explain some things too, you know!) was friendly, but it's also much, much more than that. Ew! Spike just thought I was going to say that I love your student because of our rivalry! He must have been reading too many mushy, cliche, trashy romance stories. I swear, that genre of books needs to be banned. What, was I going to ask for advice for you on how to deal with Twilight next? Anyway, no, I do not have a romantic interest in your student. I do, however, have another interest in her, and it, of course, relates to that friendly rivalry mentioned earlier. Every time we interact with each other, we try to one-up each other with little, creative magical tricks (Spike considers it flirting...), not with the intent to embarrass the other, but more of a way to surprise the other with what we can do. Your student can do many things, Tia! She is, however, lacking in creativity; I'm sure you've noticed this in your student at some point, but if not, I'll be blunt. She is terribly unimaginative in how she applies her magic; there's no flair, no sparkles (please don't smite me for making an unintentional pun out of your student's name), and just does everything she can to make an extremely professional show of magic that lacks in style and flair. I was thinking...Do you think you could send her a project that requires the magical prowess of two ponies, and requires for practical magical application as well as creativity? I realize that it sounds like I'm one of your students asking for an extra-credit assignment...As much as I wish that I was one of your students, I know that's probably well out of my magical power. I just want Twilight to realize that she could do so many amazing things with her magic by putting in just a little more creativity in her spells, because right now she has absolutely little regard to the more creative side of magic. Personally, I wonder if Rarity has ever tried to convince her to be more expressive with her magic, but if she has, I don't think it worked for Twilight. I understand that this must be a very odd request, and that you're under no obligation to send Twilight sometime 'creative' to do, but I think it would do wonders for her. Just a thought from a friend of hers (wow, it' certainly been a short but eventful journey, from becoming a rivalry that totally, utterly hates her to a rivalry that's mostly just friendly ribbing at one another). Sincerely, Trixie Lulamoon and Twilight Sparkle (and a tired Spike) P.S: Spike, here. I don't really have much to say about what Trixie said since most of it is true, but I really do have to be blunt about one thing. You really should have encouraged Twilight to write on her own; I was right in the middle of playing a video game with the Cutie Mark Crusaders when she asked me to take a letter, and then Trixie jumped in with something she had to say, too! It's...Kind of sad, to realize that one of the most powerful unicorns (if not the most powerful unicorn in Equestria right now) can't write to save her life. P.S.S: Again, this is Spike. As an afterthought, do the Pegex check these letters? Just wondering, because Twilight is beginning to work on magic runes, and her results so far have been...Explosive. I'm worried Twilight will send you a few of these runes one day and some pegasus from Pegex will get hurt from them, causing Pegex to declare an Equestria-wide ponyhunt on Twilight and me. A thoughtful Celestia set down the scroll beside her, thinking heavily upon Trixie Lulamoon's words. A very interesting letter I have gotten, indeed! Now that I think about it, Twilight Sparkle has never been extremely creative with her work. Or good at writing, but I think that's another matter that requires proper care at a later date, and so is Pegex. Anyway, all of her projects sent back to me have very little in the personal touches that I've come to recognize from my students over the years, and I dare think that she doesn't have any, aside from her frantic insanity that occurs when she believes that she's tardy, which I would not exactly count as a 'nice touch'. I suppose it's certainly better than the coffee stains that Starswirl always had on his reports, but not by much, if at all, actually. I have to say, you are a very observant unicorn, Trixie... Smiling slightly, she knew just what to do. The answer is quite obvious; I'll have Twilight assist Rarity and Trixie with their work! I'm sure she'll learn the art of creativity from those two, who make their entire living off of it. Who knows? Maybe it'll be a huge success. Reaching over for a quill, Celestia began writing a return letter to Twilight Sparkle and Trixie Lulamoon, jotting down the details of a rather specific assignment for the three unicorns to work together on. Who knows, they might just impress her with something completely unexpected. Author's Note In all these chapters I still haven't made a chapter that's based around Twilight sending Celestia a letter I'm not entirely sure what the point of all this was Militarized mail, go No Twilight x Trixie here ~~But there will be Twilight x Trixie x Rarity~~ Possible foreshadowing of another chapter?! Let's break it, Lulu!Let's break it, Lulu! It's quiet. It's barren. It's where I was once locked up inside of, for eight-hundred years. It's the moon. Luna looked around the landscape, though there was nothing to see that would have interested a pony (unless they held a profession that was related to rocks, and even then, they would not enjoy the landscape very much because they would be struggling to breathe in an airless environment). Yet, for it being void of life and any material other than dirt, rock, and the few ice crystals given by comets passing by, this was where Luna made her home, once she broke free of Celestia's bonds. I wonder what would have happened if I had simply gone down and confronted my sister the moment I broke free from the bonds holding me inside the moon. Contrary to what everypony believed about what happened, Luna was not held within her moon for the exact one-thousand years her sister sentenced her to; magical bonds weaken over time if they are not renewed, and she was an immensely powerful alicorn, so very few bonds could be made to hold her for any length of time, no matter the source of the magic even if it was boosted by the Elements of Harmony. Even so, Luna was weak, so very weak; to attack Celestia directly after freeing herself was just suicidal, and she needed to train herself to become stronger than her sister, who, despite not having thrown a single attack at her sister, was so much stronger than her, which Luna had only realized when she was first imprisoned in the moon. It said much about Celestia, who could have an entire mountain drop upon her, and only feel a little winded after such an impact. There was nothing to do on the moon, as it was devoid of, well, everything. Having nothing else to do to occupy her time, she figured that if her sister bested her in combat once she returned, she could retreat to the moon and hide under a shelter of some sorts until she regained her strength to challenge her again. Luna did just that, and it took only a week to dig out a small bunker which was carefully well hidden. Luna was satisfied with that little bunker. For two days. Luna thought such a small bunker could be located by her sister's ever-sharp eyes and bombarded with her sister's exploding lances of light (or some other spell to force her out from that bunker), so in order to counter such an attack, Luna set off on making more bunkers, as a way to distract her sister for a few more seconds. Again, once finished, she was satisfied for a little while. Eventually, however, Luna got the feeling that it still wasn't enough. Constantly, Luna thought more about what her sister could do, the possibilities that she had, the magic that could rain down upon her fortifications. Countless years went by as Luna toiled on the moon's surface, gathering what few materials she had to improve her defense system for one as best she could. The passage of time blurred as building materials were shaped, placed, and reinforced with magic, safe areas to hide in were carefully hidden, an underground tunnel system was made, connecting between bunker to bunker, and even an arena to face off against her sister in, in the case that she could no longer run and had to fight to the bitter end. Once she felt she was satisfied with her work, she took to the skies to observe her work, and she was shocked by what she made. With a slight smile, Luna walked up into the palace she made, one that she thought could rival the castle she was currently living in, if the moon could support life. As it could not, she knew it was forced to take second place, but surely her work of art could be considered very grand, if also very old in terms of design; being forced away from civilization, she had to use old building techniques and designs that weren't exactly the best, and upon returning to her palace, she knew that there was a lot she could have done better. Still, this was her masterpiece; a shame that it's intended purpose was merely as a shelter against magic, because it could have looked so much better. Reaching out, Luna placed a hoof upon a wall of her palace, feeling the cold, hard rock and dust that made up the wall. Suddenly, she spoke; she had always felt better when admitting things out loud. She wasn't sure why, but it just made things easier for her. "There's...Nothing, just rocks and dust. That's all I used, with some ice crystals scattered around. Regardless, that's what I used to make you from day one. From simple bunker to gigantic palace, every little thing I made was from dust and rock. Would you look much better if I had more resources? Would you still be the large, cold palace upon which I looked down upon Equestria with disdain and hatred?" Despite having been all she knew for years until her return, even she could not answer the questions that she asked, and the wall wasn't going to speak its mind anytime soon. Looking around the area, Luna spread her hooves out wide, with a slight smile on her face. "Even though I have only intended you as a shelter against magical bombardment, you were home. You became what I temporarily lost, and for that, I thank you. I've spent years, thinking, training, and most of all, longing to return home. I have not given you the kind treatment that I should have, often punching through walls and causing half my fortifications to crumble from my rage, after which I would then panic and then re-do all the fortifications, making them stronger so that they would not so easily break next time. None of that concern was on making it look a pretty, appealing place to live in. Perhaps if I tried...I would have calmed down, and realized just how folly my actions were." Pausing in her monologue, Luna walked out of the current room she was in to enter her own throne room (which was incredibly bland in appearance), and frowned slightly at the sight of her throne. "Many hours I've spent, sitting on that throne, plotting my revenge and expressing my desire to take over Equestria to myself that I lost sight of what was truly important to me. I thought of destruction and violence, submission from my sister and total power over Equestria. I did not remember that first and foremost, I was plotting revenge on my sister. My sister. To think that I was once so eager to fight her, to best her over a stupid throne that we both shared anyway is...So barbaric. I only hope that Tia can forgive me for what I've attempted to do." The short silence that came after Luna's words was shattered by slow clapping, coming from behind her. Nothing approaches me in my domain without my consent! Whirling around, Luna prepared to take down the intruder that dared approach her, only to lower the haymaker she was about to throw once she saw that the intruder was none other than Nightmare Moon, who smiled slightly. ...Unless it's with the entity that I shared a body with, once upon a time. Luna stared blankly at Nightmare Moon, who returned the gaze back with a slight smile. One of the stares from the alicorns was filled with conflicting ideas of what to do with the other, who she had shared a body and a palace together, and the other was simply regarding her counterpart with a level gaze, as if daring her to speak. Luna was the first to break off the stare, and sighed as she looked around the throne room, trying to avoid meeting Nightmare Moon's eyes. "Why are you here, Moonie?" "I lived here too, once upon a time, you know. I have as much right to be here as you do, Lulu." Such an answer does not answer my question. Ugh...I swear, you're worse than Tia, and she dodges so many questions. With a groan, Luna frowned flatly, trying to convey the idea that she was extremely displeased to the other lunar alicorn. "You know what I mean, Moonie. How long were you listening to my monologue?" Thankfully, if one thing could be said about Nightmare Moon, it was that she was very truthful if asked very bluntly. "I've been here long before you came by, and so I have been listening in on you, as you grabbed at my curiosity very quickly, having not visited the moon ever since I was purged from you; forgive me if it troubles you." With a grunt, Luna shook her head. "It's...Fine, I guess." With slow steps, she walked up to the throne, followed closely by Nightmare Moon. Hesitantly, Luna added, "I...Have to say, your presence somewhat comforts me here, and...I do need advice." "On how to simply let go of all those memories you've had here?" Nightmare Moon was also very quick to guess at what was troubling a pony. Unfortunately she was also very correct, most of the time. Luna grimaced as she sat down in front of the throne, and nodded once. "Yes. Though, of course, I can't completely let go of all these memories...That would require a thorough purge of my memories, and even then, I doubt I'd be able to fully forget everything that's happened here. No; I just want to...bury some of these memories behind, to give myself a sense of peace. This place haunts me sometimes...It's like a pyramid, standing tall even after all the years pass by, serving as a reminder of the time period they were built in, and built for a specific purpose. This palace is like this pyramids, only...There is no purpose to this palace, the reminder it gives hurts me deeply, and it has not suffered from erosion like the pyramids have, so it still stands tall after all these years, a sharp reminder of who I once was." "...Ever thought about writing poetry?" The look given by Luna told Nightmare Moon that she was close to getting her rump booted off the moon, which would hurt, and Nightmare Moon didn't like hurt. She also wanted her dignity intact. "Okay, I'm sorry! ...Mostly. Anyway, what is it exactly that hurts the most for you, Lulu? I think I can guess based on your monologue, but humor me." What...Hurts the most? Many things hurt for me on the moon, but...If I had to chose something... Luna looked up at the throne, and a rush of nostalgia came back to her as she remembered all the time she spent sitting on the throne. "The throne, no question about it, Moonie. There's nothing more that hurts more than this throne I've sat on, plotting day in, day out, never realizing how blind I was." I guessed as much. I just hope she likes the solution that I know is almost absolutely foul-proof and is sure to guarantee instant relief for Lulu. Probably. I've been wrong before. "I see. It also holds a lot of pain for me, and so...Let's break it, Lulu!" Break...It? The throne...? The very violent and sudden thought appealed to Luna very much, and Nightmare Moon did not have to wait long before Luna sat up, and smiled at her. "I think I'd like that, Moonie. Can I...Say something first, though, before we crush it? I mean, even though it only really has bad memories, I can't help but think I'm losing a large part of myself by doing this." With a slight nod, Nightmare Moon stepped back, giving her counterpart some room. "Go ahead, Lulu; I've said my goodbyes more than enough on my past few visits, so I have nothing more that I could possibly say." I must remember to ask you about your visits...You've interested me in whatever you might have said. Filing away Nightmare Moon's visits away carefully, Luna took a good, hard look at her throne, before whispering five words. "So long, this is goodbye..." Author's Note Moon palace! Luna and Nightmare Moon are quite the builders Luna and Nightmare Moon bonding Except it's not because they're breaking glorified chairs made of rock You got incoming, Tia! (Cupcake assault on the castle Arc)You got incoming, Tia! (Cupcake assault on the castle Arc) Heartstrings, do you believe in love at first sight? I have a brick in my purse if anypony tries to make a 'move' on me. ...I'll take that as a no, then. Minuette and Heartstrings were currently disguised as normal, everyday unicorns (which was a far harder thing to perform than it actually was; you had to order the typical Canterlot food ordered by unicorns, have the 'normal' Canterlot attitude that many ponies disliked, and eat in the Canterlot way, which was daintily and with comments about how expensive the meal was) having lunch together, with one of Vinyl Scratch's softer tunes playing in the background. They were simply on a routine stealth patrol through the city, and nothing exciting had happened so far on the patrol. Nothing excited had really happened at all, in fact, once the contract was renewed for the modern day Equestria. Of course, that was somewhat expected; after all, Equestria was not the safe place it currently is, a thousand years ago, and it was far better that nothing happened. However, they had expected a something to do, at least a bar fight, or perhaps a thief trying their luck! Alas, they had nothing to test their skills as Background Ponies. Minuette sipped at her drink, feeling despair well up inside of her. Equestria is boring now. Nothing exciting happens! It's always the Elements of Harmony that solves everything, which makes our job so boooooooooring! Yep. I'm beginning to think that we might not be needed anymore. So...Wait. I see some suspicious activity going on right now. Out of the corner of her left eye, Heartstrings saw a rather peculiar sight, one that she hoped meant that something exciting was going to happen. Look, over there; there's a pony, dressed in black, most likely a unicorn from the hat they're wearing, as there seems to be a slight protrusion that suggests a horn. I am unable to currently confirm if they are stallion or mare from this distance, though if I had to hazard a guess I would most likely say that the pony is a stallion, with that large body build. Minuette looked around for the pony that Heartstrings described, though she quickly saw that it was a lost cause to even try and begin searching for this pony. She turned her head around to stare at her partner flatly. The only problem I see with your analysis is the fact that black clothing covering the entire body seems to be the latest fashion trend, Heartstrings, so I am unable to locate this pony. Urgh, it's so...Painful to see ponies trying to make themselves stand out with black of all colours of the rainbow. Heck, it isn't even a colour! With a groan, Heartstrings slapped Minuette across the face (causing her partner to wince from the sudden pain and cause a few ponies to raise a few brows at them), and pointed over towards Canterlot square. The one standing on the soapbox, you twit. Sensing that they were being watched, Heartstrings made up an excuse on the spot. "You, dear, have absolutely no taste for the finer food in Canterlot! Don't lie, I can see you don't find satisfaction in that absolutely gorgeous salad!" Thankfully, the ponies were interested in the little slap that occurred rolled their eyes and went back to their own meal, deeming the action as 'high class ponies acting dumb'. Was that really necessary? I can't argue with the fact that I actually don't enjoy the salad, though; seriously, this thing is disgusting. With a sigh, Minuette stared out towards the pony Heartstrings described, and sure enough, there was a pony dressed exactly as Heartstrings described on a soapbox, who seemed to be gathering a crowd around him, with most of them similarly dressed up like the pony on the soapbox, with black clothing covering up the majority of their body. Yes, yes it was necessary because you can't look with that pathetic excuse you call eyesight. It's also not like I have much to work with, other than the fact that you really do don't seem to like the overpriced salad that I TOLD you not to buy since we both knew it was going to be expensive, plastic-tasting garbage. Any insult in retaliation to Heartstrings was held back as the pony on the soapbox began speaking out. "Brothers, sisters, gather around, for I have prepared a short speech!" That voice...It's that same stallion from last week, isn't it, that came up on a soapbox and began preaching something about the moon? Suddenly disinterested in whatever the stallion had to say, Minuette nodded. Most likely, unfortunately. "We are gathered here today to witness the beginning of what will be a glorious revolution that will change Equestria forever! We are going to take down the tyrant that dare calls herself a princess! For too long, the sun tyrant has ruled over Equestria, and has changed society to fit her own needs when her sister was shoved out of the way! Day in, day out, for countless years, we have been forced to toil endlessly without rest for the sun tyrant's own vision of what she thought was necessary for Equestria! So much of our economy goes to funding projects that are of no use, such as her cake bunker! Who needs a bunker for cake?! I don't, and I intend to change that today, with your help! Many of you have looked forward to the time where you could sleep underneath the cold, beautiful moon, to the time where we can relax and rest our tired bodies before needing to return to work in the terrible, blistering sun for a tyrant that cares not for her subjects! Well, no more, I say! No more to having to work underneath such terrible conditions in the accursed daylight! With the return of our lunar matriarch, that gives us all the reason to begin our take over of Canterlot and to show all who doubt us who the rightful ruler of Equestria truly is!" The stallion's words were drowned out by a mass cheering, which gave Heartstrings and Minuette some time to relay thoughts to each other. Ugh. He really needs to get off his soapbox, and I mean that literally and figuratively. I'm not interested in him spewing the same hay he's been spouting off for the past few days. I mean, he could take a night-shift or something, instead of...Spouting out nonsense that ponies are unfortunately believing. Whatever happened to common sense? Heartstrings turned back over to her food, munching on some pasta she had ordered, before she realized that there might be an event connected to this speech. Wait. I'm a bit worried...Wasn't there a mob that stormed Fancy Pants' mansion to 'secure funds' for a 'war machine' or something like that just three days ago, with ponies all dressed in black, screaming badly-written poetry about Lulu as their battle-cry? Yes, however, apparently Fleur routed the entire mob that advanced upon the mansion with nothing more than a spatula and a battle-cry, while Fancy Pants was right beside her the entire time, brandishing a mop at would-be aggressors who dared approach them with amazing skill. They did say, though, that some of their funds have been taken, though not a large amount by any means. I have to say, I'm not sure what I'm more amazed by, the fact that two unicorns were able to successfully fend off a large mob with nothing more than a spatula, a mop and some magic, or the fact that this stallion and his accomplices are still not in jail, as both are quite the accomplishment. You think Fancy Pants and Fleur would make good Background Ponies? Heartstrings set aside the ponies in black in the back of her mind, and mulled over the idea of Fancy Pants' and Fleur becoming background ponies like themselves; for once, she didn't know what would be an appropriate answer for these ponies in question, as they presented an interesting circumstance. ...I'm not entirely sure if I should make the call here, Minuette. The old contract forbade the princesses to recruit married couples as there was a chance that they might feel more compelled to save their partner's life over the greater duty of protecting Equestria. Of course, I'm unsure if the new contract has that same little rule inside of it, but until I look over it, we should not attempt to offer them the invitation. This time, it was Minuette who smacked Heartstrings, with an irritated look on her face, which also ended up gathering a little bit of attention. You're dumb, Heartstrings, and you should feel dumb for saying that because you obviously haven't done your research on potential ponies. They're brother and sister, Heartstrings, not a married couple. "You tell me that I do not find my satisfaction in this salad, yet I see you not paying very much attention to your pasta yourself!" Minuette heard murmurs of 'typical unicorns' and 'fussy eaters', and sighed inwardly, glad that attention was once again off of them. While it was a bit sad to know that she had to act like this, Minuette knew that she had to act like the 'typical' unicorns in order to blend in easier. A sheepish-looking Heartstrings rubbed her muzzle softly, wondering how she could have confused the two as being a couple. Really? Hmph, well, that's...Embarrassing for me, to see that I confused them for being married. Though, not as much as your excuse, because I actually happen to LIKE my pasta. With a sigh, Minuette picked up a breadstick, slathering some seasoning salt over the breadstick before munching on it. Don't flatter me too much, I might think you're actually hitting on me instead. I...Oh, look, the crowd is quietening down again and the stallion looks like he's getting ready to speak again. "Brothers, sisters! Today, we march for the castle!" The stallion held up a cupcake, and to Heartstrings' and Minuette's surprise, the mob all held up some kind of baked confectionery, and even some ponies on the sidelines that weren't dressed in black held up a sort of baked good. They then began marching up the road to the castle in a surprisingly well-trained manner, and began singing badly-written poetry, about three-thousand ponies strong in force. Minuette plugged her ears up with her hooves, unable to listen to such terrible noise. I really hate poetry. Anyway, I think Celestia is about to have a very bad day very soon if we don't warn her, her sister, and the royal guard about the mob that's about to try and perform a repeat of the events that happened a thousand years ago, just with a smaller number of ponies and with baked goods rather than weapons. "Do you not think that ponies could not sing much worse?" With a nod, Heartstrings reached over for a napkin, and daintily wiped at her mouth, looking over at he crowd with disdain. "Indeed; they must be poor since they seem to have had no singing lessons! Such dreadful noise!" ...Ignoring the fact that you think I'm hitting on you, no kidding, I'm pretty sure nopony wants to deal with an angry mob right after lunch, even if they're an all-powerful alicorn that could wipe the floor with them, literally. I'll start an automated message to all Background ponies in the area; you go ahead get a head-start on giving out a warning on what's going to happen to everypony in the castle, so we have more time to prepare our defenses. Roger, roger. Be safe, Heartstrings, I won't be here to bail you out if you get into trouble, as usual. I'm setting the time for fifty-nine minutes, as I normally do, but I'm expecting you to be at the castle in thirty, in case something goes horribly wrong in the past and I need to bail out quickly. Minuette quickly looked around to ensure that nopony was watching, then disappeared in a muted flash, leaving in her place a small, antique clock that was fifty-nine minutes behind the current time, complete with a necklace that suggested that it could be wrapped around a pony's neck. Reaching over, Heartsrings picked up the antique clock, and attached the clock around her neck, which, in reality, was Minuette's anchor to the present; once she had finished travelling fifty-nine minutes in the past or felt like she could return safely to the present, the clock would light up, telling Heartstrings that she had roughly twenty seconds to throw the clock on the floor and watch as Minuette popped back into the present. Failure to do so in time caused Minuette to 'spawn' back into the present directly a foot above her...Which disoriented both unicorns as they would soon be in a tangled heap with one another. I wonder what travelling through time is like; it's a pretty interesting power, all things considered, and it seems like it would be extremely useful, indeed, with the power to sway ponies into other decisions that they normally would have never thought of. Heartstrings took a moment to muse over the possibilities before sighing. Eh, seems dumb and too complicated, with its limitations and all. If only it didn't have them, it would be quite an amazing power! I suppose those limitations are there to prevent Minuette from doing too much harm, though. Anyway, time to start on sending out that message. Heartstrings left the cafe in a relaxed manner, though her mind was anything but relaxed, as she sent out a mental alert to all Background Ponies in the area that would repeat itself. Attention, all Background Ponies located in the Canterlot area or in a nearby sector, we are about to come under attack, I repeat, we are about to come under attack! A mob roughly three-thousand strong is armed with cupcakes and other baked goods. Yes, I said baked goods. That's not the point, however! They will easily overwhelm the royal guard in sheer numbers if we don't stop them, as most of the royal guard is stationed in the Crystal Empire to help stabilize the peace. Our rendezvous point will be in the Grand Hall, where we will discuss potential strategies for dealing with this mob. This message will repeat in five seconds. Having sent out the automated message that would quickly bring together any Background Ponies rushing to their aid, Heartstrings began making her way to the castle as quickly as she could without bringing any attention to herself. You got incoming, Tia! I just hope that we can stomp this senseless rebellion quickly before anypony gets hurt... Author's Note Say hi to another arc This is my take on poking a little fun at the whole 'Lunar Republic' and 'Solar Empire' thing, just like how I poked fun at shipping The Background Ponies will save the day! Maybe! Happy Thanksgiving It's nothing to worry about, Lulu!It's nothing to worry about, Lulu! I'm worried; it's not like Lulu to up and disappear suddenly. She did mention that she was going to go out, but it's been an entire day since she left! Surely she doesn't need that much time away from the castle, even if it's inhabited by crazy alicorns like ourselves. As Celestia was thinking about whatever plight may have befallen her sister, over to her right, Cloud Kicker was munching on a bowl of popcorn, while Sassaflash on her left was playing Ponymon X, both of them clearly not worrying about whatever might have happened to Luna, Minuette, and Heartstrings, the latter two having accompanied Luna on what was supposed to be a short trip to a nearby mall to obtain a slurpee. A movie was playing in front of her, though Celestia didn't pay any attention to it, as focused on worrying about her sister as she was. The complete lack of anypony else worrying other than her baffled Celestia, who was fretting over whatever might have happened to her sister and the Background Ponies. Unable to bear it any longer, Celestia spoke up. "Erm...Should we try to find Luna, Heartstrings and Minuette? They've been gone for an entire day, and I'm getting a little worried about them." The answer Celestia received was not one that she wanted or expected, as Cloud Kicker belched loudly, causing Sassaflash to wince. "Kicky...You're so disgusting." "What? The popcorn tastes like buttery heaven, and I heard that you can show your appreciation for good food by burping very loudly. I'm doing just that!" "Please!" The two background ponies looked up at Celestia, who had made the outcry and was obviously in distress right now. "I'm worried about Luna and your comrades! Shouldn't we be trying to help them?! They could be in danger right now while we're just sitting here on a sofa!" "Doubtful." Sassaflash said, returning to her game. "At the very most, Luna is very scared right now while Minuette and Heartstrings are trying to calm her down over the unbelievable phenomenon she just witnessed, so there isn't really any real need to go out and find them; besides, we still got a mental link to Heartstrings and Minuette, and they're fine, so there's no need to worry about them for now, assuming Minuette and Heartstrings are still the amazing ponies they were a thousand years ago. I have no reason to doubt them now, and they haven't contacted us for help, so there's no need to worry about them." I forget about that mental link so many times...And it is true that Minuette and Heartstrings are extremely capable ponies. However, what phenomenon is she speaking of? Confused, Celestia tried to think of any supernatural phenomena that would occur in Canterlot that would only scare Luna and not the rest of Canterlot, who seemed to not be afraid of whatever Luna currently was in. In the end, she was completely stumped for an answer, as the ponies of Canterlot could easily be excited by simply blowing bubbles in their general direction. "What do you mean, Sassaflash? I know not of any phenomena that would scare Luna and not the rest of Canterlot, and I'm sure you know just how excitable some Canterlot ponies can be." Cloud Kicker set down the mostly-empty bowl of popcorn, and exchanged a sad glance with Sassaflash before looking up at the worried alicorn seated between them. "Tia...You...Do know what day its today, right?" Duh? I'm not drunk, sleepy, or under the influence of anything that might cloud my judgement, which, sadly, seems to happen far too often to me nowadays. "...Friday. What does that have to do with anything, Cloud Kicker? I didn't notice anything unusual." Sassaflash sighed, and took a moment to wonder how Celestia of all ponies did not know what made this Friday special. How could she just notice today? It had been set in place for years, and Celestia, of all ponies, didn't notice what happened to Canterlot and other major shopping areas in Equestria? Such a thing boggled Sassaflash's mind. "Well, you see..." "...It's Black Friday." Luna was currently holed up in a hotel room with Minuette (who had just stated the name of the terror she just went through), and Heartstrings (who was snoring loudly on the bed). They were unable to make their way back to the castle last night due to a sudden flood of ponies and changelings in Canterlot beginning to run around like crazy, shoving each other out of the way in order to reach various stores. Minuette had quickly diverted them into a hotel, and they had spent the night there. However, upon awaking, Luna saw that there was still a massive crowd of ponies and changelings outside; in fact, it looked like it only got bigger since last night! "Black Friday? It sounds like a terrible day indeed! What must I do in order to stop the madness that has befallen the ponies and changelings outside?!" "Erm. As bad as it sounds, Black Friday isn't actually a very bad event at all." "Not bad?!" Luna promptly got up from the sofa she was sitting on, and strode on over to a nearby window, pulling the blinds up. The first (and only) thing Minuette and Luna saw was a sea of ponies running around through Canterlot. "In all my years, I have never seen so many ponies and changelings packed in Canterlot!" I really wish Lulu would take the time to learn a little bit more about the new things that happened during her one-thousand year absence instead of having fun and goofing off with the other alicorns. Minuette's thought process was interrupted when a very cranky-sounding Heartstrings began speaking through their telepathic link. Minuette...Please...For your love of me...Find the screeching cat and make it go 'way...I wanna sleep... ...There is no cat, and there is no love, Heartstrings. ...Ugh, must be Luna, then...And w-what do you mean no love for me, I'm a perfectly lovable, huggable, snuggable cuddly pony! Heartstrings yawned as she dropped down from the ceiling of the hotel room where she had spent the night (a habit she picked up from some bat-ponies), and instead of landing on her feet much like a cat would and without much pain at all, she instead collided with Minuette painfully, causing both ponies to fall to the floor in a tangled heap full of pain. OW. I knew! I knew something like this would happen, because it happens almost every single time she sleeps on the ceiling! Land on Luna next time! A very annoyed Minuette was but an inch from smacking her partner absolutely senseless, and it was only the fact that she needed Heartstrings to help her defend Luna from any possible threats that she did not do so immediately. "For the love of...Get OFF, Heartstrings!" "...Heck of a way to wake up..." Heartstrings murmured as she got off Minuette, and offered her a hoof. Minuette grudgingly accepted it, and looked over at Luna, who was looking at the two with some amusement. "Well...That was...A nice distraction. The distraction cannot last forever, however! You cannot say that there is no solution to this; there must be something that I can do! Tia must have had some method to ensure that something like this does not get out of hoof! Tell me what I must do to cleanse Canterlot of this madness!" Heartstrings stepped up to Luna's side at the window, wondering what she was making a fuss over. Upon seeing the massive crowds running around to and fro outside, she gave a low whistle, always having been amazed by crowds of this magnitude that this day always seemed to bring. "Oooooooh, that's one heck of a Black Friday crowd gathered in Canterlot today!" Luna stamped a hoof insistently, causing the two Background Ponies to look at her. "You two keep mentioning this 'Black Friday'! I know not what it is, and you two keep mentioning it like I'm supposed to know! Tell me, this very instant, what Black Friday means, and why I should not be worried about the ponies and changelings out there, because it looks like it's the end of the world, with how they rush about!" Tia, you need to supervise Luna's learning...She's obviously not learning anything. Sighing, Minuette tried to ignore the slight pain in her back due to her failure of being unable to support a falling Heartstrings, and began to explain a little bit more about Black Friday to Luna. "Calm down! It's nothing to worry about, Lulu! Black Friday is the Friday right after Thanksgiving; at around this time, companies are in the 'black', which means that they are making profit, compared to being in the 'red', where they usually reside in for the rest of the year. It is a tradition of sorts to put items up on sale at incredibly low prices on this day, and lots of ponies enjoy shopping on this particular day. That is why it's called Black Friday, and it's also why we have a crowd outside that could easily start a riot, but as long as there are plenty of items for them to buy in the stores, we should be fine." Well, that has cleared up things for me. As much as it troubles me to see such a large crowd outside, as long as it seems to be a 'tradition', I suppose there's nothing I can do about it. With a sigh, Luna watched the ponies outside scramble around, like bees in a hive. "Very well, then, at least I know I have no cause for alarm just yet, as badly as things seem outside. So, this 'Black' Friday, many things are put up on sale today, as you described?" Heartstrings nodded, poorly attempting to stifle a yawn before speaking to Luna. "That's right! We get so many things put on sale on Black Friday at such a low price, it's absolutely unbelievable until you see for yourself! You cannot possibly believe what goes on sale during this time of year, even I can't believe it myself!" Unfortunately, Luna took Heartstrings' words as a challenge. "What? You think I couldn't possibly grasp the idea of things being on sale?! You mock and hurt me, Heartstrings! I shall prove you wrong by facing the crowds myself to get myself breakfast!" After firing off one of her evil glares at Heartstrings, Luna made her way to the door, determined to prove Heartstrings wrong. Minuette quickly got in Luna's way, determined to stop her from leaving the nice, cozy, and safe hotel room they took shelter in, but Luna trampled on her, leaving behind a scared-looking Heartstrings, and a very annoyed and roughed-up Minuette, who looked up at her partner with a glare that rivaled Luna's. "Luna's gone." Heartstrings nodded warily, trying her best to look away from her partner's gaze, to no avail. "...Y-Yeah..." A blue hoof pointed out the window. "Out there. In the crowds." With much work, Heartstrings pulled free from Minuette's chilling gaze, and looked at the window, before turning her gaze over back to her partner. "...So?" Heartstrings got slapped promptly by Minuette before dragged outside of the hotel. Due to the nature of the situation they were in, Minuette sent out a message to Sassaflash and Cloud Kicker, confident that Celestia would be safe alone in the castle with just the Royal Guard, though she took the opportunity to insult her partner first. Heartstrings is useless! USELEEEEEEEESS! Luna is now somewhere in this forsaken crowd and we can't find her now! Grumbling, Heartstrings looked away from Minuette, offended. Meanie. Sassaflash was the first to actually answer Minuette's question, though she responded with another question that sounded very cautious. Uh, you...Lost Luna in the crowds out there, Minuette? Uh, no, I didn't, but Heartstrings did, and now we need help to bring her back before she finds out that slurpees are virtually free today! Well then...I was actually going to ask you for help as well, because, you see...Cloud Kicker here... Cloud Kicker interrupted Sassaflash, and from the sound of her thoughts, was agitated. Look I SWEAR I didn't know she'd take it that way okay?! How was I supposed to know that would happen, of all things?! Minuette stopped dead in her tracks, feeling her blood run cold. ...Tia is out in the crowds, isn't she? There was silence from the two ponies, but Sassaflash managed to muster up the courage to say one word. Yep. For the first time in countless generations of Black Friday, all who were present in Canterlot were still as they paused to shudder and look at one another with fright as a shrill scream of anguish and despair sounded out, by one Minuette. Author's Note Luna witnesses the awesome and terrible sight of Black Friday! Yes I know Black Friday is far away and gone now, I guess I've been taking all this free-time I suddenly got from not writing these stories for granted This was really hard to figure out the ending to because I don't know what I was doing I'll take you on, Tia!I'll take you on, Tia! When preparing for combat with another, it is absolutely vital to judge your opponent carefully before formulating a plan to defeat them, as to avoid being surprised when they pull an unexpected maneuver over you. I, however, only know that Tia has had more culinary sampling over the years than I, which already puts me at an extreme disadvantage. Adding onto the fact that my sister looks confident, I can tell that she isn't worried at all about the upcoming battle. She could, of course, be bluffing; however, she could also be well and truly confident that she will best me in the arena. I have very little doubt about the latter being true; after all, I'm pretty sure it took a lot of pie to give my sister the giant rump she has now; it's practically a weapon of mass destruction! A somewhat worried Luna walked alongside Celestia slowly, trying to gauge her sister's strengths, weaknesses, and possible counter-attacks that she may perform, all for the upcoming challenge that was issued by her sister last night. Luna had been ravenously eating a pie once dinner was eaten, and her sister had made a few remarks that had sparked off an argument between the two. Eventually, in an attempt to prove herself as the better one, Celestia had issued the challenge, and Luna had readily accepted it, though now, Luna was not so sure it was the best course of action she could have taken; after all, the contest was against her sister, who had much more experience in the art of warfare. This challenge was being judged by Rarity, the same judge that was at the dodge-ball competition. She was waiting in the massive dining hall, where pies were located to prove who was the best at eating pie. Okay...Think positive, Luna! I am NOT going to lose this challenge! I'm already humiliated enough by the dodge-ball contest, and I will not have Tia besting me here! Where as she has experience, I have...Uh...Determination! Yeah! My determination to win will triumph over her experience at eating pie! Maybe! The somewhat encouraging pep-talk that Luna gave herself made her feel a little better at the upcoming trial ahead of her, and with that confidence she pushed pass her sister, who rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Oh, look who suddenly feels like they can call the shots, now. You better cool off that hot air you're blowing out, Lulu!" The remark stung Luna, who shot back a retort with much venom in her voice. "Can it, Tia! I'll win this contest and rub it in your face just like you rub cake in your face when no one is looking at you!" ...I'm going to ignore that remark about rubbing cake in my face because it's actually true, and I don't really want to acknowledge the fact that she mentioned it. Celestia raised a brow, attempting to throw her sister off-track by destroying her confidence. "Tell me, why do you feel so confident even though you know you're up against a far more experienced opponent? Do you actually think you have a chance at beating me at a game I have been playing for a long, long time? Don't make me laugh, Lulu, because you just told me a very unfunny joke that is funny when you think too hard about it! That means it's not really a joke at all and complicates things far too much than it should have!" "The only joke being told around here will be you, once I've won this contest, and it will not be a complicated joke that really isn't a joke! You will not laugh at this joke because the joke's on you! I'll take you on, Tia! Don't you dare forget about the humiliating defeat you will soon suffer from me because I certainly won't let you forget about it anytime soon!" Perhaps more retorts would have been exchanged between the two if there was time; however, the last set of doors leading into the great dining hall were a few mere feet in front of them. With a mock curtsy, Luna offered her sister the door. "Oh, pluuuuuh-leeeez, excuuuuuuz moi, yuh can opin dah dooooor fuuuuuuurst, I insiiiiiist!" "What are you, a young foal trying to act like a princess? Well, you are a princess, so cut that out!" Celestia pushed the doors open, revealing a few ponies surrounded by pies of all kinds; the conflicting smells of the combined pies gathered around in such close proximity caused Celestia's sense of smell to go haywire, but she held back her desire to dive into the mountain of pies, and nudged Luna gently. "Let's see who wins this challenge, eh?" The two alicorns slowly made their way towards a small group of ponies, one of which who sighed as she held out a clipboard. "Well, time for another contest, it seems. Of course it had to be now, when I was visiting Canterlot. Such timing! So much I regret! Wow! Rarity, you have the worst timing when it comes to these trips!" "You're already much luckier than us; at least you don't have to actually live with them everyday, it's not even safe to look at them, because something bad happens!" Minuette muttered, looking up at the tower of pies that looked like they would fall upon them. "Speaking of things not being safe, I...Don't think it's safe to just have all these pies on top of one another, it looks like a small breeze could topple all this pie on top of us." Beside the blue unicorn, Heartstrings laughed, waving a hoof over to Luna and Celestia. "Just think of it like jenga, Minuette! Hot, tasty jenga that might crush us under flavourful goodness should we accidentally pick a pie that is out of place and cause an avalanche! I bet you're the one that pulls the wrong pie out!" With a sigh, Minuette looked over at Rarity with despair. "I have the worst partner ever, that gives the worst encouragement ever, with the worst coat colour in existence. I've been doomed from the start." "I'm glad I'm not you, Minuette; I'm bothered enough by Sweetie Belle when she comes back home covered in tree sap; I still don't know how this happens every other day." As Celestia and Luna sat down across from each other, Rarity cleared her throat, and began speaking of the rules of the contest that was about to commence. "Alright...Now, this is not a contest to see who can eat the most pies! At least, not just that, because Princess Celestia would have quite the unfair advantage with her experience. My rules are set on a small variety of things to help even the odds here for Princess Luna, but you will still have an advantage, Princess Celestia. I will be scoring based on your eating form, how quickly you can eat a pie, and your ability to adjust to different flavours of pie on the fly. Literally. Minuette and Heartstrings here will be tossing pies of various flavours at you, and you must catch them with your hooves. There are other things I will be scoring, but are of low point value, such as what you do with the pie tin afterwards. No magic is allowed, and the first to forfeit for whatever reason is the loser, which means I proclaim the other as the winner, unless you both happen to forfeit at the same time, at which I will call a draw and ask to commence the contest at another time, when the chefs feel like baking thousands of pies again. Are you two ready to begin?" With a nod of agreement from both alicorns, Rarity blew on her whistle, beginning the epic pie-eating contest. As instructed, Minuette and Heartstrings flung pies at Celestia and Luna, respectively, with differing results. Celestia caught the pie cleanly, and immediately began munching through it, whereas Luna's attempt was...Not as 'clean'. She did not raise her hooves up as fast as one should have when catching such a delicious projectile, which resulted in the pie splattering across her coat, causing Celestia to snort with laughter as she was eating her pie. Heartstrings tossed another pie at Luna, who managed to catch this pie and begin her task of eating through the pie with much energy, trying to make up for lost time. Rarity watched the two alicorns intently, both of whom were eating through their pies very quickly, messily, and efficiently, each eager to try and outdo the other. So far, there was no clear winner in sight, though she suspected that something eventful would happen soon. "Another pie for Celestia...Another pie for Luna...Another pie for Celestia...Another for...No, wait, Luna smashed her pie into Celestia's face and now a fight is breaking out...Again..." An annoyed Heartstrings looked over at Rarity before tossing another pie at Luna, who caught it gracefully before attempting to bludgeon her sister with it. "Is it really necessary for you to narrate every single thing that happens during this contest?" With a huff of irritation, Rarity watched as the fight broke out, waiting for the two alicorns to stop fighting each other for the tenth time before beginning to tally more information about the pies that they've eaten (and was now beginning to tally how many pies they wasted by using them to attack the other). "It helps me concentrate on the task at hoof!" "Ignore her," Minuette said, tossing another pie for Celestia, who used the pie as a shield from Luna's assault. "Heartstrings just gets annoyed by endless droning about stuff that doesn't need to be repeated, everypony does at some point; though I didn't think that Heartstrings would be so upfront and rude about it. Anyway, how many pies have the two eaten for the contest and wasted in these fights?" "Well," Rarity began, not bothering to take a look down at her clipboard, "Ignoring the outburst your partner made-" Heartstrings interrupted, frowning at the two unicorns. "You gotta admit, it's true!" "...I can't really say for sure because I doubt the two of you will keep track of how many pies the two are slinging around at each other which will throw off my counting rhythm, but I can say with certainty that at least two-hundred pies have been eaten, and about five-hundred of those pies have been wasted in their fighting. We still have about three-thousand pies left in the dining hall, and, assuming that the chefs used their special magical cooking fire that keeps things nice, fresh and warm longer than usual, the contest should run about another hour before the pies begin to grow cold, at which point I will stop the contest because I don't want our princesses to hit each other with pies that are cold and solid like a rock." "Huh," Minuette muttered, tossing another pie into the fray, "I didn't think they used that many pies while fighting each other. I mean, sure, a lot of pies flew, but...five-hundred and counting? They're like big foals." "Once you've considered the foalish things they've done in the past, I'd say your example of them was spot on, Minuette," Heartstrings remarked, pulling out a pie to toss at Luna. In doing so, she heard felt the ground shake slightly, and looked over at the other two unicorns, hoping that they had some idea of what just happened. "You two feel that?" "Hmm?" Minuette looked at her partner, curious as to what she was talking about. "Feel what, Heartstrings?" "The ground shook. Is an earthquake happening?" "...No. I don't think so, otherwise I would have felt it. You're just crazy, Heartstrings." "...Huh." Heartstrings pulled out another pie, and this time, the rumbling was more noticeable and louder, causing Minuette to sigh and rub her head gently with a hoof. If there is anything, anything wrong with my prediction, I'm going to eat a pair of deep-fried socks dipped in ketchup and topped with chocolate ice cream. I hate chocolate ice cream. "Let me guess, Heartstrings, your prediction of our current situation is similar to jenga, which you mentioned earlier, you just so happened to pull out the wrong pie or pies, and we're gonna get buried underneath a bunch of pies, aren't we?" Heartstrings looked up to see the mountain of pies swaying from left to right, and nodded slowly as it began to tip over. "Yep, seems about right, Minuette." Well, it looks like we'll never know if Celestia or Luna is the better pie eater now. "Ugh. I hope this umbrella helps to migrate the damage done to me," Rarity muttered, as she used her magic to unfold an umbrella over herself. "I just bought this thing, too." Upon seeing the looks that Minuette and Heartstrings gave her, she turned her back on them, and watched as the first few pies beginning to make their way towards them. "I must be fabulous, even if I must suffer through this calamity!" Soon, everything was buried underneath pie. Author's Note Pie eating contest Much pie, such amaze, wow No one wins They're all buried underneath a bunch of pie I have no idea what the punchline was supposed to be I quit, Lulu!I quit, Lulu! Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen... Cautiously, Luna moved around in Rainbow Dash's nightmare, attempting to find the source of her terror to put it down for good. Contrary to popular belief of what she did when she dream-walked, she did not actually give ponies their dreams, but rather eradicated their nightmares so that they could possibly get some sleep, and perhaps dream afterwards. She never bothered to correct anypony, as there was simply no need to, and she liked the idea of being able to create dreams; it gave her a sense of power that she enjoyed. Right now, though, this particular nightmare was being too stubborn for her to fix, as she could not find the source of the nightmare that was causing Rainbow Dash's torment. Who knew the pegasus was so afraid of heights? It explained why she liked crashing into the ground so often. Right...Eliminating the tower that she is afraid to jump off of and placing her back on the ground doesn't help...Every time I turn my back, I hear Rainbow Dash screaming for me to stay again, and the tower is right back where it was, with her on top of it. Hmm... Truthfully, Luna did not know what to do in events like this; she knew very little of how a pony's mind worked, and even less of dreams and nightmares, even though this was in her domain of work. Often times she merely wandered around, adjusting various things in a pony's mind to try and 'fix' them, which usually worked. It was always the little things that changed something. A familiar voice behind Luna called out, with an exasperated tone of voice. "You're not going to be able to fix Rainbow Dash's nightmare, Lulu. Trust me, I tried, and nothing seems to work." "Hi Moonie." Turning around, Luna met Nightmare Moon's gaze, and frowned at Nightmare Moon's disheveled appearance. "Ow. Someone has been through the blender. How long have you been in here? You sound and look really tired." Wearily, Nightmare Moon waved her right hoof carelessly around as she tried to remember how long she had stayed in Rainbow Dash's repetitive nightmare. "The blender sucks. I've been here for...About an hour? I can't keep track of time in here. You would be tired, too, if you tried to do everything I did. I swear, this pony is hopeless." Luna leapt up to Rainbow Dash's defense reluctantly, feeling silly about what she was going to say. "Well, I wouldn't exactly say that Rainbow Dash is hopeless..." Nightmare Moon waved her right hood over at Rainbow Dash, who was screaming like a little filly at the top of a three foot tower made out of cardboard. "A pegasus. One that can perform the Sonic Rainboom. Scared. Of. Heights. Oh, she also screams like a little filly, kind like you whenever you lose a game." "That's not true!" "Is too. Remember when I won all those tic-tac-toe games last night?" You're never going to let me forget about that, are you? So what if I lost seventy times in a row, I was just warming up! "Look, as much as you like to bring up bad moments in history that are better off being lost, forever, can we just concentrate on eliminating Rainbow Dash's nightmare?! As silly and dumb as it is, we still need to do our job and move onto the next pony!" Muttering an insult under her breath, Nightmare Moon clapped her hooves together, and a notepad appeared right in front of her. She passed it onto Luna, then sat down on her rump, eager to pass on her work over to Luna as she took a moment to rest. "In addition to my notes of the situation, Rainbow Dash happens to want me to carry her down the tower, and changing the height of the tower does nothing; obviously, the tower seems to be unable to be moved in any way, shape or form, and changing the material of the tower does not seem to work. I've placed trampolines at the bottom, gave Rainbow Dash a parachute, and tried slapping her awake, among other things too numerous to list that you can read for yourself on the notepad. Nothing seems to work." The notes that Nightmare Moon gave Luna were very neat and to the point, which Luna appreciated as she saw that Rainbow Dash's nightmare might be a lot easier to solve than she thought it was going to be. Oh, Moonie...You're a very practical pony, and I respect that, but you clearly have no imagination when it comes to this sort of thing! There's a reason why ponies dream, and it's not about setting fire to their workplace or wishing school was out forever! ...Okay, maybe those examples are pushing it since many ponies do wish that would happen, but nevertheless, you have no creativity when it comes to this! Ponies dream the most unimaginable things with their imagination, and you can't really get rid of their nightmares practically! It's just not possible! "Are...You okay, Luna? You're spacing out. Luna. Luna. Lulu. LULU, ARE YOU STILL WITH ME?" "Huh? Oh...Yeah, I'm fine." Luna tossed the notepad that Nightmare gave her behind her back, and upon landing on the ground, it exploded into confetti, which slowly rose up into the air, and after about five seconds, the confetti turned into butterflies and flew away. "I've read through your notes, an-" Nightmare Moon spoke up over Luna, with a smile on her face. "So you agree with me that Rainbow Dash's nightmare is impossible to fix, and that we should probably just leave her alone for tonight while we find some other ponies to help?" While I would like to simply move on, Rainbow Dash's nightmare should be relatively easy to fix and requires virtually no effort. Heck, I don't think it'll take more than a snap of my hooves! Honestly, I'm surprised you've been here for an entire hour, Moonie. "No, Moonie, I think tha-" "We should take the night off, grab some snacks from the kitchens, and watch random movies for seven hours straight so when Celestia finds us, we'll be trashed and unable to do any work?" For the love of...Well, actually, that does sound appealing, but darn it, Moonie, stop speaking over me! Irritated at being interrupted again, Luna shook her head, and shot a glare at Nightmare Moon. "If you interrupt me again, so help me Faust, I'm going to punch you in the face and then stick a needle in your rump. It's not going to be a small needle either." "Whatever, you don't scare me." So quickly that Luna almost missed it, Nightmare Moon looked behind her, making sure that no abnormally large needle was nearby to make its way into her rump. Okay...Maybe I can actually talk now. First things first, I'll insult you! "Alright...Now, what I'm thinking is that you have been doing everything wrong and have absolutely no imagination at all." Indignantly, and rather predictably, Nightmare Moon stood up, angry at what Luna said. "What?! I have plenty of imagination, thank you very much, little miss Moon butt!" Moon butt?! "Why have you only tried to fix Rainbow Dash's nightmare with practical ways of thinking, then?! You also have a moon on your butt as well, so you're a Moon butt too!" "Uh, I used practical ways to try and fix Rainbow Dash's nightmare because it's logical to fix problems while thinking practically? Most things aren't fixed with imagination, and, well, at least my butt isn't as big as the moon, like yours!" Luna flailed her hooves about, trying to get her point across to Nightmare Moon. "This is a pony's mind! Imagination runs rampant! There's no need to think logically at all!" "Excuuuuuuuuse me, princess, I'm new to the job! I give ponies nightmares, which is really, really easy! I don't go around trying to erase them! We have two similar, but not really the same jobs!" "That's no excuse, now shut up, Tia wanted you to see if you could help me with my work on certain nights, not that I need your help at all! We all had to start somewhere, and probably not with the good working conditions you started training in! I don't like having to share my domain, but it's necessary to make things easier for the both of us; I have yet to create nightmares, and I have no doubt you'll be eager to teach me all about them. Anyway...From what I see from your notes, you haven't tried changing the scene, Moonie." Good conditions? Bah, you smacked my rump around with a two by four made of bread while I was trying to figure out how to fix Tia's 'nightmare' in that practice run last week! I will never look at bread the same way again. Also...Admittedly, yes, I do suppose I'll find teaching you the finer points about nightmares to be very interesting. I have to say, changing the...Scene? Huh? What exactly are you talking about? Nightmare Moon didn't comprehend the general idea of what Luna said she should try, so she made the most intelligent reply that she possibly could in this given situation. "What." "...You simply change the scene, Moonie. You need some creativity for this, which is why I'm not surprised that you've been here for so long. You're such a silly, Moonie." With a glare, Nightmare Moon stepped up into Luna's personal space, growling softly as she uttered a threat. "I take offense to that. A lot of offense. So much offense that you better believe I'm going to take the offense and put you on the defense with my superior offense, which will shatter your inferior defense into so many little pieces." Nightmare Moon then stepped back, and waved a hoof over at Rainbow Dash. "Anyway, what do you mean by changing the scene?" ...I may be in for quite the fight. Nice going, Lulu! "...Well, in some cases, some ponies have too hard a grip on their nightmares to truly respond to any treatment I may provide for them. However, if I change the scene around them into something a little more pleasant, it changes how they might react. For example...Would you rather sleep in a nice, warm, cozy bed, or would you rather sleep outside in the rain?" "...I see your point, Lulu, but what exactly are you going to change the scene to?" "Something simple and sweet, Moonie; it'll be very relaxing for her, hopefully." Turning around to face Rainbow Dash, Luna took a look around the general area, and smiled before lighting up her horn. Slowly, the featureless surrounding area around Rainbow Dash turned into a pool, and the little cardboard tower that Rainbow Dash was scared of off of was exchanged with a diving board. To make the scene a little more convincing, she added the rest of the Elements of Harmony into the pool, based entirely on what Rainbow Dash thought of them. "Hey, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie waved her hoof up at her, and was currently splashing some water onto Applejack, who laughed as she splashed her aggressor back. "Come in! The water is great!" "Huh?! O-Oh...Okay, Pinkie, here I come!" As suspected, Rainbow Dash didn't want to appear scared to her friends, and so, taking the bait, Rainbow Dash dived into the pool, creating quite the splash. Luna's feeling of satisfaction over triumphing where Nightmare Moon could not was promptly replaced by confusion as another Pinkie Pie appeared, tut-tutting at the scene. "I do not sound like that! Dashie has my voice just a smidgen too high! It needs to be a smidgen lower!" With that said, Pinkie Pie disappeared just as quickly as she left, leaving behind two very confused alicorns. After a moment of attempting to process the fact that an earth pony had just entered a very sacred realm, Nightmare Moon looked over to her friend, and groaned inwardly, knowing that any answer she was likely to receive was most likely going to be an answer she didn't want. "Hey...Lulu?" "Yes, Moonie?" Luna snapped out of her trance to look over at Nightmare Moon, still trying to process the thought that Pinkie Pie just showed up. "Was...That...You know...Pinkie Pie?" Are you blind? She was just there! Nodding slowly, Luna confirmed Nightmare Moon's question with the motion and her following words. "...Yeah, that was Pinkie Pie. Why?" Promptly, Nightmare Moon spun around, and began walking away. "I quit, Lulu! I can't deal with this anymore! Let's just...I don't know, go eat a tub of ice cream, I've had enough dream-walking for tonight!" Although she knew very well that joining Nightmare Moon would lead to a head-ache, Luna felt like she deserved one for what she just saw. "...Alright. Okay, that sounds like...Something I need after seeing that." Author's Note Rainbow Dash is scared of heights, who would have thought about it It all matters on perspective! Moonie quits I can't sleep, Tia!I can't sleep, Tia! Within the chambers of the lunar princess, if one from outside it had a keen ear, they could faintly hear the rustling of somepony turning over and murmuring curses; though such a pony might associate these sounds with somepony waking up, it was, in fact, Princess Luna herself attempting (And failing) to go to sleep. This was made more apparent when a sudden shout from outside slightly startled the two guards out in front of her chambers, and they both shared a short glance before the senior guard spoke. "Knock on her door, rookie, and ask her if she's doing alright." The command was met with a hesitant smile from the younger guard, and she gave a chuckle before fluttering her eyelashes at him, attempting to look as cute as one could while wearing a set of armor. "Oh, no, not me, surely a much stronger and smarter stallion like yourself should knock on Princess Luna's door! After all, it's the senior guards that deserve the honor, not us younger ones!" Unfortunately, the rookie's flirting did not penetrate through to the senior guard's steely demeanor. "Yeah, nice try, rookie, you're still going to knock on Princess Luna's door." The rookie grumbled something underneath her breath before looking at the doors that she was assigned to protect; they suddenly seemed much more eerie and forbidden to open. Attempting to look brave to her partner, who had a faint smirk on his face, she raised up a hoof to knock on the door... ...Only to suddenly be greeted with a wide-eyed Princess Luna that was frothing at the mouth! With a squeak, the guard fell backwards, and shivered as the lunar princess strode pass them, yelling out in the royal canterlot voice, nearly causing permanent damage to the two unlucky guards that were assigned to guard Luna's doors that shift. "TIA!" Elsewhere, in the castle, Princess Celestia was viewing the ridiculous new bill that was attempting to be passed with one of her advisers when she heard the pet name that Luna had for her, and quite loudly, as well. She looked at her adviser with a slight smile at the corners of her mouth, and stood up slowly, speaking softly as she did so. "I believe my sister requires my assistance, so I shall be on my way." Her adviser nodded, and began to gently handle the bill, ready to be presented at the next meeting. Inwardly, Celestia groaned; she hoped her adviser misplaced the bill, it would be a service to Equestria that she could knight him for, and would have done so gladly. One less stupid bill for her to 'consider'. She strode down the halls at a brisk trot, towards the sound of her sister's voice. The one thing she had never thought her sister would do was screaming her pet name in the royal canterlot voice, so she wondered why she would start now. "Lulu? Are you ok-" Any intention of finishing her sentence was interrupted when something collided with her, causing them to fall down in an undignified manner to the floor in a tangled knot of limbs and sputtered, nonsensical words of surprise. Wincing from the impact, a dazed Celestia tried to retrieve her bearings, only to see that her vision was clouded by a dark, ethereal mane; although there was only one other that had such a mane, she supposed it wouldn't hurt to make sure. "Luna?" She was immediately barraged by the lunar princess. "TIA, WE...I CANNOT GET SOME SLEEP, IT IS DRIVING US...ME CRAZY!" Being in such close proximity to her sister while she was yelling reminded Celestia that Luna really needed to learn voice control. "Lulu, inside voice, please! Take a deep breath, and slowly, quietly, tell me what's wrong. Get your mane out of my face as well so I can try to get up without accidently kicking at you." Her sister sighed quietly, and pulled her mane away from Celestia, who swore to Faust that something was wrong with her vision; there was a faint sparkle in between her eyes, but she simply brushed it off as being dazed from Luna's self-propelled impact with her. The two of them took that moment to then untangle themselves from each other; it was a good thing that this corridor of the castle didn't have any nearby guards, for it would make for a rather amusing, if embarrassing moment for the two sisters to have been seen like this. Luna then spoke up in a much more controlled voice level, but it was not to explain her problem. "Sister, why do you have a comet between your eyes?" Celestia sighed, and after shooting a glare at her sister, drew upon her massive reserves of magic to levitate the miniature comet out from between her eyes. "I think it stuck to me after your mane got in my face when you collided with me like a truck." Ignoring her sister's complaint, Luna took hold of the comet with her own magical power, and placed it back inside her mane, in an area where it wouldn't be so easily stuck to another alicorn should she impact with them. After doing so, she explained her actual problem. "I cannot sleep, sister, I have tried everything; hot chocolate, sleeping on the floor, on the ceiling, tiring myself out with quick two minute workouts, singing, none of that works! I even tried snuggling a life sized plushie that I stole from your bedroom of your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, and even that didn't help! Furthermore..." She would have said more, if it wasn't for Celestia suddenly raising up a hoof to halt her sister from speaking more, not believing what her sister had just said. "Wait...I think I have just boarded the crazy train and I'm beginning to hear crazy things coming from your mouth, Lulu. Did you just say that you stole, and then snuggled with a life sized plushie of my student, and that didn't work?" "Yes, it didn't work, and that was our last resort!" "How could that have not worked?! That's the foolproof way of going to sleep for me!" She was going to pointedly ignore the fact that her sister was in her room, if only for this moment. "Nevertheless, sister, it has failed us...Me! I have no other options to help me obtain my sleep, so we...I came by to see if you had any suggestions, Tia!" Celestia placed her hoof back down onto the floor, frowning as she tried to think of a solution for her sister; if even the foolproof way had failed her. There must have been something that Luna overlooked. Both alicorn sisters simply stood in that corridor, both with different things running through their minds; Celestia, with the attempts at finding a solution for her sister, and Luna, scolding one particular comet that decided to latch onto her sister, then turned to the problem at hoof. The silence between the two was broken when Luna spoke up, with a bright, happy expression on her face. "I got it, Tia! How about I sleep with you?" The reaction she got from the solar princess was amusing, as her blushing caused her normally white cheeks to quickly heat to a rosey red, and the stammering from her mouth was making it impossible for Luna to pick out any specific words from her. It was only until after the amusement factor had worn off that she was able to realize what she said in modern terms, and she blushed as well, although not as badly as her sister. "Oh, no no no no NO! I don't mean 'sleep' like that, sister! Ew! I mean snuggling together, in bed! That's the only thing I haven't tried yet!" Thankfully, her explanation caused Celestia to calm down quickly, though her cheeks still retained their rosey color. "O-Oh, Lulu. Just...Cuddling? My, we haven't done so in...Well, millennia ago, when we were foals!" "Yes, sister, I know, that's why I think it'll help me now! I understand, though, if you're busy and can't do so with me..." "Well, I do require a bit of warming up to the idea..." "I can tell you've been warmed up enough by the idea, Tia, by your cheeks." The solar princess shot a glare at her lunar counterpart, who just barely stifled a giggle. "Very funny, Lulu. Jokes aside, I think I'll join you; the solar court is slow in terms of problems for me to address, and there are no pressing matters to attend to today; I'm feeling in the mood for a nap, anyway, so why not? I'm sure the well being of my sister comes first before the ridiculous bills being sent to me." Luna could hardly believe her luck; a possible solution to her problem, and the thought of her sister snuggling up with her, just like when they were foals? Perfect. She smiled at her sister, who returned it, and began to walk back towards her quarters, followed by her sister. "...Forgive me, I did not know that my actions have caused that to happen!" "You yelled out my nickname in the royal canterlot voice, and you didn't expect some damage to the two guards that were guarding your door? Who were right next to you?" "To be fair, sister, we were...I was desperate and almost completely insane by the time I realized that sleeping with a life sized plushie of your student wouldn't help me go to sleep; I'm sure you would have done the same." "...I wouldn't have sent two guards to the infirmary, though." Luna had no answer to that, so she shrugged at her sister before pulling some covers over; the replacements of the guards at the door had dutifully, but fearfully told both princesses what had happened to the two guards that were unlucky enough to have been assigned to guard the lunar princess' doors. She felt sorry for the guards, and would remember to double their pay for bravely withstanding her voice. A warm set of hooves wrapped around Luna in a tight cuddle, and Luna shifted herself slightly to return the hug, staring directly into her sister's eyes. "Goodnight...Or is it goodday, for you? Either way, I hope this works, Luna." "As do I, sister, as do I." Unfortunately, it didn't happen immediately, and there was only so much patience that Luna had. Celestia, sensing her sister's distress, began to hum the tune of a wordless lullaby to her sister. It didn't have its intended effect immediately, but slowly, the lunar princess' eyes began to droop, as did her sister's, and soon enough, both fell into the spell that claimed all, and spared none; sleep. Author's Note I can sleep perfectly fine with a life sized Twilight plushie The floor is too cold, Lulu!The floor is too cold, Lulu! Celestia yawned as she woke up; her internal alarm clock told her that it was time to raise the sun, and she couldn't just disobey and sleep in; that would mean her little ponies wouldn't have a sun to work and play in! That didn't mean that she enjoyed getting out of bed though. For once, she wanted to sleep in, but every time, as she was about to pull up the covers over her head, she felt the need to raise the sun, which, by then, she would need to go through life in the castle, sneaking through hallways, avoiding aristocrats wanting to catch her off-guard, and sneaking cupcakes off when the chefs weren't looking; ah, her normal, everyday boring routine, though she did wonder what kind of cupcakes her chefs were making today. Sighing, she rolled out of her bed, and landed on the floor on her hooves with a rather heavy thud. Unfortunately for her, she always seemed to forget that the floor, made from marble, was very, very cold in the mornings, almost unbearably so; and she just placed her bare hooves on it. With a shriek, she jumped up back onto her bed, trembling from the icy floor; she wanted two things most of all right now, to get warm, and to find the pony responsible for designing her room to have a marble floor. Almost every morning was like this, and she hated it; it was annoying to have to remember this every morning. A pounding on her doors caught her attention, and she could clearly hear a guard's voice sound out from behind it; the voice was young and strong, most likely a newer member of the royal guard. "Princess, are you okay?" "I'm f-fine, thank y-you!" "You don't sound okay, Princess, we're coming in! ...You're...Uh, decent, right?" "...Ponies don't normally wear clothes!" There was a silence from the other end, most likely because the two guards that were always stationed outside the door were probably having a sudden daydream about a Celestia without her royal regalia on; yep, definitely rookies. She snorted, rolling her eyes. For once, she'd like to walk about in the palace without that ridiculous jewelry on, just like any normal pony. Oh well; she did need to keep up with appearances, so she levitated her golden metal horseshoes on, cringing at the cold surface, and she grit her teeth as she placed on her necklace, bravely withstanding the agony. Whoever decided it was a good idea for her to wear such items must not have realized the chilling agony she had to go through every morning with the cold metal pressing directly against her body, and having to walk with that same cold agony on her hooves for the rest of the day. Or maybe they did, crafty little buggers. "Are you still there? I'm...'Decent' now!" No response was given for a good thirty seconds before two guards suddenly burst through her door, with a slight pink twinge in their faces as they quickly scanned the room for threats. Unfortunately, as their adrenaline rush wore off, they began to feel the evil, cold grip of her marble floor, and they nearly succumbed to it, if it were not for the intervention of Celestia throwing them out through her doors and frantically rushing outside to them to make sure that the worst they got was a bad chill. It also just so happened that her sister was walking up to her room when she threw the guards out, and without knowing what exactly just happened, the lunar princess began to scold her older sister. "Tia! Have you been torturing the royal guards?!" "What are you talking about-" "These two stallions were just thrown out rudely!" "I was saving them-" "Saving them from what?! I'll have you know that..." Celestia sighed, and began to drone out Luna's ranting as she casted a spell on both guards, who were shivering from the cold and from the argument between the two sisters. The spell in question placed a magical earplug of sorts into the guard's ears, and she checked both of them quickly before taking in a deep breath, and... "THE FLOOR IS TOO COLD, LULU!" Not expecting the sudden outburst from her sister, Luna flew backwards from the force of Celestia's shout; fortunately, she managed to frantically flap her wings and stabilize herself in the air before she impacted the ceiling. Celestia sighed, and dispelled the 'earplugs' on both the guards before flying up to her sister, an apology already on her lips. "I'm sorry, Lulu, but you wouldn't let me speak, forgive me." "Then speak, Tia, and I may forgive you! We...I still do not see reason behind why you would throw out two stallions from your room if the floor is just cold, after all, from my view, it looks as if it could have been something scandalous!" Blushing from her sister's proclamation, she slowly glided down towards the floor, followed by her sister. "First off; guards? Please go back to guarding my door, please." The two guards nodded, and shuffled back to their former positions at her door, though they were more concentrated on rubbing their hooves in an attempt to warm them up rather than guard a door. Once they had done so, Celestia started walking towards her room, and stopped just outside the doors. "Lulu, I dare not go any further, and neither you, if you have any sense; my floor is accursed." "...What, Tia?" "My floor is colder than Tireks heart itself!" Luna looked at Celestia's floor, and her poker face was perfect for the first five seconds before she groaned, and lifted a hoof up. "Tia, you are overreacting! You mean to tell me that despite all the hot air you put on, you still get cold from merely touching the floor?" "Hey! I do not put on any hot air as you say it, and you don't know this marble floor, Lulu! It is my greatest enemy yet!" Luna looked dubiously at her sister before bringing her hoof down on the marble floor; it stayed there for a good fifteen seconds before Luna looked up at her sister with an annoyed expression. "You are overreacting, Tia, and besi-OH OH MOTHER OF FAUST THAT IS COLD WHY IS IT SO COLD?!" Luna backpedaled in sudden fear and confusion as the cold seemed to instantaneously hit her like a truck. Instinctively, she pressed up against Celestia, who was now blushing, and tried to get some warmth from her older sister. "Why haven't you done anything to this, Tia?!" "Hey, I warned you! Besides, there's not much I can do to a cold, marble floor." "Maybe you could add carpeting to the floor? Like what we're standing on, Tia? I mean, it's not that har-..." Luna trailed off slowly as her sister's eyes grew wide, and slowly, Luna began to slide away from Celestia, wondering if she accidentally said something she shouldn't have. "...Celestia?" "OF COURSE! IT'S BEEN A THOUSAND FAUST FORSAKEN YEARS, AND I DIDN'T BOTHER TO ASK TO INSTALL CARPETING IN MY ROOM AT ALL! YOU'RE A GENIUS, LUNA, A GENIUS!" In a sudden rush of energy, Celestia ran to Luna, kissed her on the cheek, then ran down the hall, crying up jubilantly and causing a ruckus that wasn't going to be remembered for a long, long time, much to future Celestia's dismay. Luna stood there, then fell back onto her rump, clearly confused about what just happened. After a moment, she turned her head around to the two guards, who were trying to keep a straight face on. "I have the weirdest sister, do you not think so?" "If I said yes, would you smite me?" "No." "Then yes." Author's Note I hate cold floors in the morning Cadence is weird, Tia!Cadence is weird, Tia! Luna hummed quietly to herself as she waited outside the courtyard in a chair two sizes small for Cadence; she was arriving in Canterlot for a short stay, which Luna gladly welcomed. After all, she wasn't able to come by often, being in the crystal empire and all, so any chance to see her pranking buddy was immediately taken. Celestia wouldn't know what hit her, come tomorrow! That is, if Cadence ever showed up. She was thirty minutes behind schedule, and despite enjoying the comfortable chair that she was sitting on (sent to her as a gift from Cadence), she couldn't help but have that nagging thought that something was wrong with it. Perhaps a problem has risen within her realm, and she is unable to visit today. She mulled over that thought as she munched on the last cookie and drank the last of the milk on the plate that was given to her before ringing a bell, where a servant came out from one of their many hiding places (Luna swore that the servants doubled as the royal spy force), and promptly took the plate away before leaving another plate of cookies and milk for her. Milk and cookies were one of Luna's favorite snack combinations; quick, simple, and it left a warm feeling in her stomach as her nostalgia of older, bygone days returned. After dunking a cookie into the cup of milk, she lifted the cookie to her face, ready to sample its surely mouthwatering flavor, when suddenly, her eyesight was full of a pink pony's face. "HI AUNTIE LUNA!" "MOTHER OF FAUST WHAT IN TH-" Luna tipped her chair backwards, and made an attempt to scramble up to her hooves; unfortunately, the chair was firmly stuck to her posterior, and she tried in vain to push it off. Mentally, she made plans for ponies to check her chairs for possible pranks aimed at her posterior from the crystal empire. "Nnngh, don't just stand there laughing at me, Cadence, pull this off!" Cadence's loud laughter died down to short, soft giggles as she gently tried to pull the chair off from Luna. "Oh, I'm sorry, auntie Lulu! It's just so funny when I popped out like that, and even funnier when I saw the reaction you had after you realized you were stuck in that chair!" It took much force from Cadence, but eventually, with a 'pop', Luna was propelled from the chair, and Cadence was thrown backwards. Both alicorns lay motionless for awhile before slowly getting back up to their hooves, and dusted themselves off before Luna glared at Cadence, who was whistling innocently. Cadence probably did something to the chair personally; after all, it was a chair from the crystal empire made especially for her, so it must have been pranked with something. "Don't say anything about me getting my rump stuck in a chair, and I won't say how you fell flat on your rump." "If you say so, auntie! Oh, you have cookies!" A suddenly giddy Cadence reached over for a cookie, and bit into it, enjoying the gushing flavor of cookie-ness it had, a perfectly balanced combination of chocolate, sweet, crispy dough (she never did like soft cookies), and, of course, the most important part of all; the way it left her wanting more of the delectable things. She licked her lips, reaching for another warm cookie, when her hoof was swatted away by Luna, who then put herself between Cadence and the cookies, glaring at her with a sudden coldness. "What do you think you're doing, Cadence?!" A hurt Cadence frowned at her aunt's sudden aggression. "I...What? I was eating a cookie, Luna." "Who eats a cookie like that?" Cadence was confused by Luna's words, and tried to move around her aunt, only for Luna to follow along with her movement's. "What did I do wrong, auntie Luna?" Cadence was then treated to the most ridiculous reason she had ever heard from anypony. "You didn't dip the cookie in milk! What kind of pony eats cookies without milk?! It's heresy, I tell you!" ...What? Cadence tilted her head slightly, wondering if her aunt had just taken her medication and was just feeling loopy because of it. It certainly looked like she did. "...I never realized that not dipping a cookie in milk was considered heresy, Luna. I didn't even know there were beliefs and traditions when it came to cookies!" Instead of humoring her aunt about how weird it sounded to be describing cookies dipped in milk as heresy was silly, Luna only nodded, and began on a monologue about cookies, much to Cadence's dismay. "That is correct, Cadence! Cookies and milk, and milk and cookies! Not just cookies, or just milk, you cannot have one or the other, by my mother's name! Why, the very thought of eating cookies without milk scares me to death, and I pity the poor soul that thinks that they can eat cookies without dipping them in cold, delicious milk! May Faust have mercy on them when it is time for them to be judged of their crimes! If only Celestia saw these things the way I did, then we'd have passed on a law by now that required ALL ponies to dip their cookies in milk! What say you to that, Cadence?!" "...Well, that was a very interesting speech-" Ah! She sees my reasoning! "But of course! Should cookies and milk deserve less?!" Auntie Luna might not take my next bit of news well; I might be a dead princess soon. I'm sorry, Shining Armor! Cadence sighed at her aunt before saying the words that might anger her. "...But I can't drink milk." Ah ha! This is great this is...Huh? Luna stared dumbfounded at her niece for a moment before the words finally registered with her mind, and she asked the most intelligent question she had. "...What?!" "I'm lactose intolerant, auntie Lulu. It's a condition that means that I can't drink milk, and there are plenty of ponies that are just like me." "..." "Auntie Lulu?" Luna snorted, and extended her wings out. "A moment, please." Cadence watched as her aunt Luna took off into the skies, headed towards Celestia's room; idly, she grabbed a cookie, and began to munch on it. This won't end well. "Oh, she said that, Lulu?" Celestia looked up from the friendship report she had just received from her student (kites, apple juice, a wrecking-ball, cake and Pinkie Pie don't mix well together, apparently), and was listening to her sister complain about Cadence and her apparent disability to dunk cookies into milk. "Yes, Tia! Why, that is the worst excuse that I've heard from anypony! She even said that other ponies suffered from this as well! That surely had to have been made up on the spot! Cadence is weird, Tia! How can you not dip a cookie into milk?!" "Well, to answer your question, Lulu, there indeed are ponies that cannot ingest milk, and they are, indeed, called lactose intolerant." That's impossible though... Frowning, Luna asked a question that was bothering her. "But...Surely she had to have suckled milk from her mother?" Celestia shook her head, and wrapped her magic around the latest report she was given; after burning up, it was sent to her private archives for her to read later. Her spell left a rather distinct smell of poptarts, which she suddenly had a craving for. I need to work on that spell. "She was given a formula similar to milk that is not milk; many mares use it nowadays, though I think the natural way is the best." "...Oh." She'll get a kick out of this... "Do you want to know something weirder, however?" "What is that, Tia?" "Her husband, Shining Armor, is much, much weirder..." Author's Note Cookies and milk are a religious thing to Luna Cookiethululu is not pleased There is a part two to this It's not what it looks like, Lulu!It's not what it looks like, Lulu! "Oh, mon cheri," the handsome stallion murmured, holding a beautiful mare in his arms, "I have long loved you at first sight, but circumstance forces me to leave..." A gasp left the mare's mouth, and she sobbed into the stallion's chest, not wanting to believe the cruel words he spoke. "Oh, non, merci! We have not had long together! Please, stay with me a little longer." She leaned in, closing the distance between the two... And then, they kissed... Celestia wrote down, smiling as she continued to write down the words for a romance that she had been writing for well over a few years now (a little while after Twilight was her student). One thing she would never admit to others was that she enjoyed a good romance novel; she could never say that she enjoyed them due to the fact that enough ponies write about romance, and unfortunately, the writings were...'Lackluster'. While some of the romance novels written were genuinely good reads that she would gobble up like many ponies did, there were also lesser quality ones that should never have had seen the light of day. She especially had a special shiver every time there was a romance novel about her; while she loved her little ponies, and often said that, some ponies often misinterpreted that, and some just so happen to publish a romance novel with her in it. I love you, my little ponies, but sometimes your affection back for me is too much! As she set her quill aside, thinking about how best to proceed onward from this chapter, there was a knock at her door. Ah! That must be the cake I ordered earlier! It's about time! "Come in!" Celestia's eagerness for cake soon turned into surprise as she saw Luna push a cart with what Celestia assumed to be her slice of cake. "Lulu! I wasn't expecting you tonight, much less with my cake!" Luna raised a brow as she pushed the cart in front of her sister. "Can I not pay my sister a visit? And the maid that was pushing the cart to your room was nearby, so I simply relieved her of it since I was going to your room anyway." Sheesh, it's not like I'm going to smash a pie in your face or anything like that. I totally don't have any pies nearby just for that. Especially not banana cream pies. Nope. "Of course you can! This is just unexpected, that's all." You're going to try something on me, aren't you? "Anyway, I hope you haven't taken any cake." ...The slice of cake is on a small, visible plate between the both of us, and I'm sure there'd be crumbs on my face. "Of course not, sister." "Excellent." Celesta levitated the plate over to her, and began to eat the slice of cake in a slow, paced manner; this was only a slice, and she needed it to last her until dinner. While Celestia was eating her snack, Luna idly began looking around her room; Twilight plushie on the bed, with a smaller, filly sized version next to it, some books (she was too far away from the bookshelves to make out their titles), a giant duck in the middle of the room, and a nearby desk. Interestingly enough, there were some scattered papers on her desk; her sister wouldn't have scattered papers hazardously like that, so obviously she was reading something troubling. Fortunately, Celestia was too busy trying to savor each bite of the cake to notice Luna, so the lunar princess walked up to the desk to examine the papers that caught her interest. What in the..?! Tia! This is unbearable! Now I know why you dislike romance novels so! Luna's curiosity turned into horror at the crudely written (and incredibly cliche) words in front of her. It was a rough draft, that much she was certain, but she could not find an envelope that showed which pony sent this despicable piece of writing to Celestia (her sister had explained to her that, having had countless years to read and critique literary works, she was often seen as a good, if overburdened and overused editor and proofreader). "Tia! Tia, Tia!" She waved her hooves wildly to add a more urgent feeling towards calling her sister's name. What is it now? "Yes, Lulu?" "Why do you have this horrid mess on your desk?! I want to find the pony that sent you such terrible writing! Nopony should have to read such drivel like this; it's even worse than the story you showed me that had us both romantically involved with each other!" ...She's at my desk, isn't she? A quick look told her everything she needed to know, and she cursed inwardly. Drat; now how do I get out of this? "Well...Nopony sent it to me, sister." Hm. I wonder...Hook. "How did you receive such horrible writing then? I mean, just listen to this!" Luna lifted up one of the pieces of paper, and after clearing her throat, began to recite part of it. "There is nothing more in life that I want, mon cheri, other than-" "Lulu, stop, please! I don't need you reading it out loud! I still need to edit my story!" Line. "Edit your story, Tia? ...I just said my story, didn't I? "Err...I mean...Um..." Sinker. "Oh my gosh, you write romantic fiction, and you've always told me you hated it!" "It's not what it looks like, Lulu!" "It's true, it's true!" Ugh... A groaning Celestia hid underneath her filly Twilight plushie as Luna continued to look through her sister's rough drafts, giving both comments and criticism that Celestia didn't need. Kill me now, Faust. Author's Note Celestia hates the romance fiction made by ponies today She wants to create her own Unfortunately it's very bad It all worked out in the end, Tia!It all worked out in the end, Tia! "So how the heck does that happen, Chrys?!" "I don't know, but I did learn one thing; changelings like hats, and are apparently willing to fight each other for them." Celestia and Chrysalis were taking a stroll in the castle gardens, partly to enjoy the scenery. The main reason why they were here, however, was because when Cadence was asked (via letter) about how she felt about Chrysalis now, the response was not what one would expect from the alicorn of love (and tolerance). Now, Chrysalis was hiding with Celestia for company while Luna used the time to improve social relations with the Crystal Empire as well as having some fun with Cadence. Celestia, meanwhile, was taking the time to swap and exchange stories with Chrysalis, and she was learning quite a bit about changelings while keeping Chrysalis safe from getting maimed by Cadence. "Do I have to fear for the ponies that operate in the stores that sell hats?" "Yes, though only if they refuse to give up hats to my changelings." Better send out a warning to all those that come into contact with hats, then, if what Chrysalis said is true. "Alright, I'll send out a warning to those that work in the hat industry." "That's about the best thing you can do. Oh, there's a bench; can we take a moment from all this walking to sit down, Tia?" "Of course, Chrys." The two sat down on the bench, which, to its credit, only slightly sagged from the weight of the two alicorns. As Celestia looked around the castle gardens, she couldn't help but feel proud for the ponies that maintained it. The scene around them was one of peace, flowers, grass, and well maintained work from the gardening staff of the castle. Truly, a work of art that continued to be renewed every year after winter, and was the ultimate form of art, always constantly demanding of a pony to nurture it until it bloomed. This was the work of master artists, who strived to create the perfect picture for everypony to enjoy, even if they only viewed it for a few seconds. That's why it was the perfect place (and time) for a cannonball to suddenly sink itself just a foot away from Celestia, and then explode, spraying confetti and streamers everywhere. On instinct, Chrysalis immediately reacted to the sudden threat by screaming like a little filly and clinging onto Celestia. "MOMMY, HELP!" ...No words can describe what I'm feeling right now, though I know it's somewhere between screaming bloody murder over the cannonball that landed next to me, to wanting to make fun of Chrysalis acting like a little filly, to having motherly instincts and wanting to hold her and say everything's alright. Celestia stared at Chrysalis, and was about to compromise on her thoughts by gently prying her off and offer a few teasing words of comfort when she heard a voice that should not have been heard at all today. "Uh oh! Hold on, Lulu, that sounded like a little foal in trouble!" This is bad. Real bad. "Chrysalis!" Celestia hissed, trying to shake the alicorn off her. "Stop acting like a foal and shapeshift before Cadence sees you! ...Or continue acting like a foal, and change into one!" Celestia's request, however, fell on scared, memory lane taking ears, as Chrysalis simply held onto Celestia tighter. Sighing, Celestia became increasingly aware of the incoming doom that was coming for Chrysalis, and she only hoped that Cadence would be a merciful soul. "Oh, come on, auntie, I have to see! That voice sounded familiar, anyway!" Suddenly, Cadence appeared over a hedge. "Hey, I'm sorry about th-..." Her voice quietened when she saw Chrysalis, and her concerned gaze turned hard. She began walking over to the two, with menace clearly seen in her eyes. Luna popped out over the hedge with a pot on her head, presumably as a helmet, and mouthed 'This is bad, Tia!' Celestia shot Luna a piercing glare that could penetrate the heavens, and continued to try and pry Chrysalis off her. "Cady, dear, now, it's not what it looks like..." "You're being hugged by the creature that left me down in the mines with nothing but a rubber duck for company! The duck was terrible company as well, not to mention the things she did to me! How could you, auntie Tia?!" Chrysalis stopped nuzzling into an embarrassed Celestia's coat to look fearfully at the pink alicorn before speaking softly. "It was all for a little joke I wanted to play on Tia! I treated you well! You had a duck for company, food was delivered to you every three hours like you asked, and you had a nice impromptu bed to sleep on!" Chrysalis imprisoned you with a rubber duck? I wondered where Mr.Ducky went. "She's not all that bad, Cady, honest!" "You weren't the one imprisoned, auntie Tia! It was horrible! I didn't get to see my snuggly bear Shining Armor for a few days! Who knows what could have happened to him if I let him out of my sight?!" Celestia assumed the question was directed at her, and she responded with disbelief in her voice. "Cady, Shining Armor is a grown stallion...I'm sure he isn't anything, Faust forbid, like Blueblood." By this time, Luna had joined the little group, and offered her little bit to the pile. "If it's all the same to you, Cady, Chrysalis has been obedient with all the laws made in our treaty so far. She also hasn't abducted any ponies and imprisoned them with rubber duckies! There is no reason to apprehend her for performing what could have been the best wedding prank ever." Even though Cadence was convinced that Chrysalis should be made an example of, she evidently saw that she was fighting a losing battle, as both her aunts didn't seem to budge from their decision of allowing Chrysalis to live here with her changelings. With a sigh, she accepted this, but she still wanted a very small portion of things to go her way. "Fine...I'll forgive her if she apologizes for what she has done." With a mighty grunt, Celestia managed to pry Chrysalis off. "There! Now, just apologize, Chrys, and we can move on from this, without anypony getting hurt." Chrysalis looked up at an expectant Cadence, and muttered her apology. "I'm sorry for kidnapping you without your consent." Cadence nodded, and then suddenly, her anger melted all away. "Good! If you had asked me before-hoof, I'd have agreed and allowed you to! It really would have made the best wedding prank ever!" Well, that's one crisis averted. A relieved Celestia gave a sigh, and looked up just as Luna sat down next to her. "It all worked out in the end, Tia!" "Indeed." Author's Note Don't let changelings near hats Chrysalis is jumpy and a scared filly at heart Luna and Cadence found one of Pinkie's many confiscated party cannons I can imagine it now, Lulu!I can imagine it now, Lulu! "Tia, what is this contraption I see where ponies falling to their doom on little cars called?" "That's called a roller coaster, Lulu, and ponies aren't falling to their doom on it." "Then why are they screaming and crying as it goes down?" "They're enjoying the ride." Thanks to Chrysalis, who was (rather grudgingly) holding down the fort at the castle, the two alicorn sisters were attending a festival being held in their honor without the worry of having to return back to a mountain of paperwork. It was agreed that not all of them could go, and so, they played rock, paper, scissors, best two of of three, to see which two of them would get to participate in the festival, while the last one stayed behind. Needless to say, Chrysalis lost. Badly. I should buy her some cotton candy, at the very least; hopefully I don't eat it on the way back. Celestia kept that thought in mind as she toured the area where the festival was held, thanking the ponies that made it possible and simply enjoying her time. She rarely got to go outside the castle, so this was rather refreshing for her. On the other hoof, Luna also didn't leave the castle much, and so, she was extremely curious about everything, much to Celestia's dismay. "Caramel apples?! Tia, what have our ponies done?!" "Why are the prices on these items so high?" "Tia! I do not understand the concept of cotton candy! This is not made from cotton!" "How are other ponies expected to carry those gigantic plushies you can win, Tia?!" "Why is everything so greasy and sugary, Tia?!" The questions were varied, and could have been taken for as complaining, but Celestia admitted that it was kind of cute, watching her sister get extremely curious about even the smallest of things. However, even she was beginning to tire of her sister's (unintended) infuriating questions, so she asked Luna one of her own. "Are you having fun, Lulu?" "Yes, I am! Though, I kind of want to go on the rides, now. Let's go on that one!" Luna pointed at one of the rides that had a line that wasn't too long; it only seemed to be about a two minute wait, from what Celestia guessed. Then, she tilted her head up, and let out a sigh of exasperation as her cheeks began to suddenly feel hot; what Luna pointed at was certainly not what she expected Luna to ride. Really, Lulu? Of all things, THIS? Faust, smite me where I stand! When it became evident that Faust would not do as she said, she gave a rather hesitant answer to Luna. "The love-tunnel? Uh, Luna, why do you want to go on that?" "Well, it doesn't look as terrifying and death-defying as the other rides! Besides, we're sisters, and I love you! Don't you love me?" "...Yes, bu-" "Then it's settled. TALLY-HO!" Luna grabbed Celestia, and before her sister could protest, whisked her away to the Love-tunnel. As they arrived, ponies that were talking immediately fell silent; Luna was not disturbed by this, as it was common for ponies to suddenly go quiet whenever one that was an alicorn suddenly arrived. "Fear not, ponies! Me and my sister merely wish to ride with each other in the Love-tunnel!" Now, that got ponies whispering with each other and looking them weirdly, with ponies spreading the rumors around faster than wildfire. Luna was humming a tune while Celestia was trying to think of a way to kill Luna without getting caught for it. I swear, it's just one bad situation after another! What is this, a terribly written, sappy romance novel focusing on me and my sister? It didn't help that her gaze suddenly focused on a nearby book-stand, which was featuring books that, of course, were terribly written, sappy romance novels focusing on Celestia and Luna. ...Okay, now THAT is just an example of the universe mocking me. All too soon (for Celestia, Luna thought the wait was a bit too long), they were the next to enter the ride. The attendant there quickly ushered them onto a boat with a massive blush on her face, something that Luna found very curious indeed. Did not family members attend this ride with each other? It seemed innocent enough. "Lulu, are you sure you want to ride this...?" "Of course, Tia! Why not?" Celestia's answer to that was cut off as the ride began to start, and soon, they were able to approach the tunnel. I really, really hope I can explain this to Lulu... Her gaze was drawn to her sister, who seemed to be enjoying the boat ride. "Ah, this is very relaxing, isn't it, Tia? I enjoy this ride!" "Lulu, this ride isn't what you think it is." "Oh? Pray tell, what makes this ride not what it seems?" Well, can't back out now. "...This is a ride for 'lovers', Lulu, an-" "Well, of course we're lovers, I love you, Tia!" "It's for 'couples', Lulu! It's not 'family' or 'friend' kinds of love!" Luna was silent as she took in that information, and Celestia was worried that she might have not said the right thing. "Um, Lulu...?" "That is disgusting! Ponies actually profit off love like this?! They even had the wicked idea of disguising the fact that this is not meant for family! Why would there be a ride for lovers going down a dark tunnel?! That isn't romantic at all, Tia!" Celestia tossed away her explanation of this ride, and simply let her sister rant on and on; she only paid attention when her sister suddenly swore. "Lulu! Language!" "I'm sorry, Tia, but ponies were looking at us all funny like! They must have spread rumors about us by now!" "I can imagine it now, Lulu! There will be newsponies at the end of this tunnel, waiting to question us about our apparent relationship!" "Eww!" Celestia was right, and as the ride ended, there was a mob of ponies waiting for them, with questions and accusations being thrown at them like popcorn being popped. "...And then I hit a camera-pony in the face with their own camera, making them all back off as we flew back to the castle." Chrysalis was listening intently to the tale Celestia was telling her, and she nodded slowly, accepting the events that had happened while she was doing paperwork. "I see...Even after all that, I only have one question." "What would that be, Chrysalis?" "...Where's my cotton candy?" Author's Note Rock, paper, scissors was played by projecting images of said items via magic, not with their hooves Luna questions festivals now This was not an awkward moment for the two, really Chrysalis didn't get cotton candy Don't drink Manticore, Tia!Don't drink Manticore, Tia! Ah! That just about wraps it up for the night court, finally! I can now retreat to my room and engage in FUN! Luna was ecstatic about her coming-soon break, as it meant she was able to leave the boring night court behind and allow herself a chance to relax in her room, with nothing bothering her except her need for food, drink, bathroom necessities, and her eventual duty of moving her moon to make way for her sister's sun. Soon, however, maybe even food and drink would be replaced, allowing her to play even more. I'm glad I found out about energy drinks! A four pack of Manticore awaits! They say that with one can you have enough energy to do anything, and with four cans, I'm sure to do four times as well when playing my games! Best idea ever! Luna hummed happily to herself as she made her way to her room, even grabbing one of her guards (who had learned to just accept whatever was sent hurtling her way, since she was powerless to do anything else) and engaged in a few twirls and dance moves that should not have been physically have been possible to have been done in armor and with an alicorn that was thinking about something else entirely and not focusing on the dancing. At the end of her sudden enthusiasm to dance, she bowed, and smiled at the guard. "Thank you for the dance, madame Elhaym!" The batpony nodded with a slight smile, having enjoyed the sudden dance. "No, thank you, Princess. Will that be all, Princess Luna?" "Indeed! You may return to your post now, Elhaym!" Luna cheerfully walked off, leaving the guard behind. The batpony returned to her post, which was located next to one of the libraries in the royal hallway. Her partner, a unicorn mare, nudged her gently with a smirk on her face. "Nice dance moves, Elly." "Oh, shut up, Avy." A faint raspberry was on the edge of Luna's hearing before she turned the corner. Here I am! Luna unlocked her mini fridge, and pulled out her chilled four-pack of Manticore. This should work! These energy drinks will keep me full of energy! After ripping the packaging slightly and pulling out one of the cold cans of Manticore, Luna gently eased a little magic on the pull-tab, careful not to force it open; she'd seen what happened to ponies when they opened up these cans the wrong way, and she didn't want that happening to her. Burning eyes caused by rupturing carbonated drinks was not a pleasant way to experience the drink. Fortunately, all was well, as she opened up the can without a massive explosion of Manticore erupting from the can. She lifted the can up to her mouth, and began the first can. Her first reaction to the taste was that it kind of a fruity Parasprite that left a really weird aftertaste in her mouth. She smacked her lips together, confused as to how a weirdly tasting drink could give her energy; she didn't feel any more energetic. Maybe I just need to drink the whole can, Luna mused as she suddenly tilted the can up and began to chug it. It took Luna roughly twelve seconds for her to finishing draining the can, after which she immediately regretted as the aftertaste kicked in full force. "What the heck do ponies put in this stuff?! It tastes like battery acid mixed with Tia's dirty socks, and then mixed with lots of artificial sweeteners! ...That's some good stuff! I must drink more!" Luna levitated another can over to her, popped the pull-tab, and began to chug on it. The process repeated itself twice, and upon the last one, Luna swore she was ready for anything. Literally anything. She even felt like she could take on her sister in a game of Twister and win! As the can slipped from her magical grasp and fell down to the floor, she could feel the magically concentrated drink work, spiking her normal energy levels colossally and causing her to shake uncontrollably. Eager to begin her game night of epic proportions, she took a step forward... ...And promptly crashed onto the floor as the surge of magic from the energy drink Manticore ran its course through her, experiencing an energy 'crash'. The last can rolled on over towards the container it was formally in, and all was silent. Unfortunately, perhaps she should have read the disclaimer on the box before she bought it due to a commercial she saw on TV. Underneath the box, a brief warning was given to those of alicorn status (stating that there was no information about what might happen if an alicorn drank one), which Luna had neglected to read. "Hey. Wake up!" "D-Don't wanna..." The voice was annoyed and insistent. "Get up you sorry, lazy excuse for an alicorn!" "Can't..." "For the love of..." The voice trailed off, and Luna groaned as she rolled over, wondering what happened after she drank her fourth Manticore; her world was full of confusion and pain, and she didn't like that. Her head felt like it was splitting itself into two, and she didn't get to play any games at all! Some game night this turned out to be. Luna's confused, sleepy state was soon turned into a world of pain and even more confusion as she felt something nip her rump. Hard. She didn't take kindly to something nipping her rump, so she yelled out, more in confusion than pain. "OW! WHAT IN TH-" Luna's voiced trailed off as she saw just who it was that bit her, and she didn't like what she saw. After all that happened to her, she really didn't want to see her of all alicorns. A part of her hoped that it was simply Chrysalis in disguise, but by the fact that she wasn't immediately grinning and crowing about how she surprised her made her think that perhaps this really was her former, dark self. "...Hello, Nightmare Moon." Surprisingly, the words were said a lot calmer than what Luna was feeling right now, which was panic, pain, and utter confusion. The fearsome looking alicorn nodded curtly before tapping the base of Luna's horn gently, which hurt. "I don't know what you did, Luna, but put me back in your head!" Huh. I thought your goal was to take over the world and make it eternal night, not getting back inside my head. A perplexed Luna tilted her head slightly, and in doing so caused her headache to increase tenfold. "Ow! Nnngh, I don't think you want back in here, Nightmare. My head hurts like an Ursa Major just played tennis with it." An annoyed Nightmare Moon groaned, and sat herself down next to Luna. "That's just great! I was safe and sound in your head, watching late night pony comedy stand-up when suddenly I'm ejected from your head!" "...I thought you wanted eternal night, not being cooped up in my head...?" Nightmare Moon's gaze softened slightly at the mentioning of eternal night. "While the night is a beautiful thing, it's no longer my goal to bring it eternally. Things...Change, Luna. You'll know what I mean if you ever get shoved in the back of somepony's mind and have nothing to do but watch bad stand-up comedians on TV." "...There's a TV in my head?" "It's too hard to explain. Don't ask." How does a TV inside my head even manage to get reception? It's thick enough to withstand getting hit by one of Tia's stop signs. "Very well then, Nightmare. However...May I ask you a different question?" Nightmare Moon hesitated before answering. "That depends on the question." "How exactly are you...Well, your own sentient being? Ow, dumb headache..." "I'm not entirely sure; I was hoping you had the answer. There I was, minding my own business, when suddenly, I felt a massive surge of energy. I, of course, thinking that you were containing energy for a quick zap on Celestia's rump or some other prank you were deciding to pull on her, decided to ignore it. However, more energy began to course within your body; so much, in fact, that it could have destroyed Canterlot if all that unfocused energy imploded on itself. I did the only thing I could, which was to absorb some of the energy within myself; after all, I certainly didn't want to be sent back to the moon for another thousand years because of you blowing up an entire city. I had contained most of the energy when you suddenly shot out a massive blast of energy; since I had most of the energy within me, I, too, was shot out from your horn in the massive blast. At least, that's my theory. That is why I am here, as well as that giant hole in your ceiling. Hey, it could have been worse, you know!" At that last part, Luna looked up at her ceiling, and sure enough, there was a gigantic hole in her ceiling, and the fact that she was the one to have caused made her very, very annoyed. "For the love of my mother, my room was just repaired after getting blasted by the laser cannon known as the Elements of Harmony! The heck was in those cans of Manticore, anyway?!" Luna grabbed one of the cans of Manticore, and looked over its contents. To her horror, the can was filled with magic sugar, which was specially processed sugar that was designed to increase a pony's innate magical power; unicorns had more powerful spells, pegasai could fly better, and earth ponies had more strength, in basic terms. That wasn't the bad part, though; it was the fact that there was so much packed into a single can! Manticore was practically liquid magic sugar! "I'm...Going to count off everything in my aching head, Nightmare. I just drank four cans worth of magic sugar, there's a hole in my ceiling, I have an intense headache and now you're your own pony, Nightmare! That's everything, right?" Nightmare Moon nodded once. "It would seem so." "What else could go wrong?!" A very poor choice of words indeed, as Celestia burst through Luna's door, shattering it into many pieces. "Sister, I heard the explosion and I...I..." Celestia trailed off as she realized that Luna was not alone, and was staring at Nightmare Moon. Her gaze flickered between the two, her confusion growing with every passing second. "Lulu...What did you do?!" "Don't drink Manticore, Tia! This might happen to you, and I have no wish to see the alicorn in the back of your head have a body of its own!" "...What?" Author's Note Luna likes to play games Manticore = Monster Parasprite = Sprite Nightmare Moon joins in on the fun! You had to see this coming, all the main characters have been alicorns so far (with the exception of Twilight) Idea requested from Zamairiac I have not tasted Monster so the description of the flavor may be off to those of you who do since I've more or less took a shot in the dark Things got weird, Tia! (Colgate Arc)Things got weird, Tia! (Colgate Arc) I wonder how Blueblood's observations are going; from what I know so far, he hasn't gotten too much farther from what I already know, but at least he's trying and collaborating with Twilight Sparkle in her experiments. Ah...How I miss the days when those two were just both a little filly and colt, getting into trouble and fraying my nerves to the point where I accidentally set fire to my dinner and I'd have to catch them before they caused any more mischief. While I often went without dinner and an unwanted exercise routine, at least they managed to being back the spark of humor in my life that I've needed for so long! I think I also lost a few pounds chasing after them. A slightly moody Celestia was idly chewing on some peppermint gum outside her balcony as she awaited for her nephew to come upstairs to her room; he was asked earlier by Twilight via letter to travel to Ponyville to help her with a project of hers, and Blueblood eagerly agreed, as the two hadn't seen each other in quite awhile. Now, however, she was waiting for Blueblood to come upstairs to tell her of what transpired, after having felt Blueblood's personal magical signature enter the castle. Since he hadn't immediately come up to her room just yet, she guessed that he was probably bothering the kitchen staff first before coming upstairs to greet her and and tell her of what transpired during his travels. That gave her a little more time to think. It's a shame that the days of Blueblood and Twilight being silly fillies are over, but what should I have expected? They can't be little fillies or colts forever; they grow up, like all ponies do. Someday, when I'm looking at Twilight Sparkle, Blueblood or any other pony years from now, when they are old, frail ponies, I'm going to feel small and humble before them, simply because of the fact that they can age, and have to live with the fact that they may pass away. I have knowledge of things that many would do almost anything for, have seen and learnt so much, and yet, despite all that, it's nothing compared to the wonderful curse that my ponies have; they have to life with the fact that they cannot learn everything, and must struggle to learn the things that are the most important to them. I? Since I can learn everything and anything without fear of being interrupted, I will never find what is most important to me, simply because I have too much time to learn everything, and...My position doesn't allow me to find what exactly is truly important to me. A knock on her door broke her thoughts, and she already guessed at who it was, knocking on her door, as she made sure all plans with all ponies except one were cancelled for the day. "Enter, Bluey." The door creaked open, and her guess was correct, as Blueblood stepped into her room. She barely recognized him, though, since his fur was singed and he looked like he had been in a very dangerous situation indeed. He also had a bagel (she assumed it to be toasted) with cream cheese. "Bluey! What the heck happened to you?!" Unfortunately, Blueblood picked one of her chairs to sit down on, causing Celestia to wince at how messy her chair was getting with soot. He took a moment to munch on his bagel before replying to her. "Things got weird, Tia! I can tell you that what happened was also not of my own fault, I promise that! Truth be told, it could have gotten much, much worse, had the situation gone slightly differently." That doesn't answer my question at all, stop being so vague! Even though it is a rather popular belief that I can read minds, I really can't. It'd probably go something like, Luna, stop thinking about Moon pies! Applejack, stop thinking about apples! Twilight, stop thinking about books! "Bluey, please, don't avoid the issue, I need to know if ponies got hurt or not." "Very well, Tia; keep in mind, though, that I obviously am not the most observant stallion, so you may wish to ask Twilight Sparkle about things that I myself cannot answer well. There were no ponies hurt in the explosion, other than Twilight crying that half her home just blew up, though oddly, she seemed to perk right up once she remembered that her bookshelves and the books within them were completely safe from all manners of hazards." It's just like Twilight to put massive amounts of protection onto a few bookshelves rather than her actual home. "I...See. Before...You begin your side of the tale, tell me, just how bad did things get?" "Pinkie Pie bad." Blueblood munched on his bagel, giving Celestia a moment to think. Oh my. This should...Be rather interesting to hear. I'm not sure if I want to know why things turned out like...'This', but I have to find out. Celestia made herself comfortable before nodding at Blueblood. "...Continue." "Hey, Bluey!" The stallion found himself being hugged by Twilight Sparkle, and he eagerly returned it, laughing as he was reunited with his foalhood friend for the first time in a long while. "Sparky! It's been so long!" Twilight pulled away from the hug, smiling widely as she held the door open for him. "It has! We really should spend some more time with each other; it's just too bad that we're on business for Canterlot today." "Indeed. Erm..." Blueblood scanned the town square for a moment, then quickly stepped inside of Twilight Sparkle's library. "If you find Miss Rarity, can you please apologize to her for my behavior at the Gala? I assumed she was one of the typical nobles who wished to try and get on my good side for favors from me and by extension, auntie Tia. I didn't think she was actually interested in me as, well, a pony, rather than a stepping stone." "I'll keep your apology in mind, though I'm not sure how she'll take the news." A new voice from within the library called out, from what Blueblood presumed to be the kitchen. A blue unicorn that oddly reminded Blueblood of toothpaste was inside there, making what looked like to be a pretzel. "Hey, Twilight, who's that? A special pony, eh?" Twilight rolled her eyes at her before turning around to Blueblood. "This is Colgate, who's been a great help in my project! Colgate, this is Prince Blueblood, but I just call him Bluey!" Blueblood looked unicorn who had suddenly appeared in front of him, who had twinkling eyes filled with mischief and an outstretched hoof, which Blueblood accepted. "Pleasure to meet you, Colgate!" Colgate seemed to speak with a light, musical voice that easily washed over Blueblood's ears and was rather pleasant to listen to. "The pleasure is all mine, Blueblood!" I really should think about changing my name, it sounds so...Weird. "Please, call me Bluey, like Sparky here." "Does this mean I can call Twilight 'Sparky', then?" Colgate grinned cheekily at Twilight, who nodded with a smile. "Awesome! Nickname basis for all of us!" Your real name isn't Colgate? Blueblood was feeling confusion setting in. "Hmm? Colgate is your nickname?" Twilight Sparkle nodded. "Nopony knows her actual name, but we respect that; she just asked to be called Colgate, and it sort of stuck as her actual name." That is highly unusual, but I won't press the issue. "Very well, then! So, Twilight, you said you needed help?" "Mhm!" Twilight Sparkle began walking over to a door, which led to her underground laboratory. Blueblood and Colgate followed her down, being careful with every step they took, as neither wanted to end up sprawled in a pile at the bottom of the stairs. "I have a series of compounds and materials that need to be precisely added in at the right time, and it's going to be far easier to perform this with multiple unicorns administering the compounds rather then one unicorn doing it all at once." Blueblood nodded slowly, accepting the task given to him. Seems easy enough and won't cause explosions like her previous experiments. "That doesn't seem too hard, Sparky. What are we combining anyway?" "Oh, just various explosive compounds, nicknamed 'pop-rocks', that may or may not blow my library sky-high, to be combined with a catalyst, nicknamed 'cola'! I have complete faith that you two will do just fine!" Blueblood couldn't help but exchange a worried glance with Colgate, who seemed to share his worry. "Blueblood, you are going to be stationed over here, with the reactant 'pop-rocks'. Colgate, you'll be right next to him, pouring in this 'cola' to see what effect it'll have on the 'pop-rocks'. I'll be over here with a notepad, recording the results of this experiment." ...I can't help but think that something bad is going to happen, and I got the short stick. "Err...Well, just a moment, Sparky, we do need to put on a few lab coats in case this stuff has a violent reaction." "Oh, good idea!" Twilight turned around to walk over to her closet, where she kept her lab coats, only to see Pinkie Pie (clad in a lab coat and goggles), holding out three of those coats already, with a set of goggles to go with them. "Here you go, Sparky! Three coats and goggles, all ready for your super duper experiment!" "...Thanks, Pinkie." Twilight grabbed the coats, and handed them off to Blueblood and Colgate, the former of which was absolutely confused. I didn't notice an earth pony accompanying us down into Twilight's lab. "Where di-" "Don't," Colgate said flatly. "Pinkie Pie is random, and that's all you need to know." "...Right." "So!" Twilight exclaimed happily, with her lab coat and goggles on, "Are we ready to go?!" With a nod, Blueblood prepared to wait for Colgate to pour her experimental 'cola' into his experimental 'pop-rocks', and he prayed that things didn't go wrong. Hmm...Colgate. The name rings a bell, though I can't remember why... Curious, Celestia pressed her nephew on. "So, what happened next?" "Things went wrong." Author's Note Moody Celestia Blueblood and Twilight interaction This is a little side-story of sorts involving Colgate over a few chapters that will be marked differently from other chapters That's my pocky, Lulu!That's my pocky, Lulu! I hear munching. Must be Moonie. What she's munching on this time, and how much of it, however, is the question that I must find the answer to, because I really need her to stop eating so much junk food. After the noodle incident, Luna was wary of Nightmare Moon and her junk food. While alicorns liked the ease and deliciousness of junk food, even they, like normal ponies, must eat things in moderation. Of course this is a very loose rule for them, and they often go on junk food binges, but the concept is the same. Unfortunately, Nightmare Moon was eating junk food near constantly the past week, ranging from fried snacks, noodles, and other such convenience foods, and had even taken a few bits from the other alicorns to fuel her junk food addiction. Luna was determined to stop Nightmare Moon, and so, she walked towards the sound of the munching. Munch. Munch. Munch. Hopefully, I can stop that repetitive sound, because I don't want you to get fat, or worse, become like Tia. The munching slowly grew louder, eventually leading Luna over to Nightmare Moon's door to her room. My Nightmare Moon tracker senses that Moonie is in her room. I...Why do I even have this thing, anyway? Luna took a moment to stare at the overly complicated gizmo that was given to her by Pinkie Pie (the events of that day confused her to no end, but at least she got free stuff) before shrugging, and pushing open Nightmare Moon's door. "Moonie, I-" Boxes. Boxes. So. Many. Boxes. The words that Luna were about to say died in her throat as her eyes scanned around Nightmare Moon's room, utterly bewildered by the sheer amount of boxes everywhere. Is this what box heaven looks like? I feel sorry for all the boxes that I've accidentally crushed when me and Tia played cardboard box wars together. Her musing was cut short by Nightmare Moon, who, of course, knew why Luna was here. "No, Lulu! Stay away from me! What you're looking at is my domain! That's my pocky, Lulu! I will respect your obsession with marshmallows in hot chocolate if you respect my obsession with pocky!" ...Oh, sure, bringing up that incident in an attempt to make me feel bad to leave you alone. That's not going to work even if it now has me feeling guilty about what I did! "I care not about your domain, I'm concerned about your health, Moonie! Don't you see that what you've been eating recently is unhealthy?!" Hmph! My eating habits concern you?! I do admit I've taken a liking to the food of the unhealthy variety, but that doesn't mean you should foalsit me! Nightmare Moon sighed, and opened up another box of pocky, causing Luna to groan in despair. Ignoring her, Nightmare Moon levitated a pocky stick out from the box, and stuck it in her mouth. "Pocky!" I think I'm out of my league here. Still...Doesn't mean I can't stop trying. After a little bit searching around the room, Luna managed to find a place to sit that was covered in pocky boxes (and normal boxes), so she then sat down there, still unable to comprehend why there were so many boxes of pocky in Nightmare Moon's room. "Erm...Just so I'm on the right page with you, Moonie, all these boxes are of pocky?" Nightmare Moon nodded, taking a moment to eat the stick in her mouth first. "Yes! All five-hundred large cardboard boxes you see used to hold one-hundred boxes of pocky in different flavours, and I'm glad I used my budget to buy them! They were on sale!" ...One-hundred boxes of pocky...? Geez. "...You keep mentioning this 'pocky'. Is it that little stick thing that looks like its been dipped in something?" With a nod, Nightmare Moon passed over a box of the strange candy to Luna, who, after looking at the packaging of 'Almond Crush Pocky', opened the box up. "Fair warning, Lulu, once you try this stuff, you can't stop. The temptations to eat pocky are very, very strong, and even I could not resist." You exaggerate so badly, Moonie, it's not even funny. This is what appears to be a bread-stick dipped in chocolate and almonds, how could this possibly be so addicting that it would cause you to buy a hundred boxes of these things? Luna tore open the plastic packaging that held the sticks, and then levitated one up, taking a long look at the stick, which seemed a little less impressive than what was displayed as the cover-art on the box (it also happened to be in the almond-crush flavour). Shrugging off the appearance, Luna stuck the chocolatey-almond end into her mouth, and began munching on the stick. "Mm...Not really sure what you mean, Moonie..." A smug looking Nightmare Moon brought out another pocky stick, and stuck it inside her mouth. "That's what I said, too; just try to stop eating it after one stick." Confused, Luna continued munching the almond-crush flavoured stick until it was now in her belly. "Erm...Okay. I consumed the stick; it was a decent snack, but nothing worth mentioning. What happens now?" "As I said, try to stop eating, and set the box aside, on that table." Puzzled, Luna looked over at a table near her, and then attempted to do as Moonie asked. She was about to drop the box of pocky onto the table when she had the sudden need to eat another one of the pocky sticks. I suppose another one wouldn't hurt. Luna pulled out another pocky stick, and once again tried to set the box of pocky down. The same need to continue eating pocky came back, and Luna looked up at Nightmare Moon with bewilderment in her eyes. "M-Moonie, I can't stop eating p-pocky! What is this terrible thing I've eaten?!" "I know not what it is, Lulu, but it's sure yummy and makes you want to eat more of them." With a grin, Nightmare Moon took the box of pocky away from Luna, causing her to whine loudly. "Mooooooooonie!" She attempted to reach for the box, though Nightmare Moon kept it well away from her. "Oh, no, Lulu, I bought this box of pocky, and I'm going to enjoy it, right in front of you!" Sighing, Luna sat down on her rump, looking up at Nightmare Moon with watery eyes. "Isn't...There something I can do for it?! I must satisfy this sudden craving for pocky! I kind of want to torture Lulu some more; she looks cute when she's sad. However, there is one thing I've always wanted to try. Nightmare Moon thought about the task that she was about to offer Luna, and then decided that she may as well go with it, if only to see if she would actually follow through. "I'll give you the box of pocky, on one condition..." Excited at the prospect of getting the box back, Luna immediately stood at attention. "What is it, what is it?!" "A pocky kiss. You game?" Author's Note Pocky! Luna gives in to the temptation of pocky, but will she go for the pocky kiss?! I actually recently bought quite a few boxes of pocky, yum yum
I don't like apples, Tia!I don't like apples, Tia! Luna stared at the monstrosity that was in front of her; this was worse than Tirek, worse then Discord, to heck with it all, this was even worse than her sister's morning breath, and that was really, really bad. Said monstrosity was on her plate, and her sister was looking across from her, patiently waiting for her to eat it, of all things. Torture had never looked so innocent, and it made Luna sick to her stomach merely by looking at it; she couldn't think of what would happen to her if she actually ate it. Her sister spoke up quietly, with a slight frown on her face. "They aren't going to eat themselves, Lulu." "We...I wish they were able to, Tia, for I will not eat them!" "Do you still harbor feelings of resentment towards ap-" "SAY NOT THE NAME, SAY NOT THE NAME, BY FAUST'S HOLY-" "...ples." Her sister gasped mid rant, and glared at her sister with the intensity and coldness of a thousand moons, which was to say, quite an icy glare. Celestia nervously chuckled, and wondered just how much time she had left in this world before Luna banished her to the sun; at least it was warmer than the stare Luna was giving her now. "Now now, Luna, it's the only thing you haven't eaten..." "And I will not eat them, to tartarus they should go!" "...But the chefs prepared this dish with great care, and it was made especially for you!" "Especially? Especially? Are you trying to hire chefs with the goal in mind to poison us...me?!" "Luna, for Faust's sake, just look at them and tell me that there's something wrong with them, because I can't!" "There's plenty enough wrong with them, your eyes are simply betraying you!" "There is nothing wrong with sliced, crisp apples! Look at the plate again and tell me what's wrong with it!" Grumbling, Luna stuck her tongue out at her sister before looking down at the abomination that she swore that she would never eat again as long as she lived; they were sliced perfectly, had a slight glean due to the light from a chandelier from up above lighting up its surface, and if one had a good enough eye, could see the little sprinkles of cinnamon that graced upon its surface, as well as a caramel dipping sauce that complimented the whole dish, if one could call it that. It might have looked very appealing to any other pony, but to Luna, it was an unclean substance that must be purged in a complicated ritual, thrown off a mountain, purged again in another ritual, and then sent to the sun to burn, after which any remains would be thrown into a black hole to rot for an eternity, in which she would then destroy said black hole.. "...They are...Nnngh...App-les, Tia." It took much effort on her part to say the dreaded word, and she hoped that Celestia would buy her explanation, but unfortunately, all Celestia did was facehoof in despair. "Yes, Lulu, they are apples; they look quite delicious, as well." "Only because you and every other pony are sadistic enough to enjoy inflicting pain on yourselves with such a disgusting 'food' item! By Faust, how could you even look at these things, never mind eating them?!" "Well, they're sweet..." "A ruse, a concealment, deceiving you to their true nature!" "...Crunchy..." "That is not what a fruit should be like!" "...It comes in all shapes and sizes?" "There are too many of these abominations and I intend to eradicate them all!" Celestia sighed, and stood up from her chair; Luna followed suit, and both sisters stared at each other first, each daring each other to make the first move. As it was, Celestia made her move first, a faint smirk on her lips. "We shall have a guest here shortly; I knew you would have this problem, even after all these years, so I called in an expert to help you get over your fear of apples." "Oh, please, I do not fear apples, I merely hate them, and sister, I doubt as if anypony could convince me to eat those things you call food. I am like an iron wall, unwilling to break!" "You'd be surprised, the expert I called in was more than willing to show you just how good apples can be, and she can be very forceful when she needs to be; she's also one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony." "Is that so? Well, who is this so called 'expert' that you think can convince me to eat these?" "Her name is Applejack." "A-Ap...App..." Luna couldn't form a word after hearing what the pony's name was; ponies named themselves after the spawn of Discord?! This was an outrage and a truly terrible thing to befall on anypony! She would not wish such a curse upon anypony! Celestia's smirk only grew wider, into a very big grin that Luna only knew all too well, and she was afraid at what she was going to say next. "The best part is? Most of her family is named after apples as well." THUNK. The sound of Luna fainting and hitting the floor caused Celestia to giggle softly before ringing a bell three times. As soon as the third ring was heard, the room was full of servants, and most of their eyes were trained on Celestia; a few of the younger servants stared at Luna's body before snapping their gaze up to Celestia, who spoke with barely contained mirth in her voice. "Revive Luna; I believe that the smell of apples does the trick; be sure to use lots of it!" Afterwards, Luna formed an anti-apple group that wanted to destroy all the apples in Equestria, only to meet heavy opposition from Celestia and apple farmers across Equestria; later, the group would be locked in a struggle against Celestia's own group that wished to inflict harm upon the banana plantations, and they are still fighting to this day. Author's Note You tell Luna what apples are good for, AJ!
