What Am I Doing Here? - Return To Earthby CrystalHero97ChaptersPrologue - Just A Different School DayDay 1 - Educational SystemDay 2 - EntertainmentDay 2 - Discorded VacationDay 3 - teh internetzDay 4 - Discord Vs. The WorldPrologue - Just A Different School DayPrologue - Just A Different School Day I got up from my bed, screw driver in hand, and walked over to my mirror. I stared into the eyes that greeted me. Eeyup. This is all real. My normal dreams are never in great detail. If this was a dream I wouldn't be able to see myself in detail. I groaned and grabbed the back of my head. What the hell happened? A few minutes ago I was enjoying my own 16th birthday party, why am I back here?! I grunted and lowered my hands. I glanced towards the screw driver in my hand. I'm both unhappy and grateful to still have it. It proves that Equestria is indeed real and was not a dream, but it doesn't offer me a way back to Equestria. At this point the very knowledge of Equestria's existing is worthless as I have no way of returning. the thought of never seeing those ponies again brings me to the edge of tears. My dad pounded on the door, waking me from my thoughts. "Mate, the bus'll be here soon!" I sigh and look around for my bag, only to remember it was in Rose's house along with my laptop and DSi. Shit. "Yeah dad, I'll be gone soon." I put on shoes and walked out of my bedroom. My dad eyed me weirdly as he watched me walk out of the house. "Bye, mate." I grunt. "Later, dad." I slam the door shut and begin making my way to the bus. This has all put me in shock. I cannot believe I am back in this shit hole. I feel so empty. Guess this is what Ulquiorra Cifer feels like. I hate this feeling. While I was silently bashing myself I must've made it to the bus stop. I leaned against the tree and waited for the bus. When it came and stopped by me I silently climbed aboard and sat in my old seat, staring out the window. I have no idea how I will be able to adjust from this.... As time passed, we arrived at a stop I had long since forgotten even existed. We arrived at Colby's stop. When he saw me he cracked an evil grin and sat next to me. I was too engrossed in my thoughts to care. "Hey, mate." I continued ignoring him. He wasn't a top priority right now. In fact, he was the least of my worries. I shuffled around and heard paper crumbling inside my pockets. Curious, I reached inside and pulled out the source of the noise. Colby was facing the opposite direction talking to somepo- someone else..... The paper was a card, a birthday card by the looks of it. Unfortunately for me, it was from Rose. Looks like she stowed it away without telling me. To my misery, I opened the card and read silently aloud. "Dear Crystal, I've only known you for about 3 or 4 months, yet I feel like I've known you all my life. You and I just click and I love it. I hope you enjoy your birthday! XoXo, Roseluck." It felt like my chest was being torn in half and my heart was being ripped out. Roseluck.... Colby snatched the card away from me and began reading it. I was still shocked from what I read. "HahaHA! Well, looks like Crystal got himself a bitch! She tight? Bet she's a cum guzzler." When I heard what he said, my fist smashed his face with such ferocity he was flung into the seats on the opposite side of the bus. I grabbed the card and stowed it away. Colby was knocked out and bleeding from everywhere. I didn't care anymore. Nothing matters now. The bus was just about to pass the stop Chrysalis boarded that fateful day. Except it stopped. Shocked, I looked to who was about to board. My jaw fucking dropped. The first to board was a girl with multi-coloured hair composed of various shades, mainly pink and blue. She had light pink eyes. The next to follow was a girl with royal blue hair and blue eyes. Finally, Chrissy was following behind the blue haired one. Without a single fucking doubt in my mind, I knew the first 2 were Princess Celestia and Luna. Chrysalis was blindingly obvious. Chrysalis sat next to me while Luna and Celestia sat behind me. The bus began moving once again and I turned to Chrysalis. "I want an explanation. Like, right fucking now." Chrysalis nodded and the Princesses leaned forward. Celestia was the first to speak. "The reason for you being here once again is the fault of a certain draconnequs. Discord thought that by removing you it would cause some chaos for him. Granted, he never wished to hurt anypony. He was merely bored." I shook my head and gestured around. "Then why is it 2013?" Luna cleared her throat. "Discord reversed time. For a being such as him, it was an easy task. However, it is an extremely difficult task for him to bring you back. So me and Celestia instantly went to Chrysalis to come and retrieve you." I nodded slowly. Chrysalis smiled lightly. "Do not fear about the time flux, for in Equestria right now not even a single minute has yet to passed. There is plenty of time to bring you back." I frowned. "But I wanna go back now!" Celestia nodded with a light smile. "And I am glad to hear that. However, me and Luna decided that as long as we are here, we wish to experience this world first hoof ourselves." It took me a while to understand, but I couldn't blame em. We had plenty of time and they wish to see a new world. I know how they felt. I sighed and nodded. "Okay then. How long do you wish to stay here?" Luna tapped her chin with a finger. It creeps me out not seeing her as an alicorn. "We planned to stay for perhaps a week? Maybe 5 days?" I nodded and smiled. "Alrighty then. A week sounds fine." I turned back to the window and smiled brightly. I didn't care if I had to wait a week before I got to see Rose again, I'm fucking thankful the princesses and Chrysalis are here to take me back to her and the fillies. Oh christ, this will be a challenge. Day 1 - Educational SystemDay 1 - Educational System Well, there I sat aboard the bus. Sitting near me were three girls who were from another universe. One was a bug-like creature who feeds on love while the other two move the celestial bodies. Sounds like a bad script for some weird arse fanfic. So while Luna and Celestia were talking to themselves behind us, me and Chrysalis were left to each other. "So, Chrissy-" "Don't call me that." Well, that surprised me. I nod slowly and clear my throat. "So, Chrysalis, how much time passed in Equestria before you came here?" Chrysalis shrugged nonchalantly. "Roughly 3 minutes. I acted very quickly and alerted Celestia and Luna via teleport. They agreed to come here as soon as possible." I chuckled and scratched my head. "3 minutes? Christ, Dash would be jealous at that speed. How did you pull that off?" Chrysalis smirked and waved a finger. "You can do a lot in 3 minutes." I held back a loud laugh at that, reminding me of the Doctor. "So, you teleported to the Princesses and brought 'em here. Good job, Chrysalis. I owe ya my life. I don't know how long I'd be able to keep my sanity if I knew I could never go back to you, Roseluck and the fillies." Chrysalis shrugged once again and looked away from me. "Yeah, sure." Okay, what the hell? Chrysalis has been acting a bit distant from me ever since she arrived here. "Chrysalis, is something bothering you?" She shook her head once again. "No, why would you ask?" "Well, for one thing you seem to be distracted." She turned her head to face me very quickly. Her eyes showed fury. "That idiot Discord thinks that he could bring you here and not upset anypony?! I swear...." She raised a tightly clenched fist. "When we get back to Equestria, I will personally rip out his chaotic heart!" She slammed her fist into her open hand, trying to emphasize her point. She crossed her arms and slumped back into the chair. "Wow, Chrysalis. All he did was bring me here. Honestly I am also angry at him, but not that angry." She huffed and stayed in her position. "I don't care. He deserves to pay after what he did to you, me and everypony else." I sighed and looked out the window. "Excuse us, but we need to ask you something Crystal." I twisted my head to face Celestia. "Hm?" "Where are we going?" I twist the rest of my body around to face her with a confused look. "Didn't Chrysalis inform you of anything?" "No. By the time we got here this vehicle was nearly her. She merely told us to follow her lead. I must admit, I had to hold back Luna. She was glad to see you are okay." Celestia's head was pulled back and replaced with Luna's adorably smiling face. "We are glad to see you are well Crystal!" She did that thing where they smile then make a squeak noise before her head was pulled back and replaced with Celestia's. "As I was saying, where are we going?" I got over the fact that Luna did the smile-squeak and cleared my throat. "We're going to my school. I am only 16, remember. Oh wait, am I still over 3000 or did that change?" Celestia nodded. "Indeed. Discord reversed time here, not in your biology." I fist pump. "Wicked." Celestia rolled her eyes and sunk back into her seat. Chrysalis coughed, which brought my attention back to her. "Hey, Chrysalis?" "What." I reached over and grabbed her in a hug. "Thanks for coming back here and getting me." She kept her arms crossed for a few seconds before giving in with a smile and returning the hug. "What are friends for?" I smiled and broke the hug. I looked out the window and saw many buildings passing us by. "We're almost there. Just a bit longer." I heard Chrysalis laugh very loudly. I looked back to see her poking Colby's unconscious body. She looked back to me with the most amused face ever. "Did you do this to him?" I smirk and nod. She laughs harder. "That fucker deserved it." I laughed and nudged her. "Some of my vocabulary sinking in to you or something?" She giggles lightly and gives me a wink. ~~~~~First Period, English in C6 ~~~~~ Me and Chrysalis had no problems finding our lockers and checking our classes. We needed to get Celestia and Luna some equipment (Chrysalis used a spell and just magicked some in) but other than that everything was going smoothly. We had English first off. Others would hate the subject, but I find it rather easy. The subjects I excel at are English, History, and IT. But I suck horribly at Maths. So anyway, we sat in the classroom with about 17 other students. I always preferred sitting in the front of any class. Dunno why. We were waiting for the teacher Mr. Kelly to come in and teach us about whatever. