My Little Pony: Friendship is a Miracle

Graham and Twilight ran towards the throne room, the chanting Celestia made to open the same portal was about to end. By the time they opened the door, it was too late to stop her.

Graham and Twilight shielded their eyes as rays of white light shot out from the growing portal, which emitted a steadily growing whining sound as it became a multi-colored swirl of red, green, and black, before exploding in a small mushroom cloud, the whining sound becoming a screech that quickly wound down to nothing.

Graham uncovered his eyes in time to see another human fly out of the explosion back-first and into the door next to him before falling on its face to the floor, letting out a groan as it did so. He and Twilight looked at its limp form for a second, waiting for it to make some move against them like Bromley had. By now Celestia, Luna, and Discord had recovered from the magical eruption and were doing the same, nobody moving a muscle.

“Jeez, my eyes... “ Graham groaned as he rubbed his eyes after experiencing that white blast again; the same one that he remembered seeing back on earth.

“Princess, what did...you...” Twilight stopped her sentence short to notice the human sprawled on the floor.

“Hold on a sec...that can’t be...Is that Jack? My main man!” Graham laughed as he pointed at the body on the floor. After a quick chuckle more, he helped the poor teen up.

The human was about as tall a Aramis, maybe slightly taller. His red shirt faded to black as it neared his waist, and had a double dragon design on the upper left chest. It was largely hidden, however, by a thin navy blue zip-up North Face. He also wore light blue jeans, and grey-and-neon-green sneakers. On his face were a pair of rectangular blue glasses, behind which were a pair of blue-grey eyes. As he stood up, he ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair, groaning in discomfort.

“Okay, no more ice cream before bed,” he groaned. “I thought once would be fine, but obviously not.” He blinked and looked around. “Or, somebody spiked it with LSD. Wonderful. There goes that self-promise...”

“If it ain’t Jack Ol’ boy...” Graham chuckled. “How ya been? Feelin’ alright? You look like you got run over, buddy.”

The teen looked at Graham for a moment. “...Holy shit, I must be high as a kite.” He then poked the taller human in the face a few times, he expression changing to one of disbelief. “G...Graham? That really you?”

“No, I’m George Lucas.” Graham said sarcastically. “Of course it’s me.”

Jack took a step back and looked around him once more. Now noticing the royalty, he gave a slow, hesitant wave, which all three returned with varying degrees of energy. He turned back to Graham. “Am I in virtual reality or something? If so, can we change this so we’re in...I don’t know, Armored Core or something?”

Graham laughed and clapped his friend on the shoulder. “Nope! You’re stuck in the real, bona fide Equestria, buddy!” Jack only looked at him in shock.

“S-stuck? In Equestria? Never going back to Earth?” He asked. Graham shook his head, a smile on his face.

“Yep! All of your materialized possessions, your cherished families, and all of your friends are gone forever! In fact, you might as well kiss sweet mother earth good-bye, and welcome to your new home, in which you are completely new to, and have no chance to fit in with equine society, like mwah.” He chuckled and gave a grin.

Jack stood gaping at him for a moment before taking a step back. Then another. And another. He looked around himself one more time before looking a Graham with a serious expression.

“Fuck this shit,” He said, before bolting out of the throne room.

"I'm such an asshole." Graham chuckled before he looked at Celestia, and vice versa. Celestia didn’t need to say anything to tell him to move.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m goin’...” He muttered as he ran off to catch the new human.

***

Jack ran through the halls of Canterlot Castle, fully aware he had no idea where he was going. He briefly cursed Hasbro for not releasing a full schematic of the castle before refocusing on his run, looking for anything that looked like it could make a portal back home.

Eventually, the teen took a turn and found himself in the Canterlot gardens. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath before setting off again, this time at more of a jog than a run.

He spared glances at the numerous statues around him, appreciating their crafts-pony-ship briefly before continuing on. “Too bad there’s not a statue to get me home...” he muttered to himself, right before tripping and falling on his face for the second time that day.

Letting out an aggravated groan to himself, Jack got up and checked behind him, facepalming when he realized he had tripped on nothing. He turned...

...and found himself looking directly into two yellow eyes with mismatched red pupils.

Jack jumped back and froze for a moment in shock before shaking his head and settling into a fighting stance, glaring at Discord. The chaos god laughed and bounced a rock in his hand.

