I am War.

Twilight strolled along the town, Excolotis following in his new outfit. Many ponies turned to look at him as he walked; arcing eyebrows at him as he walked past. Some of them nodded at his outfit, appreciating good craftsmanship when they saw it, whereas others stared, or just went away to have a lie down. Rarity had elected to stay at the Boutique, having been rather ashamed of her actions, and asking Spike to take down a letter to Celestia.

Applejack had headed back to the farm to take care of a few things, make sure that everything was going along well.

“So, Twilight; what’s with that... what was her name again?”

“Lyra.”

“Ah, yes, Lyra, thank you.” Excolotis nodded, “What was with Lyra?”

“Well,” said Twilight, “she’s always believed that some sort of fantasy creature called a human exists, and she thinks that you are one.”

“Oh, but I am one.” Said Excolotis, “In fact, all of Ponydom is nothing more than a failed attempt to create a slave race so that mankind could live in luxury, free from menial chores.”

Twilight stopped in her tracks, and stared at Excolotis.

“In all actuality,” he continued, “If it weren’t for Celestia and Luna instigating a rebellion, you would still be under the servitude of your true masters.”

Twilight gaped at Excolotis. “But... I... Bwuh!?”

“Too easy,” smirked Excolotis, “I’m lying, Twilight!”

“Oh thank goodness!” breathed Twilight, “I thought you were serious for a second!”

“Oh no,” laughed Excolotis, “I got the whole story from a book.”

Twilight chuckled at that. “Oh look, we’re here, at Sugar Cube Corner. Where Pinkie works.” she said, “now comes the awkward part.” Her ears flicked against her head and she breathed in, then out; the prospect of walking into Sugar Cube Corner had her all nervous.

“I know how you feel, Twilight.” said Pinkie Pie, shifting the saddlebags on her back into a more comfy position.

Twilight jumped a good foot into the air, while Excolotis whipped round, crouched low and fists raised. “PINKIE PIE!” He yelled, “Don’t sneak up on me!”

“Sorry,” said Pinkie, ‘And Twi? I’m really, really, really sorry about my big grump. Friends?”

“Oh Pinkie,” sighed Twilight, “I can’t stay mad at you. And I’m sorry I was so insensitive, but I just can’t see how killing would be the only option. Not trying to be insulting here! I accept that it may be, but I don’t see how.”

“And I hope you never will.” said Excolotis sadly, straightening up from his crouch.

“Oh, that reminds me.” Chirped up Pinkie Pie, rummaging through her bags, “I was supposed to read this note out loud. ‘I’m really, really sorry about the long wait. Thanks for reading, don’t stop being the wonderful, intelligent, brilliant people that you are. Yours kindly, TheAussieBlue’”

“What the hay does that mean?” asked Twilight, “and who the heck is the Aussie blue?”

“Oh, the message wasn’t for you silly,” smiled Pinkie Pie, “it’s meant for THEM!” Pinkie waved her hoof in a general direction; north, in this case.

“Okay then,” said Twilight, shrugging off the strange behaviour, “so should we meet up later, say, the barn in two hours?”

‘Of course, silly,” giggled Pinkie Pie, “That’s when the party’s on!”

“This ought to be good.” smiled Excolotis, “Any advice for the party, girls?”

“Just act like you,” smiled Twilight, “a relationship based on lies will never work.”

“Oh!’ said Pinkie, “That ought to be in one of your letters!”

“It was.” smiled Twilight, before her eyes widened, and she clamped a hoof in her mouth.

“Uh, wait...” said Excolotis, “Letters?”

“Oh, yeah!” giggled Pinkie, “when Twilight...”

“When I first came to Ponyville,” interrupted Twilight, sticking a hoof in Pinkies face, “I was on constant contact with Celestia. I was her personal student after all. And I used to tell her nearly everything that happened in my letters. She practically raised me, after all!”

“Heh,” smiled Excolotis, “moving out from home for the first time always gets you nervous.”

“Exactly,” smiled Twilight, removing her hoof from Pinkies mouth, “Don’t you agree Pinkie?”

“Oh, of course,” Nodded Pinkie, “when I first went to Ponyville from the farm, I was really nervous. I was worried that nopony would like me, I was super nervous, and I wrote to my parents every day! Now it’s just once a week, tell them how I’m going, what’s new, that sort of thing.”

“So, we have an hour before everything’s ready, any ideas on what you want to do?” asked Twilight.