Bananas are disgusting, Lulu!I'm not fat, Lulu! There are those moments in time where you just feel sorry for whatever was going to happen next to that poor pony who had just happened to say or do the wrong thing; one of those times was now, and while you might have wanted to see what would happen to said pony, sometimes, it's just much, much better for your health to leave the scene quickly, as every pony except two quickly got the concept of. Guards quietly ushered out servants and a few aristocrats, and all glanced fearfully back at the only two ponies that were soon going to be left in the room; Princess Celestia and Luna. Nopony wanted to get caught in the crossfire, so the dining hall was evacuated quite abruptly, leaving only the two together. Neither princess noticed this, and if they did, they didn't acknowledge it. Celestia frowned as she glared at Luna, who was on the opposite side of the table that they were sitting at, and she wilted underneath the tremendous weight of Celestia's eyes; this was one grave she dug that was too far for her to climb up out of. Being sisters, they, of course, liked to tease one another, that was just natural. Sometimes, teasing goes a little too far, and one of them got mad; that too, was natural, and they would often make it up to one another with subtle little gifts and hugs. This time, though, Luna went too far; she told her sister to eat the one thing that she wouldn't ever eat, and that made Celestia, very, very angry. "What did you just tell me to eat, Lulu?" "I-It was something that slipped my mind! I won't do the s-same mistake again! W-We...I promise not to say it again!" "Well, I do believe that I didn't hear you correctly the first time, Lulu, so say it again." With no response from her fearful sister, Celestia growled, and got up from her chair, clearly ticked off; she leaned in slightly, and spoke softly, a sign that things were only about to get worse for Luna if she didn't comply. "Say it. Again." Still not wanting to respond to her sister, she attempted to change the topic of discussion, even though it wasn't likely to succeed. Still, it was worth a shot. "...Tia...H-have you noticed how beautiful the s-sun is toda-." "OUT WITH IT LULU!" "BANANAS! I TOLD YOU TO EAT A BANANA, SISTER!" A silence reigned over the table as both alicorns stared at each other, one in fear, and the other in anger; both knew that this wouldn't end well, but Luna nevertheless tried to find a way to vent her sister's anger; it was either that, or endure one of Celestia's punishments, and Celestia was very, very through in her punishments. "N-Now Celestia...It's just a yellow fru-" She cut off as her sister somehow strode across the entire length of the dining table in a few seconds to stuff a hoof in her mouth and looked around wildly; fortunately, or unfortunately, in Luna's case, there were no other ponies around. Giving a sigh of relief, Celestia popped her hoof out from an indignant Luna's mouth, and spoke up quietly. "That 'thing' is not a 'fruit' Luna, and I don't want you to even refer to 'it' as such! 'It' is an abomination on this land-" "Oh, so bananas are yet those...'Things' you call 'apples' are?!" "That's different! Apples are actually good for you!" "If you're going to argue that, so are bananas!" "They are not!" "Are too!" "Are not!" "Are-" "NO." Celestia waved an apple core up in front of Luna's face, and as a result from that course of action, Luna fainted; Celestia placed the apple down, and turned around to look at her plate. This plate was scrubbed clean of all other foods, except for one, and it seemed like it was staring back at her. Oh, how she hated that so called food item that dared call itself a 'fruit', with its unnatural yellow color, the few black spots scattered across its surface in an obvious show of how corrupted it was, and the dastardly way it was shaped all led to the conclusion that it was nothing less than pure, 'edible' evil. It seemed to glare right back at her, and she returned the favor by glaring right back at it with the intensity of a thousand suns. Said action caused the banana to melt...And the plate, and part of the table as well. Celestia realized she was putting her stare on a little too thickly once she realized that she could smell the tell tale sign of wood burning, specifically, the table. Panicking, she stopped glaring at the spot where the banana once was to douse the burning table, grumbling as she saw the results from conjuring water to prevent the table from becoming anything more than a hunk of firewood; thankfully, her sister wasn't harmed by the fire, as she was slumped over on the other side. That was when another smell hit her; a smell that was worse than anything her nose ever had the 'grace' to smell before... That smell was of an overly fried, crispy, burnt banana, and unfortunately for Celestia, there was no gas mask for her nearby to escape the nauseating stench; she began to feel woozy, and her brain slowly started to shut itself down. She, too, fainted, alongside Luna. Ponies from then after that event learned to never mention bananas in front of Celestia, should they incur her wrath for all things yellow and curvy that dared called itself a fruit; there was even a group of ponies formed afterwards to abolish bananas completely, or at the very least, remove their standing as 'fruit' and replace it with 'evil inedible spawn of Tirek', and the group almost got funded by Celestia until Luna stopped her and complained about the status of apples; the two groups are currently locked in a stalemate without any true backing from each princess.
You can't be serious, Tia!You can't be serious, Tia! It began like any other day in the castle; the two sisters bickering with each other as they passed each other, various bills and favors that a few ponies wished for her to look over, and of course, her own free time in between those activities, the majority of it spent eating moon pies and preparing for the one moment that she was looking eagerly to; tea time with her sister, for the first time in a thousand years. It was a long standing, unspoken tradition between the two to have tea time together during certain days, and Celestia had continued to honor that tradition even when her sister was banished to the moon, which deeply touched Luna's heart; she expected Celestia to stop drinking what she called 'liquid chaos' and hope that Luna forgot that tea ever existed in the first place. Ha! No such luck for Celestia. Although her sister quite frankly hated tea and only really enjoyed the refreshments that came with the tea, Luna adored the beverage; there was just something about a brewed, herbal drink that calmed her nerves and made her feel energized for the rest of the day, or night, in her case. It was a pity that her sister was far more interested in the crumpets and cake that accompanied the tea, but at least Luna got most of the tea to herself, which was fine by her. Humming a little tune from years bygone and with most of the words forgotten, she strode into the royal gardens, and began to navigate through them; while it was true that she could fly up and more easily locate her sister, it was agreed a long time ago that it would have most likely have drawn unwanted attention to them, which would have more than likely disrupted their sacred ritual of Celestia scarfing down all the cakes and crumpets while Luna drained the entire pot of tea in one go. Ah, good times, good times. Her instincts told her to go around a bed of lilies, straight for a few minutes, and then to squeeze through a particularly narrow entrance to a side-area that was hidden quite cleverly behind an unassuming willow tree. She followed the instructions exactly as her instincts had told her, and lo and behold, was Celestia with her regalia placed in a nice, tidy pile slightly aways from the table placed in the middle of the small side-area, made to accommodate two alicorns. Grinning, Luna strode forward, levitating her own regalia off slowly and settling them down next to Celestia's pile before joining her sister at the table. "It's about time you got here, Lulu, I was afraid of starting tea time without you!" "Ha, as if! You need us...Me to drink all the tea for you, Tia!" Celestia was about to reply to her sister, only to get cut off as Luna continued on, not noticing that her sister wanted to speak. "In any case, I hope you remembered my favorite kind of tea, Tia!" At this, Celestia nodded slowly, with a faint smirk on her lips. "Yes, of course, the teapot is full of white peony, Lulu." At this, Luna pumped a hoof into the air, and immediately began to pour herself a cup of the tea she had missed so, so badly. As she began to drink the revered tea slowly, wanting to savor it, Celestia began to pour herself some of the tea into a cup of her own, and started her own drinking, although it was at a much slower pace than her sister's. As Luna finished her first cup, she noticed that Celestia actually seemed to be enjoying the tea; then again, it was probably just out of politeness; after all, this was their first tea break in a long, long time, but she missed any of her sister's usual comments about the tea tasting like vile, rotten bananas. She reached forward for a cookie, fully expecting her sister to slap her hoof and declare that the cookie was hers, but oddly enough, she merely watched Luna with amusement twinkling in her eyes. Confused and suspicious, Luna brought the cookie to her mouth, and bit off half a mouthful from it, chewing slowly as her sister continued to nurse her cup of tea. Strangely enough, the cookie tasted just fine, but most troublesome of all, her sister did not challenge her for it! As she thought about what this strange phenomenon could mean, Celestia levitated the teapot towards her, and to Luna's surprise and horror... Poured herself another cup of tea. "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR SISTER?!" Celestia groaned as her teacup shattered, and she levitated up another tea cup while glaring at her sister in a way that made Luna wilt slightly from the intensity of said glare. "Things change over a thousand years, Luna, I thought that would have been obvious enough." This was...New. Something she had never expected to happen did indeed happen, and she didn't know if she needed to be scared or not because of this strange new development; Celestia, drinking more than one cup of tea? What was this madness?! "You...Truly enjoy tea now?" "At first I hated it, but over time, because I have kept up this tradition of ours, I suppose I have gained a tolerance and a slight affection for the beverage, yes." "Do you...Still harbor as much greed for refreshments?" At this, Celestia's eyes narrowed slightly. "I am willing to share a few, sister, but you have another thing coming if you think I'll willingly part with many of them." "...You can't be serious, Tia!" "I truly am, Lulu." After figuring out that her sister truly did seem to have a fond side for tea, Luna poured herself another cup of tea, deciding to accept this new development, and the two enjoyed a relatively peaceful afternoon in each other's company. Author's Note Princess Celestia likes tea, really?
I need my coffee, Lulu!I need my coffee, Lulu! Whenever a pony asks about what made Celestia's day, there are three things that she always responded to such a pony that asked the question to her; those three things were the simple pleasure of raising the sun, of watching her little ponies happily live their life in Equestria, and coffee. When asked about the last item, she stated that she was just like anypony else; that she got tired and lacking energy in the morning, and needed a cup of coffee to help her, much like most working ponies today. Unfortunately for Celestia, today was one of those days where she needed a cup of coffee, and today was not being kind to her, if the soreness in her body was any indication of that. Playing extreme, hardcore, on the ceiling while eating marshmallows and running backwards tag with Luna late at night was not something she would recommend to anypony anytime soon. She groaned as she got of her bed, onto her newly carpeted floor (She managed an inward squeal of joy before the pain in her hooves squelched that feeling), and walked over to the private bathroom that was located a little to the left of her bed; she did need to wash up and brush her teeth just like any other pony, after all. Stepping inside of her shower, she turned one of the knobs that was underneath the shower spout, and immediately afterwards, a warm stream of water made its way from the shower spout, flowing down freely until it splashed upon her body. She allowed herself to bask in the warm water for a moment before sluggishly enveloping a bar of soap with her magic, rubbing it across a brush roughly for awhile, and then rubbing said brush across her back. The routine changed slightly as she moved the brush across the rest of her body just as slowly, pausing only to reapply more soap upon the brush. When she felt satisfied with brushing herself, she set the brush down, and grabbed a bottle, squeezing a generous portion of some extremely rich shampoo into her mane; when the amount she wanted was reached, she began to massage her scalp and mane gently. The shampoo easily breathed life into her mane, and just felt like heaven to run through her mane. However, it did not last long against the onslaught of warm water, and once all the shampoo was washed away, she began to wash her tail with that same shampoo, caressing it gently and giving it the same careful care that she gave her mane. Once she had finished washing herself and performing a quick-dry spell (One of the benefits of being the solar princess!), she set on the tedious task of brushing her teeth. Dental hygiene was one of those necessary evils that she had learned to live with, and with her tendency to eat lots of cake at any given time, it was important that she brushed her teeth twice as well, for cakes had too much ooey, gooey sweetness in them, which were bad for her teeth! That didn't mean she couldn't enjoy it, however; there was just something about those firm bristles and minty paste that made her take pleasure in the simple action of brushing her teeth. After the vigorous brushing workout her teeth went through, she went to the kitchens to receive the final part of her morning ritual for slow, groggy mornings like these; her cup of joe, maybe even multiple cups, if she felt so inclined. She strode down the final hallway, which was populated only with either silent, vigilant and boring guards, or with servants that rushed to bow at her feet and inquire if she had any needs to attend to. She gently shooed the servants away, not wanting to bother them with her simple request, and strode the rest of the way down the hallway quickly to enter the kitchens before anypony else stopped to ask her more things; coffee now, ponies later. As she entered the kitchens, she took in a deep, appreciative sniff of the wonderful aroma in the air, and smiled at the ponies that were working hard to provide food for the entire castle; they didn't stop to bow to the princess, busy with their work as they were, and she appreciated the dedication her kitchen staff had. Despite the amazing smells that were killing her nose and sending it to heaven right now, she had only one destination in mind, and that was to meet the castle's coffee maker, Coffee Joe, brother to Donut Joe and a pony that could make a mean cup of coffee. "Ah, Coffee Joe, it's nice to see you, as always!" The stallion she was addressing jumped, and turned around, startled by the princess sneaking up on him. Upon seeing her, however, a wide smile was on his face, and he offered a hoof to the princess, which was immediately taken and shook. "Well, Princess Celestia! Here for your morning cup of coffee, I assume?" Celestia nodded, looking around for the telltale sign of fresh coffee, which, oddly enough, was absent this morning. "Of course! I just can't help myself from drinking the splendid coffee you manage to brew here, Coffee. Speaking of which, may I have a cup?" To her amazement, the stallion shook his head, and looked regretfully out towards the storage room, where his coffee beans were located (And which some of them by now should have been blended to create smooth, rich coffee). "...I'm sorry, princess, but there's no coffee this morning for you." Celestia assumed that he was joking, and giggled softly; when he didn't join in with her, the giggling died out, and from the look he was giving her, she suddenly realized that what he was saying was true. "Wha...What?! You usually brew more than enough coffee for me and the whole castle! We even have to dump out excess coffee at the end of the day because it goes bad!" "Well, yes, we would have more than enough coffee, but that was before we found a note that said that some pony tried some of the coffee here last night, and was so disgusted by the flavor of it that she had went ahead and got rid of all our coffee bean supply; I trust her judgement, though, as much as I dislike it. There's not much you can say or do about it when the pony is a high ranking official. Oh, and the fact that this all happened last night when we were all sleeping." Celestia sighed, and began to walk out of the kitchens, the tempting smells of baking pies, pastries being assembled, and fresh fruit being cut open suddenly muted by the fact that she was not going to be drinking any coffee today. Darn health inspectors! In the middle of the night, as well! Coffee Joe followed the princess outside, and smiled at her. "Don't worry, princess, I'm sure we'll have some more coffee later, once we run it by her." "I hope that's true, Coffee. Speaking of which, may I have the name of the health inspector that decided to throw away all my coffee away? I'm curious as to why they did not bring it up with me first." Coffee Joe had a confused look on his face, and frowned slightly at Celestia. "Health inspector? There was no health inspector, what are you talking about?" "...The note from the pony that had all my coffee beans removed wasn't a health inspector?" "No, it was written by Princess Luna." Celestia was suddenly taken to a flashback of an exhausted Luna and Celestia giving each other a hug before parting, with the lunar princess stating that she would be going down to the kitchens to get something to drink. The only thing that was left in the kitchen at night that was readily drinkable was coffee, a drink brewed from beans which was introduced some three hundred years after Luna's banishment. Celestia had recommended coffee for Luna; unfortunately, she had neglected to tell her to brew a new batch of coffee in a pot because old, stale, leftover coffee was the most rancid, nastiest thing on this side of Equestria, and if she remembered correctly, there was one pot of coffee left in the kitchens that evening that wasn't thrown out because one of her ponies actually liked it that way (Blueblood had some weird tastes), which probably meant that Luna had drunk the coffee from that pot, and... If there was any place that Coffee Joe suddenly did not want to be at most of all, it was right in front of Princess Celestia, who had a subtle twitch of her eyes, and her teeth were slightly bared; he really did not like the look on her face, and he had a sudden urge to ran back to his room, lock the doors, close the blinds, and cry underneath his bed. "Princess...Celestia?" He dared breathe; he was then treated to the sight of Celestia running down the hallway in an undignified manner, screaming at the top of her lungs. "LULU, I SWEAR TO FAUST, I WILL END YOU! I NEED MY COFFEE, LULU!" Author's Note I think I spent too much time detailing Celestia taking care of herself rather than her actual need for coffee
This is the best day ever, Tia!This is the best day ever, Tia! Luna hummed quietly to herself as she munched on a moon pie slowly while following her sister; apparently, there was a pony that Celestia had wanted her to meet today, and that she would be surprised by her. Luna doubted that; while there were certainly many new things that modern society now had, nothing had surprised her thus far. Although, yes, there were new inventions, they looked oddly similar to a few tools a thousand years ago, and were horribly complicated. At least some things were kept simple, like collectable, sweet, marshmallow, caramel drizzled and deep fried windup robot pony toys that looked like horribly discolored versions of Celestia. Oh, and moon pies. She took a moment to swallow the chewed mouthful of the moon pie in her mouth, enjoying and savoring the sweet flavor it left in her mouth before complaining at Celestia, as she often did when she was bored. "Tia, how much further is it to this pony? I want to go back to my beautiful, sweet moon pies!" Her complaint was met with a slightly annoyed tone from her sister. "It won't be for much longer, Lulu; you are so impatient, it drives me nuts sometimes!" "Well, I'm sorry, Tia! It's not entirely my fault, however; you literally dragged me out of the kitchen while barely explaining yourself!" Indeed, she was just about to pounce upon her moon pie filled refrigerator when her sister had showed up, insisting that she come along with her to meet somepony; fortunately, Luna had managed to secure one moon pie in her grasp before being dragged out of the kitchen, and she was eating said moon pie right now. She wondered if there were portable refrigerators that one could carry around for easy access to moon pies. "It's important for you to go out and meet other ponies, no matter how rude or...Or 'bad' they seem! You've had enough moon pies anyway, Lulu. I want you to not spend all your time in the kitchens; specifically, your moon pie storage!" An indignant Luna responded in the only way she knew how; with a high pitched, annoying tone that infuriated Celestia to no end when they were much younger. "BUT TIAAAAAAAAA-" "Inside voice, Lulu! Don't remind me about your whining. Besides, I think you'll be happy to see this pony! She takes after us, you know." "Oh, Faust...If she's anything like Blueblood, Tia, I don't think I want to meet her, sorry." Meeting their nephew was a rather...'Interesting' experience for Luna; that was the tamest word she could think of when she met him. He was certainly a bit different when it came to personal tastes (He actually liked that abomination that was coffee? Especially when it was cold?! Gross!), and was one of the most spoiled unicorns that lived in Canterlot. Unfortunately, she was just going to learn to have to deal with him, a prospect that she was not looking forward to. "Thankfully, Lulu, she's not anything like Blueblood, so you don't have to worry about that." Those words prompted a grateful sigh from her sister before she spoke again. "Then what do you mean when she takes after us, sister?" "You'll find out soon enough, Lulu." As if on cue, a pink blur jumped out (Or, more accurately, fell on top of) Celestia, which immediately caused Celestia's knees to buckle from the sudden weight of another on top of her. "Oof!" Fortunately for Celestia, Luna was taking precautionary measures, and had slipped back into her old way of speaking. "WORRY NOT, TIA, THINE ASSASSIN OF THOU SHALL NOT SMITE THEE!" Luna had reared up on her hind legs, and adopted a ridiculous fighting stance that required her to balance on her hind legs, commonly exaggerated in most action movies today (Celestia afterwards would put a severe limit on the amount of extremely cheesy action movies Luna would then be able to watch, upon seeing Luna's hilariously bad pose, much to Luna's dismay), and assessed the situation in front of her; more specifically, who this pony was that dared to attempt to assassinate her sister. The pink blur was a pony, a unicorn that also happened to have...Wings? Confused, Luna watched as the pink blur giggled, and got off of Celestia, who groaned as she shakily got back up on her hooves. "Who is this, Tia?" Her question went unanswered as Celestia took a long, long look at Luna, then she facehoofed before she addressed the pink alicorn instead of her sister. "Honestly, Cadence, can you not do that?" "Party pooper, it was all in good fun, auntie Celestia!" This 'Cadence' stuck her tongue out at Celestia, and at once, Luna felt a kinship with this alicorn; finally, a pony that wasn't afraid of Celestia and dared to tease her! She imagined the both of them preparing the greatest pranks Equestria had ever seen together; oh, the pranks would be glorious indeed, especially since they were both alicorns! Luna was lost in her own world for the briefest of moments before her mind caught up with the present, and she gracefully landed back on her front hooves, offering a smile and hoof towards 'Cadence' in a friendly manner. "Hello, Cadence." The reaction she got from the simple introduction was a near bone-crushing hug, followed by loud exclamations of joy, most of which flew over her head, but she did manage to hear the pink alicorn excitedly scream her mother's name while crushing her spine; she could certainly feel something pop and crack. "OH MY FAUST OH MY FAUST AUNTIE LUNA IT'S YOU IT'S YOU! IT'S YOU!" "H-H...Hi...C-Cad...Ence..." It was getting really hard to breathe, and why was there a light in her vision that seemed to be getting closer to her? "We have sooooooooo much to catch up on! I thought you were just a legend, but no, auntie Celestia said you were real and you are you are you are!" Fortunately, for Luna's health, Celestia coughed politely, and spoke in a firm voice. "Mi Amore Cadenza!" Cadance looked up at Celestia, and slightly loosened the hug, causing the light that Luna was seeing to fade away slightly, but it was still there. "Yes, auntie Celestia? "I think you're crushing Luna." "I am? Oh, Faust, I am! I'm so sorry, auntie Luna!" With that, Cadence let go of Luna, who fell to the floor with a groan; alicorn strength hurt, even amongst other alicorns. At least the light wasn't there anymore. "W-When did...We get another sister, Tia?" "She's our niece, Lulu. Mother came by to me one night, holding a little alicorn foal in her hooves; she told me that her name was Mi Amore Cadenza, and that she came from father's side of the family. She wanted me to take care of Cadence until she was old enough to leave, but Cadence decided that she wanted to stay here, instead of ruling her own world like us; so, shes been with me for awhile now, and is now a young adult in alicorn terms!" "Hmm...Ow...Interesting." As Luna tried to get some resemblance of feeling back in her body by flapping her hooves around wildly like a duck flaps its wings when startled, Cadence leaned down, and whispered into her ear. "I've read in a couple of books that auntie Celestia gave me that you like to prank auntie Celestia; there are also accounts of you being the master of pranks, auntie Luna, you have limitless years of experience at doing it...Can I come along and learn from the best, auntie Luna?" No pony knew why Luna shouted with such force that it shook the very foundations of the castle, nor why Luna and Cadence would perform mischievous winks and nudges at each other from then on, but one thing was for certain; Luna yelled very, very loud. "THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER, TIA!" Author's Note Enter Cadence, alicorn of bone crushing hugs I'm considering her to be another main character but the title is long enough already and I don't know what to call Cadence anyway Maybe 'Crushy clutchy Cadence'
Don't DO that, Lulu!Don't DO that, Lulu! Celestia had many happy memories with her sister; the most memorable of those were the times where they would get into food fights with one another over extremely petty reasons (Such as which sister had more chocolate, and Celestia won most of these food fights), quite a few memories of reading some of the very first books to Luna when she was the equivalent of a small filly, and even a memory or two of tucking Luna into bed. Now those were the good memories, and she was often reminiscing the good old days whenever she had some time alone. However, with those good memories also came bad ones; ones that Celestia did not like to reflect on, yet did anyway, almost as often as she would her good memories. These memories mostly consisted of Discord, though they didn't faze her much, as Discord didn't actually harm anypony directly; no, the memories that did bother her the most were the ones of her sister before her fall to Nightmare Moon; everyday, at some point in the day, she would find herself looking up at the general direction of the moon, and wondering if she could have had stopped her sister in another way that didn't end up in her banishment, and with her being alone for a thousand years. As she was in the middle of thinking of Nightmare Moon once again, she was unaware of Luna herself stealthily sneaking up behind her, with a brown paper bag in her hooves, already blown up and full of air, ready to pull a fast one on her. Luna had seen this action being done to guards in the mess hall at times, and she wondered how her sister would react to it; she didn't seem like the kind of pony to be particularly jumpy, but you never knew what would happen to a pony until you tried something on them! Luna continued to creep up on her unsuspecting sister, taking note that she seemed to be in the middle of a daydream; perfect, just perfect. Her slow hoofsteps made no noise as the lunar princess continued to slowly close the distance between them, with the evil intent dead set on her mind; her sister would most likely call for unrelenting retribution on her, but it would be worth it in the end, with her getting the last laugh as her sister would do something unspeakable, like smacking her across the face with a pillow. Full of bricks. While on fire. She raised up the bag and a hoof, preparing to smash her hoof into the bag, ready to startle an oblivious Celestia... When a voice sounded out cheerfully at the worst absolute time. "Auntie Celestia, auntie Luna, hi!" Many things happened simultaneously, and with hilarious results that were not expected by anypony present at the time, and, once the initial rage and awkwardness from this event faded away, it became a rather funny and only slightly embarrassing memory for those involved. The voice had come from behind the two alicorns, and naturally, Celestia had turned around to address the speaker, only to be confused by the sight of Luna holding a brown bag to her face. Naturally, her response was to wonder what the heck was going on. "What th-" At the same time, Luna panicked, and having nowhere to hide the blown up, brown paper bag anywhere quickly, decided to detonate it with her hoof and taking what she could still salvage from her ruined plan, causing what would later then be recorded as the loudest explosion to have come from a brown paper bag in history. This explosion also happened to be in her sister's face, who, after receiving the blast, began to flail her hooves wildly in a panic, believing to have been shot; this caused Luna's nose to get hit with a hoof, and the lunar princess fell back on her rump with a yelp, barely managing to not get trampled by her sister. Celestia then somehow managed to fall on top of her sister, with her hooves on her ears, trying to get rid of the ringing noise that was in her head. This was all observed by a now speechless Cadence and her husband, Shining Armor, both ponies looking down at the normally dignified princesses in a moaning, pain filled princess heap. Shining Armor looked confused, and was about to say something when Cadence touched his shoulder; he looked up at her, and saw an equally confused Cadence looking at the alicorn pile in front of them. After a short moment of watching her two aunties in a dazed stupor, Cadence realized that the two weren't going to be getting out of their confusion and pain anytime soon, so she decided to give them a helping hoof. Cadence walked up to Celestia, and gently tapped the base of Celestia's horn; she repeated the action with Luna, and stood back as the two shook their heads, the confusion gone from their minds from the simple action (Something that Cadence learned: Tapping the base of a unicorn's horn was very effective in dispelling any headaches). Celestia, naturally, was first to speak. "Don't DO that, Lulu!" Her sister was quick to respond, with a sheepish look towards Cadence and Shining Armor that was just screaming 'help me'. "Ah ha, ha ha...What are you talking about, Tia? I didn't do anything! It must have been a...Ah, trick of the light! ...Get it?" Unfortunately for Luna, Celestia was not about to let her off easily this time, and growled into her face, causing Luna to give a quiet 'meep' of distress. "Don't play games with me! You exploded a bag in my face! What were you thinking?!" A cowering Luna took a moment to mentally think up of an explanation, and offered a slight smile at her sister as she thought of a very bland explanation, which wouldn't win any awards, but would (Hopefully) convince Celestia that she was not at fault. "W-Well, I..." Her words were cut off by a suddenly calm sounding Celestia, who sighed and nuzzled her sister gently. "You know what, forget it, Lulu." Luna blinked, and tilted her head slightly in a questioning manner; this wasn't something she expected her sister to say! "...Does this mean I'm not in trouble, Tia?" "Only if I can't catch you first." It took a short amount of time for Luna to realize what her sister meant by that, and her eyes widened with dismay and horror. "...Oh, Faust, help me now!" Luna pushed Celestia off of her, then scrambled to her hooves and darted away quickly, followed by Celestia, who was toting not one flaming pillow filled with bricks, but two; for the next five days, Celestia would be running after Luna nonstop with an impressive array of bedroom themed weaponry. As Luna was running for her life, Cadence sighed, and looked at her husband, who looked back at her. "Well...Okay, then. Shining?" "...Yeah, Caddy?" "...Want to get a milkshake? I'm sure those two will have fun with each other for a while before realizing that I'm here with you. Might as well get a milkshake or two before they say hi to me!" "...Aren't you afraid they're going to kill each other? I mean, they're alicorns that can sling magic five miles away to create a crater the size of Manehattan. With a sneeze." Cadence shrugged, and looked over towards the general direction of where the castle kitchens were, slightly drooling over the prospect of a milkshake. "Eh, I'm not that particularly worried about either of them, to be honest." "...Are you sure?" "I think Celestia is content with whacking Luna over the head with a flaming pillow filled with bricks rather than blast Luna with some super powerful end of the world two by four laser beam from her mouth mystical mumbo jumbo magic flare that would probably kill us all. I'm sure Celestia wouldn't kill everypony, much less Luna!" "...If you say so; In that case, let's go get some milkshakes, Caddy!" The two then began to walk down to the castle kitchens, narrowly managing to avoid a flaming brick that was meant for Luna as the two older alicorns darted around, one fleeing for her life, the other intent on catching her sister and doing unspeakable things to her with lipstick. Author's Note Cadence would rather get a milkshake then help Luna survive Celestia's wrath Brown paper bags cause huge explosions Flaming bricks hurt Celestia has five thousand different weapons based on items in the bedroom, from catapulted flaming mirrors to lipstick daggers This chapter feels incredibly lazy
An uneasy compromise, Tia!An uneasy compromise, Tia! "You have my word that I shall look into your proposed ideas when time presents itself for me." A mare nodded, bowed, and wordlessly began to leave her court, secretly jumping for joy inwardly at the thought of the lunar Princess going through her proposal for eliminating apples in a cost effective (But no less surely agonizing) way while reimbursing apple farmers across Equestria. As the mare exited through the doors, Luna's mind wasn't on the fact that she might finally have a solution to Equestria's infestation; instead, there was another, more pressing issue on her mind. Luna sighed, and rubbed her stomach gently; it growled in return, and she knew that she needed something to silence the insistent noise that was quickly getting out of hoof. Still, her court (And the ponies that came to it) came first, but since there were no ponies in the immediate vicinity, she dared to ask the question to a nearby adviser. "...Is that all for the night court tonight? I see no others here." "Yes, your highness, that is all for the night court. There are no more ponies waiting outside your doors to consult with you currently, and, truthfully, most ponies should be asleep by now, Princess Luna." "Very well then, close the doors and lock them; the night court is closed for tonight! I have other business to attend to, so you may go home as well." "As you see fit, princess." Her adviser bowed, and Luna nodded at him as he left; she took a few moments to watch as the ponies of her court began to leave her court, some trying to stifle tired yawns; they still needed to adjust to their new jobs at night, so she could hardly fault them for being a little sleepy. The growling sounded out again, and she knew that if she didn't act now, all would be lost, and Equestria would be put under even more peril if she did not get fed quickly. Luna stood up from her seat, and promptly made a beeline to the kitchen; tonight, she had opened the night court without partaking in any food beforehoof, and that was a poorly thought out decision, as she found out earlier today. Meeting ponies on an empty stomach and trying to listen to their problems and proposals while also juggling her stomach was not one of the best decisions she ever made. She sped by servants and guards, nobles and commoners, disregarding all that was in her way between her and the kitchens; she wanted to please the ever hungry divine being that was her stomach, for fear of the unrelenting retribution she may suffer if she did not offer it sacrifices in the form of food. After bursting into the kitchens, she saw her sister Celestia off to the side for the briefest of moments; she didn't take much heed of her, however. She was probably unable to sleep during her night and thought that a midnight snack would help her sleep. Running past a clearly startled Celestia, she dived over the table and danced around the gigantic, open kitchen area to reach her own personalized fridge, opening it up to the whole, wide world to witness the contents of her fridge, if they had been looking in. That very fridge was full of nothing but moon pies; moon pies everywhere. The mere thought of having a treat named after her made her excited, but also a bit confused. For one thing, ponies named a dessert after her moon! On the other hoof, she didn't see anything that resembled a moon pie when she was banished to the moon, so she wondered how ponies even got the idea of calling these treats 'moon pies'. A mystery that would go unsolved, as she was too hungry to care about that now! With impossibly swift movement, her hooves darted forward, grabbing a moon pie and removing the colorful wrapping with such practiced precision that it would have made Twilight Sparkle's organisation skills weep; she brought the delicious, formerly wrapped treat to her mouth, and with a delightful crunch, devoured half of the moon pie. Her mouth immediately went to work, crunching it down to smaller bits that she then swallowed, and after those were done? She bit onto the remains of the moon pie, and devoured them as well, setting an unofficial record of taking fourteen seconds to eat a double stacked moon pie. This process was repeated three times, and after the third, Luna sighed in relief as her stomach finally had its moon pie sacrifice for the day, and with that, the angry growling stopped, content to digest the moon pies. She turned around, ready to return to her duties, when she truly saw why Celestia was in the kitchen, or, at least, the remains of why. Cakes. So many cakes, and what appeared to be former cakes as well, if the crumbs were anything to go by, which was a rather staggering amount of crumbs. She figured that Celestia was quiet only out of politeness, but it was really only to avoid drawing her gaze towards her and her...'Snack'. Luna could only stare as her sister giggled nervously, and tried to hide the half-eaten cake behind her, a chocolate cake, Luna guessed. "...Hello, Lulu." Celestia's cheeks were smeared with cake, and it took all of Luna's willpower to not break down in laughter at the messy alicorn in front of her. "Hello, Tia. May I ask you a question?" Celestia nodded slightly; while her poker face may be perfect in front of her little ponies, but in front of Luna, she could see the cracks in it, such as the subtle twitch of her wings, and the blink that accompanied her nod. "C-Certainly! What would that question be, Lulu?" Unfortunately for Celestia, Luna was blunt with her question. "How many cakes have you eaten?" "About...Two?" Luna looked around Celestia, and concluded in five seconds that her sister was obviously lying. "Liar, I see so many plates around you, there's no way it could have been only two cakes." Her sister's poker face broke, and she sighed before looking wistfully at the scattered cake plates everywhere, and the crumbs, as if they were heavenly treats; in regards to her sister, that's what they probably were, actually. "...Okay, I won't lie to you, sister; I'm on my tenth delicious, moist, and heavenly cake, Lulu. That's...Not bad, right?" Luna recoiled violently at the number that she was given; now that was going too far! She didn't expect such a large number of cakes, and this was supposed to be a 'midnight' snack, for Faust's sake! "FOR THE LOVE OF-" "Lulu! Inside voice!" Luna snorted as she strode up to her sister, and looked at all the scattered plates and crumbs. "Tia, how can you possibly eat that much cake as a snack?! How does the kitchen staff even manage to provide you with all this cake anyway?! Do you have some chefs dedicated to only making you cakes?" Celestia began to consider saying something before opening her mouth, and then closed it again, obviously not wanting to give her sister an answer; Luna's eyes grew wide, and the look of amazement, horror, and wonder of thinking about such a thing gave way to a wide grin; Celestia watched in horror as Luna giggled softly, and winked at her, planning something very, very bad for her. "Does this mean I finally have some ammunition against you, sister? What would your ponies say if I told them you had an extreme fondness for cake at night?" Unfortunately for Luna, Celestia was very, very crafty, and quick to think on her hooves; one had to, after all, especially if you didn't want your little sister spreading word of your eating habits. "If you dare mention a word of this outside this kitchen, I'll have you know first that they make and individually wrap all those moon pies for you, so if you dare to breathe this out to other ponies, I'll simply have my chefs stop making the best moon pies in Equestria for you." It was partly a bluff, since the royal cooks didn't actually make her moon pies, but they did buy them from only the best bakeries, which just so happened to also be owned by Celestia, in the case that she wanted to eat cake in private and not in the castle; a rare occurrence, but sometimes she liked eating cake in other locations. That got Luna's attention, and she looked at her fridge, stocked full of those delicious moon pies, and then back to her sister, who wasn't smiling, with her poker face back on, and she couldn't find a crack in it this time; she realized then that the only way to keep those heavenly pieces of ambrosia would be to agree to her sisters terms, unfortunately. Sighing, she lifted a hoof up, and smiled weakly at her. "I promise not to say a word about you cake 'team' if you promise not to stop production of my moon pies." "I agree to those terms, Luna." Celestia extended a hoof, wrapping it around Luna's outstretched limb. "I do not like it, however; this is an uneasy compromise, sister." Celestia rolled her eyes, and smiled sweetly at Luna, happy that her semi-bluff worked on her. "All compromises are." "Fair enough." The deal settled and the compromise made, two sisters left the kitchen happily with each other for different reasons each, but both also forgetting the half-eaten cake that some poor pony chef would find later. Author's Note What's a moon pie? Celestia is sneaky Celestia can also win every game of poker easily
Invite me next time, Lulu!Invite me next time, Lulu! Celestia frowned at the alicorn across from her, which happened to be none other than her own sister. Luna was pointedly staring at the ground, not wanting to meet her upset sister's gaze. Both of them knew that what had transpired was wrong, but neither felt like the right time was now to state why it was wrong. Seconds ticked on by to minutes, which slugged onto hours; alicorns could wait a very long time before deciding to take action. By the end of the third hour, however, one of those alicorns decided it was time to speak their piece, and Celestia was the one that spoke first, with a disapproving tone in her voice. "I'm very upset with you, Luna." The younger alicorn's ears drooped in sadness, and her tone of voice reflected that back at her sister. "I know, Tia, I know, you have every right to be. It's so hard to learn all these new rules, though, in modern society today! We...I do not understand the meaning behind most of them, and some of them aren't even used! Tell me, why are there rules about littering on the moon when I was the only one there?! Or rules about alicorns being forced to become princesses?" Celestia frowned slightly as she tried to remember the obscure laws, and shrugged, unable to give her sister an answer; she made a mental note to herself to look through the current laws set in place and see if she could write them out. After all, the last thing she needed was some obscure law forbidding her to eat cake. "...I don't know. That's not the point, though! Surely you must have known that starting a food fight between the lunar and solar guards in the MIDDLE of a social gathering of bureaucrats was WRONG? Poor Cadence herself took a direct hit to the face with a berry pie! Multiple times! By you!" "I thought they wanted to join in the fun, and I thought Cadence would react quicker to my weaponry after getting hit! ...If not the first, second, third, or fourth pie, then the fifth! At least she had the sense to dodge the sixth pie and call for backup. Sister, I did schedule the food fight that afternoon, you even said that it was okay!" "Yes, indeed, I said it was alright to schedule a food fight, but I thought you had the sense not to schedule it during a meeting between the crystal ponies and our own aristocrats while I was off visiting my student! Imagine my surprise when I came back to see a battlefield full of delicious pies and slices of cake splattered across the courtyard! Did it also not occur to you to ASK the bureaucrats if they wanted to partake in the food fight?!" "To be fair, it was a solar guard that threw the first pie before anypony was ready, and he threw it at one of my guards." Celestia wasn't getting her point across to Luna, and she began to rub the base of her horn gently, feeling a familiar headache she had not had for awhile now come back to haunt her; the headache of having to deal with Luna's shenanigans. "I know, I have him doing latrine duty tomorrow for firing the first shot. Anyway, Lulu, that's not the point I'm trying to get across to you; I'm annoyed because you had to plan the food fight in the middle of an important meeting, and you even participated in the fight as well, causing Cadence to be sent to the infirmary for pie related injuries! I did not think that you were going to participate in the food fight, I thought you were only trying to lessen the tension between the lunar and solar guards with a food fight without getting involved, and only being there to supervise them so that they did not get out of hoof! Imagine what everypony will say after today, and what the press will publish tomorrow!" Luna's tone of voice grew to a whining, slightly higher pitched tone of voice, which easily marked her annoyance with her older sister. "It looked so fun that I wanted to join in, Tia! Besides, both the lunar and solar guard seemed to enjoy it, so I succeeded there!" "I suppose it's a good thing that they enjoyed it, but look at you! You look positively filthy!" Indeed, as the lunar princess looked down at herself, she realized that she still had a pie tin, complete with pie, all across her front, which, in the past few hours, had slowly slid down her body until it just now hit the floor with a dull clank; her mane was sticky and splattered with pieces of crust, her wings now rendered useless as the shrapnel from pies and cakes had effectively lodged themselves in-between her feathers, and she felt more tired than she remembered feeling in a long, long time. In short, she was in need of an immediate bath. "...I look and feel great, Tia! It's wonderful to feel such sticky desserts impact me once again; it's just like the food fights we did when we were younger, only with less fruitcake! For the love of Faust, I hate fruitcake!" Celestia sighed explosively, and slumped down in her seat, convinced that she would never be able to tell her sister what she meant; Luna reached out with one sticky hoof, and pressed it against one of Celestia's hooves in a simple but calming gesture, with a look of concern on her face. "Celestia; what's wrong with the idea of me having fun?" Celestia looked up at her sister, and smiled slightly as she gently pushed Luna's hoof away; she received a hurt look from Luna, but Celestia was quick to mend that. "I'm sorry, Luna, but there's honestly nothing wrong; nothing's wrong with the idea of you having fun! It's just...I wish I was there, to throw pies at you alongside my solar guard, while you opposed me with your lunar guard! I went a thousand years without having fun at all! I love my...Our little ponies, but they can be such a bore at times! You should have told me when you were going to do something like this, sister!" Celestia then did the one thing that Luna absolutely loathed herself for being extremely partial to; Celestia's pouting. That was completely unfair; Celestia's pout was famous for being able to stop wars and win cake from even the most difficult ponies ever, heck, she even managed to get a cake from Discord with it! It was impossible to resist, and Luna gave a sigh of defeat before wrapping her hooves around her sister in a tight hug, which was eagerly replicated by Celestia, who inwardly winced as she felt the squelch of pie remains being squeezed between the two sisters. "Oh, Tia...I'm sorry, but I couldn't find a more suitable time period for the food fight, and that was the biggest and best place to hold it!" "Well...I forgive you, Lulu. Just remember three things." Luna nodded slowly, ready for her sister's advice. "What would you have me remember, Tia?" Celestia frowned as she stepped away from Luna to check herself, and sure enough, quite a bit of cake and pie from Luna had transferred onto her coat. "One, take a bath after food fights. I know I'm going to have to." "Heh heh, sorry. The second, Tia?" "No more interrupting bureaucratic meetings with pies and cakes." "Fair enough. And the last one?" "Invite me next time, Lulu!" Author's Note By Luna's request, there were no apple pies (Or cakes) present at the food fight, because Faust save the guard that would have unluckily and unknowingly grab and throw the pie at Luna that happened to be Luna's worst enemy Celestia dropped by Twilight's home because she wanted some cake from her Poor Cadence, those pie related injuries must hurt Don't give Luna fruitcake Bureaucrats everywhere from then on learned to be wary whenever excess pies and cakes were seen
You have weird nightmares, Tia!You have weird nightmares, Tia! Luna smiled as she dispelled a nightmare from a filly, and created a large land full of candy, rainbows, and sunshine for the filly to trot and play around in, at least until they woke up for school tomorrow morning. As she left the dream, confident that the filly wouldn't be troubled by nightmares for this night, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of regret as she left the filly's dreams; she had always enjoyed watching the dreams of other ponies and their actions inside the dreamscape, but she was unable to linger for a long time in any one pony's dream, as there was the possiblity that there was another pony in a particularly dreadful nightmare, somewhere else in Equestria for her to dispel. It was also of much regret that she didn't seem to be as powerful as she was before in the dreamscape; being sealed away from one of her domains for such a long time had weakened her power over it and caused her to go out of practice. This was an especially difficult thing to come to terms with, not only because she could not display her awesome powers to help ponies, but it also made dispelling nightmares that much harder. Only practicing her once formidable power would help her overcome her current weakness, but there was not much to practice on; years of continued prosperity and peace had caused the ponies of Equestria to become soft and content, with little in the way of nightmares. In fact, fillies and colts were her only reliable source of training, and she was quickly getting bored with creating a candy land for fillies and colts in every nightmare she visited. Her dream form walked down the streets of Canterlot, on the look out for any nightmares that were distressing ponies; at least, any that weren't from little fillies and colts. A slight twinge towards her right made her turn around and look up; she realized that it was causing her to look towards her sister's balcony. It seemed as if her sister required her assistance; Faust knew that both of her fillies still had nightmares about Discord, among other things. Luna flew up to Celestia's balcony, and after composing herself, phased through the door. One of the nice things about this job was the fact that her dream form was not (entirely) bound by most rules, so trivial things like walking through doors could happen; why she couldn't sink down through the floor, she didn't know, but oh well. One of the disadvantages of this job, however, was that she often was not able to get to dream herself, being busy entering the dreams and nightmares of others; then again, she mused, she could also have gotten nightmares when she could have gotten dreams, so it wasn't all that bad. She took a moment to gush at how cute her sister looked like when she was sleeping; she was clutching a life sized Twilight plushie in her hooves, and her mane was splayed out, in its natural color hue. She wondered how many Twilight plushies her sister had before sitting down next to her, and noticed a few things that were off with Celestia and a supposed good night's rest; her teeth were bared slightly, and were being clenched none too softly. If the Twilight plushie was the real pony, the poor mare would have been gasping for air, being hugged with the incredible strength that alicorns possessed. Her breathing was erratic, and it was clear from her pillow and sheets that her sister was sweating profusely. Celestia was having a truly terrible dream, and as the nightmare vanquisher and her sister, it was up to her to fix that. However, she hesitated, and drew back from her sister slightly. Was she strong enough to conquer whatever nightmares that were in her sister's dreams? Her power may very well be inadequate for a nightmare of this scale; her sister did not usually have nightmares, and whenever she did, they usually promised to be overwhelming ones. She raised a hoof, and gently tried to brush her sister's mane; unfortunately, since she was in her dream form, her hoof did nothing do her sister's mane, and instead went through it and a small part of the bed. The simple act (Or lack of) caused her sister's slightly labored breathing to calm down slightly, and Luna took heart in that simple, unconscious gesture on her sister's part; that simple act gave her the confidence to push through, and dive into her sister's nightmare, with the intent on trying her best to make it a normal dream again. The very first thing that came across Luna's mind when she looked around inside her sister's nightmare was that it was a completely white void with her sister slumped down on the ground, roughly a few feet away; quite the unusual setting for a nightmare. Before she moved towards her, she called upon her dream magic to help blend her into the background; that wasn't hard to do, since everything around her sister's dreamscape was white. Satisfied with her disguise so that she could view her sister's nightmare without disturbing it, Luna trotted over to her, only to have her sister suddenly stiffen, and turn around wildly; her breath caught in her throat as Luna thought that her camouflage was somehow blown, but her sister was staring past Luna. Following her gaze, she made a stifled gasp as she saw the image of Nightmare Moon; her former, darker self grinned, and walked up towards Celestia, who shrank away from her even as Nightmare Moon began to coo in a soft voice. "It has been a long day coming, sister, for this very moment." "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I really am, Lu-" "LUNA DOES NOT EXIST ANYMORE, YOU PATHETIC FOAL; THERE IS ME, AND ONLY ME NOW, NIGHTMARE MOON!" Instead of the strong, willful sister that Luna knew and loved, Celestia pulled away, as if slapped, and glanced fearfully at Nightmare Moon; her eyes were tearing up, and even from this distance, Luna could see the sadness being radiated from Celestia; the very sight of her sister suffering from this nightmare was eating away at her, but she didn't know if this was just a simple nightmare, or something far, far beyond her current power. "P-Please...Don't do this..." Nightmare Moon growled, and stepped up even closer to Celestia; Luna, on instinct, began to crouch low, ready to tackle Nightmare Moon, when she realized that interfering with the dream now would only make things worse; directly influencing dream (Or nightmare) events with the pony actually seeing you often made things much worse. Grudgingly, she stood back up, watching Nightmare Moon walk up close enough to strike her again; Luna leaned in forward for a better view, Celestia turned her head away, and Nightmare Moon only grinned as she raised a hoof... ...Only to boop Celestia on the nose. What. "Tag, you're it!" Celestia whined as Nightmare Moon bounced away, scrambling after her as she left. "It's not fair, you can't hide anywhere here, and you know that you're faster than me!" "Less talking, more chasing!" Luna could only stare in dumb amazement as her sister got up on her hooves with a groan, and began to run after Nightmare Moon; she couldn't help but stare as her sister tried (And failed) to keep up with Nightmare Moon, who was laughing and taunting at her sister. After about five minutes of watching an obviously exhausted Celestia try to keep up with her, she could only say one thing about the whole ordeal, though rather quietly, so not to disturb the two. "You have weird nightmares, Tia!" Shaking her head in disappointment, she decided to leave this nightmare unattended to, and left her sister's dream, determined to help a little filly or colt from nightmares about Slendermane; at least that was a realistic nightmare, not...Whatever her sister was dreaming of right now. That, and her sister could use the exercise, even if it was from playing tag with Nightmare Moon. Author's Note Luna fails to protect Celestia when Celestia needs her the most Dream exercising is a terrible, terrible thing, for Celestia will feel it in the morning Twilight plushie is here again Luna's dream form works like so: She can phase through objects like doors, pass through ponies, enter the dreams and nightmares of other ponies, dispelling them with a little magic, and make scary noises at other ponies that are awake at this time to scare them; however other than that, she's still bound to the same rules of gravity and normality as if she were awake in the day
Let's do it, Lulu!Let's do it, Lulu! Although immortality was a wonderful gift, allowing her to serve her ponies for countless years to come, it did have its downsides. Namely, that immortality caused you to get bored very, very quickly. If you couldn't overcome that boredom, it would drive you mad, which was what happened to Discord. Thankfully, her parents had seen this coming a long ways away, and sent her and Luna to stop Discord before he ruined a perfectly good world to inhabit and guide the sentient beings there to peace and harmony. If anything, however, Celestia swore that she would become the next Discord, and finish what he started if she didn't find something to occupy her time with. Sure, there were the latest trends that ponies seemed to like, but they simply felt like fads to her that would go away and fade into obscurity in the blink of an eye. There were things she did because of her boredom, such as reading (Faust forbid it would be anything related to taxes and bills, or those trashy novels about teen romance; where did all the writing creativity go?), skipping stones across a pond (her personal best was ten skips, though Luna could easily triple that in her sleep while drunk and being taped to the ceiling upside down with duct tape), and staring up at the ceiling of her bedroom, counting the tiles that made up her ceiling (she always lost count somewhere in the four thousands), but these were things that anypony could do, and those activities didn't really relieve her of her boredom; instead, they usually just made it worse for her. Indeed, she was in her room, without a single thing that she hadn't done nearby. Read old friendship reports from her student? She already did that every weekend. Squeeze specially made stress balls while thinking about something stressful? She needed to order a new one after Luna had pranked her; she had gone to her room and squeezed the stress ball so hard that it popped under the tremendous force of her hooves. Look out the balcony? Tempting, since there was always the chance that something new could happen, and she hadn't looked actually been outside on her balcony for a long while. Sighing, she took a moment to stretch her limbs out before lazily rolling off the side of her bed; despite the fact that she was the older sister that did most of the paperwork, Celestia was an incredibly lazy alicorn by alicorn standards. She once again savored the fact that the floor now had carpeting (The lucky carpenters that had furnished her room got paid twenty times the amount they would usually have been paid, much to their amazement and delight) for a moment before getting back up on her hooves to slowly walk over to the balcony. With a gentle push with some magic, courtesy of her horn, she pushed the doors that kept her balcony and room seperate, and stepped outside. The first thing that immediately came to her mind was that she should probably reconsider the silencing spell that completely nullified any sound trying to enter her bedroom; if the spell wasn't in place, she probably would've known that it was downright pouring outside. Needless to say, Celestia was instantly soaked the moment she stepped outside. Undaunted by the sudden physical change from being warm and toasty to cold and wet (alicorns didn't get sick, at least not easily), she scanned the area for any points of interest; alas, there was nothing that kept Celestia's attention for more than five seconds. Of course, any sentient being with a lick of common sense was in a nice, dry, warm place, and if they weren't, they were quickly heading there. Groaning in exasperation, Celestia walked back into her bedroom, and closed the balcony with a slam; today was the day that she would go mad like Discord, it seemed, unless her sister had anything for her to do. Deciding that it was her last chance to NOT go crazy, Celestia quickly fried (yes, fried, not boiled) the water on her coat, effectively evaporating it in an instant and giving her a slightly fluffy look that a little grooming later would take care of; for now, however, she had to find her sister, and she prayed to Faust that she would have something that would interest her. As she walked down the hallway to the lunar court, she couldn't help but notice that the ponies she ran into often gaped at her, probably from how she looked. Sighing at how impossible her ponies could be, she continued on her way to Luna's court, giving the lunar guards a curt nod before striding into her sister's court, drawing in her breath in an attempt to speak to her sister... ...Which died out as she saw how empty the courtroom was; Luna was playing checkers with one of her advisers while the rest were playing poker at a table, many of whom had extremely poor poker faces. The guards were yawning, and some were even slumped against walls, taking a nap on duty. All in all, it was quiet, peaceful, and completely different than the solar court, which was always packed, chaotic, and full of ponies asking her questions or shoving proposals for the 'benefit' of Equestria in her face. Mentally, she made a note for half of her current court to seek audience with Luna; she could handle some of her ponies if she had the free time to play checkers with one of her advisers! "...Ahem." The clearing of her throat instantly caused a chaotic uproar, seen by guards fumbling to wake up and stand at attention rather raggedly, the advisers playing poker to suddenly overturn the table in their haste to run over towards Luna in an attempt to 'advise' her, and Luna herself giving a surprised look and a suppressed snicker at Celestia before looking around at her courtroom and smiling at her sister sheepishly; silence reigned over the courtroom for a few moments before Luna dared to speak. "...Hello, Tia! What brings you here to my court?" "I need to talk with you about an important matter, Lulu. Please, dismiss the ponies in your court here." Celestia didn't miss the flicker of uncertainty that flashed in Luna's eyes before her sister gave a slight nod, causing the ponies in the courtroom to leave quietly. Some of the braver ponies chanced a glance at Celestia, who was maintaining her usual composure, despite the fact that it just looked like she had just climbed out of a dryer. Once all the ponies had exited the courtroom and the doors closed, Luna burst out in laughter, and Celestia scowled as she strode over to Luna to clobber Luna with a hoof on top of her head. "Ow! Hee hee, sister, what happened to you?!" "That's not important! I'm bored, Lulu! I need something to do!" Luna's laughter ceased, and she turned slightly pale as Celestia said that she was bored; this was terrible! She gaped at Celestia, who had a mournful look on her face. "Tia! This will not do! You remember what happened to Discord; we...I cannot allow it to happen to you as well!" "I know, Lulu! I don't know what to do, though! I can't think of anything, and you're my last hope, Lulu!" Pacing around Celestia agitatedly, Luna tried to think of things that her sister in her right mind would not have considered doing; one of her sister's few weaknesses beside bananas and spiders and other such things were her inability to cope with boredom; in fact, she wondered how her sister even managed a thousand years by herself! She shot suggestions at Celestia, who turned down or made up an excuse for all of them but one. "Have you sparred with your guards?" "The guards deem it too dangerous for me." "Help the gardeners in the Royal gardens?" "They don't want me to get dirty." "Blow up a mountain?" "Why?" "Wave your fat flank at Discord's statue and laugh at him? "That's just rude and indecent! I am also not fat!" "Play video games?" "The only pony I can ask to play with is with you, and you almost always win." "Streak across the castle?" "...Luna, we don't normally wear clothes anyway, and that might cause a political incident." "Visit your student?" "I'm not able to do that frequently enough." "Oh, oh, I know, let's prank your student, Twilight Sparkle!" Now, that was an idea that had never crossed her mind; for how often she got bored, she had never once considered pranking her student...Or anypony, for that matter, despite the fact that she liked to tease other ponies. She looked at Luna with a hopeful expression on her face that it would have killed any other pony, were they not an alicorn. "I...Have never considered that, Lulu. Do you really think that will help me fix my boredom, Lulu?" "Of course! Now, all we need is a stapler, a gallon of milk, some fish, a box of raisin bran, and a frying pan!" Celestia clapped her hooves together in excitement before hugging her sister tightly, causing her sister to wince from the force of the hug. "Yay! Let's do it, Lulu!" "Celestialetgopleaseyou'recrushingmeithurtsreallybadlyFaustpleasehelpyourdaughter." Author's Note Celestia gets bored easily Luna almost dies from Celestia's hugging Poor, poor Twilight
I don't even know, Tia!I don't even know, Tia! Luna yawned as she strode down the hallway towards the kitchens; her sister had tried to persuade a mass of ponies to come to her lunar court, however, she had a very cunning mind, and told them that Celestia had far more influence in politics, and could get things done faster than she could, as well as giving far more favorable outcomes. That quickly reduced the number of ponies that wished to do business with her down to a more manageable size, and once they had been heard and her judgement given, she decided that a little snack would be welcome indeed. After all, ponies didn't really visit her, anyways, unless they couldn't get heard in the solar court, had no time to wait in line for Celestia to listen to her, or they wanted to try and assassinate her, for 'the solar empire'; unfortunately for them, they always seemed to use water guns and pie as assassination tools. Ponies these days were weird, but at least it was relatively peaceful (Though the apple pies were getting on her nerves). As she got closer to the kitchens, she heard yelling and various explosions; apparently, this was a normal thing, as Celestia had assured her one day, but she never knew why, nor did Celestia know either. The guards standing just outside the kitchens straightened up as they saw her, although she swore that they passed an uneasy look towards each other; one that didn't make her feel any less uncomfortable as they barred her access to the kitchens. She did not take kindly to this fact, and sighed. "May we...I enter the kitchen? I require a small snack from my private fridge." The guard on the right spoke up first, visibly discomforted by something. "Princess Luna, you really don't want to go in right now, trust me." An explosion sounded out from the kitchen, as well as some muted yelling, and the other guard winced. "What she said; the kitchens are...'Occupied' at this time." Luna glared down at the two guards, who, to their credit, did not flinch under her gaze. "I demand entrance into your kitchen, as the lunar princess!" The command could not be ignored, and the guards opened up the doors, though the female guard muttered softly to herself as she tugged her door open. "I warned you, princess...It ain't pretty inside, and we're locking the doors immediately after you go inside." "I do not believe that the kitchen is a terrible place to be, and what need of locks is there?!" Luna strode into the kitchens... ...Where she saw the biggest mess that she ever laid her eyes on. The door was promptly closed behind her, and she thought she heard a lock click behind her, although the scene in front of her was far more attention getting; pies and cakes were smashed across the floor, many ponies were on said floor, moaning from being impacted by whatever pie or cake they got hit from (She gave a short prayer to those that got hit by apple pies), and food carts were overturned, creating makeshift barriers between what appeared to be two warring sides, both of which stared at Luna as she took everything at face value. The silence and tension was so thick, she didn't think she could cut it with a knife; eventually, a small morsel of courage was found within her, and she raised a hoof, as well as a slight smile, in what she hoped was a friendly gesture. "...Hello, everypony? I hope I'm not..." "DEATH TO THE LUNAR TYRANT! SOLAR EMPIRE FOREVER!" The chaos immediately started again, and Luna dived underneath one of the overturned food carts, covering her head with her hooves and shouting out. "WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT HAVE I STUMBLED UPON?! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CAKES AND PIES FLYING AROUND?! YOU BETTER NOT BE THROWING MY MOON PIES!" A stallion suddenly came up next to her, with a pie in his hooves, and as he lobbed it over the food cart, he smiled grimly when he saw it impact a mare on the far side of the room. Quickly, he hid behind the food cart again, and explained the situation to a cowering Princess Luna. "Gotcha! Sorry, Princess, but you came by at the wrong time in the wrong place with the wrong intentions! All of us here on this side are the real kitchen staff; we're defending you from a group of infiltrators that dressed up like us and wish to assassinate you! We've kept them contained at the kitchens, but none of us can leave the kitchens because the doors were locked until you came by, but I'm sure they're closed again by now! Oh, and, I don't think any moon pies are being thrown, either." What. So there was a huge food war occurring in the kitchens, there were guards right outside that could, or at least should be able to hear the fighting, and they haven't come in to help the ponies? Were they corrupt? What had she stumbled into? At least her moon pies were safe. She watched as the ponies on this side of the kitchen continue to lob desserts across the room, all the while dodging desserts thrown by the opposing force, and the amazing thing was, there was quite a variety of 'weapons' being used; slingshots were used to propel muffins, egg beaters and rollers were used as melee weapons, and there were even cannons being loaded with muffins! Her observing was rudely interrupted as the frosting from a cake hit her; she reached out a hoof towards the frost, but immediately, a cry went up from a mare that happened to see the princess reach out towards the frosting now adorning her rump. "The princess has been hit by shrapnel! We need medical assistance!" Immediately, a pony wearing a nurse hat had appeared, and was quickly wiping away the frosting that was on Luna, then placing a bandage on her rump; as she was 'treating' her 'wounds', the 'nurse' grit her teeth in obvious anger at the ponies on the other side. Meanwhile, Luna was indignant that somepony would messily plaster a bandage on a non-existent wound on her rump, the look on the mare's face told her to humor the 'nurse'. Even though the events happening right now were explained to her earlier, she still felt like she knew absolutely nothing about what was happening right now. "How dare they strike at the Princess! We need to use the big cakes and pies!" The stuff they were using right now was small fry compared to what else they had? What kind of bakers did they have? Luna's mulling over the though was interrupted by a soft gasp coming from some random mare nearby that was almost completely drenched in pie and cake remnants, and even had an eye patch and scars running across her face; was this really a baker? REALLY? This mare looked more like a pirate than anything else! The heck, had her sister just hired anypony that could cook for her, and skipped the background checks? "No, lassie! We cae-nae use tha' biggies!" "They have injuried Luna's big royal tushie!" At that, Luna began to hotly intervene, insulted once again. "My tushie is not that bi-" "DUCK!" The scarred baker tackled the 'nurse' to the floor, and the scarred 'baker' had taken the pie that was originally meant for the 'nurse'; immediately, the nurse set to work on the scarred 'baker', who was cursing in bakery terms and had even managed to cause Luna to blush and look away from the sheer intensity and dirtiness of her words. "OKAY, 'HAT IS IT, THEM (Omitted for five minutes of dirty words) ARE GOIN' TO TASTE THA' BIGGIES!" As the mare said this, the door opened, with a surprised Princess Celestia looking on the scene with confusion. "What in th-" "THE DOOR IS OPEN, GET PRINCESS LUNA OUT OF THE CROSSFIRE!" At once Luna felt herself suddenly shoved out the door, and unfortunately, directly at her sister, who didn't have any time at all to prepare for the sudden and painful collision with Luna. Both alicorns groaned in pain, and Luna laid her head down on Celestia's chest, wondering what just happened. The two guards at the door tried to not stare at the two alicorns in their compromising position, though it was very hard for them to focus on their job, which was, namely, to prevent any kitchen staff from leaving the kitchen; they were quite insane, all things considered. Eventually, Celestia managed to mumble her sister's name softly. "...Lulu?" "Yes, Tia...?" "What just happened?" She wanted to tell her sister everything, from the huge amounts of food that was being wasted right now, to the infiltrators of the castle that were now waging a war on the kitchen staff, to the mare that had handled her roughly as she pressed a bandage to her rump, and to the guards that were clearly neglecting their duties, but she said none of these things. Instead, she took a deep breath, and said... "I don't even know, Tia!" Author's Note Ponies still don't like Luna Both princesses don't know what the heck is going on How do they have so many pies and cakes
STOP SINGING, LULU!STOP SINGING, LULU! "...And who's this cute little button?!" The mare in the nurses outfit that Celestia was talking to smiled as she introduced the little filly in the bed. "This is Starshine! Say hello to Princess Celestia, dear!" Starshine looked up at Celestia with wide eyes and her mouth slightly open, trying to contain the excitement and awe in meeting Celestia; so far, she was doing really, really well to not have burst out by now in some way. Even some older ponies freaked out at the sight of Celestia, something that Twilight Sparkle had yet to be remedied of. Eventually, the filly managed to put together a few words. "You're...So big!" Celestia smiled at the filly, although inwardly, she winced; she felt like she was just called fat by a little filly, but she wasn't going to hold it against her. Wars were fought over by less. "Yes, I am, little one. I'm also a pretty princess! Are you a pretty princess too?" The filly's eyes grew even wider at the question, and she gave a little squeak before nodding at Celstia. "Yes! I'm a pretty princess too!" The nurse chuckled, and reached into a nearby refrigerator for a juice box for the filly, which, thankfully, Celestia could see that it was not banana flavored. The nurse only managed to open the refrigerator and stick her hoof in halfway towards the juice box as suddenly, a small group of royal guards, numbering five, two of them among Luna's lunar guard, while the three other her solar guard, entered the room. They were composed of two unicorns, two earth ponies, and one pegasus; the pegasus and two earth ponies were hers, while the unicorns were among Luna's guard. Needless to say, the sight of the royal guards entering the room caused the filly to whimper in fear; Celestia frowned, and wondered what could have caused five royal guards to suddenly want to seek her out. She did explicitly say that she didn't want to be disturbed while visiting a hospital for children, as the guards would most likely frighten them, so she expected a very good reason for why they intruded upon her now, of all times. She took a moment to take in their ranks, and immediately singled out the highest ranking guard among them. "Sergeant Morning Flower, what is the meaning of this? I thought I had very specific orders to not interrupt me. Unless there is a dire emergency, it can wait." The earth pony sergeant she named sighed, and looked back towards the other guards, who nudged her onward; the actions weren't missed by Celestia, and it took awhile for the sergeant to compose herself to say the dreadful words that Celestia never, ever wanted to hear. "I'm...Sorry for interrupting your visit to the hospital, Princess Celestia, but...Your sister is singing." Celestia groaned as took off into the skies back to the castle after bidding the nurse a hasty farewell; the pegasus guard, Radiant Rainbows, was flying alongside her, giving her more detailed information about what was going on in the castle and what the current situation was. It was, as sergeant Morning Flower had said, 'very bad'. "It's chaos that would even be too much for Discord himself, mam, pardon for speaking of your sister's 'singing' as such; however, the entire castle staff has evacuated the area, and we're waiting on your orders, as we assumed that you'd have a lot more experience with your sister's...'Singing'. We are at a total loss as to what else we should have done, so the only logical option left was to disrupt your visit to the hospital." 'You have no idea behind the truth of the words you spoke' groaned Celestia inwardly, remembering the times that Luna would sing in the shower; in fact, she wondered why it only became a problem now, her sister was usually quiet in her singing. "As much as I enjoy my hospital visits, you are right in summoning me from them; yes, I do have experience with my sister's 'singing', and I'm glad you have left the castle before you passed out from her sheer...'Intensity'. I love my dear sister, but I wished she had left her 'singing' on the moon." The rest of the flight was made in silence as the two ponies pushed themselves to reach the castle, and before long, they spotted a large group of ponies standing just outside the castle. Figuring them to be the castle staff and guards stationed at the castle, Celestia pulled into a dive towards them, and ponies began to cheer when they saw the solar princess touch down on the ground. "My little ponies! Do not worry, I'll have the situation under control soon!" With that short statement accompanied by the cheers of the castle staff, Celestia launched herself back up into the air to more quickly reach the castle; it was funny, really, how she was needed to stop her sister from singing. Unfortunately, Luna sang...Quite badly. Apparently, loudly, as well, as it was quite evident by the ponies standing outside of the castle, and the fact that Luna's voice was faintly heard even from this distance...She considered classifying Luna's singing as a weapon of mass destruction. All to soon, she was standing just outside the castle entrance, and she knew that she didn't want to hear what was on the other side. She also knew, however, that this was for Equestria, and the less ponies that heard Luna's 'singing', the better. That meant, however, that she would be directly confronting Luna's singing in full force, alone... She wished she had backup, or at least a pair of ear plugs. Nevertheless, she pushed open the great doors that led into the dining room... ...And was nearly blown back from the force of Luna's 'singing', which, unfortunately for Celestia, was even louder than the royal Canterlot voice; the only thing that prevented Celestia from retreating in fear was the fact that Celestia had the unfortunate experience of dealing with Luna's singing on multiple occasions, and that she knew how to block (Most) of her sister's 'singing' from her eardrums by imagining her sister eating apples. That humorous thought always helped her whenever she needed to stop Luna from singing; however, a thousand years of not hearing her sister sing meant that she was probably pretty rusty at stopping her, not to mention that Luna's singing seemed to have gotten even worse. "I swear, Lulu, I will teach you how to sing properly one of these days. QUIETLY. Either that, or I'll be forced to do the one thing I'd dearly love to do, stop you from singing!" She walked into the castle, her ears flickering towards the general direction where her sister's voice was coming from; fortunately, she just seemed to be in her room, which made it all the easier for her to reach Luna. Unfortunately, that was not the case; every step she took towards Luna's room was, well, another step towards Luna herself. Every step increased the volume, and with every step, Celestia swore that she was drowning in the noise that Luna was putting out. Her bones seemed to rattle from the deathly voice that was her sister's, and she briefly wondered what life would be like, deaf. At least she wouldn't have to listen to Blueblood trying to convince her to make him some macaroni and cheese, only for him to take it and try to make a quick bit on E-Bay. It was amusing, but she wasn't going to make macaroni and cheese for him, only to see it being sold and not eaten. Seemly forever and all too soon at the same time, she found herself at Luna's door. Composing herself, she took in a deep breath before she smashed the door down by ramming her head through it; she could have it repaired later, and it wasn't as if the door itself was anything special. Right now, the most important thing was silencing her sister, not an old door. Celestia's mane was frayed, messy, and had splinters inside of it, and she did not have an amused look on her face as she opened her mouth to scream at Luna. "STOP SINGING, LULU! YOU'RE SCARING EVERYPONY WITH THAT FAUST FORSAKEN SINGING OF YOURS!" Unfortunately, her sister wasn't responding, and Celestia's look of anger had melted into a look of confusion that changed into horror as she finally grasped the entirety of the situation that she was in; her sister was dancing around wildly with her eyes closed, hooves flailing about randomly in a way that managed to actually be worse than her student (She mentally reminded herself that she should get the both of them dance instructors), and in Luna's magical grasp was a rather recent pony invention, dubbed the iHOOF, which could store songs for anypony to listen to whenever they felt so inclined. Celestia had praised the invention for its creativity, ease of use, and ability to have your own personal music on the go. Right now, she was starting to have second ideas about the iHOOF. Luna suddenly twirled in her direction, and Celestia barely had time to throw herself out of the way while Luna spun around like a tornado of death, then went back to flailing herself around. Groaning, Celestia picked herself off the ground, noting the dust that had accumulated on her coat. "I'm going to have a word with the maids that were supposed to clean up your room, Lulu. Anyway, please forgive me for what I'm going to do next!" Empowering her horn with her radiant magic glow, she enveloped it over the iHoof, and tugged at it violently, ripping it away from Luna's grasp and ears. Luna stopped in the middle of a mid-air somersault, defying gravity, wondering why the music suddenly stopped before gravity showed her that it did not take kindly to upstarts defying it, even if they were alicorns. "Oof! Ow...My music..." "Your singing scared everypony off." Surprised, Luna looked over towards the sound of the voice, and smiled. "Tia, you're..." Her voice died as she saw how disheveled Celestia looked like, the low snarling coming from her, and the unamused looked that she was being given made Luna feel like she was staring at death itself; she squeaked, and jumped up to her hooves. "...I'm...In big trouble, aren't I?" Celestia nodded once, and tossed Luna's iHOOF away, where it landed softly on her bed. "Yep." Luna gulped, and began to back up slowly, wondering if she'd get out alive. "...Faust hel-" "FAUST WON'T HELP YOU NOW LULU!" Celestia dived for Luna, who scampered out of the way. Carpenters, architects, and construction ponies alike would be later pleased with the amount of work they had to do in the castle. Author's Note Celestia has a hard head Blueblood sells stuff he gets from Celestia on E-Bay for his bits This particular chapter inspired by this Luna can't sing Celestia now issues noise canceling headphones as standard safety equipment whenever inside the castle This is the longest chapter yet
I will defeat you, Tia!I will defeat you, Tia! They stared each other down, with fire in one of their eyes, and the other, with darkness. Arguing had got them nowhere, and it was now time for them to duel each other. Words alone would not solve anything now; only action, and action alone, would be able to decide the fate of Equestria. It would be a bittersweet victory for either alicorn, but it was necessary for the greater good. The solar alicorn hefted her sword up, and pointed it at her lunar counterpart, with somewhat reluctant malice being radiated from her. "I ask you one last time, Luna, put away your sword, and we can try to work out a favorable compromise." A cackling and mocking laugh met her words, and Luna instead stepped closer, her sword still pointed at her sister. "I think not, tyrant; I know that you would only lie through your teeth and slip a dagger between my wings given the chance. Submit to me, Celestia, and I promise you that no harm will befall on you." "You know I will not submit to you like this." "Neither shall I, under your conditions, sister." "So it is decided." "Yes." With fluid motions, the two alicorns danced a dance of near death and steel, swinging their swords at each other in an attempt to wound each other. The intent was not to kill, but to force the other to submit. The impressive sword-play was watched by members of the royal guard on the sidelines, from both the solar and lunar guards, watching in awe as the battle continued; none dared cheer, however, for fear that they may have cheered on the losing alicorn. Clang. Swish. Pwiff. Parry. Guard. Feint. Dodge. Cake. These, and more were repeated constantly in a back and forth motion between the two, and it looked as if both alicorns would match each other. However, Celestia was beginning to weaken; Luna noticed this in the lack of strength of her newer strikes, and pressed on her advantage. Celestia's weakness was further growing as she cried out the first few words in what felt like forever to the two alicorns. "No, it cannot end like this! I will not allow it!" "Unfortunately for you, sister, it will end like this, whether you want it to or not!" It was unbelievable that they would go this far, but it had, and the feeling was so, so sweet; Luna could feel victory creeping up with every second that passed as she clashed with Celestia, who was sweating from exertion and gave a mighty yell as she charged at Luna again. Victory was close, so very close; it wouldn't take long before her sister buckled from the weighty barrage that she was putting her through as they danced around each other, with blades of the purest steel clashing against each other, making the most beautiful sounds that Luna would ever hear. Every time her sister attempted a counter attack, she was fooled by Luna's feints, who then pressed her advantage against Celestia quickly before she had a chance to recover; Celestia was almost done for, and both knew this as the fight raged on, but both sisters were willing to fight to the end. Guards watched on in amazement as the two princesses duked it out, and quiet bets were beginning to take place as the fight raged on, with most of the guards confident that Luna would prevail. Celestia back flipped away from Luna, taking the short, precious break that she had to take a deep breath; Luna, too, took one as well, and both sisters glared at each other before screaming and charging at each other again, with their weapons clashing against each other beautifully. That was not to last, however. With a sudden, heavy blow from Luna that completely took Celestia off guard, her sister was disarmed quite dramatically, and her weapon, a seemingly normal, unornamented sword, fell with a soft clank into the dirt, a good three feet away, behind Luna. Many guards cheered while many others despaired as Celestia made a move towards her weapon, only to be stopped by Luna, who aggressively slashed towards her, discouraging any movement towards her weapon; Celestia immediately backed up, with a whining tone in her voice. "Sister, please, think about what you're doing! This isn't fair!" "I have thought about this moment for a long time, sister, and neither was using my weakness against apples against me could be considered fair!" "I had reason to do such a thing, there is nothing to be feared from apples! Please, Lulu!" "Liar! I will purge you from the corrupting influence of apples, and you shall see the truth! Have at thee, Tia!" Luna then began to channel magic into her horn, imbuing her sword with a glow of dark energy; Celestia, in vain, began to place some distance between herself and her sister, even though she knew it would be too late to run anywhere once Luna completed her spell. She might have a chance, though, if Luna failed this particular spell, as it would leave her completely vulnerable and at her mercy if she did not perform it right. Luna raised up her hooves... ...And began to tap furiously at the buttons and moving around the joystick in front of her, trying to get the final combo attack (a 'mercy') to register correctly; failure to do so in this game would make her feel ashamed and get teased by none other than her sister, who was watching Luna's hooves fly across the gamepad in ever growing horror; the guards supporting Luna began to chant 'Finish her, Luna' and generally causing a large ruckus as the mercy continued. With each quick but careful movement, the exact sequence of buttons was being pressed, moved, and mashed at to perform the most dazzling, incredibly long and completely redundant mercy compared to the quicker, less flashy ones that would have won her victory anyway; despite that, Luna did not want the easy way out. No, Luna was all about humiliating her sister in the best way possible, and the best way was to use the Elements of Harmony on her. Sure, she could have done one of the lesser ones such as taking Celestia out to ice cream or a tight hug, but no; she wanted the flashiest ending for her sister. With one final click of the 'heavy' attack button, the mercy was complete; both sister could now only watch, one in horror, the other in undisguised glee as Luna (in the game) began to levitate all six Elements of Harmony into the air, each directed at Celestia (in the game). Five of the Elements (Honesty, Generosity, Kindness, Loyalty, and Laughter) shot a thin beam of light at the sixth element, magic, which, in turn, fired a much larger beam of rainbow light at Celestia (in the game), who screamed as she writhed from the magic being pumped into her; moments later, in big, red letters, came the words 'Player 2 wins!'. Guards that had bet on Luna cheered, throwing their helmets into the air and jeering at the other guards that bet on Celestia, who grumbled and began to stiffly walk away from the scene; eventually, all the guards left the scene after a few words from Luna, and soon, it was only the two princesses left in the guards' break room. Luna looked over at Celestia, who groaned as she tossed her controller away, and hid her head underneath a life sized Twilight plushie. Luna giggled, and then began to jump around Celestia, quite happy with herself. "I win, sister, I win! I win I win I win I win!" "How could you have possibly beat me ten times in a row...? I've played this game longer than you have! I even practiced!" "I'm obviously better, Tia!" "Okay, okay, I admit defeat, Lulu..." "What about the 'bet' that you made with me, huh?" With another groan of despair, Celestia levitated the life sized Twilight plushie over to her, which Luna hugged with glee. "Ha ha! Your life sized Twilight plushie is now mine, Tia!" Celestia growled playfully at her sister, and threw a disdainful look at the case of the game, 'Almost Mortal Kombat'. "You made me lose my life sized Twilight plushie! Now I have to secretly have one made with another non disclosure agreement!" Author's Note Mercy = Apparently a Fatality Almost Mortal Kombat = Mortal Kombat that apparently has swords Life sized Twilight plushie makes another appearance I don't even know what I'm writing anymore
Your words wound me, Lulu!Your words wound me, Lulu! Celestia hummed quietly to herself as she walked down one of the many hallways in the castle; although she was technically supposed to be working right now, a little break now and then wouldn't hurt anypony. Best case scenario would be having her study catch on fire while she was away, burning some of those weird proposal Blueblood made while mysteriously keeping the 'good' ones safe. Unfortunately, that probably wasn't going to happen anytime soon, but a mare, especially an alicorn, could dream, right? Besides, she could always dump any leftover work on Luna; some revenge for the brown paper bag incident wouldn't be uncalled for, and Luna was probably playing checkers with one of her advisers anyway. Along her unguided path around the castle, she met ponies, be they guards, servants, nobility, Blueblood (who had somehow managed to freeze a small portion of the hallway he was in, and was ice skating), and a few tourists. All had looked upon her with awe, and more than a few commented on her mane; if there was one thing that Celestia was vain about, it was her mane. She stopped right in front of Luna's room; the guards shifted a bit uncomfortably, but otherwise ignored the solar princess standing just outside the lunar princess' room. Now, the general story behind the mane that many ponies believed was that Celestia's mane had changed color after using the Elements of Harmony, causing her formerly pink mane to turn into the vibrant, flowing thing it was today. Some ponies argued that she could change her hair color at a whim, and merely prefered the many hues of the rainbow than her former pink. Interestingly enough, it was a combination of the two that leads to her current mane color of rainbow. Her little flashback was interrupted by Luna's door opening up, and she watched as Luna came outside of her quarters with a yawn, which was quickly stifled when she saw her sister just outside the door. "Hello, Tia." Celestia smiled at her sister, and stepped forward to nuzzle her affectionately. "Hello, Lulu. Sleep well?" Luna backed away from the nuzzling, and nodded, a tired smile reaching at her lips. "I'm a bit tired, sister, but I feel fine other than that." "I'm glad to hear it, Lulu; I'm sorry, I stopped here unconsciously, I suppose, while having a bit of a flashback." "Oh? Do tell?" Flashbacks were slightly related to dreams and nightmares, which was Luna's domain, and she could make sense of it if her sister had problems with it. " You have me interested now; is it bothersome, and what is it about, Tia?" Celestia waved a hoof carelessly, with a slight smile on her face as she casually dismissed her sister. "I'm fine, Lulu, and my flashback was related to my mane." "Your mane, huh..." Luna took a sidelong look at Celestia's mane, and nodded slowly; she could understand having flashbacks to something horrible; heck, she still had flashbacks to the things she did as Nightmare Moon, such as eating apples...How could she do such a thing?! It only made sense that having a mane such as that would cause reoccurring flashbacks. "I'm sorry that you have such horrible flashbacks, then, Tia." "...Excuse me? Horrible flashbacks of what, exactly?" "...Your mane? The thing that looks like Discord barfed rainbows on, and then smeared around to create that thing you dare call a mane? I can understand why you'd have flashbacks about that, Tia. I know I would." Celestia did not take kindly to what Luna thought was the reason of her flashbacks, and began to retort. "T-That's rude, Lulu! I don't say that your mane looks like...Like..." Celestia fumbled around for words frantically, trying to give a retort about Luna's mane that was worse than 'rainbow barf'. Both princesses stood there for about three minutes when Luna sighed; sometimes, Celestia could take forever to think about something, never mind actually doing anything. "...You can't think of anything, can you, sister?" It took a fair while before Celestia finally sighed, and hung her head in defeat. "...No." "You always were terrible at making comebacks; anyway, sister; what is the story behind your mane? I think I liked it pink better than that...Thing; you honestly like that?" "Yes, I do, and, well, you see, Lulu, in the 'battle' against you...Nightmare Moon," (Celestia had not dared lift her hooves to strike back at her sister, and instead, merely defended herself while she retreated to the Elements of Harmony, so it wasn't technically a 'battle') "I was so tired from defending myself and from using the raw power of the Elements that no less than five minutes after I banished you...Nightmare Moon to the moon, I collapsed and fell asleep; unfortunately, or fortunately, in my case, I had fallen asleep on a patch of poison joke, the dreaded flower that many a pony takes great pains to avoid. "For some reason, instead of cursing me with some kind of sick, twisted joke, the only effect it had on me was to dye my mane in multiple colors; I can tell you, when I woke up and saw my reflection on an nearby piece of shattered glass, I was amazed and I wondered why my mane was suddenly such a vibrant hue of colors, when I was then suddenly rushed by a crowd of ponies cheering my name, admiring my new mane, and running through the very patch of poison joke I had slept on as I tried to make sense of all that was going on, in vain. I tell you, Lulu, it was a very confusing morning, which only turned into sadness as I realized that you'd be gone for a...Very long time. "The morning after that was pretty funny, considering the day before it, and I still remember it very clearly today; when my mane was back to its normal pink and all the ponies that had praised me yesterday had hilarious curses placed on them, it didn't take long for me to put two and two together. Now, instead of rolling around in a patch of poison joke, however, I have it specially processed into a shampoo, which I now lather into my mane with everyday in the shower. That, Lulu, is the story of my mane." A skeptical Luna mulled over Celestia's words for awhile before flatly frowning at her. "...This is a joke, right? A really, really bad joke? Has Discord been teaching you how to make really long and bad jokes that have a punchline weaker than your stomach when it comes to cake?" "...Discord has nothing to do with this, or me, my stomach is not that weak when it comes to cake, and why would I be joking about this, Lulu?" Luna rolled her eyes; she couldn't honestly take her sister's story seriously. "That story seems really, really dumb, no offense..." Celestia winced, and looked away from her sister. "Wow, that makes me feel so, so much better, Lulu." "Hey, you're the one that told me the dumb story." Celestia made a melodramatic sigh, and fell over on a conveniently placed sofa, scoring more dramatic points than Rarity ever could. "Your words wound me, Lulu! The only way to ease this pain you have caused me is a nice, moist, mouth watering slice of cake!" She decided to humor her sister; after all, she needed her breakfast anyway. "Sure, let's go to the kitchens, sister." The sofa disappeared, and Celestia got back up on her hooves. The two sisters then walked off towards the royal kitchens, ready to ravage whatever they could find to fill the empty void in their stomachs, much to the chefs' near horror. Author's Note Poison joke shampoo, results may vary This has to be canon Blueblood likes ice skating and being a cameo in the stories
Third pony is fun, Tia!Third pony is fun, Tia! A rather carefree Luna hummed quietly to herself as she walked outside Canterlot; while she would usually have been sighted down immediately and crowded around with by ponies, she had taken the extra effort to disguise to herself, and as a result of that, she was little more than a navy-blue, teenage filly with a horn (the wings having been placed under an illusion spell) and some bits, looking around for something to eat. While it was true that the kitchens produced some fine food, it was usually high-class fare, and as much as Luna enjoyed eating it, 'lower' class food was something that she also enjoyed (the first time she had hayfries, she nearly cleaned out the restaurant completely), so she looked forward to getting something that 'common' ponies would eat. After finding a particularly unhealthy looking restaurant, she was happily beginning to munch on her quickly made, extremely greasy and equally unhealthy tray of hay fries. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed that a small crowd of fillies and colts were gathered around something. Curious, she took a moment to levitate her hay shake (yet another unhealthy concoction that she loved) to her mouth to take a small sip from before walking towards them, wondering why they were in such a slowly increasing group. The answer was given when she saw that the fillies and colts were gathered around a unicorn, showing rather impressive illusion magics and tricks. While Luna knew most of what the unicorn was doing (having invented these spells originally for combat and deceiving purposes against her sister), she nevertheless clapped with the fillies and colts, proud of the fact that ponies were still using the things she made, even if it was for something as trivial as entertaining other ponies. After a particularly impressive display of fireworks, the unicorn bowed, and smiled an extremely proud smile before speaking for the first time, in a manner that interested Luna. "Thank you, thank all for coming to Trixie's magic show! You may show your appreciation for her by donating bits to her if you enjoyed her show! Sadly, The Great and Powerful Trixie is tired now, but don't fret, fillies and colts, she'll be back tomorrow!" The former groans from the fillies and colts gave way to cheers as Trixie bowed once more, and the parents of the children tossed a few bits into a jar laid out on stage; Luna tossed ten in, unconcerned about her money, and wondering why the mare referred to herself in what happened to sound like a more modern version of the Royal We. This was something to inquire about! She followed the unicorn, and before she climbed into what appeared to be a wagon, Luna cleared her throat, catching the attention of Trixie; the unicorn sighed, and walked up to her, clearly agitated for some reason. She got off the steps to her wagon, and looked over Luna with a critical eye. "Yes, what do you want from the Great and Powerful Trixie? Autographs? She don't see any paper or a pen on you. Magic lessons? Not at this moment, for she is tired, and she does not think she could find the time anyway to train an apprentice. She trusts you have something else to ask?" Luna was a bit startled by the unicorn's straightforward and somewhat cold behavior towards her, but at least it wasn't as cold as some of the nobles. In fact, she could say that compared to them, this unicorn seemed polite, which was saying a lot. "I'm interested about something else, Trixie, was it?" "The Great and Powerful Tri-" Luna nodded quickly, and spoke over Trixie; sometimes, it was best to not let a pony finish what they were saying, lest they go off on an extremely long-winded monologue. "Yes yes, the Great and Powerful Trixie, I actually wanted to ask you a question." "What is this question that you wish to ask Trixie?" "Why do you speak like that?" A confused Trixie stared blankly at her before speaking. "Like what?" "Calling yourself 'her' and 'she' and never using 'I', as if you were another pony entirely, talking about another. Why do you do that?" Trixie looked around for a moment before shrugging, and gave Luna a short explanation. "Trixie saw ponies in days of old refer to themselves as 'thou' or 'thy', as well as a few eccentric ponies talking about themselves as if they were another pony; Trixie decided that what Trixie saw, Trixie liked, and has been speaking like this ever since then, she supposes. She calls it 'third pony'. Now, if you'll excuse Trixie, she needs some bed rest." Trixie walked back up to her wagon, opened up the door with quite a nasty squeak, and closed the door with that same grating squeaking noise. Luna was left alone to mull her thoughts over as she drank a little bit more from her hay shake as she retreated to a more secluded alleyway; it was quite interesting to see how this Trixie had decided on a unique speech patten for herself. Once she was finished with the hay shake, she threw it away into a nearby trash bin, and concentrated on some magic; with a pop, she teleported back into the castle, and she shed her disguise before walking out towards her courtroom. It would be amusing to see how Tia would react to a sudden change in speech... Speak of the alicorn, slap her rump and give her a banana, here comes Celestia right now! Luna waved at her sister, remembering her previous thought, and decided that now would be as good a time as ever to begin speaking in this 'third pony' that Trixie had talked about; it wouldn't be that hard, at least, she hoped it wouldn't be. "Hello, Tia!" Okay, so maybe she couldn't start right off. "Hello, Lulu. How are you?" Here goes nothing! "Luna is doing fine, Tia! She asks if it is the same for you!" A look of confusion spread on Celestia's face, and she slapped a hoof to her head in disappointment, completed with a sigh. "Lulu? Are you already reverting back to the Royal We? We worked hard on this! Nooooo!" Luna shook her head, and frowned at her sister before replying, "No! Lulu is speaking in the third pony, and she is confused on whether or not she is doing it right!" Although unnoticeable by any other pony, there was a hidden glint in Luna's eyes, confirming Celestia's suspicions that this was a joke. Catching onto Luna's little game, Celestia was a little miffed, but she thought it was pretty funny, and so, after a short moment, she decided to play along with her. "Well, Tia is quite certain that Lulu is speaking in third pony correctly, for now!" An opened mouthed Luna stared at her, and Celestia winked mischievously. "What? Did Lulu think that she could pull a fast one over Tia?" "...Yes, Lulu thought she could." "Well, Tia thinks that while Lulu made a good attempt, nothing gets by her older sister, Tia!" Luna scowled at her before cuffing her sister. "Lulu supposes so; Tia knows Lulu too much!" A fit of giggles overtook her before she breathed out, "Third pony is fun, Tia!" Celestia returned the cuff in good humor. "Tia supposes it is," she chirped as she cuffed her sister back; as she did so, however, an idea came to mind. "Hey, Tia has an idea!" "Lulu wonders what that might be, Tia." "Tia thinks that we should talk to our own courts like this!" "Yes! That sounds like a good plan, Tia!" So, the two went off on their on separate ways with the intent on speaking third pony to their own respective courts. Author's Note I wanted some Trixie so now there's some Trixie The nobles later on would be severely confused, and begin panicking, screaming about Nightmare Moon and Sunshine Rays (Celestia's supposed evil persona, created in some teen romance novel) banding together to take over Equestria and throw it to chaos, where Discord would then be the supreme ruler of all Luna likes unhealthy food
Heck no, Lulu!Heck no, Lulu! There wasn't much that Celestia needed in life; in fact, being immortal, you happened to lose interest in most physical things. The only things that Celestia wanted was food, and plushies. Starting from Starswirl, she had a plushie made of every personal student that she had the privilege to teach, and she took pristine care of them, to try and make them last as long as her. Of course, that wasn't going to be the case, but she could always have new ones made, and she liked plushies. Of course, eventually, there was a problem with that. Celestia liked things down to the minute detail, and that often meant making the plushies life-sized. While this wasn't a problem for the first ten plushies, she was beginning to feel a bit cramped by the twenty-fourth, and was desperately looking for another place to put these plushies away in her room by the seventieth. They were now in a large storage area, but every time, Celestia couldn't help but shudder whenever she had flashbacks to what she now called the 'plushie invasion of her room'. At this very moment, in fact, Celestia was heading towards the very storage area that held all five million plushies. She cherished this area above all her physical possessions, and guarded it with a combination of state of the art security systems and magical barriers and traps, both working together in harmony to guard this most sacred area of Celestia's. Only alicorns could bypass all these security measures, and Celestia was fairly certain that Luna had no idea that this place even existed; a thousand years was a good amount of time to hide something from your sister. "Oh, don't you worry, my plushies, momma's coming for you~" Celestia sang as she twirled about the hallway. This hallway, however, was not your ordinary hallway, as it had traps that would activate at a moments notice if the pony striding down the hallway wasn't an alicorn. Rocket propelled muffins, turrets that would pop out from the walls, firing streams of licorice, and the floor would turn into quicksand; all that and many more defensive systems that were known only to Celestia were in place, and she danced down it like she didn't care. Eventually, there was one final defense in her way; it was a simple looking door that seperated her from the plushies. It wasn't simple at all, though, despite its look; this was a four hoof-lengthed thick wall of steel, and unless you had explosives (and lots of them), you weren't getting through; although, you could simply be an alicorn with a long enough horn to use the horn lock in the middle of the door. Deciding to do just that, Celestia lowered her head slightly, and carefully slid her horn into the lock completely, waiting for the door to accept the horn. A short moment passed before a 'ding' was heard, and after Celestia removed her horn from the lock, the door began to slowly open, revealing to Celestia the magical plushies stored inside. Squeeing with glee, Celestia bounded into the room, and picked up a random plushie, a stallion, and she was hugging it tightly. "Oh, Hammerjack, I've missed you so! Why, without your wonderful invention of the hammer that was originally made to crush the skulls of the enemies of Equestria, I wouldn't have nailed, carpeted floors! Oh, I wake up every morning to those carpets, which stay snugly in place thanks to your hammer and some nails!" She set Hammerjack down, and ran forward to greet another pony, a pegasus mare, pressing her hoof to the plushie's nose gently. "Boopsie! You were the very first pony that wasn't so scared of me, and even teased me! Ponies to this day still 'boop' each other on the nose after seeing you do it to me without getting fried to a crisp!" She levitated the mare away, and ran forward around the plushies to hug two ponies together, which were near identical in looks and only differed from each other by a small stripe down their tails and manes. It didn't help that they had equally sounding names, either. "Mia! Nia! It's so good to see you two rascals again! All those jokes you two played on me were both aggravating and funny! Oh...If only you could've met Luna. She'd have enjoyed collaborating with you to create some of the greatest pranks ever! There's so much more that we should have done together..." The sudden clop of hooves hitting the floor alerted Celestia, and with a scream of rage, her mane and tail blew up in flames. After turning around, she stared down the pony that managed to enter her most private sanctuary, her shrine to her five million life sized plushies, and spoke in low, threatening tone, with a cackle of electricity running around. She did not take kindly to ponies sneaking up on her, even more so in the most sacred of places. "HOW DARE YOU TO HAVE ENTERED MY MOST SACRE-" "Tia?" Upon hearing Luna's voice, the cackle of electricity disappeared, her mane and tail blew out, and Celestia's anger melted away to confusion. "Lulu? What are you doing here?" "I got bored, and started following you; you have...A lot of plushies, sister." Celestia followed her sister's gaze around the storage room, and nodded, smiling. "Five million plushies, Luna, of past students and ponies that have contributed something amazing to Equestria. Building a monument for every one of these ponies would be too expensive, and not many ponies would know why they would be praised for something so simple; instead, I have plushies of them made, so that I can remember and praise them what they have done for Equestria myself. Erm, how did you get past my defenses? How did you even find this place, anyway?" Luna smirked at her sister, clearly amused by the questions Celestia asked, and took the time to make a quick shot at her sister. "Well, it's not hard following a rump as large as yours, Tia! I also have some invisibility spells and noise-dampening spells, which I used to great effect. Anyway, after I followed you, I saw this sign that said that only alicorns could walk down this hallway. I'm obviously an alicorn, sister." As her sister was rethinking the idea of an 'alicorn-only' defense system, Luna looked around the gigantic storeroom, with all the plushies assembled, and couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the presence of all these plushies; they all had a story behind them, with accomplishments of making either some of the more mundane inventions in Equestria that she couldn't bear to live without (bubble baths were absolutely delightful) to more complex things that were purely for show (such as that 'defense' system she just walked past). "...All these ponies contributed to Equestria? Every last single one of them? Five...Million of them, you said there were?" "Yes, five million of them, and all have bettered Equestria in some way, shape or form!" Luna continued looking around the storage unit for a moment, then slowly wrapped her hooves around one of the plushies, which happened to be a replica of Rainbow Dash; she squeezed it gently as she asked her sister a question. "May I take this on-" "Heck no, Lulu!" "Tiiiiiiiiiia!" Celestia shot her sister a glare that made Luna whimper, and she lifted up one of the plushie's wings to hide her face from. The cute sight of Luna hiding behind a plushie's wing softened Celestia's anger, and she strode up to Luna, levitating a plushie in the likeness of Lyra (this plushie was made because Celestia enjoyed watching the unicorn bashing her lyre over Blueblood's head), and she sat next to Luna, with a slight smile on her face as she gently poked Luna's side with Lyra's horn. "You won't be able to take them, Lulu, but we can play with the plushies here." Luna looked up from under plushie dash's wing, and offered a smile at her sister. "Play, with the plushies? All of them?" "Why, yes, if we have the time to play toget-" "Then let's start now, sister!" Author's Note All the names of the OC plushies seem off to me Celestia likes plushies, decided to make a story on that Luna is confused and wants some plushies Not all of Celestia's students were unicorns, but all of them have had some extraordinary power compared to peers Totally not RD x Luna shipping
