Equestria RPG

by Chaotic Dreams

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Adventure, Alternate Universe, Main 6
Length: 10711

My name is Twilight_Sparkle. I don’t question this “life” bar floating over my head, or my “EXP” gauge, or why everypony in my life seems to worship higher beings known as the Developers. It’s all normal. But why d

I don’t question the “life” bar floating over my head, or my “EXP” gauge, or the little phantasmal boxes that appear whenever I look at an “equippable” object that show its “statistics.” It’s normal for small messages to appear in the sky every now and then, such as [System update in 2 hours.] My kind worships the Developers, higher beings that direct, create, and control everything we see. It’s all normal. This is how things have always been, since I was born. My father, my grandfather, my ancestors have all accepted and coped with these elements.

So why does everything feel so... fake?

My name is Twilight_Sparkle, and I know there’s something wrong here.

Co-Written by GaruuSpike and Chaotic Dreams.

(EDIT: This story is cancelled forever because someone sabotaged all of our attempts to write. You know who you are, and so do I, and I hope you're happy for killing it.)

Published 2013-04-24 17:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-26 21:36:47 UTC

Prologue

Equestria RPG

Prologue

*        *        *

>finalize patch_v12

INITIALIZING EQUESTRIA.EXE

GENERATING LANDSCAPES...

PUTTING ROCKS INSIDE THE DIRT

PUTTING DIRT INSIDE THE ROCKS

MAKING THE WORLD EVIL

...DONE

SETTLING WATER... DONE

LOADING BUILDING INTERIORS...

[HOUSE_1] THROUGH [HOUSE_2127] COMPLETE

ERROR:[HOUSE_77] FAILED TO READ HOUSE77.DAT

WARNING:SEGMENT VIOLATION

CANCELLING [HOUSE_77]

STRANDED NPCs: 3

DEVELOPER INPUT REQUIRED.

>run datamanager.exe

DATA MANAGER INITIALIZED

[HOUSE_77] DATA CORRUPT

CANNOT CONTINUE

WARNING: RUNNING EQUESTRIA.EXE WITHOUT DATA RECONSTRUCTION MAY CAUSE THE PROGRAM TO BECOME UNSTABLE

>override

FORCE INITIALIZING EQUESTRIA.EXE...

*        *        *

This is my world.

Powerful magic saturates everything.

Things work... mathematically.

Everypony has a red bar over their head that shows how healthy they are.

If a pony is struck, a red number appears and the bar shrinks.

It’s called a “life meter.”

If our "life" reaches zero, we die.

And then we reappear at the nearest city or "save point."

Our physical capabilities are measured in numbers. “Statistics.”

Each thing we do adds to our "statistics," which we can view at a whim.

Small groups are called "Parties."

We gain "EXP" from defeating the monsters attacking our cities.

We also get it from sparring with each other.

Enough EXP and we gain a "Level," granting us some free statistic points.

This, and many other quirks.

Nopony considers these things strange.

It's always been this way.

It's not weird.

It's...

It’s normal.

I grew up in this world.

...

It shouldn’t feel weird to me.

Golden Oaks Library

8:44 AM

        A purple unicorn lay still in her bed, her chest slowly rising and falling as strips of light gradually appeared across her room. As one of the beams crawled over her closed eyelids, she blindly reached out into the cold air with a purple hoof, fumbling around until she came in contact with a long plastic rod. Gripping it in the crux of her hoof, she gave it a sharp twist. Much to her delight, the fingers of sunlight that gripped her room shriveled and disappeared.

        She shifted herself until her hoof wasn’t cold anymore, taking a deep breath. According to the message in the sky the previous night, there had just been a System Update, a minor annoyance to her. Unfortunately she couldn’t say the same for the other ponies — they ran around like beheaded chickens whenever the sky messages notified them of this.

System Updates sometimes added things, and sometimes took them away. Buildings, parks, monuments, mountains. Most ponies were worried that they would lose their houses, or their items, or their shops. Some ponies even made a connection between System Updates and Game Overs. Twilight snorted in disdain, rolling over. System Updates didn’t delete ponies. They never had, and never would.

 To Twilight, a System Update just meant that she would need to spend a few more hours in Sleep Mode, because they always reset each pony’s energy value to zero.

        There was only one thing the Developers could do that could ever cause Game Overs: a reformat. She shuddered as an unpleasant memory bubbled to the surface of her sleep-addled mind, a memory that was weathered with age, its edges disappearing into a white haze. She had only ever experienced one reformat, as a filly. Her blood ran slightly cold as she recalled the image of that gigantic, buzzing red wall that stretched to each horizon, slowly advancing from one end of Equestria to the other.

Her parents and her brother were frantically telling her to come with them, to leave behind her favorite doll and her library of books. Hurry up, they said. We don’t have much time, they said. Please, Twilight. We don’t want to lose you.

If a pony was caught by the advancing wall, they would be deleted. A Game Over. All ponies were encouraged to leave their belongings behind and move to one of the USB drives, which were like giant stark-white square rooms, big enough to hold every citizen in the country. After the reformat was over, they would return to their homes, which would somehow still be there. Or perhaps, they were destroyed and recreated. Each pony’s statistics were also reset.

        She never did find out why the Developers did that.

        A meaty thud from her smaller west-facing window roused her from her thoughts, and she blearily opened her eyes, blinking a few times to clear them. Pressed up against her window was a smiling blue face with strands of multicolored mane cascading down in front of it.

        “C’mon Twilight! Don’t you wanna get to AJ’s farm before anypony else does? It’s cider season!” The athletic mare’s voice was muffled by the glass, comedic squeaking noises reaching Twilight’s ears as Rainbow Dash rubbed her face on it, trying to get through. “Don’t you want the buffs? One of ‘em doubles EXP gain for a couple hours. I’m like seventy-seven percent here and I need to be level thirty-three by the time the next PvP match starts. Just grab the stamina potion you left on your nightstand, and let’s go!”

        Twilight blinked, unamused. She saw no sense in wasting a stamina potion for something like a System Update. She just needed to go into Sleep Mode for a bit. Obviously her blue friend had drank one herself — there was no way she could be this energetic on five or six energy points.

        Twilight wasn’t terribly interested in combat, or pony-versus-pony matches. As such, she had little interest in EXP gain. Like all ponies, she could obtain it by either defeating monsters or sparring with other ponies. But she saw no point to it; she was perfectly content to sit in her library and read books. It added to her INT stat all the same, and it was fun. But sadly, she would be terribly easy to kill if she didn’t get some EXP, some Levels, and dying was inconvenient because she would have to walk all the way back to her house from Ponyville Square. Her only real enemy was fall damage, but there was always the occasional monster or two that highly outleveled her.

        Rainbow had a point, though. Undoubtedly nopony would be at the farm this soon after an Update. If Twilight went with her, they would be second and third in line. Pinkie was always first, even at a time like this. Twilight idly wondered if she had a secret stockpile of stamina potions.

        Releasing an irritated sigh, Twilight flopped out of her bed, landing ungracefully on the carpet and taking her bedspread with her. Ignoring the snickering from the other side of the window, she untangled herself and trudged slowly to the nightstand, her legs shaking, before lighting up her horn and focusing on the small vial of yellow liquid cradled in a tiny pile of rocks.

