Don't Just Do Something

by Shagbark

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Romance
Length: 5082

When Apple Bloom's feelings of inferiority get Ponyville up in hooves, Big Mac steps into inaction.

Is being an Earth pony good enough? Apple Bloom isn't sure. When Applejack tells her friends, Twilight offers sympathy. Wrong answer, Twilight. Can anypony clean up Twilight's mess after an argument among friends spreads to all of Ponyville? Big MacIntosh sure doesn't think he can.

This is a My Little Pony spec script, so it is intended to be show-appropriate and ready for storyboarding. Some light shipping.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-21 16:33:07 UTC

Act I

ACT ONE

               INT. LIBRARY - DAY

               APPLE BLOOM, SCOOTALOO, and SWEETIE BELLE SHELVE BOOKS, under

               the only semi-watchful eye of SPIKE, who is reclining on a

               pillow eating a muffin.  Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle work

               quickly, the one flying and the other magically levitating

               books, while Apple Bloom rears up on her hind legs,

               struggling to reach the third shelf.

                                   SPIKE

                             (to Scootaloo & S.B.)

                         Great work, guys.

                             (to Apple Bloom)

                         Apple Bloom!  You'll never get your

                         cutie mark at that rate.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         But I can't reach!

                                   SPIKE

                         Then use the ladder!

               Apple Bloom noses the sliding library ladder over to where

               she wants it to be, then eyes it dubiously.  She picks up a

               book in her mouth and tries to CLIMB it, but due to a lack of

               opposable thumbs, FALLS OFF and lands on her back just as

               TWILIGHT SPARKLE walks in the door.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         What's going on here?

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         Spike's giving us another chance to

                         try for our librarying cutie marks!

                                   SPIKE

                         Everypony deserves a second chance.

                         Turns out all they needed was a

                         little expert guidance.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Spike's letting you shelf books?

                                   APPLE BLOOM (STANDING UP)

                         Well, he did after we gave him two

                         muffins and one of Grannie's apple

                         pies.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Spike.  Give the girls their muffins.

                                   SPIKE

                             (licking his lips)

                         ... Too late.  Anyway, I think

                         they're doing a great job.  Not as

                         good as I could, of course.  Hey,

                         maybe they'll get cutie marks of

                         me!  How cool would that be?

               Scootaloo spits out the book she had in her mouth while

               Sweetie Belle lets one drop to the floor.  All three fillies

               worriedly inspect their flanks.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Girls, thanks for your help.  If

                         you wouldn't mind, I'd like to talk

                         with Spike.  Alone.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         But what about our cutie marks?

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         Come on, guys.  Back to the

                         clubhouse.

               The three fillies say their goodbyes and head for the door.

                                   SPIKE

                         But there's so many more chores to

                         do!

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Then you'd better get started.

                                   SPIKE

                         Aww.  I was just trying to help.

               EXT. CLUBHOUSE - DAY

               Scootaloo leaves her scooter on the ground and flies up to

               the walkway, then in through an open window.  SB walks up the

               gangway and opens the door magically, which swings shut

               behind her.  AB pulls the door open with her teeth, backing

               up as it opens, so she is trapped behind it on the walkway.

               She lets it go, then tries again, backing down the gangway,

               but loses her grip on the knob as she descends.  Scootaloo

               pokes her head out, holding the door open.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         What's keeping you?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         It's this stupid door.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         I know, right?  That's why I use

                         the window.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         I can't use the window!

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         Aw, come on, don't cry.  Here.

               Scootaloo turns around and kicks the door off its hinges.  It

               nearly hits Apple Bloom before falling offscreen.

                                   SCOOTALOO (CONT'D)

                         Problem solved.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Y'almost hit me, Scoot!

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         Put the hinges on the inside next time.

               Apple Bloom enters the clubhouse.

               INT. CLUBHOUSE

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         We tried being time travellers,

                         fashionistas, and librarians.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         I couldn't do any of those things!

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         None of us could.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         I couldn't even pick up the needle

                         and thread at the same time.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         Why don't you pick our next

                         crusade, Apple Bloom?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         I know!  It's apple-bucking season.

                         Let's try that!

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         Great idea!  You're sure to get a

                         cutie mark!

