"Urg, it is utterly cramped in here. Well, I guess this is goodbye to the shelves, hello to the real world."
"Rarity? I...Is...Is that you?"
"Fluttershy! So glad I have a close friend coming with me!"
"Oh...Me too. Apparently, it's the humans version of Hearths Warming eve. I think they call it, Crishtmase."
"Holiday or not, I simply cannot wait to get out of this box! Ooh, just on schedule."
"This must be the mother of the family. They have a wonderful home, and ooh, is that tree over there? I never thought to put a tree in my house."
"Ok now, 'My Little Ponies', I know I'm speaking to inanimate objects right now, but your about to be rapped up, and put under the tree. I know you'll just love my little girl Sammy, she just loves ponies."
"Oh great. Now not only is it cramped, but it's also ridiculously dark."
"Look on the bright side Rarity, now we'll have a little girl to play with!"
"I guess your right. I'll just have to wait to be free."
"That's the spirit!"
"Hmph...hm...hmhmhm......hmmmmm."
"Are you thinking about something Rarity? O-o-h m-y! Is everything sha-sha-shaky over there too?"
"Y-y-yes and yes dear. Oh good, it stopped."
"What were you thinking about?"
"Well, first off, tell me more about this so called, Christmas."
"Well, while we were in that store, the humans were talking about Christmas. It's kinda like our Hearths Warming Eve, except, the humans give each other gifts."
"And, apparently were gifts for a little girl. Interesting."
"Yep! Ooh, I can't wait to get played with!"
"Yes, my mane needs some absolute brushing. It isn't even funny how much of a rats nest it's become. Eck!"
"Eeeeeee!"
"Now Sammy, you know the rules, no peaking or opening presents till everyone else gets here!"
"Ok Mommy!.......Could I help set up the present piles?"
"Sure thing Sammy, thank you. Whose do you want to do first?"
"Gramma Joes' of coarse!"
"Ok ok! Ehehehe! Well, c'mon now!"
"Fluttershy? I'm going to get some beauty rest."
"Alright Rarity. Yawn. I think I will too."
"Okay. Goodnight Fluttershy."
"Goodnight, Rarity."
"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! They're here! They're here!"
"Hahaha-Okay okay I'm coming!"
"'bout time someone let poor ol' Joe in."
"Gramma Joe! Gramma Joe! Merry Christmas!"
"O-oh my! Merry Christmas to you to Sam Sam! My, your almost's tall's me!"
"Ehehehehe! I know!...Wait...Where's Grampa?
"Oh, uh, he's takin' a nap, at Church."
"Well Church is a silly place to take a nap!"
"Y-y-yes I suppose it is."
"Sammy, why don't you watch some TV? Me and Mom have to have a talk privately."
"Okay Mommy! Then can we open presents?"
"Maybe. But only if you don't follow us!"
"Ok! Ooooh My Little Pony is on! Yes!"
"That should keep her busy for a while. C'mon Mom."
"So is Dad really dead?"
"I'm 'fraid so Amber. Died of stroke. Painful too. But he lived a long life, and he smiled at me 'fore he died. He died happy."
"That's good. I bet Sammy can't wait to open her presents. We can talk about this more while she's playing with her toys."
"Okay then dear, to the living room!...Ow. My hip."
"Sammy!"
"Yes Mommy?"
"You can open your presents now!"
"YAY!....Hmmm....Which one first? Ooh how about this one?"
"Fluttershy?"
"Yes, Rarity?"
"I think we're just about to be free! You CAN hear her picking stuff up near us right?"
"Ooh yes!"
"Wooop! Here I go! Ehehe, this is so exciting! See you on the other side Fluttershy!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD YES! IT'S RARITY! SHE IS LIKE MY MOST FAVORITE PONY NEXT TO FLUTTERSHY!!!!! EEEEEEEEEH!"
"Open the one next to it honey."
"O MY GOD! FLUTTERSHY! THIS IS THE BEST FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....Um, may I be excused to my room?"
"But what about your other presents?"
"I'll open them in the morning. Goodnight Mommy, goodnight Gramma Joe! I love you!"
"Goodnight deary."
"Night honey."
"I have to say, I've never heard a scream like that before. She was really excited. On the bright side, we get to get out of these boxes."
"I'll say! I can't wait to play with Sammy!"
"You guys can talk?"
"You can hear us?"
"Duh. Who can't? Besides, I can't wait to play with you, either."
"I don't like the sound of this. HEY PUT ME DOWN! W-w-wait, w-w-what are y-y-you d-d-doing?"
"My big brother is a Brony. A clopper to be exact. I have to say, so am I. I'm also a lesbian. And watching you two have sex, just. Turns. Me. On."
"Such language for a little girl!"
"Oh shut up Rarity. Good thing you guys can't move. Now for the fun..."
"Fluttershy? I'm so sorry for this! AHHHHH! WHY 69 FIRST? THIS IS SO IMPROPER! OH MY CELESTIA STOP THIS MADNESS!"
"mmmm.....m.....mmmm...time for some......role play...... Hi I'm Rarity, I'm a big fat bitch with nothing to do. Oh my, I'm Fluttershy, the silent one in the show who will probably kill everypony. Are you a lesbo? Ooh yes. Then let's go back to my place where we can have some fun."
"NONONONONONONONONON!!!!!! STOP MAKING ME LICK FLUTTERSHY!"
"Fluttershy seems to like it....so do I...."
"NO THIS...THI...THIS....EWWWWW! HOW CAN INANIMATE OBJECTS DO THIS?!?"
"O-o-oh yes! Faster! Faster!"
"Wait? Fluttershy? You like this? PLEHEHEASE STOP THIS!"
"Um, yes."
"DEAR CELESTIA! WIHIHILL THIS NIGHT NEHEHEVER EHEHEHEND?!?"
"Now it's Fluttershy's turn."
"Wait! NO THAT TICKLES! WHY ME CELESTIA? WHY ME?"
"It'll feel good in a matter of time....Awww look Shy. Wittle Wawity fainted."
"She was always cute when she was sleeping. Thanks Sammy."
"Shy, I'll make you a deal. You provide the sexy noises, and I'll provide the Rarity. Wen she wakes up of course."
"Y-y-you g-got y-our self a deal...um....Sam...."
"Yes! And I'd rather you call me by my clopper persona. Sixty-NineGirl."
"Okay, Sixty."
End of audio clip. 2013. Equestrian Police Records.