My Interview with Alistair

He lightly collapsed onto his bottom, right at the foot of the bench he had slept on. The pony backed away, jumping right into action.

"SPIKE!" it yelled, "WATER!"

A blurry mass of purple and green darted across the human's eyes into a spinning tunnel of orange. It came back with a shifting oval of something. The pony laid the glass of water at his feet.

The oval of water was in at least five different places at once. After grabbing at four of them, he grasped the real one and began to drink.

“Are you ok?” asked the pony, bending its head down to his level.

He didn’t respond, but continued to sit with his arms on his knees, staring at something.

Twilight called for another glass, and set it at his feet. He slowly downed the glass and thraped it against the floor, like a salt chugger in a saloon. She put another glass at his feet. He drank that one as well.

With some strength regained, he was able to scoot on his butt into the main library section. Twilight and Spike wordlessly parted a way for him.

Normally Twilight would have laughed at something this silly. A mute monkey-man sliding on his rear with a placid and serious expression on his face, it was one for the books. But Twilight knew that giggling at this moment would be the worst possible thing to do. Any fault in her interaction with the human could cause disaster for her, him, and Ponyville. First impressions were everything as she always knew.

He crawled onto a bench quietly and shifted down into lying position. He was in no mood to talk.

“Spike why don’t you go upstairs for a little bit”, whispered Twilight.

“But I wanna stay.” Whined Spike, indignant against letting the walking weekly news special be alone.

Twilight glared at him angrily and he immediately bolted upstairs in a whiz of wind.

With Spike gone, Twilight could give her guest some time to adjust to seeing a miniature dragon and a talking pony in the same room.

Quickly trotting upstairs, she decided to approach the human with her prepared questions later in the day. For now, she had to wait, awhile.

Her work table was surprisingly clean today, no doubt Spike’s handiness with a rag and soapy water. She quickly flipped through the books she had collected the night before at the book store.

Tossing each book she had read already, her list of reading was quickly narrowed down. All she was left was a single hard back book with a yellow smiley face and a red drop of blood on it.

It was now late afternoon, and Twilight was still waiting. The hours had passed quickly, thank Celestia, but the inactivity was killing. She had an extra-dimensional immigrant in her house, and she had spent most of her day, reading a comic book.

It disgusted her that such a wonderful and opportunistic day had been ruined by her own politeness at not being assertive with the human downstairs. She understood that small interactions like this were important, but her craving for an interview was killing her. She had to ask it something, soon!

The entire day had been thrown off by the human’s arrival the night before. A new schedule would have to be made to fit in her lost time of book keeping the books in the library, not to mention the façade repairs and dusting of the basement.

She sighed deeply and crossed her hooves in anguish. This was taking forever! Was she supposed to wait all night? Should she pull up a cot while she waited for the human to…

No, this had to stop. The time of waiting was over, it was time to get to work, sitting from the side lines was no longer an option, the world needed saving, the clock was about to run out, it was time for some action.

Twilight grabbed her notepad and pencil, and gingerly trotted down stairs. She was just at the second step when she was detected.

The human craned its neck around and stared at the descending Twilight. She smiled and quickly continued her way down the stairs at a quicker pace. He didn’t take his eyes of her.

She approached him as non-threatening as possible, keeping to the side of the wall but still moving diagonally towards him. She felt like the wolf and him the rabbit. He made no resisting gestures to her movement, only sat with his face looking at hers, breathing attentively from his mouth.

Twilight stopped a few yards away from him. Fearing any more dreadful silence, she nervously cleared her throat and spoke.

“Hello.” She cheerfully welcomed, covering up the uneasiness of the situation with charm. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, the owner of the library/tree house were both currently in!” She paused, clearing her throat once again. “What’s your name?”

His face lit up amazingly with Twilight’s addressing. This was his moment. History was about to be made. He was going to speak to something and it would speak back to him!

“Um, A-A-Alistair is my n-name.” He said, quickly finishing the last part of his sentence.

“Well, hello Alistair.” Responded Twilight respectively. “I am very pleased to make your acquaintance.” She extended her hoof in friendship.

He got up from his seat and slowly hobbled towards her, his left leg dragging his right behind him. The closer he got he could see that the pony was much taller then him, maybe by four to five inches. He felt uncomfortable getting this close to something this large, but he quickly pushed these feelings down as he extended his hand and met her hoof.

Her hoof was thick and solid, but alive with something, like a heated stone. He could slightly feel the fur near her hoof as he shook. It was very thin, assuredly not as thick as a bear, but still present.

