Racing to Harvest

“Are you sure she can’t get up here?” D asked nervously.

“For the last time, yes. You’re in a cloud house floating, like, fifty feet in the air. There’s no way Pinkie Pie can get you,” Rainbow Dash said exhaustedly from her kitchen. “What even happened between you two?”

“Apparently, breaking a Pinkie Promise is grounds for....” he shuddered. “Actually, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Consider yourself lucky. Last guy that broke a Pinkie Promise was never seen or heard from again,” Dash said ominously.

“Do you think she’s still mad at me?” D asked cautiously.

“D, it’s been three days. I wouldn’t worry about it,” she said with a smile as she walked into her large living room carrying two bottles of soda. “Here,” she handed him a bottle.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“It’s soda. Ever had it before?”

“Never,” he said and took the bottle. “Do I just pull this thingy off here?” he asked pointing to the cap.

“You twist it off actually. Like this,” she gripped her cap and gave it a firm twist making the soda give off a loud hiss. “Now you try,” Little D grabbed the cap and twisted it off with a smile.

“That sounds so cool,” he said with a giddy laugh.

“Yeah, it’s kinda fun I guess,” Rainbow said casually and chugged her soda. She set her bottle on a side table and belched loudly. “Beat that.”

“Uh, gimmie a sec.” D put the bottle to his lips and tilted his head back. He could only manage a few sips before gagging and coughing up most of the soda. “That burns!” he rasped. “What the hell is in--,” he froze mid sentence and stared off into space.

“Uh, Little D? Are you ok?” D continued to stare at nothing. His pulse quickened, his eyes dilated, he could hear the blades of grass rustling far below. “Little D? Can ya’ hear me?” He could hear everything. He heard Rainbow’s heart beating in her chest, he heard Tank snoring upstairs, and he could swear that he heard the neurons firing off in his brain. Suddenly, he grabbed his bottle and downed the rest of the soda in one go. “Woah dude you drink faster than me!” Dash said with a wry smile.

“I have to run!” D shouted as he leapt straight up off of the couch, crashed through Rainbow’s cloudy ceiling and opened his mighty wings so he could angle his fall away from Rainbow’s house. He hurtled through the air like a rock and struck the ground with enough force to leave a deep crater beneath him. “Running!” he shouted excitedly and sprinted off towards Ponyville.

“Woah!” Rainbow shouted as she ran through her front door. “That dude’s goin’ a mile a minute!” She smiled to herself as she jumped off of her cloud patio and spread her cyan wings. “But that’s still not faster than me.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Little D had never felt so energized at such a high suppression level before. He hollered out in joy as he tore down the dirt road to Ponyville. “THIS IS THE BEST!” he whooped happily.

“Hiya Dee Dee? Watcha’ doin’?” asked a bubbly voice behind him. D looked over his shoulder and saw that Pinkie Pie had somehow gotten herself onto his back for an uninvited piggy-back ride.

“I’m runnin’!” he cried happily. “IhadmyfirstsodaevertodayandnowI’mgoinsuperfastand
nowI’mafraidthatifIstopmovingI’lldie!”

“Oh the same thing happens to me sometimes,” Pinkie laughed. “I’ll let you get back to it then.” She looped a rope around D’s waist. She pulled a cord on the pink and blue backpack she was wearing and out shot a parachute. She cried out happily as the wind flew up into the chute and lifted her up off the ground.

“Wanna go higher?” he shouted up to her as she rose to about ten feet off the ground.

“You betcha!” she yelled back. She squealed in delight as Little D sped up, making her go up to twenty-five feet above the ground. “Dashie look how high I am!” she yelled when she noticed the rainbow haired jock coming up on her right.

“Yeah I see ya Pinks,” Rainbow said casually. “D must be goin’ pretty fast then, huh?” She looked down and grinned excitedly at the dust storm that D was kicking up.

“I’ll say. This is the fastest I’ve ever seen anyone go!” Pinkie Pie giggled as she adjusted her grip on the parachute’s handles.

“Fastest you’ve ever seen huh?” Rainbow asked hotly. “We’ll see about that. Hey D!” she shouted down the the white bullet. “How about we race to Sweet Apple Acres?”

“Okay!” he shouted back and quickly veered off the dirt path to the left and tore across grassy hills with Pinkie Pie cheering loudly behind him.

“Woah.” Rainbow stared as D got further and further away. “That dude’s fast.” She shook her head and grinned determinedly. “But he’s still not faster than me.” She sped off after him, sure that she’ll overtake D in no time.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“HE DID IT AGAIN!” Rainbow shouted despairingly. Little D was sitting in a rocking chair, drinking greedily from an oaken mug. “I can’t believe he beat me again!”

