Age Swap: Attack of the Joke!
It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the sun was in clear view, with an occasional cloud floating about. A unicorn filly and her (adoptive) dragon brother were taking a pleasant walk. Unfortunately, there was nopony else to be seen.
“Where is everyone?” The unicorn filly asked, confused as to why such a social town had suddenly become devoid of any ponies actually being...well...social.
“Do you think they could be hiding from zombies?” The dragon next to her said.
“Spike,” the filly sighed, “zombies aren’t real.”
“You don’t know that, Twilight,” Spike protested. “There’s always the chance.”
“Spike! Twilight!” an eerie voice hissed from behind them, causing them to stop on the spot.
“I knew it, zombies!” Spike whispered, prompting an eye roll from Twilight. As they turned to see who had beckoned them, there was still nopony in the streets- but one of the doors to the nearby houses was open.
A cream, non-zombified pony’s head was peeking out of the dark interior of Sugarcube Corner.
“Spike! Twilight!” The cream head hissed again. Confused, the pair walked up to the door.
“Pound?” Spike said, becoming more relaxed as he realized it was just his friend.
“Get in here now!” Pound hissed urgently as he pulled Spike and Twilight into the bakery, seeming to become afraid of the very ground outside.
Spike peered into the darkness, seeing that Pound wasn’t the only one hiding in the bakery. Looking around, he recognized the scared faces of all of his new friends. “Apple Bloom? Sweetie Belle? Scootaloo? Pumpkin? What are you all doing here? Are there zombies?”
“No,” Pound said, giving Spike a serious look, “unless you’ve seen any.”
“We aren’t hiding from zombies,” Pumpkin Cake said, glaring at her brother with an ‘Are you serious?’ expression. “We’re hiding from that.” She pointed one hoof towards the window.
Spike looked out to the street where a filly dressed in a black cloak was pawing at the ground. From what little of her Spike could see he realized she had black stripes running through her white coat. She turned and looked straight at Spike, her eyes appearing to glow a bright yellow, and everyone backed away from the window.
“What the...how did I not see her?” Spike wondered.
“She’s an evil enchantress! Her name’s Zecora!” Pinkie Pie spoke up.
“I highly doubt...wait...Pinkie Pie? When did you get in here?” Spike hadn't seen the filly when he first arrived, but she seemed to have come in when he wasn’t looking.
“You silly dragon, I live here,” Pinkie Pie said simply.
Spike just shrugged off this new trivia and continued speaking, “Why do you all think she’s evil?”
“She eats...HAY!” Pound said dramatically.
“Pound...” Spike said slowly, “You eat hay. Sometimes I eat hay.”
“No I don’t!” Pound huffed, sticking his tongue out. “That stuff is bland and gross; I never eat it!”
Spike rolled his eyes. “But that doesn't make her evil.”
“She also has those weird markin’s on her coat,” Apple Bloom said.
“She’s a zebra,” Spike stated flatly. “She’s born with them.”
“She’s always lurking around town and pawing at the ground,” Sweetie Belle added.
Spike narrowed his eyes. “That’s it?”
“And she lives in the Everfree Forest!” Scootaloo exclaimed.
“I can’t believe you guys!” Spike shouted, his patience having been ripped to shreds. “You’re being so...so racist! This is what I was afraid would happened when I moved here! Come on Twilight, we’re going to apologize to that filly.”
Twilight didn’t say anything.
“Twilight?” Spike looked down to where his assistant was standing only moments before. As of now, however, she wasn’t there. “Where did Twilight go?”
“She left while you were all arguing!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
“She what?” Everyone ran to the window and saw that Twilight was indeed out there, running after the zebra who was now heading to the Everfree.
“She can’t go into the Everfree alone!” Spike exclaimed, running out of the sweet shop and after the purple filly, everyone else close on his heels.
Spike and company caught up with Twilight just as she was entering the forest. Spike grabbed the filly right before she walked into a patch of blue flowers.
“Twilight, you don’t just run off like that!” Spike scolded.
“Get back you...guys! That plant...tells only lies!” The zebra in front of them warned, obviously trying to ward them away from...something.
