Chapters Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
"Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that no matter how hard..."
"YEAUGHHHH!"
Twilight Sparkle was disrupted by an abnormal scream off in the distance. Her curiosity got to the best of her, as she placed her ink dipped quill to the side of her letter. She peered out from the Golden Oaks Library of her bedroom window, to gaze towards the source of the rather unusual noise. The origins of the noise was casted from within the thick interior of the Everfree forest.
"Spike, did you just hear something that sounded like an audible scream?" Twilight peered over to the small purple dragon.
"Yeah Twi, but I think we should tell your friends before we check it out. You remember the incident with Applejack and the Timberwolves of course...."
"Hm....Your right. Perhaps we should search with my friends just as an extra safety precaution. You never know what you might find in the Everfree forest after all...." Twilight rubbed her chin with her fore hoof.
After the smoke dissipated from around the time displacement pod, Arnold kicked open the hatch door and tumbled onto the ground. His lungs were full of smoke and debris, as he gasped for a slight hint of fresh air. As the smoke rolled away in the thick heavy brush of the Everfree forest, Arnold gazed down at his forearms and biceps. The makeup and movie props were mysteriously relinquished from his body. He rushed over to a reflective piece of metal, to witness his youthful appearance once again! The time displacement equipment has caused him to regress in age. However, now he was trapped in an unknown world.
This new world was vibrant and pastel-like in appearance. He kneeled to the ground, to rip up a few blade of grass for closer investigation. The grass was certainly real to him, due to the texture and the scent it emitted. After he discarded the blade of grass, he realized that he was completely nude and isolated. His first priority was to find clothing and other possible intelligent life.
A curious feathered creature rattled from inside a nearby bush. The rustling caused by the movement of the creature captured Arnold's attention. Suddenly, the head of a white chicken sprung out to greet Arnold. It cocked it's head sideways, as it never saw a human before.
"Awww....areon't yew a cute liddle fellow." Arnold spoke aloud.
The deep voice of the Austrian legend caused fury to churn inside the feathered critter. It sprung from out of the bushes, and emitted a high pitch 'bwak' in self defense. It revealed itself to be a Cockatrice, with a reptilian body and wings that erected outwards. The creature gazed at Arnold, as the exterior of his body started to morph into stone. He was now a solid statue.
After a few minutes passed by, Arnold used his unprecedented strength to break from the stone. He was infuriated by this small critter who casted him into a statue. The Cockatrice was startled by his sudden escape. It violently shook in fear, as the huge bodybuilder towered over it.
"FACK YEW STOOPID CHICKEN!" Arnold hollered at the top of his lungs.
Arnold raised his muscular right leg, and kicked the Cockatrice with extensive force. The creature soared like a football into the horizon. It was never to be seen again.
After regaining his posture and his temperament, Arnold heard other creatures in the distance. The voices started to advance towards his position. They were having a conversation amongst themselves. He hid in a nearby bush, and awaited for the creatures to appear closer to him....
"Darling, what exactly was it that you required us for again?" Rarity yawned over to Twilight. The white mare just finished a long session at the Ponyville Day Spa.
"I heard a rather unusual scream from the Everfree forest. Perhaps it was a pony in trouble? I swear I've could've heard it from around here somewhere..." Twilight's voice appeared closer to Arnold Schwarzenegger.
The Mane 6 trotted swiftly behind Twilight, as Spike jogged near her side in caution. They saw smoke rolling out from behind a hedgerow of shrubbery. Twilight was the first to witness the otherworldly, alien time displacement machine that was lodged within the soft earth. The girls circled around the pod with deep intrusiveness, and wondered about the origins of such a peculiar device.
"What in the hay is this technological gizmo?" Applejack asked aloud in a strong southern accent.
"I've never seen anything like it before..." Twilight returned to the orange mare, while examining the interior of the pod.
"Um....girls....You should take a look at this...." Fluttershy spoke with a mellow tone of voice towards the Mane 6.
The soft spoken mare pointed her front hoof at the fresh imprints on the ground. They trotted over to surround Fluttershy and her discovery. There was evidence of chicken tracks, a long tail, and a very odd distinctive pattern of human feet molded into the earth. The girls couldn't identify the track pattern presented in front of them. As they were perplexed and somewhat startled by the foot pattern, they heard a sudden rustling from inside the shrubbery.
"Good Maurning!" A thick Austrian accent greeted the Mane 6 in the shadows. His greeting caused the girls to nearly leap out of their fur coats.
"Show yourself right this instant!" Rainbow Dash jumped in front of the girls.
"Aie would if Aie could, but mai appearance might startle yew." Arnold returned to the Mane 6.
"Oh darling, we've encountered everything from Hydras to Changelings. I'm sure we will be well prepared with a creature such as yourself. You seem rather charming. Why don't you reveal who you are?" Rarity returned to the mysterious creature.
"Alright, if yew say so...."
The girls watched in awe, as a dark silhouette rose up from behind the shrubbery. Arnold stepped forward to reveal himself, with a single beam of light that casted from above him. They froze in terror, as the Austrian bodybuilder moved in closer towards them. About three feet away, he paused and began to speak to the Mane 6. It snapped the girls out of their trance.
"Well, here Aie ahm!" Arnold's voice projected over the Mane 6.
"...RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Twilight mustered up enough courage to yell aloud. The girls trotted out of the forest while screaming. They trotted fast enough to appear out of Arnold's view.
"WAIT! WHERE ARE YEW GOING! AIE SWARE! AHM NOT AGEE, AIE AHM BEAUTIFUL!" Arnold cried aloud.
"WHAI?!?!....DEH BODY IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BEAUDIFUL THING!" Arnold held his massive hands over his face.
As he shed many manly tears, he pounded his fists into a nearby tree in pure frustration. Arnold sat on a nearby flat rock and wept to himself in deep sorrow. Unaware to him at the time, the tree that he pounded his enormous fists into came crashing down behind him. A cumbersome branch descended from the tree and struck him behind the base of his skull. He fell unconscious on the dirt base of the Everfree forest.
The girls panted vigorously after pausing for a brief second. They gasped for air and glanced towards each other with bewilderment and uncertainty.
"What in Celestia's name was that thing?" Rainbow Dash's magenta eyes widened with horror.
"I have absolutely no idea darling, but I think we may have overreacted towards it. We should go back and try to communicate with it again." Rarity grinned warmly to the girls.
She found the creature's thick foreign accent to be mysterious and attractive. Rarity's desire for another partner consumed her deep down inside. She managed to keep it secluded to her friends for all these years. However, this unknown creature fueled her quest for a significant other.
"Well hold yer horses Rare. I think y'all should tell Princess Celestia first. We have no idea what were dealing with here." Applejack returned to the girls.
"I agree Applejack. We have no idea what this creature might be capable of. Let's make a visit to Princess Celestia before we even attempt to venture back into the Everfree forest. Just as a safety precaution." Twilight proposed to the group.
They all agreed and nodded their heads in unison. After a long journey to Princess Celestia's castle, the Mane 6 appeared in front of Celestia's golden throne. She was busy reading a long list of royal duties for the castle. As her faithful student appeared in front of her, she rolled up her list and levitated it over to her sister. Princess Luna was to take over her royal duties in the meantime.
"My most faithful student, what brings you here on this very day?" Princess Celestia melodically projected to her unconditional top pupil.
"The elements of harmony and I have encountered a very unusual creature inside the Everfree forest. It may need our help, but we fled due to the uncertainty of the situation. I think you should come along to assist us. We are going to attempt to make contact with it again." Twilight returned to her mentor.
"I will be more than willing to aid you Twilight, and I glad that you asked for my assistance before venturing back into the Everfree forest. Many mysterious creatures whelm inside the thick interior, with many still yet to be discovered. I shall assemble my royal guards and my carriage for your journey. Meet me by the front gates within the hour."
The girls trotted on the crimson plush carpets back to the front of the castle. They waited anxiously for the princess, while silently discussing about the creature amongst themselves.
"I've never seen a creature in nature like that before. The only creature that I can recall that resembles it....Is Iron Will." Fluttershy spoke up to the girls.
"It kind of looked like a shaved gorilla! I wonder if it likes to party!" Pinkie squeaked with a high pitched tone.
"Whatever it was, it sure was massive and muscular. Maybe it's into working out?" Rainbow Dash questioned to the girls.
"I presume it's a male, darling. Judging by his masculine upper torso region and his deep tone of voice. Oh, I am so looking forward to meeting him again!" Rarity whinnied in pure delight and euphoria. Spike's eyebrow rose in suspicion towards Rarity's unusual attraction.
"I'm sure we will find out soon enough." Twilight returned to the Mane 6.
Princess Celestia's carriage was ready for departure at the front of the castle. A royal guard courteously presented the carriage door for them. They compiled inside the tight quarters of the carriage. Twilight told the location of the machine to her mentor, and Princess Celestia ordered the carriage drivers to be escorted along the outside of the forest.
After a short journey to the exterior of the Everfree forest, the carriage parked directly along the thick shrubbery. Princess Celestia examined the time displacement pod with intentional detail. A short while after, they heard a slight moan from the mysterious creature.
"...yeaugh...." The creature spoke in unconscious pain.
"Is this the creature that you spoke of?" Princess Celestia levitated the heavy branch away from Arnold Schwarzenegger's head.
"It sure is, Sugarcube." Applejack trotted along the side of Princess Celestia. Spike and the girls appeared from behind the two.
"He seems to be unconscious. I shall have him escorted to my castle immediately. You girls may wait for the creature to regain consciousness outside my chambers." Princess Celestia ordered her royal guards to lift the creature into her carriage for a safe departure.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was wrapped in a white silken blanket for comfort. He was placed along the plush seat inside the carriage. The girls intently followed the escort carriage from behind, wondering how the creature would react once he regained consciousness inside the castle....
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 3: Arnold's Awakening
"Yeaugh...."
"Shhhh! Quiet everypony! I think he's regaining consciousness." Twilight silenced her friends abruptly.
The Mane 6 seized their reticent conversations amongst one another. They surrounded the mysterious creature in a circular perimeter, and eagerly anticipated his awakening. Arnold mumbled and moaned in a thick Austrian accent. As he suddenly started to invigorate with life on the royal plush mattress, his eyes gradually opened into the same pastel world once more. The girls, along with Princess Celestia, towered over the bed to see how the creature would react.
"GAAAAAHHH!" Arnold flung his arms upwards as a natural defensive mechanism. The girls jumped backwards in total
"Where ahm aie? What is dis place? How did aie get here?" Arnold sputtered out wearily in his thick Austrian accent.
The ponies inside the room were speechless. Not only did the creature speak their language, but it was self aware and perceptive as well. Princess Celestia was the first to speak to the intelligent creature.
"Why hello there, unusual creature. It appears that you speak our language. Allow me to properly introduce myself. My name is Princess Celestia, and welcome to my castle in Canterlot. Do you have a name?" Celestia cautiously proceeded to advance towards the creature again.
"Agh....talking ponehs? Aie really gaught to lay auf deh Kalifornia kush. Ahm never going to get stoned while watching Mai Liddle Poneh ever again....Wait ae minute, DIS IS REAL!" Arnold's eyes suddenly widen with disbelief.
He ran his hand over the silk lining of the bed. Arnold felt himself to reassure his senses and basic motor skills were functioning properly. Realizing that he was completely sober and trapped in a unknown world, he proceeded to ask a few more questions to the Princess.
"How did aie arrive in dis world?" Arnold returned to Princess Celestia. Twilight stepped forward to answer his impeding question.
"You arrived in Equestria by a technologically advanced metallic sphere. I was interrupted by an ominous scream coming from the Everfree forest. I originally thought it was a pony in trouble, so I've gathered my friends and decided to investigate the source of the noise. That's when we saw your gigantic pod. I am sincerely sorry for startling you, for your appearance frightened us at first. We found you unconscious when we returned...." Twilight blushed slightly while stroking her mane.
"So! Do you have a name?" Pinkie Pie impatiently bounced closer to the bed.
"Yeah....It's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Mai name is Arnold Schwarzenegger." Arnold projected over everypony with his deep voice.
"Arnold.....Schikenwacken? Hehe, that's a funny name! I'm Pinkie Pie! And welcome to Equestria!" Pinkie Pie energetically sprung up and down. The other girls moved forward to introduce themselves.
"Allow me to extend ah warm southern greeting! Ahm Applejack, and y'all look like you belong on a farm judgin' by those muscles..." Applejack briefly examined Arnold's upper torso region. She liked what she saw.
"I'm Rainbow Dash! The fastest and coolest Pegasus you'll ever meet!" Rainbow Dash boasted with self pride.
"Oh good heavens! Excuse me for impolite matters. I should have properly addressed myself beforehand. My name is Rarity, darling. If you ever need or desire Equestria's finest clothing, I will be more than pleased to make absolutely anything for you..." Rarity's eyes transcend into a dreamy state towards Arnold.
