Equestrian Pie

Chapter 1: Of Sex and Fertility

“Well, Pinkie,” Carrot said, opening the door to the room next to his and his wife’s, “this is your new room. What do you think?”

Pinkie’s eyes lit up. Everything about it was perfect. The room featured two separate floors with a staircase between them. The windows overlooked the streets of Ponyville and let in the brilliant light of the afternoon sun. The bed was ornate and a generous queen size. Though the walls were painted a simple beige, the first floor’s ceiling was dark pink with stars on it. She could immediately picture herself hosting parties in the new space, which meant she wouldn’t have to take over the front of the shop.

“This is super-duperific!” she cried, giving Carrot a bone-crushing hug. “I love it! It’s right next to your room, too!”

“Yes, Pinkie, I know.” The door to Carrot’s room creaked. Carrot and Pinkie looked over at it and saw that it was slightly ajar.

“That darned thing,” Carrot said. “It never closes quite right.”

“Maybe you could fix it?”

“We just don’t have the funds for it. But that’s okay, just as long as you don’t go peeking in on us anymore.”

“Gotcha,” Pinkie said. She looked back to her new room. “What happened to all the stuff you had in here?”

“Cup and I went through it all and shipped off what we wanted to keep to a storage facility in Trottingham.”

“So what’s my old room gonna be used for?” Pinkie was bouncing up and down, unable to contain her excitement.

“Well, with some luck, we’re going to turn it into a nursery,” Carrot said slowly. Pinkie stopped bouncing and let that information sink in with an ever growing smile.

“You mean you’re going to have a BABY?!? Oh, this is absolutely fantastic!” Carrot had thought it was impossible for Pinkie to get any more excited. When he saw her leaping and nearly hitting her head on the ceiling, he realized how wrong he had been. “I can’t wait to foalsit! So when is it coming?”

“Cup’s not actually pregnant yet...” Carrot said, feeling uncomfortable for even bringing it up.

“Oh...but you’re trying?”

“We’re trying.”

“You know, I’ve always wondered about that,” Pinkie Pie said, not even stopping to catch her breath. “What exactly do you have to try? Do you have to set something up with a stork? Do you get them shipped from a baby factory? Do you have to use unicorn magic?” If Carrot had been uncomfortable before, it was nothing compared to how he was feeling now.

Really? he thought, you’re a grown mare and you don’t know where babies come from?

“Well...” he said, “it’s complicated. Way too much to explain to you just now. Maybe you could ask one of your friends.”

“Oh, okay! I know just the mare to ask! Twilight knows everything about everything, so I’m sure she could tell me. See ya, Mr. Cake!” Pinkie dashed across the hall and down the stairs before Carrot could even blink. He shook his head, chalking it up to typical Pinkie antics.

***

“TWILIGHT!” Pinkie cried as she stormed into the library. Twilight jumped and nearly fell over from shock. Spike coughed up some fire in surprise.

“Pinkie, this is a library!” Twilight said. “You can’t just barge in shouting at the top of your lungs! You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Pinkie winced at the harsh tone of Twilight’s voice. Spike clutched his stomach and rubbed his head.

“Twilight, I don’t feel so good...” Spike moaned.

“And look what you did to poor Spike. What is so important that you had to come barging in here?”

Pinkie perked right back up to her normal level of enthusiasm. “Mr. Cake told me to ask you how babies are made.” Twilight’s eyes bugged out. She immediately turned to Spike, who was looking at her with a combination of confusion and curiosity. Twilight smiled sheepishly and chuckled.

“Yeah, okay, Pinkie,” she said. “Good one. Did Rainbow Dash put you up to this?” Pinkie looked at Twilight, confused.

“I’m not joking around, Twilight,” Pinkie said. “I don’t know anything.” Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously?” she asked.

“Yep!” Pinkie said.

“So what, your parents never gave you ‘the talk?’”

“Uh...I don’t know. I guess not. They didn’t tell me much of anything, really.”

“Okay, okay, that makes sense, given your upbringing.” Twilight said, taking a deep breath. She turned to Spike.

“Spike,” she said, “you’ve been working so hard today. Take a well-deserved break.”

“But Twilight,” Spike whined, “I’m curious, too.” Twilight thought on her hooves.

“I’m sure I have some spare amethysts or rubies in my room, if you want a snack.” The mention of gemstones did the trick.

“Wow, thanks, Twilight!” Spike nearly tripped over himself as he made his way upstairs. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief and turned her attention to Pinkie. She was gazing at Twilight with a childlike wonder in her eyes.

“Why’d you have to send Spike away?” she asked.

“You’ll understand in a minute,” Twilight said. “I still find it hard to believe you don’t know any of this.” Twilight thought about this for a second. “Well, now that I think about it, my parents never told me about it either. I learned it from my brother, not the best source if you ask me.”

“Why not?”

“He was a bit...graphic in the way he described it.” Pinkie frowned, feeling like she was missing something obvious.

“How bad could it be? This is babies we’re talking about. They’re all cute and fluffy and fun!” Twilight shook her head and sighed. This was going to be harder than she thought.

“Look, perhaps I should just start from the beginning,” she said. “Sit down.” Pinkie took a seat in one of the library’s couches. Twilight sat opposite her on a different couch, facing away from the stairs.

