Futility

by FaelaArts

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Adventure
Length: 4833

Everyone gives into hopelessness eventually. When you're the only pony left in the world, and your name isn't actually Twilight Sparkle, what is there to hope for?

Everyone knows of Twilight Sparkle, personal student to the princess of the sun, and element of magic. She has friends, family, and above all, hope.
However, Twilight Sparkle doesn't exist. In fact, Equestria doesn't exist either. All it is and will ever be is a figment of my imagination. Simply a way to live out the rest of my days with a slight measure of happiness. I am not her, but I would give my horn to be her for but a single day. To have everything, and yet not realise how lucky you are to have such things, to live.
What I am doing right now is not living, this is waiting for death.

Traducción Española: https://www.deviantart.com/spaniard-kiwi/art/Futilidad-990270691

Published 2013-04-22 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-06-09 13:51:34 UTC

A dead pony's hope.

Twilight log 50
Day 5 since last oasis.
There was once a time I firmly believed in the future. Surely everything would be ok in the future. Surely something would come, to save me from this bleak now. But nothing ever came, and as I grew older, I came to realise that such things never existed in this world.

Sometimes I like to imagine a world quite unlike my own. A world filled with many ponies of all different sizes and colour. Not only ponies without horns on their heads, but ones with wings. In addition, sometimes there would be rare cases of ponies with both wings and a horn.

In that world, I am a master of my element, magic. I would be a little antisocial, but in reality, I was secretly lonely. It wouldn’t be until I move to the town called Ponyville that the other elements would be introduced, and my loneliness would abate. We would have fun under the guise of certain lessons, all common sense to me. It was…fun for a time.

However, after I allowed myself to ascend to princesshood, and gain a set of wings I found myself fulfilled with this part of the story. Twilight Sparkle has finished her friendship lessons, and she will live a long and happy life. All this was finished today as I walked. And now, I must find a new fantasy, lest I fall into melancholy.

I am almost out of water, if I do not find another oasis in the accursed land soon, I will likely have to resort to using that spell. I do not like using it because I always have strange dreams after, but it may be my only choice.

How I long for a companion. How I wish I had a Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, or Spike. But that’s just wishful thinking, I am forever alone.

I found a skeleton today that had been half-crushed under one of the spikes that had fallen on the promised day. It had some bags and a water bottle still in good enough condition to be of use. I also found a journal, which I plan to read. I’ve set camp beside the spike, it providing a good solid wall to construct a lean to against. I will read some of the journal, and maybe find out who this pony was. But the one thing that struck me as strange was that he didn’t have a horn, like I do. Which means my theory is correct, there are more than my type on this planet, or there had been.

I have had to create a brand new journal, my old one having been lost to the sands of time. In case I do not survive this journey, it is probably a good idea to explain my past, while I still have the chance. If you are reading this, I have probably perished; then again it is so hard to survive in this world now. Water is fading; I have one bottle left. Once that is gone I will have at best one day to reach the oasis, and that’s risking heat exhaustion.

I guess it would be best to start with how this all came to be. However I don’t know much except for what my mother told me, passed down through the generations. There is one thing I know for certain, one fact that keeps me firmly planted in reality for when the promised day happens again. And that is this; life is dying.

Once, this world was not just a death trap. It was filled with trees, animals, water. However as my race grew stronger, they began to notice a shocking revelation: the planet was dying. Apparently they set up some temples with old information, histories; time capsules basically. After that was done, they began to prepare to prevent it from continuing further, but failed.

Now every so often, we are forced to survive an event caused by their act, now called the promised day. I do not understand much apart from what my own magic has told me, but I will do my best to explain what it is. Every day, the spell they cast drains power from the very earth, accelerating the death of life. When that power reaches a certain amount, all around the world these spears begin to form wherever life still exists, and tries to eradicate it.

The last promised day took my mother.

“I must rest” she spoke to herself, closing the book she had been writing in. Gazing to the sky, she wondered what the night was. Closing her eyes and curling up, she closed her eyes and blotted out the sun. Hidden in the shadow of the spear, she was safe from its harsh rays. Beside her was a skeleton, and above her was a tattered piece of fabric.

Closing her eyes, she breathed a sigh and waited for sleep to come, where she could dream of the night, of friends, of her mother. Falling asleep, and then waking up later no time had seemed to pass if you trusted the sun to show such things. On her internal clock however, she had slept a full 12 hours.