"Um.....I'm Fluttershy. Maybe if you need a place to stay.....I guess I can take you in...." Fluttershy melodically projected, while hiding her facial features behind her pink mane. She kicked up dust with her fore hoof.
"I'm Twilight Sparkle! If you ever need any resources or have questions about Equestria, stop by the Golden Oaks Library! I would like to know more about your species after you get settled here. What exactly do you classify your species as?" Twilight asked Arnold with pure intrusiveness. Pinkie Pie squealed impatiently after Twilight.
"A shaved albino gorilla?!?!" Pinkie rested her front elbows at the foot of Arnold's bed.
"Heheaugh...No yew silly pink equine. Dey call mai species a human. Yeaugh, a hooman. Homo Sapien tew be exact." Arnold returned to the girls.
"But first, Aigh am going to need some clothes, some boots, and a place to stay." Arnold covered his lower body with the white silken blanket. When he elevated himself out of the bed, his appearance was similar to a muscular Greek god. The girls stared in awe, as Arnold stood up and affixed the blanket around his waistline. His natural charisma and easygoing personality compelled the Mane 6 to instantly fall in love with him. Rarity urged Arnold to follow her out from the castle. The other girls bombarded him with many questions along the way.
"So, what do humans eat Mr. Schwarzenegger?" Twilight asked as the girls departed the castle altogether.
"We hoomans aer omnivores. Our species eats both meat and vegetables. Aie prefer to eat a balanced meal with aie high protein diet." Arnold returned to the inquisitive purple mare.
"....You don't eat small critters, do you Mr. Schwarzenegger?" Fluttershy's concern for her animal friends forced her to ask this question.
"Nao....Don't worry Fluttershy. Aie only eat fish and chicken. Most of mai protein caums from supplements after aie paump at the gym. I guess yew never saw mai movies before. I had a pet ferret in Kindergarten Cop, and I fed aie baby deer with a ice cream cone in Commando." Arnold returned to the yellow Pegasus. This eased some tension for the shy mare, and aroused some innocent attraction for Arnold.
"So, you go to the gym, huh? That's pretty awesome. Are all humans like you? How much can you lift?" Rainbow Dash proceeded with her own series of questions.
"Naw Rainbow Dash, naught all humans aer like me. I was aie seven taime mister Olympia back aon earth. In case yew don't know what dat means, I achieved deh title of world's strongest bodybuilder seven taimes in a row. I've bench-pressed was 440 pounds. Deh most I've ever deadlifted was 680 pounds in mai bodybuilding career."
"Ha! That's it? Most ponies I know can bench-press around 1000 pounds. Maybe we should work on your weightlifting some time?" Rainbow Dash proposed.
"Well, he looks mighty fine to me sugarcube. If y'all told me that he could lift 600 pounds, then he'll be especially useful at the Sweet Apple Acre's farm. We can sure use ya to help the family." Applejack blushed slightly to Arnold.
Even though Arnold's glory days were practically in the past, A new opportunity was presented for the Austrian Oak. Maybe going back to earth was a bad idea after all. He regressively aged in this new mysterious world. Thirty years old, and more enthusiastic to begin a new way of life. The media slandered his reputation and nearly destroyed his chances of making a comeback. This was his golden opportunity to bury his past mistakes.
Was it possible for him to start all over again?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 4: A Trip To The Carousel Boutique
"Darling! Oh I absolutely cannot wait any longer! Let us depart for your new clothing..."
Rarity whinnied with pure delight. With the girls surrounding him, Arnold Schwarzenegger emerged into the town square of Ponyville. This of course was accompanied by the many blank gazes and frightful stares from the citizens in the market center. Some families hid their foals, while others were brave enough to follow the hulking Austrian Oak. One specific cyan mare sprung up from the crowd. She trotted towards Arnold with a few things in mind.
"A....A HUMAN! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU ACTUALLY EXIST! PLEASE, DON'T EVER LEAVE ME!" Lyra Heartstrings clung to Arnold Schwarzenegger's side like a completely stupefied fan girl. This annoyed the rest of the Mane 6, while Arnold merely laughed it off in the meantime. The insane mare then decided to climb on his back and examine the rest of his muscular features.
"Okay Leerah, cahm daough alreadee. Aiem naut going anywhere anehtime soon...." Arnold lifted the overly excited mare off from him. Lyra trotted back to her friend Bon Bon, only to boast about how she was touched by a human to every pony in the crowd.
"I sincerely apologize for that mare's ludicrous behavior. She would brag to every pony about your kind with no factual evidence. Now since you are here is all the proof that we need I suppose." Rarity returned to Arnold.
The group was just minutes away to the Carousel Boutique. Rarity was the first to appear in front of the doorway. She used her magic to open the door for Arnold. Afterwards, she blocked the doorway to give a small speech to her friends.
"Now girls, I must need absolute silence when I am working with my client here. Arnold and I will need to be alone for the next few hours. I will gather measurements, try out different fabrics, and will ultimately decide what clothing he shall wear. Oh, this is absolutely overwhelming for me! To work on a creature that finally requires clothing!" Rarity expressed unprecedented euphoria in front of the girls.
"Can we just wait patiently on the ground floor?" Twilight asked Rarity in front of the doorway.
"Like I said darling, I require absolutely no distractions when working on my clients!" Rarity slammed the front door abruptly in Twilight's face.
"Gosh darn it, what's gotten into her lately?" Applejack questioned to the girls.
"I'm not exactly sure Applejack, but I know that Arnold presents a golden opportunity for her. If she's successful with her first and only human client, I know that her business will surely take off afterwards. Perhaps she's overwhelmed with excitement." Twilight returned to Applejack.
"Either that, or she's becoming emotionally attached to him..." Rainbow Dash proposed to the girls.
"How's that, Rainbow Dash?" Spike asked for his concern over Rarity. Jealously was slowly churning inside the small purple dragon.
"Well look at her for crying out loud! She's practically hoarding him from the rest of us! Honestly, when's the last time you've seen Rare act like that?" Dash boasted aloud in the group.
"When um....When she first met Prince Blueblood?" Fluttershy silently projected.
"Exactly Flutters! Come on, let's go grab a bite to eat in a few hours. Keep a close eye on Rare when we return...."
"Alright darling, please wait in the kitchen while I prepare my workshop. Feel free to turn on the tea kettle in the meantime..." Rarity trots up the staircase to the upper floor. Arnold attempts to make himself comfortable by taking a seat at the kitchen counter. He examines the interior of the lower floor as he patiently awaits for Rarity.
"Whai is everything so damn pink! Agh, If aie stare aneh langer, aie think aie will start to develop a toomah...."
Opalescence appears suddenly from the cat flap in the doorway. Never seeing a human before, the peril white cat cautiously approaches Arnold with each step. After briefly smelling the scent of the human, Opalescence gains his trust and brushes up against Arnold's leg. Arnold looks down at the furry white critter and attempts to pick it up.
"Awwww.......Aren't yew a cute liddle kiddeh......." The Austrian Oak proceeds to baby talk the unamused cat.
While being held in his hands, Opalescence freaks out and emits a loud screech. The cat scratches Arnold's arm and hisses wretchedly. Arnold emits a bellowing scream and drops the cat on the multi colored floor.
"YEW LIDDLE WHITE SHETHEAD! I AHM GOING TO CRUSH YEW!" Arnold grabs a rolling pin from the kitchen counter and proceeds to chase the frightened cat. Just before doing so, Rarity trots down from the second floor to see what the commotion was all about.
"Darling! Good heavens! What on earth is going on here? Is everything alright?" Rarity questions the hulking bodybuilder with the rolling pin raised.
"Augh.......everything is faine Rarity......" Arnold places the rolling pin back on the kitchen counter in a calm matter.
"Well, Everything is prepared upstairs for you darling. Please follow me this way...." Rarity urges the bodybuilder to follow her from behind. They travel up the staircase simultaneously to Rarity's workshop. She slowly creeks the door open for the bodybuilder. Once inside, the room was dimly lit by red candles and scented with a welcoming aroma of perfume.
"Welcome to my workshop Darling! Now if you can please stand in front of these mirrors, I will proceed to gather tape measurements around your body...."
"Augh, Rarity? Is dis normal to have all dese red candles in yer workshop? And what is dat smell?" Arnold scanned the interior of the workshop like a terminator.
"Oh, the candles? That's quintessential for my workshop darling. You see, I appear to work best in low light environments with minimal distractions. The aroma of perfume that you may appear to be smelling only heightens my senses...." Rarity nervously laughs to herself in a quiet matter.
"Whadeva, let's proceed with deh clothe making nao."
Arnold steps onto the platform in front of the mirrors. Rarity uses her magic to levitate the measuring tape and begins measuring Arnold's muscular shoulder width. Afterwards, the white mare gathers other measurements around his torso and arm region. She collects the information from the tape measure and writes it down on a separate piece of paper.
"My.....you sure are a big fellow Mr. Schwarzenegger...." Rarity giggles to herself, while she proceeds to gather more measurements.
"Dat's what everyone tell's me back in mai world....." The Austrian Oak returns to the white mare.
"Pardon me Mr. Schwarzenegger, for my last measurement, I'm going to ask you to remove your lower clothing for me.....I mean for my final measurements Darling......" Rarity grins slightly to Arnold with a sly blush.
"Agh.....Maria bedder naught find aout about dis......" Arnold drops his bed sheet wrapped around his waistline. Rarity's eyes glimmered to the sight of Arnold in the nude. Her lady like intentions and inner lust for Arnold was far to great for her to comprehend. After a few moments later, she regained focus and continued measurements around Arnold's lower region.
"Alright Darling, that should be it! Please wait downstairs in the meantime while I prepare your clothing. This should only take a few moments......"
Arnold waited patiently on the lower floor while his clothing was inside the workshop. He spotted a large spool of thread that was shaped like a dumbbell. Bored out of his mind, he proceeded to curl the spool of thread until realizing how heavy it was. He nearly dropped the spool on his own foot, realizing that it must've weighted at least 200lbs.
"Darling, your clothing is ready dear....and I also have a pleasant surprise for you......" Rarity called down to Arnold.
Wondering what the surprise would be, Arnold jogged up the staircase like an innocent quire boy. While at the peak of the staircase, he found a trail of rose pedals leading into Rarity's room. This arouse some suspicion inside the Austrian Oak. He slowly paced himself inside the dimly lit room yet again, only be greeted by Rarity on her bed in a sultry pose. She was wearing her infamous pink lined bathrobe. His suspicions were correct about Rarity. However, he kept a calm and collective stature.
"Your clothing is done darling. I've placed it on the doorknob right behind you. However, your broad manly features simply intrigues me. For all of my life, I've searched for my hulking knight in shining armor to emerge from the Everfree forest. I am simply a damsel in distress waiting for her....male counterpart to return one day..." Rarity spoke to Arnold seductively. She used her telekinetic magic to slam and lock the door firmly behind him. Arnold attempted to open the door to no avail. He scanned the interior of the room swiftly for an escape. The bedroom window was his only option.
"Sorry honee, but aie don't date beaudiful desperate talking ponehs!" Arnold threw himself into the nearby window with all of his might. He flew from out the window, and tumbled onto the grassy null. The Austrian Oak sprinted with all of his stamina on the dirt pathway that led into Ponyville. Rarity sobbed and shouted in the distance.
"WAIT, DARLING! DONT LEAVE ME! I SINCERLY APOLOGIZE FOR MY ANIMALISTIC BEHAVIOR! I PROMISE IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 5: Fluttershy's Benevolence
The nude Austrian Oak found refuge under a bridge near Ponyville's town hall. As Arnold sprinted down to the lower gully, many pony families attempted to cover the wandering eyes of their young. Never in their lives did they witness a muscular human sprint so fast to take refuge under a bridge. Once he was out of sight, Arnold attempted to dress himself in a quick matter. He discovered that the clothes Rarity made for him appeared to be extremely tight and uncomfortable. His biceps ripped through the plaid t-shirt with minimal effort. However, some clothing was better than no clothing in his situation. He was off to find Fluttershy's cottage.
"Excuse me madam, but can yew direct me to the path of Fluttershai's Cottage please?" Arnold tapped a purple caped mare on the shoulder.
"Who dare's to ask the great and power Trixie for direct....." Trixie turned and responded harshly, to discover that she was in the presence of the only human in Equestria.
"What on Equestria are you exactly?" Trixie raised an eyebrow to the towering figure above her.
"Aie ahm Ahnuld Schwarzenegger, and I need a directions to Fluttershai's cottage immediately. Where is she?" Arnold returned to the bumptious mare.
"Trixie does not take to demands ever so lightly. If you want directions to Fluttershy's cottage, then you must prove your worthiness in Trixie's presence. Challenge me to a magical duel human!" Trixie boasted aloud for everypony to hear. The crowds of ponies in Ponyville's town square gathered around the two.
"Ae magical dewl? Are yew kidding meh Trixie? Hasn't Twilight Sparkle taught yew anything about boasting and humbleness?"
