Twelfth chapter: part one - Oh! I-I put the twelfth chapter first? Sorry!
Oh, my, I can’t believe I put the number twelve instead of number one. Sorry! Um, how should I start this now?
Ah! I know!
Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Aragón, Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Pinkamena, Spike and Peewee were standing on the same place they had been when Louis had gone away. And they suddenly noticed they didn’t know where they were. A couple minutes ago, they had been talking in Rarity’s bedroom. But now? Everything was unclear. Maybe they were in Ponyville. Maybe they were in the Everfree Forest for some reason. Maybe they were in a white void without any kind of environment around them.
It didn’t really matter, though. The important thing was not around their bodies, but inside a certain character’s mind. This certain character had just experienced something that cannot be described without using words as ‘future’, ‘precognition’ and, let’s be honest, ‘somebody took a weird mushroom here’.
And then, the guy who had all those visions talked.
“Girls…” Aragón said. And then paused, not knowing what to say. “Girls,” he tried again, “this is not over.”
There’s this unspoken law in media –either books or cinema or theater– about how living beings react to fear, surprise or astonishment. Characters can do two things: they can start screaming like a bunch of crazy monkeys, which is more or less realistic and difficult to portray in a written script (although you can use the metaphor ‘crazy monkeys’ and it kinda works) or they can stand still without saying anything. Like statues, just breathing a little more and trembling like a flan in winter. And then they sloooooowly turn around (to see the monster that’s behind them) or look up (to see the monster that’s above them) or start dancing and singing (if you’re watching a musical. In which case I may add that you’re the monster).
Last time I checked this was not a musical though, so the ponies (and Spike and Peewee, although I’m going to say just ‘the ponies’ or ‘the girls’ from now on and you can guess I’m talking about them too) tried to locate the voice that was talking, but they couldn’t. It was neither up nor down, and definitely not by their sides. They seemed to be a little scared when they found out the voice was not only talking about clichés in literature or theater, but describing what they were doing. That was the moment when one of them, a pink mare with straight hair, broke the silence.
“Cut out the bullshit,” she said. The mare’s name was Pinkamena. “We know my name! Louis, I thought this was the ending! What the hell are you doing?!”
“Continuing with the story,” said Applejack. The narration is not going to describe her as it has done with Pinkamena. The reason is simple: Pinkamena has a point; we already know who they are. Just picture Applejack talking. “And I don’t like it at all. This is bad news.”
“Girls, I don’t think the narration is Louis.” Aragón, still in alicorn form, gulped. “It doesn’t sound like him, and… well, I just know it isn’t him. He and me are something like clones, so we can feel each other and that kind of shit.”
Silence. The narration said a couple more things. Like this one. Or this one. Or even this one. And suddenly it stopped.
And then the narration returned and they all started talking at the same time. Well, maybe ‘talking’ is not a good description of what happened. You see, each one was doing something completely different. Fluttershy was screaming, Pinkie Pie was bouncing and laughing with a big smile on her face. Aragón, Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity were yelling, but their voices mixed up and nobody could understand what they were talking about. Spike was just staring at the sky, looking scared. Peewee did nothing. He surely was thinking about life and death or some similar weird phoenix thing. And Twilight was casting a spell with both eyes closed, who knows why. It’s not like she could just make a ‘zing’ noise and then locate the narrator.
*Zang!*
“I’ve found it! I know where the voice is coming from!” she suddenly said, smiling and turning to the others, who stopped being loud and listened to her. Well. Really, I have no one to blame for this but me. Saying that kind of things out loud, what was I thinking? Although she didn’t make a ‘zing’ noise after all.
Oh-kay, so this wasn’t entirely supposed to happen. The cue here is that the narration has to be like, mysterious and unnerving and fascinating. Or just mysterious, if you’re not feeling generous today (which is a very bad thing, I may add).
But it’s not like I can just rewind this and write everything again. Oh no, that would be just tiring. Anyway, I guess I’ll come up with something eventually. And –wait. Wait, wait, wait. I’m here right now, right? Like, I’m actually here, I’m not just the narrator. Or so I think, after all twelve is a… Hum. Yes, that should work. Let me check.
“The narrator,” said Twilight, “it’s” and then she said something else but you won’t be hearing it. Okay, this is good news, I was right all along!
Oh, this can be a little confuse I guess. Sorry. You see, they can’t talk if I’m not narrating them, because, well, I’m the narrator. Without a narrator a story just doesn’t work, right? So if I refuse to tell what’s happening it’s not happening. Simple!
So, Twilight said something that you aren’t going to hear, dear reader. And, what a surprise, the girls didn’t hear it either (again: if I don’t tell you what’s happening, it’s not happening. Isn’t storytelling marvelous?). Not even Twilight did, and she was the one talking, so this was pretty strange for everybody.
Then all started yelling and screaming and talking and being loud in general once again, but soon they realized that it was useless. Mostly because I’m not narrating anything, so they couldn’t hear themselves. Yes, you’ve heard well, if I don’t say what you’re saying then nobody can hear you, not even yourselves. So, you should stop talking. Rainbow Dash, I’m also talking to you. Yes, you. Stop talking. No, I’m not narrating you even if you keep –okay, thank you, Applejack. Even though a hoof to her mouth is not the most polite way to shut her up I have to admit it works perfectly.
So, are you all quiet now? Yes? Good. Ahem. Let me narrate this the correct way.
They were all quiet now, because the narrator simply refused to narrate their words. It was such a shame, they thought. Also, Rainbow Dash was thinking some very hurtful things about the narrator, which is certainly something that’s annoying me right now.
“…Asshole.”
See? Now everybody can read that word and knows you’re impolite. Shame on you, Rainbow Dash.
