Je' sat there. Typing away with his hooves on his Applejackbook. Because he really did not have anything to do.
It was late, his newly adopted daughter whose name was "Kiddo" was sleeping soundly upstairs. So the bearded green pony wanted to do something! Instead of sleeping or sitting around like usual... Considering his wife had left him and took 2 of the kids that they had created together one a hot passion filled night in her bedroom 6 summers ago...Anyway I'm getting off track... Je' began thinking...and thinking..and...Yawwwnnn...The green pony fell asleep...
In his dream he awoke, In a field of cookies and ice cream (His 2 favorite things in the world I might add)
He scratched his back with his hooves and went too take a bite of one of the conveniently placed GIANT COOKIES.
When he took a bite red fluid and screaming came from the cookie. He looked at the cookie with confusion. The cookie looked at him with eyes of pain and terror! The cookie fell, bleeding. Je' looked up and saw the a female looking cookie and a small cookie looking on with shock and horror. Je' slaughtered a father infront of his wife and kid. Je' smiled wide and took more bites. The 2 other cookies watching with horror and agony as their man of the house was devoured violently by the green earth pony. Je' then trotted away like nothing had happened, The "Cookie blood" running off of his mouth.
Je' then went into a field of green grass. He saw 2 familiar ponies, one with a rainbow mane and the other with a butterfly cutiemark. They were laying down in the field, locked in passion. Kissing deeply. Je' went into a bush and watched.
Rainbow Dash was stroking Fluttershy's wings, Fluttershy moaning with pleasure. Dashie began to nibble on Flutters wings now. Flutters moans grew louder and louder, Until Rainbow Dash's head exploded with more of that red stuff that Je' was not aware of...Fluttershy then began the touch herself over the corpse. "HA HA! The Rainbow Bitch is dead!" Flutter's danced around her remains after she had came! Then she went over to Je' and sucked his di-
"Jeeeee' "
"Jeeee'! "
Je' awoke from the dream.
He looked down and saw a familiar purple maned pony, it was his adopted daughter Kiddo.
"Can you get me some watuh." She said in the most adorable voice.
"Sure Kiddo, I'd be glad too."
Je' got up from his chair on which he had been sleeping and he got up and got his little girl a glass of water.
He then gave it too her and she proceeded to drink it. "Thank youu" She said with the cutest little smile.
"No problem sweetie, Now go back to bed okee?" Je' said in a father like voice.
"Okee" Kiddo said as she headed upstairs to sleep.
Je' then soon drifted back to sleep, Back into dreamland!
He soon appeared in front of an audience.
He noticed some ponies. Like his abusive mother and brothers.
Je' had a gun type wristband attached to his hoof and he opened fire on them.
The blood went allover the white walls. He laughed as they all died!
And then Joesph Stallion came up to him, riding on a rainbow colored badger with flame eyes and handed him an award for best kill in a dream.
Then they bother kissed passionately, playing with each others tongues.
Je' then woke up once again.
It was finally daytime.
He yawned and stretched.
"Well, I finally have material for my book!"
He was about to type the first sentence when Kiddo asked him if he could make breakfast.
She looked at him with the most adorable eyes, how the hell could he say no?
So he did! The writing would have to wait...
Damn! He remembered he had work! He finished breakfast and got Kiddo ready for school!
He rushed along, getting her dressed and bringing her to the schoolhouse! He quickly went back home and got his uniform on for his janitorial job at an office building. A couple hours of cleaning puke from drunk-on-job workers and litter from assholes who didn't throw things in the trash. Je' went into the janitors closet. He pulled up his chair and fell asleep.
He went back into the dream world.
He was riding on a Rainbow Badger next to Joesph Stallion and the Blood covered Fluttershy into battle with Luna's night guard backing them up! They charged Canterlot! They started chopping the heads off of the rich ponies and started burning shops! Some started eating more giant cookie people! It was pure and utter chaos! Then the biggest rainbow Badger of all stood in the middle of the chaos and destruction and everything stopped. Everypony looked at him. It stood there. Motionless. Then it opened its mouth to speak. "BWAAAAA." Is all it said, then everypony exploded. Je' went flying into ponyville. He then landed on Mrs.Cake. "Oh hello there." Je' said while on top of her. "Oh deary" Cake said with a blush. "I-I-I should umm...Get going..." Je' said blushing harder then she was. "No-No, Why dont you come inside for some cupcakes?" Mrs.Cake said, Je' knew what she meant and went inside with a big megusta face.
Then he awoke again to his boss yelling at him. "GET YOUR FAT LAZY FUCKING ASS UP AND GET TO WORK!" His boss yelled. "You know what, Fuck you." Je' said getting up. Je' then slapped his boss and bent him over. Nibbling on his ear. "Wait, What WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" His boss yelled with confusion and fear. "What I should have done a long time ago big boy..." He whispered into his bosses ear. "AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" His boss screamed when his stallionhood penetrated his bumhole. Then Je' woke up again. Boss raping being a dream within a dream.
"Wow Inception..." Je' thought before getting back to his duties.
Hours passed and he got off of work to go pick up his adopted daughter.
She hugged him and he hugged back. "So how was school today sweetie?" Je' asked in a calm fatherly voice.
Kiddo's face went to a frown "Diamond Tiara is keeps picking on me because I'm adopted..." Kiddo said as tears began to fill her cute little eyes. "Oh baby I'm sorry..If we go out for ice cream will that make it a little better?"
Kiddo instantly stopped crying, Ice cream was her favorite treat! They went to the ice cream shop,
Kiddo got strawberry ice cream and Je' got scotch flavored ice cream. They both enjoyed the treat and went home.
Je' played with Kiddo for a while. Kiddo loved playing with her dolls and Je' had a guilty pleasure of playing with them too.
They played "Abusive domestic household"
"Oh Hello Harold" Je' bobbed the female doll up in down in a talking motion.
"SHUT UP BITCH AND MAKE ME A SAMMICH!" Kiddo yelled while playing with the Male doll, She then made a hitting motion with it.
"OW!" Je' said with the doll.
"Why do you hit me harold? WHY?!"
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU BITCH!"
"Oh Harold Muah muah muah" Je' made kissing noises while pressing the dolls lips together.
Kiddo and Je' laughed and squeed.
The day soon passed and Je' got Kiddo ready for bed.
He read her a bedtime story and tucked her in.
He gave her a kiss on the forehead and turned off the light.
"Goodnight my little angel.." Je' said closing the door.
Je' then went downstairs and began to type the story.
He typed about the Rainbow Badgers and the FlutterDash Gore fuck.
The Joesph Stallion kissing and the murders.
"This story will be gold!" Je' exclaimed with a smile!
But then he realized...
He can't type with hooves.
The End
Author's Note
Its a short story.
I don't know why I try.
I just don't.
This was meant to be a joke.
I realize my grammar mistakes, But like I said.
This story is one big horrible joke!
