Don't Just Do Something

by Shagbark

Act III

Previous Chapter

ACT III

EXT. PONYVILLE - CENTER OF TOWN - DAY

Applejack is among the crowd of townsponies. Rainbow Dash

can be seen flying circles up above. Rarity, ARNIE, and

HEARTSTRINGS are among those sitting. Spike rushes towards

Rarity. Twilight follows.

TWILIGHT

Rarity! What's going on?

RARITY

I'm not sure. Something about

carrots.

SPIKE

You're getting all dusty!

RARITY

We all must make sacrifices

sometimes.

SPIKE

For carrots?

RARITY

For carrots.

PINKIE PIE

(popping up before Rarity)

And babies!

TWILIGHT

Can't you see the townsponies are

angry? Whatever you're doing is

only making it worse!

RARITY

My heart bleeds for them.

PINKIE PIE

(popping up farther away)

It's a sitting party! We're going

to sit still until we all get

carrots and the Cakes bring the

babies back and make cupcakes!

(pops up somewhere else)

Oh, I'm no good at this at all!

Some TOWNSPONIES notice Twilight.

TOWNSPONY #1

There's that mare from Canterlot!

She must be behind this!

Twilight and Rarity both turn to see who's talking.

TOWNSPONY #2

Look out for her horn!

Twilight backs up, alarmed, as a cluster of ponies approach

her. Her eyes and horn begin to glow white.

RARITY

Twilight Sparkle! Sit down!

Twilight sits down with a thump. The glow fades. The MAYOR

enters the scene, and heads straight for Twilight, who is

sitting prominently at the edge of the group.

MAYOR

Miss Sparkle... What is the

meaning of this?

TWILIGHT

(dazed)

Carrots.

RARITY

Carrots.

MAYOR

Can anypony tell me

what's going on here?

Hardly anyone can hear her above the noise of the crowd.

APPLEJACK

(stepping forward)

Lemme give you a hand, Mayor.

SOOOO-EEEEE!

The crowd hushes at Applejack's hog-call. A few HOGS rush in

and join the crowd at its edges.

MAYOR

Thank you. Now... Everypony sit

down.

Everyone except the mayor eventually sits. Rainbow Dash sits

on a roof.

TOWNSPONY #2 (O.S.)

It is kinda calming.

MAYOR

Somepony tell me what's going on!

SOMEPONY #1

Arnie was here when I got here.

ARNIE

I saw Heartstrings here, sitting

in front of some big angry ponies,

What was I gonna do, trot by and

admit she's got more guts than me?

HEARTSTRINGS

Someponies were making me feel

unwelcome here. And I wanted to go

home and hide. Big MacIntosh was

just sitting there, not budging.

And I thought: I can do that too.

Because Ponyville is my home.

Silence.

HOG #1

So... no slop?

MAYOR

Big MacIntosh?

BIG MACINTOSH

Yup?

MAYOR

Why did you sit down?

BIG MACINTOSH

I was angry.

RAINBOW DASH

That makes no sense at all!

BIG MACINTOSH

You can't kick when you're sitting.

Some of the townsponies edge back a little.

MAYOR

What were you so angry about?

BIG MACINTOSH

Nopony would sell Miss Fluttershy a

carrot, because she's a pegasus.

MAYOR

That's absurd.

FARMER HAYSEED

(stepping forward)

Tain't neither.

MAYOR

What?

FARMER HAYSEED

I been farming nigh on forty years.

I ain't never flown nor done

nothin' magical. But I worked

hard, and I won't stand to be

looked down on because of it.

(glares at Rainbow Dash)

I heard what some-a them pegasuses

said.

MAYOR

Mister Hayseed, you must be

mistaken. I'm sure nopony in this

town would cast aspersions on earth

ponies.

RAINBOW DASH

Well... I said some things that,

taken out of context, could be

interpreted that way. I mean,

taken out of the context of my

personal awesomeness. But I don't

look down on you! Except literally.

TWILIGHT

And I said... I said that I didn't

know how ponies could stand not

having magic.

The crowd gasps.

TWILIGHT (CONT'D)

But that's because it's part of who

I am! It's like if Rarity said she

didn't understand how people could

stand not having fashion sense. Or

if Pinkie Pie said she didn't

understand how somepony could not

eat cupcakes every day!

PINKIE PIE

That's true! I don't!

TWILIGHT

I didn't mean to insult anypony.

Farmer Hayseed, I respect your hard

work. There wouldn't even be a

Ponyville if you didn't know how to

make things grow. I don't know how

to do that. I couldn't even keep

my flowers alive without Spike.

SPIKE

Must be my purple thumb.