"Oh, she has Mr. Schwarzenegger, but I still do not take requests from inferior creatures such as yourself. You must prove your worthiness if you are willing to get answers from me. From what I heard, you teleported from a far away place to get into Ponyville. I want to see what your really capable of!" Trixie challenged the Austrian Oak.
"But aie do not know anehthing about dis magics you speak of. Aie was in dis machine for a moveh and somehao ended up here!"
"Alright Mr. Schwarzenegger, maybe your background isn't in magic, but I've heard your capable of great strength. Here, lift this tree with relative ease then." Trixie uprooted a tree with her magical capabilities, and slammed it in the soft earth in front of Arnold. The ponies in the audience jolted backwards in surprise. Arnold shrugged his shoulders, and proceeded to squat in front of the tree. With all of his might, he lifted the tree over his head for everypony to see. The crowd gasped in awe, as the Austrian Oak tossed the uprooted tree behind him.
"Very impressive Mr. Schwarzenegger, but I'm still not thoroughly convinced that your worthy of my presence just yet. My next task will require you to lift these two boulders with each arm!" Trixie rolled over two boulders with her telekinetic magic. The boulders were roughly the same size and weight of Tom.
"Alright.....Whateva!" Arnold shouted impatiently over to Trixie. He paced himself in front of the large boulders, and lowered himself down to the grassy null. Everypony lost visual sight of the Austrian Oak behind the two boulders. The crowd silently discussed and wondered about his disappearance, while others were in denial that if he could possibly lift such heavy objects.
"Eughhh......YEAUGH!" The Austrian Oak yelled aloud behind the boulders. The boulders slowly rose from up the ground, with each cumbersome rock supported over the broad shoulders of Arnold Schwarzenegger. The crowd dropped their jaws in awe, while Trixie was still unimpressed. She had one final challenge for the Austrian Oak.
"Well done, Mr. Schwarzenegger, but I have one more challenge for you to complete. Snips, Snails, please fetch the great and powerful Trixie.....Ursa Minor please...."
The crowd gasped in shock and horror. Trixie was surely incapable of relinquishing Ursa Minor in the past. How will the town fare off if the celestial bear became violent and out of control? They would require the help of Twilight Sparkle yet again, that's only if the legendary Arnold Schwarzenegger can't tame the mighty beast.
Snips and Snails struggle to heave an enormous cage in everyponies view, with a 'Trixie-styled' blanket shrouding the exterior. They wheeled the front of the cage in front of the mighty Schwarzenegger, which didn't phase him one bit. Trixie ordered the release of the blanket, while the crowd slowly trotted backwards with uncertainty. Trixie levitated a metal rod to bang on the metallic bars of the cage. It woke up the slumbering bear, who was already in a state of great agitation. She released the front lock mechanism and opened the cage door in front of Arnold. The bear hollered a menacing roar, which caused some ponies to flee from the scene.
Arnold had to act quickly if he was able to tame the beckoning beast. He formulated a plan to take down the celestial bear and sprung into action. The bear attempted to swing it's mighty paws at the tiny Schwarzenegger. Arnold was able to dodge the paw by a fraction of a second, while managing to cling on the bear's arm in doing so. He climbed up the side of the grizzly beast's arm, and managed to scurry onto the back of it's head with relative ease. Arnold proceeded to sing with one of Fluttershy's lullabies from memory.
"Hush nao, quiet nao.
It's tiame tew lay yer sleepy head.
Hush nao, quiet nao.
It's tiame tew go tew bed...."
Arnold sang in a low deep melodic voice. The soothing melody from the almighty Schwarzenegger had full effect on the agitated Usra Minor. The bear collapsed to the ground, in a state of timid peacefulness and tranquility. Trixie's eyes widened with total disbelief as a result. This mysterious human has successfully tamed one of the most feared creatures in all of Equestria!
"Nao.....Are yew going to tell me deh whereabouts of Fluttershai's cottage? Or ahm aie going to have to pound yew into the ground Misses Trixie?" Arnold stepped off from the sleeping behemoth. The ponies surrounded the towering Austrian Oak with cheers and unconditional laughter.
"How.....How did you manage to tame the great Ursa Minor?!? That's impossible!" Trixie returned to Arnold.
"With onleh kindness and love Miss Trixie. Yew see, Aie learned it from Fluttershai a few maughts ago...."
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 6: A Conflict with Angel
Trixie Lulamoon was still in a state of denial, after the mighty Schwarzenegger tamed the omnipotent Ursa Minor in front of everypony. Trixie withdrew her magical hat off from her head with disgrace, and bowed shamefully towards Arnold with a few things to say.
"...Well Mr. Schwarzenegger, I am a mare of my words. I sincerely apologize for my rambunctious and careless behavior towards you. Follow me this way please..." Trixie shamefully requested the towering Austrian Oak to follow her.
"Hey....No problemo Miss Trixie. Aie forgive yew for yer careless actions. Besides, sometimes I enjoy aie quarrel with aie feisty woman with ahn upbeat determination." Arnold winked back to Trixie. She lifted her head, after receiving a complement from a character who appeared to be forgiving and kindhearted. This statement restored some confidence and motivation within the defeated blue mare.
Arnold chatted with the magical mare while following a dirt pathway to Fluttershy's cottage. After finally meeting their destination, Trixie turned back to Arnold, before departing into Ponyville's town square once more.
"The great and powerful.....I mean the great and humbled Trixie wishes the best of luck to you Mr. Schwarzenegger. If you are ever in need of assistance for anything, just give me a shout. I swing by Ponyville's town square every so often."
"Awlright, will do Trixie..." Arnold waved to the blue mare, as she trotted off in the distance.
Fluttershy's cottage was now in sight of the Austrian Oak. Birds sung a familiar tune around him, while other small furry creatures approached the towering human in pure curiosity. A family of ferrets scurried out from underneath the bridge, due to all of the commotion caused by the critters surrounding Arnold. They spotted the unusual creature above the bridge.
"Hey! Eits a familee of farrets! !" Arnold exclaimed with recognition. The small family of critters reminded him of his movie set on Kindergarden Cop, and the ridiculous statements of Ferret legalization he's received while in office. He reached out his hand to greeting the small critters. The ferrets sniffed his muscular hand, and scurried up the pathway of his bulging arms and around his shoulders.
"Huehaughhaugh. Aie regret naught legalizing yew in California." Arnold laughed with a calming deep voice. He approached the wooden door to Fluttershy's cottage with the ferrets still attached to him. He clenched his fists and knocked on the top section of the door.
"....Oh um, Mr. Schwarzenegger! My friends have been looking for you for the past few hours. Please come in and make yourself comfortable in the meantime...." Fluttershy proposed to Arnold. His sudden appearance caught the shy mare off guard. The ferrets bolted down the muscular legs of Arnold Schwarzenegger and scampered out the front door. Fluttershy closed both sections of the door afterwards.
"I....um.....see that your pretty good around animals. Pardon me if my cottage is somewhat messy due to my animal friends. I wasn't expecting you in um....such short notice...." Fluttershy blushed shyly to the towering Austrian Oak. Angel appeared behind Fluttershy's rear, and tugged on her tail impatiently for food. The spoiled white rabbit tapped his left foot with his arms crossed.
"Oh um, excuse me Mr. Schwarzenegger. My poor little Angel has been waiting for food all day. He must be starving by now. Please seat yourself while I make something for him in the kitchen...." Fluttershy trotted off to the kitchen.
The only living creatures who were present in the living room where Arnold and Angel. The Austrian Oak was very well aware of his spoiled demeanor from watching so many episodes of My Little Pony. He squatted down to Angel's height, and pointed his finger directly at Angel with a few words to say.
"Now yew listen to meh. I know who yew are liddle brat. Aie will naut tolerate your spoiled bullshet while ahm here, yew gaut that? Yew will treat me with deh upmost respect when ahm around. Ahn if yew daougnt, I will turn yew into rabbit stew when ahm done with yew...." Arnold was rudely interrupted by a slap on the face. The little white rabbit fell backwards while dying from laughter. Arnold's head flared up like a teakettle on a stove. Angel ceased his laughing, as Arnold proceeded to grasp the little white rabbit by his ears. The Austrian Oak dropped the juvenile rabbit suddenly, as the sound of Fluttershy's hoof steps neared the living room. She entered with a large bowl of salad.
"Angel, why do you look so frightened?" Fluttershy asked the trembling white rabbit. He pointed towards the only living human in Equestria while cowering behind her front hoof.
"I know....He is quite unusual, isn't he? Don't be frightened Angel, he is as harmless as a baby deer. So um, Mr. Schwarzenegger, what other animals are you familiar or affiliated with in your world?" Fluttershy balanced the bowl of salad for Angel on the floor. He dragged his food bowl into the kitchen within a hurry.
"Everehthing that Aie've seen so far in dis world is deh same on mine. Everehthing but deh mythological creatures and yew talking colorful ponehs of course. I'd hate to jaump to conclusions so fast, but augh....Where will aie be sleeping in yer cottage if aie may ask?" Arnold asked the humbled yellow shy mare.
"I guess....you could stay in my bedroom in the meantime. I will sleep on the couch until I make up a room for you....But um....My friends are still looking for you in Ponyville. I need to tell them that your here. Since your so good around my critter friends, can you watch over my sweet little Angel for me while I'm gone? I'm sure you two will get along just fine....." Fluttershy opened the front door to her cottage.
"NAO! WAIT FLUTTERSHAI, YEW DAUGHT UNDERSTAND! DAT LITTLE MONSTA EIS EVIL!" Arnold ran to the door, as Fluttershy trotted over the small bridge and vanished off in the distance. Behind him, Angel reappeared inside the living room. The little white devil grinned menacingly, while equipped with Fluttershy's pottery and glassware from around the cottage.
"Awlright yew little white rabbit....Dis is War......"
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 7: Into Twilight's Library
"...Ok girls, Arnold came to my cottage after visiting Rarity's Carousel Boutique...He agreed to look over my sweet little Angel bunny....."
"GAAAAHHHHHH! ANGEL! STHAP EIT! AIE DIDN"T ANEHTHING TO YEW!"
The Mane 6 crew suddenly paused for a brief moment. They've shared expressions of discontent and worry with each other. Audible sounds of glass colliding with a hard surface; Were accompanied with the unpleasant sounds of pottery fragmenting inside. Without hesitation, they trotted to the front doorway of Fluttershy's cottage and swung open the door. What they witnessed inside the living room was nothing but short of a disaster.
"Fluttershai! Make dis liddle devil sthap! I swear aie didn't dew anehthing to him!" Arnold protected his upper torso region with a large pillow from the couch. He took cover behind Fluttershy's green futon, while Angel continued to bombard and pelt the area around Arnold Schwarzenegger. Fluttershy flared up like a volcano towards her beloved white rabbit.
"ANGEL! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! LEAVE MR. SCHWARZENEGGER ALONE RIGHT NOW MISTER!" Fluttershy stomps her front fore hooves to the ground. Her sudden outburst caused the Mane 5 to jump back a little. Angel lowered Fluttershy's glassware to the ground, and his eyes started to water with sorrow and regret. He hopped out the front door while bawling in embarrassment.
"Um...Angel? Wait! Angel Bunny! I'm so sorry...Please come back! Mama apologizes for lashing out at you!" Fluttershy proceeds after her little white rabbit. She trots off in the distance.
"...Wow. That was intense." Twilight commented after witnessing the dramatic episode.
"I've had a premonition that Mr. Schwarzenegger wouldn't last long in Fluttershy's cottage with Angel." Dash returned to the group after Twilight's comment.
"Thank gawd yew girls aer here. Dat little white rabbit is deh devil...." Arnold suddenly noticed that Rarity was with the group. He proceed with a question in regards of the previous episode with the elegant white mare.
"Raritee.....Yew didn't......"
"Oh, of course not Darling....Hehe, let's keep those matters only between ourselves..." Rarity expressed a shy blush in front of her friends. This raised some eyebrows between the Mane 5.
"As yew can all see...Staying at Fluttershai's cottage eis aout of deh question. Aie still need a place to stay until aie get mai bearings straight. And eit is getting late as aie can see." Arnold spoke in front of the group of girls. The sun was setting off in the horizon. Dusk was approaching swiftly.
"Well, perhaps you can stay at the Golden Oaks library for awhile Mr. Schwarzenegger. I suppose I can make a bed up for you on the lower floor. There are also plenty of books for you to read as well!" Twilight proposed innocently in front of her friends.
"Alright Miss Sparkle, Aie cannot deny an auffer like that. Also, Rainbow Dash, aie want tew knaough where deh closest gym tew Twilight's place. As four deh rest of yew girls, Aie will see yew all tomorrow."
"Got it! See you tomorrow then Mr. Schwarzenegger!" Dash saluted Arnold. She extended her wings and uplifted herself from the ground, and flew off towards the general direction of her house in the sky.
