Chapters Hello. My name is ELISE B. and, for a couple moments, I would like to take the time to educate you on the history of THE LUNAVERSE.MOV project. It's history is not too complicated, but I feel like I need to go over it anyways, since PRINCESS LUNA FAUST does not adress it that well. Think of this as a brief fanfiction bible, or possible one of those opening text crawls. In any matter...
For those of you unfarmilliar with the series, let me fill you in: TRIXIE LULAMOON replaces TWILIGHT SPARKLE and PRINCESS LUNA FAUST replaces PRINCESS CELESTIA FAUST. It's not any more complicated then that and, in all honesty, could never happen in real canon unless it was horribly twisted around and PRINCESS CELESTIA FAUST went hoirrbly out of character, possibly replaced with one of the million version of her floating around out there.
Moving on, the idea for the mini-series came about after the filming of season 2 wrapped up. It was going to be quite a while before season 3 began (and, even then, seaosn 3 was only scheduled to have 13 episodes), so TRIXIE LULAMOON asked if they could do a little side project, with just her and the other members of the LUNA6 (if you've forgotten, they are as follows: CARROT TOP, DERPY HOOVES, LYRA HEARTSTRINGS, RAINDROPS and CHERILEE). The idea was OK and they were given two weeks to produce something.
Now, it was LYRA HEARTSTRING's idea to take the more adult theme the regular series had been taking and just stretch it out to much darker, but play it for laughs. So they decided to do that and immedeately started writing a script - however, they sort of ran into a problem when they found out that none of them were funny. To solve this problem, they outsourced to a schmuck by the name of THAT GAMER, who has stated in interviews since that he has never really cared about the LUNAVERSE up until that point and, even to this day, hasn't.
Wanting to make a little extra money, THAT GAMER agreed and very quickly pointed out that what they wanted resembled the .MOV series by a certain other fellow I forget the name of. Realizing this (and not wanting to be sued for plagirizing), they quickly modled the script around the series. It still took one week to write.
After the script was finished, with several episodes in all, they started a very rushed production, that you will see eventually. Due to it's poor quality, the mini-series never made it past the very beginning of the editing stage, though LUNA has kept in her collection, which is why we are able to show it to you.
Since the mini-series failure, the 6 were very reluctant to talk about it, though, in one interview, DERPY HOOVES gave away pretty much the entire story and a few details about the production that wasn't known up until that point - for example, the pony formely known as BONBON ghost wrote the part she appears in, alongside COLGATE and TWILIGHT SPARKLE.
It is, in all honesty, an interesting piece to look at, if not to see that the LUNAVERSE could fail in some way, though it is still not accepted as part of the series, mostly because it does not feature SALAMANDERS or an evil PRINCESS CELESTIA FAUST.
So, in conclusion, we hope you enjoy this brief glance into what could have happened, but, ultimately, didn't - for better or for worse, you decide.
[written by ELISE B, fanfiction historian, on MAY 21ST, 2013]
--PRODUCTION CREDITS--
THE LUNAVERSE.MOV Written by the Luna 6 (with help from That Gamer!) Directed by the Luna 6 No.1: Carrotz.MOV
"We cannot believe-eth this," Luna mumbled. She was looking through the scripts for seasons 2, 3 & four with MAGICK, rubbing her forehead. "This... This be-eth awful. The worst thing we hath ever read-eth."
"Well, those are the rejected scripts," Nyx said, trying to beat Gamer Luna at a game of chess.
"Rejected, our rear-end," Luna spat.
"And why would you say that?" Gamer Luna asked, not really interested.
Luna sighed and said, "These are really just starting to be-eth a complete copy of the episodes of the main show of which this is based off of."
"Again, rejected ," Nyx repeated herself. "Also, check."
"HAX!" Gamer Luna cried.
"Quiet," Luna snapped. "These be-eth the worst things produced since this endeavour has started and we art not going to stand for this! We art going to do something we promised we would never do-eth! We art going to show ponies... Well, we doth expect thou know-eth."
"Go ahead and do it, it ain't gonna affect either of us," Nyx said with a shrug. "Also, remember that check from earlier? Add a mate to that."
"DAMN IT!"
Luna rolled her eyes at that and pressed play on the unedited first part of the mini-series.
--CKDS--
"Chug, chug, chug, chug!" five of the Luna 6 (Trixie, Derpy, Raindrops, Lyra and Bonbon) chanted, urging on their friend, Carrot Top.
"I... I..." Carrot Top, looking at giant vat of the former part of her name, stammered. "You want me to eat... All of these?"
"Of course!" Trixie shouted. "Trixie and the rest of them just spent the last hour telling you! Now do it!"
"B-but I need these!" Carrot Top argued. "To sell them! Because I'm not some big corporation like Sweet Apple Acres! I need to do what I can!"
Derpy laughed and said, "You can always grow them back!... She can grow them back, right?"
"Oh... Derpy, that was my line!" Lyra grumbled, face-hoofing.
"Oh, oh, I'm sorry!" Derpy apologized. "W-what was my line?"
"It was... 'Swag'," Lyra read, pulling a copy of the script off the ground.
