"So," a low rugged voice stated off as a policeman appeared through the door of the enclosed room. His head a rats nest of what was a blonde mane. Able to be seen through from a mile away. His shirt, white, with a fresh coffee stain smeared near his left breast pocket. His pants littered with variant hairs, from what one could only assume came from his pets. While his pitch black shoes tilted him to his side ever so slightly from the worn out soles.
Startled a bit, my body straightened itself as a surprised bolt ran through it. My feet acting on their own pushed me an inch or two back causing my wooden chair to creak and screech across the floor. I looked at the stallion, and he at me, both paused for but a moment while our eyes interlocked. A second or two passed before he shook off my reactions and cleared his throat. "so," he reiterated, "quite the wrap you've made for yourself Ms..." He looked down and peered at the manila folder he held within his hooves, filled with various files and a mug shot of me held on by a cheap paperclip. "Trixie. It's Trixie right?" He questioned me before continuing, awaiting confirmation.
I snapped out of my daze, rapidly blinking a few times before a violent but brief nod.I watched him silently as each step he made echoed throughout the small interrogation room. Every repetition sent a new chill down my spine until he finally reached the chair just opposite of where I sat, across a plain broad metal table. He screeched his chair back like I had just a moment ago as he positioned himself to take a seat. Seated, he scooted himself back in before slapping the envelope down onto the table.
The whole time I hadn't broken my gaze on his face, terrified as to what was to come my mind was completely blank. Complete auto pilot. He leaned back exhaling as he slung one leg over the back of the chair, and rested the other at the edge of the table. Tapping his hoof on the metal table a few times in contemplation before stopping. With another clearing of his throat he grabbed my attention from my daze and pointed to the envelope with his eyes.
"Go ahead, take a look if you don't believe me." he stated as he slid the envelope further towards me with his unslung arm. I lifted my arms in unison from the table where there had been marinating in the icy chill. A small racket was made as I lifted and glided my handcuffs chain across the table. Having the folder in hoof, I slid it back over to myself, repeating the noise once more.
I flipped open the folder and saw various locations of where I had been over the past couple of months, ever since that faithful day...
"Impressive isn't it?" The stallion asked as he leaned forward, lapping one arm of the other on top of the table. I lifted my head before lifting my gaze back at him. His back was completely hunched over and a small grin was painted on his face. "That right there," he gestured towards the folder with his head. "that has got to be; thee most impressive case file I have ever seen. I mean jeez, l-look at this right here" he started off with joy in his voice as he grabbed the folder back away from me. "right here." He drawled out as he pointed to a certain section. "Breaking an entering, grand theft auto, burglary, resisting arrest,drunk in public, sales operations without a permit, false advertising, carrying a wand without a conceal permit, graffiti, and loitering... In. just. one day." His grin turned into a smile as he leaned back into his chair. "I mean, come on! That's barely scratching the surface too! T-this," he paused for a moment to gain his composure and reel in his giddiness he had begun to display, "this right here." he tapped on the folder twice emphasizing it. "this is the kind of case that'll move me up in this department. Hell maybe even get me a relocation gig at one of the bigger cities in the kingdom."
I moved my gaze away from him, looking behind me out the corner of my eye. I was growing tired of his constant talking.
A one way mirror rested behind me, accompanied with more of the lovely grey wall that encompassed the entire room.
"Hey," the stallion spoke up again, tilting his head to the side as he leaned over the table with his torso. "don't worry about what's going on behind you. I'm the only one you're dealing with right now. What they see in here, " He scrunched his face and shook his head back and forth before un-furrowing his brow. "don't make no difference to you. Because they have no say or chips in the pot when it comes to you." He leaned back into his chair for a moment before he flailed both his arms into the air for a brief second before allowing them to fall with a small clap sound emerging from his sides. "You gonna talk at all girl?" I gave no response as I continued to peer at him through the corner of me eye. He took in a sharp inhale as he looked towards the only door in the room. Exhaling, he began again. "Ya know, there's really only two options for you right now. You honestly gain nothing from just sitting there, biting your tongue. It's completely in your right to do so, but there's nothing in it that's going to benefit you. Face it, you're busted kid. We've been after you for months. We have multiple, no, dozens of witnesses in fact, that can point you to every single case we have on file right in this folder. We know that you did it, we're just looking for the why... And to be quite frank, some of the 'how 'with a few of them. So, option one is to keep on doing what you're doing what you're doing with that pouting demeanor on your face. Or, you can explain a few of these scenarios for me. I gotta tell you, it'd make my job and the rest of the folk on working on all of your cases much, much easier. A lot of us have families we'd like to go home to instead of just sitting here wasting our time away until the wee hours of the morning all the while you sit here silent."
