Elvis Goes to Ponyville

by JK Yearling

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Applejack
Length: 1261

A follow up to Honesty in the White House about what happens when a rather eccentric American visits the land of talking multicolored ponies.

A follow up to Honesty in the White House about what happens when a rather eccentric American visits the land of talking multicolored ponies.You dont have to have read it to get this one, but it'll make more sense if you do read the first one.
"But what fun is there in making sense?"
"Go away, Discord, I'm busy."
"But... okay."

Published 2013-04-24 21:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-24 21:00:02 UTC

Chapter 1

  "You know, I think I'll just haul those apples from now on."

  Twilight laughed. "Yeah, it's better to just have to do a little extra work than run the risk of meeting another human weirdo."

  "Did somebody say 'human'?"

  A dark haired human clad in a ridiculous costume strolled over the hill with Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie at his side.  "Pinkie!" Twilight yelled, "What the hay is going on?"

  "Okay," she said, "So there was this flash of light in Sugarcube Corner and this human appeared and he said his name was Elvis something-or-other and he actually turned out to be pretty cool and then there was Rarity and a fashion show and controlling clouds with his mind and-"

  "Pinkie!" Twilight said. "I can't understand a thing you're saying!"

  Rarity trotted forward. "Allow me to explain. As she just said, there was a flash of light at Sugarcube Corner..."

  Pinkie Pie crawled out from under the table she was using to shield herself from the flash of light. She smiled one of her famous Pinkie smiles, for there was a human standing where the flash was. "OHMYGOSH! A HUMAN! Hi I'm Pinkie Pie and you're in Ponyville I'd assume you'd know where you are if you were a pony but you're not a pony so I'm gonna assume you're from some other world because you're a HUMAN and OHMYGOSHWESHOULDHAVEAWELCOMEPARTY!!! WELCOME!!!"

  The stranger blinked, and before he knew it there were streamers, balloons, cupcakes,  and confused-looking party guests. Pinkie beamed. "Welcome to Ponyville, uh... I never got your name."

  "E-Elvis Presley. Will someone please tell me what's going on?"

  "I don't know what's going on myself!"

  Elvis awkwardly stared at Pinkie. Pinkie awkwardly stared at Elvis. Elvis stared at the multicolored ponies in the room. The ponies stared at the mythical creature before them. Elvis ran from the building in a panic because he was sure he had finally gone insane.

  There were even more ponies outside. There were ponies with wings, ponies with horns, ponies who were sure they were insane because they were seeing a human running down the main thoroughfare. There was one pony, though, who had never been so happy as she was now. "A human!" Lyra thought, "Yes! At long last! Now they can't tell me I'm a crazy-aah!" Elvis had bowled over the poor unicorn and didn't even realize it.

  He ran and ran some more until he ran into another pony and regained his senses (somewhat.) It was another unicorn, with impossible purple curls in her mane and a look of joy in her eyes. "How do you do, sir? Are you lost?"

  "I-"

  "Don't answer, you're obviously not from here. I bet you're pretty confused, aren't you?"

  "Well-"

  "Don't answer! Of course you're confused! It's alright; how about we go back to the boutique for a spot of tea and some proper introductions?"

  "Sure..."

  The unicorn skipped ahead, joyful at the prospect of meeting a REAL human, while Elvis, whose bewilderment was now more of a constant state, followed, having no other options.

  "Hey, Rarity, are you ready for my flight suit fitting? Wait, what in the world?!"

  Rarity was tacking a plethora of gemstones onto a leather suit being worn by none other than the human she kept hearing about. "I'm so sorry, dear, I won't have any leather left after this."

  "And who they hay is that?"

  "This is Elvis. He's a performer in his world."

  "A performer, eh? Can YOU clear the skies in ten seconds flat?"

  "Yeah, 'cause I can move clouds with my mind," Elvis said, Rainbow Dash not picking up on the sarcasm.

  "Oh, really? I'd like to see you try!"

  He strutted out of the boutique, not seeing the crushed look on Rarity's face.

  With Rainbow Dash looking cockily at him, he pretended to summon his "powers" and stared at the sky. Just when Rainbow was going to call out his bluff, the clouds strangely began to move. "That's weird," Elvis thought, "Maybe just being in this world gives you special powers."

  "Hey," Rainbow said, "You're pretty cool. If only you could fly-"

  "NOPONY DITCHES A PINKIE PARTY!"

  Over the hill came Pinkie running, her hair and eyes flaming as most do when a pony gets angry. "You ditched a Pinkie Party? Bad idea, dude."

  "Oh, now the ponies talk like surfers! This is just fabu-"

  "Rainbow Dash! I'd like to have a word with you! I'm getting sick of you interrupting my work!"

  "At least I don't use all my materials on some stranger!"

  "PINKIE PARTY!"

  "Making an ensemble for a human is every designer's dream!"

  "DITCHER!"

  As the two ponies' argument got uglier and the crazy pink one sped closer, Elvis decided that he had only one option. He really didn't know where the sudden penchant for running away came from, but it was this or... well, he really didn't want to know what the pink one was going to do to him.

  He ran until he came upon a high precipice. "Of course there's a precipice," he thought, "That crazy pony's probably going to murder me."

  He turned to face his pursuer... only to see her flanked by the two others. "Hey," Pinkie said, "I'm sorry we scared you."

  "Yeah," said Rainbow, "We got a little excited, I guess."

  "But we were just so excited that we got to meet a real human," said Rarity.

  "That's alright," Elvis said, "I think it's pretty extraordinary to meet real ponies."

  Rarity gained a look on her face that said, "Ideeeeeeea!"

  "Ideeeeeeea!" Rarity said. "Why don't we introduce you to our friend Applejack! She'd love to meet a real human!"

  "I'd like that very much," said Elvis.

  "Yeah" said Rainbow, "And you can tell us how you can control clouds without a unicorn horn!"

  "Um, maybe not."

  "You know, if we hadn't just gone through what we just went through, we'd think you're..."

  "Crazy?"

  "Yeah..."

  "What exactly did you just go through?"

  "Oh dear..."

  The four listened to Applejack and Twilight tell their story and laughed. "I never trusted that guy anyway," Elvis said.

  Twilight looked at him. "You know him?"

  "Of course, everybody in America knows who Nixon is-"

  "Oh my gosh! I'm such an idiot!"

  "Ummm..."

  "The Law of Matter Displacement! Of course! As everypony knows, matter cannot be created or destroyed. That means that every universe can only hold a certain amount of matter, so if an object- or pony- crosses into another universe, something with the same amount of mass has to cross over into their universe. So that means that when we went to Americaland, someone from Americaland had to come to our universe. That also means that Elvis here has as much mass as two ponies. That ALSO means that if we don't send him back to his world in the next thirty seconds, our universe will explode. So that means... Toodles!"

  "Hey! What's-" Before he could even blink, Twilight opened a portal as fast as she possibly could and chucked Elvis through the rift. "Well that was a little harsh," Pinkie said.

  Elvis opened his eyes and saw that he was in a bathroom back at Graceland. He saw a bottle of pills lying on the counter and threw them away. "I'm too old for this," he thought.

  He walked around a little to get his senses back and came upon a window. It was a gray, cloudy day. "I wonder..."

  He focused on the clouds like he did back Ponyville, and to his amazement... nothing happened.