               EXT. APPLE ORCHARD - DAY

               Apple Bloom, standing by a tree, KICKS it repeatedly, each

               time shaking a few apples loose, which FALL to the ground

               near a bucket.  She gathers them one-by-one and puts them

               into the bucket until it is half-full.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         It's all in the kick, girls.

                         You'll get the...

               ANGLE ON - SWEETIE BELLE AND SCOOTALOO

               Sweetie Belle rapidly LEVITATES apples directly off the tree

               and into her bucket; Scootaloo FLIES from branch to branch,

               plucking apples and TOSSING them directly into her bucket.

               Both buckets are overfull.

               ANGLE ON - APPLE BLOOM

                                   APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D)

                         ... hang of it?

               INT. APPLE FAMILY HOUSE

               GRANNY SMITH is bringing plates of food to a table where BIG

               MACINTOSH and APPLEJACK are already waiting as Apple Bloom

               walks in, head downcast.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Why the long face, sis?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         It's not fair!  Scootaloo has

                         wings, and Sweetie Belle has magic,

                         and I got nothin'.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         'Scuze me?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Well... You're the best athlete in

                         Ponyville.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Only so's I can keep Rainbow Dash

                         in line.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         And Big MacIntosh is the biggest,

                         strongest pony around these parts.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Nope.  There's a palace guard who's

                         bigger.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         He's bigger, and he's a unicorn?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Yup.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         That ain't fair!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                             (thinks it over)

                         Guess not.

               Granny Smith trots up behind Apple Bloom, reaches over her,

               and eats everything on her plate in one gulp.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Granny!  You stole my lunch!

                                   GRANNY SMITH

                         En I cooked it!  So that's fair.

                         Heh-heh-heh!

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Listen, honey.  I don't know

                         nothin' 'bout fair.  Do good work,

                         be a good friend, live a good life.

                             (teasingly)

                         As long as they ain't better than

                         you at apple bucking, you got

                         nothing to worry about!

               Apple Bloom looks away shamefacedly.

                                   APPLEJACK (CONT'D)

                         What - you ashamed of being a

                         farmer?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         No.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         So first being an earth pony ain't

                         good enough for you, now being a

                         farmer ain't good enough for you?

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         No!  It's just...  I don't want

                         talk about it.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Oh, we're going to talk about it.

               EXT. PONYVILLE - DAY

               Applejack, TWILIGHT SPARKLE, SPIKE, RARITY, PINKIE PIE, and

               RAINBOW DASH are walking through town.  Applejack, in the

               same pose, is speaking as if continuing the same sentence.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         My own sister thinks it ain't fair

                         that she's an earth pony.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Poor thing.  I guess I take my

                         magic for granted.  I don't know

                         how I'd stand being without it!

                                   APPLEJACK

                             (halting)

                         Oh, so you don't know how you could

                         stand being a poor little earth pony?

                                   TWILIGHT

                         I didn't mean that!  I meant...

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         I think she meant that she couldn't

                         stand being a poor little earth

                         pony or a poor little pegasus pony!

                             (eyes narrow at Twilight)

                         Hey!  Whatd'ya mean you couldn't

                         stand being a poor little earth

                         pony or a poor little pegasus pony!

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         Well, I don't know how anypony can

                         stand not having wings.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         You think pegasus ponies are better

                         than other ponies?

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         Not better.  Just more awesome.

                         Not everypony can be a pegasus -

                         just like not every pegasus can be

                         me!  We can't all be at the top of

                         the food chain.

                                   SPIKE

                         I just feel sorry for everybody who

                         isn't a dragon.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         Top of the food chain?  You mean

                         pegasus ponies eat other ponies?

               Ponies on the street stop what they're doing to watch.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                             (to Spike)

                         You think being a dragon is more

                         awesome than being a pegasus?

                                   SPIKE

                         I dunno, Dashie.  Ask me again in a

                         hundred years.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Spike!  Bad dragon!  Pinkie, calm

                         down.  That's not even possible.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         Not without... magic!

                                   RARITY

                         Pinkie, dear.  Surely you don't

                         mean to suggest that pegasus ponies

                         and unicorns are in a secret

                         conspiracy against earth ponies?

                                   PINKIE PIE

Pegasus ponies and unicorns are in

a secret conspiracy against earth

ponies?!

