Chapter V (suggested background music)

Canterlot

Luna and Celestia were lying on large, square pillows in one of their private studies. Both were filling out paperwork, when the smaller alicorn sighed.

"What is troubling you, sister?" Celestia asked, looking up from a supply requisition form sent from the Stalliongrad garrison.

"Hm?" Luna hummed, "Surely, you noticed it too, Tia."

Celestia sighed, placing the stack of papers on the floor. "You're talking about Geoff, aren't you."

Luna nodded. "That weapon of his, to be more specific."

Celestia stretched out, laying her head upon her forelegs and closing her eyes. "I think I know what you mean, but I want to hear it in your words, to be sure."

"He carries it like I carried my past," Luna murmured, frowning. "Like all the bad he's had to do is embodied within that weapon."

Celestia nodded, "He did call it a scar. I'm beginning to wonder if that title is the design of the weapon, or its impact on his psyche."

Luna sighed, "I believe it is more likely to be the latter." She turned her gaze to the floor, "From what little we know about him. . . Sister, I don't like it. I need to talk to him, if he's just an immature joker or someone like-"

"You don't have to say it," Celestia cut in, raising her head sharply and staring into her little sister's eyes.

Luna returned her gaze, both with misty eyes. "-me."

I stood for a full minute.

I took a step forward.

They took a step back.

I took a step back.

They remained where they were. All their glares directed toward me, all their anger, their fear, even hate. I couldn't distinguish pony from pony, the colors blurred together as my eyes misted.

Doubt began to eat away at me, I began questioning if I had done the right thing. If I had been too threatening, or if my intervention had been needed. The memories in my head were screaming again. . . telling me to leave, disgusted with my actions.

I picked out a pair of sky blue eyes, "Fluttershy. . . I. . . ," I whispered, "I didn't-"

"Just git," came a southern sounding voice. "Don't nobody wanna hear yer excuses ya monster."

I had been called a lot of things. Weakling, meat, dead man, corpse, failure, wimp, joke. . . the list goes on. . . but never monster. I was doing the right thing, I was standing up for Rainbow. . . how did that make me a monster?

My mind went silent. The memories stopped, my thoughts stopped. My hand twitched toward my pistol, muscle memory taking over as my hand wrapped around the grip. Everything was numb, everything was loud, silent. . . deafening.

At once, the ponies seemed to snap. Whispers turned to murmurs, murmurs to words, words to shouts. A cacophony of discontent and unacceptance bombarded my ears. Some wanted me dead, more wanted me banished. They demanded that I leave and not come back. Even Rainbow, the one that had been the victim was glaring at me with ill concealed hate.

Fluttershy was crying. She tucked her wings close to her sides, shivering in fright as she found herself unable to break eye contact with me.

I could do it for her though. I sighed, turning my scarred body away from them. I clutched my SCAR to my chest, squeezing until I was sure my palms were bruised. I racked a cartridge into the chamber, for fear that one might try to attack me with my back turned. I started walking away. Toward the forest that I limped out of before.

The library was on my way out, and I turned my steps a bit to head in that direction. My boots were there, and they were a necessity. The scenery all blurred into one as I marched past, unconsciously opening the door to the tree and heading upstairs. I found my boots empty of water and dried in the washroom, most likely from Twilight.

I picked them up, heading back downstairs, where I sat down on the couch to lace them up. I was surprised that they were no longer stuffy and uncomfortable. Picking up the second one, I noticed a small note inside. I pulled it out and read its contents.

Absorption enchantment; removes sweat, bacteria, and maintains even temperature.

So Twilight had taken it upon herself to improve my boots. I would've been thankful if I had the capacity for emotion. I finished lacing up my other boot and made to leave the building, when I stopped. I may not be welcome here, but there was still nothing to stop me from doing what I believed was right.

"I can't believe him!" Rainbow exclaimed. "We totally could've handled that jerk!"

The other girls nodded their assent as the group neared the library. Twilight spoke up, "It would've been a simple knock out spell, a few words with him when he woke up, and he'd be on his way. It had no need to be escalated that far."

