Blessings Of Misery

by XenronXIVII

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Romance, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack
Length: 4146

A story of Twilight Sparkle and Applejack, as they try to make the best of what Karma has thrown at them. Twilight Sparkle has developed an alternate persona, which comes out and wreaks havoc on all around her. Is Applejack the mare who can save her?

Twilight Sparkle, sixth Element of harmony, unicorn protige of Princess Celestia, has been under pressure ever since she has been little. It is only a matter of time before she breaks, and the result is Menti, her inhumane and almost robotic voice that plauges even her dreams. As she seeks soliase in her friends, she comes to find that there is some dark in even the greatest of hero. (Follows the small hints in the show, none of the events are to be taken literally.)

Published 2013-04-28 00:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-28 00:10:01 UTC

The Waking

Darkness.

It surrounds us all, stalking, creeping toward our minds unawares of You and I.

Hear it, we do not. See it, we do not.

But know it is there. Standing just out of sight.

Oh, yes, it is there. For it is me.

Twilight Sparkle awakes to a splitting headache, almost making her wish she had never awoken. She clenches her forehoof tight to her head; and slowly begins to remember what had happened the night before. That party at Sugarcube Corner. Could that be why her head hurt so badly? Maby a few too many drinks had put her under; and she was just now waking up? Trying her best to shake the migraine from its crushing grip; Twilight slumps lazily off her bed, Only to find it isn't her bed. The usual purple sheets are replaced with a deep scarlet red; and the large Quinn down mattress is much larger than her own. No, this was definitely not her bed. Taking the tremendous effort to look at her surroundings, she could see that, truthfully, she was not even in her home. Cobblestone walls replace the usual wooden view of her domicile. Managing to subdue the headache that had pulsated so strongly in her brain; Twilight opens her mouth. "Where am I?" The unicorn almost jumps out of her skin when she hears a response. "You are at my home; Twilight Sparkle." Twilight turns left and right, trying to find where the voice had been coming from. The voice laughs; and she presses her already tense body against the bed. "It's no use looking for me, unless, of course, you want to borrow my mirror?" The lavender mare grows angry at the almost toying sound of the voice; and lowers back onto her hooves. "Where are you! Show yourself!" With this, the voice laughs again. "Are you truly Twilight? I seem to remember a mare with more, shall I say, ingenuity for this kind of thing." Twilight is even more confused with the unseen being; how it could know her so well. "If it answers your question, I am inside you. To be more exact, I am in your mind. So it would probably be good if we stopped talking now." Before Twilight could even question the answer, a familiar voice was heard at the room door. "Twilight, y'all ok?" Twilight curses silently under her breath, and opens the door. There stands Applejack; seemingly all the more friendly to her. "I heard 'bout what happened back at Sugarcube Corner." The earth pony looks down tho the ground with a kind of indirect inquisition. Twilight felt more lost than ever; and tapped her companion lightly on the shoulder. "I don't remember, Applejack. Please tell me what happened." Applejack looks at Twilight with tear-filled eyes; and stutters. "Pinkie Pie, she.. she's..." The unicorn, on the verge of tears of seeing her friend, once so strong and bold, worked into hysterics. The tan pony takes a deep breath, trying her best to calm herself. Looking back at Twilight, she falls back into crying. "Pinkie's dead."

The room hums with a kind of lethal silence; and Twilight Sparkle just looks dumbfounded at Applejack. Words elude her as she swims for them, trying to organize the thoughts that buzz in her head like bees. The sobbing of her companion adds to her confusion, and soon the lavender mare finds herself asking the one, most important question. "How did she die?" Applejack pauses from her sobbing, and looks up to the mare with a visage moistened with tears. "Y'all done killed her. S-split er'n two over th' counter."