“So,” Twilight said, twiddling her hooves, “maybe we should just start with what you already know.”

“Okay!” Pinkie said, eager as always to contribute to the discussion. “Let’s see...I know it’s between a mare and a stallion, and that the mare and the stallion have to do something...but I don’t know what that something is. Then a long time later they get a beautiful bouncing baby! Though I have no idea where it comes from...”

“Never mind that now,” Twilight said. “Right now, let’s focus on what the mare and stallion have to do to get pregnant.”

“What do they have to do?” Pinkie asked.

Oh, Celestia, how do I go about telling her? Twilight asked herself. She scratched her head, trying to find the most delicate way to educate this blissfully ignorant mare.

“Well...” Twilight said, “in order to make babies a stallion has to put his penis into her—”

“What’s a penis?” Pinkie asked. Twilight’s mouth dropped open.

“Okay, this has to be a joke. Are you seriously telling me you’ve never even heard of one?”

“Nope, it never came up.”

“Okay, fine, so you don’t know about a stallion’s genitals...”

“Geni-what’s its?” Pinkie asked. Twilight let out a sigh. How many more times am I going to do that?

“His private parts,” Twilight said.

“Oh, you mean like where his pee-pee comes from?” Pinkie asked. “What does that have to do with anything?” Twilight groaned.

“We’ll get to that in a minute. Now, you have to know about a mare’s genitals, right?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s like a little hole in me.”

“Okay, so you know that much,” Twilight said. “That’s a good start. Now, let’s go back to a stallion’s genitals for a minute. They have a...well, let’s just say their genitals are external. They protrude from the body and are visible to anypony who looks down there.” Twilight blushed, but continued nonetheless. “On the other hoof, a mare’s genitals are internal. You don’t see what’s going on down there.”

“So what do a stallion’s...genitals...look like?” Pinkie asked. Twilight gulped and shifted her eyes.

At that moment, Spike began to make his way downstairs, wanting to ask Twilight where the gems were. When he heard the word “genitals,” his curiosity overcame his desire to eat. He stopped to listen in to what they were saying.

“Maybe I should just show you,” Twilight said. She used her magic to bring down a book from the highest shelf in the library. The name of the book was Interspecies Reproduction: From Courting Behavior to Infancy Genetics. Twilight flipped through it quickly, looking for a specific diagram. Pinkie rose from the couch and looked over her shoulder, catching brief glimpses of some of the images, and these only added to her curiosity. Spike couldn’t see the contents of the book from where he was standing. He crept downstairs slowly to get a better look.

“I was a little too young when my brother first told me about sex,” Twilight said. “I thought it was disgusting at the time. Then when I got older, I asked Princess Celestia about it. I was afraid she was going to chastise me, but instead she smiled and took me to the library to find this book. I’ve kept it ever since.

“Aha! There we go.” Twilight had stopped on a large diagram of the stallion’s genitalia. Pinkie stared at the picture in wonder, having never seen the likes of it before. Spike could now see what they were looking at, and he was drawn to it, too. That looks like mine... he thought.

“The long end is called a penis,” Twilight said, “and the two round objects are testicles.”

“Wow, really?” Pinkie Pie asked. She and Spike were both riveted.

“Yes, really,” Twilight said. “And a mare’s genitals are called—”

“A vagina!” Pinkie cried, taking Twilight aback.

“How did you know that?” she asked.

“My mommy told me that one after I kept bugging her about it.” Pinkie smiled proudly. Twilight returned a half-hearted grin.

“So she didn’t hide everything from you,” she said. “Okay. Now, these two sets of genitals are the most significant difference between the sexes. They do not reach their full potential until they are joined together.” Twilight started flipping through the book again, then thought better of it and shut the book and placed it off to the side.

“Aw, no more pictures?” Pinkie asked. Spike shared the same sentiments, but couldn’t protest.

“Those diagrams still make me feel uncomfortable,” Twilight said. “Sorry.”

“That’s okay!” Pinkie said. “Now, what do you mean ‘joined?’”

“Well, as they say in medieval texts, the sword must fit the hilt. Do you get my meaning?” Pinkie frowned, gazing down at the floor.

“No...” she said dejectedly. Twilight took a deep breath.

“What do you do to unlock a door?” Twilight asked. Pinkie perked right back up.

“You fit the key into the hole, silly,” Pinkie said.

“Exactly, and it’s the same for the penis and the vagina. It’s like sticking a key into a lock.”

Pinkie grimaced when she finally understood the implication. Spike sat back, scratching his head in confusion. So mares have...a hole?

“But that’s where my pee-pee comes from,” Pinkie said. “Gross!” Twilight shook her head and huffed.

“The stallions don’t use that hole, Pinkie. They put their penis in a different one.”

“Still gross,” Pinkie said flatly.

“We’re actually biologically engineered so that the experience is pleasurable, enthralling even. This might be too personal a question, but have you ever...masturbated?”

“Huh?” Pinkie said. Twilight took a deep breath to calm herself.

“Have you ever touched yourself...down there?”