Excolotis shrugged. “Whom do I have left to meet?” he asked.

“Oh, well,” Twilight put her hoof to her lip and thought.

Fluttershy loved her animals. Being hired as the local wildlife expert was wonderful; ever since she had discovered the world below, she had always wanted to live with her new animal friends and care for them as she always wanted to. The tasks were always fun, and the warmth of seeing a wild animal return to the Everfree was one she always loved.

Her back yard was currently occupied by a cave bear which had come in with an injured back foot; Fluttershy was just taking off the bandages.

“Um... Okay, Mr. Bear.” She said gently, “could you please put all your weight on your hind feet?”

The bear nodded, and reared up, but its ankle was not quite healed as of yet, and it roared in pain with its fore paws in the air. Fluttershy began to stammer apologies, and slowly backed away so that she would not be crushed when the bear got back onto all four of its feet.

“Oh, no!” Fluttershy turned at Twilight’s cry, “Look out Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy opened her mouth to assure her friend that everything was alright, but flinched as a gargantuan behemoth ran past, with a weapon raised in its hands. Bellowing a ferocious war cry, the monster began to swing its terrible weapon in a swift arc.

“DON’T HURT HIM!” screamed Fluttersy.

Excolotis was already in mid-swing with his Zweihander when the cry reached his ears. He had come in to see a wonderful Pegasus called Fluttersy, when he had seen a butter coloured Pegasus being attacked by a bear. To his mind, only one solution was clear.

‘A bear is attacking an innocent. I will protect the innocent. The bear must be slain, as it is in the middle of an attack.’

But when the cry went through him, everything changed. He may not of have understood, but the buttery one had told him not to hurt the bear. So with a twist of his upper torso, Excolotis bent the angle and trajectory of the sword, sending it slicing across the dirt and grass. If it were not for his grip upon the handle of the blade, the Zweihander would have bounced across the garden, killing everything in its path; as it was, Excolotis knew that his wrists would be hurting for a few hours.

‘Oh, gods!” started Excolotis, ‘I’m sorry...”

“Oh! Um,” started Fluttershy, “you should be more careful, I... I mean, what if you’d hurt him?”

“God’s, that was completely my fault,” explained Excolotis, “I thought that he was going to hurt you.”

Fluttershy trotted up to the bear and soothed it, “Oh, It’s alright Mr. Bear, you’ll be fine,” she soothed, “Um...” Turning to Excolotis, she continued; “Wh... what made you think that he’d want to... to hurt me?” Fluttershy looked up at Excolotis, hiding her face behind her mane. She cringed as Excolotis turned to look at her, his face creased with worry. He could tell that the buttery Pegasus was terrified.

“Oh, well,” he said, taking a few steps back so as not to frighten Fluttershy, “I thought that when he reared up, he was going to attack you, so I tried to protect you. But I can see just how wrong I was. Can you forgive me?”

“Oh, well,” Fluttershy peeked out from under her pangs as she took the giant in, “If you’re really sorry, I don’t see why not...”

“That’s great!” Excolotis sighed, “Twi’, if you need me, I’ll be out front. I don’t want to hurt anything else; oh, and my name’s Excolotis. ”

“Fluttershy...” said the shy pony, sliding up to her friend for protection, like an oversized purple teddy bear.

Twilight stood with Fluttershy as Excolotis meandered past the house, and when he was out of sight, Fluttershy turned to Twilight; “Well, he’s not so bad.” She said, “In fact he seems a bit nice.”

“Nice, sure” snorted Twilight, “and don’t you go calling me ‘Twi’, the last thing I need is a nickname.”

“Oh, well, if it upsets you that much...”

“Sorry, Fluttershy,” smile Twilight, “I didn’t mean to snap.” she leaned in and nuzzled the buttery Pegasus, “but believe me,” she continued, turning to look at the house, “He’s very dangerous when angered. I don’t know what to make of him, but he’s not to be trusted yet.”

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” muttered Excolotis, smacking his head with the flat of his palm in between each word, “I just had to go and ruin it didn’t I? Oh gods, I’ve fucked up! My only real hope... is that they’ll be forgiving. And the Zweihander? Why did I pull that out?” Burying his face in his hands, Excolotis took a deep breath and steadied his nerve, “Okay,” he sighed, bringing his hands down from his face, “it could be worse, I could’ve killed the bear instead, so it’s not so bad...”