Shining Armor is weirder, Lulu!Shining Armor is weirder, Lulu! What a beautiful day in the crystal empire! Celestia hummed to herself as she walked over to the dining room in the crystal castle, and sat herself down; while Luna was holding the fort down in Canterlot (she hoped that there was a castle to return to), she was off paying her niece and her nephew-in-law a little visit to see how things were going. One of her immediate concerns were the sudden 'crystallization' process her body and mane went through, but it was quickly written off as a temporary thing that would wear off when she left the empire. This land was a very strange, yet beautiful part of Equestria, and she had not had much time in the past to experience its pleasant atmosphere. A servant stopped by, making rather audible noise with his hooves to get her attention. Tradition, too, seemed different here, as while the servants here were loud and visible, her servants were usually hiding away and were very quiet. "Princess Celestia, is there anything that you desire from the kitchens?" Celestia nodded with a polite smile, and gave a rather simple list of what she wanted; sometimes, a simple breakfast was all you needed to start the day well. "A plate of waffles, twenty stacks high, and some syrup, please, with a cup of water." The servant nodded, bowed, and promptly went through the large kitchen doors to relay the order that he received, not a hint of amazement about how many waffles he was asked to bring her. She only had to wait a short while before her plate of waffles, a large bottle of syrup and a cup of water came by, something that pleased her greatly. "Thank you!" Once the servant left, she levitated the bottle of syrup up to the top of the imposing stack of waffles, and poured the syrup, her eyes taking in the way how the syrup would pool in the squares of the waffles before overflowing and moving onto the next square; how the syrup would slither down the sides of the imposing stack of waffles, drenched in the sweet, thick liquid that completed every waffle and pancake. It was like staring at heaven itself, if heaven were a stack of sweet, sticky waffles. Wait, what? She swore that somepony stole the first ten waffles right under her nose, because she didn't remember eating them. She only just noticed the syrup around her muzzle and the still clean fork next to her side when Shining Armor came in through the door, a tired smile on his face. Oh, hey, it's Princess Celestia! "Ah, Princess Celestia! It's been awhile." He sat down at the table, just across from her, and gave a lazy salute. The princess wiped her messy face with a napkin, which only helped slightly, and grinned at him. "Indeed it has, Shining Armor! Care to join me for some breakfast?" He nodded, and looked at the stack of waffles that had been demolished, then at the alicorn that was eating them. "Looks like some alicorn has been busy eating; servant!" A servant quickly came from the kitchens, this time, a mare, waiting for his orders. "I'd like a stack of five waffles, please, and two glasses of orange juice." The mare nodded, and went back into the kitchen. No syrup? Celestia, meanwhile, finished gobbling down her seventeenth waffle (this time, using the previously clean fork) before making a comment about the lack of syrup in his order. "Did you forget to ask for some syrup as well, Shining Armor?" "Why yes I...What, princess?" "So you did forget! Don't worry, I'm sure there's enough syrup left in this little container for your measly little stack of five waffles." She levitated the bottle of syrup over to him, though her action was stopped as Shining Armor lit up his own horn; at first, she thought it was to take the syrup bottle from her, though it was to actually repel the bottle away from him. Perplexed, Celestia tried once again, only to be pushed back a little more firmly by Shining Armor. "Shining Armor, what is the meaning of this? Do you expect me to believe you can eat waffles without syrup?" To her horror and dismay, her former captain of the guard (you can't expect him to protect two princesses at the same time who just so happen to be living miles away from each other) nodded slowly, which caused her to slam a hoof down on the table with such force that she left a sizeable dent into the crystalwork. The servant that was delievering Shining Armor's plate of waffles dropped the plate in front of him hastily before leaving for the kitchens, obviously not wanting to be near the two in case sparks flew. ...This isn't going to end well for me, is it? I'm sorry, Caddy! After clearing his throat audibly, Shining Armor carefully asked Celestia if she was alright. "...Princess, is there something troubling you?" He has to be lying. "Prove it." "...What? Prove what to you, exactly?" "Prove you can eat waffles without syrup. That should not be possible for anypony!" Shining Armor looked as he were going to say something, then shrugged as he levitated his fork; then, to Celestia's horror, he actually began eating the waffles. Without syrup, butter, without...Anything on it! Shining Armor continued to munch on his waffles, clearly amused by Celestia's reaction to him eating waffles without syrup. For a princess, she's certainly very silly! "I don't like syrup, Celestia; it's too thick and has too much sugar in it. I'd rather eat my waffles plain." "...That, Lulu, is when I whacked Shining Armor over the head with a stop sign, to show him that you should put syrup on your waffles! Shining Armor is weirder, Lulu! At least Cadence actually has an excuse to not dip cookies into milk; Shining Armor just doesn't want to put syrup on his waffles!" ...What? Luna stared at her sister impassively for a moment before deciding to focus on the one part of the story that didn't make any sense to her. "Where did you get the stop sign, Tia?" ...Where did I get the stop sign? Celestia sighed, and her hoof met her face. "Does that really matter, Lulu?! Shining Armor cannot eat waffles without syrup!" Oh, for the love of... Luna snapped at her sister, getting a bit annoyed at how her sister was blowing things out of proportion. "I can understand his plight, sister! Syrup really is a bit too thick and sugary once you think about it!" Snapping back, Celestia still refused to believe that ponies could eat waffles without syrup. "I eat it just fine, Lulu! I don't find it that thick! Why should anypony else?" "You're different because you practically inhale your waffles without even remembering you even ate them in the first place!" The solar princess opened her mouth to deny that, when she remembered the first ten waffles suddenly disappearing in front of her. Darn it. "I...will not argue with you on that." "Let's agree on one thing both, sister." Celestia leaned in slightly, interested in what Luna had to say. "Agree on what, Lulu?" "That Shining Armor and Cadence are both weird." I'm not entirely sure that Cadence is weird, but better to not argue that with her. "Agreed!" Luna nodded, satisfied of their agreement, and smiled. "Shall we go to a jacuzzi and relax in a tub of molten chocolate with marshmallows and floating rubber ducks?" "That would be wonderful, Lulu!" Author's Note First dual chapter release There is a part one to this You did read that first right The hypocrisy at Luna's statement when compared to themselves
I am not, Tia!I am not, Tia! Luna sighed as she bit into a piece of toast while levitating the morning (in her case, night) paper up in front of her, wondering what was worthy enough to be put on the headlines. Ponies today seem to be more dramatic than the ones in the past; honestly, the front page was full of drivel about somepony losing a bet! Admittedly it was Blueblood that lost the bet, but come on, did that really have to be on the front page, or in the newspaper at all? It was just him eating 'commoner' food as a result of losing the bet, and THAT was on the front page? Three pages into the newspaper was an amazingly small article about a fire in Canterlot that had destroyed a bakery and could have spread even further if it wasn't for the brave firefighting ponies! How could that not have been on the front page?! Luna had almost given up on finding anything else of worthwhile interest in the paper when she realized that there was one section that she hadn't read yet; the funnies. She allowed herself a small smile as she flipped over to them, and browsed through the comics, enjoying the humor that the ponies who made these little divine tidbits. Her browsing ended almost abruptly when she turned the page to see the 'gossip' section; she had mixed feelings about it. On one hoof, it was almost assured that she would find nothing but complete garbage in here; on the other hoof, she knew gossip to be completely outrageous at times (Celestia was a changeling? She very nearly died laughing on the spot after reading that particular line of gossip), so it might not have hurt to take a little peek to try and satisfy her sense of humor. As expected, most of the gossip she found was nothing but pure nonsense and garbage, sometimes even a combination of both. Snorting, she was about to toss the paper away and finish her breakfast when she noticed one of the lines mentioning her name off the corner of her eye; perplexed, she scanned the line of gossip, wondering what it had to do with her. Immediately after finishing the line, Luna stood bolt upright, knocking over her chair, rattling the table, and scaring the maid that was clearing away the empty dishes of toast (ten in all, Luna loved her toast) that Luna had already eaten; Luna noticed this, and frowned. Ponies are still scared of me, it seems. "Err...We...I am sorry, maid, but I was surprised by something, and that something has me very offended. I hope I didn't scare you too much." Judging by how the maid had reacted, Luna knew that she did in fact scare the maid senseless, though the maid didn't answer back with words, but with a simple shaking of her head; ponies were such terrible liars now, as well. What she wouldn't give for ponies to tell the truth! It was hard to tell if a pony wanted you to do this, or do that! Sighing, she levitated a napkin to clean her face of crumbs before setting it down on top of one of the dirty plates the maid had yet to collect yet. "We are...I am going to find my sister, and discuss some things with her before she goes to sleep." Without waiting for an answer from the maid, Luna quickly made her exit from the dining room, and began to walk towards her sister's room, newspaper with her. She gave a slight nod or a murmured 'hello' to anypony that passed by her, though she quickly cut off anypony wanting to say anything more than a simple greeting. Time was of the essence, because if Celestia went to sleep now, there would be no power within her ability to wake Celestia up. Upon arriving at her sister's door, she shooed the two guards away, then knocked upon it three times, waiting for her sister to open the door. A few minutes passed before Luna knocked on the door two times, frustrated, Luna pulled a hoof back, ready to punch through her sister's door if that meant that she'd get her attention. Unfortunately, she swung her hoof the moment a tired and bleary eyed Celestia opened the door; this meant that Luna had just clobbered her own sister, who was now sprawled out on the floor from the sudden and unwanted pain. Oh. "Tia! I'm so, so sorry!" "...Get the license number of that flying poptart..." Luna's look of worry morphed into one of confusion, as she tried to make sense of what her sister had just said. "...What? Tia, have you been indulging in the royal wine cellars without informing me?" Celestia sighed, allowing herself to wallow in her pain for a moment before answering her sister. "Oh, my snout...Luna? Is that you?" Despite the fact that she just punched her sister squarely in the snout, she couldn't help but snort at Celestia's question; of course it was her! It wasn't as if there were any others that were like her. "No, Tia, I'm the other alicorn that just happens to look like your sister. We take turns lowering the moon!" Great, now she's being smart with me. "Very funny, Lulu...Ow." Celestia groaned as she got off the floor, rubbing her snout gingerly as she frowned at Luna. "Do you mind telling me why you began knocking on my door the moment I just laid down in my bed, and then flooring me?" "This!" Luna held up the newspaper, and Celestia leaned in, squinting at the newspaper. "...Prince Blueblood seen to painting graffiti on a statue of me in Canterlot public park in plain sight...?" "Yes, that's...Wait, what?" Her confusion was turned into hurt as Celestia hugged her sister tightly, with evident joy radiating off her. "Yay! I'm glad my nephew picked up some courage and painted that horrid hack-job of a statue!" "Erm, T-Tia?" "Hm?" "You're crushing me again." "Oh, I'm sorry, Lulu!" Celestia promptly let go of Luna, who grumbled as she ignored the pain of having her bones suddenly compressed against her will. I'm alive... "...It's..Ow...Alright, Tia. That's not I wanted you to see, however. Take a look at this!" She pointed at a certain line of gossip, and Celestia read through it, raising an eyebrow at Luna when she was finished. "...Luna has a crazy obsesson with moon pies?" Luna nodded, and stamped a hoof down on the ground, cracking the unfortunate marble floor and causing Celestia to wince at the sound; Luna still had yet to notice the bits being drained from the treasury because of their antics and the fact that they were destroying the castle. In fact, that was the reason why they abandoned the first castle in the Everfree; Luna and Celestia then made a rule to never rough-house with each other over a chocolate bar. "We...I do not have an obsession with moon pies!" Celestia made a disbelieving snort. "That's all you ever eat when it comes to snack time." Luna sighed, and shook her head; the line of gossip in the newspaper was bad enough, she was not going to take this from her sister as well! "I still deny the obsession!" "Everypony sees you eating moon pies." "So?! You're always seen eating cake." Celestia's temper wasn't improving; she needed her sleep, not an argument with her sister. "I don't deny eating cake, and...You...Made a shrine, dedicated to moon pies, in PLAIN sight, for EVERYPONY to see; I'm not THAT obsessed with cake as you are with moon pies. Give it up, Lulu." Luna sighed, and looked sheepishly at Celestia, who was leaning slightly on her doorway, giving her the 'Well, Lulu?' kind of look that meant that she was waiting for a response. "...Perhaps I do have a slight...Inclination towards moon pies..." "Slight inclination? Face it, you're obsessed with moon pies, Lulu." "I am not, Tia!" Author's Note Celestia is a heavy sleeper Luna hates gossip What else am I missing
Ha Ha, very funny, Lulu!Ha Ha, very funny, Lulu! Well, this is new. Outwardly, Celestia sighed and looked disturbed as she looked over the damage reports that prince Blueblood had caused; graffiti on the walls, charged with the assault and battery of Philomena, and somehow hijacking a truck full of cinnamon buns with a broom and a paperclip with some accomplice playing the saxophone in the background, only to park the truck right outside his home, where he was found gorging on cinnamon buns at four o'clock in the morning with the sound of quiet sax being played nearby. Inwardly, however, she was jealous and happy for Blueblood; he was finally living the life! No more was he hidden underneath that stuffy, princey persona! Though, there was a touch of jealousy, as he was doing all the things she wanted to, and she knew that if she ever tried to do the things he did here, the whole nation would have been shocked to the core about the 'prim and proper' princess doing such depraved things. Thank you for giving me a little bit of humor today, nephew. She wrote off Blueblood's charges, even if it meant paying out of her own pocket for a little damage to Canterlot and a few scarred ponies that had their opinions about Blueblood changed; the one thing her nephew wouldn't get out of, though, was the talk she was going to have with him about laying low and being discreet next time. Things were only fun when you could get away with it. That, and if there was an actual point in doing things like this, only to get easily caught later; criminal activities weren't exactly the best place to go to for fun, especially if the cinnamon buns you stole were supposed to be a part of her breakfast. Woo! I need a break for all this. Afterwards, Celestia stood up from her desk, and exited her study room; after all, reading such a humorous report after that? There was no way she'd be able to go back to paperwork after that! She'd just dump her work on her sister. Luna might grumble at her, but that was nothing a moon pie couldn't fix. Or a little bit of tickle torture. It's so warm today...Perfect! As she passed by a window, she stretched her wings out in joy as the warmth from her sun touched her for the first time in a few hours; she disliked being confined to her study, though that was mostly her fault. Still, she really needed to get out more, and she spent a few moments standing out there, letting her sun seep through into her fur. At least, until a voice called her out on it. "Are you a statue, or my sister?" The sound of the mocking voice made Celestia roll her eyes as she played along with this pony's joke. "I'm the statue of Celestia, the one and only princess of cake!" Celestia folded her wings back in, and turned around at the sound of the voice, which, of course, happened to be none other than Luna, who stuck her tongue out at her before cuffing Celestia gently, which was replicated by her sister. The two giggled softly together before Luna spoke up, with a curious glint in her eyes. "So, why are you out of your study, Tia? I thought that you said today's papers were going to be more demanding than usual." You don't know the half of it. Celestia nodded, and vaguely waved a hoof over at her study, disgruntled about her work. "Even so, after reading a particularly hilarious report, I feel inclined to relax after reading it; it leaves a better taste in my mouth than relaxing after reading some fifty page proposal about growing apples on clouds and how it would benefit the pegasai." "...Is that even possible? Growing trees on clouds, I mean." "I don't know if it is, Lulu, but I'd feel safer knowing that the cloud I'm flying under won't suddenly drop an apple tree on me." Luna snorted, and began walking down the hallway, followed closely by Celestia, who was still thinking about Blueblood's deeds earlier this morning; Luna noticed her sister's thoughts occupied elsewhere, and sighed. Her sister could be so concentrated on her thoughts that she wasn't able to see what was in front of her; Luna stopped as Celestia continued walking forward, into a set of very heavy, and from the sound, very hurtful pair of oak doors. Celestia, zero, oak doors, one, as one could tell from the sprawled out alicorn in front of the doors. Celestia, after being so immersed in her thoughts, was a little bit loopy and tried to figure out what just happened to her, though probably not in the best of ways. "...Mommy, did Lulu drop a piano on me again?" Snorting, Luna dryly commented as she walked up to her sister, helping her back up to her hooves. "The mighty oak doors have defeated you in mortal combat, sister, and now they ask to be the sole rulers of Equestria while we languish in chains in some backwater dungeon. How could you, Tia?! Equestria was depending on you to save us all from the oak doors!" My sister, the comedian. "Ha ha, very funny, Lulu!" Celestia shot her a glare as she tried to push open the doors, to no avail; she sighed, and kicked at the doors, only to get a smarting pain in her hoof. "Ow! Why won't this darn door open?!" Luna took a long look at her sister before she gave her a simple answer for such a simple question. "Pull." Celestia looked confused by the simple answer, and voiced it as such with an equally simple question. "What?" Is it not obvious enough? Luna tried again, gesturing towards the door as she said her answer. "Pull." Lulu... Celestia fumed; she was getting nowhere with Luna's games, so she decided to be a little more specific. "Pull what?" OH FOR FAUST'S SAKE... With a groan, Luna decided to physically show her sister what she meant. Grasping onto one of the handles, she pulled the door open, flatly explaining to her sister, "Pull the door." "...And that is why I now have the imprint of a stop sign on my rump, with brick debris all over my body and some chewed up gum in my mane." Luna finished explaining to one prince Blueblood, who smirked and tried to contain his giggling; Luna rolled her eyes, and walked off, smarting from the pain from her rump getting hit by a stop sign swung at a good eighty miles per hour, had bricks thrown at her, and had gum forcibly stuck to her mane by a raging Princess Celestia, who then afterwards cried herself to sleep due to being bested by giant oak doors. Author's Note Celestia loves imprinting stop signs on rumps Gum stuck in your hair is terrible I need to write more Blueblood interaction Tia now has a hatred for doors, specifically oak ones
This is art, Tia!This is art, Tia! Ugh. Today was boring; why did cheap thrills and fun have to be so fleeting and far inbetween? Luna would have killed to have Discord's power for her own, if it meant she could have some fun on a whim. Though, she'd probably then be the new god(dess) of chaos, placed into stone, and...Well, she didn't want that. Things had their drawbacks, it seemed. Sighing, she continued to walk through what was considered to be the most artistic museum in Canterlot, the 'Museum of the creative works of all sentient beings. It contained everything from the wild yet refined paintings of the buffalo to the 'art' of the ramblings and chicken scratch of some of the most insane ponies to have ever existed, and even poetry written by lovesick mules over seaponies existed here. It also meant that she was extremely bored. She liked art, make no mistake, but she liked art that was new, brilliant, dazzling, something she wouldn't usually have stopped to look at and even consider it art; now, that was what she liked to see from ponies. Not this...Boring canvas in front of her depicting a mare eating an app-. She decided to let the name of the accursed 'fruit' go unfinished, and she inwardly shuddered as she quickly left the painting. In fact, to heck with this museum, she was getting out! Ponies looked away from the paintings to see Luna stride out the doors with a bang, and take in a deep breath of clean, fresh air; finally, away from the stuffiness and boring tones of colorful yet very bland art inside of the museum! Once outside, she began walking around Canterlot, not particularly looking for anything or anypony. She was bowed to and asked if she needed anything, of course, but for the most part, she was ignored. That was great! It meant she could walk down the streets of Canterlot without her thoughts being interrupted. Unfortunately, that was not to be, as she heard the rattle of a spray can, and then the telltale sound of it being sprayed. Oh, a graffiti artist is nearby, working on their craft! Luna began walking towards the sound quietly, not wanting to disturb the artist. Graffiti! The only 'art' around that I've come to appreciate! While Luna was interested in the study of art, a thousand years of it hadn't really changed much. Graffiti, however, was the exception; it was new, clean, fresh; it was amazing, it was bold, it was...Graffiti. It had a certain charm to it, one that a pony could see in its bright colors and the messages it could convey to somepony. As she rounded the corner, she saw a stallion dressed up in a hoodie (with the hood on) and jeans, covering up most of his body (which included his cutie mark), and a backpack off to the side, which was open for the world to see. Upon closer inspection, Luna saw that it was full of spray cans, each of a different color. So many spray cans for a single picture! Her view then switched to what the stallion was making, and she placed a hoof to her mouth, trying not to giggle. Now, graffiti in Canterlot was usually made to express an idea, thought, or emotion. Obviously, this stallion was conveying emotion, as he was spray painting a hilariously inappropriate picture of Celestia and with much emphasis on her rump and for some odd reason, macaroni and cheese. Her giggling could not be held back, as it was far too strong, and the stallion tensed, realizing that he was not alone. He looked over towards the sound, and, simultaneously, he dropped the spray can in his magical grasp and his eyes widened as he saw who was watching him. Luna's eyes, too, widened, and she stopped giggling as she saw the face of the stallion, just barely through his hood. Is that...? "Bluebloo-" I am in so much trouble. "Auntie Lu-" Both had spoken at the same time, and both stopped. This is quite an awkward situation, Luna mused with a slightly amused smile. After a short, awkward moment between the two, Luna spoke up. "So...Erm, nephew..." "Yes, auntie?" Both ponies continued to awkwardly stare at each other, not knowing what this meant for either them; Luna scuffed her hooves on the street before smiling, and levitated a can of spray paint over to herself. Oh, what the hay, I might as well get into the spirit! "Can you teach me how to do this?" Blueblood had a slow, uncertain smile cross his face, and he picked up the spray can he dropped, shaking it for a moment before returning to his 'art'. Whew! "Of course, auntie!" Luna hummed quietly to herself as she worked alongside Blueblood, helping him to 'paint' an even more obscene picture of Celestia doing unspeakable things to a cake. It felt...Oddly refreshing to be doing this, especially next to her nephew, who she didn't really give much thought to. She rattled her spray can for a moment before adding an extra layer of yellow onto the cake, and Blueblood stepped back to admire their latest piece of work. "I daresay that even Celestia wouldn't be able to miss this!" "Quite right, nephew; I certainly can't miss this." Uh oh. Luna promptly dropped the spray can and turned around to see Blueblood cowering like a wimp in front of Celestia, who had a frown on her face. She pointed at the latest piece of 'art' the two did, and sighed. "I was worried about where you went off to, Luna, but I can see that I didn't really have to worry. What is this?" This is bad, this is really bad. "Erm. This is art, Tia!" Celestia raised an eyebrow, and took a good, long look at what Luna considered 'art'. "Art...Of me doing such a...Crude thing to a cake? Do you really think I'd burn a cake?" "Well...To be fair, it is a banana cake." Celestia groaned, and brought the hoof that was formerly pointing at the 'painting' to her face. "Of all the things you two could have been doing...Do you know what happens now, Lulu?" NOT THE MOON NOT THE MOON NOT THE MOON "...No?" "Take a guess, then." Luna slowly began to back away further into the alleyway, wanting to distance herself from Celestia and her surefire retribution on her. "Oh, please don't send me to the moon for another thousand years!" "Oh, please, I would never think of sending you to the moon again, Lulu!" Then...What? "Then what are you going to do, Tia?" Luna blinked when her sister grabbed a spray can, and grinned wolfishly. "I think it's my turn to make some 'art' of you two doing unspeakable things." Blueblood looked over at Luna, and winced as he got back up on his hooves. "This isn't going to end well for the both of us, is it, auntie Lulu?" "I can only hope it won't, Blueblood." Author's Note Blueblood is the number one graffiti artist in Canterlot Luna likes art Celestia also likes art
I'm bad at golf, Lulu!I'm bad at golf, Lulu! There were some pretty interesting things that Celestia had done over the years to keep herself entertained; things such as bungee jumping (sure, she was terrified the entire time, but it was exhilarating), eating (a pleasure that was all too easily completed too soon and would slight her figure if she ate too much), and shark slaying with a spark plug on the shoulders of Daring Do while she was riding a bicycle on a tightrope (she wasn't sure if that actually happened or if that piece of foreign cake had disagreed with her). Yes, many things were attempted to relieve her of her boredom, though none had as spectacular (and horrifying) results as sports. Celestia kept this in mind as she bit her tongue softly, squinting her eyes as she looked over at her target, a flag placed quite aways in a hole, where she was expected to drive this golf ball into. Quite a distance! She never understood the concept of golf, and why it was played; after all, it just felt so boring, watching a pony swing at a tiny ball in an attempt to land it in an equally small hole. Still, it seemed pretty easy enough. Just hit the ball! Well, that, and hope it landed somewhat near the hole. C'mon, Tia, this is easy. "Yeah, just hit the ball with a stick," Celestia muttered to herself quietly, levitating a nine iron from the bag that encased her golfing equipment, "it should be really simple for me to hit the ball with a stick, I've done it plenty of times! Well, technically, I was hitting stress balls with a baseball bat, trying to get them to smash against Blueblood's windows, but it's the same concept!" She took a look nearby, and saw her sister, lounging by the golf cart (which happened to be completely unnecessary and redundant since they could just fly or teleport to the other holes), eating what happened to look like a cherry popsicle. Cherry...Popsicle... Hurry up, already! "Hey, Tia! We're still on the first hole! Why haven't you gone yet?!" Luna called out, continuing to lick at the cold treat. She never did understand why her sister was so reluctant to play sports; she wasn't that bad when she used to play hockey. She only caused thirty injuries, a pile up, caught the referee on fire, destroyed half the stadium and initiated an all out brawl between the two teams; that was normal! Her sister didn't seem to think so, however, and went back to playing ping pong by herself. Celestia sighed as she adjusted her visor slightly to try and block more of her own sun from her eyes, and was only partially successful. She was going to have a long, strict talk with her sun after this. Eyeing the popsicle in her sister's grasp with great longing, she did the only thing one could in this situation, whine. "Luluuuuuu! Can't you go first?! I want to go get a popsicle!" That cold treat looks divine right now. Unfortunately for Celestia, Luna shook her head, and took one long, exaggerated lick of the popsicle, giving her the luxury of having caused her sister to fume inwardly. "So sorry, Tia, but this is the last one! I took the liberty of taking it right before we left. Don't worry, though, I'm sure there'll be more when we come back from the golf course!" Luna did not like the glare that was shot at her, and it suddenly felt like it got a few degrees warmer; that was Celestia, for you. She hastily began to continue licking at her popsicle, not wanting it to melt into a little puddle of sweet, red liquid onto the grass because of (in hindsight) foolishly annoying Celestia. Clearly annoyed now, Celestia very nearly crushed the nine iron in her magical grasp, and growled as she looked at the tiny golf ball. "We'd better finish this now, then..." With something akin to the roar of a manticore, Celestia screamed as she swung at the tiny golf ball, sending it flying with the strength that many ponies would give a limb for. Her shot, however, was extremely inaccurate and wasn't heading towards the designated hole at all, but rather a tree. Now, Celestia praised the work of many ponies, and especially praised the work done on physics; they were, after all, one of the few 'rules' of this world that even she was bound to. It was especially interesting when it came to gravity and other such things. However, today just seemed like one big slap in the face to her, because the golf ball seemed to be defying physics right now. The golf ball just so happened to ricochet off the tree, flew back at Celestia, who ducked, and then just so happened to impact Luna's popsicle, shattering it into many pieces before it hit another tree and then slowly rolled over to the hole it was supposed to go into... ...And rolled into the hole. Celestia stared in disbelief at what she did, then turned to Luna, who had a comical look on her face as she tried to make sense of what just happened, with her tongue still sticking outwards, as if she still had a popsicle to lick at. Her little sister turned to look at her, and made a 'what the heck just happened' gesture. In response, Celestia shrugged, not knowing quite sure what to say. Eventually, she settled on acting oblivious to what happened to her sister. "Err. I managed a hole in one! That's good, right?" Luna finally pieced together what exactly happened in the span of a few seconds by noticing the indents in two trees, and had mentally calculated the trajectory of the golf ball, scowling when she realized that her popsicle had just so happened to be within that trajectory. She looked up at Celestia, and she had such a dark look on her face that Celestia was expecting Nightmare Moon to appear any moment now. "My popsicle. Gone. It was cherry flavored, Tia! CHERRY, FLAVORED. How could you?!" "I'm bad at golf, Lulu! Heck, I'm bad at all sports! I'm sorry!" Author's Note Cherry popsicles ?! Poor Luna
Two is one too many, Tia!Two is one too many, Tia! Something was wrong. That much was obvious when Luna tried to enter her sister's room; apparently, she was too lazy today to leave her bed. Sure, it was a Saturday, which meant no court, but come on, she should have at least left her room! She fumed inwardly as she stomped off away from Celestia's room. This was going to be the day where Celestia and Blueblood teamed up against herself and Shining Armor in a pie eating contest! Unfortunately, that event didn't seem like it was going to happen. Grumbling under her breath, she found that the path that she had taken had led her to the library, situated in the middle of the castle. Seeing that the main event today was canceled, she decided that after she told the two stallions that the contest was canceled (which would no doubt be met with much groaning from the two), it wouldn't hurt to go ahead and catch up on her favorite pastime, reading. After making her rounds, she had sat down at a large table, with a copy of one of the newer Daring Do books. While she didn't particularly read fiction all that much (owing to the many history books she needed to read to catch up on Equestria's history), even she had to admit that this series of books (and by extension, movie adaptions) had a certain charm to them. The character was easy enough to like, the settings were imaginative and very descriptive, and there was always the promise of more coming up ahead, so one could never really stop after reading one of these books. Just as she was about to start reading, however, her ears perked up as she heard a set of hoof-steps slowly growing louder and louder; in time, it showed that is was Celestia who was causing them, and she appeared from behind a bookshelf, smiling at Luna. Luna frowned at her sister, and spoke in a low whisper. "I thought you were too lazy to leave your bed!" Celestia rolled her eyes, and pulled a book off the shelf; Luna's eyes blinked with surprise when she saw that it was one of those 'trashy romance novels' that she saw her sister constantly go off on long-winded monologues about. Celestia sat across from her, and opened the book, murmuring back to Luna just as softly. "My bed didn't agree with me, so I came downstairs to get a book to read; what a coincidence, eh, Lulu?" Luna studied her sister for a moment before shrugging, and returned to her book; despite the fact that her sister was now reading a romance novel, she supposed that there were probably some romance books that Celestia did like. You couldn't hate everything in a single genre, after all! There was a moment of peace between the two, disturbed only by the rustling of pages when she heard another set of hoof-steps coming closer and closer to them, and Luna was surprised when she heard the pony's voice, as it sounded so very much like her sister's. It's as if my sister had cloned herself, Luna thought to herself with a slight grin. She noticed that Celestia was squirming in her seat, and was looking around frantically; Luna opened her mouth to inquire why, when her sister pressed her hoof to her mouth in a 'shh' motion. Luna rolled her eyes, and complied with her sister's request; all the while, the voice continued to get closer. "When I find you, Chrysalis, I'll..." When the pony that sounded like her sister stepped out into full view, Luna was surprised; the pony that had just entered her view really was none other than Celestia. She looked back and forth between both Celestias, and realized that the library was deathly quiet (which wasn't saying much since this was a library); Both Celestias were staring at each other, one in unmasked anger, and the other in terror. Luna nervously shuffled with her hooves, whispering a question softly, as they were still in the library. "Which one of you is the real Tia?" Both answered at the same time in a quiet whisper. "I am!" Luna sighed, and rubbed her eyes, wondering what the heck was going on. "Two is one too many, Tia!" She didn't know what to do in this situation; heck, she doubted anypony would know. Please, Faust, I ask you, help me in my time of need, Luna prayed, eyes closed and hooves pressed against her horn, my head cannot grasp the reasoning behind why I am seeing two Tias! I have to be daydreaming! Or, if I'm not dreaming, give me a big hangover because I must obviously be drunk! ...Even though I haven't drunk anything alcoholic recently. Luna kept her praying motion for a moment before moving her hooves away and opening her eyes. She slapped herself across the face, testing the first theory; pain always woke you up from a daydream. Ow. Luna rubbed her cheek gingerly, frowning. Okay, so I'm not daydreaming. I must obviously be drunk! It wouldn't hurt to ask them if she were drunk, though, so she did. "...Tias? Am I drunk? Both of them again responded at the same time, with the same response. "Doesn't look like it, Lulu." FAUST, WHAT THE HECK DO I DO NOW?! Luna cried out mentally, slamming her head down on the wooden table, through it (creating a nice Luna-head shaped hole in the table, which would then be sold for a few thousand bits to help profit the library), and falling off from her chair due to the forward momentum of her action. It hurt. Immediately, both Celestias rushed over to her, one with her anger melting away into concern as she gently lifted Luna's head up, checking for a bruise, the other looking guiltily at Luna and trying not to look too suspicious. The Celestia checking over "Lulu! Are you okay?! Why did you do that?! There was no reason to smash your head through the table even if I do it all the time!" The other across from her stared, wondering if she actually heard her right before nuzzling Luna gently. "Get up, Lulu." While the other Celestia went on a raging monologue that was (mostly) ignored by her double for daring to do such an intimate thing, Luna realized something; there were two Tias, not just one anymore. That means...Cadence and I can double the pranks because there are two of them...OH, FAUST, THANK YOU SO MUCH! Luna suddenly bolted upright, and grabbed both of her sister's together in a tight hug; both of them swore that they heard a bone crack from the excessively forceful hug. "I HAVE JUST REALIZED THAT THERE ARE TWO OF YOU, TIA! THAT MEANS THAT CADENCE AND I CAN PRANK YOU TWICE AS MUCH NOW! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING! WE CAN NOW HAVE DOUBLE THE FUN!" She promptly let both Celestias go, then began dancing around (horribly) in the library, ignoring the ponies telling her to be quiet (at least the ones that weren't staring at the two Celestias. One of the Celestias looked at the other, and slapped her. "Chrysalis, I'm going to kill you, if Luna doesn't kill me first." Chrysalis responded by blowing a raspberry at a clearly irritated Celestia. Author's Note Hi Chrysalis Chrysalis wanted to feed off some love, so she disguised herself as Celestia, subdued Celestia, then tried to feed off Luna After this incident the pranks around the castle got steadily worse
Too much bubble wrap, Lulu!Too much bubble wrap, Lulu! "Packages for Princess Celestia, from one Fluttershy!" A brown pegasus that worked in the mail district pushed a cart in, dropped off quite a few sizable boxes inside her room, and then left promptly. A curious Celestia looked up from the piece of cake she was eating, and frowned thoughtfully. Hm? That's strange; I haven't asked or done anything recently to warrant anypony, much less one of Twilight's friends to send me a gift. I wonder what it could be? After standing up from her chair, it took a short walk before Celestia was within range of grabbing at one of the boxes. Fairly large; doesn't seem heavy if one pegasus could cart all this in, and it was sent by Fluttershy, Twilight's shyest friend, if I remember correctly. Yeah, I have no clue what could be inside these boxes. She prepared to open the nearest box to her when there was a knocking at her door. Sighing, Celestia waited to see who it was. One knock, two knocks. Punch. She groaned as her door now had a hole the size of a hoof in it, and she called out from her location, certain of the pony's identity now. "Lulu, can you not punch my doors? Please?" "Tia, it would help if you opened the door before I had to punch it!" No. "Remember the license plate on the flying poptart?" Poptarts! I...Oh. "That hurts, Tia, that hurts." Snorting at her sister and rubbing a hoof gently at her snout, none too fondly remembering that incident, Celestia opened the door to allow Luna inside her room. "Is there something that you need, Lulu?" Please don't destroy anything else, I already have to replace these doors. Again. "Not particularly, Tia. We...I just saw that pegasus drop by with a cart, full of boxes for you! I'm simply curious about whatever is inside them, Tia. So...Have you opened one of them up yet?" "No, I haven't, I spent the time thinking about why I'd be given all these boxes first, and then you punched my door." Gently, Celestia poked a box, and it didn't rattle. She didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing. "Hm, it doesn't rattle." She tried poking all the other boxes, and they, too, did not rattle. "What do you think, Lulu?" I'm thinking Arby's. Oh, and opening the boxes. "I think, Tia, that instead of poking at the boxes, you open them up and see what's inside." "...Right." Celestia levitated a nearby letter knife, and was just about to slice the tape that held a box together when a thought crossed her mind. Perhaps Fluttershy has sent me something very, very personal, for my eyes only? I best not open it while Lulu is here. "...Actually, Lulu, maybe you should leave." Open it open it op...What? Leave, after you've received quite a few boxes with unknown contents residing inside? I think not! "Whatever for, Tia? I'm interested in whatever's in the boxes, too! That's not fair!" After placing back the letter opener to its rightful place, Celestia frowned at her sister, and made a 'shoo' motion towards her doors. "That's the problem, Lulu; what if these boxes contained something very important to Fluttershy that she doesn't want others seeing?" "Are you saying, Tia, that you're afraid that I'd see something that would be extremely embarrassing for the pegasus, who, I remind you, freed me from my evil persona of Nightmare Moon, takes care of even the fiercest animals that she chances upon, and can snarf down fries like a champion on Fridays would send you something she would find embarrassing to other ponies, much less send it to none other than you, the other half of the diarchy, who could easily reveal it to all of Equestria, and would send twenty boxes full of secret, personal belongings? Does anypony even have that many personal belongings to give out?" ...I didn't catch anything beyond 'snarf down fries' and 'Friday'. It looks like I'll have to challenge Fluttershy to a fry eating contest sometime in the near future! Challenge aside, what do I say now? I didn't listen to the other half of what she said... "...Maybe?" ...This sister of mine... "...I'm not leaving, Tia, and you can't make me. We're both powerful alicorns, and I have every right and power to see whatever it is that Fluttershy has placed in these boxes and sent to you." Wrong answer, gah. "Is it really this important for you to see what's inside the boxes?" "...No, but I'm more curious then when you first smelled cake for the first time." Sighing, Celestia levitated the letter opener back over, and very slowly began to slice through the tape that shut the box's contents away from the world. As the deed was done, Luna peered over her sister's shoulder, curious as to the contents of said box. Once the tape had been neatly sliced, Celestia opened the box up... ...And was introduced to the sight of bubble wrap. "...Bubble wrap? Is that all?" No wonder that pegasus could carry this in; it's just full of bubble wrap! Luna, likewise, was disappointed in the contents of the box. That's...Pretty disappointing. Maybe the bubble wrap is hiding something, however! "Perhaps there is something buried in all this bubble wrap, Tia?" "Perhaps. Let's see!" Celestia began pulling out the bubble wrap, and after a moment, her sister joined her. On and on, they continued to remove bubble wrap from the box, and both alicorns throwing the bubble wrap around hazardly, not caring where it ended up. This cycle of reaching into the box and removing the bubble wrap continued on, until finally, there box was empty. Celestia groaned, and looked at the other boxes with a sense of fear creeping up towards her. "...Maybe...nineteen of these are decoys...?" Oh, jeez, nineteen more boxes to go through... "I'm game if you are, Tia!" I get the feeling I'm going to regret this. Oh well! "You're on!" And so began the unraveling of boxes. Many, many boxes, full of nothing but bubble wrap, and lots of it. Both alicorns tore into the boxes (carefully), flinging the bubble wrap they found within without any sense of where they were throwing it. This would soon be their undoing, as bubble wrap piled up everywhere, making it harder for them to move around. This didn't register to the alicorn sisters, as they continued to unbox every box, until the last one was in front of them. Immediately, Celetia tore into the box, and threw the bubble wrapping away, only to find...Nothing. Celestia stared at the remains of the last box with a blank look on her face, which was equally mirrored by Luna. I...I can't believe it... "There's...Nothing...Nothing but bubble wrap..." "Tia, what did you do...? What did you do that...Required Fluttershy to send you twenty boxes of bubble wrap?" "I-I don't know...A-Am I becoming a bad princess?" Celestia sighed as she sat down. Unfortunately, she just so happened to sit on a pile of bubble wrap that was just so conveniently underneath her posterior. That day has been recorded to be the loudest bubble wrap pop in history, as well as the only time bubble wrap alone had blown an entire room into smithereens. Author's Note Luna punches doors and enjoys eating at Arby's resturants Fluttershy enjoys the (mostly) safe activity of playing with bubble wrap Celestia is crying now that her room is destroyed
You destroyed my vegetable garden, Tia!You destroyed my vegetable garden, Tia! Resting on top of a cloud a few miles away from Canterlot, Luna was happily observing the countryside, taking note of the little details that she could spot. Oh, there's so many farms around Canterlot! I can see the Wonderbolts stadium aways from here, weather ponies clearing away clouds that are blocking my view, and even Rainbow Dash charging at me like an arrow! Wait, what? Luna had only a few seconds to scream like a little filly and throw herself off towards the right, narrowly avoiding the rainbow torpedo that was headed towards her. Whew! That was close! The lunar princess watched as the pegasus zoomed forward; Luna thought she heard a muffled 'sorry!' as the pegasus continued her rapid forward motion. She seemed faster than a few of the Wonderbolts! As the alicorn continued to watch her, she noticed that the air seemed to be warping around Rainbow Dash, contorting into an arrowhead at the front of the pegasus. Perplexed, Luna's confusion and curiosity suddenly made way for something that she didn't experience all too often; sheer amazement and worry. With an astounding release of rainbow energy, Luna witnessed the one thing she thought she'd never see again; the Sonic Rainboom. She wasn't all that eager to see it again, either, mainly for two reasons; one, it blinded her eyes momentarily, and secondly, it released a shockwave that could prove fatal to any pegasai in the air, as it caused massive amounts of turbulence. Unfortunately for her, she was in the air and was staring directly at the pegasus when she performed the Sonic Rainboom, as well as being relatively close by when it happened, so an immense wall of pressure smashed into her, almost knocking her out on the spot; however, the blood of the alicorns ran through her veins, so she was quite alright. For the most part, anyway. Oh my...The last time I saw a Sonic Rainboom, it destroyed my vegetable garden! Luna exclaimed inwardly as her hooves went up to her eyes, rubbing at them gently. Just as her eyesight came back to her (albeit looking a bit fuzzy), a cyan pegasus flew up to her, with a sheepish grin on her face. That was awesome, Princess Luna totally got a look at my radical moves! Yeah, I'll totally get into the Wonderbolts now! "Hey, Princess! You like my rad moves I put out there?! I was totally in my game zone, flyin' hard and awesome like, then whooooooosh, I did the Sonic Rainboom! Totally rad, right?!" ...While she looks cute, both as a plushie and as a real pony, her attitude is a bit...Crude. I like that! Even if she almost killed me just now. And reminded me of my former vegetable garden. "That was amazing, Rainbow Dash! I haven't seen a Sonic Rainboom in a long, long time!" The words spoken caused Rainbow Dash to suddenly look at her with a sudden intensity, and her energy seemed to triple as she began to spin around Luna in circles. "Oh, right, you're a princess! You're really, really, reaaaaaaally old!" Luna snorted, offended by the pegasus' words, but Rainbow Dash continued, unaware of the offense that she caused. "Do you know who caused the first Sonic Rainboom?! Huh?! Was it an awesome pegasus like me?!" Luna flatly stated, "It was my sister." She stared in amazement as the pegasus hoof-pumped the air, and did a back-flip in midair before squealing like a filly over a school crush. "Omigosh this is SO AWESOME! I did something that Princess Celestia did! Awwwwwwwesome! Can you tell me the story behind it?!" Suddenly, painful memories rose up within Luna, giving her a headache, and she rubbed her head gingerly before sighing. "I suppose telling the tale wouldn't hurt. I ask you, though, to not share details of this to anypony, for my sister still feels bad about that day and I lost something very important that day as well, and both need to be told in this story." After seeing the nod given to her, Luna smiled, and pointed up to a cloud, lazily flying up to it. Naturally, Rainbow Dash took it as a challenge, and she was already there by the time Luna reached the cloud. Laying down comfortably on the cloud, Luna began to relate the tale of the first Sonic Rainboom, thousands of years ago. "...Tia! What are you doing?!" Her question was directed at her sister, who, for the past seven minutes, continued to fly at very high speeds above her vegetable garden, and it was beginning to irritate her. "Can't you fly somewhere else?!" Celestia stopped her movements, and shouted down at Luna with regret glinting in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Lulu, but this is the best place for me to attempt my newest trick! The wind currents here will help me more than any other place!" ... Are you still making up stupid tricks in the air?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE WELL PAST THAT POINT, SISTER!" Luna grumbled as she walked over to her cabbage patch, tilting the straw hat on her head slightly. Great, now she's yelling, and she insulted my tricks! "Stupid tricks?! You call THESE stupid tricks?! No way! I'll have a group of ponies called the Wonderbolts created, just to do tricks, and pay them for it!" With amazing agility and speed, Celestia began to perform twirls, spins, loops, and all sorts of aerial tricks. While Luna was impressed by the sight, she had seen her sister do these things on a regular basis; she wanted something else, something that she hadn't seen before. "You've done all that already for me, Tia! Do something new for a change!" Upon hearing her sister's challenge, Celestia stopped her awesome aerial maneuvers to muse over her sister's words. Hm. New, eh? Well, there is this one trick I've been wanting to perform... Luna continued to check over her cabbages, and she had just checked over the first one when her sister rose up to the challenge. Luna watched as Celestia flew up towards the sky until she was little more than a pink dot (owing to her mane) in the sky. Her curiosity was switched on, as she didn't think any of her sister's tricks would be needed to perform at that high of an altitude, as they would be too high up in the sky for anypony other than pegasai relaxing on clouds (even then, from Celestia's distance, it looked like you needed to rest on a cloud fairly far up) to view. As she watched her sister continue to climb into the sky, Celestia suddenly made a sharp turn, and began her descent. Luna still didn't quite get what her sister was doing. She was just falling! At a high speed perhaps, but any pegasus could do that. She almost gave up watching what her sister was doing when she noticed her sister's horn light up; the moment that horn lit up, the air seemed to contort around her sister, sharpening into an arrowhead with her sister at the tip. Fascinated, Luna watched this new trick of Celestia's, even cheering her on as she did so. Suddenly, Luna felt an extreme surge of magic go into Celestia's horn, and a sudden explosion of light, color, and pressure lifted her off her hooves and made her lose her hat (she cried for days after realizing she couldn't find it); frantically, she flapped her own wings to avoid getting into an uncontrollable tumble. Once she regained control (for the most part), she looked up, and, with awe, saw every palette of color stretched out in the sky, slowly spreading itself out in a circle. Her sister was in the middle of it, continuing to speed forward, looking back at her creation with a wide smile on her face. Then Luna realized that Celestia was heading straight towards her vegetable garden. A quick calculation told her that Celestia, even if she were blessed with the power of ten alicorns, could not pull up in time to avoid hitting her vegetable garden. Whimpering, Luna saluted the vegetable garden that had served her well for years, and closed her eyes, not wanting to see the damage caused to her garden. With an explosion of force, Celestia tore through her garden like a bomb, flipping over and causing massive amounts of damage by the sheer impact of her descent. She rolled, jumped, and took to the air to avoid smashing into a brick wall, and she grabbed onto a now surprised Luna to keep herself from propelling forward; the two stayed like that, with Celestia clutching tightly onto her sister, until Luna gently pushed her sister away. "That was awesome! Come on, admit it Luna!" I have to admit...It was pretty cool. "Yes, that was pretty awe..." Her voice died as she stared past Celestia to look at the devastation caused by one certain alicorn's impact. Vegetables were either squashed from the impact, or fried (how, Luna never did know). Farming equipment was scattered around, there was a massive crater in the middle of her garden, and a cob of corn was impaled on her horn somehow. Looking up, Luna got a tomato to the face, which splattered across her. Great, it was raining vegetables. Her vegetables. Celestia giggled nervously, and put up a shield around them, protecting them from the 'rain' of vegetables. "...Tia..." "Yes, Lulu?" "You destroyed my vegetable garden, Tia! My cabbages! My corn! My tomatoes! My...My everything in this garden! I probably won't be able to even use this land anymore!" "...Sorry." "Sorry?! Oh, you'll be sorry!" "...And then I got into a slap fight with her. That is the story of the first Sonic Rainboom; I believe that Celestia released so much magic that day that it made it easier for pegasai like you to perform the Sonic Rainboom, even though you were the first to actually perform it." A wide eyed Rainbow Dash stared at her before looking up at the area where she performed her most recent Sonic Rainboom, and winced slightly. "I'm glad I don't cause collateral damage like Princess Celestia does." "You're not as fat as her." Rainbow Dash turned back around to stare at Luna again. Whoa, wasn't expecting that from her. "I...Uh, what, Princess?" "Oh, I'm sorry; I just tend to tease Tia. Would you like me to treat you to a meal for performing the Sonic Rainboom?" Furiously nodding her head, the pegasus hoof pumped the air, surprised and more than glad at the sudden meal offering. "Heck yes!" Author's Note Celestia is the founder of the Wonderbolts Story time Rainbow Dash now does Sonic Rainbooms to get free meals
Wear this tutu, Lulu!Wear this tutu, Lulu! I think this'll look perfect on Lulu! Celestia smiled at the thought of her sister wearing a tutu as she watched as Rarity began to sketch the measurements of Luna's body (Celestia had her sister measured one week prior to this for some dresses) and the proposed tutu out. It truly looked cute, and Luna would most likely, probably, hopefully without killing her sister, would love it after being fitted into it! ...Nah, I'm delusional, she'd kill me after this. It'll be SO worth it, though, to see her dressed in this! Celestia rubbed her hooves together maliciously (and rather creepily), causing a sound that made Rarity look at her with a concerned (for herself) gaze. She tried to resume working on the tutu, but the rubbing of Celestia's hooves against each other combined with what she saw easily broke her concentration, and she couldn't focus on the tutu anymore. She gulped, and hoped that the rumors about Princess Celestia weren't true. Please tell me that gaze and the hoof rubbing is for the tutu and not me, PLEASE, FAUST, I BEG YOU. "...Princess Celestia, are you quite alright? You're...Erm, breaking my concentration. On the tutu. With your hoof rubbing." Celestia stopped her creepy hoof rubbing in surprise, and she grinned sheepishly as she backed away from the unicorn, giggling rather nervously. Oh dear, I must have looked like quite the creepy pony, doing that just behind miss Rarity. No wonder ponies spread rather scandalous rumors about me! "I-I'm sorry, Miss Rarity. Do you wish for me to come back at a later time to your boutique when the tutu is ready?" Bless you, Faust. "Why, sure! You can visit Twilight in the library, I'm sure she'd be happy to see you!" No offense, princess, but...You're creeping me out. I'm also sure that Twilight can 'handle' you a lot better than I could! "Now, run along!" Please. Rarity opened the door for the princess, who smiled a little more genuinely this time, without embarrassment being a (major) factor of it. Smooth, Tia, smooth. "Yes, I think I'll go do that, Rarity. You'll receive the other half of your payment upon completing the tutu." With that, Celestia walked outside of Rarity's boutique, wondering what her student was up to. This is glorious. Nothing can compare to the wonderful tutu in Lulu's room, that Lulu has no knowledge of; I will enjoy every...Well, okay, maybe not the part where she bashes my skull in, but every part leading up to dressing her up in this tutu! Celestia had taken the liberty of sneaking the tutu into Luna's room while her sister was not in there, and had spent an enjoyable evening with Luna, who was currently highlighting the most amusing parts of Blueblood's antics tonight. Oh, trust me, Lulu, tonight's just going to get much more interesting. As the two sisters walked towards the younger sister's room, Celestia stayed with Luna, rather than walk off without her. This caused Luna to look at Celestia perplexedly, wondering why she was still with her. "Tia, it'll only be a minute for me to grab a few things from my room; you can go on ahead." Oh no I won't. "I can wait, Lulu; besides, its been quite awhile since I saw the inside of your room!" Her voice then dripped pure, raw malice. "I certainly hope your room is clean; you remember what we did to make sure your room was clean, don't you?" ...I wish she forgot. Luna had an unfortunate flashback; back when she was a little filly (and was called 'little' by her sister whenever she could, much to her dismay), she was notorious for not cleaning up her room. No matter how hard Faust and Celestia had tried to teach her, she just couldn't clean her room. Luna would give wild explanations about why she couldn't clean her room, ranging from things such as the gingerbread man, the grim reaper, and meteors from outer space distracting her by wanting to play dress up against her will with her. Faust, tired of her excuses, had warned her that she would take away Luna's milk and cookie privileges for a month if she saw her bedroom in a complete wreck one more time; immediately, Luna had sharpened up, and cleaned her room in ten seconds flat. Even when Faust left them to their own devices, Celestia made good on Faust's warning (much to Luna's distaste), and to this day, Luna was still scared stiff of the punishment. "Y-Yes, Tia, my room is clean." I hope. She pushed open her door, revealing a clean room, much to her relief. Everything was in place, there were no messes, and there was a mannequin in the middle of the room with a ridiculous tutu on it. "Everything's fine in her-" Her wide eyes snapped on the tutu in the middle of the room. "Wait, where did that tutu come from?" Here we go! "Oh my, Lulu, I thought you told me that you hated playing dress up; it seems that I've been lied to! Wear this tutu, Lulu! I want to see how you look like in it!" I...Uh, buh? I never had a tutu! "T-Tia, I don't think that's mine! I also really do hate playing dress up!" "Nonsense, it looks like it could fit on you, and you were always such a terrible liar! Come on, put it on, Lulu!" Like HECK I will! Wait, what are yo- "No, I won- HEY! STOP THAT, NO- ARRRRGH!" After a very hard-won struggle, Celestia giggled as she took in the sight of a fuming Luna in a tutu. "Ah, you look so cuuuuuuuute in that tutu, Luna!" Oh, Tia, you are so going to get it. "Tia?" This must be the part where she makes a threat. "Yes, Lulu? Is the tutu alright? It looks absolutely splendid!" "Forget about the tutu, you're dead." "I know, but at least I got pictures of this!" Celestia crowed, holding up a camera. Luna's eyes began twitching, and she stepping menacingly towards her sister, who wisely ran away. Author's Note Luna hates playing dress up Celestia won't die, obviously, but she'll be smarting from Luna's rampage The photos are Celestia's piece of blackmail in the event that Luna demanded control over the milk and cookie industries
This is wrong, Tia!This is wrong, Tia! There were many things that Luna feared. Among those fears, one of them was that Luna dreaded Nightmare Moon coming back to haunt her by keeping a cherry popsicle out of her reach. Another that scared her was watching her sister try to fit into a bikini (she swore she went blind by the sight for weeks). Even more than that, however, was eating fried cabbages (that in particular was the result in trying to save the face of a poor cook who couldn't read recipes correctly, and the result was five days of taking mints to try and get the flavor out of her mouth).These were things that shouldn't even exist! However, what scared her the most was testing; she hated and feared tests! They were nothing more than glorified assignments that teachers gave! Luna even almost went as far as to ban this from schools. Her sister, however, quickly squashed any hope of doing so by explaining that it would destroy the education system put in place. What a pity. Now, Luna found herself groaning as her sister read over the spelling test that she was forced to take earlier, inside a secluded portion of the library. While her speech had vastly improved, Celestia had a few aristocrats that had politely (but bluntly) shown her a few drafts and proposals that Luna wrote after her first public court, and from the looks of it, Luna still needed help on her writing (due to it mostly being in such old Equestrian that ponies today wouldn't be able to read it), much to Luna's dismay. Luna inwardly cringed every time her sister made a mark on her paper, for it meant that there was another mistake that she made and would later have to correct, or even worse, possibly redoing the entire paper itself. She was getting much, much better than she was a few months ago, but she was still struggling with writing at times. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, her sister smiled as she capped her pen. "Well, you're doing a lot better than before, Lulu! You still require some help, however." Celestia gave Luna the paper, complete with corrections that she made. "Here you go, Lulu, not much is wrong this time around." Time to see what I've done wrong... Luna quickly scanned over the papers, looking at her mistakes, and immediately she was offended and hurt by what she saw. What is this?! I know I spelt this correctly...And this, too! What is my sister thinking?! She has lost her touch in being a teacher for our little ponies! "Tia! What is this?! Most of these mistakes are of words that I've spelled correctly, explain yourself!" How do I break this to her easily...? "You spelled armor as armour, Lulu, that's no-." Don't state the obvious, Tia! "Yes! That is the correct spelling, hasn't it always been the correct spelling for armour?! And another thing, you circled 'flavour' as being incorrect! That is not so, it is still spell correctly!" Celestia groaned as she rubbed the area around the base of her horn, trying to get rid of the headache that was coming in. And ponies wonder why I only accept personal students and don't teach in classrooms. It's bad enough trying to teach my sister, nevermind preventing Twilight from blowing up half of Ponyville! A class full of ponies that don't understand me as much as my sister or Twilight? No thanks! "Lulu, language has changed a lot when you were...'Gone', and words do not retain the same meanings and spellings like they have before. ...That's...That just can't be possible! Why would this happen?! Surely she jests! "That's a joke if I ever heard one, Tia! Words changing around, old meanings being swept away for newer ones, how much more ridiculous can that get?!" She laughed, and it was only when she realized that her sister wasn't laughing with her that she stared at Celestia with a horrified gaze. Oh no. "What?! I understand words being executed from our vocabulary because of newer, more modern words, but words being altered from their original meaning and spelling?! Why has this happened?!" Heck, even I don't know the answer to that question. "Ponies change, Lulu, and the way they use words has changed as well. I don't know why they felt the need to change what words suddenly mean, Lulu, but that's just how it is." Ponies these days...Changing around words to suit their own needs! Why has this been allowed to happen?! "Can you give me an example of this? This is wrong, Tia!" "Well, one of the words changed is 'cool', which, as you know, once meant that something was not quite cold, but near enough to it. It still means that, but most ponies use 'cool' as a word to express a positive feeling about something. Interestingly enough, there are multiple words for this, as well, such as 'awesome', 'radical', and 'swag'. I'm not actually sure about the last one, though." Luna growled, and banged a hoof through the table (causing the library to sell the table once again for a few thousand bits), clearly agitated by this little bit of news. "You mean to tell me that there are already words that already expresses a positive feeling, yet ponies still seek to create other words simply to say the same thing?!" "...To be fair, Lulu, some words do sound better than others in certain sentences..." UGH! THIS IS A CRIME AGAINST LANGUAGE AND I AM POWERLESS TO GIVE IT JUSTICE! "I give up, Tia! Language today is unbearable and dirty compared to how it was before! Why, I'd almost want to go back to the time where ponies ate each other and spoke in grunts!" Luna stood up, sighed explosively, and walked out, leaving Celestia behind to stare after her. Well, there she goes. Celestia groaned, and looked down at the paper that Luna wrote for her, The tales of the marshmallow flavoured armour, which...Was exactly what the title implied. "I don't even know what I just graded. Oh well, it's tea time." Author's Note Luna dislikes this new Equestrian language Celestia doesn't like teaching large classes of ponies The tales of the marshmallow flavoured armour seems like something I would write involving Shining Armour and Cadence as they travel to a distant land to see if the rumours of edible marshmallow armour is true
I had a weird dream, Tia!I had a weird dream, Tia! If there's something I've learned recently, it's that you never, NEVER go to sleep right after eating five boxes of pocky with hot sauce and garnished with a dollop of chocolate ice cream. The thought was made after Luna realized that she was dreaming; although, to call it a dream was questionable, at best. In reality, it felt like she was taking a roller coaster backwards through a museum full of weird and wacky things she thought she'd never see in her lifetime, and since alicorns were immortal, that was saying something. There were images of green ducks sitting on top of ponies made of cotton candy, plushies that were alive, and even cookies that were used as projectiles and not as scrumptious, edible food! These images caused Luna to be interested one moment, scared the next, and on and on, the cycle continued on this roller coaster, sending mixed messages to her. The next image she saw was of Canterlot; beautiful Canterlot! Its beauty, however, was tarnished by a voice she knew all too well. "Bwahahahaha! Now, Celestia, Luna, you two shall witness the destruction of your beloved capitol!" Is that...Discord? Isn't he supposed to be set in stone still?! An immediately worried Luna looked around for the source of the voice, and her challenge to Discord promptly died in her throat when her eyes took in the sight of Discord floating above Canterlot with a massive ball of energy in his paws, reminding her of the Pony Ball Z episode she watched last night. "Say goodbye to Canterlot, Celestia, Luna! This is what you get for not inviting me to that one party where...Uh, you two did things! It's been thousands of years, so I don't know which party it was, but I know it had something to do with you two and blowing up fireworks the wrong way!" With that said, Discord threw the immense ball of energy down at Canterlot, to Luna's horror. "NO!" Luna teleported to Discord's side, and was about to lay him out with one swift punch to the jaw... ...When suddenly, a voice was murmured, seemingly from nowhere and everywhere at once. "No, no, that won't do, how am I going to write a chapter based on that?" With that, Luna watched in shock as Discord, Canterlot, and the massive ball of energy disappeared entirely, leaving behind a white, empty space full of nothing. ...What just happened? Luna looked around the now barren landscape, and noticed a desk with a computer, with a white pegasus mare. She seemed rather small for her (theoretical) age, which Luna assumed to be about twenty-one; this mare's mane was styled like a certain dentist's mane (how could she not remember? The visit to Colgate's office was still a tender memory, and the mane color and style reminded her of toothpaste), though this mare's colors seemed to be black and orange instead of blue and white. This mare was also surrounded by boxes of strawberry pocky. Said mare was typing at the computer, and she seemed to be grumbling about something as she worked. "...That won't do...Who wants to read a story about Luna bashing a fruitcake over Celestia's head? Or of Celestia setting fire to her cereal? I mean, these stories have to make a little sense..." Curious by the only thing she could see around her, Luna approached the mare, and after a moments hesitation, tapped her on the shoulder. The mare responded by slapping her across the face with a frying pan, flooring Luna immediately as she shouted. "STOUT SHAKO FOR TWO REFINED, PINKIE, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT!" A groaning Luna was holding her face in her hooves, wondering what she had done to deserve such a thing, and why her name was suddenly Pinkie. "Ow..." Picking up on Luna's voice, the mare looked down, and was confused by the sight of the lunar princess at her hooves. "Odd, I wasn't writing about you appearing in my sanctuary." "...What?" Luna groaned as she got back up to her (unsteady) hooves, and looked at the mare, who tossed the frying pan away after realizing that Luna was staring at it. Not the best first impression, but... "Hi! I'm not sure how you got in here, but welcome!" That's...A very strange welcoming, getting greeted after getting a face full of frying pan. "...Where am I?" "You seem to have broken the fourth wall, and you are talking with me, the author! Thankfully you're not Pinkie Pie; she keeps trying to get me to sell my Stout Shako for one refined, but I'm not going for that!" As if on cue, Pinkie Pie appeared by...Ripping open a rift, and then she shot a threatening gaze at the pegasus. "You're overpricing the hat! Give it to me for one refined!" "NO, GET OUT!" The pegasus threw the frying pan at Pinkie, who disappeared just as suddenly in the rift she appeared in. Pinkie's voice sounded out ominously, even though she was now nowhere to be seen. "Beware...I'll be baaaaaaack!" "Yeah, yeah, whatever, Pinks. TWO refined!" Luna wasn't getting anywhere with this pegasus, and the headache she was getting didn't help. "What's a Stout Shako, what's two refined, what's your name, and most importantly, where am I?" "A Stout Shako is a hat, two refined is referring to metal, my name is Viddy, and you're in my imagination!" I'm not understanding this pegasus at all, even though she just explained what I asked. "Your...Imagination? Please forgive me if I don't understand..." The pegasus nodded, and pulled out a pen, then...Began writing on the air? "You see, Luna, you have eaten one of the few combinations of food that allow you to peer into the fourth wall that technically should not exist. I'm assuming it's hot sauce with pocky and a dollop of chocolate ice cream, correct?" A nod from Luna told Viddy as much. "Well, then! Due to your powers over dreams and the food combination, you are now in my imagination, where I write the hilarious stories that you and Celestia get into!" "...So, you write stories about me and my sister, and they end up coming true?" "Yep! I get to watch the results of what I write, as well!" The pegasus smiled, unaware that Luna's smile was predatory. "...So you forced me into that tutu." "Yeah! One of the better stories, if I say so myself!" Sweet, sweet revenge! "YOU ARE SO DEAD!" ...I'm so dead. "...Oh my. PLEASE WAKE UP FROM YOUR DREAM AAAARRRGH NO NOT IN THE FACE OW OW OW STOOOOOP! THAT'S MY FRYING PAN!" "Lulu! WAKE UP!" The sudden addition of a third voice accompanied with the clash of cymbals woke Luna up, though just barely. Buh? "Hrm?" An irritated Celestia lowered the cymbals she held, and frowned at her sister. "I had to lower the moon for you! Why were you sleeping through your court?" She's not going to believe me. "I had a weird dream, Tia! It was about this pegasus named Viddy that talked about Stout Shakos and was writing stories about us and the stuff that happens to us! I was beating her at a food fight involving frying pans and random food items that I didn't know were around me in the first place when you woke me up! She was at the hot sauce again, wasn't she? Because I didn't understand a single thing she said other than 'weird dream'. "Did you hit the hot sauce again last night, Lulu? ...With some other food items? When I've told you not to?" "...Yes." "I rest my case; it was just a dream, Lulu. Now get up! You're doing my paperwork today since I had to do yours yesternight." ! "But Tiiiiiiiia..." "Ah, ah! No complaining! More working! Chop chop!" "Fine..." I must seek out Pinkie Pie, so that I may go back to this pegasus and beat her once again in a food fight! Author's Note This is an exaggeration of the thought process that happens when writing these stories I like pocky Yes I couldn't help but reference a few things in this I'm not going to be writing these kinds of chapters anymore after this, however, because it (really) doesn't fit with the story
Don't eat that, Lulu!Don't eat that, Lulu! The things I do for my sister. Celestia was posing for her sister, who was hard at work painting the scene that was shown to her; Celestia, laying down on Luna's bed (owing to her own room still under repairs after the bubble wrap incident), blanket covering her up slightly to allow a little imagination for the mind to process, with a bowl of fruit and a Twilight plushie draped on top of Celestia innocently. The scene looked very tranquil and peaceful (if a bit questionable), and Luna was attempting to do it justice on her canvas. She had an aptitude for art, and this showed in many of her paintings, many of which were featured as grand masterpieces. As she worked, she was humming a tune that Celestia had nearly forgotten entirely, and she smiled as memories came back to her. "I haven't heard that tune in a long time, Lulu." Luna peeked over the side of the canvas, and smiled at her sister. "I'm glad you enjoy it, Tia!" "Oh, actually, I'm not enjoying the tune itself. I'm enjoying what happened after you sang that tune; I must admit, it's not everyday that you watch your sister suddenly get mauled by a flower cart." That day brings back so many memories! ...Painful ones, to be precise. "...I will treat that as a compliment." Luna continued to paint her sister, though it was with slightly more forced strokes of her brush. "I'm kidding, Lulu, I think your humming is wonderful." I'm sure. "That flower cart still haunts me, Tia. Roses hurt with their thorns! Oh, and, you can move now, I've finished the painting." "Finally!" Celestia immediately jumped off her bed, knocking the bowl of fruit to the floor, leaving the poor Twilight plushie in disarray, and wrinkling the blanket. "As much as I enjoy posing for your paintings, Lulu, even I have my limits. How can ponies pose like this for hours?! I understand that they get paid for their time, but it's absurd!" Luna sighed, and levitated a bunch of grapes that were still in the bowl. "Tia, you shouldn't get fruit dirty! It's food, you know! ...Except those hideous red things. Shame they're all I had to work with, though, or I'd have replaced them." Huh. Fruit? What is she...Oh, that. "I didn't get any fruit dirty, Lulu." Does she think me stupid, or is she mad? "What am I holding within my magical grasp then, Tia? Are they not grapes?" Celestia opened her mouth to state the obvious, then closed it, unsure of what to say. ...There has got to be a way of explaining this to her without this ending badly. Unfortunately, while Celestia was trying to think of a proper way to state her words, Luna took the lack of an answer from her sister as a victory in her favor. "I'll answer the question for you, sister, since you seem to be struggling to answer for whatever reason you may have. They are indeed grapes, and they look delicious!" With that being said, Luna levitated the grapes over to her mouth. Oh Faust no, this is bad. "Don't eat that, Lulu!" Stopping just short of her mouth, Luna looked over at her sister, who had a pleading look in her eyes. It's just fruit, come on! "Hm? Why not?! They're grapes!" "...Yes, they are grapes, bu-" "Then why stop me?!" Before Celestia could respond, Luna went ahead and ate a few of the grapes. ...Well, darn. You tried, Celly! Celestia watched as the look of triumph on her sister's face turned into one of shock and disgust as she spat out the 'grapes' onto the floor. Must...Not...Laugh... Celestia covered her mouth with one hoof, trying to not let her giggles escape her. Luna, meanwhile, was trying very, very hard to not bash her sister in the head with a frying pan, especially after seeing that Tia was (very poorly) trying to conceal her laughter. Did she poison these grapes and had meant to give them to Blueblood?! "BY MOTHER'S DIRTY UNDERWEAR, THAT WAS DISGUSTING!" "I did warn you, Lulu." Luna glared at her sister as she began to roughly rub her hooves onto her tongue, trying to get the taste of wax out from her tongue. Sensing that this was her cue to speak, Celestia cleared her throat, and explained the 'grapes' to Luna. "Well, you see, Lulu, waxed fruits exist because artists did not like having to continuously buy fresh fruit for their paintings, so they've created wax fruits, which allows an artist to continue using the same fruit over and over, since it's not actually a fruit in the first place, but a molded, colored piece of wax. Just...Don't eat them, Lulu. It's not an edible food, and even if it were, it would make it a rather...'Desperate' choice when thinking about food." At this moment in time Luna was swishing some mouthwash (where she got it, Celestia could only guess) in her mouth, and after gurgling it, spat it into a nearby waste bin. "Whew! That's much better! Now...Wax fruit?! Why didn't the art store tell me that they were wax fruit, incapable of being eaten?!" "...Didn't you notice the fact that the 'fruit' there was the only 'food' item available in the store?" Now that she mentions it... "No." Lulu... Rubbing the base of her horn as was custom whenever Luna began to give her a severe headache, Celestia groaned as she picked up the 'fruit' and placed it back into the bowl. "Well, if you don't want to repeat the same mistake again, just look for the unnatural looking sheen on a fruit, or the fact that it looks a little bit too colorful and shiny, and you should be able to tell that it's a wax fruit." Luna nodded slowly, taking in her sister's advice. "I shall not repeat the same mistake again! For now, though, let us go to the kitchens to help me get rid of this taste in my mouth!" Author's Note The day when Luna got mauled by flower carts was when she got her cutie mark Wax fruit is horrible mistake I made once upon a time Celestia's room is still not repaired
OUR little ponies, Tia!OUR little ponies, Tia! This is SO incredibly boring. Holding up a hoof to ward away a yawn, Luna glumly stared at her sister giving a speech about cakes to the kitchen staff. Is this really even necessary? We could be pranking Twilight right now, or actually eating cake instead of listening to you talk about it! She fidgeted in her seat, not comfortable with sitting down for long periods of time. Currently, she was sitting on a rather uncomfortable chair as she listened to her sister rant on for two hours straight about cakes, with charts, graphs, and even mathematical equations about why her sister should be able to eat all the cake she wanted. Oh, and the reasoning behind why pi should be changed to cake. I'm going to die here, listening to my sister drone on and on about cakes. Wait...I'm sure that's the last cake graph that she forced me to make with her. I know by the bloodstains on it as I made it with my last, dying breath! ...Admittedly it was cherry juice but it's the same thing! Does that mean...? YES, SHE'S DONE, BY FAUST, SHE'S DO-...She said it again. Ugh, Tia... Groaning, Luna buried her face in her hooves, distraught over what Celestia had just done, again. Though Luna loved her sister dearly, she still wondered why she used that clearly offensive way of saying 'My little ponies'; after all, she was in the same room with her sister, and they both looked after and cared for the ponies of Equestria! Sure, she herself could say 'My little ponies' as well, but that just wouldn't feel right, especially to the ponies who've only heard her sister say it. Not to mention that it sounded a little creepy. She wanted to bring the personal issue up with her sister, but there wasn't a moment that she deemed fit enough to bring it about. It wasn't anything major, anyway; just a little technicality that bothered her. Her fuming was momentarily stopped as she saw ponies around the room get up from their seats; the presentation was over, it seemed. Luna quickly jumped to her hooves, and walked out of the kitchen, simply thankful that she could finally leave without appearing rude to Celestia or the other ponies. Eventually, she found herself outside on a balcony, overlooking the main assembly area (where they would often make grand, public speeches). She rested her hooves on the balcony railing, grumbling about her sister. Of all things... "I just don't know how you do it, Tia! I know I wouldn't be able to make a speech extend that long! Two hours of nothing but explaining why we should get more cake, and even showing multiple graphs and tables about how this would be accomplished! How does somepony even manage to make a speech about that for five minutes, nevermind two hours?!" The soft clop of hooves alerted her to another presence coming along to join her; the voice was a dead giveaway to who it was. "Oh, please, I was bored enough to try; besides, no harm trying in getting some extra cake, right? Cake is good, very good." Luna turned around, and stared with a deadpan expression at Celestia, who had walked up next to her. "You did this because you were bored. A two hour speech about cake, because you were bored." Her sister winked mischievously at her. "That would be correct, Lulu." "...Okay, that's just unnatural." You make speeches when you're bored? Wow, remind me to never be around you again when that happens. She sighed, causing Celestia to look towards her with a slightly worried look. Hm. I think something's eating at her; she seems in a bit of a short temper tonight. Celestia hesitated before speaking quietly, with a slight frown on her face; talking to Luna while she was moody would either mean she'd spill everything out to her, or punch her on the nose. Hard. She really didn't like the latter option. "You seem troubled, Lulu; is it something that you can tell me?" I might as well tell her now; I doubt I'll get a better time anyway. " Yes, Tia, though it's not much; I'm just a bit annoyed at you, sister." ...What did I do this time to annoy her? Was it the few hundred cake models I made her do for me? "Is it the way how I insist on eating garlic bread before a speech? Or is it because I dump my work on you to go frolic in the gardens?" ...Okay, admittedly, both of those things annoy me as well, but that's not what I'm annoyed about! Luna shot an exasperated glance at her sister. "I feel annoyed every time you say 'My little ponies', are they not my little ponies, as well? OUR little ponies, Tia! ...I know they're not objects to call 'ours' by any means, but it feels so weird listening to you say 'my little ponies'!" Oh my. Celestia looked taken aback by her sisters words; she wasn't expecting that as an answer. Very carefully, she extended a wing out, draping it on her sister's back gently in a comforting gesture. She's right...I have been using 'my', and of course that would make Lulu uncomfortable whenever she hears it. "Oh, that's what has been bothering you...I...Guess I have just been too accustomed to ruling alone and saying 'my'. I'm sorry." I'm glad we can finally get that out of the way now. "Apology accepted, Tia. Our little ponies may need some time to adjust to you saying that, but I'm sure it'll work." Good! I was thinking I'd get punched in the nose. Again. "I'm sure they'll adjust to it just fine, Lulu." The two sisters looked down at the assembly area, enjoying the tranquil silence that stretched between them in a rare moment of sisterly bonding that didn't involve setting half the castle on fire, causing explosions that the two sisters swore they disarmed earlier, damaging the priceless infrastructure of Canterlot by various means, or cause bodily harm in any way, shape or form, to any ponies that just so happened to (unfortunately) get caught in the antics of the two sisters. It certainly was a good evening. Though, Luna thought idly, watching as Blueblood snuck up behind a pair of royal guards with a lit firecracker, I could reaaaaaaaaaaally go for a soft drink right now. Author's Note More of a small slice of life moment between the two rather than anything humorous Wanted to try something different Our little ponies
Blueblood isn't insane, Lulu!Blueblood isn't insane, Lulu! Ah, Blueblood...Never stop being you! This thought came to Celestia as she watched Blueblood stalking Luna, the latter of which had no idea that there was a pony following her. I'll have to bring Blueblood back to life after Luna is finished smiting him to tell him that he has very nice and tidy spellwork. Despite how carefree and charming he could be, Luna sometimes found it hard to connect with her nephew, most likely because he did some of the most insane things that most ponies would never dare to even imagine. One such incident was of Blueblood bungee jumping off the highest tower in the castle. To this day, Celestia never figured out how Blueblood managed to climb up the tower, let alone find the cable and harness, and it took a small rescue crew to rescue him (apparently, the reason he did this was to spy on the female royal guards shower room, as shown by the binoculars he was holding at the time of his rescue, and where he was facing). Another incident that Celestia found hard to believe that Blueblood would ever do was overpowering her guards, going through the trap infested hallway, and even knocking her out with a swift punch (to be fair, her eyes were closed as she was about to take a bite of a rather delectable pound cake), and that was all to get to her sock drawer. Her sock drawer. She still didn't know if she ever got all her socks back. Now, she was watching her nephew sneak up on her unaware sister who was blissfully taking a bite out of a moon pie. Unfortunately for her soon to be startled sister, Blueblood had a megaphone in his grasp. To ensure that her ears wouldn't get blown out, Celestia had donned a pair of earmuffs. Although she wanted to warn her sister, she did admit to herself that she wanted to see what would happen. Besides, I told Lulu to stop eating moon pies; this'll just be her 'just desserts', heh heh! Smiling at the terrible pun she made, she watched as Blueblood finally stepped close to Luna, lifting the megaphone to her ear... Something's not right here. "Erm?" Luna turned around, only to get startled and jump up through the ceiling (after this incident, the phrase 'Jumpy as a cat' was tossed at Luna mercilessly) when Blueblood began screaming the Equestrian national anthem through the megaphone. Celestia, meanwhile, was laughing up a storm, and Blueblood was grinning stupidly, not realizing the heap of trouble he just got himself into. That was about to change, though. With a rather loud thump, Luna impacted the floor (causing a rather comical impact hole in her shape roughly six inches deep), groaning and holding her hooves to her ears, clearly in pain. "Ow...Tiiiiiiiiiiia...What did I do to you...?" "It wasn't me, dear sister, it was Blueblood." Puffing his chest out in a mockery of certain birds, Blueblood proudly proclaimed it to be true. "That's right! It was me, all me!" "You're insane, Blueblood!" As those words were spoken, Celestia made a 'tsk' sound, looking at her sister with disapproval. "Blueblood isn't insane, Lulu!" While I do enjoy my dear nephew's antics, sometimes they cross the line! "Sister, if what you've told me of Blueblood is true, he must have some streak of insanity in him!" Upon hearing those words, Blueblood turned around to face Celestia, who was pointedly looking away. With his curiosity suddenly peaking high levels, he knew that he had to satisfy it before it got out of hoof. "Auntie Tia, what have you told auntie Lulu about me? I'm curious as to what you've told her!" ...Well, what has Blueblood done that isn't insane? Hmm... After a bit of pondering, Celestia decided to tell her sister the most 'tame' of what Blueblood had done, but even so, most of what he did was...Absolutely ridiculous regardless. "Well...There was the time you put ketchup packets underneath those little bumpy things in the royal guards' restroom..." How could I forget?! Blueblood's eyes brightened up, and he laughed as he remembered that incident. "Ah, yes! I remember that incident; about half the royal guard was chasing after me!" Really? While Blueblood was laughing as he remembered that day, full of angry, ketchup stained royal guards, Luna raised a brow at her sister. "That's still insane, Tia." "What?! That was probably one of the more tamer things that Blueblood has done!" "Yet he still created an incident where half the royal guard was chasing him! In fact...Has he done anything where he hasn't been chased by the royal guards?" Of course! "There was the one time he was chased by the elderly and was charged afterwards with thirty restraining orders." What in Faust's name...? "Do I even want to-" "No." "Let me rephrase my question, Tia. Has there been any time where he hasn't been chased by anypony?" "Well...Only if he's caught." "And that happens...?" "...He's always caught." Triumphantly, Luna raised a hoof in the air, while Blueblood tried to think of a time where he didn't get chased by an angry mob of ponies. "Ha ha! He is always chased by mobs and is guilty of doing dastardly, insane things! Admit it, Blueblood is insane, and if you think that false, he is at least a little bit out of his mind!" Celestia tried to counter that, but there was nothing that came to her. Sighing, she nodded, accepting defeat. "Blueblood, you are a little bit insane." After that was said, an explosion rocked the castle, and Celestia threw herself on the floor. "What in th-" Her words cut off as Blueblood cackled with glee, and rubbed his hooves together. "I set off a soap bomb in the royal guards' barracks! Since I'm always chased by a mob, one should be after me right now! I'm surprised they aren't after me already, especially since I made some graffiti on the front door that said 'Blueblood rules, royal guards drool'! Well, bye, aunties!" Blueblood quickly ran out of the room with surprising speed, no doubt gained from constant mobs chasing him. Celestia looked over at Luna, who looked back, and the two shared a moment of silence before wordlessly chasing after Blueblood. Author's Note Blueblood isn't insane, really The royal guard has used the running after Blueblood as extra training Celestia finally admits that Blueblood is a little insane
I'll send you to the sun, Tia!I'll send you to the sun, Tia! No. NOT LIKE THIS. THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING TO ME! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- The screen flickered with the words 'Game Over!', and Luna groaned as she threw the controller at the television. "Why must they make you so overpowered in video games, Tia?! It's like they don't want to disappoint you by making you some weak character in these fighting games!" Over on the other side of Luna's quarters (which, still, was occupied by Celestia since her room was still under construction), Celestia was in the process of writing out a new, more agreeable bill that took the combined aspects of three others into a great compromise that would work out far better than any of these bills individually would have done. Upon her sister complaining, however, she set aside her quill, and made her way to Luna with an amused looked on her face. "To be fair, Lulu, I do overwhelm you in sheer force." "...Okay, point taken, you could blow up my moon merely by smashing your rump against it. That's not the point, though! In every fighting game I've played, it has always been you or some weird 'Nightmare Moon' esque name like 'Daylight Savings' or of the like, and you always have some super cheap move!" "To correct you, Lulu, it would probably take three smashes of my rump! Not only that, but, I never really realized that I was quite so...Powerful in these games that you play." Luna grumbled something unintelligible underneath her breath, and powered down the game console. Afterwards, she rummaged through her personal fridge in the room, bringing out a moon pie. Celestia sat down next to her sister on the incredibly large sofa, and lazily stretched herself out. "Daylight Savings, eh? Is that an actual name for me in those games?" Luna nodded, too occupied on eating her moon pie. A sudden thought caused her to stop chewing, and think about something that made no sense at all. After swallowing the moon pie currently in her mouth, she looked over at Celestia in confusion. "Wait...Why did you lock me up in the moon, again? I mean, that's where I'm most powerful, Tia? That doesn't seem like the most logical choice." Celestia flicked her crown off, letting it sail through the air before landing on the desk she was working on earlier with a loud thunk. "Ten points. The reason why I locked you up in the moon is because I didn't want to lock you up in my sun, Lulu, and because I hoped that being locked up in your beautiful moon would calm you down as you slept for a thousand years inside it. Apparently that was not the case, however." "Hm. So, theoretically, if you became Daylight Savings, and I used the Elements of Harmony on you, you'd get sent to the sun?" "Oh, yes, theoretically, I would! The problem, however, Lulu, would be the fact that I'd probably scorch you first." Luna stuck her tongue out at her sister, and took another bite from her moon pie before responding to that. "I shall not let that happen, Tia! You will not scorch my backside! I'll send you to the sun, Tia! The Elements of Harmony will help me end your reign of terror!" Deciding that now was as good a time as any to fool around with her sister, Celestia grinned widely as she stood up on the sofa, towering over her sister and looking down upon her, as if she were an insignificant bug. "I THINK NOT! DAYLIGHT SAVINGS WILL END YOU, AND MAKE WAY FOR ETERNAL SUN, FOREVER!" On the other side of the door, two guards were panicking, and began calling on their radios for backup. "Bring in the entire royal guard, Daylight Savings is real and is attacking Princess Luna!" "Get the Wonderbolts!" "Grab the Elements of Harmony!" "Make sure you get the bearers as well!" "Stock up on non-lethal weaponry, she's still Princess Celestia on the inside!" "SAVE THE TWINKIES!" With the two guards quickly making assumptions without checking inside Luna's room (owing to the fact that Luna highly discouraged ponies walking into her room without important news), chaos soon spread throughout the castle, and it wasn't long before Twilight and company got wind of this. "Daylight Savings? Really? I would have opted for a more elegant name." "Yeah, yeah, don't fret yerself over that, Rares, we got ourselves a mighty big problem on our hooves." Ignoring the bickering between the farm pony and the fashionista, Twilight levitated her Element of Harmony onto her head, and scuffed at the floor nervously. "Alright girls, we know the plan?" Rainbow Dash pumped a hoof into the air. "We smash the door down and blast Daylight Savings?!" "Ye- No! Rainbow, we don't smash the door down!" "Oh." A dejected looked Rainbow Dash muttered to herself how it would be awesome to barge into Luna's room, though she immediately brightened up after what Twilight said next. "We'll have the royal guard smash down the doors for us, and then we'll blast Daylight Savings with the Elements of Harmony!" Fluttershy was the first to respond, trying to sound enthusiastic about their upcoming doom. "Oh...Okay." Rarity was next to answer, with a hoof running through her mane. "A well thought out endeavor, darling!" Applejack stomped the floor with a hoof, grinning widely at the challenge ahead. "Ah'm game!" Rainbow Dash did a loop in the air, impatiently waiting to barge into the room. "Yeah, let's kick Daylight Saving's rump!" Pinkie Pie jumped up in the air three times further than anypony should have, and landed on her head. "We can have a party afterwards!" "Alright girls! Guards, break the door down!" "Ah ha ha! S-Stop it, Tia!" "No, I have waited forever for this moment, and now, you shall suffer!" Celestia cackled maniacally as she tickle tortured Luna. The two, throughout all this time, continued to role-play the idea of Celestia becoming a tyrant. Suddenly, a loud crash was heard, and the two sister stopped their antics to look up at the source of the noise, only to see a few royal guards pull out a battering ram. What happened next confused the two alicorns even more, as Twilight and her friends (complete with the Elements of Harmony) strode through, aggressively looking at Celestia. "What is the meaning of this, our little ponies?" Twilight spoke up, and Celestia raised a brow as her student tried to look intimidating. "We're not your little ponies, Daylight Savings! Prepare to be zapped by the Elements of Harmony!" Fluttershy meekly peeked out from behind Applejack, and smiled apologetically at Celestia. "W-We're really sorry about t-this if it hurts, princess." "Flutters, would ya stop tryna hide behind my rump? N' we're gonna set ya straight, Daylight Savin's!" Rarity sighed as she looked at Celestia, clearly not impressed by her. "You know, I'd have thought you'd look different! After all, Nightmare Moon and Princess Luna look vastly different." Rainbow Dash said nothing, but gave Celestia a glare that actually caused her to shudder inwardly. Pinkie Pie, to her credit, was actually doubtful of the whole thing. "Are you sure Celestia is Daylight Savings? She still feels like the same Celestia we all know!" Celestia sigh of relief was short lived, as Twilight pointed at her mentor's head. "She doesn't have the crown on her head, that's all the proof we need!" Luna groaned as she slapped a hoof to her head. This can't end well for either of us. "Tia! Duck!" Her sister immediately complied with her two words, and just in time, as the Elements fired off a massive blast of rainbow energy that was aimed where Celestia formally was. For all that power behind those trinkets, they sure do have a lousy aim. Celestia mused as the rainbow blast of energy sailed above her. The sustained blast of energy died out, leaving behind a few slightly smoking trinkets (and in one case, a tiara) on the bearers. Twilight sighed, and turned around to look at Luna. "Please, Princess Luna, don't help her, she's Daylight Savings!" M-MY ROOM! YOU MADE A GIANT HOLE IN MY ROOM! MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU MELTED MY PERSONAL FRIDGE AND GAME CONSOLE! "...Twilight Sparkle! Applejack! Rainbow Dash! Pinkie Pie! Rarity! Fluttershy!" Each of the bearers were now looking at a visibly shaking Luna, and even Celestia began backing up away from her. She quickly withdrew a pair of earmuffs, and sighed as she placed them on, just in time. "YOU'VE MADE A GIANT HOLE IN MY ROOM, MELTED MY PERSONAL FRIDGE FULL OF MOONPIES FOR ME TO EASILY ACCESS, AND MELTED THE GAME CONSOLE THAT TIA GAVE TO ME, NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT THIS PLACE IS ON RAINBOW FIRE NOW! TIA IS NOT DAYLIGHT SAVINGS, WE WERE PLAYING AROUND!" "...Ah think we made a mistake, Twi." "...I think so, too, AJ." Author's Note Despite their hard work, making a room to Celestia's expectations is a daunting task that must be perfect the first time around I'm not naming any specific consoles that Luna plays Have you ever talked about something theoretically with someone, and then role-played it out for giggles
My beautiful room is back, Lulu!My beautiful room is back, Lulu! Now, being immortal, there were few things that would stand the test of time. Those that could stand it were treasured by Celestia greatly, and the things that didn't stand that test were even more treasured. One such treasure that she enjoyed immensely was her room; it was her private haven, where she could go and 'lose' herself, so to speak, to the pleasure of sinking into her soft, warm bed, call upon ponies who were experienced in the art of combating sore muscles, and simply have a chance to relax from the serious and stiff atmosphere that was Canterlot. Her room was one such treasure. Unfortunately, with the bubble-wrap incident, her room was destroyed, and it was currently undergoing construction. Now, she was residing in Luna's quarters (which still had the hole made from the Elements of Harmony). While they were no less comfortable than her own, it just wasn't her room. This was a room that accommodated the Princess of the night, and made little effort to make the area comfortable for the solar princess. Luna had welcomed her in warmly enough, and they even had some fun, brushing the other's mane while talking about various things going around in Canterlot, but it still felt very different from her own room. That was why upon the return of the lead construction worker telling her that her room was nearly finished sent her ecstatic. Finally, her own room was back again! Happy days were here again! ...No offense to Luna, of course. Celestia was giddy with excitement as she literally bounced around Luna's room (who later upon seeing the mess in her room complained that all her stuff was in disarray from a certain alicorn's rump smashing into everything). Now, Celestia was walking with a (for now) blissfully unaware Luna to her new room. "Oh, this is so exciting, Lulu! My room, returned to its former glory again!" "Does this mean that I don't have to show you where I hide the marshmallows in my room?" "Actually it means that I'm having the royal guard search your room for the marshmallows later while I happily bounce around in my room. How dare you make smores while I was sleeping!" A huff from Luna clearly showed how irritated she was. "I thought the smell of such a thing would wake you up, dear sister! Apparently not, if it couldn't move that fat rump of yours." Ignoring her sister's jab at her, Celestia continued to walk towards her room, eager to see it for what it was. "Isn't it exciting, Lulu?! Finally, I get to have my room again! Your room, while comfortable, just wasn't made for me!" You certainly showed that, too, when you complained the first few nights of it being 'too dark'. It's my moon, for Faust's sake, of course it'd be dark! "Well, regardless of the 'difficulties' we've had in you staying in my room, Tia, I'm glad you have your room back." The two rounded a corner, and Celestia's smiled only grew wider as she saw the golden doors that signified her room. Eagerly, she bounded up towards the set of doors, and pushed them open. The sight that greeted her very nearly knocked her off her hooves, had not Luna rest a wing upon her back, giving her an awed look. "Tia...What exactly did your workers do to your room...?" "I don't know, Lulu...But I sure hope I'm not dreaming..." A quick slap from her sister told her that she wasn't dreaming. "Ow. Okay, so I'm not dreaming!" Up in front of the two alicorns was Celestia's entire bedroom, complete with everything she formerly had; Twilight plushies, bookshelves filled with (sadly, as Celestia found out) romance novels, her study (which Celestia would also find out sadly that it was already packed with paperwork), and even her old secret (although she wondered if it was a secret anymore, since the carpenters remade it) wine cellar underneath her room. The only thing that was different was the fact that everything happened to be a little...Shinier? Celestia couldn't quite place the reason behind that thought. Who cared, though?! Her room was back! "WEEE!" Without warning, Celestia bounded forward and jumped upon her massive bed, bouncing twice in the air before coming to a complete stop, laying down on her bed with her mane all tussled and messy. "I missed my bed, my beautiful, soft bed!" Just as quickly as she bounded onto her bed, she ran over to her Twilight plushies, and squeezed them hard, with happy tears in her eyes. "Twilights! I miss sleeping in bed with you!" And so on, Celestia went, walking, jumping, falling, teleporting, skateboarding, and even reversing the gravity of her room to talk with and express how much she missed her room. Every single part of it. Luna, by now, was looking on the scene in front of her with amusement and with slight worry. ...I hope I never have my room blown up from sitting on bubble-wrap, because looking at Tia right now, I can say that it would most likely hurt very much. Especially if I were to do a double backflip on a skateboard with reversed gravity and landing on my face to say that I missed that dustball in the corner. With the reversed gravity in effect, she was now sitting on the ceiling, watching as Celestia's horn lit up. Odd; what kind of spell is she casting no- OW. Rubbing her nose gingerly, Luna complained as she stood back up on her hooves. "Dear sister, could you please KINDLY tell me that you're about to undo a gravity spell? ESPECIALLY when I'm sitting on the ceiling?" Oh. Silly me. "Sorry, Lulu! I guess I'm just so excited to be back in my room again." Too excited, if you ask me. "Well, sister, I shall retire to my own room now." As Luna turned around to leave her sister's room, she was stopped by Celestia. "Wait." Hmm? Luna turned back around, and noticed that Celestia was fidgeting slightly. "Is something wrong, Tia?" "Well...I, uh...Do you think that...We could sleep together in my bed? Even though everything looks the same here, Lulu, I think it would help me adjust a lot better if you slept with me. That, and the hole in your room has a terrible draft blowing in, so you might as well reside in my room until that gets fixed." True enough, and why not? Besides, you're warm, don't snore in your sleep nor kick out unless you have a nightmare, and you're my sister. I should return the favor, too, since you slept with me when I couldn't get sleep myself. "Of course, Tia, of course I'll sleep with you tonight." Author's Note Celestia has her room back It's hard to sleep in your sister's room, especially if it's completely opposite of yours Gravity spells hurt
S-Stop it, Tia!S-Stop it, Tia! Mine sister has gone crazy, cuckoo, insane, off her block, rocking her socks, blowing her top and eating rocks! ...I did not mean to rhyme that, but it's all true! Tia has become just as insane as Blueblood! Currently, Luna was locked up in the dungeons (although, now that she finally saw what the 'dungeons' were, she really couldn't agree with what her sister thought were 'proper' dungeons. After all, the accommodations were far too good for somepony that got sent to the dungeon, the cells were practically smaller versions of their bedrooms!), resting on a massive bed. Although, resting probably wasn't the best word for her current predicament, which was being strapped to the bed with chains and a magic blocker on her horn. Really, the things her sister did to her! She thought back about what she did to put herself in this rather uncomfortable position. She couldn't scratch that itch just below her horn, and it was driving her insane! "TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIA!" "What is it, Lulu?" "Catch!" "Wha-" As Celestia turned around to look over at the direction that Luna's voice was at, she felt a very soft, squishy something impact her face, followed one second later with a sudden clang, causing pain to her nose. Poking her tongue out slightly, Celestia realized that she had just been attacked with a blueberry pie. At least it wasn't a banana cream pie. "Mmmph." "Yes, delicious, isn't it, Tia?" ...I suppose, but I'd rather eat it, not have it impact my face, thank you very much! Celestia attempted to tug the tin plate off when she realized that somehow, the tin plate impaled itself on her horn. With much grumbling, Celestia pulled it off, and was just about to wipe her face when she was suddenly attacked by something wet. ?! "S-Stop it, whatever that is!" "Oh, Tia, blueberry pies taste so much better when you lick it off somepony! You added a note of vanilla to it!" First, I get disturbed from my work, then I get a pie to the face. As if that wasn't enough, Lulu is now cleaning my face with her tongue, and apparently I now taste like vanilla. I...Don't even know what just happened, but one thing is for sure; she's getting punished. To the dungeons she goes! "Lulu?" "Yes, Tia?" "There's some rock candy downstairs for you in the dungeons!" Sweet! "Yay, I love rock candy!" With that said, Luna bounded over to the dungeons, with Celestia following her. A malicious smile appeared on Celestia's face as she strode downstairs, and a little chuckle escaped her lips as she thought about the things she'd be doing to her poor, poor sister. That's not even the worst part! "Worst part of all of this is that there is no rock candy anywhere!" I am not a liar! "Actually, there is, Lulu, though I'm giving the bag of rock candy to you after I'm done with you." Luna looked at the visitor she suddenly had to her cell, and wasn't surprised to see that it was her sister. "Tia! Why must you strap me down on this bed and put a magic blocker on my horn?! I demand you release me at once! As well as giving me that bag of rock candy!" Not until I have my revenge! "Peace, Lulu, peace! I simply wanted my revenge for getting hit in the face with a pie, getting licked by you, losing time from working on that boring paper, and overall suffering a loss of dignity. You can have the rock candy later." "Hmph! So be it, then! Do your worst, Tia, you cannot break me! I have endured one thousand years on the moon, wrestled for control with Nightmare Moon, won a game of tic tac toe against Discord, blew raspberries at Tirek, and have had more pies thrown at me then I care to count! I am as untouchable as stone, without being a stone! I have learned from the best, and his name was Tom! Come on, you'll just be another notch on my horn, and I'll make Tom proud of me!" ...I doubt you've even done half those things, sister, but I'll humor you. "Very well then." Celestia loomed over her sister, her normally kind gaze turned harsh and with a grin that spoke of future pain ahead for her. "Do you know how long I've awaited this day?" Keep the gaze steady, don't ruin the unpleasant surprise... No. "No, and I don't particularly care, either!" "Shame. You should, I've been waiting a thousand years to do this to you. After all, we used to do this all the time as little fillies..." Celestia trailed a hoof down her sister's stomach lightly, causing Luna to shiver slightly at the touch. What? You did nothing to me as a little filly that I cannot endure now! Ha! Is this some kind of joke?! "I know not what you speak of, Tia, just get on with it so I can proclaim that I have withstood your torture!" I'm going to enjoy this very much. "Oh, it's torture, alright. It's tickle torture!" With a sudden, gleeful laugh, Celestia began to tickle at Luna's ticklish belly (one of the few weak spots that the lunar alicorn refused to admit), causing Luna to shriek with forced laughter. Oh, Faust, no wonder I didn't remember this; I forced myself to try and forget all those times she tickled me! "A-Ahahaha! T-Tia, s-stop iiiii-ahahahaha! S-Stop it, Tia! P-Pleas-hahahaha!" "Nooooope! You brought this on yourself, Lulu, and the best part is, I get to do this for the next thirty minutes before I leave for my next meeting with Blueblood to discuss the possibility of new pranks involving gravity spells!" The dungeons that day had an unearthly shriek never before heard in the history of ever cry out, which, thankfully, was mostly blocked out by ample soundproofing laced in the dungeons. To those that were able to hear it, however, they swore that it was the sign that Nightmare Moon had come back to steal ponies' socks again. Author's Note Celestia does not take kindly to pies being thrown at her Luna likes rock candy Luna dislikes having her belly tickled because she's ticklish Luna never actually did get her rock candy afterwards, much to her dismay
This is Chrysalis, Lulu!This is Chrysalis, Lulu! I never thought I'd see the day where I'd actually be able to welcome Chrysalis into the castle without first smacking her in the face with a golf club, then blasting her off into space, screaming 'YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH' at the top of my voice while Luna gives me a trophy for the 'Most overpowered and unnecessary magic blast ever recorded in Equestrian history' while juggling flaming chainsaws and eating a moon pie. My dreams are funny like that. The random thought came to Celestia as she walked alongside Chrysalis, who she had just made a peace treaty with. It turns out that the changelings were bored living in the badlands, and Chrysalis had decided to stage a fake coup on Canterlot, then cut out the act at the very end and laugh about it all like a really bad joke between each other. At least, that was the plan, before they were rather suddenly taken along for a skydiving lesson without parachutes (which, Chrysalis admitted wasn't that bad, if you didn't count the hard landing afterwards). After explaining the reasoning behind the fake coup, a peace treaty was immediately made between the two, and the two princesses (Chrysalis needing to give up the title of 'queen' and taking up 'princess' being one of the conditions of the treaty) were off towards the kitchen for a celebration treat. "So, Celestia, we're all good, right? No hard feelings, no sudden backstabbing, nothing like that?" "Of course not! I mean, I still harbor a bit of resentment for creating the greatest joke ever on us, but that's all in the past." "Ah." The two continued walking along down one of the castle's many hallways to the kitchens, both giving brief nods or smiles at ponies (and, now, changelings) that happened to pass by. "There are some...Things you need to know, however, if you're going to be part of Canterlot. They're not important rules, per say, but more like...Warnings, for both me and Lulu. Since you're going to be working with us personally quite a bit, you should get to know these rules unless you want to actually incur our wrath." Yeah, I certainly want to incur your wrath over something stupid. "What are these rules, Celestia?" "Well, for starters, you leave my cake alone. That's a big no-no. I mean it, too. I. REALLY. Mean it. Especially if you value your life." While Celestia was saying this, she put her face up in front of Chrysalis', and slowly walked up towards her until Chrysalis was backed up against a wall. Okay, don't even touch Celestia's cake. Seriously, don't. I value my life, I value my life, I value my life! "O-Okay, point taken!" "Good!" With a smile on her face, Celestia resumed walking down the hallway leading towards the kitchens, followed by a slightly shivering Chrysalis. "Next, you leave Luna's moon pies alone. She's very angry if somepony takes them. A lot meaner than me, in fact!" ...Not five minutes into the treaty and I already feel like my safety is getting threatened! Love and tolerance, my rump! "I-I see. So, just don't touch, eat, or otherwise do anything to your cakes and Luna's moon pies?" Good, she understands easily! "Exactly! You're learning quickly, Chrys." Huh. "Chrys?" "Oh, that's another thing, I call Luna 'Lulu', she calls me 'Tia', so I guess you'll be called 'Chrys'. Ponies still call us by our full names, but we like to refer to each other by nickname; it just feels more friendly that way." Well, it does have a nice ring to it. Chrys it is, then! "Alright then, Tia, nicknames it is, then." Celestia paused before turning the corner. "The final rule is that you watch your step, because lots of crazy things happen around here." "Like wh-" Chrysalis never got to finish her sentence, as she heard somepony yell out in the kitchens just up ahead. "LOOK OUT, GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Celestia and Chrysalis both looked towards the general direction of the voice to see a massive cheese-wheel barrel out the door of the kitchens. Chrysalis had the idea to throw her shrieking form out of the way; unfortunately for Celestia, she had a far slower reaction time, and Chrysalis winced as the wheel ran over Celestia and continued to roll onward. Ouuuuuuuuuuuch. That must have hurt really badly. "Tia? You alright?" She approached the alicorn, who was groaning after the hit and run by the cheese-wheel (which was still rolling and wouldn't stop until it somehow rolled off a conveniently placed ramp and shattered itself against Discord's statue). "Tia?" "Promise me...One thing..." "I promise, whatever it is, Tia." "Please...For the love of Faust...Don't make a cheese pun..." Nope. Promise broken. "Don't worry, Tia, I'll let it brie." "Uuuuuugh!" Celestia groaned as she slapped her hooves over her ears. Chrysalis giggled to herself, and was about to make another cheese pun when another voice sounded out. "TIA! I'M SO SORRY THAT HAPPENED! ...Kinda, anyway, I mean, it's not everyday I accidently roll a cheese-wheel on you. Also, you kinda deserved it after blowing up my room." This must be Luna. After clearing her throat to get Luna's attention, Chrysalis smiled at her. "Hi, my name is Chrysalis! You can call me Chrys, though." Hm?! Another alicorn?! Well...She doesn't really look like a pony, but she's still in the general shape of an alicorn! "Who is this, Tia?" A groan came from the fallen alicorn before she responded. "This is Chrysalis, Lulu! Ugh...Help me, I've fallen and can't get up!" Ignoring her sister for the moment, Luna smiled at the other alicorn, and offered a hoof. "Hi! My name's Luna, but you can call me Lulu!" "Please to meet you!" "Likewise!" The two shook hooves, and watched as Celestia shakily got back on her own hooves, shooting the both of them a glare for not helping her. "Thanks for...The help. Now, tell me...Why....Why did a gigantic cheese-wheel run over me...?" Chrysalis was the first to answer. "You were too slow to throw yourself out of the way?" Luna offered her explanation next. "It was an accident?" "I think it was a mix of both." Celestia reasoned as she looked at the two. "I see you two have already acquainted with each other?" Luna nodded. "Yeah!" Chrysalis flashed Celestia a smile. "Yes, Tia!" "...Let's just get something from the kitchens, then." The three alicorns walked into the kitchens, putting the cooks into peril as they strived to feed three very hungry alicorns, when they already had their hooves full with one. Author's Note Chrysalis again She balances the royal checkbook (Faust bless her for the daunting task she has ahead of her) Luna says hi As of now, Chrysalis will now be a permanent addition to Canterlot and will now be featured in more upcoming stories!