"I.....uh.....could use yer help around Sweet Apple Acres if ya don't mind Sugarcube. We get up mighty early in the mornin', but in return y'all get a free breakfast and ah chance to meet mah family!" Applejack suggested to Arnold with a thick southern accent.
"Sure Applejack...but make sure yew tell your family dat dis Austrian eats alout of food! Aie hope yer granny can make aeh excellent meal before aie go paumping with Dash for deh day."
"Not a problem partner! I'll swing by Twilight's place by tomorrow early in the mornin' then. See ya'll tomorrow!" Applejack waived to her friends, and trotted to the dirt path leading back into Ponyville.
"Hey party pants! I've got absolutely nothing to do tomorrow! Can I join you and Dash at the gym? I can bring drinks and spare towels!" Pinkie Pie sprung up to the Austrian Oak.
"Sure der Miss Pie! Aie don't see aneh harm with yew tagging aloung with us. Tell Miss Dashie to meet meh after ahm done aet Sweet Apple Acres. Be der on deh spaut!" Arnold playfully brushed Pinkie Pie's mane with his right hand. She giggled, and hopped off with Rarity after Applejack. Twilight and Arnold were the last ones to depart from Fluttershy's cottage. The Austrian Oak followed the brainy purple mare back to her book sanctuary while discussing a few things.
"So, um, Mr. Schwarzenegger? Did everything go well at the Carousel Boutique when you received your clothing?" Twilight trotted along with the towering bodybuilder.
"Yeah Miss Sparkle, everything over der went faine....So...uh...What kinda books are yew into if aie may ask?" Arnold quickly changed the subject to her interests.
"Oh, I love read about any subject I can get my hooves on! I generally love reading about magic if I had to choose one topic. Your going to love my extensive collection of library books that I have to offer. What kind of books do you like to read Mr. Schwarzenegger?" Twilight returned to Arnold.
"Well uh, Miss Sparkle, Aie generally love gathering new information about bodybuilding. Yew see, Aie believe dat deh body is just ahn reflection of deh mind. If yew have a stong body, it's aeh inner expression of yer collective well beings. Aie guess yew never heard deh philosophy 'deh strong bodeh equates to deh strong mind'. Ah've also contributed and written aeh few books on deh very basics of bodehbuilding in mai world. Mai latest book was a biographee called 'Todal Recall: Mai Unbelievable True Storeh.' Aie wish aie could give yew a copeh of mai works Miss Sparkle..."
Twilight Sparkle was blown away by Arnold's short speech. Never she would expect to meet a man with a equal balance of strength and intelligence in her lifetime. Evidence from Iron Will and Horsepower surely portrayed that hulking bodybuilders would lack intelligence. This wasn't the case for this unique individual. She felt honored to walk with an author who redefined the world of human bodybuilding, and has yet to preach countless new philosophies for everypony. As a result, it would only draw more attraction towards him.
"Wow Mr. Schwarzenegger! I had no idea that you did all that in your lifetime! The author of many books and original philosophies! Please make yourself at home in the Golden Oaks library. Speaking of which...We are finally here! Spike! Oh, Spike!" Twilight called up to the small purple dragon on the second floor. The baby dragon proceeded to wipe his eyes, due to his grogginess from such a long eventful day. He dragged his scaly feet towards the peak of the staircase. Once his vision cleared, he noticed the hulking bodybuilder at the doorway.
"....Uh....Twi? Do you mind if I have a word with you in private?" Spike urged Twilight to meet him at the top of the stairs.
"Sure thing Spike! Mr. Schwarzenegger, feel free to examine my extensive collection of books in the meantime."
"Will dew Miss Sparkle."
Twilight trotted to the upper floor of the library. She followed the small purple dragon to an area where their voices would not be heard.
"Uh....May I ask what he's doing here?" Spike pointed a stubby finger at the Austrian Oak, who was struggling trying to decipher unknown words from a random book.
"Oh, him? Well you see, he was having trouble getting along with Angel in Fluttershy's cottage. So I've decided to let him stay here for the time being! Isn't he marvelous Spike? I suppose I've forgot to tell you that he's the author of many books! He can also preach many decisive philosophies as well! Oh, Spike, he's absolutely the only thing that we need in our lives."
"Wait....He's what?!? Your telling me that he's staying with us? I guess you didn't hear what happened when he was over at Rare's place."
"What happened?" Twilight perked her head with curiosity.
"I'll get into details by tomorrow Twily. Right now, I'm going back to bed. I'd keep a close eye on him however..."
"Sure thing then! Goodnight Spike!" Twilight returned to the small purple dragon.
"Goodnight Twilight......." The small purple dragon dragged his feet back into bed. Twilight trotted down to the lower floor of the library, where Arnold proceeded to struggle with his selected random book.
"So....Mr. Schwarzenegger....How do you like my collection so far?" Twilight asked the hulking bodybuilder. The Austrian Oak was busy being dumbfounded by a series of unknown text in a book.
"Aie daugnt understand dis......How can yew ponehs speak English but wright in anoder langwich?" Arnold scratched his head furiously in frustration.
"I'm not entirely sure what you mean Mr. Schwarzenegger....." Twilight returned to the confused bodybuilder.
"WHAT EIS GOING AOUN HERE!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 8: Sweet Apple Nightmare
"Ehhhh....Alrighty deh Miss Sparkle. Aie will see yew tomorrow den." Arnold released an enormous yawn from such an eventful day.
The sapient purple mare prepared a bed consisting of books and a pillow on the lower floor of the library. Appearing to be somewhat uncomfortable and stiff, Arnold shrugged off the appearance and placed himself on the makeshift bed. His eyes slowly closed due to the cumbersome fatigue of the day. He was vast off into a deep sleep. The Austrian Oak would transcend into the realm of dreams, only to be greeted by an indistinct figure on the other side. The figure appeared to be no other than Celestia's misunderstood sister, Princess Luna.
"Huzzah! Thy lovely Austrian Bodybuilder has arrived! Thoust whom tamed the mighty Ursa Minor with his mighty strength and charming words! Tell me now brave Schwarzenegger, is thou existence in your world aisth lonely aisth I? Does thou seeketh refuge from misconception and misunderstanding?" The lunar mare projected to the bodybuilder with middle age dialect.
"Ahm sorreh Miss Woonah, but aie want tew get back with Mariah Shriver. Yew see, aie've did saum regretful things in mai past. Howeveh, dis vibrant colorful world presents a whole new opportunity fer meh. If aie were evah to return to mai world, how would mai society look at meh if aie married aeh poneh? It jaust doesn't seem right tew meh." Arnold returned to the night Princess. She was somewhat grief stricken from his words.
"....Nonsense, human! We shall make a majestic couple forever in Canterlot! I shall teach you the ways of immortality and eternal youth! Howth can one refuse such an offer? Share my throne with my sister, and we shall rule over Equestria for eons to cometh!" The Princess shouted with upmost pride. She slowly trotted towards the Austrian Oak, as the walls in the dreamscape closed in around them. Arnold backed away from the approaching mare. He released a cold sweat when his back made contact with an translucent wall.
"NAOUGH! WAIT WOONAH! YEW DON'T HAVE TO DO DIS! PLEASE RECONSIDER WHAT YER ABOUT TO DO!" Arnold panicked when Princess Luna placed her fore hooves on the wall behind him. There was no escape for the Austrian Oak now.
"PREPARE THY MOUTH FOR A ROYAL KISS MY SUBJECT!" Princess Luna shouted deafeningly in Arnold Schwarzenegger's ear. The dark blue snout of the nightly mare proceeded towards Arnold's lips. Just before she made contact with the human, the dreamscape shattered and collapsed around the two. The dawn of a new day beamed through the windows of the Golden Oaks Library. Arnold woke up with a cold sweat. Twilight appeared in front of the Austrian bodybuilder with a premade breakfast for him.
"Good morning Mr. Schwarzenegger! As you can see, I've managed to make breakfast for you!"
Twilight expressed a bright smile in front of the Austrian Oak, who appeared to be horrified by his previous lucid dream. The brainy mare misinterpreted his expression as distasteful.
"Wait a minute, is something wrong Mr. Schwarzenegger? Did I mess up your food arrangement? Oh no, I better check the book again!"
Twilight skimmed through the pages of her breakfast manual with uncertainty and discontent. After realizing that he was conscious and present inside the colorful pastel-world, Arnold emitted a slight yawn and stretched out his arms. He eased the tensile purple mare, who was busy skimming though the pages of her culinary book.
"Good moarning Twilight Sparkle. Don't worrieh, eit's naut yew food dat startled meh. Just had aeh lucid nightmare is aough."
"Phew, thank Celestia! So I suppose you didn't sleep well then? I'm sorry, was it the books that made you uncomfortable? I'll ask Princess Celestia for a mattress by tonight. Anyways, Applejack is waiting outside for you. Make sure you eat up for a busy day on the farm!" Twilight gleamed with a innocent but dorky persona. She levitated the food tray over Arnold's lap.
"Why does he get all the special treatment? When was the last time you've made breakfast for me Twilight?" Spike said with disgust without Arnold's discretion.
"Spike! Knock it off! Don't be rude to our only human house guest! He's an author and a philosophizer for Pete sakes! Not to mention he's kinda cute....." Twilight's eyes drift over to Arnold, who was busy cleaning himself off.
"But I thought you had a crush on Flash Sentry...." Spike raised a single eyebrow over to the star gazed purple mare.
"Yeah....But Flash Sentry has NOTHING over this intelligent beefcake! Besides, how many guys did you know back in that world who were as huge as him? Oh, he's perfect Spike. Think about it.....An author and a reader as a couple? Perhaps he entered this world for a specific purpose. Maybe he arrived here to complete us both....."
"Oh please Twilight, your species aren't even remotely the same for crying out loud! How can you possibly date somepony....uh.....someone like that?"
"I'll think of something along the way Spike....." Twilight brushed her chin with her fore hoof. She deliberately though of a plan to transform the Austrian Oak into one of her own. Spike paced over to the front door and opened it for the bodybuilder, who politely thanked Twilight for a satisfying meal. Applejack was propped up against the tree library on the outside. She returned to her normal stature after Spike closed the door behind them.
"Howdy there partner! Y'all ready for some hard work on Sweet Apple Acres farm? Ah guarantee the work will be a good ol' prep to the gym!" Applejack projected to Arnold with a strong southern accent.
"Yew bet yer orange southern flank dat ahm readeh! So, what's on deh agenda fer today?" Arnold asked. The two proceeded towards Sweet Apple Acres.
"Boy, do we got a lot of chores to do! Ah see that yer a mighty strong fellow with a good head on his shoulders, so can y'all help my brother lift a few things? Fall is right around the corner, so we gotta make sure the animal feed is in stock. Aile be buckin' a few trees in the meantime. Also, the barn can use a repaintin' before sundown. I'll let Applebloom assist you along the way." Applejack proposed the list of chores for Arnold.
"Alright Applejack, Aile help yew with a few things around deh fahm. No problemo'. " Arnold returned enthusiastically to Applejack.
"I like yer enthusiasm partner. With that kind of attitude, we should be done in no time."
The two followed a dirt pathway that eventually led to Sweet Apple Acres. Along the way, many mares and stallions in town cheered on Austrian Oak. Lyra and Bon Bon were present in the audience at the time being.
"Was he the one that you were bragging about Lyra? The one who tamed Ursa Minor with no spells whatsoever?" Bon Bon asked her best pony friend.
"Yep! He even gave me the opportunity to hitch a ride on his back! You see that? I told you that humans are real Bon Bon!" Lyra bounced like a school girl in the crowd of ponies. She shouted at the bodybuilder in amidst of the large congestion, but however her call out could not be heard.
After a good hour or so, the two finally arrived at the front gate of Sweet Apple Acres. Big Macintosh and Applebloom trotted towards the gate to meet the famed Austrian bodybuilder for themselves.
"Good mornin' sister. Ah'm glad that y'all made it in one piece. So this is the human that y'all been talkin' bout since last night's supper. Mornin' mister..." Big mac extended a polite greetings towards the bodybuilder.
"Oh wow! He sure is interestin' ain't he? The name's Applebloom mister! Ah gotta get the cutie mark crusaders over here to meet y'all later today. Heard you were a blank flank just like us! Maybe we can go on an adventure after we're done paintin'." Applebloom exclaimed with enthusiasm.
"Maybe lader, liddle one. We got to do our work first before play tiame. So, where dew we begin?" Arnold asked the Apple trio. Big mac proceeded to give instruction for the Austrian bodybuilder.
"Follow me, mister. Aile show y'all were the animal feed is on the farm. Applebloom, why don't you get the paint cans ready in the meantime? There gonna need stirring before you and this human here can apply the coats to the barn."
"Ahm on it big Brother!" Applebloom saluted her older brother, before taking off into the farm to fetch the paint cans. The trio departed for their assigned chores. Arnold followed intently on the left side of the big red stallion. As Big Mac pointed out where to place the animal feed sacks inside the barn, he demanded to have a word with the Austrian bodybuilder before going outside again.