“What does that mean?” Apple Bloom wondered.
“Um...be warned!” Zecora tried again. “Poison Joke has thorns!”
Scootaloo stared at the plant below her. “This? This doesn’t have thorns.”
Zecora slapped her face with one hoof in exasperation. “Go home, pony folk! Or you will be caught in its joke!” She then turned and retreated farther into the forest.
“What did that mean? Did she just curse us?” Twilight spoke the question on everyone’s mind.
Spike looked down at the filly in his arms. “Doesn’t matter,” he growled. “We’re leaving this forest.” He stomped towards the exit while Twilight struggled for freedom.
“Let me go!” Twilight whined.
“No! Not until you learn that you can’t go into dangerous forests by yourself,” Spike told her. “When we get home, you are grounded!”
Spike had nightmares that night. Horrible nightmares filled with blue flowers and Twilight getting eaten by zombies with blue flowers in their manes. He tossed and turned in his bed the whole night, restful slumber seeming to have been boycotted to him.
When daylight pooled through the window and onto his face, he groggily rolled out of his hammock. “Twilight,” he called, “I think I need that stuff that wakes me up.”
“You sure Spike?” Spike heard his assistant call.
“Yeah, I feel really sleepy this morning.” He slumped to the floor and closed his eyes, wishing he could fall back asleep.
The door to his room opened and Twilight’s voice echoed around him, “One order of hot
chocolate and d-AIGH!”
Spike quickly realized he didn’t need donuts to wake up, just a scream of terror. “What? Who? What’s happened?”
A smashed cup and crumbled donuts were lying around Twilight. She was looking at Spike, dumbstruck.
“What’s wrong?” Spike asked, frantic.
“Your...your colors!” Twilight stuttered. “They...they’ve been switched!”
Spike stared at her, totally confused. “What?”
“Your colors have been switched,” Twilight repeated, completely serious.
Spike glared at her, “Is this a weird joke to get back at me for grounding you?”
“No!” Twilight insisted. “Let me show you.” She ran out of the room and Spike heard her moving around downstairs.
Twilight came back with a mirror floating in front of her. Spike looked into it and screamed louder than Twilight had.
His colors were indeed switched. His once purple body was now green. The spikes running down his back were of a violet shade. Everything had changed except his eyes. The forest green eyes that stared back at him were all that kept him from losing his head.
“How...how did this happen?” he asked Twilight, his voice cracking.
“I don’t know!” Twilight exclaimed. “You just woke up like this.”
“Okay,” Spike said, rubbing his forehead as he thought, trying to keep calm. “There’s probably something in the library about this. Let’s go look down there.”
They rushed down the stairs and started sifting through the books. Five minutes after they had begun their search, there was a banging at the door.
“It’s open!” Spike called, not looking up from his books.
When the banging sounded again and no one came in, Spike looked at the door.
“How do you do this without magic!?” came a female cry. Spike recognized the voice belonged to Pumpkin Cake.
“You unicorns rely too much on your horns,” A male voice, Pound’s, scolded.
“You silly-willy, just like this!” The door swung open and Pumpkin stumbled in, closely followed by a bouncing Pinkie Pie.
“Thanks,” grumbled Pumpkin, slightly blushing.
“Pumpkin?” Spike asked when he realized that something was off about the unicorn. “What happened to your horn?” The unicorn’s horn was bent at the top, and spiraled towards the center of her head like a ram’s.
“What happened to your...color?” Pumpkin countered.
“I’m not sure,” Spike told her. “I guess whatever happened did this to both of us.”
“Where’s Pound?” Twilight asked, her eyes scanning the doorway for the stallion.
“Right here!” A cream colored head poked out from behind Pumpkin’s back. It was Pound’s head, but it was the size of a colt younger than Twilight and Pinkie.
“Pound?” Spike gasped in disbelief.
“Yep,” The baby Pound flew off Pumpkin’s back and landed in front of Spike. “In cute mode.”
Twilight’s eye twitched and she put on a smile Spike knew all too well.
“Twilight,” Spike said slowly. “I think you should go to your room now.”
“But he’s adorable!” Twilight said as she hugged Pound, her eyes never leaving his face.
