Don't Just Do Something

ACT ONE

               INT. LIBRARY - DAY

               APPLE BLOOM, SCOOTALOO, and SWEETIE BELLE SHELVE BOOKS, under

               the only semi-watchful eye of SPIKE, who is reclining on a

               pillow eating a muffin.  Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle work

               quickly, the one flying and the other magically levitating

               books, while Apple Bloom rears up on her hind legs,

               struggling to reach the third shelf.

                                   SPIKE

                             (to Scootaloo & S.B.)

                         Great work, guys.

                             (to Apple Bloom)

                         Apple Bloom!  You'll never get your

                         cutie mark at that rate.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         But I can't reach!

                                   SPIKE

                         Then use the ladder!

               Apple Bloom noses the sliding library ladder over to where

               she wants it to be, then eyes it dubiously.  She picks up a

               book in her mouth and tries to CLIMB it, but due to a lack of

               opposable thumbs, FALLS OFF and lands on her back just as

               TWILIGHT SPARKLE walks in the door.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         What's going on here?

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         Spike's giving us another chance to

                         try for our librarying cutie marks!

                                   SPIKE

                         Everypony deserves a second chance.

                         Turns out all they needed was a

                         little expert guidance.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Spike's letting you shelf books?

                                   APPLE BLOOM (STANDING UP)

                         Well, he did after we gave him two

                         muffins and one of Grannie's apple

                         pies.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Spike.  Give the girls their muffins.

                                   SPIKE

                             (licking his lips)

                         ... Too late.  Anyway, I think

                         they're doing a great job.  Not as

                         good as I could, of course.  Hey,

                         maybe they'll get cutie marks of

                         me!  How cool would that be?

               Scootaloo spits out the book she had in her mouth while

               Sweetie Belle lets one drop to the floor.  All three fillies

               worriedly inspect their flanks.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Girls, thanks for your help.  If

                         you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk

                         with Spike.  Alone.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         But what about our cutie marks?

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         Come on, guys.  Back to the

                         clubhouse.

               The three fillies say their goodbyes and head for the door.

                                   SPIKE

                         But there's so many more chores to

                         do!

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Then you'd better get started.

                                   SPIKE

                         Aww.  I was just trying to help.

               EXT. CLUBHOUSE - DAY

               Scootaloo leaves her scooter on the ground and flies up to

               the walkway, then in through an open window.  SB walks up the

               gangway and opens the door magically, which swings shut

               behind her.  AB pulls the door open with her teeth, backing

               up as it opens, so she is trapped behind it on the walkway.

               She lets it go, then tries again, backing down the gangway,

               but loses her grip on the knob as she descends.  Scootaloo

               pokes her head out, holding the door open.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         What's keeping you?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         It's this stupid door.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         I know, right?  That's why I use

                         the window.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         I can't use the window!

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         Aw, come on, don't cry.  Here.

               Scootaloo turns around and kicks the door off its hinges.  It

               nearly hits Apple Bloom before falling offscreen.

                                   SCOOTALOO (CONT'D)

                         Problem solved.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Y'almost hit me, Scoot!

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         Put the hinges on the inside next time.

               Apple Bloom enters the clubhouse.

               INT. CLUBHOUSE

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         We tried being time travellers,

                         fashionistas, and librarians.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         I couldn't do any of those things!

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         None of us could.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         I couldn't even pick up the needle

                         and thread at the same time.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         Why don't you pick our next

                         crusade, Apple Bloom?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         I know!  It's apple-bucking season.

                         Let's try that!

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         Great idea!  You're sure to get a

                         cutie mark!

               EXT. APPLE ORCHARD - DAY

               Apple Bloom, standing by a tree, KICKS it repeatedly, each

               time shaking a few apples loose, which FALL to the ground

               near a bucket.  She gathers them one-by-one and puts them

               into the bucket until it is half-full.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         It's all in the kick, girls.

                         You'll get the...

               ANGLE ON - SWEETIE BELLE AND SCOOTALOO

               Sweetie Belle rapidly LEVITATES apples directly off the tree

               and into her bucket; Scootaloo FLIES from branch to branch,

               plucking apples and TOSSING them directly into her bucket.

               Both buckets are overfull.

               ANGLE ON - APPLE BLOOM

                                   APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D)

                         ... hang of it?

               INT. APPLE FAMILY HOUSE

               GRANNY SMITH is bringing plates of food to a table where BIG

               MACINTOSH and APPLEJACK are already waiting as Apple Bloom

               walks in, head downcast.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Why the long face, sis?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         It's not fair!  Scootaloo has

                         wings, and Sweetie Belle has magic,

                         and I got nothin'.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         'Scuze me?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Well... You're the best athlete in

                         Ponyville.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Only so's I can keep Rainbow Dash

                         in line.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         And Big MacIntosh is the biggest,

                         strongest pony around these parts.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Nope.  There's a palace guard who's

                         bigger.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         He's bigger, and he's a unicorn?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Yup.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         That ain't fair!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                             (thinks it over)

                         Guess not.