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to face Luna. She and Chrysalis sat either side of me and Celestia was seated on the other side of Luna. "Why do you need a class to teach you about a language you already speak?" I lightly laugh. I ask myself the same thing everyday. "Some students don't have a very good vocabulary. I for one have an impressive vocabulary for my age. It kinda irritates me when a student doesn't know a word that is so simple to me yet impossible to them." She nods in agreement. "When I came back from the moon, I still spoke in olde tongue. I needed to learn how to speak modern Equestrian." I almost forgot about that. I can relate to Luna. I'm basically in the same situation she was right now... At that moment the teacher walked in about 15 minutes late. He turned to the class and nodded curtly. "Good mourning, class." The rest of the class mumbled a response. I heard a scoff and looked to see Celestia with an unamused look on her face. The teacher walked over to his desk and pulled out a large folder. He opened it up and began speaking. "Today we are-" The door to the classroom swung open and revealed a male student. He looked sweaty and slightly shaky. "Sorry I'm late-" "No excuses. Detention after 2nd Period. Come to my office." The student cringed slightly and sighed, looking down in shame. "Yes, Mr. Kelly." The student walked to the back and sat in the last row of tables. 'Who does he think he is?' Holy fucking duck shit that made me jump slightly. I recognized the voice as Luna's, but I heard it inside my head. 'What do you mean, Luna?' I ain't questionin' how she's in my head. Because magic. 'He thinks he can stroll in the class at any time without an excuse and he punishes a student who does the same? With Celestia and Twilight, every class they had both of them had to be punctual.' I mentally laugh. 'Guess that's where Twilight developed her OCD-like personality, right?' Luna lightly nodded. Mr. Kelly stood up and walked to the whiteboard with a marker. "Okay everyone. Turn to a new page of your notebook and start writing this down." I open my book and pull out a pen from my pencil case. Celestia and Luna watched me carefully and copied me. Chrysalis was already set before he even asked. He began writing down these 'complicated' words and their meanings, telling us it was all in preparation for an upcoming topic. I looked over to Chrysalis. She was writing down the words without flaw. When I looked over to Luna and Celestia though... They had not written anything down. I nudge Luna in the shoulder and whisper to her. "Why haven't you written anything?" She leaned towards me. "We cannot read the words! We only read Equestrian languages. This is alien to us!" I instantly donned the 'Oh Shit' face at the realization. I quickly glance back to Chrysalis. She was writing down the words like a pro. I sigh and look to Luna. "Can't you, like, magic the words into your head or something?!" It was really hard to talk quietly. Mr. Kelly looked behind him and shushed us. Me and Luna lowered our heads. "I can read the knowledge inside another mind and learn it that way. It works much like Telepathy." I groan lightly. "Fine. Do it to me." She nods and lowers her forehead to mine. What happened next felt.......strange if anything. First it felt like my brain turned to water and was flowing out of my ears towards Luna. It stopped as soon as it started. Luna leaned away and winked. "Thank you." I nod and wave a hand. "Yeah. Anything for a friend." Luna smiled and looked back to the board and began taking down words. I took a look to Celestia and saw she must've done the same to another. Heh. I groan and look to the board and began taking down notes. After fucking christ knows how long he stopped writing and merely went to his desk and took a seat. I was almost done writing everything down. I glance to Luna and Celestia. They had already written everything. I groan and looked to Chrysalis. Yep. Everything is down. I sigh and continue writing. 'God, the things I would do if I was a freakin' Alicorn.' 'What would you do?' I laugh quietly. 'Luna you have no idea how much of a rarity you are here. We have *no** magic here. If everyone could do what you could, this world would be so much simpler and peaceful.*' I finished writing and looked to Luna. She was staring at her page with a sad look. 'Is this world really as bad as you told Celestia?' I frown and sigh. '...Yes. This world is dangerous and terrible. But there is some good in it. Some, very small amount of good.' I glance to Luna. She was smiling lightly. 'Is that why you wish to return to Equestria?' 'Well that and Roseluck.' Luna smiled wider at that. *Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.* The classroom erupted into noise as everyone collected their possessions and left to go to the next class. ~~~~~4th Period, IT in F8 ~~~~~ Me and Celestia sat together at one computer while Luna and Chrysalis sat together at the computer adjacent to us. "So this computer is much like your tiny laptop but more powerful?" I nodded with a frustrated look. Teaching IT to someone who knows nothing about it is a pain. "Yeah. This can do all the things my laptop can but better. Well, not better than mine. Ever since I upgraded my laptop with my screw driver it beats this thing by miles. But normally laptops are weaker than these computers." She nodded and started randomly tapping keys. "Interesting." I roll my eyes and look to Luna and Chrysalis. The were playing a game on a school monitored site and they looked like they were having a blast. I flip out my screwdriver and duck under the desk while Celestia was moving the mouse and tapping the keyboard. I put the screwdriver in my mouth and pulled the case of the tower out. I looked inside to see the hardware. i3 Processor. Not bad, but not great. 1GB RAM. That's fucking terrible. The only graphics card in here was the on board one, an Intel (HD) GPU. Time for an upgrade. I aim my screwdriver at the interior and sonicked it. I slapped the casing back on and dusted my hands. I rose up to see Celestia on Google Images looking at phoenix's. "Don't you have a pet phoenix?" Celestia smiled and nodded. "Yes, I do. Perhaps I shall get one of her eggs for a birthday present for you." My eyes grew wide. A pet phoenix? ....... THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME! I shook my head before I became comatose and began drooling. I reached over and grabbed the mouse and keyboard from Celestia's grasp. "Wanna play a prank?" Celestia grew a wicked smile and looked to me expectantly. "What did you have in mind?" I laugh heartily and crack my knuckles. "Look over to Luna and Chrysalis as I work my magic." Celestia looked over and saw them playing "Paint Ninja" on the school website while laughing with joy. Until my virus program got into their computer and froze the screen. Chrysalis stopped laughing and tapped the screen, hoping to make it work. Sadly the screen went black pixel by pixel and went completely black. Chrysalis and Luna looked at each other with frowns. "The fun has been subtracted." I chuckled and Celestia looked over to me. I was leaning back in the chair with my screwdriver spinning on a finger. She laughed mischievously. "How did you do that?" I raise a finger to my lips. "My secret." ~~~~~End of Day ~~~~~ Me, Celestia and Luna climbed aboard the bus and we all sat in the same seats. I look over to the Princesses. "So, what did you think of school?" Celestia huffed. "Besides the nerve of the first teacher, it's not bad." Luna smiled with a nod. "Indeed. Me and Chrysalis were having a joyous time on the computers. Until the machine stopped working." Me and Celestia held back a laugh. Chrysalis smiled. "It was great, Crystal." I grinned widely. Glad to see everything going alright. After a minute I saw Colby climb aboard and look over to me. His face grew a fearful expression as he sat in the 2nd row far away from us. Chrysalis smirked brightly. "That's right, wanker." ~Later At Home, Backyard~ Me and the 3 girls were looking at the caravan In my backyard. I smiled bashfully and waved a hand towards it. "As long as you be careful, Dad won't even know you're here. It's got power and water so you won't be cold. There are 2 queen sized beds and 2 bunk beds. Sorry I don't have a better set up for ya." Luna smiled and gave me a massive hug. Her boobs were like right up in my face. "Thank you, Crystal." "CAN'T. BREATHE." Luna pulls away and I gulp down air like a vacuum. That's the second time this has happened to me. I smile weakly and open the door for them. "I'll get you food when I can. In the meantime I'll get my PlayStation 2 set up out here for you three." Luna and Celestia climbed inside the caravan. Chrysalis hung outside with a unsure look on her face. I smile like a goofball and laugh. "What's wrong? I ain't carrying you in." Chrysalis laughed at my joke. "Can't blame a girl for trying." She climbs inside and I close the door. "Good night!" I stroll back inside my house and sneak into my bedroom. I hop on my PC with a big smile. 