Standing up, she shook herself and packed up her tarp. Giving one last look to the body, she bowed her head and silently gave respects before turning away. Footprints in the sand, for wind didn’t blow anymore, clearly showed the path this pony had been travelling in. Looking in the final page of his journal, it seemed he had been heading for something important. He also had a key, and she quickly searched around before finding it on the ground near his hoof. It was a small circular coin, with a faded symbol on it.

Pocketing it, she then turned and began heading in the direction he had been heading, diverging from her path to nowhere. The landscape hadn’t changed in the time she had slept. Sometimes she would cross faded prints of hooves, sometimes places where the spikes had hit very long ago. The sand was everywhere, the sun was unrelenting, there wasn’t a single cloud, not a single blade of grass.

The world was dead, she believed it to be so. The last promised day had been so long ago, so faded she barely even remembered her mother’s face. One day she wouldn’t be able to fight fate any longer, and when that day came, she would die. As far as she knew, she was the only one alive anymore. All she found were skeletons.

However, this diary spoke of a hope; she would need to read more. Lucky for her, she had a long day of walking ahead to read it, and she was well used to walking on sand by now.

Hope, she doubted it was true. But she couldn’t resist letting a flutter of emotion ignite in her heart. This book, she must read it and find out if this hope was just folly.

“Enough putting it off, just read the damn thing” she scolded herself.

Travelling

Twilight log 50
Day 6 since last oasis
I remember a time I wasn’t thirsty. I was very young, back then, my mother carried most of the items, and when she perished I could carry so little of what she could. Today I can carry more, but back then I had to leave so much behind. Even if I wanted, I couldn’t take retracing my steps back. Truthfully I could, but going back does not lead me anywhere but to desert. At the very least by going forward, I know I’m going somewhere new.

I finished my last bit of water, and I have yet to see an oasis. If I do not find one tomorrow, I will have to resort to my last tactic.

I am down to three cans of nutrients. If I do not find an oasis, I will have to cast the second spell, one I thought I’d never have to use. I wish I could explain how they work in this log, but my mother made me swear to never write them down. I do not know why, but I trust her.

I read some of the journal I found yesterday. Most of the early chapters are similar to my own, a log of what has been and what happened that day. Halfway through however, it begins to change tone. Apparently he found a journal, like I did, and inside it detailed directions to this destination.

It spoke of how this was the last hope the world had, he mocked this and I would have to agree. He mocked how it spoke how this information would eventually reach those who were pre-destined for it. He speaks of how funny this is, funny to believe in such hopes.

The book offered to prove it’s words, so he followed it, and found that medallion. He didn’t believe it was true right up until the moment he got crushed. However his last entry talks about how even if this hope is futile, it’s better to follow the hope then just give up completely.

To live how he had been, waiting for death.

I will continue following the path his journal suggests to follow. I can’t help but feel this dead pony was just like me, because all his words almost sound like their my own.

I will continue further tomorrow, for now I rest.

Twilight log 50
Day 0 since last oasis.
I found an oasis, however it is long since been drained of life. Everything is dead, but there is still a tiny bit of life around this place. I managed to drain enough life to conjure enough water for one more day.

I’m so thirsty, but I must go on. There are no spikes around here that will give me what I need to continue. I can only hope I find one tomorrow, because if I don’t then I’m better off dead.

I dreamed after the spell. I am writing this before I head out for today, to mix things up I guess. I don’t remember much of the dream, other then the feeling of time running out. It’s strange, our time is already up so why would I feel pressured like so?

It doesn’t matter in the end, but it did remind me of what I read of the journal. Apparently, he was an earth pony, which meant he didn’t have a horn like I do. He also spoke of his mother being a pegasus, that means they had wings instead of a horn. This confirms my theory, and I’m glad. It’s hard to make a dream with only half- known fact.

I just realised, I have yet to make a new fantasy as of yet, my thoughts being consumed by reading this dead pony’s diary. I guess having something tangible to hold onto is better then fantasy, it’s a pity it’s so rare.

There is something off in the far distance, too far to be seen unless using a zooming spell, or binoculars. I am not sure if a zooming spell exists, but I’m sure it does and I wish I knew it. Either way it is still a day’s march away, but I should reach it before I camp for the day.