The girls didn’t seem to be angry at Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash herself didn’t seem shamed at all, so maybe my strategy didn’t work. Well, at least I’ve tried. Forgive me for trying to put some sense into this story! Certainly, if there’s something that’s lacking here is education. Don’t you think, Fluttershy?
“Eeeeeeep!”
Uh. Well, that was surely useful.
Anyway, now everybody was just looking at the sky –because when a strange voice is narrating you your first reaction is always to look at the sky– with an angry face, trying to understand what exactly was going on. Then, something weird happened.
Well, more than just one thing, really. You could say that two weird things happened at the same time. Pinkamena exploded, for example. Just like that. One moment she’s there, looking angrily at the sky, and then poof! A lot of white smoke and she was nowhere to be seen. Anyway, she showed up on the same place with another poof! like if nothing had happened, so it wasn’t so bad after all. It was just, well, weird.
What about the other strange thing? Al the ponies but Aragón suddenly zoned out and saw something in their minds. What did they see?
It was a human. Not too tall, not too short, brown hair and glasses. A male, definitely. They didn’t know for sure if he was handsome or ugly because, well, ponies know nothing about humans. Although Rainbow Dash thought his clothes weren’t exactly awesome, and Rarity muttered something about ‘fashionably obsolete’. The human was in something that resembled a table in a kitchen, typing on a computer very similar to the one that Pinkie Pie had owned for a little time.
The human was frowning while typing. His writing was cut by sudden pauses that, at first, weren’t too usual, but by the time he had written more than one page or so, he was spending three minutes doing nothing per every minute typing.
And then, after a particularly long pause, he stood up, raised his arms to the ceiling, yelled something among the lines of “FUCK IT, I’M NOT DOING THIS RIGHT NOW, YOU’RE ON YOUR FUCKING OWN RIGHT NOW, HAVE YOU HEARD ME?!” and turned off the computer.
He then turned around and looked directly at one of the walls from the kitchen. He was surprisingly angry. “YOU WANT TO GO AND FUCK AROUND?! OKAY THEN! I’ve spent like, three hours planning this, and it just doesn’t make sense!”
He kicked the wall. It didn’t seem to be useful at all. Grabbing his foot, the man continued with his diatribe.
“So, you’re on your own! I’ll toss that shit on the stupid fic and you can do whatever you want. I don’t care. You want me to write? I’ll write!” He snorted. “But if it doesn’t make sense, it’s YOUR FAULT!
“Stupid ponies… you know what? Fuck it, I’m going for a beer.”
And then the vision banished.
Now, I don’t want to be a party pooper, but this didn’t make a lot of sense, right? Yes, I thought so. In fact, this has been entirely confusing. Luckily for us, there’s only a human character in this story, and it’s not precisely the protagonist. In fact, he’s not a ‘character’ at all, if we want to be as specific as possible. So, well, no wonders, we all know who that man was.
No? Oh. Well, he was Louis, my dear. Yes. Yes, he actually gave up before starting. I don’t exactly know what does that mean, if you want me to tell the truth.
Anyway, it’s not like the girls are going to remember this. You see, remember the rules? Levels, narration, censorship, etcetera? And the fourth wall? It doesn’t work here. This is a, let’s call it ‘special’ chapter. Because, well, this is a special chapter. There’s no other reason.
Yes, I’m afraid you aren’t going to understand anything right now. Luckily for you, it won’t last long. I’m sure the girls are going to find out what’s happening soon. And then everything will be as smooth and understandable as before.
But anyway, although the chapter is not ending, I think I should go. This is only the first half of this chapter, you see. But it will be a long time until you see part two! Don’t worry though, the next chapter is going to follow up the story from the exact point we left it.
Not like the characters are going to remember anything, of course. Why? Well, I already said this was a special chapter!
Also, of course, there’s this question everybody’s asking right now. Who am I? Who’s the narrator? Is this story using the same mystery as the first one, really?
No! The author is Louis Aragón, that can’t be changed. He’s the one writing (although we just saw he gave up. Uh) but he’s not the one talking. I am the one talking.
But, who am I? Well, I’m certainly a girl, that’s for sure. I’m not an original character either. I’m an actual part of this story.
Why am I here, why am I the narrator? Questions, questions. We need to find the answers. The girls also need to find the answers. Will they get them? Only time will tell, I think.
Will I be the narrator in the next chapter? I… don’t really know. Hmm. I’m new at this, you see.
Anyway, this special chapter is ending. Oh! Prologue!. I should have named it Prologue, not ‘special chapter’. Hm. Well, you can’t change what’s already done after all.
Third chapter: Oh, for Celestia's sake, now I messed up the title too...
“Girls… girls, this is not over.”
“What do you mean, it’s not over?!”
“Can’t you feel it? We’re characters again!”
“Oh no. Don’t you tell me that…”
“THE STORY WAS OVER! HOW CAN WE BE STILL HERE?!”
“Oh come on, this can’t be happening.”
“Eeeeeeeeeep!”
“No! Nononononono! No this is stupid!”
“Uh-oh.”
“AAAAAARGH!”
“Calm down everypony! Just calm…!”
“HOW CAN YOU BE ASKING US TO CALM DOWN?! I’M SURE THIS IS YOUR FAULT!”
“WHAT?!”
“Sugarcube, that was unfair…”
“Unfair my ass! He’s an OC, so if we’re in a story it’s mostly his fault, AND YOU KNOW IT!”
“SPIKE, I’M AFRAID I’M PANICKING A LITTLE OVER HERE.”
“Girls, stop screaming! Come on, it’s not so bad!”
“Uh…. Uh-huh… *sniff*”
“Oh no! Don’t you cry! C’mere, sweetie…”
“This is bad, this is so bad…”
“NO SHIT, THIS IS BAD?! WOAH, I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED THAT!”
“Am I the only one who noticed we’re not talking in colors? Because we are not talking in colors and that makes me worry.”