“Ew! No way!” Pinkie cried, but she suddenly frowned and turned away. Twilight leaned in closer.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Well, there was this one time where I thought I would try it, and Mommy walked in on me before I could really do anything. She said ‘Pinkie, that is not okay. Go outside and move the rocks into the silo! Some hard work will get those filthy thoughts out of your head.’

“So I went out and moved the rocks into the silo, and I was very sad. Then when I came in Mommy sat me down and explained that she didn’t want me to be ‘corrupted’ by these thoughts and she made me Pinkie Promise that I would never do it again.”

“Well,” Twilight said, “your mother was wrong. Masturbation is a perfectly healthy activity. In fact, it’s actually a lot of fun.” Twilight smiled and her cheeks became rosy.

“You mean it’s a good thing?”

“Yes, Pinkie. Masturbating feels, well...electric is the best word I can think of, like your body is just taking off for a precious moment, at least when you do it right.”

“So it’s super-duper fun?”

“Yes.”

“Can you show me how to do it?” Pinkie asked eagerly. Twilight recoiled in horror.

“Absolutely not, that’s way too personal. But, if you want, I could show you the relevant section in that book.” Pinkie’s mouth hung open in excitement. Spike leaned forward so as not to miss a single image.

“Oh, could you? Pretty please?”

“All right, give me a second,” Twilight said. She levitated the book over to her and began flipping through the pages. Spike leaned over closer, head poking through the banister. Pinkie gazed over her shoulder.

“Ah, yes, here we go,” Twilight said. The diagrams were of a mare’s haunches. Numerous images of a hoof positioned over it, with arrows indicating motion. Twilight read the text aloud. “‘Although critics believe it is a futile effort, masturbation is a method both mares and stallions use to induce their own orgasms.’”

“What’s an orgasm?” Pinkie asked.

“It’s that electric feeling,” Twilight said. She cleared her throat and continued reading. “‘The techniques for each sex are dramatically different, given the obvious differences between the genitalia. Stallions...’ Oh, but that doesn’t exactly answer your question.” Twilight flipped through the pages some more. Little did she know that she had left Spike hanging.

“Okay, here it is,” Twilight said. “‘Mares use their hoof as well, only it is a bit harder for them to produce an orgasmic sensation because the areas most responsive to sexual touching are primarily inside the vagina, thereby out of reach. Nevertheless, stimulation of the outer folds of the vagina can produce a euphoric effect if done properly. The best type of motion, according to experts, is circular, rubbing around the folds, although simple up-and-down motion may prove effective as well. The important thing to remember is the pace. Start slowly and gradually build up the intensity, and your hoof will instinctively rub faster and more aggressively when you start feeling the pleasurable response.’ And...that pretty much explains it, I think,” Twilight said.

“I never knew that...” Pinkie said.

That made absolutely no sense, Spike thought. He glanced down and noticed that his penis had grown in size and felt firmer. What the hay is this? He blushed and covered it with his claws, trying not to look at it.

“So,” Twilight said, shutting the book and putting it aside, “the reason ponies masturbate is to simulate the feeling of sexual intercourse. Now, a mare usually—”

“Intercourse?” Pinkie asked. Twilight’s patience was wearing thin at this point, but she restrained her temper.

“Key and lock, Pinkie. Key and lock,” she said. Pinkie’s eyes lit up in understanding. Spike, however, huffed in frustration, then held his mouth, hoping he hadn’t been overheard. Twilight and Pinkie Pie hadn’t noticed.

“I think I get your meaning now,” Pinkie said. Spike, however, was so confused that he almost asked what they were talking about. He put a hand over his mouth in horror.

“The mare and the stallion have genitals,” Pinkie continued, “and when you put ’em together it feels really good. But what does that have to do with a baby?” Twilight was delighted that Pinkie had understood everything she had said so far. This uplifted her spirits and encouraged her to continue teaching her friend.

“Without getting too technical,” Twilight said, “a stallion has a special fluid that, when it enters a mare while she’s in heat, might produce a foal. You know what being in heat is, right?”

Oh yeah, Spike thought, heat... Twilight hadn’t been able to hide that from him. She would always became irritable and demanding during that time. Then, in a few days, she would feel bad and apologize up and down for being short with him.

One time her behavior had gotten so bad that Spike had asked her why she was being so mean, and Twilight had told him it was because she was in “heat.” She hadn’t elaborated any further. When she had calmed down, Spike asked her again what heat was, and she had written it off by saying she was “sick.”

“Yeah, I know,” Pinkie said, shuddering. “It’s hot and it really hurts down there. I didn’t know what to do, so I asked my parents how to deal with it.”

“And what did they suggest?”

“They gave me an old family recipe that had been passed down for generations of Pies. That, and Mommy said a cold bath always helps, too.”

“Interesting...” Twilight said, thinking about it. “Any chance I could have that recipe?”

“Family secret, Twilight!” Pinkie said emphatically. “Family secret. I Pinkie Promised never to tell anypony outside the family.”

“Okay, okay,” Twilight said, holding her hooves up.

“Heat is the time in a mare’s cycle where she is most hungry for sex,” she continued, “and the only time she is able to get pregnant. When the stallion’s fluid enters the mare, it can produce a baby. The baby grows in the mother’s womb for about eleven months and then it leaves through the vagina.” Both Pinkie Pie’s and Spike’s eyes widened in horror.