               Granny Smith trots up behind Apple Bloom, reaches over her,

               and eats everything on her plate in one gulp.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Granny!  You stole my lunch!

                                   GRANNY SMITH

                         En I cooked it!  So that's fair.

                         Heh-heh-heh!

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Listen, honey.  I don't know

                         nothin' 'bout fair.  Do good work,

                         be a good friend, live a good life.

                             (teasingly)

                         As long as they ain't better than

                         you at apple bucking, you got

                         nothing to worry about!

               Apple Bloom looks away shamefacedly.

                                   APPLEJACK (CONT'D)

                         What - you ashamed of being a

                         farmer?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         No.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         So first being an earth pony ain't

                         good enough for you, now being a

                         farmer ain't good enough for you?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         No!  It's just...  I don't want

                         talk about it.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Oh, we're going to talk about it.

               EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY

               Applejack, TWILIGHT SPARKLE, SPIKE, RARITY, PINKIE PIE, and

               RAINBOW DASH are walking through town.  Applejack, in the

               same pose, is speaking as if continuing the same sentence.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         My own sister thinks it ain't fair

                         that she's an earth pony.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Poor thing.  I guess I take my

                         magic for granted.  I don't know

                         how I'd stand being without it!

                                   APPLEJACK

                             (halting)

                         Oh, so you don't know how you could

                         stand being a poor little earth pony?

                                   TWILIGHT

                         I didn't mean that!  I meant...

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         I think she meant that she couldn't

                         stand being a poor little earth

                         pony or a poor little pegasus pony!

                             (eyes narrow at Twilight)

                         Hey!  Whatd'ya mean you couldn't

                         stand being a poor little earth

                         pony or a poor little pegasus pony!

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         Well, I don't know how anypony can

                         stand not having wings.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         You think pegasus ponies are better

                         than other ponies?

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         Not better.  Just more awesome.

                         Not everypony can be a pegasus -

                         just like not every pegasus can be

                         me!  We can't all be at the top of

                         the food chain.

                                   SPIKE

                         I just feel sorry for everybody who

                         isn't a dragon.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         Top of the food chain?  You mean

                         pegasus ponies eat other ponies?

               Ponies on the street stop what they're doing to watch.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                             (to Spike)

                         You think being a dragon is more

                         awesome than being a pegasus?

                                   SPIKE

                         I dunno, Dashie.  Ask me again in a

                         hundred years.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Spike!  Bad dragon!  Pinkie, calm

                         down.  That's not even possible.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         Not without... magic!

                                   RARITY

                         Pinkie, dear.  Surely you don't

                         mean to suggest that pegasus ponies

                         and unicorns are in a secret

                         conspiracy against earth ponies?

                                   PINKIE PIE

Pegasus ponies and unicorns are in

a secret conspiracy against earth

ponies?!

               The watching ponies gape in astonishment, then begin talking

               among themselves.

                                   RARITY

                         Pinkie.  Ponies are looking.

                             (pulls a mirror from her

                              pannier and checks her

                              mane, then smiles)

                         You should at least warn me before

                         attracting their attention.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         We earth ponies do just fine with

                         the four hooves God gave us!

                                   RARITY

                         Oh, you do amazingly well!  I have

                         always wondered how you handle the

                         ingredients for your baking, but...

                         honestly, I didn't want to ask.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Well, I'm glad we cleared the air

                         about that.  Good to know how my

                         friends feel about me.  If you'll

                         excuse me, I'm gonna go spend at

                         least part of the day with somepony

                         who respects me.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         Fine!

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         Me too!

                             (thinks)

                         This is gonna be hard.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Girls, please!  Let's talk this

                         over... somewhere private.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         I'm sorry, I'm an earth pony.  I

                         only talk when there's something to

                         be said, not because I like the

                         sound of my voice.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         I don't especially like the sound

                         of my voice... It's a little bit

                         nasal... Wait!

               Applejack, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash all head offstage in

               different directions, angry.

               INT. PONYVILLE BAR

               Applejack and some earth ponies, talking over mugs of cider.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         I never knew unicorns thought like

                         that.

               ON A CLOUD - DAY (DUSK)

               Rainbow Dash is surrounded by other pegasi.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         And she was angry at me!

               INT. PONYVILLE DANCE CLUB

               Pinkie is heads-together with several earth-pony mares,

               eyeing the unicorn DJ suspiciously.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         And then they eat them!

                                                              TIME CUT:

               INT. LIBRARY - DAY

               Twilight and Spike head downstairs together.

                                   TWILIGHT

                             (to Spike)

                         It didn't sound so bad inside my head.

                                   SPIKE

                         Do you think they're still mad?

                                   TWILIGHT

                         It's a new day, Spike.

                             (opens the door)

                         I'm sure everyone has forgotten all

                         about it.

                             (steps outside)

               EXT. LIBRARY - DAY

               An angry crowd of earth ponies mills about between Twilight's

               tree and the rest of the town, bearing placards that say ALL

               YOU NEED IS HOOVES, UNICORNS GO HOME, and I'M NOT TASTY.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Or not.

END OF ACT ONE

Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.