Hold my beer,for science.
DiscorD
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Easter Egg: I spent more time on the title than actually writing
Our story begins in a lab while there are many ponies in this particular lab most of them doing boring old lab related shit, that's really boring.
But chained to the table is a draconequss known as DickcordDiscord. " ah so Celestia wanted to see how I tick." He said.
" Correct." Replied Mad Scientist. Now mad didn't just have the name Mad because he was an insane scientist who enjoyed or touring ponies with the promise of freedom in sick and twisted events that could be described at best as illegal and at worst...probably still illegal. But he was also Mad about everything: Taxes, he shouldn't have to pay them,parking, why do I have to pay money to park, hookers, why should he pay for sex. In reality Mad was just really stingy.
" now let's taste that eye." He said, without warning he plunged in and ate the eyeball. Surprisingly blood didn't come out but rather a mariachi band that kept saying. " we are the three caballeros, we are the three caballeros..." Also toMads dismay the eyeball tasted somewhere between a whopper and raw paper.
" well." Discord said. " No mames cabron."
Since Mad didn't speak Mexican he kept digging.
This time he hacked of discards arm, and blood poured out. But the blood was maple syrup, and when Mad ate the lions paw it tasted fine until he tried to talk.
"go cách cosúil le cearc." Discord just started laughing at the gibberish spewed from his mouth.
"cad é suas le mo ghlór!" Mad tried to speak. Discord then while still chuckling slightly said.
" Teanga na hAfraice mo chuid gruaige anas, más ann léann an tarraing mo bod."
" ah my voice." Mad said tying to keep himself from crying like a little bitch. "Now lets taste that antler." But surprise fucking thing actually shoots pop corn, I know plot twist and then this pony just climbs out.
" who are you asshole." Mad said feeling a surge of manliness not normally felt because he is poorly written.
The small pony looked at him and said.
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little filly? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Solar Guard, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Grifonia, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in changeling warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire Royal Guard. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me face to face? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Equestria and your name is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, colt. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hooves. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal ofthe Solar and Lunar Guard and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable plot off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."
Mad then ran off crying cause he is a bitch like that.
After about two hours Mad was ready.
" Alright Discord it's over now, I am going straight for the family jewels."
At this Discord tensed up.
" I wouldn't." He said with a hint of fear
However his warning fell on deaf ears as Mad just chomped down on the bad boys, and out of them came.....semen. And not just a little bit of semen we are talking at least 3 maybe even four buckets worth. After the semen stopped coming( geddit).
Mad simply screamed.
" WHAT THE FUCK!"
" yeah that's the part of me that works correctly." Discord said sheepishly.
At this Mad's eye twitched he took out the scalpel and cut through Discords stomach. Cotton candy pops out but Mad is mad( get it see I'm make teh joke) he sorts through the cotton candy and finds Discords heart.
Discords heart can best be described as bundle of VHS tape rolled into a ball surrounded by gum and toilet paper. But Mad doesn't care and swallows the thing hole.
" yes it's over!" Mad says aloud
" it's not over until I say ...."
At this Mad turned around he saw something climbing out of the cotton candy remains. However when he saw who it was he was speechless
pro tip: it's Shrek
"....it's ogre."
There standing before him in all his majestic green glory was Shrek. Mad couldn't move shrek simply looked at him and used his power as ogrekin.
"meistr swydd ymyl" He said,and Mad turned into a tree.
He then clenched his fists and said.
"skit eldrivna tåg." Giving the most majestic pair of wings ever seen he crashed through the roof of the laboratory and looked at it as he said his final shout.
"þú ert töframaður." And the entire lab turned into a swamp.
" And thus m'ah time here is ogre." Said Shrek as he flew away into the sunset.
at Golden Oaks library
"Pinkie, what was Twilight smoking."
" Just some PCP, Dashie."
Languages: Irish, Swedish, Welsh, Icelandic
The end