“Through the...what?” Pinkie shouted.

“Lower your voice, please,” Twilight said. “The baby comes out through the vagina.”

“But that’s so gross!” Pinkie said, wincing. “That must really hurt!”

“Yes,” Twilight said with an awkward smile, “I’ve been told the experience is quite painful, but worth it as soon as a mother looks into her new foal’s eyes.” Pinkie was still cringing, making it clear that she didn’t believe Twilight.

“Whatever you say...” Pinkie said. “Anything else?”

“I think I’ve covered just about everything you need to know. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable,” Twilight said tentatively. Pinkie gave her a reassuring smile.

“Oh, no way. That was great, Twilight! Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome, Pinkie, any—” Twilight was cut off when Pinkie crushed her in an embrace. Twilight tolerated it until she couldn’t breathe, but then Pinkie pulled away from her.

“Hey, can I borrow that book?” she asked. “I really wanna read it.”

“Are you sure you want to be carrying that around?”

“I don’t think anypony’s gonna stop me and look at what library book I’m taking out.”

“All right. I can’t turn down anypony who wants to study. You can borrow my saddle pack and put it in there.” Pinkie grabbed Twilight’s saddle pack and placed the book inside it before putting the pack on her back.

“Thanks, Twilight. I gotta get going now. See ya!” She bounded out of the library, singing a tune to herself with no discernable lyrics. Twilight shut the door after her. She turned around to see Spike sitting on the stairs. His hands were still covering his boner, which thankfully was now receding.

“How much of that did you overhear?” Twilight asked sternly. Spike panicked and started to stumble over his words.

“I swear I didn’t hear anything! I just came down to ask you where the gems were and I only caught a little bit of what you were saying and I...I...” Spike sighed.

“Spike...” Twilight said, staring him down.

“Okay, fine, I heard almost everything.” He turned away his face in shame.

“Do you understand now why I sent you away?” Twilight asked. Spike lifted his head and sighed.

“Yes...” he said. Twilight smiled affectionately.

“It’s all right, Spike,” she said. “You can relax.” Spike took a deep breath and started talking at rapid-fire speed.

“What’s a vagina? What did you mean by a mare and stallion ‘joining together?’ What’s this fluid that you said comes out of a penis? Why is giving birth to a baby so painful? I gotta know!” Twilight felt the pressure emanating from him, but she took a deep breath and relaxed.

“It’s just about lunchtime,” she said. “Let’s eat, and maybe I can answer your questions. Does that sound good?”

“That sounds delicious...” Spike said dreamily. Twilight smiled and led him to the kitchen so they could eat.

***

Pinkie was lying down on the bed reading through the book she borrowed, currently engrossed in the chapter about courting.

When a mare wants to convey her sexual interest for a stallion, it is not uncommon for her to flick her tail up when she is walking away from him, thus offering a brief glimpse at her genitals. Though not very subtle, it has proven to be effective in catching the stallion’s attention, so that the next time he sees her he becomes much more engaged in conversation.

“Huh,” Pinkie said. “I would have never thought to do that...” Pinkie tried to continue reading, but she was distracted by voices coming from the Cakes’ room next door. Her curiosity got the better of her, so she put away the book and tried to listen in. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, but she could approximate the general tone, and it sounded like they were being affectionate. It was the same tone they used when they were happy to see each other. They must be having lots of fun together, Pinkie thought. Her heart skipped a beat, remembering what Carrot had told her earlier.

“Oh...but you’re trying?”

“We’re trying.”

Did that mean they were trying tonight? Pinkie didn’t want to believe it, but even she intuitively knew that if Carrot and Cup were talking affectionately to one another, they were clearly preparing to have some fun. And, since they were now trying for foals, that could only mean one thing...

The talking ceased. Pinkie could now only make out faint noises that sounded to her like smooches. It was the sound she had heard when she passed their room all those years ago.

Hmm, she thought, Twilight didn’t tell me there was smooching involved. A few more minutes later, the kissing sounds stopped. They were suddenly replaced by creaking noises that Pinkie immediately recognized as the same sound her bed made when she jumped on it.

Why is it so loud? she thought. I didn’t think sex involved bouncing on the bed... The sound was coupled by gasps and moans from the both of them. Occasionally, Pinkie could recognize that they were shouting, but couldn’t hear the words. What are they moaning about?

Now her curiosity had peaked. She climbed out of her bed and walked tentatively over to her door. Part of her screamed not to do this, to leave Mr. and Mrs. Cake alone, while another part of her desperately wanted to see what was going on.

You remember what Mr. Cake said this afternoon. You can’t go invading other ponies’ privacy!

Well, they’re the ones that are being loud. One quick peek to see what they’re doing and that’ll be it. Pinkie Promise! Her curiosity won out. Pinkie crept over to the door leading to the Cakes’ room. It was ajar, as she had expected, so she opened it ever so slowly and stuck her eye in.

What she saw stunned her. Mr. and Mrs. Cake weren’t jumping on the bed at all. Rather, he was standing over her humping her rump rhythmically. Carrot was panting as he did this, and Cup was grunting as she was literally being pounded from behind.