'Not long before I return, Rose. Just wait a little bit longer.' I bark a laugh at the irony of the statement. 'Well, *I** gotta wait longer. To you it's like 5 minutes have passed.*' Day 2 - EntertainmentDay 2 - Entertainment I woke up in the middle of the night and looked over to my alarm clock. What the fuck? It's 3am?! Oh for fuck sake. I groan and slump back into my bed. No chance in hell I'll be able to sleep now. Brilliant. I sigh and turn around in my bed and look out the window. I saw the caravan in the backyard, along with a silhouette of a person in the moonlight sitting on top of the said caravan. Okay, this warrants an investigation. I roll out of my bed and land on my feet. As I walk out into the backyard I look up to the top of the caravan. Yep. Still there. I sighed and jumped up, grabbed the edge of the roof and flung myself up. I heard a gasp and felt a fist smash my face. I fell over and landed on the ground. "Ow. Oi! Who's there?!" "Crystal?" "Luna? Did you just seriously punch me?!" "I thought you were a-" "A what? What could be out here at this time?!" "I don't know! It's your world, not mine!" I groan and stand up. My back was killing me. I saw Luna peak her head over the edge of the roof with a sad look upon her face in the dim moonlight with a light blush. "I'm sorry." I stretch and hear a pop come from my back. "It's cool." I jump up once again and fling myself onto the roof. "What are you doing up here?" She smiled and looked to the sky. Specifically, towards the moon. "You told us that your moon moves on its on and does not require an alicorns power." She reaches a hand out towards the celestial object. "You never told us how beautiful it was." I smile lightly and look around the sky. "I also told you about our constellations. Too bad I can't find any right now." She followed my gaze and looked up to the night sky. "It does not matter. Still a beautiful landscape." I lie back on the cold roof and sigh with content. I used to do this every night. Granted I still did this when I was in Equestria. Luna followed my lead and sighed as she lied on the roof. We stayed there for who knows how long before I started to doze off. The last thing I saw was the moon hanging above us. I was woken by Luna shaking me. Of course being the lazy arse I was... "No...I need sleepy sleeps..." "Crystal we have company." I grunted in response. So in response to my response Luna jabbed me in the gut. I instantly sat up. "Ow! What do you-" When I saw what company we had I nearly choked. Discord himself was suspended in the air in front of us with a maddening smile. "Ha-AH! Found you! Look, Lulu! I figured out how to get here! All by myself!" Luna rolled her eyes at the statement. "If you would have come with us instead of being stubborn-" "I would look like a human. Bleh. Pass." Discord began back stroking through the air like water. He kept his gaze on me, still holding that smile. "And how are you?" I stand up and attempt to grab him by the neck, which failed as he swiftly backed away. "I'm fine now that I found you." He laughed heartily and moved closer to me. "Oh PLEASE. Even if you had the guts, you couldn't hurt me!" Granted, I was angry with Discord. But truth be told I couldn't. Sometimes I hate my rules. Discord laughed and disappeared, reappearing behind me and resting an arm across my shoulders. "Well, if you wanna come back just say the word! I can-" "We're staying, Discord." Discord looked to Luna with his mouth agape. "What?!" Luna stood up and nodded. "We have decided to spend a week here." Discord released his grip on me and held a claw to his jaw. "Well, I might as well be off then. No fun here." I began laughing. Very hard. Was he for real? "You think Earth is boring? Dude, I know you love chaos and the like. This planet is filled with chaos." Discord's ears twitched at what I said. He turned to face me with a smirk. "Is that so?" I nod with a grin. "You won't find another species that's more violent, unforgiving or insane. You can bet on it." Discord pondered this for a second before smiling and giving me a hug. "Well, in that case I might stay for a bit. Oh, don't worry I'll be out of your way." The last part of his sentence was directed towards Luna's frown, which became a smile. He released me and with a snap of his fingers, he was suddenly wearing a very bright floral shirt with sunglasses and a straw hat. "I think I'll go to a tropical destination first. Toodles." Another snap of his fingers and the draconequus was gone. I sigh heavily and slump back on the roof. "Glad he's gone. What time is it?" Luna glanced up at the sky. "Roughly 7am. Dawn is breaking." I grunt and roll off the roof, landing on my feet and scratching my head in grogginess. "I'm going back to bed. It's a frickin' weekend." Luna waved at me as I retired back to my room and slumped back down in my bed, falling asleep instantly. I woke up at around 9am. Figuring I wasn't gunna get anymore sleep I went outside to check on the girls. I knocked on the door and it flung open to reveal Luna and Chrysalis playing The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon on my PS2 co-op mode. Chrysalis was Cynder and Luna was Spyro. Celestia looked at me with frustration. "These two have been playing that game for ages now. It's starting to bug me." I nodded in agreement. From the level I could see they were very far in. They were already at Warfang. "I figured I'd take you all out to see a movie playing at the local church tonight." Celestia looked at me with confusion. "Then what shall we do until then?" I smiled and held up a finger. "Gimme a minute." I ran back inside and grabbed my Wii along with the game Mario Kart Wii. I'm gunna show them how a professional plays. I couldn't fucking believe it. Every time I got 1st Luna would somehow streak past me, putting me in 2nd. Chrysalis was 4th while Celestia was 7th or 8th normally. As I crossed the finish line of Rainbow Road behind Luna I groaned and dropped the Wii remote on my lap while Luna jumped up with joy. "Ah-HA! I have bested you!" I grunt and slam my head on the table. After a couple more hours of competitive gaming with Wii Sports and Just Dance 4 we were all tired. We had spent hours shouting at each other. Many tears were shed and many friendships were tested, but we prevailed. Thank god my dad sleeps on weekends. He leaves me to cater for myself, which isn't that bad. I made the girls some lunch earlier. It was now 7pm as the three of us walked down the street I lived on, heading for the local church. As I explained in Equestria I was an atheist. Thankfully though, you don't need to pass a "Religion Check" or anything of the sort. Heh. If that actually happened that would be hilarious. We walked up to the church and I noticed the three looking around, taking in their surroundings. Celestia spoke up and pointed to a cross. "That is the symbol you told us represented a religion here." I nodded. "Yeah. This is a church for Christians. Like I said though, I'm not religious." "Will they still allow us entry?" "They should, yeah." We walked in through the front doors and took a seat. Where there would be a priest stood a massive whiteboard and in the back of the room stood a projector. In all my life I've only ever been to a church once before now, and that was for a funeral. This wasn't entirely new but to the three next to me it was a whole new experience. After a couple of minutes people started pouring in and the lights dimmed. There wasn't that many people to be honest. Well, it is a small town we all live in here. The projector began playing and on screen the icons of many companies were displayed. Celestia leaned over towards me. "What movie did you say we are watching?" I crack a grin, for we are watching a movie that I loved. "We are watching Austin Powers Goldmember." I walked out of the church with a smile on my face. That movie made me laugh every time I watched it. Luna followed behind me still giggling, Chrysalis wore a small smile while Celestia stood next to her with confusion plastered on her face. "That movie....made no sense." I chuckled and threw my head back to address her. "It's not supposed to. That's where the comedy lies." The three of us walked home and went to our respective rooms. I sat down at my computer and launched Fallout: New Vegas. I laughed and patted my monitor. "Of all the things on this beautiful planet, I missed you most of all." I heard a loud shout come from outside. Unfortunately it was Luna's Canterlot Voice. "BLUE SHELLS ARE THE WORK OF EVIL! I WILL THROW YOU INTO A DUNGEON WHEN WE GET BACK, CHRYSALIS!" I laughed harder and began walking to Freeside to have a chat to the Kings about me getting a hold of a certain cyberdog as a companion. Day 2 - Discorded Vacation(Note; This is set after Discord visited Luna and Crystal. And yes, this is a first person perspecti- OH GOD NO DISCORD! BACK OFF- Well now, what do we have here? A fanfic? Booooring. Anyway, this is *my** chapter now.)