It always warmed your heart seeing her smile, acting bubbly and so full of life. You couldn’t say you had admired her from afar. Afar would be an understatement. You lived and worked on the opposite side of the humble little community called Ponyville from the mare. But every day, you went to Sugarcube Corner for lunch and ordered a daffodil sandwich. And once in a while, she was there too, having some sort of cupcake or donut or pastry, with one of her many friends. You couldn’t say you liked all of them. You’d watch her take a bite of one of the different pastries she had at different times. You’d glance, but blush and shy away before she could even finish her mouthful. Not that it took her very long. But you disappeared before she knew otherwise, not a trace but a half-eaten-sandwich and the kind mare that runs the place wiping down your table, giving her a warm smile.
Today hadn’t been any different, but you were to return only a while later for a party. You’d only wanted a few friends there, but, as always, everypony in town was invited, and that mean she was. She was always there, never absent to a social event, it began to make you think she planned them. At the moment, she was entertaining her pink-maned friend, who was equally as bubbly. She was the only one you didn’t mind. She seemed friendly enough, and she was the only one who always caught you glancing over toward them. She’d smirk and watch you leave; not listening to her friend, until it was brought to attention. She was different from everypony else, much like her friends and your crush. It was a rarity in this humdrum town.
In fact, your crush was a rarity too. The Rarity. And today was your chance. You repeat to yourself that you will talk to her. And you will ask her out. And you will not wimp out. But first, you needed to start a conversation. You could try the old ‘bump-into-her-and-ask-if-you-know-her’ routine, complete with flattering ‘that’s-a-shame-you-seem-like-a-pony-worth-knowing’ line. But that seemed almost too cheesy for a lady with her... attitude. Maybe something more smooth. As you racked your mind for something worthwhile, her pink-maned friend bounced up behind you.
“Hello” she cheers, catching you unaware and making you jump out of shock. You turn to come muzzle to muzzle with the pink pony, her bright blue eyes seemingly invading your personal space, if her muzzle wasn’t already. As you looked into them, you could see the flicker of life, the hint of eagerness, to talk to you. Her smile wasn’t helping you to keep calm, instead keeping you on edge to what she’d do next.
“Hello...?”
More in the tone of a question than a greeting, you got the feeling that you needed to move things along and concentrate on talking to Rarity. However, Pinkie didn’t seem to want to let it go. “Hey, you’re the one that keeps looking at Rarity at lunch. I barely ever see you around town; we really need to catch up. So how was your day? Mine was alright; I had to babysit the twins for Mr and Mrs Cake, I had to whip up a muffin tray for the mail pony…”
As she continued to ramble, you couldn’t help but see why she was so likable. Optimistic, high-spirited, quite nice looking, available to do a favour whenever. The list went on, but for now, you only though of her as annoying. “Then I threw this party! That’s the best part. Oh, and I’m catching up with you” she ended, taking a sole breath during her monologue.
“Look Pinkie. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you but... Could you please do me a favour?”
It made you stammer a little, but it wouldn’t stop you going to Rarity, to finally see if your school-yard puppy love would lead anywhere.
“Could you leave me alone for a bit? I have a lot on my mind.”
“Oh...” You didn’t want to upset her, but you did want to focus. Feeling a bit guilty to look at her, you turn away, almost missing what seemed like a glitch in her smile. It was probably nothing as it disappeared as soon as it came. “Okie Dokie Lokie!” And with that, she bounces away from you, swallowed by the crowd.
With a sigh, you are once again seemingly alone with your thoughts, proceeding to plan out a careful fail-safe strategy for talking to the white unicorn.
Just act casual, maybe? “Hello, Miss Rarity. I’m-” That’ll never work...
“How about you ask her to make something for you? You could stand around in her boutique and make small talk” came a whisper from behind you.
Or maybe be formal? “Miss Rarity Belle, How do you do? I’m-” Never. I don’t want to come across as a snob. She probably has to deal with snooty self-entitled unicorns every day.
“She really likes talking to her customers, putting a little bit of their personality into their clothing” another whisper suggested.
How about asking her to make something for me? I could wait around at the boutique and make small talk. I heard she likes talking to her customers, and putting their personalities into their clothing.
“Hey! That’s what I said!” Finally acknowledging the whispers, you turn to come face to face with the pink mare once again. Eyes shimmering, she looks happy to have helped you. You, however, didn’t return the feeling. A bit annoyed to see her again, you would have reminded her, but you were more concerned with how she just read you mind.