               The watching ponies gape in astonishment, then begin talking

               among themselves.

                                   RARITY

                         Pinkie.  Ponies are looking.

                             (pulls a mirror from her

                              pannier and checks her

                              mane, then smiles)

                         You should at least warn me before

                         attracting their attention.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         We earth ponies do just fine with

                         the four hooves God gave us!

                                   RARITY

                         Oh, you do amazingly well!  I have

                         always wondered how you handle the

                         ingredients for your baking, but...

                         honestly, I didn't want to ask.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Well, I'm glad we cleared the air

                         about that.  Good to know how my

                         friends feel about me.  If you'll

                         excuse me, I'm gonna go spend at

                         least part of the day with somepony

                         who respects me.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         Fine!

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         Me too!

                             (thinks)

                         This is gonna be hard.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Girls, please!  Let's talk this

                         over... somewhere private.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         I'm sorry, I'm an earth pony.  I

                         only talk when there's something to

                         be said, not because I like the

                         sound of my voice.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         I don't especially like the sound

                         of my voice... It's a little bit

                         nasal... Wait!

               Applejack, Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash all head offstage in

               different directions, angry.

               INT. PONYVILLE BAR

               Applejack and some earth ponies, talking over mugs of cider.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         I never knew unicorns thought like

                         that.

               ON A CLOUD - DAY (DUSK)

               Rainbow Dash is surrounded by other pegasi.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         And she was angry at me!

               INT. PONYVILLE DANCE CLUB

               Pinkie is heads-together with several earth-pony mares,

               eyeing the unicorn DJ suspiciously.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         And then they eat them!

                                                              TIME CUT:

               INT. LIBRARY - DAY

               Twilight and Spike head downstairs together.

                                   TWILIGHT

                             (to Spike)

                         It didn't sound so bad inside my head.

                                   SPIKE

                         Do you think they're still mad?

                                   TWILIGHT

                         It's a new day, Spike.

                             (opens the door)

                         I'm sure everyone has forgotten all

                         about it.

                             (steps outside)

               EXT. LIBRARY - DAY

               An angry crowd of earth ponies mills about between Twilight's

               tree and the rest of the town, bearing placards that say ALL

               YOU NEED IS HOOVES, UNICORNS GO HOME, and I'M NOT TASTY.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Or not.

END OF ACT ONE

Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.

Act II

ACT TWO

               INT. APPLE FAMILY HOUSE - DAY

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Morning, Applejack.  I'm gonna go

                         find Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

                                   APPLEJACK

                         Why're you always playing with them

                         two?  You should get yourself some

                         earth pony friends.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                             (sadly)

                         I guess you're right.  They're

                         probably tired of me.

               EXT. APPLE FAMILY HOUSE - DAY

               Apple Bloom walks out of the house.  Big MacIntosh is

               outside, sniffing the ground.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Ground's dry.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         That's nice.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         No it ain't.  It was supposed to

                         rain last night.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         That's nice.

                             (beat)

                         If you see Scootaloo an' Sweetie

                         Belle - tell 'em - tell 'em they

                         can play with somepony else today.

                         I won't mind.

               A.B. walks O.S, still in a funk.  Big MacIntosh watches her

               go, then heads off in the opposite direction.

               EXT. ROAD TO PONYVILLE - DAY

               Big MacIntosh walks down the road towards Ponyville.

               Scootaloo scoots in the other direction, pulling Sweetie

               Belle along in her wagon.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                             (halting)

                         Big MacIntosh!  Where's Apple Bloom?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         She said you can play with somepony

                         else today.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         Not her too!

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         It's still okay if we hang out with

                         you, right?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Yup.

               Scootaloo turns the wagon around.  All three head for town.

               EXT. FLUTTERSHY'S COTTAGE - DAY

               Big MacIntosh knocks on the door with one hoof.  ANGEL rushes

               into the frame and attacks Big Mac, kicking Mac's hooves with

               his hindfeet and then biting them.  Scootaloo and Sweetie

               Belle retreat from the door.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         That tickles!

                                   FLUTTERSHY (O.S., BEHIND DOOR)

                         Please... I don't want to upset

                         anypony.  I can't help having wings.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         But Miss Fluttershy.  Your wings

                         are right purty.