“Have a nice trip?” he asked, cackling as he did so. Jack rolled his eyes and scowled.

“Oh, yeah, real nice. Saw some dirt, humiliated myself, you know how it goes.” He said sarcastically. “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to get back home.”

Discord chuckled and gestured all around them. “You heard your friend, this IS your home!”

Jack relaxed and stood up from his pose, crossing his arms. “No offence, Discord, but as much as I’d like to be in Equestria, I think I’ll take my Xbox over feeling like I’m in one of those overused ‘Discord brings human to Equestria for fun times’ fanfictions.” He looked down at himself before sighing. “Well, at least I’m not a pony, that would be beyond cliched...”

Discord hovered next to the human and wrapped an arm around him. “Are you sure you’d rather go back home?”

The teen nodded. “I’m sure you can appreciate this, but I’d be terribly bored here.”

Discord patted the human on his shoulder. “Well, if you really think you’d be so bored...” The god snapped his fingers, a green light covering the human next to him.

The light changed from the form of a human into that of a ball, hovering for a few moments before taking on a pony-like shape. It touched back down onto the ground before fading away, revealing...

***

“Jack! Where are you, you freakin’...You know what I’m not even gonna finish that sentence.” Graham muttered as he fell to the ground in a sweat.

“Jeez...how do people run so fucking fast!?” He yelled out to nobody in particular as he sat up, regaining a bit of his energy.

He would have sat down for longer, but a noise was heard in the distance. He could also see a green light on the other side of the Canterlot Gardens. If it was any more obvious, there would’ve been a sign saying “Look here, you stupid cunt”.

“Must be him.” He muttered as he slowly got back on his feet. He was still tired, sure, but getting Jack before he did something stupid was more important than the nap he could use.

It took about five minutes to reach where the glow was coming from. The noise stopped as well, which made Graham sigh.

“God da--wait...” He interrupted himself as he saw something ahead. A small buzzing noise was heard as he ventured onwards...

“What....the....CHANGELING!” Graham cried out as he ran at it, Discord floating and chuckling nearby.

“Careful, Graham!” He called. “You know how dangerous those changelings are!”

“Fuck you Discord! They’re as dangerous as a dead ant!” He retorted as he pounced at the mentioned creature and held it in a choke hold.

“What does Chrysalis want now?! Another beating? She’ll have to go through me first!” He growled as the changeling caught under his frightening grip choked out the words...

“G-Graham! Wh-at the f...fu...” It gasped, struggling a moment before going limp...

...right before it sank its fangs into Graham’s arm.

“Ahh! Mein arm!” Graham screeched as he punched the changeling in the nose, hoping to knock it off of his now bleeding arm. He punched it over four times until it let go out of oxygen deprivation, but it didn’t stop him from grabbing it a second time.

He raised it up towards his face, meeting it at the same level, before saying the words “Tell your queen...Ich komme nach ihr weiter”.

“Wha--” was all the creature said as it was thrown to the ground. It groaned and twitched for a moment before laying still.

Graham took a moment to look it over. It seemed to be fairly well beaten, even its red eyes completely motionless. The man gave the changeling one last kick to the ribs before walking away.

“These things are so weak! Now to find Jack...” Graham chortled as he started to leave. He paused when he heard a coughing sound from behind him, turning to see the beaten changeling slowly climbing to its hooves.

“You...” It wheezed, blinking a few times until it focused on the man. “You...MOTHER FUCKER!”

The changeling’s wings buzzed into action, sending it careening into Graham’s gut, returning the favor it had received.

With an “Oof!” Graham was sent to the ground onto his back. He slowly got up and brushed off again.

“Come. We fight like men. Er, stallions.” Graham corrected himself as he ran towards the changeling with his fists in the air.

The changeling stood its ground, legs spread wide. It spat out a small drop of blood before hissing, clear anger on its features. Its wings began buzzing as it sent itself flying towards Graham, letting out what could only be a changeling war cry.

Graham let out his own battle cry as he charged. The two of them collided, but both fell over on the ground in a heap, struggling and fighting for dominance.

“A-After I’m done with you, you’re gonna be mounted on Twilight’s wall!” Graham shouted as he pushed harder, making the changeling struggle under the heavy man’s weight.