“How did you-”
“It’s written right here. See! Hey, look here. You get to talk to Rarity in exactly six hundred words, including this titbit.” Pinkie is looking right at you, an air of knowledge surrounding her, a piece of paper with a lot of squiggly lines written on it in her mouth. A silence creeps up as you await her to explain. She sits there and smiles while you look around. It’s a little awkward, and a few of the ponies in the immediate vicinity look around at the almost-intimate moment that was happening a foot or so away.
As if sensing the sort of discomfort you were in, later rather than sooner, she broke the silence, the paper vanishing from existence in the few seconds you weren’t looking. “So why’d you want to talk to Rarity?” For her, it may have served to lighten the tension between the two of you. Clashing with her belief, a slight blush came to your cheeks, fairly visible under your coat. Pinkie seemed to be stumped as to why there had been an involuntary colour change, but she caught on without delay after her initial confusion.
“Oooooh, you like her, don’t you?” You feel yourself go an even deeper shade of red at Pinkie’s quick piecing together of the facts, even if she didn’t have many to start with. She giggles quite loudly at your growing redness, drawing another few looks from the ponies around you before they shrugged it off. You begin to give her the evil eye. It took a second or two for it to sink in but she got the message.
You walk off, trying ever so desperately to make your grand escape from the hyper pink party pony that was following you around. Thinking a bit more, you beeline for Rarity, Pinkie bouncing out from places seemingly impossible to get to, almost all at once. You ignored her.
The last time she pops out, you are one or two feet away from your acquired target. She’s blocking off your path. She doesn’t appear to have her normal happy expression. Her pupils are dilated and her lip quivers as she almost looks into your soul, begging for forgiveness. “Please stop. I just wanted to give you some friendly advice.”
You sigh, almost defeated. You couldn’t blame the mare for trying to help you; she may not have gone about it the way you would have liked her to but it was no reason to moan at her. You sigh again, your indecision getting to you more than the mare herself. You decide to let her down gently.
“Pinkie, listen to me carefully.”
Pinkie stops looking so sad in a flash, and gains an inquisitive look. You don’t notice it much, but she also looks like she’s tearing up, mumbling to herself about reading ahead. You take a deep breath, preparing for the emotional flood that might be on its way, and unintentionally shift your gaze to the floor.
“Would you please leave me alone?”
Her floodgates hold, as she nods. But that same fault in her smile is present. You begin to wonder whether you did the right thing. Sure you were trying to talk to Rarity, but had you really needed to get away from Pinkie? She was just trying to help. As you looked up to apologise, you saw the retreating mare, seemingly gaining a darker pink, as she walked away, not in her usual bounding manner, but walking like a normal pony. You looked away as she reached the stairs, trying to forget what had just transpired, sighing.
“My, that sounded unintentionally sad. No-pony should be sad on a big day like this. What’s wrong, darling” came a voice, with an almost luxurious accent and caring tone. You looked up into sapphire blue eyes, and a smile that could warm any heart. After all, it had warmed yours up just moments ago, when you saw her talking to Pinkie.
“It’s nothing, Miss Rarity. I’m- I’m just feeling under the weather a bit lately.”
“Oh, you poor thing! Come; let us see what I can do to make you feel better.” Walking off towards a more secluded part of Sugar Cube Corner, you began to wonder what she had meant by ‘make you feel better’. Following her, you realised how big both the party and bakery was. It had taken you a little longer because you’d weaved though a sea, or at least, a fairly large lake, of ponies, but still. You’d been walking for a minute or two, constantly muttering ‘excuse me’ or ‘sorry’, to ponies wrapped up in their own conversations.
You had been too preoccupied with apologising that you walked straight into her rear end. With a soft ‘oof’ from the impact, she turned to produce a flirty smile. “Oh, so forward!” she giggled, giving a sultry wink, “I like that.”
You don’t think you could describe how you had just felt. But if you had to, the most appropriate word would be ‘flustered’. Was this just her being herself or something more?
“Miss Rarity, I-“
“Just call me Rarity, dear.” Once again giving you a heart warming smile, you gain a funny feeling in your chest. You ponder what it could be until you have a coughing fit and, by Celestia, it was a doozy. You almost suffocate, had you not gasped for air in the few pauses. By the end of it all, Rarity looks even more worried. “Are you sure you’re just under the weather? I’ve never heard or seen a healthy pony have a fit like that.”