"Now listen here Mister, ahm only gonna say this once to you. This isn't the first time that mah sister extended her hospitality for the opposite gender. If aile catch y'all foolin' around somewhere on the barn, so help me Celestia I'll buck yer shaved monkey flank beyond yonder. Do I make myself clear with you?" Big mac suddenly snapped at Arnold. The Austrian bodybuilder was caught off guard by his sudden request. However, he slowly nodded his head in agreement.
"Alright good. Now if ya follow me this way please....." Big mac urged the Austrian bodybuilder to follow him yet again.
Hours passed on by. The two assisted each other with handling the cumbersome sacks of animal feed. Each sack of feed weighted around 80 pounds. For the average man who didn't work out, that would be considerably exhausting for one day. In Arnold's case, it was just a prelude for the gym. Granny smith rang the dinner bell on the porch.
"Lunch's ready! Git it while it's hot!" She hollered towards the apple family.
The apple trio, along with Arnold, ceased their work on the farm and trotted to the front doorway of the farm house. The aroma of old fashioned southern cooking filled the air around them. Arnold's stomach growled due to the intensity of hard work for the day. They gathered around the dinner table and gave grace. Afterwards, it was time to feast.
Lunch consisted of mainly apple products from the farm itself. Food such as apple pie, apple crisp, apple fold overs and a apple-hay pecan salad. Luckily for the bodybuilder, the main course of the lunch was apple pizza, even though the other food deterred Arnold's appetite. They passed the food around the dinner table in a circular perimeter.
"Apple pizza? Who would have evah known?" Arnold commented on the unusual pizza, and decided to take a few slices for himself.
"Is somethin' wrong Sugarcube?" Applejack questioned across the table to Arnold.
"Nah, eit's nauthing Applejack. But daoght yew think it's kindeh redundant tew make everehthing out of apples? Why naught have saume varieteh?" Arnold returned to the southern mare.
"Oh we do partner. We get sick of the same old after awhile, but there's so much you can do with apples! After a hard day's work on the farm, any kind of meal is rewardin'. Our apples is what keeps the apple family goin' fer generations to come!" Applejack projected towards Arnold.
"Eeyup!" Big mac exclaimed briefly.
"Well aie gaut tew tell yew dat deh food hear is excellent. Thank yew Granny Smith foah such aeh satisfying meal." Arnold commented on Granny Smith's food preparation and meal.
"Awl, shucks youngin'. It's the least I can do for you." Granny smiled under her wrinkles.
"Now who's ready fer some more work on the farm? Big mac, can ya help Applebloom remove the lids fer the paint cans? Ah gotta have a word with Arnold in private." Applejack urged Arnold to follow her. Applebloom collected the dishes from around the table.
"Eeyup....." Big mac assisted in cleaning up the table. His eyes projected a nasty look over to Arnold.
"Now if y'all can folla me this way....." Applejack's emerald eyes drifted over to the Austrian bodybuilder. He abided to her request. They walked out of the farm house together. She gave the signal to meet her inside the barn. The two would be isolated alone from any outside contact. After entering the barn, the southern mare secured the front entrance with a wooden plank. Arnold examined the storage feed area inside the barn. Without his discretion, Applejack untied her wavy golden mane from behind him.
"So....Sugarcube.....Y'all single?" Applejack spoke in a calm seductive matter. Arnold turned around to respond to the southern mare, to witness her flowing golden mane around her shoulders. She carelessly threw her hat over to a nearby haystack. The Austrian bodybuilder silently gulped to himself.
"Aie......augh......ahm....." The Austrian Oak affixed his eyes on the beautiful southern mare. She walked over to the hulking bodybuilder in a bipedal fashion, so that her stature would meet his. Even though the mare was extremely attractive to him, he recounted Big Mac's warning.
"Applejack....dis eis a bad ideah....." Arnold trembled slightly. Applejack shoved the Austrian Oak onto a hay pile.
"Nah it ain't partner. Mah big brother has a bad habit of scaring off stallions that ah've been interestin' in. Y'all see, it can git very lonely on the farm...bein' in charge over the entire plantation and all....Yer a perfect candidate fer me. Now be quiet and let me do all the work...." Applejack trapped Arnold around her fore hooves. From a distance, the audible marching of hooves approached the front door of the barn. Applejack's lips neared Arnold's. Just before she made contact with him, the barred doorway of the barn crashed inwards with sheer force. The silhouette of a stallion stood at the doorway. He was infuriated by the sight that he witnessed.
"ARNOLD! WHAT DID I TELL YA! GET YER STINKIN' HAND OFF MAH SISTER!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 9: Asylum At The Gym
"Nao! Big Mac please! Dis eis naought wat eit seems! She came anto meh! Aie swear of eit!" Arnold trembled underneath Applejack, whose eyes were as wide as the grand canyon. Her state of shock quickly shifted into enmity at her big brother.
"Big Brother, ah ain't gonna let yew scare off another one! Ah need him more than anythin' in my life right now. Don't you lay a single hoof on him!" Applejack lifted herself up from the Austrian Oak. She turned to Arnold's defense, who was already in the process of formulating another escape plan.
"Ahm fed up with yer overprotective behavior around other males. This human here is a perfect match fer me. Lookit' how strong and helpful he is 'round the farm. We got done early today because of how beneficial he is. It's yer fault that ah can't have any counterparts 'cuz yew keep scarin' them away!" Applejack yelled at the top of her lungs. Big mac snorted back at the orange mare in return.
"Ah've told you sis', yew can't fool around unless you got a ring 'round yer hoof! All he's gonna do is attract unwanted attention for us at the apple farm! Ah heard 'bout the rumors back in town. How he's capable of bringin' down a Ursa Minor without magic. Ahm lookin' out fer yer best interest little sis. He's too dangerous fer your own good!" The red stallion stomped his front hoof on the ground. After the argument ceased for a brief moment, Applejack's eyes watered due to her brother's ignorance.
"How....How could y'all say such demeanin' things? Don't yew realize he's a once and only lifetime opportunity to better the Apple family? Don't you know how many folks would buy our products simply 'cuz he lived with us? Ah've saw a pure heart inside of him....not like them other noponies that Ah've went after in the past. Ah think mah reasoning speaks for itself...." Applejack sniffled slightly. Big Mac suddenly came into realization after her sister's words. He bowed his head in utter shame, due to his blind overprotective nature for his sister's wellbeing. He then rotted over to where the bodybuilder stood behind the orange mare.
"Ahm.....Ahm sorry mister. Guess ah got ah little carried away with mah actions. Would y'all ever find it in your heart to forgive me?" Big Mac lifted his head to meet Arnold's eyes. However, the bodybuilder was not present inside the barn. The back barn door slowly swayed open in the breeze.
"Gosh darn it! Ah don't blame him from runnin' away. Now ah gotta go chase him down again...."
Arnold sprinted to a grassy field with all of his stamina. After catching his breathe, he paused to think for a minute. Perhaps he would find asylum at the Ponyville gym. First, he would have to locate Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. His best bet was to follow the dirt path from Sweet Apple Acres back into Ponyville. While doing so, he could at least intercept Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash along the way. His subconscious told him to avoid Big Macintosh by all means.
The plan was set. He eventually found the same dirt path that led into Ponyville. From a distance, he saw two figures advancing slowly towards him. It was no other than Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, who were outfitted with sweat bands and gym clothing. The mares contained towels wrapped around their necks, and were accompanied with gym bags as well.
".....Augh....Thank goodness yoar hear......Saough....Yew ready for aie good workout?" Arnold caught his breathe. Dash raised her left eyebrow, while Pinkie snickered to herself.
"....Yeah, but what's up with you? And why aren't you at Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack? Did she beat you up with her hard work already?" Dash asked the exhausted bodybuilder.
"I've heard that her big brother likes to scare away stallions! Is that what happened to you Mr. Shickenwacken?" Pinkie Pie squealed with a upbeat demeanor.
"Ehhh....Aie rather naught talk about eit....So, are yew girls ready tew go tew dah gym?" Arnold regained his posture in front of the girls.
"Boy! Are we ever! Think you can out lift the great Rainbow Dash? Betcha can't even sprint as fast as me!" Rainbow Dash challenged the Austrian Oak. He remained unfazed by her boastful behavior, and playfully accepted the blue mare's challenge.
"Alrighty, yer aoun! I'll let yew gurls lead deh way to deh gym then."
So it was set. The two mares led the Austrian Oak to the local Ponyville gym. To Arnold, it was reminiscent to the gym back inside his mansion. Squat machines, benching bars, free weight dumbbells, electrical treadmills, and various other workout machines were present. Familiar faces like Roid Rage and Iron Will were busy bench pressing. It was a sight of relief for the Austrian Oak. He has longed for a good pump ever since he stepped afoot onto the grassy plains of Equestria. Finally, asylum for the legendary bodybuilder....Or was it?
"Hey Mr. Shickenwacken! Wanna join me on the treadmill with Rainbow Dash? We like to warm ourselves up before hitting the machines!" Pinkie Pie asked with a high pitched squeal.
"Agh....Shaure thing Miss Pinkeh. A liddle bit of cardio neveah hurted before a good paump." Arnold returned to the pink mare.
The three of them proceeded onto a set of parallel inclined treadmill machines. The dials that were present on the machine were retrofitted for hoof use. While scratching his head in frustration, Arnold asked for assistance from the upbeat Pink mare.
"Ugh, Pinkie Pie, howeh do aie use dis machine? I want it on deh low settings to get mai stamina going."
The pink mare avoided his request. She extended her hoof and adjusted the dials to her usual settings. Maximum speed with 100 percent incline. Arnold was unaware of this at the time being.
"Alright silly! Your machine is now ready to go!" Pinkie exclaimed with enthusiasm to the bodybuilder.
"Thank yew Pinkeh Pie.....Wait.....What eis going aoun?" Arnold's eyes widened with horror.
The treadmill belt gained momentum with every increasing second. Arnold grasped the side bars with sheer panic and dismay. Pinkie Pie playfully pranced and skipped on her corresponding machine. Rainbow Dash was hardly breaking a sweat on hers.
"AGGGGHHH! PINKEH! MAKE DIS TREADMIELL STAUP! AIE CANNAUT TAKE DIS ANY LONGAH!" Arnold shouted at the top of his lungs. It forced everypony inside the gym to cease their workout. Finally, Rainbow Dash unplugged the cord connected to the electrical outlet of his machine. The machine caused Arnold to recoil backwards and tumble into a rack of dumbbells. The bodybuilder emerged from the pile with a few minor cuts and bruises. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash paused their treadmill workout, to see if Arnold was alright.
"Pinkeh! Nevah touch mai machine evah again!" Arnold's head flared up with sheer anger. Pinkie's eyes suddenly watered, due to her misconception of Arnold's unprecedented rage. She rushed out of the gym with a steady stream of tears pouring down her pink snout.
"Wait! Pinkie Pie! He didn't mean that! Come back!" Rainbow Dash flew after Pinkie. In pure frustration, Arnold then charged from out the front doors of the gym. He flailed his arms to the air and released an outcry reminiscent to Kindergarten Cop.
"GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 10: Exercise With A Pegasi
After Arnie cooled down from his previous outburst, Rainbow Dash reappeared at the front of the gym to meet up with the bodybuilder. The two athletes proceeded into the free weight area, where they resumed their usual workout routine. After returning to their retrospective treadmill machines, Rainbow Dash informed Arnold Schwarzenegger about Pinkie Pie's status.
"That was not cool, Mr. Schwarzenegger. I think you owe Pinkie Pie an apology after we're done working out here." Dash spoke sincerly to Arnie, while she supported herself on the treadmills handle bars.
"Yeaugh, Aie knoe Dashie. Mai rage was definitively uncaughed faur at deh tiame being. Yew see, She waus gettehing auon mai nerves, aend aie couldn't control maiself wen she sped up mai macheen. Aie whell make eit a prioritee tew apologuize tew her after we aeur done aour exercising." Arnold returned to the blue pegasi.
The two finished their cardio routine after 30 minutes of steady running. Arnold made it a priority to work out for at least four hours during his workout session. The goal was to hit his core muscles all in one day. He was going to pump his biceps, chest, legs, and abs during his session with Rainbow Dash. After his cardio routine was over, the Austrian Oak departed from the treadmill. He proceeded to warm up his arms and chest with free weight dumbbells on a flat bench. Rainbow Dash followed to replicate his workout routine.
"So tough guy, what kind of free dumbbell weight do you normally warm up with?" The blue pegasi asked the human bodybuilder with a boastful tone of voice. She trots over to the dumbbell rack intently, and returns to a open bench with an unusual mechanical dumbbell.