Twilight feels as if her heart was burned with scalding water. 'I killed my best friend? Why would I do that?' 'How could I do that?' Millions of questions race through her already plagued mind; and it is all she can do not to scream and run away. Sure; that is what she felt like doing right now, but that would not solve anything. "Twilight, I killed her." The voice spoke again, and this time Twilight knew what it was. "WHY WOULD YOU KILL MY BEST FRIEND!? I LOVED HER!" The voice seems to be quieted by this; and before the unicorn can say anything more, Applejack has responded. "It wer'nt me! It were you! You done killed Pinkie!" Twilight shakes her head of the argument, and tries to decipher what had happened. She had heard that voice again; but had Applejack? This was probably not the best time to bring up 'the voice'. Twilight Sparkle looks at Applejack, and shakes her head. "Are you sure it was me? I mean, why in the name of Celestia would I kill Pinkie?" The tearful earth pony chokes out a small answer; and then looks back to the ground. "She was drunk... You... You..." Applejack breathes in heavily, searching for the words that were there, but somehow wouldn't come to her mouth. Instead, she just turns around, and tips her hat brim down. Twilight, still trying to get a grip on what was happening; just looks dumbfounded at the leaving friend. "I.. I..." Applejack pauses for a moment, already halfway out the door. "I'm sorry."

Words

Twilight Sparkle is greeted by the cold porcelain of her kitchen sink; and she greets it back. Namely, by vomiting violently into it. How did this happen? How could I kill Pinkie Pie? She asks herself the same two questions, over and over, untill the voice sounds again. "Having fun, Twilight?" Weakly rasing her head from the sink, fury fills her mind. "What do you want? Leave me alone!" The voice laughs, seemingly more at her than what she said. "I wish I could; but, my dear, I have something to tell you. I killed your dear friend Pinkamena Diane Pie."

Twilight's eyes go wide with terror. The thing in her head killed Pinkie; and it seemed amused with it. The terror soon gives way to anger; and Twilight summons her strength, rasing from the sink to her feet. "How could you do this to me? HOW COULD YOU KILL HER?!" The voice, for the first time, seems mildly concerned. "The pink one was on to me. She tried to take me out of you, but I couldn't let her do that. So, when she reached over to hug you, I hit her over the head with a chair." Twilight sins to the floor, sobbing in confusion and anger; mostly, she did not understand what was happening. Her best friend is dead, and the thing in her head killed her. But Twilight's friends didn't see that. They saw Twilight pick up the chair, Twilight bash Pinkie's skull in, Twilight think it never happened. Tears well back into her eyes; and the unicorn begins to cry again. "Pull yourself together. There is no use crying for something that already happened." This time, Twilight couldn't tell if it was herself that had said it.

"You know, that tan earth pony seems to have strong feelings for you." Twilight shakes her head violently; trying desperately to get the voice to quiet down. "How in the nine hells would you know that? It's not like she said anything!" The lavender unicorn barely even whispers, only talking to know the difference between the voices. "I can feel other living things emotions when I am near them. How do you think I knew what Pinkamena was trying to do?" Without an answer; Twilight Sparkle remembers where she was going. To the only person that knew about inner voices like this one. "There is a 76.5% chance that they will commit you if you mention my being here." That is one thing that she could not get over; how analytical that this voice could be. And she knew that it was right, too. They would probably think that she was crazy, and lock her up in an institution. "If you know that your chances aren't even good at telling them and having them believe you; why would you persist and risk your life?" Twilight considers this for a second, and sighs. "It's the only chance I have."

The doctor's office is a disheartening, sterile white. Everything in the room is shades of black and grey, with barely any other colors visible. The doctor himself is strangely monotonous; even his way of sitting is bland. The only thing of color is the doctor's green eyes, which seem to pulsate with a strange energy. Of course, thought Twilight. Keep the patient from all other possible distractions, while making them think of nothing asides the problem. How sickly methodic. The doctor sees Twilight, and sets the papers he had held on the desk before him. "Good afternoon, Ms. Sparkle. I would like you to take a seat." Twilight feels something wrong about this stallion; and takes a small step back wards. "No thanks, I would rather sta.." The doctor cuts her off. "Take a seat." He gestures to the cushioned seat, and Twilight sighs.