               Scootaloo mimes gagging.  Fluttershy opens the top half of

               the door.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         Big MacIntosh!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Miss Fluttershy, I wondered if you

                         could round up some rain for our

                         apple trees.  The regular

                         rainponies forgot.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         I've never done that... but I'll

                         try.  Angel, be nice.

                             (to Big MacIntosh)

                         He's upset because I couldn't get

                         him his carrot today.

                             (beat)

                         Something's changed.  A lot of

                         ponies are angry.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         About there bein' no carrots?

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         Oh, there were plenty of carrots.

                         They wouldn't sell me any.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                             (beat)

                         Who wouldn't sell you a carrot?

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         Farmer Hayseed.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                             (stamps one hindleg)

                         I'll get you your carrot, Miss

                         Fluttershy.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         Oh... you don't have to do that.

               Angel jumps up on the door ledge and glares at her.

                                   FLUTTERSHY (CONT'D)

                         I mean, thank you.

               Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, & Sweetie Belle exit.

               EXT. FARMER HAYSEED'S - DAY

               Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, & S.B. approach a vegetable stand

               that appears to have been hastily barricaded.  Big MacIntosh

               knocks on a piece of fence that is serving as a door.

                                   FARMER HAYSEED (O.S., BEHIND DOOR)

                         What's the password?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Password for what?

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                         Password so I know you ain't one-a

                         them flyin' or magicin' ponies!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                             (snorts once)

                             (to Scootaloo & S.B.)

                         You kids go across the street.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                             (turning and walking away)

                         He's ashamed of us!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                             (to the door)

                         Stand back.

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                         That ain't the pass...

               In one fluid movement, Big MacIntosh spins around, plants his

               forelegs where his hindlegs were a moment ago, and smashes

               the barricade into fragments with one kick, revealing a

               startled Farmer Hayseed and racks of vegetables.

                                   FARMER HAYSEED (CONT'D)

                         What'd you do that for?!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Didn't know the password.

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                         What d'ya want?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         A carrot for Miss Fluttershy.

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                         Oh?  Well, I'm all outta carrots!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         What are those?

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                         Them carrots is been sold!

               Hayseed and B.M. glare at each other.  B.M. turns and leaves.

               TRACKING BIG MACINTOSH, SCOOTALOO, SWEETIE BELLE

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         That was cool!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         If I'd kept cool, I'd have Miss

                         Fluttershy's carrot.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         The Cakes make carrot cake.  Maybe

                         they have carrots!

               EXT. SUGARCUBE CORNER - DAY

               MR. and MRS. CAKE, with POUND CAKE & PUMPKIN CAKE in a

               stroller, are outside the bakery.  Luggage sits in the street

               next to them.  The bakery door has a CLOSED sign.

                                   MR. CAKE

                         I'm sorry, Pinkie.  Ponyville's not

                         safe for our little Cakes anymore.

                                   MRS. CAKE

                         I heard somepony said that pegasi

                         eat earth ponies.

                                   MR. CAKE

                         I heard somepony said unicorns help

                         them do it.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         I'm sure that pony didn't mean cute

                         baby ponies!

                                   MR. CAKE

                         You can't reason with people like

                         that, Pinkie.

               Big MacIntosh, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle walk up.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         Mr. & Mrs. Cake!  Have you got any

                         carrots?

                                   MR. CAKE

                         I'm sorry, kids.  I'm all out.

               Pinkie follows the Cakes offstage, still pleading.

               TRACKING BIG MACINTOSH - PONYVILLE, MAIN ST.

               Big MacIntosh takes a few steps down the street, then stops,

               realizing he doesn't know where he's going.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         I can't go back without a carrot.

               Big MacIntosh sits down in the middle of the street.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         You're attaching way too much

                         importance to this carrot.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         Scootaloo!  Sometimes you're as

                         thick as...

               DERPY HOOVES hurries on-stage, pursued by a COLT and a FILLY.

                                   FILLY AND COLT

                         Derpy derpy derpy!

               Big M. gives the colt and filly one look and they hurry off.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         Were they teasing you because

                         you're a pegasus?

                                   DERPY

                         Naw.

                             (her ears flick down)

                         They always do that.

                             (to Big MacIntosh)

                         Why're you sitting in the street?