“STOP SCREAMING CELESTIA DAMNIT WE’RE ALL PANICKING OVER HERE!”
“He wasn’t even screaming!”
“AAAAAARGH!”
“WELL NOW HE IS!”
“What?”
“AND AT LEAST TWO OF US ARE CRYING RIGHT NOW!”
“Okay, please girls, tell me I’m not the only know that can’t understand anything here. Who’s saying what?”
“I DON’T FUCKING KNOW, AND THAT’S EVEN BETTER!”
“Wait, who said that?”
“I SAID I DON’T FUCKING KNOW!”
“Thisisstupidthisisstupidthisisstupid…”
“Wait, so you don’t know who said that even when it’s clear you are the one who talked? Like, you don’t know who you are?”
“WELL NOW I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! THAT LEVEL OF STUPIDITY CAN ONLY BELONG TO ARAGÓN!”
“I’m Twilight.”
“No way! I am Twilight!”
“What?”
“Oh my god this is so confusing.”
“Puhu….”
“Oh no, stop crying! Oh poor thing…”
“Wait, that was somepony crying? She said ‘puhu’. Is ‘puhu’ a crying sound now?”
“You can’t be Twilight! I am Twilight!”
“But then who am I?!”
“I don’t know. Pinkie?”
“Yes?”
“Okay, so you’re not Pinkie.”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP! ALL OF YOU!”
“What?”
“WELL AT LEAST IT SEEMS LIKE THE PANIC LEVELS ARE SOMEWHAT LOWER.”
“This started as scary, now it’s just confusing.”
“I SAID SHUT UP!”
“Now don’t use that voice in me, young lady! Where are your manners?!”
“Uh… Sorry?”
“I’M NOT THE ONE WHO SAID THAT, AND I’M NOT FUCKING SORRY AND YOU ALL SHUT UP!”
“WHAT SHE SAID! Wait.
WAIT. YOU FUCKTARD, I’M THE ONE WHO SAID SHUT UP!”
“NO SHIT?!”
“YEAH SHIT SO NOW SHUT UP!”
“But…!”
SHUT UP!
“Okay, that’s better.”
“Good. So, now…”
“Hey, the way the silence is written has been changed. Last time we stood in silence, there we said ‘…’, but now it’s just a blank space.”
“IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY I SAID YOU SHOULD SHUT UP.”
“Good. So…”
“I’m just saying that between the blank spaces and the ‘this fic doesn’t seem a rainbow made of letters’ stuff everything is diff…!”
“I SAID SHUT UP YOU SHUT UP OR I’LL START DOING SOMETHING UGLY.”
“Are we even sure the one who’s screaming is always the same one or…?”
“I think they’re two ponies.”
“What?”
“SHUT. UP. NOW.”
“Well, no, that’s Peewee, because the voice is not screaming, it’s only talking in all-caps. You know. Telepathy and stuff.”
“But he’s not underlined!”
“And we’re not talking in colors. I think everything’s changed now.”
“WOULD YOU KINDLY STOP, PLEASE?!”
“See? That’s definitely not Peewee.”
“SHUT…!”
“But why do we need to shut up? I mean, it’s not like we can do anything else!”
“I JUST…! Ugh. Just trust me on this, okay? When we shut up everything is suddenly blank, and that’s a good thing.”
“Why?”
“Because it means we have no narrator and the rules had changed, and we can easily end this fanfic now if we just do nothing.”
“Because…?”
“Because if there’s no narrator and we do nothing, the story is just a huge wall of no-text and it will end soon! Nothing can happen if nothing happens!”
“That makes sense.”
“You can’t have a story without plot, that’s for sure.”
“SO WE SHUT UP NOW.”
“Yeah!”
“Uhu…”
“Aw, Shy, calm down…”
“How do you know Fluttershy is the one crying?”
“Oh, right. Dumb question. Anyway, I’m stopping talking right now.”
****
Author’s notes:
Oh, they want to play hard, hmm? Well, we both can do this!
Ah! I’m talking in author’s notes now? Well that’s certainly something! I guess it makes sense, though. I should have expected something similar. So, let me look how can I… A-hah! This will work, don’t you think?
…Yes.
This will work. Let’s do it!
****
Rainbow Dash breathed slowly, tasting the air like if it was the finest of wines. It danced with her tongue inside her mouth, causing a subtle itchiness in it. It was fresh, thin and light. Her lungs became wider and filled with the gas, and then she expelled it as slowly as it had entered her body, still tasting it, now warm and heavy.
She scratched the ground with her hoof. It felt rusty and hard and… and… Dash frowned. And groundy? Was that even a word? Where were they, anyway? The pegasus could see her surroundings for the first time since all this late wave of crazy stuff had come, and she realized they were outside…
“…Rainbow.”
“Uh?” Twilight’s voice snapped her back into reality, though her hoof didn’t stop moving. The cold and hard feeling of the…
“RAINBOW!”
“What?!” Dash frowned and looked at her friend. She realized then that everypony was looking at her with a strange face, which seemed a mixture of confusion and fear. Applejack’s face, specially…
“RAINBOW, STOP!”
“Stop what?!” She asked, slightly annoyed. They were supposed to be quiet, right? And Twilight was the one talking, not her! Why were the girls looking at her so angrily? Again, Applejack’s face, specially…
“Stop doing that!”
“What?!” This time, a single bit of fear went to RD’s voice. Something bad was happening, but she wasn’t entirely sure about what it was. “What am I supposed to stop doing?!”
“Being narrated!”
****
Fluttershy felt strange, and that was frightening. For a single moment, she had been able to read everything Rainbow Dash was feeling, everything Rainbow Dash was thinking. She had been inside her mind, and that was scary.
Not because Rainbow Dash had scary thoughts! Oh, no, that was impossible! Fluttershy was sure Dash had always cool thoughts, and cool things couldn’t be scary. Well, sometimes they were, but Rainbow Dash always said that nothing could be completely cool without a little emotion, and she tried to understand that –even if it was completely against any kind of philosophy Fluttershy could have.