"Now, I heard the phone call that you gave us." The doctor glares at Twilight; and she glares back. Not out of anger, but out of pure fear. "If I back down, this guy is going to walk all over you. Stare him down." This is the first useful thing that the voice has said, and Twilight takes the advice. The stallion taps his desk impatiently, and slides some papers to Twilight. "I am going to need you to... sign these papers, before we can talk." He notices that Twilight hasn't moved since his saying this; and taps the desk again, adding his last piece. "They are for confidentiality. You know, I don.." Twilight is the one to cut off this time, and she slams her hoof against the metal desk. "I know what confidentiality means! I don't want to sign these damn papers! I just want to know what is wrong with me!" The grey doctor just looks back at her, with sick amusement playing at the corners of his eyes. He readjusts the various things that sit on his desk, and puts the sprawled papers back into their manilla folder. Twilight angrily rises from the seat, and heads for the door. The doctor turns his eyes without turning his head, and acknowledges the departing mare. "Where do you think your going?" Twilight already has the door open, and is outside the office. "I'm going home. And never coming back again. I'll probably find out more on my own." The man just snickers. "Suit youself."

"I told you it was a bad idea! Why did you ignore me?" The voice hasnt quieted since Twilight left the office building, and she was about fed up with it. "Would you just shut up! I have enough problems to deal with without your constant analysis!" The voice is quiet for a while; and Twilight sighs. This is how it has gone for days, and how it probably will forever. "I'm sorry." The words enter her mind, and Twilight jumps up. The parasitic thing had just apologized; Out of no where. "What was that?" Twilight's shock almost doubles at the things response. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?" Twilight smiles, but only for a second. Her face drops, and tears come to her eyes. "Know how you can help? DON'T KILL MY FRIENDS!"

Twilight Sparkle walks out the door again, thinking about what the thing had said before; about how Applejack felt for her. The thought that someone cared that deeply for her burned in her chest like a scorching pin; and that Applejack didn't know about the voice hurt her even more. How was she going to tell her that it wasnt all Twilight up there? "I suggest that if you plan on telling the earth pony, do so soon. The longer you wait; the less likely she is to believe you." Twilight considers this, weighing the options she truly had. Yes, she could tell Applejack. She could break the silence and finally get this weight off her chest. But would the simple mare take it that well. And hell, would she even believe her at all? There was truly only one way to find out.

"Thanks for coming over, Applejack. I havent been outside much, and I'm kinda.. well... Bored." The tan pony walks through the door, and the first thing she notices is Twilight's mane. Instead of the usual straight-edge, cleanly defined cut that was the norm; a ragged, hack-cut style, alike Rainbow Dash's drapes loosely on her head. In fact, the personality of the lavender mare is all wrong. Her obsessive nature is replaced by one of terrifying familiarity; one that seemed all to close. "Sure thin', Sugarcube. Hey, 'y'all got a bathroom 'round here?" Twilight seems relieved at the informality of the meeting, and gestures to the bathroom. "I have something to talk to you about, but It can wait. I'll be in my room if you need me."

Twilight Sparkle stands against her bed, gripping her loose mane tightly in the clefts of her hooves. How was she going to tell Applejack? How was she going to break it to her? Her thoughts are interrupted by the voice again; and it sounds mildly distressed. "I am terribly sorry to interrupt you from your vigorous pondering, but it seems as if we are not all alone." Twilight turns to the left; feeling a slight breeze, and is greeted by a cold hoof on her shoulder. The lavender mare stops dead in her movements, and shudders at the voice she hears. "Having fun are we, Ms. Sparkle?" It was Dr. Brownstone; the psychologist that had so profusely terrified her. She feels her blood turn to ice as a chilled breath moves down her mane. "Did you really think that I would let you go that easy? Do you figure me for some kind of imbicle?" A distressed moan issues from Twilight's lips, and then turns into a full on scream. "APPLEJA-" The wind leaves her lungs violently as a hoof hits her back; leveling her to the ground. That same hoof comes down on her again, this time holding her fast to the ground. The doctor speaks again, and this time, the voice seems much, much more stressed. His breath comes out in strangely chilled rasps; and a hoof slides gingerly toward her flank. "wouldn't it be much more kind of you to give a kind greetings to a friend?"

Applejack hears the distressed and chopped cry from Twilight's room, and though she couldn't really understand what had been said, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Sure, the mare's physique was different from the norm, but that wasnt what perturbed the earth pony. It was the way that Twilight was carrying herself; seeming to hide something from her. And, thought Applejack, this might be something serious; she did kill Pinkie Pie. Tears come to Applejack's eyes at the memory of her bouncy, pink friend, and with those tears she storms into Twilight's room. She was going to tell Twilight what she felt, and she sure as hell wasnt going to be ignored.

