You're chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like tumblr.
You: 'sup?
Stranger: Story time.
You: Ok, once upon a time, in the land of yolo...
Stranger: Swag swag obey swag supreme swag?
You: The tyrant Lord Swag was enslaving the anarchists of Yolo.
You: Meanwhile his militia was killing off conduits.
You: But that's not important to the story.
You: Your turn, make up something.
Stranger: Tyrant lord swag was actually a hipster.
You: The worst kind of tyrant.
Stranger: Indeed.
You: Each and every action he made had to be ironic, which made ruling his empire very tricky.
You: And everyone had to wear fedoras, scarves, and hipster shades, while drinking Starbucks.
Stranger: Their tablets would keep them updated on all the ironic laws he passed.
You: But deep underground there was a single man, plotting the end of his reign.
You: In their tongue he is dovahkiin, dragon born.
Stranger: /stops contributing to this story because i'm into it now/
You: k
You: So, what, are you writing the rest now?
Stranger: No I meant like-
Stranger: you finish-
Stranger: because I am sh*t-
Stranger: and I wanna hear your story.
You: ok
You: So, he climbed the mountain of Mt. Oxyclean, on his quest to find the sacred shout that could destroy hipsters.
You: On his way he had to face many memes, ponies, and marry sue oc's that were far too op.
You: but at the end of his quest he found the three words to the shout
You: NO
You: FUK
You: U
You: With these sacred words...
You: He could put an end to the madness of hipsters, and put the internet in better hands, the hands of anarchy.
You: He was ready.
You: He mounted his stead of death, which he bought from Billy Mays on his way out...
You: and charged towards The Forbidden Fortress of Redundant Forbidden-ness.
You: -where he would find an ally among his enemies.
You: Yes, James Bond was pretending to be a hipster.
You: I'm starting to run out of ideas.
You: How good am i doing?
Stranger: I'm completely invested in this now you can't stop here I must know what happens pls.
You: ok
You: Down the silver streets they rode "because the hipsters said gold was too mainstream."
You: The dragon born used his sword to gut off the heads of hipsters on his way, with James Bond and his solid gold gun close behind.
You: Soon they made their way to the steps that lead to the castle, but found the gate closed.
You: One moment.
Stranger: THE SUSPENSE
You: Ok I'm back.
You: The gates had shut because before they could face their deadliest foe, they had to fight a boss battle that was at least half as strong as the main villain.
You: This guy was big, ugly, and had a drill for an arm for no good reason.
You: He was garbed in rusted armor, stained with the blood of his enemies.
You: With all the copper gears, chains, and steam powered devices on him, you'd think he were the very definition of steampunk.
You: This wasn't a hipster, the dragon born could not use his shout. He needed help.
You: He and James Bond held the beast off as long as they could while they waited for a new ally to emerge.
You: Using his bottomless pockets, James pulled out a huge amount of guns, using countless bullets in an attempt to kill this beast.
You: Meanwhile the dragon born summoned as many creatures as he could think of. Sharks, ghost sharks, cyborg sharks, cyborg-ghost-sharks-with-freeking-lasers-on-their-heads.
You: One moment.
Stranger: HURRY!
You: Patients, I need to help my sister for a moment.
Stranger: laksdjlks
You: I'm back.
Stranger: Finally.
You: Now, after what seemed like over 9000 minutes, a cutscene began. Something had sliced the monster's drill arm off. Looking at it, James Bond and the dragon born realized that is was a Oxy Clean brand sword.
You: Looking to the horizon, they saw Billy Mays, with his god like black beard. He had blood on his blue shirt. The combination of his pale skin, blue shirt, and red blood on said shirt, made him look very patriotic.
You: He looked the monsters way and said in his thundering voice, "HI BILLY MAYS HERE! ARE YOU ON THE BALL? GET
ON THE F*CKING BALL!" He jumped downward, hitting the beast in the head with an Oxy Clean Detergent Ball.
You: He looked towards the dragon born, and James Bond. "GO KILL THE KING WHILE YOU CAN! I'LL GET THIS GUY
SENT SIX FEET UNDER FOR ONLY $19.95"
You: The dragon born and James nodded, and climbed over the gate, which in retrospect, they could have done the whole
time.
You: Going up the silver steps to the white castle "because nightmarish black was too mainstream" they saw no further
enemies to stop them from killing the king.
You: They busted down the doors, knowing that walking in casually was exactly what the king wanted.
You: They saw his face...
You: It was George Bush.
Stranger: GOD DAMMIT I KNEW IT!
You: "Well hello." He said, his fake patriotic smile plastered on his old wrinkled face. "Care to vote me into office a third time?"
You: And for the first time in this entire adventure, the dragon born spoke...
You: "You've enslaved thousands, put together the event called 911, and ensured Barak Obama made a law that you could
not be punished. But I am beyond the law."
You: "I only have three words to say, in response to you're foolish request."
You: He breathed in deeply, filling his lungs to the peak, making them burn with pain as he filled them with as much air as he
could.
You: NO FUK U!!!
You: The shout could be heard from all across the kingdom, as the thundering clouds cleared from the sheer power of the
dragon borns voice, and withered the king to nothing.
You: The deed was done, the kingdom was saved, but now the castle was collapsing, and the dragon born was too weak to
move.
You: "Move it!" james bond said, as he grabbed the dragon born after ripping off his shirt to reveal his powerful muscles.
You: Warrior in his arms, James leaped out of the first window he saw, breaking the glass. "Because bad asses need to
break something whenever they enter or leave anywhere"
You: They landed...
You: Everyone in the kingdom of Yolo took off their stupid clothes, and looked to the dragon born.
You: He wasn't breathing...
You: All the people of Yolo put their stupid fedoras to their chest, shedding tears as they saw him lying there dead.
You: "He sacrificed himself to save us all." James Bond said, too bad ass to cry.
You: Billy Mays popped up "BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! CALL NOW, AND I'LL GET A COFFIN WITH HIS NAME
ENGRAVED IN IT, AND BURRY IT DEEP BENETH THESE STREETS!"
You: "You moron." James Bond said. "He never told us his name."
You: "OH!" he said, clearly not sure how to add a sales pitch to that.
You: "It doesn't matter."
You: They looked to see that a girl had said that.
You: She was Miku Hatsune, a Vocaloid character that was unimportant to the story.
You: "His name may never be engraved, but his efforts will always be remembered."
You: One moment.
Stranger: I am cries.
You: I'm back.
You: 8 years later...
You: "Because 8 is the best number."
You: The town was now a beautiful gold, and three grave stones in it's center. Only one didn't have a name.
You: On this grave lied the dragon born's helmet, and a carving of his handsom face.
You: Below it were the sacred words that had killed the tirent king to begin with.
You: To this day, all hipsters are responded to by non-hipsters with NO FUK U.
You: The End~
Stranger: Thank you so much, your story has touched my very soul.
You: Thank you, writing fan fiction is a hobby of mine. And i think I will add this to my list of stories.
Stranger: Well you're very good at writing.
Stranger: And thinking on the spot.
You: Thanks. Be sure to look this up sometime if you wanna read it again. I'm gonna call it "In the Land of Yolo"
Stranger: What site do you publish on?xD
You: fimfiction
You: I'm a brony.
Stranger: Yolo, y'know?
You: True. I'ma end this now, and copy it to a word document to post it later. See ya!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