        No dice. Her eyelids drooping a few more millimeters, she snatched the vial with a hoof and brought it to her lips, relishing in the oddly honey-like taste.

        Instantly the film over her eyes dissolved and hot water rushed through her veins, simultaneously relaxing and energizing her muscles. Swallowing some of her own saliva, she took a deep breath through her nose and released it through her mouth, her brain finally waking up and opening the doors to advanced cognition. Her heartbeat rose for a moment before calming, pulsating with energy as if there was a large battery wired to it.

        After a short moment, the rush was over. Smiling to herself, she quickly combed her mane in front of her mirror before lightly tapping her chest with her hoof. A large transparent screen fizzled to life in front of her, her purple eyes briefly scanning the information. She had configured her menus to keep all of her important real-time status elements on one screen.

        Twilight_Sparkle

HP: 85/85

        MP: 240/240

        EN: 100/100

        Perfect condition. Nodding once at Rainbow Dash and drawing an excited squeak from her, Twilight merrily trotted down her stairs, purposefully lightening her steps to not disturb Spike. He needed sleep too, after all.

        Opening the door, she saw that Ponyville was more or less a ghost town after a System Update. All it needed was a tumbleweed or two to complete the image. Her ears perked as she heard an excited squeal, and she craned her neck.

        Saying Rainbow Dash was eager would be an understatement. She was quiveringwith excitement, a blue blur flickering behind her. She reminded Twilight of a hummingbird.

        [You have received a Party invitation from Rainbow_Dash.]

        Twilight allowed herself an amused grin. Rainbow was even being formal about it. Tapping the glowing green check mark on the screen in front of her, she looked around. “Where’s Fluttershy?”

        A blue shrug. “She didn’t want to use a stamina potion, so she’s still in bed.” Understandable. Stamina potions were expensive, after all. Fifty bits a pop. The athletic mare beckoned to her eggheaded friend, landing on the ground and pawing at it. “Race ya there!”

        Twilight’s smile vanished. “Rainbow, I put most of my effort into raising my INT. I don’t have a high SPD stat, so you won’t get much of a chal—...” She scowled as she realized she was talking to empty air, populated only by a few tiny blue feathers as they lazily drifted to the ground.

*        *        *

        An amaranthine mane and the large red bar above it bounced in time with their owner as she eagerly waited for her friend to awaken. She giggled, yet another rush of energy flooding into her chest.

        “Hey... Applejack...! You awake.... yet?” she asked at each apex of her bouncing, speaking through an open window on the second floor. Below her was a structure of hay bales which, due to its questionable construction, tottered in the wind like a fragile house of cards, ready to give way any minute to the eccentric party pony’s bouncing. A low grumble emanated from the window.

        “Pinkie... Ah told ya, Ah can’t ‘ford stam’na potions... Jus’ lemme sleep, m’kay?” The farmpony’s accent was thick enough to cut with a knife. She always slurred when she was tired.

        The supercharged mare didn’t comply. “Oh don’t be silly, you silly! I can’t really afford them either! I just ate lots and lots of cake this morning!” She licked her lips, her eyelids drooping in pleasure as the smooth, creamy flavor of cheesecake revisited her tongue.

        Pinkie’s grin widened as she heard soft chuckling from the window. “Pinkie... y’know that stuff only gives temp’rary energy, right? After a few minutes, it drops even lower’n before...”

        A muted thump followed by soft snoring was the only answer to Applejack’s warning. Tearing herself from her warm, comfy bed for a moment, AJ supported herself with a hoof as she peered out the window and down at the precarious assortment of hay bales. A twinge of annoyance flared up in the back of her mind, but she smothered it with a healthy amount of willpower. Although she would personally see to it that those hay bales were loaded back into the barn, with Pinkie sweating like a pig.

        Lying on the topmost haybale, belly-up with limbs dangling off the sides, was a sleeping pink earth pony. Applejack smiled softly at the sight before crawling back into her soft bed.

Her eyes snapped back open as a loud crash was heard from outside, before she scowled. “Consarnit, Pinkie...” Shifting to look out the window again, she took notice of a large red “84” floating up past her face just before it vanished. Her face twisted up in concern. Ouch. She yawned. "You okay?"

        Pinkie was lying on the ground, her limbs splayed out every which way on the dirt. She was surrounded by hay bales, her eyes looking different directions as stars swirled over her head in a rather animated fashion.

        AJ propped her head up with a hoof, smiling playfully. After exactly ten seconds, Pinkie was back on her feet... before promptly collapsing. Her life bar was a mere fraction of its original length.

"Need some food? It'll fix ya right up." AJ’s smile widened. Food restored hitpoints. It was the obvious answer, and she could treat one of her friends to some Apple Family home cookin’.

        "Maybe some hay to sleep on, too...?" Pinkie mumbled, uncharacteristically quiet. "I still got here first... so I wanna be first in line for the cider..."

        Applejack just laughed.

        Meanwhile, Rainbow Dash had eventually decided to join her earthbound friend on the scenic route, coming to a disgruntling realization that she wasn’t going to get her race. Whatever. She would just trounce AJ at a duel when they got there. Yeah, that would make her feel better. She bit her lip, hoping that it wouldn't turn out like last time. Stupid overpowered Earth Ponies. Oh, well. She supposed she shouldn’t complain. Earth Ponies might start out with a STR boost, but Pegasi got the same treatment for their SPD stats.

        Unicorns, of course, were gifted with extra INT from the start, though Rainbow often couldn’t see how that was very useful. With SPD, you could more easily dodge enemy attacks or make yours strike home, as well as travel faster. STR, of course, made you more durable or made your physical attacks more damaging. All INT did was... well, she couldn’t honestly remember, now that she thought about it.

“Hey, Twilight! What does the INT stat do, again?” Rainbow descended to face her friend at eye level, cocking her head. “I know you get it from all the books you read, but how does it help you?”

Twilight sighed raggedly. Leave it to Rainbow Dash to discount INT. SPD and STR weren’t everything, though Twilight did have to admit that she was sorely lacking in those departments.

She cleared her throat. “Along with boosting magical abilities and increasing mana recharge rate, INT is like money for buying skills.” Twilight spoke with the air of a professor, her chin held slightly high out of habit. “If you have a high INT stat, you can buy a more expensive skill when you Level Up.”

“But what use is an expensive skill when you don’t have the SPD to land it or the STR to make it hurt?” Rainbow’s eyes regarded Twilight with childish curiosity.

Twilight chose to ignore that. “That’s the trade-off, I guess. According to legend, that’s how the Developers prevented any one race from being too powerful. If you want to be superbly effective, you have to hone each of your stats. Of course, as you know, most of us prefer specialized living styles.”

“I guess that makes sense,” Rainbow admitted, her mouth shifting to one side as she cast her gaze up to the clouds. “But I’ll stick to SPD.”

Twilight merely nodded, knowing she would do the same with INT, even if all her books did indeed advise balancing stats. But that’s what Parties were for, right? You had different ponies specialize in different areas, and then each pony could offset her party members’ weaknesses.

That’s what the Manual — the grandaddy of all books — advised, anyway. Even if it didn’t give you any INT boosts, it was by far the most useful book in the world, so much that each pony had a copy automatically uploaded into their mind at birth that they could access at their leisure.