“It’s not my fault,” D insisted between gulps. “I was just crafted to be...superior to mortals.” He set his mug atop pyramid of other empty mugs. “Hey A.B., would you kindly grab me another applejuice?”

“But Ah just bought ya fahve an ya’ already had tein,” Applebloom said incredulously from the doorway.

“And I just dead sprinted-five miles,” D said.

“It’s true. I was there,” Pinkie added happily as she folded up her parachute and stuffed it back into her bag.

“So the least you can do is fetch a near-immortal a drink before he dies of thirst.”

“Yer not gonna die of thirst yet,” Apple Bloom said with a laugh.

“Yeah? Well....being thirsty is really uncomfortable,” D argued childishly. “Are you really going to let your new friend get really uncomfortable?”

“Ah guess not,” Apple Bloom said, defeated.

“Hey how about this. I’ll give you two bits for every mug you bring me and one bit for every mug you’ve already brought. Sound good?”

“Ohkay!” she brightened back up and ran inside to the kitchen.

“How did you beat me again?!” Rainbow shouted furiously.

“Like I said. I was just built to be harder, better, faster, and stronger.”

“Our work is never over,” Pinkie Pie giggled and skipped off towards Ponyville.

“Yeah,” D shook his head at the pink menace. “Anyways, don’t take it personally. You’re still the most athletic mortal I ever met in this century.”

“What do you mean ‘the most athletic you’ve met in this century’?” Dash asked crossly.

“I mean exactly what I said. I’ve had the privilege of meeting many people who were capable of extraordinary feats.”

“But have any of them been able to fly faster than me?” she asked proudly.

“I never noticed. I was too busy beating them all in races,” D said with a wry smile.

“Oh so you think you’re fast, huh?”

“I beat you twice already.”

“Those weren’t even real races,” she argued. “I was just goin’ easy on ya’. Yeah that’s it. I wanted to see how fast you are and I gotta say that I’m not impressed.” She crossed her arms and turned her nose to the air.

"Oh yeah? Then how about you and I have a real race then? You pick the time and the location."

"Okay. How about from here toooo...." she thought for a minute and looked around. Her gaze settled on Celestia’s castle high up in the mountains. "From here to Canterlot."

"You're on," D grinned and got up from his chair and walked over to her. He willed his great white wings visible, making Dash gulp nervously. His wings were huge compared to her own, at least twice her six foot wingspan. “What’s with the pale face huh? You’re not getting nervous are you?”

“What? Me nervous? Not a chance.”

“Good,” D said with a confident smile. “Cuz you’ll need every ounce of speed you can muster to beat me.”

“Right back atcha’,” Rainbow said and crouched down into a sprinter’s starting position and D did the same. “Ok, on three. One. Two--”

“Oh Rainbow Dash! There ya’ are. Glad ta’ see that ya’ finally made it,” Applejack said from front door. “Head on over ta th’ barn n’ we can get started.”

“Huh?” Rainbow stood up from her position. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh, mah mistake. Ah just thought you were here to help me out with some chores. Ya know, like ya promised ya would a week ago,” the farmer deadpanned as she walked out to meet them.

“Yeah, yeah Aj. I’ll get right on it. Just as soon Little D and I figure out who's the fastest.”

“It’s me,” D remarked as he peered around Applejack back at the door. “Where’s Applebloom?”

“Ah’ma commin’!” Applebloom replied as if on cue. She struggled out of the front door, carrying a tray piled high with mugs of fresh apple juice.

“Smart kid,” D said with a grimace as he pulled his bit pouch from behind his back. He counted up his empty mugs and the fresh batch Applebloom was carrying to the table. He dug out thirty five bits and set them in Applebloom’s open hands. “Don’t spend them all in one place.”

“Thanks Lil’ D!” Applebloom beamed and ran back inside.

“Now what’s this about chores?” D asked turning back to Rainbow Dash and Applejack

“Rainbow promised me a week ago that she’d help me out with some work ‘round here today an’ here she is, three hours late an’ ‘bout ta run off again.”

“I’ll be right back Applejack. I just gotta race Little D real quick.”

“Whatcha gotta do is show up when ya’ say ya’ will and help when ya said ya’ will.”

“I’m gonna help Aj I just gotta race Little D real quick and then I’ll be right back.”

“By the time you finish yer little race you’ll be too doggone tired to so much as lift a finger ta’ help.”

“Applejack, unlike you, I have amazing stamina. I could race D to Canterlot ten times in a row, and win, and net even break a sweat.”

“You are so fulla’ yerself ya’ know that Rainbow Dash?”

“No. I’m full of awesome and I could totally fly to Canterlot and back ten times no problem.”

“You could not!”

“Could to!”

“Could not!”

“Could-”

“Hey Applejack? What were these chores that needed to get done?” D interrupted.