"'Swag'?" Derpy echoed.
"Yes, 'cause Rainbow apparently has a lot of it," Lyra told Derpy. "Now, as I was supposed to-"
"Ooo! I have a lot of free stuff!" Derpy exclaimed.
"No, no, swag means coolness!" Lyra explained. That, for some reason, gave Bonbon a prompt to smack her upside the head. "OW! The buck!"
"Save it for her episode!" Bonbon snapped.
"Ijudoknwhwewr?" Lyra asked.
"Of course," Bonbon sighed, rolling her eyes. "Anyways, you're line?"
"Right..." Lyra mumbled before saying just that: "You can always grow them back!... She can grow them back, right?"
"I can, but it takes time!" Carrot Top shouted. "You five picked every carrot in my garden! It's gonna take forever it replace this a-and it's not the right time to sell it and I don't have anything to keep them fresh in and they're gonna go rotten and then the next selling season isn't gonna come around until forever a-and I'm gonna go broke in that time and-"
"Nopony cares, Carrot Top!" Trixie interrupted all annoyed like.
"I care!" Carrot Top shouted.
Bonbon then slapped Carrot Top. "Of course! You're nopony!"
"Actually, that would be Raindrops," Carrot Top pointed out, pointing at the other pegasus that was apparently there.
"I'm over here!" Raindrops said awkwardly.
"And that's your only line until 'Rain.MOV'," Lyra reminded Raindrops.
"What?!" Raindrops exclaimed. "ONE LINE?!"
"Yes, because, think about it," Lyra answered in a bored manner, "Trixie is a popular secondary character, we are all famous background ponies... Who the buck are you ? And are you experienced?"
"I..." Raindrops tried to start her explanation, but Lyra had something more to say.
"No, no, I know what you are!" Lyra cut in. "You're a recolour! A Derpy recolour! You both look exactly the same!"
"Well, maybe, but-" Raindrops tried once again, but Bonbon had a hoof reserved both of their faces. In other words, Bonbon likes to slap ponies.
"Save it for later!" Bonbon shouted.
"I mean really..." Carrot Top mumbled. She thought for a moment before going on with the script: "Anyways, I don't like to eat carrots, actually."
A dead silence fell over the elements of Lunacy before, starting with Derpy, they started cracking up.
"ARE YOU BUCKING SERIOUS?!" Trixie demanded between gasps for air. "TRIXIE HAS HEARD SOME $#!T IN HER TIME, BUT THIS... THIS IS NONSENSE!"
"You're 20 years old," Carrot Top remarked flatly.
"YOU... YOUR NAME IS CARROT TOP!" Trixie continued, ignoring Carrot Top.
"Well, Applejack has 'apple' in her name!" Carrot Top argued.
"...Well, then what do you use carrots for?" Lyra asked.
"You just don't want to admit that I'm right," Carrot Top muttered.
"Just tell us!" Lyra shouted.
"I-I can't really explain..." Carrot Top said.
"And why would that be?" Derpy enquired with a head tilt.
There was a pause, followed by Carrot Top taking a carrot out of the bin and slowly moving it towards her-
"OK, OK, we get it!" Lyra cried, looking away. "Why was that written in!?"
"Because it's the truth," Carrot Top harrumphed, putting the carrot back.
"Well, I guess it proves that you're only good for one thing," Trixie commented.
"What?"
"All you're good for is that," Trixie explained, "and reminding bronies that they have to randomly insert the 'Derpy emptied my fridge joke' into their stories. That's all."
"So you're trying to trick me into doing this, huh?" Carrot Top asked. "Well, it isn't going to work."
"So you can't handle the truth?" Trixie asked in return.
"I can!" Carrot Top cried defensively.
"Then really think about it..." Trixie said. "Really."
"..." Carrot Top thought about it for a moment. "I... I..."
"So you know that you have less appearances then Raindrops?" Trixie was acting all smug like.
"...BUCK YOU, I CAN EAT ALL THESE CARROTS!" Carrot Top shouted before diving in headfirst.
Silence for a moment.
"You knew that would work?" Bonbon enquired.
"Yes," Trixie answered, still being smug. "You see, unlike Trixie, you, Lyra, Dery and Raindrops, Carrot Top has never had an appearance in a story by this writer, so he hasn't had time to come up with a personality for her. That means her emotions can be played around with easily because she doesn't really have a character yet. Sure she has a personality in the Lunaverse and Jappleack has one, too, but she doesn't have one here!"
"What about being the sanity to my apparent insanity?" Derpy suggested.
"...Well, it's too late, it's in the script," Trixie admitted. "And Trixie kinda already said it. Four star performance right there, by the way."
"I guess," Lyra shrugged.
"And it seems that Carrot Top has gone into a coma without us even noticing," Raindrops pointed out.
Sure enough, they all looked and Carrot was laying there, completely knocked out.
"Huh..." Trixie mumbled. "Well, Trixie's out. How about you five?"
"I think we should get her some medical attention," Raindrops said.
"In that case, good luck with that," Bonbon deadpanned, her trotting off with the others.