“Wait, what? Shy, are you thinking about me? Oh shit, don’t tell me that…”
“You were the one being narrated a couple seconds ago, Rainbow! But now…”
Fluttershy cringed. The reason why she was scared was exactly because she didn’t want this to happen! She was convinced everypony could read her mind now, or her feelings, just like it had happened with Dash. She knew why, or at least she believed she knew why. It was because they were again in a story, and they were being narrated… but the narration seemed different this time. More deep, more invasive… and everypony could read it.
“Hm, I think Fluttershy is right. I can break the fourth wall and read the narration without trouble. What about you, girls?”
“Same here!”
“Me too, me too!”
“Hm.”
“UH…”
So Fluttershy was right after all. Everypony could read her thoughts. And it was scary and she didn’t like it, and she tried to stop it but she couldn’t –she wasn’t even able to read her own narration! How was she supposed to stop it if she couldn’t see it?
The mare felt tears in her eyes. Being in another story was scary. Being narrated again, like this, was even scarier. She could only think about Discord and Chrysalis and green words and her friends fighting, and death and blood and…
“Fluttershy!”
She cringed at the words, but they snapped her narration. Trembling like a leaf, she raised her head and saw Pinkamena walking straight to her. Before she could react, a pair of hooves embraced her, and her head was resting in the pink earth pony’s chest.
Fluttershy felt instantly calmed by the sound of Pinkamena’s heart, and her tears dried out. Thu-thump. Thu-thump. Thu-thump.
“Easy, easy. Calm down.”
Fluttershy just nodded. She could see the rest of the girls (and Aragón, Peewee and Spike) approaching them with a confused glare.
“What just happened?”
“Well, judging by the fact that there’s a huge gray box with the words “author’s notes” on it, and it says that Louis is annoyed at us because we want to, and I’m quoting him, ‘play hard’, I guess he just started narrating us just to force us to do something.”
“Good analysis, Twilight!”
“…I didn’t’ say that.”
“What?”
“Oh, no. I see that we still don’t know who’s talking.”
Fluttershy bit her lip. “Oh goodness…”
“Well, we know when Fluttershy is talking, at least.”
The pegasus felt Pinkamena’s legs tightening around her a little harder. She felt a little blush on her cheeks and lowered her head, hoping nopony would notice it.
“Kinda hard to ignore it when you think about it so loudly, darling.”
Fluttershy blushed even harder. She tried to talk, but no words came to her mouth. She was so embarrassed… Why was she blushing in such a situation? Was it because Pinkamena was hugging her? It felt weird…
But still, she didn’t want the hug to finish.
It took her a couple seconds of awkward silence to become suddenly aware of two things. First of all, what she was feeling wasn’t exactly normal, in any way. It didn’t seem exactly bad, but she was sure it wasn’t natural.
And second, everypony could read everything she was feeling or thinking, so her sudden attraction towards Pinkamena was the worst kept secret of the entire Universe.
She started to cry again.
****
Twilight bit her lip when she read the words that were narrating Fluttershy. Talking about awkward, she thought. She sure hoped nothing like that happened to her. Although she had to admit it: Fluttershy and Pinkamena made a cute pairing. Besides, the sexual tension between them was fairly obvious since the first time they had been talk…
Wait. “I’m being narrated, right?”
“Yeah.”
“How did you guess it?”
“Mostly because you’re looking at me as if I was a monster.” Twilight sighed and flapped her wings in exasperation. “Also, suddenly I know when I am talking and I’ve somewhat turned into a pony who enjoys bad-written romance.”
“You sure didn’t seem to think it was bad-written, sugarcube.”
“It wasn’t!”
“Buuuhuuuh…”
“Oh, you made Fluttershy cry again.”
“It was poor-written, and incredibly stupid.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “And why do I like it? I mean, it’s genuine.” She looked at Pinkamena and Fluttershy, still hugging. While the yellow pegasus seemed incredibly embarrassed, Pinkamena didn’t seem to give a flying feather about anything they were thinking or saying. She was just looking at them with a serious face. “I kinda think they’re cute together, and that’s just…”
And then it hit her. Pinkamena was hugging Fluttershy, of all ponies. Pinkamena. The pony who had been both a monster and the best ally they could have asked for against Greentalk, the pony who had planned how to use her own mental disability to defeat both Discord and Chrysalis…
“I don’t think being an assassin counts as a mental disability…”
“Chst! She’s clearly having an epiphany here!”
“Well, sorry if I get slightly offended when somepony says I’m mentally disabled. You know, it’s not an everyday issue.”
“You get offended by that but you don’t mind when we think you have an affair with Shy?”
“EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-”
“That’s different. The first one is an insult; the Fluttershy thing is a misconception and Aragón just being a fucktard.”
“Hey! Why am I the bad guy here now?! I didn’t do anything!”
“IF YOU EXCUSE ME, I’M TRYING TO HAVE AN EPIPHANY HERE!” yelled Twilight. “And it’s kinda difficult when you just don’t shut up!”
“Well, you can try to have it while we’re discussing this. It’s kinda interesting.”
“-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-”
“You think this is interesting, sugarcube?”
“Yeah!”
“…And you are…?”
“I THINK THIS KIND OF CONVERSATION IS COMPLETELY USELESS. WE DON’T KNOW WHO’S SAYING WHAT, SO WE SHOULD ACTUALLY…”
“Well, we know you are Peewee.”
“And we also know when Fluttershy talks, because…”
“-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-“
“Yeah, she’s still doing that.”
“We also know when Applejack talks! She says “sugarcube”, right?”
“Yeah, and Rarity says “dear” or some other lady-like frufru word of hers.”