“Harder, harder!” she cried, and Pinkie could clearly hear her words now. Carrot responded by dramatically upping his pace and pushing with extra effort. Pinkie couldn’t see either of their genitals, but she assumed this was how they went about “joining” them, as Twilight had said.

As she watched them, she felt a latent burning between her haunches. It wasn’t unlike the sensation she recognized while she was in heat. The sensation steadily grew in intensity, and with it came a strong desire to reach down and touch herself, only this time, she actually understood why. Echoes of her mother’s words flew through her head, but Pinkie couldn’t contain herself any longer. What Mommy doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

She slowly reached down and touched her vagina with her hoof. She winced when she made contact, but her excitement flared as well, so she knew she was doing it correctly. As she watched Carrot thrusting into Cup, she began to run her hoof in circles around her private parts. When she grew hotter, she rubbed herself more vigorously, and she even started to pant as she worked herself. She kept going on in silence until she felt something slick touch her hoof.

Pinkie squealed in surprise, stopped rubbing herself, and looked at her hoof. A shiny liquid shimmered in the evening light. Before she could form a question about it, she heard Carrot and Cup stop shaking the bed.

“Did you hear something, honey?” Pinkie heard Carrot ask. Mortified, she backed away quickly and quietly, her heart pounding. She didn’t breathe until she heard the bed creaking again.

Pinkie took the opportunity to examine this liquid more thoroughly. It had definitely come out of her vagina, but it looked like water, not urine. Did it smell like urine? Pinkie brought her hoof up to her nose and sniffed. The odor was musky, but not harsh. It actually excited her a bit.

Is there more down there? Pinkie rubbed her vagina again, and it felt slippery to the touch. She brought her hoof back up and saw that more of the watery fluid coated it. Pinkie stared at it for a moment more before she became particularly bold and brought her hoof to her mouth. She tentatively stuck her tongue out and licked the fluid in her hoof.

She was blown away by the taste. It was sweet, but not the kind of sweet she found in cakes or pies or even raw sugar. This had a bit of a salty undertone which seemed to accent the flavor. She didn’t know what it tasted like exactly; all she knew was that it tasted good. Delighted at this discovery, she stuffed her hoof in her mouth and licked it clean, the juices tingling on her tongue.

Pinkie looked back through the doorway, and she saw that Carrot seemed to be thrusting his entire body into Cup’s back. The creaking sounds of the bed were really loud now. Suddenly, Cup started screaming. Pinkie was terrified until she realized it was the kind of screaming she made when she was excited about something. Amidst the screaming she could make out a single word. “CARROT!”

She must feel really good, Pinkie thought. She imagined it had to do with Carrot’s penis being inside of her, as Twilight had taught her. She continued to watch as Cup screamed and Carrot gasped. It lasted for a moment more, and then they stopped moving. Carrot climbed off of his wife and laid down next to her, kissing her affectionately.

With nothing more to see, Pinkie slowly returned to her room and climbed into bed. Images of what she had witnessed flashed through her mind, making her stomach rumble with excitement and stimulating more heat in her haunches.

Pinkie lowered her hoof to her vagina and rubbed it. That burning sensation she felt earlier came back, and this time, in the privacy of her own room, she decided to test how good this sensation could feel. She rubbed herself vigorously, trying to push her hoof into her hole, but it was too big to fit. That didn’t stop her excitement from mounting, though. Echoes of Carrot’s name spurred her on, and then an image suddenly came to her.

Cup was lying on the bed, Carrot towering over her, thrusting into her backside. His penis was firmly inside her, and each successive thrust made her cry out in delight. Cup gasped and moaned as Carrot worked her, until her excitement mounted so much that she started screaming his name.

At this moment, Pinkie felt a surge of energy rush through her, far more powerful than the adrenaline rush she felt in the middle of a party. The raw sensation overwhelmed her brain until she could form no coherent thought, only blind ecstasy. Pinkie had just enough self-control to keep herself from screaming, from releasing the energy that was pent up inside her. She was bucking her hips, rubbing herself furiously, until the searing sensation started to subside. Pinkie’s breathing returned to normal and she stopped rubbing herself. Once the energy had died all the way down, Pinkie’s thoughts recovered. She felt an immense feeling of satisfaction, and with it a drowsiness that had eluded her earlier.

Pinkie closed her eyes and fell into a dreamful sleep.

***

Four Months Later...

Carrot strained himself as he pounded into Cup from behind. They grunted as he thrust back and forth, struggling to maintain their energy. Carrot’s erection was causing him a lot of pain, but he knew he had to work through it if he was to succeed at this. As usual, her warm, moist walls coated him, and the feeling would have been a lot nicer if he wasn’t straining himself so hard.

Still, sex was sex, and inevitably Carrot brought himself to release. He felt his semen leave him, but in the back of his mind he knew that he wasn’t shooting a full load. Cup was glad to feel her husband’s sperm swim inside her, but other than that she felt nothing. Her legs were sore from holding her back up, and their throbbing held most of her attention. Once Carrot’s dick had receded and he pulled out of her, the two collapsed on the bed and groaned. Carrot had actually worked up a sweat in the late July heat, and the humidity combined with his exhaustion threatened to send him to sleep. Cup placed her hoof on top of Carrot’s and smiled at him.