And it has the perfect Spike right next to it for me to use.

The sun was unrelenting on the lone figure walking over the land. Her breath came out in a methodical and calm rhythm. Her feet took everything one step at a time, she didn’t even notice she had arrived until the spike blocked out the sun for a single moment. Gazing up at it, she quickly took in the amount of damage and decay, and was happy to see it in near-perfect condition, jutting out at a slight angle.

Turning to face it, her horn sparked with magic, and she closed her eyes and focused on her own magic flow. Walking towards it, her horn touched it gently, and then spread along the surface, enveloping it in her purple hue.

Pulling out her bottles with levitation, she uncapped them and held them still as the spear began to crumble, eroding before her very eyes as she opened them. Her magic compressed the spike, and then transformed it back into pure substance before turning it into a liquid. It was a large bubble of brown water, she separated out the dirt and gunk using a distilling spell, it falling onto the sand and fading. What she was left with was pure water, which she filled the bottles with.

Putting the bottles away, she carried the small bit still left in her magic over to her mouth and drunk eagerly, it soon vanishing and she let her magic fade. With thirst taken care of, she turned her attention to the object nearby.

“So this is it then, the object that pony spent half his life searching for.” Honestly she didn’t understand why he had put all his hopes in it, it wasn’t anything special.

Destination

The lone figure stared at the building before her with uninterested eyes. It was a box, made out of a material she didn’t recognise. Walking around the sides, she realised each side held a door of some description. To the side of each door was a small circular impression.

“I stand corrected, it’s not a box, but an L.” After turning a corner she head realised that the building was a big L shape and not merely a square, not that that made any difference to her. Walking to one of the door she glanced to the impressions and noticed this door was already taken, the impression filled with a badly eroded coin. Walking around the building again, she realised all the doors had one, all but one. Pulling the coin out, she glanced to it and paused.

After a moment she gave a shrug and inserted it, hearing a faint click. The door swung open, pushing the sand away from it as it swung outward. She gazed inside toward the darkness, and listened. There was no sound, it was completely silent. Glancing behind her to the landscape, she heaved a sigh and stepped inside.

There was dust everywhere, and she began taking shallow breaths so as not to disturb it. Her horn flickered to life, and a small light spell lit her area. There were a lot of books, shimmering with barely holding spells of preservation Walking down the long corridor she eventually saw the bookshelves end and instead be replace with different materials. Some seemed pointless, like fabric or some plastic apples, but at the middle section she found the jackpot.

There were crates upon crates of food, stretching a fair distance in either direction. Opening one she saw they were filled with cans, anyone inside wouldn’t starve that was for sure. Her ear twitched as a click sounded, and she turned to look toward the centre of the cramped corridor, and a chill entered her spine.

There were five dead bodies.

Click, she turned frantically in the direction of the door end began to run. The door was already halfway closed. No, she wasn’t going to make it she was going to be trapped in here and-

Slam.

Click.

Silence.

“No…Don’t leave me in here.” The lone mare fell to the floor, and felt all her strength leave her. She was trapped. No, magic might still help! She stood up and aimed a spell to disintegrate the door, like she did to the spikes. It hit the door, and dissipated, and she realised with a sinking heart what the material was.

This building was made out of a material that made this a pure magic sinkhole. Meaning magic was useless. Even now she could feel the pressure on her horn, daring her to use a spell other then a simple light spell. She was trapped.

Twilight log 50
Day 1 since last oasis.
After becoming trapped in what I assume is an archive by my own folly, I have begun going through what supplies I have inside here.

I have enough food for years, and there seems to be a natural spring in one corner, amazingly brimming with water. I have filled my bottled with it in case it dries up, but I doubt it will be for years.

The fabric was useful to make myself some clothes to keep myself warm, and it was a godsend in disguise. After being blessed with the sun for so long, I did not realise how much I needed the warmth to live.

I also found a large group of lanterns powered by both oil, which there is also crates of, and magic. I plan to use magic so as to keep the oil for emergencies.

There is also some cooking appliances, which means I will be able to cook my food much easier. They run off magic and oil too, but I wonder why they were put in an archive.

In the final corner of the room there was some exercise equipment. It is probably a good thing, it means I will not lose my fitness, if I ever happen to get out of here.