Applejack turned her head to Rainbow, "Ah don't know the specifics, but wasn't that guy a Wonderbolt?"

Rainbow cringed, but nodded, "We had a thing for a while. He was a nice guy, but. . . well he's got some issues if everything doesn't go exactly how he wants it."

"Care to elaborate, darling?" Asked Rarity.

"Not out here," Rainbow shook her head. "Back at the library, I guess. But not here."

The remainder of the walk was spent in silence, until Twilight finally opened the library door. The six stepped inside, before noticing something out of place. Twilight walked to the centerpiece of the room, a large, solid table. There, embedded tip first into the wood was a matte black blade. It was pierced through a single piece of paper with four words written on it in a sloppy scrawl.

Next time defend yourself.

On Fluttershy's bed laid a folded piece of paper, sitting on her pillow so she would find it when she returned. I shouldered my pack, feeling a little off without my knife at my hip. I could make due though. I'd never relied on it too heavily, mostly using it for convenience.

I ducked out of Fluttershy's cottage, after traversing half the town, avoiding as many ponies as possible. The ones I did happen to run in to would react differently, some ducking out of my way, while others spit in my path or shot their mouths off.

I had my gear now, all of it, and made my way toward the only place I knew I could disappear. The same forest that I'd crawled out of on my second day in this FUBAR excuse of a world where the punishment for helping others was exile. It had been a few hours since the altercation, and the sun was nearing the horizon. I imagined the princesses were at Twilight's by now, getting the full story about how horrible of a person I was.

I marched onward. It would be a good few hours before I entered the Everfree and disappeared for good. My canteen needed refilling, so I stopped at a small stream on the outskirts of town to drink and store some water for my trip. I didn't know where I was going, but anything was better than here.

I knelt beside the water, rinsing my hands and splashing some on my face. The biting chill of it snapped be back to reality some, though not enough to fully process my surroundings. That part would come in time though. Even if it was just a night, I knew that my survival instincts were not what they were before meeting those ponies.

I held my canteen below the surface, glaring at the bubbles that came to the surface. I half wished I could go for a swim, just relax the way I used to. My mom and dad, sitting on the bank of the creek and laughing together as I leapt from the cliffs. . . waving at people floating by in kayaks or boats, showing off with a flip or dive for the cute girls and shrugging off the icy glares from their dads who were with them.

I couldn't though. In my heart, I knew that I could never again relax with my family, never again watch my dad throw my mom into the water while she yelled at him for being immature. Never hear him laugh and cannonball into the creek right next to her to scare her. Never sneak up behind him when they got out and throw him in for my mother and I's amusement in revenge.

Go to dairy queen to cool off after a day of swimming.

Watch a movie at home and tell jokes back and forth.

New ripples disturbed the water, I barely noticed. Self pity was something I rarely indulged in, and I was knee deep by now. Waves of misery washed over me, regret, jealousy. Why did they get the easy way out and just die? Why didn't I go with them? Why, when they left, did I hate them so much. I called my own dad a coward to his face for running away instead of defending his home. Watched without shame as he punched me in the face, calling me an idiot for thinking I stood a chance.

Listened without regret as his last words to me came out of his mouth. "I have no son. My family is evacuating, good luck, kid."

In my arrogance, I laughed it off. Thinking them the weakling and the fool for abandoning all they knew because a few bombs had dropped on the coast.

My hands balled into fists, now resting on the shoreline with my canteen tucked away in my pack. The mud got in between my fingers, grass uprooted by my hands broken easier than half of the lives I'd ended since that day.

I looked at my SCAR. Twenty three lines scratched into the paint. I'd never made the mark for my own.

Maybe that's why I ended up in this world. I never accounted for that bullet.

I just sat there. The energy to continue seemingly ripped out of me. Tears hit the shore of the little creek, rippling out as the water flowed smoothly on. I heard a faint rustle behind me, though I couldn't be bothered to look at who it was. I just stayed hunched over, on my knees.

Hoof steps approached me from behind. I still didn't move.

"You know, most of us thought you'd be long gone by now."

I huffed a bit. Of course Luna would be the first to find me at night.