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         He's mad because Farmer Hayseed

                         won't sell him a carrot for

                         Fluttershy because she's a pegasus!

               Scootaloo pushes with her helmet against Big Mac's side,

               trying and failing to budge him.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE (CONT'D)

                         It's so romantic!

                                   DERPY

                         You're just gonna sit there?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         A pony can sit.

                                   DERPY

                         Because Farmer Hayseed won't sell

                         carrots to pegasus ponies?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Yup.

                                   DERPY

                             (beat)

                         Will that help?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Nope.

               After a long pause, Derpy sits down beside Big MacIntosh.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH (CONT'D)

                         Go home, Derpy.

                                   DERPY

                         A pony can sit.

               Fluttershy flies on-stage, dripping wet, eyes darting about

               anxiously.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         Big MacIntosh!  I was worried...

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         I didn't get your carrot, Miss

                         Fluttershy.

               An EARTH PONY WORKER pulling a wagon of hay enters.

                                   WORKER

                         Hey!  Get outta the way!

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         I'm terribly sorry, we were just...

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Nope.

                                   DERPY

                         Nope.

                                   WORKER

                             (to Big MacIntosh)

                         What are you doin' with these

                         weirdos anyway?

               His words shock and anger Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.  They

               huddle close to Big MacIntosh and sit down as well.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         You go home, Miss Fluttershy.  All

                         of you, go home.

                                   DERPY

                         Nope.

                                   SCOOTALOO

                         Nope.

                                   SWEETIE BELLE

                         Nope.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         N... no.

               INT. LIBRARY - DAY

               Twilight puts a few more books into a pair of saddlebags she

               has on.  Spike carries a suitcase.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         It's just until things calm down.

                                   SPIKE

                         How will they calm down if all the

                         calm people leave?

                                   TWILIGHT

                         I'm irritating them just by my

                         presence, Spike.

                                   SPIKE

                         How is that new?

               Twilight and Spike exit out the front door.

               EXT. LIBRARY - DAY

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Let's stop by and check on the

                         others on our way.

                                   SPIKE

                         I think we can skip Sweet Apple

                         Acres.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         It is pretty far out of the way...

                         You think Pinkie is at Sugarcube

                         Corner?

               Walking towards the center of town, Twilight and Spike

               stumble into a surreal scene outside Sugarcube Corner:

               Ponies of all kinds sit in the street, blocking it.  Angry

               ponies on both ends of the street are shouting at them,

               including the sign-carriers.

END OF ACT I

Act III

ACT III

               EXT. PONYVILLE - CENTER OF TOWN - DAY

               Applejack is among the crowd of townsponies.  Rainbow Dash

               can be seen flying circles up above.  Rarity, ARNIE, and

               HEARTSTRINGS are among those sitting.  Spike rushes towards

               Rarity.  Twilight follows.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Rarity!  What's going on?

                                   RARITY

                         I'm not sure.  Something about

                         carrots.

                                   SPIKE

                         You're getting all dusty!

                                   RARITY

                         We all must make sacrifices

                         sometimes.

                                   SPIKE

                         For carrots?

                                   RARITY

                         For carrots.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                             (popping up before Rarity)

                         And babies!

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Can't you see the townsponies are

                         angry?  Whatever you're doing is

                         only making it worse!

                                   RARITY

                         My heart bleeds for them.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                             (popping up farther away)

                         It's a sitting party!  We're going

                         to sit still until we all get

                         carrots and the Cakes bring the

                         babies back and make cupcakes!

                             (pops up somewhere else)

                         Oh, I'm no good at this at all!

               Some TOWNSPONIES notice Twilight.

                                   TOWNSPONY #1

                         There's that mare from Canterlot!

                         She must be behind this!

               Twilight and Rarity both turn to see who's talking.

                                   TOWNSPONY #2

                         Look out for her horn!

               Twilight backs up, alarmed, as a cluster of ponies approach

               her.  Her eyes and horn begin to glow white.

                                   RARITY

Twilight Sparkle!  Sit down!

               Twilight sits down with a thump.  The glow fades.  The MAYOR

               enters the scene, and heads straight for Twilight, who is

               sitting prominently at the edge of the group.

                                   MAYOR

                         Miss Sparkle...  What is the

                         meaning of this?