All in all it seems as if the builder wanted to make the ponies who fell for their trap as comfortable as they could be while they slowly died. I shall try to look into it.

I will end this entry off with a note about the books. There are a large range of books in here, almost filling up half a section of the L. There are books on medical, mechanical, and philosophical. I can’t help but feel a little excitement enter me as I think of what I will learn. But first I will start with the book titled ‘how to use the appliances in this building’ that was made to last even longer then the others.

I wonder who wrote these books, I wonder who made this building, I wonder why I was brought here only to die. I wish I could ask the other five ponies, but they are long dead. However it is so strange how they are so perfectly preserved. And I wonder how they got like that.

They have a similar spell cast on them to the books, which is so strange. Why would someone want to put some dead ponies in a position where their bodies would live forever? Well maybe not forever, but a very long time.

Either way, time will tell. Or not, I really do not seem to have a say in this. It looks like I will die in there, of old age or starvation I do not know yet. But maybe the answer lies in these books. I will keep this log updated as often as I can.

Time is harder to judge in here, but not much harder. I am used to not having a clock to go by. However, the small counter in the corner of the middle, near the cooking appliances and food, concerns me. It seems to be counting down to something, I hope I am not around to see what.

But I have a sneaking suspicion I will be.

End

Twilight log 50
Day 5 since last oasis.
I….
Maybe it would be best to skip the parts about eating and reading and learning how to use the cooking appliances. Instead I will talk about the vast information in these books. There were once creatures called Dragons and Manticores and Zeberas. I wonder what they are but I would have loved to see one in my lifetime. However I will get to the point.

I was searching my ‘side’ of the area, and I found a small horn lock. I opened it in curiosity and I found a rather large diary inside. I am not sure what it holds, but I will be reading it.

Just as soon as I finish this shelf.

And…The next one.

Twilight log 50
Day X since last oasis.
I lost count of the days, these books have been throwing off my sleeping schedule. It seems wasteful to sleep a full 12 hours. I…

Well the best way to put it is to say it very simply. My daydream, it seems to be based on a very old mares tale. Apparently there was once a unicorn who fitted my daydream, right up to the becoming an Alicorn.

But as all good things she eventually grew old, being a made Alicorn and not a born one like the two immortal gods.

Speaking of gods, I wonder where they are…

Back on topic. Mustn’t get distracted by theories and the like. So much knowledge, it burrows into my mind like Parasprites, another animal of the before. So anyway as the mare lied on her deathbed, her magic activate and she ‘saw the future.’

Apparently that’s how they found out about the planet slowly draining of life.

Sorry I took a break to finish the last page of the picture book. Apparently, the immortal goddesses tried to stop it, but died in the process, dooming the world to become a barren wasteland. There’s also mention of the ponies massing to create a ‘failsafe’ but that is the end of the book.

I wonder what happened to that 3rd princess. The one that lived surrounded by crystals….

Twilight log 50
Day XX since last oasis.
I…I started reading the journal.
It mentions something I can do to save the world. Something about the spikes ‘storing’ the energy of the world until it had finally stopped draining. Something about a book becoming visible when that happened. Something about…Life having a second chance.

All folly. Life is doomed, the world is too far gone. But even so, the spell is worth giving a try. However the diary asked I continued reading before attempting. I shall do so, but first I have 50 more books and then I have read every book except the diary.

This pony…Has very good writing.

Twilight log 50
Day XXX since last oasis.
I…No…
Apparently I am the only pony that will ever have the chance to use this spell, because it is too dangerous to cast twice on one world.

And apparently all the ponies knew the spikes would kill a lot of them, and agreed to it to save their world.

All the ponies gave their lives, to give me this chance.

Makes me wonder, how they could hope so easily.

The spell also mentions…

That…

The spell will kill me.

The lone mare closed her diary and placed it in the safe, and closed the door. She looked at the area that had been her home for what felt like a lifetime. All the books, all the struggle, and the hopelessness.

At least she was giving her life up for something, rather then just dying because you were unlucky. She heaved a sigh, she didn’t want to die.

“Face it, it’s not like you’ve lived a good life either. Your entire life has been hopelessness. Might as well use it for something.” She walked toward the centre podium, and glanced to the timer.