He continued to shake her hoof, until he realized she had stopped shaking his hand. He bent his head down and moved his hand back into his pocket, all while stupidly smiling up at her.

He couldn’t tell for sure, but he assumed the pony did not like being so close to him, he assumed the same likewise. He stepped backwards and took his seat back on the one of the benches. She smiled brightly at him and sat down a few yards away from him, it looked like she had something planned.

“Now, Alistair, I want to ask you a few questions, basic ones, just to get a good summary of you. Is that ok?”

He nodded, still smiling like an idiot. He couldn’t help himself, he was the happiest he had been in years.

Twilight floated her notepad in front of her and quickly flipped through the pages.

“Alistair…do you know how to read?”

Although the context of the question did seem rude, she legitimately needed to know if he was literate. Any pony not knowing how to read would be an incredibly significant disadvantage to the rest of the world. She had read that the older you got the more difficult it became to read. So if his answer was “no” then lessons would needed to be started pronto.

“Y-Y-Yes, I c-c-can read very well i-i-in fact. A-Actually, I once r-read an m-m-memoir that was over ten th-thousand pages long. Sure, It t-took me a few days, b-b-but you would not believe the s-satisfaction I felt.”

Twilight bobbed her head in agreement and scribbled something down in her notebook. An obvious problem was already present with her guest.

Although she could understand what he said, the human’s stutter was already an unbearable impediment to his speech. It wasn’t the sound that was bothersome, but the time it took him to complete a sentence naturally got on her nerves. He sounded so slow a lumbering; she felt the impulse just to finish some of his sentences for him.

“Um…Alistair, may I ask you something?”

“S-Sure, I’d be h-h-happy to answer anything y-you ask. I h-haven’t had a c-c-conversation with anyone in f-f-forever!”

“Well thank you I’m very flattered but…are you ok? Your voice, how you say things, it sounds…off.”

The possible insult flew right over his head. He kept up his jovial and comfortable attitude as he answered.

“Oh, it just an s-s-stutter, m-most the time when I t-t-talk I can’t even t-tell I have it. B-B-But since I’m s-speaking with you in s-such long i-i-intervals, that’s n-noramally what causes it.”

“So you’re not nervous or anything?”

“Well…s-s-sort of. My s-s-stomach feels a bit a-achy and my ch-chest kinda hurts. B-But it’s not the kind of p-p-pain feeling, like w-when y-your hurt o-or something. I-I-It’s a pain o-out of fear.”

“Your pretty good at hiding it.” Remarked Twilight.

“Y-Yeah…I guess so.”

Twilight nodded and wrote down more notes into her book. She flipped away from the basics page of questions and moved into more important territories.

It had become mandatory for info on humans to be recorded when they arrived in Equstria. They where strange creatures with consistent inconsistencies in their lifestyles and ideals. To date, not a single human had ever come from the same place as another. Always, they would have come from a different plain of existence and would always have some fantastic story to tell.

“Where are you from, Alistair? Like a town or a city or something?”

“W-Well um…i-it’s a uh…p-p-place that k-kinda…l-looks like…here.” He said ‘here’ like a first grader would say an answer that they weren’t sure was correct but just decided to blurt it out.

“Can you describe it any better?”

He started scratch the back of his neck and tap his foot rapidly. “I-It like…r-r-re-resembles everything a-a-around here, y-ya know? Like…it has t-trees, flowers, rocks, b-b-b-blue sky. Even the a-animals k-k-kinda look…y-you know, th-the same.”

“Interesting” she said, while writing this down in her notes. “So, same animals, environment, climate, everything?”

“S-S-So far, y-yeah. W-W-Well…some little stuff but that d-doesn’t really matter much.”

She felt like it did. No way could an alternate dimension be similar to Equstria in that many ways, it wasn’t possible. She had looked at the assorted information of different dimensions, all compiled from human travelers, and none of them resembled Equstria.

They told stories of metallic super cities, pitch black caves, ruined warzones, mile-high forests, icy tundra’s and much much more. No way could the environment of one of these worlds be as mild and peaceful as Equstria, no way at all.

The human was more then likely lying. A falsity like that could never pass by any intelligent pony and not be questioned. And besides, if his world was so much like Equstria, why did he come here, why didn’t he just stay?

“What motivated you to come here, Alistair? Was something wrong at home, was it an accident, was it just an urge?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his hands began to wring against each other. “W-W-Well, um…s-some stuff happened back home…b-b-bad stuff and I-I wasn’t e-exactly keen on s-staying, y-y-ya know?”