My head moved over towards him slightly.
He bit his lower lip before continuing. He let loose a chuckle as he reached towards the folder before putting his hoof back down on it. "I'll be honest and I'll give ya credit. Some of the cases... Well. They're just so damned bizarre, we've been having a hell of a time coming up with any possible way you could pull some of these stunts off! I mean," he leaned in once more, displaying the same giddiness he displayed earlier, "that bakery robbery." He said in a intense hushed tone. "That one, that's gotta be my favorite. We've gotten reports of you crawling through the sewage system and drilling your way up into the shop. Others said that's not it at all, but rather they saw a mare flying through the moonlight night, swinging by a rope off of a neighboring store. But I don't believe for a second that that's what happened."
I turned fully towards him to face him, intent on hearing what his theory was.
"Now see I got a feeling that you're one smart cookie. You wouldn't dare degrade yourself with rummaging through sewage, and no way you would swing from building to building. No that'd be far too risky. I have this; idea..." He lifted his hoof away from the folder and leaned back into his chair, crossing his hooves across his chest. His head tilted to the side as he pouted his lips a bit. "The bakery. They're a cornerstone piece of this town. Everyone knows the Cakes and their shop. And being that we live in such a small tight knit community, customer service is extremely important. You get even just one disgruntled customer spreading a rumor of how terrible a service is, suddenly business starts plummeting. The Cakes have a one hundred percent customer satisfaction guarantee. Don't like the cake? the pie, the cupcakes? No problem, they'll take the product back and they'll refund you the money fully. But, and this is where things get kind of farfetched, I think you bought a cake." He paused before shaking his hooves in the air, "I-I know this is crazy," he stated before resting his hooves back onto the table. " but I say you made a purchase. Possibly a wedding cake for somepony. Picked it up, took it home and then proceeded to slice it in half, maintaining it's structure. Hollowed it out enough to put yourself in it. Made a call to the Cakes telling them of your disapproval of the cake and had them pick it up at your place with you inside it. They take you back to the bakery, and now you're on the inside. Problem is, you'll just be disposed of right?"
He seemed to be asking me rather than explaining his theory to me. I didn't make a motion.
He let the moment move pass before continuing. "Wrong!" He claimed with complete confidence in his statement. "The Cakes do a weekly donation drive. All the unsold or unwanted goods they sell or don't sell they give away to the townsfolk in the middle of town square. When was the robbery called in? The night before the drive... Meaning you got in, hung around until the shop closed, and once empty you proceeded to withdraw from the cash register, and anything else you saw fit before easily walking out of the shop thanks to the doors not being locked from the inside!" He declared to me, pointing one of his hooves at my face. He panted a few times as a few new beads of sweat appeared on his forehead.
I leaned my torso over the table as I set both my hooves to edge of the table. The stallion's hoof recalled a bit back towards himself as I leaned forward. His smile began to retract itself a bit as well. I opened my mouth for a moment before I replied in a hushed tone, "Are you stupid?" I muttered.
"Wh-What?" The stallion stammered back at me, confused.