Excolotis turned and saw a half blind mail pony stuff some letters into a feeding tray. “Excuse me, sir?” called Excolotis, “That’s a feeding tray! The mailbox is to your left. No, other left!”

“Thank you,” said the pony, “I’m always been a bid hard of sight.”

Excolotis nodded and watched the brown pony trot off along his route. “Why would they have a blind pony deliver the mail? How does he tell which letter is which?”

“He doesn’t,” sighed Twilight, “He keeps delivering the mail to the wrong houses. It’s a real pain.”

With her head hung low, Twilight moved up to Excolotis, Fluttershy a few steps behind her.

“I’m really sorry, Mr Excolotis, sir...?” Fluttershy said, hiding behind her mane yet again.

“Oh, I can’t blame you for that.” Nodded Excolotis, “You were just trying to protect that bear, and if I had been responsible for hurting the bear, I think you would of have been justified in giving me a few bruises.”

“Oh, I couldn’t do that!” gasped Fluttershy, “That’d be just cruel.”

“Well,” smiled Excolotis, “That’s nice...”

Twilight looked back and forth between them, before putting a hoof to the bridge of her snout in frustration. Excolotis was fidgeting around Fluttershy, scared that he’d upset her, while Fluttershy was so nervous about the giant that she wouldn’t peep out of her shell to interact with him.

“Fluttershy,” Twilight said gently, “Do you need any help with the animals? I’m sure Excolotis could use something to do.”

“Oh, well,” stammered Fluttershy, ‘I... I don’t know, um, the birds need feeding... and Angel’s getting antsy about the spring, so I need somepony to separate Angel from the bunnies, and I’m running low on meat...”

“Wait, what!?” Twilight stared at her friend, a look of incomprehension on her face, ‘You store meat?”

“Oh, well, yes...” explained Fluttershy, “The weasels don’t eat plants, and neither do the snakes and bears. I was supposed to get a delivery a few weeks ago, but I haven’t gotten any shipments lately.”

Excolotis though for a moment, “How important are these shipments?”

“I need them by tomorrow, or I’ll have nothing left to feed the carnivores...” Fluttershy hung her head, “The animals are at half serving as it is.”

Excolotis looked at the ground for a moment. “I think I know how to solve your supply problem...”

Excolotis worked at carving shafts of wood from spare lumber, while Fluttershy brought a few spare flight feathers from ducks and various other birds. Excolotis used a jet black knife to carve in notches, and Twilight brought over glue made from the stem and petals of local flowers.

“So, what are you doing?” asked Fluttershy, “and how will this get my meat shipment here sooner?”

“Oh, well,” said Excolotis, “As Twilight here probably knows, I can generate all sorts of weapons, but if there’s one thing I can’t do, it’s make things like arrows and what not. Moving parts are out of the question, and any projectiles will dissipate the moment I let go.”

“I didn’t know that...” muttered Twilight.

“So...” continued Excolotis, giving Twilight an arched eyebrow, “I can use my bow and these arrows; thank you Twilight,” taking the glue, Excolotis continued, “to get you the meat you need.”

“What!?” said Fluttershy, “That’s barbaric! I won’t let you!”

“Easy, easy,” soothed Excolotis, “Just let me explain myself and if you still disagree, I’ll put these away, alright?”

Fluttershy nodded, “Right then,” Excolotis smiled, “what I’m going to be doing is simply bolstering your meat supplies a bit, I won’t be running around shooting anything I see, but I’ll just be bringing back a deer or something, alright? Maybe a bunny or two if I can’t find any deer...”

Fluttershy shook her head, “No, we’ll just have to make do!”

At that moment, a fluffy white rabbit jumped up onto Fluttershy’s head and kicked her a few times. He shook his head, and jumped back down.

“Oh, what is it Angel?” asked Fluttershy. Angel pointed at Excolotis, and then mimed shooting a bow, then drew his paw across his neck.

“Oh don’t worry, Angel,” smiled Fluttershy, “I won’t let him hurt any of your forest friends.”

Angel shook his head, then pointed to Excolotis, mimed the bow again, then pointed to a weasel, then started acting as if he was eating.

“Oh,” Fluttershy’s eyes widened, “You want him to go out and... Hunt...”

Angel nodded.

Fluttershy frowned. “But we still have enough food...”