Raindrops was struck dumb for a moment before shrugging and leaving Carrot Top there, there to go onto making a blog that's funny at first, but then gets too exactly the opposite of this... Then they all ran back.
"WAIT A BUCKING MINUTE!" Trixie exclaimed, looking at Bonbon. "WHAT THE BUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"
"What?" Bonbon asked awkwardly. "I thought I was one of you!"
"Well, you're not!" Trixie snapped. "Now shoo! And, you, Cherilee, get in here!"
"But-" Bonbon began, but Cherilee shoved her out of frame.
"A-anyways, I'm here!" Cherilee announced.
"Yeah, yeah," Lyra muttered before all of them went off, again leaving Carrot Top.
--CKDS--
Luna hit stop and asked, "
"They got off topic a lot," Nyx commented flatly, her and Gamer Luna now in thier fourth game.
"Wasn't even really that funny," Gamer Luna added. "D9. I sunk your Samus."
"This is chess," Nyx sighed.
"...DAMN IT!"
"Well, that be-eth why we art finally unleashing this unto the world!" Luna laughed. "One they see-eth this, they shalt forget all about making these... AWFUL scripts!"
"They're rejected!" Gamer Luna and Nyx shouted at the same time.
"Where on these doth it say that?" Luna asked.
Gamer Luna & Nyx groaned and went back to their game, which lasted-
"DAMN IT!" Gamer Luna exclaimed.
Author's Note
And there's that. For those of you wondering about Into The Blender Of Two Minds and You's Bed And Bath For Ponies ... Um... Shut up, Nyx? By the way, I really did think Bonbon was a member of the Luna 6 right up until I went to submit it. I'm sorry.
THE LUNAVERSE.MOV Written by the Luna 6 (with help from That Gamer!) Directed by the Luna 6 Camera operated by Derpy Hooves No.2: Humans.MOV
"So I heard you edited these," Nyx said, rolling the dice, as her and Gamer Luna playing Monopoly.
"Yeah, but that be-eth only for time reasons," Luna explained. "For, thou doth see, this be-eth really long. The last one, we hate to admit, was actually five hours."
"Can I presume that'll mean we will possibly see an unedited cut in the future?" Gamer Luna asked.
"We doth hope not," Luna muttered. "So, before we begin, how art thy game going?"
Gamer Luna rolled the dice then and replied, "Amazing! I just landed on Park Place and-"
"I own that property," Nyx cut in.
"So?" Gamer Luna asked.
"I own it, so pay me," Nyx answered with a chuckle.
"Damn it..." Gamer Luna murmured under her breath, forking over a few wads of money.
"Ah-ah-ah! There are two hotels there!" Nyx told Gamer Luna. "Which means you have to pay me double."
"DAMN IT!"
Ignoring that, Luna pushed the play button to begin the next exciting part of the mini-series.
==TL.M==
"Is it recording?" Trixie whispered to Derpy, who was holding the camera.
"I think so... I light's on," Derpy mumbled, trying to check the front without taking the focus off of Trixie.
"Trixie hopes so," Trixie said, "'cause Trixie's handing all camera operations over to you."
"M-me?" Derpy was surprised. "Why?"
"Because somepony broke the tripod!" Trixie answered.
"Sorry!" Cherilee shouted from somewhere off camera.
Trixie rolled her eyes and mumbled, "Let's just get on with this..."
"OK!" Derpy chirped. She thought for a moment before asking, "What's the scene?"
"Urgh... Trixie walks over there," Trixie groaned, "and that's about it."
"Oh..."
"Yeah, Trixie thought you read the script beforehand," Trixie remarked under her breath before getting on with the scene.
Funny enough, it was exactly how Trixie described it: She walked a foot or two, but then stopped.
"Now go inside," Trixie instructed Derpy, pointing at the door of the Carousel Boutique, which took a long to get permission to film in. About thrice the time it took to write this script. "Make sure to shut the door behind you."
"But how will you get in?" Derpy asked. "And we're not going to stop filming?"
"Everything will be fixed in post," Trixie replied quickly. "Now get in there before Trixie edits your face."
"That'd be nice!" Derpy exclaimed before getting what Trixie meant and hurried inside.
"You finished out there already?" Lyra asked, wheeling up Derpy.
"Yep!" Derpy said happily. "By the way, Trixie knows how to do plastic surgery, apparently."
"...I don't even..." Lyra began, but then thought of something else less important, but she knew that they needed to finish shooting soon. They only had a week. "OK, Derpy, just point the camera at the door and I'll do my bit with Trixie. Just stay quiet, 'K?"
"But I wanna participate..." Derpy grumbled.
"You're holding the camera," Lyra reassured Derpy, "and your part's up next. Don't worry."
"Oh, OK!"
"Are you two done in there?!" Trixie yelled from outside.
Lyra muttered something under her breath and shouted back, "Just go ahead!"
There was a brief period of silence. Lyra checked the clock on the wall after a bit, failing to notice Trixie forcing her head through the mail slot, said act making Derpy yelp in surprise.