“Darling, I could take that as an offense.”
“Wait.” Twilight felt frustrated as her epiphany slowly decreased and disappeared, but she had to admit her friends were right. “I think I can see –or rather, narrate– who’s talking. That would make thing easier.”
“If you say so…”
At the sound of Spike’s voice, Twilight immediately turned to him, eager to see if it was the dragon talking. And, indeed, he was the one who had said that sentence. Twilight smirked. “See? I can narrate you!” she said.
“WELL THAT’S CERTAINLY RELIEVING INFORMATION I GUESS.”
Twilight didn’t need to look at Peewee to know that he was the one talking. His voice was too powerful, too deep, to… Too written in all-caps. She guessed the reason why it was like that was because the phoenix talked via telepathy. Something kind of logical, once you realized phoenixes didn’t have the physiology to form understandable words with their throats and mouths.
However, she did turn around again to see Peewee, and the phoenix was there, right in the point the voice had come from. Twilight used the movement to look at all her friends at once, and to grasp their environment and how they were. She had read many books in her life, and she had discovered a long time ago that ambiguous scenarios drove her crazy. Now that the narration was hers, it was time to tie that loose end.
“I think we have more important problems, Twi.”
She ignored the comment. Of course they had more important problems. They had a lot of issues to solve; so many, in fact, that they didn’t know where to start. They couldn’t recognize who was talking unless the narrator actively said so (and in some occasions, even the pony talking didn’t know if she had been the one talking, so the problem couldn’t be solved with a simple “I’m Twilight” at the end of each sentence, that would have been too easy), Fluttershy had suddenly developed feelings for Pinkamena…
“-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-“
And was somewhat able to scream for entire minutes without stopping for air while Pinkamena couldn’t care less for all of it, Twilight had herself became a shipper, which was completely crazy, and… Well, of course, they were in another story and they weren’t talking in colors and everything seemed to have changed. It was just too much information, too much data to regain. They had spent a lot of time doing nothing, being scared and creating what she was sure was the worst first chapter in the whole History of Ever, and it was time to get down to business.
“Well, that’s certainly true.”
A voice interrupted Twilight’s line of thoughts, and she glared angrily at the one who had talked. Aragón, the only other alicorn in the group apart from her. She rolled her eyes. That had been compl-wait.
She checked out her thoughts one more time. There was something off there. She couldn’t see her narration, sadly, but her friends…
“You just said you were an alicorn, sugarcube.”
“Yeah.”
“Certainly.”
“I’m sure you have actually talked about your wings earlier, darling.”
“SURE.”
“You’re an alicorn, Twilight! Isn’t it great?!”
Twilight hit the ground with her face. Usually she would have massaged her forehead with a hoof to show her frustration or exasperation, but the situation was just too stupid for it. It demanded a full face-ground meeting to show all the incredibly stupidity of what was happening.
“Add one more problem to the list,” she muttered, knowing that her friends had read her thoughts about the list of issues. “I’m an alicorn and I don’t know why.”
“I think I kno–”
“Aragón, nopony asked you.” Twilight groaned and moved her wings. Yes, they were certainly wings. How had she been a winged unicorn all this time without realizing was beyond comprehension, and seemed just the kind of thing you shouldn’t think about too hard.
So, they had just too many things to worry about. But even having a long list of possible mindbreaking problems, the one that was annoying her the most was the stuff about not knowing where they were or what were they doing. Even more annoying was the fact that between Rainbow Dash’s and Fluttershy’s narration they had discovered absolutely nothing about their surroundings. Louis seemed devoted to say what they were thinking or feeling, and only showed what they were seeing when they actively thought about it.
“Being fair, Rainbow Dash tried to describe where we are, but you interrupted her.”
“Yeah!”
“-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-“
“Somepony please calm down Fluttershy. She’s driving me nuts,” muttered Twilight. “And yes, now I remember that you actually tried to describe out position once you stopped thinking about how ground the ground was.”
“Nice one, sugarcube.”
“It sure showed the whole world just how deep Rainbow Dash’s mind is.”
“Well, sorry! It’s not like I knew what was happening!”
That just made it worse, thought Twilight. But then she realized Rainbow Dash could read what she was thinking, and calling one of her best friends simple-minded wasn’t exactly the best way to accomplish nothing, except maybe a couple laughs from Applejack and maybe Rarity.
“Hey! I’m not simple-minded!”
“We all know, sugarcube. Pffft.”
“YOU’RE LAUGHING!”
The fact that the completely pointless scene was going exactly as she had foreseen it wasn’t enough for Twilight to forget that it still was entirely pointless. “Dash,” she said, “I’m sorry I thought that, really. I didn’t mean it. Anyway…”
“Hey, how do we know the one who talked right now is Dash? Dash? Was that you?”
“I…don’t know.”
“But now you’re Dash or…?”
“I don’t know, you don’t know who you are either so…!”
“Shut up!” Twilight barked at the arguing pair and frowned at Rainbow. The temptation of simply looking around her to see where they were was strong, but suddenly an idea had struck her. Maybe Rainbow Dash didn’t remember where they were, although she had clearly looked at it when the narrator was focused on her. In a normal world, where causality worked as it should, Dash would be able to tell her everything. She had interrupted her, truly, but she had done so when the pegasus had already looked around her. The only thing she hadn’t done was to actually think about what she had seen.
But sadly, Twilight thought the answer she was going to hear was…
Was…
“Dash, I think she wants you to interrupt her narrative by answering.”
“What? Why would I do that? She’s thinking and that saves us a lot of time in explanations, right?”
“It’s called ‘style’,” Twilight muttered. “You know. That’s how good books do it.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“So, would you answer her?”
“Yeah, of course, of course. Hm.”
“What was the question again?”
“OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SUDDENLY THE STUPID ONE?!”