I never knew, Tia!I never knew, Tia! Luna hummed to herself quietly as she watched a few royal guards spar in the training grounds. It had been a few days since Chrysalis and her changelings assimilated into Equestria, and while there was some hard feelings shared between a few ponies, they were accepted almost immediately everywhere else. After all, they looked like ponies, so there wasn't really much to fret about. Sure, their diets were a bit strange and different, but it wasn't actually all that hard once ponies figured out that they simply needed to be near friends in order for them to get enough 'food'. A strange race, changelings. I wonder why we haven't heard of these ponies before. A sudden feint combined with a smashing blow to the head of one of the royal guards caused the lunar stallion the solar mare was sparring to drop to the floor in pain, and she winced as the incident took place. Owwwwwww. That has GOT to hurt. Well, looks like sparring practice is over, from the guilty looks everypony is throwing each other, and the stretcher coming in. I guess I'll find Chrys or Tia now. I remember my sister saying something about wanting to go talk to her, anyway. Luna left the practice field behind her, walking up towards Chrysalis' room. In all honesty, it was a hastily refurbished glorified closet, but Chrysalis didn't mind the room at all. Mostly. Hoping to catch Chrysalis (and, possibly, by extension, Celestia), she asked the two changeling guards outside her chambers if either were inside. "Is Chrysalis or my sister inside?" The guard on the left nodded. "They are both residing in Chrysalis' chambers currently." "May I come in, then?" "Of course!" The guard opened up the doors, and Luna walked in swiftly, wanting to talk to both of them. The guard on the right flashed a confused look at her partner, who had an equally confused look on his face. "Wasn't there only one alicorn when we invaded Canterlot?" "Yeah, from what I saw." "Wonder where this one came from then." "Who cares? We're glorified eye candy for the alicorns, just stand still and pretend to be alert." Luna walked in on the two alicorns as they were in the middle of discussing something; she seemed to have a habit of doing so, and it wasn't intentional. Most of the time. "Hi, Tia, Chrys!" Chrysalis was surprised to see Luna walk in, as well as knowing where they were, but she quickly dismissed the thought. After all, she mused, Tia could have told Lulu that she was going to talk to me, and perhaps Lulu simply wanted to see what we were talking about. "Hello, Lulu!" After nursing her tea cup for a few seconds longer than was probably necessary, Celestia frowned slightly as Luna intruded on them. Just at the time where Chrys and I were about to talk about the invasion...The invasion that Lulu somehow missed. Seriously, kamikaze changelings, explosions everywhere, and that beam of power that overwhelmed me? That didn't alert you to anything? "What brings you here, Lulu?" Bringing up a chair to sit by the three alicorns, Luna helped herself to some tea before replying to her sister's question. "Well, after seeing one of your solar guards send one of my lunar guards to the infirmary after a pretty good hit, I remembered that you wanted to talk with Chrys about something, so I decided to come around and listen in, if you don't mind." Well, solar guard, one, lunar guard, zero. "Oh, that." Chrysalis waved a hoof nonchalantly, and levitated a crumpet over to her. "We were just going to be talking about why I failed the invasion of Canterlot." ...And here I was, about to break it to Lulu gently. Celestia watched as Luna's look of shock turned into one of laughter as she suddenly began to giggle. "O-Oh my, an invasion? That's even worse than Tia's jokes!" Luna continued to giggle, at least, until she saw the perplexed look Chrysalis shot at her sister. When it became apparent that neither of them were going to join her laughter, Luna instantly got serious. "Chrysalis, when was this?!" It took a moment for Chrysalis to recall the incident, mostly because she had put it behind her. "A few months ago, during the royal wedding. I...Never saw you present at the invasion at all, actually. I assumed that Celestia was the only alicorn there. Where were you, exactly?" Luna frowned as she tried to remember what she was doing at the time. "Hmm..." "Come on, I can dance all day, I can dance all day! Just try and hit me, try and hit me, c'mon!" Luna crowed as she threw a cupcake into a building, causing an explosion of frosting to appear and showing that she got three ponies from it. "Right, right, take the building, it's clear!" Yet another explosion rang out from outside, though Luna simply assumed that it was inside the game she was playing, Call of Cutie. It was a present from her sister, and she was enjoying every moment of it. Sure, it was a pretty standard first pony shooter, as well as being filled with whining colts, but it was more than enough to keep her attention. "Alright, I'm going in! Cover me!" "...I...May have been...'Occupied' at the time? With that...Game you bought me?" Luna grinned sheepishly at her sister, who immediately regretted buying the game for her sister. Celestia sighed, and reached for a crumpet. "Well, that's one way to miss an invasion." Her sister shot her a hurt look as she took a sip from her tea. "I never knew, Tia!" I'm going to have one heck of a new lifestyle with these two. Chrysalis mused, as she watched the two sisters bicker with each other. Author's Note The lunar stallion that got sent to the infirmary eventually hooked up with that solar guard that sent him there, so it wasn't that bad Chrysalis lives in a glorified closet now Luna plays games with the volume on max for 'realism'
Move over, Lulu!That isn't right, Lulu! Hm. My changelings are adjusting well to living in Canterlot, and it is nice to not have to worry about invading a town for love. Of course, the downside to all of that is that many of the ponies here still remember the invasion and we're getting love-blocked because of that. Oh well, can't have one good thing without a bad thing accompanying it. Chrysalis was thinking about her current position, which was living in Celestia's closet. It was to be cleaned out and given a refurbishing to better suit her in a few days time, but the fact remained that she was living in a closet. A soon to be glorified closet, that is. I've slept in worse places, I can't complain, really. For now, there was a bed squeezed in with all the junk that Celestia had in one of her many closets, and this particular closet seemed to be filled with marshmallows. Marshmallows, of all things. A muffled thump was heard, and she looked over towards the source of the thumping, which happened to be at the entrance to her closet. "Who's there?" The voice of one of her changeling guards answered her. "It's Princess Celestia and Luna, my que...Princess! Shall we turn them away, or do you want them in?" The change from 'queen' to 'princess' is a bit jarring, but I'll learn to be proud of that title soon enough. "Yes, please, let them inside my closet." The door opened up to reveal Luna and Celestia, the latter of whom raised a brow at Chrysalis. "This isn't going to be a closet any longer, Chrys." It's still a closet, for now, though. "In the meantime, Tia, it is a closet and I shall treat it as such." Chrysalis said with a huff. Ignoring Chrysalis' comment, Celestia quickly found a problem with entering Chrysalis' room, and that was the fact that there was hardly any room to maneuver. With three large alicorns (though all three would take offense to being called 'large) in an already packed closet that had yet to be removed of its marshmallows, space was soon a resource fought over, as Chrysalis saw with Celestia and Luna beginning to fight over the only other chair in the room. "Move over, Lulu! That chair is mine!" "I think not, Tia! Your royal rump can sit itself on the floor!" A quick thinking Chrysalis made her way to retreat back to her bed, claiming some space for herself and giving the two sisters room to fight. You'd think that they'd be mature, given their age, but no, they're no better than foals fighting over a cookie! When a crowbar whizzed past her head at an alarming speed, embedding itself into a bag of marshmallows, Chrysalis couldn't help but stare at the instrument that could have easily been imbedded in her head instead. Correction; no better than violent foals fighting over a cookie. "...Can you two stop fightin-" "NO!" Both of the alicorns screamed, and Chrysalis ducked as a shovel and a pickax was thrown just above her head. For the love of Faust, I'm going to die. A marshmallow bounced off of her horn, and she took a moment to stare at it before looking behind her to see that the large bag of marshmallows just above her bed was ripped open. ...They're throwing very sharp things, and those bags aren't the most durable...This is not good. "Tia! Lulu! Stop!" "Not...Until...Lulu gives me that chair!" "Back...Off, Tia!" As the two siblings argued and threw sharp objects, those sharp objects ripped through the bags holding the marshmallows. As Chrysalis watched with growing horror as her room began to be filled with marshmallows, Celestia suddenly grabbed Luna, held her above her head, and threw her at Chrysalis. "MINE, THIS CHAIR IS MINE, LULU!" Luna was the tipping point, as her horn ripped through quite a few bags of marshmallows due to the way Celestia threw her, and Chrysalis immediately knew that all was not well, as the cascade of marshmallows rained down upon them. "AVALANCHE!" Celestia and Luna stopped their bickering to look at Chrysalis in confusion, which quickly turned into horror as marshmallows began to rain down upon them. Unfortunately, this caused the two to resume bickering again, even as the marshmallows began to limit movement and encase them, as Luna struggled to untangle herself from Chrysalis to get at her sister. "This is all YOUR fault, Tia!" "My fault? You're the one who threw the suspiciously and conveniently placed dinner knife at me!" "Well, you're the one who threw the toy pickaxe at Chrys!" "You threw the sand shovel and started it with the plastic crowbar!" Kill me now. Chrysalis buried her hooves into her face, before the marshmallows buried them all. About thirty minutes later, the female changeling guard looked over at her partner with visible discomfort. "Hey, um...Thirty, should we be worried?" Her fellow guard on this post, a male changeling, looked at her in confusion. "What? Why, Number Fifty-one? Things have been nice and quiet for the past thirty minutes." "That's what I'm afraid of, Number Thirty." The female changeling fretted, and she cast a worried look at the door behind her. "They were just screaming and yelling about a chair and marshmallows, and now...Nothing. It's quiet." She's right...It does seem a little too quiet. "Well, what do you suggest we do, Number Thirty?" "We could open the door..." "Is that wise? Our quee-....Princess never gave us any rules concerning our concern for her in an event like this." "Well I'm worried." "And now you've got me worried." Number Fifty-one sighed, and set aside his spear. He approached the door, and knocked on it gently. "Princess Chrysalis? Princess Luna, Princess Celestia? Is everything alright in there?" There was no answer that graced his question. He looked over at Number Thirty, who frowned. "Open it up, we might have an emergency on our hooves!" "Alright, alright! We're coming in, Princesses, I-" Number Fifty-one was cut off rather abruptly by a massive wall of marshmallow, which cascaded down upon him. Number Thirty screamed, causing nearby guards to approach their area with raised spears. Fortunately, any questions that were going to be asked were silenced as Celestia crawled out, followed by Chrysalis and Luna. The three alicorns stared at the small group of guards that had gathered around them, and thus began a rather awkward explanation of what exactly happened. Author's Note Chrysalis lives in a closet because the other rooms in the castle are being refurbished Celestia also collects marshmallows Unfortunately that led to a marshmallow avalanche It was a glorious day for smores
Eat my noise cannon, Tia!Eat my noise cannon, Tia! Tia is so going to get it once she walks through that door! Luna was currently setting up a specially made cannon, courtesy of Vinyl Scratch, whom she located by asking around for the best in noise amplification machines. And Vinyl Scratch sure knew how to deliver them, as seen by (currently unfinished) cannon. It was so large and massive that the only logical and safe way to surprise her sister with it was to erect the cannon on the opposite side of a door. Unfortunately, it was also a complicated piece of machinery that she could barely piece together with the instruction manual. Chrysalis wasn't making her job any easier, either, by complaining. "For the love of Faust, Lulu, did you really have to say, and I quote, 'the biggest, loudest, and most complicated noise cannon that would rock my socks off!'? This thing is taking forever to set up, and we even had to take it down and reassemble the entire thing! Twice!" "I didn't think Vinyl would take my words to heart!" "Well, she did, and we had to assemble this thing by ourselves, since the guards would have probably tattled on us. At least we're almost done." "Yeah, that's a relief." Luna grunted as she hefted the large battery that was almost as big as her into its rightful place, and wiped away at the sweat that came with the daunting task of assembling the noise cannon. "Are we almost done?" "One moment." Chrysalis looked over at the instruction manual that was provided with the parts for the noise cannon, and sighed. "One last thing, Lulu." Finally, we're almost done! "What is it, Chrys? Tia should be entering her room any moment now, so let's hurry up!" Okay, okay, sheesh! Now, the last step is...Huh. Chrysalis read through the last instruction twice to make sure her eyes weren't playing tricks on her, and when she was convinced that they were not, she spoke in a confused tone of voice. "...Uh, I'm not sure if I'm reading this right, but the cannon needs a sacrifice of a vinyl record, with us chanting 'Noise for the noise god!' three times in the background as the machine accepts the sound sample given to it." Did I hear that right? "Huh? Could you repeat that again, Chrys?" "Well, apparently, that oversized coin slot looking thing at the top? Yeah, you're supposed to insert a vinyl record 'sacrifice' in that slot, and wait for the cannon to 'digest' the record, and we chant that phrase for...Some reason. It's how the cannon operates." "You're pulling my hoof." "It's on the instruction manual, I swear!" "Let me see that." Luna snatched the instruction manual from Chrysalis, and skimmed down to the last step, where it just so happened that Chrysalis was telling the truth. When did technology get so complicated? "...Do we even have a vinyl record to sacrifice, Chrys?" "Yeah, apparently it comes along with the cannon as a sort of 'freebie', I guess. Want me to put it in, or do you want to find another vinyl record?" "I don't think we're going to find another vinyl record anytime soon, so pop it in, I guess." Chrysalis looked around in one of the boxes (there were sixteen in total), and eventually found a vinyl record with the words 'HELLO THERE' written in capital letters. "I think I've found it, Lulu." "Great! Put it in, and let's get this started!" Chrysalis nodded once, then fluttered up to the slot on top of the cannon. She slid the vinyl record in, then quickly went to Luna's side. As one, they took in a deep breath, and began to chant. "Noise for the noise god! Noise for the noise god! Noise for the noise god!" As they chanted, the noise cannon made an irritating grating sound that was almost as annoying as Celestia when she was hyper on sugar. Eventually, though, the grating stopped, and the two alicorns gave each other a hoof-five, glad that the hard part of setting of the cannon was over. "Ha ha, yeah, Lulu, we did it!" "Right on, Chrys!" At that moment, there was a faint knock at the door. "Chrys, Lulu? Is that you two I hear in there, and not a group of changelings making a mock bet about which one of you is the better fighter?" Chrysalis mentally reminded herself to have a word with her changelings before responding. "Yes, Tia, we're in here, no, we're not changelings...Uh, changeling drones, that is, and why are you still outside the door? Come in, Tia!" She picked up some earmuffs, noting that Luna had already done the same. "This is gonna be so great!" "Well, alright then." Celestia stepped inside the room, and was instantly met with a cannon barrel at face. "What th-" At that moment, Luna pressed down on the comically oversized red button, causing the cannon to fire its ammunition in the form of sound. "HELLO THERE!" Unfortunately, Celestia could not say hello back to the cannon, as she flew backwards, through a few walls, and only stopped when she reached the kitchens, where her landing zone was the giant cheesecake that she had asked the chef to create for her that evening, to share between all three of them. As ponies tried to piece together what just happened, Chrysalis and Luna were laughing it up. "Oh, Faust, did you see how far she flew?!" Chrysalis roared as she pounded the floor with a hoof. "Like, whoosh!" "Ahaha, yeah!" Luna cried, doubling over in laughter, "That was absolutely priceless!" A muffled cough was heard, and Luna turned around to see who made it; that pony was none other than Twilight Sparkle. "You know, if I were you two, I'd run." "Ah, good to see you, Sparkle! Run? Hee hee, whatever for, Twilight Sparkle? It was a good, if over the top prank, and my sister will see that!" "...Not when she landed in the cheesecake she asked to be made earlier. You know how much she likes cheesecake." Uh oh. Luna squinted at the direction that her sister had 'flown' through, and sure enough, she could just make out her dazed sister, with her normally clean, pristine coat covered with cheesecake. This is not good. "I think we're dead, Chrys." "Oh?" "Tia's gonna kill us. She landed in a cheesecake she wanted to eat later!" That does sound rather...Problematic for us. "...What do we do, then? "RUN!" "Agreed!" The two alicorns ran off in different directions, while 'Twilight Sparkle' grinned. "I knew the day would come where it would benefit me to have my faithful student be able to masquerade as me perfectly." With a dim flash, Twilight Sparkle turned into Celestia, and she sighed as she looked at the destruction the noise cannon created. "Though I do wish the cheesecake was spared." Author's Note Vinyl has made a small fortune selling noise cannons, there's quite the surprising demand for them Noise for the noise god HELLO THERE Inspired by this Poor Twilight
Okay, now that's just rude, Lulu!That's rude, Lulu! One thing that has never been thoroughly taken note of were the alicorns. Most ponies took them for granted, and looked up to them as their guardians, and in some cases, as goddesses. Some...Even had 'unhealthy' obsessions with the alicorns, of which the most recent member, Chrysalis, finally joined. Historians have long sought to truly understand them, but very little information was present; after all, they behaved like normal ponies for the most part, so there wasn't anything specific to the alicorns that anypony could distinctly say was 'alicorn-only'. Today, that changed, however, as historians finally recorded something that would become the basis of many books; alicorns had a very bad temper when annoyed long enough. This was found out by Prince Blueblood, who had done some graffiti work on a castle wall. In hindsight, it probably wasn't wise to add 'By Bluebloodz sickk l33t magick 5killz' underneath his work, but he didn't want some rascal claiming his work for their own! Though, he was clearly regretting his decision now, as a very angry Luna was glaring at him. The only reason he wasn't in the dungeons right now was the fact that Luna deemed the dungeons as 'too good' for him, and was thinking of some other punishment for him. That, and she wanted to know the reasoning on why he mocked her so. This is unacceptable! I will not allow Blueblood to sully my name like so! This mockery of me will not go unpunished! "What do you have to say for yourself, Blueblood?! I cannot believe you would go to such lengths to disgrace me!" "Dang, Lulu, now I know what he did was wrong, but c'mon, can't you admire his work? It's very...Interesting." Chrysalis was with Luna, subbing in for Celestia, who was called away on official business with the builders guild concerning the constant destruction of the castle. Apparently they were going to discuss a potential way to make things easier on the workers, and things easier on the royal treasury. "After all, at the end of the day, it's just paint." Luna sighed, and shot an exasperated look at the alicorn across from her. "That may be so, but it's a painting of me! He drew me with a comically oversized moon pie, with the words 'Little loony Luna goes loony for moon pies' said by a nearby picture of my sister! Why must he make fun of my affection for moon pies?! That's not something you should be doing to anypony, much less me!" At this, Blueblood frowned, and spoke up against the accusation, offended by what his auntie said. "That was not my intent at all, auntie Lulu, to make fun of your inclination for moon pies! I was merely spreading out the word that you enjoy moon pies, and I had no ill intentions when making that picture!" Luna clearly wasn't buying his explanation. "Then why was your graffiti showing a clearly oversized me eating an equally oversized moon pie with Celestia calling me 'little loony Luna'?! I am little, I am not loony, but I am certainly and only Luna!" What did I get myself into...? Chrysalis studied Luna for a moment, and carefully picked out her next few words to avoid obtaining Luna's wrath. "...Well, you're smaller than Tia and you certainly...Have a bit of a crazy streak in you." Luna snorted. "I am not that much smaller than my sister! As to the remark about me having a crazy streak, so do you! So do all of us! We are all crazy, have you seen what happens around in this castle?!" ...Point taken. Too many crazy things happen around here, and I fear for my health in the future. "I suppose we all have a little bit of crazy in us, Lulu." Feeling like she had gained a little leverage over Chrysalis, Luna pressed on with attacking Blueblood verbally. "Indeed! However, none of us have as much of a crazy streak in us like Blueblood does, the villainous scoundrel!" I think I'll draw the line here; now she's just name calling. "Okay, now that's just rude, Lulu! You shouldn't call him out on that, you've done worse!" "Well, he made degrading graffiti of me! He made one earlier about Celestia, with the words 'Crazy caffeinated Celestia goes cuckoo for coffee cake!' I wouldn't be surprised if he made one of you, even though you haven't been with us long!" "So? I would personally find it flattering if he did so. It means he cares enough about me to make such things, and he obviously cares for you a great deal, Lulu, if he went ahead and did everything you're telling me right now!" I can't believe Chrys right now, and I can't believe what she's saying! "...That would flatter you, to have a spray painted picture on a wall somewhere, depicting you in a bad light?" "How exactly is your picture depicting you in a bad light? All it did was show you with a moon pie." "That's what I want to know! I need to know what Blueblood's intentions were with that picture, and what message it was meant to convey! Explain yourself, Blue...Blood?" While Luna was trying to explain why Blueblood was crazier than the rest of them, he had jumped out a now open window to escape the room. Without much thought put into her next action, Luna jumped out after him, bent on capturing him again so she could get some answers. "Oh no you don't, you rascal! You will explain yourself to me, come Faust or high water!" A very confused Chrysalis tried to process what just happened, and deciding that it would be better if she didn't understand what was going on, she began to think about what she'd tell Tia when she came back from the builder's guild. Author's Note It's about time I actually referenced the title of the story Chrysalis is replacing Celestia in this story Ponies jumping out the window
Stop drinking so much coffee, Tia!Stop drinking so much coffee, Tia! Luna yawned as the sun rose; this was her cue to prepare for bed. Night court was exhausting, and she wanted nothing more than to sleep. A growl from her stomach, though, told her otherwise, and she wasn't about to try and go to sleep on an empty stomach. That wasn't very healthy. So, with the goal of filling up her tummy with some sort of snack in mind, she began to travel towards the kitchens; along the way, she met up with Chrysalis, who waved at her. "Lulu! How was night court?" "Terribly exhausting...I'm going to get a small snack from the kitchens before I go to sleep." "Ah. I'm feeling a bit peckish myself, so I'll join you. Balancing your check is weird...Did you really ask a unicorn to enchant a moon pie to become your pet?" "Yes, and it ended terribly, as it almost ate Blueblood. I had to dispel it personally." Oh. "I'm sorry, Lulu." Huh? "I'm not, that moon pie was twice as delicious as any moon pie I've ever eaten!" ...Even though that thing was your pet once upon a time, you still ate it? Only you. "Ah, I see." The two alicorns opened the doors to the kitchen, only to see Celestia sitting up straight and staring off into space next to an apologetic looking Coffee Joe, with empty coffee mugs littered all around Celestia like a minefield. Luna immediately knew this was a bad sign; after all, her sister wasn't usually that rigid, surrounded by coffee mugs, and lost in her train of thought. She didn't quite understand why it was a 'train' of thought, but if it indeed was a train, then truly, her sister's train of thought seemed to be derailed, if what she was seeing right now was anything to go off by. Chrysalis cleared her throat, and circled around Celestia. "Tia?" She raised a hoof to Celestia's face, and began waving it about; unfortunately, there was no reaction at all. "What has happened here, Coffee Joe? Has Tia's mind finally snapped?" The stallion sighed, and rubbed the back of his head, wondering where it all went wrong. "I don't know 'bout her mind snappin', but Celestia here came by, seemingly grumpy this morning. I know I would be, raising the sun early. She had a cup of coffee, then asked for seconds. Never have I ever heard her ask for a second cup, but I didn't think too much of it. I think that's where the problem began, actually. She said 'seconds', not 'second' cup, so...Yeah. I thought she was nursing her coffee nice and slow, though, apparently, that's not the case." "Indeed." Luna counted twenty coffee mugs on the floor, some of which still had dregs of coffee still inside. Her sister could be such a slob, and a lazy one at that. "So, when you looked back at her, she looked like...This?" "That would be correct." Chrysalis then made the mistake of gently pressing her right hoof against Celestia's nose, in an attempt to see if physical contact would snap her out of it. It did, though at the cost of realizing that Celestia certainly didn't drink decaf. "CHRYS!" Celestia cried out rather loudly, and the changeling alicorn suddenly found herself wrapped up in a bear crushing hug, constricting her ability to breathe. "Omigosh omigosh I feel soooooooo good! It's like I'm so happy and I'm happy and I jumpy and twitchy and my back itches and why aren't you saying anything Chrys Chrys Chrys?" Due to the lack of air, Chrysalis could not respond to the hyperactive alicorn, and she promptly passed out. Sighing, Celestia set Chrysalis down, then lunged at Luna, who swiftly dodged her sister after seeing the effects of what would happen if she were caught. "What are you doing, sister?!" "I feel so happy and amazing! It's like I can do anything! Wee!" To Luna's horror and astonishment, her sister jumped at a wall, and somehow, instead of her weight (which was always a tender subject) causing her to go through the wall, she bounced off it like it was made of rubber. Celestia began bouncing around like a pinball, and Luna swore she was hearing the 'ding' of points being awarded. "Everypony out! Celestia is hyper!" Her proclamation caused a ruckus as ponies scrambled to leave the kitchen, though she supposed that it was more because Celestia was now a living pinball then what she actually said. When it was just her, Coffee Joe and an unconscious Chrysalis, Luna threw a frying pan at Celestia, causing her to go off-course and land in a sack of potatoes meant for lunch later. "Stop drinking so much coffee, Tia! Look what you've done to the kitchen!" "I'm sorry but I'm having so much fun bouncing around like bouncy bouncy bouncy bounce!" This is going to be impossible to deal with. "Please, sister, stop!" "Nope, I won't do as you say!" Celestia prepared to start bouncing again, when she suddenly tripped over a bag of potatoes. Luna expected her to jump right back up and ricochet off the walls again, but her sister made no movement at all. Concerned, Luna walked up to her sister, and did what any concerned pony would do; grab the biggest stick (or similar to) they could find (in this particular case it was a nearby pot), and poke at Celestia gently. "Tia? Tia, are you okay?" "She's under a coffee crash right now." Luna turned around to see Coffee Joe, who was looking around in dismay at the destruction caused by the living pinball. "Even though coffee can help you stay awake, it can also sometimes give you a massive 'crash' later on, in which you'll feel extremely tired and cranky, and the only real solution after that is to either drink more coffee which I would not recommend in this case, or take a nap, which I do. I'm guessing she spent all her energy becoming a pinball." Luna processed this information slowly, then looked at her sister, who was indeed sleeping. "...Don't tell me I'm going to have to take care of her duties and Chrysalis', aren't I?" "Yep." "And I won't get any breaks in-between duties?" "Most likely." Luna suddenly located a pair of sunglasses that weren't damaged, and she levitated them over, placing them over her eyes. "Bring it on." Author's Note Coffee Joe returns Crazy caffinated Celestia makes her appearance as a living pinball Today is not Chrysalis' day
This is unacceptable, Lulu!This is unacceptable, Lulu! Celestia hummed quietly to herself as she walked down a long pathway in the castle, not particularly headed in any direction. The reason why was because she had just finished a rather tiring meeting with a few of the aristocrats (made only slightly better by Fancy Pants, which she thanked immensely for keeping them under control, for the most part), and she felt that she should spend her recess walking around the castle. Hm. Fancy Pants is bearable, as always, though not even he can help me through this meeting. Honestly, what are ponies thinking these days? It's as if they've lost all sense of dignity nowadays. Due to her musing, she wasn't paying attention to her surroundings, and Celestia bumped into Chrysalis, who was perplexed at why Celestia didn't return her greetings yet continued to walk at her. "Oof! Oh, hello, Chrys; I'm sorry about that." I think somepony here is distracted. Just a guess. "No harm done, Tia. Bit for your thoughts?" "Well," Celestia began, resuming her walk, with Chrysalis following her, "I'm just thinking about the latest thing that the aristocrats wish to add to Canterlot. It's rather confusing, to say the least, and I don't know why it was brought up in the first place." Oh; I don't envy you, then. My changelings can be just as difficult. "What have they brought up now?" "They want to add a roller coaster as a means of transportation around Canterlot. Roller coaster tracks everywhere, judging by their demands; that would be chaos! It would probably take three times our current guard to cover over, and that still may not be safe for ponies." ...That actually seems like fun, though I agree, dangerous as well. "Oh my. Haven't your aristocrats been to school?" "Yes. Their schooling, however, is about learning how to flaunt money and make ridiculous demands simply because they can pay for it. In other words, homeschooled. Their parents didn't want to send them into 'common' school, so...This is what I have to work with." "How have you put up with them?" "Some are bearable, such as Fancy Pants, who grew up in an orphanage and rose to become an aristocrat; he knows what ponies really need, having been a 'common' pony himself. Fluttershy also knows what ponies want, though she's often too busy to attend the meetings here, and I don't want that pegasus to attend such meetings, anyway; she's too shy, although she does speak the truth most of the time, which most aristocrats don't like to hear." Chrysalis snorted, remembering the shy pegasus. "Fluttershy? She's an aristocrat? I never would have guessed her out of all ponies would be among the Elite of Canterlot." "Oh, she actually is, though! She was sent by her parents to live in Cloudsdale with her aunt and uncle to learn how to fly in flight school, as is custom of most pegasai. She simply found her calling in taking care of animals in the countryside, that's all. Her current name that she gives to her friends is an anagram of her actual name, 'Fley Truths'." "Well, that's certainly a bit of information I never knew. Oh, we're nearing the mailroom; do you mind coming along with me? I need to grab the packaging records in the storage room, and I think there's a special package for you thats been set aside." "I get sent packages all the time, but I'll follow you in; I have nothing to do anyway." The two alicorns walked into the massive mailroom, nodding at the ponies who worked there. It was always quite busy, with ponies constantly sending mail to the alicorns. Most of it was simple affection, although others were...Disturbing and questionable, to say the least. After a few near accidents of mailbags tipping over and a sudden tornado that was throwing letters everywhere in the right places (due to a unicorn testing a new spell to speed up mail sorting), Celestia and Chrysalis arrived at the package section of the mailroom without much injury other than a few papercuts. "That spell was amazing, Chrys!" "Indeed. Sure, we got a few papercuts and it was messy, but, if it was refined, it could save the mail district tons on injuries caused by sorting mail!" "My ponies get injured sorting mail, Chrys?" "Like you wouldn't believe, Tia. Why-" A sudden crash was heard, and the two alicorns quickly rushed to the source of the sound, which happened to be Luna, who was grumbling about poor hoof placement. When she looked up, she visibly gulped, and Celestia instantly knew that Luna was up to something. "Hello, Lulu." "...Hi, Tia, Chrys! How are you? Ha ha, fancy meeting you two here..." "Spit it out, Lulu; what are you doing here?" Luna seemed to be at a loss for words, and Celestia was waiting impatiently for her sister to answer her, so only Chrysalis noticed the stamp located next to Luna. She levitated it up, and slowly read what the stamp said, with some confusion apparent in her voice. Both Celestia and Luna looked at her when she began speaking, Celestia with curiosity in her eyes, and horror in Luna's. "Return...To...Sender. Why do you have a stamp that says 'Return to sender', Lulu?" Returning my packages, Lulu? "Indeed. Why?" Luna sighed, knowing that her gig was up."I was stamping packages of apples sent to you by Applejack. I've been doing it for a few months, Tia. I really, really don't like apples!" Of all the things you could be doing... "This is unacceptable, Lulu!" "You're not going to be able to finish eating all those apples Applejack sends you, so you'll probably make me eat them!" Celestia could not believe what her sister was saying right now. "That's not true!" "How would I know?!" "You mean you did all this because you thought that I would force feed you apples?!" Luna considered what her sister said, then nodded. "...Yes." Chrysalis, meanwhile, slowly walked away from the two, picking up the packaging records and leaving Luna to her fate. "Those two..." Author's Note Fluttershy is actually the fifth richest pegasus in Equestria Luna gets caught Luna has gone behind Celestia's back all this time I could, possibly, make a little side-story about 'Fley Truths', though I'm not exactly sure it'd be humorous
I can't describe it, Lulu!I can't describe it, Lulu! Chrysalis was currently rummaging through her refurbished room (though it still felt like a closet) for a snack. Although she mainly fed on love, it wasn't very nutritious, so she still had to eat like every other pony. While it was true that she probably could have just gone into the kitchens nearby for a more filling item, she didn't want to disturb the cooks; apparently Celestia and Luna bothered the cooks every other day, so she didn't want to add to that. Unfortunately, her own personal little fridge had absolutely nothing inside of it, which irked her immensely. "There was literally a mountain of marshmallows here, and now there's nothing! Tia mentioned something about each of them having a little space set aside for each of them containing their own snacks, and I know I sent my list of things I like to the chefs! Ugh..." Upset over the fact that she had no food to consume now, she picked up the mini fridge and threw it at her door. Of course, that was when the door opened, and a startled voice rang out. "What the heck?! Chrys, are you TRYING to kill me?!" Life was funny like that; Chrysalis indeed wanted her mini fridge to die, though she didn't think it would try to take another pony with it. Nice timing, Chrys. She flashed an apologetic smile at the annoyed alicorn. "Sorry, Lulu! I assure you it was not my intention to kill you with an empty mini fridge!" "Doesn't look like it from what I saw." Luna walked into the room, levitating Chrysalis' mini fridge behind her. "Honestly, Chrys, you need to be more careful." I need to be more careful? This is coming from the alicorn that jumped out the window and just barely managed to fit through it, just to chase Blueblood. "Uh, okay. That is deliciously ironic, Lulu, coming from you." Luna set down the mini fridge next to Chrysalis, and stuck her tongue out at her. "Stop mocking me, Chrys! I hate it when you turn my own words around on me like that. Anyway, I came back to ask you a question, that is, if you're comfortable about answering it. It's...Something I felt like should come from you rather than asking a random changeling." Interesting. "Oh? What do you need asking me for that cannot be answered by any other changeling?" "Well, I also wanted a personal view on it, and since, well, you were the former queen of the changelings, you'd know something of it." Luna pulled up a chair, and sat across from Chrysalis. "Not to be rude, but your changelings also aren't the easiest things to talk to. They tend to...Absorb a few details from the ponies they've masqueraded, apparently, because I've recently met a large group of changelings asking for permission to take leave for Ponyville because they suddenly feel like becoming crazed bakers, obsessive fashion designers, stubborn apple farmers, paranoid librarians, quiet animal caretakers and loud, obnoxious Wonderbolt hopefuls. They're not really who I'd go to in the first place. You are, though!" I really wish I knew why my changelings keep a few personality traits of other ponies with them, because it's not making my life easier. I also sincerely hope she's not about to ask about the holes in our hooves, because that's a story I'd rather not explain. "Well, you're keeping me in too much suspense, Lulu! I'm going to need you to tell me what the question is if you want an answer to that question." "I know how the process works, Chrys, sheesh. Anyway, what's it like, taking love from a pony, and how does it taste like?" Hm...That's a very interesting question, actually. It's about on the same level of difficulty of trying to describe color to a blind pony. "It's...Well, it's just like eating, really, Lulu. Just...A lot different. It's like...Um..." Chrysalis began to think about changelings and their unique need for love. How exactly did you describe that to somepony that wasn't a changeling? "...All I can say for sure is the first part of your question about 'taking' love from a pony, and my answer to that is that they might feel a little drained of energy, but they won't be any worse for wear, unless a changeling feeds off them regularly. I can't really say anything about the taste, you have to be a changeling to understand what love tastes like." Luna had a look of despair on her face that was very accurately showing how sad her curiosity was. If there was ever a word able to fully describe what I'm feeling right now, it would be disappointment. "But Chrys, the taste! It's something that I really, really want to know! You can't just tell me it's something that only changelings would be able to understand!" "I can't describe it, Lulu! I'm sorry, but that's all I can say!" Luna stood up from her chair, with a sudden, desperate look in her eyes. No! I need to know! "You don't understaaaaaaaaaaaand Chrys, I neeeeeeeeeeeeed to know! It's annoying to have this curiosity you just can't satisfy, like an itch that won't go away, or that moon pie you want but can't have because you ate them all already, or...Or something else equally annoying! This will haunt me for a very long time, and as immortal alicorns a long time is too long! Please, I need to knooooooooooow!" "First, you put me down. Gently." During Luna's panic, she had picked up Chrysalis in her hooves and was adjusting her position in what seemed like an attempt to throw her. How does that even happen? I need to panic less. Sheepishly, Luna set Chrysalis back down, who was trying to figure out an answer for Luna's sake. What do I say? I don't exactly have an answer to her question, so I should probably think of something that would push her away. Hm...Ah, got it! She hates apples but likes bananas, so I should combine the two together and see if that's enough to push her away! "Well, the closest thing that I can say that love tastes like for me is a banapple." Once Chrysalis said that, she dearly wished she could have captured Luna's confused expression on her face, because it was by far the best thing she'd seen in a long while. "I...Huh? What? A banapple...?" "Yes, Lulu, a combination of bananas and apples, and what a delightful combination it is! I try to mix actual apples and bananas together in an attempt to replicate the taste, but sadly, it just doesn't taste the same, like love does." There was an unsettling twitch of Luna's eyes, and her voice suddenly took on a menacing tone. Unfortunately for Chrysalis, she didn't notice. "You...You eat apples...And mix them with bananas...?" "Correct, Lulu! It's actually one of my favorite things to do, since it tastes great!" You did not just...HOW COULD YOU, CHRYS?! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING! Luna grimaced, and spoke with the intensity that was the Royal Canterlot Voice. "THAT'S DISGUSTING! HOW COULD YOU EAT SUCH AN UNHOLY ABOMINATION?! I WILL KILL YOU, HERETIC!" Uh oh. Author's Note Mini fridge projectiles on sale for 2.50 Luna wonders what love tastes like and is too curious Chrysalis can't describe anything so she tries to push Luna away It backfires Badly
No way, Tia!No way, Tia! Alicorns like mischief. Who could blame them? They had all the time in the world to themselves, and so they needed a way to relieve their boredom. Playing pranks, tricks, and all sorts of things on other ponies and each other to amuse themselves was something that they needed to do in order to go through their daily routine. It was here, though, that the problems began; sometimes, one alicorn's mischief tended to get out of hoof. Really quickly, as Chrysalis was finding out. "I swear I didn't do it, Tia!" Chrysalis was currently running away (with a duck perched on her head and quacking what she assumed to be insults) while performing some excellent parkour as she weaved around ponies, taking great care to avoid causing harm to them as she ran on walls, grabbed onto ledges, and just, well, did things she didn't know she could do in the first place. In contrast to her graceful, death defying stunts and acrobats, Celestia was a bulldozer that didn't care about what got in her way, since she could just smash into it and be none worse the wear. She didn't trample over her ponies and changelings, but she didn't make any attempts to avoid them, either. Thankfully, most ponies and changelings had the sense to step out of Chrysalis' way, and those with even more sense took three steps to avoid Celestia. Those that weren't as lucky or had slow reaction times would find themselves in the suddenly crowded infirmary later that day, much to Celestia's later embarrassment and shame. "Of course you did! Who else would have set up banana bombs in my room?!" Maybe if you would stop rampaging through the castle and listened to me, we'd be pulling a return prank on Lulu! Chrysalis was going to get her revenge on Luna, if Celestia didn't kill her first. The duck quacked as if in agreement with her, and she wondered if ducks could read the minds of ponies if they were settled on their heads. Her mind wandered back to when this all started, and to that accursed lever that was in Luna's room. The day had started off normally, as did most days; today, Luna was off on an important meeting with a few ponies, something that she was oddly excited for. Before she left, she took Chrysalis aside, apparently wanting to speak with her in private. That probably should have had been Chrysalis' first clue that Luna was planning something. "Chrys, there's something very important I have to tell you." Chrysalis was a bit confused, since she thought that Luna would first confide with her sister first before her. "Shouldn't you be confiding in your sister, then, instead of me?" Luna shifted uncomfortably, obviously discomforted over something, though what, Chrysalis didn't have a clue at all. "Tia is precisely the reason why I cannot tell her of all ponies; she would banish me if she knew about this!" I'm getting myself into something I shouldn't be involved in, aren't I... Chrysalis placed a hoof on Luna's right shoulder in an attempt to try and comfort her. "Whoa, whoa, okay, Lulu, hold up. Breathe slowly. Explain this to me, and explain why your sister would banish you for whatever it is." Luna looked around, making sure there was nopony around, and leaned in, speaking quietly to her. "I have been working on strange things, things that would cause no end of trouble if used incorrectly. That is why I need you to stay in my room, guarding it from others that may try to use the devices I have hid within! They aren't dangerous, per se, but they do have the ability to anger a lot of ponies if used incorrectly! I need to tell Tia the benefits of using these devices, but first I must thoroughly test them out! They may be unsafe as of now, so please, don't touch anything that looks suspicious!" "Alright Lulu, I'll keep your room nice and safe, don't you worry!" -Some time later- "This is so boring. I thought this would be fun, adventure filled job!" Chrysalis groaned as she looked up at the duck that was nesting on her head. She was laying down on Luna's bed, and although she was supposed to be 'guarding' her room, in reality she was killing herself by simply being in there. There wasn't much out of place in Luna's room; heck, you could pass it on as an alicorn-sized playroom. There were toys scattered around, ranging from plushies of Rainbow Dash (Chrysalis counted twenty in all), water guns, rubber ducks, real ducks (they were currently snuggling up with her, which she found to be slightly disturbing and a clear violation of personal space, and only tolerated because they were Luna's ducks), and the odd painting. Oh, and the lever in the middle of the room. This lever was avoided by the ducks, which gave her all the reason to avoid it herself. Chrysalis didn't know why there was a lever of all things in the middle of the room. She assumed that it was just a prop, since she didn't think Luna of all ponies would actually put a working lever in the middle of her room, where anypony could flip it. Her curiosity, though, was nonetheless working against her, due to being put in a boring situation. She got up from Luna's bed, causing all the ducks except for the one on her head to flap away. She neared the lever, and paused as she reached out a hoof. Should I really do this? I mean, Luna told me not to touch anything, but it's so boring in her room, and the ducks aren't helping. I'm not sure if this is a prop, or something else... Her mind raged a battle between wanting to satisfy her curiosity, to simply going back to Luna's bed and doing nothing. In the end, her curiosity won and utterly crushed the other side, so she threw the lever. The duck on her head seemed to quack fearfully, though nothing actually happened. Well, that did nothing. I guess it was a prop after all. Probably a decoy that Luna put it which...Probably activated a trap somewhere. Did I just spring a trap on myself? As she looked around Luna's room for any signs of incoming confectionary or frying pans, she heard a rumble throughout the castle. It took awhile for Chrysalis to realize it was her name being called out by a very, very angry Celestia. "CHRYSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALIS!" I think she's mad at me. Faust help me. How was I supposed to know that the lever I pulled happened to activate a booby trap that shot out banana cream pies in Celestia's study? AND WHAT KIND OF TIMING IS THAT, WITH TIA JUST ABOUT TO SIT DOWN IN HER STUDY?! "You got nothin' on me, Tia! No proof that I did anything! I didn't do anything to you, honest!" The duck quacked, and threw a feather at Celestia, which did nothing to improve Celestia's mood. All I wanted to do is sit down and read a book, but no, I get attacked by multiple banana cream pies all at once! "I highly doubt that's the case, Chrys! Now get over here!" "No way, Tia!" And so, chaos rampaged through the castle until Luna came back, and then once the truth got out, all three got into a brawl that only ended when Cadence arrived from her surprise visit, and she went through the painful task of breaking them up and forcing them to make apology cupcakes for each other. Author's Note Celestia has a part time job working as a living bulldozer Chrysalis has made close friends with the duck on her head, and calls her Quackum Luna's gonna get what's coming for her
Would I ever, Tia!Would I ever, Tia! What is with the saying 'You can't have your cake and eat it, too'? If the cake is in my stomach, then surely it's 'mine'! It sure as heck isn't Tia's or Lulu's, or any other pony, for that matter. Ponies come up with the weirdest things sometimes... Quackum, who was perched on her head seemed to agree with her, letting out a quiet quack. Currently, Chrysalis was eating some cake with Celestia, and with them feeling a touch too lazy to go down to the kitchens today, had it sent up to Celestia's balcony, where they were enjoying the sun setting. It wouldn't be long before Celestia had to go to sleep, so she decided to spend a little time with her before that happened. The free cake was a bonus, too. "Mm...Isn't this how life should be like, Chrys? Just sitting out in the somewhat warm twilight, with a friend with a duck on their head and some cake for company? It just feels right." Celestia levitated another spoonful of cake into her mouth, while looking over at a content Chrysalis. A slight nod accompanied Chrysalis' words as Quackum quacked her agreement. "That sounds far better than what Luna wanted to do, so yes, it indeed is right." A curious Celestia raised a brow, wondering what her sister tried to rope Chrysalis into this time. "Oh? What did Luna want to do, Chrys?" "Well, it involves Bluebloo-" That's never a good thing, and it'll probably have me questioning my sanity. "Never mind, please don't tell me." Chrysalis stuck her tongue out at Celestia, and put a forkful of cake in her mouth. "Mmmph, knew ya'd react that way." Rolling her eyes, Celestia set her plate aside, and watched as the duck jumped off of Chrysalis' head to wander around the balcony. "You've grown attached to that duck, haven't you?" "I suppose. She wouldn't leave me alone, and apparently likes sitting on my head. I have no say in the matter, apparently. Her name is Quackum." Celestia grinned at that. "Oh, poor Chrysalis, having been bested by a duck!" "Not funny, Tia!" "Hee hee. Well, as much as I want to continue teasing you, I have to lower the sun completely to make way for the night; Luna should be up now, and she gets cranky when she has to move my sun out of the way first before she can lift up her moon." Chrysalis watched as Celestia extended her wings out slowly and lit her horn, levitating herself up in the air. No matter how many times Chrysalis saw either Luna or Celestia perform the ritual for raising and lowering their respective domains, it still managed to be an amazing sight that never lost its grandeur. It was like eating rainbows, though a heck of a lot cooler (or hotter; whenever Celestia raised to sun, it always felt like it got ten degrees hotter nearby) and was actually possible to witness. There were no words that existed to even try to explain the phenomenon in front of her; there just weren't any words at all. Many have tried, and none have even come close to describing how serene and breath-taking the scene could be. You were watching an alicorn raise the sun, how could you describe something like that? You simply can't, Chrysalis murmured inside her head, you simply can't describe something this beautiful. It's times like this that I truly see their power, and how easily they could crush me under the sheer weight of it. I really, really hope I didn't sign my death warrant early by siding with them. All too soon, and yet seemingly having taken forever, Celestia was done with lowering the sun completely, and slowly, her hooves were back down on the ground. With an amused glance towards Chrysalis, Celestia spoke softly, and even hesitantly. "So...Do you enjoy watching me raise the sun, Chrys?" Of course! It's only the most amazing thing ever! Though her mind was exploding with compliments, Chrysalis could only nod at Celestia. The beginnings of a rather sinister plan worked up in Celestia's mind, and she smiled at the alicorn across from her. "Well, then...How would you like to learn how to raise and lower the sun?" Chrysalis was astounded by what she heard; she couldn't believe that such thing was offered! Raising and lowering the sun? She'd be a fool not to leap on this chance! "Would I ever, Tia! Please, it's just so amazing whenever I see you do either action!" Excellent. "Of course, there is one thing I want you to promise to do." I'll gladly accept any terms and conditions! "I agree!" I...Huh? I haven't even said what I wanted her to do. Confused and slightly regretful over abusing her relationship with Chrysalis, Celestia made a slight frown at the very giddy alicorn in front of her. "Chrys, I haven't even said what I wanted you to do." "Doesn't matter, I can raise and lower the sun! Besides, I doubt you'd make me do something you know is disturbing and wrong." "...True, it's not 'wrong' the way I see it, bu-" "Ah! Say no more, I agree to whatever it is." Well, then... "Alright, Chrys, I'll teach you how to raise and lower the sun, and in return..." One year later I hate Celestia. On the bright side, I get to do this! Chrysalis was currently under guise as Princess Celestia, and was attending the Summer Sun Celebration in Manehattan. All things considered, it wasn't bad, though it was annoying having ponies coming up to you, kissing your hooves and praising your name like some kind of object to be worshipped (especially if you were a changeling disguising as Celestia). No wonder Celestia said this was her most hated public event, and it apparently was one she was always forced to attend, as a public relations move. At least, unless Celestia ordered her to take her place. This shapeshifting is a curse in disguise. Well, let's get on with it, Chrysalis! At least you get to raise the sun. Slowly, she levitated herself up in the air, and began the awesome task of raising the sun. Author's Note Celestia uses spoons, Chrysalis uses forks, which one of them eats cake the right way Quackum Chrysalis, being the youngest alicorn in my headcanon, is easily impressed by Celestia and Luna's raising and lowering of the sun and moon, respectively Which led to her being easily tricked It was her fault though
That was meant for you, Lulu!That was meant for you, Lulu! A piece of cake a day, lackaday, a piece of cake a day! Not two, not three, not zero, but one! Oh, lackaday, only one piece of cake a day! A mourning Celestia was upset over the piece of cake she practically inhaled; due to many of the cooks taking their leave for summer vacation, food production in the castle had decreased dramatically. That meant smaller meals, which meant less food, which meant... Less cake. Of all things, less cake! ...And with less ponies to share it with. Glumly, she looked around her room, which was, as always, spotless, clean, perfect. Everything a pony could ask for and more! ...However, it still wasn't enough for her. Chrysalis was off on a little trip to teach some young changelings how to shape shift, and Luna was currently sleeping. She was alone, without much to do that wasn't mind-numbingly boring. She set aside the (now crumb-filled) plate, laid down on her bed, and began to think about possible things she could be doing right now to occupy her time. Ugh, nothing's more boring than paperwork, so I think I'll pass on that; besides, most of it is already done, so I can finish it tomorrow. There's a nearby hospital I could visit and hold a little story time, but by the time I get there, it's going to be past visiting time, and I don't want to cause a fuss. Hm... While judging her options, she was staring up at her ceiling, lost in thought. ...Could really use another piece of cake right about now...Why do most of my chefs take their vacation in the summer? It's not fair to me! Do they not see the importance of cake?! Feeling miffed, she rolled over on her bed, and sunk her head into one of her pillows. Being Princess isn't all fun and games; I wish I could be like Twilight, without much responsibility other than a few letters from time to time. Say...That should occupy my time for a short while! With newfound purpose in her life, Celestia walked up to her desk, sat down at the really comfy chair located there, and pulled out a quill, some ink, parchment, and an iHOOF, all the necessary tools for writing a letter to somepony. As she found one of her favorite tunes to listen to, she set to work on writing a letter to Twilight, mostly inquiring as to what she was doing. My faithful student, You may be anticipating a new assignment, or perhaps something of the like upon opening this letter. That is not so; I needed something to occupy my time, and writing a letter to you seemed to be the best thing to do. I am sorry if you are disappointed in the lack of any additional assignments, but fret not, because I'm sure you're too busy with your friends for another assignment. You're probably now thinking of ways to tell me that I'm wrong, but, the statistics show that Ponyville is quite the busy village! Speaking of which, how is Ponyville? Statistics and the like of said place don't do it justice enough, if at all! However, even the statistics are rather unusual and in some cases unbelieveable. How did such a small village get so much trouble in such a short amount of time? I'm considering extending a small guard outpost to the area, though I'd like your input on such a thing. After all, it could potentially disrupt the town's seemingly natural way of attracting trouble. I'm sure some ponies would like that, though. As for me, well, I'm doing fine. Other than the boredom, at least. I can't really help it, though; the duties of my position and the demands of ponies drains what little free time I get, and the time I do get to spend is usually in my room, without much to do. That's probably why I began writing this letter in the first place. I really need to get out and experience more in life, don't I? Anyway, it's been awhile since your last visit to the castle; how about stopping by for a cup of tea? Luna and I would enjoy your company immensely. There's also a special, permanent guest here at the castle that I'd like for you to meet! Though, I'm going to have to ask you not to blast her on sight. You'll know why I wrote that later, if you decide to come on by. Speaking of Luna, she's doing quite well! Her adjusting to modern society is rough, but it's only to be expected. She enjoyed Nightmare night and would be thrilled to see you again! Well, that's all I really wanted to write about, Twilight. I hope to see you here in the castle soon! Sincerely, Princess Celestia With the short letter done, Celestia zapped it with a small burst of magic, where it would then be regurgitated by an unfortunate dragon later. As she watched a small wisp of smoke dissipate into the air, she realized that she had nothing to do now. Disturbed by this knowledge, she stood up from her desk, and looked over at a nearby clock. Surprisingly, writing that short letter took a lot of time, leaving only thirty minutes until Luna woke up. Just enough time to set up a prank on my sister. Luna always was a heavy sleeper, and was just as grumpy as her when waking up. A wake-up call in the form of a prank should be a lot better than a cold shower. At least, that's what Celestia reasoned, as she set her trap. All that was needed now was one alicorn to complete it! She was currently hiding behind a pillar in such a way that she was only able to see the silhouette of anypony that might happen to walk by; thankfully, this hallway was mostly empty, so her prank could go off without any complications from any unfortunate pony who might wonder why there was an unattended, perfectly frosted and mouth-watering cupcake on the floor. There was an invisible web all around the cupcake, ready to trigger upon Celestia's command. Soon enough, she could hear the slow footsteps of somepony approaching, and in the dark, Celestia could faintly make it out as an alicorn. All going to plan. She saw the cupcake being levitated up, and with a mere flick of her horn, triggered the trap. Celestia heard the sounds of struggling, and knew that her prank worked. She walked out, laughing, though the laughter died when she realized she got the wrong alicorn. "Chrys?! I...What?!" A very annoyed looking Chrysalis stopped struggling to look at Celestia. "Please tell me you didn't set me up for this, you know how much I love cupcakes!" A new voice rang out, mixed with fatigue and curiosity. "What the heck is going on here?" Celestia looked beyond Chrysalis to see her sister pointing at Chrysalis. "And why is Chrys in a net, with what looks like cupcake splattered all over her body?" Celestia groaned as she let go of the magic holding Chrysalis, and the mentioned alicorn fell to the floor with a thump and an undignified groan. "That was meant for you, Lulu!" Luna stared at her sister, then at Chrysalis, who was shakily standing back up. "...That wasn't what I was expecting to hear, but okay." A purple flash on the edge of Celestia's vision caused her to sigh as Twilight teleported into the area. "I didn't mean 'soon' as in 'after you finished reading the letter', Twilight!" The three alicorns (and unicorn who was trying her best not to blast Chrysalis right there and then) all looked at each other, with varying levels of confusion and exasperation, and it wasn't until Twilight spoke up that the awkward scene broke. "So...Seeings as we're all gathered around...Who wants to go get a slurpee?" "Hm. 'A' slurpee, Twilight?" Celestia said, staring at her student hungrily. The unicorn began backing away slowly upon seeing that the other two alicorns gave similar looks at her. Seeing as there was no real way out of this situation, Twilight resigned herself to her fate. "...Alicorns must really like slurpees...Goodbye, bits!" Author's Note More slice of life than humor Celestia is bored once again Chrysalis suffers because of it Doesn't matter to her though because they get slurpees
I don't think this was part of your plan, Tia!I don't think this was part of your plan, Tia! Chrysalis was in the process of feeding Quackum some bread. While it was rather random that one of Luna's ducks had decided to take a special interest in her, there wasn't much she could do now; the duck practically made her head her home. It wasn't all bad, though; at least she couldn't complain about needing a hat now, since Quackum's feathers were very good at keeping heat in. Luna didn't mind one of her ducks going rogue, either, so that was good. "Here you go, Quackum! Some nice, warm bread from the kitchens!" She scattered some fresh bread around, and watched as Quackum waddled around, gobbling up the bread. "That's a good duck." Quackum quacked in agreement, and Chrysalis wondered if ducks had more intelligence than they showed. It was then that there was a knocking at her door, followed by one of her changelings calling out. "Princess Chrysalis, you have a message from Princess Celestia! She wants to you to join her in the private dining room for a little snack, two hours from now! She...Uh, specifically said to bring Quackum along! Will you attend?" Huh. Snack time with Celestia, with Quackum? Perfect timing for me, I haven't eaten anything in awhile. "Sure! Give my regards to Celestia, and tell her I shall join her two hours from now!" As the message was being sent, she turned around to pat Quackum on the head gently. "Looks like we'll be getting more food in two hours! Does that sound good, Quackum?" Quackum quacked, and Chrysalis took that as a 'yes'. Two hours later, Chrysalis (with Quackum upon her head) arrived in the dining room, only to enter with a rather ridiculous scene in front of them. Philomena had Celestia's crown clutched in her talons, and she was flying around the table, playing keep-away with an exasperated looking Celestia. "Philomena, please, give me my crown back before Chrysalis and Quackum show up!" Celestia launched herself at Philomena, in a desperate attempt to grab the crown. It was then that Philomena threw the crown at Chrysalis, just before she was tackled to the ground by Celestia. Sensing immediate danger to her life, Quackum quacked loudly as she flew off of Chrysalis' head, and just in time, as the crown neatly landed on Chrysalis' head, which, given the circumstances, Chrysalis found to be unbelieveable. Silence reigned throughout the area as Celestia realized that she and Philomena were not alone, and Chrysalis didn't want to say anything that would make the situation any more awkward than it already was. Fortunately, they were both saved from waiting for the other to talk first by Philomena and Quackum, the latter of whom quacked loudly to get their attention. Both princesses looked over at their respective birds to see them playing a game of charades, and then what they assumed to be laughter. Smiling at both the sight and the fact that the awkward situation was defused, she walked on over to Celestia, and removed the crown from her head. "This thing is heavy, Tia...How can you wear it?" Celestia took the crown from Chrysalis, and set it snugly on her head. "I don't really think about it, Chrysalis, and I've been wearing it for so long that the weight doesn't really bother me. Now, then, I called you down here because I want snack-time with a friend, but also to have our little pets mingle with each other. Luna should also be down here, though she may be a bit late." She offered Chrysalis some cheese and crackers, which Chrysalis took gleefully, having not eaten much today. "Yes, cheese and crackers! So this get-together was also to have our pets introduced to each other?" I never thought of Quackum as a pet; more like a hat that quacks, really. Celestia nodded, watching as the two began circling each other. Probably a part of their game. "Indeed, I figured it would be nice to have the two of them get to know each other, and it seems like it's going we-" Quackum suddenly launched herself at Philomena, quacking what both alicorns later thought of as a warcry, while Philomena quickly backed up from the rampaging duck, and flew around, trying to avoid the duck while finding a vulnerable spot to attack. Both Celestia and Chrysalis exchanged a quick glance at each other before grabbing their respective pets up, and gently scolding them. "Philomena! I expected you to be polite when introduced to another bird!" "Quackum, you shouldn't fight other birds, especially ones that could make a roast duck out of you!" Their words fell on deaf ears, as Philomena suddenly and willingly became too hot for Celestia to handle (which was quite hot), and launched herself at Quackum again. At the same time, Quackum bit on Chrysalis' hoof, causing her to drop her duck in pain, and Quackum began quacking defiantly at Philomena. As both alicorns nursed their injuries, they soon realized that things were quickly getting out of hoof. "I don't think this was part of your plan, Tia!" "Nevermind that, Chrys, we need some help!" "Agreed, Lulu will know what to do!" It was then that Luna entered the dining room, and she took everything she saw as yet another prank ready to be played upon her. She quickly backed out of the room while yelling at the top of her lungs. "OH NO, I AM CERTAINLY NOT FALLING FOR THIS!" Celestia groaned as Philomena set fire to the table, forcing Quackum off of it with singed feathers, and tried to reason with her sister. "Lulu, wait, this isn't a prank!" Snorting, Luna still kept her distance away from the dining room, which was beginning to fill up with smoke that was drifting off into the hallway. "Likely story, Tia! Why is the dining room trashed and the birds fighting?! This is nothing more than elaborate prank upon me!" Chrysalis was hit by a wave of coughing due to the smoke from the table, and she wheezed before waving her hooves at Luna. "No it's not, Philomena and Quackum are just getting out of hoof, and are going to burn the castle down if we don't do something!" Luna narrowed her eyes at her sister, then looked over at Chrysalis, who was now trying to calm the birds down. "There is no prank set for me?" Nodding, Celestia offered her a slight smile. "None, Lulu!" Although still wary of her sister and Chrysalis' intentions, there was no doubting that the dining room needed to be saved. I need a vacation from all this madness. Luna cleared her throat, and levitated over her cellphone, dialing the emergency code for rescue ponies, nine-one-one. "Alright. Okay, now, let's stop those birds from destroying the private dining room, starting with the fire!" Author's Note Quack quack Quackum The dining room was just barely saved by the brave fireponies Quackum and Philomena are now kept seperate
I have to eat that cake, Lulu!I have to eat that cake, Lulu! You know, if something is beautiful, then ponies will cherish it, naturally. It also stands to reason that any destruction of something beautiful would make ponies cry; I am no exception to that rule. I've cried as the old castle in the Everfree was ruined in Luna's rampage, and I've mourned the loss of breathtaking works of art lost in the Canterlot museum of Art fire not too long ago. Yet, all of that seems pale in comparison to what I'm seeing right now...I just don't know what to do! Why, if I could call something perfect, this would be it! With a groan, Celestia tried to ignore the life sized cake of her student, Twilight Sparkle, which was currently on a massive plate in the grand dining room. It's so enticing to look at, and it must be amazing to the tastebuds! However, I must be strong! I must not eat the cake! I must at least wait for Twilight Sparkle to arrive first before snarfing down that delicious hunk of a cake! With a buttery resolve, Celestia tore her eyes away from the cake, and out towards the grand hall doors, where, in about five minutes, Twilight Sparkle and her friends would be arriving to celebrate the day where, by some extremely strange coincidence, they all got their cutie marks. To be fair, while Celestia was doing a decent job of not slobbering over the cake, she was quickly losing her mind over the remarks Chrysalis and Luna were making as they circled around the cake, admiring it out loud. Eyeing the cake with what one could consider to be a sultry gaze, Luna began the unintentional torturing to her sister. "Chrys, the cake looks magnificent! Truly, I have never seen such a creation of edible artwork in my life! Why, it probably tastes divine with all the preparation and care the chefs must have put into it!" Chrysalis eagerly agreed with what Luna said, though concentrating more on how realistic the cake looked like rather than the taste. "I couldn't agree more, Lulu. However, the way they managed to create a life sized, realistic looking cake of Twilight Sparkle is astounding! In fact, if I say so myself, if I tried to shapeshift into Twilight, the cake would look more realistic than me!" "Really?!" "Yes, look!" With a flash of green light, Chrysalis turned into an alicorn-sized Twilight Sparkle, who, upon closer inspection, did seem a little bit off, though Celestia couldn't tell if it was from the height or because of some other detail. Chrysalis cleared her throat, and spoke in a voice that was slightly off-pitch of the original Twilight's voice. That was probably what was off. "By my exact, perfect calculations, I deem this cake to be the most tasty cake ever created by the Canterlot chefs! In theory, that is. I require some of this cake in order to prove my findings right!" Luna was on the floor at Chrysalis' attempt to sound like Twilight, apparently laughing up a storm. "T-That's perfect, Chrys! T-That'd almost be exactly what Twilight would say!" Please...Shut up... Celestia moaned inwardly, her seemingly calm and friendly demeanor very carefully hiding the fact that she was feeling conflicted between wanting to strangle the two alicorns and crying out obscenities because she couldn't eat the cake yet. The pain, it's unbearable! I need to stay strong in the fact of such a worthy adversary, but I cannot do that when my allies backstab me like so! For Celestia, life wasn't about to make it easier for her, as Chrysalis called out to her. "Hey, Tia!" Uh oh. Leaving Luna to catch her breath, Chrysalis (who was still in Twilight's form) walked up to her, and placed a hoof over Celestia's shoulders as she sat down next to her. "What about you? What do you think about the cake?" Mother, give me strength. "It's very...Nice." Celestia didn't dare go into detail about the cake, as doing so would probably make her succumb to the very desirable cake. "Yes, it's very, very...Nice." Unfortunately for her, Chrysalis continued to press on. "Nice?! It's just nice?! Tia, this thing is beyond nice! It's amazing! indescribable! I might even say perfect! How is it just 'nice' to you?" Groaning, Celestia placed a hoof next to the base of her horn, trying to relieve herself of the headache that was building up. "I've...Eaten a lot of cakes in my time, Chrys. One more isn't...Really a new thing to me, no matter how...Good it looks." Managing to catch her breath, Luna strode over to the two, and sat down on on Celestia's other side, unable to believe that her sister had more or less said that this cake was just another cake. "Tia, this cake is magnificent, you cannot deny that! It cannot simply be...'Nice'! I agree with Chrys, you are deliberately not giving the cake enough justice! I mean, just look at it!" Luna grabbed her sister, and turned her around, holding her head so that Celestia could not look away from the cake. "Now tell me it's just 'nice' now, Tia, because it's certainly not just 'nice'!" Must...Be...Strong...OKAY, THAT'S DONE IT. No regrets! No mercy! No surrender! THAT CAKE IS MINE. "You two are infuriating! I have to eat that cake, Lulu! I no longer have the patience to wait!" Launching herself forward, she dived directly at the cake and began to eat it ravenously, with a ferocity that scared even Luna and Chrysalis, the latter of which turned back into their original form for fear that Celestia might mistake her for another realistic cake. Crumbs, frosting, and much more began to fly, and inwardly, Luna and Chrysalis' heart broke when they saw the beautiful cake get ravaged by Celestia. However, their safety was far, far more important, and slowly, they inched themselves towards the grand hall doors. Unfortunately, this was the time where Twilight and company decided to enter the hall. "Hello, Princ-" Almost immediately, their sights were set upon Celestia eating away at the cake, and Twilight herself began trembling at thoughts of her mentor suddenly casting a spell on her to turn her into an edible cake. After all, she turned her parents into plants, so it was most likely foals-play to turn her faithful student into a cake. Surprisingly, it was Pinkie Pie who spoke up first; while she enjoyed cake, what she saw was just disturbing to her. "Maybe...We should leave Princess Celestia alone..." Quick to agree with her was Rarity. "Indeed..." "That would be wise." All the ponies looked up at Princess Luna, who made a discreet hoof at her sister. "We shall...Celebrate this day elsewhere. Preferably at the mini-mall down the street that sells ninety-nine cent slurpees." Chrysalis nodded, holding up some coupons. "I got a two-for-one deal for all slurpees, so let's go!" All ponies at the scene began to leave the grand hall, leaving Celestia alone, who continued to eat the cake, happy that her torment was now over. Author's Note Celestia was suffering Twilight is scared I still believe alicorns have a soft spot for slurpees This story was made due to a comment by matt567890 that I found to be an amusing idea Go ahead, throw out a suggestion here or there, I might humor you and write a story about it, though it might not end up the way you think it will unless you are very specific about what happens, in which case I think it'd be better for you to write it yourself
Thankfully, I already don't remember this, Tia!Thankfully, I already don't remember this, Tia! I know I enjoy learning about things, it's just who I am! Knowledge, glorious knowledge, from everything and everypony! Sometimes they're not even ponies, but it's knowledge! Books, movies, newspapers, even that ad for plushies of me and my friends which I found to be slightly off detail of us! There is a lot of knowledge, and I love it! Which is why I'm near killing myself now by thinking this; I wish I DIDN'T know about this! Twilight Sparkle was currently with Celestia and Chrysalis in the royal library, and the topic that they were discussing was magic. While the unicorn was skeptical about having Chrysalis over, she realized that it would do no good to hold a grudge against her since she was now an official princess, and, in hindsight, she did ruin a good prank played on Cadence's wedding. So all was said and forgiven, though Twilight was still a bit wary of Chrysalis. "You're telling me that you can do that?!" The question was directed at Chrysalis, who nodded slowly. "Yes, it is a very powerful spell, but it is by no means perfect. Here, this is how it's done." Chrysalis levitated over some parchment where she began to write down the mechanics of the spell to a powerful if limited memory control spell. It was, however, not very practical, as Twilight saw from the notes that Chrysalis was jotting down. Beside Twilight, Celestia was raising a brow, concerned about what she was seeing. "Chrys, is this spell really safe for Twilight to learn? From what I can tell so far from what you've written down, it uses a lot of energy, goes off with a bang, and can cause permanent damage if not used correctly." "It's perfectly fine, Tia." Chrysalis continued to scribble her notes about the spell down, making sure to jot down even the most minor effects the spell could do; after all, spellcasting was never a perfect process, and spells were constantly wired and rewired to either put less strain on the unicorn (or alicorn), work more efficiently, or even perform a different task entirely. "It's just that this spell isn't wired to be the most efficient or safe thing around, as it was something I made up on the spot." That was horrifying to Twilight. "You used an untested spell on my brother?!" Chrysalis groaned, and set down the quill to look at the unicorn dead in the eyes. "Of course not! What do you take me for, a mad scientist?! I would never do something that would endanger a pony or changeling's life! I admit, my wording was not the best there, but I assure you it was not 'completely' made up on the spot. I simply took the idea of existing spells that dealt with memories and took only the good bits of wiring and combined them together in a logical if somewhat impractical manner. The result was a power memory control spell that made it possible to plant false memories into a pony's mind, though constant use of this spell did, as you saw, cause Shining Armor headaches. In any case, I'm done, I believe I've outlined the general spell as well as any effects you might have; I'm the only one to have cast this spell, so it might be different for you, no matter how powerful you are, Twilight." Twilight looked down at the notes Chrysalis had, and frowned as she saw the intricate yet seemingly simple framework of the spell. "This is...How did you even manage to get the spell to work within these limitations, Princess Chrysalis?" Being called princess by a pony that had learned to say her mentor's name without adding the title to it somewhat irked Chrysalis. "Please, Twilight, just Chrys will do. The reason why the spell even works with its obvious faults right now is because of the fact that I channel the spell over a long period of time; it's not meant for an immediate 'now' result like most unicorn magic is. Most changelings don't have the magic power to instantly get results like that, so we tend to use spells that work over a period of time; it's more time consuming, but we get just as good results as if we instantly made it so." "I see...Interesting." Twilight continued to study the notes for a little while longer, the beginnings of a new system creeping up inside her thought process. She levitated over a new piece of parchment and the quill that Chrysalis set down, then began to rewrite the spell. "The problem with this spell is that it is completely impractical to anypony or changeling because of the massive power required that very few unicorns or changelings would be able to output over the course of your written 'safe-zone' of every twelve hours before requiring to be cast on the subject again. Quite frankly I'm surprised that you managed to pull this off without being caught." "Well, you do have to admit, as a couple and a royal couple about to get married at that, you're able to take certain liberties and excuses, such as being able to get more cake and being allowed to leave to spend some time together. I took the latter option to recast the spell, though I agree, the 'safe-zone' I have created for this spell is not at all practical and would wear down a normal unicorn in about a week of sustained casting, and most likely less for my changelings." "Mhm, mhm..." Twilight continued to write down certain parts of the spell, skipping over some parts of it entirely, and adding new parts that Chrysalis would never have had thought of in the first place. The scritch scratch noise of the quill was all that was heard as Twilight continued to write out her version of the spell, with Chrysalis and Celestia watching her intently, both waiting to see what would be done. Eventually, Twilight finished off the newly revised spell with a flourish, and smiled. "There! I have reduced magic consumption by fifty percent, increased the potency of the memory control spell, and done away with the safe zone! It is now a spell that takes instant effect upon the subject!" Chrysalis was skeptical of this; after all, it was a very complicated spell, and as she browsed through the new spell system that Twilight had created for it, there was something off about it that Chrysalis couldn't place down. Unable to find it, she set down the parchment, and smiled. "Very good, Twilight! However, every spell is considered useless if it is not used. Come on, use it on me! We shall see what happens." "Are you sure? I mean, I did just make it just now..." "Twilight, you had my spell to base yours off on, and my spell didn't have too many negative downsides to it. Most likely all I'll get is a headache." Twilight looked over to her mentor, who nodded slowly. "She's right, Twilight, there's not much that needed changing with the spell, so the idea of hurting Chrysalis is virtually slim." "Well...Alright then." Twilight took one last look at her notes again, memorizing the spell system she created, and began gathering the magic needed to perform the spell. Sparks of magic flew from her horn and wrapped around Chrysalis' horn, orbiting it. It was about another five seconds before Twilight let go of the magic in her horn, and let fly with it. With a loud bang, Chrysalis was thrown backward and propelled through a bookshelf, causing screaming from the other patrons of the library and panicked running from the rest. After exchanging a look with each other, Twilight and Celestia ran over to Chrysalis, who was on top of a pile of books with a dazed expression on her face. Fearfully, Twilight looked up at her mentor, who was gently prodding Chrysalis. "I didn't think the spell would do that! I just don't know what went wrong, Celestia, I don't!" "Well, perhaps it's because of the fact that Chrysalis is a changeling, and as such created this spell to be specifically used for changelings. You are a unicorn, so you must have tried to rewrite the spell with unicorn wiring in mind when this spell does not use them. I suppose that's why there was such an explosive backlash." "That seems logical. I...Oh, she's waking up!" Indeed, Chrysalis was waking up, with a snort and shaking her head around. "Ow...What happened, Tia, Twilight? Why am I on top of a pile on books, and why are there ponies screaming and running around?" Celestia groaned, and began her explanation of what happened to Chrysalis, with Twilight offering little bits of information that Celestia didn't mention. When all was said, Chrysalis smiled, and got off the pile of books. "Thankfully, I already don't remember this, Tia! That's one heck of a memory loss spell Twilight put on me!" Author's Note I like thinking of spells like computer hardware or something Twilight has an oopsies Chrysalis doesn't remember any of this More of a chapter to explore what I think spellcasting goes through than humor Do I dare break the now fifty-three long combo chain of Tia!, Lulu!, Tia!, Lulu!, Tia!, etc. ?