The two ponies crested the top of the last hill before Sweet Apple Acres, which spread out before them in the mixed light of the rising sun and the setting moon. Luna was probably just now returning to the castle at Canterlot as Celestia warmed up for the day. Twilight found herself wondering idly for a moment what the stats of the princesses themselves were, as she had always been too polite to ask her mentor when she lived in Canterlot. Whatever they were, surely they must’ve been enormous.

“Twilight, check it out!” Twilight’s train of thought crashed into a mountain with a fantastic explosion as her blue friend threw out a hoof in front of them. Quite the odd creature had bisected their path. In fact, it didn’t seem like a creature at all. It was composed entirely of sticks, save for its eyes, which burned bright with leaf-green pinpricks of wispy balefire. Timberwolves weren’t exactly rare around here, but they were often found only in the Everfree Forest. It was quite unusual for one to have ventured this close to town. “You up for a little monster-bashing?”

“I’d rather just Flee,” Twilight noted uneasily. She’d been in her fair share of scraps, but that didn’t mean she enjoyed them like Rainbow Dash. She hadn’t agreed to an EXP hunt — just to a visit to Applejack’s for some cider.

“Ah, come on, Twilight!” Rainbow begged playfully. “I hardly ever get to battle alongside you anymore!”

Twilight, though, was already bringing up the Options menu. Highlighting the Flee command, she pressed the floating words with her hoof...

...only for the box to disappear and be replaced with another announcing “CANNOT FLEE FROM REQUIRED BATTLE.”

“Required battle?” Rainbow Dash read, leaning over Twilight’s shoulder. Her eyes grew wide with realization, her face splitting with a wide smile. “Then that must mean... Aw,yeah!” She pumped a hoof into the air. “We’re in a new Questline!”

“Another one?” Twilight groaned. “I was just getting over the last one!”

“Come on, Twilight!” Rainbow pleaded. “This’ll be fun! We can get the Party back together and go on another epic adventure! This is what we were programmed for!”

“I suppose it’s not like I really have a choice anyway,” Twilight conceded. “Though I wish the Developers had programmed me to read instead of ‘saving’ Equestria.”

Rainbow let out a squeal of delight, her wings buzzing behind her again. If there was one surefire way to gain Levels quickly, it was a Questline.

“Alright, let’s see...” Twilight muttered to herself as she turned her attention back to the window in front of her, tapping it once with her hoof. It now read “WOULD YOU LIKE A TUTORIAL ON COMBAT?” Her eyes narrowing, she quickly punched “SKIP.” She’d already heard the same spiel enough times to know her way around a battle, even if she did try to avoid them more often than not.

After the TUTORIAL box vanished, Twilight refocused her gaze on the wooden being in front of her. It stalked to her right, circling her, snarling as tree sap dripped from its maw. Her violet eyes snapped up to the space just above its head, where the words “Speedy Timberwolf” hovered. Monsters sometimes had adjectives placed in front of their names to indicate if they had a relative abundance of one stat. And “speedy” monsters were obviously—

TCHIK.

Twilight flinched and gasped as a red gash appeared across her foreleg, a small “17” floating out of the impact zone. She looked at it, before returning her gaze to a patch of empty air in front of her. Wait, where was the—

“Ow!” Rainbow Dash yelped as something sliced into her wing arm, the pain causing it to flap slightly slower than the other. Mere seconds rolled by before she crashed sideways into a nearby tree and fell to the ground in a crumpled heap. “What the... Urgh, cheap shot!” The pegasus rolled to her feet, snorting angrily as she glared at the nearby Timberwolf. She could have sworn that it was smirking at her, even though it didn’t have lips.

The pegasus cracked her neck, gritting her teeth. “Oh, you think you’re fast!?”

All Twilight saw was a blue blur tackling the monster and slamming it into another tree, quick as a lightning strike. Rainbow Dash proceeded to furiously kick at it with her front legs, breaking off chunks of wood with each hit. 7, 6, 8, 7, 9, 8, 10, 7, 12, 10, 12...

Twilight noticed that Rainbow Dash wasn’t doing much damage. The Timberwolf’s life bar was slowly shrinking, but she had a hunch that the monster would slip out of Rainbow’s grasp before she could kill it.

Lowering her horn to point straight at the pinned enemy, she grunted in concentration as beams of energy coalesced into her horn, causing it to glow brighter and spark more violently with each passing second. Beads of sweat dripped down her forehead, making it difficult to see her target as they slipped into her eyes and over her pupils.

With a great shout, she unleashed her Charged Blast, a vicious spear of lightning exploding out from her horn and hurtling towards Rainbow Dash. The attack slipped straight through Rainbow’s blue body, instead impaling the Timberwolf behind her and blasting it to pieces with a grand, flashing “88”.

Rainbow settled down, throwing a smirk over her shoulder at Twilight as motes of golden light flowed from the Timberwolf’s remains into her body. “Aren’t you glad I usually keep Friendly Fire off in my parties?”

Twilight nodded slowly, still panting. Bringing up her Status Menu, she garnered that she had used nearly two hundred mana points for that attack. Oh well... her high INT caused it to regenerate quickly. She breathed deep as some of the golden motes from the Timberwolf flowed into her as well, relishing in the brief warm feeling of EXP gain. She was vaguely aware of a percentage appearing in the bottom-right corner of her vision, slowly rising from “38.34%” to “44.80%.”

It was then that she became aware of a niggling feeling. It was a combination of strange sensations in her gut and mind, like there was a little creature in each. They were scratching gently, oh so gently.

Why was everything in the world based on... numbers? Why was it so easy to measure a pony’s physical capability with just a few phantom numbers assigned to abbreviations? Why did EXP, which meant “experience,” have a different meaning and purpose than what the word “experience” literally meant in the dictionary? It had always been that way, but... She put a hoof to her forehead. Something felt off. Something that had been under her nose for her entire life, but yet she never noticed it. She suddenly felt like a fish that didn’t know that it was in water. Something was wrong. Something had always been wrong. But what was it? What was it...?

Rainbow Dash flopped down against a tree, extending her injured wing and taking a gander at it. “Y’know, I was hoping that fight would be tougher.” She scoffed. “I guess that’s what I get for hanging around Ponyville. The monsters here don’t go past level twenty-five.” She chuckled for a moment, before her mirth died as she touched her wing injury and flinched. “Ow... I guess I’m not flying until I eat something. My wing is Crippled. Dang.”

Twilight shook herself out of her introspection, deciding to save it for later. “You could just walk with me, you know.”

“But walking is so boring!” Rainbow threw her hooves up to the sky. “Why do wings have to be so freakin’ fragile? They get Crippled in almost every fight unless I don’t get hit!” Turning sideways, she fell onto her back. “Sometimes I wish I was an Earth Pony so I would do more damage and not have to worry about breaking my wings.”

“Or you could buy a weapon,” Twilight chided with a raised eyebrow. “Most pegasi have small blades such as knives.”

Rainbow nickered as she waved a blue hoof in the air, not looking at her friend. “I don’t need a weapon. I’m awesome enough without one.”

“Most level thirty-two pegasi deal twenty or thirty damage per hit.”

This struck a nerve in the pegasus, and she whipped her head to face Twilight with an angry scowl. “Whatever. I’ll buy a weapon as soon as you hit level fifteen, Twi.”