Excolotis shook his head, “Tell you what Fluttershy; let’s see what happens tomorrow. If the shipment isn’t here yet, I’ll go hunting.”

Fluttershy nodded her head, “I don’t like it,” she said, “But I don’t know if we have any choice...”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” Excolotis agreed.

Fluttershy set out the last of the meat with a set of scales and weights, and gave Excolotis a list of instructions. “This is what you need to do,” explained Fluttershy, “These are the measurements,” a slip of paper was placed in Excolotis’ hand, “And the paper will tell you where to go, there’s a map on the other side, so don’t worry about that.” Excolotis nodded.

“Got it,” he smiled, “Anything else?”

“No,” said Fluttershy, “That should be about it.”

“Right, then I’ll be back in a bit.”

Excolotis took the pallet of meat and a pair of scales, and strode off to the predatory section of the facilities.  Twilight took a bag of seed in her magic, and followed Fluttershy as she trotted over to the bird cages.

“So, Fluttershy,” said Twilight, “What did you think of Excolotis?”

Fluttershy squeaked and looked at Twilight, circling her hoof in the dirt, “Well... It’s not really my place to judge... I mean, it wouldn’t be very nice... I don’t want to spread rumours...” Twilight sighed, and smacked her forehead with her hoof as Fluttershy began to hide her eyes behind her mane, an old nervous habit that Twilight thought she had beaten.

“Fluttershy,” groaned Twilight, “I’m not asking you to spread nasty rumours or call him a bully,” Fluttershy looked up, and Twilight decided to press a bit harder, “I just want your opinion.”

“I really don’t think that it’s my place to say...”

“Fluttershy...”

Fluttershy sighed and took a deep breath, a sign that she was about to go on one of her rather rare tirades, “Well... He’s a bit crude, he uses violence as a first solution; he doesn’t really think things through.” Said Fluttershy, “While he does consider others views he’s used to seeing things through his (admittedly violent) world filter, and he  doesn’t have an issue with killing. While he’s a good soul deep down, he’s used to living in a society that seems much more simplistic and brash than ours, so he’ll probably have trouble adjusting.”

“Huh.”

“Uh... I’m sorry if I was rude... um... was I interrupting? I’m sorry...” Fluttershy said.

“Oh, no...” smiled Twilight, “It’s fine. So, uh... the meat...”

“Oh!” Fluttershy, cringed, and looked down at her hooves. “I have to feed them that sort of thing from time to time... sorry... pl... please don’t hate me...”

“Oh, Fluttershy,” said Twilight, ‘Why would I hate you? You have to feed them, and it’s not like you harvest the meat yourself.”

“No, no I don’t.” smiled Fluttershy, leaning in for a hug, “Thanks Twilight.”

“Oh, that’s fine,” smiled Twilight hugging her friend back, “That’s quite fine.”

After they had helped Fluttershy feed the animals with Excolotis taking the largest of the beasts, the two had given their farewells, all three of them agreeing to meet again at the party later. Excolotis was still thoughtful, and had been staring off into the distance as they walked.

“What did you think of Fluttershy, Excolotis?” asked Twilight.

Excolotis said nothing.

“Excolotis?”

“She is... so gentle, and kind, and perfect.” Excolotis said, staring at the horizon, “But there’s steel in her voice. She is someone I would like to meet again and again, someone I wish I was more like.”

Twilight looked at the giant next to her is surprise. The concept of Excolotis wishing to be meek and small was a surprise to her. This giant had such strength, and walked with the confidence that she knew she lacked, and yet he wanted to be less? She had never come across someone who had wanted to be less, most just wanted to be more. Trixie, Gilda, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, even herself at one point; all wanted more power. But who would want to be like Fluttershy? Excolotis, apparently.

Twilight looked down at the road as she walked, deep in thought.

High above the town, Rainbow Dash glided upon the updrafts. It was no secret that she and pinkie were great friends, but what most didn’t know was that she loved Pinkie’s workplace for more than its sugary treats. Ever since Pinkie had moved out to make room for the twins, Rainbow had still been going there even when Pinkie wasn’t there during the day shift, making the more cynical ponies think that she was only interested in the bakery itself, and that the Cakes were a means to an end for her.

The few Pegasus who lived in Ponyville, however, knew different. To them Sugar Cube Corner had a more important purpose; the early updraft. Having the burst of warm air come up from the early baking meant that the Weather Patrol could get up in the air more quickly. This meant that the store was an impromptu meeting area when the morning crew were getting ready for work.