                                   TWILIGHT

                             (dazed)

                         Carrots.

                                   RARITY

                         Carrots.

                                   MAYOR

                         Can anypony tell me

                         what's going on here?

               Hardly anyone can hear her above the noise of the crowd.

                                   APPLEJACK

                             (stepping forward)

                         Lemme give you a hand, Mayor.

SOOOO-EEEEE!

               The crowd hushes at Applejack's hog-call.  A few HOGS rush in

               and join the crowd at its edges.

                                   MAYOR

                         Thank you.  Now... Everypony sit

                         down.

               Everyone except the mayor eventually sits.  Rainbow Dash sits

               on a roof.

                                   TOWNSPONY #2 (O.S.)

                         It is kinda calming.

                                   MAYOR

                         Somepony tell me what's going on!

                                   SOMEPONY #1

                         Arnie was here when I got here.

                                   ARNIE

                         I saw Heartstrings here,  sitting

                         in front of some big angry ponies,

                         What was I gonna do, trot by and

                         admit she's got more guts than me?

                                   HEARTSTRINGS

                         Someponies were making me feel

                         unwelcome here.  And I wanted to go

                         home and hide.  Big MacIntosh was

                         just sitting there, not budging.

                         And I thought:  I can do that too.

                         Because Ponyville is my home.

               Silence.

                                   HOG #1

                         So... no slop?

                                   MAYOR

                         Big MacIntosh?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Yup?

                                   MAYOR

                         Why did you sit down?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         I was angry.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         That makes no sense at all!

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         You can't kick when you're sitting.

               Some of the townsponies edge back a little.

                                   MAYOR

                         What were you so angry about?

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Nopony would sell Miss Fluttershy a

                         carrot, because she's a pegasus.

                                   MAYOR

                         That's absurd.

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                             (stepping forward)

                         Tain't neither.

                                   MAYOR

                         What?

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                         I been farming nigh on forty years.

                         I ain't never flown nor done

                         nothin' magical.  But I worked

                         hard, and I won't stand to be

                         looked down on because of it.

                             (glares at Rainbow Dash)

                         I heard what some-a them pegasuses

                         said.

                                   MAYOR

                         Mister Hayseed, you must be

                         mistaken.  I'm sure nopony in this

                         town would cast aspersions on earth

                         ponies.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         Well... I said some things that,

                         taken out of context, could be

interpreted that way.  I mean,

                         taken out of the context of my

                         personal awesomeness.  But I don't

                         look down on you!  Except literally.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         And I said...  I said that I didn't

                         know how ponies could stand not

                         having magic.

               The crowd gasps.

                                   TWILIGHT (CONT'D)

                         But that's because it's part of who

                         I am!  It's like if Rarity said she

                         didn't understand how people could

                         stand not having fashion sense.  Or

                         if Pinkie Pie said she didn't

                         understand how somepony could not

                         eat cupcakes every day!

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         That's true!  I don't!

                                   TWILIGHT

                         I didn't mean to insult anypony.

                         Farmer Hayseed, I respect your hard

                         work.  There wouldn't even be a

                         Ponyville if you didn't know how to

                         make things grow.  I don't know how

                         to do that.  I couldn't even keep

                         my flowers alive without Spike.

                                   SPIKE

                         Must be my purple thumb.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         I wasn't trying to put anybody else

                         down.  I was trying to put me up.

                                   MAYOR

                         It can be hard to do one without

                         the other, Rainbow Dash.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         What am I supposed to do?  Stop

                         being awesome?

                                   TWILIGHT

                         No, Rainbow!  Just... appreciate

                         other people's awesomeness

                         sometimes.  Like the awesome

                         cupcakes that Mr. and Mrs. Cake

                         make.  Or the Apple family's

                         awesome apple cider that you can't

                         get enough of.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                             (frowning at Pinkie)

                         It's true.  I can't.  But... your

                         apple cider is pretty awesome,

                         Applejack.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         And, Farmer Hayseed, Angel loves

                         your carrots better than anything

                         else in the world.  I don't know

                         what I'd do if I couldn't get them

                         anymore.

                                   SPIKE

                             (to Hayseed)

                         Think of the bunnies!