* Day 2 - Discorded Vacation Well, isn't this lovely? Here I am, lying back in the sand on a beach somewhere in a place called Hawaii. This is simply beautiful. I see a few humans walk by and scream as they see my form. I raised an eyebrow to a certain little girl staring at me. "What? Can't you see I'm busy here?" The girl merely blinks, a sign of her ignorance to the danger I pose to her safety. Of course I would never harm any creature on purpose, though. "You look weird." I roll my eyes. Literally. I grabbed my eyeballs and rolled them like dice. "Well, obviously. Even I knew how much of a beast I look. Thanks for the compliment, now shoo." I waved my paw and claw towards her for emphasis. She got the message and waddled off. I sigh and lie back closing my eyes. "Crystal said this place was chaotic. Well, not this place. But I must say this is luxurious." A dark shape blocks the light on my face, making me crack an eye open in annoyance. "And what, prey tell, do you want?" He was a black male, wearing a suit and was also sporting an earpiece. He was also bald. "Excuse me for any inconvenience. I must ask, who and what are you?" I laugh lightly and wave a claw. "Ah ah ah! You first." The man nodded and flipped out a CIA badge from his pocket. "My name is Cobra Bubbles. I'm with the CIA." I stare at him a few seconds longer. "Bubbles?" "Yes. Bubbles." I groan and rub my head. "Your voice and stature contradict your own name." He nods in agreement. "Yes, I'm well aware. Your turn to talk." "Why my name is Discord! I'm a draconequus." Cobra didn't react in any physical way. I knew he wanted more than that. "A draconequus is an alien race of chimera-like beings. I am the last of my kind. I am also the spiritual embodiment of chaos itself." Cobra still didn't react. I sighed. "And I'm here on vacation. There. That's all." Cobra nodded. "I best be off then. Carry on, sir." Cobra walked away casually from me. "Well, that was weird." I lie back on the sands and enjoy the rest of my day. Day 3 - teh internetzDay 3 - teh internetz So, how was your day? Good? That's good.... My day? WEEEELLLLLLLL..... *5 Hours Earlier* My Dad left to go on a swap meet for 2 weeks....Which means the girls can go inside.... Which means they found me on my Desktop.... I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. Chrysalis was lying on my bed reading my copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban while Luna and Celestia were staring at my screen with curiosity. Luna tapped the screen where my crosshair was while I was playing my Mechromancer class in Borderlands 2 as I was trying to kill the Handsome Sorcerer in Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep DLC campaign. As the Sorcerer summoned out dragons for the millionth time I began shooting away with my Binary Evie and the dragons began dying one by one. I heard Celestia cough in disgust. "So, this game is just all about killing creatures in order to win 'loot' and become a 'badass'?" I nod without speaking a reply. "How barbaric." I hold back a grunt of anger. Celestia seemed to be one of those people like "Oh my god! Video games are so violent! Children are in danger!". I pause my game and turn a head to her. "The whole point of a video game is to do and experience things that you cannot legally or normally do in reality. I can't go to a distant planet and kill shit here, so I pretend to on a computer." I heard the gun shots and music blare from the speakers. I turn to find Luna had pushed the Escape key and unpaused the game. "Oh shit!" I grab my mouse and put my hands on my keyboard but it was too late. I entered Fight For Your Life mode and watch as my DeathTrap killed the last dragon, giving me a Second Wind. I sighed and paused the screen, giving Luna a death glare. "You have no idea how hard this boss is. If I die, I'm gunna be angry." I do admit that the Handsome Sorcerer is the most fun boss fight in the entire game, but even I don't wanna fight him more than once. Luna merely sighs and moves to sit on my bed, loading up Mario Kart on my Wii. After I defeat him I search through all the loot and found a Legendary, the Gentlemens Volcano. 'I've already got like 3 of these.' I sigh and exit the game, bringing up my desktop of Sora from Kingdom Hearts II in all his Drive Forms. I was about to load up Left 4 Dead 2 (Celestia doesn't like gore, eh? Mwhahaha) but instead my eyes drifted over to the Google Chrome icon. I crack a devious grin and turn to Celestia. "Remember the internet back at school?" She nods and I turn to my screen. "The school block certain sites and programs on their computers. My one however is free of the restrictions." I click open Google Chrome and smile. "I'm going to introduce you to the true face of the internet." I load up Google and type in 'YouTube'. "First stop, YouTube." I scoot through the main page of the infamous video sharing site, trying to find a good video. I found the perfect one, as well as the perfect channel. "SexualLobster." I click open the video 'Pleasure Island' and lean back, allowing Celestia a clear view. Youtube Video I smile and looked to Celestia. her expression was...interesting. A mixture of shock, amusement and interest. "That was....something." I laugh and look through some more usernames. "Yeah. SexualLobster makes tonnes of videos much like that one." "We're not going to watch another one, are we?" I laugh again and shake my head. "Oh no. We are watching...." I scroll through the videos and stumble across someone awesome. "Markiplier." I load up his video 'Drunk Minecraft | Goku's Nipples'. Youtube Video Unlike last time Celestia had clear amusement across her face. She was laughing the entire video. "Okay, that Mark guy is quite hilarious." I nod in agreement. "Eeyup. Wade is a tool." "Indeed." I continue scrolling until I found the Yogscast video 'Minecraft - "Shadow of Israphel" Part 1: Crash and Burn'. Youtube Video Eventually me and Celestia watched up until the 30th episode. "That was rather entertaining." I smile with a nod. "This was the series that gave them a majority of their fans, after all." Celestia nodded and leaned forward. Luna and Chrysalis still doing the same thing. "Is there anything else you can show me?" I smile and type and address in the URL bar. "Ooooh yeah. I know a good place." I slam the enter key, jump up from my chair and offer it to Celestia with a devious grin. "4Chan." *3 Hours Later* "CRYSTAL I SWEAR TO FAUST I WILL SPIT ROAST YOUR HIDE!" I laughed as I heard Celestia shout from my room. Me, Luna and Chrysalis were currently enjoying a competitive game of Super Smash Bros. Brawl in the caravan. My mains are Ike and Pit if you were wondering. I was currently using Ike, Chrysalis lost with Kirby and Luna was currently in a heated match with Meta Knight and me. Luna was about to use her Super Smash when I dodged it and used Ike's heavy hit, knocking her out and earning me victory. As I jumped up and fist pumped, Celestia slammed the door open with a death glare towards me. I stopped jumping and put on a sheepish smile. "Um, how'd it go?" Celestia said nothing and merely raised her right hand with a deadpan look. After a few seconds a ball of lighting appeared in her palm. "Let me show you how it went..." Eep. Day 4 - Discord Vs. The WorldSo....I'm back in Equestria with Roseluck and the fillies. What? How am I here? Well, it all started on the fourth day on Earth.... *A Few Hours Ago* Me and the three girls were sitting in the lounge room watching Doctor Who (Bit weird since I've met the Timelord 'imself) when Discord snapped into existence in front of us with a worried look. "Alright, time to go!" I wave a hand and shake my head at the demigod. "Dude, it hasn't even been a week yet and-" "I pissed off the CIA and they're right outside your house." ..... "What!?" "Oh, and also the author ran out of ideas for the future chapters." .... "WHAT?!" "Can we just go RIGHT NOW PLEASE?!" I sigh and nod in disbelief. "Fine. Let's go." *Present* I now stand before Roseluck and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. All of which looked at me with wide smiles. The Princesses are back in their regal alicorn forms as well as Chrysalis is back to her Changeling form. I open my arms wide and try to imitate Lord Voldemort. "I have...returned." Couldn't help myself.