“I-I’m fine. Really.”
A really obvious lie, without a doubt. Rarity just sighs. You can’t help but feel guilty today it seemed. First Pinkie, now Rarity. Today just didn’t want to be your day. You continued your walk and eventually found your destination. Outside. Fresh air. You took a deep breath as your followed the unicorn out the back door. You smirked a little, realising how musky it must have been inside.
Sitting down on a bench, set against the bakery, you looked to the sky, and the setting sun. It was a typical romance scene, from the many romance novels you’d read, but never had the confidence to try out. Two ponies, one bench, a sun set. You chuckled a little at the thought.
“What’s so funny darling?” Reminding yourself that you were one of those ponies, you looked to the mare and smiled. You tried to think of a one-liner you could say, much like the male leads in those novels. Your wit was lacking, so to speak. Bluntness was perhaps more of your speciality.
“Nothing important. Just how cheesy this scene is.”
You catch her glimpsing at you, quizzically, with eye brow raised. You glance from the scenic view to the pristine white pony that had now turned to look out towards the sun set too, giggling as she got the joke. “I suppose it is. But still, it’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
“You are.”
Eyes still fixed on her, apparently hypnotised by her allure, you don’t realise what you’ve said until it’s too late. She has gone as red as the sunset, whilst still maintaining her composure. You envied her for that. Rolling her head around to look at you, you look down and smile like a colt with his first crush. You wait a little for the one-liner she could probably pull out of nowhere, after another cliché moment.
“Y’know, I’ve read a lot of romance novels. They really don’t capture the charm of awkward ones, do they?” She flutters her eyelids, smiling her smile. You looked deep into the cerulean eyes that twinkled with the evening’s twilight, brought as the sun exuded the last rays of sunshine. You once again had nothing to describe it. You weren’t going to even try. It would ruin the moment.
And it was this moment you realised something. You almost wanted to be with this mare more than life itself. Almost. Something in the back of your mind kept stopping you from attaining the last pieces of enlightenment. The pure bliss the realization should have brought about was overshadowed by this nagging feeling that something was wrong, and that you were making a mistake.
Lost in your thoughts, you neglected to see Rarity lean into you, to rest her head on your shoulder. It fit perfectly. It was like you were made for each other. So why, in the name of Celestia, were you in this dilemma? She sighed in happiness, but you couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“Miss Rarity, how do you feel right now?”
“Just Rarity, darling. What do you mean?” Once again confused, she nuzzled your neck, trying to relieve some of your stress. It helped but not by much. That warm smile still adorned on her lips, its effect never wearing off. It was infectious. But this issue possessing your mind was your immunity to it. You sigh and decide to move on.
“Never mind. Let’s sit here together, relax, and hope for the b-“
About to finish that sentence, your ears perk up as you hear a distinct noise. One you were sure you’d heard somewhere before without even listening, yet different from the rest. Somehow more heart wrenching. You actually have to hold your chest in pain as you wince. A groan caused by your own chest pain was about the only noise you could make, as you almost doubled over, clutching at the point over where your heart was. Why was love never simple? Romance novels always seemed have to character know what they must do. Not in real life, here in Equestria.
You did know that you needed to do something here and now before it went any further. Your brain may not have taken in the information, but your heart had. You could hear a gentle whisper in your ear; “follow your heart, to make peace with your brain”.
What?
“What?”
“I said, ‘Can you hear me?’ ” Having tuned out Rarity while your dramatic inner monologue narrated your life, you’d ignored her pleas for you to respond. Grinning sheepishly, you look to the mare, slightly embarrassed. But once again, the idea remained implanted into your thought process, with added ‘whispers’. You close your eyes and think about it, until you can’t anymore. Nothing turns up, not hint of a solution for miles. You all but give up.
That’s when, without any input from Mr. Brain, you go with the flow, doing whatever your unconscious told you. You get up, eyes still closed, and in a clear voice, say something you didn’t want to hear come from the either of you.
“I think… I need to go.”
Your eyes opened to a composed mare, taking a deep breath. “I understand.” She smiles again, but more forced, and gets up herself. You wish it didn’t have to be this way. You wished you could have done something. You wished it didn’t sound so cliché as an inner monologue.