“What do you mean?”

“I-I mean, b-bad stuff can happen and eventually when things g-get bad enough s-s-some people…they just decide t-t-to…leave.”

“I’m sorry Alistair, but I don’t understand what you mean.”

He sighed, both out of nervousness and annoyance. “C-Can I please not finish this q-q-question? I r-really don’t l-l-like it.”

“That’s alright” she comforted “Completely fine, no problem.”

He smiled sincerely. “T-Thank you”

She smiled back and wrote down what she had just heard. So far head been resistant on the whys and hows of his actions, but maybe he might open up about himself. She’d have to take this slowly. Build up through smaller questions until reaching the ones that she wanted answered.

Twilight scrolled down her list of topics. She beamed at the sight of one of her favorite questions.

“What is your favorite book?” She asked, with a cheerful exalt.

He didn’t even have to think about the question. “Alistair’s Adventures!” he shouted, “No d-doubt about it! B-Best book ever written!”

Realizing his word choice, he quickly corrected himself. “B-But it’s not about me! I f-found it, a long t-time ago. And I have to say, you will never find a more p-pulse-pounding r-read then this! The settings and the stuff that he does are amazing! R-Really top notch! Here, I th-think I have it on me!”

He began to loudly search through the two pockets on the shaggy brown cloak he wore around his back and sides. It didn’t look like much, just a large brown piece of cloth draped over him with a hood on the top. Underneath the cloak, Twilight could partially see a crudely made green shirt and a ragged pair of pants on him.

“J-Just let me…it’s g-g-got to be…hold on a second.”

Alistair quickly pulled off the cloak, turned it upside down, and began to wildly shake it upside down. Only a ball of lint and a cork fell out.

“Rats” he defeatidly remarked “I r-really th-thought I had it in there.”

“What did the book look like? Could you have dropped it somewhere?” Asked Twilight, alarmed herself at the loss of a book.

“Na, i-it’s fine. I s-still remember p-parts of it.”

“Are you sure? We could go look for it.”

“It’s not w-w-worth the effort. A-And besides, I w-was wondering, what’s your favorite book?”

Stars twinkled across Twilight’s face. A question like that could never possibly be answered in a single sitting! The multitude of genres and timelines that books were published in could never be fully recorded as to what were her favorites. She had been thinking of compiling a list of her favorite books through all categories, but it seemed unlikely that she would ever be able to make up her mind about the top 100.

An idea popping into her head, she dashed upstairs into her room. She pulled from her nightstand a special leather lined book she had made with all five of her closest friends that summer. Whiffing in the lovely smell of the paper, she dashed back downstairs into the library.

She trotted over to Alistair, and held out the book with her horn’s magic. Slowly reaching forward, he snatched the floating literature item out of the pink aura and held the front close to his face. He didn’t seem surprised by the use of her magic but instead looked at the title. Memories: Version 2.0 Second Edit. The cover page had a large photograph of Twilight and all of her friends together in a large pile, smiling happily towards the camera.

“W-What’s this?” He asked, a bit confused.

“It’s my favorite book, just like you asked.”

He quickly brushed through the pages, chuck full of photographs. “But…it j-just has pictures, n-no words or anything.”

“Not every book has to have pictures, Alistair. Sometimes it could be an art book or a photo album, like the one you’re looking at.”

“Y-Yeah, but a think a b-book should always have…n-never mind.” He closed the book and placed it off to the side. “We still have an in-in-interview to get through.”

“Exactly!” Agreed Twilight, turning to another clean page of notes. “Now let’s see what we can…ah, here’s a good one.” She cleared her throat. “How old are you?”

He opened his mouth to say something then quickly shut it. The chipper expression was gone from his face replaced with one of intent study. His eyes moved around the room, looking for something to give him a clue, but he couldn’t find one. The gears were turning in his head but no idea energy was being made.

He looked down at his hands, inspecting them to tell him something, like an old man would. “Jeez…I d-d-don’t know. How old do I look?”

Twilight sputtered at this question. “Well…your face looks young; kind of like a foal or a teenager. Your voice sounds deep, sort of; no doubt you’ve gone through puberty or almost done with it, maybe a few more years, it least in pony standards.” She paused “Here let me get you a mirror.”

She trotted over to the bathroom and pulled out a small hoof mirror. Walking back over, she handed it to him.