Prologue - Just A Different School DayPrologue - Just A Different School Day I got up from my bed, screw driver in hand, and walked over to my mirror. I stared into the eyes that greeted me. Eeyup. This is all real. My normal dreams are never in great detail. If this was a dream I wouldn't be able to see myself in detail. I groaned and grabbed the back of my head. What the hell happened? A few minutes ago I was enjoying my own 16th birthday party, why am I back here?! I grunted and lowered my hands. I glanced towards the screw driver in my hand. I'm both unhappy and grateful to still have it. It proves that Equestria is indeed real and was not a dream, but it doesn't offer me a way back to Equestria. At this point the very knowledge of Equestria's existing is worthless as I have no way of returning. the thought of never seeing those ponies again brings me to the edge of tears. My dad pounded on the door, waking me from my thoughts. "Mate, the bus'll be here soon!" I sigh and look around for my bag, only to remember it was in Rose's house along with my laptop and DSi. Shit. "Yeah dad, I'll be gone soon." I put on shoes and walked out of my bedroom. My dad eyed me weirdly as he watched me walk out of the house. "Bye, mate." I grunt. "Later, dad." I slam the door shut and begin making my way to the bus. This has all put me in shock. I cannot believe I am back in this shit hole. I feel so empty. Guess this is what Ulquiorra Cifer feels like. I hate this feeling. While I was silently bashing myself I must've made it to the bus stop. I leaned against the tree and waited for the bus. When it came and stopped by me I silently climbed aboard and sat in my old seat, staring out the window. I have no idea how I will be able to adjust from this.... As time passed, we arrived at a stop I had long since forgotten even existed. We arrived at Colby's stop. When he saw me he cracked an evil grin and sat next to me. I was too engrossed in my thoughts to care. "Hey, mate." I continued ignoring him. He wasn't a top priority right now. In fact, he was the least of my worries. I shuffled around and heard paper crumbling inside my pockets. Curious, I reached inside and pulled out the source of the noise. Colby was facing the opposite direction talking to somepo- someone else..... The paper was a card, a birthday card by the looks of it. Unfortunately for me, it was from Rose. Looks like she stowed it away without telling me. To my misery, I opened the card and read silently aloud. "Dear Crystal, I've only known you for about 3 or 4 months, yet I feel like I've known you all my life. You and I just click and I love it. I hope you enjoy your birthday! XoXo, Roseluck." It felt like my chest was being torn in half and my heart was being ripped out. Roseluck.... Colby snatched the card away from me and began reading it. I was still shocked from what I read. "HahaHA! Well, looks like Crystal got himself a bitch! She tight? Bet she's a cum guzzler." When I heard what he said, my fist smashed his face with such ferocity he was flung into the seats on the opposite side of the bus. I grabbed the card and stowed it away. Colby was knocked out and bleeding from everywhere. I didn't care anymore. Nothing matters now. The bus was just about to pass the stop Chrysalis boarded that fateful day. Except it stopped. Shocked, I looked to who was about to board. My jaw fucking dropped. The first to board was a girl with multi-coloured hair composed of various shades, mainly pink and blue. She had light pink eyes. The next to follow was a girl with royal blue hair and blue eyes. Finally, Chrissy was following behind the blue haired one. Without a single fucking doubt in my mind, I knew the first 2 were Princess Celestia and Luna. Chrysalis was blindingly obvious. Chrysalis sat next to me while Luna and Celestia sat behind me. The bus began moving once again and I turned to Chrysalis. "I want an explanation. Like, right fucking now." Chrysalis nodded and the Princesses leaned forward. Celestia was the first to speak. "The reason for you being here once again is the fault of a certain draconnequs. Discord thought that by removing you it would cause some chaos for him. Granted, he never wished to hurt anypony. He was merely bored." I shook my head and gestured around. "Then why is it 2013?" Luna cleared her throat. "Discord reversed time. For a being such as him, it was an easy task. However, it is an extremely difficult task for him to bring you back. So me and Celestia instantly went to Chrysalis to come and retrieve you." I nodded slowly. Chrysalis smiled lightly. "Do not fear about the time flux, for in Equestria right now not even a single minute has yet to passed. There is plenty of time to bring you back." I frowned. "But I wanna go back now!" Celestia nodded with a light smile. "And I am glad to hear that. However, me and Luna decided that as long as we are here, we wish to experience this world first hoof ourselves." It took me a while to understand, but I couldn't blame em. We had plenty of time and they wish to see a new world. I know how they felt. I sighed and nodded. "Okay then. How long do you wish to stay here?" Luna tapped her chin with a finger. It creeps me out not seeing her as an alicorn. "We planned to stay for perhaps a week? Maybe 5 days?" I nodded and smiled. "Alrighty then. A week sounds fine." I turned back to the window and smiled brightly. I didn't care if I had to wait a week before I got to see Rose again, I'm fucking thankful the princesses and Chrysalis are here to take me back to her and the fillies. Oh christ, this will be a challenge.
Day 1 - Educational SystemDay 1 - Educational System Well, there I sat aboard the bus. Sitting near me were three girls who were from another universe. One was a bug-like creature who feeds on love while the other two move the celestial bodies. Sounds like a bad script for some weird arse fanfic. So while Luna and Celestia were talking to themselves behind us, me and Chrysalis were left to each other. "So, Chrissy-" "Don't call me that." Well, that surprised me. I nod slowly and clear my throat. "So, Chrysalis, how much time passed in Equestria before you came here?" Chrysalis shrugged nonchalantly. "Roughly 3 minutes. I acted very quickly and alerted Celestia and Luna via teleport. They agreed to come here as soon as possible." I chuckled and scratched my head. "3 minutes? Christ, Dash would be jealous at that speed. How did you pull that off?" Chrysalis smirked and waved a finger. "You can do a lot in 3 minutes." I held back a loud laugh at that, reminding me of the Doctor. "So, you teleported to the Princesses and brought 'em here. Good job, Chrysalis. I owe ya my life. I don't know how long I'd be able to keep my sanity if I knew I could never go back to you, Roseluck and the fillies." Chrysalis shrugged once again and looked away from me. "Yeah, sure." Okay, what the hell? Chrysalis has been acting a bit distant from me ever since she arrived here. "Chrysalis, is something bothering you?" She shook her head once again. "No, why would you ask?" "Well, for one thing you seem to be distracted." She turned her head to face me very quickly. Her eyes showed fury. "That idiot Discord thinks that he could bring you here and not upset anypony?! I swear...." She raised a tightly clenched fist. "When we get back to Equestria, I will personally rip out his chaotic heart!" She slammed her fist into her open hand, trying to emphasize her point. She crossed her arms and slumped back into the chair. "Wow, Chrysalis. All he did was bring me here. Honestly I am also angry at him, but not that angry." She huffed and stayed in her position. "I don't care. He deserves to pay after what he did to you, me and everypony else." I sighed and looked out the window. "Excuse us, but we need to ask you something Crystal." I twisted my head to face Celestia. "Hm?" "Where are we going?" I twist the rest of my body around to face her with a confused look. "Didn't Chrysalis inform you of anything?" "No. By the time we got here this vehicle was nearly her. She merely told us to follow her lead. I must admit, I had to hold back Luna. She was glad to see you are okay." Celestia's head was pulled back and replaced with Luna's adorably smiling face. "We are glad to see you are well Crystal!" She did that thing where they smile then make a squeak noise before her head was pulled back and replaced with Celestia's. "As I was saying, where are we going?" I got over the fact that Luna did the smile-squeak and cleared my throat. "We're going to my school. I am only 16, remember. Oh wait, am I still over 3000 or did that change?" Celestia nodded. "Indeed. Discord reversed time here, not in your biology." I fist pump. "Wicked." Celestia rolled her eyes and sunk back into her seat. Chrysalis coughed, which brought my attention back to her. "Hey, Chrysalis?" "What." I reached over and grabbed her in a hug. "Thanks for coming back here and getting me." She kept her arms crossed for a few seconds before giving in with a smile and returning the hug. "What are friends for?" I smiled and broke the hug. I looked out the window and saw many buildings passing us by. "We're almost there. Just a bit longer." I heard Chrysalis laugh very loudly. I looked back to see her poking Colby's unconscious body. She looked back to me with the most amused face ever. "Did you do this to him?" I smirk and nod. She laughs harder. "That fucker deserved it." I laughed and nudged her. "Some of my vocabulary sinking in to you or something?" She giggles lightly and gives me a wink. ~~~~~First Period, English in C6 ~~~~~ Me and Chrysalis had no problems finding our lockers and checking our classes. We needed to get Celestia and Luna some equipment (Chrysalis used a spell and just magicked some in) but other than that everything was going smoothly. We had English first off. Others would hate the subject, but I find it rather easy. The subjects I excel at are English, History, and IT. But I suck horribly at Maths. So anyway, we sat in the classroom with about 17 other students. I always preferred sitting in the front of any class. Dunno why. We were waiting for the teacher Mr. Kelly to come in and teach us about whatever. