Happy Fun Times in Equestria

I perform my daily stretches, splaying out my wings a bit to flex the muscles. I hear a whistle of admiration from somewhere, and I cast a glance behind me to see that there's a male Pegasus watching me stretch my wings, his own wings stretched out a bit in something that isn't exactly athletic.

I roll my eyes, but can't help but grin to myself as I snap my wings shut. Just love the attention...

As I straighten up, I start to head towards the weights, but I stop as I see somepony - or, rather, some human - walk into the Ponyville gym.

I smirk to myself as I wave him over. "You're late, fatass," I remark as he finishes the doughnut in his hand.

"Sue me," he remakes through a mouthful of fluff. I chuckle lightly as he starts doing his own stretches.

For the past week and a half, Peter has been doing nothing but lounging around the library. (And getting paid for it - it's his "job".) I've been trying to get him to do something physical, because I just can't stand the thought that he just sits there and does nothing all day. Twilight, I get - she's devoted her life to studying.

Fluttershy is too self-conscious to go to the gym.

Rarity...I wouldn't even ask her to go to the gym. I'd have to listen to a half hour rant about sweat.

Applejack doesn't need no stinkin' gym.

Pinkie Pie would destroy the bucking place.

And I, well...I only rest after I exercise and practice. It's part of my routine: exercise in the mornings, rest, weather pony stuff, exercise and practice, rest, exercise, sleep, repeat.

And then there's Peter. All he does is sit there.

And sit there.

And sit there.

So I finally managed to force Peter to get up off his lazy ass and come to the gym with me. And I, of course, am his personal trainer.

"Alright, let's start with seeing how much muscle you've got," I announce. He nods as he takes off his (new) sweatpants and his hoody, revealing the gym shorts and shirt that he had Rarity make for him (for fifty bits apiece.)

It's then that I actually take the time to check out his body for the first time. Besides when we first "met", I've never actually seen his arms, nor his legs. But now that I can actually take the time to appreciate it...

"Flex," I command. He nods as he flexes his muscles, and I allow myself a small smile. "Alright, you've got a good amount of muscle. That'll make this easier. Now, let me see your back - Twilight told me all about how your muscles work."

He nods again, and turns as he takes off his shirt. I hear a few ponies snicker at his nipples, and he blushes a bit as he flexes his back, especially his "trapezius".

And holy shit.

I feel myself growing a bit hot and bothered as I admire the bulk of muscle on his back. Oh, I'd just love to jump on his back, feeling his muscles work, feeling them pull, feeling his body work, feeling the most pure form of biological work, the elastic force of the muscles contracting and extending, the joules radiating off of his flesh, the-

I blink as I bring myself away from my daydreams. Seriously, I have got to deal with that fetish. It creeps even me out...

I nod as I tell him to put his shirt back on, but not without a tiny bit of regret. He turns to face me, and I immediately get some protection for his hands.

"Wrap these around your hands, then get into ring eight with me."

Peter nods, and expertly wraps the strips of cloth around his knuckles. I smirk to myself, a little blush creeping into my cheeks as I proceed to fit on some target hoof shoes.

"Looks like Dash has got a crush," I hear a familiar voice announce. I smirk to myself as I turn to face Vinyl Scratch.

Vinyl Scratch comes here to work out once in a while. She does pretty good, but not as good as I do. She can only bench press a ninety, so you can tell it's just for her to work off some steam.

"You know it," I respond with a snicker. She winks at me before returning to her thrusts, and I step into ring eight as I wait for Peter.

I smile as he approaches the ring. Without the flexibility of pony legs, he's probably just going to-

My jaw drops as he rolls right over the wires. He didn't seem strong enough to do something like that!

Well, whatever. I wanna test out his agility, and this is the best way to do so.

"Alright, try to hit the targets," I announces as I stand on my hind hooves. The gym starts to quiet down, and I look around to see that a bunch of the ponies have stopped working to watch: Rainbow Dash, training the alien...

Now that would be an awesome headliner for Gabby Gums.

I hold up my hooves, and wait for Peter to begin as I prepare to move my legs as fast as they can go.

Peter hits the first one without trouble, as it's just floating there. The second he hits surprisingly fast, and the third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh eighth ninth tenth eleventh-

I end up having to actually put effort into it to give Peter a challenge. He's lightning fast, even by my standards! He just jabs his arm out, hits his target, then hits the next in the blink of an eye!

"You're good," I announce as I move to give him a challenge. He quickly accepts it. "Better than I had expected!"

"Years of practice," he responds. He's not even panting yet, but he's going so fast...

The bad thing, though, is that they're not strong hits. They're just fast. "Alright, try for strength over speed," I announce as he continues to strike.

He doesn't say anything, but the transition is flawless. And while he only slows down a bit, I start to really feel the force in his punch...

As he proceeds, he starts to get a bit slow. "Come on, pick it up!" I shout, scowling as his hits get less and less frequent. He can't be tired already...