After the Cakes had twigged to what was happening, they had started to sell breakfast to the Pegasus waiting outside for their shift to start. This usually meant that the Weather Patrol ponies could sleep in a bit more, have a quick clean, flutter down to sugar Cube Corner, buy breakfast, work out the kinks, and then soar back up on an updraft that smelled like cookies.

Usually with a damp feather or two; Pumpkin hadn’t learned not to chew things yet.

Even now, Rainbow basked in the warm air that smelled of baking bread, and kept an eye out for the giant in town. Her eyes darted left and right as she glided off the bakery updraft and moved over the Daisy restaurant, using that updraft to keep her in the air more easily, circling as she went. This one did not smell as nice when she was full, but her stomach still growled at the smell of cooking foods. Most didn’t like the draft here, as it was greasy, and while it smelled even better when you were hungry, after a while you got a thin sheen of oil and grease on your wings, which was as unpleasant as all hell.

After getting a good few meters in height, Rainbow Dash drifted back over the town, using her wings as an impromptu paraglide to keep her in the air. Flitting back and forth, she began to make a final glide over the town; if she didn’t find what she was looking for, she was going to give up, and go hang out with Pinkie.

Her thoughts went back to earlier that day. While she didn’t like being a spy, she knew she had no choice...

“Princess, I... What is it?”

Celestia chuckled, “Don’t worry Rainbow Dash, you are not in trouble. I need you to do something for me.”

“Yeah?”

“There is a giant in Ponyville.” Celestia explained, “You’ll know him when you see him, but I need you to keep an eye on him. He’s dangerous, and I can’t let him run rampant. So I need you to come to Canterlot as quickly as possible if you get into any trouble, and raise the alarm.”

“But why me, asked Rainbow, “Why not a wonder bolt?”

“The giant will know if a wonder bolt is tracking him. You, Rainbow? You’re the weather captain, perfect for what I need.” said Celestia. “Do not fight him, just out run him. If you fight him, he’ll tear you apart. Literally.”

Rainbow swallowed, “You can rely on me, princess.”

Rainbow Dash snapped back to reality as she felt herself reaching the top of another updraft. Just as she was giving her last flutter over the town, she looked back at the Daisy, and saw Excolotis sitting at a table. Banking her wings, she went into a shallow dive, and began to cork screw.

“Would Madam and... Sir like to order?”

“Oh, yes,” said Twilight, “I’ll have a daisy sandwich and apple juice.”

The Daisy was an opened face house more than anything else, just one of a small chain that had stores in Manehattan and Canterlot. The owner of the franchise, Gold Coin, was a bit of a genius when it came to finances, and the staff of five ran a brilliant cafe that was a favourite of everyone. Come lunch time every day ponies would walk in for a meal, and on weekends the place was busier than ever with the young crowd that came here during breaks in shopping.

In fact, most young girls often came here on the way to Rarity’s boutique, the sound of laughter and valley girl phrases like: “Oh my gosh” and “I know, right?” or even “Then he said... then she said...” would flutter in the air, often making English teachers and the older pony folk wish that murder was legal.

Excolotis stared at the menu in his hands, pinched between this thumbs and fore-fingers. He did not bother to sit inside, deciding to sit instead at the table outside that barely came up to his calf, making him look like an adult sitting at a child’s plastic table. He snorted, and slouched in defeat. “Can I have five fruit salads?” he asked, “And a pitcher of water.” He started humming a slow tune; “...I find it kind of funny... I find it kind of sad... the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had...”

“Uh,” the waiter looked at Excolotis. The manager had been a bit nervous at first, but had quickly drawn Stylo et Plat aside to explain just how much of a business opportunity the giant was.

“Most ponies,” Silver Scales had explained, “can only eat one serving, but that behemoth is five times taller than any pony in existence, he’s bigger than Celestia for sun’s sake, so imagine how much he’ll order. Make sure he’s happy! Your job depends on it...”

Stylo et Plat nodded in resignation, “Very good sir...”

Stylo et Plat and Twilight started as Rainbow Dash landed with a thud and a gush of dirt. Customers muttered angrily as they sheltered their meals. Excolotis snorted and brushed down his jacket, and turned back to the table, scowling at the rude landing. Stylo et Plat frowned, and hurried off to take orders at another table, preferably far away from the rainbow maned tomboy who had ruined his coat.