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to face Luna. She and Chrysalis sat either side of me and Celestia was seated on the other side of Luna. "Why do you need a class to teach you about a language you already speak?" I lightly laugh. I ask myself the same thing everyday. "Some students don't have a very good vocabulary. I for one have an impressive vocabulary for my age. It kinda irritates me when a student doesn't know a word that is so simple to me yet impossible to them." She nods in agreement. "When I came back from the moon, I still spoke in olde tongue. I needed to learn how to speak modern Equestrian." I almost forgot about that. I can relate to Luna. I'm basically in the same situation she was right now... At that moment the teacher walked in about 15 minutes late. He turned to the class and nodded curtly. "Good mourning, class." The rest of the class mumbled a response. I heard a scoff and looked to see Celestia with an unamused look on her face. The teacher walked over to his desk and pulled out a large folder. He opened it up and began speaking. "Today we are-" The door to the classroom swung open and revealed a male student. He looked sweaty and slightly shaky. "Sorry I'm late-" "No excuses. Detention after 2nd Period. Come to my office." The student cringed slightly and sighed, looking down in shame. "Yes, Mr. Kelly." The student walked to the back and sat in the last row of tables. 'Who does he think he is?' Holy fucking duck shit that made me jump slightly. I recognized the voice as Luna's, but I heard it inside my head. 'What do you mean, Luna?' I ain't questionin' how she's in my head. Because magic. 'He thinks he can stroll in the class at any time without an excuse and he punishes a student who does the same? With Celestia and Twilight, every class they had both of them had to be punctual.' I mentally laugh. 'Guess that's where Twilight developed her OCD-like personality, right?' Luna lightly nodded. Mr. Kelly stood up and walked to the whiteboard with a marker. "Okay everyone. Turn to a new page of your notebook and start writing this down." I open my book and pull out a pen from my pencil case. Celestia and Luna watched me carefully and copied me. Chrysalis was already set before he even asked. He began writing down these 'complicated' words and their meanings, telling us it was all in preparation for an upcoming topic. I looked over to Chrysalis. She was writing down the words without flaw. When I looked over to Luna and Celestia though... They had not written anything down. I nudge Luna in the shoulder and whisper to her. "Why haven't you written anything?" She leaned towards me. "We cannot read the words! We only read Equestrian languages. This is alien to us!" I instantly donned the 'Oh Shit' face at the realization. I quickly glance back to Chrysalis. She was writing down the words like a pro. I sigh and look to Luna. "Can't you, like, magic the words into your head or something?!" It was really hard to talk quietly. Mr. Kelly looked behind him and shushed us. Me and Luna lowered our heads. "I can read the knowledge inside another mind and learn it that way. It works much like Telepathy." I groan lightly. "Fine. Do it to me." She nods and lowers her forehead to mine. What happened next felt.......strange if anything. First it felt like my brain turned to water and was flowing out of my ears towards Luna. It stopped as soon as it started. Luna leaned away and winked. "Thank you." I nod and wave a hand. "Yeah. Anything for a friend." Luna smiled and looked back to the board and began taking down words. I took a look to Celestia and saw she must've done the same to another. Heh. I groan and look to the board and began taking down notes. After fucking christ knows how long he stopped writing and merely went to his desk and took a seat. I was almost done writing everything down. I glance to Luna and Celestia. They had already written everything. I groan and looked to Chrysalis. Yep. Everything is down. I sigh and continue writing. 'God, the things I would do if I was a freakin' Alicorn.' 'What would you do?' I laugh quietly. 'Luna you have no idea how much of a rarity you are here. We have *no** magic here. If everyone could do what you could, this world would be so much simpler and peaceful.*' I finished writing and looked to Luna. She was staring at her page with a sad look. 'Is this world really as bad as you told Celestia?' I frown and sigh. '...Yes. This world is dangerous and terrible. But there is some good in it. Some, very small amount of good.' I glance to Luna. She was smiling lightly. 'Is that why you wish to return to Equestria?' 'Well that and Roseluck.' Luna smiled wider at that. *Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding.* The classroom erupted into noise as everyone collected their possessions and left to go to the next class. ~~~~~4th Period, IT in F8 ~~~~~ Me and Celestia sat together at one computer while Luna and Chrysalis sat together at the computer adjacent to us. "So this computer is much like your tiny laptop but more powerful?" I nodded with a frustrated look. Teaching IT to someone who knows nothing about it is a pain. "Yeah. This can do all the things my laptop can but better. Well, not better than mine. Ever since I upgraded my laptop with my screw driver it beats this thing by miles. But normally laptops are weaker than these computers." She nodded and started randomly tapping keys. "Interesting." I roll my eyes and look to Luna and Chrysalis. The were playing a game on a school monitored site and they looked like they were having a blast. I flip out my screwdriver and duck under the desk while Celestia was moving the mouse and tapping the keyboard. I put the screwdriver in my mouth and pulled the case of the tower out. I looked inside to see the hardware. i3 Processor. Not bad, but not great. 1GB RAM. That's fucking terrible. The only graphics card in here was the on board one, an Intel (HD) GPU. Time for an upgrade. I aim my screwdriver at the interior and sonicked it. I slapped the casing back on and dusted my hands. I rose up to see Celestia on Google Images looking at phoenix's. "Don't you have a pet phoenix?" Celestia smiled and nodded. "Yes, I do. Perhaps I shall get one of her eggs for a birthday present for you." My eyes grew wide. A pet phoenix? ....... THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME! I shook my head before I became comatose and began drooling. I reached over and grabbed the mouse and keyboard from Celestia's grasp. "Wanna play a prank?" Celestia grew a wicked smile and looked to me expectantly. "What did you have in mind?" I laugh heartily and crack my knuckles. "Look over to Luna and Chrysalis as I work my magic." Celestia looked over and saw them playing "Paint Ninja" on the school website while laughing with joy. Until my virus program got into their computer and froze the screen. Chrysalis stopped laughing and tapped the screen, hoping to make it work. Sadly the screen went black pixel by pixel and went completely black. Chrysalis and Luna looked at each other with frowns. "The fun has been subtracted." I chuckled and Celestia looked over to me. I was leaning back in the chair with my screwdriver spinning on a finger. She laughed mischievously. "How did you do that?" I raise a finger to my lips. "My secret." ~~~~~End of Day ~~~~~ Me, Celestia and Luna climbed aboard the bus and we all sat in the same seats. I look over to the Princesses. "So, what did you think of school?" Celestia huffed. "Besides the nerve of the first teacher, it's not bad." Luna smiled with a nod. "Indeed. Me and Chrysalis were having a joyous time on the computers. Until the machine stopped working." Me and Celestia held back a laugh. Chrysalis smiled. "It was great, Crystal." I grinned widely. Glad to see everything going alright. After a minute I saw Colby climb aboard and look over to me. His face grew a fearful expression as he sat in the 2nd row far away from us. Chrysalis smirked brightly. "That's right, wanker." ~Later At Home, Backyard~ Me and the 3 girls were looking at the caravan In my backyard. I smiled bashfully and waved a hand towards it. "As long as you be careful, Dad won't even know you're here. It's got power and water so you won't be cold. There are 2 queen sized beds and 2 bunk beds. Sorry I don't have a better set up for ya." Luna smiled and gave me a massive hug. Her boobs were like right up in my face. "Thank you, Crystal." "CAN'T. BREATHE." Luna pulls away and I gulp down air like a vacuum. That's the second time this has happened to me. I smile weakly and open the door for them. "I'll get you food when I can. In the meantime I'll get my PlayStation 2 set up out here for you three." Luna and Celestia climbed inside the caravan. Chrysalis hung outside with a unsure look on her face. I smile like a goofball and laugh. "What's wrong? I ain't carrying you in." Chrysalis laughed at my joke. "Can't blame a girl for trying." She climbs inside and I close the door. "Good night!" I stroll back inside my house and sneak into my bedroom. I hop on my PC with a big smile. 'Not long before I return, Rose. Just wait a little bit longer.' I bark a laugh at the irony of the statement. 'Well, *I** gotta wait longer. To you it's like 5 minutes have passed.*'