"What? What is it?" Lyra asked, looking back and seeing the impossible. You can imagine her reaction. "AHH, THE BUCK! How... HOW THE BUCK?!"
"First off all, let Trixie say that we did have a budget," Trixie began.
"I thought we were being funded by a shoestring," Lyra deadpanned. "But, anyways, tell me what happened to the budget I didn't know we had."
"You're looking at it!" Trixie exclaimed, getting a confident smirk on her face.
If only you could see the hate on Lyra's face. "YOU SPENT... THE ENTIRE BUDGET... ON THAT ONE EFFECT?!" she snarled.
"Well, things look better live then in post!" Trixie argued.
"So that's why you're doing everything else in post?" Lyra asked, hate tinting every word like frost on a window pane.
"This effect cost a lot of bits!" Trixie pointed out. "Be impressed!"
"Oh, yeah, you wasted all these bits trying to make yourself look more impressive!" Lyra yelled. "OF ALL THE SELF CENTERED BUL$#!T... GAH!!!"
"Boy, this is going to make a great outtake," Derpy commented.
"Are you really still recording?!" Lyra shouted.
"B-but Trixie said she'd e-edit this all out in p-p-post!" Derpy stammered.
"...You are so stupid sometimes!" Lyra exclaimed before taking some deep breaths. "OK... Let's... Move on. First thing's first, Trixie, get out that mail slot."
"Um... Trixie didn't pay for a way out," Trixie admitted sheepishly.
"WHAT!?" Lyra shouted before quickly calming herself down again.
"Trixie thought it would come with the pack..." Trixie mumbled to herself. She then got the idea to teleport out of the slot and did so, accidentally breaking it in the process. "Oops."
"It doesn't matter," Lyra told Trixie, "just get in here!"
And so the blue magician did enter, noting the damage she did, but not really caring all that much.
"So I presume that we can't have humans in this scene like I wanted?" Lyra mumbled.
Trixie thought for a few seconds, then said, "It's all done in post."
"SO WHAT'S ALL THIS BUCKING GARBAGE ABOUT BUCKING DOING THINGS BUCKING LIVE?!" Lyra screamed. "WHAT, YOU CAN HAVE ALL THE NEAT LOOKING EFFECTS DONE LVIE, BUT I GET ALL OF MINE DONE WITH CG-BUCKING-?! THE BUCK'S WRONG WITH YOU?!"
"HEY, BE QUIET DOWN THERE! I'M WORKING UP HERE!" Rarity yelled from upstairs.
"I was actually thinking of using green screen," Trixie mused after a brief period of silence.
"Holy buck..." Lyra grumbled under her breath.
"So can we just get on with this?" Trixie asked, more annoyed by Lyra's behavior then anything else.
"My forelegs are getting tired!" Derpy complained.
"Yeah... I guess we should..." Lyra said.
"Anyways, just say your lines and act like humans are right over there," Trixie instructed.
"Of course..."
"Anywho: Yo, Lyra, dawg, how'z it goin'?" Trixie recited her lines.
"It's... It's going good!" Lyra began. "I've found the most perfect way to research humans! Getting somepony else to do it for me! BEHOLD!" And thus Lyra beheld, using MAGICK to wheel around so she was facing where the effects would have been, if this had actually been done. Did I mention Lyra did was in charge of adding things in post? Yeah.
"Lyra..." Trixie started slowly. "Those are humans..."
"What choo on, girl?" Lyra laughed.
"Trixie's pretty sure she wasted all her drugs last week," Trixie replied. "And it wore off a day ago."
"Oh no, she's improvising!" Derpy whispered to more-or-less herself.
"Hey, I know a human when I see one," Lyra retorted, "and these beings told me themselves that they are not!"
"So what are?"
"Beings!" Lyra answered with a dramatic tone, which enticed Trixie to facehoof. Hard. She'd forgotten about that part. "Hey, here comes one now! His name is Richard, by the way. Starr... Stargazer? I dunno, I call him Apple. What have you got on American pop culture?" Pause. "That's great! And how's the music?" Pause. "Hey, no need to use that language!" Pause. "English-English? OK, I get it."
"Trixie didn't realize how weird this would be," Trixie commented quietly to Derpy.
"OK, now I see information on human politics," Lyra instructed "Richard". Pause. "No, I don't care what your views are! Give me EVERY HUMAN'S views!" Pause. "Stop speaking English-English and get on with your job! GO!!!... Anyways, yeah, I got it all down pat."
"Yeeeeaaaahhh..." Trixie said slowly, looking awkwardly off to the right. "And that was a good take! Don't worry, Lyra, everything will be dealt with in post."
"I really bucking hope so..." Lyra growled. She wheeled off after that, making sure to bump into Trixie.
"Trixie hopes she calms down soon," Trixie told Derpy when she was sure Lyra couldn't hear here.
"I hope so, too," Derpy said before dropping the cam- KRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...
==TL.M==
"...And so Derpy dropped the camera," Luna, who had been narrating the whole time, finished explaining to the two other Lunas.
"Oh dear," Nyx sarcastically said, counting up all her fake bits. "That's terrible. What did they ever do?"