“WELL, SORRY IF I GET LOST! TWILIGHT JUST THINKS IN A WEIRD MANNER, OKAY?!”
“Yeah, I guess that for a pony who thinks the ground is ground words like ‘causality’ are just too much.”
“HEY!”
“Suddenly Dash is the one we laugh at? I like it! That means I’m not the stupid one this time!”
“Nopony is stupid here! Although that thing about Dash was funny. Te-heh.”
“Girls”. Twilight waved a hoof to call her attention. “Please, don’t do that. Rainbow, I’m asking you if you know where we are.”
“Oh, right! Well… I don’t really remember anything.”
Such as she had thought, then. Twilight was right to assume that everything the narrator didn’t tell hadn’t happened. That explained why nopony was sure who was talking unless the character talked in a very special way –there was no way they could mistake Peewee for Spike, for example.
The reason why this happened was crystal clear, of course. It was exactly the same thing that she had discovered long ago, right before being killed alongside Rarity. The story acted exactly as the thing it was: a story. If the readers didn’t know something, then they couldn’t know either.
Though Twilight felt it was something tricky. She had been unsure of a lot of little details, but she was finally getting it, or so she believed. It make a lot of sense, actually –once she was in the right state of mind, she was able to deduce pretty easily what was happening and how was it happening.
“Okay you should really explain what the hell does that mean because I clearly didn’t understand anything.”
“Oh, sorry,” answered Twilight. “Let’s see…
“As we’ve said a lot of times, this is not reality, it’s a story. A story meant to be read. This means that everything that happens is happening for the readers to read it. I once told you that we couldn’t know anything if the readers didn’t know it too, right?”
“Yes, I remember that.”
“Me too!”
“INDEED.”
“Well,” Twilight continued, “that wasn’t exactly right. See, if we can’t know what the readers don’t know, then everything that happened between Greentalk and us (you know, the final bit of the plan in which me and Pinkamena almost defeat him using time-travelling information and flashbacks) wouldn’t have been possible. Discord was able to break the fourth wall, so we needed to hide from him every single bit of explanation from him –effectively hiding it from the readers at the same time. So we were somehow able to know things the readers didn’t, and it’s clear that the readers knew things that we didn’t either –they were able to read everything and we didn’t until much later, right? But I think I’ve discovered the missing piece. See, girls, what happens here is not that the readers and us share information –although we obviously do–, is that we are readers of our own story, so we can only grasp the bits of data that a hypothetical reader of only our segments in the fic would get.”
****
Applejack cleared her throat after a few seconds of absolute silence. Twilight’s explanations had been becoming more and more convoluted lately, and she had discovered herself analyzing each word individually to understand what the heck she was saying. She looked at Pinkamena, still hugging Fluttershy (who had finally stopped screaming and now was just looking extremely confused, not knowing if she should still feel embarrassed or just pay attention), who seemed to have understood everything… but wasn’t talking at all.
The others, well… Rainbow Dash was looking at her puzzled. Her particular sugarcube hadn’t understood a word, she realized. Pinkie was smiling and blinking, completely motionless. Spike and Peewee were also staring with the same blank look, and…
“Wait here a minute.” Applejack frowned and looked around. They were all looking at her, not at Twilight. She then realized she wasn’t hearing (or reading, or… she really didn’t know how the information went to her brain, and she didn’t want to, being honest) any narration. So the only possible explanation was…
“Well,” she said. “It’s clear that you can’t read your own narration, because darn it, I wouldn’t have realized it was my turn if it wasn’t for your reactions.”
“You… you think of Rainbow as ‘your particular sugarcube’? Oh my god that’s so cute I don’t think I can hold it.”
Applejack didn’t need to look to know that the one who was talking was Aragón. “None of your business,” she replied nonchalantly. “Now, Twi, I’m afraid I didn’t get what you were saying. Mind you explain it in, uh, laypony’s terms?”
“Uhm. Well, I think I can…”
“I can help you, if you want. That would let me know if I’ve grasped what you’re saying correctly.”
Applejack turned around. The one talking was Pinkamena. “You’ve got it,” AJ said. “You’ve understood what she was saying?”
“I’m clever.”
“Go on then, please.”
“As far as I know, we couldn’t break the fourth wall –Pinkie doesn’t count.”
“Yay!”
“But still, we were aware that we were characters –so, in a certain level, we were meta. As in, this was a meta-story.”
Applejack had never heard of the world ‘meta’, but she didn’t stop Pinkamena. When she saw that the earth pony was looking at her, she nodded. “Doesn’t matter, I understand the overall meaning. Go on.”
“Hmm. Well, as I was saying, we were more or less breaking the fourth wall, even if we weren’t able to actually do what Pinkie does. So, the bit about information and how can we know things is easy: we are like readers of our own scenes.”
“Oh?”
“WHAT.”
“Oh, I get it, I get it!”
“Uh-huh.”
“Hm.”
“So we are readers.” Applejack nodded. She could understand what Pinkamena meant, or so she believed. They knew everything the narrator said about them, that was for sure. So, they knew everything the readers knew about them –but only the information they gathered from the scenes they were in. Like if they themselves were reading everything. As the narrator hadn’t said anything about the place they were in, there was no way they could know.
“Pretty much.”
Applejack smiled. So, she was right. But still… “But then, what was that about we knowing stuff the readers don’t?”
“Well, we’re something else than just readers. We’re readers and characters, so obviously we can think plans or gather information that the narrator doesn’t describe word-for-word, so the readers have no way to know it. We, however, do know them because… well, because we’re the ones who thought about it.”
“So the readers can know things we don’t know, and we can know things the readers don’t. Fair, don’t you think?”
“I guess.” Applejack sighed. “Then, we don’t know yet where we are ‘cause the readers don’t know. That’s why Rainbow doesn’t remember.” But if Greentalk was still alive and had said where they were, then the readers would know… and if they had deduced where they were but the narrator said nothing, then only them could know about it.