You turn your back to the mare, and begin your retreat. You feel yourself on the verge of tears, hoping to be as far away from ponies as possible. You walk inside, forgetting about the party, as you hear three different pitches of the same noise; a whimper. The lowest pitched belonged to you, desperate to turn back and return to the mare of your dreams, but the will to do it was just not there. The middle pitched one, the one that had aroused you from your perfect dream, with the perfect mare; it was the one that, against all odds, your heart had chosen. The highest pitch one was faint, but still noticeable. It seemed repressed. It was also the only one accompanied with a voice. “You were so sure with this one. Oh Rarity, you silly old goose, you let another slip by. When will you learn...?”
That was heartbreaking, and now, you were leaking water at an alarming rate. You could have been traced via your river of tears by any one of the number of ponies you slip by, paying you no mind. You want to get away still, not caring where you go as long as it’s away. As you drift towards the stairs, her whimper disappears, yours grows silent, but the final one grows ever stronger. You pass a few rooms, as you make you way to a bathroom.
You duck into it, locking it behind you. You take a deep breath to collect your thoughts, pondering in your moment of solitude whether you had done the right thing by following your heart. To be so close to achieving those dreams of having her for your own, only to ruin it by running off to track down an emotional howling that you weren’t even sure where, why or whom it was coming from. Had you really given Rarity up on some annoying noise? Oh Celestia, you had made such a mistake.
Quite painfully, your hoof hits your face as you groan. In turn, the whimper, the one that had led your heart astray, takes up the silence. You look up. It’s close by. You don’t want to admit it but you still feel the need to investigate, nought but a glimmer of curiosity lighting your inner flame. Hopeful, you listen again, and it has faded. You sigh deeply, disappointed and upset.
Must be my imagination...
You walk straight for the sink and turn the cold water on, after plugging the drain. The water level rises steadily as you wait for it to fill the sink. You stare as the ripples in the water fascinate you; they make you forget to turn off the water, almost making you flood the room if not for the tap being one of those timed pushy-ones rather than the turny-ones. You never got why the turny ones were so popular; they were hard to use with hooves.
You leant down and splashed your face with cold water. You gasp as cold air hits your face, as the equally cold water trickles down it, dripping back into the sink. It felt good. Surprisingly so. It was refreshing and crisp; waking you up from your apparent numbing of your senses. Your ears had been ringing. How didn’t you notice? That’s certainly not normal.
“Uhhhh...”
That... wasn’t you. That must have been the same pony that was whimpering. Perking up at this thought, you exit the bathroom immediately and listen again for the sighing. It comes a few seconds later. It definitely was close. In fact, it sounded like it was coming from the room right in front of you. You creep up to it and peer through a slight crack in the door. You see some light but nothing else, as a blue wall blocks off most of your view.
“Got to start somewhere, I guess.”
You proceed to open the door slowly. You didn’t want any pony to see you and think you were a spy, so you sneaked your way past the door and flattened yourself against the wall that had previously blocked your view. It wasn’t just sighs or whimpers, it was mumbling too.
“I hope everypony’s having fun.” You recognised the voice, but couldn’t place it to anypony’s name or face. You peered around the corner to see what you could only regard as a loney pony’s bedroom; single bed, single nightstand, single shelf, single everything. The only things that weren’t single were the pictures on the walls. Memories of happier times, probably. You could see a lavender unicorn, happily reading books. An orange earth pony, grinning as she drank some cider. Two pegasi, both smiling for the camera. Lastly, there was a picture, just as large as the others, of a white unicorn, which looked an awful lot like Rarity, smirking as she finished a blue and white dress.
Wait! That was Rarity. The others you immediately recognised as her friends from Sugar Cube Corner. The only one missing was Pinkie. Why no Pinkie? Looking for clues, you drop low and shuffle your way over to behind a bed. You peaked over the wooden frame and examined the room. You couldn’t see anything Pinkie related.
The closest thing you could see to the pink earth pony was a life-size lifeless doll, drooped over a desk, by a mirror. It had a dark pink coat and darker pink mane. The head was buried in its arms and the tail was swishing back and forth, dragging on the floor. It must have caught a breeze or something. You look for an open window, or anything that may have let in the draft in.
You were surprised to see nothing that even resembled a window. It was just one big blue room, with a solid oak door and four strong walls. So where could that have come from? As you hum a note whilst thinking, you notice for a fraction of a second a movement coming from near the desk. You glance around, watching for the creature that had made the move. You give up after a few seconds, but turn back to the doll. Your eyes widen as you get quite the shock.