Day 2 - EntertainmentDay 2 - Entertainment I woke up in the middle of the night and looked over to my alarm clock. What the fuck? It's 3am?! Oh for fuck sake. I groan and slump back into my bed. No chance in hell I'll be able to sleep now. Brilliant. I sigh and turn around in my bed and look out the window. I saw the caravan in the backyard, along with a silhouette of a person in the moonlight sitting on top of the said caravan. Okay, this warrants an investigation. I roll out of my bed and land on my feet. As I walk out into the backyard I look up to the top of the caravan. Yep. Still there. I sighed and jumped up, grabbed the edge of the roof and flung myself up. I heard a gasp and felt a fist smash my face. I fell over and landed on the ground. "Ow. Oi! Who's there?!" "Crystal?" "Luna? Did you just seriously punch me?!" "I thought you were a-" "A what? What could be out here at this time?!" "I don't know! It's your world, not mine!" I groan and stand up. My back was killing me. I saw Luna peak her head over the edge of the roof with a sad look upon her face in the dim moonlight with a light blush. "I'm sorry." I stretch and hear a pop come from my back. "It's cool." I jump up once again and fling myself onto the roof. "What are you doing up here?" She smiled and looked to the sky. Specifically, towards the moon. "You told us that your moon moves on its on and does not require an alicorns power." She reaches a hand out towards the celestial object. "You never told us how beautiful it was." I smile lightly and look around the sky. "I also told you about our constellations. Too bad I can't find any right now." She followed my gaze and looked up to the night sky. "It does not matter. Still a beautiful landscape." I lie back on the cold roof and sigh with content. I used to do this every night. Granted I still did this when I was in Equestria. Luna followed my lead and sighed as she lied on the roof. We stayed there for who knows how long before I started to doze off. The last thing I saw was the moon hanging above us. I was woken by Luna shaking me. Of course being the lazy arse I was... "No...I need sleepy sleeps..." "Crystal we have company." I grunted in response. So in response to my response Luna jabbed me in the gut. I instantly sat up. "Ow! What do you-" When I saw what company we had I nearly choked. Discord himself was suspended in the air in front of us with a maddening smile. "Ha-AH! Found you! Look, Lulu! I figured out how to get here! All by myself!" Luna rolled her eyes at the statement. "If you would have come with us instead of being stubborn-" "I would look like a human. Bleh. Pass." Discord began back stroking through the air like water. He kept his gaze on me, still holding that smile. "And how are you?" I stand up and attempt to grab him by the neck, which failed as he swiftly backed away. "I'm fine now that I found you." He laughed heartily and moved closer to me. "Oh PLEASE. Even if you had the guts, you couldn't hurt me!" Granted, I was angry with Discord. But truth be told I couldn't. Sometimes I hate my rules. Discord laughed and disappeared, reappearing behind me and resting an arm across my shoulders. "Well, if you wanna come back just say the word! I can-" "We're staying, Discord." Discord looked to Luna with his mouth agape. "What?!" Luna stood up and nodded. "We have decided to spend a week here." Discord released his grip on me and held a claw to his jaw. "Well, I might as well be off then. No fun here." I began laughing. Very hard. Was he for real? "You think Earth is boring? Dude, I know you love chaos and the like. This planet is filled with chaos." Discord's ears twitched at what I said. He turned to face me with a smirk. "Is that so?" I nod with a grin. "You won't find another species that's more violent, unforgiving or insane. You can bet on it." Discord pondered this for a second before smiling and giving me a hug. "Well, in that case I might stay for a bit. Oh, don't worry I'll be out of your way." The last part of his sentence was directed towards Luna's frown, which became a smile. He released me and with a snap of his fingers, he was suddenly wearing a very bright floral shirt with sunglasses and a straw hat. "I think I'll go to a tropical destination first. Toodles." Another snap of his fingers and the draconequus was gone. I sigh heavily and slump back on the roof. "Glad he's gone. What time is it?" Luna glanced up at the sky. "Roughly 7am. Dawn is breaking." I grunt and roll off the roof, landing on my feet and scratching my head in grogginess. "I'm going back to bed. It's a frickin' weekend." Luna waved at me as I retired back to my room and slumped back down in my bed, falling asleep instantly. I woke up at around 9am. Figuring I wasn't gunna get anymore sleep I went outside to check on the girls. I knocked on the door and it flung open to reveal Luna and Chrysalis playing The Legend of Spyro: Dawn of the Dragon on my PS2 co-op mode. Chrysalis was Cynder and Luna was Spyro. Celestia looked at me with frustration. "These two have been playing that game for ages now. It's starting to bug me." I nodded in agreement. From the level I could see they were very far in. They were already at Warfang. "I figured I'd take you all out to see a movie playing at the local church tonight." Celestia looked at me with confusion. "Then what shall we do until then?" I smiled and held up a finger. "Gimme a minute." I ran back inside and grabbed my Wii along with the game Mario Kart Wii. I'm gunna show them how a professional plays. I couldn't fucking believe it. Every time I got 1st Luna would somehow streak past me, putting me in 2nd. Chrysalis was 4th while Celestia was 7th or 8th normally. As I crossed the finish line of Rainbow Road behind Luna I groaned and dropped the Wii remote on my lap while Luna jumped up with joy. "Ah-HA! I have bested you!" I grunt and slam my head on the table. After a couple more hours of competitive gaming with Wii Sports and Just Dance 4 we were all tired. We had spent hours shouting at each other. Many tears were shed and many friendships were tested, but we prevailed. Thank god my dad sleeps on weekends. He leaves me to cater for myself, which isn't that bad. I made the girls some lunch earlier. It was now 7pm as the three of us walked down the street I lived on, heading for the local church. As I explained in Equestria I was an atheist. Thankfully though, you don't need to pass a "Religion Check" or anything of the sort. Heh. If that actually happened that would be hilarious. We walked up to the church and I noticed the three looking around, taking in their surroundings. Celestia spoke up and pointed to a cross. "That is the symbol you told us represented a religion here." I nodded. "Yeah. This is a church for Christians. Like I said though, I'm not religious." "Will they still allow us entry?" "They should, yeah." We walked in through the front doors and took a seat. Where there would be a priest stood a massive whiteboard and in the back of the room stood a projector. In all my life I've only ever been to a church once before now, and that was for a funeral. This wasn't entirely new but to the three next to me it was a whole new experience. After a couple of minutes people started pouring in and the lights dimmed. There wasn't that many people to be honest. Well, it is a small town we all live in here. The projector began playing and on screen the icons of many companies were displayed. Celestia leaned over towards me. "What movie did you say we are watching?" I crack a grin, for we are watching a movie that I loved. "We are watching Austin Powers Goldmember." I walked out of the church with a smile on my face. That movie made me laugh every time I watched it. Luna followed behind me still giggling, Chrysalis wore a small smile while Celestia stood next to her with confusion plastered on her face. "That movie....made no sense." I chuckled and threw my head back to address her. "It's not supposed to. That's where the comedy lies." The three of us walked home and went to our respective rooms. I sat down at my computer and launched Fallout: New Vegas. I laughed and patted my monitor. "Of all the things on this beautiful planet, I missed you most of all." I heard a loud shout come from outside. Unfortunately it was Luna's Canterlot Voice. "BLUE SHELLS ARE THE WORK OF EVIL! I WILL THROW YOU INTO A DUNGEON WHEN WE GET BACK, CHRYSALIS!" I laughed harder and began walking to Freeside to have a chat to the Kings about me getting a hold of a certain cyberdog as a companion.