"You sure?" He asks, breathing easily and calmly. He may suck at running, but when it comes to throwing punches, he's got the endurance of a bull. "I mean, this isn't much of a challenge, Rainbow Dash."

I wince at the obvious personal insult. "What!?" I shout.

"I mean, I'm barely even trying," he informs me. "I mean, yeah, when I was going really fast before, that was a lot of effort, but right now, just keeping up with you...it's not hard at all."

My jaw drops a bit, and I grind my teeth with a vicious growl as I toss off the target shoes. "Vinyl, give me the boxing gloves."

"Sure thing!"

A moment later, I'm pulling two boxing gloves onto my hooves. I don't know why they're called gloves, nor why they look more like Peter's fists than they do hooves, but...whatever. I pull them tight with my teeth, and Peter receives similar gloves, but red instead of blue.

"This is more like it," he announces with a smirk. He tosses the gloves to the side. "But I'm not going to need these."

I grind my teeth at the second insult he's directed at me. Nopony calls me weak!

I hear a bell, and I grin to myself. So, this is some sort of boxing match now? Guess I sorta started that when I asked for the gloves...

"You ready?" I taunt. Peter nods as he takes a stance I'm far too familiar with: a defensive stance.

He's going to use martial arts.

"Peter, this isn't a martial arts gym," I remind him. "This is a modern gym. If I wanted you to do karate, I would've taken you there."

He raises an eyebrow. "It's not karate, Rainbow Dash. It's actually my own style of fighting."

I cock an eyebrow back at him, and smirk as I strip off the gloves. "Alright, we'll do martial arts. This I gotta see..."

He nods, and I take my karate stance. We advance, and the atmosphere goes up a notch: everypony in this gym knows I'm a black belt. They all know I'm going to win.

I take the initiative in attacking, and Peter immediately hits my hoof out of the way, his knuckles tucked in and his palm facing outwards. He remains calm as we circle each other, and I get increasingly pissed off at his cocky asshole attitude.

Alright, it's show time.

I launch myself at him, and-

He blocks me. I narrow my eyes at him as I back away, and prepare myself once more.

Alright, I'm going to beat the shit out of him...

Somehow, I'm now on the defensive.

While I was trying to get Peter in the ribs, he twisted his arm around my foreleg as I tried to hit him, kneed me in the stomach, and then let me go. I got winded, and he started attacking me, his stance wide as he practically dances around me, trying to get into every single opening he can find.

However, I manage to block him, again and again and again. I'm faster, stronger, and better.

Eventually, I see a huge opening: he leaves his side wide open. I lash out a hoof at his side, but I realize too late that that was what he wanted.

He wasn't trying to hit me on the shoulder.

He was preparing for a kick.

I can't help but let out a large puff of air as his foot makes rather brutal contact with my stomach. I try to get out my wings to keep myself stabilized, but it's then that something shifts.

Peter stops playing around.

He hits me right in the joint where wing and back meet, then in the shoulder, and then in the ribs. I'm barely left standing as I try to clutch all three, gritting my teeth in pain as my dislocated limbs let out cries of pain.

I'm about to throw in the towel: this is it, he's actually got the one up on me. Of course, I'll get back at him later, but-

But it's then that he goes in for the kill.

He palms me right in the sternum with a vicious exhalation, causing me to fall backwards onto my dislocated wing with a yelp of pain. I hear a few gasps, but they're blocked out by the sensation of the broken rib finally reaching my mind. I let out another involuntary yelp, and struggle to sit up so I can at least save some face...

It's then that Peter falls to my side, his eyes wide as he looks over me. "Shit, are you okay!? I didn't mean to hit so hard, I-"

"Relax," I hear Vinyl Scratch inform him. "These kind of things are normal in here, y'know? But normally it's Rainbow causin' it to other ponies that're dumb enough to try to fight her."

A few of the ponies laugh, and I blush like mad as I look away in an attempt to hide my tears. Peter shakes his head as he looks up at Vinyl Scratch.

"No, I don't think you understand, I-"

"Lemme guess, you've got a crush on her?" Vinyl asks with a smirk. I look up at Peter in surprise, and watch as his eyes grow a bit wider.

"No, that's not it," he responds, starting to hyperventilate a little. "That hit would've killed a human."

Vinyl Scratch frowns, and Peter immediately picks me up, causing a good deal of pain as he asks for directions to the hospital.

"How d'you know it would've killed a human?" I ask in a raspy voice as Peter carries me towards the door. I can feel his heart hammering in his chest. "I...I don't get it...how d'you-ah!-how did you know that could've killed one?"

He shakes his head as he leaves the gym, and starts to walk towards the hospital. I wait for him to answer, as it's not like I'm going anywhere with a dislocated wing and foreleg...

"Because I've done it before," he finally whispers, his Adam's Apple bobbing as he gulps. My eyes widen as I realize who's carrying me.

I'm being carried to the hospital by a murderer.