Twilight cast a slight glare her way. She was only level eight. She didn’t have any interest in raising her level, since she didn’t like fighting. She had the lowest level of each of her friends. Even Fluttershy was still level twenty since, living near the Everfree Forest, she often had to defend her home from powerful monsters.

On the other side of the coin, Applejack had the highest level. She was level fifty, and she had followed a stat build that was commonly referred to as “INTless” by other ponies. Applejack had no fancy attacks, but her basic innate Earth Pony skills did a lot of damage. Her buck did almost three hundred, killing most monsters around Ponyville in a single strike.

It also served to embarrass Rainbow Dash. Twilight giggled to herself at the memory of Applejack killing her with a single well-placed buck in their latest duel. A mere twenty seconds later, Rainbow Dash had arrived at the farm again, her cheeks burning red. Fortunately for her, she was able to cause everypony to laugh it off by taking one look at the corpse of her previous Life and muttering “Wow, I’m hot.”

Rainbow had nopony but herself to blame, though, and she knew it. Applejack earned STR experience points each day simply by doing her job. Bucking apple trees was excellent exercise, after all, and Rainbow Dash mainly only gained STR from PvP matches. Even then, she only fought when she wasn’t doing her low-maintenance job as weather mare, which gave her lots of SPD points... or when she was in Sleep Mode.

Whatever the case, all of Twilight’s friends outclassed her in all but INT, as the few times she wasn’t reading she was also leveling up her mana bar by testing out new spells. She did so because she wanted to see the result, not because she wanted the Levels, but they were a nice secondary reward.

By the time Twilight and Rainbow had reached the bottom of the hill, the sun was well on its journey into the sky and Applejack was milling outside the farmhouse, offering some cider to the slumped form of Pinkie Pie.

“Must... resist... sleepiness...” Pinkie mumbled to herself before Applejack turned over the keg of cider she was carrying, a healthy stream of liquid pouring into the pink party pony’s open mouth. Her eyes widened the moment the amber drops splashed on her tongue, and she literally leapt into the air before falling back down, slowing as she did so and landing lightly on her hooves. “That’s the best batch of cider yet, Applejack!”

“Thank ya’ kindly,” said the farmpony, smiling appreciatively as Twilight and Rainbow trotted up to their friends. “And howdy, Twi and RD! I suppose ya’ll are here for some cider too?”

“We were at first,” Rainbow Dash answered. “But on our way over here, we got some awesome news!”

“It seems we’ve been activated for a Questline,” Twilight sighed. “Again.”

“Yee-haw!” Applejack hollered, rearing up on her hind legs before slapping Twilight on the back and nearly knocking her to the ground. Twilight could only imagine how strong the farmer would be at the end of this Questline. “What’s the conundrum that needs solvin’ this time?”

“We don’t know yet,” Rainbow admitted. “But as soon as we gather everypony together and find out who the leader is, I’m sure something will tell us. That’s what happened the last few times, anyway.”

“I can’t wait to find out!” said Applejack. Like Rainbow, she rather enjoyed the Questlines. The STR experience, she claimed, helped her with her applebucking and thus helped the farm. Twilight only hoped that AJ wouldn’t one day grow so strong as to buck the trees right out of the ground. Surely the Developers wouldn’t allow for that, right? “I reckon all we gotta do now is find Fluttershy and Rarity.”

“I can fly over and get Fluttershy if you can teleport over to Rarity’s, Twilight,” Rainbow offered, stretching her hurt wing, which had already begun to heal.

“I’d prefer to save my mana points for when I really need them,” Twilight noted, but she did have to admit that even she was getting curious as to what this Questline would be about. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to splurge on her stash of mana-restoring Ethers just this once... “But I suppose I can go ahead and get her. Meet you back here as soon as possible!”

With a flash, Twilight disappeared, her mana bar remaining just long enough to show a significant depletion.

*        *        *

        “Isn’t this just so exciting, darling?” Rarity almost squealed as she stood in line with her friends, bobbing on her hooves. She and Fluttershy had been the last to arrive, and now they were waiting for the Party Leader Selection as the Manual instructed. “I can’t imagine all the wonderful sights we’ll see on this adventure! And just think of all the Apparel items we can collect!”

“I kind of wish this Questline could’ve waited until next week,” Fluttershy disagreed, her voice as quiet as usual. “Or not have appeared at all... I get so worried for my animal friends when we’re away on these journeys.”

“I’m sure they’ll be fine,” Rarity assured her friend. “They were for the last few Questlines, weren’t they?”

“Yes...” Fluttershy admitted, ducking her head. “But I’m always afraid that the next Questline will end up with a Boss holding Ponyville hostage, or destroying it, or maybe we’ll fall into one of those Dungeons that’s a nightmare version of our town, or—”

“Relax, darling,” Rarity soothed, smiling at the timid pony. “I’m sure the Developers wouldn’t do anything like that. The Questlines are supposed to be fun, remember? I’m certain the Developers wouldn’t do anything that dark.”

“It’s starting!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, her body shaking as she beamed up at the sky. A glowing arrow had just appeared out of thin air, and it began moving over the six assembled ponies randomly with rapid beeping noises. Each knew that when it finally stopped, it would be pointing at the leader of the Party for this Questline.

Chapter 1

(Garuu’s note: All characters will have plenty of time in the spotlight. Especially during Sidequests, such as a stealth mission with Rarity & Rainbow Dash. ...Chaotic Dreams, where the hay did you put my raisins? I’m hungry.)

(CD: I ATE THEM ALL!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!)

Equestria RPG

Chapter One

*        *        *

        Around and around the roulette went, the arrow rapidly warping between the heads of each pony. Rainbow Dash was hovering and biting her lip, just barely containing a squeal of excitement as she stared with optimism at the mystical construct that might, just might, choose her. Her heart was pounding, her breaths were short and her mind had already delved into a fantasy of herself in shining silver armor, pointing a spear out to the world like the figure of authority she would soon be. Her five cohorts would gather around her, following in her glorious, shiny footsteps. She was the Party Leader. She called the shots. And this was how it should be.

        Everypony was silent as the arrow began to slow its rapid cycling. It was as if the air itself was holding its breath. Soon the beeping had slowed to only once or twice per second, like the popping of popcorn in an arcane microwave. This was the moment when a pony would extract their buttery feast to avoid burning it.

        The arrow moved from Rarity, to Applejack, to Twilight, and then it seemed to hover still over Rainbow Dash. The pegasus felt her chest swell with energy, and she took a deep breath.

        And then the arrow moved backward, to Twilight, before flashing once with a loud ding!

        Rainbow Dash’s excitement shriveled and died, and she dropped to the ground, frowning as her dreams collapsed like a house of cards.

        Twilight, on the other hand, was smiling awkwardly at the incriminating symbol floating above her head. She hadn’t actually expected to be chosen. She was just here for... uh... moral support?

        She felt the ground shake as her friends applauded her, stomping on the dirt and giving various congratulations. Except for Rainbow Dash. Twilight cast an apologetic glance towards the disappointed mare. She undoubtedly knew that her friend wanted to be the Leader, and in retrospect she would’ve probably made a better one, as she was a higher Level.

        “Well shoot, Twilight!” Applejack approached the Party Leader with a friendly smile. “Guess yer gonna lead the pack this time around!” She blinked once. “So uh, what’re we doin’?”