I'll blast it down, Lulu!I'll blast it down, Lulu! There were many advantages to being an alicorn; you didn't have to eat or sleep much, had the power of both wings, magic, and strength, you were often pampered, and ponies looked up to you as a rolemodel. Of course, there were also downsides that came to being an alicorn; you couldn't fit into small places, you were always expected to work, you had to deal with the fact that some ponies had an unhealthy obsession with you, and you had to listen to ponies (or changelings, in Chrysalis' case) and their problems whenever you held court, and some of those problems could be very tedious indeed. The downsides, while few, are very taxing, and Luna was quickly learning just how tiring it could be, as she kept dozing off in the middle of her work. "Princess?" With a snort, Luna looked up towards the pony who said her name, which was one of her advisors, who had come along to check up on her progress. "Yes?" Her advisor looked at her with a concerned look on his face. "Erm...Are you feeling well, Princess? You keep dozing off, and the paperwork isn't any further along than it was two hours ago." Ugh...Dumb work...Can't I get some sleep? Even though I don't require much of it, I still need some, like every other pony. It took Luna a moment to think of a reply to her advisor that wasn't incredibly rude. Fortunately, she succeeded. "I am fine, I'm just...'off my game', as some ponies would say. Do not worry about me, I'll get this done soon." Her advisor shot her an unconvinced look, but he nodded, hoping that she would keep to her word. "If you say so, Princess." He left her study, and Luna looked down upon the paperwork that should have been finished hours ago; it was a request from the Apple family, and she was to decide if she was to grant it or not. They were requesting more bits to repair a few storerooms and barns around the farm, as well as equipment for easier apple harvesting. Although Luna would have liked nothing more than to destroy the farm and feel happy knowing that there was one less apple farm in Equestria, she couldn't do that without outraged ponies wanting a 'word' with her, and her sister would kick her rump if she so much as sneezed at the farm; neither could she deny the request, because it was well-thought and did not require too much to fund and provide for. Unfortunately, she was going to have to approve the request. Grumbling to herself, Luna stamped 'approved' on the request, and added her signature on it before her head hit the table, glad that she got that out of the way. Another bright and sunny day, for ponies to enjoy! Celestia smiled at the thought of ponies enjoying her sun; it was one of those things that she never tired of thinking about. Slurping her morning cup of coffee, she began to think about something else that disturbed her slightly. However, even my bright sun cannot erase the cold dread that grips at me. I had to move Lulu's moon to make way for my sun; I'm not sure what happened, but she can't possibly be that neglectant of her duties. Something must have happened. Coffee Joe must have noticed her anxiety, for he pushed another slice of coffee cake towards her. "Somethin' botherin' you, Princess?" "Hm? Oh, thanks for the cake! Yes, something is bothering me, though I'm sure it's nothing." In his time working at the castle, he knew that 'nothing' usually meant 'something crazy is about to happen'. Still, it just might be that she was telling the actual truth this time, so he simply nodded politely. "I see. Well, I'm going to go brew some more coffee, just leave the dishes there and I'll clean up once your done." "Thank you, Coffee Joe." I'll find out what's wrong with you yet, Lulu! ...Right after this cake. "Lulu? Lulu, are you in there?" Celestia knocked on her sister's door again, feeling impatience growing within her. She had waited outside Luna's room for awhile now, and she was getting annoyed as well as worried; after all, she was her sister. She motioned for the guards standing guard to move aside, and they did so quickly. You did not want to be next to an alicorn annoyed at her sister. Once they were out of the way, Celestia growled at the door. "I'm going to count to five, and if you don't open this door, I'll blast it down, Lulu!" No response graced her, and Celestia sighed as she gathered the magic in her horn. "Five." The door shattered from the force of the magical blast it received, and Celestia walked through the carnage she dealt. "Lulu? Are you even in here? I-" Her voice trailed off as she saw her sister at her study, drooling on what Celestia hoped wasn't an extremely important paper. "Seriously? Come on, I know you're a heavy sleeper, but this is just ridiculous!" Celestia didn't want her sister to wake up with a sore neck from sleeping in that position, so she lifted her sister up onto her back, and made the journey to her bed, with much groaning along the way. "You're not just only a heavy sleeper either, Lulu." She heard a faint murmur from Luna, and she couldn't help but smile, despite the way Luna had made her worry. "I love you too, Lulu." Celestia gently set her sister down in her bed, and pulled the covers up, tucking her into bed. As an afterthought, Celestia levitated a Rainbow Dash plushie into Luna's hooves, which was grasped at instinctively. Memories of her mother doing the same (minus the plushie) for her came by, and a single tear fell down her face as she gently stroked Luna's mane. "I'll take some of the paperwork away from you, Lulu, so this doesn't happen again." Looking up towards Luna's study, she made her way over, wondering what exactly she'd find there. "Hmm...A bit of...Actually, scratch that, a LOT of drool on this, but...Looks a request for more bits and equipment from the Apple family, and it's...Approved? My, my, Lulu...I didn't think you'd do this, out of all things." Celestia let out an amused chuckle before wiping away her sister's drool from the paper. Maybe I'll leave out a fried moon pie for you. Author's Note Poor Luna Yay Apple family Luna snuggles up with Rainbow Dash Fried moon pie
Happy hearth's warming eve, Tia!Happy hearth's warming eve, Tia! Hearth's warming eve; the time where ponies celebrated coming together to become what is now known as Equestria, spending time with family and friends, exchanging gifts (and kisses, if one was lucky) with each other, and enjoying the holiday spirit that seemed to be in the air. Chrysalis, however, wasn't enjoying the festivities as much as she should have been, mostly because she was fretting over the fact that she needed to send a gift to Celestia. Luna was easy; Chrysalis just bought some limited edition Hearth's warming eve holiday flavoured moonpies for her. Celestia, though, was the challenge. I'm not sure what would please Celestia...I understand that she likes cake, but she eats that every other day, so another cake wouldn't mean too much to her. She's already content with most physical needs, and I can't think of anything I could actually get her that she couldn't already get herself. Hm... Chrysalis was with Luna, and both were in the frosty castle gardens, taking a stroll through them. While it was argued that the royal gardens were the most beautiful thing in Canterlot in the summer, in the winter, it certainly didn't lose any of its grandeur by any means. Chrysalis was staring at one of the many frosted over stone statues before getting hit in the back of the head by a snowball. What th-?! Chrysalis turned her head around to pout at a grinning Luna, who had been quiet this entire time, making a snowball behind Chrysalis' back. "Ow! Lulu!" The alicorn rather maturely blew a raspberry at her. "It was only to be expected, Chrys!" Grumbling under her breath, Chrysalis straightened the scarf and beanie she was wearing, having been knocked slightly askew from the snowball. "Yeah, expected." There was a silence that stretched between the two, with Chrysalis continuing to look at the statues scattered around the garden. It was clear she was lost in thought, and Luna wanted to know what was troubling her friend. She slowly crunched through the frosty ground, ending up by Chrysalis' side with a slight frown on her face. "Is something wrong, Chrys? You're making me worry a bit." Despite the fact that Luna was probably the best absolute choice to go to for advice, Chrysalis hesitated before telling her what was on her mind. "I still need to get something for Tia, and I have no idea what that's going to be." Oh, is that it? That's nothing to worry about! Luna rolled her eyes, and punched Chrysalis on the shoulder playfully. "Well, you could always give a gift from the heart; it doesn't have to be something expensive, or even a true gift." Chrysalis punched her back, not happy with the advice she was given. "...I don't think I could do something like that, Lulu. It's different for you, you're her sister! You could give her a rabid rabbit and she'd be happy with it." Luna pressed up gently against Chrysalis' side, attempting to gain a little warmth as she was still feeling cold even through her warm winter jacket and scarf. "I actually did give her a rabid rabbit once; she said it was the thought that counts. Tia 'donated' the rabbit down to a pegasus family, if I remember correctly. I think the descendant of that rabbit is Angel Bunny, though that's another thing entirely. The point is, Chrys I don't think you should worry too much about getting a 'suitable' gift for Tia. After all, it's almost like you're family now anyway!" "Yeah, 'almost'." Chrysalis stiffened slightly as Luna pressed up against her, but didn't pull away from the sudden body contact. "I don't think I'll be able to find something with as much meaning like your wrapped up holiday themed Twilight plushie." I didn't expect that coming. Luna looked at Chrysalis in shock, slightly upset that her gift was so easily found out. "How did you know I was giving Tia a plushie?" "It's not that hard to figure out once you realize that Tia is a sucker for Twilight plushies, and the fact that the tag is sticking out." Oh... Luna groaned, and slapped a hoof to her head, immediately regretting it when she realized how cold the ground was, and the fact that she just rubbed snow on her face didn't help. "C-Cold...Ah, I knew I was forgetting something when I p-packed that up. Can we talk about this inside, Chrys, so I don't hit myself in the face with cold hooves?" Smirking at the lunar alicorn, Chrysalis nudged her towards the castle. "Alright, you silly." Immediately, Luna whined at being called silly. "I'm not a silly!" Ignoring her for the moment, Chrysalis strode into the castle, which had been decorated beautifully with ornaments hanging, candy horns being passed out, ponies running around everywhere, bringing food and friends along in preparation for the hearth's warming feast, the whole nine yards. Even with all this joyous spirit in the castle, it somewhat paled in comparison to the gardens, in Chrysalis' opinion. Still, she was glad to be inside, where it was warm, dry, and safe from snowballs. She discarded her scarf, beanie, and winter jacket onto a changeling, who then proceeded to take them to the laundry room after gathering up Luna's winter wear as well. The two alicorns wordlessly made their way to the massive hearth in the main, public dining room that was only used in feasts and holidays such as this one, and sat down in front of it, enjoying the warmth that it radiated along with a few other ponies that had were already there. A few minutes of sitting in front of the raging fire contained within passed before Luna spoke up lazily. "Chrys?" "Hm?" Luna didn't speak for awhile, busy as she was cuddling up closer to Chrysalis for more warmth. "Why not just give Tia a hug? Sometimes the simplest things are the best things to give to somepony." The simplest things, eh? A hug is one of them? "A hug, as a gift? Surely that can't be the only thing you expect me to give her." Luna looked up at the ceiling, and gave a smile as she saw a little cluster of mistletoe, just above them. "...Well, you could add a kiss under the mistletoe, under where we're sitting." "Oh, ew!" Chrysalis made a face, and would have attempted to move away from Luna if it weren't for the fact that she was so warm. Darn body heat. "I can't believe you'd actually suggest that, Lulu, much less point out the fact that we're underneath some right now." "Hey, it was worth a shot, playing matchmaker for my sister!" A new voice sounded out, disagreeing with Luna's exclamation. "You're a terrible matchmaker, Lulu." The two alicorns turned their heads around to see Celestia smiling at them, who then sat down on the other side of Chrysalis with a smile. "Hello, you two." Chrysalis turned around, and gave a nod at Celestia. "Hello Tia." Inwardly, she was scared; she still hadn't found a present for her yet! Luna hadn't really helped her, either, in trying to get a gift for her. "Tia!" Luna scrambled over to give her sister a hug, which was eagerly given back by her sister. Chrysalis watched the tender moment of sisterly bonding with a touch of jealousy. It's so simple for them...All they really need is each other. They don't need gifts, they just need each other's love...Heh, that's almost like us changelings. That was when she was surprised, once Luna untangled herself from Celestia. The white alicorn still had her hooves out, and she winked at Chrysalis. "Come on, Chrys; I know you haven't got a present for me. That's okay, though; all I need is a hug from a friend, and that's present enough." "I told you so!" Luna crowed, sporting a cheeky grin on her face. Ignoring what Luna said, Chrysalis walked over to the waiting alicorn with her hooves outstretched, and hugged Celestia, somewhat awkwardly, but it was a start. She felt a warm set of hooves wrap around her neck, and soon after, also felt a strong surge of love come from her. It tasted like friendship; warm, strong friendship, laced with cinnamon and very filling. Chrysalis pulled away slightly, only for Celestia's strong hooves to pull her back in tightly. "Happy hearth's warming eve, Chrysalis." "Happy hearth's warming eve, Tia!" Another set of hooves wrapped around her from behind, and from the smell of marshmallow, she assumed it was Luna, which was confirmed by her voice a moment later. "Group hug!" Author's Note Angel Bunny's rudeness has been passed down for generations Hearth's warming eve themed Elements of harmony, get yours today I know it's not winter anytime soon but I wanted to write something winter themed because it's so hot here
I miss her, Lulu!I miss her, Lulu! It's dark. You should be sleeping. Go to bed, Tia. I...just can't, though. Tonight...Is just one of those nights, I suppose. Oh, how I miss her so; I have to ask the question that I continue asking myself once in awhile, why did you leave us? Couldn't you have stayed with us a little longer? No answer came from the starry sky above her. A sigh escaped the pony, and she stared up at the moon, wondering if there were any answers up there. Celestia was currently located in the center of the castle gardens, remembering past memories, most of which were unpleasant. Her foal-hood had a few happy memories, yes, but they felt so few and far in-between as her mother did her best to help the ponies in the newly made Equestria before leaving the reins to her daughters. It was not a very peaceful time, as tempers were blown, words said that shouldn't have been, and Equestria very nearly fell apart just a mere week after it was formed. However, with Faust's support and guidance, they managed to pull through, just barely. When that happened, she left Equestria, but also left behind her two daughters, who would eventually become the princesses of Equestria. Celestia and Luna, as per their mother's wishes, took over in caring for Equestria as best they could, both waiting for the day when their mother returned. She never had, however. It's dark. You should be sleeping. Go to bed, Tia. That's what mother would have said. She would have made sure that I was sleeping, too, with a friendly threat of replacing my cake at snack time with bananas. Oh, mother... Celestia groaned, and her ears flattened as she looked down at the ground. There was always that time of the month where she just couldn't help herself, and the emotional strain of having to run a country and the aching pain in her heart for her mother just broke her in. It's just overwhelming, mother. I'm glad that nopony knows that I do this to myself, that nopony knows abou- "Sister, are you alright?" ...The universe must hate me tonight. Celestia looked up towards the sound of her sister's voice, and saw a concerned looking Luna watching her for a moment. Without replying to her, Celestia looked back down at the ground, hoping that Luna got the hint and left her alone. She didn't. Luna sat down next to her sister, with a wing wrapped around her for comfort. It didn't help Celestia much, but she did take some comfort in the fact that her sister was there with her. It still, however, begged the question of why her sister wasn't attending to her duties. She had expected Chrysalis out of all ponies (or changelings, if she wanted to get technical about it) to find her, not her sister. "Lulu...Why are you here? Don't you have your duties to attend to?" Her sister didn't answer immediately to her question. Instead, she reached up with a hoof, wiping away at the tears on her face. I don't even remember crying... Luna continued to wipe at her sister's face diligently, with neither of them speaking. It was only once Celestia's eyes were moderately dry that Luna spoke. "My duties can wait, Tia, for you; they are of less importance than the distress my sister is going through. Tia...Are you thinking about mom?" At that, Celestia gave forced, choked laughter, and turned her head to look at her sister directly in the eyes. "...Was it really that obvious, Lulu?" "...Sometimes, Tia, when I look out from my balcony on certain nights, I see you alone in the gardens. I never bothered to check on you since it seemed like you were doing something privately, but I'm glad my curiosity got the best of me this time." Luna's hooves wrapped around her sister in a tight embrace, which was hesitantly returned by Celestia. "Not much makes you sad, and the only thing I could possibly think of that you could be sad over is mom." "I miss her, Lulu! I miss her so much!" Unable to contain herself any longer, Celestia began sobbing onto her sister's shoulder. Luna, having expected as much to happen, began to hum a lullaby that their mother always sang to them whenever they refused to go to sleep, and gently patted Celestia, trying to calm her down. Slowly, Celestia's sobs reduced in force, giving Luna a chance to speak over her crying. "I miss her too, Tia...You know what she'd say, though. She'd tell us to stop being such a big baby, to take responsibility of guiding Equestria to harmony, and remember her fondly." "I-I know...I just...Miss her...W-Why did she have to l-leave us?!" There was a pause as Luna tried to find an answer. Their mother never did leave them a reason as to why she left, so it was all up to speculation as to why she did. "I...Cannot say, Tia. I just know that mother would not want us to cry over her...She'd want us to remember her with happy memories." After a few quiet minutes, Celestia slowly pulled away from Luna, with a slight frown on her face. "I-It's not that easy, Lulu...It's not easy at all..." "We do the best we can, Tia. It's all we can do, and at least we have each other. Chrys, too, even though you obviously don't see her as anything more than a friend." "...W-What? What's that supposed to mean?" Luna smiled slightly, with a mischievous wink. "If it floats, it can ship!" There was a moment of silence as Celestia tried to comprehend what her sister just said, then sighed, rising up to her hooves slowly. "I...Don't know what you just said, Lulu, but I think I don't want to know. I should probably starting heading to bed now." Luna nodded, knowing full well her sister sometimes liked to stay up late. "Get some rest, Tia." One of Celestia's hooves began rubbing at her eyes, in an attempt to dry them. "I will. Thanks, Lulu; for helping me; I imagine I'd have stayed here the whole night, and would have been cranky in the morning." Luna rose up, patting gently at her right shoulder, which was absolutely soaked in Celestia's tears. Quite the waterworks you have, sister. "Everypony needs help. Especially a fat flank like you!" Here we go... Celestia pouted, and lightly bumped her rump against her sister (which nearly shoved Luna completely over). "You take that back, Lulu! I'm not fat!" After regaining her sense of balance, Luna blew a raspberry at her sister. "Nope! That shove just proved my point!" Unknown to the two bickering alicorns making their way back to the castle, a pair of eyes were watching them; the owner of those eyes smiled, glad to see them happy and bubbly as ever after that small moment of insecurity. "Stay strong, Tia, Lulu. You might just see me again soon enough." The words were whispered in the wind, and just as quickly, the alicorn that whispered them left Equestria, as she was called elsewhere to tend to. Author's Note At least add some backstory even though it really isn't necessary because I need a basis to go off of Luna still tries to ship Chrysalis and Celestia together in a sinking boat No Faust is not the character I mentioned earlier that would be joining Celestia, Chrysalis and Luna
That's nice, Lulu!That's nice, Lulu! Chrysalis was humming to herself as she sat down on her bed. Quackum was currently with another pony, who was her designated caretaker when Chrysalis wasn't around to take care of her. While originally apprehensive of the idea of another pony taking care of her duck, she had learned to trust in this caretaker, especially after seeing who it was. In fact, that very caretaker was coming along any moment now... A faint knocking on her door caused Chrysalis to smile. Ah. She arrives here at last. Striding over to her door, Chrysalis took a small moment to compose herself before opening the door, revealing Quackum perched upon Fluttershy's head. "Hello, Fley Truths. I trust that Quackum has not been difficult for you?" In Ponyville and certain trips to Canterlot, Fluttershy was just the shy animal caretaker most ponies saw her as. However, if she was needed in a meeting (which was very often, considering she funded quite a bit of projects in rural areas and certain other plans regarding wildlife) or something else that required her presence for whatever reason, she came to Canterlot as the mysterious Fley Truths, the quiet yet fifth richest and most influential pegasus aristocrat in Equestria, who could almost never be found unless Princess Celestia herself requested her presence. However, she made quite sure that if her friends in Ponyville ever chanced upon her in Canterlot, they would have never known that it was her on a first glance. This process was a very lengthy one, but it involved dyes, a simple alteration to her voice via a very tight-lipped unicorn, changing her mane style, and clothes, to name a few of her procedures. Instead of a naked, buttery yellow pegasus with a pink mane, there was a now snow white pegasus with a flowing light yellow mane, styled in a way that simply spoke elegance yet seemed practical (while also not being similar at all to her usual hairstyle), along with a dress that wasn't too overly flashy but still with that look that would stand out just slightly in a crowd. This, in front of her, was Fley Truths, the original form of Fluttershy. "Not at all, Princess Chrysalis, Quackum behaved herself quite well, if I say so myself." Gone, too, was Fluttershy's hesitance to speak up; she now spoke firmly, with a smile, and with confidence behind her words. "She is a very great duck, so you better be taking good care of her when I'm not doing it." Quackum quacked, most likely at the compliment, and jumped off of Fley Truths' head to land on her owner's head. "Of course, Fley Truths, you have my word that Quackum is under great personal care. Now, Princess Celestia wants you to join her for a meet involving you, your projects, Ponyville, and the builders guild." Immediately, Fley Truth's smile turned upside down into a frown, and she sighed as she ran a hoof through her mane, mostly at the spot where Quackum was sitting on just a moment ago. "They're still trying to get clearance to clear the Everfree? Those ponies..." Fley Truths left Chrysalis, muttering about how selfish some ponies could be. Not halfway down the hall, she was met with Luna. "Greetings, Princess Luna." Fley Truths bowed low, and Luna returned the bow, though it was not as low as Fley Truths'. "Good day to you, Fley Truths! I trust everything is going well?" The pegasus shook her head, and pointed at Chrysalis with a hoof. "Princess Chrysalis has told me that Princess Celestia wishes me to be present for a meeting regarding the builders guild and the Everfree; they still want to clear it for some project of their that clearly conflicts with one of my projects, and I have to defend it today, it seems." A look of remorse was on Luna's face as she looked out towards the general direction of where the Everfree was. "Ah, yes, the Everfree forest would be something I would dearly miss if it was cut down. I should really take a stroll through it someday; even though it probably hasn't changed much, it would be nice to seem the old castle ruins again in my free time. Do try to convince them not to cut it down, will you? It's one of my favorite places." Fley Truths reached inside her dress to pull out a small sheet of paper, with many, many names already written upon it, all of whom had exceptional standing in Canterlot and were very powerful. She also procured a pen. "I can do better than that; if you sign here, I'll have written proof that you yourself do not want the Everfree cleared, and that might give me a little more leverage over the builder's guild that these names may not be able to provide me." "Very well." Luna levitated the offered pen up, and signed her name clearly on one of the few spaces left on the paper. Fley Truths nodded, and after she packed everything back up within the folds of her dress, she walked past Luna. Chrysalis had watched the exchange with interest, and as Luna walked towards a now curious Chrysalis, she spoke. "You actually like the Everfree, Lulu?" "Of course, Chrys! Why, it's amazing! All that wild, untamed magic in such a heavily dense forest is remarkable! You also can't forget that it's where Tia and I used to live. It's a shame ponies want to clear it." "That's nice, Lulu! Though...I have to ask, why did you chose the Everfree, out of all places to build your first castle in? It doesn't seem like the kind of place you'd want to live in, given the choices in Equestria." Chrysalis stepped aside, and Luna entered Chrysalis' room. The two alicorns wordlessly sat down across from each other, and after a short moment of silence, Luna began her explanation. "Well, the Everfree at the time wasn't as wild or filled with that much magic as it is now. Quite a few centuries ago, it was just a forest, though with a rather curious amount of magic power laced throughout the area. Why? I'm afraid even I don't know the answer to that, but the presence of magic nearby seemed to be a good place to build the castle, since this particular magic was easy to shape by our spell-casters and ourselves, which intrigued my sister and I. Heck, even earth ponies and pegasai could use the magic! We created a settlement, a small one, mind you; it was supposed to be nothing more than a small research outpost. Over time, that settlement seemed to make way for a town, a city, a fortress, and then it finally stopped at a castle, surrounded by a small legion of homes and businesses. More and more ponies were hearing wonderful things about the Everfree castle, how it was a center of trade, how safe it was, the amazing magic in the air; it was where everypony wanted to go, so, everypony did go. "Now, you're probably curious about this magic; it was in the air, faint, but rather noticeable. The magic also manifested itself in a physical form, quite unlike anything I've seen before. If you merely thought about magic, and held a hoof out, a small blob of 'magic' would appear on it. The color of this magic blob varied between the ponies that gathered it. While unicorns could more easily gather this magic, they could not gather it as much as an earth pony could, or be able to get higher 'quality' magic, which was in the air. All three races benefited from this magic because it had special properties; you could make medicine with this magic, it was easier to shape than clay, making it ideal for construction and statues, and it made for some very, very durable armor; in fact, Tia's crown is made of only the finest magic gathered there." Chrysalis wasn't expecting a history listen on the Everfree, and she gently picked up Quackum from her head, and set her on the ground, where she began looking for food. "Well, that was something I didn't know. Physical magic; that seems like something many, many ponies would be interested in, especially unicorn scientists. What do you think about the magic in the forest today?" "Sadly, I cannot be certain, what with my last visit being when I tried to bring eternal night, but from the few minutes I've been in the forest, the magic has increased exponentially. While this is a good thing, the magic located in the forest has now attracted the attention of many monsters; I doubt a pony could gather magic in the forest without predators noticing the sudden drain of magic in the area, and they would be drawn to the spot in moments. It's just as well, really; the technique has most likely been lost through history to our little ponies, and I don't think I want any aristocrats to try and make an even bigger profit then they already have on this." "Ah, I see. Hmm...Do you think we could leave and go visit the forest for a moment, to show me this magic and to give you a chance to walk around the Everfree again? We can dump our work on Tia and Moonie." "You're evil, Chrys. I'm in!" Author's Note Fluttershy babysits Quackum Chrysalis and Luna talk about the Everfree forest More backstory, yeah, because I wanted to write something about the Everfree and I couldn't think of anything humorous
Chrysalis is my enemy, Tia!Chrysalis is my enemy, Tia! One downside to finally being my own alicorn is the fact that ponies think I'm the long-lost sister of Lulu and Tia. Though...Once you think about it, since I was an alternate persona created by Lulu, technically, Lulu would be my 'mother'...Oh, ew, ew, no, Faust forbid, that's disgusting! Nightmare Moon gagged at the thought, causing Celestia to turn her head around in confusion and worry. "Is something wrong, Moonie?" Don't let your mind wander again...I don't need those mental images. "N-Nothing you need to worry about, Tia. Just something that crossed my mind." I wish it hadn't. A confused Celestia studied Nightmare Moon for a moment before continuing to move onward. "...If you say so." The two alicorns continued to make their way to Twilight's former living quarters, which were to be Nightmare Moon's permanent residence within the castle. It was dark, so it was almost impossible to see the other alicorn in the night. The thought of her slinking away suddenly worried Celestia slightly, but so far, her fears were for naught. "I have to say, Moonie, I can't say I was happy to see you-" "Naturally, Tia, naturally; after all, I was Lulu's downfall and the reason why you two have been separated for a thousand years. Oh, and the reason why your room always smelled like moldy cheese after a long day of court. I don't regret that, though." Celestia wasn't expecting Nightmare Moon to interrupt her and state exactly why she didn't have a good first impression of her, so she was a bit lost before she found the words she wanted to say. "...Right. It's just so weird, seeing you here as a princess among us. I would have thought you'd have tried to take over Equestria and proclaim yourself queen instead of siding with us and sharing power between us all. Or, at least give me a hard time." "The way I figure it, Tia, as long as I get to exercise some power and don't get locked up somewhere for a thousand years, I'll be fine with it. Besides, I'd rather get the respect from ponies without making them fear me; not only would that be far better for my image, but it also feels...Nice. It's quite different, yet feels...Right. Also, don't think you're off the hook; I'm still going to give you a hard time, it'll just be a lot tamer than what I did long ago." Darn. "Well, that makes sense, I suppose. Just don't over-do it on the pranks and stuff; I get enough of that already." With a little spark of magic, Celestia opened up the door to Twilight's former room, and coughed as a wall of dust descended upon the two. "I knew I should have asked ponies to come in here and dust the place at least once a week." Nightmare Moon fanned a particularly stubborn dust bunny away from her face as she took a look around the area. "This is where I'm residing in?" "Yes; it's not much, but that's because Twilight was never one for fancy furniture and the like." "It matters not; I shall personalize this room with my own additions soon enough. Where are you and Lulu residing?" "If you go down the hallway to your left and take the steps up to the northern tower, that is where Luna resides. If you travel to the right hallway and up the southern tower, my chambers are located there. If you go downstairs one floor and past the mail district, there is a door guarded by two changelings; that is where Chrysalis lives. Now-" At the mention of Chrysalis' name, Nightmare Moon turned around to face Celestia, once peaceful (if bored looking) face now contorted into furious anger. "Chrysalis! That wretched bug resides in this castle?! Show me where she is and I'll tear her forgiveness from her body!" Celestia was not expecting the harsh words to come out from Nightmare Moon's mouth, and she held up her hooves defensively, indicating that Nightmare Moon went too far. "Whoa, whoa! Moonie, calm down! Calling ponies names and giving out threats isn't going to help you in today's world!" "I will NOT calm down, Tia, and I will call Chrysalis whatever I please, as well as whatever I intend to do to her! She has sullied my name, and I demand an apology from her!" Please, Faust, make this situation not impossible for me to resolve... With a groan, Celestia sat down on one of Twilight's study chairs, immediately regretting the decision as even more dust went up into the air from the action. "I'm so getting ponies to dust this place up...Anyway, what did Chrys do to you, Moonie, that makes you feel this way?" Two days ago, about seven hours after Nightmare Moon separated from Luna's mind Nightmare Moon hummed to herself softly as she took a stroll throughout the castle, impressed by the level of detail and the designs that went along with it. It was truly something that she could appreciate, especially the castle gardens. Now that is what every garden should aspire to be like. Nightmare Moon was currently overlooking the gardens from a window, and the sunset just made it all the more beautiful. I never did stop to smell the roses; perhaps, if I took a moment to look at the smaller things in life, I'd have saved Luna and I a thousand years in the moon. "Oh, hi!" Startled from her thoughts, Nightmare Moon turned around, scowling. Her face, however, was soon contorted with confusion, as she saw a weird bug-like alicorn approach her. That's...New. "My name is Chrysalis, but you can call me Chrys. What's your name?" What a strange looking alicorn. Must be a foreign dignitary of some far off land; I'd best not insult her in any way, if I don't want Lulu or Tia coming down hard on me. "It's Nightmare Moon, however, Lulu and Tia seem to have taken to calling me 'Moonie'..." Looking over at a suddenly apprehensive Nightmare Moon, Chrysalis nodded slowly. "Ah, I see. The nickname fits you well. Moonie, I'd stay and chat a little bit more, but the work just keeps piling up! I'm going to have to take care of it before I do anything else, so, take care of yourself, fattycakes!" WHAT?! DID SHE JUST CALL ME FAT?! Nightmare Moon watched as Chrysalis walked away, humming a little tune to herself. HOW DARE SHE?! IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FACT THAT SHE WAS A GUEST HERE IN THIS CASTLE, I'D SMITE HER ON THE SPOT! ...That, and I don't want to clean up the mess I'd make. "She called me fattycakes!" Judging by the way Nightmare Moon disdainfully spat Chrysalis' name (quite literally, in fact), she seemed to take it as a serious offense. Celestia eyed the black alicorn's body, and while she had some fat in...Certain areas, it certainly wasn't something to worry too much over. Nightmare Moon noticed this, and frowned at Celestia, expecting another comment about how fat she was. She was not expecting Celestia's response. "...What's the problem with that? Lulu calls me fat-" Nightmare Moon cut off Celestia once again with a snort. "Lulu, calling you fat, and you're okay with it?! What kind of sister are you, taking insults from your younger sibling?!" Celestia was getting annoyed with Nightmare Moon cutting her off, but she needed to endure this in order to find out why she hated Chrysalis. "I'm the kind of sibling that can tolerate what her sister says. While it annoys me, I know she's just joking-" Nightmare Moon stopped her right at 'joking', unable to comprehend the fact that Luna called her sister fat as a joke, of all things. "She calls you fat and-" "Will you stop interrupting m-" Nightmare Moon yelled over Celestia's voice. "NO I WILL NO-" "OH COME ON MOONIE, LET ME TALK!" "...Fine." An irritated Celestia began the explanation. "...I can see you have a lot to learn, like Luna does. Calling somepony fat is rude, yes, but it isn't enough to warrant the death penalty, which, may I also tell you, was ruled out for everything except the most severe cases." "What?! She insulted my beautiful body, and you expect me to let it go?!" "...Yes. besides, a little fat on a pony never hurt them...I mean, I don't want my ponies to be fat, but if I had to chose between fat ponies and starving ponies, I'd rather go with fat ponies; at least it means that there's food around for ponies to enjoy." Nightmare Moon sighed, upset over the fact that she couldn't smite Chrysalis and not get into trouble for it. "Well, darn, she would have made a nice trophy on the wall over there." "Moonie!" Author's Note Is Nightmare Moon technically Luna's daughter Nightmare Moon doesn't like Chrysalis Fattycakes
Just stop, Lulu!Just stop, Lulu! I'm not sure what to think of this. On one hoof, I'm alone, with Lulu. On the other hoof, I'm alone, with Lulu. This should be pretty...Interesting, to say the least. A very apprehensive Chrysalis was in Luna's room, wondering why the lunar princess wanted to talk with her in private. She was supposed to be getting her sleep in preparation for a meeting called by Fley Truths about the changeling and pony public relations problem that had stirred up in Ponyville, at least, before Luna summoned her to her room. Why, the messenger didn't know, so it was probably something very serious indeed. Though, she couldn't fathom what, since Luna was currently smiling like she won the lottery (which was probably a very poor comparison, really; they got all the bits they ever needed in the treasury, so there wasn't really a point in getting anymore bits). Nothing was said for awhile, which made Chrysalis uncomfortable; by now, Luna should have said something, but instead, she continued to grin at her, as if expecting her to ask a question. Deep breath, Chrys. Now, ignore how creepy Lulu looks like right now and ask why you're here. "Why are you so happy, Lulu, and why did you call me over?" Luna gleefully clapped her hooves together. "I've finally figured out how to ship you two together!" Her words only had the effect of confusing Chrysalis even more than when she had first entered her room.. Huh. Ship? Together? What? Is she using 'ship' in a different context? "What are you talking about, Lulu? What's this 'ship'?" Luna gasped, holding a hoof up to her chest. "Isn't it obvious?! Why, you and Tia, of course, shipping off together in a sinking ship being shipped off to immortalize your shipping legacy as the greatest ship to have ever existed in the history of shipping! Ship, ship, ship! We need more shipping!" You aren't making any sense whatsoever and quite frankly you are also beginning to scare me with your insistence on using the word 'ship' and its other forms of said word extensively. "I still don't know what you mean by 'ship' and applying that word to me and Tia. What the heck do you mean by ship, Lulu?" "You really don't know what I'm talking about?! Well, at least I can give an example about what will happen eventually when you two get shipped together! It'll be the greatest thing ever!" Luna's horn lit up, and brought up what looked like two miniature ponies. Upon closer inspection, Chrysalis saw it was Celestia and herself, and quite well done, as well. Unfortunately, her admiration for the miniatures was ruined as Luna then brought them together, making kissing noises before giggling. "Ship! Together! You two! Forever and ever in love! Shipping off into the great unknown!" At the mentioning of the word 'love', Chrysalis recoiled as if struck, and stuck her tongue out at Luna. "Whaaaaaaat?! Why?! I don't even like Tia like that!" Snorting, Luna brought up a little scene that she saw before, which, to her, was evidence that these two were destined to be shipped together. "Oh, but you do! I've seen you back away and watch her sway her rump every time she walks seductively to a piece of cake!" You watched that scene out of context, Lulu. "That's because I don't want to get hit by her rump and get sent flying across the room! You know she could break this castle down by smashing herself against it." Luna rolled her eyes, easily dismissing that as nothing more than denial of an obvious crush. "What about the time where you two shared a cuddle in front of the hearth without me?!" You've got to be kidding me. "It was cold and she suggested the idea first, not me!" "Likely story! How about the time where you two were sharing food with each other?" "Uh...What does sharing food have to do with love?" "Oh, oh, you can't hide from this one! That plushie that Tia gave you, it was of herself! She gave you a plushie of herself!" ...Hmm. Chrysalis had no reply to that, which only seemed to encourage Luna. She began detailing how this 'shipping' would work, what the public opinion would be like, as well as pulling up graphs, charts, and so much more out of nowhere, reinforcing the fact that she was very, very serious about 'shipping' them together. It's amazing how much effort Lulu has put into all this. Luna continued to drone on and on about the importance of them being shipped, and Chrysalis made an attempt to tune her out. It worked, mostly; the subject was interesting at times, so Chrysalis couldn't tune it out entirely, to her misfortune. A lazy look at the clock nearby scared Chrysalis; the meeting was about to happen in five minutes! She had actually listened to Luna rant on about shipping for the past seven hours! For the love of... Seeing as Luna was probably going to continue on for a few more hours and possibly take weeks to explain if she didn't do something, Chrysalis decided on interrupting her harshly. "As much as I want to hear you talk about 'shipping', I have a meeting I have to go to in five minutes, so I'll just say this; seriously Lulu, I have no romantic interest in your sister!" She drives a hard bargain, I'll give her that! "What about the time you two 'accidently' bumped into each other and kissed?!" "T-That was an actual accident!" Luna noticed that Chrysalis was now red in the face, and she smiled. "You're blushing! That means you like her!" "I-I'm blushing because you keep e-embarrassing me with past memories that don't need to be brought up again! Just stop, Lulu! I-I don't need you trying to pair me up with your sister!" "It's soooooo cute though! You two would make a great couple, the greatest ship ever!" "Ugh!" Chrysalis groaned as she covered her eyes with her hooves, wanting her blush to disappear. "Do I have to repeat myself?! I don't have a crush on Tia!" The little miniatures of Chrysalis and Celestia continued to bump into one another, as Luna winked at the real Chrysalis. "You don't have to lie to me, Chrys! I know you're just trying to hide it from me! Why, just let my plan go smoothly sometime over the next few days, and I tell you, you'll be kissing Tia in no time!" "I told you I-" "Ah, ah, no need to thank me! Now run along, Chrys, Lulu has some work to do to set up the perfect date, and you must go to your meeting! The shipping must commence, and nothing will stop me!" Luna grabbed Chrysalis, and before the other alicorn knew what was happening, was promptly forced out of Luna's room. A flustered Chrysalis stared at the lunar alicorn, who winked at her before closing the door. Afterwards, Chrysalis looked over towards the two guards outside her door, and frowned. "Say nothing about this." The two guards both threw her a salute, though the guard on the right was grinning widely. "Matchmaker Luna, eh?" "I sincerely hope that she fails in her 'mission' to 'ship' me with Tia." Chrysalis walked off, wondering what Luna was planning on doing. Author's Note Luna insists on shipping Chrysalis doesn't know what to make of it Alicorn miniatures I understand that Luna seems a bit out of character, but in my defense I'll just make up the excuse of her being enthusiastic about pairing Chrysalis and Celestia together
This is why we have problems, Tia!This is why we have problems, Tia! Cadence's hooves gently crushed the snow on top of the concrete path she was walking on that was inside Canterlot's public park. Accompanying her was Chrysalis, who was now clad in a newly bought black and green coloured scarf that was very fitting for her. The two had engaged in a small shopping spree with each other, especially when they went to the food court and utterly decimated the slurpee machine and a few pounds of fries. Fun times were had all around, and they were ending it with a walk through the chilly, snowy park. "Well, today was fun, Chrys!" The alicorn to her left nodded with a content smile, and adjusted her scarf slightly. "Indeed, Caddy! I haven't had this much fun in awhile, other than the time Blueblood and I prank called Tia. It makes you wonder why we hardly get any time for ourselves and each other." With a sigh, Cadence regretfully had to acknowledge the fact that their time together was almost over. "Yeah; unfortunately, we probably won't be able to spend another day like this with each other for a long, long time. It's pretty dumb, really; we have immense power that our ponies have come to respect and even fear, and yet we aren't able to really do much outside our work since there's so much of it. You'd think ponies would be a little more sensible and not dump all that work on us; we need breaks, too!" Sighing, Cadence drank in the last dregs of her slurpee before tossing it at a tree, which it bounced off of, orbited Chrysalis' head three times, attacked a flock of ravens and narrowly missed crushing a snail before it flew into a nearby garbage bin. "Ten points. Our little ponies, or, changelings, in your case, always seem to have some kind of problem that they can't fix themselves, or hoof over some kind of political thing that needs our approval. While I love them, they can also be rather...Dependent on us to set things right for them." "You're telling me; some of the things I've had to do for my changelings leave me wondering what would happen if I wasn't here to assist them in such matters." Chrysalis tossed her slurpee forward, bouncing off a very startled bird, rolling across the ground and then flying up into the air at near sonic rainboom speeds before landing squarely on Celestia's horn. "Twenty points, beat that. Hello, Tia, Moonie!" Moonie? What? Cadence looked over to see a suddenly agitated Celestia clad in a pink and white scarf pulling the unfortunately empty slurpee drink from her head, and... Oh my gosh, it really is Nightmare Moon, it's NIGHT, MARE, MOOOOOON! Nightmare Moon! Wearing a white scarf that contrasted her dark coat perfectly! Actually here! Cadence was internally screaming, and her screaming only intensified as she realized that her hooves were locked into place, rendering her unable to run. MOVE! I HAVE TO MOVE, NOW! COME ON, GET WITH THE PROGRAM, HOOVES! HASTA LA VISTA! ¡AY CARAMBA! MAMMA MIA! She looked over at Chrysalis, and to her horror, she didn't seem surprised at all to be meeting Nightmare Moon! Celestia was the first to exchange words as she removed the slurpee drink from her horn, and the pitiful gaze she shot at Chrysalis could destroy worlds. "Chrys, you do not tease me by throwing an empty slurpee on my horn! You know how much we love them!" Fortunately, Chrysalis wasn't fazed by Celestia. "That's why I did it, Tia! It was priceless, the look on your face when you suddenly got all excited for a slurpee that wasn't there!" "You little..." The two exchanged friendly (or not so friendly, depending if you saw playfully smacking each other with frying pans friendly or not) banter that was tuned out as Cadence saw Nightmare Moon level her gaze upon her. "Who might this be, Tia?" Please don't please don't please don't- "Oh, that's Cadence." Celestia dodged an incoming strike from Chrysalis, and blew a raspberry at her. "Nice aim, Chrys!" "Oh, you'll thank my aim when I'm done with you, Tia!" The 'fighting' intensified to include more kitchen appliances, including, but not limited to pots, can openers, plates, whisks, and blenders. Cadence, meanwhile, was watching Nightmare Moon slowly stride towards her, with a neutral expression on her face. Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic, Nightmare Moon is walking over to you...She might be merciful...Don't think about it too much... Her body threatened to betray her, but she tried so hard not to let her wits escape her. Nightmare Moon stopped in front of Cadence, hesitating. The poor alicorn in front of her was just oozing fear out, and she didn't blame her. A simple greeting might scare her off, but there wasn't much she could do, so she just tried to sound as soft as she possibly could. "Well, hello, Cadence. My name is Nightmare Moon. I'm pleased to me-" Cadence couldn't hold herself back any longer due to Nightmare Moon's close proximity to her, and promptly screamed something incoherent as she threw her hooves around a startled Nightmare Moon in an almost-crushing bear hug. This had the effect of causing Nightmare Moon to fall to the ground, taking Cadence with her, who didn't seem to mind. Nightmare Moon did, though. What in the blazes is this Cadence doing?! "What th-" A squeal for Cadence cut Nightmare Moon's words off as Cadence somehow managed to hug Nightmare Moon even harder, and she swore that she heard a bone crack from the tremendous strength of Cadence's hug. "Oh, my, gooooosh, it really is you, you are the Night, mare, Moon! You're so famous for creating the gothic scene back then, and I thank you soooooo much for it! You revolutionized the teen scene in Equestria like nopony else has done before! " Unfortunately, Nightmare Moon had absolutely no idea what Cadence was talking about, so she responded with the only thing she could say in a situation like this, which was also probably the worst thing she could say. "...What?" A sharp gasp escaped Cadence, and she immediately went into a short and frantic explanation, letting go of Nightmare Moon in the process, who was never more thankful to be able to breathe and never as scared for her body structure. "You don't know?! Since you were sent to the moon, teenagers saw your dark clothing, makeup and piercings as a way to rebel against their parents, so they dyed their coats black, wore piercings, performed rituals, and lots and lots of dark and gloomy stuff in order to annoy their parents and proclaim themselves different! Though, looking back on it now, since so many ponies were doing it, they kinda all looked the same..." Nightmare Moon slowly stepped away from Cadence as she looked over at Celestia and Chrysalis, the former of which was sighing and lowering her frying pan as she remembered Cadence's 'phase' into that. "Yeah, I remember when Cadence picked up on that goth trend...By Faust, that is not something I want to go through again; she was an absolute terror to raise." Cadence stepped up towards Celestia, with a scowl on her face. "You were just being a hater tater alligator, Tia! You wouldn't understand the importance of goth during that time, and ponies still dress up in gothic fashions today! Even I dressed up like this because you wouldn't let me express my freedom when you raised me." An exasperated looking Celestia responded to the claim of not letting Cadence express herself with a flat tone of voice. "You dressed up like that because I took away your dessert privileges away for a week." "Which means I was justified in embracing the goth culture! Oh, and, I set fire to that icky pillow cover you bought me." That was something Celestia wasn't expecting, judging by the immensely loud voice she screamed in. "YOU DID WHAT? I MADE THAT WITH MY OWN BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS! MOSTLY TEARS!" Cadence gagged, and shuddered at remembering the 'gift' she was given; a small pillow cover that was very similar to Celestia's mane, in both looks and how it felt. "That's why I didn't want it! That's such a literal gift, auntie, and that was disgusting!" "It was an expression of speech that has nothing to actually do with blood, sweat, and tears, and it most certainly was not meant to be taken literally!" "...You need to explain things better next time. This is why we have problems, Tia!" Chrysalis rolled her eyes as Celestia and Cadence continued to bicker, and nudged Nightmare Moon gently, getting her attention. "What do you want, Chrys?" "Just wanted to tell you something. You know, we can leave, if you're feeling uncomfortable. Cady likes to argue a lot and Tia is very stubborn, so they'll probably be here for a few hours before they realize that we're gone, and follow us back into the castle. It's getting cold, and I'm not going to stay out there with them along with the chance of somehow getting dragged into all of this. That happens a lot." Nightmare Moon swapped her gaze over to the two alicorns, who seemed to be strangling each other. "Shouldn't we stay nearby, though, in case they try to kill each other, like, right now? I'm pretty sure that's not safe" Chrysalis shook her head as she looked into her shopping bags for a candy bar. "Nah. They'll be fine." A doubtful Nightmare Moon began walking towards the castle, accompanied by Chrysalis. "If you say so." The two alicorns walked off, leaving behind the other two alicorns that somehow began bickering over socks and what effect they had when placed on a horn. Author's Note Chrysalis and Cadence go shopping Celestia's horn makes a nice slurpee catcher All alicorns need are scarves in order to brave the cold Nightmare Moon inspired the goth fashion Cadence likes to rhyme words
Your music is rage inducing, Lulu!Your music is rage inducing, Lulu! My choices are...No. I really don't want to...No! I'm telling you...No! Stop that, I said no! No! NO! Luna groaned as she was forced to pick the option to kill a certain character in the RPG she was now playing. Of course my previous choice to steal from the bandits would cause me to have to kill the leader; he would have made an excellent pick-pocketing companion that just might slit my throat given the chance, but that is now irrelevant now because I cannot recruit him at all! Sure, I just smote him in one magic spell, but the possibilities I could have had with him! There could have been a hidden side-quest or character romance interest or...Or something else, but now I can't since this character is dead! Urgh...I'm going to need a break from this. I hate these predetermined choices in games. Luna was clacking away at the controller, accessing the save point and saving her game at an inn. She didn't want to stop playing, but after the loss of a potential comrade, she felt like she needed to take a break from all of this. Groaning, she popped a few bones as she stood up, and walked over towards her fridge. Maybe a little popsicle will help; I need something sweet right now, and I am in no mood to travel down to the kitchens for food. She opened up the top half of her fridge, and scanned for her choices in popsicle flavours. "Cherry...Orange...Lime...Mixed berry...So many choices...I think I'll just settle for a lime flavoured popsicle, I'm feeling the need for green right now anyway." Reaching into the fridge, she pulled out a popsicle with her hooves, then shut the door slowly. She peeled the wrapper off, and stuck the popsicle in her mouth, enjoying the lime flavour that exploded in her mouth. Just a few seconds after she placed the popsicle in her mouth, she saw a notification pop up on her screen. Hmm...I wonder what that could be. After sitting back down in her chair, she checked the notification, which was an invite to a video chat by her sister. A video chat? I would have expected something like this from Moonie, but alright. She pressed down on her mouse to accept the invite, but instead of just one screen with Celestia,four seperate windows opened up, with her sister, Chrysalis, Cadence, and Nightmare Moon. I was not expecting this. The first to speak was Celestia, who grinned at them all. "Hello, everypony." Over from her vantage at the Crystal Empire, Cadence waved. "Hi auntie!" Nightmare Moon merely nodded slightly at her screen, while Chrysalis smiled. "Hey!" Unfortunately, since Luna didn't want to remove the popsicle from her mouth, she merely waved at the screen. With greetings exchanged throughout all of them, Celestia cut to the chase. "I suppose you're wondering why we're all here; well, this is a rare chance where all of us don't have any work!" Celestia chimed in cheerfully, which was eagerly accompanied with enthusiastic cheering from Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis, and a grin from Cadence. Again, Luna nodded, unable to say anything with the heavenly popsicle in her mouth. All of us without work, eh? At the same time? Truly, a once in a...Never mind, we're immortal, I'm sure this'll happen a little more often...Maybe. "So...What now?" Celestia's question was left lingering in the air as each alicorn thought about what there was to be done. The simple fact that all five of them had absolutely nothing to do at the same time was an amazing feat in itself, and since they had all given up on the possibility of ever all meeting up like this, nothing had ever been planned out. While it was true that all five of them have been inside Canterlot at one point or another, there simply was too much work to allow themselves to get together, and once that work was done, more work called elsewhere. Cadence was currently a long ways away in the Crystal Empire, so that didn't help either in their current predicament. Seeing as nothing was being done, Luna switched tabs to access her playlist of music, picking out a song to listen to. As the song began playing, there were mixed reactions to the music. Nightmare Moon had an annoyed look on her face as she took off her headset. "Who's playing that? I wasn't expecting music." "I don't know about you, but I enjoy this!" Cadence grinned as she bobbed her head slowly in tune with the music. Rolling her eyes, Chrysalis saw that Luna was the only that wasn't showing a reaction to the music, and so, she tapped her camera gently, assuming she was the one who started playing the music. "Hey, Lulu, mind turning it up a little?" Luna nodded, and increased the volume up slightly, though her sister evidently was annoyed now, shooting a death-glare at her camera. "Oh, so it's you, sister, who's playing it. Turn it off, please, I can't think about what we need to do with that music blasting in my ears." A startled gasp came from Chrysalis and Cadence at Celestia's words. "C'mon, Tia, it isn't that bad!" Chrysalis urged, trying to get her to keep Luna's music going through her speakers. "Besides, I think ponies think better when there's music to help them." "Chrys, music distracts ponies from making sound decisions!" "Funny you say that; if I made a decision right now with the music in the background, wouldn't that be a 'sound' decision?" A series of groans was heard all around from Chrysalis' pun (with a mental one from Luna), though Celestia was the only one to voice it. "Your play on words is terrible and you should feel bad." Nightmare Moon coughed, bringing the attention to her. "That was quite rude, Tia." "So was trying to bring eternal night over all Equestria." An indignant Nightmare Moon scowled at her camera. "Oh, we're going there, aren't we?" Celestia leaned in forward towards her camera, shooting a death glare. "Maybe we are, Moonie!" A now worried looking Cadence spoke softly, hoping that things didn't escalate quickly. "Um...We should calm do-" "Is that a challenge, Tia?! If so, than I accept it! Come at me, sis! I'll take everything you give me and then some!" "Alright then, Moonie! Meet me in the Canterlot gardens and we'll settle this like mares!" Promptly, Celestia's screen went blank, showing that she disconnected from the video chat. Nightmare Moon laughed while the other alicorns merely watched in stunned silence at what just occurred. "Pfft, Tia gets upset easily. One of you shoul-" Nightmare Moon was yanked off from her chair, and she was now screaming incoherently as an aura of magic washed over her, yanking her from her chair and out of her camera's sight. The camera itself fell over, most likely dislodged from Nightmare Moon's sudden, violent yank from her position, and the other three alicorns could just barely see Celestia dragging Nightmare Moon away. "You accepted this challenge, and you're going to do it with me now!" The two alicorns were past the camera's range, and Nightmare Moon's screaming was soon lost in the silence that followed. Chrysalis looked guilty since she was the main cause of the argument, and Luna couldn't help but feel sorry for her. As Luna pulled the popsicle away from her mouth, she said her first few words since the beginning of all this. "Well, that escalated quickly." Her play list switched to another track, and Luna groaned at what caused all this. "I never knew my playlist of music would do something like this." Cadence nodded. "Your music is rage inducing, Lulu!" A moment of silence followed, with the three remaining alicorns not sure on what to do next, at least, until Chrysalis spoke up. "Was my pun really that bad?" Author's Note Lime popsicles are the best Video chats with the most powerful ponies on Equestria It does not go as planned Celestia and Nightmare Moon played hacky sack to determine the victor
I think we broke her, Tia!I think we broke her, Tia! All work and no play makes a dull pony grey. No offense to those that have grey coats, of course, but I can certainly feel my white coat turning into a dull shade of grey with every passing day I spend inside the castle when I could be spending it outside. The snow won't be covering Canterlot soon, and I want to frolic in it just like I did when I was a tiny filly...Then again, you have to admit, it'd probably cause some newspaper to write about how playing in the snow is the next 'big thing', and then we'll have one massive snowball fight in Canterlot. Actually, now that I think about it, that wouldn't be such a bad idea... Inside a very warm castle, Celestia was looking out through a window at the snow that was in Canterlot public park. One of them, anyway. While summer was her season, and she loved it so, it just didn't compare to how everything had a 'clean' look to it in the winter. That, and the snow could be used for so many things; it was a wonder why ponies wanted to have a winter wrap up at all. "Tia?" "Hmm?" Celestia turned her gaze away from outside the window to see Chrysalis, clad in winter gear and a slight smile on her face. "Did you need something, Chrys?" "Well, I've more or less finished my work, and since I saw you out here, I figured that you're done as well. I'm about to head into the mall down the street to buy a slurpee and walk around the park for a bit before spending the rest of the day in front of the hearth. Do you want to come along? I'd like some company, and Lulu and Moonie are probably busy with their work." "Nothing's holding me back here as far as I know. Of course, Chrys, I'd love to come along, especially since you mentioned slurpees. Just let me grab a scarf and I'll be set." Watching this encounter from afar off was Luna, who gleefully rubbed her hooves together. "Oh, this is perfect! Chrys and Tia, getting a slurpee together?! I'm glad I dumped my work onto Blueblood to see this! Now, all I have to do is manipulate the events to ensure the perfect date for them!" Luna giggled as she teleported to the mall that Chrysalis mentioned that they were going to, and ignoring the startled looks and bows she was receiving, placed down five-hundred bits in front of a scared teenage colt. Excessive? Possibly, but she didn't mind; she had to make sure this worked, after all. "Two ultra large slurpees, one made with cherry, the other made with cola! They are for my sister and Princess Chrysalis, who shall be arriving here shortly. Tell them nothing; just say that these drinks are already paid for, but do not say by whom. Farewell." Just as quickly as she entered the food court, she left, via teleportation again, planning on setting things up in the park. Music needed to be in the park. The manager of the food court looked at the pile of bits on the counter, then looked over to the colt with a smile. "Well, I don't know how you managed to get Princess Luna as your first customer, nor how you managed to snag five-hundred bits for two slurpees, but what I do know is that you're getting promoted." "That was certainly generous of the pony at the register, though I find it a bit strange; our favorite slurpees, already laid out and paid for us? I thought we'd have to wait in line like everypony else, Tia." Chrysalis placed her mouth onto her straw, and began sucking in the massive ninety-two ounce heavenly cherry flavoured slurpee that threatened to give her brain freeze. "Indeed, it's strange, but certainly not unwelcome. Perhaps it's just a sign that things are going to go well tonight." "...Say, do you hear that, Tia?" "Hear wha-" Celestia trailed off slowly as she heard faint music coming from the park. "My, I didn't expect music in the park; I would have figured that these ponies would have wanted to play inside, rather than outside." Turning the hedge, the two alicorns saw famed musician Octavia Melody with her sister, Fiddlesticks Melody and friend, Vinyl Scratch. Their eyes were closed, seemingly lost in the pure musical bliss. The three were playing in a gazebo, and, strangely enough, there were no ponies surrounding the famous musicians. At least, until they showed up. Feeling a nudge to her side, Celestia looked over at Chrysalis, who made a subtle nod towards them. "Come on, this is interesting." The footsteps of the two approaching alicorns caused the three musicians to open their eyes and see who had dared to approach. Instead of stopping the music, like Celestia feared they would, they merely smiled, and continued to play their breathtaking melody; it wasn't a song that she recognized, but she didn't need to. They were not famous musicians right now; they were simply two sisters and a friend, enjoying a moment of simply playing what felt right to them. "Hey...Tia?" "Yes?" "So far, today's been strange; we've been given free slurpees, and now there's music playing in the park, without anypony else here except for us. Now that I think about it, it reminds me of those terrible romantic movies Moonie watches in her spare time where somepony sets up two other ponies together without them knowing. Or, in other words, Cadence." Now that you mention it, it does seem like...Oh, come on, Lulu, was this your doing? While I don't mind the free slurpees that were hopefully from your own bits, you really don't have to play matchmaker. However... "That seems correct. I remember a scene similar to this...And this is the scene where the fair unicorn asked the changeling for a dance." "I see. I...Wait..." "Would you like to dance, Chrys?" Celestia had to admit, Chrysalis did look rather cute when she suddenly went red in the face. "I'll take that as a yes." Before Chrysalis could protest, Celestia took hold of Chrysalis' hooves, and went into a slow dance with her. Vinyl, who was still watching the pair, gently nudge Octavia and Fiddlesticks before winking at them, and the trio went into a slightly more romantic version of what they were playing. The music did not go unnoticed by Chrysalis, who started to pull away slightly. "Tia...As much as I like you as a friend, I-" "Shh, Chrys. I have a feeling that Lulu is watching us dance right now; I'm sure that she is very pleased with what she thinks is going to her plans. I, however, have other things in mind." Chrysalis' voice quietened down, and she slowly placed herself back in Celestia's hooves. She's quite the leader in dancing. "Ah, I see. What are you going to do?" "Lead Lulu on; then, when she crows about her victory, I'll tell her that we knew all along and we're still not together, despite her efforts to do so." "That's mean. Funny, but mean." Chrysalis was suddenly twirled around by Celestia, and she couldn't help but be slightly jealous of Celestia's dancing skills. While slow dancing wasn't really a dance and more of a hugging and swaying kind of thing, she had never really gotten used to it, so she was very surprised at how well Celestia was guiding her. "This is coming from the alicorn that threw an empty slurpee at my horn." "Fair enough." The dancing continued on, though Celestia felt that the music was going to end soon. With a sudden kick, Celestia tripped a startled Chrysalis, and she caught her low to the floor, with a slight smile on her face. The things I do to prank my sister. "Shh, all part of the plan, Chrys. Now you better enjoy this because I'm only going to do this once." "What are yo-" Chrysalis' eyes widened as Celestia went in for a kiss, completely taking her by surprise. While she certainly needed to kiss a few ponies when she needed to disguise as one, she never had a kiss while undisguised. It felt...'Different' somehow. It was also especially different when she felt Celestia press deeper into the kiss willingly. I...Understand that you want this to look convincing, Tia, but this is just going a little too far! Regardless of her personal thoughts on what was happening to her, she closed her eyes, agreeing with Celestia's words; she really should enjoy this moment, if not because she actually liked getting kiss by Celestia, but because Luna was going to have one heck of a surprise coming to her. A thud startled all five of them, and they turned towards the sound of the thud, which happened to be none other than Luna. An awkward look was shared between all the ponies present before they abandoned their positions to run to Luna, and Chrysalis gently nudged her, checking for a response. "I think we broke her, Tia!" Vinyl snorted, earning her Octavia's glare. "I'll say. I know I'd gag if I saw my cousin Rarity going at it like you two were!" Celestia only then just realized that their little moment might have told these ponies a little too much that they didn't need to know, nor need to spread around. "I trust that you three will understand that we are not together? We were merely playing a prank on Lulu here." Fiddlesticks looked up at Chrysalis, then at Celestia, disappointment clear in her eyes. "Aw, shucks, y'all ain't together?" Chrysalis scrunched her face, unable to believe that they thought they were together. "No, we are certainly not together!" Octavia cleared her throat, which had the effect of getting everypony to look at her. "Well...As much as I want to dwell on the problem of Princess Luna being out 'cold' right now, I also want to get back to playing music; might as well, really, since Princess Luna pulled all of us out of my warm home just seven minutes ago." "I would be grateful, actually, if you would continue playing a little longer. Chrys, would you like to dance again? It's been quite awhile, and I won't force you into a kiss this time." A part of Chrysalis told her that she wanted nothing more to do in the park, but she also enjoyed the dancing, even if Celestia was leading the entire time. "Of course, Tia, I'd love to dance again." Author's Note Luna tries to make everything perfect It works, sort of Kissy kissy They're still not together Luna is now crying and eating moon pies topped with ice cream after she heard that her plan fail and it was a joke on her There is an amazing lack of pictures of these two shipped together
Oh, back off, Lulu!Back off, Lulu! You know, out of all the things that could have happened when Nightmare Moon was freed from my mind, this was certainly not what I thought she would do with me. Who am I to complain, though?! I now have somepony to play with! Currently, Nightmare Moon and Luna were playing some Pony Knights, and it was refreshing to have another pony to play with; Celestia was more interested in shooters then dungeon crawlers, and while Cadence did happen to like playing with Luna, the distance between them often caused a problem for them, as the signal strength was weak in the crystal empire. So when Nightmare Moon expressed some interest towards gaming and certain parts of the genre, Luna immediately picked up on that and began showing Nightmare Moon the games that she played in an attempt to convert Nightmare Moon into her gaming buddy. It was going pretty well, all things considered. Luna adjusted the microphone on her headset for a moment before speaking. "Hey, Moonie, you want to go downstairs into the kitchens after this depth? I'm getting a little hungry, if that's alright." "I wouldn't mind a snack myself, Lulu. I'll accompany you down to the kitchen." Well, that was rather convenient timing on my part. "Alright then. Let's finish this royal jelly already so we can eat." Nightmare Moon's sarcastic voice sounded over. "Uh, who was the one that insisted on bringing along piercing weapons?" "Look, I didn't know the new weapons I was bringing along were piercing!" "Whatever...I have to carry you, again." After setting her headset down carefully, Luna stepped outside her room, grumbling under her breath. "I swear I didn't know they were piercing! Nice going, Lulu." Shaking her head in annoyance, she continued her path until she was at the intersection where she was going to meet Nightmare Moon. She sat down on one of the many benches, and waited for her gaming buddy. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Chrysalis walking towards her, and she nodded slightly in her direction. "Hello, Chrys." "Hello, Lulu." The alicorn sat down next to Luna, who scooted over to make room for her. "How has your day gone so far?" Luna smiled at Chrysalis. "It's going well! Moonie and I have just finished a session of Pony Knights, and now we're going to get some food from the kitchens. You?" Chrysalis sighed before rubbing the base of her horn. "Paperwork. It's always the paperwork, and most of it is...Dumb." Oh, I don't envy you. "Tell me about it. It was an absolute nightmare when Tia first showed me the massive amount of paperwork I had to complete. In an hour. The stack of papers reached the ceiling!" "That sounds about right. Oh, there's Moonie; well, I'm off, Lulu, I don't want to get slapped silly by Moonie. You two have fun with whatever you're doing!" Chrysalis waved at Luna before walking off, past Nightmare Moon. The latter shot a glare at her before turning her head around to smile at Luna. "Well, I'm here. Sorry about the delay; I was held back by a guard named Elhaym that wanted to ask me a few questions about myself." "That's fine; I was busy talking to Chrys anyway. Let's go into the kitchens!" The two eagerly made tracks to the kitchen, stopping only to apologize (briefly) to accidentally running into a now crying Celestia, who had dropped her slurpee upon Luna accidentally smashing into her like a truck when she rounded the corner. After that little incident, the two of them quickly left before Celestia began throwing a tantrum. It was in the best interests of their health, to say the least, when they heard muffled explosions in the hallway they left Celestia in. "Wow, even though slurpees are heavenly, even I don't throw a tantrum like a little filly when it spills." "It's not like Tia can't get another slurpee anyway, she needs to not whine over split slurpees!" "You got that right!" The two alicorns shared a laugh as they entered the kitchen, and Luna gave a slight nod towards the head chef. "We're just here for a light snack." The chef still paled from what Luna said; a light 'snack' usually meant something that would take two starving ponies to munch through. Fortunately, however, Luna wasn't interested in anything the chefs could make for her; she was only interested in the marshmallow goodness that were called moon pies. With that in mind, she walked over to one of the massive fridges dedicated to alicorns and their snacks. The particular fridge she was opening had her cutie mark on it, so she knew there were going to be moon pies within it. Unfortunately, when Luna opened the fridge, it was completely empty. No moon pies were in sight. Surprisingly, she didn't panic at first; she closed the fridge door as her first course of action. Then, despair ran through Luna's system, and she dropped to the floor, twitching slightly. "N-No moon pies...T-There are no m-moon pies! WHY...What did I do wrong?! There a week's supply of moon pies in there!" "Oh. I ate them all." The silence that suddenly rampaged through the kitchen created an aura of tension that a pony would later remark as 'So much tension that not even a hot knife could cut through that butter'. Luna stopped twitching on the floor to unsteadily get back up on her hooves to stare at Nightmare Moon before taking in a deep breath, which was the cue for everypony other than Nightmare Moon to cover their ears. Luna shouted a single word at Nightmare Moon, who was confused over why everypony had their ears covered. "WHAT?!" Nightmare Moon groaned as she held her hooves to her ears far too late, as they were ringing with the echo of Luna's shout. "Why are you shouting?! All I said was that I ate all the moon pies in that fridge." "Those were my moon pies, Moonie! It was my fridge, not yours! You're getting your own delivered to you sometime net week to stock with your own snacks!" "We have...Personalized fridges of food in the kitchens? I doubt that; Lulu, it doesn't have your name on it." Frantically, Luna waved a hoof at the fridge. "It has my coat colours! Cutie mark on it! What else does it need?!" Snorting, Nightmare Moon walked over to Celestia's fridge, and pulled it open, eyes widening at the contents within. "Oh, back off, Lulu! So I made a mistake; at least I know better now. Those moon pies were delicious." Slowly, Nightmare Moon pulled out a plate with a slice of plain cheesecake on it, and smiled. "Ah, yes, cheesecake...Somepony, get me a bottle of strawberry syrup and some berries!" Luna watched with barely contained, seething rage as she looked back at her fridge, devoid of moon pies. "You're getting what's coming to you,Moonie..." She muttered quietly to herself as she walked forward to Celestia's fridge, grudgingly getting some cheesecake for herself. Author's Note Celestia is number one when it comes to shooters and is accused of aimbotting in every game she plays Pony Knights = Spiral Knights, just a little game I play when I'm bored at times Poor Celestia Poor Luna Luna has competition with Nightmare Moon for Moon pies now
Get shipped, Tia!Get shipped, Tia! Enough is enough. I think it's about time I confronted Lulu about this; she still insists on trying to 'ship' Chrys and I together. This is...Not something she should be doing in her free time, and I would rather not have to put on a charade for her to convince her to leave us alone about it. That, and it's getting a little annoying with her always putting mistletoe above us. Celestia very gently knocked on Luna's door, and spoke just as softly. "Sister, are you inside? I need to talk to you about something." "Wow, what a coincidence, I was about to do the very same, Tia! Come on in, it'll be easier to explain when you're inside!" I have a bad feeling about this. Actually, why is it that when somepony says that line in a book, it always comes true? Writers really need to write that line in same other fashion, it's getting a little too predictable whenever I read something now. Celestia walked into Luna's room, noticing that her sister had a smile on her face as she began shuffling some papers. The fact that her sister even had papers and was working baffled Celestia completely. I thought you didn't have any paperwork today; maybe I came in at a bad time? "Err. I was under the assumption that you didn't have any work left to do, Lulu. Should I-" "No, no, it's fine, Tia! Just sit down and we can talk; this isn't much anyway." There was an uneasy feeling in the back of Celestia's mind as she sat down across from her sister, wondering what those papers were for. "Now, Lulu, I need to talk to you abou-" Luna interrupted her sister with a chirp. "Shipping!" "...Pardon?" "Shipping, Tia!" Luna smiled as she brought out a toy boat, complete with two miniatures of Celestia and Chrysalis on it. "You two need to ship away! There's no other reason why you're here; you want to discuss the possibilities and ways on how you and Chrys can ship away, happily ever after!" Chrys told me that Lulu was a little loopy...I didn't think it would be this bad, though! "Erm...Do tell. Anyway, Lulu..." "No! You do not stop the shipping train!" "...Isn't that a boat, though?" "Details, details, just get on the boat-train thingeramajiggy!" The confusion; it hurts. I think I'm starting to understand Twilight's frustration whenever she writes about the one called Pinkie Pie. At least, I think Luna's getting as confusing as Pinkie Pie. "Now, Lulu, while I did want to talk about this 'shipping'..." "Get shipped, Tia!" Luna's eyes widened and her grin only seemed to grow larger, and Celestia groaned upon realizing that she said the wrong choice of words. "Finally, you've accepted the fact that you need to be shipped with Chrys and are willing to help me! It's been driving me crazy how you two haven't hooked up together yet!" You're crazy. I'm crazy. We're all crazy. Mostly you, though, and I will eradicate any thoughts of this 'shipping' once I'm through with you. "That's what I want to talk with you about, I-" "Good, I wanted to talk with you about that as well! I have several hundred thousand ways to ship you two together, ranging from a simple kiss under the mistletoe to skydiving to your doom together!" Luna tossed a piece of paper at her sister, which, now that Celestia saw clearly, was a plan outlining how to get the two 'shipped' while skydiving. In the...Ocean. Literally, in the ocean. With Twilight piloting a boat-train thingeramajiggy and the rest of her friends as the crew. ...Other than the fact that this plan might have actually worked, I don't think I'd feel very safe skydiving in the ocean in a boat-train thingeramajiggy piloted by Twilight and her friends. "I...No, Lulu! That's not what I want to talk with you about!" Luna huffed, and levitated the piece of paper back over to her while giving her sister another piece. "Then do you mean to talk about what you two will do after getting shipped?" "Listen, Lulu, I was thinking that-" "Why, you two would get married, of course!" I don't even... "No! Lulu, I was thinking that maybe you're doing something that neither of us want a part in! I, DON'T, WANT, TO, GET, SHIPPED." Silence reigned over the two sisters as Luna stared at her sister with wide, confused, and hurt eyes. I'm so, so sorry, Lulu...I know you wanted this to work, but it's just not happening. Neither alicorn so much do anything more as breathe until Celestia sneezed. As if a switch had been thrown, Luna smashed her head through the table, and groaned. Quickly, Celestia moved so fast to her sister's side that it was almost like she teleported to her, and gently patted her back as Luna finally accepted that she couldn't ship them together. "Shh, Lulu, I know you're upset, but that's just the truth; neither of us want to get shipped together." "I thought...I was just trying to make you happy with somepony special, Tia! You yourself said you've never had somepony special in your life, so I thought Chrys would be perfect for you!" "That's not true." Luna lifted her head up, with a surprised look was on her face, and Celestia gently placed a hoof on her sister's mouth, silencing whatever she was going to say next. "I do have a very special pony in my life. Multiple ponies, in fact. All of Equestria. You. Chrys. Caddy. Moonie, to an extent; you're all very special to me, just not in a romantic way. Who knows? Maybe I will fall in love with Chrys someday; maybe it'll be Moonie, as unlikely as that sounds. The point is, dearest Lulu, I already feel special, and no, it's not because I can sneeze and immediately get hoofed over about twenty tissues. It's not because I'm on a golden throne that hurts my rump to sit on with a straight face, and it's definitely not because of the title I hold. Or the paperwork...You get what I mean. It's because of the fact that I make a lot of ponies happy with what I do for them, and that's all I need, the love and thanks of the ponies." As Celestia removed her hoof from Luna's mouth, the lunar alicorn sniffed, and gave her sister a smile before hugging her sister tightly. "Okay, Tia...I'll stop trying to ship you two together...And you sounded like Chrys a little at the end." "That's because I am Chrys, duh." "W-What?!" Luna recoiled as if she was struck, and Celestia laughed as she bopped her sister on the nose. "Gotcha." Luna promptly broke out from the hug with her sister, and crossed her hooves in front of her chest. "Hmph...I really wish you two got together, though." "I thank you for your effort to do so, unneeded as it was, Lulu. I'll see you later." Luna watched as her sister made her farewell before walking off, leaving Luna with a table with her head imprint on it. The smile on Luna's face vanished immediately once Celestia had left the room, and she smashed her head against the table again. Actually, I didn't really care if you two suddenly got shipped together, I'm upset that I lost my bet with Caddy. Now I owe her a slurpee, and I have to watch her drink it in a transparent crystal cup... Author's Note Celestia wants to talk with her sister Boat-train thingeramajiggies exist Luna lost her bet to Cadence and will now pay the price
I-I didn't say that, Lulu!I-I didn't say that, Lulu! I thought this was going to be something simple. Simple for a genius, no doubt. Why has technology advanced so much and in such a complex way while I was in the moon?! Sure, I do love the fact that there are these things called video games and the heavenly invention of slurpees, but when it comes to other things such as this, I am absolutely clueless! It doesn't help that Elhaym isn't making any sense with what she's saying about these light-bulbs either. The mentioned guard watched as Luna fumbled around with a light fixture; the one that was in Luna's room had died, and needed to be replaced. Unfortunately, Luna had refused her help and insisted on fixing the lights herself, though Elhaym was seriously doubting that Luna could even go through the manual, since it was taking her five minutes to read one page. That light-bulb didn't look like it was going to be replaced anytime soon. Clearing her throat audibly to catch Luna's attention, she tried for the tenth time to try and assist her. "Princess Luna, are you sure tha-" Her words were cut off quickly. "Quite sure, Elhaym! Now, do your job of protecting me from rabid marshmallows." I...What? Isn't that the job of the kitchen guard? I'm just a library guard, the most I have to worry about are enchanted flying books trying to bite my mane off. "Princess, with all due respect, I'm sure the kitchen guard has section five locked down tight, and I'm a section eight guard. Not only that, but I should be helping you replace the light-bulb in your room, as I am an experienced electrician, or at least was, before I became a royal guard." "Oh, please, Elhaym! I really do not require your help. After all, how many alicorns does it take to screw in a light-bulb?" ...Are you really referencing that joke, or are you actually being serious right now? "...Do you really want me to answer that, or are you just joking?" "What are you talking about? It doesn't take an alicorn to screw in a light-bulb, I see normal ponies do it all the time! It surely won't take much effort on my part." With that said, Luna stood up on a rather unsteady looking chair, holding up the accursed light-bulb she had been trying to replace all this time. At first, things seemed to be going well; Elhaym figured that she would would be the first one to see if it really did take just one alicorn to screw in a light-bulb. History was in the making! That was before Nightmare Moon showed up, curious about why Luna hadn't showed up online at all yet to play Pony Knights. She had waited an entire twenty minutes for her, and she feared that Luna had suddenly been dumped with paperwork. "Is everything okay, Lulu? "Just fine, Moonie! What're you doing he-" As Luna's attention was on greeting the newcomer to her room, she slipped off of the unstable chair and fell with an ungraceful thud on the floor. The light-bulb was in the air, and, not wanting any harm to come to the light-bulb or the princess due to shattering glass, Elhaym dived at it, just barely managing to catch it in her hooves in a perfect dive that would have won top awards in a sports competition. Nightmare Moon was immediately at Luna's side, looking over the alicorn with worry; Luna looked like she had a really nasty fall. "Are you okay, mom?!" Her hooves immediately shot to her mouth, wondering what possessed her to call Luna her mom, despite the logic behind such a sentence. Wait...Did I just call her my mom out loud? Oh. This isn't good. Well, this is certainly getting interesting. Elhaym watched the events unfold in front of her with interest as she juggled the light-bulb in her hooves. Surprisingly enough, Luna didn't react too badly to Nightmare Moon's words. "Mmm...I'm okay...I...Wait..." Luna stared at Nightmare Moon with a confused look. "Did you...Just call me mom?" Nightmare Moon looked over at Elhaym with a look that just screamed 'help'. Sighing, Elhayn nodded at NIghtmare Moon, wondering why her, of all ponies. When I signed up to be a royal guard, this wasn't in the job description. "Erm...I saved the light-bulb, Princess Luna!" Elhaym's words broke Luna's gaze off of Nightmare Moon, and she nodded slowly at her. "...Good. I suppose you're right, you can screw the light-bulb in for me." Seeing as she had no way to ignore the order Luna gave her, she nodded slowly before attending to the task that Luna ultimately failed in, while keeping an ear open towards the two alicorns in the room. "Now...Moonie, what on Equestria was that? Why did you call me 'mom'?" Luna's questioning gaze rested on a fidgeting Nightmare Moon, who was trying to think of a way to get out of this situation without explaining. Seeing that there was no way out of this situation and that she would only be delaying the inevitable, Nightmare Moon laid down next to Luna. As Luna scrambled up to sit up properly, Nightmare Moon draped a wing over Luna's back; that wasn't something Luna was expecting, but she didn't shy away from Nightmare Moon because of it. "I understand that probably makes you feel uncomfortable, Moonie, but I have to know; you don't just blurt out 'mom' randomly." Nightmare Moon nodded, and sighed. "I know. I'm sorry about that. I...I've been thinking about our relationship for awhile now, and, as much as it might startle you, I think I've come to think of you as my mother." Luna frowned slightly at what Nightmare Moon said. "Well, does that really mean I'm your mother, though? You're not a pony that has been born by...'Traditional' means, so I don't know if you can apply the word 'mother' to me." "Admittedly I was not physically born, nor have I actually had a foalhood, but that doesn't mean you're not my mother. Tia is often considered the 'mother' of Equestria because she takes care of everypony she can and tries to keep teach them about Harmony. That's not much different from what mothers have to do, and, whenever I'm with you, it certainly feels like you're my mother, even though you don't particularly teach me anything I haven't already found out about." Maybe...Maybe she's right. She technically 'sprung' from my horn, I did create her personality, as flawed as it was in some areas, and I do a lot of motherly things with her. In a surprise move that wasn't expected by anypony present, Luna began to nuzzle Nightmare Moon gently. "Well, then, if I'm your mother, that means you're going to have to listen to me, right?" Nightmare Moon pulled away from the nuzzling to blow a raspberry at Luna. "Fat chance, mother." "Aw..." Luna was going to say more, but Elhaym spoke up first. "I got it!" Elhaym grinned as she finally screwed in the light-bulb, much to Luna's anger. "That stupid light-bulb..." Author's Note How many alicorns does it take to screw in a light-bulb? The world may never know Expanding character relationships, yay Elhaym saves the day with the light-bulb
T-That wasn't necessary, Tia!T-That wasn't necessary, Tia! There's nothing weirder than an alicorn. It's just the truth! You can't get any weirder than...Us. Even Discord has nothing on us. Alicorns are weird, and we do things that nopony would ever think about doing, or can't do. Still, once you think about it, you'd think the universal deity that makes our lives weird would give us alicorns a break; we're already such a huge magnet for the weird that we don't really need much more of it! A musing Luna was prowling about in the castle gardens, in an especially old clearing that she faintly remembered being in before, but couldn't remember what exactly had transpired here in the past. Accompanying her was Celestia, who was enjoying the walk around the rather sparse and unimpressive clearing they were in. Celestia had wanted to talk a walk with her, though Luna wondered why she picked here, of all places, as it wasn't the best place to take a walk in; the only thing of interest was a gazebo in the middle of the clearing, and even that looked small and unimpressive, just like the clearing surrounding it. Unable to believe that her sister would just pick this particular spot in the gardens to walk to, she decided to question her sister's motives. "Tia, why are we here, and why have you not decided to put flowers and plants in this clearing? It looks rather out of place compared to the beautiful gardens surrounding it. It's certainly not the first place I'd like to stroll through, that's for sure, and I know that you love the beautiful plants and flowers in other parts of the garden, so there's really no reason to ever come into this clearing to admire the 'view'." Her sister looked at her apologetically. "I'm sorry about that, Lulu; there is a reason why I have asked for you to take a walk with me in this specific clearing. Tell me, doesn't this place bring back a memory to you, back when we were little fillies?" Luna stared flatly at her sister. "It's been a thousand years inside a cold, hard rock, Tia, you can't possibly expect me to remember everything that transpired in the past when I'm sleeping for that long. I especially can't remember anything involving an empty clearing with nothing but a gazebo around. While I admit that I have some faint remembrance of this area, I know not of the exact details of what happened here." "...So, you don't remember your first kiss?" I...Okay, that was rather sudden and weird. Not to mention slightly suspicious. "No, Tia, and, if I may be so bold, why are you asking me such a question here? It seems...Inappropriate. This also doesn't look like where I'd want to have my first kiss." "Huh; you really don't remember, then. Fair enough, you were just a little filly back then." Striding up into the gazebo, Celestia left behind a confused Luna as she took residence on a bench. "That's a shame; I thought we could have had a laugh about it, but it doesn't seem like we're going to have one." "Now you're just not making any sense whatsoever, Tia; I don't remember kissing anypony, much less as a filly! Tell me what I did, now!" Luna sat down next to her sister with a frown, wondering about what her sister was going on about. "This sounds important, and I want to know who I first kissed!" "I think it'd be far easier to show you, Lulu." Show me? What are yo- Luna's thought process was interrupted and then promptly shutdown as her sister leaned in and kissed her. Her surprise and shame in the sudden act of getting kissed by her sister was slowly drained away as she realized that she was actually enjoying the kiss! Before she could summon the courage to kiss Celestia back, her sister pulled away, leaving behind a flabbergasted Luna with a thousand yard stare. "I-I...T-That wasn't necessary, Tia! And for all I know is that I just got my second kiss, with you! I don't understand what the purpose of that was!" Glumly, Celestia pointed to herself. "Jeez, you can't connect the dots at all. I was your first kiss, Lulu." What you believe in is not real anymore. A still dazed Luna struggled to snap out of her stupor, which was only partially successful. "Y-You mean I...I...Wait..." With some intense concentration, Luna tried to remember the incident that happened so, so long ago, with success this time around. "Tiiiiiiia!" "Hmm?" A much younger version of Celestia with a pink mane was in a gazebo, drawing a picture of the sky. It was very blue, like Luna. Speaking of which, she turned around to see her little sister charging at her, with a massive smile on her face. "I love you!" Hee hee; that's sweet. In anticipation of a tackle, she spread her hooves out, ready to catch Luna in her grasp. "I love you too Lu-" With astounding strength in one so young, Luna propelled herself at Celestia, pressing her mouth against hers in what she thought was a normal way to show affection for another. Celestia, however, was not expecting such a thing, and her stance slackened as Luna tackled her to the ground, hitting the wooden gazebo floor with a thud that would have moderately injured a normal pony. Just as quickly as it happened, Luna pulled away from the kiss with a smile, giggling at the dumbstruck expression on her sister's face. "I saw two guards kissing each other, and when I asked them about it, they said it was a way to show affection to a loved one, and since I love you, I kissed you!" Present day Luna was now blushing as the scene from the past replayed in her mind, and she groaned. "I was such a silly filly back then..." "Agreed." Celestia's own cheeks were red as the two sat in silence, both mulling over what had transpired now and in the past. "...Thank you, Tia, for being my first kiss." "Don't mention it. Ever." The solar princess lightly punched Luna, and she smiled as the punch was returned. Author's Note And here's a picture Kissy kissy No I'm not shipping these two together either
She's really grumpy, Lulu!She's really grumpy, Lulu! Oh! Listen to the sound, of hope that's rising up, over your old horizon! Listen to the sound, listen to the sound! Celestia was inwardly singing as she walked down the hallways in a very good mood; after all, she just had breakfast in bed, read the letter sent to her overnight by Twilight, and just had that morning energy she got from coffee! Today was looking up to be very good for her. She even did a little twirl as she traveled down to her day court. And listen to the sound of a new beginning, oh, this is where the old is ending! Listen to the sound, listen to the sou- The door in front of her shattered into many wooden pieces, causing Celestia to pause mid-twirl as she stared at the sudden destruction of what was once an oak door. That's not the sound I was expecting to hear at all, but, okay. The solar alicorn then realized that she was in an awkward position, and crashed down onto the floor due to the fact that the awkward balancing required to stop perfectly mid-twirl was something that she didn't possess at all. Ow. Slowly, the pony responsible for smashing the wooden door into wooden chips stepped out into Celestia's view, and it was none other than Nightmare Moon, who looked down at Celestia lamely before greeting her with very little energy behind it. "Urgh...Hi, Tia. The door broke." I didn't like that door anyway. You, however, look like somepony that got up on the wrong side of the bed today, and then got attacked by a bear. Might as well humor you, though! "Hi Moonie! Sleep well?" When asked that question, Nightmare Moon glared down upon Celestia with such intensity that Celestia suddenly felt like a little filly again, after having been caught trying to steal cookies from a jar. "No, and it's no thanks to your sun..." Brushing off a few pieces of wooden shrapnel that managed to accumulate on her coat, Celestia got back up onto her hooves with a uncertain smile. Moonie must not be a morning pony...I'd best tread carefully. Non-morning ponies can be...Rather rough to deal with. "Oh, come on, Moonie, everypony has to get up sometime! Besides, it's not like you have much work to do today. All you have to do is sit through three meetings and you're pretty much done for the day, so you can get some sleep after them!" "I don't think I can stay awake for one meeting, let alone three..." Nightmare Moon sluggishly began walking down the hallway, and to her dismay, Celestia began following her. "Not to sound rude, Tia, but isn't your day court about to start soon? No need to follow me around like a lost puppy." Even though you said you weren't being rude, I can't help but think you were rude. "Well." There was a pause as Celestia considered her words. "I think my time would be better spent trying to cheer you up instead of listening to ponies asking for winter wrap up to start. It's winter! It doesn't stay around forever, you know." "I assure you I have no need of getting cheered up..." Celestia bit back a sharp retort as she saw a yawning Luna approach them. Ah; maybe Lulu can help me energize Moonie! ...Or at least try and make her a little more cheerful. "Hi, Lulu!" "Mornin', Tia!" Luna gave a tired smile at her sister. "I see you roped Moonie in with you." "Yes, unfortunately. You two can catch up with each other, I think I'm going to go pass out in the kitchen." With a snort, Nightmare Moon brushed past Luna quickly, leaving the two siblings together. A bewildered Luna looked at her sister with dismay. "Why is she so grumpy? Was it something I said? Wait, was it something you said?" A now worried and slightly upset Celestia watched as Nightmare Moon stomped off. "Uh, I'm not sure myself. She's really grumpy, Lulu! I'm sure she got up on the wrong side of the bed today. She also looks like she hasn't gotten any sleep last night." Did she really...Well, darn. "I think it had to do with last night..." Curiously, Celestia switched her gaze onto her sister, sensing that she was going to get a very stupid reason about why Nightmare Moon didn't get any sleep. "Oh? What exactly happened last night?" With a groan, Luna watched as she progressed to the next level. "Oh come ON, Moonie! Even I can't continue playing! I can only go for so long before I need sleep!" A voice responded to her with whining tones. "We haven't even reached level ten yet! At least until we fight our first major storyline boss, Lulu!" Deciding that enough was enough, Luna logged off, and rubbed at her eyes. "We've been at this for awhile now, Moonie, can't it wait until next week when we're free again? I have a small stack of work to do tomorrow, and I need some sleep for it, and you also got a few meetings tomorrow. I think now is a good time to stop playing; we can always play Dungeon Defenders some other time." "Sleeping is for the weak! I can go all night if I have to!" Hmm... "Is that a challenge?" Luna cringed as Nightmare Moon's voice boomed over her headset. "YES, IT IS A CHALLENGE!" For the love of my moon, your voice sounds terrible over the mic when you yell. "...R-Right, Moonie...Then stay up all night." "I accept your challenge!" "...I might have...Challenged her to stay up all night?" That's cruel, to deny a pony their sleep over a challenge. With most of her her cheerful morning gone with Nightmare Moon's grumpiness due to Luna's challenge, Celestia could feel her day getting worse with every passing second. "Well...We should probably try and cheer her up, Lulu. I think she'll be happy to know that I'll cancel her meetings so that she can get some sleep today." "Although that sounds like something she'd be glad to hear, you can talk to her first, while I'm directly behind you; I don't want to die once she figures out that she just walked down to the kitchen for nothing, and your rump makes a nice shield for all things related to rampaging alicorns." An indignant Celestia slapped her sister before walking off towards Nightmare Moon, followed by a laughing Luna who was also massaging the area where her sister slapped her. Author's Note Celestia's fond of singing Nightmare Moon hates mornings Luna gets slapped
You know it, Tia!You know it, Tia! This isn't weird at all. Nope. Na-da. Zilch. This is perfectly normal for somepony to do and I am totally not violating Tia's personal space by doing this. Mhm. Nothing is wrong at all about this. This popcorn is tasty, too. Luna was currently setting up camp outside of Celestia's bathroom, and was enjoying the singing that her sister was performing in the shower. While the idea of sitting outside your sibling's bathroom to listen to them sing in the shower might be considered strange and outright disturbing to other ponies, it wasn't her problem. It really wasn't. Her sister had such a beautiful voice that not many ponies ever got to hear, usually because thirty seconds into her singing, Celestia could practically make anypony cry with it. So, she never tried again, at least in public. Right now, though, she was singing softly in the shower, where she couldn't accidentally make everypony within hearing distance of her start crying as if thousands of onions were cut. The fact that most ponies couldn't listen to her sister sing deeply upset Luna. It is truly a curse, is it not? To have such a beautiful voice, yet being unable to let other ponies listen to such beautiful singing. I am saddened, Tia, that you cannot sing in public, for you far outclass any singer I've ever listened to; then again, in this era, ponies don't really have that much talent, as I've seen from browsing the internet. Honestly, auto-tune and terrible lyrics do not make a good singer. Compared to those ponies, I think you'd easily demolish your 'competition'. The rush of water suddenly stopped, and Luna guessed that her sister was getting out of the shower, and beginning to dry herself off. This suspicion was confirmed as no singing was heard from Celestia for awhile and the faint sounds of ruffling feathers was heard. A good five minutes passed by before Celestia's voice sounded out again. "Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are..." Smiling, Luna remembered when Faust taught her that old rhyme, long ago. Ah...That old nursery rhyme! That's one of my favorites. "Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky..." Once you think about it, it's rather ironic that she's singing this, isn't she? "When the blazing sun is gone, when the nothing shines is gone..." Celestia's voice was suddenly muffled, and Luna winced as she heard something fall down onto the floor with a crash. "Well, that's just great! Ugh, stupid wings, always getting in the way, tipping over things and making me look silly." Typical; you're so clumsy! What did you break this time, Tia? Luna got up from the large beanie she was sitting on, placed her popcorn off to the side, and reached out with a hoof towards the handle of the doorway separating her from her sister, but she pulled away slightly, unsure of how to proceed. There were too many unknowns for her to make a decision just yet. Her sister was obviously annoyed, but over what, she couldn't tell, though the tinkling of glass wasn't a good sign. Maybe she broke her mirror? As Luna thought about the potential routes she could take, Celestia rambled to herself as the sound of tinkering was heard. "This is terrible...Now where am I going to put my toothbrush?! I'm not going to find a vase like that again. Lulu would be so disappointed if she knew about this." Out of instinct, she replied to her sister. "Disappointed in what, Tia?" All too late, she clamped a hoof over her mouth. Nice going! Now Tia knows I'm here! The response was immediate, and Celestia's voice was hysterical. "L-Lulu?! W-What are you doing in my room?!" Me and my big mouth. Quickly, Luna came up with an excuse to her presence. "I-I was passing by, and heard you sing! So I sat down in front of your door and began listening in!" She need not know that I've been sitting outside her bathroom door in the mornings for the past three months. "...I see. Well, could you leave my room for a moment? I...Need to go put some clothes on, I'm...Indecent!" If Twilight Sparkle is terrible at giving out excuses, Tia, she must have learned from the best; and I know she most likely got that bad habit from you. At least try to make a good excuse! "Tia, please, you know I heard the...Whatever the thing is that you broke. Now, since I'm concerned about it, on the count of three, I'm coming in." "N-No, Lulu, don't-" "Three." Luna push the door open, and took things in very quickly. Celestia's eyes were wide with indignation of having her sister barge into her bathroom, but then anypony would have that same indignation. At her hooves, however, was a pile of what looked like to be glass, something very colourful that sparked faint recognition within Luna. She approached her sister, who groaned as she drew near. "Okay, look, before you get mad at me, promise me that when you banish me to the sun, you at least give me some cookies." No banishing for you, Tia, I'm not running Equestria with Moonie and Chrys, that would be ridiculous. Anyway, I think I know what this is...Or, rather, was. "Tia. Is this...What used to be that glass vase I gave to you on one of your birthdays? The vase that I personally went to a horrible smelling pony that smelled like sulfur to learn glass-blowing from, and has been kept safe all these years until you probably tipped it over with your wings and broke it today?" With obvious reluctance, Celestia admitted to what she did. "...Yes." "Wow. I...I don't know what to say." Unfortunately for her, Celestia took these words the wrong way, and responded by staring down at the mess on the floor with a sad look, sending Luna on an immediate guilt trip. She approached her sister, and took hold of her in a hug, being careful not to step on the broken glass. "I didn't mean it like that, Tia...It's just amazing that you would keep such an ugly piece of glassware all these years." The look on Celestia's face was priceless, and Luna couldn't help but giggle at it. "No, seriously, that thing was ugly and quite frankly I'm surprised you didn't put it out of it's misery sooner." The hug was returned by Celestia, who was now leaning on her sister (who stifled a groan from having to hold up Celestia's weight). "I-I couldn't throw it away, Lulu...Y-Yes, it was undeniably ugly and most likely would blind anypony that wasn't an alicorn, but it was made from you; that's the important thing. It also held my toothbrush, once upon a time." "Aw, that's so sweet; so sweet that it makes me want to puke." Celestia pulled away from Luna, who was glad to not support her sister's weight anymore. "The toliets over there, Lulu." "I know that; you're just really fat and heavy, so I didn't want you leaning on me and accidentally crushing me when I fall over due to being unable to support your weight." Celestia's eyes narrowed. "You're evil." With a wink, Luna walked away from her sister. "You know it, Tia!" Author's Note The way I imagine Celestia singing is the Dead Space version of Twinkle twinkle little star, which is definitely something not rated E for everyone, so I advise trying not to look for the song due to the related videos that follow it (it's practically the same thing as the original song, just sung creepier, so you're not missing much) Luna doesn't like this era's song writers and singers Celestia broke a thing I don't know either
Let's defeat her, Lulu!Let's defeat her, Lulu! "Ah, a sanctuary! We should set up camp here; I doubt we'll find another sanctuary anytime soon." With murmurs of agreement, the six adventurers sat down, and began making preparations to their temporary camp at a sanctuary, a large, holy stone that somehow ended up in these dungeons. Nopony knew what these sanctuaries were doing here, nor where they came from, but ponies, griffons, changelings and all other manner of intelligent life all agreed that these sanctuaries were a dungeon delver's best friend, as they repelled monsters far, far away, ensuring a safe camp for those lucky enough to find one. One of the adventurers, a white unicorn with a pink mane, sat down next to a purple unicorn, and pulled out a journal, where she had been recording what happened in the dungeons thus far. Thankfully, she had extra pencils in the event that one broke, and many more would break before this expedition would be over. It is now day twelve of our expedition into these dungeons, filled with all sorts of dangerous monsters and traps. So far we have only found some minor treasure, nothing to boast about; some coins, enchanted jewelry, slightly magical weapons, the items that any adventurer could find in the lower levels. We still have quite a bit of supplies, so our trek will continue onward, which is good, as right now we are just breaking even, assuming members of our party don't decide to keep a few trinkets for themselves. Our party is still alive and well, thankfully, though we have had a few close calls. Sir Armour very nearly got his head decapitated, and Lady Caddy almost took an acid bath. Mage Twilight almost got touched by death when an arrow nearly hit its mark, and Chrys narrowly avoided getting impaled on a spike, had she not realized she was walking on a trap. Lulu and I are lucky to not have had too much trouble, which is quite strange; being a warrior, one would think that I would be placed into the most dangerous situations of all present, and with Lulu being a thief, well...Disarming traps sometimes doesn't go all too well, and some monsters...Aren't easy to sneak behind. As to our current moods? Well, Chrys has been complaining about her dwindling arrow supply, but there is not much we can do about that; we can only hope that she has enough arrows to last her for this entire trip, or perhaps find some arrows, somehow. Lulu is cheerful, though I know that she is troubled by our lack of progress regarding treasure. Caddy has been a brave, kind soul, wonderful in helping Sir Armour and I, and I have no doubt that she'll be a fine knight one day. Twilight is...Tense, but I'm sure that she'll be fine. As for me? Well, I'm doing fairly well, though something tells me that we're about to be in for something over our heads. I can't put my hoof on what that might be, though. Regardless, the smell of charred corn (Shining Armour really can't cook) distracts me from writing any further, so I shall break now and resume writing later...If there is a later to write about. Tia With her log finished, Tia looked over at her party, and couldn't help but grin as Sir Armour was ridiculed by his squire. "Once you're done sassing Sir Armour, Caddy, pass me a skewer and some corn." Upon her perch within the dungeon's treasure vault, a pitch dark alicorn, one of the most feared monsters of all Equestria, watched a group of adventurers feasting on some roasted corn. Snorting, she gently stroked the head of the dragon beside her. "Those fools are enjoying some corn at a sanctuary, unaware that they are running into death itself; you'd think the few adventurers I let out alive would be smart enough to scream about how evil and dangerous my dungeon is, but instead they relay tales of treasures and monsters within." The dragon beside her rolled his eyes, and picked up a gem, admiring its quality before chomping down on it. "Do you plan on letting one of these adventurers go, mistress?" "No. Prepare to incinerate them tomorrow." After a rather refreshing sleep, the group of adventurers set off on their quest. Surprisingly enough, the hallway they were travelling along seemed to grow even wider, and yet it was completely devoid of monsters. Sir Armour warily looked around him, then stopped in his tracks. "Stop." The word was said like a command, and all present obeyed it, tensing up. Indeed, there was something...'Off' about this area, though Tia could not place the words to it. "Is there something wrong, Sir Armour?" Caddy asked, and held her short sword at the ready. Sir Armour looked at his squire, and nodded. "Yes, it feels like we're walking into-" "A trap." The party of adventurers looked around to see a black alicorn walking towards them. "I'm sorry, but I've heard that line far too many times and I don't want to hear it again." The purple unicorn of the group, named Twilight, pointed at Nightmare Moon. "An alicorn! We shall do the world much good once we have rid you from this evil you have created! Prepare to die!" The alicorn whistled, and then smirked as the party suddenly felt the ground quake underneath their hooves. "You're the ones who are dying, not I." At the mentioning of the word 'dying', all the adventurers shot each other worried looks before assembling their weapons and wondering what this alicorn had up her sleeve. Tia stood a little bit in front of everyone along with Sir Armour, while Lulu stood a little bit away from the group, ready to try and engage in any trickery to ensure their survival. Chrys, too, was a small distance away, notching an arrow onto her bow and ready to release it between Nightmare Moon's eyes at the first chance she could get. Twilight mentally ran through a series of spells that she could use, either to engage this threat or to help heal a fallen member of their party, should it come to that, while Caddy stood next to Twilight, ready to defend her at any cost. They were ready. What they were not ready for, though, was the thunderous roar that shook the hallway more than the quaking ever did, and soon, a monsterous dragon came into view. With a quivering voice, Tia yelled out a battlecry, and the adventurers began their epic fight. "...And tha's why I dun liek berries no more." A mare with an eyepatch and a few scars on her face sighed as she fumbled around for the keys to the kitchen. Beside her, another mare whistled softly, amazed what she just heard. "Wow. I mean, I know something bad happened to you, but I didn't realize it was hilariously bad." The mare smacked her companion's gigantic white chef hat onto the floor, grumbling. "Ya, laugh it up, t'is funny, but ah hope ya dun repeat mah mistakes, ya hear?" The mare paused as she heard yelling in the kitchens. "Why is de door locked when I kin hear screamin'? Ya think its guards n' som' wild marshies agin?" Shrugging, the mare dusted her hat and placed it back on her head. "I don't know, but we're probably going to find out anyway and have to deal with it." "True 'nuff." The scarred mare finally found the correct key, inserted it into the slot, and turned it. Despite the fact that they lived in threat of monster marshmallows and mutated tomatoes, nothing compared to what they saw now. Nightmare Moon and and a little dragon were lying down on the ground with pie covering their forms, playing dead, while Celestia, Cadence, Shining Armour, Twilight, Luna and Chrysalis were a little ways off. Celestia, Cadence, and Shining Armour were clad in cardboard box armor, a wooden toy sword (or wooden halberd, in Celestia's case), and had some form of kitchen pot perched on their heads for helmets. Twilight, Luna, and Chrysalis were in simple white cloth that suspiciously looked like the table cloth that went on top of the table in the grand dining room, and they held a wooden staff, a wooden dagger, and a bow with plungers for arrows, respectively. "We got the treasure! Yay!" Celestia giggled, and was joined by Luna and Twilight, while Cadence and Shining Armor shared a 'victory kiss' between them. Only Chrysalis noticed the two mares standing in shock at the mess that was made in the kitchen; pie was everywhere, on the ceiling, on the floor, suspended in midair by some unseen force. She gently nudged Celestia, and gave a slight nod towards the two mares, both of which were wallowing in despair at the cleaning they'd be doing. Clearing her throat, Celestia spoke softly, with a meek tone. "I-I can explain..." Author's Note Requested by Sage Probo Twilight and Spike say hi Remember that pirate mare from 'I don't even know, Tia!' ?