“Oh? Uh let’s see now. We gotta get the West field plowed fer corn, make sure the apple squeezer is still workin’ right, tidy up the barn, an we gotta clear out some dead trees in the South Plot.”

“Thank you. Proceed.” He downed two mugs of apple juice and walked off towards the west.

“That was weird, now where were we?” Rainbow asked herself. “Oh right! Could so!”

“Could not!”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“You’re Big Macintosh right?” D asked the shirtless orange-haired man as he struggled with his plow.

“Eeyup,” he said simply.

“Thought so. You’re grandmother told me you weren’t much of a talker.”

“Nnope.”

“Cool. Just thought I’d drop by and see if you needed any help with the plowing.”

“Nnope.”

“You sure? That’s a lot of field for one guy to plow. No matter how experienced they are. How about you take a water break and I’ll take care of this field for you.”

“Hmm?” Big Mac stopped his work to look at the stranger.

“You’ve already plowed half the field. I’ll get this done for you in no time at all. I might just plant the corn also.”

“Nnope,” the farmer said and turned to resume his work but he widened his eyes in surprise to see that the entire field had already plowed and planted.

“Yeah, well, I kinda already took care of it,” D said as he leaned against a large farming sickle. “Don’t worry, I might not be a farmer but I’ve been walking these fields since before you were even born.” He snapped his fingers and his tool disappeared.

“Whut?” Big Mac looked around in disbelief. “How-”

“Cuz’ I’m magic and, contrary to popular belief, I like helping people.” D walked over to Big Mac’s plow and effortlessly slung it over his shoulders. “Now let’s get you back to the house. It’s lunchtime.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Could not!” Applejack hollered.

“Could too times infinity!” Rainbow Dash shouted back.

“Don’t you bring yer fancy math-a-matics inta’ this!” Applejack growled.

“Lunch time!” Applebloom called from the porch.

“Sweet!” Rainbow Dash said with a grin. “I’m starved.”

“How could ya’ be? Ya’ just got here!”

“Yeah but I didn’t have any breakfast.”

“Fine. You can have some lunch here but after that yer gettin’ right ta’ work.”

“Sounds fine to me. Just you watch Applejack, I’ll get your chores done in no time at all,” Rainbow Dash said smugly as she walked to the farm house.

“We’ll just see about that,” Applejack retorted and followed after Rainbow Dash.

“Yeah. We will.” Rainbow walked into the kitchen with a grin. “”Woah man! Granny Smith! Did you make your famous vegetable soup for lunch?”

“You betcha’!” the old farmer said with a grin. “But didja’ earn yer meal Rainbow?”

“Well, not exactly. But I definitely will after lunch. I’m here to help Applejack out with some chores.”

“Oh are ya’ now? Well ya’ better eat up then. Ya got a lot of work ahead of you.”

“Yeah I know.” Rainbow shrugged. “But no biggie. I’ll get those chores done no problem.”

“So ya’ keep sayin’,” Applejack said as she grabbed a bowl of soup from the counter and sat next to her little sister at the table. “How d’ya plan on doin’ a whole day’s wortha’ chores in half a day?”

“With my trademark speed and strength of course.” Rainbow smiled smugly as she walked over to the table with her own bowl of soup. Just then, Big Macintosh stumbled into the kitchen. “‘Sup Mac. How ya’ doin’?” Rainbow asked

“Uhhh.” He glanced nervously out the door.

“Somethin’ botherin’ ya’ big brother?” Applejack asked concernedly.

“Enope,” he replied uneasily and walked over to Granny Smith. He cupped his hands over her ear and whispered to her. When he was done whispering his message the old farmer broke out into a loud laugh.

“Oh that’s just Lil’ D Big Mac. No need ta’ worry ‘bout ‘im. Though Ah would say that with ‘im helpin’ us out we can call it a day earlier that usual.”

“Is he gunna eat with us?” Applebloom asked happily.

“Ah don’t think so deary. That boy don’t eat , well, anythin’ really,” Granny Smith said with a smile as she ladled up a bowl of soup for herself.

“Whut’dy mean he don’t eat, Granny Smith? Everybody eats,” Applebloom asked innocently.