“Rainbow Dash,” groaned Twilight, ‘How often do I have to tell you to watch the landings around food.”

“Yeah, sorry Twi...” said Rainbow, “But I was losing the updraft quickly, and I tucked the wings too soon...” Rainbow Dash stopped as Twilight looked at her, incomprehension writ across her face. “Sorry.”

“That’s fine,” Twilight sighed; holding up her hoof, Twilight pointed at the rainbow maned Pegasus, “Excolotis, this is Rainbow Dash, up and coming flyer and holder of the biggest ego in all of Equestria.”

“Hey!”

Twilights purple hoof turned and pointed at the crouched giant in the turtle neck and dinner jacket, “Rainbow Dash, this is Excolotis, ancient warrior god and probably the most dangerous thing alive. He’s a bit of an idiot.”

“What?!”

“That’s a bit mean.” Frowned Rainbow, ‘I know that was a bit of a jerk move I pulled, but still...”

Rainbow snorted and shook her head. “I suppose you do have a reason to be angry.” She turned to Excolotis, “so, you’re Excolotis, huh?” she asked.

“Yes.” He smiled, “and you’re Rainbow Dash.”

“You got that right!” she smirked, “I’m only the new up and coming flyer in Equestria!” she struck a pose, before fluttering her wings and flopping down on one of the seats.

“Yes, ego size of a planet. You were right, Twi.” Smirked Excolotis,

Twilight shot him a dark look. “Don’t call me Twi,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

“Oh what’s the matter Twi?” teased Rainbow, leaning forwards and putting both her hooves on the table, “Not liking your new nickname?”

Twilight groaned.

Before a new argument could break out, Stylo et Plat came past, holding up five fruit salads and one daisy sandwich, his horn glowing a pale blue as he deposited the dishes on the table. With another masterful pulse, a pitcher of water and a glass of apple juice floated down to land, along with two glasses.

Stylo et plat raised an eyebrow with millimetre precision as he stared at Rainbow. “Uh, can I help you?” asked Rainbow.

Stylo et Plat breathed deeply “What would Madam like to order?” he asked.

“Oh, uh,” Rainbow used her nose to flip open a menu from the table, and looked down the list. “I’ll have some hay fries, and a salad.” She smiled. Stylo et Plat crooked his eyebrow again, before walking off.

Excolotis stared at the fruit before him. “I’ve never seen fruit like this before,” he said, holding up a piece of fruit. “What is it?”

Twilight glanced at the fruit, before picking up her sandwich in a reddish glow. “It’s a cherry,” she explained, taking a bite out of her sandwich, “It groows een eewropa.”

“...what?”

“Sorree...” Twilight swallowed, “It grows in Europa; specifically in Prance and Deutschland.”

Excolotis popped the cherry into his mouth, before taking a bowl and tipping the whole contents into his mouth, cheeks bulging slightly as he chewed and swallowed. Twilight blinked, that would of have been a main course for a pony, but for the giant, it was barely a mouthful.

“This is brilliant,” smiled Excolotis, “You must be quite wealthy indeed to afford this!”

“It’s ... not that expensive,” said Rainbow, “Just a few Bits.”

“Bits?” asked Excolotis. ‘Back before... before we still used copper pieces. What’re bits?”

Rainbow sighed, and put a one Bit coin onto the table. “That’s a Bit.”

Excolotis boggled, “A gold coin! I underestimated your wealth! This meal must cost a fortune!”

Twilight giggled. “Excolotis, a Bit is about 0.02 copper pieces. Things have changed a bit. And this isn’t reserved for lords and nobles, but everyday ponies. In fact,” smiled Twilight, “in old Equestrian money, this meal cost me about seven coppers. And that’s including your fruit salads.”

“Huh.” said Excolotis, “I’ve never even heard of those countries.” He took the pitcher in his hand, and sipped from it. In his hand, it was no bigger than a mug.

“Prance has only been around for, oh, twenty one hundred years,” waved Twilight, “And Deutschland only existed for about twelve hundred.”

‘Heh,” smiled Excolotis, “I have much to learn.”

“I thought that you’d be taking this pretty badly.” Said Rainbow dash, cocking her head to one side, “It’s been... how long?”

“Four thousand years.” nodded Excolotis.

“Huh, really? So, anyway, I though that you’d be having trouble even understanding us, but you’re speaking Equestrian like a pro, and you’re not that freaked out. I’d ‘ve thought that by now you’d be all confused, like ‘what happened to the thatch’ and ‘why aren’t the houses made of mud?’”