Stop laughing, Tia!Stop laughing, Tia! "...And so, Quackum here then proceeded to eat the rest of her sandwich while epic sax music was playing in the background." "Quack." With a smile, Chrysalis gently nudged the duck on her head. "That's right, Quackum! Though, I really wish you had more of a reason to assault a guard; after all, they're paid and trained to protect us from evil threats so that we don't have to fight them ourselves!" "...Do I even want to know what became of the guard?" Celestia questioned, realizing that she now knew the reason of why a few guards have asked for restraining orders on Quackum, specifically the guards near the kitchen. "...You really don't, Tia. Let's just say that another bed is being occupied in the hospital, with doctors saying the guard may have a fear of ducks for the rest of his life." With a sudden splutter, Cadence snorted her Parasprite through her nose, and quickly excused herself. "S-Sorry...O-Ow..." Wincing, Celestia tried not to think about the guard and Cadence as she speared some lettuce onto her fork. The three of them were sitting in a cafe in Canterlot, enjoying the view that their current vantage point offered them. While it wasn't as grand as one of the many balconies that gave the viewer a lovely view of the castle gardens, their current view wasn't any less grand. After all, to have such a great, private view over Canterlot's main square was very hard to get, and this cafe worked hard to keep its place here, as the faint rustling of other diners reached up to the three alicorns currently dining in the room. Or two, since Cadence left the room to tend to her 'injuries'. Wanting to break the silence, Chrysalis tried to strike a conversation with the remaining alicorn in the room. "Anyway, Tia, how are we going to meet with the crystal ponies and their request for some extra supplies? They're asking a fair lot from us." Celestia didn't answer her immediately as she speared another leaf of lettuce, observing it before setting her fork down with a sigh. "I don't know; and that's the problem. I want to help Cadence, Shining Armor and their ponies, but I also cannot anger our farmers and business owners by asking them to make excess supplies for the crystal ponies; they would lose far too much profit, and that's something I certainly wouldn't want to do that. We've also sent them quite a large amount of supplies so far, so there's bound to be ponies crying out that I am helping 'too much'. There's just no possible way to please both groups at the same time." Quackum jumped off of Chrysalis' head, and proceeded to waddle around on the table, though she had the sense not to walk on the food. Chrysalis shot Quackum a stern glare before addressing Celestia. "Well, why not have the crystal ponies pay for the supplies? I understand their economy is very unstable, but I'm sure they could cough up something. I mean, crystal ponies, living in the crystal empire, that sounds like a lot of crystals." "The problem with that is the fact that crystals are of low monetary value since there's such an excess amount of them in the Crystal empire. There's also not much demand for crystals anyway, so they are worth virtually nothing." "So much for that." At the end of Chrysalis' words, hoof steps were heard, drawing near them. The voice belonging to those hooves called out, sounding very embarrassed. "S-Sorry, auntie Tia, Chrys." "It's quite alright, Caddy, I understand that must have been...'Painful'." Celestia looked up to see a red faced Cadence, who sat back down on her seat, pushing her plate away. "I'm...Not hungry anymore. So, auntie Tia...What are you going to do about our current situation?" There's nothing much I can do. Unless... The beginnings of a plan formed in Celestia's mind, and she quickly went through the pros and cons of such an idea. "Hmm..." On one hoof, I gain virtually nothing from this and my ponies get angry at me, as well as losing a little political support. On the other, certain farms and factories such as Applejack's farm and Fancy Pants' assets are still willing to donate to the crystal empire, so it won't be too much of a strain for the big, multi-bit companies that have supplied the most. I also get a laugh out of this, which is worth a lot. "Oh, look, Tia is actually thinking for once." The jab came from Chrysalis, who was trying to get Quackum off the ceiling with a plunger. "Shut up, Chrys. Caddy, I was thinking...I may be able to pull a few more strings and send you the supplies that your ponies need, though, of course, there is something I must ask of you first." With a sigh, Cadence rubbed the base of her horn. I hate playing these political games with my auntie...She's so much better at them than I am. She also asks for things that are just slightly pushing it, but I have no choice. "Very well, for my ponies. Within reason, of course." "This will perfectly be within your abilities, Caddy, I assure you. I simply want you to deeply kiss Shining Armor." The look on disbelief was something that Celestia would forever treasure. "Uh, okay? I mean, he is my husband, auntie..." Here comes the punchline. "Ah, yes, that's true! However, I didn't say 'I want you to deeply kiss your husband Shining Armor." What is she...Wait... Cadence's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You aren't possibly implying that..." With a look over towards Chrysalis, Celestia began snickering. "Oh yes, I'm implying that." "Wait, what?" Chrysalis had just taken Quackum off of the ceiling, and only heard the end of what the two alicorns were talking about. "Did I miss something important?" "You did." Celestia smirked at Cadence, enjoying the look of indecision on her face. "Your move, niece; after all, they really do need those supplies, and you're getting them virtually free!." You have got to be kidding me. Cadence watched Celestia's smug grin, then looked over to Chrysalis' questioning gaze before sighing explosively. To heck with it! It's just one kiss, and I'm sure we'll all soon forget about this incident. I hope. "Chrysalis, can you do me a favor?" Chrysalis waved a hoof in Cadence's general direction. "Sure, Caddy. What do you want?" My husband had better not hear about this; he'll go nuts! "Could you please stand up and change into the form of my husband, Shining Armor, for a few moments, Chrys?" What an odd request. Still...I see no harm in it. Slowly, Chrysalis stood up from her chair, and focused some magic through her horn. With a dim flash of light, Chrysalis changed into Shining Armor, though, to the surprise of the other two alicorns, didn't turn into his correct gender. The result was a mare that very similarly looked like Shining Armor, who grinned sheepishly at them. "Changing into a stallion requires a lot more effort on my part, and takes far more time for something that I'm sure would be wasted. Just pretend I'm a stallion." "Well...This just got a little more interesting." Ignoring the glare of death Cadence shot at her, Celestia grabbed some popcorn and waited for Cadence to make her move. Chrysalis was more interested in the popcorn than what Cadence wanted. "Where'd you get the popcorn, Tia?" With a shrug, Celestia mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn. "I don't know." "Why do you eat something if you don't know where it came fro-" Chrysalis, now looking like a female version of Shining Armor, was suddenly swept off of her hooves by Cadence into a deep kiss that immediately sent Celestia into a world of laughter (and pain) as she fell off her chair, laughing hysterically at the scene playing out in front of her. T-This is so perfect, C-Chrys didn't see it coming a-at all! Cadence held the kiss for another ten seconds before dropping a red-faced Chrysalis on the floor (who fell with a very heavy thud), and glaring with distaste at Celestia. "Stop laughing, Tia! I-It wasn't that funny!" "Y-You should see the looks on both your faces, ahaha! T-This is priceless!" "Hmph..." At least I get my supplies; I'd go crazy if I had to hear one more crystal pony complaining that they didn't have macaroni and cheese for dinner. Author's Note Quackum has been hit by restraining orders It's painful to snort soda through your nose No I'm not shipping these two together either I need to stop with the pseudo shipping I don't think this was as funny as my previous attempts at making fun of shipping
I hope you enjoy it, Lulu!I hope you enjoy it, Lulu! I can't believe I'm actually about to do something like this. I really wish Moonie could find some other way of entertaining herself that won't end up with us getting chased by a baseball-bat-wielding Lulu. "...Okay, just to make sure I heard you right and just need to get my ears checked, what did you just say?" A bored looking Nightmare Moon rolled her eyes. "You heard me the first time, Chrys, but I'll humor you. I said, I dare you to put hot sauce in this milkshake I confiscated from a few servants. It's not that hard! We could just blame it on the servants and can pretend that we thought it was cherry syrup." The two alicorns were located just outside of Luna's bedroom, and were in the midst of performing a prank on Luna. A very simple prank, but one that promised to have very good results all the same. However, the nature of the prank was what was concerning Chrysalis. Chrysalis looked at the hot sauce bottle in her hooves, then at the milkshake. It was a mint vanilla milkshake, topped with a cherry and a rather large straw, which was a poor fit for the massive cup the milkshake was in. "You want me to put an entire bottle's worth of hot sauce into this milkshake? Why not just drink this milkshake meant for Lulu?" Nightmare Moon shrugged. "I'm not feeling particularly thirsty right now, and besides, even I couldn't down this massive milkshake by myself; I don't know where Lulu puts it all. Or Tia, for that matter. There's also the chance that mother might just order another milkshake anyway, so the effort in drinking her milkshake would just be wasted and give me a stomach ache." ...Huh, she actually thought this prank out, somewhat. I have to give her credit for that. With a nod, Chrysalis broke the seal that prevented her from opening up the bottle of hot sauce. "Fine, but I'm blaming you if she realizes that we pranked her." "Fair enough, I'll take the blame if things go bad. Now, put the hot sauce in!" I can tell I'm going to regret this course of action soon enough, like I have with the rest of these pranks. With a pop, Chrysalis opened up the bottle of hot sauce, and poured it all over on top of the milkshake, and to a pony's eyes, they really would have thought that it was a cherry syrup topping. Chrysalis watched as the hot sauce continued to flow down onto the milkshake, covering it with its fiery red sauce. Soon, with a wheezing noise coming from the bottle, both alicorns knew that the bottle of hot sauce was finally emptied onto the milkshake. "Alright; let's go!" With slow movements, Nightmare Moon moved up towards Luna's bedroom, not wanting to spill the milkshake on the floor. Chrysalis followed up from behind, hoping that Nightmare Moon would take the brunt of the force Luna was sure to unleash upon them. After all, they were playing a prank on Luna, who had let slip that she couldn't handle her hot sauce last night. Apparently, Nightmare Moon was going to make a prank out of it. As Nightmare Moon reached Luna's door, she began to knock upon it. One knock. Two knocks. Luna's voice was heard before Nightmare Moon tried again for a triple knock and completing the combo. "Yes, who is that?" Even though the door was closed, Nightmare Moon smiled innocently, knowing that first impressions were the first thing in a successful prank. "It's me, mother, with Chrys! We got a milkshake with cherry syrup topping for you! I hope you enjoy it, Lulu!" In an instant, the door opened, and Luna grinned widely, welcoming them in. "Great! I've been dying for something sweet to drink; it's about time I got it, and delivered by you, no less!" She levitated the milkshake off from the giant serving tray that was balanced on Nightmare Moon's back, and set it down next to her desk. "I didn't ask for the cherry syrup, though. Did you put it on, Moonie?" Chrysalis could only watch in horror as Nightmare Moon shook her head. "No! It was Chrys! I suggested it, though!" Traitor. You said you'd take the blame! Unfortunately, Chrysalis could only wince as Luna hugged her, knowing that things were only going to get worse for her. "Well, that's very sweet of you, the both of you! I can't wait to drink this milkshake! Literally!" With gusto, Luna grabbed the straw that was embedded in the milkshake, and promptly went to work on demolishing the massive milkshake at a speed that impressed the other two alicorns present. What amazed Chrysalis the most, however, was the fact that Luna was showing absolutely no reaction to the hot sauce at all. She didn't even stop chugging the thing! Gently, she nudged Nightmare Moon. "Is this supposed to happen?" With a shrug, Nightmare Moon frowned. "I'm not too sure myself. I'm wondering if I grabbed really weak hot sauce." Well, this was one dumb prank. Can I even give it the dignity of being called a prank anymore? A sudden noise made Chrysalis switch her gaze to Luna, who happily let go of her poor, abused straw, which had just taken an entire milkshake in roughly thirty seconds. Suddenly, Luna turned around to look at them a questioning gaze. "Ah, that milkshake has been demolished without me getting brain freeze! It also tasted like hot sauce, and not cherry syrup. Mind explaining this to me?" Seeing that there was no point to it all anymore, Chrysalis groaned as she began to explain what happened. "It wasn't cherry syrup; Moonie here made me pour hot sauce over your milkshake since she wanted to prank you after hearing that you couldn't handle your hot sauce last night." That seemed to satisfy Luna, and she poked at the straw in the empty milkshake container. "Ah, I see; that makes sense, I was wondering why it tasted slightly salty and not sweet." At that, Nightmare Moon began shrieking at Luna. "S-Salty?! It just tasted salty to you?! I thought you said you couldn't hold your hot sauce!" A perplexed Luna tilted her head slightly, wondering why she was getting shouted at. "I'm telling the truth, I really can't hold my hot sauce! Compared to Tia, anyway. She always beat me in hot sauce drinking competitions! I can only hold about a barrel of hot sauce while she can drink oceans of it!" Chrysalis rubbed the base of her horn, trying to get rid of the headache that was beginning to hurt. "Nice going, Moonie..." Author's Note Based on a true story that happened to me Hot sauce really does look like cherry syrup topping to me Celestia pours three bottles worth of hot sauce on her food daily
You're a cheater, Tia!You're a cheater, Tia! Of all possible games I get to pick for game night, it has to be this one; friendships will be tested, wars will be fought, and romance...Eh, who cares about the romance? I just want to win! ...And so do three other alicorns, fighting for the prize...This is going to be historical! We shall begin with the gaming! Currently, Celestia, Luna, Chrysalis, and Nightmare Moon were gathered inside of Luna's room, to begin playing what could be considered the polar opposite of the Elements of Harmony, as this was known to break friend-ships faster than Quackum could quack; it was none other than Pony Party. All four alicorns were sitting in a massive couch that could seat all for of them (and could double as a bed when needed), along with the snacks placed on a table that were, of course, absolutely necessary for something like Pony Party. Many were fooled by its simple gameplay and promises of a good, fun time with friends, and unfortunately, those that fell for such a trap often ended up arguing and getting into fights, sometimes escalating into so much more. Pony Party was even put on trial for unintentionally being a rather destructive game to the relationships of other ponies, though the trial failed. Regardless, the game had an infamous reputation, so of course Luna was drawn towards purchasing it; after all, a controversial game like this was legendary! Now, Luna was eagerly anticipating the kind of fun they'd have in playing the game; after all, despite the fact that the game provoked uncontrollable rage in ponies, they were alicorns! They were above pitiful arguments over a game! She was especially happy by the fact that earlier, she had sabotaged Celestia's controller, so there was a chance for even more hilarious things to happen tonight! Her poor sister wouldn't know what would hit her. "Right, everypony ready?" A set of three nods answered Luna's question. "Alright then, pick your ponies, and let's go!" Luna called out, and flicked her controller upwards to chose a pony in red clothing. "Ahem; some of us here are changelings." Chrysalis playfully poked at Luna while picking another pony that was similar to Luna's pony, but dressed in yellow instead. "I don't think she particularly cares, Chrys." Nightmare Moon chose a pony that was in a pink dress, and smiled. "Neither do I, for that matter." "Oh, shush, you two. Lulu, is there a reason why my controller isn't working?" Celestia tried to operate her controller, but to no avail, as the character selection screen timer timed out, and she was automatically given a pony in green clothing. With a straight face, Luna cast a frown at the controller she sabotaged. "I'm not sure, Tia. Try and figure out what's wrong with it, quickly, before you get into a mini-game. I know none of my controllers are broken." Unfortunately, a few minutes into the game, Celestia still didn't know what was wrong with the controller, and she was up against Chrysalis, in a mini-game that tasked her to avoid rocks in space. It wouldn't have been a problem, if her controller actually worked. "This is going to be an easy win." Chrysalis crowed, popping a few chips into her mouth as she eagerly awaited for the game to start. Celestia groaned as she watched the mini-game start, without her participating in it. "Well, that's just not fair!" As the mini-game played out, to every alicorn's surprise, Celestia actually won, much to Chrysalis' embarrassment. Luna herself was seething inside; her sister had won by doing nothing! That was not supposed to happen! "You're a cheater, Tia! There's no way you could have won against Chrys by doing nothing!" Shrugging, Celestia began drinking her slurpee, just as surprised as the other alicorns. "I know I'm not cheating, because my controller still isn't working!" The game continued on with the next mini-game, and Celestia picked up her controller again, trying to make her character move to avoid getting hit by giant spiked balls thrown by an oversized turtle. "Are you sure nothing's wrong with this controller, Lulu?" "Quite sure! Unless you suddenly broke it somehow, Tia! I...I-I..." With wide eyes and an open mouth, Luna trailed off her sentence as her sister won once again, by doing nothing. I...This is just luck! Tia will lose eventually! Yeah, eventually. Unfortunately for Luna, her plan backfired with every mini-game that followed, with Celestia winning simply by doing nothing. No matter what, Celestia won, and the fact that Celestia had just given up on trying to make her controller work and was instead watching them lose was just the ultimate insult to Luna. This was frustrating to the other alicorns, though none of them noticed the tension that was gathering inside Luna's room as a result of Luna's sabotage. "And she won. Again. Without doing anything." Chrysalis sighed, and set her controller down. "Now I've seen everything." "You sure this game isn't rigged? It looks like it." Nightmare Moon scowled as she got up from the sofa. "Moment, I'm grabbing more chips." "I want some more poptarts." Chrysalis got off the sofa as well to replenish her supply of poptarts over by the dwindling snack table. I can't help but think that all of this was my fault now. Glumly, Luna looked over at Celestia, who was innocently eating some noodles. "Tia, how can you possibly win nearly every game by doing absolutely nothing?" "I don't know. Maybe you could tell me why you sabotaged my controller in an attempt to play a joke on me that horribly backfired on you." Celestia's words were just loud enough to reach Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon, who dropped their snacks onto the floor, staring at Luna with mixed confusion and anger. With the cat out of the bag, Luna knew that her life was quickly on the line. "S-Sabotage? Don't be s-silly, Tia, I would neve-" "I saw you tampering with a battery pack when I looked out my balcony from my room last night, and I assume that battery pack is in my controller, Lulu." Celestia then bit into a cookie before frowning slightly. "Oh, I think Moonie and Chrys want a word with you." Well, that's the end of me. Luna watched as Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon advanced on her, both with angry expressions on their faces. I lived a good life. Author's Note Mario Party tests friendship like no other Except maybe Twister Celestia wins by doing nothing Based off of 'Luigi wins by doing absolutely nothing' This chapter also feels a lot different, probably because there's no real joke to be found
No, wait, stop, Lulu!No, wait, stop, Lulu! Ah, sports! It's been awhile since I've done anything with my sister and a few friends, so this should be interesting... Currently, one of the castle's gyms was being used to host a dodge-ball game for two teams. On one side of the gym, Team Tia was assembled, consisting of Celestia, Elhaym, Twilight Sparkle, Chrysalis, Applejack and Fluttershy, of Team Cheesecake. On the other side of the gym, Team Lulu was quietly discussing tactics, and they consisted of Luna, Nightmare Moon, Rainbow Dash, Spitfire (who Rainbow Dash was practically drooling over), Cadence, and Shining Armour, of Team Moonpie. Both teams were on separate sides of the gym, and the bleachers were packed, full of guards and other staff members of the castle who were on break, eager for the carnage to begin. After all, it's not everyday you see some of the most powerful and inspiring ponies play a dodge-ball game. Rarity was currently acting as one of the referees, as she had no wish to get hit in the face with a dodge-ball. Surprisingly enough, Pinkie Pie didn't want to play, either, though that was because somepony needed to bring out the snacks, and Pinkie Pie could be seen all around the sidelines, popping up out of nowhere to offer drinks, popcorn, whatever the pony seemed to want at the moment. Those who didn't question how the pink blur suddenly managed to appear next to them did question how they managed to get service so fast, and would forever ponder that. With a shrill whistle sounding out, both teams looked up to see Rarity holding a whistle in her magical grasp. Once she had everypony's attention, she strode down to the middle of the gym, and beckoned for both teams to come over. Celestia shot Luna a sly wink before striding over with her team, and Luna could only grin as her team also made their way over. Rarity cleared her throat before sounding off the rules of the game. "Right, these are the rules! I don't want anypony trying to find a way around these rules, and you know I have an eye for detail, so nothing is going to get past me. No magic (this was met with a whine from Twilight Sparkle), no flying (Rainbow Dash nearly died from that rule), no cursing, no cheating, no stepping over your side of the field, and you must start at the ends of the gym, where upon when I blow my whistle, you run to the balls located in the center and...Ugh, use them to bludgeon each other to death. Upon getting hit by a ball, you're out, and must move to the sidelines. Catching a ball from an opposing player will let you bring back a teammate who has been hit earlier, and the pony who threw the ball that you caught is out. If you get hit by a ball but manage to catch it before it hits the floor, the former rule applies. Any other rules can and may be made on the spot if it looks like unfair play to another team, and I reserve the right to call off the game in the event that somepony gets severely injured. Are my rules agreeable and fair?" A wave of nods and murmurs of agreements satisfied Rarity. "Very well then. Return to the back of your team's side and await my whistle." Both teams slowly made their way on over back to their side of the gym, and Rarity walked away, nodding to several attendants, who took that as their cue to lay out the balls that were going to be used in the game. There were eight in all, spread out on the line that separated both teams. Once placed down, Rarity held her hooves up, and silence overtook the entire gym. Horrified that all eyes were on her while she was wearing such a tacky referee uniform, Rarity levitated the whistle up to her mouth, and blew on it, sending out the shrill sounding noise that started the game. With a speed that rivaled sound, Celestia ran up to the center, picking up a ball at the same time that Luna did. Both locked eyes with each other and immediately let loose with their projectiles. Since they were both close to each other, there was no missing for either of them. Celestia's ball hit Luna square in the face, while Luna's ball was impaled on Celestia's horn, deflating immediately with a bang. "Princess Celestia, out! Princess Luna, out! Somepony get another ball in!" Both alicorns glared at one another before retreating to their sidelines. Rainbow Dash, meanwhile, was the second to reach the balls, and she as she grabbed one, she let it fly, hitting Elhaym in the chest and almost hitting Twilight Sparkle in the face as it rebounded. "Rainbow Dash, out!" Rarity's call was unappreciated by Rainbow Dash. "WHAT?! I'm not the one who got hit by a ball!" "You stepped over the line, get out!" Looking down, Rainbow Dash saw that she indeed stepped over the line, and she smacked herself in the face with a wing before trudging over to join Luna. By now, all participants in the game wised up to the dangers of throwing a ball so close to another player or the line, and had begun to back up slightly with their balls before letting them loose. This crossfire was exchanged for awhile, and the crowd was on the edge of their seats, wondering what would happen net. After throwing herself onto the floor to avoid a ball, Spitfire grabbed a ball, tossing it over to Shining Armour. "Captain, throw that ball up lazily, where anypony can catch it; I'll do the rest." "Heh, sounds like a plan." Shining Armour tossed the ball up in a low arc at Applejack, who smirked at the seemingly easy catch that she was about to get. Unfortunately for her, since her attention was on the ball, she didn't see Spitfire's thrown ball, which impacted her in the chest, causing her to take a step back and missing the ball thrown by Shining Armour. "Applejack, out!" "Bah!" Applejack stomped out of the field. Chrysalis noticed the trick that Spitfire and Shining Armor performed on the farmer, and she kept that in mind as Shining Armor threw the ball up lazily. Chrysalis pretended to have her concentration on the ball thrown overhead, but quickly made a grab at Spitfire's thrown ball, which was sucessful. Shining Armour's ball landed a few inches away from the alicorn, who stuck her tongue out at the two; unfortunately, karma was out to get her, as she was hit with a ball from Cadence. "Spitfire, out! Princess Celestia, you're back in! Chrysalis, out!" Celestia gave Chrysalis a grateful nod before going back into the game, dodging a ball thrown by Nightmare Moon; however, that very ball impacted Elhaym, who didn't see the ball that went flying in her direction. "Elhaym, out!" "Aw, shucks." The guard left the playing stage, leaving behind Fluttershy (who everypony was surprised at lasting this long), Celestia, and Twilight Sparkle, against Shining Armour, Cadence, and Nightmare Moon. With half of each team out, the balls weren't flying around as thickly anymore. Twilight Sparkle squeaked with fear as Cadence and Shining Armour started an unrelenting attack on her, throwing balls that Twilight could barely avoid. Her few returning shots were very pitiful, as she had very small windows of opportunity to return fire. In the end, Cadence realized that it would be far easier to just catch one of Twilight's weak throws. "Twilight Sparkle, out! Princess Luna, you're back in!" "I don't even like sports! Why did I agree to this?!" Twilight Sparkle walked off the playing field, and Luna eagerly scrambled back into it. So, we're back in again, eh, Lulu? Celestia grinned as she picked up a ball and flung it at Cadence. Shining Armour, however, took the ball for his wife, sparking a series of gasps from the crowd and from Cadence. Even Rarity had trouble not being moved by the scene in front of her, and she wiped a tear from her right eye as she spoke her words. "Shining Armour...O-Out." Cadence was not taking her husband's sacrifice well, as her tear-stained face was enough to say. "Shiny! Why?! That ball was meant for me! Y-You didn't have to do such a thing! W-Why, why?!" Shining Armour looked up at her with a faint smile, and reached out with a hoof to touch his wife's face. "Because I lov-" The moment was utterly ruined as a ball impacted Cadence in the face. "All's fair in love and war!" Crowed Celestia, as she readied another ball. "...Cadence, out." Shining Armour groaned as his plan backfired on the both of them. "Oh, come on! I was sure that was going to work! You needed to be more convincing, Caddy!" "Excuse me?! Who was the one that tried to act like an overly dramatic diva just now?!" The couple bickered with one another as they left the floor, and Luna sighed as she began trading balls with Celestia. "I have to admit, Tia, it was smart of you to ignore those two!" "You have to learn to be very observant of your surroundings, Lulu." As she said that, irony caught up with her in full force as she tripped on a ball that she didn't see, sprawling out on the floor and causing an impact that made more than a few ponies wince. Even more unfortunate was the fact that Celestia was very, very close to the line that separated the two teams. Taking the opportunity presented to her, Luna quickly ran up to her sister, and grinned down upon her as she prepared to fling a hastily grabbed ball down upon her sister. "It ends now, Tia! I shall win and take your cheesecake!" Horror and scenes of unimaginable things happening to her cheesecakes flashed by Celestia's eyes, and she held a hoof up to shield her face, knowing that her end was near. "No, wait, stop, Lulu! I-I'll do anything for you!" "It's too late to try and trade promises and services, Tia! Now, I shall have my revenge!" Luna threw the ball down on Celestia, who whimpered as it impacted her rump, adding insult to injury. Luna then laughed loudly (and extremely creepily), enjoying the sweet, sweet joy of having bested her sister. That joy, however, was short-lived, as she felt an extremely soft impact against her side. Her laughing ceased and she looked with wide eyes at the pony who threw the ball, which was one Fluttershy, who, after all this time, was still in. "Princess Celestia, out! Princess Luna, out! Team Cheesecake wins!" Author's Note Requested by Zamairiac Drama on the battlefield is possible even if it's filled with balls Luna is merciless Fluttershy wins it for the team I suck at describing dodge-ball
She's sleeping, Lulu!She's sleeping, Lulu! Popcorn? Check. Hilariously terrible and cheesy movie about how Twilight Sparkle and her friends defeating Nightmare Moon? Check. Drinks? Check. Spending time with my nephew? Check. If one thing could be said about Celestia and Blueblood's relationship, it was that while they happened to get along very, very well with one another, they also weren't able to spend a whole lot of time together, what with crazy alicorn shenanigans and political issues taking away what little time they could spend together. Now, however, was a good time for them to be together, and they were beginning to watch a movie labeled 'Twilight Sparkle and her battle-maids against the evil Nightmare Moonpie', which stated to be 'The most accurate representation of the Elements of Harmony against Nightmare Moon'. The title alone promised lots of laughter and fun to be had for the two. With a sigh, Celestia sunk into a very comfy chair, very nearly falling asleep just by sitting down on it. Although she had made time to spend with Blueblood, her day didn't go very well for her at all, and she was tired from the usual political deal that came with being a princess. As Blueblood slipped the movie into the DVD player, he looked up at Celestia with a slight frown. "You sound very tired, auntie, judging by that sigh. Are you sure you want to watch a movie with me when you could be turning in early for the night instead? I know how depressing and energy-exhausting the nobility can be at times." With a waved hoof of dismissal, the alicorn shot down Blueblood's recommendation. "Quite sure, Bluey." Celestia stretched her hooves out, groaning with pleasure as she felt something in her back snap. "I'd rather watch a movie with you." The unconvinced look on Blueblood's face told Celestia that she really needed to take lessons in learning how to lie better. However, Blueblood didn't press the issue, and simply walked on over to his chair, and sat down in it with a grin. "Alright then, auntie, if you say so. I'll go ahead and start the movie." With a flick of his magic, he pressed 'play' on the remote control, and the two were treated to the rather overly dramatic and poorly done introduction of Twilight Sparkle, whose name was sounded out as 'Twilight Spahkul'. Unfortunately, a yawn left Celestia's mouth, betraying just how tired she was. Drat. "I-I'm sorry, Bluey, that one slipped. I'm fine." "You're such a terrible liar, auntie; we haven't made it past the first five minutes of the movie and you're yawning! Either this movie is really that bad or you're tired, and I know which one that is because I haven't started yawning myself. Or maybe you're just getting a little too old." With a cheeky grin, he winked at her before levitating some popcorn over, chewing on it with gusto. The nerve of...! Ah, he's just teasing me. I'm sure I don't need any sleep. Sleeping now would show him I'm just an old pony that needs to be tucked into bed at night like a little filly! As the night went on, however, it became apparent that Celestia was getting very, very tired. Her eyes were half-closed and yawning was becoming frequent from her; Blueblood swore that he heard more yawning than action-packed battle fighting scenes (which were decent in the movie, especially once you consider the actors were doing them in maid dresses) from the movie. Soon, though, he had enough of Celestia's stubbornness. Blueblood sighed as he got up from his chair, and turned off the television. "I think you need to get some sleep, auntie." No! I've waited for a long time to spend some time with you, and I will not have it ruined simply because you think I need sleep! I'm a princess, an alicorn, but most of all ,your aunt! "I insist, Bluey, I am perfectly fine!" "What happened in the last five minutes of the movie?" Why is this of any importance? "You were watching the movie as well, you should know!" Her nephew fixed a glare on her. "Stop dodging the question, auntie." "You little rascal...Right, what happened in the last five minutes of the movie..." Celestia trailed off, trying to remember what happened. She was drawing blanks in her mind, however. Surely it isn't this hard to remember? This is what happened in the last five minutes! Celestia's inability to answer quickly told Blueblood all her needed to know. "Auntie Tia, please, get some rest; it was obvious you had your eyes closed throughout the movie, and if you're going to do that, you might as well sleep." "I...I just need a few minutes to lay down and rest my eyes! That's all I need!" Her hasty excuse was laughable, but Blueblood merely smiled; while he often had a childish and immature air about him, he, too, could be calculating and manipulative if it suited his own needs. "Very well, auntie! Please, lay down on your bed for a moment to rest your eyes! I'll just go and get some more popcorn for us." "That sounds very...Good, Bluey." Celestia walked on over to her bed, where she flopped down upon it heavily. Her eyes started to close when something light draped over her back, and she turned her head around to see her blanket on top of her. "I don't need my blanket, Bluey." The stallion picked up the nearly empty bowl of popcorn, and explained his action. "I was just trying to make you more comfortable, auntie. Please, you deserve to be pampered out of anypony in Canterlot right now." "I...Yes, alright then, Bluey, but...But remember, only five minutes!" "Shh, auntie, get some rest." "I...Will...Just re...Remember..." Celestia's eyes closed, and not five seconds after she did so, her breathing was slowed to a very slow pace, telling Blueblood that his aunt had just fallen asleep. Smiling at his deviousness, he quietly walked out of her room, and happened to meet Luna, who was just as surprised to see him. "Bluey! Hello!" With a hiss, Blueblood tried to silence Luna. "Shh! She's sleeping, Lulu!" I'm afraid you're going to have to wait until tomorrow to ask her whatever it is." Luna groaned, and walked away with Blueblood. "I wanted my Rainbow Dash plushie back..." Author's Note Celestia and Blueblood bonding Luna's problems wait until tomorrow Blueblood needs to be in these stories more
I want it MY way, Tia!I want it MY way, Tia! "Well, that was rather fun, don't you think, Lulu?" An eager nod accompanied Luna's answer. "Yes, it was! It was so funny seeing Spitfire on fire, she must have had a lot of training and other such things for that!" "...That wasn't actually part of the show." "Oh..." I can't believe Lulu actually thought that Spitfire suddenly catching on fire was actually part of the show; despite her name, Spitfire doesn't actually spit fire. Or catch on fire. Or...Has anything to do with fire, actually. With an exasperated roll of her eyes, Celestia went into a slow dive, followed by Luna. The two of them had just come back from a Wonderbolts show in Cloudsdale, and other than Spitfire's sudden ignition, it was a wonderful show and a chance for the two alicorns to bond with each other. "Hey, Tia?" "Hm?" Celestia flew a little closer to her sister in order to hear her words better; miscommunication was common among pegasai in the air, as they couldn't fly too close to one another, and sometimes the wind would drown out what words were said, often leading to hilarious problems that could have been prevented. "I'm feeling a little hungry; do you think we can stop by a local fast-food restaurant and grab something greasy? I don't want to wait two hours in the kitchens back in Canterlot, with the chefs insisting that they have the experimental corn under control while cooking our dinner." Yeah...That certainly wasn't the best dinner I've had in ages either, and I shudder to think of what will happen tonight if we waited for our food, since they mentioned something about potatoes. "I don't mind, Lulu; in fact, I think I'd prefer going out to eat tonight. Have any place you want to go to particularly?" Luna's eyes lit up, and she nodded. "Yes! Let's go to Burger Princess, I could really go for some grilled fish burgers!" "Now that you mention it, that does sound good; lead on!" Celestia slightly sped up as she went into a slow dive, following her sister as they flew towards a fast-food restaurant that was common all around Equestria, Burger Princess. Its specialty was grilled fish burgers, a delicacy that ponies gobbled up like hotcakes. As the two princesses landed on the cloud that the restaurant was located in, their presence caused most of the ponies to bow or otherwise give respectful gestures of acknowledgement. Both princesses walked up to the surprisingly non-existent line to the bit register; that was a rare sight in Burger Princesses. As they reached the register, they were even more surprised to see that it was Rainbow Dash who was at the cash register. "Hello, princesses! Welcome to Burger Princess, how may I serve you?" Celestia was the first to speak, curious about why she was here. "Erm...A double fish burger, with cheese and tartar sauce, hay fries on the side, and a cola. Rainbow Dash, not to pry, but, why are you here? I thought you worked on the weather team." A nod was given back to Celestia as Rainbow Dash began punching (literally punching) the machine to record Celestia's order. "Yeah, true, but some of the eggheads up in Canterlot say there shouldn't be anything in Ponyville's skies for about a month, and so there's just a skeleton crew on the weather team; since I won't be doing much, I thought I might as well pick up a part-time job here. It's not so bad, actually; though, I gotta say, you don't want clean-up duty. Ever." That made sense to Celestia, and now she was curious about this clean-up duty. "Well, that sounds...Interesting. Lulu, what would you like?" For some reason, Luna took in a deep breath that spanned ten seconds, though Celestia knew why once Luna began blabbering. "I want a few dozen quadruple stacked fish burgers with mayo, hold the pickle, give me the lettuce, tomato, some fried hay strips and three different kinds of cheese layered on top of each fish patty and held together with a toothpick, grill the buns in the best vegetable oil you currently have, stack up my hay fries to the ceiling, give me tubs of ketchup and napkins galore, and empty out your Parasprite into a gigantic cup for me. For dessert, I request two dozen cookies, five slurpees, a giant chocolate cake, and an ice cream cone. Don't forget the plastic toy that comes with a filly or colt meal, and I also want you to dress up in a frilly maid outfit while you're delivering me all my food and I want you to address me as 'mistress'. To go, please." With a brow raised, Celestia looked at Rainbow Dash, who was staring at Luna with a blank expression on her face and a hoof raised up, ready to punch her register. "W-What...? I...You lost me at 'pickle', Princess Luna." With a groan, Luna opened her mouth to say everything she just said. "I want-" Luna's words didn't leave her a second time, as with a swift flick of magic, Celestia closed her sister's mouth. "Lulu will just have what I'm ordering, thank you." "...Thanks, Princess Celestia." Rainbow Dash was relieved to not have to punch the machine for everything Luna ordered, and was about to print out the receipt when Luna broke free of her sister's magic grasp on her mouth. "Tia! You cannot stop me from ordering what I want!" Celestia frowned at her sister, wondering why she was being so difficult right now. "Lulu, you cannot just ask for everything on the menu, ask for Rainbow Dash to play dress up and treat you like a superior being, as well as asking all of that to go! Can you even carry all that?" Stamping a hoof on the ground (causing the bit of cloud that her hoof impacted to poof away to non-existence), Luna whined. "Yes I can, Tia! We are superior beings anyway, and you underestimate the power of brown paper bags! I want it MY way, Tia!" You sound more whiny than Blueblood wanting chocolate milk. "What does wanting your way have to do with anything?" "It's their slogan! See?!" Luna pointed up, and Celestia followed her hoof, seeing the slogan 'Have it your way!' up above the register. "...You're not going to let me convince you otherwise, are you, Lulu?" "Nope!" With a weary sigh, Celestia looked at Rainbow Dash with sad eyes. "I am truly sorry, Rainbow Dash." "Yeah? Not as sorry as I'm going to be." With a pained look on her face, Rainbow Dash began punching her register for Luna's entire order. Author's Note I picture ponies as the vegetarians that still eat fish, you know, for protein and all that To be honest I prefer Five guys Luna wants it her way, and her way is complicated
I don't have time for this, Lulu!I don't have time for this, Lulu! I need a pay raise. A big one, at that, though that might be asking for a bit too much. No offense to princesses or anything, of course, but I'm not being paid enough to deal with what I encounter daily, nor is it enough to deal with...'Situations' like these. It certainly isn't enough to cover my insurance in the event I get mauled by something. Elhaym was currently brooding over her financial status in Luna's room, while trying to calm down the alicorn, who, for some reason, was thoroughly spooked. You'd think you'd be absolutely fearless as an alicorn; obviously, that's not the case here. "Please, Princess Luna-" "Call me Lulu, please. I will also not calm down! Y-You didn't see t-that...Thing! You have no idea of the horror I have seen! It's out there, somewhere, in my room in this very instance!" With a sigh, Elhaym looked around the massive room, trying to find the 'thing' Luna was speaking of. It had apparently snuck up behind the lunar princess as she was unwrapping her last package of holiday flavoured moon pies. Her scan of the darkened room came up with nothing, and flatly stared at the cowering alicorn. "I don't see anything that isn't where it belongs, Prin- Lulu." Frantically, Princess Luna was looking about in her room, trying to find the source of her trouble, wondering where such a thing could have gone. "You know not what you speak of, Elhaym! It was here! Bothering me! Scaring me! I cannot eat in safety if that thing continues to walk about, safe within the shadows!" That...Doesn't make any sense, though. Your room is dark, and I can hardly see anything, much less something stalking you in the dark! "...Is that why it's so dark in here and there's very little light?" "Precisely! You're very smart, Elhaym!" "...Wouldn't it make more sense to turn on the lights and then try to find this thing? Right now, if this 'thing' wanted, it could wait safely in the shadows to strike at you when it's ready." "I feel safer in the shadows! Princess of the moon, remember?" That wasn't obvious enough to me yet. Elhaym was about to leave the alicorn to her doom when she heard a faint munching. Are you seriously eating right now? I thought you were afraid. "Lulu, are you really eating a moon pie during what you consider to be an emergency for you? I can hear the crunch." The response given was not one Elhaym was expecting or wanted. "I...Thought that was you eating a moon pie." A silence descended upon them, with the munching of moon pies in the background scaring the both of them. Slowly, through sheer willpower, Elhaym managed to slowly edge herself over to Luna. "Listen, I'm going to turn on this lamp and just find out what the heck is that thing." "No, don-" "I don't have time for this, Lulu!" Elhaym shouted in exasperation, and turned the lamp on. The incoming light that flooded the room was a relief to the bat pony, and she quickly scanned Luna's room for the threat that was creeping her out. As it turned out, Luna had every reason to be afraid. A very large, very frightening, and very hungry looking black jaguar was in Luna's room, munching on her moon pies and looking up at the two with a curious expression on its face. It waved a paw at them before returning to its meal. Elhaym stared at the panther for a little while longer before looking at Luna, then shouting at her. "How does a jaguar show up in your room?!" Luna's answer was less than satisfactory for Elhaym. "How should I know?! I certainly didn't ask for a jaguar to be sent up into my room!" "Well, this is just-" Something rubbed up against her side, and Elhaym cringed, wondering if her life was about to end right there and then. Surprisingly, for the ponies, the jaguar was actually giving what seemed to be a purr as it rubbed up against Elhaym, and the guard couldn't help but give the jaguar a few pats on the head, wondering what was happening to her right now. I...Okay, I think I'm not going to die yet. Maybe. It depends if it's actually snuggling with me, or just trying to lull me into a false sense of security. "Lulu...Uh, what do I do with the jaguar? It...Seems to like me." "I don't know, just don't let that thing near my moon pies! She devastated my special holiday flavour moon pies! WHY! WHY?!" Luna began sobbing as she saw the carnage wrecked upon her moon pies, unable to take in the sight that would forever be burned into her eyes. Elhaym and the jaguar stare at the grieving alicorn together, until something clicked in Elhaym's mind. "She, eh?" Elhaym looked down at the jaguar, and saw eyes full of intelligence staring back up at her. "Well, Lulu seemed to figure out your gender quickly, and I see no reason why you aren't female. I should give you a name...How about I call you Wayang? It means 'Shadow', and I think it would fit you perfectly, since, well, you hid really, really well in the shadows as you freaked Luna and I out." The jaguar seemed to enjoy that name, as it purred louder before nuzzling her face. Laughing, Elhaym tried to stop the jaguar as it continued to nuzzle her face. "S-Stop! H-hahaha, that tickles! L-Luna, do something!" As it turned out, Luna did do something, though it wasn't what Elhaym was asking for. The alicorn panicked, and ran out of the room, screaming. "Guards! I need some guards! A jaguar is eating Elhaym's face off!" Author's Note Trouble in Luna's room It's a jaguar Elhaym now has an overgrown house cat she can ride into battle with
Yes, and big explosions, Tia! (Colgate Arc)Yes, and big explosions, Tia! (Colgate Arc) You know, you'd think that I'd keep better tabs on my ponies, but when all is said and done, I'm just a pony, just like the rest of them, which is probably why this happened. Quietly, Celestia was observing Blueblood, who was content in staring back at her with a slight frown on his face. Despite his singed and sooty fur and his unamused look towards me, he doesn't appear any worse for wear, though obviously that's not the case for the chair he's sitting on right now. "I'm very sorry to hear that things went badly at Twilight's home." A thoughtful expression erased Blueblood's frown from his face, and he spoke after what seemed to be much consideration on his part. "Well...It wasn't too bad, all things considered, but auntie, can you please warn me of the projects you send to Sparky? As much as I'd like to help her, I'd rather not participate in one where there's a rather large chance that there will be explosions and ponies dressed up as poptarts flying by us." "Oh, of course, I'll...Wait, ponies dressed up as poptarts?" What the heck is he going on about? "Yes, and big explosions, Tia! You'll probably hear about it in the news sometime tomorrow, auntie, but, I'll continue..." "Oh, Twilight, you're doing the experiment all wrong!" Blueblood and Colgate paused before pouring their respective reactants and catalysts in, and Twilight set aside her notepad to cross her hooves and look at Pinkie Pie with a frown. "How is this experiment wrong? We're testing to see if this new carbonated candy is safe enough to eat while also drinking soda!" Pinkie bounced on over to Blueblood and Colgate, smiling widely. "That's what you're doing wrong! You're testing a myth whispered by the candy company manufacturers! It's just candy and soda! There's no possible way for anything to happen, watch!" Pinkie Pie grabbed the bottle of cola from a startled Colgate, and Blueblood took a step back, not wanting to get in the way of the party pony. In hindsight, however, he should have blocked her from attempting to reach the poprocks. "This can't go well." Colgate muttered, and Blueblood nodded slowly, agreeing with her as Twilight tried to stop Pinkie Pie. Unfortunately, she couldn't stop the physics defying pony. "Down she goes!" Pinkie Pie opened up the bottle of cola, and poured the entire thing down on the sample of poprocks. On instinct, Blueblood, Colgate, and Twilight hit the floor, not wanting to expose themselves to whatever happened once the cola hit the poprocks. A sinister sizzling sound and pops were heard, causing Pinkie Pie to giggle. "See?! That wasn't so bad; just a really scary sizzling sound and popping! Poprocks and cola can mix together!" "Pinkie!" Twilight shouted in exasperation, "Pinkie, what have you done?! Those are poprocks that have been magically carbonated, not the standard poprocks carbonated through a candy machine! That soda has also been magically carbonated! The experiment was to see if magically carbonated substances could combine with one another without blowing up!" "Oh. Oops." Pinkie Pie stared at the sizzling mess she made, then joined Blueblood and Twilight on the floor. "Twitchy, twitchy! Something's going to ex-" Indeed, the mixture of magically carbonated poprocks and soda not only exploded, but caught on fire as well, causing Twilight to go hysterical. "W-We gotta get outta here!" Don't have to tell me twice! Blueblood scrambled up to his feet, ignoring the slight pain he felt from sparks and embers being thrown at him as he ran up the stairs, followed by Twilight and Pinkie Pie. The flames were licking up the walls of the tree, and soon, little bits and pieces began falling down, creating a hazard that was not too easily avoidable for the ponies, though Blueblood was the one who brunt the worst of it. Smoke was beginning to ascend with the ponies, and breathing was beginning to get slightly difficult. They did, however, manage to safely ascend to Twilight's living room, and scrambled to the door that led outside. Well...The worst of it is behind us, now, I- A massive explosion from within the lab caused the entire tree to go up in flames, and the shockwave caused Blueblood to fall down on his rump, hard. His hurting backside, however, was ignored in favor of gaping at what was once considered to be Twilight's home entirely go up in flames, looking like a sick bonfire. "O-Oh dear..." This, of course, was nothing compared to Twilight's reaction. "My books! My home! My books! My lab! My books!" Pinkie Pie, surprisingly enough, had a smile on her face, and gently nudged Twilight. "Oh, don't be sad, Twilight! You told me yourself you enchanted your bookshelves and by extension, the books in those book shelves to be completely fire-proof after you realized Spikey could burn your collection of romantic novels in one go with a sneeze! Your books are safe!" "Y-You're...You're right, Pinkie!" Twilight grabbed Pinkie and began bouncing up and down with her, and Blueblood couldn't help but stare at his foalhood friend happily bouncing with another friend while her home was burning down. It made for a rather...Interesting sight, to say the least. You...Care more for your books than your home? That's...A very odd sense of priorities. A female voice from behind nearly gave him a heart attack as he wondered why Twilight would put so much safety upon her books. "Duuuude. What happened?" Blueblood turned around to see Rainbow Dash, though the pegasus was clad in what appeared to be a poptart costume. Today is just getting ridiculous, and I've had more than enough of this! "Why are you dressed up as a popta-" The pegasus was quick to react to Blueblood's words, shoving her face in his. "Have something against poptarts?!" "...No, but why are you in...?" With a sigh, Rainbow Dash pointed at a nearby boutique. "Had the costume made for a fundraiser to promote how delicious poptarts are and their new rainbow splash flavour, and, well, I was the obvious choice for this, sadly. There's a few more pegasai dressed up as poptarts, too, in the air." She waved a hoof up at the air, and indeed, there were multiple pegasi dressed up in poptarts, circling the burning tree at a safe distance. "Err...Isn't it...Weird, though? To dress up as a poptart, I mean." Rainbow Dash nodded, shuddering. "Yeah, it is, but it's a few more bits though! I'd chat with ya more, but I think I need to chat with Twilight first." Blueblood rolled his eyes as the pegasus approached Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie, exchanging words with each other. I'll never look a poptart the same again. Wait...Aren't we forgetting... A gasp left him, and he approached Twilight with alarm in his eyes. "Twilight! Where's Colgate?! I didn't notice her leaving with us!" A startled gasp left Twilight, and she looked back at her burning home fearfully, with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie looking at each other with uncertainty in their eyes. "D-Do you think she's still...?" "Outta the way, ponies, the fire fighters are here!" Blueblood turned to the sound of the voice, and looked on in disbelief as he saw Colgate, without any singes or soot on her fur, the lab coat and goggles were gone, and she was leading a group of fire fighters to the scene. I...But, I didn't see you escape with us...Hmm... Regardless of his personal curiosity in wondering how Colgate managed to leave the library, it was put aside for relief as the fire fighters began the attempt to douse the fire with water. Pinkie Pie immediately ran up to Colgate, her hooves thrown open for a hug. "Oh, that was really, reaaaaaaally good timing, Colgate!" A grin was on Colgate's face as she hugged Pinkie Pie. "Yeah! I just know when to get things done on time!" Excusing herself for a moment, Twilight Sparkle walked on over to Blueblood, and she spoke softly to him. "You're wondering how, aren't you, Bluey?" Blueblood spoke just as softly, making a slight nod towards Colgate. "About how Colgate managed to leave your home quickly, as well as managing to contact the fire ponies as well?" With a nod of affirmation, Twilight sat down next to him, then gazed at her still burning home. "Yes. This isn't the first time Colgate suddenly appeared with the right tools or ponies for something; it's something of a town legend, where Colgate just so happens to have the right timing for everything." "Hmm...That does sound strange. You know, I-" Celestia was confused as Blueblood suddenly stopped speaking. "Is that the end of the tale?" That seems to be a rather...Abrupt ending. "No, because then I was mauled by one Rarity, who was dressed up as a marshmallow." Author's Note Poprocks and soda urban legend Pinkie Pie doesn't know what she's getting into Poptarts are sponsors of the Wonderbolts Colgate is very suspicious
Share, Lulu!Share, Lulu! They're getting closer...They are nearly through the gates, but I will not let them take what is rightfully mine! They shall not take away what I love, never ever! They will have to go through me, first, and I will not make it easy for them to do so! Fighting will happen for every inch of ground that they need in order to approach me, I- "I gotta go use the restroom, Lulu." Luna shot a nasty look at Elhaym, who was unfazed as she stared back with an unamused look at her superior. With a sigh, Luna waved a hoof, and Elhaym quickly shot out from her spot with a white flag. "Cease-fire, I have to use the restroom!" Wayang looked over at Luna with what could be considered a grin (a very scary looking one), and nuzzled Luna's side, unaware of the fact that her mistress was about to get hit with a barrage of pillows. Waving a hoof at where Elhaym had gone, Luna spoke softly, with a sad tone in her voice. "Wayang, does she not know of the dangers out there?! She knows not what she's getting into. Why, I doubt they'd-" Celestia's voice interrupted her. "Okay, you got ten minutes, Elhaym, then we'll resume the war! Lulu, I kind of need a break as well; we've been at this for hours." Everything's out to stop me from making this dramatic, isn't it? Oh well, I guess a break is in session, so I might as well make the most of it. Wayang seemed to think so, too, as she bounded out of the pillow fort that Luna made with Elhaym, seemingly wanting a break too (even though Wayang hadn't really done anything other than lounge around the fort). Luna followed Wayang out of the fort, and she saw Celestia and Cadence leave their pillow fort as well, heading towards a table with a magical barrier around it, designed to keep pillows out from it. On that table was an array of snacks, perfect for a pillow fight late at night. Hmm...Now, what to eat? There's quite a nice selection of snacks laid out... There was popcorn, poptarts, toast, little candies and chocolates, moon pies, all manners of baked goods, and even a few slices of cheesecake, all along the table, just enticing anypony to come around and take something from it. The one thing I don't like is the fact that we have so many snacks! Sure, we eat them all in the end, but that doesn't mean we need to bring around twenty different items. Luna picked up a small package, which contained two strawberry poptarts. She pulled out one of them, and bit into it. She watched as Cadence and Celestia wandered around the snack table, looking confused. "Caddy? Where is that package of poptarts?" Luna looked down at the poptart she was eating, and groaned. Oh, sure, SURE, I just happened to pick up the poptarts, and soon, there will be some kind of argument that happens that I unintentionally caused. Nice going, Lulu! Luna was spot on for her prediction, as Cadence looked over at her. "Lulu's eating a poptart, auntie!" "Share, Lulu!" Celestia and Cadence were immediately at Luna's side, looking down at the last poptart (having seemingly both mentally agree that it was only fair to let Luna eat the poptart she was attempting to eat right now). "Caddy, as your aunt, I-" "No!" Cadence growled at Celestia, who widened her eyes at such an aggressive noise towards her. "That poptart is mine! I may have eaten the rest of the packages of poptarts when I came back from the mall with Chrys and Moonie, but that doesn't mean anything!" Luna snorted, finishing off her first poptart. What exactly makes you think I'm going to share my last remaining poptart with either of you?! Maybe I want the poptart to myself! Huh?! "T-Tia, Caddy, please, there's no need to-" With a growl of anger, Celestia lowered herself into what Luna easily recognized as her battle-stance. "You nearly ate five packages of poptarts on the way back from the mall! I should at least get one poptart to myself!" "Why shouldn't I finish the job I started?!" Cadence stared hungrily at the poptart, only to be slapped across the face with a small beam of magic from Celestia. "Are you saying that you deserve to eat the poptart when I haven't got a single one?!" Cadence nodded, and levitated a pillow up. "Maybe I am!" The two alicorns glared at each other before running back to the pillow forts, though this time, Celestia took Luna's. Pillows began flying everywhere, propelled at unsafe magic velocities. Wayang screeched, and bounced out of Celestia's pillow fort to hide behind Luna, looking up at her with scared eyes. Luna took a moment to finish off the poptart she bit into before looking down at Wayang. "You're a jaguar. Not an overgrown housecat. Suck it up." Luna's answer was met with a low hiss from Wayang, and she gently batted at Luna with a paw. Luna patted Wayang's head gently as she watched her sister and Cadence go to war with one another. "Err...Why are Princess Cadence and Princess Celestia fighting each other? I thought it was us against them." Elhaym walked up to Luna, amazed at the barrage of pillows being flung everywhere. With a sigh, Luna pointed at the remaining poptart. "They began fighting over a poptart. A POPTART." ...I'm not going to ask. "Aw, is poor Wayang scared?" The jaguar nodded, and Elhaym hugged her gently, generating a purr from the jaguar. "Don't be scared, Wayang, the princesses won't hurt you!" "Just don't get caught in the crossfire." Luna muttered as she grabbed the last poptart, and lifted it up towards her mouth. Unfortunately, both alicorns sensed that the poptart was in danger, turned around to see Luna reaching forward for it, gasped. Together, without any sort of planning, the two of them quickly picked the biggest pillows they had nearby, and both flung two hyper-charged pillows at Luna. The result was an immediate drop of the poptart back onto the table as Luna was propelled through the ceiling, creating a Luna-sized hole in it. Realizing what the other had done, Celestia and Cadence shot each other a salute before going back to throwing pillows at each other, with a scared Elhaym and Wayang watching them fearfully, afraid that they would be the next ones to go through the ceiling. Author's Note Pillow fights Luna doesn't like sharing Poptarts Elhaym and Wayang are scared
I'm not sick, Tia!I'm not sick, Tia! Why?! Why me?! Why not Chrys?! Why not...Well, anypony other than me?! Sure, I don't have to do any paperwork or any other things today, but why me?! I can't be sick! I'm not sick! This is a cruel joke that Lulu or Tia must be playing on me! This is the worst day ever! Nightmare Moon was in bed, though it was not because she wanted to stay in bed today. She found herself too weak to move and very, very tired. Deemed sick, Celestia was keeping watch over her, despite the protests given by Nightmare Moon, insisting that she wasn't sick and that she was fine. For the love of...Seriously, I'm fine! I'm not some sick little filly that needs to be doted on by her mother! "I'm not sick, Tia! Y-You don't have to worry about me! I assure you that I am f-fine!" Nightmare Moon feebly tried to wave Celestia off, with no effect other than slightly irritating Celestia, who was adding another blanket on top of the seven that were already on top of Nightmare Moon. "You have a cold, Moonie, and it just wouldn't feel right, leaving you all alone like this! Like it or not, I'm staying with you!" With a sniffle, Nightmare Moon tried to shoot a look of disdain at Celestia, though her attempt failed when she sneezed. "Ugh! O-Okay...Maybe I'm a little under the weather...T-That doesn't mean I'm sick!" "...You do realize 'under the weather' practically means 'sick', right?" Oh. I got to learn what these things mean before I say them! "N-No it doesn't." "Yes it does." "No it doesn't." "Yes it..." Rolling her eyes, Celestia looked over at the hot tomato soup, and took a sip of it with a spoon. Deeming it just right, she dipped a new spoon (not wanting Nightmare Moon to possibly get anything else from her), and smiled as she levitated the spoon towards Nightmare Moon's mouth. "Well, maybe it doesn't. That doesn't matter, though, because here comes the choo-choo train!" With a groan, Nightmare Moon opened her mouth to allow Celestia to feed her, as she didn't want tomato soup dripping down on her coat on top of everything else. Once she had the warm soup safely resting in her stomach (and not on her coat), she complained. "J-Just what the hay is that, Tia?! Are you sure you're the one not sick, taking pleasure in treating me like a sick filly?!" Aw...Isn't that sweet! A big, powerful alicorn, complaining that she's being treated like a little filly! It almost makes me want to pity her situation...Almost. With a sigh, Celestia set the bowl of soup off to the side, and stood up. "Moonie, please, I'm supposed to be taking care of you, and I can't do that if you're going to fight me the whole time." "I'm also telling you that I'm not sick! Watch!" With a grunt, Nightmare Moon flung off her covers, and slowly eased her hooves onto the floor. "See?! Perfectly fine!" Her sentence was finished off with a sneeze. ...I want to help her right now, I really do, but I think it's best if she finds out for herself how weak and sick she really is. Celestia watched as Nightmare Moon took one, two, three steps, and on the fourth, she lost her balance, falling to the floor with a sickening thud. Biting back a sharp retort, Celestia walked up to Nightmare Moon, and offered her a slight smile. "I don't think you're leaving bed today, Moonie." With a slight glow of her horn, Celestia levitated Nightmare Moon back over to her bed, who was complaining again. "I-I can't be sick...A-Alicorns can't be sick!" "We can be, especially if you were up all night having a snowball fight with Lulu! I'm surprised she isn't sick and bedridden like you, honestly." Celestia zapped the tomato soup with a bright beam of light, as it had gotten slightly cold while Nightmare Moon tried to prove to Celestia that she could at least walk. "Besides, why are you not accepting the fact that you're sick, anyway? It's not like you have anything important to do today." "That's the problem!" Nightmare Moon pointed at the bowl of soup, and Celestia couldn't help but chuckle a bit as she fed Nightmare Moon again, though without the little filly treatment this time. "Tia, I had absolutely nothing to do today! That's what's so important! I could be out pranking with Blueblood, shopping at the mall, drinking a slurpee, doing...Doing so many random and needless things! There could be so much I could have done today, because I have nothing important to attend to! Now, though, I can't, because I'm sick!" With that, Nightmare Moon crossed her hooves and looked at Celestia with an angry expression. To Nightmare Moon's surprise, though, Celestia didn't look fazed throughout her little rant. "I understand, Moonie, and while I don't particularly want to stay in your room and take care of you, either, I have to do it; the others are busy with work. You know what, though? In a way, you can thank yourself for getting sick." Celestia's piece of advice wasn't taken well by Nightmare Moon. "What?! Why?! You actually mean to tell me that it's actually a good thing that I'm sick right now?!" With a nod, Celestia inserted another spoonful of warm soup into Nightmare Moon's mouth. "Yes. The reason why, though, is because you are now looking forward to your next free day, and you'll want to make it so much better than what you could do today. There's a silver lining in everything." "...I...Haven't thought about it like that. It doesn't help me very much in my current position, though!" "I know." Celestia was waiting for Nightmare Moon to make a snide comment, but she was silent, with a thoughtful look on her face. I wonder what she's thinking about; she's such a hard alicorn to read sometimes. Heck, it's easier to talk to Discord, even though he's a stone statue. Celestia was able to feed Nightmare Moon the rest of the soup without any other incident interrupting her, and once the soup was all gone, Celestia picked up the bowl, and smiled down at Nightmare Moon. "Thank you for not making too much of a fuss, Moonie. I'm going down to the kitchens to clean up this bowl and to get myself a snack." Celestia managed to walk all the way up to the door when she heard Nightmare Moon call out her name softly. "Tia?" Turning around to face Nightmare Moon, Celestia blinked at her before replying."Hmm? Was there something you wanted me to get for you on the way down to the kitchens?" Although she seemed to calm down, Celestia expected some sort of request that was just silly. "Can I get a waffle?" You just had a bowl of soup, but...Okay. "...Sure. No butter, no syrup." A look of sadness was on Nightmare Moon's face as she sighed. "...Fine." Author's Note Alicorns can get sick Snowball fights at night aren't a good thing Nightmare Moon wants a waffle
It's the end, Lulu!It's the end, Lulu! Ah, a day of relaxation! Just me, my sister, and Chrys! Poor Moonie, having to stay in the castle, but hey, she drew the shortest straw! No doubt she'll lace some poison joke in our beds tonight like last time; hopefully I don't wake up and get an effect that isn't as...'Weird' as Tia's. It was pretty funny, though, to see her in the little body of a filly; and her voice was so cute when it cracked! Luna, Chrysalis, and Celestia were making their way through one of Canterlot's many malls, shopping, looking around, and just having a very good time with each other, as most ponies would have in a mall with their friends. However, Luna was beginning to feel hungry; the moment she'd been waiting for most of all throughout their trip in the mall. When shopping, always go on a half-full stomach, because then when you get hungry in the middle of shopping, you get to whine about needing food, and nothing's better than mall food! With a lick of her lips, Luna envisioned what she could possibly look forward to; slurpees, fish burgers, slurpees, hay fries, slurpees, fried marshmallows on a stick, slurpees, fried ice cream, fried slurpees, and all manners of unhealthy yet delicious food, all found within the food court of the mall. Especially slurpees. Let's start whining now and hope it works! "Tiiiiiiiia!" Luna almost sang out, while grabbing hold of her older sister. "Hmm?" Celestia turned her head slightly to look over at her younger sister, wondering what she could possibly be screeching like a cat about. "Did we pass by something that you like?" "No!" Luna pointed over at the general direction of the food court. "I'm hungry! I want something to eaaaaaat!" With a grin, Celestia laughed as she shook her sister off. "Okay, okay! I could go for a bite to eat as well, Lulu, we have been shopping for awhile now." "You two have the fastest metabolism ever, I swear." Chrysalis rolled her eyes as she eyed the two with a frown. "Didn't you just eat an entire plate of waffles before we left, Lulu?" "Well, it obviously wasn't enough, because I'm hungry now!" Luna said, stamping her hoof on the ground softly (which was still hard enough to cause a crack on the poor tile she stomped on). "I want something to eaaaaaat!" "Shh, Lulu, just don't bring the mall crashing down on us with your voice, and you'll get something to eat!" Celestia passed a few bits (which, in reality was a sack full of a few hundred bits) to her sister, smiling at her. "Just go buy whatever you want, and meet us back here, alright?" "Yeah, okay! Thank you, Tia!" Luna quickly dashed off to the food court, where she smelled greasy food in all its glory, being made to unhealthy perfection. The scent of frying oil and sweet treats was almost overwhelming, but also subtle, trying to draw ponies in to sample its unhealthy food. It was also successful, as seen by the large amount of ponies taking a break from shopping to eat within its clutches. Now, Luna was about to join them. If ponies were concentrating on Luna, they would have seen an alicorn travelling throughout the food court, barely visible as a blur that went around ordering food. She bought fries, burgers, noodles, chips, cookies, sodas, and many more unhealthy foods quickly, slowed down only by having to wait to get her order cooked by the food ponies working here. To top her entire greasy and sugary meals, she bought a salad, with non-fat dressing. Ah! I think this is all that I need to sate my ever-growing hunger! It shall be cleansed with the strongest, greasiest, and most sugary foods known to pony-kind; the food that comes from the food court! My hunger will wail in agony as the food promptly demolishes it with unrelenting power! Oh, and, the salad too. I can't forget about that. It will...Be backup! Yes! It shall be on the lookout, making sure my hunger does not strike back at me when I least expect it! Now, to top off my food with only the most delectable food of all...That no other food will ever come close to it at being the best food item ever made in the history of pony-kind...Slurpees! With a hum as she pushed her wheelbarrow full of food towards the convenience store a little beyond the food court, she noticed something very wrong, something that chilled her to the core and threatened to rip apart her sanity. It wasn't due to Chrysalis foaming at the mouth in front of a store, with Celestia sitting down on her rump in front of Chrysalis, staring blankly ahead at the same store. Nor was it the fact that they were letting their own wheelbarrows of greasy food growing cold. No, it wasn't either of those things, and it also wasn't the fact that the mall cop who was trying to get a response from the two alicorns was Rainbow Dash, who looked surprisingly cute in the bland uniform. No, it was the fact that the convenience store had signs on it, saying that the store was moving locations, to another mall, one that was very far away from this mall. This caused panic to immediately swell up inside of Luna; they were the only ones who supplied slurpees in this entire mall, and the fact that she was now unable to get one caused Luna to cry out in sudden pain and fear at what she was seeing. Upon hearing her sister cry out, Celestia turned around, and wailed at her sister, pointing a hoof at what Luna already knew. "It's the end, Lulu! It's the eeeeeeeend! We don't have slurpees in this maaaaall!" "No! Not the slurrrrrrrrpeeeeees! Why have we been forsaken?! This is not how it's supposed to end!" Quickly, Luna ran up to Celestia, and threw her hooves around her, sobbing into her chest. Rainbow Dash could only watch as Luna and Celestia held each other in each others hooves, crying and wailing loudly, to the discontentment and discomfort of other ponies who happened to be nearby. Even though she was supposed to be making everything better, she was a mall cop; she wasn't paid enough for this. Reaching behind her, she brought out a phone, and began to record the alicorns reaction to the convenience store closing rather then trying to calm them down. I'm probably going to get fired again, but, eh, I can always crash at Twilight's place. Besides, recording all of this is far more satisfying then getting a few more bits. Author's Note Requested by zyr1987, though I have butchered the idea to better fit my ability to write, sorry Celestia became an alicorn sized marshmallow Did I mention slurpees enough yet Rainbow Dash is a mall cop now after she punched the register so hard it flew at a customer The end is near
That's about it, Tia! (Colgate Arc)That's about it, Tia! (Colgate Arc) Blueblood's story just gets more ridiculous with everything he says; how can I even be sure he's telling the truth? With a sigh, Celestia tapped the base of her horn, wanting to know why it always suddenly began hurting after Blueblood tried to explain things to her. Must be something he's doing wrong. Oh well...You can endure this, Tia! "Please, repeat what you just said to me again, Bluey, so I know that I'm not going deaf...Rarity...Mauled you? In...A marshmallow costume?" A nod from Blueblood confirmed that she was not going deaf, and the tapping to the base of her horn intensified. Okay, once this is all over with, I better keep better tabs on what the heck happens in Ponyville. "I...See. What, exactly, did you do again to earn her disdain for you?" "I...Err...More or less became an insufferable brat to her at the Gala, like I was when I was younger." You still are a brat, though in a good way. The kind where everypony loves you whenever you do your thing. Like setting fire to cereal. I don't know how that happened, but it did. "So, tell me, what happened next?" "Pain." Blueblood had never wondered how mares could leave scratch marks whenever they 'broke' and began flailing their hooves (which didn't have any manner of claws or the like) around at somepony, but that was something he'd reflect on later, after his encounter with the marshmallow (he was also, later, wary of putting marshmallows in hot chocolate for a long time after this incident, for fear that they would suddenly swarm him and attempt to beat him into submission). "OW OW MAKE IT STOP OW-" "You...You...Evil thing! How dare you treat me in such a fashion at the gala! I'll teach you to mess with somepony as fabulous as moi!" Blueblood's response was occasionally interrupted by pain as he held his hooves up, trying to deflect the blows from the crazed mare. "I-OW, assure you, that I tho-STOP THAT, thought you were another mare just trying to get int-NOT IN THE FACE, trying to get into good standing with auntie Tia!" Unfortunately, Blueblood's words only seemed to anger the marshmallow hitting him, and she continued to smack him around until Twilight finally stopped panicking long enough to put up a shield around the suffering (and now grateful) Blueblood. "Rarity, stop hurting my friend!" The last two words spoken by Twilight were met with a cat-like screech by Rarity, who whirled around to face the other unicorn. "You?! Friends with this brute?! Twilight Sparkle, I expected better from you!" Twilight winced at how her friend was screeching at her; it wasn't doing any good for her ears. "It's not entirely his fault! He tends to act like that in public to put off ponies away from him that he doesn't like or know! He assumes everypony he meets wants to try and use him to gain favors from him, and by extension, Princess Celestia!" With a glare, Rarity stared down at a whimpering Blueblood, then at Twilight. "Gala." Sighing, Twilight nodded. "He'll apologize. Won't you, Bluey?" For good measure, she forced him to stand back up, and unsteadily trying to keep his balance after such a vicious attack, he nodded. "Yes...I'm v-very sorry, Miss Rarity, I d-didn't know you actually had a genuine interest in me, and for that, I am sorry for treating you as I do with the others." "Well! You should not be too quick to judge ponies." Suddenly smiling, Rarity extended a hoof out towards Blueblood, who stared at it warily before gently taking it, giving Rarity a hoof-shake. "Now that's all settled...TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" From frightening, to warm, to frightening again, Blueblood wondered what kind of friends Twilight made in Ponyville, as his friend recoiled from having her name shouted. "What on Equestria did you do to burn such a beautiful if somewhat unconventional home?!" Twilight raised a hoof to her right ear, convinced she had gone deaf in that ear. "Pinkie." That name was all was needed to be said, to Blueblood's surprise. "Oh. Say no more, Twilight! I'd stay and chat a little more about why this all happened and why...Blueblood is here, but I'd rather not get involved with anything involving Pinkie Pie. Now, if you two will excuse me, I need to get back to the marshmallow convention." Rarity walked rather elegantly (which was quite the feat, as the marshmallow costume she was in dwarfed her) away, leaving behind a scared and confused Blueblood with a temporarily (to Twilight's later relief) deaf Twilight. "Err. Okay." Still unsure on what terms he was with Rarity, Blueblood turned around to Twilight, and spoke, though he made sure it was to her left, and not her right. "Your friends are weird, Twilight, and I don't envy you. So, what about Colgate do you know?" "Well, Bluey, they aren't so bad once you...Get used to the fact that they certainly aren't from Canterlot, and don't mind how crazy things get here sometimes. The first thing that tipped me off about Colgate's strange mannerisms was her cutie mark. I-" At this, Blueblood couldn't help but chuckle and make a lewd question, as he had been trained to do so (the best fifty bits he ever spent, in his opinion). "Oh, really, Twilight? Been studying Colgate's cutie mark long and hard, like you do when you usually study things?" "B-Bluey!" Twilight's face was flushed red, and she gently punched him, while he was trying to contain his laughter (to his failure). "Y-You're so immature! A-Anyway, it just seems a bit strange to me; an hourglass? I mean, she works at a workshop, and I've actually seen her work there, but I don't think her cutie mark matches the work she does, because she doesn't seem to be very good at it." "That's rather mean, and, of course, cutie marks can mean very vague things; there isn't exactly a right or wrong way to interpret them if you think about it." Blueblood said, once he finally stopped laughing. He then settled his gaze on Colgate, who seemed to be conversing with a fire pony. "What do you think her special talent is, then?" "Time." "...That's a bit too broad for me to determine what you mean by that so you'll have to explain it to me." With a sigh, Twilight took a moment to simplify her words before speaking. "She's always on time, always seems to have the right ponies or tools for the task at hoof whenever something needs to be done, is almost always there to avert a small disaster with some help, and is always first in line at Sugar cube corner for free franzbrötchen Friday." Blueblood's next question was, of course, about what Twilight said last. "What's a franzbrötchen?" Twilight waved a hoof over at a building designed as a gingerbread house. "Something that they bake at Sugar Cube Corner. Never mind that, Bluey! Point is, she always seems to be on time in instances like this, and it's just as impossible to figure out as Pinkie Pie, since she's so mysterious!" With a sigh, Blueblood shook his head slowly. "That's about it, Tia! If you want to know where Colgate resides, she lives in a small home, sharing it with one Lyra Heartstrings, in a building located just off of Rarity's boutique. Nothing else of interest happened, and now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take a shower. Maybe multiple ones, at that, for my fur." "Of course, Bluey, you may go. Take the chair with you, I think I've been wanting to order a new one anyway." Celestia nodded towards the door, which he shuffled on over to as he dragged the chair with him. With a slight frown, Celestia waited for him to leave her room (with her poor chair) before looking up at the sky. Lyra...If she's who I also think it is...It couldn't be mere coincidence, what this 'Colgate' is doing, and her description.... "Well...It seems like I'm paying Colgate and Lyra a visit. After all, I'm sure they remember what happened a thousand years ago." Author's Note Blueblood gets smacked silly Twilight just might maybe slightly could be perhaps interested in Colgate Almost done with the arc here
That's a terrible choice, Lulu!That's a terrible choice, Lulu! "I'm bored." The words came from Luna, who was laying down on top of Celestia, and had her head resting on her sister's barrel. The two of them were exhausted from today's work, and so, they did the only thing that would begin to make them feel better; cuddling with one another on a sofa while talking about each other's day (both of which happened to be quite boring). It was working, somewhat; the downside was that there wasn't much to actually talk about, so the ever-increasing threat of getting killed by boredom was creeping up on them. "So am I." Raising her right hoof up, Celestia began running it through Luna's mane, admiring how her sister's mane caught the light. Caught pretty much everything, actually. Her sister's hair was like a brick wall. "...So why aren't we doing anything?" "You tell me." A cheeky, short reply was given to Celestia. "No." Lazy, Celestia thought with a slight frown, you expect me to think of something for you? Fine; there's a theoretical question I've been wanting to ask anyway. "Fiiiiiine, if only to relieve our boredom somewhat. If you had to pick a pony, any pony, to become an alicorn like us, who would you pick?" Luna lifted her head up slightly, interested in her sister's question. "Hmm. That's kinda interesting, Tia. I'm not being serious with this answer, but Pinki-" Celestia was quick. "No." "I figured as much. Well...I'd have to say Rainbow Dash." Obvious choice, coming from you, Lulu, but seriously? "Excuse me for saying this, please. That's a terrible choice, Lulu! Seriously, all Rainbow Dash would do is sonic rainbooms all day and complain about suddenly being too cool for the wonderbolts. She also would probably not do any political work required within the castle, and would most likely cause an international incident, what with her attitude of hers. You don't pick her because you have a crush on her." With a sigh, Luna looked at her sister with a slight frown. "I do not have a crush on her, and oh, sure, like you have a better choice in mind." "You hide your feelings very poorly, and I do, actually." Whatever. Totally don't have the hots for Rainbow Dash. Luna lowered her head back down onto Celestia's barrel, feeling too tired to keep it up anymore. "Name?" A slightly happy Celestia immediately thought of the only pony who she would pick to take this theoretical position. Only the most suitable pony, of course. "Twi-" Groaning, Luna gently slapped her sister across the face. "Now you're just playing favourites." Smarting from the slap, Celestia rubbed her muzzle gently while scowling at Luna. "What?" "Tia, she's not a serious pony you can honestly pick; she can't be, if you have any sense at all, which I doubt you do. She panics easily, thinks too hard about some subjects, is known for being very OCD, and she is the most powerful unicorn I've seen in a long time; if we theoretically picked Twilight Sparkle to become an alicorn, chances are she'd start a war because some ponies don't like hash browns. I've seen Twilight eat hash browns. It's not pretty." ...That's true. Especially the hash brown part. "Lulu, think of the possibilities, though!" Luna scoffed at what her sister said. "What possibilities? We'd be trying to stop her from going to war against our own country, specially the ponies that don't like hash browns. That's a possibility I don't want to experience because potato prices will probably raise everywhere. Oh, and ponies would get hurt." "Well, being so organized, Twilight could do all of our paperwork!" Yes that'd be nice, but you're missing the point, Tia. "...While putting us into a war; I really don't want to smack ponies around with those giant pretzel sticks our soldiers use as spears. You're blind to her faults because she's your favourite, Tia." "Well...I could argue that Rainbow Dash is your favourite, as well." "True enough, Tia." A new voice began speaking, off towards the side. "Oh, you two look cute." Celestia looked at the general direction the voice was coming from to see Chrysalis, who happened to be smirking at them. "Hello to you too, Chrys." "Hey." The changeling alicorn sat down in front of them, stifling a yawn. "Bored?" An unenthusiastic reply came from Celestia as she gently nuzzled her sister. "Ya." "Figured as much. I am, too; figured a walk might relieve my boredom, and it might just happen to work, assuming you two have anything to do." "Not much," Luna mumbled, "we've just been talking about what pony we'd choose if we had the ability to turn one into an alicorn like us." "Sounds interesting. Dumb, but interesting. Hmm..." Chrysalis was now deep in thought, and Celestia couldn't help but be interested in what Chrysalis had to say; after all, she had a vastly different personality compared to theirs. "I would have to say that the best overall pony for such a position would be Fley Truths." Celestia's eyes widened in surprise. That's certainly not a choice I was expecting to hear. "Fley Truths, huh? Why?" Celestia stopped messing around with Luna's mane, much to the lunar alicorn's disappointment. Chrysalis took in a deep breath before explaining her choice. "It's all a matter of perspective, really, but I think Fley Truths would be the ideal pony to chose for the job because of the fact that she already deals with the nobility and their insane requests. She also has been able to keep them in check, something that we've never been able to do and only Fancy Pants has also been able to do. Fley Truths also, like you, has a softer side, so she'd be able to easily sympathize with other ponies very well, and the large amount of bits she has doesn't hurt either, as she'd finally be able to push on through with her own projects rather than having to wait months for the chance of having it approved. Also, she makes nice waffles." "I see. I...Wait, waffles?" A nod was given from Chrysalis. "I visit her every now and then; she does take care of Quackum, you know, and offers me some food whenever I come by; when I tried her waffles, they were just heavenly, and I'm sure turning into a alicorn would make those waffles so good, it'd probably kill me with bliss." Celestia's eyes narrowed in suspicion, wondering if Chrysalis was one of them. "...Do you eat them with syrup?" With a laugh, Chrysalis shook her head. "No. Syrup is nasty." Quickly, Luna scrambled off of a now malicious Celestia who was advancing on Chrysalis, and hid behind the sofa. "You shouldn't have done that..." Author's Note I like to cuddle on sofas too Boredom is the number one killer in Equestria Twilight loves hash browns so help you if you say you don't like them in front of her No I'm not hinting that a pony is becoming an alicorn with this chapter In all honestly I truly forgot where I was going with this chapter
Na-ah, Tia!I say no, Tia! Ya go down, down, down, this time I woan save ya, when ya drown, drown, drown, ya sun of a gun, sun of a gun! Spitfire slowly walked down over to Celestia's room, singing the lyrics to a song inwardly while doing so. She was here to make a few requests to Celestia, then quickly fly off to rejoin her pegasai, most of which were really green and needed to be trained. Unfortunately, her former training staff were very incompetent, lazy pegasai that didn't teach the new recruits any more than flight school did, and she wanted to fix that (the Wonderbolts couldn't have any weak fliers among their ranks!). So, without so much a warning to the trainers, she fired all of them, and while there were plenty of candidates to chose from as her new trainers throughout Equestria, she specifically wanted pegasai from the royal guard; they had rough conditioning to ensure that they could fly under rough weather when needed, strong knowledge of how to strengthen their flight capabilities, and she was sure that a few veterans would jump at the chance to 'retire' early and work as trainers for her. Jus' liek ma owld teecher used ta say, ya can't expect no gween pegsai ta bang left if ya ain't got the right pawnies to teach 'em how. She casually walked up to the doors, and pushed them open, causing one Celestia to look up from her papers with a smile on her face. "Ah, Spitfire! Just in time to save me from this dreadfully boring paperwork. How are you?" She offered a hoof towards a very comfortable chair, already placed out and ready for her (for some ponies, Celestia didn't even bother offering a chair, so it was a very high honor indeed to be offered a chair from her, and a pony would do well to make sure they kept that privilege). "Awm great, Pwincess Cerlestia, but I gotta be honest wid ya, I ain't got tiem ta waste, I got pawnies waitin' to be trained, so I gotta make dis quick befer I gotta book it outta here wid some pawnies ta train them green-wings, ya?" Spitfire took the offered chair, and sat down in it, letting out a sigh as she sunk into the very comfortable velvety chair. "Understandable, Spitfire." In all honestly, Celestia had absolutely no idea what Spitfire was saying half the time. I really must spend more time in Spitfire's hometown, though I have the feeling it will confuse me to no end and will fray my nerves to the point of insanity just trying to figure everything out. "I understand you have come here to discuss about the Wonderbolt's budget, as well as new trainers you wish to aquire for the Wonderbolts?" "Ya got thad rwight, Pwincess Cerlestia! I needa see if I can't get some moar moolah and different pawnies fer breakin' in the recruits! The old chowdaheads I had befer ain worth any of the moolah they're got paid, so I fired them! They tell me they're doin' fine! Na-ah, Tia! I wan replacements fer those chowdaheads!" ...I think she insulted the ponies that are currently in charge of training her pegasai. I think. I also think she wants some bits. Celestia pushed away her papers to look at Spitfire with a slightly confused expression on her face. "Erm...Okay, Spitfire. So...How much more 'moolah' do you need, and how many 'pawnies'?" "Ah, ya! Finaly, a pawnie thad listens to me! I need moolah thads at least numberin' at foddy thousan, and I'd liek 'bout seven pegasai vets from the royal gward!" ...I think I'm actually beginning to understand her. That's scaring me. That's scaring me really, really badly. Yet, it's not as scary like when Luna snores; now, that's scary. Celestia gently tapped on the table a few times, mulling over Spitfire's words before speaking, as she wanted to make sure she understood her words first. She spoke once she got a rough grasp of what was said. "So...'Fourty' thousand bits, and seven pegasai veterans from the royal guard is what you're asking for?" "Ya! Thad's what I need!" Spitfire put emphasis on her words by pounding the table with her right hoof once, and then nodding. "Thad's all I need fer the W-Team! I promise, Tia, you'll see resalts soon!" With a nod, Celestia pulled out a check, writing down the sum of forty thousand bits. I actually expected a lot more bits and the demand for more pegasai; it seems like Spitfire is doing very well, minus the fired trainers, and simply needs the resources to expand her operations a little bit more the way she wants it to expand. Fair enough. "Very well; I have no wish to see the team I created a long, long time ago to suddenly stop now because of a few bits not going your way, and without the right pegasai training your recruits. You can also pick any seven 'pawnies' from the royal guard that you want; though, of course, you must have their consent first. If you need anything else, Spitfire, don't be afraid to ask me, and I'll see if I can provide any help." "Awright!" Spitfire grinned as she grabbed the check, taking a moment to punch the air with a hoof. "Awh, heck yeah! I gotta find them pawnies now! Later, pwincess Tia!" Spitfire got up from her seat, and walked over to the other side of the table. Celestia was wondering what the flight captain was up to, though she found out when the pegasus reached over and pecked a kiss on her cheek. Immediately, Celestia's wings shot up, and her embarrassment reached critical levels never before personally experienced by her; all this from the rather simple action of getting kissed on the cheek. "Thanks, luv! I can use this moolah to get the W-Team back on track!" Just as quickly as the kiss happened, Spitfire was walking out towards the door, leaving behind a red-faced, flabbergasted Celestia behind, who was trying to piece together what just happened. She was still sitting like that when Luna came by to check up on her, complaining that her 'fat-flanked sun' wasn't moving for her moon. Author's Note Hi Spitfire Celestia is confused How do you write Boston accents I swear it's so difficult and I seriously don't mean to offend any of you true Bostonians with this, it's just how I envision Spitfire as I might Might Maybe Perhaps Make SpitTia shipping Only because it feels so right to me But for the love of god that accent is going to be hard to write consistantly
I thought it was safe, Lulu!I thought it was safe, Lulu! I'm stupid. Really, really stupid. The negative thought was from Chrysalis, who was sitting in a jail cell due to her actions earlier. She had tried to plead with Elhaym, but the guard (understandably) couldn't simply flat-out refuse to not imprison her, as doing so would have made ponies believe the princesses were above the law. Well, technically, they were, but still, it wouldn't do much good for ponies to think that they might get shot by a massive ball of confetti out of nowhere, which was what happened to Shining Armour. Okay, maybe it wasn't such a good idea to see if it worked, but that pink mare told me it was safe to fire it! Gah... A tinkling noise alerted her; it seemed to have been something that was dropped in her cell (which was very, very comfortable; after all, all ponies were innocent until proven guilty, and nopony wanted to live in a cell that was unclean). Unfortunately, so, too, was the guard alerted to the noise, and he turned around with a questioning look in his eyes. "You hear that?" "Yes." She looked around her cell, and found a piece of paper folded in half, with a paperclip attached to it, which she assumed made the noise. Chrysalis picked up the piece of paper, unfolded it, and took a look at it. Once she did, looked up at the ceiling, confusing the guard. "What did the note say?" "Look up." As the guard followed Chrysalis' gaze, an inky black...Something that vaguely looked like a very large pony dropped to the floor, and knocked out the guard with a quick slap (which ended up hurtling him through a wall). Chrysalis winced at the bruises and soreness the guard was sure to experience in the morning, and she looked at the shifting black mass that took out the guard. "Hi Luna." The dark, pony-like mass recoiled, as if struck, and spoke in a whining tone. "Drat! How did you know it was me?! I-" "Actually, I didn't; I just figured that if somepony could cast a spell like...That, it would be you or Moonie." "Hmph. I spent lots of time making sure I couldn't be recognized, too!" The inky darkness that surrounded Luna dissipated, revealing herself truly, and she looked at Chrysalis with a frown. "Why exactly did you fire a massive ball of confetti at Shining Armour? From a cannon, no less?!" I remember it like it just happened a few hours ago... "I thought it was safe, Lulu! Pinkie Pie is evil. Very, very evil." "Right, so...Why did you ask me to come down to one of the guard stations, why are you showing a cannon to me, and why is there a pink mare in what seems to be poorly restrictive cuffs bouncing around the place?" A Curious Chrysalis asked, as Shining Armour was escorting a pink mare that seemed happy, for whatever reason. "I needed you here to help me with this; Pinkie Pie here was seen toting around a cannon to celebrate-" "A guard named Elhaym's birthday!" Pinkie Pie chirped up, interrupting Shining Armour, who sighed, presumably from having to escort her. "I really wanted to surprise her but for some reason I forgot to put a party cannon in Canterlot so I began dragging one here and then Twilight's brother stopped me and then began escorting me here and oh wow Canterlot looks so nice I should really throw more parties here and well while I was thinking about how much Celestia has a crush on Spitfire and then I got arrested but I'm sure nothing bad will happen to me because I'm here to make everypony happy especially Elhaym but I have to follow the law and so here I am!" Chrysalis stared blankly at Pinkie Pie for a long moment before turning over to Shining Armour. "Uh...?" The most Chrysalis got from Shining Armour was a shrug. "I don't know either. In any case, I need to fill out some paperwork; I believe this is Miss Pie's first trip to a prison cell, and while I don't want to do this, I really can't ignore the fact that she brought in a cannon in Canterlot. Unfortunately, there's no official papers here, so I have to wait for a guard to come by here with the required papers." Very well then; I know I wouldn't sleep well at night if ponies were bringing in cannons, so I suppose this is necessary, even though she's an Element of Harmony. Chrysalis mused, as she studied the pink mare. She seemed happy, even though she was about to earn some time in a cell. How could she be so happy at a time like this? Suddenly, out of nowhere, a voice entered her thoughts. It's because these cells are really comfortable and I've been in them before! W-What?! Who is this?! It's Pinkie Pie, silly! Chrysalis was getting more confused and scared with every moment she was spending with the pink mare. How are you speaking to me?! I thought telepathy was something only a few select unicorns and us alicorns could do, and I know I didn't open a focus link with you! Tele-what? Focus-huh? That's silly, like you! I think I'm going to get a headache. Don't! Headaches are bad, and...Omigosh omigosh omigosh she's coming she's coming! ...Who's coming? Elhaym, Elhaym! She's bringing in a stack of papers and...Omigosh, I can't operate the cannon like this! I need you to do it! Please! What?! No! There's no way I'm firing that cann- Chrysalis was interrupted as she suddenly felt what it was like to be the spam folder for an email address. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH! Wanting to get rid of the annoying voice in her head, she had no choice but to comply with Pinkie Pie's insistent whining, and she punched the cannon, activating it. Many things happened. The door to the guard house opened, showing Elhaym bringing in a stack of papers. "I got the pa-" Her voice was cut off by a large boom as the cannon exploded, hurtling a giant mass of confetti at Shining Armour, propelling him through the guard house and out into the street, where many sharp gasps and screaming was heard. Pinkie Pie jumped for joy, beginning to sing a happy birthday song for a throughly confused Elhaym, and Chrysalis slumped over on the cannon, rubbing the base of her horn, trying to relieve herself of the massive headache she got. "...And so, that is why I'm here, Lulu." The lunar alicorn nodded slowly, and looked around the cells, confused. "I see. Where, though, is Pinkie Pie?" Chrysalis vaguely waved a hoof behind her. "She's in a maximum security cell a few blocks away." "No I'm not, I'm right here!" Neither Chrysalis nor Luna were surprised to see Pinkie Pie, and Luna sighed. "Right, well...Pinkie Pie, can you return to your cell for a few more days?" "Okay!" Pinkie Pie flashed a giant smile at them before walking away, leaving the two alicorns (and a giant guard-shaped hole in the wall) alone. There was a brief moment of silence before Chrysalis tapped the bars to her cell, getting Luna's attention. "So. Are you going to free me, or not?" "Actually I just wanted to sit here and laugh at you for getting arrested." Chrysalis narrowed her eyes as Luna, true to her word, began laughing at her. Just wait... Author's Note Requested by SmirkyThread Pinkie Pie is actually evil Sorry for the coloured text but I thought it got a little confusing trying to tell which one was Pinkie Pie and Chrysalis, so I personally did that for my own benefit, sorry Pour nameless guard that was guarding Chrysalis, poor Shining Armour How does everything in Equestria work by punching it I don't understand
I made a promise, Tia! (Colgate Arc)I promised, Tia! (Colgate Arc) ...Ponyville. Let's see...From Pinkie's instructions after I bribed her with a few dozen cakes...Take a left, go down the street...Pass the golden statue of Rainbow Dash which I have absolutely no memory of it ever being there...Ah! This must be where they're living in. Celestia was currently in a changed form, which was a much smaller pegasus, and gone was her rainbow mane (having used normal shampoo for once instead of the poison joke shampoo that usually made her hair turn into a rainbow colour), leaving her behind with a pink mane. Her horn was carefully hidden away with magic, and it would take a pony like Twilight Sparkle to figure out it was Celestia, and even then, only if they scanned her with magic. Her disguise hadn't failed yet, and for that, she was glad, as she didn't want anypony knowing that royalty was within the vicinity. I might change back into my true form later, once this is all done, though; I like the royal treatment at bakeries, especially Sugarcube Corner. Before she decided on entering the home where Colgate and Lyra supposedly lived in, she took a moment to look over the choice of housing they chose to reside in. It's...Interesting taste in terms of house design, I have to say, though that pink flamingo is giving me the creeps. Oh well, you're not here to rate their home design, so let's see if they're inside! Raising her hoof, Celestia knocked on the door a few times. On the fifth knock, the door opened, and her hoof almost hit a blue mare in the face, who was looking at her with confusion, but her greeting was warm, if slightly wary. "Hi! My name's Colgate, what can I do for you?" The pony in front of Celestia confirmed all of her suspicions, and she smiled widely, happy that her search was at an end. ...Oh, Faust, it really is her, and if Lyra is who I think it is... Celestia motioned Colgate to come closer; the two ponies closed the small gap between them, and only then did Celestia murmur one word, in a very low tone of voice. "Minuette." Immediately, Colgate gasped softly, and then whispered at Celestia. "Come inside, living room, sit down, questions, now." Taking the offer, Celestia walked inside of the home, just before the door was shut and locked. Playing along with Colgate, Celestia walked on over to the living room, where she sat down on a rather comfortable sofa. There was the smell of fish stew and baked potatoes in the air, and it danced around Celestia's nose, causing her to give a deep sigh of appreciation for good cooking. Colgate didn't seem to notice the smell, as she sat down across from Celestia, and offered her a slight smile, which was returned. "I...I have to say, Celestia...I wasn't expecting you to...Find me and Lyra so quickly." A voice, not Celestia's, rang out from the kitchen. "Waaaaaait wait wait wait, Celestia's here?" The mentioned alicorn (now pegasus but really isn't) turned around to see Lyra emerge from the kitchen (with a 'kiss the cook' apron on), looking at the pegasus with a raised eyebrow. With a grin, Celestia winked at her. "Heartstrings." The mint-green unicorn recoiled as if she was struck, and then grinned at Celestia widely. "Tia! Oh, it's been so long, and unfortunately, it'll be a little bit longer! Sorry, but I don't want lunch to burn!" Just like that, Lyra was back in the kitchen, monitoring the cooking. With a chuckle, Colgate relaxed slightly, and winked at Celestia. "Just like Heartstrings to do something like that. You know, I was wondering when you would show up for us; I nearly lost hope when the Elements of Harmony were found before you found us!" Deep inside, Celestia knew that while Colgate's words were meant to be light and playful teasing, she couldn't help but feel bad for abandoning them. "I-I'm sorry, Colgate, I-" "Shh." Colgate walked over to sit down next to Celestia, and gently nuzzled her in an attempt to comfort her. "Call me Minuette. It's who I am, and what I am. We don't blame you for not trying to find us, as we've seen just how rocky your rule could be when Luna was...Missing. You didn't have time for us, and while it hurts, we know that it was in the best interests of Equestria." Nodding slowly at Minuette, Celestia remembered just how difficult things were back then. "Yes...It was a very hard time for me. Minuette, I know I should feel bad for asking this, especially since Blueblood more or less explained something that I know that only you could have done, but, you have been protecting Twilight Sparkle and her friends with Heartstings' help, right?" "Of course, and with the help of some others, as well! I suppose the way Blueblood described the incident had you curious enough to seek us out, but yes, we have been protecting your student and her friends from threats; at least, whenever we can. It's our duty, after all." "That's all I can ever ask from you." Celestia paused, then gently nuzzled Minuette back, causing the unicorn to blush wildly. "Thank you for guarding them when I myself cannot. Consider your debt paid, and, if you wish, I can release the burden I have placed on you." Minuette shook her head, which surprised Celestia. "No, Tia; I do not wish for that to happen! In fact, I want to extend my contract with you, and so does Heartstrings!" Immediately, Heartstrings' voice came from the kitchen, confirming Minuette's words. "That's right, Tia, I also want my contract to exte- OW THAT'S HOT." Celestia and Minuette winced as they heard glass shatter. "Are you alright, Heartstrings?" Minuette called out, worried about her, "I can come over and help you with whatever you're doing wrong." "I'm fine! I'm also not doing anything wrong!" As Celestia put aside Heartstings' trouble in the kitchen beside her, she focused her attention on Minuette's words. Almost every pony I know of that has been put under this contract has eagerly relinquished their duties to the Elements of Harmony, so why are these two the exception? I had a few other guardians in mind, as well... "I...Well, this is new. Why do you not want your duties to be over? I can't imagine it being easy." "That's the thing. We know it isn't easy." Both Minuette and Celestia looked up to see Heartstrings (minus one apron), and she walked over to the two, sitting down on the other side of Celestia. "Food's done, and it's totally not burnt. Nope. Anyway, we know that we don't have the easiest lifestyle around, but we also know it's not easy for you, Celestia, to have to pick new ponies and teach them how to defend the Elements of Harmony with the tools they have without drawing attention to themselves, though Minuette failed there." "Hey!" Minuette complained, pouting at Heartstrings. "You try when your talent is turning back the clock, but not ponies minds!" "You're not subtle, like me," Heartstrings said with a grin, "Celestia must have forgotten something when she made you the pony of time." Celestia frowned slightly, remembering that she indeed forgot to be very specific when assigning Minuette her powers. "Erm...Yeah...Regardless, your only defense is the fact that it will take time for me to train guards?" Minuette interrupted her. "No, Celestia, it's not just that; it's the fact that we actually do genuinely enjoy our job, and because of the fact that there are too many of us as it is right now. The more ponies that you assign to the Elements of Harmony, the more chances of failure you get from each pony not doing their job correctly." "You've mentioned 'others' before; are they other ponies under the same contract as you and Heartstrings?" Minuette paused, then nodded slowly. "That is correct. They are the ones who are helping us." Heartstrings spoke up, with a worried look on her face. "Tia, they are still loyal to you, they simply aren't as...'Active' as we are, as they need to keep up appearances with what they have chosen as their occupation. I hope you understand." ...I see. Before asking her next question, Celestia took a moment to admire Minuette and Heartstrings; they were still loyal to her, even though they could have misused their powers and create a harder time for her, but instead, they merely kept to themselves, waiting, all this time, for her. "There...Is something I want to ask you and Lyra about. What happened, a thousand years ago?" Minuette hesitated in giving an answer, looking over at Heartstings, who nodded once. The nod was all Minuette needed to continue. "I made a promise, Tia! I made a promise, and I've kept it ever since, with Lyra helping me. I'm now ready to fulfill that promise, if you'll listen." "Of course." Author's Note Yes I roped Lyra into this Yes why not I like the idea of them being under contract for something Mini-arc is over in one more chapter I think To explain in greater detail, Colgate is the pony of time, though she can only change so much (her limit is being able to go back in time at a maximum of fifty-nine minutes, hence her name), and Lyra is the pony of the heart, who can pull at the heart's 'strings' in an attempt to gently guide a pony's heart in the right direction, hence her name Yes more stupid headcanon yay