“Think you can go a third round?” she asked. Carrot buried his face into his pillow and screamed. Cup propped herself up and shook him, worried.

“Are you alright?” she asked. Carrot extricated his face from his pillow and glared at her.

“Does it look like I’m alright?” Carrot asked. “No I can’t go another round! That last erection had me in pain. My hips are sore. I’m about to pass out, and it’s not even noon yet. What more do you want from me?” Cup’s brow furrowed.

“Just look for a second,” Cup said, reaching for her nightstand. She pulled out a calendar, upon which she had marked when she had been in heat in green and when it had subsided in blue. The month of September was circled in bright red. “I’m on my seventh day. I’ll be lucky to get through tomorrow before I stop ovulating. Then we only have a week in August! After that, we hit autumn and I won’t be able to get pregnant again until April of next year.”

“I already know that!” Carrot snapped. “What do you want me to do about it?”

“I need you to hold on just this one more time and then we can try again tomorrow—”

“Forget it!” Carrot cried, wrenching himself off the bed. “I’m just so fucking sick of this...” Cup winced; Carrot never used language unless he was really angry.

“What is your problem?” Cup asked.

“I’m tired!” Carrot cried, glaring at his wife. “Tired of being used over and over for sex! It’s supposed to be the greatest feeling in the world, not a fucking chore!”

“For Celestia’s sake, do you want a baby or not?”

“Of course I want a baby! But you’ve gotta draw the line somewhere. I’m barely shooting anything because I have no time to recover. I’m a one-pump chump, Cup. I wasn’t made to spout semen constantly like a fucking fountain! And you don’t even know how much an erection hurts after the first time. It’s like that feeling you get when your hoof starts having cramps. It’s no carnival ride. And I’m barely feeling any excitement when I cum anymore, because I’ve done it so much these past couple of days—scratch that, every time you’re in heat—that it’s just lost its appeal. I know you want me to be a trooper, to tough it out for the greater good. But I’m exhausted! I’ve only been up a few hours and I could use another eight hours of sleep right now. So before you ask me if we can go again, just stop and think about it, will ya?” Carrot stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Cup felt totally drained. She always hated Carrot’s tone when he was upset about something, but she hated it even more now because she knew he was right. She could only ask so much of him, and she had overstepped her bounds again. Every time I’m in heat, this happens... It’s like we were made to never have kids!

Cup froze, thinking about what she had just said to herself. Could that be the problem? Is this a medical issue? Cup was horrified to consider it, because if that were the case then they could never have a foal of their own. But this had been going on after months of rigorous sex during every heat cycle, and they had no foal to show for it. Cup considered this more carefully, and she came to the conclusion that even though the truth might hurt, she had to know for sure whether or not they could actually produce foals.

Now it’s just a question of how to do it. Cup knew that she would have to have both of them tested. She had no problem going into the doctor’s office if it meant finding out if she could have a baby. But what about Carrot?

Cup rose from the bed and knocked on the bathroom door. She heard hoofsteps, and then the door opened just a creak, only showing one side of Carrot’s face.

“What?” he asked curtly.

“I was just thinking, this has been going on for months with no results, so maybe this is more than just bad luck. One or both of us may have a medical problem that’s keeping us from getting pregnant. Maybe we should go to the doctor and get tested—”

“Absolutely not,” Carrot said flatly.

“What?” Cup asked, now very annoyed.

“I’m not going to tell some doctor that we’re having issues in the bedroom. That’s a private matter that has to stay between us.”

“Stop being so stubborn and listen to me. I’m trying to get us some help.”

“How?” Carrot asked, smiling incredulously. “How do you think it will help us? If there’s a problem, it means we’ll never have kids! If there isn’t, then we’re right back where we started.”

“But don’t you want to know for sure?” Cup asked tentatively.

“Uh-uh. I won’t do it. I just won’t...” Carrot’s anger lost steam as he fell to saddening thoughts. He shut the door on Cup, who was now fuming because her husband was refusing to cooperate.

Fine! she thought. I’ll just have to find a way to get your sperm tested without you. What to do, what to do...

***

Cup decided to give Carrot a week off from sex to help calm him down. She noticed after a few days that he was gradually returning to his perky self. During this time, she had debated how to collect a sample of his sperm to take to the doctor’s without him knowing. While Carrot had been out on an errand, Cup had set up a meeting with Stethoscope, Ponyville’s resident doctor, to get both of them tested. That meeting was tomorrow.

Cup was worried, but she thought she had a way out of her dilemma. Before they had seriously started trying for foals, Carrot was having trouble sleeping. They hadn’t wanted to try pills because Carrot didn’t want to become addicted to them. Listening to soft music only kept Cup awake, so that was out, too. They had found at least some semblance of an answer by accident after Cup had given him a blowjob. It didn’t always happen, but once she had finished, especially if she’d taken her time, Carrot would sometimes fall asleep.

During Cup’s heat, the rigorous sex tired him out enough, so they only used this tactic during the off weeks with some success. So, Cup figured it wouldn’t hurt to go about this tactic again. It wasn’t foolproof, as she wished it was, but trying certainly couldn’t hurt.

She was lying in bed with him when she tried to put her plan into action.