Applejack bursts into the empty room, empty asides a lavender unicorn and a grey Pegasus. The sight doesn't come to the earth pony at once, and she tries to piece together what was going on. Twilight lay, pressed against her bed, with a dead-looking Pegasus pinning her under his weight. "What in th' blue hell is goin' on here?" The words come to Applejack's mouth before she can realise what she had just said; and Twilight turns to her. "APPLEJACK!" The earth pony, still not fully grasping what was going on; sees that she has the Pegasus's attention now. He speaks in an almost unearthly rasp that sends tendrils of hatred down Applejack's spine. "Can you just leave us alone? I'm just getting to the good part!" That statement, piled up on the sight that is before, pushes Applejack over the edge. She rushes at him, and slams her hoof into his temple. The smaller Pegasus is easily shaken off Twilight, and Applejack doesn't give him even a second to get up. She bites him hard on the ear; and thrashes at his face. Blood and saliva mix with the frenzied cries of a broken Applejack, An agony-filled Pegasus stallion, and the distressed voice of Twilight Sparkle. Applejack releases her grip on the stallion, and wipes her mouth of his blood. The Pegasus runs; rather clumsily, to the window he had entered, and looks back at Applejack. With a blood-covered face, he sputters angrily. "D-Don't ever show y-your face to m-me again!" The earth pony, still in a frenzy of rage; growls low. "Get the fuck out of my friend's house!"

Can This Be Love?

"What'n th' hell are was that Pegasus doin' in here?" Applejack, still wiping off the Doctor's blood, lays into the unicorn. "Why in the blue hell would you bring a sociopath like him to your house; and invite your friend over the same night?!" Twilight Sparkle looks at her earth pony companion, and fumbles on the words that had been thought of for days. "I... I... It.. It's" Applejack, her anger rising instead of subsiding, throws up her hooves in anger. "What? What was so damn important that it needed me to beat a Pegasus I didn't know?" When Twilight doesn't answer, and just keeps looking at the ground, Applejack slams her hoof down on the floor, rocking the bed and its nightstand. "I'm talking to you! Look at me!" When the lavender unicorn does look up, her face is run with tears. "... I-i-it, it l-lives in m-me! IT WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE!" The cutting voice rings in Applejack's ears, long after Twilight had cried out those words. Applejack, still stunned by what had been said, stares wide-eyed at Twilight. She looks at her weeping friend, seemingly in a new light. "What was that, sugarcube?" The words pour out now, and Twilight doesn't even try to filter them. "There is this voice in m-m-my head, and it... It t-takes me... takes me.. And I tried to get help... But.. B-But..." Applejack walks timidly to the hysterical unicorn, and places a consoling hoof on her shaking shoulder. "That perv followed you here; and you brought me here, for help?" The passive nod that shakes Twilight's head is all that Applejack needs. She sits to the left of the unicorn, and bends her left foreleg awkwardly around Twilight's smaller stature. The lavender mare rests her head against Applejack's unkempt mane, and her sobbing slows to a steady rhythm. Applejack looks down, and sees that Twilight is fast asleep, melting hot against her shoulder. She smiles, and brushes the unkempt purple mane from her face, whispering almost to no one. "Its ok. I won' let them hurt you. Ever."