“You’re grounded, remember? Now go!”
Twilight stuck her tongue out at Spike, but did what he said, setting the little pony down and returning to her room.
“Well then,” Spike said when Twilight was out of the room, “Maybe you three can help me. You see, I was looking for...” Before he could finish his sentence Apple Bloom flew in through the door and crashed into a bookshelf, causing the books to rain down on her. Sweetie Belle walked in shortly after with a worried expression.
“Apple Bloom,” Spike started, “What are you...”
Just then there was a flash of light and the Earth Pony jumped out from under the books and ran into Spike’s kitchen. She came out a couple seconds later spinning plates on her head.
“This is just like the cutie pox!” Apple Bloom whined, “Except it’s not coverin’ my whole
body!”
“The cutie pox?” Spike asked, trying to see Apple Bloom’s cutie mark. “But that causes a cutie mark to...oh.” Her cutie mark had changed from a hammer to two spinning plates, just like the ones on her head.
“How did this happen?” Apple Bloom demanded.
“That little filly cursed us!” came a roar from outside.
All heads turn to see Scootaloo stomp through the door of the library. “Look at what she did to my wings!” She flared her wings open as wide as she could, but the wingspan was now about one fourth of what it had been.
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom went rigid at the sight of Scootaloo’s tiny wings and the plates on Apple Bloom’s head fell to the floor.
Pound burst out laughing. “Those are so tiny! They’re almost as big as mine!”
Scootaloo whirled on the colt, glaring ice daggers at him, “If you say one more word, I’ll...I’ll...”
Pound just smiled innocently up at her.
Scootaloo looked away before she could be brainwashed by his adorable gaze and shot her death glare at the next pony she turned to, Sweetie Belle.
“So what’s wrong with you?” Scootaloo shouted, causing Sweetie to flinch back. “You don’t seem to have had anything bad happen to you!”
Sweetie Belle looked down at her hooves and blushed, shaking her head.
“Is there anythin’ wrong with ya?” Apple Bloom, who was now tap dancing, asked Sweetie.
Sweetie nodded.
“Tell us what it is then!” Scootaloo demanded.
Sweetie Belle continued to stare at her hooves as she said, “I dOn’T wAnT tO tAlK aBoUt It.” Her voice cracked so much it sounded like she was randomly inhaling helium.
There was a tense silent for a second and then Pinkie Pie and Pound Cake fell over each other in laughter.
“That was the weirdest sound I’ve ever heard!” Pound chuckled.
“Do it again! Do it again!” Pinkie Pie begged.
Five pairs of disapproving eyes gazed down on the two, and their laughter quickly stopped.
“What should we do now?” Pumpkin asked, turning to Spike.
“Well... we’ve just gone through a few of our books and haven’t found anything explaining this, so I suppose we should go and see if Zecora knows anything,” Spike suggested.
“Of course she does! She cursed us!” Scootaloo hollered.
Spike narrowed his eyes. “Are you just saying that because she’s a zebra?”
“And she lives in the Everfree.” Pound Cake added.
“And she cursed us!” Scootaloo said again.
Spike rolled his eyes. “Let’s just go.”
“What is she doing?” Pinkie Pie asked, staring at Apple Bloom.
The group had not gone a hundred yards into the forest before discovering that the yellow Earth Pony had stopped and started scribbling things in the dirt.
“I don’t know!” Apple Bloom cried, staring at what her hooves were making.
“It looks like math,” Pound said.
“It looks kind of like quantum physics,” Spike suggested.
“Is that the theory of magic?” Pumpkin asked.
“I don’t care what she’s doing,” growled Scootaloo, who was quickly losing her patience. “Let’s just get going!” She grabbed Apple Bloom’s tail in her teeth and started dragging her down the path. The Earth Pony sighed and stared at nothing in particular as her hooves continued to scribble in the dirt.
As the mishap group continued along the trail they had taken earlier, Pumpkin Cake spoke up. “Does anyone know what we’re looking for?”
“A house?” Pound Cake suggested.
“Yes, but what kind of house?” Pumpkin asked.