“Exactly.”
“Well no sense delaying it much more,” AJ muttered, and took a look around, trying to concentrate in actually thinking about their surroundings.
It wasn’t too difficult, because she knew the place better than her own hooves. They were in the center of Ponyville, right in front of Carousel Boutique. That had been the place where so much things had happened with Greentalk, so it seemed quite the best place to start a new adventure, she thought grimly. She just hoped this time nopony will force her to watch Rainbow Dash die.
They were scattered across the town, some looking at the sky, some looking at the ground. Once they saw that they weren’t exactly near each other, they walked to the exact center of the plaza and sat around the same point, facing each other. Their faces were widely different: Pinkie was grinning (she had been eerily quiet all this time, Applejack thought), Fluttershy flustered and looking at the floor; by her side Pinkamena had a determined look in her face (was that a grin? No, she had imagined it, she was as serious as an apple tree when it hasn’t been watered enough) and a leg on Shy’s shoulders. Rainbow Dash, by her side, looked completely lost. Rarity, Spike, Twilight and Aragón (the last two alicorns, their wings longer and more noble than a pegasus’, and both all dressed up fancy –Twilight as a servant, Aragón with a tuxedo and a top hat) and herself had a somewhat neutral expression. Peewee… Peewee had the same face all phoenixes had. Applejack wasn’t sure if they could smile or frown or just do anything with their faces. They had no lips after all.
“I CAN SMILE.”
“What? How? You have no…”
“I’M A CARTOON, YOU IDIOTS! IN CARTOONS EVEN ROCKS CAN SMILE!”
“Good point”.
“Wait, I’m still wearing that stupid dress?! Why didn’t the narrator say so?!”
“Darling, it suits you perfectly, you shouldn’t be asham…”
“Of course I’m ashamed! I’m going to take this thing off right now!”
“…Applejack, please.”
“Oh.” The farmer nodded and stared at Twilight while she undressed. If she didn’t do that, the poor thing couldn’t do anything, with all that stuff about not being narrated. Still, staring at her friend while she took those clothes off wasn’t exactly the best of scenarios. It felt… wrong, somehow. Rude, you could say.
The fact that Rainbow Dash was looking at her funny didn’t help either. Her particular sugarcube didn’t seem annoyed, but certainly wasn’t happy once she discovered the slight blush in Applejack’s cheeks. Meanwhile, Twilight was trying to take out the upper part of the dress, so she couldn’t see anything (Applejack then wondered how could a dress have an upper half. Didn’t dresses always come in a single piece?).
And then Applejack noticed something strange. Rarity was glaring at her, clearly upset. Her eyes were gleaming with a fire the farmer had never seen in her friend, and (Applejack couldn’t believe it) she was actually showing her teeth. It reminded Applejack of the way Winona acted when you tried to grab her food while she was eating.
Of course, once she finished that last paragraph, Rarity noticed what she was doing with her face… as well as absolutely everybody else. Twilight had stopped trying to take off the upper part of the dress and was looking at the ground, embarrased by Rarity's reaction.
After a few seconds of awkward silence, Applejack cleared her throat. Twilight was now looking at the ground, and both she and Rarity were as red as Fluttershy. Spike seemed to be unsure about what to feel, Pinkie Pie was raising an eyebrow and Aragón was…
“Well, this is something interesting.”
Applejack looked at her side. Rainbow Dash was staring at Rarity with a raised eyebrow, just like Pinkie. And then her marefriend looked at Aragón and narrowed her eyes. “Uh, sugarcube,” she said. “Is there something off?”
“Remember Twilight’s epiphany? The one that never was?”
“Yeah,” answered Applejack.
“Well, it was about how could Fluttershy suddenly be a lovebird, and she said it was because Aragón. And now the same is happening with Twilight and Rarity and just look at the guy!”
Applejack did, as well as absolutely everypony else. Aragón was grinning so hard it had to hurt, but once they looked at him, his smile slowly faded.
“Uh-oh. What have I done this time?”
****
Oh no, no puede ser que yo haya hecho esto, pensó Aragón. Simplemente no tiene sentido, Yo no…
“What?”
“What the… what kind of narration is that?”
“Huh?” Aragón frunció el ceño. Todo el mundo lo miraba con extrañeza. “What’s happening? Is there something wrong with my narration?”
“We can’t understand anything.”
“Oh.” Aragón torció la boca. “Well… why?”
“It seems to be in… another language. We can only understand your name.”
“Ah! I think I know what’s happening!” dijo… said Aragón. The narration was in Spanish, of course. Him being a Spaniard and that kind of stuff. “Better now?”
“Yeah. What did you do?”
“Try to think in English instead of in Spanish,” answered the alicorn with a smile. “I now, I’m awesome, you don’t need to say anything.”
“Anyway,” continued Aragón after a silent interlude, “why do you say it’s my fault? I didn’t do anything! It’s not my fault you’re in love, you know.”
“Yeah, it is.”
He looked at Pinkamena, the one who had said those words. She seemed to not give a single fuck about what was happening between Fluttershy and her. God, they were so cute together, he thought. It was not his favorite pairing, but still. And now Rarity and Twilight? That was also awesome. But definitely not his fault. “Look, I have no power to…”
“Yes, you have.”
Aragón raised an eyebrow and looked at Twilight, the one who had talked this time. “Excuse me?”
“It’s what you just thought… you’re a shipper. You like to, ugh, think about us as romantic pairings.”
He nodded, feeling Pinkie’s disapproving stare. “Well, yeah, but I only acted with Applejack and Rainbow Dash, and that was only at the beginning of the first story. Now I didn’t write anything!”
“It doesn’t matter! You don’t need to do anything, it’s just your stupid presence!”
“What?” The author blinked. “That makes no…”
And then it made sense.