The chirping of birds stirs the two mares, and the light of early dawn casts its weary rose fingertips into the blissful room. Twilight Sparkle, laying close to another pony, opens her eyes to a surprise both wonderful and heartbreaking. Applejack, her close friend, lay next to her, deep into the throes of a merry dream. The voice, Menti as Twilight had named it, stirs her further from the comfort of endearing sleep. "Twilight, why would you risk our safety and sleep with another pony?" Twilight, remembering that others couldn't hear the voice, mutters that quietly. "I'm not sleeping with her! I just... just..." Menti, not phased by the feign Twilight was putting up, continues to inquire. "Your pheromone levels are unnaturally high, Twilight. Are you attracted to this mare? That's not normal, Twilight." As the lavender mare walks out the door, she raises her voice. "Neither is having another person in your head!" That shuts up the voice for a couple of seconds. Then, as soon as Twilight had calmed down, Menti speaks up again. "You can't have offspring with that pony. Why should you feel that way toward her?" That breaks the unicorn, who grips the sides of her head tightly in the clefts of her hooves. "I DONT LOVE HER! DAMNIT, LEAVE ME ALONE!" The voice, taking her anger and siphoning it into comedy, laughs, and then goes silent. It remains silent for a while, and Twilight begins to wonder if she really was crazy. She starts to worry that it was gone forever, and that Applejack would think she was just a crazy mare. "Haha! I knew you loved her! You just needed to think about it yourself, unprovoked!" The unicorn is caught by surprise, and doesn't even feel angry or sad that the voice is still there. "Twilight..." The obsessive unicorn, eager to hear what Menti had to say, responds briskly. "Yes, what is it Menti?" The voice pauses for a while, seemingly reflecting on knowledge that they shared. "... Don't ask me to leave you alone. I can't leave you alone, because I am you. I am you looking into a mirror. They all see you, but only you see me." It pauses again, and speaks, this time with more rasp to its voice. "Also, there is something you really need to consider. When you get mad, I get mad. When you get scared, I get scared. Be cautious of what you do; because I am directly affected by your actions." Twilight, now not as mad as she was, looks up from her angry run. She is far from her house, farther than she had ever dared to go on foot. The Everfree Forest stands like a green wall before her, and that was at the outskirts of Ponyville. She shakes her head, and just as she does so, Twilight hears a distinctive sound. No, she hears a voice, a southern voice, carried thick on the morning wind. Twilight turns, and sees Applejack, standing a couple hundred yards away. The unicorn is crying, but they are not tears of sadness; rather, they are tears of joy.

"I'm sorry Applejack. I should have told you earlier. It just isn't fair, keeping these things from friends as close as you." The tan earth pony, still processing what Twilight had told her, sits in a chair across the room. "So, y'all tellin' me that ya' got some voice in your head, an' it sometimes... takes over?" The unicorn, tracing back to that part of the conversation, tries dearly to simplify it, to preserve what little sanity they both still retained. "Yes. Yes, it takes over. I don't know how it got.. up there... but it's just.. there." She sighs, and pushes back her unkempt purple mane. It has been about six hours of Twilight trying desperately to explain her predicament to Applejack, and Applejack taking it all in. And then it hit Twilight. Applejack, headstrong and defiant, was probably not absorbing a single word of this. The earth pony was probably shunting it off, like a tin roof sheds rain. Applejack was also never one to deal well with big ideas, and was very simplistic in her mannerisms. Why on earth should Twilight turn to someone like her, for a problem like this. "Applejack, are you alright?" The mare was quivering, face blushed around the cheeks and paled everywhere else. Applejack was shuddering, like she had a bomb in her chest and wanted to scream, but screaming would set it off. "Twi?" Twilight looks endearing at her companion, and tries her best to hide her worries. "Yes, Applejack?" The earth pony turns to her, her eyes large, round, black mirrors, rimmed with emerald. "When y'all was with that stallion..." She starts to shudder more violently, and Twilight considers going to comfort her, but as she gets up, she begins to shake worse. "... It made me feel somthin' that I never thought I'd feel before." Her eyes open, showing clear-as-day, her instability. "Ah felt jealous of him. As wrong as it sounds, I were jealous of that stallion." Twilight Sparkle looks at her companion, with a look of both confusion and understanding. "Why on earth would you be jealous of that dirtbag? He was insane!" Applejack; feeling even more nauseous that the pressure was back on her, decided that it was about time to let her guard down, to let her true colors fly. Twilight had told her secrets; it would be just wrong not to tell hers. "Twilight, Ah'v felt this way fer way too long. I jes' couldn't fix myself to tell ya'. I know how wrong it sounds, and Celestia if it don' make me a fillyfooler, but..." Applejack looks up once again, with tears rimming her eyes, streaking down her rose visage and wetting her cheeks. "Ah love you, Twilight. Ah always have."