“Honey, I know we got into a fight last week, and I know I really upset you. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” With a week gone, Carrot’s mood had lifted completely.

“You don’t have to apologize, honey,” Carrot said. “I understand where you’re coming from.”

“Oh, but I still feel so terribly guilty for what I put you through,” Cup said, accentuating the word “guilty” with as much flirtatious undertone as possible. “There just has to be a way for me to make it up to you.” Carrot smiled lasciviously.

“Well, I am feeling a bit restless, so maybe we can try that magical sleep aid.” Cup was thrilled that Carrot had been the one to suggest it. It made it so less suspicious.

“I suppose I could do that for you,” Cup said with a smile. “Come here and give me a drink, you big lug.” Wasting no time, Cup lowered her head to Carrot’s limp dick.

We can’t have that now, can we? Cup thought. She licked him gently from base to tip, slathering his cock with her saliva in an effort to make it slippery and easier to take. Her husband’s subtle moaning was an added bonus. With every stroke of her tongue he grew longer and harder. To help him along, she cupped his testicles with her hoof and rubbed them gently. Carrot breathed deeply, immensely enjoying the dual sensation. Gradually his penis extended to its full length.

Cup decided to tease him a little more, to take it slow. It had been a while since they’d last done this, and she felt he deserved the most sensual experience possible. She tenderly kissed his sodden tip, lapping up his salty precum and relishing in its taste. She gazed up at her husband with such passion and care, trying to convey with her eyes how desperately she wanted to please him. Carrot looked down at her, and she saw his eyes shimmering with delight. The eye contact was electric, adding heat to the slow-burning fire. They held the stare for a while longer, but then he closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the pillow while her gaze returned to his member.

She gently wrapped her lips around the tip of the penis and suckled on it. She could smell the musk of his member, and it made her instinctively reach down her crotch and stroke herself. After all, she might as well have gotten some pleasure out of this, too. Dainty squelching noises emanated from her mouth, eliciting a moan from Carrot. Cup continued to tease him until he finally couldn’t take it any more. He moaned loudly.

Okay, Cup, she thought, you’ve teased the poor man long enough. She moved quickly, taking as much of his member as she could in her mouth until his tip touched the back of her throat. She had long since learned how to handle her breathing in this situation, so she took in air through her nose as she sucked on his wet cock. She rubbed herself more vigorously, feeling the heat in her loins flare under her touch.

“Yes, yes...” Carrot whispered as her sucking, and the sounds it made, intensified. Feeling her warm saliva coating his cock, his loins clenched. He knew it what was about to come, but, as per Cup’s request, he did not warn her of the impending load.

Cup had enough experience, however, to recognize when her husband was about to cum. She pulled her mouth up a little bit so that his cum wouldn’t slide straight down her throat when it came shooting out of her husband’s dick. Carrot started panting and bucking his hips as the sensation rocked him to his core.

That’s it, baby, Cup thought, just a little more... Cup lapped at his tip with her tongue, feeling the slickness of it and tasting its saltiness. Her husband’s bucking was making holding on to his penis difficult, as it always did, but Cup stayed the course. Carrot moaned his wife’s name loudly and let some hissing noises escape from his mouth. Cup was sure that the erection was seconds away.

Then the floodgates broke open. Cup lost herself for a moment and eagerly made to swallow her husband’s load before remembering the whole purpose of this exercise. She held as much as she could in her mouth, swallowing slightly anything her mouth didn’t have room for. She felt her own excitement mounting as she vigorously rubbed herself, but an orgasm would more than likely make her spit out Carrot’s precious sperm. She lifted her hoof away and held Carrot’s slowly receding dick in it, pumping it in an effort to get more of his thick fluid to pour out. But soon it seemed he was spent, and as Cup released his dick from her mouth, she could hear the heavy breathing of her husband that indicated he was fast asleep.

Thrilled that her plan was working perfectly, she crept into the bathroom, semen threatening to burst from her mouth. She held it in, however, as she opened the closet and found the plastic container she had stored in there earlier. She opened the lid and then let the semen spill from her mouth into the container. There was enough there to fill half the container. Oh, I hope that’s enough.

She put the lid back on the container and rinsed out her mouth in the sink. She then carefully opened the bathroom door and snuck over to her saddle pack, where she stored the specimen. Confident that Carrot would never know, she relaxed and climbed back into the bed, letting herself fall into a dreamy sleep.

***

“I’m going out to lunch!” Cup called into the kitchen. “Send Pinkie up front.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie called, bounding out of the kitchen to man the counter. “Enjoy your meal, Mrs. Cake!”

“Thank you, Pinkie.” Cup put on her saddle pack and left the bakery. She walked down the streets of Ponyville, wary of running into somepony she knew. She preferred to keep her “problem” between herself and Stethoscope, as she had emphatically stated when she had gone to make the appointment. Thankfully, she ran into nopony she knew on the way to the doctor’s office, and she knew nopony in the waiting room either.

She had arrived five minutes before her appointment, but it was another fifteen minutes before the nurse stepped into the waiting room and called her name.

“Thank you,” Cup said. The nurse led her to Stethoscope’s office and opened the door, gesturing for Cup to step inside.