“Maybe a hut type house with weird masks by the door and and plants growing around it,” Pinkie Pie said.
“That’s a little specific, isn’t it?” Spike asked.
“But it’s right over there,” Pinkie explained, pointing to a hut with strange facial ornaments surrounding the door and herbs growing on all sides.
Immediately, everyone rushed to the nearest window and peered inside.
Zecora was inside, putting plants into a pot and muttering.
“That should be good for now,” she said. “Now where is Twilight...Sparkle.” The Zebra shook her head at the failed rhyme.
“What?” Spike hissed. “What is Twilight doing here? She’s supposed to be at home.”
“I don’t care!” Scootaloo said. “Let’s just get her to change us back!”
“Um...guys...” Apple Bloom called, “A little...help...” she was running circles around the little clearing they were in at alarming speeds, a lightning bolt now on her flank.
Scootaloo smiled mischievously at the Earth Pony before stepping into her path to catch her and turn her toward the little hut’s door.
Apple Bloom slammed into it at full speed, throwing it off its hinges. She circled around the small house, knocking over everything, including the cauldron in the center of the room, before her cutie mark changed again and she started juggling masks.
Before Zecora could react to the intruders, she was tackled by an orange blur.
“YOU GIVE ME MY WINGS BACK!” Scootaloo shouted in the filly’s face. “YOU GIVE ME THEM BACK NOW!”
“Stop! Halt! It’s not my fault!” Zecora tried to explain to the enraged Pegasus.
“Oh yeah?” Scootaloo snorted, barely even listening to the zebra. “You cursed us!”
“You switched my colors!” Spike said.
“AnD mAdE mE sOuNd FuNnY,” Sweetie Belle added.
“And made me do weird stuff,” Apple Bloom contributed from her corner of the room.
“I did not curse you!” Zecora defended herself, “It was the plant...you...um...ran into.”
“What plant?” Spike asked.
“The blue one you wandered through,” The little zebra explained meekly. “I tried to warn you.”
“Well, maybe I remember that,” Scootaloo confessed, but her fierce demeanor picked up again an instant later as she added, “but maybe you're just trying to cover yourself.”
“She’s not,” a new voice by the door said.
“Twilight?” Spike asked in disbelief when he saw the new arrival. “What are you doing here?”
“Sorry Spike,” the little unicorn said, not sounding sorry at all. “But I needed to know what was going on.” She walked into the center of the room and faced everyone else. “The blue plant you guys walked into is called Poison Joke. It makes effects that are supposedly funny.”
“And they are!” Pinkie Pie confirmed, giggling slightly.
“Zecora here knows the cure and was trying to make it,” Twilight continued. “She just wants to help.”
“Yes! That’s right!” Zecora agreed. “Listen to Twilight!”
“So...no curse?” Pound asked.
“No curse,” Twilight confirmed.
“But you can get me my wings back, right?” Scootaloo asked Zecora, who was still pinned beneath her.
“Yes, yes I can,” Zecora confirmed, “But since you knocked over my brew, it will take...a time span.”
“Well… we’ll help you get what you need,” Spike told Zecora as Scootaloo let her up.
“Thank you, my new friends,” Zecora said. “Please, meet me at the spa at...ten.”
“Zecora, why do you rhyme all the time?” Sweetie Belle asked. The whole gang was soaking in a bath of the Poison Joke antidote.
“It is a tradition in my culture that goes way back,” the zebra explained. “Unfortunately, I don’t quite have the knack.”
“Oh, I love to rhyme!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Maybe I could help you find new ones, or I could rhyme with you! That would be SO fun!”
Pound Cake gave her an affectionate noogie. “Good thing I’m big again so I can do this.”
Everyone laughed, although part of it was from simple relief that they were back to normal.
Dear Princess Luna,
I didn’t learn much today about friendship, except that I was right! Everyone here WAS racist. Today they learned not to be, and not to judge things too quickly. Sometimes ponies you see as bad, scary, or different can help you the most.
Your super student,
Spike
P.S. ALWAYS avoid oddly colored plants.
Author's Note
I tried to make this short story funny more then anything else. If you have any questions go read Age Swap, it will probably clear everything up.