Of course, it was because of him. His mere presence had turned Pinkamena into a hero and healed all her evilness with a single thought –he had some kind of influence in his surroundings. Maybe it had something to do with his recent alicorness, maybe it was because he was a Mary Sue, maybe it was just Louis being bad… He didn’t know.
But the thing was that he had started to think about Pinkamena and Fluttershy as a couple, because it made sense and they were so fucking cute together. The murderer and the one who couldn’t kill a fly: they were made for each other!
“That thought is sick and you should feel bad for it, you idiot.”
Well, Pinkamena didn’t seem to think the same. Now that he thought about it, the pink mare didn’t seem affected by his (there was no other word for it) shipping aura. She wasn’t blushing, or…
“Oh, no, I’m totally hooked up by Shy.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, I just don’t think it’s a big deal. It’s obviously Aragón’s fault, nothing you should be ashamed of.”
“B-but you’re still hugging…”
“As I said, totally hooked.”
Aragón chuckled. So damn cute together. Pinklamena’s serious face, which made her look like she was thinking she didn’t give a single fuck…
“That’s because I don’t give a single fuck.”
…was one of the tenderest things he had ever seen. But what about Twilight and Rarity? He turned to face them, red as they were. Well, he liked more the TwiPie ship, but with Pinkamena already taking Fluttershy, Rarity had no pairing (RariShy was a go-to for him) and, of course, putting anypony else with Pinkie was just stupid. There was already one Pinkie ship in this fanfic, no sense to letting a good ol’ RariTwi go to waste.
The faces of the ponies were just priceless. Anger, confusion and disgust weren’t enough to describe what did their faces show about their thoughts. Clearly, Aragón’s opinions about shipping weren’t exactly their cup of tea.
“It’s the most disgusting, stupid thing I’ve ever heard. And I’m a serial killer.”
“You’re welcome,” Aragón muttered. He gulped. They seemed genuinely angry at him this time –and of course it made sense, because he was technically mind-controlling them to act as he wanted. “Eh,” he mumbled, “maybe I could change it, if I concentrate a lot? Like, maybe I can revert the entire thing or…”
“That would be incredibly useful on your part, darling.”
“Huh.”
So Aragón tried to think about de-shipping his friends. It wasn’t exactly easy. He had been a shipper too much time, and seeing Twilight and Rarity flushing at each other or Pinkamena just hugging Fluttershy no matter what happened didn’t help. However, he did his best effort.
After a couple minutes, he smiled. “Better?” he asked. “I think I’m…”
“No.”
“No.”
“Still hugging her, so no.”
“N-no.”
“Well, that was disappointing.” Aragón sighed. “Maybe I need to think in something else. What if we go for another issue and solve this later? It’s not the most urgent…”
“I think it actually is, darling.”
“Uh.” The alicorn bit his lip. “Eh, sorry? There’s nothing I can do, at least for now.”
“Great. So now we’re in love with each other because we’re stuck here with a weirdo. Just great.”
“No, really, stop with the awkward silences!” Aragón kicked the floor. “I said I was sorry, okay? I didn’t want to do this! Can’t we please move on?”
“Sigh. Yeah, we should do that.”
“Definitely.”
“Well, I still think it’s an important issue!”
“We all do, but…”
“Nah, I think it’s not so bad.”
“What?”
“Who said that?”
“That issue, for example,” Aragón said, “is an important one.” Only knowing what was saying the narrated one was, at least, annoying. They had to come up with a way to know who was saying that, although he had no idea what to…
“I have an idea!”
He turned around. Pinkie was looking at him with a smile. “You do?”
“Yeah!”
“And it is…?”
“Why don’t we paint our words, just like we did before?”
“Just how long have you been able to do that?”
“Oh, since the beginning! I just thought it was fun to have nonsensical conversations!”
Aragón couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well, I guess we should have thought of that earlier.” In fact, now that he thought about it, hadn’t Pinkie painted red Pinkamena’s words before? Maybe she could do that again?”
“It was different. She could paint my words because she’s my creator, and –holy shit, Pinkie, did you do this?”
“Yes!”
“Oh.”
“And I think I can do it with the rest too! After all, the rules have changed, right?”
“What?”
“This is a sequel, I can read the title! And we start talking without colors, and we all can break the fourth wall, and now Aragón is an alicorn! Everything is different, so maybe I can just paint you all, right?”
“It… would make sense.” Aragón nodded. “I mean, we can try at least, right?”
“I guess?”
“So, Pinkie, can you –okay I see that you can, nevermind.”
“Woah.”
“Hm.”
“YOU DON’T NEED TO PAINT MY WORDS, PINKIE. I TALK IN CAPS ANYWAY.”
“Oki doki!”
“So… same colors? We all know who’s talking now?”
“We should be able to, yes.”
“…”
“So.” Aragón cleared his throat with a cough. “Now we can tell each other when somepony else is being narrated, and we know we are in Ponyville. What should we do now?”
“We should…”
“Wait!” Aragón raised a hoof, interrupting Pinkamena. “Wait, I see that the chapter is finishing. Try to answer in the most epic way possible, so we have a decent cliffhanger.”
“What?”
“Oh, come on, just do it!” said the author. He could see the earth pony shrugging.
“As you wish.
“You’re asking what do we do now? Easy. Now we know why we’re suddenly acting like lovebirds, we know where are we, we know the rules have changed and we know that this is a completely different each other. Last time we had a, let’s call it ‘adventure’, we didn’t know what we were doing. But now everything is different.”
“So…?”
“So now we can break the fourth wall.
“What are we going to do? We are going to analyze the fuck out of this story. By the end of the next chapter, we must know everything that is happening, how it’s happening, why it’s happening and how to stop it.”
Aragón could see Pinkamena looking at the sky, with what happened to be the wildest grin he had ever seen.
“Rule number two.”