        As if on cue, a huge, burly Earth stallion seemed to materialize behind a tree before approaching the group. He had a bright pink coat that smoothly outlined the underlying muscles, a dark blue mane neatly styled up above his head. His presence carried authority and relaxedness at the same time.

        “I need your help.” His voice was so deep and so smooth, it seemed to make the ground vibrate. “Something strange is going on in the Everfree Forest, and I need you to investigate.”

        He had commanded attention from each of the mares present. Most of them were gazing with curiosity, ears perked in excitement, ready to receive their task.

        Pinkie Pie, on the other hand, was looking at him much differently. She wore a completely blank expression, her unblinking eyes locked onto him as a small blush pervaded her features and saliva dripped out of the corner of her mouth. Ooooohhhh. Pinkie liiiike.

        Applejack seemed to notice the way that her sugary friend was staring at the stallion like a starved wolf would stare at a pork chop, and sharply elbowed her. “Pinkie, look at his flank.”

Pinkie nodded dumbly, the middle of her face a bright red. “Yeahhh...”

Applejack narrowed her eyes. “That ain’t what I meant. Look — he ain’t got no cutie mark. That’s a Quest NPC. He was designed to be good lookin’, and he won’t be around for long, so keep yer tongue in yer mouth.”

        The party pony seemed to deflate at that, looking up at Applejack like a young colt would look at his mother if she told him to give up his favorite toy.

        “Be on the lookout for something strange. When you find it, you’ll receive your reward; two thousand experience points.” With that, the stallion seemed to disintegrate like he was made of paper mache, bits of him floating away and disappearing until there was nothing left.

        Pinkie frowned, but Applejack slung a foreleg around her neck with a soft smile. “Don’t worry, Pinkie. You’ll find a nice colt for yourself one day.”

        A few meters to the left, Twilight shrugged nonchalantly. “I didn’t want to do another Questline, but I guess it’ll be a good experience.”

        Rainbow Dash perked up at that, raising a blue hoof with a lopsided grin. “Don’t you mean, it’ll be good experience, as in EXP,Twilight?”

        Twilight raised an eyebrow at her. “No. It’ll be a good experience.”

        Dash pursed her lips. “But we’re getting, like, two thousand.”

        Twilight’s purple mane whipped back and forth as she shook her head. “No! I mean... Oh, forget it.” She brought a purple hoof to her forehead and gently massaged it. Right. Another use of the word “experience” that was technically improper. Yes, it was an important part of the world, but it was... wrong.

        Twilight sighed, her hoof returning to the ground. “Girls?” she asked evenly, fixing them with an honest gaze. “Do you ever think that the world is just... just wrong, somehow?”

        She was answered with five shaking heads.

        “What ever do you mean?” Rarity’s eyes were filled with simple confusion.

        Twilight took a deep breath, looking beneath her at the soft, crunchy dirt. “I don’t know how to explain it,” she muttered. “Something just... It’s...” She raised her head to look back at the group. “You know how most fish don’t know that they’re swimming around in water, because that’s all they’ve ever known?” Five nodding heads. “But there’s a whole world outside of the water?”

        “Are ya sayin’ we’re fish?” Applejack asked.

        Twilight looked at the farmer like she had just told her that the sky was green, before shaking her head. “No, no. It’s just that something about... here,” she gestured around her, “is abnormal, but we’ve never noticed it because it’s normal to us.”

        “There ain’t nothin’ wrong with my farm, Twilight,” Applejack said with a warning tone, narrowing her eyes.

        “I dunno what you mean, Twilight! I don’t think there’s anything strangey-wangey about Equestria.” Pinkie gave a good-natured grin.

        “I think AJ’s doing a good job of taking care of her farm,” Rainbow added. “I mean, the cider is awesome!”

Rarity put a hoof to her chin before looking at Fluttershy, who was backed up against a tree. “Do you have anything to say on this matter, Fluttershy?”

        The pegasus flinched at the sudden acknowledgement. “Oh! No, no. Twilight’s just being... uhm...” Her eyes flicked to several objects nearby. “She’s just imagining things. Really. I’ve never noticed anything... strange... about anything...” She bit her lip, continuing to look around.

        Applejack was the first to notice how oddly shifty Fluttershy was acting. “Do you know somethin’ ya ain’t tellin’ us, Fluttershy?” Her stare drilled into the meek pony like two high-powered lasers.

        With a small squeak, Fluttershy’s face disappeared behind a wall of light pink.

        AJ released a sigh and shook her head at the ground.

        Twilight groaned softly and held her head in her hooves. “Fine, okay, whatever, maybe I’m just crazy.” She quickly tapped her chest, summoning her Menu screens, and scrolled through them with simple hoof drags until she stumbled across ‘Quest Info.’

        INVESTIGATE STRANGE GOING-ONS IN THE EVERFREE FOREST.

        0/1

        Evidently, they were supposed to find a particular something to advance the Quest. She turned to her friends. “Let’s just... let’s just go.”

        After Applejack had notified her family that she was going to be gone for a while, Rainbow Dash had convinced Fluttershy to come out from behind her tail, and Pinkie Pie had purchased a few mugs of cider, the group headed off to the forest.

*        *        *

        A few drops of amber liquid dripped to the grass below, a long tongue rolling pleasurably out of a pink mouth.

        “Wow Pinkie, how many mugs of cider did you buy?” Rainbow Dash chuckled, raising impressed eyebrows as the earth pony gulped down her next one.

        “Mm’bout twenty.” Pinkie giggled drunkenly, a small hiccup escaping her throat. “Hmhmhm... hmhm...” Undoubtedly she was keeping them in her Inventory. There was no other way she would be able to carry that many with only one visible.

        Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Y’know Pinkie, it’s ponies like you that make my family and I want to put a ‘limit per pony’ on our cider. Yeah, our cider gives a STR boost, but it also cranks down your INT...”

        Pinkie’s face suddenly became well-acquainted with the ground. “Oh, hi there Mrs. Ladybug! I didn’t see you there! Ha ha... ahh... hah...”

        Thankfully, INT was just a stat. It didn’t accurately reflect a pony’s literal cognitive abilities, especially if that pony chose to not assign many bonus stat points to it, which were awarded for each Level Up. Although, in the case of the effects of Apple Family Cider, it seemed to cause a pony’s INT to do exactly that...

        They had just entered the Everfree Forest, which again presented its ever-present darkness and animal noises. Bzzzt. Awoooo. CAW! The group was following Twilight like a flock of sheep, none of them able to get a good look at the Menu that was pressed up against her face.

        Twilight, on the other hand, was paying no attention to the rest of the group, trudging forward like a sheep herself as her eyes were locked on the Quest Compass function of her Menu. Her ears didn’t so much as twitch at the loud plop! that echoed through the air as Applejack pulled Pinkie out of the ground. “Girls, we should be arriving at the Quest location in just a moment...”

        Twilight squinted at the sudden increase of ambient light, shielding her eyes with a hoof. They had just entered a clearing in the forest, dense canopies surrounding them but none daring to creep closer. Nestled neatly in the center of the clearing was a large structure of neatly-chiseled stone, a large circular slab of bedrock undoubtedly concealing an entrance of some sort. Twilight noted that the ‘doorway’ was glowing faintly with an eerie green light.