It was looking at you... in the mirror. And you could have sworn it just blinked.
“Uhhhhh...”
That, in fact, was you. You continued to look into the menacing blue eyes that bore holes into you via the mirror. Your face was an image of pure fright. Should you leave? Just pretend it didn’t happen. It would make this a whole lot easier. But you couldn’t just leave, could you? Those eyes. You recognise them, but there were foreign elements you couldn't place; their hint of loneliness, a flicker of fright. You wanted to approach and comfort it but...
You couldn’t. You were too afraid. You had to bite you lip not to whimper in fright. You had to something, but what?
“Hello?”
It blinked in recognition before you even realised you said something. It was definitely alive. But with the dim light, you couldn't tell whether or not it was a mare or a stallion. You were somehow relieved to realise this meant it couldn’t identify you either.
“Are you okay? Anything I can do to help?”
No response... It just sat there and blinked again. It was a bit uncomfortable and you were starting to plan an escape route. All you needed to do was back out slowly. You started to slowly remove your back hoof from the wooden floor and set it down about half a metre back. As you shift your weight, a large groan comes from the floorboard. A groan that’s too loud to ignore. You see the doll's ears perk up at the noise, twitching around as to determine whether it was you that made the noise. That was, if it hadn't known already, since it had been staring the whole time.
You look into the eyes again and grin. A nervous sort of grin that only happens it awkward situations. Your eyes shift from it, darting around, as if to emphasise the awkwardness. It sighs and stops looking at you. It mumbles something but you ignore it, feeling free to take another step back. With no response, you take another, and another, and another. Why was it taking so long to get away from it? You took a few more steps, each with its own unique creaking, only to draw its attention again. You force a chuckle as you hear a huff.
“Well... This was fun. Got to go, bye!”
You turn to leave, grin still on your face, until it got wiped clean off. “Wait,” says a desperate voice behind you, “d-don’t leave me. Please.” You stand petrified. It spoke, and it was a mare: a high-pitched sad-sounding mare. You couldn’t just leave now. You wanted to, but you were physically frozen. Every thought of leaving turned back to the mare. And worst of all...
Your heart was telling you to go to her. Your brain was telling you ‘no’, but your heart saying yes. You were split. Why in Equestria did your heart want to stay? Your logical side was overloading your brain with worst case scenarios and reasons to leave. Your emotional side was screaming at you to turn around and do something you haven’t done in years. Run over to her and give her the biggest hug of her life. Simply put, it repeated to you that she was sad, and that sad people like comfort. Comfort makes ponies happier. You can provide comfort. So, you can make the pony happier.
You chuckle as you wonder whether that’s how Pinkie Pie works; following simple yet obvious explanations from her heart. It would definitely suit her, even if nothing about her was simple. Your mind and heart continue to discuss Pinkie Pie by themselves, as you focus on escaping. Were you right to push her away like that? She was only trying to help. She did know Rarity better than you did. She would have also been ideal to discuss a plan with. You really shouldn’t have done what you did...
You turn back to the mare, who rather than slumped in front of the mirror, now sat up straight. You couldn’t see much of a reflection but you could see now that it was indeed a mare, and that she had a genuine down trodden expression. She continued to stare off into the mirror, as you were out of her line of sight. You knew she knew you were still there, though. She sighs, and you hear a sniffle.
“W-what’s wrong?”
You catch yourself too late. Your heart was overriding everything. It really must think that there’s something going on here. Poor delusional heart. All you knew was that this situation was tense. You continue to look on at the pouty mare, who was still sniffling. You were sure she was on the verge of tears.
Your heart was now screaming for you to go to her. It was harder to ignore it and keep the balance between logic and emotion. Logic was losing. You took a few steps towards her, unconsciously drifting to her side, before catching yourself yet again. You still didn’t know why you wanted to, but on that thought, echoes once again rang in your head.
“Follow your heart, to make peace with your brain”
You sigh, defeated by your heart. You approach her, albeit still cautious. It was still a little creepy, and the silence, despite a party raging on beneath your hooves, didn’t help. You carefully watch where you put each hoof, yet each step you take causes the floorboards to creek. Her ears perk up once again, and she whimpers, startled by the sudden movement. You stay still, hoping she wouldn’t flee. As her shoulders relax, you begin to continue forward, almost into a lighter part of the room.