“Well Little D ain’t exactly like everybody, Applebloom. Fer one, he’s probably the strongest man Ah know.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Little D let out a roar as he tore yet another dead apple tree out of the ground and tossed it into a large pile of uprooted dead trees. He rolled his shoulders with a sigh. “I’m really gettin’ tired of yankin’ trees out of the ground.” He thought for a minute and went through his mental checklist. “I still gotta tidy up the apple squeezer and make sure the barn still works.” He cocked his head and looked at the cloudless sky. “No, wait. That can’t be right.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Now Big Macintosh don’t gimmie that look. Ah know yer plenty strong but you’ve never seen D work,” Smith said with a wry smile. “He’s got this way with machines an an eye fer detail that Ah ain’t seen on nobody else.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“That should do it,” D said as he tightened the last bolt on the apple squeezer. He stretched his arms above his head with a groan. “Man, I forgot how tedious farm work is.” He looked around the spotless barn with a grin. “And that should be the last of my chores.” He slowly walked through the barn again, making sure that every nook and cranny was spotless. He examined the old hooks on the walls that held farm equipment of various sizes. Satisfied that everything was clean, he left the barn and headed for the farm house.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“And not to mention how sweet he is, how caring he is, how passionate he is,” Granny Smith sighed blissfully and gazed out the kitchen window. “And don’t get me started on how big his, er, heart is.”

“What the hay are you talking about?” Rainbow Dash practically yelled.

“Well yung’un. Ya’ see, Little D an’ Ah-”

“Did someone say my name?” D asked from the doorway.

“Where were you?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Around. I took care of those chores for you guys though,” D said as he walked into the kitchen.

“Wait! Ya’ did what?” Applejack stared in disbelief.

“I took care of those chores you and Rainbow Dash were going to do,” he said simply. “Now what were you guys talking about?”

“Us,” Granny Smith said.

“Oh okay,” D smiled and headed back for the door.

“Lil’ D you come back here. They might as well know.”

“Know whut?” Applejack asked curiously.

“That I used to date your grandmother,” D said quietly. Four jaws dropped and four pairs of eyes darted between Little D and Granny Smith. “Kay’ kiddies! Story time!” D shouted happily. He snapped his fingers and everything went black.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Meanwhile in the Appleloosa Apple Orchard

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Please! Somebody! Help!” cried out a damsel in distress.

“Quit yer yappin’!” a masked bandit demanded. “Gimmie all yer bits pronto!”

“A-ah don’t got no bits on me mister. P-please j-just let me go,” she whimpered pitifully as the knife wielding thief pushed his arm into her throat.

“Then I’ll just take somethin’ else then!” the thief brought back his knife and prepared to strike.

“Hey assbut!” called a voice from behind the thief. He turned to face the stranger but was greeted by a bronze chain to his face. “Oh sorry ‘bout that man!” the stranger cried out apologetically. “I was aiming for your nuts.” He lashed out with another chain and hit his original mark with a painful thwack, making the thug fall to the ground. “Aaaaand there they are. Sorry about the miss earlier. I’m not used to aiming for such small targets.”

“What the hell?” the thief cried out in agony. “Don’t you know who I am?”

“Yeah. You’re Swift Hand the Master Thief, introduced in chapter 7, recurring character and sub-plot advancement mechanism. You act like I haven’t read this fic dude,” the stranger replied casually.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Swift grunted as he struggled to his feet.

“Oh the little bugger wants uppie, is that it?” the stranger asked cruelly. “Well let’s send him uppie.” The stranger lashed out with two bronze chains and wrapped them around Swift’s ankles. He pulled hard and began swinging him around and around, faster and faster.

“Hey! Let me go you bastard!” Swift shouted.

“Kay,” the stranger responded simply and released his chain, sending Swift flying. “Oh yeah, I can tell we’ll be doin’ this a lot.”

“T-thank you mister,” the woman stammered out. “You saved me. Is there anythin’ Ah kin do ta’ repay ya’?”

“Aw shucks miss. I didn’t do this for a reward,” the stranger said bashfully. “I did it for the good ol’ fashioned sake of violence.” He grinned manically. “Well anyway Ah better mosey on outta’ here.” the stranger said, adopting a rich southern accent.

“Wait mister. Kin Ah at least ask ya’ yer name?”

“Ah ain’t stoppin’ ya miss.”

“Well?” she started, “Whut is it?”

“Mah name lady?” the stranger repeated. He didn’t even glance over his shoulder, his brown duster flowing in the slight breeze. “Mah name’s Johnny. Johnny B. Goode.”

“Dun dun DUUUUUN! Big reveal!” a voice inside Johnny’s head shouted jovially.

“I’m almost positive that the readers already knew who he was.” replied without a hint of enthusiasm.

“Yeah, but I bet they didn’t know Johnny’s middle or last name though.”

“I suppose you’re right. Speaking of which, how did we ever end up with this name? It totally doesn’t match with the name scheme everyone has going on.”

“Simple Voice of Reason. Seth, and subsequently Famine, has a healthy appreciation of music from the fifties.

“Ooooh okay.” Numb Nuts said. “So wanna do a musical number?”

“Hell yeah I do.” Johnny grinned. He walked off into the sunset singing about why fools fall in love.

Author's Note

Don't forget to study for finals or whatever!