        Rarity’s eyes sparkled as she quickly approached the structure, so enamored was she with the stone to notice that she had walked through a chest-deep puddle of muck. “Such... such expertise! Such amazing craftsmanship!” she gushed, running her muddy hooves over the strange glyphs carved into the walls. “Whoever designed this lavish work must have been an absolute master at stone carving! Why, I’m—” Upon lifting her hoof to her forehead in one of her swoons, she had a realization. Her eyes widened as she brought her hoof in front of her to examine it, noticing the trail of mud mixed with something else dripping between her hoof and her forehead. Her irises began to shrink, her throat swelling slightly as a small whimper escaped from it, her ears folding flat against her head. Looking at the rest of her body, she noticed that the majority of her form was coated in... in... filth!

The other mares held their hooves to their ears as Rarity released an ear-piercing shriek, causing nearby tree-dwelling birds to flop over each other in an effort to vacate the area.

        Rarity was hysterical as she ran around, wiping her entire body on anything she could find to cleanse herself of the muck. She tumbled across the grass, brushed up against trees and rubbed herself as hard as she could on the stone structure. “IT’S IN MY MANE! IT’S ALL OVER ME! AAHHH!! GET IT OFF! I NEED A BATH!!”

Unfortunately, in her panic she tripped and submerged herself entirely in the very same mud puddle that had so tarnished her perfectly-groomed figure. Upon crawling out, she screeched even louder, prompting the shoving of an orange hoof into her mouth.

“Rarity! Quit screamin’ at the top a’yer lungs!” Applejack shouted, her ears still ringing.

Rarity swallowed, gazing up at the workhorse with tear-filled eyes. “But... but...”

Twilight was paying no mind to Rarity’s antics, too focused on the structure. Her Menu blipped, drawing her attention.

INVESTIGATE STRANGE GOING-ONS IN THE EVERFREE FOREST

1/1

Twilight’s mouth moved to one side of her face. Well, that was... anticlimactic. Nevertheless, her Quest Info Menu promptly gained some new text.

OPEN THE CRYPT

0/1

Her eyes widened. That was menacing. “Girls?”

        “Did we find the strange thing? Is this it?” Rainbow Dash asked, suddenly poking her head over Twilight’s shoulder to look at the unicorn’s Menu. Twilight flinched and backed away in surprise.

        “Gah! Don’t do that!”

        Dash shrugged. “I’m sorry? Anyway, is this the strange thing?” She jabbed a hoof at the glowing structure. “Where’s my EXP?”

        “Maybe we have to go inside,” AJ suggested, mostly occupied with consoling Rarity on her ‘ruined’ mane. Blinking in realization, she raised an incriminating eyebrow at the muddy mare. “Wait a minute, didn’t ya’ll cover yourself in mud fer the Sisterhooves Social with yer li’l sister?”

        “But that was different!” Rarity sobbed. “That mud was delightfully thin and I could just shake it off! This...” She jabbed a brown hoof into her mane, pulling out a sticky glob of... earth. Her eyes welled with tears as she stared at the gooey substance. “This is... sticky! It won’t come off!” After shaking her limb in a mostly-futile attempt to cleanse it, she tapped her chest, a transparent white-tinted screen shimmering into existence in front of her. She gasped, horrified. “It’s even reducing my SPD by thirty percent! Oh, how uncouth!”

“Okay, then.” Rainbow Dash nodded in understanding, completely ignoring their local drama queen as a grin crept onto her blue face. “We go inside, then we get EXP. Sweet! I think two thousand is enough to Level me!” With that, she darted up into the sky, spending a superfluous amount of time doing loop-de-loops and other unnecessary tricks before diving at full-speed at the door.

Thwack.

Rainbow Dash slid to the ground with an unceremonious squeaking noise, not a crack left by her high-speed impact. However, her life bar was noticeably shorter. She groaned, slowly lifting herself back to her feet.

Fluttershy, who had been playing with some bunnies in a nearby patch of tall grass, lifted her head like a meerkat at the noise. Upon seeing Rainbow Dash with an incomplete life bar, she gasped in horror, galloping to the mare. “Oh, you poor thing!” She slid to a stop before her friend, gasping again as she noticed a small trail of red liquid dripping down Dash’s forehead.

“Ugh... I-I’m fine,” Rainbow muttered, gripping her head with both forelegs. Her expression was two parts dazed and three parts frustrated.

Fluttershy ignored her and reared up, her forehooves glowing with a heavenly white light as a strange ring expanded outward from them. The ring had a design in it, almost like ancient runes, and sparkled with an otherworldly power as it began to rotate. It spun faster and faster, the glyphs within becoming incomprehensible before Fluttershy’s hooves slammed powerfully into the ground, white energy rippling across the grass.

Rainbow Dash’s splitting headache suddenly began to dissolve as the same white ring appeared around her, etched into the ground as if by an experienced stone carver. Waves of light rose from it, bathing the pegasus mare in a strange sense of contentment, a relaxing warmth that flowed through her as if she had just gulped down a mug of hot cocoa on a chilly night. The incomplete red bar floating just above her head swiftly refilled, complemented by a glowing green “123.”

Fluttershy then tackled her, holding Rainbow Dash on her back. “W-what the—” Rainbow was interrupted as a yellow hoof fitted a tongue depressor into her mouth. “Ellhh?”

“A-are you okay now? Did that Skill work? Does your head hurt?” Fluttershy drilled her friend with doctorly questions, to all of which Rainbow Dash responded with a incoherent grunt.

Dash’s eyes narrowed and she shoved her friend’s hoof away. “I-I’m fine now, Flutters. Thanks, by the way.” She smacked her lips once, her face scrunching up with revulsion at the awful taste of the tongue depressor. “Awgh! That was nasty!”

Fluttershy visibly shrunk. “Oh! Oh, I’m sorry... I was just...”

Meanwhile, Twilight’s eyes were wide with absolute fascination, her mouth slightly open. “You learned a healing spell, Fluttershy?”

“Yes,” the quivering lump of yellow fur replied. Two eyes poked out of it. “My animals sometimes get hurt, and I figured that I could save some money if I just learned a healing spell instead of buying a bunch of medical supplies...”

“Well, that saves us some trouble too,” Twilight added with a grin. “I haven’t even touched the Restoration tree...”

“Yeah yeah, Fluttershy can heal now, big whoop.” Rainbow Dash impatiently waved a blue hoof, her face fixed with a slight apathetic scowl. She pointed at the stone structure again. “How do we get in there?”

Twilight’s chin was met with a purple hoof. She sat down on her haunches, staring with a cold, calculating gaze at the “Crypt.” She had absolutely no idea how to enter it. Did they need a key? Could Applejack bust the door down with her ridiculous STR? Could Twilight teleport inside and open it from there with a conveniently-placed lever? Nah, that last one was wishful thinking. The Developers wouldn’t have made it that easy.

Standing up, she trotted slowly to the large, glowing stone disk that sealed the entrance. Could it be rolled out of the way? Was there a password? Did she need to solve a puzzle? She placed her hoof on one of the glyphs, using it to support herself as she reared up slightly to get a better view.

And then she suppressed a yelp as a purple-tinted rectangle appeared in front of her face.