This is embarrassing, Lulu!This is embarrassing, Lulu! Where is Cadence? I haven't seen her around all day. With puzzlement, Luna was wandering around a section of the castle that was reserved entirely for guests, trying to find where Cadence was residing. She had wanted to talk with the pink alicorn, wanting to tell her of a new, mandatory meeting she had to go to, though she couldn't find her anywhere. That might change soon, though, as she was fast-approaching the last guest room, and she knew that with any luck (though right now she hardly considered herself 'lucky') gained out of searching through roughly five-hundred and twenty rooms, Cadence would be in the last one. She was about to open the door when she heard a loud thump, followed by the giggling of two ponies; curious, Luna opened the door to witness Cadence on top of Chrysalis. Luna was beginning to think she stumbled onto something she probably shouldn't have when Chrysalis looked up at her, and stopped her laughter, suddenly blushing. "A-Ah...Ah...This is embarrassing, Lulu! Please don't tell Tia! Lock the door too, please!" Cadence wrapped her hooves around Chrysalis' neck, laughing as she squeezed the poor changeling underneath her. "Oh, don't be silly, Chrys, this is nothing to get embarrassed over! It's just a little cuddle-wuddle-snuggle with a friend!" I'm not particularly sure what's going on, but the way Cadence is talking makes me want to throw up, repeatedly. Luna stepped inside the room, closed the door, then locked it, for Chrysalis' benefit. "Err. Do I even want to know why you two are on the floor, cuddling with each other?" Quickly, Chrysalis answered, short and to the point. "No!" On the other hoof, Cadence giggled, and winked at Luna. "Don't worry, auntie, now this is the story all about how Chrysalis got all snuggled up, it'll take just a minute so just sit right there and I'll tell you all about that blush on her face!" ...Okay. Luna sat down in front of Cadence, who then began to recite what happened, much to Chrysalis' discomfort (as she was still underneath the pink alicorn). "Ugh. Tia is sleeping, and Lulu is busy trying to figure out if the moon is made of cheese. Why, I don't know, but she's gone, and it's just us two." Chrysalis groaned, as she sat down lazily in a chair across from Cadence, who was doing a little light reading by going through a picture book. "Why are you reading that, anyway? It's for little foals, and last time I checked, you're a fully-grown alicorn." Cadence looked up with a smile. "I read these because I want to make sure I like it! I learned that if I didn't like a picture book I was reading to a little foal that I'm taking care of, such as Twilight, I wouldn't have enjoyed story-time as much as I would have if I did pick a story that I like!" "...So you're saying that you pick stories that you like, thus unintentionally guiding the foal you're taking care of to those particular stories? So, if I were to read nothing but princess stories to a foal, would I be giving them false dreams of becoming a princess?" "Oh, pfft, you're looking waaaaaay too into this! Reality will hit sooner or later! Or never, when you look at Lulu. Cheese, on the moon, ha!" Cadence went back into her book, leaving Chrysalis bored again without a conversation partner or anything to do. Not wanting to die of boredom, Chrysalis got up off from the chair, and settled down next to Cadence. The action was barely registered by the pink alicorn, whose attention was still on the picture book, and the most she did in response was to flutter her wings slightly. Hmm...I wonder... Chrysalis took a moment to look at Cadence, who continued to read the picture book. Her ability to concentrate on the most mundane things impressed Chrysalis. Right now, Chrysalis was drawing a blank on what she could do to distract Cadence; after all, there was only so much she could do. Her gaze tilted up slightly, and noticed that Cadence's ears were twitching slightly, which gave her a slightly disturbing but practically sure-fire way of getting Cadence's attention. A few moments of thinking passed before Chrysalis decided that nothing could really go wrong, and so, she reached up with her muzzle to gently bite on Cadence's right ear. The results were near instantantous as Cadence suddenly shuddered violently under the gentle bite, causing Chrysalis to stop biting, afraid that Cadence might try to floor her. Cadence turned her head around to look at Chrysalis with a look of bewilderment. "I never knew you were the snuggly type, Chrys!" What. I just wanted to bring your attention off from the book and find something to do with me! "I'm not, Caddy, I-" "Denial, huh?! Don't worry, as the princess of love, I can show you just how fun snuggling can be, especially with somepony you know!" Sensing that things were about to go horribly wrong for her, Chrysalis backed up away slowly from Cadence. "I-It's fine, Caddy! You don't have to show me!" Her words didn't dissuade Cadence's mind, and the pink alicorn pounced on top of Chrysalis and began tickling her, causing Chrysalis to giggle loudly, which Cadence soon joined in with, enjoying the forced snuggling. Nice one, Chrys. Luna couldn't help but snicker at Chrysalis, who glared at her. "Well...Snnrk...I just wanted to tell you, Caddy, that you have a meeting right after breakfast tomorrow, and it's mandatory, so please don't try to skip out." Cadence nodded slowly with a frown, not enjoying that particular bit of news. "Aw...That's a bummer. Is there anything else that you need to tell me?" "Other than that the meeting is about cake, no, that'll be all. Oh, and Chrys? Don't worry, I'll keep this...'Incident' away from Tia's ears. I'm sure that's satisfactory for you?" You have no idea, Lulu. Chrysalis gave the smallest of nods to Luna. "Very much so." Satisfied, Luna walked outside of the room, having told Cadence of a slight change in plans with the bonus of seeing Chrysalis so embarrassed. After Chrysalis locked the door after her with her magic, she sighed explosively. "I wish I knew that biting your right ear would make you all snuggly." "Oh, this is nothing! You should bite my left ea-" "NO." Author's Note Luna catches them in the naughty Ear-bites solve everything Chrysalis gets more than she bargained for Luna's mission to see if the moon was made of cheese was not successful Here have a picture
Ew, ew, ew, Tia!Ew, ew, ew, Tia! This would be the last thing I would be doing with the last pony that would cross my mind in the last place that I would chose while eating the last thing I'd chose to eat while...Being the first time I've actually had fun going out on a date with a pony that for the first time isn't intimidated to heck by me! The positive thought was from Celestia, who was currently residing in Spitfire's cloud-mansion, watching old kung-fu movies with her while eating deep-fried sushi (she didn't understand why Spitfire would ever deep-fry something that was supposed to be eaten raw, but the results were delicious, unhealthy and a delight to crunch in-between her teeth) and, of course, enjoying herself, which was very refreshing and a nice change to the usual antics that went on with her sister, Chrysalis, Nightmare Moon and sometimes Cadence. Speaking of which, she dumped quite a bit of work on Luna, but it wasn't anything too difficult, mostly just a few signatures that could or could not be given to some petitions. After the little kiss on the cheek earlier when Spitfire had asked for some extra bits for the Wonderbolts, Celestia had cornered Spitfire a few days later, and confessed to her that she had a slight interest with her after receiving said kiss. Amazingly, Spitfire merely grinned, and asked her out on a date to get to know her a little better, to which Celestia immediately accepted. It went off well, and now the two were simply hanging out in Spitfire's mansion, though in all honesty, Celestia was glad, as she wasn't sure if she wanted any of the other alicorns to know that she was now dating Spitfire (though she had a suspicion that Luna knew). "Awwh, yeah, it don't get no better than dat, Tia! Kung-fu movies are always da best things to watch while eatin' deep-fried chop-suey!" "Ya, Spit, it's nice seein' these pawnies ge-" Spitfire immediately placed a hoof on Celestia's mouth, and shook her head slowly with disappointment and dismay. "Tia, I luv ya, hun, but fer Faust's sake, dun try agin." Now, in an attempt to connect with Spitfire better, Celestia had begun to try speaking the way the captain of the Wonderbolts spoke like, and she thought she was doing fine. Unfortunately, in practice, with Celestia speaking properly most of her life (which was countless years), the attempt to change from properly speaking to broken Equestrian that was vaguely able to be understood was nigh impossible for the alicorn. She tried, and Spitfire immediately stopped her before any more damage could be done. Even so, Lives were forever changed when Celestia tried talking, and some ponies would never again look at her the same way again. Slowly, Spitfire removed her hoof from Celestia's mouth, and the princess smiled sheepishly at her. "...Sorry, Spitfire." "It's okay, luv, ya tried. Badly, but ya tried." Just as the protagonist (Berry Punch the drunken) of the kung-fu movie was about to face off against the antagonist (Ditsy Doo the invincible), one of Spitfire's servants began walking up to the two. Spitfire saw the servant approaching them, and paused the movie. "Luv, can ya get more sushi out fer me while I attend to whaeva this servant needs?" "Of course, Spitfire." Celestia gave Spitfire a kiss on the cheek, and the pegasus just managed to keep her blush under control as the alicorn left to travel down into the kitchens. Once she was out of sight, she turned over to her servant, and coughed. "Ya?" "Excuse me, mistress, but you have another guest waiting outside. Shall I admit them in or chase them off with a broomstick?" Spitfire narrowed her eyes slightly. "Is it ma sister Rainbaw Das agin, demandin' she gets in tha W-Team n' wants 'er Lulu plushie back?" "No, mistress, it's not your sister, but it is rather ironic that you mention your sister's plushie, as at our door is indeed princess Luna, Spitfire." "Aw, hell, let 'er in! I ain't makin' Tia's sister wait!" "Very well, mistress." The servant bowed before walking off, and Spitfire walked back over to the sofa, awaiting Celestia to return with the sushi, and for princess Luna to arrive. Huh. Neva though I'd be datin' a princess, but it's...Nice. She's like Fley Truths, tho not as scary... Spitfire began musing over past ex's, most of which happened to be unicorns. I wondah what Twi would say if she saw me n' Tia tahgether...It's too bad me n' Twi didn't hit it off tha great...Ah well, she's a bookie, I can't handle her. The faint sound of hooves hitting the floor caused her to turn her head around, and Spitfire watched as Luna made her way over to her. "Hey-o Loony!" "Hello Spit!" Luna smiled; Spitfire was one of the few ponies that wasn't so easily intimidated by her. "I understand Tia is here?" "Ya, we've been watchin' a kung-fu movie while eatin' deep-fried sushi!" ...You...Deep-fry sushi? Luna tried to comprehend what Spitfire said before sighing. Spitfire's...Unique, I have to say that much. "I...See. Well, Spitfire, I've come to tell Tia that it's almost time for her to lower the sun, but I don't see her anywhere with you. Where is she?" "Alright, Spitfire, I got the sushi! Oh, hi Lulu." "Thar she is, Lulu!" Spitfire grinned as she stepped up to Celestia and gave her a kiss on the cheek before taking the plate of deep-fried sushi from her. "Thanks, luv!" A small smile and slight blush was on Celestia's face from the kiss, and she was about to comment on it, Luna made a very inappropriate noise, causing Celestia to look at her sister with worry. "Is something wrong, Lulu?" "Yes! Ew, ew, ew, Tia! You two are...Dating?!" Unfortunately for Luna, a slight nod from her sister told her everything she needed to know (even though she never wanted to know in the first place). "That's gross!" Spitfire was openly frowning at Luna now, wondering why she was suddenly against the two. "There a prob', Lulu?" Luna made a face, and nodded furiously. "Yes! There's nothing as disgusting as knowing that your older sister is going out on a date with somepony!" With a sigh, Celestia gently nuzzled Spitfire (ignoring the fact that Luna was pointedly looking away). "I'll be back sometime tomorrow, Spitfire, if I can make some time." "Eh, no worries, luv! Ta-ta!" Spitfire waved a hoof in dismissal, and Celestia began walking out with Luna, who was glaring at her. Sighing, Spitfire resumed the movie, watching as Ditsy Doo suplexed Berry Punch to the ground. Ouch. That's gotta hurt. Not three seconds after they left the mansion, Luna cuffed Celestia over the head. "Tia, I can't believe you! You dumped all that work on me to go on a date with Spitfire!" Celestia was quite frankly surprised that Luna even mentioned the work, for she forgot all about it after seeing Berry Punch headbutt Ditsy Doo. "Oh, you're done with all the work?" Luna shook her head. "No, I dumped it on Bluey and Chrys. That's not the point, though! The point is, it's weird to see you dating somepony! You're my sister!" Celestia wasn't quite sure what Luna was getting at. "So?" A groan left Luna, who was waving her hooves around in agitation. "It's gross! I don't want to see you in the future getting lovey-dovey with Spitfire, making doe eyes at each other and...Urrgh, calling each other pet names! The thought of it makes me want to throw up!" "...Then why haven't you?" "What?" You aren't saying that... "We already make doe eyes at each other, call each other pet names, and some other stuff." A poor choice of words on Celestia's part, as she had to explain to Applejack why pony-vomit suddenly rained down from the sky upon her. Author's Note Commence the SpitTia shipping I kind of want to keep the accent but it's getting painful to write It was never this hard with the pirate kitchen worker Yes I'm having Spitfire and 'Rainbaw Das' as sisters, just like Vinyl is sisters with Rarity Berry Punch and Ditsy Doo are professional actors but they forgot it was supposed to be kung-fu and not wrestling
Turn it DOWN, Lulu!Turn it DOWN, Lulu! Now, I haven't questioned my sister's music choices...Too much. Sure, some of it is annoying, but it's fine for the most part, and I have even enjoyed some of what she has found and shared with me; it's a rather nice change to what I usually listen to. However, when she's blasting some very loud 'rock' music around the castle at the sound levels that are higher than a sonic rainboom, there's a problem, and one that threatens to cause me to go deaf. My poor ears cannot handle this noisy assault any longer so yes, I must unfortunately be a killjoy; I must stop my sister from destroying our second castle with her music! ...Even though it sounds nice. I like nice music. A somewhat determined Celestia (with extreme noise-cancelling earmuffs mounted on her ears, which, while stopped most of the noise, didn't stop the feeling of wading through a sea of sound) was struggling to walk to Luna's room, and indeed, it almost felt like having her face forced to the floor from the sheer intensity of the music. I have to admit, the song doesn't sound bad; BUT COME ON, IT'S TOO LOUD FOR ANYPONY TO SERIOUSLY APPRECIATE THE MUSIC. Luna's lucky there's plenty of these earmuffs to go around for all the ponies working here, because I'm sure they'd have gone deaf by now. Celestia struggled against the immense wall of sound when she noticed that something was different. It wasn't immediately obvious to her, though, until she realized that she was no longer walking through what felt like jelly; it took a moment for Celestia to figure out what it was, after she slowly pulled her earmuffs off. There was no music. It wasn't her earmuffs blocking out the sound, because there was no sound at all to be heard anywhere. Seizing the opportunity, Celestia sprinted towards Luna's room, taking the most of the temporary break in music to get closer to the madness. Unfortunately, this break was very, very short, as the music blared outwards again, causing Celestia to cringe as the wall of sound came back, giving back the feeling of wading through a sea of sound. Ugh! I'm just a few steps away from the door! Come on! Why would you play music this loud, Lulu?! As fate would have it, the song currently playing was now unintentionally mocking her. Either way, it makes ya mad! ...Am I being mocked right now?! Okay, that is it! Perfectly timed song lyrics that make fun of my rage, though unintentional as it may be, are very infuriating for me! With renewed determination, Celestia pushed through the barrier of sound, slowly gaining ground, when suddenly, the door to Luna's room was blown off its hinges, hurtling towards Celestia, who closed her eyes and braced herself, not wanting to witness what was going to impact her. Fittingly, the appropriate song lyric accompanied the door, 'you might as well ask for the door, end over end'. A world of pain met Celestia's head, and stayed there; she wanted to stop and lick her wounds, but Luna was about to bring down the whole castle on top of them if she didn't stop playing her music. With a groan, Celestia opened her eyes, and was confused when all she saw was brown. Huh. I...Oh, for Faust's sake, I now have door impaled on my horn! Just you wait, Lulu! With grim determination, Celestia (and the door impaled on her horn which was causing extreme stress) managed to enter Luna's room (how, Celestia never figured out, but she never wanted to remember this incident anyway). She immediately yelled at her sister, hoping that the sound of her voice would drown out the music. "Turn it DOWN, Lulu!" Unfortunately, her command was unheeded by her sister, who...Seemed to be sleeping. Sleeping. With music being played that was louder than a jet engine. I swear, Lulu, I...I...Okay, now, this is just getting absolutely ridiculous and dumb. Inside Luna's room was Chrysalis and Cadence, who were listening to their own music on their own iHOOF's while playing patty-cake (and having not even notice Celestia enter the room), which only served to infuriate Celestia more. As Celestia continued walking over to Luna, who was the more serious offender here (and had gigantic sub-woofers broadcasting the music), she noticed something that finally pushed her over the limit. There was a plug that wasn't plugged in that was just outside one of the ports. Her gaze followed the wiring of the plug, where it eventually led to Luna's headphones. They weren't plugged in. Celestia felt the last of her sanity slip away as she stared at her snoozing sister, then at Chrysalis and Cadence. Suddenly overcome by a bout of laughter, Celestia grinned manically, and tore out the power plug from Luna's speakers, which effectively silenced the music; the Faust-Forsaken music that was playing stopped. It also happened to wake up Luna with a snort. "Why has the music stopped playing?! T-Tia?! What are you doing here?! ...And why is there a door impaled on your head?" "...Music...Is...Too loud..." Although Luna couldn't see Celestia's facial expression (owing to the door on her head), Celestia had a look of extreme displeasure on her face, the kind that literally screamed 'don't push your luck'. Unfortunately for Luna, she didn't know this, and so she suffered the consequences. "Is that what you're really jawing at me about? Pfft! Music too loud. You're just trying to limit my freedom! My headphones are clearly plugged in!" Celestia's next words caused a chill to go down Luna's spine. "Headphones...Weren't...Plugged in...I'm going to...Kill you..." Luna looked down at her headphone jack and indeed saw that her headphones weren't plugged in at all. The fact that she was playing her music on the sound setting 'louder than a jet engine' probably didn't help either, and neither did the fact that her sister was breathing heavily and with what seemed to be an amazing desire to murder her literally radiating off from her. Luna giggled uncomfortably for a moment before dashing off, followed by Celestia screaming at her. "I'M GOING TO BLOODY MURDER YOU, LULU!" As the two sisters left the room, both of them screaming for entirely different reasons, Chrysalis took off her headphones, and Cadence followed suit a few seconds later. "Did you hear something, Caddy? Could've sworn I heard something." Cadence merely shrugged, looking around Luna's room for signs of what may have happened. "I'm not exactly sure what it was you heard, but I can guess. Luna's gone, and so is the door." Chrysalis rolled her eyes, and clapped her hooves once. "Tia?" "Tia." With a nod, Chrysalis began the motions of placing her headphones back on. "Ah, Tia." Swiftly, a pink hoof reached out to stop Chrysalis from completing her desired action. "I just said it was Tia." "...I know you said Tia." Chrysalis once again tried to put her headphones back on, though she was stopped once again by Cadence. "Then stop saying Tia!" "No! You stop saying Tia!" The beginnings of a bitter battle between Chrysalis and Cadence surfaced as the two prepared to engage in a game of extreme patty-cake. Author's Note Requested (somewhat) by Granitecrab, I didn't use the bands you listed but I searched around the genre and found Chevelle, which I quite enjoy now (at least I don't think you mentioned Chevelle, I'm too lazy to find the comment again) Neither did I use the idea of them arguing about bands but I do intend on doing that in a later chapter Luna also enjoys Chevelle, she must take after me Ever forget to plug in your headphones
I've fulfilled that promise, Tia! (Colgate Arc)I've fulfilled that promise, Tia! (Colgate Arc) Tension was everywhere; in the air, ponies, and especially in us ponies under the contract, Tia. You assigned a great many of us to look after the Elements of Harmony, and while that helped in terms of giving us less duties, it also meant that you were spending less time training each pony, to the point where you only gave ponies under your contract the most basic battle-practice instead of teaching them the history of their position and the more advanced techniques of war, which most likely was the reason so many of us fell that day. Heartstrings and I were guarding the Elements at the time. I was taking a little nap when... "Minuette." The sound of her partner's voice caused Minuette to look up with a yawn, who watched as Lyra placed down her crossword puzzle. "Yes, Heartstrings?" Instead of replying, Heartstrings waved a hoof at two ponies who were walking up towards them. Unfortunately, Minuette's eyesight was blurred slightly from her nap. With a sigh, Minuette rubbed at her eyes to clearly see two other ponies, and judging by the fact that she had not seen these ones, new ones that had been trained by Celestia and put under the contract. Again. Why, exactly, are you training so many ponies? One would think that you were raising your own private army, Tia. Despite her own personal thoughts on the matter, she knew that it did not matter in the long run; she was nothing but a glorified guard, and right now, until these two checked out, they were potential threats to the twin thrones of Equestria and the Elements of Harmony. "Halt. Identification?" Both of the ponies spoke softly in unison the traditional contract oath and code that was their (rather long-winded) form of identification. "To serve, and only serve the princesses of Equestria and the Elements of Harmony, is my eternal vow, and nothing but death may tear us from it. Be it rain, snow, or a threat to all that Equestria holds dear, the enemies that wish us harm will have to go through us, first. We are the first and last line of defense, the first ones into danger, and the last ones out of it. We are true. We are pure. We are eternal." Despite the code being spoken perfectly, Minuette couldn't help but think that they did something wrong, so she opened up a telepathic link with her partner. I'm bothered. Sure, there's no hesitation in the reply, it was perfectly synchronized, and they don't look shifty, though something still feels off. What think you, Heartstrings? I think them fine to me, Minuette. Green, obviously, like the colour of my fur, as well as looking like the kind of ponies that I'd find in a street gang rather than contracted ponies like us, but they pass. Barely. You probably are just accustomed to seeing high-class ponies and forgot what the riff-raff looked like on the street. I know I haven't. Despite your cruel words about the unfortunate ponies on the street and the passive-aggressive baiting you're giving me, I concur with your analysis. Minuette yawned again, softly before smiling at the two ponies; first impressions to rookies were very important, after all. "Welcome, comrades. Here to relieve a pair of bored ponies from guard duty?" The mare on the left nodded slowly, and spoke in a voice that Minuette would forever wonder about how she ever managed to speak the oath without having any sign of her accent bleeding through. "Ya. Name iz Cloud Kickah. Mare next ta me is Sassyflash." A groan came from the turquoise pony. "It's 'Sassaflash', not 'Sassyflash'." Cloud Kicker cuffed Sassaflash over the ear with a scowl on her face. "Whaeva, ya try speakin' wid mah accent. N' way, we be takin' over a pair of ya posts, n' I'd be glad ta take yers, Minuette, Heartstings. I've gone and done a 'lil research on ya two; yew two are almost due fer 'retirement'. Hows it feel?" Ah; a pony that does some research on their fellow guardians a bit. I'm glad we aren't leaving the Eternal guard in the hooves of total idiots and rookies. "It'll be nice," Minuette spoke softly, dreaming of the day where she and Heartstrings could live a normal life. "I have seen so many new things over the past one-hundred years, and while I thank Celestia and Luna for taking me in, introducing to my partner Heartstrings, and braving the perils that have plagued Equestria, I think it's time that I finally live my own life, experiencing the things that other ponies can that I myself cannot." Heartstings chirped in, eager to add her input. "Oh, yes, it will be wonderful to finally be a normal pony, although I have no wish to be back on the streets, where the princesses found me." The mare nodded, taking the time to mull over the answers before speaking. "I see. Well, Sassyflash, let's g-" Cloud Kicker never finished that sentence because a giant explosion occurred, blowing open a hole in the ceiling and instinctively lowering all four ponies into battle-ready stances. What they didn't expect to see, though, was a pair of battered, singed, and wounded ponies fall down from the ceiling. Immediately, all four ponies scrambled up to them, and Minuette realized that these ponies were under the same contract that she and Heartstrings were under. Oh, Faust; this doesn't look too good. "Heartstings, condition, stat!" "Waaaay ahead of you. They're alive, but barely. Unconscious. Can survive to live another day; these ponies are tough." Heartstrings looked up at the gaping hole in the ceiling, frowning slightly. "A few days rest and magical healing influence should fix them up." ...Alright, that's reassuring...Somewhat. But why was there an explosion, and a pair of contracted ponies that seem to be suffering from the result of it? Minuette's question was answered as two alicorns suddenly crashed through the same ceiling that the two ponies came through, causing the four guardians to quickly back up towards the Elements of Harmony (with Cloudkicker and Sassaflash carrying the two unconscious guards upon their backs). The two sisters were breathing heavily, and each seemed to bear wounds. Celestia's, however, were far more severe-looking, while Luna seemed to have very minor injuries. What shocked Minuette the most, however, were Luna's eyes; hatred filled them entirely, and all that hatred was being directed at her sister. Decked out in armor that Minuette never knew she had and a new look that just screamed 'scary'. In contrast, Celestia's eyes were filled with sadness and remorse, as if a foal had broken their favorite toy. She was clad in her signature golden armor, but it was dented and even broken in a few places, smeared with blood that Minuette did not ever want to know where it came from. ...Heartstrings, what say you? I think we're about to have our loyalties tested. Minuette was going to ask why her partner thought that, when Luna turned her head around to face them, snarling out a command as she took a step towards them. "Guardians! Hoof me the Elements so I can make an example of my sister!" A blast of magical energy caused Luna to take a step back and growl aggressively, and the guardians turned their heads towards Celestia, who shook her head violently. "No! Don't listen to her! She's...Possessed, by some...Thing! This is not Luna!" I hate it when you're right, Heartstings. I hate it too, when I don't want to be right. The question is, though, which princess' orders do we follow? We are at quite the pickle, Minuette; we cannot ignore the orders of either princess, as they have equal power, and Cloudkicker and Sassaflash seem to be hoofing over the ability to chose to us, as per regulation whenever a rookie guardian is near the company of an experienced one, and feels unable to- Bah! I know the rules, Heartstrings. She shot a glare at the younger guardians, who smiled sheepishly at her. In any case, what think you, should we do? The two alicorns looked expectantly at the guardians, who slowly felt like their time was running out. There was a slight pause as Heartstrings stepped back towards the Elements of Harmony, and both alicorns tensed, both eager and terrified to find out who's orders Heartstrings would follow. ...We are bound to the princesses, but our greater duty is to Equestria, which overrides any loyalty to the princesses as far as I'm concerned, so the contract will not kill us if we happen to go against one, or even both of the princesses as Equestria is far more important than the figureheads leading it. If I had to choose, however, I would pick Celestia, as she seems...A little more composed than Luna. Wait...If you had to choose? The ball falls in your hooves, Minuette. Promise me that whatever happens, you live long enough to tell either princess our side of the story. Shall we support Celestia? Do we give our trust to Luna? Or shall we attempt to take them both on? The blue unicorn gulped as the responsibility of choosing which alicorn to support (as she immediately rejected Heartstring's third option) fell upon her. I...I promise, Heartstrings. As much as I hate to say it...It seems like we'll be supporting Celestia, as I trust her more. Minuette sighed, and looked up at the ceiling, stretching her hooves out. "...I've fulfilled that promise, Tia! I estimate our casualties to number in the hundreds, and with such a dent in our numbers, we were unable to assist you with the political fallout and provide support after this event. However, there were just enough of us to act upon what we saw fit to benefit Equestria, namely by eliminating groups that sought to usurp your power, helping out ponies that were affected the most by Luna's banishment to the moon, and doing all the little things that would cement your power over the next one-thousand years. After that...We argued. Some of us wanted to live as normal ponies again, others wanted to continue serving you, despite the fact that we could not directly place ourselves under your command." "That's what I'm confused about," Celestia spoke up, feeling saddened at what her contracted ponies had to go through, "I was awaiting your return for a long, long time. Why could you not serve me?" Heartstrings spoke up, having been quiet as Minuette explained their side of the story. "That would've been suicidal. Our contract states that we serve both princesses of Equestria, and do not favor one princess over another. Since Luna was banished and had no way of receiving the benefits of us contracted ponies, that theoretically would be 'favoring' you, and the contract would enact it's punishment and 'fail-safe' protocol." With a nod at Heartstrings that was returned, the two suddenly got off the sofa, and knelt down at Princess Celestia's hooves. However, since Luna has returned and you have found us... We wish to be assigned under a new contract, under the both of you, with better rules that do not restrict us as much as they have before. Although Celestia wanted to release them forever, she knew that she could use more help. "I accept, and will make a new contract for you two soon." Author's Note If you're wondering how the heck I came up with 'Sassaflash' Cloud Kicker lost the accent over time and no she's not hitting on everypony she sees in this story because she likes waffles instead This isn't a funny chapter and I apologize but then again this arc wasn't supposed to be funny so I don't know if I should feel bad Arc is over I think I shall create an information bank of sorts later for parts of the story (mostly about this 'contract') later Oh my god I almost went over two-thousand words with this chapter without any humor, shame on me
Give me my noodles, Lulu!Give me my noodles, Lulu! It's almost done. I can sense the warmth of the water heating it up quickly, making it possible for me to eat the delicious, previously unable to be eaten bounty hidden within. I shall be quick as lightning when it actually is done, pouncing upon my prey with no mercy for it as I eat my fill. My fork is ready. The noodles are not. Instant ramen in a cup, you're mine! ...When you finish cooking. Soon. Very soon. But not soon enough. Nightmare Moon was glaring at a cup of noodles, tail swishing behind her to and fro like a cat about to pounce on its prey. She was hungry, and the cup of noodles she had made were going to provide her with the nourishment that she so desperately needed. Sure, she could have demanded that the chefs make something for her, or raid Luna's fridge for moon pies, but she didn't want to bother the kitchen staff (and they still took forever to make anything that was even remotely edible), and she also didn't want to be maimed by Luna after she found out that she had her moon pies stolen, respectively. C'mon, c'mon...Cook faster...My stomach is itching to devour your slightly-too-salty goodness! So focused upon her noodles that Nightmare Moon didn't notice Luna creeping up behind her, wondering why she was raising her rump up to the air and shaking it around, where anypony could see it. That's not a very flattering pose for you, Moonie. It would be best if you waved your rump in a slightly slower way; that'd be more attractive, because right now, it's making my eyes bleed. What are you doing, anyway? Luna circled around Nightmare Moon, curious as to what her concentration was on. To her surprise, it was just one of those cup of noodle things that she heard college students go on a 'diet' on, which also contained a lot of sodium and weren't healthy to eat at all in mass quantities. Which meant it was one of the perfect foods for alicorns, which also meant that they had to eat these things in moderation. Moonie, I can't believe you! You would eat something so unhealthy when there are better options to eat, such as moon pies?! No wonder you're getting as big as Tia now. Determined to not let Nightmare Moon become as fat as her sister, Luna levitated the cup of noodles away. This action was not appreciated by Nightmare Moon, who whined as it flew up out of her reach. "Nooooooodles! Noooooo! Come back! I have not finished stalking you and taking you into my belly!" In any other situation, Luna would have laughed, but she was dead-set on making sure these noodles weren't consumed. "No, Moonie! You need to eat real food, not a cup of noodles! Why don't you eat a salad or some fish-steaks from the kitchen?!" Nightmare Moon pouted at Luna while waving her fork in the air. "The kitchen staff take forevvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvver to make anything that's actually edible that won't kill me in the process!" ...Oh, right, I forgot about that. She does have a point. "Well...Why a cup of noodles, then? I mean, there's a lot of other foods that you could eat instead." "No! No, no, and of course, heck no! Give me my noodles, Lulu! I prepared them, and I want to eat them! You cannot stop me from eating such an amazing piece of heaven, and I won't let you stop me!" One would think that it was impossible for Nightmare Moon to eat anything else, with the way she keeps going on about how heavenly these noodles are. Seriously, though, cup noodles, out of all things? I'd be laughing if it weren't for the fact that Nightmare Moon actually looks serious right now. With a wave of her right hoof, Luna tried to fend off Nightmare Moon's advance upon her. "Look, Moonie...I understand that you made these noodles, but...Can't you make something else? I'm sure there's something else you can make that isn't as unhealthy." With a gasp of horror, Nightmare Moon grabbed the cup of noodles violently from Luna, and held the cup close to her, glaring at Luna with sudden fury in her eyes. "A cup of noodles requires some of the least preparation for it's massive benefit gain! You most likely do not have the willpower to stand up to the deliciousness of these noodles, but I do, just barely! They are perfect, absolutely perfect, and anypony who says less about them says less about me! So what if they're not the most healthy food in the world to eat, lots of other stuff isn't healthy at all, but ponies still eat them!" She looked down at the cup of noodles in her hooves, and began stroking it gently, smiling down on the cup of noodles as if it were her foal. "It's okay, mommy's here to protect you now, with her life..." Quite frankly, Luna's confusion only grew as she watched the disturbing sight of Nightmare Moon cradle the cup of noodles in her grasp, and then give it a little kiss. "Ooooooookaaaaaaay. I think I've seen everything now when it comes to ponies obsessed with food, and I've seen a lot with Tia around." Nightmare Moon gave no comment as she gently peeled back the paper lid on the cup of noodles, and readied her fork to plunge into it's unhealthy, noodle depths of deliciousness. "I'm sorry, baby, but even you have to go sometime!" Without restraint, Nightmare Moon began eating the cup of noodles, with an intensity that would put out even the most intense fires simply by how intense it was. It was just that intense. I cannot unsee what has been seen, and if I ever had a wish to unsee something forever, this would be it, as Nightmare Moon's eating habits when it concerns a cup of noodles is very disturbing. Luna quickly walked away, leaving Nightmare Moon with her cup of noodles. Fare thee well, Nightmare Moon, I hope you realize the evil that those cup noodles bring, and quickly, too, before you get consumed by the madness, if you have not been already. Author's Note Nightmare Moon x cup of noodles The best ship ever Too bad it sinks like everything else
My accent is fake, Tia!My accent is fake, Tia! I wonder if I should break it to Tia yet; after all, she still thinks that the terrible accent I put on is actually my real voice. I think I'll break it to her today; there's no reason to continue putting it off, and at least I'll have some back-up with me. Spitfire was flying low and slow over towards Canterlot's castle, debating on the possible pros and cons on what she was doing. On one hoof, Celestia would probably be happy that she could now understand what she was saying (Spitfire herself sometimes didn't know what she was spouting off), but on the other hoof, it was part of her charm, so to speak, and it was the public image that she had, so revealing who she actually was like was very different then putting on 'air' and pretending to act like somepony she wasn't. I have to admit, I'm a bit scared, like one of those school-fillies admitting to another pony that they have a crush on them. I just hope my sister can provide some support for me, as well as...Not screw things up, like she usually does. With a sigh, Spitfire touched down near the entrance of the castle, where Rainbow Dash was waiting for her with a grin on her face. Steeling herself for what would most likely be humiliating words from her sister, she walked on over to her, giving a simple greeting. "Hey, sis." "Hey." Surprisingly enough, Rainbow Dash didn't open up with a 'smart' snark at her. "So you need some backup trying to explain how your accent isn't really real to Princess Celestia? Doesn't this, like, break every pony that you tell, and causes them to be sent to a mental hospital for a few weeks?" Unfortunately, that snark came right after the greeting. Spitfire rolled her eyes as she strode inside the castle, followed closely by Rainbow Dash. "I'm sure this time will be different! After all, I'm sure Princess Celestia has met ponies who have been hiding secrets. Mine isn't that big of a deal!" "Sis, everypony thinks you're a hard-talking pony that grew up on the streets without a bit to her name and somehow managed to become a Wonderbolt. I'm pretty sure they aren't expecting the truth about that pegasus who happens to instead be a pegasus that lived a comfortable middle-class life, a weekly allowance, likes to meditate, eats healthy and actually likes wearing dresses and slow-dancing." Spitfire continued walking ahead, giving back a snark of her own at her sister. "Who was the one that made up that ridiculous back-story for me which somehow got accepted as the truth?" Now on the defensive, Rainbow Dash tried to defend her reasoning. "Hey, the story you submitted to the press that one time was downright boring and totally uncool! I had to spice it up a little! Nopony would believe that a middle-class pegasus managed to be a Wonderbolt. I did you a favor that you haven't returned for me yet!" I don't think having me fight up ninjas from space while I was tied to a chair, had a time-bomb strapped to my chest while blindfolded and forced to eat fried alfalfa spiced with a few bottles of hot sauce is considered 'spicing' things up a little, Rainbow Dash. Ah, well...No point in continuing to argue, we'll just end up fighting each other, and that would make a poor impression on Celestia. "Whatever, Dashie. We should be approaching Celestia soon, so I'd rather not have to tell her the truth while we're arguing with each other." Despite the fact that Rainbow Dash wanted to continue arguing about how much cooler she made her sister, she knew that it was probably best if she saved it for later. "Alright. What are you going to say to Celestia, anyway?" "...I have no idea, but it looks like we're about to find out." The two had stumbled upon Celestia, who was eating some apple-pie in the dining hall. Upon seeing the two, the princess waved over at them, and Spitfire waved back with a slight smile on her face. "Hope she understands." "She probably won't, like Twilight did when you went out with her. Which, by the way, was gross knowing about." "Hey, I didn't know." Spitfire thought it was pretty funny to see the shocked expression on her sister's face when she mentioned that she had formerly dated Twilight. She had never seen Rainbow Dash puke so fast. The distance between casually eating an apple-pie Celestia and slightly nervous Spitfire closed slowly, but it wasn't long before Spitfire was sitting down next to Celestia, with Rainbow Dash hovering next to her. "Hello, Spitfire! Hello to you as well, Rainbow Dash. I have to say, I wasn't expecting you two to show up today." "Well, that's because Spitfire has something to tell you, Princess." Rainbow Dash spoke up for Spitfire, as they had rehearsed earlier (it only took them twenty tries to get the right words that Spitfire wanted her sister to say). "Oh?" Celestia's curiosity was now taking an active interest in Spitfire, wondering what the captain of the Wonderbolts had to say. "Well, what do you have to say, Spit?" "It's about my accent. My accent is fake, Tia! I had to go along with it since my idiotic sister-" Rainbow Dash was quick to complain, almost as fast as she was to fly. "Hey!" Spitfire, however, continued over her after shooting her sister a glare. "...Changed my back-story I sent to the press into something that was totally untrue and I was forced to act like some hard-life pony with a really bad accent." "Like your description was any better! It was so boooooooring and uncool!" Before a sisterly brawl could erupt (Spitfire and Rainbow Dash were absolute terrors for their parents whenever they began fighting each other), Celestia intervened with a few words that Spitfire didn't expect she'd hear as an answer from her current marefriend. "Oh. I already knew the accent was fake." "I...What?" A look of confusion washed over Spitfire, and that same confusion was apparent in Rainbow Dash. "How did you know?" "Well," Celestia began, taking a moment to bite into her remaining apple pie before continuing, "I'm sure you've remembered me trying to talk like you?" "Oh. You mean..." "Yes, I indeed visited the ponies that truly have the accent you try to imitate, and while many ponies would be fooled, you cannot fool somepony that truly knows how to talk Manehattan. I asked around, and many ponies whom I talked to said that your accent was not right." "Oh." Spitfire was embarrassed that Celestia had known that her accent was fake. "Well...You don't mind that I lied to you?" "Not at all, Spitfire! Do you want some apple pie? I know I want some more" A look was exchanged between the two sisters before both nodded furiously. "Sure!" Author's Note They came to discuss a lie Instead they got apple pie Spitfire's accent says bye This all rhymes, why
The sea is terrible, Lulu!The sea is terrible, Lulu! I know not what has happened, but mine sister looks like she fought with death itself, and then went along and partied with Pinkie Pie and Discord! Luna was with a sheepish looking Chrysalis (the latter of whom was with Celestia), and the two were sitting down next to a sickly looking Celestia, who had heaved up the contents of lunch. Repeatedly. Buckets were stationed nearby in the event that Celestia began throwing up more of her lunch in an attempt to keep the environment vomit-free. If there's one thing I know now, it's that one should never attend an 'all-you-can-eat' buffet before going somewhere important. Though her sister looked incredibly sick, Luna still had not been told why. "Chrys, what happened at the naval port today? I haven't seen Tia this sick in...Well, forever!" Celestia croaked out, immediately bringing the attention to her. "B-Bucket!" Not wanting her sister to make a mess in a clean hospital setting, Luna grabbed a bucket and quite literally shoved it at her sister. Just in time, too, as Celestia retched, causing Chrysalis to wince. "The sea is terrible, Lulu! You cannot fathom how unlucky Tia was to be hit by seasickness!" Huh? Confused, Luna looked up at Chrysalis. "I thought Tia was just visiting the captain in charge of the newly constructed cruise ship, The Amazing Grace?" Chrysalis squirmed a bit in her seat, obviously uncomfortable with what she had to say. "Weeeeeell...You see, she was invited onto the boat, and she couldn't refuse, the way the captain worded it. I couldn't help her, either; any attempt to leave the scene would have been considered rude." "You mean..." A single nod from Chrysalis, confirming Luna's fears. "It couldn't be avoided at all." "Tell me everything. Now." A groan from Celestia caused Luna to ready a new, fresh bucket. "Okay. It all started after we met Captain Pepper Jack after leaving Fancy Pant's restaurant, having just eaten our fill of food with the all-you-can-eat special, and we were just about to conclude our tour outside of the new ship when..." "Well, I have to admit, this is a very wonderful ship, Captain Pepper Jack!" "Indeed! It's been a long time in the making, and made to my exact specifications!" Celestia was currently touring with Chrysalis, with Pepper Jack being their guide and the captain of the ship, The Amazing Grace. They were here to see off the ship during shakedown, after which it would make its maiden voyage. The full tummy gained from eating at Fancy Pant's restaurant also helped make things very enjoyable for Celestia. So far, things were going splendidly, and the tour was coming to a close, so Celestia felt it time to quickly leave; she did not like being near the sea. "Well, Captain Pepper Jack, this has been a very nice tour, but Chrysalis and I must conclude this to be over and return to the castle." "Hm? Leaving so soon, princesses?" Pepper Jack frowned, obviously discontent with the fact that the princesses were leaving. "We haven't even toured on the ship yet, which is the best part! It's not really a tour of the ship if we haven't actually toured inside of it! Besides, you need to actually make sure that everything is in top shape yourself!" I'm not sure I'm liking where this is going, at all. How can I refuse in a polite manner...? Celestia cast her eyes on Chrysalis, begging for desperate help, though, regretfully, none was able to be given by the changeling, as Pepper Jack strode over to a bridge that led up to The Amazing Grace. "Princess Celestia, come up! The ship awaits your inspection! Jump in the boat! Open your eyes and see the surprises we have for you up in the boat!" "Be strong, Tia!" Chrysalis whispered as she strode up to her, trying to calm her down, "I know you can get through this!" "I certainly hope so..." With a resigned sigh of defeat, Celestia walked up the bridge, and soon stood on the deck of The Amazing Grace. Already, Celestia was beginning to feel a little bit queasy simply by standing on the deck; she did not take well to the slight rocking motions of the boat. "Come, come!" Pepper Jack waved, and Celestia walked over to the captain, with Chrysalis trailing behind her. "Up there is the bridge, where I will be steering the ship around on its voyages! And here is..." The tour continued on, but as time went by, Celestia found herself becoming increasingly unable to concentrate on Pepper Jack's words and more on the slight swaying motion of the boat. Chrysalis was becoming increasingly worried about Celestia, and had slowly strayed closer to the solar alicorn's side until she was directly pressing up against her. "Tia, just say you are feeling unwell and must go..." Slowly, Celestia shook her head, still unable to bring herself to simply say she was unwell. "I-I cannot, Chrys. I do not w-wish to sound rude to Pepper Jack! You said open your eyes, and, I said I don't like surprises..." Chrysalis rolled her eyes at the reference to a certain song, and decided to play along for Celestia's benefit, if it meant that she wasn't concentrating on her weakness on boats. "You said surprise, you're up to your knees in the water and don't have a life vest." Smiling slightly as Chrysalis played along with her, Celestia sang a little louder. "I know, I know, I know, but don't worry, 'cause I've got it figured out." Pepper Jack looked behind her, confused on why the two alicorns were slowing down. "Is something wrong?" Celestia was now in full-swing as she continued singing along the lyrics to the song. "You said, jump in the boat, mare!" Similarly, Chrysalis continued singing along with Celestia, enjoying the small moment. "I said, no you reach your hoof!" "You said the storms that will come will be more than enough and alone you cannot win!" Celestia twirled around Chrysalis, giggling at the look of disbelief on Pepper Jack's face. "You know, you know, you know without hope, you'll only sink not swim!" Perhaps they would have gone through the whole song, if Celestia suddenly didn't run over to the side of the boat, and threw up, with her stomach finally being unable to hold back the uncomfortable queasiness. "...That's what happened, Lulu." Luna was struggling to come to terms with the absolutely dumbest story she had ever heard. That's...I don't... "...So, let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly; you two got up on The Amazing Grace, Celestia mentioned the lyrics to a song, which ended up in you two singing on it, and then Tia threw up." Chrysalis nodded slowly, realizing just how silly it all sounded. "...Pretty much." "...Can I have the name of the song?" Author's Note Celestia can't hold her lunch She gets seasick easily I'm not entirely sure what this chapter was supposed to be about
I need marshmallows, Tia!I need marshmallows, Tia! Although many ponies like it when it gets cold, many of those ponies also agree that sometimes, it can be unbearable, as is all things in excess (though, many would argue that having too many friends is the exception). The cold bites, it snaps, and it doesn't get any better when the wind and rain decide to join in on the fun, especially if they're just as bitter. Luckily, a pony created something that could effectively combat the cold as well as bring in ponies together, and some even say that it's even more effective than the Elements of Harmony themselves at helping ponies become friends with one another. Hot chocolate was this pony's creation. While many rejoiced when this was made, some, after sampling this wondrous drink, knew that something was missing, as heretical as it sounded. But what? Many tried different items; all with varying degrees of success. Many thought it was more chocolate, others, graham crackers. What many found out, though, was marshmallows. Ponies celebrated this fact by pouring tons of mini-marshmallows into their hot chocolate drinks, and all was well, with ponies celebrating with their mugs of hot chocolate and mini-marshmallows. However, a new controversial issue was coming up now, between three alicorns. "Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiia,I cannot find the marshmallows!" Currently, Luna, Celestia, and Nightmare Moon were awaiting for Chrysalis to come back from Ponyville, and they were waiting for her to arrive in the grand dining hall, in front of one of the massive fireplaces that kept the hall warm and toasty for most of the year. In order to warm themselves up further, Celestia had suggested the idea of consuming hot chocolate to increase the amount of warmth they currently had and to have something to drink, which was readily agreed by the other two alicorns. Hot chocolate was made quickly, and was being consumed by two of the alicorns, but the third, Luna, was complaining about something very, very important, as she could not consume her hot chocolate as the others did. "There has to be marshmallows around here somewhere! You just had to be greedy and take them all for yourselves!" Nightmare Moon and Celestia exchanged glances at each other, each assuming that the other alicorn would share their marshmallows with Luna. Since that didn't happen, they were now with one upset Luna, trying to find marshmallows around the dining hall. "Tia," Nightmare Moon began, watching as Luna patted-down a nearby maid for marshmallows, "I think Lulu is going a little too far with this, if she's personally patting down every pony, looking for 'marshmallow smugglers' that are stealing 'her' marshmallows. Quite frankly, it's disturbing." "Thank you for stating the obvious, Moonie." Nightmare Moon shot Celestia an annoyed look that went unnoticed as Celestia took a moment to drink from her cup of hot chocolate (which was loaded with two entire bags of mini-marshmallows) before continuing to speak. "I just wish Lulu would just drink her hot chocolate without marshmallows." "Whaaaaaaaaat?!" As if Luna was just waiting for those words to be heard, she suddenly popped up in front of Celestia, waving her hooves frantically. "Hot chocolate without marshmallows?! That's like...That's like Twilight without books!" Oh, Faust. I remember trying to separate Twilight from a book once... Shuddering from the memory of attempting to do such a thing, Celestia wondered if this was going to be nearly the same exact scenario with her sister, just with marshmallows as the thing of affection rather than a book of some kind. "What...I'm saying, Lulu, is that you don't need marshmallows in your hot chocolate." "Oh, but I do, but I do, Tia! The sweet warmth of the hot chocolate meshes perfectly with the marshmallow chewiness! It blends together so well that once you try it, you cannot go back! I cannot drink my hot chocolate until I receive some marshmallows!" Luna noticed a group of ponies walking into the dining hall to warm up from the bitter cold outside, and promptly dashed towards them, when Nightmare Moon suddenly lashed out with her magic, tripping Luna and then pulling the struggling alicorn back over to them. "Lulu, please, calm down, Chrys is bringing along more marshmallows with her." "Nnngh! Let go! Leggo, leggo, leggo! Marshmallows call to me! They want to be devoured and be in my warm tummy but they can't because they're being held hostage by evil ponies that want us both to suffer! Leggo! I need to save my captive friends from those evil ponies!" Unfortunately, that was when Chrysalis decided to show up, levitating up some hot chocolate mix and quite a few bags of marshmallows up in the air around her. "I'm here, and I got more hot chocolate and marshma-" "RAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" With a scream of rage that shocked everypony in the vicinity, Luna countered Nightmare Moon's spell with sheer, raw magical power, causing Nightmare Moon to drop Luna in sudden pain from the counter. Luna, in a blind fit of rage, tackled Chrysalis to the ground, and promptly stole the bags of marshmallows away from her while running off. All of this, in full view (especially in Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis' case) of three other alicorns and everypony that was using the dining hall to warm up. "...Is that the whole reason why I'm in a jail cell right now?" Luna asked, with a rather uncomfortable magic-inhibitor on her horn. A nod from her very annoyed sister told her as much. "Yes. You have embarrassed all of us, Moonie is hurting from your magical lash, and Chrys is now scared of you! What do you have to say for yourself?!" Silence reigned over Luna before she opened her mouth, stating her one desire at the moment. "...Can I have some hot chocolate and ma-" Promptly, Celestia thrust a mug, some hot chocolate mix, and a bag of marshmallows at her sister. "Yeah, yeah, I knew you were going to ask about them, sis. Anyway, I need to get back to the castle; Moonie wants to be tucked into bed tonight and Chrys needs therapy sessions and asked me to be there with her. Take care, Lulu! You won't be here long, so don't get too comfortable in the cell." Celestia, having said everything she needed to say, left her sister in the jail cell, who, despite the fact that she was now stuck in a jail cell alone, was finally happy that she got what she needed. She grabbed the items tenderly, and hugged them close to herself, before grinning. "Hoorah! I have hot chocolate and marshmallows! Now, I can begin my praise to such a divine treat!" It was then that something clicked, and she looked around her jail cell frantically. A whisper left Luna's mouth, one that confirmed the harsh, terrible truth. "...There's no hot water faucet in here..." A moment passed before Celestia giggled as she heard Luna's screams of anguish reach her. "That'll teach her to be so obsessive over such a little thing." Author's Note I was drinking hot chocolate at the time With marshmallows Luna would be proud of me and give me a medal Though that would be after she steals hot chocolate
It was a mean but funny prank, Tia!It was a mean but funny prank, Tia! Nightmare Night; the one night where ponies could dress up in their costumes, getting free candy and have a wonderful time with one another while not getting arrested by the guards for 'scaring the populace' for wearing scary costumes that sometimes realistically looked like monsters (in a few Nightmare Night events, actual monsters attended the festival sometimes! Thankfully, they were just there to have fun, too). Of course, like all things, there is more to it, and that includes pranks. It was a prime night for pranks, and Nightmare Moon (and company) was convinced that they were about to pull the ultimate prank on Fluttershy, who also happened to be the easiest one to prank, thanks to their intelligence network (which was stalking Fluttershy for a few hours each day, alternated between the conspirators, for the past two weeks). Fluttershy didn't celebrate Nightmare Night, and while indeed she was Fley Truths, even she would be at the very least surprised about what was coming to her; she didn't take very well to pranks. Raising a hoof, Nightmare Moon knocked on the door, awaiting for Fluttershy to open the door. Slowly, said door creaked open slightly, revealing Fluttershy looking out cautiously. "Erm...I-I don't celebrate Nightmare N-Night..." Sensing that Fluttershy would say something like this, Nightmare Moon merely smiled at the pegasus. "No worry, I have not come to ask you for candy! I have come to ask you for a place to reside in temporarily!" "Um. Okay." The door slid open, and Fluttershy stepped aside, allowing Nightmare Moon inside. "I guess you can stay and rest up for a bit, Moonie." "Thank you, Fluttershy." Nightmare Moon sat down on a rather comfy sofa, satisfied that she was able to gain entry into Fluttershy's domain. "It is rather exhausting out there, and the festival gets too loud for me to comfortably rest in any of your friend's homes! Rarity suggested that I rest in your home, where it is far from the celebration." "When you put it that way, it does make sense. "Fluttershy sat down next to Nightmare Moon, smiling slightly. "Do you need any refreshments?" With a slow shake of her head and a wave, Nightmare Moon refused. "No, I merely require my royal rump to rest!" "Okay. Well, I'll be-" The sound of knocking upon Fluttershy's door took both their attentions. "Erm. Excuse me, I'll get the door." Fluttershy got off the sofa, and slowly walked on over to her door, wondering who it could be. She cracked the door open slightly, just enough to whisper out. "Hello?" "Greetings, Fluttershy!" Confused upon hearing the voice, Fluttershy opened the door to see Nightmare Moon, smiling at her. "I've come to raid your supply of candy! Trick or treat!" "I...Uh...Didn't you...Already come inside?" "What are you talking about? I have just arrived here!" Fluttershy turned her head around, and sure enough, Nightmare Moon was still sitting there, at the sofa. Unsure of what was happening, she pulled her door open, and stepped aside. I-It can't truly be another Nightmare Moon. It's probably Twilight; I mean, she could probably use her magic to look like an alicorn! She had weird taste, though; I'd prefer if she changed into Cadence. Pink is better than black...No offense. It would also look better on her. Still, a very convicing costume! "Erm...I don't usually celebrate Nightmare Night, but...I do have some candy upstairs. Make yourself welcome, Nightmare Moon." Fluttershy slowly backed away from the second Nightmare Moon, before walking up her stairs a little quicker than anypony should be when going up a staircase. The second Nightmare Moon giggled, and walked over to the first Nightmare Moon, winking at her once Fluttershy had gone upstairs. "Flutters totally bought it." With a grin, the first Nightmare Moon winked back. "This idea was genius, Chrys!" "I know, right? And you have such a flattering figure; it goes well with this awesome armor you wear." Blushing slightly from the comment, Nightmare Moon turned her head away slightly, and looked up at the staircase. "Thanks, Chrys. I can't wait until Luna knocks! Oh, shh, shh, Flutters is coming down!" Just then, Fluttershy slowly walked down the stairs, with a small bag of candy that she kept for herself whenever she needed her sweet cravings sated, but she figured she could always buy more candy later. "I have some candy for you, err...Second Nightmare Moon. I-" Knocking was heard again at her door for the third time, interrupting her, and Fluttershy slowly turned her head around to the door, dreading what she might find on the other side. She did, however, give the second Nightmare Moon her candy, first, before she walked over to her door, opening it slowly,hoping it wasn't what she thought it was going to be. "H-Hello?" Fortunately, instead of a third Nightmare Moon, it was simply Princess Celestia, who had decided to go for a slightly more youthful look, keeping her mane pink and donning her golden armor (which, while scary to think about Celestia fitting into a suit of golden armor, was offset by the princess' friendly demeanor). "Hello, Fluttershy. I understand that you don't celebrate Nightmare Night, but I figured it wouldn't be too long of a shot to ask if you have any candy laid out for those that do make the trek to your home." "Oh...It's no trouble at all, Princess Celestia! I do have some candy, in fact." Fluttershy tried very hard not to look behind her, over at the two Nightmare Moon's sitting over at the sofa, and brought out her bag of candy, giving Celestia a few pieces of chocolate. "Happy N-Nightmare Night, Princess!" "Happy Nightmare Night, Fluttershy." Celestia smiled warmly at Fluttershy, then stepped aside. "C'mon, Lulu, don't be shy!" ...Uh oh. With wide eyes, Fluttershy watched as Luna stepped up in her view, looking just like Nightmare Moon. At this point, her brain couldn't comprehend the ability to think of the fact that there were indeed three Nightmare Moon's in close proximity with each other, and so, she promptly fainted on the floor. Concerned, Celestia barged into Fluttershy's home (just barely being able to fit through the door, no thanks to her armor and rump), and checked her condition. "She's still breathing...I think she got scared of you, Lulu. I told you dressing up as Nightmare Moon wasn't a good idea!" "Apparently not, because I see two more of me over there." Luna spoke lamely, pointing over at Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis. Celestia looked up at her sister, and then followed her hoof over to see the other two alicorns. I don't think I even need to ask what happened. Ugh, Chrys, Moony...You two certainly like to push the envelope! "The only thing I can ask is 'why'?" Chrysalis spoke up, in a very enthusiastic voice. "It was a mean but funny prank, Tia!" A new voice not belonging to either of the three piped up. "It was mean? It didn't seem like it!" The three alicorns turned around to see a fourth Nightmare Moon, who happened to be Pinkie Pie; one could easily tell because her hair was still wild and untamed. "Whoa! I seriously thought I was the only pony going as Nightmare Moon tonight, I didn't think you all would, too! Did I miss out on all the fun?!" "You? Miss out on the fun? That's new. I must add that to my calcul..." Twilight Sparkle's voice died as she saw that there were five Nightmare Moon's, counting herself. "Well." "Well." Celestia responded, taking a few moments to look at all of the gathered Nightmare Moons that she was surrounded by, then down at Fluttershy. "I know Fluttershy's going to be having nightmares." Author's Note That was a very mean prank Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle also joined in, to every pony's surprise I suffer from same-costume syndrome every year Happy Halloween (I understand it's tomorrow but I don't update on days that don't end on an even number!) Sacrifice a small candy or two (or your entire bag) to me, yes yes?
I feel something, Lulu!I feel something, Lulu! I sense danger may be near. Luna's prediction wasn't that far off or too surprising; after all, this was Canterlot, and she was an alicorn princess. It was practically assured that she would find trouble, or trouble would find her. I believe there is a set of universal rules that govern our world that specifically applies to alicorns and everpony near them, and it most likely follow as such; one will always hate bananas, one will always hate apples. Alicorns get all the cake, and as a penalty to that, alicorns also have the weirdest misfortunes ever, and the ponies they are close to also suffer from these misfortunes, though on a smaller scale. Currently, Luna was located within the dining room with Quackum and Blueblood, and all three were in the process of eating a very satisfying lunch. Unfortunately, that might change very soon, as Luna sensed that things may be taking a turn for the worse, which was a pity, as she didn't yet get to eat the wonderful roti tissue dessert that the chefs in the kitchen, for once, made on time for her lunch. It was sitting there, in equal distance to the duck, unicorn, and alicorn, and each had commented on such a fine looking dessert before starting on their main meals, looking forward to when the roti tissue would be eaten. Hopefully, the roti tissue would be spared for later consumption. "Bluey," Luna spoke, wanting to alert the unicorn in case he did not yet know, "I sense danger. Are you feeling it? Something is going to happen soon..." With a nod, Blueblood was now casually but very attentively looking around the dining room, sensing the same uncomfortable feeling of danger that Luna did. "I'm feeling something, alright. Should we attempt to defend ourselves?" With a shrug, Luna continued eating. "Can't really defend yourself when you don't know what the threat is, Bluey." A quack from Quackum seemed to agree with Luna, and Blueblood nodded slowly, agreeing with Luna's analysis of their current situation, though he did not like the fact that Luna was basically suggesting to just stay put. "Very well, then. I-" Blueblood's words were interrupted as a loud thud was heard as a pony with a rather comically over-sized duffel-bag filled with mail crashed down in front of them, causing all three present to recoil from the sudden, jarring impact of the pony hitting the table. Thankfully, the roti tissue was spared, and the pony didn't seem hurt from the impact, merely dazed. With a muted quack, Quackum walked up to Blueblood, and jump up, nesting on his head, though in reality, Quackum was preparing to use Blueblood as a shield to take the full force of whatever danger may be coming her way. Luna smiled at the sight of a slightly annoyed Blueblood with a worried looking duck on his head before inspecting the pony that had crash-landed on the table. It was a gray pegasus, with a dirty blonde mane and with bubbles as a cutie mark. The most striking feature about her, though, was her eyes; they never seemed to both point in the same direction, which made Luna feel concerned about the health of this pegasus. She got up from her chair, and moved up to pegasus' crash-site, checking over her to ensure that she didn't have a serious injury. "Pray tell, are you alright?" The pegasus looked over at Luna (causing the alicorn to cringe inwardly when she saw that her eyes still weren't straight), and nodded, giving her a salute. "I'm okay, mam! I'm Ditsy Do, working for the Peg-Ex, stationed in the Ponyville branch, ranked second lieutenant! We push the envelope everyday, all day, delivering letters and packages to those ponies that are expecting one! We only have a twenty-five percent casualty rate of lost and slash or misplaced mail, ten percent lower from our closest competitor, and most of our losses and misplacement of letters and packaging are caused by me! You won't find a better mail service anywhere else in Equestria!" "...I see." Luna looked over towards Blueblood, who shrugged, clearly as lost as she was. Some help you are, Luna thought in annoyance as she looked back down at Ditsy. "Well, Ditsy, what mail comes from Ponyville?" "It's from Pinkie Pie, classified as 'party'!" Ditsy reached into her bag and pulled out an extremely festive-looking letter, in pink, with stamped balloons on it and what Luna swore to be sprinkles on the outside, as if it were a cupcake. "She says it's an extra-special letter for you, and extremely vital that you take a look at the letter immediately!" Extra-special, eh? Luna took another look at the letter before placing a hoof on it, ready to tear the letter open, when Blueblood shook his head rapidly. "I feel something, Lulu! It feels like something terrible will happen if you open that letter. Don't do it!" Pfft. It's a letter. I sense no magic or harmful substances located within the letter itself, so, obviously, it must be safe. I'm confident that Peg-Ex screened the mail! "Fear not, Bluey, as an alicorn, I have the power to trump whatever is inside this letter! That, and it's not like you can put much dangerous stuff inside a letter." Without heeding his warning, Luna tore the letter open, unaware of what she just unleashed. "Surprise! Happy It's-Almost-Your-Birthday! Woo, it's hard, stuffing yourself in an envel-" While Luna was prepared for a great many things, she was not prepared for a pink pony to pop out from the envelope. So, she did the most rational thing that anypony would do in her situation; fling the envelope away. Unfortunately, she did not give much thought as to where she flung it. She watched as the envelope (plus one Pinkie Pie) sail into the air...And land on the roti tissue. "Wow! Your throwing hoof is a bit lacking, Princess Luna! I barely flew!" Pinkie Pie chirped as she climbed out of the envelope. Luna's attention was not on Pinkie Pie, who had somehow defied all known paths of logic when it came to mail, but on the delicious roti tissue dessert that she just ruined. She swore she felt her heart break upon seeing such a wonderfully crafted dessert in utter ruins. "Nooooo! The roti tissue! It's...It's ruuuuuuuuined!" Luna fell down onto the floor, crying and wailing. Confused, Pinkie Pie looked at where she landed, and saw that her landing site was in fact a now ruined roti tissue. Being a long-time goer at dessert conventions across Equestria, Pinkie Pie's eyes could not take in the dreadful sight. Immediately, she bounded off the table and began crying with Luna, joining a comrade who was also suffering from the same symptoms of dessert destruction. Instinctively, Luna hugged onto the pink party pony like a giant plushie. While the two were shedding tears over the ruined dessert, Blueblood stared at the two for a moment before turning his gaze over to Ditsy. "Lieutenant?" Ditsy saluted Blueblood, tilting her head slightly. "Yes, first lieutenant Blueblood?" Blueblood took a moment to clear his throat before tossing a small bag of bits at Ditsy. "Here's your tip." "Thank you, sir!" Author's Note Opening letters is dangerous Blueblood is feeling it, HE'S FEELING IT I'm saddened I had to sacrifice the roti tissue The mail system in Equestria is militarized
Explain this to me, Tia! (End of Colgate Arc)Explain this to me, Tia! I understand not why Tia has suddenly up and went crazy after her visit to Ponyvile. She keeps mentioning ponies under a 'contract', something that I do not understand, either. She still refuses to tell me why, saying that it should be a surprise. Why would I need to be surprised about ponies working under a contract? I mean, seriously, she obviously can't be referring to the 'contract' that was put in place countless years ago, I don't think any of those ponies even exist anymore! Upset that her sister hadn't told her a thing since her sudden visit to Ponyville, Luna was brooding in the council room, where her sister had promised her that she would have all the answers she needed there. So far, no answers were given, since her sister was five minutes late. You'd think my sister would be on time to tell me what the heck is going on recently. I- Before Luna could start a mental rant, the door opened, and Celestia entered the council room, followed by two unicorns. It's about time. Luna noted that her sister had two scrolls with her, and wondered what was printed on it, as well as to the reason why the two unicorns were here. As the group of three sat down, Luna spoke softly, awaiting her answers to her questions. "Tia, thank you for finally coming to sate my curiosity; it's about time you've given me some answers about whatever the heck is going on." Celestia nodded, giving her sister a slight smile. "I know, and I apologize for not telling you sooner, but I had to find a few other contracted ponies first; they're scattered around Equestria, and I have not found them all yet." She mentions this 'contract' again. Just tell me what it is, already! With a groan, Luna smacked the table she was sitting on with a hoof. "There you go again, spouting nonsense about this 'contract' without remembering that I know nothing about it! Please, at least give me a hint, so I can guess as to what you're talking about." One of the unicorns, a minty green, spoke up, causing Luna to recoil violently once she heard the unicorn's voice. "I'm sure it'll all come back to you eventually, Lulu." ...I'm hearing things. That can't possibly... Despite the fact that she thought she was suddenly hearing voices, Luna spoke up hesitantly. "...Heartstrings? Is that you?" The one and only, Lulu. It's great to be back. Shocked, Luna stared at Heartstrings, then at the other unicorn at Celestia's side. "If this is Heartstrings, then you must be..." Minuette. It's a pleasure to finally converse with you, Lulu, after all these years. With a bewildered look, Luna looked over at Celestia, and demanded to know what was going on. "Explain this to me, Tia! I cannot fathom how contracted ponies are still alive, a thousand years later!" Celestia laid out one of the scrolls onto the table, and Luna recognized it as the original contract that bound these ponies. "There appears to be a loop-hole within the contract that we created, Lulu. It appears that we did not account for the fact that we would become...'Separated'. Thus, I had no authority over these ponies since you were not there to challenge my orders, and you could not give them any." Minuette nodded, pointing to a section of the contract. "Due to the fact that you were banished, Lulu, this contract condition was activated. Since you were technically missing, we had to await your return, thus extending our life well beyond the date our contract should have ended." Luna looked over at the two unicorns with remorse, ashamed for what she had put them through. "I am sorry for causing this; I know that you were due for 'retirement' and had no wish to continue serving." A wide smile was given by Minuette, not scathing words, which surprised Luna. "No need to apologize, Lulu. I actually enjoy the work that we do, and I wouldn't want to change a single thing if I could." "However," Heartstrings spoke up, with a slight frown on her face, "I have to say that this contract is no longer suitable for present-day politics and life, so this contract must be rewritten, which is the purpose of this meeting. Sentimental feelings can wait until the contract is fixed." "I agree." Celestia pointed at the first rule of the contract. "I only need help with the five commandments; everything else, I can do on my own, so let's begin." All ponies signed under this contract must be a pony that has been on hard times, or is looking to prove that they want to turn their life around. This may include prisoners, the homeless, or any that wish for another chance at life. Partners are picked out by the princesses, and are determined by compatibility. A pony's natural lifespan is halted so that ponies do not age while under this contract, to ensure ponies are kept at the peak of their physical and mental health at the time of accepting the contract. "I remember when Tia came to me, a lowly thief caught and thrown into a cell, shouting that I'd do anything to redeem myself." Minuette murmured, clearly remembering when she was first approached by Celestia and offered something she couldn't refuse. Heartstrings nodded, allowing a small smile to grace her face as she remembered her own circumstances. "As I, Minuette, when she found me, in a little alleyway that I was calling home for a few weeks. I could not believe that she was offering me." "I remember you two very well." Celestia said with a smile, taking a moment to remember both ponies at their lowest. A brief moment of silence passed before Celestia spoke up again. " The problem, however, is the entire commandment. Well, everything other than the lifespan bit. Equestria has been known peace for far too long, and for once, that is beginning to cause a problem. There are hardly any crimes committed in Equestria anymore, homeless ponies are few and far in-between, not to mention that most are housed with their friends, and very few ponies want another chance at life, for whatever reason. The issue of needing to find two ponies that are compatible with each other just makes it worse." That is quite the problem, should we need to recruit more ponies underneath this contract, and I know that there can't be many of these ponies left. Luna brought up a very simple answer to the problem, but one she fully expected to get rejected. "Why not change it to volunteers, then? Surely there would be many ponies jumping at the chance to serve." "I am unsure if we want this contract going out to the public, Lulu." "How about," Heartstrings interjected, "Minuette and I, as well as the existing contracted ponies, search for suitable candidates on our own time? While recruits would trickle in very slowly, you can be sure that they'd be of exceptional quality, get along well with others, and you wouldn't have to devote your own time into searching the small pool of available ponies. Of course, compatibility may be an issue between ponies due to the slow recruitment speed, but that's unavoidable." Celestia look over at Luna, frowning slightly. "Should we, Lulu? Faust knows we're busy enough trying to hold the fort here, and this would remove an enormous responsibility away from us." "I think no reason to counter Heartstring's proposal with something else." With a nod, Celestia unrolled the second scroll, and began writing down a revised commandment onto it with magical ink, a rare commodity that was just as dangerous as it was rare, if handled improperly. "Then let us move onto the next rule. That requires some attention." Ponies under this contract do not talk about the contract. Celestia pointed back up at commandment one. "It contradicts revised commandment one." Luna nodded slowly. "Erase it, the commandment does not need to exist any longer." "Objections?" As Minuette and Heartstrings shook their heads, Celestia crossed out the second rule. "Very well. Next!" The duties of ponies under the contract include, but are not limited to, protecting Equestria, protecting the Elements of Harmony, and to protect the Princesses, in order of importance. Contracted ponies may break off their obligations to the princesses and the Elements if they feel they threaten the safety of Equestria. In the event that two or more conflicting orders are given, a contracted pony is given the freedom of choice to choose what order they will follow, or follow their own agenda, as long as it benefits Equestria as a whole. Shrugging, Luna sighed as her stomach grumbled. I knew I should have gotten something to eat first. I've always hated revising these things, even if I'm not the one writing the new commandments. "Doesn't really need to be changed." "I agree, Lulu. Next!" Contracted ponies have a mandatory hundred-year service, after which they are removed from service and allowed to live peacefully in 'retirement' for the rest of what would have been their natural life-span, unless there exists a problem that may cause their contract to extend well beyond the hundred-year service. They may choose to live with their partner if they wish, but they cannot speak of their time under the contract, and they do not retain the abilities blessed onto them by the princesses. Minuette sighed, and looked up at Celestia. "I understand removing the abilities of ponies and making them unable to speak of their time underneath the contract, but what of us few that want to continue serving? I don't want to 'retire', I want to continue working for Equestria. The same could also be said for the 'mandatory' service; some ponies I've talked to just didn't like this position of power they were in, and were eagerly awaiting for their 'retirement'." "Wait," Luna said, frowning slightly, "I am not sure why you wish to stay, Minuette, but even the royal guard changes its ponies around on a three-month basis, so why does the general idea not apply here?" "That," Heartstrings murmured softly, "is because the royal guard is comprised of a healthy pool of hopefuls from other branches of the Equestrian military, upon which it draws from the best of the best. We do not have such an ability to do so, and this contract under revised rule one will make it extremely difficult for us to gain any new ponies. Also, I doubt you and Tia wish to 'start from scratch', as the training for these ponies would consume too much of your time." "Hm...Very well then." Luna tried to dissuade her sister. "I don't like it, Tia. Are you sure you wish for ponies to have the ability to leave whenever they please?" "Above everything else, the contract is more or less made up by volunteers, Lulu. These volunteers, while trained in military exercises and the like, are not actually a part of our armed forces, and as such should not be treated as if they were. They should have the right to back out of the service if they so choose." "...Fair enough. What of the forced lengthening of the service of ponies in the event of a problem? I can't imagine all ponies will be accepting of having their service extended like Minuette and Heartstrings." The answer seemed fairly obvious to Minuette. "If you're going to sign underneath this contract, you had better read the fine-print, Lulu. I'd feel better if I knew my comrades wouldn't suddenly turn tail at the first sign of trouble, and there will be instances where forced service will occur." With a sigh, Luna admitted defeat on the matter. "Very well. Let us continue." Celestia nodded, and pointed at the last rule. Ponies will be trained by the princesses and will learn various skills and abilities, as well as, but not limited to, increased magical output, increased flight stamina, increased strength, increased endurance, various techniques to defend oneself, reconnaissance, mental resistance to probing of the mind, and the ability to blend into the background without getting noticed. Celestia immediately began rewriting the rule already, without consulting with the others. "In regards to rule five and because of the point brought up in rule four, I believe that it will be fair if I dictate most of the training to the current 'veterans', while Luna and I will personally teach the new recruits the more advanced techniques that you may have difficulty with." Minuette nodded slowly. "That sounds fair." "Well, then. We have finished revising the five...Well, now four commandments, and now I just have to sort through all this legal stuff, so you may leave, all of you." Taking up on her offer, Minuette and Luna promptly left the council room to catch up on old times with one another. Heartstrings, however, stayed, and looked down past the rest of the legal jargon that made up the old contract, smiling at the last sentence of the old contract. If you have accepted the rules above and understand the penalties of disobeying them without putting Equestria's well-being up first, congratulations, you are now a 'Background Pony'. Background ponies, ready to serve. Author's Note Not funny, more of a chapter explaining this 'contract' in the Colgate arc a little more Sorry if you wanted a dose of funny The reason why this section of the arc was delayed for awhile was because I wasn't exactly sure how Luna would come to terms with the fact that the 'background ponies' were still alive, so I just went with the most boring yet most believable circumstance while also giving a look into what rules these 'background ponies' are under Yay stupid headcanon
Sure, Lulu!Sure, Lulu! Ah...It's so nice that things appear to be normal, for once. After all, there's only so much crazy I can take, and it seems like the world has agreed with me. I'm glad, because I really, really don't want anything else happening to me, lest I break out into a rage over finding out I'm wrong, or find myself crying over some incredibly sad thing. In a rare moment given to her, Celestia found herself alone on her balcony just as day was turning to night, without any crazy stuff happening around her (though she suspected that it would not last long). This allowed her a moment to think about her current position in life (which she had not done in quite a long time). Things have changed quite a bit, and mostly for the better. I'm amazed at how much was done in the past few months...It's astonishing how I was able to put up with it all without breaking. Not only do I have my sister back, but I also have Chrys and Moonie, a changeling and deranged pony that wanted to bring eternal night working side-by-side with me through the sluggish politics and disasters that happen around Equestria. I would have never seen this coming, and even if I did, I'd have been unprepared in the manner that they came by into my life. A subtle movement caught her eye, and she observed a pony, working in the bitter cold, cleaning up after an especially wild party for Luna's birthday last night that still needed lots of attention. The mere sight of a pony toiling through a mess that she knew was most likely made by her caused her to cringe inwardly. How many messes did we make? Is there anything I would do differently, given the chance? Would things still work out between us four with these theoretical new changes? Celestia sighed, and immediately winced afterward as her exhaled air instantly froze, then dropped down upon the pony working underneath her balcony, impacting upon his head. Oops. Maybe I need to increase the temperature just slightly enough to avoid having that happen. With a brief flash of her horn, she increased Canterlot's temperature slightly, not enough to get rid of the cold, but just warm enough as to avoid having instantly frozen exhaled breath. Now where was I...Oh, yes, I was about to move onto Canterlot. The unyielding fortress of fun upon where much of Equestria's politics and merchants go to, creating a social hub that is utterly massive and contains so many new things for one to experience. It is also where much of our crazy antics have occurred, and I'm glad our ponies are able to forgive us for everything we've done, as I know we have made life hard for them on several occasions unintentionally. Do they look back on those moments, and laugh, or do they cry? Nothing was there to answer Celestia's questions, but she continued thinking, something that she always never had enough time for. I'd like to think that they were amused by whatever situation they were in. I have never been prouder of our ponies, living in harmony with the occasional joke here and there. I have done so many things for Equestria, and yet...Perhaps it's time to let it go. Perhaps, let it all go. Equestria needs to learn to take care of itself, without us guiding them...But, would I want it any other way, would they want it any other way? She paused in her rambling to lower the sun, to give way to Luna's moon. Once that task was done, she continued thinking, getting a little upset over her thoughts. I know not the answers to my own questions, and I doubt anypony out there has the answer for me, either. Is it alright if I have questions, if I can appear as any other pony, without the answers to everything? I doubt even you, mother, could truly give me an answer to my questions. I'm pretty sure the answers are right in front of you, you're just blind. The sudden voice intruding on her thoughts caused Celestia to recoil violently, and she swiftly turned her head around, trying to find the source (even though it was mental). "Can you NOT sneak up on me like that?!" She decided to ignore the remark that she was blind. "I'm sorry; the opportunity presented itself far too well, ha ha!" Heartstrings chuckled as she rappelled up onto the balcony with a flowing scarf attached around her neck, protecting her from the cold. She took a moment to stow away her climbing gear before standing next to Celestia's right side. "So, I'm guessing that you're thinking again?" Wow. She's good. "How did you kno-" Heartstrings clicked her tongue, and stated the obvious. "Background pony." With a mock groan, Celestia tore her gaze off from the unicorn to stare out towards the dying sun. "...I never should have given you the secondary ability to sense the feelings of others." "That would just make my ability to manipulate others that much harder. Why do you bother to think, anyway?" Celestia raised a brow at the unicorn beside her. "Why do I think? Why do you ask such a question, Heartstrings? It seems quite a silly question." "Not really. As a Background Pony, we don't think so much as we act. In fact, some of the most brilliantly executed tactics that you've seen us do are done on instinct, not because we thought the course of action through. It's quite refreshing from what you've told us to do." What?! Improvising on the spot...That's something we deliberately told the Background Ponies not to do! A worried Celestia poked Heartstrings' side gently, almost toppling the unicorn over. "Why would you attempt such action, then, without thinking about the consequences?!" Heartstrings just barely managed to prevent herself from being tipped over, and frowned slightly at Celestia's action before waving a hoof slowly at the landscape before them. "I know all of us Background Ponies look at the commandments differently and as such are affected by it in different ways, but the way I see it, I do whatever course of action I deem necessary because of the fact that serving Equestria is literally the first and foremost thing that I am to keep safe, and as such there are times where I must do questionable things in order to eventually reach that goal. If I stopped to think about every single thing I was about to do, I would have most likely attempted a much safer course of action that would also most likely take longer to accomplish and may not make Equestria that much safer than if I had simply taken action without thinking too much of the potential harm that may come to me or the other Background Ponies. "Consider this, Tia; we have gathered intelligence that there are a group of ponies that wish harm on the Elements of Harmony, however, we do not have definite proof of them actually going to do so, other than, say, a written threat. Now, there are a number of things that we could do, however, let us narrow down two possible routes to take; one, we can wait until the group actively pursues the Elements of Harmony, or two, we track the note and neutralize the threat immediately, preventing the problem entirely and reducing the amount of harm that could come to the Elements, and by extension, Equestria. To me, the second option is far safer for the Elements and it also ensures that we have the upper hoof, as we do not have to wait for them to make the first move before we act." That's not much of a choice to decide between. "Heartstrings, your tactical analysis is very unfair towards the first option." Heartstrings merely shrugged off Celestia's accusation. "Be as that may be, the second option requires far less thinking, and more doing, as well as being a far more realistic scenario then what you and Lulu have taught us in the past with your other scenarios. My point is this; you sometimes just need to stop thinking and start doing things, because thinking sometimes just isn't going to get you anywhere. You haven't stopped to think in awhile from what little I know, which is good, but you must continue that." "...Despite your long-winded analogy, I still don't see what it has to do with me thinking." With an exasperated sigh, Heartstrings gently punched Celestia's jaw, nothing more than a little tap with her left hoof. "Well, just think a little less. Ponies like Twilight Sparkle get into far more trouble then they need to be simply because they think too much." Your logic has a fatal flaw that I cannot help but point out. "I get into trouble even if I don't think. Remember the time Minuette accidentally set me on fire?" "That's your problem, not mine. By the way, Luna's coming by, so I should probably leave you alone with her." Heartstrings pulled out her climbing gear, and before Celestia could protest for her to stay a little longer, Heartstrings began rappelling down the balcony. True to her word, once Heartstrings was out of sight, somepony knocked at her door. Background Ponies...I wonder what I'd do without you. Slowly, Celestia made her way over to her door, opening it up for her sister. "Hi, Lulu." "Hey. Want to join the whole gang downstairs? We're playing Twister." Well...Heartstrings did say not to think too much, even though something bad is probably going to happen if I accept. "Sure, Lulu!" Author's Note A chapter that's actually somewhat normal?! This is ~~the end~~ only the beginning! I wrote this as kind of what probably goes through Celestia's mind as the months went on by, and I felt like she needed some character development I've reached the one-hundredth chapter, something I thought I knew I would never get as far to; I'd like to thank all of you for staying with me!
Meet Trixie, Tia!Meet Trixie, Tia! Today started off rather boring and normal (which probably should have gave Celestia much warning that something bad was going to happen soon), though that soon changed during Celestia's lunch hour. She was eating a very enjoyable lunch in the dining room, when a scroll appeared by her, with an automated female voice speaking out, alerting her to the sudden scroll received. "You got a letter!" Oh, a letter! The redundant thought came from Celestia, who smiled fondly at the sudden mail she received. Quickly, she grabbed hold of it before it could spill into her tomato soup, and tucked it neatly underneath her left wing to read later. At least that's something to look forward to, once I've finished up lunch here. Who knows what I've been sent? "Drop the scroll harder and faster than Octavia dropping her bass when she's drunk, Princess!" A voice called out, and Celestia turned her head around to see Ditzy Do and Blossomforth glaring at her, both of them senior members of Pegex and, of course, wanting to scan the scroll sent to her, as was their duty when concerned about all things related to mail sent throughout Equestria. Celestia, however, had no intention of having her private mail sent to her from her student of all ponies getting searched through, and she stuck her tongue out at the two pegasai. While such a thing was very rude to the ponies that it was aimed at, Celestia felt like it was an appropriate gesture in this situation. She didn't like having her mail read. "I think not! This is from my student; I'm sure there's no ill intent within the scroll! Besides, you can't make me." Celestia got up from her chair, and tried to walk away, when she was suddenly surrounded by twenty pegasai, all of them affiliated with Pegex. ...Why was it a good idea to militarize the mail system, again? And cross-trained with ninjas, of all pony combat experts?! I'm going to have a word with Bluey. "Be as that may be," Blossomforth said, circling around Celestia, "I, as well as every other pegasus in Pegex has been trained to view every letter, scroll, package and other forms of sent mail to be a potential threat to you and Equestria. This includes personal mail, as stated within our codex, and I am not going to be the reason that you suffered from a sudden magical trap because I failed to scan the letter for any signs of magical tampering. I ask kindly, again, to hoof over the letter, without any sudden movements." It was then that Celestia sneezed, quite loudly and suddenly. This was counted as a sudden movement, and immediately, Celestia found herself drowning in a sea of pegasai determined to grab at the letter from her. One very satisfying (if suddenly turned hectic) lunch later, Celestia was somewhat contentedly (after all, one could not be truly content after being tickle-tortured by pegasai and then having your private mail searched for threats) laying down on her bed, having, for once, actually finish all her paperwork without dumping it on her sister, Chrys, or Moonie (which was an amazing feat in itself). Now, she was eager to read the letter that Twilight had sent her; it was a fairly large scroll, as well, so it promised to be a rather large friendship report. Or, a lot of charts and a bunch of rambling about some new discovery that Twilight made; while Celestia enjoyed responding to Twilight's latter letters, she always had to add 'please, send discoveries to the scientists of Canterlot' at the end of her reply. After all, she didn't really want to read a few hours worth about a new discovery that her student made; that was for the scientists to discuss, and she really didn't want to be weighed down with more work, trying to figure out what her student sent her and what she could possibly say that made her sound intelligent. Let's see what I got in store for me this time... Dear Princess Celestia, I've made a new friend recently! Well, I think. You see, she's...Still a bit hostile towards me. That's okay, though! We're all trying our best to make sure she fits right in Ponyville, even if she caused a few problems for us. Meet Trixie, Tia! A showmare with a talent for doing lots of unbelievable tricks! She came by one day, asking if she could borrow my phone to make a call, so, of course, I let her in and let her use the phone! We talked for a bit after she made her call, and it turns out we have quite a few things in common! We both enjoy reading books, writing is the devil (thank goodness I have Spike to write for me!), we both love the Warrior cat series, and like our tea with two sugar-cubes and cinnamon! Ponyville has had trouble with Trixie in the past, but we've dealt with whatever trouble came our way quickly. Apparently, she has a rivalry with me! I suppose that isn't too hard to believe; I did show her up a few times, and generally, unicorns do get sensitive when comparing magical power with one another, but it's still a bit hard to think that somepony considers me as their rival. I swear, I don't mean to one-up you in any way, shape or form! She understands my concern, though; she calmed me down by saying she only had a friendly rivalry with me (after the incident with the alicorn amulet), so that's good. I'm not exactly sure how to describe her personality; she takes some of the best and worst qualities of my friends all together, and then some. She's...Err, as rude and out-going as Rainbow Dash, has a keen eye for detail like Rarity when it comes to her work, has the same determination in working hard just like Applejack to improve her magic, gets excited and bouncy like Pinkie Pie over pocky (based on one of the letters you've told me warning me away from Canterlot and saying why, I'm sure Trixie will get along with Moonie and Lulu!), and has an extremely shy side like Fluttershy! As for some of her personal quirks, she seems to speak in third-pony (though, only in public; in private company among friends, she speaks just like any other pony). I'm not exactly sure what to make of her; she's a lot different from any pony I've met. Trixie doesn't have a place to stay at in Ponyville, so I, naturally, offered to let her sleep in the library! In hindsight, though, it probably wasn't a very logical idea. Unfortunately, there's no guest bedrooms (I live in a tree meant for one librarian, one!), so we have to share the bed together. It's pretty awkward! Especially when Trixie suddenly hugged me like a teddy bear. I thought I was going to die from lack of air, but thankfully, that didn't happen! Sheesh, who knew she was going to be so clingy. Oh, and, as I'm having Spike write this letter for me (who is currently gagging at the thought of Trixie hugging me like a teddy bear), Trixie came up and asked who I was sending a letter to. Upon mentioning that it was to you, she had a rather curious look on her face, and then asked if she could make a response to you, once I was done having Spike write whatever it was for me. She also asked that I leave for awhile, as she wanted to relay something private to you. I'm bemused by whatever she intends to say, but I'm sure it doesn't concern me if she's asking me to leave her alone with Spike. I'm not sure what else I can have Spike write for me, so I suppose after the line-break underneath this paragraph, it'll be Trixie speaking, and not me. P.S: I need more assignments! Hello, Princess Celestia. I...I'm not sure about any proper way of making this seem like an informal letter to you, but Twilight did mention once that you liked things informal and being referred to as 'Tia' instead of your full title of 'Princess Celestia the first and only solar alicorn of Equestria that has an insatiable appetite for slurpees and other sugary goodness so Faust help you if you dare get in the way', so I'll do just that. I'm...Trixie Lulamoon. I'm not a special pony like Twilight or you, but I'd like to think I was somewhat important, even though I'm just a travelling showmare. Looking up at what Twilight has written, she has more or less described me by comparing my traits to the rest of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, so I suppose I'll skip on describing myself, because that would just be terribly redundant and waste space on the scroll (which has very little room left for Spike to write on). I also see that she mentioned that she was leaving because I asked her to. There's...A reason for that, and I sincerely hope Spike here can keep a secret from who is effectively his mother. I know that I told Twilight that our rivalry (which was also mentioned; geez, I want to explain some things too, you know!) was friendly, but it's also much, much more than that. Ew! Spike just thought I was going to say that I love your student because of our rivalry! He must have been reading too many mushy, cliche, trashy romance stories. I swear, that genre of books needs to be banned. What, was I going to ask for advice for you on how to deal with Twilight next? Anyway, no, I do not have a romantic interest in your student. I do, however, have another interest in her, and it, of course, relates to that friendly rivalry mentioned earlier. Every time we interact with each other, we try to one-up each other with little, creative magical tricks (Spike considers it flirting...), not with the intent to embarrass the other, but more of a way to surprise the other with what we can do. Your student can do many things, Tia! She is, however, lacking in creativity; I'm sure you've noticed this in your student at some point, but if not, I'll be blunt. She is terribly unimaginative in how she applies her magic; there's no flair, no sparkles (please don't smite me for making an unintentional pun out of your student's name), and just does everything she can to make an extremely professional show of magic that lacks in style and flair. I was thinking...Do you think you could send her a project that requires the magical prowess of two ponies, and requires for practical magical application as well as creativity? I realize that it sounds like I'm one of your students asking for an extra-credit assignment...As much as I wish that I was one of your students, I know that's probably well out of my magical power. I just want Twilight to realize that she could do so many amazing things with her magic by putting in just a little more creativity in her spells, because right now she has absolutely little regard to the more creative side of magic. Personally, I wonder if Rarity has ever tried to convince her to be more expressive with her magic, but if she has, I don't think it worked for Twilight. I understand that this must be a very odd request, and that you're under no obligation to send Twilight sometime 'creative' to do, but I think it would do wonders for her. Just a thought from a friend of hers (wow, it' certainly been a short but eventful journey, from becoming a rivalry that totally, utterly hates her to a rivalry that's mostly just friendly ribbing at one another). Sincerely, Trixie Lulamoon and Twilight Sparkle (and a tired Spike) P.S: Spike, here. I don't really have much to say about what Trixie said since most of it is true, but I really do have to be blunt about one thing. You really should have encouraged Twilight to write on her own; I was right in the middle of playing a video game with the Cutie Mark Crusaders when she asked me to take a letter, and then Trixie jumped in with something she had to say, too! It's...Kind of sad, to realize that one of the most powerful unicorns (if not the most powerful unicorn in Equestria right now) can't write to save her life. P.S.S: Again, this is Spike. As an afterthought, do the Pegex check these letters? Just wondering, because Twilight is beginning to work on magic runes, and her results so far have been...Explosive. I'm worried Twilight will send you a few of these runes one day and some pegasus from Pegex will get hurt from them, causing Pegex to declare an Equestria-wide ponyhunt on Twilight and me. A thoughtful Celestia set down the scroll beside her, thinking heavily upon Trixie Lulamoon's words. A very interesting letter I have gotten, indeed! Now that I think about it, Twilight Sparkle has never been extremely creative with her work. Or good at writing, but I think that's another matter that requires proper care at a later date, and so is Pegex. Anyway, all of her projects sent back to me have very little in the personal touches that I've come to recognize from my students over the years, and I dare think that she doesn't have any, aside from her frantic insanity that occurs when she believes that she's tardy, which I would not exactly count as a 'nice touch'. I suppose it's certainly better than the coffee stains that Starswirl always had on his reports, but not by much, if at all, actually. I have to say, you are a very observant unicorn, Trixie... Smiling slightly, she knew just what to do. The answer is quite obvious; I'll have Twilight assist Rarity and Trixie with their work! I'm sure she'll learn the art of creativity from those two, who make their entire living off of it. Who knows? Maybe it'll be a huge success. Reaching over for a quill, Celestia began writing a return letter to Twilight Sparkle and Trixie Lulamoon, jotting down the details of a rather specific assignment for the three unicorns to work together on. Who knows, they might just impress her with something completely unexpected. Author's Note In all these chapters I still haven't made a chapter that's based around Twilight sending Celestia a letter I'm not entirely sure what the point of all this was Militarized mail, go No Twilight x Trixie here ~~But there will be Twilight x Trixie x Rarity~~ Possible foreshadowing of another chapter?!