“I only wanted to see them together, being happy on his special day,” she sniffles, halting your progress, one step away from the light. You look up from your hooves to see the dark pink mare staring at her reflection. She was staring at her own reflection, and you could see small trickles of mascara running down her face. Her eyes were slightly puffy and red from where she’d been crying. In all honesty, she looked like a wreck, but something wouldn’t let you release her from your gaze.
Those eyes. They look somehow familiar.
“But I just pushed him away, and made him feel sad.” She began sobbing, as you watched her hide under her hooves.
You pitied the mare; sounds like she went through a bad rejection. You could relate. It must have been rough if it had caused her this much heartache. You’d been turned down before, but you’d never isolated yourself from other ponies like this. After all, it was your friends that always got you back in the game.
Maybe that's all she needs? A friend. A shoulder to cry on.
“If it’s any consolation, I know how you feeling right now.”
She sat up at that, showing interest in what you had to say. “How so?” she stuttered, wiping away some of her ruined mascara with a handkerchief, “What did you do?”
“I pushed someone away too, and it was all because I was being selfish. You see, I’ve wanted to talk to a particular mare for a while now, but I could never work up the courage. That was, until today.”
She continued to look at your reflection in the mirror, her large blue eyes fixed on you and your story. Her stare was blank and unmoving but you knew she was listening. She dabbed below her eyes, with a soft white handkerchief. She was not longer frowning, but neither was she smiling.
“Today, one of the mare’s closest friends tried to help me at the party. She was only trying to help, but I pushed her aside, thinking that I had to be the one to approach the mare. I’d gone from shy to cocky in ten seconds flat.”
She giggled a little unexpectedly, you had no idea why. You wonder whether she was laughing at you or your story. When she catches you looking confused, she smiled briefly and settled any doubts you had about her, warming your heart in the process. You smiled back, still wondering why she’d laughed.
“I was wrong to send her away. I needed all the help I could get. I see that now, but I don’t think I’ll see her again today to tell her.”
You were right though. Even if Pinkie hadn't meant it to end up like that, the problems she caused you were the ones Rarity picked up on to cheer you up.
You heard her sniffle a little, but when you look, she was smiling. Tears of joy perhaps. You smile back, causing her to blush and come out from hiding behind her unusually flat mane. She’d warmed up to you, evidently. You’d warmed up to her as well. It was a relief to break the ice and get the tension off your back. There is nothing worse than letting something like that get you saddle-sore.
Perhaps, she'd warm up to you a bit more if you dealt with whatever was making her saddle-sore. You were sure this pony she'd had the trouble was nice enough. Maybe you could be as generous as Rarity had been to you and help them work through their problems? You only had to say the words.
“Why don’t you come downstairs and have some birthday cake with me? It is a party after all. Who doesn’t like a party?”
She froze. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all. You smile to see if that would comfort her. She was still and silence: two things you didn’t want her to be doing. She was still looking at your reflection in the mirror, and you were still obscured by the darkness you stood in.
She sniffles. It took you by surprise. She sniffles again. Less of a shock this time, you sniffle too and feel a weight form in your chest, like her sadness was making you feel sad. Was it sympathy again, being able to relate to her sadness? Or was it something else? The feeling began to draw you nearer to the mare; your only thoughts being to comfort her.
As you took those steps, you went into autopilot. That weight in your chest was getting heavier as you approached. You thought about what it could be but nothing came to mind. Each step felt as though it had gone in slow motion. Your heart began thumping; you could hear it beating and you could feel your pulse throughout your body. It was amazing, yet terrifying.
You were baby steps away now. You had reached the edge of the darkness and were about to step into the light so she would finally be able to see your face in the mirror. No longer looking at the mirror, she was now staring at nothing in particular; instead she was lost in the space around her.
But you could see her eyes still. Her baby blue eyes that were like a calm ocean. They were glistening with so much life, but no sudden movements. It was calming in itself and you felt all that much better when you reached out to touch her shoulder.
Except now, after a moment's lapse of attention, it wasn’t there. Instead, you had your head buried in it from a tight and enthusiastic embrace by the mare. A swift hug was unexpected, but very pleasant and cosy. You could have been hugging a large stuffed animal and you wouldn’t know the difference. She was so soft and fuzzy and it felt right in so many ways. It was as if you belonged in this pony’s arms.
You shuffled a bit; the feel of this mare clinging on was still alien, but comfortable. You snuggled in a little too, to give yourself more space. This just made her squeeze tighter, as she grabbed onto you to prevent any escape. She was still sniffling and you could feel a damp patch on your coat forming, but you couldn’t care less.