RAINBOW DASH

I wasn't trying to put anybody else

down. I was trying to put me up.

MAYOR

It can be hard to do one without

the other, Rainbow Dash.

RAINBOW DASH

What am I supposed to do? Stop

being awesome?

TWILIGHT

No, Rainbow! Just... appreciate

other people's awesomeness

sometimes. Like the awesome

cupcakes that Mr. and Mrs. Cake

make. Or the Apple family's

awesome apple cider that you can't

get enough of.

RAINBOW DASH

(frowning at Pinkie)

It's true. I can't. But... your

apple cider is pretty awesome,

Applejack.

FLUTTERSHY

And, Farmer Hayseed, Angel loves

your carrots better than anything

else in the world. I don't know

what I'd do if I couldn't get them

anymore.

SPIKE

(to Hayseed)

Think of the bunnies!

Applejack shakes her head in alarm at Spike. Farmer Hayseed

contemplates this, chewing his wisp of straw, staring at

Fluttershy. He stands up.

FARMER HAYSEED

I can't stand bunnies!

All the other townsponies stand up again. All the ponies

that were originally sitting stand up.

FARMER HAYSEED (CONT'D)

Them critters is always diggin' up

my carrots!

The groups face off. The crowd noise resumes, louder than

before. Suddenly, a cry stills the noise of the crowd.

Everyone looks around for the source. A LITTLE EARTH FILLY,

who had gone to stand on the highest balcony of town hall to

watch the crowd, is hanging on by two hooves beneath a broken

railing.

TOWNSPONY #3

My filly!

Dramatic balalaika music plays as the two groups merge into

one as a group of earth ponies and unicorns together rushes

to the town hall and begin building a pony pyramid under the

dangling filly. Several of the unicorns resemble the

Russians in the original scene in The Russians are Coming!

When the pyramid is halfway there, Rainbow Dash zooms by

above them and snatches the filly. Her wake blows the

pyramid over, and those ponies collapse on top of each other

in a heap to the sounds of balalaika strings snapping.

Rainbow Dash sets the filly down next to Townspony #3.

MAYOR

You see, everypony - you never know

when you'll need somepony else. We

can only get by if we all

cooperate!

RAINBOW DASH

Cooperate?

Twilight and the Mayor glare daggers at Rainbow.

RAINBOW DASH (CONT'D)

I mean, that pyramid thing you guys

did - that was looking good.

FARMER HAYSEED

I mighta been a bit rash. Yer not

such a bad fella, in a pinch.

Remind me a little of myself, when

I was a colt.

RAINBOW DASH

I'm not a...

(breaks off as the Mayor

surreptitiously kicks her)

FARMER HAYSEED

I might have some carrots left

after all. Maybe there's some

filly you'd like to share some

with, eh?

RAINBOW DASH

I'm not a... Fine. Thanks. I

would love some carrots.

The picketers drop their signs sheepishly. Everypony cheers.

EXT. LIBRARY - DAY

Twilight, Spike, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Big

MacIntosh, and the Crusaders are together outside the tree,

Spike with scroll and quill in hand.

TWILIGHT

I think we all could write a letter

to the Princess this time.

APPLE BLOOM

Can I write the letter?

TWILIGHT

Go ahead, Apple Bloom!

APPLE BLOOM

Dear Princess Celestia. How're

you? I'm fine. Do you like

apples? I like apples. That's a

good thing, what with all the

apples we got.

Spike stops writing.

APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D)

And also cupcakes. Mr. and Mrs.

Cake make the best cupcakes...

SPIKE

Ahem.

APPLE BLOOM

Sorry. This week I learned that if

you think your friends don't like

you, you should talk to them about

it, instead of other people.

PINKIE PIE

I learned that too!

APPLE BLOOM

Also, you shouldn't get all worked

up about whether things are fair

when things are still pretty fine.

PINKIE PIE

No fair! I didn't learn that!

TWILIGHT

I learned that I should think

before I talk about other people.

BIG MACINTOSH

I learned that if you're angry,

sometimes the best thing to do is

nothing.

FLUTTERSHY

And I learned that sometimes, you

should say no. Even if it's scary.

SPIKE

Enough learning! My wrists are

tired.

BIG MACINTOSH

Miss Fluttershy, if you ever need

help saying nope, I hope you'll

call on me.

FLUTTERSHY

Oh! How could I say no to that?

APPLEJACK

(to Fluttershy)

Sister, you and me are gonna have a

little talk.

(walks offstage)

FLUTTERSHY

(following AJ offstage)

Okay.

Rainbow Dash and Derpy fly by overhead, suspending Farmer

Hayseed between them in a sling.

FARMER HAYSEED

Wahoo! I'm flyin'!

THE END