Let's break it, Lulu!Let's break it, Lulu! It's quiet. It's barren. It's where I was once locked up inside of, for eight-hundred years. It's the moon. Luna looked around the landscape, though there was nothing to see that would have interested a pony (unless they held a profession that was related to rocks, and even then, they would not enjoy the landscape very much because they would be struggling to breathe in an airless environment). Yet, for it being void of life and any material other than dirt, rock, and the few ice crystals given by comets passing by, this was where Luna made her home, once she broke free of Celestia's bonds. I wonder what would have happened if I had simply gone down and confronted my sister the moment I broke free from the bonds holding me inside the moon. Contrary to what everypony believed about what happened, Luna was not held within her moon for the exact one-thousand years her sister sentenced her to; magical bonds weaken over time if they are not renewed, and she was an immensely powerful alicorn, so very few bonds could be made to hold her for any length of time, no matter the source of the magic even if it was boosted by the Elements of Harmony. Even so, Luna was weak, so very weak; to attack Celestia directly after freeing herself was just suicidal, and she needed to train herself to become stronger than her sister, who, despite not having thrown a single attack at her sister, was so much stronger than her, which Luna had only realized when she was first imprisoned in the moon. It said much about Celestia, who could have an entire mountain drop upon her, and only feel a little winded after such an impact. There was nothing to do on the moon, as it was devoid of, well, everything. Having nothing else to do to occupy her time, she figured that if her sister bested her in combat once she returned, she could retreat to the moon and hide under a shelter of some sorts until she regained her strength to challenge her again. Luna did just that, and it took only a week to dig out a small bunker which was carefully well hidden. Luna was satisfied with that little bunker. For two days. Luna thought such a small bunker could be located by her sister's ever-sharp eyes and bombarded with her sister's exploding lances of light (or some other spell to force her out from that bunker), so in order to counter such an attack, Luna set off on making more bunkers, as a way to distract her sister for a few more seconds. Again, once finished, she was satisfied for a little while. Eventually, however, Luna got the feeling that it still wasn't enough. Constantly, Luna thought more about what her sister could do, the possibilities that she had, the magic that could rain down upon her fortifications. Countless years went by as Luna toiled on the moon's surface, gathering what few materials she had to improve her defense system for one as best she could. The passage of time blurred as building materials were shaped, placed, and reinforced with magic, safe areas to hide in were carefully hidden, an underground tunnel system was made, connecting between bunker to bunker, and even an arena to face off against her sister in, in the case that she could no longer run and had to fight to the bitter end. Once she felt she was satisfied with her work, she took to the skies to observe her work, and she was shocked by what she made. With a slight smile, Luna walked up into the palace she made, one that she thought could rival the castle she was currently living in, if the moon could support life. As it could not, she knew it was forced to take second place, but surely her work of art could be considered very grand, if also very old in terms of design; being forced away from civilization, she had to use old building techniques and designs that weren't exactly the best, and upon returning to her palace, she knew that there was a lot she could have done better. Still, this was her masterpiece; a shame that it's intended purpose was merely as a shelter against magic, because it could have looked so much better. Reaching out, Luna placed a hoof upon a wall of her palace, feeling the cold, hard rock and dust that made up the wall. Suddenly, she spoke; she had always felt better when admitting things out loud. She wasn't sure why, but it just made things easier for her. "There's...Nothing, just rocks and dust. That's all I used, with some ice crystals scattered around. Regardless, that's what I used to make you from day one. From simple bunker to gigantic palace, every little thing I made was from dust and rock. Would you look much better if I had more resources? Would you still be the large, cold palace upon which I looked down upon Equestria with disdain and hatred?" Despite having been all she knew for years until her return, even she could not answer the questions that she asked, and the wall wasn't going to speak its mind anytime soon. Looking around the area, Luna spread her hooves out wide, with a slight smile on her face. "Even though I have only intended you as a shelter against magical bombardment, you were home. You became what I temporarily lost, and for that, I thank you. I've spent years, thinking, training, and most of all, longing to return home. I have not given you the kind treatment that I should have, often punching through walls and causing half my fortifications to crumble from my rage, after which I would then panic and then re-do all the fortifications, making them stronger so that they would not so easily break next time. None of that concern was on making it look a pretty, appealing place to live in. Perhaps if I tried...I would have calmed down, and realized just how folly my actions were." Pausing in her monologue, Luna walked out of the current room she was in to enter her own throne room (which was incredibly bland in appearance), and frowned slightly at the sight of her throne. "Many hours I've spent, sitting on that throne, plotting my revenge and expressing my desire to take over Equestria to myself that I lost sight of what was truly important to me. I thought of destruction and violence, submission from my sister and total power over Equestria. I did not remember that first and foremost, I was plotting revenge on my sister. My sister. To think that I was once so eager to fight her, to best her over a stupid throne that we both shared anyway is...So barbaric. I only hope that Tia can forgive me for what I've attempted to do." The short silence that came after Luna's words was shattered by slow clapping, coming from behind her. Nothing approaches me in my domain without my consent! Whirling around, Luna prepared to take down the intruder that dared approach her, only to lower the haymaker she was about to throw once she saw that the intruder was none other than Nightmare Moon, who smiled slightly. ...Unless it's with the entity that I shared a body with, once upon a time. Luna stared blankly at Nightmare Moon, who returned the gaze back with a slight smile. One of the stares from the alicorns was filled with conflicting ideas of what to do with the other, who she had shared a body and a palace together, and the other was simply regarding her counterpart with a level gaze, as if daring her to speak. Luna was the first to break off the stare, and sighed as she looked around the throne room, trying to avoid meeting Nightmare Moon's eyes. "Why are you here, Moonie?" "I lived here too, once upon a time, you know. I have as much right to be here as you do, Lulu." Such an answer does not answer my question. Ugh...I swear, you're worse than Tia, and she dodges so many questions. With a groan, Luna frowned flatly, trying to convey the idea that she was extremely displeased to the other lunar alicorn. "You know what I mean, Moonie. How long were you listening to my monologue?" Thankfully, if one thing could be said about Nightmare Moon, it was that she was very truthful if asked very bluntly. "I've been here long before you came by, and so I have been listening in on you, as you grabbed at my curiosity very quickly, having not visited the moon ever since I was purged from you; forgive me if it troubles you." With a grunt, Luna shook her head. "It's...Fine, I guess." With slow steps, she walked up to the throne, followed closely by Nightmare Moon. Hesitantly, Luna added, "I...Have to say, your presence somewhat comforts me here, and...I do need advice." "On how to simply let go of all those memories you've had here?" Nightmare Moon was also very quick to guess at what was troubling a pony. Unfortunately she was also very correct, most of the time. Luna grimaced as she sat down in front of the throne, and nodded once. "Yes. Though, of course, I can't completely let go of all these memories...That would require a thorough purge of my memories, and even then, I doubt I'd be able to fully forget everything that's happened here. No; I just want to...bury some of these memories behind, to give myself a sense of peace. This place haunts me sometimes...It's like a pyramid, standing tall even after all the years pass by, serving as a reminder of the time period they were built in, and built for a specific purpose. This palace is like this pyramids, only...There is no purpose to this palace, the reminder it gives hurts me deeply, and it has not suffered from erosion like the pyramids have, so it still stands tall after all these years, a sharp reminder of who I once was." "...Ever thought about writing poetry?" The look given by Luna told Nightmare Moon that she was close to getting her rump booted off the moon, which would hurt, and Nightmare Moon didn't like hurt. She also wanted her dignity intact. "Okay, I'm sorry! ...Mostly. Anyway, what is it exactly that hurts the most for you, Lulu? I think I can guess based on your monologue, but humor me." What...Hurts the most? Many things hurt for me on the moon, but...If I had to chose something... Luna looked up at the throne, and a rush of nostalgia came back to her as she remembered all the time she spent sitting on the throne. "The throne, no question about it, Moonie. There's nothing more that hurts more than this throne I've sat on, plotting day in, day out, never realizing how blind I was." I guessed as much. I just hope she likes the solution that I know is almost absolutely foul-proof and is sure to guarantee instant relief for Lulu. Probably. I've been wrong before. "I see. It also holds a lot of pain for me, and so...Let's break it, Lulu!" Break...It? The throne...? The very violent and sudden thought appealed to Luna very much, and Nightmare Moon did not have to wait long before Luna sat up, and smiled at her. "I think I'd like that, Moonie. Can I...Say something first, though, before we crush it? I mean, even though it only really has bad memories, I can't help but think I'm losing a large part of myself by doing this." With a slight nod, Nightmare Moon stepped back, giving her counterpart some room. "Go ahead, Lulu; I've said my goodbyes more than enough on my past few visits, so I have nothing more that I could possibly say." I must remember to ask you about your visits...You've interested me in whatever you might have said. Filing away Nightmare Moon's visits away carefully, Luna took a good, hard look at her throne, before whispering five words. "So long, this is goodbye..." Author's Note Moon palace! Luna and Nightmare Moon are quite the builders Luna and Nightmare Moon bonding Except it's not because they're breaking glorified chairs made of rock
You got incoming, Tia! (Cupcake assault on the castle Arc)You got incoming, Tia! (Cupcake assault on the castle Arc) Heartstrings, do you believe in love at first sight? I have a brick in my purse if anypony tries to make a 'move' on me. ...I'll take that as a no, then. Minuette and Heartstrings were currently disguised as normal, everyday unicorns (which was a far harder thing to perform than it actually was; you had to order the typical Canterlot food ordered by unicorns, have the 'normal' Canterlot attitude that many ponies disliked, and eat in the Canterlot way, which was daintily and with comments about how expensive the meal was) having lunch together, with one of Vinyl Scratch's softer tunes playing in the background. They were simply on a routine stealth patrol through the city, and nothing exciting had happened so far on the patrol. Nothing excited had really happened at all, in fact, once the contract was renewed for the modern day Equestria. Of course, that was somewhat expected; after all, Equestria was not the safe place it currently is, a thousand years ago, and it was far better that nothing happened. However, they had expected a something to do, at least a bar fight, or perhaps a thief trying their luck! Alas, they had nothing to test their skills as Background Ponies. Minuette sipped at her drink, feeling despair well up inside of her. Equestria is boring now. Nothing exciting happens! It's always the Elements of Harmony that solves everything, which makes our job so boooooooooring! Yep. I'm beginning to think that we might not be needed anymore. So...Wait. I see some suspicious activity going on right now. Out of the corner of her left eye, Heartstrings saw a rather peculiar sight, one that she hoped meant that something exciting was going to happen. Look, over there; there's a pony, dressed in black, most likely a unicorn from the hat they're wearing, as there seems to be a slight protrusion that suggests a horn. I am unable to currently confirm if they are stallion or mare from this distance, though if I had to hazard a guess I would most likely say that the pony is a stallion, with that large body build. Minuette looked around for the pony that Heartstrings described, though she quickly saw that it was a lost cause to even try and begin searching for this pony. She turned her head around to stare at her partner flatly. The only problem I see with your analysis is the fact that black clothing covering the entire body seems to be the latest fashion trend, Heartstrings, so I am unable to locate this pony. Urgh, it's so...Painful to see ponies trying to make themselves stand out with black of all colours of the rainbow. Heck, it isn't even a colour! With a groan, Heartstrings slapped Minuette across the face (causing her partner to wince from the sudden pain and cause a few ponies to raise a few brows at them), and pointed over towards Canterlot square. The one standing on the soapbox, you twit. Sensing that they were being watched, Heartstrings made up an excuse on the spot. "You, dear, have absolutely no taste for the finer food in Canterlot! Don't lie, I can see you don't find satisfaction in that absolutely gorgeous salad!" Thankfully, the ponies were interested in the little slap that occurred rolled their eyes and went back to their own meal, deeming the action as 'high class ponies acting dumb'. Was that really necessary? I can't argue with the fact that I actually don't enjoy the salad, though; seriously, this thing is disgusting. With a sigh, Minuette stared out towards the pony Heartstrings described, and sure enough, there was a pony dressed exactly as Heartstrings described on a soapbox, who seemed to be gathering a crowd around him, with most of them similarly dressed up like the pony on the soapbox, with black clothing covering up the majority of their body. Yes, yes it was necessary because you can't look with that pathetic excuse you call eyesight. It's also not like I have much to work with, other than the fact that you really do don't seem to like the overpriced salad that I TOLD you not to buy since we both knew it was going to be expensive, plastic-tasting garbage. Any insult in retaliation to Heartstrings was held back as the pony on the soapbox began speaking out. "Brothers, sisters, gather around, for I have prepared a short speech!" That voice...It's that same stallion from last week, isn't it, that came up on a soapbox and began preaching something about the moon? Suddenly disinterested in whatever the stallion had to say, Minuette nodded. Most likely, unfortunately. "We are gathered here today to witness the beginning of what will be a glorious revolution that will change Equestria forever! We are going to take down the tyrant that dare calls herself a princess! For too long, the sun tyrant has ruled over Equestria, and has changed society to fit her own needs when her sister was shoved out of the way! Day in, day out, for countless years, we have been forced to toil endlessly without rest for the sun tyrant's own vision of what she thought was necessary for Equestria! So much of our economy goes to funding projects that are of no use, such as her cake bunker! Who needs a bunker for cake?! I don't, and I intend to change that today, with your help! Many of you have looked forward to the time where you could sleep underneath the cold, beautiful moon, to the time where we can relax and rest our tired bodies before needing to return to work in the terrible, blistering sun for a tyrant that cares not for her subjects! Well, no more, I say! No more to having to work underneath such terrible conditions in the accursed daylight! With the return of our lunar matriarch, that gives us all the reason to begin our take over of Canterlot and to show all who doubt us who the rightful ruler of Equestria truly is!" The stallion's words were drowned out by a mass cheering, which gave Heartstrings and Minuette some time to relay thoughts to each other. Ugh. He really needs to get off his soapbox, and I mean that literally and figuratively. I'm not interested in him spewing the same hay he's been spouting off for the past few days. I mean, he could take a night-shift or something, instead of...Spouting out nonsense that ponies are unfortunately believing. Whatever happened to common sense? Heartstrings turned back over to her food, munching on some pasta she had ordered, before she realized that there might be an event connected to this speech. Wait. I'm a bit worried...Wasn't there a mob that stormed Fancy Pants' mansion to 'secure funds' for a 'war machine' or something like that just three days ago, with ponies all dressed in black, screaming badly-written poetry about Lulu as their battle-cry? Yes, however, apparently Fleur routed the entire mob that advanced upon the mansion with nothing more than a spatula and a battle-cry, while Fancy Pants was right beside her the entire time, brandishing a mop at would-be aggressors who dared approach them with amazing skill. They did say, though, that some of their funds have been taken, though not a large amount by any means. I have to say, I'm not sure what I'm more amazed by, the fact that two unicorns were able to successfully fend off a large mob with nothing more than a spatula, a mop and some magic, or the fact that this stallion and his accomplices are still not in jail, as both are quite the accomplishment. You think Fancy Pants and Fleur would make good Background Ponies? Heartstrings set aside the ponies in black in the back of her mind, and mulled over the idea of Fancy Pants' and Fleur becoming background ponies like themselves; for once, she didn't know what would be an appropriate answer for these ponies in question, as they presented an interesting circumstance. ...I'm not entirely sure if I should make the call here, Minuette. The old contract forbade the princesses to recruit married couples as there was a chance that they might feel more compelled to save their partner's life over the greater duty of protecting Equestria. Of course, I'm unsure if the new contract has that same little rule inside of it, but until I look over it, we should not attempt to offer them the invitation. This time, it was Minuette who smacked Heartstrings, with an irritated look on her face, which also ended up gathering a little bit of attention. You're dumb, Heartstrings, and you should feel dumb for saying that because you obviously haven't done your research on potential ponies. They're brother and sister, Heartstrings, not a married couple. "You tell me that I do not find my satisfaction in this salad, yet I see you not paying very much attention to your pasta yourself!" Minuette heard murmurs of 'typical unicorns' and 'fussy eaters', and sighed inwardly, glad that attention was once again off of them. While it was a bit sad to know that she had to act like this, Minuette knew that she had to act like the 'typical' unicorns in order to blend in easier. A sheepish-looking Heartstrings rubbed her muzzle softly, wondering how she could have confused the two as being a couple. Really? Hmph, well, that's...Embarrassing for me, to see that I confused them for being married. Though, not as much as your excuse, because I actually happen to LIKE my pasta. With a sigh, Minuette picked up a breadstick, slathering some seasoning salt over the breadstick before munching on it. Don't flatter me too much, I might think you're actually hitting on me instead. I...Oh, look, the crowd is quietening down again and the stallion looks like he's getting ready to speak again. "Brothers, sisters! Today, we march for the castle!" The stallion held up a cupcake, and to Heartstrings' and Minuette's surprise, the mob all held up some kind of baked confectionery, and even some ponies on the sidelines that weren't dressed in black held up a sort of baked good. They then began marching up the road to the castle in a surprisingly well-trained manner, and began singing badly-written poetry, about three-thousand ponies strong in force. Minuette plugged her ears up with her hooves, unable to listen to such terrible noise. I really hate poetry. Anyway, I think Celestia is about to have a very bad day very soon if we don't warn her, her sister, and the royal guard about the mob that's about to try and perform a repeat of the events that happened a thousand years ago, just with a smaller number of ponies and with baked goods rather than weapons. "Do you not think that ponies could not sing much worse?" With a nod, Heartstrings reached over for a napkin, and daintily wiped at her mouth, looking over at he crowd with disdain. "Indeed; they must be poor since they seem to have had no singing lessons! Such dreadful noise!" ...Ignoring the fact that you think I'm hitting on you, no kidding, I'm pretty sure nopony wants to deal with an angry mob right after lunch, even if they're an all-powerful alicorn that could wipe the floor with them, literally. I'll start an automated message to all Background ponies in the area; you go ahead get a head-start on giving out a warning on what's going to happen to everypony in the castle, so we have more time to prepare our defenses. Roger, roger. Be safe, Heartstrings, I won't be here to bail you out if you get into trouble, as usual. I'm setting the time for fifty-nine minutes, as I normally do, but I'm expecting you to be at the castle in thirty, in case something goes horribly wrong in the past and I need to bail out quickly. Minuette quickly looked around to ensure that nopony was watching, then disappeared in a muted flash, leaving in her place a small, antique clock that was fifty-nine minutes behind the current time, complete with a necklace that suggested that it could be wrapped around a pony's neck. Reaching over, Heartsrings picked up the antique clock, and attached the clock around her neck, which, in reality, was Minuette's anchor to the present; once she had finished travelling fifty-nine minutes in the past or felt like she could return safely to the present, the clock would light up, telling Heartstrings that she had roughly twenty seconds to throw the clock on the floor and watch as Minuette popped back into the present. Failure to do so in time caused Minuette to 'spawn' back into the present directly a foot above her...Which disoriented both unicorns as they would soon be in a tangled heap with one another. I wonder what travelling through time is like; it's a pretty interesting power, all things considered, and it seems like it would be extremely useful, indeed, with the power to sway ponies into other decisions that they normally would have never thought of. Heartstrings took a moment to muse over the possibilities before sighing. Eh, seems dumb and too complicated, with its limitations and all. If only it didn't have them, it would be quite an amazing power! I suppose those limitations are there to prevent Minuette from doing too much harm, though. Anyway, time to start on sending out that message. Heartstrings left the cafe in a relaxed manner, though her mind was anything but relaxed, as she sent out a mental alert to all Background Ponies in the area that would repeat itself. Attention, all Background Ponies located in the Canterlot area or in a nearby sector, we are about to come under attack, I repeat, we are about to come under attack! A mob roughly three-thousand strong is armed with cupcakes and other baked goods. Yes, I said baked goods. That's not the point, however! They will easily overwhelm the royal guard in sheer numbers if we don't stop them, as most of the royal guard is stationed in the Crystal Empire to help stabilize the peace. Our rendezvous point will be in the Grand Hall, where we will discuss potential strategies for dealing with this mob. This message will repeat in five seconds. Having sent out the automated message that would quickly bring together any Background Ponies rushing to their aid, Heartstrings began making her way to the castle as quickly as she could without bringing any attention to herself. You got incoming, Tia! I just hope that we can stomp this senseless rebellion quickly before anypony gets hurt... Author's Note Say hi to another arc This is my take on poking a little fun at the whole 'Lunar Republic' and 'Solar Empire' thing, just like how I poked fun at shipping The Background Ponies will save the day! Maybe! Happy Thanksgiving
It's nothing to worry about, Lulu!It's nothing to worry about, Lulu! I'm worried; it's not like Lulu to up and disappear suddenly. She did mention that she was going to go out, but it's been an entire day since she left! Surely she doesn't need that much time away from the castle, even if it's inhabited by crazy alicorns like ourselves. As Celestia was thinking about whatever plight may have befallen her sister, over to her right, Cloud Kicker was munching on a bowl of popcorn, while Sassaflash on her left was playing Ponymon X, both of them clearly not worrying about whatever might have happened to Luna, Minuette, and Heartstrings, the latter two having accompanied Luna on what was supposed to be a short trip to a nearby mall to obtain a slurpee. A movie was playing in front of her, though Celestia didn't pay any attention to it, as focused on worrying about her sister as she was. The complete lack of anypony else worrying other than her baffled Celestia, who was fretting over whatever might have happened to her sister and the Background Ponies. Unable to bear it any longer, Celestia spoke up. "Erm...Should we try to find Luna, Heartstrings and Minuette? They've been gone for an entire day, and I'm getting a little worried about them." The answer Celestia received was not one that she wanted or expected, as Cloud Kicker belched loudly, causing Sassaflash to wince. "Kicky...You're so disgusting." "What? The popcorn tastes like buttery heaven, and I heard that you can show your appreciation for good food by burping very loudly. I'm doing just that!" "Please!" The two background ponies looked up at Celestia, who had made the outcry and was obviously in distress right now. "I'm worried about Luna and your comrades! Shouldn't we be trying to help them?! They could be in danger right now while we're just sitting here on a sofa!" "Doubtful." Sassaflash said, returning to her game. "At the very most, Luna is very scared right now while Minuette and Heartstrings are trying to calm her down over the unbelievable phenomenon she just witnessed, so there isn't really any real need to go out and find them; besides, we still got a mental link to Heartstrings and Minuette, and they're fine, so there's no need to worry about them for now, assuming Minuette and Heartstrings are still the amazing ponies they were a thousand years ago. I have no reason to doubt them now, and they haven't contacted us for help, so there's no need to worry about them." I forget about that mental link so many times...And it is true that Minuette and Heartstrings are extremely capable ponies. However, what phenomenon is she speaking of? Confused, Celestia tried to think of any supernatural phenomena that would occur in Canterlot that would only scare Luna and not the rest of Canterlot, who seemed to not be afraid of whatever Luna currently was in. In the end, she was completely stumped for an answer, as the ponies of Canterlot could easily be excited by simply blowing bubbles in their general direction. "What do you mean, Sassaflash? I know not of any phenomena that would scare Luna and not the rest of Canterlot, and I'm sure you know just how excitable some Canterlot ponies can be." Cloud Kicker set down the mostly-empty bowl of popcorn, and exchanged a sad glance with Sassaflash before looking up at the worried alicorn seated between them. "Tia...You...Do know what day its today, right?" Duh? I'm not drunk, sleepy, or under the influence of anything that might cloud my judgement, which, sadly, seems to happen far too often to me nowadays. "...Friday. What does that have to do with anything, Cloud Kicker? I didn't notice anything unusual." Sassaflash sighed, and took a moment to wonder how Celestia of all ponies did not know what made this Friday special. How could she just notice today? It had been set in place for years, and Celestia, of all ponies, didn't notice what happened to Canterlot and other major shopping areas in Equestria? Such a thing boggled Sassaflash's mind. "Well, you see..." "...It's Black Friday." Luna was currently holed up in a hotel room with Minuette (who had just stated the name of the terror she just went through), and Heartstrings (who was snoring loudly on the bed). They were unable to make their way back to the castle last night due to a sudden flood of ponies and changelings in Canterlot beginning to run around like crazy, shoving each other out of the way in order to reach various stores. Minuette had quickly diverted them into a hotel, and they had spent the night there. However, upon awaking, Luna saw that there was still a massive crowd of ponies and changelings outside; in fact, it looked like it only got bigger since last night! "Black Friday? It sounds like a terrible day indeed! What must I do in order to stop the madness that has befallen the ponies and changelings outside?!" "Erm. As bad as it sounds, Black Friday isn't actually a very bad event at all." "Not bad?!" Luna promptly got up from the sofa she was sitting on, and strode on over to a nearby window, pulling the blinds up. The first (and only) thing Minuette and Luna saw was a sea of ponies running around through Canterlot. "In all my years, I have never seen so many ponies and changelings packed in Canterlot!" I really wish Lulu would take the time to learn a little bit more about the new things that happened during her one-thousand year absence instead of having fun and goofing off with the other alicorns. Minuette's thought process was interrupted when a very cranky-sounding Heartstrings began speaking through their telepathic link. Minuette...Please...For your love of me...Find the screeching cat and make it go 'way...I wanna sleep... ...There is no cat, and there is no love, Heartstrings. ...Ugh, must be Luna, then...And w-what do you mean no love for me, I'm a perfectly lovable, huggable, snuggable cuddly pony! Heartstrings yawned as she dropped down from the ceiling of the hotel room where she had spent the night (a habit she picked up from some bat-ponies), and instead of landing on her feet much like a cat would and without much pain at all, she instead collided with Minuette painfully, causing both ponies to fall to the floor in a tangled heap full of pain. OW. I knew! I knew something like this would happen, because it happens almost every single time she sleeps on the ceiling! Land on Luna next time! A very annoyed Minuette was but an inch from smacking her partner absolutely senseless, and it was only the fact that she needed Heartstrings to help her defend Luna from any possible threats that she did not do so immediately. "For the love of...Get OFF, Heartstrings!" "...Heck of a way to wake up..." Heartstrings murmured as she got off Minuette, and offered her a hoof. Minuette grudgingly accepted it, and looked over at Luna, who was looking at the two with some amusement. "Well...That was...A nice distraction. The distraction cannot last forever, however! You cannot say that there is no solution to this; there must be something that I can do! Tia must have had some method to ensure that something like this does not get out of hoof! Tell me what I must do to cleanse Canterlot of this madness!" Heartstrings stepped up to Luna's side at the window, wondering what she was making a fuss over. Upon seeing the massive crowds running around to and fro outside, she gave a low whistle, always having been amazed by crowds of this magnitude that this day always seemed to bring. "Oooooooh, that's one heck of a Black Friday crowd gathered in Canterlot today!" Luna stamped a hoof insistently, causing the two Background Ponies to look at her. "You two keep mentioning this 'Black Friday'! I know not what it is, and you two keep mentioning it like I'm supposed to know! Tell me, this very instant, what Black Friday means, and why I should not be worried about the ponies and changelings out there, because it looks like it's the end of the world, with how they rush about!" Tia, you need to supervise Luna's learning...She's obviously not learning anything. Sighing, Minuette tried to ignore the slight pain in her back due to her failure of being unable to support a falling Heartstrings, and began to explain a little bit more about Black Friday to Luna. "Calm down! It's nothing to worry about, Lulu! Black Friday is the Friday right after Thanksgiving; at around this time, companies are in the 'black', which means that they are making profit, compared to being in the 'red', where they usually reside in for the rest of the year. It is a tradition of sorts to put items up on sale at incredibly low prices on this day, and lots of ponies enjoy shopping on this particular day. That is why it's called Black Friday, and it's also why we have a crowd outside that could easily start a riot, but as long as there are plenty of items for them to buy in the stores, we should be fine." Well, that has cleared up things for me. As much as it troubles me to see such a large crowd outside, as long as it seems to be a 'tradition', I suppose there's nothing I can do about it. With a sigh, Luna watched the ponies outside scramble around, like bees in a hive. "Very well, then, at least I know I have no cause for alarm just yet, as badly as things seem outside. So, this 'Black' Friday, many things are put up on sale today, as you described?" Heartstrings nodded, poorly attempting to stifle a yawn before speaking to Luna. "That's right! We get so many things put on sale on Black Friday at such a low price, it's absolutely unbelievable until you see for yourself! You cannot possibly believe what goes on sale during this time of year, even I can't believe it myself!" Unfortunately, Luna took Heartstrings' words as a challenge. "What? You think I couldn't possibly grasp the idea of things being on sale?! You mock and hurt me, Heartstrings! I shall prove you wrong by facing the crowds myself to get myself breakfast!" After firing off one of her evil glares at Heartstrings, Luna made her way to the door, determined to prove Heartstrings wrong. Minuette quickly got in Luna's way, determined to stop her from leaving the nice, cozy, and safe hotel room they took shelter in, but Luna trampled on her, leaving behind a scared-looking Heartstrings, and a very annoyed and roughed-up Minuette, who looked up at her partner with a glare that rivaled Luna's. "Luna's gone." Heartstrings nodded warily, trying her best to look away from her partner's gaze, to no avail. "...Y-Yeah..." A blue hoof pointed out the window. "Out there. In the crowds." With much work, Heartstrings pulled free from Minuette's chilling gaze, and looked at the window, before turning her gaze over back to her partner. "...So?" Heartstrings got slapped promptly by Minuette before dragged outside of the hotel. Due to the nature of the situation they were in, Minuette sent out a message to Sassaflash and Cloud Kicker, confident that Celestia would be safe alone in the castle with just the Royal Guard, though she took the opportunity to insult her partner first. Heartstrings is useless! USELEEEEEEEESS! Luna is now somewhere in this forsaken crowd and we can't find her now! Grumbling, Heartstrings looked away from Minuette, offended. Meanie. Sassaflash was the first to actually answer Minuette's question, though she responded with another question that sounded very cautious. Uh, you...Lost Luna in the crowds out there, Minuette? Uh, no, I didn't, but Heartstrings did, and now we need help to bring her back before she finds out that slurpees are virtually free today! Well then...I was actually going to ask you for help as well, because, you see...Cloud Kicker here... Cloud Kicker interrupted Sassaflash, and from the sound of her thoughts, was agitated. Look I SWEAR I didn't know she'd take it that way okay?! How was I supposed to know that would happen, of all things?! Minuette stopped dead in her tracks, feeling her blood run cold. ...Tia is out in the crowds, isn't she? There was silence from the two ponies, but Sassaflash managed to muster up the courage to say one word. Yep. For the first time in countless generations of Black Friday, all who were present in Canterlot were still as they paused to shudder and look at one another with fright as a shrill scream of anguish and despair sounded out, by one Minuette. Author's Note Luna witnesses the awesome and terrible sight of Black Friday! Yes I know Black Friday is far away and gone now, I guess I've been taking all this free-time I suddenly got from not writing these stories for granted This was really hard to figure out the ending to because I don't know what I was doing
I'll take you on, Tia!I'll take you on, Tia! When preparing for combat with another, it is absolutely vital to judge your opponent carefully before formulating a plan to defeat them, as to avoid being surprised when they pull an unexpected maneuver over you. I, however, only know that Tia has had more culinary sampling over the years than I, which already puts me at an extreme disadvantage. Adding onto the fact that my sister looks confident, I can tell that she isn't worried at all about the upcoming battle. She could, of course, be bluffing; however, she could also be well and truly confident that she will best me in the arena. I have very little doubt about the latter being true; after all, I'm pretty sure it took a lot of pie to give my sister the giant rump she has now; it's practically a weapon of mass destruction! A somewhat worried Luna walked alongside Celestia slowly, trying to gauge her sister's strengths, weaknesses, and possible counter-attacks that she may perform, all for the upcoming challenge that was issued by her sister last night. Luna had been ravenously eating a pie once dinner was eaten, and her sister had made a few remarks that had sparked off an argument between the two. Eventually, in an attempt to prove herself as the better one, Celestia had issued the challenge, and Luna had readily accepted it, though now, Luna was not so sure it was the best course of action she could have taken; after all, the contest was against her sister, who had much more experience in the art of warfare. This challenge was being judged by Rarity, the same judge that was at the dodge-ball competition. She was waiting in the massive dining hall, where pies were located to prove who was the best at eating pie. Okay...Think positive, Luna! I am NOT going to lose this challenge! I'm already humiliated enough by the dodge-ball contest, and I will not have Tia besting me here! Where as she has experience, I have...Uh...Determination! Yeah! My determination to win will triumph over her experience at eating pie! Maybe! The somewhat encouraging pep-talk that Luna gave herself made her feel a little better at the upcoming trial ahead of her, and with that confidence she pushed pass her sister, who rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Oh, look who suddenly feels like they can call the shots, now. You better cool off that hot air you're blowing out, Lulu!" The remark stung Luna, who shot back a retort with much venom in her voice. "Can it, Tia! I'll win this contest and rub it in your face just like you rub cake in your face when no one is looking at you!" ...I'm going to ignore that remark about rubbing cake in my face because it's actually true, and I don't really want to acknowledge the fact that she mentioned it. Celestia raised a brow, attempting to throw her sister off-track by destroying her confidence. "Tell me, why do you feel so confident even though you know you're up against a far more experienced opponent? Do you actually think you have a chance at beating me at a game I have been playing for a long, long time? Don't make me laugh, Lulu, because you just told me a very unfunny joke that is funny when you think too hard about it! That means it's not really a joke at all and complicates things far too much than it should have!" "The only joke being told around here will be you, once I've won this contest, and it will not be a complicated joke that really isn't a joke! You will not laugh at this joke because the joke's on you! I'll take you on, Tia! Don't you dare forget about the humiliating defeat you will soon suffer from me because I certainly won't let you forget about it anytime soon!" Perhaps more retorts would have been exchanged between the two if there was time; however, the last set of doors leading into the great dining hall were a few mere feet in front of them. With a mock curtsy, Luna offered her sister the door. "Oh, pluuuuuh-leeeez, excuuuuuuz moi, yuh can opin dah dooooor fuuuuuuurst, I insiiiiiist!" "What are you, a young foal trying to act like a princess? Well, you are a princess, so cut that out!" Celestia pushed the doors open, revealing a few ponies surrounded by pies of all kinds; the conflicting smells of the combined pies gathered around in such close proximity caused Celestia's sense of smell to go haywire, but she held back her desire to dive into the mountain of pies, and nudged Luna gently. "Let's see who wins this challenge, eh?" The two alicorns slowly made their way towards a small group of ponies, one of which who sighed as she held out a clipboard. "Well, time for another contest, it seems. Of course it had to be now, when I was visiting Canterlot. Such timing! So much I regret! Wow! Rarity, you have the worst timing when it comes to these trips!" "You're already much luckier than us; at least you don't have to actually live with them everyday, it's not even safe to look at them, because something bad happens!" Minuette muttered, looking up at the tower of pies that looked like they would fall upon them. "Speaking of things not being safe, I...Don't think it's safe to just have all these pies on top of one another, it looks like a small breeze could topple all this pie on top of us." Beside the blue unicorn, Heartstrings laughed, waving a hoof over to Luna and Celestia. "Just think of it like jenga, Minuette! Hot, tasty jenga that might crush us under flavourful goodness should we accidentally pick a pie that is out of place and cause an avalanche! I bet you're the one that pulls the wrong pie out!" With a sigh, Minuette looked over at Rarity with despair. "I have the worst partner ever, that gives the worst encouragement ever, with the worst coat colour in existence. I've been doomed from the start." "I'm glad I'm not you, Minuette; I'm bothered enough by Sweetie Belle when she comes back home covered in tree sap; I still don't know how this happens every other day." As Celestia and Luna sat down across from each other, Rarity cleared her throat, and began speaking of the rules of the contest that was about to commence. "Alright...Now, this is not a contest to see who can eat the most pies! At least, not just that, because Princess Celestia would have quite the unfair advantage with her experience. My rules are set on a small variety of things to help even the odds here for Princess Luna, but you will still have an advantage, Princess Celestia. I will be scoring based on your eating form, how quickly you can eat a pie, and your ability to adjust to different flavours of pie on the fly. Literally. Minuette and Heartstrings here will be tossing pies of various flavours at you, and you must catch them with your hooves. There are other things I will be scoring, but are of low point value, such as what you do with the pie tin afterwards. No magic is allowed, and the first to forfeit for whatever reason is the loser, which means I proclaim the other as the winner, unless you both happen to forfeit at the same time, at which I will call a draw and ask to commence the contest at another time, when the chefs feel like baking thousands of pies again. Are you two ready to begin?" With a nod of agreement from both alicorns, Rarity blew on her whistle, beginning the epic pie-eating contest. As instructed, Minuette and Heartstrings flung pies at Celestia and Luna, respectively, with differing results. Celestia caught the pie cleanly, and immediately began munching through it, whereas Luna's attempt was...Not as 'clean'. She did not raise her hooves up as fast as one should have when catching such a delicious projectile, which resulted in the pie splattering across her coat, causing Celestia to snort with laughter as she was eating her pie. Heartstrings tossed another pie at Luna, who managed to catch this pie and begin her task of eating through the pie with much energy, trying to make up for lost time. Rarity watched the two alicorns intently, both of whom were eating through their pies very quickly, messily, and efficiently, each eager to try and outdo the other. So far, there was no clear winner in sight, though she suspected that something eventful would happen soon. "Another pie for Celestia...Another pie for Luna...Another pie for Celestia...Another for...No, wait, Luna smashed her pie into Celestia's face and now a fight is breaking out...Again..." An annoyed Heartstrings looked over at Rarity before tossing another pie at Luna, who caught it gracefully before attempting to bludgeon her sister with it. "Is it really necessary for you to narrate every single thing that happens during this contest?" With a huff of irritation, Rarity watched as the fight broke out, waiting for the two alicorns to stop fighting each other for the tenth time before beginning to tally more information about the pies that they've eaten (and was now beginning to tally how many pies they wasted by using them to attack the other). "It helps me concentrate on the task at hoof!" "Ignore her," Minuette said, tossing another pie for Celestia, who used the pie as a shield from Luna's assault. "Heartstrings just gets annoyed by endless droning about stuff that doesn't need to be repeated, everypony does at some point; though I didn't think that Heartstrings would be so upfront and rude about it. Anyway, how many pies have the two eaten for the contest and wasted in these fights?" "Well," Rarity began, not bothering to take a look down at her clipboard, "Ignoring the outburst your partner made-" Heartstrings interrupted, frowning at the two unicorns. "You gotta admit, it's true!" "...I can't really say for sure because I doubt the two of you will keep track of how many pies the two are slinging around at each other which will throw off my counting rhythm, but I can say with certainty that at least two-hundred pies have been eaten, and about five-hundred of those pies have been wasted in their fighting. We still have about three-thousand pies left in the dining hall, and, assuming that the chefs used their special magical cooking fire that keeps things nice, fresh and warm longer than usual, the contest should run about another hour before the pies begin to grow cold, at which point I will stop the contest because I don't want our princesses to hit each other with pies that are cold and solid like a rock." "Huh," Minuette muttered, tossing another pie into the fray, "I didn't think they used that many pies while fighting each other. I mean, sure, a lot of pies flew, but...five-hundred and counting? They're like big foals." "Once you've considered the foalish things they've done in the past, I'd say your example of them was spot on, Minuette," Heartstrings remarked, pulling out a pie to toss at Luna. In doing so, she heard felt the ground shake slightly, and looked over at the other two unicorns, hoping that they had some idea of what just happened. "You two feel that?" "Hmm?" Minuette looked at her partner, curious as to what she was talking about. "Feel what, Heartstrings?" "The ground shook. Is an earthquake happening?" "...No. I don't think so, otherwise I would have felt it. You're just crazy, Heartstrings." "...Huh." Heartstrings pulled out another pie, and this time, the rumbling was more noticeable and louder, causing Minuette to sigh and rub her head gently with a hoof. If there is anything, anything wrong with my prediction, I'm going to eat a pair of deep-fried socks dipped in ketchup and topped with chocolate ice cream. I hate chocolate ice cream. "Let me guess, Heartstrings, your prediction of our current situation is similar to jenga, which you mentioned earlier, you just so happened to pull out the wrong pie or pies, and we're gonna get buried underneath a bunch of pies, aren't we?" Heartstrings looked up to see the mountain of pies swaying from left to right, and nodded slowly as it began to tip over. "Yep, seems about right, Minuette." Well, it looks like we'll never know if Celestia or Luna is the better pie eater now. "Ugh. I hope this umbrella helps to migrate the damage done to me," Rarity muttered, as she used her magic to unfold an umbrella over herself. "I just bought this thing, too." Upon seeing the looks that Minuette and Heartstrings gave her, she turned her back on them, and watched as the first few pies beginning to make their way towards them. "I must be fabulous, even if I must suffer through this calamity!" Soon, everything was buried underneath pie. Author's Note Pie eating contest Much pie, such amaze, wow No one wins They're all buried underneath a bunch of pie I have no idea what the punchline was supposed to be
I quit, Lulu!I quit, Lulu! Like walking into a dream, so unlike what you've seen... Cautiously, Luna moved around in Rainbow Dash's nightmare, attempting to find the source of her terror to put it down for good. Contrary to popular belief of what she did when she dream-walked, she did not actually give ponies their dreams, but rather eradicated their nightmares so that they could possibly get some sleep, and perhaps dream afterwards. She never bothered to correct anypony, as there was simply no need to, and she liked the idea of being able to create dreams; it gave her a sense of power that she enjoyed. Right now, though, this particular nightmare was being too stubborn for her to fix, as she could not find the source of the nightmare that was causing Rainbow Dash's torment. Who knew the pegasus was so afraid of heights? It explained why she liked crashing into the ground so often. Right...Eliminating the tower that she is afraid to jump off of and placing her back on the ground doesn't help...Every time I turn my back, I hear Rainbow Dash screaming for me to stay again, and the tower is right back where it was, with her on top of it. Hmm... Truthfully, Luna did not know what to do in events like this; she knew very little of how a pony's mind worked, and even less of dreams and nightmares, even though this was in her domain of work. Often times she merely wandered around, adjusting various things in a pony's mind to try and 'fix' them, which usually worked. It was always the little things that changed something. A familiar voice behind Luna called out, with an exasperated tone of voice. "You're not going to be able to fix Rainbow Dash's nightmare, Lulu. Trust me, I tried, and nothing seems to work." "Hi Moonie." Turning around, Luna met Nightmare Moon's gaze, and frowned at Nightmare Moon's disheveled appearance. "Ow. Someone has been through the blender. How long have you been in here? You sound and look really tired." Wearily, Nightmare Moon waved her right hoof carelessly around as she tried to remember how long she had stayed in Rainbow Dash's repetitive nightmare. "The blender sucks. I've been here for...About an hour? I can't keep track of time in here. You would be tired, too, if you tried to do everything I did. I swear, this pony is hopeless." Luna leapt up to Rainbow Dash's defense reluctantly, feeling silly about what she was going to say. "Well, I wouldn't exactly say that Rainbow Dash is hopeless..." Nightmare Moon waved her right hood over at Rainbow Dash, who was screaming like a little filly at the top of a three foot tower made out of cardboard. "A pegasus. One that can perform the Sonic Rainboom. Scared. Of. Heights. Oh, she also screams like a little filly, kind like you whenever you lose a game." "That's not true!" "Is too. Remember when I won all those tic-tac-toe games last night?" You're never going to let me forget about that, are you? So what if I lost seventy times in a row, I was just warming up! "Look, as much as you like to bring up bad moments in history that are better off being lost, forever, can we just concentrate on eliminating Rainbow Dash's nightmare?! As silly and dumb as it is, we still need to do our job and move onto the next pony!" Muttering an insult under her breath, Nightmare Moon clapped her hooves together, and a notepad appeared right in front of her. She passed it onto Luna, then sat down on her rump, eager to pass on her work over to Luna as she took a moment to rest. "In addition to my notes of the situation, Rainbow Dash happens to want me to carry her down the tower, and changing the height of the tower does nothing; obviously, the tower seems to be unable to be moved in any way, shape or form, and changing the material of the tower does not seem to work. I've placed trampolines at the bottom, gave Rainbow Dash a parachute, and tried slapping her awake, among other things too numerous to list that you can read for yourself on the notepad. Nothing seems to work." The notes that Nightmare Moon gave Luna were very neat and to the point, which Luna appreciated as she saw that Rainbow Dash's nightmare might be a lot easier to solve than she thought it was going to be. Oh, Moonie...You're a very practical pony, and I respect that, but you clearly have no imagination when it comes to this sort of thing! There's a reason why ponies dream, and it's not about setting fire to their workplace or wishing school was out forever! ...Okay, maybe those examples are pushing it since many ponies do wish that would happen, but nevertheless, you have no creativity when it comes to this! Ponies dream the most unimaginable things with their imagination, and you can't really get rid of their nightmares practically! It's just not possible! "Are...You okay, Luna? You're spacing out. Luna. Luna. Lulu. LULU, ARE YOU STILL WITH ME?" "Huh? Oh...Yeah, I'm fine." Luna tossed the notepad that Nightmare gave her behind her back, and upon landing on the ground, it exploded into confetti, which slowly rose up into the air, and after about five seconds, the confetti turned into butterflies and flew away. "I've read through your notes, an-" Nightmare Moon spoke up over Luna, with a smile on her face. "So you agree with me that Rainbow Dash's nightmare is impossible to fix, and that we should probably just leave her alone for tonight while we find some other ponies to help?" While I would like to simply move on, Rainbow Dash's nightmare should be relatively easy to fix and requires virtually no effort. Heck, I don't think it'll take more than a snap of my hooves! Honestly, I'm surprised you've been here for an entire hour, Moonie. "No, Moonie, I think tha-" "We should take the night off, grab some snacks from the kitchens, and watch random movies for seven hours straight so when Celestia finds us, we'll be trashed and unable to do any work?" For the love of...Well, actually, that does sound appealing, but darn it, Moonie, stop speaking over me! Irritated at being interrupted again, Luna shook her head, and shot a glare at Nightmare Moon. "If you interrupt me again, so help me Faust, I'm going to punch you in the face and then stick a needle in your rump. It's not going to be a small needle either." "Whatever, you don't scare me." So quickly that Luna almost missed it, Nightmare Moon looked behind her, making sure that no abnormally large needle was nearby to make its way into her rump. Okay...Maybe I can actually talk now. First things first, I'll insult you! "Alright...Now, what I'm thinking is that you have been doing everything wrong and have absolutely no imagination at all." Indignantly, and rather predictably, Nightmare Moon stood up, angry at what Luna said. "What?! I have plenty of imagination, thank you very much, little miss Moon butt!" Moon butt?! "Why have you only tried to fix Rainbow Dash's nightmare with practical ways of thinking, then?! You also have a moon on your butt as well, so you're a Moon butt too!" "Uh, I used practical ways to try and fix Rainbow Dash's nightmare because it's logical to fix problems while thinking practically? Most things aren't fixed with imagination, and, well, at least my butt isn't as big as the moon, like yours!" Luna flailed her hooves about, trying to get her point across to Nightmare Moon. "This is a pony's mind! Imagination runs rampant! There's no need to think logically at all!" "Excuuuuuuuuse me, princess, I'm new to the job! I give ponies nightmares, which is really, really easy! I don't go around trying to erase them! We have two similar, but not really the same jobs!" "That's no excuse, now shut up, Tia wanted you to see if you could help me with my work on certain nights, not that I need your help at all! We all had to start somewhere, and probably not with the good working conditions you started training in! I don't like having to share my domain, but it's necessary to make things easier for the both of us; I have yet to create nightmares, and I have no doubt you'll be eager to teach me all about them. Anyway...From what I see from your notes, you haven't tried changing the scene, Moonie." Good conditions? Bah, you smacked my rump around with a two by four made of bread while I was trying to figure out how to fix Tia's 'nightmare' in that practice run last week! I will never look at bread the same way again. Also...Admittedly, yes, I do suppose I'll find teaching you the finer points about nightmares to be very interesting. I have to say, changing the...Scene? Huh? What exactly are you talking about? Nightmare Moon didn't comprehend the general idea of what Luna said she should try, so she made the most intelligent reply that she possibly could in this given situation. "What." "...You simply change the scene, Moonie. You need some creativity for this, which is why I'm not surprised that you've been here for so long. You're such a silly, Moonie." With a glare, Nightmare Moon stepped up into Luna's personal space, growling softly as she uttered a threat. "I take offense to that. A lot of offense. So much offense that you better believe I'm going to take the offense and put you on the defense with my superior offense, which will shatter your inferior defense into so many little pieces." Nightmare Moon then stepped back, and waved a hoof over at Rainbow Dash. "Anyway, what do you mean by changing the scene?" ...I may be in for quite the fight. Nice going, Lulu! "...Well, in some cases, some ponies have too hard a grip on their nightmares to truly respond to any treatment I may provide for them. However, if I change the scene around them into something a little more pleasant, it changes how they might react. For example...Would you rather sleep in a nice, warm, cozy bed, or would you rather sleep outside in the rain?" "...I see your point, Lulu, but what exactly are you going to change the scene to?" "Something simple and sweet, Moonie; it'll be very relaxing for her, hopefully." Turning around to face Rainbow Dash, Luna took a look around the general area, and smiled before lighting up her horn. Slowly, the featureless surrounding area around Rainbow Dash turned into a pool, and the little cardboard tower that Rainbow Dash was scared of off of was exchanged with a diving board. To make the scene a little more convincing, she added the rest of the Elements of Harmony into the pool, based entirely on what Rainbow Dash thought of them. "Hey, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie waved her hoof up at her, and was currently splashing some water onto Applejack, who laughed as she splashed her aggressor back. "Come in! The water is great!" "Huh?! O-Oh...Okay, Pinkie, here I come!" As suspected, Rainbow Dash didn't want to appear scared to her friends, and so, taking the bait, Rainbow Dash dived into the pool, creating quite the splash. Luna's feeling of satisfaction over triumphing where Nightmare Moon could not was promptly replaced by confusion as another Pinkie Pie appeared, tut-tutting at the scene. "I do not sound like that! Dashie has my voice just a smidgen too high! It needs to be a smidgen lower!" With that said, Pinkie Pie disappeared just as quickly as she left, leaving behind two very confused alicorns. After a moment of attempting to process the fact that an earth pony had just entered a very sacred realm, Nightmare Moon looked over to her friend, and groaned inwardly, knowing that any answer she was likely to receive was most likely going to be an answer she didn't want. "Hey...Lulu?" "Yes, Moonie?" Luna snapped out of her trance to look over at Nightmare Moon, still trying to process the thought that Pinkie Pie just showed up. "Was...That...You know...Pinkie Pie?" Are you blind? She was just there! Nodding slowly, Luna confirmed Nightmare Moon's question with the motion and her following words. "...Yeah, that was Pinkie Pie. Why?" Promptly, Nightmare Moon spun around, and began walking away. "I quit, Lulu! I can't deal with this anymore! Let's just...I don't know, go eat a tub of ice cream, I've had enough dream-walking for tonight!" Although she knew very well that joining Nightmare Moon would lead to a head-ache, Luna felt like she deserved one for what she just saw. "...Alright. Okay, that sounds like...Something I need after seeing that." Author's Note Rainbow Dash is scared of heights, who would have thought about it It all matters on perspective! Moonie quits
I can't sleep, Tia!I can't sleep, Tia! Within the chambers of the lunar princess, if one from outside it had a keen ear, they could faintly hear the rustling of somepony turning over and murmuring curses; though such a pony might associate these sounds with somepony waking up, it was, in fact, Princess Luna herself attempting (And failing) to go to sleep. This was made more apparent when a sudden shout from outside slightly startled the two guards out in front of her chambers, and they both shared a short glance before the senior guard spoke. "Knock on her door, rookie, and ask her if she's doing alright." The command was met with a hesitant smile from the younger guard, and she gave a chuckle before fluttering her eyelashes at him, attempting to look as cute as one could while wearing a set of armor. "Oh, no, not me, surely a much stronger and smarter stallion like yourself should knock on Princess Luna's door! After all, it's the senior guards that deserve the honor, not us younger ones!" Unfortunately, the rookie's flirting did not penetrate through to the senior guard's steely demeanor. "Yeah, nice try, rookie, you're still going to knock on Princess Luna's door." The rookie grumbled something underneath her breath before looking at the doors that she was assigned to protect; they suddenly seemed much more eerie and forbidden to open. Attempting to look brave to her partner, who had a faint smirk on his face, she raised up a hoof to knock on the door... ...Only to suddenly be greeted with a wide-eyed Princess Luna that was frothing at the mouth! With a squeak, the guard fell backwards, and shivered as the lunar princess strode pass them, yelling out in the royal canterlot voice, nearly causing permanent damage to the two unlucky guards that were assigned to guard Luna's doors that shift. "TIA!" Elsewhere, in the castle, Princess Celestia was viewing the ridiculous new bill that was attempting to be passed with one of her advisers when she heard the pet name that Luna had for her, and quite loudly, as well. She looked at her adviser with a slight smile at the corners of her mouth, and stood up slowly, speaking softly as she did so. "I believe my sister requires my assistance, so I shall be on my way." Her adviser nodded, and began to gently handle the bill, ready to be presented at the next meeting. Inwardly, Celestia groaned; she hoped her adviser misplaced the bill, it would be a service to Equestria that she could knight him for, and would have done so gladly. One less stupid bill for her to 'consider'. She strode down the halls at a brisk trot, towards the sound of her sister's voice. The one thing she had never thought her sister would do was screaming her pet name in the royal canterlot voice, so she wondered why she would start now. "Lulu? Are you ok-" Any intention of finishing her sentence was interrupted when something collided with her, causing them to fall down in an undignified manner to the floor in a tangled knot of limbs and sputtered, nonsensical words of surprise. Wincing from the impact, a dazed Celestia tried to retrieve her bearings, only to see that her vision was clouded by a dark, ethereal mane; although there was only one other that had such a mane, she supposed it wouldn't hurt to make sure. "Luna?" She was immediately barraged by the lunar princess. "TIA, WE...I CANNOT GET SOME SLEEP, IT IS DRIVING US...ME CRAZY!" Being in such close proximity to her sister while she was yelling reminded Celestia that Luna really needed to learn voice control. "Lulu, inside voice, please! Take a deep breath, and slowly, quietly, tell me what's wrong. Get your mane out of my face as well so I can try to get up without accidently kicking at you." Her sister sighed quietly, and pulled her mane away from Celestia, who swore to Faust that something was wrong with her vision; there was a faint sparkle in between her eyes, but she simply brushed it off as being dazed from Luna's self-propelled impact with her. The two of them took that moment to then untangle themselves from each other; it was a good thing that this corridor of the castle didn't have any nearby guards, for it would make for a rather amusing, if embarrassing moment for the two sisters to have been seen like this. Luna then spoke up in a much more controlled voice level, but it was not to explain her problem. "Sister, why do you have a comet between your eyes?" Celestia sighed, and after shooting a glare at her sister, drew upon her massive reserves of magic to levitate the miniature comet out from between her eyes. "I think it stuck to me after your mane got in my face when you collided with me like a truck." Ignoring her sister's complaint, Luna took hold of the comet with her own magical power, and placed it back inside her mane, in an area where it wouldn't be so easily stuck to another alicorn should she impact with them. After doing so, she explained her actual problem. "I cannot sleep, sister, I have tried everything; hot chocolate, sleeping on the floor, on the ceiling, tiring myself out with quick two minute workouts, singing, none of that works! I even tried snuggling a life sized plushie that I stole from your bedroom of your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, and even that didn't help! Furthermore..." She would have said more, if it wasn't for Celestia suddenly raising up a hoof to halt her sister from speaking more, not believing what her sister had just said. "Wait...I think I have just boarded the crazy train and I'm beginning to hear crazy things coming from your mouth, Lulu. Did you just say that you stole, and then snuggled with a life sized plushie of my student, and that didn't work?" "Yes, it didn't work, and that was our last resort!" "How could that have not worked?! That's the foolproof way of going to sleep for me!" She was going to pointedly ignore the fact that her sister was in her room, if only for this moment. "Nevertheless, sister, it has failed us...Me! I have no other options to help me obtain my sleep, so we...I came by to see if you had any suggestions, Tia!" Celestia placed her hoof back down onto the floor, frowning as she tried to think of a solution for her sister; if even the foolproof way had failed her. There must have been something that Luna overlooked. Both alicorn sisters simply stood in that corridor, both with different things running through their minds; Celestia, with the attempts at finding a solution for her sister, and Luna, scolding one particular comet that decided to latch onto her sister, then turned to the problem at hoof. The silence between the two was broken when Luna spoke up, with a bright, happy expression on her face. "I got it, Tia! How about I sleep with you?" The reaction she got from the solar princess was amusing, as her blushing caused her normally white cheeks to quickly heat to a rosey red, and the stammering from her mouth was making it impossible for Luna to pick out any specific words from her. It was only until after the amusement factor had worn off that she was able to realize what she said in modern terms, and she blushed as well, although not as badly as her sister. "Oh, no no no no NO! I don't mean 'sleep' like that, sister! Ew! I mean snuggling together, in bed! That's the only thing I haven't tried yet!" Thankfully, her explanation caused Celestia to calm down quickly, though her cheeks still retained their rosey color. "O-Oh, Lulu. Just...Cuddling? My, we haven't done so in...Well, millennia ago, when we were foals!" "Yes, sister, I know, that's why I think it'll help me now! I understand, though, if you're busy and can't do so with me..." "Well, I do require a bit of warming up to the idea..." "I can tell you've been warmed up enough by the idea, Tia, by your cheeks." The solar princess shot a glare at her lunar counterpart, who just barely stifled a giggle. "Very funny, Lulu. Jokes aside, I think I'll join you; the solar court is slow in terms of problems for me to address, and there are no pressing matters to attend to today; I'm feeling in the mood for a nap, anyway, so why not? I'm sure the well being of my sister comes first before the ridiculous bills being sent to me." Luna could hardly believe her luck; a possible solution to her problem, and the thought of her sister snuggling up with her, just like when they were foals? Perfect. She smiled at her sister, who returned it, and began to walk back towards her quarters, followed by her sister. "...Forgive me, I did not know that my actions have caused that to happen!" "You yelled out my nickname in the royal canterlot voice, and you didn't expect some damage to the two guards that were guarding your door? Who were right next to you?" "To be fair, sister, we were...I was desperate and almost completely insane by the time I realized that sleeping with a life sized plushie of your student wouldn't help me go to sleep; I'm sure you would have done the same." "...I wouldn't have sent two guards to the infirmary, though." Luna had no answer to that, so she shrugged at her sister before pulling some covers over; the replacements of the guards at the door had dutifully, but fearfully told both princesses what had happened to the two guards that were unlucky enough to have been assigned to guard the lunar princess' doors. She felt sorry for the guards, and would remember to double their pay for bravely withstanding her voice. A warm set of hooves wrapped around Luna in a tight cuddle, and Luna shifted herself slightly to return the hug, staring directly into her sister's eyes. "Goodnight...Or is it goodday, for you? Either way, I hope this works, Luna." "As do I, sister, as do I." Unfortunately, it didn't happen immediately, and there was only so much patience that Luna had. Celestia, sensing her sister's distress, began to hum the tune of a wordless lullaby to her sister. It didn't have its intended effect immediately, but slowly, the lunar princess' eyes began to droop, as did her sister's, and soon enough, both fell into the spell that claimed all, and spared none; sleep. Author's Note I can sleep perfectly fine with a life sized Twilight plushie
The floor is too cold, Lulu!The floor is too cold, Lulu! Celestia yawned as she woke up; her internal alarm clock told her that it was time to raise the sun, and she couldn't just disobey and sleep in; that would mean her little ponies wouldn't have a sun to work and play in! That didn't mean that she enjoyed getting out of bed though. For once, she wanted to sleep in, but every time, as she was about to pull up the covers over her head, she felt the need to raise the sun, which, by then, she would need to go through life in the castle, sneaking through hallways, avoiding aristocrats wanting to catch her off-guard, and sneaking cupcakes off when the chefs weren't looking; ah, her normal, everyday boring routine, though she did wonder what kind of cupcakes her chefs were making today. Sighing, she rolled out of her bed, and landed on the floor on her hooves with a rather heavy thud. Unfortunately for her, she always seemed to forget that the floor, made from marble, was very, very cold in the mornings, almost unbearably so; and she just placed her bare hooves on it. With a shriek, she jumped up back onto her bed, trembling from the icy floor; she wanted two things most of all right now, to get warm, and to find the pony responsible for designing her room to have a marble floor. Almost every morning was like this, and she hated it; it was annoying to have to remember this every morning. A pounding on her doors caught her attention, and she could clearly hear a guard's voice sound out from behind it; the voice was young and strong, most likely a newer member of the royal guard. "Princess, are you okay?" "I'm f-fine, thank y-you!" "You don't sound okay, Princess, we're coming in! ...You're...Uh, decent, right?" "...Ponies don't normally wear clothes!" There was a silence from the other end, most likely because the two guards that were always stationed outside the door were probably having a sudden daydream about a Celestia without her royal regalia on; yep, definitely rookies. She snorted, rolling her eyes. For once, she'd like to walk about in the palace without that ridiculous jewelry on, just like any normal pony. Oh well; she did need to keep up with appearances, so she levitated her golden metal horseshoes on, cringing at the cold surface, and she grit her teeth as she placed on her necklace, bravely withstanding the agony. Whoever decided it was a good idea for her to wear such items must not have realized the chilling agony she had to go through every morning with the cold metal pressing directly against her body, and having to walk with that same cold agony on her hooves for the rest of the day. Or maybe they did, crafty little buggers. "Are you still there? I'm...'Decent' now!" No response was given for a good thirty seconds before two guards suddenly burst through her door, with a slight pink twinge in their faces as they quickly scanned the room for threats. Unfortunately, as their adrenaline rush wore off, they began to feel the evil, cold grip of her marble floor, and they nearly succumbed to it, if it were not for the intervention of Celestia throwing them out through her doors and frantically rushing outside to them to make sure that the worst they got was a bad chill. It also just so happened that her sister was walking up to her room when she threw the guards out, and without knowing what exactly just happened, the lunar princess began to scold her older sister. "Tia! Have you been torturing the royal guards?!" "What are you talking about-" "These two stallions were just thrown out rudely!" "I was saving them-" "Saving them from what?! I'll have you know that..." Celestia sighed, and began to drone out Luna's ranting as she casted a spell on both guards, who were shivering from the cold and from the argument between the two sisters. The spell in question placed a magical earplug of sorts into the guard's ears, and she checked both of them quickly before taking in a deep breath, and... "THE FLOOR IS TOO COLD, LULU!" Not expecting the sudden outburst from her sister, Luna flew backwards from the force of Celestia's shout; fortunately, she managed to frantically flap her wings and stabilize herself in the air before she impacted the ceiling. Celestia sighed, and dispelled the 'earplugs' on both the guards before flying up to her sister, an apology already on her lips. "I'm sorry, Lulu, but you wouldn't let me speak, forgive me." "Then speak, Tia, and I may forgive you! We...I still do not see reason behind why you would throw out two stallions from your room if the floor is just cold, after all, from my view, it looks as if it could have been something scandalous!" Blushing from her sister's proclamation, she slowly glided down towards the floor, followed by her sister. "First off; guards? Please go back to guarding my door, please." The two guards nodded, and shuffled back to their former positions at her door, though they were more concentrated on rubbing their hooves in an attempt to warm them up rather than guard a door. Once they had done so, Celestia started walking towards her room, and stopped just outside the doors. "Lulu, I dare not go any further, and neither you, if you have any sense; my floor is accursed." "...What, Tia?" "My floor is colder than Tireks heart itself!" Luna looked at Celestia's floor, and her poker face was perfect for the first five seconds before she groaned, and lifted a hoof up. "Tia, you are overreacting! You mean to tell me that despite all the hot air you put on, you still get cold from merely touching the floor?" "Hey! I do not put on any hot air as you say it, and you don't know this marble floor, Lulu! It is my greatest enemy yet!" Luna looked dubiously at her sister before bringing her hoof down on the marble floor; it stayed there for a good fifteen seconds before Luna looked up at her sister with an annoyed expression. "You are overreacting, Tia, and besi-OH OH MOTHER OF FAUST THAT IS COLD WHY IS IT SO COLD?!" Luna backpedaled in sudden fear and confusion as the cold seemed to instantaneously hit her like a truck. Instinctively, she pressed up against Celestia, who was now blushing, and tried to get some warmth from her older sister. "Why haven't you done anything to this, Tia?!" "Hey, I warned you! Besides, there's not much I can do to a cold, marble floor." "Maybe you could add carpeting to the floor? Like what we're standing on, Tia? I mean, it's not that har-..." Luna trailed off slowly as her sister's eyes grew wide, and slowly, Luna began to slide away from Celestia, wondering if she accidentally said something she shouldn't have. "...Celestia?" "OF COURSE! IT'S BEEN A THOUSAND FAUST FORSAKEN YEARS, AND I DIDN'T BOTHER TO ASK TO INSTALL CARPETING IN MY ROOM AT ALL! YOU'RE A GENIUS, LUNA, A GENIUS!" In a sudden rush of energy, Celestia ran to Luna, kissed her on the cheek, then ran down the hall, crying up jubilantly and causing a ruckus that wasn't going to be remembered for a long, long time, much to future Celestia's dismay. Luna stood there, then fell back onto her rump, clearly confused about what just happened. After a moment, she turned her head around to the two guards, who were trying to keep a straight face on. "I have the weirdest sister, do you not think so?" "If I said yes, would you smite me?" "No." "Then yes." Author's Note I hate cold floors in the morning
Cadence is weird, Tia!Cadence is weird, Tia! Luna hummed quietly to herself as she waited outside the courtyard in a chair two sizes small for Cadence; she was arriving in Canterlot for a short stay, which Luna gladly welcomed. After all, she wasn't able to come by often, being in the crystal empire and all, so any chance to see her pranking buddy was immediately taken. Celestia wouldn't know what hit her, come tomorrow! That is, if Cadence ever showed up. She was thirty minutes behind schedule, and despite enjoying the comfortable chair that she was sitting on (sent to her as a gift from Cadence), she couldn't help but have that nagging thought that something was wrong with it. Perhaps a problem has risen within her realm, and she is unable to visit today. She mulled over that thought as she munched on the last cookie and drank the last of the milk on the plate that was given to her before ringing a bell, where a servant came out from one of their many hiding places (Luna swore that the servants doubled as the royal spy force), and promptly took the plate away before leaving another plate of cookies and milk for her. Milk and cookies were one of Luna's favorite snack combinations; quick, simple, and it left a warm feeling in her stomach as her nostalgia of older, bygone days returned. After dunking a cookie into the cup of milk, she lifted the cookie to her face, ready to sample its surely mouthwatering flavor, when suddenly, her eyesight was full of a pink pony's face. "HI AUNTIE LUNA!" "MOTHER OF FAUST WHAT IN TH-" Luna tipped her chair backwards, and made an attempt to scramble up to her hooves; unfortunately, the chair was firmly stuck to her posterior, and she tried in vain to push it off. Mentally, she made plans for ponies to check her chairs for possible pranks aimed at her posterior from the crystal empire. "Nnngh, don't just stand there laughing at me, Cadence, pull this off!" Cadence's loud laughter died down to short, soft giggles as she gently tried to pull the chair off from Luna. "Oh, I'm sorry, auntie Lulu! It's just so funny when I popped out like that, and even funnier when I saw the reaction you had after you realized you were stuck in that chair!" It took much force from Cadence, but eventually, with a 'pop', Luna was propelled from the chair, and Cadence was thrown backwards. Both alicorns lay motionless for awhile before slowly getting back up to their hooves, and dusted themselves off before Luna glared at Cadence, who was whistling innocently. Cadence probably did something to the chair personally; after all, it was a chair from the crystal empire made especially for her, so it must have been pranked with something. "Don't say anything about me getting my rump stuck in a chair, and I won't say how you fell flat on your rump." "If you say so, auntie! Oh, you have cookies!" A suddenly giddy Cadence reached over for a cookie, and bit into it, enjoying the gushing flavor of cookie-ness it had, a perfectly balanced combination of chocolate, sweet, crispy dough (she never did like soft cookies), and, of course, the most important part of all; the way it left her wanting more of the delectable things. She licked her lips, reaching for another warm cookie, when her hoof was swatted away by Luna, who then put herself between Cadence and the cookies, glaring at her with a sudden coldness. "What do you think you're doing, Cadence?!" A hurt Cadence frowned at her aunt's sudden aggression. "I...What? I was eating a cookie, Luna." "Who eats a cookie like that?" Cadence was confused by Luna's words, and tried to move around her aunt, only for Luna to follow along with her movement's. "What did I do wrong, auntie Luna?" Cadence was then treated to the most ridiculous reason she had ever heard from anypony. "You didn't dip the cookie in milk! What kind of pony eats cookies without milk?! It's heresy, I tell you!" ...What? Cadence tilted her head slightly, wondering if her aunt had just taken her medication and was just feeling loopy because of it. It certainly looked like she did. "...I never realized that not dipping a cookie in milk was considered heresy, Luna. I didn't even know there were beliefs and traditions when it came to cookies!" Instead of humoring her aunt about how weird it sounded to be describing cookies dipped in milk as heresy was silly, Luna only nodded, and began on a monologue about cookies, much to Cadence's dismay. "That is correct, Cadence! Cookies and milk, and milk and cookies! Not just cookies, or just milk, you cannot have one or the other, by my mother's name! Why, the very thought of eating cookies without milk scares me to death, and I pity the poor soul that thinks that they can eat cookies without dipping them in cold, delicious milk! May Faust have mercy on them when it is time for them to be judged of their crimes! If only Celestia saw these things the way I did, then we'd have passed on a law by now that required ALL ponies to dip their cookies in milk! What say you to that, Cadence?!" "...Well, that was a very interesting speech-" Ah! She sees my reasoning! "But of course! Should cookies and milk deserve less?!" Auntie Luna might not take my next bit of news well; I might be a dead princess soon. I'm sorry, Shining Armor! Cadence sighed at her aunt before saying the words that might anger her. "...But I can't drink milk." Ah ha! This is great this is...Huh? Luna stared dumbfounded at her niece for a moment before the words finally registered with her mind, and she asked the most intelligent question she had. "...What?!" "I'm lactose intolerant, auntie Lulu. It's a condition that means that I can't drink milk, and there are plenty of ponies that are just like me." "..." "Auntie Lulu?" Luna snorted, and extended her wings out. "A moment, please." Cadence watched as her aunt Luna took off into the skies, headed towards Celestia's room; idly, she grabbed a cookie, and began to munch on it. This won't end well. "Oh, she said that, Lulu?" Celestia looked up from the friendship report she had just received from her student (kites, apple juice, a wrecking-ball, cake and Pinkie Pie don't mix well together, apparently), and was listening to her sister complain about Cadence and her apparent disability to dunk cookies into milk. "Yes, Tia! Why, that is the worst excuse that I've heard from anypony! She even said that other ponies suffered from this as well! That surely had to have been made up on the spot! Cadence is weird, Tia! How can you not dip a cookie into milk?!" "Well, to answer your question, Lulu, there indeed are ponies that cannot ingest milk, and they are, indeed, called lactose intolerant." That's impossible though... Frowning, Luna asked a question that was bothering her. "But...Surely she had to have suckled milk from her mother?" Celestia shook her head, and wrapped her magic around the latest report she was given; after burning up, it was sent to her private archives for her to read later. Her spell left a rather distinct smell of poptarts, which she suddenly had a craving for. I need to work on that spell. "She was given a formula similar to milk that is not milk; many mares use it nowadays, though I think the natural way is the best." "...Oh." She'll get a kick out of this... "Do you want to know something weirder, however?" "What is that, Tia?" "Her husband, Shining Armor, is much, much weirder..." Author's Note Cookies and milk are a religious thing to Luna Cookiethululu is not pleased There is a part two to this
It's not what it looks like, Lulu!It's not what it looks like, Lulu! "Oh, mon cheri," the handsome stallion murmured, holding a beautiful mare in his arms, "I have long loved you at first sight, but circumstance forces me to leave..." A gasp left the mare's mouth, and she sobbed into the stallion's chest, not wanting to believe the cruel words he spoke. "Oh, non, merci! We have not had long together! Please, stay with me a little longer." She leaned in, closing the distance between the two... And then, they kissed... Celestia wrote down, smiling as she continued to write down the words for a romance that she had been writing for well over a few years now (a little while after Twilight was her student). One thing she would never admit to others was that she enjoyed a good romance novel; she could never say that she enjoyed them due to the fact that enough ponies write about romance, and unfortunately, the writings were...'Lackluster'. While some of the romance novels written were genuinely good reads that she would gobble up like many ponies did, there were also lesser quality ones that should never have had seen the light of day. She especially had a special shiver every time there was a romance novel about her; while she loved her little ponies, and often said that, some ponies often misinterpreted that, and some just so happen to publish a romance novel with her in it. I love you, my little ponies, but sometimes your affection back for me is too much! As she set her quill aside, thinking about how best to proceed onward from this chapter, there was a knock at her door. Ah! That must be the cake I ordered earlier! It's about time! "Come in!" Celestia's eagerness for cake soon turned into surprise as she saw Luna push a cart with what Celestia assumed to be her slice of cake. "Lulu! I wasn't expecting you tonight, much less with my cake!" Luna raised a brow as she pushed the cart in front of her sister. "Can I not pay my sister a visit? And the maid that was pushing the cart to your room was nearby, so I simply relieved her of it since I was going to your room anyway." Sheesh, it's not like I'm going to smash a pie in your face or anything like that. I totally don't have any pies nearby just for that. Especially not banana cream pies. Nope. "Of course you can! This is just unexpected, that's all." You're going to try something on me, aren't you? "Anyway, I hope you haven't taken any cake." ...The slice of cake is on a small, visible plate between the both of us, and I'm sure there'd be crumbs on my face. "Of course not, sister." "Excellent." Celesta levitated the plate over to her, and began to eat the slice of cake in a slow, paced manner; this was only a slice, and she needed it to last her until dinner. While Celestia was eating her snack, Luna idly began looking around her room; Twilight plushie on the bed, with a smaller, filly sized version next to it, some books (she was too far away from the bookshelves to make out their titles), a giant duck in the middle of the room, and a nearby desk. Interestingly enough, there were some scattered papers on her desk; her sister wouldn't have scattered papers hazardously like that, so obviously she was reading something troubling. Fortunately, Celestia was too busy trying to savor each bite of the cake to notice Luna, so the lunar princess walked up to the desk to examine the papers that caught her interest. What in the..?! Tia! This is unbearable! Now I know why you dislike romance novels so! Luna's curiosity turned into horror at the crudely written (and incredibly cliche) words in front of her. It was a rough draft, that much she was certain, but she could not find an envelope that showed which pony sent this despicable piece of writing to Celestia (her sister had explained to her that, having had countless years to read and critique literary works, she was often seen as a good, if overburdened and overused editor and proofreader). "Tia! Tia, Tia!" She waved her hooves wildly to add a more urgent feeling towards calling her sister's name. What is it now? "Yes, Lulu?" "Why do you have this horrid mess on your desk?! I want to find the pony that sent you such terrible writing! Nopony should have to read such drivel like this; it's even worse than the story you showed me that had us both romantically involved with each other!" ...She's at my desk, isn't she? A quick look told her everything she needed to know, and she cursed inwardly. Drat; now how do I get out of this? "Well...Nopony sent it to me, sister." Hm. I wonder...Hook. "How did you receive such horrible writing then? I mean, just listen to this!" Luna lifted up one of the pieces of paper, and after clearing her throat, began to recite part of it. "There is nothing more in life that I want, mon cheri, other than-" "Lulu, stop, please! I don't need you reading it out loud! I still need to edit my story!" Line. "Edit your story, Tia? ...I just said my story, didn't I? "Err...I mean...Um..." Sinker. "Oh my gosh, you write romantic fiction, and you've always told me you hated it!" "It's not what it looks like, Lulu!" "It's true, it's true!" Ugh... A groaning Celestia hid underneath her filly Twilight plushie as Luna continued to look through her sister's rough drafts, giving both comments and criticism that Celestia didn't need. Kill me now, Faust. Author's Note Celestia hates the romance fiction made by ponies today She wants to create her own Unfortunately it's very bad
It all worked out in the end, Tia!It all worked out in the end, Tia! "So how the heck does that happen, Chrys?!" "I don't know, but I did learn one thing; changelings like hats, and are apparently willing to fight each other for them." Celestia and Chrysalis were taking a stroll in the castle gardens, partly to enjoy the scenery. The main reason why they were here, however, was because when Cadence was asked (via letter) about how she felt about Chrysalis now, the response was not what one would expect from the alicorn of love (and tolerance). Now, Chrysalis was hiding with Celestia for company while Luna used the time to improve social relations with the Crystal Empire as well as having some fun with Cadence. Celestia, meanwhile, was taking the time to swap and exchange stories with Chrysalis, and she was learning quite a bit about changelings while keeping Chrysalis safe from getting maimed by Cadence. "Do I have to fear for the ponies that operate in the stores that sell hats?" "Yes, though only if they refuse to give up hats to my changelings." Better send out a warning to all those that come into contact with hats, then, if what Chrysalis said is true. "Alright, I'll send out a warning to those that work in the hat industry." "That's about the best thing you can do. Oh, there's a bench; can we take a moment from all this walking to sit down, Tia?" "Of course, Chrys." The two sat down on the bench, which, to its credit, only slightly sagged from the weight of the two alicorns. As Celestia looked around the castle gardens, she couldn't help but feel proud for the ponies that maintained it. The scene around them was one of peace, flowers, grass, and well maintained work from the gardening staff of the castle. Truly, a work of art that continued to be renewed every year after winter, and was the ultimate form of art, always constantly demanding of a pony to nurture it until it bloomed. This was the work of master artists, who strived to create the perfect picture for everypony to enjoy, even if they only viewed it for a few seconds. That's why it was the perfect place (and time) for a cannonball to suddenly sink itself just a foot away from Celestia, and then explode, spraying confetti and streamers everywhere. On instinct, Chrysalis immediately reacted to the sudden threat by screaming like a little filly and clinging onto Celestia. "MOMMY, HELP!" ...No words can describe what I'm feeling right now, though I know it's somewhere between screaming bloody murder over the cannonball that landed next to me, to wanting to make fun of Chrysalis acting like a little filly, to having motherly instincts and wanting to hold her and say everything's alright. Celestia stared at Chrysalis, and was about to compromise on her thoughts by gently prying her off and offer a few teasing words of comfort when she heard a voice that should not have been heard at all today. "Uh oh! Hold on, Lulu, that sounded like a little foal in trouble!" This is bad. Real bad. "Chrysalis!" Celestia hissed, trying to shake the alicorn off her. "Stop acting like a foal and shapeshift before Cadence sees you! ...Or continue acting like a foal, and change into one!" Celestia's request, however, fell on scared, memory lane taking ears, as Chrysalis simply held onto Celestia tighter. Sighing, Celestia became increasingly aware of the incoming doom that was coming for Chrysalis, and she only hoped that Cadence would be a merciful soul. "Oh, come on, auntie, I have to see! That voice sounded familiar, anyway!" Suddenly, Cadence appeared over a hedge. "Hey, I'm sorry about th-..." Her voice quietened when she saw Chrysalis, and her concerned gaze turned hard. She began walking over to the two, with menace clearly seen in her eyes. Luna popped out over the hedge with a pot on her head, presumably as a helmet, and mouthed 'This is bad, Tia!' Celestia shot Luna a piercing glare that could penetrate the heavens, and continued to try and pry Chrysalis off her. "Cady, dear, now, it's not what it looks like..." "You're being hugged by the creature that left me down in the mines with nothing but a rubber duck for company! The duck was terrible company as well, not to mention the things she did to me! How could you, auntie Tia?!" Chrysalis stopped nuzzling into an embarrassed Celestia's coat to look fearfully at the pink alicorn before speaking softly. "It was all for a little joke I wanted to play on Tia! I treated you well! You had a duck for company, food was delivered to you every three hours like you asked, and you had a nice impromptu bed to sleep on!" Chrysalis imprisoned you with a rubber duck? I wondered where Mr.Ducky went. "She's not all that bad, Cady, honest!" "You weren't the one imprisoned, auntie Tia! It was horrible! I didn't get to see my snuggly bear Shining Armor for a few days! Who knows what could have happened to him if I let him out of my sight?!" Celestia assumed the question was directed at her, and she responded with disbelief in her voice. "Cady, Shining Armor is a grown stallion...I'm sure he isn't anything, Faust forbid, like Blueblood." By this time, Luna had joined the little group, and offered her little bit to the pile. "If it's all the same to you, Cady, Chrysalis has been obedient with all the laws made in our treaty so far. She also hasn't abducted any ponies and imprisoned them with rubber duckies! There is no reason to apprehend her for performing what could have been the best wedding prank ever." Even though Cadence was convinced that Chrysalis should be made an example of, she evidently saw that she was fighting a losing battle, as both her aunts didn't seem to budge from their decision of allowing Chrysalis to live here with her changelings. With a sigh, she accepted this, but she still wanted a very small portion of things to go her way. "Fine...I'll forgive her if she apologizes for what she has done." With a mighty grunt, Celestia managed to pry Chrysalis off. "There! Now, just apologize, Chrys, and we can move on from this, without anypony getting hurt." Chrysalis looked up at an expectant Cadence, and muttered her apology. "I'm sorry for kidnapping you without your consent." Cadence nodded, and then suddenly, her anger melted all away. "Good! If you had asked me before-hoof, I'd have agreed and allowed you to! It really would have made the best wedding prank ever!" Well, that's one crisis averted. A relieved Celestia gave a sigh, and looked up just as Luna sat down next to her. "It all worked out in the end, Tia!" "Indeed." Author's Note Don't let changelings near hats Chrysalis is jumpy and a scared filly at heart Luna and Cadence found one of Pinkie's many confiscated party cannons
I can imagine it now, Lulu!I can imagine it now, Lulu! "Tia, what is this contraption I see where ponies falling to their doom on little cars called?" "That's called a roller coaster, Lulu, and ponies aren't falling to their doom on it." "Then why are they screaming and crying as it goes down?" "They're enjoying the ride." Thanks to Chrysalis, who was (rather grudgingly) holding down the fort at the castle, the two alicorn sisters were attending a festival being held in their honor without the worry of having to return back to a mountain of paperwork. It was agreed that not all of them could go, and so, they played rock, paper, scissors, best two of of three, to see which two of them would get to participate in the festival, while the last one stayed behind. Needless to say, Chrysalis lost. Badly. I should buy her some cotton candy, at the very least; hopefully I don't eat it on the way back. Celestia kept that thought in mind as she toured the area where the festival was held, thanking the ponies that made it possible and simply enjoying her time. She rarely got to go outside the castle, so this was rather refreshing for her. On the other hoof, Luna also didn't leave the castle much, and so, she was extremely curious about everything, much to Celestia's dismay. "Caramel apples?! Tia, what have our ponies done?!" "Why are the prices on these items so high?" "Tia! I do not understand the concept of cotton candy! This is not made from cotton!" "How are other ponies expected to carry those gigantic plushies you can win, Tia?!" "Why is everything so greasy and sugary, Tia?!" The questions were varied, and could have been taken for as complaining, but Celestia admitted that it was kind of cute, watching her sister get extremely curious about even the smallest of things. However, even she was beginning to tire of her sister's (unintended) infuriating questions, so she asked Luna one of her own. "Are you having fun, Lulu?" "Yes, I am! Though, I kind of want to go on the rides, now. Let's go on that one!" Luna pointed at one of the rides that had a line that wasn't too long; it only seemed to be about a two minute wait, from what Celestia guessed. Then, she tilted her head up, and let out a sigh of exasperation as her cheeks began to suddenly feel hot; what Luna pointed at was certainly not what she expected Luna to ride. Really, Lulu? Of all things, THIS? Faust, smite me where I stand! When it became evident that Faust would not do as she said, she gave a rather hesitant answer to Luna. "The love-tunnel? Uh, Luna, why do you want to go on that?" "Well, it doesn't look as terrifying and death-defying as the other rides! Besides, we're sisters, and I love you! Don't you love me?" "...Yes, bu-" "Then it's settled. TALLY-HO!" Luna grabbed Celestia, and before her sister could protest, whisked her away to the Love-tunnel. As they arrived, ponies that were talking immediately fell silent; Luna was not disturbed by this, as it was common for ponies to suddenly go quiet whenever one that was an alicorn suddenly arrived. "Fear not, ponies! Me and my sister merely wish to ride with each other in the Love-tunnel!" Now, that got ponies whispering with each other and looking them weirdly, with ponies spreading the rumors around faster than wildfire. Luna was humming a tune while Celestia was trying to think of a way to kill Luna without getting caught for it. I swear, it's just one bad situation after another! What is this, a terribly written, sappy romance novel focusing on me and my sister? It didn't help that her gaze suddenly focused on a nearby book-stand, which was featuring books that, of course, were terribly written, sappy romance novels focusing on Celestia and Luna. ...Okay, now THAT is just an example of the universe mocking me. All too soon (for Celestia, Luna thought the wait was a bit too long), they were the next to enter the ride. The attendant there quickly ushered them onto a boat with a massive blush on her face, something that Luna found very curious indeed. Did not family members attend this ride with each other? It seemed innocent enough. "Lulu, are you sure you want to ride this...?" "Of course, Tia! Why not?" Celestia's answer to that was cut off as the ride began to start, and soon, they were able to approach the tunnel. I really, really hope I can explain this to Lulu... Her gaze was drawn to her sister, who seemed to be enjoying the boat ride. "Ah, this is very relaxing, isn't it, Tia? I enjoy this ride!" "Lulu, this ride isn't what you think it is." "Oh? Pray tell, what makes this ride not what it seems?" Well, can't back out now. "...This is a ride for 'lovers', Lulu, an-" "Well, of course we're lovers, I love you, Tia!" "It's for 'couples', Lulu! It's not 'family' or 'friend' kinds of love!" Luna was silent as she took in that information, and Celestia was worried that she might have not said the right thing. "Um, Lulu...?" "That is disgusting! Ponies actually profit off love like this?! They even had the wicked idea of disguising the fact that this is not meant for family! Why would there be a ride for lovers going down a dark tunnel?! That isn't romantic at all, Tia!" Celestia tossed away her explanation of this ride, and simply let her sister rant on and on; she only paid attention when her sister suddenly swore. "Lulu! Language!" "I'm sorry, Tia, but ponies were looking at us all funny like! They must have spread rumors about us by now!" "I can imagine it now, Lulu! There will be newsponies at the end of this tunnel, waiting to question us about our apparent relationship!" "Eww!" Celestia was right, and as the ride ended, there was a mob of ponies waiting for them, with questions and accusations being thrown at them like popcorn being popped. "...And then I hit a camera-pony in the face with their own camera, making them all back off as we flew back to the castle." Chrysalis was listening intently to the tale Celestia was telling her, and she nodded slowly, accepting the events that had happened while she was doing paperwork. "I see...Even after all that, I only have one question." "What would that be, Chrysalis?" "...Where's my cotton candy?" Author's Note Rock, paper, scissors was played by projecting images of said items via magic, not with their hooves Luna questions festivals now This was not an awkward moment for the two, really Chrysalis didn't get cotton candy
Don't drink Manticore, Tia!Don't drink Manticore, Tia! Ah! That just about wraps it up for the night court, finally! I can now retreat to my room and engage in FUN! Luna was ecstatic about her coming-soon break, as it meant she was able to leave the boring night court behind and allow herself a chance to relax in her room, with nothing bothering her except her need for food, drink, bathroom necessities, and her eventual duty of moving her moon to make way for her sister's sun. Soon, however, maybe even food and drink would be replaced, allowing her to play even more. I'm glad I found out about energy drinks! A four pack of Manticore awaits! They say that with one can you have enough energy to do anything, and with four cans, I'm sure to do four times as well when playing my games! Best idea ever! Luna hummed happily to herself as she made her way to her room, even grabbing one of her guards (who had learned to just accept whatever was sent hurtling her way, since she was powerless to do anything else) and engaged in a few twirls and dance moves that should not have been physically have been possible to have been done in armor and with an alicorn that was thinking about something else entirely and not focusing on the dancing. At the end of her sudden enthusiasm to dance, she bowed, and smiled at the guard. "Thank you for the dance, madame Elhaym!" The batpony nodded with a slight smile, having enjoyed the sudden dance. "No, thank you, Princess. Will that be all, Princess Luna?" "Indeed! You may return to your post now, Elhaym!" Luna cheerfully walked off, leaving the guard behind. The batpony returned to her post, which was located next to one of the libraries in the royal hallway. Her partner, a unicorn mare, nudged her gently with a smirk on her face. "Nice dance moves, Elly." "Oh, shut up, Avy." A faint raspberry was on the edge of Luna's hearing before she turned the corner. Here I am! Luna unlocked her mini fridge, and pulled out her chilled four-pack of Manticore. This should work! These energy drinks will keep me full of energy! After ripping the packaging slightly and pulling out one of the cold cans of Manticore, Luna gently eased a little magic on the pull-tab, careful not to force it open; she'd seen what happened to ponies when they opened up these cans the wrong way, and she didn't want that happening to her. Burning eyes caused by rupturing carbonated drinks was not a pleasant way to experience the drink. Fortunately, all was well, as she opened up the can without a massive explosion of Manticore erupting from the can. She lifted the can up to her mouth, and began the first can. Her first reaction to the taste was that it kind of a fruity Parasprite that left a really weird aftertaste in her mouth. She smacked her lips together, confused as to how a weirdly tasting drink could give her energy; she didn't feel any more energetic. Maybe I just need to drink the whole can, Luna mused as she suddenly tilted the can up and began to chug it. It took Luna roughly twelve seconds for her to finishing draining the can, after which she immediately regretted as the aftertaste kicked in full force. "What the heck do ponies put in this stuff?! It tastes like battery acid mixed with Tia's dirty socks, and then mixed with lots of artificial sweeteners! ...That's some good stuff! I must drink more!" Luna levitated another can over to her, popped the pull-tab, and began to chug on it. The process repeated itself twice, and upon the last one, Luna swore she was ready for anything. Literally anything. She even felt like she could take on her sister in a game of Twister and win! As the can slipped from her magical grasp and fell down to the floor, she could feel the magically concentrated drink work, spiking her normal energy levels colossally and causing her to shake uncontrollably. Eager to begin her game night of epic proportions, she took a step forward... ...And promptly crashed onto the floor as the surge of magic from the energy drink Manticore ran its course through her, experiencing an energy 'crash'. The last can rolled on over towards the container it was formally in, and all was silent. Unfortunately, perhaps she should have read the disclaimer on the box before she bought it due to a commercial she saw on TV. Underneath the box, a brief warning was given to those of alicorn status (stating that there was no information about what might happen if an alicorn drank one), which Luna had neglected to read. "Hey. Wake up!" "D-Don't wanna..." The voice was annoyed and insistent. "Get up you sorry, lazy excuse for an alicorn!" "Can't..." "For the love of..." The voice trailed off, and Luna groaned as she rolled over, wondering what happened after she drank her fourth Manticore; her world was full of confusion and pain, and she didn't like that. Her head felt like it was splitting itself into two, and she didn't get to play any games at all! Some game night this turned out to be. Luna's confused, sleepy state was soon turned into a world of pain and even more confusion as she felt something nip her rump. Hard. She didn't take kindly to something nipping her rump, so she yelled out, more in confusion than pain. "OW! WHAT IN TH-" Luna's voiced trailed off as she saw just who it was that bit her, and she didn't like what she saw. After all that happened to her, she really didn't want to see her of all alicorns. A part of her hoped that it was simply Chrysalis in disguise, but by the fact that she wasn't immediately grinning and crowing about how she surprised her made her think that perhaps this really was her former, dark self. "...Hello, Nightmare Moon." Surprisingly, the words were said a lot calmer than what Luna was feeling right now, which was panic, pain, and utter confusion. The fearsome looking alicorn nodded curtly before tapping the base of Luna's horn gently, which hurt. "I don't know what you did, Luna, but put me back in your head!" Huh. I thought your goal was to take over the world and make it eternal night, not getting back inside my head. A perplexed Luna tilted her head slightly, and in doing so caused her headache to increase tenfold. "Ow! Nnngh, I don't think you want back in here, Nightmare. My head hurts like an Ursa Major just played tennis with it." An annoyed Nightmare Moon groaned, and sat herself down next to Luna. "That's just great! I was safe and sound in your head, watching late night pony comedy stand-up when suddenly I'm ejected from your head!" "...I thought you wanted eternal night, not being cooped up in my head...?" Nightmare Moon's gaze softened slightly at the mentioning of eternal night. "While the night is a beautiful thing, it's no longer my goal to bring it eternally. Things...Change, Luna. You'll know what I mean if you ever get shoved in the back of somepony's mind and have nothing to do but watch bad stand-up comedians on TV." "...There's a TV in my head?" "It's too hard to explain. Don't ask." How does a TV inside my head even manage to get reception? It's thick enough to withstand getting hit by one of Tia's stop signs. "Very well then, Nightmare. However...May I ask you a different question?" Nightmare Moon hesitated before answering. "That depends on the question." "How exactly are you...Well, your own sentient being? Ow, dumb headache..." "I'm not entirely sure; I was hoping you had the answer. There I was, minding my own business, when suddenly, I felt a massive surge of energy. I, of course, thinking that you were containing energy for a quick zap on Celestia's rump or some other prank you were deciding to pull on her, decided to ignore it. However, more energy began to course within your body; so much, in fact, that it could have destroyed Canterlot if all that unfocused energy imploded on itself. I did the only thing I could, which was to absorb some of the energy within myself; after all, I certainly didn't want to be sent back to the moon for another thousand years because of you blowing up an entire city. I had contained most of the energy when you suddenly shot out a massive blast of energy; since I had most of the energy within me, I, too, was shot out from your horn in the massive blast. At least, that's my theory. That is why I am here, as well as that giant hole in your ceiling. Hey, it could have been worse, you know!" At that last part, Luna looked up at her ceiling, and sure enough, there was a gigantic hole in her ceiling, and the fact that she was the one to have caused made her very, very annoyed. "For the love of my mother, my room was just repaired after getting blasted by the laser cannon known as the Elements of Harmony! The heck was in those cans of Manticore, anyway?!" Luna grabbed one of the cans of Manticore, and looked over its contents. To her horror, the can was filled with magic sugar, which was specially processed sugar that was designed to increase a pony's innate magical power; unicorns had more powerful spells, pegasai could fly better, and earth ponies had more strength, in basic terms. That wasn't the bad part, though; it was the fact that there was so much packed into a single can! Manticore was practically liquid magic sugar! "I'm...Going to count off everything in my aching head, Nightmare. I just drank four cans worth of magic sugar, there's a hole in my ceiling, I have an intense headache and now you're your own pony, Nightmare! That's everything, right?" Nightmare Moon nodded once. "It would seem so." "What else could go wrong?!" A very poor choice of words indeed, as Celestia burst through Luna's door, shattering it into many pieces. "Sister, I heard the explosion and I...I..." Celestia trailed off as she realized that Luna was not alone, and was staring at Nightmare Moon. Her gaze flickered between the two, her confusion growing with every passing second. "Lulu...What did you do?!" "Don't drink Manticore, Tia! This might happen to you, and I have no wish to see the alicorn in the back of your head have a body of its own!" "...What?" Author's Note Luna likes to play games Manticore = Monster Parasprite = Sprite Nightmare Moon joins in on the fun! You had to see this coming, all the main characters have been alicorns so far (with the exception of Twilight) Idea requested from Zamairiac I have not tasted Monster so the description of the flavor may be off to those of you who do since I've more or less took a shot in the dark
Things got weird, Tia! (Colgate Arc)Things got weird, Tia! (Colgate Arc) I wonder how Blueblood's observations are going; from what I know so far, he hasn't gotten too much farther from what I already know, but at least he's trying and collaborating with Twilight Sparkle in her experiments. Ah...How I miss the days when those two were just both a little filly and colt, getting into trouble and fraying my nerves to the point where I accidentally set fire to my dinner and I'd have to catch them before they caused any more mischief. While I often went without dinner and an unwanted exercise routine, at least they managed to being back the spark of humor in my life that I've needed for so long! I think I also lost a few pounds chasing after them. A slightly moody Celestia was idly chewing on some peppermint gum outside her balcony as she awaited for her nephew to come upstairs to her room; he was asked earlier by Twilight via letter to travel to Ponyville to help her with a project of hers, and Blueblood eagerly agreed, as the two hadn't seen each other in quite awhile. Now, however, she was waiting for Blueblood to come upstairs to tell her of what transpired, after having felt Blueblood's personal magical signature enter the castle. Since he hadn't immediately come up to her room just yet, she guessed that he was probably bothering the kitchen staff first before coming upstairs to greet her and and tell her of what transpired during his travels. That gave her a little more time to think. It's a shame that the days of Blueblood and Twilight being silly fillies are over, but what should I have expected? They can't be little fillies or colts forever; they grow up, like all ponies do. Someday, when I'm looking at Twilight Sparkle, Blueblood or any other pony years from now, when they are old, frail ponies, I'm going to feel small and humble before them, simply because of the fact that they can age, and have to live with the fact that they may pass away. I have knowledge of things that many would do almost anything for, have seen and learnt so much, and yet, despite all that, it's nothing compared to the wonderful curse that my ponies have; they have to life with the fact that they cannot learn everything, and must struggle to learn the things that are the most important to them. I? Since I can learn everything and anything without fear of being interrupted, I will never find what is most important to me, simply because I have too much time to learn everything, and...My position doesn't allow me to find what exactly is truly important to me. A knock on her door broke her thoughts, and she already guessed at who it was, knocking on her door, as she made sure all plans with all ponies except one were cancelled for the day. "Enter, Bluey." The door creaked open, and her guess was correct, as Blueblood stepped into her room. She barely recognized him, though, since his fur was singed and he looked like he had been in a very dangerous situation indeed. He also had a bagel (she assumed it to be toasted) with cream cheese. "Bluey! What the heck happened to you?!" Unfortunately, Blueblood picked one of her chairs to sit down on, causing Celestia to wince at how messy her chair was getting with soot. He took a moment to munch on his bagel before replying to her. "Things got weird, Tia! I can tell you that what happened was also not of my own fault, I promise that! Truth be told, it could have gotten much, much worse, had the situation gone slightly differently." That doesn't answer my question at all, stop being so vague! Even though it is a rather popular belief that I can read minds, I really can't. It'd probably go something like, Luna, stop thinking about Moon pies! Applejack, stop thinking about apples! Twilight, stop thinking about books! "Bluey, please, don't avoid the issue, I need to know if ponies got hurt or not." "Very well, Tia; keep in mind, though, that I obviously am not the most observant stallion, so you may wish to ask Twilight Sparkle about things that I myself cannot answer well. There were no ponies hurt in the explosion, other than Twilight crying that half her home just blew up, though oddly, she seemed to perk right up once she remembered that her bookshelves and the books within them were completely safe from all manners of hazards." It's just like Twilight to put massive amounts of protection onto a few bookshelves rather than her actual home. "I...See. Before...You begin your side of the tale, tell me, just how bad did things get?" "Pinkie Pie bad." Blueblood munched on his bagel, giving Celestia a moment to think. Oh my. This should...Be rather interesting to hear. I'm not sure if I want to know why things turned out like...'This', but I have to find out. Celestia made herself comfortable before nodding at Blueblood. "...Continue." "Hey, Bluey!" The stallion found himself being hugged by Twilight Sparkle, and he eagerly returned it, laughing as he was reunited with his foalhood friend for the first time in a long while. "Sparky! It's been so long!" Twilight pulled away from the hug, smiling widely as she held the door open for him. "It has! We really should spend some more time with each other; it's just too bad that we're on business for Canterlot today." "Indeed. Erm..." Blueblood scanned the town square for a moment, then quickly stepped inside of Twilight Sparkle's library. "If you find Miss Rarity, can you please apologize to her for my behavior at the Gala? I assumed she was one of the typical nobles who wished to try and get on my good side for favors from me and by extension, auntie Tia. I didn't think she was actually interested in me as, well, a pony, rather than a stepping stone." "I'll keep your apology in mind, though I'm not sure how she'll take the news." A new voice from within the library called out, from what Blueblood presumed to be the kitchen. A blue unicorn that oddly reminded Blueblood of toothpaste was inside there, making what looked like to be a pretzel. "Hey, Twilight, who's that? A special pony, eh?" Twilight rolled her eyes at her before turning around to Blueblood. "This is Colgate, who's been a great help in my project! Colgate, this is Prince Blueblood, but I just call him Bluey!" Blueblood looked unicorn who had suddenly appeared in front of him, who had twinkling eyes filled with mischief and an outstretched hoof, which Blueblood accepted. "Pleasure to meet you, Colgate!" Colgate seemed to speak with a light, musical voice that easily washed over Blueblood's ears and was rather pleasant to listen to. "The pleasure is all mine, Blueblood!" I really should think about changing my name, it sounds so...Weird. "Please, call me Bluey, like Sparky here." "Does this mean I can call Twilight 'Sparky', then?" Colgate grinned cheekily at Twilight, who nodded with a smile. "Awesome! Nickname basis for all of us!" Your real name isn't Colgate? Blueblood was feeling confusion setting in. "Hmm? Colgate is your nickname?" Twilight Sparkle nodded. "Nopony knows her actual name, but we respect that; she just asked to be called Colgate, and it sort of stuck as her actual name." That is highly unusual, but I won't press the issue. "Very well, then! So, Twilight, you said you needed help?" "Mhm!" Twilight Sparkle began walking over to a door, which led to her underground laboratory. Blueblood and Colgate followed her down, being careful with every step they took, as neither wanted to end up sprawled in a pile at the bottom of the stairs. "I have a series of compounds and materials that need to be precisely added in at the right time, and it's going to be far easier to perform this with multiple unicorns administering the compounds rather then one unicorn doing it all at once." Blueblood nodded slowly, accepting the task given to him. Seems easy enough and won't cause explosions like her previous experiments. "That doesn't seem too hard, Sparky. What are we combining anyway?" "Oh, just various explosive compounds, nicknamed 'pop-rocks', that may or may not blow my library sky-high, to be combined with a catalyst, nicknamed 'cola'! I have complete faith that you two will do just fine!" Blueblood couldn't help but exchange a worried glance with Colgate, who seemed to share his worry. "Blueblood, you are going to be stationed over here, with the reactant 'pop-rocks'. Colgate, you'll be right next to him, pouring in this 'cola' to see what effect it'll have on the 'pop-rocks'. I'll be over here with a notepad, recording the results of this experiment." ...I can't help but think that something bad is going to happen, and I got the short stick. "Err...Well, just a moment, Sparky, we do need to put on a few lab coats in case this stuff has a violent reaction." "Oh, good idea!" Twilight turned around to walk over to her closet, where she kept her lab coats, only to see Pinkie Pie (clad in a lab coat and goggles), holding out three of those coats already, with a set of goggles to go with them. "Here you go, Sparky! Three coats and goggles, all ready for your super duper experiment!" "...Thanks, Pinkie." Twilight grabbed the coats, and handed them off to Blueblood and Colgate, the former of which was absolutely confused. I didn't notice an earth pony accompanying us down into Twilight's lab. "Where di-" "Don't," Colgate said flatly. "Pinkie Pie is random, and that's all you need to know." "...Right." "So!" Twilight exclaimed happily, with her lab coat and goggles on, "Are we ready to go?!" With a nod, Blueblood prepared to wait for Colgate to pour her experimental 'cola' into his experimental 'pop-rocks', and he prayed that things didn't go wrong. Hmm...Colgate. The name rings a bell, though I can't remember why... Curious, Celestia pressed her nephew on. "So, what happened next?" "Things went wrong." Author's Note Moody Celestia Blueblood and Twilight interaction This is a little side-story of sorts involving Colgate over a few chapters that will be marked differently from other chapters
That's my pocky, Lulu!That's my pocky, Lulu! I hear munching. Must be Moonie. What she's munching on this time, and how much of it, however, is the question that I must find the answer to, because I really need her to stop eating so much junk food. After the noodle incident, Luna was wary of Nightmare Moon and her junk food. While alicorns liked the ease and deliciousness of junk food, even they, like normal ponies, must eat things in moderation. Of course this is a very loose rule for them, and they often go on junk food binges, but the concept is the same. Unfortunately, Nightmare Moon was eating junk food near constantly the past week, ranging from fried snacks, noodles, and other such convenience foods, and had even taken a few bits from the other alicorns to fuel her junk food addiction. Luna was determined to stop Nightmare Moon, and so, she walked towards the sound of the munching. Munch. Munch. Munch. Hopefully, I can stop that repetitive sound, because I don't want you to get fat, or worse, become like Tia. The munching slowly grew louder, eventually leading Luna over to Nightmare Moon's door to her room. My Nightmare Moon tracker senses that Moonie is in her room. I...Why do I even have this thing, anyway? Luna took a moment to stare at the overly complicated gizmo that was given to her by Pinkie Pie (the events of that day confused her to no end, but at least she got free stuff) before shrugging, and pushing open Nightmare Moon's door. "Moonie, I-" Boxes. Boxes. So. Many. Boxes. The words that Luna were about to say died in her throat as her eyes scanned around Nightmare Moon's room, utterly bewildered by the sheer amount of boxes everywhere. Is this what box heaven looks like? I feel sorry for all the boxes that I've accidentally crushed when me and Tia played cardboard box wars together. Her musing was cut short by Nightmare Moon, who, of course, knew why Luna was here. "No, Lulu! Stay away from me! What you're looking at is my domain! That's my pocky, Lulu! I will respect your obsession with marshmallows in hot chocolate if you respect my obsession with pocky!" ...Oh, sure, bringing up that incident in an attempt to make me feel bad to leave you alone. That's not going to work even if it now has me feeling guilty about what I did! "I care not about your domain, I'm concerned about your health, Moonie! Don't you see that what you've been eating recently is unhealthy?!" Hmph! My eating habits concern you?! I do admit I've taken a liking to the food of the unhealthy variety, but that doesn't mean you should foalsit me! Nightmare Moon sighed, and opened up another box of pocky, causing Luna to groan in despair. Ignoring her, Nightmare Moon levitated a pocky stick out from the box, and stuck it in her mouth. "Pocky!" I think I'm out of my league here. Still...Doesn't mean I can't stop trying. After a little bit searching around the room, Luna managed to find a place to sit that was covered in pocky boxes (and normal boxes), so she then sat down there, still unable to comprehend why there were so many boxes of pocky in Nightmare Moon's room. "Erm...Just so I'm on the right page with you, Moonie, all these boxes are of pocky?" Nightmare Moon nodded, taking a moment to eat the stick in her mouth first. "Yes! All five-hundred large cardboard boxes you see used to hold one-hundred boxes of pocky in different flavours, and I'm glad I used my budget to buy them! They were on sale!" ...One-hundred boxes of pocky...? Geez. "...You keep mentioning this 'pocky'. Is it that little stick thing that looks like its been dipped in something?" With a nod, Nightmare Moon passed over a box of the strange candy to Luna, who, after looking at the packaging of 'Almond Crush Pocky', opened the box up. "Fair warning, Lulu, once you try this stuff, you can't stop. The temptations to eat pocky are very, very strong, and even I could not resist." You exaggerate so badly, Moonie, it's not even funny. This is what appears to be a bread-stick dipped in chocolate and almonds, how could this possibly be so addicting that it would cause you to buy a hundred boxes of these things? Luna tore open the plastic packaging that held the sticks, and then levitated one up, taking a long look at the stick, which seemed a little less impressive than what was displayed as the cover-art on the box (it also happened to be in the almond-crush flavour). Shrugging off the appearance, Luna stuck the chocolatey-almond end into her mouth, and began munching on the stick. "Mm...Not really sure what you mean, Moonie..." A smug looking Nightmare Moon brought out another pocky stick, and stuck it inside her mouth. "That's what I said, too; just try to stop eating it after one stick." Confused, Luna continued munching the almond-crush flavoured stick until it was now in her belly. "Erm...Okay. I consumed the stick; it was a decent snack, but nothing worth mentioning. What happens now?" "As I said, try to stop eating, and set the box aside, on that table." Puzzled, Luna looked over at a table near her, and then attempted to do as Moonie asked. She was about to drop the box of pocky onto the table when she had the sudden need to eat another one of the pocky sticks. I suppose another one wouldn't hurt. Luna pulled out another pocky stick, and once again tried to set the box of pocky down. The same need to continue eating pocky came back, and Luna looked up at Nightmare Moon with bewilderment in her eyes. "M-Moonie, I can't stop eating p-pocky! What is this terrible thing I've eaten?!" "I know not what it is, Lulu, but it's sure yummy and makes you want to eat more of them." With a grin, Nightmare Moon took the box of pocky away from Luna, causing her to whine loudly. "Mooooooooonie!" She attempted to reach for the box, though Nightmare Moon kept it well away from her. "Oh, no, Lulu, I bought this box of pocky, and I'm going to enjoy it, right in front of you!" Sighing, Luna sat down on her rump, looking up at Nightmare Moon with watery eyes. "Isn't...There something I can do for it?! I must satisfy this sudden craving for pocky! I kind of want to torture Lulu some more; she looks cute when she's sad. However, there is one thing I've always wanted to try. Nightmare Moon thought about the task that she was about to offer Luna, and then decided that she may as well go with it, if only to see if she would actually follow through. "I'll give you the box of pocky, on one condition..." Excited at the prospect of getting the box back, Luna immediately stood at attention. "What is it, what is it?!" "A pocky kiss. You game?" Author's Note Pocky! Luna gives in to the temptation of pocky, but will she go for the pocky kiss?! I actually recently bought quite a few boxes of pocky, yum yum