“Please don’t leave” she whispered to you, her head placed firmly into your shoulder. You couldn’t help but smile. And as you smiled, the weight in your chest was replaced by a fluttering. A fluttering that was causing you to add a rosy tint to your cheeks. You raise your hoof to her head and begin stroking her mane.
“There, there. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll stay here as long as you like.”
You began to look into the mirror again, and into your own eyes. There was no sadness. There was no disappointment or fear. Just the same flicker of life you’d seen in the mare’s eyes. And you finally understood what it was. Hope. Hope that your heart was right. Hope that you’d avoided a mistake. Hope that this mare in your arms was no longer the reflection, no longer the sad and lonely mare that you saw in the mirror.
You began to blush a little harder as you looked to the mare in your arms and gave a little squeeze. You were happy. She gave a little squeeze back. She was happy. The sobbing faded to be replaced by whimpers. Not heart-wrenching ones, but soft ones. No longer was she crying tears of sadness, but tears of joy.
“Thank you” she sighed, giving you a bit of a squeeze. It was tight, but you shrugged it off. You remained like that for what seemed like an eternity. You close your eyes and hug. Nothing else seemed to matter to you at that moment in time. “Thank you…”
You could hear a faint inflating noise beside you, coming from the mare, but you didn’t care. You could feel a tickling under your chin as something was pulled from under it, and towards the mare, but you tried to ignore it, instead focusing on enjoying the closeness of the embrace. It was only when you hear a high pitched squeak, similar to a party horn, go off directly next to your ear that you release the hug, fall back on your haunches and clutch your ear with a hoof.
“Ow… my ear’s ringing now.”
“Oh, I’m so, so sorry. Let me help you.” You hear her quickly shuffle around to face you and then suddenly stop. You hear nothing from the mare, and begin to wonder why she’d stopped. The silence in the otherwise empty room was slightly unnerving. You looked up to see what she was doing and were tackled to the floor.
You went skidding across the wooden floor, aided by a puddle of tears. They were still warm. It was slightly uncomfortable as it created a damp patch as you were stuck to the floor, a large pink weight pressing you down. You try to roll her to one side, but her weight doesn’t shift. You groan as you try to breath, unable to fill your lungs with precious oxygen.
“Can’t…Breathe…”
You begin to feel light headed, and see squiggly lines in the corners of your eyes. You gasp to no avail, as you realise it isn’t just the weight, something is constricting you around your chest. You feel it squeezing the life out of you, and your eyes ready to pop out of their sockets. The constrictor’s grasp could rival any bear hug you had ever be given. Your eyelids flutter as you begin a slow descent into unconsciousness.
You cough and splutter as you fade, alerting your attacker to your situation. Almost immediately, you are released, and roll away onto your back, putting space between the two of you. You heave and wheeze as you restart your breathing process. You never thought air could feel so good. As you pant, you regain your awareness to your surroundings and shuffle to a more comfortable position.
Now on your front, you begin to lift yourself off of the floor, until you see a light pink hoof reach out to help you. Not one to pass up the assistance, you clutch at it as it pulls, threatening to pull you onto your face with the sheer strength. Looking at the floor, you cough a little as the last spaces in your lungs are filled.
“Oopsy, I guess I don’t know my own strength” giggled the pony in front of you. You sighed, as you dusted yourself off, passively listening to the pony who had taken the tumble with you. You take a moment to think instead. You took a deep breath as you looked up, trying to regain some composure.
“That’s oka-“
Pinkie Pie. She was the last pony you expected to be in front of you now. Never had you imagined that this bright pink mare could be so sad. It seemed obvious now; she was the only mare around with both a pink coat and pink mane. You were slightly annoyed you hadn’t realised sooner, but you weren’t thinking about that. You were thinking about Pinkie Pie.
You gave the mare a taste of her own medicine; pouncing at her with all your might, to wrap your arms around her. You definitely didn’t knock her off her hooves like she did to you, but she certainly wasn’t expecting it. She fell back, knees buckling as she went, smiling all the way. You were laughing, rekindling a youthful desire to play, and began falling on top of her. You tumbled, only thinking of what fun you could have with a friend like Pinkie.
But that was where you fell. It wasn’t just that you want to play with Pinkie. You wanted to play, with Pinkie. You wanted to be close to her, to send your heart aflutter again. You wanted to stay with Pinkie and spend time with her. It was a special feeling you wanted to cherish forever.