Day 2 - Discorded Vacation(Note; This is set after Discord visited Luna and Crystal. And yes, this is a first person perspecti- OH GOD NO DISCORD! BACK OFF- Well now, what do we have here? A fanfic? Booooring. Anyway, this is *my** chapter now.)* Day 2 - Discorded Vacation Well, isn't this lovely? Here I am, lying back in the sand on a beach somewhere in a place called Hawaii. This is simply beautiful. I see a few humans walk by and scream as they see my form. I raised an eyebrow to a certain little girl staring at me. "What? Can't you see I'm busy here?" The girl merely blinks, a sign of her ignorance to the danger I pose to her safety. Of course I would never harm any creature on purpose, though. "You look weird." I roll my eyes. Literally. I grabbed my eyeballs and rolled them like dice. "Well, obviously. Even I knew how much of a beast I look. Thanks for the compliment, now shoo." I waved my paw and claw towards her for emphasis. She got the message and waddled off. I sigh and lie back closing my eyes. "Crystal said this place was chaotic. Well, not this place. But I must say this is luxurious." A dark shape blocks the light on my face, making me crack an eye open in annoyance. "And what, prey tell, do you want?" He was a black male, wearing a suit and was also sporting an earpiece. He was also bald. "Excuse me for any inconvenience. I must ask, who and what are you?" I laugh lightly and wave a claw. "Ah ah ah! You first." The man nodded and flipped out a CIA badge from his pocket. "My name is Cobra Bubbles. I'm with the CIA." I stare at him a few seconds longer. "Bubbles?" "Yes. Bubbles." I groan and rub my head. "Your voice and stature contradict your own name." He nods in agreement. "Yes, I'm well aware. Your turn to talk." "Why my name is Discord! I'm a draconequus." Cobra didn't react in any physical way. I knew he wanted more than that. "A draconequus is an alien race of chimera-like beings. I am the last of my kind. I am also the spiritual embodiment of chaos itself." Cobra still didn't react. I sighed. "And I'm here on vacation. There. That's all." Cobra nodded. "I best be off then. Carry on, sir." Cobra walked away casually from me. "Well, that was weird." I lie back on the sands and enjoy the rest of my day.
Day 3 - teh internetzDay 3 - teh internetz So, how was your day? Good? That's good.... My day? WEEEELLLLLLLL..... *5 Hours Earlier* My Dad left to go on a swap meet for 2 weeks....Which means the girls can go inside.... Which means they found me on my Desktop.... I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. Chrysalis was lying on my bed reading my copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban while Luna and Celestia were staring at my screen with curiosity. Luna tapped the screen where my crosshair was while I was playing my Mechromancer class in Borderlands 2 as I was trying to kill the Handsome Sorcerer in Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep DLC campaign. As the Sorcerer summoned out dragons for the millionth time I began shooting away with my Binary Evie and the dragons began dying one by one. I heard Celestia cough in disgust. "So, this game is just all about killing creatures in order to win 'loot' and become a 'badass'?" I nod without speaking a reply. "How barbaric." I hold back a grunt of anger. Celestia seemed to be one of those people like "Oh my god! Video games are so violent! Children are in danger!". I pause my game and turn a head to her. "The whole point of a video game is to do and experience things that you cannot legally or normally do in reality. I can't go to a distant planet and kill shit here, so I pretend to on a computer." I heard the gun shots and music blare from the speakers. I turn to find Luna had pushed the Escape key and unpaused the game. "Oh shit!" I grab my mouse and put my hands on my keyboard but it was too late. I entered Fight For Your Life mode and watch as my DeathTrap killed the last dragon, giving me a Second Wind. I sighed and paused the screen, giving Luna a death glare. "You have no idea how hard this boss is. If I die, I'm gunna be angry." I do admit that the Handsome Sorcerer is the most fun boss fight in the entire game, but even I don't wanna fight him more than once. Luna merely sighs and moves to sit on my bed, loading up Mario Kart on my Wii. After I defeat him I search through all the loot and found a Legendary, the Gentlemens Volcano. 'I've already got like 3 of these.' I sigh and exit the game, bringing up my desktop of Sora from Kingdom Hearts II in all his Drive Forms. I was about to load up Left 4 Dead 2 (Celestia doesn't like gore, eh? Mwhahaha) but instead my eyes drifted over to the Google Chrome icon. I crack a devious grin and turn to Celestia. "Remember the internet back at school?" She nods and I turn to my screen. "The school block certain sites and programs on their computers. My one however is free of the restrictions." I click open Google Chrome and smile. "I'm going to introduce you to the true face of the internet." I load up Google and type in 'YouTube'. "First stop, YouTube." I scoot through the main page of the infamous video sharing site, trying to find a good video. I found the perfect one, as well as the perfect channel. "SexualLobster." I click open the video 'Pleasure Island' and lean back, allowing Celestia a clear view. Youtube Video I smile and looked to Celestia. her expression was...interesting. A mixture of shock, amusement and interest. "That was....something." I laugh and look through some more usernames. "Yeah. SexualLobster makes tonnes of videos much like that one." "We're not going to watch another one, are we?" I laugh again and shake my head. "Oh no. We are watching...." I scroll through the videos and stumble across someone awesome. "Markiplier." I load up his video 'Drunk Minecraft | Goku's Nipples'. Youtube Video Unlike last time Celestia had clear amusement across her face. She was laughing the entire video. "Okay, that Mark guy is quite hilarious." I nod in agreement. "Eeyup. Wade is a tool." "Indeed." I continue scrolling until I found the Yogscast video 'Minecraft - "Shadow of Israphel" Part 1: Crash and Burn'. Youtube Video Eventually me and Celestia watched up until the 30th episode. "That was rather entertaining." I smile with a nod. "This was the series that gave them a majority of their fans, after all." Celestia nodded and leaned forward. Luna and Chrysalis still doing the same thing. "Is there anything else you can show me?" I smile and type and address in the URL bar. "Ooooh yeah. I know a good place." I slam the enter key, jump up from my chair and offer it to Celestia with a devious grin. "4Chan." *3 Hours Later* "CRYSTAL I SWEAR TO FAUST I WILL SPIT ROAST YOUR HIDE!" I laughed as I heard Celestia shout from my room. Me, Luna and Chrysalis were currently enjoying a competitive game of Super Smash Bros. Brawl in the caravan. My mains are Ike and Pit if you were wondering. I was currently using Ike, Chrysalis lost with Kirby and Luna was currently in a heated match with Meta Knight and me. Luna was about to use her Super Smash when I dodged it and used Ike's heavy hit, knocking her out and earning me victory. As I jumped up and fist pumped, Celestia slammed the door open with a death glare towards me. I stopped jumping and put on a sheepish smile. "Um, how'd it go?" Celestia said nothing and merely raised her right hand with a deadpan look. After a few seconds a ball of lighting appeared in her palm. "Let me show you how it went..." Eep.
Day 4 - Discord Vs. The WorldSo....I'm back in Equestria with Roseluck and the fillies. What? How am I here? Well, it all started on the fourth day on Earth.... *A Few Hours Ago* Me and the three girls were sitting in the lounge room watching Doctor Who (Bit weird since I've met the Timelord 'imself) when Discord snapped into existence in front of us with a worried look. "Alright, time to go!" I wave a hand and shake my head at the demigod. "Dude, it hasn't even been a week yet and-" "I pissed off the CIA and they're right outside your house." ..... "What!?" "Oh, and also the author ran out of ideas for the future chapters." .... "WHAT?!" "Can we just go RIGHT NOW PLEASE?!" I sigh and nod in disbelief. "Fine. Let's go." *Present* I now stand before Roseluck and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. All of which looked at me with wide smiles. The Princesses are back in their regal alicorn forms as well as Chrysalis is back to her Changeling form. I open my arms wide and try to imitate Lord Voldemort. "I have...returned." Couldn't help myself.