“Five minutes” she spoke, sitting down in the middle of the circle of bodies. The timer, she now knew, counted down the moment the world would finally stop draining. It wouldn't work until the spikes had de-activated apparently. It ticked away, and she glanced toward the carvings on the clock. There were two Alicorns. She smiled, and laughed at the mockery of the sun and moon being used for time.

“Three,Two,One” she muttered, closing her eyes and starting the spell exactly on the zero, she was anything if punctual. She felt it immediately jump out of her control, and the world go dark.

Five ponies groaned as they felt themselves wake up for the first time in millennia. They gave a yawn and glanced to the body in the middle, and shared a sad look. Two, one an earth pony and one a pegasus, broke out into tears. Another earth pony and pegasus turned away. Only the unicorn gazed at the body.

“Thank you, For letting us take all the hope.”

Outside the box, the world suddenly sprung to life. Sand began to form shapes, spikes began to disappear, water and grass began to form. Oceans began to appear, mountains sprung up.

And for the first time in a very long time, the sun finally set.

The After

In a small corner of the world, a weirdly shaped spike vanished, revealing three Alicorn forms. The pink one was the first to awaken, and seeing her world restored her wings spread in open love to see that it had recovered so well. The second, a mare a dark as the night merely opened one eye to the sun overhead, and her horn sparkled to life. Her sister’s horn copied the action, and the sun set willingly. Finished their routine, the three stood together and touched horns and closed their eyes, flaring their wings. They opened and their combined magical power activated a second spell, crafted by a talented mare who had cast a failsafe on her deathbed.

The spell cast, the three collapsed and fell straight back into slumber. It would be a full night before they would awaken to merely perform their duty before falling back to rest. This would occur for a full three days before a ragtag group of five ponies finally found them.

“Did the spell work? Are my little ponies revived?” They all nodded at the white Alicorn, her coat fluttering gently in the breeze.

“The spell worked, just like Twilight said it would.” They all glanced toward the hill, and the three Alicorns raised their heads to look at the lone figure on the hill, and smile warmly in relief.

“Maybe she held a little hope after all.”

Twilight log 50
Day 4 after I died
Life…Ponies seem to like to pretend they are never going to die here anymore. They seem to think if they perish the great Twilight will bring them back to life.

‘The great Twilight’ as they call her died pouring everything she had into the spell so that anypony could activate it with a small magical talent.

I…cannot explain what happened, for I cannot describe the difference since I died. I mean, of course this is heaven, so of course the world is bright and lush.

It is strange, it’s so familiar.

The archives have been unsealed, vast tomes of knowledge beckon me at every corner of my new home. I also find it strange my diary was in the nook I left it in, but it is of no importance.

After the night fell for the first day, I noticed that I could see shapes in the distance, so I packed my belongings and followed them. They found me following, and they were so happy to see me ‘alive’ for some reason.

They seemed to understand my confusion, and said it did not matter as long as I was alive.

It…

I would have to be stone cold not to feel slightly warmer at that thought. After a few days of travel, actual days, we arrived at where the three Alicorns I head read about were. When they saw me they showed the same looks at the others had.

It’s been a rollercoaster since then. So much work has to be done, I’ve even started keeping checklists so I don’t forget all my duties as ‘archive unlocker’.

I’m even allowed to take 5 books from each archive and use a spell I was taught to transport them to my ‘home’.

It is always so hard picking JUST five, but it is always better then none.

Speaking of this being heaven, there is something else that appeared when I woke up. I find it strange, but I welcome it all the same. It certainly makes traveling easier.

The ponies speaking about living forever, if this is indeed heaven there is a chance there is a forever. One can indeed hope.

Ah…
Hope…

It’s…nice…

I hope heaven lasts forever. But while my doubt tells me it won’t, I can’t help but enjoy the feeling of the world around me.

This hope, it’s…

Amazing.

Almost as good as friendship.

Almost.

Author's Note

Since this is mlp, it has to have a happy ending. It's kinda an unspoken rule. If it doesn't have a sad tag, it has to have a happy ending. Dark's the same, grimdark too. It depends on the setting. :\
And I like writing happy endings.
I hope you enjoyed it, it was nice writing a story about Twilight being all alone.(By that I mean about hopelessness)
I certainly enjoyed writing it.