Alistair quickly snatched the tiny piece of glass, and began to peer into it, looking for answers. He studied his facial features, his eyes, his nose, his cheeks.

“I c-can’t really tell” he said, putting down the mirror in defeat.

“But that’s just crazy. You have to have some record of yourself, maybe a birth certificate?”

“N-No, I don’t have one. I can’t really recall ever r-r-recording my age or having someone else tell me. I mean, it isn’t that big of a deal but-” He cut himself off. A waver of desperation was coming into his voice, but he was trying to stay calm.

Twilight reached over her hoof and placed it onto his shoulder. He didn’t flinch at the action (like she expected) but instead looked up at her, his eyes soft and hung-down.

“Alistair…we don’t have to answer anymore questions. Would you like that?”

He shook his head.

“Well then would you want to answer at least one more question, then we’d be done for today?”

He shook his head in agreement, and then sniffled a few times.

“Alright…I’m r-r-ready.”

“Ok. Do any of these names sound familiar to you: Wince Redbird, Ozymandias, Sember Co, Auric, Blaze, or Skip Stop?”

He shook his head “N-Nope, never heard of them. Sh-Should I know them?”

A look of disappointment went across her face. “No…you shouldn’t.” The balloon of chance had just been popped.

“W-What’s wrong?”

She signed “It’s just…I was hoping you’d know who the people are.”

“Why?”

“Well, they’re humans, like you.”

“There’s people that look like me?”

“Yes, of course. You sound surprised.”

He leaned back in his chair. “I am, well, j-just a little bit, but still…”

“You didn’t know there were others?”

“N-No, I didn’t, at least not till now.”

He didn’t seem particularly amazed at her reveal. She was expecting a gasp, or a faint, or  a very loud “WHAT?” But instead he took the news pretty calmly, more so then she would have expected.

Alistair didn’t seem like a particularly high strung character, at least by appearances. But after seeing him faint and down a pitcher of water, she had the right to make assumptions on his reactions to things.

“Are th-there any…humans around where you live?” He asked, emphasizing the word ‘humans’ a great deal.

“No, not recently.”

“Did they die o-out? Like extinction?”

Twilight chuckled at his question. “No, no, nothing like that. No humans are native to Equstria. Every single one who has been here was not born here.”

“Where d-d-do they come from then?”

“All over really. About every single one has come from a different world. Sure some have come in pars and even in a large group once, but most arrive alone. Their worlds are…odd to say the least.”

“But e-every single world is different?”

“Not precisely. Some have similar qualities, not most, but some. But others are drastically different, like no resemblance what so ever to other ones.”

“Except f-for the species.”

“Now that’s something I myself have wondered before. If the worlds are so different, why do the species still resemble one another? I would imagine genetic difference overtime, especially in worlds that are covered in lava or have eternal night, but it doesn’t happen. I mean sometimes I think that maybe if-”

Twilight’s introduction to her lecture on genetic mutations in hostile climate was interrupted by her wall clock to bonging on the other side of the room

“Oh shoot!” cursed Twilight, peering over at the clock. She bolted over to the stairs “SPIKE!” she yelled up, “WE HAVE TO GO!”

The small…thing he hadn’t clearly seen since that morning zipped down the stairs and stopped right next to Twilight, his scaly hand in a salute. He stood in his military attention before realizing Alistair was sitting in the room.

Spike happily smiled at him, “Well hello. I’m Spike, apprentice, associate, and assistant to the very unicorn that stands before you, I don’t think we’ve met.” Spike extended his hand (it looked like one) towards him. Alistair shook it, smiling likewise.

“Now we’ve b-been introduced in consciousness, I feel so complete.” Alistair grinned at his own joke.

Spike chuckled, he turned to Twilight. “I like this guy. I think we should keep him around for one more day, before we chuck him back into the Everfree Forest.”

“Oh Spike.” Chided Twilight. The two walked towards the door, about to head out.

“Hey, wait Twilight!” Alistair shouted, getting up from his seat, then sitting back down when his leg reminded him it was hurt. “W-Where you guys going?”

“Oh, just a meeting. Don’t worry, we’ll be back soon.”

“But w-w-what am I supposed to do while you’re gone.”

“Why don’t you read something? I have a large collection of literature down here.”

“But w-what about when I’m done?”

“Why don’t you eat something, are you hungry?”

“Sort of.”

“Then there you go. Help yourself to whatever you find. I’ve got to get going, we’re going to be late.”

“Ok…bye.”

“Bye.”

The door slammed shut.