Three Mares in a Boat

There were four of us: myself, Rarity, Applejack and Spike. We were sat in the library, feeling particularly down trodden with our current lives and routines. It was safe to say we were all feeling pretty concerned, and had resovled to read the libraries medical journals in case there was a medical reason for our situation. Rarity was the first to speak up.

“Oh my word, according to this book, I have the exact symptoms for mud fever! A horrible disease by name alone! Applejack, be a dear and check my hooves, do they look thinner than usual? ”

“Heck, I dunno about that, but this here book says I've got a case of the sweet itches! Spike, does my mane look balder than usual?”

Spike regarded Applejacks request with a bemusement and mild apathy. “Ehh, I don't think so, but then I'm no doctor! Hold on, I’ll get a closer look!”

Spike began to climb up to Applejacks back and onto her head, pulling her mane tightly in order to check the roots. To my eyes, his claws were balding her more than the sweet itches would have, but I left him to his examination, as I retuned to my own book.

As I flicked the page, I began to read the details regarding an over active mind, and the ailments that may come as a result. I quickly found that I had all of the symptoms, and had probably been suffering an over active mind for years now. I worried for my safety, having suffered this ailment unknowingly for possibly years, wondering how long I had until permanent damage was dealt.

I slammed the book shut, and resolved to solve this issue with a week of pure relaxation, surely the only answer to solve the problem at hand.

I stood up, regarding my guests in the library. Spike was busy atop Applejacks head, continuing to part her mane, while Rarity stood in the light of the window, tilting her hooves to and fro, trying to inspect for thinning of her coat. I cleared my throat and spoke with the presence of Celestia herself.

“My friends, what we need is a week of rest and relaxation, a week away from the troubles of modern life, away from the plight of Ponyville and possible dilemmas! A week with the absence of the necessity for thought, a week to vegetate and to let the mind rest!”

Applejack shook her head from side to side, removing Spike with clout. “Well ah reckon that's a great idea Twilight! Ah could use a rest from the apple farm, we've been working ourselves ragged the last month! What d'ya reckon Rarity, ya'll in?”

Rarity lifted her head from her hooves and looked upon us with a plain expression, as though she had only just realised we were present.

“Oh absolutely, a week away from dress making, away from the demand of my clients, oh it would be positively divine! Where do you propose we go, Twilight? Ohhh! A week in the spa!?” Rarity squealed and closed her eyes in anticipation of the week ahead. “Oh, I can just imagine it, hoof manicures, full body scrubs, oh my, what a week we will have!”

I regarded Applejack, only to find her cringing at the prospect.

“Rarity, ah spend all day caked in mud! Ah don't fancy it as a week off, nah, I reckon we can find a much more pleasant answer to our problems!”

“Well, it's hardly my fault if you chose such a boorish career! Besides, this mud is divine, the finest mud in all of Equestria! Not the filthy mud you wallow in on your farm! Why, it's just divine!” Rarity said, her eyes fluttering in blissful imagination of the mud.

Applejack chuckled. “Rarity, where do y'all think that mud comes from? Apples are a seasonal fruit, how else d'ya think the apple farm makes our money? We sell the mud to the spa!”

Rarity opened her eyes wide, and stared ahead, unblinking. I couldn't help but laugh, as I recalled my time at the spa.

I had been dragged along by Rarity herself, under her insistence that it was the best relaxation treatment on offer for a busy pony such as myself. Before I could object, I was whisked off to a large vat of warm bubbling mud and wrapped in seaweed, then dunked in, like a chocolate coated apple.

It was pleasant enough for the first few moments, until the mud began to cake my mane and coat. It felt wholly pointless, resting in a vat of mud, time wasting only to become filthy. I was soon hoisted out an hour later and hosed down with luke warm water, just to feel the same as I had been when I got in, only significantly wetter than before. Rarity had smiled the entire time, citing how fresh and rejuvenated she felt afterwards, when all I felt was mud trapped under my hooves.

We left shortly after we had gotten a manicure, which I must admit was enjoyable, although the cost was not. I could have purchased a whole weeks worth of books for the treatment! The idea of having the same, but for a week quickly threw me, so I hastened to suggest an alternative.

“How about we take a boating trip? A week travelling along the rivers of Equestria, just the three of us and a boat, the open waters, clear skies at night. A constant change of scene would keep us entertained and stave off boredom. A pleasant enough trip to be had, by all accounts!”

Applejack seemed taken almost instantly. “Well alright twilight, Ah reckon this to be a great idea! Ah always wanted to travel by boat, and this oughta be a real hoot! I just wonder if old Rarity will want ta come?”

Rarity seemed conflicted at first glance, but soon a smile spread across her face.

“Hmm, why yes, A trip by boat should be pleasant enough! It will give me time to ponder my new dress designs, and to gain inspiration from the scenery! I'm on board, if you'll pardon the pun!”

“Excellent! Oh we'll have such a fun time! Spike, how about -” I looked to Spike, wondering if he would come, only to see his lust filled eyes gazing at Rarity. I decided it was a given. “Oh, right. Well then, we best prepare for our trip! I'll sort out the boat and begin packing. Lets meet back here tomorrow morning at the crack of dawn. Oh, this is going to be so much fun, a chance to study the flora and fauna of the water ways; why I've always wanted to do so in detail! Oh I can document it all, and study the species, and  gather specimens for further study when we return, and -”

I had already begun to levitate my jars and nets, when Rarity grabbed them from me. I looked at her, and quickly remembered.

“Oh, right. Heh. A week without work or intensive thinking. Well, I guess I can just look, and collect specimens another time, huh? I'll err, just pack my non work related things...”

“Right. Well, we'll see ya'll tomorrow then Twilight! Come on Rarity, we best get packing and preparing our supplies!”

I began to put my jars and nets back as Rarity and Applejack left, levitating out my largest suitcase instead.

“Spike, fetch me my encyclopaedias! They're bound to come in handy!”