"Aie usually waurm up with deh 20 poaund free weight dumbbells. Den aie like to waurm up mai pectorals with free weight bench pressing. Evereh thing after dat, Aie just do randam muscle groupings." Arnold returned to the pegasi with a grin. He slouched slightly forward on his bench with a pair of 20 pound dumbbells. Rainbow Dash expressed a slight smirk and a new challenge to the human bodybuilder.
"Oh yeah? That warm up is nothing in comparison to what I do! Ever try out a Pegasi Rattle Weight before? It gives you an awesome adrenaline boost before lifting heavy weights. Why don't you come over here and try it out for yourself? That's only if you can handle it of course!" Rainbow Dash boasted aloud. Arnold failed to take the situation seriously.
"Yeuahghaghahaha! Aeur yew telling meh dat yew ponehs have shake weights? What in deh world is dat exercise supposed to do? Chaum aoun, daugn't be ridiculous..."
"Hey now! The Pegasi Rattle Weight is constructed for only top tier Wonderbolts who are strong enough to handle it! This weight is a great warm up precursor for your wings before flying! Let the dumbbell speak for itself, tough guy. Once you give it a go, you'll definitely change your mind." Rainbow Dash boasted to Arnold with confidence.
"Alrighteh den Dash. Whadevah yew say..." Arnold returned to the blue mare in disbelief. She heaves the mechanical weight with her wings over to Arnold's hand. The Austrian Oak's self confidence was short lived, however. Arnold nearly topples over his flat bench due to the weight.
"Pfffffff hahahaha!" Dash loses balance and cries aloud with laughter. The Austrian bodybuilder proceeds to use all of his strength to lift the mechanical dumbbell in front of him. He catches his breathe in the process.
"Gaugh! What eis dis thing made aout awf? Saulid lead aour something?"
The blue pegasi regains her composure and wipes the tears of laughter from her face. She returns on her flat bench shortly after.
"So naough dat aie managed to lift dis thing, how do aie use eit?" Arnold asks with a straight face.
"It's really simple tough guy. All that you need to do is grab the handle of the dumbbell, and shake it with the force of your bodyweight's momentum. I have to warn you though. Once it get's going, you gotta keep on top of it. If you lose control over the dumbbell, expect something along the lines of that recent dramatic Pinkie Pie episode. Just start rattling it in your hands and you'll get the hang of it." Rainbow dash explained to Arnold.
"Alrightdeh den. Aet least yew took deh tiame to explain everehthing properly."
Dash kick starts the dumbbell with a simple flick of a switch. The human bodybuilder erects his chest outwards and braces himself in front of the gym mirror wall. As the dumbbell progresses with slow momentum, the Austrian Oak exchanges a goofy grin over to his blue workout buddy. She returns with a slight blush and a innocent smile.
"Hey Dasheh, dis eisn't sao bad awfter awl. Eit feeh's like aie have full control over dis waurm ap. Aie gaut to.....Wait aie minenute, what eis goaing aoun nao?" Arnold begins to slowly panic once again.
"What? Can't handle the extreme vibrations tough guy?" Dash starts to snicker to herself.
"AGH! HEAULP! DASHEH! AIE AHM LOSING COMPLETE CAUNTRAUL!" Arnold violently shakes with the Pegasi Rattle Weight at full momentum. The human bodybuilder starts to spin in a uncontrollable circular formation, while barely grasping the end of the dumbbell with his muscular hands. He finally releases the weight out of a nearby window. It soars off into the atmosphere and crashes in the town market of Ponyville. Terrified screams can be heard in the distance. Dash blushes in embarrassment shortly after.
"Alright. That was a bad idea after all. Let's see what workouts your into tough guy."
"Yeaugh, enough foolehing awround. Let meh proceed with mai 20 paound dumbbells." Arnold returned.
The Austrian Oak proceeded to curl a single 20 pound free weight dumbbell for about 15 reps. Afterwards, He alternates to do the same amount of reps for his opposite arm. Dash replicates his free weight and curls for about three times. However, she struggles profusely to curl the dumbbell on her forth rep.
"Dasheh, Dasheh. Caum aoun, Staup eit. Yew are going tew heaveh on yaour first set. Yer jaust a gurl for goodness sakes. Dis eis still mai warm aup period." Arnold proceeds to take the weight out of her curled hoof. Dash snaps back in stubborn retaliation.
"Hey, quit it! It's not that heavy tough guy! I can do the same weights as you can. As a matter of fact, I think this is too light for my starting weight!" Dash attempts to impress Arnold. She proceeds to suppress her struggling with a fake curl. The bodybuilder shakes his head in disbelief. He then squats down to the pegasi's level with a stern look.
"Listen tew meh vereh carefully Dasheh. Throw dat arrogance and stubbaouness out deh window, aloung with dat mauronic shake weight. Aie like yaour fiesteh determination and sheer loyaleteh, so hear meh aout on what ahm about tew say. Aie ahm willing to haulp yew, but yew maust be willing tew listen as well. Yew can proceed to waurk aout and attempt do mai weights, but aie garentee anehbodeh will fail in deh process. Howevah, Aie ahm willing to staup mai workout routeen anehtaime to help yew out along deh way. Naough, can aie assist yew with yer workout, and point aout what yaour doing wroung? Aour will yew continue to fail aet curling mai weight?" Arnold asked the blue pegasi.
Instead of responding with more retaliation, Dash thought to herself for a moment. She was gifted in endurance and flying, but wanted to improve herself in the strength department. This human bodybuilder obviously knew what he was doing. For all of the times she was humiliated at the Wonderbolt's gym by her formal colleagues, it was time she excelled with her strength exercises.
"Look.....I'm sorry. Your right Mr. Schwarzenegger. I was just trying to impress you by lifting with your weight. I've never had someone correct me properly with my exercises at the gym before. All that I want to do is build up my strength, but nopony was there to coach me on what I was doing wrong. Can....Can you show me what I'm doing wrong?" Dash diverted her eyes with embarrassment, while recollecting her past humiliation at the Wonderbolts Academy.
"Yes Dasheh, I will halp yew with yer exercises. Don't feel bad and worreh, Aie had no ideah what aie was doing when aie first started. Aie took mai self ego and threw eit aout deh door. There were maneh helpful folks who corrected meh on mai exercises just because aie asked questions. Aie gaut dem answered immediately due to mai determination and eagerness tew learn." Arnold expressed yet another goofy smile to his blue pegasi gym partner.
The blue pegasi returned to Arnold with an upbeat smile. Never in her life did she have a willing gym partner to take the time out for her. Someone who was present to assist and correct her with her strength exercises. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy would occasionally tag along, but were never serious about commitment to the local Ponyville gym. For many years, Dash repeated the same routine and wondered why her strength never improved. She would attempt to improve herself by increasing her weights, but would cheat by exercising with improper form. On the occasional dumbbell curl, she would cheat by supporting her other arm with her hoof. All of this information about her past was recounted to the human bodybuilder.
"Hey, saumtiames aie would cheat when aie lift as well Dasheh. That's only when aie ahm auon mai absolutely exhausting last rep. Eit's okaeh to cheat when yew want to really paush yerself to deh limits. Howevah, we arour naut going to do dat with yew. Let's start with deh basics and work aourselves fraum there..."
They assisted each other with their various exercises. Everything from benching and pull ups, to more advanced exercises like stiff legged deadlifts and side lateral raises. This intrigued the blue pegasi. She was hitting muscle groups that she has never felt before. Arnold decided to end the day with a few tricep pull downs on a cable machine.
"Hey tough guy, mind if I jump in for a few reps?" Dash took a few sips from her water bottle, and placed it near the weights of the pulley machine.
"Naough, naut aet awl. Aile even show yew hao to use dis machine properly. First auof, step in front of meh and grab deh pulley bar." Arnold scooted a few feet away from the machine, and invited Rainbow Dash to get in front of him.
"So.....like this?" Dash grasped the bar while standing in a bipedal fashion. She intentionally allowed the human bodybuilder to get behind her, and correct her properly based on her bipedal form. Her back pressed onto the broad chest of the human bodybuilder with her wings tucked inwards.
"Auogh.....Yeah. Like dat Dasheh. Naough, extend your ahrms downward and slowly release the bar to the base of yaour chest." Arnold slightly gulped to himself.
"Is this right?" Dash extended her plot slightly outwards to Arnold's private region. She released the bar while slowing moving her plot inwards. He started to tremble slightly to himself after feeling the mare's heat. Her magenta eye's met with his after the exercise was finished.
"Yeaugh......agh.......about dat apologeh. Let's gao tew Pinkeh Pie's place, shall we?"
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 11: Pinkie Pie's Choppa
"Pinkeh Pieh, awer yew there?"
The Austrian Oak scratched his head, while slowly pushing the creaking door to Pinkie Pie's residence. The interior of Sugarcube Corner was dark and barren. A faint whimpering could be heard from inside. Rainbow Dash decided to tag along behind the Austrian Oak for safe measures. She was concerned about the mental status of her pink mare friend. Suddenly, the door slammed behind the two. A faint, unusual odor pieced the air around them. They were now totally isolated in the dark. Dash clung onto Arnold's bulging right bicep in fear. The two suddenly felt light headed and woozy. They eventually passed out onto the floor.
Dash and Arnold regained consciousness on two parallel metal tables. Bonded and tied down, they exchanged glances of confusion and fear amongst each other. A single light bulb swayed carelessly above their heads. They were trapped inside a cold, damp cellar. Arnold and Dash attempted to untie the leather straps around their forearms and ankles, but it was to no avail. The wheels of a metallic utility table screeched closer to their position. It was accompanied by a shadow of a bipedal silhouette, who turned out to be no other than Pinkie Pie herself.
She expressed a very perturbed and disgruntled expression. Her hair flowed down around her shoulders in a straight matter. A white sheet over the metallic cart masked various medical tools. Dash and Arnold trembled profusely. The Pink mare returned at the two with a blank, emotionless expression. She then walked over to the metallic table, and ripped off the white sheet to expose various surgical equipment. This caused Dash to cry in fear to herself, while Arnold mustered up enough courage to speak up.
"Pinkeh, Please...daught do dis! Aie ahm sorreh for making yew cry and raun out of deh gym. Look, Aile make it aup to yew in saome way or anoder. We daought have tew speak about dis, right Dasheh?" Arnold asked over to Dash, while trembling and sweating under his leather straps. Dash returned with a nod and a slight whimper.
All of a sudden, the Pink Mare's hair sprung to it's original curly status. She gazed at the two with a confused expression.
"What's wrong with you two? I just wanted to show you my new medical stuff! You sillies, what did you think I was going to do?" Pinkie's voice squealed with upbeat joy.
"Eh....Nothing Pinkie." Dash returned with a sigh of relief.
"Whai are weh tied dauon onto dese medal tables den?" Arnold asked the pink mare directly.
"You silly! I forgot an important ingredient for my famous cupcake recipes! When I returned from the Ponyville Marketplace, I smelled a gas leak from inside Sugarcube Corner. I turned on the lights and found you two passed out on the floor! So, I ran in and moved you two to Sugarcube Corner's cellar. There's a nice supply of fresh air and ventilation down here. I thought it would be fun if I surprised you two with this medical lingo. Here, I'll untie you from the patient tables! No worries!"
Pinkie pie pranced over to the metallic tables and undid the leather braces. Arnold and Dash exchanged glanced of relief amongst one another. After they regained their postures from the table, Pinkie Pie continued on with more of her rambling.
"Oh, Oh! I wanted to show you something pretty cool Mr. Swhickenwacken! Here, I flew it over here while I was waiting for you guys to wake up! It was so boring waiting in that cellar!" Pinkie Pie whined a little.
The two adjusted their eyes as they exited from the underground staircase. There before them, stood Pinkie Pie's flying machine. Pinkie Pie then turned over to Arnold for a brief moment.
"Do you like my flying machine contraption Mr. Swhickenwacken? They call it a helicopter, right?" Pinkie's eyes lid up with pride.
"Miss Pinkeh, Howeh do yew knaogh what a Choppa is?" Arnold returned to the Pink Mare.
"Oh, I saw it in one of your movies. I forgot where I saw it from, but I remember that scene where you teach that nasty alien bully a good hearted lesson! He was awfully mean to your jungle squad after all..." Pinkie squeaked with glee. Arnold was completely speechless.
".....WHAT? HOWEH DID YEW KNOW ABOUT MAI MOVEHS?" Arnold's mind was completely blown. This pink mare somehow had insight on his movies back from his realm. He tried to comprehend what he just heard with his own ears.
"Just a random vision I guess!" Pinkie returned innocently. Dash glanced at the two, but shrugged to herself. She began to speak afterwards.
"...Anyways, I'll see you guys later. But before I go, I have one last thing to say. Arnold, I want a private tutoring lesson later on this week from you. You got that big guy?" Dash demanded with a slight blush.
"...Yeaugh...I gaut that Dasheh...." Arnold responded with his mind still in a state of confusion.
Dash prepared her wings for flight, and took off back to her cloud home. Arnold then snapped out of his trance after Dash's departure created a small shockwave. Pinkie then sprung over to Arnold with a proposal.
