Heat Wave

“Every mare in Equestria literally loses their mind, and they hunt down any potential mate,” elaborated Snails to the confused human.  “And I mean any potential mate.  It it's male, they will hump it!”

Keyshawn nearly chuckled, “Well, that doesn't sound too bad; it's kind of humorous, if you ask me.”

“Nonononono, you don't understand!” Snips shouted at him, giving him a stern glare.  “You don't want to become a mate.  Once a mare grabs a hold of you, you become a prisoner of passion and shame!”

This was too much for Keyshawn, and he burst out laughing, tears threatening to pierce his eyes.  His laughter died down a little when Big Mac tapped him on the shoulder.  “Ah'd like ta show ya somethin',” he said seriously.  “Hold yer hand out.”

Keyshawn complied, and, still chuckling, held out his hand.  Big Mac put something in his hand, and the human examined it.  It was a pen.  Keyshawn looked up to Big Mac confusedly.

“Imagine, fer a second, what this pen could be related with, and what a sick mare might do with that there pen.”

For several seconds, Keyshawn just stood there examining the pen until realization hit him.  He reverted his gaze to Big Mac, his face contorted in disgust.  “That's revolting.”

“Now imagine a stallion bein' caught an' used like that...with several mares...nonstop.”

“You can't be serious,” denied Keyshawn in disbelief.

“Ah'm as serious as Ah kin' get,” the stallion answered simply.  “Once a mare in heat grabs a stallion, he becomes the mares' plaything 'til th' heating season's over.”

“...and, how long is that?”

“Five days to a week.”

A week!  Keyshawn dropped the pen as he tried to comprehend what a week of nonstop..activity...must be feel like.  Or, more accurately, how painful it would be.  He became quiet as the thoughts overwhelmed him; even his breathing couldn't be heard.

“Luckily fer all of us,” Big Mac said, breaking the awkward silence, something atypical for him, “Ah've made maself a bunker for this kind of occasion, with enough resources to last us months.”  He cast his gaze to the two foals.  “How much time ya figure we got?”

“I- I don't know,”answered Snails, suddenly very tense.  “It's the middle of June; I don't think we have any time at all!”

“Alright, let's not panic,” Big Mac said, taking calming deep breaths.  “You boys bring as many stallions as ya can back here.  While ya'll do that, Ah'll-”

“Wait a minute!” interrupted Keyshawn.  “Why would the mayor or the princesses not make an announcement of some kind about this?” he asked.

“They're mares!” Snips responded.  “Of course they'd say nothing!”

Just like in the old times back home, Sam and Tim were enjoying a peaceful stroll through the park, chatting and enjoying each others company as the sun set around them, casting a soft orange glow over landscape.  The scene was simply too marvelous, and they felt compelled to stop and take everything in.

“Sam!  Tim!”

And there went the serenity.  The two humans turned to see Keyshawn running towards them, his expression terrified.

“Way to kill the mood,” scorned Sam as Keyshawn caught up to them, panting slightly and body trembling.

“Listen, we need to talk.  We seriously need to talk.  I don't know how much time we have or if we're already too late, but we-”

“Whoa whoa whoa, there...slow down,” Sam said, not understanding the rush words of his friend.  “Now, uh...what exactly has you worked up?”

“Heating season, stupid!” yelled Keyshawn, and Sam was taken aback by the sudden outburst.  “It's here!”

Sam's composure came back quickly, and he immediately tried to calm down his irritable friend.  Tim, meanwhile, appeared concerned.

“We need to gather as many ponies as possible, and you care about your safety, you need to-”

“Chill out, 'Shawn,” he said in response to the still incomprehensibly fast speech his friend was giving.  “You're expecting us to be panicked about this 'heating season', but you haven't even told us what that is.”

“A heating season is a period of time in which the hormones in a species females become abnormally acute, making them, um...hyper affectionate,” elaborated Tim.

Sam looked to Tim, having not expected his friend to speak, but one Tim had concluded, he reverted his gave to Keyshawn.  And then...he laughed.

“This is serious, Sam!” argued Keyshawn.  “It's only a matter of time before-”

But Sam's laughter grew as Keyshawn attempted to defend himself, and he eventually needed to lean on Tim for support.  Tim, for his part, seemed to take to Keyshawn's warning seriously.  “The two of you are really something, you know that?” asked Sam rhetorically as his laughter died down.

As soon as Sam was steady, Keyshawn slapped a pen into his hand.  Sam looked down at it for several seconds as his chuckles died down.  Tim looked at it too, and, understanding the implications, a look or terror spread across his features.

Which only made Sam laugh again.

“What's wrong with your brain!” Keyshawn said viciously.  “You know that that's what's going to happen to you is a mare gets hold of you!”

Taking a couple of seconds to subdue his laughter, Sam casually walked over to his panicked friend.  Patting him on the back, he said, “Keyshawn Keyshawn, Keyshawn...have you forgotten what we are?”  To this, Keyshawn gave a blank stare.  “Aside from the Princesses, we're this world's three most capable beings.  We can easily protect ourselves from any sex crazed mare."

“I...I guess that's a good point,” conceded Tim.  He chuckled out of embarrassment.  “I suppose I didn't take that into consideration.”

“How would you reckon we'd outrun Rainbow Dash?  Or Pinkie Pie...especially Pinkie Pie?” and a slightly calmer Keyshawn.

“We could be long gone before any of them know where we've been,” assured Sam.  “We'll run miles away from Ponyville and hunker down until the heat passes.  After all, how do think I managed to get away from Ashley when she's like that?”

That was a good point...

“Now, c'mon,” continued Sam as he walked away from them, motioning for them to follow.  “Let's escape from here.”  As he walked away, his shoes began to glow light blue as its speed boosting enchantment prepared to help him zip out of the town.

“I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not,” panned Keyshawn, “but the two of us aren't exactly capable of keeping up with you.”

“Well, sucks for you.  Perhaps-”

“Maybe we can go see Twilight and see if she has any speed boosting spells she could cast on us?” offered Tim.

Sam sighed.  “Yeah fine, let's go.”

“You two are forgetting the heat!” chastised Keyshawn, who scowled at the ridiculous plan.

“You said yourself you don't know how much time we have,” countered Sam.  “If we hurry, we might be able to beat her to it.”

Reluctantly, Keyshawn agreed, and the three of them hurried towards the library.