As you landed, Pinkie began giggling and rolling around the floor again, taking you with her. Your laughing became more prominent, as you messed around with Pinkie on the floor, rolling around, each of you trying to overpower the other to gain control. Truth was you didn’t think either of you actually wanted control; just to rolling about some more and having fun was the only thing you wanted.
You battled for a while; Pinkie gaining the upper hand a lot of the time, but you didn’t mind. Now you were both exhausted, you so more than her. You lay on your backs, staring at the ceiling. You were smiling wider than ever, unwilling to say a word to change the situation. Pinkie, however, had different ideas.
“That party has got to be in my top one hundred! No, no, no, top twenty! Top twenty! No, top five… top three?” Pinkie wobbled on her back, doing all manner of gestures as she spoke, as to further emphasise her point. You laughed too, her attitude was infectious. It was hard to believe only moments ago she had been so down.
“No! Definitely top one,” Pinkie shouted to herself. You began to grin as you realised what she meant. You rolled onto your side to face her, coming muzzle to muzzle with her. She must have been looking at you. Her bright blue eyes seemingly invading your personal space, if her muzzle wasn’t already. You couldn’t complain, you were lost in them already, seeing the flicker of life, the hint of eagerness, which made Pinkie Pie the mare she was. You couldn’t see her any other way.
All the despair that had plagued her was gone, replaced by cheerful energy. You couldn’t help but grin, knowing you had set her on the right course. You lay besides her, watching as she continued to think aloud. You couldn’t see her as a mare of many secrets but you were sure she had a few stashed away in that head of hers. You desired to peer into her thoughts, looking through the windows to her soul: her eyes. They remained fixated on you as she talked, blinking momentarily, fluttering her eyelashes.
Your heart was sent aflutter again. You could feel your face flushing with blood as you looked into Pinkie’s shimmering blue eyes. You didn’t think it possible, but you became more lost as you stared into them. Nothing else mattered in that moment. All you could think about was her. She wouldn’t get out of your head, nor did you want her too. As much as it had annoyed you once before, having Pinkie hop, skip and jump through your every thought seemed positively fun.
Maybe she’d saved you, and taught you the ways of fun. In one meeting, she’d already added some of the much needed spice your life was missing. You entertain the thought of keeping Pinkie around longer. She’d make a valuable friend, and a loyal one at that. You could imagine spending your life by her side, having fun in every single image that popped up.
Daydreaming and lost in her eyes, you notice her fluttering her lashes again. You weren’t against it, but there was definitely something behind the action. It wasn’t just normal blinking. You smile as you see her smiling too, as well as a faint blush. It seemed no pony was immune to the social blushing convention, as the two of you took turns going redder and redder, until something had to give.
“Hey, Pinkie?”
“Yeeesss?” Pinkie replied, turning her head to the side, batting her eyelids as she put on a flirty smile. It was your turn to go redder. Trying to get the thought of a flirty Pinkie out of your head, you also tried to remember what you were going to say.
“Do you want to grab some cake from downstairs with me?”
“I’d love to!” With that, Pinkie bounded to her feet and sprang off of every surface. She seemed a bit excited for cake, but you put it down to Pinkie being… well, Pinkie. You also lifted yourself to your hooves, walking towards the door with Pinkie by your side.
As you exited Pinkie’s room, you looked to her and she looked to you. You both smiled. You both knew what was about to happen. You both stop in your tracks, slowly lowering your chests to the ground, ready to spring off at a moment’s notice. You awaited a signal; any noise that could be the starting pistol. Silence ensued as you licked your lips and looked ahead, expecting the race to start at any moment n-
“Last one to the cake gets less frosting!” Pinkie screamed, already halfway to the stairs by the time she finished. You blink as you realised what had just happened and how you still hadn’t started yet.
“Hey! Wait for me!”
Author's Note
This has taken far too long. I apologise.
It's also pretty obvious where I took breaks in between writing it too.
Sad Pinkamena is my favourite version, because I have an addiction to feels. Seriously, I need help.
Jibber ruined me with Lyra's Misery and Fatal Fluttershy.
Although I do like Voids-Edge's Question Pinkamena tumblr. It's an example of a good portrayal of 'Cupcake' Pinkamena. It's funny, cartoony and a tad gory. But it's a good read and a good laugh.
For now though,