"Want to give it a go?" She smiled to him. Arnold glanced over the flying machine, and then shrugged to himself.
"Shaure, Whai naought? Whaut harm can beh daune?"
Pinkie Pie then went on a series of explanations on how to operate the machine. She went into full detail on how to pedal the machine, how to turn and steer with the controls, and how to navigate though any strong wind currents.
"It's that simple silly. Once you get the feel for it, it'll become second nature to you. Just wait here, I'll get my second flying machine. Follow me after your off the ground and everything will be ok!" Pinkie squealed.
"Alrighdeh den, jaust let meh get aoun...." Arnold squeezed his massive size onto the compact machine. He was forced to learn down and operate the lower pedals with his knees. The upper pedals would be controlled by his hands. All in all, the machine was a very awkward fit for the massive bodybuilder.
When Pinkie returned with a exact replica of the machine Arnie had, the bodybuilder started to crank the pedals in synchronization. It was one of the most intensive cardio workouts he has ever experienced. Once he nailed the momentum down, the two were off the ground.
"Follow me Mr. Swhichenwacken! I'll give you a tour of Ponyville from bird's eye view!" Pinkie screamed over to the Austrian Oak. The two flew around the famous land marks of the land. Pinkie pointed and hollered over the noise of the machines. The bodybuilder started to experience the fatigue from the intensive pedaling.
A few hours have passed, and Arnold was on his last breathe. The sun started to set on the horizon.
"Pinkeh, please.....Aie need a break from dis choppa...." Arnold panted vigously. The two flying machines were now parallel to each other.
"But your the one who wanted to fly on this machine, silly!" Pinkie giggled, and continued to speak to the bodybuilder.
"We'll rest on that grassy null for a bit. It looks safe to land there for now."
The two made a soft landing on the grassy patch of land. Arnold nearly collapsed once he got off his machine. After a few moments later, Arnold gathered his senses and looked around. They were near the outskirts of the Everfree Forest. Pinkie giggled once again with a few more things to say.
"I used to giggle at the ghosties in the Everfree Forest. My friends and I were on a mission for the Elements of Harmony. Those monsters are nothing to be afraid of. You see, that's probably one over there!" Pinkie Pointed her hoof at a single dark shadow. The shadows emerged from the dark, with glowing green eyes affixed on the two. The eyes then multiplied to a series of descending figures. Pinkie squinted, and then gasped aloud.
"AGH, THOSE AREN'T GHOSTIES! THEY'RE TIMBERWOLVES!"
Arnold panicked. After thinking for a split second, he glanced back at the flying machines. He then proceeded over to the pink mare and proceed to shout.
"RAUN, GO! GET TO DA CHOPPA!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 12: A Long Journey Home
"WEEEE! LET'S GO!"
Pinkie squealed with laughter. The unlikely pairing sprinted back to their flying machines, with the timber wolves hastily closing in after them. Pinkie Pie and Arnold pedaled their machines with sheer intensity. A few timber wolves managed to cling onto the candy cane bars of the flying contraption. The Austrian Bodybuilder managed to kick a few wolves from his chopper, while Pinkie Pie exercised her basic flight maneuvers to shake off her wooden nuisances. Remnants of the wolves crash landed into the other packs of timber wolves, thus creating a massive pile of disorderly wood.
"I've never experienced so much thrill like that before! Let's head back to the Sugarcube Corner to rest for awhile. How does that sound, silly?" Pinkie Pie shouted over the sound of her chopper propellers.
"Nauh, Aie can't pinkeh. Aie'm gonna crash over aet Twilight's place faur tonight. We can do moar faun things tomorrow."
"Suit yourself Silly! Alright, we're almost there! Land the flying machine over on the left side of the building. I'll be waiting for some more adventures with you tomorrow then!"
After the two successfully performed a soft landing, Arnold departed from his flying contraption and waved at the pink mare. Pinkie Pie winked back at the human bodybuilder in return. It slightly caught the Austrian Oak off guard. The pink mare then disappeared into the dimly lit doorway of Sugarcube Corner. A thick blanket of dusk was now present over mellow town of Ponyville. Every pony resident was now settling down inside their dimly lit homes. Arnold proceeded to head back to the Golden Oaks Library. He was the only living creature outside at the time being. His footsteps echoed on the quiet streets of the town market. Suddenly, a single thought dawned onto him.
"Whai do all t'ese Ponehs want to bang meh? Eis it because all of deh Stallions are aie bauch of girly mans? Aeur dey in season? Eh, Whatevah. Aie daunt get eit." Arnold thought to himself.
The human bodybuilder neared the tree library. He proceeded to push the front wooden doorway open, only to discover the purple brainy mare organizing a few books on an upper floor bookshelf. She proceeded down her ladder to greet the human bodybuilder at the doorway.
"Hey! How was your workout session with Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash?" The brainy purple unicorn asked.
"It starded aout good, but deh escalated ento a catastrophe. At dey end of the dai everehthing was thankfully resolved." Arnold returned to Twilight.
"How was it a catastrophe if I may ask?" The purple mare cocked her head in curiosity.
"Well, Pinkie Pie did saum adjustments to mai machine. Aie laust control....and deh everything spiraled downhill fraum der. But like aie said, everehthing turned aout to be alright at the end of deh day."
"Well, I'm glad to hear that you had a fruitful day! I was busy practicing different spells from the library's archives. Would you help assist me in one spell?" Twilight proposed innocently. Arnold was totally unaware of her devious plans at the time being.
"Shaure! Was eis eit dat yew need meh to dew?"
"Excellent! I'm going to require you to stand in the middle of this white pentagram on the floor. It should only take a few moments of your time to conduct the spell sufficiently. Just sit in the center and everything should be just fine...."
Arnold thought to himself for a brief moment, and carelessly shrugged off any doubts in his mind. He trusted her fluent capabilities of sophisticated arcane magic. After all, she was Celestia's top ranking student. What could possibly go wrong in a ritual?
Twilight Sparkle began to speak in a unfamiliar tongue. She levitated a peculiar black spell book in front of her while doing so. The windows and doors inside the Golden Oaks Library began to rattle and vibrate. Books were unhinged from the shelves, and flew to the floor with sheer intensity. Spike ran into the front doorway in panic, screaming at the top of his lungs to cease the ritual.
"Twilight! Stop! I gave you the wrong spell book! That book isn't for love bonding with another partner, IT'S A SATYR TRANSFORMATION BOOK!"
Spike's voice was drowned by the violent calamity occurring inside the library. Books uplifted from the floor, and flew around the interior of the library within a circular formation. Flashes of light and thunderous booms emitted from the interior of the pentagram. One final roar was unleashed from the pentagram, and then the compelling ritual ceased. Everything came to a sudden standstill within the library. The ritual was finally over.
There in the middle of the pentagram, laid a transformed body builder named Arnold Schwarzenegger. The ritual sapped him from all his energy. He slept in the middle of the Golden Oaks Library peacefully. However, Spike and Twilight's expressions weren't so content.
"Perhaps we should wake him up?" Twilight proposed to Spike.
"....Forget it Twi. This is your mess, not mine. Just be prepared for retaliation tomorrow morning..."
The sun rose on the horizon the very next day. Birds chirped and conversed with one another. The morning commute ponies were out and about. Derpy delivered her mail, merchants set up their shops, everypony greeted one another, and a loud penetrating scream erupted from the interior of the Golden Oaks Library.
"AGGGHHHH! WHAT DEH HELL HAPPENED TO MAI LEGS! WHERE DID DEY GO! TWILIGHT! SPIKE! WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!"
Arnold woke up in a state of panic. He threw off the sheets from his horse legs and tumbled backwards into a bookshelf. The Austrian Oak was not used to his new horse legs, so he lost balance and collapsed to the ground. Twilight and Spike appeared in front of him, both sharing and expressing a nervous grin.
".....Good morning Arnold. As you can see....I messed up on the ritual last night....But don't worry, I was up all last night searching for a solution. It's going to take time reversing the spell, but it can be done..."
Spike then proceeded to speak after Twilight.
"....It was kinda my fault as well just to let you know....I gave her the wrong spell book and....."
"WAIT! Doen't sai anehmore. Aie jaust want to know one thing...What was dat ritual supposed to achieve? Tell me deh truth liddle purple dragon or aile crush yer head like a ripe wadermelon!" Arnold threatened Twilight's assistant.
The truth came out of the purple mare's mouth shortly after.
"It was supposed to be a love spell you see....."
"AIE LOVE SPELL? TWILIGHT! WHAT DEH HELL! AHM AIE MARRIED MAN FER GOODNESS SAKES! ALL DAT AIE WANTED WAS A BREAK, AND NAOUGH ALL DESE PONIES WANT TO BANG MEH? AIE CAN'T TAKE EIT ANEHMOAR!" Arnold hollered at the top of his lungs.
He regained his balance on his newly acquired horse legs, and took off out of the front door. Twilight and Spike chased after him. Little to their knowledge at the time being, the Mane 5 were all anticipating for Arnold's awakening by the front door of the tree library. They decided to trail behind Twilight and Spike, wondering why Arnold was fleeing from the two.
"Twilight, what in tarnation is going on? Ah could've used him on the farm this mornin'! You better do some hefty explainin' on why we just did a wild goose chase after him!" Applejack snapped at Twilight. The rest of her friends circled around her in curiosity. After Twilight told her side of the story and admitted to her love for Arnold, her friends snapped in retaliation.
"WHAT? Excuse me darling, but that human was sincerely interested in me! Can't you all realize that we made the perfect couple? He's like a marvelous gem and a true companion, where so many stallions in Equestria lack manly features..."
This statement caused Spike's head to flare up like a volcano. Visible steam was erupting from the side of his ears. The little purple dragon lost his cool and flipped out on Rarity.
"WHAT DO YOU SEE IN HIM! HUH? TELL ME RIGHT NOW YOU STUCK UP MULE!"
This statement caused Rarity's eyes to water. Instead of crying however, she held her tears back and decided to snap at the little purple dragon.
"SPIKEY WIKEY! DON'T YOU EVER REFER TO ME IN SUCH A HORRID MATTER! I DEMAND AN APOLOGY RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" Rarity stomped her hooves into the ground.
"He's got a point, Rare. Ah know that you two have been spendin' an awful long time together. Apple bloom told me that Sweetie Belle saw a bunch of broken glass outside yer window. Told me that he ran away from yew. What y'all fail to realize is that mighty hunk of muscle belongs on the Apple farm. He's a real workin' horse, but that's about it to me..."
Rainbow Dash intervenes with her own furious statement. The tension between the Mane 6 was now becoming visible.
"Oh yeah? That's not what your brother told me you filthy liar! He told me that he caught you two on a hay bale! Also, he said that he fled from the scene. That explains why he was in such a panicked state when Pinkie and I met him on the road to Sweet Apple Acres. Maybe he's just not into your type Applejack! He should stick with the awesome mares like me!"
Pinkie Pie hollered with her own statement in front of everypony.
"I WANT HIM FOR MORE FUN! YOU LAMEBRAINS ARE BORING!" Pinkie pie whined in front of her friends. Fluttershy was the last to silently speak. No one can hear her talk in amidst of all the exchanged yelling. She went on her own little tangent of why Arnold should be with her.
"Um....he's really good with my animal friends....And let's see, he's good at taking care of my bunny Angel...Well...Maybe not....Also....."
Back in Arnold's world, the Austrian Bodybuilder took refuge underneath a stony bridge. He had to clear his head and formulate his ultimate plan. A plan that would get him back home to his realm. However, who could he ask? And better yet, who could he trust?
He figured that Princess Celestia would be his best bet. So he stumbled with his new horse legs all the way over to Canterlot. The Royal Guards permitted him access to speak to the sun princess, persuading him it was of a dire emergency. Princess Celestia and her sister Luna sat in adjacent thrones in front of the bodybuilder.
"Excuse meh Princess Celestia, but yer faithful student Twilight Sparkel transformed meh into aie satyr abomination. Would yew please transform meh back to normal? Maybeh get me back to mai home realm as well?"
The sun princess eyed over the newly transformed bodybuilder. She liked what she saw, and silently whispered something into her sister's ear. She grinned and nodded back to her faithful sister. Princess Celestia began to speak aloud.
"Arnold, I'm afraid that there is nothing that I can do about your transformation. However, why don't you stay for dinner tonight? Your newly transformation is something you should be proud of. I shall hold a magnificent feast for everypony in Ponyville. You shall also share a VIP slot next to us this royal evening. Please do not resist our offer..."
"AGH! DIS EIS AIE HOPELESS WAR! AIE AHM AFTER TRIXIE! YEW PRINCESSES ARE USELESS TEW ME!"
Princess Luna was outraged by Arnold's statement. She boomed with a mighty voice.
"HOW DARE YOU SPEAKTH OF SUCH FOWL STATEMENTS! GUARDS! AFTER HIM!"