"Well, Lyra doth quit-eth between parts," Luna replied, "so Trixie had to go-eth and convince her to come back. The next two parts be-eth directed by Cherilee. Both with different cameras."
"Why different cameras?" Gamer Luna asked, getting mad over the fact that she had next to no bits.
"Well, that had to rent-eth the first camera, but then that ran out of time," Luna continued, "so they had-eth to get another."
"And how did that one turn out?" Nyx enquired.
"Thou shalt see when thou doth see it," Luna snapped.
"M'kay..." Nyx mumbled. "Ooo! 838,000 bits! How much did you get?"
"27," Gamer Luna spat. "I hate these games! Can't we play something on the 360 or something?!"
"We did!" Nyx reminded Gamer Luna, MAGICKing up a copy of the Monopoly video game (released 2008).
"...DAMN IT!"
Author's Note
And there's that. Fun fact, the 1100th word is "Yeah", which, by the way, is the 12th track on Made In Heaven .
THE LUNAVERSE.MOV Written by the Luna 6 (with help from That Gamer!) Directed by Cherilee Camera operated by Cherilee No.3: Rainkiller.MOV
"...And that be-eth when Shelf Gore demanded that we make dreams make-eth sense," Luna continued. "Of course, we doth told-eth him that dreams don't need to make sense, but he then started threatening not to have us pass moderation and ban us for 24 hours and that be-eth when my guards dragged him away. We think he still be-eth going."
"Wow... That's weird," Nyx commented, playing with some dice.
"No, it apparently be-eth nonsense," Luna grumbled. "...Say, where be-eth Gamer Luna?"
"She didn't wanna play anymore board games with me," Nyx sighed. "But I guess that's just the problem with a hardcore gamer... As she puts it..."
"We might do-eth something with you," Luna offered.
"Really?!"
"Yes... But right after thou watch-eth the next part of The Lunaverse.MOV." And before Nyx got a chance to complain, Luna pushed the button.
--TL.M--
"...I've never directed before!" Cherilee admitted with a laugh from behind the camera.
"So then why did Trixie put you in charge?" Colgate asked from off-screen.
"Because I'm not in this part," Cherilee explained, "and you are. It's a very simple thing."
"But doesn't this part involve Pinkie?" Colgate pointed out. "That's supposed to be you. And if it's supposed to be you, then why is Bonbon here?"
"Hey."
"She's a body double, OK, now let's get this rolling, girls!" Cherilee exclaimed, hitting the record button. Now, in any normal case this would've started recording, but since the camera already was on...
"Again, girls, I've never directed..." Cherilee said while chuckling to herself.
"Everypony show a raise of hooves," Bonbon said to Colgate and Derpy, who was there, too, "who wants to replace her with me?... Only me? Well, buck."
"Anywho, let's get on with this!" Cherilee told the three in a singsong voice.
With a few mumbles of agreement, Derpy came out from the left, Colgate and Bonbon sitting on her back, babbling about nothing.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, cut!" Cherilee shouted. "This isn't that good, I'm.... I'm not feeling any emotion."
"Emotion?" Colgate repeated in disbelief. "We're babbling about nothing!"
"But it's not realistic enough," Cherilee explained. "I don't feel like you're really going on about nothing."
"Oh for buck's sake..." Colgate grumbled, facehoofing.
"Really, I think it's the style," Cherilee went on. "The whole thing is too dark."
"That's the point!" Colgate shouted. "I've been here for only nine minutes and already you're bucking p!$$!ng me off!"
"There's no need for that language, Colgate, I'm just trying to put all this together," Cherilee snapped.
"Like putting together two pieces for two different puzzles," Bonbon added in a deadpan manner.
Cherilee ignored that remark and thought for a few minutes about what to do next. "OK, I have an idea," she said after a while. "I want you to do it like a Broadway musical!"
"Um... WHY?!"
"Like I said! Emotion!" Cherilee answered. "Now do it!"
Reluctantly, Derpy trotted back off to the right with Colgate and Bonbon on her back. A few seconds, Derpy came out in a more theatrical way, Colgate doing an aria while Bonbon kept the beat.
"Yes, yes, I can feel it!" Cherilee exclaimed, the camera shaking from excitement.
"I just wanna point out, Jappleack would not have let this happen," Bonbon muttered to Colgate.
"Just let her do what she wants," Colgate whispered back. "What does this matter to me? I'm only appearing in, what, three parts of this?"
"Hey, I'm just a body double or whatever," Bonbon retorted. "So you be quiet."
"I can't, I'm doing a solo."
"We don't have to do this! Like you have to be so flank numbingly slow, Derpy!"
"But I'm in the middle of my routine!" Derpy whined. "I think. I didn't have a lot of time to rehearse."
"YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY TIME!"
"OK, cut, cut!" Cherilee exclaimed. "You three going on about too much stuff! So let's just go ahead to where you three are at the shed, OK?"
Bonbon and Colgate mumbled some stuff and Derpy let out one big "OK!", getting out of her flow going over to the shed, Cherilee following, but shaking the camera too much for it to matter.