[ENTER DUNGEON?]

Oh.

She took a quick glance behind her, her cheeks burning up. It was so obvious, and she hadn’t even considered it. Thankfully, none of her friends seemed to be looking her way — they were sharing a spirited discussion of what they would spent their next sets of Skill Points on.

Twilight swiftly jabbed the green check mark on the Menu, and the ground began to shake as the unmistakable noise of stone grinding against stone echoed through the air. The stone doorway rolled aside (of course), revealing a staircase that descended into absolute pitch-black. Twilight took one breath through her nose and immediately regretted it, frowning.

“Sweet!” Rainbow Dash cheered, immediately jumping into the air and soaring to the entrance of the dungeon, only to collide with a shimmering, transparent blue wall. Thankfully, this one didn’t drain her life bar.

[PARTY LEADER MUST ENTER DUNGEON FIRST.]

Rainbow Dash scowled at the message on the blue Menu, before directing her scowl to Twilight, whose ears promptly folded. Twilight shrunk slightly as she turned around to face her other friends, who were staring at the entrance with awe. “A-alright everypony, let’s go in...”

All of them eagerly complied. Well, four of them did.

“Wait, where’s Fluttershy?” Applejack asked, looking around before she laid eyes on a quivering pink tail sticking out of a bush. Sighing raggedly, her eyebrows fell flat enough to build a house upon as she approached it. She quickly took hold of it in her jaws, giving a hard yank and extracting a wide-eyed pegasus.

“Wait, no!” Fluttershy begged as she was forcefully dragged to the dark, scary staircase. She scraped at the ground with her front hooves and planted her rear firmly into the dirt, trying as hard as she could to fight against the strong earth pony. “No! I don’t wanna go in! It’s dark! And scary! Nooo!!”

“C’mon, Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash groaned through the blue hoof over her face. “Don’t do this again... I want my EXP, so suck it up and be brave!”

“I am being brave!” Fluttershy cried, still trying to get away as she and Applejack rejoined the group. “I wanna be brave at home! Locked in my closet!”

“I think this Questline might be rather difficult without you, Fluttershy.” Twilight pursed her lips. “Every Party needs a healer.”

Rainbow Dash nodded mutely, all of her muscles tensed up as she gave Fluttershy a hard glare, causing the coy pony to release her hold on the ground and curl up into a tight ball. AJ appreciated the reduced friction as she continued to drag her along.

As Twilight passed through the shimmering blue field, it dissolved with a descending ringing noise.

And the six mares, walking or flying, pulling or being dragged, enthusiastic or not, trudged cautiously into the darkness.

*        *        *

        “Twilight, I can’t see. Got a light?”

        Twilight’s ears perked up as she focused on her sense of hearing, unable to see anything. They had reached the bottom of the staircase, but it was pitch-black and the spellcaster had forgotten the mental combination for her Illumination spell. She instinctively brought up her Menu to look it up, only to have her hopes dashed as she realized that she couldn’t see it. It would have been very useful if Menus gave off light, but the Developers most likely didn’t program that in because it would allow ponies to cheat in dark areas by using their Menus as flashlights.

“Smoking is absolutely dreadful for your health, Rainbow... It reduces every single one of your stats and doesn’t provide any buffs.” Rarity sounded genuinely concerned.

        “That’s not what I meant!”

        “Girls? How do I cast the Illumination spell again?” Twilight hoped that Rarity in particular would answer her.

        “The combination is red-yellow-red-blue, Twi.” If anypony could see, everypony would be staring at Applejack.

        “Wait, you know how to cast an illumination spell? Well then, why don’t you do it?” Rainbow Dash’s voice was dripping with her trademark impatience.

        “I don’t have the Skill learned...” Applejack coughed.

        “Then how the heck do you know how to cast it, Miss Level Fifty?”

        “Just because I don’t have the INT to learn most skills doesn’t mean I don’t use my Menu to look at ‘em every night before I go to bed, wishin’ I could get ‘em,” AJ snapped, her voice just barely above a low growl. Apparently this was a sensitive topic. “Everypony can learn magic, but only some races can do some spells. Illumination is for Unicorns only.”

        There was a pregnant silence. “J...Jeez, Applejack, I didn’t mean it like that...” Rainbow’s voice was bordering between indignant and apologetic.

        Twilight decided to let the situation simmer down instead of adding to it, wordlessly thinking of the color combination in sequence. She felt a tingling in her horn as it sparked, before a purple light spawned at its tip, revealing the surrounding area.

        Applejack was looking at Rainbow Dash like she was something that needed to be scraped off of her hoof. Rainbow Dash swallowed. “Applejack, I-I’m sorry, okay? It’s... it’s just a few skills!”

        The farmpony heaved an angry sigh as she tore her gaze away, leaving Rainbow Dash hovering anxiously. “Ya don’t get it, do you?” she muttered under her breath.

Her blue ears folding, Rainbow chose to be silent for the moment, softly fluttering along as everypony continued to walk down the narrow hallway. She wasn't very good with social situations like this.

        A soft growling noise suddenly met their ears, drawing everypony’s attention. Out of the darkness stepped what looked almost like a pony. A solid black pony with glowing, soulless red eyes and sharp teeth. The six Party members got into fighting stances, Twilight taking the front.

        “Here we... uhm, go,” Rainbow Dash muttered from the back, guilt stunting her excitement.

        But then something... strange happened.

        Everypony’s ears perked up as they began to hear something. It was an extremely grating, high-pitched buzzing. It sounded unnatural, and it was getting closer. Twilight began to notice that the environment around them seemed to be flickering, parts of the walls and floor turning to static for fractions of seconds. The light level even flickered, briefly becoming as bright as daylight.

        The ground was vibrating and things were phasing in and out of existence. Twilight could’ve sworn she saw the Quest NPC stallion walking towards her before his form split in several different directions, flashing with static, disassembling and jerking every-which way. “E-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h,” he droned, incomprehensible. The high-pitched buzzing only grew louder.

        “What’s happening!?” Fluttershy squeaked, hiding behind her tail.

        “I-I don’t know!” Twilight almost screamed as the monster-pony lunged toward her before turning to static, splitting apart, teleporting backwards and disappearing. It was almost as if reality was falling apart at the seams. Nothing was staying how it should’ve been: the walls kept reforming and changing shape, every object she could see couldn’t decide on what it wanted to be, and the light kept flickering from ultra-bright to pitch-black, and every magnitude in-between.

        But yet, something spoke up at the back of Twilight’s mind. It was a part of her, a more cold and calculating part. It said something that made her feel an alien, unwelcome mote of satisfaction amidst her fear and confusion. I was right, it said. Right about what?

        Rainbow Dash, on the other hand, was gasping like a fish out of water, shaking like Fluttershy. Her blood froze solid as something crossed her mind. She knew exactly what was going on. “Glitch!” she screeched, gripping the pony nearest to her — Applejack — and trying to drag her back towards the entrance. She hooked her forelegs around AJ’s back legs, planting her own back legs on the stone floor and heaving for all she was worth. “Guys, run! We need to get out of here right now! Forget the Questline! If we stay here, we might get corrupted, or even deleted!”