The royal guards invigorated with life from their posts. They charged after Arnold with spears pointed directly at him. The Austrian satyr bodybuilder had no other choice but to flee. He took refuge under the same stone bridge from earlier before. Just when he thought that all hope was lost, he heard the unfamiliar sounds of a wooden wagon. The wagon puller turned out to be no other than Trixie herself.
"Trixie! Please, aie need yer help. Celestia's guard aer going after meh, and deh Mane 6 aer going tew destroy demselves over meh! Aie could really use yer halp right nao." Arnold panicked to the blue unicorn. After Trixie cocked an eyebrow over the Austrian satyr bodybuilder, she told him to take refuge inside her wagon. With no other alternatives for him at the time being, he was forced to abide.
"So, what happened to your legs?" Trixie questioned back at Arnold inside the station wagon. The wooden wheels began to gain momentum.
"Agh, eit was horrible Trixie! Furst, Twilight began tew develop aie love interest fer meh. Dehn eit was Appeljack, den Fluttershai, deh Rareteh, and deh list goes aoun. Twilight even tricked meh into going to aie ritual. Aie was gullible enough to believe in har magical capabilities. She transformed meh into aie satyr abomination! Aie realleh need someponeh dat aie can trust. Please.....halp me!" Arnold pleaded back to the blue unicorn mare.
"Let's see what the great and powerful....great and humbled Trixie can do for you. Let us make ways to Zecora's hut. It might take us awhile, but I am sure that she could help you in your situation. I expect no payment from you, since you are one of Trixie's greatest friends. You can thank me later."
It took most of the day traversing across Ponyville to get to Zecora's hut. Zecora was bust brewing up a mystical potion inside her humbled home. Trixie approached the door and explained Arnold's situation to the zebra. She nodded her head and called for the Austrian Oak. Arnold uncovered himself from hiding and entered inside the mysterious hut. He would never be seen by any citizen of Ponyville ever again.
"The journey back to your home, will be an experience of seldom. We must help Arnold get back to his realm before they come after you Trixie. I will conjure a portal that should rid of your legs. Enter it and you will never have to beg."
"Alrighteh den, what do aie dew?" Arnold asked the enigmatic zebra.
"I only ask for complete silence and uninterrupted concentration. A portal shall merge from the water and the evaporation. Step into it if you want to proceed home. If not, the ponies will soon figure out that your cover here is blown."
Trixie stood on guard by the open doorway of the hut. Zecora sat erected on her tail, and began to chant in a foreign language. Arnold looked out from the window of the hut, only to see Princess Celestia and the Mane 6 closing in on their position. While the mysterious zebra could not be interrupted, Arnold began to panic. He informed Trixie to create a diversion for the search party. Shorty after, the portal materialized back to his realm before his eyes. The diversion proved to be unnecessary.
"Befoar aie leave dis realm, I just waunt to thank yew for everehthing Trixie. Yew truly aeur a friend tew Ahnuld. Aie well neva forget yew. No madder how life can put yew daough, just keep in mind dat you have a real friend out der."
This statement caused Trixie's eyes to water. She slightly sniffled to herself. The blue unicorn mare placed her blue hoof on Arnold hand before he departed. Arnold stepped into the portal, and released Trixie's hoof before leaving. The portal inside the hut vanished out of view. The Austrian Oak was now safely back inside his home realm. Celestia and the Mane 6 stormed inside the hut shortly after. Zecora informed them with one final line.
"The human you search for is no longer here. Any attempts to bring him back are no longer clear....."
The Mane 6 exchanged expressions of disappointment. They sighed in defeat, and thoroughly apologized for their hostile actions against one another. They returned home with their heads bowed in shame. Princess Celestia returned to the kingdom and informed the news to her sister. Later that night, she appeared on her balcony and gazed at the expansive night sky. Before she departed for sleep, she made one last promise to herself. One last phrase before this story has reached it's final conclusion.
"He will be back."
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
Chapter 1: Arnie's Glorious Comeback
"Maria! Where are deh keys to mai hummer! I need to get to the production set for Terminader 5! TELL ME WHERE YOU PUT DEM!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger exclaims in a thick Austrian accent towards his wife. He knocks over expensive chinaware from the kitchen counter, while his neck vein pulsates with anger with every passing second. Arnold was a pretty humble man for a retired bodybuilder, but his patience grew thin whenever Maria misplaced his keys for his hummer. Especially for an important event such as the production of 'Terminator 5: Ascension of the T1000'.
"Arnold! Don't raise your voice at me, you useless piece of trash! I will divorce you once again! I really mean it this time! You can share this mansion with your housemaid until death do us part!" Maria snapped back at Arnold.
Ever since the affair with the housemaid broke out in the public, Maria Shriver would use this argument against the famed Austrian legend to his dismay. It tore him up inside, as he could not escape his many affairs from the past. However, everyone in Hollywood knew about his secret. The Paparazzi's would disturb him every time he would step afoot in the outside world. He would be constantly bombarded with questions about his previous affairs with the housemaid. But today, Arnie was fed up with it. Something had to give.
After destroying many expensive household items to find his keys, he stepped out from the front door of his mansion. Like a predator stalking it's prey in the wild, a horde of Paparazzi's sprung up from the shrubbery, and ambushed Arnold with many questions.
"Mr. Schwarzenegger, is it true that you and Maria are back together? How is the housemaid with the kid doing? Will Maria ever forgive you for cheating on her? MR. SCHWARZENEGGER!" A single Paparazzi shoved his microphone directly in Arnold's face. This is where Arnold's true colors where shown.
"YEW STOOPID PAPARAZZI! I"M GOING TO CRUSH YOU!" Arnold's head flared up like a erupting volcano. The presence of Paparazzi's scurried away, due to the unprecedented rage expressed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. They dropped their microphones and sprinted as fast as they could. The single Paparazzi, who was thickheaded and stubborn enough to ask such a bold series of questions, shook in his shoes as the massive silhouette of Arnold towered over him.
"Any last word's before aie end yor miserable existence?" Arnold's massive hand clutched the Paparazzi's flannel shirt. The Paparazzi released a cold sweat and unconditionally shook his head. Even through his unparalleled strength diminished with age, he managed to throw the arrogant Paparazzi towards a nearby bush. The paparazzi started an abundant nest of aggressive African hornets. Arnold laughed with a thick Austrian accent, as the Paparazzi sprinted like a frightened girly man. He drove in his hummer to the production set of Terminator 5.
There was a side of Arnold that he kept hidden from the public's curious eye. Mr. Schwarzenegger contained a deep, dark secret that even Maria Shriver wasn't aware of at the time. While going though his son's room, he uncovered Patrick Schwarzenegger's collection of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic DVD's under a pillow case. Instead of discarding the DVD's in the trashcan, Arnold's curiosity overwhelmed him. He decided to pop in one DVD just for the heck of it. After completing Part 1 and Part 2 of the first season, Arnold exclaimed aloud "DIS IS DEH BEST SHOW EVA! AIE HAVE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE WATCHING DESE COLORFUL PONIES!"
From that day on, Arnold Schwarzenegger became an avid fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. He would claim to his wife, that he would go to the gym to body build with his old pal Sly. Instead, he would join the other bronies in Hollywood to watch a new episode released every week. Maria knew that he was lying, due to the lack of any visible results from working out. She assumed that he was cheating on her. Little did she know that was far from the truth.
"THREE MAUTHS OF WINTEER OF CEWLNESS
AND AWESOME HOLLIEDAI'S......"
Arnie sung along with the melodic voice of Rainbow Dash, to his collection of MLP songs inside his hummer. Winter Wrap Up was his favorite song of all time.
"WE'VE KEPT AOUR HOOVIES WAURM AT HOME
TAIUME AWFF FRAUM WORK TEW PLAY!"
Arnie repeated the words sung from Pinkie Pie in a thick Austrian accent. His inner dashboard received an incoming call from Sylvester Stallone. He pushed a button to answer the call on his dashboard. It muted the song, so that his secret wouldn't be discovered by his old pal.
"Good Morning!" Arnold boasted with upbeat pride to Stallone.
"Heyyy! Arnie man! Euuhhhh.....You up for the gym later today?" Stallone slurred over the speakers of his hummer.
"Aie would love to Sly, but ahm off to the production cast of Terminader 5. Today is the production scene where aie jump into deh time displacement equipment to save John Conna!" Arnie returned to Sly over the built in microphone.
"Don't ya think yor too old for the Terminator franchise, Arnie man? I mean.....I made the Rambo remake when ehhh......" Sylvester Stallone blanked out for a minute.
"Yeagh, aie know. We're all getting up in age Sly. But deh world of Hollywood needs more sequels and remakes! Aie mean, cahm aon! When's deh last time you've seen something original cahm out of Hollywood? They need us for moar movies!" Arnold boasted with self pride.
"Ah agree Arnie man....We'll, maybe I'll swing by your place around noon tomorrow then?" Sly returns to Arnold over the speakers. Tomorrow was the premier of season four. There was no way that Arnold could miss the opening of season four, even if it killed him. The Alicorn drama was far too immense for him
"Aile think about it Sly. We'll aie am here at deh production set. Wish me luck Sly dog...."
"Will do Arnie man...." Sly hung up the phone on his end. Arnold arrived at the intersection of Hayvenhurst & Plummer in Los Angles, California. The location from which the original truck chase scene from Terminator 2 was filmed. A flashback from John Conner was to be shot there, but set in a battle scarred post apocalyptic environment. During narration, the audience was to be informed that the machines became self aware and Skynet went online. It was a type of homage, that the director felt necessary to play tribute in the new movie. Arnold was ordered to the Make-Up trailer, where the talented artists would skillfully remodel him back to his original glory days.
After three hours of vigorous hard work, Arnold appeared as his old self again. Set under the bridge from the original truck chase scene, Arnold was introduced to a time displacement equipment prop. It was a futuristic spherical pod, where the operator sat in a slanted chair and operated a control module. Little did he know, that the machine was a real time equipment displacer...
"Ok, here we have your central computer controls. Just fire everything up with this button, and act as if your operating the internal machinery. After you hear the hum, that's when our special effect's crew will be called into action. We will cut the scene after the smoke has dissipated..." The Director instructed to Arnold.
"Got eit! Just like old times!" Arnold returned with a goofy grin and a thumbs up.
"Alright, get ready everyone! 3...2...1....Action!" The Director shouted.
He pressed the buttons on the control pad of the prop. The round sphere sealed itself shut, where Arnold was now isolated from the production crew. The time displacement machine rattled violently, where visible bolts of lighting emitted from around the metallic sphere. Arnold grasped onto the internal handle bars to brace himself. After a violent flash of light was dispersed, the director yelled "CUT!" to stop production of the short clip. After the smoke dissipated from the production set, the time displacement machine was nowhere to be scene.
"Excellent! Our special effects crew really went all out on this, didn't they? I can imagine the cash flowing in my pockets right about now!" The film Director boasted aloud.
"Uh....sir? What happened to the prop?" The script Supervisor scratched his head in curiosity.
"What? What do you mean 'what happened to the prop'?" The Director snapped sarcastically back to the Supervisor.
"It's not there sir...."
"THEN WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAPPENED TO IT?!?"
Arnold Schwarzenegger: A Mishap in Equestria
That's it folks! The final conclusion to our ridiculous journey with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I will conduct a little question and answer session here to might help you uncover some unanswered questions that you might have. After that, I will leave a little teaser for my next story. It's a work in progress.
Q: What gave you the influence/idea to create such a ridiculous story?
A: The influence came from a ridiculous thought that crossed my mind when I was doing yard work. What happened if Arnold popped into Equestria out of the blue? I've did my best on how the Mane 6 would react to a situation like that. This entire fanfic is comprised and based off of that idea alone.
Q: Why only 12 chapters? Did you have plans to make the story longer?
A: The story was written to be a quick and easy read on my behalf. It was sort of a "test" to see if I got a reaction out of the public. It escalated with views so it gave me the motive to expand on it. I've learned that if your works are simple and straight to the point, then you will draw a much larger target audience.
Q: What's up with all the grammatical errors?
A: What you just read is still considered a rough draft. I will go back and revise everything to it's fullest extent. This time however, I have a few friends to help me along the way. I will get them to check over everything before I declare it's a final product.
Q: Will there be a sequel?
A: I'm sure this question has boggled everyone who has liked and enjoyed this story. At this point in time, it's a maybe. I have a few other projects that I want to release before I even begin thinking about writing a sequel.
Q: Will you narrate this story with your Arnold voice?
A: I will. Expect a full narration by the end of October. Like I said from earlier, I want to begin focusing my efforts on my next project.
Q: So, what exactly is your next project about? Will it consist of humor like this one?
A: I'm looking to expand my fields of writing with various themes. I did sci-fi and humor so far (and fantasy if I ever decide to go back on that project). I can guarantee that my next story that I have planned will be dark in nature. Something new and original. What will the story be about you might ask?
Well, I'll just leave this here.....