"OK, here's what I want you to do," Cherilee started. "You three are going to look at the shed and Bonbon, you're gonna be all like-"
"I want you to call me by my real name," Bonbon cut in.
"Bonbon isn't your real name?" Derpy asked.
"My real name is Sweety Drops," Bonbon answered, "and I want you to refer to me as such."
"Your name is not Sweety Drops," Colgate said.
"Shut up, Minuette," Bonbon snapped.
Cherilee blinked and continued with her instructions, saying, "OK... Sweety Drops... You guys have to just look at the shed, say it's Raindrops and wonder aloud if she's ever mentioned not going in it."
"I guess we can do that," Sweety said. She turned to her fellow actors after looking at the shed and said in a kind of deadpan manner, "Hey, look, it's Raindrops's shed. Hasn't she mentioned at one point or another?"
"I dunno," Colgate answered with a shrug. "Let's have some flashbacks."
One rough cut later (cutting away from Cherilee yelling at them for their line delivery) and Derpy, Cherilee and Trixie were playing Spin-The-Bottle, Raindrops sitting off in the corner.
"Hey, Raindrops wanna join us?" Derpy called over to her clone.
"Oh, you guys..." was Raindrop's reply. "...By the way, why are you playing Spin-The-Bottle?"
"Because I'm gay," Derpy replied. "Rainbow Dash is gay, so that makes me gay. Because rainbows mean gay. Get it? I'm gay. Very gay. Big gay. Everypony over here supports Derpy Top or Carrot Hooves or Ditzy Harvest or Golden Do or Golden Hooves or whatever. Point is, Rainbow Dash is gay, so, by extent, I'm gay because I'm Rainbow's Lunaverse counterpart and I need to know who to buck, when to buck and where to buck. 'Cause I'm gay."
"So I-"
"Gay."
"Ahem. So I guess I-
“You know what 'swag' means?”
“What?”
“Secretly, We Are Gay.”
“...So I guess I can't play then, huh?"
"Not unless you want to kiss Cherilee," Trixie said. She looked over at passed-out the teacher. "Trixie wants to know... What happened to you?"
"I have no idea..." Cherilee muttered.
"You forgot the script, didn't you?" Trixie inquired.
"Yeah, pretty much."
"That's good, because Trixie did, too."
Another rough cut and Derpy and Cherilee were going bipedal, kicking something just below the camera.
"I feel bad for doing this, but, at the same time, I kinda like it," Cherilee, laughing, told Derpy.
"I know!" Derpy agreed. "It feels so good to get all this emotion out!... Though I do feel kind of bad."
"Yeah! How's that for an entrance?" Cherilee demanded what they were kicking.
Raindrops came in from the left then. "Hey, guys. Wot's... Uh, the deal?"
"We're kicking this flour bag in preparation for you arriving," Derpy explained. "Wanna join us?"
"Eh, why not?" It took Raindrops a couple seconds, but she got on both her back hooves and, too, had a go at it. "I realize the irony in what I'm doing, but it's not like I give a damn."
"Amen!"
Yet another rough cut and, suddenly, the scene changes to the Fall Formal at the still nameless school Twilight went to that one time. Speaking of which, Twilight was crossing her fingers in hope, 'cause this was it. The deciding moment. The point that decided whether or not Twilight would be named princess of the Fall Formal, since apparently "Queen" was far too evil for princessipal Celestia.
Now, if Twilight was named Princess, she'd get the good ending. If not, then Sunset would win and evily evil things would happen that were evil. 'Cause she's the villain.
"OK, everybody... Everypony, it's kind of hard to tell," whoever was in charge said to the attendants from the stage, "it's time to announce this year's princess of the Fall Formal! Now I know how exciting this is, so let's take a moment to let it all be absorbed... Got it? Good! If someone would please hand me the letter..."
Twilight almost forgot to breathe for a moment when whoever was in charge got handed the letter and took his sweet time opening it.
"So this year's... Princess of the... Fall Formal..." whoever's in charge grunted, trying to open the letter (his hands were too sweaty).
Twilight's heart was in her throat.
"Is... Urghm..."
Twilight was sweating bullets.
"Urgh... It is..."
Sunset Shimmer rolled her eyes in annoyance.
"This lovely crown goes to... Hghiedr!"
Flash was too stupid to realize what was going on.
"...Finally! The winner is..."
Dead silence.
"Wait, the letter needs to be unfolded- Ah, there. The winner is... Raindrops?"
"Human say what?!"
Whoever was in charge was suddenly shoved as Raindrops rushed on stage, tears in her eyes. "Thank you!" she shouted to a confused Formal. "Thank you! Thank you all for finally fulfilling me one goal in life! Thank you all! Thank the academy!... No, on second though, @&*# the academy! Th-" Suddenly, a huge bucket of blood was dumped on her.
"I've been saving it up for months and it went to waste on such a schmuck," Sunset grumbled, crossing her arms.
"...Cherry Kool-Aid!" Raindrops exclaimed, tasting the blood. "It's a little warm, but you all care!... A-and I've always wanted to do this! C'mon, sing with me: When I was wandering in the desert and searching for the truth...!"