"I heard what you did, you know. Do you want to explain why? Threatening to remove a pegasus' wing is akin to threatening to kill him outright."

I shrugged.

". . . You know, I know what isolation is like as well."

That comment. . . "I know what it's like." . . . It hit me wrong. Got me so mad that I could feel my heart thudding in my ears. My hands tightened even further. If I had been paying attention, I would've heard the other hoof steps coming up.

"If you would just talk to us, we'd all like to get this resolved."

I began to shake. First my legs, then my hands, until if I had been standing, I'm sure it would've looked like I was having a minor seizure.

"Please, Geoff. I'm trying to help you. Just talk with us, and we can get this whole thing behind us."

"We. . ." I whispered, followed by a small huff of indignant laughter. "What do you know about isolation?" I turned my head to see Luna in the corner of my vision, not noticing any other presence as she stared back at me. "What do you know about having to fight to survive every day? About running from people that you once called friends and neighbors?"

"I was-"

I shouted, "YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST FUCKING THING ABOUT SURVIVAL. YOU DON'T KNOW A FUCKING THING ABOUT PUTTING A BULLET THROUGH A MAN'S HEAD BECAUSE IT'S EITHER YOU OR HIM!" I tossed my SCAR to the ground in front of her, making sure she had a clear view of the marks on its side, "Those are the people I've killed. Count the marks, there's twenty three. You don't know a damn thing about having to fight other members of your species just to live, just to keep from being tortured or killed over scraps of food."

I glanced at her again, noting the shocked look as she stared at my rifle. I took her silence as a sign to continue. I stood up, turning toward her, noticing that we had company. Twilight and her friends, along with Celestia stood to my left now, the river on my right. They looked horrified.

"I never asked for much from life, a place to stay, food to eat, water to drink, a decent paying job and maybe a girlfriend to keep me company. ALL of that was ripped from me. Torn from the realm of possibility because some fat ass politician decided to fire off his mouth." I raged on, practically spitting venom at the princess as she stared at my weapon. "I was tired of it all, Luna. I was sick of having to kill or be killed, scrounge the ruins of abandoned cities for scraps. Sleep on the dirt at night in a torn up old tent with a shitty ripped up sleeping bag to cover half of my body."

I glared at the ground, words that I probably shouldn't have said welling up in my mind, escaping before I could stop them. "I ended it."

Luna glanced up at me, tears in her eyes as well, "What?" Her voice came out rough, barely a whisper.

I shut my eyes, a grimace on my face as I drew my pistol. "I ended it. The only way I could figure out how." By the look on her face she wasn't following, which pissed me off even more, "I TOOK THIS FUCKING GUN, PUT IT TO MY FUCKING FOREHEAD AND-"

*CRACK*

A gout of water shot into the air where the round hit the surface, startling the princess as she saw for herself what the little chunk of metal could do. Silence reigned over the meadow as she slowly turned her tearful eyes up to mine.

"I don't know how I'm here," I growled, my anger receding, being replaced with depression, "I don't know why I'm here. All I know is that I should be dead. For all I know, I AM dead." I sighed, "I thought I could start over, make some friends, build a life maybe, who knows." I laughed once, "As luck would have it, my first day here I step in to defend someone I thought I could call a friend, and now I'm hated, feared. . ." I picked up my rifle, slinging it over my shoulder. I began to turn my steps back toward the forest when another voice made me stop cold.

"Now hang on there for just one second." A southern accent, "Who ever said we hated ya?"

I turned slowly, putting every ounce of hate into a single glare directed at that fucking cunt who had the nerve to say that. Every pony recoiled at the look, and with as much ice as I could gather, I hissed through gritted teeth at Applejack, "Don't. Fucking. Talk to me. It's as you yourself said, I am just a monster, so I'm going to live with other monsters."

With that, I turned on my heels. In a single jump I was over the small stream, and trudging forward to my new home. I could hear the sniffles behind me, some comforting words being exchanged, and it incited a twinge of sadistic glee in my mind.

Author's Note

Here it is. Don't worry about the Soarin story for now, it's coming later. Don't forget it though.