“He’ll be right with you,” the nurse said before closing the door. Cup was left to sit on the table. Now that she was here, at the office, she was fraught with worry. She began to second-guess herself, asking herself why she came here, and what would happen if she found out that she could never have foals. Her worry escalated to outright terror before Stethoscope stepped into the office. The sight of another pony caused Cup to relax, knowing that she was not in this alone.

“How are you doing this afternoon, Mrs. Cake?” Stethoscope asked.

“Just fine, doctor,” she said.

“Now, I’m sorry that your husband couldn’t be here today to discuss this with us. Do you have a sample of his sperm?” Cup reached into the saddle pack and pulled out the plastic container filled with her husband’s semen. Stethoscope smiled, lifted the container with his magic, and placed it in a cabinet to be examined later.

“Splendid,” he said. “Now, we’re going to get a sample of your blood to check your hormonal levels. Also, with a little bit of magic, I can check your fallopian tubes for obstructions and also get an estimation of the number and health of your eggs.” Cup fidgeted nervously on the table. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, I just didn’t expect this to be so...so...”

“Thorough?” Stethoscope suggested. He chuckled. “Well, testing a mare for fertility is a much more complicated affair. But before we get into all that, I’m going to ask you about your health, how often you’re participating in intercourse, just basic questions to see if there isn’t a problem in those areas. Is that alright?”

“Yes,” Cup said, breathing deeply. The doctor levitated a clipboard and quill to him. After each question, he scribbled down quick notes. He was skilled at getting this questioning done quickly and efficiently.

“All right. Have you had any medical issues during your lifetime?”

“Well, I broke my leg when I was about eleven, but it healed well enough. Would that cause a problem?”

“I don’t think so. Did you undergo surgery for it?”

“They just put it in a cast and it recovered within a few months.”

“All right. Any other surgeries, or have you had any illnesses?”

“None.”

“Okay. Do you use any medications, prescription or otherwise?”

“No.”

“Drink any coffee? Alcohol?”

“Sometimes I’ll drink a cup of coffee to get me through a long day, but I’ve never made a habit out of it.”

“That’s not unusual. Are you exposed to any chemicals or toxins at work?”

“I work in a bakery. We use all natural ingredients.”

“That’s a no then. How often do you have sex?”

“We, uh...we fool around when I’m not in heat. When I’m in heat, it’s usually once or twice a day.”

“You really want to get pregnant, don’t you?” Stethoscope asked gently. Cup sniffled a bit.

“Y-yes...”

“I understand. Every couple I see really has their heart set on raising a foal. Well, we’re going to make sure you can get one. We’ll do everything we can to make that dream a reality.” Stethoscope gave her a warm smile, which Cup returned.

“T-thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Stethoscope cleared his throat. “Any sexually transmitted diseases or other sexual problems?” Cup took a deep breath.

“No.”

“Have either of you had sex outside of your own relationship?”

“Not at all.”

“That’s very romantic of you,” Stethoscope said. Silence hung in the air for a moment. “Have you ever been pregnant before? Actually, I don’t know why that question’s even on this sheet. That’s a no, right?”

“Yes,” Cup said, laughing a bit.

“Okay. How consistent is your heat cycle?”

“Once every three weeks, on the dot.”

“Impressive. Is this the first time you’ve come here with this issue?”

“Yes, this is my first time.”

“Alright, this line of questioning is done.” Stethoscope placed the clipboard down on his desk. “We’re going to run those other tests now so we can fix any problems we might find. Okay?”

“Yes,” Cup said with conviction.

“Very good, then.” Stethoscope levitated a sterile needle to Cup’s leg. Cup pulled back for a moment.

“Can you take the blood from somewhere less...obvious?” she asked.

“Oh? How come?” Stethoscope looked puzzled.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t really want my husband to know I’ve come here today.”

“Oh...okay. That’s not that unusual. Let me try this...” Stethoscope aimed the needle underneath, a little above her chest. Cup looked away and gritted her teeth, just as she used to do as a foal. There was a prick of pain, but the blood was drawn quickly and soon he extracted the needle. He cleaned the wound and placed a clear bandage on it.

“That should be subtle enough,” he said.

“Thank you,” Cup said with a smile.

“Okay, now to check the tubes and the eggs.” Cup lay on the table and Stethoscope held his horn close to Cup’s waist. His horn glowed, and suddenly he could see through Cup’s coat to the fallopian tubes in her body. Cup didn’t dare look during this examination; the thought of seeing her insides freaked her out. Not too long later, the examination was done.

“Now for the uterus,” Stethoscope said. Again, his horn revealed the inner workings of Cup’s body. This examination took a bit longer, but it was finished after a few minutes. Cup stepped down from the table.

“Well,” Stethoscope said, “as far as I can tell, there’s nothing wrong with your fertility. We’ll have to see what the blood test tells us, but your health is impeccable, your fallopian tubes are normal, and your eggs look healthy. You can set up an appointment for next week so we can give you the results of the blood and sperm tests. Just go to the secretary in the waiting room. Do you have any questions for me?”

“No, doctor. Thank you.”

“My pleasure. You have a nice day.” Cup stepped out of the office feeling better than she had when she walked in. In one week, the mystery would finally be solved.