“I’m going to redefine the name ‘Grahamburger’, you overfed lump of meat!” The creature hissed, jabbing its horn into Graham’s side to dissuade him from crushing it.

“O-ow! W-Wait a minute! STOP!” Graham screamed as he pushed the creature away, panting after all that fighting. He fell to the floor, wiping off a immense amount of sweat from his brow.

“Only one person calls me that...” Graham wheezed as he looked towards the changeling’s direction. “You’re not...”

“How the fuck did you not recognize me!?” the changeling screamed.

The giant man growled as he stood up, and walked over to the now-recognized Jack. Grabbing him by a horn, he dragged him right towards a small pond.

“LOOK AT IT!” He shouted as he forced him to peer into the reflection...

“OW! What the fuck is on my head that you’re...you’re...” Jack trailed off as he looked into the pond, gaping at his new form. “This is new.”

A loud popping noise and confetti shower erupted behind the two, and they turned to see Discord laughing and pointing at them.

“Still bored, Jacky boy?” He laughed as the changeling gave him a flat look.

“You’ve definitely sweetened the deal,” Jack said. “But I wonder whether letting me and Graham beat the crap out of each other was necessary.”

Discord waved his paw dismissively. “Oh don’t be like that. It’s not every day you get to troll yourself.”

Jack and Graham looked at each other, shrugging.

“Whatever. Fun’s over. You can change him back now.” Graham demanded as he lifted Jack into the air. Discord floated there for a second, but then started to laugh again.

“Sorry, one-way only!” He said, patting the changeling on the head, laughing even harder when it made a quite adorable puppy-face. “Nope! Not working!”

After a quick, but strangely creepy chuckle, Graham lifted him up again. “I think you meant to say ‘Of course I can change him back! Here, let me do that!’, now be a good god and fix him up, will you?”

Discord’s chuckling stopped and his expression became serious, which was slightly off-putting to Graham and Jack. “I meant what I said. It’s one-way.”

Jack’s mouth dropped open, his mind blank of any thought. Graham’s hands suddenly stopped working, sending his friend to the ground, where he collapsed unceremoniously.

“You....PIECE OF SHIT!” Graham screamed out loud as he jumped over his friend, and grabbed Discord by the neck, pulling him towards his face.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONE-WAY! I’M GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE, YOU WORM!” He kept screaming as he shook the god of chaos this way and that.

He expected cries of pain and calls for mercy, but had none of it. Instead, he looked at the thing he was holding to realize it was a doll of him.

Up above them, Discord was rolling around a cloud, laughing like a hyena. "By the way, fat man, you might want to get that bite checked out."

Graham was seething with rage and was about to try and jump up to Discord’s cloud when he felt a tapping on the back of his leg. He turned and saw Jack looking up at him, eyes narrowed.

“Graham, chill the fuck out,” he said. “I got this.”

Jack flew up towards Discord, stopping and hovering right in front of the god.

“Discord,” he started. “I appreciate a good trolling, and I can understand you don’t want some...ling...else to be bored like you were. So, with that in mind...” Jack’s frown switched to a smile. “Just warn me next time, m’kay?”

Discord chuckled and held out a fist, which Jack promptly bro-hoofed.

“Jack, what the hell are you doing? You’re completely fine with turning into a changeling? I beat you up out of confusion, and you’re saying it’s FINE?!” Graham’s left eye twitched at the sight of Discord and Jack bro-hoofing each other.

Jack chuckled and flew back to Graham, placing a hoof on his friend’s shoulder. “Graham, I can take way more shit than you can, you should know that by now. And as for me turning into changeling?” Jack’s expression became giddy. “I’m effectively a tiny alicorn. How could I NOT love it?”

“In that case, he might as well turn me into a ferocious, terrifying, blood thirsty dragon!” He silently challenged. He looked up, expecting Discord to reply, but nothing happened. He was gone without a trace.

“....Mother of fuck.” He muttered as he grabbed Jack and hoisted him onto his shoulder. He calmly walked back into the castle, taking his time through the halls until he got to the throne room, in which Celestia alone occupied.

“Graham, you are--What in the almighty’s name are you doing with that!” She spread her wings, flying up high, and readied a spell from her horn. Graham grabbed his friend, ready to take a shot.

“My princess...meet my friend Jack.”

Jack smiled and waved.