"Hey, I know we're supposed to be enemies and all," Sunset said, going over to a very awestruck Twilight, "but... Do you wanna go up there and kick her ass?"
"What? No! She won fairly!... For no reason, but still fairly!" Twilight argued.
"I'll let you have the crown," Sunset offered, sighing.
"Just wait a second, let me figure out how I'm supposed to hurt her," Twilight said, looking at her hand.
"That's OK, it took me a while, too," Sunset told Twilight. "Look, I'm just going to go up there and get started. You can have your friends if you want..."
"...She didn't mention a shed in any of those," Sweety pointed out.
"And the third one went on too long," Colgate added. "And how did we even see those? Aren't they gonna be shot after this?"
All of a sudden, Raindrops came out of the shed, yawning. "Hey, guys. Wot's... Uh, the deal?"
"First of all, you already said that," Sweety pointed out, making Raindrops blink in confusion. "Second, what are doing in your shed? You're not supposed to come in until near the end, where you kill Derpy."
"I'm going to die?!" Derpy suddenly got very scared.
"Well, no, not really, it's all an act," Colgate explained.
"But I don't wanna die - fictionally or real lifeically!" Derpy argued.
"Then you should have quit," Sweety told Derpy. "Anyways, Raindrops, what are you doing in your shed? And, Cherilee, shouldn't you have told her that we were recording?"
"Well, I coudln't find her," Cherilee answered. "But here she is now! So, Raindrops, we're recording now."
Sweety face-hoofed very hard whilst Raindrops said, "W... *yawn* Working on the set inside. Spent all night on it and, even then, it's not ready yet. Come back tomorrow or something. On second though, next month. Next year. I'll be ready then... Maybe. I'm not sure."
"We can't wait until next year," Cherilee informed the recolor. "We have to shoot now! So if you could move over there while I go inside so I can get a better shot."
"No, really, don't go in!" Raindrops shouted, getting shoved out of the way with MAGICK by Colgate.
Of course, Cherilee went inside the shed, only to find out it was just a front - there was no inside, which means no floor, walls or ceiling. Just a box sitting to the left.
"Raindrops... The buck is this?"
"I told you it wasn't ready!" Raindrops shouted. "Besides, I'm keeping all of my porn in there!... Wait, none of you heard that!"
Alas, it was too late. Setting the camera down on a really tall rock so that it was still recording her, Cherilee reached inside the box and came out with an issue of Hoof Beat.
"Anthro porn... Really?" Cherilee deadpanned, leaning over so she could give Raindrops an impressed look. "Who the buck gets turned on by this?"
*poomf*
"Shut up, Derpy," Cherilee muttered. Unfortunately, she failed to notice that, because of the way Colgate and Sweety were sitting on Derpy, her sudden wingboner sent the two flying off into the distance. "Also, you know having this stuff is illegal."
"It is?!" Raindrops gasped. "Oh, I-I didn't know! I feel so embarrassed now...!"
"Well now you know," Cherilee said simply. "But in any case, I have to report you to the police or whatever it is we have."
"WHAT?! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!"
"Oh yes I can," Cherilee replied. "Ain't that right, Derpy?... Derpy?"
Sure enough, Derpy had dissapeared and, when Cherilee looked back at Raindrops, she was no longer there.
"Um... Where the buck is everypony?" Cherilee yelled, looking around. "...So I guess we're done here. Fine. W-we'll regroup tomorrow and try this again... I gu-"
--TL.M--
"Thou doth know-eth how Discord is shown destroying PonyVille.MOV at-eth the beginning of Shed.MOV?" Luna asked Nyx.
"I dunno... Haven't really seen it," Nyx mumbled.
"Well, scenes related to his were supposed to be-eth shot," Luna admitted, "but they did not realize-eth this until the episode focusing on Trixie. And even-eth then, they had-eth to prostitute themselves to get up enough money for something even resembling Discord... Eth. Also, some $#!t doth happens that affects Tcarrot Op/Hgolden Arvest's blog, but that does not matter at this interval."
"Oh... Wait, they had to sell themselves?"
"Uh... Anyways," Luna said quickly, dancing around the topic about as good as I dance, "Raindrops did do-eth a few things in between parts. For instance, she gave-eth birth to Rainflakes and Snowdrops."
"Those two fillies from that film?" Nyx asked, to which Luna nodded. "I know them! They're both really nice."
"Yes, but Snowflakes isn't," Luna told Nyx.
"Snowflakes? What does he have to do with them?"
"Date rape."
"Oh."
"Yes, it be-eth kind of dark," Luna agreed. "However, that be-eth the nature of life - random and sometimes unforgiving. Like dreams. They are supposed to be random, not that Shelf Gore could-eth understand that...!"
"Aw, jeez, here she goes again..."
"We just mean... DAMN IT!"
Author's Note
To explain why Bonbon is referred to as "Sweety Drops" half-way through the story, let me refer you to a little book called The Elements Of Harmony . Also, the day this was uploaded, some of relatives were here and, apparently, my mom wants me to spend every waking moment with them, so I had to finish this up quickly. But, in all honesty, the best, in my opinion, is the Equestria Girls parody, which doesn't even really follow the scene in Shed.MOV . But whatever.