Excolotis smiled, “The houses weren’t made from mud.” He said.

“So what were they made from?” asked Twilight, leaning in over the table.

“A combination of dung, straw, and clay.” Excolotis explained.

“Wait,” said Rainbow, “where did they get the dung?”

“You don’t want to know.”

Twilight though about what Excolotis had said, a hoof on her chin, before turning green and grimacing.

“So seriously,” demanded Rainbow Dash, “What was the dung from?”

“Let me put it this way,” said Excolotis, “there were no drains, pipes, or ditches. Ponies had to go somewhere. And not all of it went in a pit.”

“Wait, I don’t...” Rainbow’s eyes widened and she leaned back from the table, “Oh! That’s gross!”

“Oh, yes.” nodded Excolotis, “Though that was only for about thirty years. After a while, they switched to wood with clay on the outside to seal it. Though calling it clay was a bit generous; more like mud.” He shrugged, “Then they used proper clay about another forty years after that, and began to use bricks shortly afterwards with wood frames, though they still used lime washed clay to line the outsides. The homes got better as our infrastructure grew. The wisdom wasn’t lost, just forgotten. Thatch roofs came in ‘round about the same time as wood and clay walls, then in came tiling shortly after bricks.”

"Well, that wasn’t so bad,” said rainbow Dash, “but what happened to the old homes? Weren’t there ponies living there?”

Excolotis picked up another fruit salad bowl, and looked up, “What’s the average lifespan today?” he asked.

“About ninety to one hundred and ten years for mares,” stated Twilight, “and ninety to one hundred for stallions.”

Excolotis nodded, “Well, back then it was about twenty to thirty for mares and stallions. Does that tell you what happened to the ponies living there?”

“Yeah...” said Rainbow Dash, “But what about you? How did you do when Discord was around, he must’ve been pretty bad?”

“Well...”

“Ah, Excolotis, you shall be my most entertaining-“

“Foul beast! I shall grind you into dust!”

Whrunch.

“Hold now, warrior, I-“

“Feel my wrath!”

Thud.

“If you would-“

“Nyyyarrrgh!”

Thud! Whrunch! Crunch!

“I proved remarkably resilient to his mind games.” Excolotis smirked, tossing the fruit into his mouth. Twilight and rainbow dash looked at each other, Rainbow shrugging, and Twilight shaking her head.

Celestia walked through Ponyville, giving greetings to her subjects as she slowly walked. Some of them feared her, but that was normal, and Celestia didn’t mind. She knew that it was the fear of speaking to a superior, not the fear of talking to a monster.

If they hated her, now that was a different can of worms altogether, but the one thing that comforted her more than most things was the knowledge that most ponies thought as her as a caring, benevolent ruler. She may not always agree with their perception, but they did love her.

Celestia tightened around the eyes as her rump gave another twinge as the wind blew across it; but she hid it well, like she had done so for years now. Most were in so much awe of her, they looked without seeing. While this did mean that her subjects viewed her as a thing, a permanent feature, rather than an individual, it did make her duties easier from time to time.

As Celestia strolled over to her waiting carriage, she smiled in relief. It wouldn’t be long she was out of this town, and away from the inquisitive ponies. She prized her chariot more than anything, and made sure that the Pegasus team flying it was known for their dependability, and selective blindness.

As she stepped onto the brass plated wood, Celestia turned and faced the front, smiling as a yellow pony shifted in towards her. Thankfully, he waited for her signal.

With a grunt, the Pegasus pulled the chariot higher, and the yellow stallion leaned in expectantly.

Celestia waited before the town was out of sight, the citizens little more than specks before she discarded the tight control she had.

Celestia hissed as she hobbled onto her left fore-hoof, her right wing sticking out at an odd angle, the left sticking straight up. She cringed as her hind legs instinctively curled in to relive the pain; the doctor moving in to check on her back.

Celestia’s breathing became ragged and heavy, as the doctor moved his hooves around her wings, checking for damage and tearing. She whimpered as he checked the flight muscles around her chest with gentle prods.

The doctor looked up at Celestia, tears in his eyes; “Why do you do this to yourself?” he asked.

“Because I have to...” Celestia whispered, shuffiling onto her side, “If Excolotis went bad, we’d all be dead ponies walking.”