I leaned back into my chair quickly, thudding against it. I crossed my arms across my body and rolled my eyes a bit. "Are. You. Stupid?" I sounded out each syllable as plainly as possible. "That has got to be thee most asinine, most convoluted idea I've ever heard in my life! First off, the Cakes live in their own shop. Everyone of them live on the second level. You tell me that I could break into a locked cash register without waking them, or own of the toddlers up? Not only that, but do you think I could hollow out and reseal a cake without them noticing by myself? But I wouldn't even be able to get to that point because, and you should already be well aware of this, I'M BROKE! I've been homeless for the past," I paused for a moment and looked up to the ceiling for a second recalling my housing status of the past year, "three months. Where the hell would I tell them to pick the cake up at? Some strangers house? I'm pretty sure someone would have seen this large random cake that has magically appeared on their front doorstep and think; 'Gee, that's not right. Why is this on my property?'. I mean the ponies of this town are dense but they're not complete fools." I uncrossed my legs and waved off towards the stallion dismissing his proposed theory. "Please," I groaned as loudly as possible, "for a detective that went on about how my actions are your saving grace to move up in the world, you'll be chewed up and spat out on day one if this is the kind of results and work you're gonna be giving."
I let loose a few exasperated breaths as I looked back away from the stallion. He was quiet as his demeanor changed from a confident, and reaffirmed to completely lost in just a matter of a few sentences. He set his hooves back on the table. We sat in silence with one another for what felt like the longest minute of our lives, all the while being serenaded by the blissful buzzing of the flickering lights above both of our heads.
He finally broke the silence as he whimpered out his response, "Then," he paused again, "then how did you do it?"
I let my head fall to my shoulders and rolled out around my shoulders until I returned to face the stallion, sighing all the while. "I don't know, cause I didn't do it!"
The smile that had disappeared from the stallions face quickly reemerged. "Ahh, that's it." He stated with a coy tone abundant in his voice. "The old, I didn't do, you have the wrong mare excuse."
"No! I'm simpl-" He interrupted me as I tried to explain myself.
"I think we're done here," He chuckled a bit as he scooted himself away from his chair, grabbing and sliding the folder towards him. "You had me going for a while there." He said smiling as he continued to chuckle to himself.
"But I didn't do it!" I responded hastily, slamming my hooves to the table. "Did I steal from the bakery? Yeah, but I stole twenty bits! That's all!" The stallion stopped his walk towards the door and looked back at me. I gathered my breath quickly and continued. "Was I there during the 'day' of the robbery? Yes. Was I there during the 'night'? No. I went in, I asked to try some samples of wedding cakes cause I was starving! I hadn't had a bit to eat in days. When they asked where my wedding partner was, I said he wasn't here with me. So they turned me down cause both of us had to be present. On my way out, some ditzy pink mare that works there was finishing up a sale. In the middle of putting the bits into the register, the customer paused her and asked about another pastry. Without closing the drawer to the register the mare walked away and I took twenty bits from it so I could get something to eat!" I shouted at him. "I didn't steal anything more than that!"
The stallion now completely halted, turned his body fully back towards me. A questioned puzzled look was plastered on his face. "So if not you, then who?"
I throw myself back into the chair and crossed my arms against my chest again. "I don't know. If I did do you think I'd be in here now? I would have tried to turn whoever the person is to maybe get some rewards money or something." I scolded back at him.
The stallion looked at me then looked down at the folder. "Are any of these actually... Yours?"
I sunk a bit into my chair, pouting all the while.
"The grand theft auto?"
"Not mine." I hissed back at him.
" The burglary?"
"I just confused to doing that one! Don't you listen?"
"Drunk in public, resisting arrest?"
"I don't know.M-maybe"
"False advertising, and sales without a permit?"
"I had to get bye..."
"Carrying a wand without a conceal permit?"
"I was holding it for a friend!" I jolted back up at him. "For a 'friend'." I reemphasized.
I could hear the stallion sigh as he raised his hoof behind his neck, massaging it a bit before he started again. "I'm gonna need some coffee, do you want some?" I turned back over to him. "It's gonna be a long night. If we got that one wrong about you, we may have gotten others wrong, maybe we have some right. But if some are right, we gotta know how severe of a punishment you'll need to receive. So, do you want anything?
I nodded slightly at him.
"Right. Well, uh. I'll be back then." He straightened himself and turned around, exiting the room. I could hear the shifting gears of him locking the door behind him.
I slouched my head back down onto the table, closed my eyes. Sighing, "It is going to be a long night."
Author's Note
grand theft auto, burglary, resisting arrest,drunk in public, sales operations without a permit, false advertising, carrying a wand without a conceal permit, graffiti, and loitering... In. just. one day