        Glitch? Was that some kind of monster that was playing tricks on them? Twilight mentally scoffed, staring down the rapidly-disintegrating environment with a cocky smirk. If it could do this to them, it was undoubtedly strong. Maybe defeating it would Level her a few times, and she would be better-suited for the rest of the Questline. “It might be good EXP. Let’s fight it!”

“WHAT!?” Rainbow Dash’s voice cracked like a window, her eyes filled with fear. “No! This isn’t... it... Just run! I-I don’t want you guys to end up like Mom!” She pulled harder on Applejack, trying to drag her back toward the entrance.

        “M-maybe we ain’t strong enough to fight it yet,” Applejack said, quickly turning tail and galloping away from the approaching tear in reality. Pinkie had finally snapped out of her drunken stupor, her expression horrified as she quickly joined her fellow Earth Pony. Rarity, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash soon followed, leaving Twilight standing on the edge of the crumbling, fluctuating, warping, disintegrating hallway.

        Twilight finally took a deep breath and bolted backwards, clamoring up the staircase with the rest of her group. The solid, pleasant light from the sun outside beckoned to them, promising a safe haven from... whatever was happening to the Dungeon. She was the last one out, and just as her tail passed through the entrance barrier, the entire structure split and hissed, succumbing to the same fate as the hallway. The buzzing grew so loud that each mare had to cover their ears, before it abruptly stopped as the Dungeon turned to static and vanished into thin air. In its place was an enormous flashing red Menu box with a large X on it. Underneath was the caption “ERROR.”

        “C-can somepony tell me what the hay just happened?” demanded Applejack. Having set aside her anger at Rainbow Dash, she looked helplessly at her Party members.

Twilight was sitting on her haunches, staring blankly at the place where the Dungeon used to be. All that was left was a hole. Not just a hole in the ground. A hole in... everything. Instead of a pit carved neatly into the ground, there was... It was hard to explain. Peering into the hole, she saw... the sky. Looking up, she saw the same sky. She looked back down, and her eyebrows rose with confusion. How did that even work?

Pinkie was lying on the ground, rubbing her head with her hooves and taking deep breaths.

Rarity and Fluttershy were standing near Rainbow Dash, who was curled up on the ground, trembling like a small foal.

        “Rainbow Dash?” Rarity asked, her face twisted with concern as she placed a muddy — but fortunately dry — hoof on the mare’s cheek. She didn’t respond.

        “It... It... It... It almost happened again... A-again... It... I...” Rainbow Dash continued to tremble, her expression suggesting that she had just re-lived a very bad memory. “J-just like... Mom... N-not again... please... not you guys too...”

        “What? What happened to your mother?” Fluttershy’s voice was even softer than usual.

        Rainbow swallowed, clenching her eyes shut as she took a shaky breath. “A Glitch... I-I was a filly... our house... it... she was just... just gone...”

        Fluttershy hugged the distraught mare in an attempt to comfort her, but the ears of everypony present rose again at a quiet, distant bout of spirited evil laughter, sounding as if it came from somewhere miles away but was carried to them by the wind.

        Twilight’s Menu automatically opened, startling her again. She would never get used to that. Stupid Questline. Regardless, It blipped once as the information changed.

“THE CRYPT” PROGRESS: -12399430024.432%

DUNGEON CLEARED

REWARD EXP: 2,002

        This garnered a single raised eyebrow from the unicorn, but she ignored the improper progress value. Golden light flowed from the ex-dungeon into each of the Party members. Looking at them, she noticed that their Menus had each automatically opened as well. Each one was the same color as the coat of the pony it belonged to.

        The number in the bottom-right of Twilight’s vision quickly climbed from 45% all the way to 100%, and she flinched as a small explosion of white light burst out from her form, accompanied by a chorus of chimes. Above her head floated glowing purple text that read “LEVEL UP x2,” casting light in all directions. It lived for only a moment, soon disappearing into the wind. She smirked. Apparently the Quest was far above her Level, and as a result it had given her a higher percentage of EXP than the Developers intended.

        Similar events happened to Rainbow Dash and — surprisingly — Fluttershy, minus the “x2.” It had thankfully snapped Dash out of her traumatization, enabling her to sit up, gazing in wonderment at the blue text above her head.

        Fluttershy was smiling widely. She took a deep breath, her chest tensing to deliver a joyous shout. Unsurprisingly, all that came out was a quiet “yay!”

        Applejack looked morosely at the ground. “I only got about two percent from that...” The average Level of the Party was much below hers, so sadly, she did not receive many benefits.

        Rarity looked almost petulant with the way she was pouting. “Oh, drat! I wish I had Leveled Up too!” Twilight had no doubt that Rarity was referring to how a Level Up automatically dispelled any negative status effects on a pony, including being coated in mud. She giggled with amusement.

        Rainbow Dash was scrolling through her Menu, her hoof pawing softly at it. Even from this side, Twilight could tell that she was looking at available Skills.

        Pinkie was still lying on her back, frowning painfully with a foreleg draped over her eyes. She most likely was suffering from the Hangover status effect.

        “I’m gonna... uhm... put my skill points into Heal, i-if you all would like that...” Fluttershy smiled softly, ducking her head. At a few nods, she gleefully tapped her Menu a few times.

        “Cyclone, creates a tornado... Throwing Knife Mastery... Ooh, Backstab? Forty percent more damage from behind?” Rainbow Dash’s face lit up with a wide grin, putting the hearts of Rarity and Fluttershy at ease. She was okay now. “So many choices, and such riches aplenty...”

        “Not a bad problem to have, if you ask me...” Fluttershy gave a cheesy, knowing grin to her fellow pegasus, her eyes sparkling.

        Applejack rubbed her chin for a moment, before she, against all laws of reality, snapped a hoof. “Oh, I get it! That’s part of the song you two sang way back when, when ya’ll were tryin’ to pick a pet for Rainbow, right?”

        Applejack was answered with two snickering pegasi. Rainbow nodded, before adopting a confused expression. “Hold on, how did you just do that?”

        The farmpony tilted her head, adjusting her hat so it wouldn’t fall off. “Do what?”

        “That... thing. With your hoof.” Rainbow tried to mimic the action, but couldn’t do it. She stared at the smooth blue surface of the bottom of her hoof, her face scrunched up in confusion.

        “This?” Snap. A lopsided grin crossed Applejack’s face as Rainbow nodded at her again. “Pinkie taught me.”

Rainbow raised her hoof, her mouth hanging open, before looking at Pinkie and back to AJ. It was Pinkie Pie. Sort of. “...Okay?” she conceded with a shrug.

        Twilight, meanwhile, was staring at her Menu. A message had appeared.

        PLEASE CHOOSE STARTER_CLASS.

Already? Twilight thought. But we didn’t really do anything!

Nevertheless, the options were still displayed before her. She knew from previous Questlines that the Party Leader always selected their Class first, usually after the first challenge was completed. After that, each subsequent major challenge would allow the other Party members to choose their own Class, in order of highest Level to lowest Level.

Whether the Party really had accomplished anything yet or not, though, it seemed Twilight was meant to choose her Class here and now. She thought back to the classes she’d held in her previous Questlines (the only time anypony ever held a Class was during a Questline; they had to give up their Classes after completing it). She’d been hoping to reprise a few of those Classes, but the options before her were, as always, new.

“Hmm...” Twilight murmured to herself, scanning the options, her hoof raised to click.