And if you want, here is the link to a special story entitled '
"This is plotless nonsense which even borrows a lot of direct lyrics from the (copyrighted) song[, which makes it a lot better then most stories nowadays.]"
"This is hardly a [bad] story. The dialogue is nonsensical and filled with meta references."
THE LUNAVERSE.MOV Written by the Luna 6 (with help from Hellfilly Deluxe and That Gamer!) No.4: Interlude.TXT
"Derpy? What are you doing here?" Nyx asked, raising an eyebrow (I think).
"Oh! Uh, Luna wanted to interview me about The Lunaverse.MOV," Derpy started to explain, "but she never showed up for some reason."
"I think it's Season 4," Nyx said. "Speaking of which, why aren't you down there recording your cameos and what not?"
"It's all digital by this point," Derpy admitted. "I don't even have to show up anymore. The last time I did was that bit with Rainbow Dash in that one episode... But even then, I got dubbed over. Really, I only exist to be in pony's fanfiction."
"Like The Lunaverse?" Nyx asked.
"Like The Lunaverse..." Derpy sighed.
"Anyways," Nyx said, trying to be cheerful, "why don't you tell me about the next installment in The Lunaverse.MOV? It's got to be more interesting then what this author has been uploading previously!"
"This author's been interesting?" Derpy wondered aloud. "Uh... A-anyways, the episode that was supposed to be next, which has Colgate and Jappleack, is kind of..."
"Is kind of what?" Nyx asked.
"It's kind of lost," Derpy muttered. She looked so bucking embarrassed. "I think Trixie still has it, or maybe Cherilee. Didn't Luna got a lot of the footage from Cherilee?"
"She got most of the footage from Raindrops, actually," Nyx told Derpy. "But then she found out it was tampered with and, well, things didn't go so well after that."
Derpy nodded and the duo were silent for a while.
"Can you technically call this exposition?" Nyx asked.
"I dunno," Derpy shrugged. "But I have some good news! Trixie did give me some footage, I think hoping I'd forget about it."
"And I'm betting you did," Nyx said.
"I did," Derpy sighed. "But now I have it and I can play it!"
"Then play it!"
Depry nodded again and inserted the VHS tape into the drive.
--TL.M--
"RIDLEY! AHHH!!!" Ridley screeched, stomping around a minature model of PonyVille made out of cardboard.
"...This is seriously the best could bucking get?!" Lyra demanded the blue mare, facehoofing so hard it left a visible mark.
"Again, as you know, Trixie accidentally wasted the budget on one special effect," Trixie responded cooly, "and this fellow here said he would do it for free! And Cherilee's class gave Trixie a lot of boxes so that she could make this model. See? Trixie has got everything under control."
"But nopony is going to watch this!" Lyra growled. "I only came back here because you threatened my entire family!"
"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Trixie has always said," Trixie said. "If you don't like it, then too bad. We have a show to run and Trixie is not going to let one little complaint get in the way."
"Cherilee filmed all of Colgate's parts on a potato!" Lyra shouted. "Literally! A real potato with a camera lens stuck onto it!"
"But that's only one set back," Trixie pointed out.
"One set back in, like 838!" Lyra argued. "...What are you doing, Derpy? Why are you filming us?!"
"Well, uhm, you two seemed more interesting," Derpy admitted.
"I'm a giant mechanical dragon stomping on cardboard boxes and that isn't interesting enough for you?" Ridley asked from off-screen. "Boy, you ponies make a tough crowd. AHHH!!!"
"L-look, Derpy, just point at the camera back at that thing over there and leave us to our arguing," Lyra sighed.
"We weren't arguing!" Trixie argued.
It then got really blurry as Derpy turned to point the camera back at Ridley, but then it cut off abruptly.
--TL.M--
"That was short," Nyx commented.
"I think that's why Trixie didn't want to remember it," Derpy said.
"Actually, I think it's because the entire thing was her and Lyra arguing," Nyx said. "Which begs the question of why, since they were arguing in previous parts and Trixie didn't stop those for being shown. Does she even know these are being shown? Did Luna tell her? She told everypony else involved, but not Trixie? Why? What did Luna know that Trixie didn't? What would Trixie have done? W-"
"I think it was because it was too short," Derpy stated. "But if you want to know all that stuff so bad, I can go ask her!" After saying that, Derpy bolted from the room, knocking over a couple of things on her way out.
"She isn't here, Derpy!" Nyx called out to her. But, by that point, Derpy was long gone. "Why do I have to be involved with this production? Is it because I'm related to Luna?"
"If you want, I can take over for you."
"Shut up, Nyx!" Nyx shouted. One second later: "Wait, what!?"
Author's Note
Eh. I liked this better then my other attempts. And I needed to update something that wasn't Past HELP! . Maybe next I can get around to finishing Vinyl Crosses Abbey Load and Into The Blender Of Two Minds ... But probably not.