               Applejack shakes her head in alarm at Spike.  Farmer Hayseed

               contemplates this, chewing his wisp of straw, staring at

               Fluttershy.  He stands up.

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                         I can't stand bunnies!

               All the other townsponies stand up again.  All the ponies

               that were originally sitting stand up.

                                   FARMER HAYSEED (CONT'D)

                         Them critters is always diggin' up

                         my carrots!

               The groups face off.  The crowd noise resumes, louder than

               before.  Suddenly, a cry stills the noise of the crowd.

               Everyone looks around for the source.  A LITTLE EARTH FILLY,

               who had gone to stand on the highest balcony of town hall to

               watch the crowd, is hanging on by two hooves beneath a broken

               railing.

                                   TOWNSPONY #3

                         My filly!

               Dramatic balalaika music plays as the two groups merge into

               one as a group of earth ponies and unicorns together rushes

               to the town hall and begin building a pony pyramid under the

               dangling filly.  Several of the unicorns resemble the

               Russians in the original scene in The Russians are Coming!

               When the pyramid is halfway there, Rainbow Dash zooms by

               above them and snatches the filly.  Her wake blows the

               pyramid over, and those ponies collapse on top of each other

               in a heap to the sounds of balalaika strings snapping.

               Rainbow Dash sets the filly down next to Townspony #3.

                                   MAYOR

                         You see, everypony - you never know

                         when you'll need somepony else.  We

                         can only get by if we all

                         cooperate!

                                   RAINBOW DASH

Cooperate?

               Twilight and the Mayor glare daggers at Rainbow.

                                   RAINBOW DASH (CONT'D)

                         I mean, that pyramid thing you guys

                         did - that was looking good.

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                         I mighta been a bit rash.  Yer not

                         such a bad fella, in a pinch.

                         Remind me a little of myself, when

                         I was a colt.

                                   RAINBOW DASH

                         I'm not a...

                             (breaks off as the Mayor

                              surreptitiously kicks her)

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                         I might have some carrots left

                         after all.  Maybe there's some

                         filly you'd like to share some

                         with, eh?

                                   RAINBOW DASH

I'm not a...  Fine.  Thanks.  I

                         would love some carrots.

               The picketers drop their signs sheepishly.  Everypony cheers.

               EXT. LIBRARY - DAY

               Twilight, Spike, Pinkie, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Big

               MacIntosh, and the Crusaders are together outside the tree,

               Spike with scroll and quill in hand.

                                   TWILIGHT

                         I think we all could write a letter

                         to the Princess this time.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Can I write the letter?

                                   TWILIGHT

                         Go ahead, Apple Bloom!

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Dear Princess Celestia.  How're

                         you?  I'm fine.  Do you like

                         apples?  I like apples.  That's a

                         good thing, what with all the

                         apples we got.

               Spike stops writing.

                                   APPLE BLOOM (CONT'D)

                         And also cupcakes.  Mr. and Mrs.

                         Cake make the best cupcakes...

                                   SPIKE

                         Ahem.

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Sorry.  This week I learned that if

                         you think your friends don't like

                         you, you should talk to them about

                         it, instead of other people.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         I learned that too!

                                   APPLE BLOOM

                         Also, you shouldn't get all worked

                         up about whether things are fair

                         when things are still pretty fine.

                                   PINKIE PIE

                         No fair!  I didn't learn that!

                                   TWILIGHT

                         I learned that I should think

                         before I talk about other people.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         I learned that if you're angry,

                         sometimes the best thing to do is

                         nothing.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         And I learned that sometimes, you

                         should say no.  Even if it's scary.

                                   SPIKE

                         Enough learning!  My wrists are

                         tired.

                                   BIG MACINTOSH

                         Miss Fluttershy, if you ever need

                         help saying nope, I hope you'll

                         call on me.

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                         Oh!  How could I say no to that?

                                   APPLEJACK

                             (to Fluttershy)

                         Sister, you and me are gonna have a

                         little talk.

                             (walks offstage)

                                   FLUTTERSHY

                             (following AJ offstage)

                         Okay.

               Rainbow Dash and Derpy fly by overhead, suspending Farmer

               Hayseed between them in a sling.

                                   FARMER HAYSEED

                         Wahoo!  I'm flyin'!

THE END